#so luca trying to show off his nerdy side and make himself appear more like a Regular Person not Luca Valentine is very cute TO ME.

[virsancte]

tfw you thought you're gonna destroy your future father in law at simbles after playing it for months with a kid you used to babysit but he's somehow unbeatable at every board game

[rigginsstreet]

i already have a question was that jessica lucas playing an extra or just like... her twin lmfao

this whole game is so stupid i cant deal with this like we get it ras, you saw jumanji

the scene hasnt even started but alice already being pregnant is stupid. ras is stupid. alice is stupid. madchen is stupid cuz she ultimately led us here and i will never forgive her

also alice is an unreliable narrator and nothing she says is fact except for all the gay fredsythe shit. thats canon

why are we doing 80s when theyre in the 90s god..... i hate this show i had a whole soundtrack ready in my mind. it was mainly nirvana but ... its what fp wouldve wanted

alice had no friends gee... i wonder why...

IS THE WRITING THAT BAD OR IS IT CAMIS DELIVERY WHAT WAS THAT

lmfao fp blew alice off ok ya know.... im dying that they try so hard to set up flice as some epic romance meanwhile they could not give two shits about each other. obviously my boy was going around fucking every girl how else was he supposed to convince his dad he wasnt getting plowed by fred on the daily

alice and penelope.... gay. lesbians. gay lesbians. in love. always. OH COME ON YOU HAVE THE NERDY BITCHY CHICK WITH THE ASSHOLE FROM THE WRONG SIDE OF THE TRACKS ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? HELLO??? 

fp would bring up his arm being in a cast for literally no reason what does that have to do with streaking fp? hes always been a dumb bitch at least thats consistent

IM NEVER IN MY LIFE GETTING OVER FRED APPEARING OUT OF THIN FUCKING AIR TO A MEETING OF A SPORTS TEAM HES NOT EVEN FUCKING ON JUST TO RUN NAKED WITH FP ARE YOU..... WHAT..... GOD...

fred really just wanted to get detention with fp so they could have a date im cry

ras really loves his saved by the bell references huh

alice no one wants to hear your hoe stories unless theyre gay or with hal

is fp asleep with his hand over his face lmao ok thats my son

of all the time i spent talking about fp carving his initials all over the school... and they give it to alice.... fuck you. anyway riverdale high is littered with fj + fa in a heart thanks for coming to my tedtalk

tom and sierra did not date in high school. but also thats not tom so

penelope would love heathers ok.... thats my mom

and shes in love with sierra wow we stan

wow fred the gay just keeps jumping out

fred really went to look at fp before talking about how he wanted to stay in riverdale his whole life.... god he already had their wedding planned i know it

ok fred literally had no reaction to hermiones hand on his knee so... guess the feelings come later? or its bad acting idk 

oh... hmm.... so... was fred too living on elm street at this time? or is it just coincidence fps dream life takes place on the street fred will eventually settle down on.... we dont know..... either way... gay

also alice exposing fp? BUT YALL GONNA SAY THIS IS ROMANTIC OR TRAGIC OR WHATEVER BULLSHIT LIKE NAH SON. ITS JUST MEAN

yall + alice think her life wouldve been better if she married fp and had chic but like... even she herself is saying fps gonna end up a drunk like his dad so ???? next

ok so like.... on the one hand fp wanting to be the first jones to go to college makes me emotional but like .... forsythe senior being a serpent? makes no sense.... i mean... i guess? if we’re rewriting history. but uh.... literally last season fp said he joined after his dad threw him out but i guess that never happened now so whatever. but why as an adult would he want to go back to the serpents? i get desperate times blah blah but.... and then to lead the gang? idk.... and then to have your own son lead it? nah

so sierra been knew about the sisters and never did anything?? ok

ok i will say this level of stupid drama is right up there with 90s soaps so like... kudos to that lmfao

fred gave fp half his sandwich just like julia and i have been saying get... out... :’)

alice carved fp and freds initials next to each other lmfao even she knew! bitch!

fred draping himself over the desks is gay culture

i literally cannot handle all the subtle fredsythe happening in this episode ras really came for my whole fucking scalp

FP AND HERMIONE FUCKED IM SORRY I DONT MAKE THE RULES

penelopes so fucking gay... so fucking gay. good for her

fp and hermiones season 1 interactions are suddenly making so much sense they... were in love we just need to accept this and move on with our lives

hermione: so fp what went down between you and alice. fp: not me thats for sure!

fp putting on the crown and fred immediately going into a sword fight... so anyway they fucked!

they really trying to force this heterosexual nonsense down our throats like im sorry its too little too late fred and fp are gay i can never buy anything heterosexual interaction again. besides the ones i deem appropriate. i am the gatekeeper. 

WHO IS PENELOPE FIGHTING WITH THAT STANCE

why are they in the same outfits all the time ???

michael sounds so much like his dad but like just with maybe a deeper register. i love baby hiram hes the only son i claim. besides gay fredsythe. but the flice and fremione scenes are when theyre dead to me. ok i can forgive fremione. kinda

FREDHEADS DIDNT EXIST TIL SENIOR YEAR I WILL KEEP SHOUTING THIS FROM THE ROOFTOPS AND FRED AND FP WERE THE ONLY MEMBERS EXCEPT OCCASIONALLY TOM BUT IM HAPPY TO KNOW MY BOY FP WAS ON DRUMS THATS CUTE AS HELL

interesting how fp was supposed to tell alice freds dad died. fp had to console his boyfriend he didnt have time to call alice ok

penelope and alice, fred and fp, sierra and hermione sitting across from each other. these are riverdales endgames.

also i know fp was running his foot up freds leg soothingly under the table dont play with me. he couldnt do much more than that they were in public he had to comfort his boyfriend somehow

penelope essentially: WE TAKE THIS TO OUR GRAVE!

fp..... honey... no.... spit is not necessary

everybody wants to rule the world is a fucking bop tho so ill forgive them this

ok but fred HAD THE BAND SENIOR YEAR HELLO

hermione spent the whole episode talking about how she wanted hiram and now at the end she gets with him but doesnt want it? lies

FRED AND FP ARE ROMEO AND JULIET STOP TRYNA SAY EVERYONE ELSE IS. BITCH

also fp.... won them the state championship senior year so.... he... didnt give that up omfg i hate this

yall.... they did hal so dirty i cant believe. i mean... ugh whatever i dont care

but fred and hermione went on a date senior year.... ok

[missjackil]

A Dose of SPN Positivity!

For those who know me, they know I love this show.... flaws and all! im critical sometimes, but not overly. Bottom line, I am addicted to the story and Im in love with Sam and Dean.  With Season 14 about to start, and we’re all getting antsy, too much negativity has been flying around, so I want to share some things i love most about the show, and maybe make some of you reflect for a moment and think “Yeah, that is pretty great” and smile.  Supernatural has been referred to as “The Little Show That Could” and to me, its such a fitting description. Logically, on the surface, it looks like it just can’t. I mean, how can a fantasy/horror show, survive with such a low budget, light special effects, and not very scary most of the time. I mean hell, they dont even have that many monsters that look like monsters, so why has it lasted longer than a season or 2? Let alone, 14 seasons with no signs of stopping yet. First and foremost is obvious. Sam and Dean and the actors who play them.  This essay will be full of gushing about these boys, so if you dont feel like enduring such a hardship, scroll on past. if that interests you.....

Yes these 2 fabulous men are the life blood of this show. Without them, we’d have nothing. THEY are the reason, this little show can, and does. Even those who like one and not the other, even if they dont realize it, the one they prefer is who they are because of the other. Both of their qualities and flaws can be directly linked to their influence on each other. If for some reason the other was gone for good, the one left will change drastically. As we see when one is dead or in grave danger, albeit temporarily, the other changes. Sam is no longer sweet, laid back and practical, and Dean is no longer funny, charming, and nurturing.  In fact, they both seem to become an amplified version of their brother. When Sam dies, Dean gets quiet, sometimes too quiet. He also gets methodical and focused. You may get lucky and just get shot in the back, but if he chooses to speak, he chooses his words to let you know shits gonna hit the fan. “You have my brother, and you have one chance, just one, to hand him over, and if he isnt in one peice, when I find you, and I WILL find you, I will take you apart” Sam on the other hand is boiling over with emotion. My boy becomes savage. He doesnt always choose a lot of words to say, he gets his whole point across most of the time with “WHERES MY BROTHER???!!!!” This... my friends, is good stuff! These things couldnt be done with such beauty without Jared and Jensen. Their offscreen relationship, whatever it may be, is wonderful. Theres no denying the love and respect they have for each other. They are very supportive of each other, and help make the other better at their job. They’re not typical actors who have a work relationship but otherwise spend time with each other. They genuinely enjoy being together, and this shows on screen. When two people are this good at their jobs, and with each other, you just have to keep watching. Other things I love about the show, are kinda small. Some maybe youve never noticed, but maybe now you will and enjoy them too, like... Brains vs Brawn: At first glance, we all go Sam=brains, Dean=brawn right? But thats not actually the case. Dean is far from stupid, and Sam is nowheres near a wimp. Dean teases Sam about being a nerd, and Sam doesnt mind, he kinda wears his nerdiness like a badge of honor. Dean will never admit to being a nerd, but he is. He’s read Vonnegut, knows every old west cowboy statistic, and likes LARPing. Sam, though a bookworm, is one tough mofo. hes tall and muscular and has shown to be a little freakishly strong. He can also take a great deal of pain. And though Dean is known more to be the fighter, he can be very warm and nurturing. And nerdy Sam can make you shit your pants with just a look if you piss him off just right. I absolutely LOVE this balance!! Its one of my favorite things! Old school vs New; A lot has changed in 14 seasons. The brothers have grown, as well as the story, but their roots are never forgotten. They’re still driving around in the same car. Hell. Baby has become the 3rd lead! Even though they have mom back, they never forgot her, or dad, and both were spoken of often throughout the series. They refer back to old days often, so we can all get a feel of nostalgia when we remember too. Most episodes bring the deep past up in one way or another, I love this! Loss and Death: I know so many of us complain that they die and come back too much, but I have a real appreciation for it, The circumstances are always different, and so are the methonds of coming back. Sometimes the death isnt serious, or they dont “seem” dead, like in First Blood or Dark Side of the Moon, when there may have been an initial “wtf?” we got to see them in heaven, and in first blood, they came right back. However there was deep seriousness in All Hell Breaks Loose, No Rest for the Wicked,  Do You Believe in Miracles, Swan Song, Red Meat and Beat The Devil that you felt the dying brother’s physical pain, and then the emotional pain of the surviving brother.  No matter how many times they die, they still hit these types of episodes out of the park. WE may know theyre coming back, but they dont. it still crushes them and I love this! Sam and Dean’s Sexuality: I love that their sexual natures are different, but theyre both okay. Dean is sexually active, enjoys porn and vocalizes some fantasies, Though Sam can tease him a little, its just brotherly ribbing, its not judgemental or trying to make Dean feel bad. Sam isnt overly sexual, he’s gone many seasons without sex at all. He doesnt appear to enjoy porn, we know he doesnt like strip clubs, and its NOT because he’s unattractive!! Dean teases him but he doesnt try to make him feel bad. When he has heavily suggested that Sam get laid, its just because he wants him to have fun. Dean even said he appreciated that Sam wanted to stay pure and waited. Otherwise, its okay that Sam is (at least kinda) asexual. Neither are shunned or judged because of their sexuality. Winsync: This is one of the greatest things. if they didnt do this, we wouldnt care, we would never say “It would be a much better show if the brothers mirrored each other, or did the same thing at the same time” but for whatever reason, TPTB wanted this, and it works so well! Its an intimacy we can see without the show going OTT bromantic. Its the connection, the closeness, and being soulmates. I LOVE this! Soulmates and Brothers: Normally a show will make soulmates out of lovers. It’s not often they do it with siblings. It helps justify their deep love and devotion. It adds an additional layer to their relationship. It makes them so tied together that they will share eternity in heaven together, and not just in their memories. This was a very good decision made by Kripke and crew, so we will all know they cant live without each other, even if they just lived in different homes. I love this! Meta Madness: Though I dont like all the meta episodes, I do love the fact they can do them, and DO do them. Because the whole premise is the supernatural, nothing is impossible, even AUs and cartoon worlds. Sometimes I might roll my eyes, but its awesome to me that they can experiment this way and see how it goes. I Love this!! The Bros are Oblivious: Sam and Dean have been through basically everything, and have seen and done everything, yet they seem shocked when people say theyre famous, or when they heard people tell stories about them. Occasionally they grasp their importance, like when they tell people they save the world, but they were impressed that Asa fixed killed 5 Wendigo, and had an Angel Blade, and Father Luca met the Pope. I mean God hung out at the bunker and made them pancakes! Their Heads Dont Get Too Big: Every once in a while, TPTB make sure we, and the boys, remember that they are only human. Even if they lock away Satan, kill Death, save God’s life, they’re just men. Remember when Bobby died and Dean was sure he wouldnt because “its just one bullet!” ? I can see how it would seem so silly to Dean, and even to us, that someone who has lived through so much, could die from a stupid little bullet. I think that one of the smartest things the show has done in ages, was to have Sam tortured by Toni and friend. Sam was so bold and cocky (and need I say sexy?) telling Toni he’d been tortured by the devil himself, and what could she do to him... He soon learned Hell torture or not,  cold showers still suck, blow torches to the feet still hurt like hell, and a mortal human can still fuck with his head. And Dean, well he can still be put on the injured reserve list from a jacked up leg. IMO S12 was great for re-humanizing the Winchesters. I love this! Comedy to Tragedy: Some of the best episodes, started out funny and ended in a tear jerker. Mystery Spot, Just My Imagination, and Beat The Devil top my list. I love the emotional rollar coaster, Coming away exhausted from an episode is the bestthing I can ask for! They havent tried it the other way around, tragedy to comedy, and thats good. If you are crying at the beginning and laughing later, it doesnt justify the grief and you may feel let down and hollow after. SPN is great with having some humor in even the most depressing episodes, but they know when using it and leaving it out is best. I love this! Brohugs: My #1 favorite thing, aside from the hug in 6.1, they have all been beautiful. Not once, have the boys lost the love, or even repeated the same hug. Each one conveys a different message, a different emotion, but all say “I love you more than everything” and I wont ever get tired of them! I would do anything for a single hug in my whole life that had such love in it, as any Winchester bro hug! I.LOVE.THIS!! Now I hope if you read this far, you got to smile a few times, and a spark was added to the fire that you fell in love with 14 seasons ago. Here’s to S14, i hope its filled with all of these wonderful things!

[musicallisto]

Can I get shipped with a TRR/ES/ILITW character? No gender preferences. I have light brown hair, green eyes, glasses (with blue frame). I am a male, thin, hungry almost always, shy, kind of hard to be talked to until I am comfortable with that person, nerdy, scared, an overthinker, dreamy.

I Ship You With…

Q U I N N   K E L L Y

• I ship you with Quinn! I think she would totally adore you right at first glance. I headcanon you would meet through work, working at the same bakery in New York, a place famed for its exquisite cupcakes. You would have different shifts, so at first you hardly ever saw each other at first, only when you would symbolically exchange aprons, until Quinn would dare make the first move and ask you out on a date. Well, it was a date in her head at least, because you didn’t interpret it that way… it would be just a casual getaway, driving for a few hours out of the city to the seashore, taking long walks by the water and building sandcastles on the wet, Atlantic beach. You were oblivious about Quinn’s intentions at first, just thinking it was a bonding activity, something coworkers do to get to know each other better, right? But when she kissed you at the end of the night, as you suggested walking back to your car and heading home, and she breathed deeply, watching the gray ocean for the last time, then turning on her heels and capturing your lips with hers in a swift, unexpected moment, you quickly understood how blind you had been. And you also quickly understood how much you wanted this - how much you wanted her.

• Okay so, since you are “hungry almost always”, I can definitely see this little scene happening between you two. So one day, after you’re married, Quinn would buy a very elaborate, ornate box of chocolates, something that definitely looks like an expensive gift for someone you esteem profoundly. The truth is it’s a present for Michelle, with whom she had plans to meet on the following day. Unbeknownst to you, of course - she had told you, but you were thinking about something else, or just didn’t remember it on the moment. So when you come home from work, a little earlier than normal, exhausted and starving, and see an appetizing box of chocolates, so varied, mouthwatering, colorful and sweet… you don’t think twice about it and engulf the entire content of the package in no time at all. Needless to say, when Quinn comes home, a few hours later, and sees the disemboweled box lying heavy on the kitchen countertop, abandoned and miserable… she is a bit angered, of course, because that chocolate was expensive, but when you give her your most bashful, sorry smile, and suggest going with her to buy another box (implicitly hinting at a… lively evening together), she sighs with a slight smile, holds you close in her arms and rests her head on your large shoulder. It’s just a box of chocolates, after all… she would trade any if it meant having you by her side.

D R A K E   W A L K E R

• I ship you with Drake! He would be intrigued by your closed-off personality, not realizing it’s really how he appears himself. Well, actually, he imagines it a little because of the countless times Liam has told him he was being a little too secretive and snarky, but he never thought he was acting that way at that extent. So that similarity in your characters would definitely entice him to learn as much as possible about you and have you liberated of your shell. When you first arrive in Cordonia, it’s a little hard for you to adjust to this new environment, a whirlwind of people and smiles you’ve never known before, something you’ve never imagined… and it’s that mistrust, if not contempt towards the nobility and their political masquerade that brings you two together among other things. Getting away from the loud violins and the glittery dresses, you would find Drake on a balcony, rummaging in his thoughts and stirring a glass of whiskey in front of an infinity of stars. Unsure about whether you should approach him, you would finally decide yourself and ask if you could use a little of his drink. He would raise an eyebrow, not expecting you to be the kind of person to drink away the boredom, but would extend his arm nevertheless for you to take a sip of whiskey. That night, you ended up pouring your hearts out, laughing quitely and not so soberly falling in love with each other, although you had absolutely not planned to.

• You’re probably the most interesting and intriguing person Drake has ever met. He loves talking to you at night, when it feels like the both of you are more open, more vulnerable - and oddly enough, for the first time in his life, he’s not afraid of being vulnerable with you. You mutually help each other come out of your shell! Teaching Drake how to slow dance - “what do you mean, slow dancing isn’t a thing in Cordonia? Slow dancing is a thing everywhere, Walker” -, and him taking you to his favorite spots in the country - “it’s a small country, I can show you a few sights for waking up early for.” “if you burst into a song about how beautiful dawn is over Cordonian heels, I’m outta here.” “ha, don’t worry about that, I’m usually the villain in Disney movies anyways.” -, it’s a true adventure dating him. At first, you’re a little afraid about his friends’ reactions when they learn the news, but they are so supportive of your couple it’s incredibly refreshing, and even if there are still some people that ask you questions close to indecency, or don’t seem to understand that you love each other and that’s the only thing they need to know, being in the face of public it’s not that bad, after all. At least it gives you all the great advantages being close friends of the King offers… like the most luxurious hotel suites and free European getaways all over the continent, only you two, together, facing the rest of the world.

L U C A S   T H O M A S

• I ship you with Lucas! I think he would have that dynamic of trying his best to bring out the best of you and ease your insecurities at first, before letting you know about his own. Like, that boy is so selfless he always puts your interests before his, despite all the trouble he’s facing with his parents and his addiction. He would be the most dedicated gentleman, a bit unsure at first - is he doing too much? is he coming off too strong or too clingy? -, but a real smooth fucker at the same time. For example, he knows very well that you hate answering phone calls and would rather send texts all the way, but always calls you instead of sending you a message, and one day it drives you mad to the point that you ask him why he does that, as though he purposefully wants to annoy you, and he looks down, cheeks crimson, and ashamedly admits that it’s because he loves hearing your voice and he misses it very quickly. You’re completely stunned by his revelation, you didn’t expect to see Lucas’s defenseless side so soon in your relationship, but you sigh softly and hug him tight, because it’s at that moment that you understand he’s a catch and you’d be damned if you let him go.

• The more time passes, the more comfortable you get around Lucas and the more walls you start to break down for him to see your insides. It makes you a little uneasy at first, but Lucas is very cautious about your well-being and is okay with taking all the time you need to take things a little further. You start to get cheeky as well after a few weeks, invinting him over for lazy “study dates” (which are actually afternoons during which Lucas tries his hardest to study with you taking all the space on his lap, where his laptop and books should be, but the sight of you, your glowing eyes and parted lips is much more attractive than equations and formulas), and another kind of dates, your “diner dates”, pretty much what it sounds like, and this time you’ve both ordered the hugest milkshake in the entire restaurant, Lucas teases you about your unability to finish it - ‘try me’ you laugh with a malevolent grin, and you softly caress his hand resting on a napkin, trying to contain a sigh of pure joy and contentment. It’s just so peaceful and harmonious in your habitual diner and you would never change any detail of the scene in front of you: the customers chatting happily, the waiters carrying trays of maple syrup pancakes and your smiling boyfriend, maliciously eyeing you over the frame of his thick glasses.

Moodboard

Playlist

Bebe Rexha - Ferrari

Metallica - Whiskey In The Jar

Lost Frequencies - Reality

Imagine Dragons - On Top of the World

ships are closed!

[enkisstories]

Teen Mom and the Puppy Mill (Part 2 of 2)

Not much to say about this chapter. Except that I just HAD to include both Jacques’ and Max’s catchphrases from the story. You’ll find them near the end.

 That weekend, when Ulrike was due sitting the Munch boys, she had three other kids in tow: Brandon Colch, Amber Stein and a very embarrassed Morgan Fyres. The fact that little Amber was constantly trying to grab her hand and wave both their arms around didn’t help along Morgan’s mood at all. The two struggling girls fell behind a little. Ulrike didn’t care. She knew Amber well enough to know how this could only end. And predictably, just when Ulrike lifted her hand to ring at the Munchs’ doorbell, Amber closed up with her sitter, dragging a Morgan that was locked firmly in her grip behind her, announcing for all the world to hear that the big girl was her friend. “Hush, hush!” Ulrike shoo’ed her wards. Picking up the hint Donnie ushered the girls around the house, out Mrs. Munch’s sight. Ulrike spent a couple of minutes inside, then Mrs. Munch left and after another short wait Ulrike exited the home with Wolfgang and Lucas.

Wolfie nodded a silent acknowledgement of Morgan’s presence into the girl’s direction. They were in the same year and had some courses together. In fact, nerdy Wolfgang Munch was a prime target of Morgan’s and under normal circumstances the girl would have made sure to exchange neither words nor gestures with the runt of the litter. However, after having encountered Amber, Morgan was past upholding her dignity and still a little weak from the cold anyway, so she blurted out: “Your parents still treating you like a little kid, too?” “Because they hired me to guard you?” Ulrike interjected. “I think that’s less about anything that might happen to Wolfie and more about whom he could happen to.” “Oh, come on, just admit you love me!” Wolfgang snorted. Morgan looked the boy up and down, intrigued. The self-confident version of himself was different from the Wolfgang at school. This Wolfgang was the big brother, the brave one who had stood up against his dad, the one who made his mommy proud by bringing home good report cards. The son who would go far in life. And it showed in every inch of the kid’s movements. Just to test Wolfgang’s true mettle, Morgan brought forth Amber, saying “Meet my friend!” And while Wolfgang fell victim to a charmer toddler assault kicking and screaming, Morgan admired her new close-range weapon from a few heads above. ”Get it off, get it off meeeee!” That was Donnie, after Amber had remembered that she hadn’t hugged him before and went to remedy her lapse. “She’s totally my new friend”, Morgan told Ulrike, beaming. “Just look at her destructive potential!” “Your friend, huh?” Ulrike replied. “So what was her name again?” “Um…”

While the group was moving – trotting in Donnie’s case – down the road, Lucas eagerly explained to the rest that they were headed to the ruins of the old watchtower on a nearby hill. There’s be a fireplace and grass to play in and a bench for old woman Ulrike to rest on.

“That’s not where we are going today, sunshine”, old woman Ulrike corrected.

The group stopped at a bus stop, one of the tiny ones that were littered all across the countryside. Amber and Lucas played a hands-clasping game, Wolfgang studied the schedule and Morgan addressed Ulrike: “You ARE aware that my parents booked a babysitter so I could feel safe in the familiarity of our home and enjoy all the comforts and personal attendance the daycare cannot offer?” What Ulrike became more and more aware of was that the Fyres couple had hired her because Morgan was too old for the daycare, but the house wasn’t old enough to be left to an unsupervised Morgan. And that the older Fyres sister was clever enough to coincidentally have uncancelable appointments whenever she’d have to watch over Morgan… “Girl, the attendance YOU need is a few years solitary confinement and probably several meters of duct tape!” Ulrike accompanied her words by moving her fingers across her mouth in an unmistakeable gesture. “What?!” Morgan flared up. By now she had picked up that this particular babysitter wouldn’t be above doing exactly that to her. “But I’m just speaking my mind!” “That’s no justification for doing it in any imagineable way!” Ulrike retorted. “And ‘sides, poor Donnie’s close to tears already because of all the strangers!” Morgan cried out. “I’m not!” “Are, too!” Ulrike turned away. Kids were kids, and it was best to let them.

But just in case she wanted even more children, a poster across the road advertised the latest breakthrough in fertility treatments. “Great”, Ulrike thought, “More ways to get children that aren’t me.” There were childless parents and parentless children, but the first didn’t want the second. They craved copies of themselves instead, resulting in kids like Ulrike remaining “in the system” for years. It was what added to the growing discontent between the teenager and Auntie Haas, her adoptive mom. Had Ulrike grown up in a family right from the start, her parents would surely have noticed she wasn’t a child anymore and helped her transition into an artist. Whereas Auntie seemed to view her adoptive daughter as a rescue cat that needed to be coddled all the time to make up for lost opportunities. Maike had it so easy! All one needed to become a writer was a computer, which was an acceptable item in the Haas household, because you could play games on it. A painter had it harder. Everything was ALWAYS harder for Ulrike and there were times when she hated the world for that instead of proudly sailing on the waves of chaos (as Maike had described her adoptive sister once).

The bus arrived, requiring Ulrike to herd the children inside, putting a stop to her musings. And it brought something even worse then the ad to the teen girl’s attention. “What’s the matter, Uli? Someone hurt you?” That was ever-friendly Lucas. Such a darling the youngest Munch brother was! The kind of kid that made Ulrike vomit; whom she developed parenting strategies for like a worker in a garbage processing plant would treat the potentially disease-causing waste: efficient but with utter disdain. Needless to say, Lucas LOVED Ulrike.

“Yes”, Ulrike answered Lucas’s question. “The councilman Harold Bjergsen.”

“Oh!” went Wolfgang, excitedly. “In a past life!”

Donnie stiffled a laugh. He was into rocketships and scoffed on mystic stuff.

“Yeah”, Ulrike said, looking out through the window.

But the unkind truth was that the councilman had hurt Ulrike in this very life. How he had managed that across a century-wide gap was explained easily without resorting to the supernatural: Windenburg’s buses were named after famous sons and daughters of the town. The one Ulrike and the children were riding in at the moment was called “Senior Postmaster & Councilmaster Harold Bjergsen”. Few people took notice of the names, but Ulrike knew all of them and she hated them with passion! That postmaster… he’d had everything in life already, wealth, competence and respect. While she, Ulrike Faust-Haas, was a nothing and would die a nobody. Why did he have to rub it in even after his death? Everything… Why?! Everything... A cold, damp garbage heap outside the city walls for a grave... Nothing...

*

Later that day the postmaster was not forgotten, but shoved into a dark corner for longterm storage just like his bones in the bonehouse. Ulrike and the children were watching TV, all the fun stuff parents claimed made kids dumb.

Wolfgang Munch was munching on - or wolfing down, either made for a pun Morgan just couldn’t resist - the second red apple from overseas. Normally when Mila brought home one of this expensive sort from work, she sliced it into three pieces, one for each of her sons. Not so in this mansion, here the rare treat was considered a snack. For invited visitors, that was... “Don’t be so greedy!” Lucas scolded his brother when Wolfie had finished and grabbed another one. “Think of Snow White! And of Eve!” Wolfgang just shrugged and bit into the uge fruit. It’s juice was dripping down his chin. Amber, however, put hers back into the bowl after hearing the names of princesses who had unfortunate accidents after eating apples. “Apples are good for kids”, Ulrike felt the need to announce. Then she chuckled: “Unlike the Dino Riders...” “Bah! What do the Villareal have a widescreen super-duper-HD TV anyway, if they only use it to watch the news?” Morgan replied. Then the girl paused, considered, went a little red in her face and went “Oh... wow.”

“How does it even work?” Brandon complained, totally missing Morgan’s sudden insight into Mr. Villareal’s mind. “Do I forget triangle equations from watching Dino Riders? So why don’t I forget them from doing household chores?” “Ey?” Morgan shot the boy a puzzled look. Perhaps she had passed her flu on to him and he was fevering? “For real!” Brandon ranted on. “Housework is allowed, but the Dino Riders aren’t. Does mom think I’m thinking of triangle equations while doing the housework?” “Probably”, little Maxis Sandro chimed in. “We’ve got servants for the chores, though.” Now it was Brandon’s turn to go “Ey?”. “I was joking, you know?” he told the pre-schooler. Maxis straightened his small body on the sofa. “Cartoon shows makes you dumber”, he started to explain, “because they steal time from watching shows that make you more educated. And being educated makes you appear smarter!!! And the silly shows only make you crave more of them and so they steal MORE time from honing your brain… And can we please go back to pretending we are children now…?”

“We ARE kids!” Wolfgang provided an insight at which Max only shrugged. “Well, lucky you, then”, the Villareal scion told the older boy. In another ‘verse he’d probably fail school at the age of ten and rampage through the countryside with public school trash for his friends. But here, in the real world, Jacques de Villareal would not allow his youngest child to run wild and waste the genes he had passed to him*.

*That “other ‘verse” refers to Sims 4 canon, actually. No one said a word. The show continued. Questar was exiled from the Dino Riders, which was pretty serious stuff, but the children didn’t pay attention. Max Villareal noticed how everyone’s gazes rested on him after his speech, a situation the kid hadn’t been trained for yet. He felt caged, challenged and utterly helpless. Max reacted in the only way his developing brain would allow:

“Go lick a dead dog’s snout all of you!” he shouted, followed by a long wail: “Waaaaahhhhhhhh!”

“Kid’s weird”, Morgan remarked.

“Waaaa! Shut up! I didn’t inviiiiiiiiite youuuuuuu!”

Ulrike shook her head. The pre-schooler reacted just like expected from one who was exposed to what this one was. It was sad, if one thought about it longer. The urge to preserve at least a tiny bit of childhood for one who wasn’t allowed to fully plunge into it rose up in Ulrike… just like it had in her adoptive mom. For a moment Ulrike felt connected, somehow, to Auntie Haas. They needed to have a talk… someday. Probably. Or not. Because first things first:

“Will you stop that already, Maxis Sandro?!” Ulrike yelled.

“Nooooooo! Don’t wannaaaaaaaa!”

“But, Ma… Maxi…” Ulrike stuttered. She had dealt with difficult toddlers before, but Maxis Sandro, shy, soft-spoken (if he spoke at all) Maxis Sandro turning into one came so out of the blue that every strategy the teen mom had ever come up with to counter the tantrum was blanked out, unavailable as if it had never been learned in the first place.

“I… I think all we can do is wait till he ends it on his own…” the teenager ventured.

“Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!” went Max, flailing around his legs, fingers clenched into fists.

“That does it!” snapped Brandon. “I’m out of here!”

And off the couch he jumped and to the door he ran. Ulrike followed in hot-pursuit while Max started bobbing up and down triumphantly on his cushion. What a day!

And it got even better when the other children heard Donnie cry out “Wow! You must see that!” in a rare fit of wanting to share something he had discovered with other children. “That pool!!!”

Max jumped off the couch.

“I’m a good swimmer!” he proclaimed. “I’ll show you!”

Wolfgang spat well-chewed foreign apple mush across the living room. The five year old in the deep swimming pool? Wasn’t that way too dangerous?!

“You’re staying right here!” he demanded, but Max had already gotten a headstart and cut the low flight of stairs leading to the backyard by simply jumping down. While running he let fly his shoes, socks and shirt, followed by the older boy who was desperately trying to “rescue” the child. “Quick, Brandon, catch him!” Wolfgang shouted. Donnie looked around, understood, but the much smaller Villareal boy evaded his clumsy attempts at capturing him. Wolfgang sped up, now Morgan (with Amber’s tiny fingers locked firmly into her belt) left the house, too, and only Lucas stayed behind, eyeing the apples not unlike Adam in paradise. “No!” the boy told himself, crossing his arms. “I must not be a thief!” And then he, too, went to see what happened outside.

Ulrike stood by, watching the ensueing chaos with a smug smile on her face, in the comfortable knowledge that Max had lied. The youngest Villareal child wasn’t a “good” swimmer. He was actually a two-legged fish, at home in the water and, as an added benefit, way less likely to break anything while in the pool than in the house.

*

The afternoon sun was crawling across the sky, hiding behind the ruins that were looming over the island in a sort of premature sunset. Long shadows engulfed Villareal Manor and with it the handful of people that were standing just outside the gate. They liked shadows, these boys and girls, feeling right at home in darkness’ embrace. Lucas and Amber had curled up under a tree together, snuggling after an exiting and eventful day. But Ulrike, Wolfgang, Brandon, Morgan and Max stood upright close together, watching the minor sunset.

“You are not to tell anybody about today”, Ulrike instructed the children. “Otherwise you won’t…”

“Give that back! It’s mine!”

“Race me!”

“A moment, please”, Ulrike said with a sigh, then strolled over towards the patch of sand where the older Villareal children, Hugo and Luna, were argueing.

After solving the conflict, Ulrike returned.

“Ey, sorry, clandestine oaths ain’t what they used to be”, she apologized.

“Otherwise we won’t be allowed to return here, we know”, Morgan finished the teenager’s sentence from before the twins had interrupted the pledge. “Trouble is, I don’t need to play here, our house is almost as nice. But I won’t be a telltale if I can bring my friend next time!”

“The one with the mirror?”

“Yeah, that one.”

“Good thing he didn’t break it and conjured seven years of bad luck upon the two of you, then. Okay, bring him.”

“But he must take the oath!” Wolfgang demanded.

“He will, I promise!”

Wolfgang took a few steps towards Morgan. To his delight he discovered that he was actually taller than his schoolyard nemesis!

“This is serious, Morgan!” the boy snarled. “Your boyfriend’s behavior is on your hide!”

“Oh… okay”, Morgan whispered, then grinned. “You should be mean more often, Wolfie! It becomes you!”

“I…” Wolfgang’s hand shot to the back of his head, but Ulrike grabbed and forced it down.

She watched as the children came up with their own words for a pledge and recited punishments for speaking about this place or, worse, leaving the group for any reason. But just when the girl wanted to wake Lucas and Amber for the journey back, Max grabbed her by the wrist.

“Come on, Uli”, he urged her. “You must take the oath or you cannot be a Renegade!”

A what where how?!

“That’s us! Our name for our group!” Max pressed on.

“Ah. And not pleading loyality to the, erm, Renegades, would be bad how exactly…?” Ulrike inquired.

“You wouldn’t be allowed to return here with us!”

“But I’m your nanny! Without me you CANNOT come here at all. Well, YOU could, obviously, but none of the others.”

“Yes, exactly!” Max cried. “That’s why it’s so important that you take the oath!”

The sun was setting. There was no time to argue or try reason. Besides, what could it hurt? It was just another game Ulrike way playing with her children. Nothing soul-wrenching that would bind them beyond death at all. Now where had THAT thought come from...?!

*

Skipping forward a couple of years the summer sun found the “Renegades” frolicking in the Villareal mansion as if no time had passed. They had grown older, more capable in what they put their energy to, but those endeavours were no longer the ones their parents had expected their darlings to undertake.

Wolfgang wasn’t bringing home straight As anymore, but had nevertheless managed to score a scholarship. He seemed to care about nothing, taking nothing serious. Morgan had come to the conclusion that the betterment of humankind had to start by putting them all behind bars, locking the door and throwing away the key. Carlos was into videogames and talked about becoming a career soldier, because that was where the big money was. This in turn irked Brandon, because he was into videogames, too, but he got ridiculed for it. So for a time he tried to emulate Carlos. Since this worked out well, the boy continued mimicking others until it was hard to pinpoint whether he had an actual personality. Max was still unstable as a thrust sheet and that was the best that could be said about the boy. In between starting and scraping paintings “Teen mom” Ulrike continued to work as a babysitter, nevermind that the toddlers and infants she was to watch were locked in a room somewhere in the mansion. The Renegades would occasionally feed them and they held drinking contests over diaper cleaning duty. They also practiced taking sweets from babies at the children in Ulrike’s care. You couldn’t threaten babies into handing over their candy. And if you attempted to just take it from them, they’d cry, cries that you couldn’t stiffle without suffocating the little ones. So you had to grab the goodies without making them go off. All things considered, taking candy from babies was a form of art that the Renegades strived to master. ‘On a sidenote, Ulrike and Wolfgang as well as Morgan and Carlos were definitely no couples, no Sir! Just practicing for a real relationship sometime in the future… one of the kind that Brandon of all people already had. That lousy bastard thinking he could go ahead of his friends!

How long had it been now that her babysitting job had turned into getting payed to hang out with her friends, Ulrike wondered? Bringing all her clients’ kids into the spacious Villareal estate had been her best idea! The younger ones resigned pretty quickly and the older ones joined into the ruckus around the premises. If anything broke, it could always be blamed on the ever-squabbling Villareal twins Hugo and Luna and the twins would lower their heads in their father’s presence and “confess” their misdeed. Because if they didn’t, the Renegades would tell Jacques about all the things the twins had done that warranted sterner punishment then the occasional trashed vase and handrail. “What if the parents realize you’re herding their darlings to the island?” Max asked one day while handing her a tankard. Ulrike shrugged. She accepted the beer, overlooking the fact that Max leisurely drank from another beer-filled tankard himself. “They simply mustn’t. I need…”

“…the money”, a rasping voice finished the sentence. “I understand.”

Ulrike, Carlos, Brandon, Morgan, Wolfgang and Max turned their heads.

In the door stood the widower Jacques de Villareal, wealthiest enterpreteur and rumored godfather of Windenburg. The man had been standing in the hallway all the time, watching, drawing conclusions and smiling.

Wolfgang dropped his tankard. Morgan quickly disposed hers by forcing it into the hands of whoever stood next to her. Turned out it was little Max…

Jacques took the beer from Carlos, who didn’t even try to fight. “Thank you, my boy”, the houseowner said and took a deep gulp, as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened and he had just returned to be greeted by his faithful, because well-payed servants.

Next the man casually strolled over to the table where Knights of the Hedge Action figures were pitted against monsters from outer space. It spoke of how their owners had not matured, but at least aged, that a number of those space warriors were locked into what could be called “couple poses”...

“Brings back memories”, Jacques remarked, but didn’t dwell on that notion. “Whatever. You’ve got a remarkable grasp of timing, Ms. Faust, with getting the kids here and back again without anyone ever noticing. But let’s not squander your other talents. There’s something you could do for me… something that would make me refrain from telling your other clients that you are running a puppy mill and also forget the fact that you are doing it in my house. We understand each other?”

“I’ll get payed eventually?”

“Certainly.”

Determined Ulrike raised her tankard and Jacques banged his against the girl’s.

*

“A nice selection of retainers you’ve acquired there, son”, Jacques told his youngest child later. “Very different from your sister’s Paragons or Hugo’s insistence on working alone. I approve of that. Diversifying is nature’s most powerful strategy and it should be ours, too.” Max turned his head ever so slightly. “You make it sound as if I owned the Renegades, father…” he started, only to be silenced by Jacques: “You think they are your friends, then?”

The boy nodded eagerly!

“Oh, Max! Friendship means exchanging favours on more generous terms. It can only happen between equals. These kids have nothing to offer you, at least not on the scale you and me measure ourselves.” Max pressed his lips tightly together. Eventually he opened his mouth again: “You want me to believe that, father, because if they weren’t inferior, the Renegades might be rivals for you in my heart!”

SLAP!

The bitchslap was followed by a series of hits that left the boy lying flat on his face.

“Damn… damn you… old man! I know I’m right!”

Jacques sighed, then knelt down.

“Hate me now?”

“No…”

“Okay. Listen… and sit up for hell’s sake! Okay, that’s better.”

Looking his son into his eyes more seriously than Max had ever seen his father do before, Jacques said: “Everyone is a slave of something or someone. No way around that, kiddo, sorry. We can only choose the ties that bind us. And I’d rather see you choose your family than a bunch of random thugs, Maxis. Because when push comes to shove, can you really trust these strangers?” “I…” Max started. “I think I understand what you’re trying to say. But, father, I don’t think I approve of it.”

“Well, that’s the priviledge of youth, I suppose. Something I’ll have to endure with the three of you for some more time. So go out into the world and make your own experiences! I can wait.”

*

From now Ulrike Faust copied artwork “for the man”. But the young woman found less and time to concentrate on her art, improve it or develop her own style. The forgeries Ulrike churned out were sold to unsuspecting customers or swapped for originals in museums. And more often than not the Renegades were the ones doing the swapping. In turn Jacques had promised to promote Ulrike’s original works. There were times when the Renegades didn’t agree with the aging godfather. Those times they told themselves that they had been a gang and the scourge of the schoolyard before becoming the newest addition to the mob. But every time they went their own way, the Renegades did nothing different than in Jacques’ employ: performing minor crimes (but for ourselves this time!) and cowing people (but this time for fun!).

And so it began.

[generallyspecificblog]

  I watched episodes 1 & 2 of the new season of Stranger Things on Netflix this weekend, its been a long time coming. I’ve been waiting patiently for this season since the last one ended. The show grew on me in a big way, i did not like it initially. Something about it is mysterious and innocent and this season looks to have more of a suspenseful and scary vibe. I’ve only watched two episodes thus far so this is an incomplete project but I felt I needed to write about it because i haven’t blogged a long one in a few days. What follows are my hot takes, conspiracy theories, and honorable mentions of “Stranger Things” Season 2.

Ah, the ’80’s, things were slower back then i’m sure, i wouldn’t know though because i was -10 in 1980. The fact that in one of the opening scenes the boys are scrambling for quarters to go play arcade games just tells me that those were the good days. Reminds me of the movie/documentary, “The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters”, if you haven’t seen that i suggest that you stop reading this blog and go watch that documentary, you will not be let down, you will also have your masculinity tested by a man named Billy Mitchell. Also that is probably the only time i’ll suggest that you stop reading the blog so you know its worth it. Anyways, quarters are king and Mike robs Nancy of her piggy bank which i think is just great, but also i feel like Nancy is a bit too old for a piggy bank.

So the boys (Will, Mike, Lucas, and Dustin) rally at the local arcade room, Those for sure were only around for laundering money i imagine, and get to playing. At some point Will hears something and wanders off and somehow he is pulled into the upside-down place, his home pretty much the whole 1st season, and sees a dark sky with red lightning and a shadow demon thing with tornadoes for arms and then snaps out of it. First off i would like to say that i do not completely understand what the show writers are going for with the existence of the “Upside-down” place. I guess the easiest way to explain it is an alternate dimension that’s evil and terrible, but i just don’t know how it all works. I will admit that i think that if i were to somehow be instantly teleported to a place like that, i would for sure only be able to cry and close my eyes until i inevitably died because that place, and that monster thing seem completely terrifying. With all of that being said i think that calling it “The Upside-Down Place” is a rookie move and who ever came up with it needs to go to prison. It’s like calling it “Creepy Avenue” or “Elm Street”, how about a better name for the place that your main characters fear and where pure evil resides. As a matter of fact i will no longer refer to it as the “Upside-down” place and from here on out it will be called the “Thunderdome” or “Satans Basement” or “Oklahoma” ANYTHING but “Upside-down” place.  So, Will snaps out of it somehow and his excuse to his friend for being outside is that he needed some air, I found that funny because this show is set in the 80’s and no chance kids were as messed up and snowflakey as they are now. “Needing some air” in the 80’s was just something you said when you wanted your 3rd cigarette from your 2nd pack of the day, i assume. Be more dramatic Will.

The cameos in these first two episodes were very interesting and i didn’t hate them, i’d actually be excited if they all stayed on as regulars. First we have Brett Gelman playing Murray Bauman, aparrently some kind of private investigator with suspicion of Russian assistance in the events that transpired last season. Gelman is killing it lately with the cameos and honestly is just a really funny guy, i will never forget him in The Other Guys as the Arnold Palmer obsessed wanna-be swinger who begs Will Ferrels character to bang his wife.

Next and my favorite so far is the incomparable Mikey Walsh, the lovable Samwise Gamgee, Rudy HIMSELF, Sean Astin playing Bob “The Brain” Newby. Sean Astin is top 10 in my favorite actors, all around good dude, and just as lovable as they get. His character in Stranger Things is Joyce Byers’ new love interest it seems, and he does a fantastic job. The dynamic between him and Joyce is weird but i am fully invested after 2 episodes. Sean Astin nerding out about video cameras and radio shack is grade-a television folks.

Other than that there is a new pair of sibling characters in the show, Billy and Maxine AKA MadMax, that i just don’t know about yet. Billy is an absolute psychopath that resembles a younger Zac Efron who is fond of younger Zac Efrons who drives like a bat outta hell. This Billy dude is like a cross between Kurt Cobain on a bender and Jack Nicholson from The Shining. Pure crazy, but an entertaining character. His sister, i’m assuming, Maxine (or Max as she so rudely corrected the zany teacher at the school) is a very boyish little girl who is apparently good at arcade games and skateboarding, possessing some of the same crazy traits as her aforementioned brother. Some subtle yet understandable misogyny is featured in a scene where the boys are spying on her and say something along the lines of “girls cant play video games”. There is a new psychiatrist guy that talks to Will too but he is very boring and on the bad guys side so i don’t particularly care for him. Out of the new characters i mentioned above i would rank them accordingly: 1. Bob 2. Murray 3. Billy 4. Maxine 956. Doctor Boring D.O.

As for our returning characters a lot has changed in good ole Hawkins and its nearing the one year anniversary of the finale of last season some time around Halloween, obviously. The iconic Reagan Bush ’84 Campaign signs make an appearance in these episodes a couple of times in peoples yards and i love it, shout out Rowdy Gentleman.  The boys are still up to their nerdy shenanigans riding around on bikes and talking on their giant walkie-talkies. An exciting part is that they dress up as Ghostbusters for Halloween and being the season is set in 1984 i give 1,000 kudos to the kids for being such trailblazing fans of the film, and 2,000 kudos to their parents for making the costumes from scratch. There is a pretty comical argument between Mike and Lucas on who gets to be Venkman, Bill Murrays character, with an awkward reference to the only black Ghostbuster, Winston Zeddemore played by Ernie Hudson, being lame because he was late to the team.

  Mike is emotionally invested in 2 boxes of toys for some reason and misses the hell out of his superhuman girlfriend, 11, just being an emo little baby pretty much the whole time. Will and Mike make some weird pact while trick-or-treating where Mike says “If you’re weird, I’m Weird” kind of like Ryan Gossling does in the Notebook (If you’re a bird, I’m a bird). Lucas and Dustin fight over who is gonna date Maxine.

Our guy Will, who spent the majority of last season in the Thunderdome, has turned into a monster in the eyes of the kids at school. He gets bullied a bit, being called “Zombie Boy” and getting notes put in his locker saying the same thing, thank god Twitter or Facebook didn’t exist back then or this dude would of 13 Reasons Why’d his way through the rest of this season, probably. He takes it with stride though, animating his new nickname pretty artistically, wouldn’t be surprised if he creates a comic book about his Zombie alter ego and becomes a millionaire.

Steve and Nancy are still an item, probably my second favorite couple behind Johnathan and crippling loneliness. Nancy has become annoying because out of the clouds she starts actually caring that her friend Barb is dead, probably because she feels guilty, i mean you’d have to be an idiot to not blame Nancy for the demise of our homely heroine, Barb. There is a scene where Nancy and Steve go have dinner with Barbs parents and enjoy some KFC #fingerlickingood. Barbs parents are delusional at this point, in denial that Barb is dead. They are not in good health, mainly because of the fried chicken, and have plans to sell their home to fund a wild goose chase led by the wacky ex-journalist, P.I. Bauman. That should be successful. R.I.P Barb. Some how Steve has become more likable. Probably because of his hair which has some how become bigger, the higher the hair the closer to heaven, i see you Steve. Nancy and Steve go to a Halloween party together where she gets tipsy on some jungle juice, or as the raging toga bro, who is later seen yakking his brains out, calls it, “Pure Fuel”. Nancy, in typical white girl wasted fashion, says “bullshit” 9 million times after getting a cup of hunch punch spilled on her and brings up the past (Her and Steve basically murdering Barb, gone but never forgotten). Surprisingly Steve peaces out instead of taking advantage of Nancy like he did last season. Johnathan, in typical lonely guy fashion, swoops in like a sad pigeon and saves the day by taking her home and tucking her in. I feel it is necessary to say that i think Johnathan looks like an anorexic Bill Hader from SNL and i hope other people see that too.

  My favorite character, 11, or Elle as Chief Hopper adorably calls her, has taken up residence in a cabin out in the sticks. Chief Hopper is my 2nd favorite character in the show and he has become some type of father figure to 11 letting her stay in his cabin and is keeping her safe from the Russians or whoever is trying to get her. 11 is still a super hero and controls stuff with her mind. She has grown her hair out lookin like a jerry curl gettin real high up there, watch out Steve. Hopper is still whippin around in that dope ass Trailblazer and totin that 6-shooter like a rootin tootin cowboy, they should call him Sheriff instead of Chief. The interaction between Sheriff Hopper and 11 is perfect and comical. 11 is still very robot-like and says “five one five” instead of 5:15 at one point alluding that she hasn’t become much more normal than the first season. There are a few flashbacks to season one including one where 11 is breaking through some gooey womb-like substance out of Thunderdome and it reminds me of Jim Carrey being born from a rhino in Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls. In another scene 11 kills and begins to cook a squirrel to eat and then beams it at some hunter dudes face in the woods because i guess that’s what Russian cyborgs do. Sheriff Hopper misses hanging out with Elle for Halloween and that broke my heart, do better man.

As usual the soundtrack for the show is the absolute best, the beginning credit song that sounds like Daft Punk time traveled back to the 80’s is up there with Game of Thrones intro song. So far the show is fantastic and there are a lot more witty references and noteworthy things to say but i have just realized that i have written 2,000+ words and most of this was just mindless stammering on and so with that i give my superlatives and predictions thus-far:

Most likely to die alone: Jonathan Byers

Worst Father of the Year: Sheriff Hopper

Most likely to Smash for sure: Hopper and Joyce

Most Improved: Barb

Best Hair: Steve

Probably Gonna Finish Last: Bob “The Brain” Newby

Most Athletic: The Bike Boys

Life of the Party: Yoga bro

Most Likely to Become President: Reagan Bush ’84

Biggest Twist: Barb is alive!

Token Black Guy: Lucas

Least Likely to do Anything, Ever: The dumb psychiatrist guy

Most likely to end up in jail or an insane asylum probably: Billy

Most Likely To Confuse The Millennium Falcon with the Starship Enterprise: My Fiance while watching the show with me.

      Stranger Things: Season 2 Return of Barb, Maybe. I watched episodes 1 & 2 of the new season of Stranger Things on Netflix this weekend, its been a long time coming.