#so maybe like. fucking spain xD or france or some shit

[ryttu3k]

Semi-final votes and comments, now in finals order! First, the scores I gave them, with a reminder that these can and absolutely do change between semi and final.

10/12: Australia 8/12: Norway, Portugal, Moldova, Finland, Slovenia, Albania, Austria 7/12: Serbia, Sweden, Czechia, Belgium, Lithuania, Poland, Armenia 6/12: Israel, Cyprus 5/12: Croatia 4/12: Switzerland, Estonia

No numerical score for the auto qualifiers.

And, my initial comments!

Austria: Okay, this one is making me grin and is also pretty catchy. 8/12 just for doing something genuinely different!

Portugal: Oh shit this is fun. Energetic torch song in Portuguese with a red dress I'm pretty sure the singer nicked from Conchita Wurst (complementary). I'm into it! 8/12

Switzerland: Oh no, a Heavy Topic Song™. Listen I respect it but is it really Eurovision? 4/12

Poland: I feel like I'm watching an aerobics video from the 90s. Produced in Spain. Which is odd, since they're Polish. On the other hand, I am jiggling my leg! Maybe it's Second Semi Final Syndrome's lower standards? 7/12

Serbia: Staging is really strong this year! Oh we're straight video game now. Wasn't sure at first but it's definitely growing on me! 7/12

France: I'm giving them nul points based solely on being a Mr Bean enjoyer. Okay no it's not bad. Ballady vibes but could be a banger.

Cyprus: Australia's back-up entry! He came 7th in the selection show last year (Voyager came second). …yeah no dull. Oh well. 6/12

Spain: Yeah I'm gonna have to wait to see the whole thing, but looks interesting. Maybe not my thing, but interesting!

Sweden: Loreen is back, too! I do wonder about this, previous winners returning tends not to play out great unless you're Johnny Logan. …It is a bit panini press, yeah XD Yeah honestly I'm not feeling this, definitely not as much as Euphoria, which I goddamn adored. It's still really solid, it's just lacking something? I suspect it'll win XD;; 7/12

Albania: Oh there's the drama. Not in English, rad costumes! 8/12

Italy: Eh, doesn't really do much for me.

Estonia: Nifty a cure for the fact that I've been awake for nearly two hours and it's only 5:20 AM. *faceplants on the keyboard 4/12

Finland: “When your sleeves say Met Gala but your chest says Vicks VaporRub.” The fan favourite! You go dude bust out of that box. I'm not actually 100% sold on it musically, but the presentation is top notch. Oh hey I really dig that last bit, actually! Rainbows! 8/12

Czechia: Oh these visuals slap. Not 100% sold on the song itself but the presentation is really cool. 7/12

Australia: Yeah here we go! Honestly so glad we're closing the show. Very synthwavey vibes but like, synthwave goes rock. And our old friend, the wind machine! And a keytar! Fuck yeah that's a closer! 10/12

Belgium: God this gets points just for not making me fall asleep. The Ballroom vibe is fun as hell too. 7/12

Armenia: Oh god this is so slow. Armenia, it's 5:13 AM, it's too early for a slow song. There we go, picked up! Yeah, aside from the slow start, this works. 7/12

Moldova: Welcome back, Pasha! I did love Lăutar. Oh shit this is fun as hell, really digging the staging and costuming, it's got some fun folky elements but amped up. 8/12

Ukraine: It's kind of giving 90s boy band, alas.

Norway: Oh this is a strong start! Costuming is dramatic, it's got energy, I dig it! Oof, that high note didn't quite hit, though. 8/12

Germany: ‘Blood and Glitter' is a hell of a title. They look like they're gonna be fun as hell!

Lithuania: Slow start, but some big vocals to save it a bit. I'm sorry I'm so tired. 6/12

Israel: It feels listenable but in the most generic way possible? Like, “Okay, start with interesting visuals, put some soaring vocals in, now do a rap bit, now do a dance, now end with pyros!” Like objectively I'm not sure there's anything wrong with it but it just feels… generic!! 6/12

Slovenia: Points for not English + I kinda want the lead singer's shirt + it's funky + band! With instruments! It's certainly no Maneskin, but yeah, definitely favourite of the night so far! 8/12

Croatia: Myf (Australian commentator) just described them as bonkers so I am eagerly awaiting this. …It is indeed bonkers! Not sure about the weird military-esque vibe but it's also giving somewhat cheerleader? Okay this is basically nigh unlistenable but it does get Bonkers Points™. 5/12

United Kingdom: It's certainly not bad! It's just very… more of the same, I guess?

So starting out with a really fun one, Australia and Finland have not-great places in the very middle of the pack, and we're ending with something very… samey. Well, we'll see how it goes!

[caroline-price-blog]

Oh, no way.

Babe! It’s Trappist 1!

[linos-teeth]

i got tagged

in the 50 questions and the about me tag by @chngbok ty browse!! these are a lot of questions and idk who i want to bother with them (unless you wanna be bothered then consider yourself tagged) but in case you wanna know some random stuff abt me there’s a lot of that under the cut!

what takes too much of your time?

currently, fic writing for sure

what makes your day better?

uhhh ideas, music, skz (except lino bc he literally just makes me cry)

what is the best thing that happened to you today?

lino in the victory song dance practice? (wow there's a theme already)

what fictional place would you like to go to?

hmmmmm the arbor wilds, the crossroads, the forge, h-047c, watford

are you good at giving advice?

nah

do you have any mental illness?

uhhhh not theoretically (as in not diagnosed oops)

have you ever experienced sleep paralysis?

luckily not

what musician inspired you the most?

boy i rly can't say, usually it's writers or games that inspire me and music not so much?

have you fallen in love?

most likely yeah

what’s your dream date?

idk man surprise me like...going out exploring and doing things i haven't done before that don't include any drugs or stuff also movies are good

what do others notice about you?

my hair (it's long)

what is an annoying habit that you have?

biting my uh...the skin next to my nails? and my lips? i guess?

do you still talk to your first love?

ha nah

how many ex’s do you have?

zero

how many songs are in your playlist?

i have 685 deezer faves

what instruments do you play?

piano, idk if recorder counts, used to play the oboe but...not any more

who do you have the most pictures of?

myself XD, my da/me chars, also random idol pictures for reaction memes

where would you like to go before you die?

uhhhhh a lot of places like...there's a lot of cities in europe i still wanna see and i wanna go back to paris and london and i also would love to visit like 294503 national parks in the us also maybe a desert (bc stars) and somewhere far north (for northern lights)

what’s your zodiac?

scorpio

do you relate to it?

nope

what is happiness to you?

just like...a content feeling? like...idk words for it but when you just stop and go like fuck this is rly good i'm rly comfy rn and not sad??? like just being good in your own skin?

are you going through anything right now?

not more than usual

what’s the worst decision you’ve ever made?

i made a few sucky time management decision throughout my uni time and still am so i guess that

what’s your favorite store?

what's a store

what’s your opinion on abortion?

i don't rly think i get to say much abt it while i'm not in a position where i can talk yknow? you should be allowed to but i imagine it's tough as shit too

do you keep a bucket list?

nah

do you have a favorite album?

A FEW there's wildness by snow patrol and mania by fob and wild world by bastille and miroh (that's currently tho that shit changes a lot)

what do you want for your birthday?

my birthday isn't happening for a while and what i want i kinda need before so xD for my birthday i wish i could be with my family but i won't be able to :/

what are most people’s first impression of you?

uhhhhh awk i guess which is right, also rly smart and like...organised which is wrong

what age to you seem according to most people?

apparently like 16, i always get asked when i finish school

where do you keep your phone while sleeping?

on my bed next to my pillow, stuffed under some plushies

what word do you say the most?

idk honestly i don't talk much probably some expletive

what’s the oldest age would you date?

idk man i'm not rly attracted to ppl much older than me never have been if it ever happened they'd prolly be like 2 years younger oops that's like the norm with crushes

what’s the youngest age would you date?

oh uh see above i guess like...currently i'm 23 so like? not younger than 20?

what job/career do most people say sould suit you?

they don't rly say anything abt that xD

what’s your favorite music genre?

uhhh rock? alt stuff? i love some folk and some pop too and i'm a slut for lofi

if you would live in any country in the world, where would it be?

here tbh

what’s your current favorite song?

u h h probably still chronosaurus! doesn't look like it's leaving that spot any time soon oops

how long have you have this blog for?

a bit over a month now?

what are you excited for?

how pathetic is it if i say my summer course? idk just...smth new i guess i'm looking forward to it (not to being away from games and photoshop)

are you a better talker or a listener?

listener

what is the last productive thing you did?

i finished vacuuming the house today

what do you want for Christmas?

s h r u g

what classes do you get the best grades in?

language stuff, music

on a scale of 1-10 how are you feeling right now?

a 4? maybe?

what can you see yourself doing in 10 years?

idk man i wanna go into speech therapy so?? that? or research even? but i gotta get into the masters first rip

when did you first get your heartbreak?

oh dear. probably like...in kindergarten when my crush was an absolute ass (so far, 80% of them have been there's a theme) i was pathetic

at what age do you want to get married?

idk man i guess in like 100 years when someone finally decides they rly want to put up with this mess

what career did you want to have as a child?

florist, author, actress

what do you crave right now?

hugs? and drawing skill

1. How tall are you?

i'm jisung-sized

2. What color are your eyes?

hazel

3. What color and style is your hair?

uhhhh dark blonde would be the accurate desc prolly? it's like...blondebrowngoldish and too long and i usually braid it and i have a super messy fringe

4. Do you wear glasses?

no

5. Do you have braces?

luckily not!

6. What’s your fashion sense?

casual and basic with a dash of experimental and sometimes a bit cutesy

7. Full name?

8. When were you born?

long, long ago, too long ago

9. Where are you from and where do you live

germany!

10. What school(s) do you go to?

no more school for me, i'm going to university

11. What kind of student are you?

the one that kinda gets by far too well for procrastinating so badly (all i have to say in my defense is that i'm anxious as shit abt everything)

12. Do you like school?

i used to!! like...the last 3 and first 3 years were chill

13. Fav subject?

music, history, english, latin

14. Fav TV shows?

i rly only watch b99 but i would be careful calling it my favorite since like...3 eps ago

15. Fav books?

my current fave is less by andrew sean greer (aka it was my fave last autumn and i've read like 3 since and they weren't super great)

16. Fav pastimes?

uhhh writing gaming music and lately, giffing too!

17. Do you have any regrets?

a couple

18. Dream job?

i mean i do still wish i could just like...do smth artsy like be an author or an illustrator but i'm bad at writing and literally cannot draw at all so

19. Would you ever like to be married?

yes absolutely

20. Would you like to have children?

kinda yeah?

21. If so, how many?

2

22. Do you like shopping?

only for a limited amount of time

23. What countries have you visited?

denmark, norway, france, the uk, spain, italy, austria, slovakia, we also drove through switzerland like twice

24. Scariest nightmare you’ve ever had?

uhhhhhh basically all of the end of the world/war scenario dreams i've had?

25. Any enemies?

does myself count

26. Do you have a significant other?

nah

27. Do you get along with your family?

yeah? we're not super close but we don't hate each other

28. Do you believe in miracles?

I BELIEVE IN MIRACLES WHERE YA FROM YOU SEXY THING no but rly i do

29. How are you?

not terrible

[sole-cuore-amore-e-droga]

Eurovision 2018 Rehearsals Day 6 - Actual first impressions

Armenia: Ooh I love them stacked-up sticks of lighting, it’s like some sort of an unbuilt fence. Sevak sells this song well enough. Nothing else to say, really. Oh yeah and for once I liked the camera shots in a preview clip. Good job Sacha?

Switzerland: Camerawork was decent too but there was this one looooong panning-zoomout shot that I didn’t like. I also didn’t mind Corinne’s clothing this time as opposed to last time. And they gave a camera shot to her brother, too.

Ireland: I still hope they don’t focus the camera WAY too much on the dancers where the main point is supposed to be the performer, not funny background events. There’s at least one shot on him and one spinning shot including him and the lady (I think it’s a lady) on the piano, and that’s good. And yes, whatever was focusing on the dancer boys in the music-video setting worked out well as well but I just don’t want this to be the music video’s replica (well at least it doesn’t seem like it as we have some... even more ‘extra’ dance moves out of this).

Cyprus: We haven’t had a proper slutpop winner since 2005... and a proper rock winner since 2006... so which is better? Also yeah Cyprus is waiting for a victory for longer too, but what else is? Iceland. And they don’t fucking stand a chance. Look, I’m all in for all first time winner countries to happen before I die (which is DEFINITELY not going to happen because we have San Marino and they still haven’t fixed their shit :’) ) but I don’t really want Eurovision to award countries that have waited for that long to do so sorted out by the number of the years of waiting the longest. I mean, with this pattern you get Lisbon 2018, Nicosia 2019, Reykjavik 2020, Valletta 2021, Ljubljana 2022 and so on. With some countries not getting their shit together (looking at you Malta, please stop selecting mediocre/harmless MESC songs as winners), I’d rather if they wait for longer for them than have this pattern followed. (also Budapest 20xx deserves to happen, whether AWS make it happen or not) So I’m sorry about being this bitter, I just... am not a huge fan of this entry as much as I am of the past Cypriot entries. Why the big praise for the ones I’m not that fond of? :( And oh yeah I forgot to talk about performance. Fire, red, choreography, hair. Well at least Romania isn’t in their semi (though if you guys wanted it to fail so badly then you think it should be, that’s sad, I hope that actually no one thinks like this), so we could witness one hair flip a day. Dunno if both will qualify though so there WOULD be 2 in 1 day... :’) (Oh yeah, and Laura Rizzotto’s hair flicks. Flicks, not flips. She might do a flip though)

Norway: And suddenly everyone is not a fan of this. I’m not exactly sure why. Rybak works the stage. I assume it’s because people are already fed up of him even if it’s been so long since he made into Eurovision as a performer. And that he won in the past, too. Well I don’t really want it to win either but since Poland, the guiding torch for all the other competitors for victory, is in their semi, then it might. But Norway 2009 won and Poland didn’t qualify that year. All 3 times Poland didn’t qualify, the winner was either Rybak, a big 5 country or a mediocre dark horse. I hope they qualify so the winner could be a GOOD dark horse. ;) (”You ride a black horse in the rain” - Hovi Star)

Romania: Eh it’s okay for what it is. They got one camera shot wrong though as a guy was escaping his mannequin-challenge pose at the end of it when he was supposed to act like a mannequin. I am not sure how will they get the staging of that moment right enough though but I hope it works decently out, yeah

Serbia: The thumbnail of their rehearsal’s (eurovision.tv courtesy) looks like it’s a typical Balkan song surrounding. Backing vocalist ladies come up to the main singer and stare into the distance like they’ve seen some sh*t. And then they start singing together with the singer in front. Anyway the sound mixing here is terrible but I hope the crowd elevates the feel. (Also they were doing an instagram takeover with The Humans, and unfortunately their journey has ended as soon as Big 5 + host country started rehearsing.)

San Marino: Now with that “Justice for Valentina” sign I can finally compile my “post-nf-pre-ESC-week-season” moments moodboard! Anyway, even with the cameras it’s a big hot mess, the dancers/backings are pointless, they better only keep the robots. Actually, I do want to see some backings. Bring on Basti! Also also, Jenny B’s costume is ugly and I’d rather if she kind of does something like Valentina last year but more youthful and less like ‘your mom tries to be cool again’.

Denmark: Yep, pretty much like the NF staging, except that there’s some pointless pink that shines on Rasmussen’s face. What for..? Trust me, I don’t know either!

Portugal: Oh so they got rid of the chair. As per the banned items request or as per Benjamin’s request? Also I love that Nirvana’s shirt of Isaura’s, reminds me of the lead singer of Musiqq turning in the first rehearsal of Latvia’s with a Spongebob shirt. xD I guess it’s simple enough of a thing there performance-wise? They don’t need to do much, just enough to keep it intimate?

United Kingdom: Oh lights. Something like Levina’s music video last year. I am not sure if this will get UK anywhere that great but I sure hope it’s not too dead of a last if it’s unfortunately last.

Spain: Togetherness. Are they just staring at each other while singing for this whole performance or is there more action to this love? We might not know just yet... but I hope they do something else at some point. Like, dramatically introducing out of nowhere when they begin singing their lines or something.

Germany: All these countries biting their nails about what they’re gonna do without any LEDs in Lisbon and Germany’s just like ‘fuck it, I’mma bring my own one anyway”. Sadly, they come across as ridiculously over-the-top, especially with the silhouettes and the black-white color spinning you see on these hypnosis toys or so. Not to mention, the chorus graphics are just THAT incredibly cartooney that I couldn’t really stand them. I’m thinking this could drop in my overall ranking of 2018 because the song just doesn’t feel too “wow” anymore and it’s just...

Italy: I waited for this so friggin long because I wanted to know about what they decided on about the on-screen shenanigans to make sure this is more than “two men being aggresive for 3 minutes”. And... I think they’re doing something about it, with lines of their song in different languages on different places and accompanying graphics and all. Really playing the sentimental card here. But I’ve yet to see a winner which relied on lots of on-screen effects (for Sweden 2015 it was on-stage effects more than on-screen). We had France 2014 being on-screen effects-heavy, we had Italy 2016 and Bulgaria 2017 relying on simple on-screen white stuff, Israel 2015 had an on-screen snapshot effect at the end of their performance. This... is just ‘extra’ as heck.

France: I thought I was gonna see more people gearing towards French City That Is Mostly The Capital One 2019 idea but it seems that there’s something off about the package so far. Maybe it’s the lack of an audience to do the hand gesture with them? Maybe it’s the unfashionable shoe choice? Oh I don’t know, I’m still holding onto that theory it’s Tallinn 2019 and still would love Sofia 2019 if there’s no one else that I would want to win is topping the charts...

[zumaya-onepieceoc]

TAGGED!! YEAH! In DA

I wanted to publish it here, because I feel very happy and grateful.

→ Tagged by : :iXXXPranDoggyXXX and Totkaeppchen, Thank you for tagged me, that will be fun! >:3

→ Rules : - All questions must be answered - Tag at least 10 people, regardless if you know them or not - No back tag - Answer all questions on a journal. NOT on the comment ♦ Q1 : Who are you ? I'm a crazy happy girl.

♦ Q2 : Why did you picked this username ? Well, it's my date of birth. I wanted to put something original, in principle was going to have another name like that of my msn. "The madwoman of the meadow." XDD But I thought that would scare the others.

♦ Q3 : Do you make RP's (roleplay) on DA ? Yes, I do it's so funny for me or entertaining . Makes me happy, on this momment I'm alone, but ok. I have friends of distance, and they are amazing!. PR makes me feel happy, as I further study veterinary studies, and I'm in a new place, I do not know anyone. Unfortunately. Because of my father's work I do not stop traveling because he is a military man. Making friends costs me a lot because everyone noticed that I have a different accent, and that does not seem to like the others. but I'm okay. So I can focus more on my studies. , But in some places where I have traveled I made friends and I speak with them through wassap. But the PR makes me laugh or feel fine.

♦ Q4 : What's your Art Style ? MY ART STYLE!? I don't really know. XDD I'm lost XDD hehe

♦ Q5 : Do you click on "Preview" first before you post your comment ? EEEEhhh I'm little lost with that, I think I do that for remember the conversation. (Is this a good answer? Or am I wrong?)

♦ Q6 : Do you hate people with grammar writing lazyness?? Of course NOT! Making mistakes makes us human and we learn from mistakes, I make many mistakes in grammar of english.(You can see xd). ♦ Q7 : English or your foreign language on DeviantART ? I use English and Spanish. I can speak french but no writting french XD.

♦ Q8 : Ever had a boyfriend/girlfirend ?   No. xd Neither boyfriend nor girlfriend.

♦ Q9 : Would you comfort up your friend when he/she's worried/sad? Or are you cold hearted as fuck?? Of course I always worry about other I like to see people be happy. I will try to make them feel better. I like to act like a psycholog, some friends use me for be her psychology and talk to me and tell me things in whatsapp, maybe I should have gotten into psychology and not veterinary.

♦ Q10 : What's your nationality ? spanish from Spain

♦ Q11 : Describe yourself through your zodiac sign and all the other aspects you know of yourself ?

I'm libra. I like meet people but with some people I'm shy and I am really friendly. I like to meet new people, but to get away from the Toxic people. I can forgive easily but sometimes I do not forgetI have had friends in some places, and when we went out partying or going for a walk together, I love making jokes of almost any kind. One of my biggest flaws is that I always think. '' What would they think of me? '' that makes me worry, I do not want have enemys. And I also listen to all the comments even the negatives of me.

♦ Q12 : Do you travel through different places of this wolrd ? Yes. France, Belgium, Morocco, Germany, and some Spanish islands and also to different places in Spain. And next summer I'm going to do a trip in several countries with something called '' interail '' something like that.

♦ Q13 : Trafalgar Law is Hit! Doflamingo is shit! You agree ? OOOohhh I see, this was created by a fan of One Piece. I had not realized until now. Law is serious but he has his moments. And doflamingo is unique. But I have no interest in either. 

♦ Q14 : Do you chat with people (even with stranges) on DevianART ? Of course! I have friends and they are amazing! ♦ Q15 : Ever uploaded mature Art? I never did it in digital drawing but I'm not afraid to do it, in art school towards mud sculptures of naked bodies, one day I upload a photo of my sculpture if you want. I have no problem doing adult things. But at the moment I do not have the need. I'm almost 20 years old. For me, naked bodies are art. ♦ Q16 : Ever played One Piece Dance Battle? No, but I think I can  try some day. 

Already named the 10 people in DA. If it were for me, I would mention them all, but with some I get a little shy and I can not.  I can see I have a nicest persons in the distance. Thanks again. Now I can not complain about loneliness.

-------

I've only been in this for a month and I'm very grateful. It may seem stupid but to me it is not. Thank you very much to all. 

[amagizoologistscase]

Mun interview

REPOST, DON’T REBLOG

This is really long so I will put it all under a cut!

1) Are you really ready for 111 questions?

I’m here aren’t I?

2) Where are you taking this test at?

At home

3) Was your last real relationship a mistake?

Sure

4) Who did you last say “I love you” to?

Does my dog count? If not probably my mum or dad.

5) Do you regret it?

Of course not

6) Have you ever been depressed?

Yes

7) Are you a boy or girl?

Woman

8) Do you have a job?

Yes, two

9) What is your relationship status?

Single as fuck

10) How do you want to die?

Well that’s glum. Old and ready to go.

11) What did you last eat?

Eggs

12) Played any sports?

That wasn’t forced (school) no? I went horse riding for years and sometimes competed show jumping and dressage (once).

13) Do you bite your nails?

Yes

14) When was your last physical fight?

Lmao. I don’t know, probably a bitch fight with my brother as a kid.

15) Do you have an attitude?

Is shy an attitude? XD Well I can be very sarcastic.

16) Do you like someone?

Yes

17) What is your real name?

Cathrine

18) What is the background of you computer screen?

My dog as a puppy

19) Are you gonna get high later?

Eh, no? Not my thing.

20) Do you hate anyone at the moment?

My boss. Like, I don’t think I have hated another person this much in my entire life. That man is a terribly manipulative awful man. Luckily he’s out next friday and hopefully I’ll never see him again.

21) Do you miss someone?

Hmmm

22) Twirl or cut your spaghetti?

I cut my spaghetti a little then twirl.

23) Do you tan a lot?

Lmao never. 

24) Have any pets?

A one year old dog named Lumos <3

25) How exactly are you feeling?!

I’m feeling quite good now whenever I don’t think about my job.

26) Ever eaten food in a car while someone or yourself is driving?

Yes. Ever been on a road trip? A girl’s gotta eat.

27) Ever made out in the bathroom?

No

28) Would you take any of your exes back?

No

29) Are you afraid of spiders?

Oh man I hate them!!

30) Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

I think so

31) Do you regret anything from your past?

I do

32) What are your plans for this weekend?

I work basically every weekend because of my two jobs so - work? I did get friday off though so tomorrow I just wanna watch movies and drink alcohol lol

33) Do you want to have kids?

No

34) Did you ever kiss someone whose name starts with an M?

No

35) Do you type fast?

If I know what to write

36) Do you have piercings?

Only ears

37) Want any more?

No. I barely even wear my earrings

38) Can you spell well?

Well, better in norwegian than english since it’s my first language. English is naturally harder, but I’d like to think I do alright?

39) Do you miss anyone from your past?

Yes, my old dog that passed away in 2012. He was there through my teens and for almost fifteen years. Loosing him really left a mark (literally, got a big tattoo of him). So while it doesn’t hurt like it did when I first lost him I do think of him a lot since I see a lot of him in Lumos (my current dog).

40) What are you craving right now?

Alcohol would be nice. 

41) Ever been to a bonfire party?

Uhm. Well, I’ve been to occasions with bonfires, but wouldn’t have called it a party.

42) Have you ever been to jail?

Nope

43) Have you ever been on a horse?

Oh plenty of times. I love it.

44) Kissed someone in a pick up truck?

That’s oddly specific, but no.

45) Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

Don’t think so? Doubt I ever have any effect on any people.

46) Have you ever been cheated on?

No

47) Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

No

48) What time is it currently?

As of typing this, 23.20

49) Would you live with someone without marrying them?

Sure, but I’m bit of a loner.

50) What should you be doing?

Right now? Nothing particularly.

51) What’s irritating you right now?

That I’m kinda bored, but kinda not, but don’t know what to do about it XD Also my boss.

52) Have you ever liked someone so much that it hurts?

Uhm... It hurts liking someone and know I’ll never be anyones type sure.

53) Does somebody love you?

I sure as fuck hope so. But yes. My parents love me. My dog loves me.

54) What is your favorite color?

Red and emerald green

55) Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?

Yes

57) Do you have trust issues?

Nah not really before I am given reason to.

58) You are over half way done with this. Are you sure you want to continue?

This is getting pretty boring too, but I don’t have other plans so... sure.

59) Do you have any siblings?

I do have an older brother 

60) Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

Yes

61) Do you live with anyone?

My dog, if he counts. He counts, shut up.

62) Do you believe your most recent ex thinks about you?

No

63) Who was the last person you cried in front of?

Oh probably my mum. At least over phone.

64) Do you give out second chances too easily?

Considering how anti-social I am I rarely get in situations where this is needed. Maybe a little so when I was younger.

65) Is it easier to forgive or forget?

Forgive. Math questions I can never remember, but everything painful I never forget. Brain, you realize remembering math and shit like that would be more useful yes?

66) Is this year the best year of your life?

No. Though it’s not the worst and I’m doing some importan life changes health wise. But my work life is bringing me down a lot.

67) What was your childhood nickname?

Cathy basically, but it doesn’t sound very well in Norwegian so strangely enough I have never minded that people go by my full name.

68) Have you ever walked outside completely naked?

Holy hell no

69) What is your motto in life?

I don’t have a motto

70) Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

Neh. Maybe. I don’t know.

71) What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

Brush my teeth and go to bed, cuddle my dog while telling him that it really isn’t time to play games now.

72) Do you have a best friend?

Yes

73) What is bothering you?

I feel like this question is very similar to what irritates me. My job bothers me. My boss bothers me. Boredom bothers me. This meme is starting to bother me. The fact that I called this interview meme bothers me. 

74) Have you ever been out of your country?

Of course. Sweden, Denmark, France, England, Ireland, Scotland, Canada, Spain, Germany, Poland, Crete... Might have forgotten some. I want to see a lot more of the world.

75) Do you play the Wii?

If I play I play x-box 360. Not much of a gamer, but I do have a few games I love.

76) Are you listening to music right now?

No

77) Do you like Chinese food?

Not particularly

78) Do you know your fathers b- day?

More or less. I am terrible at birthdays.

79) Are you afraid of the dark?

Not as much as when I was a kid, but I do always have one light on in my apartment so when I wake up I can see a little. So in that sense I’m not afraid, but uncomfortable. If you want to have me walk in the forest at night however I can tell you right now there is no fucking way I will do that.

80) Is cheating ever okay?

Hurting people is never okay.

81) Are you mean?

I could be meaner. I should be meaner. Without being truly mean of course, but being too good never gets you anywhere in this world it seems.

82) Can you keep white shoes clean?

I can’t keep black shoes clean XD

83) What was the last song you listened to?

According to my mobile playlist Ellie Goulding’s Love Me Like You Do

84) Do you believe in true love?

Not before I see it :/

85) What are you currently wearing?

A sundress

86) What do you wear to bed?

A long PJ top or shirtless.

87) What is the weather like right now?

We have had both sun and dark clouds today, but no rain. 

88) Do you like the outside?

I do

89) Are you currently bored?

By now I am very bored yes.

90) Do you wanna get married?

Probably yes

91) Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

In Norwegian it just sounds odd to me. In English maybe.

92) Are you hungry?

No

93) Have you ever made out for more than a half hour straight?

No

94) What makes you happy?

A lot of things makes me happy. My dog, my family, traveling, a good movie, good music, fun stuff, animals, good results of hard work, my boss getting the boot...

95) Would you change your name?

Nah. I have added my mother’s maiden name into a middle name, but otherwise no. I might not have the most exciting name, but I’ve had it since I was born so why change it.

96) Ever been to Alaska?

Sadly no.

98) Do you watch the news?

Occasionally. I am more likely to read the news. 

99) What’ s your zodiac sign?

Libra

100) Do you like Subway?

Not particularly. Quite indifferent about it really.

101) Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

Yes

102) Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

No idea

103) Do you talk like your friends?

Do I talk like my friends? What does that even mean? Accent? Language? 

104) What do you plan to do with the rest of your day?

Considering there’s midnight in a few minutes I’d say finishing this thing is one plan XD

105) Have you ever seen someone you knew & purposely avoided them?

Oh yes

106) Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?

I have friends, but not that many friends and not men sadly.

107) who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

Dad

108) Does it matter if your boyfriend/girlfriend smokes?

I wouldn’t like it.

109) Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

A co-worker

110) Favorite lyrics right now?

Sleeping At Last - Saturn (This song is just so beautiful. I love it so much. Too much.)

You taught me the courage of stars before you left How light carries on endlessly, even after death With shortness of breath, you explained the infinite How rare and beautiful it is to even exist

I couldn't help but ask you to say it all again I tried to write it down but I could never find a pen I'd give anything to hear you say it one more time That the universe was made just to be seen by my eyes

I couldn't help but ask you to say it all again I tried to write it down but I could never find a pen I'd give anything to hear you say it one more time That the universe was made just to be seen by my eyes

With shortness of breath, I'll explain the infinite How rare and beautiful it truly is that we exist

111) Tag 10 people

@teapotauror, @perdiditpuerorumposts, @tolcveistodestrcy... I... no. Not ten people. I’ve spent too much time on this already christ...

[kanaruaizawa16]

Mental barriers, national identity, Nairo Quintana, and other ramble epically long random dramas

Probably with the lack of existence of a competitive ciclying fandom on tumblr, who can spam me of posts when Giro D’Italia or (especially) Le Tour (and in case of it having, I highly doubt to find someone who likes a fucking load Quintana and is not a Colombian, or Cal Banana Crutchlow who I think he likes everybody, or the random French citizen who married a Colombian woman and now he became a plot twist), probably nobody will understand my drama. But I have no regrets.

(long text ramble. Click on “read more if you wanna read it)

There are only six Colombian citizens I’ve ever drawn:

1. Me 2. A former friend who sadly was one of most stupid, negative and pretentious people I ever met in my life, and who I cut bounds with in 2010 3. A friend who actually works in fashion journalism and is fucking intelligent and cool 4. Another friend who is major in Psychology, intelligent and kind, and if it was not because she does not use Tumblr anymore, she would be the only person of Nairo Quintana fandom in Tumblr 5. Yonny Hernández, the first Colombian on going to MotoGP (2012-2016) and who will go back to Moto2 this year, and strangely, I like him because he gave me a funny advice without even asking him: “Don’t worry so much”... and the guy is not even known at all not even in Colombia XD 6. Nairo Quintana, one of most interesting people of international competitive ciclying. 2014 winner of Giro D’Italia and 2016 winner of Vuelta a España, among other things. And the reason of the text I am writing:

It’s truth I speak openly I am from Colombia. And also that I am from the Triple Border Peru-Colombia-Brazil from Amazon Forest. Most exactly from the most southeast city of Colombia, Leticia. But this does not mean necessarily I am that comfortable with being from this country. I am not particularly comfortable with my “national identity”. I even sometimes feel more comfortable with being from Amazon area rather than to be from this country because the way the Colombian of the big cities is so mean with the ones of little towns. And for average Colombian of big city, the ones who shaped the conception of being from this country, the identities of Amazonia region are... honestly, a “zero on the left”.

To be from Colombian Amazon shaped some things. The most relevant on here, t’s that It shaped my relationship with the people of the “interior”, where is most concentrated the power. It also shaped how much I dislike the attitude of average Colombians of being so self-centered and thinking everything is like on here.

And in motorsports, as a fandom who shaped most of who I am, it shaped several things, who affect also how I see any sport. Colombia has no motorsports tradition. The only properly succesful person on this is Juan Pablo Montoya, and for most Colombian people, his time in F1 was a “fluke”. He became just an anecdote and someone like a Takuma Sato for most people internationally. Only on Champcar (1999 champion) and Indycar he is really loved. This, in United States. I owe JPM to follow F1. I knew this thanks to the F1-boom on here of 2001-2004. And most importantly: I owe him that I found someone who I would truly love because of being amazing no matter the part of the world: Ayrton Senna. It’s highly known Montoya was a Senna fan. I knew about Senna because an old cheap journal talked about him, about how he was the idol of Montoya and about, of course, the epicfail shit of Imola 94. Of course the way I am a fan of Senna ended up shaped by my regional identity (because of my close contact due knowing Portuguese with how Brazilian people sees him) and the tensions it has with other things of me.

But...

The fluke of Montoya and the way he was dumped of McLaren in 2006 was one of reasons who shaped a thing of me: I became cold like ice with my fellows because I don’t like to get disappointed. In fact it’s one of reasons I see so badly that in Spain Fernando Alonso became so loved and some idiots because of it began to hate Sebastian Vettel or Lewis Hamilton. It’s the same insulting narrative for what Brazilian fans of Ayrton Senna who do not even care really about F1 are so jerks with Alain Prost or Michael Schumacher. But at least Alonso or Senna were/are succesful. Very succesful, with titles and all. At least Alonso, before of fluke, got two titles. Montoya... nope.

The most popular sport in Colombia, is football. In detriment of other sports. But Colombian football players have it hard for get in the same leagues of Brazil, Uruguay and Argentina in levels of tradition and recognizement inside Latin America. And with exception of some cases, rarely become recognized on international football. If you are a foreigner fan of Real Madrid, you will laugh, but here the national media is doing a fucking drama, a fucking soap opera over the situation of James Rodriguez and putting him as a victim of Zidane. But I have the feeling that nobody cares about him really, and some merengues see his contratation as part of the bad habit of the team of contract loads of people for later let them dumped. I saw it coming.

Time learned me something hard and dark: Nobody, regarding pop culture, nobody cares outside Colombia, of Colombian issues. Sad, cruel, but truth. I learned Shakira is seen as “another random pop celeb” (She is seen in Colombia or as a goddess or as a “betrayer” due her tendence to adopt the accents of her romantic partners of other countries. And I was a fan of her). And when my fellows in sport become succesful, if it’s a famous sport, they do not get international fandom.

The 90% of the hype with the gold medals of Mariana Pajón in BMX were from.... Colombians. Ibargüen in triple jump on Rio 2016? COLOMBIAN HYPE ALL TIME. And I do not trust my own fellows even with deserved, objective success. I do not trust my fellows, I do not even trust myself. I hate to feel “Colombian bias”. For me it’s bad, and stupid.

I feel so sad. I see guys of other countries getting fans of all the world. I see Messi, I see the Ronaldo’s, Romário, Neymar, having fans of everywhere. I see in motorsports how everybody has fans everywhere regardless of from where the person is. I can see it in F1. Even the most loser ones (except Haryanto XD, Indonesia is a similar case like Colombia). Even fucking Takuma Sato has international fans, not only in Japan. MotoGP? Despite of the pathetic overpatriotic attitude of some Spaniards with their own fellows (let’s be honest: The only Spaniards who are internationally famous are Márquez, Lorenzo, Pedrosa, Viñales, Pol Espargaró, and... maybe the leader of the commitee of homage to deceased riders, JULITOOOOO SIMÓN), I can see how many people has fans of everywhere. When Ranka-san drew Yonny Hernández, I admit I felt warm in my heart and I wanted to cry. I could not imagine he would get a birthday drawing of someone who is not Colombian. And so well done.

I went used to unrecognizement and disappointment and I saw it as normal. “Colombia is not a cool country. We do not care to anybody, and it does not help at all how attention seekers and self-centered are some of us”.

It reflected the most when I saw first time a prize award ceremony of Tour De France, in 2013. It was the debut attempt of Nairo Quintana. I was reading twistah at same time. He got second general place, and mountain winner of that year, and best rookie. I felt sad with the discrepance of the idiocies of Colombian media, putting the situation as if everybody on ALL THE FUCKING WORLD was happy with him... and what I was seeing on twistah, especially speakers of anything but Spanish Language. Everybody noticed more Froome (of course) and Sagan. This was a nasty eye-opener. People only cared for Nairo because he was from Colombia. I felt angry. And sad. And more distrustful of liking my fellows. As if it will never work. I even fear to support my fellows for later seeing disappointment and seeing “things will be always the same”. And blaming myself for softening my rules.

Call it exitism, or hating for my own country. Or an obsessive hiperrationality that gets exaggerated when identity issues are coming along.

Then, Quintana gets the Giro in 2014. It was first time I felt: “Wow, maybe Quintana will become something greater and someone who will truly be worldwide recognized and loved and spammed and fandomed and memeable by everybody”. And some time later, in 2015, I saw the precious video of the “plot twist” of the French guy who went to meet Quintana, with even a shirt of Colombian Football National Team (!!), and a Colombian flag around (!!!!), tried to talk him with a funny Spanish and get his sign and tell him he named his son after Nairo. I only felt that French guy was not that impressive anymore when he said “My wife is Colombian”. The “plot twist” comment I did was because I never expect people of Europe liking my fellows.

And in my country happened a FUCKING LOT OF HYPE after of the Vuelta a España. And look that now a generation of badasses coming from our piece of Andes mountain chain (where Quintana is da boss) is coming all around. Urán, Pantano (who I heard via radio, with my beloved father, his first victory on Tour De France in 2016), Dayer the lil bro of Nairo, Chaves, Aacona (the glasses guy)... but this was another level of ohmaifuckinggods. And even me I can feel the dimensions of this.

I will tell you something: Ciclying had been historically, more relevant of the construction of the idea of contemporary Colombian than football. Everybody, even me (this is not my fandom), know a lil bit of it. I even heard something: “the real national sport of Colombia is ciclying”, and with the flow of time, I believe it more. We have our own thing of national going for all country competence, the Vuelta a Colombia. Since 50s. Ciclying is followed for loads of people in all the country thanks to radio. Of all the ages and social positions. Especially in rural areas.

Do you know from where come Quintana brothers? Boyacá, in the central area of Colombia, from where come my father and all my late grandparents with exception of mother-side grandpa. There are a good load of mountains due Andes. Most cities are in high areas. It’s cold, fucking cold (Tunja makes look the weather of Bogotá like a joke). And they are fucking hard. And guess what, most rural people had used bicycle as transportation. Everyday, to school or for working. Everybody. Of course in case of the ones who become competitive, maybe there are differential of initial talent and of course getting better training conditions, but for begin with, to get the Andes is so normal for so many.

And, I wanted to draw Quintana for years since that 2013. But the feeling of that maybe I would fail with my feelings stopped me. I had fear of expose my feelings and ideas about this. Like “come on Kanaru, this is not your fandom” or “people will point to you one day”. I have no credibility. I will be so easy of point out as following a trend or being biased, he same way I am so harsh with everybody and especially with myself. I began to attempt drawings of him, portraits, sketches, but it was so hard. I felt ashamed and guilty initially. But secretely I read stuff about him. He happened to be impressive, cool and interesting, for real. And, an authentic icy who can keep calm no matter what. To the point of that I believe the reason Nairo, such a serious and icy guy, has in my country too many overhyped, cheesy fans, is because of Universal Balance.

The drawing was so simple in colouring, and shapes. I could get cool on getting a proper expression on him. But I think that’s not the most important. I think the interesting was.. it was I could draw him. Get the perfect expression, the cool aura. Making him recognizable. It was the thing I could break off in my mind. An art block I carried from mid 2016. Some insecurities, and worries.

Probably it’s his success who also is helping me to get the best of me. Getting some impossible and unexpected things. Or maybe that it is getting too tiresome the excessive control I put on myself.

I suspect this fanart affected me. In a way, Nairo Quintana did “plot twist” me. And probably to a lot of people. He already caused me a strange effect I tried to negate for these three years and a half. Now I find myself complaining on twistah because I could not send him a proper Birthday message with this drawing. He had a hashtag and I did nor know until now.

I feel that the fact I did draw him twisted me even more. The last time I felt so twisted was in early 2009, when I decided to draw properly and in computer to Ayrton Senna for very first time. (Actually it was mixed between handmade and computer who did not look very well, especially because I had no tablet at the time). It was an illustration for a old story. Of course Quintana-san and Senna-san are very different people. Beginning with that Ayrton is not anymore on this world. And the dramas linked to them in my life are different.

But there is something in common: I’ve broke mental barriers and doing such drawings did something very strong in my brain.

Right no I am about to write Quintana-san. I hope to don’t be cheesy and mellow. Even though it means to ruin the equilibrium of the world. Now you know, if the world ends, it’s my fault for sending something cool to Quintana-san. LOL