#so many tangents

[still-july]

hi i just finished watching Hank Green's comedy special Pissing Out Cancer and I would like to reiterate:

I fucking love Hank Green.

[wanderingmind867]

I think it's valid to compare the original X-Men and the original Teen Titans. Now, I don't know which group was more true to 60s teen culture. But I do know one thing: The original X-Men seem more relatable. You know why I usually hate most other school kids (I mean, besides a bias since being bullied in grade 4)? Their immaturity. I mean, I can laugh and find things funny too. But school is for learning. It's meant to be serious. And nobody else treated it like that. And so now I don't like teen fiction often because I always side with the authority figures.

This doesn't really explain how I still managed to like Percy Jackson, Harry Potter and other teen fantasy books (that's still all I read, pretty much). But it does explain how I could never get into shows or movies about teens. And yet, I like the original X-Men. Maybe it's because of Professor X, maybe it's because Cyclops feels like the embodiment of my attitude towards school and other students, but it's shockingly relatable. The 60s Teen Titans (from me downloading and skimming one issue a moment ago) seems more like the embodiment of that immaturity I hated. It seems the books had a lot of teen slang and stuff, and that's just annoying to read.

[trans-axolotl]

my gendered experience growing up as an intersex person was overwhelmingly defined by my responses and resistance to everything that got me labeled as a failure: failure to quickly get a gender assigned at birth, failure to go through a normal puberty and grow up into a woman, failure at meeting the standards for "complete womanhood" because of my intersex sex traits, and yet simultaneously failing to ever be acknowledged as a "real man" and being treated as a threat when I expressed I wanted to transition.

before i realized i was a man and came out as trans, the ways that girlhood was denied to me was very often humiliating and painful. locker rooms filled with other girls were a frequent source of shame. there were many big and small ways that i was told that my intersex body made me insufficient, incomplete, broken. i was forced onto estrogen, forced into shaving my body hair, and was constantly being told to change myself to better fit this mystical idea of a "normal woman." and even though I ultimately ended up becoming a man, the denial of girlhood was painful.

but i think that these things would have been even more difficult to navigate as an intersex girl if on top of everything I already said, i was having to cope with the denial of my girlhood while i was forced into boys locker rooms. if my doctors were forcing me onto testosterone hrt and refusing to even discuss estrogen, if all my legal paperwork had "M" on it and was a logistical nightmare to change, if every support group for my intersex variation labeled it as a "men's support group," if the LGBTQ community spaces i tried to join were misogynistic towards me often to the point of exile, if my self determination as an intersex girl was denied in most spaces of my life, and on and on and on. while listing all these things out i also don't want to make it seem like it's all about suffering and pain--so much of transition for me has been about joy in my self determination and how much it feels like a reclamation of autonomy to decide what I want my body and self to be like--i know this is an experience i share with so many of my trans intersex friends.

as an person who was AFAB, although there were many ways that trying to grow up as an intersex girl were a painful, logistical nightmare, many times and places that i was excluded from woman's spaces, etc. however, there was a simultaneous affirmation that i was right to strive for that in the first place. which is logic rooted in some fucked up compulsory dyadism, but also which would have made some things slightly easier or even possible at all if i had wanted to embrace being an intersex girl within this fucked up system.

pretty much every time i've seen people on tumblr talking about "afab transfems" in an intersex context, people seem happy to collapse these experiences and act like there's no meaningful distinction or point in distinguishing between different types of intersex embodiment. it seems incredibly extractive, to be perfectly honest with you--taking terms already used by a community to make meaning of their experiences and to expand and dilute that term enough that it means something pretty different than the original.

it's making me think about the concept of epistemic injustice, which is a term coined by Miranda Fricker to describe oppression related to knowledge, communication, and making meaning of the world. There's two subtypes of epistemic injustice: testimonial injustice and hermeneutical injustice. Testimonial injustice refers to the dynamic where marginalized people are labeled as not credible, excluded from conversations, and their testimony and knowledge is labeled as unreliable, even when they're the ones who are experts and have first hand experience of what people are talking about. (this is why i probably won't make this post rebloggable--i've noticed this pattern on tumblr many times where trans men speaking about transmisogyny get lots of notes and are given a lot of grace, where trans women are silenced, attacked for not having perfect wording, and otherwise delegitimized.)

the second type is called hermeneutical injustice. it describes how marginalized people are denied the right to make sense of the experiences in their own lives. this can look like preventing people from building community, terminology, a political understanding of themselves, and the interpretive resources needed to process how you live in the world.

this is a form of injustice that I think almost all intersex people are very familiar with--we are denied community and interpretive resources to the point that we're told we don't even exist, that intersex isn't a real word, and so many more examples that leave us isolated and with very few options for understanding what we're collectively experiencing. as an intersex person i really intimately understand how frustrating, confusing, and painful it is to not have words for your experiences, your identity, your life.

so it makes me really sad and pissed off when it seems like intersex people seem to be replicating this exact same type of epistemic injustice towards transfems and specifically towards intersex transfems. pretty much every time recently i see people talking about "afab transfems" they're doing so in a way that seems to deny that trans women even have the right to make sense of their own experiences in the world. there seems to be this mindset that these political frameworks, these interpretive resources that transfems have built up are just up for grabs for anyone. and then on top of that has come with it a lot of cruel, hateful language and direct attacks towards many intersex transfems who are facing so much harassment right now.

an important value to me is this idea of reciprocity as a foundation for solidarity. to me reciprocity means that we're prioritizing the ways we care for each other, we're thinking about how we can uplift each other, and we're watching out for extractive or exploitative patterns where one group is constantly expected to be in "solidarity" with another group without getting the same respect and care back toward them. i think that there could be so many ways that intersex people of all genders could share our overlapping experiences and actually be in true, meaningful solidarity with each other, but i barely ever actually see that happen on tumblr. and that pisses me off, because i do think that there's so much we have in common that we could celebrate and support each other with. i feel so much kinship with so, so many of my trans intersex friends, and ways where i see our lives converge. but i don't think that can happen in an environment where there's no acknowledgment of the ways that our experiences will sometimes (often) differ from each other, and the ways that we have unique needs.

another frustration i've had based on this most recent couple months of transmisogynistic intersex posting on tumblr is how intersex people have been mostly ignoring intersex community resources and devaluing the existing intersex terminology that people created to try to meet our needs. so much of what i've seen people describing on tumblr seems to really line up with the term ipsogender. Ipsogender is a term coined by an intersex sociologist Cary Gabriel Costello, and is used to describe intersex people whose gender matches the gender they were medically assigned at birth, but who might not feel like cis or trans fits them, might experience dysphoria, and who might feel like they've ended up transitioning medically or socially in some ways. this is a word that exists that an intersex person put time into coining because they wanted other intersex people to feel seen, embraced, and have ways of understanding themselves and communicating to others, and that's something that's super meaningful to me! and yet, i've rarely seen anyone reference it, and also seen multiple people making fun of it in other spaces online.

there's also intergender, which is another intersex specific gender term used to describe when your gender is inseparable from your intersex traits, and that your intersex identity is intertwined with your gender identity in some way. some people just identify as intergender, others use it as an adjective and exist as an intergender man or woman. intersex terminology like this is really important to me, especially because we're so often denied the right to make sense of our own experiences.

i think ultimately what i wanted to say with this post is just that when i think about intersex community, some of the most important values of intersex community for me are solidarity, care for each other, and affirming our right to define our own existence. and i don't think that can happen in a community where people are acting in extractive ways, harassing and attacking their fellow community members, and being dismissive of the realities of other intersex people's lives.

[faunandfloraas]

[gilgamushroom]

Ok catching up with letters from watson and blanched soldier makes so many of watson's narratives SO hilarious in retrospect líke

Watson's POV: So yeah! I'm always loyal to Holmes even though he doesn't care about me that much :/ but it's alright cause he has a High Intellect and therefore no room for human emotions. Honestly half of the time I'm not even able to keep up with him it's a wonder he sticks with me but I suppose it's part of his habits as a Genius. One time I was briefly sure he had feelings and it made my entire year

Holmes's POV, right off the bat: So I'm recording this case and today I learnt that writing is so hard? Watson is SO good at keeping the public interested. He's so good at so many things. He's smart and incredible and delightful and the ideal helpmate and he's too humble to ever talk about this!! >:( He's my old friend btw. And Biographer. One time he got married AND LEFT ME ALL ALONE IN THE RAIN O SO CRUELY AND SELFISHLY but i forgive him because that's literally the only bad thing he has ever done in his entire life <3 I miss him so much when he's not here :(( Have I mentioned he's my friend? Where was I going with this. Oh yeah. Case.

[blueskittlesart]

i get that people’s first reaction for the religious thing is often negative—being raised irish catholic i experience the same knee-jerk reaction—but that’s because we as adults are approaching the ideology from an adult perspective. we have our own associations with both religion as a concept in general, as well as the social phenomena around religion (and for this post specifically we’re talking about christianity more than anything else). kids don’t have that experience, and so while it might feel really uncomfortable to an adult listening to them speak with such a casual incorporation of it into their worldview, they truly wouldn’t see why that could be. and it’s only when it they’re older and it becomes the only point of perspective or logic for them that it’s truly a problem

EXACTLY. if you don't have a lot of experience with very young children it may be hard to conceptualize, but especially preschool-aged children are still learning LITERALLY EVERYTHING. like, I said the word "collision" when two of my kids ran into each other the other day and then had to have a like 10 minute conversation about what that word means and why I said it. Everything in the world is a new experience for them, including morality, storytelling, and social interaction. there's a specific, scientifically documented developmental stage (usually between ages 2.5-3) where they learn for the first time that they can lie. before that stage, they genuinely don't understand the concept that something can be fake, and it often takes even longer for them to understand that other people, especially adults, can lie to THEM, too. everything in their world is true unless proven otherwise, which can be a scary way for adults to hear religious concepts addressed, since among adults that kind of rhetoric very often goes hand in hand with radical beliefs or conspiracy thought. but for a child, it's just an age-appropriate way to conceptualize religion.

children of that age are also very self-centered in their thinking and largely assume that their lived experience is the same as everyone else's, and that anything outside their own little world doesn't exist. we almost all assumed as kids that our teachers lived at school. I once had a kid with lesbian parents ask me where my 'other mom' was. children I babysit for will very often be upset that I don't inherently know where things are in their house, because to them it's the most obvious thing in the world. they're still developing empathy and the ability to think from someone else's perspective doesn't exist yet. again, irt religion, when that kind of sentiment is expressed by an adult it's usually a supremacist or evangelical who believes that all other religions are inherently evil and their religion is inherently good, but that's not what it means when a kid expresses self-centered thought about their religion. it just means that they haven't yet learned that other people view the world differently.

[hayaku14]

kaito buying every ticket to every soccer game available just to see that excited look on shinichi's face

[originalaccountname]

Mori Ougai’s belief as the boss is [...] “The boss stands on top of the organization, and at the same time, be the slave of all.” For the sake of the organization, the boss must always take the “logical optimal solution.” That is the duty of the boss. [...] “Therefore, no matter how much your heart aches, you have to ignore your personal feelings.”

Kafka Asagiri, for the BSD exhibition

On Mori and regret.

This man acts based on his perceived "optimal solution". It means relying on cold logic, detached from (his own and others') emotions. In that way, he fits right in as one of the smart characters of BSD, contrasting for example Dazai's way of working with/around people's feelings, and Fyodor's way of manipulating and twisting those feelings into monsters.

Mori remains cold, logical, distant, efficient. It meant disregarding Yosano's and the soldiers' deteriorating mental health during the war because the concept of an army that cannot be wiped out was too good. It meant following Natsume's plan and taking the old boss' place himself to fix Yokohama's underground and protect the city and its people. It also meant disposing of Mimic by sacrificing Oda in order to get the special ability business permit, despite (and perhaps because of) Dazai's attachment to the man.

The thing is, humans are not logical creatures, and will inevitably encounter conflicting emotions.

(does this look like the face of a man without regrets to you?)

Mori in Dark Era tried to pass on to Dazai his practice of putting aside his own feelings for the sake of choosing the most efficient solution that will benefit the group. It backfired spectacularly, so much so even, that Mori regrets it to this day.

For the BSD exhibition, Asagiri wrote some individual character commentaries, all very interesting insights into their characters and the writing intentions. For Mori, here's what he wrote:

“He who fell out of the optimal solution” Mori Ougai’s belief as the boss is described in the novel “Dark Era” and “Dazai, Chuuya, Fifteen”. That is “The boss stands on top of the organization, and at the same time, be the slave of all.” For the sake of the organization, the boss must always take the “logical optimal solution.” That is the duty of the boss. There is an unspoken additional point to it. “Therefore, no matter how much your heart aches, you have to ignore your personal feelings.” We can catch a glimpse of that in this scene. [the ADA-PM alliance meeting] Mori’s expressions after “Burnt it.” and “Like what you did to your predecessor”, gave us a glimpse of his true feelings that were made sacrifices for the sake of the “logical optimal solution”. (By the way, it goes without saying that Dazai is inducing Mori’s thoughts by words that will make him regret the past. It is to make him decide to form an “alliance”.) source and translation: Popopretty

(notice the inclusion of Hirotsu in this scene. Remember that later, Hirotsu suggests that Dazai knows why Mori did what he did to overthrow the old boss, which, in my opinion, is both a proof of Dazai's support in Mori's goal, and a reminder to uphold it.)

One of my favourite parts of the Dark Era light novel is a small scene during the epilogue that was not adapted into the anime. This is two weeks after Dazai defected:

To quote Asagiri again, "Therefore, no matter how much your heart aches, you have to ignore your personal feelings." Mori is conflicted about the outcome of the Mimic incident. He holds in his hands the Silver Oracle he himself gave to Oda, and reflects on its purpose: to "help the man mentioned above without hesitation in the face of any and all trials". Didn't he fail to do just that with Oda? Didn't he set him up and sent him to his doom? Didn't he abandon him to his trial?

But he rationalizes the events by saying he got the permit they so badly needed. No matter if he sacrificed one of his men. No matter if he drove Dazai away. He accomplished his priceless goal. It was a total success.

And yet, he poorly folds a paper airplane with the very Silver Oracle he gave Oda, throws it, watches it crash immediately, and mourns the loss of his right-hand man, without ever moving on.

But we have a direct example of Mori expressing regret.

The perception that Mori in BEAST is a completely different character than Mori is in canon, when that perception doesn't extend to any other character from that universe, rubs me the wrong way. The characters in BEAST are very similar to their canon selves, with some core traits getting a new twist. They are all one or two major life changes away from becoming these versions of themselves. As far as we know, Mori's only life-altering event was being forcefully removed from the Port Mafia by Dazai, and secretly put in charge of Atsushi's old orphanage.

Mori unambiguously made that orphanage a better place, as stated by Atsushi himself. BEAST!Mori is a lot softer, vulnerable and honest. That Mori offers to be a father to Atsushi while he heals. He also expresses regret in not being able to help Dazai when he was in his care.

I think it's very interesting, especially when knowing that Asagiri wrote both BEAST and Fifteen at the same time for the Dead Apple movie, because in Fifteen we have this:

The beginning of the first chapter of Fifteen is a gold mine. It is narrated from Mori's point of view, the man of logic and calculations, and yet it is full of doubt. He is alone and struggling to fix everything with so many people against him. But, throughout this scene about grasping at the Port Mafia's power, there is also this secondary thought being woven in, of Mori having started to actually care for Dazai.

The teenager is scary to him, smart enough to be a threat should he decide to be done with all this and turn against him, and yet, he immediately (and with a hint of sadness) finds that Dazai reminds him of himself. This lonely, lonely man found a kindred spirit, bright enough to grasp any situation in seconds and prone to using an uncomfortable obsession to divert and keep you guessing his true intentions. Mori entered Mentor Mode™ then. He taught Dazai his ways, he shared his struggles and thought process, he fought tooth and nail to keep him alive.

So when he asked Dazai why he wanted to die, it was with the concern of someone who has started to care. It was with the mind of someone who is trying to prevent the worst by fixing the problem at its source.

(translation: Reneray)

But it's also that self-projection/ability to relate that made him drive Dazai away, when he pushed too hard and forced Dazai to adhere to his optimal solution philosophy. Because Dazai cannot separate himself from his attachments, could not ignore his emotions like Mori does, and chose Oda over Mori's logic. From Dazai's point of view, that was betrayal. Mori and him were accomplices!

Dazai planted the idea that Mori was afraid of him taking over as boss, and Mori seems to agree with that thought (would it be because he feared for his life, or for Dazai's ability to replace him?) Yet, for a man afraid of his closest subordinate backstabbing him, he seems to be hanging on quite hard to the possibility of Dazai coming back, leaving his seat open to this day, inviting him back twice in the same arc, and...

(yeah I used this picture at the start too. "I hAvE nO rEgReTs" he says)

Mori may try to convince himself he feels no regrets and no guilt over his own actions by weighting gains and losses objectively, but he still hurts and has a very hard time moving on. He's human despite his best efforts, prone to mistakes and doubts. He's lonely and wishes to impart his knowledge onto others. His cold logic has both helped him in fixing the city, and alienated him from some of the people he most cared about.

In a similar vein, should the ADA employee transfer be of topic again, and should Mori clash with Yosano again, I wish we get to see some similar conflicting emotions in Mori between the usefulness of Yosano's ability, and Yosano herself as a person. The war was 14 years ago, that's a long time, and I want to believe that counts for something.

[harmonysanreads]

I feel like Sunday operates on a rewards system when it comes to his darling and bc he's the head of the Oak Family, good behavior is expected at all times. Be good and come with him to this party, and he'll let you go out with those friends you've been pestering him about seeing. If you receive that troublesome IPC ambassador before his meeting starts like a good little spouse, he'll take you out shopping for anything you desire.

Hm... I can see this method working with darlings who are more on the defiant side and require a steady stream of stimulation to function. Within the dreamscape, the number of things Sunday can't do is limited. So it's remarkably easy to lead anyone with a gap in knowledge about his resources to the direction of his preference.

Sunday can be extremely lenient if you cooperate with him (it's the scenario he would prefer as well) and believe it or not, it's quite easy to pull at his heartstrings if you know which ones are the weakest. To get him to apply harsher methods though, you'd need someone who challenges him, corners him enough for him to pull out that metaphorical shield. Or at least, this would be the fastest route.

The handicap to this is that the more flighty a darling is, the more transparent they are to him. So, he's usually half a step ahead in getting them to stay in the safe space he's hand-crafted. The mansion allotted to Sunday may be grand, but there's a disappointing lack of enrichment compared to other parts of the dreamscape. Not to worry, it'd only take one command from Sunday to make it more palatable, if only you are agreeable.

But what if we're talking about a darling who's exactly like that? Pliant, obedient, if not a tiny bit antsy due to Sunday's overprotectiveness? The reward system works in this case as well. Not to soothe a purposefully inflicted boredom, but to make them dependent on the fancies and comfort of his embrace so much that the notion of ever stepping a foot outside makes their heart quiver in anxiety. After all, the best way to keep a prisoner from escaping is to make sure they never know they're in prison.

[alienglowgarden]

Was having a drawpile w my bestie and somehow my hand slipped and iwatex'd.... and then it slipped again ...and again and again.... and also a bonus Marz if she was still fat from another time.

[wonder-worker]

Wild how we know that Elizabeth Woodville was officially appointed to royal councils in her own right during her husband’s reign and fortified the Tower of London in preparation of a siege while 8-months pregnant and had forces gathering at Westminster “in the queen’s name” in 1483 – only for NONE of these things to be even included, let alone explored, in the vast majority of scholarship and historical novels involving her.

[laora-ryn]

Chester, [ERROR], and Jonathan Sims: The Anthill Theory

Hello Tumblr, may I present a follow up to my initial thesis that [ERROR] is Jon? As well as a rebuttal to the argument I've seen floating around:

"[ERROR] can't be Jon! Jon is in the computers!"

Why are you treating these like two distinct eventualities?

Jon died as an omniscient, omnipotent demi-god half a step down from The Eye itself. Jon died at the exact moment that he was pulled through a rift in space-time. If Jon survived that, I doubt he'd end up human on the other side. He'd probably end up as something else entirely.

Something none of us, and none of the Protocol-universe characters, have ever seen before.

"Imagine you are an ant, and you have never before seen a human - "

1. We have Chester, who has Jon's voice, and has shown signs of autonomy and a personality where Norris and Augustus have not.

I have another meta post picking apart the fr3-d1 stuff, but for the sake of staying on topic, I will show an abbreviated, summarized list from that post below:

Mystery emails sent to various OIAR employees:

Episode 4: Gwen receives an email from an unknown source showing Lena trying to kill Klaus

Episode 4: "the system" sends Alice a notification that Sam searched for "Magnus" and "protocol"

Episode 7: Sam receives an email from a "John" with an internal email address, with Gerry's name and address

Episode 20: Sam receives an email from a garbled email address, with documents from 1999 regarding Starkwall and TMI

Error messages:

Episode 3: Alice receives a jmj error that Colin troubleshoots. Freddy snarks back at both of them

Episode 17: Alice receives a jmj error that Gwen troubleshoots. There are plenty of error noises, but imo it comes across less snarky than it did in episode 3

Other miscellaneous interactions:

Episode 5: Alice: "what the hell is wrong with everyone today?" OIAR computer, not having been touched or interacted with: [error noise]

Episode 17: Chester reads a universe-hopping statement to Celia

Episode 19: Sam asks Alice to talk with him about the Magnus Institute. Immediately, Alice's computer throws an error, like it wants her to stop working and talk with Sam

Magnus Institute Statements read to Sam:

All of the below statements are read out by Chester, and are (meant to be, in 21) read out to Sam specifically:

Episode 1: RedCanary

Episode 9: the cursed dice Magnus statement. This one starts on its own, while Sam is doing the Response Dept paperwork

Episode 14: the snake emporium. I'd almost mark this one as too much of a stretch, but Sam himself caught the Institute mention and was bothered by it

Episode 19: the one with Newton's alchemical tree that talks about the Protocol

Episode 21: the one about the Dome construction in the 90s, which Alice intercepts on Sam's computer

As far as I can see, the only statement that mentions the Magnus Institute that isn't read by Chester to Sam is the one that is read by Chester to Celia, as mentioned above

In terms of Norris and Augustus:

Martin was pulled through the rift at the exact same time as Jon, except as someone mostly human. Relatively human.

Jonah was too, but Jonah was already a static dead body at the moment of the rift - it wasn't the released potential energy of his death that catalyzed and pulled everything through the rift.

It makes sense, to me, that if all three of them are here, Jon is in a uniquely powerful/sentient position in comparison to the other two. Which leads us to point 2:

2. We have [ERROR], exhibiting characteristics that are indicative of Jon and no one else

See my other meta post for more info, but in summary:

The tape recorders spawned specifically for Jon in TMA, via the Web

Did even Elias show abilities to compel people to give their statement? He could tell people their statement, and force images into their heads, but could he force it out of their mouths? I don't remember seeing that

Along with the other evidence that isn't Jon-specific but is indicative of a TMA character:

They were initially trapped underneath the Magnus Institute - which could also be Jonah, or Martin

Their apparent desire to protect Gwen and "all of them" - which could also be Martin, or some non-familiar benevolent being

Jon being Chester and Jon being [ERROR] are not mutually exclusive.

Who's to say Jon, the Archivist, or what's become of him, or what's left of him, isn't the fingernail, and the boot, and the eye? Maybe he's even something else we, the ant, never live to see, or don't have the senses to perceive at all!

Additionally!

I think this might even tentatively explain why [ERROR] is voiced by Beth Eyre instead of Jonny - beyond "it would be way too obvious if they want it to be a plot twist"

If Jon/the Archivist is split into multiple parts of the same whole, in this universe. If, in the chaos of interdimensional travel, traits/attributes/parts of Jon were not distributed equally or correctly. For our anthill example, perhaps the color of our gazing eye, or the rubber material of our stomping boot, was applied to our fingernail instead. Maybe [ERROR] should have Jon's voice, but they don't. Maybe they didn't have a voice at all. We didn't hear them say anything at all in episode 10, only take a deep breath

Maybe they had to take a voice from one of their victims. Do you think there was a reason that we heard the autopsy statement secondhand, after the doctor transcribed it, rather than the victim's voice herself?

(When, as far as I know, the common ways to record information during autopsies is either with a voice recorder, or dictating to a secondary person to write, who was demonstrably not present? When, by all rights, there should have been a voice recorder present?)

I'm currently working on a master TMAGP timeline (and a TMA one otl), but an extremely abbreviated, specific version of it is as follows:

9 March: Sam and Alice visit the Magnus Institute and release [ERROR]

20 March: the autopsy victim is found dead in a park

22 March: Alice encounters the drowning woman

12 April: [ERROR] appears during Ink5oul's attack on Gwen

How many victims do they have, since Sam let them loose? Is it just the ones we've already seen, or were there others too?

This could go off in about 5000 different directions so I'm going to cut it here, but what I'm getting at here is - it makes a LOT of sense to me that we might be looking at another "creatures far beyond our comprehension" here; it'd make a lot of sense thematically; and it's just really freaking cool, if I'm being honest!!

[now-you-sound-like-a-jedi]

Not me accidentally derailing my own fic by getting too invested in exploring how the Wrong Jedi arc might have played out differently if Satine were alive and on Coruscant, because holy shit is that an interesting plotline to write her into.

Like, here's someone who has been falsely accused of murder before (twice) and has had to go on the run through Coruscant like Ahsoka now does, who knows from experience how easy it is to frame someone for something they didn't do, and who would understand the drive that Ahsoka has to solve it herself because she can't trust the Senate/Republic to treat her fairly.

And Barriss' whole point about how the Jedi used to be peacekeepers but now they're just instruments of war perpetuating the violence is in itself something which Satine wouldn't disagree with, but Barriss obviously takes it to the extreme.

But Satine also deeply believes that "even extremists can be reasoned with" and would have her own reasons for sympathising with the way that exposure to extreme violence in adolescence can drive an angry young woman (like Barriss, and also like Bo-Katan) to do pretty awful things because violence has become the only language in which she can make herself heard, even though she would be horrified by the violence itself.

[snail-scholar]

TW: YAPPING

ashley being a girl is so important to me it's not even funny.

i think she has become a sort of comfort character for me. her being so wrong, so flawed, so evil gives me a sense of catharsis many other characters failed to replicate.

through her dialogue, her personality, her character... she feels like the horrors of being a woman incarnate. wether people choose to acknowledge it or not, because society expects different things from boys and girls, they're treated differently when they differ from the standards imposed on them. that's why i think ashley's impact would be very different if she were a man, hell, it would probably be a very different story, with a whole new character.

she is the one who cleans the house and cooks, despite andrew being the parentified sibling. she is the one who is insecure about her appearance and sees sex as a transaction. she is the one who has bursting, explosive emotions that tend to be dismissed. she is the one who can't help feeling competitive over other women. she is a nightmare, and instills nightmares on others, all while being our unladylike girl with awesome fat tits.

i was raised as a girl, and grew up autistic. it wasn't great. and although my past differs from ashley's, when i see her i think to myself, "she gets it."

i see a lot of trans girlies finding comfort in ashley too. bpd girlies. girls who were othered. maybe we want the sense of freedom to feel anger about past experiences. maybe she is just a healthy(?) way to deal with the inherent darkness(tm). i'm not entirely sure. but i think there are many reasons women can connect with ashley.

i mean, outside of tumblr she was hated and very few even bothered to look at things from her perspective. and maybe i am ignorant, but as far as i know, the majority of the fanbase outside tumblr is (very) normie men.

they don't even understand cannibalism!

[axolotlclown]

So I finished Moominvalley season 4 and here is my review:

Of course, spoilers ahead! It's long. It's detailed. It's a bit much, and I spent hours writing it.

I greatly disliked this season, not just from one particular angle. When Moominvalley first came out, it was advertised as the first narrative-style adaptation. This would imply one concrete story that ran throughout the show. They said the story would take time and required patience, but there was a larger narrative story. What was that story exactly? In the beginning, each character was established with certain flaws that they needed to grow from.

For Moomintroll, throughout season 1, we see him struggle with his father's expectations. He never quite makes his own decisions—either doing what he's told or what other people in his life would do. In the last episode of the season, Midwinter Ancestor, Moomintroll is told by Too-Tikky to not open the closet door. Going against her wishes, he does so anyway. This is the first instance of Moomintroll making a decision for himself. In the end, it was a bad decision, and he regretted it, but it still was a big moment. We understand the importance of this journey when he changes out the picture by his bedside table. It was a baby photo with his parents; now, it's a photo of Moomintroll fully grown. This was meant to denote a journey of independence.

We see him continue with this struggle in season 2. The Hobgoblin's hat adds to the internalized identity crisis. During the lighthouse arc, Moomintroll is mostly doing his own thing, somewhat. Although, I think that cutting out his glade from the book sort of hurt this theme of independence. I hoped that they would revisit that somehow, but they never did. In season 3, Lonely Mountain, we see a sort of regression with Moomintroll. (Ignore how this affected Snufkin, I'll come back to this later.) When Moomintroll unpacks his things, we see a collection of items that represent Moomintroll's past. One of these items was the old baby picture. Aside from this episode, we don't see any notable growth from Moomintroll this season.

In season 4, we watch Moomintroll fall right back into his father's shadow. He continues to struggle to carve his own path. The set up for Comet in Moominland was promising, but ultimately did not deliver. When Moomintroll goes against his friends to make a decision for himself, it turns out to be a bad decision that he regrets later, and someone else has to guide him out of the situation.

Moomintroll ends from the same place he started as a character. All growth is erased and ignored. While this is the most egregious example—with him being the protagonist—he is not the only character that this happens with.

Snufkin probably upsets me the most, as he had so much potential to be the most interesting character in the series. In season 1, The Spring Tune, we see where Snufkin is starting as far as his strengths and flaws go. What particularly intrigued me was his relationship to attachment. We see that Snufkin ultimately fears abandonment, and he copes with this in conflicting ways. He wants to be with Moomintroll out of fear of being left behind, but he is afraid that he feels this way. He tries to create distance between him and Moomintroll in an attempt to ease what he experiences as pain. This is demonstrated further in the next episode, The Last Dragon in the World, when he frees the dragon. We see his struggle with responsibility and commitment in Snufkin and the Park Keeper.

In season 2, The Hobgoblin's Hat, Snufkin is explaining to Moomintroll what the King's Ruby is. The ruby functions as a metaphor for love throughout the season. Moomintroll imagines that the Hobgoblin must love this ruby, while Snufkin argues that he only wants to possess it. While both may be correct in their own ways, they fail to understand each other. As a result, Snufkin decides to leave Moomintroll out of fear of being possessed himself under the false pretense that he is helping with the hat (he did not). We never visit this plot point again.

Snufkin has some large developments in season 3. In the Lonely Mountain, we see Snufkin break down his walls and let Moomintroll in. He acknowledges his responsibility to him and his longing to see him. Unfortunately, this aspect of his character is completely abandoned in season 4.

Back to season 1, Snufkin and the Park Keeper, we get a flashback in which Snufkin is enjoying a party with Moomintroll until he is overwhelmed by the presence of others. He winds up abandoning Moomintroll and the valley. He does this again in season 2, The Hobgoblin's Hat, as discussed above. In season 3, Snufkin and the Fairground, Snufkin chooses not to abandon his responsibility to Moomintroll or the valley. When faced with an uncomfortable challenge, he chooses to stay and support Moomintroll.

In season 4, The Great Cold, when faced with a crowded challenge, Snufkin abandons Moomintroll again. While he appears later in the episode, it felt disingenuous to me. The original problem had already been solved. In Comet in Moominvalley, Snufkin does not abandon Moomintroll. In fact, he makes an active effort to stay by his side. But it feels strange, almost undeserved? We saw so little of Snufkin this season, and when we did, he spent his screen time backtracking his progress.

In season 3, Lonely Mountain, Snufkin has a small monologue about listening to the campfire as the sparks dance and fly. Well, the whole episode was about listening. Anyway, that was a call back to the season 1 episode, The Invisible Child, in which Too-Tikky tells Moomintroll that there are many lost souls in Moominvalley that needed to be heard. The screen then cut to Snufkin leaving the valley. It would have been really cool to find out what that meant!

His abandonment issues never really get addressed. Refusing to let Snufkin meet his father was just baiting the audience. It was also just bad writing! What's his deal—where's his lore?? Who made him like this? Why is he so afraid of intimacy? Why are basic fundamental questions about this main character being left unanswered?

It really is disappointing. Every adaptation (and the books, if we're being honest) treat Snufkin like a stoic hero. He doesn't want to be looked up to, yet he's always painted as a character that you should. This is the first adaptation that gave him flaws. He felt like a character that needed growth and time. He was never given either.

I won't spend so much time on Snorkmaiden, even though she was robbed, too. She never grew to be more independent apart from Moomintroll. In the same vein as Moomintroll and Snufkin, her character ends exactly the way she started. All of her character growth vanished in seasons 3 and 4. I love this version of Snorkmaiden. I certainly prefer it to her other portrayals. But the writers screwed her over so bad, it's heartbreaking.

None of the characters actually learn or change. Everyone sort of becomes a static character, which makes any semblance of a plot impossible to write. For the fun of it, I will try to decode a plot, anyway.

So, you're not crazy. Moomintroll and Snufkin were set up to be endgame. There was a way to make Moomintroll and Snorkmaiden endgame in a satisfying way, but the writers chose against it. It's a very suspicious backtracking that reeks of queerbaiting, but let me explain the narrative romance angles first.

I feel unsatisfied with the ending Moomintroll and Snorkmaiden got. Throughout seasons 1 and 2, they would frequently lie for each other's approval, and jealousy was a common player. They would ignore each other when someone more interesting came along. Ultimately, what led to the break up in season 2, Farwell Snorkmaiden, was the understanding that Snorkmaiden was just more mature than Moomintroll. In her own way, she was ready for a serious committed relationship, and Moomintroll was not.

However, there was never a formal conversation of them getting back together. They just sort of were? And all of the problems in their relationship were never resolved. They still lied to each other and ignored one another for something shinier all the time. It was irritating. These two became no better than Sniff in the end. I'm standing on business with that.

I'm also not convinced that Moomintroll and Snorkmaiden can have a healthy relationship after the finale. They will definitely break up again. They haven't resolved any of the issues that led to their original break.

Okay, so Moomintroll and Snufkin. Let's chat about that for a while. The first three episodes establish Moomintroll, Snufkin, and their relationship together (in that order). We, as viewers, are led to believe that their relationship (either romantic or platonic) is the key to understanding the story. Throughout seasons 1 and 2, every single motif for love (lanterns, fires, the ruby, etc.) that is introduced is done with Moomintroll and Snufkin. Regardless, different expressions of love and intimacy were the focal point of the show. That was almost completely abandoned in seasons 3 and 4. While turning the focus on the greater community could have added depth, it ultimately detracted from the close personal relationships that were driving the narrative.

So, the Groke. She does not just represent fear, she is a reflection of each character's own fears. I loved this! I thought it was a really cool concept, and the ways that she was portrayed in seasons 1 and 2 were excellent. Here's the thing. In her introduction in season 1, Night of the Groke, we are also introduced to lanterns/fires as a motif about love. The Groke is chasing love and craves acceptance. It's not quite something you can catch, and trying to is a failed endeavor. Brilliant episode. We saw what Snufkin's greatest fear was earlier in the season (loving Moomintroll), but we needed to pay more attention to see Moomintroll's fear. I think it was complex. On one hand, with the lanterns, Moomintroll could also be afraid to love Snufkin. However, as we saw at the end of Moomintroll and the Seahorses, he needs to learn independence before he can love someone. This was also reinforced through Snorkmaiden in Farwell Snorkmaiden. The fires and lanterns were constant reoccurring motifs (not just for Moomintroll and Snufkin, though that's where the focus is right now). Rewatch the season 3 episode, Lonely Mountain, and that one monologue that Snufkin gives will start to make sense.

By abandoning these important motifs, the Groke's conclusion feels unfinished. It just felt wrong. In the end, she did just represent fear. This completely erased the layer of depth that she had to start.

For Moomintroll to learn to be more independent and self-reliant, he needed to learn from Snufkin. For Snufkin to learn to accept love and responsibility, he needed to learn from Moomintroll. They were the keys to each other's growth. When they were together, the plot moved. When they weren't, the episodes felt like filler for the most part.

Also, small detail, despite the change in one photo (the baby photo to grown Moomintroll) the photo with Moomintroll and Snufkin never changed. Which narratively makes no sense.

The writers originally set this up for them to be romantically involved. Which, given the context of their dynamic in the books and comics, makes sense. It's not as much of a stretch as people are trying to gaslight themselves into believing. These characters were originally heavily queer coded. However, the original text is sort of a tragedy. No matter what happened, Moomintroll and Snufkin could never truly be together—no matter how much they tried. This mirrored Tove Jansson's relationship to her first fiance Atos Wirtanen as well as her relationship to her own queerness. However, it looked like Moominvalley wanted something different. Queer people had enough tragic stories told already. This one would tell queer kids that it was going to be okay, and that they were going to find love. Tove Jansson's original message about love and freedom was finally going to be understood.

Instead, not only was this potentially beautiful story abandoned, it was mocked. In the season 4 episode, Midsummer Meddling, there was a scene I found quite shocking. Sniff had convinced himself that he was to fall in love with somebody. One of his "love interests" was a male scarecrow. This is the only openly queer semblance of romance that we got and it was played off as a joke. In the final season. They didn't even backtrack Moomintroll and Snufkin, they just completely ignored everything that was set up.

In the final episode, Comet in Moominland, there was an incredibly brief exchange between Moomintroll and Snufkin about who looked up to who. This would have been a fantastic place to give these characters some sort of conclusion, but we don't get that. In all of the 45 minute special, the characters are never prioritized. In the whole season, even. Really, not a single character got a satisfying conclusion, but Moomintroll and Snufkin were the most important.

This is a powerful and historic piece of queer media. Tove Jansson's queer legacy was so iconic that she was directly cited as an influence in the legalization of same sex marriage in Finland. Her work proved to further the queer community. Despite sodomy laws and fear of incarceration, Jansson continued to do what she could to tell her own queer story. That is what Moomin is. That is its legacy.

I was prepared to defend Gutsy if Snufmin didn't go canon. At the end of the day, it's usually TV execs threatening to pull the whole show off the air. The show was too costly to risk any interesting writing. However, the writers didn't recover, and some of the writing just felt downright melicious at times.

Anyway, if you love slice-of-life content, you probably loved this season and the show's conclusion. It is such a shame that the creators promised something completely different from what the show turned out to be. It's no surprise that viewers are disappointed.

I do have one more thing to say ☝️😀. This is going to hurt Moomin's mission to expand to the US. It's been very obvious that they have been trying to expand to North America. Brave and bold writing would have caught the attention of new viewers. Instead, few Americans are going to recommend this show to others. Aside from that, the next logical move is to make an American adaptation. Good luck trying to find a competent YA cartoon creator that won't threaten to walk off the project if they can't have Snufmin. That being said, they'll have better luck making that canon here anyway. (Everybody say, "thank you Rebecca Sugar and Pendleton Ward.")

Well, in the end, I don't think the fight to make Snufmin a real, transparent queer story ends with Moominvalley. I can say, though, that the prioritization of profit over respect and love for others is not at all what Tove Jansson would have wanted.

Seasons 1 and 2 were peak, and season 3, episode 8, was batshit insane. That is all.

[marlynnofmany]

Me: *tells a roomful of people about my adventures in marketing my books, which includes an enthusiastic description of my time on Tumblr*

Me: *wonders an hour later what I've reblogged recently, in case they look me up*

My Tumblr: "All good, boss. Aliens, words, fae bargains and humans being weird about food."

Me: "Oh good."