#so many AU in GF fandom now this is funny

[otto-tigtea]

I drew this a month ago and forgot to post it, eh... Bill is sitting in therapy and definitely sees stars in the dust flying by...

And more sad and funny color sketches 👇🏻

And this one, lmao))

[thebunnednun]

New profile pic!! Oh and updates 4/14/2024 (Master list too)

Finally, something that looks like me!

Oh, btw the names Angellica or Angie for short. I don't mind being called BUNNEDNUN either babes.

My wifey: @elarakive

My sister friend: @thealtofvalleyxdoodles My girl: @orange-milky

WE ASLO HAVE A COMMUNITY LINK NOW!!:

Now let's get down to business,

An updated schedule will be as follows:

Mundane Monday: The beginning of the week is always dreadful so let's make it fun with some crack fics. Memes, Memes, MEMES galore!

Tearful Tuesdays: Angst posts will be the main thing on here. I'm thinking of some hurt and comfort fics. I'm already working on a Buggy fic for this. I'm not opposed to happy endings but in general, think of an onion cutting itself for these. They don't all have to be romantic and I'm creating something for Trafalgar Law here.

Wonderful Wednesdays: I will update two of the current fan series on this day maybe three if I have the time. So far the list includes:

*Enchanted meeting (Buggy The Clown x Straw-hat reader)

*Shadows of the Blade (Dracule Mihawk x Assassin reader)

*Capturing hearts (Iñaki Godoy x Photographer reader)

*Please Don't Hate Me! (Juan Ruiz x Imperfect reader

*Whispers of the heart (Dracule Mihawk x Maid (Pirate Queen) reader)

*Love Sick (Buggy the Clown x Straw-hat reader)

*Bound by Justice (Sabo x Marine! Reader)

*Carnival Confessions (Portgas D. Ace x Straw-Hat! Reader)

*If you only knew how much I love you (Sabo x Straw-hat! Reader x Ace)

*Make you mine!~ (Trafalgar D. Law x Cheeky~ Crewmate! Reader)

*Throw Me Overboard! (Buggy the Clown x Fm! Reader)

*Gone Fishing! (Sabo x Sea creature Straw-Hat! Reader)

*Good neighbors (Farmer! Bakugou Katsuki x Gardener! Reader)

*Dancing Under the Stars (Red-Haired Shanks X Bar/ DanceClub Owner! Reader)

*In the Arms of a Stranger (Charlotte Katakuri x Bride! Reader)

*Unexpected Dinner Guests! (Koby x Straw-Hat! Reader)

*Tempted to touch! One piece Men x Fm! Reader (Multi fic)

*Shadows in the Night! (Trafalgar D. Water Law x Ethereal spirit! Reader)

*Sweet dreams!~ (Trafalgar D. Law x Hot Doctor Wife! Reader (Modern Au))

*Golden afternoon (Monkey D. Luffy x Crew mate! Reader) *LOYALTY (Katsuki Bakugou x Sugar Baby! Reader)

*You're my Coffee (Shouta Aizawa x Pro Hero/Teacher! Reader)

*Overworked (Katsuki Bakugou x Stressed! gf! Reader)

*Build a Boyfriend (Mirio Togata x Pastel Goth! Reader)

*The One That Got Away (Katsuki Bakugou x Girlfriend! Reader)

Sanji, Usopp, Nami, Ace, Law, Robin, Boa, Chopper, and Zoro will be loading soon. I have many, many, MANY, ideas but no time right now.

Thoughtful Thursdays: Just some random conversations and ideas thrown out there. I'll try to host polls so you guys can vote on what you want next. Basically a rest day for me though because there's just no way I could write everything in one shot. (/@ ~@)/~* I've tried and it ends with me updating around 3AM or sum.

Follower Fridays: Requests from followers are posted. If you have a story request or anything you want to ask go ahead and do so on this day. Just make sure you send them in early so I can get to it in time. If you send something the day of I might be able to make it happen.

Sexy Saturdays: Send me your best Saturday night requests: ie dancing, funny adventures, or crazy antis with the one-piece crew or another fandom. I'm very familiar with Naruto and MHA (and any other anime honestly I doubt there's anything you could request that I don't know.)

It's all about having fun and having those Saturday night vibes babe!~

Sweet Sundays: Romantic One-shot posts! Any character of age and as long as it's not a child. I would be open to doing a reader insert where they are a parent or parental figure though. I find them to be very endearing.

As always your requests are welcomed and comments are very much appreciated. Sorry again for being gone for so long. I want to pick up my serious especially and make the chapters juicy again.

I also have a spring tee shop for merch related to all the stories!!

Every little bit helps me to pay for my tuition! <33

Thank you guys again for your patience and understanding.<<333

Don't forget to check out my a03 account of the same name!!

My new goals are to keep up with the schedule and get 50 followers by the end of the month! I wanna keep growing our family. :3

Most of all, remember that you are safe here and loved.

Until next time my loves!~

[papikyoo]

(Same with the latest anonymous discussion) There's no need to be sorry! My gf and I approached fandom with our personal experiences and then somehow developed a connection to its story TOO MUCH but It's fun this way tho who cares?

100% agree at first, I didn't understand him but my gf, who loved Falin, tried to unpack Kabru's persona for me. And I just 'Oh...' sounds like this mf doesn't has anyone like his truest friend (with Rin is totally diff, he's a guy GUY towards her so much...poor Rin) and now I love this character so much. Mind you, the only thing I can relate to Kabru is the control freak?????? part of him too??????

One last thing before I shut up lol do you have any other fav  duo/trio dynamic in this series which no romantic feeling between them? I thought Falin-Kabru's interaction would be fun. The way they treat people around them very well but also have something they're gatekeeping for themselves with their priority connection or their ideal relationship or Rin-Shuro they'd be embarrassed to see themselves in each other lmaooo

Also, hope everything is going well for you and your gf!

My exact same thoughts lmaooo after I read all his interactions with his own party... I'm like... "damn this guy is so friendless", my gf also said so. yeah, we can say he doesn't have a "true friend".

It's not like he doesn't have a rich social life, he has meaningful relationships with many people. He's just judgemental and distrustful, you can see in his relationship chart.

People always say something about Mithrun's relationship chart, "he only sees his own party members for their practical use." My guy, so is Kabru. His opinions of them are mostly "neutral" as he put them in a stereotype, sorting them into a box based on interactions and impressions. these answers are also kind of distant, like something he'd answer without actually thinking lol (like, Awwww rin :-) , Dia's cute, Holm is a spirit guy, Mickbell is a bitch, well Kuro is... a kobold)

and it's so funny, because yes he cares about them, he just don't think they'd understand him deeply so he put a distance between them, he's already decided how trustworthy these people are. But don't mistake that for him not being genuine, that's who he is when he's having fun, he just have a specific use of different friend circles. The party also knows him well as there's already a joke that they go "this fake ass bitch" every time they see Kabru approach strangers. At the end of the day, Kabru just don't think these people are really for him in a sense that he'd share his inner world to them.

Back to the question, I have a lot of other fav platonic dynamics in this series. So true... Falin-Kabru / Rin-Shuro would be so interesting to see. it's a shame that we don't get to see much about Falin, because yes she also has a rich intimate personality and values that she only keeps them to herself, so I really like her conclusion. I think Falin and Kabru can have a deep understanding talk with each other but they won't keep each other in their close friends list lol... Like, having that one talk and go back to your friend circles which don't overlap, that's beautiful...

one of my favorite platonic dynamics are Pattadol and Mithrun... and my gf once said that Mithrun has more friends than Kabru and that's so true lmao, I like that Pattadol genuinely cares about him that she cries when Mithrun is moving again and he also seems to like spending time with her in the modern AU. I also like Hien and Benichidori's interaction in the extras although it's a shame that we don't see much of Toshiro's party.

I also think Marcille and Kabru would be a great entertaining workplace friendship.

Actually, I think a lot about Kabru-Rin, I really like their relationship... Kabru is protective of her, she's one of the plot points which Kabru takes a duty to ensure safety to people he cares, it was assigned to him since he's a kid that he must comfort her. she is his first girl friend, so yeah I think he doesn't know better and he's immature towards her lol. imo Rin affected who Kabru is as a person, it's a meaningful relationship to him. but then I don't want to overestimate their romantic feeling because it's like... something that's already established to both of them that this is how it is and Rin knows it. She's also protective, she's very worried about him, the nagging comes from her own self preservation. and with someone like Kabru, that can make him feel trapped. He's stubborn in his own way and only listens when there is a reasoning presented to him. (like how Mithrun reflects to him that telling his story to Laios wouldn't work.) So like, yeah I think if they mature enough in the future, they can be a family to each other or drift apart to have their own life...

I'm yapping so muchh lol, thank you for the ask, I hope things are good to both you and your gf too! :D have a nice day

[iridescentis]

I just wanna say, yeah, it surprised me too how little gay fics they had of Soy Luna! The way the fandom at least seemed to agree on some, I thought, there must be a fair amount? But nope!

I remember when I finished S1 of SL for the first time back in 2021, I went to ao3 to briefly check out the fandom there and being so SHOCKED there were no Jim/Yam fics. People seemed to agree they were gfs but then they ship Yam with PEDRO before Jim in fics (like not even with Ramiro, with PEDRO)? I was like "Do I have to do all the work myself" and then wrote a bunch of fics with them as gfs just to fill out the content I was lacking. I think I'm still the only one who has written about them romantically (checked now, and yep!)

Also, yeah, I really thought Sitteo (and Gastteo, people LOVE pairing up Matteo with men) would have more fics. But I guess ao3 writers focus on canon ships, and/or non-canon ships that are M/F (which is kinda funny because Violetta, a show that takes place in the same universe, has like 85% gay fics)

yeah! when i first started watching soy luna i immediately went to watch fan edits as i usually do and there was SO MANY gay ship edits i even saw yam/delfi at one point?? i just naturally assumed that all of these ships would have just as many fics but not at all

the thing that surprised me the most is so many people seemed to love the idea of an AU where the love triangle is focused on matteo and he has to choose between luna and simón and i expected that there would be tons of fics with that concept but there isn't any??

and yeah jim and yam felt like an obvious goldmine for adorable fics but apparently not?

i definitely noticed how much there is for canon ships though a huge majority i came across had lutteo simbar and gastina usually all in the same fic regardless of the main pairing

[luvlyycy]

for the character ask thingy: 5, 7, + 22 for any character of your choosing ^.^

“5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?”

“7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?”

“22. If you're a fic reader, what's something you like in fics when it comes to ths character? Something you don't like?”

-🫀

sorry im late !!! havent checked my asks in a bit <33 also, I'll do a few characters for each. uhhh 22. has a incest mention abt childe n dabi n tomu !!

5. law , light , gojo , deadpool.

the first thing that comes to mind when i think about law is his tattoos .. they are so cool !!

for light aaa.. I'd say i like to imagine what our domestic lives would be like.

for gojo, it's just dick. literally just his cawk n balls. him bein mean to me is all.

deadpool is how much of a cutie patootie he is and how he did cocaine (it baffles me).

7. law , zoro , childe , sukuna

for law its they give him vitiligo sometimes !!! I LOVE ITTT , and give him extra super duper many piercings... hes such a emo boy..

god , for zoro... WHEN THEY GIVE HIM HIS FUCKING MELANIN BACK AAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

for childe its vv simple, when they make him manipulative, weird, stalker-ish , n off putting perv.

no curse aus are my fav with jjk so, when they give sukuna piercings and make him like cute stuff..

22. gojo , sukuna , sanji , law , deadpool , childe , dabi , tomura .

what i like for fics abt gojo is when hes really crazed, like his pupils get blown out his normally pale face is flushed pink and hes breathing heavy.. i love crazy men. one thing i dont like abt some fics is when they make it seem like he doesn't care abt anyone but himself, at that point its not gojo its ur oc babe.

gosh, i like so much stuff abt sukuna fics, mostly when they make itadori present cus his dynamic with him is sososo cute, and it'd be funny if itadori saw his uncle with a girl whos so different from him. something i do not like issss when they make reader so terribly babyfied around kuna to the point her speech sounds like shes 10.

i love when sanji is pathetic in fics, hes so down bad for reader that when she kisses his cheek hes almost crying. i love my baby sm. STOP MAKING. HIM. OOC. he would NEVER disagree with reader, EVER.

i love everything abt law fics, every take is good, next.

deadpool fics need to be silly, thank you everyone who makes him say jokes in and out of sex. that said, why take away this mans mojo? its like cutting off a dogs tail... no mojo..

I LOVE. childe . i love when they make him weird, make him weirder pls. he loves stuffing his face in a hamper of your dirty clothes type of weird. of course if he was your brother he'd be into incest, ofc he would. hes so caring abt his little brother that he would kill for him, now imagine if he had a sister?? as beautiful as reader is??? yeah, he wants his sister. that said... please, im begging you, please, make him angrier. hes not a soft baby guyys.

love when they make dabi realistic . like ofc this guy would smoke cigarettes and have a tongue piercing, OF COURSE his whole body wouldnt be burnt in a modern au — its just a big tattoo. yeah, ofc if one of his sisters stuck around for him he'd be so attached to point where he feels actual love for her. why wouldnt he ? he wants sister!reader so bad, shut up. something i hate is ... when they make dabi an insufferable asshole. like guys, i guarantee you do not love and know dabi if you make him act like a prick cus thats not dabi or touya thats a weird third option.

sigh, love when hes perverted and into piss. cus i know hes into piss. he watches porn and hentai all the fucking time, his balls are always full of nasty bitter disgusting cum because he doesnt eat or drink well. yeah hes seen sister/brother sex, why wouldn't he wanna try it? why wouldnt he call his sister mommy? or even call his gf mommy? hes a fucking bottom. when he tops he WHINES. hes a fucking loser who wants to do disgusting things to his sister and his gf. hes a fucked up person but underneath all that, hes a fucking NICE guy. overall, tomura is a gooner. stop taking away these guys mojo. im gonna kill you.

[prisontoybox]

17, 19, 25 (shadow lord), 27, 29, 36, 37, 38, 39

//Oops that took a while phew, thank you <3

Munday Asks

17 "What was your first muse?"

I guess other than warrior cats and one other oc that werent necessarily mused, it'd be Dipper Pines (regular and most of his aus). I ended up really deep in the Gravity Falls Amino and I ended up in many of the rps defaulting to him for other friends and rpers til I became known for it to an extent gjfjdk. I did a couple other GF charcaters but mainly him in my friend groups.

19 "Do you have ship bias?"

I'll be honest I have no clue what this means. :v If its about writing a ship with someone and their muse, it mostly depends on chemestty and if I know the mun at least a little and if its fun to write. (Ex, I haven't written any real Monix even tho its cute despite having Fox talk to a few Monos here and discord, but have written thinlady with @/gecsha and already otp'd it. I also liked Sevix but wanted SK to want nothing to do with Six in even a friendly regard, but me and @/raincoatnightmare became friends when we were writing and it was funny and cute plus added further character into SK that I like (also now lordlady supremacy ty ty). Or in another fandom, the only character I've written with a canon relationship (or semi-canon? ig its vague?) was Hero from Omori and even then it seems weird to jump into a ship with someone I havent spoken to so it would probably be more prominent with an rper I've talked to before even if its still there with strangers)

25 "Do you play smut? Do you play it only with characters you’re shipping with, or are you open for “one night stands”?"

27 "Are you interested into poly relationships for your muse?"

Tbh Ive (embarrassedly and probably poorly) written it with one other person before in a certain circumstance I don't wanna get into here that ended not-so-well but I'm too nervous to write that kinda thing with others unless we were really comfortable writing that in private. It would always have to be shipping and he's only really shipped with one muse and you already admitted to asking this so I hope youre happy embarrassing me now hfksfkjfkd (also off like you said only adults like SL)

It never starts that way and yet so often ends up like that fhsksl. For SL he's already in a cute poly ship in a verse so I'll say yes to that. Lady Fox hasn't really been written into anything at all yet and I haven't even considered any ship even my beloved thinlady for her so we'll see gjjdls. For puppy ships with the kids again idk

29 "What are your thoughts on your muses' canon?"

Sweats in divergent characters Well Six is really cool and honestly a fun character to watch go through things, I really like her and her clever survival skills even if she's not the most kind in some situations cough cough. I could write a whole essay on why I love her little differences between the other characters in idle animations, cutscene reactions, and her ai actions in LN2. And seeing her in both comic series + those LN2 cutscenes/ai, I like how despite it all its obvious just still just a kid who also enjoys time with others.

RK is honestly my favorite of the protags, little dude is hard (to the) core. I still hate the canon ending 💔 /hj. His specific idle animations we get to see are also interesting in the fact thet theyre a little different from Six's (the only 2 kids at the time). Seeing his interactions with the Nomes (Hideaway), Six (cancelled comic), and reaction to the Flashlight Girl (Depths), it's also neat to see his little personality shine through. I got the feeling he was almost hesitant to escape but went through anyway, and saw it to the end (even if it was his own end) and with all the stepping on coal and glass, hitting every obstacle in the way and still standing up straight, and being resourceful of those around him, and I can respect him. Also he's the only one who's had a chapter I would be too scared to go through if I had the LN mindset so good on him 💔.

36. "Do you feel similar to your muse in any way?"

With Fox I really feel that casual but anxious at any time feeling, and already projected a lot of my anxieties about memory loss onto her. I also just like foxes. (Ive only spent money on game cosmetics 3 times and one was the LN1 fox mask, another was yesterday $10 on an almost useless fox plush on Sky: CotL fhdjsk but hey whats important is invisible to the eyes).

With SK I can feel the "listens to an echo chamber for emotions" sometimes, and holding onto things stubbornly. It's quite easy to write him as I don't like admitting certain things either and deny deny deny, but that makes SL a little harder to make him romance fbdksk.

With SL I do really feel that overprotectiveness and envy in some things, he might be waaay exaggerated ofc but it's there. Im also a big self blamer.

37 "Do you feel different from your muse in any way?"

With Fox I'm much more social, I do like hugs and physical touchs and talking even oversharing cough just look at this whole post whereas she'd very reserved and quiet about her feelings 99% of the time.

With SK I can't really find it in me to hold a grudge that well. I can think back and get annoyed that some teacher or other kid or family member did some bad thing to me in the past, or say "so-and-so hurt me yesterday", but I can't hold it as just hate for long and see it differently. There's very few people I'm having trouble forgiving and forgetting, and they'll never be allowed near my family if I can help it.

With SL I can't say I'm in a good position if I'm in charge. I can be a good right hand or lower ranking moniter/manager, but being the head is too much pressure and depressing. He seems to be doing just fine both on his own and with his wife and/or husband.

38 "What's the best inspiration for your muse?"

Mostly jokes and random ideas with my friends! Some of the best plots I've had personally were turning a romance/ship joke into angst for pain, or angst into romance as hurt/comfort. Ofc music also helps but this is the best!

39 "What's a song that reminds you of your muse?"

I have a whole playlist so let me think of some that only or mostly involve that character and their feelings.

Fox/Six- Again

SK- Cradles

SL- KING

[marypsue]

Hi! I saw in a previous ask that you really like monster transformation fics. Do you have any recommendations?

If you’re here, I figure you at least know of Gravity Falls, which is good because a lot of these are gonna land squarely there. (I’d recommend looking up the Monsterfalls AU if you haven’t already. Also, a lot of the Transcendence AU deals with Dipper becoming a demon and fallout from that. And the One Of Us AU! GF AUs have consistently been a gift that keeps on giving.) 

Also, I’m gonna expand the definition of ‘monster’ to include 'any creature that isn’t human but possesses sapience’ because why not. That’s where I get most of my good, good angst.

- Cooperation Is Mandatory (Gravity Falls): Fair warning before you click, this fic is abandoned and orphaned at six chapters. But they’re six of the best chapters of werewolf angst and worldbuilding that I’ve found in this fandom. This was the fic that inspired Raising Stakes.

- Rest & Revivification (Gravity Falls): Aftermath of Soos getting turned into a zombie in Scary-Oke. Sweet, funny, light, and just a little bit horrifying, just like the episode!

- Snow and Pine (Gravity Falls): More quality werewolf Stangst. This one’s a series of one-shots, rather than a chaptered fic. Technically complete, though I feel like there’s still more to the story.

- Guardian (Gravity Falls): The glowy symbol Bill put on the side of the portal mechanism turns Stan into a gargoyle. Things go about as well as you’d expect. I haven’t kept up with this one, because it got much more into romantic-drama territory in later chapters, but it does start very strong and if your attention span is better than mine you’ll probably get more mileage out of it.

- The Ghost That Lives In Great Uncle Ford’s Basement (Gravity Falls): Dipper and Mabel arrive at their great-uncle’s house for the summer, only for Mabel to uncover a thirty-year-old murder mystery. Stan’s a ghost and everything is terrible! Good but sad.

- State Of Dreaming (Gravity Falls): SandyQuinn (@agentquinn on tumblr) consistently delivers the gut punches and the good good catharsis. Stanford Pines sacrifices his humanity to defeat Bill Cipher. It’s what happens afterwards that matters.

- The Logical Conclusion (Gravity Falls): Short and sweet, funny and full of fridge horror, just how I like 'em. Gargoyle Stan discovers he has a taste for red meat.

- A Thousand Natural Shocks (Gravity Falls): An eldritch horror convinces itself that it’s Stan Pines. Then it’s forced to remember the truth. dubs is an incredible author, and has a few AU/oneshots in this same 'verse.

- (To Die Will Be) An Awfully Big Adventure (Bandom): So normally I’m not about RPF. This, though, is 1) old enough now that the circumstances it depicts really don’t reflect any of the players’ real-life circumstances and so it’s real easy to read them as original characters, 2) carefully and creatively worldbuilt to rival any decent urban fantasy profic out there right now, and 3) an absolute blast to read. A wayward MCR fan decides to give Gerard Way the greatest gift they can think of - immortal life. Unfortunately, they don’t…ask first. Contains conspiracies, vampires, werewolves, fairies, all the delightfully goffic ridiculousness of Fueled by Ramen in the late 00s, some extremely quality angst, great clothes, and a twist I genuinely did not see coming.

- Something Wicked This Way Comes (ROTG): Werewolves! And werewolf hunters! Contains both the angsty established hunter who got turned into the thing he hunts and the naive innocent who knows nothing about monsters and has no idea what he’s become! No knowledge of ROTG required to enjoy this bad boy.

- Blessings And Curses (The Hobbit movies): I don’t even go here, and this one’s another one that I strongly suspect will never be finished. But it does that 'fish out of water’ aspect of adjusting to a new body - and the culture shock that comes with it - so well. A dwarf gets whammied into an elf, with all the accompanying cultural baggage.

- Theodicy (Supernatural): Dean gets made over into an angel. Again, I don’t even go here - I guess I understand the theoretical appeal of Destiel, but the actual characters as they appear on the screen together have done nothing for me. But. This one’s so visceral, so gutting, so horrifying on so many levels, that the veneer of normality and positivity that lies over it just twists the knife. Fucked up and horrible and, in a strange way, hopeful. I love it.

- In Love, And Blood, And Death (The Lost Boys): That Good Shit. A classic vampire story retold with all ladies and a bad ending. This one’s extremely lush, the descriptions lyrical and rich and brutal. I could sink into this fic and just roll around in it for a while.

(I have also, uh, written a whoooole bunch. Off the top of my head, Raising Stakes and Shorts and Determination are probably gonna be the two you’ll get the most mileage out of.)

[superrcell]

clara!! or teru mobbedpsycho

omg hehe ill do both bc i love them both so much : )

clara!

How I feel about this character

oh my god, i LOVE her? i love her so much. literally my favorite healer. her route is literally the best.

its just like. shes SO fun. shes so weird and shes so funny and i just love love love how shes written. i love that in the beginning of her own route shes like.. literally Just a little girl. like getting worried bc she told the first lie in her life ,,, its just like shes so cute. i love her and shes soooo funny oh my god. i love love love how through her route she becomes more confident with herself and her path, it seems... just like everything is so good about her.

i love her place in the game as well... shes the youngest, definitely the one who you’d probably trust the least to do a good job, and just so ... she’s so weird! i love that she is the character who becomes the sort of meta character, where the developers Know you’ve gone thru everything twice, we’re now just going to let her know all you need. plus, i fucking LOVE her powers with the hook - thats a trope i just love so much... 

i love her black and white mentality? its just so interesting... i love how the world warps in her route, where people are especially evil, or are especially good. and i love. i LOVE that she’s put with all of the humbles... like i just love everything about her SO much ... 

All the people I ship romantically with this character

oh, as ive said: grace!! i find their relationship incredibly cute, especially with how clara says how much she likes her in her route... plus! weird (graveyard) girls unite :) idk, i just feel like they complement each other very well, and would understand each other very well! its very cute!

to a much lesser degree, i also find capella and clara cute, but i dont have quite as many thoughts on it. 

My non-romantic OTP for this character (im just interpreting this as other relationships i find interesting)

omg, so many, um ,,, 

firstly, the saburovs! i think more about katerina just because of who i am, but i love thinking of if they were like . . . an actually good family. idk, its just like if the saburovs weren’t In That Situation... maybe, just maybe they would be better? they obviously care about clara very very much, as shown in those first few days... idk, i just love the idea of good families 😔

secondly, like almost every relationship she has with the humbles, or what potential relationship she’ll have in p2 now that some of them have been reworked. i cant go through the whole list because ill be here all day, but especially rubin and her relationship; the connection she has with aspity; im interested in how the others will be reworked and how they’ll interact with clara just... ayugh i love all of the  humbles so much!

thirdly, um. okay not to be a termite stan but thinking of her relationship with some of the termites is super interesting... in particular, as ive said, grace and her seem like they could very well be very good friends if not gfs, and sticky! theyre both thieves ... i feel like it can be very interesting, though i doubt they would be really close hsdjkgjk still! i just love thinking of her potential relationship with the other kids.

fourthly, also aglaya because of her connection with clara, with knowing. Everything about their world is so interesting. plus, just how aglaya treats her is so... interesting? shes just SO different in clara’s route, its so interesting...

and lastly, as i said: her relationship with block! i dont have too many thoughts, but i find his care for her very very interesting and sweet... im interested in how their relationship will be expanded upon in her route!

wait no im still adding things: her relationship with the albino! idk i just find her relationship with the creature of the steppe so sweet... its just like the bond between them its just so nice and it makes me so 💖thinking about it in her route...

My unpopular opinion about this character

clara best healer! clara’s route is the best! i hate it when people only use her for their daniil/artemiy ship shit! she doesnt give a shit about them! stop pushing her off to the side! her route is unfinished, yes, thats really only the side quests from day 8 on! the main quest is always different! just play her route! shes not just some weird person who only speaks in metaphors, shes also a little girl!  i love clara very much! 

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

oh, hmm... her route to be finished, and actually full of details? ghdsjkgj really though, i remember people saying that they might go for a genre shift with the other two routes in p2, and i think her’s being more horror would be SO cool... i also hope that we can hug people in her route as well, oh my god. oh my god. please let me hug the saburovs. 

-------

teruki!

How I feel about this character

i LOVE teru! hes absolutely, 100%, completely my favorite mp100 character. hes such a huge comfort character to me as well its just like i looveee his character. hes so SO funny and hes so dumb but also hes like SO smart and. hes SOOOO smart and i just can relate to him a lot! who am i but a constant string of “oh yeah im very smart and i can do this amazingly” and then almost immediately being followed by someone showing me up, 

plus, i feel like hes just my favorite character archetype. its just like! i am such a huuugeeee fan of characters showing off and trying to act big but are hiding behind a ton of insecurities. or well, maybe not quite hiding behind them, but having a lot of them. after all i think teru truly is just Like That, though his actions in his arc were heavily motivated by these insecurities... idk i just love him so much. hes just really relatable to me in some aspects and in all others i just find so fun. hes such a great character!

All the people I ship romantically with this character

oh, mob ofc! i dont think about the ship all that much, but i think its rlly cute, and i definitely feel like teru has a lot of love in his heart for mob! its rlly nice and can be very sweet c:  

My non-romantic OTP for this character (im just interpreting this as other relationships i find interesting)

mob! once again i just think their friendship is just really nice, and i love how much teru cares for mob! plus theyre so funny gdhksjjg idk theyre just a fun team!! i love them!! i dont have many other thoughts, as i feel like their relationship is explored constantly, and i dont have many new thoughts to bring to the table. i just love it when their shown in a fun light c:

also, now idk if ive ever given this vibe off but, i LOVE found families, so i looveeee love love the au where reigen and serizawa take in shou, tome, and teru! like even outside of the au, i feel like a friendship with shou would be so nice? its just like the shared familial issues 😔plus i think theyd be hilarious together. no matter what i see them as having a more brotherly relationship! i like especially thinking about them playing games together, and same with tome! which like tome, oh my god i feel like theyd be so fun together and just the thought of them as siblings sounds like it could very very easily go badly because of clashing personalities but idk... i just feel like it could also be really nice and fun :) i love thinking about the sibling relationships in mp100 so much because theyre all just so fun characters and it feels like it can always result in such a fun and not like... angsty atmosphere. like i can just see them as being actual siblings, and its nice!

also, reigen ofc! i mentioned that i like the idea of reigen taking him in, though i think reigen might not be a . . . great parental figure. but i just really like the found familyness of it... plus, okay, this is going to be obvious since im such a teru stan, but the one omake where reigen takes them all out for a “client” but it just is reigen trying to give them all a fun summer day because teru mentioned how his family doesnt ever really see him... oh my god its about That. just an adult figure caring for teru makes me happy and thats why i love their relationship so much.

also, i have much less thoughts about this (or at least now i do), but the idea of teru and ritsu being friends sounds so funny. like i dont have many thoughts on it; its all mainly this comic on them 

My unpopular opinion about this character

hmmm, i think all of my opinions are echoed by the people in my corner of the fandom, but one i can think of is like just about Every take on his fashion sense is so cold, besides the one thats like “hes a rich teenager living on his own and thats why his fashion sense is like that.” like he obviously cares about his own appearance, but aahkdshjkg i dont think its like so much as so many people put on him. also for  the love of god focus on his other interests other than fashion for once, 

idk, i think most of my opinions boil down to “i dont like what hes been reduced to/what the fandom always focuses on for him.” 

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

oh, hm! i wish they hadnt cut out the one scene in s2 (around the beginning of the world domination arc, at teru’s apartment) where teru basically shows off his powers and how much hes grown and knows... i get Why they cut it out, but, as far as i remember, its such a good part of his character i wish they had kept in! 

i also hope that they add a little extra of him in s3 since i feel like they will have  more time left over ... 👉👈

send me a character :)

[phasefuck-moved]

Can you tell us some about your selfship w/ Jack :0 like how you two met (can be actually how you found out about the character or an in universe thing if you have one), what you love the most about each other, and maybe your favorite thing to do together?

Boy I might ramble so let me put this under the Cut ft. suitable image that describes the mood.

I answer all ur points so- how i found jack (also how i found blands)- about my self insert- what i love abt him

So like. I’ll start with how I found Jack cos that’s always a fun story to tell. Jump back to late 2014, like November-December, FNAF fandom was having it’s first stagnant phase, and I wasn’t back into Homestuck yet. I spent most of my time watching youtubers like Markiplier and RPGMinx, anyone I found from FNAF videos basically. So like all the people that played Prop Hunt together on those channels, I found them all and watched them all. Was also a time that I watched people on Twitch when I really ran out of shit to watch. 

So it’s like, late November, first week of December, can’t remember which, was browsing Twitch for something to watch, saw Cryotic was streaming and was like “hey I know that person they don’t stream too much I think I’ll watch them”. Cry was playing TFTBL Ep1. I watched like, from the point where Rhys and Vaughn enter Shade’s lil place. And I think I went to bed before it finished. Went to school the next day and talked to a friend about it, telling them about this new game I saw, my friend knew it too so we talked about it for a while. By December 10th, I’d bought the game, and by December 20th, I had all of the Borderlands games.

So how did I actually find out about Jack and fall for that idiot? Well my stupid ass didn’t meet him in TFTBL because I finished the first episode AFTER starting the other games. So I actually met him in TPS. On Christmas Eve. I was Hooked. Because I played like, all the starts of the games before I played the endings, I still knew he was gonna be a terrible shitty idiot. 

At the time I was going through some bad shit, like I’m sure it was the midpoint between two major points of abuse in my life, so I was already diving into coping mechanisms and recently was self shipping again, so I latched onto Jack and have been really gay for him ever since. Although I never posted it on my blog until this year, as I didn’t know of the self ship side of tumblr, and due to all the discourse Jack causes, I didn’t want to cause trouble or be judged or anything so I kept my mouth shut. And now I don’t shut up about it in my group chat, annnnd now here I guess too jdshgjdsg. 

Hell my old blog you can’t find one post about me LIKING Jack, let alone self ship or anything. And I still left the fandom and abandoned those blogs due to my only friends at the time constantly insulting the games, to the point where I didn’t want to play them anymore. (Like, they were fans of the games but, in a “I hate the fact there are canon lesbians and lots of lgbt people and memes and shit in the games” so they were mad non stop and ranted at me, the 14 year old loner jdhsgjdsg.)

So yeah. 3+ Years of Jack Hell.

Anyways, I do have a self insert!!! Her name is AJ and she is the Worst. She’s super OP and super cringy but I don’t care because I’m having fun. She’s been through a lot of design changes, with one from 2014, and then a lot from January. But the overall character hasn’t changed. She’s me but too op (being a very old siren with pink tats that still looks 21) and good looking and Actually Smooching Jack. You can find the most recent drawing of her here! Her tag has some of her older art but not all of it. 

Story wise, she has an AU timeline with Jack where like, I gave him a new backstory (no wives or gfs… only me now….), but the main games plots stay the same, until her own big plot after BL2. 

AJ meets Jack at a Hyperion Science Facility on Pandora, when he’s only 19 years old, young Hyperion programmer that was only there to fix some equipment and move on. He has Angel when he’s 20, believing her to be from a drunken one night stand with a scientist at the facility, who Died p much right away. He doesn’t actually see AJ again until he’s 23-24, when hes taken over this project to shut it down. Moves AJ to where he’s living cos boi he has a thing for this girl he saw only one time. Spent like a year together and then started dating the day before Mercenary Day (aka December 24th, like how thats the day I first found Jack dsjhgjdsg). 

Pretty much from there it’s just. AJ helps out with BL1, would be present in TPS like a player character, I guess. Around Jack a lot bc she lov him. BL2 she’s mainly on Helios, like Jack, so probably wouldn’t be seen. Post BL2 she’s stuck on Helios, trapped in Jack’s Office, for seven years, had her arm cut off and all, it’s not pretty. TFTBL starts to happen, moment Rhys enters Jack’s Office shit changes because AJ is there, Rhys breaks AJ out of the office and onto Pandora. She also somehow gets AI Jack who has no clue who she is and is only nice to her to keep her alive so he can stay alive too. (We joked that she slaps the AI out of Rhys and honestly. Mood). She stays on Pandora for 3 years with AI Jack, Vaughn, and some contact with a few Hyperion people. Ends up opening a vault, finds it to be one like Eleseer, instead of knowledge it gives her power.

Then you get my lil story aka Borderlands: Infinite, aka BL8, which many people in my group chat are a part of. This currently doesn’t have a set plot, other than there being a paradox world, AI Jack is a main villain, Lilith and AJ are on opposing sides, and everyone comes back to life a little. It’s really weird.

What I love most about Jack is he is an absolute bastard. But he’s really funny and his voice is really good and I think he lives up to the handsome part of his name. Hell I even like the soul patch from TPS even though nearly everyone hates that. He’s such a nerd. An evil boi. Absolutely terrible. 

AJ wise she’s pretty much the same, he’s pretty much the first person she ever gets to know, he looks after her, plus she’s with him from way before he goes off the rails. She just so happens to sorta go off at the same time. Which is why she sticks around when he starts doin bad shit. And Jack’s into her because she’s the cutest damn siren to ever exist like how could you resist. She makes shitty jokes about her being an engineer and him being a programmer. 

Before like, TPS their fav thing to do usually involved the ECHOnet, playing games, watching movies, simple stuff. AJ couldn’t really go out much as she was depression (and also needed to be hooked up to electricity at all times. She’s weird. There’s a metaphor in there somewhere for something.) Post TPS she probably enjoyed following Jack around, bein the trophy GF, and also shooting a lot of people. How the times change.

djsghjdsg

[applegelstore]

I actually wanted to wait with this until I hit, like, a nice follower count milestone or something like that, but… I felt like it. So, I just wanted to thank everyone of you who’s following this blog from the bottom of my heart. It’s still a pitifully small number, but I feel like I actually have loyal fans. So, thank you all for every single like, reblog, and especially those among you who commissioned me or even donated to my Ko-Fi! You know who you are. Some people also like or reblog my stuff frequently (you probably also know who you are), these people are heroes. Honestly, you are all so, so sweet, and you might not even know how much this means to me.

And the best thing? Your tags. No kidding.

Rest under cut for length. You’re not gonna regret clicking it, though!

I hardly ever got tags on my original art (which also got much less notes in general, but still!), but very often I get some on my fanart. And they’re… like… the best thing… ever? 
So what I did is this: I’ve collected some of the most ridiculous tags I ever got. I probably missed some of them, but I try to collect them all! I’m getting so many funny and/or sweet comments in the tags, you’re making me weep! Sometimes I got really long comments in the tags, and I’m speechless. I didn’t put those in here, but I wanted to share the most hilarious ones.

Without further ado and also without any context, I’m gonna share some of the funniest tags. (a few of them obviously were posted under the same images, but in general, I mixed these quotes up as wildly as I cold for maximum out of context hilarity). Like some kind of… gag reel.

Which ones are your favourites?

(alternatively, you can try to guess which image/post got which tag)

#goddammit hug her mikleo

#edna needs hugs just sayin'

#SOBBING

#MY BABIES

#YES PLEASE

#what the fuck this is adorable

#i love this a lot omg

# this fandom

# I am drawn more and more

#😭 good best beautiful;

#what is this sorcery

#yeutdkydlckhckh

#canon real perfect beautiful amazing

#rose my queen

#WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

#rip meebs

#!!!!!!

#bless

#excellent

#oh my god lol edna

#*Mikleo screeching in the distance*

#asedxrftghj

#awwww <3

#don't you yell at pun mama rose

#also Meebo is totally a Disney princess he just needs to get over his fear of dogs then he'll even have animals that love him

#Dhddlagjwlejh

#aaaaAAAAAA

#AAAAA

#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

#15/10 would recommend

#rose please marry me

#*crying dying noises*

#*gross sobbing*

#would also 100000% pay to transform dezel and zaveid into parrots though holy shit

#'im abraid your hair is going to need some work mikleo'

#'i dont mind combing over to do this'

#'you're really growing into your hair style'

#lailah is banned from helping

#'no need to turn this into a hairy situation'

#also wtf are 10-20 or 1000 shades of malevolence in a person 

#WHAT KIND OF STUPID DIALOGUE IS THAT  

#tag yourself i'm a category type 27 malevolence kaiju  

#game!sorey please use your mark-5 jaegar luzrov rulay to punch and purifying the SALT IN ME  

#dip 'im sorey d i p ' i m

#rip mikey boy though

#brotp for the ages

#/silent tears into the abyss

#hey...thgats fucking gay

#give rose a shepherd cloak 2k17

#!!!!

#GIVE SOREY A CAT 2KFOREVER

#TOTALLY AGREE OP

#honestly this is canon

#EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED

#now I need a fic for this too

#i'm crying omg

#kfhdkf edna

#i cry :')))))

#please let mikey boy lay his head on sorey's lap and have sorey caress those alabaster locks

#petition to release metal band t-shirt costume DLC for velvet

#CONSTANT BITCHY RESTING FACE IM CRYING

#please marry each other :'''''')))))

#GOOD

#I'M LAUGHING SO HARD LAKJDSLFKJSDLFKJSDLKFJLSDKFJLSKJFLSKFJ

#her fujikgbd

#face

#GIVE YOUR GF A CLOAK ALISHA

#pretty much

#op's art keeps me living

#rose no

#edna plz

#JESUS F U C KING CHRIST SAVE MIKLEO

#*hyperventilates*

#hhhhhhhhhhh

#cy8cyciyvuf

#gay...............gay thank you

#omg

#i’m with you velvet

#beautiful

#jyyjdgjdkydjydkyfkyfyykfflflyfludkyfkydyidkydkyclhckhckhxkh

#tsutitdkhdkhdkgsykdkgxkgckhchcykfkycykfkycjt

#y e a hhhh h h hh h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h hh

#SO ACCURATE

#GIVE ME ALL THE ZESTY/DESTINY CROSSOVERS

#1000/10 will pay to get this as a DLC costume

#thiS IS SO GOOD GOD BLESS YOU

#[SLAMS HANDS ON TABLE] hi yeah this is my Jam

#BABY

#i always love when people make sorey do the tongue thing

#because he totally does the tongue thing

#i support this 800% a good post

#never ever forget dezel dual weilding twin trumpets

#meebs is beautiful with waves just sayin'

#i'm crying

#i love this

#AAAAAA

#oh my god

#edna's face i can't

#i just died

#rip meebo

#*plays My Heart Will Go On on kazoo*

#what a post

#sorey: miKLEO WILLL U MARRY ME

#mikleo: u idIOT DOn"T ELECTROCUTE URSELF

#sorey: ur right i am prty cute

#mikleo: did u even hear what i said

#rose what an icon

#my inspiration

#PURE

#perfect

#bye mikleo

#baby ******** is like something from a splendid lisa frank fever dream

#I laughed

#gaahhh this is too cute

#Jhwgshshaksehhwsnbxj

#15/10 they kiss after a performance and i cry a single tear

#the universal constant

#is sorey has NO SELF PRESERVATION

#LIKE NONE

#BOY WHERE IS IT

#YOU LEFT IT IN A RUIN SOMEWHERE DIDN'T YA

#GDI SOREY

#<- a memoir by mikleo

#MY SONS

#*sobs into hands* god this is lovely

#hush rose let him be

#was almost disappointed when the link didn't actually lead to part of your world

#this is so gold

#also the HEighT diFFEREncE ♡

#also thank you for the blessing that is mikleo clinging onto sorey's buff arm

#the sweet baby slumber party is off to a rollicking good start

#lkjsdlfkJ I'M ALL FOR SOREY DIPPING MIKLEO YES

#TOOOO FUCKIN GREAT

#IMGOING TO CRY

#TOO LATE ALREADY AM

#nerds omg

#aaaaaa

#edna NO

#kajfrbnkjrebdgkhrjgbnkurjthhgnkuihjiuHLUIHFLUhglnueh

#aaand I don't know the Protagonist-kun and Protagonist-chan's names yet so in my mind they are now named Losers thanks to your art xD

#no matter which game Edna will always roast everyone

#ohhhh nOOOOOOOOO

#run while you can meebo

#told you you were gonna pay for the toddler quip

#I LOVE TJIS

#the smol tsun tsun grump is a big softie deep down

#...deep...deep...very deep down

#omg

#awwww

#will someone

#will someone write this au please..

#but i love this!

#♡

#this feels so melancholic and also i need more

#this is a gold au idea

#someone please give Mikleo a hug

#friiiiick

#PHI PLS

#HEY YOU KNOW WHO ELSE WOULD BE WILLING

#SOMEONE WHOSE NAME STARTS WITH AN M AND ENDS WITH IKLEO I'M JUST SAYING

#SUGGESTING

#LAILAH....

#Y E S

#so cute awwww

#<3333333333

#dogs are for petting and torturing meebos

#ajenfnjen

#bless Rollo

#awwww cute

#omg yes

#omg

#RUN MEEBO

#gosh...

#bless everything

#ALKJSDFLKJSDLFKJDSF

#I M AO SSODSF

#aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa......

#I will never look at anything else ever again

#plz capitalize German nouns thx

#headcanon accepted!!

#BLESSED

#GOOD AND PURE CONTENT I LOVE THIS

#rip i love this artist and i love this post

*takes a deep breath* …I’m done. And I love you!

[gnostic-heretic]

For the character ask meme: Uhhhh give me Vietnam if possible and if not, Norway plz! ;3 💖💖💖

it’s possible for both!!! >:3c live the dream!

Vietnam: 

favorite thing about them

i like how she’s headstrong and serious! i also think she’s really cute though. and also, strange statement maybe, but i like the fact that we have a female character that is not very “feminine” for once. more love for gnc girls, people!

least favorite thing about them

hm... sometimes the fandom portrays her as TOO serious and super cold which i don’t think is true. also, though, it’s also part of her canon portrayal (the whole “she never smiles” thing and all...) so here i say: let vietnam smile! let vietnam have fun!

favorite line

she doesn’t have many lines and scenes... but this one is my fave BY A LONG SHOT

brOTP

Vietnam and Thailand! They’d be such cute friends! Also, I feel like Hong Kong + Taiwan/Vietnam is another excellent couple+best friend trio!

OTP

T A I V I E T please this was actually my first hetalia f/f otp... and i still love them i mean look at them! consider: Taiwan being the sweetest gf and reminding Vietnam how cute she is to her... Taiwan taking Vietnam out shopping for fun... Vietnam being able to loosen up and laugh when she’s around her cute, happy, cheerful gf... and Vietnam being always there for Taiwan when she’s having a hard time aahhh kind of like the strong pillar of her life... so cute!

nOTP

ameviet i mean... do i even need to explain why. yall... 

random headcanon

she’s a lesbian

unpopular opinion

haven’t seen many opinions about her specifically so i don’t know what’s unpopular!

song i associate with them

??? eee i suck at this one i’ll... maybe get back to you later

favorite picture of them

get yourself a goth gf like this

now with norway!!!

favorite thing about them

just like with Romania, i like his passion for folklore and fairy tales! i also love that under the cold surface, he’s actually a really sweet and caring guy.also, his hair looks so soft. 10/10 i am gay  

least favorite thing about them

asahgs the fandom’s idea that he is abusive like... quit it

also sometimes he’s almost TOO cold in the canon strips i mean.. c’mon we know the guy can show some emotions and even be funny when he wants to (see: his parody of sweden) i’d love to see more of that side of him!!!

favorite line

I’VE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS... FOR ONE HOUR... BUT... that part where he gives iceland the yoggi... he cares so much about his lil bro? i think it’s so cute!

i can’t find the whole strip though i die

also, for some reason, i really like this scene... he sounds so cold but i think he’s also just really concerned about the ongoing battle, tbh.  i like his expression in that bottom right panel a lot...

lol.

brOTP

i like him and iceland’s familiar relationship! i think they are really cute siblings :> actually a big reason why norway and iceland are some of my faves is that their interactions are always so funny and endearing.

OTP

dennor ajdjks i am basic... and also based PURELY on looks and personalities, i think norway and finland would make a really cute couple...!

nOTP

romantic norice i mean... again... COME ON GUYS... 

random headcanon

OK I KNOW WE TALKED ABT THIS EXTENSIVELY BUT... i just love the idea of him, ice and denmark being a sort of  atypical family and having their own peculiar dynamic. like iceland would hold such a grudge  towards norway but also kind of see denmark as a cool adult figure and almost even more of a big brother than nor... but deep down i think iceland cares about his brother more than he lets show! and norway would try his best... to not only be there for his brother but also to be more open about his emotions.i just LOVE thinking of him opening up and having healthy loving relationships, romantic and not, in his life... my boy deserves to be happy!also, silly headcanon but in au settings just the same way i envision tolys as a teacher, i so strongly see norway as a writer. i also see him as being into punk/alt fashion but aahh that’s literally just my own self indulgence. i mean, listen, my argument is literally just: norway with piercings? wow? i am gay?

unpopular opinion

anko family headcanons that are like uwu norway is the mom and denmark is the dad uwu are boring and overrated. life is more nuanced than that guys! also neither of them is the “mom” like lmao they’re both MEN quit it w/ this shit

song i associate with them

HHGGGGHHH

favorite picture of them

is this official? is it not? it’s a thing of beauty anyway

[weconqueratdawn]

#fannibalselfrec event - Hannibal season one

Thanks to @hannibalficwriters for organising this, I’m looking forward to checking out everyone’s recs :)

I nearly decided not to take part - I have problems with self-reccing, especially when I think something has received ‘enough’ attention. It just seems greedy. But that’s a) stupid and b) I have a story I want to tell about the writing of this fic.

I have literally only one (1) which qualifies. Others have strayed too far into AU-land to count as taking place in S1. That fic is *drumroll*:

Cathexis

Hannibal/Will ~ 57k words ~ Explicit

A Season 1 BDSM AU

Summary: What if Hannibal's sadistic tendencies only find expression through consensual BDSM relationships? Set in a Season 1 AU where Will is allowed to continue teaching, relatively undisturbed by Jack, and seeks Hannibal's professional help of his own accord.

The story I want to tell is how I went from not even thinking about writing, to writing something which juuussst about qualifies as a short novel (if we go by word count) in the same bound. (And how you can too! No, just kidding - I hate those kinds of terrible advice blogs. But stick with me, there’s things in this story which might be relevant for anyone reading.)

Before this fic, I wasn’t writing. Anything. Not only that, but I wasn’t even a frustrated writer who wanted to write but couldn’t. The idea of writing had never occurred to me. Sure, I was a frustrated creative person - I have been all my life, even since I was a very small child. Just before this fic, I had been studying fine art with a load of other adult learners and trying to engage with the contemporary arts scene in a fairly amateurish but genuine way. I would have described myself as an artist. My creative friends are sculptors and printmakers and painters. We had just finished putting on a group exhibition - just to see if we could - and were thinking vaguely of other things we might do together in the future.

Enter fandom. I had come to Hannibal post-cancellation and watched all three seasons breathlessly, then wandered around Tumblr reading meta and finding great fic and thinking WHY OH GOD WHY ARE THEY LIKE THIS in a way which is familiar to anyone who has just Found Hannigram.

My gf is a fandom-savvy individual and we usually talk about our obsessions, whether they're shared or not. We came up with something which we found funny and which you most likely won’t - after steeping ourselves in Hannibal's god-complex we thought it would be hilarious to reduce him down to a common-or-garden bedroom sadist. He would make bad bondage puns and have a dungeon instead of a murder basement. Lololol etc. I even went so far as to refer to this as Fifty Shades of Graham, which if you know me, demonstrates how un-serious I was about it.

I DID NOT INTEND TO WRITE THIS is what I am trying to say. It was a joke, a bad one, and a private one. I never intended to be a writer* at all. 

Because apparently, unbeknown to me, that’s what I’ve been all this time. Secretly, under the surface somewhere. And what I think is this: I just wasn’t ready to be a writer before. I wasn’t ready to discover this about myself. The things that I did before - all the visual art, all my academic studies and crap jobs - all have, in differing and subtle ways, all fed into this part of me which wasn’t ready to come out yet. 

And I also think that this is happening to all of us. It’s just as true for you as it is for me. We all have hidden pockets of potential, things even the most self-aware of us do not know about, or refuse to look too closely at. Those pockets might not lead directly to anything life changing, they may be paths to other, deeper and more difficult to find pockets. Or simply to activities and interests we find enjoyable, a way of doing something just for ourselves or of meeting people we need in our lives.

A wise person on the internet said “follow the rabbit-holes”. They all lead to the same place anyway, and the easiest path there is the one of least resistance. Follow that strange tug, dive in, see where it leads you without worrying about the destination. You might end up being very surprised.

*It took me maybe six months to start to feel I could use the hallowed word Writer when talking about myself, and now I can even tell complete strangers this without blushing and feeling like a fraud.

18 months later and I can't imagine not planning all my not-work time around writing - I think about it constantly. It nags at me when I’m prevented from doing it by other commitments. My weeks and weekends are based squarely around which project I'm working on and how much time I have until that deadline, self-imposed or not. I have so many projects lined up they are constantly being juggled and re-ordered so I can try to maximise my available writing time in the most effective way. I’m even looking beyond fandom and beginning work on an original novel. And it all started with this fic.

For the really curious, here is how Cathexis got written (under the cut):

I read even more fic (really amazing and intimidatingly good fic too) and even more meta and I thought more and more about Hannibal and Will’s complex dynamic. The BDSM AU became less of a joke and more of a place where that could be explored without getting too tangled up in the difficulties of Will’s relationship with Hannibal. I thought about it often. There was so much discussion and activity in the fandom that the idea of putting down your feelings in the form of a story didn’t seem so strange.

But still, it didn’t seem like that was the route for me. Until, one morning after Christmas, I woke up with dialogue in my head (those moments just before and after waking are so good for weird happenings like this). I didn’t move, didn’t do anything at all, before I wrote it down on my phone. It felt like a strange thing to do at the time - trespassing in a place I didn’t quite belong. It was a compulsion. I just knew I had to do it.

I had no idea if more would follow or if I even wanted more to follow. But more did. I wrote that down to, in the same place (which, by the way, was the note app *not* anything as official as a Google Doc - the very idea :0 !!) 

It took me maybe three-four weeks of this to brave the idea of doing something with the snatches of dialogue and scattered notes which had built up. They had become pieces of a puzzle which I needed to solve - until then, I knew I wouldn’t find any peace.

I had been talking with @wraithsonwingsposts​ about the show and had encouraged her to work on a fic idea she had been playing around with. She returned the favour and was so fantastic and supportive all the way through - and therefore, this is all her fault, as she already knows ;)

The rest of the story was the same for anyone undertaking a piece of writing - one word at a time, much time staring at a blinking cursor, a lot of editing. But overall, I think what got this written and completed was keeping my aims simple. The were 1) see it through to the end (i.e. solve the puzzle), and 2) try not to make a complete tit out of myself.

I know for certain I hit one of those goals.

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Bonus: for the very-very-very curious, here is the original and un-edited version of the I wrote that morning (a version of which appears in Chapter 8), and the first thing I wrote since school:

"What kinds of things do you say when you... afterwards?" "I thought you found it too difficult to hear?" "I want to know. I can catch the odd word, but the way you say it... I like the way you sound." Hannibal hesitated for a tiny moment. Will smiled and said, "I thought it was for my benefit only you don't say it in English." Hannibal sighed and conceded, "Perhaps it's easier, sometimes." He moved closer to Will, made it almost impossible for Will to escape from what Hannibal had to tell him, and to study his face as he spoke. "I call you my darling, my lovely Will, so precious to me. I tell you how beautiful I find you, how complete my desire is and how abandoned you make me. I tell you that you are mine and belong to me, that I shall never leave you, that you have made me yours. I praise you, for being so very good, for indulging me, and for indulging yourself also. I tell you that you deserve it, and more, and I tell you I love you." Will went very quiet, almost not breathing. He had known what to expect but to hear it stated so simply was almost too much. Hannibal continued to look steadily at him, waiting. Will turned over suddenly, so he no longer could watch Hannibal's face, and pressed himself back into his body. Hannibal moved to accommodate, folding him arms around him and holding him tight. He brought his legs up so his thighs pressed into the back of Will's, and his ankles tangled with Will's also. They lay there for a few moments without speaking, bodies perfectly aligned. Will felt safe again. "If you wish to explore these issues, I have a suggestion. There are things you could wear, even in public, which could serve to remind you of my possession. Something more concrete than a bruise or a bite mark." Will considered how it might feel to have such a reminder, one he could feel wherever he was. An image came to him of a collar made of plain but good quality leather. It could be concealed under his shirts, especially if he wore ties. It would be slim but solid, with one heavy buckle to fasten it. He could almost feel it's weight resting on the back of his neck, like Hannibal had placed his hand there. Will opened his mouth to speak and then realised Hannibal was holding and touching his hand gently. The gesture was so soft and specific that Will had to look, to watch Hannibal's hands. Realisation dawned on him. Hannibal was meditatively rubbing small circles up and down in between the second and third knuckles of his third finger on his left hand. Will turned over to catch Hannibal around the shoulders and demanded, "Did you just ask me to marry you?"

Cathexis on ao3