#so maybe thatll happen soon

[squidartism]

Hhi. Hello. I've never posted the oc I'm absolutely insane over. This is Citrus Orange Diamond. This is his newest ref piece from a few days ago. He's. I'm so crazy in love w/ him yall don't even understand

He's transgender he uses he/him if I see ONE wrong pronoun. Lazers will shoot out of my eyes and blow up buildings

[comet-frog]

o yea pfp change jumpscare

[uygfiug]

ive been feeling very alive? these past few days

[shimp-heaven]

[nomairuins]

sighhhhh made an entire schedule for an imaginary 3mo baby. and wrote down a bunch of notes about how to take care of my imaginary 3mo baby. but then i got rly sad bc i started writing notes about how im going to be working 8 hours a day 5 days a week during the majority of the babys awake time and now im a bit sad . whatever

[loverboybitch]

think i am finally going to quit the job that i hate.//.

[transformation4life]

I want to make people happy, bht have been struggling to make that happen, so i thought, well, might as well give someone a chance to use me to fufill their dreams. Mind transforming me into something thatll make ya real happy?

So you want to be something that makes me happy? Well that's the first someone asked for that. Well I'm into a lot of things so let's look into two scenarios!

As you might be able to tell, korean men are something I'm into so how about we say...

You awaken from a slumber as your phone rings from an unknown caller. Despite your usual attitude of ignoring such calls you were so groggy you decided to answer the phone. The call started and all on the other side was loud static and maybe some words like "muscle", "korean" and "growth", but you were barely awake to even understand anything and the call eventually ended. You were very confused and just shook it off as some weird scam, promptly going back to sleep. Unbeknownst to you your body was slowly being remodeled into the perfect korean bodybuilder as your shirt tightened and your pecs ballooning up as well as other muscles growing. By morning you were already the perfect korean bodybuilder snoozing real cutely.

You awaken from your slumber not realizing you were a big hunk, scratching your head as you headed your way to your bathroom. You looked into the mirror and couldn't believe your eyes. You were hot! You quickly took your shirt off and took no time in flexing for the mirror.

As you flexed, the memories of a korean bodybuilder replaced your own current memories until the korean man you saw before you was all you knew. Of course your apartment was now a house and you had a youtube video to make so you turned on the camera and began to speak.

"안녕하세요 여러분 황철순입니다" (Hello everyone, Hwang Chul Soon here.)

The video making process without a hitch and you uploaded the video and the comments came rolling in. One comment intrigued you though by a someone named "Transformation4life"

"Nice muscles" They said. You wanted to get to know them better and we'll just have to see where that goes...

----------------------------------------------

And that's one possibility... But you know I also like big strong burly guys so...

You make you way to the gym after finally getting the courage to finally get big.

"Oh a newbie!" the large front desk clerk remarked. You didn't expect the clerk to be big but he was pretty good looking.

You sign up for the gym membership pretty quickly and the clerk smiled.

"Now that you're signed up all members get a cool free set of headphones! Enjoy!" The clerk reached into a cabinet with a set of headphones and handed them to you. You completely forgot to get yours so this is convenient.

After putting your extra set of clothes in your assigned locker you make your way to a workout machine and plug the headphone jack in to your phone and the the headphones into your ears with your favorite music blasting and pick up the weights before you. You begin to lift and lift and lift and lift. Despite your inexperience somehow you felt like you've been doing it for multiple years. When you finally feel like you're finished you feel... different. You look down and see that... woah! You have beefed up in size in a flash. Your pecs are meaty yet bouncy, bodyhair all over, strong biceps, a manly bear, and even a tattoo? The pure masculine energy now emanating from you was enough to make you want to flex ripping your shirt right off in the mirror.

That flex was a trigger that caused a whole slew of memories to seep into your brain as you were rewired to be a years experienced bodybuilder who loved being a manly man. The memories made you flex again with a lot more cockiness never felt before.

Before getting back to your routine workout you notice someone that's inexperienced in working out and is having trouble with their workout. Being the bodybuilder you are you approach them and so something begins perhaps....

-------------------------

And that's just two possibilities... either way thanks for the opportunity to write this kind of thing i appreciate it!

[spear-gsun]

I apologize for another prediction question, but with the information and themes from this chapter added onto February's, how do you think this might end? What will happen to Satori? Will she be punished by the oni or Mizuchi? And for that matter, how will Mizuchi mix in with the rest of Gensokyo? Will she just, give up when Reimu faces her? Or will she just be allowed to rampage more because the only alternative is a greater evil that is the lockdown?

It's alright, always interested in discussing this manga with people!

So, in this chapter, we finally get to see the other residents of the Palace of Earth Spirits. It seems like Koishi and Okuu are still on Satori's side, but weren't informed of the lockdown. I'm really interested in seeing what those two are gonna do, if theyre gonna run into Mizuchi and Yuugi, and what exactly might happen if they do. Perhaps Mizuchi and Yuugi will try to get them on their side by explaining the situation, or maybe they think Koishi and Okuu will stay loyal to Satori no matter what, who knows. This manga has had a big emphasis on how much and how little the characters trust eachother, so i feel like a confrontation like that would be cool yknow?

Now the other half of the chapter with Parsee and Yamame. The Former Hell Restoration Lockdown is very interesting, another thing to add to the huge amount of Former Hell lore we've gotten recently. I'm not really expecting it, but i think it'd be cool to hear more about the process of Satori moving in and taking over Former Hell. my fingers have been crossed for some sort of flashback chapter to back when Mizuchi was still alive, perhaps we could get something like that for Satori when she first came to former hell as well, though i highly doubt thatll happen lol

Since Yamame and Parsee dont seem to care very much about breaking the rules of Former Hell, maybe theyre gonna team up with Mizuchi and Yuugi soon? Cause i'm still so set on the idea that Mizuchi is gonna gather a bunch of allies from Former Hell with the help of Yuugi, hell, maybe all the spirits protesting was encouraged by those two? We'll just have to wait and see

Honestly i dont really have any big new predictions or theories from this chapter, feels like we still need like one more chapter of set up before we get into the good stuff. Like, we still don't know what the deal with Remilia and Sakuya's conversation was, and we still don't know the whereabouts of Flandre which i have a suspicion might be related to that thing with Remi and Sakuya. (though characters disappearing for a while and coming back later with nothing having happened to them isnt a new thing in this manga)

This was another good chapter though, continues to give me confidence that this manga will end in a way i like. I'm hoping that they'll be able to reach some sort of deal with Mizuchi that can give her some closure on her grudge. I want her to have a happy ending

[glitchyvoice]

hello everyone!! ive been super busy lately so i wanted to give a quick update on stuff since art and writers block have been kicking my ass

(update under the cut)

firstly, ive been moving my rbs over to @glitchyreblogs. so if uve been wondering why ive been less active i havent been, ive just been rbing stuff over there instead

second, ive started putting my stuff up on bluesky and twitter (which are linked below since tumblrs being stupid as per usual), so feel free to check me out over there as well if u want!!

lastly... fates twine. yes im still working on it. ive decided to take a step back and look at how i write. ive been working on a bunch of worldbuilding stuff thatll make the fic better in the long run. so yeah, itll probably be a while but its not like. cancelled or anything

as for future plans... i want to start up tiktok again, as well as make patreon and open commissions.. im also still working on a proper intro card. i hope thatll be done soon but with my current stuff going on its been a bit hard so uh. no promises on when anythings happening. in essence the ao3 authors curse hit SUPER hard and shits been crazy. maybe ill put it all in an authors note but well see

so yeah thats all i wanted to say!! thanks for reading guys

[docilepillow]

MARCH 2024 MEDIA DIARY 2

I ran out of embed space on the first post i had slotted in for this!!! So i'm making two posts!!!!!!! They belong together!!!! Okay!!!!!!! PIZZA TOWER < this game is soggy goop >

Even though I cleared a good portion of this game nigh a year ago now, i still feel compelled to put it on my media diary now, as i've only just got around to finishing the game properly! I believe the point i dropped off the game before was at Pig City, which, i think , is kinda understandable given how big that level is, but, was probably a real bummer for the whole of my friend group who were super into the game when it was new and i probably missed out on talking about it alot with them... POOP!!!! just because this game is popular enough to actually warrant talking about it with my friends later, instead of saying stuff like how i enjoyed the silly cartoony art stlye and the games general charm, im just going to post a level tier list i made the second i beat the game at like near midnight kinda hazy-minded without thinking on it too hard without thinking too deeply in a way thatll be completely inflamitory bc im mostly satisfied with the experience i had and dont really feel the urge to P rank anything --

The stats are saying my total hours round up to 6 hours 50 and pepinno is pointing at me Aughh

My , , Errr, " CRITISISM " of this game is that the funny pizza man is a little, erm, STICKY? Kinda gross. a little weird. Partially my fault. I'm sowwy. I'm not very good at this game but i absolutely respect everyone's opinion on it . Go watch my friend @shoppncart's speedrun, by the way, it's cool :

Speedy! THE MARIO MOVIE < the bario boooby geheheheheheheh >

this is probably a tired opinion but since i was subjected to this movie for the fifth time in a voice call my take is thaat this is probably more enjoyablel then the safeass illumination film. like. yea. that films probably objectively better but. id rather watch something thats an actual adaptation. like this movie. where basically nothing mario happens outside names . Aw. i honestly think this movie has intrigue to it genuinely maybe im saying this bc its one of the movies ive actually watched repeatedly before, like roger rabbit, but i think the history behind this movie and the old anamocity turned-endearment are what make it worth watching. that and its a little goopy You Guys Wanna See Some MM2 Proggys? not a new piece of media technically but ive been playing a fuckton of MM2 recently still as of the end of the month and its absolutely dominating my time as of late, and i kinda wanna show off a small amount of the progress ive made on it, as much as the world map, at least --

It's a media diary. it exists to document MY gaming life. Deal. anyway in regards to it i'm almost finished with the world 4 castle, which is crazy, because before i hadn't even finished world 2, but now i got all of this creative energy in me... If i finish this soon enough, i'd be able to upload it on NSO, so keep your tumpler eyes peeled, mutrals :J I personally like it because theres a theme of aescending on the world map. The space theme in this looks the best, i think.. THE ALCHEMY OF US - HOW HUMANS AND MATTER TRANSFORMED ONE ANOTHER < what the fuck ????? a book ??????? >

yea thats right im reading books this ones actually pretty good apparently a 2020 bestseller though im not in the habit of reading those often so i'll just have to take their word for it on that aspect. i think lifes all about trying new things so around halfway through the month i picked up this cool book i found at my library and got a library card. After reading through it all, i think anecdotally that this book is a very neat read. theres a few sentences that're a little offputting to my young mind but overall the book is filled with alot of cool insight i reccomend checking out if youre the boooky type of person! i think its very good and im glad i picked it out :) i donnu how many of these will be going onto my media diary in the future or anything , but maybe i will if i end up reading more! I'll have to make it up to a friendd for waiting till now to put up something i read here first before that thing she likes. oops.

Volp. OUTSIDE of the traditional media format again, also, are things i largely started on this month but don't think i'll be making all too much more progress in, or if i'm unsure i'll finish what i was doing all in one month- CASTLEVANIA THE ADVENTURE- REBIRTH

POINT OF DROP OFF - STAGE 4 END BOSS REASON BEING - UMMM SORRY I GOT DISTRACTED AND DIED TOO MUCH

castlevania rebirth is a really really cool game. its really cool and im not typing this as fresh as everything else because it was something i picked up for one big sitting earlier in the month. i probably couldve finished it at any point during the week, but simply was too distracted and wanted to do other stuff. It's very cool though, i love the vector sprite art, and there ARE silly stock sound effects everywhere, which is always a big positive for me . I mostly just like how snug the wii classic controller is , and this is a cool game to play it with considering its one of the only non virtual console or old game collection style games available for wii in this exact style ( Not counting the good handful of games that choose to use the wiimote on its side instead. )

over all ill probably sit down and finish this someday soon i just gotta like find time for it whenever next my wii u is plugged in ( it fights for an hdmi slot with my switch and ps4 all the time...! ), and ill probably end up trying to play punch out wii at the same time, given one doesnt dominate my attention over the other. From my understanding they're both short, though, so it shouldnt be too big a deal or obstacle no matter how long i put this off. RANDOM TERRARIA PLAYTHROUGH terraria playthru 1million

ii just really want to see the new terraria update Waaaah... i stopped having fun because i self imposed myself to not use setbonus armor sets at the part of the game where that stops being acceptable anymore so im stopping i think i did get to make another terraria pet though that makes me happy POINT OF DROP OFF - the mechanical bosses

also the most recent thing is

i got too tense and needed to excuse myself after like an hour 30 i cant take too much tension in movies i was really uncomfortable and had to leave to take a breather bc the main character gets put in a really really shitty situation and it was getting hard to watch for my autistic ass

thats enough i think thanks for coming see you next month lol

[lion-buddy]

THE WONDERFUL PRETTY CURE MOVIE CAME OUT?!?!?!?!

yeah i saw!!!

everyone over at bird site [derogatory] was posting abt it lol. i didnt realize it was gonna happen so soon.

some stuff was revealed that i want to mention, but to avoid spoiling ppl itll be under the cut

while i havent been watching wonderful actively, i have been keeping track of it from the sidelines and asking friends their opinions on it. seems silly and fun! the villains and conflict seem interesting too, and i find it funny that no one seems to trust the unicorn thing lol. aside from general character dynamics thats about the extent of my knowledge on the series. im planning on checking out the movie once its up on sites, which who knows when thatll happen. i think its scheduled for international release by the end of october but idk if thats accurate to the US. bleh.

the one thing i was looking forward to with wonderful was seeing what they were going to do with daifuku. i know the theory was mid season cure, but now i think everyones confused?? it seems like he and satoru are getting some sort of role in the movie, but im unsure if theyre supposed to be precure. i wont lie, their designs dont really feel like precure outfits. something feels missing when i look at them, especially when put next to the others. maybe theyre too simple? idk. i do like their hats tho, and daifuku's civilian outfit is cute. but maybe theyll grow on me, or maybe theyll just be movie exclusive. we'll just have to wait and see

im also very interested in seeing what they do with the 3D aspect, i think its a medium that will tie in well with the video game theme. ive watched all stars memories, and that movie has some super cool 3D animation. im hoping they can do something fun like that again.

prediction, when i do watch the movie i think im gonna end up liking natsuki lol. idk what her role is supposed to be exactly, she may just end up being one note. but i really like her design, the mask is so gender.

[quodekash]

...

please tell me im not the only one who laughed hysterically at this

oh no

ohhhhh no

mysterious inidentifiable package for joke? this cannot be good

FRICK

FRICKFRICKFRICKFRICK FRICKY MCFRICK FACE

JOKE, CALL ZO RIGHT THIS INSTANT

CALL HIM

PLEASE CALL HIM

okay even better than calling, he's leaving to go find him

he should call him to have immediate contact with him like. while hes driving the car or something. get jeng to hold the phone and put him on speaker just to make sure

GUIVOERHISDBOVJNREPIOJSDNGOUVEWJLS

NO

NO

YOU FOOL

YOUVEV FALLEN RIGHT INTO THE TRAP

IDK WHAT THE TRAP IS BUT YOUVE FALLEN INTO IT

OH P H E W

THE RELIEF THAT JUST FLOODED THROUGH ME IS PHENOMENAL

sorry for the terrible screenshot zo/dunk, i panicked

PFFFT

THIS IS SO FUNNY TO ME FOR SO MANY REASONS THAT I DONT FEEL LIKE EXPLAINING RIGHT NOW

because its really clear that joke and nita aren't dating anymore

G0IOP3H4LERGS

OH BOY I AM VERY VERY FRIGHTFUL

she's so uncomfortable and scared

i wish all of this had never happened

okay, maybe instead of fighting we should perhaps... call the cops??

i mean like. acab but like, they're the only ones who can legally deal with this situation and i feel like thatll be the best solution for everyone

okay, so someone's already called them? good

okay but... his expression is kinda hot

i have said time and time again that she is the number 1 jokezo shipper

look at that expression

look at her smile

she knows

we know she knows

she knows what theyre gonna do as SOON as she's gone (and i also know bc ive seen so many gifsets of the scene that's coming and im so excited)

HELL YESSSS

AAAAASAHFDSHFHDASDHDBFADHS

LIKE SERIOUSLY DAMN

THAT WAS A WONDERFUL ENDING

what

what was that preview

it seems like eveyrhting's falling apart next episode

what the hell was that

im so scared

um. frick. okay then.

[dollfaceksj]

okay clover, im finally out of work & ready to give my review/analysis. but beforrrree that, I can totally relate to that anon with being delulu & thinking yk who I am by my typing style and because I was kinda the first to start these long ass analysis💀i am humbled now bcs your inbox is flooded. BUT OKAYYY back to it ! as you may or may not know tehe im a slut for angst so I actually loved this chapter don’t kill me guys, different strokes for different folks ig .. I haveeee to compliment you on the way you write because as soon as I started reading the first few sentences, my heart sunk & I literally felt everything oc was feeling. It was so descriptive & literally just so well written! But once I realized how angry Tae was omggg was I scared for oc. I can understand the betrayal tae feels but I think he went overboard with airing her business out like that! I’m not sure if he aired both their business out like that with the intention of doing it so they break it off. I feel like he knows them both well enough to know that this could possibly end them. Both pieces of information was extremely personal and really hurtful/harmful to what they’re in the process of building. I don’t want to think tae would sink that low but in the heat of the moment, nothings off limits. I understand & sort of sympathize with Tae because when I get mad I say some pretty shitty things too (im working on it!) im not saying it’s okay AT ALL what he did, but I can understand it! I was wondering when you wrote “but Taehyung loves you. He grew up with you. He knows you like the back of his hand. You're family and there's nothing that will change that. He'd do it again in a heartbeat.” Was this her thoughts or was it Tae’s, would he actually do it all again? Because if yes :( if no :((. Also "Who do you think will get the blame when you suddenly start slacking with your grades because you're getting fucked over by some guy?" OMGG did this go everyone’s head!! Like why didn’t jk say anything?? Like i get if he would’ve said something he could’ve just made Tae blow up even more .. but like he basically said you’re gonna fuck her over & you didn’t defend yourself, you had no rebuttal.. so is it because Tae’s right??!? OMGOMGN THIS MAY BE ME JUST OVER REACTING BUT also 👀👀👀. Then he drops the whole pregnancy thing !!!!! That was shitty asf tae, that was not your business to tell! Honestly oc stronger than me because the whole situation was emotional asf & I would’ve broke down as soon as Tae raised his voice at me & looked at me with disappointment in his eyes :( I couldn’t take it :((( the timing was terrible too, oc lowkey initiated the whole going raw thing so I could understand if Jk’s view changes towards her a bit. It does look bad on oc’s part. The whole “oc’s a slut” thing is a big nono bcs it’s life shit happens. Is she irresponsible, reckless & impulsive? Yes. A slut ? No. Also I’d like to point out, we don’t know oc’s entire pov of what actually happened, only Tae’s angry spew of words. For all we know she could’ve been doing it with someone she was really in love with. Also, cumming in someone & wanting someone to cum inside you is a big kink, maybe she got carried away. She’s young okay. Let’s take it easy on her! Even though part of me is saying “oc bitch come on girl!! Twice?? & you’re still at it with your risky games? bffr!!” From Taehyungs perspective I feel like he’s being really misunderstood! What oc did is really fucked up, because yeah him & jk are close but him & her are closer! They’re practically family! He literally gave up his dream school for her, he loves & protects her! If shit goes left it’s not her thatll get yelled at, it’s him .. by BOTH sets of parents. Because he was her responsibility. If I was oc I would literally go in a depressive state bcs, now all I would think about is “does Tae hate me? Does he regret what he did for me? Am I a burden? Did I ruin his life?” Shit is just really sad :(! (Omg it got long again, hold of 1/?)

wow! im so impressed with your analysis! i really read this with a cold drink in my hand like i was reading the morning news paper lmaoooo

to answer some of your questions: 1. who thought "tae would do it all over again" it isn't either of them thinking this. it is my input as the author, it's canon and it's true to what tae would do. he would

2. i understand why you would think that about the fucking over part and why jungkook didn't defend himself, but it was more of a way if jungkook said he wasn't fucking her over or trying to, tae would be confused cause its jungkook and he's known for fucking around so he might've made the connection that they weren't just messing around but that there were romantic feelings involved and he wasn't sure how tae would take that, especially with the mia thing

3. yeah. i tried foreshadowing y/n's strict parents by her being reckless and enjoying her freedom as much as she does. you know what they say, strict parents raise sneaky children

i'll go read your other half now!

[goremet-chef]

vent

i was talking to my grandma and she mentioned the bag on the bookcase in the room shes staying in, and reached for it kinda playfully like obviously not seriously and she said "its artemis" and i jolted my hand back so fast i nearly fell backwards into the door

my brain like.. seized up for a moment

any hopes i had that maybe just maybe she was still alive is obviously crushed to bits now

i hate when she talks about that stuff like im supposed to feel okay with it. i know shes old and shes lost A LOT of pets so she knows how to cope with it, but ive only really lost like.. 4 total

the problem is that those are the only losses i feel? when my family members die i dont feel sad and i dont really mourn, just kinda.. dissociated for a bit and i make sure to be easy on my family when theyre mourning yknow, but i guess thats cuz i think animals dont deserve it, cuz they dont

to me theyre the purest life, because they dont have a mind to hurt people (minus like. dolphins 💀) it tears me up inside because out of anyone, it shouldnt be them

but everything dies. im STILL coming to terms with that

i would have dreams about my grandma dying when i was younger in like. INCREDIBLY violent ways and i woke up next to her and asked her if she was gonna die, and she told me not anytime soon

i was like... 7? maybe? when that happened, 13 years later and im still coming to terms with it. i remember i was on my other grandmas bed in tears when i was 9 because i realized everyone was gonna die and it felt so unfair

it still feels unfair

ive spent my entire life terrified of when i might go, and it keeps me from living at this point. wont ever get on a plane cuz if i do, thats the one thatll decide to crash. never go on a boat because a storm will kill us and ill die in the worst place possible. wont meet new people cuz they probably will kill me, wont eat something if i dont know what it is cuz itll probably kill me, etc etc

theres no.. like theres no point saying "wow i wish death didnt happen" because everyone wishes that. this isnt a unique fear, but man it feels like no one around me is as scared about it as i am. i have to look up like "how to stop being afraid of death" online and its so. it feels as embarrassing as looking up how to talk to people but i need both of those

it didnt really help, though. still terrified, still waiting. yknow how it is

[quirkybisworld]

Men

I love men, sometimes. I have such a complicated realtionship with them though. Ive never dated one ever. I used to get huge crushes just by looking at one, but now i dont. Then they never like me back. If they do like me back its either too late or i dont feel the same anymore. One time i was talking to this man. He was cute and very sweet, but it was to rushed for me. I did get a crush on him but it was too rushed for me. Everything was happening to fast for me. He would ask me out and really try to get with me, but i always declined. I was also going through a lot. I feel like im always going through a lot though, but i truly was at this moment whether i saw it or not. My friend approved of him which was good. No matter how hard i tried to get myself to date him, i just couldnt. This went on for about a month until my friend said i should jsut be honest with him and tell him that i am not going to date him anytime soon. So i did. He handled it very well, and said something sweet probably, but we would still talk as friends. Later on he tries to get with me again, im pretty sure, and again i declined. Even more time went by and i was manic. I felt like getting a boyfriend cause again manic, i get very spontaniase. So i asked him out. He said idk. Remind you lots of time went by and lots of things happened. So he wasnt sure. HE wanted time to think. So i gave him time to think. We talked and he thought. A couple weeks later he gave me an answer, and the answer was no. I felt bad. I was very depressed too at this moment too. I didnt talk to him after awhile, but i wasnt rtalking to most people. Then one day he unadded me. I have tried to reach out and everyting, but i cant get a response. My friend made me unadd him on Facebook recently. I noticed soemthing about me. I would only ever date if i truly have a huge crush on them. It also get sscary on how much i would do for them if that means i can get together with them. Other times liek this man for instance, in have a hard time dating. I dont talk about it much. I have to really resally liek them for me to date them. I get so scared. My dream is to be good friends with them before i date them, but thatll be hard to do. I dont quite know what it is, maybe it is commitment issues? I have no idea if i have that. I get scared to lose my independence too. I have gone so long without a relationship that i am so independent now. This isnt a cry out for soemone to date me cause that is NOT what i am doing at all lol. Im jsut ranting for when i do get into a relationship, this stuff i just really wanted to vent was all, and share my weird thing on relationships and men. Thankssssssss i also wanted to rant about that man grrrrrrrr. Also this other man i really want to rant about too but im bored of this so byeeeeee

[infamyoverinnocence]

seeingyouinmydreamsalwaysseemsmorerealthanthefirsttime. (again, i miss you like no other.)

i met you in a dream. you didnt seem so happy to see me until you said you would kiss me for every chance you didnt get to. still the first words out of your mouth was his name, so i guess reality isnt much different when youre unconscious. /ifyoulovesomethingletitgo. i told you about that letter you might never get. every dream feels realer than the last. now im left with a hole in my chest all day about not being able to see you. maybe soon we can sit in sweetness and i can tell you all ive thought about you. youll understand when you remember my care for you. i wonder why you come to me late and mostly at night. love knows some bounds but you only reciprocate at night. maybe when youre next to him you think of me. but funny i dont even hate him. just hates when he makes you cry, or when he makes you laugh. or when i think of you and him and how happy you may be that you might not even think of me at all. we were playing wars as soldiers we didnt understand yet. borrowed nights and borrowed words. vintage letters and doves that dont send them on time. sorry so many of my words were about him and that fact you would roll your eyes when you hear it. roll your eyes but look at me twice because he wont treat you right. its not the expensive things but i can always give you a paper house. i was always told "its the thought that counts." hopefully it still applies. recently all my words have been "you, you you" but not me being your world. its funny when you finally have an experience and not playing with little toys dreaming of things thatll never happen. but in a certain case i guess thats where i am now. we were a gamble but i always said "place your bets and put em forward".

mywordsarebestwhentheyreaboutyou x ✮⋆˙