#so lol have some word vomit
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kiisuuumii · 2 months ago
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what else is there to say (that you don't already know)
you're all i ever want to write about now. but what else is there to write about. you and the universe know how i feel; who else needs to know how i wish?
wishing that i hadn't said anything that night is futile. who i was then was no one but me. if i wish that it had been different, i would be wishing that i was never born to immigrant parents, that they didn't move out of texas, that i didn't meet the people i met, love the people i loved, that i didn't break their hearts, that i didn't break mine, that i didn't go to an in-state university, that i didn't choose to write poetry again, that i never met you. i would be wishing i weren't me.
there was no other way.
instead i wish for possibilities. i press my palms together, i hold them up and open to the universe. i hope. not that you'd be mine. but for an opportunity, to hear your voice again. to hear you laugh again.
tell me about the books you've been reading. tell me about work. tell me about project zomboid. tell me about her.
i still have so many questions for you. they sit here, collecting dust.
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pettyprocrastination · 2 years ago
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whoever this beloved anon was I am so touched by your kindness! You definitely didn’t have to do this but I am so happy you enjoy this idea and I will happily expand upon it for you!
this is just a collection of word vomit bullet points for the time being but I will happily answer any and all questions about this pair!!
warnings: violence, angst, child death (Sarah Miller), foul language, the same warnings that apply to tlou, reader is Sarah's mom and described as having similar features to her. 
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So the general Idea is that you and Joel are happily married before the outbreak. 
You had been Sarah's mother, his high school sweetheart he got pregnant when neither of you were old enough to have any reaction to the pregnancy test other than a fucking panic attack in one another’s arms. but you made it work 
you both worked but made time for one another and your sweet girl, going to museums every other weekend and joel insisting on swooping you off for a date every now and then 
nothing special. He knows you’re more of a diner gal than anything too fancy that makes you both feel out of place. 
On his birthday in 2003, you had planned to tell him that you were pregnant again. But the memories of your own fears of motherhood from all those years ago begin to swirl through your head again and you get cold feel. deciding to tell him the morning after
it is his birthday afterall, you want to focus on him. 
but when you’re woken up in the middle of the night because tommy needs to get bailed out, Joel kisses you sweetly one last time before promising he’ll be back and you can’t shake the feeling that something bad is happening. 
its you that shakes sarah awake that night. shouting at her to put on her shoes when she’s still rubbing the sleep from her eyes because you’ve been listening to the radio for the past two hours, calling joel again and again and again praying for him to fucking pick up but to no avail. 
Sarah, bless your little girl’s bleeding heart is the one who insists you check on the adler’s against your better suspicions and when you find the eldest looming over her daughter, blood and sinew dripping from her mouth, you grab your daughter hand and burst into a full sprint until something slams into your back and sends you tumbling onto their front lawn
its how joel finds you, struggling to keep the once sweet old woman, whose now nothing more than dead eyes and gnashing teeth straining to snap at your pulse point as you push against her while sarah shrieks before your husband runs forward and cracks her skull with a wrench. 
there’s hardly a moment of pause, just enough for him to pull you up and into his arms before he’s ushering you both into the car with an urgency. 
when the truck crashes, you get separated from them. Perhaps at Tommy’s side when the flames rise and create a wall, separating you from your husband, or maybe pulled into the mob of chaos when trying to escape from those already infected-
all joel knows is that you promise you’ll find him: just get sarah to safety and you’ll meet him at the river
Poor thing is already so frightened, held in her father’s arms with tears streaming down her face insisting they can’t leave you they just can’t but her father kisses her forehead and reassures her its going to be okay 
“we just need to be brave, okay babygirl? Your mama’s real tough, she’s gonna be alright.” 
he isn’t sure if he’s saying it to his daughter or himself. 
but when he comes to the river you aren’t there. Only a soldier who points a gun at the scared little girl in his arms and then he loses everything
its when the light is gone from his daughter’s eyes that he realizes. His voice cracked and raw from sobbing that he looks around to see his brother with drawn in shoulders and tears in his eyes but his wife is nowhere to be found. 
Tommy says you got lost in the chaos. Everything was so loud, so sudden that he turned around and suddenly you weren’t there. 
Joel wants to go back but its Tommy that stops him, that dulls the red in his vision to a sad faded pink because his brother points at the orange horizon not too far from them, so much of the city is already in flames. 
“We’re gonna find her, but not there.” 
So Joel searches. for the first year spent in the world post-outbreak its all he did. 
He became a smuggler because of it. 
Information came at a price and he needed to be able to fucking pay it, whether it be in blood or ration cards. He was willing to do anything to find you or any thin thread that lead your way. 
But it’s Tommy that asks him to give up. Not in those words of course. 
The youngest Miller knows better than to say something so cruel that would make his brother, the only person he has in this world turn on him. 
But his voice is worried when he asks him one night in Boston when he hasn’t even had the chance to wash the blood from his knuckles 
“You think she would have wanted this for you?” 
the fight that followed his words was brutal. Vicious insults and scarred fists slamming against each brother until they're both too tired and bloody to continue. Each leaning against a wall for support and Tommy’s wavering voice breaking the silence. 
“I don’t know where she is, Joel. But I do know you're gonna get yourself killed if you keep lookin’ for her.” 
All he can do is nod. 
It’s a few days later when he meets Tess. Who has heard plenty of stories about the elder miller’s brutality and wants him to put that muscle to good use for some extra profit. 
It begins his new life. One that empty and cold but one he can live. 
Until of course, Ellie comes along. The sweet and incredibly opinionated girl that makes him become something akin to the man he thought died twenty years ago. 
its when he’s traveling with Ellie, that it happens. When a warm familiarity has settled between the two because so much blood and pain has been shared he can’t help but see her as something close, something bright even though all he can force himself to utter in her reference is “cargo” 
when theyre traveling through the woods as Ellie chatters away, probing his memory about a movie that may or may not have existed thirty years ago because her descriptions of the plot are incredibly odd he hears a voice shout for them to stop and finds himself staring at a man- no, a boy- pointing a gun at them. 
Ellie stills, but Joel can see enough to know that from the lanky figure and dimpled face that he’s young. Maybe twenty, twenty-two at the oldest, but his eyes dart from Joel to Ellie with a pinprick of fear that allows Joel the time to charge forward and slam him to the ground before wrestling the gun from his hands. 
He has enough to time to tuck it under the stranger’s chin before he hears the sound of the safety being turned off and finds himself looking up and seeing a gun just inches from his face. 
Joel’s head whips around when Ellie’s voice calls out his name in fear, he turns to see another stranger holding her a gun point, shoulders drawn back and a shadow cast over their face by the had obstructing their identity. 
“You hurt one of mine, I hurt one of yours. That a fair deal?” 
Its takes him a moment to recognize you. It’s been so long since he’s heard your voice, the sweet tease when you would poke at him each time he woke up late despite the fact that you reminded him to set his alarm the night before, the times you’d chide him with a harsh “Joel Miller!” whispered in public anytime he was able to grab you a bit too passionately to be appropriate in public but the laughter in your voice let him know you were never truly mad at him. You didn’t know how to be. 
But that sweetness is buried under a cold rasp that cuts through the air as you point a rifle at the scared little girl in front of you.
“You think I won’t?” You’re older now, skin covered in scars from a life he didn’t know you got the chance to live and your eyes are cold as they regard your husband. “Put the gun down and get the fuck off of him, I won’t repeat myself.” 
Joel mumbles your name in awe. The woman he loved, the woman he mourned the one he fought so hard to find stands before him like some sort of hallucination and suddenly the world feels like its spinning until you bark orders at him again. 
“You’ve got five seconds Joel, make a fucking choice before I make it for you.” 
He looks down and realizes the boy under him, the one with the bleeding nose and snarling face has your eyes and his dimples. 
“One.” 
The one above him has Sarah’s hair. Soft brown curls that shine under the sun. 
“Two”
Wait. No, they both do.
“Three.” 
Twins. Jesus fucking Christ you had twins. 
“Four.” 
Joel holds the rifle up above his head and the one boy standing snatches it from his grasp, tossing it to the ground and kicking it far from his reach. He slowly stands, allowing your son- dear god your son- to scramble to his feet. 
Your voice softens just for a moment. “You okay, Duke?” 
Blood stains the bottom half of his face from where Joel slammed his fist into the boy’s nose just moments before, but he nods nonetheless. 
Now, they both stand on one side of you and he can see the resemblance clear as day the same way he would whenever Sarah was by your side.
When you order him to hand over his bag, he does so without question before telling Ellie to do the same. 
She watches him with wide eyes, her hands still up in the air but gaping at her companion as if he had grown a second head. 
“Joel!” “Just do it, alright?”
He doesn’t miss the way you watch their interaction with narrowed eyes until she tosses her bag to you and you slowly lower your gun. 
“Now, you want to tell me what the fuck you think you’re doin’ at my home?” 
#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#i had an idea of something similar for tommy but on outbreak night he uh. abandons you instead of getting separated from you#because. angst :D#people say nice things#this was incredibly generous of you anon thank you so so much!#i may get myself a little starbucks drink this week now because I havent had starbucks since like january 1st lol#joel reeling from taking in all this information and also realizing he suckerpunched HIS OWN KID#id like to apologize for all the grammatical issues with this. this is just a bulletpoint word vomit to get my thoughts on the page before-#-beginning the actual fic. also I have to do a midterm tonight and this is my treat to myself hehe#but yes. joel getting separated from his wife on outbreak night and having to accept that shes probably dead#meanwhile youve lived this entire life without him because you think HES dead ad raising your boys all on your own#which just- further digs into his insecurities about failing in his role as a protector#he couldn't save sarah. he can't save ellie and he couldn't even save you#he thinks about you pregnant and alone. fending for yourself in a world full of infected and raiders and his chest grows tight again#this is all followed by Ellie going >:O 'you KNOW THIS PSYCHO?'and then joel immediately snapping at her to WATCH HER MOUTH#because that kid has no filter and he has to explain that youre his wife#anyways joels wife is a badass mfer who also maybe has a little garden and some chickens that you and your boys take care of <3 yeah .#reunion tag#ill be using that for this specific couple because I dont have a fic title yet but if anybody has suggestions!
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sir-toastington · 7 months ago
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more art from my gf DeathRay (Grumpy Bear is both our favorite)
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She also made her own Care Bear Cousin- Gloomheart Bat! Specifically nocturnal, she's rarely seen by the other cousins with the exception of Brightheart who's also nocturnal.
She stands for the importance of patience, and listening to others without interrupting while they share their feelings.
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mx-myth · 4 months ago
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Okay so I've had some meta thoughts about Laurence's amnesia and how it relates to his relationship with Tharkay sitting in my drafts for like over a year now so I figured I'd finally clean it up and post it. Heads up it's really long.
Laurence finally consciously realises that he loves Tharkay (or is in love with him, whatever nuance you'd like) after "knew him, and knew himself." But at this point he's completely in pieces as a person (more on this next paragraph). Post-amnesia, he's an entirely different man. Pre-Temeraire Laurence is the harshest, strictest version both of and with himself. He follows the rules to the letter, basically takes Temeraire only out of duty in the beginning, and even keeps the promise between him and Edith despite there being no formal arrangement at all. Post-Temeraire but pre-amnesia Laurence has softened. He's putting less emphasis on the rules and more on his morals (see: treason). He has more leeway but still carries that honor/duty/order with himself.
Which is why post-amnesia Laurence is the version of himself that discovers that he loves Tharkay. In the wake of losing his memories and then regaining them he's lost and unmoored. Both of his past selves are so different and therefore so distant. They're both true but it's too jarring for him - especially in his current circumstances, much less the overall war - so Laurence becomes a new person. This is Laurence at his most vulnerable, his most unguarded, who smiles more often now because he doesn't really know that he didn't smile that much before. He has two major tethers to his personhood: Temeraire and Tharkay (I hesitate to say only tethers, simply because Laurence's life isn't that small, but repeatedly these two are the ones who have had the biggest impact on his life, who have kept him going). Obviously he loves Temeraire, he's never going to stop loving Temeraire, he just isn't capable of it, but seeing Temeraire didn't bring back his memories (I can't imagine how Temeraire must have felt, meeting a version of Laurence who had never met him). Laurence loves Temeraire in the most unconditional, selfless way - to be very Greek about it, his philia. But I think when he finally comprehends how Tharkay was the catalyst behind this radical change of his self he dives into his memories again and goes over them in excruciating detail (and he was definitely doing that already, but now he's doing it with a lens exclusively focused on Tharkay). At some point he comes to the realisation that Tharkay loves him, and that he loves him, and that he's been unconsciously shoving it down every time it's surfaced (past-Laurence was saying no homo while actively homo-ing). And with the benefit of being an new version of the same person (and also some hindsight, finally), this Laurence says, I've committed treason. My country sees me as a traitor but they still need me to serve them as a tool. I lost myself once in a war (see: "what are you doing?") that's still being fought. Time is short and there's no guarantee I won't lose my memories again, that I will still be the person I am right now. What do I have to lose?
(And on some level, this Laurence thinks, what can stop me?)
He begins giving to Tharkay what Tharkay always had given to him. His acts of devotions start small (relative to Tharkay's; transporting too many ferals is obviously a little outside of what Laurence can feasibly do). He cares for Tharkay once he wakes ("have you noticed the top of your head appears likely to come off?"), he helps him eat and drink, he massages his hands once they heal, he stays with him through the nightmares that come to haunt him. And he continues doing these little things for Tharkay, hoping that he understands (he's willing to wait, Tharkay waited for him after all, and Laurence doesn't want to push him, especially as he's healing). But I think the act that hits Tharkay like, oh, it's different this time is when Laurence bargains his freedom to Napoleon. I feel like that carries unspeakable meaning for Tharkay, who was ostracized growing up and ended up never having a "permanent" home since he travelled so much. I can't imagine that he hasn't been in a similar situation before, but he's probably always been expected to weasel his way out of it without any outside help. He's trained himself out of expecting someone to help him, to care enough about him to save him. Yet part of the man who turned to treason simply so the dragons of France wouldn't die in pain lives on in this Laurence. Pre-Temeraire Laurence is rules and post-Temeraire pre-amnesia Laurence is morals, but post-amnesia Laurence is all heart. There was never a way he was going to leave Tharkay behind.
So Tharkay starts watching him. He watches Laurence continue to devote himself to him, again and again. He brings him his coat on cold days. When it rains and their scars ache he curls around his hands and rubs lotion into them. When he goes into town he always brings Tharkay back a little gift. He starts growing vegetables in the garden and he learns how to cook non-wartime foods and how to knit (because he is a man forged by war and what does one even do during peacetime when one's dragon is busy reforming the government, anyway?) and suddenly he's providing for Tharkay like never before. He looked away for one moment and suddenly Laurence's prescence and all that he does has made the manor a home.
Yet Tharkay, for years, has told himself so many times that Laurence is off-limits, untouchable, that he can love him but that there's no chance that Laurence will love him back. The only way he can love Laurence is silently, nearly from afar, and so he tried to do that. But he can't just stand by and so every time he finds himself committing a deux ex Tharkay (see: ferals, again). He understands that there's some shit Laurence needs to learn himself (and god is this series very good about character development for Laurence) but he's not going to do nothing when the man in about to die. For him it's about caring and providing for Laurence even if he doesn't know it. He learns to content himself with the knowledge that, even if nothing comes of it, he can still be by Laurence's side.
But then the amnesia plot happens (which he only learns of after all of it goes down) and suddenly there is a half-stranger wearing the skin of the man he loves (loved, he tells himself) looking at him with those familiar blue eyes filled with a completely unfamiliar emotion. He's relieved that Laurence remembers but he's said that his Laurence is gone that he's even thinking of it like that (Tharkay has a lot of anger, both at himself and others and the world). Laurence is right in front of him, he's not gone at all, but he's gone in a way that matters. But also this new Laurence is by his side all the time. He's feeding him and helping him drink and dress and he sleeps on the floor by his bedside. Tharkay is so confused because this has to be some kind of fantasy dream he's having. He must still be in the cave (and it's believable that he is, because he returns there every night in his dreams). But he isn't and he has to struggle to come to terms with this new Laurence.
So every time Laurence does something even remotely nice he hyper-analyses it and rationalizes it to himself. He deludes himself into thinking that this is normal for Laurence now. It's normal for Laurence to fuss and hen over him now; it's normal for him to smile at him with that emotion written plainly on his face that Tharkay still hasn't (refuses) to decipher. And he does this well into post-canon.
For that reason he only gets with the program when Laurence has to leave the manor (leave home) for a long while (probably with Temeraire) and suddenly Tharkay is all alone in this huge manor. He's wearing the socks Laurence knitted for him and eating food Laurence grew and walking into rooms and seeing little parts of him scattered everywhere. There's a novel he's reading left on the table by the chair he prefers in the library. There's a cookbook in the kitchen in which he's bookmarked recipes he thinks he might like. Tharkay finds a handwritten list of things they need to buy in town left out for him. He left his pillows on Tharkay's bed because he knows he likes sleeping with a ton of pillows (and they smell like him, and Tharkay pretends he doesn't bury his face in him, that he doesn't miss him while he's gone). When Tharkay wakes up in the morning he makes two cups of tea and waits for Laurence to come in from talking with Temeraire before remembering that neither of them are here (home). He expects Laurence to appear in the evenings to ask if he wants to go on a walk through the grounds with him (and he always ends up saying yes). Tharkay learns that the manor is too big for one man who has always been a little too lonely in his life.
So until Laurence returns home he plots and plans and agonizes. After a week once Laurence has come home (and the first thing he had said to him was welcome home, and Laurence had beamed at him, and it was so unbelievably natural to say it) Tharkay begins his attempts at reciprocating. He wakes up earlier so that he can brew Laurence tea so he can take it out to sit with Temeraire. He says that he cooked some of the recipes from Laurence's cookbook and insists on making them for Laurence (he had to figure out his system of marking which recipes were Laurence's favourites). He gifts him a sturdy, functional, and beautifully crafted knife to wear around the house for daily use; he specifically makes sure the knife is up to Temeraire's standards. In fact, Tharkay talks to Temeraire about everything, and Temeraire tells him, with no minced words while completely drawing his own conclusions, that it's very nice that Tharkay is asking him for his blessing, but does he really need it at this point? Haven't they been courting long enough? He's always approved of Tharkay, because he makes Laurence happy.
That's how Tharkay realises he and Laurence have been dancing around each other like shy birds, both of them subtly showing off but not making the first move. And maybe he realises that Laurence is thinking how he used to think - that it's okay as long as he can be by his side, that he doesn't need his love reciprocated (it's a very long chain of Tharkay loving Laurence, Laurence knowing Tharkay loves him and loving him back, and Tharkay loving Laurence and knowing he knows he loves him and loves him back). And of course Tharkay wasn't going to make the first move back then, and if Laurence hasn't by now, then maybe he should borrow some of Temeraire's courage.
It's something small. The words come later, given how action-forward both Laurence and Tharkay are. They don't even need words. Maybe Tharkay takes Laurence's hand during dinner and intertwines their fingers, maybe he touches Laurence's cheek after he's braided his hair as their eyes meet in the mirror, maybe as they pack away the port and piquet he kisses him good night. Whatever it is, they look at each other and simply know. Tharkay sees Laurence slowly start to smile, a huge one that spreads across his entire face, one that he's only seen on Laurence when he thinks he's alone with Temeraire. He seems to brighten, almost radiating light.
For his part, Laurence reciprocates. He squeezes Tharkay's hand, he turns his cheek into Tharkay's touch, he pulls him in for another kiss. He watches as something seems to drop from Tharkay, something that he hadn't even known he was carrying. He becomes loose and relaxed, his body language more open as he looks at Laurence with one of his little smiles, a bit of shyness that he's never seen before evident on his face. He tells Tharkay that he's the most beautiful person he's ever seen.
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silentassassin21 · 1 year ago
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no y'all don't understand how much i fucking adore taryon darrington, like maybe nobody loves him as much as me. he just loves vox machina so fucking much even when he's a little bit of a dick about it. like the way that from the start he thinks keyleth is so cool and capable and powerful and obviously that's kind of a joke from sam because keyleth is a bit of a mess (affectionate) but also it's so sweet when tary sees keyleth like jump off a boat and he decides that if their fearless leader is doing it then of course he must too. and the deep, genuine love he has for doty as his first and, for a long time, only friend and how hurt he is when he dies and, even though he can rebuild him, it wouldn't be the same. and while it's always funny when tary brings up his father because sam is funny, it's also so goddamn heartbreaking how scared tary is to go home and feel like he's failed his father again. and the scene where tary tells the group about lawrence and that he couldn't possibly have a future with him because all the adventurers in stories go home to beautiful maidens not older men is just so fucking real and while it's a little funny (because once again: sam), the way the group fucking melts and assures him that none of that is true and comforts him. not to mention his friendship with vex and how much they come to love and respect each other even when tary is being such a little shit. and the way that he immediately finds a kinship in percy and clearly considers him his friend so quickly even when percy is being standoffish and falls a little in love with him even while knowing he won't do anything about it because he loves vex and percy too much. and just the development of his relationship with the whole group who he never really understands are hesitant around him at first because of how much they have their own personal shit that has nothing to do with him but they end up opening up to him and loving him so dearly. shit this ended up being a lot of rambling about tary, i just love him so much, he's one of my favourite cr characters and i never see enough love for him. when i bought a bunch of keychains from an artist at avcon and the first one i asked for was the tary they looked so surprised and happy and said "nobody ever gets taryon" and i just. guys. he means so much to me and i'm not at the end of him being with vox machina but i'm getting close and as much as i love scanlan i'm going to be so sad when he leaves <3
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foreverxdaydreaming · 1 month ago
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#just needed to vent for a sec but oh god am i tired of people#'friends' both irl and online got me fucked up lately#mental healths been in the shitter almost nonstop this year#familys always got me up the wall#i just feel like I'm constantly treading water and i am *tired*. like so fucking TIRED#it's never enough; it's too much; no not like that; but not that either; it's all wrong wRoNg WrOnG#ik im sleep deprived and possibly pms-y and that is most certainly not helping things rn but...#gods i see less and less of a reason to get out of bed and bother with anything ever again#wtf is the purpose#i can't keep friends to save my life bc im apparently a fuckin doormat and interesting as unflavored rice or smth#how hard is it to feel like you maybe sorta kinda matter and aren't an unlovable worthless piece of shit#years of therapy; trying meds; everything under the sun.... and nothing. lows and highs and dips of every kind and yet ..nothing#and maybe im just very much in my feelings rn and just yelling into the void.. but it hurts and im tired of pretending it doesn't.#i hate how hard it is to make friends as an adult especially irl. and how gossipy and cliquey and gross and mean ppl can be#of getting called childish and naive and boring for wanting to be a decent person and having interests outside of partying#(not attacking those traits but tired of getting attacked for *not* being 'fun' enough or 'social' enuf or 'sensitive' for having feelings)#enough*#i just want to go eat drywall and stand in the rain and let it help me pretend im not crying blood rn.#like every cell in my body isn't trying to spontaneously combust.#'it gets better' ..yeah? when. when i was 14? when i was 23? when im 37? when im 55? 82? WHEN.. bc im so sick and tired#and no this isn't me writing a final note or whatever it sounds like; i just wanted to word vomit bc ive never been good w sadness#and ive got such an overwhelming amount of it rn i can't even turn it into anger & spite & use that for productivity... i just want to rot#to lie down and be covered by plants as i sleep and just slowly fade into a cloud or smth like it's a ghibli movie or wtv.#im like shaking from how stupidly emotional i feel rn. the lack of empathy these days is fuckin astounding#common sense & empathy are lacking in absolutely droves these days. some days i hate the internet & tech for its irreparable damages sm#but here we are and here it shall remain. long after us; and *long* after us ..... *sigh*#anyway ima go try to take a nap or smth. I'll see ya when i see ya. take care my lovelies#if u read all this i prob owe you a cookie lol
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lee-hakhyun · 1 year ago
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from an outside perspective it’s really feeling like they’re emphasising kim dokja’s status as an eldritch god. like,,, you don’t feel it through orv because kim dokja himself has just enough knowledge from reading twsa to navigate, and on his own you can really tell how human he actually is, but. take things from a distanced perspective, and suddenly. suddenly, it’s azathoth and the outer gods of lovecraftian lore, played completely straight. i’ve heard enough people compare azathoth and kdj that i think i can say this much
you wanna know something i’ve thought about a lot regarding kdj and the oldest dream? about yjh becoming a terrorist, and how kimcom willingly went back into the fray, how they returned to the previous timeline - and how some people couldn’t comprehend their choices at first? it makes me think of that old trope of ‘going mad from the revelation’, how some people say that gazing upon this otherworldly being’s true form or ‘learning the truth of the world’ would surely make someone go mad.
go mad with what, though? insanity? or grief? because so, so often, one’s pain is incomprehensible to outsiders, and fail to understand how or why you lash out or break down. it’s a depressing pattern in real life, too. kdj goes mad with grief and self-hatred, learning the truth; kimcom take on the insane route of going through the apocalypse again just to reach the end; yjh is unable to heal, to cope with a world without the scenarios and without his companion to bear through it, and so he fights over the replica of the arc. from an outsider’s perspective, without the understanding that the people involved are all brokenhearted over truths only they know, it might come off as insanity. but it’s all just grief.
with that said, however, to have someone jung heewon KNEW, cruel as he was, replaced by someone from a world beyond - and to start singing the praise of someone else’s name? to say ‘i need to find them?’ how all of them look to one name that outsiders simply DO NOT KNOW, to hail this unknown person as important, as an idol, as… as a god…
the 41st turn before their version of shin yoosung travelled to the other worldlines is a forgotten story, and by orv logic forgotten stories are outer gods. in lovecraftian lore, the outer gods sought to wake the blind idiot god azathoth, who in orv is represented by kdj dreaming for ‘eternity’. also, the Outer Gods of orv (the one actually being called as such right now) see the side story - which is the ‘forgotten’ 41st turn, now being written in where once it was not - as their chance to finally be written on the wall. so it’s. it’s. this is just singshong taking their lovecraftian elements to their logical extreme
interestingly, however, kdj isn’t the only reader anymore, is he? orv places a lot of emphasis on communication and writing on the wall, but in the side story it could perhaps be interpreted as ‘trying to be read by one person in particular’. and then the readers that die are labelled as ‘kdj33’ or ‘kdj47’, reducing them to being ‘just a part’, but… they’re all different people. they’re all people who took in kdj’s story, thus his story becomes a part of their own - but only a part. i’ve said that before, but.
well, you can’t force your own narrative on to someone else.
han sooyoung tried that, actually, didn’t she? tried to get kdj back through ending the story early only to realize the hurt she was causing and backing off. you can’t always reach people in the way you want. that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t stop trying, but there’s also a point where you need to recede, to compromise. am i making sense? i have no idea where singnshong is taking this story, but i’m looking at hsy with lee hakhyun and ceokdj with the readers turned kdj fragments and the outer gods wanting their story written on the wall and. i feel like i’m starting to see a pattern. i could also be hallucinating, but i could also not be. i offer this for your consideration
okay i put this aside for a bit but yes. oh my god. eldritch kdj.. i had not heard about this before, but that's so interesting thinking about it through that lens. and in the side story, hsy forcing the memories of orv on jhw to try to break her.. the explict mentioning of han sooyoung being seen as a 'god' in that moment...
--
fun fact, if you don't remember! lovecraftian horrors are also mentioned as outer gods in orv
chapter 179. when talking with the devourer of dreams, kdj mentioned these modifiers
the fear of sarnath - bokrug
horror from the hills - chaugnar faugn
master of r'lyeh - cthulhu
--
now, adding my own thoughts - the pattern is identity. stories.
there's something wrong with everything in this turn.
the kkomas were cute. until it was revealed that they were dead readers. though.. is that not also kind of what the yoo joonghyuk kkomas are? they may have all been yoo joonghyuk, but their lives in that turn were their own. <- however. the difference here is that while the yjh kkomas were all 'yoo joonghyuk' these kdj kkomas were NOT. they all had their own lives before being brought to wos, and upon being killed and placed in the theater.. they lost themselves.. which is terrifying to think about. you die, and you're brought back to watch your companions go on without you, but you're not yourself anymore. you're kim dokja, who wants to continue watching the stories on the screen.
the transmigrated readers. until the latest chapters, we hadn't been shown the real effect of the readers possessing characters in this world (honestly, we were led to believe that most people transmigrated into 'extras' without their own story. but that's not true, is it?). cheon inho has no one close to him as far as we know (lol), but that's not the same for others. what about the people who knew the possessed characters? lee hakhyun realizes this in the latest chapter, that maybe him and the readers coming here were an additional disaster for the people that lived here.
lee hakhyun's problems,, he's constantly going back and forth on 'lee hakhyun' and 'cheon inho', and there's clearly something wrong with the way he sees himself... we know more about him that he does currently, and if he does find out. i don't think things are going to end well.
and of course. everything about kim dokja. his name is in everyone's minds, the readers are desperate for a source of hope and he has become that to them. kim dokja is being idolized. even before the scenarios, there were those using kim dokja's story in the same way he used yjh. it's not framed as a negative, if that's what you need to do survive, then you should always do what you can to survive, no matter what. but even when you borrow stories, you need to stay yourself. you are your own person.
there's a clear connection with all of these, and it's identity. who someone is, the way they're seen, their stories. what makes you yourself? stories make up who you are, and these outer gods want their own stories written down on the wall to define themselves. rep kdj wanting the readers to forge a new story, lee hakhyun discovering stories that were never told in orv.
right now, nobody's happy. time is running out for the outer gods, the readers have unwittingly destroyed others by taking over these 'extras', kimcom are still desperately searching for their star, our dear protagonist is continuing to doubt himself. and kim dokja is still watching.
...this is orv. not everyone will get their happy ending. their goals oppose each other. we can hope for the best, but that isn't going to happen.
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how’s your fic going for the event? You said you haven’t written for it? Have you made progress?
I also remember you saying you’ve sent in asks to the board too about it right?
.
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thegetdownrebooter · 1 year ago
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i think all the roy siblings are bi, and especially roman seeing as his love for gerri is so evident and stated. and important to his character. to dismiss that is to just stereotype him
that's cool anon, you are free to think what you want about a fictional character like, my opinion isn't gospel lol.
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ceilidho · 5 months ago
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sirius c
prompt: forced throuple au; Ghost decides that you and Johnny are his (part 7; ghoap x reader) [tags: noncon, implied cheating (in the context of Ghost's refusal to be a negotiation king lol), very nsfw] masterlist
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No one tells you what to do when you finally notice the larger animal watching you from the thicket. 
It's been awhile now, you suspect. So long that it's managed to follow you all the way home.
Now they insist on helping you around the shop while you try to work. Try being the operative word. It’s hard to get much done with Simon scaring off all the customers and Johnny dogging at your heels, practically glued to your hip. You briefly consider stabbing him with the snips but then think the better of it. Simon’s stare follows you too closely for you to think you’d get away with it. 
Plus, after this morning—you cut that thought off at the root lest embarrassment make your eyeballs burn right out of your head. Despite the fact that he never brings it up, you can’t shake the thought that Simon knows. His face is just as expressionless with the mask off, which rests like a heavy weight on the kitchen table, imbued with a meaning too potent, too loaded, for you to fully digest or, really, understand in any concrete way. 
But the glint in his flinty eyes flirts with amusement. Brushes close to it. 
“What?” you snap, eggs dangling precariously from your fork.
His stare hasn’t wavered once since sitting you across from him. He doesn’t smirk nor snicker, but you can feel the laugh like a phantom limb that aches until you try to scratch it. He has a face carved from marble or granite, subject to some horrific fate. A statue pulled down from its pedestal and hauled into the river, now dragged out waterlogged and barnacle-crusted. Something terrible happened here and now something else wears its face.
His knees knock against yours under the table again, forcing one leg to spread to accommodate him. You stare at the elbow resting on your table as he chews off the end of a strip of bacon.
He doesn’t say anything, but you know he must have heard you and Johnny in the washroom earlier in the morning. Simon hadn’t even attempted to feign sleep when you’d come out flustered and turned around, stomach in knots. 
You can’t even look at Johnny for help because he stands behind the two of you at the counter, no space for him at your small kitchen table. Your life isn’t built to accommodate two men of their size; it’s hardly able to hold space for just the one.
Nevertheless, they stretch it to fit their needs.
Begrudgingly, you have to admit that Simon does help you out around the flower shop. He fixes the door to the supply closet that always jams, hoses down the sidewalk in front of the store where someone vomited near the entryway the night before, and even gives you a couple hours alone to yourself when he drags Johnny with him to do the bouquet deliveries. 
They come back with coffee in takeaway cups and pastries in a waxy bag and you nearly moan when you notice the label on the cup. Coffee from the good coffee shop across town. You actually moan when you sink your teeth into an almond croissant and then blink your eyes open wide when you hear Johnny groan in response. 
You steel yourself to keep your knees from knocking together.
It’s been a week since you saw him last. Hard to believe. You’ve been distant, rightfully so, contemplating the state of your relationship and coaxing yourself to the brink of texting him that it’s over, only to give up at the last possible minute. The tides receding again. 
You don’t think about how much you missed him. 
Since this morning, you’ve been on edge. Half tempted to corral Johnny into your apartment upstairs for some alone time. You don’t think Simon would allow that though, whether out of some sadistic glee in seeing you squirm or out of jealousy. It doesn’t seem unlikely. He acts like Johnny is his to do with what he pleases, and Johnny beams up at him like the sun and lets him.
You hadn’t realized there had been a third person in your relationship. Now it feels like his presence has always been felt. You can’t imagine Johnny without the half-shadow cast over his face.
All day, you wait for Johnny to break. Part of you hopes that it’ll be sooner rather than later. Unless he’s been entertaining someone on the side—and, for reasons unbeknownst to you, you discount that thought the second it comes to you, sure that you’d know if there was another woman—it’s likely that he hasn’t fucked in a week. He acts like it too, hovering close enough that you can feel the heat radiating off his body. Every accidental step back comes with a chance of landing straight into his arms. 
When you touch his arm gently to ask him to help you move a heavy flower pot, he looks down at you with irises gone black, ready to fuck on a dime. It’s not the right place or time, and you’re still tremendously pissed at him for letting his superior grope you in front of their whole platoon or whatever, but you’ve also gone a week without his dick, and you’re starting to think that your pride shouldn’t get in the way of good dick.
But then he looks over at the hulking figure haunting the doorway and draws back. The shadow on your relationship again. The tension breaks. Even though he postures and flexes when he helps you move the flower pot, it doesn’t come with an invitation to sneak away to your apartment upstairs. Johnny grits his teeth and holds himself back because Simon tells him to; because, in Simon’s own words, he’s a good lad. 
“What’s that supposed to mean?” you ask Simon when Johnny goes to take a leak, but he just stares at you with eyes still darkened by poorly wiped off eye black. 
The oxygen is sucked out of the room when it’s just the two of you. He’s imposing from afar, accentuated by the innate knowledge—gleaned just from looking at him, nothing more than that, just the size of him in his line of work—that he’s the most dangerous thing around, but with no one else to hide behind, you can’t help but feel like a trapped animal. 
“Means he knows who’s in charge,” he says. 
Like that’s supposed to tell you anything. 
The air still crackles with tension when Johnny comes back. He glances around almost nervously, pupils dilating. 
“The two of ye finally gettin’ on?” he asks.
There’s a moment where you consider ripping the veil down and saying, no, we aren’t, Johnny. You quisling. You can see exactly how uncomfortable I am. It’s more than visible; it’s oozing from my pores. You’ve let a wild animal into my house and now it won’t leave. In fact, it’s pissing on my sheets to mark its territory. You let it in knowingly, and even though you know something’s wrong, you’re letting it get worse.
Simon’s smile is severe and whetted when he cuts off your train of thought. “Reckon we're getting on like a house on fire, eh?” 
You can’t muster more than a weak smile and nod in response to that.
Around mid afternoon, a regular client calls in with a large, last minute order. You accept it because it’s nothing you don’t already have in stock, but it means you have to close the shop early to work on her order and then load up the van to drive to her place to drop the flowers off.
“I’ll come with you,” Simon grunts when you flip the sign and tell the two of them about your plans.
You freeze, a shudder rippling down your spine. “That’s not necessary—I can do it myself.”
“Don’t care.”
“I do it all the time when you’re not here!”
“It’s not up for debate,” he says, eyes going hard. Daring you to argue.
You’ve been getting the sense all day that he’s been trying to corner you, trying to get you on your own. You evade his efforts like a prey animal, but all that does is make him work harder for it. 
You look to Johnny for any kind of reassurance, someone to back you up and agree that you’re more than capable since you do this all the time, but he just grins from behind the counter where he helps cut lengths of cellophane and ribbon for the bouquets. “Aye, hen, let him help. Ye cannae carry all of that yourself.”
Your brain clicks back on when you’re barrelling towards your client’s place at breakneck speed, far too fast for a residential road. It’s not you driving though. Simon has himself parked in the driver’s seat, one hand on the wheel and the other dangling loosely out the window. His driving makes your stomach churn, nausea brewing. You bone-knuckle the grab handle reflexively. 
“Could you slow down?” you hiss out through clenched teeth.
Simon ignores you until you start to scroll through your phone to distract yourself. He transfers the hand on the wheel to jostle your knee with his free hand. “Eyes on the road.”
“I’m not even driving you,” you squawk, heart thudding in your chest when his hand doesn’t lift off your knee. 
“Tell me when to turn, doll.” The pet name makes your stomach jump. When he says it, his hand tightens over your knee, thick fingers with scraped up knuckles curling around, the width of his palm wider than your kneecap and you stare down dumbly, rabbit heart careening at the same speed as the van. 
You’re so dumbfounded that you nearly miss the street. He takes the turn suddenly when you mention it instead of making the sensible call to go up the next street and then come back down, and you swear and yell when he nearly takes the van onto the right two wheels. 
The sweat is still dripping down the nape of your neck when he parks in front of the client’s venue.
Simon ignores any attempt of yours to help unload the van. All you can do is watch helplessly as he carries multiple arrangements into the venue at once, leaving you to handle the contract and payment collection. The situation is spiraling rapidly out of your control. 
Your client, a housewife about a decade or so older than you, eyes him as he passes with two flower pots tucked under his arms. 
“I didn’t know you changed staff,” she murmurs, eyes following him into the next room and lingering on the backs of his thighs when he bends down to deposit the flower pots, making the material of his pants strain tight around his glutes and hamstrings. 
“I didn’t,” you protest, shaking your head. “That’s—he’s my boyfriend’s coworker. Um, his boss, I mean. I think. He’s just helping out for the day.”
“Well, I know how I’d like him to help out,” someone else giggles. One of the venue staff, judging by her uniform. Even your client titters at that.
Simon’s more approachable with the mask off, it seems. Still verging on the preternatural, but at least without the mask he seems more human. All six-foot-five-inches of him, arms and legs packed with a generous helping of muscle and fat; a square jaw must be appealing to any sex-parched person within range. It makes your jaw clench.
“Here’s your receipt,” you grit out before ripping it off the payment terminal and handing it to her. She blinks at your dour mood, unused to a less than professional version of you, but that’s what Simon’s presence does to you. Sours you right up. A lemon squeezed right into the mouth.
He’s posted by the van when you come out still scowling and itching for a row. He frowns at the look on your face. “Fix your attitude. You’ve already upset Johnny enough.”
You halt in your tracks, dumbstruck. “I’ve upset Johnny?”
“Yeah. So fix it before we get back.”
You’ve officially reached your limit. All day, you’ve been waiting to go nuclear, bad mood settling deeper and deeper into you because you’ve never been good at managing your anger. The audacity to blame you for this whole situation nearly makes you lose your head. 
Simon looks almost bored when you stomp up to him and stab a finger into his chest. You pointedly do not let yourself focus on how little his chest gives beneath your finger. “All of this was your fault for sexually harassing me in the first place. I don’t even think you were ever sorry for that—this all just feels like some fucked up attempt to break me and Johnny up.”
He stares down at you. “You think I want Johnny for myself?”
Heat flares under your collar, but you push on. “I do. And you know what? You can have him. I don’t need this. Johnny clearly values your approval more than mine anyway or none of this ever would have happened once he caught you groping me in broad daylight. If you want him so bad, nothing I do is going to work, so why even bother? He’s yours. The both of you can fuck off when we get back—I’m sick of having you in my space.”
The tirade leaves you panting by the end of it, and then you look into his eyes. 
You wonder if it’s a universal phenomenon to sense the moment when you’ve made a grave miscalculation. It must be. The feeling is overwhelming; for you, it throbs in your very bones. 
Simon’s expression never changes, but the light behind his eyes starts to flicker in a different way, and you are suddenly conscious of him not just as a man but as a man paid to kill. A professional at that. At least a dozen bodies under his belt and likely more, and yet you stand chest to chest with him like you’re somehow tougher than that; like all those bodies mean nothing, like his knife hasn’t quenched its bloodthirst ad infinitum, like his arms haven’t felt a neck crack until it’s become a habit, an easy kill, a morning fix. 
You’ve never felt more like meat than under his gaze. 
“Get your ass in the van,” he commands, and you listen because your mouth has gone dry and you understand now, somewhere deep in your reptile brain, a little creature hissing at you to turn and run, that he doesn’t warn. He just does. 
Humiliation festers under your skin when he buckles you in. Your mouth opens on a smart remark until you catch a glimpse of him from the corner of your eye and it’s all anger leaking tar, mafic lava dark and flowing, smooth and lobed and striated with hellfire. 
You think at first that he’s just going to drive you home. Your words might have offended him, but the lack of refutation makes you think that at his core, he must agree. Simon is just another man with an unholy allegiance to ego, an ugly incarnation of desire and pride that you might have briefly mistook as a person as complex as yourself until he snuffed that inkling right out with a hand on your ass. 
Then, lost in your thoughts, you miss when he pulls over and puts the van in park. 
You hear the click of your seatbelt, but your head doesn’t have time to turn before Simon hauls you over the center console and into his lap, a hand already clamping over your mouth to muffle your scream. 
“I’ve had enough of the fuckin’ attitude, girl,” Simon snarls into your ear, shoving his hand down the front of your pants without any preamble, the stretchy jogger fabric not putting up any resistance. “I haven’t got the patience for it. We’ll sort you out and knock these stupid notions from your skull.”
You must shriek under his palm because his fingers tighten, digits pressed into your jaw to the point of aching. It’s hard to tell under the white hot fear that washes over you, nearly blinding you. 
If it bothers him to find you dry under your panties, he doesn’t say anything. Calloused fingers spread your labia wide and trace over your clit lazily, trying to coax the slick out of you. You squirm in his hold, desperate to somehow wriggle out, but Simon chooses now to give you a glimpse of his strength, holding you tight to his chest. No matter how much you squirm, there’s no way out of his hold. Shouting behind his palm doesn’t help either; Simon just curls his hand tighter over your mouth. 
Horror blooms in your chest when your core starts to warm up at his touch. The first traitorous bead of wetness nearly has you apoplectic with rage. His fingers saw up and down over your slit until he thinks you’re wet enough to handle two fingers shoved knuckle deep. 
“Enough of that,” Simon grunts when you yelp and knee the underside of the steering wheel in your haste to get away. “It’s just two. You’ve been fucked before; you can take it.”
Your knee aches from slamming into the steering wheel, but it’s nothing compared to the ache of his fingers stretching you open, the skin around his knuckles delicate and febrile. For all his flaws, Johnny loves getting his mouth on your pussy before trying to cram his cock in, addicted to the taste of you on his tongue when he’s got you folded in half and taking his dick like a champ. Simon seems like he wouldn’t mind railing you in the back of the van without any prep whatsoever. 
“Can’t wait to break you on my cock,” he growls, his breath hot over your neck, and lust stinking up the van so bad that the air is nearly rancid with it. Sulfuric. “You think you’ve had it rough with Johnny? You don’t have a fuckin’ clue what you’re in for with me.”
His hunger is a noxious, billowing cloud. Miasma like. It threatens to smother you. His shaft is hard under your ass, evident when he thrusts his hips up. Your ensuing yip makes him grunt, gratified, like his pleasure comes part from your shock. 
“I’m not explaining this shit anymore. This is the way it’s gonna be from now on—no discussion, no arguing, no nothing. It’s not up for negotiation.”
Simon’s fingers piston into you without remorse, brutal hunger foisted off on your body. You again try desperately to push away from him, almost levitating out of his arms until he forces you back down and bites down hard over your clothed shoulder. The horn stays silent when you try to honk it, mocking you somehow. You wonder if anyone would hear your muffled cries from beneath Simon’s hand if they happened to pass by, or if they’d chance a glance into the van and see the devil himself playing with your pussy in his lap and keep on walking. 
Your body plays you for a fool though, sweltering under his touch. When he growls in your ear, your pussy clenches up nice and tight, and slick drips down your inner thighs. 
A third finger nearly makes you choke on your gasp. You go quiet after that save for the occasional whimper, all of your energy concentrated on accommodating his fingers, each as wide as almost two of yours. A fourth almost doesn’t feel fathomable, but then he sinks it into you and every thought leaks out of your head.
“Christ, you’re a dream when you shut your mouth, aren’t you, doll?” Simon breathes, nosing the corner of your jaw. “Johnny picked a nice little cunt for himself.” 
He doesn’t pick up on the irony somehow. Even shaking in his lap, your brows furrow at his words, a barb on the tip of your tongue until a glob of slick leaks from you and wrenches you back out of your head. 
He clicks his tongue against his teeth all condescendingly when your breathing goes hitched and panicked, so close to coming that you feel a hairsbreadth from it. When you jump at the sound of his tongue snapping in your ear, he chuckles, the broad chest at your back shaking with his laughter.
“There we go,” Simon murmurs, rubbing a soothing hand over your belly. “Tired, eh? Just need to come and have a nap. I know Johnny left you hanging this morning. Poor girl.”
You hadn’t even noticed that he’d dropped his hand from your mouth to your stomach, but there’s nothing to do about it now. All you can do is lean back against him and stare at the fine, blond hair on his knuckles as he drags it over your belly button in slow, languid strokes. 
“Oh god—” you groan when he thumbs your pearled clit and sinks his fingers in as deep as they’ll go, your hole stretched too tight. 
Sweat beads on your hairline. It feels like tears might be leaking down your cheeks, but it’s hard to say. The only thing you can do is focus on not coming apart at the seams.
The air in the van is moistened by your breath, the windows almost completely fogged up. Your lower back aches from arching into his hand. When it comes out in a sob, he tells you he’ll have Johnny massage it when the two of you get home. 
“It’s always gonna hurt a little with me,” Simon says, and you almost mistake it for apologetic until he pulls you into an open-mouthed kiss that makes you twist your neck and ignores the way you whimper into his mouth.  
You nearly black out when he finally makes you come, your head tipping back and resting on his shoulder. You tense in his grasp and open your mouth on a soundless moan when your walls spasm around his fingers. Nothing you can do but let it happen. Like splintering down the middle. It hits you so hard that your belly cramps. 
Shame hits you so much harder. A half second after, like the sky splitting open and a voice thundering down, you know what you did. 
Your leg gives a feeble twitch when he pulls his fingers out, his palm soaked with your juices. You’re a limp mess of sour sweat and come in his lap, reeking of sex musk and a warm, spicy scent. 
You squeal and jolt back to awareness when he pushes a finger back in, sensitive to the point of pain. “Simon, I can’t—”
“Hold still; m’not done yet,” he cuts you off, irritation layered in his voice again. 
You don’t have to endure it for as long this time at least; he paws at your overworked sex and pants in your ear like a bear. Luxuriating in the soft, wet folds of your pussy. His touch isn’t clumsy, but it feels like he’s making up for lost time. It almost makes you wonder how long he’s wanting to get between your legs, but that thought evaporates when he reaches further down to press his fingers against the rim of your other hole, chuckling into your hair when you clench up. 
Then, after a few minutes, he pulls his hand out of your joggers and pats your belly with his wet fingers, leaving dewy strands of your juices on your skin before helping you back into the passenger seat. You don’t even have it in you to protest when he buckles you in again. You even accept it when he leans over to plant another wet kiss on your mouth, one with too much tongue and too much teeth, come drunk and aching for any kind of affection. 
“Sweet as pie, eh?” Simon rasps, eyes half-lidded and heady. Almost lovesick. “Couldn’t have asked for better.”
You stare at the side of his head as he drives the two of you back to the shop, eyes glued to his cauliflower ear. Rough son of a bitch. Brute strength hewn into his bones, covetous need in his veins.
And this is what your boyfriend thought was appropriate to bring home. 
He stops one more time to feed his cock down your throat before you make it home. Your tongue curls around the mushroomed head of dick when he drags your head down, the wiry hair at his crotch tickling your nose. The scent of him here is pungent, musky. Old lichenous rocks and rust like blood on your tongue. You’re so pliable that you hardly even gag when it touches the back of your throat. 
His come is still hot and tacky on your tongue when he pulls you into his lap to let you cry it out, wiping up your tears with a rough thumb. It’s a while before you manage to settle down again. 
Johnny’s still beaming behind the counter when you come in, Simon at your rear to keep you from running, his hand planted firmly at the small of your back. You can barely look your boyfriend in the eye. You’re afraid he’ll see it plain as day on your face, hair mused and lips swollen from sucking his lieutenant off in the van on the drive home. 
“The two of ye have a good time all by yourselves?” he asks, either deliberately ignoring the obvious or naively trusting. You don’t know which would be worse.
You can hear the dry grin in Simon’s voice. “We had a nice chat, didn’t we, doll?”
All you can muster is a weak smile and croak, “Yep. We did.”
You hold off a flinch when Simon’s hand slips down and grabs a handful of your ass.
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saltylemontears · 1 month ago
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.jpg || ln4
summary: lando.jpg has posted...some interesting stuff warnings: none, just lots of fluff a/n: had to take a break from my george fic because i accidentally made it sad lol, this is very short, just a word vomit tbh
fuel my creativity here!
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click!
the first time, lando doesn't notice. he's way too focused on his engineers explaining the race strategy to hear the camera shutter. you squint a little, trying to get the perfect angle.
you were not a photographer. far from that, actually. the camera feels a bit too heavy and unnatural in your hands and you need to do multiple takes every time, because it just doesn't look right. but god, it is fun. you can see why lando enjoys it.
click!
lando's sitting in his car already, sharing some thoughts with an engineer before the race, helmet already on, gaze focused, burning with that passionate look you fell in love with.
you crouch behind a mechanic and quickly snap a few pictures, fiddling with the focus of the camera until it centers on lando's eyes, capturing his look in detail.
you hide the camera when he looks at you for the last time before going on the track and smile to yourself when he waves at you.
click!
your arms begin to hurt after a few minutes of standing beside the track with the camera. this being your fourth attempt at taking a cool shot of lando's mclaren speeding past you, you start becoming slightly impatient.
the car goes into frame and you press the button like crazy, trying to get at least one decent photo in that speed, trying to capture the incredible atmosphere of the singapore gp.
and, fourth time really is the charm, because it comes out perfect.
click!
tears stream down your cheeks and you can't see anything, let alone the camera, so you blindly press the button, not even focusing on centering the shot.
lando's standing on the podium, in first place, and you've seen this before, but you'll never get tired of the sight of him on the top step, seeing the passion and happiness in his eyes as he holds up the trophy.
when he looks down at you, aiming the champagne bottle at you, you manage to raise the camera once more and photograph the way he looks at you with so much pride.
for once, you don't mind having champagne in your hair.
click!
it's way after midnight when you come back to your hotel, both pleasantly drunk off of victory and questionable alcohol, the loud music still echoing in your head. lando looks at his trophy again and you can't help but smile.
he always savors his wins so much, with so much gratitude, and god, you love him so much.
you take a picture when he turns his back to you to put the trophy on the small table in the hotel room, but this time there's no loud noises to cover the shutter.
lando shoots you a pointed look. "the fuck was that?"
"nothing, an accident. sorry!"
you kiss him to distract him, switching the mood.
+click!
this time, lando knows.
he's sitting beside you, smile brighter than ever, and you're taking a selfie of the two of you with the camera. in the next, he's pressing a kiss to your cheek.
you smile to yourself looking at the pics. your plan's slowly coming together.
with the help of your hand running through his curls, lando falls asleep in your arms, giving you time to finish what you started.
you import the shots into your laptop, logging in to instagram.
lando's never hidden anything from you - not even his instagram passwords, and that's how you find yourself uploading the shots on his lando.jpg account.
you take some time to think of a caption, but eventually, you figure it out.
"through my eyes. love, y/n."
you hit send, leaning your head against lando's. he'll have a nice surprise to wake up to.
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webbed-menace · 2 years ago
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Thinking about making a genshin focused side blog but still not 100% sure. Like I don’t really know how much fandom presence there is for the game on here but I feel like I want a space to post about it without it going out to my followers that don’t give a shit. Idk tho I would need to follow a lot more blogs I think, I figure out a URL. Perhap maybe tho, watch this space etc
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ponderingmoonlight · 3 months ago
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Meeting your ex jjk boyfriend again after your breakup
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Pairings: Gojo x fem!reader; Toji x fem!reader
Word Count: 3,1 k
Warnings: cheating in gojo's part, overwhelming emotions in every part lol
Well that escalated quickly. If you want a part two with Geto, Sukuna, Chose and/or someone else let me know 🤍
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Gojo Satoru
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You hate to be here. Just the thought of seeing his face again makes your guts turn. When was the last time you encountered each other?
When he was with her.
“Don’t panic, I’m here with you. Remember?”, Utahime mutters into your ear while walking up those cursed steps towards jujutsu high.
“I thought I’d never have to see that jerk’s face again…”
“Well, not when you’re the second strongest. Don’t let that idiot ruin your mood.”
You sign to yourself, gaze drifting over your beloved students.
When you found out your long-term boyfriend Gojo Satoru cheated on you with none other than Mei Mei, you dropped out of Tokyo Jujutsu High immediately. It was Utahime who took you under her wing and made you the teacher you are today – at Kyoto High.
Those past two years, you really managed to stay away from him. After changing your phone number countless times, after searching day and night for a place to live that he won’t find so easily, you finally lived in peace. Far away from the pain he caused, well distracted from your still messed-up feelings.
But now you’re back. And you will be forced to meet that prick.
“There they come”, Nobara mutters while her gaze drifts over every person that comes into frame.
“Hey, who’s that woman over there?”
“That’s (y/n), a former student here at Jujutsu High. She attended the same class as Gojo-sensei. Right now, she’s working as a teacher at Kyoto High”, Megumi explains briefly.
“Former? Why isn’t she here anymore? I’d love to borrow those boots from here. Damn, that outfit really rocks…”
“There have been some…incidents with Gojo-sensei…”
Nobara’s eyes widen in pure curiosity, her eyes scanning you up and down.
“Her, with that white-haired idiot?”
“What are my lovely students talking about?”
Megumi rolls his eyes out of instinct when the tall man comes to a stand behind them.
“Oh look, the students from Kyoto High arrives with their tea-“
His breath gets stuck in your throat when your eyes make contact with his. How long has it been since he last saw you?
You look…flawless. Your hair a little longer than in his imagination, your body well-built by the countless training hours you might have spent over there at Kyoto High.
But your cold gaze is still the same as on that fateful day that still repeats itself over and over inside his head.
Fuck.
“Look who’s there”, he jeers from afar.
You feel like vomiting all over the floor. Were you really dumb enough to think your feelings just disappeared into thin air? You force your eyes away from him and to stare at his students instead. You just need to get those few days over with. Only those couple hours and you’ll get away with not seeing him for another 2 years.
“Shut up, Gojo”, Utahime warns him next to you.
“It’s nice to see you’re still as weak as before, Utahime! I wonder if you’re still crying all the time-“
"Funny, Gojo. It's nice to see your arrogance is still compensating for your insecurities. Some things never change."
The air around you freezes when those words leave your mouth, everyone around you going silent in an instant. It’s only you and him. Him with that suddenly so hardened expression, you with eyes that spit venom his way.  
“Why don’t you save your breath for someone who cares and just leave us alone until the competition starts?”
"Touché. But if you're going to psychoanalyze me, how about we do it somewhere private? We have some catching up to do."
There it is again. That cheeky smile you know painfully well, the way he tilts his head to the side oh so playfully. Your heart wrenches, bleeds out like it did on that day you saw him.
In Mei Mei’s bedroom.
While she was naked.
“I’d rather die, asshole.”
Without gifting him another look you storm away. Towards the main building, as far away as possible without anyone being able to follow you.
Fuck, you swore to yourself you are over this shit. You shouldn’t care about him, shouldn’t even feel bothered by looking at him anymore. Only one glance at him and you’re completely losing it? You thought you were better than this, stronger than you were two years ago. But apparently, nothing changed. You’re still crying over someone who betrayed you in the nastiest way possible.
A gentle grasp on your wrist rips you out of your nightmares and catapults you in an even worse one.
“Let go of me”, you hiss through gritted teeth when his bright blue eyes meet yours.
"I definitely won’t make that mistake again. You can run all you want, but you know we need to talk. You can’t keep avoiding this... or me.”
You yank your wrist away with full force when something inside you snaps.
"Talk? About what, Gojo? How you always think you can just waltz back into my life whenever it suits you? I’m done with your games."
„Stop calling me Gojo like we’re strangers. Just hear me out-“
"Strangers? That’s what we are now, Gojo. Whatever we had, it’s over. You don’t get to decide when I listen to you."
Fuck, you hate the way tears start to burn in your eyes, how his sheer presence shakes you right to your core. Truth is, you never stopped loving him. Not even when he abused your trust like he did, not even when you caught him with Mei Mei that day. Until now, your stupid heart didn’t get the message, still clings onto him for dear life.
And it hurts like hell.
Gojo takes a deep breath in and takes a step towards you.
"Please, just listen. That night - it wasn’t what you think. I was trying to protect you, but I messed up by keeping you in the dark. I would never betray you like that. You have to believe me."
"Protect me? I saw you in Mei Mei’s room. If that wasn’t what it looked like, then explain why you were there. Don’t expect me to just forget what I saw and the way it made me feel. As if your fucking words mean everything!"
You lose it completely, your composure, those rough years of keeping you together. In that second, you lose yourself.
“That night she called me because she told me about a special grade curse that was hunting after you. I entered her room just seconds before you stumbled in. If I had known this, that she only tries to entertain herself with spreading that fucking misunderstanding between us, I would have never-“
“Have you any idea how I felt that day? You…You were my life, Satoru! I would have died for you! And you didn’t even care enough to follow me!”, you now cry out seething with emotion
“I thought I was doing the right thing!”, he shouts so roughly that you flinch.  
“I thought you needed space, that we’ll talk things out when you didn’t respond countless times. I never thought…that you’d actually believe I was cheating on you! You meant everything to me too, and the thought of losing you, of not even knowing where you were, has been killing me. I’m so sorry for not chasing after you. Until this day, there’s nothing I regret more than giving you space in that fucking moment, I should have fought harder to make things right. Fuck, I missed you every single day since you were gone and it kills me, it fucking kills me I can’t call you mine anymore!”
Are those…tears glistening in his eyes. Is that really Gojo Satoru, standing in front of you, crying?
“Seeing you like this… I don’t know if it makes things better or just harder. Maybe you’re genuinely sorry, but the pain you caused me is real. It’s not something that can be fixed with words or tears alone…”
“Just one kiss.”
He draws closer, the heat of his body paired with his signature perfume now so close that you feel like fainting for a second.
“Give me one kiss and I’ll leave you alone.”
“A kiss?”, you breathe out.
His lips haunted you in your dreams frequently, how they felt pressed against yours and comforted you through everything. You hated how your mind always remembered you of what you’ve lost.
Those kissable lips, that mouth that never failed to make you smile.
But now…a kiss?
"Just one kiss, to remember what we had, to see if there’s still something between us. If it doesn’t change anything, I’ll walk away and give you all the space you need. But if there’s even a spark left… I need to know."
Your mind races as you consider his request with a wave of feelings rushing over you like a tsunami. Memories of your shared moments flood back, the warmth of his embrace, the comfort of his touch, and the sweetness of his kisses that used to light up your whole fucking world. But what if he hurts you again? What if all those words are nothing but a filthy little lie to play with you all over?
Your heart pounds while you close your eyes briefly, trying to push through the pain and the intensity of the situation. The idea of that one kiss, despite everything, pulls at your heartstrings. That moment of vulnerability and a chance to confront what’s been haunting her dreams, close enough to touch and feel...
Finally, you open your eyes and nod slowly, your voice barely a whisper.
"One kiss."
Gojo’s eyes soften with a mix of relief and hope as he leans in, his breath warm against your oversensitive and touch-starved skin. His lips meet yours with a gentle, hesitant touch. A bittersweet mixture of longing, regret, and a lingering affection that speaks of all both of you once shared, the feelings that still rise from the ashes between both of you – feelings that never really disappeared. Truth is, you never really stopped loving Gojo Satoru. Even if he shattered your heart into thousands of pieces, even if your heart still aches, you can’t escape his gravity.
Out of instinct, you wrap your longing arms around his neck like you always did, press your body even closer against his. Only that one touch, that one kiss in order to feel that he lied.
But instead, the taste his falling tears on your tongue, feel his desperate hands on your waist. Did…Gojo Satoru miss you as well?
As your lips part, a tear slips down both of your cheeks while heavy breathing fills the cramped room between you.
"From the moment you left, I’ve been lost without you. I thought I could move on, but every day without you has been unbearable. I missed you more than I ever thought possible. I’ve been living in a world where everything reminds me of what we had and what I threw away by not following you that night. I never stopped loving you, not for a single fucking day.
I know I’ve made mistakes and I’ve hurt you in ways I can never fully make up for. But standing here now, feeling your arms around me and knowing that you still care... it’s more than I deserve. I love you, and I’ve always loved you. If there’s any chance for us to rebuild what we had, I’m willing to do whatever it takes. I need you to know that my feelings for you have never faded, and they never will.”
You look at him with a mix of longing and hope, your eyes silently asking for what you’re yearning for.
"One more kiss," you whisper,
"just to see if it’s real.”
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Toji Fushiguro
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Your eyes are focus on the glittery liquid that swirls around in your glass, too focused on the play of color to even listen to that jerk opposite of you.
“(y/n), are you even listening to me?”
“Of course, go on”, you mutter through your hand without even looking up.
To be honest, your dating life has been a mess since that one guy. Dates each and every night, nameless men who cling onto your rock bottom for dear life. Getting showered by meaningless compliment that are supposed to drag you into their beds, the bitter taste of gammahydroxybutyricacid on a regular basis.
Just like now. Liquid ecstasy.
You raise your eyebrows, allow yourself a glimpse at that muscular guy with a face that looks like out of every plastic surgeons dream and that fake rolex around his wrist. As if you’d be dumb enough to actually swallow that shit. But on the other hand, you might as well wait until he spent all his money for you in that way too expensive restaurant before leaving him standing in the rain.
“You have to be the prettiest woman I’ve even seen”, he jeers while grabbing your hand.
You force down that wave of puke that threatens to take you over and put on the sweetest smile you have to offer.
What a loser, honestly. Not even able to read a woman properly.
But none of the men you’ve met since him were.
“Aren’t you thirsty? Don’t you like your drink?”
Yeah, like you’re dumb enough to drink that shit.
“I’d actually like to eat something before drinking. Otherwise, I’m drunk immediately”, you give back oh so innocently.
He lets out a disgusting laughter, his hungry eyes almost pilling you out of your skintight dress. Well, that’s what you get for going on a date with someone who calls himself selfmade CEO of something that has to be another lousy pyramid scheme.
Let’s get this over with.
Your eyes dart around the room aimlessly in order to find a way to escape later on. Unfortunately, the toilets don’t provide a window and as it seems, you won’t be able to escape that main hall. Screw those fancy restaurants and their high alert.
It’s a feeling that crawls up your spine so suddenly that your head yanks to the right out of instinct.
Cold eyes. That scar on the corner of his mouth that flinches when he catches you staring at him.
So familiar cold eyes that you feel like fainting for a second.
It can’t be him, it’s impossible that it’s him-
“Toji?”, you breathe out.
You haven’t seen him since that day.
Since the two of you broke up.
You swore to yourself to never see that man again, moved to Tokyo on order to get lost in the crowd, went on countless dates to fuck his face out of your mind.
But as soon as your eyes land on him, your guts twist just like they did before, a wave of fright washing over your usual so broad back.
“I need to go”, you mutter, not even caring about that douchebag on the other side of the table anymore.
You need to get out of here, need to hide in some lonely corner, need to move to another city. Or another country? It seems like he’ll always find you, no matter where you go.
The cold air of the night hits your face like a wall as you stumble out of the restaurant. Where are you supposed to go? Aimlessly, you haste through the next alley, eyes darting behind you as if you’re haunted.
That toxic fucker, that crazy man who apparently didn’t accept your breakup at all. Toji is no one to be messed with, a maniac when it comes to his toys.
And you are one of those toys. Well, you hope you were.
“Think you can escape me like that?”
The next second, you find yourself pinned against a wall with no way out.
“Let go of me, you freak”, you press out, not even daring to look up at him.
Fuck, you’re absolutely screwed. There’s no way you’ll get out of here like you did last time.
“Is that how you greet the love of your life, huh?”
He grabs your cheek firmly and forces your head towards his.
There they are, those dangerous eyes. Up close, in their full glory.
You feel like puking.
“I don’t love you anymore. You treated me like shit.”
That’s what you told yourself over and over again, literally tattooed on your heart. You can’t love a guy like him, he’ll never give you what you need and want.
“So you’re telling me that guy who wanted to fuck after your blackout is better? Can’t tell me you didn’t notice that loser put something in your drink.”
“It’s none of your business”, you hiss through gritted teeth.
“Everything that has to do with you is my business, babe. You did a good job hiding from me for a few months. But you can’t escape me”, he mutters against your ear.
His hot breath against your naked and oversensitive skin almost sends you over the edge, forces that knot inside your stomach to start pulsating all over again.
That fucker who knows your body so well. That asshole who plays with your feeling all over again.
“We’ve broke up”, you remind him with unsteady gaze.
“So you have no feelings for me? Hate me? Just because I killed that guy-“
“You killed so many people that I lost count. I can’t do this!”, you blurt out.
“But do you love me?”
Your heart almost pounds out of your chest, sweat now covering your forehead only by looking at him. So many nights, you’ve drank enough to forget your own name.
But you never forgot his.
“Doesn’t matter…”
“So you do.”
Before you’re even able to protest, he lifts you up and cages you against the wall. And your lousy traitor of a body? Wraps your legs around his waist as if none of this ever happened.
“I’ll make it up to you, princess”, he mumbles into the crook of your neck, now placing gentle kisses on your bare skin.
You want to tell him to stop, want to yank your body out of his demanding grasp.
But instead, you let your head fall back and close your eyes.
Fuck, you missed this. You missed him.
“And don’t ya dare to run away from me again. You’re mine.”
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@okay-it-is-ivy @paridoliaaa
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bluesidez · 2 months ago
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Hello!!! Love that you’re taking requests now 🫶🏽 would you write a domestic!miguel fic? Like showing the chaotic but fluffy dysfunction of the O’Hara household. Miguel and the reader already have two kids, maybe reader is pregnant with the third (if you’re comfortable with writing that)
I just really need some fluff in my life lol 😅
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[Five Peas In A Pod]
lab taster: @scorpihoooe 🩻
pairing: Miguel O'Hara x Pregnant!Reader
summary: No family's life is exactly perfect, but it doesn't make them any less beautiful.
content warning: lots and lots of fluff, mentions of vomit, mentions of pregnancy and pregnancy cravings, mentions of food, could possibly be suggestive? but not enough to warrant a huge warning, a lot of crying but I promise it's not sad
word count: 4.3k, not proofread
a/n: I apologize for this being so late! But I'm really happy with how it turned out, so I hope you enjoy it as well!
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“Finally.”
Miguel slid under the covers, grunting as he inched towards your back. His breath was warm on your head as he positioned one arm under one of your pillows and another around your waist.
“How are we feeling?” he kissed your scalp and rubbed down your stomach.
“Not too great, she’s been kicking for the past forty minutes.”
“That’s no good,” Miguel shifted to place his mouth on your shoulder. “What’s wrong, mija? Did you miss me?”
Your baby girl brought her feet to where Miguel held his hand, tapping away like there was there was no tomorrow. Miguel chuckled and wrote a pattern into your skin with his thumb.
“I’m glad you two are having a lovely reunion, but I’d like to go to sleep.”
Miguel kissed up your shoulder and neck as you sighed.
“Hear that Gabi? Can you calm down until tomorrow? Mama needs to sleep so you can keep growing. We can talk in the morning.”
Like magic, Gabriella’s little feet slowed to a halt.
“She hasn’t even seen you yet and she’s already a daddy’s girl,” you weave your fingers through his over your stomach. “What’s next? She’ll look like you too?”
“Mm,” Miguel placed his lips behind your ear. “I hope she looks like you. She’ll be the most beautiful in the world.”
You smiled, “Yeah?”
“Of course.”
Miguel took his hands down your body and massaged your hip and lower back. You groaned and melted into your pillow, arching your body into Miguel’s hold. With his ministrations and your daughter giving you a break, you start to fade into dreamland.
You could almost visualize your next craving you were going to make tomorrow. A big bowl of mashed potatoes with chunks of pickles, bacon, and caramel drizzle. Maybe some sprinkles too.
The door of the bedroom creaked, Miguel looking over his shoulder.
“Daddy? Mommy? I threw up.”
Miguel’s hands paused and he heaved a heavy sigh.
There was a dip in the bed and a shuffle of slides across the floor.
“Is your stomach still feeling funny, bub?”
You turned your body to watch Miguel bend down and check your second oldest for soiled clothes. Daniel shook his head and tucked his chin into his chest, eyes welling up with tears.
“Hey, hey, what’s the matter?”
“I’m sorry,” his voice was shaking. “I didn’t mean to.”
You got up on the edge of the bed and walked around to the other side. You sat on your knees next to Miguel and pressed the back of your hand to Daniel’s forehead. He wasn’t burning up, but he was trembling.
“We know you didn’t mean to, honey. Sometimes, we just get sick. It’s ok!”
“Yeah, buddy. Papá gets sick all of the time.”
“Really?” Daniel looked to Miguel with big doe eyes, a baby picture of Miguel brought to life.
“Absolutely.”
“And Mama has to nurse him back to health-”
“Ok! Here,” Miguel tugged at the sleeves of his shirt while you laugh. “Let’s clean you up and get you some medicine. It was probably really scary, huh?”
Daniel nodded his head as Miguel helped him take off his pajama pants.
“C’mon. Let’s take a quick bubble bath. How does that sound? No need to be sad,” you gave Daniel a hug and kissed his cheek.
“I’ll get the sheets and clothes in the washing machine and join you.” Miguel said as he helped you up. So much for cuddles before bed.
Miguel was quick to scope Daniel’s room. Any smell of tonight’s stir fry mixed with the chocolate milk from lunch and your waves of morning sickness might come back. He was quick to transfer the sheets to the washing machine and spray the room down with disinfectant. Luckily, the damage wasn’t drastic, so a quick change of sheets and a mop to the floor was all that was needed.
By the time he got to the bathroom, Daniel was wrapped up in a green dinosaur hoodie towel with a smile on his face as you blew raspberries into his cheek.
Miguel gasped, “Are you two having a party without me?”
Daniel folded his hands under his chin and nodded meekly, face rosy.
“Nonsense!” Miguel swept him up in his arms. “There’s no party without Papá, no?”
The hall filled with giggles as Miguel airplaned Daniel back to his room. The chatter amongst them filled the noise as Miguel reassured Daniel that he and mommy would only be a room away if was feeling sick again.
He ran lotion over his body and placed him in paw print pajamas. He wrapped him tight in the covers and shifted the star night light on the nightstand. With a whisper of goodnight, Miguel inched his way to the door.
However, the crumbling face of the five year old as Miguel looked through the crack tugged at his heart. He opened the door, swept Daniel up, and trudged back to his own bedroom.
Walking into the room, you were laying down with the opposite side of the duvet flipped up and an extra pillow in between yours and his.
Your face was knowing, a shake in your shoulders as you watched Miguel rock a clingy baby in his arms to the bed.
“Joining mommy and daddy, Daniel?”
“Uh huh,” he crawls to the middle and pulls the covers up. You lay a hand on his tummy over the duvet as Miguel slips in with a deep sigh.
He turns and places his hand over yours, the two of you acting as a shield. “I love you’s” and “good nights” are exchanged and a kiss between the two of you is shared before Daniel whines about wanting a kiss too. Both of you laugh and kiss him on his cheeks as he settled into his pillow.
You rub his chest lightly, something that put him to sleep easily as a baby.
His eyes start to close, almost gone to the world, before he jerks back up, startling Miguel whose eyes were just as heavy.
“Papá, can you sing the night-night song?” Daniel pleads.
A soft breath escapes your nose as you watch Miguel blink his eyes open and comply.
“But you have to go to sleep after this, bub.”
Daniel promises to do so as Miguel starts up a lullaby about a baby that wants to sleep but can’t.
It works on you too, the low drum of his voice holding you in his arms as you held your baby in yours.
Gabriella moved, and as softly as you can, you take his hand to your stomach. With this, she taps softly to his palm.
Miguel smiles sleepily as he watches you take a little breath, the rise and fall of your chest showing that you were in a deep sleep.
He only stops singing when he’s sure all three of you are asleep.
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“Jaime, I’ve asked you five times to get up already. Get it together.”
There was only one more hour left before everyone needed to be out of the house or else you’d be late to your appointment.
The lump in the bed only moves a bit before it’s still again.
“Jaime, please. I don’t want to have to pull you out of the bed.”
Today was already starting out all over the place. You woke up sweaty and achy, the heat radiating from your furnace of a husband and your snuggly son was too much. Your ankles felt a little more swollen than usual, and you wanted chewy spicy rice cakes with extra cheese, but the heartburn wouldn’t be worth it.
You sighed as your eldest stayed put. A soft pat to the bed only earned a whine and a wiggle from him.
Looking towards the growing footsteps at the door, your husband was frantic and glaring at his watch as if it cursed him.
“What’s the holdup? We need to be in the car soon and Daniel has to be at school early for a field trip.”
You held your hand out to the bed, face defeated.
“Son.”
Jaime shot up with a wobble to his lips and a scrunch to his face at the tone of Miguel’s voice.
You folded your arms, half concerned, half offended.
“I know you hear your mother asking you to get up.”
“But-“
“Jaime O’Hara.”
The tears start to fall as he shuffles out of bed and goes to the bathroom, his cries pitiful and broken.
He swings the door like he’s about to slam it only to close it softly at the end, the sound of his voice carrying through then hallway.
“Was I too hard on him?” Miguel’s shoulders drop.
“No? I don’t think so. But I think there’s something he’s not telling us.”
“Is there something going on at school? Did we miss an important date?”
The two of you stare at each other as Jaime continues to sob in the bathroom.
“There’s no award ceremonies. He hasn’t said anything strange about his classmates. His birthday isn’t until the end of the year. He does have his game coming up.”
Miguel gasps and runs his had through his hair, “He’s been worrying about his 3-pointers nonstop. He’s probably nervous about it.”
He puts his face in his hand and mumbles through his fingers.
“How could I forget?”
You pat his shoulder, “Don’t worry about that right now. What’s important is that we talk to him. Check up on him, calm him down, explain things to him, and encourage him. Right?”
“Absolutely,” Miguel kisses your temple. “You’re so good at this.”
A snicker follows his statement, “And so are you. Now, can you go stop his crying while I make sure Daniel hasn’t made a mess in the kitchen? He’s too quiet.”
Miguel’s eyebrows shot up again as he realized he left the kindergartner to his own devices. The last time he did that, he walked onto a floor covered in flour and dusty, giggly baby.
“Smart idea.”
“Mm hm.”
Miguel turns and heads towards the bathroom, giving it two knocks before asking to come in.
Jaime takes a deep breath and pushes out a yes.
Miguel opens the door to him crying in the mirror while he puts up his toothbrush. If it were anyone else’s child or baby brother, it could have been funny and dramatic, but Miguel sees himself in the way his entire chest jumps when he breathes in.
He hopes Jaime always feels that home is a safe place to cry and yell, something his own parents never offered him.
“Do you want to tell me what’s wrong?”
He left his frustration with the frantic morning at the doorway and stepped inside. With one hand on the counter and another arm resting on his thigh, he squatted down to Jaime’s level.
His son rubbed his eyes from the inside of his elbow to his arm, “I kept messing up.”
“Messing up what? Your shots?”
Jaime nodded his head, curly hair bouncing along with it.
“At practice, Coach made us do Around-the-worlds and the further from the goal, the more I kept missing. But the game is soon, and I can’t mess up at the game.”
His voice reached its highest point and he bit his lip in order not to cry again.
“Oye, está bien. That’s just practice, mijo. The game isn’t until a few more days. There’s plenty of time for us to get to a court and do some more drills. I know it feels like a lot right now, but we can always work to be better. Understood?”
Jaime nodded his head.
“Can you look at me?”
Jaime pouted as he turned to Miguel.
“I apologize for not giving you the space to explain yourself this morning. I was rushing and I didn’t take the time to check on you. For that, Papá’s sorry. Lo siento, mijo.”
With a calmer demeanor, Jaime forgives him. No whines and no hesitation.
“Still, when you’re feeling like this, you need to communicate, ok? Mamá was there and you could have told her that you were worried. You could have even called for me and I would have come running.”
“I didn’t mean to hurt Mamá.”
Miguel bit the inside of his lip in order to not coo, “I know you didn’t. Would you like to apologize to her like I did to you?”
Jaime collided with Miguel’s chest and wrapped his arms around his neck. He could feel the movement of his head nodding.
“Ok, buddy. Let’s go find her after we get your uniform on.”
Jaime wasn’t budging from his spot so Miguel let him cling off his neck as he got up. One day his eldest might not want to do things like this again, so for now he’ll cherish it.
One blazer, some knaki shorts, and a button down later, Jaime was all ready for school.
“And what do we say when we’re feeling down about ourselves?” Miguel asked as he tucked in the end of Jaime’s belt.
“Nothing can stop me from the path I want to take, not even my doubts.”
“And?”
“O’Hara’s may make mistakes, but O’Hara’s bounce back. O’Hara’s succeed.”
“¡Exactamente!” Miguel patted his back.
“¿Papá?”
“¿Sí, mijo?”
Jaime held his hands up, silently pleading with Miguel.
With an easy tug, his son was in his arms. As tall as he was getting, he was still Miguel’s baby.
In the kitchen, you were leaning over the island as you listened intensely to Daniel talk about types of dinosaurs. You looked up to your son in your husband’s arms and you knew they had a good talk.
Miguel strode up to you and looked at Jaime expectantly.
“I,” he picked at his uniform tie. “I’m sorry for not listening to you this morning Mamá. I was sad but that- that doesn’t mean I was supposed to ignore you.”
Your eyes started to water, “I forgive you, Jaime. I’m glad you were able to figure out what was wrong. Can I give you a kiss?”
“Yes, please.”
With that, you kiss his cheek and place a hand on his head.
“Papá, pick me up too!” Daniel huffs out.
Miguel complies, holding him in his other arm like nothing. You giggle at the three of them, all very similar in some way. Their skin, their hair, their smiles. Your precious, precious boys.
A sharp kick to your stomach causes you to suck in through your teeth.
“What’s wrong? Are you hurt?” Miguel asks with a pinch in his brow.
“No, I just think a certain someone wants your attention, too.”
You gently press your stomach to your husband’s, hoping that he could feel Gabriella’s tap dance performance.
“She’s going crazy in there,” you mumble.
Miguel can kind of feel her little feet through his shirt, but really, he was staring at you.
Even as you frowned at your stomach, you were still so beautiful. Your skin was glowing, you were giving him more smiles than ever, and the pregnancy was treating your body right in his eyes.
“Mírame.”
You peer up at him and it’s like a halo appears above your head. He’s quick to slot his lips against yours and hold it, the feeling of warmth settling into his bones.
“Eugh,” Jaime scrunches his face up in disgust.
You pull back and shake your head with a heated face, brought back to reality. Daniel is giggling behind his hands.
Miguel turned to Jaime and bombarded his face with kisses to, leading the 9-year-old to scream bloody murder. You joined Miguel on his attack, not stopping until Jaime waved his white flag.
The two of you looked at each other and then at Daniel simultaneously who squeaked when he saw you grin. Laughter filled the kitchen as the three of you gave Daniel some love.
Mornings were for chaos, but they also brought you together.
By the time Miguel was walking to the car with his kids, it was far past his estimated time.
He turned and looked at you still standing by the kitchen counter.
“Baby, c’mon.”
“But,” you pause, smile growing on your face. “The baby wants to be carried, too.”
You think he’s about to brush the comment off with a sigh but he gives a “One sec” and disappears into the garage with the kids.
You go to gather your purse and your water, checking that all of the lights and appliances are turned off.
“Ok,” Miguel rushes back in and claps his hands, “vamos.”
Three blinks at his wrestler stance and it clicks. You walk to him and your feet leave the ground.
“You’re so silly,”
“Just in love, mi amor.”
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The gel was still as cold as ever, you could never really get used to it.
Looking to Miguel, you could see that he could never get used to sitting next to you in these rooms either. His grip on your hand was tight and solid.
The obstetrician slid the transducer on your lower stomach, her eyes sliding over the screen.
Gabriella’s little heartbeat bounced through the room, fast and strong.
Miguel’s grip on your hand loosened as he smiled at the screen.
“Baby girl is looking good,” the doctor says. “Everything is in place and she’s growing perfectly. You both should be proud.”
She paused and looked at you both, specifically at Miguel, “I would be worried about how she big she’s getting at this stage, but I can see why. How tall are you?”
“Uh, 6’9.”
A whistle passes her lips, “Godspeed, Mama. You’ll need it for the next several months.”
“Two boys and my only girl is going to give me a run for my money,” you mumble.
Jaime and Daniel were so tiny when they came out, both of them barely showing at five months. Gabriella is close to being almost twice their size at this rate, and the soreness all over your body was showing it.
At least your husband made time to make you feel good in more ways than one.
“Is there anything that she should look out for? Other than the obvious?” Miguel asks, always the worrier.
“No, I think you guys are good to go. I’ll get you some pictures of the baby and get you checked out. Just keep taking your vitamins, get plenty of water, get those feet up, and stretch as much as you can while you still feel like it. The least stress you have, the better.”
Your stomach is wiped clean and in no time, you’re back in the car trying to decide what to get for lunch.
“I feel like I should have asked more questions,” Miguel’s fingers tapped on the wheel.
“I’m sure you’ll have more that you can call her for later, baby. Right now, I want a milkshake.”
“You need some nourishing food, too.”
“Is that what you want Gabriella?” you ask your stomach. No taps, no spins, no twirls. “What about a milkshake? Chocolate oreo? Extra whip cream?” Gabriella thumps three times.
“My girl is already so smart,” you say to Miguel who scowls.
“Already so spoiled.”
“You love it, though.”
“Mm.”
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Miguel swore he would never be like those fathers that only connected to their children through their own expectations of them, and to be fair, he was the complete opposite.
Though seeing him stand at the bottom of the bleachers with a baseball cap, folded arms, and a stern face gave the impression that he was that type of dad.
“¡Ay, eso es faulta!”
“Babe. Maybe let’s let the coach and the referee do their jobs.”
“They don’t know what they’re doing. That was clearly a foul and my son should be holding the ball right now.”
You sighed and continued to chew on your nachos with Daniel who was just happy to be out of the house later than usual. Miguel was about to burn a hole in the gymnasium floor with how stiff he was standing.
Behind him was a family that couldn’t see, leaning around him.
“Miguel, honey, please sit down so everyone can see.”
He sits and folds his hands under his chin. His muscles bulge through his jacket as his legs bounce.
You place a hand on his leg and put a water bottle to his lips. He takes a few sips and focuses back on the game.
“Let’s go, Jaime! Make it count!”
He’s back on his feet again as Jaime gets ready to shoot some free-throws.
Jaime looks at Miguel, a hint of fear in his eyes. Miguel brings his hands up and pushes them down, motioning a deep breath.
“You got this, mijo. Just like we practiced.”
Your son dribbles once, twice, and takes the shot.
The basketball flies through the air and brushes the rim of the basket. It spins and the gym goes quiet. You don’t realize your holding your breath until it comes back when the people behind you stomp on the bleachers.
Jaime looks to Miguel with the brightest face he could muster. Miguel almost springs through the ceiling with how high he jumps.
“That’s my son,” he claps his hands like thunder, chest puffing up. “That’s my son!”
The game continues with Miguel milliseconds from fighting with the official, Jaime looking to Miguel for encouragement, and you smacking the back of his thighs whenever he was standing too much.
When Jaime made the final basket, you were scared Miguel might do a backflip.
Jaime ran to him and jumped in his arms, Miguel spinning him around and laughing with glee.
“I did it, daddy! I did it!”
“¡Eres increíble, mijo! I’m so proud of you.”
“Did you see me, mommy?”
“I did! I couldn’t take my eyes off of you!”
Daniel jumps up and down, “You made the ball go whoosh! And, and, and when it went in everybody screamed!”
Jaime and his brother played together as the gym started to empty out.
“What do you say we celebrate with some pizza?” you ask Miguel as you watch Jaime help Daniel dribble.
“I think that’s an excellent idea.”
“And what do you say to carton of cotton candy ice cream after the kids go to bed? Maybe even a soak in the bath?”
Miguel looked to you as you blinked your eyes at him. You slid your hands down his arm and tilted your head.
“You want vanilla wafers too?”
You nod.
“And strawberry syrup?”
“You’re such a good husband.”
You pull him down to kiss him, heart soaring.
“Mamá! Look what I can do!”
“No, Daniel! Don’t jump off that!”
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“If I hear that raccoon sing that song one more time, I’m going to lose it,” Miguel bit into a slice of pizza.
You reached across the table to wipe some ranch off of his lips and lick it away.
“I like the song! He’s a little off-key, though.”
Miguel had a grimace on his face, the energy from the building overwhelming. Or perhaps it was Daniel clinging tight to his side whenever the mascot came close to their table.
A couple of kids ran by, running towards the line for laser tag.
You listened to them go over strategies, all very serious coming from them.
“God, I can’t believe he’ll be 10 soon. I don’t know what I’m going to do.”
You poke the straw of your cup in and out, pout on your face. It felt like just yesterday you and Miguel were setting up his nursery.
“I remember him grabbing my finger at the hospital. So strong for someone who couldn’t eat solids yet.”
“Now he’s running around and blooming into this perfect little boy,” you sigh, watching him catapult into a ballpit. You should definitely make him take some vitamins later, just to be sure.
“And this little boy is the sweetest,” Miguel kissed the top of Daniel’s head, who seemed to be pre-occupied with a coloring book you packed.
“And once our little girl is in our arms, it’ll be so special,” you say. “She’s already making an impact.”
“I’m already crazy about her,” Miguel grins.
“And I’m ready for her to come out,” you snicker. “I have a feeling that whatever she’ll do will involve these rapid fire feet.”
“I need to get some new running shoes then,” Miguel replies in all seriousness. Daniel interrupted him with a drawing of a T-rex.
“When she gets here,” Miguel comments in between his praise for Daniel’s skill, “how do you want to celebrate afterwards?”
“I don’t need anything. Just maybe a plate of food I couldn’t eat and a comfy bed.”
“Mamà, c’mon,” Miguel held your hand across the table. “That can be arranged easily. I mean something especially for you for doing something so amazing. It can be anything. I’ll make it happen.”
Your heart sped up, a bit giddy.
“Well the last time we took a trip to an island and,” you panned to Daniel, “we both know how that ended. Maybe the mountains?”
“We can do the mountains. Or just you and your friends if you want.”
Miguel thought about you all bundled up and cozy, enjoying s'mores and wine in a sweater and a blanket. Peak cuddling form.
“That would be very nice. Thank you, Miggy.”
“Of course. Now what do you say to a friendly game of arcade racing?”
“There’s nothing friendly about leaving you in the dust.”
Miguel scoffed and slid Daniel into his arms.
“It’s on.”
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As always, if you enjoyed, please like, reblog, and COMMENT! This was very sweet to write!!
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dandylovesturtles · 5 months ago
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explaining the train of thought that got me to this would take way too much backstory but basically I had an idea and then I wrote it. I rewatched Scream recently so maybe that helps lol
cw: death (not of a canon character), mentions of blood and vomit
-----
The call comes in at a little after 2 AM, and he almost doesn’t answer because he’s busy.
But Leo almost never calls him, and it’s a singular enough occurrence that he picks up the phone and hits the button.
“Hello, you are conversing with Donatello,” he greets. “Make it quick, Nardo, I’m elbow deep in the tank’s engine.”
On the other end of the line, Leo is silent. Or, mostly silent; Donnie can hear him breathing, a little too loud, a little too fast.
Suddenly, he’s on high alert. He sits back from the tank, speaking more urgently into the phone, “Leo?”
There’s another second of breathing, and then, finally, in a voice that is too high and panicked to be his normal joking tone, he says, “Hey, remember when I sent you that meme about siblings who will beat the crap out of each other one minute and hide a body for each other the next, and I said, “us,” and you gave it a heart?”
Donnie blinks. Processes that string of words.
“I think I recall it,” he says.
“Well,” says Leo. “I need to know if that’s really us.”
Donnie stands up and keys in the command to swap battleshells to the jetpack.
“Stay where you are,” he says. “I’m on my way.”
-----
The body is male. Early twenties. About six two or six three. Caucasian. Wearing some ghoulish mask like the serial killer in a bad teen slasher.
Actually, now that Donnie thinks about it, there’s been stuff on the news lately. About a guy who likes to knife up co-eds. And Leo’s wearing his biggest, baggiest hoodie, and jeans, and in a dark alley like this it would be easy to mistake him for a normal, non-mutated human teen.
The puzzle pieces are all laid out for Donnie, but the picture it paints is pretty unbelievable.
Then again, he’s a mutant turtle who grew up in a sewer and recently fended off an alien invasion. His bar for believable is pretty low.
He takes in the body, slashed across the chest, ridiculous getup soaked in blood. Then he turns to look at Leo, curled around his knees against the wall. There’s blood all over him, too, but Donnie feels pretty confident that most of it is not his own. There’s a puddle of vomit nearby, and a dagger, and a katana, cast aside.
Leo raises his eyes to meet Donnie’s. “I didn’t know he was human.”
Donnie looks back at the body, and at the mask. Connects it to the dagger, which definitely isn’t Leo’s.
“Seems like he was a great guy,” Donnie says. 
“He stabbed my arm.”
“I meant it sarcastically.”
Leo laughs, high and reedy. Then he leans over and vomits again.
Donnie can’t help but curl his snout at that one. He looks away and waits for Leo to finish.
There’s a spit, then a sniff, then Leo says, “He stabbed my arm and I turned around and saw the mask.”
Ah yes, that. It’s pink and has a serrated smile. Little rubbery bits of slime and ooze. These things got popular after the invasion - they aren’t anywhere near the real thing, but in a dark alley, under attack, alone, when Leo had…
The puzzle pieces are there. Donnie doesn’t really need an explanation to put it together.
Actually, scratch that: he does need an explanation for one thing.
“Why are you so upset about this?” He looks back at Leo. “You took out a serial killer. Or a wannabe serial killer. At the very least a stabber.”
“I didn’t mean to kill him,” says Leo immediately. A little pleading. “I didn’t think that would… I didn’t know he was human.”
“He attacked you.”
“I could have disarmed him. I could have trapped him and let the police deal with him.”
“He came up behind you in this creepy mask and stabbed your arm.”
“He didn’t stand a chance against me,” says Leo, and it’s not swaggering and not boastful, but horrified. “It was like tearing paper, Dee. It was so easy.”
Donnie leaves the body to kneel in front of his brother. He puts his hands on his shoulders, looking him straight in the eye to make sure he listens.
“He attacked you, Nardo. He wanted to kill you. He made the wrong choice. Not you.”
Leo looks down, at the blood on his hoodie, and Donnie squeezes his shoulders until they lock eyes again. 
“He made the wrong choice,” Donnie repeats emphatically. 
Leo sighs, like he’s giving in, and a rueful smile grows on his face. “Thanks, hermano. But I don’t think the EPF is gonna see it that way.”
Ah yes, the good old United States government, and their hilariously poorly titled Earth Protection Force. Since the invasion, their existence had become known to the EPF, and they’ve been in an unspoken truce ever since. A “live and let live” holding pattern.
Unfortunately, Donnie has to admit Leo is right on this one: that this man is likely and most probably a serial killer won’t matter to the EPF. Killing any human crosses a line they won’t tolerate.
And so, there is only one solution here. The one Leo proposed when he first called.
Donnie is going to help him hide a body.
…Which means he is going to have to touch it.
Leo frowns at him. “Uh, Dee, what’s the yarf-face for?”
“I just realized how gross this is going to be.”
Leo laughs again, more than a little hysterical, and lets his head fall against Donnie’s plastron, the giggles shaking his shoulders under Donnie’s hands.
“That wasn’t a joke,” Donnie insists. Leo just laughs even harder.
Donnie scowls, even as he pulls Leo closer. “That meme really is us. I want to beat the crap out of you right now.”
Leo howls with laughter. Except it sounds a little more like sobbing now. Donnie gathers him up and holds him until he’s better again.
-----
Across the Hudson, the sky is turning pink. Donnie stands with Leo, watching the water that the body disappeared under.
They’ve already scrubbed the alley clean of any blood traces - his and Leo’s. He also had his drones bring gloves with the cleaning supplies, so they didn’t leave any fingerprints. At least Leo had the sense not to touch anything. And it’s not like the government has their prints on file, anyway. Donnie’s checked.
There wasn’t anything they could really do to hide the massive laceration that led to the body’s death. Short of melting it in acid, but both of them had dismissed that idea as soon as Donnie raised it. Despite what Donnie thinks of himself, he isn’t actually a stone cold disposer of bodies. The idea of melting it was too gross to think about.
Besides, it doesn’t matter if the body gets found, as long as it doesn’t get traced back to them. And Donnie doesn’t see any reason it should.
He’s already hacked any security cameras near the scene and made sure Leo doesn’t show up on any of them. Leo’s a good enough ninja to avoid that sort of thing, anyway, not that Donnie will admit it out loud. The crabs and fish will take care of the flesh and the katana’s mark. Leo destroyed the weapon itself in a bright blue explosion of ninpo.
“It’s kind of a bummer,” says Leo after a minute, “that the murders will go unsolved.”
“No, they won’t.” Donnie pulls out a phone, holding it carefully with his gloves. “He helpfully took trophy photos.”
Leo’s eyes go wide. “Dude, did you fish around in his pockets?”
Donnie can’t help but curl his lips. “Ugh, don’t remind me. It was a very unpleasant experience and I don’t want to repeat it.”
“What are you going to do with it?”
“Find where he lived and leave it there.” Donnie shrugs. “His body will turn up, or he’ll get reported missing. The cops will find it and everything will be wrapped up in a neat little bow.”
“Huh. Guess that takes care of that.” A pause. Leo shuffles a bit next to him. “You’re… really calm about this.”
Is he? Since the moment he got that phone call, he entered Fix It mode. He hasn’t really thought of anything else since.
“I don’t know if I will be later,” he admits.
“I’ll be there, if you’re not.”
Donnie hums an acknowledgement. There’s a weight against his arm, Leo leaning into him.
“Thanks, Dee,” he says.
“You’d do the same for me,” Donnie replies.
“Yeah,” Leo agrees. Simple as that.
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harryslittlefreakk · 2 months ago
Text
kiss it better
summary: when y/n doesn’t show up to work, harry takes her care into his own hands. ceorry x PA y/n
warnings: mentions of illness and vomiting! just plain fluff other than that
wordcount: a little over 2k
a/n: in honour of me being gravely ill 😀 this is probably not very good lol whatevs!!!! i wanted to write and fluff was calling my name
masterlist
Harry glanced at his watch, frowning as he realised something was off. You were always punctual, always greeting him with a smile and a steaming cup of coffee before he even stepped into his office. But there was no sign of you. His desk was a little too tidy in the absence of your swirling handwriting on sticky notes and files. It smelled musky without the sweet coconut of your perfume to counter the dominance of his aftershave.
He set his briefcase down, pulling out his phone to dial your number. He knew he shouldn’t call you, that whatever kept you from work was obviously important, but he needed to know. The phone rang into Harry’s ear a few times before going to voicemail, his brows knitting as he left his office in search of an explanation for your absence.
He didn’t have to wait long to find out, an email pinging through to his phone almost as soon as he opened his mouth to ask where you were.
Without thinking twice, Harry grabbed his coat and headed for the door, his heart thudding with concern, for reasons that he couldn’t quite place. You never missed work. You were always so reliable, pushing yourself even when you shouldn’t, even when Harry told you not to. If he was in the office, you were too, always leaving later than him and getting in earlier.
He stopped by a small deli as he left the office, ringing his mum in the middle of the fresh produce aisle to get her family-favourite soup recipe. Some fresh bread, vegetables, milk and teabags, medicines and ginger shots.
Harry was carried by some sort of unseen force, a desire to be the hero for a day. It wasn’t until he reached your building’s main entrance that he thought to question what he was doing.
He hadn’t even told anyone he was leaving - his briefcase was still sat on his chair, his work untouched. He was skipping on his own company to show up at your door laden with supplies like he was close enough to you to be your caretaker. He shook his head gently, his out-stretched finger reaching for your buzzer before he even made his mind up on whether to stay or go.
He was at your front door a few minutes later, the groceries hanging limply in his hand as he took in your appearance, his features softening as his eyes trailed over your face. Your usually bright skin was dull and pale, your brown eyes outlined by reds and purples, the tip of your nose tinted pink, your lips dry and cracked.
“Harry? What are you doing here?” you asked, your voice thick and hoarse.
You pulled your cardigan tighter around your waist, wishing the building would just collapse around you, a stray meteor would strike you down, anything to not be standing in front of your boss in your skimpy pyjamas while he looked at you like you were a wounded puppy.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were sick?”
You shrugged, stepping back into your door as Harry moved towards you. “I didn’t want to bother you. It’s just a cold.”
“Bother me?” He shook his head, stepping around you and pulling the door closed behind him. “You’re never a bother, y/n. I was worried.”
Before you could protest, he was already moving into your small kitchen, setting the groceries on the counter. “I bought supplies. Have you had any medicine? You go sit down and I’ll bring you some over. Tea, coffee, water?”
You looked around in a daze, your gaze flitting between the front door and Harry as your brain struggled to catch up. Medicine, supplies, tea, sick, worried. His words were buzzing around your clouded mind, your brows knitted as you stepped towards him.
“Harry, you don’t have to-” you started, but he shot you a pointed look over his shoulder. You knew that face all too well. It was the ‘I’m in charge here, and we both know it’ look that you’d seen him giving to clients and staff countless times over the past year, usually followed by a smirk in your direction.
“Sit. That’s an order,” he said with a hint of a smile. “I’ll take care of everything.”
You sighed but obeyed, shuffling over to the sofa and sinking into the cushions. You knew better than to argue, especially with the way your body was aching after only walking to the door and back.
“I’ve had medicine already,” you told Harry, nodding your head towards the packet on the coffee table. He padded over, reaching for the pills with a satisfied smile.
“Good girl. Where are your mugs?”
Good girl. You pressed the back of your hand to your cheek, knowing instantly that you were burning up and it had nothing to do with the flu.
“Top cupboard on the left,” you muttered, your voice tiny as Harry stared down at you.
You’d found yourself in a dangerous game. It was hard enough to control yourself around Harry in the office with your wits about you, but with him in your home, apparently intent on taking care of you, calling you a good girl, you were almost ready to plan the wedding.
“Oh no.”
A sudden wave of nausea washed over you, your eyes glued to the floor as you scrambled to your feet, rushing past Harry as if he wouldn’t notice if you went fast enough. You barely made it to the toilet before the nausea overwhelmed you, your body heaving.
Within seconds, Harry was behind you. He knelt down, one hand gently pulling your hair back from your face while the other rubbed over your shoulders. “I’ve got you,” he murmured softly.
Now you really wished someone would smite you down. Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes, both from the force of being sick and the embarrassment of having Harry see you like this. You tried to apologise, but another wave hit, cutting you off.
“You’re okay,” Harry whispered, his hand never stopping its gentle motion on your back.
You slumped back against the wall, exhausted. Harry stood up to wet your flannel, crouching in front of you to dab at your forehead and cheeks, his touch tender and careful, as if you might break.
The ridiculousness of it all almost made you laugh. There he was, in his thousand pound suit, his curls perfectly styled, wiping the sick from your face as you poured like a child in your Barbie pyjamas. And it was only 11am. There was plenty of time for things to get even worse for you.
“I’m sorry,” you whispered, your voice hoarse and weak. “That was mortifying.”
“Hey, none of that,” Harry said firmly, but his eyes were soft as he studied your face. “You’ve taken care of every one of my needs for a year. You’re sick, I’m not going anywhere.”
He pulled you to your feet, keeping a tight hold of your hand as he guided you back to the sofa, fluffing your cushions before you sank down.
You closed your eyes, your body aching with fatigue and the lingering embarrassment of being so messy and vulnerable in front of your boss.
As if he could read your mind, Harry sat down beside you, his arm wrapping tightly around your shoulders, pulling you into his side. “I’ve got you,” he murmured again, his voice ghosting over the top of your head. “Just rest. I’m not leaving.”
You let out a shuddering breath, the warmth of his body against yours easing some of the lingering chills. Slowly, the tension began to drain away, the exhaustion tugging at you. You turned slightly, pressing your face into his chest, the steady beat of his heart beneath your cheek.
He shifted, carefully adjusting his position so you could lie more comfortably against him. His fingers stroked through your hair, chills shooting straight down your spine.
“You’re okay,” Harry whispered, his lips brushing against your hair. “I’m right here.”
When you didn’t respond, Harry stayed still, holding you close, his heart aching at how fragile you suddenly seemed to him. He would keep you safe, he promised to himself.
You were still glued to Harry’s side when you woke, although he’d clearly been busy while you were out cold.
His blazer was slung over a chair, his shirt sleeves rolled up as they always were after a few hours of work. His arm was still tight around you, his free hand dancing across the keyboard of his laptop as he stared and muttered at the screen.
Your lips curled into a little smile with the realisation that he’d been up and about while you slept but had still come back to cuddle you. Your hand instinctively flew to your mouth, covering your smirk before Harry noticed just how happy you were to wake up at his side.
His eyes snapped over to you, his eyes crinkling as his mouth stretched into a grin. “Morning, sunshine,” he teased, setting his laptop to the side.
A gasp fell from your lips as you looked beyond him for the first time since you opened your eyes, realising how little light was left. “It’s nearly dark, Harry. How long was I out?”
“A while,” he shrugged. “It’s a good thing. Your body heals while you sleep.”
You pulled away from him to sit up straight, suddenly conscious of the wet patch on his shirt, his tattoos stark against the translucent fabric. “I kept you hostage here for hours while I drooled all over you.”
“I’ll forward you my dry cleaning bill,” he smirked, peering down at the mark. “I don’t mind, really. I had Tony bring my bits over,” Harry shrugged, nodding towards his laptop. “I got quite a lot done. Maybe we should work from home more often.”
“I won’t be making a habit of chucking my guts up in front of you and drooling all over you,” you whispered, your cheeks blazing hot.
“Glad to hear it, sweetheart. How are you feeling? Do you fancy eating?”
You nodded, running a hand through your wild hair. You didn’t even want to imagine what you looked like. It was becoming increasingly more apparent that you’d have to change your name and flee the country the second Harry left you alone.
But as he padded away from you, you listened to him bustling around your kitchen, the familiar clink of plates and cutlery, it felt all too comforting and all too normal.
Harry came back with a tray, a steaming bowl of soup, some toast, and a cup of tea balanced on top, a tea towel thrown over his arm. He set it down carefully on the coffee table, then sat beside you, watching as you guided a spoonful of soup past your lips.
“This is really good,” you murmured, surprised at how the warmth seemed to spread through you, easing the ache in her throat.
“Glad you like it,” he said, looking pleased. “My mums recipe. I’m half convinced your head could fall off and that soup would manage to cure it.”
You managed to eat most of the soup, under Harry’s watchful gaze. When you finished, he cleaned up quickly, then returned with a fresh cup of tea for you both and a blanket.
“You didn’t have to do all this,” you said softly as he draped the blanket over you.
He gave you a gentle smile, pulling your legs onto his lap. “I wanted to. You take care of me. Let me take care of you for once.”
The energy shifted in the room, the atmosphere clouded with something unspoken. You rubbed a finger over your lips, your gaze lingering on Harry as he traced patterns over your skin.
He glanced over at his laptop, pushing the screen closed. “Alright, I think we’ve earned a movie,” he said, a teasing smile playing on his lips. “What’s your favourite?”
You shrugged, turning your attention to the tv. “I always watch Harry Potter when I’m sick.”
He laughed softly, shaking his head. “Barbie pyjamas and Harry Potter. Maybe I don’t know everything about you.”
“Simple pleasures,” you shrugged, a smile tugging at the corners of your mouth.
As the movie played, the sky gradually darkened, the light from the screen casting soft shadows across the room. You’d pulled your legs from Harry’s lap at some point, sinking into the sofa beside him as you sipped at your tea. He kept his eyes on you as you put the mug back down, then without a word, he gently wrapped an arm around you and pulled you closer.
You hesitated for a moment before relaxing against him, your head resting on his shoulder. It felt more natural earlier, when you were still dazed and cloudy and overwhelmed with embarrassment. It still felt right, comforting and familiar, but you were so much more aware of your proximity now. Still, when Harry’s hand began to rub slow, soothing circles on your arm, you melted into him.
You glanced up at him after a minute, catching his profile in the flickering light. His eyes were focused on the screen, but there was a softness to his expression, a tenderness that made your heart flutter.
He must have sensed your gaze, because he looked down at you, his eyes locking with yours. For just a moment, the movie, the room, the soft pounding of your head all faded away.
Harry’s hand stilled on your arm, his fingers lingering as if unsure of what they wanted to do next. Then, slowly, he reached up to cup your cheek, his thumb brushing lightly over your flushed skin.
“Y/n..” he murmured, his voice barely a whisper. There was something in his eyes, something vulnerable and almost hesitant, as if he were seeking permission.
Your breath caught, your heart quickening. You pushed your head against his touch, just the slightest movement, your eyes never leaving his.
That was all the encouragement Harry needed. Leaning in slowly, he pressed his lips to yours, the kiss so soft and gentle it was almost like the ghost of a breath against your skin. His hand moved to cradle the back of your head, his touch careful, still so gentle as if he was scared he’d break you.
But his kisses were sweet, unhurried, and full of something you couldn’t put into words. He kissed you like he was savouring every moment, like he thought it might be the only time he’d ever feel your lips against his. You felt your whole body surrender to him, enveloped in the warmth and care of his touch.
“You’re going to get sick,” you whispered when he pulled back, his thumb swiping over your bottom lip.
He leaned in again, pressing another soft kiss to your lips, then one to your temple, his arms tightening around you as you buried your head in his chest. “I think I’ve spent enough time in your company to end up catching your germs anyway. At least I got to do that,” Harry murmured, smoothing a hand over your hair.
You stayed like that, wrapped up in each other, the movie forgotten. The world outside didn’t matter, the weight of how shitty you felt didn’t matter, the impending infection you’d passed to Harry didn’t matter. In the quiet shadows of the evening, you snuggled closer, feeling his heart beat steadily against you, and for the first time in a long while, you felt truly content.
“Stay with me?” you murmured, her voice barely audible.
“Of course,” he promised, his lips brushing over your hair.
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