#so many of those posts on my dash just straight up have the username out for everyone to see

[diospore]

Hey a heads up. If you're going to be doing that "putting a screenshot underwater" filter to make fun of someone's post. You should probably censor the username so that the person doesn't get hate. If the post blows up, you may have opened them up to harassment.

[mylittleredgirl]

while we’re having the endless debate about sorting by kudos or not on ao3, i have to stump for my personal favorite way to find fics:

i basically always go straight to the “bookmarks” page for whatever pairing/tag i’m reading rather than the “works” page, and i literally just realized why: it lights up the same parts of my tumblr gremin brain as my dash does.

content hand-selected by people who are bookmarking shit for their own reasons entirely unknowable to me, so it’s a mix of quality peer review and user xyz’s to-read list

if you keep going back to it there’s a repetition over time as new people bookmark old fics. as a tumblr girlie my brain enjoys seeing Thing I Recognize

brand new fics often show up there if they’re good!! (equivalent: new posts tagged “investing at 5 notes”)

a lot of the top kudos fics keep showing up too because so many people sort the works page that way (equivalent: heritage post)

but so much random stuff shows up too that i would otherwise never find, thanks to the hardworking folks out there sobbing into the bottom of the tag at 4 am (equivalent: those posts with 56 notes from 2011 that somehow?? end up on your dash like bestie how did you even find that)

sometimes there are 30 bookmarks in a row by the same person who has a new hyperfixation and you get to think “good for them”

sometimes you get to recognize a username as someone having good or seriously bad taste

sometimes i see my own fics in the mix!! and get that little hit of positive attention (or neutral attention i guess, when people add a bookmarker tag like “it’s about [my fave character] but it’s ok”)

yeah! people can add bookmarker tags and their own notes! so sometimes people rec fics or add marginalia and their own sortable tags (but most people don’t)

there’s always that one fucking harry potter crossover fic with 194 tags in the mix (equivalent: manscaped ads you can’t escape). not saying this is a plus, but scrolling past the same long post you hate for the dozenth time is also an essential part of the tumblr experience.

re: that last bullet point, the one downside of the bookmarks page is that the filtering isn’t quite as robust as on the works page. you do have all the usual include/exclude filter options, but the very last section of filtering (crossovers, WIPs, word count, date range) is not available. (@ ao3 coders please i’m begging 🥺🙏)

anyway i’m sure the bookmarking economy is different across fandoms, but this will give you a semi-randomized feed of the tag, weighted toward new and popular fics (and, for better or worse, unfinished multi-chapter works and megafandom crossovers). it’s probably a good place to start for people who long for an algorithm, but unlike the usual user-targeted panopticon experience it’s more like the chance to rummage through strangers’ junk drawers for fic. tumblr vibes. you get me.

[yanderart]

   Once you found Shouto on the Anti-Purge forums, it felt so wonderful to be understood. So comforting to finally have someone you could rely on...

So, when you got a letter notifying you of your selection for the Annual Purge later on, of course you went to seek his help.

Should’ve known better than to trust strangers online, though.

My fic/portrait convo for the Yandere Purge Collab, from the Lovesick Discord. And please check the rest of the m. list for other amazing works set in the same AU!

Under the cut is the actual fic (Todoroki x Reader, nsfw, dark themes, 10k), as well as the respective TWs. Hope y'all enjoy 🥀

-------

Tws: Usual yandere ones (stalking, manipulation, delusion). Dub-con/Non-con. Non-consensual Drug Use, aka Aphrodisiacs. Death threats and sexism (from randoms on the forum, not Todo). 

-------

   You couldn’t think straight —hadn’t been able to since waking up again. All you could recognize amidst the fog currently obscuring your thoughts was the longing, prolonged, and tangible in its hold over your being.

You felt hot all over, the flames licking at your skin burning brightly as you squirmed from your place, eagerly attempting to get closer to the cold reprieve emanating from the man that held you. 

“Tell me what’s wrong, Y/N." One of his hands was steering you on his lap, the other one gently massaging your shoulders in a comforting motion. “I can only help you if you do."

If your judgment had not been overcast by the desire pushing away your self-awareness, then perhaps you could’ve heard the faint hint of amusement in his voice. Perhaps you would’ve thought to look up and finally encounter the content shine of his heterochromatic eyes.

“I feel…" speaking was laborious, your tongue impossibly weighty and your mind swirling with thoughts that escaped any semblance of coherence. “I feel hot all over. It hurts.”

The hand positioned around your waist went to search for one of your clenched ones, easily engulfing it in his grip as he nudged the side of your face with his chin rather tenderly. A gentle encouragement for you to stay attentive, anchoring you to the moment despite your dazed mindset. 

“Show me then,” his low timbre tickled your skin, sending another wave of excruciating heat to wreak havoc inside your body, “Let me know where it hurts.”

With a stuttering sigh, you proceeded to press both of your hands to your lower stomach, gulping audibly before bringing them further down. Dancing just short of your underwear while your eyelids fluttered shut. 

You knew your actions were out of character deep down. Even recognized the shadow of wrongness that distorted the current scene. You weren't supposed to do such things, weren't supposed to feel like that…

But the reality was that you were so excruciatingly warm by that point, and his palm felt so deliciously cold. 

When you heard the dreadful siren going off in the distance, the instantly recognizable sound of the Purge starting at last, you were already too far gone to think of anything else but the fingers brushing against the thin cotton of your panties, so close to the evidence of your need soaking through them. 

Your parents had told you not to trust strangers online once upon a time. You should’ve really taken their advice more to heart.

。。。。。

   But first, perhaps a little tracing of your steps is in order —some necessary context to fully understand the extension of your plight. 

You see, earlier that day you had woken up full of a peculiar mix of drive and determination. It was indeed Purge Day, the single day of the year you had grown to fear the most  ever since childhood, and yet for once you found yourself oddly relaxed, filled to the brim with resolve instead of your usual nerves. 

Which was already an unexpected turn of events, considering you had just gotten a letter notifying you of your selection as one of the accursed Darlings of the Night. 

A gentle reminder that, if caught, your life would stop belonging to yourself for an entire dreadful year. 

Because a Yandere had their sight on you now, or so the notice had informed you in impeccable typography. Anxious fingertips memorized the slight raise of inked words, inspecting every single detail the letter carried.

You had imagined a monster ready to pounce just outside your door then, fitting enough to be the carrier of your bad news. A preternaturally grotesque being, built from all the Yandere themed horror stories you had heard throughout the years.  

And yet there you were, feeling safer in that instant than you had in years; Because this time you had a plan. He made sure to give you one you could easily follow.

Just like he later made sure to welcome you in with a kind smile and awfully persistent hospitality. 

"Would you like a cup of tea?"

You should've known better than to accept.

。。。。。

   In the present, fingers were now dipping under the elastic of your panties, ghosting across feverish skin and encouraging your whimpers to grow louder. 

"Is this what you want, then?" The man's breath tickled one of your ears, rough digits gathering your slickness with practiced ease. And he sounded genuinely concerned too, as if your discomfort was not a consequence of his own machinations. "Because I wanna ease your pain, baby. Give you what you truly need."

He barely even touched you yet you were already struggling not to crumble, the desire governing your mind mixing with the new sensations to create a new delirious kind of torment. 

Continuing to tease you, the man was relentless in his torture, barely even brushing over your neediest spots. A gentle press of his palm to stimulate you for a moment before pulling back, much to your shameful frustration; Better than nothing, but not close enough. 

In his own way, though, he was urging you to speak up. Expecting you to demand what you truly wanted. 

Yet as a retort, all you could come up with was gasping out his name, dripping from your lips like honeyed prayers as your hips fought to buck up against his hand. 

 A sound you afterward repeated a hundred times over. Chanted until its melody became engraved on your tongue and the man was finally caving in, sliding his fingers inside with a smirk. 

He had known you'd end up caving, had planned for it for months now, and yet nothing had prepared him for the actual view.

。。。。。

   Shou, actually, had been his username when you first met him. Once upon a time recited with a genuine smile and an eagerness to please, such a far cry from the anguished whines it would later lead up to.

You started frequenting the forum he inhabited a few months back. A place which happened to be a hidden corner of the internet for people who did not just stumble upon it, but actually sought it out. A part of the web where its occupants challenged societal norms and, against what society had tried to condition you all into thinking,  chose to voice their taboo Anti-Purge sentiments instead. 

Sentiments perhaps born either due to the inherent discriminatory nature of the holiday (why was it that Yanderes were accommodated for, while Darlings barely got a warning before they were made prey?), a need for contrarianism (when opposing open kidnappings, assault and other debauchery became an act of rebellion), or just a tenuous moral high ground which made it unbearable to stomach. Whatever the reason, it was your first time encountering such a density of like-minded peers.

Despite attempting to commit yourself to being a lurker, deciding to never post or reply to others, your days had still quickly become consumed by the need to read each and every topic. You were simply fascinated with this new dark corner of the web. 

That was, of course, until the aforementioned Shou became the main focus of your attention, a dash of intriguing brightness to break the monotony of your existence.

And like moths rushing to the flame, your curiosity would be your undoing.  

There was something about him that pulled you in (along with many others from the community, which tended to flock on his posts whenever he grazed the forums). His username was clearly just a nickname instead of a carefully crafted pseudonym; profile picture just an image of the back of what you all assumed to be his hair, dual-toned strands catching the light in a hypnotic way.

Truly, his disregard for anonymity within those parts was a bigger statement than you were expecting, almost as commendable as it was dumbfounding. There was the nature of his postings too, never subtle about his inclinations or ideas. 

   How to disarm and reutilize Purge Traps. 

   Most effective ways to incapacitate a violent assailant.  

   Government lies and why they matter. 

   Faking a BOPC (breach of purge code) and getting away with it.

There was little method to the madness that was his forum activity, besides the hint that he was evidently more knowledgeable about the subject than most. Plus the fact that he was proactive about his advice, actually seeking to teach others to fight back instead of just hide away and hope for the best. For another self-proclaimed Darling, Shou was ruthless with his methods —it was hard not to admire him.

And admire you did, keeping tabs of his sporadic bursts of activity and speeding to try and interact with him whenever you caught him online. You were, to voice it simply, simply star-truck by him (and perhaps becoming a bit of a fangirl). 

Because whoever Shou was, it felt like he understood you. And so, against every ounce of your common sense or natural paranoia, you had finally decided to break your golden rule and reach out for the first time since you joined the niche forum. 

And not to just leave a vague comment agreeing on public discourse, but to actually send him a private message. In your defense, how were you supposed to know the chains of events your actions would start?

   Do you actually believe what you post?, had been your lame conversation starter. 

Luckily for you, he did not leave you hanging. You made sure to send the message while he was still active, one of the few days a week you knew he devoted to his presence on the site (and wasn't it slightly creepy, how you had taken the time to learn his schedule by that point?)

   I wouldn't be here if I didn't, dry, to the point and leaving you embarrassed to have even sent the first question. 

Yet for some reason, something about Shou reverted you back into a middle school kid seeking to impress a way cooler senior. 

Perhaps it was what he symbolized (a change for the better), what he appeared to be (everything you wish you were) —whatever it was, your fingers were frantically typing a reply as soon as his appeared on your screen. 

   I just think it's amazingThe things you know

   How you share them with everyone

   The way you see through the lies

   I just think you're— , your digits hovered over the keyboard as you were about to type out the last sentence before quickly deleting it. Even in your excitement, you knew how obsessed you'd sound if you started complimenting him personally in your very first conversation. 

So instead you sent your thoughts on his posts and awaited his answer with bated breath. A few minutes ticked by this time, your anxiety making you count down the seconds in mortified silence, slowly weighted down by your doubts until your notifications for the forum were going off again with a distinct ping. 

   I've seen your replies around. I think you're great too. 

Whatever your hang ups for praising him directly had been, he clearly did not harbor any. As the prongs of nervousness alleviated their hold over your body, you struggled to see any problems with it either…this was a person you had come to idolize, and they thought you were great?

Your smile, while still anxious, was considerable while you quickly responded. 

   I'm just a n00b. Learning from the pros. 

A moment of thought, biting your bottom lip as you decided whether to add a second message or not. Fuck it, you told yourself. 

   I wasn't even supposed to be posting anything, but you made me wanna reach out. 

Was that too forward? Oh god, it was, wasn't it? You must've sounded creepy, must've sounded desperate and…

   That's cute. Did my ramblings teach you anything? 

An actual squeal left you then, sounding like it came from an altogether different person. You were an adult, with a career and responsibilities… Yet somehow, this stranger online indirectly calling you cute made you more excited than you were comfortable admitting.

   Ofc. I didn't even know what a BOPC was before. Didn't know most of the purge traps you mentioned, either. 

The spaces between replies were getting smaller, the conversation turning fluent as you both seemed to be staring straight into the screen, waiting for the other to finish typing. 

   So you really are a n00b then. 

Shit, did you fail some sort of forum etiquette by admitting that? Somehow, the need to impress Shou was more palpable than ever. 

   And you clearly know your stuff. Makes me wanna up my game. 

Be more like you, you left unsaid. 

   So am I your senpai then? 

Your fingers froze just above the keyboards, eyes scanning over Shou's last message and reverted back to staring at his profile pic for a solid minute. You would've squealed again, if you weren't so taken aback. 

   You make it sound like I am, his second message lit up your screen, coming in quickly after your rare pause in replies.

   I don't think that's bad, though. Third message from him, and you were close to fainting now. 

   Then in that case I suppose you are. You wondered whether Shou wouldn't think you were pathetic admitting that, or whether he had been honest by saying he didn't mind... 

   I've also noticed you agreeing with some of my more polarizing views. 

A welcomed change in topics. 

You thought to ask him which ones (most of his posts tended to have a polarizing effect, with people finding him either too radicalized or not radicalized enough), but before you could formulate the question you saw the twinkling circles symbolizing he was typing up another sentence.

   Do you actually believe them? And now it was his turn to spit your words back at you. 

   Well, yah. You make compelling arguments. 

   Color me impressed then, the start of his new retort left your mind spinning. Never met a n00b like you before. 

After his declaration, you found yourself writing and rewriting your answer, hesitating on your word choice, and yet pure elation coursed through your veins. 

He said he's impressed with me, your brain kept supplying on loop. You had no way of knowing just how much of a lasting impression you were leaving. 

   I don't wanna stay one tho. I'd like to jump a few levels. Improve.

Barely a moment's notice before his last message provoked a noticeable hitch in your breath. 

   I can help you with that. 

Which, as short of a reply as it was, left you giddier than would’ve been healthier to admit. 

Perhaps it could be chalked up to your work shifts growing more monotonous and tiresome, your social life becoming a faint echo of what it used to be, or just the regular wear and tear from a too-plain existence —a routine where you didn’t tend to engage with life, but just passively watched it go by.

Whatever the true reason was, that night you went to sleep with such a wide grin that the apples of your cheeks had started to hurt from the exertion, infinitely excited after getting to talk firsthand with someone you had already come to admire by that point. 

It almost made you self-conscious, knowing just how much it all meant to you, how such a small gesture on his part happened to mean the world to you. 

But there was really no reason to feel ashamed or overzealous over your own reaction. If you could’ve seen Shou, you would’ve known you weren’t the only one smiling.

。。。。。

   Almost as open of a smile as the one adorning his features right now, currently hidden from your view as his fingers set a maddening pace. Tortuously slow at first until his knuckles started brushing against your opening with each thrust. 

All you could hear now were the wet sounds of your arousal facilitating his movements, motions whose only purpose seemed to be to drive you more rambling and disoriented by the second. 

"Is this what you want? What you need, perhaps?" His usually calm voice was uncharacteristically affected as he gasped against your ear, the torture he was making you endure clearly getting to him as well. 

You were much too preoccupied with the waves of pleasure and warmth overflowing your body to give a proper response, but your lack of one did not deter him. 

If anything, your needy gasps and whines were the only encouragement he required. 

"Don't worry, Y/N. I'll take care of you, make you feel good."

By that point, the hand that had been petting your hair had found its way to your sopping heat too, calloused pads circling around your pearl while the man continued feeding you his eager promises. 

"I get you, baby. Just like you get me." So close, your entire body taut and ready to snap. "And you want me to take care of you too, right?"

You weren't conscious enough to understand the implications, your impaired judgment prohibiting you from reading further into the meaning of his words. He sounded so encouraging, so deceivingly tender despite stuffing you full of his fingers as you squirmed on his lap. 

All you could do was nod furiously.

And later on, when your senses sadly returned, dedicated yourself to lamenting over which of your actions brought you down this unfortunate path. 

。。。。。

    Perhaps, your consciousness supplied, it had been the fact that you opened up so readily. That you had dared to share with a supposed new friend, things that should’ve better stayed hidden in the first place.   

But goddamn it, you felt downright honored that he even considered you worthy enough to entertain in the first place. From the very first second, Shouto already had the upper hand. 

During the first few conversations, the topics you two discussed were all closely related to the purge and your mutual hang ups with it. Concise and carefully typed out messages were exchanged, discussing opinions you had never expected anyone to be interested in hearing—not from you, at least. 

But then, as the weeks slowly progressed, the subjects of conversation began shifting to both of your lives, to your occupations, hobbies, and, directly against the forum's policy for privacy, the people you two were outside the confines of your online corner. 

Even without actually exchanging any real data or supplying him with your name or age, you found yourself starting to open up more and more with each day.

You told him about your grueling office job, the friends you hadn’t seen or texted in weeks, and the reality of an apartment which more closely resembled a containment cell than a home…

Revelations that you had kept hidden for so long, which now came pouring out without regard for how mortified they made you feel. You were conscious of the limits blurring between you two the further you kept going, of how you were telling him things best left unsaid, cramped and buried in a hard to reach place. 

And yet, for some obscure reason, everything Shou represented made it impossible for you to resist the temptation to speak up, to demand to be heard for the first time in an eternity of quietness. 

You’re pathetic, is what you expected him to say in return. Pathetic, weak, meager, and worthless. Anticipating him, somehow, to echo all the doubts and deeply held fears you carried inside. 

   Most of my friends don’t understand either, was instead the response you  received. But most people don’t see what's wrong, what needs to be changed. You feel lonely because you do.

It wasn’t clear what you would’ve wanted to hear beforehand, the things you had fantasized someone would reply if you ever gathered the courage to share your anxieties. Whatever those expectations had been an eternity ago, they now vastly paled when compared to what your new friend was dangling in front of you. 

It felt like he was giving an excuse for things you had always perceived as personal failings. If what he said was true, it would mean it wasn’t your social ineptitude that kept people away, your uselessness, or uninteresting personality.

It would mean the shadows around you could still be dispelled somehow, exorcising the silhouettes of a suffering that had become a regular companion in your day to day life.

Brandishing a courage that only anonymity could give you, your fingers were a blur on your keyboard as you tried to ignore the rapid heartbeat in your chest, the fear, and exhilaration from opening up for the first time in forever. 

Something you would later regret a thousand times over.

   And you do too, and it wasn’t a question, a nervous comment or a stuttered retort. With the aid of the text format, you could look as confident as you knew you weren’t. You understand as well. 

You understand me, was the tacit meaning behind it. The prickling of unshed tears made it so you were furiously blinking, fighting against the downpour despite your eyes refusing to leave the screen for longer than an instant. 

   I do. More than you realize.

For all intents and purposes, your first mistake was indeed opening up. 

And your second one was being naive enough to let him in. Seriously, why hadn’t you heeded your parent’s advice about stranger danger?

。。。。。

   ...If they could only see you now, coming apart at the seams and with the name of your tormentor being the only word you were able to string together. 

"Such a beauty, and all for me," his praises accompanied you through the rough orgasm ripping through your body, lips kissing your forehead in stark contrast to the digits still pumping inside your heat. "Let me hear your voice, baby. Let me hear how beautiful my name sounds on your lips."

And you obeyed, because what other choice did you have. Mindless, broken, and oh, so needy. 

You continued to audibly moan as your climax unwound, crying out his name in absolute reverence while Shouto's smile deepened against your skin. The chill of his touch was still as soothing as ever, calming down the embers of a lust that refused to completely die down.

When he finally pulled his hands from your core, you felt excruciatingly empty. But you were not given enough time to wallow in your despair, because who you once considered your friend was then grasping your face gently between his hands, leading your gaze to meet his—forcing you to witness the intensity and adoration present there. 

"My Y/N."

Even in your deeply intoxicated state, the last few dredges of your senses supplied just how utterly abhorrent the situation was. 

The sirens signaling the start of the Purge had died down a while ago, drowned out by your own cries of pleasure, but you could still see the remnants of the government logo still plastered all over the TV, its bright glow bathing you both in an eerily scarlet ambiance. 

From the same weak place of coherence, a shiver of fear managed to break through your stupor. 

"You're going to continue to be a good girl for me, aren't you?" 

When he kissed you then, slow and almost ironically hesitant despite what had just transpired moments before, you couldn't begin to tell your body to refuse. Much to your own horror, you were soon eagerly kissing your tormentor back. 

。。。。。                                                      

   The second mistake leading up to your downfall, on the other hand, took a little longer to occur. It was after a few more weeks of conversation. You vented and talked way too much, while Shou listened intently and even rewarded you with a few crumbs of advice of his own.  

So wrapped up in your new seemingly innocuous friendship you were in, you failed to recognize the magnitude of an event that should've sent you scrambling to shut off your monitor. A warning so loud it would've put the Purge sirens themselves to shame. 

You see, with Shou's help, you were slowly becoming more of an active user around those parts. You didn't just stick to replying to his posts or lurking until he shot you a private message anymore; no, you were now officially a contributor, deciding to step out of your anonymity to share what you thought was a fairly interesting article. It was a rather long-winded thinkpiece on the morality of Darlings’ treatment after the Purge had ended—the reality of that year spent in captivity that most people tended to just brush under the carpet, all in the name of making the entire ordeal more palatable to digest. 

In all your eagerness, however, you had failed to realize a very crucial detail, which was that the article was a whole two days old. Already an ancient text by forum's standards, apparently. 

So with that in mind, of course you should've expected the hate, an outpouring of bitterness fit for a community of loners and acidic underdogs. You were on an anonymous forum on one of the darkest parts of the internet, somewhere most sane people actively stayed away from—Clearly, a rookie unwittingly reposting something was the perfect target for a lot of your bitter comrades. An excuse to finally take out all of their pent up frustration.  

   Fuck1ng pleb, thanks for copy-pasting the same post for the 55th time. 

   This is why we shouldn't let newbies post. Look at this mess @mods.

   Time to hang it up, n00b. And by “it”, I mean your f****** neck.  

   i bet ur a girl, [Username]. u type like a b1tch. 

And the icing on the cake for internet interactions, a myriad of wall spamming "KYS" being plastered all across the comment section, bold and daunting as they filled your notification box with the repetitions of hate. If you weren't so sure of your safety behind your screen, perhaps you would've felt intimidated. 

As it stood, you were just embarrassed, mortified at the fact that you had seemingly botched your only attempt at leaving a positive first impression. If anything, it only seemed you had given everyone a common enemy to pick on for once...

Or that was, at least, until Shou happened to log in at exactly that precise moment. You knew he was usually busy around that day and time (he never actually told you whether he had a job, but you had surmised as much from your past chats), so his instantly recognizable profile picture and username popping up had you genuinely gasping at first. It was one hell of a coincidence, but you couldn’t help but feel a sense of relief at what looked to be your savior.

   Everyone, stop getting your panties in a twist. This is why no new users end up staying, the environment is abhorrent. 

It was vague enough not to betray the fact that you two weren’t just strangers anymore, as well as keeping Shou’s reputation as a lone wolf from completely shattering.

And a comment which, surprisingly, instantly dulled most of the incoming messages your post was being flooded with. 

People respected him there, his status as a renowned user giving him a genuine sort of power and hold over the rest of the community. One of the first things you had recognized on the forums was the distinct hierarchical structures amongst its users, and there Shou might’ve as well be granted the title of mayor for all the weight his every sentence carried.

Or at least they did with the majority of the community. As in every place where large numbers of people gathered, there were always a few rotten apples just begging to be tossed. 

   and ofc ur whiteknighting for her, Shou The Great. shes sucking ur dick under evry single post u make

You cringed, studying the bitter user that had decided to be a contrarian and easily recognizing him from unsavory past encounters you witnessed. Although, if you were completely honest, this time you couldn't exactly say his words didn't carry a certain degree of validity.

Shou had told you he was glad that was the case with you, that his post resonating with anyone was one of the main reasons why he hadn't just disappeared from the site completely. But in reality, saying you weren't subtle about your agreement with his ideas would be an understatement. 

You were like a puppy skipping behind him, trailing his interactions and always ready to write an eager comment backing him up. Yet you had never thought others actually paid attention to your mostly one-sided interactions, the occasional meager downvote or emote being the only thing that made you aware your comments weren’t just lost in the sea of spam Shou’s posts were usually showered in. 

For the longest time, your support had just felt like leaving letters for the man to find. Letters you hadn’t even been sure had reached their target until a few weeks back...

Suddenly, the sharp sound of Shou's incoming reply drove you from your tribulations.  

   Well, maybe if you weren't such a crude man you wouldn't be permabanned from starting topics yourself. Although I doubt anyone would be sucking your dick either way, shitty ideology considered. [Image attached]

A grimace was quick to grow on your face as you aptly studied the picture Shou decided to close his reply with.

It was a screenshot of what looked to be someone's post history, a rather extensive list with alarmingly offensive titles such as "Why male darlings should be spared", "The purge is a form of cuckoldry" and “Feminist agenda: female yanderes and their biological advantage [Repost]". Almost all of them exhibited a tragic downvote ratio right as well, besides the red symbol signaling the posts had been archived by senior users or mods.

For someone who also loathed the terrible holiday, it was almost admirable how the man managed to be almost as detestable as the criminals you all rallied against. 

But even so, what disturbed you the most wasn't the clear bigotry of the user, but the fact that that screenshot couldn't have been taken from public records. A user's post history was hidden, just another measure on the site’s part to keep people from recognizing too many details about each other and possibly endangering themselves. 

No, it could only have been taken from inside the account. And judging from the other guy's quick reaction, you weren't the only one who came to that realization.

   how the fck did u get that

   I knew u were friends with the mods. fcking rats 

By that point, everyone else had stopped clogging the comments and, you assumed, instead opted to settle down and attentively observe the events transpiring. Apart from the emote reactions and the rapidly rising number of upvotes on Shou’s comments, you had all become a passive audience to the public ridicule.

Although you couldn’t help feeling slightly disjointed by Shou’s behavior. Below your wicked sense of pride at having him defend you, there was still the whispers of your gut telling you the man was going a little too far, his actions spelling a more sinister meaning than just “having a friend’s back”.

   You've been here for years, Minoru. Surprised you haven't yet noticed how much of a pest everyone sees you as. 

Minoru? You did a double-take, going back to read the username of the guy Shou was arguing with. But he just had a randomly generated number as a pseudonym, same as you and most others, and with just a picture of some anime sneezing girl to distinguish his profile from the rest. No trails or signs of what could Shouto be referencing to.

Nothing but an option you preferred not to consider. But it couldn't be, could it? your friend wouldn’t...

   fucking delete that right now, man.

   this isn't a joke, DELETE THAT. 

Only that the abrasive and desperate reaction told you everything you needed to know. Your heart was beating rapidly in your chest, shock mixing with equal parts horror and amazement you couldn’t even begin to try and disentangle. Because right that second, you were witnessing your friend breaking the forum’s number one rule with a front-row seat to the spectacle. 

And he was doing it all in your name.

   Then maybe think twice before you go out of your way to harass newbies. Or have you had too much time on your hands after being fired, is that it?

It was vague enough not to represent any kind of threat... if not for the context of the site. And yet you all knew the hidden message behind it, the warning for whoever Minoru was to understand Shou knew much more than what he was letting on. That he could expose much more than he was currently alluding to. 

   y are u even doing this, shou? y do u care wtf happens to this noobslut anyways?

Shou's reply took barely a moment to appear, lighting up your screen and, despite the slightly morbid nature of his protection, coaxing out a smile to adorn your lips. It was like a balm being applied to your worries, quieting down most of your incipient concerns in favor of rejoicing. 

   They're a friend. 

For fuck’s sake, you even screenshotted that for posterity. Somehow, him acknowledging the new bond you two had openly felt like a milestone. 

When a mod came in to archive the post and give everyone involved a stern warning later on, you were already way past your previous doubtful sentiments. 

Instead, the last thing you did before going to sleep that day was to open up your private conversation with Shou and send a quick yet heartfelt message of gratitude his way. 

Months prior, you wouldn’t have ever thought you’d be thanking anyone for semi doxxing another human being. How rapidly things were changing, though, and all while you got lost in the thrill of mattering.

   Thanks for sticking up for me. It meant a lot, you typed feeling slightly lightheaded, drunk on the idea that anyone would think you worthy of having your back.

You thought Shou went offline after dishing out his not so thinly veiled threats, but somehow he was back again in an instant, the sound of notifications going off shaking any remnants of your exhaustion.  

   Anything for you, [Y/N]. 

You were so tired, it didn't occur to you that you hadn't yet shared your real name with your friend either.

That night, for once, you fell asleep with a twinkle in your eye and the image of Shou's multicolored locks dancing against your eyelids. Imagining, ever so briefly, your fingers trailing down the back of a neck you now had memorized from analyzing his profile picture. 

And, while you slept with your phone clutched to your side, you also failed to notice the peculiar sound of your own camera going off, the soft glow from the red light beside your lense bathing your features in its subtle illumination, flickering against your eyelashes and the lingering grin on your curved lips. 

You truly looked angelic like that. 

Suffice it to say, Minoru never bothered you again after that day. In fact, his name disappeared from the site not too soon after. 

。。。。。                                                   

    But now, to continue the grueling task of giving a context for your inevitable end, it is necessary to jump a month further into the future, barely a week from the excruciating present. 

Because it was then that the last strike finished nailing the coffin of your proverbial undoing, burying you under the weight of your own ignorance.

You got your notice in the mail on the Day of Announcements, an inconspicuous letter lacking any further distinction beyond a scarlet government seal emblazoned across its front. But even before you opened and read the message, you already knew of its contents—easily recognizing the image before you from several of the varied posts you had seen floating around on the forums lately.

   Purge Notice!!! Help needed Urgently. 

   Just got my letter. Do I stay hidden or fight back? [Open poll]

   Third time getting mine. AMA about my methods. 

The range of how you had seen other users reacting to their own selections was diverse, with some of them being more experienced while others, such as you, had just gotten their first letter ever. If things played out differently for you, then you were sure you would've been another one of the numerous panicked voices, awkwardly trying to maneuver their way out of their new situation.

And maybe, then, your odds wouldn't have been so completely fucked from the start. 

As it stood, as soon as you laid eyes on the notice, the first thing you thought of was how quickly you could boot up your computer and open the forum’s private messages. Because, for the first time in forever, you were overwhelmed by the feeling of someone else being there for you. 

Shou was your friend, had earned that spot fair and square after months of listening to you venting and sharing deep discussions; faster than you could even realize it, and so it was only natural for you to seek his help once the news of your selection for the new yearly Purge reached you. 

He had even threatened another user for your sake, for fuck’s sake. So, really, what harm could come out of relying on someone you were sure was trustworthy?

Maybe it was too late by that point for you to snap out of it, but it was almost amusing seeing you being so easily deceived. 

Just another reason why you needed him, certainly.

 。。。。。

    Already told you I'd have your back, had been his immediate reply barely an instant after you attached a candid photo of your hand holding up the envelope. Whatever you need, I’m here.

His lack of hesitation was palpable through your screen, heart hammering in your chest as you were faced with a kindness you had thought yourself undeserving of not long ago. 

As soon as you closed your mailbox, you had immediately raced to send him the message, completely foregoing telling any of your other friends or family members when you doubted they would even understand you in the first place. Shou had been right when he told you people just didn’t want to see the truth, even if it slapped them right in the face, leaving dark imprints in the shape of their narrow mindedness.

But he was there, he was letting you know as much, in his own words. And for what felt like the hundredth time in the past few months, you felt incredibly lucky to have stumbled upon the Forums in the first place, to have traced whatever fortunate path had led you to find him—the one person able to distinguish you in a world you always thought you blended straight into. 

   Thank you, Shou, for everything. And at that moment, you really had been truthful, so much so that there were tears prickling at your eyes, an overwhelming feeling of gratitude drowning you with its intensity.

Indeed, your final mistake had been your desperate need for acceptance. A need that had, in the end, cost you everything.

   You can call me Shouto now. No use for nicknames anymore.

Amidst the chaos of your life possibly crashing down all around you, somehow his revelation put a trembling smile back in your face. 

   Then allow me to repeat: thank you, Shouto. 

   Np, Newbie. Told you I'd help you level up, didn't I? 

His teasing managed to garner a small stuttering laugh out of you despite the dreadfulness of your situation. 

But you couldn’t help it. Somehow, every reply Shouto sent you only served to wrap the illusion of safety tighter around you. So tight in fact, that you should’ve started worrying about suffocating. 

。。。。。

   On the other side of the screen, the man with the multicolored hair couldn’t help but keep staring at the picture you had sent him earlier. 

He was transfixed, eyes almost unblinking as they refused to separate from the image. The way your fingers tentatively held the letter up for the picture was simply adorable to him. Beautifully naive. 

It wasn't like he hadn't seen your face before, like he hadn't already memorized the texture of your skin and the everlasting trace of a frown always threatening to dampen your mood. He read your expressions like poetry, every mole and scar furthering the securing of his interest. 

But this was the first picture you had actually chosen to send him out of your own volition, the final symbol of a trust he had worked so tirelessly to earn. Used to catching prey as he was, the man wasn’t entirely sure when you had turned from a game into a priority, from a priority into the only thing he could even make himself care for.

And it didn’t help that it was his letter you were holding, too. His formal declaration of pursuit. 

With time, Shouto was sure you would find it in yourself to appreciate the beauty of such irony. 

But, for now, what he really needed to do was buy some tea. Couldn’t have your own stubbornness ruining your first encounter, could he?

。。。。。

   In the coming weeks, your friend aided you and even coached you as you jointly planned for the horrific holiday, not only suggesting ideas but tracing the safety measures needed for them to succeed. You really had no reason to doubt him by that point.

That evening, after you finished letting Shouto know you were back from work, you made sure to pack all of your supplies into an inconspicuous bag you had acquired for the occasion. Whoever your Yandere was, it was best to not give any hints of your new acquisitions, just in case they were already stalking your movements. 

Shouto had helped you devise the list, mentoring you in your selection of weapons as well as self-defense arsenal—what brands of pepper spray to get, which ammunitions were most efficient and reliable, even what kind of clothing was the least troublesome if the need to escape ever arose. If you had been sure he knew his craft before, now you were surprised at just how vast his wisdom genuinely was. 

After the last few finishing touches of preparations, you were already on your way to the direction you had both agreed on (supplied by him, approved by you). There were several hours until the start of the Purge still, but the adrenaline swimming through your bloodstream was already considerable. 

Shouto had suggested you visited him for the Holiday, quoting how the measures in place for his home made it nothing short of a fortified vault, impossible for any outsiders to break into (and for anyone to break out of, but let's not get ahead of ourselves). 

With that in mind, how could you have refused his offer? Your place was barely an excuse for an apartment, windows that didn't entirely close, and feeble doors that could be easily broken into. Even if you weren't partly driven by the curiosity of meeting your new internet idol turned friend, it would've been foolish to decline. 

So in a few hours, you were sporting a nervous smile on your face as you parked your car in front of the largest apartment complex you had ever encountered. It was luxurious in a way you had only seen staring back at you from a television screen, marble, and gold accents giving you the impression you were about to step into a drama set instead of visiting an online friend. 

Before the surrealism of the entire situation could begin to set in, however, you noticed the young man sitting on the ample stairs of the building. He had an air of effortless elegance, tall and lithe, yet sporting a black turtleneck which hugged his frame and made it clear just how much sheer strength hid behind his movements. 

And he also sported the same peculiarly colored locks you had already memorized from the last few months, the light softly reflecting on them proving to be an even more impressive show when admired live. 

You were dazzled for an instant, wondering if, somehow, this entire thing was a prank and the Shou from the forums had just schemed his way into making a fool out of you in front of a handsome stranger. Way too convoluted, yet entirely too plausible to your bewildered self. 

Until the man lifted his eyes—as beautifully dual-toned as his hair, and catching sight of you standing just beside your recently parked vehicle. 

"Y/N," he was sharply climbing to his feet as he called out your name, the shy hint of a smile in his lip contradicting the monotone cadence of his tone. "Good to finally meet you."

You had first been under the impression that the Shou you knew was cold, the way he interacted with others on the site reminding you of an emotionless robot at times, but the man addressing you seemed like he was ripped straight out of a stereotypical rom-com. 

Maybe he'd be the aloof, tormented heir? Which, in your fantasy drama land, would make you the nearly illiterate and poor love interest. Your feelings of inadequacy only grew at the comparison.

Almost cute, how that had been one of your greatest worries once upon a time. How foolishly eager you were to be liked back then.

"Shouto." The name still felt somewhat strange on your lips, even after he had insisted you started calling him that. "It's good to meet you, too."

He was by your side in an instant, taking your bags from you swiftly and shutting the door to your ride. From this up close, it became considerably harder to disguise your staring. 

Even the scar which covered his left eye, a splash of reddish textured skin, somehow came across like yet another enhancer of his appeal. An underlying harshness which you couldn't help but be intrigued by. 

"Your hair looks even better in person."

And leave it to you to once again find a way to screw first impressions. You were chastising yourself a mere second after the words left your mouth. 

But Shouto only sent you that same hint of a smirk your way, his eyes appearing genuinely pleased at your praise. If he thought you were a weirdo and was regretting ever inviting you to his house, then he was a good enough actor for you to be fooled.

And fooled you he did, but with completely different intentions. 

"You look just like in your pictures," came his serene retort not long after.

Which you assumed was a joke, keeping in mind that the only photo you had ever sent his way had been of the Purge letter you received a few days ago.

Laughing lightly, you tried to ignore the nerves tugging at your chest before catching up with him on the steps of the building. 

As you giddily barged straight into the open jaws of the beast, it once again struck Shouto how utterly unsuspecting you were. How you trusted him so wholeheartedly.

He couldn't wait to see it all come crashing down.

。。。。。

   Inside his honest to god penthouse, your previous feeling of insufficiency only became more severe. 

The interiors were decorated sparingly, albeit fashionably. Filled with different muted shades and being unexpectedly traditional in the way they were designed. It was a stunning abode, even if you couldn't help but mentally point out how utterly unlived in it appeared.

There was not a single cup, shoe, or book out of place, everything perfectly polished and organized to the point that you felt hesitance as your sock-covered feet continued making their way through the place.

"Make yourself at home," Shouto told you most matter-of-factly. If you weren't so sure of his intentions by now, perhaps you would've thought he was being sarcastic. 

Without any of your belongings to distract yourself with, you instead gravitated towards what you could see of the kitchen through one of the sliding doors. 

It was very modern despite the rest of the aesthetic the penthouse sported, shiny stainless steel and spotless dark countertops. It should've looked out of place when paired with the carpeted floors, wooden furniture, and sparse pieces of classical Japanese art…

Yet somehow, it strangely fits. Just like his owner, you supposed, thinking back to the oddities that amounted to his unique brand of appeal.

And you really needed to stop thinking of your friend like that. 

When you heard the door to the apartment being audibly locked with a resounding click, you instantly stopped your fingers grazing the smooth countertops. Your instincts flared up with worry for a moment, right before you forcefully willed yourself to calm down.  

After reminding yourself of the true reason why you were there, the exhale you released next was one of clear relief. 

"Want something to drink?" Shouto appeared in your line of sight again, hands buried in the pockets of his pants and looking like the picture of composure. 

You felt embarrassed once again, knowing he had given you a free pass to roam but still somewhat self-conscious about intruding on his space. 

"You don't need to make me anything. I'm fine." Your timbre was apologetic, not used to slipping into the role of a guest just yet. 

He seemed strangely dissatisfied with your answer, closing some of the distance between you with a presence that had you almost flinching back for a second. 

There was an intensity in his gaze, something which you could not quite yet place. 

"But I want to be a good host. So let me." He appeared very serious about it, too, with his face growing stern as his peculiar eyes bore into yours. 

Not wanting to cause further distress, you imagined relenting would be the best course of action. 

It was like you were molded to be the perfect Darling, so wonderfully meek and gullible.

"Okay then. Water is fine."

Yet Shouto shook his head, still somewhat dissatisfied with your answer. 

"Tea it is." His phrasing allowed little space for argument. "I know you mentioned liking a few brands before, so I took the liberty of stocking up on them."

A surprising burst of laughter broke through your anxious feelings then, drawing Shouto's eyes again from the particular cabinet they had drifted to as he mentioned the beverages. 

He looked at you puzzled, an unasked question written all over his otherwise blank expression, and so you decided to reply from the surge of unexpected amusement you were experiencing. 

"It's only a night, Shou," you didn't even realize you had slipped back into his nickname, too entertained by how much he had apparently overdone his hospitality. "There really wasn't any need for you to go buy my favorite teas."

His eyes blinked quite slowly your way, his expression back to his vacant mask before a smile reappeared.

"I wanted you to feel welcomed," he supplied as he approached the cabinet he was eyeing before, dedicating himself to searching for whatever kind of flavor of tea he had in mind. 

In response, you just shrugged your shoulders with another chuckle. 

"And I didn't get you anything. You're making me feel even more out of place."

"Nonsense," he cut you off in that deadpan way of his, hands rummaging through the most ridiculously vast tea collection you had ever seen. And then he added, decidedly quieter, "today is supposed to be about you, after all."

Too bad you didn't pick up on it. 

When he ushered you back to the salon with barely a wave next, pointing at one of the cushions arranged around the short-legged table, you decided to follow his suggestion and wait there while he finished brewing the drinks. By now, you understood the futility of offering any kind of help when he was still so intent on properly welcoming you. 

So, curious as you were, your eyes continued to inspect each and every inch of the apartment, drinking up all the pieces of info you could observe, that you didn't even think of the potential dangers of letting a stranger fix you a cup while you weren't looking.

Unbeknownst to the other, you were both actively counting down the seconds until the Purge started, minds lost to your own inner turmoils from opposite sides of the suite. 

And for entirely different reasons, you were both filled with anticipation.    

。。。。。

   Meanwhile, finally back in the present after retracing the steps that guided you there, it was becoming increasingly hard to compartmentalize the chaos brewing inside you.

Shouto’s lips were the personification of hunger against yours, an inescapable gluttony to mark and consume every single inch of you he could encompass. 

After a hint of understanding returned to your body post-orgasm, your vision and the sensations you endured were becoming disturbingly vivid. It was impossible to conceive anything beyond his hands ridding you of your flimsy camisole, palms cold in comparison to the heat you felt, splaying against your sides and slowly making their way up the sensitive mounds of your chest.

“All mine, baby.” You barely registered his teeth nipping at your bottom lip until a shock of pain snapped you out of your trance.

He bit you, and quite harshly too, but when you tried to instinctually pull back his response was to hold you even tighter. Before you could attempt to voice your complaints, his tongue was darting out to clean up the droplets of blood he spilled. 

“Out of all the Darlings I’ve played with, you’re the only one I’ve ever even considered keeping, you know?”

And now that had you freezing, even amidst the cloud of desire still muddling your cognizance. His arms pressed you closer still, forcing you to bury your face against his chest, completely unphased by the bloody mess your mouth had morphed into.  

Had he tricked others before then? Was that the reason why he was even on the Forums in the first place? 

You wanted to ask him what he meant, wanted to demand explanations for a phrase that had dread closing around your neck like a noose. But whatever he slipped into your drink to keep you so awfully responsive and pliable, also appeared to make forming any complex sentences incredibly hard…

Shou, ever the receptive one, caught onto your change in demeanor rather aptly. His face nuzzled your hair softly, humming a calming melody as if you were a scared child who could be so easily reassured. Meanwhile, his hands hadn’t abandoned your breasts, still tenderly kneading them with a touch bordering on worship.

“But I’m glad you weren’t my first, baby. Means I could be all ready for when we met.” He rocked you both as he rested his back further on the sofa, opening his legs wider below you and forcing you to settle closer to his clothed groin with a whimper. 

Your arms reached out to grasp his shoulders while you tried to stabilize yourself, the strain of his erection resting snuggly against your still sensitive slit. 

"Helped me to know when to pull back," he kept confessing, purposefully thrusting into you while he kept lovingly massaging your chest, fingers twisting your hardened peaks to coax a new kind of mewl to be uttered against his skin. "Wouldn't want you to break now that I've finally found you."

The fact that your bodies seemed to fit so perfectly, even in your impaired state, was not an irony lost on you. 

Abruptly, Shouto stopped fondling your breasts in order to maneuver your face again, both of your stares meeting in a vehement standoff before he continued. 

“I’ll make this as close to perfection as I can, I promise you.” And you got a direct view of the vulnerability in his uniquely colored eyes, the nature of his words clearly heartfelt despite the atrocities they alluded to. 

As you heard him drag his zipper down, the hand clutching your jaw trembling in anticipation, you couldn’t help the new wave of warmth spreading through your body, negating all the fear and anxiousness warring inside you in order to shamefully expose your baser desires.

Now that whatever had been clouding your  judgment was pulling back slightly, your thought process had begun to snap back into place, overflowing you with a terrible sense of shame at your own reactions.

He gave you something earlier with your drink, you were sure of it, and yet you couldn’t help but still be horrified at just how much you were enjoying it. Once you felt the flushed head of his cock placidly rubbing against your thigh, the sounds leaving your mouth weren’t ones of complaint, peril or dissent.

Quite the contrary, actually, and it only made Shouto grow bolder.

As the hand clutching your face grew tenser, gripping you with force before tugging harshly, you got the hint. Now painfully following his lead, it wasn't long before the previous pressure against your legs was now resting directly against your cunt. 

The pre-cum already gathered on him mixed in with your still oozing arousal, smearing the span of your outer lips as he lightly teased you one last time. 

You were so mortified by that point, that if he had offered to end your embarrassment right then and there with one of the several weapons you knew he kept, you would’ve been very inclined to accept. 

“... I didn’t even think there was such a thing as 'The One' before, actually.” You hadn’t even realized the man was still talking, ardent whispers getting lost on the intensity of the situation. 

His eyes were searching your face, a satisfied twinkle lighting them up as soon as you returned his stare of your very own volition. Perturbed, you wondered if his delusion made him see anything beyond a twisted mix of lust and fear reflected back at him. 

“But I now know just how wrong I was, Y/N.” So sure of himself, tone back to the stern cadence you previously associated with him for a moment, gripped by a gravity befitting of his obsession. “Indeed, I think you were always meant to be my darling… don't you agree?”

To your credit, you did struggle to speak up, to gain back the control over a body which had stopped listening long ago. Too bad you only managed a single pitiful word out.

“Shouto…”

But before you could even fathom attempting a better response, he was breaching into you, sheathing himself with an ease you wished you could overlook, turning your voice from an anguished plea into outrageously labored moans. 

You had once thought Shou had been interested in you because he somehow perceived you as anything but pathetic, but you were beginning to think it had been your weakness which drew him in all along. 

So deliciously frail, that even a predator like him had been driven with an urgent need to protect you. To break you down, just so he could be the one to build you back together.

As he started fucking you with shallow thrusts, hips bucking up from the sofa while he tenderly guided you until your body was mimicked his motion on its own, you couldn’t help but be the most disturbed at his oddly affectionate ways. 

As awful as it sounded, now that your mind had awakened from its stupor all you wanted was for him to bend you over and abuse you, manhandle you and mistreat you in a way which unequivocally screamed assault. You wanted bruises painting your skin, proof that you hadn’t just willingly given up and facilitated your own ruin. 

He was humiliating you despite the pretty words he decided to disguise it as—showing you how easily he could own you and even make you enjoy it, drug-addled drink or not. 

But as his mouth latched around one of your hardened nipples, sucking generously until his name was once again fast on your tongue, you also couldn’t deny the crystal clear responses you were giving.

You could attempt to lie to yourself later, could swear it was all a delusion born out of the deranged man's mind, but the particular brand of your screams was unmistakable.

When your own hand reached down to facilitate your release, you knew you were already acting beyond what you could've previously attributed to the drugs. Toying with your bundle of nerves, you rested your forehead against Shouto's shoulders, tears from the pleasure mixing in with the subjacent agony of your guilt. 

Why did it have to feel so good? And how far did the drugs truly affect you? Or had they just peeled back your inhibitions perhaps, baring you until all you had were dark desires and no self-control to contain them. 

You still tasted blood inside your mouth when your walls started clenching around his cock, the coppery flavor entirely too vivid on your tongue. Hearing his own choked groans gasping against your chest, you felt his mouth abandoning your bud with a pop before his kisses were trailing a path back up—eager in their search of your face, your lips. 

You were still cumming by the time a lascivious kiss connected you two again, unwinding in his grasp until his hands were the only thing keeping you whole. 

“Even if I wasn't taught how,” he began promising while his rhythm grew frantic, barely resisting the allure of your core fluttering around him. “I promise I’ll love you, Y/N. Love you so good, you won’t ever want to leave when the next Purge comes.” He was getting increasingly excited by his own words, imagining a future where you did not need the aid of a little cup of tea to eagerly kiss back. “I’ll fuck you every day, fill you up and show you just how much I care. How much you matter.”

Faced with his degenerate promises, all you could do was gasp out his name one last time, perhaps seeking to express your reticence, perhaps oddly excited by the image he was painting. 

You indulged him in the pitiful sound of your whimpers molding around its syllables, and it wasn’t long before you were coaxing him to join you with an orgasm of his own.

He actually came inside, you recognized inwardly after the aftershocks of enjoyment now quieted down to a lull, a new type of dread quickly following the realization. His cum was still shooting in hot ropes, stuffing you to the brim with the intent and purpose of a man bent on marking you, owning you.

But Shouto was so loving as he kissed you time and time again, painfully reminding you of just how nice he could be for you, how gentle and attentive. It made the lines between your tormentor and a traditional lover blur even further, the confusion clouding your sense not merely born out of narcotics any longer. 

You had been so preoccupied with a monster outside your house once. A creature ripped from the kind of movies that were ripe with cheap scares and considerably cheaper thrills. 

But monsters never were like that in real life, were they? As the man continued to cradle you in his arms like the most vulnerable of creatures, you were suddenly struck by how glaringly obvious things should’ve been from the beginning. 

Because your Yandere’s obsession had not come with claws and a row of sharp teeth. No, it came instead with a suit of deception to hug its frame, the bait of acceptance, and the promise of a reliable ear to comfortably listen. It arrived with whispers that assured you that you were not alone, that it was not you who was flawed, but the world for not welcoming you. 

It dangled everything your little heart desired, so by the time you were reaching out, you were simply too distracted to notice the dangers of the abyss you were throwing yourself at.

Luckily for you, Shouto had made such a void his home. And for however long it took you to consider the darkness as your own, his was a kind of hospitality that no amount of your struggles could ever hope to wear down. 

And if the worst came to pass, if you kept stubbornly refusing and fighting despite your odds? Well…

   He could always brew you another cup of tea.

-------

Well, I can finally rest now 💀

This monster of a one-shot took me a lot longer than expected, so I ended up being a lil later to the collab that I would’ve liked. Either way, I’d really appreciate hearing any feedback or opinions on either the fic or art (or both?)... I swear that’s what keeps me motivated ;___; 

So fr, thanks to everyone who takes the time to let me know your takes! y’all are the bests of the best 🖤 And speaking of bests of best, special thanks and gratitude to the actual angels who helped and gave me feedback for both the art and/or fic @reinawritesbnha , @drxwsyni​, @wootato, @snappysnapo and @coyambition. Don’t catch me seeing y’all drop your crowns bc it’s on sight  😠 👑

[pretty-pink-seaslug]

crystalviolin321 -> pretty-pink-seaslug (I BEEN USING CRYSTALVIOLIN FOR TOO DAMN LONG!!)

art blog @pretty-groovy-seaslug

main/introduction + dni post it's party time

Do not mint my shit as NFTs 👹

Super Gals pic from wallpaper cave until I can make an edit for this post

Hi welcome to my humble abode <33

Info abt me:

• I’m Slug! (not my irl name, obvi) I used to go by CV but I am SO tired of that username yall dont even know— (also I named my bww main oc Crystal so now there's finally a separation between us) You can call me Slug, Kiki, or any nice nickname really (maybe even a term of endearment??? 😳)

• My fandoms are: Balan Wonderworld, NiGHTS series, Sonic The Hedgehog, Sugar Sugar Rune (not sure if it has a fandom but I am OBSESSED with it's world building and concepts, literally the job in my BWW au is inspired by it!!) Angel Hare, No Straight Roads, and Jet Set Radio, this will absoluetly be updated as soon as I get and finish BRC.

• I’m a Biromantic Asexual! Recently have been questioning if I might be queerplatonic,,, (I think I am tbh)

• I am of the legal age in America, I’m currently 19! My birthday is March 2nd (Pisces gang 😎♓️)

• I am black as hell (Dad told me I’m Part West Indian aka Jamaican and mom told me I’m also part Native American, Blackfoot to be specific, tho I don’t really know for certain because I never got a heritage test)

• I am diagnosed with Depression and ADHD, got those diagnoses through my IEP back in like 6th grade I think (I need to hit up a psychiatrist ASAP because there’s like a 98% chance I have autism tbh and I FOR SURE need antidepressants—)

• I am female, cis and an all original pretty girl ☆ヾ(-∀・)*+☆

• You can reply to my vent posts so long as you're nice and understanding!

• I used to say I was specifically into Gyaru fashion but that’s not the case anymore and hasn’t been for a long, long time— I love fashion as a whole! A fashionista if you will B) I’m mainly into Gyaru fashion but I also like Y2K (let's be honest lol Y2K and Gyaru are making out in the broom closet), Decora, McBling, been kinda digging Emo lately or Vamp whatever it’s called— aaand yeah just, fashion ✨

• I've literally had this blog since I was like 11, do not go too far into my posts because, as anyone does, there are posts I deeply regret </3 (now whether I apologize for them or not is a different story)

• I have a very strange taste in music compared to other girlies by the looks of it— I love Breakcore, Lolicore, Raggacore, DnB, Hyperpop (AS LONG AS IT HAS GOOD VOCALS, I RARELY HAVE HEARD A HYPERPOP SONG WHERE THE VOCALS WERENT STRAIGHT CHEEKS.) Trap, JERSEYYY <33333, Future Funk, French House, and others I can't think of off the top of my head rn. Pretty pink audiophiliac! <3

***

Tag directory:

#lol ignore me - Basically my misc tag, like my random shit and memes n stuff

#matc and #Maki and The Creeps - A lil original franchise kinda thing I have going on, going thru an overhaul so stay tuned!!

#my art & #my artwork - I am also an artist because it’s one of my many hobbies ✨ BUT I have an art blog! I only post my art up there from now on!! Go there if you like my art and don’t want random reblogs clogging your dash -> @pretty-groovy-seaslug

#my meme & #my memes - For when I make something I find quite humorous

#And I ALWAYS respond - For when I get an ask and I answer it, I should’ve made this tag YEARS ago but it was just created in 2023—

#Wishlist - Things I would either buy if I had the money or things I'll buy eventually, this tag is usually consisting of jewelry or nice knickknacks or pretty clothes and general fashion things

#Art I like - exactly what it sounds like, art that isn't mine that I like! Also has the derivitaves; #writing I like & #animation I like

#Aesthetica - things I reblog for the ✬Aesthetic✬, my blog usually doesn't follow the aesthetic tho so really just aesthetics I happen to like lol

#Doration resources - was meant to say 'decoration resources' but I typed it wrong and just kept using it for easier searching, this tag contains Dividers, Pretty images you could put on blog posts or edit (usually anime pics), Backgrounds, Favicons, etc. in general this is to catalog web graphics

#Madre AU - my Balan Wonderworld AU! This tag contains all things related to it, also check out BWW au and BWW oc

+++

DNI (Do Not Interact) (dont worry these are pretty general) :

➸ You’re a Misogynist

➸ You’re a Misandrist

➸ You write and/or reblog rape (no trauma or anything just personal preference, I'm sure you understand <3)

➸ You wish to have sexual interactions (This is self explanatory.)

➸ You unironically hate a certain group of people because they’re not like you, just go take adderall and breathe air, get a job or smth

➸ You’re into cringe culture (again this is self explanatory.)

➸ You send death threats to people or tell them to “kys” unironically

➸ any type of phobic (Acephobic, transphobic, homophobic, biphobic, etc etc)

➸ A trump supporter or Nazi/Neonazi or whatever y’all are using now idk

➸ A Terf or whatever y’all use to identify yourselves

➸ A Fujoshi/Fudanshi (freak.)

➸ a pedo or a pedophilic defender, bitch you are not Nicki Minaj

➸ A Kpop stan (not sure if it's much of a thing like it used to be back in the terrible twitter days but just incase!)

➸ in general part of stan culture (A Kpop stan like mentioned above, a Dream stan, a Nicki stan, etc etc)

➸ ddlg/mdlb/cgl(re)/(nsfw)agere or whatever tf y’all are calling yourselves, you're weird.

➸ you’re proship/anti-anti or whatever tf y’all call yourselves idk just fuck off or smth

➸ Zoophiles (Self explanatory!)

➸ You mint shit that isn’t yours as NFTs/support NFTs

➸ You're one of those Ai art supporters/techbros

I can also just block you because I want to

°°° other than that, have fun in my pretty little blog! great to have you <3

[stupidusernamepolicy]

Tagged by @shinkimiope thank u <333

1. Why did you choose your url?

I've had it since my deviantart days. I was getting frustrated that all of my ideas for usernames were already taken (I was starting to think the site was bugged lol) so in a fit of anger I typed it just because. It ended up not being taken so I just used it lol

2. Any side blogs?

I have an art sideblog @slavhew because i didn't want to terminally bore people with posting tons of memes in between art

an old gravity falls sideblog I don't use, it's more like an archive now.

Two defunct really old blogs that I should delete but don't want to

A hidden side for "riskier" reblogs which means anything I deem too edgy or explicit for my main lol

3. How long have you been on tumblr?

Joined at the tail end of 2015 to enjoy the Undertale fandom at the time

4. Do you have a queue tag?

I do, it's #q

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

I wanted to have fun online again and my old accounts were full of bad memories. I also wanted to have a more direct source for fan content other than just reposts

6. Why did you choose your icon?

I drew it on my phone as a meme for a friend and ended up having it for too long to change it lol. Pyke says you're (I'm) a heretic.

7. Why did you choose your header?

I like fires I thought it was pretty

8. What’s your post with the most notes?

It's probably the meme I made making fun of my instrument when I was frustrated that it couldn't play low tones jdjfmdmf. It's got a thousand-somethign notes now

9. How many mutuals do you have?

Uuu I really don't keep track. Mostly cause I've had everyone around for a long time and we more often than not passively follow eachother djjcjdx

10. How many followers do you have?

661

11. How many people do you follow?

1215

12. Have you ever made a shitpost?

Many times but rarely takes off. My art shitpost on side are a bit more popular jsbfjdf.

13. How much do you use tumblr every day?

My usage rises proportionally to how much I'm procrastinating and how shit i feel. Its a good distraction and to mitigate that I usually put stuff into queue so people don't get a barrage of posts otherwise I'd consistently be hitting post limit

14. Did you have a fight/ argument with other blog once? Who won?

Every so often I feel like causing problems on purpose. Most arguments dont really have a conclusion. One radfem insisting women can't be evil that deactivated by the end of it, someone trying to mobilize the aro community to stop "problematic content" (it was peppered with 'save the children' and stupid arguments. They said "free blocklist in notes" then hid my reply from them because I called them out on their homophobic myopic arguments). Misc other stuff thru the years. C'est la vie.

15. How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

We are all tired. We all have actual lives and use social media as an escape. If I catch you reblogging more than one of those I'm straight up going to unfollow, I will not have a wall of text guilt tripping me when I can't do anything to help in the first place. Fuck you.

16. Do you like tag games?

I do but I'm forgetful sometimes and it gets buried in my drafts :[

17. Do you like ask games?

I do but due to the nature of my blog even when I reblog them I don't really get any bdbgnnd

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

I know for a fact that at least one of them is Tumblr famous in two fandom circles. It's still kinda funny that they follow me on not one but two blogs even after we don't really share those fandoms and I enjoy seeing them on my dash :)

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

I don't do crushes but I am very good friends with a few people outside of Tumblr too and I think it shows from how often I tag them ajndkxmckc.

20. Tags?

@lemonykleonella @its-me-ej @mingominnie @mediasploshion @shroomberton and whoever sees it and wants to feel free to say I tagged you, nobody will know >:)

[gryfon-spanish-werewolf]

About the frozen fandom ask :

🎨, ✍️, and 👗

P.s remember to get enough sleep~

@like-redhead-probably I got enough sleep I swear ;-; actually I overslept TBH

🎨- Favorite fanart(s)/ artist(s)?

I’m gonna limit my answers to those who are currently active in the fandom otherwise we will be here all day xD. Anyone who has seen my tags knows this  to be true. My favorite fan artists are:

@giuliaciulia89 - because asdfghjklssh have you SEEN her line art?? And her expressions?? And how she does shading and color (with markers!! Traditional Art YO!!) literally is just... takes my breath away. Her recent Hogwarts Elsanna commission was absolutely delightful, but I am always delighted to see her original content as well such as her 101 Dalmatians au and her All For One And All For Love Three Musketeers au. It has so many mysteries, I’m very intrigued. Watching her process is very relaxing as well, like *sketch, sketch, sketch* and suddenly WHOA, there’s like, a whole concept outlines in no time at all. Incredible

@zero-kiba - because while much more active on Deviantart, I am ALWAYS extremely gay for Copper! That’s been going on 5 WHOLE YEARS Y’ALL! I stayed up until the sun started creeping through my windows catching up on every single page that I’d missed out after about 2017 when I started working full time. Zero-kiba’s work is BOMBASTICALLY expressive and really hits that mark between UTTERLY badass and heart-meltingly soft. Also do yourselves a favor and read their other works too! Tip of the Iceberg is Copper characters in a comedy setting, The Realm is 65 pounds of concentrated whoop-ass, and The Whole Shebang?? Gay has hell. Really gay. I cannot stress that enough (also it’s a little self plug - I help make that one alongside Zero-Kiba, daughterofhel and giuliaciulia89)

@ice-bjorn - because like.... do I even need to....expand?? Y’all have seen my tags. Ice-bjorn’s got the kind of content that just pulls you up short. Doing something? Concentrating? Not anymore you’re not! Ice-bjorn posted new art and you’re gonna FEEL ABOUT IT for the current conceivable future! Unbelievably emotive, you can see all the hard work that goes into each piece (including writing!!). I’ve gone OFF in my tags so many times about their stuff and I aLWAYS anticipate doing it again XD I can’t possibly pick a favorite piece, but this one gives me the warm fuzzies (Edit: although I did link another further down)

@jabs-wocks - because they constantly surprise me. One day ADORABLE! Next day ANGSTY. Next time? New style?? New type of coloring?? Always has a great sense of humor and unique ideas. Also, such an enabler xD Always makes me want to make something in turn <3 Like, remember when I went OFF with that angsty piece of Anna drowning after the dam collapses? Or when I nearly ditched my (already very long) project to idea bomb on about their Skadi!Elsa piece? Yeah, I love their work very much

 @gracepago0314 - because I’m a long time fan from when they had a different username! Great style, strong short comics, and WOW have they come a long way! They already had such a strong aesthetic, but seeing their work at the top of 2020 was such a treat because it was SUCH a change! I loved seeing what I recognized about their unique style and getting to see all the ways they’ve improved and expanded! Also that reincarnation au goes straight for the heart ;-;

✍️- Favorite fanfic(s)/ author(s)?

Limiting my answer to the same for the same reasons. Many of my favorite authors are no longer active, but my heart is very big, and I am always making room for new stories and writers to love!

@fruipit - because every time I get an email from ao3 that they’ve updated I go ballistic. Every story I have ever read (or reread... many times) by them is just SO INCREDIBLE. Their writing makes me make bad decisions: like fighting sleep to make it through one last chapter xD Their work makes me ask questions, their stories flows like a needle and thread, their diction makes me believe. I have nothing but the highest praise for Fruipit’s work, they’ve been writing for years and continue to pick at that gentle thing called wonder. Choosing a favorite work of theirs is GENUINELY DIFFICULT, but I love Risky Business, Koselig, and When Spring Comes very much. Tiny Hearts is a riot tho xD Oh wait and Who Dares Wins! .....Look just... go read Fruipit, you won’t regret it xD

@arendellesfirstwinter - because after years and years they just bang out one badass story after another. Their most recent (and with the dawn, what comes then?) has reduced me to tears twice. No. Three times, I reread a chapter. Their writing is exceptionally raw and pointed, but they are never angsty for angst sake. Their prose has the kind of weight one gets from having a huge amount of intent and care for what they create, and the characters they foster along the way <3

@daughterofhel - because I enjoy the simple pleasures of comedy. Literally just makes me laugh. Her dialogue SLAPS. Her world building is effortless (well, it’s not, she works very hard but it FEELS effortless, which is quite the trick xD). Her stories just WORK, her scenes are so alive and colorful and I adore how she makes characters interact even under the most RIDICULOUS prompts xD Exceptionally creative and silly, I guarantee she will surprise you for the better

@themountainsays - because every story idea is completely fascinating. Even if it’s not like, written yet? Just idea bombing or musing? Totally cool, I love reading them because you can feel the excitement behind them. Or the spite xD. Ara’s writing is also almost lyrical, it’s lovely to read, and honestly? Read out loud too! I’m a huge fan of spoken poetry/spoken stories and Ara’s always gives me that vibe. I’m behind (orz) on Creatures of the Arctic, but it’s SO FUN, I’m always keen on updates :D

@theseerasures - because I adore their frohana stuff. So freaking much. Kristanna + Icebros with so much tenderness that I just stare at my screen and go “holy hell someone MADE that.” Reading their work is like... being given a soft blanket to wrap yourself in, receiving a mug of hot chocolate, and then being told “Okay, now here’s a story that’s going to make you feel feelings really hard,” and you kind of nod back like, “Okay, seems fair.” Idk man they just get me real good, every time. For years.

👗- Favorite outfit? One you’d like to see?

Picking a favorite is hard! But please for the love of god: bring Anna’s military-esque jacket/dress to the silver screen. Holy hell. I’m such a sucker for how absolutely DASHING Elsa and Anna look in masculine/military dress. @giuliaciulia89 and @ice-bjorn both here and here get me xD But I also love their highly feminine outfits? Anna’s coronation dress in F1 is a fav and of course Elsa’s ice-dress is iconic, but my absolute favorites? I don’t know, they’re all so beautiful...

Oh! You know what else I’d want? Casual wear. They’re always dressed up for adventure! Or a fancy party! Let the crew relax more! More day-to-day, more cozy pjs! Kristoff in a big oversized shirt, Elsa in Fifth-Spirit inspired sleepwear, Anna in clothes made by their new Northudran family - complete with little hexagons but like, lined with soft reindeer fur <3. I’d love to see them when the world isn’t falling down around their ears, for more than 5 minutes, please ;-;

Thanks again for asking!! I know this is a few days late but I hope my jabbering made up for it ^_^

[nomadicbeard]

Hi! I saw on one of your posts you said that you used to be a stucky shipper. I actually started off as a stony shipper but then absolutely fell in love with stucky but I like both . I was just wondering what made you "jump ship" on stucky lol. Sorry if this comes across as annoying or anything im just curious!

Hey! As you can see a couple of people have asked me this over the last couple of weeks and I’m really lazy and haven’t got around to responding yet, but the people deserve an answer so here we go. Before we start a quick disclaimer: I’ll only be talking about the ships themselves, not the communities or any of the discourse surrounding them. This is not a ship-bashing of any kind and please do not take it as such, it’s just my own personal experience surrounding these characters and these relationships. 

 Buckle your seatbelts kids, this is a long one.

I first got into Marvel c. 2015. I’m European so I’d never really watched any marvel movies before that, I watched Age of Ultron on a plane and remember being vaguely aware the Steve/Tony was a thing (what is pretty interesting is that to this day I have no clue where that knowledge came from) but was mostly just excited by the superhero stuff. I then got home and watched The Winter Soldier and fell in love. I love the Winter Soldier, it’s probably still one of my favourite marvel movies (it got kicked out of its top spot by Black Panther last year unfortunately) and to me no other marvel movie could hold a torch to it at the time. So I came onto tumblr, searched up The Winter Soldier and was just inundated with Stucky stuff, as expected. I rolled with it, got invested just from constant exposure (it was also around the height of the Stucky ship) and as far as I was concerned, that was that. I was super into Stucky for almost six months and was pretty much your average shipper, I didn’t understand stevetony, loved Steve Rogers, was close to creating a Stucky sideblog wit some ridiculous pun as my username, I was gone over this ship.

Then one day, I sat down and read the man on the bridge by boopboop on ao3. You’ve almost definitely heard of it, but it was the most popular fic in the Steve/Bucky tag on ao3 at the time (for some reason I had just never got around to reading it until then, it was long and I didn’t have the stamina I have now). It was your pretty standard Stucky fic, Steve gets Bucky back, they have to deal with his trauma which results in Steve and Bucky declaring their long lost love for each other etc. etc. What was different about this fic, was that it was all told from Tony’s point of view, and since Steve and Tony were on the same team at that point, their dynamic was a huge part of the fic. And I found myself falling completely in love with Steve and Tony’s dynamic. I went back to the fic for this post (and god it is a good fic) and pulled up the first couple of chapters and instantly just found so many instances of that dynamic

(grade A stevetony arguing over each other’s safety with a side of flirting from Tony)

(Idk why but the image of Steve and Tony not going to sleep, but rather staying up and brewing coffee together was such a vivid one when I first read this fic, I still remember it to this day. )

(Tony picking Steve flowers while trying to desperately play off that he didn’t aka. Tony caring while trying desperately not to care)

(Everyone knowing that Steve would definitely come to Tony, apart from Tony himself.)

Now obviously, this is a stucky fic and I went into it knowing this, but I found when Steve and Bucky finally got together I felt honestly a bit bored, a bit cheated. I had no idea why at the time. I remember very clearly x-ing out of the fic at the end and feeling really uneasy, I came onto tumblr, went straight back into the Stucky tag and all was well.

When I next went back onto ao3, I started out with a couple of oneshots in the Stucky tag, but for some reason it wasn’t working for me anymore. I remember sitting there, a little bored, not at all invested in this relationship and just missing something. I figured I was probably missing Tony’s presence in the fic and so filtered in Tony Stark’s character tag. I read a few of those and all was well but I realised the same thing was happening as had happened in man on the bridge, the moment that Steve and Bucky got together, the fic lost something for me. Desperate at this point, and a little annoyed at myself I conducted an experiment and went into the Steve/Tony tag on Ao3 and as they say, the rest is history. If you go onto older posts on my main blog there’s a pretty drastic, almost overnight shift c. January 2016. I have to admit, I expected Civil War to be a conversion so I enjoyed stevetony without consequence for five months, while still labelling myself as a Stucky shipper because I expected to be pulled back to Stucky after civil war, the reality was that somehow I came out of civil war shipping stevetony harder than ever before. From there, I spent two years reading my way through the stevetony tag on ao3 and finally set up this blog in 2018, with a really obscure reference as my username and it’s been stevetony til I die ever since.

I just couldn’t read Stucky anymore. That’s what I mean when I say on this blog that stevetony has ruined me for every other ship, because it has. Steve and Tony’s firecracker dynamic pulled me away from what was fast on its way to becoming my favourite ship in 2015, all because they had a bit of banter on the side in a fic. It’s kind of depressing really, the sort of hold that Steve and Tony’s dynamic has over me, 

It’s strange you say you fell in love with Stucky, I fell absolutely out of love with it. I have thought a lot about how I ended up falling into stevetony and why I was so drawn to them instead of Stucky in the first place and I think it all comes down the the story itself. To me, Steve and Bucky’s relationship carries much more weight as a friendship, I still have no doubt that Bucky is one of if not the most important person in Steve’s life, but having that be a lifelong friendship is way more powerful and impactful to me, (especially since what I know I misconstrued to be Steve’s obsession with Bucky is actually Steve’s obsession over the past. I’m not saying Bucky isn’t dear to Steve and he does want to obviously rescue him, but looking back on it there’s more to Steve’s obsession with Bucky than just love, it’s a fear of change and it’s him desperately trying to hold onto a past that’s gone.)

Conversely, I feel like adding a romantic element to Steve and Tony’s relationship enriches the story being told, if you look at something like civil war (either MCU or 616 tbh) in the context of Tony being desperately in love with Steve, it makes a lot more sense, especially with things like The Confession in 616 or the stuff brought up in that strange conversation in the conference room in the MCU. There’s lines from Steve like “I’m home/you gave me a home” or even straight up “he loved you” and his tormented behaviour throughout infinity war and endgame that just really makes you wonder, not to mention lines from others like “you two still gazing into each other’s eyes/sounds like both of you got into bed with the wrong people” and they did have to share a bed at Clint’s farm after all lol. The tragedy of their story is heightened if you look at it through the context of them being absolutely in love with each other, just never having actually got around to telling it to each other’s faces. This tragedy is heavily implied in The Oath/The Confession in 616 when they confess their deepest darkest secrets to the other’s comatose/dead bodies, and apparently it’s always been that they love the other person. Actually you could easily introduce a romantic element by making relatively few changes to the MCU, but that’s a post for another time (I have a long and comprehensive list in my notes app on how little you actually need to change to make that happen, it’s literally the matter of a few lines of dialogue and one major story change at the end of IM3, an interesting thought exercise to say the least).

Finally, there’s a quote that came up on my dash the day I made that fateful venture into the ao3 stevetony tag, “your soulmate isn’t someone who comes peacefully into your life. It is someone who makes you question things, changed your reality, somebody that marks a before and after in your life. It is not the human being everyone idealized, but an ordinary person, who managed to revolutionize your world in a second” to this day, it resonates so strongly with me about stevetony. It’s everything I love about this ship just compressed into a quote. 

So yeah it was basically a bunch of happy coincidences, but thank god it happened. As a writer, stevetony has taught me so much about character and dynamic, stuff that is honestly invaluable. When you have long fics that basically detail the day by day life of Steve and Tony post-civil war in rural Italy and consists of them sleeping, crying and working through their repressed feelings (looking at you @silkspectred ), it is the characters and their unique dynamic that drive the entirety of the story. Steve and Tony, in the hands of a compelling writer, can keep me hooked over a frankly embarrassing number of words. I still have a bit of a special place for Stucky in my heart really, it did start me out in marvel after all and it was one of my first ever ships, but your first love is only so good until you meet your true love, not to get all sappy but stevetony has completely destroyed my ability to ship anything else. I might get a bit flirtatious with some other ships, like sambucky (I still love Bucky, and I love Sam!), or the riverdale ships (beronica and jarchie or bust), or even the game of thrones crack ships (daensa til the day we die), but I’ll always come back to stevetony.

So yeah this escalated into a far longer post than I intended to make but I’ve never really spelled out on this blog how or why I ended up jumping Stucky to Stony when I know it’s usually the other way around. I guess it just comes down to stevetony catching me out when I least expected it, and never having let go of me since. 

[sapphicscholar]

Supergirl, the Bechdel Test, and Critiques of Critiques

Because asks–ranging from fans who have been made to feel guilty for not liking the current season of Supergirl, though many are still watching and hoping, to angry anons who cannot believe I would dare criticize any aspect of a show–keep popping up in my inbox, I’m addressing the issue once here and deleting all those asks clogging up my inbox (because dammit I like order, and my inbox no longer has it). So hold on tight (and ignore/don’t read if you don’t care…really fucking simple rule) while we hit a few of the points I see appearing over and over again on my dash and in my inbox.

First of all, regarding the post about the Bechdel Test (that I’m going to assume was written by someone with the best of intentions and has been misappropriated to yell at other fans and tell them they’re wrong–blanket statement, no wiggle room). Yes, the scene did end up passing the Bechdel test, but that original post to which you refer was written and reblogged by most folks before the episode ever aired, making it an accurate enough assessment with the limited knowledge we had. The fact remains that the way the episode/that scene was marketed and promoted did not pass the test, and that says a lot about the kind of audience they’re hoping to attract (if you don’t believe me, feel free to go read the research about marketing). 

Furthermore, please dear god stop talking about how you know the rules better than anyone else because once upon a time your Intro to Women and Gender Studies professor gave them to you or mentioned them in passing. Bechdel herself has written about sometimes wishing she wasn’t associated with that test (not that she often is these days, just her last name…) because it sets such a fucking low bar, gets plucked out of context, and held up as some gold standard for representation without any thought about the woman who created it, the context of its creation, and the motivation behind it. (Also, if you’re not going to read the blog post by Bechdel that I linked to, just know that the test is inspired, in many ways, by Chapter 5 of Virginia Woolf’s A Room of One’s Own on a chapter that talks about the invisibility of lesbian representation, and Woolf’s work as a whole is all about criticizing the “Angel in the House” and men’s writing for reducing women’s lives to their attachments to men, children, and families, which is literally what that scene is Supergirl does.) And I’m so tired of seeing straight feminists reblogging these posts calling LGBTQ fans of the show anti-feminist for daring to complain about it because this test does not belong only to you, and it is the brainchild of an early-twentieth-century bisexual and a group of self-identified “dykes” from the 1970s and 1980s who wanted to talk about why the state of current media (both the novels of Woolf’s time and the movies of Bechdel and co’s time) failed them as women whose concerns weren’t tied to traditional narratives of what a woman’s life looked like (marriage to a man, followed by children). 

The Bechdel test as we know it today comes from a niche comic strip, Dykes to Watch Out For, which documented the lives of queer women (primarily) from the 1980s through the Bush era and the struggles day-to-day life during that time period entailed, and that context gets ignored far more than your precious rules. And yes, the test (though god that word is infuriating because it implies the same sort of inflexibility that is already rampant in fandom and internet culture) is about movies as a whole (so by your own logic, we shouldn’t even go near a TV show with it), but it’s not incorrect to talk about a scene passing or not passing it, nor is it wrong to use the test as a kind of signpost or easily recognizable language with which to discuss the shortcomings of a given scene (if you want to know more, and I mean this quite earnestly, not to be a jackass, go read linguistic, structuralist, and poststructuralist theorists and find out all about signifiers, then come back when you realize that the meaning of words and phrases isn’t confined to the letters on the page, but encompasses all of the cultural signifiers to which they are tied, which is actually what makes so much of communication as we know it possible).

To insist that fans cannot be upset because a scene featured 5 whole women together and that’s “unheard of” in television forces us to settle, forces us to praise a scene that’s setting up the poorly written demise of a couple that many of us showed up for, upped Supergirl’s ratings and viewing numbers for, because we saw a woman whose journey toward self-realization, acceptance, and actualization looked like ours, found in Sanvers a couple whose story wasn’t perfect but felt realistic in a way many same-sex relationships on television still don’t. And yes, I’m calling this breakup poorly written. As I’ve written before, yes, not having the same idea about what your family should look like is a good reason to end a relationship. Not having had that conversation months into a fucking engagement when both participants in the relationship are adults who have been shown learning about how important communication is and recognizing why it’s a bad idea to make assumptions about what partners want and who apparently have incredibly strong opinions on the matter is beyond unrealistic. And for a show to know that they’re going to break up a couple after just a few episodes makes featuring the proposal and demanding praise for “groundbreaking” television irresponsible marketing–it sets fans up to be disappointed and disillusioned. (And now, because they’ve written Maggie’s absence as this kind of a breakup, rather than the myriad other ways they could have done it, if they do want to bring Maggie back, it’ll be far more difficult and will entail a fundamental reevaluation of what either Alex or Maggie wants in life, which we likely wouldn’t get to see depicted at length or in any kind of realistic way.) 

I’ve seen so many posts criticizing those who have critiqued the show and insisting that they clearly haven’t watched the show or that they ignore all the good it has done. Does that kind of post exist? Yeah, of course it does. It’s the Internet/fandom/Tumblr; there’s anything you can think of here. But these posts demanding appreciation for the show reek of the attitude that has, for decades, told LGBTQ people to sit down, shut up, and be grateful for what we’re given. Shows don’t have to listen to our critiques (and I’m not here defending folks who get violent or spout vitriol directly to the actors who cannot control their storylines, though let’s remember those folks exist on both sides of the issue), but to try to tamp down the rights of fans to be upset and express that frustration is, to be quite frank, embarrassing to see in 2017 from self-ordained progressives. 

I’m still here and watching and producing content that I like to think does right by the show Supergirl could have been (and may well become again), to the kind of nuanced, complex characters and storylines the first season and writers like Ali Adler gave us. But don’t tell me I have to like every second of it. Don’t tell me that I’m not allowed to feel misled by a show that created an endgame narrative for a couple only to break them up in such a way that the reconciliation they continue to lure in front of us as a possibility is nearly impossible (or, at the best, decidedly unrealistic). Don’t tell me that I should accept the flirty subtext between Kara and Lena or a one-off hook up between Alex and Sara that will never hold the same potential for representation as a multi-season lesbian relationship as “equal to” or possible of making up for the loss of Sanvers. And most importantly, don’t ever tell me to shut up when your username includes the words “white” and “conservative” because, oh, honey, nothing gets a liberal academic going quite like the possibility of showing you just how little power you truly have.

[julystorms]

lol how do rp? i made an rp blog for an unrelated fandom from you but i've been way too scared to post on it or get involved

Hope this advice helps you! I’ll start with some things you should have in place before starting to RP, which might boost your confidence in actually getting started!

1. Don’t use a sideblog. It’s a pain in the ass for everyone, including you. Always make your rp blog its own separate blog. (It’s not hard to go and make yet another gmail account.)

2. Pick a username that doesn’t suck, by which i mean: make sure it’s easy to spell and not hard to remember. It’s easiest if it relates in some way to the character, and originality doesn’t matter too much. For example, my Hitch blog is @hitchisms. Avoid dashes in your username too, as tag tracking doesn’t work well with them. Here’s some other RP urls I’ve had for characters:

Hange: exhaustedresearcherMike: secondstrongestAnabel (Pokemon): @remembrancelessGelgar: notdrinkingonthejob (now just @gelgar lmfao)Dita Ness: poeticsoldier (one of my headcanons was that he loved poetry since originally Charlotte’s name was translated into Shallott and I thought how cute it would be if he liked “The Lady of Shallott”!Akane (Psycho Pass): @clearlyunclouded Lin Beifong: bitterloner

Basically, you don’t want anyone to be confused about whether or not you’re RPing a canon character or not, and you also want to make it easy for people to remember you even if you’re an original character. In the Pokemon fandom it got to be hard to keep track of all of the original RPers due to all of the sun/moon urls.

3. In your description be CLEAR about who you’re rping!

You should also put the tag you’re tracking in there if your url is a canon url. You can see I didn’t do that for my Gelgar blog, but sometimes it’s useful to have there. I usually list the tag I track in my rules, though.

And speaking of that, because my next point is related to this: FOR GOODNESS’ SAKE PLEASE USE A THEME THAT ISN’T HARD TO READ.

The point of RPing is to write, and the point of writing is to be read. If people can’t read your writing, what’s the point of any of this? How is RPing fun if your blog is a minefield to navigate? I grew to hate those fancy themes with random stars and shit as links because I just can’t see well enough to find them anymore–but most of the time, I know it’s not my vision that’s impaired lmao.

Aesthetic should NEVER overcast actual functional purpose. You’re there to write characters you love. You want people to be able to read your description and rule pages.

4. Make some PAGES.

This seems daunting, but it’s not that bad. Really, all you absolutely need is some kind of “about” page. Sometimes I throw other pages in there, too, though, to give people more information. And sometimes I’m just an asshole.

My muse page (which is an “about” about the character, since she would be considered my inspiration for writing and therefore a muse) is literally just this:

I suggest looking at other people’s profiles in your fandom to see if there is any kind of pattern. I personally do the same kind of profile for most of my muses:

I try to keep things short and sweet in the sense that there is a lot of information on the profile page, but it’s not, you know, anything I describe with a lot of text. At the bottom of this (you can read the full page at my Anabel blog link up there), I include a “brief history” or rough outline of a history.

You also kind of need a rules page. If you don’t have one, people may not want to follow you, but you have options: you can keep it simple or you can be elaborate!

Shorter is probably better, but I implore you to be honest with yourself and include things there that may be a problem. As you can see above, I had to include warnings for content that my Hitch blog could run into. It’s better to be safe than to accidentally hurt someone. My Gelgar blog always had a very short set of rules because I started RPing him for fun and didn’t feel that I needed to be selective about who I RP’d with.

I usually break up my rules pages into various categories just to break up the text. A lot of general rules apply across most RP communities but it doesn’t hurt to be clear about it.

Now, the rest is really up to you. As you can see from my above “pages” images, I like having a few different kinds of pages.

Verses aren’t always things I include; it really depends on the character. For Akane, I wanted the option to be able to RP at any point in her career that I wanted to, so I made two verses: one where she’s still a newbie, and one that takes place after the newbieness of season one came to a close. As you can see from the text below, I was considering adding a possible enforcer verse: probably an idea I cooked up with @daantooine.

Relationships pages aren’t strictly necessary. Anabel doesn’t have one because she has so few canonical interactions that I mostly included her information in her profile page. Someone from SnK, however, probably will have many (even if casual) connections in the military and it’s useful for other RPers to kind of see how your character may currently view theirs.

As it says at the top of this page, though, relationships may change; my Gelgar had a very different relationship with two very different interpretations of Lynne! His relationship with Auruo and Hange were both based 100% on RP interactions I had with other RPers; we established a rapport and I drew from that.

Lastly, I think a page I enjoy having that others may not? Threads.

This makes it easy for you to re-read your RPs if you want to. I’ll admit, it can be a pain to remember to add things to the list, but it is worth it if you get really attached to character interaction (as I did with this particular Lynne). Thanks @hairjel! Rest in pieces @momtaku.

5. Make sure everything is updated how you like it: your muse page, about pages, headcanons, rules. If you use icons, have them ready to go. (No bigger than 100x100 for heaven’s sake.) Decide on a posting format.

Tiny text? Bolded dialogue? Fancy lettering? It doesn’t have to be fancy. My Gelgar threads never were formatted much.

Here are my Hitch threads and one from my Anabel blog, too.

In recent years I started using small text & bolding the dialogue. It sounds silly, but it makes it easy for another RPer to respond to the dialogue portion. It’s not always the most important part, but during a conversation it’s awkward if something doesn’t get responded to. Some RPers in the Pokémon fandom quite liked it and also adopted it!

6. Cutting posts. This is important because threads get long and ugly as they get reblogged. There’s an x-kit extension called Editable Reblogs that lets you cut out previous replies to the RP, leaving you with the above format so that when you type in a tag for the thread/chrono, it shows them all in chronological order and you can read straight through with no repeated bits!

7. Tagging. Always tag your posts with the other RPers url. everything else is up to you, but from my tags pages (on Hitch in particular) you can get an idea of the kinds of tags I use. Just remember that consistency is key.

From this point forward it’s all about networking and throwing yourself into the mix. Find other RPers, creep on their blogs, find out people you might like to RP with, and when you feel your blog is ready, follow them. Typically when someone followed me, I’d go check out their blog. Some people require you to send in passwords to prove you’ve read the rules, so be aware of that. That seems to be a very fandom-dependent thing, though, so it’s not prevalent in all fandoms.

Once you’ve followed all your blogs, or at least a few, make a “promo.” Here’s a link to a bunch I reblogged on my Anabel! In the Pokémon fandom, promos tend to be short, and many of them just use one icon. Having a promo allows people to kind of “network” your blog–pass it around to encourage other people to follow you/interact with you.

After this, most people do a “starter call” which is essentially just a post like this:

Most people put an icon in there, but since I don’t typically use icons, I didn’t use one here.

Making a starter call does put the pressure on you to start a thread and fling your writing out there, but it’s less daunting if you have other examples of your writing floating around: for example, the about/muse page we talked about earlier.

If you want advice on how to start threads and how to write good starters for your partners, or any other RP advice/questions that aren’t clicking for you, just hit me up and I’ll try to help!

[buffyisms-archive]

Below are a list of extensions and how to use them to help you RP on Tumblr. Some of them pertain to help you write (grammer, ect.), some of them make your dash easier to manage, some help organize, some do other things! I use all of these in my everyday RPing and it seriously helps things so much. This has a huge portion on Xkit and all the Xkit extensions that are super helplful. The Xkit is at the bottom of the post, because Xkit is the most popular and well known. P.S. One thing I’ve struggled with is organizing and running multiple blogs on seperate accounts, so there will be quite a bit that will help you with that. P.P.S. I have posted this on my archived blog so it is better for viewing a long post than it is on my current theme.

SESSION BOX

Omg session box is MUST HAVE FOR RUNNING MULTIPLE ACCOUNTS. If you have ever wanted to be logged on to multiple accounts in the same browser, dude this is amazing. You can have one tab be one blog, and another tab be the other. Download it for Chrome here

STAY FOCUSED

is a chrome app that can make you stay focused on writing. It will block distracting websites. How I use it is when I need to do drafts, I will set it to block all websites except tumblr.com/blog/buffyisms/drafts (obvs replace buffyisms with your own url), it will even block the tumblr dash mode. You can set it for a time of day or a certain ammount of time. Download for Chrome

AUTO TEXT EXPANDER

is a chrome app that lets you type shortcuts and it will replace them with longer things. I find this extremely useful for QUICKLY TAGGING THINGS. I talk about different ways to quickly tag in my Xkit secotion below, but honestly I find this so much easier. It stores more and has more freedom. It is so useful if you use fancy tags, or if you have tons of character tags to remember. For example if I type ism in the tag box it will automatically replace it with ( & ⁱ'ᵐ ⁿᵒᵗ ᵗᵃˡᵏⁱⁿᵍ ᵃᵇᵒᵘᵗ ᵗʰᵉ ˢˡᵃʸᵉʳ. ⁱ'ᵐ ᵗᵃˡᵏⁱⁿᵍ ᵃᵇᵒᵘᵗ ᵇᵘᶠᶠʸ | ɪꜱᴍꜱ. )

WORD COUNTER

is an app that you can highlight a bit of text and right click and hit word counter and it will tell you how many words are in it. This is good if you want to match your partners reply and make sure yours ins’t too short, or long, or whatever. For example this paragraph has59 words. Download for chrome

NEW XKIT. AKA the HOLY FUCKIN’ GRAIL of tumblr roleplaying. Since Xkit has like five million things on it, I will be listing the Xkit extensions that help me with roleplaying, what they do, and how to use them. Seriously Xkit is God, and if you RP on a desktop/laptop I would HIGHLY recommend getting Xkit. First off all, you can download Xkit here for google chrome, they have Xkit for firefox as well. IMPORTANT: DOWNLOAD NEW XKIT NOT THE REGULAR XKIT AS IT DOESN’T WORK ANYMORE. YOU CAN’T HAVE BOTH AT ONCE. ONLY HAVE NEW XKIT INSTALLED.

XInbox What it does: Enables you to tag answer posts before you post them. This is amazing, and necessary if you use any kind of tagging system at all. Delete multiple asks in the mass editor mode. This is good if you are cleaning out your inbox or if tumblr fucks up and gives you multiple of the same ask someone sent you Tags usernames automatically aka it will tag any answer you publish with the askers username. This makes it so they can find it in their tracked url tag. Tags anonymous posts with a tag of your choosing if you have a certain tag for anons. Tags answer posts with a tag of your choosing if you have an answered tag. If you have different tags for ooc and ic asks I wouldn’t use this feature.

One click postage This is my favorite feature and I literally can’t be on tumblr without this anymore. In short what this does is create a hover pop up over any reblog button on dash so you can reblog straight from dash. You can use keyboard shortcuts to queue, draft, ect. Buttons to straight post reblog, queue, or draft post Creates a green already reblogged button to let you know that you may have already reblogged that post. Remove caption option and a box to replace caption

Tweaks This comes with every Xkit and is a huge list of any tweaks Xkit can give you. P.S. There are tons of tweaks and i’m not gonna list them all, just the ones that I use to help me RP. Wrap Tags so you can read all the tags someone uses on a post without it getting cut off. Show new post icons on secondary pages aka your blog page, your queue, your drafts, ect. You can create a new post from anywhere. Always show the move to top button on queue aka any post can be immediately moved to the top of the queue. Show the mass post editor and blog setting button

Anti Capitalism Gets rid of ads, which is amazing because none of us want them.

Blacklist This is a must have for anyone with triggers. This doesn’t just block tagged things, but it go through the text of a post for your trigger words. It has two options one is a warning for trigger word posts and the other will just not show them.

Editable Reblogs This is a MUST HAVE. This allows you to once again be able to cut posts, because no one likes a dash that has 32094380x replies and takes up the whole dash. Just click a little button and you can edit any part of a post. Including you’re partners reply, you’re previous reply. Also good for those little survey things so you can actually fill them in, or bold them, or whatever.

Notification Block This will block notifications from you’re activity page on a certain post. (Note: only works on the actual activity page and not the activity pop up.) If you’re like me and you make tons of ask box memes or little guides just like this one, you totally need this one. If you have a post that has become popular and ruined your activity so you can’t see the activity you actually need to see to RP, this will make it so it does not appear on you’re activity page if someone reblogs your post. This goes without saying, but don’t use this on thread posts that ya know, you actually need to see when someone reblogs it. Example, if this guide right here becomes popular I can make it so it doesn’t mess up my activity page. (although i’m posting it on my archive blog because my current blog has a theme that would make this harder to see). HUGE NOTE: To get this to work right you should have GO TO DASH installed (that I will talk about soon). So to get this to work, pull up the post on YOUR OWN BLOG and click the little hand. This will take it to the post on your dash. At the bottom with all the other buttons, there will be a button with a hand and a lightening bolt. Click this to stop all notifications for that certain post.

Outbox This saved your sent asks. It saves the last 50 of them. It saves both things you send people and private replies. Super good if you need to reference something with plotting or if you can’t remember if you sent that person the same meme.

Post Archiver This is a totally underrated Xkit extension. It is amazing if you have multiple RP accounts. It is also good for tons of other things too. So pretty much you can ‘save’ any post into the xkit archive popup. If you see a post you don’t want to reblog or queue yet, but don’t want taking up your drafts, you can click the button with a down arrow at the bottom of it and save it to Xkit’s Archiver. With multiple blogs I use this if I see a musing post or a meme that doesn’t work for the blog i’m on but I would love to use it for my other blog. You can have categories you can save to that helps organize your archived posts. I’ll have a category that will say ‘Buffy memes and musings’ and when I log on to Buffy I can view them and reblog them on her. This is also amazing to save resources. Any guides or anything you can use later on, save to the archiver and view them any time.

Post Block This is amazing if a post people reblog keeps on appearing on your dash and you don’t wnat to see it anymore. Pretty much makes it so you don’t have to see the post anymore

Quick Tags Dear God, this is another one of my life savers. This adds buttons to when you reblog or post a post, both in reblog from dash and normal reblog, to add tags that you choose. I will say that this only adds 30 tag bundles. But each tag bundle can contain tons of tags. Some people will add tons of tags to a bundle and delete the ones they don’t use. For me that’s too much. But to each their own. I use this for quick tagging musings, memes, character photos, promos, ooc posts, ect. With the click of a button it’s already tags. Amazing if you use fancy tags, or can’t remember all your tags.

Reblog Yourself Literally you can reblog yourself. Good for rebloggin your self promos

Tag Tracking Shows tags in sidebar to track. Essential for tracking your url tag and group verse tags.

View My Tags Another amazing thing to help you tag everything. You can use instead of or with quick tags. This shows you your most recent fifty tags. and you can search for certain ones. Because it does most recent tags, if you use this I would do frequent tag drops.

Bookmarker Adds a little line divider on your dash from the last thing you read. Great for lurking on the dash, it will tell you that you had already read (or sometimes havent read but last time you refreshed the dash) below that line.

Old Sidebar Returns tumblrs old sidebar. I love this because you can easily get to you posts, queue, drafts, ect.

Tag Replacer Must have if you redo your tags. You can put in your old tag and it will find everything tagged with that and automatically replace that tag with your new one. Amazing for redoing tags and maintaining blog organization.

Auto Tagger I use this to automatically tag certain kinds of posts. I.e. it will tag all queue posts with my queue tag, or all audio or video with a tag you have for those kind of posts.

Find Inactives Omg essential for cleaning your dash. it can find blogs that have been inactive for an ammount of months that you set. Unfortunately it can’t unfollow them for you, but finding them is like 3/4 of the battle! This will keep your following number to the people that are active on your dash

Enhanced Queue Totally freakin essential for anyone that uses the queue for anything, ‘specially if you queue replies. My favorite feature is shuffle queue. If you queue up a bunch of gif sets from a blog but don’t want them to come out one after another, or queue up replies but don’t want them all stacked up, you can shuffle the queue. Note: It will only shuffle the posts you have loaded. If you want the whole queue shuffled, scroll down until the end of the queue is loaded. On that note, if you have a large queue but don’t want some of your replies to end up coming out two weeks later, when you queue up your replies, only load one or two more times and then shuffle. That will keep them still in the front. Just don’t shuffle the whole thing after or it will redo that.

Hermes Underrated GOD of xkit. If you ever scroll through your dash for a long time, you will notice things starting to lag and it’s so freakin’ frustrating. This is because your browser still has to remember and keep loaded those posts from the start of your dash. Hermes makes all the posts you have already seen blank, so your browser doesn’t take as much memory to remember them and lessens dash lag.

Mass Deleter This will delete all your current drafts or likes. Now for the drafts, I don’t find that useful unless you are legit clearing out everything. I wish there was a way to toggle the draft button off because tbh it’s a scary button. But it has a confirmation pop up so don’t worry! On the other hand I love the delete all current likes. It keeps my likes more clean.

Shorten Posts Do long posts bother you on your dash? Whether they are memes or other peoples replies or whatever. But you don’t want them to completely disappear, because hey! you might need them. You can set a set pixel length and all posts will be shorten to that. You can click a button to expand the post to it’s original if you want to read the whole thing.

WEBSITES TO HELP YOU WITH THEME STUFF

Pictaculous you can upload your theme background or sidebar pictures and it will give you a color scheme to use on your blog

Screenfly is a site you can view your blog on different screen sizes to make sure it looks good on all screens. Includes ipad and mobile phones too.

Subtle Patterns by toptal has tons of subtle backgrounds that work with tiled backgrounds. Great for pop ups, or your theme background, or graphics, or really so much.

WEBSITES TO HELP WITH WRITING STUFF

Tone Analyzer is so freakin’ cool. Paste your writing or replies in, and it will tell you what emotions you emote in it. Not just which ones, but the percentage of each, and which phrases, sentences that have those certain emotions. It is just so freakin’ cool PS if you’re an angst queen like me, it’s just gonna say sad most of the time lmfao.

Grammerly is a google chrome app that can help you correct your grammer way better than the autopmatic spell corrector.

Readable is a website that you can paste your writing into and it will analyze it and tell you cliches you have, or if your sentences are too long, ect.

OTHER USEFUL/COOL WEBSITES TO HELP WITH RP

CopyPasteCharacter is great for all those symbols that you might need for anything. It has like all of them and by clicking on them you automatically copy them.

Aestheticizer this is great for any kind of fancy script. Put in words or sentences and it will convert them into any kind of fancy text. This is awesome if you use the new fancy tags trend because then you don’t have to copy and paste every character.

Discord is pretty much an online alternative to skype. Create a chat group and invite people and just chat ooc or ic!

Evernote is a notebook organizing website that I use to help me keep track of EVERYTHING. Tag names, things I owe, plot ideas, everything!

[kag-san]

happy valentines day, pals!!! this is a list of the wonderful people ive gotten to know through inuyasha, and boy there’s a lot of them! under a read more to keep from flooding dashboards so read on to see me use words like “i love” and “like” and “omg” and “!!!” 1000 times!

@inukik i LOVE your edits like if i could gush rn i just love everything u make!!!! your gifs are so smooth and the colors are always so soft and lovely!

@kago-bae you’re so kind i love reading your tags!!!! and ur edits are SO QUALITY and your manga coloring?!!! so amazing you’re like a talent machine!

@mirsan ANGIE UR THE WHOLE REASON I HAVE THIS BLOG!!!!! u left such nice tags on my gifs from my main blog and ur blog opens a gate to iy hell again lol but ur so open and friendly and ilysm!!!! i always end up scrolling through days of your blog omg

@sinuyasha sinny ur sososososo SWEET!!!! i love literally everything u post bc we p much love the same shows!!! and you really love rumiko’s work and like ME TOO ASDJGDKLASDF!!!

@shelynite UH OK SO UR ART IS LIKE BEYOND GORGEOUS?!!! you’re so talented like you’re my watercolor hero!!!!

@narkik AMANDA UR SO DANG COOL?? WHY IS SOMEONE THIS COOL MY FRIEND?!!!! ur ridic talented with your writing like i could and have spent all day reading thru your drabbles and fics

@kagomehigurashi 1ST OF ALL IM SO #BLESSED TO BE MUTUALS W THE ACTUAL REAL KAGOME!!!! ur edits are AMAZING, i ADORE your minimalist style and your coloring skills are incredible!!!

@inukag-4ever ur absolutely the sweetest angel!!!! i love seeing your posts about the series and anything you reblog!!!!

@gobodosama ART ANGEL!!!! my jaw DROPS any time ur art hits my dash, and somehow it keeps getting better? even when its already perfect??

@tenseigaa OMG I CHECK OUT UR BLOG SO OFTEN!!! i love your sense of humor and hearing your opinions and SEEING UR ART AND READING UR FIC PLEASE just asldfjkasl;kdjf ur so cool like the absolute coolest

@inuyashs YOUR EDITS ARE SO GOOD I LOVE THEM!!!! and you always reblogs such a cool variety of iy stuff, i can always find something amazing!!!

@kaze-ranna GODDD your edits are always SO CLEAN AND MAD PROFESSIONAL, i can tell you put a lot of work into them! they always turn out beyond incredible

@bakaryuha u have such a good eye like your blog has the best iy posts!!! i love looking through your blog!

@kagkik ur such a positive person to be following!!!! u leave the nicest tags and are so friendly!!! i get a happiness contact high whenever i see your posts!

@sess-kik OK SO UR LIKE THE FUNNIEST PERSON EVER?? those bingo cards? iconic. but ur also so cool and i get excited seeing ur username whenever you post or reblog something!

@kongosoha you’re an actual darling!!! you leave the sweetest messages in tags and you have the BEST headcanons!!!!

@sesshaken MY FELLOW SESSHAKEN SHIPPER!!! not only do u have good taste in ships but i crack up everytime i go through your blog bc your commentary is fantastic. and im always here for trans iy characters!!!!

@sankontesu WHAT A SWEETHEART AM I RIGHT?? you write the most uplifting things in tags on fanart and your headcanons are so good and im just honestly blessed to be mutuals w you!!!!

@darlingdontletmego ur so sweet!!! like the absolute sweetest!!!! and ur blog def reflects that! u always make my dash 10000% cuter!!!

@sesshoumaruismybitch def my fav username to see lmao and as if that wasn’t an indicator, you have so many hilarious posts like i can’t look through your blog without grinning!

@inukag ur like the iy blog professional!!! look at ur username!!! u leave the kindest tags and your edits are E V E R Y T H I N G like holy heck

@little-known-artist your tags are so sweet!!!! and i love seeing your art, you’re so talented and draw everyone so adorably! im esp loving how you experiment with colors in your work!

@yellowis4happy OMG MY QUEEN!!!!! everyday im not worthy but im so happy were friends!!!! ur art is straight up INCREDIBLE. idk what else i could say about it, it’s literally like award-winning incredible and im basically stunned anytime you post your work!

@coquinespike im always so happy to see you in my activity and dash bc you’re so cool!!!! u have such awesome taste and u have such interesting posts on ur blog!

@lovely-taijiya UR ART STYLE IS SO CUTE OMG plus ur blog has no shortage of sango appreciation and you know i am all for that!

@togenkyoo I CAN ALWAYS RECOGNIZE U BY UR ICON i rly love that pic of sango! ur blog is like an iy classic, i try to not overdo it on reblogging from u but its so easy!

@justafewsmallsteps i love the variety in your blog!!!! of course the iy posts are great but you also reblog some great art and i get a lot of inspiration scrolling thru!

@macabre-and-cheese you’ve always been so nice and ur blog is SO fun to go through! we share the same morals (ideology?? idk how to put this lol) so i always read your posts and am like “OMG EXACTLY YES”

@inuparents YOU MAKE ME LOVE THE INU FAMILY EVEN THOUGH I KNOW NOTHING ABT THEM!!! your art makes me swoon and you’re absolutely wonderful and i love ur personal blog too!!!!

@bakusaigaa I LOVE HOW MUCH U LOVE SESS like just scrolling thru ur blog makes me sweat he’s so beautiful

@meselfandwhy i love any iy related post you make or reblog, but im also loving you love for YOI (which i also love!!!) also ur art?? flawless amazing i hope u never have a shortage of commissions when you open them

@nesaal i love your blog bc i can both find stuff for my humor blog that and get hit by iy emotions for the price of one!!!

@kristicles ur art is SO stunning!!! your shading alone is just breathtaking!!!!! if sango were real she’d look EXACTLY how you draw her!

@onikik MICHELLE MY LOVE. MY DARLING. MY TALENTED ANGEL. i can’t believe the stars aligns and our paths crossed like what kind of amazing luck is that!!! your passion for art is so infectious, and you bring us incredible art when god knows we all need it in our lives right now!!! you have such a strong, kind aura that if i can feel it talking to u over im or texting, i can’t imagine how much you’re radiating irl!!!! im so so so lucky to be friends w someone as amazing as you!!!!!

and to all my followers, i cant believe you like my stuff! how rad is that! thank you so much, ilu!!!!!

[lia-is-in-love]

I want to thank the lovely @harrywavycurly​ for tagging me in this!

Rules: Tag 20 friends you would like to get to know better….

Nickname: Jill, Jills, Lia

Zodiac sign: Scorpio

Height: 5'4

Last thing you googled: I’m pretty sure the last thing I googled was something about how to manage/treat Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS) which I just got diagnosed with and which is doing a very good job of fucking with my life ugh :/

Favourite music artist: hmm, I have a lot of music artists that I absolutely LOVE so it’s really hard to pick just one.  But if I had to pick my most favorite, I’d probably have to go with Ed Sheeran I feel the need to include this picture to show just how much I love him.  Please note that I have an entire folder with numerous subfolders and literally 36 different playlists with only Ed Sheeran songs.  Also, pay attention to the fact that I honest to god have 424 Ed Sheeran songs (I have pretty much every version of every song he’s ever performed, recorded, etc; so like I have studio versions, loop-pedal versions, acoustic versions, etc. (I’m a shameless youtube downloader)).  Also I feel it is worth mentioning that my top listened to Ed Sheeran song is a 9 minute song that I’ve listened to 210 times (according to the iTunes playcounter, which only works about half the time when I listen to music on my phone...) which equates to 32 hours; I have legit spent 32 hours of my life listening to this one song. (Yeah, I’m a bit fucking obsessed nuts haha)

But honestly I have a bunch of favorite music artists.  Like Mumford and Sons, I love them so so soooo much.  And Passenger (he’s soooo fucking good, honestly he’s a fucking genius), The Lumineers (they’re also fucking amazing), The Avett Brothers, Little Mix, Kasha Rae, Lowkey, and obviously One Direction lol.  Oh and Bob Dylan, I am crazy about Bob Dylan.  But like those are only my top top absolute most favorites.  I have so many that I love very much also.  Some honorable mentions that I can’t resist adding are Bastille, Imagine Dragons, twenty one pilots, Devlin, Bear’s Den, The Head and the Heart, Rod Stewart, Cat Stevens, and Demi Lovato.  Also, Christian Burrows, Sarah Simmons, and Janet Devlin all have voices that I am straight up in love with.

Song stuck in my head: Currently it’s 7 Years Old, only the version stuck in my head is not the original one, it’s a cover by Christian Burrows who is fucking awesome and you should all go check him out.

Last movie you watched: Ugh probably some kids movie because I work as a nanny and I babysit a lot.  Oh it was one of the Alvin and the Chipmunks movies, and it was fucking terrible.  Like honestly, it was soooo bad.  I mean, I didn’t even really watch it I just sat with the kids as they watched it but I was on tumblr the whole time lol.  Last movie I willingly watched though, I can’t actually remember the name of it, it’s some movie my grandma loves and wanted to watch again about an Irish girl who moves to Brooklyn in like the 1920s.  Last movie I willingly watched that I can actually remember the name of: Hidden Figures.  It was wonderful

What are you wearing right now: Sweat pants and a pink sweater and two pairs of socks because it’s cold lol.

What do you post: On this blog I post mostly 1D stuff, with a side of funny/amusing things, and the occasional important PSA.  I also (supposedly) post fanfics that I write but I’ve been a lazy mofo lately and haven’t done that in a while

Why did you choose your URL: I chose my url because it matched my username on AO3 (LiaIsInLove) only on tumblr you can’t capitalize letters in your url and liaisinlove looks weird to me because you can’t initially tell what it says.  So I put in the dashes and there you have it. 

Do you have other blogs: oooh yes.  Yes I do.  Technically I have a shit ton of side blogs on here, but really only five others that I actually use, and I’m only regularly active on two of those.  @to-dance-beneath-the-diamond-sky​ is my main blog.  It was the first blog I made on tumblr.  Oddly enough, I actually made it at some point in high school, never used or posted a single thing, and forgot that I’d ever made a tumblr until around two years ago when my friend convinced me to get a tumblr, and I went to sign up and was like wtf I already have a blog with this email?!?!?! when did I do that?!?!?! lol.  Before I made this blog, I posted my normal stuff (angsty shit about mental illness and the mess that is my life) as well as my one direction stuff, but then I decided to make a specific 1D blog because none of my followers appreciated my one direction fangirling.  The other blog that I actively use is @act-more-like-a-dog-sirius​ which is my harry potter blog.  As you can tell, it’s primarily dedicated to marauders, particularly sirius black, things.  Then I also have my writing blog, @lia-ivy​ which is purely for me to keep track of useful writing tips/resources for future reference.  And I also have @with-grace--in--your-heart​ on which I lackadaisically post positive/inspiring quotes and shit, and also @my-religion-is-kindness​ which I very occasionally reblog/post inspiring stories that restore faith in humanity and that kind of shit.  I also have a shit ton of other blogs but I’m not really active on any of them so :/ 

What did your last relationship teach you: uuughh I hope this doesn’t mean last relationship relationship because I have never had an official relationship with someone because I’m a fucking loser and A Mess™ and no one likes me.  But I’ll go with the last person that I went on multiple dates with (lol my life is so sad lmao).  From that I learned that you NEVER FUCKING CRY ON THE SECOND DATE!!!!!!!! If you’re getting emotional, tell them you have to go to the bathroom, and then you come out and say you’re not feeling well and then you boot. (That’s what my friend drilled into me after that Unfortunate Incident lmao) You don’t cry in front of them! EVER! Like it’s sooo bad lmao. Just, like, save the emotions and shit until you actually know them and they actually know you.  Like if they want to get all deep and personal and shit, just don’t even go there.  Honestly.  Like, you don’t have to lie, but like don’t dredge up all your past trauma and shit.  Just be casual about it.  You don’t want to reveal the extent of your emotional damage and your traumatic history and shit on the Second Fucking Date.  It will scare them off and it will be humiliating 100%.

Religious or spiritual: Spiritual.

Favourite colour: PINK!!!!!!!! Y’all probably could have guessed that by now though haha

Average hours of sleep: That totally depends on the day.  Some days I sleep like 3-4 hours (because I’m on a medication that makes it so I can’t sleep, and I have to take another medication so I can actually sleep, only that medication knocks me the fuck out, so I can’t take it unless I know I’m going to be able to get at least 8 hours of sleep, so I don’t take it a lot and then I don’t sleep).  And other nights I sleep from like 7-10 hours.  But then there are lots of nights where I’ve had several days in a row of not being able to sleep or I’ll be just super drained/exhausted and I’ll just pass the fuck out and sleep like 14-17 hours for a few days in a row and then I’m back to barely sleeping. Lol I know my sleep schedule is beyond fucked up but that’s the chronic illness + mental illness life for you.

Lucky number: I don’t have one, but I do for some reason like the number 7, and the number 11.  But like not strongly enough for me to consider them lucky or anything

Favourite characters: Sirius Black.  I fucking love him. I love so many of the characters from HP, like Luna Lovegood, Rubeus Hagrid, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, and Harry James Potter himself (duhhh), but I have to say Sirius is my absolute most favorite.  As for favorites in other fandoms, I love Éponine Thénardier from Les Misérables, and I love Jessi Taylor from Kyle XY, and I love Zuko from Avatar the Last Airbender.  That’s probably about it. Oh and I like Katniss from the Hunger Games.

How many blankets do you sleep with: A lot.  A minimum of three blankets, and two comforters/duvets.  (I have really awful circulation, I’m always fucking freezing, and my house is always really cold)

Dream job: Ugh if only I knew.  I really want to do something human rights related, and I’d love to be able to incorporate photography and activism, but I don’t want to be a photojournalist (the field is dying, plus you have to be fucking amazing to actually get a job, and it’s not hands on enough for me).  But the fuck if I know how/where to find a job like that.  Honestly though, I was talking about it the other day (with @harrywavycurly who is an absolute doll) and I’d probably be happiest working at some kind of wildlife animal sanctuary or something because I love animals soooo much and like I want to play with bears, and be friends with wolves, and cuddle with lions, and romp around with hyenas, and spend time with gorillas, and just, the bigger the animal, the more I love it and want to be friends with it lol. 

I rambled a lot as I tend to do, and this was super long, sorry haha.  20 people is a lot soooo I’m just gonna tag the first people I can think of. @missy14us @harrysoreo @littlemissmeggie @muzic-niall-luva @narryrendezvous @1989rosesxx @hypegxmez @irishsunshine-n-l-l-h @narold @myneighborkelsey @louissgoldchain  (only if you guys want to!)

[thecoroutfitters]

How perform you understand if an email address exists or otherwise? The very easy possibility would certainly be actually that you send out a dummy email to that email address, expect a hr or two and also if your information hops, it is likely that those email address carries out certainly not exist. The method operates yet would not it behave if you could check out any type of email address instantaneously without also sending out that exam notification?

For Gmail as well as Google Apps Accounts

The various other a little specialized alternative to validate an email address is through inquiring the email web server. You attach to the email hosting server via telnet ( see if an email address is valid video clip), enter your email address as well as the various other email address that you are actually attempting to confirm. If the web server feedback is an inaccuracy code, the email address is possibly certainly not valid.

How can our experts assist?

Let me discuss a very easy approach for examining if an email address holds and also exists or otherwise.

For Verifying Yahoo Email Addresses

Go to the login web page of the email company as well as profess that you no more always remember the security password of your email profile. The company will certainly see if an email address is valid k your email address where they can easily send out the code recuperation guidelines. Listed here if you get in an email address that performs exist, the company is mainly most likely to inform you that those consumer title performs certainly not exist. I have actually assessed this along with Google Apps, Yahoo Mail and also Outlook (Hotmail) as well as the approach deals with all of them all.

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Go to Google’s security password help web page at google.com/accounts/recovery and also select the I do not recognize my security password choice. Go into the email address that you are actually making an effort to see if an email address is valid ate – – perhaps an @gmail address or even a Google Apps address – – and also select Continue. If that address is certainly not see if an email address is valid , Google will certainly toss a mistake claiming No profile located with that said email address.

Subscribe to our Email Newsletter

Alternatively, you may visit the Gmail Sign-up webpage at accounts.google.com/SignUp and also make an effort generating a brand-new Gmail profile along with the address that you are actually attempting to confirm. For see if an email address is valid email address, the mistake would certainly state Someone currently possesses that username.

Go to account.live.com/ResetPassword, opt for the I neglected my code choice and also get in the Outlook email address. You will definitely acquire a mistake mentioning The Microsoft profile is improper. for handles that carry out certainly not exist.

Go to Yahoo’s profile healing web page at edit.yahoo.com/forgot, go into the @yahoo. com email address that you are actually looking for legitimacy and also hit the Next switch. Yahoo will certainly state Our company could not match the Yahoo I.D. you entered into along with info in our data source if the email address performs certainly not exist.

Related tutorial: How to Guess Someone’s Email Address

Send individualized e-mails to a number of individuals along with a Google Sheet

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Use this free of cost email recognition resource to confirm an email address along with 99.9% precision. Our company’ll see if an email address is valid k to check out if the email inbox exists along with the mail supplier, confirm the email address phrase structure, confirm the email domain name exists, and also assess the number of spam, fraudulence or even misuse criticisms have actually been actually mentioned. IPQS exclusive email proof examination additionally establishes if the email domain name is a popular email supplier (helpful to figure out service e-mails), if the email is a duty located customer (” purchases @”, “assist @”, and so on), the customer’s given name, and also non reusable email standing. Likewise inspect the task as an achievable honeypot or even spamtrap which can have an effect on deliverability fees.

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see if an email address is valid ating e-mails is a field specification for firms that take part in email advertising or even accumulate e-mails coming from customers as well as consumers. Appropriate email listing cleanliness perks your excellence cost along with clicks on, opens up, as well as of your email initiatives. In addition, much better consumer high quality and also much less misuse coming from bogus individual information is an included benefit.

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Simply enter into the email address in the kind over to see if an email address is valid ate an email address. If you would certainly as if to see if an email address is valid ate a set of email handles or even query end results using an API, satisfy make a free of cost profile, which will definitely enable you to post an email advertising listing. Outcomes are actually quick as well as are actually consistently carried out along with new records, therefore you may with certainty confirm email handles along with our solution for any kind of mail company, in any type of nation.

Check out If An Email Address holds.

Using the proof resource over, you can easily check out if an email address stands as well as establish if the email is an energetic inbox, that is actually prepared to take email. This suggests that the email profile is energetic as well as a genuine individual lags the email address. Taking these procedures guarantees you may deliver your customer or even possibility a prosperous notification later on. Some of one of the most annoying portion of managing an organisation is possessing an excellent top, yet certainly not having the capacity to contact all of them. In various other conditions, phony profiles might be actually resulting in complications which are actually very likely utilizing void email handles.

Confirm Email Addresses along with 99.9% Accuracy.

There is actually numerous selections for provider when it involves email address verification, however leads differ considerably. When confirming an email address, getting out through only a handful of portion may significantly affect your inboxing credit rating as well as induce your business’s advertising and marketing projects or even information to wind up in the SPAM file. In a similar way, you might find yourself along with false-positives that can protect against valid individuals coming from enrolling or even calling you.

Why is Email Verification Important?

Imagine possessing a really good possibility see if an email address is valid king to subscribe for your website or even companies, yet they are actually turned down because of their email web server certainly not enabling very most email recognition solutions coming from validating the address. This is a circumstance our experts see if an email address is valid practically each day coming from brand new customers that have actually experienced bad and many more solutions and also among the numerous techniques our solution succeeds matched up to the competitors. IPQS guarantees you’ll certainly never encounter an identical concern, along with email slashing that is actually 99.9% exact.

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Due to worries of SPAM as well as records cracks, a lot of consumers online hesitate to break down their actual email address as well as often make use of a bogus email or even a momentary address coming from the 1000s of non-reusable email solutions. These companies additionally supply a simple remedy for defrauders that desire to make replicate profiles as well as get around sign up needs. Legitimizing e-mails in real-time with an API may considerably minimize fraudulence as well as strengthen the worth of your consumer foundation. It may likewise be actually valuable for sensing flaws coming from great intentioned consumers, like when a customer inadvertently misspells their email address.

Beyond customer high quality, email confirmation is a significant strategy to guarantee your email could be provided straight in to a consumer’s inbox, as opposed to touchdown in the SPAM file or even rebounding because of being actually expelled. This is done through getting rid of spamtraps as well as invalid e-mails coming from your advertising and marketing checklists. Just messaging valid e-mails that are actually energetic along with the post carrier will certainly guarantee you may sustain a well-balanced email sender rating and also stay clear of blacklists. It is actually absolute best to confirm advertising checklists every 6 months at a lowest.

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