#so many of my friends see me as the only reliable source of news

[poor-boy-orpheus]

.

[mortalityplays]

Forgive me if I'm mistaking you for another person, but I remember you speaking at multiple points on the unsustainability of free social media services (I think especially in response to the cohost collapse?), and I'm curious on what your thoughts on bluesky are so far. I'm not an expert on the subject, but from what I've read previously it seemed like they were on track to be financially sustainable, but I don't know if the recent floods of users has thrown those projections off. Sorry if I'm mixing you up with someone else on my timeline, in that case just ignore me.

bluesky will almost certainly follow the same trajectory of monetisation => bloat => enshittification => decline as every other major platform built on venture capital and user hoarding. it's a terrible model that only works in the short term as a mirage for attracting funding and making founders look good for a year or two before they sell.

you can see the same effect in the decline of all the subscription box services that came into vogue just before covid: they feel great to use for as long as the initial injection of venture funding lasts, because the purpose of that funding at that stage is to attract users and impress the next round of funders with how pleasant/intuitive/efficient/ethical/good value the service is. that's the stage where they're handing out freebies and bowling over influencers, and every ingredient in the box is fresh and high quality and locally sourced. wow what a good deal, what a great system!!! why hasn't anyone done this before? the answer is because it's unsustainable by design. they rack up good reviews, sign on a billion new users, attract new funding from a bunch of much more credulous investors, and then gut all of the expensive parts. portions get smaller, ingredients get worse, packaging gets flimsier, prices go up, freebies turn into "5% off your first 9 boxes when you invite 3 friends", and customer service vanishes.

with social media (and platforms like discord) the logic is the same, it's just a little less glaringly obvious to the end user because they're not coming home to leaking packages of rancid chicken on the doorstep. bluesky has an advantage over tiny operations like cohost because it was founded by a billionaire making a point for the sake of his own image. it got a really significant chunk of startup funding, and the owner had existing connections and rep in the space to attract more. That's why it has survived the goldrush period, why it still feels good to use, and why users who have been burned so many times before are finally accepting it as a stable, reliable option. It's still in its venture capital honeymoon phase where the only thing worth spending money on is making the service attractive to users.

What I expect we will see next, with another mass influx of users from twitter and new funding from a rogue's gallery of tech venture sickos led by Blockchain Capital is a strong ramp up into monetising that userbase. They've already been pretty forthright about how they plan to do this, and I think it's a solid roadmap of how Bluesky will bloat and decay over the next few years:

this is a huge lol. don't worry, we're not going to hyperfinancialize the social experience through NFTs. the thing even crypto freaks started feigning amnesia about a year ago. real "our health conscious sodas are 100% arsenic free" messaging here. They know perfectly well that rubes users are suspicious of their typical 5 dimensional tech finance chess games and are patting our hands about last week's bogeymen so nobody worries too hard about whatever 'decentralised developer ecosystem' just happens to be helmed by a bunch of crypto guys. this definitely means something good and based and not a google-like single sign on user data harvesting operation.

This is the same shit that's currently rotting the floorboards of discord. Bluntly, there is no way to run a platform on this scale without gating functionality behind paid services. Discord has been squeezing free-tier file uploads and call quality etc. down steadily and cranking up subscription costs over the last year or two, throwing in chaff like animated avatar frames to try and justify the user cost. They're also doing the same misdirection thing again here, pointing to Thing We All Hate to deflect from thing we might not like very much when they do it. Booo elon booo we all hate elon!!! wait how do we feel about subscription models again,

watch out for this to kill porn on bsky like it has killed porn on every other social platform 👍 boooo we hate elon boooo stupid idiot and his 'everything app' booooo wait why do you need my tax information, what's that about mastercard,

Look, we are all aware social media is a money pit. Let's not forget dorsey was looking to sell twitter in the first place, long before elon's very public plunge into total online derangement. Subscription services are not going to plug the hole, so we are gradually going to see more and more spaghetti thrown at the wall while early funders shuffle cards and do their pyramid scheme bit bringing in stupider and stupider investments. this is the window in which bluesky will be temporarily worth using for us, for the idiot public, the poorly rendered crowd jpegs in the background of their venture capital MOBA. it's in their interests to slow and pad the decline as much as possible, because that is how they get maximally paid.

Given the scale of the money involved, and dorsey's weird ego investment, I think bluesky will probably manage a controlled drift for a good few years before it gets really bloated and painful. and by then we will all be so used to the *checks notes* decentralised developer ecosystem that we'll just be posting through it, watching another generation of columnists call another collapsing platform 'their beloved hellsite' and passing around that meme about not getting out of our chairs no sir until idk we all get on a fediverse neurolink alternative to stick it to the elongated muskrat and our brains pop peacefully in our sleep. which I guess is the closest thing to viability any social media platform can achieve.

anyway diogenes the cynic is also on bluesky

[moraxsthrone]

✧:･.☽ ･ﾟ TITLE — something precious in return

✧:･.☽ ･ﾟ PAIRING — d. ragnvindr x f!reader

✧:･.☽ ･ﾟ WC — 5.7k

✧:･.☽ ･ﾟ WARNINGS/NOTES — nsfw. mdni. virgin!diluc. virgin!reader. mutual pining. childhood friends to lovers. light angst to comfort to smut to fluff. outdoor sex at night. flashbacks in italics. SLOW BURN, just how diluc likes it. from his very first time, he's always been such a naturally passionate lover.

here on your stargazing hill, the night breeze is colder than you had anticipated when you opted to bring the thin blanket upon which you presently sit. you’d worn long sleeves, but hadn’t accounted for how much cooler the air would feel against your face once the tears began to flow. 

normally you’d be at angel’s share right about now, sitting at the bar and shooting the shit with your best friend while he works. but under the current circumstances, diluc’s presence would only serve to drive the knife deeper: a cruel reminder of the love you could have had if only he returned your affection. then perhaps you wouldn’t be sitting here all alone, holding the broken shards of your heart in your hands because you never even would’ve looked twice at the other guy. instead, now it’s doubly broken - first by the guy who just broke up with you, then by the knowledge that the one you really want - your first choice - would always be just out of reach. you almost resent diluc because he has no idea that every time he smiles at you, your heart skips a beat even as it bleeds for him.

you shiver and pull your knees in close to your chest, arms hugging your legs as you look out at the stars. 

“you’ll catch your death sitting out here like this.” 

you squeak and nearly jump out of your skin before putting your hand over your heart and breathing a sigh of relief. 

“you scared the shit out of me, luc!” you chide as he snickers and drapes his coat over your shoulders. you playfully slap his arm as he sits down beside you. “it’s not funny! don’t sneak up on me like that!” 

you quickly wipe your cheeks with the back of your hand, turning his smile upside down as his eyebrows knit. you were hoping he wouldn’t notice you’d been crying, but it’s diluc. he notices things. especially when it comes to you. 

“what’s wrong, y/n?”

his body heat feels nice, his warmth enveloping you as you pull his coat tighter around yourself. “shouldn’t you be at the tavern?” you scoff, wishing he would just go away but scooting over to give him more room in spite of yourself. this would all be so much easier if he didn’t care about you so much.

“not when my friend doesn’t show up there on a friday night.” a new hairline crack snakes through your heart at the word ‘friend’. “i haven’t seen hair nor hide of you all week. now, talk to me. why are you crying? do i need to go kick someone’s ass?”

you fight the smile that threatens to betray you, and he notices…of course. 

“i feel passed over, luc,” you mutter, looking down at your hands, “like i’ll only ever be second best. i want to be someone’s first choice, every time. forever, not just for a few months.”

your words tug at his heart. if you only knew. “so would it be safe to assume things didn’t work out between you and what’s-his-name?”

you chuckle. even though you dated “what’s-his-name” for almost a year, diluc has always “forgotten” his name no matter how many times you’ve reminded him. clearly he's never thought much of the guy. and for good reason, it turns out. 

“seeing as how he dumped me for another girl, your assumption would be safe indeed,” you answer, choking on your last word as fresh tears begin to well up. 

“hey now,” diluc says softly, pulling you in, “come here.”

leaning into him, you lay your head against his chest where his voice sounds so much closer, deeper. balling his shirt in your fist, you tuck your head under his chin just like you’ve done since you were both little, and you cry. 

outside of family, diluc has always been your most reliable source of comfort. generally speaking, he’s never really been the most affectionate person. but when it comes to you he’s made a lot of exceptions. since his father died last year, not many people get to see diluc’s smile or hear his laugh, but you do. the two of you have pretty much been inseparable since you were 7 and he was 8. 

you'd gotten stuck in a tree after climbing it, too scared to climb back down. you sat there and cried for about half an hour when another little girl with long, bright red hair and pretty, big carmine eyes came along and helped you down. you had a couple of scrapes on your knees and elbows and were too shaken up to walk home. so your new friend carried you on her back.

you’ll never forget the way her thick hair tickled your face and made you giggle every time there was a breeze. it was only when you got back home and introduced your new friend to your mom as “she” that diluc’s face turned a shade that rivaled the color of his hair and he said, a little indignantly you might add, “he! i’m a boy!” 

to this day you still tease him about what a pretty girl he could pass for, albeit one with a very deep voice. he does not find it funny.

however, at the present moment, neither of you are laughing. with his strong arms wrapped around you, you hear his heartbeat quicken. 

“i happen to have it on good authority that you are someone’s first choice.”

“you do? i am?” you sniff and look up at him, your watery eyes following the strong line of his jaw as he trains his gaze on the starry canopy above.

his affirmative hum vibrates against your ear, which is still pressed to his chest. why is his heart beating so fast?

with your curiosity piqued, you lift your head. “who?”

“not telling.”

“how mature.”

a breathy laugh escapes his scrunched-up nose as he looks down at you again. “shut up.”

“c’mon, luc, at least give me a hint! is it someone i know?”

“yes.”

“really?” diluc’s hold on you loosens when you straighten up again. “is it someone i know from the tavern or the winery?”

“both.”

that doesn’t narrow it down much. “is it a guy or a girl?” you press.

“definitely a guy,” he says pointedly.

“what color is his hair?”

“i’ll only answer yes or no questions…”

“why can’t you just tell me?”

“because i’m not so sure he wants you to know.”

you scoff. “that’s stupid. why wouldn’t he want me to know?”

“maybe he’s afraid you won’t want to be friends with him anym-�� shit, he thinks, too far. the brief flash of panic in his eyes isn’t lost on you. “in any case,” he says, clearing his throat, “you’re nursing a broken heart so it’s too soon to-”

“diluc,” you interrupt him. “is it you?”

he scoffs, eyebrows knitting. “pfssh…no!” he instantly turns away from you lest you see the blush that he can feel rushing to his face.

“aww, luc! you’re blushing!” you tease, leaning around him to try and see his face. you believed him when he said it’s not him (thinking otherwise would’ve been wishful indeed), but tormenting him a little because of how cute it is that he gets so easily flustered. giggling, you bring a hand to his jaw in an effort to turn his face towards you again. “you’re totally blushing, i can see how red your face-“

before you can finish your taunt, your senses are suddenly filled with diluc ragnvindr. his bottom lip is pressed between yours as he kisses you, the scent of wine-stained oak barrels filling your nostrils. you’re so stunned that you forget to kiss him back and he pulls away, unable to make eye contact. 

“fuck,” he mutters under his breath, moving to get up and leave to avoid making things any worse, but you grab his hand. he stops, but doesn’t turn around. he’s still too embarrassed to face you.

“how long?” your voice is soft, almost a whisper, afraid if you speak too loudly you’ll wake up to find this has all been a dream.

“since that night in the water…”

archons, that long? you were barely teenagers that summer. 

you’d snuck out of your respective homes to go night swimming. you met at the beach south of dawn winery, near the waterfall, before removing all but your swimwear that you’d each worn under your clothes. 

you both stood on one of the boulders and agreed to jump in on the count of three, but when the moment of truth came you chickened out, letting diluc jump in by himself. when he surfaced you were still standing on the rock, looking down and laughing at him. he swam to the shore and by the time you realized what he was doing, it was too late. he was coming right for you but the only escape was jumping into the water. 

you put your hands out, still giggling. “n-no! diluc, no don’t do it!”

a dark grin spread across his face as he grabbed your bare waist. you screamed as he tossed you into the water before jumping in behind you. 

you surfaced and as soon as you could touch the bottom you pushed your wet hair out of your face and turned towards the laughing boy. you called him a few choice names while splashing water towards his face, but he just ended up tackling you. you’re still not sure how it happened, but you found yourself in waist-deep water, still laughing with diluc’s hands perched on your hips to steady you when he suddenly leaned down and kissed you. 

the feeling of lips - his lips - pressed against your own made you feel like you were floating even as your toes curled into the sediment beneath them. you were both inexperienced, neither of you having kissed anyone before. it only lasted a few seconds, but to the two of you it felt like forever, each rapid beat of your hearts lasting lifetimes. but when you placed your palm flat against his bare chest, diluc pulled away and trudged out of the water. 

you watched him, confused and still in shock by what just happened. with his back turned to you, he started getting dressed. 

you were still anchored in the water, suddenly feeling cold. “luc?” 

he balled his hair into his fists to wring the excess water out before looking back at you, but only with a glance. “i uh- i have to go.” 

“diluc, what-” 

“just…get dressed and let’s go.” he sounded angry. “i’m not leaving you out here alone. it's too dangerous.” 

you frowned, hugging yourself as you walked out of the water. your head was swimming, reeling as you slowly made your way towards your own pile of clothes. 

he walked you home that night and neither of you have spoken a word of it since.

until now.

“i thought you hated it,” you say, collecting the excess length of his coat sleeves in your fidgeting hands.

“i didn’t hate it!” he corrects you a little too quickly, then lowers his voice. “i…i liked it.”

“then why the hell did you act so weird about it and want to leave?”

he averts his eyes, but doesn’t say anything. 

“diluc, why?” you plead, new tears - different tears - pricking at the corners of your eyes.

“i…” he knows the question has been burning at the back of your mind for years. an explanation is long overdue. he lowers his gaze from the stars overhead and mumbles something that you can’t quite understand.

“i didn’t hear you.”

“i got hard,” he repeats.

“you-” did you just hear him correctly? “you got hard?”

he has mixed feelings about hearing you say those words. it’s embarrassing, but also…it sounds sexy when you say it.

“so you’ve been breaking my heart for the past 5 years because you popped a boner?”

his eyes shift to yours before quickly looking away again. “i’m sorry.”

“you’re sorry?” you ask incredulously. “diluc, do you have any idea how confused i was? that was my first kiss and i’ve always wanted to cherish it, but you robbed me of that! you took something so precious to me and turned it into something shameful! all because your dick got hard?”

“i didn’t want you to see it, or worse, feel it. we- our bodies were so close. i didn’t want you to think i was a creep.” his apologetic eyes meet yours. “i didn’t mean to hurt you.”

you hazard a glance at his lap, but his leg is bent such that it makes it impossible to tell. “are you hard now?” your voice is quieter, conveying genuine curiosity.

his eyes snap to yours. “no!” do you really think a peck on the lips is enough to arouse him? “it was just a quick kiss…tch!”

“don’t act so offended! that’s all it took back then!”

“i was 14 for fuck’s sake!”

thing is though, you want to make him hard again. the thought that you’d had that effect on him back then - with just a simple kiss - sends a pang of desire coursing through your core. you get to your knees and inch closer to his side, diluc’s crimson eyes following your every move. putting your hands on his shoulders to steady yourself, you lean in and place the softest kiss on his parted lips. 

he doesn’t even feel like he deserves to kiss you again. aren’t you mad at him? why would you reward him with such a sweet gift after what he’d put you through? 

you pull back just enough to look at him and whisper, “kiss me, diluc. like you mean it this time.”

he tilts his head, slotting his lips with yours once again as you both close your eyes. your mouths begin to move and diluc’s hand comes to rest on the back of your neck, his warm thumb ghosting over your ear. 

your mouths open, breathing each other’s air before slowly sealing your lips together again. you drag your thumbs down the sides of his neck as he cranes it to get closer, kissing you a bit harder. as if reading each other’s desires, the tips of your tongues brush together the next time your lips part and pretty soon they’re swirling in a slow, sensual dance. 

diluc’s hands drift down to your waist, pulling you closer to straddle his lap. you settle down, the tiniest of whines leaving your mouth when you feel his semi-hard bulge press into the back of your thigh. your kisses grow increasingly passionate by the second as though trying to make up for lost time. 

changing the tilt of his head to deepen the kiss, diluc wraps you into his arms completely. this time, there is no sign of him backing out. his confidence is sexy, his tongue intoxicating. your hands are in his hair where they’ve wanted to be for so long. he grips your back and pulls you flush against him. you roll your hips against him, making him moan in your mouth as you feel his building erection jump against the back of your thigh. 

diluc huffs and you find yourself on your back, legs still straddling his hips. your tongues push over and around each other, quickened breaths mixing together when he reaches down momentarily and adjusts himself. in this position his cock is now pressing firmly against your moistening center, making you keenly aware of how close your bodies are, how ready you are for one another. 

the sweet, breathy mewl diluc pulls from you when he grinds his clothed erection against your clit goes straight to his dick, making it throb for you in his pants. he ruts again, slowly, willing you to feel him, no longer shy and too far gone to pretend he isn’t aroused. he wants you to know he’s hard for you; needs you to know how badly he’s wanted you and for how long. you have no idea how many times he has whispered your name while lying in his own bed, eyes closed with his hands in his boxers wishing they were yours. more than that, though, he needs you to know how much he cares for you. 

diluc ragnvindr has never been a man of many words. but perhaps now, here on this grassy knoll, with your hands in his hair, his lip between your teeth, your hearts pressed together and pounding for one another - diluc can finally show you all the things he’s wanted to say.

one of his hands wanders the length of your waist, gripping your side as he massages his way down to your hip. he squeezes you there, making you sigh and roll your hips up to meet his when his thumb presses into the crease of your leg. you’re both panting into your open-mouthed kiss, lips red and swollen, impatiently trying to get closer and closer as though you can will your clothing out of the way.

but you’re too needy to wait until the fabric barriers can be worn down with time, so you take matters into your own shaky hands and start unbuttoning the collar of diluc’s shirt. with a grunt, he lifts himself up to help things along, quickly removing his shirt before reaching down to help you out of yours. you’re already working your bra off as your eyes traverse the expanse of his naked chest and sculpted abs. 

his skin is pale and smooth save for the dips between his muscles and the thin line of red hair beneath his navel. diluc’s fiery mane is draped over his broad shoulders, tickling your chest when he presses his naked torso to yours and recaptures your lips with his. he’s burning up, his blushing skin so very hot to the touch that you almost flinch. his scorching hand massages its way to your breast, squeezing and kneading it gently while he dips down to take the other into the wet heat of his mouth. you gasp, eyes rolling back as you arch your back off the relatively cool lining of his coat, pushing your chest into his touch. your hands are exploring his back, dragging the impressions of your fingertips across his pale skin, digging and pulling at him as if he could get any closer. 

blazing a trail of wet kisses along your neck, diluc’s lips find yours once again only to release a quiet moan inside your mouth when your fingers slide inside the front of his pants. he lifts his hips slightly, encouraging your exploration of his body, shivering as your digits thread through his coarse patch of hair before spreading around the wide base of his hard cock. you wrap your fingers around him, sighing at the feeling of his heavy girth in your hand; his hot, velvety skin sliding over the rock hard length of his shaft as you slowly stroke him. 

diluc hums, eyes screwing shut as he presses his forehead to yours, mind buzzing at the sensation of your soft hand pumping him. you work your way closer to his tip, pussy clenching at his deep groan when the edge of his glans catches on the opening of your grip. inside his underwear, you can feel the cool slick of his precum against your knuckles as more begins to coat the inside of your fist. diluc swears under his breath, moving his hips more quickly, unable to resist the sheer pleasure of your tight grip around his slippery cockhead. 

“mm-y/n,” he whispers, burying his face against your neck. “hhhh shit…”  

a few hurried thrusts later, you feel the rhythmic twitching of his cock and with a low, extended groan, diluc covers your hand with his warm release. you slow your pace but keep your fist tight, milking the last of his orgasm from his cock as his hot breaths come hard and fast against your neck. 

when he’s fully spent, he jolts out of your grip and huffs out a small laugh, indicating his sensitivity. you slowly pull your hand from his pants, leaving a trail of his cum along his stomach but neither of you care. 

“that was really hot,” you muse with a small smile.

nuzzling your ear, he mumbles, “can i touch you?”

your eyes slide closed, sighing. “i really want you to, yes.”

diluc leaves a couple of kisses on the corner of your mouth before raising up onto his knees. his chest rises and falls, still catching his breath as he unfastens your pants. you lift your hips to aid him when he curls his fingers around your waistband and works your bottoms down the curve of your ass and hips before ridding you of them entirely. 

you watch as he unbuckles his belt and removes the rest of his own clothing, biting your lip when his half-hard cock bounces out of his cum-stained underwear. he looks down at you, lips parted as his lust-blown vermillion eyes take in every inch of your naked form. feeling vulnerable and self-conscious, you close your legs and fold your arms over your breasts. 

“s-stop staring, diluc,” you mutter, looking away with a bashful smile. “you’re embarrassing me.” 

you feel his hands on your closed thighs, not pulling them apart but caressing them in an effort to make you feel less uncomfortable. 

“i’m sorry, it’s just-” he begins to stumble on his words but presses on, “...the way you’re glowing in the moonlight. you look like a goddess.” he leans down, letting his lips ghost over your skin as he whispers, “please don’t hide yourself; you’re lovely.” 

there’s no fighting the smile that spreads across your face at his words. you willingly open your legs and arms, pulling him close for a kiss. propping himself on his forearm, his other hand touches you, roaming your naked body, claiming every peak and valley, conquering you with his hands inch by scorching inch. 

he feels you tremble beneath him as the backs of his fingers rake along your inner thigh. you gasp, interrupting your lazy kissing when the pad of diluc’s thumb grazes your clit. he slides his digit down between your folds before returning to your tiny, engorged tip. he repeats the process a few more times, spreading your slick along your pink slit while driving you out of your mind. 

he’s dragging the tip of his thumb in little circles over your clit now, swallowing your whines, his full erection returning as you buck your hips for him. with his thumb still on your clit, he presses the tip of his middle finger against your opening, slowly pushing it in a little before withdrawing, back and forth until he’s knuckle deep inside your slippery heat. you’re gripping his biceps, hanging on for dear life while he drinks your moans and sighs, tasting the sounds of your pleasure on his tongue like a fine wine. 

“hhhhnn~ luc…” 

he moves to your ear as he works a second finger inside you, a pleased hum escaping him when he hears his name, laced with lust and desire, pour from your lips. there’s a deep ache building inside your lower belly that you’ve never felt before. diluc presses deeper inside you, reveling in the sensation of your slick walls clenching around his fingers. it feels like you’re chasing something but you need more. his fingers are providing a delicious stretch, but it’s just not quite enough. 

“diluc, please…” you whisper breathlessly, “...put it in.” he raises his head from your collarbone and meets your lust-filled gaze. “need you, luc. want you inside me~”

“you mean…” if you weren’t so drunk on desire, you’d laugh at the almost comical look on his face when he raises his eyebrows. “...my cock?”

you cup his cheeks in your palms and hum affirmatively with a breathy ‘yes’. “i want you…want you to be my first.”

“wait, you’re still…?”

you nod. “i’ve always wanted you to be my first everything.”

his heart blooms, swelling against his ribcage at your confession. with a furrowed brow, he kisses you. “i’ve always wanted the same; you’ll be my first too.” he slowly pulls his fingers out of you and squares his hips with yours, nestling his readied cock between your slick folds. “i’m sorry it took me so long to-”

you bring your fingers to his lips, shushing him. “better late than never,” you tell him with a reassuring smile as you press your lips to his again. your breath stutters when the head of his cock nudges your clit. “claim me, diluc.”

he deepens the kiss with a sigh, his cock leaking to mix with your need, getting slicker with every languid roll of his hips. he reaches between your bodies, his eyes darting to yours, watching for the slightest hint of discomfort or change of mind as he pushes his pink, drooling tip to your opening and begins to push inside you.

you both moan, fingertips curling into one another’s flesh as your tight ring stretches around his thick, virgin cockhead before finally surrendering with a soft pop. 

in all his fantasies of this moment, nothing could’ve prepared diluc for the intoxicating texture and heat of your cunt as it spreads around him. “so…” he sucks air between his teeth at your relentless clenching, “...tight.”

meanwhile, you’ve never felt such overwhelming pressure and fullness as his cock invades your virgin pussy. you hold your breath as the young, inexperienced male pushes deeper inside you, digging your nails into the skin of his back. the stretch is too much, too fast.

he halts all movement, crimson eyes widening when he hears the muffled whimper in your throat. “shit. are you okay? does it hurt?”

you wince, trying to soldier through the pain. you’ve heard that if it hurts you have to take deep breaths and try to relax; tensing only makes it worse. “a- a little.”

“maybe we should stop,” he says as he begins to pull out.

“no!” you blurt, hooking your ankles behind diluc’s thighs to impede his withdrawal. “no,” you repeat, more quietly this time, collecting yourself. “just…be still for a moment and i think i’ll be okay.”

“you want me to keep it in?” he’s watching you like a hawk for your reactions. the last thing in the world he wants to do is hurt you.

your eyes slide closed and nod, the pain already starting to give way to a dull, tolerable pressure. diluc waits, holding himself still as he kisses your face, his soft lips grazing your eyelids while he threads his fingers through your hair. your death grip on the flesh of his back subsides as you inwardly remind yourself to breathe. even when you move your hips a little, diluc keeps still, putting your comfort and pleasure ahead of his own feral urges, content to let you guide his pace. 

little by little, you work yourself further down his thick length until your clit rubs against the red thatch of hair around his base. the added stimulation sends a surge of pleasure through your core, that new ache returning, making you ready and craving just a little more. 

you kiss behind diluc’s jaw, just beneath his ear before murmuring to him, “make love to me, diluc.”

and so, on a cool blanket under the stars and moon, not too far from the vineyard with only the crystalflies to bear witness, you and diluc take something from each other while giving something far more precious in return. 

diluc’s hips undulate, rocking back and forth, his butt muscles flexing with each forward thrust. the crimson hair at the base of his dick is shiny with your slick as it rubs your swollen clit. your toes curl, heels digging into his thighs like a jockey spurring on her steed to go faster, faster. 

“more- nnhhm- more…”

he’s on his forearms, cradling your back, his hands framing your ears when he opens his eyes to look at you from above. “you sure?”

“please, yes, i need it…” your back arches, eyes closing when you feel your core squeeze him and you’re chasing that unknown something again. “need you to fuck me harder, luc.”

your lover's eyes widen momentarily at your direct, wanton words. he finds it incredibly sexy and briefly wonders how else your mouth might surprise him. he’s pumping his cock into you a little faster now, his hand cradling the back of your neck, the pad of his thumb ghosting along your jawline. 

“i need you to tell me if i go too far…” 

you nod, and he raises up onto his hands, caging you beneath him to give himself more leverage as he begins to thrust into you faster still. your moans and whimpers travel straight down his spine, urging him to go harder until you can hear the wet claps of skin, sloppy and lewd.

“gods, y/n…” diluc grunts, feeling that familiar coil winding dangerously tight at the base of his spine, searing and ready to snap. “i think i’m going to…” he swears through his moan as his balls tighten. 

as new lovers tend to do, he slips out of you unintentionally, his hot seed spurting in long threads over your belly. he’s still rocking his hips, dragging his jerking cock between your folds, smearing his cum along your pussy lips as more of it spills out. he’s sighing, trying so hard to be quiet, but as the last of his sperm dribbles out of his cockhead it catches and slides back inside you. he lets out an open-mouthed groan as your tight heat sucks his sensitive, cum-coated tip back in. 

but he doesn’t stop. 

his eyes are screwed shut, gritting his teeth to fight the overstim because your warm cunt just feels so damn good, his dick doesn’t soften in the slightest. 

you’re keening for him, making his toes curl with how sweet you sound for him, his name passing your lips in broken whimpers. diluc’s inhibitions are almost entirely gone at this point. he’s fucking into you with abandon, sloppy because it’s his first time. threads of his cum connect your bellies, joining you, hot and sticky. traces of it have mixed with your slick, making his thick cock nice and slippery as it drags and pulls at your tightening walls.

that something has been building low, so low in your belly. an ache so dull and so deep, a pressure you’ve never felt before. your squelching walls have been closing in with every delectable tug of diluc’s fat cock. 

“ohh…hhnn~diluc?” you keen. 

“yeah?” he pants, still thrusting, addicted to the soft, velvety slick of your pussy sucking him in harder. 

“h-harder…just a little harder…” 

he wants to get on his knees, push your thighs back, and fuck you properly, but this time is special and he would rather stay close to you, even through his haze of wanton lust and unbridled passion. so instead, he bends his knees out beside you, panting with the occasional grunt against the pulsing artery in your neck as he presses hard against your cervix with every pump of his cock. 

“gods, y/n,” he whispers, “you feel so…so good.”

he shifts, angling the curve of his cock just right against a spot deep inside you that you didn’t even know existed until now. the last thing you remember is watching the rich boy’s lean abs flexing, sweat dripping down his sides as he humps his slick shaft in and out, in and out, in and out. he drives you right up to a terrible height until you feel...

weightless. 

you’re hanging in the air just before the freefall when a sharp heat courses out from your center to the very ends of your nerves at lightspeed. you barely hear yourself cry out for him as your walls convulse and spasm around his length. he watches, wide-eyed as he fucks you through your first orgasm, slow and deep with full, passionate thrusts. the sound of his name falling desperately from your lips, the sounds of all your shared fluids - sweat, slick, cum, tears - they go right to his head as his hips keep right on snapping into yours. 

“gonna~ mmnnhh~ make me cum again~” a strangled groan escapes diluc’s open lips.

shame you’ll never get to see just how tightly his little asshole winks while his cock jerks his cum inside your pussy for the very first time, painting your walls creamy white. his thick seed leaks from your tight opening as you continue to glide on his cock from below. you kiss him, his quick breaths catching in his throat as he rides out his orgasm.

your lips graze as you both come down from your respective highs together, noses nudging between lazy kisses. diluc rolls off of you, some of his warm seed oozing out of you when his softening dick slips out. he rests his hand above your hip and pulls you to him until the side of your face is pressed against his warm chest, his heart still thumping at a fast pace. you place tender butterfly kisses against his flushed skin as he presses his lips to the top of your head. you lie there together, basking in the long-desired feeling of being in each other’s arms, two sweaty bodies shimmering in the moonlight as you mindlessly trace your names on the other’s back until diluc feels you shiver.

“come on,” he says, sitting up. “let’s get dressed and go back to my place for a hot bath.”

slipping your shirt on, you hesitate. “but…adelinde and the others…they’ll know.”

zipping his pants before shoving his soiled boxers into his pocket, he says, “they already know. they’ve been hounding me about us for years.”

you look up at him, a wide grin gracing your features. “'us'? really?”

he simply nods with a smirk, holding his coat open as you slip it on again. it’s heavy, but the weight is comforting and familiar, protective like armor. “i think nothing would make them happier.”

you help him fold your blanket before wrapping your arms around his waist. “will you carry me on your back?” you ask, standing on your tiptoes to punctuate your request with a kiss.

“of course,” he chuckles softly, kissing you back before turning around and crouching. “hop on.”

with your legs hooked over his arms, he carries you back to the winery. you prop your chin on his shoulder, catching your scent on him and giggling every time his hair tickles your face in the breeze.

✧:･.☽ ･ﾟ diluc m.list

✧:･.☽ ･ﾟ happy birthday to diluc! it's after midnight where i am, but it's still his bday somewhere! please consider reblogging if you enjoyed reading this. thank you, loves! 💋

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

Hi, first of all I wanted to say that I really appreciate your blog. Your political ramblings are always fun to read and still have the seriousness they deserve and I particularly like that you reference your sources, images and so on.

I did want to ask about those sources: how do you find them? Just a general internet search about a theme? Or some journals you read regularly (keeping in mind that medias have to be read with the context in mind of course) maybe even other blogs?

thank you and in any case I wish you to have a lovely day!

Hello! Thank you so much, this is so kind! Political blogging is something that just sort of happens to me. I never mean to do it. I'm glad others enjoy it anyway

Sources: so, there's a mix. I think I might have mentioned this before, back in the midst of Clownfall, but my husband is a Doctor Who nerd who, many years ago before social media was really much of a thing, joined a Doctor Who mailing list. There, he met many other nerds, and became friends with them.

They were a bit older than him, so grew up and got jobs and that before he did. Some of them became legit Doctor Who writers, like Paul Magrs and Lance Parkinson; but others, crucially, became political journalists. These people are now among the top political journalists in the land, so Steff gets tremendous amounts of news from them; previously on Twitter, and now on Bluesky, he therefore gets to see a lot of the headlines and memes and the like as they happen.

But, yes, a lot of it is also Google searching and hunting down sources that are as reliable as I can get them. I have a fair bit of professional practice at that part. A big thing is that modern newspapers often link back to previous articles about events that built up to whatever scandal you're researching, which is very helpful for making sure you get the background before you jump in; I also like cross-referencing between two or three reliable publications to see what details are generally agreed, and then making sure to link to the specific sources for anything that's only popping up once.

In my case, I also write these to be a bit funny? So that they're readable by people who are otherwise turned off by the dry wall of text presented by traditional politics reporting. So, I also amass a collection of memes and things by (a) getting my husband to save any he likes on Bluesky, and (b) checking the outputs of political comedians to see if they've produced anything fun. I got a LOT of mileage out of Michael Spicer's the Room Next Door sketches when trying to illustrate what various UK politicians were like.

In the case of yesterday's Korean martial law post, that was a bit trickier than normal because primary sources were obviously Korean (in which I can only say hello, yes, no, thank you, sorry, wow, and amazing). So, I did more cross-referencing than usual. If I could find three agreeing on a fact, I chucked it in (insofar as that was possible) - the times where that wasn't an option, I tried to include photo or video. But also, that was a broader strokes post than I'd normally do. In terms of the speed of development and the twists and turns that developed, it was possibly equivalent to Liz Truss' fracking vote? Which, if you compare the two, way more detail went into Truss because I was much surer of the sources. And, of course, that one was about my own country's political meltdown; I knew more already.

Anyway, I hope that answers your question. Have a great day!

[hooked-on-elvis]

𝗜 𝗪𝗜𝗟𝗟 𝗡𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗥-𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗥 𝗪𝗔𝗧𝗖𝗛 "𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗡𝗚𝗘 𝗢𝗙 𝗛𝗔𝗕𝗜𝗧" 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗦𝗔𝗠𝗘 𝗪𝗔𝗬... It's not really anything from our business but Elvis' personal life is very, very entertaining - plus, knowing those things fans can always choose to live vicariously through the King's enormous list of love affairs.

From The News Examiner by author Trina Young — whom I love, btw... she really does an incredible job researching on Elvis' life and career — watch the video above on Elvis' romances on set of Change Of Habit (1969). Below, an excerpt from a book mentioned there:

While on set, Elvis and Mary, during breaks would "lie on a big blanket out in sunshine of the park, surrounded by extras and other actors, making out like teenagers. I don't mean affectionate pecks on the lips either. I'm talking about arms wrapped around each other during lip-locks that lasted fifteen minutes or half an hour. No one else on the set paid any attention to this behavior." From reporter Ann Moses' memoir book, released in 2017, "MEOW! My Groovy Life with Tiger Beat's Teen Idols":

Can you even look at these pictures the same way now?

PERSONAL COMMENT: Man, Mary Tyler Moore AND Jane Elliot? Seriously? Elvis had no shame at all, if that is true. Well, he certainly didn't - just thinking about the fact that he was married and had a tiny little baby at the time - but which actor or musician does? Very few. I always see things like this from a perspective of real life... If people in real life cheat all the time then how could we expect that stunning people, with money and fame and all the temptations surrounding them 24/7, don't do it? I mean, it doesn't make things right but it's not something only Elvis and Mary did - and at least concerning E we all know his wife cheated on him too, at given point - so we can drop the judgmental comments on marital status here because that's old news.

What shocks me is the suspicion he was having a thing with two of his co-stars from the same movie. Okay, supposedly it wasn't at the exact same time - apparently Mary was "inaccessible", according to Jane Elliot, so Elvis and Mary didn't get along very well compared to his relationship with other actors that worked on COH, and for that we can suppose she and Jane weren't actually friends either. Trina supposes his romance with Mary was very short-lived... and then (or prior to him and Mary happening) him and Jane happened. At least E (supposedly) wasn't having a thing with two girls who were friends with each other, behind their backs and at the same time but still... co-workers! Surreal. To me this is shocking. I always believed Mary when she said she didn't have a thing with E... Jane I had my suspicious but it's still not confirmed as far as I know. But now that I learn Mary was (apparently) lying, from a reliable source, eye-witness, adding this to the rumors (some gossip from the director based on situational "proof") that E and Jane had an affair during the making of COH... this got even funnier (to be kind).

I personally believe Ann Moses when she shares many, many years later what she saw between E and Mary in 1969 - and based on pictures I also believe him and Jane had a thing going on at the same period. I'm not judging any of them here. Even if it was all true, we don't know the real situation (how that happened, why it happened, the mood between the actors…) Still, c'mon, isn't that weird to imagine that Jane might could've seen Elvis and Mary and afterwards (or at the same time, who knows?) she got together with him even so? In other situation, isn't that weird to imagine, on the worst case scenario, that E got together with Jane and then he moved on to Mary right on Jane's face? Now, they were all grown-ups, all of them knew what they were getting themselves into (hopefully). I'm just sharing my thoughts, not for a sec intending to create any kind of morality shame on those people. Just like everything about Elvis, his love life is something we have fun (?) speculating about. Anyhow, one thing is true... ELVIS AND MARY TYLER MOORE DID HAVE A THING GOING ON IN 1969.

Oh, and about Mary saying Elvis said he slept with all of his co-stars except one, meaning it was her? I've read somewhere that Marlyn Mason said the same thing. I guess she was really the only one. Okay, making out and "getting into bed with each other" are two different things but still... things point more to Marlyn being the one than Mary. Again, who knows?

[chibrary]

INTERVIEW: "Ferrari, I won't stop believing in it. I see myself as world champion" (La Repubblica, 2022)

source: alessandra retico, la repubblica published: june 15th, 2022 series: f1, 2022

excerpts:

Do you envy Verstappen at all? No and I don't think he envies anything about me either. We are two different drivers, I focus on myself to be the best version of myself, I will never be someone else. I am happy with my development and will continue to evolve.

You're very tidy on the track, are you also very tidy in your private life? No, I'm messy. I reserve order and discipline for motorsport.

In the film [Lightyear], there is a kiss between two women that has already created controversy: does it surprise you? For me, homosexuality is a completely normal thing, I have gay friends, I don't understand how today there are people who don't understand that love is for everyone. F1 must lend a hand to those who don't have such a powerful voice to express difficulties in everyday life.

They have given you many names: predestined, prince, which one do you recognize yourself in? They are all positive and make me very happy, but what I like most is what my father gave me, pins à roulettes when I started racing, I was 4-5 years old, I was all small and you could only see the big helmet.

Were you never afraid? No, never, even if looking back at the accidents I tell myself I was lucky.

What did you buy with your first paycheck? A 1969 Fiat 500, off-white, convertible. The side-by-side? I didn't have too much trouble driving it. Then I went to Indonesia in Bali with my best friends.

A pinhead with wheels underneath. The yellow helmet was so big and he was so small, that his father called him pins à roulettes: "It's the image that corresponds to me and I like best about myself." Even though Dad Hervé is no longer here, Charles Leclerc still goes fast and stings the heart with the same ardor as when he was a child. He has a Ferrari to do it. "I want to become world champion , I will believe in it until it is no longer mathematically possible." Six poles in 8 grands prix but only 2 successes, now he is 3rd behind the Red Bulls of Verstappen and Perez. Two retirements in the last 3 races (Barcelona and Baku) due to reliability problems, in the middle his very bitter Monte Carlo: from 1st to 4th due to a mix-up of strategies. His engine is in Maranello: in Montreal��he will fit a new one, to be determined if he will need a fourth turbo which would cost him a penalty.

Still optimistic? I will never give up, this has always been my mentality. I want to win, the World Cup is long. We have to understand the problems we had, they were three tough blows. Not an easy moment, but this doesn't change my motivation.

Doesn't reliability worry you? No, but a lot of attention is needed, the customer teams also had problems. But I have faith in this team and once the problems have been resolved, the pace and performance are there. I believe in it. I may be crazy, but I also believed in the two previous seasons as soon as I put the visor down, even though I could aim for a 10th place at most. This year we're really there, we just need to focus on ourselves and solve the problems as soon as possible. It's an important championship, we have a great opportunity to do well. There is too much positivity when things go well and too much negativity when they go badly. We need to find a balance.

Did you sleep after Munich? I did it, even if it hurt. But already in Baku I reset and got back in very good shape. It will be the same here in Montreal too.

How do you recover from disappointment after delusion? I know well what it means and what it feels like when you win, it's one of the few things that give me such great happiness. It's this that drives me to train every morning. This year we should have had more successes than we have for the reasons we know, but I'm sure it's just a matter of time to get back to where we want to be.

Do you need more calm or a winning mentality? Everyone has their own way of arriving at things. For me, being calm and concentration are fundamental. And when there is an excess of emotions it is important to return to your own bubble without being disturbed.

Do you have anything special about qualifying? I don't know, you can make a difference on the flying lap, because every mistake you make costs you in the end. For now it's gone well, I understand the car enough. But I'm also happy with the race which was my weak point in 2019, I worked on it and I think I improved a lot.

Compared to your partner, Sainz, you seem to have more confidence with the car. I can't speak for Carlos, this year I prepared better than in the past. Lots of simulator and in the pre-season tests I tried things that perhaps didn't make sense but I didn't want to overlook anything and be as ready as possible for the first race, there I wanted to be where I am and give it my all. It paid off. These new cars are difficult to drive and the details of going fast have changed. All the drivers have made mistakes and it's up to me to make as few as possible. I take risks, like in Imola. Even when you can't see it. I think it's the right approach and for now I'm happy.

Do you envy Verstappen at all? No and I don't think he envies anything about me either. We are two different riders, I focus on myself to be the best version of myself, I will never be someone else. I am happy with my development and will continue to evolve.

How did you miss the plane to Montreal? I went home on Monday. The flight from Nice to Paris was delayed. So I missed the connection but then I arrived safe and on time.

You're very tidy on the track, are you also very tidy in your private life? No, I'm messy. I reserve order and discipline for motorsport.

What do you write in the notebooks you read during free practice?

Everything: my feelings on the car and the things I want to try on the track. I get lots of ideas so I write them down so I don't forget them. And I write them in pen so I'm sure I'll find them again, before I used an app on the tablet which often deleted it all.

You voiced a character in the Disney Pixar film, Lightyear: The True Story of Buzz . Do you feel like a superhero? No. I feel like a normal person, even if I do a sport, I don't call it work, very special which isn't for everyone. I'm just lucky.

In the film there is a kiss between two women that has already created controversy, does it surprise you? For me homosexuality is a completely normal thing, I have gay friends, I don't understand how today there are people who don't understand that love is for everyone. F1 must lend a hand to those who don't have such a powerful voice to express difficulties in everyday life.

What are you like in everyday life? I have a routine: diet, gym, rest. Discipline is the biggest change I've made. In a year like this I want to be at 110% for 22 races. Will we get to 24? I'll be even fitter.

They have given you many names: predestined, prince, which one do you recognize yourself in? They are all positive and make me very happy, but what I like most is what my father gave me, pins à roulettes when I started racing, I was 4-5 years old, I was all small and you could only see the big helmet.

You play the piano. If F1 were a musical genre, what would it be? A very strange mix between classical and rock and roll. I think it's an exercise in adaptation between aggressiveness in qualifying and gentleness in tire management in the race. Playing helps me, I did it as a child, my brother Arthur is very good, I I started again during the pandemic by taking back the piano that was from my mother.

Don't you sing? Sometimes in the shower. Out of tune? I don't know, I just wouldn't have the courage to do it in front of someone. Poor Seagull sung in Bahrain? A joke with some of the team. I prefer to invent on the piano, it's something I share with my girlfriend Charlotte who will become an architect in two months. Like me, she is very creative.

Is creativity also useful for being a pilot? You need speed, precision, concentration. And courage. Let's take Jedda: a very fast track, close walls. There you feel the risk you're taking but you have to go and not think about it, this is what I like about this sport. I know it's dangerous, but I like to play with limits.

Were you never afraid? No, never, even if looking back at the accidents I tell myself I was lucky.

What did you buy with your first paycheck? A 1969 Fiat 500, off-white, convertible. The side-by-side? I didn't have too much trouble driving it. Then I went to Indonesia in Bali with my best friends.

You love fashion, when will your first clothing line be launched? I would like to do it in the future, it is one of my passions, I believe that fashion is a means of expressing oneself without speaking. For now I am content with wearing things that I like. My mind is busy trying to win the Championship.

Have you already booked your summer holidays? In Sardinia with my friends on my Riva boat. Then in Ibiza with the family, but I remain focused: gym and equipment within reach.

Who will you cheer for at the World Cup in Qatar? Since there is no Monaco and Italy, France.

How do you see yourself at the end of the year? World champion and that's it.

[tinsnip]

Okay, this is going to get reworked for the fic because it doesn't fit as it is - I decided to take a different tack - but Bekla and Jekad crack me up, and I wanted to preserve them somehow. Spoilers for "The Smallest Things."

Our sponsor for the show is, as always, Golet Kobel Nuts: for the longest, sweetest glow. With a kobel nut in your cheek, life is sweeter, stresses are smaller, and problems melt away just like the delectable kobel nut syrup you know so well. For the reliable, satisfying relaxation you deserve, choose Golet.

This week's Golet Gossip is from a long-term follower, first-time commenter - our favourite kind! - who says, “Dear friends at Windcatch:

My gossip comes from the Capital itself - hmm! intriguing! - and it concerns an unexpected visitor to the Central Plaza. A Human Starfleet officer -

This can't be that interesting.

Wait, why not? Give it a chance, Bekla.

I'm so bored of Humans. All the gossip we get about Humans is the same. ”Oh, the Human said something weird! Oh, the Human ate the food wrong! Oh, the Human—”

I admit they've lost some of their novelty.

Well, they're *everywhere*, Jekad. Can't go anywhere in Kardasi’or these days without finding hairs in your food, can you.

Now, now.

Go on, then...

*Thank* you, Bekla. All right, our writer says a Human Starfleet officer -

- the worst kind -

--seems to have some pull in unexpectedly high circles in Kardasi'or. After being apprehended for causing a nuisance during the business hours of the Ministerial Level--

Hmm, maybe I do like Humans after all.

I wonder what he did?

”Nuisance“ is so vague. Keep going.

Hmm. All right - after being apprehended... yes... was apparently vanished off to a holding cell, or wherever nuisances go—

Bored again...

—and was then visited by the Secretary to the Minister of Accountability for a *private conversation*!

Mmm-hmm. I wonder how many lights he saw.

No, wait - apparently it wasn't that kind of conversation - apparently it was actually the Minister's real secretary! Our source claims to work in the office adjacent to hers and states that they would know her anywhere!

Ooh. Careful, source, you're going to get spotted.

Only by people who follow our feed.

Who says Ministers can't follow our feed?

I think our sponsors would be a little heftier than Golet Kobel Nuts if Ministers followed our feed. Not that I don't adore a good Golet Kobel Nut!

Oh, and I do as well.

What flavour are you suckling today, Bekla?

I'm trying the new mulvan flavour.

What do you think?

Why, it's dreamy-delicious, like all treats made by our friends at Golet.

Of course it is. And I'm going with good old classic Plain.

Ah, one must love the classics.

Mmm. Now, let's see - our source says the secretary visited with the Human for some time. Our source doesn't know what they talked about - disappointing, source! Try harder next time! - but *does* know that the secretary came out looking *very* frustrated and - get this - asked them for a kobel nut!

No!

Yes!

Secretaries of Ministers sucking kobel nuts, just like we poor gutter trash on the feeds?

Mmm. What sad days have come for Cardassia.

Sad days indeed. Wipe your tears, followers.

And then - hmm! All right, Bekla, you'll like this.

No! Don't tell me -

Yes! Your new favourite Minister appeared!

He looks *so* good in blue!

You really shouldn't choose your politicians by how they dress.

He looks better in blue than you do, Jekad.

I look atrocious in blue. I'll admit it.

You turn green.

Anyway, your favourite Minister *went down to the holding cell himself* and—

And??

And it stops there! That's all they've fed us!

But I'm still hungry!

I find myself more than a little peckish as well! We know so little about our new Minister, don't we.

We're starving. We're scrabbling at crumbs.

Source, you've got to do better. We're begging you. Find out what happened.

Don't let us starve! Look at my skin: positively sunken in around my jaw ridge.

It's depressing.

The makeup does nothing.

All right - let's each have another kobel nut to cheer up. What do you think of this one? Kafi?

Eww, they're pandering to Humans now?

Bekla...

[cuckoo-on-a-string]

Look

So. I have nothing new to add to the discussion, but it's important, particularly for younger friends, to understand the explosion of violence in Israel and Palestine has been expected (and inevitable with current politics) for decades.

The gross human rights violations inflicted on Palestinians was well-documented and 'old news' when I was in college a DECADE AGO. There are many large scale examples, but I had the honor of talking to attempted peace keepers from the region who spent their days escorting school children so people from the colonist settlements wouldn't literally throw rocks at them as they passed the colonizers' 'property.' That stayed with me. Things have only gotten worse.

Because I know someone will go out of their way to be twat, this is not a defense of Hamas. It's also not a defense of a highly militarized ethno theistic state that has repeated refused to address ongoing harm (both active and passive) it inflicted on the native population.

The news frankly isn't doing a great job presenting the whole story, which is why I feel I need to put this out there.

If you want to see some the older evidence concerning what the people who eventually became Hamas were raised suffering, Amnesty International is a reliable, third party source that conducted extensive research and has attempted to do something. (Here's a link to a general piece about a specific campaign to get you started: https://www.amnesty.org/en/latest/campaigns/2017/06/israel-occupation-50-years-of-dispossession/)

The fact that western countries are being bullied out of sending humanitarian aid for the millions of Palestinians who are not Hamas/active combatants should tell you a hell of a lot.

Is the political, historical, and religious history of the region complicated? Absolutely. But I have to say as a white American who's had to come to grips with/own up to the legacy of colonization, dispossession, and genocide my ethnicity grants me (and the associated privileges), this whole story sounds damn familiar. Again, it isn't exactly the same, and the Jewish people as a whole have a long and storied history of just trying to survive in a world that is actively trying to annihilate them. But Israel does not represent all Jewish people. It is a political entity, and it should be held to account like any other.

There are paths towards peace, but they involve sweeping changes and concessions people in power find distasteful. That means Israeli citizens face determined violence from people who have nothing left to lose.

If you can fund relief efforts, do it. If you can bear to watch the news and hold the press, your politicians, and all the uncles who call the Palestinian people as a whole terrorists - DO IT.

[luvuwite]

do you have any tips or advice on how to properly socialize and make friends, both online and irl? i do not want to sound like one of those people, but i’m being so serious and genuine when i say that i’m autistic, awkward, and socially anxious, and basically shy and introverted, so understanding social cues and all of that has got to be the hardest thing for me 😭 you feel like a reliable source since you’ve got a lot of friends, it seems. i feel like these days, people can be so cold, judgmental, closed, and hard to read, in my pov, which makes going out of my comfort zone very, very difficult. you have no clue how many times i’ve been told to basically embrace being alone, but no one really wants to be lonely, especially after seeing people with many cool and funny friends, it can be a soul crushing experience sometimes. i’m actually curious, but you don’t have to answer this: have you ever been lonely, yourself? or have you always been on the social side?

I think after the quarantine in 2020/2021 there was a very noticeable shift in the people and how they act/behave, that's likely why you feel like everyone's so 'mean' nowadays, because it's sorta true that people and more noticeably the internet really shifted after that time frame. idk what happened but somethin def happened

trust me when i say this but making friends is still a genuine struggle as of date, in 2020 (or that kinda time frame) people were already depraved of IRL socialization, so almost everyone was open to making new mutuals/friends because the internet is kinda all we had atp, and that's when i had met 90% of the people who are friends as of date

i think nowadays im able to better understand myself and how i behave, as you get older you kinda stop relying so much on others opinions because you simply... don't have the time or energy to anymore 😭 because I occupy my IRL time with work, school, and art, i'm less available to the people who aren't super close to me, and more available to the people who are if that makes sense. i say try to find people who are willing to look for new friendships, who are people you see you can try to have a good conversation with

I found that having low-maintenance friends is honestly the norm and the most manageable, because honestly think abt it, would you really have the time to be CONSTANTLY talking to your friends, everyday, after spending all day in classes and then working weekends 9-5?

of course sometimes i get lonely, but i have it so much better than i had it probably 3-4 years ago when i was ACTUALLY alone and lonely, i tried to make myself look social (even as of now) to not only be a good model, but also to make the people around me feel comfortable enough to match that energy, or let loose and just quietly vibe around me, because in the end of the day we're all just people who want to have a good life and be able to be happy and relax, and i don't think there's a reason why i wouldn't want people to be able to feel that way when they're around me, kinda like having me be a "comfort" or somethin IDK LOL IM RAMBLING

sorry for the long post! but i hoped to have answered somethin

[alianoralacanta]

🍩 where do you like to get your f1 news from?

I have a variety of sources, although as I have been reminded today, sometimes things get missed. A few bits of preamble: - There are sites I avoid where possible - PlanetF1 because of a long-standing objection concerning a particular anti-Scottish article and overuse of GMM, GMM itself because it scrapes news articles without recompense, Facebook because that site hasn't worked on my computer since 2016, Instagram because of ethical objections to the Zuckerberg Empire, as well as the Daily Mail (or Daily Fail), Daily Express, Diario AS and Marca due to repeated errors in its F1 stories. While YouTube is a source I consider, it often doesn't load for me, videos are usually inefficient sources of news at the best of times, and many YouTube users fail one or more of the above tests. Due to ethical objections to the Elon Musk's behaviour, technical issues and changes in employer policy, I plan to render my Twitter account semi-dormant (occasional messages to keep the account parked and reduce the risk of impersonation, but otherwise only used for emergency read purposes) in 2025. - There is no such thing as an infallible news source. - Different news sources will have different strengths and weaknesses (this applies to both people and outlets; the number of freelance journalists and large outfits means both points need to be remembered). - Most people will have their news sources biased towards languages in which they are fluent, are comfortable for them and/or they are actively trying to learn. - Nobody has a full access to Twitter, Tumblr, Facebook, Instagram or any other large social media address. This will have been limited to the lens enabled by the accounts encountered that the user wants to follow, plus sources sent to them by those users. Sources below:

- Broadcasts. I watch Channel 4 and sometimes also see Sky coverage (one of my friends has Sky and sometimes invites me over to watch qualifying together). - The FIA. Official news from there is rock-solid reliable, if sometimes with a heavy psuedopolitical slant, and the regulation change documents are often drivers of news items. There have been a couple of times where I accidentally "broke" a news item to the world because I spotted an implication of the regulations that wasn't published elsewhere, and mentioned it on my blog and in RaceFans. - RaceFans - the best independent news site I know for F1. - BBC - used to cover F1 in the UK, still retains a decent coverage of the series. Mum sometimes tells me the Radio 4 version of a situation, but mostly I use the website because the sports team is less biased than the news section (even though the same people will have done the initial research on both versions, the news team is apt to remove most of the context due to time). Occasionally I use BBC Radio 5 Live broadcast information to help. - Sometimes I also use The Metro and i newspapers for additional angles, although these are often short of detail and generally not the sort of material I would use to start an article. - Twitter used to be good for picking up news items from places which are irregular news sources and/or only conditionally reliable and/or in languages I am not so good at reading (e.g. Japanese). Unfortunately in the last few months it has become unreliable from a technical standpoint, to the point where I consider myself lucky if I can log in once a fortnight. - Tumblr also helps with picking up irregular/conditionally reliable/non-fluent-language news sources. This has the additional benefit of working well enough to visit regularly. - MSN has some news items, but also a lot of clickbait headlines and tends to lift articles from elsewhere via GMM. I only use that source because my workplace sets it as a home page for some reason, so I can't help but see the F1 headlines there. I would not use it as a direct, although unlike most GMM users, it at least credits its source (allowing a direct source check later). - I also sometimes get pointed towards news items by the Charles Leclerc Discord channel, the GP Wizard forum and Dad's YouTube consumption. Let's say some of those links turn out to be a lot better than others. - Motor Sport and Autosport websites are sometimes useful for detail. - I have to wait each month, but GP Racing (which is being renamed this month as it merges with Autosport magazine) is also good for detail. - Sometimes I track specific other sites for specific news items. For example, I track the Stewarts legal website for safety-related news. Stewarts was the legal firm the Bianchis employed to correct the FIA's attempt to blame Jules for the FIA's mistakes. It was successful, but I have noticed from its stories that it is still keeping half an eye on the FIA's safety record. (Occasionally its articles about other areas of related law are informative for background reasons).

[le-panda-chocovore]

Hello, can I ask from this ask game :

https://www.tumblr.com/threecheersforinking/677824836625694720/anime-ask-game?source=share

For fandom : Haikyuu, BNHA, ATLA, and Jujutsu Kaisen.

Thanks 🌻

Sorry I took time but lists and ranking are difficult to me lol, and I had 4 different asks about making a TOP 5 so I kinda lost myself into it 😅

Oh my god there's so many fandoms, you're really trying to kill me damn-

Okay okay Imma try not to write to much (<- will probably fail)

HAIKYUU

Favorite Character: (I absolutely HATE that question, why do I have to choose ?!?) I'd say Bokuto Koutarou but I also have 5 others in mind lol

Favorite Arc/Episode/Scene: The Tokyo Stage during S2 is my fave because my favorite characters get many screentime together, we see so many different people interact, and it's so fun to enjoy matches without the stress of the competition. I get to support anyone and not feel guilty about it !! Also there's Tsukki's character development, and there's my favorite scene in the anime (the Oya Oya Oya), and they all learn and work on new techniques and it's so cool !! (<- already rambling too much)

Character I Think is Underrated: Maybe Gosshiki ? He's such a baby I love him. I believe Tendou is very much loved so not underrated. Tanaka too. I know people love him but I think he deserves so much more. That man participated in EVERY MATCH, he NEVER got replaced and he doesn't have an ultra special attack and he's not the ace but he's sooooo reliable and cool. He's a caring sempai and a good player and an amazing friend and the only straight ally in a gay world lmaooo We don't appreciate him enough.

Character I Think is Overrated: When I'm not rewatching Haikyuu I think that Hinata and Atsumu are kinda overrated because yeah they're cool but they're not the bests and their characters (I know they're different) aren't the ones I love the most and also I think they're selfish. Then when I rewatches the episode for fun I4m so invested in everything and I just cannot not love them. So, no one is overrated actually.

Favorite Ship/Pairing: HAHA I won't answer that- Alright I will but keep it short. Let's say any popular ship that involves Tsukki, Kuroo, Bokuto, Akaashi and Kenma. Yes even the polyships. Yes. Any popular ship.

Something I Love About the Show/Movie: Everything. (<- only short answer I4m able to give)

BOKU NO HERO ACADEMIA

Oh it's been a while since I've been in that fandom. I lost my hyperfixation 3 years ago and I don't even read the scans anymore. Let's do it anyway, maybe it'd wake some sparkle in me and I'd be able to finish my fanfictions !

Favorite Character: I used to say Present Mic or Bakugo and I'm not sure now. I think Aizawa-sensei is someone safe to say, he'd never not be in my Top 3.

Favorite Arc/Episode/Scene: It's been so long, I don't really know

Character I Think is Underrated: Hatsune Mei. I love her and I rarely see people talking about her (or maybe I'm not on the good side of the fandom). And Mina (I know she's loved but not enough)

Character I Think is Overrated: All Might, I don't really like him. Mineta of course, he deserves Hell.

Favorite Ship/Pairing: EraserMic. I didn't write 3 fanfics about those dumbass gay teachers to not put them here.

Something I Love About the Show/Movie: The theme is good : how should we build a society where almost everyone has a superpower ? How do you regulate that ? How do you classify people as heroes, vigilantes and villains ? How do childhood trauma and socioeconomic differences, and traditional cultures play on the development of the superpower and the life of a person ?

AVATAR THE LAST AIRBENDER

This one is easier because I've already did a fan card about it!

Favorite Character: Zuko. Also Toph.

Favorite Arc/Episode/Scene: The Boiling Rock episodes.

Character I Think is Underrated: I don't think there's one ? I just think Avatar Kyoshi is a bit misinterpreted because the fans love exaggerating, but nothing actually bad.

Character I Think is Overrated: Jet maybe. I just feel nothing about him outside the context of him

Favorite Ship/Pairing: Zukka Nation

Something I Love About the Show/Movie : It's just perfect ? Perfect representation of everything ? It shows so many delicate subjects (people -kids- involved in war, sexism, racism, denial, terrorism, propaganda, redemption, trauma) and it's just GOOD. Zuko returns to his abusive family and makes more mistakes. Sokka looks down on women despite living years of his life surrounded by them. Katara steals something because her ego is hurt. Aang hides something to his friends because he has abandonment issues. Toph is.... Toph. And it's so well written and perfect and good.

JUJUTSU KAISEN

I've done this one too but it's still hard to me lmaooo

Favorite Character: Geto Suguru and Gojo Satoru and Choso and Itadori Yuuji and-

Favorite Arc/Episode/Scene: Hidden Inventory Arc. The story should have stopped here. We don't need anything more come on it's fine. Everyone's happy and it's fine (episodes 4 and 5 don't exist)

Character I Think is Underrated: Ino Takuma. Protect him.

Character I Think is Overrated: That fucking Naoya Bitch. I learned his in the TOP 20 popularity poll ??? HOW THE FUCK ??????? I literally cannot see his face, it gives me nausea. I hate him so sincerely, I don't even want to think about him.

Favorite Ship/Pairing: You know, I know, we know. The strongest. The one and only. The curse me a little at the end. They're known by many names. Satosugu, Gego, Sugusato, Goge, SaltSugar, whatever you want.

Something I Love About the Show/Movie: It's literally a story about love. It is not a romance anime, but it is about love. The theme comes back so often. Suguru loved his friends and it doomed him. Satoru loved Suguru and became a teacher. Yuuta loved Rika and cursed her. Geto's family loved him. It's all about love and no one could convince me otherwise.

[kata-4]

The model of the Hussar "Gashal" was created in the middle of the war, by one of the engineers Jacob Farakaso, his work attracted the attention of the military due to the fact that the designer, even despite his injuries sustained in the war, had a very sad effect. The lower limbs lost their mobility, but by exerting strength, he managed to assemble a semblance of an endo-skeleton that allowed him to move as before, connected to the cervical region and stretched inside with fibers of synthetic flesh with nerve endings allowed him to return to service, but since he was commissioned. He spent some time with his family, learning about the applications of nutcrackers in the news and other sources, and seeing that they have their own weaknesses as flaws, the dying creature caused pity, because he also lost many comrades.

he began developing his own model that would allow the nutcrackers to be more protected and maneuverable, but for a long time he did not come up with engineering solutions, which depressed him. Except that the daughter had just brought a hussar figurine, its mechanics, although simple, but reliable, movable joints, a head that could be retracted into the shoulders, as if a soldier was hiding his head from the shots that came from an easel machine-gun pillbox.

sleepless nights spent at the table brought out a very effective model, his ideas on reinforced mechanical parts, as well as an ultra-sensitive hydraulic system capable of reacting much faster, like a powerful computer, it could protect its owner from a blow, from a shot from a heavy gun, give speed that was not a strong feature, jump over trenches, not fall into mud traps where so many wounded died, because such a simple trace from a shot by a large artillery shell collected water and blood inside itself, becoming quicksand

Sample number one: Hashal – passed the tests of basic motor skills based on computer modeling of the military and staff situation, tests without substance.

entry number 0-19/F-1:

the test revealed small failures in the body and joints of the cervical spine, yet it is very difficult to create a body for creatures when you do not have a sample, it cost a lot to establish system consumption, but a very impressive result. The chest opening was adjusted to the maximum, the spike was not so important, the magnetic belts turned out to be strong, but the check related to water turned out to be very unsuccessful, as well as for chemical reagents, some types of gas melt wires and their insulation, I do not have enough material to protect the cables.

Maybe I should turn to an old friend, he was sorting out the nutcrackers, maybe I can find the answer in them

Revision: this nutcracker took me a lot of time, I had to use ship cables with their insulation, but I had to look for details from undermined and faulty installations, tanks, and similar equipment, this made it easier for me to fuse some fragments, as well as microcircuits.

The control has improved, the balancing is almost calibrated, I made the inner ribs from titanium and aluminum, I had to melt a whole sheet of plate armor of the tank, oh gods, they will obviously kill me soon

Entry 0-20/F-2:

My fears were true, my adventures were noticed by those whom I clearly would not like to see in my house, they were looking for my prototype, the workshop was destroyed, I can't say how long I still have to live, they can kill my daughter, except for her I have no one left after that the case.. The projectile flew into our complex, damn freaks! So many civilians died then, and Jesse.. she was torn apart, the Collie was not sleeping then and did not let go of my hand: daddy, please.. Don't leave, there's a war! They're killing there! I'll work as long as I can, but how long will I last?

I don't remember how much time has passed since I finished it, it remains only to carry out the final touches, but how to carry them out without filling? Where will I get such a creature, even though such creatures could try to escape the same way, or have offspring, but here? How can this happen at all, especially here..

The Collie began to behave more closed, as if hiding, even though I said that secrets should only be told to those whom I am ready to entrust them, she is probably afraid to tell me about it, the main thing is that it does not attract too much attention to us.

entry number 1 from a personal notebook:

Well, still, these weasels watching my family noticed my daughter's behavior, they came with weapons to the complex! This is not acceptable! The rules do not give them the right to come here with weapons, with soldiers.. but among them I saw white coats, damn scientists, always climbing where they shouldn't and playing gods

Insomnia is killing me two or three months after people came to the complex, but I finally managed to get an answer from my daughter, damn it! She found the offspring of these creatures, even two, where should I put the other one? Of course, I can restore and upgrade the previously destroyed nutcracker, but how much will it be useful?

To the touch, these lumps of flesh are pleasant to the eyes, they are quite small, and so inquisitive, one of them with grayish-blue eyes constantly asks me, if I take it, he does not come off me all day. I feel like a mother to these creatures, if they can reproduce, then I can assume that two nutcrackers could have hidden them initially in our complex, but they could have got in other ways, they are difficult to see if they climb through the ventilation ducts. Collie became their babysitter, but they trust her more.

[ignitesthestxrs]

Ssince your askbox is open: give us an update on life? You moved out some time ago to your first place if I remember correctly, how’s it going? What ya up to? You like your job?

wah this is cute anon, thank you! and also a reminder of how very long i have been on this webbed site phew

in hindsight i think moving out was a rough transition for me, although i handled it the best way i could at the time. like it was necessary and ultimately good for me, but i can also clearly see now that this was the start of increasing issues with undiagnosed adhd where i went from a very rigid environment where i had a lot of structure imposed on my life by an external source, to an environment where everything was up to me, and it turns out i was not a super reliable person to give that job to!

that was: a while ago though. these days my living situation is genuinely wonderful and it happened almost entirely accidentally. one of my flatmates had to move out a couple of years ago, so i asked a younger friend who was ready to leave home herself if she was interested in moving in. there was a brief Blip where our third flatmate (TRULY A CUNT) started a campaign of terror that ultimately ended in me kicking her out, which is how we acquired a newer, gayer flatmate. after like a year? her partner moved in, and this is now a 4 lesbian household with one full time cat and three part time cats that just come in through our cat door at will.

nothing is perfect obvs but the difference between living in a house where i was not friends with anyone there and one person actually actively hated me, vs living with people whom i love, who are similarly queer and neurodivergent (this is a 3/4 adhd household, yes it is a mess), who have understanding and community, is the kind of life-changing, revitalising experience i could not have imagined before i had it. like i spent most of my life being alone and enjoying being alone, and i still do spend a lot of time by myself, but it's with the knowledge that like,,,not only can i wander down into the lounge and chill with someone, but that sometimes i will in fact want to do this. this was a revelation for me! i could not have predicted this for myself, and im very glad things unfolded in this way, because there were a couple of moments there where i was very tempted to make simpler, lonelier choices that would have involved taking less of a Chance, and my life would have been duller because of it.

my job is my job! i still work at the same place i always have (15 year anniversary next may lol). i work from home 4/5 days a week (i go in on a monday with my team and don't have to deal with the rest of the company, which suits me well). i make databases of consumer information acquired from surveys that then gets sold to media companies and advertisers, it is not exactly a world-saving endeavor, but we have a solid privacy policy in place so it's ethically survivable LOL.

one thing that has changed over the past few years is that i basically grabbed a metaphorical crowbar and started insisting that we needed more DEI (diversity, equity, inclusion) work happening in our business. this is also not a world-saving endeavour, but it is a way of bringing something that i care about into my workplace in a way that makes practical, effective policy change. white collar workplaces are very good at saying the right thing and doing nothing, and while my workplace is better than many, it has been and continues to be a bit of a fight to drag them into the 'doing things' arena. but i am having gradual success, and my ultimate goal is to create a DEI specialist position for myself if i have to like, carve it out with a butter knife. my boss is on board with this and will throw his weight around as requested, and doing this work definitely brings some interest and purpose to what is a pretty standard tech-adjacent job otherwise.

2023 has been a year of gently trying new things for me. i had a necessary surgery that has given me a new lease on life. i feel like myself again. i have been going to concerts and plays, i have done some volunteer work at a helpline (although i need to follow up on this, a thing that i am notoriously bad at doing). i am trying to reframe my relationship with creativity and writing, a big part of which has been like,,,reading again. my attention span was Shot for a few years though, and this is the first year of being medicated and like, Well enough overall in a long time that i have been able to sustain a pretty regular turnover of books.

i had a period of time there where i was kind of desperately, hysterically unhappy with myself in a way that resulted in me being Incredibly Fucking Needy because i didn't have anything to fill myself up with, i guess? so i have been on a journey of like, well to be interested by yourself it helps to do interesting things, so there has been a lot of re-connecting with hobbies and doing things because i might enjoy them, not because i want to talk about them on the internet. for real, i do think i killed my soul with twitter there for a while.

SO YEAH overall it has been a ride and a life, but i am in a really lovely place right now, even with the bumps and the hardships and the State Of Living. we grow and we go, right?

[written-mine]

it does come to a shock to find out that he turns out to be a sexual predator. many fans were rooting for his return and wishing him the best recovery but to be utterly disappointed, shameful, sad and angry. whatever feelings that fans are going through are valid. however, we should not put our feelings and emotions first before the victims of his crimes. they are the ones who suffered the most under his actions yet they have to live day by day seeing fans pouring out love and support for him.

for the past few days when the news broke, i spiral a lot thinking of so many things that comes to my head. i tried so hard to organised my thoughts and emotions to this because nct has been my ultimate favourite group. i can't hide my disappointment and sadness when i first got to know about this. i spoke many good words about him but to be utterly let down once again. one part of me shouldn't be feeling this way because the victims suffer more but why am i feeling this way?

another thought that comes to my mind was, who is a complicit of his crimes? does the members know about his actions? did they know about it all along but decided to ignore it? who enabled his action for him to do what he did? there must be someone or somewhere that allowed him to do what he did. but after much thought, it feels like i am defending him more than holding him accountable for his actions.

the members of the group are facing the direct impact of the repercussions of his crimes. even your closest friends could hide their deepest and darkest secrets away from you. it feels unfair to hold it against them when they could just as in the dark as the rest of the fans. they could possibly feel betrayed by their own friend. as fans like us, we could only speculate things. in the end of the day, this is just a reminder that we do not know them at all. this parasocial relationship that we have with them is just an act that they put up front to sell themselves to us. their idol persona is one of the many masks that they wear.

hence, i would still support the rest of the 8 members. they are the source of my happiness and i share so much of my youth with them. over the years, i have let being a nctzen be part of me. as long as people still have good words to say about them and there are no crimes against them, i would still support them. however, i would not hesitate to drop them if they turn out to be a bad egg to the society. i shouldn't let a crime of one-man ruin everything for me. no one should let him ruin everything for us.

before i end this, i really hope that people would stop spreading rumors about the victims and the different allegation. we still do not know what actually happen except for that he is indeed being investigated for a sexual crime. i hope people would just take it as that. do not spread more lies and rumors except for what is being published by reliable news sources. by keeping the details are minimal, they might be trying to protect the victim's identity. if your heart is with the victims of his crimes, you would leave it as it is. keep the victims safe and lets hope that justice is serve for people like him.

[synonymouswithanonymous]

🤔

My thoughts. If anyone reads sorry for the length as always. 😊 don't expect anyone too, it's quite lengthy. 😜

Why do some people insist on giving people they don't know any disorder that takes their whimsy. They state these things like they're facts they heard or read him say? The same for his GF. And yet this isn't public knowledge, such statements don't exist. Imo it isn't right to just decide someone has a disorder of any kind.

Why do some insist that he is some easily fooled babe in the woods who is being taken advantage of by his GF they've demonized ? As if someone who has been in entertainment since he was very young hasn't had experiences before and learned from them. A singing contest was it? He also did work and was interviewed around age 16. He was on Vikings. He's been in and around the circuit for a while now.

He's most likely come into contact with a lot of different types of users, it's highly probable. Why are some not only assigning him disorders they want him to have (to hate on the Gf) and are acting like this means his people reader radar is off? Does this mean everyone that knows JM irl also can't read people too? That's a lot of people to so wholly discount, it doesn't make sense. Why are they always discounting first hand accounts from reliable sources? Why does he need to have a disorder to have fallen in love with her? Why does she need to be demonized and blamed, why do they need a reason to be in love? Do they need an excuse? Is it out of the realm of possibilities they could be wrong? Maybe she's who makes him happy? Loves him? Doesn't expect him to be different/change? Maybe she's the real one. Seems like it me, and to him/fam/friends/coworkers. IMO they can't all be wrong, it's very unlikely.

Also why was he dragged in the proverbial mud when he posted a video of children meeting his GF/Cinderella. Judged without knowing whether he had permission or not to post people's kids. But then turn around locates and posts an actual strangers child, from one of this actors long time friends page. Or is it cool bc they don't like this person Line, whom they describe as a "toxic ass kisser" of Johanne. Apparently their long friendship means less to them than "sucking up" to his GF. For what reason would they have to openly like her, if she wasn't good for their friend? That makes no sense. If it was for some gain, what would they get? It makes zero sense. Bc surely this friend would've used her insider status before now if she was going to do so. And why now? Or are they going to say this friend is using him too? People used to say repeatedly that Fanny was a user too. Even though her dad is a director!!!! 😂

Just bc they post pics of their child on their page doesn't mean they want others they don't know to share it. Also, I don't care if the small baby's face was turned, that is still someone's baby. And finding and posting someone's child imo isn't right. And why do they feel the need to see every detail they can, no matter whose page it is, about this actor. Why do some feel the need to go through everyone of his friends pages, or his GF's friends page to catch every glimpse they can? They clock everyone he follows. Is this really necessary? Why?How is that respecting his privacy? I still don't get the jacket hate, it's 3 fashion seasons old now. Girls can't have fun and show off their legs/body on their own page now? That room has been photographed from many angles, we aren't seeing anything new. But again you went willingly to search, and are mad that Johanne took a pic of her friend in her OWN HOME. Just bc she wore a jacket that's his, maybe she just wanted to do a sexy pose? Maybe a sexy pose would boost her numbers? What's wrong with her doing that for that reason? Completely separate from anything to do with AHA? Maybe she Liked the color/it fit etc. Maybe it was a giveaway. We just don't know, it was a good shot though. Why does it have to be anything negative instead of regular normal life? Or at "worst" ambition*? I think people are being too harsh on this friend.

*I don't find anything wrong with having ambition, social media is a marketplace for actors, it's her marketing herself in a casual way.

[lavendertowerarchives]

I talk about JH a lot here, and my partner comes up very little. I've become aware it sounds like my partner isn't such a large part of my life, which is quite untrue. For posterity's sake, and for their sake if they find this, I'll explain.

JH is new to me. As someone who always clamors for something "new" and "different," this can explain my surface level attraction to just contemplating her. I'm not comfortable around her, even when cuddling her. I'm wholly insecure about our friendship. This invites voices into my head to tell me what I'm doing wrong, how she hates me, etc. This makes problems, and all I talk about here are my problems and how my mind works.

My partner has been as such for almost 4 years now. They're reliable to me. Reliably in pain, depressed, and constantly sacrificing their own wellbeing for no good reason, but reliable nonetheless. A lot of our collective issues have been "solved" along with our conversations, so there's no real room for innovation barring some outside impetus. They've been "solved" not in the way a problem is, but in the way Tic-Tac-Toe is: the whole dance between players has been played out so many times that it's stale, and always results in the same "optimal" outcomes.

JH is a major source of stress, since I devise ways to talk to her, and fall flat on my face during execution, or else get brickwalled and blueballed. JH doesn't ever hit me up (no different than any other friends) so all the discovery is done on my part. My partner is also a major source of stress, but for very different reasons: they too want to Leave. For those of you foreign to my other account, I discovered my penchant for Leaving through trying to convince them not to. It's only been heightened by the subsequent 3 times I've had to.

Long story short, my partner isn't creating any new problems for me to solve, so I wouldn't really talk about them here. I still stress about their life and their SH tendencies, but they've been getting better at managing both and I've been getting better at meeting their needs (so they tell me, so I believe) so neither is as much of a threat as they used to be. In fact, if it weren't for them, I wouldn't be on here, explaining the reasons I have to convince me to Leave. I haven't told them, it would devastate them. I haven't told anyone. I know what it's like to hold someone's life in my hands all too well, and I don't want to give anyone that responsibility. I'd only bestow it upon someone if they didn't care or didn't know me.

I love my partner. I do. But at this point, I'm more of a caretaker than anything else. I give them massages, attention, and reassurance, not to mention s3x. They give me s3x in return, some collaboratively homemade meals, the occasional hug, and they lay on me a lot. Our lives take too much out of us for us to do much more than that. We're crazily different in so many aspects of our life that we don't see eye-to-eye on most issues, but we're healthy about their resolution. I can't bring myself to ask for anything from them since they're always depressed and exhausted. I make do with what I have.

JH is just very similar to me in her thoughts and reasonings and experiences. I understand a lot of what she says when describing her life, which is stupidly rare for me.

It's not like I'm trying hard to "get JH" and not trying hard to "get my partner." I already have my partner, and the only way they'd leave is if they really Left. JH already feels like she's slipping away from me, so my mind races, trying to find ways to convince her to keep talking to me.

Is it possible to crush on two people?