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vbecker10 · 7 months ago

Note

Could I request headcanons (or a little scenario if that's what you'd prefer) for loki befriending the new member of their team that can turn into a huge bear and she's used as their heavy hitter in fights but since a bear's sense of smell and hearing is much more sensitive than humans she has a tendency to get bad sensory overloads even in casual settings and shifting between forms sometimes leaves her in pain and just basically how they would bond over time and help her through her struggles. Thanks!

Help you Bear It

(I'm not proud of this pun but @soubi001 will be lol)

Pairing: Loki x female reader (Y/N)

Summary: As the newest member of the Avengers, you are desperate to prove yourself as a heavy hitter who can keep the others safe. You hide the pain you feel when shifting between your human and bear form during training sessions but while you are on your first mission in the field, Loki knows something is wrong. He tries to support you through your shift back to being human and is curious as to why you fight through the pain when you could just never shift again.

Warnings: fighting, minor injuries, anxiety, some sensory issues, pain when shifting forms, feeling useless, feeling like a monster, abandonment issues - don't worry, Loki is super comforting, fluff at the end

A/N: I'm so so sorry it took me forever to get to this request. I'm finally going through my requests and I thought this idea was super interesting. I sort of ran with it a bit so I hope you don't mind if it's a little different from your ask. Thank you for sending it! I hope you like it! 💚

lille bjørn - little bear in Norwegian (I asked Google so hopefully that's right lol)

You roar loudly, standing tall on your hind legs as Steve spins and throws his shield towards you. Swinging one of your massive claws, you easily swipe it from the air and send it to the ground with a heavy thud. Your attention is pulled from the Captain by the sound of Clint unleashing a series of arrows in your direction. Running on all fours, you avoid being struck as you close the distance between you and Steve.

Without his shield, Steve has little choice but to turn and run from you, hoping one of the others will distract you until he is armed again. Your head turns towards the sound of another series of arrows leaving Clint's bow and you easily change course. Out of the corner of your eye, you see a flash of red and know the God of Thunder has joined the fight. Your attention now shifts to finding Thor, you take a sniff of the cool air and growl when you catch his scent.

Stalking slowly to the tree he is hiding against, you keep one ear open listening to Steve's footsteps through the tall grass. Just as you reach the tree, another arrow zings past you and you stand on your hind legs for a better view of its origin. You finally see the archer, hidden in the thick leaves of a tree several yards away. He is too far for you to do anything at the moment but at least you've located him. Now back to the god and super soldier, you think, your lips curling to show your sharp teeth.

Lightning cracks overhead and the fur around your neck stands up in response, you let out a low growl. The thunder that follows is not enough to hide Steve's approach from behind and you turn to face him. Again, he throws his shield at you with as much force as he can but you swipe it away, embedding it into a nearby tree. With a roar, you charge forward but at the last second, you turn to your left just in time for Thor to land before you, his red cape fluttering around him in the breeze.

He dodges your charge, leaping out of the way but not in time. You reach for him with one of your large claws and pull him back to the ground by his ankle. He swears loudly in Asgardian as you slam him down on his back but before you can continue your attack, you hear Steve pull his shield free from the tree. Three more arrows fired in quick succession soar towards you, you swerve through them and keep your attention fixed on the Captain. Roaring as you run to meet him, he throws his shield for a third time and for a third time you cast it away.

He stands in front of you, ready to continue the fight without any weapons. You growl as your heavy frame collides with him and you send him backwards onto the ground. You rear up, ready to pin the barely conscious Captain America but your ears perk up, alerting you to the electricity in the air. You quickly lower yourself to be on all fours and move away from him just before lightning strikes where you had been. Thor once more lands just behind you, Mjolnir spinning by the leather handle. He charges towards you and you run to meet him.

You rear up on your hind legs, narrowly avoiding being hit by Mjolnir as Thor releases it. Before it can return to him, you throw your weight forward and force him to the ground on his back causing him to miss catching it. It slams through a tree and buried itself into the ground in a hail of splinters. You loom over Thor, your paws pinning him to the dirt as you roar inches from his face.

He looks up at you then yells, "I yield! I yield."

You sit back immediately and the forest around you fades away. Stark white tiles replace the lush grass, the sun brightens into a row of LED lights on the high ceiling and the sound of birds is turned off. You look to your left and watch the rest of the team applaud and cheer your final test through the floor to ceiling glass wall.

Loki cheers the loudest as the replay of you slamming Thor into the ground is shown on a loop on one of the monitors. "That's how it feels!" he says excitedly, getting up from his seat. He laughs to himself and ignores the judgmental looks from Tony and Fury.

You walk over to Steve and nudge him lightly with your nose as he stands slowly. "I yield too," he says with a light laugh, rubbing the back of his head with one hand and the top of your head with his other hand. "Good job, Y/N," he smiles.

You lay down and rest near the rear of the training room, watching the team leave as they talk and laugh with each other. As soon as the door shuts and the room is empty, you close your eyes and with a deep breath you begin to focus on shifting to your human form. The process is extremely painful and you've been told it's hard to watch so you plan on sparing the others from witnessing it for as long as possible.

You lift your head, suddenly feeling as if someone is in the room with you but as your shift progresses, your senses are overwhelmed and hard to control. With a final roar of pain fading into a groan of agony, you kneel on the floor, fully human again and exhausted.

On shaky legs, you walk over to where you left your backpack and sit heavily on the floor, resting your back against the wall. You grab a bottle of water, drinking the whole thing at once then tear open your protein bar. Your ear twitches and you look up, the feeling of being watched returns. You catch a faint green mist settling near the door but you shake your head when you don't see anyone, assuming your simply exhausted and take a bite of your protein bar.

The next morning you sit between Loki and Steve on the jet, heading to your first mission. Your leg bounces nervously and you chew on your lip until Steve taps your shoulder and pulls you from your anxious thoughts.

"Try to relax," he says in a brotherly tone.

You nod but continue to bounce your leg which happens to be resting against Loki's.

"Will you please stop that," he Loki says few minutes later. You instantly stop moving your leg and make eye contact with the God of Mischief.

"Sorry," you mumble and look down quickly. You place your hands on your knees and take a deep breath to try and calm your nerves.

"Thank you," he says calmly as he lowers his eyes back to his book.

"Almost there," Natasha calls over her shoulder from the pilot's seat of the jet.

"Great, thanks Nat," Steve responds as he gets up. "You ready?" he asks, standing over you.

"Mmhmm," you nod. You force yourself to keep your eyes on Steve as you feel Loki's eyes fix on you.

"Are you going to..." Steve waves his hand vaguely at you.

"Shift?" you guess and he nods. "Uh... yea, I mean not right now though," you let out a nervous laugh. "Having a bear on a jet doesn't sound like a great idea right? I'll do it when we land."

"Makes sense," Steve agrees easily with a shrug and leaves you to take the copilot seat next to Natasha.

Loki leans towards you and in a hushed voice says, "Remember to stay calm, lille bjørn. You bested my brother and the captain. You will do well today."

You look up at him but his eyes have returned to his book. "Thanks," you tell him, feeling both stunned by his compliment and a bit more confident. He nods in response and you think you see a faint smile on his lips but he doesn't look up until Steve tells you both you will be landing in five minutes.

"We need to get to the computers they have in basement," Steve says as he catches his shield, spins and sends it flying down the hallway again.

Loki raises his hand and with a green glow, throws three Hydra soldiers into a wall, knocking them unconscious. "Y/N and I can hold them back while you and Widow retrieve the files," Loki offers as he sends two more soldiers flying towards you.

You roar in agreement as you turn your attention to the men Loki sent your way. You pin one to the ground and bite his shoulder before swiping the other across the chest with your claw.

"Sounds like a plan," Natasha says as she follows Steve to the door leading to the stairwell.

Loki creates two duplicates, each armed with daggers to block the path to the door. You turn then rear up on your hind legs and slam a soldier to the ground before he is able to take a shot at Loki.

"Nicely done, lille bjørn," he smiles before a duplicate throws a dagger at another Hydra soldier standing behind you.

Fifteen minutes later, Loki's radio crackles with static and he groans in annoyance as he tries to adjust it with one hand while sending a soldier into a wall with his other hand. "Repeat that captain," he says into the radio.

You lift your head to look towards Loki, your paws resting on the chest of the man pinned under you. More static comes through the radio and Loki looks at you with a shrug, his duplicates vanishing as the hallway seems to be empty. In an instant, you move off the soldier you have on the ground and charge towards Loki.

"What-" he tries to ask as you pass him, grabbing the soldier behind him by the neck and bringing him to the ground. You turn your head to look at Loki over your shoulder and he opens his mouth to speak but the radio crackles again.

"Loki-" Steve's voice can barely be heard over the static. "Run- detonated-"

"We can't understand you," Loki says, you can hear the concern in his voice as you walk towards him on all fours. You lift your head and sniff the air, drawing Loki's attention. "What's wrong Y/N?" he asks even though he's knows you can't answer him.

"You need to leave-" Steve's voice comes through clearer. "They detonated the self-destruction protocol! The stairwell is blocked-" the static returns. "Natasha and I-" he cuts out. "We're almost out but you need to leave!"

Your ears perk as a faint beeping grows steadily louder and you can no longer smell any approaching Hydra soldiers. You nudge Loki hard with your nose and force him to start moving, guiding him back the way you had entered the base. You can hear the count down clock but have no way of letting Loki know how little time is left. He runs next to you, relying on your sense of smell to track the multiple hallways you had followed to lead you this deep into the building.

You suddenly realize there isn't enough time for you to reach the exit, the building is going to come down around you both. You stop short in front of one of the containment labs and Loki nearly runs into you.

"Y/N, what are you doing?" he asks. You stand on your hind legs and push him into the room. He staggers backwards and catches his balance before he falls. "We need to-" you interrupt his words by slamming your paw into the control panel, causing the large metal door to slam shut.

A moment later the building shakes violently and you position yourself over Loki to protect him from falling debris. Alarms blare as the explosion rips through the base and you close your eyes. When you open them again, there is dust in the air and sparks fly from torn cables and wires in the ceiling. You quickly move yourself away from Loki and he looks at you in stunned silence.

Loki gets up, dusting himself off before he moves to the metal door. You slowly walk to a nearby wall and lay down on the ground to rest. He tries to open the door but between the broken control panel and the damage it sustained during the blast, it's no use. He sits next to you, his back against the wall as the radio sparks to life.

"You guys ok?!" Steve asks in a frantic voice.

"We are unharmed," Loki confirms then he looks at you. "Y/N found us somewhere to be protected from the blast but unfortunately we seem to be stuck."

You hang you head in exhaustion and listen to them talk.

"Nat called Tony and the rest of the team. They're on their way but it could be a few hours until we can get you out," Steve tells him. "Just hang tight."

Loki rolls his eyes and sets down the radio, keeping his eyes on you, he says, "Looks like we may be here a while."

You nod in agreement but barely move. You have never been in your bear form for this long before nor have you spent this long constantly fighting and running. You rest your head on your paws and close your eyes.

"Maybe you should become human again," he suggests. "Not that you are not wonderful company as a bear, but you are a bit easier to talk to when you can actually... well talk." He laughs lightly at the last part.

You lift your head to look at him but lower it again slowly. As much as you need to shift back to your human form, you are almost too tired to even think of the pain that awaits you. You know the longer you wait to shift, the worse the pain will be but you just want to sleep.

You finally give into him and push yourself up on all fours, walking away from him with your head hung low. He stays where he is, watching you closely. When you look over your shoulder he lowers his gaze to the floor but not before you see the concern in his eyes.

He is quiet for a moment and says, "I won't watch, if that is what is stopping you." You shake your head no and he sighs. "Do you not want to shift because of how torturous it seems?" You nod without looking at him, unsure how he figured it out when the rest of the team is still in the dark. "Y/N, you are clearly exhausted," he says, touching your fur gently. "You should shift back so you can rest. This form is taking a heavy toll on you."

You move as far from him as you can in the confined space. Closing your eyes, you begin to focus on your breathing, drawing in slow deep breaths as you start the excruciating process of shifting. Your bones feel as if they are breaking and splintering as they shrink to fit your smaller human form. Your muscles ache and cramp from overuse as your extraordinary strength fades away. A growl of pain escapes you as your joints crack and force your body into a more human-like position on your knees.

You curl up in a near fetal position as your body returns to its human form but your senses remain that of a bear. Covering your ears with your hands, you desperately try to block out the smallest sounds which are now amplified. The faint buzzing of the remaining overhead lights, the soft static of Loki's radio, the sparks from the frayed wires. Squeezing your eyes shut, you attempt to protect yourself from how bright the room suddenly seems even thought most of the lights are broken. The smell of smoke, sweat and blood fills your nose and you can do nothing to stop it. You cry out in pain, wishing it would end and all at once, it does.

You try to take a slow, deep breath and are surprised at how easily your lungs open to take in the air. Your heart rate slows and you push yourself into a seated position on the dust covered floor. The sounds and smells that overwhelmed you only seconds ago are gone and you immediately know why.

Loki kneels on the ground in front of you, his eyes locked on yours. A bright green glow emanates from his hands and surrounds you, easing your pain and calming your senses. "Is this helping?" he asks in a low voice and you nod, trying to hold back your tears.

"Why didn't you tell me or anyone else how excruciating this is for you?" he asks, his voice full of worry as he lowers his hands.

You answer quietly, "I can't." Loki is the first person you have allowed to see you shift in almost ten years and it makes you feel vulnerable. You try to stand, wanting to be alone but it's too soon after your shift and you lose your balance.

He catches you in his arms and helps you sit against the wall, your legs still shaking. He sets himself next to you and you lift your head as he waves his hand with another green flourish. "Eat, lille bjørn," he says gently as he hands you a protein bar and sets a bottle of water next to you.

You take a bite of the protein bar and realize it is the one you brought with you. Almost to yourself you say, "I left these on the jet."

"I took your bag," he says as your backpack appears next to him.

"Why?" you take another bite, too tired and hungry to be as annoyed as you want to be at the knowledge that he took your things.

He shifts, crossing his legs as he rubs his hands together, his eyes focused on them. "I knew you would need them. I saw you... in the gym after your final test," he admits and your heart plummets realizing what he saw.

"You saw me...?" you echo his words.

"I didn't mean to," he assures you quickly but it does little to ease your discomfort. You were embarrassed enough that he watched you shift when you knew he was here but for him to have seen you without you knowing was almost to much. He wipes away a tear as it runs down your cheek. "I'm sorry," he says but you don't respond. "I had forgotten something in the training room and when I saw you on the ground like that... I was afraid you were hurt in the fight, you seemed to be in so much pain."

"It wasn't from the fight," you say quietly but you know he already knows that.

"How can you continue to shift when it is so obviously painful for you?" he asks genuinely curious. You ignore his question and finish your bottle of water as he makes a second appear. "You should tell them how hard this is for you," he continues. "You know they would understand if you had to stop."

"No. I can't tell them," you argue quietly and he sighs. "I need to shift. It's hard to explain but... I have to prove that when I'm a bear I can protect my friends and keep the team safe. I have to show everyone that I'm not..." you pause and Loki shifts closer to you, his arm wraps around your shoulder as he gently pulls you towards him. "I need to prove I'm not a monster," you finish, looking down as you bring your knees to your chest.

"Who in this realm could possibly think someone as kind and protective as you could be anything close to a monster?" he asks, his voice laced with true shock. "And that is coming from someone who has quite a lot of experience with the term," he adds trying to ease the tension you feel.

You look up at him and he wipes away another tear. You close your eyes and rest your head against his chest for a moment while you gather your thoughts. He sits quietly, letting you take as much time as you need, his fingers slowly move up and down your arm.

Keeping your eyes closed, you lean into Loki's comforting touch and decide to tell him something you've only ever told one person almost 20 years ago. "The first time I shifted... I was ten," you tell him and he continues to hold you close as you open your eyes.

"My class went on a field trip to the zoo. I remember being so excited that morning," you tell him with a faint smile that fades as you continue. "We spent all day there... my mom even chaperoned," he shifts a bit so he can look at you curiously. "Sometimes parents would come to help the teacher keep track of all the students," you explain and he nods without a word.

"We got to the grizzly bear exhibit and..." you shake your head as the memories flood back. "I don't know how it happened, I didn't mean to but I somehow shifted. I remember pain, excruciating pain and then everyone was screaming. I tried to talk, to tell them it was just me but all I could do was growl. The other students in my class were terrified of me. Everyone was running from me, the students, the teacher, the other parents."

"What about your mother?" he asks.

"My mom..." you say slowly and Loki senses your hesitation. He waits patiently for you to continue, he places a gentle kiss on the top of your head and you look up at him, surprised by the gesture. He gives you a small smile but you can tell he seems worried about his question.

"My mom was so scared," you confirm his fears. "I tried to talk to her, I tried to ask her what was happening because I was scared too but it only came out as roars and growls. She kept moving away from me. I just wanted a hug..." you shake your head and begin to cry more freely. "I scratched her face with my claw when I reached for her then one of the zookeepers came running to... to protect her from me."

"Your mother left you there?" you can hear the anger in his voice.

Loki easily pulls you onto his lap and you turn your face so you can bury yourself against his chest. He rubs your back gently and you sit up after a moment, wiping your eyes. You look up at him and continue, needing to finish. "He shot me with a dart or something, I guess," you shrug. "I woke up a few hours later. It was dark outside and I was human again but I was trapped alone in a small cage. I screamed for I don't know how long but no one came."

You nod, "The next morning someone from Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters came to pick me up. I never saw my parents again after that. I swear never meant to hurt my mom or scare anyone... I was just so afraid and no one could understand me, no one wanted to help."

He hugs you close and you cling to him, "I'm so sorry my lille bjørn." He touches your cheek gently and lifts your head so you are looking at him. "I understand more than most your desire to not be seen as a monster but I want you to know I never saw you in that light. No one on the team could possibly think you are anything other than amazing and if they do, I will personally set them straight about the matter," he says and you feel a smile creep across your lips. He strokes your cheek and says, "I know it will be pointless to continue to plead with you to stop shifting..."

You nod in agreement and quickly sit up, "I can manage the pain. It only hurts for a little while I promise." He looks concerned still and you add, "Please don't tell the team."

"I know this is something you think you need to do," you nod again. "And I will not tell them under one condition," he says calmly. His fingers lift your chin so you are looking into his eyes. "You have to promise you will let me help you," he says.

"Like you did before?" you ask, referring to when he held back your pain after shifting.

You nods, "I can dull your pain and dampen your senses as you shift. You are too sweet and caring to experience something so horrific for simply trying to help others."

"My little bear," he says as his radio crackles and Steve announces the team will have you both out in half an hour.

You blush at his words but he doesn't let you hide your face as he asks, "Do we have a deal?"

"Its a deal," you laugh quietly.

He smiles and pulls you against his chest again, kissing your forehead lightly. You giggle and look up at him suddenly wishing he would kiss your lips. As if he heard your thoughts, his hand finds your cheek again and he gently brings his lips to yours. "My lille bjørn," he calls you as you rest with your arms around him.

"What does that mean?" you finally ask.

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dreamwritersworld · 1 year ago

Text

On the run (? X Reader)

* means it’s referring back to an old memory

During the past few weeks Y/n coudlnt held but stay silent to the Sully’s. She had so much time to think now, she sat and wondered a lot..

Would Neteyam be the one?…I have loved him my whole life

Their puppy love was the sweetest when they were younger

He didn’t fail to make Y/n smile and she didn’t fail to give him butterflies. Everyone could see that they liked each other, but Neteyam denied it..forever wanting to keep his feelings secret.

Neteyam knew what love was, how it looked..he saw it on his parents. It was the fact that it was Y/n, she was who had his heart. They grew up together, played together, trained together, occasionally slept by each others side, sharing warmth and comfort between their bed.

Having Y/n there during training put his mind at ease, because once it was over…

“Neteyam!”

“Y/n!”

They grabbed each others hands as they lifted each other off the floor running in a circle, laughing like children..

It wasn’t just that but when they slept beside each other Neteyam would graze his hand on her face as she did the same, smiling at each other…so in love.

Was all that just something she imagined?..Made more than what it was? How about all those times Neteyam treated her sweetly? All those times he was a gentleman..

The two sat in silence, listening to the sweet sound of the forest and their bodies relaxed, comfortable with just sitting next to each other.

Neteyam spoke first, he always did..his voice would only bring her out of her daze.

“So, when I was training I found this for you.”

he opened a bag and, pulled out gemstones that were so beautiful they were able to match Y/n’s eyes..

“..for you!”

Y/n accepted the gift, admiring it

“thank you, it’s beautiful..”

Around him, y/n spoke softly and calmly. It didn’t take long for Neteyam to smile shyly looking down.

Y/n embedded those gemstones into her hair, she still has them.

…and then everything went crashing down

They had walked into his home, seeing both their parents seated..staring in silence.

“Ah Y/n! Neteyam! Just who we’re talking about!”

Neteyam and Y/n’s hand remained on top of each other, both were confused and scared for their next words

Their parents had dragged the conversation on for awhile..until they finally said it.

“…you too will be promised to each other.”

Y/n gripped Neteyam’s hand until he tugged on her hand to let go. That’s when her heart began to shatter..was he not happy? Of course this was sudden, but at least she wasn’t fully uncomfortable with the situation..

“What? You can’t do this father.”

“We have to Neteyam, you have no other women beside you to be a leader to this clan. You have no one worthy of this position besides Y/n, she is best for the future. You two spend quite some time together.”

“Yes! Because she’s Y/n dad. We’ve known each other since we were children-“

Y/n’s father made an abrupt interruption to Neteyam’s statement

“That Makes this relationship between you two even better. There is no discussion about this Neteyam. Y/n is yours.”

Those final words rang in Y/n’s head, louder than ever…it felt as though she was drowning. Her entire life, body and soul would be Neteyam’s and he wouldn’t be able to be satisfied.

Neteyam gave one last look to Y/n before walking away , Y/n followed.

“Neteyam! Neteyam! Please stop!”

“What?!”

“We can make this work Neteyam, I understand that this isn’t what you want-“

“Of course this isn’t Y/n! I wanted to choose my mate, this is my life.”

“And this is mine. I respect that but..just please Neteyam we have no choice, we can make the best of it-“

“Really? The way I see it, is that there’s no way out, what more does this deal have to offer?”

“A chance to connect on a deeper level Neteyam…I know you, I’ve known you for all my life..Neteyam I-“

“You what? You love me? You can’t say that when we literally just got set up to be mated? We’re already promised with no choice, it makes no sense to admit feelings right now Y/n.”

“Neteyam..”

It was the cracks in Y/n’s voice that hurt Neteyam, but he couldn’t help it..it was how he felt. Maybe his feelings for Y/n weren’t real, they were just surface level emotions that never seemed to leave …but how could he ever explain to her the way he felt? Y/n was everything to him and now their relationship would go down the drain, everyone was rushing them to be together and Y/n needed someone ready and stable to protect her. Neteyam felt he couldn’t fufill that need, he wasn’t ready to be committed to her…he had his own plans and his own timeline for them.

…did all the running we did mean nothing?

“I just want to leave, get away from all the training and find my own way.”

“If you go Neteyam…I will too. We can go on the run”

The pair smiled to each other shyly. Weather Neteyam realized it or not Y/n’s way of showing love to him was everything.

acts of service

Words of Affirmation

Physical touch

Y/n had it all and she was able to grant it to whoever won her heart, Neteyam had all her love.

Their love was sweet..

He won’t play, he’s no fun…

Tuk was dragging my arm urging Y/n to play with her, so she did

The young girls laughed as they chased each other, neteyam watched from afar.

He wanted so desperately to join but he feared that Y/n wouldn’t be ok with it, not after everything that was said and done. He never was one to show deep emotions so he never did, he never let go of his sadness. That certain emotion is one he kept hidden, especially when he watched his relationship with Y/n fall apart. Neteyam’s stares caught Tuk’s eye, as she ran to him grabbing his hand to play with them.

“Cmon Neteyam! Play with us!”

“No Tuk. I have to get back to work.”

Y/n watched Neteyam walk away, it hurt that he disassociated himself with everything. neteyam used to be the man who would give up whatever he was doing to spend his time with his little sister and …with Y/n.

Y/n’s thought came to an abrupt end, Lo’ak urged Y/n to pay attention and hurry off to training with them, saying “Tsireya would want us there bright and early!”

On the outside of it all Neteyam and Y/n seemed somewhat normal, they kept their problems in their relationship hidden once they got promised. They seemed as though they had a perfect love story. However, if you focus on their flaw you’ll notice all the cracks ready to burst in the relationship.

Neteyam rushed to Y/n’s side, both of them standing tall and confident side by side. It was as though they were a power couple, never to be broken..

“Hello guys! We’re going to do diving training today!”

Tsireya yelled louder than ever, excitement within her voice as the group smiles at her warm welcoming. Ao’nung however couldn’t keep his eyes off of Y/n, he hated it. She was the most breathtaking navi he’d ever seen and yet he hates that newcomers have came to his home…not her though, she was a gift.

Tsireya was going to group everyone with specific partners until Ao’nung signed to her to let him go with Y/n, he made up an excuse to go along with it of course; gullible Tsireya believed it.

“…and Y/n you’re with Ao’nung!”

Y/n’s body unintentionally reacted to this, her ears went up when she heard his name and her tail swayed side to side under the water; Neteyam was furious. It had been a few weeks and it somehow always ended up with Y/n and Ao’nung being partnered. The entire time the pair interacted, he watched and it bothered him that he couldn’t even hear them.

“I’ll put the shells at the deepest part of the sea and you can dive down to take them ok?”

“Ok! This is going to be easy!”

“We’ll see”

The pair exchanged challenging smiles, Ao’nung diving down to place the shells. Y/n didn’t even wait for him to say go, she just dived right in..

Y/n was under the water swimming for what felt like hours, but that could’ve just been because Ao’nung missed her sweet face. When she finally rose she had more than the shells she was tasked with..

“Wha-what is that? I thought i told you to get-“

“Just the ones you put out, I knowwww. But i found this..”

Ao’nung dazed off, admiring Y/n’s face, he was pulled out of it when Y/n motioned him to take the most beautiful gems he’d seen. All he could think was how Y/n was able to connect with the ocean and bring the most beautiful things to the surface with her…

“For you! For teaching my family your ways!”

“I-i don’t need that-“

“I insist!”

He grabbed the gems with a shy smile, attempting to keep his cool. It bothered him that she said “my family” as if he hadn’t noticed how distant she was with her own promised mate. Ao’nung hated the idea of her being stuck with him, he didn’t even appreciate her the way she deserved..

“..thank you..so i was thinking about instead of you know? Being with your family for dinner, you’d come to our home, you and Lo’ak..considerate as a peace offering.”

The words slipped right out of Ao’nungs mouth without a thought, he gave a cold shoulder to any of the Sully’s but Y/n consistently held his heart captive.

“Just a peace offering?..ok, that sounds great! Would the others be able to come or exclusively me and lo-“

“Yes just you and Lo’ak…you know since we’re the closest to you two”

“Oh of course!”

Y/n smiled, turning away so he wouldn’t noticed her excitement. The two sat and discussed about everything and anything for what felt like hours, Y/n even got to know more of two of Aonung’s greatest friends. However when she walked home she couldn’t help but feel sick to her stomach, she was happy. In the longest, for the first time ever she was excited and blushing, oblivious to the conversation happening while she was gone..

“She’s nice and whatever but something tells me she’s more than just a friend-“ (Roxto)

“More than a friend? Please their already mated with that way their speaking.” (friend 1)

“No-“ (Ao’nung)

“Don’t deny it Ao’nung! You just can’t help it and that’s fine man. I see the way you talk to her when we’re training, the way you look at her” (Roxto)

“We aren’t anything. She has a promised mate-“

“What?!” (Friend 1)

“Shh! I don’t think their too open about it, Neteyam isn’t what she needs. I mean he can barley make an effort to show her off.”

“Ah but it doesn’t mean anything Ao’nung..you know that right?” (Roxto)

“What do you mean? She probably just loves him in private she wouldn’t just-“

“Dude I’ve heard Kiri tell Tsireya about it. Kiri says their relationship was good when they were younger but for some reason once they were promised it fell apart-“ (Roxto)

“No, cmon Ao’nung don’t listen to Roxto . Just enjoy her from afar, she’s promised-“ (friend 1)

“Well..maybe your right-“ (Ao’nung)

“No?! he isn’t. Neteyam’s own mother did the same thing when she was young. She was promised and mated with a demon blood. If she can do it, Y/n can too!” (Roxto)

“That’s different, Neytiri did that on her own terms , she wouldn’t want Y/n to do that to her son-“ (Ao’nung)

“Like you said, “Neteyam isn’t what she needs” so maybe..? Just maybe, Y/n will recognize that.” (Roxto)

“Your insane man, she won’t have an affair-“ (friend 1)

“They aren’t mated yet!” (Ao’nung)

Aonung sighed as he laying on the same with his back as he smiled to Roxto and his friends encouragements of just how much Y/n was happy with him

“She smiled brighter than ever Ao’nung!”

…the picture perfect life with Y/n was installed into Aonung’s head…

That night while Y/n laid in her bed smiling, fear began to seek from under her. Neteyam’s hand rested on her hip as she thought about another man, it had been so long since she felt excitement..yet she felt guilty.

-💕-

Hope you enjoyed love!

@jackiehollanderr @itsemy01

#angst #jake sully x reader #neteyam x reader #neteyam sully #sully family x daughter reader #spotify #soundcloud #avatar loak #avatar the way of water

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namfinessed · 1 year ago

Text

in you, i lay - k.sj.

summary: one night was all you needed to come back to him or a story in which love grows where seokjin goes, and you can’t help but follow.

genre: fluff (7.8k)

note: i have my exams soon, so i’ll get back to writing as soon as they are over, i wanted to give you all a little something before that so, i hope, with all my heart, that you guys enjoy this <3

masterlist

three years ago, your trip to berlin changed the entire trajectory of your life.

one day, your life was all black and white and then it burst into so many colors that you couldn’t quite grasp how quickly it changed to look so beautiful.

which is why you decided to come back to berlin. more successful, happy, and filled with life than you have ever been, you came back to live your bright past for one last time and move on to bigger things.

you look out the window as the cab breezes past the beach that held more memories than 23 years of your life, a smile unconsciously grows on your face as you think back on how different just 3 years of your life were.

you wonder how he is.

you never stopped wondering how he is.

the envelope holding your promotion was sat tightly in your hands, you knew he would be happy, ecstatic even, you just knew he would pick you up and spin you around. out of everyone in your life, you felt like he, of all people, would understand just how much this promotion meant to you.

“take a right or left from here, ma’am?” the cab driver’s voice breaks your train of thoughts. “right, you know this applefarm café which is around here? drop me off there.” you sit back and a giddy smile dances on your face, you wonder if you will run into him just like you did all those years ago or if you will have to call and find out.

you did worry at the beginning that maybe he would forget you, but every nerve in your body forced itself to implant him in your memory forever and you knew that he would do the same.

at applefarm café, you took a seat right near the entrance, it was exactly the spot where you had brunch with him after a night full of conversations that were embedded in you and your heart swelled when you saw the same elderly waitress, who served you all those years ago, heading towards you.

“what can i get for you today, ma’am?” she obviously didn’t remember you, but you couldn’t help but let a large grin split at her sight.

“a peach milkshake and chocolate tart please” it’s a miracle that you’ve managed to remember his order after all these years but every single second you spent with him is all your mind revolves around anymore, especially when you’re so close yet still far from him.

~2019~

you don’t know how your friends convinced you to come on this last-minute trip to berlin but here you were, not hating every second but still totally uncomfortable with how unprepared you were for this trip.

you were, to put it in a nice way, a total control freak.

you didn’t like going anywhere that wasn’t already dated in your planner, last-minute plans made you sweat like a wolf in heat, and it annoyed you to your very core when someone canceled plans that you had already made a schedule around.

even right now, as your friends happily pre-gamed before crashing a party, you were anxiously jotting down things you can do in berlin for the rest of your time there. your closest friend, jennie looks over and groans when she catches sight of the planner in your hands and immediately walks over to snatch it from you.

“seriously, what the fuck?” you yell after her as she locks the planner in the hotel room-provided vault. “i thought we all agreed on going spontaneous for this trip” she crosses her arms across her chest as she stares at you accusingly. “yes, all of you agreed but not me, we still haven’t done any tourist stuff and we leave tomorrow.” you desperately try to explain your friends, who through their fondness for your love for organizing, are shaking their heads at you.

“i have reached my limit of spontaneity, give me a break” you groan as you fall back on the bed, you don’t understand why you just can’t relax and let things be, you have always had a hard time with letting go or having fun, always too cautious and way too strung up to even think of doing something rebellious.

“listen, i know this is hard for you but for this one last night, just trust us.” lisa pats your thigh as she sits down beside you, trying not to grin at your obvious misery. “do i have a choice to do anything but that?” you can’t help but ask even if you know the answer and they all collectively smirk at you because they know that you know it too.

so, five hours later, when you’re sitting at your table in a club that you’re sure is way too small to fit the number of people in it, you are not the least bit surprised. your friends are swaying next to you, to the music and you’re all cheering before shots but you don’t feel all excited.

sure, you are happy, you love your friends but there is something missing in the air of the night.

maybe your drinks aren’t strong enough, maybe you are too in your head (yet again) to fully come out of your shell, maybe these lights are starting to make you feel dizzy, you don’t know.

but your attention is quickly taken away by the faint sound of a guitar strumming, and as you start to register the sound, you see everyone hurriedly walking over to the beach at the back of the place, all of them bubbling with excitement.

you watch as people keep shuffling towards the beach with loud chatter and you tilt your head at the commotion, wondering what could possibly have these people so flushed with anticipation.

and you don’t know why but your gut pulls you towards the back as well.

you have always been curious, about everything you come across, you need to everything that’s going on around you, and a large group of people migrating so suddenly, had your feet moving as quickly as they could towards them.

you look around confusedly at everyone gathered around a stage, quickly learning that a performance was set to take place, and also that there were no places left to sit so you dumbly hover by the door leading to the back, concluding that some hinge support was better than standing around in the loose sand for however long the performance was supposed to last.

then, over the gentle crashing of the waves to the shore, you hear it again, the faint guitar strumming but it’s not as faint anymore.

and it was coming from the right of you.

your head snaps to see the silhouette of a man tuning his guitar, and you automatically hold your breath as your eyes involuntarily lock on his figure.

you watched in wonder as the moon seemed to engulf him in cosmic light, you could see his high nose from where you were standing, you could see his hair with a few strands out of place, and you could see the loose shape of a t-shirt hanging off his tall and lean body, but you don’t know what exactly about him made every action in your body pause.

your eyes involuntarily follow him as he is joined by a few more people and all of them head onto the make-shift stage. loud cheers fill the previous silence but you don’t hear any of it, you don’t even hear your own heart beating out of your chest, you don’t see the hoards of people around you because your eyes still refuse to look away from him.

and when the honey-shaded light falls on him, you release the breath you didn’t know you were holding as your body shivers both in dread and delight, which you would later blame the cold weather for.

because nothing in the world could’ve prepared you for the sight that was that man.

you have seen good-looking people in your life, for heavens’ sake, you have some of the most attractive people you know as your friends but no one has quite invaded every one of your senses so quickly, as this man did.

and you are not sure how exactly you are supposed to feel about that.

from the cloud in your mind, you make out that they were introducing themselves but you don’t really understand what they’re saying. they start a song, you can see him singing, you can see his charming eyes hyping up the crowd from where you stood, you can see how the crowd is totally captivated by the dude with the guitar but you don’t know what they’re singing, you are not listening to a word they are pouring their heart into.

and you feel dirty, that you can’t take your eyes off him, you try to think of how if you were in his place, you wouldn’t want someone to stare at you like they haven’t seen another being in their life.

but then again, he wasn’t just any other being, he was literally the most beautiful being you have laid eyes on.

after forcing yourself to snap out of whatever mild haze that trapped your senses, you look around once again to see everyone enveloping the person next to them as they sway to the voice of the guy and the waves moved more soundly as if to accommodate the delicate ambiance that evening.

“maybe i’ll just never know, maybe i’ll just never hold you anymore but i can say i tried, i can say i fought for you, over the tallest hill in the world, i can yell that i loved you as much as i could, can you say the same?”

his angelic voice rings through the crowd, the lights falling even more delicately on him as he raises his gaze to meet the loved-up couples, and instead ends up meeting your eyes which haven’t been able to look away from him.

you turn your head with cheeks feeling hot as lava as you internally cringe at yourself.

what the fuck are you doing?

what has come over you?

sure, he is attractive but why are you acting as if you have never seen another man?

you sheepishly pat your cheeks before making a quick decision to leave as soon as you can, you can’t afford to make yourself look like even more of a fool than you already have.

but you risk it anyway, you tilt your head slightly to see if he’s gone back to what he was doing, you just wanted one last look at him before you left for good, you needed something to burn this into your memory.

so, imagine what happens when he gives you just what you need to never forget him again.

he was looking right at you, refusing to turn away even after you’ve clearly caught him and he continues singing while keeping his eyes on your every movement.

“but i can say i tried, i can say i gave it my all, i can say i used the last breath in me to breath life into you, can you?”

his lovely voice overshadows the bleak lyrics and you can feel your heartbeat all the way down to your toes.

and that’s when you leave.

you don’t notice the way his hands tighten around his guitar as you turn away.

when you go back in, you immediately collapse near the bar and your dress rides up your thighs as you slump forward on the counter and breathe out a long sigh. you can’t believe your body really gave up on you because one guy looked at you, and frankly, you are very much disappointed in your lack of self-control.

but he was looking at you too.

he refused to stop looking at you, even after you obviously caught him.

and that brought back the heat in your cheeks.

you feel ridiculous and embarrassed at your lack of composure, you don’t even think you have looked at any of the romantic partners in your life that way.

you shake your head at yourself, it was one thing to embarrass yourself, it was another thing to embarrass yourself in a foreign country, and you are so busy beating yourself up, you don’t see the person taking a seat next to you.

“whenever you are done talking to yourself, can i have a turn?” you hear the smoothest voice from beside you and you jump in surprise, not expecting another person to have joined you. in a panic, your eyes hurriedly meet theirs, and your breath is taken away all the same when you see who it is.

he’s still got his guitar resting on his shoulder, his hair is still fashionably out of place, his nose is still high from up close, his shirt hangs off his frame just the same but his face, his face was otherworldly this close.

and you have been talking to yourself like a mad person when he was right next to you.

how charming.

“what are you doing here?” the question tumbles out of your mouth before you can catch it and he quirks an eyebrow at you, an amused smile now gracing his features, you are sure he is smiling because of how wide your eyes have gotten. “if you are interested, i am here for you and if you are not, well, i’m here for this.” he picks up the glass collecting condensation on the counter and picks it up.

of course, with a gorgeous face like his, he is also a smooth talker.

“weren’t you just performing up there?” you try to ask with a clear voice but an audible gulp in the middle of the sentence gives away your nervousness. “i’m done, for today at least” he shrugs and you ignore the fact that his eyes never leave your face as he waits for you to speak.

if he noticed how nervous you are (which you frankly doubt he didn’t, cause you were being obvious with your fidgeting), he didn’t point it out which you felt grateful for.

“you’ve got a lovely voice” you tell him honestly, shifting in your seat to face him better, you did find his voice to be one of the sweetest you have ever heard. his voice held a different depth, now when he was speaking, that you are not sure you comprehend yet. “not lovely enough to make you stay till the end?” you want to run away again as he casually brings up how you ran away in embarrassment when your eyes met his.

“that was not the reason i left” you mumble as you lift your glass to take a large gulp and when you look back at him, he is smiling. he feels good, he feels damn good that someone as pretty as you, are losing your words over him. but he wasn’t doing any better, his heart was pounding in his ears with every word he spoke, and he still can’t believe he mustered up the courage to follow you in.

he hasn’t felt his heart leap so simply and so boundlessly, in a long time. he’s not even sure he’s ever felt this way before.

his pull to you felt magnetic, he didn’t understand why he felt the need to talk to you but he did, and he couldn’t ignore his feelings or understand them if he was being honest, so he was going to do everything he can to understand why you stood out to him in a room with 50 other people.

so he found himself, hurriedly running off the stage after his performance to find you again.

and now that he was this close to you, he understood his racing heart a little but that just left him wanting to know everything about you.

“my name is seokjin, and if you allow me, i would like to take you back there” he stands up, putting his hand out for you to take and your stomach tightens in the pure rush that simple line made you feel. seokjin’s hand trembled in the air, out of sheer nervousness that you were going to say no and turn away, he wished you didn’t notice.

“seokjin” you repeat in a quiet tone, you loved his name already, something about his name fit his face perfectly and you realize that while you were thinking of his name, your hand already reached to place it in his.

and his heart leaps again, he lets out a breath of relief as an easy smile takes over his face.

he gleefully tightens his hand around yours and pulls you to stand with him, that’s when you realize you didn’t even ask him why you were going back. and you can’t bring yourself to care, your entire body is flushed from his hand, you are sure your cheeks are as red as they come and your gaze decides to admire his broad back as he guides the both of you through the crowd.

this isn’t like you, this isn’t like you at all.

you never just talk to strangers, you don’t hold their hands, you don’t get this nervous around a person even if you are a shy person but your mind seemed to tumble on itself since you’ve seen him.

once you are out in the open air, your hot skin raises in goosebumps from how cold the weather had gotten and a slow, sweet song was playing. you could see that people were swaying their bodies with each other and it looked like the setting couldn’t have been more intimate, even with the full room.

you suck in a breath when seokjin turns around to look at you, your hand fell limply to your side as he left, and now, you could truly feel how bone-chilling it was.

“only if you want to, can i have this dance with you?” the way he asks in reassuring, laced with choice for you, it mattered to him more than anything, that you are okay with this and when you smile at him shyly, he swears his heart bursts into a million colors. “let’s go” this time, you envelop your hand around his and drag him with you where you can both dance without bumping into people.

you are still confused; you are still so new to all of this but you couldn’t deny how good it felt to be around him.

in a partly secluded corner, you remove your hand from his and wait for him to make the move which he doesn’t take too long to do.

within seconds, he hesitantly places an arm on the side of your waist and you step closer, feeling your breath waver already. he lets his eyes stay on your face as his other hand starts tracing where your arm begins to end by lacing your fingers with his and the entire time, he kept looking for any signs of discomfort in your face and lets out a breath of relief when he doesn’t see any.

“is this, okay?” he mutters, his voice lowering several more octaves and the room felt tight around you, like there was no space to move if it wasn’t in his arms and you found yourself wanting to erase any distance between you two. “more than okay” you mumble back and he bites his lip to hold back his huge smile at your response.

then, he took the confidence he got from the small smile on your face and tightened his hold on you as he started swaying the both of you to the music. and frankly, you didn’t care a bit about the song being played, maybe it was because of the way the same honey-light fell on him as he moved you two, maybe it was because you have never felt so breathless yet so full of life at once but you felt comfortable, comfortable enough to not question how you felt right in that moment.

he made small talk as he twirled you around, seokjin kept leaning in to make sure you knew that you had every bit of his attention and with every question you asked him, he answered with enthusiasm and humor which had your cheeks hurting from smiling so big.

for the first time in a very long time, you weren’t fidgeting to run around to get to the next thing you were supposed to do, you weren’t mentally counting down the minutes you needed to move on, because, somewhere in the middle of him dipping you dramatically to make you laugh to the way his touch left your skin burning; for those few moments, no other place in the world seemed more important.

seokjin’s very presence made you feel calmer than any years of therapy did and you weren’t sure what you were supposed to do with that information.

“aren’t you going to ask me for my name?” you remind him halfway through the third song and he laughs breathily, sucking in a breath before offering the widest smile to you, which made you instantly smile back even more. “i can’t believe i forgot to ask you that, please excuse my lack of manners. so, what is your name?” he asks, polite as ever, and you immediately tell him.

and just like you, seokjin finds your name to be perfect for your face.

“so, tell me y/n, what brings you here to this place?” his curiosity about you was eating him alive but thankfully, you were more than to humor him. “they have the cheapest vodka around here, at least that’s what it said on yelp” you answer honestly and jin lets out a snort at that. “alcohol shouldn’t be as expensive as it is” he shakes his head in a sort of agreement with you. “exactly like it’s my senses that are being deprived, why am i paying with half my kidney for that?” you complain with furrowed eyebrows and jin coos at the sight, he loves to hear you whine, he loves it way too much.

he keeps asking you questions, about what brought you to berlin, what you liked so far, and who you came here with and you felt yourself melting even more into him as you answer him.

“why did you start performing here?” you ask this time and giggle when he spins you around suddenly to place your back against his chest, both his arms still tightly wound around you as he looks down at you.

he barely knows you but seokjin is willing to bet that he’s going to remember this night forever because no one ever asked him about his purpose for performing.

"well, as you’ve said, i have a lovely voice, i thought why let it go to waste, you know?” you let out a small laugh at the confidence and silliness in his tone but quickly tilt your head as if it to ask him to answer seriously.

at the curious look in your eyes and the light hitting you just right, seokjin feels his senses drain from his body because suddenly, all his eyes can see, all his mind can register, is how close your lips are to his. and you notice his eyes fixating on your lips and your breath hitches. seokjin starts leaning in, his breath hitting your face in a warm wave and you stiffen in pure anticipation of what would come.

but then he shakes his head, leaning back with an uneasy chuckle.

“not now, not like this” you raise your eyebrows as you try to snap out of your own daze. “what do you mean?” you mumble, not doing a good job at hiding your disappointment and he panics, because the last thing he wants is for you to misunderstand him pulling back. “don’t get me wrong, trust me when i say i want to do nothing more than to kiss this night away with you but i want to do it right, i want to do it when both of us can’t think of anything else” as he utters those words, your heart pauses.

then beats.

then pauses again.

before beating louder than any rock music on the planet.

were you always capable of feeling this way?

“then, can i do something?” instead of answering you, he turns you back so you were chest to chest now. “you can do anything you want with me” he whispers back his answer with a dopey grin on his face and your chest tightens in the best way possible as you reach up to leave a light kiss on his cheek.

you are more than pleased to see his face turn red as he tries to hide his blushing face in your shoulders. “can we please get out of here? if you don’t have anything planned, i want to show you so much” he mumbles onto your shoulder and you don’t think twice before nodding.

it wasn’t your smartest moment, you were going to admit to that, jetting off with a stranger in a foreign country in the middle of the night, is never the smart choice but you also couldn’t let this night end here.

you wait at the entrance of the pub with flickering lights, pulling your shawl closer to your body after you waved your friends’ goodbye, needless to say, they were surprised by your impulsive decision but after making sure you had a way to reach them if things went south, they left with giggles about how berlin’s air changed you.

“why are you even going with him?” they had asked and were pleasantly surprised when you replied with “i don’t know” and a happy shrug, you were free of any riddling anxiety in your body at that moment. and your friends were glad to see it.

“should we?” seokjin walks out and your jaw drops because of how different he looked with just an outfit change. his loose, dark-colored t-shirt, torn jeans and chains replaced with a well-fitting cream-colored shirt tucked into beige pants and a blazer thrown over his arm. even his hair looked different, now neatly styled and tucked back.

“too much of a contrast, isn’t it? unfortunately, this is how i usually dress, pretty bland colors and all.” he laughs as he sees your face and you immediately shake your head, ��it’s fine, it’s nice” it’s very nice and i might be drooling a little, might have been the more accurate response there. he stares at you for a few seconds, doing his best to hide the smirk growing on his face.

eventually, he shakes his head with a huge grin, reaching out to take your hand in his, he was no longer hesitant because if seokjin went by the way you looked at him, you wanted him just as much as he did.

your room wasn’t the best, it restricted your view of the prettiest city you’ve had the pleasure of knowing but you didn’t want to waste money on a room you were barely going to spend time in. falling on the bed, your mind goes back to seokjin, as if it ever stopped thinking of him. your smile grew and grew as you recounted everything that happened the night you met him, you can’t believe it was actually you who took off with a stranger.

but it was the best decision you made in your life.

not much has changed now though, you are still extremely strict with your plans and time but you allow yourself to let go when it feels right. you were grateful that you still had that strong work ethic in you because that rewarded itself in the form of a promotion you have waited forever for.

you get up to look out the window, your eyes set on the same pub that let you fall in love all those years and you immediately run to the bathroom to start getting ready.

you couldn’t wait any longer to see him and for someone who hated waiting the most, he truly put you up to the ultimate test.

your hand unconsciously reaches to the chain hanging off your neck, you just hoped he thought of you just as much.

~2019~

“so, why do you perform? you never ended up telling me” you pause from the breathless laughter you both have been tumbling in since you sat down near a stall owned by jin’s friend. ‘they have the best bingsu i’ve had in my life’ is what he said after learning that you enjoy sweet things.

“i told you, lovely voice and all” he quirked an eyebrow and you fight the grin on your face as you tried to glare at him. “okay okay, i’ll tell you” he gives in, moving closer to you on the long bench as the cold wind kept hitting both your faces.

you also moved closer, adjusting his jacket on your shoulder and seokjin fought the urge to hold you even closer, he didn’t like even the tiny bit of space left between you two.

“it’s not my actual job, performing at the pub. i am actually an accounting manager, but i was sent by the company to berlin, and they are based in seoul, which is also where i grew up.” he explains and it took you by surprise that this isn’t what he did for a living, he really looked like he was made to be on the stage. “i came here around 4 years ago, so not too long ago but long enough to know where the best food is, where the pretty places are, where the vodka is cheapest” he trails off with a teasing smile to you, and you giggle in response.

“i am holding onto you for the cheap vodka thing, you need to take me there” you say, tilting your head at him with a huge grin on your face and seokjin’s entire face softens at your smile. “consider it done.” and he doesn’t know what prompts him but he leans over to brush his nose with yours and you don’t back away, and instead nuzzle into his touch.

this was nice, this was way too nice.

then he continued, “when i came here, i didn’t know anyone, i was too shy to talk to people at work and i felt extremely homesick, the only thing that kept me sane then was cooking myself korean food from time to time. i was working like a machine, with no real motive or passion for anything, just a repeated cycle. but then, i met these guys, and somehow, ended up in a band with them. we perform only on some days, whenever all of us are free and i didn’t even know i would be happy singing in front of people, but i am, unbelievably so.” his voice was sad when he was talking about home but as soon as mentioned his friends, his voice became louder, more filled with pride and you didn’t need him to tell you that he thought the world of these friends.

he looked over at you and your eyes were slightly glazed over because you can’t imagine missing home, you can’t imagine not knowing anyone in a huge city like this, you would simply not be able to go through with something similar to what seokjin did, and your admiration grew with every word he spoke.

seokjin, on the other hand, can’t remember a time when he opened up so easily and deeply to someone.

“i am glad you performed today” you say, with warm cheeks and not really looking at him. one side of his mouth lifts up at your words, and he nods, “i am glad i did too.”

“so, what do you do? what unwillingly gets you out of bed every day?” he throws the question to you and you sit up straight, the thought of your work immediately alerting your senses.

“i am working at a start-up, we are trying to make a platform for people of color to express themselves on various attributes like their workplace and the micro-aggressions they face there, or their family’s immigration, how it feels to have to live in a place where the language and culture aren’t yours and how they deal with it. the idea is to express all this through different media outlets like videos, or a series of articles, or artwork.” you explain and seokjin sits in wonder at how smart you are, he expected you to be doing something like that, he didn’t know why but he just had a feeling that someone like you was just brimming with ideas.

but he does notice that your eyes don’t light up like his when he talks about performing.

“but you don’t like it?” you nod and then pause before shaking your head at this.

“the objective is great, the whole reason i joined was because i didn’t want people who looked like me, who sounded like me, to feel alone. i wanted to give them a safe place, a voice, something that was only theirs, something i wish i had when i started out.” you bite your lip because talking about your job makes you sad.

“i want to do so much but you know who’s the head managing all of these activities? a white person, a white person with privilege. he’s never had to fight for his voice. he’s straight, he’s white, he plays golf on the weekends, he has kids comfortably going to private schools and he has a trophy wife. he doesn’t understand these stories, he throws every single one that comes our way and refuses to hear out the already silenced people, always asking for something ‘spicy’ instead of the truth, he just wants a dramatic story to publicize. i just can’t stand working for someone like him, someone who refuses to see the entire reason for our establishment but i can’t give up now, not after i promised to myself that i will make it better for others.”

seokjin hears the determination in your voice, he understands the frustration more than anyone else which is he remains in thoughtful silence before he notices something else in your eyes.

a burning passion to destroy whomever this man was.

“you’re going to do something about him, aren’t you?” he smirks at you and your angry glare melts. “i am going to work till i’m seating in his chair and making decisions that he should be making right now, i’m going to make sure that whatever i do, it will be meaningful. i’m getting that promotion someday” seokjin feels his heart burst with pride, he might not know you all that well, but he knows how much this means to you and that you will do it.

“when you do it, you come and tell me all about it, yeah?” he bumps his shoulder with yours playfully.

it’s the way he says it, like he believes you will do it somehow and that fills you with renewed hope for your future.

“deal.” you whisper, bumping him back. you both sit like that, the night feeling longer than it was supposed to be, but you were all the more grateful for it. then, seokjin gets up, dusting his pants off before extending his hand towards you, and it’s instinct to put your hand in his now.

“come on, i want to show you so much more” and then you’re being dragged away to the next place jin wants to take you to.

that’s how you spend the night, hand in his, and exploring every small corner of berlin that they don’t mention in travel packages, you saw berlin through seokjin’s eyes, and those few hours of drifting away with the cold wind, filled your heart with a feather-like feeling, a feeling of being able to float into the sky if it weren’t for seokjin’s hand anchoring you to the ground.

there wasn’t anywhere or anyone else you wanted to spend that time with.

“you should go now” you whisper with your forehead against his, right outside your hotel, not really wanting to leave or him to leave. it was getting late or early to be more precise; the sun was threatening to peek through, the sky being filled with the faintest shades of orange and blue as you and seokjin stood under, hands refusing to leave the other.

“is that why you’re squeezing the life out of my hands right now?” your giggles escape into the space between you two, “but seriously, it’s too late already.” even as you say it, you don’t move an inch and he doesn’t either.

“i’m going to sound crazy” he starts and your ears perk up immediately, “come to my home, i promise i make a mean hot pot, we can do whatever you want to do.” it should scare you, a stranger inviting you to their home, should definitely trigger some fight or flight response in you, but you don’t feel any of your usual anxiousness, you just feel him and the strong urge to follow wherever he goes.

“i understand if you don’t feel comfortable, i totally get it so don’t feel obliged, but if you do agree, i’ve got a gift for you.” one of seokjin’s eyebrows draws up at the last words, and your curiosity bursts through you, any lingering hesitance immediately left your body.

“my answer” you trail off, stepping back, seokjin’s hands fall away from yours and he thinks this is where your magical night ends, this is the night he will spend weeks daydreaming about, the night that will keep him up forever.

he will spend many days just weaving through the possibilities of what you could be, of what you could’ve been.

you keep him waiting, dwelling in the satisfaction that his nervous face brought.

“depends on your gift.” you give him a coy smile and he lets out an airy laugh, “you had me really scared there, for a second.” he shakes his head at you and you fight your smile from growing bigger, “i know.”

and before you say something else to drop his heart to his ass, seokjin pulls out a chunky, tourist necklace with a laugh threatening to break from his throat. the necklace has a huge locket, with the words ‘berlin’ sprawled on it in vivd, neon colors.

it looks ugly.

he knows it looks ugly.

“i think i’ll just head inside” you playfully turn around on your heel and attempt to walk away, you count down the seconds it takes him to put you back in his arms.

one.

two.

three.

he lasted three seconds.

a record for the night truly.

seokjin’s arms immediately pulled you back to him and as you pretended to struggle against his grip, the ugly necklace was already resting on your clavicle.

“you really thought this would convince me to come home with you?” your hands pull on the necklace as seokjin bows over in laughter, “oh come on, it’s not that bad” he stands straight, clearing his throat, his face fighting to stay passive.

you give him an unimpressed look and that’s enough for him to burst into wheezes of laughter again.

and you love it, you love how freely seokjin laughs.

you want to hear it forever.

you stand there with your arms crossed against your chest, a fond smile etched on your face as you watch the man of your night, start to calm down. and he does, in the dramatic fashion you expect him to, fanning his face to force air onto his red cheeks as his eyes wrinkle with pure joy.

“if you’re done, can we go back to yours already?” you tap your foot impatiently, shying away from the fact that you just agreed to spend even more time with him. seokjin’s heart grows wings as his eyes drift over your soft smile, your tired but happy eyes, and then, the big, ugly necklace that rests on your body now.

“i knew you would like it.”

“you have a cute home” you look at the photos hanging off his walls, all of them with either his family or the boys from the band. a fond smile grew on your face as you come across a photo with a very young jin holding a fishing rod. “you fish?” you turn around to see him setting up wine glasses on the counter.

“i used to” he sighed, coming around to give you a glass, for which you thank him silently, “why, no fish in berlin?” you tease him as you take a sip, he remains silent. your mood slips when he doesn’t smile at you as he has been all night.

“i’m sorry if i overstepped” you quickly apologize, not meaning to bring up anything that wasn’t comfortable for him, he shakes his head in response, “no no, god no. don’t say sorry, i just haven’t didn’t feel like fishing anywhere except home” he stares at the picture where he holds the fish with both longing and resignation.

“you miss seoul?”

“always.”

“i can’t imagine missing home” you gulp as you imagine how you would be if you moved places, you wouldn’t survive without your comfort zone. “it’s not all bad.” seokjin smiles reassuringly but you aren’t convinced.

“you just said you miss home always.”

“i do but if i went back home, i would miss this too. imagine if i never left seoul, i would have never joined a band, i would have never put my lovely voice to use,” you scoff as he holds back a laugh, “i would have never known where you can find the cheapest alcohol in berlin, nor would i have ever bought some ugly necklace for a pretty woman.” you look away at the last part, hiding your burning cheeks away by staring out the window, “you buy a lot of women necklaces?”

“only the one, actually.” he steps in front of you with a smirk playing on his lips.

“my, she must be lucky” your voice drips with sarcasm as you raise the ugly necklace to his face, “i would insist i am the lucky one” his eyes are light as seokjin hums and traces the shape of the necklace which falls back on your clavicle.

the lightest touch between his fingers and your skin makes you suck in a breath.

as if a passing cloud suddenly rained down on you.

but you have been waiting for the droplets, you have been waiting for the thunder and storm.

you have been waiting for him to do something that leaves you breathless.

seokjin steps forward, grabs your wine glass, and places it on the counter.

“you know, i’ve met so many people over the years i joined the band,” he whispers his words and you quirk your eyebrow, “you’re not off to a great start, seokjin,”

he stifles a laugh behind his hand before clearing his throat and bringing his hands to rest on your jaw, “you are so impatient.” though it’s a trait of yours that you hate so very much, the way he says it with admiration instead of malice, makes your heart burn in your chest.

“you are making me wait too long” you whisper back, shivering under his fingers which traced your features carefully, intently as his eyes spark back with light-heartedness.

“i apologize for that” he sweeps a hand under your jaw and gently tugs your face towards his and your stomach flips into itself.

everything around you faded into oblivion.

but seokjin wandered and invaded every single one of your senses.

his lips were pillow-soft, as soft as you had imagined.

his soft breath warmed your cheeks.

his hair fell around your eyes and made it hard for you to see.

but you could see.

you could see all of him even with your eyes closed.

you could feel all of him especially with your eyes closed.

his hands that clutched your body like it was his oxygen.

his legs that couldn’t possibly step closer to you but still tried.

his shoulders that were strong under your hands.

how were you going to ever leave him behind?

“seokjin i-“ you let out helplessly, trying to tell him that this was only going to be this one night, that you would have to leave him here. he chooses to soothe his hands over your arms, easing your panic as quickly as it came, and gives you a soft kiss, parting away with a nod to let you continue.

that made it a thousand times harder to tell him.

there was no one way to do this.

“my flight is tomorrow.”

“what?”seokjin’s relaxed face twists as sadness settles behind his eyes. “it’s booked for the evening” you give the information with a wince. his grip on you falters as an uneasy smile break on his face, “i thought you were just at the beginning of your trip.”

you wish it was.

you wish so badly that it was.

he steps away from your space, you understand it’s his form of rejection. it feels like a burning sting running down your back and you hold back the tears that dangle on your lashes, you couldn’t bear this. this was the closest you had ever gotten to love in your entire life and it was crumbling in just some hours.

you didn’t want seokjin to be some distant memory.

you didn’t want to wake up and reminisce on what could have been.

“i don’t want this to end here” you say, voice quivering with vulnerability. you didn’t care if you will be rejected again, you didn’t care if he tells you to leave and your arms shifted to cover your stomach, a poor attempt at protecting yourself.

this was the first time you knew, for sure, something that you wanted and you weren’t going to cost yourself the pain that comes from not trying at all.

but seokjin’s silence was weakening your hope and you wanted to curl into yourself for ever believing that you could have a shot at love.

“i don’t want this to end either.”

his words sunk into you slowly and filled you with the warmth that dissipated from your body.

“are you sure?” you hated how weak you sounded.

seokjin tutted at you, stepping into your space to unfold your arms that held before you as defense and engulfed your hands in his.

“i would hate myself for a long time if i didn’t give us a try, it’s going to be hard but i have a good feeling about this. there’s so much more i want to know about you and there’s so much i want you to know about me, so this can’t end here.”

he breathes back life into you with the promise hidden in his words, that he’s going whichever way you are willing to as well.

“me too, i want more, way more than just this night.”

seokjin’s face fills with both relief and agreement, it reassures you that this wasn’t just you going crazy here, this wasn’t just you hanging onto whatever you could, this was both of you, unwilling to let your chance at love die tonight.

so, you spent all night, with each other, in each other, sharing every bit of yourself that you could in the time that you did.

but soon, the sun shone too bright and your eyes couldn’t stop filling up with tears.

you held your breath as you pushed the door open to seokjin’s studio, at least, you hoped this was the one. you had been to his old studios but they just moved into this one, so you had no idea what it looked like.

your palms were getting sweaty.

“y/n!” you heard hoseok, the vocalist and rapper from seokjin’s band chime from a corner and your entire body relaxes as you reach out for a hug. “seokjin hadn’t told us that you were coming, we would’ve cleaned up a bit” you both laughed together at the mess around your feet.

“this is kind of a surprise, so not his fault really.” you set aside the basket of baked goods you bought for them.

“thank you for this, we’ve all been out of it lately with the move and the new label so it’s nice to see you, i’m sure he will be ecstatic” hoseok hums as he digs through it.

“how’s the whole becoming a full-time band thing going?” you tried to distract yourself from the actual reason you were here, it was going to be a lot for seokjin to take at once.

“at the beginning, daunting as fuck, all of us were scared but we really didn’t have to worry so much, our gigs have been consistent and with this new baby, we can do so much more with our music.” you nodded, letting him rant to ease his mind and to also ease yours.

you were overjoyed when seokjin told you that they were becoming a legit band with a proper label, contract, and all the work. but hearing now how stressful it’s been, a tiny seed of worry plants itself in your mind that you were being selfish with this surprise.

but he will be happy, right?

like it’s all you two have talked about wanting. but that was before all the label stuff, before he had so much on his plate and your feet started tapping the ground incessantly as your worry continued to grow.

what if you guys break up over this?

what if he tells you that after all this time and effort, he didn’t want to be together anymore?

a jingle at the door made you jump as three figures started to huddle in.

you were out of time to worry anymore.

“just one more minute” you pleaded as your arms stayed tightly wrapped around seokjin’s torso, he let out a sad chuckle at that and granted your wish by letting you bury yourself in him. your friends stayed away to give you the privacy you needed for that minute.

this wasn’t fair.

your first shot at proper love couldn’t end this way, it wasn’t ending technically but still, you had no idea what would happen after this. all you knew for sure was that you had this one minute with him and everything after that, was left up to fate.

“i don’t think i can let you go” he whispers into your hair as he planted a soft kiss on your temple and your body shuddered with unshed tears threatening to cascade from your eyes.

“call everyday?” seokjin asks in a quiet tone, laced with the vulnerability that you braved when you told him that you wanted more. “everyday.” you nodded determinedly into his chest.

“visits whenever we can?” it was your turn to ask and seokjin nods just as determined as you, “whenever we can.”

“you won’t forget me” seokjin says with utter confidence, just to make you laugh, which you do with a full kind of happiness, “it’s kind of hard to” you point to the ugly necklace that you decided to keep on.

it was growing on you.

“we’ll find our way back to each other, okay? somewhere, the universe will and has to align for us and when it does, i will never leave you again.” your eyes, already swollen with the tears you’ve cried, grow wet again as you desperately force yourself to believe him.

it has to.

it absolutely has to.

it can’t just end here.

but as your hands leave him for the last time and your boarding ticket crumbles in your hold, you can’t help but feel that the future may not be as kind to you two as you hoped it would be.

meeting seokjin always felt brand new, in between the countless times you both flew to each other, touching his skin after waiting for a while, always took your breath away and managed to make you feel like the lightest cloud in the sky.

but as his arms engulfed you tightly, whispering words of surprise and amazement into your ears at seeing you after so long, your anxiety couldn’t be calmed, your hands couldn’t stop shaking and your breath refused to be even.

this was it, this was the day that would truly mark where you two would end up.

“i thought it was my turn to visit this time” he gleefully kissed your cheek and you nodded stiffly, “i just couldn’t wait” you replied, truthfully but your nerves were starting to give you a headache.

“are you okay? you look pale” seokjin’s eyes assessed you with concern as the back of his hand pressed into your forehead and you sighed.

you had to tell him, this could go badly but it could also go well and with that tiny hope, you tugged towards the exit with you and he followed you wordlessly.

through the years you have known seokjin now, you had fights, huge fights, arguments that you thought you couldn’t move past from, arguments that made you believe you were done. but every single time, you both found your way to each other.

and every single time, he gave you more reasons to stay and keep trying.

which is how you are here, in the city where you discovered love for the first time, throwing a stone into the blind for the future of your relationship and hoping it hits the right spot.

“so, what is on your mind?” he pulls you by your hand to wrap an arm around your body and you shiver with the same giddiness you felt all those years ago.

but you struggle to tell it to him.

no one talks about how scary it is to go a step forward in a relationship and just hope that they take the step too.

so, you don’t tell him. you slowly reach out for the promotion letter tucked away in your coat. you give it to him with shaking hands and with confused eyes, he looks at the paper that held both your futures.

you watch carefully as his eyes go wide and the largest grin grows on his face.

“you got it! you fucking did it, i knew you could but oh my god” seokjin gushes and smothers your face with kisses and you can’t help but giggle. “you actually kicked him out the program, i’m so proud of you” he presses a long kiss on your head and your insides warm with the love he showered on you.

“wait, look at the piece i submitted.” you show him the page where you wrote the story of men in berlin who found their home in each other and in their music, how they missed home but built a new one in a city unknown to them.

“this is about us?” the amazement in his voice brings a smile to your face.

“i couldn’t think of a better person to write about, you are the story that people need to know about because you’ve found the heart to make a strange, new place, your new home.” seokjin’s eyes fill with unshed tears, “you wrote all this?” he chokes back a sob and you know he’s beyond happy with it, so you nod eagerly.

“there’s more” you whisper as you point to the very end of the paper.

the end, where it states, that the headquarters of your organization would permanently move to berlin.

seokjin stares at the text for one second without a word.

two seconds.

three seconds.

this was a mistake, you should’ve talked about this with h-

“is this real? does this mean what i think it does?” he whispers to you, voice filled with confusion and hardly contained joy. you nod at him and bite your lip in anticipation, waiting for him to let you down gently or jump in the air with you.

his response comes in the form of him throwing his entire body onto yours, holding you so tightly that you can hardly breathe but you’re okay being breathless, you hardly contain your shivers of happiness when he starts whispering how grateful he was to you, and how much he loved you.

“so, you’re okay with this?” you ask, unable to keep the question hanging in your head. he pulls back and looks at you with such adoration, that you feel dumb for even asking the question.

“are you kidding me? this is all we’ve ever wanted, everything i’ve dreamed of since we started with this. i get to see you everyday and i can’t think of a better thing in my life from now on.” he pushes a strand of your hair behind your ear with teary eyes and that’s all it takes for you to cry as well.

“this is good, very good, why are we crying?” you sob into his chest and he shakes his head, unable to give you an answer but holding you tighter against him.

it was hard to make the decision to move but your town didn’t feel right anymore, and there were so many stories to tell, so many days to spend with seokjin that you just couldn’t give up on, so when the offer to berlin came through, you took it right away with a giddy heart.

“this changes everything for us” he sighs out and you tense again, “in the best way possible, i can’t wait to make you sick of me” seokjin lets out a low laugh at your worried face before kissing all your frown lines separately.

and you let him, you let him continue to kiss your worries away.

you look around the city which will soon become your home, a feeling churns in your stomach but you know this time, that it wasn’t your anxiousness, it wasn’t because you had to go running somewhere else, it was because you finally found your person and your place.

that was enough to spark tears back in your eyes and this time, it’s all happiness, it’s all joy, it’s all the excitement that comes with getting to spend every day with the person you love, in the city, that helped you find love.

184 notes · View notes

the-wayside · 10 months ago

Text

I don't know if anyone else does this but like my brain plays fill in the gaps and I write whole scenes in my head for most things I watch which is why I have so much to say all the goddamn time.

Anyway, I happened to write down this one. It's a canon-ish compliant how we got from A to B to C of Phaya waking up and going to Tharn's and a bit after that.

the you who is everything. 2.6k. pg-13 for sexy adjacent if you know you know.

It’s Tharn who gets ushered out of his room far too quickly, shining brown eyes with unshed tears and a rough unshaven cheek under Phaya’s palm. It’s Tharn who speaks no words but Phaya can feel his anguish as distinctly as his own. It’s Tharn who lets it happen because Nee is inconsolable and Phaya hazily watches as Tharn moves back to let her come forward. He wants more than anything to speak, to call out for him again but his consciousness slips and his fingers slacken without the steadiness of Tharn to hold onto.

It’s Tharn who is Wansarut. His beloved. Wansarut is Tharn. Phaya feels the tight boundaries of memories that are and aren’t his own. They belong to Master Garuda. Still, they are embedded in his skin and he feels their free edge, pushing and expanding in his mind. He grasps onto not the new memories, but a simple one he knows is his and his alone, his hand cupping Tharn’s throat, asking him not to leave. He knows he has searched without looking, yearned without truly knowing. This person who appeared in his life too many times to be a coincidence. Not a coincidence, a gift. Another chance to defy the will of an immodest god. Phaya curls his fingers against his palm when his thoughts slip to Chalothon. The slayer of his love. It’s like another dream as the nurses hustle and bustle around him, taking his vitals and consoling his sister. He feels someone try to take his amulet and he slams his hand down on top of them both.

“No,” he croaks, barely eeking out a whisper. Not for his safety, but because they can’t take what he gave to Phaya. She. They. His mind swirls faster and the hand slips away as he catches the thong of leather between his thumb and index finger, to keep it tight in his grasp. Tharn’s soul is in this stone that he tucks under his hospital gown. They can’t have it. No one can.

“P’Phaya—” Nee calls out to him and he peels his eyes open with a force it has never taken him before. Time has passed or at least he thinks it has.

He mumbles incoherently and she looks concerned, Dao behind her, holding her arm and her back.

“Tharn,” he whispers with more acuity.

Nee looks back at Dao, “We sent him home.”

Phaya tries to understand why, his face crinkling up and Nee must see the stress on his face. The tear that slips from his eye isn’t entirely his own. He cries and wets Phaya’s face.

“We’ll call him back,” Nee says immediately, trying to calm Phaya down, unused to seeing her brother cry, Dao tries to slow her down as she moves quickly to grab her phone.

“P’Phaya,” Dao tries as tries to split her focus on talking to him and dealing with Nee.

He doesn’t have it in him to speak but he repeats himself, “Tharn.”

It’s all he wants. Now. Forever.

***

When he wakes up a third time, alone and after visiting hours, he feels more centered in his body. His eyes open easily and he feels stronger and more like himself. He gently peels the tape from his canula and slips the needle out, pressing his palm down to try and stem the blood flow. His blood is sluggish and it stops quickly, which he is grateful for. He knows that he’s in no fit state and no nurse or doctor is going to let him go willing, so he creeps, barefoot, to the door and peeks his head out. It’s a gentle clutter of activity that comes with the night shift. Easily sifted through. So, he makes his way down the corridor till he sees a room marked STAFF and he opens it with a hard yank down on the closed lock that breaks under even his lesser strength. He closes the door and what catches his eye is a chair just out of his periphery and on it are some men’s clothes. He walks slowly over and grabs hold of them, raising the jeans up, and he mentally fist pumps the air because they look like they’ll work. He peels off his gown, wincing with the movement before he goes into the ensuite bathroom he sees on the other side of the room and splashes water over his face and under his armpits. He’s pretty sure someone gave him a sponge bath, he hopes it was Tharn, but he feels slightly more human and brushes his teeth with toothpaste and his finger to at least get the taste of the lake out of his mouth.

He looks at himself in the mirror, paler than he’s ever been, life barely in his lips. He’s the same. He’s exactly the same but entirely different. His brows, the slope of his nose and his mouth are all him but for a moment when he looks at himself, he isn’t himself. He’s him. The weight of heavy wings tugging on his spine and the sharp bite of talons when he curls his fingers into his hands.

Sakuna.

Garuda.

Naga.

Tharn.

He’s all that matters. He’s out there, alone, he could be hurt at any moment and Phaya can’t get to him. It sets a wave of panic rising inside him. He shakes it off and stands to the best of his ability. The only way he’s getting out of here is if no one out there believes he’s supposed to be in here. He stares himself in the eye and sees nothing out of the ordinary. He grips that image tight and does his best to embody that vision as he walks back to the door to make his journey out of the hospital.

***

He cradles his ribs the entire car ride to Tharn’s apartment. Every dip and ridge in the road lances him with pain. He can feel sweat building on the back of his neck and he tips his head back and tries to breathe it out. 10 more minutes. 10 more minutes and then he can be sure Tharn is safe.

It all comes tumbling out in a rush. I’m sorry I didn’t recognize you sooner. You’re only mine. Phaya feels the words like a burning itch under his skin. Tharn is the water, the only water that can slake his thirst and he wouldn’t deny Phaya that would he? No. Not now. Maybe not ever. Walking back, Tharn barely gets enough space between them and mumbles about the door and Phaya hears him but he won’t give him up, won’t let him change his mind, won’t let him deny them this reconciliation. He raises a hand wildly and flicks his wrist and a gust of air like a flap of a wing swings the door closed.

“Tharn,” he whispers, rubbing his nose along his. Tharn looks up at him with those big brown eyes. It’s so hard because he sees him imposed on her. Her who is him. It hurts his head so he strokes his palms down Tharn’s shoulders, down to his slim hips. Tharn is who he is now. Tharn who fell in love with Phaya between kicking sand at base camp and running after bad guys. Tharn who never leaves Phaya’s side. Tharn who is alive and Phaya loves him so very much.

“Phaya,” Tharn calls out to him with concern, hands coming up to his face, thumbs rubbing at what might be dark circles. He doesn’t dare look a second time.

Tharn is Phaya’s. No matter what. No matter what came before or what comes after. In all the sanity, Tharn belongs to Phaya only.

He looks at him because he wants to memorize Tharn’s face, the curve of his cupid’s bow, the strong line of his jaw, thick brows and fluttering eyelashes.

“I need you,” he admits. He needs Tharn like he needs breathing. His entire being has been shifted and remade with a gaping hole in his chest and he feels like he’s been trying to fill it longer than anything else in existence.

Tharn nods like he’s agreeing. He’ll give Phaya this. He’ll let him take without asking questions and Phaya’s grateful because he doesn’t have the answers, only spun-up confusion.

Phaya walks him back, fingers sliding to grasp Tharn’s shirt so that when they’re in his room, softly lit and twinkling, he can pull it off and dive back to that mouth.

Has it only been days since they last did this? Tharn’s beautiful golden skin barely lit as he lays back pulls Phaya in like a moth to a flame, erratic wings beating like the thrum of his heart. Phaya climbs over him to kiss him and Tharn immediately opens up, meeting him kiss for kiss, their mouths sliding against each other in wordless communication. I want you; have me.

Phaya takes his time blushing and bruising Tharn’s skin, littering his skin with marks that don’t penetrate further than the surface but they please that buzz inside his brain that says, people can see. His soul and mine are one. It’s the truest thing he knows as his fingers slide down Tharn’s throat and Tharn grabs his hand and presses a kiss to his knuckles.

His heart squeezes in his chest at the gesture and he skates his lips, tongue teasing until he reaches Tharn’s scar from the knife that almost took him from Phaya. He had previously skirted past it, careful in case it still gave Tharn pain but he tilts his head back, encouraging Phaya to keep up his tending to his body, so he kisses it once, twice, acknowledging its existence but also the truth that it didn't take what Phaya holds so dear to him.

It’s awkward when he tries to take Tharn’s pants off with one hand, kissing back up his chest to his mouth that is leaking breathy whimpers that Phaya wants to swallow down inside himself and keep them there with everything else he knows about Tharn. I did that, I give him that pleasure.

Tharn understands where he’s trying to go and he tips his head back up and focuses on unzipping his pants and shimmying them down his hips and around his thighs. Phaya leans off him enough to help him push them down off his knees and into a heap on the floor. He looks back up at Tharn who pulls on his bicep and tugs him back up to kiss him again, bolder than before and he slides his hand into Phaya’s hair, trapping him as he pulls him to lay across his naked body. There’s little more that he can do but whine as Tharn licks and sucks on his neck, giving him a hickey of his own. When he finally surfaces, leaning back against the bed, he’s smug and Phaya loves him all over again.

There are dark smudges under Tharn’s eyes and it worries Phaya, so he leans over and when Tharn closes his eyes, Phaya kisses his eyelid gently, the tip of his nose, and then his mouth.

“I missed you,” he says quietly and Tharn’s grip on him tightens.

There are a ton of questions that start circulating in his head, some his own, some pushing back from those now opened recesses but Phaya keeps his focus still locked on Tharn, the silence in the eye of the storm.

Phaya slinks down as best he can until he’s knees on the floor, sitting on his ankles, and there’s some apprehension in Tharn but Phaya calms it with soft strokes on his thigh. He won’t do it if Tharn doesn’t want him to. He kisses the thin skin on the inside of his knee, just above that, sucking on the skin and letting it go with a wet pop. He gets a perfect visual of Tharn’s whole body twitching like it’s on one thread from his head down to his toes, connected only to Phaya’s mouth.

“Tharn?” He asks, kissing a little further up but still in a safer zone.

Tharn licks his lips and nods, “Yeah?”

It’s still a question so Phaya kisses his mid-inner thigh nose rubbing before he bites, Tharn jumping with the unexpectedness of it, “Yeah?”

“Yes.”

Sure, definitive, the go Phaya needs. He sits off his ankles and back properly onto his knees as he pushes Tharn’s leg and kisses the inner crease of his thigh and he jolts again, hooked like a fish on a line. Phaya pays extra attention to it, licking it flatly, tasting the deeper texture of his skin where it is saltier and warmer. Tharn’s fingers wind back into his hair, scratching his scalp gently and sending little tingles down Phaya’s nerves. He retaliates by scraping his teeth on Tharn’s hipbone. Phaya can feel his own blood in his veins, singing eternally about this, about Tharn, about them. It hits deeper in his bones than any fight or battle.

He's supposed to be here with his hands on Tharn’s skin, loving and worshipping all that he’s been given. He is dear to me. My affection is pure.

Tharn gasps and it’s a melody he wants to listen to in this life and all his lives. Phaya swallows and Tharn cries out, fingers spasming in his hair. This is all he needs. Only mine, always. Phaya tucks his arm around Tharn’s thigh to hold him tighter and down and catches in his eyeline as he curls up on himself, thrashing as Phaya draws out and pushes bliss through his body.

“Phaya.” Benediction.

More, Phaya thinks, more of me until there’s nothing else. Until you’re safe from harm’s way.

Tharn tries pushing at him but Phaya is heavier regardless of his state. Without any leverage he has to accept everything Phaya gives him, palm moving to be splayed on his belly to stop him from writhing away again.

“Phaya, please, come o—” Tharn’s words stop but his body trembles, his skin getting hotter and hotter.

Phaya stays with him until all of it eases, his thighs previously corded with tension, slacken away from Phaya’s shoulders.

Phaya strokes his palm over the wet sheen on Tharn’s stomach, comforting him as everything ebbs. Tharn throws an arm over his eyes and breathes out harshly. Phaya eases him down and drags himself up to flop next to him on the bed.

“You—” Tharn accuses from his shielded view.

Phaya kisses his chest, “Mmm, I did.”

That gets Tharn to pull away his arm, and let it drop over his head as he frowns at Phaya with the incredulity of it. Phaya grins at him self-assuredly, “I did, didn’t I?”

That arm slaps his weak chest, “Evil jellyfish!”

Phaya bursts out laughing and Tharn stops, mouth clearly working faster than his brain.

“You’re ridiculous,” Tharn settles for. Phaya can’t tell if he’s embarrassed or not but he takes it as a win when Tharn doesn’t deny him snuggling up closer to his side. There’s a cursory glance downward from Tharn and Phaya shakes his head. It wasn’t what he came for.

“But I’m yours,” Phaya tells him. Tharn doesn’t argue and opens the space by his side so that Phaya can lay his head on Tharn’s chest and listen to the thud-thud of his heart.

Phaya reaches for those same boundaries that felt so prominent in his consciousness earlier in the evening but they have receded, further into the dim back edges of his awareness.

He laments what happened to Wansarut. He feels that distant ache of her passing, the screaming need to save her, and the unflinching sorrow when he couldn’t. He feels her as he feels the walls inside himself but she isn’t everything. Tharn, here and now, feels like everything.

I’m sorry I couldn’t save you, but I promise I will save him.

#way writes #the sign the series #dis bish at it again #it's queue #fic

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immadatdisney2 · 2 months ago

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Whumptober Day Two: You try and backstab me?! (I'll just have to stab you first)

Varian had had all sorts of crazy dreams over the years.

From fever dreams to crazy nightmares- oh, and that one time where the creepy ghost girl (that just so happened to be a crazy demon of Zahn Tiri) snuck into his dreams and told him the secret for the final incantation and gave him slight phasmophobia.

But none of these could compare to the dream he’d had last night.

The room seemed to go on forever in all directions, bookshelves that looked like they were reaching for the heavens and tables covered in beakers, open books and papers with scribbled notes scattered around the room.

“Where am I?”

“Varian!” He turned around and saw a woman standing in the center of the room, (or…maybe he was in a library?) Her fiery red hair was barely contained to the top of her head in a messy bun, her teal dress rumpled like she hadn’t changed in a hot minute… she looked familiar, but from where?

She cupped his cheeks in her hands “Oh my son, you're as beautiful as the day I lost you…”

Wait, son?!

“I wish I had the time to tell you everything sweetie, but this spell isn’t going to last much longer and I have to warn you of this” she started pacing around the room, snatching books and papers in a frenzy.

“Wait M-mom, if you could have talked to me- talked to Dad all this time… why did you wait ‘till just now?!”

He followed her, thinking she would stop and look at him for a second (Y’know, considering this was their first time meeting in 18 fucking years!) but she just kept grabbing and tossing random books and papers frantically.

“I’ve only just harnessed enough power for this, the Library is really doing everything it can to keep me- all of me- trapped in this hell… but that doesn't matter right now”

“S-so what did you mean, a warning? What are you warning me about?!” She turned to face him, eyes wild and frantic with the jumble of papers slipping from her arms and to the ground “

Hugo isn’t who you think he is. You can’t trust him Varian, don’t let yourself get hurt again”

He woke up in cold sweat, fear and shock trembling through his bones.

What the hell was that… Did… did he just meet his mother? Like, for the first time, and was the only thing she bothered to say was “Hi child I haven't seen in almost 20 years, your best friend/ kinda crush isn't who you think he is!”

Isn’t who you think he is…

The words kept ringing in his ear, embedding themselves into his mind. Did this mean… was Hugo going to betray him?

No no, that would never happen! Hugo was his friend- his best friend, he wouldn't…

You’ve been betrayed by friends before… who’s to say it couldn’t happen again…

No. This was what happened with Cass, she let herself be manipulated without any actual proof and it all went to shit. His friend wouldn’t do that to him, Hugo wouldn’t do that to him.

Besides, how could he know that was actually a vision of his mom? The weird dream was probably just a side effect of the new sleep tonic he’d taken earlier.

He was a scientist, and scientists couldn’t make any conclusions without having solid evidence. He was just gonna go back to sleep (AKA go work in the lab until dawn) and move on with his life in the morning, he just needed to ignore it.

Just ignore it.

Turns out “just ignoring it” wouldn’t work. The weird dreams, well they weren't just a one time thing. They came almost every night, changing a bit each time with what he and his mom would talk about but always ending with the same terrible terrible sentence “Hugo isn’t who you think he is… he will betray you!”

And yes, he tried just not sleeping to avoid the dream but he’d either crash and burn the next night from exhaustion (and drain his coffee supply during the day) or Nuru would make sure he went to bed.

Hugo had also started acting more and more secretive after each trial, he knew he was hiding something. And he didn’t want to believe what it was…

With each new dream and the day they would finally enter the Library creeping closer, it was growing painfully obvious that his mom might be telling the truth.

He sighed, pushing the thought aside as his head hit the pillow. He had to get some rest for when they opened the gates tomorrow… and after all, why loom over the thought when his dreams would just do it for him.

The room was messy and slightly dark- like usual- and his mother was sitting his her favorite chair on the far side of the room, next to one of the many crowded bookshelves and a fireplace.

She was looming over a book, reading furiously and constantly pushing back strands of her red hair that had escaped her bun.

She didn’t seem to notice Varian was here and was just mumbling some gibberish under her breath and she scribbled down notes so he went and gave her a light tap on the shoulder, she flinched but soon smiled when she saw his face.

“Oh Varian! How are you pumpkin?” After many times of doing the spell that let her into his dream, Ulla sometimes couldn’t tell the difference between this and the real world.

“Hi mom, we finally completed the trails and are opening the gates to the Library tomorrow” Her face lit up and she slammed the book she was writing in closed.

“That’s wonderful!” she held his face in her hand, an action Varian had grown very fond of over their visits. “I can’t wait to finally see you- really, see you- again… and, Hugo?”

“How many times do I have to tell you Mom! He’s not going to betray me!”

He couldn’t decide whether he was saying that for her to believe it… or for himself…

For her… definitely for her…

She sighed sadly and her eyes said she was pondering what to say next “I really hoped I wouldn't have to show you this… but you’ve left me no choice”

Before he could ask what his mind started flowing with visions

A young Hugo…stealing for Donella and saluting for her…

Hugo taking the fire totem and handing it over to Donella…

Hugo joined their team once Donella ordered him to…

Hugo, copying each and every one of his notes and hanging them over to Donella

Hugo sneaking away from camp to report to Donella

Hugo…

He awoke in cold sweat… but this time instead of fear, he felt only anger.

How could Hugo do this! This must be why Donella always seemed to know their next move, why she was always to step ahead no matter what Varian did! All because of Hugo…

I told you…

“What do I do now Mom?”

Get him first!

A dagger that he didn’t remember leaving on his windowsill gleamed in the moonlight and without thinking, he grabbed it and ran.

Hugo’s room was empty, nothing there but the small sleeping figure of Olivia.

The woods, go to the woods!

Running through the dark woods he felt an evil and strange sence of anger surge through him, it didn’t even seem human, he’d never felt anger like this- not even when his father got trapped in the amber.

But it didn’t matter, all that mattered was revenge…

He found Hugo leaning on a tree, and his blonde friend traitor jumped when he saw Varian, clearly not expecting anyone else to be there at two in the morning.

No one but your boss, you lying rat!

“Goggles, what the hell are you doing out here so late- well more like so early I guess”

“I could ask you the same thing Beanpole” A nervous look flashed across Hugo’s face but it was quickly masked by his usual casual demeanor.

“Well I-”

“Don’t even try and hide it, he- I know everything”

“He- what are you talking about Var? And what is going on with your eyes?” Varian’s leg flew towards Hugo’s stomach, knocking him to his knees with several choughs.

“What the fuck!”

“You’re working for Donella, you were going to betray him!”

Hugo’s face went white, how did he know… and what was going on with his voice, and his eyes. His eyes seemed to be glowing.

“My son has been hurt by people like you for far too long… I won’t let Donnie win again”

Donnie? As far as he knew only one person had ever had the guts to call his boss by that name…Varian, who wasn’t acting like Varian, pulled out a dagger and used it to point Hugo’s chin up to face him.

His eyes were definitely glowing with an evil electric blue that were not the eyes Hugo had grown to love…

“It’s a shame though… my pumpkin did really love you, but after this it won’t matter. We’ll be together again, I’ll finally be there to protect him from traitors like you”

He felt the knife pierce through his scream and a sharp cry ripped through his street. Blood was staining his clothes and pain was radiating through his body.

He crumpled to the ground begging for Varian to snap out of it, to help him! But his love only grinned evilly and wiped the dagger with his cloth.

“Oh and if my Donnie finds you still alive, say hi for me, won’t you…”

#vat7k #hugo vat7k #donella vat7k #varian and the 7 kingdoms #varian and the seven kingdoms #varigo #tw possession #tw strobe lights #whumptober 2024 #whump writing #whump prompt #No2

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itsohh · 2 years ago

Text

The Other Man's Ring

A/N: Female reader, looking at doing a couple of like linked oneshots sorta situation cause I like writing specific scenes but not an enitre story to go with it

Summary: When Simon finds a hidden-away engagement ring he decides the pair of you need to talk.

Word count: 1420

Warnings: None

AO3 Masterlist Series Masterlist

He was normally relatively quiet. Prefering to watch and listen rather than to talk. At least that's how he was most of the time on base. In the field, he was one to take charge when needed and typically when he was alone with you, willing to speak up in comfort. Yet his current silence worried you. Sure sometimes he was just silent around your house but it was the fact that the pair of you had been in the middle of a conversation that concerned you.

"Simon?" You put the final dish from the dishwasher away and closed it. You wiped away any access water and poked your head around the corner. "Simon?" Again you called with no response. The short walk to your bedroom- now shared bedroom- seemed to take forever until you finally rounded the corner into the open door. "Simon, did you find my spare phone… charger?" Your voice trailed off as he stared at the small item in his hands. Your brows shot up at the sight of it, you didn't realize you still had that there.

"Are you married?" His voice was without emotion and at first, you thought to be offended, that you would ever cheat, but you bit back the knee-jerk reaction. An engagement ring was hidden away… you could see how his mind would run of all possibilities.

"Almost." You shuffled into the room and sat down on the large bed. It dipped under your weight and soon Simon followed your lead. It was a decent size rock. Diamond. Most likely cost a small fortune. "Long ago, maybe a year or two before I met you. I was in love." You glanced up to meet your lover's eyes for a second before your eyes fell back down to the ring that twirled in his fingers.

"I was young, well younger than I am now. He was great. Funny, charming, pretty and had one of those American accents that I loved to make fun of. Admittedly not terrible in bed either. Well, that's before my standard was raised." The pair of you lowly chuckled at that last part together.

"Even though we were both in the military, we kept our work completely out of our lives together. Hell, I still don't know what military he works for. It worked and we were in love. I worshipped the ground he stood on, crazy for him. He in turn took care of me, a doting boyfriend who eventually became my fiancé. The classic story."

"I presume things didn't work out?"

"Well after we got engaged we talked more and more about how we wanted our lives to be after we got married. We both soon discovered that we had rather different plans. I wanted to pretty much stay the same, maybe have a house together. But Phil? He wanted to protect me. Wanted me to leave the military. There wasn't any pressure for kids or anything." A sigh left your mouth. "Insistent on the matter. Sure, he wanted to keep me safe, but safe doesn't keep me happy. Eventually, after all the arguing I broke it off. Honestly, it wasn't really messy or anything. We just… moved on with our lives."

"He let you keep the ring?"

"I think both of us forgot about that one."

"That one?" He cocked a brow at you.

"Well, this is the ring he asked me to marry him with. I never wore it unless it was around the house. I don't know if you noticed but it's super unpractical." Simon tilted his head to the side in agreement, it was a bulky rock. "Eventually, he gave me another engagement ring. This time with the diamonds embedded into the band so I could wear it under my cloves at work." Your shoulders dropped for a moment. "Would have just preferred a blank ring, never cared for gems but Phil was Phil. He liked spending money on me." Simon passed the ring to you and you started to fiddle with it in your hands.

"I remember when I gave the ring back to him he didn't want to take it. I think there was a part of him that secretly wished we would get back together. Maybe he didn't forget about this ring. I don't know. Sometimes I felt like didn't know the man at all. Ultimately I saw what he wanted to see."

"Do you feel the same?" Simon's eyes cast over your face as you gave him a slight look of confusion. "About me." He clarified.

"Mmm." You dropped the ring on your bed and ran a finger over his hand. "At least I can see when you're wearing a mask." The home had the corner of his lip curl up while you traced the veins on his hand. "It's different, sure there are things that you keep from me. Both personal and work-related, you have your secrets and I probably won't know every part of you. But I don't feel like any part of you is a lie. Perhaps an act when you get all grumpy with the recruits…" Your eyes flashed up to meet his and your face spread into a teasing smirk before you continued. "But never a lie. When it comes to who you are as a person. I know you." Voice soft, you let go of his hand and placed it on his clothed chest. Right where his heart was.

Simon's eyebrows had narrowed but it didn't discourage you in any matter. "I could be wrong of course. You could be a secret mastermind behind everything. Plotting my demise." Simon leaned back on the bed and picked the ring up before he placed it on your side table. The same side table that he had found said ring in.

"And if I was? Would you regret it?"

"My demise by your hand? What a way to go. Have I told you I love your hands?" You winked and he rolled his eyes at you. A hand of his snaked around your waist and promptly pulled you close. Half in his lap you cuddled up to his chest your laughter shaking into his body.

"You have. Several times in fact." He made sure to press a little firmer into your skin to enthesis his touch. His touch ran up and down your forearm. The light touch of his lips made contact with the top of your head for a second before he sat back again.

"What would you like to happen if we ever got married?" Simon's voice was a hum, his focus seemed to be on your body but his mind was one hundred per cent on whatever your answer was to be.

"Us? Married? Hmm. I didn't think you were the type to want to get married." Your voice was a tease, not completely serious but he could hear the question wrapped up in your statement.

"Only to you."

"Charmer." You rolled your eyes, a grin on your face that you couldn't contain. "Honestly, if we were to get married. I think I would like things to just stay the same that they are."

"How so?"

"Well, we have no reason to move out of our houses. You live in England and I live here. We just carry on what we usually do and just take turns on where we live. I can't see how it would affect work any more than it currently does." Your head turned up to look at his warm eyes. "What about you?"

"I think we are on the same page with this one."

"Oooh wait there's one thing I would change."

"Oh yeah? What's that?"

"I think Sergeant Riley sounds pretty charming." His brow raised which caused you to let out a small giggle. "Or perhaps Dr Riley or even Mrs Riley if we are really striping it back."

"You want to take my name?"

"Why not? Man, it's going to make it soooo annoying and confusing when we are deployed together."

"You just want to stir chaos." Simon's voice had a slightly deeper undertone to it, signalling his disapproval.

"Ah come on sweetie, it's not like anyone uses your name in the field anyway. I'll be Riley and you'll be Ghost."

"And if Johnny starts calling you Mrs Ghost?" Simon's question had you pause and physically cringe at the thought.

"Johns not gonna have a tongue for very long if he keeps that up."

"Even mute he'll never shut up."

"I can believe that."

#cod #cod x reader #ghost x reader #mw2 x reader #simon riley #call of duty

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siremasterlawrence · 7 months ago

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BHAFTA Part 1

British Hypnosis Academy Of Television and Film Arts has a feverish premiere week after a strange young man infiltrated the grand ole academy for the longterm and so many changes have happened. The school has been rebranded with a new lifestyle training Academy I have a new type of training to install in the students and my plan has to get going to be unfurled out of controlled.I made a list of British actors who came to my aid after the announcement saying it’s good for change and I approached many of them starting with the former man of mystery James Bond.

The red carpet rolls out ultra plush towards The Academy who will relaunch a million careers and spring forth a thousand more with a simple trigger word everyone who signs this contract will be at my mercy to mold. Daniel Craig’s limo parks as the door swings open revealing the man of martini shaken not stirred, he takes a step forward hand ready to shake mine as I grab it shaking it fiercely with one hand and offering out my other hand.A contract with a quilt pen laying on it in a magical fashion he picks up and beginning to sign a contract without reading it at all in excitement because he felt utter compelled to do so because he felt so deeply in need of him.The crowd electrically erupting in a baffle of excitement roars up in to the air streaking from wall to wall with screams hitting brand new heights and hitting new ridiculous levels as his mind is shook to the core as we shook firmly. The fiery minute we touch hands as we set something so embedded inside of him it is lit much like a match stick with a forest fire metastasizing throughout his body and without any bit of effort he succumbs.The light in his pupils erasing from existence fading into the anonymity of time and space forever into the void and eventually he left totally empty devoid of anything except for all that I command. Taking control leading him to the side of The BHAFTA Academy as we snuck into the true massively gigantic building in the Great City of London and we enter the side doors avoid every fan and photographer pinning him in to the wall. Pressing my body on the wall we go skin to skin matching every inch and crevice before we kiss a little leading to a longterm make our season because we fell deeply in love for each other. I place his back on to the wall putting in a few codes as he stares at me mindlessly swallowing his body in to the wall as he spun to the side and the walls open up as he drops down a slide.

“OI Mate! You super seeded to the head of the academy.” Tom Hardy calls to me.

“Can I help you Tom?”

“I am interested “

“Would you like to have a conversation?”

“Bloody yeah!”

“Wait for me in that small inclosure “

“Yes sure “

“Don’t interrupt us”

“Yes sir”

“Please pitch “

“I am Tom Hardy and I think I could be that spokesperson.”

“Well Daniel Craig is interested “

“Against me? I don’t think so”

“Cocky huh?”

“What if I am?”

“No! You are not !”

“Excuse me!”

“You are insecure “

“Now listen here”

“Or what punk?”

“What’s going on?”

“The door is closing”

“The lights are flickering off”

“Ssshhhh!”

“Don’t shush me”

“Zip it Hardy”

“Focus on your life “

“It flashes back and forth “

“Enter my school”

“You are hired “

“Tom Ellis”

“Where is Hardy?”

“He’s busy “

“My new spokesperson “

“That was insanely quick”

“Bloody hell!”

“Cheeky”

“Am I?”

“So unfair “

“Why?”

“Did you want it?”

“Maybe possibly “

“Well I have to go”

“No! STOP!”

“Baby please “

“Fuck me!”

“Excuse me”

“Let me prove it “

“Are you stripping?”

“Now you are naked “

“Oh My!”

“Say it”

“Goodness “

“Oh come on!”

“What?”

“Swear it!”

“Hmmm”

“Fuck”

“Much better “

“Worship me”

Andrew Garfield is the next to approaches me in a heat of lust, love and desire to begin following me to the balcony and shutting the door after he enters. He smirks at me with this red fiery rage inside of him calling to me

he stood so tall in the brush of the moon light of white decadence. I lay my right hand

on him wrapping the other over his shoulder as we dance to the silvery moon tapping his shoulders tightly and we kiss a few more moments.

“Woah! Hey! How are you doing this?”

“Making me swoon over you “

“Swoon over me?”

“Yeah babe”

“I don’t know you “

“My movies “

“I’ve seen some”

“And?”

“I loved them”

“Hell yes!”

“You are so sweet”

“Let me lift you up “

“Swoop you off of your feet”

“Hug you tight “

“Kiss you sweetly “

“Be your man”

“Take my hand “

“Love you “

“Will you serve me Andrew?”

“With my all”

“I give you my body “

“What a specimen”

“My mind”

“So easy to mind alter “

“Your life “

“Wonderful to sculpt “

“Whatever you wish!”

“Strip me please “

“I am all”

“Yes Master”

“Hey Tom! Say Cheese!”

The end

#daniel craig #tom hardy #tom ellis #andrew garfield #tom holland #the royal family #red carpet #celebrity slaves #hypnosis #mind control #reprogramming #hypno slave #photography

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dustypagesblog · 5 months ago

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Solivagant

My mind keeps running back to it, no matter how much I distract myself, the thought never leaves me alone, like it's embedded in my brain, isolating itself pushing away any rational thoughts that try to erase it. Centralizing thoughts was never my thing but never once did an idea dawn me to this extent. It seemed like a age old rule tempting me to break it. My conscious running on the commands of it may be for the best. The idea of suicide creeped inside of me three weeks ago. A pleasant day without any banter, peace coursing through the house but settling with heavy grief as I knotted my black tie around my neck, Nahyun had left a message about his grandmother's death and as his friend I needed to be by his side. I was though a little worried about his lack of grief towards the news of death, his grandmother was always the brightest light in his well lit life.

The atmosphere in the venue reflected Nahyun's feelings and response. I tried, tried my best to coax him into showing his emotions, letting out the raw frustration he was masking behind the straight and pale face but when he answered saying, 'I think everything is fine now, she doesn't have to deal with any more pain. Sometimes death is the solution', I believed him.

Maybe it isn't that bad of an idea if I can't get it out of my head, I mean what more pain can a person suffer after death? No one knows what lies beyond but one does know what's going on now and it's better to seek solace in trying to find an end to the ongoing misery. If Nahyun's grandmother is in a better place, so will I.

Though rather, hers wasn't a decision, but an expected yet unwilling turn of page to where she needed to leave the book behind. It's for the good.

______

But throwing away everything just to get rid of pain..? Is it worth for all I've lived?

Every question was blurred by the previous decision, I mean what choice do I have left, living amongst those who judge me for my preferences, abandonment throughout life, Scrunching nose with look of disgust when they ask me about myself and the hauntings of failures and heartbreaks.

Now, four weeks later here I am, a bottle of pills clutched in my left palm and the right hand resting on the edge of the bathtub, the silent room filled with loud clattering of my teeth. This is it. I didn't care with the goodbyes, didn't wanna be distracted with hollow words of hope.

Assumptions and accusations will be made but I won't be part of it, just the reason for it. They'll have me locked up one last time in their worries.

This is for the best. This- has to be for the best. But.. I'll be gone, forever. I'm scared but I have to do this, I'm useless.

(A/: I was currently working on this, so decided to post. Please show some love)

#poetry #weird poetry #poets on tumblr #dark acamedia #classic lit aesthetic #poems and poetry #poemblr #booklr #book quotes #books #own post #snippet

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sillystargirll · 2 years ago

Text

The World We Knew ~ Part 2

A Y/N and Soap Mactavish Story

The outside of the plane bustled with life the moment I stepped off, I always hated how the heat would get trapped inside those planes almost as if I was in an oven begin baked alive.

As I stepped out of the plane I let warm sun sunbathe my skin, I liked how warm it felt I could the breeze flowing along my hair. I was so relaxed I could almost stay in this state of mind forever.

I opened my eyes to be met by a small group of me .One of them steps forward to approach me.

"Lieutenant (L/N) or do you prefer to be called the Flash" the colonel, Alejandro Vargas welcomed me. The way my name rolled off his tongue with his rich accent, was so sexy to me.

He extends his hand to meet mines and I gladly shake his hand only for him to caress it and bring my hand to his lips giving a small kiss.

so he did read my file I smirk to myself as I gave a small chuckle "Flash will do" I glance over to the other boys one wearing a mask which caught my curiosity and the other one with his

hair as a mohawk his bright blue eyes captivated me it was almost as if I was looking at the ocean, it reminded me of the beaches in Mami where I spent all my free time listening to the waves crashing against the rocks.

"I'm Soap, I guess ghost isn't the only LT here anymore"

'like actual soap, hm intresting?" I smirked, Soap let out a small chuckle and smiled as he shakes my hand, I turn over my attention to the one that is wearing a mask which immensely I met with an intimidating gaze coming from him

"He's not much of a talk" Soap buts in I nodded and turn my attention towards Alejandro gesturing his head towards the SUVs behind him.

"I've never been to Mexico," I stated, making Alejandro chuckle lightly

"This isn't Mexico." as he extended his arms out "This is Las Almas"

"Shepherd" contractors are inbound to reinforcers. They're bringing hardware, they'll need room." Ghost states, Alejandro turns his head in acknowledgement.

All down to business, I think to myself where's the fun in that.

"My base is your base"

"Good, Now where's Hassan?"

"Cartel safe-house, ten clicks from here." Alejandro opens the door for me and winks at me which I smile lightly he closes the door and whistles loudly letting the SUVs

'Vamos, Vamos"

༻︵𓏶︵༺

Las Almas was beautifully filled with life, and creativity and so vibrant I always wanted to go to Mexico, I remember as a kid I would cling on to my Gramps for dear life begging him not to go on those missions since I didn't want to stay with the nanny even though she was nice. He would whisper down to my small ear and tell me he would bring me a souvenir.

For all those dangerous missions he would go to he would bring me souvenirs from different places he would go. Out of all the souvenirs he brought me my favorite was the conch shell from the beaches of Normandy he had given me for Christmas when I was 7 and I've kept and cherish it all these years.

I look out the window there was the natural beauty of nature filling the streets, alleyways, and nearby plazas. People strolled along the embedded with stones, the sidewalks clean and free of dirt. Trees and plants grew in abundance, creating limited shade even in the middle of the day

Kids played on the sidewalk, enjoying the warm weather and breezy air. I always wished to have friends growing up I was always alone the only thing I had was the giant house my Gramps brought near the shore of the beach and the serenity of the ocean it brought me peace. due to my Gramps job and the risks, it came with everything had to be done in secret. He didn't want me to get caught up with the Mania of his job apart from my birth.

I snap out of my thoughts and focus on reality stuck in the middle with two soldiers who could literally squish me, with their bulky muscles following ahead in front is an SUV that is leading the way.

"White truck, four armed in the back." Soap stated I spot it in the distance the truck quickly comes into view from his window, revealing the four men he was talking about all had their faces covered equipped with assault rifles.

My hand slowly grips my rifles carefully from begin obvious just in case there is any conflict.

"Hey "tranquilla" Alejandro was quick to assure me that everything was fine

"That's normal here. Guns on the street is a jurisdiction of the police."

"Where are the police." Ghost and Alejandro look at each other through the rearview mirror.

"Well, Las Almas has a very serious problem. there are a few that uphold the law, many who resist corruption... disappear."

"What about the military," soap questioned

"Well because we are well trained, soldiers are recruited by the narcos."

"Why not you?"

"We grew up here." In one instance you could tell Alejandro had a special connection to this town and to its memories. he will fight till the very end to keep those special memories.

"They call us Los Vaqueros, Cowboys. we love this place and would die fighting for it."

The vehicles trailed along passing by a small open area that was filled with shaded large trees. on the sidewalk, I was given a view of a man in a black tank top shirt who wore a skull mask beside him was a square cart, that was balloons tied to the cart. the balloons which the sun reflected on the side walk showing their beautiful colors.

The man handed a gold star-shaped balloon to the boy beside him were two men who were on guard on them they were carrying assault rifles.

"Kids, guns, and balloons .. that's a new one," Soap stated as he looked at me for a brief moment and then to Alejandro through the rearview mirror

"Narcos use generosity to win over the people."

"Even Children." I felt a pang in my heart these children didn't deserve to be brainwashed especially by narcos who cause nothing but destruction. in their way

"Especially the children" an unrecognized new voice spoke up, the driver speaks I think to myself

"Como te llamas senora?" the driver asked, trying to start a conversation with me since the drive got way to damn quiet.

"El Flash" I responded, watching from the rearview mirror his head slowly nod in acknowledgement

"You must be fast in the field, I'm Rodolfo Parra but you can call me Rudy" I smile and nod my head in acknowledgment as he watches you from the rearview mirror returning a smile back

All of a sudden the vehicle slowly comes to a stop. I slowly peered towards ghost's window along with Soap and tried to get a glimpse of what it is. My eyes were met with bright white sheets and had black writing on them covering the abandoned bodies.

"What's on those sheets?" Soap asked

"Narcomantas"

"Cartel Cloths" Rudy translates

"Message from El Sin Nombre. Warnings, marking territory. our streets are laced with death."

Before arriving in Las Almas Laswell gave you a brief introduction on who is El Sin Nombre and that he has been an issue in Las Almas but before I could ask who was El Sin Nombre ghost beat me to it.

"Who's Sin Nombre"

"El Sin Nombre", Alejandro corrected him. "The nameless, the leader of the Las Almas.'

"Where can we find him" my voice laced with a bitter tone

"You can't, no one knows who he is. but he's everywhere." Alejandro peered over the rear view of the mirror to make direct eye contact with me, but also watched the vehicles behind following us.

"And this is a challenge" I could sense a growing smile let alone Alejandro's tone. "But Los Vaqueros like challenges."

"With your mask, you will fit in well here, Ghost" Rudy butted in, I smirk at his statement, well he spoke facts in my opnion.

"Oye Calma" Alejandro gives a soft stern voice ordering Rudy to take it easy. The vehicle slowed down a bit, leaving me a bit curious about what was happening.

"Checkpoint, It's the army. Turn right, well go around."

"Why?" Ghost asked and I questioned myself on assuming the military guys blocking our road were allies or so I thought.

"Some troops are in the pocket of El Sin Nombre. Like I told said he's everywhere."

Rudy picks up the speed as the cleared streets gave the drivers behind us to go faster.

༻︵𓏶︵༺

Upon exiting the SUV, my high-laced boots came into contact with the dry dirt ground. Alejandro had let us to a rustic look old abandoned building it gave off a bad vibe.

"Team leaders, circle up on me." Alejandro ordered through his radion before looking back at Me, Soap and Ghost.

which we three nodded in acknowledgment. the rest of the soldiers rushed out of the vehicles, closing their doors. I grabbed my rifle in my hand and got of the car. as soon as I got off I inhaled the fresh air and felt the breeze cool my skin. I gather around Soap, Ghost, Alejandro and Rudy ready for the mission and the chaos that would unfold.

"Where are they holding Hassan?" Soap asked

"White two-story building. Back town" Alejandro raised the binoculars to give him a good view of the area he then put them down after a couple of seconds he managed a steady grip on his weapon and signaled everyone to quickly to approach the rusted old iron gate door.

In waiting for the command, I positioned behind Soap, who had positioned behind Alejandro. Once everyone was set, he radioed his team.

"All victors, stand by" Alejandro spoke into his radio, keeping his gun ready. Three seconds before commanding his men to breach, he fired a direct shot.

Ghost breached the door open on command, quickly following after Soap who was the first to enter he briskly walked through the entrance. I was left following after ghost.

Once inside the safe house, I was given a better look at the first few two-story houses I saw each made with brick and cement, the structure would be good for an incoming storm.

"Any civilians"

"Gone" Alejandro retorted, quickly approaching the next gate

"Where'd did they go?" Soap questioned after a small moment of silence."

"The Cartel took over, its now a hideout."

"It's a good place to keep Hassan, especially in the middle of nowhere," I said various shouts from the village center interrupted our conversation. We were shut off by another metal door that was lined with large, thick rocks and dense brick walls. Those cartel members who didn't know you were here sure as hell do now

Ghost quickly breached the next door open, allowing The rest of the group to reveal a more covered ground of the village ahead. Gunfire was quick to fill the air along with shouting chaos, Alejandro shot the first cartel member he saw hiding in what looked to be a one-bedroom that was in a complete mess across from him.

As we head down to the first floor of the safe house the walls are quickly riddled with bullet holes from the cartel who shot from various different places for cover.

I lingered behind Soap as he advances ahead, providing additional cover fire toward the cartel. took cover behind the nearest house wall, trying to avoid the gunfire and working with soap, shooting at the cartel men who cockblocked our way.

As we advanced forward, we encountered a narrowed pathway between the houses, which we crossed over the bodies of cartel members.

"watch out!" as I shot at the last man standing on top of a second-story balcony

"Thanks," Alejandro says he shoots me a soft smile which I return with a wink

Following the path to the last house, he pressed forward

"We secure this house, then we go for Hassan," Alejandro makes an announcement, the team members can be seen in his peripheral view.

"Cartels will move fast."

"Then we move faster. Soap, take the door."

Soap positioned himself in front of Alejandro and was set to the right of the door. I heard frantic screams coming from the house, it seemed they were well aware of my presence and were preparing to defend themselves.

after he breached the door, The man walked slowly down the hall and fired heavily at the man standing in the grim center moments after pulling the trigger before soap overtook him.

Following closely behind Soap, I kept an eye out and my gun aimed at every slightly ajar door in the hallway. Bringing pride to my callsign. I shot the cowardly man who tried to hide in the bedroom without hesitation. He was hiding behind a nightstand. The door opened just enough for his line of sight.

"Wow that was quick I'm guessing that's why they Flash" Soap commented in a low hushed tone, making me smirk at soap.

"Not even close, there's more to come." I look to the ghost who just gives me a cold stare which I immediately ignore and just keep on doing me

As Soaps reach the living room he look around trying to see if Hassan has been here or where his trail will lead us.

"All clear no sign of Hassan"

"What happened to the families here" Soap turned his head to see Alejandro entering the living along with me, ghost and Rodolfo following behind.

"The cartels bring violence so they leave." Alejandro approaches a nearby window closest to the door, spotting their objective just a few feet away. I made my way to the second window, peeking outside for anymore cartel members, only to be met with a peaceful view of the mountains and trees it was a truly beautiful day too bad you would spend it chasing down one troubled man.

"Stand by" Before Soap could open the door, Alejandro extended his hand on it and knelt down next to the window to talk into his radio.

"Victor-2, this is 1-1. deploy smoke. were moving external"

As I heard muffled explosions caused by smoke bombs being hurled in front of me, I heard his footsteps against the hard floor nearby. I notice a ghost behind me and I hear him breathing heavily, which doesn't bother me because of the environment we're in.

"Where's your family Alejandro" I asked with curiosity

"I keep that a secret, hermana. To protect them." The last thing we need with this kind of profession is to include the people we care about in this mayhem, thus I respect him for keeping his family and loved ones safe.

'We have concealment" Ghost announced, I enjoy it when guys are taller than me, especially since they have room for me in bed and can just scoop me in one single motion. he was near me, he was practically towering over me compared to my size.

"Let's move" Alejandro rose from the ground

"On me, soap" he nodded

Alejandro took lead, walking out the door to lead ahead through the smoke.

"This is where they were hiding Hassan. Expect resistance"

Alejandro led the group in the direction of the two-story house he had mentioned, which had crisp white walls and a welcoming balcony on the second floor. It was obvious how different it was from the other residences in the village.

A Vaquero opens the door and kicks it down after shooting the doorknob off the frame with his weapon. Alejandro took the initiative once more and threw a grenade, which caused a strong explosion and a brief shower of sparks to stun enemies from attacking us.

I trailed after him, soap following after me then Ghost and Rudy

then, a second door that was on the opposite side of the living room had been broken through. Alejandro's grenade had surprised the adversaries, who were now stunned on the ground due to the effect of the grenade.

"Clear, no sight of hassan."

"Second deck." Ghost advised instantly

"Si. Vamos. Let's move upstairs and get Hassan"

Alejandro took the lead as Soap and I followed closely behind him, following him up the stairs at a steady, cautious pace. Alejandro manages to lower his head just in time after I heard several booming gunshots strike the wall behind him. He and Soap made it to the top floor, eliminated the last few cartel members, and then let us know it was safe to go inside.

The home's final room was incredibly roomy and appeared more like a living room. The last two cartel members were lying dead in the room, one under a small coffee table and the other through a cheap feathered couch cushion, as evidenced by the gunshot holes in his neck and chest.

"All victors, target building secure. Negative on Hassan." Alejandro announced in his comms, he sounded fed up with this man who we are currently chasing.

Ghost walked over to the sole table that had not been turned into a disorganized mess and started looking through a binder that was lying there. When he opened it, he discovered meaningless documents written in various languages. Hassan was rushing to be transferred out of the building and into a secret place.

"They must've moved him" Alejandro walked up to the table's right side and peered down at whatever the ghost was examining left by Hassan.

"They moved him recently." Alejandro looked at me exhaling in disbelief and disappointment.

"Quds force, that's his flag."The enormous, vivid blue flag with a recognizable yellow insignia was ghost pointed out.

"There's no doubt he was here, he's probably not to far from here, we can probably intersect to where he's heading." Alejandro nodded with you agreeing with my intel and ability to read ahead what were to happen next. Im always ten steps ahead everyone .

"your intel is good flash." as soap patted your soldier and gave a soft smile

Out of nowhere an erreie sound of tires groveling the dirt roads, I turn to the nearest window to try and catch a glimpse of the commotion. Vehicles heading our way.

"Vehicles inbounded" I quickly back up from the window and turn to the wall pretty much alerting the people around me.

"Mireda" Alejandro cursed and hurried over to the other window next to me. Soap followed, Rudy and Ghost joined me by the window. Everyone held their breath as the room fell silent.

"What is it?" Every passing car I saw primarily remind out of my sight from the windows as soap asked swiftly watching the strange vehicles making tight turns before coming to an abrupt hault.

"Its the army." Alejandro didn't sound so happy since they decided to show up out of nowhere.

"We got reinforcements" soap who sounded encouraging by this so sudden news

"Negative" Alejandro ordered his squad commanders and their men to leave. He tightened his grip on his gun to the point that his knuckles turned white, making it evident that he was furious with the army.

"What are we doin?" I watched as Alejandro kept his finger on the trigger

"Covering my men" Alejandro repeated, he peeked out the window from where he stood

"You want us the engage the fucking Mexican army?!?!" soap whispered in disbelief

"No hermano, these troops are paid by the cartel to protect Hassan"

"Multiple vehicle, troops transports light armor." Ghost says as I look through the scope of my rifile looking at the things they were transporting and trying to get more intel on what trick the got up their sleves, A sudden sharp minor explosion is followed by smoke that fogs up there cover

"They're deploying smoke." I peered through my scope, I try to focus my attention to at least the nearest targeted soldier.

"Hold your fire let them get close." alejandro says

As many gunshots can be heard around the the village and they are aimed at us, hell broke loose. I did my best to keep a safe distance from the window as I could hear the sound of the glass breaking and to avoid being fired at.

"Weapons free!!" alejandro shouted

Through my scope, I could see soldiers utilizing metal shields as protection, as if it were going to do any good. I saw that their helmets were of poor quality because even when they raised their shield to defend themselves, my bullets still went straight through their skulls.

Soap tried to cause damage and get rid of the men who were blocking our path while carrying only a little quantity of gernades. I was able to shoot those who had been hurt by the explosions and kill them as they came within my field of vision.

"My men are clear! we need to move!" Alejandro announced abruptly and moved away from the window. "Let's go!-"

He had been cut off from large, bulk grenades that were thrown through the broken glass window, landing against the hardwood floor with a thud. One of them had landed near Soap, he back away instantly . But I moved to him fast, grabbing hold of his forearm to pull him away from the blast. bringing him behind you.

the bombs quickly exploded, almost popping your ears. Black marks stained the wood floored board, murky brown clouds of smoke began to fill the room. I could tell that they used mustard gas to try and lure us out which could have work but we ain't going down without a fight.

"Are you okay?" as I landed on top of soap, he could feel your lower hips meet with his crotch, he blushed madly and nodded due to the explosion it didn't matter what weird position I was in all that matter was he was alive and breathing

He grabbed my arm and pulled me in front of him so we could move away from the ejecting gas canisters as I quickly got off of him and assisted him in standing. The gas was beginning to flood my lungs because it had completely eliminated all oxygen. The smell hit my nose and burned it difficult for me to breathe and causing me to cough.

When the wood panels and glass frames of the back window were broken by Alejandro, Ghost, and Rudy, the murky gas that was supposed to be pure mountain air began to seep out of the new area

"On me hurry !" Alejandro braced his leg against the sill and climbed out of the window, yelling as loudly as he could due to the damage the mustard gas was doing to his lungs. He then fell to the ground

I clutch the ledge and lower myself over it. When I jumped and awkwardly landed against the dirt ground, my gloves shielded my hands from glass splinter fragments.

"Army is right behind us!"

"Down the hill! We'll lose them in the mountains" Alejandro insisted." Fan out and stay close!"

"The old route?" Rudy shouted so that his colonel could hear him over the shooting.

"Straight for the bridge!" He confirmed, quickening his stride as he descended the steep slope. Jumping off a rock ledge, I descended the steep, dry dirt slopes after Alejandro and Rudy, with Soap and Ghost close behind.

The Mexican army follows us as we descend to the foothills, trying to flee while firing at us. A tree a few feet nearby was struck by a rocket as it shot through the air. The hit caused the tree to shake, its blackened, damaged bark aggressively creaking as a result of the harm.

My ear drums are damaged by the impact, and all I can hear is ringing and the painful hammering of my heart in my chest.

" Army on the ridgeline!" I heard someone yell out, an uproar of gunfire breaking through shortly after the blast, the soldiers took high vantage points now carried RPG'S with them. As they got closer and closer to the group.

As I took cover behind a rock , after take a couple of seconds regain my composure I joined in on the fight, Even if was in immense pain after surviving an explosion that could have killed if I would have taken a couple of more steps.

as soon as the final man fell from the ridgelines, "Anyone hit?!" Alejandro yelled.

"Flash, you okay, lass?!" Soap instantly looked at me with worried eyes as he saw blood drain out of my ears due to the RPG that nearly hit me. "Im fine!" I quickly nodded at him assuring him that I was okay and ready to get the fuck out of here.

Alejandro led the way once again, leading down to more steep paths downhill, he then stopped at a large rock ledge, the last tree ending at the corner of a steep cliff, giving a beautiful view of the mountains and the greenery terrain with its blue clear skies it was surrounded by that one miss step could end my journey not that I was afraid of heights, I was better than that.

As the group and I keep on advancing with Alejandro leading us to the bridge, As we run I could see the stunning view of the bridge surrounded by the lakes water it was breathtaking, I really wish I could go swimming as in the moment if I wasn't occupied.

Between Rudy and I, a piercing bullet sliced through the rocks, slamming painfully close to my left shoulder, sending shivers down my spine and nearly knocking me off your feet.

"Flash!" his hand clutched hold onto my forearm, preventing me from falling to my death. I cling to his arm, he guides me back firmly against the wall, helping me regain my mind and balance.

Another bullet pierces missing us, Alejandro shouting and commanding us to keep moving jolts me out of my dissociative state. I am then forced to keep moving until my feet touch more stable ground, at which point my hands tighten their grip on my own gun.

I instantly kneel down, look down where I thought the sniper was, and take a firm look through my scope. I watched for the crucial cue, like the smallest head tilt or a glint of sunlight reflecting off the enemy's scope. anything that would reveal their position.

I shot the sniper once I found him crouched by some tree, using the shrubs as cover to hide in plain sight. That one kill alone gave me redemption It turned the tables around if we were going to make it out of here.

"Good shot, that was amazing" Soap cheered me on as the group and I continued to advance, going up to the next available ledge, where I hauled myself up to continue. Because of all the running and hiking, my legs were on the verge of giving out. My knees and calves were burning and begging for a respite, but the rush of adrenaline coursing through my body compels me to continue.. Part of me wish this would come to end and hoping we catch that bald header fucker.

Upon sliding down another ledge, I regrouped with Alejandro as he froze at another

"you led us to a dead end mate!"

"We have to jump, hold on to your weapons!" Alejandro yelled and threw himself off the cliffside catching me off guard. Ghost and Soap were in total disbelief of what Alejandro did but hey did make the right call beside what other option did he have.

"The lad's gone mad!" Soap who was getting cold feet, I place a hand on his shoulder "You got this Soap! Its this or death." I exhaled slowly bracing myself before taking two steps back, the growing "butterflies" that filled your belly.

I sprang off and felt the wind blowing through my hair and clothes, chilling all the sweat that had accumulated on my face from the continual running and battling. I kept my weapon near to me and safely in my arms. I've never felt so light, and it gave me the impression that I was going to take off. This was the best and most insane thing I have ever done, and if I lived that long, I would definitely do it again.

My entire body felt instantaneously chilled as soon as it made contact with the frigid waves. I breached the lake and was devoured by the floods. When I opened my eyes, the lake's bottomless abyss and the surrounding blue and green crystal pure waters were both visible to me.

It was so peaceful I just wanted to stay there forever.

#graves mw2 #johnny mactavish #alejandro vargas #soap x y/n #call of duty rodolfo #call of duty #cod mw2 #ghost mw2 #soap mactavish #mw2 spoilers #story update

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tsarisfanfiction · 2 years ago

Text

Before and After

Fandom: One Piece Rating: Teen Genre: Family Characters: Law, Penguin, Shachi, Heart Pirates

Law’s life was divided into Befores and Afters.

Whew, it's been a while since I last wrote any Heart Pirates (or One Piece at all) but clearly these characters are still embedded in my muses because finding their characters again wasn't any challenge at all (which was a relief). In fact, it's been so long that Hakugan's name hadn't been revealed yet, so I've now got to figure out where to place him in my version of the crew's dynamics...

I joined @stereden's Winter Exchange this year for the first (but hopefully not the last!) time, and my match was Castled_Rook, whose prompt options included some Heart Pirates found family (which is, hopefully obviously, what I went for), which has always been my favourite thing to write in this fandom, so that was a perfect match as far as I was concerned :D Hoping they agree after seeing this fic!

There's a warning for this fic but I'm not entirely sure how to word it, so hopefully this will suffice: a character considering if they would have wanted to live if they'd had the time to think in a life-threatening situation.

Law’s life was divided into Befores and Afters.

Before the Flevance massacre. After the Flevance massacre.

Before Cora-san. After Cora-san.

Aged thirteen, those two Befores and Afters had encompassed everything he was, with the underlying weight of white lead cloying in his body, destroying him from the inside out.

Losing his family had destroyed him. Losing Cora-san had obliterated him from existence.

Law had never thought he’d outlive the clumsy idiot who meant well but screamed incompetence with every blunder. In hindsight, when his thoughts were clear from ever-present fevers and resignation paired with desperation, Law realised he hadn’t wanted to outlive Cora-san, hadn’t wanted to lose and grieve a man that meant so much to him.

He’d already outlived his family once.

Then he outlived his family again.

Law could acknowledge that it was a good thing he hadn’t realised he’d felt that way back on Minion Island. If his mind had been – not clearer, but sharper, more self-aware, he might not have followed Cora-san’s last wishes.

He might not have lived.

Law loved Cora-san, but did he love him enough to live for him when he’d left him without a family again? Evidence pointed to yes, because that was exactly what he’d done, but Law was aware, with the cold, harsh truths of hindsight, that if he’d focused on a different emotion, on losing family rather than destroy the world (destroy Doflamingo)… the answer may not have been yes.

It was a good thing the cards had fallen in the order they did.

Not to say Law was glad Cora-san was dead – that was so far from the truth even a liar like him couldn’t even begin to try and say it; the clumsy idiot had no right to leave him like that, no right to go and die to save him when he should have lived for him – but Law would forever be eternally grateful that he had lived. That Cora-san had saved him.

If he had died, he would never have met his crew. His nakama. His third (and final) family.

Law had no way of knowing if he would outlive this family, too. The pattern in his life suggested that it was a possibility, but also Law was no helpless child any more. He was a Captain, a Supernova, a feared member of the Worst Generation, powerful enough to rub shoulders with some of the greatest on the seas (or go toe to toe with them in battle).

He was a doctor. A surgeon. And he had the Ultimate Devil Fruit to back him up.

He was no god, but he could play at being a god, play with lives and who lives and who died for as long as he drew breath – and his crew? His nakama, his family?

Law refused to outlive them, too.

“You’re brooding again.”

Penguin slid onto the bench next to him, pushing a fresh mug of steaming coffee in front of him and taking a loud drink of his own. “Beri for your thoughts?”

Law ignored him, wrapping his fingers around the mug and watching the letters EATH stand out on his fingers while the D of the thumb opposed them. The metal transmitted the heat straight into his skin, almost hot enough to burn.

“Law?”

“It’s nothing,” he told his nakama. Penguin made a disbelieving noise, but something must have convinced him to drop it because he didn’t push any further – although the next slurp of his own drink was obnoxiously loud in a way that Law was more used to hearing from Shachi.

They’d grown up together. Penguin had been Shachi’s older brother the younger’s entire life – not by blood, but Law had learned twice over that blood wasn’t the rule of family (look at the Donquixote brothers, look at Cora-san and Law, look at his nakama). Shared habits and obnoxious traits were hardly a surprise.

Law didn’t let himself wonder what shared habits he and Lami might have developed, in time. Didn’t let himself remember the ones that had started planting their seeds already, before being suffocated out by white lead and a blaze of fire.

(Didn’t let himself dwell on the fact that her face had long since faded from his mind, and that all he remembered was her big, gap-toothed smile, and I love you, nii-san! echoing in the depths of his ears.)

As if summoned by Law’s stray mental observation, or perhaps Penguin’s mimic of his own drinking habits, Shachi materialised on his other side, throwing himself onto the bench with aplomb and almost spilling his own mug of dark bliss. The smell rising from his own coffee was tinted with something else, and Law knew the news his nakama had for him before he even opened his mouth.

“Bepo says we’re coming up on the island,” the ginger reported, taking a slurp loud enough to rival Penguin’s and smacking his lips together obscenely. “We’ll reach it in a few hours at our current speed.”

It wasn’t an island that held any real significance for them – it was just the next one on the route to Laugh Tale, although the fact that it was on the route at all, the fact that it was a New World island, meant it was one to be approached with caution. Law – and Penguin, Shachi, Bepo, all his nakama – had read up what they could find on the islands of the New World and thought they knew which one they were coming up on (and, more importantly, who it was currently in control, which Yonkou’s territory they were encroaching on this time).

An island on the horizon meant more conflict, and if nothing else, Law could plan for those, at least.

“I want everyone in the infirmary between now and then,” he said, and Shachi hummed, draining his mug and letting it hit the table with more force than strictly necessary.

“Already spread the word,” he said, and once upon a time Law would have hated that Shachi knew and shared his orders before he even alerted Law, but it had been thirteen years since Swallow Island, and two older teenagers with makeshift weapons and a cowering mink cub.

Thirteen years.

He’d had ten years in Flevance. Three with one or other Donquixote brother.

He’d spent those two lengths of time combined with the three of them, and despite his thirteen year old self’s attempts not to let anyone in ever again, that had been a battle he’d lost before it’d even begun, and Law was glad for it.

There was no-one in all four Blues, no-one in the Grand Line, no-one in the world, that knew him better than the trio he’d founded the Heart Pirates with, and once upon a time Law would have recoiled violently at the idea of being known.

Now, as he gave a nod of acknowledgement, it was a fact of life, a safety net to catch him when he needed it.

(And it went both ways; they knew him but he knew them, knew the little tics and habits that lurked beneath the concealing hat, behind the dark shades, beyond the thick white fur. He knew Shachi had spread the order because he, too, worried about their nakama and the fact it only took a stroke of bad luck to take someone away forever. He’d known they were coming up on the island before the ginger had even opened his mouth by the smell of mocha because Shachi only indulged in that particular mix of caffeine and comfort when there was an expectation of conflict in their near future. He knew, already, that Penguin would be the last into the infirmary, letting Law remove his vital organs only once the rest of the crew had undergone the same surgery because he knew his armament was the best in the crew and if they were caught early, he had the best chance of protecting his own body.)

He drained his own mug and stood up, gesturing wordlessly for Shachi to follow him while Penguin gathered up their mugs with a mutter he didn’t mean about it not being his job to clean up after them. Penguin would be last, but Shachi was always first.

(If Law didn’t fear long term consequences of keeping his nakama’s vital organs out of their bodies, Shachi’s would never be in his body, not with his non-existent armament.)

The procedure was quick and painless. Shachi had been through it so many times he didn’t even react when the gelatinous cubes erupted from his body and Law Shambles’d them into their allocated place with the secure vault deep within the Tang, not even taking a moment to readjust before hopping off the bed and pulling his tank top back on – Law didn’t need his nakama to take their tops off to get at their organs, but the less in the way, the less potential there was for something to go awry, and Law was a big fan of minimising risks to his nakama. The shades were next, covering closed eyes, before Shachi threaded his arms back through the sleeves of his boiler suit and yanked the zip up with a familiar zzzhp, snapping the covering flap into place.

“Thanks, Law,” he grinned, clapping him on the shoulder before tugging his hat onto his head.

Law didn’t need thanks, not when the action was always inherently selfish – he wouldn’t outlive his nakama if his nakama didn’t die – but Shachi had taken to thanking him every time and Law had never admitted his selfishness out loud, even though he knew Shachi knew him well enough to understand why he did it.

(There was also the fact that Shachi seemed to lose all self-regard once his organs were removed, revelling in the pseudo-immortality it gave him and taking risks that made Law’s own heart want to leap out of his chest because he knew he could, trusted Law to put him back together whatever befell him. Law didn’t particularly want thanks for enabling that streak of Shachi’s either, but his single-minded ferocity in battle had saved other nakama more than once, so it was something Law just had to live with. Shachi wouldn’t stop anyway, no matter what he ordered, asked, or begged. It wasn’t in the ginger’s nature to hold back when his loved ones were in danger – it was a trait they shared. A trait the whole crew shared, for better or worse.)

“Send Bepo and Hakugan in,” he said instead, because while Bepo was one of the less fragile members of the crew and per breakable hierarchy should be near-last, he needed Bepo on navigation and battle ready as early as possible, and Hakugan had a way with the Tang’s helm that necessitated him there at the first signs of trouble, so he needed to be ready early.

Shachi flicked him a lazy salute, carefree and disrespectful of the origin because Shachi hated pirates the most but he hated marines, too, and disappeared as Ikkaku poked her head around the door, oil streaked through her hair and splattered across her boiler suit.

“Reporting for organ removal duties, Captain!” she chirped, and Law waved her to take a seat. After her came Bepo and Hakugan, as requested, then the rest of the crew filed in, some alone and others in groups, with Jean Bart and then, finally, Penguin rounding off the crew.

This was not a new routine; his crew knew how to work around their organ removals and their island ahead duties with ease of practice, and Law trusted Penguin and Shachi to keep everything running smoothly from the command room as he went through the motions of making each of his nakama, his family, just that little bit harder to kill.

Law’s life had been a series of Befores and Afters.

Before Swallow Island. After Swallow Island.

Before the Heart Pirates.

There would not be an After the Heart Pirates. Jack, and Zou, had come closer than Law ever wanted to come (the only time in years his nakama had faced a battle with their organs in their chests, vulnerable to not just injury but poison) but for as long as Law could do something about it, it would not happen.

There would be no After his family. Not this one.

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