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#so many people always assume it's hyperbole but it never ever is
nexus-nebulae · 2 years
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stupid fucking broken body
#low health#i haven't had a single second of feeling no pain in my entire memory#i can't do a single thing without hurting#not even laying completely still in bed completely flat and straight#i can't even lay like a goddamn corpse without being in pain what kind of fucking bullshit body is this#i did a symptom assessment and the symptoms list was more than twice as long as my phone screen#and the text was fucking TINY too aha#there isn't a single part of my body that works like it's supposed to and that's not an exaggeration#so many people always assume it's hyperbole but it never ever is#everyone always assumes i hyperbolize and dramaticize and exaggerate and play it up for pity#or whatever other insidious shit they always assume I'm doing#to a point where I'm starting to HAVE to play it up now because nobody will fucking listen#and if the only thing that works is 'im literally fucking dying' then fuck me i guess#they treat me like a boy who cried wolf without ever even bothering to fucking check if i was right#and I'm surrounded by fucking wolves now but everyone's so busy ignoring what i say they can't even see the fucking wolves#i first started getting joint pain when i was FOURTEEN and i have gotten *how many treatments?*#ABSOLUTELY FUCKING ZERO.#i have NEVER received a single fucking DIAGNOSIS much less any FUCKING HELP#and it has been OVER SIX YEARS#and i have been telling my doctors over and over that i am rapidly deteriorating and won't be able to MOVE for much longer#and they WON'T EVEN SET ME UP WITH AN APPOINTMENT WITH THE SPECIALIST CLINIC.#i am so fucking angry and so fucking tired and I'm quite literally reaching my fucking breaking point#i haven't had this bad of a mental state since my ABUSIVE GASLIGHTING TRANSPHOBIC ABLEIST EX#and if THIS is making me revert back to THAT then IT'S FUCKING SEVERE AND I SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN HELP YEARS AGO#i am fully and wholly being genuinely neglected and left to die#and the ONLY person who seems to genuinely give a shit about me is about just as restricted by circumstance and health#so we can barely even help each other even if we want to
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orcboxer · 3 months
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listen 20 years ago i was happy and now i'm not so as far as i'm concerned yeah the world is getting worse
I grew up in a hyperreligious, hyperconservative family and church that was constantly convinced that we were living in The End Times and the future always looked bleak and every new problem was The Worst Things Have Ever Been and we were all miserable all the time. And when you believe without question that Things Are Always Getting Worse, that implies Things Were Better In The Past. And that's like, a cornerstone of right wing ideology. On the big picture, if you can't conceive of a better future, you won't bother trying to make one, and that makes you easier to control.
Now I can't speak to your personal life, of course, and I'll admit my life is better now than it was 20 years ago (I left the church, came out as gay, started treatment for my mental health, all that jazz). But I can tell you that the quality of life of the average human has improved, and things are, overall, largely improving on many different levels globally.
Over the past century, globally speaking, the average lifespan has increased, infant mortality has decreased, poverty has greatly decreased, education has become way more accessible, voter inequality has decreased, water quality has increased, food availability has greatly increased, access to healthcare has increased -- I could go on. You'd actually be really surprised how much better things have gotten. Every person I've "quizzed" on it has greatly underestimated the quantity of statistical improvement. It's like we're all conditioned to assume the worst.
It's easy to fixate on all the problems, and it doesn't help when that's all anyone ever talks about. But that's why it's so important to keep things in perspective. If a headline is like "525 billion tons of pollution is in the ocean" you just see a big number and assume it's bad, but you have no frame of reference for it so you're really just going on vibes. You gotta ask like. How much pollution was there last year? What is being counted as pollution? How did they arrive at this number? What initiatives are being taken to remove pollution? So on and so forth.
We are constantly flooded with hyperbolic doomerism and while there absolutely are very real problems that need urgent action (like climate change), it is also completely unhelpful to anyone for us to burn ourselves out trying to be The Correct Amount Of Upset about all the problems in the world all the time. You can't fix everything, you have limits, but there are things you can help with. Do those things and let yourself feel good about it. And let yourself actually appreciate the work that other people have done to make the world a better place. So many people whose names will never grace history books have paved the way for you to do your thing, and it's a damn shame all that work goes underappreciated by most folks.
Learn to question negative statements. If someone says "The world is getting worse" you should be asking, "By what metric?" And then you should be asking, "How can we improve those numbers?" I swear to god it makes a huge difference for your mental health.
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anneapocalypse · 1 year
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They’re all pretty related, so in case you want to merge or skip some: I’m curious about 9, 20, 21, and 22 for 🔥 choose violence 🔥
For the 🔥choose violence 🔥 ask game!
Disclaimer: provocative name aside, I am not actually trying to be mean here, these are just my opinions offered for Entertainment Purposes™️, and I’m not mad at anyone who has a different opinion.
9. worst part of canon
The lack of forethought about representation when the series began. The first game was like, "Seven skin tints! The dark ones looks Bad in our engine! Your family is white no matter what! Brown people are from Over There somewhere! Asians????" Since then, I think the games have each improved on that situation, with increasingly better character creators, more diverse companions, and a more diverse world generally. But I think that there's still a lot lacking, and part of that is because the first installment laid a pretty weak foundation, so all subsequent canon is having to correct for better representation rather than building on a strong start. A few big things I would love to see in DA:D are a better variety of hair textures and styles, a better variety of Asian features in the CC, and more Asian (coded) characters in the world generally since that's an area where it's really been lacking. (Lighting that doesn't wash out medium skin tones to ghosts wouldn't hurt either 😉 but when it comes to video game lighting I assume that we'll just be trading one problem for another. I look forward to experiencing a New Problem.)
20. part of canon you found tedious or boring
Inquisition's Too Many Collectibles. I don't mind collectibles, especially when there's an actual reward for collecting them, but Inquisition just has too many. Was it really necessary for us to discover landmarks and regions? Like, could those not have been the same thing? It's fun to treasure hunt and everything but did we need to hunt for astrariums and shards and mosaic tiles and bottles? None of those things are bad on their own, but there's such a thing as Too Much, and I think Inquisition crosses that line somewhere.
21. part of canon you think is overhyped
Marrying Alistair to become Queen! Like, that's fine if that's the ending you want. Me, I've romanced Alistair multiple times and I've never felt like becoming Queen Cousland was like, the Ultimate Ending to that story. My first ever Warden, Jolene, was a Cousland who romanced Alistair, and while I'd watched Mr. Apocalypse play parts of the game, I was unspoiled for the romance, so I wasn't gunning for any particular ending, and because Alistair clearly didn't want to be king and because he seemed so uncertain of what would happen to their relationship (despite her being a perfectly valid candidate for queen), Jo ended up deciding to let Anora keep the throne and ride off into the sunset with Alistair. I wanted a happy ending for that first run and to me, that seemed the happiest for both of them.
Since then I've also done a tragic Alistair romance with an Aeducan, who starts out a real asshole and has kind of a redemption arc as a Warden, culminating in her giving Alistair the throne because she believes it's his destiny, and sacrificing herself to kill the archdemon because she knows she can never be his queen. I loved that one too! It was so juicy.
I'm not opposed to Queen Cousland or anything, I just remember a time when it was so venerated as the ending for Origins. Really, I just don't think of any outcome in an RPG that way. What I enjoy is exploring all the possibilities.
22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores
Once again, consider "everyone" to be a bit hyperbolic, but I am really, really interested in the politics of the setting, something I think maybe a lot of fans consider to be boring or "not that deep." 😂 Dragon Age does not always handle its power and oppression narratives perfectly, for sure, but I also think a lot of the worldbuilding shows a level of understanding of structural power that it maybe doesn't always get credit for. When a group is marginalized in this setting we can identify actual systemic barriers to social advancement for that group, not just "people being mean" on an individual level like you sometimes see in lazier narratives. Orlais isn't just fancier and snootier than Ferelden; it actually has more barriers to upward mobility in place! Society is more stratified, and power is more concentrated, even though both nations are monarchies.
I love the fantasy politics--of people in day to day life, of factions, of nations, of religion. I love it because, at its best, Dragon Age does have some interesting things to say about the nature of power. It's easy to say "Chantry bad" or "nobility bad," but to me it's much more interesting to explore why these institutions function the way they do, the ways in which they concentrate power, and the means they employ to keep it. And controversial statement, maybe, but you can't effectively explore the politics of revolution and social change without understanding the structures you're trying to change. Sera's right about one thing: it's not as simple as just lopping off the top.
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on-a-lucky-tide · 2 years
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I've been trying to put this into words since you put If These Scars Could Speak back up. First off, thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Scars is one of, if not the, fic that has stuck with me the most. I must have read it a dozen times before you took it down. It was actually a tab that I kept open on some of my harder training exercises.
(A brief aside, because I'm afraid I cannot always make words work as I intend them to. I am in no way, shape, or form trying to guilt you, or hold any animosity. You did what I assume was best for your mental health, and I respect that immensely. If anything, it was my fault for not saving myself a copy. Please don't take anything that I am saying in a negative way.)
The first time I read Scars, I was blown away. The story is amazing, the characters have so much depth, I am a sucker for your Lambert/Aiden, yes, but it was Geralt who held me captive and kept bringing me back. Because my dear - you wrote me.
From the time I began to suspect I was neurodivergent way back in secondary school, I ruthlessly suppressed it (often to my own detriment). Because I had known from an even younger age that I wanted to join the military, and now, despite being damn good at my job and not once having an issue, I would be medically discharged if I ever ended up in front of a psychologist. (Even now, it puts my heart pounding to write this, but I told myself that since you had the strength to put it back up, I would find the strength write this.) The military has yet to realize that these things exist on a spectrum, and just because there are some people who absolutely should not be allowed to serve, there are just as many who can take their divergence and make it work for them, as your Geralt does.
Here was a character who thrived in the military and was not a walking stereotype (and do you know, I did something similar, finding myself a small unit where I'd only have to handle a dozen or so people). This is the kind of representation I never imagined finding, and to stumble upon it…I don't have the words to adequately express what your story means to me. Thank you for the care you took with this story, for the time and heart and love you poured into it (and your portrayal of PTSD…God, how many of my own brothers I saw in them). I will never stop being grateful that you wrote this. For whatever people said to you, please know that there is at least one person out there whose life was changed absolutely for the better through your words. This is so far beyond a comfort fic - this is what I read when I need to feel like I am not alone in this. Thank you, thank you.
Non, I read the start of this ask and ran away for a bit, but then I took a deep breath and read it properly.
When I tell you I cried, I'm not being hyperbolic. I've had... let's say an interesting couple of months, and it's the small things getting me through. But this is a big thing. It's overwhelming. I am so humbled.
Thank you for letting me know. Really. The story is so precious to me. There are parts of me in every character, parts of the people I know, all woven in with the characters I love. I needed hope when I wrote that story, even with all its clunky bits, so the fact that others connect with it too? I don't have words to express how that makes me feel.
I am always baffled by people's kindness, but I am so, so grateful for it.
I hope you have family and friends that love you like Geralt's does. You deserve the biggest hug and the fluffiest dressing gown to eat chocolate in. Much love, Non.
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nickgerlich · 11 months
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Read The Label
It is no secret that Americans face an obesity problem. While the stats vary from year to year, the essence is this: 39.6% of US Adults are obese, 31.6% are overweight, and 7.7% are severely obese. That means only 21.1% of us are not obese or—gasp—underweight. That’s hardly a symbol of American prosperity.
Obesity leads to myriad health problems, from diabetes to heart disease, joint problems, and more. It’s a train wreck waiting to happen. As a nation, many of our health problems are things we can control.
And yet we’re not exactly doing anything about it, at least not in consumer land. It’s easy to blame our busy lives not allowing enough time for exercise, but that’s a pretty lame excuse. We can always exercise, even if it is just chair yoga. The problem runs deeper, from consumption of fatty, sugar-laden processed foods, to diets centered on too much of meats, dairy, and eggs and not enough fruits and vegetables, and a sedentary lifestyle that finds us indoors interacting with some kind of screen.
It’s not like the government didn’t recognize this. In 1990, the NLEA (Nutrition Labeling and Education Act) was passed, and in 1994, the first Nutrition Facts label appeared on consumer packaged foods. It has evolved through the years such that it is packed with relevant information. Even the portion size is standardized, thanks to governmental oversight, and is based on the RACC—Reference Amounts Customarily Consumed.
Come on, isn’t a standard serving size of Oreos the whole package? Some people customarily do just that.
In 2018, restaurant chains with 20 or more units had to start posting calorie contents of menu items. Smaller chains and one-of-a-kinds were exempt, because restaurateurs had to go to great expense to have each and every entree analyzed in a lab. That bloomin’ onion at Outback Steakhouse clocks in at 1660 calories. That’s insane for an appetizer.
But evidence suggests that people still don’t consume the information. A study by the School of Public Health at the University of Minnesota showed that people check the information infrequently, if at all. All that ink, going to waste.
Marketers, though, in spite of blind eyes and deaf ears among consumers, still love to run and play with marketing words that complement the government mandatories. They must assume that shoppers are more prone to reading the front of the package, and not the back.
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Words and phrases like “organic,” “non-GMO,” “all natural,” “plant-based,” and the like are now commonplace, and they supposedly help guide consumer purchase. The USDA regulates some of these, but not all. Of those regulated, there are exacting requirements to make the claim of being organic or other such traits. Basically, the USDA has created benchmarks. But not all words and phrases are regulated.
In many regards, it is like the wild, wild west when it comes to food claims, and the notion of caveat emptor has never been more true. You’re on your own, buddy. Become an educated consumer. You eat at your own peril.
All of this coming at a time when a major class action lawsuit against Wendy’s and McDonald’s has been dismissed. The judged ruled that photographic puffery of menu items is just part of the marketing hyperbole. It’s on you, not them.
I am one of the few who does read labels carefully. The ongoing evolution of the Nutrition Facts label makes it easier than ever to identify the source(s) of a food’s bad traits, as well as bold-faced ingredients (14 different ones!) that are red flags based on a person’s allergies or food choices. And if you’re wondering whether a shopper could use the same level of scrutiny online as in the store, the answer is yes. I checked my most recent Walmart+ purchases, and found each item in my history has both the Nutrition Facts and Ingredients shown.
So what do we make of this? It’s a mess, there’s a ton of information, and from the looks of things, most people are ignoring it. In a nutshell, they’re just not having any of this health and wellness the federal government would like to foster, even if it is a public good. Let’s face it, a sick population costs money to keep on life support, but it seems that few care.
And here we are, four out of five overweight to some extent. Eating a WFPB (Whole Food, Plant-Based) -diet is tough, but it works if care is taken to get the right amounts of nutrients. It is the extreme, though. But man is it inconvenient, not to mention difficult to do in public. You have to take the time to know your foods, not to mention mustering up the resolve to forsake the comfort foods our culture promotes so heavily.
It’s a tangled mess. The government thinks it is important, but in the end, it all boils down to personal responsibility. You can bring a person to organic tofu, but you can’t make them eat it. And the marketers always love an opportunity to spin doctor anything. I once found a frozen grocery item that had the familiar (and one may now say over-used) phrase “plant-based” on the label. Turned out it was only one of the ingredients making that claim; the item in totality was hardly vegan, if that was your goal.
I’m OK with the personal responsibility. Eat what you like, whatever it is. But please also figure out a way to squeeze in a fitness regime. At the end of the day, and aside from any genetic predispositions, it boils down to what we put in, and what we put out. And please start reading those labels. You don’t have to be a food nutritionist to understand them, although I’m sure it helps.
In an organic kind of way, of course.
Dr “Who Can Eat Just One?” Gerlich
Audio Blog
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troglobite · 29 days
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alskjdf
just had a thought
in general i've only ever been rewarded socially for being biting and "mean" in order to be funny.
and that got to be too much and i felt TOO mean so i started pulling back
(i still do it if the person's not there and it's clearly a hyperbolic joke, bc it's still funny--and i'm careful to be targeting specific shitty things and not awful bigoted stereotypes, etc. like i might be comically mean but i'm not an asshole)
however what this has meant in practice is oddly like.
most people don't accept or reward or honor my sincerity? which is really frustrating.
and additionally, ppl seem to think that. if they're not sure of the tone or intention of something i said, they default to "beck is being condescending and mean to me" and like. what the fuck? why?
and i'm wondering if it has to do w ppl demanding and rewarding meanness from me, and then they just assume That's How I Am and it's like--i'm not?
the humor is the key part there. not the meanness. i've pulled back on the meanness. i say more NICE things abt my friends than i do mean things abt other ppl. and yet they still think i'm being shitty. idk.
brought to you by me remembering one time in my poetry class in grad school i wrote a scathing parody/critique/satire of a billy collins poem that i vehemently disagreed with and thought was incredibly pretentious
and everyone loved it. and then the (v accomplished and intelligent and capable and funny and many other great words) poetry prof later told me abt a separate poem i had written--one that was way too long, didn't have a solid poetic identity yet, and was abt my struggle w my relationship w my dad, my queerness/gender, and my mexican-american family and identity--that i should. write a similar parody/satire/critique poem. about my original draft.
and idk if he meant it that way or not but like--he basically told me to be scathingly biting and mean to myself about my own difficulties. and to make light of the things i was worried abt. bc that's what my parody/satire poem did.
like i wrote that mean poem because i hate billy collins' poem and thought he was WRONG. and we were SUPPOSED to write a poem in response to another one. and like. idk use literary devices in some particular way? idr.
and so in asking me to write a similar poem abt my very real and sensitive struggle w my identity and lived experience and feeling alienated in multiple directions, i was told to make light of and belittle that shit.
i've never known what to make of it, but remembering that is what sent me down this random thought spiral just now.
i have capacity for meanness. bc i was trained to have it as a defense mechanism growing up. i never bullied, my meanness was always in response to someone being shitty/bullying me, and it was basically only ever said in private, not AT someone. but being mean in a funny way also garnered me friends. until it didn't, i guess?
i just didn't like it and i outgrew it as a necessary coping/survival skill. so i shifted. and i THOUGHT i had shifted quite a lot over the years.
and yet ppl still automatically assume i'm being selfish, condescending, complaining abt them inconveniencing me, criticizing them, etc. even with NEUTRAL statements or questions.
and like on some level i guess that's their own problem, bc in at least some cases w some ppl, that's their own insecurity and presumably it has nothing to do w me, specifically, it's just that i'm the one who happened to say a thing and they took it whatever way bc that's their insecurity or issue or whatever.
but it does fucking suck and make me feel fucking AWFUL and question whether i'm a terrible person.
it's insane-making to say a neutral thing or ask a neutral question and have someone respond like you just insulted them and asked them to kill themselves in front of you. like, maybe i DID mean that horrible thing they read into it? am i being awful and cruel and i'm just not aware of it??? idfk man. surely their reading of it isn't BASELESS? could it be?
idk man it's like being gaslit all the time.
i've already been gaslit so i have trouble believing my own understanding of myself, and this continuing to happen just makes me less and less certain.
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artemismn · 1 year
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wowww an essay thak you !
im assuming you picked the last option, which is like You need to do more than fanfarm
i agree with that one too, and i do think reading stories and having an understanding of the character you produce matter more than what you have of the character in the game. overall.
when i think of producing wataru, and what i want of him, i want lots of itabags and a truck full of nuis and every keychain thats ever been made
i also want a deep understanding of his character, i want to know him more so so so bad. ive read maybe 1/3 of the wataru stories so far
in the game i have 70k fans and am only missing a couple of his cards
ive been crazy about wataru everu day for over a year too
i was seeking peoples opinions and views, thank you for delivering so well 🙂
Hello! i’m glad that i didn’t annoy you with that essay in the notes haha
I actually picked the 3rd to last option, that the only requirement to produce is to like and pay attention. it most closely aligned with my view point that all you have to do it engage with the character on a regular basis, even if it’s not as grand as having a full ita bag or having 10k+ fans. since even if it seems small to me, like i said in my reblog, there’s so many different ways to enjoy a media like enstars that i feel like i don’t really have a place to draw a line on what’s “enough” to be a producer! i mainly used hyperboles in my “essay” to explain my point. honestly, as long as someone isn’t claiming to be a producer of a character then consuming literally 0 content of said character, not participating in any events, not pulling in gacha, and not even talking about the character regularly (basically not engaging at all) then i’m not going to say they aren’t a true producer of a character ^^ though i do understand your perspective.
my perspective probably comes from my relationship to enstars throughout the years. i started playing in late 2016 at age 12 and now in 2023 i’m 19 lol. i’ve always been a fineP, with tori being my first fave then wataru turning into my number 1 fave shortly afterwards. over the years my level of interest has fluctuated, with there being times of obsession and times of hiatus, but i’ve always come back to the same characters, to wataru and fine as a whole, you know? even during the times of hiatus, there’s never been a time where i didn’t consider myself a wataruP/fineP. same thing with the friends i’ve met through enstars, i’ve watched them leave and come back to the game (perhaps come back more casually), but i don’t see their love for their faves leave them. in my eyes, i still see them as producers for those characters.
sorry for giving my whole enstars back story lol, your post/ask just got me thinking about my relationship to enstars! ^^ very introspective topic.
to me, wataru is a character that has always brought me happiness. when i think about what i want out of wataru, what i think of first the is comfort and happiness he provides to me. i want to see him and i want to understand him as a character. he’s someone i relate to very much. i want his cards and i want to get merch of him.
right now i have all but one of his cards on enstars!! music (i missed his 7th anniversary card during a hiatus waahhh). i only have about 43k+ fans though (going for rank B rn) because like i said in my “essay”, collecting fans wasn’t really an aspect i really considered much or cared about, at least not until recently haha. (he’s on all my main teams, but they all got maxed out so i didn’t progress far after that). i was planning on making an ita bag for him/fine a few years back (even bought the bag for it) but uhh yeah that adhd slump hit and ive ran out of spoons for it ^^; it’s fine though i’m happy with my nuis and scattered merch
anyway thanks for the ask 👍 i think your perspective is very interesting and i liked hearing about how you view your relationship with wataru! sorry that this turned into another, even longer, essay i love talking about things. have a nice night/day :)
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birdofmay · 3 years
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Important:
Unless I make it clear that I don't like something and that a post is negative, you can always assume that my posts are neutral to positive. I mean what I say unless stated otherwise. I'll make it clear when I'm sarcastic or joking. Tone tags like /nf (no force), etc. confuse me because usually it wouldn't even have occurred to me that someone could have felt forced by it. I take things literally and mean things literally. If I don't, I'll make that clear ☝🏼
FAQ:
Frequently Asked Questions (medical and personal)
Autism levels, support needs, severity, and terminology:
What's the difference between nonverbal and nonspeaking?
"Master-master post" about autism and terminology
Archive:
Words for when you suddenly can't speak anymore (based on suggestions; list is closed now)
What is receptive language disorder?
Why people still talk about "severity" in autism (double link)
Nonverbal/nonspeaking masterpost
Communication with autistics who are nonverbal "from birth"
Functional communication doesn't mean that you are able to self advocate
Support Needs and Support Levels masterpost
What trying to reclaim the R slur when you don't have ID implies (the reblog)
I use "severe" as a self-descriptor because that's what I was diagnosed with and therefore that's what people always refer to me as. I use it to indicate that my symptoms are different from most autistics on Tumblr and that I probably can't relate to most "extremely relatable autism posts" on here. I would never(!) force a label on someone, it's solely for myself.
You'll find my tag system and other things under the cut:
1. If I ever use too complex language for you, please tell me! 
Writing TL;DRs and finding simpler ways to express myself is actually good for my language comprehension skills, so we’d both benefit! I think in pictures, not in words. Writing is like a jigsaw puzzle of things I once read, so if my language is complex it’s because the text jigsaw puzzle was. Reformulating things and finding new words for the pictures in my head could improve the ability to express myself :)
2. I don't expect anyone to "read between the lines" and extract "hidden meanings" here! I make it clear when I'm sarcastic or joking, and I will explicitly tell you when I want you to know that I'm angry or annoyed! ☝🏼In case I forget that, it's never your fault if you didn't get it, it's mine because I promised to make it clear but didn't.
3. I turn notifications off for bigger posts - if you want me to see a comment, tag me! (Edit: I was told that you don't see tags from muted posts either... So if you want me to see a comment, DM me!)
4. Radfems kindly don't follow - your beliefs contradict the beliefs of most of my followers in a way that I think at some point you'll simply start attacking each other and I wouldn't want that. Especially for those who are higher support needs. I think you'll understand that. I mean most of your beliefs contradict most of MY beliefs as well, but I simply don't engage in that, I have radfem content blocked.
5. Transableds, you shouldn't have the fact that you're transabled (for example transautistic) in your profile when following me, because I block people posting about that.
6. Don’t take it personally if I don’t follow back, it doesn’t mean that I don’t like you! There are so many people I’d like to follow back, but if I did my dash would be full of posts I’m not interested in...... Maybe that’s an autism thing too. Sometimes I follow “regulars” back after a while because I got used to them. And then the first thing I do is spending hours (hyperbole) blocking tags or words so that I don’t have to see 100 video game posts... 😄
7. I don’t soft block people - but sometimes I want to block a bot and mix up usernames... So if it should ever happen that you used to follow my blog, but suddenly realise you don’t anymore: That was an accident, feel free to re-follow! Kicking you off my follower list wasn’t me setting boundaries, it was me being absolutely confused! 😂
8. Tag system:
#anecdotes - positive posts about my family
#anon ask or #ask - block if you don't want to see my asks
#faq - exactly what it says: frequently asked questions. Better read it before you send an ask
#birdofmusic - block if you don't like random talks about bands and tastes in music
#me trying to be informative - more or less informative posts about autism or other disabilities
#naughty post - sometimes I'll tell dirty jokes or something. Nothing explicit of course. In case you struggle with topics like that, block this tag
#not autism - block if you're only here for the autism stuff
#rambling - whenever I just want to write down a thought or situation and it's not really important
#sina's special interest - block if you don't like music theory and instruments like the piano
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jiangwanyinscatmom · 3 years
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What are your thoughts on the comphet WWX debacle? Like i personally feel like it’s such an exaggeration for him same as the “lololol clown didn’t notice LWJ liked him” thing, like we can all agree that romantic or physical relationships were the least of WWX’s priorities during his first life and yeah he assumed he must have been straight since he never liked a boy before (but actually never liked a girl either) but it isn’t like he struggled with himself and felt any shame or guilt or whatever when he started falling for LWJ he accepted it pretty fast his only worry was that he didn’t want to impose those feelings on LWJ, so the whole sbwy and comphet HCs though funny when treated in a lighthearted way i find them pretty hyperbolic when people make it out to be a big main theme of the novel and claim it’s pretty much what the whole thing was about *shrugs*
So, my take in concern to this particular fandom obsession is, that no I don't agree with the usual popularity of "WWX was straight boy turned gay/ struggling with loving a man", that a lot of fanon loves to make within fics particularly modern ones based within america (insert spongebob judging fish here).And we have Shen Yuan for this if people want an in denial totally tropey in denial gay, come on guys, get the books right at least here as that is an actual big plot point for SVSSS and Shen Yuan being a neet loser.
I find it particularly distasteful, offensive, outdated, etc. to him as a character anyways. As his usual flirting towards others are light hearted and quiet chivalrous towards girls when he is young to make them comfortable and laugh. His most overt sexual overtures actually concern Lan Wangji throughout the novel as well as many of his more romantic thoughts even if he himself does not delve deeply into the why of it when he was younger.
His sexuality is never an issue for him nor does he ever think badly of the thought of gay men in general, (this particular point is saved for Jiang Cheng within the text compared to Wei Wuxian). The only comphet he displays, is just what I'd consider what many LGBT individuals face growing up within very straight households. Sometimes they just don't think of the fact that they may be gay, he has also been around Jiang Cheng himself who pressed that his early interest in Lan Wangji was strange with every interaction. Which I have wrote about before. Being around an overt homophobe does not make it easy to explore deeper into your own sexuality or deeply about it when they say it's weird to think so much about a same gendered interest.
Wei Wuxian does not display many of the rather western traits of what is considered western comphet takes. He is not prone to displaying overt masculinity (aka, american jock boy playboy, GAG). He doesn't shy away from affection towards Lan Wangji even as a friend. The man is more than comfortable sleeping in the same bed as Lan Wangji for two months until it is when Jiang Cheng is the one to instill the idea that Lan Wangji sees it as shameful and does not reciprocate. Wei Wuxian worries that Lan Wangji is just too polite to actually say anything against it.
He weaponizes others homophobia as seen when it came to Jiang Cheng and Jin Ling. He rather quickly gives up on it with Lan Wangji, unless it is to actually tease him as he had done when he was younger which by the point of Qinghe and their find of the torso, is meant to be his usual form of flirting which he later notes can be considered as cruel due to the circumstances that happened between the two and perceived rejection.
The main theme has more to do with him being able to accept the love and safety that is given to him unconditionally. He had usually always been the one to give that while hurting himself, Lan Wangji being a man has very little to do with his acceptance as he full heartedly confesses once he knows that his feelings are reciprocated.
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babygirldennis · 3 years
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This shit is fake bby!!!
Here she is.. My masterpost of all the dumb, illogical bits of info contained within these s15 “leaks” that make me fairly confident they are complete bullshit. It also includes my little tinhat theories that have absolutely no evidence.
I will be putting it all under a Readmore in case you don't want to risk it or if you simply Do Not Care
First up, I'd like to point out that these call sheets repeatedly give very detailed backstories to characters that have few lines which conveniently paints a picture of each episode's plot. And I'm not an expert so correct me if I'm wrong, but after looking at other similar casting calls, they only ever include the demographic and necessary skills.
Basically who in their right mind would write up casting calls that give away so many spoilers? Seems like that could cause and issue if they were leaked lol. But anyway that's my 1st point. But onto the actual content
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So the conceit of this episode as a whole is that during the pandemic, the gang "gamed the system" and received three (3!) Loans to start businesses that went bankrupt. One of these businesses is implied to be the one started by dee and charlie who end up selling to Qanon shaman. Already this is so impossible baby.
1. We've already seen the gang try to get a loan and it didn't work. They don't have good ideas. Ur telling me, they managed to finagle 3 separate loans for 3 separate business ideas from an actual bank?
2. Maybe I just have bad reading comprehension but how does one have a business that is both fictitious and bankrupt?
3. If the customer is supposed to be Qanon shaman, an actual real life guy, why are the only descriptors white and male? They say he's shirtless so are they going to paint on all of the tattoos he has? And if so, doesn't that kind of ruin the dramatic reveal when charlie "throws in" the viking helmet? Why would he do that anyways? Sus.
Moving on
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Alright this episode would fucking blow for obvious reasons but im going to refrain from looking at this through my gay dennis thruther lens because im biased.
Purely from a narrative standpoint, a woman hasn't been shown to be interested in dennis in nearly 5 years during the wade boggs episode. Ever since, every single woman he approaches has been actively creeped out by him. And now I'm supposed to believe that 3 "smart, passionate woman" (In Their Twenties!!!!!!) agreed to go on a date with him? And Anna even slept with him! Just because he what? Agreed with her? I'm not buyin it.
Plus the concept of this scenario lacks any potential for comedy. When iasip gets political, they always discuss a very specific topic using hyperbolic situations and flawed metaphors. If this is supposed to be a political episode, what ultimately lukewarm point would rob be trying to make here? So far we know they're ranting about
The patriarchy
Privilege
Socialism
No more personal responsibility(?)
The... nature of power in society(??)
How on earth would an episode like get approved? This shit sounds like a Ted talk. It sounds like it was written specifically to sound like a political episode so boring and pointless it would generate outrage and mile long essay posts from Tumblr users and reddit users alike. Almost like this one lol.
On a completely unrelated note, do not try and convince me that Frank "casual cock ring wearer" Reynolds is unable to perform.
Jeez this is getting out of hand fast. Let's move on
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Ok now we're starting to getting into the Ireland of it all. Let me go on a bit of a tangent here about all this.. Now I thinq there are just 3 possibilities. Either this is all a publicity stunt and there is some truth to the Ireland rumors, the entire thing could be bogus from some weirdo fan (ps, if a fan did write this I want you to know I fucking hate you. You did this to me), or it is a publicity stunt but Ireland is just more bullshit.
I am going to assume it was a publicity stunt, otherwise I just wasted my entire evening and I can't have that kind of mentality rn. Additionally, I'm Going to tinhat here for a second and say that the Ireland rumors are true, but the details are different.
I say this because if they were going to do filming in Ireland, they probably figured that that information would be impossible to hide. In essence, my completely unfounded hypothesis is that this leak was their fucked up little way of controlling the situation while simultaneously messing with us.
Ok tangent is over, returning to the casting calls. From the looks of it, dee starts a "scam" acting class and has some very devoted students (Note that Tony was also the name of the porn shop owner. Seems weird!) Presumably after the gang replaces her with a monkey as the title suggests.
Honestly, there isn't too much here that's a red flag to me... seems like a nice little dee-centric episode that is the link to the Dublin angle. Assuming I am At All right, this could be a genuine plotline for Dee. However, the monkey could be a red herring and there could be a whole different side plot with the guys. who's to say. Next one!
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Ah yes this is the dennis we all know and despise.. no red flags for me here really, I'm also running out of steam because idk if it shows, but I am majorly sleep deprived atm. Anyway I'm going to the next one
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Okay this is where things start getting weird again ough a migraine just hit, anyway back to my earlier point about how casting calls would never contains major spoilers bc the people who see these wont be under any kind of NDA..
These ones reveal that bonnie dies. Again, that info wouldn't be in a casting call.
But also they suggest charlie has a irish penpal named Shelley who is his biological father. First off charlie is illiterate, although as pointed out by @undeadbreeze shelley could also be communicating in symbols. However, this scenario is still unbelievable to me for a couple reasons:
1. Bonnie's last name is Kelly obviously, and we know it's her maiden name because Jack's last name is also Kelly. But Shelley's last name is... also Kelly? In the context of this big ol hoax, it feels like it was written to show that look! his last name is the same as charlie's! That's how you know that's his dad! But It would be way too big of a coincidence if charlie's dad happened to have the same last name bonnie.
And 2. There's the whole mystery of charlie's long-lost sister from 'charlie got molested' but never any mention of a brother which according to this, shelley has been pretending to be his brother for years. And we all know how much rcg loves their continuity, it seems uncharacteristically lazy to just tack this on without any prior buildup.
And finally let me talk about mac for a second and specifically the line in gus's summary "both are gay men who are attracted to the priesthood for all the wrong reasons"
Iasip has commented on pedophilia in the priesthood many times in the past which leads me to believe that they are implying that mac is a pedophile? Please let me know if I completely misread the implications of that statement, but if not, then that is completely insane and one of the biggest indictators that this is fake. Mac is awful, just like everyone in the gang but he is definitely not a pedophile.
However even if i did completely misread that, it's still proof this is fake.. For all his faults, Rob put a surprising amount of care and effort into mac's coming-out. It hasn't been perfect, but Mfhp in particular firmly established that mac's faith is integral to his identity so Its unlikely that rob would throw all of that away for a cheap shot at priests.
Ok my brain is irradiated sludge at this point, but in conclusion. I hope that 1. I'm right, at least about it being fake (Otherwise damb that'll be so humiliating for me) And 2. This eases ur fears a bit. I don't want to lose all faith in future seasons bc I love iasip and miss the gang. If you read this far youre insane but I literally love you so goddamn much because I spent so so long tapping this out on my silly little phone
Please feel free to add on or message me your thoughts and opinions I need to know I'm not the only one who uhhh went a bit insane. And finally: whoever made these is a cunt. Mwah.
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ailuronymy · 3 years
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I doubt you'll remember this, because it happened such a long time ago, but it's been bothering me for years now and I wanted to get some closure on it. Many years ago, when I was 14, pretty new to roleplaying and completely new to Tumblr, I sent you an anonymous ask laughing about ridiculous unrealistic things that people were having their cats do in a roleplay I was in. Building blanket forts, among other things, and being transgender. At this point in my life I thought transgender only meant someone who had undergone gender affirmation surgery, and the idea of cats doing surgery on one another was hilarious to me. I shared it with the hope that other people would find it hilarious too. Instead, you told me that I had said The Wrong Thing and called me a bigot. I was confused, I was horrified, I didn't understand at all, and I more or less fled from tumblr for about two years. It was a formative experience for me.
Hello there. I do actually remember that post, although obviously since you were anon then as well, I didn’t remember you specifically. But I do remember. 
I thought about how to answer this ask for a few days. I’m not sure exactly what it is you’re looking for from me, but I’m going to give you the best reply I can and I hope that’s good enough for the both of us. 
When you wrote in to me, about eight years ago, I was younger than you are now. I was nineteen and I’d only been on tumblr for a bit over a year at that point, I think. I’d never had social media before, of any kind. It was all pretty new to me as an experience too, and I’d never expected this blog to get the attention that it did. I never even imagined that was a possibility. But it happened and I learned how to run a relatively popular ask blog on the job, as it were. 
There’s a lot I regret when I look back on that early era of this blog. The humour and jokes I allowed and sometimes encouraged and said myself here was often not kind, and that’s something I really regret. Eventually, I put an end to that because it just wasn’t the kind of thing I wanted any of us who have fun here to be doing. But I absolutely allowed it to happen for a long time first, and that’s on me. 
Also at that same time, there was a particular way of interacting on tumblr that was very popular. It was a lot of exuberance and hyperbole and insults, and being rude for fun, and overall very over-the-top and often harsh or just plain uncaring that there was someone else at the other end of the message. For everyone who was here in 2012, I think you can probably remember what it was like. It wasn’t a nice mode of communication, but it was popular and got great responses and a lot of people found it fun to read. For a couple of years after I started Ailuronymy, I was absolutely guilty of buying into it and acting this way, until I finally hated it enough to stop. It wasn’t who I wanted to be, in general or on this blog specifically. It felt mean and inauthentic and I wanted to be better. But I did act like that for a long time, and that was a choice I made. 
I’m not saying any of this because I want to make excuses for myself. I’m more aware than anyone else of the problems early on in this blog’s history, and it’s something I regret and wish I could go back to do differently with the knowledge and experience I have now. Unfortunately, I can’t change the past. I can only own up to it and do better going forward. 
I’m sorry for the tone I often used, including to you in that post, and I’m sorry that because of that behaviour, you felt scared and unwelcome here. That’s a failure on my part. I shouldn’t have used the tone I did, or assumed I had to take a defensive, intense stance the way I did. It’s very sad to me to know that because I did that, you were frightened and decided to leave. 
However, I would like to share my context too. Because at the time, I was nineteen years old (which I know probably sounds ancient to younger teens, but it’s not, really), and a bisexual guy (which I still am, obviously), and Ailuronymy was already a place that people (especially queer people) in the fandom were looking to for support and education. Insofar as this blog was developing a niche, that was it. I felt a significant amount of responsibility to champion and defend the people this blog was made for. 
2012 was also a time when the Warriors fandom on tumblr was genuinely very homophobic, and also quite volatile. It was common for people to be very angry (in general, and often at me) for saying that ableism isn’t okay, or that Warriors characters can be trans, or sometimes just “canon naming doesn’t make much sense.” I got quite a lot of hate mail--also sometimes just... confused, angry mail, for this naming system or any of the political things I talked about--and I was doing the best I could with what I had to give. A lot of what I learned during my years of running this blog came from making mistakes, but I always did my best.
The reason I’m bringing this up is because what you actually said was: “these cats can be homosexual, asexual, bisexual, pansexual, and transgender--don’t even ask me how that’s possible. I don’t want to know.” You came to me, a queer man, running a blog that in no small part is about how queerness is allowed to exist in this fandom and is in fact not implausible, during a time when the fandom as a whole was solidly anti-queer, with something like that. Like you said, you shared it with me--and the readers here--because you hoped we would find it hilarious and unrealistic too. 
But I didn’t, because, to me, that’s just what a lot of the fandom already was. It was a hostile environment that regularly argued that queer characters, or people, had no place here. That was the kind of things people on anon fairly often came to yell in my inbox about how I’m wrong, etc. etc., and how I’m bad, etc. etc. 
I reacted defensively, which I wouldn’t do now, because I’m much older, and I have experience and confidence I just didn’t then. At the time, though, what I heard in your ask was “queer characters are absurd and don’t belong here, don’t correct me,” and that is what I reacted to. I’m sure for you, it felt scary and disproportionate, and as I said before, I wish I had handled things differently, and gentler. 
But I don’t disagree with what I said. The points I made weren’t wrong. And my response--although not how I would respond now--was not wrong, even though it hurt you. It genuinely is horrible to know that because of my lack of tact, you were scared. It was also horrible to receive your ask at the time, just like many of the rest. It wasn’t hypothetical to me, because I’m queer. It was about me, and other people I care about very much.
The fact I’m queer is probably news to you, and you were new tumblr and probably didn’t know what was going on in the fandom, and maybe you would have said something different if you knew all this. 
Likewise, though, you were on anon and I didn’t know who you were. I didn’t know you were fourteen. I didn’t know you were asking in good faith, and not just another one of the homophobic fans thinking you’d found a friend in me, which frankly felt a bit insulting. I didn’t know you were and, again, although I wish I did more back then and was kinder in my approach, I didn’t have insight into your intentions. I also didn’t have the maturity for that not to matter.
That said, even in my very imperfect answer I tried to give you the benefit of the doubt. I specifically said:
“Before you think I’m victimising you - I’m not. This is not personal right now; currently, this is a mistake on your part, and I understand that mistakes are incredibly easy to make. If, by the end of my post, you get where you went wrong here, then it will be like this ask of yours never happened and I will forget you ever said it. I don’t like to hold any kind of grudge if there’s any way to avoid it, and an acknowledgement of where you went wrong here would completely fix everything about this.”
&
“So what you’re saying when you say that you don’t believe that “homosexual, asexual, bisexual, pansexual, and transgender” cats are possible in the context of Warriors is, basically, that you’re a bigot. I am really sorry to say that, because the chances are - I sincerely hope - that you aren’t. You’re a good person. You’re a good person who said something bigoted by mistake. And if you don’t believe what you’ve said is a mistake yet, let me show you some interesting true facts about our world.“
Because I know how easy it is to make mistakes and how hard it is to get everything right all the time, and know everything, and never do something dumb or hurtful. It’s easy to fuck up. I’ve done it a lot. The answer I gave you back then is just one example.
That what you took from my answer was only fear and confusion isn’t something in my control, however. I hate that that’s what happened, and I regret not being who I am now back then, but even though I did fuck up back then, I still did what I could at the time to mitigate the damage and reassure you that a mistake doesn’t define you. I am sorry it wasn’t enough for you to feel okay coming back. But I can’t say I’m sorry for telling you that coming to me on my blog with that kind of mentality is something I’ll tolerate at all. 
Ultimately, I’m sorry that our experience of each other was not a good one. I’m sorry that your memory of me is someone scary and mean, and that you felt you had to leave this site entirely for two years because of it. I regret that my actions left you with such a negative experience, because that was never my intention, even though the way I handled things with you was very poor. 
I hope you’re able to find the closure you’re looking for and I genuinely wish you all the best. 
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sugasugawarau · 4 years
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Synopsis: You knew that Kageyama Tobio was not your soulmate - and that was why you could not help but succumb to the waves that lulled you away from the shores of fate + semi inspired by Eyes Blue like the Atlantic by sistaprod ft. Subvrbs. Also part of @yacoka‘s collab <3 (2.4k words)
Warnings/notes: Some angst near the end, soulmate red string au, gender neutral reader. No beta we die like Rex Lapis so if I ever feel like it this may be edited at some point asdahdhj idk LMAO
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— Prologue
There are as many reasons to fall in love with Kageyama Tobio as there are fractals made by the ocean’s breath as the world inhales and exhales, flourishes and wilts, conquers and surrenders. It would not even be a hyperbole to say that in number, they remain unrivalled to the plethora of stars that stain the waves with their reflection and run deeper than the scars of lightyears that paint lines from Cassiopeia to Aquila.
After all, he is the darkest hue of navy blue.
Determination that moves in an orchestra of thundering waves, brandishing on its crest an admirable recklessness, heeding not for the need to call upon courage or confidence; polished instinct that endued one with the same awestruck feeling when facing the beautifully suffocating obscurity of their life in this world, a mixture of raw fear and the need to impart a piece of their soul in everything they do despite how fragile the skin shielding their heart is.
But the best part of loving Kageyama was that you were not - or will ever become - destined to be.
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— Shoreline
Red.
It was a word that was always thrown about in conversations, the fuel to the catastrophes that were high school gossip chains, and the colour that held the mangled passion of the string of fate. Garishly predestined and easily tangled by unnecessary complications of jealousy and confusion, it is needless to say that you hated red with more passion than the love it emptily promises with a title as shallow as soulmates.
That was not to say you despised love. There was nothing wrong with love itself, a fact which you had decided firmly since the spry age of four years old. What was wrong was its combination with soulmates: a rigid formula, nothing like the walks with your grandmother on the bright summer roads littered with flowers as her calloused palm gently guided you, or the laughter you shared with your friends after a long run in the rain, hugging each other goodbye at the end of the day despite the muddy battle scars covering your arms and legs from falling countless times.
Your mind could have kept you engaged in your internal debate for longer if you were left to your own devices, but an awkward cough and the sound of a desk shifting towards your right brought you out of your reverie, bringing your drifting thoughts back to the classroom surrounding you.
Perhaps your look of confusion came off as hostile, for the dark-haired boy now sitting next to you looked at you with a slight glare that felt forced, an automatic effort to defend himself.
His tone of voice only confirmed your unconsciously off-putting expression as he gruffly stated, “Group project.” to explain his sudden presence.
“Oh. What’s the topic on?”
An awkward silence had ensued while you tried to calmly collect yourself by gathering a handful of pens from your pencil case after being caught in your heinous crime of not paying attention to your English teacher.
“You don’t know?” Came his reply, causing you to occupy yourself by finding extreme interest in a lime green highlighter you did not have any recollection of ever buying.
“Well, I clearly wasn’t paying attention.”
“You… weren’t?” The slight intonation in his tone was a stark contrast to your initial impression of him and caused you to look up at him, almost letting out an amused snort at his befuddled frown to which he furrowed his brows and shot a challenging “What?” in return. Realizing that he was genuine in believing that you were deep in thought over the lesson, a burst of laughter blossomed past your lips, attracting a few odd looks from your nearby peers and an abashed glare from him.
You paused to take a breath, a repetition of sorries stumbling their way out to appease the onslaught of nagging you thought would follow shortly. Instead, all the boy muttered was a simple, “You’re weird.”
“Sure, but that’s beside the point - were you paying any attention?”
“No.”
Seeing your face contorted to stop yet another bout of laughter to roam its way into the world as a result of his bluntness, he shot out of his seat and announced that he would go ask the teacher, unable to hide his puzzlement as he walked away. He would come to regret this decision when the teacher began to lecture him, earning more heads to turn his way as she scolded him before sending him off dismissively with a sticky note that you assumed had your now long-awaited topic.
Before you could thank him for enduring what could only be one of the worst things to experience as a high school student, he wordlessly handed the piece of paper to you and sat down.
“Kageyama, right? With this project, you’ll have me to thank for the A we’ll get,” you promised confidently, to which he responded with a halfhearted “Good luck.”
If he had been a close friend, you would have taken the small textbook on his desk and gently hit his head at his evident lack of belief in his capabilities, but settled for a clipped sigh instead. After all, you did not want to further contribute to the premature wrinkles Kageyama was making himself prone to with all of the brow-furrowing he did.
This is going to be one long month.
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— Largo
Like how the ocean reluctantly caresses the sleeping shore as it wakes from its slumber during low tide, your lives slowly flowed together.
During the first week of your group project with him, he would greet you curtly, and on a few occasions, you would have short conversations about the outline of your book review.
And this singular week was enough to show that there was some (okay, maybe a lot) of backing behind the teacher’s warning about Kageyama’s dismal grade.
While you flipped through A Midsummer Night’s Dream, you would catch the all-too-familiar confusion on his face - it was written on his features so blatantly that it was almost comical, as if taken straight out of a shonen manga.
“You know if you’re stuck you can ask me for help.”
A slight scowl greeted you over the hedge of pages he had been burying himself in, followed by a biting, “Who said I need help?”
You could only roll your eyes in return.
“Please drop the prideful act. You've been glazing over the same page for about twenty minutes now."
After a few seconds of grumbling did he finally comply, and with your explanations, his bookmark was now comfortably sandwiched between the double-digit page numbers right as the bell rang. You hummed in satisfaction before returning your desk to your original spot, expecting him to rush out along with everyone else - so to turn around and see him still standing there was a bit of a surprise.
“Did you still need help with the last few lines?” You settled on asking, not really wanting to plague your break with work but offering nonetheless. Thankfully, he shot a look of disdain at the play as he stuffed it away haphazardly in his bag.
“No, I just wanted to,” he trailed off a bit, the tinge of red on his ears an out-of-character detail you decided not to comment on, “to say thanks, I guess.”
You smiled softly at the unexpected gesture of appreciation before giving him a teasing nudge which he stiffened slightly at.
“Well, I can’t have you bringing down my mark now can I?”
“Nevermind, I take it back.”
“Too bad, I have those words of gratitude stored nicely in my hippocampus already.”
From there, tutoring sessions with Kageyama became the norm, with you sometimes asking about his volleyball team after he had let slip that you were a better teacher than Tsukishima (something you would be sure to smugly share if you ever met the infamous middle blocker).
By the end of the month, all of the hard work - and a couple of all-nighters due to procrastination - brought forth an A as you had promised.
Even your relentless teasing, varying between “I told you so!” to “You owe me at least three meat buns now” which were all met with an annoyed “Shut up”was not enough to dim the smile he tried to hide.
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— High tide
With the force of nature, the tide rose without warning; from goodnight texts to confessing to the first “I love you” uttered shyly between shameless souls, neither of you was sure where things began, but found comfort in such liberating chaos.
In times where he needed to be held, you were there, and the insecurities you would hide, he would turn beautiful. And today happened to be a day for both as you stared absentmindedly at his bedroom ceiling.
“Hey Tobio, what’s your take on soulmates?”
“We’ve been together for almost a year now, what do you think?” he put his phone down and turned towards you, “I could care less about soulmates or whatever else is worrying you enough to make your overthinking go into overdrive.”
“Rude, have some respect, it’s my profession after all,” you shoved him playfully as he snorted in reply, “It’s just... If your string ever appeared, wouldn't you rather-”
“Listen Y/n, did you know that I’m scared of dying but I’m even more terrified of the thought of living without you? I could never and don’t ever want to replace you. People can talk all they want, if I could find a love like ours without something as stupid as a piece of string then I don’t need a soulmate.”
“Really?”
With a flick to your forehead, he huffed in fake exasperation. “Really.”
“Huh, who knew you could be so romantic.”
“It's not romantic, I'm just being honest, idiot.”
“You sure could make do with some more lessons on manners and social tact. It's too bad you can't pick up on those as well as volleyball drills.”
Before he could retaliate, you enveloped him in a familiar embrace, burrowing your face into the large hoodie he donned.
It was effortless, his company.
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— Ebbing away
But it wasn’t all romantic.
You fiddled with your phone as you waited for any sign that Kageyama had seen your messages, the pack of meat buns you had bought on a whim no longer letting off their fragrant steam. You knew he had an important match coming up against Seijoh, that he had to prove himself, that he lives hungrily and foolishly like no other. But his missing presence went beyond volleyball practice, keeping his distance from you even when he was right by your side.
Why am I stuck reminiscing about the past when we still have each other?
Why does every step I take towards him feel as if I’m only drawing myself farther away from him?
A carousel of rhetorical questions spun around your head as you stopped your slow pace towards Karasuno. You were not blind; you knew the rumours and dirty looks from your classmates were not something anyone could be immune to, that he tried his best to spend less time around you at school. The only conclusion you could reach was that he was ashamed: either of you, or the fact that he had begun to see his red string and could not bring himself to face you.
Ignoring the urge to let yourself cry, you glanced down at your phone once more, 8:30PM flashed across your eyes, followed by your empty notifications. There was no way he’d still be practicing at the school now and even if he was, you doubted he would be happy to see you. Maybe - no, definitely - it would be better to head home, and maybe stop by the convenience store you had bought the now misshapen meat buns from to get some tea and call it a night.
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If only fate did not reciprocate your hatred towards it.
Stepping into the small store, the first person you are greeted with is none other than Kageyama Tobio. The whole situation was like a fever dream, and you would do anything to be able to let out a laugh and have him call you weird all over again. But all you could bring yourself to do was blearily stare at him.
He turned around quickly, as if not wanting to be caught before ushering you outside. “Y/n? Why are you here?” he hissed, a stiffness that he had recently adopted to his body language that you were now all too familiar with.
“What? Am I not allowed to go into any and all convenience stores I please?” You challenged, a part of you waiting for him to care enough to see how tired you were, to actually look you in the eyes for the first time in weeks.
He did not, opting to turn his head towards the door again.
“It’s not that, it’s just-”
“Just what? Tobio, what is up with you lately?” A pause ensued, broken by a small hiccup as your eyes dampened - God, how much more pathetic could you get than crying in front of some dingy convenience store - “Do you even love me anymore?”
How odd. You thought that by finally uttering the final question that had been dancing around your mind free to the world, you would feel better. That he would reassure you, as he always had.
Not that he would at last meet your gaze, grabbing your hand to look at the red string wrapped around your ring finger.
The taste of tears and Kageyama’s eyes as blue as the Atlantic all felt miles away from you as an orange-haired boy stepped out of the store, his mouth dropping into an o-shape when he saw that his string led to you, a disheveled mess arguing with his teammate.
“Kageyama…You knew? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because I didn’t want to face the reality of it all. Because I was afraid of losing you.”
“But I wouldn’t leave you-”
“I know you wouldn’t but you should!” Kageyama’s furrowed brows, once a quirk of his that you were fond of, now elicited a sick turmoil in your stomach, “You have to. Please.”
You wanted to yell at him, let the blood pour out of any and all raw words of anger and hurt.
Who was he to decide what was good for you, to throw you at some boy you never met before, to give up?
Then again, you could never say you would not have done the same for him if you knew he had found his soulmate despite the sweet words he had told you so long ago.
So you let yourself go. For his sake.
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fuckyeahisawthat · 4 years
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some thoughts on jerusalem, 1099
Today I’m thinking about how the particular event in which Yusuf and Nicolò most likely met each other during the First Crusade, the conquest of Jerusalem, was very much not a battle from which you can extract your standard epic medieval high fantasy grandeur. (I don’t really know how much this was intentional on the creators’ part, but it seems thematically appropriate.) There are other battles during the Crusades which can be made to fit that epic template better, if that’s what one is looking for, but not the conquest of Jerusalem. Not at all. It was a grinding siege that culminated in a mass slaughter of civilians that horrified witnesses on both sides at the time. And I think it would have been a defining life event for both of them even if it wasn’t tied up with their immortality, but it becomes even more so because it is.
(I don’t know if I’ll ever develop this into a full fic, but I have thoughts on this, so have this half-meta, half-fic situation. Putting this under a cut because we are talking about a massacre here and some bits get gory.)
There is a conventional battle during the siege of Jerusalem in which Yusuf and Nicolò could have met, fought, and killed each other, which I’m sure they would have done quite eagerly and without remorse at that point in their lives. That battle takes place on July 14 and 15, 1099, when the Crusaders finally breach the city walls after five weeks of siege. And it’s dramatic! There are siege engines and flaming arrows and close combat on top of the walls! The kind of thing a newly-minted holy warrior should consider himself blessed to be part of! (He does not, but he’s not going to think about that right now while he’s concentrating on not dying.)
Once the Crusaders get inside the city, though, we are in an entirely different landscape of violence. This isn’t a battle anymore; it’s a massacre. The city is full of civilians and the invaders proceed to slaughter as many of them as they can get their hands on. They kill a substantial portion of the Muslim and Jewish population of the city, including many, probably thousands, of people sheltering in houses of worship. It goes on for at least a day, maybe longer. (It takes time to kill that many people.) Eyewitnesses describe walking through blood up to their ankles and having to pick their way through streets filled with piles of bodies (and piles of body parts) and while some of the descriptions may be hyperbole, the point is, they kill a lot of people. And it goes beyond the level of soldiers entering a city and opportunistically killing anyone who gets in their way. To kill that many people there has to be an element of continued intention (which is not necessarily the same as premeditation, but a sustained desire to keep finding people to kill) because any reasonable civilian at that point will flee or hide. So this is where you have reports of soldiers going house to house and pulling out whoever they find and killing them. Today we would most definitely call this an act of ethnic cleansing.
While I’m sure Yusuf and Nicolò would have both heard all kinds of things about the rumored barbarism of the other side...neither of them would have been expecting an atrocity of this scale. That kind of indiscriminate and sustained mass killing of civilians would have been far beyond the norms of warfare they would have known at the time.
If you know a little bit about the urban landscape of Jerusalem you can imagine quite vividly what flavor of nightmare this would be. What we today call the Old City of Jerusalem would have been just the city back then. And a lot of things are different now (the current walls are not the same walls that Yusuf and Nicolò might have crossed swords on and several layers of architecture weren’t there yet) but the bones of the city are the same. It’s an old, old city that has been conquered and destroyed and rebuilt on those bones many times.
It’s a dense, close-hunched city, full of twisting, hilly streets, narrow alleys and overhanging buttresses. It would probably feel less claustrophobic to a person used to medieval cities than it might to someone living today, but it would still be a terrifying place to try to survive a violent event in. It’s a city built mostly out of stone. It probably echoed. In peacetime those twisty, narrow streets invite wandering and lingering by market stalls and discovering tiny coffee shops tucked into secret courtyards that you’ll never find again. In the middle of a massacre they get choked with corpses, stone steps treacherously slicked with gore. In the Old City today you can still find streets where the pavement is slightly slanted toward the middle, so that rain and grey water run into the center of the street and not into people’s houses and front courtyards. You really can imagine the streets running with blood.
What might our two characters be doing within this horrorscape, assuming they probably had been killed at least once in the fighting by this point? I think Yusuf would be doing what would seem to be the only logical thing to him, having just cheated death and woken up to find death everywhere: he’d be running around trying to kill as many Crusaders as he could, quite understandably feeling that they absolutely deserve it, but slowly growing more despairing as it hits him that whatever he does, it isn’t enough, the city has fallen and so many people are already dead. It isn’t even his home city, but the horror is overwhelming and it would stay with him for a long time. And even though he knows he is just one person--one person with a gift, but still only one--I think that thought would always be at the back of his mind, each time they throw themselves into a new conflict, of maybe this time you can do more, maybe this time you can make the crucial difference.
As for Nicolò...well, there are a few options, but the one that feels right for his character to me is that he would be frozen. Not participating in the atrocities inside the city, but certainly not stopping anything either. He might actually be sort of hiding; maybe he goes into a house (trying a few before he finds one without a pile of bodies in it) because the only thing he can focus on is finding some fucking water. Eventually he finds a house with a cistern in the courtyard and drinks until he pukes; dry-heaves for a while, listening to the sounds of carnage all around him and trying not to think about how it really felt like he died this morning but that can’t possibly be true; finally gets it together enough to drink some more and keep it down this time. After that he just kind of...stays there, in shock, for who knows how long, sword still bloody up to the hilt from the battle on the walls because he hasn’t bothered to clean it. Utterly paralyzed because he didn’t sign up for this, he didn’t sign up for this, but even he knows that’s a pathetic excuse; you signed up to conquer the city, didn’t you? You don’t get to wash your hands of what happens afterward. (I think Yusuf probably yells some version of this at him at some point when they’re not-quite not-enemies, and he can’t offer a single word in his defense.) And he is not about to raise his weapon against a civilian but he can’t quite get to the point of trying to stop any of his brothers-in-arms from doing so. So he does nothing.
I think it would take him years, maybe decades, to fully process this experience. But I think whether he is conscious of it or not, a lot of his behavior becomes driven by having been the person who’s paralyzed in the middle of an atrocity, and never, ever, ever wanting to be that person again.
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sanchoyo · 3 years
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danny phantom, season 3, episodes 1-2 thoughts! I had to split up my season 3 watch awkwardly because the second part of it was too picture heavy and tumblr only wants you to have 10 pictures per post, per the No Fun Allowed Rule. :/ I was planning on just doing 1-6 then 7-13, but, it'll probably be split into 3 posts now... (along with a follow up thoughts post after I finish and think on it for a lil while...)
see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3
-vlad got a new mansion. and the guys in white IMMEDIATELY BREAKS IN AND STARTS SMASHING THE SHIT OUT OF EVERYTHING, DESTROYING HIS NEW MANSION KAJDFHSSKADJKJN. NEVER LAUGHED SO HARD IN MY LIFE. 'the greatest practical joke ever' TUCKER YOU ARE SOOO RIGHT.
-'DAnnY FenTon MadE mE ThE LaugHINg StOCk oF WisCONsIn' if you dont shut up. you made yourself a laughing stock. love the cute pink hotel room. also, Vlad's Naked on The News. VLAD BUYING THE NASTY BURGER TO TEAR IT DOWN. the way they keep escalating these..pranks? IS TEARING DOWN A BUISSNESS A PRANK?? (the metric by which I decide if its a prank is if its funny to me or not. vlads house being torn down? funny prank. local burger place being torn down? maybe not. MAYBE the naked on the news prank was pushing it because he WAS in a hotel just, minding his own business, but like, he stays bothering danny for no reason when danny is just minding his own business, too! its not right but there IS a sense of vindication here. yknow?
-...'at least now he's channeling his sociopathic lonely bachelor energy into something positive!' this is unironically an insult to actual sociopathic people. 'but he doesnt care about other people!' 'and thats why he'll make a great politician!' BRUTAL. but not untrue? I mean, this is not at ALL surprising. hes a billionaire via cheating and lying, and already a huge Slimeball. So yeah, politician is 100% right.
-but did vlad move to amity park? I might be wrong about this, or illinois laws might be different, but I kinda assumed if you're running for election for mayor in a town, that you had to live within the voting jurisdiction and be registered to vote there. I mean, he's temporarily in a hotel and technically displaced rn (...I thought for sure he'd have more vacation homes...) so I guess there's probably a grace period to find a permanent home in amity park?
-ME, CHEERING DANNY ON EVERY SINGLE TIME HE BEATS VLAD UP, BEING SO PROUD OF MY SON:
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-'hes overshadowing the voters!' why...are you surprised, danny???? election fraud is Nothing. did you forget he stole BILLIONS OF DOLLARS.
-ok the school uniforms are kinda cute tho lol.
-NO TEENAGERS ALLOWED IN THE NEW RESTURAUNT?? WHAT KIND OF BUISSNESS IS THAT,, SO PETTY. tucker straight up tearing off the security camera. king of property destruction
-vlad trying to make life hell. For a 14 year old. who is trying to genuinely apologize and offer a truce (despite all the creepy and fucked up things vlad has done to him and his family). what the fuck can I even say about this. I think i've said several times while watching 'what the fuck is wrong with you', i need a stronger statement.
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-Teens Against McMasters! Fries Not Lies! I want to see vlad get mauled by teens. I want them to start Throwing Rocks.
-vlad saying 'dudes' is the worst thing I've ever heard.
-danny overshadowing the clone was GENIUS AND MAKING HIMSELF LOOK INJURED. SO PROUD OF YOUUUU. USE HIS OWN TACTICS AGAINST HIM. GET HIS ASS.
-frostbite's design is really interesting. ghost...bones... incased in ice?? anyway im so glad danny is getting more hugs :)
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-oh, they basically worship(?) or put danny on a pedestal because he defeated pariah?? well IM happy for him having more ghosts that are friendly to him :) also, sam and tucker's lil snow jackets...super cute.
-more ghost lore!!! THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE IS A GHOST PORTAL. OF COURSE.
-VLAD ACTUALLY DID GET A CAT AWWW KITTY I WUV U KITTY. who he plays chess with...okay, you know what, thats so valid. and actually, pets are usually actually good for mental health, you have a lil guy to care for and they can give u a reason to try ur best so u can provide for them, and they are always good for comfort...good job, vlad!! next go to therapy. 'if anyone asks, you're my sister's cat!' so does he actually HAVE a sister? can she come beat him up
-sam is Right. they shouldve immediately taken the map back to frostbite! but I get it, exploring Can Be Fun
-'carnivorous canyon' in the ghost zone is just mystery flesh pit
-vlad is going to burn a 14 year old girl at the stake. you know, I half expected clockwork to come up and stop this, because they're fucking with time, BUT. nope. this is nbd, I guess.
-well, blood blossoms are terrifying. I know 'ive never eaten a vegetable in my life!' was tucker being hyperbolic, but this kid is going to get so many digestive problems if he doesnt Start Eating Healthier.
-...vlad wanted to go to rome and be a god?? I want to know where he self-inserted himself in their already established pantheon. what did he say he was the god of??
-VLAD SET THE ENTIRETY OF ROME ON FIRE. SO THEY PROBABLY ASSUME GOD OF DESTRUCTION. GOD OF ASSHOLERY.
-how embarrassing, to swordfight a 14 year old and struggle to win. lmfao they keep running vlad off every place he tries to take over
-'if i can destroy the first airplane, man will never fly and I will rule the air!' VLAD. DO YOU THINK. DO YOU THINK THE WRIGHT BROTHERS WERE THE ONLY PEOPLE TO THINK OF AND CONCEPTULIZE FLIGHT???! oh my god he is so dumb. people have always been trying to fly even before that, and even if you destroyed (1) plane its not like no one else could make one??? as if people hadn't already been making hot air balloons since the 1700s??? or coming up with concepts, and studying on how to make them work? starting to think vlad shouldve paid attention in college and not been so fixated on maddie. or, I dunno, read a book in his huge library...(I mean, I dunno what he majored in or studied in college, but it obviously wasnt history...)
-vlad getting his ass kicked by snow dogs and getting shidded on by a pigeon :)
-'hes got more in common with us than he realizes!' DANNY IS A YETI??? CONFIRMED (no,, but I hope that means we'll see more of the far frozen! I like them :)
-what in the world was this episode tho. like..okay?? vlads plans did not make ANY sense to me, like, was I missing something , or. WHY is he so fixated on Ruling all of the sudden...sure he might be power-hungry, feeling powerless can do that and I'm sure the accident/being abandoned made him feel that way, but its always felt like his real end goal was just to steal jack's family out of jealousy and spite, not to like. um,, rule rome I guess. ?? theres No Maddie In Rome, Vlad.
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writing-the-end · 4 years
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LoL Chapter 28- In Shadow
Masterpost
A Wizard Hermits tale (AU, designs, ideas belongs to @theguardiansofredland)
Returning to his hometown, Etho hs to balance his past with his present, as well as keep Keralis and Grian from embarrassing him in from of his old teacher and town. 
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Etho always thought he was a handful- he may act mature, but his mind is full of mischief that would make even a criminal stumble. But dragging Keralis and Grian through the misty swamps of his home, he realizes there are more ways than one to cause trouble. 
Keralis goes sloshing away, swallowed up by the fog. The only way Etho knows he still exists is by the loud splash of the bug wizard, followed by a string of curses in his thick accent. Keralis returns to Etho’s side, wrestling a stag beetle and cooing at how lovely it looks. 
Grian on the other hand, Etho couldn’t get to shut up. “I think I have half the swamp in my boots.” 
“You could just fly.” Etho points out. 
“But I can’t see anything!” Grian’s whine echoes through the thick copse of trees, bouncing off submerged ferns and aged wood. “How do you even know where you’re going?” 
“Secret ninja techniques.” Etho muses, following the trail at his feet. Beneath the water, he can feel ridges carved into the stone, under the silt. Guiding him to his hometown. 
Keralis’s eyes get wider than usual at the sound of a branch snapping in the distance. He whips his head around, pulling on his hat and brushing closer to Etho. “Are you sure we’re alone?”
“We’re not.” Etho grins. Both Grian and Keralis whimper, searching the fog like they’re trying to see a ghost. They might as well be. “The town knows we’re coming. They’ve already seen us, even if we haven’t seen them.” 
“Ninjas.” Grian whispers. The trio continues in silence, or at least as silent as Grian and Keralis can be, sludging through the swamp. Grian chatters with himself and the bug wizard, his voice bouncing up cypress trees as tall as towers, clambering over the roots. He gets a foot tangled in the submerged vines, and goes headfirst into the slow moving brown water with a yelp. “Etho, when the hell are we going to get to this town? I haven’t seen any signs that we’re even close.” 
“Ah, yeah. I haven’t seen a spot of dry ground this whole time.” Keralis adds. “Are they on stilts? How does a town like that stay out of the swamp?” 
Etho feels the carved markings beneath his feet turn into a radiating circle, like a ripple across the surface. He stops, grabbing Keralis and Grian, a grin appearing on his unmasked face. “We’re here.” 
Grian turns around in a full circle, looking at the copse of trees. “Uhhh, are you okay Etho? This looks the same as every other part of the swamp.”
“Maybe it’s hidden in the fog? Fog magic?” Keralis waves his arms around as if he’s attempting to feel around in the dark. 
Etho leans against a root, grinning. “Try looking up.” 
Grian does so, and gasps. 
Above their head, a town hovers over them. Lantern lights split through the fog, unveiling themselves like a stage curtain, warm yellow glows dancing off the wood and paper. Beneath the strung lantern lights, dancing will-o-the-wisps above their heads, bridges of plank and rope connect tree to tree and guide the townsfolk across the swamp without making a sound. 
The fog continues to disappear, and the town of Shellor unmasks in ripples. Homes and businesses nestled in the massive trunks of the trees or perched on the expansive branches, the open air filtering the earth and water tone of the swamp air through bars, abodes, shops, and shrines. For a second, Grian wishes Mumbo was here to rant about the engineering marvel above his head. How much time it must’ve taken to build a town in the sky, where they even get the fire from, and hidden out of sight, out of sound. He never even realized they were walking beneath it. 
“How...how do we get up there?” Keralis tips his head, holding onto his hat so it doesn’t slip off. 
“Normally, adults can just climb up ourselves.” Etho launches from the root, grabbing hold of a branch and swinging himself up, higher and higher. “And Grian can fly, obviously. But- I’ll grab the basket.” 
“Basket?” Keralis watches the two disappear among the intertwining bridges. A second later, something is dropping back to the ground. It’s not a basket he thought it would be. It’s a lift of sorts. The wood floats like driftwood on the murky swamp water, the walls opening to invite Keralis in. He clambers on the wood panel, surprised to find that the weight hardly even shifts. Even when the walls pull back up around him and the basket starts to rise, he feels like he’s on solid ground. It’s the smoothest lift he’s even been on, something that would put Darlon to shame. 
Etho and Grian have their heads poking over the railing as Keralis rises up. “A pretty neat invention, huh?” Etho laughs, running a finger along the rope, watching the pulley system release the weight a distance away. “It’s not used often anymore, really just for when kids need to get down, supplies, the like.” 
Keralis stumbles onto the bridge. The warm glow of lantern light invites him deeper into Shellor, and the scent of food makes his stomach growl. Spices that dance with the mist, a warm rumble of quiet laughter from the nearby restaurant. But everyone’s movements are lithe and silent, even if their talking isn’t. Everyone in the town walks without a sound, like cats stalking their prey. Exactly how Etho walks, constantly spooking Keralis when he’s in the middle of reading or baking. 
It quiets down, and even Etho pauses. Grian and Keralis turn around, surprised to find Etho prostrating before a shrine. They never took him to be the god-worshipping kind. But they sit down next to him, looking at the shrine. It’s made of stone- how that got up here, neither of them can guess. Lanterns are kept aglow and the crescent shaped bowl protected with a carved wooden gazebo. After a few moments, Etho speaks. “Manys, god of the moon. Patron to Shellor, teacher to the art of stealth. I remember my first lesson to harness my power was to watch the full moonlight travel across the swampwater. Silent, but present.” 
“Is that how you learned to be a shadow ninja?” Keralis whispers while Grian lights a dying candle. 
“Nope.” Etho chuckles. “I definitely took a more...physical approach.” 
“Etho!” All three hermits stiffen at the shrill shriek of the shop owner a few bridges down. “I knew you’d come back! Don’t think I haven’t forgotten about all that candy you stole!” 
“Ah, that’s what you mean.” Grian muses, watching as Etho is given an earful by the man. It’s the first time Keralis and Grian have ever seen Etho embarrassed, the pale skin under his white hair blushing red, his hand rubbing the back of his neck. 
“Mr. Toku, I think Etho has heard well enough.” A warm voice, quiet but persistent, cuts through the berating tirade. Before her first syllable was uttered, Keralis and Grian knew this was someone of importance. An unusual sense of raging peace, like sitting next to a swollen waterfall in the middle of a forest, exudes from the woman like an aura. She turns, and immediately sweeps Etho into a hug. “It is good to have you home, my pupil.” 
“Hello Reverent Nama.” Etho squeaks, hardly able to breathe against such a tight hug. A weak smile appears on his face, the one person he missed most when he left being his teacher, the head monk of Shellor. Nama. He doesn’t even remember her real name, he’s always called her Nama. 
“Look at you, so tall! You grew like a shoot, Etho.” She grabs his cheek, looking at the scars on his face. “I still remember the day your magic first showed itself. Have you been using my teachings, anak ko?” 
“Nama, I remember it all. But you know me.” He offers a sly grin, but nods silently. “I still like to watch the moon, though.” 
“The best teacher, and the mother always with you.” Nama’s voice dips into a lower octave at her sagely advice, before rising back up as a smile creases her warm, deep toned skin. “But you must be starving, walking through the swamp. Come, bring your friends.” 
She waves her hands, blue and white robes beckoning the weary travelers deeper into the town. A glint of lantern light catches Grian’s attention, and his eyes go as wide as saucers at the sight before him. The biggest gong he’s ever seen in his life. Taller than Grian, even with his wings stretched high above his head, the silver metal glimmering like the moon at the center of the town. Archways decorate and dance around the massive instrument. Grian’s drawn to the gong like a moth to the flame. 
Only to be thwarted by Etho. He grabs Grian by the collar, dragging him back in line with Reverent Nama and the other monks. Keralis giggles and teases Grian even as they enter the raised, thatched house. Bowed roofs similar to the arches and pagodas they saw before protect angular, woven walls and open windows. The swamp breeze filters through the mat-strewn floor as Nama opens the sliding door. Nama disappears into an upper level, before returning with a steaming teapot and five different plates of food. The boys sit at the low table, suddenly alone with the leader of Shellor. Silent as shadows, her peers had disappeared. Like ninjas. “I assume this is not just a family visit.” 
“How did you know?” Keralis croons, sipping on the warm tea poured before him. His eyes light up at the fried, wrapped treat set on his plate. His massive bug eyes only unnerve Nama, repositioning in her seat at the sight of such strange friends Etho brought. 
“Etho isn’t exactly the visiting kind. A practical pupil, even to the day he left.” 
“Nama, you of all people know how to gather information. You see what the moon sees.” She nods at Etho’s words. It’s not hyperbole- it’s her magic. “Surely you have information about husk monsters attacking all over Lairyon.” 
“Why does that interest you, Etho?” Nama gazes over the rim of her teacup.
“We intend to stop it.” Grian states, flat and plain. Etho seethes, sending imaginary daggers at the blond angel before him. He needs to be more subtle than that! 
“Finally, someone to take up the mantle.” She responds. “I have heard worrisome things, are you three sure you can handle such a task?” When all of them nod, she continues. “Then you need to start here- husks have been attempting to enter Shellor for the past few days. They have broken through our mist barrier, but have been unable to reach the town. I do not think they will stop trying until they reach the bridges.”
“They want to steal your magic, your power. They’ll kill you all.” Etho growls. 
“Exactly as what my informants told me. Do you boys think you could defeat an army of mindless creatures?” She pauses, looking at their faces. Seeing the glint in their eyes and knowing. “Excuse me, I have underestimated you. It seems you have already done so before.” 
“We’ll need more than just your information, Reverent Nama. We need supplies, tools of stealth that only Shellor can create. We need to use every advantage we can find to stop these husks. To stop-”
“To stop Magistrate Dolios, yes.” Nama nods, a growl breaking through her neutral expression. “Whatever you and your friends need, I will be happy to give. But for now, eat! Tell me, anak ko, who are your friends here.” She leans over to Etho. “Is the one with the large eyes okay? Is he some sort of hybrid?” 
Etho chuckles, and welcomes the warm food of home into his body. He missed the taste of good palabok, wishing at least one other hermit could cook his hometown’s food like Nama could. He introduces Keralis, quickly explaining his magic, then moving onto Grian. Even Nama, in all her wise counselling, was shocked to learn he was an angel mage. She knew they existed, beneath the watchful eyes of the moon, but to see one in front of her? And in a guild as wayward as Etho describes? 
Their plates are filled as fast as they’re emptied, food appearing out of what felt like nowhere. Etho smiles as he hears laughter rise from his friends and teacher. He left Shellor because he felt restrained. But to be home? It felt freeing, now that he’s an adult. Now that he has his guild, he feels more connected to here than ever before. They continue talking well into the night, until the fog fades and the moon observes the quiet swamp. 
Nama closes her eyes, falling into a quiet meditation at the dinner table. But when her eyes open, it’s anything but calm. She rises so fast her knees almost spill the table over, robes fluttering like leaves in the wind. “They’re here. Oh gods, they’re already at the barrier.
“You wanted lessons in stealth? Well, lesson number one- don’t let your enemy see you.” Nama motions for another monk, and he casts his magic circle. In one deep breath, he inhales the magic. And a gust of wind from his lips blows out every single candle. Only the full moonlight bears illumination upon the town. 
And the distant crack of lightning, an ashen storm visible through the spindly cypress trees.
Townsfolk shuffle in the dark, accustomed but alarmed. Night is when Shellor is most alive, lanterns lit and moon in full view. Nama sends her monks to scout ahead, to be the first line of defense, before marching towards the center of town. 
Towards the gong. It reflects the moonlight, blue luminescence titillating across the silver instrument. A mallet the length of Nama’s arm is plucked from the arch, but she pauses. Looking over her shoulder, she sees Etho practically holding Grian back, the angle bouncing in his boots. Like so many of her other pupils, and who is she to deny him something so exciting? She hands the mallet into Grian’s hand. He wastes no time putting it to work. With wings unfurling and hovering at the center of the circle. One mighty reel backwards, he swings. The mallet strikes the metal, and both Grian and the gong reverberate in response. A low, loud ringing warns the entire town they’re under attack. Grian still feels the sensation of the strike in his arms even after he lands. 
“The husks aren’t after anything in particular- they just want as much magic as possible.” Etho warns, pulling free his kusarigama, watching the darkness. In the distance, a blood curdling howl of a banshee turns even his blood cold. He doesn’t want to face that beast on good terms, much less a creepy husk version. 
“How can you stop them?” Nama questions, dipping her arms into her robes. She doesn’t need a weapon to be dangerous. 
“There’s no crystal.” Keralis warns. “But there is a darkness storm.” He points to the distant canopy, black clouds roiling across the sky. 
“We just have to defeat them. One by one, it will weaken the storm and purge the land of their presence.” Grian flutters over the side of the bridge, looking down. Below, among the swamp water and cypress roots, monsters and mages scrabble up the aged cypress wood. Throwing themselves higher and higher, unlike Etho’s smooth agility to the town. “No matter what, don’t let your fighters get caught by the husks. They’ll turn into one.” 
“Stealth is our trade, angel.” Nama hums, arm reappearing and offering up supplies to the trio. Smoke bombs, firecrackers, magical climbing gear for Keralis, an enchanted mirror to Grian. “We shall do our best, but you three are clearly the masters in this battle.” 
Nama steps back, and bows. Pride swells in Etho’s chest, almost causing him to tear up. If he didn’t hear the snarls of darkness consumed being of pure anger, hatred, and power, he probably would’ve. He’s never seen Reverent Nama bow to anyone else before. 
And then she’s gone. Disappearing among her robes, the hermits next see her down at the roots. Battling with a cold rage, like sunlight reflecting off the moon. Etho hands a few smoke bombs to his friends, grinning. “Let’s raise hell, shall we?”
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Naminé Rambles
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My Favorite Burden
Word Count: 826 
If there’s one person in this galaxy that annoys me almost just as much as I love them, it’s my sister, Kairi. 
Older by two minutes. I don’t think I’ve ever met someone as pushy as she is. If she wants you to do something, she will find a way to get you to do it, whether it’s by manipulation or force. She wants to stay positive and optimistic about almost everything and gosh, I used to find it so annoying. Not everything is sunshine and rainbows! 
I don’t know where she gets her energy from, either. She’s always... doing something. It’s like she can’t sit down for two seconds, which I find baffling. She can’t stay in the house for long before she starts to lose her marbles (which can be a funny sight, I must admit). I remember one time she got grounded for sneaking out late at night and I went to check on her fairly often. One time she was curled up in the fetal position, another time she was banging her head against the wall, and another time she was bundled up in her sheets with a hat made of tinfoil singing at the top of her lungs pretending to be an opera singer. 
She was that bored. 
Kairi likes having people around her. She has a thing for connecting to others very easily - something I used to be a little envious of. But hey, as long as I have Roxas, my cat, and a cup of hot chocolate, that’s more than enough for me. 
Sometimes, she can be a bit of a know-it-all. She likes to call me ‘little sister’ even though we’re just minutes apart and she knows how much I hate that. It’s so condescending, like I’m a level below her. I let it go sometimes, but it rarely ceases to irritate the mess out of me. 
One thing I can say that’s similar about us is that we’re both stubborn and headstrong. If there’s something we want (or don’t want), we’ll find a way to get it. We probably get it from our dad. Unfortunately, this means bad news for me most of all. After all, it was Kairi who forced me into going to the... what is it called again? The Annual Destiny Islands Summer Beach Party? Gross. 
We had just moved to the islands only a few weeks prior and Kairi couldn’t drag me out of my room if her life depended on it. She resorted to basically blackmailing me into going because she thought I needed some fresh air. Which, I probably did. But still! She was going to tell my dad about this guy I used to talk to and... it’s a long story. 
But despite all of that, she’s probably one of the kindest, most compassionate people I’ve ever met in my entire life. 
As much as she annoys me, for years, she was the closest I had to a best friend. After our mom passed away and I shut down almost entirely, she assumed the role of keeping us fed and making sure the laundry was done and the dishes were clean since Dad had practically suffocated himself in work to keep himself busy. It was like she became my caretaker. 
I’ll never forget her acts of kindness. 
“Naminé, I’m going to the store to pick up some groceries! Text me what you want. Don’t worry, your double mint chocolate chip ice cream is already on the list.” 
“Naminé, I started the bath for you. It’s got that lavender and vanilla aromatherapy that you love and your towel is in there for you, too.” 
“I left your breakfast in the microwave, little sister. And you better eat it this time or I swear I will stuff it down your throat myself if I have to!” 
That last one wasn’t hyperbole. 
She’d even get me out of bed for breakfast when I didn’t have the strength to do it myself. I really don’t know how she was able to put up with me for so many years. But she kept me in relatively good health. 
In fact, I don’t think I would’ve met my boyfriend if it weren’t for her. I met him at that stupid party she dragged me to. And if I had never met him, well... I don’t know where I’d be right now at all. So, maybe that stupid party wasn’t so stupid. Maybe. 
She might be pushy, but she’s equally supportive and encourages me all the time. It might come off as a bit inconsiderate sometimes, but she always means well. She has such a big heart and it’s one you don’t see very often. Her smile can light up an entire room and she’s one of those people who can grate on my nerves while also making my whole day. She’s been nothing short of a blessing. 
My sweet, annoying little burden. 
I’ll always love you. 
-  Naminé
Credit for the artwork goes to @wingbladeweaver1357​
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