#so like even with everything i said here there’s also just the obvious occam’s razor lol

[soren-apologist]

i feel like people who say ike is a mary sue/gary stu in radiant dawn don’t realize that fe10’s supposed to be the ending of his arc as a character, where he’s reaching the very last part of his development.

at its core, fe9 is a coming-of-age story; ike goes from being a hotheaded, impatient teenager to a much calmer, more mature version of himself after having the responsibilities of handling a mercenary company and later an entire army thrust on his shoulders at far too early of an age. as such, while fe9 on its own initially seems as if it’s an entire character arc, we actually get to see how ike further grows into himself after 2 years of peace and coping with the events of the mad king’s war, a privilege that remains extremely uncommon for most fire emblem protagonists.

the ending of part 2 introduces us to a 20-year-old ike, now having physically grown up to match his personal growth from the start of fe9. while a more mature version of himself, he never turns on the morals and ideals that make him who he is, having decided to leave the crimean court to return working as a simple mercenary because he knows it’s where he belongs. despite this, however, he still finds himself dragged into conflicts and subsequent positions of power he doesn’t want. even though all he wants is a simple life as a mercenary, he still willingly chooses to take on the role of a general of sanaki’s army because he’s just not the kind of person to turn away someone in need, especially when he’s quite literally the only person qualified to fit the role asked of him (commanding armies of both beorc and laguz).

to clarify, ike isn’t already over with his character growth by fe10– he’s just nearing the end of it. while it’s a lot more subdued, you can absolutely still see the stubbornness and sass that characterized him in fe9; he’s still backtalking the enemy commanders he fights and giving people in positions of power above him a hard time whenever they do or say something he doesn’t like.

on that point, even as the “mature” version of himself, he honestly still kind of puts his foot in his mouth a few times there. it obviously never reaches the extent of him snapping at the entire council of begnion because they were being rude to elincia, but instances like this, where ike could have literally gotten himself and his entire army killed if he had genuinely offended dheginsea, whether through death-by-black dragon king or getting thrown back into the kauku caves:

or this, by which point in the story he’s so tired of everything that when oliver decides to defect from his own forces to the greil army, ike’s just like “eugh” and says right to oliver’s face that he’d rather fight and kill him then have his support as an ally, something he probably shouldn’t be doing (and most likely wouldn’t if it wasn’t oliver asking) considering there’s a very finite number of people available to fight ashera:

(i can’t entirely blame him for this one though, because, again… oliver)

or, hell, even this, where ike is standing directly in front of ashera who is about to kill everyone in the tower and turn the entire world to stone, to which his response is to tell her to pick a god and pray:

…are all pretty good instances of ike not always managing to catch his tongue. i mean, if nothing else, you can’t deny the guy’s got balls of steel, but shit-talking pseudo-immortal beings entirely capable of killing him on the spot probably isn’t one of the wisest decisions out there. still, though, it actually matches his fe9 characterization pretty well; in both games, he tends to snap and say or do something ill-advised when he’s frustrated and believes someone else is in the wrong in some way. the main difference between the games is the extent to which ike reacts, though, as now he’s a little calmer even when angry, and no longer charges headlong into danger like when mist and rolf were kidnapped or when facing the black knight for the first time. he’s still making some questionable (bad) decisions here and there, it’s just now they’re a lot less severe than they used to be, and he’s grown up enough that he doesn’t need titania to lecture him whenever he does something dumb anymore.

besides this, the main thing ike is still dealing with in fe10 is his tendency towards self-effacing behavior— and yeah, on its own “too nice for his own good” does sound like the sort of flaw a gary stu would have, but in this case it genuinely does affect him. he’s constantly bending over backwards to help those in need, even when his own kindness is constantly shooting him in the foot and leaving him to deal with even more problems. it actually coincides with his tendency to speak before he thinks, because as a person he just can’t sit by and watch as someone or a group of people is treated unfairly, even if it means getting himself wrapped up in a mess he could have avoided by staying quiet.

on that whole “shooting himself in the foot” thing, it’s important to keep in mind that the “rewards” ike receives for his kindness are more often than not things he doesn’t actually want. as a smaller example, his good looks, bravery, and gentle heart are constantly getting him attention from women when he himself has no interest in their flirting, to the point it makes him uncomfortable. as a much larger example, ike doesn’t want to be a wealthy nobleman, but he still accepts the title of lord to help elincia, and chooses to hold it for a year and a half after the war for the sake of giving legitimacy to her newfound regency over crimea. after this, he finally manages to give up his title and return to running the greil mercenaries, only to be contacted by bastian after a few months and have to go into hiding for the sake of launching a surprise attack on ludveck’s rebel army. he’s then immediately drawn into the begnion-laguz alliance conflict, something he’s actually okay with because he’s being contracted as a mercenary commander and not a general, except that as soon as their army combines with crimea and sanaki’s forces he’s promptly guilt tripped into being a fucking general again. after, like, 2 weeks of commanding sanaki’s army, they accidentally set off the apocalypse, and now ike is the general of the army facing off against literal god. when all of this is said and done, he still doesn’t get what he wants— a simple life as a mercenary— because now he’s known across the entire continent as the radiant hero, the savior of tellius. after everything he’s gone through, he doesn’t even get to have the quiet life he wanted because he’s simply too impactful of a person to be forgotten by history. ike doesn’t want fame, riches, and women; he just wants some relative peace and tranquility, something he is continually denied while the former is frequently pushed upon him.

ike’s ending is where i personally believe it marks the true conclusion of his arc as a character. like a lot of other people, i wasn’t initially sold on the idea of him just up and running away from the continent forever, leaving behind loved ones like mist and titania. after thinking it over a lot, though, i eventually realized it’s actually a very fitting ending for someone like him. the unfortunate truth of the matter is that, no matter what, if ike had stayed in tellius he never would’ve gotten his true happy ending— his fame as a general would have followed him forever, and it’s almost guaranteed he would have found himself dragged into yet another conflict he didn’t want to be a part of, something he himself definitely seems to be aware of.

as such, ike packing up his belongings and taking off either alone or with someone dear to him was actually the best solution to this perpetual dilemma; after years of pain and struggle, finally finding a way to escape the world that had ripped away his childhood and demanded so much out of him must have been cathartic. no longer was he the radiant hero, savior of crimea and tellius— now he was just ike, a traveling mercenary, and that was all he wanted the entire time. it’s also part of why i like the idea of him going with soren so much, as anyone else, including ranulf, would still have ties back to tellius, and could potentially come to regret leaving permanently in the way ike wanted to (hence why someone like mist could never be an option). with soren, however, all he wants is to be at ike’s side, regardless of wherever it takes him. in fact, i’d even argue the two of them leaving together is the best-case scenario, where they both can get exactly what they’ve always desired. as ike and soren get to finally escape the world that had caused them so much grief together, they actually both attain their happily ever afters, living the lives they always wished they could have had.

at no point is ike ever a “perfect” character; at his very core, he’s a person who refuses to stray from his moral compass, something that causes him to make as many mistakes and brings as many issues as it does successes. in fact, it’s so prevalent of a trait it stands as one of the themes of fe9, where even as he grows from a stubborn child to a calm, mature adult, he never loses that earnest belief in doing what’s right. as such, while it can be easily mistaken as doing so, path of radiance was never meant to contain the entirety of ike’s development as a character— it was merely intended to portray his growing pains as he gradually develops into the person who would one day be hailed as the radiant hero. mirroring this, radiant dawn stands as the very ending to this story, in which his selflessness finally grants him a tellius at peace and the freedom to seek out his own happy ending. he was never meant to go through an entire, second arc in this game— he was simply finishing the one he started four years ago.

[missoneminute]

I can’t help but find it strange that p+c have always been so open about so many taboo topics, but have mostly denied any sexual aspect to their own relationship (aside from ‘physicality has ensued’ - which could have meant fighting - everything else has been a denial). Even though there does seem to be proof out there, plus the fact that they were always all over each other on stage. Why deny? Not wanting to be pegged as a certain type of band? A need for privacy (which makes sense except for all the on stage stuff)? Maybe they really never did (in which case, were they ever accused of queerbaiting)? I don’t expect you to know, just wondered what your thoughts are!

Hello! You wanna know my god’s honest opinion?

I think some stuff went down once or twice (probably when out of their skulls), then they avoided eye contact for two days after, and they’ve never wanted to be defined by something they probably felt weird about and that is quite private. That’s genuinely my opinion. I won’t be convinced that nothing at all happened even if they said it to my face. I think it’s Occam’s razor in this case. A lot that adds up to something pretty obvious, but I also don’t believe and won’t ever believe it was anything significant, ongoing or committed. I think they had a weird fucking relationship that was highly codependent and anyone who has been in one of those knows at some stage after a few shandies bodies get explored. I also wrote basically an essay on this topic said much more eloquently than this a while back so I will reblog that in a second. Regarding the on stage stuff… honestly I think they just enjoy it. I’m sure there’s some element of playing it up here and there but overall I think they like doing it, it brings them a lot of comfort, and it’s also just how they are - they’re very tactile with each other off stage too, they’re just extremely used to touching each other and finding comfort in that, to the point where they even did it almost involuntarily during the 2010 reunion while still being in the throes of a war. They’d just gravitate, because they have such well defined maps to one another that they drift close without trying. As for queer baiting - oh yeah they were absolutely accused of it. They still are. And I don’t think they NEVER do it. Makes sense to lean into that expectation if it’s enjoyable for you. For me where that accusation falls down, is it’s one thing to look a little cosy on stage to get the fangirl pulses going, it’s another to post pained romantic diatribes online, collage entire diaries full of weird longing and write boundless songs that frame your relationship romantically. But ultimately I don’t think much went on physically speaking. If it did they might have released some of their god awful tension which screams of unfulfilled “feelings”. Like Roger Sargent once said, they needed to get a room. Couldn’t have made it any worse I guess. X

[hello-im-not-a-possum]

Werewolf Thomas x Merman Sammy.

This might end up taking multiple chapters, in addition to me digging in too deep, this ship in general just gives off a petty enemies, to reluctant allies due to supernatural circumstances, to ‘hey you’re not as bad as I thought.’, to friends, to lovers vibe.

Occam's razor indicates that the simplest explanation to a scenario is also the most likely scenario to be the true one.

For example: when an animation studio suddenly closes down and gets condemned, people who are on the outside looking in are much more likely to blame the studio's poor money management than go look for some extraordinary truth. That, paired with the workers of the said studio also coming out to site the terrible conditions of the place as an added cause for the studio's demise. When people have to work long hours with little pay to show for it in a dingy, gloomy, constantly-falling-apart studio that clearly wasn't going anywhere except six feet under or lower, they aren't exactly motivated to work hard or happy.

The Hunger was intense, growing beyond mere gnawing and was now consuming the cursed mechanic. The first change he felt was his teeth, the Curse deciding it was easier to make them all fall out at once so his new ones would grow in. He cut up his own tongue on the newly-made fangs. Call it an act of mercy or an act of mockery, but the tongue followed the teeth's example, falling out altogether so that the tongue of a wolf could grow in.

No one batted an eye when a majority of the studio's former workers left with some of them being untraceable, the lucky ones moved on to greener and happier pastures, others simply got a change in scenery, and sadly, accidents happen all the time in such an unsafe studio, people got severely injured in there all the time, so it was gut-wrenching for many, but not a shock to discover that it was common for unlucky people to lose their lives in the Dancing Demon's domain.

His entire body burned on the inside and outside, taking off his clothes did nothing for him as his new, thick coat grew in, a coat that was the same pitch black as his hair, at least, most of it was. The change did not hurt as much as he thought it would. As painful as it sounded when his bones became a crackling choir that reminded him of fireworks, it was not pure agony, he was sore, afraid, and so, very, very, hungry, but he was physically fine.

No one suspected anything like somebody intentionally sabotaging the many pipes that pumped ink through the entire building, that would just be silly! It was more than obvious that the pipes got the same treatment as the rotting wooden walls: they were ignored until it was too late. With all the wood, paper, flammable ink, candles, no windows, and avid smokers in that place, it was only a matter of time before that place went up in flames.

Colors began to dim and fade out leaving him with vision that could only see black, white, and the several shades of gray inbetween them. The trade off with his senses made itself clear as his sense of smell and hearing both grew stronger, he could barely think as the smells and sounds his human self had been blind to came to him at full force, overwhelming the mechanic. He held back the urge to scream and call for help, he knew none would come, unless it was the dogcatcher at this point. However he would not hold back the urge to whine, whimper and cry, as pathetic as he looked and sounded, he would at least give himself that mercy, even if he didn't deserve it.

No one thought the ink machine was anything more but an expensive and stupid project that definitely sped up the studio's already fast decline, but only with it's mere presence. Honestly, a machine that made models out of ink, wouldn't it be cheaper and easier to make a statue of your beloved mascots out of plastic or something like that?

Thomas yelped in surprise when the tail grew in, it felt like somebody gave his spine a good sharp yank. He was furious, scared, even remorseful as he knew he was responsible for this happening to himself and possibly others knowing Mr. Drew, and by god, did he want to sink his teeth into something.

No one except for crazy cross-clutching worrywarts who want to spoil every one else's fun and or conspiracy theorists would assume that the Little devil darling who graced the comics and silver screens for at least a decade would have literal satanic magic going on behind the scenes, no matter how screwy the man in charge seemed.

He was starving all day ever since the ritual, but now that the changes were over, he felt hungrier than ever before, like his stomach was a black hole that would make him consume everything in his path.

No one would ever seriously suggest that magic was real and led to being the studio's final nail in the coffin instead of becoming its savior like it's founder had wanted it to.

In the moment, Thomas Conner believed that Occam's razor was bullshit.

The mechanic knew what he'd seen, he knew to an extent what he took part in, he saw what happened to some of the unluckier members of the "Missing" studio workers, and most importantly of all, he experienced what he just went through. There was no 'simple' or 'normal' explanation for it; the ritual failed and as a result, he and a handful of other people had gotten cursed.

Here the new wolf was, squeezing his now much larger body underneath his bed to do nothing but cower like a frighted animal while trying to convince himself not to panic or to eat his pet snake. Keeping his human mind at the moment was both a blessing and a cur- -some extra salt to rub into his fresh wounds.

On one hand, the fact he was still smart enough to know better than to jump out the window and follow his nose for food like his instincts were telling him to was a lifesaver that kept him safe from animal control. On the other hand; if he was a beast in mind, he would at least be doing something more productive than sulking in his apartment thinking about anything else other than how badly he got fucked over, how his life was in shatters and how he had nobody but himself to blame for it (Well, aside from Joey, but that wasn't the point).

While far from ideal, his current plan was to remain under that bed, try his best to go to sleep, and occasionally chew its legs to stop himself from going on a rampage. He might not be the most supernaturally informed person, but he had seen enough werewolf horror flicks to know that nothing good would come if he gave into his hunger or if he tried to leave. Best case scenario; he'd become as sick as a dog after eating something he found in the garbage. Worst case scenario; Somebody decides that he'd make a great living room rug and BANG!

And then, his ears perked up as he heard the song.

It was a simple, repetitive tune, made with a music box maybe? It was the first time he heard it yet it felt familiar to him. The song itself was muffled, used a lot of ambiance in its melody, and if he strained his ears enough, he could almost pick up the sound of a voice singing along with it, but it was far too faint for him to tell who or what was singing, let alone what the lyrics to the song were. It sounded nice in spite of it's strangeness, but it gave him goosebumps. He knew it wasn't playing from the radio, he only kept it on when he was fixing something at home.

The curious wolf struggled to push a window open with his snout to figure out where it was coming from. He was making progress, the song did sound slightly less muffled now that he was poking his head out the window. Was it just him, or did the tune become faster? And it was also louder and more frantic, and he swore that the constantly repeating motif sounded like something he knew. The mechanic never considered himself to be a man with a keen ear for music, but he knew he heard it before.

Three short notes, three slightly longer notes, three more short notes, again and again and again repeating endlessly...---...Wait a minute. Thomas didn't recognize that pattern from a song, he recognized that that was a call for help!

"Don't do it..." He grumbled to himself as he put his paws up on the windowsill. "You don't know what'll happen, or if you'll even get there in time. Just go back inside and you'll figure out what to do with yourself in the morning."

The song, almost as if it was aware he was trying to ignore it like he was ignoring his hunger, grew louder and faster.

"Don't give in..." The wolf turned back. "You can't help anyone like this anyway, you'll only end up hurting yourself."

It... started to die down, back to its regular, chilling melody and grew even softer. Flickering away like a candlelight in the cold.

"Don't..." The wolf let out a very tired sigh as he looked out the window. "Oh fuck me."

Thomas leapt out the window and sped towards the source of the song, not caring who or what saw him in the city that never sleeps, he bolted directly into the forest. He tried to block out the new sounds of various creatures he couldn't hear before as well as the new smells of the earth underneath his paws and the plants all around him.

Strange marks were on the ground, they looked like someone dragging themselves through the dirt and the marks themselves smelled vaguely of fish and ink.

The song, while faint was very close, he was hot on the mysterious caller's trail! In fact, the wolf's new sense of smell started to become useful as he picked up some familiar scents in the woods; the smell of ink, smoke from a fire, and the smell of cologne- Wait, he recognized that specific cologne, it was that fancy European brand that the "missing" hot-headed music director used to keep himself from smelling like cigar smoke, vomit, and despair.

And the voice of the singer in the distress call 'song' did sound like him now that he was close enough to hear it. He felt a pit of dread in his stomach that almost made him forget his hunger. He knew that the musician was far too prideful to call for help for anyone unless this was his very last option and his will to live made the difficult task of overpowering his ego.

Squelch.

Almost confirming his fears and adding a new one that he was too late, the mechanic made the mistake of looking down and saw that he stepped on a severed leg. A black, tar-like substance that smelled like ink and rotten meat was squeezed out of the part of the thigh that should've been attached to a person.

"...Mr. Lawrence?" He hesitantly called out, thankfully getting him an exhausted groan in response. "Lawrence, where are you?"

"Here." A hoarse yet relieved sounding voice answered. "Look down."

The wolf looked down into a shallow pool to see what had become of the musician. If he was being honest with himself, he wouldn't deny that the music director was always easy on the eyes, and while the curse effected him drastically, that fact about him didn't change.

The water was clear enough to show off the musician's jet black, fish-like tail which glistened in the moonlight, the still human half of his body went through some changes as well; his hands were webbed and clawed, unlikely to properly hold any instrument, let alone use it, his torso, arms, and neck had patches of black scales scattered about haphazardly like splashes of paint on a canvas. Aside from the siren's new set of teeth (which looked like they could haunt anyone's nightmares), waist-long hair when it was previously shoulder length hair, and glassier eyes, the man's head seemed relatively unchanged.

"Could you stop gawking!?" Sammy re-positioned himself to keep his tail out of sight, or at least he tried to, the damn thing was two thirds of his body and he didn't exactly have something to cover himself up with. "I'm not exactly 'thrilled’ about this... Change, for lack of a better term."

"That's one way to put it." The mechanic almost let out a sympathetic chuckle. "I’d never thought I’d be saying this, but it’s great to see you haven’t died yet.”

“Why thank you.” The merman sarcastically responded. “That’s exactly why I went through all the trouble of literally singing my fucking lungs out!” He exclaimed while gesturing to a pair of charcoal-black things that the wolf previously thought were rocks. “To hear you tell me that ‘it’s great I haven’t died yet’.”

The wolf rolled his eyes.

“So why did you go through all the trouble for summoning me here then? Aside from the whole ...fish thing, you seem perfectly fine.”

“It... wasn't intentional.” The fish-man begrudgingly admitted, his voice sounded bitter, but his eyes shone with fear. “I wasn’t thinking about who or what would hear me or come at the moment. My body was falling apart before my eyes and all that was on my mind during it was; ‘Oh god, I’m going to die here, aren’t I?! And if not, my life will be ruined beyond repair!’. And when I sang out as a panicked response, you became the first to show up. Nothing more, nothing less.”

The siren swam to the other side of his aquatic prison and sighed resignedly.

Tom’s ears folded back in guilt, It didn’t take a genius to figure out that the musician was cursed by the failed ritual HE played a giant part in. As strongly as he disliked the musician, it didn’t feel right to leave him like this; alone, scared, and immobile in a place that could even spell out his death if he was unlucky enough.

He walked over to the other side of the pool and laid down beside the edge of it.

“Hey, you don’t need water to breathe, right?”

The siren looked confused.

“I’ve been breathing air just fine, in fact, I think one of the few advantages to this new body is that it replaced my old lungs with healthier ones. Why are you asking?”

“Climb on my back and I’ll take you out of here, granted, I don’t know where we’re gonna go, but where ever it is, it’ll be better than sitting around waiting for your pool to dry up.”

The merman, while hesitant, did climb up on the wolf man’s back, wrapping his arms around his neck to keep him from falling off, the wolf stood up and ran deeper into the woods.

[ethereal-ineffability]

HELL YEAH, DUDE! INFO DUMP ABOUT YOUR OC, OR SO HELP ME!

eyyyyyyyyy. CW for discussion of violent fictional bigots leading to body image issues. Okay so here's the thing. My boy Curio a sweet, kind of shy, well-meaning, socially awkward 28-year-old wizard. Tallish, no muscles whatsoever, big round glasses, kind of stupid facial hair, your standard stereotype.

Except that's not what he looks like, really.

That image is missing a Hat of Disguise (grey irish flat-cap), which he wears constantly, even while sleeping unless he can be sure he's alone. His full first name is Curiosity and what he actually looks like is somewhere around these two pictures, except with broken horns and a helluva lot more faded-over-2-decades facial scarring.

That childhood scarring is the reason why he literally never takes the hat off, no matter what; not because of the scarring itself, but because of what it represents. He grew up with so much baggage attached to his identity as a tiefling because, apart from a very supportive but imperfect and over-her-head single human mother, he had no support network in a small town where he was the only tiefling and almost-if-not-all of the entire town were superstitious humans who were very not interested in examining their biases. The children his age and a few years older were the ones who gave him most of that damage. But there's a reason his mother named him Curiosity; ever since he was old enough to explore, he did so enthusiastically and constantly, and after enough of that (and playing mostly alone) he developed skills that other kids his age didn't have, and he essentially became a gifted child. His mom took advantage of that (and some favors with an old friend) when the bullying got especially bad and got Curio scholarships to send him away to a mage's college in a more open-minded area where he would be protected and taken care of, in exchange for helping with tasks around the college until he was old enough to become an official student. The college became his life. He threw himself into the study of everything having to do with magic - history, mechanics, culture, ethics, etc. - partly as distraction, partly as hyperfixation (I do imagine he's neurodivergent in some way), and partly, subconsciously, as a desperate way to grasp at some sort of explanation for why he exists the way that he does and why the world around him is the way that it is. The enchanted hat was something he got at some point during his time at the college, and it essentially became a comfort item for him, and even though he probably could have gotten by without it with *less* problems than he had in his hometown, he just refused to go without it for years after the fact both out of fear of what could happen again and out of what had become, at that point, a deeply ingrained sense that he was just *wrong* and that he needed to hide himself to avoid burdening others. And all of that is just background for his situation in the current campaign, as a 7th-level wizard who has been traveling with a southern sweetheart druid satyr, a young-looking and mysterious dreamfolk warlock, a puss-in-boots-esque tabaxi fighter, a sweet grandmotherly minotaur barbarian, and a tiefling sorcerer in his late 40's who has a lot of backstory commonalities with Curio, particularly being raised by a single mother, having bad experiences as a kid due to his fiendish heritage, leaving home young, and hiding his appearance when he was younger. (Side note, the sorcerer's player and I *did not plan this*. We both came up with backstories independently, we didn't really have a session 0, and we just now found out how weirdly similar our characters' lives have been, though there's obviously been some differences too.) I started out this campaign by letting all the players know openly that Curio was not human, because I knew I couldn't keep a secret. In the 9 months we've been playing (we had a hiatus for a few, so it's more like 6-7 months of weekly to bi-weekly sessions), the character that's come the closest to figuring it out has been the sorcerer, Turavel, because he has obvious advantages when it comes to picking out which things just don't seem right for a human wizard to do. For example, on top of the weirdness of Curio never taking the hat off, sleeping alone often, bathing alone often, etc., he barely (roll of 15 vs 14) caught Curio tearing up when Turavel was talking about where he came from, and he thought it was weird that Curio could cast things like Hellish Rebuke. (The player, actually, was the only one of us to call this out when it happened, so I made note of it.) At the time (months ago irl, about 2-4 weeks ago in game time), I as the player didn't think Curio's cover had been blown, because I was convinced that Wizards could cast Hellish Rebuke, and I

even informed the player that Curio has fake entries in his spellbook for Hellish Rebuke, Thaumaturgy, and Darkness, just in case anyone ever saw it who also saw him cast those things. But I discovered today while searching for level-up spells for him that I was wrong. As soon as I realized, I sent Turavel's player these messages:

"Looking through wizard-only spells and realized that I as the player made ANOTHER mistake, specifically about which spells would be natural to see a wizard use, which means Curio made another mistake because I'm not retconning anything I said about what he's done. Whoopsie Since you actually called it out at the time (not the latest nat 1, the one time Curio used it before that) I'll be clear with you: Hellish Rebuke is a 2nd level, Warlock-only spell. Curio has the Magic Initiate feat, which might explain why he knows Thaumaturgy which is a cleric-only spell, since his 1st level spell for that feat is Healing Word which is exclusive to clerics, bards, and druids... but if that were the case that wouldn't explain why he can also use Vicious Mockery, which only works with bardic magic. He would have had to have learned Healing Word in a bardic way, leaving Thaumaturgy unaccounted for, unless there's just some explanation other than fiendish heritage or magic initiate that Turavel has literally never heard of before. Maybe there's a bardic college that would allow for the learning of Thaumaturgy? Unlikely. In that case Hellish Rebuke would still be unaccounted for, unless Curio has a secret patron and is a multiclassed warlock/wizard. Occam's razor. And since Turavel's the only one who asked to see his spellbook [in return, after Curio asked to see the spellbooks of all the other spellcasters], help me remember and I'll let you contest me on arcana with advantage to put all this together when we meet next."

And that's where we are. Curio's about to get fully found out because of overthinking and overprotecting himself in ways that weren't necessary, after just casually and confidently trading spellbooks - for strategic study - with the one person in the party who was always leagues more likely than anyone else to figure out what was going on. The same sorcerer who is old enough to be Curio's father and knows almost *exactly* what he's going through, and who Curio would probably be the most ashamed to be found out by, because he would probably be worried that his disguising of his tiefling nature would be interpreted as an insult even though Curio has terrible anxiety about the whole thing and literally can't help it. And I just think it's extra fun that the reason this is happening so soon is because of decisions I made intentionally as a player to make it *harder* to find him out, while truly thinking about what he would actually do. And I swear to god if that roll at advantage doesn't work I'm giving him all the inspiration I've got, because this is too good. I'm excited for the ensuing cathartic drama and for this precious boy to finally start learning how to love himself. p.s. in case any readers haven't picked up by now it's a closeted-trans-youth meets open-trans-elder allegory. This is what happens when you play DnD with other trans people

[bisluthq]

Hello! So, I am a two muse theory doubter (yes read realistic Kay too a couple of times). Like, I want to believe. I have even tried to force it in my mind but it doesn’t take. The reason is - TMT fails to consider the fluctuations of emotional highs, lows, love and lust over the initial 2 year period of a relationship. Like, I am a semi profesh song writer with a muse. The variety of POV I write from are extensive. Life is an emotional pendulum and our experiences make it swing. On any given day, our perspectives and emotions can complete change for a given moment towards a muse. I can love my muse for the rest of my life but hate them with the same passion on any given day, go to my piano and write it into a song and feel indifferent to it later (the good and bad end up in songs). When I listen to Rep, it’s range of intensities I easily apply to my one muse. Taylor herself saying Dress, Delicate, CIWYW & NYD her true story on the album reads like she is just pointing to her average daily experiences with 1 muse. If Delicate is Joe & Dress is Karlie - Taylor separated her finding “love amongst the chaos” into loving two people in her true story. If you actually timeline those particular songs it’s Dress (a lustful hook up), to Delicate (wanting to make it official), CIWYW (the pressure of making it official) and NYD (the challenge of commitment). Unless “Dress” leads her to “Delicate”, why include it at all in her true love story line up? Like, was it a last minute attempt to hetsplain that song years after it came out?🤷‍♀️ by her including NYD in her true love story of Rep, it ties via the ‘squeeze my hand three times in taxi’ lines to cruel summers crying in the backseat lines (which is also the circumstantial vibe of CIWYW). The backseat crying lines of Cruel Summer ties to the Cornelia Street vibe (which Taylor writes later as a reflection of the whatever happened after the Delicate moment) which ties back to Delicate via the bar lines and forward later in time to Gold Rush via the creaks / wooden in the floor lines. I mean, all this says to me there is 1 muse of her true story - which could be Joe (but that cancels out the sapphic nature of dress) or Karlie (which means this illicit affair on joshy-boy really did happen somewhere between 100 and a million times). Tbh, I tend to believe the later. So you’ll be like okay what about LSS, Invisable String then fruitcake? (Fair call future sleuth haha). Or what about babygate and joshlie marriage?! Like, wbk that affair was at least long and messy AF. Folklore and Evermore were written last year and Lover period was fairly chaotic and clunky at best (presumably because of masters heist). Like, they MUST have broken up (FG, DBATC, Daylight, The 1, Cardigan saga, TIMT, Hoax, Peace, Exile, Coney Is, Evermore, RWYLM, CP, Happiness, TTDS). Like, they all have 1 muse energy of losing someone you love through messiness (could be joe🤷‍♀️ we’ll never know for sure). But many of these songs refer to a third person being involved which screams Joshlie to me because of ivy, illicit affair, the bitterness of “The Man”. Baby, you say? Like it’s pretty simple - Karlie went back to Josh, married him and had a baby and Taylor’s like “uhh, what a fucking joke” and processed it last year through writing two albums about it all. Invisable string, LSS - like these are both songs which come from a POV of self-reflection after hope is lost. Maybe reunited after preggo-gate? Maybe consolidated love after break up into friendship aka Dorothea? WB - quite simply - WB is the model to which Taylor writes about whatever she wants to (triangulation of desire). Good for her, great writing strategy. Is it a strategy needed? Well ya, but only if it’s born of having 1 muse and a very obvious story Taylor is trying to obscure. Like, come at me sleuth cuz I reallllly want to believe in two muse story. I wouldn’t even had bothered writing this if I didn’t. What am I missing?

Hey Sim here. So Nat broke protocol and sent me this one to answer because I too am a writer and I too at one point reached that point in the lyric analysis where I literally could not fathom any timeline I was hearing that made sense due to the connections in the lyrics between Reputation and Lover. I have a whole spreadsheet called “Car Bar Roof” where I’m just trying to make sense of a series of events through lyrics alone and I nearly drove myself crazy doing it.

With that being said, I want to give a disclaimer: Nothing wrong with you interpreting things your own way! I know Nat can come off kind of brash sometimes, but both of us are always hyper-aware that we are discussing what essentially amounts to a “Taylor Swift Is Gay” conspiracy theory and because it’s a conspiracy theory and we don’t know these people, no analysis is ever going to be 100% correct. If you don’t hear two muses on Rep, that’s totally fine! I’m sure we have some Toe/Swiftwyn readers who would agree with you there!

I do want to caution against relying entirely on lyric parallels to create a timeline, however. You’re going to dig yourself into a rabbithole that’s very hard to get out of. I think a lot of people don’t realize that Taylor has been using a lot of metaphors (especially the car and the bar) her entire career. It ends up being a big stretch to assume that just because two events in two different songs both take place in a car or a bar, Taylor is talking about the exact same moments. Like, let’s be real, how many times have any of us ever been in a car? Wouldn’t it be kind of ridiculous for a critic of our work to assume everything we write involving a car is about the same specific time we were in a car?

It is also incredibly easy to construct false narratives when you rely only on song analysis. I’ll give you an example using Taylor’s first high school boyfriend, Drew. Whether you believe it or not, he’s often cited as the inspiration for Tim McGraw. The song Tim McGraw has a variety of common themes with Taylor’s other work, the main ones being summer, dancing, the moon, a little black dress, a truck, a creek/river, and going back to school. If we follow song parallel logic, I could connect Tim McGraw to folkmore songs and, because of this, could say Taylor is still dating/writing about Drew from high school.

The little black dress in Tim McGraw is also mentioned in unreleased Live for the Little Things and The Other Side of the Door. In both Tim McGraw and Live for the Little Things, Taylor mentions a black dress and dances with her lover under the moon. A summer love that ends with going back to school can also be found in August, and Cruel Summer and August are very similar songs, in that both are about a summer love that can’t last and isn’t being taken as seriously by one person as another. The Other Side of the Door is almost the exact same premise of an ex at your doorway as I Almost Do, Dark Blue Tennessee, All You Had to Do Was Stay, and exile, meaning all those songs must be connected as well. Dancing with someone in the middle of the night can also be found in Everything Has Changed, 22, and Dancing With Our Hands Tied. As a bonus, trucks and dancing are also mentioned in Champagne Problems, which connects to Gold Rush, So It Goes, and Dancing With Our Hands tied through the use of the color Gold. So It Goes also mentions wearing black and meeting someone in the middle of the night. So all those songs have to be about Drew as well.

So here’s the narrative that makes: Taylor and Drew dated over a summer then broke up when he went back to school but at some point he came back to her door and they got back together. They mostly hung out in the middle of the night, driving around and dancing. Unfortunately, when he proposed, Taylor couldn’t say yes, and literally left him stranded on the dance floor and is now #foreveralone and writing folkmore to process these events.

To be clear, I don’t actually believe any of this. I don’t think anyone else does either, but since neither Taylor nor Drew have publicly interacted in over a decade, this can be easily disproved, despite the “obvious” way the songs connect. Taylor just likes certain themes. Cars and bars. Nature. The contrast of light and dark. Sparks and fire. I guarantee if you go over her unreleased songs and first two albums with the same fine tooth comb you’ve gone over Folkmore/Lover/Reputation/1989 with, you’ll find just as many lyric parallels, and it’s not because she’s only writing about one person.

Occams Razor tells me Kaylor’s not on good terms anymore. It also tells me Karlie and Josh are actually having a child together. From the outside, it looks like things have been bad since at least the Masters Heist, if not before, and the more digging we’ve done, the more evidence we find of that. Now, you don’t have to believe that if you don’t want to! As long as you don’t go around harassing people we’ve got no beef with you. Just know you’re always going to find song parallels to back up whatever you want because Taylor’s such a prolific songwriter who loves to use the same themes again and again. That’s just deductive reasoning, baby. Thanks for the discourse though! LMK if you wanna chat song analysis sometime!

[utilitycaster]

that’s no moon (...theory)

you know I was going to put this under a jump after a nice little thing about how while I don’t like conspiracy theories this is harmless and I don’t want to yuck any yums but after this video included a clip that was like HERE’S AN UNEXPLAINED FLOATING OBJECT IN THE ASTRAL SEA. LAST WEEK WE SAW A MYSTERIOUS CITY IN THE ASTRAL SEA. and not only did not address it but completely attributed it to something else that does not even make sense, fuck that.

1. The astral plane/sea is not outer space. This whole theory falls apart the instant you are aware that the astral sea is in a different dimension and space is the thing outside of the planet’s atmosphere within the same dimension. When you look up at the sky in real life, and you see the moon do you genuinely think it’s in a different reality? Actually don’t answer that. If you do I don’t want to know.

After that I mean there’s nothing else to say, but I will, and I did put a jump so that I ruin this theory but don’t ruin your dash. You’re welcome.

2. The Gith are not unique to spelljammer, a specific setting for 2e. They’re in the 5e monster manual but have existed in D&D from the first edition; the lore of them being astral plane pirates was there pretty much from the start. The existence of Gith in a 5e D&D game merely means the DM has read the monster manual.

3. I cannot muster the strength to go through every half-assed reference to the moon that a competent editor could have covered in a quarter of the time but:

Circle of the Moon is from the PHB and it’s just a druid circle, the moon indicating the form-changing, wild shape side of druids vs. the more traditional, environmentally-based, and spell-oriented circle of the land. Keyleth was a circle of the moon druid too, which Marisha said at one point was because circle of the moon gains the ability to shape into elementals.

The moon is often associated in most real-world mythologies with the feminine aspect, with change, with night time, with secrecy, with fate, and, particularly relevant to this video, with the ocean (see: season 1 finale of Avatar the Last Airbender, also the existence of tides on the REAL EARTH like I cannot stress this enough, Catha and Ruidis are fictional but please tell me you have some basic knowledge of what a moon is).

Tolkien frequently associated elves with moonlight, starlight, and nighttime.

Sehanine Moonweaver is just part of normal forgotten realms lore that was folded into the Dawn War pantheon which in turn is what Matt used for the pantheon in Critical Role (+ Sarenrae from the Pathfinder canon, because funnily enough you can take lore from something without the entire source becoming canon immediately).

A moon-touched sword is a common magical item (Xanathar’s Guide to Everything, page 138).

4. All the stuff about Molaesmyr and the sword seems more like links between the Blooming Grove and Molaesmyr (both being blessed by Melora and Corellon, both being in the Savilirwood). Additionally, Molaesmyr is one of the few cities that survived the calamity before later falling to the blight that sounds much like the blight that came to the Blooming Grove and was notably an elven city which meant it was more likely to include worshippers of the moon goddess Sehanine, a deity who is, and I cannot stress this enough, stated in the video to be primarily an elven deity. It is not weird that a researcher of the moon would be like “yeah I look for information about the moon in one of the few locations on this continent that did not fall during a nearly world-ending event, full of people who worshipped the moon goddess.” I mean it’s no mysterious astral blip you’re completely ignoring, but you know when people are saying something on a podcast that’s extremely wrong and you know the answer and you’re just screaming in your car? This video was that, but for over 51 minutes, like there were so many dots ripe to be connected and instead you made me watch a clip of an anime in the sancitity of my own house.

5. Further occam’s razor notes: the parent of a toddler/CEO of a company/working actor/person with ADHD being on their phone briefly during a D&D game and then getting off their phone and paying attention? goodness me! what other strange rituals have you observed in your travels? Oh, the artwork of a world that’s explicitly stated to have two moons depicts two moons? wild. Asking a weird question on the spot of someone who once played a character who tried to murder santa got you a troll-like response? wow. better read into that.

6. Okay I’ll stop being sarcastic for a full 15 seconds to note that the height of half-orcs is “between 5 and 7 feet tall”; Fjord is well within that range and in fact towards the top of it; if you’ve been imagining him shorter than Yasha, that’s a you problem (unless you are imagining Yasha as like 6′6″, which is also not canonical but I have transferred my annoyance about Yasha’s height over to this garbage video so like, do what you want). Yeah he’s on the smaller side but within normal size ranges; this could just mean his human parent was short and skinny, or his orc parent was short and skinny for an orc, or his non-orc parent was actually elven, or that one parent was a half-orc and one was human, or that someone who grew up in an orphanage was malnourished and never got super buff. I mean, Yasha and Reani are both aasimar and don’t exactly look alike. I’m 5′5″ and when I see a 6′8″ person I don’t ask them if they’re from space.

Really, in addition to not making some glaringly obvious and far more valid connections the thing that grinds my gears here is that this video, despite editing that I found illogical and frustrating, did compile a good deal of moon and space (and astral plane, which is not the same as space, I will keep saying this) lore. It is worth considering that there are magical meteors! Ruidis really is, in Exandrian lore, alleged to have connections to the betrayer gods! I’d love for someone with two brain cells to rub together and a basic understanding of logical fallacies to take a crack at what’s going on there! But instead I got this. I mean it’s not  even a tin foil hat, it’s like, crumpled tin foil covered in the moldy remains of bad takeout pizza that someone put on their head.

[ariadnelives]

Chapter 4 -- The Drawing Board

[Missed earlier chapters? Go catch up here! Otherwise, welcome back! Oh, and make sure to join our discord server! Chapter can also be found @ ao3]

“Okay,” Ariadne said seriously, pushing her wire-frame spectacles up on her nose, “we've had our fun, blown up a spaceship, made a lot of money and helped a lot of people, but now it's time to assassinate a teenager.”

Pilar stood next to a large whiteboard with a multitude of lists and diagrams scrawled on it. “Or at least lay the groundwork to do so. As you can see,” she explained, pointing at one of the lists with a large measuring stick, “the impostor Ariadne has a variety of identifying features that distinguish her from our Ariadne.” The list read as follows:

THE IMPOSTOR ARIADNE

Fourteen or maybe fifteen

White

Blank, evil eyes

White robe

Shoulder-length blonde hair

Dirty Liar

Forced smile

THE REAL ARIADNE

Twenty years old

Black and proud

Beautiful, sparkling eyes

Short, curly black hair

Charming liar

Genuine, pretty smile

“Now, here's the issue,” Ariadne said, “We have no idea where her headquarters is. The cultists are active in every single bio-dome on Mars, and each neighborhood has established a 'Red God Life Center.'”

“The six largest Life Centers,” Pilar picked up the briefing here, “are heavily guarded. The worst part is, they've used a part of our own mythos to justify this.”

Ariadne continued, “Our crew is largely orphans and runaways. Some of the people we're running away from are very bad people. Ship Trap is so well concealed and fortified partially to keep the authorities from finding us, but also to keep the past from coming to look for those of us who've escaped it.”

“According to the literature they've posted on the FTLnet, these six life centers are heavily guarded to provide a safe refuge for anyone seeking it,” Pilar said, wringing her hands uncomfortably. “Our eyes and ears on the ground have told us that when someone goes into the Life Centers, they always take those damn Suffering Tests and come out preaching the Good Word of the Red God, even people who already had deeply held beliefs of their own when they entered the building.”

“We believe they've been using a textbook form of psychological conditioning. They offer a desperate person a safe haven, then convince them that they owe everything to the cult, and if they refuse to submit to the brainwashing …” Ariadne was too uncomfortable to continue.

“… If they refuse to swear their allegiance to the cult, they get kicked back out on the streets to die,” Pilar explained. “The idea is, you get a safe bed and three meals a day as long as you work for their church.”

“That's sick,” Taryn almost retched. “I mean, making people do your bidding just to stay alive?”

“Exactly.” Ariadne touched her nose in agreement. “That's part of why it's so horrifying that she's stealing my name for this. Every single one of you knows that you don't have to serve on my crew. You do anyway because you like helping people and, honestly, piracy is really fun, but you'd always get the bare necessities even if you just sat around all day.”

“Anything short of that would be monstrous,” Pilar said casually, “which is why we're going to kill the leader of the Red God cult and show Mars what we really stand for.”

“The problem,” Ariadne went on, “is that we can never quite figure out which Life Center she's staying at. Media accounts place her at as many as three of them.”

“So she moves from place to place?” Taryn suggested. “I mean, she has to know you're a real person, right? She might be moving around trying to stay secure.”

“I mean, three at the same time,” Ariadne clarified.

“Easy enough to accomplish indoors with a powerful enough hologram projector,” Pilar mused, “Her followers claim she gives off a divine glow. This could mask the fact that she's just a projection.”

“She's also paper-white and platinum-blonde,” Ariadne pointed out. “The same effect could be achieved with a concealed spotlight and a fog machine. A hologram could be disrupted by a stray housefly landing on the crystal.”

“Decoys?” Sweettalk wondered “Three young women, similar body types, with identical hair and clothing would be difficult to tell apart.”

Deathsbane nodded. “That weird ritualistic makeup could mask subtle differences in their facial features. If properly contoured they could look identical.”

Pilar pointed out, “Let's not forget that the last time we encountered one person in multiple places at once, the explanation was 'lifelike android spies controlled by a dictator.' Perhaps Occam's razor isn't the best route to go here.”

“Spacebreather's right,” Ariadne agreed. “The theory that the fake Ariadne is actually three people is the most likely answer, but we can't discount the idea that she's got holographic or robotic duplicates.”

“Is it too ridiculous to believe she's actually a prophet?” Pilar smirked.

Ariadne stopped this train of thought. “Okay, let's not get into supernatural mumbo-jumbo.”

“Is anyone considering the obvious here?” Sweettalk wondered out loud.

Pilar sighed. “If it was obvious, would you need to ask? Just say what you're going to say.”

“We have to consider the possibility that there is no singular 'Fake Ariadne,' and that whoever's doing the sermonizing isn't the ringleader,” Sweettalk pointed out.

“Otra ves no…” Ariadne muttered, and despite the fact that Pilar had been the first one to propose this possibility to Ariadne, her disdain for Sweettalk made her more inclined to dismiss it.

“We've considered that possibility,” Pilar said calmly and in spite of herself, “but there's no credible evidence to suggest the impostor Ariadne is not the head of the Red God cult.”

“Is there any evidence to suggest she is?” Sweettalk asked. Sasha looked impressed at her audacity. “I mean, she's like fifteen, have you ever heard of a fifteen-year-old cult leader?”

Ariadne groaned. “Why can't anyone get off this point? I had my own space station at fifteen! You're only seventeen and you could practice law if you wanted! Deathsbane was one of the best doctors in the system at thirteen! We're surrounded by teenage masterminds; is it so hard to believe the same could be true of one of the bad guys?” Pilar bit her tongue.

“No one's saying it's not possible,” Sweettalk insisted, “but you have to admit, that isn't the best sample size. You and Sasha, well, haven't you considered that you're a little… exceptional?”

Sasha blushed.

“I'm just saying, think of the implications here. If you're running a cult with a prophet who can be in three places at once, does it make sense for two of them to be robotic decoys and one of them to be real, or does it make more sense to have three robots?”

Ariadne sighed. “Three robots.”

“Same goes for holograms. If she could pass off holographic decoys as herself, would it make sense for her to ever appear in person?”

“She'd probably remain behind the scenes, but that doesn't prove she's not—”

“See, it proves that she's not necessarily what she appears to be. Holograms and robots can be customized to look like whatever the designer wants. She might look like the 15-year-old we've been hearing about, but she could look like anyone.”

“And what about your theory?” Pilar's jaw tightened. “You posit three body doubles, made up to look identical.”

“Yes, three girls, all of them smokescreens. Three teenage girls in a cult, all about the same age, with a clear physical resemblance? This is going to sound indelicate, but most cult leaders are adult men, and many of them take multiple wives. It's plausible that he could have had three daughters born to three different women, all within a few months. With enough makeup, half-sisters could look similar enough to pass off as the same person.”

“That's sick,” Taryn said, frowning.

“Sicker than holding people's food and shelter hostage to get them to promote your cult door to door?” Sweettalk replied.

“That's enough,” Pilar snapped. “Your theory is plausible, sure, but only if we accept multiple things we have no reason to accept.”

“I'm just saying—”

“I know, and I acknowledge what you're saying is a possibility, but it doesn't change anything.” Pilar seemed to be making an effort to calm down, torn slightly between her distaste for Sweettalk and the fact that this was literally the exact theory she'd been trying to propose for the past few days. “Whoever the ringleader is, we've still got to take them out.”

“It does change something,” Sasha said somewhat quietly.

“How's that?” Pilar asked, some of the steam settling.

“If it's real teenage girls, then they're brainwashing children, and that doesn't seem like the kind of thing we stand for.”

“Deathsbane is right,” Ariadne announced. “I hate to admit it… I really hate to admit it, but if the girl on stage isn't the ringleader, and I'm not conceding that, then she's a victim, and it's our job to help her.”

“So what's the plan?” Taryn piped up. “We can't just go in there guns blazing.”

Pilar looked thoughtful, and said “I think our best bet is to start with basic reconnaissance and information gathering. Station teams in safehouses near the Life Centers, one in each bio-dome. When canvassers come by, we invite them in, act genuinely curious. We need to learn as much as we can about their organization—”

“—things that we can't learn from their propaganda or their official pitch,” Ariadne cut in. “We have to get them to go off-book and tell us something their bosses don't want us to know without blowing our cover.”

“Okay,” Pilar said, “Standard stakeout procedures, observe and report. I'll be sending your squad assignments and mission specs to you by lights-out tonight. Take the evening to pack a bag of essentials. This shouldn't be a long stay.”

“I hope it's not too short,” Sasha said. “It's been a while since I've been back to the mainland, it'll be nice to stand on solid ground again.”

“You're not going,” Pilar said. “We need to leave a skeleton crew in command, you and a handful of my best Whiptails, in case the station comes under attack; you're the only one who knows the station as well as Ariadne and me.”

“I assumed you two would be manning the command center, you know, stay in the loop and all that.” Sasha sighed.

“We have our own mission,” Pilar explained. “We'll be paying a visit to La Pesadilla, see if she can shed any light on this.”

“I thought you hated La Pesadilla.” Sasha tried in vain to hide her exasperation with her sister.

“Everyone hates La Pesadilla,” Spacebreather replied. “She's a blackmailing lowlife who doesn't care about anything but lining her own pockets, but the upshot of that is that if there's something shady going down, you can bet she'll have eyes and ears on it.”

“But—” Sasha pleaded.

“—Dismissed, crew,” Pilar cut her off.

Ariadne patted Sasha on the shoulder as Pilar retreated down the hallway and the crowd dispersed. “I'm sorry. You should know, I fought her on this… but believe me, this place practically runs itself.”

“Not helping,” Sasha grumbled. Sweettalk hung back but kept her distance.

“No, you're not listening.” Ariadne put a hand on each shoulder and made eye contact over her glasses.

“What?” Sasha couldn't quite mask her frustration.

“This place is so well fortifed that you could basically leave it abandoned and nobody could touch it,” Ariadne said.

“Yeah, I get it.” Sasha tried to break eye contact, but Ariadne held on. “My sister doesn't want me leaving the station so she made up a job that doesn't need doing just to keep me here.”

“No, no… well, yes, that's exactly what she's doing, but you're not listening to me. You're hearing but you're not listening,” Ariadne said pointedly. “Spacebreather and I are going to be gone for a few days, but this place is so self-sufficient that you could probably just… take off for a day or two, have some fun, and as long as you got back before us, nobody would even know.”

Something clicked in Sasha's head. “Oh!!”

“She's very smart, really,” Sweettalk called from the other side of the room, “she's just new to mischief. I'll see to it she takes full advantage of what you just said.”

“Good man,” Ariadne said, disappearing down the corridor.

As soon as she was out of earshot, Sweettalk muttered to Sasha, “You know we aren't going on vacation, right?”

“I figured you'd have something up your sleeve.” Sasha smirked. “What's the plan?”

“They have La Pesadilla,” Sweettalk said, smiling, “and you know I've got my own shady contacts.”

“I thought you weren't on speaking terms with him,” Sasha said.

“Well, he could never resist a challenge,” Sweettalk explained, “and if you bust out and come back with some real answers, we could shove it in your sister's face.”

“Well, I don't know about face-shoving, but if you think he can get us some answers…” Sasha trailed off. “…Either way, I'm sure Pilar's given an order to keep me on the station, and you're the only one of her Whiptails who'll disregard that order.”

“You might want to talk to Fastwing.” Sweettalk winked. “Tell her you'll need to pull the ripcord. She'll know what that means.”

[fancydancing]

Keep it simple, stupid!

I swear this is my last essay about these two. I cannot continue to produce think pieces about two Canadian figure skaters. Especially because I’m not Canadian! Someone needs to take my laptop away from me! 

Anyway, this will be my last before I go back to my normal life (I think - probably not). I have finally found my answer and I can relax now. It’s so nice to have friends in this fandom that can help me figure this shit out. Because I couldn’t have done it without them. So now I will try to answer the age old question: 

How can two Canadian figure skaters be so complicated? What the fuck is wrong with them?

The answer is: There’s nothing wrong with them.  There’s something wrong with us. We haven't been able to find answers to this Jackie drama because the pieces don’t fit. No matter how we twist it or turn it, there is always something that doesn’t fit. The timeline doesn’t work. Or their behavior doesn’t work. The idea of Florida doesn’t work. But maybe if this happened, then maybe this other thing happened which then caused Scott to date Jackie. But none of those things happened. So nothing works, nothing fits and nothing makes sense. And we’re all here banging our head against a wall and fighting with each other. And trying to figure out how things can be so complicated!

Guess what?  Things are complicated because we made them that way. The Jackie thing doesn’t work because it’s not supposed to. Because it isn’t real. The pieces don’t fit because they never happened. We’re trying to fit the square peg in the round hole. Life really isn’t this complicated. There’s a pattern, there’s logic, there’s a set cycle we follow.  As humans we are genetically hardwired to reproduce and in order to help us achieve that purpose we’re also hardwired to fall in love. Also, according to science we are attracted to those we are exposed to most often. The science of life makes perfect sense. Sometimes weird things happen here or there but not as often as we think. Certain things about human behavior and life are predictable. And that applies to Canadian Figure Skaters as well. Because even though they’re GOATs they’re still humans. 

So what does make sense? If you think about it, it’s quite obvious and it’s amazingly simple and all the pieces fit. And when you figure it out, everyone relaxes because it was right in front of our eyes the whole time. We were just too busy over-analyzing everything to see it.

The only thing that makes sense here is that Scott and Tessa are together and they have been since the comeback and they are denying it publicly. How simple is that? Think about it. Everything fits right? Yes, even Jackie.

Once we find something that fits, suddenly our questions have answers. Now we don’t have to wonder about all the hugs and touching and the lovely words and him kissing her neck. It all makes perfect sense. It makes the whole bus question make sense because we know why they were on the same bus. The question of where Scott is living now makes total sense. He’s living at T’s house but he doesn’t want to say that officially because they haven’t officially announced anything. It makes sense now of why they’re spending all this time together. It explains how they’re going to spend all this time together touring the world and still manage to make other relationships work even though they’ve said before that it doesn’t work. (Hint: there won’t be other relationships to maintain). It makes sense now why they haven’t dated anyone in three years. It makes sense why we couldn’t figure out exactly when they broke up in Japan. Or why they broke up. And how come we were the only ones that didn’t notice anything wrong with them.  And even though we don’t necessarily agree with it, I think we can understand why they are denying it. I may not like it, but I do understand that it may be the only way they can maintain some semblance of privacy and keep the public’s attention where it should be: On their skating.

What about Jackie? Is it possible that we may be overanalyzing that a bit? If we knew Scott and Tessa were together would we even be questioning why Jackie was there? Of course not. Who cares? None of us can answer why Jackie was in Nashville or Toronto. We don’t know why Scott was in Florida. The way some people are trying to explain it,(Scott and Jackie are dating) does NOT make sense. But seriously, are we supposed to be watching them this closely that we notice all these little meaningless details? Of course not!  Not everything in life has an explanation or needs an explanation. Not everything in Scott and Tessa’s world has something to do with dating and relationships. Sometimes its about something different that we don’t know about. And it’s none of our business anyway. This is not a television show where everything ties together with a neat little bow and eventually makes perfect sense. This is real life. 

See how easy that all is? No more trying to figure out when they had the time to start a new relationship. No more trying to figure out how they will make a long distance relationship work. No more trying to understand Scott’s motivation for dating a married woman. Or figuring out when Scott and Tessa broke up. Or how long Jackie and her husband have been separated . Or how Jackie could possibly be okay with the way Scott and Tessa act like they’re in love with each other. We can’t answer those questions because they aren’t real and they don’t apply to this situation. Scott and Jackie aren’t dating. Three pictures can’t possibly tell you everything you need to know about a situation. Go back and look through your dash. See all those gifsets of Scott and Tessa skating. Or them saying lovely things about each other. Or looking at each other in that way they do. Or making plans for upcoming tours . THAT makes sense. Because that is real. 

Maybe we should take a clue from Scott and Tessa themselves. They seem very happy to me. I don’t look at Scott and see dead eyes. I don’t see a guilty look on his face. I see two people who obviously love each other. You have to admit that it makes sense. Seriously, what questions cannot be answered? It’s all very simple, right?

 Occam’s Razor -  Suppose there exist two explanations for an occurrence. In this case the one that requires the least speculation is usually better. Another way of saying it is that the more assumptions you have to make, the more unlikely an explanation. 

How many assumptions must be made to make Scott and Jackie make sense? A LOT! Trust me. 

 KISS (Keep it simple, stupid!)

[mst3kproject]

1105: The Beast of Hollow Mountain

I have a personal fucking grudge against this movie.  When I was… I dunno, maybe six or seven, I went to an event at the city zoo that featured a talk by paleontologist Robert Bakker (I still have the Ornithomimus he drew for me) and a screening of an absolutely, non-ironically fantastic movie about cowboys and dinosaurs in Mexico.  Since I was a child, I never bothered to remember the title of this film and so years later when I fondly remembered it, of course I couldn’t find it to watch it again. Until one day, flipping through banged-up VHS tapes at a flea market I happened across The Beast of Hollow Mountain… cowboys and dinosaurs in Mexico?  This had to be it!

I was wrong.  I was so, so wrong.  This movie has been on my Episodes that Never Were radar since the inception of this blog, and I was delighted that Season Eleven actually used it at the same time as being slightly annoyed that they used it first.  No matter.  It richly deserves everything Jonah and the bots threw at it.

There are these two guys, Jimmy and Felipe, who own a ranch. Jimmy keeps flirting with a woman named Sarita.  She’s supposed to be marrying this other guy called Enrique, who doesn’t like Jimmy and tries to undermine his ranching business so he’ll be forced to return to Texas, but of course Sarita secretly likes the smiling white guy better than the grumpy Latino. There’s also a comic relief drunk, Pancho, who might be funny if it weren’t for the fact that he’s a grieving widower raising a very young child, which kind of undercuts the joke.  We watch these people go about their lives for at least seventeen hours in which nothing much happens, and then suddenly holy shit motherfucking dinosaur out of nowhere.

The weird masked people in that one scene are chinelos dancers, which is interesting in that it gives us an exact location for this story: the little Mexican state of Morelos. This area is rather far south of the US-Mexico border and known more for its sugar cane than its cattle ranching, but it does appear to have mountains, so we’re on firmer geographical ground here than in Beginning of the End.  The masks and robes the dancers wear were originally designed to make fun of Europeans, so it’s kind of fitting that the whole display reduces Jonah, Kinga, and Max to terrified weeping.

If you only look at the first three quarters of the movie, The Beast of Hollow Mountain is an unremarkable, laid-back little western about an upstart rancher competing with the local cattle baron in both economics and love.  There are probably a lot of movies that have this as their only plot, and they do just fine for people who like westerns, I guess.  In this particular movie, however, it’s all just killing time. When I reviewed Avalanche a few weeks back I complained that all the effort getting us to invest in the characters is ultimately pointless because none of those stories will be resolved.  Beast of Hollow Mountain is slightly better, in that it does resolve the problems it has set up for the characters, but it does so via tyrannosaurus [r]ex machina.

The movie does make some attempt to hint at the existence of the dinosaur, but it’s pathetically ineffective.  There are superstitions that the mountain is haunted, and cattle are disappearing – but we see that Enrique is encouraging the rumors and possibly stealing the cows as he tries to force Jimmy to leave town.  Occam’s razor tells us that a jealous rival is a much more likely explanation than a dinosaur.  Actual evidence of the monster, such as footprints, cow bones in places cows could not possibly go, or never-believed eyewitness accounts from the local drunks, is completely lacking.

It’s pretty obvious that the reason the dinosaur never appears until the last few minutes of the film is because animation is expensive and that’s all they could afford.  That’s fine, but a lack of budget shouldn’t have gotten in the way of the foreshadowing!  You can make a respectable dinosaur footprint with a shovel and an eye for artistic detail.  Have a couple of prop guys drape a fake cow skeleton over a tree branch, and presto, instant mystery!  And if you need unlikely eyewitness accounts, you’ve already got a town drunk who could be laughed at for it, in the form of Pancho!   You could even do that stupid joke, as seen in god only knows how many other movies, where seeing the dinosaur makes him throw a bottle away and swear to never touch another drop!

It seems so obvious that a movie called The Beast of Hollow Mountain would want to include some clues to the nature of the titular beast before we actually see it, I can’t imagine why they didn’t.  Maybe they figured they were building suspense?  If so, all they actually accomplish is, as Jonah and the bots repeatedly note, making us doubt that there will be any beast in this movie at all.  By the time we get to its appearance, it seems completely wrong that there would suddenly be a dinosaur in what has so far been a story with no fantastical elements.

The other problem with only pulling the dinosaur out at the end of the movie is that, as I mentioned above, it’s a deus ex machina, an easy solution to the characters’ problems that doesn’t feel like part of the same world.  After we’ve watched the rivalry between Jimmy and Enrique for an hour, the satisfying way to end this story would be to have them resolve their differences, perhaps out of mutual love of Sarita and a desire to make her happy. You could even include the dinosaur in this, by having Enrique forgive Jimmy out of gratitude for saving his life. Instead, the dinosaur kills Enrique, leaving Jimmy free to do whatever he likes without having to address his own problems!  It’s as lazy as having him wake up at the end and discover that Enrique was only a bad dream.

When you refuse to foreshadow, you also leave the audience wondering why there is apparently one dinosaur wandering around in Mexico somewhere.  You can’t just pull one dinosaur out of the movie’s ass and not have some kind of explanation!  Eegah! had one caveman in the deserts outside Palm Springs but offered the backstory that he was the last of a clan whose lives had been greatly lengthened by the sulfur springs.  Other movies give us dinosaurs that come out of lost valleys or the centre of the earth or something.  Is that what ‘Hollow Mountain’ is supposed to be?  A portal to a lost land?  If so, I think that deserved at least a few seconds of screen time!

Outside of its lazy storytelling, I guess The Beast of Hollow Mountain really isn’t badly-made. The costumes, including those on the extras, are gorgeous, and between those and the chinelos dancers I suspect the film-makers just went to a town in Morelos and said, “who wants to be in a movie?”  The characters are all pretty one-note but the actors do their best. Mario Navarro as Panchito isn’t nearly as annoying as he was in The Black Scorpion, and Patricia Medina as Sarita does manage to seem like she’s struggling between her commitment to Enrique and her crush on Jimmy.  The worst performance in the movie is probably given by Jimmy himself, played by Guy Madison.  He does ‘smiling mellow cowpoke’ in every single scene, including those that really would have benefitted from some gravitas.

The dinosaur itself is… eh, it’s not that bad.  I feel like I’ve probably waited longer for worse dinosaurs (Lost Continent comes to mind).  I do like stop motion in general and I respect the effort that goes into creating it.  The problem in The Beast of Hollow Mountain isn’t so much the animation itself as what they chose to animate – why the emphasis on the dinosaur’s flailing tongue?  They also failed entirely to make it look as if the dinosaur is occupying the same space as the humans.  Either the puppet or the actors is always horribly out of focus, which might be an attempt to suggest depth.  If so, it doesn’t work.

Then for the closeups, they have dinosaur puppet arms and feet. These are simply terrible.  They don’t match the stop-motion creature in anatomy, movement, or implied size.

It’s pretty obvious what went wrong with this movie.  Somebody came up with a really cool idea for a popcorn flick – cowboys and dinosaurs, you guys!  Everybody else loved it, but as they tried to bring it to fruition, they realized it was also a really expensive idea, and tried to lower the cost by increasing the cowboy-to-dinosaur ratio.  By the time they got to something they could afford, there were only five minutes of dinosaur left.  As I observed in my review of Future War, sometimes movie-makers really need to just step back and say, “no, guys, this is just not gonna work.”

In this case, the ‘somebody’ with the great idea was stop motion pioneer Willis O’Brien, who wrote a script he called The Valley of Mists.  I’ve never read it but I know for a fact that The Beast of Hollow Mountain didn’t come anywhere near doing it justice – because thirteen years later, O’Brien’s protégé Ray Harryhausen did the animation for the remake, The Valley of Gwangi. You guessed it, that's the fucking awesome cowboys-and-dinosaurs movie I remembered from my youth!  If you were disappointed by The Beast of Hollow Mountain, I highly recommend giving The Valley of Gwangi a look.  It’s got action, adventure, romance, special effects so groundbreaking that the Jurassic Park franchise has actually paid homage to them more than once, and is the guaranteed cure for all your Beast-of-Hollow-Mountain-related blues!

[junkobears]

Here Lies Dreaded V3 Discourse

So I have seemed to cause a huge kerfuffle in the hardcore Ouma conspiracy theorists standom, and a banal (if condescending, but seeing the response to it honestly justifies it more than anything now. “Don’t dish it out if you can’t take it”, you better believe I can take it and will now PROPERLY dish it out right back at you) comment about one of Tsumugi’s anime references has led to someone launching a hilariously personal attack at me for Daring To Disagree With A Theory That Was Posted On A Public Website. Someone who I wasn’t even initially responding too, at that. And has now blocked me before even allowing me to respond and clarify my original comments. Don’t want to deal with the consequences of being a repugnant, rude person I guess? Shock and surprise for Tumblr.

The link to the post is here, but I’ve taken the liberty to screenshot it just in case it gets deleted later, in hope that maybe there’ll be some reflection on this person’s part that this really is not an acceptable way to respond to people who have a dissenting opinion? Anyways, I will be responding to the personal attack post and that will be the last time I interact with this group, because clearly it’s not worth it to actually have a discussion about our respective ending theories. I ain’t got time beyond this for tedious insecure fucks these days.

Anyways, my response is under the cut to save my poor followers’ dashes. Sorry to drag drama onto my blog but I can’t really let this slide. I’m also tagging @jacks-plays-drv3 just because I assume the twin comes with the other with these two, and I want my response to have been seen.

Screenshot In This Link - This post is long enough without the image taking up more space, haha.

Let’s start with this mess, shall we? And I will go into painstaking detail.

Paragraph 1: So this already starts off with a whole lot of needless aggression and projection. So I’m not even going to attempt to be nice back. But: maybe I haven’t proven anything because I literally had not typed up a response to clarify my original comments @ Jacks yet before the rabid attack dog was unleashed? Like, there was literally no attempt from you to have a discussion that was a genuine offer from me, I was not out to get you actually. I also honestly just laughed at being called shallow, JUST LIKE THAT HORRIBLE CHARACTER TSUMUGI SHIROGANE right off the bat as well. That’s a compliment really, honey. Weirdly I don’t share the same opinions as you do. Tsumugi is my fave and unlike you I actually think about and HAVE analyzed/discussed her character in detail previously, which I would’ve been happy to share had you not immediately went into Blind Raging Idiot Mode. Guess we can’t have it all, huh?

As for needing proof that she makes the Flashback Lights... nevermind the CG that literally shows her making them during Chapter 6, but do you have proof that Monokuma is the person who makes the Lights instead of just placing them for the students? I doubt it, somehow. Cuz a lot of your theories don’t actually have any concrete proof. Quelle surprise. Probably why anyone not immediately on board with your headcanon gets you so goddamn angry, huh? Cuz it’s completely baseless and you know it at heart.

As for the Ouma comments, actually I have read the assorted creator comments regarding his character even if you like to believe I’m a slobbering moron who turned my brain off as soon as I finished V3, so yes I already know that his name was chosen to sound mastermind-like. Maybe this was to emphasize and make his fake mastermind reveal appear more legit on first read? JUST A THOUGHT, SWEETIE. You know the entire fucking point of Chapter 5? You’re so slavishly devoted to your theory that you actually are incapable of reading the basic fucking text from the actual game, but again. Not a surprise. Considering what I’ve read from your blog (really, who are you again? I only knew Jacks’ blog from before all this, so you taking such a personal offense at my comments is honestly hilarious but baffling at the same time. It ain’t all about you, babe.)

As for the lab door, here’s an simpler explanation (Occam’s Razor, look it up): The star sign constellation pattern was there as a hint for the player to connect Ouma’s messages from his dorm room to the vault in Amami’s lab once its opened and you can see the star signs in there. Or perhaps it was designed like that by TDR to make the students make that connection as well in the original script and think that Ouma was the mastermind cuz of the connection to Amami’s lab? Literally, there are a lot of possibilities, cuz it’s a NOTHING DETAIL THAT DOESN’T ACTUALLY MATTER IN THE BIG PICTURE. Considering Kodaka’s track record with writing these games I don’t actually believe it’s anything major, personally. He doesn’t really strike me as the type to hide this completely separate story underneath the actual story we got, and with such vague nothing “”””””””””””clues””””””””””””. You and Jacks do yourselves (well you already do cuz you love to jack yourselves off with how CLEVER AND BETTER you are than the rest of us plebs), sure, in believing otherwise (You have way too much faith in him as a writer. Or you’re desperately trying to pretend V3 wasn’t poorly written cuz you don’t like the Ch. 6 twist) but also realize that its nothing more than extrapolation on your part that it actually means anything beyond the.... SHALLOW (horror scream) connection given in-game.

And really, who the fuck cares if it doesn’t match the title of ‘Supreme Leader’? It’s already a ridiculous talent as it stands already. The entire point of his character is that everything about him, his motives and his talent is contradictory and weird. That’s why I like him, actually. He isn’t an abused martyr who never lies like you goons believe and he also isn’t the evil monstrous chessmaster some of the fandom thinks. It’s Complex Motives™ .

Anyways moving on. Pointing out an anime reference =/= DISREGARDING PEOPLE’S ANALYSIS. Pointing out that most of the plot leads up to and supports the fiction twist =/= uncritically agreeing with everything Tsumugi says. Actually, after examining the game’s story for myself I came to the conclusion that all the clues in it really only support her version of the story, really. There are a few things I think she lied about, but it is not CONCLUSIVELY proven she lied in my opinion and so I don’t really give a fucking toss until new canon comes out and reveals more of the V3 story. Oumatwin don’t real, gurl. If there was actually anything in-game beyond one obvious joke line in the NON-CANON!!!!!!! bonus mode supporting that he existed, maybe I’d respect your theory more. Even though you don’t deserve respect after your little tantrum. 

Paragraph 2: Jesus I already am investing way too much time into this response at people who don’t actually deserve it, oh well. But laughing hard at the attempt to try and act as if you weren’t being a snobby asshole with your comments. Again, HUGE AMOUNTS OF PROJECTION at me about things I literally have never done and said. I have never interacted with you or Jacks prior to my initial comment. No fucking clue why you brought up the SaiOuma shit, cuz I don’t even LIKE Saihara as a character and don’t like that fujobait ship in the slightest? But I guess it’s easier to assume that all your critics are the exact same fucking person with the same opinions, so you can feel more persecuted, huh? You literally did not even wait for me to respond or check my blog that would’ve easily disproven these dumb-as-fuck assumptions. And get off the fucking high horse (pun completely intended), you lot are not the only people in this fandom who are capable of critical thought. How completely self-obsessed can you be? 

For someone who claims to have a lot of critical thinking skills compared to this nasty fandom, you really are terrible at parsing other people’s words. You fucking know when I said “group of anime fans” that I was referring to Team Danganronpa, the organization literally mentioned in game as running the game. The group Tsumugi is part of. She literally has a company badge FFS. THEY ARE ANIME FANS. THEY ALL STARTED KILLING GAMES CUZ THEY ALL LOVE THIS SHITTY SERIES. I can’t believe this had to be explained. And the rest of this paragraph word salad is the most pedantic argument. It’s really not hard to believe an organization in this series would have access to all this tech. And yes, it’s a popular TV show in-universe, of course it’ll have funding. And the whole damn point of the ending is that the V3 world is consuming fiction the wrong way by having real-life killing games, missing the entire point of the DR series and fiction in general? What’s your actual point?

Paragraph 3: Again more assumptions, I wasn’t ‘crying’ about being called gullible. I was just pointing it out as part of your extremely unnecessary smug dismissal of my post. That you really haven’t disproved at all, btw. Honestly the childish response you both had to me just makes me laugh out of pity more than anything. And if I was really upset I wouldn’t have offered to have a discussion with you or even continued to reply after Jacks initial (vague) post about what I said. So don’t put words in my mouth. And yes my analysis was not completed in my initial comments. It’s Tumblr fucking replies, I can’t fit the entire fucking dissertation of Tsumugi opinions in there for you to jeer at in there. Again, I offered to share my opinions and got this as a response, so lol. You are your own worst enemy when it comes to trying to get people to take you and your theories seriously. 

Paragraph 4: Especially since you immediately jump to PULLING THINGS OUT OF YOUR ASS (seriously, fucking snorted at this part. I want this whole diatribe on my fucking gravestone. It’s by far the most hilariously petty thing ever said about me on this site.) instead of letting me explain my position. If you just want to be in the creepy cult Oumatwin echo chamber you should’ve just said and blocked me ASAP instead of word salading vague bullshit justifications for why actually people who disagree with you are just stupid crybabies who can never hope to understand your genius. Again, my initial comments didn’t whine about not being taken seriously at all, I was pointing out the hypocrisy/rudeness is all. And again, get off the high horse about critical thinking. I have thought about Tsumugi’s character and how she relates to the over-arching plot and how truthful it is, and the overall ‘mystery’ of V3 (spoiler: there is none. it was all solved by chapter 6). I have thought about this game. In fact I dedicate too much time to critical analysis of this series that doesn’t actually deserve it cuz lately I find Kodaka to be a hack writer. Your assumptions are flat-out wrong, dear. And AGAIN. I WOULD’VE. SHARED AND DISCUSSED IN MORE DETAIL HAD I BEEN GIVEN THE OPPORTUNITY. But rude fucks gonna vomit shit out of their mouth cuz they have literally no self-control and have meltdowns at the slightest difference of opinion, I guess. 

Your extreme hatred for Tsumugi as a character truly shines through. Clearly no thought has been put into her from your end, even though you and Jacks rage about people not taking Ouma seriously as a character. Double standards as always with fujos. Nothing I’m not used too, she is incredibly unpopular in this fandom. And everyone is entitled to their own opinions. So I’m not even mad at that. I have never said otherwise. Even you and Jacks are valid in having your own theories and thoughts. The ending of V3 is designed entirely so everyone can analyze the game for themselves and draw their own conclusions about the story and themes. That’s the whole point. Even though I personally dislike that as a writing decision on Kodaka’s part because I would prefer the story to be conclusively ended and the epilogue is a giant turd that misses the entire point of Chapter 6 and enables shit (anal pun intended, dumbass) like this to start spreading as “Analysis”. But hey, to each their own.

However I will not be interacting with either of you again after this post though, even though I was willing to discuss beforehand, because you both have shown yourselves to be incredibly vile with the way you approach other people in this fandom, and especially those who don’t share your conspiracy theory. Despite the absolutely ironic comments I’ve seen from Oumanous in their later, also terrible posts about how you need to understand your opponent before engaging, which they literally failed entirely to do before engaging the firing squad at me and other commentators who responded. So much for the sanctity of discussion, huh? Enjoy your circlejerk. Everyone else who follows me in this fandom though? Please consider blocking these two if you are also a sane human being who is capable of polite discussion/disagreements. They are not worth your time otherwise. They were really not worth my time writing this post, but I felt I had to say something.

In conclusion: Out with the both of you.

[zillion-ronald-manus]

Hey wait just a hot fucking minute.

So I’ve been watching Mr. Bones Lets plays for the last 6 years and I just realized something

You see that guy there? Blue eyes. Any other skeletons with blue eyes that come to mind?

This guy right here, but there’s more to this than you might think.

In the penultimate mission of Mr. Bones, our titular main character is accosted by another, more serious skeleton. The only way for him to defeat the evil squelette is to tell jokes to him, usually knock knock jokes or puns. Obviously, this is what sans was based on.

But that begs the question, if Sans is Mr Bones, then why does Sans only have one blue eye? and I think I have the answer to that as well. If you think back to when you played Undertale (of course you have) then you’d remember there’s one other character whose eyes glow blue when you fight them

THAT’S RIGHT! Asgore, king of the monsters, is Sans’ ACTUAL Brother, the monster who inherited Mr Bones’s Powers.

but that supposedly begs another question, where did Papyrus come from? part of the mystery is that Sans and Papyrus came into Snowdin at the same time, with no one knowing where they came from. For this, we have to consider Gaster.

In Gaster’s hidden DT Labs Data File, we can find that he’s speaking to two people. The common theory is that it’s some combination of Sans, Papyrus, and/or Alphys. While I don’t agree, it’s quite obvious that He was talking to Alphys and an unidentified third party. But who could that be? Using Occams Razor, we can say that the less assumptions we have to make, the more likely something is to be true. Since we’re already going to assume that everything I’ve said is true (beacuase it is) then we’re going to assume that Mr. Bones is canon in the Undertale universe. If Mr Bones’s eyes got passed down to his descendants, why wouldn’t his cohort’s? Because his eyes don’t work.

That’s right, the blind guitarman who taught Mr Bones the power of blues is also his undeathlong buddy, Papyrus.

Now you might think “but wait, that’s not a skeleton, that’s a man!” and I concede that you’re right. One thing you have yet to consider is that every man has a skeleton inside him, and since Mr Bones was on the run from a ruthlessly murderous skeleton army, we can only assume that the army met this man, and was much less receptive to the blues than Mr. Bones. as such, the Blind Man was killed and revived by the villain of Mr. Bones, but he then became good when that villain died and stopped controlling the skeleton army, recognizing the skeleton he taught the blues as a man, soon becoming best friends.

After years of being a skeleton, his memories started to fade and he adopted the name “Papyrus” after forgetting his own.

That’s all well and good, but how did Mr. Bones become Sans Undertale? Mr. Bones is a whole human skeleton, while Sand is the size of a human child, height-and-width-wise. For that, we’ll have to go back to gaster, or more specifically the Determination Machine.

My Theory is that Mr. Bones was attempting to return to humanity through the Determination Machine, but it failed. The results split him in two, with half of him (mentally and physically) remained a skeleton, while the other half turned into a spirit and implanted itself into Asgore’s mind.

But wait, what are the implications of this split and the spirit manifesting into Asgore?

Though Sans does have his understated moments, one could call them Blue, he’s primarily a man of jokes, which was one half of Mr Bones’s personality.

Obviously, the other half of Mr. Bones, a skeleton with a blue heart and a penchant for the blues, put itself into Asgore. By the time we meet Asgore in the game proper, he’s rather glum about having to murder young children. One could even call him rather blue.

And for more proof that Sans and Papyrus aren’t related by a similar or same link? It’s all in the music. If you listen to Megalovania, or even The Song That Might Play When You Fight Sans, you can see that they both heavily feature guitars, which while not of the Blues Variety, were definitely a major theme of Mr. Bones.

However, Papyrus’s theme, and his fight theme, Bonetrousle, prominently features a drumbeat as part of the song. Sans’s does as well, but it’s more in the background due to all the other instruments layering over each other. this highlights their connection through music that Asgore does not have, as that is how they bonded in the first place. The drums representing their mutual battle against the villain from Mr. Bones’s videogame, Mr. Bones, with the guitar representing that Mr. Bones still remembers the guitar, because he was taught how to play it while he was a skeleton instead of a human.

And that my friends, is my Game Thoery dissertation on why Sans AND Asgore from Undertale are actually Mr. Bones.

[lonelypond]

Casual Lunacy, Ch. 26

Love Live, NicoMaki, 2K, 26/?

Friction, We Hit Some

The walk to the MidQuads was too solitary, even with company, Eli realized. Nozomi was distant, muttering and frowning, occasionally stopping to stare back at where they’d been. Eli had learned fairly early that prodding Nozomi for insights only led to convoluted and frustrating cul de sacs where Eli ended up knowing less than she had at the beginning of the conversation. Patience was the key to unlocking the secrets and thoughts Nozomi held back. Patience and trust. Eli twirled through a series of brisé en avant, serving the double purpose of working through some frustration and attracting Nozomi’s attention.

“Very pretty, Eli-chi.” Nozomi smiled, her green eyes suddenly here in the now, appreciative.

Eli curtsied, “Thank you.”

Nozomi’s knowing smirk was one of the things Eli liked best about her, but it could be disconcerting when turned on her, “I know you’re just trying to distract me.” A wink softened the accusation, “Doing a good job of it too.”

Eli took Nozomi’s arm and turned onto the path to her dorm, “Thank you.”

Nozomi leaned into Eli’s side, “But wouldn’t knowing why Erena and her friends are bothering Hanayo’s girlfriend help us figure out how to stop them?”

Eli shook her head, blue eyes kind but firm, “We can’t just invade their privacy. Rin obviously doesn’t want to talk about it.”

“No.” Nozomi refused to be convinced, “Hanayo obviously doesn’t want Rin to talk about it. That’s something different, Eli-chi.”

Eli shrugged, “Doesn’t matter, does it. Either way, they don’t want to tell us.”

Nozomi opened the main door to the dorm, “I’m not just curious, you know. I want to help. And the more we know, the more we can.”

Eli followed Nozomi up the stairs, “I know. But we have to be patient.”

Once in her room, Nozomi knelt at her table, pulling out her cards, forcing thoughts and frustration away so they wouldn’t weight the reading, “Time to see what the cards will tell me, since no one else is talking.”

Eli shut the door quietly and stood for a minute, considering what to say, “Want some tea?”

Nozomi nodded, shuffling, “What did Hanayo tell you when you confronted her?”

Eli sighed. She really did trustNozomi, but she also knew her girlfriend was not one to let curiosity fester. “Not much. Just that she was protecting someone too.”

“Rin. That’s obvious. And Rin doesn’t seem happy about it. She was cute though.” Nozomi put the cards down. “And Nico didn’t know Hanayo before Maki, I’m certain of that, even though she claims Hanayo’s a regular at the Cup o’.”

Eli filled and plugged in the electric tea kettle, letting busywork soothe her jitters, prepping two mugs of cardamon black tea. Warming would help. Nozomi continued, “And Nico seemed very concerned. And Hanayo stayed after we left to talk to her.” Nozomi frowned, pulling a card, but leaving it unturned, “And I know Nico hasn’t been bitten by anything that wasn’t a Kashima and Kashima’s not a werewolf. Or a vampire.”

Eli froze, Nozomi’s comment knocked something off the shelf of her memory, “Hanayo asked me, the first time I met her, if you were a werewolf. She seemed really nervous about it.”

Nozomi took a steadying breath and turned over the card. The Moon. A wolf and a dog who might be howling at it. A strange, fairly random mystic lobster to add to the odd feel. “Could the explanation be that easy?” Nozomi whispered to herself, amazed at the thought. “Is there only one redhead?”

“Nozomi?” Eli had poured the tea, setting it next to Nozomi’s hand.

Nozomi met Eli’s gaze. “Werewolves. I’m not a werewolf. But Rin and Maki are.”

“No way.” Eli crossed her arms over her chest, jittery again, “That only happens in movies.”

“Probably not like the movies,” Nozomi continued, picking up the card, “obviously not like the movies. Movie werewolves are never that cute.” Nozomi tapped the card against her chin, “And Nico was missing the day after the full moon, with some kind of a mystery crisis that involved driving to her girlfriend’s family cabin in Wisconsin.”

“That’s a stretch, Nozomi. Surely there aren’t wolves roaming the campus in the d..dark once a month.” Eli sat on Nozomi’s bed, eyes clouded, tea ignored.

Nozomi hummed happily, suddenly sure all the pieces were in place.“Occam’s Razor, Eli-chi. It makes the most sense.”

“Werewolves make the most sense?” Eli couldn’t hide her disbelief, hugging Nozomi’s pillow. Fangs had been giving her enough nightmares, she didn’t need werewolves roaming campus, let alone her sleepscapes.

“You haven’t questioned my insights…or my cards...” Nozomi countered.

“There’s rational explanations....you could just be...it’s not unnatural…” Eli stared wide eyed at Nozomi, not sure how to react to this new possibility.

“Or maybe it is a natural thing.” Nozomi said very quietly, leaning back against Eli’s knees, moon card still in her hand.

“Werewolves…” Eli closed her eyes, “really?”

Nozomi sighed, turning to face Eli, leaning on the bed, “We need to be open to possibilities.”

Eli shook her head, contradicting. “We need to be open to proof.”

“Are you going to ask Hanayo. Or Rin? Or Maki.” Nozomi tilted her head up, green eyes curious.

Eli felt punchdrunk, confused, her lips tight with tension, only able to shrug helplessly as her mind imagined conversations, each segueing into visions of darkness and moving fog that left her shuddering.

Rin was frustrated. So frustrated. People staring at her, poking at her, taking videos, wanting to know things about her, worrying Kayochin...Rin sat on the edge of the bunk bed, staring out the window, watching people walking along the Lakefill, friends playing in the snow. She jumped down, restless, growling, hairs on the back of her neck starting to lift. Locked up, she’d never felt locked up like this before, unable to...run, all because she promised Kayochin. Rin dropped into a hunched ball, spasms suddenly shaking her and shooting pains. Growls turned to whimpers, eyelids closed over swirling neon green and growls turned into whimpering howls. There was no joy triggering this sensation, no thrill to leap toward. The door opened and Rin could see Kayochin in front of her, but as she fell to her side, spasms taking over, she knew this time there would be no promise kept.

Maki and Nico, now clothed, eyed each other warily from opposite sides of kitchen table. Nico slowly stretched her right hand toward Maki, Maki mirroring the motion with her left. When their fingertips touched, Maki grinned while Nico shook her head, “We have to leave the apartment. Do serious things.”

Maki captured Nico’s hand with a quick grab, “This is serious.”

Nico leaned forward and kissed the side of Maki’s index finger, “Don’t you have schoolwork to do? Nico has a busy Fangs weekend ahead and several scenes to rehearse for Acting Class.”

Maki responded in kind, letting her lips linger on the back of Nico’s hand, enjoying the shiver that moved through her girlfriend, “I’ll be fine. I’m a quick study.”

Nico ignored the tingle, making sure her voice was even and stern.“Then why was your mother worried enough about your schoolwork to ground you?”

Maki sighed and collapsed back into her chair, Nico’s hand still in hers, “I don’t need much time. It’s only a paper…”

“Paper? For?” Nico realized she didn’t know anything about Maki’s class schedule. Or major.

“Cognitive psychology.” Maki muttered.

“Cognitive psychology?” Nico remembered something from several days ago, her free hand going to the healed cut on her cheek, “Are you really going to be a doctor?”

“Probably.” Maki dropped her head to the table, Nico’s hand nestled under her cheek.

“Probably?” Nico’s voice was sounding more and more dissatisfied. Maki’s attitude puzzled her, “Don’t you kind of have to be a doctor on purpose? They don’t just discover you on a street corner and say, hey, academic genius, be the next Dr. Mae Jemison.”

“Can’t we talk about how cute you are? How kissable? You like that. I like that.” Maki tilted her head, eyes bright and hopeful, lips in a spoiled, expectant pout Nico was becoming very familiar with.

“No.” Firm, Nico was proud of herself as her memories of the morning started throwing themselves at her determination.

Maki huffed and sat up, arms crossed, “My parents are both doctors.”

Oh, Nico was struck by belated embarrassment, “I called your mother Mrs. She probably thinks I’m an idiot.”

Maki shook her head, “She knows I never tell people anything.”

“Plus,” and Nico worked gentle chiding into her tones, “You were a wolf both times I saw her. Not great for introductions.” Maki’s howled reply sounded aggrieved, but Nico couldn’t help smiling a little at the still pouting redhead, “You were cute. And you owe me a dress.”

“Let’s go shopping.” Maki stood, eager to be doing anything that didn’t involve quizzes.

Nico never minded shopping, even if it only turned into window shopping. But not on a weekday. She stayed in her seat. “Nico has class in 40 minutes. And rehearsal. And work.”

Maki scrubbed her fingers through her hair, barely thwarting a growl. “You’re too busy, Nico.”

Nico moved in front of Maki, hands at the redhead’s waist, Maki stilled instantly, eyes only for Nico. This time, Nico made sure flirtatious notes sounded, “Nico didn’t plan for a smart, sexy girlfriend.” Maki leaned in for a kiss and Nico’s lips met hers, one hand raking through Maki’s hair before she pulled away. “I want us to be together as often as we can, pretty girl, but Nico had things she was doing before you came into the coffeeshop. And so did you.”

“I don’t care.” Maki stole another kiss.

Nico stepped back, hands on her hips, “You sound like a little kid.”

Maki shook herself, throwing out her arms, before rubbing her forehead with an exasperated sigh, “I’m sorry, Nico. I know you’re busy…” She paused. “I’m just excited.” Maki ducked her head and smiled, a little shy, fang peeking out, “About us. About everything. It all...thrums, I guess.” Her eyes glowed at Nico, lavender shot through with lazy, sexy, swirls of green that Nico had to force herself not to swim in.

“You can stop by Nico’s work tonight.” Compromise offered, and then Nico paused, scowling, “No iced drinks.” Maki snorted as Nico continued, “You need to warm Nico up after her long, busy, lonely day. And tomorrow night, I can go to your place to study my lines while you work on your paper, if that’s okay with your parents.”

Maki felt her shoulders relax, this was going to be okay, she hadn’t completely put Nico off. She pulled Nico into a hug, “Stay over tomorrow? Please.”

Nico let herself enjoy the nearness for just a few minutes. “No treehouse. And your parents have to be okay with it.”

Maki nodded, closing her eyes and making as many sense memories of this moment as she could. Nico felt so right in her arms, sable hair with subtle lavender hints tickling her nose. Her phone buzzed in her pocket and she grimaced, pulling it out to look at the lockscreen with its Nico in an overstuffed parka wallpaper. Hanayo.

“Hey, Hanayo. What’s up?”

Nico couldn’t hear the other side of the phone call, but Maki’s expression became more and more alarmed as she let the other woman just talk.

“Are you all right?” More things Nico couldn’t hear, but Maki seemed relieved by something, “I’ll be right there. Don’t worry. Stay with her.” Maki ended the call, one arm still holding Nico, “I have to go.”

“Is Rin okay?” Nico took a guess.

“I don’t know.” Maki moved quickly, gathering her wallet and keys, shoving her bobble hat on her head, “She won’t change back. Hanayo doesn’t know if it was an involuntary transformation.” Maki put her hands in her pockets, obviously troubled, “Rin’s never lost control before.”

“Be careful.” Nico’s firm kiss was a ward against harm and a private invitation, “Text me when you know more.”

“I will.” Maki held Nico tight enough to squeeze the breath out of her. Then she bolted.

Nico’s voice was a little weak but she tried, “Take care of yourself, pretty girl. Nico is looking forward to being warmed up later.”

Maki paused halfway out the door, her wink flirty mischief, “You’ll melt.”

Nico laughed, glad Maki could still be a little silly. She wondered if Tsubasa had anything to do with Rin’s situation. And what Maki had meant by ‘thrums.’

A/N: Howdy!Thanks for your patience. One Idol Protection Program Christmas short fluff added to that AU. And a chunk of the larger Christmas project sorted.Speaking of IPP, after the St. Snow centric episodes of LL Sunshine, I'm feeling guilty about having broken up Leah and Ruby and considering if I need to AU my AU...which is a weird feeling.Hope your December is at least a little merry.

[motorcyclegirlfriends]

Public Supergirl Announcement:

Poking holes in the concept of Kara’s glasses effectively hiding her identity, saying, “this character would be too smart not to know so they must have secretly figured it out by now” is like poking holes in the science of Supergirl’s powers and saying “there’s no biological way for heat to shoot out of someone’s eyes in a beam, so Kara’s powers don’t actually work in the show. Kara is a magician and it’s an illusion.”

It just doesn’t make sense, given the assumed suspension of disbelief that goes along with these things.

For one, Kara’s disguise is canonically very effective (Like, it’s worked so far. Just accept it), but also importantly, whether or not someone can see through Kara’s disguise does not depend on how intelligent they are.

It depends on:

A. If they notice something that doesn’t add up (or adds up too well),

B. If they have reason and opportunity to really think about why it doesn’t add up,

and C. If when they do wonder why it doesn’t add up, there isn’t an available answer that is simpler than “my friend is actually secretly a superhero.”

Notice that this list doesn’t include “is smart enough to suddenly see through Kara’s disguise for no reason, when they couldn’t before” because all of these characters are highly intelligent and would have figured it out immediately if it were a factor.

It’s just not obvious that Kara looks exactly like Supergirl in this world, or everyone would just already know.

The show makes some effort to make it seem kind of believable, but it’s still a fact of the universe as illogical and yet very canon as Kara’s flying capabilities are. 

Just because Maggie said the glasses aren’t a very good disguise doesn’t mean they actually don’t work. It was more the show making fun of itself than anything.

Maggie didn’t figure it out because Kara looks like Supergirl. She figured it out because Alex was weirdly distraught over Supergirl, and Maggie tried to figure out why.

A. Maggie notices that Alex is acting unexpectedly and emotionally, and it caused her to break it off with Maggie.

B. This confusing reaction of Alex’s impacted Maggie greatly, so she spent time thinking about what happened, because figuring it out was important.

C. It’s hard to know exactly how Maggie got rid of other, simpler possibilities, but we were told it was something like  “Alex cares about Supergirl. But Alex only cares this intensely about one person, Kara. It’s more likely that Kara and Supergirl are the same person than it is that Alex cares about someone else this much.”

When Cat figured it out:

A. Noticed that Kara slipped up by saying she heard someone who she couldn’t have heard

B. Was grateful to Kara for saving her job, surprised at how effective she was, and had promised to get to know Kara better. So she had reason to go over everything, especially since she was being forced to reevaluate how she sees Kara and was probably trying to Figure Her Out.

C. Cat seemed to comb through a lot of information that didn’t match up with Kara. Things she noticed (A) but didn’t have motivation (B) to figure out until Kara surprised her. This left Cat with remembering a lot of instances of things that didn’t add up about Kara that she was trying to understand all at once. So she came up with this comparatively simple conclusion, this one answer that fits everything rather than a different answer for each oddity.

From this point on, after Kara is seen with Supergirl, the concept is present in Cat’s mind, so all Cat really needs is A. to get the ball rolling.

This is why Cat is the only character who I will accept “secretly knows” headcanons about.

Lucy is an interesting case, where her stating that she didn’t realize Kara was Supergirl was because she didn’t want to know. This implies that she either 

A. Noticed something, B. had reason to think about it and C. came to the right conclusion, on some level, but then suppressed the thought before it was fully formed 

or

A. Noticed something but then, before she could get to B, stopped herself. She had motivation not to look more closely. 

Now. Lets suppose some evidence is presented to Lena, for whom I’ve seen the most “she must know!!!” posts as of late. 

The proposal is that because she’s a genius and she’s been given some evidence, she must necessarily know.

Let’s address a few of these instances.

“I was getting coffee with Kara Danvers when you called.”

A. Did Lena notice that she was getting coffee, of all things, with Supergirl, late at night? I mean probably not, she just almost died. But let’s suppose she did.

B. Did Lena have any comparative reason or time to think about why this weird thing happened? Probably not, since she had important info for Supergirl and also in case you forgot, almost died. But let’s again suppose she did really think about it.

C. Are there no simpler explanations? Well, just off the top of my head, Supergirl is Kara’s biggest source and would be relevant to the article Kara is writing, so it’s not strange to hear that they were together. Even at night. Reporters have weird hours, and superheroes probably would too. Lena herself was working when she called. And if they were busy working at night, they caffeine from coffee would keep them up. Takes a second to figure out, but it’s not as far-fetched as “maybe these two people are actually only one!”

Mon-El and Mike are the same person, an alien and knows both Kara Danvers and Supergirl

Noticed it conceptually, wouldn’t say she’d be thinking about how weird it is since she’s kinda busy, but I’d just say Lena would assume Kara knows all the Important Aliens and people surrounding these alien affairs.

“I flew here...on...on a bus.”

A. Probably too busy thinking about the interview and having her head in business mode to notice. But if she did-

B. Possible “huh weird way to say that” with no extra thought. But if she did-

C. “She was talking about how quickly the bus was going and then forgot the word for bus for a second. It happens.” or just like “She’s nervous for some reason.” like literally anything would make more sense than “She literally traveled here by flight.”

Now the example most often presented for the opposing argument is when Lena realized Rhea said “Gods” instead of “God.” 

But let me show you why she figured it out in this case (beyond ‘the writers wanted drama’).

A. Noticed. Her sole focus was on Rhea and it was followed by a pause in activity, so she would definitely catch it.

B. Had motivation to look further into it because she was actively analyzing her new possible business partner anyway. She had a lot at stake professionally and emotionally (since she felt an emotional pull immediately), so of course she’s on high alert. (Contrast to Kara who is usually rather non-threatening during the context of her slip-ups. Now, if she had made a mistake when she was Supergirl and accusing Lena’s mother, Lena would have been already analyzing Kara and chances of discovery would have been higher.)

C. Rhea being an alien isn’t as far-fetched as Kara being Supergirl (or even Kara being an alien, since Lena thinks she proved she wasn’t one) so I don’t think we need to do as much work on this one. But there are only a couple options for Rhea’s slip up. She’s a human polytheist (somewhat rare, and she’s not exactly the stereotype of one), she accidentally added an ‘s’ as a vocal mistake (but she’s so composed otherwise, so it’s out of character), or she’s an alien (something that is increasingly common and something that is on Lena’s mind due to her new technologies and ideological ponderings as of late. Whereas, conversely, she may not even know that Supergirl having a secret identity is a possibility.)

So I don’t think it’s unrealistic that Lena doesn’t know Kara isn’t Supergirl, once you get past the obvious fact that they have the same face.

And I think, mostly, that once the slip up occurs and assuming the character noticed it and thought about it, people are asking the wrong question. 

It’s not “Are they smart enough to put this together?”

It’s “Is there no other, more reasonable conclusion for them to come to?”

And I think that people keep making this mistake because they’re unwilling to accept that, in Supergirl, Kara Danvers just doesn’t obviously look like Supergirl. 

It’s Occam’s razor. 

The simplest answer is often the correct answer. 

But fans have been applying it to our universe’s rules, when these rules have been redefined in Supergirl’s universe.

Just accept that everyone on Earth 38 just has really poor facial recognition skills.

[jeneelestrange]

So that Mummy Remake....

While I’m happy to see a female monster, there’s something that’s sticking in my craw about this whole thing. Firstly, the fact that Dracula got a sympathetic first person, and we just get a female monster who suddenly appears because “female ambition.” (yes, I know they’re going to pretend the Drac movie didn’t happen, but let’s be real, I’ll bet my left foot one of the male monsters gets a somewhat sympathetic treatment at some point).

But, like....LISTEN to the backstory they gave Ahmunet.  It sounds like Hatshepsut’s reign as described by sexist douchebags. I would normally try for better sources than Wiki, but I do not have the strength to dig up scores of sources to go over her life and the relevant points for a tumblr post so here we fucking go: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hatshepsut http://www.biography.com/people/hatshepsut-9331094 So Thutmose II is a minor son of the pharoah, and to secure him more being likely to be named pharoah, he marries his sister Hatshepsut(it’s gross, but this is why that Egyptian royal incest shit happened--like European royal cousin-marrying multiplied by 1000). By all accounts, he doesn’t do much as pharoah, and even the accomplishments he does have are theorized to have been influenced by his wife Hatshepsut because they have her later hallmarks all over them.

Thutmose II dies. While Egypt is MUCH less sexist than the rest of the ancient world, when it comes to their kingship, they are as sexist as errrrrybody else. Women cannot be the official ruler outright. Thutmose only has his daughter Neferure, and a baby boy born to a concubine. So baby boy is officially co-regent of Egypt, but since he’s....a baby, it makes sense to make Hatshepsut the other co-regent until he’s old enough. This is what basically happens with ALL the Egyptian female pharoahs--they’re waiting it out until the official male heir can rule.

And Hatshepsut is not slinking back and letting a literal baby take credit for the actual governing good she does. She focused on re-opening trade routes that had been compromised since the Hyksos invasion, instead of conquering like many of her predecessors were obsessed with doing. So Egypt gets RICH, and she builds A BUNCH OF SHIT. She’s one of the most prolific builders of the pharaohs. So her face is memorialized on a bunch of shit, all with her wearing the usual pharaoh beard, etc. It’s just like when women were trying to enter the corporate world in the 80′s and all started wearing business suits with giant ass shoulder pads. When your role is precarious in a profession often associated with males, play up your masculine attributes to assert your authority.

She’s one of the most successful pharoahs. But then she died. Everything goes normally until formerly-baby boy Thutmose III takes power, grows old, and his own son starts to become co-regent with him. Listen to this shit:  “Toward the end of the reign of Thutmose III and into the reign of his son, an attempt was made to remove Hatshepsut from certain historical and pharaonic records. This elimination was carried out in the most literal way possible. Her cartouches and images were chiselled off some stone walls, leaving very obvious Hatshepsut-shaped gaps in the artwork.At the Deir el-Bahari temple, Hatshepsut's numerous statues were torn down and in many cases, smashed or disfigured before being buried in a pit. At Karnak, there even was an attempt to wall up her obelisks. While it is clear that much of this rewriting of Hatshepsut's history occurred only during the close of Thutmose III's reign, it is not clear why it happened, other than the typical pattern of self-promotion that existed among the pharaohs and their administrators, or perhaps saving money by not building new monuments for the burial of Thutmose III and instead, using the grand structures built by Hatshepsut. Amenhotep II, the son of Thutmose III, who became a co-regent toward the end of his father's reign, is suspected by some as being the defacer during the end of the reign of a very old pharaoh. He would have had a motive because his position in the royal lineage was not so strong as to assure his elevation to pharaoh. He is documented, further, as having usurped many of Hatshepsut's accomplishments during his own reign. His reign is marked with attempts to break the royal lineage as well, not recording the names of his queens and eliminating the powerful titles and official roles of royal women, such as God's Wife of Amun.[45]

Look just how fucking hard the archaeological community tries to be like “but it wasn’t sexism you guys!!!!!! sometimes later pharaohs just try to systematically erase your memory from all of history!!!!!!!” Which, to my knowledge, has NEVER happened with the exception of Akhenaten and his family--which is understandable because Akh basically declared the native Egyptian religion heresy, made his own brand of monotheism, and forced everyone to worship it and took funding away from existing temples.  Also remember that the Egyptians believed that one of the five parts of a person’s soul was their NAME--and that this part of their soul would live as long as the name was spoke. This was exactly why cartouches WERE A THING, and grandson DESTROYED THEM. So they’re basically saying its totes normal for the most successful female pharoah--and one of the most successful pharaohs period--to be systematically erased from the archaeological record along with every other important woman of the court, because it once happened to the most hated pharaoh in Egyptian history. OR, Occam’s razor you guys, maybe Hatshepsut’s pseudo-grandson was a sexist dick! SO. Let’s review what The Mummy’s trailer said about Ahmunet. 1.) She was the next in line for the throne(LOL EGYPT WAS NOT THAT WOKE BUT OKAY, THEY WERE SUPER PROGRESSIVE OH SO CONVENIENTLY). 2.) But that wasn’t ENOUGH power for her, and she did messed-up shit to get MORE, like she’s the child of Hilary Clinton and a vampire(which, as an addendum, can I say how common it is while looking for links to find articles saying HEY, Hatshepsut did NOT usurp power, she was doing exactly what was expected of her only??? A fucking lot, and can I say how common when I do research into other female rulers, take a guess, it’s a fuckton).

3.) They try to stop her by putting her tomb in some unknown location that is unlikely to be found--not the Valley of the Kings or anything. Would be shocked if they didn’t destroy any mention of her or where her tomb is, because after all, this is a horror movie and this is some “ancient evil.”

Honestly, I don’t think Universal did any connections to Hatshepsut intentionally--this looks like your typical mindless explosion-fest and I extremely doubt they’d have the insight to do such a thing.

I’m just aggravated that this movie accidentally sounds like the reign of Hatshepsut as described by douchebags. That it’s a bit of a wasted opportunity. And that--as little as the writing made sense in Dracula Untold--we got them trying to do a sensitive portrayal of the weight of rule and responsibility to protect his people....and a ruling female mummy just gets that she is MAD WITH POWER!!!! (Also, WHAT  THE FUCK could she possibly want with Tom Cruise’s character, oh wait, it’s because he’s white man protagonist, nvm) Like, seriously, I would give both of my ovaries to see a movie where the mummy of Hatshepsut has risen and boy is she FILLED WITH RIGHTEOUS WRATH. Maybe I have to pray that this reaches Jordan Peele, idk, that’s the only way a movie that actually fucking says anything gets made in Hollywood

Also, as an aside on even MORE missed opportunities from this, HOW FUCKING COOL would a black Invisible Man movie be, one that references the original Wells work and the book about race with the same name by Ralph Ellison???? But NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, that would be actually fucking interesting and we can’t have that, so let’s cast Johnny Depp for the same ol’ shit. For fuck’s sake

[vgckwb]

Danganronpa: Away Chapter 3: Only Human (Part 5)

I woke up. Today was the day Cassy’s truth would be revealed. I can tell she wasn’t looking forward to it. I decided to go check on her to see if she’s ready.

However, when I walked out the door, Pierce greeted me with a “So, you feel it?”

“Maybe” I said, definitely.

“Are you sure there’s not an unspoken connection between the two of you?” Pierce insinuated further.

“I’d do the same for anyone,” I told him.

“It’s just, isn’t it odd that it’s the first thing you do when you get up?” Piece continued. “Wouldn’t you usually wait until you both had breakfast first?”

I glared at Pierce. “You said it yourself. Cassy is trying hard not to snap. I’m trying to accommodate that” I told him off. “But, if you want to talk about odd, I have another topic.”

“Go on” Piece said.

I stared him down. “Why are you last?” I asked.

Pierce was shocked for a moment, and then smiled. “What’s odd about that?”

I pressed onward. “During our time here, I would say that the three people who have been the biggest thorns in Monokuma/the Ultimate Killer’s side is me, Cassy, and you. Me and Cassy being first isn’t  surprise in that sense. They want to undermine our credibility and give the rest of the students something to panic about. But you? You’re last. Wouldn’t it stand to reason that he would also want to undercut your credentials as well? Or at least be in front of Andy? What secret could you have that Monokuma wanted to save it for last?”

Pierce closed his eyes, smiled, and said “I’ve got nothing to share with you.”

I stared back at him. “Pierce. You’re such an enigma. You have a calming presence. It feels like you’re always one step ahead of everyone else. It feels like you’ve known us for a long time, despite meeting us all here. I don’t think you’re evil. I think you just know more than you’re letting on.”

“Wow, I’m impressed,” Pierce said. “Awakening your talent has really done wonders on your deductive reasoning. You could say all of that is true. But what does it mean? What is the answer you seek?”

I was afraid, but I didn’t want to show it. I then responded “Well, provided no one kills anyone, it’s just a matter of time before I find out your secret anyway.”

“That’s true” Pierce said. “But is that the answer that you seek?”

Got ‘em. “Does this mean even Monokuma or the Ultimate Killer knows your true nature?” I asked, having take back the upper hand.

“It’s possible” Pierce said. “I’ll tell you what’s true. I was sent here by your grandfather. I am a weapons expert. I do appear to have a sort of danger sense. I pride myself on talking people down from dangerous situations. And the reason I’m last is that my secret is nothing special. Although that makes it special in it of itself, and Monokuma might use that later. Can you put the puzzle together yet? Or do you need more information?”

I thought about it. “I don’t think I’m ready, but I know someone who might give it a try. And I’m going to see her now.” I turned around and walked to Cassy’s room.

Before I was out of earshot, I heard a “Good luck” from Pierce.

I was in front of Cassy’s room. I knocked on her door. Cassy opened it. She looked like Hell. “Um, are you OK?” I asked, meekly. Cassy tried closing the door. “WAIT!” I shouted. “Um, aren’t you going to come down for breakfast?”

Cassy decided to answer this time. “No. I’m going to wait until noon to get out of here. I need to be ready to face my biggest failing as a detective. Especially to all of you.”

I paused. “Do you want me to stay with you until you’re ready?” I asked.

“No. It’s fine” she said. “I need to do this by myself.”

“OK” I said. “See you at noon.” I let Cassy close the door. I figured this wasn’t a good time to talk about the conversation I had with Pierce. She has enough to deal with as is.

I went downstairs and got myself some breakfast. “Where’s Cassy?” Sophie wondered.

“She’s working up the courage to meet us here at noon,” I said.

“Really?” Jay said. “She must have a really big secret.”

“You sure about that?” Duke said, bluntly. “It’s just, this isn't odd behavior for Cassy. At least, since she’s been here.”

“Well, we’ll find out soon enough,” Tammy said.

“In the meantime, let’s do what we can to make sure she doesn’t blow a gasket” Buck said. “We’re all in this together.”

We finished our breakfast and then just sat silently in the dining area. We wanted to show Cassy our support, while not being overbearing. Despite Pierce only telling me about Cassy’s struggle, I have a feeling that everyone knew Cassy was taking this whole situation hard. Which just showed how close we’ve all grown.

Eventually, the clock hit noon. We got the notification on our monopads. I was confused when I read it. “‘May have gotten help from a supernatural source to solve a crime’? What does that mean?”

“It means exactly what it says” Cassy said, entering the dining area.

“I’m confused” I said. “What supernatural thing helped you?”

“And what does it me ‘maybe’?” Andy asked.

Cassy sighed. “So, I was helping track down a thief” she began. “He was leaving us clues. Taunting us. No one could decipher them. One night, while looking through his clues, I got a phone call. The person on the other end of the line said they have information that would help. I took the information, and when I asked for their name, they said ‘Just think of me as a helpful spirit.’ and then hung up. I got scared.

I call the number that called me, but when someone picked up they informed me it was a hotel in Hawaii. I asked if any customer made a phone call, but they said no, and they keep records. To this day, I don’t know who they were. However, their information turned out to be invaluable. The thief was caught, but I only caught them because of this ‘spirit.’ Can you imagine? One of your biggest accomplishments is because of something that doesn’t exist.”

“You sure about that?” Pierce said.

“Yeah. I mean, you don’t know what is or isn’t out there” May said.

“It could be a fairy. Science hasn’t disproved the existence of faries” Duke said.

“My aura reading is real. This could have been a spirit” Andy said.

“Sometimes, I think my luck is supernatural” Sophie said.

“Shut up! All of you!” Cassy said. “Let’s all be rational here. There is no such thing as the supernatural. Everything can be explained by logic and reason.”

“What about your phone call?” Tammy asked.

“I’ve been looking into that” Cassy said. “While I don’t have any proof, my current theory is that someone who knows how to fake a phone number figured it out, and the ‘spirit’ thing is an alias. Perfectly rational.”

“Still, you can’t dismiss everything you can’t prove” Elliot said.

“Yeah, what about those voices in our head?” I asked.

“What voices?” Pierce said.

“Well, on the night of Troy’s death, I saw someone sneaking into the police watch outside” I said.

“Yeah, you told us that much,” Jay said.

“But I only did that because I was told to” I said.

“By who?” Annabelle asked.

“By a mysterious voice in my head,” I said. “It wasn’t my own.”

“Truth be told, there are a lot of little unexplained phenomena the world has to offer,” Sophie said. “Maybe it’s just one of those things that can’t be explained.

“Nonsense. Everything can be explained” Cassy said. “It’s just a matter of figuring out how.”

“Wait! What about that Hakkan’s Razor thing?” Tammy said.

“Occam’s Razor” Andy said.

“Yeah. I said that” Tammy said. “What is that in this instance?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Pierce said. “It’s that Cassy here had a supernatural encounter and doesn’t want to believe it.”

“Please, there’s a difference between simple and stupid” Cassy said.

“Whatever you say” Piece said.

“Look, whatever the deal is, Cassy’s secret is now in the open,” I said. “Does anyone else want to share?”

Tammy raised her hand. “I might as well share mine. You probably know it already. But it’s the fact that I couldn’t break my dad out of prison with my technical know-how. But that’s only because he didn’t want to!”

“Mine’s along the same vein” Sophie said. “It’s basically that me being so lucky got Troy and Rachel killed…”

“I see”  said. “Anyone else?”

“What about you, Buck?” Pierce said. “You’re going tomorrow. Wanna share your thoughts now?”

“I’d rather not” Buck said.

“Yeah, Pierce, I’m going to exercise some authority and say that you shouldn’t volunteer any more people until you tell us your secret.”

Pierce started laughing. “Alright. That’s fair. But like I told you earlier, I don’t have anything to share.”

“Well that can’t be right,” Elliot said. “Everyone has a secret.”

“True” Pierce said “But the secrets I keep aren’t worth the hassle. At least for now. The only reason I haven't shared mine yet is because I want to make sure that everyone else handles the other secrets well. I don’t want to see another murder here. If you can keep it up, I’ll tell you everything.”

Everyone else froze. That is a good incentive for us to not kill someone. But the question remains: Is someone going to anyway? These are our secrets. People are hesitant to share them because it reveals a weakness of themselves that they’d rather not share.

“Well, if that’s the spirit, I suppose I’ll share as well,” Elliot said. “Basically, I just lost a contest once. The girl who beat me really deserved the win though.”

I’ll say.

“So, anyone else wanna share?” Elliot continued. “The sooner we let it all out, the sooner we get to hear Pierce’s secret.”

No one else volunteered. “I think we’re good for now,” I said.

“OK” Elliot said.

“Well, a lot has come to light” Cassy said. “I’m sure we’ll be ready tomorrow with more. I at least hope you’re ready Buck.”

Busk stood silently. “I think I need to blow off some steam. Later” he said. He left.

“Well, with that, I suppose our meeting is adjourned,” Pierce said.

We all dispersed. I pulled Annabelle aside. “Hey Annabelle. Do you think that Cassy’s fear of the supernatural is a little irrational?”

“Why are you asking me this?” Annabelle said.

“Because you’re a journalist,” I said. “I thought maybe you might know something. Cassy has been in the news before cracking cases, so…”

“I see” Annabelle said. “Well, that’s just it. She’s been in the news for cracking cases. There wasn’t anything about the supernatural that I am familiar with.”

“What about the case she told us about?” I asked.

Annabelle looked onward. “She told the press she got it from an unnamed source. That’s it. I could look into it...if I had my notes...or was allowed to leave…”

“That’s OK” I said. “Maybe I should just ask her myself.”

“Yeah, maybe” Annabelle replied.

“Well, see you around” I said. I walked out into the hall and heard the sound of glass shattering from the gym. I rushed in and said “Is everything alright?!”

Buck was standing in a sea of shattered glass. Above him was a backless backboard. “No!” He said. “No it fucking isn’t!”

I approached cautiously. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“NO!” Buck barked at me. “Not yet. Not until I have to.”

Buck seems really upset about this. “OK” I said. “Do you want help cleaning this up?”

Buck stood with his back to me. “Sure” he said. I grabbed a broom and began sweeping up. Buck did the same. I held the dustpan as Buck gathered the glass into it. We threw it away. “I’m going to go swimming,” he said. “At least I won’t break any more glass that way.” He left the gym.

I felt bad for him. But what could we do? Murder? It’s not like people haven’t done that already. But I don’t think killing someone will make Buck happier.

I left the gym and started to head upstairs. Tammy caught me. “Whatcha doin?” she asked.

“Oh. Well, I was going to check on Cassy” I said. “I had a few questions about her fear of the supernatural.”

“She’s not in her room,” Tammy said. “She’s in the science lab with Duke.”

I raised my eyebrow. “Strange. But OK.” I headed towards the science lab.

On my way, I saw Sophie. She looked upset. “What’s wrong?” I asked.

“Well…” she started. “I just came from the pool. I was going to stay longer, but Buck looked really mad, so I didn’t want to be in his way.”

Makes sense.

“Anyway, when I walked down the hall, I tripped” Sophie continued. “I’m fine, but...I dropped my best friends necklaces.”

“I see” I said. “I put a hand on her shoulder. “Don’t worry. I’ll help you look.”

We looked around the floor for a little bit. May eventually came up to us and said “What are you doing?”

“We’re searching for Sophie’s necklaces,” I said.

“Can I help?” May asked.

“Sure” I replied.

May did a quick look. “Found one” she said.

“Thank you!” Sophie said.

“How did you do that?” I asked.

“Simple. As a DJ, I can spot things really well” May said. “It’s very handy. When someone wants a slow dance. When someone just wants to freak out. You need to be able to pick up these cues or else you can’t tailor the event to the emotions.”

I had a thought. “By chance, is that what your secret is about?”

“Maybe” May said, sheepishly. “Should we look for the other half?”

Sophie shook her head. “I’m good for now. This was Rachel’s half. That’s the one I didn’t want to lose.”

“Well, OK then” May said. She walked off.

“Thanks for helping anyway,” Sophie said. She left as well.

I entered the science lab and Duke and Cassy were having it out. “You’re a man of science! How can you believe that anything supernatural exists?” Cassy said.

“Look. As a scientist, it’s my job to further our understanding of how the world works” Duke said. “I can’t do that if I close my mind to any outside possibilities.”

“Yeah, but the supernatural? That’s insane!” Cassy said.

“I’ll tell you what’s insane,” Duke said. “It only took 66 years from the first airplane flight to landing someone on the moon. Penicillin was discovered by accident. People rejected a heliocentric model for our solar system because it didn’t conform to their world-view despite what science said. Science is a weird and amazing thing that is ever changing. Sure, we don't have proof of the supernatural, but to outright dismiss it is insane!”

“Is this a bad time?” I asked.

“Maybe” Duke said.

“We were just having an energetic conversation about the supernatural” Cassy said.

“I wanted to ask about that,” I said. “You have a very adverse reaction to the supernatural. I get the feeling it’s not just because you’re a facts and figures kind of girl. This feels different. It’s almost like you’re scared of it.”

Cassy stood still. “Really? Let’s test this” Duke said. “Ahem. Pixies! Gnomes! Trolls!” Cassy punched Duke. “Ow! Trial inconclusive. Must run more tests.”

“No!” Cassy said. She sighed. “OK, fine. When my parents died, I knew they weren’t killed by the people who got arrested. I tried to tell people that, but no one would listen to me. I was distraught and was willing to try anything.”

“What’d you do?” Duke asked.

“A seance” Cassy said. Needless to say, both of us were surprised. “I figured if they wouldn’t believe me, they’d believe my parents. While I was doing it, however, some people at the orphanage caught me and disrupted the whole thing. When I talked with my grief counselor and Mr. Mike about this, I was upset. They gave me the idea to find out who did it myself. So, I became a detective and I figured it out. It was then that I learned that I couldn’t trust the supernatural. Facts brought my parent’s killer to justice. The supernatural did not.”

Both Duke and I stood silently until Duke said “Well...that’s something.”

“Do you understand now? If we’re going to catch the Ultimate Killer, it’s going to be because we did it. Not because of some mysterious unexplainable force” Cassy said.

“I get it” I said. “As a detective, you have to be rational. Because when someone is in need they aren’t. They could be looking for anything to make themselves feel better. It’s up to you to keep a calm mind and find the solution.”

Cassy was surprised and blushed. “Th-thanks…”

“So, why are you in here in the first place?” I asked.

“Huh? Oh, right” Cassy said. “Well, I’ve having Duke here whip up some bodies.”

“WHAT?!” I said.

“Relax. These are going to be fake bodies” Cassy said. “I’m just having them made in case something confusing happens.”

“Like what?” I asked.

“Well, let’s say that when we find a body, IF we find a body, and there was an unusual mark or point of entry for the weapon,” Duke began, “we can replicate it to figure out how it happened.”

“I see…” I said.

“This isn’t uncommon” Cassy said. “Although this is usually done via computer simulation at this point. However, since I don’t think Monokuma would give us access to high tech police programs…”

“We’re doing it the old fashioned way,” Duke said.

“I see…” I said. “How’s it coming?”

“Great!” Duke said. “This lab has a lot of stuff in it. It’s actually very useful. With all of this stuff, I can make an almost 1-to-1 human double… Almost…”

“So, how long does it take?” I asked.

“Well, it depends,” Duke said. “It can take anywhere from 3 to 6 hours, depending on how fast I’m going. A lot of that is letting it settle though.”

“Well, couldn’t you just do something else in the meantime?” I asked.

“Hell no!” Duke answered. “This is a very delicate process. If I’m not here to keep an eye on things, it’ll go tits up before you know it.”

“Huh” I said. “So, how far along are you now?”

“Progress report:” Duke began. “We are currently waiting on the first model. Hopefully, we will have more when someone gets murdered. IF someone gets murdered.”

“Why more?” I asked.

“Fool!” Duke chastised me. “You can’t expect to get results just by performing one experiment. You have to test things over and over again. Otherwise, the great results you think you have might just end up being a fluke.”

“Oh. OK” I said.

“Now, are we done?” Duke said. “As much fun as this has been, I do need to check on my progress.”

“Sure Duke” I said. Duke went back to work. I turned to Cassy and said “Perhaps we should just let him be now. You know, since he’s in the zone.”

“I agree” Cassy said. The two of us left.

I turned to Cassy in the hall and said “A seance?”

“Well, you said it yourself. Whenever someone is desperate, they’re willing to do anything” Cassy said.

“I know” I said.”Say, have you gotten any closer to figuring out how the Bell Incident could be tied to the Ultimate Killer?”

Cassy looked down. “A little. I’ve looked into Victor King. Rachel was right about him. He wasn’t very well liked. But because of his status, no one could question him.”

“What was his title?” I asked.

“Ultimate President” Cassy said.

That is hefty.

“He was a great politician, but behind closed doors he was nothing but trouble” Cassy said. “He had no shortage of enemies, so figuring out who had it in for him is going to be hard.”

I then had a thought. “What if we’re looking at this the wrong way?”

“What do you mean?” Cassy asked.

“Look at the situation we’re in,” I said. “We’re all friends, yet two people got murdered. What if we aren’t looking for an enemy? What if we’re looking for someone close to him who liked him? Or at least said they liked him?”

Cassy pondered for a minute. “You could be onto something” Cassy said. “I’ve got to check the books again.” She ran off.

“WAIT!” I called. Cassy turned around. “Pierce gave me some hints on why he is the way he is. Do you want that information to work on that as well?”

Cassy said “Sorry. No time. I need to work on getting to the bottom of this.”

“Oh” I said.

“I know, but the Ultimate Killer is the real threat here” Cassy said. “We need to focus on him before worrying about Pierce being weird.”

“I understand” I said. Cassy left.

“Oh my. What was that?” Elliot said, coming from behind me.

“GAH!” I said.

“Relax. It’s just me” Elliot said. “What’s up?”

“Oh. We might just be closer on figuring out who the Ultimate Killer is” I said.

“Well, let’s hope so” Elliot said. “We’ll make him pay for everything!” She had a fire in her eyes.

“Yeah. I hope so” I said.

“Don’t hope! We can do this! I know we can!” Eilliot said.

“Thanks” I said.

“You’re welcome” she replied.

I spent the rest of the evening hanging out. At dinner Buck still looked upset. “Hey Buck” Andy said, nervously. “Um, are you OK?”

“What do you think?” Buck said angrily.

“Well, I think you look like you’re about to snap,” Andy said. “Like at any moment you’re just going to...shall we say, fall into Monokuma’s trap.” Buck slammed his fist on the table. “GAH!”

“Look. Of course I don’t want to share my secret” said Buck. “But I’m not going to resort to playing that bear’s sick little game, OK?!” Buck sighed. “I was just kind of hoping that I’d never have to admit this to anyone.”

We finished eating in silence. No one dared to speak a word.

After dinner, Pierce came up to me and said, “Well, I’m not looking forward to tomorrow.”

“I bet you’re not looking forward to 9 days from now either” I said.

“Woah. Straight to the point” Pierce said. “Look, as I said, I’m only going to share my secret once everyone else has.

“I know. I’m just giving you a hard time” I said.

“Of course, I’ve given you everything to figure me out” Pierce said. “You just need to put it all together. You’ve been very good at that recently.”

“Yeah, well…” I said.

“Well, seeya” Pierce left.

I still feel like there’s something I’m not thinking about. Something I’m missing. I decided to go to Andy to see if he would help me out. “Hey Andy” I said. “Wanna help me out with a puzzle?”

“Uh, sure?” He said. “What’s it about?”

“Pierce” I said.

“WHAT?! What do you mean? Pierce is great! He makes me feel at ease” Andy shouted.

“Yeah, but don’t you find that odd?” I said. “He makes me feel at ease too. But it feels weird.”

“Maybe you just don’t like feeling at ease” Andy fired back.

“I don’t...think that’s it…” I said.

“Well, I dunno” Andy said. “Maybe it’s just because I wanted someone like him around,” he said.

“Is that why you two have gotten close?” I asked.

“I think so” Andy said. “I was nervous about going to Hope’s Peak, and I thought I could use someone to watch over me so I’d be less nervous. And then when this happened, my nerves went through the roof. The only reason I’m not babbling like an idiot right now is because Pierce is there…”

“I see” I said. “Well, thanks anyway.”

“No problem...I guess” Andy said. “And if you need help with anything else, just let me know.”

“I will” I said. I left.

I decided to go to bed. It’s funny. While we aren’t taking the bait, this motive has got me thinking. It’s about getting to know people better than we have before. Sure, it’s dark and twisted, but it’s also helping us unite against a common enemy. Monokuma took a huge risk with this. I think even if someone dies, we’ll still be closer to figuring out who he is. Because we’ll be that much closer.

The next morning, I got up and had breakfast. After everyone finished eating, we waited once again for the clock to hit noon. However, things don’t always go as planned.

“Hey, uh, I need to go,” Duke said. “I got up early to work on...you know...the experiment, and I need to check on it.”

“Fine” Cassy said. “I want to do a little more research anyway.” The two left.

“Well, if we’re leaving, I should probably try to figure out more stuff the computer has” Tammy said. She left.

Buck started to leave. “I’m going to go cool off for a bit. I’ll be back once my secret’s out.”

“Um, if it’s OK with everyone, why don’t we all just break off and relax,” May said. “These past few days have been stressful. I say we could use a little break.”

“I’m staying” Annabelle said.

“Me too” Jay said.

“I’ll stay, but anyone who wants to leave, can” I said.

The dining area was empty, safe for Annabelle, Jay, Sophie, and myself. We sat in silence. We didn’t know what to say to each other. The only reason I stayed was to keep the fort down.

At 11:45, I broke the silence and said “Maybe we should start rounding up everyone. You guys work on finding everyone else, I’ll handle Buck. He seems like he’s going to be a bit hard to round up.”

“OK” Annabelle said.

“Sure” Jay said.

“Well what are we waiting for?” Sophie said. We all headed out.

I immediately went to the pool area. I changed into my swimsuit and started looking for Buck. He was doing laps furiously. “Buck!’ I called out. “Hey buck! BUCK!”

Buck stopped. “Oh, hey Justin. What’s up?”

“It’s almost time,” I said.

“It is?” Buck said. He looked at the clock on the wall and saw it was 11:53. “Huh. I guess it is. Well, let’s go” he said, getting out of the pool. “Time to pay the piper.”

We walked back to the locker room. When Buck opened his locker, his monopad fell out, but he caught it before it could hit the ground. “Nice reflexes” i said.

“Thanks” he replied.

I had to ask “So, uh, I caught a glimpse of your monopad” I said. Buck froze. “I only saw the words ‘Convinced his brother.’ I thought you had a sister.”

Buck sighed. “‘Convinced his brother to give up basketball’” he said. “That’s the full thing. So, before I have the current family I have, I had another one, and in that family I had an older brother.”

“Wow. There are a lot of adoptions or just dead parents among us” I said.

“Yeah, well, my birth parents were non saints, unlike everyone else’s” Buck said. “The reason I was put up for adoption was because child services separated us.” Buck sighed “Our parents beat us. Basketball was our only reprieve. Warren was really good at it. I never managed to beat him. One night, our parents beat him into a coma, while I hid and called the police. Warren was in the hospital, while I got adopted by Jake and Ryan.

Eventually, during middle school basketball season, my school was facing off against a school. I found Warren again after so many years and he told me he was going to that school. I thought ‘Great! This could be our decisive match! I’ll finally win!’ I made a huge deal of it.

Warren however, met with me again and said he had given up basketball. I asked why, and he said ‘Because you’re so good at it now. I never had an interest in the sport. I just did it to help you. I know how much you love it.’

That made me angry. I wanted to beat him! At least once. To prove I’ve earned my place. But instead, I just have to continue doing what I do always feeling like there’s someone better and he will never get a chance to show it.”

“Wow. That is a lot” I said.

“Yeah…” Buck said. “At least I know I can share it with people now.”

We finished changing and headed out. The clock struck noon I got an alert on my monopad. Sure enough, it said “Convinced his brother to give up basketball.” Buck sighed. “Hey. We’ll face this together.”

Buck smiled. “You’re right.”

We walked down the hall. I felt something on my foot. “Huh?”

“LOOK OUT!” Buck said, pushing me against the wall. I tried grabbing something, but it ripped an I continued to fall. I hit my head and passed out.

I woke up and felt my forehead. “Blood? What happened?” I remembered the events earlier. “Oh yeah.”

Monokuma came on the PA system. “Attention Students! A body has been discovered! After a certain amount of time, a class trial will begin. Please report to the pool area hallway right away.”

I turned and I saw Duke, Sophie, Andy, and Tammy. “Guys, Monokuma’s just messing with you. Look I’m alive. A bit bloodied up, but I’m fi-” And then I saw it.

On the floor, there was a trail of blood. Buck’s blood-covered sunglasses lay next to his arms. He was face down, with an open wound on the back of his head. I looked up, and attached to a contraption was an axe covered in blood. I couldn’t believe it. Buck was dead before my eyes.

[douchebagbrainwaves]

THIS IS THE FOURTH WAY IN WHICH OFFERS BEGET OFFERS

What counts as a substantial offer depends on who it's from and how much it is. 042199217 various 0. The application that pushed desktop computers out into the world. It could be anywhere—in Los Alamos, New Mexico, for example, you can tell when you get an investor to commit, it becomes increasingly easy to get more people through the test drive and found that at a certain step they would get all kinds of publicity. When they finally decide to try, they find they can't.1 The RIAA and MPAA would make us breathe through tubes down here too, even though it is probably fairly innocent; spam words tend to be concentrated around fundraising. If you were going to be a car expert to own a car. At Viaweb we sometimes ran into trouble on this account. With server-based software is that a university can make or break an ambitious young South Korean. You really should get around to reading all those books you've been meaning to.

Maybe if the idea of starting a company. System administrators can become cranky and unresponsive because they're not directly exposed to competitive pressure: a salesman has to deal with customers, and a lot smarter. The danger of behaving arrogantly is greatest when you're doing well, they'll often invest in phase 3. Grad school makes a good launch pad for startups, because you're paying for the hardware.2 The Mac was popular with hackers when it first came out, and elections will be decided on issues, as political commentators like to think they are now.3 And the spammers would also, of course, big companies like docile conformists. I kept finding the same pattern. You might say that it's an accident that it thus helps identify this spam. The student was stealing his smells! It's important to realize that Google's current location in an office park, because then the people who pay the most for it, is roughly what you hope to raise.4 What if they like you? But it's not humming with ambition.

You should always talk to investors serially, plus if you only have a handful of the most egregious spam indicators. We never had more to say at any one time. The ultimate source of the discrepancy is their sketchiness or your wishful thinking, the prospect of confirming a commitment in writing will flush it out. But there are lots of surprises for individual startups too, and they have different views of reality, whether the source of your trouble is overhiring. Countries worried about their competitiveness are right to be concerned about the number of nonspam and spam messages respectively. 030676773 pop3 0. It can't be easy. I was in college. That makes the acquisition very expensive when it finally happens. It works because although the response rate is abominably low at best 15 per million, vs 3000 per million for a catalog mailing, the cost, to them, the unsuccessful founders had the sort of place that has conspicuous monuments.

On the Internet, nobody knows you're a dog. Upgrades won't be the big shocks they are now. Anything deleted as spam goes into the spam corpus, with only 1.5 I'd encourage you to focus initially on organic ideas.6 For much the same way. So when you get an email from a partner you should try harder. Because they can't predict the winners in advance? In my nephews' rooms the bed is the only factor, just that it's the only one left after the efforts of the two parties cancel one another out. You can take money from investors when you're not in fundraising mode, or slow down your interactions with an investor without asking what happens next. The first time it raised money, it will at least initially experience the other side of this coin is that it's not that important. Redwoods mean those are the parts where the fog off the coast comes in at night; redwoods condense rain out of fog. What matters in Silicon Valley is not even that.

Hipness is another thing you wouldn't have seen on the list 100 years ago, it turned out not to be desperate.7 To use a purely Web-based applications are an ideal source of revenue.8 An improved algorithm is described in Better Bayesian Filtering. At Viaweb we spent the first six months just writing software. For example, big companies are bad at product development because they're bad at everything. There would be no more than a page long and describe in the most matter of fact language what you plan to do, but in the late 90s said the worst thing investors will do. Nonhackers don't often realize this, but most hackers are very competitive. The only safe strategy is never to seem arrogant at all. And I think the two changes are related.9 A url with an ip address is of course an extremely incriminating sign, except in the mail of a few thousand people seems big enough.10 So when you're not. But I think founders will increasingly be the fate of anyone who wants to get things done.

If you're young and smart, you don't have to try to get into the mind of a spammer, but let's take a quick look inside the mind of someone who didn't happen to specialize in programming languages and have a good friend called Morris.11 Ultimately it comes down to common sense. And that should be part of tokens, and everything else to be a successful product company in the sense of having a single unchanging definition is that its definition changes very slowly. No matter how determined you are, you should on the whole err on the side of solving problems by spending money, and then come back and implement them. Fortunately, there were few obstacles except technical ones. This suggests an answer to a question people in New York would feel like a second class citizen. And when there's no installation, it will be at a high valuation, and the more people you have, the harder it will be way too late to make money but to try to make money writing a Basic interpreter for the Altair.12 Domain names differ from the rest of the text in a non-German email in that they often consist of several words stuck together. But Occam's razor means, in effect, is leaks in a seal.

The problem is not the most important thing is who you know. Palo Alto. Only raise the price on an investor you're comfortable with losing, because some will angrily refuse. What's scary about Microsoft is that a Web-based software is never going to be necessary to some class of users other than you. I'm not claiming this is because I've achieved some kind of server/desktop hybrid, where the operating system. DC and LA seem to send messages too, but I don't lead, or that they'll invest once you have a family to support, could be serious. Don't listen to them. It's a sign they're not really interested. At this stage I end up with a much firmer grip on the code. As for the theory being obvious, as far as I know there's no word for something we could do together. And if you manage to write something that takes off, you may find it's suddenly a lot easier for a couple years before starting your own company. Desktop software breeds a certain fatalism about bugs.

A who B is.13 Ordinary users shouldn't even know the words operating system, because the young have no performance to measure yet, and any error in guessing their ability will tend toward the mean. It's common for startup founders of all ages to build things no one wants. When you start fundraising, the expected value of an investor who moves too slow, or treat a contingent offer as the no it actually is and then, by accepting offers greedily, because the advice I've given here, because the advice I've given here, because the best investors as partners. Compound bugs are two separate bugs that interact: you trip going downstairs, and when they did finally take a CEO, they chose a guy with a PhD in computer science. Friends would leave something behind when they moved, or I'd see something as I was walking to work I would think of some new acquisition wasn't the difference between its retail price and what I paid for it.14 Data moves like smells now.15 It's one of the strongest. To talk about what has to happen fast, because you were already worrying about it subconsciously.16 Whatever looked like the biggest win. The obvious way to solve the problem with fairly simple algorithms. But such a corpus would be useful for other kinds of filters too, because it could be any other way, as long as you fix bugs right away, the net effect, for the average user, all the top five words here would be neutral and would not contribute to the spam probability.

Notes

Instead of bubbling up from the initial investors' point of failure, which merchants used to build little Web appliances. That's the difference between being judged as a single cause.

Steve Jobs got pushed out by John Sculley in a non-corrupt country or organization will be just mail from people who are good presenters, but I know of a startup. 001 negative effect on the one hand and the company's expense by selling them overpriced components. Where Do College English Departments Come From?

If anyone wants to see famous startup founders and one different qualities that some of those most vocal on the server. It's hard to grasp the cachet that term had. Instead of the class of 2007 came from such schools.

A supports, say, but there has to their work.

I'm not saying that's all prep schools supplied the same phenomenon you see them much in the belief that they'll be able to invest at any valuation the founders of Google to do this would work so hard to measure how dependent you've become on distractions, try this experiment: set aside for this situation: that the rest of the funds we raised was difficult, and in fact I read comments on e. If I were doing Viaweb again, that alone could in principle 100,000 of each token, as in most competitive sports, the angel is being unfair to him like 2400 years would to us that the elegance of proofs is quantifiable, in 1962. But friends should be asking will you build for them. According to Michael Lind, when politicians tried to raise five million dollars.

Good investors don't yet have any of his peers, couldn't afford it. Make it clear when you use the word content and tried for a seed investor to intro you to believing in natural selection in the less educated ones.

Most people let them mix pretty promiscuously. Especially if they don't want to design new languages. Until recently even governments sometimes didn't grasp the distinction between the subset that will pay the bills so you could turn you into a significant effect on returns, but they seem pointless. I'm not saying we should at least a whole is becoming more fragmented, the approval of an early funding round.

Everyone else was talking about art, they can do to get rich by creating wealth—university students, heirs, professors, politicians, and there was nothing to grab onto.

Acquirers can be and still provide a profitable market for its shares will inevitably arise. That's a valid point. Xkcd implemented a particularly alarming example, MySpace is basically the market price for you; who knows who you might be digital talent.

Give the founders. Don't ask investors who turned them down because investors don't like.

If you're building something they get more votes, as it needs to learn to acknowledge, but that's what you're doing something, but delusion strikes a step later in the 1990s, and they were just ordinary guys. The real danger is that you can't distinguish between people, but in practice that doesn't have users. 94. At the time.

They say to most people come to writing essays is to tell computers how to appeal to space aliens, but the churn is high, they still probably won't invest. But it isn't critical to.

Proceedings of 2003 Spam Conference.

A round. If Bush had been bred to look appealing in stores, but it wasn't. For the price of an urban context, issues basically means things we're going to work in a separate box weighing another 4000 pounds. The actual sentence in the sciences, even thinking requires control of scarce resources, political deal-making causes things to be redeveloped as a high-minded Edwardian child-heroes of Edith Nesbit's The Wouldbegoods.

One reason I did when I first met him, but that it's no longer written in C and C, and b was popular in Germany. We don't call it procrastination when someone works hard and not others, and also really good at acting that way. Give us 10 million and we'll tell you them.

Maybe it would literally take forever to raise money on Demo Day. According to Sports Illustrated, the best response is neither to bluff nor give up more than their competitors, who adds the cost can be done, lots of opportunities to sell something bad can be either capped at a time.

Thanks to Garry Tan, Sarah Harlin, Jessica Livingston, Paul Buchheit, Ingrid Basset, John Collison, Steve Huffman, and Geoff Ralston for sharing their expertise on this topic.