#so many annoying toughts that i started writing them down

[ineedahugesticktobeatyou]

Random toughts on RNM s4e7.

I'll be honest, watching this season of RNM tires me out so much, it's unreal. I'm happy they finally figured out that Alex is missing. Now we can speed up this entire thing.

I hate that Michael still doesn't suspect anything tho, that he doesn't even sense something is wrong. It's the most OOC thing for him to happen. He doesn't know about Alex and no one will tell him, so why is he out in the desert in next week's episode? Is he out there looking for Bonnie? If so, you're telling me that she has been missing for a day at most and he's already worried, but it's totally ok that his boyfriend hasn't checked with him for days. You can watch this from every possibile angle and still it doesn't make sense.

At this point I despise the exchange Malex had at the end of episode 2. I despise the "I hope I'm gone for days, not weeks" and the "no matter how far apart prom each other we are" because the writers used them to phone in and to justify this mess of a storyline. Like "we literally told you that Alex would be gone for days or weeks and Michael would be totally cool with it, why are you upset?" Maybe because nothing make sense? Micheal spent days without worring for Alex, whining when he didn't reached out but totally ok with it, and fantasizing about Oasis* like it's really a possibility... not a great build up for the rescue.

I understand why someone can doubt Michael's feelings for Alex. It's because on screen this season often feels like "out of sight, out of mind", and I can accept that from the others, we are sadly used to that, but not from Michael. As I said before, the occasional boyfriend tossed in conversation it's not enough. Living in Alex's house without Alex is definitely not enough. Having Max be the one to bring Alex on the forefront of Micheal's mind is laughable more the anything else. Nothing we have seen until this moment is enough for a couple presented as "cosmic". It's why I hope this rescue will go better that the other one, when all the snapping and going feral of Michael still led to an horrible resolution for Alex.

I don't really know how I feel about this ghost/interdimensional thing. Maybe I'm too old to full appreciate what it can lead to, like if that still of Micheal with the guitar it's the two of them trying to communicate in some way, I'm probably going to laugh my ass off instead of sobbing with feelings. I already have a lot of problems with plot point this season, like the "power stealing kiss"... it was so stupid!

I would love an episode Alex!centric and I hope it's what we are going to have, I just don't know if I will be capable of buy other people's concern for Alex as a genuine feeling. This is a character whose friendships have been abandoned in season one or onesided since then. But let's hope for the best, right? I don't think it can get any worse that these past five episodes. At this point I just want Alex back, I don't really care how. I just want something good (a.k.a. Alex) in this, at least for me, unsatisfactory season.

* about the Oasis thing... I understand what it means for Michael, I don't blame him for entertaing the idea of going home. I mean, it's in line with his character. Plus, we all know how it's gonna end, right? Even so, I kind of hate that the final decision on the matter will be made because Michael almost lost Alex. It will always leave the question of how it could have gone otherwise, in a simpler situation, without knidnapping and portal/black hole/death, whatever it is. Would Michael still choose Alex? Most likely yes and perhaps it would mean more like that, with a choice made rationally and purely out of love, and not prompted by the fear of losing him forever. Not everything need a dramatic wake-up call to work, their love is enough as it is, it should be enough on its own to make Micheal stay. Why has Alex to disappear/die to be choosen without doubts?

[his-argentite]

Pairing: Fred Weasley x fem!reader

Word count: 696

Summary: Reader is always there to make everyone's day better. But behind the closed doors, not everything is what it seems like.

Okay so I felt like writing something very short so here you go.

Warnings: Reader's mental health isn't the best, a little angsty And povs change a lot.

Reader's house: Gryffindor

Reader's blood status: not specified

(Y/N) Pov

It was finally Friday and the last class of the day. This day has been more exhausting than it should have been. The N.E.W.T.s are coming which just gave another excuse for professors to give us too much homework. 

After class, I went straight to the dorms to finish all of my essays. McGonagall thought it was a really good idea to give us too much homework for next week. 'How the hell am I supposed to finish these for next week without completely rushing them?' I tought. I just wanted to spend the weekend with my friends and especially with Fred. 

Fred's Pov

It's finally the weekend. I hope I could spend more time with (Y/N) in Hogsmeade, but she will probably waste her time doing homework the whole time. 

Well if I annoy her enough she will give in and come to Hogsmeade with me. I ran to the dorms and started to look for her. I saw her sitting by the table writing some essays. I walked towards the table and sat next to her. "Hey (Y/N). Would you fancy a date at Hogsmeade this sunday?" I suggested. She thought for a moment and then said, "I would love to, but I have tons of homework that I need to get done for next week." "How about I help you with them and then we could spend the rest of the weekend together," I said. "No need to. I can deal with these myself. I don't really want to be a bother." "You would never be a bother to me," I laughed. (Y/N) just smiled. "How about we go next sunday, I promise that I'll go to Hogsmeade with you." She asked. I thought about it for a moment, "okay. But you better keep your promise." 

3rd Pov

The weekend went quickly. The first classes went as usual. Defence against dark arts was hell because of the pink menace and Snape being an asshole like always. 

It didn't help at all that Umbridge had given (Y/N) detention for standing up for another student. 

Even though (Y/N's) day has been the absolute worst, she still tried to make other people's day better. At dinner she confronted a 1st year student who had been tormented by Umbridge and showed and taught them some simple magic tricks. 

Many liked (Y/N) for being so selfless and helping others. She helped many younger  students with their homework and gave them advice for their future years at hogwarts.

2nd Pov

After Umbridge's detention, you went back to the Gryffindor tower. You tried your best to hide the damned scar that the toad gave you. You were forced to write "I will only mind my own business." 

While walking back, you saw Fred approaching you. Seeing Fred made you feel immediately better. Pulling more of the sleeve of your robe to hide your scar, you started asking him how his day has been going. But Fred noticed your uneasiness right away. 

"I mean… It has been good, but there is something wrong. What did that woman do to you?" He demanded to know. "Nothing. You don't need to worry," you responded. Fred knew you were lying and wasn't having any of it now. "(Y/N),show me the scar. You're pulling your sleeve a little too much and I know what he did to Harry a few days ago." He was now serious. 

Pulling up your sleeve, you showed the scar to him. You felt so uncomfortable. He took your hand into his larger ones and scanned your hand with his eyes. He had never looked so furious before.

Tears started to pour down your cheeks. All of the emotions you have been keeping inside are now escaping. 

"I just can't anymore. I can't stand this shit anymore." You exclaimed.

And before you knew it, Fred was hugging you. You immediately wrapped your arms around him and cried to his chest.

"How about we go to the room of requirement and spend the rest of the night there?" He suggested.

You sniffled and smiled, "Yeah, I think that sounds good."

Sorry if there are a lot of mistakes. It was like 1am when I wrote this :P

[predictable-affairs]

I ✯A flip of the coin, but both sides are the same...✯

They would have never thought, never expected for something like this to happen. Never, especially from a bride...

Oh, but how beautiful the doomed bride was, falling into the hands of those sadistic boys... And she didn't even last a month, what an unlucky soul she was.

Yet nor her beauty, nor her grace shocked those boys to their core, it was what she left behind. Whilst cleaning, throwing and burning belongings of the deceased bride, the brothers found something rather unsual.

In the midst of a pile of clothes, that Reiji detested every time he saw it, going as far as to threatning the poor bride to clean it. "It's uterlly deplorable and unladylike!" he'd say in his usal stoic voice. "Alright, I'll clean it, thank you Reiji." agreed the deceased girl, always closing the door right in his face. Reiji did threaten to clean it himself, which always got the bride to insist not to, appereantly it didin't seem to bother the other boys. It seems that his threats weren't empty, since he did end up, after all, cleaning it himself.

Oh an what did he, what did they find in tha pile of clothes?

A small, chuby baby girl.

A child of the bride.

She was quite little, but still, perhaps could crawl? Nevertheless, she stared up, with dusty pink cheeks and innocence that only a child could hold,  right at the boys around her, who surrounded her like flies on a rotting fruit. No talking, no crying, no whining, no protesting. Silence and a simple baby stare.

"How did she manage this?", "How did we not notice?!" were the question spinning like pretty ballet dancers in the heads of the vampires, but the most important one - "What should we do?".

A simultaneous question that popped like a red ballon realeasing acusations, opinions and confusion in everyones heads.

What should they do?

"I say we keep it!"

Is the first harsh voice of the fiery Ayato, whose hair could compete with his attitudes ego.

"No way!" next protests Subaru.

"I don't know what you will do, but I will not let... it... grow up among, or become like any of us." continues reasioning the white haired boy.

"Oh, but it doesn't have to grow up a monster, dear brother." interjects another triplet - Laito.

" Yet sadly, I have to agree with you, we do not need to keep another mere human." shrugs the playful boy with an unusual statment, even shocking some of the brothers, but they'd never let their face betray them like that...  

He's usually the one who always wants more toys to play with, like a greedy child or an overworked bee.

"No! You are all wrong!" a fitty contradiction could be heard, almost from afar, or maybe right up close?

"We should keep it. I want to keep it!" the strict tone of voice comes from Kanato or perhaps his bear.

"Why? So you can torture it and turn it into another one of your dolls?" mocks Subaru, his pose getting a bit more uncomfortable.

The purple haired boy is in shock. Gripping his little brown bear, waiting to start a fight. How dare he say something like that?!

"If we are going to keep it, it will not be given to only one of us." interrupts a puzzeled, musing Reiji; like cold midnight water, extinguishing the growing new years flame, whose smoke was creating a violent atmosphere, so thick, that even honey would seem brethable enough to not drown in.

"So you agree, we should keep it?" harshly questions the flaming Ayato boy, his patience wearing thin; though insisde he was quite surprised. Does someone as stoic and stuck up as Reiji really agree to keeping a human and even a baby no less?

"No, of course not." offers no other words the mannered vampire, yet telling nothing new or surprising. Now with his gloved hand, which's white didin't differ too much from the pale of his hands, up to the chin, soothingly or maybe even camingly, carresing the face, helping to dose off deeper into his batteling thoughts of the situation he was put in just now.

"What about Shu?" continues questioning hopefully Ayato, for his prior hope just crumbled to calm ash.

Oh, the indifferent, lazy vampire Shu. The blond one of the group of brothers, the only one not in the circle, the only one peacefully resting on the pink covers of the many deceased brides bed, floating in a dream only accompanied by his music.

Or maybe it's something else, something more that he's listening to?  

Lazily opening one eye, hardly letting the piercing blue thats holds the whole of the ocean and it's destructive tides in it, peak through, quietly resting on the palms of his hands. Just as lazily as he opened his eye, just as slowly did he close it.

"I do not care." in an indefrent tone that rainly mirrors his mood, is the anwser that he bearly pushes out in a rusty, raspy voice, slowly qiueting down like an echo or a shadow in the back of a throat with every simple word. Indefrence - as predictable as Reijis opposition.

And so the question stands unanswered - what will they do?

Oh, the tension is growing thick, thicker than fog, thicker than otmeal.

Though the atmosphere of violence was quickly put out, a one of verbal fighting is about to break down.

Oh, and a fight did ensue.

So much yelling, from Subaru, opposing, not wanting to raise anything among them; from Kanato, wanting company for his bear - Teddy, and someone to dress up; from Ayato, emptily reasoning with Laito and Subaru on why they should keep them; and quiet giggles, yet as strong as others arguments; Reiji kept quiet, still deep in his thoughts.

The fight kept getting louder, like a shopping mall with big sales or a cafeteria with good food, yet it didn't seem to bother Shu, how unusual...

"We are not going to keep them!" like punches, harsh words are thrown around the room, a ball, bouncing off the soothing pink walls.

"So where do you suggest we leave them?!" more questions coming from blank faces with yeling mouths.

"Kill them!" another shout.

"We are not keeping them!" the final word, stern voice of Reiji, slowly quieting everyone down.

Was it confusion that suddenly struck the aura of the room or pure shock, nobody knew, but it did engrain a moment of peace, silence to the room. It's pink walls suddenly started to feel like matresses.

One, two, three... that's the count of a rich waltz, and that's how long silence ruled the room.

A waltz, a single waltz.

Yelling, again, crueller words and oppositions, it's good that the baby can't talk, or else their vocabulary would be that of a sailor.

So much commotion such a war between the brothers, it seemed that the rosy baby no longer exsisted.

And so through the yelling, through the war of unpieced words and calmless attitudes, for better or worse, for against or by Reijis last words - it was decided.

They will keep her. They will keep the rosy cheeked baby.

And so, her adventure began.

"What... is it?" comes a small, tiny question from a unknown asker in a quiet little voice.

Everyone is silent, no one seems to have considered that question.

,,It's... a girl..." comes an equally akward anwser also from an unknown source.

Well, now her adventure can definetly start.

And so she grew up amongst the six boys, each one slowly, but surely taking a liking to her.

Whether it was the messy baths that Reiji gave the baby girl (which infurated him to no end; "A bath is supposed to be clean! How does one manage to make it so messy!" - a frequent phrase circling his brain like a dark taxi), the calming naps, that Shu took with her (annoying him when she cried waking up, to the point where he gave her a nickname to soothe her that sticked to this day), or maybe the play sessions with Kanato (which always seemed to put a giggly smile on her face, except when he got angry, then they'd both have a screaming, crying fit), the reading lessons with Laito (effectivelly putting her to sleep, yet he woke her up everytime and even in the midst of tired crying - he'd continue teaching her to read), perhaps the physical fun with Ayato (not once letting her win any games, even the one where he tought her how to walk. But that doesn't mean that there weren't any, though who is he to ever admit that?) and possibly the gentle feeding of Subaru (who had more trouble with it than he'd like to admit), that made them slowly grow accustomed to her, they will never know.

It seemed that each brothers compliance helped the others in return, like a mirror or an open letter passed around in a circle, each one slowly grew a soft spot, and even, dare I say, some attachment to her.

Such unusual behavior for a vampire (was it something in her or just them growing weak? - no one pondered), maybe thats why they never said a word to their father?

There was one thing the boys forgot to do - give her a name.

When this point was made, another fight almost ensued. Who should get to name the baby and what will they name them - the two mischievous questions that almost started a fight as if it was a race. Yet, just before the whistle was blown for words and saliva to start flying, a name issued, suggested by Laito, caught the attention of many, especially, since Ayato got very insisting on it and with a hiding blush - Subaru quietly agreed on.

The decesion was made, and the vampires named her (y/n).

They watched her grow up, always keeping her company, playing games and teaching what they wanted to. But they weren't the only ones who watched her. She also observed them.

As she learned to walk and speak, as she started writing her name in better hand writing, getting older with each and every birthday, she saw all the brides come and go, the way they were treated and how they never lasted (yet she stayed obliviuos to that she too, was a child of a bride long lost).

Obviuosly not just one or two brides tried to make friends with the girl; sometimes in the hopes of escape or sometimes just in hopes of finding a friend, someone "normal", someone to vent to.

At first (y/n) felt sorry for the brides, consoled them even.

But as time went on, as she kept getting older the reoccurences started to anger her.

She began despising the brides, how dare they speak the most attrocious lies, talk such foul things about the boys?! They would never do things that they vent of! And insulting them that way, it made her want for them to leave faster.

She hated how with each bride she'd get less attention, than when she was alone with the boys. She hated the brides, their lies and pesuasion of escape. Where would she go? And more importantly - why would she go? They were kind to her, good, they took care of her why would she ever want to run. And after one particular incident, an escape in which she was dragged in and almost lost the mansion, her... family, forever! (Y/n) completely stopped interacting with the brides.

That was the childhood of a lost brides child, but her fate, history, was yet to be made.

                                                       ↢ What time is it? | II o’clock ↣

[thepandapig]

Ateez reaction to their secret idols s/o getting shipped with them by  fans

A/N: this was requested by someone. I hope you like it. Also my askbox is open and you can send in requests for the groups i listed already.

HONGJOONG

When he saw an article about you two he got confused. You never went out together in public and you were nice and polite to each other at shows. Last week your groups were together at weekly idol and it seems that since he provided you from falling the fans started to ship you. He would finde your ship name so incredibly cute. Would secretly write it down sometimes just to doodle.

SEONGHWA

Ateez was at a varity show and promoted their new song. While talking with the mcs they started to mention you and Seonghwa got flustred. He didn't know why but it seemed that the fans started to ship you two. Avoids any comments on that and hopes that he doesn't get in trouble for anything. Whenever you guys meet at an award show he was normal towards you but the fans would freak out. Every eye contact between you two would be seen as flirting ( which it was ) and every little action would be watched carefully. He finds it kinda annoying after some time but will go on with it.

YUNHO

He found out through a photo shared on social media. It showed you two taking a selfie at yesterdays award show. The fans commented many things but mainly they shared their tought that you guys looked good together as a couple and that you must be dating. He found it pretty funny that people asumed things just after one picture. He would show you and talk with you about it for a while.

YEOSANG

When he found out that you guys were getting shipped he was happy. People thought you guys looked good together ? Good because you did. He would sometimes make the fans go crazy by saying things on lives or making comments while filmig. He did not say something big but eniugh for the fans to go crazy. Everytime someone mentions the shipping thing to you you would blush and he would make slightly fun of you for it. He loves that you and him could be a power couple SAN

He first found out while practicing. He and the others were working out a few moves for a new stage when Wooyoung came up to him and showed him edited pictures of him and you. He found it amusing and started to look through more pictures until Hongjoong reminded him that they had to practice. When he got home he started to look up more content of you two. He finds it cringy and cute at the same time that the fans thought you guys would be a cute couple.

MINGI

When a host asked him if there are any rumors about him he said no because he didn't knew about anything. The host told him about your ship and he got shy. He would praise your group and tell everyone that maybe one day you could do a collab. He is a blushing mess when the members teas him about your ship name. Makes sure to be nice and polite to you when meeting and keeping a little bit more distance so no one will no something.

WOOYOUNG

He would  try to be chill about it. Fans ship him all the time. Now it is with you. He realizes that it is with YOU. He freaks out on the inside. Do they really know ? Where you to obvious ? NO it can't be you always were carefull. He would search the web for evidence if you were obvious or not. He finds the edits and fanmade stories about you and can't stop reading them. He is just like San at that point finds it cute and cringy at the same time.

JONGHO

Jongho would be confused as to why people would ship you. You only talked once with each other in public but the fans seemed to think you guys are dating because of that. He finds it kinda funny. Would talk to the members and ask them what he should do now. Tries to hide it more in public. He would also avoid any questions about it because he does not know how to cover up if he exposes you.

[helis97]

TFA: CyL? _ Finale

I think it’s about time that I close this unfinished project that I so unfortunately lost the will to continue. The reasons why I can no longer continue this project is listed at the end of the synopsis of how the story is supposed to end.

From personal experiences I know that being left with an incomplete comic/story is rather annoying, especially because you might want to know “What happens to the characters? What happens to the story?”

So I have collected the courage to write down HOW THE STORY WOULD HAVE GONE immediately after the appearance of Tarn!

(A little disclaimer: English is not my first language, I make a lot of typing errors and, while I did my best, I’m really not used to write complicated text in English so there’s probably plenty of errors in here. If you find them you are very welcome to notice me and I’ll be happy to add the needed corrections.)

We are left here with Tarn, Strika, Sockwave and Red Alert in the control room of Sentinel’s space ship. -> www.deviantart.com/elis97/art/…

Shockwave cleverly pretends that Red Alert is an Autobot who have defected and that is now on the Decepticon’s side. Red Alert plays along with Shockwave’s lies and Tarn puts her down.

While Shockwave is trying to find a good excuse to leave the spaceship with Red Alert, Waspinator makes his entrance with Jetfire and Jetstorm captive.

Tarn wants to kill them, but Red Alert is able to save the twins by telling the Decepticons that the two were implemented with the unique flight mode ability that only the Decepticons posses, making them very close to an actual Decepticon.

This convinces Strika to pick a side and claim the young boys also adding that it would be nice to have youngsters around again (as almost all Decepticons are now very old).

Tarn is suspicious thought, and asks Red Alert to tell him where the AllSpark is being kept on the ship, which surprises Shockwave to a whole new level.

Red Alert with a perfect poker-face tells him that she was not made aware of the presence of the AllSpark and that she was surprised as well when Sentinel, in order to scare away the Decepticons, told them that he had it and was going to use it.

Tarn gets way too close to Red and Shockwave puts himself between the two trying to calm his friend down, only to realize that, despite having known Tarn since he was Glitch, the but he now sees is a chilling monster.

In the end Waspinator convinces Tarn that it would be quicker to hunt down Sentinel rather than wasting time with them.

The scene changes to the infirmary of the spaceship with Red Alert trying to take care of the jet-twins that are now accusing her to be a traitor like Shockwave.

Shokwave asks her if the AllSpark is actually aboard the ship, Red simply tells him that while she is not sure, the Sentinel could be that stupid.

Shockwave beliving to be able to convert the doctor to his faction, turns into Longarm and thanks Red for letting him go thus giving him a chance to live further his life.

Red Alert jams a bestiary in Longarm’s aye that makes him scream and quickly turn into his real form.

Red Alert is furious, screaming at Shockwave to have some respect for her and stop mocking her.

To Shockwave’s pain, confusion and horror, Red Alert’s eyes turn purple.

A Tarn shaped shadow gets closer to the infirmary door.

Shockwave scared to ask Red Alert if the purple eyes are a result of the truth about Longarm’s identity, but she starts laughing.

Red tells Shockwave that she got the purple eyes during the war against the Decepticons, so many years ago. During a time where she believed she could make a difference, use her abilities to save as many lives as possible, she quickly realised that she was forced to put down way more bots that she was actually saving. That horrible realization, the feeling to be helpless and sacrificable (because all cogs in the big Autobots machines are replaceable like actual charges are) made her desperate, insanely desperate.

Because Cybertron doesn’t have an institution for mental help and support, she was unable to ”heal” from the stress and the trauma of the war and the purple eyes cronicised; all she could do was hitting them with medicines and, sometimes, electronic-paint.

Shockwave realises how much damaged Red Alert actually is as he starts feeling guilty. He tries to hug Red to comfort her, but she back away right into Tarn’s arms.

Shockwave stops dead in terror as he fears that Tarn might have realized the truth about the Autobot, but Tarn is thinking something completely different.

Tarn cuddles and comforts a very freaked out Red Alert, revealing to her that he as well was left scarred and insane by the Autobots and the Decepticons’ war.

He asks with sweet, but insanely purple eyes if she doesn’t have a good idea of where the Allspark might be. Shockwave tries to talk to Tarn but is struck by a kick from the giant Decepticon. Wasp quickly comes by and immobilize Shockwave on the ground. Asking for help is useless, because everyone else is away looking for Sentinel.

Red Alert asks Tarn what he intends to do once he gets to the AllSpark. A soft look from the murderous boy accompanies his words, he wants to kill every Cybertronian in the galaxy, and will use the AllSpark to do so in one single big strike.

Red Alert looks at Shockwave and tells Tarn that the Allspark is in the hangar.

Red Alert and Tarn are walking tours the hangar with Shockwave and Waspinator behind them. Shockwvae tries to talk Tarn out of his madness, but he warns him to shut up or his vocal box will be removed.

Red Alert gently asks Tarn how he will deal with the other Decepticons as they discover what he’s trying to do, but Tarn is not worried, as soon as he gets the Allspark it will be over. That gives Shokwave an idea: opening a transmission between himself and the other Decepticons aboard the ship, he hopes that Tarn will say something that will make Strika and the rest of the team to realize what is going on.

Red Alert continues her conversation with Tarn who starts telling her the story of how he lost his sanity during “The battle of Kaon”, a battle against the Autobots. He explains that all the Decepticons forces were holding their ground inside the fortress of Kaon, trying to fend off the Autobots from entering inside. They were using energy cannons that were running out of steam.

Since the cannons were taking power from a main furnace Megatron ordered to throw inside every scrap of Energon in order to keep them running. Tarn tell that he and Lugnut were in charge of keeping the furnace lit, but when every last battery of Energon finished Megatron ordered the wounded Decepticons to be thrown in.

Tarn didn’t want to do it, but Megatron made it clear that if had he refused the order he was going to be thrown inside as well.

After every single screaming wounded Decepticon was tossed inside the furnace the attack was not over, and so Megatron ordered Tarn e Lugnut to get the weakest Decepticons and use them as well.

For every single soul that got devoured by the flames Tarn lost a bit of his mind, for every time Lugnut precede the death of his comrades as the greatest honor of all, Tarn had to stop himself from screaming in agony.

Shockwave listen in horror and remembers that durung that faitfull day he was at the command of one of the cannons that keept shooting away the Autobots. Deep down, he knew what had appened to those missing decepticons that day, but refused to actually believe at his own tought.

To the other corner of the transmition Strika starts sobbing incapable to believa that his Lugnut could have been part of something so heinous.

After that Tarn continuously revisited that event in his dreams. Endless nightmares of him jamming bolts into the furnace, unable to free himself from the nightmares he became addicted to that horror. Incapable to put his mind to rest, he started to feel the urge to kill.

Tarn is sure that Red Alert can understand how he feels and that’s why he will let her live after having turned her into something similar to Waspinator, as by doing so she will not be hurt by his attack.

Not receiving feedbacks from the other Decepticons aboard the ship, Shockwave is close to panic now that he’s aware of how far Tarn is willing to go, but a glance from Red Alert makes him realise that she has something in mind.

Red Alert tells Tarn that, if she was hesitant to follow his plan at the beginning, she now realises that there is no saving for her specie, that even the younger generation will be corrupted and destined to suffer, so, now that they are in the hangar, the AllSpark is in that box, near the hatch opening.

As Tarn approaches the point with blood thirsty eyes Shockwave realises the plan and with a martial art like move, takes by surprise Waspinator and makes a run for the controls of the opening of the hatches.

Tarn realizes the trick a second too late and the doors opens.

The wasp is blown away immediately as Shockwave grabs onto something to avoid the same end.

He quickly starch out an arm to Red Alert, but not before Tarn is able to catch her free arm.

As Red Alert realizes that Tarn is not going out that easily, she gives a last look at Shockwave who begs her not to do it. Before Tarn is able to get a better hold she lets go of Shockwave’s hand and jams a syringe in Tarn’s arm. They both disappear out of the hangar.

As Shockwave is slowly loosing his grip, Oil Slick has arrived just in time to shut the hatches close.

The two rush to the control room of the spaceship, meeting along the way the rest of the Decepticons that had rushed to help them.

Shockwave directs the ship towards the direction where Red Alert was blown away, saying that Red Alert probably injected the fake death zero into the Tarn and that she’s probably unhurt because the zero takes effect in seconds. Oil Slick grudgingly tells him that a second is more than enough for Tarns to kill someone.

As the headlights find the targets the horror takes shape.

Tarn is frozen and gray, with eyes glaring at the void, her head in his fist, surrounded by spilling Energon that floats around them in a macabre dance.

Shockwave falls on the ground, unable to lie to himself anymore.

The story moves forward a year and several months later, Shockwave is laying on a bed. He talks about when he and Oil Slick got inside Red Alert’s body that, while still had its colors on, the head was squished to a point that the facial features were no longer recognizable. Had he been able to warn her that the other Decepticons were coming to the rescue, maybe things would have gone differently.

His invisible interlocutor answers him that, despite everything, Red Alert still survived even if her memories and a good portion of her personality were wiped away.

He jokes about the fact that the AllSpark was never aboard the ship, but the Sentinel was arrested for violating major protocols, putting in danger his crew and causing the death of Safetrap. -> www.deviantart.com/elis97/art/…

Shockwave becomes sad again, saying that while he’s no longer hurting so much he still wishes thatsRed could remember the good times they had together. While the interactions between Autobots and Decepticons have improved, he still feels lonely and lone like when he was undercover as Longarm.

After a minute of silence the voice reminds him that he’s not lonely and that he will go for a walk with his friend that evening.

The voice reassures Shockwave that every person need his own time to cope with traumatic events and that, despite how he feels, he’s doing a good job.

The session reaches its conclusion and Shockwave says goodbye to his therapist, a tiny human with round glasses.

On his way out a guard checks Shockwave’s documents and, reading that has been authorized to leave the asylum for the evening, lets him out. Oil Slick is waiting for him and happily greets him.

As they walk in the street of Cybertron Oil Slick asks Shockwave how he’s been doing, but Shockwave is quick to change the subject and asks instead how he and his team are doing now that they are back on Cybertron.

Oil Slick tells him that after the accident with Tarn, Strika was furious and wanted to hear the truth about The battle of Kaon from Lugnut and flew the Autobot ship back on Cybertron. He and the rest of the team weren’t allowed to go inside the prison, but Strika went in escorted by Optimus Prime and got her confirmation from Lugnut him. When she got out she was heartbroken and struck a truce with Optimus Prime. From then on there were lots of commotion between the Decepticons lines, some wanted to return to Cybertron and were positive about the new leadership of Optimus Prime, some others weren’t happy and riots rose in all Decepticon’s outposts.

The two get in line to enter into an amusement park, guards at the entrance are making sure that no weapons are introduced inside.

Oil Slick asks Shockwave if he feels weird about the fact that a human was put in charge of his reformation.

His friend answers that it’s called therapy, not reformation, and that since it never existed on Cybertron a system to give boys psychological support, it was only logical to call a species more expert in the field.

Suddenly a familiar voice captures Shockwave’s attention.

A peculiar femmebot is talking to the her friends about the many things that the new Magnus, Optimus Prime is putting in action: amusement parks, innovative distributions of powers, unheard institution were tiny aliens take care of bots with problems, inviting other species to visit Cybertron…

Altought she no longer looks the same, Shockwave recongises Redalert’s voice and way of talking.

He spies her talking some meters in front of them, she’s with Arcee, Ratchet and Ironhide. She looks happy, carefree, full of life.

Oil Slick seems to understand the situation and asks his friend if he wants to go to talk to her, but Shockwave refuses.

At the entrance of the amusement park the guards look at Shockwave with suspicious, asking for his documents again. Not finding anything wrong, they let him in.

Shockwave tells his friend that Red Alert got her memory wiped away and, as a result, the purple eyes disappeared an she became a happier but, he doesn’t want to be part of her new life, not yet and maybe not ever again.

Oil SLick notices that Shockwave’s eye is now purple and realises why he was housed in a mental asylum rather that in a prison. He asks him if Redalert was the reason he got purple eye.

While departing from the rest of the crowd, Shockwave reveals to his friend that after the accident with Tarn he chose to personally bring both Red Alert and Tarn to the hospital, fearing that the Autobots would have been too incompetent to help them without his lead.

As a result, he got arrested and sent to prison. The voice of him being affiliated to an Autobot and a traitor spreads truth the prison, and from that moment, every single Decepticon inside the prison started hating on him.

Oil Slick incredulous asks why Megatron didn’t take his side, considering that he was his most loyal servant.

The fact is that Strika’s intervention put in a bad light Megatron’s leadership. When Shockwave tried to explain to his leader the whole story, Megatron directed his follower’s attention away from his own horrible actions and focussed them over the fact that Shockwave wasn’t able to keep vital information away from the Autobots. So while not directly calling him a traitor he was still accused of such.

Similar to Wasp, after months of being lonely, hated, humiliated and ignored when trying to explain himself, Shockwave developed purple eye. But unlike what had happened to Wasp, Optimus ordered his displacement and had an expert take care of his condition before the purple eye becomes chronic.

Because of this Shockwave is in debt with the Autobots and believes that, leaving Red Aler alone, is a way to pay back the Autobots.

Oil Slick has a different way to see the thing, in his opinion, it’s the Autobots that are paying back Shockwave for having him tortured by Lockdown.

Shockwave doesn’t answer, instead looks back at a now very far away Red Alert.

Turning back again, he tells Oil Slick that he will never forget his gesture of friendship. Oil Slick smiles then, pointing to a stall with his finger, tells Shockwave he hadn’t had cotton-Energon since he was a sparkling. Shockwave giggles saying that he as well, hasn’t had cotton-Energon in a long time.

Red Alert turns her head around to see Shockwave and Oil Slick having cotton-Energon, she smiles tenderly, then returns her attention to her friends.

                           -----------------------------------------------

Now that the story was told I would like to take a moment to simply talk about why I could no longer continue the comic. There are a couple of reasons, one of them is the amount of time that would have taken to finish the bloody thing! And I swear to you that I tried my best to keep it at its bare essential exactly for the fear of it becoming too long.

Another reason is that I didn’t enjoy drawing the characters. As surprising as it might be, I started this project believing that once familiar with the design I would have been able to draw them with ease, which didn't happen. Aside from Shockwave I don’t particularly enjoy drawing TFA style and I bloody hate to color the character because I was always feeling bored and frustrated every time I forgot a particular. That created some major inconsistency in the pages. (and yes, that bothers me a lot)

I believe that the most important reason that prevented me to finish the opera as I wanted is the fact that this story kept changing every time! Aside from the first Chapter the rest kept evolving, changing direction, changing the ending and I was never happy. In the end the biggest problem was simple: I just couldn’t make a happy ending. I really wanted Red Alert and Shockwave to be together, but I simply couldn’t do it, no matter how much I kept changing the story I was never able to make it work, and I have only myself to blame.

In the end, I could never finish the story because I never knew how it was supposed to end, and I passed so much time in between that I simply grow interested in other things, other fandoms, other stories in general.

Life in general was also in the way… as always.

Anyway, while I will never be able to put this story in comic pages I’m happy to be able to tell you how I decided to end it. I am very thankful to all the people who follow the story and left a nice comment under every page and for those people I’m truly sad that I was unable to deliver the whole story in comic format.

Since I know many things were left out in this synopsis, if you have any questions or clarifications, feel free to ask me and I will do my best to answer it.

[ccoccae]

I AM THE BEST ; l.yy  ( ii )

⇘ previous part

That’s it.

You’re absolutely losing your mind.

Liu Yangyang highkey vanished.

It was as if his abrupt leave last Wednesday was his farewell to you ㅡ not that he said goodbye though, tsk.

No but seriously.

You haven’t seen him for a wholeass week. He wasn’t in the hallway running around with that annoying classmate of him named Donghyuck - going around and literally giving their juniors and seniors the unending desire to strangle them then and there, he wasn’t sitting with his group of friends during lunch and you didn’t see him in Music Class when your class came in for a survey.

The two blank documents that you shared with him (which he hasn’t opened by the way) is begging to be typed on to serve its purpose.

Ugh - it’s killing you. You don’t know what to write about and if you did, it won’t be a short story - it will be a fricking five book serie. Yangyang? He has quite a mind. He proposes such good answers and arguments that leave you thinking; if he didn’t hate you so much, you would’ve been debate buddies - and maybe friends.

Hold up, don’t get ahead of yourself.

“Uh- Jeno.” you walk to his table during lunch, finally having the guts to do so. His friends who just got their food glance up at you and you shy away slightly at the attention that you don’t want.

“Hey ____!” He greets you and you smile tightly at him, still feeling the stares of his friends. It’s normal for friends to listen to open conversations that aren’t secretive and rather free - but you kinda wish they would just mind their own business.

But they can’t just do that.

What you didn’t know is that people talk about you. About how you’re almost a dipping flower. You appear and awe people around you unconciously and the moment they blink, you’re gone. But they mostly talk about how you always manage to be placed on top or with Yangyang during German exams. It has them shook.

Yangyang literally MOVED from Germany after living there for 6 years and you haven’t even been there for a mere vacation! You blow people’s minds beyond comprehension and you don’t know it.

“B-by any chance, do you have Liu Yangyang’s phone number..?” Your voice is low and soft, still trying to hide yourself from his friends. “It’s because we haven’t started at the project and I- really- don’t- have any connection with h-him.”

You unconciously play with your fingers, waiting for his reponse that doesn’t take long.

“Iㅡ”

Jeno is interrupted by a pitchy voice that you recognise. “I have his number!”

You turn to the opposite side of the round table to see Lee Donghyuck who has his hand in the air, face bright and smiling sweetly at you. “Do you want it?” He asks, leaning into the table.

“U-uh, yes.. please..”

“Okay, I’ll give it you. But only if you buy me a piece of strawberry cake.” His smile turns to a mischievous one - the change is something you expected. Lee Donghyuck without mischief is not Lee Donghyuck.

You are about to take into his deal until his other friend, whom you believe is named Renjun, smacks his back that you can hear it from where you stand.

“OUCH!” Donghyuck screeches and you hold back a giggle. Jeno pokes your elbow softly, making you turn to him.

“Here.”

[ Come over to my place and let’s get this over with. ] is what Liu Yangyang told you after you accidentally called him. He sent his adress right below all your messages that he just ‘read’.

Ouch. Seenzoned.

Yangyang’s mansion was big - well, mansions are supposed to be big. You didn’t expect Yangyang to be THIS rich. You just got used to the fact that he casually wears a Gucci hoodie during Gym classes.

Right when you stood by the gateway, a gaurd comes up to you with a smile asking, "Are you Young Master Liu's guest?" and you nodded. "Follow me please." Then he escorted you through the gate then to the sandstone driveway to the mansion.

From there, a maid - you assume her to be the head maid due to his cold attitude - greets you in chinese. You swear your mind was rusted when it comes to chinese, but you manage to reply to her politely.

The maid halts infront of one of the many big black doors in the first floor. She doesn't knock and that gives you a mini-heart attack.

"Young Master, please stop playing computer games. Your project partner is here." There goes her cold, monotonous tone sending chills up your spine. You haven't heard someone lack so much passion in speaking.

You bite your bottom lip, unable to think of something to say to Yangyang once you face each other.

Should you say 'Hi Yangyang, let's get to work.'? or 'Liu Yangyang, where have you been?!'?.

You are lost in panicked thoughts that you don't notice the maid telling you can now enter until the worker walks past you to attend to her other duties.

With a deep breath, you cautiously step in the room. Darkness greets you and you eyes search for him. Liu Yangyang.

And he's there.

On his expensive looking gaming chair in front of a set of three monitors. The middle one being a curved screen. Your jaw slack at the sight, eyes trailing to the keyboard constantly glowing with many colors upon clicking.

Liu Yangyang meets your awed gaze, then raising his eyebrow at you - mentally asking why you're still glued in your spot like - the door is open boo.

"Did the maid leave?" Yangyang asks, tone colder for it to be considered a question.

"Uh.. yes.. she did." You answer quietly, above a whisper but loud enough for Yangyang to hear.

"Good," Yangyang turns back to his monitor set, putting his headphones back on. "..close the door behind you and take the study table."

You do as what you're told, closing the door behind you and heading towards the study table situated beside Yangyang's gaming set, but the white leather office chair is situated at the opposite side. So when you sit, you're facing Yangyang to the side.

A notebook is open on the table and you look through it after glimpsing that it's German.

' Eine Mädchen beobachtet einen Mord an einer Familie durch eine Reise in Astral-Zeit. Sie ist nicht sicher, ob sie immer noch verhindert, dass die Ereignisse passieren, aber ihre Vision beweist, dass sie richtig ist. Sie möchte sagen, was sie so nicht gesehen hat, aber niemand wird ihr glauben.'

That was written on the page.

"Is this the story idea?" you ask, picking up the notebook and shows to Yangyang who seems to be doing something in his computer.

Yangyang only glances at the paper then nodding.

"Great. We finally have an idea." You murmur to yourself, placing your laptop after moving Yangyang's macbook aside and turning the study lamp on.

Then you star working, fingers tapping on the keyboard in fast yet smooth motions. Your eyes darting from the notebook then back to your computer. After writing the raw idea, you grab a nearby pen and write down additional ideas to shape the story then transferring them to the document.

'Let's make the murder gruesome.'

'The girl must've been attempting her astral time travelling'

'Make the details of the vision a bit hazy'

Because of your sudden concentrated mood, you don't seem to hear Yangyang's frantic clicking on the keyboard and his mouth commanding his teammates, his eyes trained on the computer and aiming to kill opponents.

Yangyang dies again after being sniped by the opponent Widowmaker for the 5th time during this whole game. He falls back onto the chair in exhaustion, his head dropping to see you still perfectly delved into the task at hand.

He's been playing for almost an hour and a half now while you are still working on forming the plot from the story idea Yangyang literally just wrote when it popped into his mind.

'Why is she rushing?' He thought to himself then the thought of him not showing up to the German classes seems to make him feel a tinge of guilt.

Only a bit.

Without a second tought, Yangyang leaves the game, turning his computer off and placing his headphones down.

He slides himself to sit across your figure while clearing his throat. This made you look up to see him taking out his macbook and starting it up.

Yangyang catches your gaze and sharply asks, "What?" with a sassy raise of his brow.

You rapidly blink, immediately turning your concentration back to the computer. "Nothing. Just surprised you finally decided to come and help.." Your last sentence was low as a whisper, but Yangyang still heard it.

"I'm not completely heartless."

"What do you say if we add another character? Let's say it's the boy's family that was murdered." You ask nonchalantly, suddenly a bit more confined to be able to talk to Yangyang.

This slight change also takes Yangyang aback a bit

"S-Sure.." it's rare to see you confine. You're rather reserved, shy and likes to keep a distance. "But we have to connect him to the main character."

"Let's say he's a transferee and the day he transferred is the say the murder happens." You answer quickly as if you've been expecting the question.

"Let's make it a massacre." You suggest and Yangyang raises an eyebrow. "Let's kill off ALL his family members."

Yangyang chokes in his own saliva at the blunt suggestion.

Him choking makes you blink, realising that you've been too 'businessly talkative'.

"A-are you okay?" You ask, looking around for something that will somehow relieve Yangyang, but finds nothing.

"Just fine."

"Okay.."

Yangyang quickly recovers from his fit and so did the awkward silence that now sits on both of your shoulders.

"I.. like the idea." Yangyang says, opening the document. "There has to be atleast three of his family members. Let's say he has his parents and a younger sister."

"Oh yeah sure." You say, typing it down but seeing as Yangyang has already typed it you click backspace and so did Yangyang. "Ah no - I'll delete mine-"

"I literally just deleted what I wrote." Yangyang groans.

"Sorry- I'll type it again.."

You bite your bottom lip, typing the context.

'Why does she always do that?' the boy questions your habitual demeanor when concentrating.

Your lips are slightly swollen under the pressure of your cute front teeth, your hair pulled up to a bun but a portion of your front hair is layed delicately on both sides of your face - framing it perfectly.

You look up to meet Yangyang's eyes and he immediately looks away - mentally asking himself why in the hecking world did he stare.

The rest of the time they work in silence, only the sound of keyboard keys being pressed and occasional questions about the story plot.

"I have to go now." You announce softly, gathering your things when Yangyang nods in agreement.

Surprisingly, Yangyang follows you to the door. So before leaving, you turn to Yangyang.

"Thanks for bearing with me. I just really want to complete this project." You tell him, sincere eyes shooting through Yangyang's unmoving ones. "Goodbye."

A limousine stops by the entrance and a beautiful woman on her late 40s exits the glossy vehicle, her prada heels landing on the sandstone first.

You immediately bow as soon as you make eye contact. You want to leave, but it will be too rude to do it right now.

"Hello dear." The woman says in chinese, strutting to you who keeps a stable but bright smile. "You must be Yang's project partner?"

"Yes, ma'am. I'm _____." You reply, also in chinese and silently thanking your most hated teacher who atleast teached you something good.

"Oh, impressive." Yangyang's mother coos, turning to her son who stands by the porch looking uninterested. "She's also the one who somehow managed to beat you in german class right, son?"

You tense at the mention of 'german class', instantly averting your eyes onto Yangyang whose jaw clenches at the question. There's a feeling in you that just clenches.

You blink in sudden realization, everything suddenly clearer, having the answer to your questions.

Yangyang hates you for being 'better' than him in German class?

Wow.. you should've seen that coming.

"Isn't she the one who got three straight A pluses while you only got two of them and an A." His mother's words take toll on Yangyang. He doesn't like hearing his failure - especially when it comes from his mother with a tone of disappointment.

You watch as Yangyang cold exterior fall when his head hangs low - unable to hold eye contact with his mother.

"Sorry.." he whispers lowly, fingers fidgeting the back of his shirt.

"Anyways," the older woman turns back to you. ".. how's the project going? Is Yang doing his part?"

"It's doing great, ma'am. Yangyang was actually the one who came up with the story idea." You reply, tone always enthusiastic.

"Only the story idea? Huh. What did you came up with Yang? A boy and his tragic love for his violin? Hahaha."

Yangyang's jaw clenches more, his jawline more prominent than it already is.

"Are you staying for dinner, dear?" She asks you.

"Uh, no ma'am. I'm taking my leave now. Good evening." You bow one last time before turning her back and walking out to the gate.

She spares one last glance to see the woman slapping Yangyang's cheek. The scene made you stop on your tracks, worry washing over you.

Feeling like you're staring, Yangyang meets your eyes and he glares.

'All your fault.' he thinks to himself.

⇘ next part

[multifandom-panda]

HOW CHIBNALL PISSED ME OFF

I have been away from Tumblr for years, but here I am now. The reason for my return is simple: Chibnall pissed me off and Facebook is not the right place for a a rant like the one you are going to read. Posting it on twitter would make more sense, you say? Probably. But I have no time to count words. I will start with why I had high expectantions on Chibanl and then I will explain how he shuttered every single one of them. 

1. When I heard Chibnall was coming after Moffat I was happy. I have always had that twisted relationship with Doctor Who where I loved the adventures, the adrenaline, the jokes, the discoveries, the aliens, but I also loved the feels and angst that came with the Companions and the Master. I had seen Broadchurch, so I “knew” Chibnall, I was sure enough he would not mess around. I was so wrong

2. Female!Doctor. Not a fan. Nu-uh. I have never felt the need for a female Doctor. There were plenty of great female characters in Doctor Who, both in the Classic era and the New era. Every single one of them had their own personality, their own skills and flaws. It was great, because they were actually people. Doctor Who was the first show that I watched where I didn’t get annoyed by female characters. They were strong in their own ways, and that didn’t mean being a super killing machine without special fighting skills. They were real and they were fundamental. Without them the Doctor lost his moral compass and we saw that more than once. So no, I didn’t need a female Doctor, I was alreay represented by amazing women in the show who were not less important than him. Moreover, I have no problem feeling represented by a man, I mean... men are still people, they have feelings and I am capable of understanding that. It’s called empathy. I am not so stupid that I cannot relate to a character only because they don’t have my genitalia. 

3. Lack of imagination. Another problem I have with a female Doctor is the same I have when authors remake characters, when they change gender or ethnicity to a character to give people representation. It’s insulting. You are basically saying that you are not capable of creating a new character for that minority (being women, an ethnic group or disabled people) without using a pre-existing character. It means that in your head, to detach yourself from the negative stereotypes, you need a white male model because you are not able to imagine a minority character without those flaws on your own.

4. Companions: Graham was fun compared to Ryan and Yaz, but if we compare the Companions to the older ones, the new ones lose. And lose real bad. They left me nothing. They characterization is non-existent, they follow the Doctor and that’s it. Ryan should have disability but it appears only when the screenwriter remembers. Meh. I don’t have much to say about them, they really didn’t left any impression on me. I was not fond of Martha and I can list reasons why, I couldn’t stand Clara and I can go on 30 minutes saying why. These new ones are just... meh.

5. The Doctor. I didn’t see him... her... them. Let’s start with a note: I saw Jodie in Broadchurch and I didn’t like her there, so when I found out she was going to be the new Doctor, I was not amazed. If it had to be a woman, I would have preferred someone else, but anyway. This Doctor didn’t have any special features, it just looked like an hyped 10 or 11, but without their depth. Kind is an adjective, not a character trait. I feel that her character was not studied enough, she didn’t have enough depth. It got better with the beginning of this new season but honestly? You can’t be able to write a character properly only when they face their nemesis. 

6. The episodes. Oh. My. God. The first season of this new Doctor was a series of episodes that looked like they jumped out of the 60s. Teaching people through an entertainment show doesn’t mean you have to take the show, make an episode on whatever the problem you want to discuss is and make some sort of documentary about it. It means you try to explain to people through fun, adventures, analogies... those who watch DW now are not 6 years old. They know that if you show them a genocide on another planet with segregation, spaceships etc, you are telling them not to be racist assholes. They do not need Rosa Parks to give them a lecture. Episode in which appears a villain with an unkown objective and we don’t see ever again, but ok. 

7. The cherry on top. The timeless children. What. The. Actual. Fuck. So Chibnall just decided to take 60 years of TV show and toss it into the garbage can, right? That was the purpose, right? Because otherwise I don’t see it. So the Doctor is a creature from another planet, not Gallifrey, who can regenerate. The Gallifreyan see them, think “oh nice” and go all Frankenstein on them. Noice. I have just a teeny tiny itsy bitsy problem with that. And for one I mean so many that they are more than the leaves on the trees in the Amazon forest. You are nullifying “End of time”, “This is Gallifrey”, the 50th anniversary... moreover Clara saw their past, she would have seen that something was off. They can’t remember? Fine. But it’s still there, it’s not like they transplanted their brain. 

8. The name of the Doctor. The big secret. The name that must never be spoken. The name that was keeping the universe together... and they revealed it like that. Brendan? Really? The name of the Doctor was a legend, you were not supposed to name them for real! Brendan? SERIOUSLY?

9. Doctor and Master. They were friends since they were kids. They grew up together. They studied together. They went on adventures together. They lost friends together. They grew apart and they kept fighting each other... but they were best enemies. Ok, a couple of times one really killed/let the other die, but go back to the beginning and count those times. They were two faces of the same coin, getting on each other nerves and saving each other over and over again. For the Doctor, the Master was the only other Time Lord in the universe for so long he was willing to pardon a genocide to save him (more than once). Their relationship was based on the fact that in a way they were complementary: the Master has no restraints, while the Doctor tries to be good when they both have done so many terrible things (including genocide, eh Doctor? You are not so innocent, honey). Their relationship was beautiful and painful. And it went down the drain. You are telling me that the Doctor is a superior being, they are not equals anymore, they are not two faces of the same coin, they are not even the same species so what are we talking about? And the coldness of the Doctor while she lets him die? Who the hell are you?

TL;DR Chibnall took a character I loved from a show I loved and torn it apart. The season and the characters were not written as I expected, I mean that they were 2D version of themselves, no depth there. Nothing interesting. I think he tried too much all at once: female Doctor, 3 companions, one shot episodes. Man, pick one thing you want to change and stick with it. You already have to run a show you have never run before, so you have to understand how to make it work. 4 characters are difficult to handle all at once and at the same time give them all the right space, depth and characterization in seasons that have less than 15 episodes each.

I am so pissed. I didn’t appreciate Jodie, but in a little corner of my mind I had always tought I would come back to Doctor Who once she was gone, but that’s not possible anymore. Funny thing is, this show made me meet the majority of my friends, the people with whom I started hanging our 6 years ago. We would have never met without DW probably. I kind of feel robbed now.

[slytherin-days]

Detention was not that bad... Snape X Reader [NSFW]

Sorry for my English, I try my best but I think I still have some spelling mistakes hahah. Hope you like that one, and please support me if you want me to keep on writing that kind of Fics <3

It was 7:00 a.m. in the morning. Alarm clock rang so loud, making you wake up from your dreams. That sound rumbled in your head so hard, making you feel so unconfortable. Maybe it was not a good idea beeing awake until so late last night, drinking butter beer and smoking with your friends, trying not to be caught by the Masters. You reached the clock with your hand, making it stop ringing. Later you heard someone. It was Lena, your best friend. She told you something. You said yes to her, without listening any word from what she said. You heard a lot of noise, but soon all is calmed down again and everything you could hear was silence. Lately, you woke up again. You got up and looked at your friend’s bed, wanting to wake her up, but you got surprised she was not there. Actually, there was anyone in the room yet. You looked at the clock. It was almost 8:00 a.m. 

You jumped from your bed so nervous. You had 15 minutes until your Potion’s lesson started. You knew very well Severus Snape, the Potion’s Master, and you knew how strict he was, specially with puntuality. You knew very well that was going to cost you points from your house. You quicky ran to the bathroom and had a quick shower. You put on your clothes fast and brushed your hair. You took your books in your hand and ran fast across the corridors trying not to be late. But you failed.

It was 8:05 when you reached the classroom and the lesson had already started. You opened the door quietly trying not to make any noise so Snape could not notice you had just arrived. As soon as you showed your head out the door, Lena pointed at the sit next-to her, letting you know she had a sit for you. Snape was so concentrated in his explanations that you thought he was not going to notice. You walked inside the classroom carefully, it seemed your plan was working, but as soon as you reached your sit...

- Not so fast, Ms. Y/N... I thought that I made it quite clear that my class starts at 8:00 a.m. - Snape said turning around and staring at you, while all the class turned around too to see what was happening. 

- I’m so sorry Professor, I just overslept... It won’t happen again, I promise... - You said expecting the worse.

- Ten points from Slytherin. I do not make exceptions... Even if it is one student from my house. - Snape was looking you so deep that you felt a little bit unconfortable with the situation.

You sat down next-to Lena and put your books on the table, looking down embarassed. 

- And I think you will stay for detention after class, so you will learn not to be all night fooling around the corridors with your friends.

You agreed with your head and then looked at Lena. You promissed her you were going to spend the day with her just to finish some work together. 

- I’m sorry Lena - You said in a sad tone.

- Don’t worry, It’s OK. We can meet after your detention - Lena said with a smile.

The class was eternal for you. Although you liked Potions and you were pretty good at it, you were angry because you knew you had to stay there for who knows how many hours doing whatever Snape ordered to you, while your could be with your friends, finishing homework but having a good time. During the class, you cound notice how Snape looked at you more than normal. You could feel his deep eyes fixed on you all the time, while you were preparing your potion. It was a very strange feeling. At first it wa so annoying, but then that feeling changed. You kinda liked being watched like that by your Professor and a couple of times you looked him back to see what happened, but he still stared at you. Hours passed and the class fnally arrived to its end. 

- See you later at the common room, Y/N. Good luck. - Said Lena. 

Everyone got out the classroom unless you, you staid sitting at your place, while Snape was at his desk, writing something. You staid like that many minutes, waiting him to tell you what you had to do. For a moment, you tought your detention would consist in having you sitting there for hours, bored while he stared at you with his black eyes. But suddendly he spoke. 

- Stand up. - He said in a rough tone. - Stand up and come here...

You immediately obeyed. You started walking though the classroom, straight to his desk. You didn’t know why, but you started to feel so nervous, and that was reflected on the way you moved.

- I don’t have all day, Ms. Y/N! - Said Snape, raising his voice. 

Your steps turned faster and you soon reached his desk. You staid in front of him, looking at the floor and waiting him to order you something. 

- I think you know the reason for that detention was not only for the incident that happened today... Look at me when I talk to you!

You raised your look. Snape had just stood up from his chair and was walking until he was in front of you. You looked at him with a worried face, and waited for next. 

- I know very well why were you late this morning. I know that were you doing yesterday night... And I think I have to remind you that boys and girls must stay in different rooms... Even if you all want to drink and smoke.

- But Professor, I promise we did nothing... nothing more than have a great time and laugh all together. It won’t happen again, I promise. - You said really nervous, scared that they expelled you from the school.

- Silence!!! - He shouted at you. - And that way you are dressing? What is that?! it is unacceptable to wear such a short skirt!! Everyone can see your underwear when you sit down... Everyone including me. 

You gulped. Then you understood why he was staring at you during all the class. You had always been kind of provocative with your style, you liked to seduce students from all the houses for next, leaving them with that desire (not always was like that, obviously), but that had never worked on a teacher. Anyway, that was not your purpose. Snape got closer to you. He raised his hand fast, you closed your eyes thinking he was going to slap you on your face, but for your surprise, he caressed your cheek with one of his fingers. 

- Naughty girls like you deserve to be punished... - whispered Snape. And soon he was giving you a rough wet kiss. 

You felt his tongue inside your mouth as his lips rubbed yours. That was probably the hottest kiss you ever had. For your surprise, you found yourself kissing him back, as you moaned in his mouth. His hands were under your skirt, grabbing your ass with force and slappioing  it as he bite and sucked your mouth. It seemed he was going to eat you all right there. He removed your sweater and opened your shirt for then setting aside your bra, in order to see your breasts. He gave you a lustful smile and began to touch them, for next sucking your nipples and biting them. It hurted, but you loved that feeling. You moaned in pleasure and soon Severus turned you around and made you rest against his desk. He put your skirt up and removed your panties. He caressed your ass with his hands for a moment and then you felt how he stopped. Soon he took his want in his hand and started slapping your ass so hard with it. You screamed loud as you felt the wood agains your cheeks. 

- Shut up bitch! That’s what happens to dirty girls... That’s what happens when you walk round dressed like a slut provoking! - And he slapped your ass again. 

He continued like that for a while. It was really strange for you, it was painful but you loved it. You loved the way it felt everytime it touched your cheeks, you loved the fact Snape had control and you had to obey everything he said. You felt how your pussy was shaking everytime he slapped you, and you could feel your juices spread down your legs.

- You are such a dirty witch... You are enjoying your punishment, aren’t you? Do you want me to fuck you Ms. Y/N? Do you want it?

- Yes, Professor - You said, while you moaned.

- Beg for it, bitch. Beg for my cock inside you - Snape said as he licked your ear from the behind.

- Please fuck me Professor, I’ve been a bad girl - You moaned, wanting him inside of you so bad. 

Then you felt the tip of his dick at your entrance, rubbing your inner lips. 

- Thake that, slut - And he entered you suddendly, fast and rough. You felt how your pussy was opening, leting him inside. He had a large size, you you let out a shout of pain. 

Snape started moving fast, without any mercy, ignoreing your shouts, but soon that pain started to turn into pleasure. The strongest pleasure you ever had in your life. He was so experienced, he knew very well how to move. You moaned loud as he kept on fucking you hard from the behind, while we pulled your hair and kissed an sucked your neck. Suddendly he stopped and lied on the desk.

- Ride me. I want to see how you move - He ordered you while accommodated on the desk with his erect large dick waiting for you.

Without thinking it twice, you jumped on the desk and positioned  on him. You slowly went down, making him adjust to you. You began to move slowly, feeling every inch of him inside while he accompanied you grabbing your hips, but soon you were riding him like mad. You could hear the sound of your skin hitting his while you both moaned in pleasure and kissed each other. You boobs bounced to the rhythm of your movements, and you both arrived to the point where you could not hold it anymore.

- Come for me, bitch... Be a good girl and obey your Professor - Moaned Snape, grabbing you from your neck.

 Severus surrounded you with his arms, pulling you close to him, and kissed you hard while you both got into an intense orgasm that made you come together. You recovered from the experience as soon as you head people at the corridor. You put on your clothes and walked to the door. 

- Ms. Y/N - Snape called you. - You should take that - he said as he gave you a flask with some purple potion in it. 

You looked at him not understandig. 

- Believe me girl, is better you take it soon if you don’t want... an accident to happen... - He caressed you face, and walked outside the classroom. 

[lonewolfwriter]

A Taste Of Hazel Chapter 9 (A Zootopia fan-story)

Nick woke up early, he always did, it was the awesome thing about being a fox.

He was not the only one awake, he could clearly hear the “clink” of glasses downstairs being moved around and the magnet strips of the fridge doors slapping shut every few minutes.

“God does she ever sleep?”

He dragged himself from the nice warm cover of his bed sheets and made his way to the small bathroom, the room Pricilla had given him wasn’t grand by any stretch but it was cozy and safe feeling, and was a million times better than being the bum on a seat.

The blanket was thrown over Nicks shoulders and he sported only his boxers. He got to the small medicine cabinet in the outdated bathroom and gently brushed his paw over his cheeks and chin, a shave and clean up was definitely in order.

He began to fill the sink with water and splashed his face several times taking out an electric razor and getting to work, he brushed his face in the small towel he had bought with his clothes yesterday and looked into the mirror to see what almost resembled a dashing middle aged fox.

He smiled at himself and the reflection smiled back he; reached a paw out and placed it on the mirror and for the longest moment just starred.

He jumped when there was a banging at the door.

“Hello?” he called from the bathroom.

“Hey Nickie it’s just me sweetie, just making sure you haven’t hung yaself in der”.

Nick chuckled, but didn’t know whether or not she was serious.

“Still alive!” he shouted out to her.

“That’s good sweetie, look, I know you’re not meant to work right now but can you give me a hand changing the kegs downstairs in the cellar, they are heavy to boot”.

“Do you ever sleep?” replied Nick looking at the bedside table and the time of the morning.

“Nope, meet you downstairs sugar”.

“Be there in a minute”

Nick heard her walking away as the floorboard creaked.

He get dressed in nice black shirt and sported some casual cargo pants, he came down stairs rolling his sleeves up ready to help Pricilla.

“Okay, where these kegs at” he asked looking around, only to see Pricilla sitting at a table with bowls of food sitting in the middle. Scrambled eggs, toast with lobs of butter, blueberry pie, and other assortments lay on the table.

Nick stopped halfway through rolling his sleeves up, there was no kegs, there was no work to be done, Pricilla got up early to make him breakfast.

Pricilla noticed the silence and looked to the food “I tought you might be hungry, didn’t wana ask when ya last real meal was, so I wiped together some of the good stuff in the kitchen hopin youd like sometin I put out”.

Nick gingerly placed his paw on the spine of the chair in front of him and took a seat his eyes locked on Pricilla then down to the unbelievably delicious looking delicacies in front of him, his eyes unable to move and his body frozen.

Pricilla noticed a saddening look in Nickie and pried “What’s wrong sweetie?” She asked placing her palm on his closest forearm trying to get him to look at her.

Nick hastily made eye contact with her, his brow creased in confusion and heartbreak.

“Why are you doing all this for me?” he asked, as if her making him breakfast was the equivalent of dying for his sins.

“Because, there isn’t an ounce of bad in you Nicholas Wilde, not a single drop, and I’ve known dat from de first day you walked in ere”

Nick simply nodded thinking deeply on her words.

Nick smiled at her as he raised a spoonful of cheerio’s to his mouth and cheered her with it taking the first bite of an unbelievable diverse banquet.

Nick finished breakfast and sat slouched in his chair his paws resting on his belly.

“Ugh, I’m stuffed, where did you learn to cook like that?”

Pricilla giggled as she cleared the table, “Well after my husband left me for a young better looking broad, I had to fend for myself, didn’t have many other things I was good at, but hey I’m a Hippo, so I know good food, ever heard the saying as big as a Hippo?”

Nick chuckled as he continued to listen.

“Well anyways, I could pour a beer and make a feed and so when we divorced and I got my settlement I opened dis ere bar, I never ad much faith in my own abilities, me hubby was always debasing me and making me feel worthless, but den dis place, it took off you know, people love coming ere for karaoke and I love being a part of people’s parties and fun it worked out well”.

“What about him?” asked Nick.

“Last I heard, his Gal left him for another Hog and he ended up taking the easy way out”.

Nicks face turned to shock.

Pricilla just shrugged “Ya win some ya lose some Nickie”

“Is that why you were worried about me last night?”

Pricilla smirked, walked over and placed her hoof on Nicks shoulder awaiting his eyes contact and when she got it she explained “No, I checked on you last night for a different reason....you see Nickie there are two types of people  those who take their life when they are hurt bad, like my ex husband. The second Nickie…. The second is why I checked on you, the second ones they take their life just when things are starting to get better, they do it like that, because they think if it gets better again, that sooner or later it will go back to being bad, and they don’t want to live with that feeling ever again, that lonely...lonely feeling”.

Nick knew the words were for him, she wanted him to think long and hard, that is why she had waited for his eyes contact.

“But you’ll never be alone Nickie” Trust me she said with a smile while she picked up Nicks plates; that’s when Nick noticed it, faint and barely visible, fading scars riddled up the arm of Pricilla. Nick looked to the scar then to Pricilla, who didn’t seem ashamed or shy away she just starred at them also while addressing Nick.

“It always gets better Nick”.  

There was a long silence as Pricilla placed the plates in the sink to clean; “Now get outta here Nick, you have work tonight, I suggest you get some sleep, I hear you up there last night I know it’s tough to sleep here sometimes, but last night was quiet”.

Pricilla was right the music from the jukebox the night before and the constant sound of other animals talking and laughing made Nick anxious and made it hard for Nickie to sleep, but he didn’t care, according to Pricilla last night was a quiet night and perhaps he just needed to get use to it.  

Nick got up from the table and made his way to the door, the words of Pricilla echoed his mind and made him truly thought provoked, he couldn’t shake what she said, but he knew where he was going, he was going to make things better.

He reached the park that he had slept in for so long, he checked his watch, he didn’t have much time, he went to run, when the sound of a bus behind him honking grabbed his attention, and he saw it the red ears of a Vixen inside the bus.

“No, I’m too late” he cursed, annoyed at himself for dawdling on the way. He kicked a rock and placed his hand in his pockets walking through the park, he knew where his body was going, straight to his usual seat, he got to his old home and placed his rump down on the park bench, grumbling to himself about how stupid he was.

He sat there alone for along time, until he felt the bench vibrate.

His thoughts became interrupted when he saw someone sit next to him out of his peripherals, his heart skipped a beat and he instantly felt sick, he looked over to her and she was trying hard not to make eyes contact.

It must have been another Vixen who had been on the bus, because as large as life, the one who had been so kind to Nick sat beside him, trying hard not to make eye contact also.

She just held her bag looking around at seemingly nothing. However she sported two coffees in a tray and was alone.

Nick placed his paw together, he could feel beads of sweat on his palms and forehead, he could feel his heart pounding and his breath going rigid, and his paws shook slightly, he thought for sure she could see his bodies extremely nervous reaction, however what he didn’t know was that she was afraid he would see her paws shaking and her heart pounding and her breath coming out in rigid waves also.

The two turned to one another and made eye contact, Nick was a deer in the headlights and Hazel was no different.

Hazel was shocked; Nick was all cleaned up and was one of the most handsome creatures she had ever laid eyes on. “Why would someone who looked like this ever want me?” she thought darkly to herself. She thought him genuinely good looking when he was rough, but now cleaned up, she felt like a mite on the back of a dog in comparison.

Nick looked at this vixen and for the first time ever Judy was nowhere in thought, good or bad, she simply seemed to vanish from his mind.

Nicks breathing had become so rigid, his world began to spin, he felt lethargic as if all energy was sapped form his body.

“What the hell?” he thought to himself; his body betraying him, he felt like he had just gone through the police cadetship fitness test seven times in an hour.

His fur stood on end at the back of his neck, similar to when he was shot by night howler. He twisted his neck and shook his head, “what’s happening to me” screamed his thoughts.

Hazel, who could feel the all too familiar feeling of warmth across the small of her nose and through her muzzle, turned to Nick to speak to him, when she noticed he had gotten up and was already several steps away.

Hazels mouth slowly shut and she let out a small whimper, “What did I do?” she asked, the warmth in her nose completely disappearing. She waited for him to return and when he didn’t and the coffee was cold she walked it to the bin dropping it in and walking home, she didn’t feel like writing today...

Nick walked to the edge of the park, his world was spinning, he whistled loud and a cab pulled up, he basically fell into the cab and threw $50.00 into the cab drivers lap, “get me to the medical centre” he pleaded.

Nick got to the centre and ran as fast as his shaky leg could take him into the medical centre and stumbled his way over to the reception.

“F…Fr…Fray…Dr Fray…” he huffed and puffed.

“Sir what’s the problem?” asked the receptionist.

Nick grasped at his chest “Ppp please… I need to see the Doctor, I can’t breathe…” he stated placing his other paw on the bench, it’s shake was unstoppable.

The receptionist saw his paw and began to freak; out picking up the phone.

“Yes…Fray, you have a client out here. Yes. What’s your name?”

“-…Nick…” he choked out, his chest tight and sore.

The lady put down the phone.

“Nick, the doctor will be-“

Before she could finish the door opened and Fray stood there with a worried look on her face “Nick what’s wrong?”

Nick ran to her grabbing her by the wrist and going into the doctor’s office, he let go of her wrist once the door was shut and fell back onto the chair unbuttoning his shirt to unveil his fit body and chest to Fray who was a little shocked at first that Nick was still so fit.

“Fray something’s wrong… I can’t breathe…”

Fray pulled up a wheelie chair stopping in front of Nick and instantly began going to work placing her stethoscope hastily to his chest, checking his eyes and ears.

“I thought you immunised me to everything…is..is it the bullets? Is it my injuries, what’s wrong with me Fray I’ve never felt like this before?” he quizzed frantically one question after the other, making his shortness of breath worsen.

Within moment Fray knew what was wrong; Frays paw became relaxed and grin crossed her face and she gently laid her paw on Nick’s forehead, she then looked at Nicks back and how his hair was on edge, her stethoscope lay cold gently pressed to where his heart is.

She chuckled lightly

Nick looked down his nose at her, “How could she be laughing at time like this?” he thought, his breath still unbelievable tense.

“What’s….so …funny” he questions through each breath.

Fray saw the red across his face, she saw the sweat and the shake, she saw exactly what was wrong.

Fray had a cheeky smirk on her face and it made Nick evermore confused. “What?” asked Nick trying hard to control his breathing, his vision had become like a light had just been turned on, everything was fuzzy and slightly moving.

“Nick where have you been?”

“What?”

“Where have you been this morning?”

“I ….Had breakfast… then went to the park….”

He mentioned the park and again his chest went off, Fray listening intently to his heartbeat.

“ye-huh, And who was at the park?”

“Huh?”

“Who were you meeting at the park…?” she repeated

“How do…. you…know I was meeting someone?” quizzed Nick, confused by all her questions basically coughing to get the words out.

“Nick, you’re not sick….you’re not dying… it’s not the bullets…”.

“Then what?” breathed Nick feeling like he had just woken up everything was a blur and a daze.

“I don’t want to say you’re on ‘heat’, because that’s not the right words, but you’re having… What I refer foxes to having as a… Velvet bow tie”.

“Huh?”

“You know meeting your lifelong?”

“Wah?” asked Nick with complete confusion

Fray rolled her eyes “God Nick didn’t you have parents…”

Nicks eyes shifted to the left and went sad for a moment.

Fray shut her eyes realizing what she said was horrible. Nick’s father, Tyrone had been the bane of his existence and the cause of his misery for the last year, a criminal, a murderer and his mother passed during his teenage years after he had run away from home.

“Nick…” she began “You are in love”.

Nick took a deep breath trying really hard to compose himself “like…Judy in love?”

Fray grabbed Nick by the muzzle and pulled him eye to eye “Not even close buddy. You are having a velvet bow tie moment Nick, it’s the nickname we give when foxes find their….you know…soul mate… their life partners…lifelongs”.

“Soul mate…?”

“You may be evolved but you are still monogamous by nature… This is probably why what Judy did hurt so much”.

“But… I love Judy…” he explained, his heart momentarily hurting for a different reason.

“Give this time Nick….Judy won’t even feel like a blip on the radar in comparison to this”.

“Velvet bow tie?” he confirmed

Fray sat in the chair folding her arms and nodded with a cheeky teenager style smile.

Finnick was the closest thing Nick ever had to a father and Nick remembered once Finnick had spoken of a Vixen he had met and that something shifted inside him, it made him so uncomfortable he simply pushed the Vixen away and lived alone. Nick knew this was the feeling Finnick spoke of. Nick always thought Judy had taken a hold of this, but the more he thought about it, that seemed like childlike crush in comparison.

Nick got up, his knees shaking and his body covered in sweat.

“I can’t meet her like this, I can barely walk!” he explained kind of angrily, gesturing to his legs

“Who is she?” pried Fray giving Nick a nudge with her elbow to the ribs and raising her eyebrows.

The small nudge feeling as though it was going to bowl Nick over. “I don’t even know…”

Fray raised an eyebrow, “How interesting”.

“I saw her dance once, she brought me a coffee…she defended me…. God Fray this feels awful!” he concluded sitting back down and putting his face into his paws.

Fray leaned forward placing her paw on his shoulder “Only a very select set of animals go through this Nick, you’re a fox and unfortunately foxes go through this, like I said you are monogamous by nature, but you’re wrong about the feeling, if you stop fighting it, it will be the most beautiful thing you could ever imagine, you are very luck Nick”.

“Lucky? How can I even talk to her?”

Fray smiled, but smiled as though she was hiding more information that was crucial to Nick “You might not have to” there was a pause and her smile turned sinister “I don’t doubt with your looks that she is probably going through the same thing…” Frays eyes dancing up and down Nick.

“Really?” he asked breathing deeply and trying to hold in the breath. While contemplating how such a lovely Vixen could ever feel like this over him.

“Really, Now get out of here you scared the shit out of me running in here clenching your chest, I have other patients you know!”

Nick nodded taking several deep breathes before he stood up and made his way to the door.

“Thanks again” said Nick still breathing like he had just drowned.

“Go get em tiger” yelled out Fray after him, letting out a jestful hiss.

Nick dismissively waving to her over his shoulder without looking having no energy to return fire.

[littlenephilim999uriel]

Imagine being Joffreys little sister and Promised to Robb Stark. But you fell in Love with his Brother Jon Snow... The Betrothal is sudden and unexpected and you act like you are happy but sneak out later to find snow on the outside shooting down targets with more arrows than necessary and you two kiss even though it is forbidden in more then just one way.

I am sorry for not uploading more stories... it is hard to sit down and write story after story because if you want a good one you at least need 3 Hours... soooo... Here is a little "Fill Up" till my Assassin's Creed Fanfic comes up.. should only be one or two days more.. even though I am sure I've lost most of my followers... WELP! Whatever here it is! For a long time no one knew but Joffrey had a half sister. (Y/N) Lannister to be exact... she had the same strinking blonde hair as him an Tommen but (E/C) eyes that outshone even the brightest star. No she wasn't a Bastard... actually her mother was married to the king before he married Cercei and left her behind. (Y/N) never knew who her father was till she turned 16. He Mother decieded she was old enough to know now and tol her everything. And then the girl did something not very clever... she confronted the Prince and the Queen with this. At first they didn't belive her and wanted her head on a spike... but there was enough prove to save her from that fate. Cercsei never liked her... didn't want her in the Castle but Joffrey seemed to have grown fond of her and when he was king he took her back in and she finally was allowed to wear the Name Lannister... That was two years ago. (Yeeesh I know Joffrey dies but here he lives for two more years! Pssssht I somehow like this dude and I need him for the Story so...)

It came as a surprise to everyone... and I mean everyone as Joffrey suddenly announced the Betrothal between (Y/N) Lannister and Robb Stark. Why you ask? Because that way he can get a Lannister into the Starks Home, hoping he can controll them like that. (As if that worked... <.< ) This announcement came so sudden (Y/N) choked on her drink. Robb didn't look very pleased but he didn't look surprised eather. 'This little Bastard knew already?!' (Y/N) thought to herself. Even though the tought of Marrying a Lanniste made Robb cringe... (Y/N) was indeed very beautiful and the marriage took many good things with it as well. So who was he to deny a beautiful women with a strong influence? Of course he wished to get to know her.. she may be a Lannister but (Y/N) had a kind heart and he knew that... he wanted to make sure she'll be happy.

After the sudden Annoucements shock had sunk in she suddenly realized what the hell just happened. Saddnes started to grow in her head at the thought of yet another wall seperating her from the men she loved dearly... Her eyes quickly scaned the room searching for this certain men. This men of course was noone other then Jon Snow. After a few seconds her (E/C) eyes locked with his. The girl suddenly was at loss... what should she do? Just smile? Or start to cry..? But Jon was faster as he bowed swiftly and left the hall. (Y/N)'s eyes slowly started to get watery as she tried her best not to cry. As she then met Robb Starks eyes, he gave her a soft smile wanting to reassure her he won't hurt her. Not wanting to show her true feelings she gave him a small smile but tore her eyes away again.

The whole evening was horror for her. After some time Robb was allowed to sit beside her.. he even got her a ring which she out of courtesy, of course wore. Everyone congratulted them... everyone seemed excited about the Wedding.. everyone except for the bride. (Y/N) suddenly got up, earning a confused glance from Robb. "This is getting quiet Fuzzy. Would you mind if I'd excuse myself for a few Minutes?" (Y/N) asked politely. Robb nodded slowly. "Shall I accompany you My Lady?" He asked in a gentle voice, understanding the stress of the sudden situation she was in. "I'd like to have some time to think... I hope you don't mind." He only nodded at that and continued with the festivities.  What she told him of course was a big lie... she only wanted to go looking for Jon. But she couldn't really just say that, now could she? Luckyly she found him pretty quickly. He was on the trainingsfield, turning the target into a Cheese with all the arrows. She slowly approaced him but he seemed to have noticed her already. "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be celebrating?" He said quietly his back still facing her. "If you are talking to me at least turn my way and look at me Jon." (Y/N) huffed annoyed. Jon slowly turned around but still avoided her eyes making frustrated. "What? You never gonna look at me again?" She snapped somewhat hurt by his antics. "He already gave you a ring huh?" It sounded more like a statement then a question. "Yes he did. And?" Jon shook his head at that. "Go back before they miss you to much." With that said he turned around to walk away yet again.

"Don't you DARE walking away again Jon Snow! I come here all the way looking for you so you better not leave me standing here!" (Y/N) Called after him. Jon stopped shortly in his tracks but then kept on walking. (Y/N) clenched her fists into her dress. 'Now or never..' She thought taking a breath. "How can you treat me like that? Just walking away and leaving me standing here... are you..- are you that blind to not see how FU**ING MUCH I LOVE YOU!?" He voice echoed around the field making Jon stop yet again. As the words fell from her lips his heart stopped for a second. But he knew... she was Betrothed to his brother and a Lannister and he was a Bastard and a Men of the Nights Watch... there were so many rules against his feelings and he knew how wrong they were... He snapped back around and furrowed his brows at her. "You do not love me! You are confused right now... but that's okay. No one shall ever hear about this don't worry." The glare she sent him made him flinch slightly. Of course she glared often but it never was meant for him... till now. "What in seven hells are you talking about?!" Jon sighed at that. "You are feeling confused and need someone to keep you on your feet but-?!" Jon was cut short by her soft lips on his. While he was trying to look for an excuse (Y/N) had stalked over and pulled him in for a kiss. Jon quickly got over his shock and pushed her away. "Have you gotten insane? This is-?!" Determited to show him how much she loved him she kissed him yet again. Jon was tempted to give in... but he restained himself and took a step away again. "(Y/N) stop this nonsense!" "Then stop running away from your feelings!" She hissed back. Taking a step fowards again she literally threw her arms around his neck and kissed him again. Jon could feel his heart beating... he knew it was wrong in so many ways and yet... he still felt himself kissing her back. As she felt him kissing back, (Y/N) smirked slightly and pulled back this time to look at him. "Jon, this is no nonsense.. my Feelings for you are no lie or caused throughtough any confusion. I Love you, truly." This time Jon surprised her as he pulled the girl closer again and this time kissed her. A soft gasp left her at that, which Jon used to slide his tounge into her mouth. Time seemed to stop and everything that mattered were Jon and (Y/N). But a sudden shout made both of them pull back startled. "(Y/N)?! Where are you?" A voice called. (Y/N) recognized this one as Joffrey. Unsure of what to do she just stood there when Jon suddenly pulled her with him underneath the balcony where Joffrey couldn't see them. After a while the footsteps faded away. (Y/N) let out a giggle as she looked up at Jon who still held her close. He looked paniced but after he saw her smile he started to tear up smiling as well. "You really are going to be the end of me..." Jon mumbled into her neck as he placed his forehead on her shoulder. "How so?" (Y/N) asked gently petting his head. "You just made me break around 4 Rules that could make me lose my head..." The girl kissed the side of his head. "I won't let that happen." She whispered in his ear. Jon knew what he did and he knew it was wrong and forbidden. But he also knew he would never give up on her... he couldn't give up on her anymore.. not after this everning. It'll get complicated but they'll manage it.. right? Jon let out a sigh letting all this thoughts go for now.. he can worry about it later. He then spoke in a soft and mumble to her: "How dare you just stealing my Heart, Damn Lanniter..." This earned a playfull hit on the chest from his new found Lover. He chuckled softly at that. "I Love you too... (Y/N)."

[drifts-or-stays-blog]

Thing I wrote (might be repetitive)

In January 2017, I began to think that something was wrong. What happened to make me question ? -I ate less and lost considerable amounts of weight in such a short time that people noticed. Thinking of eating gave me stomach aches but somehow I felt more confident with my body since I became chubby at the beginning of puberty. (Apart from the fact that my stomach cried for help in the middle of class which was quite embarassing and made me worried) -Nightmares every single night that would be more or less disturbing or horrific. Still, some might stick with me for days on end and I can’t even begin to explain them since they’re all different from one another but all have the same effect. Every night is a lot to handle and was extremely overwhelming. I couldn’t concentrate at all in class the day after. -Oversleeping and insomnia : I tried to understand my insmonia and ended up writing two pages about it so I won’t be able to share all of it. It was either because I was scared of nightmares, because I didn’t want to take the shortcut to tomorrow, because I simply didn’t care and it all went to a point where I couldn’t sleep altogether, at least not until morning or a nap in the afternoon (or with the help of alcohol). Oversleeping was due to emotional and physical fatigue or the fact that I had zero energy and lots of free time because I didn’t study (or very little when we had to, i’m in boarding school btw, a not very strict one) -Unhealthy amounts of loathing, I can’t begin to explain it but if you’re here, you know what I’m talking about (or I would hope so) -Really unhealthy toughts : which were the main trigger of me questioning myself in January. I can remember the exact day it happened, on the 14th of January, it’s the weekend and we’re in a bus heading to Italy for the day. All I can think about is blood and knives and murder and worse case scenarios of a deadly accident and I’m on the edge of crying while thinking what the fuck. It seems kinda raw and cheesy but I’ve been having those thoughts for months but that was the day I realised something was in fact very wrong. And things did not get better. -Isolation: first of all, i’m not a very attaching person, or so I think. Anyway, I have my little group of friends with whom I’m comfortable with but I have this fear of getting too attached and ending up heartbroken. So I distance myself and we respect each other, we’re all different from one another in many different ways but they didn’t mind my isolation even if they sometimes pushed me a little to do things, I don’t blame them for that. And then I began to never go out, keeping the boinds always closed, having as little light come in and sleep whenever I could. And they noticed that. And they did talk about me being depressed but I could always reassure them because I mastered the art of lying and being silly whenever (I don’t have to be modest because it’s true). The year went on and classes gave place to exams which meant less anxiety due to classes and more free time (since I didn’t study at all for the exams, we had about two days to study the first exam then more than 2 weeks for the second one. I didn’t fail them, which was kind of a miracle but didn’t excel either…). Less anxiety meant I felt better and was more open with my friends. As mentioned before, I’m quite awkward and sometimes I feel as if I’m going to far, realising it and not being able to stop (dunno if it makes sense). When I’m alone again it’s back to self-loathing and thinking that my friends find me annoying, that they don’t want to hang out with me because I’m uncool, feeling sad and knowing I shouldn’t have come out of my bubble because I kept getting hurt… By myself! That wouldn’t make any sense to people who don’t experience it. And that’s how I end converting my pain in -Self harm: pretty bad, usually on my right upper thigh, left knee, right upper arm, palm and wrist. The others might think they’re common scars but my thigh looks pretty bad. Started in January, can’t remember when was the first time but what I do remember was that I was not in distress that first time, just curious, blood. Somehow I needed to see it as I developed a strange obsesssion to it as said in my “Italy trip” before, just curious. Second time was definitely distress. Same for the countless others. -Heartbreak: fell deeply in love wich made things worse and gave the deepest scars. -Confusion about my state: I can definitely feel good sometimes and get confused as to what is wrong with me. From extensive online researches, I definitely present all the symptoms of depression and anxiety (anxiety who is less present now but often replaced by a “I don’t give a fuck feeling”). I have not been diagnosed by a professional and I will explain why I didn’t. Some of the symptoms vary like oversleeping and insomnia, eating too much or too little, interest in activities which are never the same so I wouldn’t know or the fact that I felt pretty down for what could be years and have this constant hopelessness. But I still have these good moments always awaited by long weeks of self-hatred. That’s what makes me doubt, and also the fact that I would not be taken seriously at my age since I’m still a teen, I don’t know how things are going to be and maybe I’ll be just fine and hate myself for being part of the whiny teenagers. And then there’s family, we don’t talk much about serious matters and if my parents learned this, I’m pretty sure it’s gonna be a pretty awful time in my life since my mom can be quite judgmental and will always think she’s right. If she knows about this it’ll be endless questions to which I wouldn’t be able to answer. As well as disappointment and lots and lots of misunderstandings I wish to avoid at all costs. Since I’m still underage, looking for help will always end up with my parents knowing about it. That’s why. There’s a lot more I could say and couldn’t say but that’s already quite long.

(Every part of this will be elaborated as their own posts, so it might be repetitive but once it’s done I’ll delete this post)