#so many things on my list at this point though 😅

[imagineitdearies]

Hi! In chapter 26, at the beginning, Asatrion stays with Cazador. I was wondering about what happened then. I don't need details, I was just trying to figure out the logic behind Cazador's action. Was he trully just feeding and healing Astarion? Was this just emotional manipulation on his side? "Look what a merciful and gentle father I am" lol. And if the emotional manipulation is the case here, did Cazador do it often? (Sorry, for my English)

Hi anon 😊

Oof, another rough time for our poor Astarion. In PS, you may note there are times that Cazador behaves with "affection" or some degree of "softness" with Tyrus, so imagine this amplified with Astarion.

Because Cazador left before the torture began, he had an opportunity to take advantage of Astarion's vulnerability and act as a "caring, concerned" parent/partner (depending on his mood) in the aftermath. Essentially he hijacked Tyrus's role for his own sadistic joys: watch Astarion's prolonged suffering while he heals, manipulate his associations to include not just pain but (forced) comfort from Cazador, and watch Astarion grovel while he's extra vulnerable.

In this specific case, I imagined it as a way of Cazador saying "goodbye" to Astarion, showing his "love" even as he planned to sacrifice him. He probably talked more about the false promise to have his spawn ascend with him, cajoled and guilt-tripped Astarion to behave even better to earn it, etc.

Astarion leaves these sorts of encounters very unsettled, angry, but maybe a tad unsure after receiving the uncharacteristic "kindness." He's not stupid, but up until Tyrus arrived in his life, he didn't receive any other kind. And it always feels just a bit worse than usual the next time Cazador treats him terribly again.

(I'd say he walks away from it in ch26 much less manipulated than usual, though--he knows intimately what a kind touch and genuine care feels like, these days, and is happy to get away and return to the one who can truly comfort him.)

Thanks for the question!!

[larluce]

Arthur and Merlin travel back in time without knowing the other is from the future too AU

I'll be putting the tag list at the end now ❤️

LINKS TO THE OTHER PARTS OF THIS AU HERE: PART 1 , PART 2 , PART 3 , PART 4 , PART 5 , PART 6 , PART 7 , PART 8 , PART 9 , PART 10 , PART 11 , PART 12 , PART 13 , PART 14 , PART 15 , PART 16 , PART 17 , PART 18 , PART 19 , PART 20 , PART 21 , PART 22 , PART 23 , PART 24 , PART 25 , PART 26

Merlin: (thinking, reciting Gaius words) Deny, be submissive, be respectful. Deny, be submissive, be respectful (enters the throne room and bows) Did you call for me, Sire?

Uther: (siting on his throne, pulls out the neckerchief and asks very serious) Do you recognise this.

Merlin: (thinking) Straight to the point then... (pretends to analyse the item and then says) No, I don't believe so, Sire.

Uther: Are you sure?

Merlin: Pretty sure. I've never seen it in my life.

Uther: (puts the clothing back in his pocket) This clothing is part of a serious investigation, so I wanted to make sure.

Merlin: A investigation, Sire?

Uther: Early in the morning this clothing was found deep in the woods with dry blood stains. There were some blood stains on the ground nearby too.

Merlin: Oh... Well, good luck with your investigation then, Sire. 😅 (smiles nervous, thinking) Deny, be submissive, be respectful. Deny, be submissive, be respectful.

Uther: And more recently the bodies of Aulfric and Sophia Tirmawr were found.

Merlin: (confused) What? 😨

Uther: They are sending the corpses to Gaius to analyse them as we speak.

Merlin: (between worried and confused, to himself) But... that's not possible. (thinking) Or is it?

Uther: And why would that not be possible? 🤨

Merlin: (thinking) Shit! (says, trying to stay calm) Because I saw them leave Camelot with Arthur, Sire. They should've been away long ago. Why would someone kill them? Are you… Are you sure it’s them, Sire? (thinking) Deny, be submissive, be respectful. Deny, be submissive, be respectful.

Uther: (thinking) I never said they were killed (says) They could've died in the way. Who knows? Robbers, landslides, wild beasts. There are many hidden dangers on a road trip.

Merlin: Exactly! Maybe even the raiders that sacked their home?

Uther: (laughs dryly) Incredible… you dare to lie to the King right in front of his face. You don't fear the consequences at all.

Merlin: Why would I fear that, Sire? (thinking) Deny, be submissive, be respectful. Deny, be submissive, be respectful.

Uther: Do not insult my intelligence, I'm not Arthur. If you had told me that the garment was yours but you didn't know how it'd got there, I would've believed you. That would've confirmed what Gaius told me about you. That you are a boy without guile and malice, because that is what an honest and pure-hearted person would have said. They would've told the truth even though that would've put them under suspicion because they would trust in their own innocence. But you did the opposite, you denied that this was yours, which shows that you are not only cunning but also calculating. I do not blame you for lying, any wise person would avoid having any connection with murder case's evidence. The thing is that only a person who is aware that a murder occurred would do so, because if Sophia and her father had really left as you say then you wouldn't have seen the need to lie.

Merlin: (thinking, between nervous an impressed)I always wondered how he managed to almost erradicate the entire magic user community, the dragons and almost all the dragonlords. Now I know, he's very fucking smart! Okay, Merlin, just stick to the plan. Deny, be submissive, be respectful. Deny, be submissive, be respectful.(says) Or maybe the neckerchief really is not mine, Sire.

Uther: (enraged, he hits the throne and stands up) Stop lying to your King! Stop thinking you're so clever and disrespecting me! (pulls out the neckerchief and walks to Merlin) I know for a fact that this neckerchief is yours. It’s the only thing I knew for sure before you entered this room. And before you spout any more lies from that vile and poisonous tongue of yours, I can also prove it. (stops infront of Merlin) The first thing I did upon receiving this neckerchief was to research this fabric. This color is something only royalty uses, but there are many royal families in Albion, so each royal family has a different embroidery pattern so they can differentiate their belongings from other royals, and this fabric! (raises the cloth in a fist) was made especially for the Pendragon royal family. This is something only I or my son could wear. It goes without saying that this does not belong to me or Arthur. And before you come up with another pathetic excuse to defend yourself, I'll tell you that each batch that the fabrics are dyed with is not only expensive, but limited. Only a certain amount of purple dye is made each year so only a few yards of fabric are dyed. That's why the yards of fabric my son and I received are all recorded. (takes out log book and opens it) In the last year I received 4 meters of fabric, Arthur 2 meters, of which he used to make a tunic and... guess what he did with the leftover? A neckerchief (closes book and puts it back in his pocket)

Merlin: ...

Uther: So what do you have to say for yourself now?

Merlin: (thinking) Deny, be submissive, be respectful. Deny, be submissive, be respectful. (says in the calmest voice he can) I don't know what you want me to say, Sire. It seems like you already decided I'm guilty.

Uther: (drops the neckerchief and lifts his sword at Merlin, threatening) Where are Aulfric and Sophia?

Merlin: (thinking) Deny, be submissive, be respectful! Deny, be submissive, be respectful! (says) Didn't you just say you found the bodies, Sire?

Uther: (raises his voice) Don't play dumb with me! You knew they weren't found! Where did you hide them?!

Merlin: I didn't kill them!

Uther: One more lie and I'll cut your throat! At first I thought you were just some peasant after some coins, but your ambition was way bigger, wasn't it?

Merlin: (thinking) Deny, be submissive, be respectful! Deny, be submissive, be respectful!

Uther: And, since Lady Sophia was getting in the way of your plans, you got rid of her! An innocent, lovely lady-

Merlin: Oh, please! She was anything but innocent.

Uther: (can't believe the audacity) What?

Merlin: (thinking) Fuck! Deny, be... how was it? (says) I mean, how do you know she was innocent, Sire? You are SO suspicious of me, and yet didn't bother to corroborate Aulfric's story was true at all! "We are from Tirmawr and our home was sacked by raiders, boo", really? Anybody could enter the castle claiming they're nobels like that! But sure, lets invite these outsiders we've never seen in our lifes. What do we have to be afraid of? It's not like we are someone important like royalty and recieve assesinations attemps on a daily basis! (composes himself)... Sire.

Uther: (lets out a small laugh of triumph) So that's the excuse you gave Arthur! That they were impostors that were trying to kill him, so that he would cover for you.

Merlin: No! I'm just saying they could've been-

Uther: If Sophia really wanted to kill the Prince of Camelot she would've waited til they were alone at their honeymoon. Yet she ran away, because YOU humiliated her! And do you really want me to believe Arthur wouldn't be able to defend himself of a defenseless young lady and an old man? Arthur, a trained knight!.

Merlin: (thinking, trying very hard no to explode) Submissive and respectful. Stay submissive and repectful (says, gritting his teeth) I'm just saying first impressions aren't always the right ones and it's not wise to understimate people even if they look harmless, Your Majesty.

Uther: Oh, I'm definitely not going to understimate you. (sheaths his sword) I heard what I needed to hear. You're days here in Camelot are over. You are going to go back to your stinky little village with nothing but what you're wearing and never return!

Merlin: (shouts, alarmed) What?! You can't do that! You can't separate me from Arthur!

Uther: (shouts back) I'm the king, so yes I can! And if you dare to cross the border you'll be executed immediately. I'm never letting you near my son again!

Merlin: (his face contorts with disbelief, anguish and anger, thinking) Deny-submi-respec-FUCK IT, FUCK IT ALL! (suddenly, he laughs and laughs and laughs, saying) You are so, SO funny!

Uther: (surprised at his reaction, but says very serious) I don't recall saying anything funny.

Merlin: (Stops laughing) Sorry, let me correct myself. You are SO SCARED it's funny.

Uther: ...What?

Merlin: You say you are so certain I killed Aulfric and Sophia, but instead of just arresting and execute me for murder, you had to lock up Arthur in the dungeons for what? To make this stupid test and then threaten to do stuff you can't actually do, because you know Arthur wouldn't allow it! The truth is, Uther Pendragon, you can't do ANYTHING to me. You can't HURT me.

Uther: (slaps Merlin, furious)

Meanwhile, with Arthur in the dungeons.

Arthur: (trying to force the door open) Come on. Come on!

Sir Innprudence: (from the celd beside) It's useless, Sire. We tried.

Sir Ewan: (from the celd in the other side) No, we didn't!

Sir Innprudence: Right, we didn't, because that's wrong.

Arthur: What are you doing here?

Sir Ewan: You sent us here, Sire.

Sir Innprudence: And it's being a nightmare! I miss my family and friends. I'm starting to forget their faces! 😭

Arthur: You've just been here for a day. 😒

Sir Innprudence: But you've been here for less than an hour and you're trying to escape, sire.

Sir Ewan: (scolds) Innprudence! 😠 (to Arthur) I'm sure that's not what you were really doing, Sire.😅

Arthur: No, that's exactly what I'm doing. My father is planning to do something to Merlin, I don't know what, but if he had to imprisoned me here to do it, it mustn't be good. I have to get out, now!

Sir Innprudence: Well, I have a little spoon here, Sire. Maybe we could use it to make a hole in the wall-

Arthur: That would take years!

Sir Ewan: I managed to make a stick with a little hook to try to grab the keys, but the guards that have them are too far.

Arthur: So it's pointless.

Sir Ewan: ...yeah.

Arthur: (exasperated, to the ceiling) Can't I have a useful knight for once? Just once!

Sir Ewan: I'm sorry, Sire.

Sir Innprudence: There isn't really much we can do. The King's will is above anyone else's.

Arthur: (to himself, whispering) The King... (calls out one of the guards) Hey, you! Come here! Your future King is talking to you!

Guard: (comes) Do you need something, Sire?

Arthur: I demand to be release this instant.

Guard: That's not possible, Sire. The King-

Arthur: Your King now.

Guard: ...Excuse me, Sire?

Arthur: My father won't be King forever. And, once he passes, I'll be your King. A King who will remember this very day when he was imprisoned against his will. And guess who is going to be the first to receive my rage?

Guard: ...

Arthur: However, if you help me out now. Rage will be replaced by gratitude that will come in the form of lands, money... or even status. More than enough for you and your family.

Guard: (tempted, but scared) Sire... please. I can't disobey the King. It's treason.

Arthur: What are you talking about? You didn't disobey the King. I got a hold of you and you fighted hard, but I'm a very skilled knight, so I managed to knock you out and that's when a took your keys and escaped.

Guard: ...

Arthur: So? The keys?

Guard: (pulling out the key, still doubtful) But... if the King finds out...

Arthur: (smiles, reassuring) He won't find out. I'll make it believable. (extends his hand) The keys.

Guard: (extends the hand with the keys)

Arthur: (pulls his arm instead and hits his head with the iron bars)

Guard: (falls to the floor, unconscious)

Arthur: I told I'd make it believable. (takes the keys and opens the cell) Thank you. (leaves running)

Sir Innprudence: Wait! Sire!

Sir Ewan: You forgot about us! Sire!

Sir Innprudence: ...

Sir Ewan:...

Sir Innprudence: Hey, I think your stick might work now. He left the keys there.

Back at the throne room.

Merlin: (brings a hand to his cheek, eyes wide in shock and offended)

Uther: (with barely contained fury and hatred) Until you finally showed your real face, scum. Who do you think you are to speak to me like that? You are nothing but a serving boy!

Merlin: I'm much more than that.

Uther: (red with fury) How dare you? (shouts) You are speaking to your King!

Merlin: (shouts back) You are NOT my King! Arthur is. And he will be a better and more worthy king that you ever were.

Uther: (about to slap him again)

Merlin: (stops Uther's hand by holding his wrist midway) I don't think so.

Uther: (even more red with fury) You! Little- (brings a hand to his chest suddenly in pain)

Merlin: (all his boldness gone) Sire?

Uther: (twitches and falls to the ground)

Merlin: (in panic) Sire! (kneels and starts checking him frantic, but there is no response and thinks) Oh, Gods! OH GODS! I killed him. I killed the King! No, no, no, no, no! This wasn't supposed to happen so soon! What have I done?! Am I mad? Why did I say all those things? I think I believed he was Uther's ghost for a second. Well, he is a ghost now... NO! He can't be dead! Arthur will be devasted! He can't be dead! Please, please, please, wake up!

Arthur: (opens the door with force and enters, frantic and worried) Merlin! (stares in shock at the scene before him)

Merlin: (looks up in panic and tears of desperation and guilt run down his eyes) Arthur, I-I don't what happened-I didn't-I didn't mean to. He was...and then I...I'm so sorry!

Arthur: (walks to Merlin in silence)

Merlin: (in more panic) I swear on my mother's life I didn't think this would happen. Arthur, please, belie-

Arthur: (kneels and hugs Merlin)

Merlin: ...

Arthur: (pulls away just enough so he looks at Merlin in the eye) Are you alright? He didn't do anything to you?

Merlin: (confused) Uhm... not really.

Arthur: (cups Merlin's face with one hand and hardens his features) He hit you.

Merlin: (getting out of his stupor) It's nothing. But, Arthur, your father! (points at Uther, alarmed)

Arthur: (gives Uther a glance in silence. Then stands up, pulling Merlin with him and calls out) Guards!

Guards: (enter)

Arthur: The King fainted. Bring the Court Physician inmediatly.

Guards: (worried) Yes, Sire (leave quickly)

Merlin: (thinking, a strange feeling in his guts) How... how is that the guards seemed more worried than Arthur himself?

...

Let's remeber this happened before the events of "To kill a King" and "La Morte d'Arthur", so no, Uther didn't die. But how did Merlin get away with insulting and almost killing the King? What did Arthur do? You can make your guesses in the comments ☺️

Tagging @aceauthorcatqueen , @fallenxjas , @smileytrinity ,@lucifertookmyshoe , @an-entity-i-think , @thecornerofbelu , @griffonskies , @odinjm , @cinnabon-sweetroll-tiramisu , @thelady-mary , @bennedict , @nightninjaboy , @st8-of-grace , @star-rie , @error-username-not-available , @dogberryrowan , @jamieweasley13 , @tansyuduri , @tercais , @robynnemrys , @evadne01 , @serasvictoria02 , @hairdryerducks , @hopeaha , @curiously-lazy , @ harriettesthings , @andrealux16 , @wacko-weirdo , @greatdonutenemy , @yougottobekittenme , @anxiousosaurus , @kinkforwings , @someweirdassnamee , @impracticalantlers , @miyriu , @hobipabo , @whitemaskcd

[verycharismaticdragon]

Can I ask your top 10 fav fics ever (from any fandom, if you don't mind)?

Also, just curious, is there a story behind your name "verycharismaticdragon "?

I'm not the best at remembering things past the hyperfix, so half of this will be SV, but I'll start at prev fandoms for variety.

Artificial Nocturne (Motorcity) - I've read this ages ago but I remember it rearranging my brain chemistry. And making me realize I had a scar kink.

An Abomination, Grand Cleric Elthina's Murderer and the Herald of Andraste walk into a Bar (Dragon Age) - it's probably abandoned but it's so good. Anders and Varric in this are so *incoherent gesturing*

intra-personal negotiation (Venom) - I don't understand why I didn't bookmark a single Venom fic even though I distinctly remember like 5 straight bangers, but thankfully I'm following this author at least ✊

deathbed (Qi Ye) - that time I was whining there were no first life JBY/ZZS fics and then! Anyway it's understandably melancholy it's also very pretty and exactly right as it should be.

the good rain knows when to fall (TYK) - you should be reading Bichen's entire discography fic collection I just remembered this one first. This one is lighthearted old foxes clowning! The author's angst and cannibalism are also top-notch 👌

Ok now to SVSSS.

Joyed to be Forlorn - THE binghe fic for me. inspired me to start digging into Luo Binghe's character in a way that resulted in Transmigrator Time Traveler, hopefully thats recommendation enough

continued - possibly THE best fic in scum villain fandom. the format alone... oh just read it, you'll see what I mean.

A Child Once - again, i could rec Tossawary's entire discography, but this one is my personal favorite. (if your fav character is SQH though, the one you want is pride is not the word I'm looking for. aka THE sqh fic.)

sweet tongues, sharp teeth - unfinished but raw enough to lodge itself in my brain despite that.

Tale Within A Tale - cute as fuck. made me kick my legs and giggle many times. ...and because once I started pulling up SV fics it was difficult to stop...

side effects (rated E) - part 2 in particular didnt have to go so hard for a fic where the premise is 'bingqiu with tentacles'

don't underestimate me (rated E) - "all for the sake of preserving biodiversity!" god shen yuan SO would be in this situation.

The Best Luo Binghe (rated E) - binggeyuan. shen yuan SO would be in this situation, take 2.

put me in, coach (rated M) - bingqiushang. so fucking funny okay i love it so much

from your knees (rated E) - bingjiu. they're so rancid in this one its perfect 🖤

...Damn, this really puts the difference between my non-hyperfix and hyperfix memory into perspective, huh 😅 i actually had to trim the sv list a bit 😅😅😅

Anyway, yeah, my username actually just references an rp session we had with friends quite a few years back. Where at a certain point my character was referenced as "a VERY charismatic dragon" after managing to turn the antagonist by impressing them (thanks to some VERY lucky dice rolls). And I was dissatisfied with my old username at the time, and thought it sounded funny and snappy enough, so - stars aligned and all that. I'm happy with it still! Probably because dragons are always cool ✌️

[bellaxgiornata]

Omg! Happy anniversary for tumblr 😅? I'm so happy you've enjoyed the experience and as a fan of your work I wanna say congratulations!

It's a bit of a silly ask, but how would matt or Michael react to a reader asking if at their future wedding they could have a 'wing' bearer? Like, all du k with a bow tie waddling down the aisle to hand over the rings? A bit silly but a cute idea. Could be taken seriously or not, just wanna know your ideas for it?

Thank you for reading this, hope the pregnancy is going okay!

Ahh thank you so much!! 💕 It's been just over a year that I've been on here so I'm treating it like an anniversary/follower celebration thing because I've never done one before. They always seem fun though and I love interacting with y'all! And yes, the pregnancy is going a little better this week than last week thankfully! I'm nearing the end finally, too!

And you know what? I don't mind silly asks. This actually prompted two different fun dialogues in my head immediately, so hopefully that answers your question! The first one immediately had me thinking of Matt and Reader from FFTD specifically, but the dialogue with Mikey wasn't for any specific Reader. As usual, everything is below the cut!

“What if we had a wing bearer at the wedding?” you asked, lowering your coffee mug to the table.

Matt's head tilted curiously to the side as he paused at the kitchen sink, the dish he was cleaning currently forgotten at the question. “You mean a ring bearer, sweetheart?” 

“No,” you said, shaking your head. “A wing bearer. Like a duck waddling down the aisle with our rings. Maybe wearing a cute little bow tie.”

Matt turned more towards you, both of his dark brows rising up onto his forehead. “You're not seriously suggesting that are you?” he asked. “Do you have any idea how unreliable a duck would most likely be? It'd probably fly away with the rings.” 

“Okay, yeah, maybe,” you agreed slowly. “But it would be adorable. And how many people can say they had a wing bearer at their wedding?”

“Or we could just, you know, ask your nephew,” Matt pointed out. “Like normal people. I'm pretty sure he'd happily dress up like a duck if you asked, anyway. And at least he wouldn't fly away with the rings.”

“I suppose,” you conceded. 

“And honestly, could you imagine if the duck started attacking guests because it was afraid?” Matt mused, returning to washing the plate in his hand. He chuckled lightly, shaking his head. “That'd be a disaster.”

“Well if that was the case,” you replied, picking your mug back up, “then I'd have to remind you of the promise you made to me on our first date. About protecting me from giant ducks.”

“Sweetheart,” Matt began, once more stopping mid-wash of the plate in his hands as he focused back on you from across the kitchen, “please tell me you're not over there actually considering paying to have a massive duck walk our rings down the aisle.”

When you didn't answer immediately, one of his brows quirked up onto his forehead. 

“It was just a thought,” you said in defeat. “But fine. You're right. I'll just ask Hudson instead. That makes more sense.”

“What're ya lookin’ at, love?” Michael asked, settling down onto the sofa beside you. He leaned over, eyes squinting at your phone. “And why does it involve ducks with bow ties?”

“Just working on wedding planning things,” you answered him off-handedly.

“But ducks?” Michael asked again. “What do ducks have to do with our wedding?”

“I don't know,” you said with a shrug, glancing up at him beside you. “I was on this site that had a bunch of wedding vendors listed and stumbled on something called a wing bearer. I was curious so I looked.”

“And what is it?” he asked.

“A trained duck who walks your rings down the aisle,” you answered.

Michael stared at you in silence for a moment before roughly shaking his head. “That's ridiculous,” he muttered. 

“I'm not making it up,” you countered.

“Well I'm tellin’ ya now, pet,” Michael told you, “there's not goin’ to be ducks at the wedding.”

Your eyes narrowed curiously back at him as he settled into the cushions. He somehow appeared to have grown tense now, a note of finality in his tone.

“What about–”

“No ducks,” he stated firmly. “I don't like 'em.”

Lowering your phone to your lap, you eyed him suspiciously. Out of all the time you'd known Michael, you'd never seen him shut a lighthearted conversation down so fast. 

“I feel like there's a story here,” you said slowly.

“No, there's not,” Michael answered, shaking his head again.

“Oh come on,” you pressed, reaching a hand out and lightly squeezing his shoulder. “It's me. You can tell me anything, Mikey.”

Michael shifted, looking at you sitting beside him. His lips were drawn into a straight, unamused line as he studied you for a moment. Then eventually he blew out a rough breath, shoulders sagging. 

“Fine,” he relented. “Back when I was younger I was pissed off my ass and stumbled onto a duck's nest once. She wasn' thrilled and the encounter was…rather unpleasant. Left me with a bruise on my face. Told Jimmy I'd gotten into a fight at the pub. Now I avoid ducks.”

You bit your lip, attempting to fight back an amused laugh as you nodded and tried to shoot him a sympathetic look. But Michael saw right through you, immediately rolling his eyes and shaking his head.

“Forget I said anythin’, pet,” he muttered.

“No, no,” you reassured him, still fighting back a laugh as you patted his shoulder. “I won't invite any ducks to the wedding. I promise.” Clearing your throat, you couldn't help but add, “I couldn't possibly risk starting a war between a Kinsella and one of their known enemies. And on our wedding day, no less.”

Michael shot you a flat, unamused look which had you breaking at the sight. Throwing a hand over your mouth, you tried to quiet the laugh that slipped out. 

“Hilarious, love,” Michael deadpanned. “I expect ya not to tell anyone ‘bout this, ya know.”

“Of course,” you said behind your hand, still trying to fight down the laugh. “Your secrets are always safe with me, Mikey.”

He rolled his eyes again, but when you saw him crack a grin, you finally loosed the laugh you'd been holding back.

[missgryffin]

mystery wip snippet

because I can't help myself 😅 and just want to scream about this fic!

She rolls her eyes, quill poised in the midst of whatever list she’s writing. “Ah, yes, because I look like a lion and eat men who say the wrong thing.” 

“I mean, in fairness, I think it’s more to do with the fact that you can solve cases no one else can—” 

“I always have enjoyed puzzles,” she mutters, still focused on her notes. 

“—but having been on the receiving end of your wand many times during our teen years—” 

“Oh, for Godric’s sake—” 

“—I understand their fear of being eaten, is all I’m saying.” 

She spares him a glare through her eyelashes, and James points at her with his fork. “See? That right there. That’s a predator’s look.” 

Her voice drips with sarcasm as she retorts, “Well, you’re obviously not afraid of saying the wrong thing.” 

“No,” he agrees, picking up another bite of mash on his fork. “I’m a predator, too, Evans.” 

“Oh?” There’s a hint of a smirk at her mouth. “I wasn’t aware you’d changed species, Potter, pray tell.”

James gives her a playfully dark look of his own. “Har har.” 

“And here I’ve thought you were a Fwooper this whole time,” she chides. “Hair sticking up. Causing insanity.”  

His hand jumps up to run through his hair before he can help it, a subconscious impulse that makes her smirk even as he rolls his eyes.

“I mean, you certainly drove me insane,” she mutters under her breath. 

“To be fair, I've driven a lot of women insane.” 

Now he gets a death glare. “Not that kind of insane.” 

“If you say so.” She falls silent after that, and for some reason he can’t bear the awkwardness of it, so he prattles, “But I’d say I’m more of a panther now.” 

“Let me guess, because you have black hair and green eyes.” 

“I mean, I was going for the powerful, fearless, deadly angle, but that works, too. Though my eyes are more hazel, actually, you’re the one with true green. But I didn’t think you’d ever noticed my eye color, let alone remembered it.” 

Lily glances back up at him, eyebrows high. “Remember the part where I not-so-subtly told you that your chattering drives me the bad kind of insane by comparing you to a magical bird that is literally required to have a silencing charm reinforced monthly by law because its singing causes insanity?” 

Feigning concern, he quips, “Oh, was that a riddle I didn’t get?”

She pinches the bridge of her nose with a sigh. 

[lemotmo]

Hello hello!

I was just curious if you knew if something happened this morning that I missed?

Everything was fine when I went to bed last night and then I woke up today and it seems like there’s so many people on tumblr and Twitter suddenly panicking that Tim is changing his mind and going to develop bt and keep him around and that people love bt more then buddie?

Like what did I miss 😅

Hey Nonny! :)

Ah yes, you got thrown into the frenzy! Well, first of all I want to reassure you nothing terrible happened. So don't worry.

The official 911 instagram account posted the BT kiss scene again in honour of Pride Month, which I was expecting since they made a beautiful Henren edit and they can't very well leave out the newly minted bisexual Buck. An in all honesty? He deserves this post. This is about Buck's journey and it's okay to wish him the happiest of Prides.

Anyway, that Instagram post got quite a bit of interaction from the BT fans, mind you... the interaction is actually minimal if you compare it to the interaction past Buddie posts have received.

I have also seen a lot of Buddie fans' reaction on this post and those reactions always get a lot of likes of like-minded Buddie fans. So our voice is still being heard on this BT post.

But of course some people have decided to panic over this. As is per usual in fandom spaces. People tend to panic quickly.

If we look at the facts though:

That scene they posted? It was unedited. So they left in aaaaall the many Eddie references. They could have easily removed those, but they kept them. They even kept the 'My attention?'. LOL!

The Henren edit they made last week was beautiful. They used different scenes and edited it together. The BT one is just that one scene with a very generic caption that has nothing to do with Tommy or BT.

Buddie has never shared so many scenes as in season 7. Compare that to BT who barely had any scenes together.

The many many many interviews about Buddie and bi Buck (With almost no mention of Tommy. The focus is always on Buck and Buck alone.). The interviews that Ryan has been giving out lately, with references to 'the Buck and Eddie thing', Eddie finding himself for the first time and him referring to his potential future partner in gender neutral terms.

Oliver never speaks about Tommy or BT. He only mentions them when he's talking about Tommy being a friend for him to guide him into his bisexuality. He never engages with the fandom either. Remember he once stopped engaging with the Buddie fandom because he didn't want to queerbait people and lead them on. Then he started spewing Buddie again right before season 7 and he hasn't stopped since. In fact, Ryan has joined him. Now he is doing the same thing when it comes to BT. He doesn't want to lead people on, because he knows that Tommy isn't sticking around.

I could go on with many more points, but I feel like I'm going off on a tangent and most of the things on this list are things I've talked about before in my previous posts about this subject.

In short: No matter how you look at it, all roads lead to Buddie. I know that people will always be sceptical. I mean, there is a part of me that will always have some doubt. I can't shut if off, because I have been burned before with ships in the past. But this time we are so close and everything is pointing in the same direction.

I feel like the stars are finally all aligned this time to give us queer Eddie and Buddie in season 8.

[heyhellohihowareyou]

Why “Ball Game Tournament Time” is underrated as hell

BASEBALL EPISODE! BASEBALL EPISODE! Any anime that has a baseball episode in it is bound to get Hailey hooked!

And this one is about her Sugi boy! She’s all for him getting more screentime!

Out of context picture

I’m pretty sure that this was the episode that started the “Jiriki Hongan Revolution” intro (Correct me if I’m wrong) and since it’s tied as my fav AC intro, this episode gets points for starting it!

Baseball fanatic Koro is best Koro!

Anyways, did I mention I love baseball episodes because I love baseball episodes

Found a cute side character with freckles. Appreciate her NOW!

Two very good boys right here!

Kimura gets to do something! We must savor this moment while we still can!

Awww a cute Mimura!

I live for a badass Sugi boy (Even though this one is in Shindo’s head 😅)

Also, start the count for how many times Shindo looks like he’s about the piss himself

Ain’t this such a great episode! 3-E is succeeding and showing the main campus kids what’s what! Boy I sure hope no one ruins-

Bitch. Can you please stay out of my feel good sports episodes and not traumatize people at all? You’re bringing down the vibes man 😕

Well the girlies are back at least! Kind of wish we got to see them play though.

Kayano: “It’s just that the other team had huge jiggly boobs! It made me so made that I couldn’t concentrate!” Kaede sweetie you are not beating the allegations 🩷💜💙

Nothing to say except I like Maehara’s bewildered face

GAKUHOU STOP FUCKING MANIPULATING TEENAGERS FOR FUCK SAKE

I hate the man but those eyes though

Irina: “Aha! I think I get it! So you hit a ball with a stick!” Never change Irina. Never change.

Oh my god EVERYONE SHUT UP RIGHT NOW AND LOOK AT MY BOY!!!

Did I mention that I adore Sugino. Well, I ADORE SUGINO!!!

I swear to god Gakuhou doesn’t have life WHY ARE YOU HERE!?

Also, anyone else felt bad for Shindy this episode? Sure he was sort of a cocky bastard for the first part but man is he put through hell here.

Karmster using his bitch powers to good use (Yes, Karmster is his new name now)

Also this should be a meme template

I saw the glowing red eyes and my first thought was “Baki?”

Nothing to say except that I find Isogai’s little sigh cute

Bewildered Shindy

Gakuhou: “Crack a skull if need be.” Why aren’t you in jail yet?

We love Karmster’s little bitch face

Karmster: “Swing like you’re trying to kill us.” My guy is in distress

Nagisa: “That’s got him pretty shaken up.” Pretty Shaken- MY GUY IS TRAUMATIZED!

Again, poor Shindy. Like seriously get this boy some help.

I’ve caught two bright smiles in one screenshot!

Sugino: “Didn’t mean for things to get so crazy.” Shindy needs to go to therapy

Juuuust Karmster

Hadn’t mention before but I love listening to Sugi’s dubbed voice. For someone who shares a voice actor with the loud mouth that is Katsuki Bakugo his voice is nice to listen to

Sugino: “It was about being proud of my new friends. I wanted to show them off.” Sugino I fucking love you.

Welp that’s it. That was a good ass episode that we as a fandom should talk about more! It’s season 1’s version of leader time to me. In fact it’s part of my top ten favorite episodes of the series (I really need to make a list) I don’t say it that much but Sugino as a character brings me so much serotonin so watching this episode was a joy for me! Combined with the fact that I love baseball this episode was an absolute delight.

I keep forgetting how bad I feel for Shindy boy here. Like, he was just slightly cocky and he ended up getting manipulated left and right. Seriously, I wouldn’t be surprised if he ended up having nightmares about the 3-E students sniping him in his sleep or something.

Anyways, like I said. This is a good episode and we should really discuss it more. We should discuss Sugino more. DISCUSS THE BOY! <—— Barely discusses the boy in question

[birdofmay]

FAQ (updated 9 September 2024)

Medical content: 1. Can I use AAC if I'm not nonverbal? 2. Nuances of being nonverbal 3. Why your brain can't make sense of speech 4. What's CAS? 5. Apraxia vs. dyspraxia 6. Verbality level 7. Alternative terms for losing speech 8. Autism levels 9. Support needs 10. irl contact with me 11. Asking for my opinion

Personal content: 1. Frisian vs. German 2. The Frisian language 3. Metal recommendations 4. Why I have extensive knowledge on metal

Medical questions start here

"Can I use AAC if I'm not nonverbal/nonspeaking?"

Yes. Absolutely. Unless it's a last cookie scenario (you're taking the last cookie even though someone else in the room would need it more), AAC isn't limited. If you benefit from AAC of any kind, use it. You even help to normalise it that way.

Just make sure not to dominate discussions about AAC users who can't speak at all.

"Why do you guys say that nonverbal means you can't speak at all? There's more nuance to that!"

True, but when we gave more nuance, suddenly verbal people thought that they "by definition" are nonverbal/nonspeaking too.

I never learned to speak, but I can sing and make sounds with my mouth and say single words (up to 3 on a good day). And I'm medically considered nonverbal because I can't voluntarily say these words etc.

In my experience it's better to give as little nuance as possible to people who don't know much about us (otherwise they're confused by too much information) and only talk about nuances once they understand the basics...

...which sometimes happens soon but sometimes never at all...

"Sometimes I listen to people and my brain can't make sense of what they say, what's that?" - Maybe....

an ADHD thing

a sensory overload thing

receptive language issues

auditory processing disorder

aphasia

...or check out how language processing and auditory processing works in general, autism can make these things hard without it being an additional disorder ☝🏼

"What's CAS?"

Childhood apraxia of speech (also known as Developmental Verbal Dyspraxia) is a condition where individuals struggle to "let their mouth do what their brain wants" - it's as if mouth and brain don't cooperate

It comes in mild and severe cases and is lifelong (but it's possible to make a lot of progress, depending on the symptoms)

Normally language comprehension isn't impaired, it's just speaking that doesn't work

Check this external Cleveland Clinic link that explains it very well

"Are apraxia and dyspraxia the same? Can regular dyspraxia affect the mouth?"

Apraxia and childhood apraxia of speech aren't the same; usually apraxia is due to brain damage of some kind, and CAS isn't. Dyspraxia often is used to refer to developmental conditions, which is why CAS is also called developmental verbal dyspraxia. Unfortunately, apraxia and dyspraxia are often used interchangeably, so it's necessary to always make it clear what we mean first.

There also is a second definition of dyspraxia and apraxia: dys- means something is impaired and a- means that it's impossible to do/absent. This, again, is why it's important to make it clear what we mean. Medical settings use all of these definitions - yep, that's kind of chaotic 😅

Normal dyspraxia can definitely affect the mouth and the whole face. My sources are people I know from disability programs and therapy, but I've seen papers about that too at some point.

Many people with CAS have normal dyspraxia too (as two different diagnoses), but not everyone.

Yes, CAS can affect fine- and gross motor skills, but that doesn't always make it regular dyspraxia too

"I don't know what my verbality level would be considered!"

Me neither! But check out my masterpost

and don't forget that "unreliably speaking" is for people with "full body apraxia" to describe the brain-body disconnect only.

"I've heard that we shouldn't say "going nonverbal", what other words can we say instead?"

Here, a nice little list!

"I don't know my autism level!"

Me neither, only the DSM-5 has autism levels, I don't have an autism level either.

I was diagnosed with severe autism because they made me take several additional "severity tests" after the normal diagnostic tests.

If your country uses the DSM-5, maybe you've been diagnosed when they still used the DSM-4. Or you simply weren't assigned a level, not every professional does that.

"I don't know what support needs I'd be considered!"

Me neither, but check out my support needs masterpost

A "general rule of thumb" is "Help with IADLs = low support needs, help with IADLs and some BADLs = medium support needs, help with IADLs and most or all BADLs = high support needs", but these categories aren't as strict as they seem.

Do you have care needs? No? Then you're not high support needs, you're most likely low or low-to-mid support needs.

My country re-assesses my support needs regularly; if you're medium or high support needs and weren't medically neglected your whole life, you'd normally know that you're medium or high support needs already, because that's tested (if you're not sure, check the documents). But testing is different from country to country.

Unless, of course, something happened recently that you now suddenly need a lot of help, definitely more than before. In this case there likely wasn't any testing yet. But in that case I can't help you either, because I don't test you.

Note because this still is a common misunderstanding: The DSM-5 says for example "Autism level 1: Requires support", but the support that's meant there has nothing to do with the support needs we're talking about in this and in the linked post. It's a little unfortunate that both say "support" because people always think it's the same when it really really isn't ☝🏼

"How should people who want to be friends with you in real life act, so that you're not overwhelmed?"

See, that's the main difference between my (severe) autism and most people on Tumblr. I'm not interested in real life friends. Chatting via messenger is the most relaxing kind of communication for me.

My parents, carers, accompanying people, etc. tell others exactly what to do or not to do so that I'm not overwhelmed. But you'd mostly speak to them instead of me anyway because direct contact is overwhelming.

"What's your opinion on this term/view/discourse/political topic/debate? Is [thing] offensive?"

I have a language disorder that makes it hard to understand the meaning of things and to connect the word to the meaning of the word. Unless it's a thing of my everyday life, I most likely won't understand this thing or I don't know anything about it.

I may sound quite articulate on here, but I have brain damage from birth; there are many things I don't understand, especially if it's in complex language.

I don't understand politics or money, and I don't understand laws on disability, unless they affect me personally and are those of my country.

------------------------

Personal questions start here

"Wait, you say you're Frisian, but I just saw a post where you said you're German. Are you both or what?"

I quote Wikipedia: "Frisia is a cross-border cultural region in Northwestern Europe. Stretching along the Wadden Sea, it encompasses the north of the Netherlands and parts of northwestern Germany."

My family on my dad's side is East Frisian & my family on my mum's side is North Frisian

By definition, North and East Frisia is in Germany

"Do you speak Frisian?"

Frisian isn't just one language. Google Translate may say "Frisian", but that's actually West Frisian of the Netherlands.

My dad's family speaks East Frisian Low German because the East Frisian language (except for Sater Frisian) is extinct

My mum's side lost their North Frisian language version because it was forbidden multiple times. It is actively revived, but my grandparents are too old to re-learn it successfully

I understand my dad's Low German, but I don't speak it myself

"I'm new to metal. Do you have recommendations?"

Here's a brief overview for beginners!

"How do you know so much about metal? 😮"

Both of my parents AND grandparents are metalheads; my "holiday long car rides" childhood nostalgia songs are mostly Thrash Metal and worse.

While my dad isn't autistic, he's definitely the one I got it from. He has hyperfixated on metal and metal bands since metal came into existence. And he loves to infodump.

Discovering new music is one of my interests. Music is my way to socialise and to understand the world, so when my family still was my only social contact, of course all of this research energy would flow into metal 😄

[variety-fangirl]

My Saviour / Eddie Munson x fem!reader

Part 1 here Part 2 here Part 3 here

Summary: You finally get to Eddie's trailer for movie night, after the fight Andy and Eddie had at school, and you were determined to show Eddie how much you appreciate him and what he means to you.

Warnings: 18+ NO MINORS there's smut 😏 (unprotected p in v, female and male receiving oral, hand job, fingering, gentle mouth fucking, rough but passionate fucking/lovemaking, praise kink), swearing, mentions of fighting, blood and cuts. Lmk if I missed anything.

Authors note: I am so fucking sorry this took so long 😅😂 I've had a bunch of requests, college homework to do, classes to attend, and personal shit happening so things got a bit hectic but It's finally done! (Also, a little writers block🥲) Thank you to anyone who waited patiently for this. I didn't intend for this to be as long as it is 😅 but I don't regret it. Liking, reblogging, and commenting really helps me out, thank you!

Word count: 3.7k

The drive to Eddie's trailer was short, which you were thankful for, you could spend some quality alone time together. You also needed to tend to Eddie's wounds, not wanting them to get infected, it was the least you could do for what he did for you. Part of you knew it was for himself also, he wanted to show he could defend himself and throw a punch. You had to admit, part of you had been slightly turned on by Eddie's actions, the way he had defended you and stopped Andy from touching you. It was hot, no one had ever stood up for you or put themselves in harm's way just to protect you in any sort of way before.

Having people disappoint and hurt you all your life made you grateful for those who didn't and treated you with only kindness, you appreciate those people so much more. Not that there were many but you loved them unconditionally. Eddie was at the top of that list, your favourite person in the world. He was already everything to you and that scared the fuck out of you, your life had been so much better since he'd been involved fully in such a small amount of time. You hated that you'd dragged him into your mess though, your life wasn't exactly easy right now with everything going on with your parents and Andy.

As you both enter his empty trailer, your mind was swimming with thoughts. "Where's your bathroom?" you wonder, turning to look at Eddie in question. He points to the right of the hallway, "there." he smiles. You nod and grab his hand, intertwining your fingers as you pull him with you to the bathroom. You open the dark wooden door and enter, leading Eddie to sit on the closed toilet seat as you look through the medicine cabinet for a first aid kit. You collect what you need, finding mostly everything you would need to clean Eddie up.

You pour some antibacterial onto cotton balls and turn to face Eddie who was waiting patiently, flashing you a saccharine smile as he noticed you staring. Now that you finally got a chance to look at him properly, you took in his appearance. Both knuckles were busted, bloody and cut, they looked painful. His lip was cut, only bleeding slightly, and he had a small cut on his cheekbone but that was about it, Andy had looked much worse than Eddie did. He got what he deserved, it was about time that someone taught him a lesson. He must be stewing angrily inside at this moment that Eddie "the freak" Munson beat the shit out of him in a fight, you felt proud of him.

You move closer to Eddie, holding his shoulder with your free hand to reach him better. You slotted yourself in between his open legs, your thighs touching his. The warmth radiating off him into you provided comforting safety. As gently as possible, you begin dabbing at his knuckles, earning a slight hiss from him. You wince, "sorry" you apologise, genuinely feeling horrible that you were causing him more pain than he probably already felt. After a few seconds, it didn't seem to phase him anymore thankfully. You continued wiping and dabbing as gently as you could until both knuckles were as clean and disinfected as possible.

You moved on to his face, starting with his cheek. You noticed Eddie moving his hands around a lot as if he didn't know where to put them. You stopped cleaning, putting the clean cotton ball down and grabbed his hands, placing them on either side of your waist. You pick the cotton back up and begin working on his cheekbone. As if testing his luck, Eddie wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you slightly closer. Your body shivers involuntarily at the sensation of his fingers holding you, digging into your skin in a good way. Goosebumps raised on your stomach and arms, a smile slipping onto your features. Eddie looked away with a smile of his own.

You placed the bloody cotton into the bin on the floor next to the toilet, discarded with the others. When you turn back to look at Eddie, he was already looking at you with a look you were unsure of. You both stared intensely into each other's eyes, a magnetic connection pulling you to one another. You decide to shoot your shot, hoping to not be rejected. Leaning in slowly, your lips gently touch Eddie's, testing the waters. You wrap your hands around his neck, lips moving in sync as Eddie's hands pull your waist into him.

You climb onto his lap, enjoying the feeling of his hands exploring your body. Your hands work their way up to tangle themselves into his long soft brown curls, pulling on the hair slightly. Eddie groaned, his lips opening at the sensation, allowing you to slip your tongue in his mouth. A squeal of surprise escapes as you were suddenly picked up, your legs wrapped around his waist almost instantly. Eddie's hands move to cup your ass, keeping them there as he walks you to where you assume is his bedroom.

The kiss is only broken when your back lands on the bed with a gentle thump, both removing your shoes and socks before Eddie climbs on top of you. Reaching with your fingers, you pull at the bottom of his shirt, letting Eddie know you wanted it off. He chuckled but didn't say anything, pulling his shirt over his head and threw it on the floor somewhere. You didn't get a chance to look at him properly. His lips return to yours with need as his body slotted in between your legs, bodies pressed together. Eddie's lips began exploring, moving across your jaw and down to your neck. You gasp as his lips suck and kiss the sensitive skin, small moans escaping your open mouth.

You sit up and take your shirt and bra off, needing his lips to touch every inch of your skin possible. Goosebumps prickled at your exposed skin, despite the weather being warm. Eddie pulls back slightly to take you in, staring at you. "So beautiful" he smiled, his hands grabbing your breasts. You feel your cheeks flush at the compliment, it felt genuine coming from Eddie. You believed he actually meant it and that made your core wet. His lips attached to your nipple, his tongue licking and sucking the sensitive area as his hand played with the other.

He continued to work on your breasts, teasing you deliciously. Between every swipe from the rough pads of his fingertips, undoubtedly from years of playing the guitar. And with every wet flick and suck from his tongue, it drove you insane. You were an extremely patient woman but Eddie just seemed to pull a needy passion out of you that took over. You wanted, needed so much more. "Please Eddie," you whisper breathlessly, looking at him with pleading eyes.

Eddie groans and nods, happy that you wanted to go further with him. Eddie didn't think in a million years that you, the beautiful rich popular cheerleader, would want anything to do with him. It still shocked him every day when you wanted to be with him and around him. Small breaths and gasps leave you as his lips move their way down from your chest to the top of your jeans, his lips kissing gently at your hips as his fingers work at unbuttoning and pulling your jeans down your legs. Your underwear follows with your jeans, leaving you completely naked.

Your skin was hot, a trail of desire left in the wake of Eddie's downward path to where you needed him most. His fingers dragged down your wet slit, fingers instantly coated in your slick. You had never felt so turned on by someone barely doing anything before, you couldn't deny the romantic and sexual chemistry that was blooming between you more and more every day. Eddie replaced his fingers with his mouth, his lips and tongue attaching to your clit. You gasp, moaning loudly as you threw your head back. The pleasure was overwhelming, Eddie was a fast learner and picked up on your reactions and sounds quickly.

You reach down to tangle your fingers in his long soft dark curls, pulling slightly in your state of pleasure. You had craved for so long to have your fingers in his hair. Eddie groans deeply into your core, the vibration feeling odd but not bad. His mouth continued to lick and suck at your clit perfectly as he added a finger, enhancing the pleasure you were already feeling. You moan loudly with your mouth open wide, eyes rolling to the back of your head as you rock your hips to the rhythm he had set. The obscene noises that filled the otherwise quiet room as Eddie's fingers pumped in and out of you had you blushing profusely, they were dirty and wild.

"Oh fuck eds." you gasp, fingers continuing to pull at his strands and thighs tightening around his head more, both reactions involuntary, not that Eddie seemed to mind. You could already feel the knot beginning to form in your stomach, building and expanding with each passing second. Your breathing quickened, chest rising and falling rapidly and your moans became louder, all concern for neighbours out the window. Eddie could feel how close you were in the way that you clenched around his fingers, his mind imagining how you would feel clenching around his cock.

"Come for me, baby. Be a good girl for me." Eddie smiled, looking up at you with devious intent. You gasp, clenching harder around his fingers as the knot releases inside of you, exploding in a euphoric bliss that takes over your body with black and white stars that cloud your vision. Eddie works you through your high, only letting up when you laugh with a gasp and try to push his head away. He chuckles, begrudgingly moving away, placing one last kiss to your stomach before you were pulling him up to kiss you.

You felt an overwhelming need to please Eddie the way he had pleased you, to show him just how much you wanted him. To make him feel as good as you felt when he touched you, bringing you immense pleasure. More than Andy had ever, surpassing it by a long shot. Amid your tongues fighting for dominance, your hand reaches down to the button and zipper of his jeans, undoing them so you can slip your hand into his boxers. You wrap your hand around his warm leaking cock, slowly pumping him. "Fuuuuuuck baby" Eddie groans, forehead pressing against yours, eyes closing as a look of pleasure and bliss forms on his face.

"Take these off for me," you whisper almost breathlessly as you pull on his jeans and boxers, wanting to feel and see all of him. You wanted to appreciate his body, explore every dip, crevice, bump, and mark that covered him. Eddie gets off of you to stand next to his bed, pulling the last two articles of clothing he had left covering his glorious body from you. You watch with wide excited eyes as the fabric falls to the floor, his cock slaps against his stomach as it is finally released from its restraints. It had felt big but finally getting to see it was another story, it was huge.

You stare with intrigued eyes, mouth-watering with the need to taste him. The head of his cock was red and angry, precum leaking as the veins protruded visibly. "Like what you see sweetheart?" Eddie smirks as he climbs back on the bed, now laying on his back. You nod, "most definitely. Prettiest cock I've ever seen." you bite your lip once more as you climb on top of him. You notice red tinges creep up Eddie's cheeks at the comment, you had made Eddie Munson blush. You smile, finding him all the more attractive knowing that you affected him how he affected you. There was just something about a guy blushing that was extremely cute and insanely attractive at the same time.

Being on top allowed you to get a better look at Eddie as a whole, allowing you to admire his beauty and uniqueness. As you straddled his waist, staring down at him with admiration, you allowed yourself to explore him better. Your hands ran over his inked scarred skin, tracing every line and pattern, feeling every inch of skin that you could reach. He was imperfectly perfect, his tattoos and scars a part of him that made Eddie himself. "You're so beautiful," you whisper just loud enough for him to hear as your hands run down his chest to his torso, admiring his soft skin under your fingertips.

Eddie grabbed the back of your neck and pulled you down to roughly kiss, which caused a loud surprised moan to escape. Mouths connecting in a frantic passion, eager for one another. Kissing Eddie was addicting, he was like a drug to you, fuelling you with the need and want for him at all times. Especially his lips on yours. "I should be saying that to you," Eddie whispered breathlessly as he pulled away, forehead against yours. You smile, pecking his lips a few times before answering, "you deserve compliments too. Your beauty is something definitely worth commenting on baby."

Kissing your way down his mouth to his jaw, placing soft but needy kisses all over. Following the contours of his skin down his neck to his chest, sucking gently on certain areas when Eddie would gasp. Eventually, you finally arrive at his crotch, having teased him enough. You pumped him slowly a few times, getting him ready as you lick the precum from the angry red leaking tip of his cock. Eddie moans loudly as you wrap your lips around the head, the salty taste instantly making you wet. "F-fuck baby." he groans breathlessly, head thrown back and mouth open wide.

You bob your head as you take him slowly inch by inch further down your throat each time, savouring every delicious bit of Eddie that you were allowed to take. Eddie was big, so big that you could only fit so much to the back of your throat, needing your hand to wrap around what you couldn't take. The sounds of Eddie's deep groans and his hand inching toward your hair had you wetter than ever before, causing a deep moan of your own to escape. You could feel the apprehension coming off Eddie in waves, so you helped him out. Grabbing his hand gently, you lead his hand to your hair, indicating for him to grip it.

You nod your head to let him know you're okay with it and keep going, picking your speed up slightly. "Okay, shit," Eddie replies breathlessly as he cups your hair in a ponytail, he was now able to get a better look at you sucking his cock. You were enjoying yourself, moaning like a mess at your actions. Tears fell down your cheeks, spit drooled down your chin and covered your hand. Eddie's moans were like music to your ears, it was one of the most beautiful and enjoyable sounds you'd ever heard, and would happily listen to them for the rest of your life.

You could feel Eddie's hips being to stiffen and shake as he gently fucked your throat, he was getting close and you were more than happy to give him release. You almost craved the taste of him, knowing you were the one to get him there. But Eddie had other plans, pulling you off him and up to straddle his waist. He notices you staring at him in confusion, "The first time I cum I want it to be inside you baby." he smiles, pulling you down to kiss him after you nod in understanding. Eddie's hands grab your face and neck, thumb gently stroking your cheek.

You squeal in surprise as Eddie flips you both over so he's now on top, not breaking the kiss once. You wrap your arms around his neck to keep him close, needing to feel his skin on yours. You feel Eddie line his cock up with your entrance, he looks to you for reassurance and agreement that it's okay. Your heart swells at his action, despite needing release from the built-up sexual tension, he still took the time to ask if it was okay and you knew he would stop if you said no or asked him to stop at any point. You nod, "please," you whisper needily.

The second Eddie entered you, you knew you were done for, that no one else would compare after this. Not that you wanted or would even think of anyone else, Eddie was it for you. You both moan loudly as Eddie slowly adds inch by inch into you until his hips are flush with yours, allowing you to wrap your legs around his waist. This gave him better access and allowed him to go slightly deeper, "Shit, you feel so good, baby," Eddie hissed, giving you time to adjust to him.

After a few moments, not very long, you gave Eddie the go-ahead to move. He began slowly to let you adjust to the size, not wanting to go too fast too soon and end up hurting you. The last thing Eddie would ever want to do is to hurt you, and you knew that. That was one thing you loved about him, he was the complete opposite of Andy, so kind and selfless. Andy had become cruel, careless, and callous in his actions with no regard for your feelings anymore, and yet, still tried to keep a hold on you. But not Eddie. Eddie was wonderful.

Eddie pressed his forehead against yours as he thrust in and out, setting a slow yet powerful pace. Each thrust forward had your skin slapping, knocking the breath out of you each time. It was intense and almost painful, the pressure unlike any other you'd felt, but it wasn't bad. You enjoyed every second and craved more, needed more. "Faster Eddie, please." you breathlessly plead, mouth open as yours and Eddie's breaths mix.

Eddie picks up the pace, setting a faster rhythm. The room was filled with the sound of breathing and moans, along with the lewd sounds of skin slapping and your obscene wetness. You had never been so wet in your life, your juices were flowing down your legs, no doubt wetting the mattress under you but neither seemed to care. "Your so wet baby, you feel so fucking good." Eddie groaned as he put his head into the crook of your neck, kissing the sweaty skin there. His hands held himself up so he wouldn't crush you with the force of his hips fucking you into the mattress.

"Holy shit!" you moan loudly, head thrown back. Your nails rake down the skin of Eddie's back, the pleasure overwhelming your body. Each thrust rubbed Eddie's pelvis against your clit, stimulating you just right. Your breathing increased considerably, almost pushing you over the edge. He could feel you tightening around his cock, "wait for me baby, I'm so close." you nod, pulling Eddie's head up to you so that you can kiss him, needing to feel his lips on yours. As you kiss, Eddie's finger moves to rub your clit, your whole body shaking from trying to hold off your orgasm.

You hold off as long as you possibly can, the pressure building to the point of being almost painful. Your moans turn to needy whimpers, not being able to stay still with all the pent-up pleasure. You were a shaking, breathless moaning mess by the time Eddie's hips started to shake and stutter, "come for me baby, come on my cock." Eddie groaned against your mouth, kissing you in a feverish passion. "Oh fuuuuuck!" He yells as you moan loudly, his hips slamming into yours one last time. You both let go, coming at the same time, making the moment even more intimate. Eddie works you both through your highs, forehead pressed against yours as his cum fills you.

You wince as Eddie pulls out, praying that the mixed fluid wouldn't get on the bed as you cross your legs. Eddie returns moments later, sitting next to you on the bed. He helps to clean you up, wiping you down with a warm cloth. He tosses it on the floor once done and gets onto the bed next to you, pulling you into his side immediately. You curl into Eddie earnestly, naked bodies now connected in more than one way. You snuggle your head into his chest as Eddie's arms wrap around your back, pulling you as tight as possible to him.

Eddie smiles as he too snuggles his head into yours, placing kisses into your hair. In that moment you could feel the 'L' word creep onto the tip of your tongue, begging to be let free. You'd never said it to anyone before, so the thought of saying it to someone who become so important to you in such a short amount of time terrified you. "Eddie?" you whisper tentatively, scared of how he would react. "Yeah?" you feel him shift as if to look at you. You bite your lip, "I've fallen for you. I love you." you say so quietly that you're unsure he even heard you. You could practically hear your heartbeat in your ears, your chest constricting at the thought of being rejected.

You turn your head to look at him and feel your heart drop at his reaction, his eyes were wide and mouth open, and he looked terrified. You clear your throat, "you don't have to say it back or anything, I know it's soon. I'm such an idiot, I shouldn't have said anything-" before you can say anything more Eddie's lips are against yours, you squeal in surprise but return the affection nonetheless, needing some comfort right now after being so vulnerable. Eddie pulls away and presses his forehead against yours, "I love you too, sweetheart. I mean, how can I not?"

You smile as you wrap your arm around his neck, tangling your fingers into his long curly brown locks. You pull him gently to kiss once more, more softly and intimately this time as you both revel in the new shared confession of your feelings for one another.

[sflow-er]

20 questions for fic writers

Thank you so much for the tag, @silvagrey!💜

How many works do you have on Ao3?

Eight.

What's your total Ao3 word count?

355,461 (that's a bit deceptive; one of my fics is 239k).

What fandoms do you write for?

Young Royals. I did write for other fandoms all through my teens, but those fics haven't been online for a long time now.

Top five fics by kudos:

Other people's secrets (1,215) Matters of adjustment (190) The real deal (180) Like you better (152) Last chance (126)

Do you respond to comments?

I respond to every comment on new fics and WIPs. Having discussions in the comments section is the best thing about sharing a story, and I love my little community of regular commenters!

However, I am currently learning not to beat myself up for not getting round to answering every backlogged comment on OPS. I still try my best, but I had to change my previous "always respond" policy when @willedeservesbetter left very long thought-provoking comments on the first 20+ chapters and I simply couldn't keep up... 😅 I'm trying to trust that people know life gets in the way sometimes.

That being said, I do reply to all comments where the reader has shared their personal thoughts on the ace rep! It may take me a while to get to them, but they never fall off my to-do list.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Årnäs, February 2016. I don't necessarily think the ending is "angsty", but it's a very bleak fic with no happy ending.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

It's impossible to choose between all my Walty fics. Does the emotional payoff from all the angst make OPS the happiest ending? Or is it one of the fics that are sweet from start to finish?

Whichever one it is, I would like to think none of them are too sugary sweet. They are very happy on the romance front because I want them to be a comforting read, but there is usually at least something left for the characters to figure out on their own after the story with the insight/support/lessons they have gained.

Do you get hate on fics?

Thankfully no. There is one rudely worded public bookmark on OPS, but it doesn't qualify as hate. Also, I once got a comment calling a plot point "ridiculous :D", but the person didn't mean any harm.

Do you write smut?

I did write a couple of scenes in my teens for one fic, just emulating what I had read. The feedback was good.

I think I've mentioned this on here before, but I actually tried to write some as an exercise last year! From a "technical" standpoint, it turned out okay, but from an emotional standpoint, it just made me cringe and roll my eyes a lot. I don't know if it's a grey thing or a me thing, but I just can't buy into it at all. And I'm not interested in writing allo PWP, so unless I decide to write an explicit ace sex scene one day, the answer is no. I don't write smut.

Craziest crossover:

I'm not really a crossover person.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

No.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Well, I did enlist my "live-in expert" as a consultant on ÅFeb16 (to help me get child August's POV right and sign off on Carl Johan's characterisation and all the bad stuff bubbling under). I really enjoyed the collaboration - but I don't think actually co-writing a text with anyone would be a good fit for my process. I wouldn't even want a regular beta reader because it would only stress me out.

All-time favourite ship?

To write? I don't have an all-time favourite, but since I started up again, I would obviously have to say ace Henry/allo Walter.

What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I've got two WIPs at the moment. One is an unfinished and unpublished S3-compliant Walty fic, and the other is The real deal. At present, I'm feeling a resurgence of motivation for TRD, so the other fic is shelved for now. I do plan to finish it, though!

What are your writing strengths?

My planning and research game is pretty strong, as are my grammar and language skills. I guess the overall quality of my writing is decent when I'm not too stressed or low on creative energy. Many readers seem to find my writing fairly engaging, and they have said nice things about the dialogue, my characterisations, and the relationships between the characters.

Oh, and I think I'm pretty good at writing kissing scenes.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Perfectionism, self-criticism, "compulsive editing syndrome." When I'm unhappy with a passage, I tend to get stuck in a rewriting loop until I either get it right or spiral into writer's block and severe self-doubt. I also have a tendency to get swept away to the point where I neglect my wellbeing and burn myself out, which affects both my update schedule and the quality of my writing.

If you want more tangible weaknesses, I'm too wordy, my teenagers are unrealistically mature, and I occasionally overuse exposition.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

This is only my personal opinion and others are welcome to disagree! I'm not judging or criticising anyone in any fandom for using dialogue in another language in their own stories!

As a translator, my day job is all about conveying the same message in another language, and I can't just turn that logic off for writing. If the characters all speak one language throughout the text, it doesn't make sense to me personally to render some bits of dialogue in that language and others in English (unless those bits are truly untranslatable).

Not to mention that languages work differently, from word choice and grammar rules to the underlying communicative conventions and even thought patterns. Many people feel that using some sentences in the language that is actually being spoken adds authenticity, and that's a valid opinion! But to me personally, it's the other way around. I feel that the dialogue can only be consistently fluent in one language at a time, and if I'm writing the story in English, my dialogue will be an English rendering of what the characters would be saying in their own language. Similar to a translated book, only without a source text.

Now, if someone in the story is actually speaking another language, that's another matter! Dialogue in that language could be used very effectively in different situations, as in @silvagrey's example of Linda switching to Spanish to talk to Simon and Sara.

Again, this is just my personal opinion that I apply to my own writing! It is not the only valid opinion!

First fandom you wrote in?

If writing in my English notebook in lower secondary school counts, it was Final Fantasy X. The first fic I ever posted online was in an obscure anime/manga fandom in high school (and yes, I did use Japanese greetings and such back then).

Favourite fic you've written?

Other people's secrets. It's one of the best stories I've written, the one and only reason I'm still writing now, and one of the most meaningful things I've done for myself and my own ace identity (and apparently for some others too, which absolutely blows my mind). Furthermore, it was my first fic in over a decade and the biggest creative project I'd ever undertaken, so even just finishing it in a way I could be proud of was a huge accomplishment.

.

Thanks again for the tag, I had a great time answering these! 💜

No pressure tags: I honestly don't think I know any writers whom I haven't seen tagged yet (not ones who usually blog about their writing anyway)! So I'm just going to say if anyone reads this far and wants to play along, please tag me in your post. Or if you want to be tagged first, just let me know!

[infiniteglitterfall]

I'm so fucking done right now

I have a friend. We're going to call her "AAAAAAA!!!!"

AAAAAAA!!!! and I have been friends for more than twenty years. LONG before I started converting to Judaism.

She grew up in an area Jewish enough to get the high holy days off. She has as many Jewish friends as I do. She is more knowledgeable about Jewish stuff than anyone else I know who isn't Jewish. To the point that I've sometimes thought about asking her why she doesn't convert.

Sure, she's a staunch atheist. So nu?

I don't think we'd ever had occasion to talk about I/P politics before a couple of years ago. We immediately discovered we had uhhhhh. Very opposing views. We both backed off of what was clearly going to be a charged and messy discussion.

I didn't know enough yet to try anyway. All I knew, mainly, was that (1) Jews are the indigenous people of Israel and (2) both Israel and Palestine have Done Bad Shit!

That's a very, very, very inadequate understanding. But I did feel pretty confident that point #1 contradicted her apparent stance, which was more "Israel is the one that has Done Bad Shit."

We backed off for a couple of years. She would occasionally mention how much she wished I would read Edward Said, so we could talk about him.

She is, to her credit, totally against Hamas's attack. But we conflict on most other issues. And they're so charged for her that we can't really talk about any of them.

It turns out that the reason they're so charged is that her niece got yelled at and called out for "being an antisemite" for supporting BDS in college, and it was traumatizing for her.

In other words, she and her family stopped at "I had really really big feelings of shame and fear about this," and chose not to see "and I tried to find out why this marginalized group was saying that" as an option.

And also, AAAAAAA!!!!'s sister, a local elementary school principal, went through a stressful time recently for similar reasons: Jewish families were accusing her and/or her school of being antisemitic, and one (1) family left.

AAAAAAAA!!!! set the boundary, with me, that we should not talk about the definition of antisemitism, or antisemitism related to the protest movement, after I posted a list of things on Facebook that the ADL is charging the Berkeley Unified School District with.

Including that K-12 students have been saying and/or writing, "Kill the Jews," "Jews are stupid," "Of course it was the Jews," and telling Jewish peers, "I don't like your people."

My friend is angrily convinced that "such accusations are a flood of SEWAGE smeared on protesters, professors, etc. I am not saying there is no antisemitism, though Berkeley is a very weird place for it to crop up in the from-zero-to-a-thousand way it is described. Of course there can be a) isolated incidents that hit fucking hard in these circumstances, and b) deliberate elisions between, again, being against what Israel is doing, and having that portrayed as being antisemitic."

/looks at the camera/

All of this is just context for what I came here to say 😅

I WAS TONIGHT YEARS OLD WHEN I FOUND OUT WHAT EDWARD SAID WROTE, AND WHAT THE ENTIRE FUCK. FUCK THAT DUDE TWICE.

Constantine Zurayk's fiction that the “Arab nation” suffered the Nakba didn’t survive for long. [By 1967,] the meaning of the Nakba had already changed as Palestinian activists and historians began depicting the events of 1948 exclusively as a tragedy for their own people.

...The most influential of those [new books that framed it that way,] particularly for audiences in the West, was Edward W. Said’s The Question of Palestine, published in 1979.

Said, a popular Columbia University English professor [OH HELLO] and a member of the Palestinian National Council, was something of an icon in liberal intellectual circles because of his earlier book, Orientalism. In that work, Said framed the history of colonialism in the Arab and Islamic world within a system of Western racialist thought.

I'm just gonna guess that he didn't go back farther than 50 years. Because before that point, you get 1,300 years or so of Arab and Islamic colonialism, and I don't know how it would make sense to frame that within a system of Western racialist thought.

In The Question of Palestine, the author argued that the game was stacked against the native Palestinians in favor of the white Zionists, because of the same dominant racist ideologies.

THAT'S HIM, OFFICER. THAT'S THE GUY.

That's what my friend has been trying to get me to read for three years? An ahistoric mess that pretends Jews were actually white supremacists at the time that white supremacy was actively trying to wipe us out?

I'M SO TIRED, YOU GUYS.

Said denounced “the entrenched cultural attitude toward Palestinians deriving from age-old Western prejudices about Islam, the Arabs, and the Orient. This attitude, from which in its turn Zionism drew for its view of the Palestinians, dehumanized us, reduced us to the barely tolerated status of a nuisance.”

Yeah, THAT'S what happened.

“Certainly, so far as the West is concerned,” Said continues, “Palestine has been a place where a relatively advanced (because European) incoming population of Jews has performed miracles of construction and civilizing and has fought brilliantly successful technical wars against what was always portrayed as a dumb, essentially repellent population of uncivilized Arab natives.”

This was a harsh and distorted view of the Zionist movement.

I said I was so fucking done, and what I MEANT was that I was so fucking angry, and NOW I'M TEXTING HER SUPPORTIVELY ABOUT OTHER STUFF WHILE I WRITE THIS.

I just.

Please drag Edward Said for me or otherwise Go Off. Thank you

[fruity-mercenary]

Hey!! Trying something New! :D i wanna get back into writing so ima do some reader and characters, oc and canon, and canon and canon writings whenever i get bored! I’m currently on a waiting list on A03 so i’ll post it here for now! I would deeply appreciate feed back and suggestions! (Especially since I struggle with character Dialogue and Comedy even though its my favorite genre 😅) i do hope you enjoy however! <3

This is the first one! Its Earthspark Bumblebee and Reader (you) You wake up sick and he does everything he can to make sure your comfortable and cozy.

The first thing you see when you wake up is big, blue, worried eyes staring down at you. At first it’s a little confusing, but as you come to you realize it’s Bumblebee.

You smile weakly and stifle a small cough that turns into a larger one. You shift and pull the blanket closer as you shiver. It fits just right, its soft and gray, with little white dots that turn into stars.

“Are you okay? Can i get you anything? Soup? Water?” Bumblebee bombards with questions. Hes gentle as adjusts your pillows. You take a moment to comprehend what he just said.. “tissues… maybe a cough drop..?” You Sniffle and cough but not has harshly as before.

“Yes! Will do!” he hops up quickly, rushing off to find said things, the ground shakes softly as he walks to cabinet to cabinet in the base under the barn. Your thankful the hay hasn’t followed into the cozy space.

You feel kinda drowsy and start to close your eyes. You wonder whats taking bumblebee so long. It isn’t long till he comes over and hands you glass “hehe..so there really isn’t any human things down here! But i’m sure Dorothy can make some soup and get you those tissues and cough drops! Would you like that?” He asks politely as he nervously rubs his neck

You laugh softly as bumblebees awkwardness, it’s obvious he cares about you and wants to make sure you feel better. You cough into your hand, not wanting to get your germs on him even if he can’t get sick. “That would be nice…” you say in soft, hoarse voice

He smiles and jumps up with a little hop in his step. “Cool! Cool cool! I’ll go get that!” He points to the door and rushes to go, stopping when you call out his name. “Yeah!?” He becomes calmer, frowning, he wishes you well.

“Thank you…” you curl up closer to yourself, coughing hard. You hope to feel better soon..you like the though of fresh air and to play tag with the terrans. Maybe a walk in the woods to clear your mind.

Bumblebee smiles softly, tilting his head at the gratitude. “Anytime, get some rest” he says in that warm like honey voice he uses when hes appreciative.

You feel your eyes start to close.. you watch him leave.. a part of you doesn’t want him to go, you feel like crap, your shivering, coughing and sniffling. You want to curl up next to him to feel the warm of the engines. You know hes gone to take care of you and he’ll be back. But theres always the anxiety that maybe he’ll get caught up on a mission or its all a dream and you’ll wake up in your room you had before you met bumblebee.. but as you think all this you breathe out your mouth and drift off to sleep.

***

When you wake up again you still feel sick, but you’re awake now, still wrapped up in a blanket and in the cozy nook area. You smell the wonderful soup, surprisingly its still hot too. Though now your head is propped up and instead of a head rest, your head is in bumblebees leg. Is oddly soft even if its still metal. You smile but still feel bad you are getting your germs all over him.

He seems to be sleeping. Or maybe meditating? Its hard to tell but you like it all the same. You grab a tissues that was on the bed side table, along with a few cough drops, the un-drunk glass of water, and the soup with a spoon. It makes you happy that you have so many people (and bots) who want to nurse you back to health. Especially bumblebee.

He looks down on you as you grab the bowl of soup, he smiles and uses his index finger to rub your hair. You two dont need to speak to know how much you care for each other. Bumblebee will be patient as he helps you get over you illness. He’d love for you to be smiling and running around, tracking his speed record and practicing basketball.

Bumblebee isn’t too familiar with human sickness but he definitely knows you dont feel good, just by the way you sound when you cough is telling enough. And though hes a little grossed out by the too-late-uncovered-sneezing he cant seem to care that much.

Bumblebee notices the small frown on your lips, even if you seem to be enjoying the soup. he grabs the remote and puts a show on. He skips threw a few channels, he cant seem to find something until you sit up.

“Stop!” You cough out

He stops switching channels

“Go back.. back further.. keep going…… stop! Forward” you whisper, though the soup is soothing it still hurts to talk. “There..” you smile when you slump back down and curl up closer to bumblebees engines, they feel warm on your shivering arms, exactly what you needed to keep cozy to the max.

You look back at the tv when bumblebee turns the volume up. You told him to stop and go back because the channel had your favorite movie on. You could recognize it form any part, especially since the movie was already 30 minutes in.

“You like this movie?” Bumblebee wondered, since being a scout he didn’t really get to just sit down and enjoy many earth films. He saw bits and pieces when the terrans decided to watch something but it wasn’t really his speed.

“Duh!” You cough and blow your nose. “Sh sh.. the best part is coming up!” You smile as you make bumblebee watch. His reaction is what you’d expect. Your glad hes into your favorite movie, cause then he couldn’t stay your friend.

You were kidding, you didnt know what you’d do without bumblebee. Hes sweet, a bit silly even if it doesnt mean it. And a bit oblivious to some of the jokes you made. But its what made bumblebee, bumblebee and thats what you loved about him. You may there watching the movie. You’d make some comments if you were feeling better, but you wanted to finish your soup and down your water.

You weren’t tired but weren’t quite awake either. You just lay there, content as you could be in that moment. Bumblebee puts his hand in your back and you feel soothed. If you could you’d bask in the moment forever.. minus being sick. You got comfortable agains bumblebee oddly soft metal and focused on the movie.

Especially since bumblebee liked it too… it made you happy and safe. You already had a list of movies in your mind of what you think bumblebee might like.. once your feeling better a slumber party was just the perfect thing for the both of you.

[pathsofoak]

16, 17, 19, 20, 21, 36

i could not decide so it's many now nbcxvnnb

Ooohhh I like these 👀

16. I'll love you (platonically, in my case) if...

Okay I actually stared at this question for like 10 minutes trying to find out what my prerequisites for friendship are that aren't scarily low bars lfgjdljgfj but I think in general I feel safest/happiest around people who don't mind my rambling about my interests. Unless we're talking small acute things in which case I love you if you bring me brownies and strawberry tea 😌

17. Someone you miss

You, @itsthemxze, @mazegays, @smalleymcsmall, and @thominho-incorrectquotes XD

19. A fact about your personality

I get incredibly excited about categorizing things and the like, and organizing stuff (as in tidying and putting x thing in y place, not event organization). I think it's where my love of spreadsheets comes from 🤔

20. What I hate most about myself

I kept listing things and thinking about them and then it got too personal for a public post each time or I realized it's something other people have told me and I just internalized lmao so attempt number 5, I.... (quite literally 5 minutes later) Nope. I got nothing, sorry 😅 (but said information can be unlocked in discord dms)

21. What I love most about myself

I get very ambitious and enthusiastic about projects I'm invested in (sometimes a little too ambitious 😂), and if I'm invested enough I can stick with them for a very long time. Case in point, The Cold Half

36. Where would I like to live

I don't think I have a preference for any specific town, city, or country (though as far as countries go, places where I can manage with German or Dutch are preferred)

Walking distance from a current friend (but in a more realistic scenario, up to half an hour of travel time by whatever means of transport is most accessible to me is acceptable too). In every period in my life where I've had friends, they lived very far away so the hurdle to actually go there is quite big and we don't get to hang out physically much. I never really had that experience of playing outside with friends on the regular, I saw/see people at school/uni/the internet, and that's mostly it.

Other than that I think I'd like to live in a more urban area, I grew up rurally and everything is very far away. I don't need to live smack-dab in the middle of it, though.

[mycornerofdaydreams]

Because of personal struggles I was away from the Chris Evans fandom, I haven’t interacted much on the site anyways.

I have seen his big news though, signing into projects and going back and social media, his outing and what not. I just stayed away from the fandoms bullshit and let me tell you it’s a very refreshing experience, especially coming back.

Because here is the thing despite all the “insiders” and the “Hollywood drama” he is doing well, isn’t he?

The last time I was here, he was struggling to find work, people are him are cutting him off, directors are avoiding him, he is black listed, and struggling for money.

Yet he is being invited places, he is getting roles, he is active again on starting point, and he seems to still be likeable despite his marriage.

I’ll tel you what I learned from being away, fandom drama is not real drama and what happens on tumblr stays on tumbler.

Are there people out there who don’t like the woman he is as with because of her age? Sure, yes. But the majority of the public do not care.

You know why that is? Because he doesn’t talk about it.

Despite what many here tried to convince me for so long, he is private. Because no one out side of here knows anything.

What people are calling “public” or “over exposure” is truly not.

People here really think they represent the majority of the fandom and the general public.

I have zero idea what has people losing their mind for the past month but I know it’s insignificant because it didn’t make the general news.

I sorry if I am being mean but this fandom frustrates me.

I very happy for him and all the work he is getting, especially for an unemployed actor with no prospects

See what I did there 😅

Anyways, just wanted to say my peace ✌🏼

[wanderlust-in-my-soul]

My weekly roundup CW 16

I try to write down my thoughts after watching stuff to create a little weekly ranking in relation to the previous week on my, most of the times, quiet sundays (and because I love lists and this is a good excuse for me to create a new OneNote journal!).

But first, my winner of the most hilarious subtitle of the week goes to:

→ 1. The Eighth Sense (ep 7+8)

Pain. Fuck man! The thing is, I can understand JaeWon so well. His pain that just made him numb. A person can only take so much pain before it powers down. One of the strangest and scariest feelings ever. And in a weird way, very comfortable in such situations. The body and mind trying to protect themselves. For JaeWon, the absolutely logical conclusion was to break off contact, to emotionally hurt JiHyun so that he would leave him alone, so that Jaewon's own heart wouldn't start bleeding again and again, even though it's been bleeding all along, only that he can't notice it himself anymore. But everyone can see it. And I hate EunJi for how she pretends to love him but just ignores how much he's suffering. That is not love, that is torture. And TaeHyung…the hate I feel for him is almost as much as the hate I have for EunJi. EunJi I can almost understand, but TaeHyung? He pretends to be JaeWon's friend and then can't forgive him for (deservedly) hitting him after making fun of JiHyun's accident. What the hell is wrong with him? Apparently he was just there to get rich off of JaeWon's background and was hoping for a good contact for future careers. Bright spot of the episode was JiHyun's friend who I just wanted to cuddle!

Absolute highlight of this week for me: The portrayal of light and dark of life and death. As many have already written about it, JiHyun came out of his near death experience with more confidence and courage, he is just bursting with life, while JaeWon died for him inside after the accident. How can he live happily or live at all when he is dragging everyone around him into the abyss. JaeWon is darkness, sadness, depression while JiHyun is the exact opposite and I hope JaeWon will reach out to him next week and let some light back into his life.

↑ 2. Our Dining Table (ep 3)

I just love it. This series is so calm and pleasant. It is the calming point of my week. Yutaka is such a precious and sweet person and I can totally understand Minoru falling in love with him. The idea of the zoo in the apartment! I was so ecstatic! And how Yutaka indirectly confesses that he likes Minoru too, but Minoru misunderstands and thinks Yutaka meant Tane with that statement. And Yutaka's luchbox looks just mega delicious! I'm always hungry when I watch the series 😅 Would love to make myself a rice ball now!

↑ 3. A Boss And A Babe (ep 8)

Okay, so Gun is really very obvious about the two of them. Even though I don't think much of office gossip and I wish them both all the luck in the world, he should know a little better. Nonetheless, I can so understand him reaching for his safe haven after Time attacked him like that. And I love that Cher has become his safe haven. And the scenes with the two of them are just sweet. I think Jack did something wrong with his lecture. A boss can have a happy relationship with an intern. Just because society doesn't think it's good or bad movies try to sell the stereotype of the little office chick, doesn't mean that two grown people in different positions can't be happy together. Of course an abuse of power can happen, but it doesn't here and Jack should see that. He should understand that not only Cher is good for Gun, but the other way around. But good, a little drama has to happen. The episode totally caught up with me again.

☼ 4. Step by Step (ep 1)

The first episode was very promising. I wish with all my heart that Pat would explode at some point and shut his colleague up. The preview for next week didn't look very pleasant, but that's what previews are, they want to captivate the viewer after all. I'm incredibly fond of Pat. I think he's one of those characters I can relate to quite well….a little yes man who doesn't know his limits yet. Saying no is hard, but over time you learn that it's no use trying to please people all the time. I liked the encounters in the café and how freely Pat can talk. I hope he stays as open and honest, just with a little more self-reflection and more courage to say no in the future.

↓ 5. Chains of Heart (ep 10 Final)

I still don't get it. So Din cooperated with the police and then in the end went on a solo destroyer trip where he didn't even get shot, although five men and one of them with a machine gun shot at him…The kid is made of Teflon or something, bullets just bounce off him. Then he has to kill Inpha too…Why? Why not wait for the police, who arrived shortly after! What really bothers me the most, after thinking about it a bit, is that there was not one clarifying conversation between Din and Ken. Just a one night stand. Once all desire washed out and then goodbye…And Din still says he has sworn never again to let go of the hand of his beloved. I don't get it. I would be so pissed if I were Ken. And the open ending with the 7th of the 7th month…Yeah sure, they will see each other again and have a nice life together, on the run or Din has taken the next identity. I just would have liked to see it, but as the series says, Din wasn't seen again by anyone. Okay, let's take it that way. Now the series is over and I'm trying not to let my slight disappointment with the ending affect my rating of the series as a whole. In general, I thought the series was quite good. It was visually appealing and I really liked Ken and Mr. Lues/Din's chemistry. It's funny how in the beginning we all felt like we were sitting there not knowing what exactly was actually happening. It was definitely a journey I really enjoyed, even if the ending was a bit disappointing. But sometimes it's not the destination that matters, but the journey. And that was good.

→ 6. Naked Dining (ep 2)

Futa realized that he had led a very self-centered life and had simply forgotten the promise he made to his grandmother as a child to travel with her to Mexico to see the ancient ruins, while she had not. That's why she wanted the culinary trip around the world. I find it very sad and incredibly beautiful at the same time. And Futa realizes that work is not everything in life and who would be better suited to accompany him in his change than his soulmate Mahori. Well, it's implied anyway that Mahori definitely believes in something like Soulmates and the flashbacks to the past are certainly meant to hint at something. I am curious and look forward to the next episode.

↑ 7. My Story (ep 2)

Sometimes the most beautiful thing you can see all week is two young men applying lotion and massaging each other.

Zeke and Fifth, both are clearly enjoying each other's touches and I think they realize they already like each other a bit. Absolute favorite couple of the series for me. I just love them. The series is good and cute and free on youtube, so check it out!

☼ 8. The Promise (ep 6)

It continues. While Phu rushed to his grandmother (without telling Nan, of course, but he was supposed to keep his distance anyway…) after she had a little accident, Nan wakes up from his anger. We also see what really happened that night, when in the previous flashbacks they always just kissed each other briefly. They didn't just kiss briefly, they kissed...long. Afterwards Nan, drunk as he was, fell asleep. Anyway, this time Nan travels after Phu and the two don't talk much, but Phu has a nightmare (and of course they sleep in the same bed) and begs Nan in the dream not to leave him. And Nan, quite enraptured by this, promises him not to go anywhere and I'm sitting here just thinking: awwwww!

☼ 9. Our Skyy 2 (ep 1+2)

Hm. I don't know. I don't know if it was the mystical time travel or the fact that Palm was a little too sweetly cute for me, but I didn't think the first two episodes were that good. I have no idea why they couldn't be together in the past, but now they've been sent back to change their future so they can stay together forever by undoing their curse? I just didn't understand what exactly caused their bad fate to be lifted now. But maybe it was just too sweet-talking for me. Palm has always been very corny in his choice of words, but he overdid it a bit in both episodes. I thought the ending was sweet, all good, but it probably won't be my favorite.

↓ 10. Bed Friend (ep 10 Final)

That was a sugar battle. I've rarely seen so much sweetness in one episode. *At this point I had to edit my text, because I was remembered that Uea is seeing a therapist and taking his meds...I just forgot about that, because it was handled very shortly. The love-heals-everything-part was still the focus.

In the end, it got a little too corny with the proposal in the office, so that everyone could see it. Now that wouldn't have worked anywhere else? I don't know. If King had chosen the place because it was important for their relationship, the place where they met or something like that, okay, but just so people could hide…I don't know. But I'm also sometimes a romance trumpet and can't watch things like this well without cringing.

→ 11. Tin Tem Jai (ep 8)

I somehow can't see them being a couple now. Except that Park is a bit nicer to Tin, I don't see any difference to before. They are hugging each other a little bit longer and Park calls Tin Babe, but I can't really see it. It could just be a brotherly relationship. And I don't mean that there is no kiss or anything like that, but they just don't have the vibes of a couple in love. And how old is Tin now? I'm so confused! And why do you have to turn a sweet scene into a drawn-out torture of the nerves, taking everything sweet out of it (a five-minute build-up until Park remembers that the password is Tin's birthday, an important date he can't forget, and then did forget…?).

→ 12. PastSenger (ep 7)

Oh man…this show just doesn't get any better. I love it when couples, once they get together, still act like every touch is too much or are surprised when they touch and get shy when it might come to a kiss. I really don't have much more to say about that. I also don't know what's going to happen for the remaining five episodes. The plot doesn't give much away at the moment, except that Kiao wants to go back to his time, and of course that becomes more and more difficult the more time passes and the deeper the relationship with Bamee goes. I don't have a plan how this is going to end. I think I'll put it on-hold for now until I eventually binge it. Currently, I don't feel like watching any more.

[sydney-carton-of-sour-milk]

The Many Illustrators of A Tale of Two Cities 8: Edmund H. Garrett (1/2)

...& a small mystery that solved itself!

I've been looking forward to this one for quite a while!

1 / 2 || 2 / 2

Edmund H. Garrett created dozens of vignette illustrations for this two-volume 1894 edition of A Tale of Two Cities. What makes this edition special - besides the sheer volume of work and Garrett's attention to detail in regard to characterization - is that most of these illustrations appeared in the page with the text, much like Rafaello Busoni's!

What are even more interesting for me personally, though, are the larger rectangular illustrations which do not appear within the text-pages - because my original source for these did not contain those at all! The thing is, many months after finding my original source, I did actually come across the first of the larger illustrations (the one pictured above) in a photo of an open book on eBay or Etsy, and because it was the only illustration pictured in the listing, I assumed it was from a new mystery illustrator that I would discover at some point. Imagine my delight when, on a whim, I set out to find higher-quality versions of these vignettes on the Internet Archive, only to discover that the illustrator who made the vignettes also made that mystery illustration!

And that's not the only way I got lucky here: While I did manage to find higher-quality versions of both volumes, I actually found them separately (one uploader had apparently only scanned vol. 1, and another had only scanned vol. 2), and these, as far as I could tell, were both the only versions uploaded to the Internet Archive at all - wow! As you probably know by now, I don't get a lot of easy wins with this project, so I'm very grateful when I do😅

And without further ado, here they are: Garrett's illustrations for vol. 1!

Hope you enjoyed - vol. 2's illustrations will be up in two weeks!

& the standard endnote for all posts in this series:

This post is intended to act as the start of a forum on the given illustrator, so if anyone has anything to add - requests to see certain drawings in higher definition (since Tumblr compresses images), corrections to factual errors, sources for better-quality versions of the illustrations, further reading, fun facts, any questions, or just general commentary - simply do so on this post, be it in a comment/tags or the replies!💫