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viinchester · 4 years ago

Text

Left For Dead

Warnings: Swearing, Angst, Descriptive Sex, Fingering, Violence, Descriptive Injuries, Non-Con/Dub-Con?(Reader ends up liking it so idk), Badly written Smut, hints of a breeding kink (Like 2 sentences)

Fandom: The Devil All The Time (Movie)

Pairing: Lee Bodecker x F!Reader

Request: Written for this awesome request @slothspaghettiwrites received and forwarded to her followers for us to write.💞

Summary: You're new in town and manage to unintentionally catch the Sheriff's attention. Being his girl doesn't only give advantages though.

Word Count: 5.483 (This kinda got out of hand😅)

My Masterlist

A/N: I'm so sorry for ruining this perfectly decent request. This probably isn't what you wanted, like at all, but I hope you can enjoy it nonetheless.🥺 This definitely doesn't have as much Angst or protective!Lee as it probably should. It's also my first time writing Lee, so I'm sorry if he seems out of character. Also, I'd like to thank @threeminutesoflife for advising me to post this as a separate blog rather than a reply to the original ask in order for my tags to show up in Tumblr's search.💞

You still weren't entirely certain how the Sheriff and you'd ended up together.

No, scratch that, you remembered specifically how.

You didn't grow up in Knockemstiff.

Your mother did, but she moved away pretty much as soon as she was legally able to do so. When she died a few months ago, you felt completely alone and abandoned. Your father had bitten the bullet many years back and you didn't have any siblings or cousins or even aunts or uncles. All that was left of your family was your dear grandmother (bless her heart) who however lived in Knockemstiff, prompting you to move back there to get a bit closer to your roots.

Fresh in town and financially unstable, you'd begun serving at a Diner to pay both your and your grandmother's bills, moving in with her and taking care of her.

And you liked this city, for the most part anyway. It was peaceful, nothing outstanding ever actually happened. The community knew each other well and everything had its secure position here.

Some would call this place boring, but you preferred boring.

Working at the Diner, you quickly got to know every soul in the town, if directly or through the occasional rumors and gossips you overheard. It took some time, but the people grew comfortable around you, you just held something about you that nobody could despise.

You were a pleasant person to be around, always attentive and well-spoken. There were no snarky remarks from your side nor did you ever speak poorly about anyone on purpose or with evil intent.

When somebody required assistance with something, you were one of the first to offer your services, always with a warm smile on your face.

Enter the Sheriff.

A man that couldn't be any more different from you than a buttercup was from a cactus. He wasn't constantly outright mean, but he didn't make any effort to be polite either. The Sheriff was a man who recognized the power he carried in his position and thrived on it.

The first time you'd encountered him was the third day on your job. He'd shown up at noon, picking a table meant for families right next to the entrance with a window view to the parking lot. His presence had an immediate influence on the atmosphere in the Diner, everybody communicated much more hushed and nobody dared to even glance in the Sheriff's direction.

When the other employees caught wind of him, they exchanged one simple look, before nodding in agreement.

Tiffany, one of those employees and your colleague, strolled over to you and asked you to take care of the Sheriff, cautioning you with nothing more than a 'Just be civil'. She'd consciously sent you straight into the lion's den without remorse. It wasn't that she wished you anything bad, but she wasn't about to deal with the Sheriff when somebody else could do the job.

So, exactly like all the other times when a new face arrived at the Diner, you straightened the yellow-white striped dress-uniform you wore and walked over to the table the Sheriff sat with a pleasant smile on your face while carrying the paper you'd write his order on.

"Good day, Sheriff. What can I get for you?" You greeted him politely, his head immediately snapping towards you at your voice from where he'd been staring out the window.

He was quite obviously surprised to see someone new serving him, blinking shortly, before furrowing his brows.

Sitting up, he leaned back a little to take in your appearance with hooded eyes.

Smooth skin, clean clothes, hair in a bun, a body with curves in all the ideal places. His pants strained the slightest bit, finding you attractive.

Clearing his throat, the Sheriff finally spoke up: "Hamburger, french fries, and a coffee, black."

Watching you dutifully jotting down his order, he yearned to touch you but waited for an opportunity.

"Coming right up for you, sir. Will that be all?" He had to give it to you, you knew how to do your job and you did it well.

Gruffing out a "No.", he waited until you turned away to snatch your arm and keep you back, causing you to spin to him again with a wildly beating heart.

"Actually.." He started and you had to fight hard not to let your sudden fear show on your face. "I don't think I've ever seen you around before. You new in town?"

He still maintained his hand on your arm, not quite as forceful anymore, however.

Gulping, you promptly answered with a: "Yes, Sheriff. I moved here four days ago to take care of my Granny."

"Mhm." The Sheriff assessed, squinting his eyes the slightest bit while you nervously clutched the papers in your hands. "What's your name, missy?"

"Y/N, sir." - "Welcome in Knockemstiff, Y/N. I'm sure you understand I like to keep tabs on my people as Sheriff of the town."

After a final nod and a mumbled 'thank you' from you, the Sheriff finally let go of your arm, a subtle bruise left where he'd grabbed you. Turning around and walking back to the kitchen, you forced yourself not to grimace, noticing everybody in the Diner discretely but totally obviously having watched the exchange of words.

You handed in the order to the cook, trembling from the bad feeling the Sheriff gave you, sighing. Tiffany glanced at you from the side but didn't say anything, so you kept your mouth shut as well.

Over the following weeks, the man you'd come to known as Sheriff Lee Bodecker became a frequent visitor of the Diner. Exactly like the first time, you were constantly the one sent to attend to him, and unwilling to protest, you did. You still treated him like every other guest and he never touched you again or recited anything other than his order to you, and you essentially relaxed.

Then, someday somehow, something shifted. And suddenly the Sheriff was everywhere.

When you went to get groceries at the store, he was there. When you were in church, he was there. When you had your lunch breaks, his cruiser was right around the corner. When you walked home, sometimes you caught him following you from some distance. The last straw was when you were home and looked out the window, just to see the cruiser driving by way too slowly.

It became too much, sleepless nights spent worrying about whether he was outside the house right now.

You didn't dare talk to anyone about it, you were aware of his influence in the town and knew of his ways to play foul with his job. Things were hushed about the man behind his back that you overheard and they left you fearing for your life if you ever decided to open your mouth and say something.

So, you forced yourself to put up with it.

Hoping that he'd one day lose interest and finally stop following you around.

After an entire week of barely two to three hours sleeping, you determined to shake up your routine and do something different for a change. You shoved the thoughts about the Sheriff to the last corner of your mind and dressed for a fun night on Saturday evening. The short dress barely covered your ass, your lace panties on display, cleavage inviting. When you left the house, you told your grandmother not to expect you home before the next morning or noon. You weren't planning on coming home tonight, hoping to find someone good-looking to dance your troubles away with and spend the night with.

When you arrived at the club, you tossed back a few shots to get you started and into the mood, not taking long to scoot onto the dancefloor. You weren't oblivious to the longing and jealous glances thrown your way, after all the outfit you'd selected was a pretty daring choice in the small town of Knockemstiff, and unheard of. It didn't take long for the first men to surround you like moths that were attracted to light, and you spent the rest of your night dancing, laughing, and drinking while flirting.

One particular gentleman, James, quickly became a favorite of yours as he had a unique sense of humor and sparkle in his eyes with every word. It didn't hurt that he was quite handsome too. James paid for a few drinks and eventually invited you to go home with him, so you instantly agreed.

On your way outside, he grabbed your hand and when you finally reached the exterior, he kissed you with passion. Longingly, you kissed him back, grabbing the rear of his head and neck to pull him nearer. He did the same, shielding your skull from the hard stone wall behind you as he pushed you against it in the process. Moans of lust escaped your mouth when he traveled his lips down your face, onto your throat and bare neck. Grinding his bulge into your stomach, you raised your hips to answer him eagerly.

With a loud smack, James' lips left your neck and he panted, telling you: "God, baby. I'm not sure I can wait until we get home."

You couldn't help the smirk from forming, feeling the same way.

In a daring voice, you purred: "Then don't. You've got a car, don't you?"

"Oh fuck yes."

Both of you stumbled in the direction of his car and he slammed you to the door, while blindly reaching for the handle in the dark.

Nothing existed around the two of you and because of that, you both failed to notice the police cruiser parked only a few lots away from you.

"Shit, James. I need you." You moaned and he finally found the handle of the door, pulling it open.

As you stripped yourself of your dress, you fell onto the backseat, scurrying back while throwing aside your outfit, so James could follow you inside.

"I know, baby. I'm so hard for you." He acknowledged your calls, climbing inside after you and yanking down his pants. "Holy fuck, you look so good in that. But I need to see you out of it."

His fingers easily enough found the back of your bra, opening it and slowly pulling it down with his teeth, smirking at you.

Reaching behind him afterward, he closed the door of the car and pulled off his shirt, tossing it to the front, like the rest of the clothes so far.

He explored your naked chest, trailing his fingers over your nipples, which hardened instantly. Stretching up, you grabbed the hair at the back of his neck and pulled him down, face first onto your breasts. Eagerly his tongue latched onto your left nipple and you moaned loudly, pushing your hips up and into his crotch. Letting your hands slide lower, you pulled off James' underwear, and he did the same with your panties.

Finally, oh sweet finally, he positioned himself and started pushing in.

Not even an inch in, both of you startled and flinched when somebody loudly banged their fist again the window behind James.

"Open the door, it's the police." The Sheriff's dooming voice announced and James and you stared at each other.

One second, you're laying on each other, hands roaming all over the other's body, the next you hastily jump into action, desperately searching for your clothes.

Another knock.

"I'm not gonna say it again. Open the door or I'll open it myself."

"Shit shit shit," James mumbled quickly while pulling up his underwear, handing you your bra. "One moment please, sir!"

The door opened abruptly and you and James stared into the Sheriff's flashlight like deers caught in the headlights.

"Out. Both of you." The Sheriff ordered.

James hurried to follow the instructions, jumping out of the back of the car, before reaching inside and offering you a hand. Wildly blushing you took it and pulled yourself outward, trying not to stare at the raging and obvious hard-on he still had.

Putting your hand over your exposed lower parts, you couldn't help both the shame and anger that coursed through you at that moment.

Shame to be found and seen in such a compromising position by none other than the head of the law around town.

And anger, because he ruined a perfectly good opportunity to get off and probably followed you here.

"Any good reason why I shouldn't immediately give the two of you tickets for indecent exposure in public and haul your asses to the station?" The Sheriff spoke up, eyebrows raised in almost a mocking manner.

James and you exchanged a single glance, before looking back at the Sheriff.

Sheepishly James begged him: "Please, sir. I'm so sorry, this won't ever happen again. We just wanted to get home and-"

"Boy, this ain't 'getting home' and we all know it. You couldn't have waited until you got there?" Sheriff Bodecker cut him off and put his hands to his hips.

And at that moment where your eyes fell to his hips, you were able to make out his boner through his pants. Wide eyes immediately snapped up again before somebody caught you looking, but your heart sped up.

"You're lucky I know your father, boy. Since this was the first time this ever happened, I'll let you off with a warning."

Both James and you breathed out in relief, but the Sheriff snapped his fingers in your direction.

"Not you, missy. You're gonna stay here and we're gonna talk about the consequences." - "But, sir-" James closed his mouth again abruptly at the dark look the Sheriff shot him.

"Get in your car and drive home. We'll take care of this alone." Sheriff Bodecker ordered him and your blood ran cold.

No. No no no. Don't leave me alone with him.

James shot you a sorry look but hurried to get inside his car nonetheless.

"My clothes-" - "Get 'em. Fast." The Sheriff allowed you and you hastily opened the door to the passenger seat while James sat in the driver's seat and helped you collect them, handing them to you.

He mouthed an apology and you gave him an understanding look, before getting out again and closing the door.

As you went ahead to pull on your panties, the Sheriff grabbed your arm harshly and told you: "Not so quick."

Staring at him, you could only stumble after him when he yanked you around to his cruiser.

"Sheriff?" You asked him, but instead of answering, he opened the door to the backseats of the cruiser and shoved you inside, not caring that you hit your head. "What-"

Swiftly, he followed you inside, climbing over you and you scrambled away, panicking as you tried to open the other door, but found it locked. The other door fell closed behind Sheriff Bodecker, his hands locating your hips and squeezing them forcefully.

Screaming out in pain, you put your hands above his, trying to yank them off.

"Stop, what are you doing-"

"You're such a goddamn tease." He cut you off, groaning loudly as he took in your body. "I've wanted you since I first saw you, but you just had to play hard to get. I know you saw me following you. You knew I'd follow you here tonight. You just wanted to get fucked by me, love, didn't you?"

Outraged at that accusation, you attempted to sit up, unwillingly allowing Lee to reach behind you and force your bra open and away. Putting your hands against his chest to push him away, Lee used the moment and nuzzled his head between your breasts, groaning.

"No! I didn't want this! You're insane, let go of me!"

A shudder ran through your body at the feeling of Lee grinning with his teeth against your breasts, before pulling away and moving to lean his face over yours.

"Baby, you're gonna love this, trust me." He told you and then went to unbutton his trousers.

"NO! I'll-I'll go to the police!" - At that, the Sheriff laughed.

"Sweetheart, I am the police. So let's be honest. Who are they going to believe? You, a stupid brat who's just moved into town, and who was seen flashing her body at a club and leaving with a guy that's not your husband? Or me, the Head of the Law who's been keeping this town safe for centuries now?" He mused, smirking. "Besides, you're not going to tell anyone. Wanna know why? For the same reason, you didn't tell anyone about me following you around. You like it."

Protesting, you shook your head.

"No, I don't! I'm afraid of you, that's all!" You sobbed, tears now flowing down your face at the predicament you found yourself in.

"Oh baby, it's okay. You can like it, no problem with that. You're my good sweetheart, aren't you? Always so polite and nice to everyone. Had me hard the moment I saw you."

The Sheriff finally pulled down his pants and followed with his underwear, making you flail around harder. His one hand clenched your hip harshly, forcing you to stay still, while the other one mounded your pussy.

Clasping your eyes shut, you knew Lee was able to feel how wet you were. And honestly, while you wanted to blame it at your former interaction with James, you knew it wasn't all that. No matter how much you denied it, you did kind of like the way Lee was handling you.

Chuckling, Lee rubbed his hand over your clit and began playing with it, causing your hips to press up into his grip. To disassociate yourself from the entire situation, you turned your head away and pressed your eyelids together more tightly, but nothing was able to make you overhear the squelching sounds your pussy began to make for Lee.

"You can say you don't like this all you want, but your pussy doesn't lie." He acknowledged, rubbing more before taking one finger and inserting it slowly into your body.

Your eyes snapped open, hands scrambling for purchase at the edge of the car seats and you attempted to drag yourself away from the sudden intrusion, but Lee's grip on you didn't ease and allow you to do so.

"Look at that. You're sucking me right in, sweetheart." He cooed and started moving his thick digit carefully.

He added a second and eventually a third finger, which had you both keening and moaning desperately. You were unable to move your hips, whining softly.

"Please.." The plea that fell from your lips sounded truly tortured and you weren't sure if you were begging for more or to stop at this point.

Spreading all his fingers inside you, Lee expertly moved them around and slipped them in and out of you slowly, taking in all your reactions to his actions.

"Come on, baby. I know you can do it." His voice encouraged you.

When he started rubbing your clit again while moving his fingers and inserting a fourth digit, you couldn't take it anymore.

Rocking back and forth, you fucked yourself on Lee's fingers as much as you possibly could and eventually came with a shuttering breath and wail.

Lee rode you through your high with his fingers, then pulled them out of you and sucked them clean inside his mouth with a dark look inside his eyes. Furthermore, he wrapped them around his hard erection, pumping a few times and groaning, before positioning himself at your entrance.

"Look at you, so ready for me. Just a dumb little girl wanting to get fucked by the Sheriff, hm?" He whispered and all you could do was moan softly in reply, eyes fluttering when he pushed in.

Despite being prepared by four fingers, his penis going in gave you a slight sting and you grimaced. While Lee wasn't exactly long, he was thick, which you now came to notice. As he went further in, his cock reached all the right places among your walls and ridges, causing you to moan again more loudly.

"Lee.." You whispered and he kissed you, heatedly pushing his tongue inside your mouth after a few seconds.

Pulling his hips away a bit, you then gasped against his lips when he pushed further in. Your hands took hold of Lee's hair, before sliding along his body, over his neck to his back.

Groaning deeply, Lee did the same with his hands, grabbing everywhere he could find purchase. His soft tummy pressed into your stomach every time he exhaled, grounding you further into the seats. Hands finding your breasts again, Lee played with your nipples, resting his forehead against yours as he went faster.

"Wanna fill you up. See these get round with milk. Fuck, you'd make a great mother. Always so patient and soft." He told you and you momentarily managed to slip out of the haze you were in.

The panic was written along your face, your voice shaking when you told him: "Lee, no. Please, don't-"

Almost lovingly, Lee smiled and hushed you with a whisper against your lips.

"Don't worry, baby. 'm not gonna do that yet. Wouldn't look good, you being pregnant 'n not married. I gotta wife you up first." - Your eyes went wide at that, but you didn't say anything, as his hands went to your clit and rubbed it again.

With a few more promising words, you finally came for the second time that evening. Shortly after, Lee pulled out and grabbed a Pepsi Cup from the front, spraying his load inside with a loud groan.

Exhausted, both of you remained in the position you were in for a little longer.

That was only the start.

After that encounter, the Sheriff started actually and officially dating you. He wasn't the most romantic man, but he tried his best as he took you out to dates and such.

Whenever you tried ending what was going on, he reminded you that he was the Sheriff and you had your role to play. Then he'd fuck you into obedience fairly quickly.

And to be honest, being Lee's girl wasn't that bad. He absolutely adored you, trying to make you as comfortable as he possibly could and giving you everything you could potentially wish for. You were starting to genuinely enjoy your relationship with the Sheriff.

Until that godforsaken day.

It had started normal, like every other day during the week. You'd gotten ready, served your grandmother and yourself food, and told her goodbye, before going outside where the Sheriff waited for you with the Cruiser. He insisted on driving you to and from work, despite you always telling him it wasn't that far and that you would be fine walking. Reaching the Diner, you kissed each other and then went your separate ways, doing your jobs.

The ordinary day changed drastically when Lee arrived at the Diner later that Noon. Going inside, he placed himself in his regular seat, waiting for you to make your appearance.

And so he waited.

For a minute.

For two minutes.

For five minutes.

After ten minutes without you showing up, Lee grunted impatiently, tapping his fingers against the table.

Fifteen minutes later, he was ready to explode, when Tiffany walked out of the kitchen apprehensively, slowly making her way over to him with obvious fear in her eyes.

Seeing the woman and not his girlfriend, he sat up straight in an instant. Even before she was halfway across the room, he'd stood up and approached her himself.

"Where is she?" He asked without beating around the bush and she shivered at his harsh tone.

"We-We're not sure. She went out for her lunch break a while ago and she should've been back by now, but we can't find her."

Lee could've sworn his whole world stood still at that moment.

"What do you mean you can't find her?" His voice grew louder and attracted the attention of everyone in the Diner. "This place isn't very big, there aren't too many places she could've gone for her lunch break."

Tiffany took a step back at his obvious anger and gulped, before forcing herself to tell him: "Since she started here, she's always spent her lunch breaks at the same time in the same place. But she's not there today."

Lee's heart started wildly beating at that sentence and he willed himself to remain calm.

All red flags stood up to attention in his mind and the worst scenarios went through his head, but he forced them all away and concentrated.

"I'm sorry Sheriff, but she's not here. Maybe she went home to get something and just isn't back yet?" Tiffany quietly suggested and while Lee knew this was just her hoping to get him out of the Diner, he couldn't care less.

"Call the station, if she turns up. Immediately. Understood?" He asked her harshly and she nodded, as he turned around and looked to the people in the Diner that now pretended that they hadn't been listening to anything. "The same goes for all of you. You see her, you call the station immediately!"

After a chorus of "Yes, Sheriff"'s, Lee walked outside, his mind racing.

Where could you possibly be?

Hopping in his cruiser, he drove to your home and knocked on the door, impatiently waiting. After a whole minute or so, the door finally opened to show an elderly lady with a walking stick, clutching her side.

"Excuse me, miss. Do you possibly know where your granddaughter is?" He tried to be as polite as possible, knowing how much your grandmother meant to you and wanting to get on her good side.

"Y/N? She's at work, she's a waitress at the Diner a few streets from here." She told him, observing his distressed demeanor. "Why? What's going on, Sheriff?"

"Nothing, for now, ma'am. Thank you for telling me. I'll let you be then." He told her, walking away quickly, increasingly growing more worried.

You weren't at work. You weren't home. Where could you possibly be?

Inside his car, he checked his radio and phoned the station to ask if anyone had reported seeing you yet. But nothing.

Slowly driving along the roads, Lee went to every and any place he could think of where you ever went. No matter how unlikely it was that you'd be there, he didn't leave any stone untouched.

Time went by way too fast and suddenly it was night. After another visit to your home and confirming with your grandmother you still weren't there, she agreed to file a missing person's case as soon as possible.

Lee drove himself home that evening with the worst feeling ever. Parked in front of his house, he couldn't bring himself to go inside, images of your corpse somewhere flickering across his mind.

Unable to stop himself, Lee grabbed the steering wheel and let a few tears flow.

He wasn't fully crying, for some reason his body didn't allow him to. Instead, small waves of sadness rolled over him and shuddering breaths fled his mouth.

He couldn't help but think of everything that you'd two accomplished together so far and everything he still had planned.

Your smile flashed in front of his eyes, a full-on laugh bubbling out of your throat filled his ears.

Your soft touch traveled across his body, your fingers on his hands, gripping them and telling him you love him for the first time. Your head on his tummy, assuring him you enjoyed it and that it was a lovely part of him. Your heels digging into his back as he fucked you.

Lee now thought of everything he'd planned for the two of you.

A wedding, attended by a couple of colleagues, Sandy, and your grandmother. It wouldn't be huge, but it would be full of love. He'd already started looking for rings.

Moving in together, his house had more than enough space, and he was willing to allow your grandmother to live with the two of you.

One day, he wanted to fill you with babies and become a Daddy. Little munchkins resembling you and him would be running around your house and garden, screaming in joy.

There was still so much the two of you hadn't done, but Lee feared it may never come to that point.

Maybe he was overreacting, maybe you had a plausible reason and were somewhere else, completely alright and unharmed. Or maybe.. you were dead inside some pedo's basement right now or possibly screaming for help.

As thoughts threatened to overcome Lee once again, his radio gave a signal.

"10-39, Bodecker?"

Never before in his life had Lee reached for the radio so fast.

"10-8, Bodecker here. What's going on?"

His heart pumped wildly, as he waited for an answer. When he received the next transmission, he gritted his teeth.

"We've found a woman, fitting the description of the one you're searching for. Badly injured, can't for certain say if it's her, she's unconscious, but we're pretty sure. 10-43, we need an ambulance immediately."

Starting his car, Lee said: "10-20, I need your Location. 10-45, how is she?"

As soon as the officer gave him his address, Lee drove as fast as he could, not caring that he was speeding.

"We found her at the side of the road in a ditch. Several wounds all over her body, possible head trauma, bleeding from various places. Not sure if she'll make it, we don't know for how long she's been in this cold. .. There's also a message on a small note from her attacker."

At that, he sits up straighter, furrowing his eyebrows.

"What's it say?" - ".. You should see for yourself."

His stomach dropped.

On one hand, Lee hoped the person they found wasn't his Y/N. He didn't want her to be in that condition. On the other hand, he just wanted to finally know where she was at all. And badly injured was better than dead.

"Almost there."

As soon as Lee was able to make out the headlights from the other police car, he parked beside it and jumped out, rushing over and inside the ditch where he could see an officer with the body of a woman in his arms. Stopping next to them, he kneeled and inhaled sharply at once.

"It's her, give her to me." - "I'm not sure, I should-"

Before the other officer had a chance to finish his sentence, Lee had forcibly shoved him to the side and taken your body from his hands.

"Fuck, no.." He mumbled, eyes raking over your body impossibly fast and with tears.

The officer had meant it when he'd said badly injured.

You looked barely recognizable, but he would be able to tell it's you even if it had been far worse. Your face was deeply bruised, with several cuts across your cheeks and forehead. Your lips and eyes were swollen, your nose cracked unnaturally to the side. Your hair was greasy and covered in mud and blood, several strands missing like they'd been ripped out. You were still wearing your work uniform, though it had been slashed through and apart, exposing some bad injuries across the rest of your body. Your neck had scrapes that looked like fingers, showing that you'd been choked at some point. There was also a small cut across your throat, but thankfully not too deep. Starting at your breasts, Lee was able to see more and more bruises that resembled fingers. Not a single inch of your skin, from what Lee could see, was not injured or covered in blood.

He forced himself not to cry, having to look strong in front of the other officers, but he just wanted to sob and scream right now.

Cradling your head in his one hand, Lee took your hand in his other and shivered at how cold you were. When he checked for your pulse, he was relieved to feel it, though very faintly and incredibly slow.

"Sweetheart, you're gonna be okay. I promise, you just gotta hold on for me." He whispered quietly, only looking up when an ambulance reached the scene.

Begrudgingly, he gave you in the care of the first responders, knowing they were gonna be able to help you more than him right now.

Staring at the blood in his hands for a second, Lee wiped them on his pants and then snapped his head to the officer who'd phoned him.

"You said there's a message. Give it to me." He demanded and the officer reluctantly pulled a small paper out of his pocket, handing it to him without looking at him.

When Lee unfolded the paper and read the words written, his breath halted.

Some people were born just so they could be buried. Right, Sheriff?

#Lee Bodecker #Lee Bodecker x Reader #The Devil All The Time #Reader #Knockemstiff #Lee x Reader #Bodecker #Sebastian Stan #Hoedecker #featuring that Pepsi cup👀

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esther-dot · 3 years ago

Note

Okay, earlier anon who was recced your asks like Tumblr sometimes tends to do 🙃. Thing is that a large part of your fandom has certain opinions about authorial intent that other people don't agree with, because (and as was clear by your answer to my first ask) it seems that there are double standards with how you guys are approaching characters, so alright. I'm not here to debate about that, your opinion is as valid as other people's, but tbh it's kind of why people tend not to take a lot of you seriously. Again, obviously I recognize that that's not something you are even aiming for, but it feeds into fandom perception of stans always whitewashing their faves and situations that the faves are in, or are connected to. This is something stans of all these characters, Dany, Sansa and Arya are complicit in idk I'm not making a point, but this is what I observed. Also, about the KL theory, it was made popular by a person who twisted the text, literally changed wording, to provide support to his theory and afaik Dany fans do not accept that theory at all, which is why recently there has been a schism between them and BNFs, because the latter are still standing by that essay. No one really thinks burning KL and coming out of it will have any space for redemption (except some BNFs still), and seems like you guys have only a one way understanding of what that part of the fandom thinks, just as they have very limited opinions of Sansa fans. I'm literally a Theon fan so all these characters have my empathy, which is why both sides, to me, look like they are always exaggerating. And as to why you don't think Dany hasn't received immense flak over the years, it's probably because you see her as a villain and would rather have fandom perception shift to that view. But as it stands, BNFs who proclaimed themselves fans for years have peddled theories that not even antis have thought up, so it's not like the Dany fandom had as large a voice to push back because she is an immensely polarizing character. Shipping fights are different because they tend to blow up in any fandom. I have seen similar pushback by Sansa stans in the last few years toward BNFs so it seems like both parts of the fandom are moving in the same direction. Thank you for answering my earlier ask so patiently and sorry for this very long ask. I understand if it's getting irritating.

(Continuation of this convo)

You seem like a very nice person, anon, and I appreciate you trying to point out that we may all have more in common than we think, but I simply can’t agree with you. Everything you’re saying is contrary to my experience. For instance, the idea that the Dany fandom doesn’t have a large voice, that simply isn’t true. I understand that they may feel like underdogs now, but Dany was the most popular character on GoT for years. She had the largest fanbase. And even with people trying to separate/distinguish book v show fans, the fandoms were merged and still overlap, so I just don’t think that claim is true.

As a Sansa fan, I didn’t know anyone in real life who liked her. Tumblr was the only site that had a real Sansa fandom when I was looking around in 2018. Back then, Reddit adored Dany, westeros.org seemed much more interested in the male characters, and on Quora there were people who liked Sansa, but they were outnumbered. The Sansa hate was everywhere, on every positive Sansa post I saw and on any youtube video I watched...it was unrelenting. She had nowhere near the fanbase. Here on tumblr, there was a large enough group that you felt free to really enjoy her. I mean, people still got anon hate/threats, but there were enough people that you could have fun. That wasn’t true in other places.

And, the people who were being nasty were typically Dany or Ary@ stans. I observed it, then I lived it. We are still living it. I’m not sure a week goes by that one of us doesn’t get angry anons. I sometimes get them within minutes of posting because they hate read our blogs/follow our tags for the purpose of harassing us. Kelsey Hayes, the most popular GoT/ASOIAF writer on Quora (for like, a decade running), talked about how horrible the Dany fandom was. Obviously, every fandom has their bad eggs, but she experienced an unrelenting stream of abuse over the course of several years. She had tons of followers and was really popular and respected, but after the show ended she wrote about how awful the Dany stans were. Now, imagine what the average Sansa fan felt during that time. They didn’t have the respect or followers or the platform, but they still got the abuse. Obviously it’s awkward to say you’re a Dany stan now (with the show ending in mind), but the life of a Sansa fan was always hell.

The Sansa fandom has remained active here even while much of the rest of the fandom has quieted down, so we’re more noticeable now, and several of us are Dark Dany enthusiasts which I am sure contributes to Dany stans feeling victimized. So, I can accept that people are upset, but I don’t accept their version of events.

As for not being taken seriously by the fandom, I think they got confused somewhere along the way and thought that the author writing about certain things meant he condoned them, and instead of being willing to think about that possibility, they shut those people out because the alternative is a totally different understanding of the characters and their roles in the story. We will likely never get the last book and be proven right or wrong, so I just stay in my own little corner of the fandom, answer my asks, write my fics, and enjoy myself.

I filter and block liberally, and I encourage everyone to do the same!

#ask dot #<-tag to filter if y'all don't want to see this stuff

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itsclydebitches · 3 years ago

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Here's a quandary I've suddenly found myself in: where do you stand on writers deleting their own works, fanfiction or otherwise? I've had this happen to me on more than one occasion - I go to look for an old favorite and find it's since been deleted from whatever site I read it on.

On the one hand, I'm inclined to think that, "Sure. The author wrote it, it's their call. I don't own the work - I certainly didn't pay for it. It's their decision, even if it's disappointing."

But at the same time I can't help but consider the alternative - if I believe in death of the author (and I do), that an author's work fundamentally isn't solely theirs once it's been published, posted, etc., then it also seems wrong to have a work deleted. Stories aren't the sole property of their creator, after all.

But then I circle back. D'you think there are different obligations between authors and readers and the works being made in fandom space? I know if I had bought a book and the author decided they wanted it back, I would feel pretty comfortable telling them no, given I'd paid for it and whatnot. But that's a different world from fanfic and fandom space generally.

So. You're insightful Clyde, I'm curious as to what you'll have to say here (and to all y'all thinking about it, don't flame me. I haven't decided where I stand here yet - haven't heard a good nail-in-the-coffin argument for or against yet).

Val are you a mind reader now? I’ve been thinking about this exact conundrum the last few days!

(And yeah, as a general disclaimer: no flaming. Not allowed. Any asks of the sort will be deleted on sight and with great satisfaction.)

Honestly, I’m not sure there is a “nail-in-the-coffin argument” for this, just because—as you lay out—there are really good points for keeping works around and really good points for allowing authors to have control over their work, especially when fanworks have no payment/legal obligations attached. In mainstream entertainment, your stories reflect a collaborative effort (publisher, editor, cover artists, etc.) so even if it were possible to delete the physical books out of everyone’s home and library (and we're ignoring the censorship angle for the moment), that’s no longer solely the author’s call, even if they have done the lion’s share of the creative work. Though fanworks can also, obviously, be collaborative, they’re usually not collaborative in the same way (more “This fic idea came about from discord conversations, a couple tumblr posts, and that one headcanon on reddit”) and they certainly don’t have the same monetary, legal, and professional strings attached. I wrote this fic as a hobby in my free time. Don’t I have the right to delete it like I also have the right to tear apart the blankets I knit?

Well yes… but also no? I personally view fanworks as akin to gifts—the academic term for our communities is literally “gift economy”—so if we view it like that, suddenly that discomfort with getting rid of works is more pronounced. If I not only knit a blanket, but then gift it to a friend, it would indeed feel outside of my rights to randomly knock on their door one day and go, “I actually decided I hate that? Please give it back so I can tear it to shreds, thanks :)” That’s so rude! And any real friend would try to talk me out of it, explaining both why they love the blanket and, even if it’s not technically the best in terms of craftsmanship, it holds significant emotional value to them. Save it for that reason alone, at least. Fanworks carry that same meaning—“I don’t care if it’s full of typos, super cliché, and using some outdated, uncomfortable tropes. This story meant so much to me as a teenager and I’ll always love it”—but the difference in medium and relationships means it’s easier to ignore all that. I’m not going up to someone’s house and asking face-to-face to destroy something I gave them (which is awkward as hell. That alone deters us), I’m just pressing a button on my computer. I’m not asking this of a personal friend that is involved in my IRL experiences, I’m (mostly) doing this to online peers I know little, if anything, about. It’s easy to distance ourselves from both the impact of our creative work and the act of getting rid of it while online. On the flip-side though, it’s also easier to demean that work and forget that the author is a real person who put a lot of effort into this creation. If someone didn’t like my knitted blanket I gave them as a gift, they’re unlikely to tell me that. They recognize that it’s impolite and that the act of creating something for them is more important than the construction’s craftsmanship. For fanworks though, with everyone spread around the world and using made up identities, people have fewer filters, happily tearing authors to shreds in the comments, sending anon hate, and the like. The fact that we’re both prefacing this conversation with, “Please don’t flame” emphasizes that. So if I wrote a fic with some iffy tropes, “cringy” dialogue, numerous typos, whatever and enough people decided to drag me for it… I don’t know whether I’d resist the urge to just delete the fic, hopefully ending those interactions. There’s a reason why we’re constantly reminding others to express when they enjoy someone else’s work: the ratio of praise to criticism in fandom (or simply praise to seeming indifference because there was no public reaction at all), is horribly skewed.

So I personally can’t blame anyone for deleting. I’d like to hope that more people realize the importance of keeping fanworks around, that everything you put out there is loved by someone… but I’m well aware that the reality is far more complicated. It’s hard to keep that in mind. It’s hard to keep something around that you personally no longer like. Harder still to keep up a work you might be harassed over, that someone IRL discovered, that you’re disgusted with because you didn’t know better back then… there are lots of reasons why people delete and I ultimately can’t fault them for that. I think the reasons why people delete stem more from problems in fandom culture at large—trolling, legal issues, lack of positive feedback, cancel culture, etc.—than anything the author has or has not personally done, and since such work is meant to be a part of an enjoyable hobby… I can’t rightly tell anyone to shoulder those problems, problems they can’t solve themselves, just for the sake of mine or others’ enjoyment. The reason I’ve been thinking about this lately is because I was discussing Attack on Titan and how much I dislike the source material now, resulting in a very uncomfortable relationship with the fics I wrote a few years back. I’ve personally decided to keep them up and that’s largely because some have received fantastic feedback and I’m aware of how it will hurt those still in the fandom if I take them down. So if a positive experience is the cornerstone of me keeping fics up, I can only assume that negative experiences would likewise been the cornerstone of taking them down. And if getting rid of that fic helps your mental health, or solves a bullying problem, or just makes you happier… that, to me, is always more important than the fic itself.

But, of course, it’s still devastating for everyone who loses the work, which is why my compromise-y answer is to embrace options like AO3’s phenomenal orphaning policy. That’s a fantastic middle ground between saving fanworks and allowing authors to distances themselves from them. I’ve also gotten a lot more proactive about saving the works I want to have around in the future. Regardless of whether we agree with deleting works or not, the reality is we do live in a world where it happens, so best to take action on our own to save what we want to keep around. Though I respect an author’s right to delete, I also respect the reader’s right to maintain access to the work, once published, in whatever way they can. That's probably my real answer here: authors have their rights, but readers have their rights too, so if you decide to publish in the first place, be aware that these rights might, at some point, clash. I download all my favorite fics to Calibre and, when I’m earning more money (lol) I hope to print and bind many for my personal library. I’m also willing to re-share fic if others are looking for them, in order to celebrate the author’s work even if they no longer want anything to do with it. Not fanfiction in this case, but one of my fondest memories was being really into Phantom of the Opera as a kid and wanting, oh so desperately, to read Susan Kay’s Phantom. Problem was, it was out of print at the time, not available at my library, and this was before the age of popping online and finding a used copy. For all intents and purposes, based on my personal situation, this was a case of a book just disappearing from the world. So when an old fandom mom on the message boards I frequented offered to type her copy up chapter by chapter and share it with me, you can only imagine how overjoyed I was. Idk what her own situation was that something like scanning wouldn’t work, but the point is she spent months helping a fandom kid she barely knew simply because a story had resonated with her and she wanted to share it. That shit is powerful!

So if someone wants to delete—if that’s something they need right now—I believe that is, ultimately, their decision… but please try your hardest to remember that the art you put out into the world is having an impact and people will absolutely miss it when it’s gone. Often to the point of doing everything they can to put it back out into the world even if you decide to take it out. Hold onto that feeling. The love you have for your favorite fic, fanart, meta, whatever it is? Someone else has that for your work too. I guarantee it.

So take things down as needed, but for the love of everything keep copies for yourself. You may very well want to give it back to the world someday.

#fandom #fic things #mymetas #never any easy questions on this blog huh? lol

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cyrsed · 2 years ago

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rambling about what i did on friday (went to a meeting with a lot of transphobes) and also my work nemesis

i have this one coworker who i thought Might be trans too before i got a chance to work with her on a project so i was always like... put me on a team with her... but then i did get put on a team with her and it turns out she’s super condescending and passive aggressive so it doesn’t really matter if she’s trans or not hglskdjfkld

coincidentally tho, the team that i joined with her on it on my last project Did have an out trans person on it, so that’s how i met my trans work friend and we how we started a trans work group gjlsdfkj so net positive imo. but i still felt like i was Insane while working with the coworker who’s super passive aggressive, bc everyone else i work with is so nice that i couldn’t tell if i was the only person who was interpreting her as being really condescending ghlskdfj. but no, 1000% she is, i just have trouble trusting myself to accurately interpret people’s intentions.

anyway the point is just that she’s my work nemesis now and on friday i went to the FL meeting for the medical board to draft and vote on their ban on trans youth receiving medical care (didn’t want to say anything before i went bc idk, i was worried about the antis looking through social media to find trans people who were going. but it was absolutely awful, except that i met a bunch of really cool trans people). so i had posted in my work trans group chat about the meeting to be like “ik it’s short notice bc i only found out about it recently but the meeting is happening and here’s where/what’s on the agenda if anyone else can come”. then my trans work friend took that message and on friday they put it in the like, office-wide group chat as well (which i’m glad about, bc i was afraid to do that lol).

the only reason i know (bc i was out on Friday to go to the meeting) is bc i happened to check my notifications and saw my nemesis had responded and was just basically like “i don’t think this kind of activism is effective bc it won’t convince the board to change their mind”, and it’s like. yeah, sure, we won’t change the mind of the board themselves, but it’s also about showing that there are people who oppose the rule, giving our testimony so it’s on record, protesting, and showing support to trans youth/trans people in general, not just trying to debate the medical board into changing their minds (bc most of the board are desantis donors anyway), so even tho i agree that yes, the board most likely won’t change their mind, i can’t imagine what kind of person i’d have to be to see someone asking for help/support on a hugely important issue and my first reaction is to discourage people from participating :T she always has to make a negative comment about everything, and i just don’t get how you could possibly see that as an appropriate response? maybe it doesn’t seem that bad from what i’ve said, but she just Always has a negative comment to make about Everything, and it’s like,, all you had to do was not say something pessimistic/needling, or just not say anything at all if you can’t say something nice.

i’m just especially mad about it bc as much as talking to her always made me feel demoralized on my last project, at least that was just about Code, generally speaking, and not discouraging people from supporting a vulnerable community.

like before the board meeting, i joined this zoom call the night before put on by an lgbt+ organization where they went over what to expect, how to stay safe, what messaging we should focus on at the board meeting etc., and just in that meeting there was a woman who was moved to tears bc of the support of the allies in that One zoom meeting (which probably only had like 20 people in it?). like the meeting hasn’t even happened, and the support of people opposing the rule is already making a difference to real life trans people, and all you can say is “that won’t work”? it feels especially cold given that the person who posted the message in our work chat is also trans. i just can’t fathom what makes someone think that’s an appropriate response to seeing someone bring up a piece of real life discrimination and bigotry without even so much as bringing up an alternative strategy, if you think that the strategy of yknow, showing up to the meeting, won’t work.

imagine if young trans people read about that meeting, and the articles about it all said “it was entirely filled with supporters of the rule”? like what message does that send? as of now, the article i read mentioned specifically that the room was filled /overwhelmingly/ with opposition to the rule, which hopefully communicates to the young trans people who might read about it, or see it or anything, that they’re not alone, and that more people are against this than for it.

sorry for ranting gghsdklfj if you read all of this thank you! i just needed to rant bc it made me so angry and stuff... i’ll probably make a dif post about what hte meeting itself was like

#i do NOT understand people who are that negative all the time #like negative and always making little jabs at other people #why #are you not miserable all the time?

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ssadumba55 · 4 years ago

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DR1 Characters Cheering You Up

A/N: I know this isn’t my typical type of post and idk if I’ll ever make another one like this again (just because it’s so weird to me) but I’m feeling super icky tonight and while I wait for the medicine I took to kick in, I thought I’d write some of my comfort characters cheering reader up. Not every Trigger Happy Havoc character is here, but I can make another one when I’m feeling better if you guys like this! Enjoy!

Leon

“Hey! (Y/n)! Just the person I wanted to see-”

It takes him a moment, but he notices your disheveled appearance. He isn’t sure if it’s something you want brought up, but it startles him

Normally you’re so well put together

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

Even your voice sounds sad, cracked. It’s not the upbeat one he’s so used to hearing

He was going to tell you about some song he had been working on, but now it seems silly

“Do you want to hang out?” he asks instead

He’s relieved when you say yes

The two of you head back to his dorm room

You notice the sheet music spread out all over, covering every spare inch of the dorm room

“Can you play me something Leon?”

He lights up, grabbing his guitar from the corner while you settle on the bed

He plays you the new piece he wrote, glancing halfway through to see you smiling, it warms his heart

He continues to play music and you nod off

He doesn’t notice until he looks over to see what you think

“You probably needed a good rest,” he muses to himself, setting his guitar aside

“Glad I could help.”

Taka

“PDA IS NOT APPROPRIATE IN A SCHOOL ENVIRONMENT!”

You could hear Taka at the end of the hallway, enforcing the rules as always

You shut the door of your locker, feeling that familiar sinking feeling in your stomach

Normally, hearing Taka approaching would fill you with joy, but today it seemed like everything had lost it’s appeal

“Good morning, (Y/n)!”

At some point, while you’d been thinking he’d snuck up on you which was an incredible feat for the loud, boisterous hall monitor

“Hey, Taka...”

Immediately, he knows something’s wrong. You always respond with as much passion as him in the mornings, it was one of the things he loved about interacting with you

The two of you walk to class in silence, you thinking about how long this day was going to be, him thinking about how he could cheer you up

Lunch time came around and you went to join Taka at the table you two frequented

Mondo and Chihiro were there too, which wasn’t too unusual

You set your food down and enjoyed your lunch as best as you could, ready to just finish the day

Mondo and Chihiro left and you were about to get up too when Taka slid a piece of paper across the table

It was folded and in really nice calligraphy it said “Feel Better Soon”

Inside were a bunch of nice messages not only from Taka but the rest of the class

You teared up

“Thank you, Taka!”

You pulled him into a hug and he didn’t yell about PDA (for once. He figured yelling while you were upset wouldn’t be very nice of him)

Chihiro

You and Chihiro were sat together in the library, working together in comfortable silence when your phone went off

You quickly answered it

As you hung up, you felt your whole mood shift because of the news you’d received

Chihiro immediately noticed the shift in mood

She was immediately worried about you

“Is everything okay?” she cautiously asks

You sniffle and she’s taken aback, she’s never seen you cry before

There’s a moment of awkward hesitation as she wonders what exactly she should be doing

Then she shifts her position and wraps her arms around you, hugging you tightly

“It’s okay, (Y/n)... You’ll be okay.”

Part of you wants to shrink or run away, leave Chihiro alone

But having her hug you, comfort you, felt so nice

After a while, you regain your composure

“Thanks, Chihiro. You always know exactly what to say to make me feel better.”

She watches as you pick up your pencil, wiping your eyes and looking down at your work

“Of course. I’m here for you, sometimes the best thing you can do for a person is just be there for them.”

You met her eyes and smiled

Hiro

“(Y/n)! I had a prediction you might be feeling down today!”

Hiro slid into the seat next to yours in the empty classroom

It was the weekend and you were here, sitting with a pencil and glaring at your notes

“I’m stupid, Hiro!”

He’s immediately taken aback

You’ve been crying, your eyes are red and there are tear stains on your cheeks

But that’s not why he’s shocked

He’s shocked because he’s always considered you to be one of the smartest people he knows

You’re definitely a lot smarter than him, but that’s not really saying much

There was no reason someone like you should ever even entertain spending time with someone like him, and yet here you were

He reaches into his bag, pulling out his crystal ball

He makes a show of studying it intently for a moment

“What are you doing?” you sniffle

“Shhhh...”

He hums thoughtfully

“The ball says you’re not stupid.”

Before you could help yourself you let out a loud, shocked laugh

He grins, looking over at you

“You’re an idiot,” you snort between breaths

“But you’re not and that’s all that matters.”

Toko

Toko has never been good at being cheery

She can’t even keep herself happy, never mind someone else

But she sees you alone one day, sitting in the dining hall and she sits across from you

The others hadn’t noticed your distance lately, but she had

Maybe it was because she related to how you were feeling, even if it was a little

You looked up surprised to see someone had joined you

“Fukawa!” You exclaimed in surprise, face heating up slightly. “You don’t have to sit here with me-”

She keeps telling herself that

It’s not her job to cheer you up

She should just go see what Master Togami was up to

But...

“Y- You looked lonely,” she looked down at her food. “D- Don’t start expecting t-this everyday.”

You stared at her for a long moment

Slowly, a slight smile lights up your face

“Well, since you’re here anyway, maybe you could give me some tips on writing..”

She was surprised to see your smile, it was kind of new and surprising to her that someone actually wanted her around

Maybe she would come back, at least tomorrow anyway

Not everyday

(She ends up coming back every day)

(Togami is very grateful to you)

#danganronpa imagines #danganronpa trigger happy havoc #danganronpa x reader #yasuhiro hagakure imagines #chihiro fujisaki imagines #leon kuwata imagines #kiyotaka ishimaru imagines #toko fukawa imagines

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mariaiscrafting · 3 years ago

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You know, what think I like when you are critical of a content creator is that you know how to separate a fact from especulation, unlike a blog out there that took especulation as facts.

Example, that night when we were critical of Karl, or any instance you have discussed about him, a lot of anons were saying that he gave them clout chaser vibes to them, and despite your opinion, you expressed that those were only especulation and not the truth, and to keep that in mind. That's good critical thinking.

But this blog had some similar anons, saying that he only is friends with the Feral Boys gro clout- In fact, they said the Feral Boys were only in it to benefit from clout and money. And they took it as a truth. I know you instance on them is neutral, but come one, they are friends. All of them. Karl isn't friends with them for clout. Like today Karl was playing golf with salad gang plus Sapnap and George at first and then Quackity and Dream joined bc they had spared time and it all devolved into typical chaos (Poor Corpse and Tina and Brook, had to endure those children lol/lh /j). Like, the stream wasn't planned with the 5/5 yet they joined, missing Karl and just having fun.

Idk, I guess that blog's superiority (They were a SBI focused blog) just irritated me. It's as if they were putting both groups at each other as if those streamers aren't friends or close. They were singing prayers of one while shunning the other based from especulation. Criticissism is fine, in fact recommended to be critical of your interests, but taking rumors as facts to base your crit is yikes. It's as if I wanted to crit SBI and base it only of "Philza hanging only with people younger than him is kinda weird ngl.." or "Sbi doesn't care about Tommy cuz he joined late" like that dumb Tumblr post did or some fuckers in Twitter imply.

The main reason I take so much care to separate speculation from evidence-backed theories and confirmed truths is because I feel like that separation is what distinguishes us from mcyttwt the most. One of the main reasons for mcyttwt's toxicity, imo - for its relentless cancelling of everyone, for its bandwagon campaigns - is that people oftentimes criticize and defend based on their personal feelings rather than rationale or evidence.

For example, I complain a lot about Dream stans on here, but you know the reason I didn't stop watching Dream directly after the cheating scandal broke loose, even though I thought he cheated? Because of mcytblr Dream stans. Mcytblr Dream stans engaged with me in discussion, both publicly and in DMs, about the cheating scandal, and even those who eventually came to the conclusion that Dream didn't cheat accepted the facts and statistics they were given and kept a healthy skepticism throughout the process. On Twitter, Dream stans were defending him before he even made a video following up to the mods' initial accusations because they felt that Dream wasn't the kind of guy to lie or cheat. They were replying to screenshots of statistical analyses from subreddits and to articles from mathematicians and staticians with extremely reactionary responses because of that feeling, which they believed in so adamantly, they had accepted it as fact. The thing is, to believe that Dream didn't cheat in the face of all the statistical and rhetorical evidence to the contrary is, in itself, speculative. Usually we think of speculation as a baseless theory that something is a positive truth- that is to say, that something did happen. But speculation also applies to those theories of someone not having done something, when the opposite has been nearly proven to be true.

For this same reason, I chose not to ignore the anti-technotwt threads with screenshots of Techno's old tweets in them. For me to have simply ignored these screenshots and continued supposing that Techno never expressed bigoted beliefs and/or currently doesn't would have been speculative on my part, and to boot, blatantly wrong, given the evidence to the contrary.

People in this fandom, and in all RPF/RPF-adjacent fandoms need to understand that almost everything they believe about the CCs they watch is speculative, at least to some extent, because of the nature of the content they make. Even if someone, in your opinion, displays evidence of some aspect of their personality - whether that be some form of bigoted, sweet, rude, clout-chasing, or anything else - because of the extremely one-sided nature of sharing one's life through a screen, that theory of ours will almost alwyas only ever be speculation, not a solid conclusion that can be drawn. We will never know these people's true intentions behind something shared to us via the Internet.

That vagueness leads to virtually every viewer creating a different theory in our heads about the CCs we watch, and we can't treat those theories as facts, especially not when sharing them with the rest of a fandom. I'm not a very big blog, but I consider even over 50 followers to be way too many people to spread a theory too, without at least clarifying that what I'm posting is speculation. If I have evidence, I like to list it or, if I can, provide sources; but otherwise, I take care to qualify most things with phrases or disclaimers that will clue followers into the speculative nature of whatever it is I'm saying. This is because theories and "feelings" can blaze through a fandom like wildfire, especially somewhere like Twitter, where so many things are word-of-mouth or based on summary due to character limitation.

You know why mcyttwt was cancelling Andi? Only a handful of original Tweeters under the cancel Andi hashtags actually knew what clips or tweets to criticize her for, or tried to elaborate on that criticism. But because every other mcyttwt user was getting bombarded by their mutuals hate-posting about Andi on their TLs, the "negative feeling" towards Andi grew and grew, even if most people didn't even know what they were supposed to feel negative about, exactly. Our judgement works on a quick trigger on the Internet because of the amount of information we're receiving, and so, even a single bad word against someone you don't have too strong of an opinion on can fundamentally alter your perception of them, usually subconsciously. If the first thing you see about Andi, who you've only seen on a couple LOH's or a couple Punz streams before then, is a tweet along the lines of, "disappointed in Andi for her homophobia and joking about suicide," despite you having no context, you will most likely be pushed to the negative side of her. Thus begins the cycle of hatred, building up and up, leading to you searching for more and more criticism about Andi, whether speculative or not, until you solidly and genuinely believe she is a Horrible Person. It all starts with the vaguest fucking feeling, because that's all speculation has to go off of, and it snowballs into a fucking wildfire across an entire fandom. I'm not about to be another person to let feelings snowball and spread like that.

Now, I don't know what exact blog you're referring to, but as an adamant SBI enthusiast, let me flip the argument many SBI stans have for their speculation upon the genuity of Karl's friendship with the Feral Bois, onto SBI. What do we have to go off of for the genuity of SBI's friendship, anyways? Our perceived brother dynamic between Tommy and Wilbur could very well just be Tommy capitalizing on Wilbur's brand and continuing the charade until now because it's been profitable. Maybe Techno only continues to associate with SBI because he knows how much his fanbase likes headcanon'ing about SBI, so he puts up with streams with them so he can continue to feed his fanbase with dynamics he knows they're obsessed with. Maybe Phil would rather play MC with people his age, and actually dislikes that he's friends with a teenager, but sticks around because he profitted so much off of Dream SMP and SBI-related content. And what could any SBI stan have to argue with me on any of these theories? Just because SBI laughs around each other and seems fond of each other doesn't mean they're actually like that behind the cameras. They so seldomly stream or make videos together anymore, anyways, so maybe they've grown tired of keeping up the dynamic.

Everything I said could be interpreted as utter bullshit, and that's because it fucking is. I don't actually know what Techno wants to do with his life, or how Wilbur and Tommy actually feel about each other, or who Phil wants to fucking befriend. The same goes for Feral Boys. There's nothing wrong with stating your theories or speculation, but to treat them as fact or not at least qualify such posts with the fact that this is all based on your bias and opinion, and no substantive evidence, is irresponsible. Just because you feel like one or more of the Feral Boys is "clout-chasing" doesn't mean you have the right to tout that feeling as truth. I feel a lot of things about a lot of CCs, both negative and positive, but no matter how strong my feelings, unless they have substantive evidence backing them up, I have no right to treat them as facts with my followers.

#anyways this kinda went everywhere but oh well #discourse #fandom critical #karl jacobs #feral boys #mcyt #asks #uhhh yeah this isnt neg to any cc just to the way fandom will treat them

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thatsjustrwde · 4 years ago

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For the RWBY character prompt thing: you gotta tell me about Ironwood for sure! And if somebody already asked, how's about Qrow? :)

OH BABEY A DOUBLE (I’m gunna put Qrow in a separate post to avoid making this too long) thank you so much!

Warning: This is a PRO IRONWOOD POST. I also go into team RWBY taking responsibility for their abuse towards Ozpin. Don’t read this if you don’t like it. You’ve been warned

My top three two ships for Ironwood

1) Ironqrow (Ironwood x Qrow) {Volumes 3-7}

I have loved the idea of these two since the fall of beacon. When they first interacted, I wasn’t too sure about them because it seemed like they didn’t really like each other.. but that scene where all the robots were turning on beacon and Qrow spotted ironwood, ran at him with his scythe, only to jump over him and save him from a Grimm, sold the ship to me. It was clear that they didn’t actually despise each other. Qrow wasn’t quick to point fingers; he knew that what was going on wasn’t James’ fault, and he even tried to add a little bit of comic relief to the scene. (When ironwood’s ship fell, and Qrow smirked “well, it won’t be much of a walk”)

My love for the ship was reinforced in v6 (yeah I know it was the fan service volume but I’m rolling with it anyway). Qrow knew that they HAD to get to ironwood in order to complete their goal. He trusted James, and he knew that he was a smart and capable leader who would know what to do (ah,, the good old days ;;)

And then in the early episodes of v7, their bickering that we once saw in v3 was non existent. They were happy to see each other, and James even initiated a hug. He was just so relieved to see him ;; it made my heart melt, I remember posting about this moment so much, all over instagram and tumblr. I loved them so dearly.

2) Ironwood x Glynda (idk if they have a ship name)

God,, I always loved them. that scene in v2 with Ironwood and Glynda standing together in the dead of night looking over the city of vale was so special to me. I love Glynda and her character, she is so dynamic. that scene with her and ironwood showed to us that she truly respected and cared for him and his well-being. She was worried for him as well. I just wish they had more interactions before his death. they would have been very sweet and POWERFUL together.

My three least favourite ships for Ironwood

1) Ironqrow {Volumes 7-8}

Oh boy. RT really knows how to take something good and just, ruin it huh.

I feel as though I don’t need to dive too deep into this (as I’ll be covering Ironwood’s fall from grace later) but yeah... The fight with Qrow and Clover was.. unfortunate. Everyone seemed to lose their braincells in that scene, and the moment it was over, Qrow was dead set on killing Ironwood for some reason even though he was the one who decided to side with a literal murderer, but go off MKEK you really did something there...

Yepp this absolutely killed the ship for me in canon (though I stilln love thinking about them out of the canon setting), I was an absolute wreck after this scene. they deserved better.

2) Ironwood x Winter

don’t worry I’m not about to pull the “IRONWOOD WAS AN ABUSIVE FATHER FIGURE AND GROOMED HER CAREERRHYUGGHR” no.

I always saw Ironwood as a POSITIVE father figure to winter, even before v7. We knew that winter was one of his best soldiers, and was most likely one of his students before then. I believe that Ironwood gave winter a chance at something great, to leave her actual abusive father and hone her skills as a soldier instead of becoming the heiress to a company that she did not want to be tied to. I believe Ironwood was a stellar father figure and role model to her, and that is the reason why I do not ship them. their relationship was so much deeper than that. it was found family.

3) Ironwood x Salem

What the fuck. Like actually what? This was a thing? What is it with this fandom and glorifying abusive relationships... I remember seeing a lot of people trying to justify it like “awh salem was so sweet with him she just wanted him to stop fighting. She would leave him alone after!!” Thats manipulation honey, we don’t fuck with that here. no. Absolutely not

My biggest criticism for Ironwood

See: the reason I made this side blog

It’s no secret to us in the RWDE community that his fall into the role of the villain was POORLY WRITTEN AND WE ALL HATE IT SO FUCKING MUCH. where the hell did this even come from? oh I know! TEAM RWBY LYING TO HIS FACE AFTER HE WAS NOTHING BUT KIND AND GENEROUS TO THEM. god I’m heated already.

I’ve talked about his stupid semblance before but it doesn’t even matter because his semblance wasn’t the cause of his descent anyway. We were all HOPING that it was but nope! it was him “losing his humanity” because he lost his other arm. How fucked up is that.

Shitty writing aside, I know James had flaws even before the shitshow that was v7-8, but honestly there was nothing he did that I can criticize harshly. He was a good and honest man with good intentions and a pure, big heart made of gold. Of course he made mistakes and of course he wasn’t perfect, but he was always trying to do the right thing to protect the people. He was a good man until MKEK decided they needed a reason to kill off another headmaster.

My favourite thing about Ironwood

his MUSCLES

His willingness to sacrifice himself to save others. During the fall of beacon he told the students that they didn’t have to stay, even though he could have used the help greatly. But he KNEW that they weren’t ready to handle a crisis like this, and he didn’t want to force them into a responsibility that could have left them emotionally/physically damaged, or worse.

During the Ironwood and Watts fight, IRONWOOD MANGLED HIS OWN ARM TO CAPTURE WATTS. He was so headstrong and brave and he wanted to do everything he could to prevent Salem, even if that meant hurting himself and losing another part of himself. God I miss him so much ;; I’m tearing up a little writing all of this...

A head canon I have for Ironwood

I love creating head canons for characters, it always makes them feel more real to me. one of my biggest head canons is that, in a peaceful world setting, he would enjoy sleeping in on the weekends. ;;. He is a headmaster AND a general which means he has to follow a strict schedule all the time. Maybe this is coming from my desire to take care of him and make sure he is happy and healthy and not stressed out.. But yeah, lazy Sundays, sleeping in late. pls let him sleep he needs so much sleep. What I would change about Ironwood if I were making a rewrite

Strap in kiddos I’ve been thinking about this for a very long time. I’m sure that someone has come up with a similar concept, but I will share my ideas anyway (: I am going to preface this by saying that for this rewrite to work, we need to have Winter receive the Winter maiden powers from Freya in V7. To start, we will have to go back all the way to v2 when Ironwood was first introduced. I would have Ozpin and Glynda share their concerns to each other about Ironwood bringing all of his ships to look over the festival, but I would take that time to thoroughly explain his semblance. His semblance is stupid, so I would make some changes. To start off, I wouldn’t make it passive. The way it is now is just,, a weird way to give him a mental illness without actually giving him a mental illness. Activating it would have to be a decision that he made if he knew that he had to make decisions that would be hard for him. This way if his semblance caused him to do something actually horrible, he would be directly accountable for it, instead of blaming him for something that he couldn’t control. Semblances are a representation of the user, so with time and with more stress put onto Ironwood, I could see him falling victim to his own semblance if he were to abuse it too much. This will help as we lead into a better way to write his fall from grace.

From there, I would keep pretty much everything the same until we get to v7. Team RWBY arrives in Atlas and gets arrested and brought to Ironwood just as they do in canon. This time, however, we have Oscar explain EVERYTHING. No lying. Salem cannot be killed. Oscar explains that Ozpin shut himself off after team RWBY forced the truth out of him, and while the truth is a lot for Ironwood to handle, he understands why Ozpin kept it a secret. He shuns team RWBY for their methods and explains why their actions were unnecessary and abusive, but agrees to help them anyway since he knows that they all need to come together if this is going to work. Hence, his arc kind of goes backwards. Instead of team RWBY having his trust from the beginning, they will need to work to gain it back.

He takes Oscar under his wing to try and draw Ozpin back out. He greets Qrow, they fall in love, he also formally introduces the team to the Ace Ops. The Ace Ops take an IMMEDIATE backseat in the story. We don’t need more characters. For the sake of this rewrite specifically, they are barely around. We are focusing on Ironwood and his growth/relationships. I would explore more times to show the deep connection between him and Winter. As I said earlier, I see him as a healthy father figure for her, so I would definitely focus on that for a bit. At this point, Winter would not have received the maidens power yet, so we could have a scene of him assuring her that she is a perfect fit for the role, and encouraging her and just,, you know, solidifying that he wasn’t pressuring her into doing it.

Carrying on with the main plot, instead of being left in the dark for the whole season, Ironwood is already aware that Salem cannot be killed. This gives him and the rest of the team a lot of time to work on a new plan to defeat her. They spend lots of time training, Ironwood takes care of them, offering his resources to them. Overtime the team do start to gain his trust little by little again, but this will all kinda fall apart when Salem arrives.

With stress levels higher than ever, he activates his semblance. Team RWBY and friends KNOW about his semblance and they understand why he is acting irrationally. Maybe they have different ideas than him, but they would not directly oppose him. This completely fixes him from becoming a cartoon villain. Team RWBY and friends would work WITH Ironwood at a distance to fix amity and get global communications back up safely. From there, Ironwood could deliver a message to the world about Salem. Since people know who he is, it will make the message more impactful. Just like he did with his message to Mantle.

Qrow and Winter are positives in his life. They keep trying to ground him and bring him back to reality, but he will not deactivate his semblance. He is too scared of what’s to come with Salem. They support him in this, and do not turn their back on him.

Winter receives the maiden’s power, and is told to open the vault to obtain the staff and raise atlas further into the sky to save his people. Winter agrees, why wouldn’t she? They have already evacuated most of mantle to atlas anyway. In situations like this it’s impossible to save everyone. RWBY could whine and bitch if they wanted to, but there is nothing they could do in this situation because, for the sake of this rewrite, they wouldn’t be as stupid as they are in the canon proper.

The vault is open and the staff is vulnerable. It is in this moment that the ACTUAL VILLIAN comes into play. Watts took advantage of the security from behind the scenes, giving Salem the exact time that the vault was open. And thanks to him overhearing everything, he knows that all she needs to do is use the staff, and Atlas will fall. Salem appears in the room, and the big finale battle would occur. They weren’t ready yet. They hadn’t finalized the plan to stop her without killing her. Team RWBY Oscar and Qrow would do their best to keep Salem distracted while Winter and Ironwood speak to the staff. Meanwhile, Neo could breach Ironwood’s office and retrieve the relic of knowledge for Salem.

The battle plays out, she keeps coming back, the team gets tired, Salem loses her patience and just PLOWS through them to get to the staff. She enters the realm and the mystical world around them begins to shatter and break. With that much concentrated evil in this place coming up out of nowhere, it would be sure to shift the balance.

She goes head to head against Winter and Ironwood for the staff. She knows that using the staff will cause Atlas to come crashing down, so that is exactly what she does. Since he is already out, she just gives him a command. It doesn’t matter what it is. Atlas starts to fall. She strikes a lethal blow to Ironwood (Keeping the theme of her killing headmasters) and flees with the staff. Qrow runs to his side, he and winter are crying, Team RWBY is upset, OZPIN IS UPSET. With his aura broken and his semblance down, he smiles at them all, says that he is proud of them for their work and he knows that they will find a way to defeat her. He tells them to get out and save themselves, save as many people as they can. They do that, but for further angst, Qrow stays with him, holding him and crying against him as Atlas falls. Team RWBY use the gravity dust keeping Atlas falling slowly to their advantage. They get as many people as they can into airships and send them to mistral. They then make their own way to Vacuo... Since global communications are back up, the world would know about this. This would give Shade academy a good chance to prepare. (damn I could write a fic)

What I think of Ironwood’s allusion and what I would change.

It’s dumb the way that CRWBY has portrayed it. In the story of the Wizard of Oz, the tin man doesn’t have a heart, but learns to love overtime. I used THIS aspect for helping my rewrite of Ironwood. He was hardened at the beginning, but managed to trust again and eventually smiled and said that he was proud of team RWBY and friends in his dying moments. It’s just more impactful that way I think.

#long post #ironwood #pro ironwood #ironqrow #rwde #rwby crit

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atomicblasphemy · 3 years ago

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Why I don’t think Amity is looking forward to a date with Luz in the human realm.

There’s a good chance I’ll be alone in this opinion but anyway, I never took tumblr or fandom from a scholarly point so yeah.

Anyway, I agree that the idea of a cute romantic date with Luz in the human realm being a big part of Amity’s motivation in the last episode is objectively adorable. But I have three reasons why that may not be quite the case.

Reason number one, the scoring of the scene. After Amity’s boss leaves and they part their hug of sorts throwing a blush fest, the soundtrack goes to this very mellow (and from my rusty knowledge of music theory, major scale) score while they have that bookworm talk. Then, when Amity says “the human realm sounds odd” there’s also what sounds like a major scale chord right before it cuts to silence as Luz suggests showing her around the human world. And that’s, as she is processing what her soon to be girlfriend just said there’s this high and dissonant chord, most likely minor scale, and i’m almost positive it has the same base note as the previous one. This feels deliberate.

The minor scale is used as a means to convey tension, to unsettle the viewer or listener. Case in point, more upbeat music genres like pop punk or house tending to make a more constant use of the major scale, whereas bleaker genres like post-punk or black metal are heavily based of the minor scale. More over in soundtracks we can point out jaws or psycho’s scores as examples of the use of the minor as a means to either raise tension or to set a scene or movies tone (think psycho’s shower scene, or the moments in jaws’ when the shark is just about to attack). Meanwhile, you can have star wars’ major scale as a means to set the optimistic tone Luke’s hero’s journey starts with (which again, contrasts greatly with its counterpart in the imperial march).

So, back to Lumity, we have this sequence of sounds: Luz all but invites Amity to the human realm, major chord, silence, minor chord, “we’re getting that diary”. There’s a rising action of sorts at play here, as far as I can tell: Luz tries to cheer up Amity (hence the more calming and uplifting major chord), Amity process this newly found connection between herself and the human realm (silence), this troubles Amity for whatever reason (which comes back later, but i’ll get to that) (hence the minor chord).

If Amity’s outlook on this new relation between herself Luz’ homeland was simply that of “holy shit, my crush just asked me out. hell yeah.” the use of the minor scale would be probably the worse to go about doing that. Moreover:

Reason number b:

Mittens’ first face: blank space. Amity.exe ceased all functioning. (this is when the minor chord is played btw.) This first face is the one the fandom latched on to the most, and yeah i get it.

But then things take a turn:

Those are the two other expressions she makes immediately aftewards that more confused one (also, idk what is going on but i can’t screenshot on a full screen for whatever reason).

Now, we are collectively well aware, as a fandom, of the fact that when the human girl’s existence flusters Amity her very white complexion’s tomato like properties are bound to manifest. If anything we could this episode the blushapalooza, and on both ends. But I digress.

My point here is, if it was simply her being excited over the prospect this date in the human realm, there’s no reason why they (the show runners, i.e. the ones responsible for this world’s overarching intentionality) would turn her into a vegetable once again, I mean, just second prior she was going full on tomato mode. Couple that with that sketchy chord progression and I think it is safe to say our little Mittens is acting a wee odd herself here. If it was just the sound score or just the lack of tomato, then I’d say it was probably just happenstance. Both those things at once fell like a deliberate creative choice. In other words, my guess is that Amity’s weird response here is setting up the tone for some upcoming conflict between the two of them, it is building up to the mid-season finale. (I have my theories as to what that conflict would be but I’ll get to that when I get to that).

Now, reason number gamma. “Being around you makes me do stupid things and I wish it didn’t” “Ever since Luz came here everything’s been so confusing.” Look, I’m not so dumb as to say those words don’t represent Amity coming clean about her feeling for Luz, and I’m not oblivious as to believe the vagueness of these statements is but a poorly veiled attempt on her part of airing those feeling in an as uncompromising fashion as possible. However, that’s the thing about vagueness, you can easily pick up on connotation but not so much on denotation. What I mean is that you can’t really tell what is the entirety of her cause to confusion and what the full set of Luz related stupid things done by Amity really is. And looking back to those second and third sketchy Amity faces and given all I’ve said, my best guess is that those are the faces of someone coming to the sinking realization that “despite my best intentions I may, perhaps, possibly, likely have fucked up big time.” And do I know how good a motivator doing damage control after a big time fuck up can be.

Which brings me finally to what her hang up really is. Those letters. Going by the same “methodology” I’ve been using thus far, here’s how we learn Camilla had been receiving those letters: first we see Amity’s note, “everybody’s doing the wholesome waltz, throw your crush in the air and have a ball”, we see the other half of the note which only says “Luz” (which mind you, is a word that also appears with loads of prominence in the letters). Then a few moments afterwards we see the actual letters, similar handwriting as evidenced by the writing of Luz’s name, and worded as what a misguided and inexperienced kid would imagine a healthy mother and daughter relationship to sound like. Again, those feel extremely deliberate choices on the show’s creators part. Not everything in a show has to be a Tchekov’s gun, but when you draw so much attention to it in such a calculated way it gets tough to argue for it not being so. So yeah, my money is on Amity being the author of the letters and that means she has a deeper knowledge of inter-dimensional postal services than she’s letting on. Either she has access to some sort of device capable of transporting small objects, or a means to create a fac-simile of a document on the other side, or she has a full blown portal.

I mean, it’s safe to say her feeling towards Luz started getting a tad muddy after the covention, and said confusion kept on progressing until it came to a height with Amity’s conversation with Emira on the last episode. So Emira points out she should embrace the changes brought about by Luz and try to be happy. And that’s what her hairdo change (she explicitly says the past choice was Odalia’s making), and the peck on the cheek symbolize. She’s embracing change, she’s actively pursuing it. I mean, at the end of the day that peck on Luz’s cheek was nothing short of Amity crossing the threshold (even if impulsively) of their relationship, that’s why she doesn’t blush while she’s doing it. She’s being guided purely by Emira’s words there, it is only when the reality of the threshold being crossed and that there’s no coming back to how things were before that she goes back to tomato while muttering “why did i do that?” So yeah, second thing I wanted to say that Lumity is already cannon, their relationship is now a romantic one, there’s no two ways about it.

AAAnd this is why I thing the letters thing will be the big conflict of the mid-season finale.

Let’s shift perspectives to Luz’s end. So you have this kid, right? This kid that has been, throughout her entire life been given reasons to believe in her own mediocrity, which in turn led her to find solace in fantasy. Then, by an odd turn of cosmic events she is granted a chance to experience said fantasy first hand. However, at first it seems this new world is making chorus to that old one in stating her mediocrity. She doesn’t give in, she perseveres, she proves everything and everyone wrong. From “Eda’s human pet” she turns into “Miss Teacher”, from “Willow’s Abomination thingy” she becomes someone who “sneaks her way into people’s hearts.” She sees everything she wanted, her wildest dreams of both self-accomplishment and love being dangled right in front of her eyes. Yet, in the back of her head there’s this nagging voice screaming at her that reality, and a mother that loves her and misses her are awaiting her. That this happiness. So when Amity crosses the threshold of their relationship, when the person she wants shows her she wants the same thing as her, elation is not the only thing going through her mind and her heart. Being forced to choose between what you want and what you ought to is quite a cruel position to find oneself in.

So this leads up to the mid-season finale, say I’m right, Amity has a portal and she offers it to Luz. In one hand, her girlfriend omitted a very important piece of information from her, which could be seen by her as an argument for her choosing the human realm, thus creating a source of conflict between the two of them (which no, I don’t think it would make them break up, in fact I have 5 reais saying the L word will be dropped by either one of them because of all that, their relationship will come out of all this turmoil stronger than before), moreover, I’m of the opinion that Amity’s motives for writing those letters in the first place would be to do something nice for that confusing entity (by giving her mother some piece of mind) while remaining incognito. Hell, my ideal scenario would beher coming clean to Camilla about impersonating Luz with something along the lines of “Yeah mate, you were expecting Luz but it was I, Amity, all along. Sorry about that. In my defense I have next to no idea what a non dysfunctional family looks like.”

But that’d be only half of it. Creepy Luz is, for all we know, what Luz would perceive as the best version of herself, one that’s capable of making her mother happy. In other words, a figure that highlights further how inadequate she is in the human realm. And she is still confused with everything going on back in the demon realm. Not to mention the possible looming threat to human realm represented by the emperor, about which we thus far have very little to speculate on.

My point is, in conclusion, Luz will need some hugs afterwards. And so will Amity. Fortunately they fulfill eachother’s need in that regard.

Hope this wasn’t complete non-sense, cheers!

#THE OWL HOUSE #amity blight #luz noceda #camila noceda #lumity

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alias-b · 4 years ago

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Idk if you're done this already but you did it for your other couples, can we get a nsfw alphabet for Billy and Evie? Pretty pretty please💘

Oh my gosh!! You’re right, I haven’t done one for them!! Well let’s fix that right now, shall we?? And I’ll try to make it different from the Billy/Cam one but Billy is still Billy lol Okay! So here goes.

Dirty Alphabet for Billy Hargrove and Evie Fenny! My lovely plus size oc xoxo Thank you so much for asking!! 📌💝🍓💝

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Evie isn’t used to being touched so abrasively and Billy is the overstimulation king!! She might get a little shy in the lazy post-sex haze as everything sets in, but they’ll sorta of curl into each other and cling bc they’re both super overwhelmed and unable to look at each other sometimes.

She tries to hold Billy a lot and it takes him some getting used to bc he’s conditioned to sexual and violent touch only. Billy is a Super Tease and will run his fingertips and mouth over her skin bc his girl is Extra Sensitive and he loves the way she whines and shivers and squirms. Chances are he’ll try to initiate another round.😘

After being together a bit, it’ll be easier to deal with all the emotions and spoon afterward tho! Evie will start to cover his face, neck, and chest in kisses and he’ll mirror it until they’re twisting together and curling up to sleep. Stage five clingers.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Evie’s been caught staring at Billy’s muscled thighs....a lot. So LOWKEY them. She loooooooves to straddle his big hard thigh and maybe ride it during make outs. He’s all encouragement. Also his hands are to DIE for and his sensitive neck. Prime kissy places for Evie to ravish him and it always catches him off guard.

Billy actually has trouble choosing as he gets to know her body, he loves to just look at her and run his hands along all her soft curves and make her feel like a goddess bc she deserves it. As much as he loves being flashed, Billy is a hips/ass guy. Loves to grab her and dig his fingers into her skin and position her however he likes. Loves to also rest his cheek on her inner thigh when he’s teasing as they’re lying together. Also likes to spank and pinch her tushy anytime he likes. Esp in public she she gets all squealy and red in the cheeks.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Billy is so gross. We’ll start there.

Boy will cum on her tits and lick it off and massage her flesh and gather it to make her suck it off his fingers too. He’ll eat her out after coming inside her and let her p much spit into his mouth after she blows him.

He does not give a Fuck. Also seeing his cum leak out of her when she’s all fucked out and wet and puffy...that’s hot. He will cum on anything and he wants to blow his load on her tits so bad. He also doesn’t like to wash his hands after fingering her and will spend time after just licking his digits clean. He grOSS.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Evie thinks about Billy fucking her in public places a lot when they’re out and about and she will NEVER admit to how much she thinks about sex with him even in their early days when they quarreled lol

Billy doesn’t keep a lot of dirty secrets bc he’s just gonna tell Evie his every depraved thought. But!! He wants to make nasty porn with her so bad. Photos esp so he can keep her in a little box in his dresser maybe with something she wore once that was lacy. He wants pics of her in lingerie. Naked. Spread. Fucked. Every which way. The boy will pay for it.

***Also.....he has a couple explicit fantasies he doesn’t share.... One having to do with just gross “i caught you, now I get to fuck you as hard as I want” sex between them. Another and the bigger one...I think he fantasized once about her pegging him.....and being dominating him super hard by Evie. He wants to be bratty af and have her to step on him basically.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Billy has Mucho Experience. Almost too much to the point of he has to work harder to figure out what Evie likes and get out of his head lmao Evie has had a few past relationships and she likes sex and is getting more comfortable with it so there isn’t a huge difference!!

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Billy likes to be on top bc he’s such a show off. He doesn’t know this about Evie yet but....she also wants to be on top bc she’s a control freak. So that’ll be funny when they actually get down to bizness. But, I think Billy later learns quick that watching her ride him is so hot. Gripping her hips and bucking to meet her and sitting up to bit her neck or suck titty. Ooohh, he’ll adore it.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

They laugh a lot!! In heated moments of emotion, they’ll go quiet and serious, but Billy and Evie both like to have fun during sex. They like to joke and roll around. Billy is a pornstar who NEVER shuts up so he’s spinning dirty lines and she’ll roast him for it.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Carpet and drapes match! Billy is expertly groomed and trimmed nicely. He looked pretty and golden and immaculate down there. Annoying. Evie actually does some trimming and what not to look cleaner down there, but she’s hairier than him and he doesn’t mind! They’re both all about hygiene and perfumes and lotions and oils so they’re p fresh all the time. Although, I’m p sure Evie will complain when she blows him and tastes his cologne and tells him to ease up on that lmao

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Billy is superrr into body worship which just gives Evie crazy whiplash. He takes time to marvel at her and appreciate her and she’s NOT used to that and gets super blushy and almost can’t look at him. Being a bigger girl, she’s still on that self comfort journey and he’s happy to assist! He’s super grabby and touchy and they both are all about kissing everywhereee.

On Evie’s end, she gets so soft with him and he’s overwhelmed a lot by that. Her kissing his wrists and cheeks and holding him. Massaging him and running her fingers down his back. Billy really needs time to get used to it and she’s fine with that.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Hell yeah. They actually love to watch each other get off. Phone sex was the tip of the iceberg. Although, Billy does say that if he had it his way, she wouldn’t get herself off and instead she’d come to him and let him make her come when she wants it. Possessive boi.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

It startles her at first, but Evie looooves when Billy picks her up and drags her all over the bed. She didn’t think he could and he took that as a dare to heart and he lifts more and she feels his muscles BULGE and loves it. Watching him work out super turns her on and they usually end up having gross sex before he can finish if she’s there to watch. Which Billy loves being watched by her xx He’s gonna eat her out on that weight bench too, mark my words.

He also, as mentioned before, has a Super praise kink. He’s goal is to make Evie louder in bed. He wants her to talk too & maybe order him around a bit. He loves being on his knees, pushing her skirt up, holding her thighs in place before he starts to teasingly eat her while she still as her panties on. Also bonus points if they’re being sexual and teasy in a public or semi public spot.

Also Billy wants to fuck her tits so bad. I said it sorta before, but I’m saying it againnnn.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Billy: Anywhere. Literally anywhere. I don’t give a Fuck. 💦

Evie gets more adventurous with him, but she likes just being in an empty house so they can be loud. Lowkey, I think Billy enjoys the thrill of someone being home bc it’s cute watching Evie try to be quiet while he pleasures her. He might help her out by stuffing his fingers in her mouth *wink wink*

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Billy is always revved up tbh. Seeing Evie do anything, he can make it sexual. It’s the Brain Sex Rot. Evie starts to feel it in the air if he keeps just looking intently at her. They eye fuck a lot.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Evie is okay with being held down but no like ropes or anything. Neither will be spanked by belts. Hands only. Billy will never hit her in the face too and she wouldn’t be into that either. Also Evie’s never ever gonna be into food play, it’d make her wildly uncomfortable.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Billy already rubbing his hands together planning his tongue’s assault on Evie’s clit. He is shamelessly and proudly into giving oral and will spend all the time he needs down there making her his. Billy’s “get what he wants move” usually starts with kissing up her thigh and then some. 👅 Finally, for him, he wants Evie to sit on his face so bad, it’ll take some time to get there tho

Evie mentioned this, but she actually really likes to give skilled head. They both are hair pullers so that works too. xx Evie wants to hold his hips and kiss his pretty thighs and let him fuck her mouth against something. Billy’s so sweet to about it, always making sure she’s comfortable, praising her, and kissing her after with tongue.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

I think this just depends on the mood!! More likely to be fast and rough. When they get slow and sensual, emotions spike and overwhelm and sometimes that’s just too much to handle.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Evie isn’t the biggest fan of quickies bc she likes to be able to relax and clean up properly afterward. Billy disagrees bc he’s a dirty little dick pig and he’ll take her to pound town any hour of the day. 💞

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Oh, they deffo will take risks and experiment!! They’re young and horny and super into each other. Go raw.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Billy has some wild stamina that Evie doesn’t always match. With his coaxing and encouragement, she might be able to go a couple rounds. But, I think Evie wants like crazy foreplay and then one amazing sex round and then cuddling. Whereas Billy can have his insatiable nights and try to work a couple climaxes out of her. However he wont push and this works out fine bc they can also wake each other up with sex during the night too!! 😉

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Evie and Heather deffo bought toys together and used them and called each other after like “girl hfjhkejr!!!” lmao. Billy prefers to just be the toy himself bc of his Boy Pride. I think Spencers will be a fav store of my teens when Starcourt opens....... But, Billy would like to use toys on Evie like he’s performing an exorcism and I mentioned this but......someone peg this bratty boy.....

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Billy Hargrove is such a shit. He’s constantly trying to tease is pretty plush gf, but I think he underestimates how hard she can match him so they’ll end the night tearing each other up.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Evie always tries not to make too much sound, until Billy makes it his mission to stop all of that. He’s pornographically loud and longs for Evie to match that. If he can get her to cry out while she’s holding back...that makes him V Happy.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Evie likes lingerie and cute matching undergarments even if no one sees it. She likes feeling the lace under her clothes and that naughty thrill like she has a secret. She’s a big girl and she dresses for HERSELF. Also, I’ve done this before.....leaving lipstick kisses on Billy’s clothing and skin. He does not try to wash it off lmao he adores being marked by his gf. Lastly, Billy is totally a biter and he wants to sink his teeth into her chest and ass so bad.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Imma just leave this here bc Billy is mad fat and he knows it and he walks around like he is so everyone else knows it.

Evie’s so shy at first with him, bc he looks like Apollo and he hasn’t been with a big girl and she has boobs and tummy and thighs and love handles and she gets worried about angles but Billy is so keen to touch her, that a lot of her fears melt away.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Big Huge. They’re nasty. Evie is not exempt from this bc she is as bad as him even if she pretends like she isn’t. Girls can be dick pigs too just as much as boys and she is NOT that stereotype fat girls often get being a super shy virgin type.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Unless they’ve been going a long time, they both actually stay up for a bit after. ((I think they both just have sleep issues anyways.)) Either spooning or talking or getting up to finish the day lol but they really enjoy lying there together and fighting to stay awake so they can chat and enjoy each other’s company before falling asleep all cozy and secure. That’s what they really get out of each other is security. 💘💘💘

**This was so much fun!!! And I’m always happy to take horny asks or requests for Billy & Evie. You never know what I can put into the fic or what I can make a smutty one shot out of. Thank you!!!

#billy hargrove #Billy hargrove x oc #Billy Hargrove imagine #Billy x plus size oc #billy hargrove smut #Billy x angel #mine #writing #stranger things #angel fenny #SOMY

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outropeace · 4 years ago

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elotito tagged me on this so i’m gonna do it for her <33333

1. describe how you first started writing and when you first posted

i began to write in general since i was around 14 like any other emo kid kdjdjsks and o began to write fics when a friend asked me for one as a birthday present. it was written in a hurry and it’s not my favorite but i really enjoyed doing it. i posted that exact same fic on their birthday

2. which of your characters do you typically resonate most closely with? do you base any characters off of yourself?

it depends the fic i guess. and not really, i think the closest i’ve been to do that is in the rockstar au (coming to the @bottomlouisficfest very soon), i put one or two of my old insecurities in h so he could connect better and wouldn’t be persieved as just an asshole-y dude cause i don’t like that and louis don’t deserve that uwu🌸

3. where do you often find inspiration?

music, movies, tiktoks (DONT JUDGE KDKDKS)

4. has quarantine helped or hindered your writing process?

before the quarantine i had around 3 wips, now i have 8

5. do you listen to music/noise while you write or do you prefer silence?

i listen lofi youtube playlists shjdkld

6. what is your biggest writing pet peeve in your writing or in general?

me repeating “Oh...” over and over again through tall my fics, it shouldn’t be legal

7. describe your ideal writing setup

rainy day, good coffee, comfy sweater, my cat besides me, arely sending texts about teeth/imessage games, snacks

8. favorite time of day to write?

nights (it’s usually when i have time)

9. favorite genre to write + one you’d like to try writing in the future?

i’d LOVE to write a thriller

10. do you struggle with writer’s block? how do you typically overcome it?

i just leave the fic for a bit, i don’t really like to push myself about this cause i’m just doing it for fun

11. what is the easiest part of your writing process and the most difficult?

the easiest is the dialogues, i could write pages and pages of just dialogues in hours and the hardest is the smut dhjdd

12. how do you come up with original characters? (if applicable)

it depends, is the antagonist? i ask myself how’d i feel if i were them, like a third party just trying (and usually failing) to get in between

13. what is your favorite and least favorite word?

i like “wet” i just... yeah.... and least favorite i don’t really know tbh

14. what is one thing about your writing that you’re really proud of and one thing you hope to continue working at?

i like that people conect with the characters because i always put a lot of effort in making them realistic (as much as i can), i make them flawled and sometimes even messy but with good hearts and intentions, all of them are (even the antagonists). and my grammar OH MY GOD MY GRAMMAR

15. what work of yours has your favorite ‘verse/world building? how did you come up with it?

hands down the ice prince fic. and funny thing is, i already had my prompt for the fic fest but i just couldn’t stop thinking about one particular prompt about a bratty prince and an alpha who hated omegas and the amount of POSSIBILITIES that had. two days later or so, the mods of the fest gave us the opportunity to pick another prompt if we wanted and the rest is HISTORY

16. what font and size do you write in? single spaced or double?

11 and single

17. what is a typo(s) you find yourself making consistently?

baby do we have TIME FOR THIS ONE?

18. (if applicable) do you separate fic writing from fandom?

yes, always 100000000%

19. what emotion is your favorite to write? which is the most difficult?

angst, sadness, anguish, sorrow, jealousy, i love to hurt hearts. and it’s not an emotion but after they get together it’s really difficult to me to actually keep going (oh god dkdkdkkdd)

20. what is one thing you hope readers always take away from your works?

that that’s okay to fuck up, that no matter the circumstances you have to respect your partner and TALK WITH THEM and that a person can be successful, independent and a badass while being soft and a c*mslut

21. what is the best and worst writing advice you’ve ever received?

i think “write whatever you like, you’re not being paid for it anyways” is the best and only advise i’ve actually listened to

22. which one of your works would you most want to see turned into a film/television show?

it’s complicated cause my two favorites are abos and idk how that would work dkskkss but the ice prince and the alpha/alpha fic

23. do you write scenes chronologically or out of order?

chronologically but i have a document apart where i write everything that comes to my mind at the moment, that one is A MESS

24. how do you handle criticism?

i think good, if it’s respectful

25. what is the advice you would give to someone who is looking to start writing?

trust yourself, have fun

26. what kind of feedback on your work always makes your day?

ANY type of positive feedback makes my day tbh

27. which fic ‘verse of your own would you most like to exist in? which fic’s characters would you most like to befriend?

none tbh dkdkks and louis, obviously

28. what do you always enjoy getting asks about/wish people would ask about more?

about my stories, i love when people just come to rant to me about certain things the characters did and ask me why they did it

29. what has writing added to your life? how has it changed you?

it relaxes me a lot. i just can write for hours and hours and it just feels nice and in some way exciting

30. why do you write?

refer to question 29 kdkdkxk

boost yourself + tags!

1a. share the last sentence you wrote

from the exes to lovers au:

The second hiccup of the night came in the form of his ex smiling to a boy sitting next to him on a couch. The boy had gorgeous, dark and wild hair, clear hazel eyes and a pretty pouty mouth. Their body language screamed attraction and that they both were ready to devour each other. Louis was familiar to the smile Harry was giving to him, bright and seductive, ready to give anything you asked for.

2a. describe the wip you’re most excited about

right now i’m very excited for the happiest season au, my “cliche story” au and for my exes to lovers au dksks i’m excited about a lot of my wips i’m so sorryjdjd

3a. share the piece of dialogue from one of your works you’re most proud of

from the alpha/alpha au:

“I’m not giving up on love,” He softly touched the hand that was still grabbing his thigh. “To me, love is like flowers. Each one needs a special treatment, if you give an orchid the same treatment you give to an iris, the orchid will die. Same thing with love. I’m not giving up on love, I’m just changing the treatment. We might not be an orchid, but we could make such a pretty iris.”

4a. share the best first and last lines from your work(s)

favorite first line from the sugar baby au:

Powerful people only end up with powerful people. The rest are just playthings in their lives. Louis Tomlinson was many things, but he wasn’t anybody’s plaything.

favorite last line from the ice prince fic:

“Who would have guessed…” Harry whispered after a while, smiling against Louis’ lips. “the dragon finally got to keep the princess.”

5a. link the last fic you read

HAYLEY’S MASTERPIECE

6a. link the last work you published

that’d be the ice prince fic

7a. link to your ao3 (if applicable)

hereee

8a. someone that inspires you

louis teheeee

9a. a comfort fic/work that you’ve been grateful for this year

god, again, there’s so so many of them, like the amount of authors i’m so grateful for, the list is infinite but these are a few that comes to my mind

all elote’s (@defencelesst) fics makes me really really happy and never fails to give me a cozy/wintery feeling, her louis IS THE MOST PRECIOUS THING ON EARTH AND HER HARRY IS JUST PERFECTION, i’m in love with her descriptions and how she just takes you THERE. hanis @loulicate-recs always makes me smile so fucking hard. ris @falsegoodnight fics NOW.... well.... ris fics they make me smile but also make me want to throw my phone to the other side of the room BEST OF BOTH WORLD IG. MAR’S FICS (loubellies on twitter, idk their @ here i’m sORRY) ARE LITERALLY ONE OF MY FAVORITE AUTHORS AT THE MOMENT, such a pretty louis IM SO IN LOVE WITH MAR’S LOUIS ITS UNFAIR

10a. other writers that you’d like to tag!

omg i’m probably so late to this and idk how many of you have actually done this so here goes nothing @allwaswell16, @runaway-train-works, @greenfeelings, @kingsofeverything, @thepolourryexpress, @larents

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amyscascadingtabs · 4 years ago

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2020 in writing

tagged by the wonderful @feeisamarshmallow and @b99peraltiago! thank you, this took me seriously three hours but it was fun.

tagging whoever has three hours to spare!! but i’d love to see @amydancepants-peralta, @letsperaltiago, @johnny-and-dora, and @fezzle do this, although no pressure because this took me the entire evening.

1. List of works published this year

oh god this is going to take forever...

i’ll walk through hell with you, chapter 5, 6 & 7

all the kingdom lights shined just for me and you

a single kiss and i’m under your spell

paper cut stings from our paper-thin plans

dust off your highest hopes

i can’t see the future, but i know that it’s there

look now, the sky is gold

look at where we are, look at where we started

bracing for the winds i always summon

just know that i’m already home

there’s magic everywhere you go

we’ve found a love to cross the ages

all my days, i’ll know your face

hell was the journey but it brought me heaven

(three times ‘cause) i’ve waited my whole life

if devotion is a river, then i’m floating away

when all your heroes get tired (i’ll be something better yet)

evermore

i am not a stranger to the dark

in the cracks of light, i dreamed of you

rare as the glimmer of a comet in the sky

21 works!!

2. Work you are most proud of (and why)

I am really really proud of finishing i’ll walk through hell with you, that’s still one of the highlights in my writing “career”. bracing for the winds i always summon and (three times ‘cause) i’ve waited my whole life, because they were both longer works with a lot of introspection that focused a lot on jake and amy’s feelings about upcoming parenthood. especially the last one I still love dearly. i’m also really proud of the fics i wrote all from rosa’s perspective (paper cut stings from our paper-thin plans and when all your heroes get tired (i’ll be something better yet)).

3. Work you are least proud of (and why)

none! I guess a few of them are shorter and written way quicker than some others, but I always take that into consideration when “evaluating” how proud I am of them so no. personally, I’m proud of everything in different ways.

4. A favourite except of your writing

referring to the creator tag meme for this where I posted excerpts from the five works I’m most proud of!

5. Share or describe a favourite review you received

questions like these remind me that I need to start saving my favorite reviews somewhere! that’s a goal for 2021, haha. but every comment that have listed their favorite moments in the fic I reread like five times over and smile every time, and all the comments people left me on the last chapter of i’ll walk through hell with you were so wonderful. and the rosa fic. and the -

you know what, I just started reading through old comments and I can’t pick one, it feels too unfair to all the other incredible ones I ’ve gotten. so. all of them!!!! I love you guys!!

I will mention this one that someone sent me in the middle of summer, during a period when I wasn’t writing or publishing so it ended up meaning that much more for that reason as well. comment on look at where we are, look at where we started (in the brief period of time when we thought peraltiago baby would be named Leo)

“Idk why, but the way Jake was talking to Leo made me wonder if my parents ever talked to me like that right after I was born. I've been told the story of my birth every birthday since I was born, so I know it by heart, but despite the countless Peraltiago baby fics and other fandom baby fics I've read, this is the one that made me wonder what my parents were thinking when I was born. And then it made me wonder what I'm gonna think when I give birth to a kid, or if I adopt a kid.” like, I was just so floored that something I wrote made someone reflect so deeply on their own life. and I want to underline that I have so so many favourite reviews but yes, this one stuck with me!

6. A time when writing was really, really hard

this summer was the hardest it’s ever been. first the (rightful) hesitance and reflection that followed the BLM protests and then some trauma and deep depression added onto that for me was… yeah. it took a really long time to find real joy in it again.

7. A scene of characters you wrote that surprised you

Jake and Rosa’s friendship in i am not a stranger to the dark! I’ve written a bit of Rosa and Amy and feel quite comfortable with their friendship and dynamic but far less of Jake and Rosa!

“At least this is still way better than... that.” “Literally everything is better than prison.” “True that.” Rosa looks up at the tv, realizing she’s missed at least ten minutes of the movie already. “I’m glad we got out.” “Sometimes it still feels like a part of me didn't,” Jake says, quietly. “You ever feel that way?” “Sometimes,” she admits. “We did, though. That's what's important.”

Rosa can hear someone talking in the background on the other end, and Jake mumbling something back in reply. “I have to go,” he tells her, and it makes her a little sad, because he's good company. “I can't miss dinner. Wouldn't want to piss off the entirety of my fiancées family before I’ve even married her, right?”

8. How did you grow as a writer this year?

I wrote more Rosa! that’s probably the single thing which helped me grow most, because she’s arguably a much harder character to write than Jake and Amy, since most of the time you really have no clue what she’s thinking. I have to think a lot harder about how Rosa thinks and feels and reacts to things and I feel like that makes me a better writer overall.

9. How do you hope to grow next year?

I don’t have any big expectations tbh. I know next year is going to take so much of my energy “”professionally”” or well, study-wise, so I think it’s the wrong year to set ambitious creative writing goals for me. then there’s also the inevitable fact that I’ve written a whopping ninety-nine stories for this show now and I’m always asking myself for how long it will last. there was a point in april-may where I thought it was going to be the end and during the entire summer as well. so… we’ll see. I don’t have any WIP I’m aching to finish right now.

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta of cheerleader or muse etc. etc.)?

@fezzle, @johnny-and-dora, @vernonfielding, @amydancepants-peralta, @feeisamarshmallow, @amazingsantiago and @letsperaltiago all deserve their own shoutouts here for various reasons!! (if you want to know more about why just message me!)

11. Anything from real life show up in your writing this year?

always, in different ways in how I relate to the characters and different feelings and moments and experiences that would take way too long to explain. but if I could choose one fic it would be paper cut stings from our paper-thin plans. I worked through a lot of feelings about a breakup I went through in this one and they were ones I hadn’t really had the chance to let myself feel before writing this. It isn’t similar to how my breakup went, at least I didn’t mean for it to be and haven’t put any intentional similarities in there (although I guess there are a few if you look for them) but some of the things Rosa thinks, says and feels after being broken up with were quite personal. i am not a stranger to the dark and the way it focuses on healing after trauma was also partly personal although way much less obviously so because the experiences are quite different lol.

12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers?

make writer friends! talk to other writers! you’ll both learn so much and it makes writing and developing fics so much more fun!

13. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year

I currently have zero WIP and zero real plans so genuinely who knows. all depends on what my life will look like and what s8 will bring us!

14. If you could recommend only one work from yourself published this year

all the favourite five, but maybe when all your heroes get tired (i’ll be something better yet). I think it’s a great complement to the Rosa and Amy action we saw in season 7 and it has a lot of peraltiago from someone else’s viewpoint as well.

15. Year word count

are you kidding meeeee okay here we go.

okay, so adding everything I’ve published this year together… 111 283 words.

😳 😳 😳

DEAR GOD.

additional trivia: the shortest fic was 651 words (evermore), the longest if you exclude the three chapters of i’ll walk through hell with you (they are 24.6k together though) (three times ‘cause) i’ve waited my whole life, and the average word count for a fic of mine this year was 5 299 or 4 838 words, depending on whether you count the chapters of i’ll walk through hell with you as one or three works. that makes sense because i feel like i’ve written a loot of fics around that length this year!

#johanna talks writing #THANK YOU fee and adele for tagging me in this i've been so excited to do it

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sombreboy · 5 years ago

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Love Maze »1

Series masterlist » Next ▎ 18+ ▎ pairing: Taehyung x Jungkook ▎ genre: School AU, crack humor, smut, angst, ETL, slow burn. ▎ word count: 7.4k ▎ ch.warnings: They’re basketball boys in the school team lol, cursing, mxm, two dumb boys trying to figure their feelings, smut, anal (pls use lube irl this is fiction!), mentions of alcoholic father, some angsty feelings. Idk what else lmk, just, don’t read this if you’re sensitive to messy angsty feels, mxm smut, dumb humor & lots of cursing. A/N at the end of the post!

Taehyung didn’t know what kind of response he was expecting from Jungkook. Perhaps something like, ‘Don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone, let’s forget about it.’ That’s it. Nothing more, nothing less. But what he didn’t expect to read was what he received, and his body language proved that. His shoulders were tense, and his jaw was locked in place. Tae ran a hand through his damp hair, repeating Kook’s words in his head. ‘But you didn’t say we should stop..’ What the fuck kind of dumbassery was that? And why wasn’t Taehyung opposed to the idea of it?

‘‘Taehyung, the hell’s wrong with you today? Get your head in the game!’’

Those same series of words kept on repeating themselves in the back of Taehyung’s busy mind, almost taunting him in a way.

Namjoon, their team captain, had made it very clear this early morning—Six o’clock, to be exact, that Taehyung was out of it, and was lazily dragging his feet across the court.

The latter knew that Joon’s only intention was to help him, but if he hadn’t bit down on his tongue, Taehyung would’ve lost his shit.

Who the fuck thought that it was a good idea to start practice so goddamn early in the morning?

Tae was a mixture of surprise and thankful that he didn’t just fall asleep right then and there.

Truth be told, there was a strong urge to..

Because of this, Taehyung almost regretted staying up so late into the night slashing zombies left and right, searching for ammo, yelling profanities out of anger when someone would sneak attack him—almost. He was way too invested in his gaming to truly feel any guilt.

But, much to his shock, the boy felt a sense of guilt begin to gnaw at him throughout the day, hence why he was making his way towards the familiar gym once again. This time not half-dead.

Tae knew how much this upcoming game meant to Namjoon.

As he began to get settled in, glad that he was the only one there, Taehyung casually practiced his free throws. He challenged himself to make it from different spots in the court, succeeding in most of them.

Minutes later when he was beginning to get in the groove of things, in waltzed Jeon Jungkook.

Fucking great. Just what he needed.

Tae let out a defeated sigh, meeting the other boy’s gaze for a split second before continuing with what he was doing.

“What the hell are you doing here.” It was a mumbled question, no trace of enjoyment laced in his lower tone.

Jungkook glanced at Taehyung, their eyes met for a split second as he walked in. Tae's snarky comment had Jungkook roll his tongue on the inside of his cheek with annoyance, glaring with furrowed eyebrows as he went to the opposed side of the play field. He brought his own basketball, bouncing it a few times to make sure it had enough air, "To practice, what the hell does it look like?" He scoffed before the loud echo of the basketball was the only sound coming from his end of the court.

A sour scoff originated from the back of Taehyung’s throat, whom in response to Jungkook’s presence tried to show off by shooting the basketball from a further position.

“Yeah,” The boy began, extending out his arms, “you need lots of practice, alright.”

He successfully made it into the net.

Call him childish, but the little smile tugging at the corners of his lips was getting hard to ignore..

Ever since the age of eight, when Jungkook was introduced to his group of friends, Tae enjoyed finding different ways to irk him.

From chasing him around the playground with a worm in his hand, bumping shoulders into him whenever he felt like it, to making fun of his Basketball skills.. it was amusing, he couldn’t lie.

“Hey, you.” The taller didn’t bother referring to ‘you’ by his name, “We should play against each other. You could learn a few things from me.”

Jungkook grit his teeth, dashing towards his hoop to jump up and slam dunk the basketball into the hoop, much harder than intended. He’d been working out a lot lately, and his strength was finally showing, and he couldnt wait to wipe that grin off Tae's face.

"Eat shit," he frowned, but he accepted his challenge, "Fine." He threw his ball to the side, getting ready to sprint towards him with a speed completely new to the elder. Taehyung would be lying if he said he wasn’t the least bit fazed by the look of determination in Jungkook’s eyes.

This wasn’t the Jungkook he knew, who the hell was this person?

However, he wouldn’t let the younger scare him, no matter how often he tried to play the “Big Wolf”.

It was pathetic, really.

Those pretty eyes didn’t compliment that facade at all.

“Nah, I’ll pass,” Taehyung smirked, sharp eyes hooded as he studied the other’s every movement.

Tauntingly bouncing the ball in front of the younger, Tae managed to dodge the figure coming towards him and instead charged towards the opposite net. Nothing but determined to one-up Jungkook.

It was always a struggle, it didn't matter if Jungkook was stronger, Taehyung would always seem to be faster, one step ahead of the game. He quickly turned on his heels, the sole of his shoes squeaking against the floor as he sprints to catch up with Taehyung, trying his hardest to push himself to use his strength to attempt to jump in front of Tae before he'd be able to throw the ball.

Much to his dismay, Jungkook actually manages to bat the ball in a different direction midair, preventing Taehyung from scoring his shot.

Now he just feels like a dumbass..

He doesn’t stop there, though.

Instead of backing out, Taehyung’s drive only soars through the roof. The latter wasn’t about to let Kook show him how it’s done.

He was the one in charge.

In a swift movement, after running across the court whilst dribbling the ball, Taehyung jumped up in the air and made it even.

“Back in the game, baby!” The taller cheered, pumping a fist in the air.

Time seemed to get lost the more time they spent playing against each other, and surprisingly, Taehyung didn’t seem to mind it.

Jungkooks dark curls was clinging to the sweaty skin of his face, heavy shallow breaths taken as they kept playing against one another for quite a while. It was rather fun, and it gave Jungkook the energy and drive to keep going, keep trying his best. They were both extremely skilled, so the game kept going even back and forth, the competitive tension stronger than ever--but he was getting tired.. his muscles ached, his body coated in a layer of glistening sweat.

“Getting tired already, Kook?” Taehyung playfully snarked, completely disregarding the fact that he was also drenched with sweat from running from one end to the other over and over again.

“That’s weak.” He wouldn’t admit that, though. “Come on, one last match.” The boy stated, his defined stomach on full display as he used the end of his Jersey to wipe at his face.

Not bothering waiting for an answer, Tae hoped that the challenging look in his eyes was enough to draw Jungkook in.

As he began dribbling the ball, waiting to see what the younger’s next move would be, Taehyung began charging towards the familiar net, passion evident in his face when—POW!—He tripped on his undone shoelace and fell on top of Jungkook.

“Fuck..” He hissed, feeling some minor pain emerge from his lower leg but thankfully, Kook’s body was there to act as a cushion.

After the taller managed to redeem himself (to the best of his abilities), he brought up his face from Kook’s chest to look down at the other.

Taehyung’s hands were placed on either side of Jungkook’s head, chest heaving and sweat beads streaming down his temples.

He didn’t know why, but his body wouldn’t move away from its position. It was like he was stuck there.. face so close to Jungkook’s..

Everything happened so fast that one moment Jungkook was preparing to charge towards Taehyung, and the next he was on his back on the floor, something heavy weighing him down. He opened his eyes, and they blew wide as soon as he saw the view above. Taehyung was so sweaty, and he looked... incredibly good up close. Jungkook froze, holding his breath and it felt like his heart skipped several beats, his arms laying limp above his head in such a position that had him feeling vulnerable. The tension between the two was so strong, at this point he wasn’t able to differentiate whether it was pure anger or pure lust that flowed through his entire being.

‘What the fuck is going on..?’ Taehyung asked himself, swallowing down all of his remaining questions in the shape of a strong gulp.

“Uh..” Was all he had to say, continuing to stare down at Jungkook like an intrigued weirdo, eyes skimming over the little details on the younger’s face. From the small scar on the side of his cheek, to the beauty marks perfectly placed on his skin.. Tae was infatuated.

He would never, in a million years say that out loud, but was he thinking it..

The boy wanted to say something like, “Wow, you’re even uglier up close,” but that was so far off from the truth, it would be a sin.

The heat erupting in Jungkooks body made itself known through the shade of red creeping on his cheeks, feeling himself getting flustered. Why wasn't Tae moving away? Why didnt he say something? But then again, he was completely frozen in place as well, having nothing to counter with. His lips fell open, a quiet breath escaping his lips, unable to find the words he was so desperately seeking.

Before he could tell right from wrong, Taehyung’s lips met Jungkook’s in an awkward kiss, hesitating at the start before finally gaining the courage to move them against the younger’s a little more naturally.

It was slow at first, Tae’s bigger hand cupping the side of Kook’s face, not wanting him to pull away by any means.

His thumb found itself caressing over that same scar he took notice of not too long ago, Taehyung’s own cheeks overtaken by a rosy hue.

Then, like the spell had been broken, Tae broke the kiss.

“Fuck.. uh..”

He looked like an absolute dumbass, didn’t he?

“You should use some lip balm, or something.” The boy cleared his throat, still not parting their bodies.

Something was wrong with him.

Jungkook was dumbfounded, staring at Taehyung as if he was a deer in headlights. Fuck, this was confusing. He had been struggling with how he felt towards Tae, trying so hard to suppress his feelings for him, and now feeling his lips in a kiss, his hand gently touching his cheek, it was as if all of the walls he had been building up around this enigma called Taehyung was slowly crumbling down. It was terrifying, and it clouded his thoughts, now all he could think about was the desperate need to feel those lips on his once more, "A-again..." He whispered, so quietly it was barely audible, almost hoping Taehyung wouldnt hear it.

Taehyung heard it. Clearly.

And he didn’t budge when it came to giving Jungkook what he wanted.

Tae kissed the other once more, gently sucking onto his bottom lip as if asking for entrance, for permission to take it one step further.

The older’s hand slowly traveled down to Jungkook’s waist, snaking under the boy’s Jersey, gently squeezing at the bare skin, feeling Jungkook’s sweat against the palm of his hand.

Suddenly, a drive to feel more hit Taehyung like a truck.

Teasingly, the taller’s slender fingers brushed over Jungkook’s nipple as he stared down at him, bottom lip caught between his teeth.

Searching for a bigger reaction, Tae squeezed on the perky bud, lightly tugging at it here and there. Meanwhile, his hooded eyes were set on studying every movement in the younger’s face.

Jungkooks parted his lips even further in a gasp, allowing the kiss to deepen. He whimpered quietly, extremely responsive under Taehyungs ministrations on his nipple. His cheeks were more than just pink now, but a shade of rosey red, his chest starting to heave up and down heavier. His entire body was aching for him to do more, anything, and he was almost ready to beg at this point, eyes pleading with tae to continue

The sight of the younger’s body reacting in such a way was enough to awaken more than just Taehyung’s inner want for more; he felt himself begin to envision what it would be like if they took it a couple steps further, Jungkook whimpering.. just like he was now, so quiet yet so loud to Tae’s ears.

By now, the tent in the latter’s shorts had made itself obvious as his fingers continued to rub over Jungkook’s nipple, pinching the tip just for the fun of it.

“Let’s get the hell out of here, hm?” The older’s already deep voice seemed to get an octave deeper.

Taehyung finally pulled himself up from his spot on the ground, before extending out a hand for the other to take. If he wasn’t so clouded with lust, Tae would’ve been embarrassed at the fact that he had a massive boner in front of Jungkook.

But, as he led the younger downstairs, smaller hand in his, that was the least of his worries.

Jungkook nodded, eyes flickering between their joined hands and the floor as he blindly followed Taehyung to whever he'd take him. At this point, he'd go wherever for this man, his heart pounding heavily as he felt his own erection strain the fabric of his pants, lips pressed tightly together to keep his whimpers in check.

Taehyung halted in his quick steps upon reaching the familiar locker room, hand letting go of Jungkook’s as he peeked his head around, trying to make sure they were the only ones around.

Thankfully, no one else was in sight.

The older reluctantly turned back around to face Kook, hesitating on whether or not to place his hands on the latter’s waist.

At the end, he said ‘fuck it’ and needily pulled Jungkook close to him by the waist, trying so hard not to listen to the consciousnes in the back of his head..

With a bit of hesitation, Taehyung’s lips aimed for the crook of the younger’s neck, nuzzling his face into the warmth before beginning to press open-mouthed kisses along the skin.

He gently sucked on a spot, nibbling on it teasingly, wanting nothing more than to make Jungkook enjoy it just as much as he did.

“Tae...” Jungkook breathed out his name with a quiet moan, sensitive to every single touch. He places his hands palms flat on Tae’s chest, granting the man access to his neck by moving his head to the side. His needy erection grew harder, leaving little to the imagination through his basketball shorts. The aching throb between his legs was screaming for attention, however he did enjoy the slow buildup

The older, as much as he was turned on, didn’t quite know how to tackle this sudden.. urge to feel Jungkook; all of him.

Sure, he’s had sex in the past, too many times to keep track of. But he’d never gotten this close to another guy before.

It was one thing to watch gay porn, but when it actually came to showcasing what he’d seen through a screen.. it was nerve wracking.

Tae didn’t know where to begin.

The taller pulled his Jersey over his head, leaving him shirtless in front of the younger.

He guessed that was a better start than none.

However, almost as if someone else had taken over him, Taehyung drove Jungkook’s body back against the lockers, his kissing more rough, and his leg placed in the middle of the younger’s.

Jungkooks back hit the lockers with a loud thud, a yelp drowning in his throat, muffled by Tae’s lips. His jaw fell slack, granting the man access to his mouth. His body was almost shaking, this feeling and need so overwhelming that his skin is hypersensitive to every bit of attention it receives. This was like a dream, it felt surreal, how did he end up here? What was going to happen later? His thoughts were drowned out when he felt the friction of Tae’s leg against his crotch, and he wishes so desperately to be touched, rutting subtly against his thigh.

Growing needier by the second, Taehyung pulled away from their heated kiss to undo the strings in his shorts, hands shaky as they fumbled with the fabric.

The older’s bottom lip got caught in between his teeth in concentration, overgrown fringe falling down on his eyes like a curtain; a lot of secrets hidden behind his intense gaze.

Once he was left standing in just his boxers, Taehyung’s hands now tugged at Kook’s clothing, wanting to make it even.

In the heat of the moment, a little chuckle slipped past the older’s lips, “What the fuck kind of boxers are you wearing..?”

His eyes amusingly skimmed over the patterns engraved in the soft fabric, holding back his laughter.

Jungkook frowned, his cheeks on fire as he averted Taehyungs eyes, “fuck you...” he hissed, but his voice came out weaker than he wished it did. It cracked at the end into a whine, only causing his embarrassment to grow further. He was so vulnerable like this, exposed to the man that he’s been pining for, the very man he’s been trying to suppress his emotions for, trying to hate him. But he couldn’t. His hands were clawing at Tae’s shoulders, pressing his back against the wall to get some room to breathe within the thick intensity of the moment.

If he wasn’t such at a loss for words, Tae would’ve taken this opportunity to make fun of Jungkook, but it seemed like his mouth was too dry to even utter a letter.

His gaze traveled from the younger’s dorky boxers to his small waist, then to his abs.. his chest, neck, and lastly to his face.

Suddenly, Taehyung got the confidence to speak at the sight.

“You shy, Kook?” He smirked, not failing to take notice of the splash of red dusted on his cheeks.

He looked so.. vulnerable. Taehyung wanted to jump at the chance to corrupt him.

The older parted their distance, looking down at Jungkook with so much hunger in his eyes before swiftly turning him around, pressing his bulge against the younger’s ass.

Tae’s lips hovered above the other’s shoulders, pressing more kisses onto the side of his neck as he teasingly grinded his hips into Jungkook, getting that desperate friction he needed.

''N-no, a-ah...!'' He gave up on trying to argue him, another small noise drowning in his throat when he gets turned around, placing his palms flat against the lockers, his chest pressing against the cold surface. He whimpers when he feels Tae's lips on his neck, shivers running down his spine, goosebumps appearing on his skin. If anybody saw him in this state, his whole image as a jocked bad boy would be completely ruined. But at this moment, nothing mattered. Nothing mattered more than the greedy desperation he feels for Taehyung, he couldn't be physically satiated until he got everything. Jungkook bit his lower lip to prevent more whimpers from escaping, but to no avail, his pathetic noises muffled as his hips press back against Taehyung, his plump ass rubbing against the large bulge pressing on his behind.

Even Taehyung struggled to hold back his noises of pleasure as he stared down at the way Jungkook’s ass moved against him..

“Fuck..” The older grunted, increasing his pace as he continued to grind against Kook, but, that wasn’t enough.

He needed more.

In one swift movement, the boy’s underwear found itself down to his ankles, his cock springing up to slap against one of Jungkook’s cheek.

Now that various of thoughts rushed into his head, 90% of them were questions.

Had the younger even been fucked by a guy before?

Was he okay with this?

Shit—Taehyung didn’t want to think about that.

So, he settled for dismissing all of his thoughts and worries. How much more different could it be?

In a hurry, Tae soon tugged at Jungkook’s boxers as well, now leaving them both naked to the eye.

Fuck, Jungkook had a nice ass.

After gulping at the view in front of him, Taehyung brought two fingers up to his mouth, coating them with his warm saliva before aligning them to the smaller’s hole.

Without thinking twice about it, the older’s digits pushed past the initial rim of muscle.

He began curl and uncurl his fingers inside of Kook, making scissoring motions as well.

“You like that?” Taehyung leaned in to breathe onto the nape of his neck, the squelching noises of his fingers now pumping in and out of Jungkook bouncing off the walls of the locker room.

Jungkook held his breath at first, his body tensing up, but as he felt the wet digits against his ass he took deep, slow breaths to relax. Slowly, as Tae thankfully worked him gently, his wet fingers warm and thick, it wasn't uncomfortable. He wasn't unfamiliar with the sensation of fingers, as he's done it to himself countless of times, but Taehyung's fingers were larger, and with the obvious fact that they weren’t his own, they reached so much farther than his own ever could. Jungkook pressed his cheek against the cold surface of the locker, whispering out 'yes' to the question thrown at him, lips fallen apart as he no longer can remain silent, a sudden high pitched whimper rolling off his lips when Tae reached a certain spot inside of him. Jungkook was surprised by himself, not aware he could even make such a lewd noise.

As a response to Jungkook’s unexpected whimper, Taehyung’s fingers only worked faster than before. He pressed them further into him, wanting to reach Kook’s deepest places in hopes of hearing more of his moans.

The younger was so fucking tight; his cock couldn’t wait to get a taste of it.

After a few more minutes of Taehyung stretching him out, adding in an extra finger or two.. massaging Jungkook’s warm walls, he decided it was time to climb up the ladder.

Without any proper lube in sight, Tae opted for spitting onto the palm of his hand before beginning to jerk himself off, wanting to ensure all of his length was covered.

Taehyung might hate Jungkook’s guts, but he didn’t wish to hurt him.

Resting one hand on the younger’s shoulder, Tae used the other to direct his throbbing cock into the smaller’s entrance.

He could only get the tip in at first, as Kook was that tight.

“Shit.” The boy cursed, having to re-align himself before using some force to hopefully fit all of the remaining inches.

“A-ah.. fuck yeah..” Taehyung breathed out, biting down on his lip as he gradually planted himself deeper into the younger.

This felt.. new.

He was overtaken by a sudden blanket of warmth as he slowly began to move his hips, sinking his nails into Jungkook’s shoulder.

''Oh my g-- f-fuuck....'' Jungkook cried out as Taehyung moved inside of him, the feeling so overwhelming, he felt so full. His hands curled into fists against the locker, the urge to almost punch into the metal surface because he didn't know what to do with every feeling that was overtaking him. It hurt a little, and the whines he makes were a mix of pain and pleasure, but with every slow stroke against his insides, the pleasure overtook the pain, and his breathing turned into needy, shallow gasps.

When seeing Jungkook begin to visibly relax in front of him, the older’s thrusting gradually increased in speed. The hand that wasn’t holding onto Kook’s shoulder sneaked it’s way to the latter’s heaving chest, freely roaming around the soft skin before stopping at its desired destination.

With a harsh slap of Taehyung’s pelvis on Jungkook’s cheeks, the sound of their skin clashing against one another became more audible as Tae picked up his harshness.

“So tight..”

He hastily licked over his index finger before placing it back on the other’s nipple, multitasking while quickly flicking the perky bud and ramming into Jungkook’s hole.

Tae found himself holding back a bit, not using all of his strength just yet.

Just from the way the younger’s body had reacted to his fingers, Taehyung could tell this was new for Jungkook as well.

“So fucking good,” He hissed, hiding his sweaty face in the crook of the smaller’s neck whilst continuing to pound him from the back.

Jungkook's moans gradually became louder and breathier with every few thrusts, his hips starting to move on their own to meet Taehyung's advancing hips, sweat dripping from his face down his neck, his dark curls clinging to his skin, ''T-taehyu--ung..'' He cried out, glancing down to see the sinful sight of his nipple being played with, then down to his untouched cock, swollen and needy for friction. But even if he didn't receive any attention on there, he feels like he could still cum from the way his insides were abused either way, and it was an amazing feeling, he never wanted it to end, ''H-harder, harder, please...s-shit...'' His words were barely coherent, his voice higher in pitch, his legs starting to shake in bliss.

“Harder, huh?”

He repeatedly rubbed against Jungkook’s prostate, not sparing the latter any mercy as Taehyung began to unwind; he was letting down his defenses.

If Kook was ready for more, then he was going to give it to him.

The taller’s broad chest heaved from exhaustion, but he pushed through it nonetheless.

He wanted to catch a glimpse of Jungkook’s expression as he came, knowing it was bound to come soon.

Taehyung’s hand traveled down to the dip in the other’s back, pressing down on it so that Kook’s ass could press further against him.

The taller took notice of how Jungkook’s peach had taken on the color red, the corner of his lip inching upwards proudly.

“Ah.. fuuck,” Taehyung cursed out, feeling a familiar pooling of warmth begin to settle in his lower stomach the more his hips snapped against Kook.

Jungkook turned his head to the side, leaning his cheek against his arms that now served as protection from having his head repeatedly jolting against the lockers. His knees were growing weak, but it got easier when he had his back arched, however it changed the way Tae's cock was angled, and he felt himself being brought closer to the edge with every snap of their hips. His cock was desperate, aching and dripping with precum, it was more than ready to explode. When he couldn't take it anymore, he reached down with one of his hands to squeeze his shaft firmly, easing the painful aching by just a tad bit, ''I'm g-gonna.... '' His voice cracked into a sob, being so on edge but not quite able to get over the hurdle just yet was such a powerful feeling.

Taehyung’s cock snapped harder and deeper into Jungkook, feeling his energy falter, his thrusts lazy and out of rhythm.

The taller was close to his peak, and it was clear by the way his eyebrows were pinched together, lips slightly agape as heavy puffs of air slipped past them.

Every inch of Taehyung’s body was enjoying this.

“Are you..?” Before he was given the chance to finish his question, Kook’s broken voice was his answer.

Wanting to drive the both of them to ejaculation, Taehyung didn’t hold himself back. Not one bit.

After many curses, grunts, and moans later, the older’s cock twitched inside of Jungkook like a volcano before breaking loose, some of his cum seen trickling down the boy’s entrance.

“Fuck..” Tae whispered, having trouble regaining his breath.

Still panting, Taehyung pulled himself out of Jungkook before leaning his sweaty back against one of the lockers, thankful for the cool touch on his skin.

Jungkook came hard, his insides filled with cum and the floor beneath him stained with a pool of his own flowed, his cock twitching heavily in his hand as he jerks himself dry, a loud, drawn out cry echoing in the room. His voice was hoarse from all the moaning. Jungkook gasped quietly, breaths shallow and quick when he feels Tae withdraw himself, pulling out from his ass. The wet, thick sensation of Tae's seed dribbles down on the back of his thigh, and he could no longer hold his body up as he dropped to his knees within the mess of their cum, holding on to the bench. He didn't dare to look back, not yet. The way he had acted, and spoken was completely new. He didn't know how much he enjoyed being the subsmissive in this scenario, and now it'd just be another thing Taehyung would bully him for. Unless... Maybe, this was a changing point. Jungkook glanced back at the taller man, still working on catching his breath.

The second Taehyung had been caught sneaking a glimpse towards Jungkook’s direction, he quickly snapped his head the other way, jaw clenched.

“Uh, I um..” He didn’t know where to begin.

Should he begin at the kiss they shared on the dirty gymnasium floor?

..At the way he nipped at Jungkook’s skin?

When he toyed with the younger’s nipples..?

Just where the hell should he start?

“I’m gonna go.” Taehyung cleared his throat, not sparing the other another glance, suddenly feeling disgusted with what he’d done.

He ran his fingers through his hair, pushing back the strands that once stuck to his forehead when he began to dress himself, not wanting to spend another second naked in front of him..

‘What the fuck did I do?’

Taehyung repeated to himself, his back facing Jungkook as he struggled to make sense of his actions.

Without another word, he left Kook in the empty locker room, eyes trained ahead as Tae only had one motive: To get the fuck out of there.

Jungkook quietly watched as Tae left him, naked and alone in the locker room. He felt disgusting, used. On wobbly legs, he got up, groaning quietly at the wetness between his cheeks. He decided to take a quick shower, using the one by the locker room, turning the heat up so high that steam filled the room, letting the water boil at his skin, ''Fuck...'' He hissed, still unable to focus as all his mind keeps going back to, is the way Taehyung sounded while ramming into him, the rough but delicate ministrations of his hips, ''Get out of my head.. Fucker, fucker..'' Jungkook turned the water ice cold, numbing himself from thinking, freezing seemed to help better. After a long while, he got out, dried himself and got dressed in his normal clothes, packing his basketball outfit into the backpack he'd brought and exited the locker room. How was he ever gonna face Tae again? Were they a thing? Did they still hate eachother? Jungkook himself wasn't sure, but he never did hate him. He needed to find this out eventually, or it'd gnaw at his mind.

When Taehyung made his way to the school’s parking lot— about to angrily throw his backpack onto the backseat of his crappy car, he was met by Namjoon as he pulled up into the spot next to him.

“Yo, Taehyung!” Joon’s voice rang, stepping out of his car when he was met by a harsh welcome.

“Listen, if you’re gonna continue to bitch at me about this morning, I’m not in the fucking mood, alright? I already stayed after to practice.”

The younger drifted off, failing to catch the look of confusion attached to Namjoon’s face as he focused on remaining his cool, hands unconsciously balled up into fists at his sides.

“Tae.. I was just gonna say hey?”

The older’s brows furrowed, internally questioning why Taehyung’s panties were in such a twist.

“What the hell’s wrong with you?”

Namjoon crossed his arms over his chest, “You okay?”

He hoped that if he asked enough questions, it would be enough for Taehyung to give in.

“I don’t wanna talk about it.”

Apparently Joon forgot he was talking to the Kim Taehyung, he should’ve never expected Tae to open up to him.

The only time the younger actually told him something somewhat personal was in fourth grade, when he admitted he, “needed to go poop.”

Not believing him for one second, Namjoon struggled to drop the subject. But, he noticed how much Taehyung looked like he wanted to get out of there, so he let it go.

“Well.. fine. Just know you can always talk to me, alright?” Joon said as he watched him get in his car, meeting Taehyung’s dimmed eyes for a split second before the latter drove away, far too fast for a school zone.

With a sigh, Namjoon brushed off their encounter for the moment being and made his way into the familiar doors. He’d forgotten his basketball uniform in his locker, and it was safe to say, it was time for a deep cleaning.

Just as he was about to make his way downstairs, he took notice of Jungkook.

“Kook!” He called out, waiting to meet him at the top.

“What are you doing here?” Namjoon didn’t fail to notice Jungkook’s small limp, hesitating whether or not to ask him about it.

“I saw Tae leaving as well, he was pissed off— wait a minute,” The Captain’s eyes widened, “you guys didn’t get into a fight, right? Is that why you’re limping?”

Nine times out of ten, Joon was the one who broke off their stupid arguments. It wouldn’t surprise him if things had actually gotten out of hand this time around.

Jungkook tensed, looking up at Namjoon with surprise. He quickly straightened his posture, ''Hi, I uh...'' He's never been a good liar, but he knows he couldn't tell anybody about this. Could he? Should he? No fucking way, Taehyung would literally strangle him to death. Jungkook's eyes flickered between Namjoon's before nodding hurriedly, ''Yeah, we got into a fight, it was nothing,'' He bounced on his leg a little, gritting his teeth to endure the small pain jolting through him, pretending his body is fine, ''I'm fine. I uh, I have to go now, so.. '' He shifted his weight between his feet, muscles in his legs aching as he just wanted to get away, starting to walk past Namjoon as he grips the strap of his backpack harder.

Namjoon let out one of his ‘shocked, but not surprised’ sighs, “Just ignore each other, how hard can it be?”

He mumbled, rubbing at his temples in utter frustration.

Joon wanted to say more, but Jungkook insisted he had to go.

So, he pressed his lips together, knowing he tended to overstep in people’s personal problems. It was a little flaw of his, but really he just wanted to help.

“Alright well.. see you tomorrow.” Namjoon waved the younger off, waiting until Kook was out of sight to do all of his pondering.

With a light shrug of his shoulders, Namjoon stayed put for one more second before making his way downstairs.

He just needed to remind himself to talk to Taehyung and Jungkook tomorrow morning, more like scold them.

Joon couldn’t have two of his best players take their anger out on each other, not when a big game was near.

Plus, they were his friends, so part of him worried about their own safety.

Jungkook was exhausted, and he had no car, so he sighed loudly as he opted to simply walk towards his place. It wasn't terribly far, but a good 20 minute walk. Actually, with a limp, make it 30...

As he finally made it home, he threw the backpack on the floor, and laid down on his stomach on the bed with a grunt. He had no energy left, but yet his mind went on to think about Taehyung. Where was he now? What was he up to? Did he think about him too? What the fuck is going to happen from now on...

Namjoon on the other hand, had gone through the lockers to grab his forgotten clothes, but also making sure nobody forgot anything. As he made his way towards the door to get out of there, he almost slipped, catching himself last second, ''What the hell..''

Joon looked down on his feet, a sticky mess stuck to the sole of his shoe, smeared along the floor in a small puddle. He crouched down, eyebrows drawn together in confusion. He took off his shoe to wash it, and before putting it under the tap water he smelled it and scrunched his nose, making a face, ''What the fuck is thi-'' His eyes widen when he realized exactly what it is, it's fucking cum. He washes it off, luckily he's got a very strong stomach, not easily disgusted by the liquid itself. However, he was wondering why the hell it was there in the first place. He pondered for a long while as he cleaned it up, being the way he is, and took his things and started leaving. His mind would rewind to when he met Taehyung earlier, he had just left the practice hall... Just moments before Jungkook, ''No way...''

He countered himself, but before he knew it, he had connected the dots for a possible scenario. So, Taehyung did not want to talk about something he was upset over, and Jungkook was limping, obviously in a hurry to leave... And then there was cum on the floor. Namjoon felt dizzy, rubbing his neck as he blinked several times, ''So they weren't fighting?''

Taehyung dreaded going home; he despised stepping into an environment that, in fact, didn’t feel like home at all. But, the more he drove further away from the school, the anger in his mind not having quite evaporated into nothingness yet, Tae figured ‘home’ was his only option.

He just prayed his deadbeat of a father wasn’t there, or if he was, that he wasn’t drowning his liver with one alcoholic beverage after the other.

It was a long shot, but the boy could hope.

After countless road rage moments later, Taehyung managed to pull up to his driveway without a single scratch.

Considering what happened last time, this was great news.

That reminded Tae, he needed to get his left view mirror replaced. It’s been a couple of days that he’d driven without it.

His heartbeat began to pound wildly against his ribcage after stepping foot into the medium-sized house, asking himself if he was the only one home.

Well, Taehyung guessed there was only one way to find out. Shutting the door behind him and carelessly letting his bag drop to the ground, the latter’s sharp eyes carefully raked around the living room, glad to see it was left untouched.

Then, for the biggest test of all, he opened up the refrigerator door.

Yes. The pack of beers were still in tact.

Without thinking twice about it, Taehyung reached for a bottle. He /needed/ some alcohol, having grown tired of thinking too much into things. Maybe this way he’ll learn to loosen up, his head hurt like a bitch.

For the remaining of time, Tae spent it up in his room, mindlessly browsing through his social media while occasionally downing the cold beer in his hand.

Sooner than he expected, the day’s light no longer peaked through the curtain cracks, and Taehyung couldn’t tell if it was because of the light alcohol in his system, or his inner fear of what could happen, but his finger found itself hovering above Jungkook’s contact.

Being a part of the basketball team, everyone was told to exchange numbers on the first day.

Namjoon made him and Kook cooperate, and now Taehyung might actually have an excuse to use it.

[Taehyung]: JK, don’t tell anyone about what happened, got it?...Use some panthenol on your butt, I read somewhere it should help with the pain or whatever.

Taehyung hesitated whether or not to include the last part, but he couldn’t be bothered to question himself anymore, so he pressed ‘send’.

Jungkook was laying in his bed when the phone chimed, groaning lightly as he stretched out to reach for the device laying on the floor next to his bed. When he saw the contact name, he coughed as he almost choked on his own breath, and out of reflex he threw the phone across the room, “Oh fuck...”

He was anxious, not knowing what this text would contain. It could be anything! What if he told him to never fucking come back to practice? Or that he’s going to kill him!... or.. something else?

Jungkook sighed as he got up off the bed, slowly walking over to fish his phone back into his hands that were shaking as he unlocked the screen.

“Don’t tell anyone about what happened...” he read it out loud to himself, and he felt like his chest tightened. Of course he’d say that. But, he didn’t say it couldn’t happen again.. he didn’t say to fuck off out of his life forever.

He read the ending of the text and almost felt like his lips were twitching into a dumb smile, because it was so unlike Taehyung to sound like he almost cared about him. Or at least his ass.

Jungkook hovered over the texting pad before he started to tap at the screen,

[JK]: Got it. But you didn’t say we should stop.. p.s thx for the butt tip.

Jungkook cringed at his own text, but was too tired at this point to overthink it as he tapped the send button. He had to know, or his soul would disintegrate. He already wanted more, and he hated himself for it. Why would he fall in love with the most emotionally blocked person on earth! Jungkook sighed with a frustrated groan following before throwing his head into a pillow to scream out his overwhelming feelings.

With a towel loosely wrapped around his waist, and toothbrush still in his mouth, Taehyung had just gotten out of the shower when he heard his phone’s familiar chime on the bedside table. Unable to put off his curiosity for after he was done getting ready for bed, Tae carelessly jumped onto his mattress, reaching over for the device before taking a look at who it was.

‘JK’

He felt that all knowing sensation of tightness in his chest, anxiety piercing through his veins. But, deciding that he wasn’t a pussy, Taehyung quickly tapped on the younger’s message.

After reading over it multiple times, he found himself still at a loss for words.

Honestly, Taehyung didn’t know what kind of response he was expecting from Jungkook.

Perhaps something like, ‘Don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone, let’s forget about it.’

That’s it. Nothing more, nothing less.

But what he didn’t expect to read was what he received, and his body language proved that. His shoulders were tense, and his jaw was locked in place.

Tae ran a hand through his damp hair, repeating Kook’s words in his head.

‘But you didn’t say we should stop..’

What the fuck kind of dumbassery was that? And why wasn’t Taehyung opposed to the idea of it?

..Why couldn’t he stop thinking about it ever since he got home?

It got to the point where every time he looked down at his dick, he would be reminded of Jungkook.

God, his whimpers..

Taehyung was definitely out of it, surely the beer had something to do with it.

“Fuck.” He groaned out loud, closing his eyes for a moment.

He should just forget about it, pretend it never happened..

But something told him that was easier said than done.

Throwing his phone to the side, Taehyung decided he’d thought enough for one day, mind starting to blank every few seconds because of it.

He needed to sleep it off, and hopefully by tomorrow morning, everything would just blow off.

Shit, he was already dreading having to face Jungkook at practice, but it was a given.

Jungkook kept glancing over at his phone from time to time, sighing when he realizes that Tae wasn't going to answer him. He wasn't surprised though, why would he? This was a lot, he should've just said something else, anything, that wasn't putting their entire dynamic on the table. But he had to do it. He couldn't not do it... After a while, Jungkook's eyes felt heavy, burying his face into his pillow until he fell asleep, still replaying the way Tae's skin felt on his.

A/N: Surprise! This is part one of a series co-written with @velvetwicebang, (whom also made the banner!) this is a DM rp we’ve had going on for a while and I really wanted to share it(and keep it for myself to re read) because their writing is just too amazing!

Also, this is NOT Yandere! This is vastly different from my other content, but I hope many of you will love it either way.

#fic: Love maze #bts smut #bts high school au #taekook fic #taekook smut #bts mxm #vkook smut

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