#so lately ive been trying to reach out and speak to people making plans to meet. ik they'll understand my situation and if they dont ive

[mostardently]

.

[hsangel64]

bandmates pt. 7 !

pairings: bassist!ellie williams x fem!reader

summary: it’s been a couple of weeks and you and ellie were officially together but ellie has been acting suspicious and it feels like you're together only behind closed doors.

warnings: angst angst angst (sorry !!), cussing, slight smut, use of y/n

a/n: i am trying my best to be back and write, ive been in the process of moving and i just got in the mindset to write!! I had a plan for this and then stopped writing this for a while so this series will have more than just a couple of chapters left, i'm not sure yet!! anyways good to be back hope you enjoy!!

you and ellie were doing fine, great even! but only in your guys' room. you have been so happy the past few weeks, but it was starting to feel a little off. you didn't think much of it but that still didn't stop that small anxious pit in your stomach from forming. you liked ellie so much and was so happy this was finally reality that you didn't see the red flags ahead of time.

"do we really have to go to this stupid get together?" ellie whined and you giggled.

"yes unfortunately we do, speaking of which we need to get up really soon to get ready." ellie groaned and turned away from you and got out of bed. she walked over to her closet while pouting and grabbed some clothes considering we were only in underwear....

you sat up and grabbed an outfit from your closet. ellie came up from behind you and kissed your cheek and made her way down to your neck. you giggled and squished her face in your neck, you tried to push her away, but she fought against your small weak nudges.

"ellie we can't, we have to go dina and jesse really want us there to meet these people."

"we could be late." she said in that sultry voice she puts on. you felt a shiver down your spine and so badly wanted to fall for it but you knew how much this meant to dina and didn't want to let her down.

"no els we gotta go i don't want to let dina down." you laughed as she kept kissing you neck and reaching down you back. she turned you around and kissed your lips, you melted into her mouth and couldn't resist the urge to just go for yet another round of the day, but you fought back and slowly pulled away. you gave her that look a sad puppy dog would give and she groaned and then smiled at you.

"ugh fine, only because you're cute and i love you." you let out a small gasp, ellie hadn't said i love you yet. a small smile made it to your face and she smiled back.

"i love you too." you smiled at each other and kissed again, you both went on and got ready for the get together.

----

you two were sitting on the couch together next to dina and jesse at someone's house you didn't know, you just wanted to be home with ellie. the air felt super awkward and ellie felt a little distant. you didn't think much of that until you all introduced yourselves.

"this is ellie and y/n!" dina introduced us to everyone else and they all collectively said hello.

"how did you all meet?" one of the girls asked and ellie answered.

"y/n and i have been friends since before we could remember and met dina and jesse in high school band class. we all became really good friends and formed our band, coastal."

"that's really cool, you guys all seem so close is it just dina and jesse together? some girl asked while making flirty eyes with ellie.

"yeah it is, me and y/n are best friends and i wouldn't have it any other way." your face shifted and you gently whipped your head towards ellie in a questioning way, she was already looking at the girl with that same flirty look and you turned away and excused yourself to the bathroom. dina noticed your change in behavior and decided to follow after you. you quickly made your way to the bathroom before dina could make it in and you closed the door in front of her face.

"babes are you okay? what happened?" you tuned her questions out and your mind drifted. you could tell something was wrong, you knew it felt weird that you two weren't going on dates or that she acted different outside of the dorm. you saw all the red flags but was too oblivious to see what was going on. your eyes slowly filled with tears and you didn't even realize you were crying until you snapped back into reality and heard dina bang on the door.

"hey, are you okay what's going on??" you turned and opened the door, dina gasped and pushed her way into the room seeing your state.

'what's going on, talk to me." she held your face and wiped your tears, you felt so overwhelmed with emotions and couldn't make out the words so you said.

"ellie is an asshole." she looked at you saddened and nodded her head saying i know, she grabbed you and pulled you into her. you silently cried into the crook of her neck and just felt so angry. you were mad at yourself for thinking this was going to work. you didn't want to cry anymore about it so you gently pulled away and turned to the faucet and wiped your face down of the mascara streaks. dina helped you pull yourself together and you both made your way back into the living room. everyone was preoccupied with mario kart on the tv and didn't even notice you two coming back. you sat down on the couch next to jesse and dina occupied the spot next to ellie. she turned over and looked at you and nodded her head asking if you were okay. you looked away and dina pushed her head towards the tv and diverted her attention away from you.

for the rest of the time you guys were there you sat on the couch with your back against the cushion and your head slouched. dina tried her best to stop ellie from talking to you and left you alone till you guys left.

----

when you guys were getting ready to leave you all said your goodbyes and you saw ellie and that girl exchange numbers, you felt sick to your stomach and didn't want to face her in the car. you turned away and walked out of the house without anyone, you guys weren't to far from the dorm so you just decided to walk on your own.

as you walked you made it to the gas station right by the school so you stopped for a slushy. you walked in and grabbed the biggest size, you needed this. you also grabbed some ice cream and made your way out. you sat on the curb for a little and pulled out your phone to a million notifications.

40 texts from ellie, 20 missed calls from dina, it all felt too much. so you texted dina and said you were fine and just decided to walk home. dina proceeded to cuss you out in your texts and raved about how dangerous that was for you to walk alone by yourself. you rolled your eyes and got up from the curb and walked to rest of the way towards the campus.

you found your way back and checked their locations to see they were home so you just knocked on the door. ellie answered and quickly let you in. you made your way to your shared room and grabbed some clothes.

"hey what happened back there?" she quietly asked and you rolled your eyes. you made your way to the shower but not before ellie squeezed her way through the door.

"bee what's wrong?" she grabbed your arm and you felt sick, you pushed her away and started to take your makeup off before your shower. she put her hand back on you and you pushed her away again getting frustrated now.

"why do you keep pushing me away, what happened back there?" you pushed her away hard and felt that tickle in your throat. you grumbled and said wouldn't you like to know under your breath, but it wasn't very quiet, so she heard.

"what do you mean? i would like to know. what's up with you?"

"i don't know ellie you tell me."

"I don't know y/n that's why i'm asking." you rolled your eyes starting to get more frustrated with her.

"maybe it was the fact that you just called me your friend and not your girlfriend?? i guess i missed something but i thought us having sex all the time and calling each other girlfriends meant just friends."

"i just called you best friend it isn't a big deal i'm sorry." she didn't sound sorry.

"it's a big deal to me ellie."

"well, i'm sorry." she shrugged and you scoffed at her nonchalant movement.

“i really don’t want to deal with this can you please leave i want to shower.” she didn’t pick up a fight and left. you sighed and wiped your face from any left over tears. you made your way into the shower and let the warm water help you forget about your thoughts for just one second.

————

a/n: i’m sorry this was short !! it was more of a filler before we get into some good angst and drama!! chapter 8 and possibly 9 will be out tomorrow!!

taglist:

@gold-dustwomxn @lil-elliesgf @hopelesssheaven @elliestears @cjrights

[angel-anachronism]

OKAY IVE NEVER REQUESTED BEFORE SO IM SCARED BUT I REALLY LIKE YOUR WORK AND IM JUST WONDWRING IF YOU COULD WRITE A RICKY X FEM! READER WHERE THEY ARE LIKE STARGAZING TOGETHER OR SOMETHING?

OK, I'M BACK FROM THE DEAD! Sorry for not posting in such a long time, but life has been going downhill for me lately, and I just feel so unmotivated, so I'm very sorry for making you wait such a long time! My mom has gotten an operation to get rid of a cyst out of her vocal cords, and she's mute for some time, which has made me go through a very deep depression, and exams have made me go through it even deeper.

But now I'm a little better thanks to friends and family. I'm still very sorry for making you guys wait such a long time for me to write oneshots, but I promise that I'll try writing more!

Anyways, here's your order of a scenario Ricky stargazing together with (Y/N) <3

We also reached over 100 followers, which I still cannot believe! Thank you, guys, so much, I love you all very much!

Anyways, sorry for rambling, so here's the oneshot <3

(Tw: None!)

Rewrite the stars (Ricky x Fem!Reader)

(𝓨/𝓝)'𝓼 𝓟𝓞𝓥

My life was pretty boring until I met this boy named Ricky at school.

Ricky had always been fascinated by the stars. He would spend hours looking up at the night sky, marvelling at the beauty of the constellations and imagining what it would be like to explore the vast expanse of space.

Despite his love for stargazing, Ricky had always been a shy and introverted boy. He had developed a condition that made him unable to speak, and this had always made it difficult for him to make friends and connect with others.

But then, when we first met at choir practice, we immediately hit it off. I saw beyond his silence and understood the beauty and depth of his soul, and he understood mine too.

I'd never felt happier in my life until this boy came into it, and I'm thanking every star in the galaxy for making our meeting even become true.

Speaking about the galaxy, today is a very important and rare day for astronomical events. Today is the day when a solar eclipse occurs!

I and Ricky were very excited about this event, and so we made a plan to witness it: We were going to go to the top of Uranium's highest hill tonight and I might even confess my crush on him... That idea makes me blush.

As I stood on the hill, overlooking the vast expanse of the valley below, I couldn't help but feel my heart racing with excitement. The solar eclipse was about to begin, and I was standing here with the one person who had become so special to me over the past few months: Ricky Potts.

I glanced over at Ricky, and I could see the excitement in his eyes. Despite his inability to speak, he had a way of communicating with me that was so pure and genuine. I felt like I could understand everything he was thinking and feeling, without him ever saying a word.

As we stood there, gazing up at the sky, I noticed how the air around us had grown cooler, and a sense of calm descended over the hill. I felt like we were the only two people in the world, lost in our own private universe.

I looked through the eclipse glasses that Ricky had brought along, and I gasped as I saw the sun slowly being obscured by the moon. The bright disc of the sun was being replaced by a dark circle, and it was as if the world had been plunged into twilight.

Ricky pointed up at the sky, and I followed his gaze to see the corona of the sun blazing around the dark circle. Even though he couldn't speak, I could sense his excitement and wonder, and it made me feel so happy to be there with him.

As the eclipse continued, we stood side by side, lost in our own thoughts and feelings. I couldn't help but feel a sense of gratitude for this moment, for being able to witness such a rare and beautiful event with someone who had become so important to me.

As the eclipse ended and the world slowly returned to its normal brightness, Ricky turned to me and smiled. I knew that even though he couldn't say the words, he was thanking me for sharing this experience with him.

"Hey Ricky...I have to admit something to you..." I said. Ricky looked confused. "I like you...And I mean like LIKE you! Wouldyoupleaseacceptmetobeyourgirlfriendprettyplease?" I said the last part faster than sonic the hedgehog could ever say, which made me blush even more.

Ricky started blushing and looking at the ground. Did I do something wrong? Before I could ask him, he signed for me to sit down next to him, and so I did.

At that moment, as I felt the whole universe revolving around us...we finally kissed.

At that moment, I felt like the luckiest person in the world, and I knew that no matter what the future held, this memory would stay with me forever.

𝑅𝑒𝒷𝓁𝑜𝑔 >> 𝐿𝒾𝓀𝑒 (𝒩𝑜𝓉 𝒻𝑜𝓇𝒸𝒾𝓃𝑔, 𝒷𝓊𝓉 𝐼 𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓁𝓁𝓎 𝓃𝑒𝑒𝒹 𝓂𝑜𝓇𝑒 𝓇𝑒𝓆𝓊𝑒𝓈𝓉𝓈 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓇𝑒𝒶𝒹𝑒𝓇𝓈)

[the-king-andthe-lionheart]

The Fundamentals of Gendrya

So I just want to establish the possible foreshadowing Arya and Gendry have that hints at a possible romantic relationship in the future, as well as the romantic undertones present in their story.  I’m not really going to focus on symbolism in this meta (although it will come up a couple of times in a minor way), as that will be a focus for future meta.  This is only meant to establish the fundamental basics.

First I want to say that when I’m talking about the romantic possibility of Gendrya, I mean future Gendrya, as in once Arya is older.  However I will posit and say that because we are viewing this in the world of Westeros (in a pseudo Medieval world that GRRM exaggerated and sensationalized from real Medieval sources as well as rumor) and because GRRM has established he has no problems with placing his younger characters in romantic or sexual situations (see Mercy TWOW) I think it would be remiss to think GRRM would not take Arya and Gendry here if that was his plan all along.  After all, there is plenty of precedent.  

This also leads me to remind everyone that Gendry is not an adult when he meets Arya, and the age gap between the two is one of the least egregious age gaps in the books as most of the age gaps are between adult men in their 20’s and 30’s with 12-16 year old girl’s.  I think a lot of people think of the age gap as Arya being 9 the whole time and Gendry being 16, but this is in fact wrong.  According to the timeline, Arya and Gendry meet at the beginning of 299 AC, right around Arya’s 10th birthday.  In 299 AC Gendry was only 13/14 years old.  He was born in 284 AC and is not the same age as Robb and Jon, like Ned surmises.  Gendry is just big for his age, and it’s highly likely Gendry doesn’t even know how old he is.  When Arya and Gendry separate in ASOS Arya is almost 11 while Gendry is 14/15 years old.  

Regardless, this is fiction, and doesn’t reflect real world morals.  So what I’m getting at is that if anyone disagrees with this meta because of their ages I suggest you don’t read any further.

Foreshadowing

Our first hint of foreshadowing happens in Arya’s very first chapter:

She frowned down at them with dismay and glanced over to where her sister Sansa sat among the other girls.  Sansa's needlework was exquisite.  Everyone said so.  “Sansa's work is as pretty as she is,” Septa Mordane told their lady mother once.  “She has such fine, delicate hands.”  When Lady Catelyn had asked about Arya, the septa had sniffed.  “Arya has the hands of a blacksmith.” - Arya I AGOT

This quote is later followed up with:

[...] “I ruined that gown Lady Smallwood gave me, and I don't sew so good.”  She chewed her lip.  “I don't sew very well, I mean.  Septa Mordane used to say I had a blacksmith's hands.”

Gendry hooted.  “Those soft little things,” he called out.  “You couldn't even hold a hammer.” - Arya VII ASOS

In the same book Lem Lemoncloak says this to Gendry:

“You must be a lackwit, boy,” said Lem.  “We're outlaws.  Lowborn scum, most of us, except for his lordship.  Don't think it'll be like Tom's fool songs neither.  You won't be stealing no kisses from a princess, nor riding in no tourneys in stolen armor.  You join us, you'll end with your neck in a noose, or your head mounted up above some castle gate.” - Arya VII ASOS

At this point Arya is indeed a princess, but Lem also makes an obvious reference (to the audience) to the Knight of the Laughing Tree, which I think we can safely say was Lyanna.  The fact that Lyanna is Arya’s literary mirror, tells me we can connect Arya to Lem’s comment, not to mention the inclusion of “princess” just kind of seals the deal.  We also know that Arya is the spitting image of Lyanna and Gendry the spitting image of Robert Baratheon.  I think it’s worth noting also that after Acorn Hall, Lem takes it upon himself to make sure nothing untoward happens between Arya and Gendry (he thought Gendry was taking advantage of Arya after they wrestled) as he starts sleeping in between them, which is seen in Arya V ASOS when they are at The Peach.  Lem saying “Don’t think it’ll be like Tom’s fool songs neither” is also interesting because at Acorn Hall we specifically get Tom singing a love song directed towards Arya and Gendry.

Speaking of Lyanna and Robert being reflections of Arya (in both appearance and personality) and Gendry (in appearance for the most part) this is said in Eddard I AGOT:

We were meant to rule together. If Lyanna had lived, we should have been brothers, bound by blood as well as affection. Well, it is not too late. I have a son. You have a daughter. My Joff and your Sansa shall join our houses, as Lyanna and I might once have done."

Now this quote may be referring to Sansa and Joffrey, but I do think it’s foreshadowing for Gendrya and this is just a misdirect.  After all, Joffrey is not Robert Baratheon’s son by blood, but Gendry is, even though he is illegitimate.  To me this also sounds like a promise.  When you think about it, the story truly begins at the Tourney of Harrenhal with the events that broke the betrothal between Lyanna and Robert, so it would be very cyclical for the ending to do what the beginning could not, binding a Stark and a Baratheon together in marriage.

There are also several references about Arya marrying an apprentice/blacksmith:

“[...] Or if it is marriage and children you desire, tell me, and we shall find a husband for you.  Some honest apprentice boy, a rich old man, a seafarer, whatever you desire.” - Arya II AFFC

We also have a comment made by Jaime:

“Not all,” said Jaime.  “Lord Eddard's daughters live.  One has just been wed.  The other...”  Brienne, where are you?  Have you found her?  “...if the gods are good, she'll forget she was a Stark.  She'll wed some burly blacksmith or fat-faced innkeep, fill his house with children, and never need to fear that some knight might come along to smash their heads against a wall.” - Jaime I ADWD

Now I know what you are going to say, that Jaime is referring to Sansa possibly marrying a blacksmith or innkeep, but if it weren’t for Jaime’s thought’s in the middle towards Brienne, you’d never guess which Stark daughter he is referring to because Sansa was only just recently married as well.  Also it’s Arya who is associated with a blacksmith (Gendry) and a fat-faced innkeep (Hot Pie).  So while Jaime is referring to Sansa here I think we are meant to actually look at the reality behind this and reverse the foreshadowing back onto Arya, because it wasn’t Arya who was recently wed, that was Sansa.  It’s also Arya who is legitimately trying to forget she was a Stark (Sansa isn’t trying to forget, she is only pretending to be Alayne to ensure her protection) and like I mentioned it’s Arya who had a blacksmith and future employee at an inn as companions for two novels.  So I think it’s a foreshadowing switcheroo.  And I think it’s also worth mentioning that while Jaime sent Brienne out to save Sansa, Brienne spends her whole journey almost exclusively hearing news and following leads about Arya.

There is also a reference in Brienne VII AFFC that makes mention that Arya may marry an apprentice boy:

Gendry was the closest thing to a man grown, but it was Willow shouting all the orders, as if she were a queen in her castle and the other children were no more than servants.

If she were highborn, command would come naturally to her, and deference to them.  Brienne wondered whether Willow might be more than she appeared.  The girl was too young and too plain to be Sansa Stark, but she was of the right age to be the younger sister, and even Lady Catelyn had said that Arya lacked her sister's beauty.  Brown hair, brown eyes, skinny...could it be?  Arya Stark's hair was brown, she recalled, but Brienne was not sure about the color of her eyes.  Brown and brown, was that it?  Could it be that she did not die at Saltpans after all?

*

“One day that little girl [Willow] will make some man a frightful wife,” Ser Hyle observed.  “That poor 'prentice boy [Gendry], most like.”

Willow is very obviously a Arya stand-in which makes this specific quote about Arya and Gendry, not Willow and Gendry.

Arya IV ASOS has the strongest case for future romantic Gendrya.  Not only does Gendry follow after Arya and invite her to look at the forge, Gendry opens up to her about his life right before he was uprooted, and does this:

Gendry reached out with the tongs as if to pinch her face, but Arya swatted them away.

Gendry is being playful and open with Arya during most of this scene in the forge, teasing her in a manner that verges on flirting, telling her a story about his past, laughing and having fun with Arya.  And then this happens:

Gendry put the hammer down and looked at her.  “You look different now.  Like a proper little girl.”

“I look like an oak tree, with all these stupid acorns.”

“Nice, though.  A nice oak tree.”  He stepped closer, and sniffed at her.  “You even smell nice for a change.”

“You don't.  You stink.”  Arya shoved him back against the anvil and made to run, but Gendry caught her arm.  She stuck a foot between his legs and tripped him, but he yanked her down with him, and they rolled across the floor of the smithy.  He was very strong, but she was quicker.  Every time he tried to hold her still she wiggled free and punched him.  Gendry only laughed at the blows, which made her mad.  He finally caught both her wrists in one hand and started to tickle her with the other, so Arya slammed her knee between his legs, and wrenched free.  Both of them were covered in dirt, and one sleeve was torn on her stupid acorn dress.  “I bet I don't look so nice now,” she shouted.

Gendry compliments Arya’s looks and scent, only for Arya to think he’s teasing her about her appearance due to her intense insecurity when it comes to highborn conformation (Gendry’s laugh when he first saw her didn’t help matters in her insecurity even though Gendry most likely only laughed out of being startled at her transformation).  This insecurity leads Arya into getting angry and starting a wrestling match with him.  This wrestling scene also directly follows Jaime and Brienne’s very sexually charged sword fight, and could also be interpreted as foreshadowing a romantic and potentially sexual relationship in the future, like theirs did, when they are older.  

Now I’m not saying that I think Gendrya is going to go NC-17 in the books, but I do think it’s likely to go PG-13 by the end of ADOS, considering we have precedent that GRRM has no qualms about writing these types of things as I mentioned above, and we know Arya is going to be 12 in TWOW and may be at least 14-15 when the series ends depending on how much GRRM can spread out the timeline in the next two books.  But considering the amount of stuff that needs to happen, I think the next two books will span 2-3 years before the epilogue begins.

Then there is the love song GRRM specifically wrote for Arya.  A song that has only appeared in one chapter, Arya’s chapter:

“My featherbed is deep and soft,

and there I'll lay you down,

I'll dress you all in yellow silk,

and on your head a crown.

For you shall be my lady love,

and I shall be your lord.

I'll always keep you warm and safe,

and guard you with my sword.

“And how she smiled and how she laughed,

the maiden of the tree.

She spun away and said to him,

no featherbed for me.

I'll wear a gown of golden leaves,

and bind my hair with grass,

But you can be my forest love,

and me your forest lass.”

Now we know this song is about them because when Tom O’Sevens is singing it, he winks at Arya, and later Lady Smallwood specifically says to Arya “I have no gowns of leaves”.  The song specifically mentions yellow – a Baratheon color – and depicts the free spirited “Maiden of the Tree” who wants love on her own terms, which sounds like what an older, flowered version of Arya would want if she fell in love.

Romantic Undertones

Arya’s Crush

As she passed the armory, Arya heard the ring of a hammer. A deep orange glow shone through the high windows. She climbed to the roof and peeked down. Gendry was beating out a breastplate. When he worked, nothing existed for him but metal, bellows, fire. The hammer was like part of his arm. She watched the play of muscles in his chest and listened to the steel music he made. He's strong, she thought. As he took up the long-handled tongs to dip the breastplate into the quenching trough, Arya slithered through the window and leapt down to the floor beside him. - Arya IX ACOK

It’s very subtle but this paragraph tells us everything.  Arya unintentionally reveals in this quote that she watches Gendry blacksmithing enough to know that the world falls away when he’s in his element.  She watches the play of muscles in his back and notes how strong he is and even attaches poetic language to his work.  Arya has a crush on Gendry.  It’s not acknowledged and it’s likely she doesn’t understand it herself, but this seems to be the truth of it, especially with the way GRRM worded this.  I don’t know how many times I’ve read a romance where the protagonist studies their love interest while watching the “play of muscles” in their back or their arms.  It’s also interesting to note that Arya always mentions specifics about Gendry’s looks and notes details about him:

He blinked at her, startled. Strands of thick black hair, still wet from the bathhouse, fell across his deep blue eyes. "I'd hurt you." - Arya II ACOK

"It's me they want," Arya whispered back. His ear smelled of soap. "You be quiet." - Arya II ACOK

When she spied Gendry, his bare chest was slick with sweat, but the blue eyes under the heavy black hair had the stubborn look she remembered. - Arya VIII ACOK

"She's not alone." Gendry rode out from behind the cottage wall, and behind him Hot Pie, leading her horse. In his chainmail shirt with a sword in his hand, Gendry looked almost a man grown, and dangerous. Hot Pie looked like Hot Pie. - Arya II ASOS

Now most of these I’d normally chalk up to the author just being descriptive, but if that’s the case, why don’t we know more about Hot Pie’s looks, who Arya spent nearly a year with at the same time as Gendry?  Why does she take special time out to describe Gendry so much?  Honestly I think part of it is to keep reminding us that Gendry is a secret Baratheon bastard, but that doesn’t explain the first quote about Arya watching the “play of muscles” in his back and noting how strong he is.  So I think it’s a combination of GRRM wanting to remind the audience that Gendry is a Baratheon and to also subtly show us that Arya has an innocent crush on him, but doesn’t know or acknowledge that this is the case out loud.

Their Mutual Jealousy

Starting after the events of Acorn Hall in Arya IV ASOS, it’s obvious that something shifts in Arya and Gendry’s relationship.  One aspect is that Gendry can no longer ignore that Arya is indeed a highborn girl after seeing her for the first time dressed up as one.  He knows what class differences will mean for their friendship.  And another aspect, is that Gendry acknowledges that he may be romantically interested in Arya, or at least acknowledges the potential for those feelings to emerge in time.  And because of this, combined with their class differences, Gendry knows that if he follows Arya to Riverrun where her mother and brother are, he would end up watching Arya grow into someone he could romantically love, only for her to be torn away from him due to an arranged marriage.  Both of these aspects play a factor in why we see Gendry become more outwardly scathing towards highborns in the chapters following this and why his behavior seems to become one rife with jealousy.

In Arya V ASOS the Brotherhood Without Banners travel to The Peach and both of the above aspects I spoke of are present in this chapter:

"You don't even know what a brothel is."

"I do so," she insisted. "It's like an inn, with girls."

He was turning red again. "What are you doing here, then?" he demanded. "A brothel's no fit place for no bloody highborn lady, everybody knows that."

And when Gendry protects Arya from a pervert by saying that she’s his sister, this is what goes down:

"Why did you say that?" Arya hopped to her feet. "You're not my brother."

"That's right," he said angrily. "I'm too bloody lowborn to be kin to m'lady high."

Arya was taken aback by the fury in his voice. "That's not the way I meant it."

"Yes it is." He sat down on the bench, cradling a cup of wine between his hands. "Go away. I want to drink this wine in peace. Then maybe I'll go find that black-haired girl and ring her bell for her."

Arya doesn’t really understand the intentions of the pervert, despite knowing of sex, and is confused on why Gendry would say that he’s her brother, but when she asks him, he takes it the wrong way since he is already so sensitive about their class differences at this point in their story.  That last paragraph is what makes this exchange really interesting though.  Why would Gendry say this, when it’s already made clear and established in this chapter that Gendry has no intentions of sleeping with any of the girls, even when it’s offered to him for free?  He is very obviously lying to try to get a rise out of Arya and the only way this makes sense is if we put it under a romantic lens.

Then we have this:

Arya whirled and left him there. A stupid bullheaded bastard boy, that's all he is. He could ring all the bells he wanted, it was nothing to her.

Now considering Arya’s defense mechanism (the mechanism that has her calling things or people stupid when she’s hurt or feeling inadequate by them to try to make the pain and hurt not seem so severe) the fact that she calls Gendry a “stupid bullheaded bastard boy” and proclaims Gendry ringing the bells of any girl was “nothing to her” tells us that it matters to her and that she’s upset.  This is further reiterated in Arya VIII ASOS:

Arya wished she had another crabapple to bounce off his face. "My father had honor," she said angrily. "And we weren't talking to you anyway. Why don't you go back to Stoney Sept and ring that girl's stupid bells?"

So here we have Arya mention this three chapters later, likely weeks if not months later.  If Arya didn’t care about Gendry ringing “all the bells he wanted” then why is she still so hurt and jealous?  She’s obviously been stewing about this for a while.

In this same chapter we also see gems from Gendry that clearly proclaim that he’s still plagued about his class differences to Arya.  It also clearly shows that Gendry is jealous of Edric Dayne once Arya befriends him, especially since she befriended someone highborn, like her, who just so happens to be a boy who we know has nearly the same coloring as Rhaegar Targaryen, which evokes the history repeating motif that is present in Arya’s arc of the Rhaegar/Lyanna/Robert love triangle.

"You have a knife," Gendry suggested. "If your hair annoys you so much, shave your bloody head."

He doesn't like Ned. The squire seemed nice enough to Arya; maybe a little shy, but good-natured. She had always heard that Dornishmen were small and swarthy, with black hair and small black eyes, but Ned had big blue eyes, so dark that they looked almost purple. And his hair was a pale blond, more ash than honey. - Arya VIII ASOS

And

"My lady?" Ned looked embarrassed. "I'm Edric Dayne, the . . . the Lord of Starfall."

Behind them, Gendry groaned. "Lords and ladies," he proclaimed in a disgusted tone. Arya plucked a withered crabapple off a passing branch and whipped it at him, bouncing it off his thick bull head. "Ow," he said. "That hurt." He felt the skin above his eye. "What kind of lady throws crabapples at people?"

"The bad kind," said Arya, suddenly contrite. 

Gendry continues to encapsulate “ours is the fury” during Arya’s whole exchange with Edric Dayne.

I do want to add that I know Gendry’s class issues have always been there, and it’s definitely been made even more apparent to him during the War of the Five Kings during his time in the wartorn Riverlands with Arya, so it’s not exactly that far-fetched that Gendry may become even more sensitive and/or bitter about it.  However, this extremity of his behavior only happened after Acorn Hall where he saw Arya looking like the highborn girl she is.  And while I do believe part of Gendry’s increase of bitterness about their class differences does have to do with potential romantic feelings, I also think it has to do with Gendry also coming to terms with the fact that Arya’s family is also directly responsible for the carnage they have seen and experienced (even though he doesn’t blame Arya, as she seems to be one of Gendry’s exceptions when it comes to his dislike of the nobility).  If it weren’t for the blatant flirting on his behalf in the forge at Acorn Hall and the jealousy, I would honestly chalk it up to Gendry trying to reconcile his own trauma and anger regarding highborns, including Arya’s family’s sins, but alas, that is not completely the case.

Post Separation

When Arya is kidnapped by the Hound and witnesses the Red Wedding, Arya contemplates where she may go and this crosses her thoughts in a very romanticized light:

She could stay with Hot Pie, or maybe Lord Beric would find her there. Anguy would teach her to use a bow, and she could ride with Gendry and be an outlaw, like Wenda the White Fawn in the songs.

But that was just stupid, like something Sansa might dream. - Arya XII ASOS

The fact that Arya follows this thought up with “that was just stupid, like something Sansa might dream” tells us specifically what type of fantasy this is.  Arya isn’t fantasizing about an adventure, she’s fantasizing about love and romance, considering those are the types of flights of fancy Sansa always loses herself in.  Now Arya isn’t outright rejecting the possibility of romance here, because there is more to that second paragraph:

But that was just stupid, like something Sansa might dream. Hot Pie and Gendry had left her just as soon as they could, and Lord Beric and the outlaws only wanted to ransom her, just like the Hound. None of them wanted her around. They were never my pack, not even Hot Pie and Gendry. I was stupid to think so, just a stupid little girl, and no wolf at all.

She rejects the possibility because she remembers that Hot Pie and Gendry abandoned her as soon as they could, and that all the Brotherhood did was use her, according to her perspective on the matter.  And her perspective is entirely skewed because of her abandonment and low self-esteem issues, as well as not fully understanding the class issues as she honestly didn’t think that bringing Hot Pie and Gendry to Riverrun and Winterfell would cause any issues with their friendships, which is understandable for a kid to think.  Especially one that hadn’t been in the highborn world for the past year and a half.  In fact, Medieval children in the real world and in the books, weren’t reprimanded for playing together regardless of class, usually the highborn children played with the children of those who worked and lived within the castle walls, from other lords children to stewards children to the helps children.  It’s just something children did until they reached a certain age where it just wasn’t allowed anymore.  So it’s only natural for this not to really factor into Arya’s plans.

When Arya is about to walk into the House of Black and White, Arya comforts her fear with a memory of Gendry:

Suddenly she was somewhere else . . . back in Harrenhal with Gendry [...] - Arya I AFFC

Which indicates that Gendry is still very much on her mind at this point.  I think it really says something as well that Arya takes comfort from a memory at Harrenhal of all places.  I think this indicates how much comfort she took from their friendship.  I also think she doesn’t think about Gendry with the Brotherhood to take her comfort because while ASOS has the most romantic foreshadowing for them and the two shared some nice moments, it was also the start of them truly fracturing, or so her unreliable narration interpreted it as.  After all, she actually thought that Gendry was making fun of her looks at Acorn Hall, and she thought Gendry didn’t want to be her friend anymore as he “abandoned her” for the Brotherhood.  So while Harrenhal was awful and they had their disagreements there, Arya still felt reassured with his companionship and likely found it uncomplicated in comparison to her other problems at the time.

*

When we next see Gendry in Brienne VII AFFC we see a drastically different Gendry.  While Gendry has always been guarded and sullen with a chip on his shoulder, with little love for the nobility, this change is drastic enough where it’s unsettling to read at first.  Not only is Gendry just flat out rude in a very mean way but he is filled with rage.  Gendry joined the Brotherhood because he liked how they handled justice, but under Lady Stoneheart there is no justice and he doesn’t seem to mind.  His beliefs have shifted as well.

And though his eyes had been that same deep blue, Lord Renly's eyes had always been warm and welcoming, full of laughter, whereas this boy's eyes brimmed with anger and suspicion.

Septon Meribald asked if he might lead the children in a grace, ignoring the small girl crawling naked across the table. "Aye," said Willow, snatching up the crawler before she reached the porridge. So they bowed their heads together and thanked the Father and the Mother for their bounty . . . all but the black-haired boy from the forge, who crossed his arms against his chest and sat glowering as the others prayed. Brienne was not the only one to notice. When the prayer was done Septon Meribald looked across the table, and said, "Do you have no love for the gods, son?"

"Not for your gods." Gendry stood abruptly. "I have work to do." He stalked out without a bite of food.

Gendry was at his forge, bare-chested beneath his leather apron. He was beating on a sword as if he wished it were a foe [...]

What would a knight be doing working at a smithy? "You have black hair and blue eyes, and you were born in the shadow of the Red Keep. Has no one ever remarked upon your face?"

"What's wrong with my face? It's not as ugly as yours."

Lord Renly was ahead of her, her sweet smiling king. He was leading her horse through the trees. Brienne called out to tell him how much she loved him, but when he turned to scowl at her, she saw that he was not Renly after all. Renly never scowled. He always had a smile for me, she thought . . . except . . .

While some people chalk up Gendry’s behavior as a result of trauma about what he experienced in the Riverlands, and I don’t deny that is a factor, I don’t believe it’s the only factor because we didn’t see Gendry like this post Harrenhal or even with the Brotherhood in ASOS.  Yes he embodied “ours is the fury” at times and was jealous and bitter, and rude at times as well, but he wasn’t flat out cruel to people, nor filled with rage and vengeance.  The Gendry before Arya was taken would never have led Brienne to Lady Stoneheart for the slaughter after she tried to save everyone in that Inn against Rorge and Biter and co.  We can also see another difference in Gendry:

Lightning cracked to the south as the riders swung down off their horses. For half a heartbeat darkness turned to day. An axe gleamed silvery blue, light shimmered off mail and plate, and beneath the dark hood of the lead rider Brienne glimpsed an iron snout and rows of steel teeth, snarling.

Gendry saw it too. "Him."

While there is no emphasis on the “him” when Gendry sees the Hound’s helm, it’s an abrupt and emotionless statement.  It’s one word without emphasis but it conveys a lot.  Gendry recognizes the Hound’s helm and it’s apparent he’s not happy, thinking that it was indeed the Hound for a minute.  And while I’m trying to avoid discussing symbolism, I just can’t ignore how the lightning that cracked in the south could also be symbolic of Gendry’s true mood.  He is, after all, a bastard Baratheon, connected to the storm, the fury - thunder and lightning - as well as sharing a connection to the god, Thor in our mythology.  This lightning could symbolically be linked to Gendry’s anger and vengeance.  So why does Gendry act like this when he sees who he thinks is the Hound again?  He had no issue with the Hound during his trial by combat, so what changed?  The Hound kidnapped Arya.  And while he knows Arya didn’t die at the Red Wedding, he and the Brotherhood aren’t entirely sure if the Hound sold Arya to the Lannister’s and if she is now Arya Bolton.  So it makes complete sense why he would have issues with the Hound.  In fact I think a lot of this behavior we are seeing from Gendry is the direct result of the Hound kidnapping Arya and not knowing if she’s dead or being brutally raped and tortured in the North.

Why do I think this?  Because this behavior began between Arya being kidnapped in ASOS and Brienne VII AFFC.  Only a few to a handful of months have passed since then.  This, I believe, is the inciting incident.  Another reason why I believe Arya is the reason is because of what he is doing.  He is staying at the Crossroads Inn, one of the last known places Arya was sighted, and he’s helping take care of orphaned children.  Arya took in strays as well and cared for them, like Weasel.  And considering how Gendry in ACOK wanted to leave Weasel and Hot Pie and Lommy behind, it’s interesting to see that he’s helping by taking in strays himself now, as if he thinks he may be able to atone for not saving Arya.  Another reason is because the Brotherhood is actively searching for Arya as well.  She is ever present on their minds.  So yes, I believe part of Gendry’s change has to do with losing Arya, which goes to show how much he really cared about her.  Not to mention (a tiny bit more symbolism, oopsie!), Gendry’s stay at the inn, waiting for Arya to return (I believe Gendry and the BWB are hoping that Arya is alive and will return to the inn) is a romantic aspect to the mythology of Weyland the Smith and his Swan Maiden/Valkyrie, and the aspect about the Brotherhood + Gendry searching the realm for Arya is also a romantic Cinderella motif, hence why I feel Gendry’s behavior here is supposed to have romantic subtext.

*

Extra:  Another interesting aspect that I think foreshadows this future relationship is the meaning of Gendry’s name.  Gendry is a nickname type of surname for a person who has inherited his family estates from his father-in-law, deriving its origin from the Old French word “gendre,” which meant “son-in-law.”  And as we know if Arya and Gendry married when they were older, Arya wouldn’t be taking his name, but he hers, due to her higher status.  So by marrying into the Stark family, he would be inheriting from his father-in-law Ned so to speak, even if it’s just inheriting the surname.

So this is everything I’ve compiled so far about Gendrya, that relies on just their foreshadowing and romantic undertones in the texts we have available but I’m positive I’ll be adding more to this list once TWOW officially releases.  However, I still have a lot more to share that focuses on their symbolism and motifs throughout the story, so I’m definitely not done making Gendrya meta, far from it and I can’t wait to share it with you all!  

And if anyone is interested in Arya’s and by extension Gendrya’s Cinderella motifs, you can find it at this link:  A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes.

[rattyoakenbitch]

❝𝐢𝐟 𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐝❞ ─ 𝐥𝐞𝐯𝐢 𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧

i don't want your sympathy, i guess ive had it rough but you don't really care

❥ content ; gn reader, eventual fluff, angst, pining, happy ending

❥ warnings ; injury, swearing, mentions of death

❥ synopsis ; when you get badly injured during a mission, only then does levi realize the depths of his feelings for you. now the question is, is it too late?

❥ a/n ; i don't have a taglist yet so feel free to ask to get added!

You glided through the trees alongside your team, adrenaline running through your veins.

Kicking yourself off a tree, you landed your body with ease onto a lone Titan spotted in the forest below you. With a swift swing of the blade, the Titan was on the ground.

Finished, you zipped yourself back into the air, joining your team member's formation as you all flew together.

"Y/N!" Captain Levi shouted, resent dripping off of his words. Here we go again. "Do not deviate from original course! We are here to scout, not to thrill seek."

The team came to a slow. They stood on the branches, overlooking the land beneath them.

"I was not thrill seeking, sir, I was doing my job," you defended, turning to Captain Levi. Though he was shorter than you were, his cold stare and unwavering demeanor intimidated you.

"Your job is to follow my orders, brat, not go off wandering like an idiot!"

"I didn't wander, I was quick to regroup! You're just finding a reason to take your anger out on me," you retorted. "Then again, I wouldn't be surprised. Considering your height, it's no wonder you can barely contain your anger in such a small body."

As much as he wanted to push you off the tree, Levi kept his poise.

By now the team could hear you and Levi's bickering, but considering they were used to it, they decided to butt out and focus on planning the route.

"Stable duty when we get back."

And then he walked away, leaving you fuming.

As you continued with the scouting mission, you encountered too many Titans that you couldn't just brush them off. Angry and left with no choice, Levi shouted orders to forget the original plan and fight back.

Out of the corner of your eye, you spotted two Titans approaching Jean and Armin with intent. You narrowed your eyes. This was your chance. You bolted off the tree, flying fast towards the two Titans. You got your gear out, ready to slice their napes, when one of the Titans looked your way, a sick smile on its face.

"Y/N!" Armin called out in a panic as the Titan extended its arm, swiping at you like a fly. Before its hand could collide with you, you were pushed out of the way by none other than Levi.

He wrapped his arms around you securely, one underneath your bottom and his other around your back. You heard him whisper a profanity, his hot breath fanning your neck as he spoke. Though it wasn't the time or the place, you couldn't help but let your mind wander.

You were brought back to reality when Levi glided deeper into the forest, setting you down onto the ground harsher than necessary.

Totally caught off guard, your back was shoved against a tree. Levi was quick to block your exits, predicting you would try to resist.

His arms caged you between him and the tree, leaving little to no distance between your bodies. You could feel your face get hot, either out of embarrassment or his body heat mixing with yours.

"What the hell is wrong with you, brat?!" Yelled Levi, eyes wild with rage. However, something felt different about this compared to when he scolded you for separating from the group. But you couldn't quite put your finger on it.

"Me?" You scoffed. "You're the crazy psycho who stole me away and cornered me in this forest!" You pushed at his chest, successfully shoving him off of you. "I had everything under control."

"You were almost killed! I can't have reckless people on my team. I'm a captain, not a babysitter, so get your shit together or get the hell off my team."

You stood against the tree quietly, Levi's venomous words stunning you into silence. Levi continued to stare deep into your eyes, his expression never changing. However, as the seconds passed, you saw a sliver of regret in his eyes, lasting only for a mere second.

You took a deep breath, trying to choose your words carefully. "I- Just.. Why do you hate me so much?"

Levi raised a brow while you continued to speak.

"I know I'm not the best fighter. Not compared to Misaka or Eren. But what did I do to deserve so much hatred from you? Even when I'm not doing anything wrong, you look at me like I'm the most disgusting person you've seen."

Despite feeling a sting of guilt at your words, Levi put on a dismissive act. "Tch, you're being dramatic. I'm not about to discuss this with you."

Why the fuck did he say that?

"Maybe if you listened to me for two damn seconds you wouldn't get such an earful."

Why is he being such an asshole? Gods, just tell them already. Stop this bullshit.

No longer finding it in you to care, you began to raise your voice, angry tears spilling down your face. "I try my best to make you like me. I try to show you that I'm capable and strong, but you still treat me as if I'm inferior. Like my skills are nothing. Like I'm nothing."

Emotionless, Levi replied, "Because you are. Look at you. You're a crybaby. You should've stayed back." Lies. All lies.

"Ugh- well maybe you should've just let me get killed since you despise me so much!"

With that, you grab your gear and zip away as far from Levi as possible, tears blowing out of your face and into the wind.

"Hey, where are you going?!"

You ignored him as you continued to speed through the trees, searching for your team. Your friends. Anybody.

"Y/N! Look out!"

You heard Eren shout, making you spin around frantically to search for the danger.

There it was.

An Abnormal ran your way, crawling like a dog on its hands and feet.

It had been chasing the team for a while now, evident in its animalistic, hungry look.

Steadily hanging off a branch, you watch the Titan from afar, then look back at the team.

"I'll distract it! You guys go!"

They looked at you as if you had grown two extra heads.

"You'll die!" Mikasa argued. "We can take it!"

"Just go!"

The Titan started to get closer. The team looked behind you, then back at you. Though they looked ready and determined to take it down, you knew they felt as terrified as you were. Fighting Titans was just something you don't think you'll ever get used to.

"Please be careful. We're gonna find Captain Levi!"

You nodded, then turned around, watching as the Titan ran towards you, totally disregarding the rest of the team.

"You want me? Come get me."

When you decided it was close enough, you darted into the forest and soared through the trees, only narrowly missing them. The Abnormal followed you, but hit itself on the trees and destroyed many in the process.

While the Abnormal continued to run through the forest, leaves and trees blocking its direct vision of you, you took a chance and turned back, flying past the Abnormal.

You did a quick u-turn and hopped onto its back.

You got it now.

As it chased after nothing, completely unaware, you slashed the nape of its neck.

With you still on its back, the Titan went limp mid-jump, falling onto the ground hard enough to create an earthquake. Unprepared for the collision, you went flying off its body.

Instead of bracing yourself for the fall, you frantically reached for your gear in an attempt to glide back up to the trees.

Before you got the chance, your body met with the ground, a loud thud echoing from the impact.

In the distance, the rest of the team continued to fight until they got to the very last Titan. Levi, though he was the last to regroup, helped effectively take down the Titans.

It wasn't evident in his stoic expression, but he searched among his surroundings and the faces of his team for you, afraid the worst had happened. Dammit, why did he have to be such an asshole? What Levi said to you, he meant none of it. But he feared he wouldn't get the chance to tell you that. Idiot.

"Is everybody here?!" Levi shouted as his team gathered around him.

"Yeah, we're alive-"

"Wait, where's Y/N?"

The team began to search among themselves, now becoming anxious as well.

"Well, where are they? Did you not see them at all?" Levi asked in a calm tone, despite his heart beat pounding in his ears. No. He wasn't going to slip up. Not here, not now. He needed to remain strong.

Mikasa spoke up. "We last saw them when we were being chased by an Abnormal! They offered to distract it and take care of it themselves."

Levi shouted, a crack in his voice, "And you let them?!"

"Y/N is strong! One of the best fighters we have here," Eld said. "They've probably already taken it down by now."

"Then where are they?!" Levi growled, becoming more frustrated by the second.

"Hey, look!" Armin yelled, shaking his finger towards the steam in the distance. "Eld was right! Y/N did kill it after all!"

Wasting no more time, Levi commanded the team to follow him. Soon again, they were up in the trees, running your direction. They stopped as soon as they came across a clearing in the forest where the Abnormal laid lifelessly.

"Everyone! Find Y/N!"

The team split, searching the area for any sign of you.

Levi dreaded the thought of finding you like they found the Titan. No. You killed it. You had to be alive.

Levi repeated that in his head. You had to be alive.

Because if you weren't, he wouldn't know what he would do.

Your eyes shot open at the sound of panicked screams echoing around you. You pushed yourself off of the ground in a rush, only to stumble back with an agonizing scream, pain shooting up the lower half of your body.

"Fucking hell! Oh shit," you fell back on the grass defeatedly, hot tears welling in your eyes at the intense pain and aches across your whole body. "Dammit!"

You didn't know which bones were broken, where you were, if you were bleeding out. So you just laid there alone, helpless and numb. Waiting.

Just when the team was beginning to lose hope, a blood curdling scream echoed throughout the forest, easily catching the team's attention. They headed towards the source of the sound, but Levi was the first on it, already sprinting through the forest to find you.

When he did, he felt his heart drop down to his stomach. You laid in a small clearing behind some old trees and bushes, a puddle of blood beneath your body. Your uniform was torn and your 3DMG was rendered useless at this point. If not for the scream, or the fast rise and fall of your chest, he would've mistaken you for being dead.

Levi rushed to your side and got onto his knees, lifting up your body into his arms.

"Y/N? Can you hear me? Y/N?"

You coughed, wheezing and struggling to make a coherent sound. Blood dripped down the corner of your mouth as you spoke, "You were right, Captain. I never stood a chance, did I?Shoulda just stayed." You laughed pitifully.

Now Levi was angry, but not at you. "Shut up! Don't say stupid shit like that! You're going to be okay."

The team found you, stopping short at the sight of Levi holding you carefully, like a porcelain doll, ready to break.

He didn't care anymore. He didn't bother to put up a front. Not when you were like this, half dead in his arms. He pressed his forehead to yours, whispering in your ear so only you could hear.

"I can't lose you too.."

Everyone else only continued to watch the intimate scene unfold before them.

When you fell unconcious, Levi squeezed his eyes shut, trying his best to keep his composure. Why was he acting like this? Usually he would be quick to solve problems without letting his feelings get in the way. Why was he so helpless now?

He turned around, scowling at the group who just stood by idly.

"Get over here and help them, you fools!"

You hated it. You hated having to be looked after or saved like a princess in a children's storybook. You didn't want to run away anymore, or simply stand in waiting, hoping for someone to rescue you. You were done being hunted. So you joined the Scouts after years of hard work and training. If you had only thought more carefully or put your parent's advice in consideration, you wouldn't be in your current situation, regretting ever joining Levi's team. You wouldn't have ended up in the infirmary.

You passed out in Levi's arms after suffering from injuries during your fight with the Abnormal Titan, according to your friends. They came by to visit you when the medic alerted them that you had woken up from your coma.

"How long was I out for?" You winced as you massaged your still pounding head. "When did I even get here?"

"You've been unconcious for two days. We retreated to the city as Captain Levi instructed and you've been under their care since," Eren answered. He noticed your demeanor as you looked around the room and picked at your skin, a nervous habit you recently formed. "Everybody's alive, so don't you worry."

"Where are they?"

"Well, they did have to receive medical attention since they got hurt, but they're okay! They miss you, ya know?" Armin said excitedly. "We'll make sure to fill you in on everything when you're out of here."

You pursed your lips. "Speaking of which, when will I be discharged?"

"You can't exactly walk right now, but.. you should be up and ready to go within a week! Then we can go on another mission and-"

"Eren. Armin. Mikasa." Your attention was torn away from Eren, your eyes darting towards the source of the voice.

"Captain Levi!" They all exclaimed in unison.

"I would like to speak with Y/N in private." He glanced at trio, his eyes narrowing. "Out."

The three walked out, heads bowed like sad little puppies. You waved at them as they went before turning to Levi who now stood by your bed.

"What do you want?" You asked bitterly, nose scrunching up in a sneer.

"Commander Erwin informed me of your decision," he spoke softly, differing from his usual cold tone.

You huffed. "Yeah, took your advice and resigned. You won't have to worry about babysitting me anymore."

A pang of guilt shot through Levi's heart, causing him to flinch. He hoped you didn't catch that.

He remembered his own regretful words as it replayed in his head. Just like your cries and pained expression, which he was unable to simply brush off, he couldn't forget how he mistreated you. And he would never forgive himself, either. The sight of your injured body laying there, all alone. He couldn't shake the scene off his mind, no matter how hard he tried. Even in his dreams.

Evident in his eyebags that seemed to have darkened in shade, he wasn't able to get much sleep the past couple days because of it.

"I take it you hate me, then," Levi suggested, prompting you to laugh mockingly.

"Oh, no, I could never," you said, sarcasm dripping off your voice as you fake fawned over Levi. "Levi Ackerman, Humanity's Strongest.. I just adore you."

Levi hid his offended expression and ignored your antics as he continued. "I was afraid I couldn't get the chance to apologize to you. When I found you there, I.." He squeezed his eyes shut and furrowed his brows together, forcing his tears not to fall. Why now?

"Yeah, well, you fucked up. About time you feel a little heartache," you mumbled, looking around the room, anywhere but Levi.

"A little?! Look, I'm trying to apologize here!" He shouted. "Do you have no idea how fucking terrified I've been for you, you brat?!"

"No, Captain Levi, so why don't you enlighten me on how much you care?!" You huffed, crossing your arms. "Because if you did, then maybe I wouldn't be bed ridden!"

Levi's face softened at the sight of a single tear escaping your eye. He took a seat on the bed beside you and reached out to brush away your tear.

With your quick reflexes, you caught his hand and pushed it back towards him.

"Don't you dare touch me. You've done enough damage, Levi. Just go and stop wasting my time."

Just like you, he was stubborn. He stood his ground.

"I-I'm sorry."

You let out an exasperated sigh. "You must think I'm stupid. No way I'm buying that bullshit."

"You need to stop pushing me away, Y/N!"

"What is that, an order?" You taunted. "You don't get to be sorry, Levi. It's too late for that. You waited for me to almost die just to tell me that? Is that what it takes? What if I hadn't survived? What then?"

"You don't think I haven't thought about that?! That's why I'm here!"

"Yeah, and who's fault is that?"

"You should've listened to me! I was trying to protect you!"

"Well thanks a lot. Now both my kneecaps are broken and I won't be able to walk for weeks!" You shake your head. "You think just because we shared a moment while I was dying that I'm okay now? Trust me, if I had the strength, I would have slapped you then and there."

"Then why don't you now?"

"At this point, you're not even worth getting angry over. So stop giving me that pitiful look. I really prefer you shouting at me instead. At least I'm used to it." You mumble the last part, but Levi catches it easily.

"That's it then, you leave me no choice." You look at Levi curiously. "You infuriate me, brat, you really do. You're so careless and oblivious all the time, you forget to look after yourself. And I'm not ready to watch you throw away your life so irrationally from the sidelines."

"So what are you trying to tell me, Levi?"

"Tch, you're just gonna make me say it, aren't you?" He takes a deep breath. "I'm not good at this, and I hate to admit it, to you of all people. It makes me mad to see you risk your life because I care about you.. and I can't lose you. I've dealt with too much death. I'll do whatever it takes to keep you alive, even if it means dying.." Levi trails off, then scoffs and crosses his arms like a petty little child. "I said it, all right? I like you-- A lot, you stupid brat!"

You searched Levi's eyes for any trace of dishonesty. You hoped he was lying, like he had some sort of script prepared before he came to see you. But you found no lies in his eyes.

You felt your heart break. All this time when you thought Levi just really hated you, he was looking out for you.

"I.. Why didn't you just tell me?" Your voice fell apart as you spoke. "I tried so hard to make you like me back.. And it hurt because I thought you just hated my guts. I had no idea."

"I know, I was being stupid too- It shouldn't have come to this," Levi admitted. "I.. I'll let you rest now."

Levi stood up to leave, but you were quick to pull him back onto the bed with you. Without letting him react, you grabbed his face and interlocked your lips with his. All the tension in his body disappeared and he melted into the kiss, throwing his arms around you tightly like he'd lose you if he ever let go. It wasn't a soft, romantic, movie perfect kiss. It was desperate, tongue and teeth, hands wandering, disheveling the other's hair. You released all of your built up anger and resent, letting it fuel you while you aggresively fought your tongue with his, a faint taste a hint of alcohol now on your own mouth. Occasionally you'd both break the kiss for short intakes of breath and small whispers like 'don't scare me like that again' and 'I've needed this for a while now'. You couldn't help but moan, earning a grin from Levi as he continued to hungrily devour your lips. Just as things escalated, you remembered you were still in the infirmary, and anyone could walk in any minute now. You slowly pulled away, your chest heaving as you panted for breath.

Levi couldn't help but twist his lips up into a little smirk. That was new.

"Well at least you're not a bad first kisser," he spoke nonchalantly, still gasping for air. You playfully punched him in the chest.

"Quite the romantic, aren't you?" You rolled your eyes but couldn't stop yourself from smiling like an idiot. "You're not bad either, old man."

Blush spread across his cheeks.

He took your hand in his, bringing it to his swollen and raw lips and placed a small kiss on your knuckles.

"Promise me you won't leave me again?"

"Promise," you sighed blissfully. "And I guess I'll have to tell Commander Erwin about my change of plans."

"Actually," a deep voice spoke. At the door, there stood none other than Commander Erwin. "I think I already know."

[daringyounggrayson]

whumptober day 4: pushed (AO3)

It’s raining. Normally, that’s a non-issue; Dick’s Nightwing suit is mostly waterproof, and his boots are designed to have excellent traction, even in less-than-ideal conditions. But this is pushing it. He’s on top of a moving train, his vision is limited due to the rain and his mask’s broken night vision, and his shoes are struggling to plant themselves firmly on the slippery train roof. And the rain is heavy, coming down in sheets, and the wind is howling, nearly knocking him over on more than one occasion—it’s the worst storm Bludhaven has had in years.

And then there’re the goons trying to knock him off the train. Now their fight has become a strange dance where Dick is trying to dodge blows while also making sure they don’t fall off in their attempts to kill him. The ridiculousness of trying to keep people who are trying to harm him safe is not lost on Dick.

If he could, he’d just stick trackers on them and call it a night, but that’s not an option—there are bombs hidden somewhere in the train and/or along its route. People could die.

A branch from a nearby tree falls onto the train, causing all three men to jump back, seeking cover. Dick nearly slips off again, and from their screams, he’s sure the other two do too. Dick is on his hands and knees, balancing there as he tries to figure out how to use this to his advantage. There’s an entrance a few cars ahead. If he’s quiet and stays out of their line of sight, they’ll probably assume he fell off the train. He could easily get past them and slip inside to stop the train and get everyone off before these two fools can even set off their bombs. Ideally, Dick would also find and disarm the bombs, but replacing a train and some of its tracks is something Dick can live with so long as no one gets hurt.

He lies down on his stomach, army crawling across the train’s roof, letting the branch block him from his enemies’ view. When he gets to the ladder, he slides his legs over the edge until his foot hits a rung. Then he leaps from one ladder to the next, catching the next rung with a tight grip. It would be faster to simply jump across the rooftops, but he needs to be as discrete as possible.

He’s nearly there—just a few yards left to go—when a gun goes off. He instinctively stills and covers his head, and a bullet bounces off the train several feet away from him. Normally, gunshots wouldn’t be a shock in this kind of scenario, but Dick’s already disarmed them, he—

He looks up to find a third partner. He’s just exited from the same place Dick was hoping to enter through, and he’s holding a gun with a shaking hand. Fantastic.

Dick moves like lightning—he charges the man and knocks the gun out of his hand before his trembling fingers can find the trigger.

“How many of your people are here right now?” Dick shouts above the wind, holding the man in a headlock.

“It doesn’t matter. it’s too late,” the man sneers. “You can’t stop us now.”

“That’s what they all say.” Dick swipes his legs and knocks him to the ground, pulling out handcuffs and attaching him to a nearby bar. “But you know what? I kind of like being underestimated.”

Dick stands, planning to walk back to the hatch and enter the train. He hasn’t even taken his first step when heavy footsteps charge toward him. Dick ducks just in time to avoid being body-slammed by one of the goons from the other train car, and the man stumbles, losing his balance and sliding along the length of the roof. He’s quick to get back up and charge Dick again, this time with raised fists and an animalistic screech.

“I’m kind of on a tight schedule here,” Dick calls as he engages in the fight. He really doesn’t have time for this; the train’s picking up speed.

A large gust of wind nearly knocks him over again, and his boots squeak as they try and fail to find traction. The thug lunges at him, tripping over his own feet but managing to land a weak hit against Dick’s shoulder.

It’s ridiculous that it’s enough to send him tipping over the edge.

He tries and fails to find his footing, only managing to slip backward further. He reflexively reaches out for the attacker’s hand, but he forces himself to retract; the odds of Dick pulling him down and killing him are higher than the odds of the man managing to hold their combined weight. As he falls over the edge, the tips of his fingers brush against the train car’s safety bar, but the rain prevents him from grasping it.

He hits the ground, tries to roll with the fall. The initial impact knocks the wind out of him, and he’s left gasping as sharp pain explodes over his head and back. When he finally stops, he’s covered in mud and blood, and every inch of him feels sore. It wasn’t a long fall, but it was fast and hard.

He pushes himself up on shaking elbows, watches as the blurry figures on the roof disappear into the train car. He’s not going to get back there; even if he had the time, even if he had super speed, he doesn’t think he can move. He needs help.

Dick presses his emergency beacon and calls Wally on his comms. He thinks he says something, but he must pass out, because next thing he knows, Wally’s tapping his cheek, begging him to wake up. He’s blurry, which doesn’t make sense, because Wally’s not running—the only thing moving is his hand, and it’s slow.

Instead of voicing his confusion, Dick vomits. Wally rolls him onto his side, talking too fast for Dick to understand.

In between gasps, Dick says, “The train. Bombs.” His voice sounds wrong to his own ears, slurred.

“You’re hurt,” Wally points out, hesitant. His hands are bloody. How did Wally get blood on his hands already?

“I don’t care—you have to save them!” Dick says, gritting his teeth and closing his eyes as the pain builds in his head. “Medical is on their way—go!”

oOo

Dick isn’t awake when the medical team arrives, but he does wake up, so he figures they did show up.

He raises his hand to rub at his eyes and finds an IV sticking out of it, stuck to his hand with clear tape. He turns his head, taking in the machines and monitors. He must be in the Watchtower’s ICU.

“Hey,” someone—Wally—whispers on the other side of the bed. “Are you awake?”

“Mmhmm,” Dick mumbles. He turns his head to face Wally, wincing. “Bombs?”

“I took care of it; no one got hurt,” Wally promises.

“Thanks.” Dick closes his eyes. The lights are dim, but they still feel too bright. “How long have I been out?”

“As in unconscious?” Wally sighs, and his chair creaks. “Well, uh, you were in a coma for almost three days. You woke up yesterday, but you’ve been pretty out of it. I’m honestly not confident that you’ll even remember this conversation.”

“Wanna bet?” Dick asks, a loopy smile crossing his face.

Wally laughs. “Sure, I could use ten dollars.”

“I’m going to remember.”

“Uh-huh.”

“I am.” This time Wally doesn’t protest, and Dick takes it as a win. After a moment, he asks, “I’m okay, though, right?”

“Oh sure. Spinal bruising and a brain hemorrhage have nothing on the Justice League’s medical technology and your stubbornness,” Wally says lightly. “What happened to you anyway?”

“Got pushed off a train,” Dick mumbles, words slurring together as he gets closer and closer to unconsciousness. “Probably landed head first on a rock.” He can barely remember the fight, barely remembers falling. Instead of a solid memory, it’s just a bunch of non-chronological snapshots.

“That tracks.” Wally shifts in his chair, and his fingers find their way to the back of Dick’s hand. “It was scary, finding you like that. I thought you were going to die.”

And Dick had told Wally to leave him anyway. He doesn’t regret doing it—someone has to make the hard calls—but he doesn’t envy Wally. “I’m fine,” he tries to reassure.

Wally’s voice is tight when he speaks. “Yeah, you’re going to be fine, because you’re you—but you weren’t fine. And you’re still not. Hell, you’re hooked up to a bunch of machines and you can’t even keep your eyes open.”

Dick opens his eyes and finds that Wally’s are shiny with unshed tears. “Wally.”

“Sorry, it’s just—” Wally shakes his head, wipes the back of his hand across his eyes. “Uh, can I get you anything? Last time I was here you were nauseous.”

“No, stomach’s fine, just tired.” He must be on a million drugs, too. He wonders how many he’ll have to add to his regimen because of this.

Wally nods, then looks down at his watch when it beeps. “I have to go—Watchtower duty. The rest of the original Titans said they were going to stop by later today, and Alfred and Bruce are outside waiting for me to finish, so you won’t be alone.”

Dick hums in acknowledgment. Then he says, “Thanks for coming, the other day and now.”

Wally leans in and hugs him gently, carefully. “Anytime. And take as much time as you need to heal. Seriously—the Titans will be okay without you for a while, even if Roy ends up leading.”

Dick laughs and nods into Wally’s shoulder, and then they let go. Wally leaves with a promise to be back soon, and Dick, determined to remember this conversation, reminds him to bring his ten dollars when he does.

[yesimwriting]

playing vices

“A/n a blurb bc ive been working on my novel and ive missed writing for Kirigan :))

--

I am a fool that has played into her vices enough to make them addictions. That must have been Kirigan's plan. He knows that I don't agree with his methods. He is also much too aware of the fact that I am beyond attached to him. He plays into that fact often, lulling me to him whenever he feels that my conscious is in danger of driving a wedge between us.

Which is why I have become accustomed to falling asleep while running my fingers along his skin as he whispers things much sweeter than anything he would say while fully awake.

But now it's late and he's not here. I sit up, kicking the comforter off of me slightly. It seems Aleksander has been more and more absent these days. When he's not with me, the odds that he's doing something that hurts people are high. His absence is also starting to make me feel like he's losing interest in me. It would make sense considering the fact that he looked twice at me in any capacity has never seemed logical.

Maybe that's why we've never indicated commitment to each other. I don't know what commitment would be with him. He seems to grand to be considered a 'boyfriend', but there's something more than friendly about how he holds onto me. I've never cared for labels until I started feeling displaced.

"You're still awake."

I press my lips together, trying to seem a little calmer. "Couldn't sleep."

"Troubling thoughts?" The question is more weighted than it should be. Everything with him is. 

“Has anyone ever called you dramatic?” 

His lips quirk upwards, hinting at a smile. Warmth pools in my stomach, the way it always does when he lets me see the slight glimmer of light that’s still in him. Sometimes I think he only shows me this softness when he feels that I may pull away. It may be rooted in manipulative intent, but I know that it’s real. 

“Only you would have the gall,” he says, voice low yet not dark. 

Kirigan’s easiness coaxes a smile from my lips. A small one, but I can feel the way the crack in my tension feeds his confidence. He takes pride in slipping past the walls I only try to create when cautious or irritated. Today I’m both but I need to pretend like I’m neither. The more resistance he senses, the more forward and effective his advances become. 

I keep my expression neutral. I’m sure Alina could get away with calling him that. I wish she was more unlikable. It would be easier to hide my irritation if I could blame that displaced feeling in my chest on two people. But of course Alina is wonderful, beautiful, and his equal.

Whatever. It’s not like we’re really anything. Every time I see him I wait for his betrayal. There’s nothing worth using me for, and somehow that makes me feel worse. He should have never looked at me twice let alone encourage whatever strange relationship we’ve created. 

My silence seems to displease him because he approaches my bedside easily in quick yet patient strides. Now that he’s close enough to touch I feel some of the ice I managed to solidify melt. 

Kirigan lifts a hand and places it on my knee easily. I stiffen instinctually, he runs his thumb over my skin to fight my resistance. “Who’s upset you?” 

I breathe, forcing myself to ease. “No one has.” I don’t have to meet his gaze to know he doesn’t believe me. That’s the core source of our attachment, we can read each other with less than a look. “I’m just getting a headache,” not a full lie, “I’ll feel better after some sleep.” He squeezes my knee slightly, a soft way of asking me for more. “I don’t think I’ll be good company tonight.” 

His hand leaves my knee, fingertips barely grazing my thigh as he moves his hand to hold beneath my chin. I still as he turns my head so that I have no choice but to meet his gaze. “You don’t need to be good company when what I want is your presence.” 

I press my lips together to avoid melting into the promising pools of warmth that make up his irises. He spent all day with Alina, took Zoya’s side in an argument I had with her earlier this week, and now he comes to me late at night. He seems to only want to acknowledge me when we’re alone, and it’s not like I want more than that. I just don’t know how long my heart will be able to teeter the line between nothing and something. I’m a fool for having let it go on this long. 

The only problem is that his steady stare is chasing away all of my rationality. “I’m sure you’ll be able to find someone more in the mood to offer their presence.” 

My curtness leaves something behind his expression dull, the hint of a smile that was growing on him has now vanished. I am met with a stoic disposition I have never had directed at me. 

“They’re not you,” he counters, voice edged by something I don’t understand. 

That’s the point. They’re not me--I’m average. I can’t offer power and my relationship experience is basic at best. I don’t want to have this argument, not when I’m basically fighting for him to let me go when that’s not what I want. 

I’m making it easier. If it hurts this much when I was only on the cusp of something, imagine the pain I’l feel if I let it continue. I turn my head away so that he’s no longer holding my chin. “Not a bad thing.” 

“To me it is.” He doesn’t hesitate, my chest swells. His thumb brushes against my cheek, soft and comforting. “I’m tired,” he says this like it’s a confession. His admission hangs in the air for a long moment, as heavy and weighted as my heart. “If you’re angry, wait until morning.” 

Something in my heart cracks. “I’m not angry.” My gaze drops, my thoughts struggling to come together. “I’ll be nicer to deal with in the morning.” 

“Y/n,” his tone twists from distant to warning, “the last time you asked me to leave was when you discovered something you didn’t like.” 

I almost wince at the way he’s worded it. When I found out what his real plans were, I told myself I had to leave. He skirted past all of my reservations and walls, twisting my doubt away through coddling whispers and shy brushes of fingers.

“This isn’t like that.” Not a lie. 

He exhales slowly, the sound dangerously sharp. “Then what is it?” 

“Why did you come here so late?” The question leaves me too sharply. I’m exposing too much but I can’t help it. “If you don’t want to answer, that’s fine.” My voice is flat. “I’m sure Alina will be happy to fill me in.” I can’t bring myself to take in his reaction. “And if she can’t, I’m sure Zoya will be able to.” 

He’s silent for a long second. “Unwarranted jealousy doesn’t suit you.” 

His confidence sparks something angry within me.  “I am not jealous.” The most blatant lie of the night, but I don’t care. I turn my head to glare at him, “and don’t just tact on ‘unwarranted’ before something that’s true just because it’s easier for it not to be.” 

I watch his expression cautiously until the slightest tilt of his lips adds to my anger. He’s enjoying this or he did this intentionally or both. “Darling,” he hums, voice soft, “you are the only person that makes me feel peace.” 

My stomach flutters, the sensation threatening to break my weak resolve. “I am not particularly powerful,” I breathe, voice stiff, “or particularly...” How do I explain this all to him? “Anything.” He’s everything, and I am nothing but average. “I’m average at best, there’s no reason for you to want anything to do with me, and that’s fine--but don’t lie and pretend that that’s not true.” 

The sentence is barely out fo my mouth before I feel myself pulled towards him by the collar of my nightgown. His lips are on mine before I can question where this is going. I kiss him back too quickly, but any effort I expend is returned fervently.

He pushes me back slightly as quickly as he yanked me forward. He doesn’t explain. I don’t ask him to. I should demand an answer and shove him away from me or pull him back towards me. But I do nothing. I just stare at him as he stares at me. 

When the weight of the silence threatens to break something in me, I force myself to speak, “Kirigan--”

“Aleksander.” The name is soft and so fragile I worry it will shatter in the air before it can fully reach me. “You know there’s much I’m not ready to say, but that,” he exhales, the sound so sad I want to reach for him, “that is the one name I have not given to myself and I want you to have it.” Something conflicted crosses his features. “I would never give that to someone average.” 

Emotion swells in my chest, heavy yet not painful. “Aleksander.” I’m not sure if I’m trying to call to him or if I’m just trying to feel his name--his true name--on my lips. 

His eyes widen, something unbearable behind them. He moves the hand holding the collar of my nightgown to my cheek. I lean into the contact like a fool as his eyes flutter shut. “Say it again.” 

I don’t hesitate, “Aleksander.” I lift my hand, fingers hesitant to find their place on his cheek. “Aleksander.”

He sighs into both the contact and the name. “You’re the first thing I’ve allowed myself to want,” his eyes open, but I cannot bring myself to meet his gaze, “I should make you feel like it.”

Something about the way he says that is sad. “I think that if it’s fair to say you were a little distant, it’s just as fair to say that I was a little jealous.” 

Aleksander smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “I’m tired,” he admits, “I’ll enjoy my victory in the morning.” 

I roll my eyes, but scoot over to give him a place by my side regardless. “I’m not sure you won, I think it was more of a draw.” 

He takes the space I offer quickly, never letting the contact between us disappear as he settles himself against my pillow. I let him pull me towards him. “This feels like a victory.” 

I try to ignore the warmth in my chest. “You’re lucky I’m tired enough to find that endearing.” 

I relax as his fingers trace shapes I’ll never know about onto my back. “I agree.” 

[scones-and-texting-and-murder]

Bookends

(This story was originally written for and published in the DeanCas Anthology back in 2018. )

Word Count: 2223 Rating: General ao3 link

Cas pulls as close to the door as he can, checking the rearview mirror to make sure he isn’t blocking traffic as he waits for Dean to get out of the car. Before heading inside, Dean ducks his head back in to smile at him. “I’ll get us some coffee.”

Instead of driving away, Cas stays there, watching until Dean pulls open the diner door. Leaning heavily on his cane, he shuffles more than walks, his bow-legged gait made stiff by the arthritis that wracks his joints. Cas waits until he’s safely inside, then pulls past the open handicapped space Dean stubbornly refuses to use, and finds an empty parking spot.

Cas’s car is boxy and utilitarian, and Dean often proclaims that he wouldn’t be caught dead behind the wheel of something so ugly. Cas plays along because giving up driving had been Dean’s toughest concession to age, but as his vision deteriorated and his reflexes slowed, it had become an unavoidable sacrifice. With replacement parts for the Impala harder and harder to come by, Dean had finally agreed to keep her stored safely away in their garage. Cas knew it pained him to see her shrouded under a tarp, her motor idle and useless, but Dean would rather enshrine her in pristine condition than risk one more run-in with a light pole or curb.

With his ugly car parked, Cas crosses the lot to join Dean inside. While he’s aged as well, aged to the point that nobody questions the two of them together, he’s been spared many of the maladies that Dean’s combat-wrecked body has endured, and he moves with relative ease. The best they can figure is that the grace he’d had on and off over the years left his body with a certain resilience to the passage of time. Cas can’t cure Dean as he once could, can’t ease the aches or slow the aging process, but he can use his own comparatively good health and mobility to take care of him.

Inside, Cas navigates past the hostess stand to find Dean at their usual booth, chatting with their usual waitress. The two of them go to this diner religiously each Sunday morning, where the pews are scuffed burgundy vinyl booths and the altar is the breakfast buffet with the generous senior discount. As always, Dean has maneuvered himself across the bench seat to make room for Cas to sit beside him. His cane rests against the wall in easy reach, the simple carved wooden handle belying the fact that the base unscrews to reveal a bayonet-like tip. It’s never been wielded as a weapon (although Dean uses it, still sheathed, to poke at aggressive pigeons who muscle in around their favorite park bench), but that potential made it “badass” enough to overcome Dean’s resistance to using it.

To Sam’s everlasting chagrin, Dean has kept all of his hair, and it’s turned a stunning silver. The crinkles around his eyes have deepened, meeting the roadmap of lines that cross his face. His shoulders are stooped, his joints are stiff, and Cas thinks he’s never been more beautiful. After so many seemingly certain ends, so many years assuming Dean would die young and bloodied, the fact that he’s living out a full, lengthy life is an unparallelled blessing. Cas marvels at the gift of days that have unfolded into decades, granting them time he never dreamed they’d have together here on earth.

As Cas settles into the booth, he smiles and greets their waitress.

“Two for the buffet?” she confirms as she pours their coffee. Cas doesn’t even have to check to know that she’ll leave Dean’s at a little more than half-full so he can lift it without the tremor in his hands sloshing it over the brim.

They drink their coffee quietly, simply enjoying the ritual of being here. Dean peers at the laminated card that lists the specials, even though he never orders off the menu.

“Shall I?” When Dean nods, Cas gets to his feet. “Any requests?”

“You know what I like,” Dean says, leaning over to swat at Cas’s butt.

Picking up two plates from the warmer, Cas slides them along the metal counter, filling them in tandem as he traverses the buffet. Pancakes are too difficult for Dean to get on a fork, but the crisp waffles are good. Bacon he can pick up and eat, and Cas uses the tongs to place precisely two strips on his plate. If Dean wants more, he can get up and get it himself.

Dean can argue with Cas’s choices, but they’d had a hell of a scare a few years back. Cas will never forget the look on Dean’s face when their phone rang in the middle of the night, alerting them that Sam had been taken to the hospital in an ambulance. They’d rushed there themselves, Cas driving in silence, knowing that nothing short of seeing Sam with his own two eyes could reassure Dean. Thankfully, it had been a mild heart attack and, after spending a few days in the hospital, the discharge plan called for cardiac rehab and an appointment with a nutritionist. With Sam’s release imminent, Dean had relaxed enough to crow at the irony. “Don’t either of you try to tell me what to eat ever again. Mr. Organic Produce is the one lying in the hospital bed while my pork-rind-fueled ticker is going strong.”

Still pale, Sam’s brow furrowed with resignation. “I’m beginning to think you can’t die.”

Dean jabbed a finger in his direction. “You don’t get to go first. We have a deal.”

“Yes, sir.” Sam lifted the hand without the IV in a mock salute.

“That’s more like it,” Dean said. “Speaking of which, I need a snack.”

Cas helped him up and they walked to the elevator that would take them to the cafeteria. As they waited for it to arrive, Dean pulled Cas into a hug. Cas left a hand on his shoulder when they stepped apart again. “All right?”

Dean nodded, his green eyes shining with tears. “I’m glad you’re here.” Cas started to respond, to remind him that there was nowhere else he would be, but Dean cut him off. “I know you know. But I wanted to say it anyhow.”

Cas noticed a change after that. Dean was still the same stubborn mule Cas had fallen in love with, but he gradually became more willing to let Cas help. And somehow, Cas loved him even more for it. He loved seeing the slow-blossoming acceptance that came when Dean stopped seeing Cas’s help as a sign of weakness.

Now, standing in front of the steaming trays of food, Cas considers what else to add to their plates. He bypasses the cauldron of oatmeal (they eat that at home most mornings) and continues along the buffet. There’s a tremendous satisfaction in being allowed to care for this man who has done so much for so many and asked for so little in return. In fact, Dean has now embraced this new role so fully—no longer questioning what he deserves, or grudgingly accepting help, but full-on enjoyment of being doted on—that Cas has to be careful he doesn’t get lazy. There’s nothing Cas would rather do than settle Dean in front of a sunny window, snug in the recliner for Cas to wait on like a pampered cat, but he knows that sort of inactivity would do Dean’s joints and his heart no favors. So he watches Dean’s diet and insists on them taking slow walks after breakfast when his energy is highest.

Their neighborhood is a mix of young and old and everyone knows the two Mr. Winchesters who circle the block on days when the weather permits. The kids on bikes and scooters know to give them a wide berth, their parents warning them that the old men need the entire sidewalk, but they call out their hellos as they go by. They’re friendly with everyone except the woman who lives on the corner. Dean is convinced she’s a demon, but Cas suspects his distrust of her stems more from the fact that she seems immune to his charm. (Whatever the reason, he’s had to talk Dean out of chalking a devil’s trap inside her mailbox more than once.) They chat with their neighbors about the weather and the score of last night’s ballgame, and it’s so painfully normal that Cas sometimes feels his throat tighten up at the wonder of it all.

When Cas returns to their booth, Dean examines his plate. “They outta bacon?”

Cas cuts the waffle into manageable pieces and peels the wrapper from the muffin before sliding Dean’s plate over. “You know the deal.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Dean says. “You just like to look at my ass when I get up.”

They eat in congenial silence with Dean methodically working his way around his plate, eating everything heartily, even the fruit. Sitting next to him, Cas can easily scoop up any bites that miss his mouth, plucking them from Dean’s lap or his shirt.

“You two good?” The waitress asks when she comes to refill their coffees. “Need anything?”

Dean swallows the bite of muffin he’s working on, and rests his hand on top of Cas’s. “I’ve got everything I need right here. An actual angel, this one.”

She nods agreeably. “I can almost see his halo.”

Cas has learned that an old man can say just about anything and receive an indulgent smile in return. When Dean references angels or demons or the apocalypse, people assume he’s speaking in metaphor and they’ll nod pleasantly. Sometimes he’ll do it purely for effect, telling rambling tales from their past for the sheer enjoyment of being able to speak openly. He can’t always keep the details straight, but Cas is there to remind him. Some days, though, he seems to lose where he is in time, and there’s nothing Cas can do for that. Cas has taken to keeping a watchful eye on him in the late afternoons when he likes to doze on the couch with their one-eyed black cat curled up on his chest. Cas stays close in case he wakes from his nap agitated, calling for Cas, wanting to know where Sam is. Cas helps him to sit up as the cat springs down and scurries away.

“Don’t go,” he says again and again, and Cas takes him in his arms, assuring Dean that he’s here and reminding him that Sam is safe at his own home. He holds him until Dean shakily dismisses it all as just a bad dream.

The unfairness of it overwhelms Cas, and each time he’s left filled with wrath. These final years should be spent in well-earned peace, but instead Dean seems cursed with reliving his most frightening memories, traumatized anew by old, familiar fears. If Dean’s mind is destined to slip, why can’t it be toward blissful forgetting? What Dean has endured goes beyond what any human should; to ask him to bear it again is nothing short of cruel. But it’s a torture chamber created in his own mind, and all Cas can do is sit helplessly by, doing his best to ground Dean and bring him back to the present.

Cas looks at Dean’s empty plate. “Did you want to get some more?”

“Nah.” He’s full and happy and it’s time for their walk.

The waitress arrives to clear their plates. As he does every week, Dean asks if she needs to see his ID for the senior discount. As she does every week, she pretends to consider it before leaving the check. “You boys take your time.”

“Tip her well,” Dean says, leaning in to supervise Cas as he signs the bill.

“I always do,” Cas assures him.

When they’re ready to leave, Cas stands next to the banquette, waiting for Dean to retrieve his cane and slide himself to the edge. Using a combination of the cane and Cas’s extended arm, Dean hoists himself upright, groaning a little. Cas keeps a firm hold on him until he’s steady on his feet. Dean still dresses in layers, but these days it’s because he gets chilled easily. He favors heavy knit cardigans and as long as Cas gets the zipper started for him he can tug it up or down as needed. Cas checks him for crumbs then together they walk through the other tables crowded with families. They continue by the hostess station where a woman is wiping down menus. “See you next week,” she calls as they pass.

Cas steps forward to push open the door, and stands holding it. “Watch your step,” he says as he always does, pointing toward the raised metal threshold of the doorway.

Using his cane to steady himself, Dean shuffles his way over it, then stops to lay his hand on Cas’s cheek. His knuckles are gnarled, the skin of his palm is dry and warm, and Cas feels the same flare of awe go through him as he has since the moment he first found this glorious soul in the depths of hell.

“I am the luckiest man who has ever lived,” Dean says.

Cas kisses his palm, then takes his arm to help him on his way.

[hangovercurse]

Ice Cold Pool

Part v of the Without You series: Colson and Y/N try to return to normal, but they still don’t know what normal actually is.

Colson x Reader

Warnings: Cursing (as per usual), substance use, people not following social distancing guidelines.

A/N: Seriously guys, wear your masks, social distance, etc. I really wanna go to a concert sometime in the next 2 years.

Word Count: 2743

| i | ii | iii | iv | vi | 

masterlist

It had been 4 weeks since you and Colson had made the agreement to just be friends. Obviously, there were some hiccups in this plan. Most notably that hanging around Colson reminded you of all the reasons you loved him in the first place, and thus all the reasons you shouldn’t hang around him.

You were glad to be back to somewhat normal. You could hang around your friends without feeling too much tension, you could talk to Casie (who wanted to know everything that happened), and you could smoke again.

That last one you probably shouldn’t have been so happy about, but after a month without weed, you needed it.

Of course, not everything was back to normal. You and Colson weren’t technically… speaking. Yet.

You said simple things to each other, “excuse me,” “thank you,” and even the occasional “bless you” after a sneeze. But you had yet to have an actual conversation since that night. When hanging around the guys, you tried to be as normal as possible, interacting with Colson as little as possible. You didn’t want anyone else to think you felt awkward, because then they would feel awkward and it would be a whole awkward mess.

Tonight, you were hoping to ease some tension between you and Colson. Trippie was releasing the deluxe version of his new album and was having a “covid safe” album release party. All that meant was they would party outside rather than inside and only invite half the amount of people that they normally would.

Against your better judgement, Slim and Baze convinced you to go.

“There’s not even gonna be that many people there.”

“And Trippie would be so upset if you didn’t come.”

“If I go, will you two shut up?”

“Yes.” “Yes ma’am”

“Don’t call me ma’am ever again, Slim.”

So, you made a plan to talk to Colson at some point that night about something other than all of your problems with each other. If and only if the opportunity presented itself.

So, there you were in an oversized Misfits T-shirt that looked like a dress on you and shorts that no one could see, a beer in one hand, and a blunt in the other. You were sitting at the pool edge, your feet dangling in the water, as you talked to Iann Dior about cheese.

You may have been pretty tipsy, but he was worse.

“Cheddar cheese is the worst possible flavor of cheese.” Iann shook his head, laughing.

“Absolutely not. You can put cheddar in dishes, and they taste great. Cheddar makes things taste better. Brie cheese is the worst cheese. It’s literally fucking moldy.” You giggled, taking a swig of your drink.

“You’re both wrong. Feta cheese is the absolute worse and no one will convince me otherwise.” Colson chuckled, sitting next to you.

“There is nothing wrong with feta cheese, you two are just uncultured.” You laughed, the opportunity you needed apparently presenting itself. You took a quick glance at Colson, who was about to dip his feet in the water. “Colson your shoes are still on.”

He looked at you confused, and you realized just how high he was. “So?” he asked and Iann laughed.

“Dude, if you’re gonna put your feet in the water you gotta take your shoes off.”

Colson broke out laughing at Iann’s comment, his whole body shaking with joy. He slipped his shoes off once he finished and dangled his feet of the edge.

“So, you really think cheddar cheese is the best cheese?” He asked, taking a sip of his beer.

“Noooo.” You whined, “I just don’t think it’s the worst kind of cheese. But obviously there are better cheeses.” You kicked your feet up, splashing Colson on accident.

He looked over at you, a mischievous glint in his eye. He reached his hand into the water, splashing water towards you. “Colson!” You squealed, laughing.

You returned the favor by flicking water at his shirt, at which point Iann left. “You get me wet and you die.” He said with a laugh.

Colson then cupped his hands together, bringing water up to your shirt and pouring it all over you, much to your dismay. Luckily, your shirt was black, but the water was still freezing. “Bro.” You pouted, looking over at Colson. He was smiling, but soon mimicked your pout.

“Aww, I’m sorry. Did the little princess get wet?” Your eyes went wide, and you slapped his chest. He grabbed your hand, pulling it up so you couldn’t hit him and accidentally pulling you closer to him. “I didn’t mean it like that!” He laughed, his hand intertwining with yours as he brought it back down.

“Colson…” You trailed off, warning him. He pouted, a sigh leaving his lips as he unlocked your fingers.

“Sorry, forgot I’m not supposed to do that.” You smiled a little, glad that things were slowly becoming normal. “I wanna go for a swim.” He changed the topic, standing up and pulling his shirt off.

“Colson it’s freezing. You’re gonna get sick.” You looked at him with wide eyes but a giggle falling from your mouth.

“Guess someone has to come in to keep me warm.” He shrugged, tugging his shorts down his legs so he was just in his boxers.

It was only at this point that you realized he was very drunk. A few moments later you felt the cold water splash your face as Colson jumped into the pool near you, coming up and running his hand through his hair.

He made his way back over to you, reaching for the beer that he left on the side of the pool. He half-stood in front of you, a needy smile on his face. “Get in the water with me Y/N.” He dragged out the last syllable of your name, causing you to roll your eyes.

“There is no way in hell I am getting in that water.” You chuckled, taking a hit of the joint in your hand.

Colson pouted, taking the blunt from you and smoking it himself. “I guess I could always just pull you in.” He grabbed your thighs and you moved backwards, fighting him.

“Colson, I don’t have a change of clothes, I’ll be cold.” You tried to squirm out of his grip, giggling.

“You can just wear my shirt or something. Someone will have something.” He shrugged, pulling you into the water.

“Colson!” You squealed before your entire body was encased in the cold liquid.

“Too late.” He said, a cheeky smile on his face. His arms wrapped around you as you turned to face the edge, ready to get out. “Noooo, you’re already in here.” He whined, dragging you towards his chest.

“Colson, it’s freezing. We need to get out.” You said, turning your head to face him.

“I don’t want to. This is the closest I’ve been to you in weeks. I just wanna enjoy this for a moment.” His head rested on top of your head, and you let yourself fall back into his chest.

You had to admit, you did miss his playfulness and his touch, and you really hadn’t been this close to him in a while. But you knew he wouldn’t be doing any of this if he wasn’t both drunk and stoned out of his mind.

You sighed, knowing you needed to end the moment, if not for your own sanity. “C’mon Col, we can’t do this. Let’s get out.”

He groaned. “We did this when we were friends before, how is this any different from that?”

You made your way to the edge of the pool. “It just is Colson.” You sighed, trying to mask the anger in your voice. You tried to pull yourself up to sit on the edge of the pool, but you couldn’t quite make it the first time. Colson, of course, took it upon himself to help you, grabbing your hips lightly to lift you up. He got out and sat next to you, both of you soaking wet.

He reached over and grabbed the shirt he was wearing earlier, passing it to you. “Here, so you don’t get sick.” He seemed to be sobering up, probably due to the cold water.

“Thanks.” Your voice was hushed, your cheeks burning with a blush that you couldn’t explain. It’s just a shirt, you told yourself. You stood up, preparing yourself to find somewhere private to change.

“Where are you going?” Colson asked, looking up at you.

“To change.” You said bluntly. “I can’t exactly strip in front of 40 people.”

Colson nodded, standing up next to you, pulling his shorts on. “Where are you going?” You asked him, a small smile on your face.

“Wherever you are.” He smiled and you rolled your eyes.

“Okay, I guess I can use you to clear my path inside.” You chuckled, starting to walk towards the crowd of people near the doors of the house. As you moved through the crowd you found yourself instinctively reaching back for Colson’s hand, not wanting to lose him as you moved through the crowd. He happily took the hint and moved closer to you, his free hand resting on your hip to help guide you to the doors, though you didn’t mind as much as you should have.

You made your way through the open glass door, suddenly very self-conscious about the clothes you were wearing and the fact that you were soaking wet. “Bathroom is this way.” Colson mumbled into your ear as the loud music blasted around you. The hand on your hip led you down a small hallway until you found the open bathroom.

You went in, turning to close the door when you saw Colson had followed you in. “I gotta change, Kells. You can’t be in here.”

“Woah woah woah.” He started, clearly offended, “You never call me Kells. That’s not allowed.” You giggled, rolling your eyes. “And I’ll just… look away.” He covered his eyes with his hands, moving his fingers to form a gap.

“Colson, seriously,” You laughed, “turn around.” He thankfully did as told, and you quickly removed the Misfits shirt you were previously wearing and replaced it with his long sleeve pink shirt. It wasn’t quite as long as the other one you were wearing, but it still went down to your upper thigh and the sleeves went far enough past your wrist for permanent sweater paws. Unfortunately, this meant you would have to keep your wet shorts on.

Upon realizing this, you let out a sigh of disappointment. “What?” Colson questioned, still facing the wall.

“You can look now.” He turned around. “It’s not as long as mine.” You pouted, stretching your arms out for him to see before flopping them back down to your sides.

Colson chuckled, “I really don’t see the problem, Y/N.”

You glared playfully, “I have to wear my wet fuckin shorts.” You whined, a pout on your lips.

“I meannn, you don’t have to.” Colson said, playfully. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding! But I don’t know what to do to help you.”

You let out a dramatic sigh, looking off into the distance. “I’m not giving you my pants, Y/N.” Another dramatic sigh. “Okay fine we’ll just go to his laundry room and through them in the dryer, okay?”

“See, you do know what to do to help me.” You smiled, grabbing your wet shirt and pushing Colson out of the bathroom.

The laundry room in Trippie’s house was surprisingly small, given his house was a small mansion. You were able, however, to close the door and pull off your wet clothes. Colson threw your shirt in the dryer as well.

You hopped up onto the washer, your legs dangling off. “You don’t have to stay, Colson.” You told him, knowing he probably wanted to rejoin the party.

“I’m good. This is much more fun than whatever’s going on out there.”

You laughed, “waiting for my clothes to dry? Whatever, loser.”

He moved towards you, his stomach touching your knees. “I’ve missed this.” He said, softly. You met his eyes with your own. “Just us doing stupid shit. Being friends.”

“We’re still friends, Cols.” You smiled, tilting your head to the side.

He sighed, “Yeah but we haven’t really been friends since…” He trailed off, but you knew what he meant. “Not real friends, at least.”

You sighed, trying to decide what you wanted to say. “I’m sorry about that. I just needed a little bit of space and it never felt like the right time to… talk. Like if we started talking in a group everyone would just think it’s weird.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” his hand reached out to touch your waist. “If anything, I should be apologizing. It’s my fault we’re stuck in this weird limbo shit anyways. I was honestly afraid the guys would kill me if I talked to you.”

“Well, good thing it’s not up to the guys anymore.” Your voice got soft as you realize how close your faces had gotten. “And we can be normal friends again.” You added.

Colson looked down. “Yeah, normal friends.” He tried to hide the disappointment in his voice but failed miserably.

“Colson, we’re just friends, right?” You asked, trying to convince yourself more than him.

He nodded, “Yeah, we’re just friends.” He looked up and met your eyes, and you could see the emotions in his crystal blue eyes. “But I don’t know that I can just be friends.” His voice was soft, making your heart sink deeper.

His head was inches away from yours, his nose almost touching your own. He leaned his head to the side, his eyes traveling your face. His lips were millimeters from yours. “Tell me that you don’t want this, and I’ll walk out right now.”

“I…” You couldn’t form a sentence with his lips so close to your own. “We shouldn’t.” You whispered.

“That’s not what I asked.” He paused, touching his nose to yours lightly. When he spoke, you could feel his words on your lips. “Do you want me to kiss you right now?”

You couldn’t answer him for a few seconds. “I don- I don’t know Colson.” You breathed out, leaning your forehead against his.

Part of you was hoping he would take matters into his own hands and just kiss you, but the other part of you knew you would regret anything that happened right now.

He jerked his head away from you, a frown etched across his face. “When are you gonna make up your goddamn mind? I can never figure out where I’m at with you.” His voice raised slightly, making you jump. “One minute we’re not even talking and the next you’re holding my fucking hand at a party. You say we’re just friends and then don’t say no when I ask if you want me to kiss you. Like what the fuck is this?” He ranted, causing your grip on the edge of the washer to tighten.

“Colson, I told you. I need time to figure all of this out. It doesn’t just happen overnight.” You tried to keep your voice calm.

“It’s been weeks, Y/N. How long do you need?”

Confusion took over your features, and then anger. “Colson do you even realize what you did? Honestly, you’re fucking lucky I even wanted to be friends. You kind of screwed me up, really bad. So, excuse me for needing time to figure out if you’re worth it or not.” Your eyes fell to the floor, suddenly very self-conscious of all the things Colson had said to you 2 months ago.

Colson scoffed, backing away from you, “Well honestly it would be a lot easier if we weren’t friends.” His words were harsh, and you were reminded that he wouldn’t change, not really. “Y/N I didn’t mean it like that.” His voice became soft, but it was already too late.

You hopped off the machine, pushing past him and pulling your damp shirt and shorts out of the dryer. With your back facing him, you pulled your shorts on and then took his shirt off, replacing it with your own.

“Y/N I’m sorry I jus-“

“No, Colson. I’m sorry. I keep forgetting that my existence seems to be the bane of yours.” You shove his shirt into his chest. “You don’t have to worry about me anymore.” You walked out of the small room and through the house, determined to call a cab home.

[zukkoxx]

mha boys realizing they’re in love pt.1

w/ deku, bakugo

tw⚠️ insecurities!, self doubt!

deku 🥦

izuku knew he loved you since you guys started dating.

he had liked you for a long time, and when you finally got together in your last year of UA, he couldn’t have been happier.

he planned on living the rest of his life with you. and would go through any feats to make it possible.

so when you started to feel doubts about your relationship? that was a wake up call for him.

you had just finished training, all sweaty and tired, walking back to your dorm with a towel around your neck.

you scrolled through your phone mindlessly, and just happened to come across a twitter post about your boyfriend, deku, who had just taken down one of the villains that’s been on the run for months.

you smiled. you were so proud of him. already achieving his dream in becoming one of the greatest heroes. and getting the recognition he finally deserved.

you made it your your dorm, slumping on your bed as you read some of the comments.

woah this guy is still attending UA!? he’ll be a great hero for sure

there’s no one like him!

deku strikes again! what a stud😍

you laughed at some, grimaced at others that claimed the mission was too easy for him. but one particular comment had you freezing in your spot.

is he single? i won’t hesitate to run to the scene and give him my hand in marriage right now!

you knew it was a fun, lighthearted comment. but you clicked the the commenters page and instantly noticed how beautiful as preppy she was.

she was also a big deku fan...probably had more merch than you.

you sighed and threw your phone across the bed.

for the past few weeks, you had been thinking about how different you and izuku were in terms of success.

you were both in your last year of high school, and he had already done so much.

worked on so many cases with pro heroes and went through successful missions all the time. he was destined to become the greatest hero.

and you?

well, you’ve never even caught a villain.

sure you’ve helped out on low grade missions for the hero you interned under, but you had never been publicly praised like izuku. you never stood out.

you had trouble believing you’d become a hero at all.

you always wondered, wouldn’t izuku be better off with someone that could keep up with him? who wouldn’t hold him back. someone who he wouldn’t leave in the dust when he excelled in the future.

he deserved someone better.

your thoughts were cut off when your dorm door brushed open, revealing no other than the man himself.

izuku walked into your room with worried eyes and seemed out of breath.

“y/n? ive texted and called a bunch of times. why haven’t you answered?” he asked, and you subtly turned to your phone that you discarded on the other half of the bed.

“my ringer was off. sorry izu.” you tired to give him a smile as he sat next to you on your bed. “i saw an article about your mission today. you were amazing!” you complimented.

“ahh you give me too much credit. i couldn’t have dont anything with the pro heroes and other people helping.”

“still, you’re a great hero. i wish i was like that.” you chuckle dryly, past insecurities already pushing forward again.

“what!? you’re a great hero y/n!” izuku exclaimed.

“i’ve barely done anything izuku. i don’t know how you put up with me. i should be able to help you on your missions, but i’m stuck in the same position i have been in. i don’t know when i’ll improve.”

you didn’t mean to sound so pathetic, but you had been feeling this way for so long. it was all just spilling out now.

and izuku? he literally stopped breathing when he heard what you were saying about yourself. “you deserve someone that will be able to keep up with you. what will people think when they find out the amazing deku is dating a weak, incapable, good for nothing-”

“don’t say one more word y/n.” izuku cuts you off, and you look up to meet his eyes piercing yours.

they were dark, nothing like their usual gleaming glow that shined when he looked at you.

there was no sign of amusement on any of his features. just dead seriousness

“what the hell are you talking about y/n?” he asks, but doesn’t give you a chance to respond. “you’re one of the most courageous, brave, intelligent, capable people i know! where is all of this coming from?”

“i’ve been thinking about it for a while. it’s just you’re so...amazing and i’m so...” you knew anything you could have said after that would make him even more angry. it was nothing positive.

god he probably hated you for being so insecure.

“you’re you, y/n.” izuku says softly. “you’re you and you’re who i love. i don’t care about what i do, what you do, who says what! i love you for you!”

izuku looks at you with so much love and compassion. you stared into his eyes, wondering what was gong on in his head.

well? at the moment he despised himself for letting you feel this way.

you were his whole world! the person who supported you in everything he did and he would support you in the same way! he couldn’t understand why you were feeling this way when he was literally...in love with you.

he loved you yeah of course, but hearing the way you were speaking about yourself, and how you had doubts about your relationship made his heart physically hurt. he was absolutely and unconditionally in love with you and wouldn’t be able to see himself with anyone else.

and he needed you to hear it.

“y/n you’re my everything! i’m so in love with you, no amount of fame or recognition could make me even think about leaving you!” izuku said urgently, and he finally calmed down when he saw a slight smile reach your lips.

a real one this time.

the conversation continued, and izuku promised to let you learn and remember how in love he was with you until it was the last thing he’d do.

bakugo 💥

bakugo would never pursue anyone unless he definitely knew he loved them.

so of course he never asked you out when he couldn’t differentiate if what he felt for you was love, or if it was a stupid little crush.

he didn’t like thinking about his feelings, especially the irrelevant ones.

he was trying to become the number one hero. who needed time for love anyways?

so he ignored his “feelings” for you, not allowing them to confuse him any longer.

it wasn’t until a few months into his third year when bakugo got the worst news of his life.

you were on a mission. an important one that had you absent from school for weeks.

bakugo was worried.

he’d text you every few days, asking what was going on and how things were and you’d always respond with “it’s fine.” or “we’re hanging in there.”

he assumed it was a pretty difficult mission, but nothing you couldn’t handle.

you were strong

so when he heard from a certain icy-hot that you were in the hospital in critical condition after completing the mission, he forgot about everything and ran straight to you.

ignoring aizawa’s calls, he almost blasted himself out of UA and checked every hospital for you, considering he didn’t even ask todoroki which one you were in before he left.

when he finally reached the hospital holding you, he sprinted to your room.

he found you hooked up to a bunch of wires and tests.

you looked peaceful, sleeping while the heart monitor beeped beside you.

but you looked horrible. bloody bandages covered almost every limb, and your body was covered in bruises.

bakugo’s heart dropped to his stomach. he couldn’t stand seeing you like this.

why does his feelings have to be 100x more noticeable when your tragically hurt!?

he sat down on the empty chair beside the hospital bed, wondering why no one else was visiting at this time.

he stared at you, something he couldn’t get off of his mind lately.

“why do you make me feel things, dumbass?” he asked, waiting for a response. “i never skip class! you just had to get hurt and make me skip the test review.” he rolled his eyes, but his face softened as he looked at you, still sleeping.

“i’ll help you study. you’ll probably fail without going over what we learned.”

.....

“would you wake up, you shitty woman!” he yelled, gripping the side of your bed “this is scary, you know?”

.....

“i should’ve called you today, i just assumed you’d be too busy to talk. if you told me you were in trouble, i’d blast my ass to wherever you were in a heartbeat.” bakugo said, feeling his actual heart skip a beat when you still didn’t respond. 

“please wake up...”

after about an hour of waiting, your other classmates came in, checking on your condition.

you still hadn’t woken up, but your vitals were better and your breath were more steady.

by the time night fell, everyone left; except for bakugo

he was just starting to fall asleep when he felt she. he heard you stir in the hospital bed.

his head shot up, quickly turning to face you as he saw you blinking you eyes slowly.

“y/n!” he yelled a little louder than anticipated, making you shoot awake and look at him.

you blinked a few more times before realizing who you were looking at. “katsuki!?” you asked, trying to sit up, but feeling a sharp pain in your side.

“hey! don’t move dumbass. are you okay? do you remember anything?” he frantically asked.

“umm...i’m fine?” you said, sounding like you were trying to convince yourself. “why are you here?”

“why am i here? you were admitted into the hospital in critical condition!”

“i-i’m sorry, everything’s a bit fuzzy right now.” you say softly, putting a hand on your forehead and tryin got remember everything.

bakugo softened, and waited until you got yourself together. “how long have you been here?” you ask

“since this morning.”

“this morning!? katsuki what about school? do your parents even know you’re here?”

“why the hell are you worried about me? you’re the one hooked up to all these machines and can barely move!” bakugo yelled, trying to understand why you were so focused on him being there with you.

“i just never thought you’d be the one to go out of your way to check on someone. let alone be here the whole day...” you whispered, suddenly feeling shy at the idea of bakugo keeping your sleeping body company for hours.

bakugo froze at your words.

he really wasn’t the type to go check on people for more than a few minutes. especially not one to skip school because of it.

maybe he did this because he felt a little more than what he thought he did.

maybe this wasn’t a stupid little crush? maybe it was something serious that he had just been blowing off.

when he heard about your condition, he just couldn’t stand by. there must have been something that pushed him to run to you.

“it’s cause u care about you...idiot. i wasn’t gonna a let you suffer here alone.” he huffs, crossing his arms.

“katsukiii do you like me or something?” you asked in a teasing tone

he couldn’t believe you were making jokes at a time like this. furthermore, he couldn’t believe how easy it was for you to see through his facade.

“i do.” he states. there was no point in lying.

“i was just kidding kats-“

“i’m not.” he cuts you off. “i care about you, and i like you. a lot. so...you better like be bad damn it. or i’ll blow you to bits!”

you chuckled and smiled tenderly at him. you definitely weren’t expecting him to say that, but you weren’t complaining.

“i like you too...i guess.” you smile, and katsuki tsked before smirking at you.

he finally felt like he could breath again, and that everything was going to be fine now.

except...katsuki didn’t like you. he loved you. but no way would he tell you that

this absolutely sucks i can’t believe i’m posting this. if you can, plz give me some requests so i don’t make trash hcs like this again. they’ll be a pt.2 later. hopefully it isn’t as bad as this one.

click here to send a request. i’d really appreciate it!

[sparring-hyena]

the time of our lives.

this one was kinda requested/suggested by @cloakanddaggerthings. they’ve also been a great help in hammering out the finicky details. thanks heaps, mate! 

OR, the one where it takes a year for these two goofs to realise they’re in love.

-

i. New Year’s Eve.

naturally, this is where they start. although, start in a very loose sense of the word. because they were something before tonight. something fiery and intense, but certainly not something real.

they were midnight rendezvouses, sharp remarks that lacked any real malice, and moments that somehow meant nothing and everything. but what they were is irrelevant. because Poppy’s got a reputation and parental expectations, and AJ doesn’t fit into any of that.

so, they stand in the front yard of some frat house, a New Year’s party raging on inside, and fight. they shout and cuss and say things that don’t at all mean but that make this whole thing easier.

it’s with ten seconds of the year left that Poppy says, “i hate you,” and feels something break in her heart.

“i hate you, too,” AJ says as the countdown finally reaches zero.

there’s cheering from inside and then AJ leaves and now Poppy’s standing alone on the front lawn. she ignores the tears that fall down her cheeks and tries to tell herself that everything will be fine.

so, yes, that’s how they start: in the final ten seconds of the year with an i hate you that actually means something else entirely.

ii. Valentine’s Day.

she sees AJ sporadically throughout the day. and that irritates Poppy like nothing else ever has. figures it would be today of all days that she sees her everywhere.

first it’s at the crack of dawn as she walks home after a one night stand that she spots AJ on a jog. they’re on opposite sides of the street, but it’s empty so they see each other.

AJ stops in her tracks and looks right at Poppy, not exactly irritated but certainly not pleased. Poppy fixes her with a glare that says what are you looking at? AJ shrugs and starts up on her jog again, and Poppy huffs and continues on her walk home.

then they see each other on campus way too many times—in the café, on the quad, and in the library. and each time, Poppy’s glare is met with a shrug from AJ.

the last time she sees AJ it’s late. the sun has long since set and there’s a chill that’s set in for the night. she’s on her way home from dinner—some blind date Veronica had set up—when she spots AJ across the street, laughing and walking hand-in-hand with some girl who looks vaguely familiar.

Poppy watches them until she can’t see them anymore, and wonders if AJ saw her this time, too.

iii. spring break.

she goes to Miami for the week with Veronica and Chloe. her intention is to have a fun and carefree week where she doesn’t once think about AJ.

it’s two days into her trip when she finds herself scrolling through Instagram late one night. curiosity nibbles at her restraint until she’s typing AJ’s name into the search bar.

she finds AJ’s profile and the first picture she sees is some candid shot of AJ and that same girl from Valentine’s Day looking at each other with ridiculously cheesy smiles. Poppy switches her phone off and doesn’t dare touch it for the rest of the night.

Poppy goes to a party the next night and hooks up with a girl who looks a lot like AJ. Veronica and Chloe point this out a few days later, laughing over cocktails. Poppy scoffs and tells them that’s complete bullshit and tries to hide her blush by taking a long sip of her drink.

iv. summer break.

the academic year ends and Poppy sighs with relief as she collapses onto her bed. she’s got three months until her final year starts, and three months where she doesn’t have to see or think of AJ.

it goes well at first—the not thinking about AJ. she spends a lot of time shopping and partying and lounging by the pool of her parents’ beach house on Long Island. but there are only so many hours of the day where she can keep her mind busy. so it’s at night, when she’s in bed trying to fall asleep, that her mind wanders back to AJ.

the first time it happens, she groans and rolls onto her side, and tries to flush all thoughts of AJ from her mind. that works. but then it happens again and again, and before Poppy really knows it, it’s halfway through August and she’s thought of AJ every single night since the end of June.

she lays awake in bed and watches the fan on the ceiling spin in lazy circles. her brain summons a long and near forgotten memory of a night a lot like this. she closes her eyes and sinks into the warm embrace of the memory:

she was in bed with AJ. it was either late or early, Poppy can’t quite remember. she decides it probably doesn’t really matter. they were talking and laughing under the quiet blanket of night. and Poppy suddenly remembers how she’d reached for AJ’s hand and never wanted to let it go.

Poppy opens her eyes and glances to her side. the bed is empty beside her, the sheets untouched, and she can almost feel the ghost of AJ’s touch on her hand. she squeezes her eyes shut, trying not to cry, and realises she never did hate AJ. she was probably just scared.

v. Halloween.

there’s a party on campus—isn’t there always? a frat party with costumes and decorations and cheesy music that starts to sound alright after three or four drinks. Poppy slips in later in the night, when everyone’s teetering on the edge of tipsy and drunk.

she moves through the throng of people towards the kitchen to pour herself a drink, and bumps into AJ for the first time this semester.

“hey,” AJ says, awkward and unsure, and Poppy silently regrets everything she’s put her through.

“hi,” Poppy says, smiling and really meaning it.

that seems to loosen AJ up a bit, and she returns the smile in kind.

“haven’t seen you in a while,” AJ says, leaning back against the counter and sipping her drink.

“been busy,” she lies even though that’s something she’s trying to stop.

and AJ seems to understand the lie for what it is. “you wanna go outside for a bit?”

Poppy only nods, afraid that if she speaks, she’ll ruin whatever’s happening right now. it’s quieter outside, the cheesy music and chatter nothing but a gentle murmur. they stand out on the front lawn of some frat house and Poppy gets a strange sense of déjà vu.

“i wish things had been different, y’know?” AJ says, her voice a gentle reassurance.

“me too,” Poppy says, and then: “i’m sorry that i said i hate you. because i don’t.”

a moment of silence passes, uncomfortable and almost tight like a rubber band pulled to its limit. because it looks like AJ’s about to say something important that’ll put them on a better path. but then the front door of the frat house flies open, and a few drunk students stumble out into the yard.

AJ offers Poppy a smile, almost sad and longing. “it was nice seeing you again.” and then she heads back inside.

vi. Thanksgiving.

Poppy doesn’t plan on visiting her parents this year. and besides, they’re going out of town for the holiday. so if she has to be alone, she’d rather it be in the sorority house than in some stuffy brownstone on the Upper West Side.

it’s late in the afternoon when Poppy gets a text from AJ. all it says is are you at the sorority? she stares at it for a moment, debates deleting it and carrying on with her day. but something tells her to respond, so she does.

she says that she is and waits for AJ’s response. she waits five minutes, then ten and nothing comes. Poppy scoffs and tosses her phone onto her bed. it’s not long later when she hears a knock on the front door. Poppy doesn’t think much of it, so she answers it without checking.

she finds AJ standing on the front stoop, grinning like she knows something Poppy doesn’t.

“what are you doing here?” Poppy says. “i thought you’d be on your way home by now.”

“i’m getting an early flight tomorrow.” then AJ holds up a plane ticket, grinning like this has been her plan all along. “and i was wondering if you’d want to come with me.”

“what?”

“come home with me. my parents always cook too much food, so really, you’d be doing them a favour.”

Poppy folds her arms over her chest and studies AJ for a moment. “don’t you want to take your girlfriend,” she says, and maybe she wants her words to hurt a little bit.

“we broke up over the summer,” AJ says, simple and easy.

“oh. sorry.”

“don’t be. it wasn’t working out and hadn’t been for a while.”

“are you trying to use pity to get me to come with you?” Poppy says, and she knows AJ wouldn’t, but it’s kinda fun to mess with her.

“no, of course not! i just wanted to be upfront with you. so, come home with me. please.”

Poppy plucks the ticket from AJ’s hand and says, “i’m only doing this for your parents.”

“of course.” AJ winks and grins. “i’ll see you bright and early at the airport tomorrow then.

the flight is uneventful, although Poppy decides AJ is much too cheerful for seven o’clock in the morning.

when they step inside AJ’s childhood home, Poppy’s immediately struck by just how warm and lived in it all feels. AJ’s mother tells her to mind the mess as she ushers them both inside, and AJ’s father greets them and says hugs’ll have to wait as he gestures to his dirty apron.

they all cram around a too small table in mismatched chairs that creak and rock back-and-forth. Poppy doesn’t care that she’s sitting shoulder-to-shoulder with AJ and one of her sisters. dinner is loud and fun, and AJ’s parents insist on sharing stories from AJ’s childhood. and as dinner winds down and dessert is served, Poppy reaches for AJ’s hand beneath the table and knows that she’ll never let go.

vii. Christmas.

it’s close to midnight on Christmas Eve when AJ appears on the front stoop of the Zeta house. she looks distraught and like she hasn’t had a good night sleep in days. so Poppy steps outside and asks, “what’s wrong?”

AJ looks at her, really looks at her, and Poppy feels something shift in that moment. and then AJ’s talking, words tumbling from her mouth, and it doesn’t look like she can stop herself. then she says i love you and everything goes still.

it takes a moment, but AJ seems to catch up to what she’s just said. her eyes go wide, and Poppy can see that she’s gearing up to apologies. but Poppy doesn’t let her. she surges forward and hug AJ tightly because oh god, i’ve missed her so much.

Poppy doesn’t say the words back, not yet anyway. but she holds onto AJ and tries to show her that she loves her, too.

viii. New Year’s Eve.

naturally, this is where they end. although end in a very loose sense of the word. because they will be something after tonight. something supportive and challenging, but most importantly something real.

they will be promises of forever, witty remarks that are just an i love you in disguise, and moments where the rest of the word falls away and it’s just the two of them together. what they will be terrifies Poppy. because she’s got a reputation and parental expectations, and AJ doesn’t fit into any of that... right?

maybe. but maybe it’s good that AJ doesn’t fit into that. maybe it’s good that AJ had upended everything she thought she knew. maybe that’s what makes what they will be so damn perfect.

so, they stand in the front yard of some frat house, a New Year’s party raging on inside, and finally admit what’s been there all along. they talk and tease and say things they mean with all their heart.

it’s with ten seconds of the year left that Poppy says, “i love you,” and feels that final piece of her heart heal.

“i love you, too,” AJ says as the countdown finally reaches zero.

there’s cheering from inside and then AJ steps closer to Poppy, smiling so bright and warm, and Poppy twists her arms around AJ’s neck and doesn’t once care that she’s probably smiling like an idiot in love.

so, yes, that’s how they end: in the final ten second of the year with an i love you that means exactly what it claims.

[xofanfics]

String - Part VII

Prologue | Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Part VI | Part VII | Part VIII

Genre: angst, fluff

Pairing: Baekhyun x Female Reader x Sehun

Word Count: 4.3k

Summary: You find yourself in a friends-with-benefits situation with your best friend. You have no business falling for him, but your heart begs to differ.

You took extra care with your outfit tonight. Not that you wouldn’t take extra care anyway, being that you were going on a date. Conveniently, you’d see Baekhyun too. 

You ended up pushing your date with Sehun back to nine instead of seven. He didn’t seem to have an issue with it, thankfully. He said, “Go support your friends. The jazz bar isn’t going anywhere.”

“Thanks for understanding,” you said. “He asked me to come at the last minute.”

“It’ll be fun. Just save a little bit of energy for me,” he said, chuckling. 

“What’s that supposed to mean, hm? Why do I need energy?”

“So you don’t fall asleep mid drink, you little perv.”

The two of you burst into laughter. For someone who wasn’t actively trying to have sex with you, he did enjoy making dirty jokes. You didn’t mind. It reminded you of the stupid, slick comments Baekhyun used to make when you’d wear short skirts. He’d whisper, “Are you going to let me eat you out later? I think my head fits perfectly between your legs,” while your friends weren’t paying attention. You smiled at the distant memory but then you shook it off, bringing yourself back to a Baekhyun-less reality. 

You felt bad pursuing Sehun when you still sort of had these unresolved feelings for Baekhyun but you needed to move on. It wasn’t that you were using Sehun. You actually liked him a lot and you could see this going somewhere. He was a good guy and, to be honest, it seemed like you had more in common with him than with Baekhyun. But still, for reasons you had yet to discover, it felt like your heart would burst out of your chest and jump on Baekhyun if it could. 

You looked in the mirror. You were wearing a long sleeved maroon colored dress, a few inches above your knees. It was long enough to cover your butt and short enough to show off your legs. The dress hung off both of your shoulders, showing off some skin. You wore a pair of stud earrings and a simple necklace that wasn’t too dressy. Your date was at a jazz bar and you figured you’d dress up a bit. You admitted to yourself that you had a double agenda, hoping that Baekhyun noticed you and even more so, delusionally hoping that he’d want you back. 

You slid on your black booties and put your bag over your shoulder. You checked for your phone, keys, and wallet before heading out of the door. Excitement ran through you and so did anxiety. Tonight could go very good, very badly, or very neutrally. Could you handle it?

*

People were piling into the auditorium as you arrived a bit later than expected. Sadie and Evie told you they’d saved you a seat and were waiting for you somewhere on the right side. You’d find them eventually. Since the lights were still on, you found your friends easily. You squeezed past other people, making your way to the middle of the row. 

“Hey guys,” you said, plopping down next to Daren.

“Well, well, well,” said Daren. “Look who finally decided to show up.”

You smiled, giving him a quick hug before sitting down. You waved to Sadie and Evie on the other side of him. “I’m sorry I’ve been MIA…”

“Yeah and, uh, I…”

You shook your head. “You don’t have to feel bad for me or anything. I’m fine.”

Relief washed over your friend and the lights dimmed. The host went onto the stage, taking the microphone in his hands. “Hey, hey, hey! I know we’re all super excited to be here this evening. I’m your host Kalled…”

You started tuning him out, thinking again of how the night would go. Would you be able to speak if Baekhyun stood in front of you? What kinds of things would you say? Part of you wanted to be mean, to hurt his feelings like he did to you. But the other part wasn’t sure.

“The first group to compete in the Battle of the Orgs: Dance Edition is…”

To be honest, you weren’t quite paying attention. You knew that KSA was going last and you had no interest in the Bollywood dancing or the Chinese fan dance or the hip-hop or the ballet. You even found yourself dozing off. Daren nudged you as the host announced the group you actually cared about. 

You rubbed sleep from your eyes as the first song came on: Under Cover by A.C.E. You watched the group’s sharp movements and, if you didn’t know them, you’d think that they might be professionals. Baekhyun liked to dance but you had no idea that he could pull this off. You watched the way his body moved in his black shirt and joggers. You watched as his body twisted and turned. He looked concentrated and, knowing the person Baekhyun was, you knew that he could be a bit of a perfectionist when it came to things like this. 

You sighed to yourself as they started performing Sha La La by Pentagon. You wondered what this girlfriend of his was like and if she was here. Did she get him flowers or something to congratulate him on his performance? Was she here right now, in this crowd? You didn’t know anything about this girl so far and that was part of what killed you. And you supposed it was better off not knowing because then you’d find yourself comparing and contrasting.

Before you knew it, they performed Regular by NCT 127 and their performance was over. As the crowd roared and people put in their votes, you tuned it all out. All you could think about was Baekhyun. Why did this have to be so hard? Why was it so hard to move on when Baekhyun already let you know that you weren’t the person he wanted? Shouldn’t it be easy? Shouldn’t you think, “Fuck him!” Why was it that your heart still clinging onto those feelings?

As predicted, KSA’s dance team won the competition and the crowd roared again. Your friends jumped up and down next to you, yelling and shouting for your friends. You clapped but you didn’t jump. Right about now, you couldn’t bring yourself to feel excited. You didn’t want to feel like this but you couldn’t help yourself. You wanted to leave. You didn’t want to face Baekhyun but you also knew that you couldn’t hide from him forever. Eventually, you’d cross paths again and you’d have to act like a reasonable adult. 

The auditorium started to empty out and you led the way out into the hallway. You excused yourself to the bathroom so that you could gain your bearings. You went to the bathroom and washed your hands. You turned the water off and dried your hands. You took a deep breath, looking in the mirror to make sure you didn’t look as distressed as you felt. For now, you could pull it off. Chill out, Y/N, you told yourself as you walked out of the bathroom and back into the hallway where you left your friends. 

Before you could even search for them yourself, you found them standing with a man whose face you knew all too well. You knew it wasn’t their fault that Baekhyun was there because it was no one’s job to protect your feelings. After all, they were still friends with Baekhyun even if your relationship with him was up in the air.

You took a deep breath, as you’d been spotted not only by Baekhyun but by Drew. It was too late to run in the opposite direction so you did your best and made your way over to your friends. 

“Y/N, hey,” said Evie, attempting to break the ice that had formed between you and Baekhyun. You stood a safe distance away from Baekhyun, choosing to stand next to Sadie instead of next to Daren which would bring you dangerously close to Baekhyun. 

“Hey guys,” you said, as a general greeting just so that Baekhyun didn’t assume you were speaking to him directly. You could feel his eyes on you like glue. “The performance was really good. Good job…”

“Thanks,” said Drew and Baekhyun at the same time. 

Baekhyun let out a nervous laugh before Evie cleared her throat. “So, is anyone up for a party tonight?”

“I’m down,” said Baekhyun.

Drew looked at Daren. “We’re not doing anything tonight.”

“Whose party?”

“One of the girls was saying that there’s an Airbnb party tonight. Whoever’s throwing the party must be rich. I heard his dad is a diplomat from Ethiopia. It’s some place that’s not too far. A little further uptown. I followed her on Instagram. She posted the address on her story,” Evie explained. 

“Y/N, are you coming?”

You shook your head. “I actually have plans tonight.”

Sadie said, “Just bring him with you!”

Before you could say anything else, someone crashed into Baekhyun and wrapped their arms around him. She said, “You did amazing, babe.”

Baekhyun smiled back at her. “Thank you.” He planted a kiss on her forehead, just like he used to do to you.

There she was, in all her fucking glory. Miss Kira had blessed you with her presence after all this time. Not only did you have to have a run-in with Baekhyun but with his new girlfriend, too. This was the cherry on top of all of your problems. Kira looked up and greeted the rest of your friends. She said, “I’m Kira. I don’t think we’ve met.”

Baekhyun said, “Kira, Y/N. Y/N, this is my girlfriend Kira.”

If everyone was being honest, you’d admit that you wanted to punch her in her pretty face. You’d admit that you wanted to pull her stupid long, bone straight hair. You’d admit that you wanted to rip her jacket in two. But you didn’t admit any of those things. And you definitely weren’t being honest. 

She smiled at you as she reached out her hand. Mustering the fakest smile you could, you smiled back and shook the bitch’s hand. You felt bad referring to her as a bitch, even in your thoughts. But it’s what your brain did automatically. When you thought of the name Kira, you couldn’t help but think of the word bitch to go along with it.

Kira the bitch. 

Bitchy ass Kira. 

The bitch-who-stole-Baekhyun Kira. 

What sucked for you is that she didn’t seem like the type of girl to be a bitch. Hating her would be a lot easier if she had her nose up in the air as if she was better than you or if she was acting standoffish. But meeting her face to face tonight, she seemed excited to meet you, another one of Baekhyun’s friends. 

“Nice to meet you,” you said even though you didn’t mean it.

You cleared your throat and turned to Sadie. “I’ll ask him. He just said he’s outside.”

*

You weaved in and out of clusters of students, the post-performance buzz had spilled out onto the sidewalks. You heard the chatter of your classmates, with most of them trying to figure out plans for the night. Just like you, you had no idea what the plan was for tonight. You didn’t even know if Sehun would agree. Your mind was pretty much a jumble after dealing with seeing Baekhyun and meeting Kira for the first time ever. 

You found Sehun standing across the street, on the corner. You jogged across the street once the road was clear to cross. He smiled upon your arrival and pulled you into a quick hug. “Wow. You look good.”

You smiled as you pulled away from his hug. “Thanks.”

“Are you ready to head out?”

“I was actually wondering if you wanted to go to this party instead,” you said. 

“What kind of party?”

“There’s just this rich kid who rented out an airbnb a little further uptown. A lot of people are trying to go.” You cleared your throat. “My friends asked if I wanted to go and said that I should bring you. But don’t feel pressured to go. We already made plans but I just wanted—”

“Let’s go,” he said, much to your surprise.

“Really?”

He shrugged. “Yeah. I haven’t been to a college party in a couple years. I’m down to relive college for a night.”

“Are you sure?”

“As long as I get to hang out with you, I’m happy.”

You smiled. “Thanks. Plus, I think my friends kinda wanna meet you.”

He returned your smile. “I’m great with friends.”

You liked this about Sehun too. Even though he seemed more reserved, he was still very open and friendly. You had no doubts that your friends would like him. Hell, you figured Drew and Daren would probably like him, too. Sehun was the ideal man and you knew that. You just wished that your heart would keep that in mind, too. You were trying to forget about Baekhyun but your heart was holding you back. You had to push him out to make room for Sehun, because you deserved better.

Your friends spotted you before you spotted them. Sehun looked past you and nodded behind you. “Are these your friends?”

You turned around and found Sadie and Evie walking toward you. “Heeeeeeyyy,” sang Evie. “There you are.” Sadie wrapped her arm around your shoulder as your face turned a little red with embarrassment.

With a sigh, you said, “Well looks like they found us. These are my friends Evie and Sadie.”

They shook hands with him and Sehun said, “My name’s Sehun.”

“So you’re the guy that’s been stealing our friend away the past couple weekends,” said Sadie.

“Nice to meet you,” said Evie.

Sehun said, “So I heard there’s a party?”

“Yeah,” Evie answered. “You’re coming right? I figured we should pregame or something.”

“My place isn’t too far. We could go there. I have a couple bottles of something or another,” Sehun said.

And that was that. The four of you headed to Sehun’s house in Chelsea. To be honest, you’d never been there. You had no idea what his house looked like. And to be honest another time, you realized that you assumed that he lived in Brooklyn like you. But tonight was full of surprises, clearly.

*

The four of you walked into a luxury building that was a thousand times better than the third floor walk up you lived in. As you walked into the lobby, the concierge said, “Good evening.” Sehun nodded and led you and your friends toward the elevators. The gray floors were so shiny that you could almost see yourself in them. You gawked at the grand chandelier hanging above you as you waited for the elevator.

As the elevator arrived, Sehun held his arm out and let you and your friends on first. Evie whispered in your ear, “What a gentleman...” 

You smiled to yourself as the four of you got out on the nineteenth floor. Sehun led you down a long hallway, ending up at the end of the hallway. He took out his key and let everyone inside. He flipped the light switch and put his keys down on the kitchen counter. 

“Make yourselves at home,” he said. “I’m gonna see what we have. My roommate had some leftover bottles from a get together we had a couple weeks ago.”

You nodded and sat on the couch, sandwiched between your friends. You watched as Sehun rummaged through the mahogany kitchen cabinets. He looked so concentrated and you couldn’t help but notice how he raised his eyebrow at the bottle holding the brown liquid in question. He held up two half full, half empty bottles. One was clear and one was dark. 

Sauntering into the living room, Sehun held up the two bottles. “Light or dark?”

“Light,” the three of you said.

“You’re scared of dark liquor huh?”

“It always gives me a hangover,” said Evie.

Sadie nodded in agreement. “Do you have some juice or something to chase it with?”

Sehun started walking back toward the kitchen. He opened the fridge. “Yeah. Looks like there’s some orange juice and if you guys want something different, I have some of that shitty lemonade mix. And there’s Sprite.”

“Vodka lemonade sounds good,” you said. “We can top it with sprite.”

Evie nudged you. “Go help him!”

You laughed and got up, heading into the kitchen to join him. “Need some help?”

He looked up, smiling. “I could always use some help. Apparently I’m a little heavy handed with adding sugar...” You started helping Sehun, grabbing measuring cups and the sugar jar as he washed the pitcher. 

He got four glasses and started pouring a little vodka in each. “How about a shot to get started?”

*

You were tipsy. Not too drunk but not too sober either. The drinks you and Sehun made were pretty good. There wasn’t much sprite left in the bottle so the four of you had to make it stretch a bit. And Sehun was right about being heavy handed because the first batch of lemonade ended up being sugar water rather than lemonade. Luckily, you had salvaged it, dumping some of the water in the sink and adding more water.

Sehun got more and more outgoing as the night went on. He told your friends about the night you met and how you stood out to him and how he felt like he had to talk to you. When you disappeared for a moment into the bathroom, you heard him say that he was starting to like you. This made you smile. It felt good to be wanted. It felt good to not have to question a man’s feelings for you. 

To be honest, you liked him too. You enjoyed his company and he made you feel like the only girl in the world. When he spoke to you, he only saw you. You could tell that he’d invested a lot in you so far. You didn’t have to wonder if he was entertaining other women. He told you that he wasn’t like that and you could tell that he was being genuine. Sehun was the most genuine guy that you’d met in a long time. He wasn’t about bullshit and pulling you around on a string for weeks, months, and so on only to drop you at the last minute. For the first time in a long time, you saw a clear path in front of you. There were no bumps or obstacles standing in your way. It was a straight shot.

When you came back in the living room, Sehun had turned some music on and he started singing “Diamonds” by Rihanna. You and your friends joined in on the song and started singing and dancing around the couch and coffee table, clutching your vodka soda lemonade drinks in your hands. It was going to be a good night, you thought.

Before you knew it, it was about to hit ten o’clock. Evie let everyone know that people were starting to head to the party. As you left Sehun’s apartment, Sadie added that Baekhyun was most likely coming too. But, at this moment, you didn’t care. You felt much better going to this party if Sehun was at your side. You felt better, more confident, with Sehun on your arm. This was a great way to show Baekhyun that you’d moved on after all. You didn’t need him anymore and, to be honest, you were through. Why were you even thinking of Baekhyun and all the bullshit you’d been through when you were walking next to a man that made you question nothing? When you were walking next to a man who openly admitted to liking you? He hadn’t told you directly and you knew that he probably had no idea if you heard what he said in the first place. Hell, he might even admit it to you if you just asked. Either way, you were in a much better place now. You were no longer hanging onto some string, with Baekhyun pulling you in all sorts of directions. You were free, free to let go of that fucking string and go after what you wanted. 

*

Baekhyun knew he had no right to feel hurt but he did. For some reason, he felt hurt that you’d possibly moved on. He knew that it was stupid and that none of it really made much sense but it was how he felt. Baekhyun had moved on. Hell, it seemed like you had moved on, too. 

Even with this beautiful girl standing in front of him, he felt jealous. Even though you weren’t his and he wasn’t yours, he still felt some type of way. He was so torn and confused by these feelings, so he started toward the kitchen for a drink. He needed something that would push his feelings to the back of his mind. Kira had walked off with a friend to fix her makeup in the bathroom, so he felt less guilty about leaving her on her own. 

As he walked into the kitchen, he spotted Drew taking a shot with a bunch of other guys he’d never met before. Drew slammed down his plastic shot glass and looked up at his friend. “Baek, take a shot with us!” 

He shrugged and figured why not? He grabbed the shot his friend had poured and downed it quickly. “Can I vent?”

Drew nodded, “Let’s go to the balcony.”

Baekhyun weaved in and out of the clusters of people scattered across the living room, his friend following behind him. He slid open the door, relieved that the balcony wasn’t crowded. There was a couple smoking a cigarette together on the other side. He sat down on one of the patio chairs and Drew sat across from him. 

“What’s up?” Drew said. 

Baekhyun sighed. “It’s Y/N...”

“What about her?” he asked. “Was it weird seeing her tonight?”

“Well, it was...but did you see the way she purposely didn’t stand near me? It’s like she doesn’t even wanna breathe my air. She barely acknowledged my presence. And that fucking sarcastic smile when Kira said hi to her? I bet she didn’t even listen to my voicemail either. And she’s already seeing someone new?”

Drew was perplexed by this situation between you and Baekhyun. This wasn’t the first time he went on a rant about you and how you weren’t answering any of his messages or when he pressed him for updates about you. He was always wondering what you were doing and why you weren’t answering and why things couldn’t be the way they used to be. 

Drew said, “I mean, you fucked her over. Did you expect her to just...forgive you?”

Baekhyun pouted. “Well, no but—”

“Think about it: She liked you a lot. And, I mean, I thought you did too…”

“I did, but—”

“Did or do? I know we’ve both been drinking and you’re probably in your feelings but you have to admit, you’re acting kinda crazy right now.”

“How am I acting crazy?”

“You started dating Kira! Can you blame Y/N for moving on? You’re saying you liked her, in past tense, but it sounds like maybe you still do.” Drew cleared his throat. “Look, what’s your problem exactly? Are you upset because she won’t forgive you or are you upset because you’re jealous that she’s moving on?”

Baekhyun was annoyed. He had come to Drew to vent and here he was psychoanalyzing him. Was Drew his friend or his goddamn therapist? 

Baekhyun let out a sigh, pushing those negative thoughts about his friend away. He knew Drew was right and that he was just trying to help him out. In a way, it was as if his friend knew him better that he knew himself. Drew was only giving him some things to think about. 

What was he even doing? Why was he obsessing over what you were doing when you’d clearly made up your mind that the two of you were no longer even friends? He, apparently, needed to move on, too. If he wanted a relationship with Kira, he needed to think less about you and more about her. Otherwise, it might go up in flames and blow up in Baekhyun’s face. 

“You’re right,” Baekhyun said, rolling his eyes. “I know you’re right.”

Drew said, “I’m not saying to break up with Kira and go to Y/N or the other way around but I think you need to take a step back to figure out what it is you want.” He threw his arm around Baekhyun. “Look, let’s just enjoy the party tonight and think about this complicated stuff later, okay?”

Baekhyun nodded. “Yeah. Deal.”

As soon Baekhyun closed the balcony door behind him and turned back toward the party, he saw you walk in, in all your glory. The worst part of it all was that you had your arms wrapped around some douchebag in a bomber jacket. Actually, he lied. The worst part of it all was the fact that not only did you have your arms wrapped around that douchebag’s arm, but that you were smiling harder than he’d seen you smile, like you were having the time of your life. 

The way his heart dropped and the way his blood began to simmer in his veins, he knew what Drew said was right. 

This was going to be a rough night.

***

Thank you for reading, as always and please let me know if you’d like to be added to the tag list for STRING!

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[thefanficmonster]

4+1 Taylor’s short edition

Daniel x Taylor (The Dark Pictures Anthology: Little Hope)

Warnings: Swearing

Genre: FLUFF, Humor

Summary: The four times Daniel teased Taylor about being short and the one time she got her revenge.

Requested by my platonic spouse @hopeveon Hope you enjoy it bro! (sorry for the wait) Love, Vy ❤

I

There are times in Taylor’s life she wishes she was the high-heels-to-the-store type of person. Maybe then her height wouldn’t hinder her from reaching the top shelves where her favorite cereal is kept.

She’s been standing in front of the raft, glaring the orange box of cereal down as if that way she’ll eventually convince it to fall on its own right into her arms. 

This is one of those ‘I wish I could wear heels without maneuvering around like a baby giraffe’ moments. Not that the heels would help her much considering how high up the shelf is but it’d still give her some level of advantage: she’d be able to reach the shelf below the top one and that’d still be considered a bonus.

“Need help, T?”

Then again, who needs heels when they have a tall boyfriend to snatch up things they can’t.

Taylor flashes him a smile as he turns into the aisle she’s standing in, the shopping cart he’s pushing already containing the items he was assigned to get. “Could you, for the love of God, grab me one of those?” She asks pointing up at the cereal boxes with clear frustration in her movements.

Daniel shoots her a smirk as he parks the cart, “Why don’t you...” Taylor, sensing the oncoming joke at her shortness, opens her mouth to complain but before she can say a single word, she’s lifted up off the ground, earning a yelp from her. “...get it yourself?” Daniel finishes his previously began sentence, holding his girlfriend up so the boxes are within arm’s reach.

When she takes two, he sets her back down on the floor. Just as she’s about to thank him, however, he ruffles her hair, placing a kiss at the top of her head once he does so. “You’re welcome, shorty.”

And just like that, she swallows her gratitude.

II

Taylor’s classes finished earlier than Daniel’s today due to some change in the professors’ schedule. That leaves her here, on a bench in the college park, waiting for her boyfriend since she doesn’t want to break their routine and walk to the dorms on her own, leaving him to do the same. They’ve had very little time for one another as of recent because of the upcoming torturous finals that have them worrying and overworking themselves sick. Walking to the dorms is one thing these upcoming exams can’t take away from them, luckily.

As she types another message to Andrew, promising she’d help him with his essay he’s gotta turn in in two days and has no idea how to even start it, she hears the sound of laughter. Laughter which the person is desperately trying to suppress. She looks up from her phone to see Daniel standing on the path a few feet away, one hand clutching the strap of his bag while the other is balled in a fist and pressed against his lips to prevent the aforementioned laughter from escaping him.

When he notices she’s looking, he does his best to keep his composure and still himself but it’s already too late - it’s all been spotted.

Raising an eyebrow at him, Taylor can’t contain the need to ask what has him cracking up so badly, “Take a breath please. What are you even laughing at?“ Finding himself unable to speak without laughing, he just points to her feet which has her even more confused. She raises an eyebrow at him, looking down at her dangling and swinging feet clad in an old pair of Converse. “That explains nothing.” She says, continuing to watch his movements with an unamused look on her face.

Daniel does as she told him - takes a breath - before he opens his mouth to explain, a smile still stretching at the corners of his lips, “You can’t touch the ground, can you?”

It takes a few moments for the words to register and be processed but she’s quick to catch onto yet another one of his increasingly creative jokes. It’s understood without saying that she’s less than impressed by this joke of his when she gets up and proceeds to speed-walk down the path towards the dorms, leaving Daniel rushing to catch up to her, calling her name while laughing his ass off.

III

This carnival date was entirely her idea, but she’d never admit it, obviously. There’s another truth she’d never admit, this one even more embarrassing in her opinion - she wants to win some stuffed animals so she can decorate her dorm which she’s suddenly decided is incredibly barren.

Daniel had no problem agreeing to the idea of a carnival date, especially not when Taylor agreed to go on the rollercoasters with him. The rides aren’t all that impressive but they are enough to get your adrenaline rushing and he’s prepared to settle for that with the added bonus of the fact that Taylor probably wouldn’t have accompanied him if the rides were impressive by his standards.

After a successful negotiation, Daniel’s spent the short but drawn out walk to the first ride they plan on going on with his arm wrapped Taylor’s shoulders, convincing her there’s nothing to be afraid of and that the ride is perfectly safe.

“It doesn’t even go upside down!“ That’s an argument he uses as though it’ll change anything about Taylor’s feelings on the ride or make her any more enthusiastic about getting on. If it were to go upside down she wouldn’t be anywhere near it let alone on it. “Besides, it’s less than three minutes and I’ll be by your side the whole time, T. Nothing to worry about.“

Taylor, unable to say no to the excitement of her boyfriend, succumbs with an eye-roll, “Fine, but if I puke on you it’s your own fault.”

Lifting his hands up in surrender, he continues guiding her to the entrance of the ride where they make it within less than a minute before the ride starts. However, right as she’s about to step onto the platform, Daniel’s arm gently tugs her back. In response to the unexpected gesture Taylor stops in her tracks, turning her head to give him a confused look. Daniel doesn’t reply verbally, but the grin on his face and the tilt of his head that point to a sign displaying the required height to get on the ride say it all.

“It’s your lucky day.“ He laughs, seeing the frown upon her face as a response to the teasing look in his eyes. Taking hold of her hand he leads her away from the ride stifling laughter at the cute displeased furrow of her brows. “Let’s go get you your stuffed animals.“

IV

“Great game!“ Taylor claps her hands together when she sees Daniel exit he changing rooms following a particularly intense match that ended in a draw, leaving both teams displeased to a certain degree.

Despite the bitter feeling of not having lost but not having won either, Daniel lets a wide smile spread across his face when he sees the excitement in Taylor’s eyes. He knows she’s clueless about more than half the things going on in the field but her support is limitless and unconditional which makes him so incredibly fond of her - even more than he already was.

“Thanks, it could’ve been better though.“ He replies, shrugging as he leans down to give Taylor a hug, “You coming to the party with us?“

Pressing her lips in a thin line when the two pull away, she gives him an apologetic shake of her head, “Sorry, I have an essay to finish and an exam to study for. I hope you have fun though.”

He does an expert job of covering up his displeasure with her absence as to not make her feel guilty about it, “Don’t worry, wish I could help you with it. I mean, I don’t have to go...”

Taylor scoffs, giggling a little bit at the cuteness of the boy standing before her, “Nonsense.” She says with a playful eye roll as she pushes up on her tip toes to place a kiss on his cheek, “I’ll see you tomorrow.” Just as she’s about to turn around and walk away, she catches glimpse of the oddly sentimental look in his eyes and the small smile on his lips, lightyears away in comparison to the one he wore previously. “What is it?”

“Nothing.“ He shrugs yet again, “You’re just super cute when you do that.“

Taylor huffs, “You’re lucky you’re tall.”

She was practically asking for it

“Nope, I’m lucky you’re short.“

That earns him a punch to the shoulder before she storms off a frown and a blush on her face. And a smile she’s suppressing.

The Revenge

It’s spring, the smell of the freshly bloomed flowers and trees tickles their nostrils as the couple walk in the park, the sunlight warming their skin. Spring break has never been an exciting time period for either of them. Hell, they didn’t even go home and chose to stay in the dorms instead so they could spend the time they had with each other rather than with their families who’d either bore them to death with awkward questions or make them regret coming back via a different method.

Daniel and Taylor are discussing the movie they just saw, completely unaware of the world around them as they do so. That happens frequently - when they’re in each other’s company, lost in conversation, they often end up forgetting they’re not the only people on this planet. Not the only things either.

“Oh come on, he was so annoying. I like a good villain as much as you do but he was ridiculous.“ Taylor complains, one hand resting above her eyes to shield them from the sunlight in order to be able to look up at Daniel who in return is gazing down at her, head slightly bowed.

“That just makes him cooler - he’s so ridiculous and such an airhead but he’s super intelligent. Did you see what he came up with? That doesn’t say ‘ridiculous’ to me.“ Daniel replies, receiving a frustrated huff from Taylor in return.

“Whatever, he’s still super annoying and no amount of intelligence can change that.“ She persists, frowning as if that’ll emphasize her point better.

Just as Daniel’s about to reply, however, he’s quickly silenced by the smacking of branches against his face. He panics momentarily, caught off-guard by the not painful but still unpleasant impact. But when he hears Taylor’s laughter, he brings himself to open his eyes and stop his arms from flailing around in self-defense of the twiggy branches that he walked into. When he turns to look at Taylor he sees she’s not at all affected by the same affliction, seeing as how her height allows her to pass right under the branches untouched.

“That is what you get! That is what you earned!” She calls back to him as she keeps walking down the path, “You joke about my height, Mother Nature’s gonna punish you.” 

This gets a laugh out of him as well as he jogs to catch up to her, “Hey, I never joke about your height! I just ACKNOWLEDGE it in a playful manner.” He corrects her, looking down hoping for a laugh or something but only receiving a glare in return.

Before another set of branches hits him in the face.

[1990stae]

Go Dance ~ myg

- series : opposites attract

- pairing : fboy!yoongix x carefree!reader

-genre : angst 

- word count : 1.5k (its short im sorry)

- warnings : drinking, dirty dancing ? cursing/swearing, its a pretty chill chapter. unedited

-a/n : IVE NEVER WRITTEN ON TUMBLR BEFORE SO IM LIKE LITERALLY TERRIFED SO UH, FEEDBACK IS AMAZING YES PLZ GIVE ME THAT

--

Friday Sep 28 , 4:30 PM

“ yn c’mon, we never do anything anymore, why not just, this one party..”

“Because the last time I let you boys drag me to a party, there was some guy groping me for half the night because you thought, and I quote , ‘you two would be cute.’” you looked at Jin lightly before sitting down next to Jimin at the table. 

The boys had taken you to your favorite coffee shop as a small bribe to get you to join them tonight at some frat party you were not interested in. You had already decided to go of course, but Taehyung had already gotten you snacks and makeup from Walmart and you wanted to see just how much more money you could get them to spend before they caught on.

“I’d need new clothes for the night, all of mine are old.” you mentioned, taking a small bite from your cakepop.

“I can buy you something, as long as it’s not too expensive.” Jin pipped up. 

“Are you sure Mom? I dont wanna spend your money.” 

“Yea for sure. It's just a small outfit. Isn't it?” Jimin let out a snicker as Jin finished his sentence.

-

Friday Sep 28 , 8:47 PM

“You’re not wearing the outfit I bought ?!” Jin exclaimed as you pilled into his car, sitting next to Tae in the backseat.

“ I said I was wearing jeans and a  hoodie. You thought I was joking?” you baited, seeing your friend realize what you had done.

“Hyung, how did you not see what she was doing? It was quite obvious.” Jimin told Jin as the car began moving.

Jin said nothing and turned on the radio as he drove towards the campus housing. You lived a few miles away in an apartment with Taehyung, so the drive was short and sweet. 

As you approached the house, you could feel the bass shaking lightly. Stepping out of the car made it more noticeable. The ground below you shook lightly as you walked alongside your friends up to the house. 

The lawn was littered with people dancing and smoking, all sorts of things you thought were better done where the police couldn't catch you. Once you and the boys reached the house you could feel your ear drums bursting at the noise. It wasn't a pleasant sensation nor was it a good song. You sighed and continued following Jin through the house. Stopping in the kitchen.

“Joon!” Jin yelled over the music, throwing his arms up.

“Jin! You guys made it.” He hugged Jin loosely before turning to his friends. Two of which you recognized.

“This is Hobi, Jungkook, and I'm sure you all know Yoongi.” Namjoon patted Yoongi's shoulder lightly before turning back to Jin. Yoongi took a small drink from his cup before looking around, avoiding you and your friends. 

“Right, this is Taehyung, Jimin, and Yn. Nice to meet you all.”

You heard a small scoff and looked over at Hoseok. He seemed uninterested by the situation, but to be fair, so were you.

“Joon, I'm gonna go dance. I’ll see you guys later?” He asked his friend. 

“Yea! Have fun Hyung!” Namjoon told Hobi before watching his friend disappear into the crowd of moving bodies.

You looked around before finding the solo cups and alcohol, moving over to make yourself a drink. Mixing the Coke and Rum in a cup evenly before hearing Tae speaking to Jungkook about some class they had together. 

“Coke and Rum? Seems boring.” a voice mentioned.

“Thanks, I try,” you replied sarcastically before looking up from where the voice had come from. He kept his drink close to his chin as he spoke.

“I didn’t know you and your friends knew what parties were.” he spoke, this time following it with a sip from the cup.

“ aren't you supposed to be sober? Healthy athlete or whatever.” You commented as you turned your body outwards, leaning onto the counter behind you and watching your friends converse about school and work.

“I don't drink” You looked up at him confused as he brought the cup down to your nose, “it’s Coke. I thought loners were always wasted. What's with the half assed drink?”

“I came here with three other people. What about that screams loner to you?” 

“Loner, stoner, same difference really.” he brought the drink back up to his mouth before taking a sip.

“Why are you here if you don't drink?” You knew he was popular, and that he often went to these types of parties. But you only went when forced, and your plan was always to get waisted. 

He looked upward towards the crowd of dancing bodies, “because girls do,” he said to you before sitting his drink down and moving into the room crowded by people.

Jin noticed the separation of you and Yoongi and moved over to where you were standing, taking your drink from your hand and taking a quick drink before handing it back.

“I'm guessing that didn't go too well.”

“Whatever could you mean? It went amazingly. We’re getting married this spring.” you said with a side eye, moving your attention down to your phone and swiping away the notifications.

“He’s really not that bad, yn. Give him a chance. He’s just a bit cocky ya know?” Jin tried, looking at you with small, pleading eyes.

“Why do you want me close to him? He’s pretentious and annoying.”

“Don't ask questions. Go dance,” Jin grabbed the drink from your hand before pushing you away from the counter. You sighed and moved to where you saw Taehyung and Jimin dancing. 

-

Friday Sep 28 , 11:24 PM

Once the three of you were together you felt ease rush over you, being with two of your best friends at a party was a feeling you enjoyed. A feeling you felt to cherish. Tae and Jimin were two of the most free spirited people you knew and being around them just seemed to make you feel free as well.

It wasn't long before you three were joined by Jin. Laughing at the people who seemed to lack rhythm and coordination. Jin mocking their dance moves to make you all smile. Jimin and Tae avoided the girls who came up to them. 

Out of the corner of your eye you noticed him, surrounded by girls, as he practically just stood there, enjoying it. A small scoff escaped your mouth as you watched his eyes scan them as they moved around him. 

The situation was corny and gross enough with him finding you in the crowd, your head turned toward him. This small thing boosted his ego, an ego that was already inflated. A smirk planted on his face as he began moving against the bodies surrounding him, holding eye contact with you for the entirety of the song that happened to be playing.

Jimin seemed to notice the smug expression on Yoongi's face as he pulled you closer into him and danced with you pressed to him. 

One of your favorite things about the friends you kept, was that they never seemed to ask questions or doubt each other, just simply followed along. So when Taehyung's arms snaked around you as he stood in front of you, and Jin moved closer into you, you thanked whatever demon or devil sent them to you, because as you turn your attention away from Yoongi and towards your friends who were, in all honesty, helping you do a softcore porn at this point, you heard the girls around him make sad noises. 

By the time the song had ended, Yoongi had disappeared from the living room and you didn’t particularly care. 

“So, who were we seducing?” Tae asked you, shifting away from the close position. 

“Everyone, we were fucking hot.” Jin remarked.

“Yoongi was being a bitch, didn’t think our little yn should have to put up with a bitch boy playing games.” Jimin told the boys before smiling at you.

“I believe whatever we were doing seemed to work because.. Mr. Min is missing and you’re still here. “ Jin teased before walking back to the kitchen, followed by you and the other two.

“I’m bored, can we leave?” you said, pouring yourself a new drink and facing them. They looked as tired as you did. 

“Leaving so soon? No after party?” Yoongi's voice chimed from behind the counter.

“Hmm, yea i think so. There isn't anything interesting here, besides the boys,” you paused and brought your cup up to your mouth, “and there aren't many interesting boys either.” 

You walked out of the house, followed by your friends and all settling into Jin’s car. 

It was tradition, to say the least, to spend nights at your and Taes apartment after late nights, and although it was only a little after 12, no one felt like going home alone. 

You oddly enjoyed this party more than the others you had been to, which was saying a lot seeing as you never liked attending the ‘popular kids’ parties. Not until now.

[boldlyanxious]

Suspect-- Remember when 11

Timinette

RW masterlist

The bright light filled the room.

Red Robin covered his eyes in shock at the sudden light.

"I wasn't supposed to do that," Marinette said.

The pink flash happened too fast for them to notice the red blur that zipped into her dress pocket. She looked down and her hands were no longer bound. She pushed off to move to the exit but found the combination of standing quickly while still under the influence of the drug she was given caused her to nearly fall over.

Red Robin moved over to catch her before she fell over, astonished that the quiet barista he had a crush on was the same as the bold, masked woman who shamelessly flirted with him. He turned back to the others who were also getting over the sudden brightness and figuring out what had happened.

"Well, are you happy now that she has been revealed?" Red Robin said angrily.

"No. I need far more information about why she is here," Batman said coolly.

"Are we dancing or is there room still spinning?" Marinette interrupted their angry staring contest.

Red Robin tried to stabilize her but she pulled away and pointed at Nightwing as if she was seeing him for the first time. She took several steps before she decided on words. No one felt like she posed much of a risk at this point so they just watched.

"When you got a cupcake for your brother, did you mean him?" she whispered in a loud voice while pointing back at Red Robin.

"What are you talking about?" Batgirl asked.

"What makes you say that?" Nightwing asked her.

She didn't answer. She pitched forward and collapsed. Nightwing barely reached out in time to catch her. There was a flurry of movement as everyone tried to help her at once. None of the team there had more than basic medical training so they gave her an IV for hydration and electrolytes. Her blood pressure was a little elevated and her pulse was fast but nothing was overly concerning and she was somewhat responsive.

Red Robin pushed to move her back to base where Alfred and Damian both had more medical training and to protect her identity by not taking her to a hospital.

---

When she came to, she couldn't immediately remember what happened. She tried to lift herself but everything hurt. She groaned and then heard movement in response. That didn't make sense because no one should be in her apartment and that didn't sound like Tikki. She opened her eyes and looked around.

The first thing she noticed was that she definitely wasn't in her apartment. Her arm had an IV but the location was not a hospital. It reminded her of a bunker. It might have once been a cave but it had clearly been hollowed out and things were added. She looked beside her in a chair by the bed and she saw Red Robin.

Her mind was still struggling to remember what had happened. She tried again to sit up and realized that it wasn't the aching that had prevented movement. Her arms were strapped down. But that wasn't even the most concerning part. Her arm was bare. She wasn't transformed.

Red Robin was speaking softly to her, trying to calm her but she couldn't remember what happened to have her end up here. She couldn't reach her ears and she couldn't call it for Tikki. Had Red Robin and the bat team learned about the miraculous?

"Hey, breathe deep for me. You are going to have a panic attack."

She focused on Red Robin when he started speaking. In another circumstance she would be happy to have him near but this had moved beyond casual flirting. She was a prisoner and they had a tube with an IV feeding into her veins. Her head was fuzzy and aching. She didn't know what they had given her to make her feel this way.

"Why?" was the first thing she was able to get out.

"What do you remember?" he asked softly.

"Are you poisoning me?" she asked.

Instead of answering immediately, he reached over and slid the IV out of her arm. He carefully bandaged the spot before he spoke.

"The IV is saline and electrolytes. You passed out. Do you remember?"

A door opened and Nightwing and Batgirl entered. Marinette started pulling against the bindings again. She just realized this must be their lair. That made them sound dastardly. She didn't think they were evil before but she was surrounded and restrained. But her head was beginning to clear a bit and she was starting to remember bits. It came out as two separate thoughts.

"Did you get struck by lightning," she asked Red Robin but she gasped suddenly and sat up quickly as far as she was able. "The children!"

She looked around the space as if she was expecting to see them somewhere. Batgirl assured her that the children made it out and were expected to be in a safehouse with their family somewhere. Nightwing was less concerned about reassurance and was ready to get answers now that she was awake.

"You have successfully convinced some of them that you were not involved. But the rest of us need answers."

"I don't know what you mean."

"I mean your clever ploy to lead us into a trap. Were we to be captured or killed?"

"I wasn't involved in anything. I was upset last night and I missed noticing what was going on until it was too late."

"So you set us up to go down with you."

"Yeah. See how well that worked. We are all trapped here together. Wait, my bad. You all had a perfect rescue except for the part where I'm now your prisoner," her voice was dripping with sarcasm.

"What did you expect?" he replied.

"The benefit of the doubt. I've done nothing to harm any of you."

"You did slightly tie up Red Robin and then there was that whole business of hitting everyone on that rooftop." Batgirl said.

Marinette just looked at her before speaking. She had thought Batgirl was on her side a little but perhaps she wasn't convinced.

"Well you guys famously beat or main rather than killing. What is it to be?" she looked around as she paused. "Or are you just that good at hiding the bodies. Are you going to feed me to actual bats?"

"We don't know what to do with you yet." Batman said as he entered the room. "But bats don't eat people."

"We were unable to find any record of you. We searched pay records from the coffee shop but you weren't in their records." Red Robin said.

"Typically I'd say you could just ask me out but I'm kinda pissed right now."

"That's probably valid," Batgirl said.

"You think? So are you planning to kill me or let me go?"

"First we need to know who is giving you identity information." Batman said.

"So you will kill me if I don't tell my name?"

"Pretty sure he meant how you knew their identities." Batgirl said in a stage whisper while pointing one hand at Nightwing and the other at Red Robin.

"It's not like they are hidden with magic. Probably everyone who had seen any of you with and without a mask would know."

"No. That is definitely something you alone seem to manage." Nightwing said.

"But we want to know about you too. Why are you hiding your identity. That seems suspect." Batman said.

"I woke up with an unknown IV and strapped to a bed in your doom bunker and you think my motives are suspect?"

She looked directly at him until he harrumphed and walked off.

Next

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[tenacityreturns]

five times kissed with aokaga

i. new to their relationship, but eager, this kiss is exactly as you’d expect it to be. aomine is an annoying little shit, which is a surprise to no one. and kagami loves it.

ii. kagami’s dad calls him at 2am and leaves him feeling bad. if he’d been by himself, he would’ve let it worry him and probably wouldn’t have been able to get back to sleep. good thing he isn’t alone.

iii. aomine’s really good at ghosting him. he had done it before, but now they’re in a relationship, kagami tries his best to help make him feel better. he feels like an idiot but momoi’s there to help. this is the longest because depression, big mood

iv. the vorpal swords reunite, but things are not as kagami would like them to be. this is my fav one because i love kise so much and he’s HERE so that’s all i care about. also you can tell i care about him more than the others bc he has speaking lines.

v. they’ve graduated, and kagami has been in the states for six months. aomine comes to visit.

i) it’s not their first kiss, but it’s still new. instincts tell kagami to push aomine away when he comes close because it’s dangerous to let someone else hold your heart. and his hands are rough, his eyes are cold, and his temper is short, but kagami trusts him. in this moment, they’re both sitting on the edge of their emotional barriers, waiting for the signal that it was safe to fall. he believes that one of them will go first. their personal insecurities are too great to just rush into it wholeheartedly.

     this kiss has a slower build-up than their first. they’re sitting on aomine’s bed, which is dangerous enough territory in itself because kagami is both completely inexperienced and eager to try. as if he could keep his hands off the hottest guy he knows! they inch closer. does aomine know the effect he has? does he feel the same? kagami understands that they both like each other, and want to make out right in this moment, but could he ever affect someone’s pulse like aomine does his? could kagami ever make him speechless? be the only thing he’d want to look at in a room? aomine’s eyes dance across kagami’s face. what’s he looking at? they make eye contact and it sparks a smirk.

     “ah, you’re looking at me with the intensity of a game,” but before kagami can get embarrassed and tell him to fuck off, aomine ducks in close. in a whisper, he continues: “you should loosen up.”

     “you should shut up,” kagami puts his hand on aomine’s chest and pushes him backwards. he climbs on top to straddle him, and it’s the look in widened blue eyes that’s telling him this was the right thing to do. in an instant, the wit returns and he’s smirking again.

     “make me.”

    maybe he would growl, say something like you’re a smartass who always wants to have the last laugh, you know that, right? but kagami is preoccupied. his tense jaw relaxes, and the anger evaporates. the judgement calls between calling out and making out with aomine daiki are often very close. maybe next time, kagami will pretend to be annoyed. ( hint: it won’t be the next time. )

♥

ii) kagami’s ringtone shatters the dark peace of his bedroom. his groggy, half-asleep arm drops heavily to his right, where, usually, it would connect with the bed-side table ( painfully ) and he’d find his phone. this time, he isn’t sleeping alone, and he accidentally hits his barely sleeping boyfriend.

     “hey,” aomine complains as he pushes himself up, “what is it? your phone?”

     kagami doesn’t give a linguistically clear response, but it’s enough of a grunt that aomine gets it. he holds his hand out, and aomine passes it over. it’s dad. it’s 2am. “shit,” kagami presses answer and holds it to his ear. when he speaks, it’s in english. “dad, it’s so early.”

     “good! can we talk?”

     “no, i mean it’s late. can you call me tomorrow?”

     “i’m on a business trip tomorrow, but i won’t be long! it’s friday night, taiga, don’t young people normally stay up ‘til the early hours anyway?”

     “how should i know?” kagami reaches over to squeeze aomine’s arm. it’s a sorry i woke you gesture, which gets a don’t worry about it shrug. as kagami’s father tells him not to be so snappy, he’s just checking in, his son is whispering away from the phone that he’ll be back in a minute. then he’s swinging his legs over the bed and going into the living room.

     “anyway,” asao continues distractedly, and kagami can tell that he’s multi-tasking. “do you want to go to europe with me this winter?”

    “huh?”

     “my business trip! it’s in france, but i was thinking we could take a tour.”

     kagami thought of the winter cup, of getting to have rematches against the generation of miracles. he thought of school ( last, of course ). “what? no, i can’t. i’ve got stuff going on here.”

     “they’ll survive without you for a month! or two weeks, i don’t know, whatever school break is. and you know what they say about french girls?”

    kagami groans. “i don’t care about french girls. i have a boyfriend, remember?”

     silence.

     “go by yourself. or why don’t you grab someone random off the street and tell them to ditch all their plans last minute like this?”

   silence.

    “sorry,” it’s instinctual, second-nature to apologise like this. he isn’t sorry, but he’ll say it anyway for some paternal approval. “people are counting on me and i can’t let them down. --- are you not coming here for christmas?”

    “business trip. alright, taiga. i’ll let you get back to sleep.”

    “bye, dad.”

    dial tone. ah, fuck, he’d hurt his dad’s feelings. he texts thanks anyway, and waits for a reply. it’s a smiley face almost instantly, but that doesn’t put him at ease. it’s not passive aggressive, but at least they weren’t arguing again like last time. when kagami returns to his room, aomine is sitting up on the bed with his arm draped over his legs.

     “everything... okay?” aomine asks quietly. kagami shrugs and plugs in his phone. tentatively as characteristically possible, he continues: “was your dad being a dick again?”

     “he called me in the middle of the night,” kagami climbs across the bed to get back to his side. “what do you think?”

     silence. the urge to apologise bubbles to the surface immediately, leftover from his phone call, but aomine moves and interrupts it. he lowers to one elbow, but it’s the other hand that provides distraction: tenderly brushing kagami’s persistent fringe from his forehead. he never knows what to say in the face of aomine being gentle like this. it’s not uncommon, just surprising, and kagami isn’t particularly good at returning the favour.

     “he asked me to go to europe with him,” kagami says instead, shuffling in a little closer so that his head on aomine’s pillow. his boyfriend is silent again, which is fair, because what the fuck? kagami knows, he gets it. “i’m not going, obviously.”

     “rich people are so fucked,” aomine watches his fingers glide across kagami’s hairline. “he knows you can’t just up and leave, and offers anyway. shit.”

    ��“right? i have basketball and school.”

     “sounds like it could have been nice, though.”

     “he wants to hook me up with french girls.”

     “never mind. you shouldn’t go.”

     kagami smiles, closing his eyes. “maybe i’ll go.”

     “man, shut up,” aomine pushes kagami’s head into the pillow.

     “hey!” kagami shoves his hand against aomine’s face. they let go. 

     “tch,” as if the last few seconds never happened, aomine tucks himself in close. his head fits just right nestled beneath kagami’s chin. “why couldn’t he call you back in the morning, anyway?”

     “he’s leaving then, or something.”

     “hm. go back to sleep.”

     kagami sighs. usually he can, but sometimes the call disturbs him too much and he’ll lie awake for hours. this is one of those times, he can already tell. ugh. his eyes are open again, blankly surveying the other side of the room. after a few minutes, he can feel aomine’s breathing start to level out and the arm around his body goes limp. red eyes close. please go back to sleep. who cares if his dad disregards all of kagami’s hobbies and relationships in one simple they’ll survive without you for a month? not him! kagami doesn’t care.

     “are you still awake?” aomine makes him jump, which makes a very sleepy sounding aomine jump too. “oiiiii.”

     “sorry! i thought you were asleep.”

     “no, you’re too tense, it’s not relaxing.”

     “daiki,”

     “shhhh,” aomine lifts his head enough to kiss kagami’s jaw. ahhhh!!!! that’s really cute!!!! it gets WORSE. aomine rolls forward, pushing kagami onto his back and lying half on top of him. he holds a hot, red face in his hands and plants three kisses on chin, nose, then forehead. “do you feel a little better?”

    “d--daiki, that’s so cute...”

     “answer the question.”

     “yes?”

     “okay.” he makes kagami’s muscular chest his new pillow. “if you’d have said no, i might have done that again.”

     “huh!!! don’t say that! do it anyway!”

     “shhhh, i’m sleeping.”

     kagami hugs him, but also gives aomine a good shake. a blue head raises with a stern look. “you think you’re getting kissed for that?”

     but kagami’s smiling widely, unable to hold it in. “i wish you were here every time my dad called me.”

     such a statement softens whatever faux grudge had been starting to root itself into the conversation. suffice to say, kagami gets his kisses. brief though they are, because aomine’s half-asleep as it is, it means the world. and it means kagami’s sufficiently distracted to fall asleep again.

♥

iii) aomine hadn’t gone to school that day. of course, kagami wasn’t to know that until after practise when kuroko gets a phone call from momoi asking if he was with them. no, he’s not. they’d been supposed to meet up, but aomine cancelled at lunch time without much explanation. he does that sometimes. at first, it used to annoy kagami, but aomine told him that sometimes he has days when he can’t bring himself to talk to anyone. he’s fine, he doesn’t want pity or anything, just space on days when it happens. i don’t like who i am when i get like that, he’d said. kagami had come to the conversation ill-prepared and hadn’t said anything in reply. he regrets that. so he assumes that this is what today had turned into, one of those days.

     the thing is, momoi also knows when he’s not feeling well. kagami had asked her once if there was anything they could do to make him feel better, somehow, and she said that there wasn’t. she usually takes a box of nice things around to his house for when he comes home. those sexy magazines he likes, a couple of cartons of banana milk, some snacks. kagami thinks of this suddenly as kuroko is ending the call. the words form on his tongue at the same rate as forming in his mind.

     “momoi,” he pulls kuroko’s phone to his ear, holding onto his friend’s wrist. “have you been ‘round to his house yet?”

     “hi kagamin,” she coos, then sighs, “no, i haven’t.”

     “let me do it,” his eyes cannot lift from the floor in his embarrassment ( there are so many of his teammates around, and kuroko’s right there! ). “i can be there in an hour. --------please.”

     “o-okay! i think dai-chan would like that.”

     “i hope so.”

     “i’m in town anyway, why don’t you meet me? bring tetsu-kun and we’ll call it a double date!”

     “how does that work if daiki’s not there? and ain’t the point of this to look out for him, anyway?”

     “ah. yes, i suppose. is tetsu-kun still there?”

     “yes, momoi-san.”

     “ah, tetsu-kun! were you listening? i’m sorry if we left you out! may i steal kagamin for a little while?”

     “i don’t need his permission!” kagami defends hotly, but evens out immediately, letting go of kuroko’s wrist. “i’ll go get changed and see you at that grocery store you mentioned.”

     “grocery... store?”

     “yeah, the one with the, uh,” kagami presses his finger and thumb together and rotates his wrist. like a... key? “the, uh-- popsicle stick? with kuroko, back in middle school?”

     she all but screams a huh down the phone. “why do you remember that!”

     “i don’t know!” because aomine and the others used their basketball ability to take down a bag snatcher, obviously! how fucking cool is that? aomine chasing after a guy on a moped and catching up? kagami’s blushing at the thought.

     momoi sounds like she’s blushing too, and she tumbles into the steep slope of gushing over kuroko and her own, self-described shyness. kagami grimaces. kuroko stares at him. yes, alright, this one is absolutely kagami’s fault for starting. he’ll take responsibility for that one. kuroko finds a nice, polite way to hang up without making her feel bad. damn, if only kagami had an ounce of the tact this guy has!

     but he’ll make do with what he has, and excuses himself from hanging out after practise to attend to something. everyone must have heard that phone-call, but he’s blocking those thoughts from his mind as he speed walks to that fateful store. walking isn’t fast enough. he types out five different texts to aomine that express that he hopes he’s alright, but all of them feel wrong. it’s almost a private joke with himself but as he’s sliding into a taxi to get him there faster, he finds the tiger emoji and the heart emoji. then clicks send by accident. oops. that was... kind of stupid. really stupid. fuck.

     momoi is standing outside with her phone to her ear as he arrives in the car. he pays the fare and gets out. is she on the phone to him? but she doesn’t say goodbye before pushing her phone into her purse, nor does it look like she hung up, so the image is a mystery lost on him. they’re quick inside the store. momoi chooses everything first, starting with the magazine he likes ( ah, thank goodness, mai-chan features a lot in this issue. yes, i’m sure he’ll be fine. but isn’t this strange for you, kagamin? // no, i don’t care. he can like what he likes. // huh! dreamy... ), but then kagami will pick up two others beside it and put it in the basket. she’ll pick up a three-pack of banana milks, and he’ll pick up another. she finds his favourite sweet snack of the week and he grabs five. same with the savoury option. kagami insists on paying, since it had been his idea to quadruple the purchases. on their way over to aomine’s house, they pass a toy shop. kagami only half-glanced, but a little, cuddly crayfish catches his eye.

     “do you think he’d like that?” kagami stops, and presses his index finger against the glass.

     “you want to buy him a toy lobster?” she repeats like it’s insane. he sighs. he has no idea what a good boyfriend would--- “he used to keep crayfish as pets sometimes. you knew that?”

     kagami nods. he doesn’t know how, but he does know that.

     she squeaks. her twinkling eyes and fingers held delicately against her face are making this into way more of an embarrassing ordeal than he’d wanted it to be, so he’s grumbling as he leaves her outside to go and buy it. the little creature is red like a lobster, and speckled, with big plastic eyes and a smiley face. maybe it’s a lobster. what’s the difference? it goes into the little gift bag and momoi has recovered by the time he’s back. she’s all smiles herself, but at least she isn’t saying anything.

     he’s glad she decides to walk him all the way there. kagami couldn’t remember the way. there’s no way of knowing if he’s in, she tells him as they walk up the path. his mother says he’s out, but he could have faked leaving and gone back to bed. he does that sometimes, apparently. it’s cold and wet today, kagami hopes aomine’s in bed. and it’s aomine’s mother who answers the door. she’s working from home today, about to enter a meeting, so she can’t stay and chat, but it’s lovely to see them both. momoi decides to leave kagami to go upstairs by himself. makes sense. she’ll wait in the living room. he takes a deep breath and carries the big bag of nice things up a dark set of stairs. into a dark hallway ( where is the light switch? ). 

     despite the darkness, he knows where aomine’s room is. and there’s a little window near it to bring in the light of a grey day. it’s like the sky sympathises. there cannot be sun when it is not warm inside aomine’s own chest. kagami knocks on the door but there’s no answer. he’s silent as he walks inside. the curtains are drawn, no lights are on. the bed looks empty. damn. he’s not in, after all. something buzzes on the desk and-- it’s his phone. why the hell wouldn’t he take that, what if something happened? kagami sighs. worry gnaws away at his heart. has something happened?

     the decision is made after some deliberation that the best place for the bag is by the desk. the little lobster toy, however, should go on the bed. it’s such a stupid little gift, isn’t it? maybe he should say that momoi chose it. throw her under the bus now, and then when she denies it later, kagami will be long gone and far from the reaches of embarrassment. he snaps the tags off and shoves them into his pocket, carrying it in both hands like a scared offering to a shrine. 

     aomine must have kicked off the duvet in a sulk, because it’s bunched up on one side of the double bed in a long pile. he must be imagining things when he sits and it shifts. the toy looks out of place on the dark pillow-case of a brooding teenaged boy. maybe that’s not fair, but the longer it sits there, the more out of character it feels and he snatches it away. into his hoodie pocket it goes! the blanket shifts again. shit. is--- is someone under there? an apprehensive hand reaches out to where the shoulder would be, connects with something hard. a shoulder.

     “go away, satsuki,” the duvet grumbles.

     kagami doesn’t know what to say. why has he frozen! the hand stays put. is aomine really saying he thinks that kagami’s hands are the same size as the petite girl’s? why is that so offensive all of a sudden... he exhales. the best thing to say is nothing, or so he decides, and instead he pulls the top of the cover down. aomine is facing the other way. kagami runs his fingertips gently through blue hair and still receives no reaction. does momoi do this? he feels as though he should feel jealous, but can’t find it in himself to. aomine should be loved, touched gently and often by those who adore him. whether that’s platonically or otherwise, it’s good if she does stroke his hair gently, and if aomine doesn’t mind, then who is kagami to interrupt?

     “i blew off tetsu and taiga today,” it sounds like a guilty confession. kagami feels like he shouldn’t have heard it, feels like he’s trespassing. “i’m such a fuck up, man.”

     “no, you’re not,” of course kagami knew that once he spoke in his deep voice, and not momoi’s high pitched one, that aomine would roll onto his back and stare in shock. he does, and the heavy gaze makes kagami feel even more like he shouldn’t be here. but he wants to help, if he can. kagami pulls his hand back and reaches into his hoodie pocket for the hidden lobster toy. he produces it. aomine stares at that instead. then back at kagami.

     “what are you doing here?”

     “i got you a crayfish-- thing. ‘cuz you said you liked them, but not to eat.”

     silence.

     “it’s stupid, i know,” kagami’s smile is weak, guilty, and he sets it atop the pillow like before. why he thought this would help is lost on him. “i hope you’re not mad that i came over, uninvited and all. i won’t do it again if you don’t like it.���

    silence. aomine cranes his neck to find the toy, and lifts his arm out of the cover to pick it up. he’s looking at it like he can’t believe it’s right there in his hand. he’s frowning. ah! but there are other things! kagami leaves the bed and grabs the bag from the desk. it’s the magazines he’s after. he pulls out all three of them at once.

     “momoi helped choose, ‘cuz you know i’d be useless.” the magazines are spread where kagami had been sitting. 

     aomine still isn’t saying anything, which is fine, and he can’t expect him to if he’s feeling like shit! but he doesn’t know what to say to fill the silence, and he doesn’t know if he should just leave! maybe that would be best! however, in his panic, he’s disregarding the point of a gift bag and taking everything out instead. snacks of all sorts crinkle in their packaging. to get a better picture of kagami derailing, aomine has shifted up to sit with his back against the headboard. watching. he opens up one of the packets of banana milk cartons to give to him in an act of that panic.

     “well, that’s it,” kagami says in defeat as he meets the end of the bag. “sorry for making a mess. i can go now, if you like. momoi’s just downstairs so i can get her if you wanna talk to her about anything.”

     he shook his head. but... to which part?

     “you-- you don’t need to worry about cancelling on us, you know. we can always meet another day.”

    “or you could come to my house.”

     “yeah, sorry. i wanted to help, but i hadn’t thought about what i was gonna say, i guess.”

     “come here,” he gestures with his head, but kagami looks instead at the pile of dumb gifts on the mattress where he would have sat. so he starts putting things back in the bag. aomine huffs ( but it sounds almost like it could have been a chuckle had the circumstances been different ), and pushes everything, including the magazines, off the side of the bed.

     “careful! what about mai-chan?”

     “come here,” aomine demands, reaching over and tugging his sleeve closer. is this good? kagami has no idea. he just does what he’s told and climbs over to sit beside his boyfriend. “you didn’t have to do all of this.”

     “yeah, i know that. i hoped it might help.”

     “were you mad at me when i cancelled earlier?”

     “no, i understood you weren’t doing great today. i-- i dunno, i just wanna say i don’t, like, expect anything from you when we meet up. we don’t have to do anything. if you wanna be alone, i get it, but i just-- i wanted to say you don’t have to be alone either. ‘cuz i wanna be there for you, if you’re okay with that too. i’m not trying to------”

    kagami’s sincere, if lengthy, statement is interrupted by a kiss to his moving lips. it’s short, but shuts him up nonetheless. aomine stays close afterwards, leaning on the hand resting just behind kagami’s folded legs.

     “do you wanna do nothing with me?”

     a little dazed, kagami can only nod. aomine piles the two pillows together and sorts the blanket out. he pushes kagami’s chest to lie down against the pillows, and aomine slides himself under his arm, head on chest. they lie like this quite comfortably. it’s warm-- no, it’s cosy. this feels just right. after a few minutes of steady breathing, with kagami smoothing blue hair ever so gently, aomine is asleep. kagami texts momoi a quick update, and she tells him that she’ll let herself out.

     maybe doing nothing isn’t half bad.

♥

iv) they’re at a vorpal swords reunion. it’s more of a meet-up than practise, because the hall they were going to use to practise had flooded and they weren’t able to go inside, and it’s too cold outside to play. so they’re standing with hot drinks in the park. ( kagami isn’t, he’d finished his and aomine’s ages ago. aomine will just have to turn up first. ) akashi managed to get a reservation at this nice, not too pricey restaurant, so they’re waiting a few minutes for noon when they can head over. it takes a little more planning than usual to seat, what? a dozen or so people? 

     kagami’s talking with kise and kuroko, waiting for his cocoa. to be clear, he’s standing with them, and kise is going off about something. then kuroko says something to shut him down and it makes kagami laugh. he’s so abrupt! and people say kagami’s blunt! kise pulls a tragic face, asks why kagami’s laughing, and kagami calls him lame. it’s fun everyone hanging out together!

     “taiga,” it’s a half-assed shout from a little way off, but he knows who it is without looking.

     kise’s saying something to him, but kagami’s attention is immediately drawn to the boy in the big puffer jacket, followed inevitably by his pink-haired friend. kagami glares at him. “you’re so late! what’s up with that?”

     “i was sleepy,” still shouting.

     “don’t say sleepy like you’re cute!” kagami is, unsurprisingly, still shouting.

     aomine stops walking and breathes a deep sigh into the air, dissipating in a cloud. “come here then.”

     the redhead turns, balling his hands into fists. his cheeks are heating up already, because he accidentally yelled that aomine sounded kind of cute just now... and in his stupid fucking beanie, he looks it too. they have a silent stand off, but aomine wins. kagami can’t resist going over to see what the hell he wants. can’t resist being near.

     “come here.”

     so he does, and he stalks over like it’s a great effort, or he’s about to end a fight. he’s not, of course, and the balled fists show discomfort and not aggression. he’s still embarrassed. it’s about to get worse. as soon as he’s near, aomine reaches forward with gloved hands and grabs onto the fluffy hood of kagami’s red parka.

     “what the hell do you mean looking so cute today?” he said like it’s an insult, kagami yelps and grabs his wrists. “you dress up just for me?”

     “it’s cold, how else am i gonna dress!”

     “what are you wearing under it?”

     “like, three layers,” he grunts, “get off my hood, asshole!”

     “aw, your face looks cold, though,” aomine is completely ignoring kagami, except that he decided, probably separately, to put his hands on kagami’s face. that’s actually super nice, and if there weren’t, what, a dozen or so people around that he wanted to look cool for, he’d have just stood still.

      “daiki!” he is shouting, once again. their best and only method of communication is to make as much noise as possible. kagami gnashes his teeth, threatening to bite. maybe he just will and teach aomine to: “quit being a pain!”

     “quit making it fun, then.”

     and quit looking like that so close! kagami isn’t about to kiss him, but he really would if they were in private. it’s the twinkling playfulness in those blue eyes that show kagami that he’s really the only thing on aomine’s mind right now. ugh, shut up, stupid idiot! aomine knows what he’s doing, too. you can tell by the shit-eating smile on his stupid, beautiful face. red eyes, as they often do, roll. he wraps his arms around his boyfriend’s waist and squeezes. it’s not a hug, it’s an attack.

     aomine’s turn to yelp. his hands move so that he’s hugging around kagami’s head, which is obviously enough to get him to loosen his grip.

     “careful, my hat!” kagami exclaims, as if that’s more important than the structural integrity of his skull. they’re still hugging, and nothing else exists, and god is aomine warm. so warm. “hi, anyway. how come you’re late?” 

     “satsuki slept in,” aomine nestles his cold nose into kagami’s bare neck. it’s fine if he does this, he doesn’t mind sharing body heat either. and who’s to see if aomine kissed him in that moment? nobody. but everyone will see the wide grin on kagami’s face, worlds away from the irritation he’d displayed seconds ago. 

     “sure,”

     their embrace ended, but aomine still kept an arm slung around kagami’s shoulders. he glances around for aforementioned girl, but she’s already fawning over kuroko. aomine sends his own form of greeting to his other friends and all but drags kagami over to see kuroko and kise. nods over to akashi who stands with midorima, probably talking about how much space there is in the universe, or some other brainy thing nerds discuss.

     “i wanna play ball,” kagami groans now they’re standing together. “it’s not that cold, right?”

     “kagamicchi, it’s icy! i’m not risking my neck for a one-on-one.”

     “i’m getting food then i’m going home.” (kagami’s home, mind you.)

     “yes, it is, kagami-kun.”

     somehow, being turned down by all three of them at once was less fun than he could possibly have dreaded. kagami deadpans and takes to sulking.

     “you’re all just chicken i’d beat you.”

     “big words for the guy who lost our last game.”

     “winter’s a hard season for you, isn’t it?” kuroko! traitor!

     kise puts his hand on his hip, looking at kagami like there’s something WRONG with wanting to play his favourite sport! “he’s really a guy with a one track mind, huh?”

     “shut the hell up! don’t gang up against me! we all met to play ball, didn’t we? i got excited about it, alright! winter sucks for everyone, that’s normal!”

     poor kagami. if the others have any sympathy for his plight, they’re pretty good at hiding it.

♥

v) six months, is it? kagami spends perhaps too long trying to figure it out. he came over to the states after graduation in march, and it’s september now... but then, daiki came over to visit in may, only staying for a fortnight because that’s all his job would allow. so really it’s only been four months. but those have been hard. lots of facetime, and phone calls at awkward times. but kagami always thinks to check what time it was in tokyo before he called, and it seemed that aomine has been similarly considerate. all the same, kagami has missed his boyfriend more than anything. it’s only after high school is behind him that he’s really appreciating that his youth ( as he thought of it ) is now over. he’s in the nba now. well, it’s kind of complicated, but he’s on his way!

     basketball is at the back of his mind now, though. aomine’s plane was due to land at 2am, but was delayed by half an hour on both ends. then there was an issue with the bags which aomine called and raged about. they’re so close. in the same building, even! but despite this, and kagami’s irrepressible nerves bouncing his legs and tearing at his heart, the fatigue gets to him and he falls asleep on an uncomfortable chair opposite the waiting area for arrivals. an unopened can of iced coffee sits loosely in his hands. to make an excuse, kagami hadn’t slept a wink the night before in all of his excitement. he’s fully and completely asleep. 

     he won’t hear his phone as it rings several times through. he won’t hear the suitcase roll and come to a stop beside his leg. he doesn’t feel the can get plucked from his fingers. the vague sensation of someone touching his hair doesn’t even bother him, but in the depths of his dreamless sleep, he hears a voice:

     “taaaiiigaaa,”

and it’s enough. crimson lashes flutter open sleepily, slowly. eyes focus on the dark face before him with the delay that only the deepest slumbers could provide. his head spins. is he still asleep? before he can question it any longer, he jerks forwards and wraps his arms around aomine in the tightest hug. kagami buries his face into his boyfriend’s warm neck, feeling the embrace returned. 

     it’s a desperate cling. the kind of hug that says more than words could. i missed you so much, i love you so much, please do not let go - i’ve been thinking about this since you got on the plane to fly back to japan. just in case this is a dream and he’s about to wake up. kagami inhales deeply. aomine. right here. in his arms.

     “don’t do that,” he says, “i smell bad.”

     “no, you don’t,” it’s mumbled, inaudible.

     “what was that?”

     “i said,” kagami pulls his head back so that he can see his boyfriend’s beautiful, gorgeous, perfect face. it mirrors his own. both hold the teary, tender expressions of lovers parted for too long. his words are long lost. he couldn’t remember what he’d said, what aomine had asked, what day it is. all he has to ground him in reality is a pair of blue eyes staring deep into his, and the arms wrapped tightly around his body.

     they move in unison. the kiss is soft, and sweet, and everything he could have hoped it would be. one of kagami’s hands leaves its place on aomine’s back to hold his face. is--- is that stubble he can feel under gentle fingertips? in six months? man! that’s so cool. and hot. god! his boyfriend is so beautiful! the kiss ends as kagami breaks into a wide grin. aomine chuckles. they press their foreheads together.

     “tell me what you were thinkin’ about just now,”

     “you, daiki,” he holds aomine’s face in both hands, now, smiling so much that it hurts, “i’ve been thinking about you ever since you left.”