#so like at the absolute most ill need to revise for 6 more hours (so much reading and memorising) but i have 3 days .. thats manageable

[mainfaggot]

lol fuck this im too tired im studying tomorrow

[wizkiddx]

hiiiii i love your stuff - could u do one where the readers ill but they have stuff to do and tom has to look after her. maybe if they were just friends before too but both pining? thankuuuuuuuuu

should I be writing this instead of revising? clearly fucking not. Did I make this little blurb req ridiculously long purely to procrastinate? Of fucking course.

but also this was v cute! I assumed u meant famous!reader, sorry if that's not what u were after at all anon x

summary: Tom Holland turns into the readers knight in shining armour when they get ill during promo

warnings: fainting / feeling ill

///////////////////

It couldn’t be today. Of all days, why today? You’d been at home for two weeks doing absolutely nothing, before this trip. And yet it’s when your itinerary is packed to the brim, people moving heaven and earth just speak to you. Two weeks of unrelenting press for Marvels next big ensemble movie. 

Your manager was speaking to you, reeling off a run down of todays activities but instead of listening you nodded along blankly - head rather cloudy with this heavy mist that was not shaking off, no matter how hard you tried. 

“You got that Y/n/n?” Lucy pointedly spoke, eyes almost physically knocking you backwards as if her eyeliner was battery rams. Fumbling with your thoughts, your answer wasn’t particularly cohesive earning you just a disappointed head shake. 

“I um… yeh I think. Who-who did you say I was paired up with?” 

“Y/n please for the love of god. Tom, like I said the past fifty times.” And to be fair to Lucy she wasn’t wrong. It was the first major major promo tour for the both of you and after just two days so far - you were both exhausted. She was more than allowed to be a bit short tempered. 

“But we-we hardly know each other? The chemistry won’t be there and-“

“As I said, I tried to re-jig it but Kevin is of the mind that acting is your job.” Her tone was sharp but as she glared across the opposing seats, in the little mini van Marvel had hired for you as transportation, her eyes softened. Lucy had been so wrapped up in her own stress she may have overlooked quite how gingerly you were sitting. By the time she had arrived at the hotel, your stylist had already managed to half save your ghoulish looking face, with sunken under eyes and tired skin, so it wasn’t so blatantly obvious how crap you were feeling.  “Is everything okay with you?” 

It felt pretty puny to say that the jet lag from flying to Tokyo had been weighing you down further than you wanted, or that the local cuisine top chefs had kindly prepared for you last night wasn’t siting well in your stomach. To be honest, even you thought it was just your body being a bit overdramatic. So in response, you put on your best happy-go-lucky face feigning a smile.

“No no I’m fine, just want to give the best interviews I can and you know…. I’m awkward as hell as it is, then pair me with the most talented actor that I share about two minutes of screen time with…it’ll be interesting.” 

The way Lucy reacted with a weird slow nod, eyebrows furrowed, meant it was quite apparent you had perhaps overplayed that one. Had you not been so over the day before it even began, you would’ve tried again to give a more believable act. But as you were, you turned your attention back out to the bustling streets of Tokyo and the high rise buildings bordering each pavement. 

You didnt have a problem with Tom, far from it in fact. Tom was hilarious and the times you had met him, you’d both built up this weird and sarcastic competitiveness with each other. It was a game of who could get the last laugh, each of you pushing each other with the Mickey taking just a little further. Of course, not in a malicious way, just the way you’d both lived pretty similar but parallel careers - when everyone drew comparisons between the both of you, it was nice to make it a joke. 

Like Tom you’d also started out on stage, had a ‘big break’ movie as a kid and then spent your teenage years on and off film sets - till marvel happened. Then everything blew up to epic proportions, changing your life forever. Actually, it was so similar to Tom’s story, plus the fact you were also from the south west of the UK. It was bizarre your paths hadn’t crossed more - He probably could’ve been a useful ally in the the whole ‘becoming famous’ thing. 

And yet, you could probably count on two hands the amount of conversations you’d had with him. 

Now that, that was the issue. Right from the beginning you learn what the press want and when you are publicising a movie you cater into it too. They’d all be asking for the insider scoop on set; what pranks you’d pulled on each other; what was the most annoying thing about each other. Which is hard if you’d only had 5 or 6 days actually on set together. 

By the time the cab had wormed its way through the Tokyo traffic and you arrived at the PR hotel, it was already 9:30 - making you 15 minutes late (blame it on the traffic). Instantly then you were ushered straight to the interview room for the evening, no chance of green room chat or grabbing a drink before. The place was stuffy, everything was draped with black curtains except the poster board that Tom was already sitting infront of. 

He’d scrubbed up well, no doubt about it. He was wearing statement-ish burgundy suit trousers, teamed with a black knitted but collared shirt thing - that was clearly tailor made for the man. As soon as he noticed you scurry into the room, his face broke out into a warm smile, jumping up to greet you in a friendly hug. It was brief, and as you pulled back you accidentally bumped your head on one of the overhanging lights. No doubt someone had spent a ridiculous amount of time configuring them so they were positioned perfectly, which you had just ruined with your big head. 

“Oh shit!” Tom just laughed in response, shaking his head slightly as he lead you the two steps across to your pre-positioned seats. 

“Making an entrance as always I see!”

“Yeh, you know me, a bit of chaos just to keep everyone on their toes.”

“Oh is that why you’re ‘fashionably late’” With a playful wiggle of his eyebrows, you just rolled your eyes, fidgeting on the chair to find a position that didnt aggravate  your stomach so much.

“I’m ready now though! What did I miss? Just having to pretend to be your friend for 15 minutes?” You stressed the words as though the thought of conversation with Tom was the absolute worst thing in the world - which you definetly didnt think. Scowling like you’d insulted his dog Tessa, it was almost visible how the cogs were turning in his head looking for a comeback. Unfortunately for him though, he was quickly shut up but the organiser bringing the first interviewer in . 

For what would, no doubt, be a long day. 

////

Everything had started off so well, the banter was flowing between you and Tom, no major spoilers revealed that meant Marvel would have to make the journalist disappear. It was once you hit an hour of back-to-back interviews that everything started to crack bit. Because yes, it had only been an hour but that was enough to exhaust you on this particular day. When Tom joked around you got slower and slower, similarly the  energy was zapped from your own answers. It’s not very compelling when someone says ‘you have to watch this movie’ in a monotonous voice with sullen eyes. 

As the interviewers were swapping in and out, Tom actually lightly nudged your shoulder.

“Everything alright? We’re trying to sell tickets and you’ve got a face like thunder.”

“Oh no-no sorry I just, I-um.”

“You want some water?” Now looking at your with more concerned eyes, as if he was just nervous he’d actually offended you for calling you a boring bastard. And you would’ve picked up on it and alleviated his concerns, if it weren’t for the fact your eyes were glued on the water bottle he was holding out to you. You were thirsty. You knew that, that wasn’t the conundrum. What you weren’t so sure about was whether your stomach would accept it, or more violently reject it. In a very non ‘we’re-trying-to-sell-a-movie’ style. 

But the lightheaded fogginess in your brain won out, as you nodded jerkily, taking the bottle and taking a little swig - too cautious to take anymore. 

Now concerned with how Tom thought you were being a Debby-downer too, you managed to perk yourself up for the next four interviews. They were easy, asking questions without any activity and though you did rely on Tom beefing out and adding to your answers, it was okay. Then the next interviewer came in, who you recognised as being from the BBC, Ali Plumb, that had interviewed you a number of times. From the way Tom jumped up to give him afirendly bro-hug, you guessed he also was familiar with him. As soon as he took a seat the cameras were already flashing with the red light, demonstrating his 7 minutes had already started. 

“Guys! It’s been a while.” 

“How are you Ali?” You started it off with the pleasantries, Tom echoing, before the speccy dirty-blonde asked his first question. 

“So the last time I spoke to you guys the universe was in chaos, Peter Parkers on the run and Aurora Blake was trying to strip her own powers, so I guess my first question is how are you both doing? We can use this as a therapy session if you guys need.” His very typical nerdy joke made Tom laugh, nodding as he leaned forward and repositioned a bit. 

You didn’t share the same humour though, more focused on this invisible blanket of stuffiness that seemed to have been thrown on top of you. It made you feel groggy, incredibly hot and so unbelievable nauseous. The lights weren’t helping either, it felt like you were pouring with sweat from your forehead. You thought Tom was answering Ali, even if you couldn’t really hear  - everything had merged into a deafening roar. Adrenaline coursed through your veins, unconsciously making you fumble yourself to standing, desperate to get somewhere with fresh air. The last thing you saw before your vision tunnelled into darkness was Tom, reaching out to try and catch you. 

Because next thing you knew, you were on the floor, wires from all the cameras and lights digging into your back as you looked up to see Tom on one side and Lucy on the other - both wearing a similarly panicked expression. You knew you hadn’t been out long, seconds if that, going by the fact everyone else was in the ‘oh my god’ phase of panic. It was a bit weird how calm you where, but then again all your life you’d been the ‘class fainter’. Waking up on the floor was something you were long since used to. 

“Y/n? You awake?” Rather stating the obvious Tom asked the question as you bent your head up - allowing you sight of all the concerned facing oggling you. With a defeated sigh, you flopped your head back. 

“If this is a dream then it’s a real bloody nightmare.” This time Tom didnt seem to appreciate your joke, looking at you without almost dumbfounded eyes, as you blinked repetitively and groaned. 

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Lucy appeared to want to lecture you, which to be honest wasn’t the most time appropriate. You were still on the floor, legs crumpled up under you, so ignored her. Instead you pulled yourself up into a sitting position, taking a moment to blink away the blotchy haze that threatened to takeover your vision once again, whilst the pair above you both cautiously rested their palms on each of your shoulders -trying to be useful. The room still felt cramped and stifling, as everyone around were no doubt looking at you. 

It took a few minutes but your body seemed to get over itself, sitting up normally and trying to make small talk with Ali - who, by the way, was still sat awkwardly in the chair. Still nestled on the floor, your back up against the chair you had been siting on as you raved with Ali of the Harry Potter theatre show. In a natural lull in conversation, Tom perked up - from the door where he’d been muttering with the organiser as Lucy bit her nails nervously. 

“Y/n you need to go home.” 

All of you knew what Tom said was impossible. Not being egotistical, but you were too important. Although you hadn’t been paying masses of attention for Lucy’s run down of your itinerary - you knew it was packed. 

So you just looked up and rolled your eyes at Tom, earning yourself a strong glare, before locking the organiser in eye contact.

“How many have we got till lunch?” 

“Um this gent here” He gesturned toward Ali, who was almost squirming in his seat now “then two more.”  

“And then lunch?” 

“Yes, then you have a personal appearance at a dinner, so transport will be coming to pick you both up.” This poor guy seemed obsessed with the clock and his timetable, looking at your with a mixture of panic and frustration. You should know this stuff, you should’ve listened to Lucy. 

“How fars the drive?” 

“At this time probably an hour and a half.” 

The plan was clear in your head, you’d sort yourself out in the car and be fully fine by the afternoon and evening engagements. Plus you felt almost fine now. So with a sigh, you hauled yourself up onto the chair, patting for Tom to sit back down. 

“It’s half an hour and then I’ll sort myself out at lunch - come on their waiting.” The way Lucy pouted showed she disagreed somewhat, except a stern look kept her from protesting, as Tom walked toward you. 

“Are you sure you don’t loo-“

“Let me stop you before you insult my appearance.” Snickering slightly at his worried face, you laughed it off , knocking his side with a gentle murmur of ‘don’t worry about me’. 

In fact after that little episode you did feel a little recovered, which meant you were properly noticing the change in the boy sat next to you. Throughout the remaining three interviews he’d done a complete 360 from earlier. Rather than trying to get little digs at you, he had become fiercely protective - jumping in if a questions wasn’t particularly appropriate or relevant to the movie ( meaning when an awfully crap man asked what underwear you’d been able to wear in your suit) ; taking the heat of the conversation as well as just watching you like a hawk. Each time you answered his beady brown eyes were watching you from the side, you got the impression it wasn’t only just because of the risk of spoilers. 

Quite remarkably, you survived the rest of the day pretty well, after a power nap in the car on the way over - even if it was a bit difficult when you had your manager watching you like a hawk from the seat across. It was as if Lucy had never seen anyone ill before, she seemed concerned that you were going to spontaneously stop breathing and die at any point. 

Though by the time all the official business at the dinner was done, your body and willpower had reached the end of their tether. You and Tom were both on a round table, surrounded by 6 CEOs and execs of what seemed to be a multimillion pound business enterprise. With the language barrier meaning you had to speak through the two people on the table who were fluent in both japanese and English, the conversation was already pretty jilted. Though to be fair, the six did seem to be enjoying the evening - something you werent able to reciprocate. Thankfully, five minutes after the main course dishes had been collected, Tom spoke up from his position opposite you.

“This has been lovely and we really appreciate your time and generosity but me and Y/n have a really early start tomorrow so I think we should probably get back to the hotel.” You swore in that moment you could’ve kissed him, and it looked like Tom could tell - by the way your shoulders sagged and you let out an exhale of pure relief. Apparently even if you’d managed to convince the hosts you were enjoying the evening, Tom easily saw through the performance. After some hurried goodbyes, Tom led you out of the hall with his hand hovering over your lowerback, trying to make sure your exit was as discreet as possible. 

Away from the bubble of chatter and activity, in the deserted hallway, Tom stopped you - lightly holding both hands on each of your arms. 

“Wheres your team?” 

“Um Luce is back at the hotel, she was trying to see if she could reschedule any of my stuff tomorrow.” You winced at the way he sighed, realising you were all on your own in some random business event hall in Tokyo.

“Harry -my brother- is waiting in the car at the front - is that okay?”

“No Tom, don’t worry abo-“

“Yeh well I am and I think you feel ten times worse than you’re letting on.” He spoke harshly, like a school teacher telling you off - except the hint of a kind smile at the end was a dead giveaway. 

“You sure?” 

With a relieved nod (Tom had thought you might be a bit more stubborn - you obviously were really really ill) he wordlessly shrugged his suit jacket off, wrapping it round your shoulders. He muttered something about not wanting you to catch a chill but to be quite honest you were a bit distracted by the woody cedar smell of Toms aftershave that enveloped your senses. Maybe it wasn’t so bad being fussed on by him? To be fair he wasn’t wrong either, you were in a strapless evening dress - you would’ve preferred to be in joggers, but Marvels press team had other ideas. 

After a quick pit stop at the toilets, the two of you managed to make an unnoticed escape out the building - into a big SUV which had seconds prior pulled up onto the steps. You literally melted into the nearest window seat, body hunching over as you probably crumpled Tom’s jacket beyond belief. 2 seats along from you, a frizzy haired boy gave you a sympathetic smile, which you returned weakly whilst muttering a ‘hi’. Meanwhile, Tom pulled the sliding door shut, sitting across from you. 

“Oh Y/n this is Harry and Harry this is Y/n.” In unison both of you replied with an ‘I know’ eye roll. Your response was somewhat more shocking to both Holland boys, you could tell from the way they had this whole nonverbal conversation with their eyes - they were very clearly brothers. Needing to explain you continued. “I like to keep tabs on my castmates, I’ve seen you on Toms instagram.” That had both boys smirking, Harry presumably just because you knew who he was; Tom more smugly, you’d just given away you slightly stalked him on instagram. 

Silence reigned for a moment, as the driver put his foot down slightly. 

“How you doing?” Tom asked. 

“Mhm…” you thought for a second, how to eloquently describe the sensation. 

“shit.” 

Both boys chuckled a little and even though you had closed your eyes in an attempt to dull the throbbing behind your temples, you could feel the eyes on you. 

“You want the music off?” Harry asked, referring to the indie-rock coming quietly out the speakers of his laptop, which was resting on his lap. With a shake of your head you refused, even if really silence probably would help your head, you were already causing the two Hollands enough trouble - no need to bore them during the journey back into central Tokyo, especially when you weren’t the most enthusiastic company ever. 

Thankfully the music stayed on a low volume, whilst the car seemed to settle into a comfortable silence. With a long exhale you fluttered your eyes open, seeing Tom focused on his phone, before you rested the side of your head against the black-out glass. Taking some relief from the cool glass, you huddled further into the corner of the car against the door.

Floating in the space between sleep and wakefulness, you were kind of aware of your head occasionally bobbing and jerking about - but really didn’t have the energy or willpower to do anything about it. Instead, the thing that perked your attention was hearing some supposed-whispering from inside the body of the car.

“I know she said she didn’t care but she was clearly lying-“ 

“Like you know! You’ve been desperate to try and spend some time with Y/n- maybe you poisoned her just so you could be all knight-in-shini-“

“Turn. The. Music. Off.” Tom sounded scathing now, and with a grumble from your other-side the cheery drum beats ceased.

“Happy now?” …and Harry was sarcastic. 

“Swap places with me.”

“What?”

“Just do it.”

“Why?”

“So she can lie down.” 

“Well no because you would still be in the way if we swapped.”

“Yeh but she can lie on my lap idiot.”

“She can lie on me.”

“She doesn’t know you!”

“Well for 1, barely ten minutes ago she said she did know me. And 2, she doesn’t know you any better!”

If this was their version of whispering, you would love to hear what volume ‘shouting’ was. There was no reply for a short while, you imagined the two brunettes locked in some intense staring match.The next time Tom spoke he sounded more defeated - almost begging. 

“If I admit you beat me at the driving range the other day will you-” 

“I KNEW IT!” Harry yelped, the volume making you jerk, eyes flying open before reflexively closing because the light was too bright. There was a little mutter of an apology, then silence again. 

Once agin you must’ve drifted off because it felt like absolutely no time had passed when a firm but gently hand on your shoulder nudged you awake. 

Sure enough the boys had swapped position, Tom now sitting along the seat from you, Harry looked a little sulky from across the way. It was Tom who was reaching over, a gentle and peaceful smile on his face.

“You wanna lie down? Don’t want you to strain your neck.” He wasn’t wrong, adding to the throbbing headache, the cloudiness in your brain and the unsettled feeling in your stomach… now your neck hurt. Just bloody great. 

Had you been your normal witty and perceptive self, you might’ve teased Tom as to why him and his brother had done a switch - but everything hurt and all you wanted to do was sleep for a hundered years. So with squinting eyes you jerkily nodded, missing how Tom chuckled to himself. The guy undid your seatbelt, then sat back to let you balance the back of your head on his thigh, looking up at the roof of the SUV. Already your eyes were closed again, you kicked off your slip-on heels and bent your legs up to lean against the backrest - occupying the position you had been sat in before hand. You felt his hands reposition the jacket, pulling it round so it was now like a blanket tucked under your chin. 

To be fair it was much more comfortable than sitting up and you weren’t even aware of how quickly you dropped back into sleep. 

Though it wasn’t quick enough to miss Harry’s very sulky sounding comment, presumably meant only for Tom’s ears. 

“Still think you’re being fucking creepy bro.” 

<33 lemme know what u think! (would make me feel less guilty for not doing all the work I rlly should be doing aha)

tagging : @hallecarey1 @crossyourpeter @hollandfanficlove

[reddielibrary]

Still The One

Secret Santa: Katie | @kaspbrak-eddie

Gift for: Elmo | @ellomello16

Special Message: Merry Christmas to the sweetest member of the fandom! I hope you enjoy this lil fic and I hope you have a good day, ily ♡♡

Word count: 6,789

*click title to read on AO3

Richie Tozier had never considered himself to be a wildly successful person. In school, he’d always been above average but had never been the top of his class, putting little to no effort into homework and exams but still managing to maintain mostly A’s and B’s. It may have been impressive, sure, but he had never been exemplary, and he prided himself in that. The slight apathy he felt for his schoolwork still yielded the same outcome that most of his friends and peers could only barely achieve through long, arduous hours of intense reading, writing, revising, re-revising. He didn’t bat an eye at assignments his classmates lost countless hours of sleep over. School had always come easily to him, as most things did. He was an incredibly charming man, never failing to make even the most stuck-up assholes crack a laugh every once in a while. 

Humans he had never taken issue with, he felt most comfortable in social situations and threw himself into them head-first every opportunity he had. Meaningful human interaction, on the other hand, deep, personal, one-on-one connections, well that was one of the few items on the list of things in life that made Richie uneasy. And he had a string of failed relationships to show for it, one that was longer than a suburban mother of six’s grocery list. Richie had simply never been able to connect with anyone on that profound, meaningful level that everyone talks about--that his partners talked about feeling with him. He had simply always felt like there was something missing, something not right. It felt as if something--or someone--was pulling him away, but if there was one thing he was sure of, Richie Tozier knew that he had never been in love.

Eddie Kaspbrak, on the other hand, had. Countless times. He fell easily, and when he did, he fell hard. Lamentably, he had a nasty habit of falling for people who could not even come close to reciprocating the love he gave--the absolute, irrevocable adoration that could only come from someone who aimed to please. The household Eddie had grown up in had been built around his mother’s intense, all-consuming need to be needed. Eddie had never known her as a rational person, although he supposed she probably had been at some point in her life. To Eddie, she was overbearing, almost dictatorial. Everything he did had to be passed through her first, and she approved of almost nothing. After years and years of the constant hounding, the unremittant whining and worrying, Eddie had learned that it was easier to just let her have her way, and he’d carried with him this skill of always striving to please. And he was damn good at it. It affected every part of his life as an adult, relationships with friends, with significant others, but most importantly, it made him incredibly good at his job.

He was passionate about his career--he threw every part of himself into his work, and he loved it. Although the work was unceasing, exhausting, it was a good outlet for his energy, especially when the same tendencies that made him great at his job had a propensity to affect his relationships negatively. Everyone he’d ever dated had had one of two problems with him--either Eddie was too clingy, fell in love far too quickly and let it overtake his entire personality, often morphing it completely to become more appealing to his partner. That, or they fought with him constantly about being work-obsessed, stating that he spent too much time away, or even when he was home, that he was distant, thinking about work; they complained about his going above and beyond to be the best, never supporting him the way he needed. By the time he was in his late twenties, Eddie had decided that he was done with relationships. He was exhausted and completely fed up with pouring his endless love and energy into people who didn’t champion his goals and applaud him for reaching them. In his memory, he had never had someone like that, someone who he could be himself with, someone who wanted him to be his very best. And he assumed he probably never would.

It was a Wednesday morning when Richie had gotten the call at 7:45, jolting him awake abruptly from a deep, heavy sleep. He groaned and patted around blindly for the phone on his nightstand, brushing his sleep-kinked, floppy hair out of his face as he did so. “Tozier here,” he grumbled into the phone, his voice thick and deep.

“Rich! It’s me! Get your ass out of bed, you lazy piece of shit!”

Still half asleep, Richie groaned, “The fuck are you talking about?”

“I’m just kiddin’ buddy. But seriously. Great show last night, you were fuckin’ hilarious!”

“Yeah, Steven. You always say that. That’s what you’re supposed to say, you’re my manager.”

“Yeah yeah.” Richie’s manager, who doubled as his best (read: only) friend, pushed on, ignoring Richie’s humility, “So the guy from SNL called back finally. You’re golden, baby. They want you to come out next week to audition.”

Richie’s eyes shot wide open, he was definitely awake now. He scrambled for his laptop on the floor by his bed as he replied, “Steve-O are you serious? If you’re fucking with me right now I’m gonna drive to your house and murder you.” He opened his laptop hurriedly to check his email, first reaching over to the bedside table to grab his glasses, sliding the thick, bulky lenses over his eyes to bring the world back into focus. Once he got his email pulled up, he desperately refreshed the browser, clicking the ‘get mail’ button incessantly.

“Bro, I can hear you clicking from here. Relax, I haven’t sent you anything yet. I’ll get it to you once I put everything together, I literally just got off the phone with the guy.”

Richie sighed. “Steven, you really are a genius. It’s happening!”

“It’s not me, Rich, it’s all you. And I always told you it would, have I ever lied to you before?”

Richie chuckled, rubbing at his eyes, pushing his glasses up to his forehead, still in disbelief, “Stevia, baby, you lie to me all the time.”

“Hush now. You know when I do it’s just for your own good. Alright, well, I’ll let you get back to sleep… Or back to whoever is in your bed right now.”

Richie mock gasped, “Are you accusing me of having premarital sex? You know I’m waiting until marriage, Steven, sorry to disappoint you.”

“Oh shut up, Richie. Goodbyeee...” He dragged out the last syllable as he audibly pulled the phone away from his face and hung up, his voice trailing off as the microphone was drawn further and further away from his mouth. A few minutes later, just as Richie was succumbing back to sleep, his phone vibrated with an email containing his itinerary.

Eddie sighed as he lay down on a cot in the on-call room of the hospital he’d worked in for almost four years now. He was halfway through another long shift, it was almost 6:00 am, but he could at least take comfort in the fact that it was just a twelve-hour rather than a twenty-four. Eddie had always had a penchant for medicine, even when he was young. Growing up with a mother whose every waking moment was dedicated to her only son, Eddie had been the target of her constant and unrelenting care. Although all of the illnesses she was sure Eddie suffered from had turned out to be fake, the excessive doctor visits as a child had made him extremely comfortable in hospitals and outpatient centers. As he’d grown older, he’d taken comfort in understanding his “illnesses,” and in doing so, he had begun to understand the source of them. He’d never been a slow kid--neither mentally nor physically--and at the ripe age of eleven, he’d realized just how his mother’s protection had hurt him, and he had vowed to leave her the very second he was able.

The only support system he’d had as a kid had been the friends he had made, who, after he’d left town for college, he had forgotten more and more about every single day. He was unsure if it was due to the influx of new information and experiences or something else, but no matter what he did, he couldn’t conjure up any of their faces in his memory, not even a single name. There was something there, he knew, something--someone--tugging at him. Something that panged in his stomach every time he walked past someone on the street with dark, frizzy hair, something he couldn’t put his finger on. There was the day in college he’d gotten reading glasses, and that night just as he was turning the light out, the sight of the frames laying on his bedside table gave him the strongest sense of déjà vu he’d ever experienced in his life, so much so that he had felt light-headed for a few seconds before regaining his composure. He had not slept well that night, dreaming of his childhood, blotchy and blurry, the only clear parts he could pick out in his head were a pair of impossibly thick glasses, beat-up black sneakers, scraped knees, and popsicles melting in the sweltering summer sun.

He’d been awoken by a panic attack in the early hours of that morning, something that rarely happened anymore, only when he had these dreams. These confusing, disorienting dreams. They were trying to tell him something, that he was sure of, but after years of having them, he was resigned to the fact that he’d never figure it out.

As he curled up in the cot in the on-call room to take a quick nap he thought of these dreams, hoping against hope that someday soon he’d understand what they meant.

As Richie boarded the plane at LAX at 5:00 am, he was so jittery that he could barely stand still. Most of it was from the four cups of coffee he’d already downed that morning in the Uber to the airport, but the rest was from nerves. He was nervous about the SNL audition, sure, but he was also nervous about something that he couldn’t quite pinpoint. Something that was in New York. Something he couldn’t remember. He shook his head quickly to rid the thought as he flashed the cute, young flight attendant a small smile, pushing his glasses up and turning to look down the long airplane cabin and find his seat.

He didn’t get much done on the flight, too distracted to think straight, his mind running a million miles an hour. Immediately after he sat down he pulled his laptop out of his backpack, searching for the hours of SNL footage he’d downloaded to watch on the way in hopes it would ease his nerves. He lost himself in the footage, even laughing out loud at some points. He’d lost track of time, but about halfway through the first episode he’d started, he felt a tap on his shoulder and pulled his bulky headphones off, knocking his glasses askew. Fixing them quickly, he looked up.

“Sir, we’re taking off. You have to put that away until the pilot gives us the go-ahead to get large electronics back out.”

Richie nodded and hastily shut his laptop, stuffing it in his bag and slouching down in his seat, looking out the window as the plane taxied the runway slowly. The take-off was excruciating, his seatmate asked him to stop bouncing his leg at least four times, having to speak up over the mechanical, monotonous roar of the engines. He apologized profusely each time, only to be asked again a few minutes later, not even having noticed that he’d started again. Once the electronics light above him lit up, he grabbed his laptop again and tried to relax, doing breathing exercises he’d learned from a school counselor while he was in college to try and ease his anxiety. It worked somewhat, and the five-hour flight raced by quickly. Once they’d landed, he rushed through the airport carelessly, almost mowing down a few toddlers on his way to the exit; airports always made him uneasy, too many people, he always felt overstimulated. As he made it to the arrivals area and found the driver he was told would be waiting for him, he broke into a near sprint, running up to the unexpecting man out of breath. “Hey,” he took a heaving breath and gestured in between the sign and himself, “That’s… That’s me. I’m Tozier.”

“Hello, Mr. Tozier. Pleasure to--”

“Just call me Richie. Please.”

The man nodded solemnly, “You got it, Richie. And is that the only bag you brought? I was told you’d have a suitca--”

“Oh, fuck!” Richie exclaimed in a hushed yell. “Be right back!” He took off, loping through the crowded baggage claim area, his backpack swinging behind him.

Richie managed to find the baggage carousel fairly quickly, and his bag was--by some fucking miracle--one of the first up. He grabbed it and rushed back to the driver, who was chuckling quietly to himself. He unzipped the suitcase to retrieve his winter coat--something he hadn’t needed in years since he’d moved to California. “You ready to go now?” The driver asked kindly after Richie had thrown the old, worn coat over his shoulders and zipped it up tight.

Richie nodded and extended the handle on his beat-up suitcase to wheel it behind him. The ride to the hotel Richie’s manager had booked for him took about an hour and a half. The hotel was in the middle of the city and traffic was, as always, an unbelievable nightmare. By the time they arrived there, it was just after noon, and Richie was starving. The car pulled up to the curb and waited as Richie paid and pulled his suitcase from the trunk. He shot the driver a two-fingered wave and turned around. Right into a shorter man, a man who looked to be around his age. He donned a set of blue scrubs shrouded by a thick parka that went down to his knees, his chestnut hair was tousled and frizzy under the hood, the guy looked exhausted. “Hey, can you fucking watch where you’re walking? Fucking touris--” His voice was cut off as he looked up to glare at Richie, and all of the breath left his lungs.  “Do-- Do I know you?” His eyes went soft as he let the hood fall off the back of his head, looking up at Richie, his gaze tracking quickly back and forth over his face.

“I don’t�� uh. Maybe? You look kinda familiar…” Richie trailed off, pulling his suitcase in closer to his legs in order to avoid the looks of antipathy from passerby.

“Sorry, you just…” the guy shoved his gloved hands in his pockets nervously and took a deep breath, his exhale condensing in the air in front of his cheeks, flushed from the cold. “You look like someone I used to know… I think. I don’t know. Sorry, have a nice day,” he said as he quickly turned on his heel and hurried off down the street.

Well that was fucking weird, Richie thought to himself, I could have sworn I… He shook his head to clear the thought from it, he needed to focus. As he checked into the hotel, he couldn’t help but be slightly absent, his mind running circles, distressing over the audition, but also blindsided by the strange interaction on the street.

Eddie huffed as he replaced his hood on his head, tucking his chin into the jacket so that as much of his skin was shielded from the cold as possible. You’ve gotta fuckin’ stop with this, Eddie. The dreams… they don’t mean anything. He’s just a dude in glasses. Nobody. Focus. Forget about it. He sighed, quickly weaving through the slow walkers on the sidewalk and darting down into the subway tunnel, taking the stairs two at a time, grateful for a break from the incessant wind. When he got home and went to sleep, he had the same dream as always, but this time it was clearer than it had ever been.

The audition went fine, not as well as he’d hoped, but Richie wasn’t worried about it, he enjoyed his job in California; although Los Angeles did seem a bit lonely sometimes. He was glad to be heading back to Maine for the week to spend Christmas with his parents, who he hadn’t seen in over ten years, always too busy building his career to make it back home. This was the first year since he left for college that he was finally able to take a few days off and be home again. He thought about his childhood as he packed up his hotel room from his quick, three-day stay, pondered why he could remember hardly any details from that period of his life at all--not even the name of his best friend.  

He’d run around with a bunch of kids in those years, but there was just one. He knew there was always just one. The one that he wanted to spend all of his time with, the only one he still had any semblance of a memory of: band-aids, tears, cheeks flushed a darker red than Richie had ever seen in anyone--or had ever seen since. The one thing he remembered from his childhood, clear as a bell: the tinkling, warm laugh that echoed from his friend’s freckled, pink lips. The laugh he’d spent his entire childhood and adolescence doing anything and everything to elicit. The reason he still enjoyed making people laugh, why he’d made a career of it. He smiled to himself as he puttered around the room, his mind distracted by all manner of things, the man from the other day all but forgotten.

He gave one last look around to make sure he hadn’t forgotten anything then rolled his suitcase out the door behind him. The drive to the airport was slower this time than it had been three days before; snow began to fall about halfway through the drive, covering the city in a layer of pristine, sparkling powder. Richie watched out the window as the car blazed past skyscraper after skyscraper, his breath fogging up the window.

By the time he got dropped off at the airport, the snow hadn’t stopped, in fact, it hadn’t slowed at all. It looked as though there was a large possibility of his flight being grounded for the night, although he’d been refreshing his email every five minutes for the entire duration of the car ride, checking for news from the airline as well as from SNL. No news yet, so he strolled on in and through security quickly. He grabbed his backpack and tennis shoes from the scanner after they came out and sat in a nearby chair to put them back on. As he was slipping his second shoe on, a body plopped down next to him to do the same, dropping a pair of suede ankle boots on the tile floor with a loud slap. Richie could overhear him talking with someone on the phone frantically and snuck a peek up at the man. He was pressing his iPhone between his shoulder and his ear tightly, rambling so quick Richie wasn’t sure how he could get a breath between the words.

“I know, Ma.”

“Yes, I checked, it looks like it’s still going out.”

“It’s really not that bad, I pr--”

“Well, the news always exaggerates, you know th--”

“Yes, I’ll tell the pilot to be careful. Sure.”

“Mhm-- Yeah. Bye, Mom.”

He sighed loudly as he hung up the phone, dropping it onto the seat next to him then bending over to put his shoes back on. He chuckled quietly, “Sorry if you overheard any of that…” he said as he fiddled with the hems of his jeans, folding them just so and tucking them back under the tongue of his shoes, tying them up with the thin laces. He smiled over at Richie, who was still bent over working on the same shoe he had been when the other man had sat down.

“Hey… you’re that dude from the other day, aren’t you?” Richie asked quietly.

The guy screwed up his face, sitting back up. Richie followed, and he watched as realization fell over his features. “Oh my god, yeah. I’m sorry about that, I was just off a twelve-hour shift and…” he blushed and tried to flatten the hair on the back of his head, just long enough to show a slight curl. “And I was tired. But I’m Eddie.”

“Richie. Pleased to meet you, Eddie. Where ya headed?”

Eddie stood up, beckoning Richie to follow. “Bangor. You?” He asked, slinging his bag over his shoulder.

“No shit? Same.”

“Oh that’s weird… I’d definitely peg you for a west coast type of guy.”

Richie laughed, warm, loud, “Ah, yeah. I’ve lived there for almost ten years. Born and raised in Maine though, baby,” he said, pushing his glasses up on his nose as his laughter yielded a snort.

“Don’t call me baby,” Eddie snapped. He’d always hated being called baby, although no one he’d ever dated had used the pet name; it stemmed from something else. It wasn’t his mother, as she favored more cushy pet names for him: Eddie-bear, muffin, sweetheart. Someone else had called him baby, had used it so many times. Why couldn’t he remember? The only thing he had left of the name were the feelings attached to it: the pain, the sorrow, the grief.

Richie put up his hands defensively, “Sorry ‘bout that, it’s a habit.” He checked his watch, there were still two hours until the flight was due to start boarding. “You on the same flight as me? The 4:45 one?” Eddie simply nodded in response, looking over at him with warm eyes. “Wanna get some food? I’m fucking starving.”

Eddie, in turn, checked his phone for the time and shrugged. “Sure, what did you have in mind?”

“Well I don’t know about you, but dat Chili’s 2go really hits the spot pre-flight, it’s an absolute delicacy.” Eddie laughed, a sound that made Richie’s head spin, made his heart ache. He beamed, “Letsa go!”

Eddie shot him a smirk, “You know Chili’s doesn’t serve Italian food, right?”

“It does if you order the spaghetti,” Richie quipped with a laugh.

After wandering around for ten minutes only to discover--to Richie’s utter dismay--that there was, in fact, no Chili’s 2go in their terminal, they settled for a little bar that wasn’t too busy, sitting down in a corner booth in the warm, dimly lit restaurant. When the waitress came over, Eddie immediately ordered “the biggest glass of red wine you guys are allowed to serve.” As she walked away, Richie’s eyebrows shot up at him, above his glasses and into the mess of his hair.

Eddie shrugged, “I fuckin’ hate flying. Plus, it’s an airport, everyone is allowed to drink here at any time of the day, right?”

Richie chuckled, “If I got drunk I’d spend the entirety of the flight trying to get you to let me blow you in the tiny airplane bathroom.”

Eddie’s mouth hung open in horror, “God, that’s fucking disgusting. Is everyone like this in California? Do you guys not have germs there?”

Richie winked, “Sorry.”

“So, anyway, what were you doing in New York?”

“Well, uh, actually… I was auditioning for SNL,” Richie said nonchalantly, looking down at his water glass and taking a small sip of it through the straw.

Eddie raised his eyebrows, his eyes twinkling in the soft light of the restaurant. “That’s cool, what the hell?”

Richie shrugged. “I do a lot of stand up in LA, my agent knows a guy who knows a guy.”

“That’s so fucking cool.”

Richie nodded, “It was terrifying though. Did you know they don’t laugh when you audition? Like at all. They’re not supposed to.”

“God, count me out. I can’t even make old people laugh. And they don’t have the internet, they don’t see any jokes.”

Richie smiled, “Maybe that’s ‘cause they’re just distracted by how cute you are.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Eddie replied, stifling a grin as his cheeks turned a dark, warm rouge. Richie’s heart nearly stopped beating at the sight.

They finished their meal with more expository conversation and slightly less dirty talk, although it was admittedly not much better. Eddie’s cheeks slightly flushed from the wine, Richie’s cheeks sore from smiling, they wandered to their gate quietly. “Well, we’ve still got like an hour…” Eddie yawned as he checked his boarding pass, looking around at the gate numbers ahead of them. “Ah! Over there,” he said, pointing to a sign that read 35, the area underneath already had some people milling around it.

They found a set of chairs that was as secluded as you can really get in an airport and they both sat down, depositing their bags and coats on the chairs on either side of them. After a few seconds, Eddie looked over and nudged Richie, who was rustling around in his backpack. “Will you. Uh. Would you watch my stuff if I nap for a little? I can’t sleep on planes, but I’m fucking exhausted.”

Richie nodded, zipping up his backpack after having retrieved a book from it. “Sure thing, sweet cheeks.”

Eddie rolled his eyes, “Don’t… call me…” he was interrupted by another yawn, this one bigger than the last. “Whatever.” He pulled his knees up in front of him in the chair and reached for his coat, covering himself in it completely; only his head poked out above the thick fur that lined the hood. “Wake me up before they start boarding, I’m in the first boarding group.”

“Damn, how’d you swing that?”

He looked up at Richie, his eyes already half-closed with sleep yet still somehow managing to shoot daggers, “Printed off my boarding pass in a timely manner.”

Richie raised his eyebrows, “Well alright, just call me out for poor time management.”

Eddie nestled further into his coat, closing his eyes completely, “Mhm. Night, Rich.”

Richie’s heart soared at the pet name, his stomach fluttering with warmth. He smiled to himself as he looked over at Eddie, already breathing evenly next to him.

After about forty-five minutes, Richie was abruptly pulled from his book by an announcement over the loudspeaker that their flight would be delayed by at least an hour. He folded down the corner of his page and set his book aside, turning to look at his still fast-asleep neighbor. His voice low, he placed a hand on Eddie’s shoulder softly.

“Hey. Eddie,” he whispered, pressing his fingertips lightly into Eddie’s arm.

Eddie stirred, but not enough to move or even open his eyes, “Mmm?” He grumbled, curling up under his coat even more than he already was.

Richie kept his voice at a whisper, “Flight’s delayed. Another hour.”

Eddie murmured some sleep sounds, balling his fists up in the fur of his coat and wrapping it around his sides. “Good. Hndhdon’t wanna,” he let out a long, deep exhale, “dohnwandjsee my mom ahneeway.”

Richie chuckled, “That’s okay, Eds.”

Eddie, almost fully back asleep now, leaned over the armrest separating them and rested his head on Richie’s shoulder, nestling his cheek into the soft material of Richie’s baseball tee.

“Dohncallmeethat,” he whispered on an exhale, and his next intake of breath was a sleep-gurgled almost-snore. It was Richie’s turn to blush, he stifled a smile as he recovered his book and opened it back up.

After another hour, Eddie began slowly to wake back up, his eyes fluttering and a yawn breaking his lips apart as he sat up, sloughing off the coat, now too hot under its insulation. He looked at Richie, his cheeks flushed slightly from the warmth and the sleep. “Uh. Sorry for… I didn’t realize… That I’d been sleeping on you… How long was I out?”

“Like two hours,” Richie replied, a grin on his face. “I bet they start boarding soon, the snow stopped a bit ago.”

Eddie attempted to keep another yawn at bay, “Thank god. My mom is gonna have a fucking conniption.”

“Yeah, you said something about her while you slept,” Richie said, looking down to make eye contact with Eddie.

His eyes flew open wide, panic on his face. “Fuck. What did I talk about? I have weird dreams a lot… Didn’t realize I talked during them. That’s.” He paused, running a hand through the hair that was kinked on one side from being pressed against Richie’s shoulder. “That’s great.”

“Oh, not much. You just said you didn’t wanna see her.”

Eddie looked relieved. “Oh. Well yeah, that’s not untrue. She’s… A lot.”

“Sounded like it. From what I overheard when you were talking to her on the phone earlier…” Richie trailed off, the PA system in their gate had turned on, a bored-sounding woman began to drone out their flight information.

“Boarding for flight XF56G to Bangor will start in the next twenty minutes, sorry for the delay.”

“Where’s your seat?” Richie asked, still looking at Eddie, now rifling through his coat pockets for his boarding pass.

“12G,” he replied, neatly refolding his boarding pass and tucking it into his pants pocket.

Richie hastily retrieved his, folded and nestled into the back of the book he’d been reading. “Dang it, I’m 23B.”

Eddie smiled snarkily, “What I get for being on time.”

Richie glowered over at him, “Whatever, a flight’s a flight. Sucks no matter what.”

Eddie shrugged, “I guess you’re right. Well, it’s been fun, thanks for not stealing my shit while I slept.”

“All I had to do was sit here and watch you look pretty,” Richie replied. “Wasn’t too hard of a task.”

“I swear to go--” Eddie started, but was interrupted by the call for boarding group A, of which he was a part. “Well, maybe we could, uh…” He cleared his throat as he stood up, folding his coat over his forearm neatly. “Maybe we could get drinks or something while we’re in town, I’m only about twenty-five minutes outside of Bangor… God knows I’ll need the alcohol.”

Richie smiled. “Me too, maybe we could meet in the middle. Now go, or you’re gonna forfeit your precious group A standing. Find you after the flight.”

Eddie nodded, turning around and hastily pushing past strollers and bags and masses of people to make his way to the desk, turning around to shoot Richie one last grin before he disappeared behind the door.

The flight was quick, not even two hours. Richie spent most of it reading and attempting to sleep, although neither was going very well at all. He was continually interrupted by snippets of memories, playing in his head like snapshots; popping up and disappearing like old, faded polaroids. Things from his childhood he’d since completely wiped from his mind; at first, it was his parents, yelling at him for breaking his glasses, praising him for his A averages, worrying at him for something that to him was still a cloudy and nameless entity in his head. A relationship, maybe, but he hadn’t dated anyone in high school. Hadn’t he?

Then came his friends; the treasure trove of memories that opened up the moment he began to recall them was immense, it was endless. Summers spent swimming at the quarry, the years when time had had no illusion of significance, no meaning at all. The group of them roving the entire town on their bikes as if they owned the damn place, building the clubhouse in the barrens, hiding out from their bullies there. He was abruptly ambushed by memories of those boys, the bullies who’d made his and his friends’ lives living hell until one by one they’d moved all out of Derry. These memories he’d packed so far away he wondered if he’d been paying the bills for the storage space these had taken up, they surely had not been in his head all this time.

He remembered his friends one by one, Bill first. Bill. He hadn’t had a name in years, hadn’t thought about his friends since he’d moved, every attempt had ended with him left more confused, with more details forgotten. God, had he adored Bill. The leader, the coolest one of all of them by leaps and bounds. Bill’s power over them had been unmatched, they had all loved him, stutter and all. He then remembered Beverly, cooler than Bill by all standards but their own for no discernible reason. He recalled her beauty, but more than that he recalled her biting wit, her fierce loyalty, her courage. He remembered the others too, nearly all at once. Stan, Mike, Ben, their faces came up in his mind as if he was looking at photos, as if he was watching the greatest hits of his life. They came crashing into the forefront of his mind like a shattered stained-glass window being reassembled in front of his eyes.

Just as the plane began its final descent, more memories came to the surface, ripping through the others almost violently, overtaking all of his other thoughts like brushfire and flooding his mind with nothing but Eddie Eddie Eddie. Cute cute cute. How he could have forgotten him he had not the slightest notion, but those years with Eddie came rushing back, and suddenly it was all he could do not to pass out. They came over him in a deluge, swarming in his head like bees and making him light-headed. Little Eddie Kaspbrak, little in stature but never in character. His friend with the asthma that had turned out to be nothing but a bad case of worrying. His friend who had carefully and meticulously cleaned up and bandaged his knee that one day he’d fallen from the back of Bill’s bike, the only one of them able to stay calm and level-headed through all of the blood, all of the pain. His friend with the too short shorts and the too big t-shirts. His best friend. The love of his life.

Richie felt the plane land, hard and fast, felt his seat underneath his legs jostle him around as they made a bouncy impact with the ground, the movement slowing down as they taxied to the gate. He was pulled from the cavern of his thoughts, he looked up and around the plane, searching for that warm brown head of hair he’d just spent so many years without. It had been ten years, but the next five minutes were due to be the longest of his life. The moment the plane stopped moving, Richie unbuckled and jumped up, joined by some of the other overeager passengers. And Eddie. Richie caught sight of the button nose as the man turned his head, his eyes desperately searching the overcrowded cabin for the boy he’d been in love with since before he even knew what love was. The smile that was on Eddie’s face, his eyes brimming with tears, communicated exactly what they were both feeling. The rush of emotions, the inability to wait five minutes even though they’d waited years already. Richie just stared back, unaware of what his face looked like, although he supposed he probably looked like a damn slack-jawed idiot.

They held eye contact until Eddie’s seatmate exited the aisle and followed the line of passengers off the plane. Eddie tore his eyes away and reluctantly followed, flashing an uneasy, impatient smile before he moved. Richie waited patiently--as patiently as he could, although patience had never been his strong suit. When it was finally his turn, Richie moved anxiously off the plane, following the mass of people in front of him who apparently felt that it was okay to walk as slow as physically possible. On the jet bridge, he began to bob and weave through bodies, trying not to push anyone but nearly mowing down a few old ladies, hobbling at an astoundingly low speed through the wide tunnel. The moment he stepped off, his eyes found Eddie, who was waiting patiently for him, bag and coat in hand. Eddie smiled as Richie approached, dropping his belongings on the floor to reach out to him. Their bodies collided solidly, Richie also cast his bag away, their things in a messy heap on the dirty airport floor.

Richie looked down, looked closer this time than he had before. “Eds.” He fixed his glasses on his face, as if unsure whether or not his eyes were betraying him. “Eddie.”

Eddie nodded, tears welling in his eyes. “Richie,” he whispered.

Richie reached his free hand to cup Eddie’s cheek, letting his thumb swipe softly back and forth across his high cheekbone, still as littered with freckles as it had been when they were fourteen. Richie could feel his eyes wetting as well and blinked a few times, refusing to tear his eyes away from Eddie’s, they were still the same warm, hazel brown with flecks of gray. Richie could feel Eddie staring back up at him, boring holes into his own crystal blue eyes, cast into an almost clear aqua by the brilliant afternoon sunlight reflecting off the snow outside, magnified by the thick lenses that sat in front of them. As they looked at each other for the first time in over ten years--really looked at each other--Richie could feel every single memory of them crashing over him like a tidal wave, crushing him and building him back up again, and he could see the hurricane raging on behind Eddie’s eyes as well. He remembered the long glances, the soft touches, the warm, summer sun reflecting off the water, shining on their wet hair and their wet arms, coaxing freckles out of hiding. The bitter winters, those memories still dominated by warmth, the campfires, the backseat of Richie’s truck with the heater all the way up, the two of them wrapped up under blankets in the same bed. The hot breaths and lingering touches, tingling, warm skin covered with goosebumps. The warmth coming to a crescendo, a blaze that had destroyed everything in its path, igniting their lives and incinerating everything within reach. The fight that had ended it all, and the cold that it had left behind. Replaced again with only longing glances out the back of car windows, driving opposite directions across the country.

Richie watched as Eddie lost his battle with the tears in his eyes, letting a sob escape his chest, beaming up at Richie as the tears began to fell. “It’s been… God, it’s been so long, Rich. So fucking long. And how did we-- how did we not...”

“I don’t know… It doesn’t matter though. Because we’re here. And we remember. And… I never told you when we were younger because I was seventeen and a fucking idiot. But I love you, Eddie. I have since the moment I met you, and… I don’t think I stopped, even while I couldn’t remember you.”

Eddie smiled, laughing through the tears. “I love you too.” Just then, Eddie’s phone began to ring in his pocket, vibrating between them. He pulled it out hastily, sighing at the screen and pressing it up to his ear. “Mom. I just landed, calm down. I’ll be there soon.”

“Yes, I--”

“No, it’s fine, I can--”

Richie chuckled softly to himself as he watched Eddie’s brow furrow, and he reached in his pocket to retrieve his own phone. He read through the few texts he’d missed, deciding to deal with them at a later time. He took a deep breath as he opened his email, refreshing it slowly, ready to see nothing. When it finally loaded, there were two messages. Both from his manager. With shaking fingers, he opened the first one. His eyes pored over the screen, barely reading the words, attempting to absorb the contents of the entire paragraph at once. He scrolled to the bottom quickly, not really retaining any of the text at the top. When he got to the last line, it said this: “I know you’ll have scrolled through this whole thing and not read any of it. So, here’s the deal…”

He looked up at Eddie, who’d just hung up his phone in frustration. Eddie’s eyes went soft when he caught sight of Richie’s face. “What’s up?”

“I did it, Eddie,” he said, exhaling a short, relieved laugh. “I got the job.”

[meditativeyoga]

10 Things We Didn`t Know About Yoga Until This Must-Read Dropped

Forget whatever you assumed you found out about yoga exercise history. Author Matthew Remski evaluates the new publication Roots of Yoga and also (spoiler alert) shares 10 of its greatest surprises.

Imagine you're a guppy in a fishbowl. Simply swimming around among the phony algae and also little plastic castle. If you're precocious you'll have an unclear hunch that there's something small or counterfeit regarding your little world. As well as recently, the waves have actually chosen up. Your water is sloshing as well as swirling. What's going on?

This is just what being an English-speaking yoga nerd has resembled over the past years. The waves originate from yoga scientists like Norman Sjoman, Suzanne Newcombe, Elizabeth de Michelis, David Gordon White as well as others, carrying your aquarium along the winding course of yoga exercise history as well as anthropology. You could have heard features of yoga exercise's relationship to Indian fumbling, the innovation of the modern-day master, and also just how some yogis just weren't exactly known for non-violence. In 2010 they handed it off to Mark Singleton, whose magazine of Yoga Body: The Beginnings of Modern Position Practice caused a small bedlam, sucking you down into the opportunity that every little thing you 'd pertain to believe regarding yoga exercise through its modern-day advertising and marketing may be a misconception. While you were down there you additionally heard something concerning social appropriation, yet you were wheezing for breath and also could not rather make it out.

Now, 2017 will certainly be referred to as the year when Oxford Sanskritist Sir Jim Mallinson grabbed hold too. With the publication of Roots of Yoga (Penguin, 2017), he and also Dr. Singleton have actually unloaded your aquarium into the sea, releasing you to the wilds. However not without navigating devices. With brand-new important translations of over 100 obscure yoga texts dating from 1000 BCE to the 19th century, threaded with each other with clear as well as steady-as-she-goes discourse, these authors have charted the deep.

Their constantly varied sources-- equated from Sanskrit (naturally) but additionally Tibetan, Arabic, Persian, Bengali, Tamil, Pali, Kashmiri, as well as very early kinds of Marathi and Hindi-- explode the readily available sources for everyday professionals. They sink the ideas that yoga exercise is any solitary point that anybody has ever set or that it brings every person to the very same location. Currently, there's nothing to do but swim. As you do, right here are 10 deep-sea explorations (as well as a few monsters) you'll run into:

1. Shock horror! The Yoga exercise Sutras are not widely approved ...

... or perhaps respected among yoga exercise adepts. Composing in his 18th century Haṃsavilāsa, Haṃsamiṭṭhu tells his spouse and also fellow visitor Haṃsi: "Precious woman, Patañjali's training is nonsense, since there is absolutely nothing reasonable in anything attained forcibly."

2. Historically, if ladies practiced yoga, they were primarily unnoticeable or sexually objectified.

Domestic tête-à-têtes apart, "texts on yoga are written from the perspective of male professionals," confirm the writers. "There are no pre-modern depictions of females practising yogic poses ... Sanskrit as well as vernacular poems of ... north Indian ascetic traditions are highly misogynistic ... Ladies are never clearly restricted from practising yoga exercise, although [medieval] haṭha messages generally urge that male yogis need to avoid the business of women." Other than, naturally, when they have to procure menstrual fluid to get superpowers. (You'll need to read the book for that a person.) The sexism at play here relates to the anxiety that ladies are the key thieves of "bindu," or seminal fluid, which numerous middle ages yogis looked for to sublimate into overjoyed understanding. Clearly, all of this things has to be revisited and also revised by a worldwide society that now contains 80% women.

3. The social appropriation as well as religious identity disputes in yoga are even muddier than we understood.

Mallinson as well as Singleton effectively show that Buddhists (Indian and Tibetan), Jains, or even atheists all lay claim to yoga exercise strategies. And that knew? Muslims also exercised a whole lot of yoga, and created outstanding books concerning it.

4. Middle ages yogis recognized that asana-- and pranayama-- can be harmful.

“In the Gorakṣaśataka, as an example, we reviewed, 'Through practising yoga I have actually come to be sick'." Then there were several yogis who assumed postures as well as breathwork were whack. "There is no factor in spending a lengthy time cultivating the breaths [or] practicing hundreds of breath-retentions," states the 12th century Amanaska writing, "which trigger illness as well as are tough, [or] great deals of agonizing as well as tough to understand seals. When [the no-mind state] has actually developed, the magnificent breath spontaneously and also right away vanishes."

5. "Vinyāsa" didn't constantly imply a "series of postures."

Mallinson and Singleton create: "The Sanskrit word vinyāsa made use of ... by Krishnamacharya as well as his students to represent a phase in among these connected sequences is not found with this meaning in pre-modern messages on yoga exercise ... Vinyāsa and also relevant words are more usual in tantric messages, where they generally refer to the setup of mantras on the body ... The modern use of vinyāsa is therefore a reassignment of the significance of a typical Sanskrit word ..." This does not make vinyāsa any less effective, obviously, unless its results come partly from faith.

6. Body image isn't really simply a contemporary yoga exercise trouble.

Medieval yogis were stressed with slimness. The primary cleaning methods focused solely on losing weight are defined in most of the haṭha texts. Maybe today's yoga exercise feminism, which is gradually steering the culture toward body positivity, is likewise recovering an ancient fatphobia.

7. The chakras are as a lot a spiritual dream as a really felt reality.

Different yoga exercise sects mention 4, 5, 6, or twelve chakras. So that's right? One says that if you can't situate the chakras within you, that's okay-- doing a fire ceremony is equally as excellent. The chakras "are not a result of the yogi's empirical observation," compose the writers, "however instead components of a visualized setup on the body of tradition-specific metaphysics and ritual schemata." To puts it simply: they are ways of "clothing" the body in spiritual imagery proprietary to various method teams. This holds an important message for practitioners who recognize that language remains to affect physical experience. "The goals of a certain system," compose our authors, "establish the means the body is visualized as well as used within its yoga exercise methods. The yogic body was-- and remains to be in conventional specialist circles-- one that is built or 'written' on as well as in the body of the specialist by the custom itself."

8. "Yogic suicide" is a thing.

But is it actually suicide? In many communities, samādhi was considered as a joyous meditation where the yogi, intentionally as well as happily, never ever emerged. Yet instead of leaving the world, the 11th century Amṛtasiddhi suggests it's even more concerning combining the body with the serenity of the world, while solving the unknowability of the moment of fatality. "When the sun, in line with Meru, stops carrying on the left, know that to be the equinox, an auspicious time in the body. By acknowledging the equinox in their own bodies, yogis, packed with the vigour [created by] their technique, conveniently abandon their bodies in yogic self-destruction at the correct time."

9. A dominant motif of middle ages pranayama was complete self-sufficiency.

Muslim yogis give the example of the embryo, breathing its very own liquids, within a womb. This lines up with 19th century records of yogis burying themselves in underground caverns for months on end, stopping their breath in suspended computer animation. This might sound appealing for the modern-day specialist determined to conceal from the 24-hour information cycle.

10. If you read this book, you are distinct in yoga background.

No one has had such broad accessibility to the variety of traditions as we have now. We used to be offered techniques. Currently we are given choices.

So this is simply a couple of decrease in a whole lot of ocean. It's a vast and maybe frightening region. Guppies, besides, can easily obtain lost, or ingested by bigger fish. However after that-- so was old Matsyendranath, the orphan young boy who, legend states, founded haṭha yoga. He was deserted at the shore by his parents and gobbled up entire by a whale, which then took a deep dive. By chance or fate, this provided him the opportunity to eavesdrop on Siva as well as Parvati as they rested on the sea floor, murmuring concerning the mysteries of yoga. He listened for 12 years, which is regarding for how long it will take this reviewer to completely soak up Roots of Yoga. And, probably-- for it to come to be the leading book on every yoga exercise teacher training analysis list in the English-speaking world.

[xx-ingie-xx]

A Summary of All Changes in the Fortitude Revision So Far (Chapters 1-35)

Rather than submit individual posts each time I update the Fortitude revision (aka Epic Edit), I’ve decided to outline all the changes in one continuous summary post, and I will reblog this same post with updates until the revision is complete. 

Every chapter has received a thorough editing to improve style and flow, and many have been almost completely rewritten. This summary outlines changes to the story or characters. Details after the break:

Chapter 1

- Trimmed down and/or improved background info and general descriptions. Some sections have been placed in other chapters for better, more gradual pacing through the background story (I hope – this was very difficult!). - Removed the Council member Lord Pierson, simply because I couldn’t remember his purpose, lol. He seemed redundant to Lord Timothus. - Gave the ministers all last names. - Briefly explained the Alliance and made Impa Hyrule’s representative.

Chapter 2

- Introduced Lady Ariella and made her the Chamberlain, which is basically the castle housekeeper. - Edited more background info - Described the throne room (which is called the Audience Chamber) - Changed the conversation with Zelda’s ladies-in-waiting

Chapter 3

- Edited the conversations between Link and Zelda to sound more natural - Removed scene between Vasilis and the necromancer (too short to be important and no longer fit timeline, removing it also adds to the mystery) - More background info changes

Chapter 4

- Edited the conversation between Link and Zelda - Trimmed down the journey to the rendezvous site - Impa accompanies Zelda at the rendezvous - Improved the conversation between Zelda and Ashton

Chapter 5

- Basically unchanged, just lots of rewording and general polishing

Chapter 6

- Edited the scene between Link and Zelda

Chapter 7

- Placed a section from Ch 8 at the end

Chapter 8

- Added a new section during the journey to the camp - Ian accompanies Zelda (and Adam and two other guards) - I dropped subtle hints regarding Zelda’s pregnancy, so her miscarriage seems less random (and so her loss of magic is consistent throughout the story)

Chapter 9

- Basically unchanged, just lots of rewording and general polishing

Chapter 10

- Gave the Alliance city a name: Antheia - Removed Adam Carlen’s hearing scene – summarized instead (distracts from the main plotline, not important enough for a whole scene) - Impa leaves sooner - goes to Antheia to inform the Alliance of Ashton’s use of dark magic - Ashton does not have his second staff when he storms the castle (this will be important in coming chapters)

Chapter 11

- New scene added with a conversation between Ashton and Vasilis hours after Ashton conquers Hyrule. I felt I needed to set the tone of Ashton settling into Hyrule Castle. I also wanted to explain a few things that were previously left unmentioned. - Zelda’s conversation with Siena has been changed:      - Siena tells her the Hylian soldiers are being kept in a Vandelian prison (I was pretty vague about what happened to them last time, so I changed it to make more sense)      - Zelda does not promise to have Clef released (she doesn’t have that kind of influence this time)      - Siena tells her an awful rumor about Link is spreading, and some people are angry or fearful enough to believe it - middle class and nobles alike.

Chapter 12

- The background story of Link’s narrow escape from death during the Retribution War has been altered to make more sense (realistically Link could not have been delivered to Hyrule Castle on horseback due to his distant location and the seriousness of his injuries). - Zelda does not plead for Clef’s release to Ashton but instead demands to know the awful rumor about Link. Ashton tells her in front of the court, and she pleads with them not to believe his lies. - Ashton also tells her the Alliance came and went while she was ill, they apparently bought his lies and chose to watch him from afar (as Zelda feared they would).

Chapter 13

- Zelda plans to meet with the other tribe leaders of Hyrule and search for the Triforce of Courage. - A section from the old version was removed – when she overheard some grounds people talking about Shade. In reality they would be too afraid to say such things within earshot of the Vandelian guards. This time she hears about him from Siena and at court – which makes more sense anyway. - Zelda does not seek out Shade; he interferes with her attack in the alley by chance.

Chapter 14

- The scene with Ashton and Vasilis has been changed – Vasilis is concerned about the Alliance discovering the second staff and about Link escaping the necromancer’s lair. - Most of the dialog between Link and Zelda has been rewritten and some changes have been made: - Link plans to go rescue the Hylian soldiers. - Link does not tell Zelda to stay at the castle. I realized he absolutely would not send her back to Ashton >.> Face palm moment there. Instead Zelda chooses to stay to keep the Vandelians off his back while he organizes the Resistance. - Zelda convinces Link to take the Ocarina (I realized she would not take no for an answer after everything that’s happened >.>), and he promises to return it.

Chapter 15

- Removed Siena’s third visit - redundant, unnecessary - Removed Great Fairy scene - that was a weak attempt to start the gradual downward spiral Hyrule faces with Ashton on the throne, but in retrospect it felt like random filler - Took one of Zelda’s visions from 16 and placed it at the end

Chapter 16

- Added a little more background info on Link’s and Zelda’s past - Added a small part where Zelda gets the Ocarina back

Chapter 17

- Nabooru talks about the rescue mission Link mentions in 14 - The necromancer’s lair is located in a place called Gerudo Chasm - More Gerudo accompany Zelda and Nabooru to the lair - Zelda finds Link’s wedding ring in the lair

Chapter 18

- Improved the dialogue/interaction between Link and Zelda to feel more natural - Link talks about the first time his scar spread. (There is now a specific trigger/pattern that will become evident in future chapters.) - The book they find in the necromancer’s lair has been changed a bit – it’s now a journal containing an account of the Imprisoning War (the torn page they find still contains the prophesy they can’t read) - Zelda returns Link’s wedding ring - I moved some conversation around to better work with the flow of the chapter

Chapter 19

- Improved the dialogue/interaction between Link and Zelda to feel more natural - Link asks her not to return to the castle, but Zelda is too terrified to do it (for multiple reasons, primarily Link’s safety) - Zelda doesn’t freak out about the necromancer telling Ashton about Link – I figure that would have already occurred to her (it still comes up but differently) - Zelda asks Nabooru to help keep her informed about Link’s scar - Link tells her there may be a second staff

Chapter 20

- Changed some details about the funeral as well as Zelda’s thoughts (some parts felt digressive or repetitive) - Ian is present - Renae and Kinsley speak (though I wrote a bit of dialogue for Kinsley only; the rest is summarized) - This chapter concentrates more on the public and how they react to the funeral. - Zelda’s interaction with Ashton has changed – Alicia is not present (I felt it was too similar to a scene in 12). Her treasonous comments will happen in a later chapter. - Zelda decides to find the staff, not destroy it (since they need it as evidence against Ashton).

Chapters 21 & 22

- Zelda still uses Ashton to get into his bedroom and find the staff. She does find it, but she fails to obtain it. - The necromancer makes another “deal” with Ashton regarding Link. - Link does not reveal himself, and Ashton keeps his survival quiet by locking Zelda in the dungeon. - There is no annulment, since Link is still declared dead. - Heather visits Zelda in the prison (under Ashton’s orders). - Zelda asks Heather to sneak her the Ocarina, which she uses to escape and find Link. - Zelda finds Saria in the Sacred Forest Meadow, and Saria brings her to the Resistance camp for the first time. (Link is not there.)

Chapter 23-25

- Zelda is brought to Goron City after she loses consciousness. There she speaks with Darunia for the first time in the story, so I pulled some text from Ch. 29 and posted it here instead. Darunia tells Zelda where Link is. - Those obnoxious Resistance members that mistreat Zelda in Ch. 23 have been deleted, mainly because I don’t think such amateurs would have direct access to Link. He’s too important. Only people he really trusts would work with him directly (outside the camp), and he would be better protected for the sake of secrecy. - The Resistance hideout in Kakariko Village is in Cleia’s cellar, not Impa’s house. Vandelians have claimed Impa’s house for their own amusements. - Since the annulment hasn’t happened, Link and Zelda’s conversation has been altered (Link is not so cold this time around). Their conversations in Ch. 24 and 25 have also been edited accordingly. - Zelda (willingly) tells Link she’ll stay with him in Ch. 23 but she still ends up surrendering to the Vandelians to create a diversion, so she’s unable to keep her word (for now).

Chapter 26

– Zelda’s visions in the very beginning are new. – Zelda fights back and tries to flee the castle before she passes out – The scene where Maddox treats Heather has been altered to flow better. – One of the biggest changes to the story overall: Zelda does NOT agree to sign the annulment. I was never happy with that part of the story, but at the time I thought Zelda didn’t really have a choice. After all the changes I’ve made, I felt it no longer made sense for Zelda to bend to Ashton’s wishes. To start, she has every intention of leaving the castle as soon as possible, so why break her vows to Link when Kaepora might turn up with the Ocarina at any moment? Second, Ashton has publicly declared Link dead, so he risks Zelda publicizing the annulment if he forces it on her – which would reflect pretty badly on him, since he lied about Link’s death. The last thing he needs is people doubting his word. Zelda knows this, so she uses it to her advantage. Also, Ashton doesn’t want to keep Zelda in a cell. He wants to parade her about and marry her before the entire kingdom – putting her in prison isn’t nearly as fun for him. Zelda knows this as well, so she calls his bluff. This scene is meant to show how Zelda and Ashton are playing a twisted game of sorts, each seeing how far they can push each other. Ashton may have sole rule over Hyrule, but Zelda knows too many of his secrets.

Chapter 27

– No one, not even Heather, knows about Zelda’s pregnancy. Zelda fears that telling anyone would endanger not only the baby, but the person sharing her secret. – Only those two women suspect Zelda’s pregnancy, and Zelda quickly fabricates another explanation. These women represent the fact that not everyone supports Ashton and that some do fear for Zelda. It also shows how increasingly difficult it will be for Zelda to keep her secret, which emphasizes her desperate need for the Ocarina. – The scene where Zelda treats Heather’s wounds has been significantly expanded to build Heather’s character and develop her bond with Zelda. Heather’s and Adam’s background has also been edited slightly – Adam now excels at carpentry instead of cooking (so that will be changed in 29 as well). I felt this change better suited Adam’s character as well as the OoT universe, since there are actually carpenters in Kakariko in OoT. Another bigger change is that Zelda does not tell Heather that Link is alive. – The scene where Ashton presents Zelda’s gown for the engagement gala has been altered. Zelda is still troubled by the gown, but I chose to dwell on it only briefly. Zelda acknowledges her humiliation, but she has much bigger concerns on her mind. Zelda also reacts to Ashton’s advance and instinctively twists his wrist. This demonstrates the growing tension between them – Ashton knows she’s not helpless, and Zelda knows she can’t lash out like that. All she can do is cause as little damage as possible until the Ocarina arrives. – I also moved the engagement gala to the beginning of Ch. 28.

Chapter 28

– The scene where Zelda is dressed for the gala has been removed – it felt utterly pointless in retrospect and didn’t demonstrate any tension that hasn’t already been established. – The gala is significantly altered. Zelda’s brief flashback to her engagement party with Link is has been removed because I didn’t think she would daydream about something like that, given her current circumstances. All she can think about is the present and her immediate concerns. As the night progresses, however, she does start to feel as though she’s been thrust into the past, and it haunts her. During her walk she sees one of Ashton’s lovers (something she dealt with back during their first engagement) and remembers how Link convinced her to defend her own happiness. Ashton then appears to reestablish his control over her. The private “exchange” between Zelda and Ashton shows how unpredictable and possessive Ashton has become, but it also shows that beneath his horrid exterior he is a damaged, misguided person, desperately trying to reclaim the past. – Zelda’s conversation with Alicia is new, but it did replace a similar conversation I removed from an earlier chapter (and gives Zelda reason to later ban Alicia from the court for treasonous behavior). Zelda is also dancing with Ashton when she faints instead of some random lord. – Maddox doesn’t have the chance to figure out that Zelda is pregnant, since her escape is completely changed. I wanted to create a stronger sense of urgency compared to her previous escape. That she left Ashton in the middle of his gala made it all the more satisfying, I think. :D – The scene where Zelda and Heather take refuge in the Temple has been removed because Zelda loses consciousness. I had to cut it for the sake of pacing, but I might reinsert it somewhere else in the story if I see an opportunity. – Zelda’s reunion with Link has been completely rewritten. I felt the chapter flowed better without the scene where Link finds her and Heather in the Sacred Forest Meadow. I wanted to focus on the strong sense of relief shared by Link and Zelda, but I also emphasized the difference between Link and Ashton. This is symbolized in the way Link removes the uncomfortable gown and accessories that Ashton forced Zelda to wear.

Chapter 29

– The first scene with Ashton has been altered to make sense with the changes to Zelda’s escape. He also questions Kinsley instead of Maddox. I wanted to emphasize Ashton’s growing paranoia/irrationality in this scene. I also hinted at his plan to hire Jedrek Khar, so it doesn’t feel so random later on. – Originally there were two scenes between Link and Zelda–one where she wakes in the middle of the night and one where she has breakfast with Link. Those two have been replaced by one new scene taking place in the morning. I don’t remember why I did two in the first place, but it was unnecessary, and I really wanted to improve the conversation/banter between Link and Zelda. – Link is more aware of Zelda’s nervousness about the people of the camp distrusting or even resenting her (as well as her fears about the baby). – When Link and Zelda meet with the other Resistance leaders, Zelda addresses them herself. Having Link speak for her in the original was just dumb. *facepalm* – Link still asks Cleia to come and care for Zelda, but it is (and will be) much more fleshed out. It was so “oh by the way” in the original, which was dumb. – Zelda still promises to stay in the camp, but that scene is completely rewritten, and this time Link takes the Ocarina with him.

Chapters 30 & 31

- Zelda frets more about her reputation - A Resistance fighter from Aboda defies orders and rides to the Resistance camp to tell Zelda about the situation in Aboda, he also begs Zelda to come and help the victims of the Black Sleep, despite the obvious danger - Link and Zelda’s argument is not resolved as it was in the original and they don’t discuss Zelda’s insecurities regarding the baby. That comes in a later chapter. - Link and Zelda do not have active roles in the funeral; that is reserved for the people of Aboda. They are attending simply to pay their respects. - I created more tension when Link urges the people of Aboda to evacuate. They are proud and more reluctant to flee their beloved village.

Chapter 32

- Zelda goes to the Chamber of Sages to summon Ruto, Nabooru, Rauru, and Impa so she can alert them that a cleansing might be Link’s only hope of survival.

Chapter 33

- Zelda takes a much more dominant role in trying to wake Link or treat his wound. This includes climbing Death Mountain (through the crater) to speak with with the Great Fairy.  - The scene where Cleia assures Zelda her chances of a miscarriage have lessened has been removed. In a situation like this I see Zelda being very single minded and focused solely on saving Link. I removed her conversation with Heather for the same reason. Both scenes felt like digressive fluff that disrupted the flow of the chapter.  - Another major change to improve the poor pacing in this section of the story: Impa does not return at this point. She is still in Tar Alem and possibly in trouble. Because of this, the Black Echo curse is not yet revealed.  - Zelda visits the Great Fairy in the desert like she did in the original, but Nabooru escorts her there. Zelda does not collect a fairy as she did in the original, but the Great Fairy arranges for one to guide her in the Lost Woods. This is an example of taking some artistic license when minor and somewhat cumbersome gameplay details don’t translate well into storytelling. - Darunia, Saria, and Zelda take Link to the fountain (without Impa). - "Cutting the fat” allowed me to move some content from Ch. 34 into this chapter, ending it where Link finally wakes. This improves the pacing and gives me more freedom to focus on Link’s and Zelda’s confrontation/discussion in the next chapter.

Chapter 34

- Link still wakes in the fountain, basically the same scene but without Impa

- Their conversation in the Lost Woods has been altered, but it’s more or less the same concern as before = Link’s safety and well being

- In revising this story I’ve noticed I had a tendency to address too many personal conflicts at once or resolve them too quickly. In the old version of Ch. 34, Link and Zelda talked about a number of things when they were alone in the forest, but this time I wanted a straightforward conversation about one immediate issue = Link taking a less active role in the Resistance until they better understand what the curse is doing to him. The conversation ends before any agreement is made. 

- Clef isn’t the only one to be hanged this time -- Kinsley has also been declared a traitor. Zelda finds out telepathically from Darunia. I felt a need to streamline that last transition in 34, and I figured Darunia would try to inform Link and Zelda asap, since the hanging is at dawn.

Chapter 35

- I really cut back on the scenes leading up to the  execution. The first time I wrote this chapter I felt pressured to explain a believable rescue plan and then have it play out from Ashton’s perspective. In other words I made it more difficult than it had to be. This time I gave just enough information for the reader to trust that there’s a solid plan, but I keep the details a mystery. Ashton’s scene--when the rescue actually happens--is more effective that way. In this case there was too much redundancy in explaining the rescue and then showing it. The reader doesn’t know exactly what happened, but they know enough to trust the Resistance succeeded without being overloaded with details. That was my goal, at least. In short, I think this approach improved the delivery and the pacing of this chapter.

- I added a scene with Vasilis and Ashton. It introduces Jedrek Khar (though he’s not actually in the scene) and highlights the growing tension between Vasilis and Ashton. Vasilis dislikes Ashton, and he fears what Ashton might do next, but he tells himself that everything would work itself out if Zelda returned to the castle. He’s in denial at this point; he can’t face the gravity of his error just yet. 

- One big change is that Link participates in the rescue mission, when in the previous version he stayed behind. He frees Clef and Kinsley from the gallows and in that act he reveals to the public that he is still alive. It’s a brief moment with a big impact.

- Link and Zelda argue about Link doing stupid dangerous things (again). As much as Link regrets what Zelda has endured since Ashton brought him to the necromancer, and as much as he wants to live, he still can’t bring himself to play it safe. 

- Zelda suspects that Link is struggling with some underlying issue -- that the lack of concern for his own safety stems not only from being Hyrule’s Champion but from a subconscious, incessant need to prove his worth.

[moreinterestingonline]

Old Blogs

5/11/20If I was pressed, truly reamed and grilled, for the location of where the last five days went, I would not be able to produce a satisfactory answer. It seems like they just flew by with neither rhyme nor reason.What I’ve been thinking about during these past five days wouldn’t fit in a blog post, but I can highlight one central topic: world building. I’ve been trying to write three novels this year. I often get asked if it’s difficult to keep the worlds separate from one another. I usually answer with a “It’s really not that difficult” or segue into a cute anecdote about my dog, since most people aren’t interested in an actual answer. To those prepared to listen, I hand them a “yes and no.”No, it’s not as hard as it seems because I use one to escape the others. The worlds must be different, unique, and distinctive because any bleeding through wouldn’t offer me the complete new reality I crave when I am struck with writer’s block. I try to think of it as preparing for a triathlon. Sure, you use similar muscle groups to run, bike, and swim, but you don’t show up to the pool in track cleats because the detail would be identified as alien immediately.Yes, it is hard because the same overarching themes will appear as they will in an work of mortals. What kind of story would it be if there isn’t a struggle of good and evil? Would it be listed with the best sellers if there wasn’t an endearing mentor who gets killed at the beginning of the adventure? Oh? Too far? Even so, the themes that have defined my life will more than likely pop up in more than one of my books. I will have to work then even harder on my characters and their environments.These considerations are important to my approach to world building. I must carefully paint with three different pallets the physical attributes of each of my worlds. I must be cautious of what the careful reader might notice. I do not reuse sets or scripts. Still, as I compose three separate works, the ideas I believe in will show up in these different colors. I am only one writer with one perception of reality. I am extremely limited in my quest to entertain masses. All I can do is work and revise and work again, and hope that there are other people willing to step into my shoes.Personally, not a lot has been going on. Today was the first day in I don’t know how long that I did all the hygiene an average person would do in one day. I’ve started bullet journaling again and texted my goals to my best friend so I have accountability. My project right now is to make looking and feeling good my job for one month. My personal hygiene has become so neglected as I have sunk deeper and deeper into my depression. The other day, I just woke up with the motivation to turn that part of my life around.I know it’s only been one day, but it’s been so long since I actually achieved something in this area and I’ve been so sad that I thought I should celebrate this step.I’m so tired, but I wanted to get one more thing checked off my list tonight before I go to sleep.Sometimes I wonder if it’s time to learn another language. I feel like most people my age have at least two languages under their belt where I have just the one. I want to be considered bright and I feel like this is the next step.Here is the point again where I consider sleep less important than the things I could be doing instead of sleeping. Where is this little voice coming from? What is so dark inside us that wants us to fail? How can you ride a ship you’re preparing to sink? Is it fear that wants to personify it? Make it a separate entity so I can’t be to blame for my own bad habits? Who knows.I’m beginning to enjoy television, which is sort of new for me. I wonder if it means my attention span has finally reached null. Sure, there have been very well done productions I’ve been a fanatic for in the past, but I’ve never been able to turn on a random show and just enjoy. I’ve almost finished watching all the Storage Wars available on Netflix. I never thought I’d be the kind of person that turns to reality television, but here we are. Maybe this is how quarantine truly breaks me. If I don’t have focus, I don’t have anything. I’m beginning to nod off. I really want to reach a thousand words before I go to sleep. That means no editing whatsoever, just stream of consciousness. It’s been feeling more like a dry creek bed lately. I could stare at the ceiling for hours. I could sleep all day and not be bored. I know that’s concerning. I’ve already made an appointment with my doctor about switching my medications. I just want to feel like I did when I was in second grade, seventh grade, ninth grade. There is so much left for me to do here that it feels overwhelming.Nearly there. That gibberish sure helped. Take this as an example, kind reader, of what I usually cut out for your benefit and mine. It’s okay, I know no one is reading this. I just need to allow the chance for someone to hear what the people in my life can’t hear for themselves. I’m so scared of being a burden that I don’t know how to open up to people I meet in real life. It’s either I don’t want them to know my middle name to “What’s your mother like and how did that affect your psychological development?” That’s it, thanks.

5/6/20

Alas, another day has passed and! I’m still depressed. How did that happen? Did I make zero changes and expect something to happen? Maybe. But I did wish for it really really hard. (I know, in THIS economy??)

Silliness and vague misdirection aside, today sucked. I spent the morning in a weird, unawake haze because I hadn’t slept. The afternoon dragged on as I crammed for my Modern Grammar which (and now here’s the real kicker) kicked me good in the pants. Lastly, I told my roommates that I plan on moving out and they did not take it well. All this contributed to a day ill spent.

I don’t know where my weird relationship with sleep came from. Logically, I know that I need sleep. I know that sleep will do me well and allow my body to get ready for another day. One day, a little voice crept into my mind and told me that sleep was optional. I haven’t been able to shut it off since. Need extra time to study? Want to get to the next level? Only another hour before your friend in another timezone wakes up? Might as well pull an all-nighter. Objects in motion, after all.

I’m also out of my sleeping medication. And I haven’t been taking my medication. I’m struggling and I’m lacking the discipline to push myself the extra mile to potentially getting better. I think what I need are some small victories. Already, I am writing. I am journaling. I am crossing small things off my list in a desperate attempt for dopamine. Desperate, yes, but shameful? Absolutely not. It feels like I’m running a marathon underwater, but I still intend to finish. It’s just going to take me a little longer.

At one point and time, I was filming taking my medication every day and posting a little mental check on Youtube. That was good, until I missed one day, and then three days, and now it’s been almost a month. I just feel so guilty over any reveal of failure or shortcoming. How am I supposed to come back from showing that I’m not perfect?

I don’t know if this needs to be said, but if I were talking to my friend in the same situation, I would reassure them 1000% that I would love them no matter what, especially through their imperfections. It’s not that I set the bar lower for my friends than I do for myself, but I am a lot harder on me when I don’t meet my expectations. I guess that comes with being a wild romantic, right? Reality is that blinding white light that pierces through daydream. The clear solution is to have more realistic daydreams, but those aren’t nearly as fun.

Small victories, eh? What goals can I set for myself?

It’s late. I should go to bed. Today was rough and on top of everything I’m dehydrated. I hate complainers and hypocrites. I shall bless your feed with another rambling posthaste, rest allowing.

5/5/20

I’m going to pretend I didn’t see the clock strike midnight and write this from the perspective of today, May the 5th. A good, round-numbered day to start something new. I’ve always been fond of round numbers. I’ve always been fond of clean slates.

My central problem in life right now is that I’m depressed. I don’t like myself. I don’t like what I do with my time. Everything seems pointless. I lack purpose, direction, inspiration. I love the world and find myself submerged in curiosity often enough, but I don’t apply myself towards meaningful goals. My lack of application is the root of my unhappiness. If I wasn’t me, I wouldn’t want to be friends with me. And that invokes a whole other can of worms; namely insecurity, impostor syndrome, and low standards. But I digress.

I. Want. To. Be. Happy. I want to feel like I am making progress. I don’t want to feel vaguely ill anymore. I don’t think I should have to live with boredom as my default emotion. I don’t want to have to repress anything anymore.

How can I be happy? Well, isn’t that the age-old question. If there was a simple, clear-cut answer, I would bottle it and become a billionaire. Instead of a product, though, I have the following goals.

In order to be happy, I need to take care of my body. I need to be kinder to the vessel through which I experience all happiness, through which I enact all acts of generosity. What will this look like? For one, I would like to have a “glow-up”. I would like to have a before and after photo-set that I can look at and be proud of. This will mean skincare, daily showering, healthy eating, and regular exercise. I can’t expect myself to be happy in an unkempt body.

I am going to execute this goal by applying a hygiene routine, researching daily workouts, and keeping track of what goes into my body. I will also take the time to do silly, frivolous things like put on eyeliner and curl my hair simply because it makes me happy. I will have a more coordinated plan by tomorrow. For now, I research.

In order to be happy, I need to take care of my brain. Practice makes perfect and no practice makes mush. I don’t want a pile of mush directing the rest of my life. I want a clean, sharp machine dictating my every move. I want the gears to shift as smoothly as a well-oiled watch. I want to feel as efficient as I did in high school, when I was taking college courses and researching off-curriculum subjects just to ease my questioning mind.

I am going to execute this goal by finishing my semester strong, spending dedicated time each day towards active learning, and planning monthly projects. I will also find ways to implement healthy curiosity in my daily conversations. I was a “why” child. Why is the sky blue? Why is the grass green? Why do we have ten fingers and ten toes but only two ears? Why? Why? Why? I want to transition back to that motivated, inquisitive mindset. As with taking care of my body, I will have a more decisive plan for this goal tomorrow.

In order to be happy, I need to take care of my soul. One of the biggest reasons I’ve been increasingly unhappy these past months (or even years, you could argue) is because I am simply not creating more than I am consuming. A great joy that is allowed us is pure creation. I am tired of sitting passively while muses give up on me, moving onto to the next open mind. I want to build up my patience for writer’s block, to give in to the urge to write badly rather than not write at all.

I am going to execute this goal by setting word counts for myself daily depending on my schedule, setting due dates for my projects, and holding myself accountable with creative partners. I know I have stories to tell, characters to illustrate, worlds to discover. I have always felt that within myself. “I contain multitudes.” There is opportunity here, if I am only willing to open the door. I’m a firm believer that nothing worth having comes without effort, but I’ve been sitting idly anyways. What hypocrisy.

Those are my main goals. This slate is no longer clean. I have marked it with intent.

I’ve always like clean slates because it feels better to start something new rather than digging yourself out of a hole of failure. Let me acknowledge, I am buried deep under years and years of bad habits and ill-fated mindsets. I have allowed myself to sink to this depth. It is no one’s fault but my own. I am not trying to say anything different that, nor will I ever attempt to blame someone other than myself for my circumstances. This has been my doing and my doing alone. So, when I say clean slate, you know that I know that there is no such thing as a clear state. I am merely marking a line in the sand to cross over and become a different person. Hopefully.

This has gone on for too long. I sent a goal of 1000 words per day. Initially, I was wondering if that would be enough, or if it would be too little. Would I be boring whoever came across my articles of dis-wisdom? Would I be leaving them without adequate information to ever bother reading something of mine again? We don’t really know the fate of our goals when we set them. We pin our hopes to them like ribbons, we shower them with expectations, but we can’t ever really know how things will turn out. I can’t say for certain that i will ever complete these goals, but I cannot let that discourage me. After all, this has been 1000 words.

[transparenttriumphzombie]

Roberta Betty Cowell (1918 - 2011) motor racer, pilot.

Robert Marshall Cowell was born in Croydon, the middle child of three. His father was Ernest Cowell, the prominent surgeon in the Royal Army Medical Corps and at Croydon General Infirmary (now closed), and who would be Director of Medical Services for the Allied Forces in North Africa and Italy during the Second World War.

Robert had an aptitude for mechanical things. From the age of twelve he spent his holidays in engineering workshops in Croydon. His public school had a motor club where under-aged members drove motorcycles and cars on the school grounds.

John Cunningham, the future RAF night fighter ace was a member of the same club. Robert also joined the Officers’ Training Corps while at school, and became a non-commissioned officer. In the early 1930s, Robert and a friend spent a summer holiday in Belgium, Austria and Germany, and picked up some German.

He left school at sixteen and entered a series of tennis tournaments, which led to his first homosexual proposal, which he quickly ran from.

He worked in both aircraft and racing car service shops. At seventeen he drove in the London-Land’s-End trial run. Later in 1935 he joined the RAF as a pupil pilot. He gained a commission but found that flying made him feel extremely ill. He was invalided out of the RAF, and declared as permanently unfit for flying duties.

He studied engineering at University College, London, where he met his future wife, Diana, who was also a racing driver. He drove in motor races and speed trials, including the 1939 Grand Prix in Antwerp. Later that year, he almost ran down Neville Chamberlain who was crossing Parliament Square.

With the outbreak of war, Cowell thought that the best job to have was that of a fighter pilot. He pestered the Air Ministry, but they wouldn’t take him back. He was offered a position in the Royal Army Service Corps with a promise of a fast-track commissioning. In January 1941 he was commissioned as a captain.

In May he married his girlfriend, who by then had a degree in engineering. They spent the war apart but did manage to have two daughters, born in 1942 and 1944.

After a few months in Iceland (which had decriminalized homosexuality while under British occupation) Robert managed to get transferred to the RAF. By this time he knew how to fake a military medical exam.

He was trained to fly various fighter planes and bombers. He mainly saw action supporting the Invasion of France in the summer of 1944, until his plane was hit by flak, and he became a prisoner of the Germans.

He spent the rest of the war in Stalag Luft 1, between Lübeck and Rostock. He vehemently refused to play a female role in the camp theatricals, as he felt that ‘would have been a public declaration of homosexuality’. The gay cliques in the camp constantly annoyed him by assuming that he was one of them. On 30 April 1945 the prisoners refused German orders to evacuate in the face of the advancing Soviet Army.  After negotiations, the Germans left leaving the POWs behind.  Two weeks later Captain Cowell and the other British prisoners were flown home.

Back in England, with a business partner, Cowell set up a specialist auto engineering company. They built cars for motor racing, and he competed as a driver. He also renovated houses and sold them at a profit.

His marriage fell apart as Diana was not happy about his wearing her clothes, and suspected him of seeing other women. They separated in 1948.  Cowell never saw his daughters again.  His wife re-married and had three more children.  The two girls were brought up by their grandparents, Sir Ernest and his wife.

Robert continued to be depressed, and saw a couple of Freudian analysts. The outcome was:

“The feminine side of my nature, which all my life I had known of and severely repressed, was very much more fundamental and deep-rooted than I had supposed (p96)”.

He secured a consultation with a Harley Street sexologist who referred him to a woman endocrinologist, who put him on oestrogens. Feeling that he should counterbalance the heavily masculine nature of his business interests, he invested in a small company which designed and manufactured women’s clothes, both theatrical and haute couture, and proceeded to learn that business. He also struck up a friendship with a woman, Lisa, whom he met in a London hotel, who later lived with him and helped him transition.

Cowell came across the 1946 book Self: a study in ethics and endocrinology, by Michael Dillon, which contains a section discussing sex changes as possible

.Cowell wrote to him via the publisher, and after several lengthy letters, they met in London. Dillon admitted that he had been a woman until a few years previously. More meetings followed. Michael convinced himself that fate had put them together, and they should be a couple. Cowell needed an orchiectomy if she were to proceed to being a woman, but no doctor in the UK would do the operation because of the mayhem laws. Michael, who was nearing the completion of his medical degree at Trinity College, Dublin, used his new skills to do so. He also introduced Roberta to Arthur Millbourn, Canon at Bristol Cathedral, and to his surgeon Harold Gillies.   However he finally had to concede that Roberta was not returning his passion.

Roberta had a consultation with Dr George Dusseau on Wimpole Street. Given her orchiectomy, he agreed to write a letter that was “in the nature of a working certificate to enable the plastic surgeons to carry out their operations”. That done, Roberta was able to change her name by deed poll to Roberta Elizabeth Cowell and to get her birth certificate amended. From then on she would be Betty to her friends.

Sir Harold Gillies was now willing to proceed with surgery. He had never done a vaginoplasty before. He practiced the previous evening on the torso of a male cadaver. The operation was successful and medical affidavits were sworn. Cowell then persuaded Gillies to feminize her face.

The Cowells’ divorce decree was made absolute later in 1952. Betty was now deeply in debt after medical bills, the closure of her engineering firm and the failure of her dress-making firm.

In 1953 the news story broke about another pioneering transsexual, Christine Jorgensen. By early 1954, Betty knew that she herself was about to be a front-page story. She negotiated with the Picture Post that she would write an exclusive for them. It was said by the Sunday Pictorial that they paid £20,000 (according to this calculator, equivalent to £440,000 today), an enormous sum that allowed her to clear all her debts.

A ‘disclosure’ in the form of a Press Association statement was issued on 6 March 1954. With the notable exception of The Times, most British papers carried it on the front page with different headlines, but with almost the same text:

“This amazing change of sex is believed to be the first case in Britain where an adult male has so fully taken on the physical and mental characteristics of a woman. It may well be the most complete change of sex in the medical history of the entire world”.

The

Daily Herald’s doctor commented that

“cases of women becoming men are increasing but the change from male to female is rare”.

Cowell wisely left for the continent, pursued as she was by a pack of journalists. The Sunday Pictorial, which would become the Sunday Mirror in 1963 and which had published an homophobic three-part series, “Evil Men” in 1952, and had serialized the Jorgensen story in 1953, gave scant attention to Cowell on the first weekend, but a week later was saying that she was a transvestist and expressed concern for the

“startling legal and medical tangle which arises” and said that: doctors who deal with these change of sex cases.......”.are anxious for their position in the eyes of the law and the community to be clarified. This is a matter for the law makers.”

The Sunday People, the same week, ran the headline 'ROBERTA IS NO REAL WOMAN'. However it accepted Cowell’s claim that the operation was largely to speed up changes taking place naturally. The next day Roberta’s father, Ernest Cowell was quoted saying:

“I am told that it is quite on the cards for her to bear children”.

However by the next weekend, he had retracted:

“this is not a case of hermaphroditism” and he agreed that Roberta was a transvestist.

Betty in 1958 The Picture Post series ran for seven weeks from 13th March. It was then revised and published as Roberta Cowell's Story

with a Preface by Canon Milbourn. The publisher was Heinemann, which had published Dillon’s Self, eight years earlier. The publication had two benefits other than money. By ‘disclosing’ herself, she was able to return to motor racing once the fuss died down. It also allowed her to claim that she was not a transvestist like Christine Jorgensen. Despite the two daughters that she had fathered, and the fact that Robert had passed an RAF medical, she claimed to have XX chromosomes and ovaries, and that the stress of being in Stalag Luft 1 had brought out her underlying female biology, and that Dr Dusseau’s letter had certified her as a woman.

Betty in the 1970s After the media fuss died down, Betty did  continue both motor racing and flying. She won a hill climb in 1957. In 1972 she was interviewed by Michael Bateman for the Sunday Times. He noted that her house was

“cluttered with pilots’ helmets, high-frequency radios, models of planes and racing cars. She’s logged 1,600 hours as a pilot (recently she flew at Mach 2 twice the speed of sound )... She doesn’t approve of the Permissive Society and she doesn’t welcome Women’s Lib. She certainly hopes the trend towards Unisex has stopped. It’s unhealthy, unnatural. ‘My experience shows that men and women are so completely different as to be almost different species.’”

She also disapproved of other transsexuals:

“I was a freak. I had an operation and I’m not a freak any more. I had female chromosome make-up, XX. The people who have followed me have often been those with male chromosomes, XY. So they’ve been normal people who’ve turned themselves into freaks by means of the operation.”

In the 1970s Betty worked with Liz Hodgkinson on a second book which however was never completed.

Betty and Lisa continued to live together on and off until the latter died at the end of the 1980s.  Betty then moved into a flat in Hampton.  She was reclusive and private, but always had an expensive car.  However she used it less as she aged.   Her spine became bent and  swollen legs made walking impossible.

Diana died in 2006.  Betty's last years were spent alone in sheltered accomodation.  She died aged 93.  Only a few friends attended the cremation, and no news of her death was published in any newspaper until an article in

The Independent on Sunday in October 2013.  Her daughters were not informed until contacted by the newspaper prior to publication

Roberta Cowell. Roberta Cowell's Story. British Book Centre, 1954. With a preface by Canon Millbourn. Online and also.

“Former British Fighter Pilot Changes Sex”. Reprinted in Lewiston Evening Journal, Mar 6, 1954. Online

“Wife’s Story of Man Who Changed Sex”. AAP, March 7, 1954, reprinted in The Sydney Morning Herald. Online

“Ex-War Flier Now ‘Completely Female’. Doctor-Father Confirms ‘Son Robert is now Daughter Roberta’ “ The Vancouver Sun, March 15, 1954. Online

“The Real Story of Sex Change: Here’s Medical Proof of Father of Two Who Turned Into a Woman”. PIC: The Magazine for Young Men, 26,1, March 1955. Online

“Roberta Wins Hill Climb”. British Pathé, 1957.  Online  

Harold D. Gillies & D. Ralph Millard. The Principles and Art of Plastic Surgery.  Butterworth, 1957: II,384-7.

Auriol Stevens. “The sexual misfits”. The Guardian, 7 Jan 1970, reprinted 7 Jan 2012. Online.

Michael Bateman interviews Roberta Cowell. Atticus, The Sunday Times, 12 March 1972. Online.

Liz Hodgkinson. Bodyshock: The Truth About Changing Sex. Columbus Books 1987: 21-2.

Liz Hodgkinson. Michael née Laura. Columbus Books. 1989: chp 6.

Dave King. The Transvestite and the Transsexual: Public Categories and Private Identities.  Avebury, 1993: 51-55, 86, 103, 110-115, 118, 119, 125, 128, 130, 132, 141, 162, 169.

Richard Ekins & Dave King (eds). Blending genders: social aspects of cross-dressing and sex-changing.  Routledge. 2002: 87-91. 135-7, 141, 146.

Pagan Kennedy. The First Man-Made Man: The Story of Two Sex Changes, One Love Affair, and a Twentieth-Century Medical Revolution. Bloomsbury. 2007: 3-4, 10-14, 55-7, 76-8, 85-99, 103-5, 109-113, 119-120, 136.

Jean-François Bouzanquet. Fast Ladies: Female Racing Drivers, 1888-1970. Veloce, 2009: 99-103.

Matthew Bell.  "'It's easier to change a body than to change a mind': The extraordinary life and lonely death of Roberta Cowell ".  The Independent on Sunday, 27 October 2013. Online  

[theitmom]

How I Lost 28lbs in 5 Months – My Review of Optavia and Valentus SlimROAST Optimum Coffee

This is an update to my review of using Optavia and Valentus SlimROAST Optimum Coffee. I’m sharing my honest opinions of what I’ve experienced and learned over the last almost 5 months about my weight loss journey and hopefully this will help you too. This is completely unbiased, I’m laying it all out.

For the last 6 years I have struggled with weight management. I firmly believe this has been due to breast implant illness, but that's a whole different story. Today, I wanted to share what's worked and what hasn't worked for me in losing and keeping the weight off. I'm not sharing any links in this post, because I'm not affiliated with or getting paid to share this info, however, feel free to email or DM me with any questions or advice you have.

I’ve tried keto, portion control, Intermittent Fasting with keto and they were only short term losses FOR ME. That’s not to say these don’t work, they absolutely work if you have the experience and knowledge to follow this program CORRECTLY AND have the time to prepare meals and cook. As a busy mom of four, I do NOT have time for any of these let alone working out.

I was desperate to lose weight…42lbs to be exact. It wasn’t for vanity, although, it did help me gain confidence knowing that my clothes fit better. Nah, it was for health reasons. I have several autoimmune diseases that I needed to tame from “flaring up” and my doctor said it was necessary for me to lose a lot of weight. My start weight was 162lbs at 5'3″.

I was able to lose 20lbs in my first 4 months of starting the Optavia program. The first 4 days were difficult because you needed to follow their plan, and when you've lived years with all sorts of experimenting plans or not having a plan at all – the change is shocking. It also helped me detox which caused a horrible headache, but was good after taking Ibuprofen. The plan was to drink 16oz of water upon rising, then eating your first Optavia fueling within one hour (preferably 30 minutes). Then, you had to eat 4 more fuelings every 2.5 to 3 hours and at dinner time it was what they called a Lean and Green meal (pretty much a chicken salad or some of the approved Trader Joe's frozen foods). You also MUST drink between 60 – 100 ounces of water each day (for fat burn purposes).

Here was my schedule: 6:30am – Wake up and drink 16.9 ounces of water that I laid out on the night stand to drink as soon as I got up 7:00am – Eat 1 Optavia Fueling with 16.9 ounces of water 10:00am – Eat 1 Optavia Fueling with 16.9 ounces of water 1:00pm – Eat 1 Optavia Fueling with 16.9 ounces of water 4:00pm – Eat 1 Optavia Fueling with 16.9 ounces of water 6:30pm – Eat Lean and Green Meal that I make myself (it ends up being a grilled chicken salad or ground beef salad or protein w/ salad) with 8 ounces of sparkling water (instead of drinking soda) 7:30pm – Eat 1 Optavia Fueling as my dessert with 16.9 ounces of water

Total Water Intake: 109.4 ounces

I did this everyday for 4 months straight and lost 20 lbs total (averaging about 5 lbs per month). It also got rid of my inflammation on my face and body and gave me a TON of energy! I felt like I was on top of the world!

Does it work? YES! And it sets your brain and body up for a consistent routine of healthy habits that it had forgotten about all those years. And each Fueling is filled with vitamins and nutrients that your body needs to transform, which is how it helps you to keep the weight off. I also loved that there was a Facebook group of others in the program and can relate and share tips, ideas, and recipes. And Optavia even has tons of Pinterest pins of Lean and Green recipes that can help add some fun to your daily dinner routine. The other plus is having a Coach that walks you thru the process, hops on a call with you each week to help you stay accountable, and helps you answer any questions you have. They also provided books on gaining healthy habits and weekly Conference Calls. Oh! And there's a Customer Service email and phone number you can call with any questions pertaining to what certain foods are approved to eat during the program.

But here are the cons of being on the Optavia program…

1. It's very expensive — $375 to $450 PER MONTH. You need to purchase 20-22 boxes of Fuelings with Optavia to be able to accomplish 5 fuelings per day. I was desperate for change and had the extra money to spend to lose the weight, so I paid it and it has been worth every penny. But unfortunately, not everyone can or is willing to spend this much.

I will say, when you compare this program to Jenny Craig and Nutrisystem, it's way less expensive and worked the best out of all of them in losing the most amount of weight. But for someone who cooks at home and doesn't buy meal prep meals each week — it might be hard to swallow. I guess you have to ask yourself how badly you want to change and lose the weight knowing the program is super easy to do as long as you follow it.

2. Some of the fuelings taste bland and not very good, and some have an acquired taste that you eventually get used to. Everybody has different tastes too. For example, some of the Fuelings I thought tasted yummy, my sister-in-law couldn't stomach. I guess to each their own, right?! Haha!

3. You must follow the program to a ‘T' to get your body into the “fat burn” stage. The moment you eat off plan or outside of the approved Lean and Green foods, your body gets off fat burn and you don't lose as much weight or plateau. Also, it will take at least 3 days for your body to get back into “fat burn” stage after not following the plan. This truly takes commitment and resistance to bad foods. It's not easy, but it's also not hard.

Over the last month, I decided to become a rebel. This is now month 5 (the whole month of September). I decided to try Valentus SlimROAST Optimum Coffee because everybody swore by it working with weight loss. So every morning I drank Valentus (Bulletproof Coffee style with Collagen Peptide Powder and Ghee Butter from Trader Joe's). I also did Intermittent Fasting and ate my Optavia Fuelings during a set time window.

Here's what THAT schedule looked like…

6:30am – Wake up and drink 16.9 ounces of water that I laid out on the night stand to drink as soon as I got up 7:00am – Drink 8 ounces of Valentus SlimROAST Optimum Coffee with 1 Tbsp Collagen Peptide Powder and 1 Tbsp Ghee Butter 7:00am – 12:00pm: INTERMITTENT FASTING 12:00ppm – Eat 1 Optavia Fueling with 16.9 ounces of water 3:00pm – Eat 1 Optavia Fueling with 16.9 ounces of water 6:00pm – Eat Lean and Green Meal that I make myself (it ends up being a grilled chicken salad or ground beef salad or protein w/ salad) with 8 ounces of sparkling water (instead of drinking soda) 8:00pm – Eat 1 Optavia Fueling as my dessert with 16.9 ounces of water

Total Water Intake: 75.6 ounces

In the 30 days I followed this revised plan, I was able to eat less fuelings (which saved me SOME money, not a lot, but some) and I lost MORE weight than I did with Optavia (8lbs!!!). I should also reiterate that the Optavia plan truly helped me to kick bad eating habits and followed a consistent amount of calories to portion control once I sort of switched up the program.

I don't think you should try this on your own right off the bat, especially if you have the tendency to yo-yo diet and have a history of poor eating habits. I say this because Valentus is meant to help curb your appetite, give you energy and give you focus. It eliminates cravings! But once you stop drinking the coffee and if you don't have a solid foundation in place to keep the weight off, you will gain all the weight back.

At the same time, if you're on a budget (one tub of Valentus Coffee lasts one month and is $60 or $67 with shipping) and desperately want to lose weight and want to meal plan on your own – Valentus SlimROAST Optimum Coffee definitely works when incorporated with a low calorie/portion controlled diet and exercise.

I probably could have lost more weight if I also incorporated exercise. Unfortunately, I have been dealing with chronic pain and debilitating fatigue due to breast implant illness and haven't been able to workout, but after surgery, I will definitely work on getting back into shape!

The photo featured in this post was me back in early September 2019 at a size 4 in bottoms! My original size upon starting the Optavia program was a size 12-14. 7 weeks have now passed since I switched and I've actually lost more weight since this photo at a whopping 28lbs!!! *HIGH FIVE!*

I have also transitioned completely off of Optavia for almost 4 weeks now, which saves me over $300. I plan to continue using Valentus Coffee until I reach my weight loss goals, which is only 14lbs left! YAY!

Also, I love Valentus Coffee so much that I am seriously considering selling it through my store. You all know my stance on direct marketing and MLM companies, right? I don't want to do most of them even if they have great products because I do not like many of their marketing tactics and they always end up rubbing me the wrong way with their salesy adding into their Facebook groups without permission or inbox messaging as soon as they friend request me (even though they don't know me) asking to buy or join their program. But Valentus is different, they're only 5 years old and they have not pushed, pressured or rubbed me the wrong way at all. Huge brownie points for that, Valentus! I believe in it so much and have seen my own amazing results just in the last month that I want to be able to offer it up for others to buy too, since you can only buy through a Distributor. But I'll worry about that after my explant surgery!

Hope you enjoyed my review – please comment below on what has worked for you with your weight loss management.

The post How I Lost 28lbs in 5 Months – My Review of Optavia and Valentus SlimROAST Optimum Coffee appeared first on The It Mom®.

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[beyondthetemples-ooc]

I was going to ramble about which of my stories is my Own Personal Favorite.

But then, after deleting 4 or 5 different paragraphs of mind-changing pre-write, I realized... I really can’t choose just one? Or even three???

** NOTE that all of these can be found on my fanfic profile!  - Raven’s secret-keeper over there! - Two on AO3: Ravens secret-keeper (pseudonymn: StellarSecretKeeper)

~ Dove’s Dark Discovery is the best-written Actually Published story! It has a sub-plot (re: her struggles with her powers as they grow, AND her relationship with Raven being strained throughout the story), it included the other Titans in Important Scenes (Dove and Raven are by far my favorite characters to write about, but the whole reason I write these stories as TEEN TITANS fanfics is the background of the team!), it EXCELS at “rising action” and “building escalation” (it gets concerning, then anxious, then frantic, then downright devastating), and the DESCRIPTIONS. Holy heavens and hells, the mindscape descriptions!! I absolutely LOVE some of those lines! And the goddamn cLIMAX. That scene alone has literally gone through 6 versions (though the kernel of an idea, “Raven vs. Evil!Dove in the Mindscape”, has always remained the same), and while it’s still not as smooth as I’d like it, some of the rhythmic cadence in that scene is pure stylistic GOLD.

~ The Final Journey is so incredible to write! It has long held an especially special place in my heart, because it’s one of the first stories I ever started writing. I can remember where I wrote almost every single scene in the binder. 

~ Even in Death got some High Quality Additions! Though it’s still not As Great as far as verbiage and pacing and the silky-smooth emotional transitions I’ve been teaching myself to use, the headcanon power it runs on (re: Azarath and Raven’s Abilities and Dove’s PTSD) is GREAT. It discusses something that’s really close to my heart, and also really close to both Raven and Dove’s (mental illness, PTSD, loss and grief and healing). It has a lot of Personal Significance too; let’s just say the revision was inspired by an Actual Astral Adventure and I realized how deeply a revelation like that would affect Dove... And that revelation finally gave that oneshot a reason to exist besides just, “I learned there was this one time...” Dove needed that closure. Desperately. And it’s a big step in her healing from that traumatic day.

~ Heart to Heart was so incredibly sweet, adorable, dramatic, AND satisfying! As far as a self-contained oneshot, it’s definitely the best I’ve ever written. (I daresay it’s among the best scenes ever, and certainly among my favorite flashback-containing scenes!) Dove and Srentha deserve a lot more Emotional Heartfelt Moments that really dive into how much they mean to each other, but I’m an emotionally-stunted aro whose sense of romance is basically “tell her i love her once in awhile”. and I don’t really know how to write those Emotionally Intense Moments with a romantic bend yet. ;; The fact that I wrote that entire scene in like, two weeks, was a complete fluke. 

~ Speaking of oneshot flukes, I’m also really proud of Umbrella? I wrote that sucker in a singular fucking HOUR. I didn’t realize “drabble” had a character limit, but  I’m glad I didn’t know, because it grew into an excellent exploration of Dove’s mindset during her first months on Earth, how she experienced the city, how she experienced strangers, and in the end, human kindness.

Also, my favorite fanfic writer for the animated series (and others!) was inspired to headcanon the random man Dove encounters in the city as his very own protagonist OC. Which I delightfully endorsed. And he wrote it into one of his very own stories. So that absolutely blew my entire mind. It’s still blown to this day! (That writer was also kind enough to review the DDD climax when I desperately needed feedback. It should be “three times as long and nine times the punch”, he said. I took it to heart, took it to the words, and I like to think I KILLED it at long last~)

~ Mystery Sickness is probably my favorite in terms of Total Rewrite Growth^tm? But it’s not Finished Yet, so I can’t show you all the Changes! Its original version (visible on fanfic.net) is heavy on the deus ex machina, and Things Happening without anyone really knowing why. Hell, I didn’t know why when I wrote the damn thing! I kind of treated it like “this is just what I see happening so I gotta write it down”. Raven falls ill, figures it has something to do with Dove, never really explain why Dove is Making Her Unwell, then she kind of just gets better? But now: Oh stars, we have a HUGE Reason! (And it’s Dove’s mother’s spells! It took a good long while for me to really Understand what was going on in Dove’s childhood, what with Alerina constantly and desperately doing everything in her power to hide Dove’s existence, including a slew of spells that kept Dove safe from the rest of Azarath AND Trigon.) And now, when I re-publish it, everything’s going to make sense.

Not to mention, I am having FUN with Mumbo in the rewrite.

~ Something Special About Srentha is probably the first story I wrote with Actual Plot, clear in the story from start to finish. It’s definitely one of my most Cohesive Plots, with the most Consistently Relevant scenes. Granted, in the Mindquest trilogy (Missing: Raven, DDD, and TFJ), every plot point plays into how it progresses, but in Something Special it’s really quite obvious and complete. Intruders are in the mystical forest, they investigate, Dove gets kidnapped, they try to save her, fail a couple times, Dove suffers and learns about her kidnappers, Srentha finds out if they don’t save her they’re going to force her into a ritual to become one of them, and then they try Extra Hard to save her. And then the sequel (Something Strange) is all about the Direct Results of the intruders’ magic having an effect on Dove and Srentha. So, you should all know by now how mystical my ass is, and Srentha’s too come to think of it, so writing these stories touches on a lot of Personal Passions for me AND them. Even the personal struggles, for everyone involved, come as a direct result of everything happening in the plot. And it just naturally turned out that way. I don’t think any story had been so entirely Relevant to one plot before, nor have I managed to captures such contiguous storytelling since.

[briefbouquetcreatorlove-blog]

Plainfield Illinois Cheap car insurance quotes zip 60586

"Plainfield Illinois Cheap car insurance quotes zip 60586

Plainfield Illinois Cheap car insurance quotes zip 60586

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://averageinsurancecosts.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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Plainfield Illinois Cheap car insurance quotes zip 60586

Plainfield Illinois Cheap car insurance quotes zip 60586

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Buy life Insurance gauranteed acceptance?

Buy life Insurance gauranteed acceptance?

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Insurance.....?

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2005 Pontiac G6 GT Insurance?

I have a 05 G6 GT. I am an 18 year old male living in kansas and I want to know how much monthly insurance should be? It is a 4 door car.

Plainfield Illinois Cheap car insurance quotes zip 60586

Plainfield Illinois Cheap car insurance quotes zip 60586

""Mortgage, HOMEOWNER INSURANCE, lost jobs advice.?""

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I applied for Car Insurance and...?

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2500???? Car Insurance!!!! HELP!?

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I've had my license for a little over three months now. However, I have no insurance, and therefore cannot drive (in California). Their reasoning is that I am an unsafe driver which I disagree with because I quite easily passed my driving test at the DMV and always think before I do anything when I drive. However, they seem firm on their decision... It's a bit frustrating having my license for so long but still being unable to drive. I'm tired of having to always ask friends for a ride or my parents; I just want a taste of independence. Of course, I'm not trying to be too arrogant or stubborn, I've respected my parent's decision, it's just bugging me a bit now haha. I offered to do a six-month plan instead of a year plan since I'm heading off to college in Septemberish. I'm about to turn 18 in a couple weeks also. Does anyone have any advice?""

Do you have to buy insurance for your car?

Im planning to buy a 1968 Chrystler Newport. This will be my first car. I live in BC. What should I expect to have to pay monthly for insurance? or do I need to buy insurance at all for my car?

""I'm living in Japan, looking for private health insurance. Can anyone recommend a good *affordable company?""

I'm an expat, planning on spending most of my life here in Japan. The national health insurance is good but a bit expensive. So if anyone knows a good expat health insurance company that is somewhat comprehensive, please send the information my way. I only have to cover myself and I have my own business.""

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I have heard this is true...red cars make your insurance higher...I don't think it is true but my husband does. What do you all think? I have looked up quotes and none of them ask for the color of the vehicle just make/model/year...

What to do with a conditional discharge and a car insurance?

My friend had a court on 25/08/2012, where he has been conditionally discharged for 12 months. His car insurance was due to be renewed on 28/08/2012. He was buying the car insurance ...show more""

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I got a ticket for speeding (67 in a 50) a little over 8 months ago. I took it to court because it was a first offense and got the points down from 2 to 1. I never got anything from my insurance company, so I thought I got lucky and my rates would stay the same. About three weeks ago, we had a bad wind storm in Maryland and a tree limb fell on my jeep. I reported it the same day and the insurance is fixing. Yesterday I got a letter in the mail from my insurance saying my rates were going up from the ticket in March. Do you think that my report of the tree limb triggered them to look at my driving record and raise the rate or is it just a coincidence that this happened at the same time?""

Insurance notification?

if you go to the doctor with insurance and pay the co-pay there, will the people paying for the insurance still be notified. I need to go the doctor to get birth control, which i can legally get without my parents {I'm 15}. I was wondering if I use my insurance card that's linked to my parents insurance, will they still find out that I went if I pay for the $10 co-pay? I have a boyfriend for about a year but we aren't having sex. I want it to clear my acne and to have lighter periods, although if I ask my parents they will think that we are having sex.""

Why is car insurance so expensive in the UK!?

So i'm not driving yet, only applied for a provisional, i'm age 21, But I thought why not try and figure out how much my insurance will be once i've passed and buy a car at roughly 1000, so I filled in all the details as accurate as possible on the compare websites and the cheapest yearly insurance price was 2500! How the hell am I suppose to afford this, am I doing something wrong haha :L""

What do you put on a car insurance quote when your penalty has expired?

i had a penalty for 3 years that ran out in 2008 but when i look for insurance they ask for any penalty for the past 5 years. Do i say yes even though it expired in 2008?

Is it true that most Americans that have health insurance are getting it from the federal government or their?

state? If this is true why not have affordable health care for all. We can't all work for the federal government or for the state we live in. Most companies can't afford ...show more

Can I have car insurance under my parent's name?

Meaning, I am 17 on a probationary license. My parents and I currently have Allstate Insurance and I'm a part time driver on mom's vehicle. They recently bought me a car from my instructor's daughter. I would like to be an all-by-myself driver under Liberty Mutual, being they've shown me the absolute best rate, hands down. So question is- can I have car insurance under my parent's name with Liberty Mutual, as they keep Allstate? (My policy, just under their name)""

Pregnancy Health Insurance??!?

I just moved to California a week ago and I am currently 18 weeks pregnant with no health insurance. Ive made a few calls and tried to look at all of my options but I want to take the best route, especially since I need to have my next appointment very soon to find out the sex of the baby and how everything is going......advice?!!""

Buying a used car and purchasing a car insurance in Tucson?

Hi. Im going to study in tucson for the next 2 years as an international student. I want to buy a car, and I am looking for a place that would be known to sell used cars at a fair price (I am not looking for something more than 7-8000). It would also be nice it those car would come with a warranty. Do you know good places for that? Also if you can advice me with car insurance that would be nice. Thank you a lot!""

Progressive auto insurance problem !?

I need an opinion on what should i do in this case. 3 weeks ago , as I was driving home , on the freeway , from the truck in front of me fell big peace of ice and hit my car from underneath. Less than 1 minute later i noticed blue smoke behind , luckily there was and exit with gas station right there. By the time i pulled up to the gas station car was barely moving. After staying parked for 20 min , it leaked oil and tranny fluid . I called towing , had them pick the car up , called progressive made the claim. All of that happened in WI near Milwaukee , before i used to leave in Chicago , so I never dealt with progressive from WI. After couple days adjuster came out and gave shop 1100$ to start the repairs , shop diagnosed everything and came to a conclusion that its the transmission leaking because of the damage inside. Adjuster was extremely slow to give shop any kind of approvals to do anything , So after 3 weeks they finally allowed them to take transmission apart , another adjuster came out took pictures , then shop owner want around , called me and said that he will call me next day. Next day shop owner calls me asking if I heard anything from progressive ? I call that guy back , but he went on vacation. Call my first adjuster , she says that the guy who went on vacation concluded that it wasn't related to impact , so they wont pay for anything and I owe 500 for taking down transmission. I called shop owner right away asking if its possible , not being related to impact , he says of course not , otherwise your car wouldn't break after impact. He also said some technical explanation what caused it to break , i just don't know what. he also said that no one ever called him and asked him what was the cause if that. I dealt with progressive in Chicago twice , when i lived there , and i had greatest experience ever , but it seems that in Milwaukee , they are playing games , making me pay , and not taking responsibilities. I figured somebody might know what should I do in this case , I just want them to do what they should do , especially when Im paying 200$ a month.""

How does an Insurance Claim work?

How does an insurance claim work. Let's say I get up one morning walk outside and my car has been stolen? The police come out and take a report, then they leave. How long would it take insurance cover this and how much would they cover? For example, if I have a car that I'm financing that is worth $24,500.00 dollars that had full insurance coverage. Basically, how does it work? Since it's being financed, I'm sure the insurance company would pay out the remaining balanced owed on the car to satisfy the loan with the finance company but what happens to me afterwards? Lets say I have $100,000 dollars in coverage that covers me in case of theft or something like that. Being that the car was fully covered and insurance was able to pay back the loan, would they give me the money to buy a new car at equal or face value of the car that was stolen? Insurance is so friggin complicated...if someone could explain the process to me I'd appreciate it.""

Plainfield Illinois Cheap car insurance quotes zip 60586

Plainfield Illinois Cheap car insurance quotes zip 60586

Im looking for the Best Cheap Insurance for a young driver?

im looking to buy a 1973 chevy nova. and wondering whats a good insurance company that is cheap.

Does every state require auto insurance?

Does every state require auto insurance?

""Online Auto Insurance Quotes, are they really safe and accurate?""

I know several people who have submitted their information into one of the many online auto insurance quotes and now they have solicitors all over them, on their phone, emails, junk mail and even one case of Social Security Identity theft. So my question is: Are these online auto insurance quotes really safe? Doesn't it make sense to stay with a local auto insurance agent you can do business with either on the phone or in person.""

Is it legal for me to drive my friends car with my own insurance?

So my friend and I bought a car, however he does not have insurance yet, and I have comprehensive, liability and theft insurance for my own vehicle which is a Honda, now while I use his car, would it be legal for me to drive the car using my own insurance card? I have a notarized letter from my friend that I am allowed to use the car.""

I need help finding an affordable health insurance plan!! I am a young adult!?

I need help finding an affordable health insurance plan!! I am a young adult! I currently am 20, and I am on Medicaid. Full coverage. I am a former foster youth. Being a former foster care youth I get medicaid until I am 21. I turn 21 in October...I need some sort of affordable health insurance plan. I take ADHD medication, it really works and helps me focus. My work ethic has improved SIGNIFICANTLY, and I can actually focus. Its great, I am about to start college and am worried I am no longer going to be able to take this ADHD medication. I support myself for the most part, and no, I can not be on my parent's health insurance. I make about 16,000 a year, and pay half of rent and some bills etc. I need to find a health insurance plan that either A. will pay for all my my 198.00 a month prescrption cost, or B. pay for most of it. Will someone help me out? Direct me to any insurance company you know that can help me? Thank you so much. And please..real answers. Thank you for your time!""

How much does car insurance cost for teenage girls in Denver Colorado?

I'm 17 years old.

Creditable coverage for health insurance?

Heres my situation. I live in California. I get my health insurance through the company that my father works at (Im on my fathers health insurance plan). I Am turning 26 in October, so I wont have health insurance starting November 1st. I have been on my fathers health insurance plan since November 2011. I also have 2 preexisting conditions- OCD and ADHD (psychological conditions), and I have been seeing a psychiatrist and taking medications for those conditions for many years. I want to sign up for a new health insurance so I can get health insurance starting November 1st. I am thinking of getting on blue shield of California. Will I not be able to sign up for their health insurance because of my preexisting conditions? Or can I sign up for the health insurance and use creditable coverage to get my preexisting conditions covered? How does it work? What should I do right now and what should I ask the insurance companies?""

Would car insurance go really high if you got a mustang?

I'm 16 thinking about getting a 2000 mustang 150,000 miles clean driving record I have state farm. I didn't know if a mustang would make it jump to much high than just an average car.""

What are insurance rates on a 1992 camaro?

i want to buy a camaro but need to know if insurance will cost too much on a 1992 convertible camaro?

Insurance company policy?

I was hit in a wreck. They're insurance company quoted me $400 and wrote me a check for it which I did not accept. All they did was look at the external damages. Then I took it to a dealer collision center and they quoted me $1100 and they guessed more damage was done but couldn't say unless they took apart my bumper. I'm not wanting to get it fixed in a shop since my father can fix it for me, but $400 is not going to cover the cost of fixing it. so my question is... Does their insurance company have to give me the money quoted by other body shops or is my only option having it fixed in a shop?""

Home owner's discount on auto insurance?

how does my auto insurance company know if I own my home? do they just take my word for it?

What happens if your auto insurance gets canceled because you couldn't make the payment?

I have Esurance and I live in Florida where it is required to have car insurance. The policy is for 2 cars (mine & my husbands) and I can't afford the payment of $460 right now, which is due on the 13th, otherwise, they will cancel my policy. They can't give me any extensions. What happens if the policy gets canceled? How hard is it to reactivate it again? Is it harmful go have a lapse in coverage for a week or two (hoping of course that there are no accidents during this time). Both cars are financed and the finance companies require insurance as well... How bad will this screw me up? Has this happened to anyone? What did you do? Any advice would be great, and please don't tell me to just pay the bill, because I can't right now and it really sucks. I hate being broke.""

Insurance on a 95 camaro?

Im considering buying a pre-owned 1995 camaro for my first car. How do I find out how much the yearly insurance would be? Its not a convertible, and also its through allstate in new york. Would it be more than a 1998 maxima?""

Who can give me the name of some good health insurance companies or health insurance assistance programs?

Please tell me your monthly payment, the company name, your deductible, whether it's an individual or family policy, and if a family policy, how many family members in the plan. This info will help me decide who has the most affordable insurance for my budget. I just got layed off and my $60/mo medical insurance will cost $900/mo to keep it going. Like how the helll am I supposed to pay $900/mo; that's $225/wk! They must be dammm crazy!""

Which insurance company is cheapest for young drivers?

MY MOTHER HAS 4 YEARS NO CLAIM BONUS AND I JUST GOT MY LICIENCE AND LOOKING TO GET INSURED ON A CLIO 1.2 OR CORSA1.2 WHICH INSURANCE COMPANY IS THE CHEAPEST?? THANKYOU!

Can a car insurance company find out when you were first issued your license?

I know its wrong to lie, BUT ,my insurance would be SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much lower if I had been driving for longer. I didn't get my license until I was 22 and I'm 23 now, but they give me the rates of a teenager. I pay way too much!""

Car insurance smh idk what to do?

Ok I previously asked this same question but I just wanted to be a little more clear about things because there was obviously some confusion. The car I purchased was a 2001 Nissan Maxima and I got it for $1700 with a few minor things wrong with it. When I called an insurance agency they told me that I'll basically be buying the car 4 times in the next 6 months. About $7500 for 6 months. I'm 22, living in Brooklyn NY and those rates seem outrageous. I seen forums where ppl said they were paying 2-300 a month that's why I thought buying the car was a good idea and I wasn't aware that I could get a quote without purchasing insurance because the internet never quotes me. What can I do about that insanely high insurance rate? Will any private companies provide insurance for me? Should I just sell the car I just bought it today? Can I even sell it? all I did was sign his title so idek how I can sell it. Can he get another title? I'll give him $200 for the trouble and he can sell to sum1else""

How to get dental insurance in Alabama and how much it cost?

My friend doesn't have dental insurance. So i'm just trying to help out by asking for advice. What is the cheapest dental insurance she can get that is going to cover root ...show more

Insuring a teen driver?

I was wondering if I have to insure my teen driver. He's just turning 16 and I don't want my insurance rate to sky rocket. Why do I have to insure him, (if I have to.) Isn't him not being on the policy the same as someone borrowing my car?""

Car insurance rate for 24/m honda accord 03?

Just wondering if anyone could guesstimate a car insurance rate for me? I recently graduated college and just got my first job making 32,000 a year. I am thinking of buying a 2003 Honda Accord EX Coupe. I havent gotten a ticket or been in an accident, ill be commuting 20 min to work every other week (carpool) and i have ok/good credit (no co-signer required). Any guesses? Thanks!""

""How to save more money as a teen, for a car and motorcycle?""

I'm about to turn 16, and would like to save up for a reliable, cheap (2k-4.5k), good-looking, car. It has to be American, or anything other than Honda, Subaru, Toyota, Lexus, Hyundai, etc. cause dad works for GM. I am paying for the car on my own, most likely, but maybe I can convince parents to pay 1k or so. Money is tight right now in my family. Dad got demoted last year during GM's bankruptcy, and may get a promotion in spring. My Mom is opening a restaurant this year, which is going to cost a lot. I got a job in November at a brand new Kroger grocery store, where I get minimum wage and cannot work over 16 hours per week because I'm only 15. I have saved a little over 1.2k in the bank. I also have invested $500 of my own money this year into stocks, which are up a little. This might sound dumb to some, but I have dreamed of buying a motorcycle. I want a Kawasaki Ninja 650R. AND YES, I KNOW INSURANCE COSTS MONEY, (FOR CAR AND MOTORCYCLE) I'M NOT AN IDIOT. I also need to plan on how to save for that. Any tips, help, and info would be great! Thanks so much.""

How much does insurance cost for a Nissan GTR and Mitsubishi Lancer?

How much does insurance cost for a Nissan GTR and Mitsubishi Lancer?

Insurance prices?

does the color of a vehicle have anything to do with the price of insurance?

How much would car insurance be under my dad's policy? Or by itself under my name?

I'll be 21 in September and I'm getting a car really soon. I just have no clue how much the premium is going to cost me. I'm getting an older car. 100,000+ miles. So my question is, if I insure my car under my dad's policy and put it as one of those cars that is occasionally/rarely used , how much would a premium cost? If I decided to not join my dad's insurance and just get my own, how much would it cost? I'm not looking for sure good insurance because I'm a very safe driver- but I'm also not looking for crappy shady insurance either. Thanks!""

Insurance to volunteer at a clinic?

I was just offered an unpaid internship -type program through a veterinary clinic next to my university. I won't be getting paid and it will not help me with any credits, but it will provide me invaluable experience to get into vet school. However, they're requiring I get volunteer insurance (because it involves work with live animals) since I am an unpaid employee and will not be covered under them. How do I go about getting this? Thanks!""

Plainfield Illinois Cheap car insurance quotes zip 60586

Plainfield Illinois Cheap car insurance quotes zip 60586

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/how-much-all-tests-motorcycle-insurances-george-clark/"

[hopefulcollectiondazethings-blog]

Just how Facebook Was Founded.

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[creativelitlover]

Hi readers, hope your having a super awesome day! I have enjoyed OBSESSING over The Ending Series so much, and who’d of thought just a little tag in a fan art piece, by yours truly, started the on going blog posts and art work. Not forgetting how amazing team Lindsey has been…. hopefully I didn’t get on their nerves to much with the constant tags 😊 I have loved every second of it, and The Ending Series will always have a place in my heart and on my TOP shelf!

I was invited to join a VIP reader group, and I was over the moon! Lindsey Pogue has been great, we have spoken over social media which I then asked if I could do a feature Author Interview for my blog and they said yes!!

I seriously can’t get enough of this series!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️ Anyway that’s enough about me let’s meet the Authors to this AMAZING series……

The Ending Series- Question time 😉

1. I’m an emotional wreck when reading and quite often find my eyes blurring with stray tears….the ending series got me good! Real good!! What was the first book that made you cry?

LP: I honestly can’t remember the first book that made me cry, but I can tell you that I cry a lot. I even cry while I’m writing gut-wrenching parts of a story or while I’m watching sappy commercials. When I read Me Before You, I got teary-eyed, but when I watched the movie, knowing what would happen, I bawled my eyes out.

LF: It’s so amazing when we hear that our books create a strong emotional reaction in readers, especially because we had strong emotional connections to the characters as we were writing their stories. I usually have a moment or two during each project where I tear up during the first draft phase, and it’s no different for me when I’m reading other people’s books. The last one to make me cry was the beta version of Sarah Lyons Fleming’s Peripeteia, but the first book to make me cry…hmmmm. I’m certain that plenty of books made me cry when I was younger, but the first book I can vividly remember crying while reading was Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. I was in tenth grade, I think, and I was outright ugly crying during that scene in the Department of Mysteries when Sirius, well, you know…

  2. I can feel rather overwhelmed when my creativity is flowing and sometimes writing really does exhaust me, so I’d love to know… Does writing energise you or exhaust you?

LP: I think it depends on where I’m at in the writing process. If I have a deadline, it’s exhausting because I can’t let my mind rest. If I’m chilling and flowing with a glass of bubbles, lovin’ life, it’s energizing and I don’t want to stop.

LF: Both! I definitely reach a done point during days when I’m writing for the full day, and if I’ve been pushing out books back-to-back, I generally need to take a loooong break (think, vacation) after the second or third book. That being said, during each project, I seem to reach a point where the story is snowballing, and I can’t seem to get it out quickly enough. It’s all I can think about. It’s in my dreams. I don’t want to watch or read anything. I don’t want to see people. I become obsessed with the story, and that feeling is intoxicating.

  3. I personally love series! Particularly The Ending Series hehe, and love delving deep into the characters lives…. Do you prefer to read series or stand-alone? And why? LP: Generally, I like a good series. I feel like you can get to know characters so much more and it’s satisfying to be able to hold on to them a bit longer than a standalone allows (Pride and Prejudice, for example). BUT, I read standalones just as much and bear them no ill-will. Haha.

LF: I have a strong preference for series, especially long series. I love it when the characters start to feel like real people to me, and that usually doesn’t happen after just a single book—at least, not for me.

4. We all know mine! 😉 Do you have a favourite book/series? LP: I wish I read more for pleasure these days, but I haven’t been reading as much as I used to. I’m lucky if I get in my book club book in a month (sad, I know). I do a lot of beta reading, as well, so I stumble across some amazing series that way. I can tell you that I used to be obsessed with J.R. Ward’s Blackdagger Brotherhood and I nearly peed my pants with glee when Blay and Quinn got their own book. Sigh.

LF: My all-time favorite series is Kim Harrison’s Hollows series, starting off with Dead Witch Walking, but I have many other near-favorites ranging from Urban to Epic Fantasy to Paranormal or Time Travel Romance to Dystopian and beyond.

5. I’d love to know…. Do you prefer to read or write romance?

LP: I enjoy writing it, but I LOVE reading it more, I think. It’s less stressful and I can sit back and enjoy the ride. J

LF: Um…both? I love the surprise of reading stories with a strong romantic plot or subplot, but I have to admit that writing the romantic subplot is one of my favorite parts of each project. And there’s nothing better than a slow-burn, long build-up romance, which is what I’ve got going on in my Urban Fantasy series, the Kat Dubois Chronicles. I’m several books in, and things are finally starting to happen with the main character and her intended love interest. This next book’s going to be pretty fun to write… 😉

  6. I’m writing my first novel and I’m not looking forward to editing it…. Did you edit a lot from The Ending series? If so, was it hard to take parts out of your beloved story? LP: We edited After The Ending SO much it’s crazy. We changed the tense, we took out chapters and scenes and emails—added text messages…the list goes on. Revising has good and bad connotations for me. It’s daunting in that you need to be able to admit that your first draft was crap. That’s just the way it works. But when you revise it, you get to focus on making it better instead of just getting it down on paper. You get to add in the fun details and focus on the characters more than the story, if that makes sense. It does free you mind a bit to know you will be coming back to each word (many times), so writing, “his eyes looked like (something)” helps you keep going when you’re flowing and you can fill in the particulars later J

LF: I love editing and revising! I think that embracing that phase has really helped to free up my imagination during the outlining and first draft writing phases of each project, to the degree that those first drafts end up being better and requiring less revising. It’s a win-win! But yes, for the first couple books, it was hard to cut parts, but we did. We cut entire scenes, even resequencing one of the books altogether. But in the end, that book is so much better than it was originally, and when I read it, I can’t even remember what we wrote originally. For me, the cutting of lines, scenes, and even entire characters has gotten much easier with each consecutive project, but it wasn’t easy, at first.

7. I’ve yet to come up with an actual way to choose characters names…. But how did you select names for your characters from The Ending series? LP: Because we started off writing a blog, we didn’t think about names the way he should have (Camille, Clara, Cece, Cam). We got a lot of flack for not switching them up enough and making it confusing for readers. Now, names are SO important to me. In my Saratoga Falls Love Story, Nothing But Trouble, I had THE perfect name in my head for Colton Hayes’ character—that was his identity. But when beta readers got ahold of the manuscript, there was concern because of an actor named Colton Haynes and that was distracting them while reading. I had to change my Colton’s last name and it was SO hard to do.

LF: Funny you should ask that! I think our method (or lack there of) for choosing character names early on in the creation of The Ending Series is one of the things we would do differently, if given the chance (Jason, Jake, Jack…). Now, I make sure that few, if any, names start with the same first letter, and pay attention to (and try to avoid) names that rhyme, as well.

8. What was the hardest scene to write? LP: Hmmm…shootout scenes are always difficult for me—Into The Fire, in the center of town, outside the Colony, and in Before The Dawn with the final showdown, if you know what I mean. It’s often hard for me to wrap my head around “strategic” ways to kill people, fight each other, etc.

LF: Those final few scenes in the last book of The Ending Series were pretty tough. We wanted to make sure we delivered on everything we’d promised throughout the series, and we ended up heavily revising the ending—cutting one scene entirely and bulking up another quite a bit. I’m super happy with how it all wrapped up, but it wasn’t easy getting there. In another series, I had a scene where I literally wrote my character into a bathroom, trapping her in there with no way out. It took me a week or two to figure my way out of that one, and now I think it’s one of the most memorable scenes in that book.

9. Did you have to set yourself writing goals? Is that the best way to get things finished…. as I struggle to juggle writing and family life. LP: Yes. My entire day is planned around writing. I write for two(+) hours in the morning, then go to my day job. On my full writing days, I try to write for at least half the day and use the second half for the marketing and the business side of it (there’s A LOT to do all the time). If I’m on a deadline, I’ll set word counts per day or week.

LF: I write first thing in the morning, Monday through Friday. No social media, no checking stats and sales. And absolutely no emails. I walk the dogs, make my tea, then cuddle up with the cats and my laptop and settle in to write. I stop at lunch and spend the afternoon doing more business-y things. That schedule works for me, but each person is different. The only absolute is that you have to get butt-in-seat time. Figure out what motivates you, what you need to do to hold yourself accountable, and get your butt in that seat. 🙂

10. If you could spend time with a character from your book…. who would it be and what would you do?? LP: Normally, I would say Harper. But, today, I’m feeling like it would be Jake. It’s hilarious to think about. I have NO clue what I would say or do, especially since he’s the strong silent type. **Cue the crickets and awkward silence** I could pick is brain about spin-off series stuff, though J

LF: From The Ending Series? I’d have to say Jason… *blushes*

11. What genre do you prefer to write? And would you consider writing in another genre? LP: I always say that writing, for me, is like Skittles—I want to taste (write) the rainbow. I write multiple genres, including post-apocalyptic, contemporary new adult, historical fiction, alternative history… all with a splash of romance. I love myself a good love story, so you’ll always find that in my books.

LF: I’m pretty happy with anything in the Science Fiction or Fantasy realm. I’m writing Urban Fantasy right now, but I’ve also finished up a Paranormal Romance/Time Travel series and a Post-apocalyptic/Dystopian series (obviously). One genre I’ve yet to tackle but would like to one day is Space Opera, and I’d also like to try my hand and Epic Fantasy.

12. What is your method when creating first thoughts of your writing and ideas? LP: Honestly, I need to bounce ideas off of people, so I generally come up with a basic story outline and ideas, then I go have drinks with my friend(s) and they give me feedback. It also helps get me exciting about starting something new, which can be daunting at times. I’m a verbal processer, for sure.

LF: I go for walks. Lots and lots of walks. I listen to audiobooks I’ve already read/listened to, usually books in the genre I’m currently writing, and just sort of zone out, letting my thoughts wander through the potential story. I usually do that for a few days, jotting down ideas in a notebook, before actually attempting an outline.

13. Do you have a favourite place and time to write?

LP: Once I get my office fixed up, I will hopefully never want to leave, though right now, I would take the couch to my office (in disarray, though that’s where I sit now). As far as a time to write, I’m currently trying to train my brain to write in the morning. I like to write in the evening when things are quiet and chill, but after work is always crazy and cuts into my writing time. Mornings are more conducive to my crazy life, at least while I have a day job.

LF: Morning, sitting on the couch in my office with a cup of tea and a cat or two.

14. Do you write everyday?

LP: If I have a draft to write, then yes, at least Monday – Friday. Weekends, sometimes. If I’m revising/editing/plotting, I’ll use my writing time in the mornings to do that (or answer interview questions J)

LF: Sort of. I either outline, write, revise, or on the very rare occasion, beta read during my morning block. And I take weekends off. I didn’t use to, and I found I was draining my creative energy faster that I could replenish it. Now, I’ve found a good, healthy balance.

15. What else do we have to look forward to from you both?

LP: Now that Dust and Shadow is finished (or in the final round of editing), I will dive into the 3rd book in my Saratoga Falls Love Stories, Told You So. I’m excited to change things up a bit. Creating a new world for Dust and Shadow was exhausting. Revisiting the Saratoga Falls crew will be like hanging out with old friends. (LF can speak to the Ending Series goodies coming up.)

LF: Well, we’ve got one more project planned for The Ending Series proper—World After: A Collection of Stories. It’s companion book, World Before, comes out on July 31. We have a spinoff project planned, as well, but that’s farther off. Otherwise, I’m currently writing Soul Eater, the fourth book in my Urban Fantasy series, the Kat Dubois Chronicles, and I plan on writing at least two more books in that series before starting something else new.

How amazing are these guys!!!

Hope you have enjoyed getting to know these two fab Authors because I have!!

Have a slideshow of my fan inspired work ☺️✌️

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Happy reading guys 😊

  Author Interview ❤️ Hi readers, hope your having a super awesome day! I have enjoyed OBSESSING over The Ending Series so much, and who'd of thought just a little tag in a fan art piece, by yours truly, started the on going blog posts and art work.