#so maybe if i mention how nice my besties parents were about me coming out she'll knock it off
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my brother is having an anniversary party tomorrow night which i have to go to even though i will be dying on account of not having slept enough all week and also because ill be doing kendo for like 8 hours straight beforehand. and it would be fine except my mother will also be there so im gonna spend the whole time getting microaggressed about being on hrt
#one thing about my mam though is that more than anyone else i know she is succeptible to peer pressure#so maybe if i mention how nice my besties parents were about me coming out she'll knock it off#post tag#i will not be shaving the pubestache ahead of seeing her this time love me love my stupid little stache everyone hates
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He loves me, he loves me not.
🦋Relations: Ayato and Alhaitham x F!Reader (separate ofc) ASSUMED Ayato x Sara and Alhaitham x Dehya
🦋Summary: Your lover has been neglecting you a full month; hardly even coming home and always working. You start to overhear about his recent involvement with another girl and you can’t help but wonder, does he still love you?
‼️Warnings: She/her pronouns used (only like 5 times in total, endearments of pretty girl, baby and my love are used, insecurities are mentioned a lot, along with body insecurity (body dysmorphia?), thoughts of cheating, mention of a dick once (don’t think anyone cares cuz it’s daddy Alhaitham, ANGST- should be obvious, THERE IS COMFORT THOUGH! LOTS OF IT! bestie Diluc is mentioned along with Tighnari, jealousy, lots of crying, not proofread, can’t think of anything else
🦋Author Note: Alhaitham’s is a lot longer than Ayato’s I think we can tell who the favourite is. I’ll write Cyno and Tighnari next then link it here!
support me on kofi and read my other fics! all on pinned post !!!! (guys if u love Alhaitham go check out my wattpad I got a new Alhaitham x reader fic 😻)
Ayato
Sometimes, you felt like this marriage was a mistake.
Not felt actually, knew. It was an arranged marriage after all. The two of you had gotten to know each other just before the marriage, and you both did indeed have feelings for each other and even ended up falling in love during the arrangement.
So, in your mind, it was a real marriage. Perhaps to his it was just an arranged one.
You spent your days in bed alone, a cold spot beside you always. Even when you woke up, he was never there.
Your parents weren’t as rich as the Kamisatos or popular, but due to the fact the Kojou clan denied the arrangement since Sara wasn’t ready for marriage. Your clan was second choice.
Maybe you were second choice in his life too.
You never felt good enough for him, barely ever speaking on how he was hardly here because you felt like you were in no position to speak up about it. He worked so hard for his family, and his clan represented so much in Inazuma it was a lot of work. Meanwhile your parents did most the work, but your clan was hardly known. It just proved how much better he was than you.
Even after a year of your….marriage, you still felt the same. During the first few months you were both so close, spending nights giggling as he’d cuddle you while slightly tickling you just to piss you off. You don’t even see him anymore.
You started hearing workers around the estate talk about him and Kojou Sara. She was originally the first choice, and you felt like maybe he was going back to her.
“They’re so much better together!”
“Never really thought him and Y/N’s clan were a good go.”
“She’s not a good choice for Ayato at all. I hope he finally comes to his senses and chooses Sara.”
“I heard they’ve been together a lot this past month, so he must be going back to her!”
She was always the first choice.
When you heard the conversation between the workers, you ran into the hall leading to your room.
“Y/N?” Ayaka realized, worry laced in her tone as you bumped into her, tears streaming down your face.
“Apologies.” You murmured, not even sparing her a look as you continued down the hall to your room, quickly closed the door so she couldn’t come and ask questions.
You walked over to your desk, tears falling onto the hard wood of the desk as you grabbed a paper, finding a pen hurriedly.
When Thoma had taken you to his homeland once, you met a very nice man who you considered had very amazing advice. His name was Diluc, and ever since you visited, you’ve been constantly sending him letters- that being the way the two of you would communicate.
Dear Diluc,
You started writing, hoping he wouldn’t mind the tears that would be dry by the time he received this letter. You wrote all about your marriage troubles- how in the last month Ayato has hardly spoken to you, taking up more hours at work, and spending more time with another woman. You wrote down your suspicions he was probably in love with Sara, seeing as she was originally the first choice.
Part of you didn’t understand why you were so shocked because well, why not her? The workers were right, she was so much better that you in many ways; a better fighter, a harder worker, a better clan- a better everything.
When you read over the letter, you couldn’t help yourself from crying even more, fay tears rolling down your cheeks like an endless waterfall. You pushed the paper to the side, not wanting your tears to mess up the ink and your head fell onto the table as all you did was sob into your arms.
Your sobs turned into quiet whimpers until you felt no more motivation to continue crying, falling asleep right on the table.
~~
When Ayato overheard what was seen of you from Ayaka, he rushed home as constant questions plagued his mind.
This was the first time he had ever left work only- it being almost 7pm, the sun starting to go down. He expected to find you on the bed, perhaps napping or crying into the pillows but no, he saw you with your head down on the table.
He walked up to you slowly, putting his hands on your shoulders and giving you a shake. He heard a slight snore and realized you were asleep, immediately removing his hands.
His eyes caught dried tears on a piece of paper and he picked it up, starting to read over it all.
At the end, he’d taken your old spot as he himself started to cry at the words you’d written; how you felt like a nobody compared to him, how he could do so much better and that he was probably in love with Kojou Sara.
That last part was what shocked him most. No! He was in love with you and only you’ he’ll admit, he has been with her a lot, but it was strictly for work! It’s been crazy with the end of the vision hunt degree, leaving the two clans in charge after Sara’s father was removed.
He read it over again, seeing how you wrote constantly “second choice” all over again.
In reality, the Kojou clan was originally his parents choice and was forced to ask them first. He always wanted to ask you first, because he had met you before and found you as the most gorgeous and outgoing girl he’s ever seen.
He looked back at you, one of his tears falling atop your head. Why didn’t you tell him any of this?! He would’ve loved to resssure you that you were the love of his life, the girl he’d always dreamed of. Sure, he hasn’t been here for a while- oh.
He dragged his hand down his face, realizing why you didn’t say anything; because he was never here.
“I’m so sorry, my love.” he whispered, wrapping one of his arms behind your back and on under your legs as he picked you up, taking you towards the bed and placing you down gently.
You started to stir awake when you felt his arms wrap around you. “‘Yato?” You called, barely above a whisper.
He shushed you, placing a kiss to where your shoulder met your neck as he snuggled closer to you. “I’m here now, my love. I promise I’ll always be here. Now go sleep, I’ll be here when you wake up. I’ll be here forever and always. I love you so much, more than words can say.”
It was gonna be a long talk once the two of you woke up, but either way, you felt a lot warmer that night.
Alhaitham
You and Alhaitham weren’t engaged or married, only being together for a year and a half now.
So probably understandable why he was probably losing feelings for you? Right? Right?
“Hey, Kaveh.” You said, sitting in the kitchen of your shared home with Kaveh and Alhaitham.
“You look drained, Y/N. Are you okay?”
“Yeah.”
That was a lie and a big fat one at that. You weren’t okay whatsoever.
Recently, in the last month, Alhaitham had barely come back home and you’ve hardly gotten the chance to see him. There was no more good morning or good night kisses, little dates in between work or work visits. There was none of that.
Now it was just waking up to a cold, empty spot in your bed.
Kaveh could read you like an open book. He’s noticed the lack of affection and attention you’ve gotten from Alhaitham, and despite the fact he despised the man, he also cared for him and his significant other and noticed everything.
He just hoped his and yours suspicions wouldn’t come true; that he had fallen out of love and was possibly cheating.
The latter was what scared him the most with how recently Alhaitham has been with Dehya. He came back after a week of being away to the Grand Azar being removed along with half the workers in the Akademiya, to Alhaitham and Dehya now best friends. The fuck happens when he isn’t here?!
He’s seen how close the two are during his times being in the Akademiya and he prayed to Kusanali that the worst wasn’t going to happen.
You knew about Dehya; you’ve heard about it all over Sumeru. How she was a perfect fighter, a desert bloom, perfect both and image for all eremites.
You were jealous, and a tad bit insecure. She was perfect in so many ways; popular, appreciated, constantly complimented. Her body was perfect along with her hair and voice.
Your hair had uneven ends and you didn’t consider your body to be perfect.
No wonder Alhaitham would go for someone like her.
“Why don’t you go see Alhaitham?” Kaveh asked before he quickly got a large brown paper bag that was somehow filled with lunch and came out of nowhere. “Bring him lunch!”
It was his one attempt at getting you guys back to how you used to be.
You hoped it would work as Kaveh walked you to the Akademiya, and the whole time you were scared as your heart would drop with each step.
“Tell me where you find him, I need to talk to him about some work.” Kaveh said before leaving to talk to a scholar once the two of you arrived at the Akademiya.
You checked the library and there was no sign of him, even going to the outdoor areas since you knew how much he liked reading outdoors. You eventually asked a scholar who had pointed you in direction of his office and you felt your heart drop again.
You opened the doors slightly, hoping your lover would be happy to see you.
But what you came in to see was a Dehya standing right beside him as he wrote on a piece of paper, sitting on a chair at his office desk.
You felt your heart break a little when he didn’t even notice you walked in.
He only noticed when he heard the click of the door close behind you, the both of them looking up to see you with confusion on their faces.
The way Dehya stood so close to him with her toned and perfect body made your breath quicken in panic.
“Y/N?” Alhaitham spoke in confusion, halting his movement of writing on the paper. “What are you doing here?”
“I came to bring you lunch.” You spoke so quietly that it was almost a whisper that the two couldn’t hear.
“Oh.” He blinked as you put the bag on his desk, a fake smile plastered on your face that even though he was your lover, he couldn’t tell how forced it was. “Thank you.”
That was all he said before he looked back at Dehya, continuing to talk about eremites in the desert.
You felt your heart break into a million pieces and you slowly turned to leave. They broke into a million more when he didn’t even say goodbye or notice your departure.
You closed the door quietly and ran once it closed, tears streaming down your tears as you rushed to get out of the Akademiya.
Although, in the library, you heard a mention of his name and had to stop just to listen.
“Have you seen the Scribe and Dehya lately? I heard they’re together.”
“Really? What about Y/N? Did they break up?”
“Probably. Alhaitham is far better off with Dehya either way, not Y/N.”
You felt more tears stream down your face, not bringing yourself to move as you kept listening to the disgusting things they said about you.
The only thing that brought you out of it was a hand on your shoulder and you looked up to see Kaveh staring at you, concern all over his face as his hand moved up from your shoulder to wipe your tears.
You let out a loud sniff, shoving his hand away before speaking. “He’s in his office, if you’re still looking for him.”
Before he could speak, you ran off, leaving the library and soon leaving the Akademiya.
Kaveh glared at Alhaitham’s office doors. Sure, he lost most of his arguments to Alhaitham, but this one he was gonna win as he marched his way into the office, forcing Dehya out before he started yelling at the grey-haired man.
~~
You couldn’t stay in Sumeru anymore. That was it.
You had been completely humiliated in front of Dehya, Kaveh and now the entire Akademiya knows that Dehya is so much better off for Alhaitham.
Maybe being a forest ranger wasn’t too bad. It would mean hardly being in the main city and you wouldn’t have to see Alhaitham.
You were actually thinking about it as you started writing a letter addressed to Tighnari at the edge of your bed, but halfway through when you realized what you were doing and why, you started violently sobbing as you fell to your knees, the letter scrunched up on the ground beside you as you sobbed into the softness of the edge of the bed.
You didn’t even hear the door open.
When Kaveh came in screaming at Alhaitham, it certainly shocked him and Dehya. He had even gone as far to yell at Dehya to get out of the office and she did, running out.
He went on and on about how you were and with each word, Alhaitham’s heart started to break.
He hadn’t even realized how much he’d been neglecting you until Kaveh had to voice it out for you. He’s been so busy with work and choosing a new grand sage that he’s practically been ignoring you and treating you like a stranger.
When Kaveh said the sentence “at this point, Y/N would be a lot better with me since you can’t be a good boyfriend!” Alhaitham stormed out of the office, making his way straight home with no stops.
You were his and his only and fuck no were you ever going to be Kaveh’s. He loved you, WAY more than Kaveh ever will.
But it seemed like Kaveh loved you more than he did in the last month and he hated every part of himself for it.
When he got home, he heard your violent sobs and started rushing to your shared room, his heart breaking once more at the sight of you.
He went down on his knees and wrapping his arms around you, pulling your back to his chest with his arms wrapped around your waist as you shook with sobs in his arms.
“Haitham?”
“I’m so sorry.” He spoke, his head resting against your shoulder as his own tears came out. “I’m so fucking sorry. You didn’t deserve what I did to you this past month, and I understand if you’re mad and want to leave me. Words can’t express how sorry I am, but I promise I will take the next few weeks off. Even if they tell me no, I’ll go against them and stay with you. My sweet, pretty girl, I love you- so so so much and a LOT more than Kaveh. You’re perfect, so so so perfect for me. Perfect face, eyes, mouth-“
He paused to press kisses all over your cheek, making you giggle through your cries and bringing a smile to your face. “My lips love you. My hands love you. I’ll go as far to say my dick loves you. Everything about me loves you. You’re perfect for me- everything about you is perfect for me. Screw anyone else, I just want you baby.”
The next hour went by with him saying constant reassurances while kissing you all over. He had even ripped apart the letter you wrote for Tighnari, saying you’ll never leave his side and certainly won’t work for another man where he can’t even see you.
He held you close that night, making sure you were warm after all the cold nights.
#genshin impact x reader#genshin impact#genshin fic#genshin impact thoma#genshin impact ayato#kamisato ayato x reader#kamisato ayato#genshin ayato#ayato x reader#ayato x you#alhaitham x you#alhaitham x reader#alhaitham x y/n#alhaitham genshin#genshin alhaitham#dehya genshin#genshin impact sara#genshin impact kaveh#in kaveh we believe#Genshin angst#genshin hurt/comfort#genshin x y/n#genshin x you
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Dragon Age: Vows and Vengeance (Ep. 6)
Official episode transcript here
My notes while I was listening under the cut… Spoilers ahead!
For anyone with emetophobia or gets grossed out by vomit, skip from 00:43 to 00:46 if you haven't already listened to the episode
"I don't mean to be a wet cloth" oh Drayden I love the self awareness (affectionate)
I'm not over how confident Taash is in combat 🥰 I also get the feeling it's going to be a bit of a whiplash because there's an established friendship with Nadia so Taash's behaviour with Rook could be something else entirely
Woooah I did not anticipate Antivan Drayden?!
Borgiani Borgiani… I knew I remembered the surname from a leak a while ago, because “Borgia” is a pretty significant family during the italian renaissance and so I was sure they’d be in Antiva given the similarity… Here’s felassan’s post about it, the other names listed are all characters from the podcast but I didn’t make the connection until now lol
I love that Lucanis could have let him choke on the poison and instead chose to stab…
Yet another “earthquake” mention 🎉
OOOH is the teleport because the fade is being weird? Orrr does Lucanis already start manifesting. powers? Nah it’s probably the first one idk
Marethari!! And implicit Feynriel mention!!! Da2 fans we win today
Besties I think demons have already been attracted to Elio a while ago
I was certain for a moment that Drayden’s birth name was mentioned already, but turns out I was thinking of Aristide Am-ell, not Am-ato. Aristide Amell was Hawke’s grandpa (Leandra and Gamlen’s father)!
Drayden’s VA did amazing on those wails 😭
Ah the poetic narrative of the very family who let their kid be ostracized because they were connected to the Fade, stepping up to investigate possible “dark magics” that affected the community and being killed for it…
“Hopefully safe but probably not” is enough for me. I’ll be keeping an ear out for any Amato family members while we’re in Antiva in DATV lol
Okay they described Lucanis so much like “socially awkward dumpster fire disaster” that I was blindsided here. This man is being smooth here hellooo
My heart wants Ophelia to be a gigantic creature but my brain is telling me it’s probably a guard dog
Captain is being mad sus btw 🧐
“There is no ghost, it's a man!” Lmao nice words considering what we know of Lucanis “The Demon of Vyrantium” so far
Today I learned: “garrote” is not only the sitting execution method, but also a portable wire-like weapon. Which makes much more sense in the context of “we have people to get rid of as quietly as possible”
Achievement unlocked: Nadia and Drayden have successfully trauma-bonded for the foreseeable future!
Gkfbjsvj I was iffy about Eliza insisting that Drayden’s parents didn’t actually hate them and they did love them and just didn’t know how to express it or whatever. But I guess… I want to believe people want to change and amend for their mistakes 🥺 If their father knew of their new chosen name (because he told Lucanis before dying), I’m assuming he did research / tried to find Drayden and successfully tracked them down but didn’t make himself known to pressure them into coming back, which makes his supposed regret more believable to me (unlike for example Dorian’s father in The Last Resort of Good Men). Idk maybe I’m overthinking it
BIG DOG. This is how a mabari in The Veilguard can still happen–
They got Drayden an actual whole war hound after they got attacked? 🥺
(takes out my whiteboard labeled “men and women are equal in Thedas” to write down: “Episodes since a character was misogynistic: 0”)
The episode title lied to us?! I was waiting for when the captain attempted to stab Lillemar only for her to pull a Frodo Baggins with his mithril shirt and instead DRAYDEN GETS STABBED?
What if… Drayden dies but due to their connection to the Fade, Emmrich binds their spirit in the next episode… 👁️👁️
#dragon age#dragon age vows and vengeance#da:v&v#vows and vengeance#vows and vengeance: the bride wears armor#dragon age spoilers#taash#taash the dragon hunter#taash dragon age#nadia carcosa#lucanis dellamorte#drayden kiel#i will not be changing adding a tag to their deadname btw#lord amato#lady amato#eliza chamberlain#lillemar borgiani#lord borgiani#alessio borgiani#ophelia the mabari#my posts
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we always find a way (to make it out alive) | m.s.s.
Summary: beacon hills holds a lot of bad memories for you. you're still not sure how you let yourself be persuaded to go back.
pairing: Stiles Stilinski x werewolf!reader
warning: reader's parents die, mention of guns
word count: 8,8k (don't even ask, I don't know how it happened)
author's note: hello. i don't want to talk about this, i somehow vomited 8k worth of words about stiles. leave a like/reblog bestie. also, don't forget to come into my inbox to yell at me. thank you to charlotte @stilinskiderek for witnessing my teen wolf obsession rebirth and for listening to my occasional rant.
“We’re going to need to leave in five minutes if you don’t want to be late.”
Theo was standing in the threshold of your room, leaning against the doorframe, his arms crossed. You merely glanced over at him, not even moving an inch. Your feet were resting comfortably on top of your desk as the book you were reading was in your lap.
“I was waiting for you. Wasn’t me who was standing in front of the mirror fixing my hair for like the tenth time. I’ve never seen you this nervous,” you commented dryly, swinging your legs off the desk and standing up.
“I’m not nervous,” Theo said defensively, ducking his head when you reached out to mess up his hair. “I’m just… Tense. It’s weird to be back here.”
“Oh, please. Don’t lie to me. I know you’re nervous and I know why, even though I don’t understand it. It’s just Scott and Stiles.”
“Really.”
You ignored Theo’s pointed look in your direction and turned to put your book in your backpack instead. While Theo was ecstatic to be back in your old stomping grounds, it took him and your brother a while to persuade you to return with them. Your life in Salvador was exactly what you had been building up to, why would you leave it to go back to Beacon Hills? The only thing that you remembered from here was the death of your parents and getting your heart broken in fourth grade. It was safe to say that you weren’t eager to return.
“Aren’t you super nervous to finally see the love of your life again?” Theo teased in a high pitched voice, as predictable as he was, and you only shouldered past him roughly, walking out into the hallway with your backpack in hand. Theo was quick to follow, pestering you for an answer.
“I don’t know who you’re talking about,” you said lightly.
“Oh come on!”
Theo snickered and you knew this was far from being over. You contemplated shoving him down the stairs but it would only be a temporary fix, he’d barely feel it, so you didn’t want to waste your energy on that.
“Brunet guy, moles all over, kind of heavy on the ADHD…”
You only threw a look at Theo over your shoulder, narrowing your eyes at him, daring him to say another word. You had a crush on a guy one time and of course Theo would hold it over your head for the rest of the time. Theo kept nagging you until you reached the front door, where Justin was checking his bag.
“You guys ready? I could give you a lift to school on my way to work,” Justin said, fixing the collar of his jacket.
“When’s my car getting here?” You asked with pursed lips. “I feel like I’m 12 getting dropped off at school by you again.”
“I mean, you could’ve driven yourself if you hadn’t insisted on bringing your own car back to Beacon Hills.”
“Well, it’s called loyalty, Theodore, maybe you could learn a thing or two from me.”
Your voice was biting as you said it, Theo only raised his hands in defense, a knowing smirk on his face and a grin grew on Justin’s face. You sighed internally, cursing yourself for your short temper. Let the teasing begin.
“Oh no, you mentioned the Valentine’s Day of ‘07, didn’t you, T?”
It was the beginning of February when you had started to get the idea of getting Stiles a gift for Valentine’s. He had always been kind to you and always tried to include you when he hung out with Theo and Scott. It wasn’t hard to develop a crush on him, to be honest. He was cute and nice. You were ten, the bar wasn’t that high. You started with leaving Reese’s Pieces with small notes in the pockets of his coat or in his lunch box when he wasn’t looking. Your mother had helped you with most of the notes, since you wanted them to rhyme without sounding too cheesy. The last note, which you had placed on his desk before he arrived to first period, contained a small rhyme about how the color of his eyes reminded you of honey, and to meet you for a Valentine’s picknick at the park later that day. When Stiles stumbled up to his desk a couple of minutes later, he scanned his eyes over the note, unwrapping the honeycomb bar you had left along with the note, taking a huge bite out of it.
“Are you excited to finally meet your secret admirer?” Scott had asked and Stiles grinned toothily at him, almost losing the content of his mouth.
“Yeah! But I’m pretty sure I know who it is.”
Stiles glanced over to you with a huge grin, jerking his chin in your direction and you flushed slightly, waving timidly back at him. You ignored Theo when he slid into his chair next to you, though you could see out of the corner of your eyes that he was hiding a smirk.
“Shut up Theo,” you muttered under your breath, kicking him in the shins under the table. Theo only yelped, glaring at you.
“I didn’t even say anything!”
“You didn’t have to, I saw it on your face!”
Before Theo could retort, Ms. Davis came into the classroom, starting the first lesson of the day. You turned to the front, your eyes glancing over at Stiles multiple times, watching him as he semi-focused on the lesson, playing with your note in his hand. Around noon, you and Theo raced to the pick-up zone where your mother’s minivan was standing, tumbling into the backseats.
“Hey superstar, hey Theo,” your mother greeted you, leaning over to look back at you as you buckled up. “How was school?”
“Great! I gave Stiles the last note, he was so excited!”
“She blushed!”
“You did?” your mother laughed, winking at Theo. “Well, then I guess the plan’s in its end-phase.”
You discreetly elbowed Theo in the gut, then talking loudly to cover his grunt. “Yep, definitely is! Did you pick up the peanut butter cupcakes from the grocery store?”
“’course I did.”
After your mother dropped of Theo at home, the two of you went home to pack the basket for the picknick. During this time, your heart was almost hammering out of your ribcage and you felt so excited and at the same time you felt like you were about to throw up. When you had the basket all packed up, you made your way over the park with your mom. While you walked over the grass to spread the blanket on the ground, your mother sat down on a bench a couple of feet away. Close enough to be there in a second if something happened, but far enough for you to get the sense like you were there by yourself. It was only a couple of minutes past three pm when you had set everything up.
“Maybe Stiles is just a little late,” you mumbled to yourself, smoothing down your pants, looking around. The park was not as busy as it usually was, some couples walking around, a lone man with his dog, and a handful of kids on the playground. But no Stiles in sight.
After ten minutes, you were growing antsy, telling yourself that Stiles was on his way. After about forty-five minutes, your mother knelt down on the blanket next to you, placing a warm hand on your shoulder.
“You okay superstar?”
With a shrug, you plucked at the three-leaf clover you had picked up. “… He’s not coming, is he?”
“I don’t think so, honey. I’m sorry.”
You swallowed quickly, giving your mother a somewhat believable smile. “I’m fine. Let’s just go home.”
“Nah, come on, let’s grab some ice cream on the way home,” your mother said with an encouraging smile. “My treat.”
Together, you packed up all the things and made your way to the ice cream parlor that was just outside the park. Your mother was telling you a story about how her and your dad had spent their first Valentine’s Day, but she suddenly slowed down, glancing inside the parlor. You paused following her gaze, freezing when you looked through the window, your foot stuck mid-air.
Stiles was sitting inside with Lydia, talking animatedly, his ice cream almost falling out of its cone as Lydia only listened half-heartedly, drumming her nails on the table. Despite your assurance to your mum that you were fine, tears sprang into your eyes and you turned on your heel, running the sidewalk back home, your mother calling after you.
You rarely thought back to that day, if you were honest. Most people (read, Justin and Theo) thought it was because of Stiles, and in some ways, it was. You’ve never been humiliated like that before. But really, it was just too painful. That Valentine’s Days was one of the last times you had spent with your mother.
It was only a few days later when your whole world was turned upside down when you were brought out of class by your brother, who had bloodshot eyes, muttering about how your parents were gone. Merely in the wrong place at the wrong time, they were standing in the middle of the grocery store when a robber came in with a gun. Your mother caught a stray bullet to the chest and in a panic, the robber had shot your father as well when he had cried out in shock.
There was a high possibility that you associated Stiles with the death of your parents and in another universe, you might have gotten over that rejection and stayed friends with Stiles; you didn’t even know if he had seen you that day, but alas. You had isolated yourself from most kids in your class except for Theo, and only a few months later, Justin turned 21 and the two of you left Beacon Hills.
Only to return, 7 years later, for whatever reason.
With some disdain, you stared at Beacon Hills High when your brother stopped in front, with the engine still running. Theo was already getting out of the car in the backseat, but you remained frozen in your seat.
“You know you’re going to have to get out at some point, right?”
You puffed out a breath, glancing over at Justin, who looked at you with a mixture of amusement and worry.
“Do I have to?”
Justin paused. “You don’t have to, but you want to go to college, right? Your senior year of high school is kind of crucial for that.”
Right, that.
Pulling a face, you opened the door with a sigh, getting out of the car. Even after you closed the passenger door, Justin didn’t drive off, watching you.
“Don’t forget we have that meeting with the alpha later, don’t be late.”
“Yeah yeah, don’t worry about it,” you said off-handedly and Justin nodded slowly.
“Hey, you know you’re gonna rock it, right sup-”
“Don’t.”
You cut Justin off with a sharp snap and he leaned back in his seat, giving you a glum look.
“I’ll see you later.”
With that, Justin pulled away from the side-walk and you turned to walk inside the building, Theo was just waiting by the entrance. He was raising his eyebrows at you in question, but you only shook your head, walking to the principal’s office. After getting your transfer papers sorted and getting your class schedule, you and Theo walked to the lockers, stacks of books in hand.
“I have science now, but we’ll see each other in Calculus and for lunch,” Theo said as he looked at his class schedule. You on the other hand were trying to put your books into the locker somewhat organized.
“You know you can just throw them in, right?”
“I’m not a heathen, Theo.”
Theo only rolled his eyes good-naturedly, only wincing a bit when the bell rang.
“Alright, I gotta go. Try to make some friends, yeah?”
You only gave him a look, Theo saluted to you before he turned on his heels to walk to his classroom. With a sigh, you gave up on neatly stacking your books and tossed the rest of them in the locker, only grabbing the book for econ and headed to the second floor, where your first class was going to be. You weaved your way through the crowd, already being accustomed to block out loud, unnecessary noise to keep yourself sane. Overstimulation was no joke. Luckily, your classroom was the first to your right when you reached the second floor and you took the desk in the last row. As the rest of the class filed in, you flipped your book open, not paying any attention to the class until the teacher, Coach Finstock, apparently, took to the front. He was waiting for the class to settle down as the classroom door opened yet again. You turned back to your back, tuning out the conversation, the smell of peanut butter and honey suddenly filling your nostrils. Scrunching your nose, you leaned back in your seat when someone dropped in to the empty chair in front of you somewhat clumsily. He stretched his arms, rather obnoxiously, if you might add and it was obvious that the smell of peanut butter and honey that was wafting over to your nose came from him. Unable to sit still, he bounced his leg and you narrowed your eyes at his back, like his restlessness was contagious. He drummed his fingertips on the desk and he just kept fidgeting! Almost like-
“Stiles.”
“Huh?”
Stiles whirled around to look at you because apparently you had said his name out loud. He looked at you with furrowed eyes, before recognition dawned on his face. He opened his mouth, surely to say something along the lines of Oh my god, how long has it been? but Coach interrupted him, knocking on his desk.
“Stilinski, what’s the definition of supply and demand?”
With one last glance over his shoulder, Stiles turned back to the front to face Coach, who was uncomfortably close to his face. Have the teachers always been this weird?
“Supply and demand? Well…”
When the bell rang to signal the end of first period, you were one of the firsts out of the classroom, though you could hear Stiles grapple himself to his feet to follow you. Even through all the noise of a high school, you could hear Stiles’ voice clear as day, calling after you. You ignored, well, you tried to ignore him, but his voice was ringing in your ears like he was right next to you. This has never happened before. Wincing, you quickened your pace and turned the corner, hoping more distance between you would lessen the volume of his voice in your ears, when you ran straight into someone.
Fuck.
“Shit, sorry, I-” you looked up, trying to clear your head to form a fucking clear sentence when you looked into the concerned face of Scott McCall, because of course that was just your luck. Scott raised an eyebrow at you in question, his eyes flashing red for a split-second, making you flash your golden eyes back at him involuntarily.
“You’ve got to be kidding me. You’re the alpha?”
Scott uttered your name, his voice small, and you knew you were being unfair. He never did anything to you, but if he was the alpha, it meant Stiles was definitely involved in his pack somehow.
“You’re one of the betas Derek was talking about?”
You waved a hand at him, annoyed. “Cora was part of my pack when she was in Salvador, or well… Before she came to Beacon Hills and then came back with her brother in tow.” And then you left with your brother and Theo to come to Beacon Hills. It was like a fucking exchange program.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be rude," you said, feeling guilty for snapping at Scott. "It's just... complicated."
Scott gave you a sympathetic nod and you wondered if he knew about what had happened with Stiles, but before you could say something stupid like ask if he knew why Stiles had gone to grab ice cream with Lydia instead of meeting you on that Valentine’s Day, Stiles appeared at his side, looking slightly out of breath. You avoided his gaze, though you kept your chin high.
"Hey," Stiles said, a small smile on his face. The way he said your name made butterflies flutter in your stomach.
Really? Still?
“It’s been a while.”
You forced a smile back, trying to keep your voice even. "Yeah, it has."
Scott and Stiles exchanged a glance, sensing the tension between you. "Well, we should probably get to class," Scott said, breaking the awkward silence. "See you around.”
“Wha-- hey, I wanted to catch up with her-” Stiles protested as Scott grabbed him by the arm to drag him along. You could hear Scott whisper distinctly under his breath before Stiles exclaimed a loud: “What?!”
You could only imagine that Scott had told him what he had just found out and with a deep sigh, you straightened your shoulders. Onwards and upwards, right? Before you headed to your next class, you stopped by your locker on the way to grab the books you needed, trying to get your head straight with the class material. Surprisingly, it wasn’t even that hard to keep up. You were worried that transferring in the middle of the school year would set you back a couple of weeks if not months, but somehow you were ahead of the class material, as your school in Salvador kept a much tighter and quicker schedule. By the time lunch period rolled around, you were far more relaxed than at the beginning of the school day, considering you had overcome your biggest fears.
Following the rest of the class, you let them guide you to the cafeteria. After grabbing a sandwich and some water at the counter, you followed Theo’s scent through the cafeteria, but you stopped in your tracks when you saw Theo sitting with - you guessed it - Scott and Stiles. There were a handful of people sitting at their table, you weren’t familiar with most of them, though the head of strawberry-blonde hair stuck out to you. Theo leaned over the side, lifting his hand for a wave and you only gave him a look, before turning on your heel, away from them. You could hear Theo’s chair scraping against the linoleum floor as he pushed it back.
“Hey, what’s her problem?” Stiles asked and Theo only sighed in exasperation.
“Come on buddy, seriously? Keep up.”
By the time Theo caught up with you, you were sitting outside at an unoccupied table, picking at your sandwich.
“Seriously? Next time slam the cafeteria doors when you exit, it’ll be even more dramatic,” Theo huffed as he dropped on the bench across from you. You barely acknowledged him as you opened your water bottle.
“Just trying to have my lunch in peace.”
Theo pinched the bridge of his nose. “Hey, I know you hate Stiles-”
“I don’t hate Stiles,” you interjected, heated. “I just don’t really want to spend all of my free time around him and Scott. What’s wrong with that?”
Finally, you lifted your head to look at him but Theo only narrowed his eyes at you.
“… You know Scott is the alpha right?”
You rolled your eyes.
“Yeah, I found out this morning. I bet you’re fucking ecstatic.”
“I mean, it helps that the alpha is someone we know and used to be friends with. It’ll be much easier to fit into his pack. But you really need to work on your people skills.”
“Me?” you bristled, but when Theo raised an eyebrow, you puffed out a defeated breath. “Fine. I’ll play nice. But I am not going to be part of their clique.”
“… That’s kind of exactly what you’re going to have to do.”
“Jesus, Theo you’re so annoying,” you moaned, standing up to leave the table. You threw your sandwich wrapper and the empty water bottle in the trash, reluctantly waiting for Theo as your next class was with him anyway. He shouldered his backpack, wrapping an arm around your shoulder.
“Cheer up. I think this is going to be great.”
You gave a grunt of dissent. Luckily, the rest of the school day went by mostly uneventful and by 4 pm, you were walking out of the school building towards Justin’s car that was standing by the curbside.
“Hey, how was your first day?” Justin asked as soon as you got in the car, Theo climbing in the back.
“Pretty sure she is contemplating whether she should become an omega,” Theo quipped, unhelpfully as usual and Justin only looked at you quizzically.
“Scott McCall is the alpha.”
“The floppy haired one? Who has asthma?”
“Had, I guess. And yeah, the very same.”
Justin nodded slowly and it was clear that he had more to say, but he chose not to. He gave you a side eye, knowing the implications but your glare shut him up.
“So, how was your first day at your new law firm?”
Thankful for the topic change, you settled back into your seat as Justin launched into the recap of his day as he drove the three of you home. When you finally got home, you didn’t waste a second to get out of the car.
“We’re gonna leave in an hour or so,” Justin called after you when you were already halfway into the house.
“Yeah yeah,” you said absentmindedly, not even raising your voice. You knew he could hear you. “Just get me when it’s time.” You shut your door behind, wanting some privacy before you had to go show your face again. With a deep sigh, you fell headfirst into your bed, hoping you’d smother yourself. However, you couldn’t even do that in peace, when your phone suddenly vibrated. Rolling on your back, you slipped your phone out of your pocket, to see a new text from an unknown number.
[unknown]: hey, scott decided to hold the meeting at his house, instead of the vet practice, since it’s you
You frowned at the screen when the phone vibrated again with the arrival of the another text.
[unknown]: its stiles btw :))
Irritated, you tossed the phone on the pillow. How did he even get your number? And why was he the one telling you about the change of location, instead of Scott? You really contemplated leaving Stiles on read, but you remembered what Theo had said to you earlier. So you picked up your phone and texted him back.
[me]: Okay, thanks for letting me know
Stiles’ answer was almost immediate.
[unknown]: no prob!!
Your finger was hovering in the air and the question as to how Stiles got your number in the first place grated you.
[me]: How did you get my number anyway?
The ellipsis showed up, meaning Stiles was typing, before they disappeared again. You frowned, staring at the text chain before Stiles finally replied.
[unknown]: got it from cora. hope thats okay.
You groaned bumping your fist against your forehead, because of course it was fucking Cora putting her nose in your business all the way from Salvador. You swiped out of the text chain, opening the one with Cora.
[me]: why tf did you just give stiles my number without warning me first??
[cora]: i thought it’d be funny and i was right
[cora]: give him a kiss from me
[me]: I hate you
[cora]: no u don’t
You glared at your phone and exited the text chain, your phone almost slipping out of your hand when it vibrated again.
[unknown]: i just asked her bc i thought it’d be the most convenient way of contacting you. i wasnt stalking, i promise
[me]: Sure you weren’t.
[unknown]: i couldve asked one of my dads deputies to find out your address and shown up on your door instead
[me]: That’s abuse of power and I’m pretty sure your dad wouldn’t approve.
[me]: But I guess this is better
[unknown]: seeeee
You couldn’t help yourself to smile at the almost easy conversation you had with Stiles, and suddenly you remembered why you had liked him so much. But this was not you liking him again, this was just you trying to brush up on your people skills, like Theo had suggested. You were brought back to reality when your phone vibrated again.
[unknown]: i dont wanna keep you any longer, ill see you later :))
Exhaling, you dropped your phone on your stomach, feeling like you didn’t really have to reply to him. If exchanging only a few messages would have you grinning like an idiot already, how would fare with being a fucking pack with Stiles? God this was going to be so much harder than you thought.
“-ery full moon, just to be together. You don’t have to join us, but I think it would be nice.”
You had tuned out most of the conversation ever since you walked into Scott’s house, figuring Justin and Theo would just tell you the most important information you had missed. Scott’s pack was…. Unconventional, to put it lightly. The first thing you noticed is that the whole pack seems to consist of teenagers. Justin would be the oldest one by almost pushing 30. The second thing is that, somehow, most of the pack weren’t even werewolves, actually, there were only really 2, Scott and Isaac. Kira was a Kitsune, Lydia a banshee and Malia, Derek and Cora’s cousin apparently, was a werecoyote. Allison and Stiles were plain humans, even though Allison labelled herself as a hunter, which really raised the hairs on the nape of your neck, though you deemed her alright. For now.
“Have you guys always been weres?” Isaac asked, his arms crossed as he sat on the arm chair, legs thrown over the arm rests. “I remember you from middle school.”
“No. We got the bite in Salvador. Mariana kind of took us under the wing when we first got there and somewhere along the way, she offered us the bite and we accepted,” Theo said, shrugging his shoulders a bit. Stiles narrowed his eyes at him.
“And your parents?”
Theo leaned back on the couch, his facial expression not moving a bit but you could tell that Stiles managed to get under his skin with basically the only thing Theo considered his weakness. You figured that the other weres might pick up on his comfort, but it was subtle. Theo was pretty good at masking his emotions.
“We’re not really in contact anymore. They took my sister’s death pretty hard.”
The fact that they barely acknowledged that they had another child went unsaid.
“Justin’s my legal guardian. From both of us, I guess,” Theo added, with a quick glance at you. That lead to the everyone else look at you too and you growled under your breath at the unwanted attention.
“I don’t really have anything to add.”
Theo kicked your foot making you growl, and you flashed your eyes at him, as he merely flashed his blue eyes back at you.
“O-kay!” Stiles suddenly yelped, jumping up with hand clap. “How about we get some food now? Time for food, we got a bunch of wolves here, I’m sure you’re starving. I could definitely eat. Scotty?”
“Uh sure, yeah. That’s a good idea actually. Do you guys want to stay for dinner?” Scott asked, an eyebrow raised.
Justin lifted his head, dropping them again. “Sure. It’d be nice to get to know the pack a little better, right?” He looked at you pointedly and you suppressed a grunt.
“Right.”
“We could order pizza, what about Gino’s?” Isaac suggested and Kira shook her head.
“They don’t deliver.”
“It’s fine, Lydia and I can go pick it up,” Allison said, standing up and pulling Lydia with her. She had been looking at you for a while and you gave her a somewhat tight smile. Scott gently touched Allison’s elbow, smiling at her.
“Thanks guys. I’ll go check for drinks and paper plates.”
“I’ll help!”
You coughed kiss-ass into your hand and Theo only glared at you over his shoulder as he followed Scott into the kitchen. Justin stood with a sigh, giving you a rather heavy look as he walked over to Kira, starting up a conversation with her. You suppressed the want to flee the house and seek comfort somewhere, when a scuffle between Malia and Stiles caught your attention. She was rather persistent, trying to push a hoodie into his hands which he vehemently tried to give back.
“-Iles, I don’t want it anymore.” Malia said, annoyed. “Just take it, your stench is taking over my room.”
“You guys are together?” It just slipped out, more than anything, and you fought the blush that was threatening to appear on your cheeks. Malia looked at you for a split second and you feared she’d call you out, before she merely shook her head.
“Not anymore,” Malia replied and you raised a surprised eyebrow at Stiles.
“So you got over your crush on Lydia, huh?”
“How long have you had a crush on Lydia?” Malia grunted and Stiles flushed, but before he could answer, you butted in.
“Pretty sure that’s like 7 years in the making, right?”
“It’s not ongoing,” Stiles insisted. “Lydia and I are friends.”
The embarrassment was rolling off of him in waves you could basically taste it so you figured you’d let him off the hook, even if you didn’t truly believed him. Turning away, you effectively clinked yourself out of the conversation ignoring how Malia was growling at Stiles before she disappeared. You were checking your phone, acting mostly disinterested but you could hear Stiles’ heart beating a mile a minute before he awkwardly sat down next to you.
“So, you know Cora and Derek, huh?”
Glancing up from your phone, Stiles was eyeing you, his face neutral but his eyes twinkling.
“Cora more than Derek. She’s pretty much my best friend apart from Theo that shithead.”
I heard that!
Ignoring Theo from somewhere in the house, you settled back against the couch, dropping your phone on the couch. Stiles perked up as you seemed you divert your whole attention to him.
“I miss Cora. I’m pretty sure she missed me too. Did she say anything about me?” Stiles asked and you gave him a look.
“She said you’re annoying.”
Stiles jutted his lower lip out, a frown creasing his forehead. Was he pouting?
“… She said it fondly,” you added slowly and Stiles brightened up again, straightening his shoulders. It was odd but even though you were the werewolf out of the two of you, he seemed to be acting more like a puppy.
“I knew it!” Stiles crowed. “The Hales seem to think they have an impenetrable wall of grumpiness but I’ve managed to worm my way into all of their heart nevertheless.”
Somehow, you couldn’t really imagine Stiles and Derek getting along.
“Even their psycho uncle Peter?”
Stiles winced at the question. “No, we don’t talk about Peter. I just ignore him most of the time and pretend he’s still dead.”
Right, that happened. You really hoped that the craziness around here has died down or else you’d have to seriously talk to Justin about staying in Beacon Hills.
Pleased, Stiles settled back against the corner of the couch.
An odd scent started wafting over to you from Stiles. It was something you weren’t quite familiar with. It wasn’t completely new but not exactly a common scent either, so it took you some thinking to recognize it, of course it didn’t help that Stiles was talking like his life depended on it.
“- and then he just left for London? I mean, how crazy is that? Werewolf in London, cuz that’s totally gonna work out.”
Stiles snorted and you blinked at him, having missed 90% of what he just talked about.
“I mean, don’t get me wrong, I kind of enjoy not having Jackson-” Jackson! “- around anymore, believe it or not but he’s gotten 200 times more insufferable ever since he got the bite. But what the hell is a werewolf doing in London without an alpha or a pack?”
You still had no freaking clue what the scent was and you were that close from breaking down. Luckily, you were interrupted before you could grab Stiles to shake him and ask him what he was feeling.
“Pizza is here!” Scott called and you heard tell tale sign of a car coming down the block as Scott opened the door to help Allison and Lydia carry the pizzas in. You moved to stand up but Stiles laid a hand on your shoulder, gently stopping you.
“I got it. Artichokes and extra cheese, right?”
Dumbly, you nodded, sitting back on the couch as Stiles got up, as everyone started swarming around the pizzas. As everyone started dispersing again, Stiles returned with two pizza boxes, handing one to you before he opened his own - classic pepperoni. When you opened your box, it was indeed a pizza topped with artichoke and extra cheese. You hadn’t even bothered to tell anyone what you wanted, you were fine with eating whatever pizza they brought back, but how did Stiles remember your pizza order? Theo could have ordered the pizza for you but Stiles never exchanged a word with Theo after Allison and Lydia left to get the pizzas, so he must have remembered it, back when you used to get pizza at his place. Even now, with you almost graduating from high school, you still had no idea what to make of Stiles.
“Thanks. I didn’t think you’d remember how I like my pizza,” you blurted out and Stiles paused, glancing at you with a mouthful of pizza. He swallowed, almost choking before he answered.
“Don’t worry about it, it’s my ADHD. I can remember a lot of unnecessary things.” His eyes widened. “Not that your pizza order is not important, but-”
“It’s fine,” you interrupted him with a small smile. “I remember small things, too. Reese’s and Honeycomb, right?”
Stiles’ lip parted and there was that scent again, so strong it nearly clouded over the rest of your senses. When you noticed Theo staring over at you with an curious look, you finally realized what the scent was.
Affection.
That was what you were smelling on Stiles.
But you knew that Stiles liked you, right? You were friends before your parents died, it was nothing new. This is like, your friendship blossoming again. You gave him a small, rather shy, smile, before taking a slice out of your pizza. Maybe this pack wasn’t so bad after all. You could do this, right? Being friends with Stiles? That was easy. As long as you didn’t slip up into the crush realm again, everything was going to be fine.
Over the next few weeks, your integration into the pack and their friend group at school was a slow but gradual process. Back in Salvador, you used to study for class with your packmates as it helped you focus on your work. Sometimes it ended up just being you and Stiles, since you were the only ones who took AP English Literature and AP Chemistry. Well, Lydia took them, too, but apparently she was too good for studying with Stiles and you, at least that was what he told you.
“I feel like my brain is leaking fluids,” you moaned, burying your face in your text book. It was nearly four pm and the sun was just blazing outside, while you and Stiles had been studying for the past couple of hours.
Stiles lifted his head off his desk, squinting at you. “Oh my god, same.”
“Do you have a hose in the backyard? I swear, if you’re going to make a dog joke, I’m going to kill you but spraying ourselves down could help with cooling down.”
“Or we could get ice cream,” Stiles suggested and you hummed. “It seems less waterboard-y and we haven’t eaten in like, five hours. I don’t know if you remember but there’s a pretty good ice cream place down by the park, Salt & Straw? And-”
“What did you just say?”
Your tone was sharp when you interrupted him, lifting the text book off of your face as Stiles paused at the hostility in your voice and he glanced over at you, salty nervosity wafting over to you.
“I just figured we’ve been studying for a while, and I could do ice cream. Salt & Straw is the best ice cream place around but if you want-”
“I gotta go,” you suddenly said, your shoulders tight. Stiles’ nervosity suddenly changed, turning sour and you could tell he was upset, but really what the hell did he expect? You avoided looking at him as you collected your things, stuffing them in your backpack, while he was only watching from where he was sitting at his desk.
“Right,” he said flatly and when you looked up at him, his eyes were sad. Turning away, you were glad that he wasn’t privy to all the whirlwind of emotions you were feeling: sad, angry and resentful. Resentful at Stiles because he brought up the very same ice cream place that he was meeting Lydia at while ditching you; angry at yourself for still letting this affect you the way it did and sad, mostly because all of this just took you right back to your parents’ death.
“I’ll see you at school then.”
“Sure.”
Even as you said it, you both knew it was a lie. You barely looked at Stiles when you bid your good bye, holding your emotions at bay until you reached the safe confines of your car. You could feel your claws coming in slowly, pricking the inside of your palm. You were usually really good with your control, the only time you could feel it slipping is when you felt like you lost control over your emotions. Starting the car quickly, you just wanted to get as far away from Stiles as possible, hoping that some distance would help. You were driving around aimlessly before you slowly rolled to a stop. You didn’t even know where you’d gone until you looked out of the window, freezing. This was really the last place you had wanted to go. Justin has been here a couple of times since you were back in Beacon Hills and he’d asked you to come with every single time but you refused. With a deep breath. you slowly opened your car door, shutting it behind you before you walked towards the two gravestones. They were shiny and clean, almost like not a single day as passed since the last time you were here.
“Hey mom. Hey dad.”
You stared at their gravestones for a while, shifting on your feet before letting out a deep sigh. “I’m sorry for not coming sooner… I guess I still haven’t really dealt with losing you…” Clearing your throat, you stared into the distance. “I guess it’s not fair of me to associate him to with your death. And maybe I shouldn’t be holding onto things for so long… But it’s so hard being back here without you guys.” Your sentence broke off when a sob escaped your mouth and when you covered your face with your hands, you finally allowed yourself to cry, really cry and mourn for your parents, your brother and yourself. When the sobs slowly turned into small sniffles, you wiped your wet cheeks with the sleeves of your shirt, exhaling deeply. Weirdly, you felt better now that you let it all out, but it was still a bit embarrassing.
“I’m really lost, mom. This thing with Stiles… It’s so complicated. I don’t understand why I got so upset when he mentioned that ice cream shop… I mean. It’s been such a long time. Why did I get so defensive?”
The silence was deafening and logically, you knew that you weren’t going to get an answer. But it felt good to say things out loud so you could process it.
“Do you think I’m so upset because I might have feelings for him?” you then added quietly, picking at a leaf that was laying on the pavement. “That’s stupid, right? I mean, isn’t this where we left off the last time? Ugh,” you groaned, palming your forehead. Why couldn’t life be simpler. If your mom was actually here, she’d know what to do. But she wasn’t, alas, you had to figure it out yourself. Crushing the leaf in your hand like it had personally offended you, you dropped the crushed bits to the floor.
“I guess it’s possible that I have feelings for Stiles…”
While you felt like a stone had lifted off of your chest ever since you’d gone to your parents’ grave, it seemed like you had resorted to your old ways of shutting everyone out. Especially Stiles. You knew you were being unreasonable, and it wasn’t really Stiles’ fault. Well, mostly not his fault. Valentine’s Day was definitely his fault. But you had to get over yourself, had to learn how to deal with your feelings first before you could find a way to be friends with Stiles. But avoiding Stiles was harder than you anticipated, considering you were in the same pack. And apparently, you and Stiles had been spending a lot of time with each other, the others have noticed.
“Did something happen between you and Stiles?”
You would’ve jumped if you hadn’t known that Scott had been standing behind your open locker door for the past five minutes, waiting patiently until you had closed it.
“Define “something”,” you said, shoving your history book into your backpack, while Scott frowned at you.
“You’re avoiding him.”
You sighed, giving Scott a look. “I’m not avoiding Stiles. I mean, we were just studying for the test. Test is over. No more studying. It’s not like something happened,” you said, a tad too defensively. Scott didn’t look convinced, but you really were in no mood to deal with this right now, pushing yourself off the locker when you were done, so you could walk to your next class. Scott apparently, had other plans, as he continued to follow you.
“You were hanging out all the time and now you’re barely around anymore. You missed our last pack meeting,” Scott pointed out. “You know Stiles is my best friend. I don’t want him to get hurt.”
With a scoff, you turned around, making Scott almost run into you with the way he was following you. “Have you ever thought about the fact that it’s not Stiles that is getting hurt in this situation?”
For the first time, you had stunned Scott speechless. Which of course didn’t last long.
“What do you mean?”
“Oh my god,” you muttered, rolling your eyes so hard you almost gave yourself whiplash. “For someone who prides himself on his detective skills, I can’t believe Stiles still hasn’t figured it out.” You only shook your head, continuing on your way, with Scott calling your name after you.
“What does that mean??”
You weren’t sure what exactly about your words had made Scott back off, but something must have worked, since no one in the pack has tried to bother you about the Stiles thing again. While you still kind of tried to hang out with them at school, you kept your distance from Stiles, who seemed weirdly okay with everything, which… Was fine. Kind of stung that he barely took a breather to check with you but it was fine. You were a big girl, you didn’t need him to take you by the hand.
“I’m going out for a run!” you said over your shoulder as you shut the door, plugging your headphones in. Muffled, you could hear some sort of answer but that was enough for you to start your run. You didn’t really have a set route as you liked to take different paths through Beacon Hills, re-acquainting yourself with the town. Today, you had decided to finally tackle the route through the park. It didn’t take you long until you block where the park was located, though you could feel yourself straining the moves to actually walk towards it, but you persisted, swallowing down the bile that seemed to be travelling up your throat.
The park was fairly busy by the time you reached the gates, too busy for you to walk through with a clear head. You contemplated whether you should jog through it or just cut your losses and turn back home, when you caught Stiles’ scent in the air. It was new, too. What was he doing at the park at nine in the morning? On a Saturday, on top of hat? You followed his scent through the park, trying to stay (mostly) on the path and keeping a low profile when you skidded to a stop. With furrowed brows, you tugged your headphones out of your ear, taking in the situation in front of you.
“What are you doing here?”
“Picnicking. I’m picnicking.”
Stiles spread out his arms and your eyes roamed over the picknick blanket where an assortment of snacks was laid out. It looked enough for a small army, and he was looking at you with a hopeful expression on his face, which… Really made it all worse, as angry tears started brimming in your eyes.
“What the fuck is this?” you snapped at him and his eyes widened, his smile dropping quickly “Is this some sick joke to you?”
“Wha-? No!” Stiles exclaimed, shaking his head. “I just thought-”
“No, Stiles, you weren’t thinking! This isn’t funny. At all. I can’t believe you’re doing this to me.”
You had tried to keep your voice even, but it cracked so obviously, your cheeks were burning in embarassment. Turning away, you blinked the tears away, but before you could make any move to leave, Stiles grabbed you by the shoulder.
“Wait! Please…”
You knew it wouldn’t take a lot to unwind yourself from Stiles’ grip, but he sounded desperate, his heart beating so loudly it sounded like it was right next to your ear.
“Whatever you think this is, that’s not what I’m doing. I promise,” he said quickly, dropping his hand from your shoulder as you glared at it. Stiles fumbled nervously with his hands. “Shit,” he cursed breathlessly, rubbing the back of his neck. “I thought this would be so much easier…” Stiles took a deep breath, looking at you. “I didn’t know. I’m sorry.”
“You didn’t know doing this is like slapping me across the face?” you asked, bewildered.
“No!” Stiles exclaimed. “I didn’t… I didn’t know it was you… My secret admirer. In middle school.”
What?
You only stared at him, too shellshocked to say anything else.
“I thought it was Lydia. That’s why I took her out for ice cream, I didn’t know that it was you.”
“You said you knew who it was and looked straight at me while you said it.”
Stiles winced. “Yeah… Clearly my detective skills weren’t as sharp as I’d like to believe back then… I think got a suspicion when you remembered that I liked honeycomb. No one knows I like honeycomb. And when you reacted so hurt when I brought up that ice cream parlor… I didn’t put it all together myself. I asked Theo and he confirmed my suspicion…” he trailed off, his head low. “I’m sorry I hurt you and I’m sorry I brought up bad memories with the ice cream place… I know your parents passed away shortly after, it must have been pretty shitty. I just wanted to get to know you again. Be close. I missed you. I always thought we kind of lost touch when you moved away, but now I remember that you pulled away even before that… I’m really sorry.”
You gaped at him, your eyes furrowed. He was…. Sorry? Your anger slowly melted away, leaving you mostly confused. “Oh… Um… It’s okay, I guess. It was so long ago. It’s not your fault my parents died and everything related to Beacon Hills just reminded me of them… I’m still working on that…” you gave him a small smile. “It’s really nice that you did this,” you started, wincing when Stiles’ face fell yet again. “But I think I need some more time till I figure out how to be friends with you without all these confusing feelings.”
“Wait, what feelings?” Stiles interjected, frowning.
You flushed. “Oh come on, you have to know.”
Stiles narrowed his eyes at you, watching your face for a minute before his face slackened, when he realized. His eyes widened a little and he stared at you, somehow, that made you flush even more.
“Oh.”
Yeah, oh.
Stiles beamed at you, for some reason, he looked absolutely fucking pleased. Figured he’d act like an idiot about it. You only rolled your eyes at him.
“Don’t let it get to your head. I’ll get over it eventually.”
“Why would you-” Stiles paused, eyeing you in disbelief. “You don’t know. How don’t you know? You’re a were, how do you not know?”
“Know what?” You asked, getting irritated. You didn’t appreciate how Stiles was questioning your abilities. Stiles didn’t reply, he only took a step towards you. Instinctively, you took a step back, making him roll his eyes at you.
“What are you doing?” you asked hotly and he only grinned at you, curling his hand around your waist, pulling you close. Your eyebrows rose a little when Stiles pressed his lips against yours, before you grabbed him by the nape of his neck, kissing him back.
Holy shit.
After a while, you pulled away, a little breathless.
“You all caught up now?” Stiles asked, like the little shit he was, and you frowned at him, poking his chest.
“You like me?”
“Oh great, you are all caught up now.”
“How was I supposed to know??”
Stiles gave you an incredulous look. “Hello? Werewolf? Heightened senses? There’s no way you didn’t smell my affection for you or how nervous I was when I was around you. I thought my heart was beating out of my chest half of the time!”
You were stumped. “I thought you just liked me as a friend.”
Stiles leaned his forehead against yours, muttering obscenities under his breath, but you weren’t listening to him, instead you were listening to his erratic heartbeat, which you had always interpreted normal for him, but apparently, it wasn’t. How did you read all of this so wrong?
“You are never going to let me live this down, are you?” you finally realized, exasperated and Stiles only shook his head, pursing his lips.
“Nope, never. I will forever remind you of this.”
As you looked at Stiles, his eyes twinkling with glee, you realized that maybe forever didn’t sound half as bad.
#stiles stilinski#stiles x reader#stiles stilinski x reader#stiles stilinski fanfiction#stiles stilinski fanfic
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Finding Myself, Finding You: Chapter Five
Masterlist
AO3 link
Story is 18+ for mature content/themes, minors do not interact please
TW/CWs for this story--implied/referenced past rape, canonical violence, non-canonical violence, blood, gore, referenced past suicide, swearing, surgery, excessive drinking, nightmares, panic attacks, mention of scars, vomiting, amputation, medical procedures, non-con medical procedures, referenced past medical torture, referenced past drugging, attempted sexual assault, panic attacks, mental health struggles, referenced sibling death, referenced parent death
Each chapter will have its own TW/CWs listed
This story, Lydia Vector, her family & bestie (c) me, TheVeganDarkElf
TWD & its characters (c) AMC & Robert Kirkman, the writer of the comic series
TW/CWs for this chapter--swearing, typical TWD violence (killing walkers), Daryl being kind of mean, mentions of a sex toy, mentions of blood (if you squint, maybe?)
Word count: 2.4k
After some time, Eric brought breakfast upstairs, and we spent probably a few hours there, just chatting and getting to know each other. They told me about how they met, their families, how they ended up in Alexandria. I told them about my family, some of the things I’d seen working in the ER, my best friend on the other side of the country. They also told me more about the other residents of Alexandria. It was nice to just be able to sit back and shoot the shit with other people. To be able to commune with my fellow humans again, to spend hours simply talking with other people--it brought me a feeling of peace that I didn’t know would be possible again in a world like this.
Eventually, there was a knock on their front door, and Eric got up to answer it. Shortly thereafter, there was an additional set of footsteps coming up the stairs.
“Vector!” I heard Rick call out. I cocked my head back as I heard him step into the room.
“‘Sup cowboy?” I asked him. Aaron chuckled softly. “Are my medical services required?” He shook his head.
“I want you to go out on a run with Daryl,” he explained. I felt my breath catch in my throat, and those butterflies from this morning returned and continued their dance in my stomach.
“Hmm-what?” I choked out.
“A short one. I think it’d be good for you to see what they’re like. Since you’re our medic, you won’t really be going outside the walls if we can help it,” he said. I let you a small sigh and nodded.
“Does this mean I can have my weapons back?”
“Yes, they’re all downstairs.”
“Kay, I’ll be down in a sec,” I replied. I felt Aaron place a hand on my shoulder as Rick made his way down the stairs. I grabbed a couple rolls of gauze and pads, as I always like to have some on my person. The rest were left on the nightstand next to Aaron. I looked back over my shoulder and saw him smiling at me. “Don’t say anything. I want to throw up. Now do you remember the medication instructions?”
“Sure do,” he replied. I put my backpack over my shoulders and propped myself up to my feet.
“If you need anything, I should be back soon,” I said, then lowering my voice to a whisper, “wish me luck.”
“You’ll be fine,” he assured. I gave him a small smile before turning and heading down the stairs. I grabbed my weapons off the table, sliding my leg holster back on and putting one of the guns in it. I stopped and thanked Eric for their hospitality before heading outside.
There was no sign of Daryl, so I started making my way to the front gate. As I passed by our place, though, he and Rick came outside.
“The new girl? Ya serious?” Daryl said, clearly irritated.
“She claims to have amazing combat skills,” Rick responded, looking over at me, “let her prove it.” I folded my arms across my chest and locked eyes with Daryl, shoving the flutters back down into my stomach.
“I mean, if you really want, I can prove it right now. Unless you're scared” I smirked, “and don’t worry. When you get bit, I can amputate your foot as well.” Daryl shoulder-checked Rick as he walked past us, his crossbow swaying against his back. I looked back at Rick and gave him an “oh no” face.
“Thoughts and prayers,” I mouthed, crossing my fingers and turning to follow Daryl to the front gate.
I spent the short walk trying not to throw up. My anxiety was through the roof, and I started overthinking about what I would say. A gentle breeze blew through his hair. It looked so soft, which complimented how rugged the rest of his appearance was. Near the front gate, there was a small car waiting for us. I was under the assumption we would be walking, but hopefully, a car meant that there would be a good amount we would be bringing back. I buckled myself up, and once the ok was given to open the gate, we were off. I didn’t know where we were going, but he seemed to. My eyes fell to my rope scars, and feeling triggered, I pulled my knife out and whipped it open, holding the handle and resting it on my leg pointing upwards. I guess Daryl could see it in his peripheral vision.
“I ain’t gonna hurt ya,” he said, keeping his eyes ahead of him.
“I don’t know that,” I replied, looking over at him and eyeing him up and down. He had his left arm resting on the windowsill, right hand on the steering wheel. He looked so calm, like this was just another day for him, like he’d done this a thousand times. Like the world hadn’t completely fallen apart around him. Just the sight of him made me swoon.
“Don’t ya think if I wanted, Id’da done somethin’ already?”
“I guess, yeah.”
There was silence for what felt like ages. Uncomfortable silence. Usually, I wasn’t one to be bothered by such a thing, but this time was different. I wanted to get to know this beautiful human. I wanted to know that he didn’t hate me.
“So…Daryl…what, uh…what did you do…before…before all of this?” He didn’t say a word, didn’t even look at me. I was already kicking myself.
“Well, I guess I’ll talk about myself then. I was literally a month away from finishing my residency, and my brothers were home from deployment. I think the last surgery I did was a skin graft for a burn victim. Uh, my favorite color is blue—“
“Why?” I was surprised to hear anything come out of him, let alone a question that would allow the conversation to continue.
“Oh, uh, I guess I’d never thought about that. Maybe beca—“
“No, why are ya still goin’ on?” I leaned back and stared out the passenger window. That one did sting a little bit. I figured maybe talking about the world before all of this may have been a touchy subject.
“Ooh, do you wanna see my more unique weapon?” If he didn’t want to talk, I thought I could potentially get a laugh out of him. I put my knife away and reached into my bag, moving shit around until I grabbed it and pulled it out. I held it up, making a semi-enthusiastic face.
“The hell’s that?” he asked.
“It’s a vibrator,” I said, smacking the top part against my hand, “it doesn’t work, but you hit ‘em upside the temple with this end, and they’re down. Plus, there’s just something so woman about stabbing a Walker through the eye with a sex toy.” I smiled, hoping maybe he’d at least chuckle or giggle a little. But nothing. I put the vibrator back in my bag, feeling defeated.
After another period of silence that felt like ages, we pulled up to a small pharmacy in the middle of nowhere. It looked rather desolate, so there hopefully wouldn’t be too many Walkers to deal with. I turned to Daryl as he slowly pulled up and put the car in park.
“You’re not much of a talker, are you?”
“Smart girl. No wonder you’re a doctor.” I was a bit taken aback. It was like he was being snide…but also kind of complimenting me at the same time? And I quite liked when he called me “smart girl.”
“I think you should talk more, Daryl.” I swallowed hard before continuing. “I like your voice. I could listen to you talk all day.” I opened my door and quickly hopped out, unsheathing my spear and looking around to make sure the coast was clear. I turned back and looked into the car, seeing him still sitting there, this time staring at me. ”Are you coming or not?” I shut the door and started making my way towards the pharmacy. I heard him get out, close his door, and lock the car.
He stepped ahead of me and pried the sliding doors open just enough for us to fit through. The only light that illuminated the small building was coming in from the front door and the windows around the top. He start slowly heading inside, his soft footfalls hardly making a sound.
“Hold on, I got this,” I whispered. I whistled loudly, the sound echoing off the walls. I heard some shuffling, and a few Walkers appeared from a couple different aisles, slowly sauntering their way toward us.
“Are ya stupid?” Daryl scolded.
“Rick wanted me to prove my combat skills, so that’s what I’m doing,” I explained.
I stepped by him and launched my spear forward at the first one, hitting it square in the forehead. I yanked it out and propped myself up onto one of the shelves to the left, climbing up it like a small ladder and flinging myself over the top to the next aisle. I landed on my feet and whipped around to the next Walker, stabbing up through the bottom of its jaw and through the top of its head. I dropped my spear with it as it fell and ran to the one behind it, taking it out with my knife. Lastly, I ran back to the aisle that was to the right of the one I started in. This last one was a bit taller than me, so I backed up to take a slight running head start. I launched myself into the air and dropkicked the Walker to the ground, using my knife to finish it off. Once I was sure it was finished, I wiped the knife off on this Walker’s shirt and walked back to Daryl. He looked surprised that not only had I finished them off which such speed, but I did it by myself. Before either of us could say anything, another one rounded the corner and started coming at us.
“Oh, looks like I missed one,” I said, turning back to Daryl and making eye contact with him. I threw my knife back over my shoulder, hitting the Walker in the head and hearing their limp body fall to the ground. “You’re welcome.” I smirked and maintained eye contact for a moment. His eyes were the most stunning shade of blue I’d ever seen. I thought for just a second about being flirty and saying that my favorite color is blue because it’s the color of his eyes, but I didn’t have the guts to be that forward. I had already made the comment about his voice, which could be interpreted as flirty, and I didn’t even know what possessed me to do that.
I turned back to retrieve my knife, and he headed over to the opposite side of the building to check for other people who may have been hiding out. I headed to the right side to do the same. Once we knew for sure the coast was clear, we started scavenging for things.
“Aw hell yeah,” I exclaimed, picking up a box off of the ground, “I found tampons!” I heard Daryl make a sound from a few aisles over. I couldn't decipher whether it was a scoff or a chuckle. “Listen, you try bleeding out of a hole in your body every 4 weeks with almost no way to really deal with it. This shit is like gold for women now.” I shoved the box into my bag and grabbed another one that I could see. I heard him putting things into what I guessed was a box that he found. We rummaged around for a bit before I found another thing to be excited about.
“Holy shit, is that a can of soup?” I picked up the lone can of tomato soup and tossed it into my bag. I stood up and got on my tiptoes to look over the aisles. I could see Daryl a couple of aisles away. “Everything looks incredible when you’ve been surviving off of freeze-dried astronaut food for longer than you can remember.” I walked my way over to the actual pharmacy section of the store, hoping I’d be able to scrounge up more painkillers and antibiotics. We got lucky, and I was able to find those things, as well as barbicide, bandages, anti-itch cream, and a myriad more.
I stood up, fanning myself off. It was scorching in there, and there was almost no airflow. The only air coming in was from the front door, which I was nowhere near. My chest was already lifted from the sports bra I was wearing, but I used my forearms to lift them a bit more, trying to get literally any airflow underneath to help myself cool off.
“You wanna know what’s annoying about having breasts, Daryl?”
“Nah, but I’m sure ya gonna tell me anyway.”
“It’s like having two heat packs strapped to the front of your body at all times, and there’s nothing you can do about it,” I explained, “it’s fucking hot up in this bitch.” A bead of sweat dripped down behind my glasses and into my eye.
“Well we about cleared the place out,” he said, coming in through the pharmacy door, “help me grab this.” I nodded and followed him out. He had found four boxes that he used to fill with various items.
“Wow, we really did luck out,” I said, grabbing two of them and stacking them on top of each other, lifting them from the handles of the one on the bottom, “I mean, it’s obvious why.” We started heading back to the car, looking around out the front door to make sure the coast was clear first.
“Why?” He popped the trunk open and set the boxes he was carrying down, scooting over so I could place mine in.
“Because I’m a good luck charm,” I joked, “maybe I should come out on these runs more often. And don’t forget to tell Rick that my combat skills are exactly as good as I say they are.”
For half a second, I swear I thought I saw him blush, just a little, but he turned away too quickly for me to get a good look.
#daryl dixon#daryl dixon x oc#twd#twd daryl#daryl dixon fanfiction#daryl dixon fluff#daryl fanfiction#eventual romance#slow burn#slow romance#the walking dead#twduniverse
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Feeling the weight of the sun (Here we come, blue and green) - 3 & 4
We were bound to be together (This woman is my destiny) - 14
I don't like that falling feels like flying 'til the bone crush - 9
for writer ask 👀
Feeling the weight of the sun (Here we come, blue and green)
BESTIE, YOU ARE NOT MAKING ME READ THIS ONE! I'm scared of it. So we'll go by memory.
3: What’s your favorite line of narration?
Kara entered her apartment with a sense of defeat, of having accomplished nothing. Lena wanted her to see something and she couldn't. Maybe she was too tired to see whatever she was supposed to see, so she tried to sleep as soon as she got home. The box was for her, Lena must have put something just for her to see or something only she would look for.
Also
That could take hours, the entire DEO searching for every possible hideout. She wanted to go to her apartment, make sure both Alex and Lena were okay, and not ready to kill each other. Thanks God or the sun or the stars or whatever deity that actually exists, James seemed to agree with her as he shook his head no.
4: What’s your favorite line of dialogue?
"Yes. When I say I saw it six times in theaters I meant that my father got the theater to play it for me. I was nine, which admittedly, still too young, but I loved it. My parents thought it was a documentary about the actual ship. My brother mocked me relentlessly.” “Ah. Rich girl problems,” Kara mocked.
Also
"You, Kara Danvers, are my hero. And I'd kiss you without you having to take a bullet for me."
Honorable mention to,
“Nice to meet you, Purity.” Lena stilled, and had to fight against the fog in her brain to figure out what the hell did that mean. When she did, she groaned and buried her face on the pillow right in front of her. “Could you please continue with what you were doing and forget about that?” “As you wish…”
We were bound to be together (This woman is my destiny)
14: Is there anything you wanted readers to learn from reading this fic?
That Dansen are perfect for each other and endgame 😌
Besides that, not really. I just felt like writing a soulmate AU for them and that was what my brain came up with. I'm pretty proud of how I presented the story tho. I'm also ALL for making Riley the official, not official, name of Kelly's ex-fiancee.
I don't like that falling feels like flying 'til the bone crush
9: Were there any alternate versions of this fic?
Not really, it was pretty much published as it was written. HOWEVER, When I first started writing it, I was under the impression that Donna would be WAY more relevant, and that Kara and Donna's story would be more explored. But story went other places 😂
Thanks for asking, Mel 💜
[Ask Game]
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hi! feel free to ignore this if you've already answered it before, but I was curious about your thoughts of Laenor/Rhaenyra alledgedy friendship the fandom is convinced they had going on.
originally I assumed it was a headcanon originating from [degoratory] but apparently, no. Many ppl share up and down that in fire & blood rhaenya x laenor grew closer post their marriage and were friends since Rhaenyra had no problem with laenor's lovers nor he with Ser Harwin.
Now, I'll admit I didn't really care for laenor in f&b tbh so maybe I should have focus more? But one thing I'm always fixated is how Viserys basically threatened Rhaenyra into marrying laenor (i like him. don't get me wrong but he doesn't get enough lashes for this) and rhaenyra's reaction is also reported. To have cried, screamed, begged etc. Obviously nothing positive.
the only "good" thing I can remember between rhaneyra and laenor is him being there with her when the children were born - which, sure that's nice but don't they both have an appearance to keep up? Like, maybe he was there to play the doting husband?
again, I don't mind the laenor x rhaneyra besties thing as a headcanon but I've seen readers being convinced and using their friendship as if it's canon in their arguments so i was wondering if I'm blind? Where they friends and I missed it? i think you might have mentioned in the past that you also don't think they had some deep rooted friendship but if so, where is everyone basing their beliefs from?
Hi there,
So I went over how that headcanon of Rhaenyra and Laenor being bffs holds no value in canon, and actually the books directly contradict it.
No, you are not blind. This fandom just has a very big imagination. Like @queenhousetargaryen once very well mentioned:
I don't know if these lies that are spread come from a desire to make Laenor into more than what he was because they like his parents, from trying to make it look like Rhaenyra's life was less miserable, or a bit of both or something else.
Where they take any of that from? Well where many in this fandom take their general beliefs and ideas from: www.voicesinsidemyhead.com and also www.convenientbeliefs4u.com or some BFN's lame post with 0 in book quotes.
Personally I cannot stand this "headcanon" because of what I mentioned: It takes away how much Rhaenyra suffered from being forced to marry against her will, and it also takes away from the pain she lived through those 6 years and how alone she was. It will never not be funny to me that the same BFN that rage at arranged marries suddenly seem to forget their aversion where Rhaenyra and Laenor are concerned. Oh well, anything to make the Velayrons look like perfect angels I suppose.
Some people: Rhaenyra and Laenor were bffs and he was a great choice of husband for her!
Us: Is Rhaenyra and Laenor being bffs and him being a great choice of husband for her here in the room with us?
You're not blind.
PS: Goes without saying but I still have to say it, everything written above concerns asoiaf canon Rhaenyra and asoiaf canon Laenor only. Keep redacted trash out of my tumblr. Thank you!
#rhaenyra targaryen#canon rhaenyra targaryen#laenor velaryon#canon laenor velaryon#the rogue prince#the princess and the queen#fire and blood#house targaryen#oh the headcanons *derogatory*#www.voicesinsidemyhead.com#www.conveninenttheories4u.com#this is where they get their ideas anon#arranged marries for anyone else: no#for rhaenyra: yes#imagine being a rhaenyra fan and liking this (:#I'm with you Anon#You are not blind but unfortunately you see in a land of blinds#have you seen Blindness? Based on the book by Saramago?#popcorn answers
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Night Blogging
okay, *technically* I'm not using the term right. It's an old phrase from before we called it Shitposting- we blamed all the weird stuff on sleep deprivation and Australians lmao
But it's night, and I'm blogging, so here we are.
so if you've read my other long posts, you'll know I'm in multiple open polyamorous relationships... and that I'm having what one might call "a hoe phase" and an accompanying crisis about if I still have worth if I'm a slut.
Well now im having a whole different (but still slut-adjacent) crisis. Do I even know what romance is????
This didnt come out of nowhere. My girlfriend mentioned that I was dating around as though I was single several months ago. And today she- wisely- brought up that i am at risk of girl bossing too close to the sun. and I had already been thinking about how my sibling had said that our parents didnt really model romance for us, and that we were told that romantic love is just kissing your best friend. And to be clear: I TOTALLY am. I'm not lonely or touch starved or sad or maidenless (or lad-less) in any sense of the imagination.
So... why am I still pursuing people??
The tree i can understand. He's a fun fuck, and he travels the renfaire circuit so I wont see him all the time. No chance of a solid relationship, just a fun easy breezy fling.
The lookout? Similar thing. Super fun to make out with and fine as HELL, but he lives like three hours away and doesnt seem interested in going steady. I can work with that
Max is PolySaturared and we just make out when I'm over for house parties, which isnt as often as I'd like but I'm desperately trying not to have too much of a crush on him (or his wife... or his girlfriend... or his other partner) so it's fine (jesus, maybe I'm not Ace, maybe I am just autistic)
Theres my good ex and my middle school bestie, but they're hella busy and our schedules havent really lined up. Disappointing, but acceptable.
The thing these people have in common is that they are almost entirely unavailable for me to date!! Until literally a month ago I was under the impression that I was just chasing the dopamine of New relationship Energy with ethically renewable sources and I could get my cozy domestic stability from my lovely girlfriends and partner...
And then trumpet guy and I made out at one of Max's house parties.... and Then I went on two dates with The Goblin King after making out with him and the Tree at the same time on NYE. And like??? It's so weird to say that I dont think either of them are stupid hot???? (But only one of the three people I'm dating is Stupid Hot, so there is precedent but?) It feels kinda weird and disingenuous to want to spend more time with these people who I'm not crushing on
And yet im Quickly falling head over clown shoes for trumpet guy. He's cute and fun and he asked me out on a date to dress way fancy and get sushi and go see a musical and???? I had just been telling a classmate that I didnt feel like I had been properly romanced since high school and?????? While I'm an impatient slut, it feels nice to be pursued.
The goblin king is really fucking sweet, and he's got really nice hair, but I'll wait to try talking myself out of liking him until after our next date... (too late, cant unthink that. I'll bring it up in person. He's really cool and I do want to still be his friend, but we both live with parents who would NOT get it so that kinda makes it hard to have solo couple time... or any couple time. It's not like I have to make a choice anytime soon but the dude deserves to know that I'm not sure if there's anything for us beyond friendship and the occasional kiss. Heck, we've only made out the one time and not even just us.)
Anyway, what's tumblr for other than an online diary??
#polyamory#you dont know me#but i know you#long post#nightblogging#romance#stream of consciousness#clown behavior
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okay part two lol THE SUNFLOWER EXTRA WAS SO ADORABLE I LOVED IT!! I thought it was so cute that it was set up in a way where we were getting Harry’s pov and how he was reminiscing their first date! It was a really cute way of incorporating their current dynamic while still giving us how their first date went! It was so cute😭 loved the fluffiness of it all!! Harry is just so cute in this! Like him being super early to pick her up and just watching her was soooo 😭 I feel like fluff can be overlooked sometimes so this was just absolutely such a sweet little read! ANWAYS bestie loved it as always!
Now I saw your post about the next couple of extras and I have some thoughts/questions that’s may help! NOW DONT FEEL OBLIGATED TO EVEN REMOTELY LIKE THEM AND TAHTS OKAY IF YOU DONT!!! You’re their creator and in the end you know best!
Okay so I am a neighbors STAN so I would accept anything for them lol though I do understand wanting to take a break from the concept of dadrry so I understand wanting to space them out! Traditional Harry is sooo always so INSANE in a good way so that would be nice to read too!
If you’re foaming at the mouth to write a Most check in… BESTIE I SUPPORT WRITTING THEM BC IF YOURE GOING CRAZY I WILL DIE!! Obviously only if you feel inspired lol and same goes with Dolcezza!
Okay now with Yours, you said you imagined them getting back together so how would that exactly go? Harry is famous in this so would the transition be easy or immediate? Do they do a co-parenting thing for awhile(bc technically that’s being in both their lives) and solely focus on the baby? Or do they have a little miscommunication with how their dynamic will be, are they going to work it out romantically?
In the ask you mentioned a ring so a cute engagement proposal would be cute if you feel up for it! MFT could be angsty with how both are in their final year(I think they if not I will simply have to reread 😊) and maybe they think about what the next “level” of their relationship looks like? DING omg idk what I would suggest tbh lol only bc I can see the Cupcake still not being able to open up like emotionally yet and maybe it’s like a rough patch in their relationship and that comes up? Idk why all I can think for them is angst lol
ANYWAYS!!! These are just ideas you obviously don’t have to do any of them and I’m sure you’ll create something far more magical!!-💜
I felt like I had been writing a lot of first date moments recently and I was like I need another angle. So I figured it would be nice to be like "no they're like really a couple and very cutesy" and still make them have the fluffy first date jitters kind of thing. Glad you loved it! 💕
Don't get me wrong, I would love to do a Neighbors update but yeah, I'm going to hold off because we're mid-dadrry and not getting rid of them till October either. I'm thinking something like DECEMBER for them 😭 (I have two outlined/planned extras for Neighbors!) and I ALWAYS have a Traditional extra ready to go (there are four outlined/planned extras left in my drafts!)
I'm kinda hoping I can do Most tbh but also hoping I can wait until October? That would be ideal. I'm trying to stockpile ideas and drafts and pieces because like I mentioned it's going to be busy in October 😭 Dolcezza would be fun too I think I relate most to her so it's pretty easy to whip up some emotional stuff and whatnot for them (although as I mentioned I have a smutty idea for them--or maybe at least part-smut 🤭)
Your questions for all of the next ones are SO helpful!
I like the idea of Yours NOT being an easy transition. Miscommunication? Here for it. (Spoiler/not spoiler, they're going to work out romantically 😉) Next level of MFT relationship would be LOVELY especially in their last year! Ding angst is also my favorite kind of angst I def relate to her a lot as well and it's easy for me to feel angsty hahahaha
Thank you for all your ideas! I sincerely appreciate it! I was hoping for a little more feedback on it but I guess since it wasn't a clear cut poll I didn't really do anyone any favors 🤷♀️ but that's okay. I appreciate the feedback I got 💕 Thank you as always!
xoxo
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All hail Mira I’m so psyched to read it and see the wc….trust I will be back here screaming my head off with commentary….fr getting spoiled with your inaccurate wcs (MAKING OTOYAS LOOK SHORT??? BRO)
NO BECAUSE THAT IM SAYING??? Kaneshiro were claiming copyright for our ideas please pay us in a Karasu awakening
LMFAOO that panel visual is literally just hollyhock Otoya??? I think your blog may just be magical like the entire BLLK editorial/pr/creation team just stalking you atp but THE KARASU PANELS >>>>>> ugh he looks so GOOD I forgot to mention I noticed how in the headers of your fics you’ll have a (very aesthetically pleasing) mini collage of the character and now you’ve got more karasu materials for that HAHA
And FR really hope that they’ll explore more duos and pairs in the future! I get that the popular matchups are usually there also for marketing purposes but it would fr be nice to see them interacting with others and maybe not just having like, 1 singular bestie LOL
Omg the Rin Sae parallel I see the vision….ugh someone bring Kunigami back I bet he’d have some really funny/interesting dynamics with other characters!! Another gentleman omg….theres just something in the Akita waters….
LMFAO Nagi just being there to hear the tea and listen to the gossip is so real like he’s not moving a MUSCLE to do anything he’s just enjoying the drama….the few words he says plus both y/n and karasu being oblivious idiots is truly THE most chaotic scenario HAHA karasu being in such disbelief that any one of the wingman could give an exact description of him and he’d be like “you mean she knows another dude who plays soccer from Osaka who’s tall has dark hair and is named after a bird???”
Omg talk about a strong pill LOL but YAY omg glad it was fun it sounds so cool!!! Minus the barfing part LOL (ok sorry but I have to ask was it MIDAIR?? I’m just imagining you pulling out a bag while cruising over the scenery LMAO) and ohhhhhhh side effects that makes sense….i wonder if maybe a different brand would have less side effects? But yeah giving your doc a call sounds like a good idea! Hopefully they have a solution for you!!!
MANIFESTING BABY SO HARD!! I agree like seeing the little interactions between other players and people too he actually seems like such a sweet/pure boy? Like if he actually knew how to show affection or what it was I feel like it’d definitely show in his relationships in a way….idk like the way he bonded with chigiri kinda quickly after the 3v3 in the second selection where they’re like testing what he’s able to trap LOL I’m trying to think of more examples off the top of my head but there were definitely moments that made me say “omg wait??” Seriously makes me wonder where people pull all those red flag headcanons from **their asses** but anyways…
I’m crying imagine it’s wavy but because his parents dgaf they just go with the bowl it regardless so you just see the little waves and then at some point they just abruptly cut off (it’s giving like…..a pre-boiled block of instant noodles LMAO)
This is also kinda unrelated/unprompted but everyday I’m thinking of when the next LN is gonna be announced….im lowk trying to see at what intervals they announced the previous ones (iirc the one with yuki was announced pretty fast which caught me off guard so im hoping the next one comes soon!!!)
-Karasu anon
I LIKE AM ACTUALLY CLOSE TO FINISHING I THINK!! FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY!!! but then i’m going to have to try and squeeze proofreading in around vacation activities so it’ll still be a sec until it’s properly posted…even then though i think the day is approaching 🤩 my hope is to have it done by karasu’s birthday at the very latest 😩
episode nagi manga panels always come through for my little headers!! i’ve started trying to experiment more beyond just having the basic three panel + lines setup…the header for karasu’s version of bfb is the same as otoya’s but with blue lines instead of green!! it’s fun to come up with different little graphics hehe i enjoy it as much as writing tbh
OUR CONVOS HAVE BEEN TAPPED BY THE CIA (bllk manga authors) they are onto us…HOW did they know to draw otoya as an actual ninja??? did they read hollyhock??? 😳😟🤨🫣 the manifestations go crazy around here fr
i agree that it’s def partially a marketing thing but also there’s just sooo many characters that it’s probably hard to play out all possible combos naturally!! i pray for the day that kunigami actually does smth meaningful again and also for the whole wildcard thing to get explained 😔 i feel like it was just an opportunity to create tension but it hasn’t been truly expanded upon so it just feels kinda random almost
HELP karasu is like “6ft tall…speaks with a kansai dialect…gets along well with people…has unusual hair…named after an animal…YO HIORI 🤔😨⁉️” (iirc hiori’s first name means sheep) i think nagi yuki and barou just give up at that point because bro is fr saying anything and missing the obvious answer sooo badly 😭
IT WAS MIDAIR 😭😭😭 we drove to italy today and i took a diff medicine and i got so dizzy it was like the world was straight up cartwheeling 😰 but it’s much flatter and smoother here so it should be good to go from here on out!! and yes i hope the doctors have a solution for it because i’m sure i’m not the first person who’s had a similar problem ☝🏻
i think for me it’s the way he was able to connect w zantetsu so quickly…like he genuinely just listened to him and didn’t judge unlike reo and literally everyone else, which is how team v trio was even able to function in the first place 🥹 plus him w isagi and chigiri in second selection as well as his implied dynamic with karasu during the day off is just so CUTE to me like he’s honestly pretty good with people he’s just also really confused about it at times 😭 idk maybe i’m biased because i like him sm but to me he’ll always just be awkward and standoffish because he doesn’t know any better/different not because he doesn’t care 😪
pov baby nagi had the niko haircut 😭😭💔💔 nooo i’m manifesting a cute little way curly bird’s nest thing going on with like super round cheeks and big eyes 😩🙏🏻 baby nagi w instant ramen hair will haunt my dreams though 😓 sleep paralysis demon fr
I NEED IT TO BE SOON AND I NEED KARASU AND OTOYA TO BE IN IT!! i’ll be sad because i do think a karasu ln will make some of my stories for him not as close to canon as they are rn?? especially bfb…but a) how many people read the ln’s, b) they’re already aus, and c) that just means i can write him even better in the future!! plus given our track record at manifesting things i think i should be pretty safe 🤞🏻
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something lgbt just happened to me (extreme emotional pain edition)
(ignore me I just need an internet void to scream in where she wont see it or read if you’re nosy and willing to be nice about it)
(also if anyone has any advice for how to not be so fucked up about the girl who is kinda your ex but not really (in the “never actually dated but we both had feelings and acted like it a lot” way) officially dating a new person for the first time since she shattered your heart into a million tiny pieces please dm me said advice this is 100% serious)
like we have all the same friends and it’s been over half a year so I feel weird talking to irl people about it. even I am surprised at how intensely the emotions punched me in the lungs when she told us she has a bf now. like cmon brain I knew we weren’t over this but I thought we were at least getting better.
also there’s the added fun layer of “her own internalized biphobia and biphobic family members made it so our connection was always laced with shame and repression and suffering anyway.” and now she gets to celebrate this moment with friends and family and do boy talk with her mom and ask her parents for advice about this guy she’s known for a couple months and have an easy friends to lovers arc with him. while I was stuck listening to her family coo over how she should get back with her ex bf once he transferred to our college while she and I were literally sleeping in the same bed the night before. but bc I’m not a guy ofc nothing could possibly have been going on there.
like you’re telling me I was in a years-long, will-they-won’t-they sufferfest where I was embarrassingly emotionally devoted to this person only for npc #3 to crawl out of the woodwork and get the instant stamp of approval for wanting to get to know her better and giving it the old college try?
and to be clear I’m not blaming her she feels how she feels and obviously the bi/homophobia is a societal/community level issue. it just sucks so bad to fall so deeply in love with someone over such a long time and have those feelings be treated less seriously because of things we can’t control. like just on top of the regular heartbreak of it all. and believe me the regular heartbreak of it all is more than enough for my little eggshell heart to handle.
and on a regular heartbreak level it also sucks because she’s a good person that I genuinely care about on a non-romantic level and still think very highly of. like our relationship wasn’t and still isn’t perfect but she’s one of the best people in my life and an objectively decent human being. so it’s not like I can even rationalize to myself “well it was toxic” (actually maybe the dynamic was but like SHE wasn’t a toxic person y’know) or “she treated me badly” or “she sucks so I’m better off now anyway.” like no she’s wonderful and her new bf is very lucky life just sucks sometimes.
did I mention she and I are still best friends and even though we live in different cities now which helps I still have to pretend to be totally 100% excited about this for the sake of being a good bestie? like god I love being a lesbian if I had to do life all over again and got a choice I would choose to be queer every single goddamn time. but this is the most painful shit I’ve ever felt in my life and that’s a pretty high bar at this point. especially since this is technically not my first heartbreak but it’s my first one since realizing I’m a lesbian and not bi and started having a lot of The Piercing Loneliness of Breaking Every Societal Expectation feelings about it. like I think my brain was unintentionally pulling a “maybe I’ll turn out normal-passing” on itself (which is total bullshit) for a while there. and even though I know that was bullshit coming to terms with being a lesbian was so much harder for me than coming to terms with being queer at all and everything related to it has just felt so much more intense since.
and on some level I’m also jealous bc she got out and can have a relationship she can celebrate and talk about with her family without fear and I can never have that. like bi people obviously go through so much shit and have a hard time getting both straight and gay people to take them seriously and as someone who lived that (in the “other people treated me like I was bi bc we all thought I was” sense) and thought that was who I was for 7 years I would never want to diminish that but oh my god being on the other side now I can understand how easy it is to let yourself get bitter. And I never want to be that person but at the same time speaking purely of my own experience it didn’t take me so long (2+ years) to figure out I was a lesbian because I just didn’t know like at some point deep down I knew especially near the end of my questioning era but I kept asking myself “well are you SURE?” because didn’t want to face the loneliness of it. Of closing the door on the last possible chance I had for my family and I to bond over something in a normal way for once. And coming out again was incredibly freeing but I also had to be willing to break my own heart to do it and the compounding heartbreak is just so much.
anyway if anyone is reading this I love you and I hope you’re having a better day than me. happy new year.
#repost bc I initially said this in the tags and went to like double the tag limit#which apparently exists#anyway happy new year yall#hope youre all having a better day than me#manifesting something better for us all in the new year
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Aaron Hotchner Playlist Collection 💕
Rag Doll by Aerosmith here
These stand-alone and are not part of a series! Reader’s Dad is Aaron’s bestie in this 🤪
Warnings: age gap, smut, Orval, fem receiving, kind of a breeding kink? 🙃 there’s talk of pregnancy throughout but reader is NOT pregnant. Small family feud but not really
Word count: 2.1 k but I’m double updating today
"Your dad's friend is hot," you not so subtle friend Alexis couldn't help but ogle over Aaron on her way out the door. He was seated at the couch, his hands on his knees, laying flat against his lap. It was true, he was really fucking hot, but you couldn't have your dad or Aaron hearing that she thought so.
"Always fun to have you around, Lex. See you later," she'd only stopped by because you were in town visiting for a week, and you hadn't seen her since you'd finished college. You were staying at your parents house for the remainder of the week, which meant being around Aaron nearly everyday. He was their neighbor, and your dad's best friend, making his way over for dinner most nights.
They'd just poured a glass of wine when you joined them, taking the empty seat next to your mother on the couch.
"She's always so sweet," your mother said politely, pouring you a glass of wine once you'd sat down. It was nice to be spending time with them, and you'd never complain about Aaron's presence.
"She's pregnant," you blurted, knowing your mother would find out eventually from Alexis's mother.
"Oh, how adorable. Grandchildren," she sighed, her eyes flickering to your stomach for a brief moment before your eyes narrowed at her, your dad sighing dramatically before exchanging a glance with Aaron.
"Here they go," your dad muttered before you drained your glass, your father coming to the rescue with a quick refill.
"Could you let me be a college graduate for more than two weeks before you start hounding me about babies? Do I look capable enough to reproduce on my own, mom? Because we're missing a key element here," your mother tossed her hands up in surrender, but she was nowhere near done.
"Maybe if you weren't so stubborn some nice man would whisk you away, but with that attitude, you'll have ten cats by the time Alexis pops out her third," your dad cleared his throat awkwardly and you shot him an apologetic look, mortified that she had to do this every time a baby was mentioned.
"My attitude is fine, mom. I just don't want to have the settling down discussion right now," your mother insisted on doing this every time you saw her, upset that you'd not brought anyone home for them to meet since high school prom.
"Honey," she started, looking to your father, "wouldn't some grandkids be nice?"
He huffed, taking a sip of his wine, and by the look on his face he wished it was something stronger. You caught Aaron's attention and mouthed an apology, but he was clearly entertained by the back and forth between you three.
"She's young. Give her time," was all he said, so you considered it a victory on your behalf because your mother dropped the topic and left it alone. You finished your wine before you excused yourself to the kitchen to find a snack. It wasn't long before another body joined you in the kitchen, in fact, you backed into him when you opened the fridge.
"I'm so sorry about my mom," he shook his head, holding the door open for you as you looked for a snack.
"No, I'm sorry. It's a lot of pressure on you, I'm sure," his eyes raked over you momentarily, his gaze fixed on your hips and waist.
"It is. But I'm only in town a few more days, so I try to just overlook it," you settled on a cup of jello, leaned against the corner snacking as Aaron took you in. He'd always been polite, but now the look in his eyes radiated something else entirely.
"Are you busy later?"
His question caught you off guard so you shook your head no, watching as he checked behind him to make sure only you were listening.
"You know where I am, maybe I can help relieve some of the stress they put on you," you were taken aback by how forward he was, but you were intrigued anyway, taking a slow step forward, swaying your hips slightly as you did so.
"You want to sneak around with your best friend's daughter? You're bad," but you were even worse, because the heat was already pooling between your thighs at the thought of having him for yourself.
"You're grown, you can make your own decisions. So come be bad with me," he left you standing in the kitchen, your jello cup half eaten in your hand. You weighed the pros and cons and decided the pros outweighed the bad drastically, so you excused yourself for the night and waited for Aaron to leave, hearing him linger downstairs for thirty more minutes after you went to your room. You took the opportunity to change, knowing what the night had in store for you, slipping on a black matching set under your dress that was already barely there; but you'd assumed that's what had gotten his attention in the first place.
You heard him tell your father goodnight and you crept out the window, trying hard not to flash any of your neighbors as you shimmied down the trellis and your feet hit the ground. It wasn't a long walk, so you met him at the front door where he was still waiting for you. He hadn't even gotten the key in the door yet.
"I knew you'd show up," he said smugly, giving you a once-over before he invited you inside. You barely stepped over the threshold when his strong hands gripped your shoulders and pulled you forward to connect with his lips, his hands roaming over the fabric of your dress.
"Make it worth my while," you shot back, bracing yourself as he put you against the wall. His knee separated your thighs as his hand trailed under your dress, pushing your panties to the side so he could feel you. You whimpered at his fingertips, tracing patterns over your clit as you wiggled against the wall and his mouth hovered over yours.
"Once I'm finished with you, you won't have the strength to walk back home," he promised, dropping to his knees in the floor, helping you to step out of your panties. He disappeared beneath your dress, the heat of his mouth inches away from your aching core. His tongue made contact with your center and you flattened against the wall, his face pressed into you.
"Dress off," he mumbled, so you brought it over your head and let it fall into the floor, watching with lust filled eyes as he devoured you.
"Bossy," you said, gazing down at him. You tossed one leg lazily over his shoulder and watched his whole demeanor change; he went from possessive to possessed, sucking and lapping at your clit in an erotic frenzy.
"Tastes so sweet," his fingers spread your glistening lips open so he could plant a gentle kiss on your clit that had you crumbling, panting his name as a cocky grin spread out across his face.
"We aren't done, not by a long shot," you helped when he stood up and brought you along with him, carrying you throughout the house like a rag doll. You saw it as your chance to cover him with kisses, his tongue lazily teasing your mouth as he took you to his bedroom. Your back hit the mattress and then he was stripping down, unbuttoning his shirt at a snails pace, letting his jeans and belt crumple into a pile on the floor. You groaned at the sight of him, his eyebrows shooting up curiously at the noise.
"Are all those pretty little sounds for me?" His dick was stiff through his boxers, but he quickly shed those too, pumping himself in his hand as he looked at you. To tease him further, you spread your legs, your dainty fingers settling on your clit as you peered your at him through your lashes.
"That's it baby, spread your legs so I can see that perfect pussy of yours," he was standing right in front of you, stroking himself as you played with your pussy for him, putting on a show. He was captivated by you, held in the trance of your fingers dancing across your flesh. His own fingers darted out to touch you, teasing your entrance before slipping inside of you. You let out a whimper and his head ducked down between your legs to capture your clit once more, fucking you with his fingers and tongue simultaneously.
His hand still moved slowly on his cock, precum leaking from the tip as he savored you, sucking your clit between his teeth. He let out an animalistic growl as you tightened around his fingers and shouted his name, panting for breath. He drug you to the edge of the bed, teasing your slit with his cock before slamming into you, his eyes rolling back in pleasure as he stilled his hips, letting his cock twitch inside of you before he moved a muscle.
"All this talk about babies makes me want to fill you up. Can I?" His filthy words urged you on as you nodded your head, watching him ease out of you before sinking back into you.
"Please, Aaron," you couldn't wait anymore, you needed to feel that welcomed stretch as your walls clenched around him.
"You're impatient; we should work on that," He pulled completely out of you, leaving you a whining, desperate mess on his bedsheets. He took his cock in his hand and teased you by stroking it close enough for you to see, but too far away to touch.
"I'll beg," you told him, his brow shooting up curiously at your statement.
"Go on, then. Beg me to fuck you; beg me to make you scream so loud that we wake up half the neighborhood," the mischievous gleam in his eye had you yearning for more of his cocky attitude, and normally you wouldn't have given in, but you couldn't resist him.
"Aaron, please. Can't you see how badly I need you?" Your thighs were soaked with your own arousal as your hips wiggled on the bed, impatiently waiting for him to slide back into you. He did so without any warning, your flesh slamming against his as he shut you up; other than your cries of pleasure, there wasn't a sound to be heard in his home. His fingertips pressed marks into your thighs from gripping them so tightly, marking you up so he could admire his work.
"What's the matter? Your pretty little mouth run out of things to say? Maybe we've finally fixed that attitude of yours," you could hear the sarcasm dripping from his words as he pushed your legs back, hitting all the best spots from a new angle. He had you folded up, your knees bent slightly as your back arched and you came, your nails digging into his forearms.
"That's it, baby. Let me hear you," the rapid thumping of his hips never ceased, even through your orgasm, he mercilessly pounded into you, his hand gripping your ass tightly.
"I'm going to fill you up, sweet girl. Cum deep inside of you," he grunted, his thrusts more urgent and needy as he reached his climax.
"Give it all to me, Aaron," you pleaded, his warmth spreading inside of you as he sputtered your name. He slowly slid his dick from you, watching in awe as his cum spilled out of you. You watched with wide eyes as he gathered it on the tip of his cock and slid it back inside of you.
"Consider this practice for all of those babies your mother wants you to have," he whispered, laying your legs down but being sure to keep them tucked together. You watched as he laid down next to you, his fingers running along your body tantalizingly slow.
"Here I am attached to you already, and you're leaving in a couple of days," he sighed, his nose brushing against your jaw bone. You leaned up to kiss him, knowing there'd never be anyone else to satisfy you the way that he had.
"I'm only an hour away," you reminded him, a smile ghosting his lips for a second.
"You'd come back just to see me?" He seemed doubtful, but you assured him you would, if he was sure that he wanted you to.
"I'm not in town often, but there's always time for you when I am," he told you, bringing the blanket over your legs to cover you up.
"Is that a promise?"
"Absolutely."
#aaron hotchner playlist collection#aaron hotchner#criminal minds#hotch#ssa hotchner#ssa aaron hotchner#aaron hotchner smut#hotchner#aaronhotcnher#hotch x reader#aaron hotchner one shot
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a bunch of haikyuu headcanons i can't stop thinking about
i can't find the time to finish the manga so it lives in my head 24/7. *sigh* bear with my silly thoughts about these gay volleyball dorks
W: brief mentions of mental illnesses and eating disorders
Atsumu is dyslexic. (Bad at academics, gets the worst score in every test. Teachers usually understand so he doesn't fail his classes but he knows that volleyball's the only thing he's actually good at. So he tries his damn best all the time -to show that he's not so useless after all, he's good at one thing, at least. And yet, his brother is better than him at that thing too. I like the angst.)
Kiyoomi has OCD. (I'm actually just projecting myself but it's not my fault it fits him perfectly.) He was diagnosed when he was very little and has been going to therapy for as long as he can remember. I've seen a couple of articles about how in some Asian countries such illnesses have to be said in CV and resumes and people can face discrimination in employment because of them. Which made me wonder, could Kiyoomi have had a hard time getting into an official volleyball team? Could his long history with this incurable mental illness have gotten in the way of his career despite his talent? I think maybe his parents wanted him to get a college degree in case his volleyball career doesn't work out just because of this. And I think he was really scared too.)
Yamaguchi had an eating disorder in middle school and recovered throughout his high school years. (Tsukki might be stupid in many things but he's careful with this one. He reads about it online and tries to help. When Yamaguchi's parents are out for the night he invites him over to dinner to make sure he eats something. Yamaguchi says it's okay, he doesn't have to worry about it so much. Tsukki says shut up, he means I like spending time with you. He's getting there.)
Atsumu and Kiyoomi were married in the 2021 Olympics. Ushijima and Kageyama didn't know for like a week. (that's when they decided Kiyoomi would change the name on his Jersey lol)
After a whole year of travelling the world by himself, Nishinoya started feeling lonely —and scared, when he realised the world was bigger than he thought. If Asahi hadn't tagged along he would have given up and gone back home. But when he did, Nishinoya started enjoying travelling again. They stuck together since then,
Asahi proposed in Paris because they're silly and sappy and in love like that.
Suna and Komori are gossip besties. They talk shit about everyone in the V. Leauge. Osamu joins sometimes. Kiyoomi sells info.
Hinata is allergic to many things.
Atsumu claims he hates his brother but he takes all his teammates to eat dinner at Onigiri Miya three times a week.
Yamaguchi brings lunch to the museum for Tsukki. All the other staff there ADORE him. They're all surprised someone so nice like Yamaguchi is friends with Tsukishima Do Not Interrupt Me While I'm Lecturing About Tyrannosauruses Kei.
Kiyoomi is terrified of insects. (Atsumu wants to make fun of him for it but he's equally scared. Meian rolls his eyes and curses all his life choices as he mumbles "ok you can get off the table now, i threw the spider out" for the fifth time that week.)
Bokuto gives the best hugs. (He spins people around too, to Akaashi's horror. —"Please stop doing that in front of my coworkers, Bokuto-san, I have a reputation.")
Kuroo always interrupts Kenma's livestreams, unintentionally. It starts with a hand that slides a plate for him every five hours. Then there's a whisper yelling of "Eat your vegetables too, I made them with love, Kyanma, have some respect and eat your vegetables." which Kenma only responds with clearing his throat. There's distant chuckles coming from the background or Kenma yelling mid-game "Kuroo get off the net my connection's lagging!" Things like that. They don't say it to public but they don't try to hide that they live together either. (Kodzuken fans started a tag #thatguykodzuliveswith on twitter and they ship the two. Kuroo thinks it's hilarious.)
(This one's a bit sad) Iwaizumi and Oikawa were dating in high school. They were disgustingly in love, too. In their senior year, Oikawa applied for a bunch of teams but got rejected. Since he never made it to Nationals, his resume seemed dull and teams didn't want a rookie setter with no visible success. Among the teams that did accept him, the best one was Club Atletico San Juan, in Argentina. But as uncharacteristically as it may seem, Oikawa was hesitating. Over thinking about what would happen to their relationship, could they really make it work? Was it worth it? Iwaizumi saw right through him, of course he did, and he didn't want to hold him back from achieving his dreams. And like the dramatic idiot he is, he broke up with Oikawa. And did his best to break his heart, too. Oikawa boarded his plane and went to the other side of the world with nothing but anger in his heart for Iwaizumi. Iwa cried a lot, but he was sure that this was the best thing he could do for Oikawa, letting him go. (The next time they saw each other was in the Olympics. After the Japan vs. Argentina match Iwaizumi found him in the locker rooms. Oikawa punched him. They got back together. Or maybe they didn't. I don't know. I like breaking their hearts I like the angst.)
Kiyoomi pretends to hate kids but he gets along with them. (as long as they don't touch him so much they're pretty cool little humans) kids like him a lot. He's surprised too. (I'm projecting—)
Miyas' grandma loves Suna better than both of the twins.
Tendou dragged Ushijima to Disneyland and forced him to do all the stupid things there was with him. (He thought he was forcing him while Ushijima was actually enjoying the trip a lot.) (Also, the moment Tendou saw Ushi with Mickey ears and face paint was the moment he knew.)
Korai and Hirugami have been dating since their last year in high school, but they haven't told their families about it. Years later in Schweiden Adlers, Hirugami's older brother Fukuro is Korai's team captain. And Korai feels so guilty for secretly dating his brother that he can't even look at Fukuro in the eye. They hesitate whether they should tell him or not, and Korai is stressed tf out™ all the time thinking that soon captain's gonna find out and they'll kick him out of the team. And then, one day in a team dinner Fukuro turns to Korai and says, "This place's fish is great, you should take Sachiro on a date here someday, he'll love it." ...He's known the whole time.
Everyone is asexual because I am and I say so.
Atsumu and Kiyoomi are dog parents.
Kenma and Kuroo are cat parents.
Yamaguchi and Tsukki are bird parents.
Suga and Daichi are plant parents.
Thank you for coming to my ted talk.
#haikyuu#haikyu#hq#hq!!#haikyuu!!#headcanons#haikyuu headcanons#miya atsumu#sakusa kiyoomi#yamaguchi tadashi#tsukishima kei#nishinoya yuu#azumane asahi#suna rintarou#komori motoya#kuroo tetsurou#kozume kenma#ushijima wakatoshi#tendou satori#oikawa tooru#iwaizumi hajime#hinata shoyo#literally anyone but kageyama huh#sakuatsu#tsukkiyama#asanoya#kuroken#ushiten#bokuaka#iwaoi
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Finding Myself, Finding You: Chapter Thirteen
Masterlist
AO3 link
Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist <3 (18+ only, MDNI)
Story is 18+ for mature content/themes, minors do not interact please
TW/CWs for this story--implied/referenced past rape, canonical violence, non-canonical violence, blood, gore, referenced past suicide, swearing, surgery, excessive drinking, nightmares, panic attacks, mention of scars, vomiting, amputation, medical procedures, non-con medical procedures, referenced past medical torture, referenced past drugging, attempted sexual assault, panic attacks, mental health struggles, referenced sibling death, referenced parent death
Each chapter will have its own TW/CWs listed
This story, Lydia Vector, her family & bestie (c) me, TheVeganDarkElf
TWD & its characters (c) AMC & Robert Kirkman, the writer of the comic series
Sleeping Beauty (c) Disney, Wednesday Addams (c) Charles Addams
TW/CWs for this chapter--swearing (there's swearing in every chapter ok), allusion to child abuse (Daryl's history), gagging, mentions of trying not to vomit, a gross story about food coming out someone's nose, mention of scars, mention of blood, mention of needles
Word count: 2.7k
"Ooh, I got one. Do you have an embarrassing story to share? If you share one, I’ll tell you one of mine. Make it fair,” I said.
We’d been driving for a little bit, just shooting the shit on our way to find Aaron a foot. It was nice to sit back and talk with Daryl while we cruised down the empty road. Made things seem a little bit normal, like this was just a cross-country road trip with a friend and not going to find a prosthetic for someone whose foot I had to cut off with an axe after a walker bite. He was easy to talk to, a bit awkward with some of the things he said, but it was an enjoyable experience regardless. The little bits of awkwardness were cute and made me think that maybe he was getting a little nervous, which I thought was adorable. It was going well so far, and I felt like I was actually starting to get to know Daryl, even if it was just a tiny bit.
“Nah, don’t got one,” he said. I crossed my arms over my chest and turned my body slightly in his direction, sighing a little.
“Come on, please? I’m sure you do,” I asked, making a pouty face to tease him, “we all do. If it helps, I have some that are pretty bad.” He looked over at my pathetic attempt of a pouty face, and his features relaxed a little, like he couldn’t say no and was accepting defeat.
“Fine,” Daryl said, “when I was a kid, got lost in the woods and accidentally used poison oak after...yeah. Ass itched somethin’ awful.” I stifled my laugh a bit, though it was mostly the phrase “ass itched somethin’ awful” that made me giggle.
“Oof, that’s brutal. How long were you lost for?” I asked, expecting him to say hours at most, or that he was out camping or something when it happened.
“Nine days. Dad didn’t even know I was gone.”
I could feel my heart breaking for little Daryl. To be lost for that long, especially as a child…how alone and scared he must’ve felt…how he wouldn’t have known what to do to survive and be trying to figure it out as he went, all while trying to get home...and to not even have anyone out looking for you…I knew he would never say it, but it had to be traumatizing. I felt terrible for insisting he share. I’d never felt like such a piece of shit before.
“Why ya look so sad?” Daryl said, looking over at me and seeing the somber expression on my face. There was a tear trying to escape my right eye, but I quickly blinked it back.
I softened the tone of my voice. “You were a child, Daryl. That’s awful. No kid should have to endure that. I’m so sorry.” I wanted to throw myself over the center console and wrap him in my arms and give him a giant hug, but I restrained myself. “I feel like such a piece of shit for pushing you to share, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”
“’S’alright. Ya didn’t know,” he replied. Something in him looked different, but I couldn’t explain what it was. He seemed more relaxed overall. Maybe no one had shown him that kind of empathy before. Maybe he’d wanted to get that off his chest & he felt relieved. Maybe he was nervous about how I’d react. There was no way for me to tell. That handsome, stoic face of his made it so hard to tell how he was feeling. However, that stoic expression was quickly replaced with a devious little smirk. “Ya can make it up to me by tellin’ a couple stories of your own.”
I raised my eyebrows at him in surprise. “Like more than one? You drive a hard bargain. I gotta think about this.”
“How many ya got?”
“There’s three that come to mind, but you’re only getting two.”
“Why not all of ‘em? Feels fair,” he teased.
"No, if I tell you the worst story, I'll have to throw myself out of this car,” I explained, “it’s bad.”
“If ya tell the worst one, ya only gotta tell one.” I huffed and twirled a chunk of my ponytail around my finger.
“Fine. But I’m warning you, it’s gross.” I took a deep breath and tried not to immediately start gagging at the thought of the story I was about to tell. “So when I was probably 21 or 22, I went on a first date with this guy I met in one of my classes. We met up at this random off-campus restaurant, and I made the terrible mistake of getting spaghetti. Well at one point, he’s telling a story, and I have food in my mouth.” I stopped and covered my mouth as I gagged. “So he’s telling his story, and I sneeze…and I wish I was making this up, but one of the pieces of spaghetti came up through and out my nose…I was trying not to throw up the whole time I was pulling it out. He immediately got up and left. Like didn’t say a single word, just left. I haven’t been able to look at spaghetti since. Even the sight of a box of spaghetti makes me wanna vomit.”
He didn’t say anything at first, but I could tell he was fighting back laughter. All that came out was a small, adorable chuckle. “That’s so much worse than I thought it’d be.”
“Worse? Alright, time to throw myself out of the car,” I said, pretending like I was going to unbuckle my seatbelt. “I never share that story. If we weren’t friends before, we definitely are now. And I think it goes without saying that you’re sworn to secrecy with that story. Are we even now?”
“Yeah. We’re even now,” he replied.
We continued chatting for the short remainder of the ride to this medical center, but I couldn’t stop thinking about how terrible I felt for what felt like forcing Daryl to share such a sad story. I was worried it would have an impact on our interactions when we got back to Alexandria, worried that maybe he hated me now or would never speak to me again once we got back inside the walls. But I felt worse about bringing up what was likely painful memories for him. He seemed alright, and he said we were even, but I wondered if there was another way I could make it up to him.
We turned down one more road, and there was a decently-sized brick building just down the street from the corner. As Daryl pulled into the lot, I read the promising large letters across the top of the building—orthopedic surgery. It wasn’t orthotics and prosthetics, but it was about as close as we were gonna get.
“Ortho surg,” I said as Daryl put the car in park, “nice.”
“That good?” he asked. I grabbed my backpack and put it in my lap, shoving my water bottle back inside.
“It’s potentially promising. If push comes to shove, maybe there’ll be a walker we can steal one off of.” He unbuckled and started to get out of the car, but I reached my hand out and lightly grazed his forearm with the tips of my fingers. “Daryl…are you ok?”
“Yeah,” he said as he turned back to me, clearly confused, “why?”
“Just…the story you shared earlier. I know better than to push people like that, and that was very not cool of me. I’m really sorry if it brought up painful memories for you.”
“Like I said, ya don’t gotta apologize. Ya didn’t know. But thanks,” he said, “apology accepted. Plus, I had ya cryin’ in the store earlier talkin’ ‘bout Eli. We’re good.”
“Oh my god, are we bonding?” I gushed playfully.
“Shut up,” he joked, turning and getting out of the car. I took some things out of my backpack and tossed them into the backseat to make room for anything we might find inside. I brought my spear out and unsheathed it as I got out of the car and followed Daryl inside.
Clearing the office out was easy enough. There were several more walkers than there had been at the other places we’d been to, but it was manageable between the two of us. I walked around to what looked like the front desk area to try to find a directory or anything that could indicate if they had prosthetics, and if so, where they might be stored.
“If you see anything that says orthotics or prosthetics, lemme know,” I said, setting my spear down on the front desk. I started flipping through a binder of random papers while Daryl started checking some of the rooms. There were a few that had keypads on them, which likely meant that there was supplies in there with a code for staff to use. Even if we had the codes, there was no power, so we’d have to manually find a way to break the doors down.
“Find a paperclip or somethin’,” Daryl called out to me from down the hall, “we can try to pick the locks.” The binder I was looking through didn’t seem to be useful, so I started searching drawers for office supplies. I pushed my sleeves up to my elbows. It was starting to get warm, and I was regretting wearing a jacket without a shirt underneath. One of the drawers had a small box of paper clips in it. Score.
“Got it!” I yelled. I grabbed my spear and jumped back over the desk, scuttling down the hall to meet Daryl. I took a larger clip out of the box and handed it to him. Our fingers briefly touched again, and there was that same electric feeling from this morning when our fingers touched as he handed me my coffee. The same electric feeling from when my fingers grazed his forearm in the car before we came inside.
He slung his crossbow across his back and straightened out the paperclip. Getting down on one knee, he started trying to pick the lock, and I went back to try to find something that would tell us what was in these closets. I could hear him fiddling around with the lock, and eventually, a click echoed through the silence of the office.
“Got it,” he said, and I could hear him cautiously pushing the door open.
“Lockpicking just increased to 30,” I whispered to myself as I went down the hall to meet him.
This particular storage closet had mostly been cleared out. It looked like it was used to store gowns, paper for the beds, gloves, masks, braces, and probably some first aid stuff. There was a box of gloves and some braces, so I went over and put those into my backpack.
“Damn it,” I huffed, “alright, let’s try another one. I’ll keep trying to find a map of this place or something.”
I rummaged around the front desk more before finding a paper map that had been thrown in a trash can. I pulled it out and held it up so it matched the direction I was facing. It looked like a poorly scanned paper copy of another poorly scanned paper copy, so the text that was legible enough was tiny and barely legible. I could make out “pros” on one of the square spaces.
“Daryl, I think I found it.” I was already walking back towards him when I yelled out, looking down at the map at the tiny print as I walked, and I bumped right into him. He was standing in front of another closet door, which he had already picked open.
“So did I,” he said, stepping into the room.
Looking around, there were shelves of different types of prosthetics, including feet, hands, partial arms, full arms, etc. I figured they were likely used for fittings so a prescription could be submitted for the right size and type, but there were options, which is what we needed.
"Geez. Someone with a foot fetish would have a hay day in here,” I joked, “try to find different sizes. One of them is bound to fit. Oh, Aaron’s gonna be so excited when I show him.” My face was lit up. I felt like I was getting to do something similar to my type of specialty again. I got down on the ground and grabbed a couple of prosthetic feet, placing them into my bag. There was just enough room for both of them. I grabbed a third and held it in my hands, flipping it around and daydreaming about my days in the ER.
“Ya okay?” Daryl asked me, squatting down next to me. He had grabbed a few prosthetics and put them in his bag as well, carrying a couple more under his arm.
“I just miss my job is all,” I said, continuing to flip the fake foot around in my hand as I talked, “I sat with people on what was usually the scariest day of their entire life. Sat with them while they died. Yeah, it was intense. But I think it’s what I was meant to do. It was fulfilling. It gave me purpose.” A single tear escaped my eye, and I quickly wiped it away with the back of my hand. “Sorry, I don’t mean to get all cheesy and shit.”
“Your patients were lucky to have ya,” he said. I could see in my peripheral vision that he was staring at my scars as I fiddled around with the prosthetic. I pulled my sleeves back down to cover the thick bands of scar tissue.
“That means a lot. Thank you.” I wiped another tear away with the back of my hand, laughing a little. “God, you’re gonna make me cry again.”
“C’mon. Might as well clear the place out. Still got upstairs to do,” Daryl said, lifting himself back to his feet.
We made several trips in and out, carrying out all of the prosthetics we could. It would be good to have these in the infirmary in case I had to perform another amputation. After that, we went upstairs. The second floor contained a blood draw station and an X-ray lab.
“Blood draw might have some stuff,” I said, going behind their front desk, “don’t reach into any sharps containers though.”
There were some more boxes of gloves and masks, rubber bands for putting on people’s arms to take samples, needles, and alcohol pads. I found an empty sharps container to put the needles in and carried out what I could in my arms.
“Good luck charm strikes again,” Daryl joked. He grabbed some of the boxes of gloves and followed me back downstairs.
After we loaded the car and got back in, I laid back in my seat and stared up at the ceiling, feeling exhausted from all the hard work we’d put in. I was sweating buckets, and I felt disgusting.
“We crushed it,” I said, holding my hand up for a high-five, which Daryl returned, “teamwork makes the dream work.” I turned my head towards him. “Thanks for bringing me here so I could get a prosthetic for Aaron. He won’t need it for a while, but I’m gonna have to stop myself from telling him in the meantime. I wanna make it a surprise.”
“Welcome,” he said as he backed us out of the lot and onto the road back to Alexandria, “what else ya gotta do today?”
“Uh, well I’m starving, so I guess start with that. Rosita said she wanted to see me, and I need to reorganize the infirmary now that we have all of this to sort through. What about you?”
“Don’t got watch ’til later. Do what you gotta do, I can make us food.” I smiled and turned my head back up towards the ceiling.
“Thanks Daryl.”
He was such a sweetie. And I was falling very hard, very fast, with no idea where I was going to land.
Taglist: @raddydaddydude
#daryl dixon#daryl dixon x oc#the walking dead#daryl dixon fanfiction#twd daryl#twd#twduniverse#twdfanfic#twd fanfic#twd fanfiction#twd universe#eventual romance#slow burn#slow romance#when i say slow burn i mean slow#thewalkingdeadfanfiction#the walking dead fanfiction#the walking dead daryl dixon
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*rollerblades into your blog carrying two starbucks* so i heard you had thoughts about a rotbtd pjo au? 👀
Okay, buckle up my friends because this is going to be a very confusing, unnecessary, and bizarre trip.
Imagine this. Act I of a hypotetical RotBTD (and more!) PJO!AU.
You know how halfbloods have prophetic dreams or dreams about their past? One day, these dreams get out of control. Demigods at Camp Half-Blood keep having nightmares that sometimes become true, sometimes don't. Of course everyone is freaking out
Because a halfblood's life is never easy, Morpheus/Sandman, the god of dreams who could possibly help them with the problem, disappears
This is where our heroes, Merida, Jack, Rapunzel and Hiccup, get involved: they are assigned a quest to find him and a nice personalized prophecy which mentions The Big Four demigods who will defeat evil (yes I am that subtle)
(I'm still figuring out their backgrounds, so I can't give more details about the Four, sorryyy)
During their journey, we find out that behind the nightmare apocalypse there are Phobos and Deimos (Pitch Black and maybe Drago?), minor gods who want to make the halfbloods powerless so they can't fight for/with their parents anymore
Yadda yadda, character development happens, the four become besties, they beat the bad guys, no more nightmares, you know the drill. The gods even start claiming basically everyone who wasn't, minor gods included. And they lived happily ever after-
EXCEPT. The four (now officially nicknamed The Big Four) are the only people who heard the full prophecy, and they know that the last lines still haven't come true. Cue dramatic cliffhanger
Act II!
Camp Half-Blood is going through a great period: there have never been so many kids and even if the gods don't talk to them that much (they must be very busy, right?), many heroic quests are being received (wow, who knew that the gods owned this many neat weapons and useful items we have to retrieve)
I won't repeat myself, I explained Red Shoes' arc here, just keep in mind that it roughly follows the movie plot
What I didn't mention is that Snow White finds the infamous golden apple the morning she's supposed to begin her quest and meet the F7. Is it a good luck charm from her mother? A trap? A prank? Near the climax she realizes what it actually means, while still searching for her father:
You see, only someone close to Aphrodite, a goddess, could secretly take it, someone like a god
Since gods can't directly intervene in their children's battles, that means that someone is trying to help them... Or warn them
It isn't about the myth, but its name. Apple of Discord (or is it Apple of Strife? Like, the official name, if someone knows please tell me). This person is sending a message: a war between the twelve olympians and the minor deities is going to break out if nothing is done about it
Yeah, turns out that Phobos and Deimos inspired other minor gods to rebel as well
That's why many new halfbloods were claimed, why they were assigned more quests than ever, to get weapons for their parents, to reinforce an army for both sides
Minor gods are tired of being left out and ignored, so are some of their children. Take Hans (from Frozen, not, you know Red Shoes'l), still un-claimed after years. Or Elsa and Jack, born from Boreas. Kubo, son of Nemesis. Agatha, ghost daughter of Hecate who found peace after Hades' son Norman confronted her. Regina (Snow White's stepmother), another daughter of Hecate:
Everytime something bad has happened, a minor god or their kid were involved
What happens next... is still work-in-progress. I have some more thinking to do 😅 I want to have Chaos involved in Act III somehow? Maybe he's the mastermind behind everything, and he was the one who influenced the gods to revolt, with his..... chaotic nature
And sorry for the late reply! I kept adding details to the list and it kinda got out of control
#text#long post#rotbtd#red shoes and the seven dwarfs#pjo!au#camp halfblood au#hope this wasn't too confusing lol#im getting more and more invested#ohlooksheswritingwips#asks
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card swiped (4)
→ jeon jungkook x (f) reader
→ “I’ve known Jungkook was a virgin since he first tried to tell me he wasn’t,” you tell him, arms crossed over your chest. “I’m pretty sure everyone knows.” GENRE romance (romcom?), eventual smut, teensy angst WARNING mentions of a hand job, talk of virginity OTHER college crushes, volleyball player!jk, student council president!oc, idiots to lovers, besties to lovers, childhood friends au RATING m (18+) bc brief sex ment WC 1.6k
NOTES (!) sorry for taking so long to update </3 school be kicking my ass. anyway here they are! an idiot couple. lmk what u think!!
[ masterlist ]
In the past, whenever something had bothered you, the first person you ran to was Jungkook. Low grades, fights with your parents, boy drama— as your best friend and number one confidant, Jungkook was always your first choice. He was always willing to lend you a shoulder to cry on, even if that meant staining his white t-shirts with streaks of your mascara. He was always ready to go beat up a mean boy who had hurt your feelings during lunch, even if he’d miss his favorite special. And he was always down for some good old fashion i hate my parents ranting, even if he adored your parents. He was a great listener, an even better best friend, and had rightfully won you over from a very young age.
That being said, how were you supposed to talk to Jungkook about something that bothered you when that something was him?
You could easily tell any of your numerous girl friends, those of which would probably understand your predicament better than Jungkook or any man ever could. But after years of vehemently denying any notion of a romantic relationship between the two of you, you get the feeling your call for help will be met with more unimpressed glares than actual assistance. Besides, as much as you bring up Jungkook, none of them really know Jungkook to truly offer you any worthwhile advice.
Your next option: Kim Taehyung. Now, Kim Taehyung held a similar background as Jungkook (translation: he also went to the same high school as you). He knows both you and Jungkook—frankly, more than you’d like him to—so he would be able to dissect the issue easily and offer trustworthy advice. The problem with Kim Taehyung, however, is that aside from knowing you at your embarrassingly dorky teenage prime, he doesn’t know how to keep a secret. Anything he knows, Jungkook knows. So if you were to, hypothetically, ask Taehyung for advice on Jungkook, well. Chances are, you’d probably get a rather confused text from Jungkook two minutes later.
Which leaves you with one option— Park Jimin. There’s a reason Park Jimin isn’t your first option, and that reason presents itself now as you glare at him from across the empty room. For as long as you’ve been in university, Jimin has always lingered around the student council meetings, giving everyone he sees the prettiest, meanest stink-eye. You suspect it’s because he waits around for Min Yoongi, your Vice President (which isn’t an issue; Jungkook also frequents student council meetings while waiting for you), and doesn’t really care for anyone else. Your problem with Jimin doesn’t lie there but rather with the fact he’s adamant on taking up space and not lending so much as a finger to help.
Today he is sitting with his feet on the table, dirty volleyball bag tossed on the floor. He’s watched you for the last fifteen minutes wrestle with the broken copy machine and hasn’t said a word since. He pretends he doesn’t see you struggling, because if he does, he’d be obligated to help you.
To summarize, Park Jimin may be the fastest libero your university’s volleyball team has seen in years, but he’s a good-for-nothing bum everywhere else.
And despite all that, he’s your best choice. There’s no one quite as blunt and honest as Park Jimin. There’s no one in this world who truly doesn’t care enough about anyone’s problems to gossip about them as Park Jimin. You plop down beside him, rumpled papers in hand. Without warning, you jump straight into it. “Jungkook is going to take my virginity,” you announce, like it’s the most casual thing in the world. If any of your fellow student council members heard you, you’re certain you’d shrivel up and die.
Jimin hums. “That’s nice.” His eyes don’t leave his phone, thumb hovering over his screen. It’s a testament to how much he truly does not care. His extended silence plants a seed of doubt in you— was this the right person to tell? you begin to worry. But after a beat, Jimin’s thumb taps against his screen and he says, “Jungkook is a virgin.”
You clench your jaw. “I know.”
The thing about Jimin is, with the right wording, you can get him interested in something. Not interested enough to genuinely care, but interested enough to at least listen and offer his own piece of straightforward advice. His thumb comes to a standstill over his phone, eyes momentarily going blank. It’s a minute gesture, one that’s taken you four years of paying attention to catch. Just as quickly as it appears, it’s gone. “Really,” Jimin sighs, back to, you now realize, playing CandyCrush on his phone. “You’re gonna let a virgin take your virginity.”
Not a question, but you nod anyway. “Yup.”
There’s sweat building on the back of your neck, nerves at an all time high, but you’re trying to play it off. Just a little bit more and you know you’ll have caught him. Beside you, Jimin’s jaw twitches.
Finally, after what seems like an eternity of trying to act calm, Jimin clicks his phone off and turns to you. He’s as intimidating as ever, ash blonde hair pushed back today to reveal his forehead and dark eyes. “You’ve known Jungkook was a virgin this whole time?” he asks, has this calculating look in his eyes that makes you feel like you’re being questioned by an officer of the law and not the shortest person on the volleyball team.
With a practiced air of nonchalance, you shrug. “I have,” you confess, and it’s the truth.
While you may have been initially fooled that night two years ago, you weren’t that oblivious. Oh, you knew clear as day that Jeon Jungkook was still a virgin, just as well as you knew that he religiously washed his sheets every weekend or that he had a specific color coded system for his underwear drawer. Jungkook was a fool to try and lie to you, not only because you had found out, but because you had found out that very next morning.
It had been subtle. The night at the party, you had watched on with a throbbing heartache as some pretty girl led Jungkook up a set of stairs, had barely fought off a wave of emotion when he returned twenty minutes later, his hair a rumpled mess. “Did you… ?” you had mumbled, pressed closely against him by the back door. Your eyes had been glassy, from your emotions and from the drunken stupor you had gotten yourself into while he was away, wondering what he was doing. A sense of jealousy you would never admit to had curled around your heart. His hand had landed on your hip then. He smelled like flowers and vanilla, a smell unlike his own. Your heart clenched, hand mindlessly reaching up to cup his jaw, so drunk and heartbroken, you couldn’t stop yourself from trailing your fingers along his pretty cheekbones.
Jungkook had graced you with a simple nod, and then, “do you wanna leave now?”
You’d left, stumbling down Greek road on your way back to his dorm. Jungkook had held your hand the whole way, tucked you into his twin bed, and then promptly knocked out on the floor between his and Taehyung’s beds. The latter was nowhere to be found, wouldn’t appear until the next morning when he’d accidentally step on Jungkook’s ankle and wake both of you up.
Jungkook had yelped, and your eyes had fluttered open. You remember debating rolling over, checking on him like you wanted to, but Taehyung was already there doing just that. So you had laid still instead, listened as the two boys clattered around the room. They chatted mindlessly, about the party and tomorrow’s practice. Taehyung had been bragging about some girl he’d slept with last night. “What about you?” he had asked, and your breath caught in your throat. “Did you and…”—a pause, the distinct ruffle of fabric—“finally?”
“What— no,” Jungkook had said, and you felt the bed dip as he sat down on the edge beside you.
Taehyung pushed on with a snort. “Well, did you get lucky at all?”
Jungkook groaned, placed one warm hand on your back soothingly. You tried your best to level out your breathing, relaxed your facial expression as you clung to the sound of his voice. “Just a handjob. Some girl I didn’t even know. Does that count?” You could hear your heartbeat in your ears, felt it beneath your fingertips when you fisted the sheets.
And that curt admission sat in the back of your mind everyday for two years.
You turn to Jimin. “I’ve known Jungkook was a virgin since he first tried to tell me he wasn’t,” you tell him, arms crossed over your chest. “I’m pretty sure everyone knows.”
Jimin lets out a low whistle. “You’re smarter than I thought,” he grins, this conniving little smile that is a genuine cause for concern. “So you’re letting him think you don’t know?” You nod. Jimin’s smile grows. “My, my. If I had known you were this evil, maybe we would’ve hung out more.”
You roll your eyes. “I’m not evil,” you insist, flicking him on the nose. Jimin huffs indignantly. “I think what he’s doing is sweet…” you confess, feel your entire body heat up as you recall that wide-eyed look Jungkook had given you just yesterday afternoon, your kiss print fresh on his cheek. “And, well,” you look down at your shoes. “I used to dream about him being my first.”
Jimin groans. “You two make me sick.”
Copyright © 2021, 1kook on tumblr. absolutely NO reposts allowed.
#networkbangtan#kwritersworldnet#jungkook smut#jungkook fic#jungkook#bts jungkook#jungkook x reader#jungkook x reader smut#jeon jungkook x reader#jeon jungkook x reader smut#bts fic#bts smut#bts#jeon jungkook#jeon jeongguk#jjk#mine
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