#so maybe that’s why it tends to feel like any other normal day

[onlyswan]

hi hi yay it’s finally my birthdAAAYYYY !!!!! 🥳

[go-fornicate-yourself]

Every day I am in the trenches fighting for my life defending this poor man. He was going through so much and people online demonize him and say he's as bad as his abuser

(I've got a lot of thoughts about this so I'll make sure to separate things to make it easier to look at lol)

Curly is a victim of abuse. Jimmy is his abuser. This is something that I feel a lot of people tend to brush over or don't acknowledge it often.

And I'm not just talking about post-crash. Jimmy's abuse of Curly is there pre-crash too. The party scene where the crew learns about the company going under is a huge example of this. Jimmy verbally abuses him, he gaslights him, he blames him for their (his) misfortune. Jimmy accuses Curly of thinking he's better than everyone (better than him), that he doesn't care about them (about him). That he's going leave them (leave him). Which is not true. Curly tries to explain himself but Jimmy shuts him down and he just takes it.

The fact that he just allows this to happen makes it seem like he's used to this... That this kind of behavior is a recurring thing with Jimmy. And the fact that nobody else tries to defend him or stands up to Jimmy just normalizes it for him. When Anya tells Curly what Jimmy did it catches him off guard. Bc he genuinely didn't think that his friend was capable of that. It wasn't something that was obvious to him. There were absolutely many red flags in the past but they were subtle enough for him to not see them bc he cares for Jimmy, he trusts him. Jimmy's the only one he feels he can open up to, who he can let his guard down with. Jimmy's his home. That's how close they are.

Because of this deep love for his friend and the subtlety of Jimmy's cruelty, he doesn't see the constant verbal and emotional abuse as what it is: abuse. Which is why he finds Jimmy's abuse towards Anya so shocking and jarring.

He isn't a man covering for his rapist friend bc of the 'bro code'. It does look like that from a certain angle and it's understandable why people see it that way but that's not what his character is really about as much as it makes sense otherwise.

He's essentially a battered housewife who's still in love with her husband but is realizing for the first time that the man she loves is a monster. That the man she loves and devoted her life to has been hurting her this whole time and she didn't even realize it. That the man she loves and spent so much of her life caring for has gone and hurt someone else. That he's most likely hurt others before and she's been utterly unaware of it the entire time she defended him and made excuses for him when he wasn't the best or the fairest or the most responsible or when he screwed up yet again solely bc of how much she loved and cared for him.

And Curly barely had any time to process ANY of that before Jimmy decided to try and kill them all to avoid the consequences of his actions. It was ultimately a selfish act even if he thought he wasn't just doing it for himself. Jimmy is selfish and needs to be in control or he loses it. He cares for Curly. He loves him. Curly's done so much for him. Curly's the only one who understands him, who doesn't hate him. Curly's his home. He resents how 'successful' he is but that's only bc he thinks so highly of him. He constantly puts himself down and put Curly on a pedestal and worships him while simultaneously mistreating him.

He treats his best friend like shit, he's awful to him. But he's not aware that this is the case or maybe he's in denial about it. He can't or just refuses to see how he's doing all of what he does for himself in the end. He justifies his attempt to kill them all (to himself and to Curly) by claiming he's doing this for them both. That if they were to get back to earth it would all be Curly's fault, that it'll ruin his life and career... despite the fact he had basically nothing to do with Anya's abuse. Jimmy's shifting the blame on him while acting like he cares for him. Well, he does genuinely care for him but clearly not nearly enough to not mistreat him or use him as a scapegoat for his own guilt.

Jimmy is the rapist, Jimmy is the one who does all of these horrible things. And yet it's highly likely that Curly would just blame all of it on himself bc that's exactly what Jimmy did to him. He's in so deep he can't see the facts of the situation.

It takes abuse victims so long to come to terms with their abuse. It takes time and reflection to see things with an unbiased and healthy perspective. Abuse (especially years of it) isn't just something you can just escape. It consumes you and can twist your reality. Curly had about a week or less to process all of it and then take action in a way that protected his crew and abided by Pony Express' guidelines. Dealing with something this serious in a setting that makes resolving it extremely difficult in a practical sense is already hard.

There were no locks on any of the doors except for medical and the cockpit. They couldn't just kill him. There was nowhere they could detain Jimmy that wouldn't involve corporate potentially penalizing the entire group. They could have used the cryopods but then there'd only be three available for any actual emergency and there were already five crew members and four pods in total. Also, I doubt corporate would be 'okay' with them using the cryopods for anything other than their intended purpose. Hell, even if they were able to make it back to earth without any incidents there's a good chance that corporate would consider the situation 'poor team synergy' and collectively punish the entire crew for Jimmy's actions.

So on top of having to deal with an already difficult situation, Curly has to grapple with the realization that Jimmy a: abused Anya, b: has been abusing him as well (for a very long time too), and c: has probably abused others before Anya and he had no idea about it. He needed to act but he didn't and it doomed all of them.

But it's so unrealistic (maybe even cruel) to put that much pressure on someone, force them through an utterly earth-shattering realization, and then expect them to do the correct/right/responsible thing in that moment. It's a little ironic how people vilify him for that when other characters do the same thing that nobody blames for it.

Anya is the ship's nurse. Curly is the ship's captain. They both have duties and responsibilities on board the Tulpar. She has to keep the crew healthy and safe and is the only one with enough medical knowledge to do so. He has to make sure that everything goes well and goes according to procedure. He's responsible for the crew, the cargo, and even the ship itself. Both positions are integral and require a lot of responsibility to do properly

They're both put through distressing and traumatic situations where due to them being human people with emotions and fears that make them essentially avoid their responsibility/doing what's required of them.

Curly has a freeze response and doesn't act when he should have when it was crucial to have done so. Anya has a fawn response and essentially puts her patient in danger and harm's way. She knew full well what Jimmy was capable of. She experienced it herself and she witnessed it happening to Curly as well. And yet she allows Jimmy to be alone with Curly while being fully aware of how dangerous he is. Which she shouldn't have, that wasn't the 'right' thing to do. Keeping him safe was her responsibility.

But Anya's human. She's going through a lot at the moment. She's terrified of Jimmy and she's trying to appease him so he doesn't hurt her again. It's a natural very understandable thing to do even if it's not the 'right' or 'responsible' thing. They failed each other when they needed each other most and I think that's the most tragic part of it. If anything, all of them failed each other in some way, shape, or form.

So it's incredibly frustrating to see people give Anya so much sympathy and grace for doing something so human yet still 'wrong' but then turn around and give Curly none of that for doing essentially the same thing she does.

I don't know for sure if it's actually because Curly is a man or if it's only part of it or maybe some people just lack that sense of awareness but it's depressing and frustrating as fuck as a male victim of sexual violence and abuse to see this kind of behavior and this much victim blaming towards a character who is undeniably a victim of abuse like I am.

[7ndipity]

Shy

Yoongi x Reader

Summary: You’re desperately craving your boyfriend's attention, but are too shy to ask for it outright. Luckily, Yoongi knows what you want anyway.

Word Count: 2.1k

Warnings: +18 mdni, smut, swearing, unprotected sex(don’t do this pls), soft dom-ish Yoongi, brief mentions of insecurities, not proofread

A/N: Thanks @theuselessdaydreamingidiot for requesting this! I had so much writing this one, I hope you like it!

Masterlist

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

He had to be doing this on purpose.

Normally, Yoongi could read you like a book, whether that was knowing whether you’d had a particularly rough day or just what food you were craving, all you had to do was look at him and he would know what you wanted.

Which was why his current lack of response to your attempts to gain his attention was so frustrating.

The two of you hadn’t been able to see each other all week due to your work schedules, and to say you were starting to go a little crazy was an understatement. As soon as you got to his place, all you had been able to think about was jumping his bones. Normally, you didn’t consider yourself a particularly horny person, but being without your boyfriend for any extended amount of time definitely tended to make you extra needy.

It didn’t help that your boyfriend in question somehow managed to look so fucking hot all. the. time. Even the simple sweatpants and white tee combo he was wearing was enough to make you clench your thighs together with need in your current state.

You’d tried your best to ignore it through dinner, but once the two of you had cozied up together on the couch to watch an episode of a drama, you couldn’t take it anymore. You were hyper aware of the warmth radiating off of his body, his arm looped loosely around your waist, the scent of his cologne filling your senses and drawing you closer, tucking your face against his neck as the ache in your core grew stronger.

Fuck you wanted him so bad.

Usually, all you needed to do was just give a little hint that you were in the mood to Yoongi and he would take the lead for you, asking in a low voice if you wanted to make each other feel good, an offer that you always readily agreed to.

But tonight, nothing seemed to catch his attention.

You let your fingers dance over his skin, tracing little patterns over his arm, up his bicep to his shoulder and back again, trying to elicit a response from him, but all he’d done was tighten his other arm around your waist ever so slightly.

Deciding to try being a bit more direct, you shifted around in his hold, pressing teasing little kisses along the underside of his jaw, knowing it was one of his weak spots, hoping he would finally catch on to hint at what you wanted.

Yoongi hummed appreciatively, but his attention was still fully locked on the screen in front of you, relaxing further into the couch.

You drew back slowly, frowning in frustration as you studied his side profile.

Maybe he was just really interested in the show, maybe he wasn’t in the mood, you weren’t sure, but you felt too shy and awkward to ask outright.

Giving up, you slipped out from under his arm and stood up.

“Where’re you going?” He asked, finally looking up at you with a small frown.

“I’m tired, I think I’m just gonna go on to bed.” You lied.

“Are you sure?” He asked with a slight pout. “You want me to come with you?”

Yes please! “No, you stay and finish the show.” You pecked his cheek. “G’night, Baby.”

You quickly made your way down the hall to his room, not bothering with a light as you climbed into bed, curling onto your side away from the door, staring at the wall in frustration.

You don’t know why you hadn’t just said yes when he’d offered to come with you, maybe then he would’ve caught on if you’d tried again? Or maybe he was intentionally ignoring you as a way to tease you for your shyness with him.

You don’t know why you always felt so shy to initiate anything sexual with Yoongi, it wasn’t like your relationship was particularly new or anything, but everytime you even thought about saying the same things that Yoongi said to you, they sounded so awkward and unsexy, not at all like when he said them. When he said them, you felt your stomach drop in the best way, your knees turning to jelly as your heart rate picked up. In just a few words, he could completely turn you to putty in his hands, a skill you desperately wished you possessed at times like this. Instead you were laying in bed alone and irritated.

No more than five minutes had passed before you heard the bedroom door behind you open,

Yoongi’s footsteps padding softly across the carpeted room to the bed.

You heard him chuckle softly to himself before the mattress dipped under his weight, quietly sliding under the covers and shifting over till he was pressed against your back, draping an arm over your waist.

“Babe? Are you asleep?” He asked softly.

“ ‘m trying to.” You grumbled, brushing his arm off of you. “I thought you were watching your show?”

“I missed you too much.” He said, nuzzling his face in your hair. “It’s no fun without you.”

You didn’t respond, but he could sense you soured mood

“I’m sorry baby. Was I not giving enough attention earlier?” He wound his arm around your waist again, pulling you close as his lips trailed along your neck and shoulder, mirroring your actions from earlier.

You squirmed slightly against him, not wanting to cave so easily, but his wandering hands and warm breath against your skin flooded your core with arousal, your breath hitching and coming out unsteady.

“Let me make it up to you.” He murmured against your skin, his hand making its way under your shirt, fingers brushing over where your skin disappeared under the material of your sleep shorts.

Fuck, you were so weak for him.

“Please.” You breathed, arching closer to him.

You made a soft noise, something between a whimper and his name as he continued to leave a trail of kisses against the flushed skin of your neck as his fingers slipped under the waistband, creeping lower till they brushed your pubic bone, just shy of where you needed him.

You squirmed in his gentle hold, bordering on desperation now.

“Yoongi,” You pleaded. “Please.” You needed him, and you weren’t sure how much longer your sanity could hold out against his teasing touches.

“I got you, baby,” He assured you softly, retracting his hand. “I’ll take care of you.”

He gently rolled you over, caressing your face before bringing his lips to yours in a tender kiss.

You sighed in relief, looping your arms around his neck to keep him close as he shifted to hover over you, settling between your legs that fell open to accommodate him.

His grip on your waist tightened in surprise as your tongue delved into his mouth, swallowing down the sweet, almost inaudible groan that left him as your wet muscle tangled with his own.

God, you were addicted to the taste of him, light and sweet with a faint bitterness of the wine you’d drank at dinner.

His fingers dug into your thighs, dimpling the flesh as he ground his hips against yours, pressing his growing erection against your clothed core, your arousal soaking through the material of your shorts and making them stick to you slightly.

You don’t know when he removed his sweats, all you were aware of was his fingers hooking in the waistband of your shorts, tugging them down as you lifted your hips to help him remove them, leaving you both bare from the waist down.

“My sweet baby.” He hummed, leaving another trail of wet kisses down your throat as he brushed two fingers through your slick folds, making you hiss as he teased your throbbing clit.

“Fuck Yoongi, please!” You begged. You had lost all patience, shamelessly bucking against his hand to any sort of relief, and in turn breaking any resistance he held.

As weak as you might have been for Yoongi, he was even more so for you, willing to give you anything you wanted and more. You could ask him for the moon and he would find a way to technically give it to you.

Removing his fingers, he shifted position to align the tip of his cock with your entrance. You were so wet and needy already, he slipped into you easily without any prep, sinking in all the way to the hilt in one go, making your eyes roll back in pleasure at finally being filled.

“Fuck, you feel so good, Angel.” He groaned, watching the way your hungry cunt swallowed him so eagerly. He pulled back, rolling his hips into yours slowly, letting you feel every inch and vein of his cock as it dragged against your walls.

“Fuck Yoongi, faster, please.” You practically mewled, clinging to his shoulders.

It was almost embarrassing, how reactive you were, how fast you fell apart for him, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care, all you wanted was for Yoongi to fuck you properly.

The desperation in your voice sent a shot of electricity straight through Yoongi, making his cock twitch inside you as he immediately picked up the pace, plunging back into you quickly and setting a pace that had your toes curling.

His arms were braced against the mattress on either side of you, caging you in while your own hands clutched feebly at his back, nails scraping against his skin, leaving bright red lines and crescent marks in their wake.

Yoongi buried his face in your neck, groaning out with nearly every thrust, not bothering to try and muffle them as he knew they only spurred you further on as well, making you clench and spasm around him.

“F-fuck, Yoongi! I-I‘m close!” You managed to whine out,

“I know, baby, it’s okay.” Yoongi panted, kissing your neck. “Let go, I’ve got you.”

A few more thrusts of Yoongi’s hips were all that it took to tip you over the edge, a sharp ringing filling your ears as your high crashed over you, flooding your senses and causing your muscles to contract and spasm in bliss.

Yoongi followed almost immediately after you, spilling deep inside you with a broken groan, body going stiff over yours as he shuddered through the aftershocks.

He half collapsed on top of you, rolling to the side to avoid crushing you as you both lay there, chests heaving as you tried to catch your breath.

“Feel better?” He asked breathlessly.

“Yeah,” You replied weakly. “Thank you.”

“Anytime.” He grinned, leaning up to kiss your cheek. “Though, you know, if you wanted sex, you could just ask. You don’t have to keep teasing me till I say something.”

“So you were paying attention earlier!” You exclaimed, sitting up to look at him. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I was waiting to see if you would say something first,” He said, sitting up as well. “But then you went off to sulk instead.”

“I wasn’t sulking.” You pouted.

“Yes you were.” He smiled softly, wrapping his arms around you. “What I want to know though is why? Why won’t you ever initiate sex with me directly? You always kinda dance around it till I make the first move.” He looked down at you curiously.

“I don’t know.” You looked down, feeling your face heat up. “I guess I just feel kinda shy.”

Yoongi let out a short burst of laughter.

“Babe, you are one of the least shy people I’ve ever met!” He laughed. “I’ve seen you make friends in the middle of the grocery store after having a full blown debate with someone over the validity of skim milk!”

“That’s different! This is you and me, it’s feels embarrassing!” You buried your face in his chest, earning another chuckle from him. “What am I supposed to do, just jump you as soon as you walk in the door and say 'I need you in me or I’ll die'?”

“I mean, that would be really hot,” He smirked, earning a weak smack from you. “But seriously, you don’t need to feel embarrassed with me. Anytime you’re in the mood, just tell me. Hell, we could even make up a codeword if that makes you feel better.” He offered.

“What, like ‘Pineapple’?” You asked, incredulously.

“Sure, if that’s what you want. As of now, Pineapple means sex.” He announced, making you burst into a fit of laughter of your own.

“You’re insane!” You giggled.

“Only for you.” He said with a grin. “I mean it though, I want you to feel comfortable talking to me about stuff like this.”

You nodded, letting you head rest back against his chest.

“Thank you.” You said. “For not making fun of me.”

“I would never.” He said seriously, pressing a kiss to your temple. “Love you.”

“Love you too.”

You drifted off to the sound of Yoongi’s heartbeat, completely and utterly content.

You did, however, wake up the next morning to several containers of fresh pineapple in the refridgerator.

“You think you’re funny, don’t you?”

“I think I’m hillarious.”

Taglist: @sopebubbles-replies @btsw1fe @this-must-be-my-tardis @whitefoxgirl @bethanysnow @coffeedepressionsoup @main-bangtansmauyeondan @feminympho @a-gayish-unicorn @dfqcsqueen @mother2monsters @captainorangegoose @k4ngelz

[mcuamerica]

Cabin by the Lake | Azriel x Fem!Reader

Featuring: Protective Bat Boys

Summary: Azriel is in a meeting in Autumn, while his family is unprotected from malicious visitors... Requested by anon here.

Warnings: 18+ only, canon level violence, misogyny, threat to child, not proofread

Disclaimer: I do not own SJM’s characters, only the ones I create for the purpose of this story. This is a work of fiction. I do not give permission to repost my work on any other platform or medium. Please be respectful.

Dividers from @saradika

The sun was out in full force on the summer day, beating down on you and Callan, your babe. You decided instead of spending the day sweltering in the cabin, you would gather your things and bring Callan to the small lake. Not too far from your cabin, you could still see the roof from where you sat on the sandy beach. Cal sat up, watching as small fish raced around his fingers.

You sent the image down the bond to your mate, who wasn't with you because of some Court business that needed tending to. Since you couldn't find someone to watch Callan, you decided to stay back. After all, you weren't a trained warrior and didn't do very well as a courtier. You much preferred being a healer for the Court... and watching your handsome mate protect you. And now, all you wanted to be was a mother. You never got a response from Azriel, deeming that he had closed his end for the meeting.

So you read your book, legs spread out on a towel from the cabin. You kept one eye on Cal as you read, enjoying the breeze that swept through the forest. As you reached for one of the many fruits you brought along, you heard a few twigs snapping in the distance. You didn't think much of it, since there were plenty of friendly animals in the forest just outside of Velaris.

When you heard Cal babble, his wings fluttering behind his back, you glanced up. You smiled as he crawled his way over to you, reaching out to be held. You picked him up, smiling when he reached to tug on the small moon necklace that hung from your neck. You whispered to him, silently scolding him as he tugged on it. It was Azriel's first gift to you when the bond snapped, a promise that as long as the moon still lit up at night, he would be there for you.

You heard more twigs snap, this time closer. As you turned your head, you noticed three winged males stalking towards the trees. Your heart beat kicked up as you rose to your feet, praying they didn't see or hear you. No one was out in these woods normally, which is exactly why Azriel chose this spot to build the cabin for your family. So you would be out of harms way when he was gone.

You didn't recognize the males as they walked through the tree line. You hid behind a tree, slightly bouncing Cal to keep him entertained but quiet.

"Come on out, sweetheart... We know you're here." One of the males taunted, his voice deep and brutal. You shut your eyes for a moment, trying to remember something, anything that Azriel and your family had taught you about defending yourself. But with Cal in your arms, there was nothing you could do.

"We want to show the Shadowsinger what messing with our females gets him... See how he likes it when his female isn't under his control anymore." Another male said.

You breathed deeply, tugging on the bond like you haven't before, praying to the Mother that Azriel would feel it. You even lashed out your mind to Feyre and Rhys, hoping they would hear something.

All of the sudden, there was a male two trees away from you. Damn. He spotted you. "I found her boys... and she has a little one with her too. Look at those wings, so breakable."

You held back a whimper, slowly backing from the tree and running straight into one of the males. He was almost a head taller than you, and his wings towered behind him. Cal started to fuss, sensing that his mother was nervous.

"Maybe we can ruin his heir for him too... Since he's made it so easy for our females to take them and run from us." One of them said, the one that spoke first.

The male that stood behind you grabbed your waist, pulling you closer to him. "Nothing to say, sweetheart?" He asked, his breath too close to your neck.

"I-I don't know who you're talking about." You stuttered, hoping you were convincing.

He tsked. "Don't lie.. we've seen you on visits to Ironcrest. We know the Shadowsinger lives in these woods with his... healer wife. No big strong man to protect you know, huh?"

Then you heard a thud on the ground ahead of you. You and the man both looked towards the sound... and beheld the High Lord of the Night Court, seething.

"Take your hands off her." He growled, using what you knew to be his High Lord voice.

You were trembling as the man kept his grip on you, now feeling a blade against your side.

"I would chose your steps carefully, Rhysand. One wrong move and I might just let this knife slip right through this pretty little waist." He said, his voice right in your voice.

You felt the tears run down your cheeks. Why had you never learned to protect yourself? Why did you always have to decline it. If you knew anything... you wouldn't need your family to come in to save you. You wouldn't be fearing for the life of your babe right now.

"I'm doing you a courtesy of giving you a chose. Hands. Off. Now." He said. You heard another thud beside you, and saw Cassian standing there. He made quick work of incapacitating the other two males. You felt slightly better, but not completely. Where was your mate?

"I don't think you understand my reason for being here." He said. "You see-"

You felt a warm splatter of liquid hit the back of your head and side of your face and neck. You let out a scream, finally stepping out of the males grasp. You soon realized it was blood streaming down your hair now, and your mate was the one who slit that males throat.

You breathing quickened as you held onto Cal tightly, who was now reaching for his Uncle Rhys as him and Cassian approached. Once Azriel was in front of you, you let Rhys take Cal and collapsed into Azriel's arms. "I-I couldn't do anything. I-I'm so sorry. They could have hurt Cal a-and-"

Azriel pulled away, cupping your cheeks. "Hey, hey... Don't blame yourself. You are okay. Cal is okay. Breath. It's okay." He said, stroking your cheek as you calmed your breathing. The tears dried up in your eyes, now feeling the calming net of safety that your mate provided. "I'm sorry I wasn't here to protect you." He said, wiping some of the blood off of your cheek.

"Next time, you're going to come with us. Or you'll stay in the House of Wind. I won't leave you here again until it's properly warded." He said and glanced over to see Cal giggling in Rhys's arms at some gesture Cassian made. "I have to keep my promise, don't I?" He asked.

You gave him a small, gentle smile as you heard the giggles fall from Cal's lips. "You always keep your promise." You said, taking a final deep breath.

"And I will always protect you. And our family." Azriel said, leaning down to kiss your head. "Now let's get you cleaned up. I think I want to spend the day at the lake with you." He said, winking at you.

You nudged him and shook your head as the two of you made your way over to your son. "Too soon." You said, though a small fit of laughter fell from your lips.

A/N: Hope you enjoyed!

Main Masterlist

[belovedcloud]

Sick Days | Roommate! Leon Kennedy x Fem! Reader

Notes: Been pretty bedbound recently and thought about how Leon would be if he was sick and had his roommate help him out. This is literally just Leon and you being lovestruck by each other but you both are too scared to say it until he does.

WC: 1.9K

CW: Talks of Ada leading Leon on, nervous Leon but cute outcome. He loves you a lot and just can't convey it well. Fluff, maybe a Part 2?

➽───────────────────────❥

Lazing around in bed was nice every now and again, but that's when you haven't got a tissue shoved up your nose and the highest temperature possible. Leon never meant to get sick in the first place - but when you magically find yourself in a sewer and get stuck in shit-rotting clothes for a good few hours in the cold, it tends to happen. So here he was, trying to breathe properly whilst you tended to him every hour and so. If he wasn't sick he would've thanked you properly by getting you a gift but being bedbound was difficult enough. So his forms of gifts to you were sneezes and coughs as he tried to stomach the pills and cough syrup you gave him.

"Maybe try and not sneeze on my arm..." You jokingly said as he grumbled in bed, wrapping himself in his sheets. "Shut up.." He coughed out as he tried to hide his smile from you, it was impossible to not smile around you. The feelings you gave him were indescribable at the very least. It was like he was a teenager again, fumbling over his words sometimes and not being able to make sense of himself as you would smile at him. Your soft hands swat away the hairs that fell in front of his face as he sniffled, groaning in pain as his head ached continuously. "When can I have my pills again?" Leon asked as his teary eyes travelled up your face, taking in your beauty as you placed down another hot chocolate on the nightstand for him to gulp down any minute by now. "Uhh.. give another 30 minutes, I don't want you feeling even worse because you took your pills too early." You chuckled out as you saw his disheveled state, he really could be dramatic at times. "Fuck.. as if I could be in anymore pain." He muttered, taking the hot chocolate into his hands as he painfully sipped at it, the hot liquid seeping into the cracks of his lips. The lack of hydration causing his skin to dry out.

"Hold on let me get you some chapstick." Seeing you walk out Leon couldn't help but sigh. You were too kind to him, too kind to a man who killed monsters for a living. Yet you wouldn't mind hearing him sob out his monstrous nightmarish stories, you wouldn't mind helping him when he needed help. You would always be there, and that's why he fell in love with you. It took him a while to understand the concepts of love after being lead on by Ada back in Raccoon City. But he got there in the end and he was content with having a crush on you. Even though he thought you would never get with a man like him. Your smile and friendship was enough for him. For now. Your love for Leon was no different. The way he carried himself and his strength mentally was always something you looked up to. He was courageous, no normal person could be like him if they put up with what he was put through a few years ago. His kindness still resided within him - something that you longed for.

Moments later, Leon sees you coming in with a stick of chapstick. The pop of the lid makes him shuffle up from his homemade pillow and blanket mess, his groans apparent as he sat up. "Remind me to not lay down like that again.." He moaned out in pain as he saw you level up the chapstick. "Even when you're sick, you're still funny." You laughed out. "Finally admitting I'm funny now, when I'm on my deathbed?" He playfully rolled his eyes as he put his hand to his head, reenacting how someone would faint. "You are so dramatic Leon." The flick of your finger on his forehead made him yelp. "What the fuck?" Leon chuckled, turning his eyes back on the chapstick. "Red chapstick... really?" He looked at you with tired eyes as he saw your hands approach his head. "It's either this or you can have chapped lips, which one will it be grumpy?" You retorted out jokingly as your left hand tilted his chin up towards you. His face couldn't help but feel warmer... How the hell could it feel warmer when he was ill? A sense of embarrassment overwhelmed Leon as he pursed his lips, a sigh eliciting out his throat. "Fine, chapstick it is."

His gaze wondered over you as the feeling of chapstick replenished the moisture in his lips, slowly rubbing his lips together as you stopped applying it. "Looks like you have lipstick on." He heard you snicker out as your remark slowly made you burst out in a fit of laughter. "Shut uppp.." Leon couldn't help but laugh with you - your giggling made him smile. It was harmonic as he saw tears of joy appear in the creases of your eyes. Laughter slowly died down as you put the chapstick in your pocket - sitting down on Leon's bed. "Does princess Leon need anything else now?" You joked at him as he snuggled back into his fort of blankets. Leon rolled his eyes and averted them towards the side of the room. "You're so kind to me when I'm ill." He grumbled out, a small smile appearing on his lips. "You're welcome." You quipped back as you ruffled his pillows, fluffing them back up to their original shape.

"Thank you..." He hushed out, nervous as it escaped his mouth. Fuck, was that too obvious? "Huh? For fluffing your pillows?" Your head tilted in confusion as your eyes gazed back onto Leon's face. Even when ill, he was so handsome. "No, I mean yeah but.. Thanks for looking after me these past few days. When you could've been having fun with your friends." Leon stuttered out. His heartbeat felt rushed all of a sudden, scared of what you would say back. "You don't have to thank me Leon, it's nice being able to help you out." A soft smile appeared on your lips, he couldn't help but give a weak smile back. "And anyways, you would've done the same thing for me right?" Your hand slid to caress his. Aiding him in some sort of comfort as he mumbled out what he said next. "Yeah.. of course. I would help you with anything."

Leon felt himself get too hot as he hushed out his words. You couldn't help but feel nervous in this situation. His raspy voice hit spots in your heart where you thought it could never be reached. The way he spoke to you, the way he looked at you. Were you both really just friends? "I uh.. Sorry if that came out weird." He broke the silence between you two, feeling scared if he had made things awkward. "No, don't worry. It was really sweet of you to say that." You stumbled over your own words trying to make him think otherwise. The way your soft lips moved as your hand kept caressing his hand made Leon crazy. All he wanted to do was kiss you, hold you in his arms. Make you his. "Leon?" You nudged at him. Oops. He forgot he was mid-conversation with you.

"Sorry." He chuckled out. Fuck it. "You're really pretty." He whispered out meekly. It had felt like you short-circuited. Did Leon just call you pretty? "Huh?" Was all that managed to come out of your mouth as you stared at Leon in bewilderment. "Pretty?" You asked him, as if you were begging him to say it again. A soft chuckle erupted out of Leon's throat as his gaze wondered all over you. "Yeah, really pretty." He made it clear to you his thoughts. "Inside and out, and I'm sorry if I made this awkward I just couldn't keep it to myself anymore." He groaned out as he plopped his head back on his pillow. A subtle smile emerged on your face, looking at the man who just confessed to you. "It's okay, I just didn't think you thought of me that way." A mellow laugh elicited out your throat. "What? Of course I do, I mean look at you... You're beautiful and oh my God.. you treat me so well. I can't help but be in love with you." Leon rambled out, hushing himself as he realized the last part. "Shit..." He mumbled out, knowing he had fully confessed his love to you. He anticipated a rejection, instead he felt a soft kiss press on his forehead.

"I'm in love with you too Leon." She couldn't help but have a wide grin as she relapsed his confession in her mind. Leon on the other hand couldn't believe what just happened. It soon sent him into a coughing fit, with you patting his back and laughing. "Agh.. fuck." His voice rasped out of his throat. "How about you get some rest?" You stroked his face, getting the stray hairs out of his eyes. "Uh.. so we're going to just forget that you kissed my forehead?" He joked as he looked at you with teary eyes, still struggling to breathe from him coughing fit before. "Well I can't kiss you on the lips can I?" You snickered as you pinched his cheek, a small whine escaping his lips. "Yeah.. okay. I'll make it up to you when I'm not dying." Leon groaned out as he melted into your touch. "How are you gonna do that?" Confusion laced in your voice as you asked him that question. "Well if I tell you that'll ruin the surprise." He laughed as he looked into your eyes. Feeling your body leave his made him whine. "Where are you going?" He held onto your hand.

Your lips pressed against his forehead again as you stood up. "It's time for your pills." Leon yanked you back down to him as he rolled his eyes, a yelp leaving your lips. "They can wait." He grumbled out, his arms slowly wrapping around you. "Weren't you just crying about not having your meds?" You snickered out as you melted into his touch. "Hush, I don't need them now." He murmured as he lifted up the blankets, covering the both of you. Leon couldn't care less about the medication if it meant having you in his arms, at least for a bit. "Leon.." You whined out, "You're going to get me sick." You tried to escape his embrace, but to no avail. "We can be sick together." He joked as he kissed your neck, feeling content in his sick body. "Shut up, I'm getting your medicine." Getting up from his tight embrace was hard, but it was possible in the end when he felt you kick his kneecap. "You're really going to leave me when I'm like this?" He huffed out, a small pout forming on his lips. "I'll be back soon with your medicine, it's not like I'm leaving forever." You flicked his forehead as you walked out the door.

He was so in love with you.

likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated! thank u for reading :)

-> masterlist

➽───────────────────────❥

[shdysders]

bruises

pairing: tara carpenter & female reader

summary: in which you've been ignoring tara, and she can't figure out why.

word count: 1.7k

warnings: mentions of abuse, violence & bruises.

Tara knew something was wrong the second you didn't answer her text she sent before she entered first period. You always answered.

You didn't share any classes except one that was held once a week, so she barely had time to search you up in between the periods. In fact, she wasn't sure you had shown up to school at all.

Mindy had told her she had seen a glimpse of you during lunch, but nothing more than that.

Tara had excepted for everything to go back to normal when late evening arrived, but that was not the case.

She had been laying sprawled out on her bed for hours, ever since she had eaten dinner with Sam. Waiting for you to come knocking on her window, like you did every night.

You and Tara had agreed for you to sneak in through the window any time you visited, which was mainly because Sam would freak out if she knew Tara was seeing someone she hadn't met properly. But she had to keep you away from her older sister, Sam would scare you away.

You would pass by her window almost every night, and when you couldn't make it, you would text Tara and tell her that you were unable to come. But you hadn't texted her today, which made her believe that you were coming by.

Tara sighed as she checked the time on her phone, it was almost midnight.

tara <3 (11:14pm): are u not coming?

She longly stared at her phone screen after she had seen it, bottom lip trapped between her teeth, hoping for the writing bubbles to appear. But when two minutes passed of just staring without any response, she groaned loudly in frustration, throwing the phone to the end of her bed.

However when her phone hit the mattress, a notification popped up, making her snatch it back in her hands. A small smile appearing on her face when she saw your name on it.

you <33 (11:17pm) no not today. sorry. i love you <3

The text made Tara feel disappointed and frustrated at the same time, the smile dropping quickly. She hadn't expected for you to show up considering the late time of the day, but a part of her thought you would at least give her an explanation on why you didn't come.

The night passed quickly and before she knew it, Tara was in class again. All her mind and worry focused on you.

By the time she had arrived home and had yet another dinner with Sam that was filled with questions about everything and everyone, she had sent you over a dozen of text messages.

You on the other hand, had only sent one. Stating that you were sick, and that's why you hadn't showed up to school. But Tara had a feeling that wasn't the only reason to it, maybe not the reason at all.

You had been sick multiple times during your relationship, and when you were you didn't tend to ignore her messages nor did you respond with short and dry sentences.

She knew something was wrong, but she knew better than to go to your house.

Your dad was a very violent person, and had been ever since your mother passed away a few years back. You had told Tara that he hadn't always been like that, he had been a great loving father before the tragic death of your mother. But instead of a therapist or mental help, he turned to alcohol. Which was the main cause for his violence.

He had threatened you with it multiple times, lashing out at you for doing the slightest things wrong. You had gotten used to it, but his loud voice and harsh tone always seemed to scare you.

That's why Tara didn't go to your house. She had tried before, when she planned to surprise you for your birthday last year. But she didn't even get a chance to knock on your window before she could see your figure squeezed into a corner, knees pressed up to your chest as your hands covered your ears. Your father was standing in front of you, screaming so loudly that Tara could hear is voice through the glass of the window, however she couldn't comprehend the words.

The next day Tara had told you about what she saw. You had brushed it off, telling her you were just being dramatic. However you did tell her that she probably shouldn't come over to your house, so you guys stuck with the idea of you sneaking through her window, and not the other way around.

After the day you had brushed it all off so smoothly, Tara thought she would never hear anything more about your father, or how your home life was. But she was wrong.

Because you told her everything that happened in your house. You told her what had happened, why it happened, and how it had happened.

There was multiple nights where you would cry into her chest, venting to her about all kinds of feelings.

Tara wished dearly that there was something she could do to fix it. But she there wasn't. She couldn't offer you to stay with her and Sam, and she didn't have enough money to buy herself her own apartment for the two of you; also because Sam wouldn't allow it.

All she could do was call the police or protective authorities, but when she had suggested the idea to you, you panicked and straightly begged her not to do that. You told her everything would get worse and that nobody would believe her if she did. So she didn't, even tho she strongly felt the need to.

There was nothing she could do, same as now. She couldn't come to your house nor tell Sam about her worries when it came to you.

Even though she knew the consequences that were about to occur, her worry got the best of her, which led to her taking the risk anyway.

She knew you weren't sick. Something was wrong, and she was going to get to the bottom of it.

She climbed out of her own window, not caring for the heights or the way Sam would probably spank her if she found out she had snuck out. She needed to know why you were ignoring her.

It was a rather long walk to your house, considering the fact that Tara lived in the center of New York, meanwhile you lived a bit further outside the town.

After twenty minutes of walking she had finally managed to reach your house. With no remorse or hesitation she started to climb up the branches of the small tree just inches away from your window. Letting out a few grunts and sighs as all kinds of branches scratched her in the face.

When she reached the window, the only thing her eyes searched for was you. Which she immediately found the second she looked into the glass. Your figure was laying on your bed, eyes carefully scanning on the book you held in your hands.

She almost felt bad when she gently knocked on the window, you looked so peaceful. But your attention quickly shifted to the window as the sound of knocking filled the room.

You were quick to jump to your feet, approaching the window with a body filled with hesitation. Tara tried to shoot you a smile before you carefully opened the window, but she didn't get one in return.

When the window was open, you made sure to offer Tara your hand to pull her inside, which she happily accepted without any sort of uncertainty.

She didn't have a chance to look at your face until she had landed inside and finished wiping her hands on her jeans; brushing off any sort of tree detritus that had stuck to her hands while climbing. But when she did see your face, she immediately felt her mouth open in shock.

A massive black bruise covered your left eye, the eye itself was swollen and the bruise almost reached down to your cheekbone. Your lip was cut open, swollen as well.

"Y/n." Tara spoke softly voice laced with worry, trying to grasp your shoulder, but she only made it halfway before you pulled away.

You had completely forgotten about the huge difference in your face when you saw Tara in the window. She had that affect on you; making you forget about everything bad around you.

But when you saw her shocked stare and open mouth, you began to panic, being quick to turn around to face the wall, covering your whole face with your two hands.

"God.. Tara." You spoke shakily, feeling tears beginning to form around your eyes.

"Y/n.." She repeated, carefully walking towards you, but stopped moving when she heard your shaky voice beginning to speak again.

"Tara I just..I don't want you to look at me right now.." You let out a sob, you're right hand falling from your face, revealing the eye that was not bruised. "It's really ugly.." You sobbed again.

Tara lightly grabbed both of your arms, bringing you closer to her so she could gently put her forehead against yours, trying to encourage you to look into her eyes. But when she noticed you didn't and could just see the tears that slowly ran down your cheeks, she spoke up, feeling nothing but guilt and worry in her body.

"There's no one else I wanna look at.." She comforted, her hands carefully finding a place in your hair.

At that you slowly dragged your left hand down your face, revealing the dark bruise formed around your beautiful eye.

"You're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen." She spoke up again, making your lips form into a pout as you tried to take in the whole situation.

Tara didn't hesitate before pulling you into a warm embrace, whispering apologies into your ear, not because she weren't there, but because she knew there was nothing she could do to stop this.

But you didn't care. As long as you had your Tara, you knew that you were okay.

[gay-dorito-dust]

lmao this is my first time giving a request. Could you maybe do dick Grayson head cannons?

Most of these hdc come from my little brain that I thought fit Dick in general, it’s not based on stuff (some of them are but not all) if ppl agree or don’t agree, I couldn’t care less honestly. Also thanks for the request anon, hope you like it! 🫶

I know I write him as a little goofy goober but he tends to play up this character so that he doesn’t have to open up about anything. Is it foolproof? Not entirely and it solely depends on the person and their relationship to him,those of whom that pick up what he’s putting down, and those (you) who can easily see through this facade and know something is up.

He’s more often than not the type who will become more affectionate in private where it’s just you, him and Hayley. Dick doesn’t need anybody else other then you two, his confidants as he so playfully called you both one day, and he’s more then content then he’s ever been.

Older sibling syndrome is strong in this boy.

Foot wars are a common occurrence in your shared apartment as you push against the others foot with your own to see who’s going to be victorious, only for you to accidentally smack him in the face with your foot and the foot war becomes ten times worse, seeing as how as Dick often wins them more then you did.

He will never stop feeling guilty about Jason’s death. Never. That boy who was filled with love and life and claimed that being robin was magic was still within Jason somewhere, dick just knows this to be true, even if Jason loves to claims that that little kid was gone.

And while he’s glad that Jason is back in his life, dick couldn’t help but feel as though he could’ve done better by him at times, holding onto that guilt and shame for not being their for his brother that still killed him inside to this day whenever he saw Jason laugh and or smile at something. It hurts but Dick will never stop being in Jason’s corner, not once. If Gotham was against Jason then Dick will gladly be by Jason’s side, to show that his allegiance to his brother would outweigh a lot of things.

(I’m so normal about dick and Jason being brothers can’t you tell 🥲 leave me here and be delusional)

The same applies to Damian also, which is why your mostly acquainted with both Jason and Damian in comparison to the rest of his family because they often come over by pure coincidence, or because dick dragged them by their ears with a smile on his face.

Insists that you cling onto his legs while he does pull ups and or sit on his back while he does push ups as he lets you count.

Complains to you when he looses the nightwing look alike contest, and to Jason no less, which no one that knows him personally allows him to live down.

They (Tim and Stephanie) even make memes out of it.

Has Hayley as his Lock Screen, you as his Home Screen. Both wearing cute matching pyjamas. So when he’s on his phone people think he’s smiling at his picture of Hayley -which is true- but he’s also smiling at the picture of you also.

His family pester him about you a lot, even Bruce asks when he’s going to meet you, claiming he’s not going to get any younger should Dick hold back on introducing you to him.

Even Alfred gets in on this as well but Dick always has an excuse locked and loaded when these questions are asked, but even he knows that Bruce knows that it’s all bullshit, however he doesn’t say anything outright incase Dick didn’t feel comfortable introducing you to them yet.

Wears only boxers to sleep or boxers and a light blue shirt, it depends on what he’s feeling really.

Loves living in the moment with you as you enjoy the others company without feeling the need to fill the air with chatter, you could just both exist and still love each other regardless because Dick didn’t feel the need to talk all the time, so moments like these were what he longed for most.

Ungracefully fell on his ass in fuzzy soaks once and hurt his tailbone in the process. It was funny until he asked to you put a bag of ice on the afflicted area.

Loved narrating what you and or Hayley do in a goofy voice that never fails to make you smile.

Doesn’t open up immediately but once he does it’s a sign of trust. He admits to his flaws in past relationships and how he wasn’t the most faithful and often saw commitment as a challenge. He understands if you see that as a sign to leave the relationship, he doesn’t expect anything from you, but if you did stay then he’s more then happy to not repeat those mistakes in your relationship.

Knows that people see Bruce when they look at him, he expects it because after being with him as long as he has it was only logical that he picked up some habits along the way whether he liked it or not.

Has a big heart but claims that Jason’s heart was twice as big because he’s so full of love and believed in love.

[anticanonsposts]

Early flirting/relationship things

(I'm just thinking out loud)

SFW:

i feel like when you first start to flirt with him he is kind of oblivious

talking to you already makes him so nervous so I think if you were intentionally being flirty he would already be so nervous that he wouldn’t notice

when you two do officially start going out…

he tends to make very prolonged eye contact when talking to you

especially when you guys go on more ‘traditional’ restaurant style dates 

like his eyes would NOT leave you 

defo from the beginning he pays for EVERYTHING 

even when he doesn’t fucking get anything

one time he invited you for coffee and pastries, you got there, and he didn’t order anything…

he said oh no I’m not hungry but like he wasn’t being rude, he wasn’t doing it for any other reason

but he still insisted on paying 

(he really just wanted an excuse to see you and used food) 

idk why but I feel like at the beginning he would be a little cautious about eating around you

i just feel like sometimes with social anxiety, eating in front of people can be more difficult

so i feel like he would eat a more ‘normal’ amount/portion instead of his normal much bigger amount

but his stomach would give him hell so usually after he took you out to lunch or something, on the drive home or wherever you were going next he’d ask if you wanted to stop somewhere for a ‘snack’ 

then he would eat a whole other meal 

he kept doing this until you were ordering at a restaurant once and you just touched his arm and said ‘is that all you want? Get more if you’re hungry babe’ 

and he realized he wasn’t as slick as he thought 

from then on he’s just your human garbage disposal 

any time you have left overs you don’t want, already taken care of 

considering he isn’t from the US (this only applies ig if y’all are living in the US) 

i always see people from the states go on vacation in other places and they lose weight because the food is better quality/better for you/less banned ingredients lol anywhere outside of the U.S.

i think the reverse would happen for König

one thing about him, guy likes to eat

so I think when he first comes here he’s a little overwhelmed by all of the snack/food options and would gain a decent amount of weight 

also regardless of where you guys live/where you are from/your heritage I think he would love learning about your cultural foods and your favorite foods, he would want to try everything 

not food related…

before moving in together, the guy would get so giddy whenever you spent the night with him

especially when you would forget or leave stuff at his house

it would brighten his day when you aren’t there and he sees something of yours, like a body care product, a perfume (which he would defo steal/hide forever), or a piece of clothing

in the most wholesome way possible, he would love being in bed with you 

just being cozy and feeling your body against his 

he would also start sleeping better the more you guys slept together 

i honestly don’t think he’s super picky about cuddle position, as long as you two are wrapped around each other in some way, he doesn’t give a fuck <3

NSFW: MDNI!!!

things that i think definitely happen before you guys’ first time together…

literally googles ‘how to eat pussy’

idk if I headcanon him as a virgin or not, considering I like to write about mid 20s him, more likely??

for sure he doesn’t have much relationship experience, like bullied, then 17 joined the military, not much opportunity there

but sex, maybe he’s had sex before, but either way would be really nervous about pleasing you 

first time together he really wants you to lead the way but honestly

he gets super into it very quickly and just gets obsessed with how you feel

basically devours your face and neck with his mouth 

when he is finally able to pull himself away he eats you out for so fucking long

at least 3 orgasms with is mouth/hands because he is nervous and making you cum makes him less nervous and because let's face it….dude has a third leg

he wants to make sure you are prepped enough that he won’t cause any discomfort 

i think he would be very attentive to facial expressions and body language during sex, so when you looked a little nervous after seeing how big he was he rushed to comfort you but you just said-

‘don’t worry, I’ll make it fit’ which ngl besides the amount of concern he had for you made him even more flustered 

i also think this man is just vocal in general, but ESPECIALLY at the beginning 

partly bc he wanted you to know it felt good but also because it was just so overwhelmingly good 

[blckbrrybasket]

20. “Sweet As Whiskey”

Vampire!Eddie Munson x Afab!Reader

꒰Blood Kink + Period꒱ - 2.0k

• oral (r receiving), period blood!!, friends

kinktober m.list

Eddie was rather neutral about being a vampire. There was good and bad that came with it, as anything. One thing he couldn’t determine if it was a good thing or a bad thing though, was being able to smell blood so intensely. It helped him hunt, but it also made it extremely hard to stay away from you when you were on your period.

You hadn’t yet connected the dots of why some days he’d drop off the face of the earth after getting you chocolate, ice cream, and whatever else he could think you would need. Then like clockwork after he dropped the items off he’d leave for a few days, coincidentally when you were on your period. Maybe it was a guy thing?

You knew he was a vampire, but he didn’t talk about it a lot. The ins and outs of his ‘condition’ were unclear to you, never once thinking that he could probably smell blood and it was intoxicating to him when you were on your period. No, you tended to be in too much pain from cramps to think deeply about his motivations.

Just like now, you were curled up on your bed, figure aching from the intense cramps. Eddie had been busy for the week, running errands for Wayne, and he had no clue that you had started your period. If it was any normal day, walking into your apartment like he owned it would have been fine, but when he found you on your bed it was far from fine.

“Shit, are you okay?” Eddie had asked, rushing over when the coppery smell hit him. You whimpered in pain, his hand coming up to cover his mouth when he inhaled your scent. Shit, he needed to go…but he couldn’t abandon you when you were in this much pain. “Eds,” you said pathetically, peering at him over your pile of pillows you had made into a makeshift nest. “Fuck,” he coughed, eyebrows pinching together in an expression as if he too was wounded. “How can I help?” You shook your head, eyes watery. “I took meds but they didn’t work.” You didn’t want to tell him that half the pain was from cramps and back pain, the other half being that you were so horny you were pulsing beneath your underwear.

Eddie swallowed thickly, trying to ignore the tempting smell in the air when he sat down on the side of your bed. His jaw ached, desperately needing your blood. You instantly curled up to him, tears threatening to roll down your cheeks at the overwhelming feeling of it all. “I can’t do anything,” you sniffled. Eddie’s arm came around, rubbing at the small of your back as you pushed into his fingers, moaning.

He swallowed a groan, squeezing his eyes shut. “Yes you can, you’re the strongest person I know. Practically god or something,” he joked to no avail. “I can’t!” You whimpered, getting worked up. “I hurt so much and I can’t even do the one thing I want.” “Which is?” You stilled, eyes widening.

“Nothing,” you grumbled, shoving your face into Eddie’s side. He shook his head, curls bouncing, “Ah-ah. Come here.” His hands slid to grab your face, coaxing it back out. “What is it?” Your lips were pulled into a petulant pout that only made him chuckle more. Finding the humor in the situation helped him ignore the fact he was seconds away from falling to his knees to beg to drink your blood.

“I can’t come, I can’t do anything about it. Everything hurts too much, none of my toys are good.” Eddie sighed sympathetically knowing how you felt, hoping you didn’t see the growing bulge in his jeans. “What if…what if I helped you?” Your wide eyes seemed to somehow look more shocked. “Really?”

“Yeah, why not. You help me all the time.” You laughed, sniffing. “I help you with selling weed, not giving you handjobs.” Eddie shrugged and moved to roll over, propping himself up by your legs. “Same thing.” It was not by any means, but it was pointless to argue with Eddie.

“Are you sure? It’s not pretty...like at all.” Eddie rolled his eyes, looking up at you with an expression as if to say are you serious right now. “Babe, I’m a fucking vampire.” A look of shock passed your face as he reminded you. It made sense now why he left when you were on your period, or least the first few days of it. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

Eddie laughed, slipping his scrunchie off his wrist to throw his curls up into a bun. “So you’re doing this for you,” you playfully accused. Eddie grinned wickedly, “I will neither confirm nor deny.” He didn’t have to say it was mainly for you, you already knew, but it was also to relieve the blood lust he was feeling. Rolling your eyes, you maneuvered to lay on your back, keeping your legs bent up to help with the rolling pain in your abdomen. 

“Freak.” You taunted him. He simply licked his lips, “Now you’re getting it sweetheart.” His charm was ever present, but the kinder Eddie was now replaced with the wilder version you knew and loved. Eddie laid on his stomach, splaying his arms on your thighs while he studied you for a moment. “What’s good and what’s not?”

He wouldn’t admit that it was his first time he was doing this while his partner was on their period, but he still needed to know what was good. You shifted nervously, halting when Eddie placed a hand on your waist. “Just your mouth please.” Eddie nodded, lowering his mouth to the waistband of your shorts. “So polite.”

His teeth sunk into the elastic, backing up as he slid them down your legs when you witnessed possibly the most beautiful thing on earth. Eddie’s dark eyes rolled as he groaned at the smell of you being further uncovered. You bit your lip, whimpering at his reaction. Unable to wait any longer, his hand pulled your shorts the rest of the way down as he made his way back up your legs.

Eddie hooked his fingers over the edge of your underwear and pulled them down, salivating at the sight of you. Puffy and wet with blood, wiry hair leading to what he so desperately craved. You winced, looking at the sight of your bloody pad, but Eddie didn’t bat an eye, setting it to the side. Having a towel would be smart, but Eddie was never known for his patience.

“Jeez-us sweetheart,” Eddie huffed, lowering back to lay on his stomach, eye level with your sore pussy. If most guys were scared of this he knew they were stupid. Eddie was salivating at the sight, not only because his body was programmed to need blood. He couldn’t help leaning in, the bridge of his nose bumping your sensitive clit as he breathed you in, you smelled even more like yourself now. Your hips jumped as his nose brushed against your clit, his hands pressing your hips back down.

Oh how he wanted to be rough, but he wouldn’t, refused to. Not when you needed him like this. “I’ve got you,” he muttered, opening his eyes to look up at you. Something had shifted in them even if you weren’t entirely sure what it was. His tongue drags over you so slowly, relishing in the taste of your blood. It was a tentative move, figuring out how to not hurt you with his sharp canines.

You gasp out, the sensation sending a wave of pleasure through the pain radiating in your gut. Eddie took his time to make sure he was as gentle as he could be, tongue not as sharp as it was when he usually gave head. He couldn’t help how much he was drooling as he swept his tongue through your bloodied labia. It was intoxicating, Eddie’s brain growing clouded as he licked at you.

His eyes fell shut as he fell into a practiced rhythm. You were already so sensitive from being worked up, your period making you tighter than usual. As if he sensed it, Eddie didn’t press his tongue into you, happily licking away at you. The ache deep in the roots of his fangs ebbed away as he got what he needed. It was messy, blood and spit forming a pinkish puddle under you on the sheets, but he didn’t back down.

Eddie started a slow stroke of his tongue from your hole to your clit, working his way up quicker to swirl his tongue over your clit, sending sparks racing up your spine. The heat that was present in your body gives way to a nicer warmth that cradles your body as Eddie eats you out. Your stomach clenches, threatening to hurt like your cramps when Eddie slides a large hand under the small of your back. The slight change in angle lets you relax further, the backs of your knees moving to lay over his shoulders.

Eddie sucks gently at your lips and runs his tongue over every part of you like you’re his life source. Surely he wasn’t going to die from not drinking blood for a week, but your blood was so thick on his tongue, coating the muscle entirely he was sure he would die if he didn’t get enough of you. Your blood was different than the wetness he was used to, it was stronger and there was so, so much of it. 

Every instinct in his body pushed him to keep going until there was no more left to get. He slurps away at the mix of slick, blood, and his spit that coats you. When Eddie lifts his head there's a thick coating of blood across his mouth and chin. If you weren’t watching him you would have thought he’d gotten into a fight. “Shit, Eddie.” His eyes immediately snap to yours.

“Say that again.” You whine at the way your cunt tightens, “Eddie.” He groans, lowering his head again, tongue flicking over your entrance. Your cunt tingles, abdomen pulling tight from his movements. “Fuck, Eds,” you continued spurring him on with your whines.

Eddie’s messy when he eats you up, blood smeared across your mound and thighs. You didn’t doubt that he’d clean it up with his tongue later, body shuddering at the thought of him sucking your thighs clean. Your body subtly bends up, gentle bucks of your hips following his ministrations.

The sparks at the base of your spine lick their way into your abdomen as your body tenses further. Squeezing your eyes shut, you keen. “Eddie, I'm close. Don’t you dare stop.” Eddie chuckles into you, knowing how serious you are. He didn’t dare consider stopping when he was about to watch his favorite person come.

Overwhelming pleasure bursts in you like fireworks, silent screams on your lips as you come. Eddie was only spurred on, working you through it as your cum pushes your blood farther into his mouth. He wiggles his tongue from side to side, greedily sucking up every last drop that you released. Salt mixed with copper on his tongue, melting into a satisfying concoction.

Eddie finally pulls away when you cry out at the overstimulation, air cooling his bloodstained lips as air hits your cunt at the same time. He merely grins, teeth stained red. “You look like a mess,” you laugh as he licks his lips. He shrugs, not caring about your insults when he can still taste you on your tongue. “Only because of you.” You smile, hand falling to your abdomen where your cramps have significantly lessened.

“Did it work?” Eddie asks in a muffled voice, eyes on your gut while he sucks on the fingers that wiped his chin clean. Snickering, you nod. “Good,” he boasts, fingers leaving his mouth. “Next time you need help again, ask.” You roll your eyes, “Who says there’s a next time?” 

Eddie was too sure of himself and you were too stubborn to admit that he was right. “Like you’ll turn me away,” he snorts, tracing his hand along your sides. “You’re right…I pity you too much.” Eddie grins. “Whatever gets me into your bed,” His fangs nipped at your messy thigh, a smug look on his face.

“Idiot.”

tags: @babybatlover, @starrgurl46, @wowzers-07, @nenukkjhj, @morgan0lw21, @kinokomoonshine, @slut4ddn, @adventures-of-impala, @dreamerjj

[mythicmanuscripts]

"Sidenote: I'm now picturing a situation where Jace edges himself before the wedding because he's far too horny to do nothing. When he stops for the last time, he just lays there for a while trying to make sure he doesn't accidentally cum. But then he gets out of bed to change into sleep-clothes and while he's doing this, his shirt grazes his cock and then next thing he knows he's collapsing on the floor and cumming so hard he can't even get up for a while. Maybe after this he panics and goes to you? Or even calls a servant to fetch you and you find him on the floor, still unable to get up? Just a thought lads..."

OMG PLEASE -- i feel like the second option would be even more intense! literally how do you come up with these things you're a genius

Alright lads gather round time to further the sub!Jace agenda and especially the sensitive!Jace agenda! I love sensitive!Jace so so much I can't explain why it just works so well?

Anyway, NSFW subby and very sensitive Jace below the cut! It starts out angsty but I promise it ends well!!!

So for context on this blog we subscribe to the agenda that Jace comes very very easily and quickly but also he gets SO sensitive afterwards? Like he can't handle any stimulation on his cock at all after he cums it does not feel good whatsoever it is just way too sensitive. He also tends to feel a pretty big dip in adrenaline after he cums and it leaves him feeling so unsettled and just generally bad about himself? He'll often just end up hugging a pillow and crying for a little while.

Because of all of the above, he never really masturbated. Of course he went through puberty and obviously there were times when he definitely horny and couldnt ignore it so he would jerk off then but he always ended up crying himself to sleep afterwards. He also accidentally discovers edging through this. He'll jerk off until he's about to cum and then stop because he doesnt want the overstimulation and comedown drop after he cums. So he often will just edge himself a few times and then stop, not even wanting to cum in the end.

But edging like this is also a pretty big risk. He cums easily normally and so after being edged a few times? Even the smallest stimulation can set him off. He'll have a massive orgasm then and for hours afterwards he'll be shaky and unsteady, feeling so so bad and he's so sensitive that he can't even put underclothes on.

This plan works until he's betrothed to you. You two have great chemistry from day one and Jace loses his train of thought whenever he looks at you.

He's just so easy so fluster? He'll blush bright red and stutter and lose all English capabilities. Make no mistake, he likes it. He really really likes it. You make him feel so nice and so safe and he knows you'll be as gentle as he needs you to be when youre eventually married.

However, before you get married there's a few weeks of you two being betrothed but not yet married. You spend time together and get to know each other but obviously you are expected to wait until marriage to do literally anything.

All of this causes some issues for poor Jace because for the first time he is so horny that he just can't calm down? He keeps on trying to distract himself but the problem was that he just couldn't stop thinking about you.

So one night he realises he won't be able to sleep if he doesn't at least touch himself so he edges himself a few times. It feels good, of course it does, but he knows he can't cum like this or he'll be feeling horrible because of how desperate he is.

The plan goes fine at first, he edges himself multiple times and by the end he's literally panting out your name despite you not even being in the room. When he stops, he lays there for a while to try and calm down and then gets up to get dressed. When he picks up his shirt it grazes over his cock and he's done for. He cums so hard that he falls down, keeling over. It's so intense and by the time it's over he's just curled up in a foetal position on the floor, shaking.

He tries to get up, and he just can't. Realising how weak he is makes him feel even worse about himself and it's just one spiral after another. He had been laying there for almost 10 minutes when a servant comes in. Obviously the poor servant is very shocked and worried. They try to come closer to help him up but he yells at them to stay back, and then they ask if they should call the maesters. Jace turns that down too, and without thinking he asks the servant to go fetch you.

You're extremely confused when a panicked servant knocks on your door and tells you to run to Jace's quarters. You go of course, and you're so worried when you get there to find Jace curled up on his floor, seemingly naked with a shirt hanging loosely and unbuttoned on his shoulders.

When you call his name, he looks up at you and there are tear stains running down his cheeks. He tries to sit up and seem alright but you don't give him the chance. Without thinking you just sit down next to him and gently pull him into your lap. He goes so easily, curling up in your lap with his head on your shoulder.

You realise he doesn't have underwear on and that there appears to be dried cum on his thighs and stomach. You don't address it because he's clearly upset and overwhelmed and you're worried if you mention it then he might get self-conscious and tell you to leave.

So instead you just sit there for a bit, letting him calm down while you rub his back. After a little while he starts mumbling something and it takes you a moment to realise he's mumbling 'sorry'.

"None of that now," you tell him gently, giving him a little squeeze, "If I didnt want to be here I'd leave. Okay? You have nothing to be sorry about, just focus on calming down for me."

The added 'for me' at the end seems to cause something to shift in him? He nods and starts to take slow deep breaths, clearly putting effort into feeling better. You praise him for it and continue to rub his back.

When he starts to squirm a little bit in your lap you finally ask him if he wants to tell you what happened. Asking this prompts him to blush bright red and hid his his face in your neck. You give him a few moments and then he finally speaks.

"Touched myself," is the first thing you hear, which is an immediate relief to you because it means whatever happened Jace did to himself and no one else was in there hurting him.

You nod and wait for him to continue. It takes nearly 15 minutes to get the actual full story out of him because he keeps on mumbling and not wanting to speak about it directly and his poor little brain is still a little scrambled. But eventually you manage to understand that he was jerking off and he topped before he came a few times, and then he accidentally came after that and it knocked the wind right out of hm.

"Always like this," he says to you afterwards, "can't, can't be normal about it. Always sensitive after, too sensitive."

That gives you the full picture and then you understand. In response you just give him a little squeeze and thank him for calling you to help him.

Eventually he manages to gather the strength required to be able to stand and walk to the bed with your help. You fetch him a damp warm cloth to clean himself with but the moment he tries he just immediately starts crying again. He pulls his legs up to his chest and wrapped his arms around his knees.

You eventually convince him to move his legs down and let you do it instead. The poor thing whines and pants as you gently clean him and you feel so so so bad for him. You also feel bad because you're touching him somewhere you know he wanted to wait until marriage for but you don't have much of a choice because he can't do it himself and you know he needs it.

Once he's cleaned up, you pull the blanket over him and run a hand through his hair. You tell him to wait there and you'll be right back.

You return with some food and water you fetched from the kitchen and also a book from your own quarters. The smile he gives you come back into the room is enough to make you want to marry him right then and there.

He eats the food you give him and drinks all the water you give him and when you offer to read to him to help him calm down he starts crying again. But this time it's happy tears because he realises his future wife is absolutely perfect for him.

Slight sidenote to end off: The very first sexual thing you do with Jace is before your marriage and it's a soft handjob while he hides against your shoulder. He's seated next to you in the bed with his leg closest to you picked up and across your lap so you can have easy access. He hides in your neck and shoulder and whines and whimpers as you stroke him. When he cums he cries and thanks you over and over.

He even takes your hand and licks all the cum off it because of course he must his future wife clean up. Once you clean him up properly he begs to return the favour and that's how he ends up between your thighs eating you out. It very quickly becomes his favourite method of stopping the intense comedown. Absolutely no room for sadness when he's literally eating pussy. Not allowed to be sad there, absolutely not.

[insomniasdelusion]

Astro with a reader who sleeps a lot!

Reader x Astro

Warning: none, complete and pure fluff!

————————————

•Astro

The moon toon here also tends to sleep a little more than the others! Whenever he finds you curled up in your room, eyes closed, slow breathing, and just snoozing away. He happily climbs into bed to rest with you, wrapping his bottom arms wrapped around your waist, upper arms lacing his hands with yours.

At first in the relationship he was a little too shy, he’d give a small smile, a kiss on your head, and then would walk out.

he always makes sure that you have good dreams, he would never intentionally want to cause you harm! Emotionally or physically.

Although, he would get concerned sometimes- why do you sleep so much..? Are you not getting enough rest? Do you not feel well? Is something wrong? He would want you to be okay, but if you assure him that it’s just how you are and it’s just kinda a cycle of tiredness!

He calms down after that, no longer too worried but sometimes he’ll carefully shake you awake juuuust to make sure. If you wake up and stay awake he’ll apologize, just reassure him that it’s fine and you don’t mind! Maybe cuddles for extra reassurance?

The only downside to you sleeping all day is.. your a giant night owl, up all night doing whatever- and when it hits sunrise you waddle either to your own room to rest or Astro’s room to snuggle up with him to go back to go to sleep.

Now he didn’t realize this until one day he got woken up by the fire alarm with all the other toons because you and Cosmo set the kitchen aflame- you and the swiss roll had sheepishly apologized after some of the others scolding and Shrimpo’s yelling of ‘I HATE FIRE!’.

Astro had asked you why you were up and you explained to him that this was actually when you were usually awake! And you just didn’t want to ruin Astro’s sleep schedule so he could hang out with you.

The blue moon had blinked in surprise, it was sweet but at the same time- he didn’t mind, he’d like to be able to spend more time with you, and if that costed a little bit if his own sleep schedule? Then he guessed that was the price.

Although, he did try and help you get rest a normal time so it could be a little healthier. He’s willing to stay up with you always, but he is also going to be making sure a little more effort of a sleep schedule is put forth!

“Starshine.. what are you doing..?” Astro’s soft barely above a whisper voice called out, tilting his at you as the grip on his blanket around him loosened.

“I’m making a bracelet! Scraps has been teaching me!” You chirped back, excited and lively despite the (real) moon hanging in the sky.

“Oh..? Could I see?” He asks.

“Not yet, it’s a surprise silly” you giggled back.

“A surprise? For who..?” Astro hummed.

Turning around, you waddled closer to your boyfriend, you had put the last finishing touches on it. It was a pretty beaded bracelet with a mix of blues and purples, as well as the occasional pale yellow bead added with a moon charm that had a hanging heart attached!

“For you! I had asked scraps to teach me how to make bracelets so I could make you one..” you squeaked, bashful. Holding the bracelet out to him so he could take it.

He blinks in surprise.. you made this for.. him? His cheeks heated into a pretty sapphire blue, making his starry freckles glow softly, he looked like he had the night sky on his cheeks! It made you melt slightly inside, your own face feeling hot and your heart beating faster at how star-struck he looked.

“You.. made this? ..for me?” He whispered, carefully taking the beaded bracelet holding it like it was glass instead or plastic. He looked down at it taking every detail in, his tails wagging much like a dog’s would but that was a really rare sight for him!

“Well.. yeah! It’s to let you know how much I love you! And even though I sleep a lot that doesn’t mean your any less important to me, I love you so much I’d be fine if the sun never came out again if it means I get to keep you here with me!” You tell him, it was a little cheesy yes.. but it was how you felt!

“..I love you to starlight..” he whispered back, gently slipping the bracelet on and walking towards you to embrace you tightly, he smelled like vanilla and he oddly cool to the touch but you wouldn’t have it any other way as you wrapped your arms around him as well.

“I love you Astro.”

“I’ll love you forever my moonlight.. until the stars stop shining and even more after that..” he whispered back, gently squeezing you as he burst his face into your head.

—————————————————————

This was a little self indulgent- I do love the moon boy a lot tho <33

[deadghosy]

“Patience”

SLYTHERIN OC X HUFFLEPUFF READER

Dynamic: reckless x nurse

Prompt: when the healer comes to the rescue or needs the rescue.

Warning: violence, blood mentions, fluff, and slight suggestive.

How in the hell are you supposed to tame a wild snake when all he does is get into trouble. Cleaning your boyfriend’s knuckles was not on your list for a relaxing evening. Christopher Locks, a Slytherin boy who had taken your heart back in 4th year was certainly sitting in front of you after he had gotten into a fight with a gryffindor. You were tired of these house rivalry as it just seemed dumb as hell. “Really Chris? Why can’t you ever just stop acting like a dimwit.” You said throwing the boys slightly big hands at his legs. Christopher tilted his head a little before smirking. “Why can’t I have my future spouse tend my wounds? I choose you over these bloody nurses in the hospital wing any day.” You only sighed once again feeling him pull you to his lap. “Chris.” You flicked his head which only earned a small laugh. “Im not a nurse..or even a specialized nurse at the fact.” Grabbing his hand again and dabbing the cotton swob with alcohol gently on the spilled knuckles. “Yeah but..” he says whilst his other hand resting on your thigh.

“Does it really matter love?” He looked up at you with those dangerously low eyes. You felt your breath get taken away by those green eyes of his. You look away from him and back onto his knuckles. “Other hand please.” You said holding out your own hand for the other you haven’t tended to yet. He lended you his hand with a smile as you quickly get to work. You were begging Helga Hufflpuff for patience as sometimes you didn’t have the patience to keep tending your lover. “I hate you…” “I love you too darling.”

It was now another "normal" day, or so you wish it was. Having a Slytherin boyfriend meant that some people would have problems about a hufflepuff and a Slytherin being together as a Slytherin is evils while a hufflepuff is an angel. Honestly you didn’t give a care in the world for people trying to trash talk your own relationship with your lover. Honestly Christopher is a lovely person after all. Protective, charming, funny sometimes, and very much a good lover. Hell, he had given you a promise ring that had your favorite gem in it. It was like you were swooning over him all over again. Your love sick thoughts were cut off by a student, a Gryffindor of kind to shoulder check you. “Ah, apologies—” “Ew. Aren’t you that hufflepuff dating Locks?” The gryffindor said with a disgusted face. Your face faltered into one of a frown and distaste. “Yes..I am.” You said eyeing the student.

“Yikes! I feel bad for you and your relationship. To even date a Slytherin might as well be foul to even imagine. Or maybe you’re foul yourself.” The student started to walk towards you, making you uncomfortable and back up. “Please back up—” the Gryffindor cuts you off, “I’m thinking that maybe you were forced into a relationship with that bloody snake. Maybe you are just blind and an imbecile to even see what’s in Locks.” You narrowed your eyes, as you opened your mouth to counter on what was said. Christopher came around the corner with a dark look. “There you are love..” he said with a dark tone. His eyes were sharp into the student that seemed to now back away from you. “Is this person bothering you?” He had now stepped in between you and the Gryffindor, Christopher already heard what had happened earlier. He just wanted to see if the problem needed to be solved. You looked between your boyfriend and the student, and nodded your head confirming his accusation.

He smirked at the student in front of him, making sure you stayed behind him before he started talking. “So mate, I see you’re starting trouble with my love.” He puts his hand on the student’s shoulder, gripping it to the point his defined hand was showing veins. “I shall say, if I see you messing with them again.” He leans against the person’s ear. “I’m breaking your face and wand.” His voice was low into their ear, gripping the shoulder with a deadly grip. The student made a sound of displeasure and it was enough to make Chris smile at that with a dark look. “Do I make myself clear?” Chris then punched the student’s stomach making the poor person kneel down and hold their stomach. Your eyes widen with a gasp. “Oh yeah..and that’s for calling them names you prick.” Chris grabbed your hand and walked away from the agnozing crowd that seemed to grow large at what happened.

You frowned, “that wasn’t necessary chris…” Christopher bit the inside of his cheek. “You know what isn’t necessary? That bastard making fun of you. Even calling you names love. And I will not stand for that.” He said looking at you, squeezing your hand as well. You sighed at this boy, “what am I gonna do with you..” you said walking side by side with him fully. “..you could give me a kiss.” You looked at him with a shocked face. Smacking his arm with your free hand he laughed. “Kidding, kidding..or am I?” He bellowed out a laugh for a second time as you let out a small giggle. You felt a little better getting out of that situation, and he knew it as well.

But sadly, it wasn’t the end of it.

Screams erupts the halls as you were walking with another hufflepuff, Elizabeth to class. You raised an eyebrow and Elizabeth squinted her eyes before screaming. “Omg! Isn’t that your boyfriend?!” Your own eyes widen as she pointed over to a crowd of students in a circle. You could only see two heads, one head was definitely Chris but the other wasn’t. “What?!” You yelled shocked, you started to run over there. Pushing through the crowd that’s when you see Christopher throwing a punch at the student you seen harassing you yesterday. Apparently the student didn’t learn their lesson from yesterday and had insulted you to Christopher’s face. “Cmon mate, throw a good one while at it!” Christopher said with a smirk, he gestured with his hand towards the student who whipped out their wand. Swiftly Christopher dodged a depulso spell, without hesitation the Slytherin boy whipped out his own wand and depulso the student away. The crowd ooh’s at this as the student was laid out on their arse, you looked at the student who seemed to have a slight bloodied face. Then you looked your Slytherin who had surprisingly clean knuckles, a little red on them. But clean.

“Christopher Locks!” Christopher looked at his beloved with a smile, showing off his sharp canines. “Ah, my dear badger. What brings you here love?” He was acting as if he didn’t throw that waste of time Gryffindor across the hall. You only narrowed your eyes as you walked up to him, he still kept a smile watching you closely. “…why must you cause mayhem everywhere you bloody go!” Christopher was going to answer before you grabbed him by the hood of his cloaks and drag him off from the crow that now surrounded the knocked out Gryffindor. “Love please slow down or else—” “I don’t give a rat’s arse! I worry about you too much for you to only start another fight?! What if you get suspended from the school?! I swore, you need patience to think before acting out.” You were obviously upset and it made the Slytherin frown.

The walk from away the crowd turned into him taking you to the Slytherin’s house. “Pureblood” he said as he let you walk in first and then him. You didn’t even look at him as he sighed. You had walked ahead of him, that was before he picked you up bridal style and took you to his room. “Hey! Put me down you idiot!” You tried to get out of his hold, but you knew if you did you would’ve busted your own behind on the floors. “Can’t, I gotta show you I’m sorry my love.” He opened the door with his hand and closed it with his foot. You only huffed when he set you down. You looked at him, eye to eye to see he had no expression before he leaned his head towards you.

“I’m sorry love..” his voice was low, slowly his hands grazed your waist. You pouted while his eyes were clearly onto your lips. He dipped his head lower capturing your lips perfectly onto his own. Your eyes widen before relaxing, wrapping your arms around his neck. He chuckled into the kiss. The kiss was passionate before turning sinister. He bit your lower lip asking for permission, and you clearly gave him it as he pushed you against the bed. Claiming dominance over you. Your hands gripped his back as he pushed back and licked his lips. “You drive me fuckin' crazy angel…” he said with a low growl. Before he could even say anything else mattheo came in, ruining the moment. You and Chris looked at the door, your face showing clear embarrassment as Christopher was nonchalant. Poor mattheo only saw a hufflepuff looking flustered with bruised lips from kissing, and his housemate that had disheveled hair and a cloak that seemed to drift off of Christopher’s shoulder.

“Yep I’m gone.” The riddle brother said, closing the door quickly. Chris only shrugged and kissed your lips one more before sitting on the bed beside his darling. “Think he’s gonna tell the others?” You said to the Slytherin boy next to you. Chris only shrugged again, slithering his hand to hold yours. “The others wouldn’t care that I’m dating a lovely badger like you my dear.” Chris showed a soft smile, his low eyes showing protectiveness. You giggled squeezing his hand happily. “Awww.. you’re so cute when you’re sweet” Christopher immediately jokingly gagged when you called him sweet but he held a smile on his face. “Cmon now love, you know I can’t ever be mean to you.” He says leaning his face down to yours to give you a small peck. After that the rest of the day and night was trouble free. He knew he had to learn patience just like you.

[intheshadowsbehindyou]

Mercs proposing hc?? So basic but Im literally one corny mf

The TF2 Mercs proposing to their partners

WARNING: Mild gore gifts because this is the Mercs we’re talking about here.

—————————————————————————

Scout:

- Biggest panic attack of his fucking life. Has no idea how to function like a normal human being anymore. It was that feeling of being in love with somebody all over again and needing to tell them. What’s worse about this though is that marriage is a huge commitment. One that many aren’t ready for yet. What if you reject him and he messes this relationship up?

- Goes to Spy for comfort. In all honesty he’s just a very damaged little boy on the inside and scared that he is incapable of receiving unconditional love. The other Mercs catch him behind the base crying into Spy’s shoulder on the curb while Spy holds him. He’s telling Spy how much he loves you; and how terrified he is that you cannot return that same vow. Spy knows the feeling. “Shh, mon lapin.” Boy howdy Spy’s certainly grateful that Scout’s mom didn’t teach him a word of french.

- Spy has to shove Scout into your room to actually finally get him to do it. “Your idiot boyfriend has a few words for you, and apparently I have to be present or i’m certain he’ll break down crying again.” He says to you. While poor Scout curls up into a ball on the floor.

————————————————————————-

Soldier:

- First of all, why him? Second of all, this is the type of guy to go all out and spend half the money he earned in mercenary work to get one of those “will you marry me Y/N?” banners hooked up to a plane. Complete with the pilot being ejected and the plane crashing nose first into a rock formation. Apparently that was 100% intentional because a bunch of confetti came out of the explosion. You don’t know if you should be horrified at the audacity, or head over heels.

- Brings you an entire necklace of ears. But that’s not all! For limited time only you can get one of soldiers’ severed heads that was purposely boiled and skull cut into the shape of a helmet! Great, right? “Wow, what type of animal is this?” You ask. “A DOG. PACKAGED WITH PURE, NO ARTIFICIAL FLAVOR, PASTEURIZED AMERICAN GLORY!” well that’s not reassuring. “OOOHH SAAAAY CAAAAN YOU SEEE—“ Soldier immediately gets hit over the head by Heavy and knocked unconscious.

- After the initial silliness dies down you see adoration as you tend to his awful head wound. Maybe Heavy knocked the stupidity out of him? No. He’s still insane. Soldier grabs your wrist as you apply alcohol to his wound and squeezes your hand. “Somebody like me doesn’t deserve somebody like you.” He says. “Bullshit, Soldier.” You say, leaning in for a kiss.

—————————————————————————

Demoman:

- He can only achieve this when drunk off his mind. Not to mention it arrives in the most unromantic way possible. But it doesn’t make you love him any less. He holds you close to him after a New Years party at the base and pats your back. “Jus’ so you know, you’d look mighty fine with a ring on your finger.” He flirts, getting incredibly physically affectionate. He makes sure never to cross your boundaries.

- “Me mum would kill me but fuck all. y’know? Old wench’s days are numbered anywae. We could live ina nice cottage by the sea.. If ya want wee lil’ bastards I’ll actually take care of em. I’d have to stop me drinkin tho.” He says, pecking your neck. His remaining eye is pleading with you to say yes. “Pleaaase?”

- Has no recollection of these events in the morning so imagine his dumbfounded expression when one of the Mercs asks about his new fiancé. Cue the embarrassment mixed with pride and excitement.

—————————————————————————

Engineer:

- Will 100% go to your window in the dead of night and sing a song for you on his guitar. Particularly I imagine this would be the contender. You have no idea this is even a marriage proposal. You just think he’s being incredibly sappy. Imagine the surprise while mid song he pulls out a small box and throws it up and down recklessly like a baseball. You’re slowly beginning to catch on as he opens it with his free fingers after finishing the song.

- Complete overconfident show off. He pep-talked himself before all this and rehearsed his performance repeatedly. By using the wrangler and effortlessly throwing the box up in the air and propelling it forward with a single bullet, the sentry successfully aided in getting the box up to you. You don’t even know how you managed to catch it, to be honest.

- Tips his hardhat to you. “Whadda say? Marry me?” He can barely contain his smile. Both excited and somewhat relieved he pulled that off.

—————————————————————————

Heavy:

- “Heavy made you dead person crown..” He walks into your room one day and puts it on your head. It’s a bunch of severed ears meant to resemble a flower crown. “Hey, thanks big guy.” You’re grateful for the gift, being a crazed Merc yourself is it really any surprise? You give him a huge kiss on the cheek. Heavy looks thrilled that you accepted his gift. Which is very much unlike him. Usually he’s reserved. Maybe he’s just having a good day?

- Well.. you eventually find out why. That was apparently his way of proposing to you. Soldier nudges you the next morning and teases you for being engaged to Heavy. You’re horrified to say the least. You had no idea this meant marriage. Not that you wouldn’t marry him. But what about his gun Sasha? Wouldn’t she feel jealous? You’ve been with Heavy so long you keep referring to that damn thing as a person.

- Immediately upon seeing you; goes up to you and gives you a list of stuff he wants at this wedding. There’s even a blank page for you to write your own needs. He seems oddly motivated to plan this out months before it actually happens. There is countless mentions of Russian authors he wants to attend the wedding. As if they’d ever consider going to a stranger’s wedding. “If they won’t come then Heavy will crush them..” He says. Same goes for your guests.

—————————————————————————

Pyro:

- Wow.. Kind of the most normal out of all of them. For the most part. If TF2 took place in modern day they’d propose with a ringpop but all they have is a bag of candy and an actual ring (That they may or may not have stolen from someone in Tuefort.)

- They get on their knees and offer the ring to you in an extremely professional manner. It’s quite surreal to see Pyro pull off something so domestic and normal when he’s always destroying stuff with fire. In fact this is a little too normal.. This is Team Fortress we’re talking about here. Shouldn’t something be wacky happening right about now? It’s like the perfect opening for slapstick. Through your cries of love and laughter you begin to feel anxious at the back of your head.

- Yup.. There it is. Pyro tells you that Scout offered to be the ‘Ring bear’ for the wedding. There’s Scout dressed up in a cutesy teddy bear costume. You’re certain that’s not how it works. “Just for the record, if you tell anybody about this, I’ll fuckin’ saw off both your knees boston sandwich style. Capeesh?” He says. You have no idea what that means so you quickly agree.

————————————————————————-

Sniper:

- Afraid he’s going to mess it up, much like Scout. Gets incredibly physically ill as a result from stress and isolates himself in his camper van. You’re convinced he wants to tell you something but you have no idea what it is. One day on the frontlines an arrow narrowly misses your face and embeds itself into the wall next to you. You were about to turn around and bombard Sniper until you saw the note attached to it. “Pardon, Will you marry me? -Sniper.” With a very worried sad face drawn next to the note. He even bothered to draw his hat on it.

- Disbelief clouds your face at first. Sniper? Marry another Merc? You’re in shock. This isn’t something you’d ever suspect from a guy like him. But your initial thought makes way for an uncontrollable smile.

- He literally will not approach you first after this. You have to knock on his camper van because god knows he won’t be even able to face his team for months. As you jump into his arms and kiss him he immediately pulls you inside to love on you in private.

———————————————————————-

Medic:

- WOULD RATHER SHOOT HIMSELF

- Just kidding. But he wishes he were dead right now. How could he do something so… Un-mad-sciencey? Marriage is just a concept brought upon by money hungry people. It only exists within the mind… Yet, that’s how he feels. An eternal vow to you is something he wishes to do. He’s already planned to make you a god alongside him once the time came so you could be his beloved consort forever. It reminded him of the greek story of soulmates.

- Gets a little fruitier than usual. The most feminine moan you ever heard left this man’s body as you brushed against him while trying to help him grab a syringe he dropped. This man gets unusually hornier and that’s how you know something’s up.. “Looking up my skirt, I see!” He says, as you glance up his long lab coat. There isn’t anything there but his pants so you roll your eyes. “Ah yes.. “ You respond. You decide he’s just clingy and horny as usual and carry about your assistance. You’re not in the mood for that. He never even bottoms so he’s feigning it anyway.

- “Err—Uh— Ho! Wouldn’t it be just shameful if I knew what was going on inside your head?” He asks. “Alright, i’ll bite. What are you saying, Doc?” You sigh. He fixes his glasses back up on his face thoughtfully. “One body, one mind. That would be quite intriguing don’t you think? If we were to.. Become one.” He placed an odd amount of emphasis on that, as if the thought was simply music to his ears. Lord he’s creepy. Medic grabs you and holds you close to him. “Think of the possibilities. We’d never be lonely again. I could stitch our bodies together and we could feel each other’s essence. Forever.”

- “Medic, you good?” You ask. Although his words were strangely flattering nonetheless in their own way. You smile at him. He seems to be lost in the idea. Fantasies of being with you for eternity flood his head. Particularly ones where you’re both a weird hybrid god. Weirdest marriage proposal world record goes to Medic.

—————————————————————————-

Spy:

- No, no no no no no. He can’t do this again. Marriage never worked out for him. After losing Scout’s mom and many partners that followed, he couldn’t bare hurting somebody like that again. His job always got in the way of what he truly desired but he had to live with it. This life chose him after all. His hand was forced into this position. Seeing your bright smile for the rest of his days was all he ever wanted. His urges to get up and say something to you were too strong.

- Has to metaphorically slap himself in the face and remind himself to act like a fucking adult. He wasn’t a little rambunctious teenager in Paris anymore. Yet he felt like one whenever he saw you. Such boyish feelings for an old put together gentleman like him. Spy decided to trust you and himself. But if something went wrong he wouldn’t hesitate to jump off a fucking cliff. Spy would stare at his reflection in the bathroom mirror for hours and contemplate his decision before making it.

- He proposes to you under a starry moonlit night. Not even bothering to kneel down, he slides the box across the balcony to you. “Well?” he asks, taking a long drag of his cigarette. His eyes fixated on the horizon. “Do I have to say it?” He asks. “Yes..” You tell him. Your eyes gleaming with joy. You never felt happier in your entire life. “Fine.. Will you marry m—“ He couldn’t even finish before you jump on him, ultimately knocking you both down.

[lou-struck]

At the Top

Keigo Takami/ Hawks x reader

W.C~ 2k

~ Your date at the Fair turns from a questionable experience to a full-blown disaster when you and your online date get stranded at the top of the Ferris Wheel.

With the fair in town, you thought that spending the afternoon eating ridiculously sounding fair food, playing games, and riding the rides sounded like a picture-perfect first-date idea. But that's the problem with being a romantic.

You tend to get your hopes up…

"So… Are you having a good time so far?" the man sitting across from you asks for the 9th time this evening. The two of you had matched on a dating app a few weeks ago, and after many late nights of texting that filled your stomach with butterflies and heart with hope, you finally took the step and asked if he would like to actually go out.

But the evening has been less than ideal. Your date, although good-looking, clearly has some serious baggage from his last relationship that even your 'I can fix him' mindset wants to turn away from. 

He has refused to go on ride after ride after ride with you, claiming that he and his friends rode all of them last year and thought they were just a waste of time. And he turned his nose up at any of the mouthwateringly atrocious fair food you wanted to try out and dragged you to the only place on the fairgrounds that sold smoothie bowls, which may be delicious, but they are something you could eat any other day whilst cheddar cheese flavored ice cream is not.

You try to hide your frown as you spin the deep purple, soupy concoction with your spoon as you stare across at your dark haired date and tell him what you think is a convincing lie, "Yes, I'm having a great time. Thank you for the acai bowl."

"Don't mention it," he chuckles, wiping his berry-dusted chin with his sleeve. "I'm glad I was able to find us something in this place that was organic. All that deep-fried garbage they sell at the other stalls is repulsing."

"Maybe," you say, stirring your bowl even more, really not wanting to engage in any kind of debate with this guy. You take a bite of your bowl, and while it is good, you hate that it costs the same as half a tank of gas. 

Luckily, your date paid for that. 

Just getting up and leaving is always an option, but there is still hope that things can turn around, or at least you'll have a decent bad date story to tell your friends when the night is over.

"How about we go on the Ferris wheel?" he says at last, boredly scraping the button of his paper bowl with his spoon. 

"Really?" you say, thankful that you are finally able to go on one freaking ride on this date. Maybe you were being too critical of your date…

"Why not?" he says, "I didn't go on that one yet."

oh…

~

When you like someone, the idea of being wedged together on the Ferris wheel is something straight out of a romance movie, But when the already little spark of attraction you are feeling for your date has been drowned and smothered by the murky waters of his overflowing ego, the act is tortuous. 

Despite the little legroom in your pod, your date has decided to take up most of it with his wide stance; his obvious manspreading gets more and more stifling as you rise slowly into the air. The multicolored light bulbs of the wheel flicker, and you wonder briefly if that is normal.

It's getting a bit cold up here, isn't it?" he asks with a sly smile. It's honestly not cold at all; in fact, the warm air is kinda stuffy. Before you can say anything, his arm slings over your shoulder, and you dig your nails into your palm; it doesn't feel right; you know how you feel when you are attracted to someone, and this is not it.

The flash of a camera phone catches your attention and you blink away the spots in your vision. 

"Oh, that's perfect," he chuckles, looking at the selfie he just took of the both of you. "I'll send it to you and we can set it for our lock screens."

"Don't you think it's a little soon for that?" you ask, now wondering what kinda psycho you are trapped on this ride with.

"Hey, when you know you know Baby Cakes," he says with an almost hallmark channel level of confidence as he looks at the photo with a delusional smile. "Oh, we look great. I gotta send this photo to my Mom; she is gonna love you."

"Oh… how nice," you say dryly. You feel sick… in that moment, you decide that when you touch down on solid ground, you are going to get the hell out of dodge and take a cab home and leave this guy in the dust.  

The ride reaches its peak, and you sigh; at least you only have a few minutes left of this tortuous experience.  

"Hey, have you ever kissed someone at the top of a Ferris wheel before?" he asks, leaning in close. 

"Not really my thing," you say, scooting as far away from him as you can. But in the little car, you can't really go far. 

"Oh come on, don't be so shy, y/n, I don't ~" he starts to say when the ride suddenly jolts to a stop. Your little pod rocking back and forth."

"What was that?" he asks, getting a bit out of your bubble to look around. His lack of proximity makes you sigh in relief before realizing that you are stuck at the top of the Ferris wheel with this dude. 

Hopefully he doesn't try anything…

"Oh my god, oh my god, we're gonna die," he says, completely freaking out. "This is all your fault, y/n." He glares at you with tears streaming down your face as snot pours from his nose as he rocks the cart back and forth. 

You are speechless and have no idea what to do at this moment. All you can hope is that your date won't pee himself next to you in this little pod. 

You look down at the pavement; at least if you fall, you won't have to deal with this guy anymore…

Suddenly, a red feather whizzes by your face. You follow it with your eyes. Turning your head, you come face-to-face with the most beautiful man you've ever seen.

Bright golden eyes staring into yours warmly from behind a yellow visor. Crimson wings beat softly in the air. "Hey there, you look like you could use a hand."

"H-hawks." Your date says addressing the pro hero. "Thank God you're here. Please get me down."

"No problem, folks, I'll get you down; it looks like that machine down there is a little jammed, so you'll have to bear with me." His feathers harden as they whittle away at the steel safety harness that keeps you trapped in the air. 

"Now, don't move, all right? I had to cut the beam to get you guys out of here, so hang tight in those seat belts." He looks at you and holds out a hand. "how about I start with you? Wanna get back on solid ground?"

You smile. "So badly." His hand has a pleasant warmth through it, but right before a hero can gently take you out of your seat. The bench starts to swing rapidly.

"No!" your date screams, unbuckling his seatbelt. "don't take them, take me." he stands and lunges towards the Pro Hero, only to be halted in the air by a cluster of feathers latching to his clothing. 

His arm pushes you off balance, and you slip, letting out a yelp as you wonder if this is the end. Frightfully, you imagine yourself becoming one with the pavement below, the worst end to the worst date of your life. 

Strong arms are quick to grab you, and you are pulled into the safety of the winged hero's chest. "Don't worry, I gotcha," he says softly; the world beneath you makes your head spin. "Hey… Don't look down, you're safe. What's your name?" 

The unwavering care in his voice calms you, and you answer. Out of the corner of your eye, you see the feathers bringing your date down to the ground and setting him on the pavement with an unceremonious plop.

"Serves him right," you mutter, "This has been the worst first date of my life."

"Don't tell me there's gonna be a second." He jokes as his feathers start to free the other passengers, setting them on the ground; he brushes a strand of hair out of your face and winks, "Just between you and me, I think you can do way better than that guy."

Your cheeks heat under the hero's surprisingly flirty banter, and you realize that you are still nestled comfortably in his arms, high above the ground. But instead of feeling worried, you feel strangely comfortable. Your stomach seems to flutter as you are brought down to earth. 

"There you go," he says gently, placing you on solid ground. Although you are safe and sound, you can't help but feel a little disappointed that your short time with the Pro hero has to end so soon. 

"Thank you for helping me out up there," you say, remembering your manners. 

"It was my pleasure," he says; his golden gaze flickers from you to behind you and narrows. "Hey, I hope I'm not crossing a line or anything, but it looks like you may need a bit more saving." He gestures over to your still-sniveling date, who doesn't seem to notice you at all. 

"Ugh, where were you three hours ago?" you chuckle dryly. 

Your little comment sends him into a fit of laughter so hard he has to remove his visor to wipe tears from his eyes. "Sorry, I guess that saving your life was the best I could do."

"And you call yourself a hero," you shake your head and fight the smile on your lips. 

"Can I make it up to you?" he asks earnestly. "My patrol ends in a few, so I could take you home or somewhere else, maybe grab some food."

Your brain shorts out for a moment as you are shocked by this unexpected turn of events. 

Is he flirting with you?

This is Hawks, one of the most eligible bachelors in the country, and he is offering to take you to get food.

"It seems like you are going above and beyond the call of duty," you comment, watching as he tucks his wings to his back. 

"Well, it just seems right," he says honestly. "You look like you need a better day, and I'm starving. So what do you say? Wanna use me as a good old-fashioned rebound?"

The corners of your lips turn upward. "I would."

"Perfect, then let me work my magic, and we can get out of here." he smiles, the toothy grin looking much more natural than the ones you see plastered on the magazine covers. He turns and walks over to a sidekick in an elastic red suit. "Hey, this one is a bit shaken up, so I'm gonna help them home; you got everything handled over here, right?"

They nod, and he turns on a dime, walking over to you with a poorly concealed pep in his step. "Are you ready to go?" 

You nod eagerly. And motions for you to hang on tight to him. Although just a few minutes ago, you were disgusted at the idea of even brushing knuckles with your previous date, being in the arms of the hero is comfortable. 

He launches the two of you into the air, and the wind tickles your face. Leaving your sniveling date in the dust. 

"So where to first?" he yells above the breeze. 

"There's a really good fried chicken food truck near my place if you want to try it out?" you say after a bit of thought. 

His gaze fills with affection, and his laughter rises with his wings. "Oh, I think we are gonna get along just fine."

Tagging: @pixelcafe-network @sleepyyshroom @anjodedesgostoeerros @isaacdaknight @qardasngan @dog55teeth @atigerandabear

[messedupfan]

Chapter 23

Summary: In order to have a dating life without the pressure of friends and family knowing, Wanda and Reader plan dates to meet at each other's places for romantic dinners. They tend to dance a lot.

A/n: Sorry y'all meant to post earlier today but had to walk Brady then had to make my food. I apologize for any and all errors, I haven't really been editing the chapters since I've gotten so busy but I LOVE this story sooooo much! I hope y'all enjoy!

Masterlist | All Stories Taglist  | All Chapters

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The alarm on your phone wakes you. It’s early on a Monday morning. The sun isn’t up yet but you have to be in order to make it to the job site at your scheduled time. You wish you could sleep in, but unfortunately you won’t get to do that for the next four mornings. As you yawn and stretch, you feel a hand pull you down. “No,” she groans, making you laugh as you continue to stretch. 

“I have work,” you remind her as you fall against her. Feeling your normally tense body relax into her warm embrace. Your muscles feel like jelly and you want to close your eyes for just five more minutes. But you don’t. You just know that those five minutes could be ten, twenty, an hour, or worse.  

“No,” she repeats as she snuggles closer, her eyes remaining closed as she does. 

“And what do I tell your brother when he calls asking me why I’m not at work?” You ask as you adjust to look at her. Wanda’s hair is a mess, her face is a little puffier than usual, she looks serene. You cup her cheek with your hand and lightly rub your thumb back and forth. 

Wanda leans into your touch and a content sigh escapes her lips. “Easy, you don’t answer,” she smirks as she presses her lips to the palm of your jaw. You shake your head with a soft laugh.

“So I shouldn’t tell him that his twin is refusing to let me leave her bed?” you tease and Wanda scrunches her face. She pushes you back and you grin.

“Gross, he’ll think we’re doing a lot more than snuggling and sleeping,” she covers her face as she shakes her head. Then she finally opens her eyes. “Besides, I think that goes against that whole keeping this between us thing.” 

You lean in and kiss her cheek, “Exactly, I’m going. Have a good day,” you swiftly move out of the warmth of the cozy bed and her arms and Wanda pouts as you do but she doesn’t put up more of a resistance. She sighs with a slight disappointment this time as the bed grows cool in your absence. She climbs out and stretches as she wakes her body up. 

“Are you going to come back tonight?” She asks as she shamelessly watches you undress. The two of you are still waiting to be physically intimate as the two of you continue to develop the emotional intimacy of the relationship in order to build a strong foundation. But as her eyes roam your body, she is beginning to forget why the two of you need to wait in the first place. 

You are lost in thought as you change and consider your answer. Uncertain if today is the day you had to pick up Rachel and Jean from the airport. It has been two weeks since the disastrous first date. You and Wanda had your second date on Wednesday of that week then your third and fourth that weekend. The week she had her boys, you needed to work on finishing orders for your side business and Wanda would sneak in from time to time to chat and maybe the two of you even made out a couple of times. 

Last night wasn’t a date outside of the house. It wasn’t even meant to be a date. It was a last minute invite and you weren’t up for much because you were working all Saturday and most of yesterday working for a delivery service to help catch up on the bills. “Um, let me check my,” you pick up your phone and look up the flight itinerary for Rachel and Jean. “Yeah, I can come back tonight. I don’t pick up the girls until Thursday… morning? Ugh, that’s going to be brutal. I need to warn your brother.” 

Wanda shakes her head with a disgusted expression. “Please, just say boss. It’s hurting my brain how much you have to run by my brother.” 

You smile and nod as you pull your work polo over your head and arms and straighten yourself out. “Alright, that’s not a problem,” you walk across the room towards her and wrap your arms around her and give her a soft kiss on the lips. “I love you,” you say. 

Wanda scrunches her nose as she catches a whiff of your sour morning breath, but she kisses you again anyway. “I love you and your stinky breath.” 

You wink at her with a wide grin before walking to her bathroom to use the toothbrush that you left here the last time.  You start brushing your teeth and she follows to brush her teeth at the sink next to the one you’re standing in front of. When the two of you exchange a glance, you wink at her and she shakes her head. 

~~~~

Wanda looks at her phone as she receives the last message you’ll be sending her for the rest of the week. Even though it’s the middle of the summer, you are finally taking Rachel on the annual camping trip. “Why do you look upset?” Pietro asks as he tries to look over her shoulder to get a glance at her screen just in case it’s a message from Vision. 

Wanda is quick to hide her phone. “Dude! Mind your business!” She says with the screen of her phone pressed against her chest. 

“Dude? Really? What are we, twelve?” He shakes his head and grabs a handful of chips from the bowl on the coffee table. 

“Yeah, when you’re trying to look at my phone and you’re eating like that!” Wanda doubles down and Pietro slows down his chewing but his mouth is still full of chips, giving him chipmunk cheeks. 

“What?” He asks dumbly. Wanda shakes her head and looks back at her phone as she tries to think of a response to your message before it’s too late. “This is my house, you know?” Pietro states as he adds the rest of the fist full of chips into his mouth. 

Wanda is visiting to finally meet her new niece. She has spent a couple hours doting over the baby while she anxiously checked her phone for messages from you. Now her boys are with their aunt, she is watching them as they each take turns holding the baby in the rocking chair in the nursery. Pietro told her that you had gifted it and Wanda recalls watching you make pieces of the chair but she doesn’t remember seeing you take it out. But it was a sturdy and comfortable chair. She had to hide how proud it made her feel to see the chair you made actually being used and shown off. 

“It still amazes me that you ever found someone to love all of this,” Wanda gestures with her hand waving it in a circle of her brother's face and body. 

“Whatever, you’re just jealous that I found someone I can be myself with,” he says as he puts his boots on top of the coffee table while crossing his legs. 

“Pietro! Get your shoes off of my coffee table!” Crystalia shouts from the other room. “And wipe it down!” She orders. 

Pietro quickly drops his feet to the ground and sits up. “Yes dear!” He shouts back as he gets up from the couch. Wanda watches with amusement and Pietro looks at his twin once he’s standing. “Not a word,” he warns. Wanda, unable to help herself, makes a whip sound as she flicks her wrist with a smirk. “I’m going to remember that,” he says as he walks away.

~~~~

The day you come back from the camping trip with Rachel, you're happy to find that Jean has moved out of your apartment. You find your room clean and without a bunch of overflowing luggages scattered on the floors. The bed is made with clean sheets. Your bathroom is clean with no evidence of makeup or used feminine products. The apartment no longer smells like Jean’s perfume. That was the best part. It almost felt like she was spraying it around as a substitute for an air freshener. So to have the apartment smelling like anything but her is a real relief. Rachel is happy to have a clean room to return to as well. The apartment doesn't feel as cramped with the bed in the living room finally folded away. 

You call Jean to find out if you should drop Rachel off at her house. But she doesn't pick up the first couple of times. When she finally does, she is irritated and breathless. “Hey, we're back. Do you want me to bring Rach over to you?” You ask, keeping your voice low in case Jean doesn't want Rachel at her house yet. 

“Oh shit what day is it?” Jean says and you can hear Anna giggle in the back stating that she doesn't know and doesn't care. You pinch the bridge of your nose as you let her know that it's Sunday. “Right, right, it's my week now. Okay. Yeah, give me…” she mutes herself for a couple of minutes. “Okay, okay, give us a couple of hours. I'll, we'll, the house will be ready. We need to clean up.” She is panting between words and you have to refrain from groaning out of disgust. But it's better off that she's jumping into bed with her wife instead of trying to seduce you. 

The night she kissed you wasn't the only time she made a pass at you. She tried a few nights later, while you were asleep. She crawled into the uncomfortable sofa bed with you and snuggled up against you. Her touch woke you up almost instantly and not in the way she preferred. You were repulsed by the idea of ever being with her ever again. You had to explain that to her in detail a couple of times before she finally understood to leave you alone. 

You shudder at the memory once you hang up the phone. You tell Rachel to take a nap but you don't tell her that you'll be taking her to her mom's house. You don't want to excite her, she needs to be resting. You step out to your balcony to call Wanda. 

“Hello?” Wanda sounds a little out of breath herself. 

“Hey,” you say as you try to figure out what she could be doing. 

“Y/n! Oh my goodness! You're back earlier than I thought you'd be!” She says excitedly. “Sorry, I'm on my treadmill. I didn't check to see who was calling.” You can hear her press a couple of buttons and the soft hum of the machine in the background slowly comes to an end. “Hey you, how are you doing?” She asks as she is catching her breath. You wish that you could be the reason she is breathless. You wish you were the one entangled with Wanda warning Jean that you need some time before she can drop off Rachel. 

“I'm doing good, it was a long drive. I can't wait to see you,” you say as you lean against the railing of the balcony. You look out to the busy view that the location of your apartment building provides you. 

“That's sweet,” Wanda sighs and you can hear the smile in her voice. “Do you think you'll get to?” 

“Jean moved out when I was gone so I was thinking,” you check over your shoulder to be certain that Rachel isn't within ear shot. “After I drop Rachel off with her mom, maybe I can stop by and see you?” 

Wanda takes a moment to answer, you can hear her swallowing her water for a moment. You wait kind of nervously before but maintaining patience. “Just stop by or do you think you can spend the night too?” 

Your smile widens. “I could be convinced but I don't know.” 

“I missed you,” she says softly. “Come on,” her volume lifts slightly as she pleads with you. “Spend the night with me. Hell, spend the week with me.” 

“That's a little fast, don't you think?” The words fall out of you before you could stop them. You're a little surprised that you're thinking about slowing things down between the two of you. All week, the only thing you could think about was being in her bed with her. Laughing with her. Crying with her. Playfully arguing with her. You laugh a little to try and play it off as a joke but you aren't certain if you meant the statement or not. 

“Well, considering that we're still waiting,” Wanda speaks slowly, dragging out her words. “I mean, I suppose it's a little fast to have you move in for a week,” she goes quiet for a moment. You are biting your nail on your thumb as you wait for her to continue. “But you know what? I don't care,” her voice sounds more certain, more confident. “I want you here. I want you to go to work and come back here. I want to make dinners with you. I want you here as much as possible.” 

You chuckle softly as you think about it. But then decide not to overthink it. You've spent too much time thinking. You want to take this small leap with Wanda. “Alright, I'll pack my bags then,” you state calmly and confidently. 

“Wait, are you serious?” She sounds slightly surprised but mostly excited. 

“Yeah, I'm serious,” you confirm. “I need to go if I'm going to sneak my bags inside the truck before Rachel can ask me about anything. I'll see you soon. I love you,” you say as you hold the handle of the door so you can enter the bedroom. 

“Okay, yeah, I'll see you soon. I love you,” her excitement is contagious as you feel a rush of energy and joy. You can't rid yourself of your wide grin as you hang up and start to get ready for your week with Wanda. 

~~~~

“...’Cause you feel like home. You’re like a dream come true,”  you hold Wanda close with your eyes closed as the two of you dance to the song. The two of you were enjoying dinner together at her home. She hasn’t let you take her out since you talked to her about your financial situation in depth. Wanda refused to let you do anything to spoil her, especially after how much you spent on her for the first date. You tried to assure her that you budgeted for it but she was adamant that the dates be affordable and that they didn’t need to be of any extravagance. 

“Expensive dates aren’t what makes a relationship great anyway. I think we both know that by now. I just want to be able to spend time with you,” she assured you when you were trying to assure her that you don't mind spending money on her. 

As the two of you continue to dance around the living room you can't help but think of the first time you and Wanda danced together. In the backyard with the sun setting and a bottle and a half of wine in your systems. Or was it two bottles? You don't remember, but it was a minor detail. What you do remember in detail was how much you wanted to kiss her. How much you wanted to feel connected to her. How much you wanted to be her partner. Now here you are, dancing with her once again. You still feel that way except now, you can kiss her when you want. And you do. Now you feel more connected to her than ever. Now you consider yourself her partner. 

“Can you believe it? Our kids are starting middle school soon?” Wanda whispers as her eyes fall on a framed baby photo of her boys as she looks over your shoulder. 

You shake your head as you continue to sway with her. “No, I can't believe it. I still keep thinking that Rachel is too young to be moving on to middle school. But she won't stop reminding me with how excited she is about it.” 

Wanda takes a deep breath. “Yeah, I keep eavesdropping on the boys because Tommy is constantly talking to Billy about all of the hot girls that are going to be at their middle school.” 

You scrunch your face, “Please, he hangs out with my daughter. I need to be able to sleep at night. I beg you, tell me you're lying.” 

“Oh come on. They made an entire plan to become siblings. I doubt Tommy or Billy will be looking at Rachel in that way,” Wanda says in a reassuring tone. But there's a hint of doubt in her words because she can't be certain of something like that until you and her reveal the relationship to the kids.

“Oh I'm not worried about Billy. But now I'm going to keep a close eye on Tommy,” you say jokingly and Wanda stops moving with you. 

“What?” She steps back slightly. “What do you mean you're not worried about Billy?” 

You shrug and shake your head. “No particular reason.” 

“Come on,” she presses. 

“No, it's nothing. It's just, I don't think Rachel would be his type,” you say as you try to steer away from the conversation. “It's getting late, we should get ready for bed.” You say as you step away and check your watch then find the remote to shut off the music. 

“Why wouldn't Rachel be his type?” She doesn’t want to let this go because lately she’s been feeling a little disconnected from her sons. A comment like that gives her the impression that you know something she doesn’t. “What do you know?” Wanda says as she follows closely behind. 

“Nothing, I don't know anything,” you say as you shut off lights on the way towards the stairs. 

“The way you're saying that makes me feel like you know something,” Wanda continues to pester you for information all the way to the bedroom. You sigh and sit on the edge of the bed. Wanda stands in front of you as she waits to hear the answers she's looking for, not allowing you to dismiss the topic of conversation. 

“Remember when we sat the kids down and explained my pronouns and what being non-binary means to me?” You ask as you take Wanda’s hands into each of yours. She nods as her eyebrows start to crease. “Well, Billy has had some…” you trail off as you try to search through your vocabulary that will best describe your recent conversations with Billy. “Curiosities lately. I don't know anything for certain. I'm not saying that he is anything. I'm not outting him because he hasn't confirmed anything. The questions could mean absolutely nothing. Just, prepare yourself. Billy might not be… I don't know how to put it. He might not be like Tommy.” 

Wanda pulls your interlocked hands up to cover her face. You're a little confused by her exasperated reaction. She’s dating you. She’s been with women in the past. Why would something like her son potentially being queer be upsetting to her. “He is going to have such a hard time at his father's house soon,” she mutters and that's when it clicks for you. She's not upset about her son's sexuality because she wants him to be heterosexual. She's concerned for his well-being in his father's home. 

“Did he know that you were queer?” You ask, curious of how they got married if Vision wasn’t as open minded as Wanda. 

“Yeah,” she sighs as she drops your laced hands down to her sides. “Don't judge me,” she starts as she keeps her head down, “in my defense I was in my early twenties.” She takes a deep breath and bites her lips. “But he's… he liked that about me because he thinks it's okay for women to be a little more sexually open because he finds it hot. And I didn’t realize how misogynistic and homophobic he was until we found out that we were having two boys.” 

You nod slowly as you start to grow worried for Billy as well. You remember how unaccepting your father was of the way you acted while you were growing up. You even remember the advice he'd given you when you told him about getting Jean pregnant. That he wanted you to quit being so “frilly” and to start acting like the child he wanted. That life is already confusing enough for a child, they don’t need to have a parent that lives a confusing lifestyle. 

He's only now starting to come around to the idea of you not being the gender conforming person he always wanted you to be. But you could handle his criticisms and his comments about you. Billy is a sweet and sensitive boy and Vision is a lot tougher on his boys than your father ever was. 

“What do you think we should do?” You ask Wanda as you let go of her hands and stand up to wrap your arms around her and pull her body close. Wanda melts in your arms and with her eyes closed she leans her forehead against your shoulder. She breathes you in as your words hit her. Just the simple way you asked the question made her feel more supported than years in her marriage did. 

You rub her back as you wait for her answer. Your mind races with solutions but none of them being helpful or worth suggesting. “I don't know,” Wanda finally says. “I guess it's just…” she shakes her head and leans back to look at you. “It's just one of those things that's out of my hands. I can't keep Billy away from his father. And I hardly know what's going on at that house. He's finally convinced them to stop telling me what goes on over there. So, I'm just going to have to be sure that he knows he can be free to be himself here.” 

You nod and press your lips to her forehead before leaning your forehead against hers. “He's going to be okay,” you assure her. Wanda’s hands move to your shoulders and gives them a light squeeze.

“I hope you're right,” she says with a lump forming in her throat.

~~~~

You are sitting with Steve and Bucky in Steve's apartment. You have finally forgiven Steve for not talking to you about his relationship with Peggy and Bucky and Natasha. After starting your private relationship with Wanda, you could understand why he was private with the development in his life. 

Steve was going through a lot that he wasn't sure he ever wanted to be public. First, he and Peggy had given up on the relationship. But they were sticking together for appearances but they were miserable around each other. You weren't the best at giving relationship advice and completely missed that Steve wanted out of the relationship whenever he tried to talk to you about it. 

Then he met Bucky and felt an attraction that he'd never felt before towards a man. It confused him and while he dealt with those feelings, Peggy could feel him pulling away and eventually she got tired of fooling herself. They were private people as it was so there wasn't a big announcement of their split of any kind. That's where you thought that your friend had been cheating on his partner of several years. 

You felt like a shit when you realized that you weren't there for your friends as they navigated new feelings towards one another. But Steve and Bucky assured you that they didn't bring it up to you because of the problems you were facing at the time. And that they preferred to talk about it with each other. Then Darcy caught on and it was easier to come out to her since she didn't make a big deal out of it. 

Then you asked about Bucky’s girlfriend because he was also in a relationship with a woman by the time he met Steve. That's when he revealed that they were still figuring that out because Steve also had feelings towards Natasha. But they all felt weird about the “throuple” label. Steve especially wasn't prepared to deal with the backlash of coming out as possibly bi-sexual and then add being possibly polyamorous to that. He was already disowned from the majority of his family for dropping out of the military. He couldn't risk losing the family he had left. So, officially, he is single. But unofficially, he is seeing both Bucky and Natasha. Sometimes separately and sometimes together. 

“No way, Nat and Wanda?” You ask as you pop another beer open. You are shocked to hear about the relationship from someone other than Wanda. But you knew she felt some shame over the amount of people she was hooking up with. You try to tell her that it doesn't bother you but she still feels a type of way about the behavior. You hope that when you're finally able to be physically intimate with her that you'll be able to help her see that it wasn't wrong for her to explore her sexuality the way she had. 

Bucky nods, “Oh yeah, she told me everything. I couldn't believe it either. I mean, I've only met Wanda less than a handful of times but I never thought she was the type. She broke poor Nat’s heart.” 

Your eyes widen, “Really? Wow, I had no idea. I thought they seemed a little weird towards each other at the New Year's Eve party. But honestly, knowing her ex-husband, I thought maybe Nat had been with him and Wanda knew.” You tip the bottle against your lips as you make a mental note to talk to Wanda about Natasha. “It's crazy how much we can miss about each other’s lives if we're not on each other twenty four seven.”

Steve and Bucky share a laugh as they agree and drink their beers. “Yeah, I think Darcy mentioned that Jean was living with you for some time. How was that?” Steve asks, he's never gotten along with Jean and he never bothered to get to know Anna. Although she would try to approach him in conversation at gatherings that you'd host. That's where Peggy would come in and either take over the conversation or come up with an excuse to get him away from her. 

You groan at the memory as you nod to confirm. “It was starting to feel like she was never going to leave. It wasn't a fair situation and I was not about to let Anna get the house. If they went through with a divorce. But they seemed to have patched things up and Anna is treating Rachel like she's her daughter again. I don't know. The whole thing has put a bad taste in my mouth but I can't do anything about what they do. I can only do my best to protect Rachel.” 

Steve shakes his head and mutters insults about the women to himself. You don't catch half of it and you don't ask him to repeat himself. Bucky shakes his head and scoffs. “I couldn't do it. You're a tough one for putting up with all of that, Y/n,” Bucky commends you as he puts his hand on your shoulder. 

You shrug, “It's not easy but that's what you agree to when you have kids. When there was a choice, that is.” All three of you shake your heads and take a sip of beer before you continue. “I don't know that I'd recommend it but Rachel is great. She's far from being the problem. Every family has their issues and I guess that's what makes them family.” You sigh deeply as you look at the screen. The three of you were watching some show on a streaming network that had just released its most recent season. Well, more like it's releasing its most recent season weekly. You don't like that they started to do that but it did help bring you and Steve back together because it's a show that the two of you have watched together since it came out. Now you're here every week on the night the latest episode is uploaded. The three of you pay attention to the rest of the episode as you push away the image of Natasha and Wanda out of your mind. 

~~~~

“I just want to know why you didn't tell me it was Nat that you were seeing last summer,” you ask as you follow Wanda to your bedroom. She wanted to see what it would be like to live with you for the week in your space. It's been a few weeks since that night at Steve's apartment. You haven't brought it up to Wanda until now because you were keeping it out of your mind. Then, somehow, you don't really remember how… it got brought up. 

“Because, it's embarrassing! Besides, you don't see me asking about everyone you ever slept with!” Wanda says as she waves her hands around. 

“That's because you've already met them all,” you remind her with the same energy she was throwing at you.

“So what, are you calling me a whore now?” She asks with a pointed look. 

“What?! How the hell did you get that idea?” You are thrown off by the accusation. 

“You're not denying it,” Wanda states defensively. 

You shake your head. “No, I'm not calling you a whore because I don't think you're a whore. I just…” you take a moment to think before you speak and make things worse. “You don't have to talk about every hook up. I would just like a heads up whenever I meet them. Or at least if I meet them around you. Like what happened with that one waitress. Did I get upset with you and call you a whore then?” You use your first date as an example because you felt like you handled that pretty well. 

Wanda looks away and bites her lips in thought. “No, but how do I know that you weren't thinking it?” She asks as crosses her arms over her chest. 

“Because, Wanda, you are supposed to trust me when I tell you that I love you and that I don't judge you. Especially for things you did before we started dating.” You step closer in an attempt to disarm her. You gently place both of your hands on her shoulders and gaze into her big green eyes full of insecurities. “I don't judge you, Wanda. I don't think you're a whore, Wanda. I love you, Wanda.” You move your hands up to cup her cheeks and hold her head in your hands. 

Wanda melts to your touch and untangles her arms. She puts her hands on your waist and clutches the fabric of your shirt. Tears spring to her eyes as you maintain your eye contact. Your tone not wavering once. She has no choice but to listen and believe you. 

“You better mean that,” she says as her tears start to uncontrollably fall. You pull her close in a tight embrace to hold her while she breaks down. Free to cry in front of you and process her emotions in your arms. You love her and show her as much as you continue to listen and try to understand where she was coming from when she got upset. 

~~~~

Pietro sits back in his lounge chair as he observes you and Wanda at the grill. It's the end of summer and Wanda thought it would be a good idea to host an end of summer party for the kids. She invited everyone in her inner circle. Agatha and her son Nicholas, Carol and Val, him and his family, and you and your daughter. You and Wanda were chatting quietly to one another while Wanda grilled the meat options. There was something different about the two of you. He couldn't put his finger on it. 

Crystalia bounces Emma in her arms as she returns to Pietro's side. “What are you staring at?” She asks her husband as she sits on the chair beside his. 

“Do they seem… closer?” He asks his wife. Pietro wasn't typically one to gossip or speculate but he knows he can trust his wife with his thoughts. 

Crystalia shakes her head. “Oh no, don't go there again. Come on, it was bad enough you lost money over a stupid bet. Just, leave your sister alone. You know how she can be. Even if there is something to talk about, she's not going to do it if you go badgering her about her personal life.” Then she looks over at you and Wanda and notices the way you're standing close to her in-law. She catches onto the way the two of you smile at each other. How Wanda's eyes flit to your lips and how yours do the same. “Huh, at best they're hooking up,” she says to confirm her husband's suspicions. 

Pietro sits up and takes off his sunglasses. “So you see it too?” He looks like he's about to get up and say something to the couple they're spying on. So Crystalia places Emma in Pietro's hands. “Crys, I can't just let this go. Y/n is my friend, yes, but they're also my employee. This… I have to put a stop to this or do something.” He looks down at the little girl in his hands as she giggles and slobbers on herself. He grins at her then gives his wife a pointed look.

“Pietro, Y/n is your employee but Wanda isn't. They're not breaking any rules. Besides, we don't know anything for certain. Just,” she sighs and gets settled into her seat. “Just relax and leave them alone. They're both adults. And it's not like you haven't said before that you would be thrilled if they got together because you like Y/n and think they'd be perfect together. Honestly, if they did get together, it'd probably be your fault to begin with.” 

Pietro makes a face at the accusation and Emma giggles as she reaches out to touch her father's face. “What are you talking about?” 

Crystalia shrugs, “When Rachel was having problems in school, you suggested that Y/n put her in the same school our nephews attend. And you know how involved that school requires parents to be.” 

Pietro shrugs, “It's a really good school. That doesn't mean anything.” 

Crystalia doesn't buy it. “Oh yeah? Was it really a coincidence that you started to put together company events right after Wanda and Vision split up? No one invited their siblings to those things unless they work for the company but you were constantly inviting Wanda.” 

“She was having a hard time. I thought she could’ve used a reason to get out of the house. She only went to one of those things anyway. And Y/n couldn't even show up to that event,” Pietro defends and his wife scowls. 

“You can't remember our anniversary but you can remember that?” Crystalia asks, only to prove her point. Pietro shakes his head and rolls his eyes. “When Wanda needed work to be done on the house, you asked Y/n to help you. I know you keep saying that it's because they're the best worker or whatever, but you literally could've patched up the wall by yourself. And you would've never acted on extending the house without the appropriate permits the way you did.” 

Pietro shakes his head as he continues to deny this theory his wife has about him essentially being a puppet master for you and his sister. “Okay, I don't think they're together, you just made me realize how crazy I sounded. Because you sound completely mental.” 

“Don't call me mental in front of our daughter,” Crystalia warns. 

“I'm sorry, you're right. Mommy isn't mental Emma,” he whispers to his daughter. She pats his face and starts to tug on his facial hair. He chuckles as he looks up at his wife. “But you've got to admit, you're giving me a lot more credit than I'm worth. You really think I'm that thoughtful?” Crystalia can't help but agree with that statement and decides to drop the subject altogether. 

~~~~

You and Wanda are lounging on her sofa. You are lying vertically on the part of the couch that extends forward. Wanda is lying horizontally along the length of the sofa with her head in your lap. You have your fingers in her hair as you periodically massage her scalp. As the movie begins to lose her attention, she looks up at you and starts to watch you watch the movie. You're zeroed in and completely focused on the plot. She doesn't know how you could find such a movie interesting but she doesn't mind watching you this way instead. 

You don't realize that Wanda's focus is on you until you feel something lightly tickling your stomach. You look down and notice that Wanda is trying to lift your shirt up. “What are you doing?” You ask, startling her slightly. She looks up at you with wide eyes from being caught.

“Nothing,” she shrugs as she removes her hand from your shirt and looks up at you. 

“You wanted to watch this movie, remember?” You remind her with a teasing tone.

“Yeah, well, I lost interest,” she says as she sits up. She moves so that she's sitting on her knees. Wanda bites her bottom lip as she looks at you. “Besides, we've watched plenty of movies together. I think I'm in the mood for something else.” She says as she inches closer to you. She puts her hand on your chest and you raise your eyebrows at her. 

“Do you want to put on some music and dance?” You ask, not wanting to read too much into her touch and actions. But she shakes her head as she maintains eye contact and moves to lock her arms around your neck. “Do you think we're ready for that?” You ask as you catch onto what she's getting at. 

“I'm ready,” she says as she kisses your cheek. “Are you?” She says as she crawls onto your lap. You don't have to give her much of a verbal answer because you can feel that burning desire growing in your body. A desire you haven't felt for anyone before. Even the desire you had for Jean when you were a teenager pales in comparison. You kiss Wanda’s lips and place your hands on her hips. 

“I'm ready,” you say in a harsh whisper. Wanda giggles as she had already gathered that much. She has her hands on your cheeks to keep you close and pull you in to continue kissing you. As her hands hold you steady, your hands begin to explore her body. Your touch is almost as greedy as a teenager experiencing something like this for the first time. Yes, you've touched her body many times since the two of you have started dating. But not like this. Not without restrictions. You are free to explore her however you want and that notion has you aimless with excitement. You don't know where to start first or where to keep your hands. You have to remind yourself that there is plenty of time to explore every inch of her. If not tonight then another night. 

Wanda breaks the kiss and crawls off of your lap and stands up. She looks down at you with a grin. She tips her head towards the stairs. “Come on,” she invites you with her hand out to you. 

You shuffle off of the sofa and rise. You take her hand and all her to guide her towards her room to finally cross the line both of you have been painstakingly avoiding until now.

Chapter 24

Taglist: @princessprudy @sayah13 @awkwardmandalorian @bentleywolf29 @thatshyboy1998 @artisannat @thisischaismagic @wqndanat @madamevirgo @likefirenrain @tearsofglitter @feltlikethat @the-writer-arcane @natashasilverfox @karsonromanoff @aloneodi @lovelyy-moonlight @red1culous @jovialsublimecomputer @natasha-maximoff @iliketozoneout @doudouneverte @druggedduck @diealittlesometime @when-wolves-howl @lifespectator @justyourwritter69 @wandaromamoff69 @awesomelygayasf @nekoannie-chan @diaryoflife @wuwu96 @wandanats-goodgirl @sincerely-indi @blueredg52 @sisiofthemultifandom @fuzzyuniversityeclipsefriend @arcturusseer @scarlettwidow34 @chasethemoon @raven-ss @canyonyodeler @sokovianbaby @alexawynters @bittysworld @hopeless-romantic17177 @spongebobtentacles @the-ox-fan20 @shaniiwm @casualreadersstuff @neopolitan-torchwick

[meta-squash]

I think two of the most important things about Jack Harkness, two things that inform almost everything he does and the choices he makes, are this: that he is a soldier NOT a leader, and that his entire life since childhood has been awash in survivor's guilt (and his whole existence after becoming immortal is an even more extreme version of survivor's guilt).

Jack is not a natural leader. He can think on the fly and he's good at getting people to listen to him, but he's not good at control, or at being objective. He's a natural second in command, he's a soldier. He was brought up to do what other people told him to, and to improvise if he had to (Time Agency, etc). But I really don't think he wants to be the leader of Torchwood. Unfortunately, everything about him means that he has to be. He knows from experience that others having control over him is dangerous, others knowing about his immortality while he's a subordinate to them is dangerous, and he also knows that his own immortality gives him an advantage as a leader. But I don't think he's good at leading. He tries to be. But he's fumbling along, in a time period he's not native to and a planet he's not native to and an unfathomable lifespan, and as charming as he is I think he's often not good with people. He's detached where he should be personal and emotional where he should be detached (or at least more level-headed). He's often too extreme or not harsh enough when it comes to things like discipline or dealing with the problems/traumas/mistakes of his employees or even civilians. He can't handle his employees seeing him uncertain/vulnerable and it makes for huge problems over and over again.

But all of this does make sense because I think in the back of Jack's mind there's always this wheel spinning, these gears turning and turning and calculating the impact and trauma each of his actions or decisions or the events around him are going to have on his own emotions for far longer than normal humans tend to consider. Because the catalyst for any part of the life we see him leading is survivor's guilt. He lost his father and his brother on the same day, joined the military and lost his best friend, joined the Time Agency and lost his memories (and maybe thinks he did something terrible). Then he died, and when Rose brought him back, he was all alone on the satellite with nothing but the corpses of the people who had fought beside him and zero explanation as to why he survived, and he had lost Rose and the Doctor besides. And then all his life on earth since, he has lost coworkers and lovers and civilians he tried and failed to save and probably also aliens he tried and failed to save. And I think by the time he becomes reluctant leader of Torchwood, every action is, whether conscious or subconscious, taken with the intent of minimizing that kind of trauma and the impact of loss.

Except that I think that the survivor's guilt has another layer to it, which is that feeling of needing to sacrifice or absolve himself in some way. No one else is willing to make the difficult decisions, no one else will move forward with the painful and unpleasant actions, even if there's no other way, even though they will someday perish and no longer see the ripples of their actions. But Jack - who cannot die, who must live with the guilt or the pain or the trauma of those actions and decisions for the rest of his very very very long life - is the one who realizes that he must take on those painful responsibilities and must do certain things even though they're terrible, because it ends up being the sacrifice of one over the whole world. And every single time, he's guilty about it, and that makes him want even more to sacrifice his own hurt for the grief and loss of others.

So it's this strange cycle of wanting to protect himself from hurt and from loss and from the survivor's guilt, but being driven by guilt towards painful and/or self-sacrificing actions. Which then makes him fear being seen as vulnerable or uncertain, and he struggles to do things on a smaller scale or in a more level-headed way, because he's not supposed to be leading like this, it's not something that comes naturally, and if he makes emotional connections by being a leader, he'll end up trapped in survivor's guilt yet again each time one of his employees or friends or lovers dies.

It's just a terrible cycle and he's trapped in it for the rest of his existence. Although if he really is the Face Of Boe, then I imagine at some point he eventually finds peace with it all or something, but I think so long as he has a human-form he's stuck with this cycle of leadership and loss and sacrifice and mistakes.

I think it's really important that Jack is not good at his job as a leader. He makes a ton of mistakes, he fucks up so much and his employees or even civilians end up collateral damage, whether physically or just emotionally. He wants to be a good leader, I think, and he's trying, but he's fallible, and he's a stranger in literally every sense, and I think a really big part of his character is that he constantly is forced to live in this bizarre dichotomy where he has to be both very distant and cold and detached, and also very emotional and intense and personal. And any other person would collapse under the stress of repeating that over and over and over again for decades, but he has to figure out how to navigate this weight as an infinite existence that can't ever collapse or let it burn him up and kill him.