#so let's see things from our genius's perspective

[asidian]

One thing I haven't seen talked about is Crystal's character arc, and specifically the way the timing of it interacts with Charles' arc. They stumble over each other in the worst possible way en route to their respective character growth, and from a narrative perspective, it's absolutely genius.

I'm going to preface all this by saying: none of this is a criticism of Crystal. Part of what makes her such a dynamic, refreshing character is that you don't get to see women in fiction written the way she's been written. You don't get to see women with her flaws that aren't throw-away mean girls or villains. You especially don't get to see women with her traits who learn and grow and become better people. So yeah, I'm going to talk about Crystal's character flaws. No, this isn't Crystal hate. We love our girl in this house. Okay? Okay. Let's start.

Crystal's character arc, at its heart, is all about her learning to be a better person because she has good influences that love and support her for the first time.

When the show starts, Crystal is not a nice person. She's abrasive in a way that's specifically designed to push people away. She's used to getting her own way, and it shows. She's used to having no meaningful connections with anyone, and it shows. She's breathtakingly selfish, in the very literal sense of the definition. She is focused on her self. Her problems are front and center to her; everything is about what she needs, and what she wants, and how she's struggling.

Jenny calls her out very early on. In episode one, Crystal is complaining about the boys, and Jenny, for all her cynicism, strikes right at the heart of the problem. She tells Crystal, "Everybody is always thinking about themselves, all the time." People only care about their own problems. And she says, correctly, that that's what Crystal is doing, too.

This moment is a revelation for Crystal. For the first time, she considers what her behavior looks like from another person's perspective. As she says, she gets mad at herself over it, and that awareness allows her to do something selfless for the first time in the series. She takes a step back and insists that instead of focusing on her problems, they go to help a little girl. It's a big moment for her.

But importantly, she's not done growing as a character here. She's only just getting started.

On my first watch through, I didn't realize how often, over the next few episodes, Crystal redirects things to her problems during conversation, but it's quite a lot. She's still focused on herself – selfish, in that most literal definition of the word. The issues most important to her are her issues. She's starting to learn to think about other people, but she's not there yet. The process is still underway.

Which brings us to Charles.

Charles' arc is a different sort of self-reflection. He's terrified that he's a bad person the way his father was and the way the boys that killed him were.

During the course of the show, he gets systematically stripped of his confidence and made to feel helpless, and just like Crystal needs outside influences to help her reach a more stable place, Charles does, too. He desperately needs reassurance that he isn't everything he's afraid he is.

But my goodness, the timing in their arcs is such a trainwreck when you put them together, and it is brilliant.

Let's start with the Devlin House.

Crystal has some amazing character growth here. She displays genuine concern about Charles, makes an attempt at comforting him, and learns to work with Edwin even though she still doesn't particularly like him at this point.

Charles, meanwhile, is beginning to fall apart. He's just had the worst night of his afterlife. He's been viscerally reminded of how helpless he is. He couldn't stop the Devlins from being killed over and over, just like he couldn't stop his own father's abuse. He messed up his attempted rescue so badly that he was completely out of commission until the case was finished. He managed to help not one single thing. He made no impact at all. He couldn't help those girls any more than he was able to help himself, while he was still alive.

So they get back to the butcher shop, and what do we see? Monty immediately coopts Edwin. Niko doesn't know what's happened because she wasn't there and Charles has been all fake smiles with her. And Crystal goes off with Niko, leaving Charles to flounder on his own in the wake of everything. She's still learning how to support other people. She isn't there yet, and it's extremely on display in this moment.

Then we get the lighthouse episode, and they both get put through the wringer here. Crystal gets her hopes and expectations jerked around by the Night Nurse in the very worst way, and Charles gets hit with a whole pile full of trauma. All that helplessness wells to the forefront again. Combined with being forced to relive some of his worst memories and the desperation to keep Edwin safe from hell, Charles lets himself act on his anger for once.

And what does he get in the aftermath? Horror.

Everyone who cares about him is horrified by what he's done. Edwin goes so far as to call it extreme. They don't know the half of it, of course; they haven't seen what the Night Nurse just put him through. But in this moment Charles is at his absolute lowest, and all he sees is confirmation that he's exactly as terrible as he thinks he is.

That's why Charles shrugs off Edwin's attempt at comfort, here. When he needed to be able to do something to protect Edwin and also himself – when he needed to believe that he could be better than what his father always was – all he sees is the confirmation from the people he cares about most that when push came to shove, he really is a bad guy.

Then comes the aftermath. And this moment is such a brilliant, awful clash of both of their character arcs. It is so delightfully messy.

Because Charles starts to open up to Crystal here. He starts to lay himself bare, the way he ends up doing with Edwin in episode 5. He's on the verge of admitting something that he's been worried about for literal decades. He tells her, "I've been angry for such a long time."

And what does Crystal do? She's still in the midst of her own character growth. She's still struggling to support other people. She's still learning how to. In a lot of ways, though she's made progress already, she's still that selfish girl that Jenny called out in the very first episode.

And she shows it here it with the absolute worst possible timing. No sooner has Charles started to talk about what's bothering him than she cuts in with her own problems. She's tired of riddles and spirits and demons and not knowing who she is. And the look on Charles' face. The moment when he visibly sets aside his own problems, because Crystal doesn't need any more disasters on her plate? It's heartbreaking. You can actually track the subtle change in his expression there. The actor does a phenomenal job.

And then comes the kiss. And what spurs it? Crystal saying she needs something real.

This moment isn't about light-hearted attraction, the way the earlier flirting is. It's Charles setting aside what he needs – comfort and reassurance and a moment to talk through the things that have been tearing him apart – to give her what she says she wants. He can't even feel it. And Crystal isn't far enough along in her character growth here to realize how selfish she's being. Like Jenny said way back in episode one, she's only thinking about herself.

And then comes the absolute unmitigated disaster of episode 5.

Straight out the gate, Charles leans in for a kiss. From his perspective, they have something together; there's affection there. Charles "I think I'd miss kissing" Rowland, who has been starved for meaningful physical contact for thirty years, is not in a hurry to give this up.

But Crystal is fresh out of a nightmare where she conflates Charles with her abusive ex. She withdraws; she calls what they had a distraction. She cuts it off almost as soon as it's started, so focused on her own worries here that she misses how damn fake Charles' smile is, to cover up that he's coming to pieces.

To be clear, she's absolutely not in the wrong here. It is 1000% her prerogative not to jump into a relationship again while she's still struggling to work through what happened with David. But the arc of her narrative is still early enough that she does it all without so much as the awareness that her focus on her own issues has hurt Charles terribly.

And then the episode really kicks off, and both of them are in shambles in very different ways.

Crystal is projecting her issues with David onto Charles. She has a lot of history, and David seems as though he's exactly the right sort of toxic to leave lasting a lasting impact. But Charles hasn't done anything to deserve her assumptions, and he takes the brunt of her temper here and throughout the episode.

Charles is desperately projecting onto the dead jocks. He very badly wants them to be good guys, because he sees himself in them and he needs himself to be a good guy. He snipes back at Crystal for the very first time in this episode, and he does it in the worst way possible, accidentally prodding her where it will do the most damage.

They're both hurting. They both say some truly painful things to one another.

She does not need to hear that she has unsorted hangups about David still plaguing her while she's unable to move past them. He desperately does not need anyone to tell him that he has rage issues while he's still struggling to think of himself as a decent person.

They apologize, in the end. They start to move past it.

But it's telling that Charles doesn't try to open up to Crystal again. He goes to Edwin instead, even though Edwin is the one who called his actions regarding the Night Nurse extreme. He gets the reassurance he needs so badly; he gets the connection he was looking for with Crystal from Edwin, instead. (I have a lot of thoughts on why Charles initially tries to open up to Crystal so quickly, but it is very much an aside, and this is already extremely long, so it will have to wait for another write-up.)

But the important thing here is, Edwin is the one to offer Charles what he needs to overcome the self-doubt eating him alive. Edwin provides the physical affection Charles was seeking in the form of that long-overdue hug. Edwin is the one who's able to reaffirm for him that he's not just a good guy, he's the best person Edwin knows.

And for all intents and purposes, Charles' major character arc ends here.

Charles has a few last little moments to go on the path to rebuilding his own self-image, after this, but for the most part his concerns have been resolved. He saves Crystal in episode 6 and Edwin in episode 7, proving to himself that he's able to make a difference in the face of overwhelming odds. He's not helpless, no matter what the Night Nurse told him; he can be a force for good in the world. By the end of the series, his crisis of self-doubt seems to have been largely overcome.

But it's the conversation with Edwin at the end of episode 5 that really allows him to work through his most pressing issues. Edwin is there to help support him when he stumbles. Edwin provides him the comfort he was looking for while Crystal was too worried about her own problems to notice how badly he needed the help.

Crystal, meanwhile, still has a ways to go after episode 5. The last three episodes are where she does her most important character growth.

In episode 6, she learns some hard lessons about keeping secrets and letting people help and appreciate you even when you can't offer them anything in return. And Charles, importantly, is there for her every step of the way. He consistently offers her physical and emotional support. He models for her, in a very real way, what it looks like to have someone prop you up when you need the help.

And in turn, Crystal steps in to save the boys. She's the big damn hero at the end of this episode.

The breakthrough continues into episode 7. She's so intent on helping to get Edwin out of hell that she literally goes to face her own demons, not for herself for once – not for her own purposes or needs or wants – but because she wants to help someone else.

And episode 8, at long last, brings her to the culmination of her character arc.

Crystal is at her absolute lowest here. Her family, the people who were supposed to love her unconditionally, didn't even realize she was gone. Her precious memories, that she's spent the entire series trying to regain, have showed her that she's not the person she hoped she would be. She's overwhelmed enough that she means to flee, to cut herself off from her new friends entirely.

Then the boys get kidnapped. And just like that, she makes up her mind.

For the first time since the start of the series, she sets aside her most important issues in order to let what other people need take precedence. She disregards all of her own personal concerns and focuses instead on others. She's finally stepped out of those selfish impulses that Jenny calls her out on, all the way back in the first episode. She's finally learned how to support other people when they need it.

Crystal has finally figured out how to be there for others, despite having troubles of her own.

It's a lovely arc, and it's beautifully done.

Charles' is just as touching.

And god damn, but it was a brilliant narrative choice to have their character arcs line up in exactly the wrong way.

[sierrale8ne]

40 DAYS AND 40 NIGHTS CHAPTER FOUR

thought i’d be lying if i said ‘i didn’t want you to myself.’ when you look me in my eyes and, tell me that it’s mine, i…

pairing wnba!paige bueckers x singer!oc

taglist @thaatdigitaldiary @rosemariiaa @patscorner @makethemhoesmad @wbbgetsmewetter @authentic-girl03 @ohbueckers

kalena speakss 🪽! i had no clue what to write for this chapter but i scrapped something together and here it is! pls know this was supposed to be out like two hours ago but most of it got deleted and i had to rewrite it, so ignore any typos for the moment, ill fix em eventually 😭

May 2025 — Los Angeles, California

My leg bounces anxiously in the passenger seat of Julian’s car. The vehicle is silent, oddly enough, a complete 180 turn from the atmosphere of the last few days.

Things were really good. Julian and I were getting along better than ever, date nights and sleepovers. Up until we were arguing again. About schedules, staying out late, and of course the biggest disagreement in our relationship; the public.

We stayed up through all the hours of the night last night yelling at each other because I didn’t post about our date on my story; which I thought was childish but Julian evidently thought it was very serious.

Maybe I was wrong.

Maybe it was a big deal. Even when I thought about it from his perspective, I would probably be upset too. But the issue was we’ve talked about this before, countless times.

I sat looking out the window, an air-pod in my right ear that softly played music to keep my head clear. Briefly interrupted by my text tone going off.

Marayeeeee

Paige. Obviously. She’s been the most consistent number in my phone since the dinner party a while back.

don’t ask me for more banana pudding please

You trippin 😭😭

Wanted to see if you were busy, I miss you

“Who’s that?” Julian asks me.

“Just Paige.” I responded, my eyes only briefly looking up from my phone to look at him. It didn’t take a genius to notice how his demeanor changed. The slight roll of his eyes, and the shift in his seat.

“You guys have been talking a lot lately, no?”

He would be right. Aside from the texting throughout all hours of the day, we’ve gone out for lunch a few times over the last couple weeks. She was good company, and very easy to get comfortable around.

“Yeah, something like that.”

i’m actually heading to the airport rn…

Oh

Where to?

dallas! i have a few shows in texas and atl

but i’ll be back next weekend since you miss me so bad ;)

She doesn’t respond right away and I take that as the opportunity to shut my phone off and stick it into my pocket.

Julian lets out a long sigh as his hand runs over his face. “You know we still have to talk about last night, right?”

“What is there to talk about if we’re just gonna keep disagreeing?” I ask softly, trying to avoid raising my voice and starting yet another argument.

“You want me to stop bringing it up? Fine. But don’t get mad when I don’t put up with it anymore.”

The LAX drop off comes into my view and I turn my head to avoid looking at him once more. I don’t miss the lump that sits in my throat, or the tears that sting my eyes. I’ve never considered myself emotional, normally just keeping how I felt to myself or writing it in music, but that one stung.

“Okay Ju.” I shake my head, unbuckling my seatbelt when the car comes to a stop. “That’s fine.” I comment before stepping out of the car. Even after all that, he still hops out to help me get my bags, and I know he’s upset with me and I’m just as upset with him but the way he hugs me and kisses my forehead nearly makes me forget about it.

Nearly.

Because even then, I’m thinking about how his arms don’t feel like they used to. And after a few seconds the kiss that is lingering on my forehead just feels like slobber that I can’t wait to wipe off.

—

May 2025 — Las Vegas, Nevada

I sit comfortably on my hotel bed, a game playing as background noise in front of me and film on my iPad. We play the Aces tomorrow on prime time television and though I should probably be getting some rest, there’s only one person that could possibly be keeping me up at midnight before game day.

Maraye. Obviously.

I can see every bit of her from the phone screen. She’s laying on her bed quite literally giving me a show of her entire upper body. She has on a gray tank top, and I have to remind myself to look up at her face rather than the way her tits sit in that top.

“Paige?”

“Yeah, sorry. What did you say?”

“I said shouldn’t you be watching film instead of me?” She joked. I turned my head before she could get a look of the flush of my face.

“Yes, actually, but you wanted to talk about um, what’s his name again?”

“Julian?”

“Yeah him, and I’m trying to be a good friend.” I shrugged. “What was the issue again?”

Maraye sulks on the other line, shaking her head before speaking. “It’s like we always argue about the same shit. I don’t have the energy to put up with it anymore.”

I’m probably the world’s biggest asshole for giving her relationship advice while wanting her in my bed right now, but oddly enough there isn’t a bone in my body that cares.

“Don’t y’think you should tell him that? That it’s tiring or something?” I suggest. My head leans to the side to get a better look at her and it’s so hard to stay focused on the topic at hand when she’s looking the way she does right now.

Maraye’s skin is glass. I swear if I were to look hard enough I would see my reflection in it. There’s a few freckles that sit on her skin that I can’t just barely see in the light. She has on her reading glasses, wide round frames that complement her brown skin and brown eyes beautifully.

“I tried! But then it makes me look like the bad guy, and I don’t wanna seem like an asshole.”

“How would you be the bad guy for saying how you feel? It’s not that hard, I mean you’re doing it with me right now.”

She laughs at this. “That’s not the same.”

“Yeah? How?”

There’s a silence on the other end, and I notice the way she breaks eye contact with me. Her head turning away from the phone screen and instead looking up somewhere else in the room.

She’s right, it’s not the same. I’m not the one she goes home too, or will introduce to her family, no matter how often I daydream that I am. Nevertheless, still I convince myself that it is.

“We’ve been friends as long as you guys been together, and you can tell me everything, right? Why not him?” I ask. My eyes trail away from the phone screen and over to my iPad to make the silence a bit more comfortable.

“You’re just easier to talk to, Paige. I don’t know.” Her voice trails off at the end of her sentence. “I’m just being dramatic, it’s fine.”

Now in the last two-ish weeks that I’ve been blessed with the pleasure to call Maraye my friend, I’ve picked up on quite a few habits of hers. One of which, being her ability to toss her feelings to the side as if they don’t matter. There’s probably nothing I hate more than that.

“No you’re not.” I sigh, looking back at her. “I’m sorry, but if he’s gonna be mad about how you react to how he’s made you feel instead of fixing it, then he ain’t the one for you, angel. You should find someone who is.”

—

June 2025 — Atlanta, Georgia

Paige’s words have hung over my head like a cloud over the last week.

I’ve made a great handful of friends since leaving Atlanta for LA, all of which I’d like to think have made huge impacts in my life, but none of which even compare to my friendship with Paige.

She’s amazing. Not a flaw in her Godsend personality. And not just in the building-a-grocery-store-in-her-hometown kinda way, but in literally every way imaginable. I laugh harder around her, she gives me amazing advice, and we just clicked almost instantly. It was so, different?

That’s probably the best word, different.

At first I thought it was admiration. I was a fan of hers and as such I felt a certain way about being friends with her. It felt good.

In reality, my idea couldn’t possibly be more far fetched.

I’ve never once questioned my sexuality. For me, my “normal” has just always been guys. There was never a girl friend of mine that made me feel a certain way, or a girl crush that was anything more than a brief fixation. So believe me when I say that how I feel about Paige— when she texts me, or calls to say she misses me, and especially when she calls me angel— that is far from my normal.

It all happened too fast, too much for me to process. I thought my connection with Julian was quick, I mean after a week I was all about him. But me and Paige? We clicked off of one conversation, maybe even the second she fell into my lap at the game. I have no idea how to feel about that.

So as a result, I haven’t spoken to her since that night in Dallas. It thought it would be simple, since it gave me the opportunity to focus on my shows and my career. Yet, all it has me doing is fucking missing her.

I’m seated on the couch in my dressing room backstage before my show in Atlanta. My thumb is hovering over the girl’s contact. Her contact photo stares back at me dangerously. It’s a photo of the two of us from Cameron’s dinner party, Paige’s nose is scrunched as she throws up a peace sign and I’m showing all 32 while throwing up one of my own.

I’m about to press the contact. I don’t know much but I assume she doesn’t have a game tonight, and all I want before going on stage is to hear her voice as she talks about literally anything.

I don’t care about how wrong it feels to be thinking about her in this way, or the fact that I should probably be on stage in less than 10 minutes. All I’m thinking about is Paige.

So yeah, I’m about to click on the dial button when the janky silver door knob twists open. I catch a peak at some royal blue flowers before all 6 feet and 3 inches of Julian steps through the door. My face doesn’t even try to mask its shock.

He looks handsome in his outfit. He always does. A white shirt with a black zip up hoodie along with jean shorts and a pair of Timbs. He’s gotten a haircut, I can tell from how clean his lineup is. His natural curls are pulled into cornrows down the back of his head.

It’s my first time seeing his face in a few days and in person since our awkward goodbye at LAX last week. Oh yeah, I haven’t spoken to him very much this past week either. Oddly enough, it was easier to do than with Paige.

When he steps closer, Julian hands me the flowers first before sitting next to me on the couch.

“What’re you doin’ here?” I ask incredulously. He pulls me into a hug from where we sit on the couch, cologne travels through the air and up into my nose. Dior Sauvage, I could point it out anywhere.

“I haven’t seen you in a minute.” Julian says. He leans into me and our lips connect softly, much different to the manner we’ve been treating one another with over the last couple weeks. Even then I don’t hesitate when I kiss him back. His lips feel so familiar, and they are because I haven’t felt them in quite some time. “Thought I should surprise you.” He mutters against my lips.

I pull away haphazardly, his eyes stare back into mine. Only this time it’s not as familiar, namely the fact that they aren’t big blue orbs that I swear dilate ever so slightly when they look at mine.

My feet lift me off the couch and over to the vanity. I place the flowers he gave me, roses, on the surface. “Sure did surprise me.” I joke. When I turn back around, with my hands pressed to the vanity chair behind me, Julian is manspreading slightly, the look on his face one that I call suggestive. “I have to be on stage in like… seven minutes.” I announce awkwardly with a glance to the gold watch on my wrist.

“So?”

“So, you have to get outta here and I have to finish up sound stuff.” I explain. My fingers fix the smeared lip gloss on my chin while I look down at him.

Julian stands up and approaches me, it’s times like this where I forget how tall he actually is. And the shoes on his feet give him another inch or two.

“What’s up wit’ you, babe? If you don’t want me here, I can go back to LA.” I don’t like the tone in his voice, mainly because it’s pointed as if he wants to say something to me but knows that it would upset me.

“What? No, I literally have to be on stage. You know how Kaylee gets.” I tell him. My hand reaches up for his tanned cheek and he doesn’t fight me off. I hear my phone ring in on the couch, but I can’t take it on stage with me so ignore it. It’s probably Kaylee cursing me out for being late.

Julian presses a kiss to my palm and I internally shudder. “You sure?” Just like that his tone is different. It’s the soft and deeper baritone that made me fall for him in the first place, not the aggressive accusatory voice I’ve become used to.

I nod. My mouth opens up to speak when I’m cut off by multiple bangs on the door before it swings open.

“Julian, I told you to wait until after the show. Raye we gotta go, now!” It’s Kaylee, as it always is. She reaches for my arm, which is bare due to my stylist's decision to fit me in a strapless top for tonight’s show. “You give me gray hairs, I swear.” She mumbles as she pulls me away from Julian.

In my head I’m silently thanking her for what I think was either Julian trying to have sex with me or him trying to start an argument about me not wanting to have sex with him. Either way I’m thankful.

As we leave, I hear my phone ring again from the couch. Julian reaches for it, and just before the door shuts I see him press a button and toss it back onto the couch.

It shouldn’t bother me because I have bigger priorities, namely the crowd of 10,000 people who paid money for this show. But still, it plays in the back of my mind while Kaylee scolds me and my sound manager fits the earpiece to my ear and puts the microphone in my hand.

[nyxi-pixie]

Hiiiii.

Sorry to bother you, I wanted to know if you had any fic recs? Your writing is so good and your tastes are immaculate, and I am starving for any kind of good content. Please?

its not possible to bother me love dw <3

NOW. i dont actually read all that much anymore bc i am horrendously picky but this does give me an excuse to hype up the few authors that have satisfied my unreasonably specific tastes 🤩.

so. a few bsd recs for you (except theyre 99% skk because im horribly predictable forever). everyone go read all of these and tell the authors how wonderful they are in the comments please <3

anything @booksandpaperss has ever written is genius work and everyone should read it. could talk abt all of their stuff for hours (and i have🤩 they put up w so much of me bothering them godbless). also our brains do some accidental crazy mind melding shit whenever either of us write fic so if you like any of my stuff you will like theirs. thats the rules. <3

like twin stars in the dark (we collide)- dead apple skk porn as a vehicle for 22skk analysis. makes me salivate i have read it so many times. they get 22skk better than anyone🙏

my lies are for you to keep (my love for you to lose) - the only take on beastskk that matters to me ever. you can actually see me losing my mind in the comment i wrote on this fic bc of how fucking insane every single line made me. theres SO much packed into this thing its fucking crazy i NEEEEED everyone to read it. thats all <3

till death, I'll give you my breath - dazai death timeloop. this fic terrifies me so much i await every update with my teeth chattering and my heart pulsing so rapidly i should be hospitalised. the first scene of chapter 2 genuinely had me on the verge of tears im unwell about it.

(elli also has some jjk stuff thats REALLYREALLY good and if ur into jjk u should check that out too.)

NOW. aside from being a propaganda machine for my fav writer ever. Heres some other stuff i love.

the second perspective by @wildflowerteas. murder mystery/detective noir stuff w some time fuckery. the au of all time. mashes aspects of beast, canon, and some extra special niko sauce into a mixing bowl and goes crazy w it. just Such a genuinely impressive piece of writing. i could talk abt the technical brilliance of it for hours but i will stop myself. you gotta commit to this thing because it WILL make u crazy. also i loveee the sskk. its like if we had the beast first meeting sskk forever. SOSO GOOD!!!!

did fate guide the gun or did you? by @kanetheo. i read this pretty soon after chapter 109 and it genuinely fried my brain for months. the writing style is beautiful (as for everything they write AUGHH!!!) and the angst is delectable. the way it intersperses more fun silly skk moments with just. complete misery. GOD. it just hits. ive reread it quite a few times and it never fails to make me go crazy. srsly cannot rec this enough.

the decomposition of dazai osamu by @hella1975 this shot several bullets through my brain and i still havent recovered. i keep thinking 'oh i should reread that' and then i dont bc some part of my brain still concerns itself w maintaining whats left of my sanity. BUT its crazy good and everyone should read it and suffer at least once. EVERYONE LOVES YOU OSAMU!!!! EVERYONE EATS YOU!!! line of all time lets all kill ourselves.

smoke held conversations by feralrookie - i havent reread this in a while but it does cool stuff with nlh and the skkisms are really good in this too. ppl often write teen chuuya as less intelligent than he actually is. hes very observant, esp of dazai, and this fic gave me that 🙏

i called your name til the fever broke by forest_raccoon - vampire chuuya. biting is involved. i blacked out reading it. enough said.

[the-mortuary-witch]

THE 9 SATANIC SINS AND THEIR MEANINGS

STUPIDITY: the top of the list for Satanic Sins, the Cardinal Sin. It's too bad that stupidity isn't painful. Ignorance is one thing, but our society thrives increasingly on stupidity. It depends people going along with whatever they are told. The media promotes a cultivated stupidity as a posture that is not only acceptable but laudable. One must learn to see through the tricks and cannot afford to be stupid.

PRETENTIOUSNESS: empty posturing can be most irritating and isn't applying the cardinal rules of Lesser Magic. On equal footing with stupidity for what keeps the money in circulation these days. Everyone's made to feel like a big shot, whether they can come up with the goods or not.

SOLIPSISM: can be very dangerous. Projecting your reactions, responses, and sensibilities onto someone who is probably far less attuned than you are. It is the mistake of expecting people to give you the same consideration, courtesy, and respect that you naturally give them. They won't. Instead, one must strive to apply the dictum of "Do unto others as they do onto you." It's work for most of us and requires constant vigilance lest you slip into a comfortable illusion of everyone being like you. As has been said, certain utopias would be ideal in a nation of philosophers , but unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately, from a Machiavellian standpoint) we are far from that point.

SELF-DECEIT: It's in the "Nine Satanic Statements" but deserves to be repeated here. We must not pay homage to any of the sacred cows presented to us, including the roles we are expecting to play ourselves. The only self-deceit should be entered into is when it's fun, and with awareness. But then, it's not self-deceit!

HERD CONFORMITY: it's all right to conform to a person's wishes, if it ultimately benefits you. But only fools follow along with the herd, letting an impersonated entity dictate to you. The key is to choose a master wisely instead of being enslaved by the whims of the many.

LACK OF PERSPECTIVE: again, this one can lead to a lot of pain. You must never lose sight of who and what you are, and what a threat you can be, by your very existence. We are making history right now, every day. Always keep the wider historical and social picture in mind. That is an important key to both Lesser and Greater Magic. See the patterns and fit things together as you want the pieces to fall into place. Do not be swayed by herd constraints—know that you are working on another level entirely from the rest of the world.

FORGETFULNESS OF PAST: be aware that this is one of the keys to brainwashing people into accepting something new and different, when in reality it's something that was once widely accepted but is now presented in a new package. We are expected to rave about the genius of the creator and forgot the original. This makes for a disposable society.

COUNTERPRODUCTIVE PRIDE: that first word is important. Pride is great up to the point you begin to throw out the baby with the bathwater. The rule of Satanism is: if it works for you, great. When it stops working for you, when you've painted yourself into a corner and the only way out is to say, I'm sorry, I made a mistake, I wish we could compromise somehow, then do it.

LACK OF AESTHETICS: this is the physical application of the Balance Factor. Aesthetics is important in Lesser Magic and should be cultivated. It is obvious that no one can collect any money off classical standards of beauty and form most of the time so they are discouraged in a consumer society, but an eye for beauty, for balance, is an essential tool and must be applied for greatest magical effectiveness. It's not what's supposed to be pleasing—it's what is. Aesthetics is a personal thing, reflective of one's own nature, but there are universally pleasing and harmonious configurations that should not be denied.

[pacific-rimbaud]

i was reading your thoughts on how fans felt about l&oha and while i concur it is a perfect piece of work in my head and have reread it 5x, i wonder if you think fans tend to be harsher/more critical of hermione and let draco slide? i see it a lot in fics where he's more of an alphahole type

Oh, man. Okay. The can is open, the worms are loose. Rant under the cut.

I'm actually going to set men aside entirely. Just. To the side with you. I desperately need more realistically complicated men, too, but that's a whole separate discussion. Right now: women.

There must be whole dissertations out there on the phenomenon of readers hating female characters with negative traits. I'm a fandom old, so I didn't grow up identifying with Hermione, and wouldn't have even if I'd been young enough to. I did that "which character are you" test just now and my top three matches were Janis Ian from Mean Girls, Jughead from Riverdale and April from Parks and Rec, which, massive grain of salt, etc. BUT gives you an idea. I am not a Hermione and never was, so she's never been a comfort character or self-insert for me. Some of my favorite fictional women are Sophie Hatter (mean, irrational, petty, old and mostly loving it), Harrowhark Nonagesimus (evil stick), Phryne Fisher (zero fucks to give). What I like about Hermione is how imperfect she is. I'm a "cleverest witch of your age I've ever met" truther (book!Lupin is absolutely saying "you're the canniest 14 year-old child I have personally met, saying this as a guy who doesn't get out much," not "you are a once-in-a-century genius"), and from my perspective, she's often wrong and often a dick, and not in a fun and fiesty burn-down-the-world BAMF way. Which. Good for her! Be human.

And that's the thing. I personally don't want Hermione to be perfect, I want her to be what I think she is, textually, which is intelligent, hardworking, loyal, competitive, compassionate, controlling, belittling, rude, petty, insecure, vindictive, volatile. She has the right to be that way, because she's human. The desire for perfected women (or unapologetically and unstoppably awful ones, another brand of female power fantasy) is not limited to Dramione fandom. I think it's amplified in DHr by many readers who DO identify as former gifted children, books-as-coping-mechanism kids and Strong Female Personalities who felt marginalized in childhood and want to see Hermione have it all: she's slim, she's tiny, she's fragile as a bird, she'll break your neck, she'll step on your throat, she'll tear down the system, she'll heal all wounds, she does not need help, she holds all the knowledge, she holds all the cards, she is forever wronged, she can do no wrong, her vagina is tight, her nipples are hard, her hair is on point, her waist is tiny, her tits are bouncing, her ass is in the style of Now. And like. This isn't at all unique to DHr and Hermione. It's pervasive in fiction written by and for women. Female power fantasies are obviously feeding a massive hunger. It's just not what I personally want. Personally, I find it alienating and uncomfortable, which I know equates to, "That is wrong and shouldn't exist" to a lot of people, but that's its own tale as old as time.

There's a disconnect that happens too often where a reader wants one (1) thing from their fiction, and receives something else, even when the contents are clearly labeled on the tin. In this case, wanting a female power fantasy and encountering a woman who's written with flaws makes people upset. And maybe if we could be more honest with ourselves about what we're looking for when we read, work to accept that not everyone wants the same experience, and learn to close a book when it's not working for us and say, "No shade, this isn't for me," it would be less upsetting when we encounter a character who isn't written to meet our personal expectations. I will open a book, realize the FMC is a female power fantasy archetype and close it, because that's not what I show up for. I like my women gritty and weird and foolish and vulnerable and liable to hurt people and feel terrible about it. Give me all the exhausting chatterers and evil sticks and jocks with swords and their hearts on their sleeves (their hearts ripped out), give me shy Anne Elliot and her suitcase full of regrets and the ugly fuckup who never has a glow up, give me dirtbag stoners and Fleabag and Alicent Hightower apologetics and every role Natasha Lyon has ever played. It's not a moral high ground, it's about a preference for seeing actual, demeritus flaws on the page and on the screen. Blame that woman. It's her fault. She has so many faults. Then show me how to forgive her so I can figure out how to forgive myself.

The thing is, I love women. I love women so fucking much. I want to be around them, to get to know them, to read about them, to watch them on TV and see them in films. And personally, I like them ugly. Physically. Spiritually. Morally. Give a woman a Bad Personality and watch her succeed in the most self-injurious way possible, fuck you. Give her a gaping chest wound and line it with teeth. Stick a piece of grit in that girl's tightly sealed shell so that a pearl is her only option. Make her love other women, make her fuck it up, make her have to earn them back.

Thankfully I do feel like we're getting more ugly women in fiction, especially BIPOC, queer and marginalized women who deserve gross, weird, nasty representation and not just didactic moralism, patronization and misguided sainthood. Some readers won't want that, and that's fine. Again, personally (it's all so personal, please, please remember that when you hit that comment button), I'm here for it. If you write about women like this, know that you have a thirsty reader here. I'm swallowing them up. I'm smacking my lips. I'm smashing my mug on the cafeteria floor and calling for another.

[chororine]

let's talk about Cubert Farnsworth

something nobody said during the production of season 7

The most striking thing about Cubert, to me, is the fact that in the most literal sense possible, he had no childhood.

Well, no early childhood – in “A Clone of My Own”, we see Cubert spring into existence as a fully-formed twelve-year-old, having only previously existed in a “mentally undeveloped” state in a tank in Professor Farnsworth’s basement. This is obviously convenient from a writing standpoint, allowing Futurama’s showrunners to introduce a new character effectively out of nowhere (their original plan to do so in “A Big Piece of Garbage” having fallen through) – but I think it also explains a lot about Cubert from an in-universe perspective, and makes an interesting lens through which to view one of the show’s most divisive characters.

Generally speaking, we as viewers are used to meeting characters and then witnessing their backstory, either all at once or in small chunks scattered across episodes - Futurama itself goes as far back as Fry, Leela and Bender’s births in seasons 3, 4 and 3 respectively – but Cubert is in the unique position of his “birth” (so to speak) also being his introduction to the audience. While most of that audience simply brushed that character off as “annoying” and that was the writers’ intention according to the audio commentary for his debut episode, I want to set authorial intent aside for now and focus strictly on what the text shows us: someone who was artificially created for a specific purpose, like Bender, raised without a traditional family, like Leela, and who entered the world of the 31st century through a glass tube, like Fry.

Despite having a surprising amount in common with our three main heroes, Cubert is markedly different from them in his actual personality, which (at first) is driven largely by reason and logical sense, and that… well, makes logical sense. As with most of the sci-fi concepts Futurama employs in the service of good stories and jokes, the show glosses over the finer details of how Cubert can emerge from the cloning tank with all his motor skills and the ability to form sentences, but it’s reasonable to assume that whatever arcane scientific process the Professor used prioritises imbuing the clone with concrete knowledge over anything subjective. Cubert’s behaviour corroborates this: the very first piece of knowledge he displays is (in a quiet subversion of cloning tropes) self-knowledge, namely the knowledge that he’s a genius.

ok so the park line isn’t strictly relevant but cmon you can’t quote this scene without it

Cubert’s approach to suddenly springing to life with a ready-made body and personality is to engage with the adults around him head-on: said personality is pompous, pedantic and pugnacious (...as in “confrontational”, not as in a crack about his nose). He struts into Planet Express like he owns the place (which, of course, he will one day) right in the middle of season 2, the point where it’s safe to say the audience and characters (even fish-out-of-water Fry) have both adjusted to the show’s status quo: Professor Farnsworth can create anything as long as it’s funny or convenient to the plot (or both); Bender is an integral part of the “family”; Leela can beat up anyone who deserves it. But Cubert, who was abruptly thrust into the midst of that status quo, relentlessly questions it: how exactly would scientists “increase the speed of light”? What use would a delivery company have for a bending unit? Should Leela really fly with just one eye? Audiences and characters alike generally like sticking to the status quo (as this ever self-aware show pointed out back in “When Aliens Attack”), so it’s really no wonder Cubert rubbed people on both sides of the fourth wall the wrong way.

you know someone’s being insufferable when not even Turanga “it’s not his fault he’s an unstoppable killing machine” Leela likes them lol. believe it or not this IS a pro-Cubert post stick with me here

Questioning established norms is no bad thing, but the way Cubert goes about it is very... blunt, and far from endearing: he’s dismissive of the Professor’s “junk heap” of inventions and viciously mocks the Planet Express crew, painting people he’s only just met as incompetent and, later in the episode, calling Fry an idiot to his face. Make no mistake, this is… as we say in my neck of the woods, it’s not on. But while Cubert’s lack of socialisation “growing up" doesn’t excuse his tactlessness, it might very well explain it - along with him lacking the childlike wonder his fellow suspended animation survivor, Fry, felt at being thrust headlong into a world where the only limit to science is imagination. To use the episode’s Arc Words, “nothing is impossible”... except, it would seem, Cubert fitting in with the misfits who make up Planet Express.

Professor Farnsworth is eager to take Cubert under his wing, but also demonstrates where the latter gets that bluntness, being transparent about his intent to have his clone “spend his life finishing his inventions”. With that in mind, perhaps it’s not surprising that Cubert initially attempts to distance himself from the Professor, coldly referring to him as… well, “Professor”.

This is a detail that’s easy to miss or overlook on first viewing of the episode, but it effortlessly and efficiently explains what kind of relationship between the two Cubert initially desired: he acknowledges that they share DNA, but would prefer a “creator-creation” dynamic – perhaps akin to a robot and their maker - over anything familial. He states his disinterest in fulfilling his intended purpose as an inventor without a trace of the self-doubt that plagued Bender upon quitting his job and meeting Fry (or in the face of being replaced by a more up-to-date robot, or of being forgotten, or…), creating the impression that Cubert has a good deal more confidence and self-awareness than even an adult in a similar position to him, but also that he’s – let’s be fair to him – a complete dick, pointedly declaring himself the Professor’s “only half-decent invention”.

But as is often the case in fiction, that complete dickery serves a purpose in creating the catalyst for the episode’s fast-paced third act: the dejected Professor checking himself into cyber-retirement. In a perfect example of the characters’ recently-found comfort with the status quo, Fry immediately expresses a desire to rescue his boss who causes him more problems than he solves (what with the potentially fatal delivery missions and all), but who’s also family - a sentiment his non-blood relatives, or at least Leela, seem to share.

The only person at Planet Express who questions this desire is - who else - Cubert, but Fry brushes off his concerns with a well-placed “nothing is impossible” (the episode’s second use of the phrase). As an implicit reminder of Cubert’s status as a misfit among misfits, he, as a child character among a cast of adults, lacks the agency to avoid getting dragged along on the rescue mission for reasons that aren’t initially clear, to him or the audience.

It turns out Cubert’s purpose on the trip to the Near Death Star is to be both a DNA donor and part of Fry’s 160-year-old man disguise. Our three heroes do most of the heavy lifting (literally in Fry’s case), relegating Cubert to what he initially does best: complaining. While he does express a bit of (at this point) uncharacteristic concern for the comatose Professor, it comes after he airs his grievances about the ridiculousness of Leela’s plan, having to be Fry’s hump and the “stupid robot” – so maybe it’s a bit of well-placed karma that he gets knocked out mid-chase scene by a passing space station door, neatly excising him from the episode’s narrative.

...or so it would seem: in reality, the episode’s final two scenes circle right back to Cubert and his character arc. He springs awake to deliver the episode’s third and final “nothing is impossible”, having finally internalised the truth of it - and the secret of how to fix the ship’s damaged engines - thanks to a conveniently-timed dream (a borderline deus ex machina that may be an allusion to Groening and Cohen’s inspiration for Cubert, Wesley Crusher of Star Trek: The Next Generation – I did say at the beginning I was going to set authorial intent aside “for now”). Despite this apparent 180, Cubert demonstrates that he’s still fundamentally himself by shooting down Bender’s labelling of his discovery about the ship’s engines as “a complete load”. Evidently, Cubert’s nocturnal, almost divine revelation enabled him to use his sharp tongue for good rather than evil, as this discovery and Cubert’s quick repair of the engine is what allows the main trio and Farnsworths to safely escape from the Sunset Squad.

The episode’s conclusion uses a few well-chosen words and pieces of animated-acting to bring many aspects of Cubert’s character full circle. Most obvious among these is the conflict of whether or not he’ll fulfil his intended purpose; the Professor granting Cubert permission not to is a noble but ironic gesture, as the latter admits to having accepted his destiny, but only on his terms: not as a copy, but as a family member. Futurama, at its best, is masterful at showing and not telling; for instance, because Cubert initially addressed his creator as “Professor”, him switching to “Dad” completely unprompted feels like a display of agency as well as love.

And because Cubert had no childhood, him smiling with his whole face for the first time in the episode also marks him doing so for the first time in his life.

Let’s take a brief step back outside the text itself and look at it in relation to the various reactions viewers have had to it, because the episode’s resolution is something that… well, viewers have had varying reactions to. Looking up the episode on Wikipedia, you’ll find a citation of The A.V. Club’s review: one Zach Handlen wasn’t a fan, claiming that “[Cubert’s] shift from “This is stupid and doesn’t make any sense” to “Anything is possible!” doesn’t make a lot of sense”. YouTuber Johnny 2 Cellos seemed to enjoy the episode and Cubert’s character considerably more, but still said of Cubert’s decision to follow in his father’s footsteps that he’s “not sure [it] was the best lesson” - and honestly, they both raise valid points. Cubert’s change of heart is rather abrupt, and a step removed from the typical feel-good narrative of choosing your own destiny and becoming whatever you want… but nonetheless, I do think it’s a plus for his character, and to explain why I need to go back to the very first episode of the show.

The aforementioned “choosing your own destiny” narrative is so prevalent that Futurama itself has played with it from the beginning – and I do mean “played with”, not “used wholesale”. This is, of course, a fantastical show, but it always keeps a degree of emotional realism close to its heart; part of that realism is Fry’s one-way trip into the future not being the straightforward wish fulfilment he initially expected, as his new life still involves having a job, and it’s nominally the same dead-end job he once longed to escape. But Fry isn’t resigned to this: instead, he accepts the hand the universe has dealt him and makes it work for him…

…in fact, the theme of accepting one’s fate on one’s own terms is a theme that runs through Futurama all the way to the end of the original run.

And right in the middle of that run lies Cubert, perfectly exemplifying that nuanced theme with little more than the word “Dad.”

That choice to – again - show and not tell the change in how Cubert views his creator-father is something that I feel mitigates the suddenness of his change of outlook: wanting to emulate one’s father is a different feeling than wanting to emulate one’s creator, and a very human feeling... as is having sudden, eye-opening experiences in one’s preteen years. Cubert’s arc in this episode could be seen as a microcosm of growing up, and as a story of someone who thought he knew everything realising he still has growing up to do… and about a season later, we get to see him do some of that growing up.

Much like Cubert himself was initially intended as one thing and grew into another (on both meta and in-universe levels), I started this post with the intent to analyse him as a character but it ended up more focused on “A Clone of My Own” specifically – I might as well continue on this path and analyse “The Route of All Evil” as well. However, I don’t feel the need to do so quite so meticulously simply because Cubert is a far more straightforward character in the latter episode - and that in itself speaks volumes about what’s going on under that ginger muffin-shaped haircut.

This episode provides an explanation of Cubert’s absence throughout the second half of season 2, a glimpse into the life he’s been living off-screen at boarding school and something any good character needs: a companion to bounce off of. Dwight has less distinct characterisation than Cubert (partly as a result of having one less episode worth of development at this point), but I do think what he does have is worth analysing. I won’t do so too deeply, at least not here, simply because it’d be outside the scope of this post, but I will touch on the aspects that are relevant to my point: the ways in which he complements and contrasts Cubert.

Cubert and Dwight are similar in their intellect, precociousness, love of retro video games (really retro by the year 3002) and in being besieged by a bully, but the latter is less talkative and more chilled-out (as exemplified by him having no visible reaction to his best friend being sent flying by a mail tube), yet more business-minded: his immediate reaction to being presented with something new (always a fun way to tell us about a character) is to question its value as a product… while Cubert’s reaction to the same new thing is to use it for a prank.

As he demonstrated with Bender at the end of “A Clone of My Own”, Cubert hasn’t lost his fire in gaining respect for his father’s line of work: again, him addressing the Professor as “Dad” says a lot with few words, and remembering the context of his debut episode makes his “useless contraption” comment feel more like playful ribbing than genuine dismissal. Indeed Cubert spends much of the first act of this episode causing annoying-but-ultimately-harmless problems for the adults around him, along with Dwight, who evidently shares his interest in pranks. That interest of his wasn’t explicitly shown in his debut, but feels like a natural offshoot of his sarcastic sense of humour... and could also be chalked up to the change from the ultimate sheltered upbringing to a “normal” school environment. That in itself is a refreshing approach for the show to take: while probably done for simplicity’s sake, it shows that Cubert’s clone status is no barrier to him enjoying a normal childhood, as Leela’s orphan status was to her, or Bender’s robot status sometimes is to him sharing his adulthood with his organic friends (but the specifics of Cubert’s school life are more within the realm of speculation and headcanons, so I won’t dwell on them here).

Of course, the main thrust of “The Route of All Evil”’s plot is Cubert and Dwight’s business endeavour: Awesome Express. Again, I don’t need to analyse their motivations for founding their own delivery company too closely, because… well, Dwight outright states them in the episode.

Most people can relate, on some level, to wanting a loved one to be proud of them; a desire so universal is a perfect demonstration of Cubert’s newfound normality. It’s a sharp turn from his apparent superiority complex over his father and future employees in “A Clone of My Own”, but clearly one that made him happier: the permanent smug grin of his debut episode has given way to laughter at Hermes’ expense, casually sharing Dwight’s game console, celebrating their victory over Brett Blob (or rather his window)… I could list more, but you get the point. Enjoying the childhood that started twelve years too late without really dwelling on it feels like a natural evolution from where we left Cubert in season 2 – but not a wholesale change, as he still possesses the spark of madness he inherited from his father.

In the process of running Awesome Express, Cubert and Dwight make both upstanding and underhanded decisions: they have the prodigious business skills to quickly become more profitable than Planet Express, and rather than frivolously spending their earnings, they put them towards fair wages for their new employees Leela, Bender and Fry… and the absolutely vital flame decals for the ship.

Not all their decisions are that ethically sound or badass, though: Cubert and Dwight ultimately kick out and fire their fathers, respectively. Professor Farnsworth becoming homeless (though Hermes and LaBarbara are willing to at least temporarily put him up) as a result of his son’s hubris is another time I can see where Cubert’s haters are coming from, along with his moments of ableism directed at Leela’s vision problems and Fry’s… er, That Brain Thing – but karma swiftly comes down upon him and Dwight when they grow overconfident with their workload, leading to the first time we see Cubert cry on-screen (one of only two unambiguously canon times in the entire show) and the aforementioned admission of their motivations.

Luckily for the boys, their fathers recognise the purity of their motivations enough to forgive them for their questionable behaviour, and are quick to “do a little father-son weaselling out of this”. Professor Farnsworth and Hermes prove their love for their sons with actions, not words, solving their problem with the former’s arsenal of gadgets and the latter’s perfect aim as a “paper-man”... and ultimately put themselves through the ringer by attempting to fight the father of their sons’ bully, Mr. H. G. Blob. This one-sided “fight” results in slapstick humour, but also a show of Futurama’s emotional realism shining through its often cynical sensibilities.

This episode’s ending focuses more on “three fathers, enjoying a day out with their sons” as a group than Cubert or Dwight as individuals, but that in itself is a nice way to bring this duology of episodes full circle: Cubert is Professor Farnsworth’s son, no different from how Dwight and Brett are Hermes and H.G.’s sons. Perhaps he does fit into the abnormal, non-traditional family that is Planet Express after all.

fun fact: “Planet Espresso” dropped while I was still writing this post and it made “The Route of All Evil” hit different now I know Hermes in particular was working extra hard to end the cycle of parental neglect. not relevant to the whole “Cubert good” point but still interesting, at least to me

Now, you’re probably thinking that this is the part where I talk about “Bender Should Not Be Allowed On TV”, and… yeah. You’re technically right, I will briefly touch on it – but it won’t be complimentary.

Someone being “out of character” is a common complaint when it comes to TV show writing, but I’ll be completely honest: in my opinion, having Cubert, a character whose whole deal used to be questioning the status quo and authority figures (and in “The Route of All Evil” trying to surpass them), open the episode by admitting he and his equally precocious best friend want to mindlessly emulate what they see on TV goes beyond “out of character”. Cubert and Dwight’s intellectual-yet-rebellious nature would’ve served this plot perfectly, as it would’ve provided an opportunity for the writers to call attention to them not acting like themselves as a result of Bender’s influence – but the key gap between idea and execution is that the adults around them don’t treat their mindless viewing habits as something out of the ordinary for them. A simple “this isn’t like you” from the Professor or Hermes would’ve gone a long way, but as it is, it feels as though the boys’ past characterisation was intentionally ignored in order to more easily execute a storyline that could’ve been done in The Simpsons, with Bart and Milhouse succumbing to the allure of a newly-famous Homer’s bad influence.

In particular, the line “we can celebrate the day I extracted you from the cloning tank” kind of breaks my brain: we’ve seen that day in the show, and the more I go back to this episode, the more I feel like there’s nothing left of the Cubert the Professor extracted from the cloning tank – the one I just spent five pages analysing - in this specific Cubert (or the Dwight who crushed Planet Express with Dwight Lightning in this Dwight, for that matter). No scientific skills, no use of his trademark snort, no biting-but-good-natured jabs at his adult companions… nothing. To be fair, the episode does have a few nice ideas (the concept of a Growth Scraping Day itself, Tinny Tim becoming the third member of the kids’ friend group and them getting to do a little crime as a treat), but they’re so thoroughly surrounded by… well, everything else that I personally choose not to incorporate this episode into my mental picture of Cubert (or Dwight).

I’ll be the first to admit there are a lot of duds and weird writing choices among the post-revival episodes of Futurama, but I also think fans of the show have a tendency to put the Fox era on a pedestal while completely dismissing the later seasons - even though “Bender Should Not Be Allowed On TV” (along with “Bend Her” but that’s a rant for another time) proves that even season 4, often touted as the show’s peak, can be as guilty of bad characterisation or formulaic plots as the Comedy Central or Hulu eras. Conversely, season 6 in particular was flawed but did plenty of things right, and one of those things was using Cubert in interesting ways: “The Late Philip J. Fry” is the most famous example, but “A Clockwork Origin” and “Overclockwise” are both notable for succeeding at building on the foundation laid out in “A Clone of My Own” and “The Route of All Evil” - where Cubert’s last outing of the original run failed.

Whether that foundation was laid down intentionally or simply as a compromise between multiple creators, writers and directors that happened to meet a particular subjective reading, to me it’s an incredibly strong one: a fish-out-of-water who was abruptly thrust into the chaotic world of the 31st century but survives and thrives in his own funny, interesting, slightly unhinged way, just like Fry, Leela or Bender. Cubert isn’t for everyone, but I hope I’ve demonstrated why he resonated with me so much when I watched the show at his age, and why thinking of him as simply “the annoying kid” was… well, impossible.

This post is long enough as it is, so rather than analysing “The Late Philip J. Fry” (well, enough people have analysed that one already that I don’t really need to) and the two “clock” episodes of season 6, I’ll leave you with the suggestion to (re)-watch them yourself with an open mind… and to keep an eye out for Cubert in the Hulu run. As I alluded to at the top of this post, season 7 conspicuously pretended he didn’t exist outside of one dubiously canon skit, so maybe it’d be too much to hope for future seasons to explore him in detail… but as a wise old man and his son once said, nothing is impossible.

Not if you can imagine it.

THANK YOU FOR READING (or at least skimming) ALL THE WAY TO THE END OF THIS POST!!! as a reward for indulging my autism please treat yourself to a nice turducken spread with your found family. merry hulurama to all and to all a good night

[onlycosmere]

I wasn’t going to say anything about it because, frankly, I regularly read much better criticism of Brandon Sanderson on tumblr.

However, Brandon responded to that Wired article, so I’ll share his response with you all.

Brandon Sanderson:

All,

I appreciate the kind words and support.

Not sure how, or if, I should respond to the Wired article. I get that Jason, in writing it, felt incredibly conflicted about the fact that he finds me lame and boring. I’m baffled how he seemed to find every single person on his trip--my friends, my family, my fans--to be worthy of derision.

But he also feels sincere in his attempt to try to understand. While he legitimately seems to dislike me and my writing, I don't think that's why he came to see me. He wasn't looking for a hit piece--he was looking to explore the world through his writing. In that, he and I are the same, and I respect him for it, even if much of his tone seems quite dismissive of many people and ideas I care deeply about.

The strangest part for me is how Jason says he had trouble finding the real me. He says he wants something true or genuine. But he had the genuine me all that time. He really did. What I said, apparently, wasn't anything he found useful for writing an article. That doesn't make it not genuine or true.

I am not offended that the true me bores him. Honestly, I'm a guy who enjoys his job, loves his family, and is a little obsessive about his stories. There's no hidden trauma. No skeletons in my closet. Just a guy trying to understand the world through story. That IS kind of boring, from an outsider's perspective. I can see how it is difficult to write an article about me for that reason.

But at the same time, I’m worried about the way he treats our entire community. I understand that he didn’t just talk about me, but about you. As has been happening to fantasy fans for years, the general attitude of anyone writing about us is that we should be ashamed for enjoying what we enjoy. In that, the tone feels like it was written during the 80s. “Look at these silly nerds, liking things! How dare they like things! Don’t they know the thing they like is dumb?”

As a community, let’s take a deep breath. It’s all right. I appreciate you standing up for me, but please leave Jason alone. This might feel like an attack on us, on you, but it’s not. Jason wrote what he felt he needed--and as a writer, he is my colleague. Please show him respect. He should not be attacked for sharing his feelings. If we attack people for doing so, we make the world a worse place, because fewer people will be willing to be their authentic selves.

That said, let me say one thing. You, my friends, are not boring or lame. In Going Postal, one of my favorite novels, Sir Terry Pratchett has a character fascinated by collecting pins. Not pins like you might think--they aren't like Disney pins, or character pins. They are pins like tacks used to pin things to walls. Outsiders find it difficult to understand why he loves them so much. But he does.

In the book, pins are a stand-in for collecting stamps, but also a commentary on the way we as human beings are constantly finding wonder in the world around us. That is part of what makes us special. The man who collects those pins--Stanley Howler--IS special. In part BECAUSE of his passion. And the more you get to know him, or anyone, the more interesting you find them. This is a truism in life. People are interesting, every one of them--and being a writer is about finding out why.

In that way, the ability to make Stanley interesting is part of what makes Pratchett a genius, in my opinion. That's WRITING. Not merely using words. It’s what I aspire to be able to do. People are wonderful, fascinating, brilliant balls of walking contradiction, passion, and beauty. I find it an exciting challenge to make certain that the perspective of the washwoman or the monk sitting and reading a book is as interesting in a story as that of the king or the tech-mogul.

And I find value in you. Your passion for my work is a big part of why I write. You make my life special. Thank you.

(NOTE: I do want to make it clear, again that I bear Jason no ill will. I like him. Please leave him alone. He seems to be a sincere man who tried very hard to find a story, discovered that there wasn't one that interested him, then floundered in trying to figure out what he could say to make deadline. I respect him for trying his best to write what he obviously found a difficult article.

He’s a person, remember, just like each of us.)

[anemoiashifts]

persistence, the self concept & phrasing in reality shifting. (& manifesting).

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚.

i brushed on this a few posts ago & wanted to expand upon it. what you need to understand, you are not trying to convince yourself that you have shifted or have manifested something. you already have your desire. you don’t need to think about how or when your going to shift because you already have.

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚.

“Creation is finished…all that you have & will ever be — in fact, all that mankind ever was or ever will be, exists now.”

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚.

when you’re trying to convince yourself, what people tend to do is look for exterior confirmations instead of looking inward. if this is you, you don’t have that sense of knowing & are depending on the 3d to validate your desires. you’re waiting until you see those sublimonal results. you’re waiting until you see your desired reality bedroom. you’re waiting until you’re offered that position you’ve been wanting. the mistake you’re making is that “waiting period”.

before i go any further, i acknowledge doubts are normal. in fact , i struggle to believe in shifting & im not saying you have to 1000% believe in your ability every second. i did a survey on people who have shifted vs people who haven’t shifted yet & it came out that there was no really no difference between the two. while this may not be everyone’s case, this information can still benefit.

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚.

♡ persist.

to persist means to push through something even through challenge. in this case, it’s until your desired outcome materializes. if you’re willing to be persistent in the feelings that you’ve received your manifestations, you’ve pretty much finished half the battle.

i see this sometimes on the r/subliminal subreddit. someone makes a post saying “ive been listening to ___ sub for a while & i haven’t gotten results”. then, someone asks op “how long have you been using it?” to which the original poster says “i month on and off.” subliminals work different for everyone, yes, but consistently & making sure you don’t fall out of “the wish fulfilled” mindset is so so important. that’s apart of persistence.

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚.

♡ self concept.

“Healthy, wealth, beauty & genius are not created; they are manifested by the arrangement of your mind — that is by the concept of yourself.”

how one views yourself does play a part. a while ago i saw someone say something along the lines of “shifting is my only escape from this life”. while i felt for that person, that mindset may be holding that person back. manifestations are able to materialize from that internal sense of knowing. all manifestation is, is the 3d mirroring your inner world — what you already know. if your constantly thinking negative, you will notice more things “wrong” with yourself, the world. your brain is only conforming what you already know as your body likes to be proven right.

if you have a higher, more positive, outlook on yourself, in turn the world will become a more positive place. an example, let’s say if you live your life smiling at everyone you see on the street. chances are you’ll get smiles back at you in return because you smiled rather then if you didn’t. the world has become a more positive place for you.

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚.

♡ self talk.

“I will (be) is a confession that I am not”.

this ties into mindset & self concept. you are making assumptions based on past experiences & patterns. you don’t see your dr around you, so logically, you think you haven’t shifted.

this plays on our assumptions. if you’ve been trying to shift for a long time without “success” it’s no surprise you may feel that trying to shifting is hopeless because you will not shift, based on prior experiences.

for example, 2+2=?

you probably just said “4” in your head because that’s what you’ve been taught & thus have just made an assumption.

comparing this to saying things like “i am ugly” or “i am bad at singing” you believe that to be true about yourself through experience or perspective. our experiences shape us. if we can get a hold of our outlook of our experiences we can change our perception & re-shape those memories to be a positive; to find the good that might have come out of it.

when applying this to shifting, looking at every “failed” shifting attempt as “i am one more night/day closer to my desired reality” or “another version of myself shifted & tomorrow night i am shifting tonight.”

changing your self concept & perception of past experiences, without making assumptions, begins with self talk & being aware of how we speak to ourselves everyday.

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚.

[gabessquishytum]

Dream desperately wants to begin a relationship with Hob, but recognizes that what often killed his past relationships is that he went too fast and too hard, and doesn’t want to make the same mistake here. He also recognizes that he is maybe just a tad traumatized from Burgess and the fishbowl, and that he could freak himself out with the physical aspect if he’s not careful (talking with Lucienne and Hob and even Matthew has done wonders for his self-awareness)

So he decides to kill two birds with one stone with a kind of exposure therapy, getting himself used to human touch in small doses and making sure he goes slow enough to not scare Hob off. First light brushes of the hand, then moving up to handholding, then hugs, kisses on the cheek, then full kisses and cuddles. He’s quite impressed with his own progress, he’s come pretty far in only a month or two if he does say so himself.

Of course, the master of communication over here completely forgot about step one and never even told Hob what he was doing or that they were in fact starting a relationship, so from Hob’s perspective the touching (and subsequent kissing) is coming out of nowhere.

He’s managed to deduce the “Dream is reintroducing himself to physical touch after trauma” part, but has convinced himself that it’s all platonic on Dream’s part, that Dream needed a friend he could trust not to take advantage during this process (even if that friend is secretly head over heels in love and the process is severely testing him). He hasn’t said anything about it and doesn’t plan to out of fear that if he draws attention to it he’ll spook Dream and cause him to backslide, so he’ll do his damndest to endure and not let his feelings fuck this up.

So at a certain point we have Dream sliding into Hob’s lap, giving him a long and deep kiss, with wildly different understandings of what’s happening

Hob (internally): keep it together, don’t read too much into this, he must not understand the human romantic connotations, boner for the love of god get out of here, he needs a friend right now remember that—

Dream (internally): this is awesome. I still have a boyfriend I haven’t scared off yet and now I can make out with him without any issues. I’m a genius. I think on our next date I’ll be ready to take our shirts off.

(Gotta love idiots-to-lovers, they probably won’t talk and clear things up until Dream decides to reach for Hob’s dick)

-🪽anon

I love it. They're so fucking stupid.

Hob is DEFINITELY nervous about initiating conversations about feelings, seeing as how it all went down last time. He's promised himself that they friendship is going to work on Dream’s terms, and he's going to follow Dream’s lead without exception. He is deeply confused by Dream’s sudden desire to touch, to hold hands, to kiss... but he's not adverse to any of it. He mirrors everything that Dream wants, never pushes the boundaries, never tries to ask questions.

And none of this is inherently a problem. But. Dream is out here thinking that he's getting a good grade in boyfriend. And it's fine! Hob would be quite happy to go on with this forever. He loves holding Dream on his lap, holding hands with him, going on their cute little "dates" together. He wants Dream to continuing expressing himself and he's happy to follow along one step behind.

And then. Dream does touch his dick.

Hob immediately requests time out. He quickly explains that he's not saying no, he's just... he needs a minute. Dream’s mind is spiralling a bit (this is the first bump in the road in his journey of dating Hob), but he tries to keep calm. He lets Hob breathe.

Hob rests his forehead on Dream’s shoulder and tries to get a handle on himself. He can feel Dream’s pulse fluttering under his skin. He reaches out and squeezes Dream’s hands and its in that moment that everything begins to make some kind of sense.

He looks up at Dream and smiles and he's like... "we're boyfriends, aren't we?" And Dream nods cautiously, and Hob laughs. He's obviously not laughing at Dream so Dream laughs too. Hob kisses him and its like their first time all over again.

They don't end up doing anything below clothes that night. Hob explains, gently and carefully, that he's only just realised that they're a couple so Dream says they should at least go to dinner first. Fortunately Dream is able to see the funny side, because he realises that either way, Hob really does love him. And always has.

And when they eventually do fuck, it's the best exposure therapy that Dream could ever have wished for. He feels so totally and completely safe covered by Hob’s warm body. It's not like being naked at all. It's just love and pleasure. He promises himself in that moment that he's going to start talking to Hob properly. Communicating about their relationship isn't going to break anything, in fact it can only make them stronger.

The more he talks to Hob, the more he realises that at last, he actually really IS being a good boyfriend. And he finally feels just a tiny bit proud of himself.

[mayday-jd]

alr I lied I gotta talk about smth else quickly

• so remember when I mentioned branch's reaction to the country song when they entered lonesome flats??

yeah now let's talk about how poppy reacted

poppy hears the song then concludes that the country trolls are miserable and don't know how to have fun

and what better way to make them have fun?? force them to listen to pop music.

cough cough barb parallels COUGH

ofc that doesn't work the country trolls are appalled by their pop medley

all of them... except for hickory

I think poppy was drawn to hickory because he was the only one that seemed to along with what she had to say without any complaints basically he said what she wanted to hear so she trusted him wholeheartedly

now let's actually get into my favorite part of this movie

• I LOVE THE FUNK TROLLS HOLY FUCKING SHIT

I don't think you need a genius to figure out that these are black folks LIKE LOOK AT THEM AND LISTEN TO THE QUEEN ESSENCE

guys the vas of the royal funk family are all black. ik maybe doesn't mean anything BUT MAYBE IT DOES ALR

anyways no matter what race the funk trolls may be they still play such an important role in this movie and let me tell y'all why and how

thru their encounter with the funk trolls, our pop trolls duo (yeah biggie left) learn three important things :

- differences do matter, they're a part of our identity and it would be wrong to ignore them

- even with those differences and origins, trolls still can be multiple/different things (ex.: cooper who says that he's pop AND funk, prince d who identifies as a hip pop troll which is not on poppy's outdated ass map)

- yeah that story poppy heard from the pop trolls' perspective?? yeah no that's not how it actually happened

explained beautifully by anderson .paak's song, the pop trolls stole all the strings, used them to make their kind of music and cut out the other trolls from the music scene

in the words of prince d

"That's just the story cut out and glued by the winners"

AND YES THAT'S HISTORY FOR YA

different retellings, stories of what happened from another pov because guess which perspective you read from the history books?? the winners.

poppy hears all this and y'all idk if it's because poppy's voiced by anna kendrick but this is where all I could think about of was white saviour complex

because this girl is still all about uniting all trolls so they'll live in harmony and yes it comes from a good place but she's just not getting it and fucking hell 😭

she does get the message at the end of the movie after finally meeting barb and speaking of her....

• barb is awful and that's what makes her a great character

as we all know barb's plan is so "unite" all troll nations under the rule of hard rock which is not uniting that's just assimilation

where poppy's desire for every troll to live together in harmony all united by music, barb's comes from a sense of superiority and maybe even pity

evident by every moment she steals a string, barb comments on the other trolls' music with insults which justifies why their music isn't real music while hers is

what's funny is that barb and poppy are very similar

they both really want to prove themselves as good queens, they desire for all trolls to be united and, even if poppy won't admit it, they both see their music as superior tho that degree of superiority is very different

where the similarities end are that barb doesn't want everyone around her to say what she wants to hear, she wants ppl to be real to her, meanwhile poppy refuses to hear anyone else's voice because it's different from hers

which leads to another difference between the two, poppy learns to listen to others because

"A real queen listens." (both said by her and branch)

now let's talk about that finale shall we??

[harbo-urr]

Alhaitham's and Kaveh's relationship in the Sumeru arhon quest: new perspective (for me, maybe for you too!).

Oh it will be long...

It started with my short thoughts about their first on-screen dialog and how it feels different now compared to a year ago, but then spiralled into me re-watching the entire Sumeru archon quest to properly analyse Alhaitham's hidden struggles during it and Kaveh's (not big but) actual plot relevance.

Disclaimer: I'm aware that English VAs were way more emotional then Chinese, especially in 3.2, but, for the sake of having the information to analyse, lets believe that at least the official eng text of their interactions is more or less correct... (I'm sorry I only know English and other languages most likely have translation errors as well anyway).

I'm also assuming that you've read their character stories and know their more deep personalities, not just "cold smart guy and artsy broke guy".

Anyway, I hope someone will find the analyses below as entertaining as I do.

1. Kaveh and Alhaitham: what we see during their first on-screen interaction.

Now, let's all time travel into the day when the last part of Sumeru's quest dropped. These sweet days... Version 3.2, two versions before we got Alhaitham as a playable character and four versions before Kaveh. By this point we've already known a little information about Alhaitham, mostly from the archon quest itself, and next to nothing about Kaveh.

Well, we knew some info, but it was mostly leaks and speculations, nothing more than "a genius architect who lives with Alhaitham because he is broke".

Now, if you didn't read the leaks and just carefully played the quest, you could actually catch some phrases here and there that implied that Alhaitham lives with someone before it was openly confirmed, but again, it's not specific at all. That is why our first meeting with a brand new sexy blond boy was so extreme in all ways. It was beautiful, emotional, entertaining and... extremely toxic. Both Alhaitham and Kaveh behaved surprisingly aggressive (calmer in Chinese but still more negative then what we usually see now). It was fun to watch, and made a lot of people including me really interested in those two from the get go.

But re-watching this dialog now after almost a year felt... Weird. Yes sure, they bicker, it's their thing, but if you compare any other scene with them later it's not nearly as intense... especially on Alhaitham's side (yes, even if you don't listen to va and just read the lines).

So it got me thinking. Why did Alhaitham behave like that? Was it a random writing decision for the drama effect? Or was there something more going on that I didn't understand?

After going through everything from start to finish I believe that yes, there was. But I'll need go through a lot of content recap to fully explain what I mean.

2. First aka "the first on-screen" aka "Where were you when Sumeru needed you most!?" dialog

It is essentially our first glimpse of Kaveh, which we catch in the library on the search for Alhaitham.

Kaveh has just returned to the city so he has no idea what is going on. The shown interaction starts with Kaveh demanding Alhaitham to put his book away and explain what is happening at the Academia. The fact that Kaveh is already pretty irritated when we first see him tricks us into thinking that he's a short-tempered overly dramatic guy, which is...

Well, partly true, but having already experienced how sweet Kaveh actually is we can see through that and realize that Alhaitham most likely was ignoring Kaveh's questions for some time now, and that's why our Kaveh was already on edge when we started. Already weird and we're just at the first line.

After that they bicker a little, Kaveh again asks about the Academia, on which Alhaitham answers: "Oh? I thought you would already knew the inside story."

Then they bicker again (2) and Alhaitham goes hard on Kaveh here. He even agrees with Kaveh that he doesn't say anything nice about him, because "anyone who knows you as well as I do would do the same". DAMN, Alhaitham, that's brutal even for you, why are you so mad, is something bothering you? Oh well..

Then they bicker again (3) and Alhaitham proposes Kaveh to move out of his house, but Kaveh ignores it and tries asking about the Academia again. Alhaitham ignores it as well and says "Forget what's going on with the Academia, haven't you been busy with your construction project?".

Kaveh doesn't want to answer this question and says that he's "getting angry just thinking about it" (worth noting). Kaveh then wants to change the subject again, but Alhaitham doesn't give up and asks about Kaveh's project again ("Where were you when Sumeru needed you most?").

Then they bicker again (4) and Kaveh leaves to ask around.

Huh, that was heated...

Lets do a little bit of unpacking.

So, Kaveh wanted to know more about the Academia and Alhaitham was constantly changing the subject. It can be read as Alhaitham mocking Kaveh just for the sake of it, but if we pay a little more attention to what Alhaitham is saying every time he interrupts Kaveh, it becomes more interesting.

1) "Oh? I thought you would already knew the inside story."

2) "Forget what's going on with the Academia, haven't you been busy with your construction project?"

3) "Where were you when Sumeru needed you most?"

Each time Alhaitham changes the subject, he talks about Kaveh being away for the time of the quest. Let's remember the golden rule of miscommunication conflicts: to understand what actually bothers your opponent you need to spot a repetitive theme in their words. And Alhaitham has a pretty clear pattern. Interesting.

But let's move on to the next dialog.

3. Second aka "second on-screen" aka "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?" dialog

Kaveh returns after asking around and confronts Alhaitham about it ("WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?") (just a funny line). After some bickering (5) Alhaitham agrees to finally tell him what happened. He mentions that Kshahrewar sage was a part of conspiracy as well on which Kaveh reacts surprised and says "...could this be why they sent me out on a project?". However Alhaitham replies that it's just a coincidence and proceeds to suddenly go hard on Kaveh again, saying "whatever you were doing won't have any significant impact now or in times to come" (auch, Alhaitham, auch). Then they bicker again (6) and the dialog ends.

This interaction is more relevant to the "Kaveh plot relevance" section, but the important things for now are:

Kaveh: "...could this be why they sent me out on a project?"

Alhaitham: "I think its just a coincidence ... whatever you were doing won't have any significant impact now or in times to come."

And why is it important?

I find the flow of this whole conversation to be very weird, since it goes "confrontation - agreement - information share - speculation - confrontation". In other words, first Alhaitham doesn't want to talk, but Kaveh persuades him, learns about the sage, brings up his mission in the desert, and Alhaitham returns to the confrontation mode again.

It can be interpreted as Alhaitham just using every opportunity to disagree with Kaveh just cause, but at the same time his words sours exactly after Kaveh talks about him being missing from the quest. Coincidence? I don't think so.

All these little things got me thinking. Why is Kaveh's absence so triggering for Alhaitham? Sure they're close or whatever, but they both value their freedom very highly and it's probably not too rare for them to disappear for a day or two for work. Why is it such a big deal now?

But then I also remembered that Kaveh, basically the only family Alhaitham has (yes I call people you willingly live with a family, its my life experience), went missing from home exactly when the fishy stuff at the Academia started resurfacing. And he was gone for a long time, at least for the duration of the quest, which is about two in game weeks.

Even if Alhaitham is not a very emotional person, he still values family, home, routine and comfort very highly. So, in theory, the sudden empty house should have affected him in some way, right? That's how I decided to check Alhaitham's behaviour during the archon quest and it was.. interesting.

4. Alhaitham's side of the Sumeru quest, with me fillng in the gaps.

Let's think about all these quest days from his perspective.

You're simple logical guy who already for quite some time lives with an annoying but kind of endearing roommate, who you drink coffee with in the morning and often discuss intellectual or not really stuff. Sometimes you argue but he's perspective on life fascinates you as a scholar, so you don't mind it too much. Ultimately you're just used to him in your life.

Then one day you go to your work, which brings you just enough money to feel completely comfortable, but you start feeling that something fishy is going on behind the scenes. Some sages disappear, your archon is treated like a power source and there are weird rumours about the divine knowledge capsules. Then you get a sudden assignment - investigate a blond traveller with a talking fairy. And sages propose to pay you with the divine knowledge capsule.

Suspicious. If it's such a big deal, why would they promise you it as a present for a simple spy work?

You decide to get to the bottom of this and for this you need to buy the capsule yourself. You're sure that the infamous merchant Dori has some, but you're definitely in the black list as the Academia's scribe... Ah, how lucky is it. Your roommate just so happen to have a strong connection to Dori. If you give him money and an excuse why he needs the capsule so much she would definitely sell it to him. It settled then.

You come home. But you're roommate isn't there. You wait. He doesn't come back. You're confused and decide to check using you're connections at the Academia, and... he suddenly was requested to the desert? And just left? Why would he leave exactly when everything was going to get weird? Did he know something? Did Academia want to temporarily move him out of the picture? Maybe they did something worse than that? Was it all a coincidence?

You don't know and you have no time. You need to spy on Traveller. You need to buy a capsule. It seems that you're alone in it.

Dori didn't sell you a capsule. That wasn't unexpected but still worth the try. You decide to make the mysterious traveller to buy it for you. It went great. You find out more about capsules, you steal one yourself. You realise that the divine knowledge offered by the sages was a trap to dispose of you. Your roommate still didn't come back. It's been what, almost a week? Whatever. It's nice and quiet at your home.

You meet Traveller again on your way to the desert to investigate the source of the capsules. You run into Cyno and a bunch of other people and you seem to finally get the lead to answers that you wanted. You find out that the capsules were extracted from the brains of scholars who were send to the desert by the Academia and then abducted. You're roommate was also sent to the desert by the Academia. Uh. He's fine. You have your problems to deal with.

You and your unexpected but quite pleasant team find out that sages want to create a God. It seems it's time to rescue your archon. You came up with a pretty good plan. Noe you need to return to the city after these couple of days in the desert. When you come home, your roommate still isn't there.

The next day your team is preparing for the plan and Cyno says that you all need to go home and have a good rest.

"...Thankfully I had my place to myself recently. It's been nice and quiet."

"...Huh?"

Dehya stares at you confused.

You didn't realise that you said it out loud and you're not sure how other people deal with situations when they say something without thinking.

"Oh, nothing"

You went home and slept alright.

The plan worked, Nahida was saved, sages punished, akasha destroyed, your comfortable routine is safe again. It's still nice and quite at home, so you go to the library to read some books.

"Alhaitham, what happened in the Academia?!"

You hear a familiar voice. After all this time he returns like nothing happened.

5. And this was a recap of Alhaitham's side of the archon quest!

Interpretations can vary of course, but the way I see it, Alhaitham was very bothered by Kaveh's sudden disappearance. He clearly expresses that he wishes Kaveh was in the team during the quest ("Where were you when Sumeru needed you most?"). From this we can guess that Kaveh really left without any warning and had Alhaitham known about it, he would most likely stopped him.

I think Alhaitham quickly found out where Kaveh was (connections) but he had no means of contacting him quickly and maybe didn't even know the exact location. At first it was a minor inconvenience because of the Dori situation, but he probably wasn't bothered to much by it. But after he found out that sages actively tried to dispose of him by making him insane, he probably realised that the situation was way worse that he initially thought. And Kaveh still was somewhere in the desert with no means to contact him.

So what Alhaitham does next? He goes to the desert. Yes, it was for the plot reasons, but let's agree, he at least considered a possibility that he could run into Kaveh there. But he never did. And what's more, he found out that the Academia was abducting scholars and sucking their brains out. Let's be real, the theory that Kaveh was send to the desert for the reasons connected to knowledge capsules, most likely was on Alhaitham's mind, and in a bad universe it could've been correct.

Well, Kaveh did return home after all. But by that point Alhaitham's supressed stress about this whole situation was so great, that it resulted in him being genuinely salty at Kaveh during their first on-screen dialog and even saying "Well, maybe then you should move out of my house" - which, at least from my point of view, is way worse then his usual teasing about Kaveh being broke and homeless or whatever.

6. About Kaveh's role in the archon quest besides making Alhaitham sad

Ag, that's a very fun topic. I don't know how I totally missed it the first time, maybe it was the lack of respect for Kaveh, idk, but he was 100% purposefully sent away for the time of the quest.

Sages wanted to move him out of the picture just like they wanted to do with Alhaitham using knowledge capsule. Except they knew that Kaveh would not be too interested in the capsules. So they needed something else to remove him... Like a sudden very urgent request to build a children's hospital somewhere very deep in the desert for people who are literally dying without it! Huh, well, I just made it up, but I believe that sages came up with something very similar.

Kaveh is the type of person to jump straight into any charity he sees and ask next to none questions about it, so it would be the easiest way to send him away for good. Plus I believe that it could've been the reason why he didn't talk with Alhaitham about it and disappeared so sudden. Children are dying! No time for talking! But then he arrived to the said place in the desert and it was just a mess. Maybe a fake project, maybe literally nothing, maybe a trap. In other words - not the project he was told he is needed for.

It's something that we don't get spelled out for us (Alhaitham even denies it cause he's angry at that moment), but timings are just too perfect to be a coincidence. And that's not the only proof - Kaveh himself heavily implies that there was something very fishy about this mission.

He straight up avoids answering Alhaitham's questions about it, and says "Thinking about it makes me angry". Why would he say this about the Academia project? It's not like he had a specific annoying client. Kaveh was sent as a representative from the Academia to be the head of some "construction project" after all, he presumably was the boss there. So it can only mean that there was something wrong with the project itself.

Plus immediately after he finds out that his sage was a part of the conspiracy, he says "So that's why they sent me there", which further implies that whatever was happening on that mission in desert – it was either absurd (if the sages just wanted to keep Kaveh away for some time) or very dangerous (if they wanted him dead). Unfortunately Kaveh's the last person who would tell us about the danger to his life, so we can forget about learning what the hell was that mysterious mission.

Ah, and about why would sages want Kaveh away. Sure it can be because of his connections to Alhaitham, but…

I think anyone who knows Kaveh more then 10 minutes would know that if he found out what sages are planning to do with a literal child and what they do to other scholars, he would die but not let them continue all of it. And he is quite popular among students and citizens alike, so he could've been a potential threat for the sages.

Makes me wonder how many other potential dangers did sages eliminate in some way for their plan. Probably not too many, but still interesting behind the scenes of their actions.

AND NOW, AFTER ALL THIS THINKING, I FINNALY, FINALLY, WAS ABLE TO UNDERSTAND ALHAITHAM'S FINAL LINES IN THE ARCHON QUEST.

Let's return to the end of the act 5. After we had a feast at the Grand Bazar, we were able to one last time talk to each member of our Sumeru-rescue team.

Alhaitham said this:

Which was always bothering me, because:

One: He suddenly becomes quite sentimental and talks about happiness, which is cool to see, but at the same time... He very rarely talks about subjective emotions. And what's more, he seems genuinely enjoying the thought of it. He isn't really the kind of person who gets his sense of satisfaction out of someone else's happiness (it's one of the things he parallels Kaveh in), so what's this all about?

Two: He extremely abruptly switches the topic to point out that he "seems to have taken both keys when he left the house" (tbh I thought that I accidentally clicked on him the second time and it's the new dialog, but no, it is all specifically a one long dialog).

Well well well. What do we have here.

When I first read these lines I decided that's it's just a weird writing without normal conversation flow. First Alhaitham is satisfied that he's plan worked and his daily life is safe, but says it through pointing out that other people are happy rather then explicitly stating that he's happy. Then he yaoi baiting us with "haha, harassing Kaveh is so much fun" and that's all there is to it.

But.

Now that we know more about Alhaitham's daily life during the archon quest, let's think about the keys some more.

He was able to take both keys because Kaveh was at home and his keys were there either. On his way out to meet us, Alhaitham saw Kaveh's keys on their usual place and took them as well, ultimately making Kaveh unable to leave the house. Which also means...

Kaveh will definitely be at home when Alhaitham returns after the feast.

So if we flip everything based on this logic, Alhaitham tells us: "This is a great evening. This gathering is special. People are finally happy. They feel happiness from the bottom of their hearts. And when I return home there will be someone waiting for".

Which is. So. PRECIOUS!.. Something clicked in my brain when I first realized this meaning and these lines are finally making a lot of sense!

It's the perfect final words for his little character journey in this quest. He protected the life he had and loved, everything and everyone were back to normal again and for him it is a true happiness felt from the bottom of his heart. Just precious.

Final words

Anyway, yes, that's why I believe that during the archon quest Alhaitham was actually constantly worrying about Kaveh at the back of his mind and maybe even feeling lonely, which resulted in his great boom of toxicity during their first on-screen dialog, but after some time he cooled down and slipped into his usual happy comfortable and not "nice and quiet" life again.

And fuck the sages for sending away our boy Kaveh (who actually knows a lot about desert since he works there often) and making our rescue-Nahida-group one competent person shorter.

Thanks for your time and tears, you, the person who read this!

[iwritefanficsandpostthem]

The Drive-in Movie

With the help from @watchingpurpled

Minors DNI-This fic will be 18+!!

SUMMARY: Y/N and Eleven go to a drive-in movie together to watch Ghostbusters, then things start to get spicy as the movie goes on.😁😁

WARNING: none yet-

Y/N’s perspective:

“So tonight? What time is the movie again?” I call El planning on when to go to the drive-in-movies.

We’ve been planning to watch Ghost Busters for a while, since El hasn’t really watched a movie, let alone in a drive-in movie. I also thought it would be fun because I just turned 16 and finally got my license, and I think it would impress her, since I’ve been having this heart-aching crush for forever now.

“Joyce says it’s at 9:00 pm, sharp. How are we gonna get there?” El speaks back, sounding nervous that plans will have to change.

“Well, I received my license last week for my birthday and have been saving it just for tonight, so I’ll pick you up!” I say enthusiastically, walking around my island counter with the phone’s cord almost near to ripping out of the wall. “I’ll even bring different snacks we can munch on during the movie!”

“Li-cense?” El talks into the phone confused, not knowing what that means.

To be fair, she’s a few months younger than me and I know her situation, with the Upside-Down and all, so I understand.

“A license is something that lets you drive a car without police issues.” I explain as I walk back to the base of the phone and twirling the cord in my hand.

“Oh… can I get a license?” El asks me.

I think it’s so cute that she doesn’t know everyday things because I can just bramble about stuff without her just going “mhm” and “yeah”, she just asks questions that I love to answer.

“No,” I respond. “but you’re able to get a permit, which means you can drive with someone that’s 16 or older, but when you turn 16, you can drive all by yourself! I can even teach you how to drive if you want!” I say enthusiastically, and then lean on the wall.

“But won’t police get mad? I don’t have a permit.” El responds.

“Oh! Well that’s ok, I’ll just say I’m giving you lessons, show my license, and they’ll just shrug it off and leave.” I explain, still fiddling with the phone cord.

“But anyways about the movie, I’ll pick you up and you can drive to the movie.”

“Me?” El asks confused.

“Yeah! I said I would teach you right? I’ll pick you up an hour early so we can try and drive a little beforehand, ok?” I plan out for her.

“Ok!” El says enthusiastically.

“I’ll see you then!”

“Ok!” I respond happily.

“See you later!”

Eleven’s perspective:

I hung up feeling excited for the night and hop into my bed and scream into my pillow. I always thought that Y/N is a cool person, one of the last to join our “gang” Mike calls it. I guess it’s another word for group. I wanted to ask what it meant, but I feel this weird feeling when I ask too many questions, to the point where I think I annoy some of the people in our “gang”.

I remember asking what a “sea-urchin” was while we were talking about our science class studies about the ocean, then Lucas was annoyed and said “it’s just a kind of aquatic spike ball, genius.” then Max yelled at him for it. Ever since I felt like asking questions is bad, but not around Y/N. I feel like I can ask as many questions I want around her. I don’t know what to wear for the drive-in movie though, it seems so important for this meet up, especially since it’s just us… just us.

=========================

Pt. 2

Y/N’s perspective:

I drive to Eleven’s house, kind of nervous. I’m nervous because it’s just gonna be us chilling together. Usually we’re around the gang, but I think it’s gonna be awkward even though we’re close friends. I drive up to her house rolling the window on the driver’s side and see her through the window, but quickly disappears and right at to door, waving goodbye to Joyce.

I put the car in park and get out the car for El to get into the driver’s seat with the car still on, and she happily hopped in, and I shut the door for her. I go to the other side and shut the door once I got in.

“Well you seem excited!” I say, putting on my seatbelt.

“Yeah… I’ve never really driven a car before…” El answered, caressing the wheel, beginning to feel nervous.

“Well, are you gonna make this kitty purr?” I say, patting the head of the car.

Eleven looked at me with a confused look not knowing what that meant.

“It’s a saying for driving, you know, when the engine purrs when you drive it or speed it up!” I explain to her.

“Oh.” Eleven responded, grasping onto the wheel and looking forward with a slight smile.

“Anyways, you ready?” I chuckle.

El looks around the car, trying to figure out how to make it start moving. I notice and immediately blush in embarrassment.

“Oh sorry! Uhm here’s the gear stick, it’s on park right now because it’s on the P, see? The P is for Park, the R is for reverse, the N is for Neutral, D for Drive, and L for Low. So put the gear stick on D like this!” I demonstrate how to move the stick, then move it back for her to try as she watches closely.

“Your turn!”

Eleven slowly grabs the gear stick and moves it to Drive.

“There, now there is pedals at your feet; clutch, brake, and accelerator in that order. You won’t need to mess with the clutch one much, but the other two sound like what they are. The brake is stop and the accelerator is go. Try slowly pressing on the accelerator with your foot while steering back onto the road.” I explain as I watch her look at the pedals and back to me.

She slowly presses on the accelerator and slowly steers the car into the street.

I watch as she slowly moves into the road and drives.

“You can go a little faster now.” I say gently as I point at the speed limit sign on the side of the road.

She slowly accelerates the car and goes the speed limit.

“Wow, you’re already a natural at this!” I say as I roll down my window and hang my hand out to enjoy the breeze.

“You see the bump in the distance? You gotta slow down when we’re closer to it to hit it.” I warn Eleven as she focuses on the road.

She slowly drives the car a long as we get closer, and we go over the speed bump.

“Wow, I’m impressed!” I say as she speeds up to the speed limit again.

“Do you think you can turn or do you need help?” I turn to look at Eleven for an answer.

“Maybe…” El says hesitantly.

“Here slow down and I’ll help you turn.”

She slows down and I place my hands onto her hands on the wheel.

=========================

Pt. 3

I feel Y/N’s hands place onto mine and I feel my face get hot. I knew my face was blushing and I tried to make it not so obvious. As soon as we go towards the turn, I let her take the lead and helped her turn the wheel a bit. We successfully turned and she let go of my hands on the wheel and got back to her own seat.

“I honestly thought that driving would be a lot harder than it looks.” I finally say as I take a quick look at Y/N, seeing she’s blushing a little bit too.

“Hah, yeah I thought so too.” Y/N said, rubbing her hands together and leans back in her seat.

I smile at her, continuing to drive and keeping a sharp eye out. We talk a bit while I drive, mostly about memories and other stuff about each other, it was really chill, and Y/N looks so good tonight. She’s also so sweet to me and is always so patient with me. We fall a little quieter as we arrive at the place, and my anxiety kicks in.

There’s so many people and kids, I don’t wanna run them over or anything. I start to breathe a little quicker, gripping the wheel a little tighter.

“Eleven?”

Y/N’s perspective:

I notice Eleven is starting to get tense and rest a hand on her shoulder, giving it a slight squeeze, causing her to jump.

“Eleven?” I say again, more gently.

She looks at me for a quick second, before back at the crowded dirt road.

“Oh! Sorry, there’s just a lot of people here, it’s a lot and I don’t wanna run anyone over…” She trailed off, thinking to herself.

I chuckle to myself and pull over to the wheel.

“That’s what the car horn is for!” I honk the car, causing the people and kids to jump and quickly get out of the way in surprise and slight fear.

Eleven sits there surprised, but laughed slightly. I looked back at her with a smile.

“What?? It always works!” I say, chuckling with her.

“She wipes her tears of laughter off her adorable tinted cheeks.

“It’s just really funny how they ran to the side of the road!” She giggled, before starting to drive again.

We find a spot and finally pulled in, turning off the car.

“Phew, finally.” I said as I reached in the back and grabbed a few bags.

“What’s that?” Eleven asked, looking at me with a seemingly soft expression, but still had her same curious expression mixed in.

“I said I‘ll get snacks and drinks.” I say with a smile.

—————————————————————————

Pt. 4 coming soon

[ninadove]

watching character ai lukadrien create the most heart wrenching debilitatingly angsty love story to ever love story ever

Hey, I can tell there’s no malice behind your ask, but — don’t do that.

I write fanfiction myself, and a lot goes into it:

1. Unreasonable amounts of ✨ Time and Effort ✨

Just the other day, my WIP kept me up until 2 AM, because I wanted it to be neatly polished before even sending it to my beta readers (@paracosmicfawn and @dragongutsixofficial). The first thing I did the following morning was re-read it again, to correct any typos and inconsistencies my tired brain might have missed the night prior.

2. Research and analysis

For a cute little Lukadrien scene I wrote with my ✨ awesome girlfriend ✨ — something that was never even going to be published — I went through a dozen different sources trying to get a better understanding of what meditation actually is and to capture the philosophy behind it accurately. This does not make me special — all authors do it out of dedication and love for their craft, but it’s energy that could be spent doing literally anything else, especially when you consider how horrifyingly lonely the writing process can be (see point 1).

Also, there’s a reason I spend so much time making analysis posts on Silly Little Blorbos who do not exist! It gets my brain running and allows me to sharpen my understanding of the characters, so I can write them properly in my works.

3. A unique perspective on the characters, the source media, and life in general

Which gives all the flavour to my favourite AO3 works out there.

Like, yes, that extract you sent in your follow-up ask is cute, I guess, but it’s also incredibly generic:

When actual living breathing human (or Senti) beings share their work with you, they’re inviting you to a special part of their brain that they’ve decorated with their own experiences, references and visuals — things that they love and passed onto their favourite characters, so they can hopefully reach you. For instance, Character AI would never have had the genius idea to compare Felix’s eyes to an aurora borealis; this could have only sparked from @wackus-bonkus-maximus’ brain. Similarly, my version of Felix will often reference works of art and literature that left a strong impact on me as a child — an impact I’m sure can also be sensed in my approach to storytelling and even in the way I structure sentences and paragraphs.

Which leads me to my final and most important point:

4. EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE™

Because let’s be real — there’s a reason our brains latch onto certain characters, and said reasons aren’t always sunshine and rainbows. I’ve cried more writing about the Senticousins than over the loss of certain people or relationships in my own life. Long before that, I latched onto Clive and gave him everything I felt was missing from my life as a teenager, so I could live vicariously through him. And of course, I always make my characters some flavour of queer, because for a long time this was the only outlet I got for my own feelings and identity.

It takes a lot of vulnerability to put all of this on the Internet for others to read and judge, and it’s very disheartening to see that people would rather ask a machine to spit out some easily digestible but impersonal interactions than give your work a chance.

I can guarantee there are beautiful pieces of fanwork out there that will cater to your tastes and haunt you for years in a way Character AI or Chat GPT never could. And the good news is — if you don’t find anything, it means it’s time to write it yourself!

And of course, I cannot end this post without encouraging everyone to read about the writers’ and actors’ strike currently unfolding in the US.

[santoschristos]

Where is the fifth dimension? Dear family of light,

The fifth dimension isn't a place you go; it's the quality of consciousness you carry wherever you are. It is the open heart that welcomes with love all things, good and bad. It is complete acceptance of reality as it is, without judgement. It is perfect peace and joy at the moment because you recognized a greater presence within you than your ego.

Entering the fifth dimension means becoming one with the entire universe, being one with God. The fifth dimension is not heaven; it is the Kingdom of Heaven on Earth. Exists in a timeless time and space that is beyond human comprehension. It is beautiful beyond imagination, a place of peace, love and joy. That's why when you enter into the higher state of consciousness called "theta", you experience miracles, visions, creativity and genius.

The fifth dimension is home to wonderful beings who are waiting for our return. They are our spiritual guides who will help us evolve to higher states of consciousness. These beings have been with us all our lives, but we could not see them because we were not in tune with them or the frequency they emit.

It’s an eternal mental state that exists beyond birth and death. Although you may have come into this world with some lessons to learn and challenges to overcome, these challenges are not obstacles or barriers, but rather opportunities to see life from a broader perspective.

You must also learn to see yourself from this same perspective and realize that your human body and personality are only temporary containers for your true essence: pure awareness or unconditional consciousness.

The Fifth Dimension exists in the present moment because only here can you experience true peace and joy. When your attention is focused on the past, you are reliving old problems and painful memories; when your thoughts are focused on the future, you are filled with worry about what might happen next.

To be completely in the here and now, use all of your senses to experience life. Nothing is more important than this. Be alive and feel alive. If you're only half alive, you won't know what's going on. When you are not with yourself, you cannot know who you are.

Here are some tips to help you live totally in the present moment:

1) Don’t be afraid of anything: Fear is a sign of weakness and immaturity. Grow beyond it; otherwise you’ll never know freedom or joy.

2) Don’t let circumstances disturb you: there is nothing that can threaten your inner peace and happiness except your prison of negative emotions like anger and fear.

3) Stop thinking about the past or worrying about the future: they do not exist now. The past has already happened and the future is yet to happen; both are illusions. Thinking about them, you miss living in the present moment, which is the real life itself, because this moment only happens once. You can't have that again. So live it hard right now!

4) Stay in the present moment instead of dreaming of things that may never happen or remembering things that have already passed; they have no reality in the eternal now.

This is the moment of your life. Every moment should be so full and so intense that it makes you feel like you've never lived before and that you'll never live this way again. If you can live totally and live intensely in every moment, your life will become a series of golden moments and you will never die because dying means living in the past or living in the future.

The only real life is now.

We are born and die at this very moment. We enjoy life then we die. What's the point of living if you can't live totally? The fifth dimension is a continuous party, where everything is possible. There is no more fear because there is no more death. You are free from all limitations; your mind is as expansive as the sky. In this world there are no suffering, diseases, disappointments and everyone lives in harmony with each other and with nature. It’s a world of abundance and prosperity where everyone enjoys a deep sense of peace and happiness in their hearts. In this world, there can be no conflicts or wars because, in the fifth dimension, there is only unity of mind and unity of heart.

People who have entered the Fifth Dimension can see clearly and fully experience every moment of their lives. They know the secret of eternal youth: there is nothing to get old if you live every moment to the fullest of its potential. When you reach this stage of your evolution, you will be able to perform miracles beyond your wildest imagination - miracles that will amaze you as much as they will amaze others.

The fifth dimension is a state of being that goes beyond all physicality you’ve known so far. It's a dimension of pure love consciousness.

To enter this state, we must practice love by giving it unconditionally and forgiving others unconditionally so that we can feel our immortality more strongly.

The world is your mirror. It reflects who you are. If you love, if you are kind, if you are generous, if you are caring, the world will be loving, kind, generous and caring with you. The world is not a punishment place; the world is full of love. The only way we experience punishment in the world is when we punish ourselves with our unhealed thoughts, perspectives, and emotions.

Every moment in time exists as a perfect pearl. One of the things that happens when you enter the Fifth Dimension is that time for you stops because there's no time there; now everything is eternal. So, in that wonderful realm of eternity, where everything is one and where everything happens at once, there is no time for unhappiness, stress, fear, pain; there is only peace, love and joy - pure blissful joy!

We love you so much.

We are here with you.

We are your family of light.

We are the Galactic Federation.

A'HO

Aurora Ray

Ambassador of the Galactic Federation

[tragedycoded]

My beloved Jamie,

please I need to know.....everything you wanna say about THE CITY in Doom Metal Love Story

(Inspiration, development, behind the scene, refs..... )

Thank you 💖

@gioiaalbanoart my love hello! You asked me the most difficult question LOL I thought to myself "Surely I have something intelligent scribbled in a notebook somewhere" and then went digging through said notebooks and then thought I was only gone a day or two but it was actually a week...

The City lives in my head rent free, and, much like Royston, I have written down not a god-damned thing.

You're going to get inane rambling as I try to explain a character who is literally unexplainable. Our boy (gnc) cannot be perceived, and when it is perceived, it cannot be understood. The City wants to kick Emil Powell down the fucking stairs.

Under a cut due to heavy heavy Book 1 spoilers.

Anyway so for the first two drafts, I referred to the physical location as "the cave" and made no reference to any being besides the spirit that was hounding Royston in the stockade. It took me that long to sort out that "the cave" was its own entity and that the spirit tagging along with Royston was not the presence bothering him in Chapter 17 (Chapter 24 by AO3's ordering.) The "presence" was the City.

My poor beta readers, man. I didn't even know what the fuck was going on when I was writing. My margins are full of notes like "wait is the presence the spirit?" or "ok so the City is the cave?"

Since I don't have any notes, references, or anything useful written down about the City other than what is in the novel, and can only conclude that the City is a truth my brain just accepts to the degree that I didn't even feel the need to take notes about what the fuck a genius loci is, you are the recipient of the first-ever

[The] City Info Dump (tm)

Sentient location.

Based on the concept of a genius loci, or a guardian spirit, but it's not a spirit the way that the spirits in DMLS are spirits.

(I thought it might be fun to write cosmic horror from an atheistic perspective; the worldbuilding is based off of Atomism because I needed a worldview that is rudimentary/cross-system compatible/hasn't necessarily been disproven so much as "forgotten.")

(TLDR: humans are "matter," spirits are "not-matter.")

Capable of traveling between dimensions of space-time.

Very fond of maintaining equilibrium.

Generally incomprehensible to humans (appears like a normal cave unless one "opens their eyes") and even after one opens one's eyes it's still not super comprehensible.

Like Sullivan sees the City as intestines, as they're walking through it, because the best his brain can do is "We've been swallowed up by a giant space squid."

Which fucks him up when they then encounter doors and stone rooms etc. inside of it.

Sullivan loses so many Sanity Points once they're inside the City.

The City is not technically the antagonist of Book 1; the spirit riding Royston's ass is the reason recruits keep ending up near/in the cave, and Powell's group wants to use the City for nefarious purposes.

"You shouldn't have come here," is what the City was meant to represent.

Has nothing to do with what's happening in Book 2.

Wants nothing to do with what's happening in Book 3; as of this moment I do not know if the boys end up back in/near the City in Book 3 but I feel like that would be a Bad Ending condition LOL so I'm leaning v heavily towards "No" but who fucking knows a lot happened in Book 2 that I did not predict was going to happen either.

People who know about the City know it can be used to "time travel" or commune with powerful spirits, but those people tend to disappear after documenting how to get to or travel within the City.

The City won't let visitors in without an exchange of either information or secrets.

Royston and the City can now (as of Book 2/3) commune with each other. As in Royston can meditate/zone out and ask the City for instructions on how to do impossible-sounding things if he's willing to share secrets/information with the City.

That could cause me serious problems in Book 3.

Art references... Zdzisław Beksiński is one of my favorite painters. I took inspiration from a lot of his later work in designing the area around the cave as well as the interior of the City. A video game called SCORN came out a couple years ago that changed my brain chemistry; several of the environments in that game could be locations in the CIty.

I had been playing Mork Borg with a group of gamers for a minute (TTRPG), and the aesthetic of that world kept scratching at the back of my brain after I stopped playing. The City presents itself as a dungeon crawl because it's learning the intentions/goals of the Travelers inside as they move through it, but its overall goal in life isn't to test people. It's more like "Oh, you woke me up? IDK do some puzzles or something I don't have anything ready to entertain guests."

Bonus Blathering About the City's Relationship to Sullivan

The City already knows the three main characters because they've been here before, so it's not trying to test them so much as make sure Sullivan does what he's supposed to do/takes care of Powell.

I haven't decided which one of the three chuckleheads is ultimately responsible for the time loop mechanic. The four loops identified in Book 1 ended like this:

Sullivan died after the amputation; in the interactive novel this is where you can refuse to amputate and end up in the City before the first reset, if you want to play on fucking hard mode.

Sullivan and Royston died on the train; this cannot happen.

Sullivan and Hofer died in the City; Royston retained his memories because he was in the stockade.

Sullivan died in the City.

So one could argue (and I think Royston does argue at one point lmao) that Hofer is responsible, because he tried to amputate and Sullivan ended up dying. But one could also argue (as Hofer has) that Royston was the one who pushed Sullivan off the train like a dumbass and was ultimately responsible for him dying four fucking times in a row.

I personally think Sullivan is the reason they're stuck in the time loop, and if it's not the meta "he refuses to accept the ending where Hofer dies" reason then it's because the City knows he's going for the Golden Ending.

Consider:

There's a line in the Bad Ending where Sullivan is thinking, Just let me die, I can do better next time, something to that effect as Hofer is trying to save him at the end.

I think if not our Sullivan, then some version of Sullivan who has existed in another timeline negotiated with the City. Likely as he was dying. And the negotiation was that he keep getting the chance to try to stop Powell without having to give up everything he always has to give up when he ends up down there.

The three things I have to keep in mind as I'm zero drafting/outlining are:

No unnecessary loss of life.

No sacrifice of either Hofer or Royston.

Everyone who ought to be brought to justice is.

So yeah, surprise: Sullivan already negotiated with the City in another timeline. That's the Sullivan who got our Sullivan the time loop mechanic. Thanks bud. You couldn't have just taken the L and gone on the Dark Tower route with Royston, you had to make me write the version where you get to keep Hofer and Royston and stop Powell. Fantastic.

[twistedastrology]

Outer Planets & Affliction: What destroys a man.

----------------------------------------------------------

gonna talk abt a much darker topic today bc i feel like it and it's absolutely fascinating to me from a very morbid perspective (which happens a lot 4 me)

im gonna start this off by saying this is mostly focusing on extreme cases/what Could happen due to outer planet affliction, none of this is definite if u have afflicted outer planets bc it depends on the severity of their affliction and how many good counter aspects u have to them that help u heal!! :)

to start, the outer planets to me are Saturn to Pluto, so let me give u a quick rundown of what I think these planets are responsible for when they're heavily afflicted:

Saturn - Destruction of the will, the snuffing of one's inner, driving fire.

Uranus - Destruction of the mind, losing your cognitive function, going insane.

Neptune - Destruction of the spirit, loss or lack of intuition, feeling lost within your own life.

Pluto - Destruction of the body, the vessel decays and lacks the strength to repair itself.

i wanna say as well that all of this essentially came to me in a vision from god, i genuinely had no basis in my head initially, i was just rambling to myself in my head and all of this clicked and then it genuinely made sense and i even had evidence to back it up, so i wanted to post abt it because i love dark stuff like this (my blog name isn't twisted astrology for no reason- i mean like the reason was bc it was a play on twist and twisted transistor by korn But yknow it gains reasons as i go on-)

let's go over why each planet destroys what they do:

Saturn destroys the will because it rules over time and persistance- Capricorns are more often than not very driven people, Saturn grounds them and gives them the stability and willpower to see things through. A strong Saturn is often manifested as a very powerful driving force, as the planet often acts an incredibly crucial pillar, if not the foundation in a person's chart.

Uranus destroys the mind because it's the higher octave of Mercury. It rules over innovation and change, even higher thought. A strong Uranus is often an indicator of a genius in whatever area of life the planet is placed into. Thus, when afflicted, it completely shatters and even lacks this potential altogether.

Neptune destroys the spirit because it's known as the planet of spirituality. It's the planet of our higher self and our shadow self, it's our connection to the planes of existence beyond our own. A strong Neptune is often indicative of enhanced intuition, and can even mean the person has a heightened level of awareness of their place in the world and where they're meant to be in life. So naturally, an afflicted Neptune means a complete lack of perspective and the loss/lack of the ability to realize there is more than the self, making one feel lonely, inadequate, and lost.

Pluto destroys the body because it rules over death, transformation and rebirth. It even rules over destruction itself, and its connection to death gives it an inherent connection to the physical body as well. A strong Pluto can manifest as a strong will, but also as a higher pain tolerance because of that. Therefore when it's afflicted, the soul's vessel lacks the ability to transform and regenerate itself effectively, and ultimately will crumble to pieces throughout the course of life.

OK- lemme write normally now instead of all fancy n shit 😮‍💨 But what's my evidence to prove all this-

well someone i know has very heavily afflicted outer planets, mainly saturn, uranus and pluto, but neptune was kinda roped into the affliction as well- and all of this checks out.

saturn especially hits him hard, which also makes it all karmic so idk wtf bro did in a past life but it had to've been Bad bc he's got some SERIOUSLY afflicted outer planets like jesus fucking christ- and like i dont wanna talk too much shit on here but he's insufferable to say the least and, probably bc of the afflicted saturn, will not do the work to fix it.

would genuinely hate to be him on his death bed like 🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡

ANYWAY-

like i said initially tho this does not mean if u have a kinda afflicted uranus, ur gonna go insane!!! no sir!!! it's just abt the extremes n stuff and what i have literally seen happen with my own eyes- i think most people have enough soft aspects to get them into the process of healing, maybe not even soft aspects maybe just solid placements- it's all subjective, rly-

but this is also a really good way to talk abt the Power that these planets have- they are NOT to be fucked with bc when afflicted, they can obliterate you and your entire life tbh- i dont think they Want to unless you somehow have beef with them but overall they are just incredibly powerful planets and i truly think when reading someone's astrology chart, you GOTTA look at the outer planets bc otherwise you're missing out on SOOOOO much crucial information.

i always say that i think outer planets, whether in transit or in a natal chart, have the absolute MOST impact on a person despite being so far away.

far away ≠ lack of impact.

i hope this was interesting to read or at least thought provoking bc i absolutely LOVE dark topics like these, probably my moon/neptune in my 8th house tbh- i mean im genuinely fucking petrified of tornadoes like lilapsophobia type shit but i still put that image here because i unfortunately think they are really fucking cool at the same time (ive had multiple nightmares where tornadoes have killed me. but like........ they're kinda cool......and i hate them........)

anyway!!!!! thank u for reading this far into my yapping session 🙏🙏