#so lets pray that not only will they introduce new job models but most importantly job models with INSURANCE

[rovermcfly]

manifesting isnt real but the amount of times I've said "I wish you could make a living off of my museum tour guide job" feels directly connected to me suddenly getting the response "we were thinking of introducing a new job model for tour guides, it's good to know you would be up for it" from people in charge.

with some luck, this time next year my main gig will be my dream job

[thelmasirby32]

Top tips to grease your email marketing wheels in 2020

Sometime back the COO of Facebook had blurted out some unfortunate things about email marketing – that emails are going away and that marketers will have to focus on teenagers of today to finalize the marketing strategies of tomorrow, and so on and so forth.

Food for thought

Emails are timeless, dependable, unsung moneymakers that have invariably found continued success and more customers for almost 50 years now. And still, there’s no stopping it.

In fact, researches by Radicati Group found out that there were 3.9 million email users in 2019, and the market is expected to grow over to 4.3 million by the end of 2023.

This means, over half of the world population has been using emails in 2019 and the medium happens to generate more ROI than what meets the eye – $44 per dollar spent

Underlining the strength of emails, yet another research by Drift and Survey Monkey revealed that 65% of respondents in the past 12 months have communicated with organizations via emails, ranking it way above the rest.

Being around for so long, this phenomenon in economics is known as the Lindy effect.

The Lindy effect

Author Nassim Taleb in his popular book ‘Antifragile’ speaks about the Lindy Effect. According to him, the life expectancy of a business or an idea is in proportion to its current age.

Taleb states, “If a book has been in print for forty years, I can expect it to be in print for another forty years. And, if it survives another decade, then it will be expected to be in print another fifty years. Every year that passes without extinction doubles the additional life expectancy.”

Now, emails have already been around for 50 years, and so we could expect to see it around in 2070 as well. But then no, you can’t just get out there and shoot emails.

As email marketers, first and foremost, you will have to think about re-inventing the existing email marketing strategies in a big bang way if you wish to sustain your business’ email ROI in 2020 and beyond.

Simply put, email marketing will have to embrace videos, personalization, data, mobile, among many other strategies to retain their respective audience base.

This post is an attempt to highlight the key strategies that businesses need to adopt in 2020 to grease their email campaigns in 2020.

1. Mobile-centric emails

If anything, the mobile-mindset is sweeping across the digital marketing spectrum. According to email usage stats by emailmonday, email opens are happening more on mobile than desktop.

This means, if you still haven’t got your emails mobile-responsive, you are leaving a lot of money on the table.

Now, the question is how to optimize your emails for mobile?

Simple, you need to cut down the size of your copy, images and the overall design to suit the mobile format. A concise copy gives a clear view of the CTA button, which, in turn, leads to more visitors to your landing pages, blogs or product pages. More importantly, shorter copies make the emails much more scannable.

Here’s an example by campaignmonitor on how short copies offer clean, easy-on-your-eyes email experience to subscribers while checking their messages on mobile.

Unlike the first image, the second image is perfectly tailor-made for mobile screening.

The benefits of such copies can be seen clearly when you open such an email on mobile:

Sufficient white space in the copy offers an easy reading experience

The image on the first fold inspires further scrolling

A short copy means the CTA appears clearly. This saves the recipient from scrolling further down to reach a CTA button.

In case any additional copy or data needs to be added, you could accommodate that on the landing page to which your email CTA directs.

Further, make sure to test your emails from a user perspective. You cannot leave this to chance because users might spare only some time to check your emails on their phones. If they don’t like what they see, they are sure to delete your emails at once, let alone read the message.

2. Voice-friendly emails

Being mobile-centric is just one thing. By and by, you will have to make it voice-technology-friendly as well as the use of voice technology is growing worldwide.

In 2019, almost 112 million people, in the US alone, used a voice assistant, at least monthly, on different devices.

If you look at it, that’s quite a huge pool of users who’d love using voice-enabled emails as the technology progresses in the future. Some of the popular voice-assistant technologies currently in use include Amazon Alexa, Apple’s Siri, Google Assistant, Samsung’s Bixby, and Microsoft Cortana.

Presently, if you are using Amazon Alexa it will help you do five basic things with your email.

 Read it

 Reply to it

 Delete it

 Archive-it

 Switch to the next message

This could prove to one of the most effective and ingenious email marketing strategies of this century as it makes your message heard despite the busy schedule of subscribers. So, even if your email recipient is busy pursuing some other activity, a voice-enabled email would help you to quickly figure out the content of your email.

Even Apple’s Siri is programmed to offer you similar functionalities. You can check out How Alexa Reads Your Emails & Impacts Email Marketing blog to get further ideas on how to use Alexa for your emails.

3. AI-driven emails

Not long ago, email marketing was purely driven by human instinct, be it the subject line or the send time. It was spray and pray strategy, more or less.

No more. AI has taken the hassle out of email marketing as marketers can now make accurate predictions, that too, not just with the subject lines but the send time as well. Plus, it also offers amazing recommendations.

How does AI do that?

AI, powered by machine learning, makes use of massive data to arrive at decisions that keep evolving as it learns. Though humans are involved in AI training initially, but then, by and by, they evolve themselves to find their own solutions and pathways.

Here are a few top use cases of AI in email marketing:

A. Craft outstanding subject lines

AI-powered by NLG, which runs on large and structured data sets, is quite good at churning out outstanding subject lines that could even beat copywriters’ hands down. In addition to subject lines, AI is quite capable of generating content for social shares, press releases and more. From word choice to emojis and sentiments, the copies are spot on and delivered quickly.  And, more than anything generates more opens for your emails.

B. Optimization of  send times

In 2020, marketers will have to optimize email send times based on historical open patterns of the audience. Say, for example, if Jonny opens his inbox between 10.00 am and 1.00 pm then you need to make sure that your emails reach his inbox during that period of time and not later.

But then, his sister Joanna opens her inbox around 5.00 pm. Manually it’s almost impossible for marketers to shoot so many emails, at different points in time, especially when tens of thousands of customers are involved.

This is where AI could chip in with its expertise. AI is programmed to handle problems of scale easily. The technology dissects mountains of data to come up with a predictive model for every contact on your list. This way, every individual, on your list, is sent an email at a time when they are most likely to open it.

C. Smarter segmentation of email marketing lists

Segmentation of the email list enables marketers to develop a relevant buyer persona, which, in turn, helps them shoot tailor-made emails.  Such segmented email campaigns are known to increase revenues by a whopping 760%. However, such segmentation, though it yields good results, isn’t good enough.

Combined with AI, smarter segmentation, on the other hand, helps you generate a list that significantly accelerates open and click rates. This is because it thoroughly analyzes the behavior of the current customers and finds patterns that help you segment the audience in new ways. And, the brilliance of it is, that it gets the job done faster than what any humans could do.

Customization is central to capturing today’s audiences. And with smarter segmentation, you get optimized email lists that help your emails perform better.

4. Video centered emails

Yet another way to bolster your email marketing efforts is to add videos to your email campaign. It’s one of the proven ways to increase leads, educate customers and, in the process, enhance brand awareness.

And being a clear differentiator in terms of content, it manages to stand out from the mass of emails that you receive every day. They offer several advantages:

Immediately hooks the audience and drives engagement

More impactful than plain text as it communicates product or service information better and faster. This, in turn, ensures a faster response rate from users.

Complex topics are easily explained

Videos are viral in nature

Wide social media sharing, thus boosting a brand’s SEO ranking

Also, don’t forget, if your client’s emails are not HTML5-compatible, they won’t be able to view your videos. In such cases, you could do two things: One, you could create an image that looks like a video image. Once the user clicks on it, it would direct the user to YouTube. Just ensure that your video is on an autoplay mode. Two: Embed GIFs or cinemagraphs. According to Experian Research, 72% percent of brands using animated GIF or a cinemagraph experience higher transaction rates.

5. AMP for emails

As it turns out, AMP or accelerated mobile pages was introduced by Google to speed up the mobile web, specifically the landing pages, blog posts, and even full websites.  Now, with millions of domains already under the “AMP”ed umbrella, the open-source technology is expanding its reach to emails as well.

AMP for emails will allow email marketers to create more interactive and actionable emails with the help of AMP elements. Broadly put, when you add interactive features such as accordions, confirmation, carousels, and purchase buttons in your email, AMP will allow you to take actions inside their emails without opening a new tab or visiting the website.

Additionally, emails can be updated in terms of news articles, weather, stock prices, and so on.

Of course, each of these things is possible when you run a third party script Javascript inside these emails. However, according to Google experts, running a third party script inside an email may cause loads of security issues, which is not the case with AMP for emails.  In this case, the documents are analyzed for spam, phishing, among many other things, which, in turn, ensures the safety of the user.

Other benefits of AMP for Emails

The technology will swap static content with a more dynamic web-page like the content. So users will be able to receive highly personalized content on-demand in the form of current product prices, weather updates, news, and so forth.

It’s a red hot technology. Only a few marketers are experimenting with this technology. This means you have the edge over your rivals if you have a clear cut idea on how to use AMP elements inside your emails while interacting with the users.

Known email service providers such as Gmail, Yahoo, and Outlook support AMP technology. This means you can add AMP elements into the emails for most of your subscribers.

Examples of AMP emails

Pinterest: AMP allows you to enlarge each of the images, inside the email, and see more detailed information, instead of visiting the Pinterest webpage.  

Source: sendpulse

Doodle: With the help of the Doodle website, AMP for emails can help you create, manage, and respond to polls. Plus, you can set dates for meetings without opening a new tab.

Source: sendpulse

Bonus point

Overall quality should be the goal

Integrating all the latest technology and all is fine, but then don’t forget it’s the rudimentary aspects that make your emails click-worthy, that is content and design. So, by all accounts, take into consideration the following points while designing your email.

A. Content

An email shouldn’t have more than 50 words because a reader won’t be putting in more than 13.4 seconds to read it.

So, how do you write a compelling copy in 50 words?  Litmus recommends the following tips:

Short sentences

Limited jargons

Localization

B. Design

Some simple ways to make email designs accessible and effective to a broader audience:

Use Real text HTML

Be cognizant of font sizes, line spacing, and text justification

High contrasting colors

Ensure visual hierarchy

C. Code

To make sure that your emails can be read as soon as they are opened you need to slightly tweak your code. A solid code-base assures accessibility.

So how do you ensure a solid code-base?

Enter alternative text for images

Make HTML tables accessible to screen readers

Use semantic HTML

Specify a language in the HTML

Going by the Lindy Effect, email marketing, at the very least, is going to around for the next 50 years. So, no matter what, make it a point to update your current email marketing tactics with the latest technologies, be it AI, voice, video or AMP for emails.

The post Top tips to grease your email marketing wheels in 2020 appeared first on Search Engine Watch.

from Digital Marketing News https://www.searchenginewatch.com/2020/03/10/top-tips-to-grease-your-email-marketing-wheels-in-2020/

[deanogarbage]

Hurt (FiKi)

Pairing: Fili / Kili Rating: T Warnings: Character death, robot AU Summary: Dr. Philip Durin is one of the world's leading scientists in the field of artificial intelligence. His whole life solely dedicated to fixing a fundamental wrong. Things aren't as easy as creating an android to bandage a decades old wound.

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4

Dark wild curls are one of the last memories he has. Lanky limbs bundled in his arms.

“Kee, what’s wrong? Why the tears?” “I punched Gimli.” “Why on earth would you do that?” “Because he’s mean and he says mean things.” “Like what?” “That you won’t hang out with me anymore, that you want to hang out with your friends and not me. That you’re going to forget about me.” “I’m not going to do that.” “But you’re going to high school, Fili.” “And? I can go to high school and still make time for my favorite brother.” “I’m your only brother.” “And also my favorite.”

A roll of eyes.

“I’ll never leave you behind, Kili.” “You promise?” “I promise.”

Kili hugs him tight. Fili hugs back before gently pulling away.

“You need to apologize to Gimli.” “But he’s a jerk.” “And you’re a Durin. We are honorable people and we apologize. Plus, it will also look better if you do It now before mom forces you to.”

He ruffles his curls before pulling him into a playful headlock, the two wrestling into a fit of play fighting and giggles.

---

“Fili, where are you going?”

It’s a hushed whisper as Fili slowly and quietly opens the window.

“Out.” “Can I come?” “No, Kee. I’m just hanging with some friends. It’s late, go back to bed.” “But I want to come.”

Fili sighs with a bothered look.

“Just go back to sleep, I’ll be back before you wake up.” “But-“ “I said no, Kili. Stop being so annoying,” he quietly growls out before turning and going out the window.

Fili quietly climbs onto the overhang and carefully shimmies down the rain spout until he gets to the ground. He’s almost to the street when he hears a noise, freezing, praying it isn’t his mom.

Fili turns and looks to see Kili on the overhang.

“Kili! Stop! Go back inside!” He motions with a hushed yell. “I’m coming! You said you wouldn’t leave me behind!”

Kili starts to shimmy down the drain.

There is a creak. Then a pop.

A scream. Then a sickening crack.

“KILI! NO!”

---

Fili bolts up from the couch, sweating and breathing hard. A concerned pair of eyes at his side.

“Sir, are you alright?”

He nods and accepts the water offered to him with a shaking hand.

“Nightmare?”

He gives a curt nod before sipping the water; he knew he must have screamed if the twinge of soreness on his throat was any indication. He sets the water on the coffee table in front of him before grabbing his glasses.

“Thanks, Ori,” he gives an appreciative smile before giving himself a small stretch. “Sir, I don’t mean to overstep but possibly you should go home? Get some rest? When was the last time you left?” “Ori, what am I about to say?”

The younger man sighs softly.

“If you needed a wife you would be married, but I’m just trying to help, sir. You look exhausted and-“

Fili presses a finger over his mouth.

“Ori, I thank you for the concern. Now, catch me up over the past,” he checks the watch on his wrist, “Shit, I was asleep for six hours?” “Yes sir, you needed it, sir,” Ori practically grins.

A flash of red hair spins around in a chair as the two men walk into another room.

“Ah, good morning, sleeping beauty. What is that, twelve hours of sleep in a week? That has to be a new record,” The woman gives Fili a teasing grin. “Oh no, back in November I think he managed to get almost fifteen,” Ori corrects quickly.

Fili gives them both a deadpan look.

“If you both don’t think you’re replaceable, you’re wrong.”

Ori gives him a mortified look; the woman rolls her eyes.

“We keep your life interesting and fun, and not dull, brooding, and utterly monotonous. You love us.”

Fili doesn’t respond and just leans over looking at the computer in front of her.

“What do you have, Tauriel?” “I’m just finishing up the last, finally the last, of the basic framework for the adaptable personality neural network.” “When should we be able to upload it into the test model?” “This week, maybe next week at the most?”

Fili gives her a grin and kisses her on the cheek.

“And this is why I keep you around. Brilliant job, Tauri. Ori, in the lab, with me.”

Fili leads back into a series of automatic doors to a sterile work area.

“I want to work on customization of the model.” “Really, sir?” “It’s our third model. I feel confident. This is going to be the one.”

Ori looks over the mechanical skeleton and nods.

“What would you like, sir?”

“I’ve sent you a file with the specifications. Get to work on those, I need to readjust the equilibrium in it. Its fine walking but tipped over a few times on the running tests,” Fili explains.

Ori nods and takes a look, “I’m sure it’s a calibration problem in the inner ear if I could make a suggestion, sir.” Fili smiles and nods, “Thank you, Ori. I’ll take a better look. I’ll be in here. Take off whenever you need to.”

Ori give him a quick nod and heads to his own little office area, jumping onto his computer. Fili watches before pulling out a small tool kit from his back pocket and sits starting to work on the robot in front of him.

I’m going to make this right. I have to.

---

Fili adjusted his tie nervously taking a breath. His uncle clasping his shoulder reassuringly.

“You’ll do great, Fili. You’ve worked hard for this.”

Fili nods shakily and takes a breath. A door opens and a man motions for Fili to come in. Fili grabs his bag and multiple thick folders. He walks into a conference room and hands a few of the folders to the man who passes them out to the ten people watching him in the room. Taking a breath, he stands at the podium and plugs a flash drive in the computer and opens a presentation.

“Thank you so much for giving me the opportunity to speak with you all. My name is Dr. Philip Durin of Durin Technologies, one of the leading providers in computer and robotic technologies. While the field of robotics and artificial intelligence has been primarily reserved for the service industry, we are looking at one of the first completely comprehensive AI systems the computer science world has to offer. We are introducing KILI, Kinetic Integrative Linguistic Intelligence,” he moves the slide.

“What does this mean? Our software is the most advanced on the market. This robot moves like a human, talks like a human, and not only that has the ability for error and discretion of a human. Before you I have sample coding and some of the finer pieces of mechanical engineering for this AI unit. We are a year away from a final product, but with possible funding, we could streamline this product.”

“And what kind of incentive is your uncle offering,” a smug blond man looks up at him.

Thranduil Greene, Fili holds back an eye roll.

“Durin Technologies and Enterprises is offering 10% in product share, a space on the board of directors, as well as say in the next independent KILI unit created.” “They’re customizable?” Another man at the table asks. “Completely. Male or female, race, body size, hair and eye color, but most importantly personality is your decision.” “We are working on a lot of promises, Dr. Durin.” “I realize that, but I can’t provide even a test model without funding. We can’t bankrupt our own company for one project. But Thorin would never let me present this on his behalf if it wasn’t a viable project.”

The group talks amongst themselves for a moment. Fili wipes his palms on his slacks, a nervous buzz running through him as Thranduil’s own engineers and computer scientists look over the codes and blueprints. The words soon hush and Thranduil looks at him.

“25% product share.”

Fili lets out a relieved sigh.

“I believe we can make that work, sir. Thank you,” Fili smiles eagerly. “I’ll have my lawyers meet with your uncle’s. This is incredibly impressive, Dr. Durin. However, if this product fails we want full and complete reimbursement of our funding.” “Understood, sir. Thank you.”

Thranduil looks dismissively and Fili takes that as his cue to leave. As he exits the room, he gives a smile to Thorin and nods.

“For 10?” “25.” “Fili,” he growls. “It’s the best shot we have, Iron Hills was wanting 50%. No one but Greene will offer us this much as such a little cost.”

Thorin grumbles and gets on his phone summoning the company’s lawyers. Fili sinks into a chair in utter relief.

I’m bringing you back, Kili. I’m going to make this right.

[gaylordepicboy]

Mark and Jack Join the Fake AH Crew (for a little while, at least).

Geoff had gathered the crew together in his spare apartment to wait for the new arrivals that would be helping them on their next heist. These men were in the same business as the crew but worked primarily solo. Both were revered in the worst ways for their chaotic yet brutally effective style. They were loose canons: trigger happy, overwhelmingly destructive, apathetic and reckless: precisely the added edge the crew needed for this mission. Due to their individual successes, the duo came at a steep price and arrived on their own terms. Geoff thought it only appropriate that the men be properly introduced (whenever it was that they arrived) and that the crew should come off as intimidatingly well organized as possible. 

 This was the infamous Fake AH Crew.

 And they had a reputation to uphold. 

There was just one problem- Geoff had forgotten that the crew members weren't accustomed to sitting in one place for long periods of time. Barely an hour had passed and Gavin was already daring Michael to fence against Jeremy: one with the fire poker and the other with the ember shovel. "Hey, why does he get the pointy one!?" Michael protested, "And I get the shovel thing!? This is fucking bullshit..."  Ryan was trying to diffuse the situation, patting the air and cooing "Boys, boys, leave the fencing to the professionals. Let's not kill each other before giving someone else the satisfaction of trying first, alright?" Jeremy crouched, posturing in a clumsily mimicked fencing position, "Think you could do better, huh?" He was eying Ryan like a mischievous puppy that wanted to play. "I could fence you with my switchblade right now, even if you actually knew the proper fire-poker wielding technique," Ryan flicked out his blade, a playful gleam in his calculating eyes, and settled into a fighting stance. Jack was making bets with Gavin on who was going to win until Michael wrestled the Brit to the ground. Geoff watched disdainfully, warning "If one of you fuckers knocks over my expensive whiskey someone is actually gonna die!"  

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. 

 Everyone stopped- Jeremy standing on the table with the poker poised above his head and Ryan below, daring a glance at the door with his open switchblade held defensively before him. Michael dropped the ember shovel, releasing a gasping Gavin from an iron choke hold, and Jack hopped down from the bar where she'd been cheering to creep up behind Geoff. "Is that them?" She whispered. "How the hell should I know, I haven't opened the goddamn door!" Geoff hissed back. "Then quit whisper-yelling at me and go open the goddamn door!" "FINE!” Geoff’s volume had graduated to a stern yell, “But when I open that door this room better be presentable as dicks!" "Yes, sir!..... Colby!" Jeremy saluted, turned, and launched the fire poker in hopes of arcing it into the rack by the fire place. The flying iron spear chipped against the surrounding brick with shriek and clattered to the ground. "Oops." Geoff heaved an exasperated sigh and muttered his way to the door, half expecting whoever was there to have left by now. The visitor certainly hadn't left, as Geoff quickly discovered; instead, he had reclined lengthwise along the railing of the stairwell's landing with one leg hanging off the side and the other firmly planted on the rail for balance. The man unclasped his hands from behind his head and turned to look at Geoff, repositioning himself like a French model on a balance beam with a self-satisfied smirk. "I figured I'd let myself in, but I didn't want to be rude and interrupt whatever you guys had going on in there. Sounded like it was getting pretty heated," The man spoke calmly, his voice like the rumble of thunder on a warm night. It was almost enough to make one forget that he had just bypassed an advanced security system and six strategically placed door locks. Geoff was already starting to feel like he'd made a monumental mistake, but it was too late to turn back now. This kid better not be more trouble than he's worth... "Well, gee, I can’t imagine what we could’ve done to deserve so much of your discretion. Or is this just how you kiss up to all your employers?" The man smiled again, "Only the ones I like." In one fluid motion, he grabbed the duffel bag lying next to him with one hand and held the railing with the other, swinging his feet over onto the ground and landing squarely in front of Geoff. "So, where's this 'crew' I've heard so much about? Rumor has it you're the most formidable gang in Los Santos, I'd hate to think you'd take all that credit for yourself." "You obviously underestimate just how much of an egomaniac I am,” Geoff retorted, “ And it's not a rumor, kid, we're the real deal. You'd better learn that pretty damn fast or this job is gonna suck, I'll tell you right now." "Heh. I think I'll be the judge of that." Geoff grimaced at the man’s flagrant arrogance, if only because it rivaled his own, "Wipe that dumbass smile off your face and follow me." Inside he was frantically praying to every deity he denied the existence of that the crew had gotten their act together. He wasn't about to be made a mockery of, especially by this pretentious delinquent.

Was he? 

Apparently, the Gods were feeling generous towards the nonbelievers that day, because waiting for him in the other room was nothing short of a miracle. The lights had been dimmed and the electric shades on the surrounding windows were closed, allowing the burning logs in the fire place to cast an eerie glow across the faces of the crew members. Gavin was reclining in the arm chair with his feet propped up on the coffee table, lazily shuffling and reshuffling his deck of gold-laced playing cards; Jeremy used the windowsill like a bench, resting his elbows on his knees and slouching so that the brim of his cowboy hat just barely covered his eyes; Ryan had thrown on his mask was now leaning against the brick of the fire place with his arms crossed; Michael took over the couch, his arms splayed out along the back cushions on either side of him, a burning cigarette hanging loosely from his mouth; Jack sat at the adjacent bar and took a long swig of the beer she had been nursing, brining it down on the marble counter with a decisive clonk when Geoff and the visitor walked in. This is just too goddamn beautiful, Geoff thought, surveying the scene, Man, I'm gonna have to do something special for this one. Maybe buy 'em some fireworks or, no, you know what? I'll get 'em the whole goddamn store!... "Well, if no one's gonna introduce themselves I guess I'll start," the man, who had for the last few seconds been impatiently shifting from foot to foot, cleared his throat, "Hello everybody, my name is Markiplier." 

 The crew members looked him up and down: from his pink- laced running sneakers to his pink and black leather jacket to his dark hair that fell to one side in a stylishly messy quiff. "Bloody well took your damn time gettin'ere din't you?" Gavin chided. "He sure did," responded Michael through smokey puffs. "Hey, hold on a second here," Jeremy held out his hand as if the Force was telling him something was off, "We aren't paying for just one ridiculously expensive criminal, so where's your friend, huh?" "Oh, don't worry, he'll be here. Honestly, I wouldn't worry about it if I were you," the smirk that had reemerged on Mark's face faded slightly when he noticed Ryan by the fire place. He turned to the bar, where Geoff had poured himself a glass of whiskey and motioned to Ryan with a nod of his head, "What's up with Skeletor over there? Not much of a talker, is he?" "He's probably still deciding whether or not he's going to kill you," Jack replied. "How will I know?" "You won't. But honestly, I wouldn't worry about it if I were you,” with that Jack shot Mark a pointed glance and took a disinterested swig of beer. "Riiiiiight...." Mark looked back at Ryan, who had turned his head slightly and stared back- his mask creating two endless pits of black void where his eyes would be. Mark felt an involuntary shiver creep up his spine and tried to look anywhere else. Luckily, a distracting crash followed by the sound of splintering wood and crumbling plaster erupted from the entryway. "See? What'd I tell you?" Mark's smile returned full force as he and the rest of the crew rushed out to check the damage. 

 "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!?" Geoff was ranting, "I DISH OUT THE MONEY TO PAY YOU TWO SCHMUCKS AND NOW I GOTTA GET A NEW DOOR!? C'MON!" "Sorry, man, but you had this placed locked up like a high security prison'r somethin'!" A figure appeared from the wreckage, batting the dust off his torn-up denim vest with one gloved hand, and dragging his own duffel bag with the other. The crew could make out a sprig of green hair escaping from beneath his gray ivy cap. "You couldn't have just KNOCKED?" Geoff cried. "Oh... Yea coulda done that, couldn't I? the man said with a chuckle, “But you knew I was here didn't ya?!" He took a second to take in the astonished faces surrounding him, "Well, ain't this a fine group a'people ya got here? Top of the mornin' to ya laddies, my name is JackSepticeye! At your service!" He bowed dramatically low and nearly tripped on the shattered remains of the door, chuckling again, "Oh dear, this is gonna be a problem now in’it?”  "No shit Sherlock!" Michael snapped. Geoff pinched the bridge of his nose, he was still seething but took a breath, coming to terms with the absolute mess in front of him. The door was the least of his problems. "You know, I'm not getting paid enough to deal with shit like this right now, and neither are any of you until we get our hands on a whole shit load of money. So, here's what we're gonna do: we're gonna go in there, sit our asses down, and have a cozy fucking chat about what we need to do to make sure this heist goes fine and dandy and that we all go home alive and, more importantly, rich. Now who's coming with me?" The tensity in the room practically created sparks in the air, but as each person remembered their shared purpose the electricity dissipated into unsettled contentment. Glances passed between the crew members, to Mark and Jack, then back again. "JackSepticeye, huh?” Jeremy stepped forward, “I'd call you Jack, but as it happens that position’s already been filled." “Hey, no worries, man, you can just call me Sam if gets confusin' for ya." "Or we could just start calling Jack 'Mum'," Gavin chimed in. "Oooh, you got yourselves a Britt, I see. We aren’t gonna have a problem now are we, bro?" "Depends,” Gavin considered, “If you'll show me how to do that little door bit I think we'll get along excellently." "Man, I like this dude!" Jack offered a high-five which Gavin accepted, and the two began chatting excitedly. 

Mark felt a tap on his shoulder and wheeled around to see a black skull in a leather jacket standing uncomfortably close behind him. "Oh, uh, hey there buddy. Sorry about the whole... "Skeletor" thing earlier. Y’know I’ll bet you're actually a really nice guy under there." In response, Ryan carefully removed his mask, exposing piercing blue eyes, dark hair pulled back in a ponytail, and meticulously applied face paint. He fixed Mark with a cold stare, then looked down at the mask in his hands and scoffed, "I wouldn't go so far as to call myself nice, but I wouldn't kill you for no reason if that's any consolation." "I'll take the consolation prize if it means your less likely to kill me dead," "Yea, right. Besides, having a reason makes killing much more fun, really gets the blood pumping, you know?" "Haha... Yea uh... Totally." "Hey Ryan, quit harassing the new guy and give someone else a turn, will ya!" Michael cut in. "I wasn't harassing anyone!,” Ryan insisted, putting his hands up as if to plead innocence, “We were just having a pleasant conversation, weren't we Mark?" "Yep, no harassing going on over here! Just talking about killing...stuff,” he explained with a stiff thumbs up and a forced grin. "Well, while we're on the subject let me tell you about this one asshole I had to deal with the other day. Oh my god this guy was fucking annoying as shit!..." Eventually, the whole crew began mingling with their temporary additions rather successfully. The only fight that broke out was between Mark and Jeremy, but even that was fueled by friendly competition over who was the strongest proportionate to their height. Geoff and Jack watched like proud parents from the sidelines, marveling at the fact that the situation had deescalated without any broken bones. Somehow, the crew had found it within themselves to welcome these two into their ranks, if only for a few days. 

 And maybe, just maybe, there was a tiny sliver of a possibility that this whole thing would work out.