thecreaturesofkevinkunes-blog
The Creatures of Kevin Kunes
21 posts
Animals that do not exist inspired by science that does.
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This bird is flightless and feeds mostly on small animals using their long beaks like tweezers. To avoid competing for food, their diet consists of extremely toxic insects and amphibians known for being chemically volatile. To help digest the poisons and aid the adsorption, the long beak is poked into the ground to dig out and consume clay. (charcoal snail things). The poisonous diet also ensures only the largest of predators try to ingest the bird.
The wing feathers have Shafts, barbs, and barbules that are composed of smooth concentric hollow cylinders like fiber optic cable.
The skin beneath the feathers consists of 3 layers of transparent film. Some of the toxins go into a designated layer to decompose, producing distinct colors. If deprived of a certain part of their diet, they will not be able to produce the corresponding color, meaning a full range of color represents a healthy mate. Minute muscle movement makes individual cells in the transparent skin expand or contract like chromatophors, creating dazzling mating displays.
Most feathers are long and rout out to the interior of the wing. Both sexes occasionally unfurl their wings and display images for seemingly no reason at all. The images are either in mimicry or from memory of what the bird has seen. Sometimes it will mix memories together betraying something like imagination.
Eyes contain unusually large pecten oculi, presumably to reduce the number of blood vessels  obstructing vision. Eyelids are transparent and seldom open all the way up.
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Audio description of the snake mouthed sloth
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his gigantic mammal has an extremely low metabolism, moving only a few times a month to eat or mate. In addition to think fur, their hides contain ostioderms making them very tough. The thick fur is rich in nitrate and clumps together trapping lots of dirt and soil. This makes great soil for plants who need nitrogen but can't get it from the molecular nitrogen in the air. The result is this animal is almost always completely covered in foliage. The foliage, the fur, and the hard ostioderms in the skin all act as insulation. This, and the animal's body mass to surface area ratio means very little energy is spent regulating body temperature. Heart rate and breathing slow down tremendously to accommodate staying completely still for long periods of time. Unlike other sloths, they are strictly carnivorous as digesting Cellulose to synthesize proteins takes too much energy. When large prey gets too close it falls upon it and crushes it with its large body. Rather than chewing, the colossal animal uses three claws on each hand to briefly shred the animal to increase the surface area of its food. The meal is then swallowed whole and digested over several weeks. This slow digestion is very efficient and produces surprisingly little waste. It is not uncommon for this creature to eat meals much bigger than it's mouth. For this reason, the jaw can unhinge to swallow bigger meals and a specialized rib cage without a sternum can move out of the way of a large meal.
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Audio description of the Petri Vulture
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These scavengers have no eyes and must rely on smell and sound to locate food. For this reason the nostrils and ears are spaced far apart to better pinpoint to better Pinpoint location. In order to have ears and nostrils as far apart as possible, the heads and shovel-like beaks are very large.
Their bodies naturally produce agar, and the diseases acquired from eating carrion thrive in their body. Since various diseases cause the feathers to fall out, they are designed to fly with very few feathers. As both the digestion and the immune system of this bird are highly corrosive, their pain receptors are extrodinarilly blunted.
The loud cries, poor flight, and fragile bulbous heads make them easy prey themselves. They are so disease-ridden however, nothing tries to eat them or their eggs.
Eggs are laid by the Dozen in hopes that two or three of them hatch healthy enough to survive. Adults too sick or damaged to scavenge look after the eggs and the young of other birds. This exposes the young to useful second hand antibodies.
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Audio description of the cleaner moth
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This flying invertebrate has a symbiotic relationship with most the local wildlife in habitats. It behaves as a cleaner, dislodging parasites and debris from the hides and even the mouths of many species. Has six appendages around the mouth for gripping and six powerful wings. The wings can vibrate very fast and very consistently when not used for flying. It dislodges material and directs an animals movement by vibrating at various resonance frequencies. The newborns are too small to generate controlled flight. They cling onto the brightly colored patterns on the older members of the species. It is thought that this time is spent observing and learning. Eggs are buried in the dirt. During development the body grow separate for most of the brain. The body in the brain establish communication via radio waves and the brain directs the body to hatch. The body got theirs to loss sending sensory input to the brain. The external brain  process of the information and sends basic commands the body. The body then brings most of the food together to the brain via to poking up from the ground. Eggs are buried, protected, and sometimes fed by older specimen. No apparent hive structure is present, but they deliberately coordinate the frequencies on which they operate to avoid confusion. Very intelligent. High problem solving and critical thinking potential. Thought to communicate visually using the bright wing patterns, but also responsive to some basic audible commands. If the body flies too far away or has communication interrupted with the brain, it will panic and desperately try to fly back. The brain is mostly underground covered in a calcium carbonate shell, but if attacked it will send a distress signal to all nearby members of its species. If the bodies die a brain can regrow a body with the exact same wing pattern. While the new body needs to mature again, memories are returning by the external brain.
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Audio Description of the punch weed
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Gnocticus Rhynchobdellida Reduviidae or Punch Weeds
These creatures are vampiric with two mouths each equipped with a sharp proboscis tongue. Three sharp talons around the mouth and on fertile after digging into another animal with a quick a job. While reflexes are incredibly fast, it is unable to move quickly unless acting on a reflex. This is thought to be the cause of a modular nervous system controls motor function. It will occasionally use these times has fingers and cover itself in debris. This is done as camouflage, protection, or even communication. They will use any material nearby, but the older ones prefer hard of material like roots, rocks, and bones. Only capable of a very slow waddling movement unless moving reflexively. The long spines are used as whiskers or antenna in addition to modest locomotion. These fines are very sensitive but grow back easily. The eyes are compound eyes and see very well in the dark. Each of the three main eyes are capable of focusing on different things. This advanced eyesight in tandem with the sensory spines compensate for its lack of hearing and smell. Aside from a pair of powerful arms, the body seems to be made up of dense, hardened, and unused brain tissue. Young are cared for only until they gather enough debris to cover the visible flesh tissue.
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Audio description of the cloud squid
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Todarodes Cumulous or Cloud Squid
This enormous herbivore stays afloat by heating the air  inside its mantle. Air flows out of a very small hole at the top and a larger opening at the bottom when ascending to compensate for the decrease in air density. Strict herbivores though it may swallow tree top animals on accident when eating trees. Spends most of its time in the upper edge of the ozone layer warming itself and breathing huge gulps of air.
There are four branchial hearts next to the air-pockets used to float. These hearts help circulate the air inside via carcinogenic flow.
It descends only to eat and mate. Eggs are beach ball sized and are laid in pods by the thousands. newborns are very weak and have trouble with buoyancy at high altitudes. Very few survive to adulthood. If they can avoid predators long enough they can build up the strength necessary to float to the surface of the stratosphere.
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Audio description of the sage light sponge. 
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This treetop mammal has two long arms built for swinging and a long proboscus - like trunk for reaching leaves. It has a very high metabolism and must eat twice it's weight in leaves every day. As a defense mechinism, it's fur can temporarily slow down light waves that bounce off of it. The result is that it seems to disappear leaving a blurry black void in its place that most brains try to make sense of by subconsciously filling in information taken from the surrounding environment. When fleeing, this light delay is thought to be produced by shedding some of it's fur. The fur is thought to behave similar to a metamaterial and float in the air like a fine powder until it released the light absorbed. The creature's own eyes are very poor especially in terms of depth perception. The body is soft and pudgy to compensate running into things at high speeds while swinging. Disregarding some vestigial leg bones, this creature only has two long arms. These arms have a synovial ball and socket joint at the elbow rather than a synovial hinge joint for maximum flexibility.
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Corrosive dwarf Bipes or Hive Pebbles
These cave dwelling bipeds subsist off of iron potassium and sulfur found in rocks. This digestion occurs with the help of an internal lithotropic microbial ecosystem mostly featuring endoliths.
With the help of their protective structures these creatures are extremely resilient to high pressures, high temperatures, and high amounts of radiation. Their bodies protect the internal rock digesting bacteria from otherwise unsurvivable subterranean environments.
Each eye has 2 bioluminescent pupils. Eyesight is poor and the light is primarily to warn potential predators to stay away. Each foot has 3 bulbous toes designed for maximum traction on nearly flat surfaces.
A mildly toxic solution that quickly solidifies is a by product of digesting most rock. A long tongue spreads this solution to produce a hollow translucent purple structure on the creature's back. This structure grows until it is larger than the creature itself. the creature then lives inside it similar to a hermit crab.
These solidified adults huddle together in huge swarms to eat nutrient rich rock. In times of space food, swarms distribute food among st themselves. The hard work of scrapping the toxic shell against a wall to dissolve tougher rock is also distributed. To accomplish this, swarms constantly re arrange themselves much like penguins distributing warmth.
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River Bees
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These rather large bugs are amphibious with a set of gills on its backside. Their bodies are covered in tiny hairs to collect gametes from under water plants in a process similar to pollination. The wings make long flapping strokes through to water to swim and quick vibrations to fly through the air.
There are no stingers, but each has a curved shovel-like extremity. These extremities are used for digging nests for their brood and shaping long tubes from resin that they naturally produce.
Diet of small fish, algae and fresh water plants. When born the larva need to be defended and fed by the matured adults.
Once a year a colony of these insects will drain a lake or stream to create a safe underwater nest for their brood. This is done by forming tubes into a siphon. Air pressure forces the water deep into underground tunnels.
While usually independent and solitary creatures, they act in concert during mating season in the spring. The males to build and defend the tubing, and the females to dig the nest and nurse the larva.
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