#so many reblogs!! thank u really my dear

[lieahsblog]

i’ve run out of smart words and metaphors, just please please help this father from gaza evacuate his son for treatment. the goal is $15k please help them reach this ASAP.

EDIT: UPDATED campaign link for Fadi has been posted so keep scrolling. I also posted the campaign link of razan(see pinned) who’s mother needs treatment. Razan’s campaign has fallen under the radar so please share and donate. Please scroll and read the whole post for the crucial info. thanks for sharing!

EDIT: CAN YOU ALL PLEASE AMPLIFY MY PINNED AS WELL!! PLEASE SHARE THIS POST BUT ALSO MY PINNED POST!!!!!!! ITS URGENT SO DONT IGNORE. DONT KNOW HOW MANY OTHER WAYS TO TELL YOU. RAZANS FAMILY STILL NEEDS TO GO TO EGYPT SO PLEASE SHARE MY PINNED AND DONATE!!!!! THERE NEEDS TO BE DONATIONS, REBLOGS ALONE CANT PAY FOR THEIR REGISTRATION TO LEAVE. DONATE PLEASE

edit: are u guys even reading the edits. AMPLIFY RAZANS CAMPAIGN. ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

UPDATE TO EVERYONE REBLOGGING: Fadi and his family have evacuated to egypt now. They still need to cover living expenses AND his medical expenses for his son so this is Fadi’s new campaign: https://www.gofundme.com/f/brain-surgery-of-a-sixyearold-child-due-atrophy?utm_campaign=p_cp+share-sheet&utm_medium=chat&utm_source=whatsApp

this is Fadi’s p@yp@l to help with their living expenses: https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=GLVYEA82FPMX2

MORE URGENT INFO: I would like to add that another family needs your help. I’ve made several posts about Razan’s family(including her mother who needs treatment) and this campaign has fallen under the radar. their goal is $50k and they have not raised even half. we really need to pick up the slack, so i would like to please ask everyone to donate to razan’s campaign AND find a friend to match your donation!! one you have done so, please make your own post about razan’s campaign and share it with all your mutuals. we need this campaign to have so much more visibility so please join me in amplifying and #floodthedash4razan!! let’s work together and help razan and her family. give some love, support and donations towards razan’s campaign‼️‼️ I would like to direct everyone to please AMPLIFY and share Razan’s campaign(please also checked my pinned where you can see more about her campaign!!) i will also share her campaign in this post, again please show some support and amplify and donate to her:

Thank you all for sharing!

[wonustars]

𝖳𝗁𝖾 𝖶𝖺𝗒 𝗈𝖿 𝖳𝗁𝖾 𝖧𝗈𝗎𝗌𝖾 𝖧𝗎𝗌𝖻𝖺𝗇𝖽 (Teaser)

𖥔 pairing: kim mingyu x reader 𖥔 wordcount: ~15k+ (this teaser: 599) 𖥔 genre: fake marriage au!, fluff, angst, smut (18+ mdni)

𖥔 reblogs, likes and comments are always appreciated ♡! tumblr is based on reblogs not likes, and they help writers like me to get better reach. thank you!

𖥔 summary: you and mingyu (a former mafia member and also your ex-fiancè's former best friend) are forced into witness protection. All you’ve been told is that you’re meant to act like a happily married couple. Pushed into a cookie cutter house, and a suburban neighbourhood far from the city, where people bring you baked goods on your first day and partake in small talk, it’s all foreign and new. There’s so many things you don’t know about him, but for a man who’s only known violence and all things illegal, he’s somehow the perfect house husband.

𖥔 tags: fake relationship/marriage!au, non-idol!au, mafia!au, afab!reader, norbert is readers cat (more tags when the fic is posted) 𖥔 release date: may 14 or 15, 2024 𖥔 author's note: if i end up posting after the predicted dates plz do not crucify me 🙏 ik a lot of people have been waiting for this one so i'd thought i post a teaser since i have 2-3 chapters left till its finally finished. thank you to all of those who sent in their ideas and to those who've shown so much interest in this story :") i really hope it lives up to your expectations!! see u soonest - anna ♡ !!!!

𖥔 keep reading

The first few days at the new house were uneventful and awkward to say the least.

Mingyu spent the majority of his time doing random housework, he thought that if he had to live here for a year, then he should at least try and make it as “homely" as possible. 

Many of the women in the neighbourhood had deemed Mingyu as their new eye-candy. Despite the fact that he wore his pink shibu inu apron while tending to the garden at the front of the house. They would especially make sure to take multiple laps around the block during their group walks, drooling over his toned muscles as he began to plant an array of flowers on the lawn. 

Mingyu isn’t very observant when it comes to people finding him attractive, believe it or not. He automatically assumes that the wives of Bridgewater just wanted to get to know the new couple that just moved in. 

“What a beautiful garden you have!” one of the wives called out from the sidewalk, her eyes glinting with appeal. 

“Thank you, It’s not done just yet, but I think we’re finally getting somewhere,” Mingyu smiles bashfully. 

“Of course dear. You know if you’re ever free you should come and take a look at my garden,” another lady giggles, her innuendo flying right over Mingyu’s head.

The group of fourty plus year old women all giggle like school girls as they watch his face turn red with flattery. Mingyu scratches the back of his head awkwardly as they bid him good-bye, curious as to what they group of women thought was so funny about him taking a look at their gardens. It’s all just a bunch of flowers isn’t it? 

The sound of your car’s engine brings Mingyu out of his thoughts, his gardening tools forgotten by the piles of dirt he left. You lug Nortbert’s carrier as you walk into the house, acknowledging his presence with a small nod. His pink aprons raises a few questions in your head, but you decide not to comment on it. 

“Oh hey you’re back, is he ok?” Mingyu asks, motioning to the carrier you hold in your hand. 

Halting your steps, your eyes widen as you realize that he’s talking to you, there wasn’t much conversation between the two of you since you’ve moved in. so you found it a little surprising that he’s asking about Norbert, the cat who tends to show lots of aggression towards him. 

“Morning. He’s ok, I just took him for his check up at the vet,” you shrug before entering the house. 

You leave the conversation there. There wasn’t much else to say anyways, and you had a lot of work to get to before the end of the day. If Mingyu feels a little bit ignored by your actions, he doesn’t make it noticeable, going back to working on his garden. 

From across the yard, neither you of Mingyu notice Seungkwan’s looming figure as he and Vernon enjoy the Friday morning sun. He watches the two of you from his porch with a quirked eyebrow. They’re awfully awkward for newly weds, he thinks to himself. 

“Nonie, don’t you think they’re a little weird?” Seungkwan nudges his boyfriend, who’s mumbling to himself while Vernon reads his book. 

Vernon quirks up, moving his headphones a little to hear what his boyfriend has to say, “huh? Sorry I was reading, what’d you say?” 

“Nothing, go back to your book love,” Seungkwan mumbles, his eyes still darting back and forth from your descending figure and Mingyu, his suspicions spiking once more.

[rabbidbunwy]

Shadow,Sonic as boyfriends headcannon 𖨆 ♡ 𖨆

Contents: Shadow/Sonic x Anon!reader-couple-lovers-tsundere!Shadow [my intake]-breakdown comfort from both parts [them with you and you with them]-mention of being injured

i'm no english native so sorry for some mistakes

please reblog 🔁 and like❤️

P.s: i just watched the film+it was a while that i wanted to do this [pls dont bully/arass me,i found comfort in sonic and shadow,thank you]

i would also think that Shadow would make his quills softer when he gets to know you better,short of defensive mechanism

P.s.s: if u want more with other characters let me know

@muzansslxt @candy69gurl @kiwicopia @satorkive @ponderingmoonlight @galaxylover46

SHADOW 🦔🏍️💢

Shadow would have a tsundere-like personality when he has a lover, acting tough and serious but always showing his care for them in secret. He can get protective over them and always make sure they're well cared for.

As a boyfriend he would be the type to secretly love cuddling and give his partner many gifts and trinkets that he found that made him think of them.

The way he treats his partner would depend on the situation, he can range from quite cold and serious to affectionate and caring. He would probably enjoy spending time with them when they're alone but would become embarrassed when they do something overly sweet, like give him a surprise kiss.

Shadow would probably be quite clingy when alone with his partner, but in public he would try and hide his affection, though it might be quite obvious due to the fact that he does not leave their side.

He would also probably get quite jealous when anyone flirts with/looks at his partner, which only leads to him clinging to them more.

He would be very protective of his partner, especially in dangerous situations.

Injuries would put Shadow in quite a tizzy, he would be a very worrying and caring partner if his loved one was hurt. He would tend to their wounds and make sure they are alright in all ways, and likely would be overprotective of them for quite some time after they were injured,since he doesn't want to lose another person dear to him. [you know who i'm talking about,no?]

If he was the injured one, he would stubbornly refuse any help and insist that he was fine, even if he wasn't. That is, until his partner insists, which would lead to him reluctantly giving in to their worrying and lets them take care of him. He would also have an expression that says "I can't believe you're forcing me to do this", but deep down he would be quite touched by their worry for him.

As for emotional breakdowns would depend on who broke down. Shadow seeing his partner having a breakdown would make him stop everything to tend to them, trying desperately to calm them down. Seeing his partner in such a state would make him almost frantic.

As for him having a breakdown, it likely wouldn't be in front of them for a long time, if at all. Though if his partner did witness him breaking down, he would become quite defensive and embarrassed by it. He would push them away at first, not wanting them to see such a vulnerable state. However, if his partner stayed regardless, he would give in and most likely break down fully, unable to hold back any longer.

SONIC 🦔💎🌀

Sonic would be a great boyfriend. He's funny, fun to be around, he can be very loving, and he's a total sweetheart to the people he loves. Of course, he's also really protective as he can get all angry and confrontational if his loved one is in danger. And it's safe to say he has a lot of passion and fun inside of him.

Also, he can really be all about that PDA (public displays of affection) sometimes, which can range from hand-holding to hugs and even kissing.

He's also very loyal and supportive, always there for his partner and always trying to uplift them. It's safe to say he'd be all about the loving and sweet gestures, like bringing flowers or writing cute notes. He can also be a bit of a teasing flirt at times, he loves to give affection, and he can be pretty damn romantic when he wants to.

He's definitely got his share of flaws though. Like, he can get pretty impatient or angry, and he's pretty damn stubborn at times. He can get pretty competitive and may start arguments because of it. Also, he can be a damn tease and mess around a lot.

If Sonic's partner is injured or ill, he is immediately at their side. He'd drop everything to make sure they have everything they need to get better, which includes any medical supplies and anything to make them a little more comfortable. He'd also stay by their side through it all. He'd be a total worry wart, making sure they're being well taken care of, and always checking on them to make sure they aren't in too much pain or anything (he would get pretty emotional too). He'd also want to make sure to reassure them that everything'll be okay.

If Sonic gets wounded or gets injured, he tries his hardest to stay strong and fight back any weakness. He'll probably try to make light of the situation and reassure his partner that he'll be fine. However, he can only act this way for so long. He'll be in a lot of pain, and he'll try to hide it, but he'll eventually start to crack. And when that happens, he will definitely be needing some help from his partner.

With breakdowns,if Sonic's partner has one, it'll immediately get his attention, and he'll be right by their side in a flash. He'll listen to them if they need to talk, he'll console them if they need a shoulder to cry on, he'll be there to hold them if they need a hug, and he'll just do whatever he needs to do to make sure they'll feel better.

Also, he'll try his best to keep a stoic and cool composure, but he'll definitely be feeling all emotional inside when he sees them like this. He hates seeing them like that, and it hurts him to see them in pain. So he'll be extremely caring and sweet with them the entire time, and he'll make sure they know he's not going anywhere.

If Sonic feels responsible for his partner's breakdown. He will instantly be full of regret, feel absolutely horrible for causing this in his loved one, and he'll be blaming himself endlessly. Even if it wasn't his fault and it's not in his control, he'll still feel like it's all his fault and it can send him into a downward emotional spiral. He'll be so full of guilt he'll feel like the worst boyfriend in the universe.

If Sonic has a breakdown, he won't act his usual, carefree self. He'll be pretty quiet, and he won't really want to speak all that much. He'll be somewhat distant, his mind consumed by whatever's causing his breakdown. He'll be pretty withdrawn, and he'll try his hardest to mask or downplay how bad he's doing, trying to assure his partner that he's fine. However, it won't be too hard to see through his attempts.

[malarign]

ur probs insanely busy but I just had an idea based on a TikTok I saw (typical)… basically I think it would make a really good heeseung angst where he thought it would be fun to play around with his partner and make them a little jealous - either cause they were unintentionally being too friendly with someone else or whatever you feel like coming up with - but it just turns out going bad and his partner gets super upset and there’s a lot of comfort. anyway now that I typed it it kinda sounds cringe but go wild if u want

jealousy, jealousy

(when you get jealous of his co-worker)

contains: idolbf!Heeseung x gn!reader | genre: angst, fluff | tw! kissing, mentions of food, the reader is insecure about their looks, please remember, everybody is pretty in their own way | wc: 1,1k

reblogs, likes and comments are highly appreciated!

author’s note: thank you anon and sorry for the delay, i was in fact pretty busy 😵‍💫 also! no hate to the anon who sent this request but if you want to make your partner jealous intentionally just don’t get into a relationship! 🤭

“Have a lovely day, dear! I’ll let you know when I’m done with work today and maybe we’ll grab some dinner together?” Heeseung said in a rush, putting his shoes on.

“Sure, just don’t overwork yourself m’kay?” You fixed the collar of his coat and smiled.

“Anything for you, baby.” He left a last sweet kiss on your lips and bid his last goodbyes for today.

Closing the door behind him you decided to get to work on your assignments. You sighed seeing the workload you had. A sudden rush of motivation took over your body and mind and got to grips with everything. Closing your laptop you took a look at the clock on the wall in front of you. The day just started and you had plenty of time before Heeseung would come back home, so you decided to pay him a visit at work.

It wouldn’t be the first time you visited him at work, yet you always can’t help but feel anxious at the thought of your presence there among other idols. You were intimidated not only because of their popularity and fame but also because of their stunning looks which often made you jealous. His pretty co-workers didn’t have to do anything, in particular, to make you feel insecure, intimidated, and simply ugly. Despite your concerns you never dared to disclose them to your boyfriend, afraid he would laugh at your worries.

You arrived at his company and went straight to their practice room, but you met with silence and darkness. Confused you wanted to call Heeseung, but then a familiar voice caught your attention.

“Y/n?” You saw Jake at the other end of the hallway. “Heeseung didn’t tell me you’ll come over” He smiled after jogging your way.

“I finished my work earlier today so I thought I would surprise him but can’t find him.”

“Oh! He’s eating lunch right now with the rest of the guys. Come on, join us, they’re serving your favorite,” Jake laughed as he nudged your side jokingly.

You felt your stomach grumble at the thought of their cafeteria’s food and walked with him to the elevator. Before you stepped in, he excused himself as he had some other obligations and left you.

Opening the door to the dining area you were met with the smell of fried rice and chicken. Many people gathered to eat so finding Heeseung bordered on the miraculous. When you finally noticed him you saw he was talking to one of his co-workers, smiling widely and telling jokes as they both ate their lunches. You took a few steps back at the sight, a wave of fear rushed down your spine.

Their smile, their hair, their eyes, their figure. Everything about them screamed perfection, making you embarrassed about how you looked. They’re beautiful, talented in many ways, while you were just an ordinary person, who wouldn’t find their place on stage.

Heeseung raised from his seat after he finished his meal and made his way to the elevators, right where you were. You quickly turned around and pushed a button to close the door as fast as possible. Looking at the mirror you noticed a few teardrops on your cheeks and wiped them off your face.

“I’m back!” Heeseung’s voice echoed in your apartment as you quietly fidgeted with the hem of the blanket you were under. “Jake told me you were at Hybe, why didn’t you tell me?” he asked and made his way to the kitchen and took a bottle of apple juice.

“I don’t know,” you mumbled under your nose and continued playing with the fabric.

“I didn’t hear you, can you repeat?”

“I don’t know, Heeseung,” you repeated yourself louder, sounding a little bit too harsh than you intended to.

Your tone and the way you called him by his name and not one of many nicknames you used made him confused.

“Hey, are you mad?” he asked and sat next to you. “Is it because I didn’t call? I’m so sorry, my love, but I got caught up in so much work I didn’t realize it got so late,” he said and tilted his head as he spoke.

“No, it’s not because you didn’t call.” You looked him in the eyes and that’s when he noticed your tear-stained cheeks.

“Are you crying? Love, what’s happening?” Heeseung cupped your face as he scanned your features. “We agreed not to hide our worries from each other,” he reminded you.

His sweet voice and full of love words made you cry, leaving him even more confused than before. Quietly embracing you in a comforting and warm hug he waited for you to calm down. Instead, he heard your voice, full of distress.

“Why would you love me, when there are so many other people who are way better than me?” You spoke incomprehensibly, but still enough for him to understand what you said.

“Why would you say that? Love, where is that coming from?”

You pulled away from his embrace and wiped your tears to look at him.

“Why would you want to be with me, an ordinary person, who will never understand your struggles as a public person? Why would you want to be with me, who has nothing to offer but coarseness? I’m not as beautiful as your co-workers. I’m not as talented, as charismatic, as interesting as them, so why would you want to settle down with me? When will you realize that they’re perfect and I’m not enough for you?”

Heeseung listened to you attentively, keeping eye contact with you throughout your whole monologue. When you were done he thought for a second to gather his wits and took your hands into his, rubbing your skin with his thumbs.

“Love, why didn’t you tell me earlier you felt that way? Gosh, I don’t care that you’re not a public person. Why would I want you to be one? Y/n, nobody knows and understands me more than you do. What you offer is not coarseness but stability and my safe space. Nobody makes me feel so safe and loved as you do. You don’t have to be an idol to be the most beautiful, talented, charismatic, and interesting person in my eyes. I love you as you are and nothing will change that, okay?”

You lowered your head at his words, feeling embarrassed at your own jealousy.

“My dear, please look at me,” Heeseung spoke and brushed your hair off your face. Looking at him smiling reassuringly made you cry again. You fell into his arms and wrapped yours around his neck, as he left soft kisses on your skin. “I love you so much,” he whispered.

“I love you, Hee.”

thank you for reading! back to the masterlist

permanent taglist: (send an ask to be added) @nicholasluvbot

[natti-ice]

Would You Have Me?- Sirius Black.

Pairing: Sirius Black x fem!reader

Summary: Y/N is the only person in Sirius’ life he truly cares about, he wouldn’t mind if it was only them

Warnings: modern high school au!, written in third person (she/her pronouns) (1.6k words)

Author's note: this is a reupload, I wrote this a while ago!

Reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated<3

⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡

The final bell rang, it was Friday hundreds of students poured out of the school doors ready for the weekend. Y/N was among the swarm of kids, headed toward her bus. Thankful it was the weekend, this week had been a lot on her. Off in the distance, she could hear her name over the loud voices. Looking around shielding her eyes from the sun, she could see a tall boy headed her way. 

It was Sirius

"There you are," he said when he reached her, throwing his arm around her shoulder "Where are you off to?" he asked

"My bus" she pointed to the big yellow vehicle

"C'mon, I'll take you home" he offered

"Really?" she asked

"Yeah, you can tell me all about your day"

They walked to the student parking lot, Sirius drove a black '89 Dodge charger. It was a little squeaky, but he loves that car. 

He opens the passenger door for Y/N, closing it once she was in. Sirius Drove the long way to her house so they could talk longer.

"How was your day, dear?" he asks pulling out of the campus

"It was fine, I'm glad the week is over. Everything has been a lot lately" 

It was their junior year, everyone is starting to worry about their futures. Their career, college, exams, everything stressful. 

"I know what you mean, it feels like we have to know everything about the future before it happens" he replies

They continue their conversation all the way to Y/N's house. They've always been able to tell each other everything without feeling judged. Nowadays, it feels like you have to make sure everything is perfect because the whole world is watching, waiting for you to fall.

He was her safe place, and she was his. 

Sirius pulls up in front of her house, parking the car.

"Thanks for the ride, Sirius" she says opening the car door

"Of course, love. Hey, do you wanna hang out tomorrow?" he asks

"Yeah, sure I'll ask my parents. I'll text you" she answers

"Great, I'll see you soon then" He smiles

"Bye" she says closing the door.

He waits for her to go inside before driving off like he does every time. He sees her almost every day, but he still gets excited when they hang out. It's like a new experience every time, even when they've done it one hundred times before.

-

When he got home, he waited anxiously for her text. Her parents have never said no before, but it still made him a little nervous. He's made sure over the years that her parents liked him, he didn't want them to think he was just some guy who was only hanging out with their daughter to get in her pants.

He started his homework that probably won't get finished till Monday morning, checking his phone every few minutes.

Finally, after what felt like an hour, she texted him

parents said it's cool What did you have in mind?

 Movie? Wonka is still showing. Stay at my place after?

Timothee Chalamet? HELL YEAH! Definitely down for a sleepover

 Great! I'll pick u up at 4

See you then! <3

He was happy that she could come, he liked being able to get out of the house and escape with her. Everyone has family issues, his family was distant from each other. It was almost like they were roommates, not a family. His parents didn't care if he was gone or if he had someone over.

His brother stayed in his room most of the day when he got home from school. Their bond was limited to short interactions in the dining room on special occasions.

Y/N was his real family, she was always there for him whenever he needed her. At school, many people claimed to be his friend, they'd say hey in the hallway or talk about some game that happened the night before. None of them would actually have a real meaningful conversation with him.

He didn't get why he was so popular, he was sociable and easy on the eyes sure, but nobody knew the real him. It seemed like they had all made a false version of him in their heads. A mysterious ladies' man who could have anyone he wanted.

That wasn't true at all, he wasn't a mystery at all. He was very open once you got to know him, only Y/N had ever made the effort to do so. The whole 'ladies' man' thing was really funny to him. He'd never had a serious girlfriend, a few dates here and there but nothing real.

Many of those girls thought that him and Y/N had a thing going on so they would stop talking to him completely. At first he didn't know why they would think that, he thought their friendship seemed very platonic. Then he realized some of the things they would do seemed a little too friendly.

That didn't stop him. If he was honest, he didn't care about those girls at school. If there was only one girl in the world and he had to pick her. It would be Y/N. Always Y/N.

-

Saturday came around, Sirius waited all day for 4 o'clock. He didn't like to be late, he pulled up in front of her house a few minutes early so he could greet her parents.

Turning off his car, walking up to the front door. He rings the doorbell that has a little camera on it. A few seconds later, her mother opens the door

"Sirius, how are you, dear?" she asks bringing him in for a hug

'I'm great, Mrs. L/N. How's everything?"

"Everything's fine, Y/N should be ready by now." she told the boy "Y/N, Sirius is here!" she yelled up the stairs

She came down the stairs, a small bag in her hand. 

"Sorry, had to make sure I had everything, are you ready?" she asks Sirius

"Yeah, I'll see you later, Mrs. L/N" 

He and Y/N get in his car, driving to the local movie theater. 

That movie was almost 3 hours long, but that's okay. They didn't mind sitting in a dark room together in silence. It was much later, the sun was starting to set when they headed towards Sirius' house.

His parent's car wasn't in the driveway thankfully, awkward hellos are never fun. They realize they're starving and order take out.

Once it finally arrives, he takes her up to his room. Passing by Regulus' room, she could hear gunfire from some video game.

"Don't mind him, it's like he's married to the game. Hardly comes out the room" Sirius explains opening his bedroom door.

It was relatively clean, only because he knew she was coming over. His walls were lined with movie posters from the 80s and now, some of his favorite vinyls, and photo booth pictures of him and Y/N from various locations.

He made sure his space represented him. The real him. 

They spend the next couple of hours eating and watching random videos on youtube until they got bored of it. Putting on Evermore on as background music as they talked.

Both of them are sitting on the floor, Sirius leaning against the wall, Y/N against his bed

They jumped from topic to topic as the night progressed, getting into the more personal topics. A few weeks ago, Y/N started talking to a boy named Kevin. She seemed to have liked him until she stopped talking about him.

Sirius had been curious about that for a while, he thought it was a good time to ask

"Whatever happened to that Kevin guy? I thought you two were getting serious" he asks

"Oh him? That's long gone" she shrugged, "He said he just didn't feel anything for me" she explained, she didn't show it but she was a little hurt by the boy's words.

"Oh my god, he sucks. Anyone would be more than lucky to have you" He was mad that anyone would treat her like this. "Fuck that guy"

"It's alright, I didn't need him in my life" she wanted to get the topic off her "What about you? Anyone new in your life?"

"Nah" he smiles "I don't want anyone new, honestly"

"What do you mean?" she asks

"I'm happy just having you in my life, sometimes I wish it could always just be you and me" he says in a low voice

"That would be great, honestly. Just us against the world" she agrees

"Y/N?" his voice barely above a whisper, fidgeting with a ring on his hand

"Yeah?" 

He swallowed before replying, "I think I'm in love with you"

"What?" she laughed nervously, he got up and sat next to her

"When I think of my future, having a family and owning a house, you're there right next to me. I've tried to convince myself that it's only because there isn't anyone else in my life" He pauses searching her face for any sort of bad emotion "I know now, it's because I don't want anyone else in my life but you"

Y/N's brain was all over the place, trying to figure out what to say. Sirius has been her rock for so long, she had a small crush on him. She didn't think he would ever reciprocate it

"I don't know what to say" she admits

"That's alright, you don't have to say anything. If you're willing, maybe we could see if this goes anywhere?" 

She reaches down grabbing his hand, lacing her fingers with his. "I think we can make it work" she smiles "After all, we're still getting married at 30 right?" she laughed

"Right Right. A pact is a pact, dear" he smiles

She gives him a small kiss on the cheek, slowly pulling away. Their faces were dangerously close together, warm breath fanning against their skin. Y/N closes the distance. Their lips perfectly fitting each other, just like they were made for each other.

Sirius pulled away, not wanting things to get carried away. Y/N rest her head on his shoulder

"So, what color should our invitations be?"

⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡

Tag list:

@thebiggestnaturaldisaster @madwcman @de-duchess @timbradfordisbae @mommymilkerfanclub @oatmilkriver @hisparentsgallerryy

join a tag list!

[roturo]

SUGAR RUSH RIDE - uncle!gojo satoru x reader

① NEW NOTIFICATION FROM THE DEVIL BY THE WINDOW:

→ I can see the forbidden lines slowly fade away, so don't give into temptation sugar.

warnings: breeding kink, smut, rough sex, step-cest, reader is a virgin, Suguru Getou is your dad, but is never mentioned, size kink, maybe pt2, i'm proud of this one tbh, spend like 3 days doing it, probably it's not that good tho, not proof read, reader has a crush on Gojo since 15teen years old, almost caught, caught masturbating, use nicknames (sugar, baby, princess, sweetheart...) afab!reader.

TUMBLR IS BASED ON A REBLOG SYSTEM. PLEASE REBLOG MY WORK. THANK YOU. ENJOY.

Uncle 'Toru was your favorite. He bought you everything you wanted, even though, your dad, told him not to spoil you much, he still did it. Mostly because you're his only ¨little sugar¨

He's not your biological uncle, but that´s okay.

At the age of 15, you started feeling things for your dear uncle. And that´s not okay.

You decided to ignore it. Like, who wouldn't have a crush on your really hot uncle? You would say it's more admiration rather than a crush.

Most of the time he's at your house with your dad. Talking about sports, curses, and pitifully about some random girls they fucked at a club. Not like you'll tell them you heard that but still. He has brought many girls to the house, thinking she's the one, the next month he brings another one. Most of them are just for his money, to be spoiled, or for the sex.

And you know there's a borderline between you and him, you have tried getting a boyfriend but no one could get you as blushed as uncle 'toru did. He knows he has an effect on you, he can take control of you whenever he wanted. But oh.. who wouldn't like to corrupt a small thing like you? He bets you haven't reached an orgasm ever in your life, yet.

Poor little you, couldn't satisfy yourself with your small hands and tight hole. How much he wanted your hands to gets him off instead of the stolen panties from your room.

He imagined your small whines and begging for him to let you cum. Your small body under his, and your perked nipples asking to be devoured.

Guess it's time to be brave, next level for you baby.

He hasn't had a girlfriend for some time now, it's a weird thing for Gojo. Probably because when he was fucking some random girl he moaned your name, and since then, he was too fucking scared to fuck up again.

Didn't want to risk his chance with you.

18 years. Probably still a virgin, if having sex with no orgasm counts. Sexually frustrated? Yes. Does anything about it? No.

While the fire spreads in your tummy, so close to the feeling of release, nothing comes.

And it doesn't help that you're trying to get off while your dad isn't home, and your uncle is sleeping next room.

Some business trip, uncle takes care of you, no boys allowed and blah blah blah.

Not that you complain.

He only went for some water, he didn't meant to see you all sprawled out in your bed, legs open, juices coming out of you, and a cute scrunched face with open mouth looking for that sweet spot. He swears he could just come now and right there. But he couldn't let temptation take control, at least not yet.

His determination came undone one day he found you moaning his name, and he couldn't take it anymore. His thoughts stopped breathing, not only that, but he's sure he stopped breathing too when he entered your room and saw you giving him doe shocked eyes, and trying to explain yourself with your shaking voice.

¨Uncle ´Toru! U-um, w-what are you doing here?!¨

Oh poor you.. Don't know what you got him into. All you could see into his eyes is lust.

¨Were you touching yourself?¨ He knows it's a dumb question to ask after spending nights fucking his fist at the image of you masturbating, but he still needed to confirm all of this was real before proceeding. Who knew the strongest sorcerer of all the times would be almost dropping to his knees just for a weak little girl like you.

¨I c-can explain¨ The only thing going around your mind, is how dumb you are for letting his name slip out of your mouth, you were so close, finally to release.

¨You´re bad, you liar. What did you do to me sugar?¨ The last bit was barely audible, but the nickname falling out of his mouth while you were still found on this humiliated situation made you press your thighs even closer, trying to find some friction.

At your action, he let out a devilish smile, knowing he had so much control over you made it lost it. With calculated steps, he began getting closer to you. You were frozen, every cell under your skin became more sensitive the moment his hands began exterminating your body, careful touches that made you leave small sighs at the light touch.

¨You're sure you want this sugar? Because there´s no turning back.¨ Is he really asking you this? After seeing you masturbating at the idea of him?

¨Y-yes, please gimme more¨ That´s all he needed to start kissing you with no remorse, his skilled tongue entering your mouth and the sweet taste of you got him seeing stars. He couldn't wait more time when his hands starting going from your wait to your perked nipples, his fantasy was becoming true when he began playing with your nipples and you let out a small moan that made him stop kissing you to admire your beautiful body. You became an addiction to him with just one sweet taste.

He started leaving kisses from your neck until his mouth found your tits and started sucking on them, you swear you´re going to have purple marks in the morning.

The pleasure started becoming too much and he hasn´t even started touching you where you craved him more.

Your hands started undressing him, eager to touch his body, you could feel his stomach flex at the small touches you gave him.

¨You look so pretty all sprawled out, just for me. Tell me sugar, am I your first?¨ the small pinch he gave you in your waist made you jump, only giving him nods. All fucked up, and you haven´t even felt his cock, how cute.

¨Uncle 'Toru... please¨

¨Please what princess? Words, gimme words..¨ You couldn´t take it anymore, you grabbed his hands guiding it to your core. ¨Please... come a little closer... I need you.¨ Tears started going out of how stressed you were, finally, you're having the forbidden taste.

You heard him unbuckling his pants, ready for what's coming next, you opened your legs even wider. The wetness of your pussy falling out into the bed sheets. His fingers found your core, he wasted no time inserting them. He could reach places never in a million days you could reach. ¨Next time, learn to close your door sweetheart, because i'll no longer have self control if I found you like this again. I don´t care your father is home or not. I'll make sure your neighbors know my name from start to even backhand.¨

His voice made you shiver, the though of your dear dad finding out made you even hotter. The feeling of his fingers had you moaning his name like a prayer.

The lost of touch made you whine, until the sharp and unexpected thrust of his cock into your tight hole, made you scream and cum all in once, the feeling was so sweet, you needed more. It's like he couldn't realize he made you cum with one thrust because he started moving his hips like there's no tomorrow. He couldn't even recognize himself of how lost in pleasure he was. The feeling of your pussy adjusting him made him feast up the night sky was, he swears this is all a dream. You were the devil to this world, to his world. He was no longer the devil for someone else.

Feeling your walls spasm and contract him, made the feeling of desire even stronger. ¨I'm gonna fill you up soo good. All you will think about is how good my cock is making you feel. You're going to be my little cum hole. All for me. Gimme' on more baby, c'mon, I know you can¨ His voice in your ear had you cumming, your nails scratching his back.

Gojo is a fan of sweets, but now? He has his new favorite dessert. With one last hard thrust he deposited his seed into you. He never thought he'll be in this position right now. He wanted more, but your fucked up face, tears still coming out your eyes, some saliva in your chin made him realize you can't take another round. His gaze began to come down your body, seeing purple marks in your beautiful body made his cock twitch. Your hole couldn't take more cum, his fingers collected the cum falling out and inserted them inside you again.

He had to get closer to you, in a way his cock was just right infront of your mouth. He kinda feels bad for seeing you this fucked up, but it made him harder seeing you like this. Now he wasn´t in his right mind, he grabbed your head and inserted his cock in your mouth. He wanted to fill you up with his seed on every corner of your body. With gentle thrusts of his dick inside your mouth to not hurt you was enough to have him coming.

¨I'm sorry baby... but you looked so good.¨ He let a groan when he saw you swallow his cum.

¨Can you see what you're doing to me sugar? This will not be the first time i'll have you like this. But this is the first time i'll treat you this gentle.¨

You couldn't wait for the next time.

¨Y/N? Gojo? I´m back!, I brought some takeout!¨

The voice of your dad got you looking Gojo's eyes, scared of what´s going to happen next, you didn't remember he was coming back today.

¨Let's see what impression daddy makes when he sees his little princess all fucked up full of his uncle cum huh?¨ And with that, he just clapped and disappeared. So fucking easy for him to just use his powers to made it look like he just didn´t made you have the best orgasm of your life.

All you could hear was far voices of your dad and uncle talking.

¨Oh, Y/N?, she´s sleeping right now, just checked on her.¨

You liar.

[astarionposting]

Hello!! I hope you're doing well. :)

I'm pretty new to the BG3 scene, but I'm absolutely obsessed not just with the game but the king Astarion himself. I found your account pretty quickly, but do you have any recommendations for other accounts that have similar content as yours? I just want to surround myself with lots of BG3 stuff.

Thanks a bunch!! Sending lots of love. 💕���

Hello, dear! <3

Here are my favourite BG3 blogs right now, they are mostly gif/screenshot accounts, but there are also some writers and other types of content:

@dailyastarionpics - well, DAILY astarion pics... need I say more?

@mrdekarios - I love their theme and ocs! their content is extremely high quality as well. Their gifs edits are on another level.

@bhaals - sharp and colorful screenshots of bg3 characters and their incredibly unique ocs!!

@whoopsitsloobis - i love their astarion screenshots, and their oc is so so cute! I also really like the funny clips they capture of the game :)

@brewitching their use of that one kinky outfit <333... u just have to see it for urself ok?!!??!

@starryslove - high quality videos and clips of astarion just bein a cutie, I love to go back and watch them.. hehe

@bg3astariononlydeok - very beautiful and high quality screenshots/gifs of astarion, they make me feel warm and fuzzy inside <3

@northernolddragon - beautiful and high quality BG3 screenshots

@gothastarion - romantic and dark screenshots, mostly astarion but I have seen other companions and they capture them just as beautifully!

@hazellblogs - high quality gifs and screenshots of rolan and gale (i luvvv), and ADORABLE ocs!! Older!rolan is my kryptonite...

@jokermoreau - high quality gifs (i luvvv their astarion gifs) and screenshots + i like the things they reblog

@banal-nadas - extremely high quality screenshots with beautiful colours

@rotatingremains - awesome high quality screenshots (and their astarion ones are <33333), i love the sharp and dark colours

@baldurs-brainrot - beautiful screenshots of astarion, I loooove the purple/blue tones (can you tell I like purple?)

@fluffyhoneytoast - incredibly cute astarion art! I adore their modern astarion artworks and their style is wonderful

@riense - gorgeous bg3 artwork, their lines work is otherworldly

@eeriesynth - amazing screenshots of astarion with incredibly ethereal lighting and colours

@oharahive - beautifully written astarion fanfiction, and i really like what they reblog :)

@baldurspeen69420 - i like their username and I also really like what they reblog so obligatory mention

@astarioff - had to mention bc they are super fucking funny and i love to see that bald head astarion pass by when i scroll thru my feed

But honestly if you just look through my reblogs, you'll find so many great bg3 blogs out there!! there are so many, it is wonderful :)

[komero-otus]

Get To Know Me Tag Game

aaaaa I was tagged by @t00obsessed !!! thank you!!!<3

Last song: Disease by Lady Gaga (it's a banger!!!!)

Favorite color: yellow and purple! idk why, it's just been like this since forever

(ok I lied I DO KNOW why yellow, because it was the colour of my favourite plushie when I was a baby kiddo. As a toddler I just decided that yellow is my fave colour for forever I guess. purple developed into a second favourite a bit later, but I do not have an origin story for that one. that colour just tickles my brain.)

Last book I finished: Hell Followed with Us by Andrew Joseph White! it was really cool and I enjoyed the horror aspects and the vibes. (Also I can't even begin to put into words how much it matters to me that I can finally nowadays read MULTIPLE different books with transmasc MAIN CHARACTERS. truly blows my mind. happy to see it.)

It was a nice breather while I had a break from reading Dracula by Bram Stoker but uhh... then I never got back to dracula after and just started reading Somewhere Beyond the Sea by TJ Klune. :')) to be fair I've been waiting for this one a while now. (though my reading has been on a break for a while. idk my brain just doesn't let me read currently but I'll get back to it at some point again! I probably won't be able to finish the books I'm currently in the middle of before the year ends but that's alright!)

Last TV show I watched: uh... Beast Wars: Transformers... (me n my friend have been on a transformers kick. their old hyperfixation is stirring once more and I am so glad to be along for the ride :3 )

Sweet/Spicy/Savory: I??? don't know??? I like sweet things?? but savoury is delish too??

Last thing I googled: Pancake recipe (I wana make a pancake to keep me and my brain busy and get a sweet treat while I'm at it)

Current obsession(s): UHHHH the strongest currently is probably Great God Grove since it FINALLY came out and I love love love that game so much it was definitely worth the wait!!! <3<3<3<3<3 also obviously Batman since it's the latest long lasting hyperfixation I've had in a WHILE. and the best thing is that there's.. A LOT of batman media I still haven't taken a look at or read or played etc. so never stop the madness or however that one meme goes.

(I also reblog a lot of stuff of all my other interests since like.. my adhd brain, yes gets hyperfixated on one specific thing for periods of time, but once the fixation period chills out the enjoyment doesn't fade. so like... Psychonauts, Pacific Rim, Mp100, Lupin the third, tf2, and SO MANY OTHER THINGS my beloveds. my blog is a mess of stuff I enjoy, but I try to tag everything so if someone gets sick of seeing a specific thing they can blacklist it!)

Looking forward to: I think winter get together/ christmas actually??? cant wait to spend a chill and calm and not stressful xmas with my friends,, not everyone in the group celebrates christmas so idk what I should call it but. its our little winter celebration thing. and the people there are very dear to me. I can't wait! <3

I'll tag uhhhhhhh @julletin , @mossitism , @radiant-sunlight-blueberry , @miduana , @enwie , @sateenkaaripieru , and I'll add more ppl if I have time! and if any friend or mutual wants to do this and I forgor, just poke me and I'll tag u!! <3

BUT LIKE NO PRESSURE TO PARTICIPATE IF YALL DON'T WISH TO!!! this is just for funsies!!! take care <3

[nakitengoku]

Hi I see u reblog posts all the time with 'vex' and 'vance', who are they?

I'm so glad you asked! Buckle up, this'll be a long one.

In Short, Vex is my cyberpunk 2077 self-insert turned oc through Character Development and Quirks that I don't possess! You can find all the posted drawings I've done of him here, here and here, but I can give you a rough summary bc I love talking about him and he makes me ill <3 I've even made him his own Spotify Playlist

First off, Vex's original concept came a while ago when I had first watched Cyberpunk: Edgerunners. (Original designs below) I named this self insert Ghost and he was supposed to operate as a shady BD dealer

I wouldn't come back to this idea for a whole year, where a friend of mine who had been posting about the game convinced me to play. I decided to revamp Ghost, including his Name Change to Vex (to fit the theme of the main characters name starting with V). Through many back and forth a between me and my friend, and through playing the game, I had eventually fleshed out Vex.

Crash course in Vex Lore, due to rough circumstances and having no other options, he signed a contract with an upstart xbd (hyper-realistic 3d experiences plugged straight into your brain. Vex's specifically was in the pleasurable kind (he's a pornstar)) producer. For Nine year, Vex worked under this Producer, slowly becoming more and more of a hit star, especially among fanatics. But he wanted to be done with it and move on with his life, and lean into his side gig of being a Merc for hire. The producer, learning that Vex was gonna quit, begged him for once last recording. During which, the Producer tried to have Vex killed by the hands of his co-actor. Vex learns this in the middle of a scene and flips it around, instead Killing his co-actor and his producer.

He then hides the body, moves and tries to make a job for himself in Atlanta, but after nearly 2 years of miss after miss, he's forced to return to Night City, thus kicking off the start of the game!

Other than his backstory, he is part of the Worlds worst polycule composed of the Canon Characters, Kerry Eurodyne, River Ward and Johnny Silverhand, and the Non Canonical (though they're both canonical in my heart) Vex and Vance.

You may now be at the point of 'Phoenix, you've only been speaking about Vex, who the hell is Vance' Well, my dear beloved Mutual, Vance is @mail-me-a-snail's V! They're more inclined to talk about him and if you're really curious, they have an entire tag about him on their blog! Just know that I love Vance so strongly that Vex has to deal with it

(They've also recently posted one of their drawings of Vance and Vex and I'm over the moon about it)

There's also our mutual Bad Ending for Vance and Vex that you'll occasionally see me mention in Tags. That's the ending where Vex never escaped his Producer, instead continuing his work and becoming extremely popular and Vance never leaving Arasaka (a huge corporation). This ending is just for the two of them to rip each other apart in mutually assured destruction done out of love, commitment and understanding <3 (of which has its own Spotify playlist)

General rule of thumb is if you see a Vex with short hair and a blue collar, that's normal Vex. If you see him with long hair and he's missing his collar, That's the Bad End Vex.

That's it for Major Plot Points! He's a pretty kind and caring guy, but Hates Johnny's guts and will only refer to him as Silverhand (for multiple reasons). He's main weapon is a katana. He'll eat random food off the street bc of ingrained habits and won't think twice about how nasty that it. His preferred mode of transport is a motorbike bc he can't drive a car for shit. He's my sopping wet cat of an oc that I shake around like a limp piece of prey between my teeth.

Hope you enjoyed this rant about him! Thank you so much for asking ! (And feel free to keep asking, I love talking about him)

[redfurrycat]

May i respectfully ask how you can enjoy a ship if u didn't see the show for canon's sake?? 😄👀

Hey Anon! :)

Talking about Sterek are we, right?? :D

Upon reading your ask, I reflected on how I got into the Sterek fandom in the first place, and wow what a nice journey down the memory lane!!

Short answer to how I can enjoy a ship if I didn't see the show?

COLDFLASH.

Confused, are you? =D

The longer version of my babbling is under the cut, and so very sorry about that, coudn't help myself! :D

In case you don't know about the Coldflash ship, Anon, just a quick word. Tis the hero/villain ship from the Flash tv-show, aka Barry Allen/Leonard Snart.

THEM:

I started following this ig account ss.sterek [@holycafe if I'm not mistaken], liking all the coldflash posts, then getting curious about their other posts as well.

This is how Sterek came to be.

At first, it was a polite indifference, but the more I saw the sterek posts the more it got interesting to me, until one day I started searching for any Sterek content.

Until I started searching for any content on Tumblr, specifically.

Until I liked so many incorrect quotes and crack posts about this so-called Sourwolf and Spaz.

At some point their dynamic became SO addicting, I decided to start reading fics.

Did I understand any of the mentionned canon? Heck no.

(The Teen Wolf Wiki Page was a huge help in that regard, explaining to me what a kanima or a nogitsune was for example.)

Still, I remember the first fics I read were about Stiles being Pack Mom to the Wonder betas!! =D

Also fics closely (ish) related to canon...So yeah they always referred to stuff happening in the show that I usually didn't get...

With patience, some research, and LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS OF FICS, I began grasping things and characters surrounding the Sterek pair.

So I may not know about the Derek and the Stiles from the show, but I know of the fandom version of them.

Beleive me, it puzzled me how big it got to me. (BUT I'M LOVING IT!)

Like I probably have 2,000 bookmarked Sterek fics on AO3 plus the ones I've yet to read on my marked-for-later and the other ones I read without bookmarking them (rookie mistake xD).

I think the writers and the Sterek content creators have taken the grumpy-sunshiny & dry-sarcastic dynamics and wrote....how to say it? almost different characters than from the show? To the point I didn't need the show to understand them.

Nor did I wish to.

Actually, I tried watching after S06 got out, but didn't last more than 15 min maybe? My brain was too wired up on the Sterek vibe to fully appreciate the show. (Maybe my teenage ass would have liked it... But as I was watching soooo maaaaany tv-shows already, it was impossible to start watching Teen Wolf, and when I first heard of Sterek I was at Uni and really didn't have the time - But OH LORD THE NUMBER OF FICS I READ... My life saver to countless sleepless nights unable to close my eyes xD)

I've only watch THE famous Sterek Supercut!!!! :D <3

I don't know if you are aware of my Tumblr really, but if you are, you may notice I'm VERY MUCH INTO PLANES AND PILOTS these days... (okay it's been a year)....

YEAH YEAH YEAH TALKING ABOUT TOP GUN AND TOP GUN MAVERICK AND BLONDE AND BRUNET PILOTS SO WHAT OF IT?!

*I'm super chill, whatddyamean???? :D*)

Make NO mistake though, Sterek is still a favourite pair of mine, and I AM OH SO GLAD to see old and new content popping up in my dash. Still reblogging and reading!!!!!!!!!

ETERNAL STEREK!

Thank you to the original account that got me into Sterek. Thank you to THE STEREK FANDOM FOR CREATING THE MOST AMAZING CONTENT AND FICS.

Dear you go, Anon, rambles over. :D

(((I started writing the reply in the morning, and it is now the evening. I got distracted by real life stuff in the middle, and I AM EXHAUSTED. I hope you can make sense of all the babbling (or word-vomit, more like it.) I won't be reading again cause otherwise I'll keep adding stuff :D))

Have a good day Anon! ;)

[melis-writes]

i need your cognizance … im kind of new to the al pacino fandom and ive binged watched his filmography in over 3 days and i LOOOOVED EVERYTHINGGGG but mostly just staring at his gorgeous faaaace (im rolling my eyes and biting my fist as i type this)😮‍💨🥵😩 but im rlly having trouble finding my footing with the elephant in the room … and that is him having a baby at his present age and dating a woman 50+ yrs his junior… like im in too deep now, i just watched his nypd episode and that’s how far ive already went😭(not complaining👀) but im also at this stage where idk what or how to feel about him doing that. obviously ive acquired an above-average-more-than-wikipedia knowledge about him (i like him a normal amount, trust me) and i won’t willfully overlook the fact that he’s kind of a womanizer and one that is commitment-phobe, so i guess him having new girlfriends isn’t out of the blue but to date someone THAT young? like that could be ur daughter😭 in fact his eldest daughter is a few yrs older than his current gf

anyway what im rlly trying to say is, i need u to weigh in on this and pls tell me ur opinion. ive read ur impressive work and it encouraged and inspired me to read the godfather as a book, and not just settle on watching it. and with that in mind i thought u were the right person to provide insight on this. as u can see i love al so much, im actually thinking of making myself a bday cake with his picture on it, similar to a pic i reblogged a few days ago, but im soooo conflicted on this. like i truly am. i know it’s bad to have parasocial relationships w celebrities (especially younger versions of themselves OMG) (but im rlly not i just love him sm and admire him) but im at this phase where im afraid that finding out more of his humanly desires would disappoint me? and yes ppl might say i shld avoid putting celebrities on a pedestal bc they rlly dont give a fuck abt who u are😵‍💫 and i would definitely love to be one of those ppl that could simultaneously admire a person for their achievements and recognize their kind behavior but also acknowledge their wrongdoings … but if i do that isn’t it kind of telling on my end, of my behavior and shaky moral compass😫? or, now that im in too deep, maybe im just trying to maintain this idealized version of him in my head and this is simply a reality i refuse to accept😭? bc honestly when the news broke out a lot of ppl were divided, with most responses pandering to eerie and just odd reactions, but a small minority claims a different take, along the lines of ‘if two consenting adults wanna make a family then why not’ and this rlly bugs me bc ??? apart from it being an awfully lazy analysis there’s just SOO much to unpack about this situation. like theres just way too many layers and there’s nuances too. one of the replies actually said men at the age of 60 should already be neutered to prevent from procreating ever again and why i kinda agree to it ?? 😶 like im so conflicted … like i rlly am … this is eating me out and consuming me i honestly dont know what to do.

anyway IM SO SORRY FOR THE RAMBLING AND FOR HOW LONG THIS WAS … im sorry for the overcomplication … pls take ur time in answering this im rlly sorry id rlly appreciate ur stance on this … I LOVE UR WORK SO MUCH IT KEEPS ME SANE. especially with the gifs🥰🥰🥰🥰 bc of u i still get to fuel my indulgences. THANK YOU

Ah my dear, welcome to the Pacino fandom, first of all. 🤣❤️ We Pacino girlies welcome you with open arms here lmao I know exactly how that intense ass Pacino brainrot can hit and how hard too. 🥵

You're right first of all about the fact that there's a lot to unpack beyond the "it's two consenting adults in a relationship" piece but here's the thing, it's not meant for us to unpack. At the end of the day, all we can do is hear news, gossip and read articles about Al's relationship and this and that but we don't know how much of it is actually true and what's really going on, and we can't know. It really has nothing to do with any of us, and those two don't care what the public think either. It's Al and his gf's private life and judging on how shit broke out, they seem to have a lot more to worry about on their plate than anyone else's reactions.

Al is basically a womanizer from what I've read lmao. He always really has been and I know things obviously changed when he got older but an early article that came out saying Al and his gf are dating mentioned the age gap doesn't bother either of them and his gf has dated men around the same age and even older than Al. This is their personal and private life, after all. Men can have children at a very old age, this is just how science works lmao although it can be baffling at 80+, it's still a thing. From what the gossip online says, it looks like this was an unplanned thing and Al isn't doing so good. He doesn't seem to be jumping over the moon about everything from what I read either. I think this is hard for him, tbh.

And some people may think it's weird someone as old as Al is still having sex but given his track record, I'm not surprised at all lmao. To avoid disappointment from celebrity parasocial relationships and putting them on pedestals, you need to come to an understanding that you're also recognizing and putting up (in a way) their flaws on that pedestal too. Al is not a perfect human being, nobody is, but he isn't out here trying to be perfect or live up to anyone else's definitions either nor should he.

I love that you admire and love Al like the rest of us, but you also need to come to an understanding about the things he's done or said or whatnot that you don't agree with or necessarily like. He's just a human being at the end of the day, it's so complex. Don't think too hard on it, because everyone has their flaws and mistakes and as we recognize this, we can still love them for the great things they do. That's really the only thing you need to do.

I think the fandom as a whole looked way too far into this man's personal life. It does not effect us whatsoever and it's honestly none of our business. Al doesn't owe us anything and he's not trying to be a role model to us; we shouldn't be this held up about his personal life. I know it can be hard not to care, but sometimes all you need to do is acknowledge it, accept it, and move on.

I would also recommend reading the biography "A Life on The Wire" by Andrew Yule. It has a lot about Al's life from early days, to romance, to his personality and everything inbetween. It's seriously extremely detailed and gives you a whole new insight on just who that man is!

Feel however your heart wants to feel. You don't have to get held up in Al's personal life like others or form a strong opinion just because someone else has. Something like this doesn't need to stop you from admiring what a phenomenal actor Al is and how he's a fine ass man too. 😭

[fukashiin]

rating my mutuals!

i dont have too many but it'd still be fun to rate you guys as a small bday gift from me in return for the interactions and moments I've made with you up until now <33 (if you arent here then i was too shy to mention you but i love your works tremendously!!)

@jeidoleech ⤷ KHOI !

1000/10

my first ever twst mutual on tumblr actually. you dont understand i squealed like SQUEALED when you followed me back and tagged me in your mutuals list?? i was over the moon <33 your writing style is adorable and it really butters my biscuits AND I WAS OBSESSED WITH YOUR BABY BLUE THEME WHEN I FIRST FOLLOWED YOU GOODBYE. so thank you?? for following me like?? SO much??? you were apart of the reasons why i wanted to continue writing for this fandom <3333 i cant keep up with you altering between jade and Floyd im gnna be completely honest OKAY.

@mifyu ⤷ MIFFY !

youre adorable/10

some of the sweetest people I've ever met hello??? and your themes just??? top it off???? i was super shy to ask if you wanted to become mutuals but ohmygod i wasnt expecting you to be the ballsy one. thank you for becoming mutuals with me your works are just the prettiest and im looking forward to more!! i bet if we had a competition to see who could say 'ily more' you'd win by a mile.

@iuuru ⤷ MILLIE

我愛你你你你/10

HELLO IM SO GLAD I REACHEDJ OUT TO YOU WHAT. you match my energy so well and i love that abt you??? MY CHINESE SPEAKIMG COMPANION???? the moment i clicked on your blog i just KNWEW i had to become your moot you just seemed so fun and lovable AND YOU ARE. i was able to improve my chi vocab by a little bit because of you and im genuinely so grateful?? MY FAV LEONA KISSER YOUR WORKS AND IMAGINATION IS LITERALLY IMPECCABLE ILYSM I HOPE TO SPEAK IN CHI WITH YOU SM MORE AND CRASH THE TAG LIMIT BY FAWNING OVER YOUR WORKS

@tinyletterz ⤷ REMY !

stop being so gorgeous???/10

i could use up all the synonyms for beautiful in all the languages i know and it still wouldn't be enough. your works are the prettiest???hello??? whyre they so soft and fuzzy??? u deserve all the cupcakes and cats in the world ill literally take you to the cat island. youre personality is so lovely i literally go through the whole water cycle whenever you answer my ask??? so thank you for being my mutual<33 ALSO WHAT SHOULD WE NAME OUR CAT CAFE??

newer mutuals who i'd love to know better!

your guys' personalities are amazingf and itms such an honour to be your mutual KISSES

@siphoklansan ⤷ SIPHOK !

YOUREAMAZINGATARTSTOP/10

your works. your animations. who allowed you to be that talented??? ill always remember the time you said i was lively and fun even before we became mutuals! that made my day!! youre literally some of the nicest people ive met on this app so never give up on your passion for art IM LITERKALLY GOBBLING THEJM ALL UP <3

@twistedchatterbox ⤷ NOIR !

9038839/10

i cnat believe your first interaction with me was digging up my thirst post for idia STOP. IM A CHANGED PERSON. but ohmygod youre so good at art too?? can you stop being so talented with both writing AND drawing???? but regardless im so happy to be your mutual you seem so hardworking with every work you post and i appreciate that sm?? AND I LOVE YOUR OC. SHES BEAUTIFUL;

@cupids-chamber ⤷ CUPID !

i relate to you an eerie amount/10

i couldve sworn i started hyperventilating the moment i saw you follow me????? you may not think that your crack fics are funny BUT THEY REALLY ARE??? at the same time your normal ones make me SQUEAL AND KICK MY FEET IN THE AIR IM SO TEMPTED TO GET RUN OVER BY AN ACTIVE SPEEDING BUS. and congrats on 4.35k!! i hope we interact a lot more <33

⤷ FOLLOWERS !

♾/10

FROM DECEMBER UNTIL NOW IM SO SO GRATEFUL FOR THE NUMBER OF FOLLOWERS I CURRENTLY JHAVE??? YOU GUYS READ MY WORKS AND LIKED/REBLOGGED AND ITS LITERALLY SO MUCH MORE I COULD EVER ASK FOR??????? SO I JUST WANTED TO SAY THANK YOU THANK YOU FOR ALL THE SUPPORT YOURE ALL SUPER IMPORTANT AND DEAR TO ME I LOVE YOU ALL SMM<333

[hala-macaron]

Hello, my friend. I hope this message finds you well. 🙏

I am writing to you with a heavy heart and an urgent request for your help. My family is in a perilous situation due to the harsh conditions and the famine we have endured for more than ten months. We are facing immense challenges, So please read my story as if I were a member of your family, if my family is your family.🥺

I'm Ola, a graduate student from the Faculty of Science at Al-Azhar University . I'm dedicated and passionate about becoming a good researcher and teacher.

Unexpectedly, my life took a drastic turn transforming me from a passionate student into a person struggling for survival. 🥺

I have created a campaign to help me and my family rebuild our lives and meet our basic needs for food, drink, and other essentials in these harsh conditions. This will also help me continue my education. At this critical moment, I implore you to share my campaign with your network, both offline and on social media platforms. Your advocacy is vital to our success.

All I am asking for is your support. Every simple thing makes a difference in changing the situation we are in. You can help us either by giving direct support to our campaign or simply by sharing/reblogging the pinned post on my page and/or writing a post about my campaign. This would greatly help us reach more potential donors, and I would be very grateful if you could share the campaign link with your friends and family via email or other social media platforms. ❤️

I sincerely hope you can empathize with our dire situation and consider supporting us. Please be assured that any help brings us closer to our goal, and no matter how small your donation might be, it will make a significant difference in my family's lives.

I would appreciate it if you could follow me to stay updated, as I will always need your help. 💔

This is my GFM link:

https://www.gofundme.com/f/empower-olas-pursuit-of-education-amid-crisis?qid=30ec4c502382b9962b96d698a687d9a8

My campaign has been verified by @ 90-ghost, @ northgazaupdates, @ el-shab-Hussien, and @ nabulsi's vetted list (line 205).

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/u/0/d/1yYkNp5U3ANwILl2MknJi9G7ArY4uVTEEQ1CVfzR8Ioo/htmlview#gid=0

Thank you in advance for your kindness and support. I am waiting for your response. ❤️

Please donate and/or share with others. 🥺🙏

Sincerely,

Ola

The dear Ola urgently needs our help! Yours, mine, anyone’s really - so whatever it is, a share, a teeny tiny bit of money, every little thing matters!!!

I have made many of these posts, and perhaps they sound repetitive. But people are in danger, people need any kind of help. Their names aren’t just on a screen or one in a million. Tell your friends, your parents, your coworkers - remember them, and everything they are

[celestie0]

BABE. AGAIN. UR REBLOGS ALWAYS HAVE ME CRYING IN THE CLUB (see youve fucked me up so bad im referencing hella old catchphrases) honestly imma kiss u thru the screen one of these days

same i craved kbbq so bad when i was writing it. i think ripped jeans are still trendy just maybe not DIY ripped jeans bahha. and yes hana is a mood im exactly like that when im drunk

“oh and he’s a creep, he reminds of that one very annoying guy every girl has in her class, who tries to one-up and simultaneously tries to get on with that very ambitious girl only to prove to her that he’s better and not in a good “rivals to lovers” way, no, they gotta be all “i am doing this for your own good”, but they’re at the end of the day they are just bootlicking bigots who’ve failed miserably in their lives.”

omg okay yes exactly 😭🤣 i love the hatred for kai right off the bat PLS u literally named the thesis of his character right here. i have not seen insidious but i take ur word for it 😭 and yes bb pls break tf outta his camera.

thanks my love haha yea obv i had to get into his headspace a bit to write for him and i was like damn��🏻‍♀️there r ppl that actually live this miserably? jfc

and yea ur so right,, tbh doubt and fears are so valid, if kai came from a better angle then perhaps he couldve actually provided valuable insights for her. but in my own career pursuit i know that doubt is the foundation for faith, and it’s healthy because it tests your resolve, whether that resolve is to continue to march forward or possibly pivot. but kai’s approach is simply seeding doubt to create insecurities to feel higher than another person, and that does not come from a place of care or understanding at all

OMG BB I THINK YOU’re THE FIRST READER TO REALIZE COACH YAGA’s POMERANIAN IS PANDA 😭😭💕💕

pls i wanna be princess carried by gojo so bad. and bahahah not the lawyer AND the therapist 😩 my dear im just like reader, i got them bills to pay plsss i cannot afford counsel to represent me for emotional damages

yesss tbh even i began developing a massive crush on reader while i was writing her in this chapter lol gojo suddenly became an afterthought 🤣🤣

“like i am gathering he probably developed this through keeping calm during the trauma and the tension that had him enveloped with the injury, illness and the death of his father.”

yess bb i think u hit it on the mark, and i think this is reflective of canon gojo too who has bottled up many feelings. my fave character trait of canon gojo is his ability to go from cheeky to serious at the drop of the hat (not only is it insanely hot, but also i think very charming and in my experience the true mark of a man LOL) so that’s the vibe i’m really trying to capture w kickoff gojo if all else isn’t canonically accurate i at least hope that is 🤣 but yea, he’s been forced to trauma that has kind of made him super good at compartmentalizing, almost too good, to where even extremely strong feelings of his can come off as passive. i tried to show that in his body language vs words when reader is done cussing him out for having it “easy in life” :””) ur so emotionslly intelligent my love and ur empathy is enouhh to make me tear up 😭 ppl in ur life must feel so safe w you

“my baby is making a mistake and these are not even her words, though she’s wrong to be voicing them.”

yesss she’s rly been driven up a fkn wall this whole chapter i felt so bad writing it all :””) esp this scene bc its like…she rejected kai’s advances, and yet somehow he was still rly able to get into her head and as a result, she spoke out of line in an effort to hurt gojo who i dont rly think deserved that 🥲😭

“HE JUST CALMED HIMSELF DOWN FOR HER SO FAST, HES THE ENTIRETY OF THE GREENLAND ON THIS EARTH. i will die for him.”

AAAAAA omg i hate to toot my own male mc’s horn LMFAO but yea i really liked that part bc he couldve gone off on her or made her feel bad/guilty but i think he just wants her to feel better ab everything :”) also yea i dont think he was angry per se, i was hesitant ab using “clenched fists” in the sentence bc i didnt want it to come off as he was pissed at her, but it was definitely hurt & anxiety

“i’m reaching my yappacity.”

PLSKSJDJD IM ADDING THIS TO MY VOCABULARY

“if virtual hugs are possible, im hugging the reader right now. the fear of disappointment is so real. i’ve had to take multiple breaks reading this chapter. i loveeee it, so well written. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️”

thank sm bb for reading w stuffs going on ik this chap hits heavy, tbh if i read something like this when i was reaaally in my “holy fuck im struggling w my life n career rn” phase i would NOT have been able to handle it bahhaha. but also i think there are parts that may have been comforting too. i appreciate u sm for providing all ur insights 🥺💕

“no because im imagining he’s saying those words to me and comforting me. thank you very much.”

this was the goooooal aaaaa i wanted it to feel like a hug thru the screen 😭🥲💕

“ELLIE!!!! WHY WERE YOU WORRIED???? THE TENSION, THE FRUSTRATION, CAREER AND GOJO RELATED BOTH, THE ASSHOLES AND EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN WAS SO PERFECTLY WORDED! I LOVED ALL OF IT!”

IM GONNA CRYYY IK IDK WHY I WAS SO WORRIED THE RESPONSE HAS BEEN SO SWEET N LOVELY I JUST IDK i think cuz it was all so vulnerable but im just. so. 😭😭😭 tysmm i rly cant say how much it means that u read the chap (while u were dying w no sleep 💀) and interacted w it sm :””) ur such a sweetie pie n i will literally be sending u my good vibes for my LIFEE PLSS <33 LOVE U M00tie

“ps: is mina the tribute to your best friend? i’m believing yes. also i loved, loved the author’s note, one of the sweetest thing ever that one has left at the bottom of their works.”

GIRL HOW DO U CATCH FUCKING EVERYTHING 😭😭😭 YES I CHOSE a name that started w m for mina to rep my friend :””) ughhhhh ur just too muhc n the fact u were ab to pass out when u read this n still catch fucking everything 💀🤣

WORDS ARENT ENOUGH I NEED TO HUG U THRU THE SCREEN. THANKS BB <333

gojo satoru x reader | college au [18+]

kickoff ch.9 words you've been wanting to hear

ᰔ pairing. college au - soccer player! gojo x film major! reader (f)

ᰔ summary. gojo satoru is the most popular guy on your college campus. he's tall, funny, hot, not to mention he's the most talented soccer forward the school has seen in years. but he's also a frat dude, which puts him in a world very different from your own, as he spends most of his nights partying & drinking while you spend most of yours working on your annoying film major assignments. but when he reaches out to you for a favor, you realize that helping him out might have something in it for you too.

ᰔ warnings/tags. 18+, fluff, angst, smut, college au, fraternities, sororities, partying, drinking/alcohol, romance, jealousy, pining, slow burn, opposites to lovers, friends to lovers, she falls first he falls harder, gojo being an idiot, marijuana use, sexism, sexual harassment (verbal only)

ᰔ chapter. 9/x (probably 12)

ᰔ words. 15.6k (WHY DO THEY KEEP GETTING LONGER)

a/n. HELLO MY DEAR KICKOFF READERS IVE MISSED YOU ALL SO MUCH i am soooo sorry for the wait on this one. this chapter felt very vulnerable to write for some reason lmfao, but i really hope it was worth the wait :''') see you at the bottom!! if there are typos or some things don't make sense i'm so sorry i literally gave up on proofreading this i just ended up raw-doggin it and then posting it

nav. ch1 :: ch2 :: ch3 :: ch4 :: ch5 :: ch6 :: ch7 :: ch8 :: ch9

an additional author's note. hellooo ellie here. there are some additional warnings/tags for this chapter, i added them to the tags above, so if you know you have any sort of triggers, please refer to them before reading! but if you don't have any and don't want to be spoiled ab anything then you can keep reading lol. thank youu <33

--

The restaurant address that Kai sent you was just a ten minute taxi ride away, save for the five minutes you spent trying to evasively maneuver through the hotel lobby in order to avoid running into people you’re not too keen on seeing right now, a list that stacks up to just one person at this moment.

It’s a Korean barbecue place, it’s been ages since you’ve been to one, probably since they’re way too expensive for any sort of outing you could afford these days, but the crisp sizzling sounds of the grills and the savory air has your mouth watering in a way that makes you indifferent to the cost. Anything to get this churning feeling out of your stomach. 

It’s instantly brought to your attention that Hana’s tipsy off of Soju because she’s slid out of the booth the second you emerge to the tablestide, and she’s onto her feet to pull you into a hug. You hug her back.

“I’m ssssoooooooo glad you’re—hic—here,” she says, voice sounding loud near your ear, but her embrace is surprisingly calming to you.

Her face appears flushed when you pull away, and you give her a smile and a kind hold of her elbow. “I’m happy to be here, sorry for coming late, I just decided I wanted to have dinner with you all.”

Minato is pulling on Hana’s arm to get her to sit down, which she finally agrees to, and you glance to the left side of the table where Kai sat, meticulously turning over pieces of meat on the grill. His eyes are on you, and the seat next to him is empty.

“You look nice,” he says, eyes falling to your lap under the table once you’ve taken a seat next to him.

Your eyes fall to your lap as well. “Oh. Thanks. I wasn’t really trying to look any sort of way, though.” Just faded jeans with a few rips & holes you made yourself, way back in high school when that sort of thing was trendy.

“I know,” he says, smirk heard perfectly through his words, “I like that.”

You ignore him, a fleeting thought passing through your head of how annoyingly forward men are to women they’ve met within a day, just something you’ve noticed recently, and then you’re accepting the glass of Soju that Minato’s poured for you. Quick to tip it back, you feel a burn on your tongue that’s just enough to distract.

“Today’s game was pretty interesting,” Minato speaks up, picking up a few pieces off the grill with his chop sticks and placing them on Hana’s plate first before taking some for himself. You find the gesture sweet. “The first half was intense.”

Hana nods enthusiastically, elbows rested on the tabletop as she waves her hands around in the air. “Uh huh, uh huh, the boys kicked the ball like whoosh. Goes all over the place! Can’t get a—hic—can’t get a single shot. No, I mean me, I can’t get a camera shot. Not them, they can get the shots of goals. The goals of shots? Huh.”

“Alright, you’ve had enough,” Minato grumbles as he drags the glass of Soju that she was nursing away from her. 

Kai lets out a laugh beside you, his knee bumping against yours under the table. “I’ve watched so many of these soccer games for this job, and I’ve still got no damn clue what the rules are.”

You blink down at your empty plate for a second before grabbing the silver chopsticks laid neatly on your napkin, and taking some food from the center of the table. “Really? I’ve only been to a couple, and I feel like I get the gist of it.” Maybe it’s because you had a personal interest, though.

Kai lets out a low whistle next to you. “Okay, you’re a smartass then.”

You give him a sidewards glance. “Maybe you’re just dumb?” 

Your own words startle you a bit. Minato lets a laugh out, but under his breath, while Hana does absolutely nothing to conceal hers. Kai’s eyes just widen. You bite down on a carrot stick.

“Hey, hey, hey, y/n,” Hana chirps, tapping at your wrist, “do you know any of the soccer players? Utahime said you doooo.”

You swallow slowly to buy yourself time, but give a preliminary shake of your head before answering, “no, not really.” You catch a whiff of the cologne on your wrist when you lift your glass to your lips.

“Oh,” she sulks her shoulders and then sinks down into the booth again, her head falling onto Minato’s shoulder. The man stiffens a bit and then there’s a content smile playing at his lips. A hint of a smile develops on your face too at the sight when you put two and two together. What an adorable little crush. It makes you feel sick.

Kai pours you some more Soju the second you drink down the last of it in your glass, and you nod to him as a thanks. “Pretty sure most of my photos from the first half are fucked,” he says, dragging the opening of the bottle against the rim of your glass before pulling it away, “didn’t realize until way later that my aperture was way off.”

You bring the glass to your lips, inhaling before taking a sip. You’re about to speak up about that when Minato beats you to it.

“Are you serious?” he asks, disappointed, like they’re suddenly talking business now. “I better see some good shots. Your side was where most of the action took place. Like that through-pass, tight behind the defensive line, from Nanami Kento to Gojo Satoru before he sunk it a couple mins before the half ended.”

You choke a little on your Soju at the mention of Gojo’s name, and then all three of them are looking at you. You wave a hand in front of your face. “Sorry.” 

Kai grumbles something under his breath and then stuffs a piece of pork belly into his mouth. “Yeah, whatever, man. I’m pretty sure I got some good ones. Don’t worry.”

Dinner goes on like that, where you count the number of times Kai thinks that someone saying something funny across the table is an excuse to press his thigh against yours, but at least the cute way that Hana and Minato seem to inch closer to one another all night is enough to put you at some sort of bitter ease. But that unsettling feeling in your stomach from a couple of hours ago still lingers.

The four of you stand outside the restaurant, heels rocking back and forth in the cold as you all take up the last chance to debrief the day, and then Minato’s glancing at his watch.

“Alright, it’s probably time to head back. We can all share a ride to the hotel, it’s cheaper that way,” Minato says. Hana’s clinging to his sleeve.

“Oh, uh, I was going to stay here. There’s a cool camera shop around the corner. I was gonna check it out,” Kai says, pointing over his shoulder before glancing at you. “Wanna come? I saw they’ve got used film cameras.”

You twiddle with the hotel key card in your pocket. It’s cheap plastic, could break easily with just the right amount of pressure. Like your resolve right now. “Sure.”

He smiles at you.

“Alright, well I need to get this one back to her room,” Minato says with a sigh, pointing to Hana, “so I’ll see you all at the next game?”

You and Kai nod at him and then watch as he walks away with Hana on his arm towards the curb, pulling his phone out to call for a ride.

“Where’s this camera shop at?” you ask Kai once the silence between the two of you stretches out a little too long. 

“It really is just around the corner,” he says, shoving his hands in the pockets of his jacket. He starts walking down the row of miscellaneous shops and establishments under dim street lighting, and you follow after him before the two of you circle to the adjacent end. A tiny shop in the distance catches your eye. The LED sign above the storefront was blinking sporadically, and read 17th St Camera & Rentals, except half the letters were extinct of any light. Next to it was a 24/7 liquor store.

It’s only when you walk right up to it that you realize the sign dangling behind the glass door that says closed.

“Oh. Bummer,” Kai comments in a flat tone. “I swear it was open before I got to the restaurant.”

You sigh, pulling your phone out to glance at the time. “Yeah, at 8pm? It’s past 10 now.”

He looks at you and taps the camera case still hung at his neck. “That’s fine. I’ve still got a camera to show you, anyways.”

You blink your eyes at him, suddenly feeling a bit exhausted and then glance over your shoulder at the curb of the street to see if Minato & Hana were still there waiting for a ride. You don’t see them anymore. 

A distraction. Wasn’t that what you wanted?

“Yeah, show me.”

Kai seems to know the area better than you, since he walks down the haphazardly lain sheets of concrete across the ground with more confidence than a tourist would. The thought occurs to you that maybe the newsletter photographers have eaten here before during their time in Kyoto.

“What made you start working with the newsletter?” you ask, glancing at him as the two of you walk down further, into what seems like a neighborhood.

He shrugs. “First job I could find out of college. I had a lot of freelance experience, so I’m assuming that’s why they hired me.” He nudges your arm with his elbow. “What about you?”

“I’ve known Utahime for a while. She was impressed with my work.”

“Ahh, connections,” he muses, “smart. That’ll get you far as an artist.”

He suddenly stops walking and peers off to the right, into a darkness that you can’t really make anything out of until you’ve spent a few seconds staring too. He walks in that direction, the loud echoing stomps of his boots on concrete no longer audible once he crosses the threshold onto grass, and you follow behind to what seems like a deserted children’s park. You wish there were more trees in the city. There are a lot here in the countryside, and it makes you homesick for something you’re not even sure of.

A gust of wind brushes through, rattling the set of swings hung on rusty chains. The wood chips underneath your feet feel stale, with no snap to them at all as you follow Kai through the playhouses set up in connected fashion. There are two picnic benches, one looks like it’s been freshly painted with faux effort to improve its image in the line of sight of the street, while the other has red paint peeled back to reveal bronze underneath the moonlight, neglected and tucked behind a few trees. The latter is what he chooses.

He slides into the bench, and he shakes his head when he sees you try to take a seat on the other side before patting at the seat beside him. “It’d be easier for you to take a look at my side.”

He has a point, so you sit next to him instead. Although at this point in the night, you were feigning interest. He zips his camera bag open and you take a better look at the lens. There’s no way it was as cheap as he told you it was.

“There’s no way this was as cheap as you told me it was,” you say.

He laughs, pulling the camera out and handing it to you. “Yeah, maybe the guy cut me a deal since I’ve bought from him before.”

You’re smart enough to put the strap around your neck, even though you’re only holding it a few inches above the table, because a camera like this deserves the care and respect. The material is minimalist and sleek, and it’s heavy in your hands. You click the shutter button, screen coming to life with a few mechanic chirps. “Woah. Is it LCD or OLED?”

“LCD.”

“That’s nice,” you say, “paying for the OLED just seems silly to me.”

“I concur, Canon. Color accuracy is king.”

He shuffles to pull something out of his pocket while you continue to inspect the camera in your hands, and you see him fidget with said thing over the table in the corner of your eye. The flick of something and the light of something makes you turn your head to face him, and he’s pinching the end of a joint to his mouth, lighting the other end.

He gives you a glance when you stare for too long, inhaling from it before pulling it from his mouth. “What?” You can see the smoke leave his mouth in the chill of the air.

“Is that why you chose the secluded bench?”

“I did? Didn’t even notice.”

You blink at him, and he places his elbow on the table to lean closer to you. 

“Do you mind it?” he asks.

“No, not really.”

“Wanna smoke with me?” Two fingers pinching the origin of smoke tilt towards you. “This is my good weed, though, so, I charge by the drag.”

“That’s ridiculous, and no thanks. It doesn’t suit me.”

He lets out a laugh, releasing whatever tension he was building in your space, and the smell of weed is nauseating, but at least it's a new sensation to you.

“You’ve gotta be the only film major on the planet that doesn’t smoke weed. How do you manage?” he asks, the orange flicker of his joint being the only color you can distinctly see under the similarly flickering street lights. 

Your finger traces the rim of the camera lens and is careful to not smudge the glass. “I think I manage just fine.”

“Yeah. With delusion,” he says, coughing, scattering smoke into the air this time instead of a clean blow.

You turn a bit in your seat to face him more, placing the camera down. “You’re extremely blunt.”

His eyebrow raises in amusement and you close your eyes with annoyance at the pun. You brush it off.

“I mean, seriously, I get you’re probably just looking out for me, I guess. I appreciate that. But do you really think my dreams of becoming a filmmaker are that far-fetched?” you ask. There’s a crack to your voice at the end that you didn’t like.

He sighs, setting his wrist down on the table. There’s a long pause where he thinks about what to say. Probably the most you’ve seen him consider what words leave his mouth next. “I was in the same shoes as you, y/n. A couple years ago. I, too, had big dreams of making movies. I was going to apply to film grad school as well, although you’re shooting higher than I was at the time. There’s no way I would’ve gotten into UTokyo’s.” He tilts his head to the side a few times while looking straight off ahead. “I sent scripts in everywhere. To every fucking production company, creative agency, you name it. Never got a callback, not even once. While all my fellow grads were landing decent, respectable jobs.” He brings the joint to his mouth again, but he doesn’t inhale, just bitterly bites it. “I could’ve went on like that, but,” his brow furrows, “I’ve seen my peers torture themselves for years for those dreams of theirs. I swore I wouldn’t be one of them. Because they’re all delusional fucks.” He finally glances at you. “Are you one, too?”

Your shoulders drop a little and your lips purse. “I don’t know yet. It’s too early to say.” 

“It’s never too early to say, if the outcome is all the same,” he tells you. 

You consider his words for a moment. It’s the easy way out. You should consider yourself lucky. Everyone wants a reason, a sign, to turn away from the one thing they’re scared to think about. And here he was, giving that to you on a silver platter.

But if what you wanted was really all that fragile, then it means there’s nothing to show for any of it. For all the effort it took you to get here, and all the effort you’re still willing to give. 

“I’ll keep going until I fail,” you say, “or until I succeed.” It’s not really something you say for him, but for yourself.

He juts his bottom lip out and raises his eyebrows, slowly nodding his head, like he’s impressed by you. But his posture remains lax. “I mean, you’re working this job. You’ve got some sort of plan, at least. It’s not like I’m your parent to tell you what to do and what not to do.” He finally takes another drag, eyebrows pinching together at the same time his fingers pinch close to the burn of his joint to pull it away. “What’s that one saying? You can take a horse to the water, but you can’t make it drink.”

“Wow. You don’t sound a day older than sixty-five.”

He smirks at you. “You’ve got a lot of attitude, Canon. Where does it come from?”

You sink a little in your seat, turning away from him to look down at your hands that were still messing with the features of his camera. “My annoying feelings lately.”

“Feelings about what?”

You consider telling the truth. But you don’t. “My car is in repair and I’m not sure I can afford to pay for the bill, since things keep coming up with it.” It was the thing at the top of your mind at the moment though, for some reason, so partially truthful.

He laughs. “Yeah, cars have a way of doing that when you’re finally getting caught up on bills.”

“At what point does spontaneously picking up random, obscure jobs go from omg I’m so excited to have this opportunity to I just need the money?” you ask.

“You mean you’re not already at that point yet?” he says with a scoff. “Soon, then.”

You sigh.

“Y’know I used to work at this lousy cinema a few miles away from Central,” he tells you, hand tapping the table with a rhythm that makes no sense. “Busted my ass working minimum wage on night shifts because I thought I’d catch a big break in conversation with a director, as if Martin Fucking Scorcese would choose to host his opening night at a random Edwards in Tokyo.” His tapping on the table stops. “Tell me that isn’t pathetic as hell.”

“That’s pathetic as hell.”

“The things you’ll do for money,” he says with a sigh. He sounds detached, like it’s really just a message for you.

You lick your lips, skin feeling dry from the wind that occasionally brushes by, and when you glance at Kai again, there’s a grit to his jaw.

“Should’ve been born as one of those damn college athletes,” he grumbles, sucking in fast through the joint that was close to withering away. “Those fuckers don’t pay tuition.”

The harsh colors of the soccer team’s color-coded practice schedule on your phone are visible when you blink, as well as the exhaustion under Gojo’s eyes in the warm lighting of the hotel lobby earlier tonight. “They work hard.”

He looks at you. “I work hard, too.”

Your shoulders tense. “I’m sure.”

“You work hard as well.” Just to include you.

“Yeah.”

“I mean, you can’t tell me that it’s fair.”

Your mind wanders to some of the people you’ve met on that team, who have been nice to you. You think of Gojo, and the memory of him makes you wish you were with him right now. Despite everything.

“I guess it’s not fair,” is all you say, a tactic to diffuse the conversation, one that you’ve had to use twice with him today. The sound of the swing chains clinking together from the wind in the distance runs a chill down your spine.

You feel heavy in your chest, and you glance at the joint pinched in between Kai’s fingers. He’s not keeping an eye on it, so it’s easy to steal, and you bring it to your lips before sucking in. You instantly let out a few coughs. He’s looking at you with surprise. And you’re still in desperate need of that distraction you’ve been craving.

“How long does it take for it to kick in?” you ask, coughing again and pressing a hand to your chest.

“Super long when you can barely stomach a single drag.”

You try again. He watches you. You swear you feel a buzz this time, and you hand the joint back to him. You feel like you’re having an out-of-body experience.

“How are you feeling?” he asks.

“Good,” you tell him, “really good.”

“That’s gotta be placebo, Canon.”

“No, really,” you sigh it. Even if it was, maybe your mind was just blessing you with a single moment of reprieve. “I feel…really good,” you say with your head in a haze. “Best I’ve…” you don’t know why you have to blink back tears, “best I’ve felt this whole week.”

Kai’s silent next to you. You look over at him, and he’s got a scrutinizing expression on his face. His eyes are glazed. “You seeing anyone right now, Canon?”

It’s the savory question you know has been on the tip of his tongue. Ignorantly asked, as if you would’ve been sitting here with him right now in the dead of night if the answer was yes. 

“No.”

He’s leaning towards you, and you’re dazed and also sleepy. His face is close now, there’s an urge to giggle, which means there’s no way this is all just placebo, and when his lips dip towards yours, you’re conscious enough to push him away by a weakly fisted hand pressed to his collarbone.

“Oh. I. Um,” you stutter.

“What?” he asks, eyebrow raised, still close to you.

“No. No thanks.” Because it felt wrong. 

He fully pulls away from you, and runs a hand through his hair, a deep sigh leaving him. “Alright.”

You’re breathing faster now, surroundings feeling vague, like you’re in sweltering heat but the air only bites cold.

You stand up suddenly. “I…I want to go back.”

“Go back where?”

“To the hotel. To my room.” You pause. “I mean, by myself. Not with you. We can share a ride, though.”

He stands up too, hands reaching for you, gripping the straps of his camera still hung around your neck and he pulls it off to place it back into the case. You feel like you’ve lost favor with him somehow. “Okay. Sure.” 

“But not with you.” You felt the need to clarify again.

“I get it, Canon. It’s fine.”

—

“Maybe you just need to fuck him aggressively without mercy.”

“I beg your finest pardon?”

You’re sitting in a booth inside this streetside KFC with Mina sitting across the table, waving a fry around in the air, and with Nobara next to you as she tries to open a packet of ketchup with her teeth. The hangout the three of you have been hyping up all week, just to be sat in the same place you always go to. You were about to take a bite out of your sandwich, but you set it back down on your tray.

Mina points the fry at you and shrugs. “I’m saying. Maybe you’re having such a hard time getting over Gojo because you got so close to fucking him in that bathroom, but you didn’t, and now you’re in, like, this constant state of edging.” She bites down on the fry. “The clit knows what the heart doesn’t.”

“Your theories never fail to amaze me,” you mumble, sinking further into the booth. 

“Perhaps it’ll take the edge off.” Mina sucks through the straw of her Diet coke. Nobara finally succeeds in opening her packet of ketchup.

“I doubt it. Besides, I technically already gave him an invitation to,” you say, fingers rubbing at your eye with a swipe as you wince from the memory, “and he rejected me, so, still swimming in the self hatred from that one.”

Mina hums. “There’s no way he’s not foaming at the mouth for it, y/n. Men never let a meal they were craving go unfinished,” she states, dramatically stabbing a chicken nugget with a fork.

“What kind of pigs do you guys associate yourselves with?” Nobara asks. She’s a lesbian, by the way.

“I raise another question. Why are we talking about this in a public restaurant?” you offer.

“Listen, babes,” Mina continues, like your words fall on deaf ears because she’s got some point to make, “it’ll either poof. Make your feelings go away like the drop of a hat because you find out he’s a bad lay. Or it’ll be so good that you realize you’re never getting over him and you’ll be thinking of his dick instead of your husband’s on your wedding night.”

“We’re. In. A. Public. Restaurant.”

Mina steals a biscuit from your tray. “If it ends up being the first outcome, then the whole thing was my idea. If it’s the second…then just know that Nobara has steered you wrong.”

“Why the hell do you have to drag me into this?” Nobara asks.

You’re about to take a bite from your sandwich again when you’re interrupted by the buzzing of your phone in your purse. You pull it out and glance at the caller ID, then let out a sigh.

“Sorry, I have to take this,” you mumble, slipping out of the booth and towards the restaurant’s exit, pushing the tense door open with a gust of fresh air brushed through you.

“Hello?” It’s the car repair man. “Really? I thought you said it was fixed.” Apparently something else came up. “Okay…how much longer will it be in repair?” Much longer than you had thought. “And how much will it cost?” Much more expensive than you had thought. “I don’t know what to say. I mean, really, I feel as though every time I’m on the line with you all, I have to wait longer to get my car back, and the bill just racks up higher.” They’re trying their best. “I know. Is it necessary to fix in order to drive, though?” State laws require it. “Okay…thanks for the update.” And then you hang up without another word, and with all the frustration in the world.

You head back inside and grumble about your car woes to Mina and Nobara, who try their best to respond with interest.

“Why can’t your insurance cover it?” Mina asks.

“Apparently they can’t claim it’s because of those rocks I drove over,” you sigh, “since it looks like it’s been a problem for longer than that.”

“Can you afford it?” Nobara asks.

“Not really,” you say. “I’ll just have to postpone having my car for a bit.”

You sigh with a glance out the window of this fine dining establishment, into the blue skies just beyond, head drowning out the voices of Mina and Nobara as they continue to grill you about all sorts of questions that you don’t have the energy to answer right now. You had another student loan payment to make once you got home today, and just the thought of it makes your heart drop a little. And you realize you just can’t afford to be picky about your financial situation anymore.

—

“Thanks for helping me out with this,” you say, footsteps over familiar grassy hills as you head towards the UTokyo’s practice field, your digital Canon EOS hanging from your neck. 

“Sure,” Kai says as he keeps pace next to you, “why the sudden mission, though?”

You’re gazing off straight ahead, a nervous pit in your stomach since it’s been a while since you’ve walked across this landscape towards the field. 

“I just feel like I need to diversify my income somehow,” you sigh, the buzzwords leaving a bitter taste in your mouth as you say them but it was the reality of your situation, “to make ends meet. When you mentioned freelance work during our conversation last week, it made me think it’s time for me to pick that up too.”

Kai hums. “Yeah, it’s a good plan. I’ll try to show you what I know.”

Once you’ve made it to the top of that hill, the one that oversees the field, your eyes instantly scan the field for familiar silhouettes, and your breath catches in your throat when you spot Gojo passively kicking a ball back and forth between one of his teammates for warm-ups.

It’s the second time you’ve seen him since that argument the two of you had in the hotel lobby, the first being at the post-game conference in which you did everything in your power to swiftly avoid him, and you plan on keeping that up. There’s also an urge to run away, but you’re starting to realize that’s not much of an option anymore.

“Honestly, you don’t really need to worry too much about shutter speed with freelance like you do for shooting sports,” Kai is mumbling next to you as he messes with the settings on his camera, the two of you making your way down the hill towards the field, and you’re not really listening because your eyes are on Gojo, who’s yelling something across the field to his teammates with a look of concentration on his face.

“Uh huh, I see,” you say. You see Kai glance at you in his periphery.

“You again!” you hear a familiar harsh voice call out, and you turn on your heel to face Coach Yaga who’s standing a few feet away in his custom UTokyo tracksuit with his arms crossed against his chest. “Why are you on my field?”

You hold your breath for a second. “Hi, Coach Yaga, so sorry, but I’m just here to take some more photos.”

He lets out one of his hmphs, unrelenting. “You’re a distraction. Get off my field.”

“D-Distraction?”

“Coach!” Suddenly, Geto’s in your line of sight as he emerges with a light jog up to your side. “You should really be nicer to our photographers, they give us a lot of publicity for our games. And publicity means funding.”

Coach Yaga narrows his eyes. “I need all my players focused right now. Even during practice.” He gives you a disapproving glance and you’re still confused, but also weirdly angered.

“Excuse me, Coach Yaga, but last time I checked, this field is technically open for all students. And I’m a student,” you say to him, crossing your arms across your chest now. “So, I can be here if I want.”

You have no idea if that’s true at all, but sometimes you’ve just gotta fake it ‘til you make it.

Coach Yaga grumbles something and then waves his hands in the air. “Fine! I’ve no bandwidth to argue about this anymore! Just don’t distract my players.”

You’re shocked that it worked, and Geto nudges you with an elbow to correct your expression so that Coach Yaga doesn’t catch on to the bullshit you just spewed. 

“Are you here to take some photos?” Geto asks, facing you. He’s got his hands on his hips, breathing slightly fast, some of his hair falling onto his forehead. 

“Yeah, I am, just for practice though. I’m here with—” you glance at Kai, who’s standing with his fists shoved into his pockets, “Kai. He’s also with the newsletter.”

There’s a moment where Geto studies the two of you for a second before speaking. “I know,” he says, extending his hand out for Kai to shake, which he does, “I think I’ve seen you around. Not sure if we’ve formally met, but it’s nice to meet you.”

“Yeah, likewise.” Kai’s hand is then shoved back into his pocket.

You feel awkward suddenly, and then quickly say something to Geto about how he should probably get back to practice, which he agrees to, and then you’re standing at the chalk sideline with Kai as he shows you the ins and outs about digital photography.

“Have you tried shooting in burst mode?” he asks, switching the feature on your camera and then handing it back to you. You sling the strap around your neck.

“Hm…” you start, pointing your camera across the expanse of the field to multiple areas. The trees off into the distance, the goal posts, Coach Yaga’s yapping Pomeranian. “Not really…” The grass beneath your feet, the sky above your head, and then blurrily focused before settling on Gojo who stood in the distance straight ahead.

You see through your viewfinder that he’s caught sight of you too, a look of surprise on his face seen only by the level of zoom, and you glance up from the screen to make eye contact with him in reality. He’s fully staring at you, and you can barely see the way his expression relaxes from that one of athletic concentration to something wistful and strange that you’ve had a hard time reading lately.

“Canon? Are you even listening?”

“Huh?” you snap out of it and look at Kai. “Sorry. Could you repeat that?” You quickly glance toward Gojo again, and his line of sight points towards Kai now.

“I was asking if you’ve tried panning before,” he says, reaching for your camera, pulling it towards him, but the strap around your neck means you’re pulled closer to him too. 

“Satoru!” Coach Yaga yells in the distance. “Eyes on the ball!” 

“Just got to set your camera to manual mode first,” Kai mutters, confusion in his voice. “Where the fuck is it?” He’s turning your camera in his hands, which only has you stumbling with another small step towards him, your chest pressed flush to his arm, and he looks down at you for a brief second with a smirk on his face.

You hear the sound of a ball being kicked on the field, followed by the shout of one of the players.

“Ah, here, found it,” Kai says, handing your camera back to you, and just as you’re about to say thanks and you hold your camera up, you’re hit straight in the face by a flying object and fall backwards onto the grass with a painful thud.

What the fuck?

Where are you?

Who are you?

Okay, that’s dramatic, it wasn’t that bad.

There’s shouting in the distance as you hold your head with a groan, eyes shut tight with images of your life flashing behind your eyelids, and when you open your eyes again from where you’re sat up on the grass, you’re surrounded by soccer players.

Gojo’s suddenly in your line of sight, knelt down beside you and he’s holding your shoulders, trying to get you to look at him but you’re still blinking away the stars you’re seeing. “Fuck, y/n, are you okay?” he asks, and you register the concern on his face.

“Dude,” one of his teammates kicks the heel of his cleat, “where the fuck were you looking? It was clear as day I was tryna pass to you.”

Gojo grumbles something to him, his brow furrowed, and he’s lowering his head to try to make eye-level contact with you but you’re still holding your head with a wince.

“Oh shit,” Kai comments, “she’s bleeding.”

You pull your hand from your face to glance down at the wetness that you feel, and bright red color stains the tips of your fingers.

The next thing you register is Gojo picking you up off the hard grassy ground into his arms, and starts carrying you away down the field.

“W-What the hell are you doing?” you ask, his pacing across the grass is fast and you have to wrap your arms around his neck to keep from getting dizzy.

“I’m taking you to the hospital,” he says, voice strained in his throat, and you’ve never seen him look so worried before. 

“The hospital?! Please don’t, I don’t have health insurance right now.” His face is so close and you’re distracted from the pain of your headache.

“You’re bleeding on the face, I’m taking you whether you like it or not,” he grumbles.

You dig your nails into his shoulder through the nylon of his shirt, and he hisses from the pain before stopping in his tracks. “I don’t need to go to the hospital, Satoru, I just need a fucking bandaid.”

“You could have a concussion.”

“A concussion?!” You kick your feet for him to let you down but his grip on you only tightens. “You’re being ridiculous. Let me go, or I’ll bite you.”

He scoffs at that and continues walking forward. “You’re gonna bite me? That’s the most threatening thing you could come up with?”

“I’m being so dead serious, Gojo Satoru. No hospital.”

He grumbles something under his breath at your use of his full government name, and then says “fine” but he’s still walking down the grass until his cleats begin to tap on concrete, and then on what sounds like tile as he carries you into a building a few yards from the field.

He seats you on a cold counter, your hand gripping the faucet of a sink, and you finally take a comprehensive look at your surroundings. light blue, faint scent of chlorine in the air

“Is this…a locker room? The men's locker room?”

He sighs, bending his knees a bit to look at your face closely. You flinch when his hand reaches out, and he pauses, but you relax slightly and then he rubs his thumb over your cheek. You feel the smear of a droplet of blood. “Yes. I need running water.” He turns the faucet of the sink on to run his thumb under.

“For what?” you ask. His thumb is running over your cheek again.

“To take care of this cut.” He disappears behind a tile wall for a moment. You can hear metal clanking, probably of a locker opening and closing, and he re-emerges with a first-aid kit.

You slide your butt across the counter to the edge, about to hop off and make a run for it when he grabs your hips and puts you back into place. “Don’t even think about it,” he grumbles. He leans forward, grips you strongly, and you see that he’s still breathing heavily from practice, strands of hair stuck to his forehead with sweat, and you can practically taste the salt on his neck. 

You press your shin to the front of his thigh, desperate to put some space between the two of you. “I don’t wanna be in here. Men are scary.”

“Well I can’t take you into the women’s locker room,” he says, ripping the packet of an antiseptic wipe open with his teeth, “I’d get registered as a sex offender.”

You attempt at an escape again, and he’s quick to get his hands on you to stop it.

“Quit manhandling me, or I’ll scream,” you threaten through gritted teeth, because you’re still mad at him. For everything.

“Go ahead,” he says, using his knee to spread your legs apart, then finds a place to stand between your thighs to get closer to you. “I’ve got a lot of ways I could shut you up.”

You blink at him, breath catching in your throat, and the expression on his face tells you he’s not interested in dealing with your stubbornness anymore.

“Just hold still,” he grumbles, placing the packet down on your thigh and then stepping off to the side to wash his hands under the sink.

“What exactly happened?” you ask, watching him dry his hands off with a few paper towels. One moment, Kai was trying to explain good digital photography to you, and the next you were dizzy from being knocked back onto the ground.

“You got hit by a soccer ball.”

“I know, but how?” You remember your camera hit your face from the impact too, and now you’re worried about it.

“I…wasn’t paying attention when my teammate passed it,” he admits with a sigh, finding his place in front of you again, the knuckles of his clean hand brushing across your cheek, caressing. Your expression softens slightly. He uses a hand spread across the small of your back to push you forward to him, then he gently passes the wipe over your wound.

“Oh okay so, you failed to protect me from a flying soccer ball.” 

He pulls his hand from you to read the lettering on the back of the packet. “I’m patching you up now, aren’t I?” he says, annoyed. “…oh fuck, I was supposed to go in with water first.”

“So glad to be in such good hands right now.” 

He gives you a pointed look, but you ignore it and turn your torso to see your reflection in the mirror for the first time. You had a small wound on your cheek, right over the bone, with some bleeding and it’s wider than it is deep. But when you look at Gojo again, who’s putting some ointment onto a Q-tip now, the look of guilt and worry on his face makes you feel satisfied for some reason, and you wanted to make it worse.

“Does it hurt?” he asks, brow furrowed, applying the cold gel to your cheek.

“Mhm. A lot.” Not really, no.

“Fuck. I’m sorry,” he sighs, head dipping towards you slightly to get a better look, “can you feel this?”

“Ahh, yeah. Ouch. So much.” Barely.

His other hand is placed flat on the counter next to where you’re sitting, and you allow it when his thumb starts to run soothing circles over your hip.

“Hmm…” you start, wide eyes looking up at him as he seems to lean closer and closer to you with every word that leaves your lips, “I really wonder if it’ll leave a scar.”

He looks tortured. His hand that was maneuvering the Q-tip in his hands drops to the counter now, and he brings his other one to your face, cupping your cheek. His eyes dart from the wound, thumb pressing at the plush of your cheek, and this time, it hurts a little so you wince. His expression is tense, some sort of inner turmoil you could read across his forehead, and then his jaw hardens.

“Who was that guy you were talking to earlier?”

You blink a few, then tilt your head slightly. You feel like you’re on a game show, where there’s four options and only one right answer. New boytoy, gay best friend, fuck buddy, or— “He’s my coworker.”

“That’s it?”

“Mhm.”

“Has he tried anything funny with you?” 

You almost roll your eyes. “No, dad, he hasn’t.”

“Woah. Say that again but make it daddy.”

“Hey just a quick question for you. Where do you get the audacity?”

His bent index finger finds a place under your chin, tilting your head up so you’re forced to look at him. “It’s your fault, really. I can’t help it sometimes,” he says, voice lower now. You’re squirming a little, wanting to push him away but his lips get close to your cheek, brushing near your wound, like he wants to make it all better somehow. “I really am sorry,” he whispers, near your ear. There’s a whimper you have to stifle in your throat. He pulls aways just enough to where he can look into your eyes. “A cut…” he starts, thumb now passing over your bottom lip, “on your pretty face.” He sighs. You shouldn’t, but when he prods, you tuck his thumb under your front teeth and your tongue presses slightly against the padded skin of it. He looks like he’s being driven to insanity, and his other hand has no shame at all in pulling you towards him, to seat you at the edge of the counter, and you miss the texture of his thumb on your tongue when he pulls it from your mouth. But it’s so he can dip his head down to kiss you instead.

Of course the sensation of his lips on yours only lasts for a second, because the universe really fucking hates (or loves?) you, so the loud clanking of a metal water bottle against tile interrupts with harsh reverberation throughout the locker room walls, and he pulls away from you when you jump at the sound.

You both turn your heads towards the origin, located at the curved end of the entryway hall, and one of Gojo’s teammates is standing there with his duffle bag slung around his neck and hanging heavily to his thigh, his water bottle clutched in his hand. He blinks at the two of you.

Oh. It’s the one you kissed at that party a few weeks ago.

“What—…Why is there a—” his teammate starts, panicked, turning his head to double check the sign on the locker room wall as if he’s hallucinating, and when his eyes land on you again, they widen with recognition. His gaze shifts, and his chin tips down at the sight of Gojo’s irritated side eye from where he was still all up in your personal space. “…you know what. Nevermind.”

His teammate’s eyes are on you again, and you give him a shy little wave, just a fluttering of your fingers in the air paired with a small smile, legs swinging back and forth under the counter. He lets out an amused scoff from the entryway, lifting his hand to return the gesture, some cheeky grin on his face as he then scratches the back of his head before turning on his heel to leave the locker room, out of sight. You let out a sigh, hand dropping to your lap, and you don’t need to look at Gojo to tell that he’s staring at you with disbelief.

“What the fuck was that—”

“You,” you interrupt him, finger jabbing at the center of his chest, “have seriously got a lot of fucking nerve,” you hop off the counter, “to not only allow a soccer ball to sock me in the face,” he’s taking a step back with every harsh jab of your finger, “but to also hold me hostage in a mens’ locker room,” his back is pressed up against cold tile wall now while he just looks down at you with wide eyes and something akin to fear, “and then, oh my god, the audacity to kiss me?”

“I—”

“I don’t wanna hear it!” you yell, which shuts him up. “You really are just a fucking player.”

He’s stiff, not wanting to catch a punishment from you right now.

“But it doesn’t matter,” you grumble, still drilling your finger into his ribcage with the intent to cause pain. You didn’t need to be this close, but his body is warm, probably due to the blood pumping from practice, and it feels nice to be pressed up against. “Because I don’t have feelings for you anymore, so just fucking get over yourself.” It was a lie if you’ve ever told one, but you wanted to believe it so much that it could come off as the truth.

His eyes narrow down at you, eyebrows flattening. “You don’t have feelings for me anymore?”

“No, I don’t.”

“I don’t believe you.”

You roll your eyes. “Why? Because you want me to keep suffering?”

He grabs your hips, then makes a motion that is evident of his desire to pull you flush to him, but he stops himself. There’s a moment where he just takes a few deep breaths and looks at you with a hardened expression, then a split second where his eyes fall to that little cut on your cheek, and every single feature of his face softens, and then he lets you go.

You take a small step back, breathing heavily of your own, and you feel the ghost sensation of his fingertips wrapped around your hips. It makes you feel dizzy, and your thoughts are a mess. 

He sighs. “Sorry. For the soccer ball, and this locker room. But I’m not really sorry for kissing you, and if that makes me a jerk, then so be it.”

Your heart is beating fast. “You are a jerk, Satoru,” you say. He doesn’t like you, he doesn’t want you. A mantra played over and over in your head that you’ve started to hear it at night. “A real fucking jerk.” And you leave him standing there in a way that feels like the hundredth time.

—

2:34pm kaito (work): yo

2:34pm kaito (work): i had my guy look at your camera

2:35pm kaito (work): it’s pretty fucked up

2:37pm you: :( oh okay isee. does he have an estimate for the fix? the lens is okay though right?

2:39pm kaito (work): yeah lens is fine, you should really count your blessings on that. 

2:40pm kaito (work): but nah, fix would be around the same as the cost of it, so you’re better off getting a new one

2:42pm you: i don’t have thousands of yen laying around unfortunately. my car bill has sucked me dry

2:44pm kaito (work): well let me check with him. maybe he can hook you up with a good deal on a used one

2:45pm kaito (work): i got a 50% off on one of my canon cameras i bought from him a few years back. maybe he’s still got some like that

2:46pm you: yes could you check with him please? thanks so much, really

2:48pm kaito (work): sure. although i think the guy that kicked the ball to your face should be paying for your camera replacement

2:51pm you: they were just practicing. it’s their field

2:56pm kaito (work): alright. btw, you free tonight?

You blink at your phone screen from where you were sprawled across your bed. Before you have a chance to type out a response, your phone lights up with a phone call from kaito (work). You accept the call.

“Oh, hi,” you say.

“Hey, are you free tonight?”

“Oh uhh, I was just about to check my schedule.” You shake your head at your inability to come up with an excuse on the spot.

“Okay,” he says on the other line. You hear the sounds of cars honking in the distance. “Well let me know. I just left my camera guy’s shop, and he was telling me about how one of his friends does visuals for a short-film director, and that the director is looking for an assistant.” Kai grumbles something about someone he walked past being rude. “I think the director’s agency is Verve Films, so.”

You sit up in bed, eyes wide at the mention of the name. “Oh, oh wow. That’s insane.”

“Yup,” he says, “anyways, apparently the director is busy as fuck, so he left the hiring process up to my camera guy’s friend. I told him I knew someone that might be interested. Are you?”

You take a deep breath in and out. “Yeah, I am. Most of my experience on my resume lines up with short-film, so I’d be able to—”

“Alright great,” he interrupts, “so we can hold the interview tonight.”

“We?” you ask.

“Well yeah, me, my camera guy, the hiring guy. Maybe go for drinks or something.”

Your brow furrows. “That hardly sounds like an interview.”

Kai sighs. “Well, it’s not an interview for a desk job or something. It’s more of like—well, like building connections. I know you know all about that, since Utahime got you the newsletter job.”

Well, yes. She put a word in for you, which helped get the interview, but you still went against qualified applicants. “I guess.”

“It’ll be like that. Most opportunities you’ll get if you still want to pursue filmmaking are going to be like that,” he tells you, “if it feels informal, it means you’re doing it right. You might not think so now because you’re still in school, where they practically serve opportunities to students on platters, but it’s going to be different in the real world.”

You lay your head back onto the pillow, feeling like you’re receiving a lecture you didn’t ask for, and your first instinct is to pretend that you know better than he does. But when you think about all the stress recently, all of the not knowing, and the unsure, you question if you should start leaning into the advice of the people around you, and start to accept this career path for what it’s known to be. Unruly, unconventional, and a lot of times, unfair. 

“I see. Well, can I think about it? Tonight is too soon, I’d need time to research the director, put a portfolio together, and also do some interview prep,” you say, pulling your phone from your ear to glance at the time.

“Well, tonight’s the only night that works since their team’s shooting abroad for the weekend and they leave tomorrow morning,” he says.

You purse your lips together.

“But also,” Kai says, “it’s the nice thing to do, y’know, since my camera guy is taking the time to look at your camera for free, you could at least help his friend out. By the way, he just texted me, he does have some used Canons available at discount.”

You close your eyes for a second, just trying to process this conversation right now. Kai was speaking too fast, hardly enough time for you to even think.

“So do you want to do the interview tonight?”

“Yes, sure. Okay. Just— just send me the details. I’ll be there,” you say.

“Alright cool, will do.” 

You say bye, and then he hangs up.

A few hours pass by, where you spend some time putting together a flash drive of a couple of your best short films you’ve worked on in the past with other directors, as well as a portfolio of some recently developed film photography. The last thing to do was grab your emergency stash of print outs of your resume, and then you stuff it all into a folder before glancing at the mirror to take in your reflection. It felt extremely weird to show up to a job interview in something as casual as what you were wearing right now, but Kai insisted to not wear anything business. But at least you opted for jeans that don’t have any DIY holes in them.

Your face is glued to the navigation on your phone screen the second you get out of the taxi, and you walk down the bustling nightlife streets of Tokyo to get to this bar that Kai sent you the address of. But just as you’re about to turn the corner to your destination down the bar strip, you bump into someone’s chest due to lack of paying any proper attention.

“Ah— I’m so sorry,” you say, your grip on your phone tightening when you realize it was about to get knocked out of your hand, and then you look up to see a familiar face.

“Oh!” Geto exclaims from where he’s standing right in front of you, “You’re everywhere, y/n. What are you doing here?”

You open your mouth to speak, hesitate for a second, and then continue. “I’m here to…get drinks with some of my friends.”

He gives you a smile. “That’s nice. I am too.” He points over his shoulder to behind him. “Nanami got into his MBA program earlier this week, so, Satoru, Choso and I are buying him a few rounds. Or possibly a million. The plan is to incapacitate him as punishment for giving up on playing in the national league with us.”

You humor him with a laugh. “That’s sweet. Or not? Well anyway, tell him I said congrats.” Your heart starts to beat a little faster, because from the direction Geto came from, it meant Gojo was likely just around the corner somewhere. “Where are you heading to now?”

“We’re bar hopping, and I think I forgot my phone at the last one we went to over there,” he says, pointing across the street. “So I’m going to go look for it.” 

“Oh alright,” you say. “Good luck with that. I’m going to go find my, uh, my friends.”

Geto tilts his head at you and had a slightly more serious expression on his face, glancing at the folder in your hands. “Thanks. And stay safe.” 

You nod at him and then walk past him to round the corner onto the street that had groups of people loitering in front of restaurants, bars and all sorts of establishments as they wait in the cold to get inside or be seated. You recognize the name on one of the signs hanging as the one Kai sent you in his message, and when you’re a few feet away from it, you spot Kai. He’s wearing his typical street photographer wear, with a red flannel over a gray shirt and pants that are possibly a size too big for him, but that’s likely the style he was going for. He’s standing with two other people.

“Hey,” you greet Kai first, who has a pleasant look on his expression before he greets you back and gestures to the two people he was with.

“Yo, this is Junichi, my camera guy,” he says. “Don’t bother shaking his hand, he’s a germaphobe. Gotta keep ‘em clean for the electronics.”

“Oh,” you say. Junichi is a big man, broad shoulders and thick muscles. His neck is almost as thick as his bicep, and he has no hair on his head. His arms are crossed. “It’s nice to meet you. Thank you for taking a look at my camera.”

He nods at you in acknowledgment. “Sure thing. Pretty Boy here says you want to buy one of my used Canons. I don’t refurbish them, so you’d better know how.”

Kai sighs, nudging Junichi a little with a fist. “Relax, dude, we can talk about that later. Also, stop calling me that.”

Your eyes flicker to the right, where another man stood, who you assume was Junichi’s friend and this Verve Films director’s visual effects specialist. He’s similar in stature to Kai, with that casual artist look, and he has a scuffle of facial hair littering his jaw in less of an intentional fashion but rather a five-o-clock shadow fashion. You vaguely register the scent of weed, familiar to the one that lingers in the photo lab on campus after class hours. He reaches his hand out to you first.

“Hi, I’m Ren. I work in visual effects for director Akira Ko at Verve.”

Your eyes widen as you shake his hand.  “That’s amazing. I’ve studied a lot of his contemporary works, I’d love to learn more about his process.”

Ren lets a fast exhale out through his nose. “Yeah, you’ll learn a lot under him.” He pauses to shove his hands into the pockets of his jacket. “Most of his assistants always do.”

“We’ve been waiting for too damn long,” Kai interjects before you could ask any questions about the assistant position, and he glances at his watch, “and there’s still a lot of people ahead of us.”

You glance around to the small groups of people gathered in front of this bar on a lively Friday night, eyes jumping from one area to the next, until a familiar silhouette catches your eye.

You see Gojo standing with Nanami and Choso a few strides away, near the lamppost. He’s mostly turned away from you, Nanami nudging his arm annoyed at something he said, and the sound of his laughter in the air makes your heart feel like it’s at stray. Like that was where you were supposed to be right now, not here.

You watch him from the distance as he sighs, shrugging his shoulders up and down slightly before crossing his arms when Choso gestures towards the entrance of the bar, and so he looks in that direction too. He’s frowning slightly and he brushes some of the hair fallen over his forehead away from his eyes, in that boyish way that makes your heart skip a beat, and you know he’s just doing it to see a little bit better, but it makes you want to cry. 

Geto walks up to them and rejoins their little circle, and holds his phone up in the air, and then there’s the melody of their voices bouncing off one another’s again. Geto rests his elbow up onto Gojo’s shoulder, leaning in a bit closer to tell him something, and when Gojo hears it, you see his entire body tense before his wide eyes are searching his surroundings, until those eyes land on you.

Your breath catches, and you hold his eye contact for only a moment before you look away, because it almost felt like too much to bear.

“What’s that folder in your hand?” Ren asks you, and you turn completely to face him so you can’t see Gojo in your periphery at all anymore.

“I just brought some of my work, for your—er, I guess Mr. Ko’s—reference if he’d like to see it after today’s…interview,” you say. “There’s a flashdrive, too.”

Ren has an amused look on his face and he shoves Kai’s shoulder with his palm. “Dude, you didn’t tell her?”

Kai shakes his head. “Tell her what?”

“Ohh, I see how it is,” Ren muses.

“What?” Kai asks, starting to sound annoyed.

Ren tips his chin up slightly to study Kai’s face, and then his look of amusement dissipates into one of understanding. “Nothing.”

“Tell me what?” you prod.

“Just that you didn’t really need to bring all of that with you,” he says. “Sorry for the trouble.”

You shake your head. “It’s fine, but if you could still give it to him—”

“I’m surprised Kai suggested someone when I asked if he knew anyone,” Junichi jumps in, “I’m used to him grumbling on and on about how shit the work is in filmmaking. Would’ve thought he’d convinced you to look the other way by now.”

You blink at the gruff man, then look at Kai, and he’s just staring down at the dirt of his shoes. “Well, we had a conversation about it. But I’m pretty set on what I want to do,” you say.

Kai lets out a scoff. “Yeah, I don’t really know how else to warn you about the shit show you’re in for, but if you want to be in debt to grad school for the next couple decades of your life, then it’s up to you.”

“Hey, jackass, try to be a bit nicer,” Ren speaks up. “She’s got some goals. Big fuckin’ deal.” He turns to you. “Although, he’s got a point sweetheart, school’s not going to get you anywhere in this industry.”

You frown. “A lot of directors I look up to went through graduate schooling. Most, I would say. I don’t understand where this rhetoric is coming from.”

“It’s coming from real people with real experience,” Ren says, and you dislike the way he takes a step closer to you to reiterate his point, “honestly, you should save yourself some time and give up on applying. It’s not worth it.”

“I’ve already put my application together,” you say, brow furrowing slightly, “I’ve asked professors for my references, spent the past four years working on my profile—” 

“But working under a director, I mean really getting to work under one, beats all of that. Which is why you’re here, right?” Ren asks, but it’s not curious, it’s testing.

You feel a sheen of sweat build at your forehead, even in this cold, and you clench your hand into a fist once, twice, thrice. You’re breathing fast, and the three sets of eyes that are staring so scrutinizingly into your soul right now have you faltering, like if they took another step forward, tried to intrude what you thought you knew one more time, you’d fall backwards over the cliff.

Suddenly, a hand wraps around your upper arm, and when you turn your head to the left, you see Gojo standing there.

“Hey,” he says to you, sparing one single sidewards glare towards Kai, who immediately averts the eye contact, before Gojo’s eyes are on you again, “can I talk to you for a second?”

You look at the three men in your circle, who suddenly adopt skittish body postures, and Gojo doesn’t really wait longer than a few seconds before he’s pulling you away from them over towards the edge of the curb towards the street.

“What?” you ask once he lets go of your arm.

“What are you doing here with those guys?” he asks.

“I’m—…why does it matter to you?” you ask.

“It matters to me because of the fucking absurd conversation I just overheard,” he says, “now answer me.”

His tone annoys you, and you cross your arms. “Are you eavesdropping?”

“I’m going to ask you one more time,” he says, taking a step forward to you, “who are those guys, and why are you here with them?”

You blink at him, furrowed brows relaxing slightly as you drop your crossed arms to your side, and you stare straight ahead at the blankness of the white t-shirt he’s wearing, as your mind runs blank to his question. Why were you here with them? Was it because you had no other plans? Was it because the opportunity sounded too good to be true, and you just had to see for yourself? Was it because you’ve been unable to sleep at night from all the stress, the financial worries, the rejection, and you just want to finally feel like you’ve done one good thing for yourself? To feel like you’re at least making one step in the right direction, no matter the cost?

“I’m here for a job interview,” you say to him. Your tone is flat, and you feel numb.

“A job interview?” he asks, with just about as much incredulity you would’ve expected to hear from him at that answer, “At a bar? How does that make any sense?”

“It…” you start, “sounded fine.”

“It sounds shady as fuck.”

“This doesn’t concern you, okay? I’m—…I’m just trying to make my goals work for me, Satoru, and I really don’t expect you to understand.”

“Why wouldn’t I understand?” he asks. There’s confusion in his voice, and maybe even a little bit of hurt.

“Because you can’t even understand how unfair and painful it is for me that you keep—” you have to purse your lips together briefly to fight back the knot in your throat, “…that you keep interfering with my life everywhere I go.”

His expression softens, and he silently stands in front of you for a moment. His eyes dart across your face, and then he reaches out to grab your hand. “Listen, if you still want to get drinks tonight, then just get drinks with us. But don’t hang out with those guys. They’re bad news, especially the dude with the flannel, and I don’t think you’re in a good place right now to see that.”

Your eyes see white fury at that, and you all but snap. Because the irony of this whole situation, is that you’re not in a good place right now because of him. Because of all the pain that he’s put you through, for promising to stay away but then always being near, for saying he doesn’t want you but then acting like he does. 

“You know what I think, Satoru?” you ask through gritted teeth, yanking your hand from his grasp.

He’s looking at you, studying. “What?”

You take a step forward, threateningly, and he takes a step back so that he steps off the curb and onto the road, and you’re at eye-level with him now. “I think that you’re jealous,” you say, eyes glaring daggers into his.

He blinks at you, almost dumbfounded for a moment before he says “what?”

“You’re just fucking jealous that I seem to be moving on after you rejected me, because for some weird reason, you think it’s okay to not want me, and yet not want me to be with anyone else,” you say, practically hissing the words. “You don’t like seeing me with any guys other than you? You don’t want to believe me when I say that I’m over you? You’re not sorry for kissing me? Even after knowing,” you take a pause to breathe, because you feel like you can’t, “even after knowing that I like you,” eyes blinking fast because you don’t want him to see you cry right now, “you know that I like you so fucking much, and that it’s hurtful, and that it’s wrong— and even after all of that, you act the same, and still won’t promise me any commitment of your own.”

He’s looking down at you with an expression you can’t read, but you’ve lost all interest in trying to understand it anymore.

“You don’t want me hanging out with them?” you repeat after him, “I’m not listening to that. Because it’s possessive. And it’s wrong.”

At the mention of them, Gojo clenches his jaw. “That has nothing to do with you and me, right now. What they’re trying to convince you of doesn’t make any sense, and it won’t help you achieve your dreams either, y/n.”

“You don’t know anything about my dreams, Satoru,” you say, just to hurt him. But you think about the sincere expression on his face the first time you met him when you told him that you wanted his help with your assignment. You think about the playful nudge of his elbow that night he stayed with you on the curb, and told you that you just had to try to put yourself out there, because you couldn’t accomplish anything without facing your fears. You think about how he’s always the first to like every single one of the slideshows you post of your pictures on Instagram. You think about the adoration in his eyes, reflected off the moonlight through the hotel window, when you told him about a little cottage on the countryside, one you’ve always wanted, and those eyes told you that he was really rooting for you. “You don’t know. Because you—” there’s an echo of words in your head. Someone else’s words, not yours, “Because you’re a college athlete. And—” you let out an exhale, “and you don’t pay tuition.”

His brow furrows. There’s a beat of silence as his confusion settles in. “What?”

“You were born blessed with talent, and you’re popular, and people adore you, and you don’t have to worry about internships, or jumping from job to job just to make something of yourself,” you say, picturing your life in your head along with all the strife, “or about all of the sinking debt, and the worry, and the— and the car repair bills,” you say, almost with a scoff, eyes sheening with tears, like you’re losing your mind, “all of the fucking car repair bills.” Your chest is heaving as you shake your head. “Because you’re set for life as long as you kick a fucking ball.” 

His lips purse together, like he can tell there’s more on your tongue to say, more hurtful words, and he wants to hear you say them. And so you do.

“You’ve never had to suffer or worry about a single thing in your life. So don’t pretend like you understand what I’m trying to do here tonight,” you say, inflection signing off on the end, to tell him that you’re done. 

He stands in front of you, practically motionless except for the slow movement of his chest as he breathes. His expression, tense and hurt, softens slowly, and you see him digging his nails into the skin of his palms through fidgeting clenched fists at his sides. And then he relaxes them, too.

“Does that make you feel better?” he asks.

His question confuses you, and for some reason, regret washes over you. “What?”

“Does thinking of me that way—…does it make you feel better about all of this? Between us?”

You’re breathing fast, eyebrows pinching upwards to look at him, and the defeated expression on his face makes your heart ache. He’s waiting for an answer, and so you give him one. “Yes.”

He glances down at the ground for a moment, then at your collarbone, before meeting your gaze again. “I’m sorry. For everything. And I—” the words catch in his throat briefly, “I’ll try to leave you alone tonight.”

His use of the word try doesn’t escape you, but you give him a furtive nod, and he studies your face for a few moments before he steps back up onto the curb and walks past you. You watch him walk all the way, no longer with that confidence or conviction you’re so used to seeing in him, as he steps back into his circle, to Geto’s side. Geto gives a small glance over his shoulder to look at you with discerning eyes before looking at Gojo again, and then he’s turned away from you. 

Heavy feet drag you back to Kai, Ren, and Junichi, and you feel feverish. They mention something about the table being ready, and you nod. The bar is rustic, with more tables than barspace, and the four of you are seated and then presented with a small food menu. You’re seated next to Kai, Ren is right across from you, and Junichi is to his right. You watch a waitress usher Nanami, Choso, Geto and Gojo to one of the tables as well, two away from yours, and you forcefully blur your vision so you don’t have to catch sight of the expression on Gojo’s face.

“So,” Ren speaks up as his eyes peruse the food menu and Junichi waves the waitress over to order a round of sake, “tell me more about your experience, sweetheart.”

You blink at him, eyes feeling heavy, heart feeling heavy. “I’d prefer it if you called me by my name.”

Ren lets out a coo, and you briefly glance at Kai who’s shaking his head with a sigh. “My bad, y/n. Your experience?”

Your hands play with the folder sitting in your lap. “I started writing screenplays for small-scale directors when I was a freshman, and was greenlit on a couple into my sophomore year. One of the films I worked on, I had directing credits for, and it was nominated for best screenplay at Etoile Film Festival the year following.”

Ren swallows slightly, shifting in his chair and pushing his shoulders back, like he’s trying to establish himself now. Kai is clenching a fist on the surface of the table.

Ren clears his throat before speaking again. “Wow, okay, so you’ve actually got some serious shit going on.” His voice is a faux octave deeper. “What do you know about being a good assistant? Ever worked in customer service? Secretary?”

“Oh, I mean I have worked in customer service, but I wasn’t done sharing about my experience—” you try to say but Junichi cuts you off.

“First round’s on me,” he declares, “for bringing her out here.” He tips his chin to you and then sends Kai a glance.

A waitress brings by a bottle of sake, and Junichi begins pouring drinks into the glasses, then slides them across the table. Kai gives Ren a pointed look. 

“Don’t get too wasted,” Kai says to him as he brings his glass to his lips, “you start running that mouth of yours a little too much when you do.”

Ren grins at him and immediately knocks down the glass Junichi barely finished pouring from him in one go, and the gruff man beside him is grumbling. “Whatever you say.”

Something had been bothering you since you met the three of them. “Wait,” you say, pointing between Kai and Ren, “do you two know each other already? Because,” you turn to look at Kai, “on the phone earlier, you sounded like you didn’t.”

Kai’s eyebrows raise in surprise, as though he’s discovered you have some skill for foresight. You glance at Ren, and he gives Kai a puzzled look.

“Uh, yeah. I’ve known Kai for years,” he says, “we go way back. We went to highschool together.”

Kai shifts a little in his chair. “Sorry. Probably forgot to mention it.”

You glance down at the glass of sake in front of you, and the way it twinkles under the lighting of the bar. You slowly bring it to your mouth, taking a small sip, and the way it coats your tongue is less than pleasing. 

“Can you tell me more about the assistant position?” you ask Ren, who’s emptied out the bottle of sake and waving someone over to order more. He already has a slightly flush to his face.

“Yeah, yeah, will do,” he says, “but first, let me tell you about what I do in visuals.”

Another round of sake is dropped by, and then another, followed by another, as Ren continues to ramble on and on about what he does for work, and how it’s entirely integral to the final piece of the film, although you’ve never really had a terrible level of appreciation for visual effects in short-film craft, since it’s hardly much work. But you wouldn’t say that, you just continue to nurse your one glass of sake as the three men surrounding you knock back more and more, and there’s slurs to their speeches now.

“Sooo, I’m so sorry, sweetheart—I mean y/n, for cuttin’ you off earlier,” he says, “but what was that experience you wanted to talk to me about?” Ren asks from across the table, and his eyes are all traveling over you.

“I…” you start, “well, I started to work with one of my professors last year, she’s a two-time Cannes Film Festival winner, and she let me under her wing for one of her projects last year.”

“Who is she? Oh wait, nevermind, probably wouldn’t have heard of her anyways,” Ren says, but when you fail to laugh, he waves his hand in the air. “Joking, joking. What’s her name?”

“Naoko. Naoko Ogigami.”

“Oh shit. I have heard of her,” Ren says, followed by a shallow hiccup. Junichi shrugs his shoulders, and when you look at Kai, he’s nodding slowly and toying with the rim of his glass with a finger.

“Yes. Well, anyways—” you start up again, before Kai sets his glass of sake down particularly loud.

“This is all bullshit. Really. I told you, filmmaking is a waste of time. Just focus on your photography, and your freelance or whatnot,” Kai says, grit to his jaw, face looking red with possibly something other than just a tipsiness. 

Ren lets out a laugh. “Fuckin’ Kai. What a pessimist. Don’t listen to him, sweetheart,” he says, slurred, and you furrow your brow at him with a glare, “sorry. Don’t listen to him. Trust me, you’ll learn a lot under Mr. Ko. He’s a suuuper nice guy.”

“What’s the compensation?” you ask. It’s a brazen question, one you’d never ask so soon in a formal interview process, but this table was hardly anything formal.

“Real good. Mmm I think like…5200 yen an hour, and then also, you get your foot in the door.”

“Oh,” you sit up a little in your chair. It was higher than most entry-level anything for undergraduates or even new grads. 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” he drawls when he sees you’re more interested. “Good stuff. Kai used to pick these kinds of jobs up, too, back in his college days. I remember. Although, he’s hardly Mr. Ko’s type, so I doubt he’d be any good for this one.”

Your head snaps to Ren again at his words, face tensing. 

“Tell her about what a job like this—hic—entails,” Ren says as he extends his glass out for Junichi to pour him another.

Kai glances at Ren once, and you watch him grind his teeth for a moment, and then there’s a hint of a smirk on his face.

“Oh. Y’know, clerical work. Stuff like printing scripts out,” Kai starts, Junichi filling up his glass and then he raises it into the air to watch the liquid swish around, “grabbing him coffee. Making sure his trailer is stocked.”

“Blowing him in said trailer,” Ren says. It’s something quiet, under his breath with a small laugh, where you could barely hear it across the table. But you heard it nonetheless. And your heart sinks to the core of the earth.

“Excuse me?” you say. The benefit of doubt sitting on your shoulder, watching in disbelief as well.

“He’s joking,” Kai says, quickly, “runnin’ his mouth.”

“Oh fuck off, Kai,” Ren says, throwing his hands up in the air, “don’t act like that’s not why you brought her here.”

Your head slowly turns to Kai, who can’t meet your gaze. Your eyes flicker to Junichi, who looks amused. 

Ren leans over the table, elbows resting on top, to look you straight in the eyes. He’s got a sleazy smile, and you can smell the alcohol on his breath, and he dips his tone down low enough to where you can hardly hear it over the sounds surrounding you in the bar. “That’s how you’ll make it in this industry, sweetheart. Whether you like it or not, you’ll be working under those directors until you make it.”

You stand up so fast that your chair falls behind you, hand raised in the air, and you swiftly slap the man across from you so hard across the cheek that it leaves his skin even more red than the flush from before, and your palm is stinging. 

There’s gasps all around the bar, hushed voices, eyes on you, but you don’t care. There’s not a single thing in the world you care more about right now than the anger swelled in your chest.

Ren holds his cheek, surprised, blinking like a pathetic animal. He almost looks like he’s about to cry, and you let out a scoff at the sight.

You turn to face Kai, whose eyes are wide and he’s staring up at you. Your fists are clenched at your side.

“Is this why you brought me here tonight?” you ask. Your voice is trembling, anxiety at the wake, the white anger spotting your vision. But there’s also pain. So much pain, and you’re just so fed up with all of it. “Because your belittling, condescending words weren’t enough to tear my hopes apart, so you had to humiliate me in front of your friends instead?”

Kai holds his hand up. “Woah, Canon, relax. He was just joking—…” Kai glances at Ren, who’s still holding his cheek and biting down on his lip, and then his gaze hardens. “Y’know what? It’s about fucking time you get this wake-up call, y/n. I’ve been trying to do the nice thing to steer you in the right direction, and the least you could—”

“Steer me in the right fucking direction?!” you’re yelling now, registering the way your voice echoes in the bar. “You know what I think this is all about, Kai?” You grit your teeth, “You’re a sick, stupid, sexist fuck who didn’t have the balls to go after what he wanted. So miserably pathetic that you’ve got no other fucking business than to pull people down to your level.”

Kai pinches his eyebrows together, hand on the table clenching into a fist. 

You lean down closer, an exasperated scoff leaving your lips. “Why don’t you go be his assistant instead? Since I’m sure you’re good at taking it up the ass.”

Kai’s eyes twitch, “you fucking—”

You grab his glass off the table and throw the alcohol into his face, eliciting another round of noises around the bar, and his mouth falls agape in shock before he gets up out of his chair, hand reaching out to grab for you. You close your eyes shut with a flinch to expect pain. Any sort of pain. But you don’t feel anything at all.

When you open your eyes, you see Gojo standing to your left, veins of his arm tense with the tight grip he has on Kai’s forearm, and you can see he’s practically shaking with rage. He steps in front of you, guarding, and you can’t see the expression on his face, but the fear in Kai’s eyes is enough to say it all.

“That’s enough,” he says, the clench of his jaw evident through the strain in his voice, “try to put your hands on her again, and I’ll split your fucking face in half.”

You can see Kai’s breathing pick up from where you’re peering over Gojo’s shoulder, and then Gojo shoves him backwards right as Choso kicks the fallen chair to his feet so he trips over it backwards then hits the ground with a loud and indignant thud.

Gojo’s hovering over Kai, his hands shoved in his pockets as he glares down at him, while Geto and Nanami put space between you and the other two men at your table. You feel a searing flush to your cheeks. You’re breathing fast, the peering eyes all around you are searing, looking at you with surprise, confusion, shock, and pity. Your mind is racing, and you wonder what your parents would think of all this. What your friends would think of all of this. What the people who support you would think of the fucked up situation you’ve found yourself in, and the humiliation courses so deep through your veins that you just want to run away and hide. The ground could swallow you whole right now, and it still wouldn’t be enough.

You take one step back, then another, before you turn on your heel to rush out the door into the night, and you barely register that it’s raining. You can feel your heart thumping fast in your chest and in your head, that familiar knot in your throat twisting tight as you walk fast down the street and ignore Gojo’s call of your name from behind you.

You don’t want to see anyone right now. You don’t want to be seen by anyone right now. Especially Gojo, of all people, because he was right about everything, and the fact that you had shut him down about it, and the way that you had shut him down about it makes your head numb and your breathing pick up fast.

“y/n,” you hear him call out from behind you, his pace is getting faster and so you’re resorting to longer strides as well, puddles of water splashing under your feet with every step, “just wait—”

“I’m seriously,” you start, and the tears begin to fall, “I’m seriously so, so, so, so, so fucking embarassed right now,” you gasp out the words with no air left in your lungs to breathe as you continue to run away from him, “so please, just leave me alone.”

You can picture it all in your head. Something like I told you so from his lips, because after what you’ve been put through tonight, you just want to assume the worst in people.

But just as you round the corner into an alley, feeling lost with the sight of a dead end, you feel a hand wrap around your arm and then you’re being pulled into an embrace.

Your eyes are blinking with tears streaming, your face buried in a chest that is warm, with a heart beating so fast that it’s keeping time with your own, and the fragrance that surrounds you is so painfully him that it makes you sob even more.

Strong hands wrap around you, pulling you closer, and Gojo rests his chin at the top of your head. “I’m sorry,” he says softly, and you can feel the rumble of his voice, “I just needed to stop you from running.”

Your arms are weakly raised, an outline over his torso but not yet grabbing on, until you hesitantly do. And when you hold onto him, it’s so tight and strong, and you realize that after everything between the two of you, it’s the first time you’ve been wrapped in his arms.

“I feel so stupid,” you start, already hating the words because you want to be stronger right now, but you can’t.

“You’re not stupid,” he quickly corrects you, “those guys are fucking insecure losers. You’re just trying your best. You always have, for as long as I’ve known you, and it’s something you should be proud of yourself for.”

You don’t know what to say to him, you just cling to the damp fabric of his shirt in the rain.  

“Things are going to work out for you, no matter what, because I know you’ve got what it takes and you’re willing to work hard for it,” he says, his chin nuzzling so you’re tucked into him even further, “and if things don’t work out, that’s okay, you’re strong and you’ll always get back up. And I want to be there to help you through everything.”

You pull your face from his chest to stare up at him, droplets of rain falling to your face and making you flinch occasionally. “I’m confused.”

His hand comes up to cup your face, swiping at a tear on your cheek, or maybe it was rain. “I thought that—” he starts, his thumb briefly running over the small cut still healing on your cheek, his brow furrowing, “I thought that I’d be okay with watching your life from afar, through cropped pictures on a screen,” he says, a chill running through you, “but I can’t. It’s killing me. And I’m really sorry that it took me this long to tell you this, but I like you so much and I really want to be with you.”

Your eyes widen at his words, and you don’t know how to feel. You push your face into his chest again. His thumb runs circles at your side through the dampness of your shirt.

“There are a lot of reasons I didn’t feel like I could date you, or show up for you,” he says, “but the pain of not getting to be with you, of not getting to hold you, and just share my life with you is way worse than whatever reasons I kept trying to convince myself of.”

You nod slowly, because there was a part of you deep inside that knew that all along. 

His grip on you relaxes slightly and you take that as a request from him for you to look up at him, so you do. “I know I’ve put you through a lot of pain, and I’m really not a perfect person, but if there’s room in your heart to forgive me, I promise you that I’ll do everything I can to make you feel happy and cared for.”

Your eyes study his face for sincerity. They’re words you’ve been wanting to hear, words you could’ve pictured in your head, but the adoration in his eyes makes you realize you never could’ve imagined the true sweetness of those words when they’re said from him.

You press your cheek to his chest again. You’re not crying anymore. “I’m sorry for what I said to you earlier. About kicking a soccer ball, and having it easy,” you bite down on your lip, because now there’s tears in your eyes again, “I didn’t mean it.” You sniffle a little, “I know you work hard. And it was a really mean thing to say.”

He sighs, holding you flush to himself. His cheek presses against the top of your head. “That’s okay, you don’t have to apologize for that.”

“But I do.”

There was no grudge at all. There was nothing withdrawn from you, nothing taken away as punishment. He just held onto you, exactly as you are, and you felt so safe in every second you spent in his arms.

You look up at him again. His hair is damp, strands clinging to his face in all the places they usually fall over, droplets of rain falling from his fringe onto your face and he does everything he can to wipe them away. “It’s too late,” you tell him, and he immediately knows what you’re referring to.

He just holds you closer. “I know.”

“I don’t have feelings for you anymore,” you say through a sniffle.

He knows you’re lying, and that you say it just out of spite, but he holds your head to his chest. “I know.”

“You’ll have to beg and grovel, and even then, I might not like you ever again,” you say, gripping so tightly onto his shirt for purchase, your voice sounding muffled as you breathe in the scent of him. “That’s your punishment.”

He presses a kiss to the top of your head. A firm press of his lips, lasting as he takes a few deep breaths. And then he kisses the same spot again, staying still in that position as he repeats himself.

“I know.”

--

a/n. phewww thank you for reading, i swear, this chapter felt like a goddamn war to write. my emotions were all over the damn place, i think cause i wrote from a place of bitter experience lol. i dedicate this chap to my lovely friend she’s a film major (she inspired me to create this story) and i srs wouldn’t be able to write kickoff without her 😭💕 dear M♥︎, i thought of you sm while writing this chapter, i can only hope i’ve captured even the slightest bit of the understanding i will always aim to have of you, and that you feel seen. i’m incredibly proud of you, always rooting for you, so often thinking of you, and terribly missing you so much rn (plsssssss visit meee😩💔 ) dedicated w sm love 💕 -bitchasshoe this chapter is also dedicated to anyone who’s going through a hard times n maybe just trying to figure themselves out :”) i am so proud of you, you should be so proud of yourself, there’s still so much to live and learn, and i hope the universe blesses you w everything you’ve ever wanted!! big thank u to my lovely m00t @quinnyundertow she pulled me out of my writers block for this chapter and also beta read a lot of it for me 😭 and by beta read i mean left the funniest fucking comments everywhere and i will forever remember how hard i laughed 🤣 i adore u sm thank you <33 SHES ALSO A WRITER TOO GO CHECK HER OUT on ao3 she is an amazinggg writer there’s only three chapters left for kickoff (i’m gonna cry just thinking ab it :”)) which doesnt sound like a lot but there’s still a lot i’ve got planned 😭 i’m just noticing that i very poorly planned the second half of this series. chapters 1-6 combined have less words than chapters 7-9 combined 😅✨ sooooo i may increase the chapters from 12 to 14 by splitting them up to make it easier on me, or just stick to the plan and come out with long chapters like the last two. idk. i’ll figure it out. thank u to everyone for reading i love you all dearly 😭💕 i’ll see you in the next one!!

➸ you're all caught up!

--

taglist: @who-can-touch-my-boob @therealestpussyeater @lost-resonance @hojoslutoru @foulprincesscycle @luniunia @alekssashka7 @bsdicinindirdim @tsukikourito @getitsatoru @slut-4-gojo @cactisjuice @kissofife @tiredflame132 @cliosunshine @ethereally-lyann @btszn @prince-wyiilder @semra4 @gojosimp26 @drthymby @ninitoru @bbyxxm @fvsm4x @sadmonke @zoinks1010 @bakuhoethotski @horisdope @sykostyles @aquaberrydolphin @colouringfrogssittinginleaves @ri-sa20 @purplehallow11 @mwtsxri @ritsatoru @bxddiebloss @chwesuh-imnida @mo0nforme @viware @still-fking-single @megumisthirdog @gintokhi @karvokr @cierocanteat @imjustaweirdnerd @ronniebird @bloopsstuff @mwtsxri @witchbybirth @tetsuski @fffinskye @gh0ulkz @beabadobeee @mandysfanfics @erencvlt @laviefantasie @sukunamylovexoxo @girlkissersco @itzjuliana @yell0wdreams @1dimas7 @strayedjeno @mo0nforme @yungbloode @sullybrothersmate @oaooaoaoaoa @swagangelllamawolf @banenemilk @inniesblog

(hope i didn't miss anyone thank u all sm!!)

[yeonboy]

HI omg thank u sm for reading the love whisperer and for ur (HILARIOUS) comments they make me so unbelievably happy!! i can't wait to see what u hear of the rest of the chapters 💖

HELLOOOO DEAR WRITER! aaaaa i've really been enjoying it sooo much so far <3333 i'm presently reading the first written part and you're??? so good at this hellO???

i hope the rest of my reblogs will make you happy too, you deserve so many smiles and giggles pls 🥺💓

[ciarlola]

i’m sorry for spamming you with reblogs but your art,,,, it’s beautiful and i love it

Don't be sorry! I am flattered by this, really 💕💕