#so its not just ''hes actually a sweetie pie who did nothing wrong''

[catboygirljoker]

i don't go to kingdomed hearts. but xiggy bardust strikes me as a campy retail worker who's been at the job for 18 years and knows about all his coworkers' marital issues. he gives off the impression of being a grumpy cunt but he'll cover your week one fuckup without hesitation & show you the lever on the soda machine to get free drinks

100000000000% TRUE this ask was fact checked by real xigbar scholars. literally defined by knowing everything about everyone's shit. spying on everyone. his japanese catchphrase is a reference to this as a pillar of his personality. he heard it from someone who heard it from someone. in the manga he reads gossip magazines

also i have 1 trillion thoughts about "xigbar is a dick but less of a dick than the fandom makes him out to be" but i'll keep it short. in 358/2 days, he acts like a dick to roxas but definitely in a way that reads more to me as "goofy weird uncle" than actual cruelty. dad on a road trip vibes. there are multiple cutscenes where he saves roxas's hide. he is also the only one of the top 3 highest ranking Organization members who never once misgenders xion, even in private conversations with just him and the other two!

so absolutely yes. weird middle aged coworker who knows everybody's business and is less of a dick than he appears to be.

[primofate]

Headcanons for albedo (and other genshin boys characters if you'd like) marriage?

Scenario: Will you marry me? + Marriage

Characters: gn! reader x Albedo

Warnings: Not proofread

Masterlist

https://primofate.tumblr.com/post/653296890583154688/masterlist-for-mobile-version-main-links

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Albedo

The day he asked you to marry him was rather normal. Just another day at his lab.

You’d been a constant in his life for a while now and perhaps it was just time and comfort that had pushed him to ask you.

But that particular day you visit his lab. You’re the only one allowed to go in even with the “Keep Out” sign on, aside from Sucrose.

Albedo always forgets his needs, lunch included and without fail, ever since he met you, you had been the one to take care of his simple needs.

“Al, it’s time to take a break,” you chide him as you open his door. Sucorse is not there, you notice.

He has this look in his eyes, as if he had been in deep thought just before you had come in. “Y/N,” he greets you, voice soft and smooth and just sounds like music in your ears. “Marry me,” 

You nearly drop the lunch you prepared for him, but he looked prepared and had fished out a ring from his pocket. The gem was a bright green, just like his beautiful eyes.

“W-Wait, why? Are you sure?” He takes your hand and slips the ring in its proper place, looking curiously up at you. “I’m quite certain, are you not?” Of course you were, you just hadn’t expected it at that time.

The wedding is intimate, surrounded only by your closest friends and family in a lovely clearing up on a hill, his favourite place to sketch, where all the Cecilia flowers grew. 

Living with him was like getting back into a routine that you never knew you had. Waking up next to him, tangled up in his arms was even better. 

There was no set schedule of who woke up first. Sometimes it was you, sometimes it was him. But when it was him, he would lay there for a while just giving you secret kisses on your forehead. 

He didn’t think bliss would be so easy to achieve.

As for cooking, Albedo only knew a select few recipes, mostly because he was very particular with his tastes. You were the one who took charge in the kitchen most of the time but he often went in there to ask for a taste. He’d always be happy with what you cooked, and would give you a kiss followed by a small thank you.

Actually he was only there to get a taste of your lips, not the dish.

You could tell when he was in a bad mood, because he would sigh a lot, and seem to ruminate on the couch. He asks for your company often at times like that, “Come here,” he would simply say and stretch one arm out to reach for you.

You comply readily and sit in his lap as he lays his head atop your shoulder. Whispering and talking to you about what had went wrong with his research and experiments.

You offer up suggestions to him, to which he listens to carefully. One of the reasons why he thought you would be a great life partner was because you had a very bright and flexible mind.

Your good looks and kindness was a big plus, of course. 

As a married couple you also had days where the two of you just didn’t agree with each other. Sometimes it just came down to the two of you being tired and unfortunately being more snappy. He was always calm about it but he could get pretty blunt quickly if his bad mood was mixed with irritation and nothing going his way at work.

The two of you had a silent agreement to take some time off doing your own thing if the two of you were irritated at each other. Mostly because he didn’t want to say the wrong things to you and neither did you. “Let’s... discuss later, okay?” 

If he unfortunately still used his harsh words he’d feel extremely guilty about it after reflecting on it. But, as it is, that doesn’t happen a lot cause he’s extremely careful with his words, knowing that it was a powerful weapon. “I don’t ever want to be the reason for your tears,”

When you had your bad days he will drop everything and come to you, drying your tears if any. 

Is the type to actually be really good at house chores, but his workspace is a mess.

Taglist:  @larkspyrr @outlet-0 @rim0na @sweeti-pie​ @l3mon-mxshroom (can’t seem to tag you)

[fantasticstoryteller]

New Amsterdam Chapter 13

Deadpool watched the people watching the cat with fascination. Peter had quickly been pushed to the side by the new arrivals, but he didn’t seem to mind standing on the sidelines with Wade as the cat gave birth to a sixth kitten.

{We should have ripped that bitch’s arms off for the way she pushed Petey-Pie out of the way.}

[You are going to get Spiderman to hate us.]

“She was rude,” muttered Wade.

Peter looked up (he was in the circle of Wade’s arms again) and said, “I don’t think she’s seem kittens born before.”

{Kiss those pink lips!}

[We’re supposed to get him to confide in us, remember? That won’t happen if we’re sexually harassing him.]

{But—but—but they’re so puffy!}

“Despicable Me reference,” muttered Wade. Most people tended to get anxious and give him space when he was talking to the boxes, even if he was doing it quietly. Peter just seemed content to stay there, in his arms, and listen to the madness. He didn’t even ask questions.

[To be fair, Tony doesn’t get anxious when you talk to us.]

{He just wants to kill us! But he can’t!}

Wade winced as Yellow’s unmusical laughter danced through his head. “Are you all right?” Peter asked. Softly, so as not to attract attention.

Wade chuckled low and soft and gently chucked Peter under the chin. “Peachy-keen Petey-Pie,” he said.

Peter frowned, clearly not believing him, and opened his mouth to say something when Pepper walked into the basement holding a cardboard box. Behind her, like uncomfortable puppy, trailed the dark haired former Winter Soldier himself, Bucky Barnes.

[Good timing. The kid doesn’t need to be burdened by our insanity.]

{Didn’t you hear him earlier? He’s legal. LEGAL. L to the E to the G to the—}

[DON’T YOU DARE!]

“All right everybody,” Pepper announced firmly. “As soon as the cat is finished giving birth, we’ll put her and the kittens in this box and then the incinerator will be back in working order.”

“That cat is going to shred your arms if you go to move her,” said the blonde that had pushed Peter out of her way to watch the cat give birth.

Pepper jerked a thumb to Bucky. “That’s why he’s here.” Bucky waved his metal arm at the people around them. “Now, it is in the middle of the work day—so get back to work!” Pepper ordered. The chaos began to straighten out as people, muttering to themselves the whole time, filed out of the basement.

{See? See? We’re just like the other people!}

[We are nothing like the other people! They only have one person in their heads!]

{You don’t know that!}

Peter went to leave with the others, but Deadpool’s arms tightened around him. He looked at the boxes he’d been supposed to put in the incinerator and then bit his lip. He was clearly torn between not wanting to get Pepper’s attention and leaving without completing his job. Deadpool didn’t know what was in those files that made them need to be burned so badly, but Peter was determined to do his job properly. Of course he was.

{Petey is a sweetie!}

[Shut up you psycho. You’re going to make me barf.]

“Peter.” The boy jumped when Pepper said his name and tried to back away—but Deadpool was right behind him blocking his escape.

Peter swallowed hard. “Mi—Miss Potts,” he said softly.

Pepper sighed as she looked at the boy. “I am not going to bite your head off,” she told him pertly. “I just came to ask if you’re being bothered.”

“I’m sure Mr. Stark doesn’t mean it,” began Peter.

Wade couldn't help it. He burst out laughing and hugged the cute boy to him tighter. “She’s talking about me,” he informed the innocent child.

He could see Peter’s nose wrinkle in confusion. “Why would I be bothered by you?” he asked.

The genuine innocence of the question took Deadpool’s breath away for a moment. “Oh, you sweetie!” he exclaimed as he rubbed his cheek against Peter’s.

[…I like this kid.]

{We should keep him forever!}

Pepper’s mouth twitched as Bucky, behind her, coughed. “Yes. Deadpool is known for being—extreme. And I heard about the slime.”

Peter winced.

{KILL HER!}

[Down!]

“I’m sorry,” said Peter.

Bucky scoffed from where he stood. “Don’t worry about it. We all know Chambers has a stick up his ass. And it’s not like the slime tried to eat him,” he added.

Peter relaxed—slightly. Pepper continued talking. “And I know just what to do with the cat and her kittens,” she said with a grim smile that made Deadpool tremble slightly.

“What are you going to do?” asked Deadpool with morbid fascination. He knew, because of all the cat pics on Pepper’s Facebook page, that she would never do anything to hurt the little things—but that was an evil smile.

“I’ll put them on Tony’s desk. It’ll give him something besides Peter to focus on.”

“I don’t know why he’s focused on me!” protested Peter. Deadpool could hear the panic hiding in his desperate voice.

{Hug him close! It makes him feel better!}

[That’s—actually a good idea.]

Since all three of them agreed (and solely because they wanted to make Peter feel better and not because it felt nice having Peter in his arms and tucked in close), Wade gently tightened his hold on Peter. Who, predictably, relaxed.

[We’re going to have to figure out why that happens. It’s not normal.]

{Just LIVE it!]

Pepper sighed. “Peter,” she said wearily, “you have the unfortunate distinction of being one of four people who have told Tony ‘no’.”

“Five,” corrected Bucky.

“Excuse me?” Pepper turned to look at him and he shrugged, fearlessly.

“Five,” Bucky repeated. “Steve also said ‘no’.”

“Since,” said Pepper frostily, “neither you nor Steve actually insisted and did, in fact, end up doing it anyway, the two of you don’t count.” She turned back to Peter and Wade. She looked at Peter with something like—pity? Sympathy? Wade wasn’t sure. “The other three are Howard, Tony’s father, me, and Spiderman. So you’re in good company.”

That had Deadpool’s attention. “Webs told Tin Dick ‘no’?” he asked. “To what?” He’d always thought the two of them had gotten along remarkably (and disgustingly) well. What in the world could Iron Man ask that Spiderman wouldn't agree to?

Pepper didn’t hold anything back. “Tony asked Spiderman to tell him who he was,” she said calmly.

Too calmly. Heroes just were not supposed to do that to each other. “What?” he demanded harshly.

[Think it’s connected to the suit who wanted to hire us for the same thing?]

{No wonder Spidey said ‘no’!}

“He wanted to know Spiderman’s identity,” Pepper calmly repeated, eyes on Deadpool.

“That’s wrong,” said Deadpool with uncharacteristic seriousness. He tried to meet Pepper’s eyes with his own, but she could only see the whites of his mask. “You know it’s wrong. Spidey has a reason he hasn’t told anyone who he is.”

A single eyebrow rose gently. “Has he told you?”

“I’m not asking,” said Deadpool firmly. He didn’t notice his grip tightened on Peter. “I know Webs. If he hasn’t told anyone who he is, he has a reason, a good reason.”

“Wade?” asked Peter.

Wade realized he was squeezing tight enough to hurt and released. “Sorry baby,” he said. “Are you okay?”

{No! Don’t let him go! He fits so nicely in our arms!}

The adorable nose scrunched up again. “I’m stronger than I look,” he said.

A harsh, metallic screeching mixed with hissing brought their attention to the cats as Barnes scooped them out of the furnace and into the padded box. “Done,” he said as he handed the box with its still hissing cats to Pepper. He looked at Wade. “I happen to agree,” he said softly. “But you know how Tony is.”

Deadpool snorted. “That’s why he built a tower shaped like a giant purple dick,” he said. He grinned as Peter snorted with stifled laughter.

[goodwriterwithbadhabits]

Day6 Reaction to their S/o being a little.

Masterlist

This is actually more like, what kind of caregiver they would be

ALSO

This is based on a friend of mine who is a little (and a functioning adult) as well as myself and my sister helping take care of her. (If you know who it is, say nothing)

~

Jae: The Comforting One

Jae was shockingly mature when he found out

Ever since he's made it his mission to tease the daylights out of his S/o

they really are the cutest thing ever

Moreso when they regress

But if they need him to be serious, they need help of just feel like shit,

He's not gonna joke around

“Babe?” His voice echoed through the apartment, as he dropped his keys in the basket. Your whine was all he could hear, pulling a chuckle from his lips. “Where are you, cutie pie?” He called, toeing off his shoes and hanging his jacket up.

“Jae.” You whined again, finally making an appearance. Jae was expecting you to be pouty, not upset, but there you were, padding towards him in your Pikachu onesie, stuffed Charmander under your arm and tears in your eyes. His smile dropped immediately, opening his arms for you to run into. Once your head was pressed against his chest, he scooped you up, bringing you both to your room to wrap a fuzzy blanket around your shoulders.

“Its okay, take your time, tell me when you're ready.”

~~

Sungjin: The Parental One

He was super confused at first

but after some research, he became very chill about it

He's always asking if his S/o has eaten

like always.

Pretty much the quietest of the two

always steers his s/o away from triggers

and stuffed animal shops.

Sungjin hummed to himself as he shouldered open the door, bags of takeout in his hands.

“Hi baby!” The chirp of your voice makes a grin erupt on his face immediately.

“Hi sweetie, how was work?” He asked, toeing off his shoes, accepting the kiss you offered him.

“It was lame, people suck.” You huffed. He laughed at your antics, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

“Well I brought Chinese food, will that make you feel better?” Your face immediately changed to one of excitement.

“Can we watch Disney movies too?” You asked, bouncing on the balls of your feet, following him to the living room.  

“Absolutely.”

Young K: The Unexpected One

He doesn't really seem like someone who would make a good caretaker

but he will always protect his s/o

mind you, he's always a little shit

teases the fuck outta his s/o, both in and out of little space

but is raring and ready to kick ass if anyone else tries to tease them

Lives for naptime

Brian was lounging on the couch when you entered the house. A frown was etched onto your face as you tossed your bag on the floor. He sat up, locking eyes with you, as you seemed to fall in on yourself.

“Do you wanna go put on your onesie and cuddle?” He offered. You nodded but didn't move. “Do you want my help?” You nodded again, to which he sprang up from the couch, taking your hand in his. “Okay then, let's go.” He let you lead him into your shared room and helped you pick out a onesie before sitting on your bed, arms open.

“What are you doing? I have stuff to do.” You pouted.

“Nope, not right now.” Brian decided, shaking his head. “Nap time.”

“But-” Brian moved too quickly for you, grabbing you in his arms and pulling you onto the bed, trapping you there.

“Nap time.”

Wonpil: The Playmate

He probably loves buying them toys and stuffed animals more than they love getting them

constantly worries about his S/o

is pretty good when it comes to the softer side of caregiving

but is awful with rules

he just wants to make his s/o happy

“Babe, look what I got you!!” Wonpil waved the small stuffed octopus at you, grinning like a maniac. He had won the small stuffy at a ring toss game at the fair you were at, though it took him almost an hour.

“I love it!” You squealed, clutching the stuffy to your chest. “Thank you!!”

“What shall we call him?” Wonpil asked, leading you towards a food booth.

“Hmm,” You lifted the little blue creature up to eye level, scrutinizing it intently. “Octavian.” You decided, a grin erupting across both of your faces.

“What children.” The voice made both of you stop, and Wonpil's heart sank as your face did.

“Hey, don't listen to them.” He squeezed your hand, pulling your attention to him. “There's nothing wrong with you.” He assured you, pulling you closer to him, and using his free hand to wipe the tears that had began to trail down your cheeks. “Why don't we go back home and order food for tonight? All the food here is super messy anyway.”

“Can we get Panera?” You asked quietly.

“You want mac and cheese?” He asked, a smile on his face as he led you towards the exit.

“I want mac and cheese.”

Dowoon: The Worried One

He is always worried about his S/o

in or out of little space

he knows the teasing he gets about having childish moments

Hates the thought of his S/ being teased over something they can't control.

Lives for buying them gifts tho

Dowoon was rather happy teaching you the drums, you were sitting on his lap, his hands wrapped around yours as he walked you through playing Stop the Rain. You hadn't planned on a drum lesson but when you had paused in a music shop to get Jae a set of picks for his birthday, Dowoon had sat behind the drum to play and you followed shortly thereafter.

When you had finished the song, Dowoon pulled you against him, giggling into your back. You were also giggling, though outwardly, and clapping as well.

“Excuse me, how old are you?” The shop attendant's voice cut through your moment, making you both look up at him.

“What?” You asked, voice a pitch higher than normal.

“I asked how old you are, no one under 18 can touch the instruments, its store policy.” He looked a tad shy, almost embarrassed. Dowoon cleared his throat.

“I'm 24,” He told them, deep voice hitting different to the shop assistant who looked up at the ceiling for help.

“Oh, umm..” Dowoon tapped your side, having you stand so he could put the drum sticks away.

“Don't worry about it, we're gonna leave right now, right babe?” He held out a hand towards you and you scurried forward to grab it, nodding. “Thanks for letting us play.”

“No problem.” The assistant's voice cracked as he waved you out. “Sorry.”

“You okay?” Dowoon asked, leading you away from the shop.

“I'm okay.” You smiled at him, but he could hear the crunching of plastic in your pocket as you attempted to distract yourself.

“Okay,” He started, pulling your hand out of your pocket to see the trash you were playing with. “Well, why don't we start making you feel better by getting you an actual toy to play with?” He couldn't help but grin when your face automatically changed into one of happiness and excitement.

“Really!”

“Of course, anything for you, sweets.”

[buffyversefanfiction]

The Haunting of Buffy Summers

Warning: I do not own the rights to the television show Buffy the Vampire Slayer, its spin-off series Angel, its dark horse comics continuation series, or any of the characters created by Joss Whedon and others in the Buffyverse. 15 years +, Mild to Strong Violence, Sexual References. F/F, F/M, M/M, Other + 

PART ONE

It had been months since the passing of Buffy and Angel’s son Tristan and despite the relief over there being no sign of the shadow demon that was released at the time of Tristan’s death there was very little reason to celebrate for Buffy and co this Halloween as Buffy and Angel both mourned their child, Dawn grieved her nephew, Faith a friend, Willow an honoree nephew and Spike an strained ally. Yes, this Halloween nobody had celebration in mind, well almost nobody. “Xander, you absolutely cannot dress up my niece as a pumpkin!” Buffy told her best friend as she and Xander walked through a local cemetery within San Francisco. “With our luck with Halloween you’ll end up turning baby Joyce into an actual pumpkin.” Buffy had always called her niece baby Joyce instead of just Joyce, even though she was a young child now and no longer a baby she could never bring herself to just call her Joyce, perhaps because it was confirmation there was no other Joyce amongst the living anymore or perhaps it just brought up too much pain. Buffy thought about her mother everyday but more so since the death of her son, more than ever she wished for her mother to be there and somehow make everything okay not that she could even if she was still alive but still wishing was better than accepting the harsh reality of what her life had become. “Your niece wants to be a vampire of all things it is literally like she knows what we all get up to when we join her aunt Buffy for late night walks.” Xander admitted to her. “I for one don’t feel like having to stop my five-year-old from biting my neck because Halloween got too real again!” “Somehow I’d still prefer that over my niece potentially becoming somebody’s pumpkin pie despite how delicious pumpkin pie maybe.” Buffy replied to her best friend. “You should come over for Halloween might be nice spending it with family,” Xander suggested. “Especially after everything…” “Nah, maybe next year this year I really do not feel like getting caught up with Halloween.” Buffy responded, making it clear she wanted to be alone. “Do not get me wrong if some wacky stuff starts happening text me but otherwise it is me, my couch and some good old-fashioned movie watching.” Before Xander could reply to Buffy’s rejection of his invitation to spend Halloween with him, Dawn and baby Joyce Buffy stopped walking, becoming frozen within the spot she stood in, forcing Xander to stop walking, clearly concerned for the slayer as the slayer turned to her side to notice her son Tristan’s grave, her eyes going straight towards his tombstone. “I cannot believe I almost walked past it!” Buffy told Xander, the hurt of seeing her son’s grave clearly all over her face. “Burying dust is kind of weird when you think of it, I mean he was technically already supernaturally cremated…but it sure is nice to be able to see him every night…just wish I did not have to wait for his death before I could be this close to him.” “Maybe you should start skipping this cemetery?” Xander suggested as he put his arm around Buffy and side hugged her tightly. “Willow and I could patrol this cemetery, so you do not have to be here all the time.” “Thanks for the offer Xander but I cannot leave him again, I have already left him too many times before.” Buffy replied as tears began forming in her eyes. “Even if he does not know it, I do not ever want him to think I’m gone.”

The very next morning, the morning of all hallows eve certainly proved to live up to it’s spooky legacy for Buffy as she awoke from her bed, climbed out of it, stood up and walked over to her nearby dresser where she sat down in front of the mirror, picked up and brush and began combing her luxurious long blonde hair. “Happy Halloween,” Buffy mumbled to herself as she continued brushing her hair before she suddenly heard the roaring noise of the television coming from the living room of the apartment she shared with Willow. Buffy stood up from her dresser chair, charged towards her bedroom door, opening it with force before running straight into the living room where the deafening noise of the television continued to grow louder as she desperately search for the television remote within the corners and sides of the nearby couch. The noise was not only heard by the slayer as she quickly discovered when Willow rushed out of her room chanting loudly in a long dead language before waving her hand and suddenly the noise was gone. “Hey Buffy love you and everything but the next time you try deafening me in the morning I may have to turn you back into a rat.” Willow joked with her, only to be left shocked by a stunned Buffy who stared blankly towards the television. “Buffy, I was only joking about the rat thing.” Willow glanced over to the television to see what Buffy was staring at only for her to be left shocked to see the television was switched off. “Do not tell me we are haunted again,” Willow complained to Buffy. “Here is hoping it is something you killed this time and not me!” “I think it was Tristan,” Buffy admitted to her redheaded best friend. “I was at his grave last night he is clearly trying to contact me.” “Buffy, you are at his grave every night I doubt he’s decided to make contact for the first time on Halloween.” Willow told her as she began walking towards Buffy. “I’d love it for him to be able to say goodbye to you but you and I both know it’s probably some pissed off spirit or something else.” “Yeah I know,” Buffy sighed as she sat down on the couch. “It is just the shadow demon is out there somewhere whose to say Tristan is not?” “We have been through this before sweetie, Tristan’s at peace and maybe that’s the best place for him to be.” Willow replied as she sat down on the couch, sitting next to Buffy. “I do not think he’s anywhere bad I think he’s finally at peace and I think that is something he wanted for a really long time.” “Your right it is probably just some new Halloween horror that I am going to have to kill or whatever it is that we call getting rid of a ghost...” Buffy responded, trying and failing to sound any less sad than she was. “Or we could call ghostbusters and I can go back to bed?” “There’s a powerful psychic that I tend to go to from time to time when I feel the need to hear something from the other side her name is Madame Majestic and she is really good I’ll go see her and see if it is spirit related before we hit the books for alternatives.” Willow revealed to her best friend, eager to take some responsibility off the struggling slayer. “Here’s me thinking all those mystic megs and Madame magics were all phonies.” Buffy admitted before standing up from the couch. “Drop me her address and I’ll go see what Madame Majestic has to say about haunted televisions.” “I could go for you…you know…in case you get hurt when you realize it is not Tristan.” Willow suggested as she stood up to face her friend. “This seems like more like a case for a witch than a slayer maybe you should just go back to bed and let me handle this.” “I’m fine with going Willow to be honest I would rather stay busy and I think I want to handle this one alone for now…you know until witch assistance is needed.” Buffy told her, reassuring the witch that she would be fine going solo. “Okay…I could go with you though? Maybe even get Xander to tag along like the old days just us three?” Willow offered, worried to leave the slayer alone, knowing how much Buffy had been struggling following the death of her son. “I kind of just want to be alone!” Buffy admitted, feeling guilty for pushing away her friend but needing the time to herself.

Buffy walked down one of the many back alleyways within San Francisco in search of Madame Majestic’s headquarters eager to find out what caused the television annoyance earlier that day, convinced it was the spirit of her late son despite her friend Willow telling her otherwise but not wanting to get her hopes up at the same time in case Willow was right. Buffy stopped at a door painted a bright baby blue before noticing the writing “Come on in, I’m waiting” written on the window next to the door. “Well here goes nothing!” She mumbled to herself as she started knocking on the door only to be met by no answer. She waited at the door longer than she would wait at most doors that people did not answer because she believed her best friend would never steer her wrong and after several minutes the bright blue door suddenly opened by itself, alarming Buffy at first by a tell tale sign off what may await her when she walked into Madame Majestic’s. Although that worry never stopped Buffy as she knew deep down whatever was haunting her this Halloween would find her again one way or another and therefore, she was ready to find it first. “You must be Buffy Summers you have many fans on the other side and even more enemies.” Madame Majestic greeted Buffy, as Buffy walked into a darkly lit room to find Madame Majestic dressed up like a stereotypical gypsy styled psychic, sitting at a table with a clear crystal ball. “You got to be kidding me! This is right out a horror movie well a B horror movie although every horror movie is a B when your life is an A horror.” Buffy complained to the psychic as she walked over to the table and sat down on a seat opposite her. “I am very aware of your chosen destiny Miss Summers just as much as you are aware of a spirit haunting you,” The psychic replied to the slayer. “You are confused by the spirits identity and even more so confused that they have chosen Halloween of all times to contact you but you should not be frustrated with this spirit as Halloween hauntings are very common. It is after all when the veil between the living and the dead is at its weakest.” “I think I’ve heard that before never thought much of it till now. Is this spirit…. evil?” Buffy wondered, unable to ask if it were her son, fearing Madame Majestic would say no. “The lines between evil and good are blurred with many especially with your son but no he is not trying to harm you in fact he needs your help.” Madame Majestic revealed to the slayer who was shocked to learn she really was being haunted by Tristan. “Of course, I’ll help him!” Buffy declared to her. “I will do anything to help him…how can I help him?” Buffy was unsure whether or not she believed this psychic’s words not because she did not trust Willow’s recommendation but because she did not want to get her hopes up like she had so many times before when it came to Tristan but she knew she had to do whatever the psychic told her to do in order to potentially speak with her son once more and help him in any way she could.

After a short but seemingly long to her kind of day, Buffy Summers was now laid on her fully made bed within her bedroom in her San Francisco apartment, her eyes closed while she was deep in thought. She had been giving some herbs that was put in a tea that she had drank before going to her room after Willow ensured her what she was taking was not some hippie thing that’d make her go on some bad drug fueled trip. She just lay there with her eyes tightly shut, thinking of the son she lost, not daring to open her eyes or move in anyway, knowing that if she did before it was time then the psychic’s potion would not work. She laid there for what felt like forever until she almost found herself falling asleep when suddenly she was now stood next to the bed looking dazed and confused as she looked down at her own body, stunned that there was now two of her as she realized she was having some kind of magical out of body existence. “You know it is a whole lot spookier on this plane when you have a body to look at in the living realm.” Tristan declared, as Buffy turned around to see her son stood in front of her with a smile on his face. “Tristan…” Buffy replied softly, as she began to smile at the sight of her son, a sight she believed she may never have seen again. “It is nice to see you to mum!” Tristan said to her, shocking Buffy by calling her mum for the first genuine time. “But I am afraid to say this is not going to be a happy family reunion!”

[unhealthyobsessionmarvel]

I Win- Reader/Dom!Tom Hiddleston

A/N : So im writing a fanfic but I couldn’t get this outta my head and it doesn’t fit into the current plot of my fanfic so here goes.

Summary/ Backstory: You and Tom have been dating for a couple months already. Today you get into a bet with Bucky and things get interesting…

Warnings: Cursing, Smut, Bad Grammar?

You and Tom were in the bedroom watching a movie. You were sitting on the couch while Tom was on the bed. “Why are you so far away?” He whined.

“I didn’t even realise” You replied.

“Come here” he demanded.

“nooo, I’m comfy here” you groaned.

“Please” he made a pouty face. “baby come on” “Fine” You got up and walked over to Tom.

You sat beside Tom and he laid his head on your lap. You were running your hand through his curls. A few minutes later he sat up and pulled you so you were sitting in-between his legs. He wrapped his arms around your waist and you turned to give him a quick peck on the lips. He rested his head on your shoulder. After a few minutes of sitting like this he started giving you soft kisses along your shoulder then down your arm and back up again. You tried to ignore him and watch the movie, but eventually you gave in and paused the movie.

“something wrong” he said smugly “Can you not?” You said, annoyance in your voice “Am I distracting you?” He asked with a sly grin on his face. “Yes” You replied bitterly. “Damn you can’t focus on anything.” He stated with a chuckle “What do you mean by that?” You asked, raising an eyebrow “You just can’t” He stated simply “YES I CAN!” You exclaimed. “Really?” He questioned you “Yeah” you said confidently

“Then lets have a bet.” He said. You were in deep shit now.

“I’m listening.” You quirked an eyebrow at him

“You have to finish reading your book in 30 minutes, while I try to distract you.” “and if I can’t?” “You have to do whatever I say for 2 hours." “And if I can” “then I’ll do whatever you say for 2 hours.” “ok deal” “And if you don’t do whatever I say, then I can do whatever I want to you. And vice versa Deal?” “Seems fair enough." “ok good.” “Wait.” You said “Yea”

“I think we need some rules first” “ugh you and your rules. Fine!” “Rule number one: We can’t tell anyone about this.” “Ok.” Tom nodded. “BUT, if one of us tells then they have to do whatever the other person tells them to do for a week.” “A WEEK?” “why do you think you are gonna tell anyone?” “No of course not. But a week? Really?”

“do you agree or not?” “I mean a week?” You weren’t sure “Yes! Agreed?”

“Fine whatever” You rolled your eyes

“Ok whats rule number 2?” “No video or photographing embarrassing things. Agreed?” “Yes. And rule three?” “nothing involving others”

“what?” “like you can’t make me call or text someone.” “fine” “basically anything involving others. We can only do things that involve the both of us.” “oh just the both of us huh?” He wiggled his brows “you want me to add a 4th rule?” You threatened.

“I’m just kidding around.” He chuckled

“So you agree to the rules?” “Yes. Lets start?”

“Ok”

You got you book, there was only a few pages left and you were confident.

“ready?” He asked

“yes” you replied “timer starts now”

You began reading and after a minute he started to sing. He was actually starting to distract you. You did your best to focus. Once Tom realised singing wasn’t working he started yelling out nicknames. “Sugar” he called out. You didn’t reply “SUGAR” you weren’t going to reply. “BABY. HONEY. SWEETIE. PIE.” He continued to yell out pet names. You were halfway though the time and you were only 40% done. You continued reading, then Tom started yelling out numbers. “sixty five. Seventy two. Three” he said. It was actually distracting because you kept getting lost while reading. “BABY LOOK ITS IRONMAN” he yelled, “FIFTEEN. FOUR. ONE. SEVEN HUNDRED.” He yelled even louder. Then Tom played music, it was obnoxiously loud, and started dancing. With around 5 minutes left Tom left you alone. He opened the door and left it open, he knew it was one of your pet peeves. The timer buzzed and you still had a few pages left.

“So did you finish?” He asked smugly. He knew you weren’t done, he was just rubbing salt on the wound.” “No” “So I win.” “yeah” you replied, you were pissed.

“Since I win, and you have to do everything I say-” “Just!” You cut him off “what do you want me to do?” “Massage my back” He grinned “I can do that.” You nodded “ok wait let me just start the timer again” Tom started the timer “ok”

“lay on the bed” You requested “I tell you what to do” He reminded “ok ok sorry. Lay on the bed please” “better” He was lying face down and you kneeled beside him. You began massaging his back. You massaged him for around ten minutes, then Tom told you to stop. You got off the bed and he sat up.

“Baby come here” he said. And you moved closer to him. He wrapped his arms around your waist and started taking again. “I’m so glad your mine.” “I’m glad too” you smiled

“Now.” He became a little more serious. “Get on your knees” he said. The way he said it brought a chill down your spine. You could hear the sheer power in his voice. You got down on your knees. Honestly, win or lose you would have still done what he told you to, cause he was right you were his, and he was yours. “Sugar?” You looked at him.

“Yes Tom?”

“Stay still.” He ordered

“Ok.” Tom kissed your neck, it brought chills down your spine. Then he left the room and came back with a white box in his hand. He gave you the box. “Change into this.” He demanded. You went to the bathroom and opened the box. Inside was black a lace bra and pantie, and a black ruffle skirt. The skirt was short, like really short. “TOM WHAT IS THIS” You yelled though the door. “Put everything on.” He yelled back. The authority in his voice, you couldn’t believe you were about to do this. You changed into the clothes he gave you. You were about to close the box when you saw a choker. It had a small diamond on the front. It was cute. “ARE YOU DONE?” Tom asked through the door “yah hold on” you replied. You walked out the door and the look on Tom’s face was priceless. You were satisfied with his reaction, and happy that you had been working out these past few months. You look boom af.

“like what you see baby?” You asked him smugly. “come her” he said. You went beside him. “you are amazing” You giggled, “tha-” Before you had the chance to complete your reply. You were against the wall with Tom’s lips on yours. It took you a moment to compose myself, but once you did you wrapped your arms around his neck. He broke the kiss.

“You said sometimes you wish I would slam you against the wall and kiss you.” He said smugly “huh?” You felt dizzy. “yah” “I always wanna do that.” He said, seriously “oh yah? Why didn’t you?” You asked, with a smart ass tone. “I didn’t know you were ok with it.” Then Tom’s lips were on yours again. You and Tom had kissed before, hell you’ve fucked before, but he’s never kissed you like this. There was never this much passion. He began kissing your neck around the choker, slightly sucking. “T-Tom n-no ma-m-arks” You managed to stutter out. He stopped. “On the bed. Now.” He demanded, you followed. “don’t move” he ordered, then left the room again. Your heart was going to pound out of your chest. He came back, carrying another box. He slid the box under the bed. “Baby?” “Yes, Hon” you replied “You are gonna do everything I say. Right?” “Yes” “Good” He crawled over you. “cause if you don’t I’ll do whatever I want” He said playfully “Yes” “But, baby. You are ok with this right. If you don’t wanna its ok.” He said, softly. You could tell how genuine he was being. “No. I want this” you insisted “are you sure?” “Yes” “I don’t wanna force you.” “Hon. I want to”  “ok” “but” “yes?” “remember no telling” “Ok. baby” he rolled his eyes. “what do you want me to do?” You asked “stay still” “what” “Do not move.” He said sternly “seriously?” You whined “yes” “ok”  “Remember baby, if you move that means you disobeyed me. Then I can do whatever I want”  “Ok honey”

“Its sir for now” “what?” “Call me Sir” “Yes. Sir” “Who do you belong to?” “You.” “You. What?” “You. Sir” “That’s right sugar” Tom kissed you. “remember no moving sugar. Do you understand?” “Yes. Sir” “Good” Tom started softly kissing your lips. Then he went down to you neck, then to your shoulder. You did your best not to move, but he was making it difficult. After you shoulder he started kissing your cleavage. Then suddenly he put one hand under your skirt. He lightly rubbed your covered core, this was enough to make you slightly flinch. “No moving” he reminded. Then he began kissing you bare stomach. Again you were glad you had been working out these past few months. “You have abs” He stated. “It’s not really abs” you replied. He looked up at me “then what is it?” “its just the 11s”  You stated. It really was just the three lines tho. “Whatever.” He rolled his eyes, then he continued to kiss you. Once he was at your core he slowly glided a finger across it, sending a tingling sensation though your whole body. “you are so wet.” He said. Then he lifted the skirt and began kissing the inside of both your thighs, teasing you. Then he put a hand into your bra and grabbed your boob and the other hand resting on your core. He kissed your lips again. Tom paused to take off his shirt. You couldn’t help but look in awe of toned he was. ‘He said I had abs, what about him? His six-pack looked as if it was sculpted by the Ancient Greeks.’ You thought. Tom liked wearing sweaters and honestly they hid how toned he was. “So. Baby. Like what you see?” He teased. You could only nod. Tom went back to kissing you. He brought a hand behind your back and unclipped your bra. Then he pulled it off. The second after your chest was bare he began kissing down your cleavage. Then he started playing with your nipples, again teasing you. He then licked your nipple, which followed with his teeth pulling them. You couldn’t help but grab onto his hair. “I said no moving.” Tom stopped and said sternly.

“Baby I’m sorry I couldn’t.” You replied

“and to call me sir” “Sorry. Sir” You apologised “No its too late now. I can do whatever I want.” He said. He had a wicked grin on his face. “and I know exactly what I wanna do.” Tom got the box from under the bed and opened it. He pulled out a pair of handcuffs. Wait, those were your handcuffs. “wanna explain to me why you have handcuff baby?” “Where did you find those” You questioned him “In your bathroom. When I was looking for your nail clippers" “shit”

“I found some interesting stuff instead.” He said smugly “oh shit”

“like this” he pulled out the vibrator Victoria gave you. “Tom I swear Vic gave me that. I’ve never used it” “Really? Oh well there is a first for everything” “wait what? No Tom come on. Please” You backed away a little bit. “I can do whatever I want. You agreed” “shit shit shit”

“put ur hands up” “Tom please” you begged. “Fine ill do it myself” Tom grabbed your arms and cuffed your hands behind your back

“Tom. Sweetie. Baby. I’m begging you please don’t.” “wait here baby I’m just gonna restart the timer.” “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.” “well thats what we are gonna do” “TOM!”

“I said call me sir. Now on your knees. Maybe if you behave I’ll go easy on you.” “yes sir” you kneeled “good girl” Tom started unbuckling his belt. This was really happening. He pulled off his jeans. “I think I’m gonna use this” he said holding the vibrator. Then without warning he pulled off your panties to reveal your soaked core and slid it in. Then he turned on his phone. “So I did some research on… the thing. And apparently it works though an app on the phone. Wanna see?” “No. Its ok sir. I think I get the idea” you pleaded “No. Baby I think we should try it out.” “Sir. Please.” You tried to beg, but Tom was gonna do this. You suddenly felt the vibrations. It felt so good. “sh-shit”. You felt your body trembling. Then it stopped “Hows it feel baby” “Sir. I can’t handle it please. I’ll do anything.” “oh you will do everything. Everything I say.” “yes sir” “good” he adjusted himself so you were facing his bulge. Then he took off his boxers to reveal his hard on. “i think you know what to do baby.” “yes sir” You were really gonna do this. You hoped what you learned from reading smut was enough. You started by licking from the bottom to the top of his shaft. “shit” he mumbled and threw his head back. You continued by licking his tip, which was already shiny because of the pre-cum. You put it in you mouth and you felt Tom’s hand grab your head. He pushed you to take all of him. You had NO idea how but you managed to take in all of him. This continued for a few minutes. Then Tom said “thats enough baby. I think you deserve a reward.” Tom removed the handcuffs, only to handcuff you again but this time to the headboard. “I think I should get a towel because you are dripping.” He put a towel under you and then you felt the ohmibod start up again. “oh fuck” you mumbled “baby you think you can handle the highest intensity?” “No sir” “won’t hurt to try” “No. To- Sir. Please!” It started to vibrate so hard you couldn’t control yourself. You needed to get it out of you. You couldn’t even yell out words anymore. Only stammers. You felt your climax after only six minutes of using it. “I-m go-n-na c-cu-m” you managed to let out. Then suddenly you felt the ohmibod stop. You couldn’t tell if it was relief or disappointment that washed over you. Then Tom pulled it out of you. “Oh baby. That was a warm up.” “what?” You looked at him and saw that he had put on a condom while you were… well, u get it. “im gonna fuck you now.” and Tom opened up your legs. He moved closer and you felt Tom’s tip at the entrance of your core. “ready sugar?” “yes sir.” With that Tom slid inside you. He didn’t hold back. He stretched your insides. “Oh baby you are so tight.” He was thrusting in and out of you. The room was a buzz of moans and the sound of his skin slapping against yours. After just a few moments you felt your climax. As if he was reading you mind Tom said “Don’t cum until I say so” “Tom-” Tom slapped your ass. Hard. “Its Sir” He said firmly. “Sir. I- I’m gon-na cum” you said. And again Tom slapped you. “Not until I say so. Or ill punish you.” “Sir please” you begged. You couldn’t hold it much longer. “No.” Then Tom began thrusting into me harder and faster. “please” you said weakly. “No.” He replied. You managed to control myself for a little longer, but after another minute you couldn’t hold it anymore. A wave of relief washed over you. “I said no.” he looked angry. Like really angry. “Why don’t you listen?” He questioned. “I’m sorry I couldn’t” you replied. “bad girl” he said. Then he removed himself from inside of me. “turn around.” He instructed. You lied on your stomach. He put his hands on either side of your hips and pulled your ass up. Then he repositioned himself at your entrance. Then without warning he thrusted into you. “I’m gonna fuck you so hard you won’t be able to walk tomorrow.” He claimed and you believed he was serious. “such a bad girl” he said. Tom continued ramming himself into me.

“Ugh im gonna cum.” He grunted, and pulled himself out of you. Then he quickly spun you around, so you were lying on your back. Then he removed the condom. “on you” he added. Then he released his entire load on your bare body. You were covered in cum. He lied beside you for a while. Then, he said “time to clean up baby”. He removed your handcuffs. “lets shower” he said. “Hon. I need a minute” Your core ached. Tom chucked darkly. “ok baby” then he kissed your lips. “are you ok?” He asked, with actual concern in his eyes. “yah. Just. You. Damn.” You replied. You couldn’t think of words to describe it. “Liked it?” He asked smugly “loved.” You assured “me to” he said with a soft laugh. “Tom seriously I can’t walk right now” “I’ll just carry you to the bath” “Tom I don’t think you can carry me” “are you doubting me?” He asked, with a fake offended look on his face. “Whatever Tom” “Here” he said. Then he picked you up bridal style. “TOM IF YOU DROP ME I SWEAR” You yelled.

“Don’t worry sugar” he said reassuringly. Tom brought you to the bathtub and gently put you down. Then he started the water. You were just staring at him, thinking about what just happened. “something wrong sugar?” He asked “its just” you stopped

“Yes?” “I can’t believe you made me call you sir.” Then Tom broke into a fit of laughter, causing  you to giggle. “are you serious?” He asked still laughing. “I just can’t” you said “I thought you were gonna say something about me fucking you” “please! Tom this isn’t the first time we had sex” “yah. BUT this was different.” “yah. You made me call you Sir” “Next time I’ll make you call me master” “EW EW EW. THE CRINGE” “or emperor” “What??” I yelled out “Emperor Tom. I like the sound of that” “shut up Tom” “You shut up I know you liked it” “what ever” “You did” You rolled your eyes. You kinda did, but he couldn’t know that. “nope” you replied popping the ‘p’ “yah? Then why are you currently covered in my cum?” “ok first of all fUck you. Second of all those 2 things have nothing to do with each other.” “whatever lets just clean you up.” He rolled his eyes “you should clean up too” you replied “I will, sugar. After you” The water had filled up a third of the tub. Tom got your loofa and started cleaning you up. “I can do it myself you know baby” you told him. “I know, but I wanna do it.” He replied. “ok hon”

Tom finished cleaning you up, and left to shower himself. You shampooed your hair and got out of the tub. You still felt a little shaky but other than that you were ok. You changed back into your clothes. When you returned to his bedroom it was a mess, specifically his bed. You weren’t gonna let the maid clean this, let alone see it. You grabbed the towel, which was actually ‘soaked’ and threw it in the tub. Then you removed the bed sheets and also threw them in the tub. You got a new set of sheets from the closet and put them on. You had just finished fixing the bed when Tom walked in, his hair was wet and he was shirtless in a pare of jeans. “baby” he said to call your attention.

“yes” you replied “you’re staring” he said smugly. “shut up. You stare too” “thats cause” he walked behind you and whispered “you’re so sexy” in your ear.

You turned around and eyed him from top to bottom. “not so bad you’re self” you replied. “what do you wanna do now?” He asked “First I gotta put the sheets into the washing machine” “ok” “then I think I’ll can make us something to eat. Then we eat and finish the movie.”  “good plan”

END

[breathinginthevapor]

“Maybe we should just marry each other”

Summary: Your friends are getting married, and you're still stuck being in love with the one guy you'll never get a chance with: your best friend Calum Hood.  

A/N: This is fluff so pure it could've been written by a kitten and I am usually SO bad at writing fluff. It might have something to do with it being like one year old because I thought my PC deleted it but I found it alongside many other pieces, (including the beginning of In Another Life) and I actually really like it. Please leave feedback, it would mean a great deal to me! (and can we just talk about how I wrote about Mike and Crys getting engaged a fucking year before it happened?)

Masterlist

I don’t own the picture, it’s from Calum’s instagram.

He’s sitting in the sunlight, a baby blue button-up complimenting his tan skin and his brown eyes almost golden, reflecting the rays of the sun. His face lights up in big grin and your heart swells at the sight. How can he be so beautiful?  

“You’re drooling, sweetie.” You turn around at the sound of Crystals voice, her worried eyes meeting yours. You can feel your cheeks heating up and curse yourself for being so obvious.  

“I am not!” you object when you’ve gotten yourself together. She shoots you a small apologetic smile.  

“You are. And I don’t blame you Y/N, I just don’t want to see you getting hurt.” She pulls you into a tight hug, calming you down and you telepathically thank Michael for bringing her into your life. She always looks out for you and knows what you need, and you are internally grateful for the way she has your back.  

“I know. Thank you for being here for me, Crys, but I can take care of myself. I promise.” Crystal nods and smiles again before pushing you in the direction of your best friends.  

“Of course you can sweetie. Go enjoy yourself now, you’re only young once, you know!” you laugh at her last words and wink at her before making your way to the boys. They’re all dressed a little more formal than usual but still with the little twist that lets their personalities shine through. It’s a wonder how the boys you grew up with and watched go through awkward emo phases developed such a great fashion sense.  

“Hey Y/N,” Ashton says and shoots you a big smile. The four boys are sitting in the grass with beers in their hands and comfortable facial expressions. It’s not often they have time for things like these so when they finally do, they make sure to enjoy it to the fullest.  

“Hi guys,” you great them before sitting down beside Calum in the grass. He looks at you smiling, and your pulse slows down. No matter what, Calum’s presence always makes you calm.  

“How is Crys handling the grill?” Michael asks worriedly, clearly not trusting his fiancée 100% with the cooking. You laugh, assuring him she’s doing fine. “I think I’m gonna go check up on her either way,” he says, standing up. “And Y/N, don’t think I’ve forgotten about the Just Dance duel you’ve promised me. I’m gonna win that shit.” All of you laugh and Michael smiles wryly.  

“Not a chance, Clifford.” He shows you the middle finger and winks at you before going to greet his fiancé. He embraces her and kisses her hair, and your purple-haired friend smiles so bright you’re sure she outshines the sun. The love they share is both hypnotizingly and painfully beautiful because while you’re so insanely happy for them, you’re also so jealous it hurts. They have exactly what you long for with your entire being while the odds for you getting it anytime soon seems so small it’s pathetic.  

“Isn’t it crazy? Our friends are getting fucking married. We are getting that old, guys,” Luke says, and the thought finally hits you. You’ve known these guys for the bigger part of your life and without really noticing it, you’ve gotten so old that people your age are starting their own families. And here you are, on the contrary: single, living alone in your apartment with a cat that only really likes you when you feed him, your best friends gone for most of the year and in love with a guy that’ll never reciprocate your feelings. What have you done with your life?  

You sink down a lump in your throat, praying that your eyes won’t get watery. It would be so typical you to start crying over something as stupid as this.  

“Wow, that’s just depressing. Thanks, Luke,” Ashton answers. “And I’m even older than the rest of you! I swear to fucking God, I found a grey hair this morning.” You all laugh at the exaggeration of the brown-haired boy and shake your heads in disbelief.  

“Is that a wrinkle right there?” Luke jokingly asks, causing Calum and you to laugh again.  

“Oh fuck off, Hemmings. Wanna play some ball, anyone? I’ll fall asleep if I keep sitting here talking to you idiots.” You stick your tongue out at him, and he rolls his eyes.  

“Real mature, Y/N,” Luke laughs as he stands up, joining Ashton’s proposition.  

“I’ll pass,” Calum says, and you nod, agreeing. The two others go off and starts kicking the ball around, careless expressions and big smiles on their faces. Perhaps that’s just how it is when you have a job like they have. Perhaps it’s hard to fully grow up when you don’t face the same challenges as others your age. But no matter what, you hope this immaturity will be in them forever. They wouldn’t be the real them without it, to be honest.  

You yawn, suddenly feeling a bit tired. It’s been a long, good day with your closest friends, but the stress from work has also been taking its toll on you lately, and it’s showing now. Calum looks at you and then scoots closer to you.  

“You can lay your head in my lap if you want. You might be more comfortable that way.” You smile gratefully at him before laying down in the grass with your head in his lap and his hands massaging you scalp with a gentle touch.  

“You’re not saying much today, Cal,” you point out after laying in comfortable silence for a couple of minutes. There’s nothing criticizing in your voice, there never is between you and Calum, it’s only an observation and you don’t punk him for answers but simply give him the chance to explain if he wants to.    

“Nah, I just- I’ve been thinking, ya know?” you look up at him, his eyes locking with yours. They completely capture you they like they’ve done so many times before, the brown orbs leaving you in awe.    

“About what?”  

“I dunno, I just … All this is making me afraid that I’ll end up alone while all of you are starting your own families and I’ll just be left to myself,” he says, looking away. You can sense how serious he is by the way his jaw is clenching, and all you want to do is make him feel better. You know that he’s sometimes been frustrated by the fact that all the other boys have girlfriends they can share their life with while he hasn’t, but then again he hasn’t really done anything about it even though many girls would die to be dating your rock star best friend.  

“Calum, honey, you will never be left to yourself. All of us here today will always there for you, you know that,” you assure him, gently grabbing his head and turning it towards you. “Besides, I can’t imagine I’ll find someone that’ll want to share their life with me anytime soon, or perhaps ever, either. We can be lonely together.”  

He shakes his head, not agreeing with you.  

“Of course you will. You are clever and beautiful and sweet and funny and you make the best apple pie ever. Any man would be a fool not to fall in love with you,” he argues, looking you in the eye to show you how much he means what he says.  

“You seem to be the only one who thinks so, Cal. I haven’t had a boyfriend or even gone on a third date for years,” you sigh, not telling him the real reason behind the lack of romance in your life. How could you go out with some random guy or girl when your heart is set on someone else?  

“Maybe we should just marry each other then? Buy a nice house in the suburban and get a dog and perhaps a baby one day.” You can’t decide whether he’s joking or not. His voice is trembling, although serious but there’s a smile on his lips that you don’t quite know how to interpret. But when he laughs, your heart breaks. Because everything he just described is what you so desperately want for your future and it’s all just a joke to him.  

“I- I- I think I’m gonna go help Crys and Mike,” you whisper, feeling the tears forming in your eyes and standing up as fast as possible to prevent him from seeing how affected you are. But contrary to what you had hoped for, he stands up beside you.  

“What’s wrong, Y/N? Did I overstep? I’m sorry, please don’t be mad at me,” he begs, sounding more desperate than ever. You turn your face away, trying to hide your tears but he notices, of course he does. You’ve been best friends for almost two decades, after all. He grabs your arm, gently turning you around so you face him.  

“I can’t do this, Calum, please let go of me.”  

He shakes his head. “Tell me what’s wrong and I’ll let you go.” You look him straight in the eye, one small part of you hating him for making you say what you’re gonna have to say. But the rest of you, the bigger part, just loves him with all of your heart.  

“I’m in love with you, you idiot, that’s what’s wrong,” you sigh, voice so low you pray he doesn’t hear you. But you can see it in his face that he does. “And everything you just joked with, it’s my dream, Calum. And the idea is just all fun and games to you.” His grab on you loosens, clearly so shocked by your confession that he forgets to hold on to you. But you don’t run away. After all these years, you deserve a proper rejection. Maybe then you can move on.    

"How- how long?" he asks, when he has gotten back the ability to speak.  

"Since forever, I guess." You shrug, defying the urge to look away.  

“Why didn’t you say anything?” His voice is barely a whisper, but the tension is thick as a brick and you’re sure that the others are watching you right now. They’ve all been waiting for this moment, and you know they’re all anxious to see the outcome.  

“Why should I? I’ve never had a chance, I know that. So tell me, Calum, why should I have told you? Because it sure as hell wouldn’t have made any difference!” You’ve raised your voice now, the sharp tone in your voice unfamiliar to both yourself and the Maori boy across you.    

“A difference? It would have changed everything, dammit!” he shouts, his face growing almost red with anger. “I’ve loved you my whole life and now you come and say you’ve felt the same for me? What the fuck, Y/N!”  

You are in shock. Completely. This can’t be true. You’ve spent so many years telling yourself it was hopeless while he has felt the same for you.  

“You- you’re lying,” you whisper, suddenly not having the energy to raise your voice anymore. He shakes his head, taking deep breaths as to calm himself down.  

“I’m not.” He walks closer to you, slowly like he’s afraid you’ll run away. But his eyes are back to normal and the anger is completely gone from the brown orbs. And how could you ever run away from him? He´s magnetic to you, always pulling you back if you stray too far away.  

“You promise? That you’re in love with me?”  

“I promise.”  

He puts his hand on your cheek, the rough skin from playing stringed instruments all his life caressing you. And you expect to see a different face, any sign that something’s changed but you find nothing. And then you realise it’s because he’s always been this way. Because, if he’s being honest with you (which you’re pretty sure he is, Calum has never been able to fool you with any lie) then he has always loved you. Nothing’s changed, you just haven’t realized before now that the way he carried you home when your feet hurt too much was more than just a friendly gesture, that the way his gaze lingered a little longer on you than everybody else was because he cared more for you than he dared to admit and that his “I-love-you”s wasn’t the kind you told your best friend. It was more.  

And when he kisses you, first hesitant but then, when you kiss him back with greater force, more insistently. And although it’s not fireworks, it’s some sort of release which feels much better. It’s years of emotions unwinding and freeing themselves from their cage. And when you pull away from each other, only to put your forehead against his where you can still feel his breath against your lips, you are both shaking.  

“I wish we’d been a little smarter so we could have done this every single day of our lives,” he says. You smile, silently agreeing with him and then you place your lips on his for the second time.  

“Finally!” Michael yells, and the others cheer.  

“Took you long enough, huh?” Ashton says, but neither you nor Calum listens to them. Perhaps everyone knew besides yourselves, but this is your moment, and you won’t let them interfere.  

“I'm pretty sure love you, Calum Hood.” He smiles, pulling you in a little tighter.  

“And I'm absolutely certain that I love you, Y/N. More than anything.” And when you’ve kissed one more time, you finally let go of each other and turn to your friends who are all looking at you with happy faces. Perhaps you and Calum will have your own wedding one day, but for now you just focus and Michael and Crystal’s. You’ve got all the time in the world, after all.  

[simonxriley]

Another long one dksf, im sorry!!! but i just really love your ships!!! For the ship numbers can i get Tachanka 1 - 45....?

Good thing I knew exactly which ship lol because you forgot to put Skylar. The OTP of all otps, I love them! Thank you ^^ and since I can ramble on about them it’ll be under the cut. 

1: - How do they fall asleep? Wake up? Any daily rituals?

They, for the most part fall asleep in each other’s arms and tend to wake up they same way unless they drifted a part through the night. Tachanka is the first one up by like 15 minutes because he loves to cook breakfast for them and make Skylar some tea. Skylar will wash her face right after waking up and then go downstairs to help with breakfast. Now if the kids are in the picture than Skylar is the one getting them up. 

2: - How’s their team work? Do they share well?

Their team work is very good. They make sure they communicate with what needs to be done and if something comes up, like a mission or one of them falls ill, they’ll ask if they can do what the other was supposed to do. And they’ll always split up what the kids needs evenly if they can’t do it together. As for sharing, yeah they do share well. Unless Skylar is pregnant than that chocolate is hers. 

3: - Are they open about their relationship? How do they feel about public displays of affection?

Very much so. Tachanka will never hide their relationship, even if it may seem ‘wrong’ to other people. And Skylar’s the same way. They both enjoy some PDA, and aren’t afraid to kiss or hug in public. They’re the couple that are so in love with each other it embarrasses the kids. 

4: - First impression of each other? Was it love at first sight?

Their first impression of each other was too fast paced for Skylar to even get an impression of him besides he’s cute and seems nice. She was meeting so many people at the time it was kinda hard for her to stop and talk with anyone who wasn’t Thatcher or her CTU. However Tachanka had plenty of time to watch her from a distance. He thought she was gorgeous upon first glance and loved how her eyes crinkled at the sides when she smiled and thought she was kind and seemed like a hell of a soldier. 

Was it love at first sight? More so for Tachanka. As soon as he saw her, that was it, arrow through the heart. Skylar was still very much guarded because of her past at the time of joining Rainbow, so as much as she does love him now, it wouldn’t have been love at first sight for her. 

5: - Nicknames? Pet names? Any in-jokes?

Tachanka calls Skylar - Sky, kotyonok (kitten), and sometimes lapochka (sweetie pie) and lyubov moya (my love)

Skylar call Tachanka - Alex, Moi Sladkiy (my sweetness) and sometimes kotik (pussycat)

6: - Any tasks that are always left to one person?

For the most part they both do the tasks around the house. Both will do laundry, both will cook and clean the dishes, and both will do maintenance around the home. But if it’s out of Skylar’s arm reach, than it goes to Tachanka. If Skylar is pregnant, than Tachanka will do everything, and will yell at her if she tries to help. 

7: - What annoys them the most about their partner? Would they change it if they could?

What I said up above about Tachanka taking over everything when Skylar is pregnant, that’s the one thing that annoys her about him. She gets its, he doesn’t want her stressing over stuff because she is the one carrying their children. But somethings she can still easily do, like the dishes or folding laundry. And he won’t let her do that. But she wouldn’t change it because she thinks it’s cute that he’s so overprotective of her and their unborn child(ren). 

That Skylar wouldn’t let him spoil her. This was more so in the beginning of their relationship, she didn’t like him spending rages amount of money on her or paying for her things when she could easily do so with her own money. After a while she kinda gave in and let him start spoiling her a bit more, but not with extravagant gifts. Once they were married than he could go all out. 

8: - What do they like best about their partner?

Skylar loves his compassion. To go through the horrible abuse she did by her ex, to have someone who truly loves her and cares about her well-being is a miracle. She always knows she’ll be treated with respect and honestly and that’s the most she could ask for. 

Tachanka loves Skylar’s strength. She’s been through so much in such a short amount of time. From being horribly abused to losing her whole squad. She could have turned out a lot differently, but she made sure she didn’t. She;s still kind and loving and compassionate and funny, even when the world tried to make her cold and harsh. He will always admire her strength. 

9: - Do they discuss big issues? Religion? Marriage? Children? Death?

Absolutely and they have. Marriage and children were the big ones they’ve really disgust about, because it could happen especially kids since Skylar already had one unplanned pregnancy (ended in a miscarriage) and it’s best if they both know where they stood on such things. Death has been talked about a little bit, might go into that discussion more as Jade Helm progresses and they haven’t talked about religion yet. 

10: - Who drives? Cooks? Does the handiwork? Cleans? Pays the bills? Handles the public?

For the most part Tachanka drives unless he’s on a mission. Both of them cook and do the handiwork. Their bills are on auto pay so they don’t really have to deal with that. And Tachanka handles the public, sometimes Skyar, but mostly him. 

11: - Do they celebrate holidays? Anniversaries?

Yes! They go all out for both because that’s how it was in Skylar’s home and they took that tradition to their own. Halloween and Christmas are Skylar’s favorite holidays, she’ll start decorating way before the month even started. As much as they enjoyed it being just them during the holidays, it got a lot better once the kids came along and to see their joy during the holiday season was the best thing. Anniversaries are a little more low-key, with it being just them at a restaurant. 

12: - Is there a wedding? What was the proposal like? Any kind of honeymoon?

There is a wedding (spoiler, you’ll see it at the end of Jade Helm), it’s a medium size one in London filled with family and friends, lots of laughter and dancing. Tachanka and Skylar both write their own vows and it’s a beautiful thing to see. The proposal however I cannot tell you because you’ll see it happen in Jade Helm and I’m still trying to figure out which option I should use. And their is a small honeymoon. 

13: - What do they do for fun? Do they have a favorite activity or do they like to switch things up?

They switch things up, if something new pops up that they think they’ll like they’ll do it. 

14: - Anything they both dread?

Traveling with their eight (8) kids. Trying to get all eight out the door in time to get to the airport can be a hassle. 

15: - How adventurous are they?

They’re very adventurous, more so after the kids come into the picture. They’ll do pretty much anything that looks fun. 

16: - Do they keep secrets? Lie? Cheat?

Nope, they’re very opened with each other. And they would never lie or cheat on one another because they’re just not like that and Tachanka would never seep so low as to do something like that to her after knowing about her past. 

17: - What would make them break up? Would it be permanent?

Death. Nothing could break these two up, nothing. They would go to counseling if they needed too. I would say cheating and losing the ‘spark’, but they would never cheat on each other and if the spark did go, it would be ignited again in a matter of days. Death would be the only true reason they would ‘break up’. 

18: - What are their dates like? How long do/did they date? Do they ever feel the need to take a break from each other?

Their dates are pretty simplistic, dinner at a restaurant or go see a movie. Depending on the whether they might do something summer-esque or winter-esque to change things up. They got together 12-15-17 and were married on -02-14-19 so nearly 14 months. And nope. 

19: - What do they fight about? What are their arguments like? How do they make up?

They usually fight over Skylar’s stubbornness, especially if she’s pregnant. Tachanka will want her to relax and not overdo it and she’s like ‘nah I’m fine I can to xyz’ and they’re usually easy thing too like folding laundry or doing some dishes. And she knows her body well enough to not overdo it. They never escalate to yelling though and make up pretty fast. Tachanka will just apologize with some flowers and say he was only adamant because he cares. 

20: - What does their home look like? Their room?

Their home is modern because Skylar likes the more modern homes, but it’s not too big. And it’s a mix of American and Russian culture. Their room is big enough to have a king size bed in it, a large dresser they both share (for the most part Tachanka’s clothes are in there and Skylar’s socks and underwear and stuff she can’t hang in the closet), a nightstand on each side with a lamp and a walk-in closet with an on suite. Decor wise, they have a few paintings, one done by Glaz, one of London and one of Saint Petersburg. This is a little while later, but above their bed is a family picture, Tachanka and Skylar with their eight kids. 

21: - Do they share any interests or hobbies?

They actually didn’t, but they were open to try what the other likes to do. And as their relationship progressed they found things they like to do together, like go camping. That they can thank Kapkan for. And they do go on camping trips with him from time to time, along with Glaz and Fuze, 

22: - Does their work ever interfere with the relationship?

No it doesn’t. They’re both military and both understand that sometimes you have to be apart, even if it kills you. They know they love each other and nothing will ever come between that. 

23: - How do they hug? Kiss? Tease? Flirt? Comfort?

I’m gonna go with comfort. Whenever one of them is feeling down, they take each other in their arms and just hold one another. To let the other cry or ramble about what is making them feel that way. 

24: - Any doubts about the relationship?

In the beginning there were, mainly on Skylar’s part. She didn’t really think she was capable of being loved, the abuse she endured broke her down completely and it took her a while to realize she deserved to be loved and she wasn’t this unlovable person she thought she was.  

25: - How much time do they spend together? Do they share their feelings, or hold things in?

Almost all of their time is spent together. They live together, they work together, the only time they don’t see each other is when one of them is on a mission or they’re training with their CTUs. 

26: - How do their friends feel about their relationship? Their families?

Their close friends were okay with it and were happy they found each other. Skylar’s family was completely okay with it, both of her parents’ loved that she finally found someone who treats her right. Tachanka’s sister was a little hesitant because of how much younger she was, but that soon changed the more she got to know her and figured out why her brother fell for her. The only friend that had an issue with it in the beginning was Thermite and Frost. 

27: - Do they have kids? Grow old together? Split up?

They do, they have eight (8) kids all together. Grace, twins Marianna and Konstantin, Grayson, Lubov, Apollo, and twins Lizaveta and Vera. And they do grow old together for the most part, Skylar’s 26 years younger than he is, so he unfortunately dies way before her. But they do live a happy and healthy life. 

28: - What are their vacations like?

Between completely calm and hectic. If they’re not going anywhere their vacations are pretty laid back. They’ll catch up on shows or movies they’ve missed because of work or do some stuff around the city. If the decided to take a vacation elsewhere, whether it be Bangor, Saint Petersburg or somewhere else and if kids are involved than it’s hectic as hell. But a good hectic that they wouldn’t change for the world. 

29: - How do the handle disasters or emergencies? Minor injuries? Sickness?

For the most part calmly, they’ve been in the military long enough to know if you freak out, things can happen. 

30: - Could they manage a long distance relationship?

I think they could. It would definitely be hard, but I think they could. 

31: - Do they finish each other’s sentences? Pick up any phrases or habits from each other? Know when the other is hiding something?

The don’t finish each other’s sentences or really picked up any habits besides calling each other by pet names. They do know if the other is hiding something. Skylar is awful about it, she makes it so obvious. Tachanka however is a little harder to read, it’s usually when he keeps his phone very close to him. That usually means he’s planning something and can’t have her know what it is. 

32: - Do they ever get into trouble? Is it serious, or are they just mischievous?

No they don’t. The only time they got into ‘trouble’ was when they decided to make out in the hallway on base and Thatcher turned the corner. He ‘yelled’ at them to get a room. 

33: - What kind of presents do they get each other? Do they only do it on special occasions?

Tachanka will do it any chance he gets. For the most part he gets her flowers and her favorite candies, for more important occasions he’ll go all out. Clothes, jewelry, a new game she wanted, or a book. He has a lot of choice to get her.  

Skylar will sometimes gift him a new Degytyarov for a special occasion or something she drew. Tachanka isn’t a materialistic sort of man so buying presents for him is kinda hard. But he will always cherish those handmade ones. 

34: - Do they have any pets?

They do, they have two (2) cats, one’s a Russian blue, the other is a calico and a dog (pitbull). All unnamed right now. 

35: - Do they bring out the best in each other, or the worst? Do they have a fatal flaw?

They bring out the best in each other, or at least try too. They’re always there for one another, pushing them to do good. Their fatal flaw would be their over-protectiveness.

36: - What’s their greatest strength as a couple? Their weakness?

Their greatest strength is their selflessness. They always put the other and the kids before themselves. Their weakness would be their over-protectiveness, especially with the kids. It’s not bad, like they aren’t sheltering them or anything but because Skylar was abused she’s terrified of it happening to her own daughter’s. So when they get old enough she does put them in martial arts and is very adamant on them staying in it. Though Kapkan does take the liberty of teaching them a few things too and she’s beyond grateful for that. Tachanka is very adamant on teaching his sons how to respect woman and that they don’t owe them anything. And there will be consequences if they don’t abide by those rules. 

37: - How much would they be willing to sacrifice for the other? Any lines they refuse to cross?

They would sacrifice their lives for one another. That’s how much they love each other. 

38: - What are they like in the bedroom? Any kinks/fetishes/turn-ons? Anything they won’t do?

They’re pretty vanilla, sometimes they might spice things up other than that their sex life is pretty vanilla. Skylar does love some dirty talk, especially in Russian and oral. And Tachanka likes oral and the way she teases him. Since Skylar was abused in every which way by her ex, they won’t do anything that could cause her harm, so no spanking or bdsm, stuff like that. 

39: - Who initiated the relationship? Who kissed who first?  When did they realize they were in love?

They kinda both did. Tachanka kissed Skylar first. Tachanka knew the moment he laid eyes on her and it took Skylar a little bit. After they got together and she saw how much he truly cared for her, then she accepted those feelings. 

40: - Any special memories? Do they have a special place they like to go to?

Their wedding day and the birth of their children will forever be a special memory. Yelagin Island in Saint Petersburg is one of their favorite places to go. It holds the most memories for them.  

41: - Are they party-goers? What are they like when they’re drunk? Does it happen often?

Not that much. If there’s a party on base than they’ll go, but they usually drink with friends every now and then. Skylar is one of those silly drunks and Tachanka doesn’t get too drunk, when he does he’s kinda his normal self just a bit more louder and will confess his love for Skylar to the world. No it doesn’t happen often because Skylar got embarrassed enough by him. 

42: - Do they let each other get away with things that would normally bother them?

Yeah, for the most part. Like the little things, Tachanka not putting the toilet seat down afterwards or him sending her cat memes. 

43: - Do they talk often? What about?

They talk everyday about legit everything that comes up. 

44: - Are the comfortable with each other? Anything they have to have their privacy for?

Very comfortable with each other. So much so they know almost everything about them. Showering, especially for Skylar who has to do more. She will tell Tachanka if it’s alright for him to join her. 

45: - Any special dreams or goals they have as a couple? Any heartbreaks? Regrets?

Their main goal is to have a healthy and happy marriage and be good parents to their kids. The only heartbreak Tachanka had was when they ended up running into Skylar’s abusive ex and to see the fear on her face and how she gripped him so hard she broke skin through his Gorka broke his heart. Skylar’s heartbreak was when he passed away. They both knew it was coming, she was even preparing herself for it, but when it finally happened it still broke her. The only regret they both had was that they didn’t meet sooner. 

[ill-skillsgard]

Patterns in the Ivy, Part 1 - Bill Skarsgård

Title: Patterns in the Ivy

Description: A continuation of Smoke & Money. Ghosts from the not-so-distant past come back to threaten her. She must choose between a lavish life of servitude or have everything she ever loved stripped away.

Warning: 18+ smut/swearing/mentions of drugs/kink & fetish themes

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12

I never thought that my life would turn out this way. One day I was on my own, living in a crappy apartment with nobody but myself to worry about and before I knew it, that had all changed. I had her now. My beautiful daughter. She was almost four years old already. I was constantly baffled by the amount of time it took for me to become the person I was meant to be; a mother to a child.

She was the most incredible human being that I had ever met. Every single day she got smarter and with each of those days, it became easier and easier to talk to her. When I had her, I named her Ivany. She was a sweet little baby with brown hair and big soul-searching eyes. I loved her immediately. All the world melted away. All my problems had been solved by the birth of just one perfect human being.

Nothing in my past meant a thing after she came around. I left my former self behind in favor of her. She made all the bad whispers go away. She warded off my loneliness and filled the silence. She occupied my ever-racing mind so that I could just feel calm when I hadn't ever known the definition of calmness. Ivany was my last strand of hope, the only one that couldn't break.

I did everything that I could to make our life together a good one. I found us a townhouse to live in and I found myself steady jobs to support us. Before Ivany, I never knew a life of selflessness. I didn't know what it was like to love another person unconditionally and I wouldn't have had it any other way. Our life together was fun and exciting with zero complications and that was the way I wanted it. But of course, life had its way of ripping apart everything I loved like a rabid dog, tearing at the seams with seemingly no effort at all. Just when I thought I had finally let my roots grow.

It all began on a day that I decided to take Ivany to the park after school.

I was sat on a bench with a book in hand, unable to really take in the words as I was too busy looking up every twenty seconds to check up on her. Sick of reading the same sentence over and over, I put the book in my purse. I preferred to watch her anyway. There were a few other children and parents around and more coming in. Off in the distance, I saw an older man with a young boy approaching and older kids walking in from school.

"Watch me, Mommy!" I heard Ivany call from the swing she had claimed as her own.

"I can see you, Ivy!" I called to her.

After a little while, the park started to get crowded. I stood up from the bench and circled around, following Ivany wherever she went. To say I was overprotective would be a grand understatement.

"Is that one yours?" A male voice from behind me asked.

I turned around to see who it was speaking to me. It was the older man I had spotted earlier with the young boy. I feigned a smile. "Yeah, she is."

"She's a real cutie pie, huh? That one's going to be a heart-breaker someday."

I laughed uneasily. "I'll teach her to break fingers before hearts."

"She looks like you, too."

I always had doubts whenever somebody told me that Ivany looked like me. I had dark hair, almost black in certain light and hazel eyes. My facial features were softer, my nose more rounded. The peaks of my top lip came up to sharp points whereas her's were fuller. Her eyes were pools of dreary green that when I looked into, I could see visions of my forgotten past. Ivany didn't look much like me at all.

"Thanks," I said to him anyway.

Suddenly, I heard a shriek and my attention perked immediately. The sounds of my daughter crying sent me running towards where she was standing next to the swing set.

"Ivany!" I called.

The boy that had come with the man was standing beside her, little fists clenched at his sides and my daughter was crunched into a ball, holding her head and crying.

"What's wrong honey? What happened?" I asked her, kneeling down to look at her face.

"That boy hurt me!"

I moved her hand from where she had been clutching at her hair and saw that her pink barrette was askew and it looked like some of her hair had been ripped out. The more my daughter cried the angrier I got. The boy stood there watching, stone-faced and unmoved by her tears. I stood up as the man approached.

"Hey buddy, your kid just ripped out a chunk of my daughter's hair!"

"Kevin, that is not very nice! You apologize to the little girl this instant!" The man said.

The little boy turned towards us despondently and mumbled a half-ass, "sorry."

I lifted Ivany up, shot the both of them a glare and marched off with her in my arms, purse swinging from my wrist. Once we were far enough away I brushed my hand through her hair and rocked her a little bit.

"Are you okay to walk to the car, Ivy?"

"Yes, mom."

I set her down on the ground and looked at her red, puffy, crying face with sympathy. Unclipping her barrette, I smoothed out her hair and clicked my tongue in contempt.

"It's going to be okay, honey. Let's go get something to eat and then we'll go home and watch a movie."

I took Ivany home and got her settled down, fed and set her up in the living room with a blanket and her favourite movie. My girlfriend from next door was going to make her way over so that I could get ready for work.

Every two weeks I had to work late nights at my job and I had nobody else to watch Ivany. I had become very close to my next door neighbor, a petite ray of sunshine by the name of Kiki who had come to live in the States from Korea when she was just a girl. She and I got along well and Ivany loved her so we naturally became a little unit. I would look after her cats and she would look after my kid. It worked out well for both of us.

"Mommy, do you have to work?" Ivany asked me as I fluttered around looking for my misplaced items.

"Yes sweetie but Kiki is going to be here with you and you guys can watch TV together."

"I don't want you to go."

I stopped what I was doing and gazed at my daughter sitting up on the sofa. The look in her eyes made my heart sink into my stomach. I didn't want to leave for the night either. I had no choice when it came to working late nights. It was the only thing keeping me on top of my bills and rent.

"I'm sorry Ivy. I'll be here in the morning so don't you worry, okay? Work is just something adults have to do so you just worry about kid stuff like what kind of ice cream you want to have later and I'll take care of grown-up business. Deal?"

A smile on her face, she nodded at me. As long as she was happy and smiling, working a night job didn't seem too bad. Even if it was a gig as hostess of a strip club.

It wasn't ideal and I didn't love the idea of being around handsy drunk men but I got paid well for what I did. I was like a top-shelf shooter girl that still got tips but didn't have to take my top off and swing around a pole. Truth be told, it was a little reminiscent of my old job, only I didn't have to suck any dicks and nobody was actually allowed to touch me. I just had to kiss ass and serve drinks to bachelor parties and horny businessmen. I received the odd slap on the ass or 'accidental' tit grab but that was nothing compared to what I used to endure for money.

I didn't plan on being a glorified cocktail waitress for long. Just long enough to save for a down payment on a real house in a nice neighborhood near a good school.

Kiki arrived just in time for me to leave so I didn't have a lot of time for chatting. I gave Ivany a kiss, grabbed my purse and took one last look in the mirror to make sure I looked strip-club presentable. I never wore my uniform around Ivany. I kept it in my purse to change into when I arrived at work. It wasn't the raciest of outfits but it required me to wear a garter belt and stockings underneath a tight pair of high-waisted booty shorts, something I didn't need her to see me in. The last thing I wanted was for my four-year-old daughter to see me all sexed up for the job that I left for at night.

It was 7 PM when I arrived at work, an hour we called 'the graveyard' because we only had a few regular patrons at the bar and the dancers had yet to come out. It wasn't until later that we drew the curtains and turned up the music.

The club I worked at was upscale and recently renovated with a brand new stage, beautiful lighting, and a state-of-the-art sound system. The types of shows we put on were a little more tasteful than the average strip joint. Some of the girls put on spectacular performances, embracing the entertainment side of stripping and burlesque with lavish stage props and expertly choreographed routines. I had made friends with the owner as a cleaner but was quickly offered a job bartending. After I got good at that, I was promoted to head hostess when the last girl got caught running game in the VIP area- offering sexual favors for extra money on the side.

As I was preparing the bar for what was promising to be a very busy Friday night, my boss, the club owner, approached me with outstretched arms and a smile.

"My favourite Miss J. I have a special super-duper opportunity for you tonight madam and you are the ONLY lady on this planet for the job!"

"Oh my God, please don't ask me to clean the bathrooms again, I thought that's what the cleaning girl got hired for."

"Oh no, no, no," he clicked his tongue at me. "Somebody has requested your service in the VIP for tonight."

"What? Somebody specifically asked for me?"

"That's right," he sang. "And I know you're going to work that sweet, sweet magic and make Louie and yourself a lot of money."

"Is it a bachelor party?" I sighed.

Large groups of drunk men were not my favourite patrons to serve because at least one of them always mistook the waitresses for strippers and got warned or thrown out by security. It got old trying to explain the no-touching policy to someone who had chugged their weight in beer in the name of love.

"It's not a big party but they did rent the entire VIP lounge. Big money. Big, big money." Louie wagged his eyebrows at me.

"Oh no... Do I have to suck a cock or something? Is that what you're getting at?"

Louie laughed and guided me by the shoulders away from the bar area and towards the back room for a little more privacy.

"You don't have to do anything weird. I already explained that you are not one of the performers. They simply requested your services and yours alone..."

"I feel like there's something you're not telling me, Louie. What is it?"

Louie held his hands up in mock-prayer. "You know I would never ask but this is a very rich customer and if a blowjob means you and I can afford steak for dinner every night for the next couple of months... Would you be totally opposed?"

"Ew, Louie!" I hit him weakly. "You know I don't eat that shit."

"Eat the steak for me, honey! For us! I mean, I have my own price and I know you do too. Everybody does! Just... Give him the best damn service you can possibly provide, you hear? Don't do anything you're not comfortable with. Maybe take a shot or two. Who knows!"

I continued to whack him playfully, the saucy fuck. "I will serve the shit out of our prestigious guest but I am NOT sucking any cocks. I am above that."

"I'm putting Serge on the VIP with you so if you get uncomfortable you'll have him, 'kay? Now be good and smile. Stick your boobs out a bit more. You're starting at nine up there after its cleaned from top to fucking bottom."

"Wait!" I caught Louie before he flitted off to be meticulous somewhere else. "Just how much money does this guy have?"

Louie's eyes widened. "Honey, you don't want to know. He paid in cash. I would have shut down this entire place for the amount he was willing to splash. Let's just say I didn't bat an eye and neither should you."

I was extremely curious to know what kind of person needed an entire floor to themselves. Maybe it was a celebrity or a professional athlete. I had heard of the place shutting down for famous football players or millionaire actors before. I hoped it was somebody that I knew.

The club was alive with music by nine o'clock and I was getting ready to enter the biggest VIP room we had with a bottle of champagne that cost more than my monthly car payments and two glass flutes. Serge, the head of security, stood between the door and the top of the staircase to make sure nobody came up and there was another huge guy posted right outside the door that I had never seen before. I leaned over to Serge and whispered, "is he one of ours?"

"Nah. Client's guard I guess. Some important guy in there."

"Just a guy?" I asked, my intrigue growing.

I wondered what the second glass was for then if there was only one person in the room.

"One guy, one guard. You let me know if you have any trouble."

"Oh, Serge." I swooned at the hulking head of security. "I feel so safe when you're around."

That safety soon faded as I was allowed into the room and saw who our high-profile customer was. I nearly choked on my own tongue. I felt my toes go numb in my heels and my hands started to shake.

"Hello, Miss J."

I suddenly felt like my stomach was about to erupt. Nausea filled me to the brim and I had to close my eyes to try to stay balanced. Once I was convinced I wouldn't fall over, I opened my eyes and saw a man sitting at the table that I never expected to see again in my life.

"Bill? What the fuck are you doing here?"

"That's how you're going to greet your patron? I was told you were the best service in town."

If I wasn't so afraid to move I would have dropped the tray I was holding along with the glasses and the bottle of champagne.

"What is going on? How did you... How did you find me?" I asked, looking behind me at the closed door, wondering if I should make a run for it.

Bill leaned back in his seat, stretching out his long legs so he could cross one over the other. I gulped as I took him in, designer shoes to his tailored suit and his fucking face. He looked so much more mature than I remembered him. He had a few more lines around his eyes and his cherub-like features had sharpened up a bit more. He still had that same painful glower, the one I could feel making my skin burn from across a room. Five years ago I had been so terrified of him and now was even worse. This older version of him looked even more threatening than when we had first met.

"Bring me a drink, please." He ignored my question.

"How...? How did you find me?"

Bill only stared at me with those huge, unforgiving eyes. He beckoned me forth with his hand and I hesitated, rooted to the floor in my heels. I only approached once his impatience became noticeable on his face.

Each step I took towards him made my insides twist more tightly. I set down the tray and placed a glass in front of him, trying to ignore the way his eyes followed like rolling marbles in a stone statue. I was now too aware of the cleavage that my top showed and the shortness of my bottoms. I started to sweat from my forehead and armpits.

"And one for you too." He said after accepting the glass stem between his thumb and index finger.

"No thanks."

"J... Pour a glass for yourself and sit down."

"I would really rather not."

"Hm." He mused, setting the glass down on the table after drinking down over half of its contents. "I don't think the owner of this establishment would be happy to hear you're refusing me service."

"I served you. Are we done here?"

"Far from it. Sit. Please. Don't make me ask you again. I just want to discuss something with you."

I sighed dramatically and plopped down on the chair furthest from him. I still couldn't believe that he was there, staring at me and demanding my audience. I wanted to leave and tell Louie too bad, that I was refusing to serve him as he was a danger to me but at the same time I couldn't believe I was in the same room as him again. It felt like the worst case of deja vu I had ever had. A ghost from my past had materialized out of nowhere to terrorize me and there was hardly a thing I could about it.

"What would you like to discuss so badly that you had to rent an entire fucking floor to lure me into?"

Bill smirked. "I'd like to discuss our daughter."

My breath stopped and I felt my face go white. I couldn't speak for a moment.

"I... I beg your fucking pardon?"

"You heard me, J." He said as he took another sip of champagne.

"No, no... I must have heard you wrong because you said something that makes absolutely no sense at all."

"Drop the act already. I know she's mine. I know you know she's mine."

I wanted to wind back and hit him but I was afraid he might call in his bodyguard and then Serge would come in too and the whole room would just explode. I'd probably lose my job and that was something I couldn't risk. If it were me from before I ever met Bill, I would have hit him. I couldn't now but fuck did I want to. I wanted to slap that smug look off his face and I think he could tell I was contemplating it too.

"How. Fucking. DARE you presume MY daughter belongs to anyone besides ME! She is not yours! You have no fucking idea what you're talking about!"

"I know that Ivany is mine."

I turned away from him to try to compose myself. I knew I was about to lose my temper in a very bad way.

"How fucking long have you been following us for?"

"Long enough. You certainly didn't try very hard to cover your tracks after a while."

"I have no tracks to cover! I'm living my own fucking life! I shouldn't have to be looking over my shoulder for your spies! This is harassment! I'll take you to court for stalking me."

"And I'll take you to court for custody of our child." He said frankly.

"Ivany is NOT yours!"

"From what I've seen, she looks just like me and the timeline certainly seems to coincide with me having fathered that child. Deny it all you want but I know that she's my daughter and I've known for a long time."

"Then why now? Huh? If you think she's yours, which she is not, why did you wait so long to snake out of the fucking shadows you sick, arrogant prick?"

"I needed to be one hundred percent certain. Who knows who could have impregnated you at the time. You certainly knew how to make your rounds back then. I'm so glad to see you have upgraded to this dignified position."

I stood up to leave but not before hissing, "I'd fucking spit at you but I know that'd get you hard so... Fuck you! Goodbye. Don't follow me or I'll call the police. You're not the only one with bodyguards now."

Before I crossed the room to the door Bill cleared his throat. "If you leave this room I will have your job and I'll make sure the court knows about your profession when they ask me why you're unfit to have custody of our child. So I suggest you sit down."

Tears welled up in my eyes instantly. I clutched at my heart, unable to process the situation before me. Fuck. This was what I was always afraid of happening; the day my past reared its hideous head to condemn me for my poor choices.

"I don't do that anymore and I haven't since I left. Fuck you. Honestly... Fuck you. I have tried so fucking hard to recover from the wreckage and here you are after all these years trying to tell me what's what. Who the fuck do you think you are, Bill?"

"There are things we need to discuss so if you please, come back to the table and sit down with me." He ignored my lamentations again.

Defeated, I went back to sit down across from him. I crossed my arms over my chest and sat there scowling at him, hating him, wishing he would drop dead, wanting to bash his pretty face into the table or something.

"Thank you," he started. "Please, have a drink with me."

Rolling my eyes, I poured myself a small glass of champagne and sipped it meekly as I waited for him to say what he wanted to say to me. I watched when he pulled a pack of cigarettes and a chrome-plated lighter from his jacket pocket. He lit one and put his lighter away. I scowled at him even harder.

"I want you to come back with me. You and Ivany. I want you both to come back to the West Coast with me."

"No," I stated simply.

"She will have everything a child could ever need. The best schools, the best care available. She will have rooms to herself. She can take music lessons, dancing lessons... Whatever. Anything she wants she will have."

"We already have everything we need. I got her into a good school."

"A public school is not where a Skarsgård should be attending."

"Well, I'm sorry but you don't have any say when it comes to MY daughter. We are staying here. We have everything we need right here." I explained, drinking down the rest of the champagne before pouring myself another much-needed glass.

"So you think this little job of yours as a cocktail waitress is going to get you further than you are right now?" Bill asked.

I pressed my teeth together hard and balled my fists, doing everything I could not to lash out and flip the table. He had this miraculous way of crushing someone beneath the sole of his designer shoe without even blinking.

"This job pays me well as I'm sure you have probably fucking noticed seeing as you flushed a shit-load of money down the toilet just to be sitting here. You think I don't make good enough money? Is that what you're really worried about? Because you didn't seem to care that much the night you e-mailed a hooker to come to do your laundry."

I tried to bring him down the way he had shot me down but Bill seemed undaunted by my venomous words. He simply sipped away at his champagne and puffed his cigarette, rarely taking his eyes off of me.

"Well look at you now, serving drinks instead of pussy. You certainly have come a long way." He pointed out, tapping the ash from his cigarette onto the serving tray.

"Bill..." I said, exhausted already by the exchange. "Why the fuck do you want us to come back with you? What purpose does it really serve you?"

He crushed out the cigarette and leaned forward as if he were going to tell me a secret. I watched him bite down on his bottom lip, taking his eyes off of me for just a moment before he relaxed back into his seat.

"I just want what's mine," He told me. "Don't you miss being mine?"

I shuddered almost violently. That nauseous feeling returned to my stomach and I felt a new wave of sweat break over my skin. A lump so hard and ruthless formed in my throat that I literally choked on my words when I tried to speak.

"This isn't fair. You can't just come out of nowhere and uproot me because you want to."

"I want you and our daughter to come live with me. Why is that wrong? I've spent so much time looking for you."

I shook my head, incapable of processing all that was happening. I couldn't believe I was sitting across a table from Bill Skarsgård, the man who had caused me to flee my past life. The turning point of myself as a person. The reason why I had dropped everything and ran.

Those big, nebulous eyes raked over me and set my heart to hammering. I could not believe I was staring at his face again. I could not believe the way he licked his lips and kept his gaze on me. I could not believe how stunning he looked in his designer suit with his longer hair and his thinner face. His cheekbones were sharp enough to light a match off of. He looked tired but refined. Five years had most definitely turned the rich boy into a wealthy man.

And I just felt the same. Looking at him, I felt exactly the same as I did when we had first met; nervous and put-off yet unable to tear my eyes from him.

"I suppose I really have no choice in this matter. If I refuse you, you'll just take me down in court anyway." I sighed.

"Worse. I will get joint custody of our daughter and I'll take her with me wherever I go. Hawaii, Mexico, Sweden... She will see the world and she will know a life full of opportunity. She will have all the things a little girl could possibly want. Then she will go home to you and she will see her Mother struggling to pay bills, disappearing at night to do God knows what. She will look at her things and she will pine for her horses, her new toys, her art studio, her beautiful bedroom. She won't want to stay with you after seeing what her Father can give to her."

Fat, hot tears rolled down my cheeks. I shook like a leaf in a storm and felt like one too. Tiny, insignificant and helpless. Bill was a monster no matter how beautiful he was. The inside of him was black as tar.

"The choice is up to you. Come home with me and live in happiness or refuse me and watch what happens. I'll give you a little while to think about it. Just know that I will not be far."

I looked up at him, mascara most certainly running down my cheeks, eyes blazing with hatred.

"Try to run and I will rain Hellfire down upon you," Bill warned.

Everything I wanted to say was flying around my head like birds rattled in a cage. There were so many things I wanted to spit at him but nothing would come out. He had me mercilessly beaten without ever having laid a finger on me.

"You can go now. Take some time to think about it all. I'll make sure to tell your boss of how professional you were with me." Bill said, changing the tone of his voice. "I'll see you very soon, J."

Without a word I stood up and left, closing the door behind me and shielding my face from Serge as I walked by but he caught me anyway.

"J, is everything alright?" Serge asked.

"Yes."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Serge. It's all good. Trust me. I'm fine. I have to go."

I grabbed my purse from the back and left the club without telling anybody. I got in my car and sped off to home. Kiki had fallen asleep on the couch but I didn't bother to wake her. I ascended the stairs and opened Ivany's bedroom door. More tears fell from my eyes as I climbed into bed next to her and pulled her body as close to me as possible. I pressed kisses into her hair, waking her slightly.

"Mommy?" Her little voice cracked.

"Sh, baby. It's okay. Go back to sleep."

[jayascorner]

you can’t take my place

tyler joseph x reader

(the title isn’t a joke lol)

•

•

•

piper thompson. the basketball legend. well, at least up to the third quarter of the year.

she had been known school wide for the best basketball player on the varsity team, for a girl. she’s even better than some of the guys. the spotlight was always on her. and sometimes....people were jealous. whenever she got the ball everyone would cheer for her, knowing her name.

this was all until tyler joseph came along. then the saltiness came upon piper. ever since he came, she’s hated tyler’s guts. not just because he’s a basketball player, but also because he took her place being wickedly talented at it. that just made her so infuriated. she didn’t even bother to talk to him about it or even become basketball buddies with him. they could have been, but she judged the book by its cover.

and oh was she wrong about him

“hey piper! you playin’ basketball tonight?” a guy asks. piper is currently at her locker, finally closing it for the day.

“wow! somebody remembers i play basketball.” she scoffs.

“so...are you?” he asks once more.

“yeah. how’d you know?”

he gives her a look like she was stupid or something. “uhh because you’re wearing a jersey.”

she looks down at her feet. “oh. that.”

you see what i mean? it’s like she doesn’t exist in the world of basketball anymore. all because of that dumb tyler guy.

“yo tyler! good luck at the game! OH RIGHT!! YOU DON’T NEED LUCK!” another guy shouts from across the hall, as tyler just smirks triumphantly.

piper hears that from her locker and totally just gapes at him. he glances at her, but thinks nothing of it and walks away.

it’s kinda rare for both varsity girls and boys to play on the same day. that usually doesn’t happen.

but you know what that means? she can watch him and see if he really is that good. and you never know, he might see her.

but anyways, this is a total nightmare for piper.

her spotlight.

going to another guy.

not.

cool.

>:(

but maybe....

she can confront him!!!

...

...nah.

“hey mom!” she calls out as she comes in her house. it’s common for her to walk home, rather than taking the bus or driving. she is an athlete, after all, and it’s best for her to do the most beneficial things for her body.

she comes in the kitchen to see her mom making dinner. “hi honey. how was school today?”

piper sighs. “just as usual.” she says while putting her backpack down. “i just wish that stupid guy would leave the school.” she mutters

her mom looks up in shock. “WHO’S STUPID?”

“oh just this dude named tyler. he’s new to the school, but totally just took my spot. like nobody pays attention to me anymore. it’s like i don’t exist.” she complains, leaning against the counter.

“okay now we don’t call people stupid. and how did he take your spot?”

“apparently he’s really good at basketball. once everybody saw his talent, they left me back in the dust. i feel like they all forgot i even play basketball.”

“aww i’m sorry sweetie. sometimes life can be hard. just try to tough it out. or maybe you can talk to him. you never know, y’all could become friends.”

piper scoffs. “i doubt it. he’s playing tonight anyways.”

“then talk to him! i’m sure you have a lot in common!” she claps her hands once.

“but mommmmm. i don’t want to.” she whines.

“what? is he good looking or something?”

piper stops to think about that. she never pays attention to his looks. but she could say, he’s definitely not bad looking.

“i mean, kind of. i don’t know. but i’m not very fond of him so don’t get any ideas.” she walks over to the table to do homework at.

“how do you not like him? you haven’t even met him yet.”

she just frowns in response.

“oh. you’re salty.”

piper nods in response.

her mom sighs. “you know, you don’t need to be mad at him for any reason. he didn’t do anything. the best way to change your mind is to actually get to know him. anyways, dinners ready. if you want some.”

“i probably shouldn’t. i have a game in 30 minutes, i’ll eat after.” she says.

“alright.” her mom says.

after a few minutes, she is ready to go. but she still has some time to do homework, so that happens. and of course, she doesn’t finish all of it.

“you really need to wear those slides?” her mom asks.

piper looks down at her new f/c slides and frowns innocently. “yes. they keep my basketball shoes from getting dirty. you know we can’t walk on anything other than a court with those.”

“you could just bring another pair of shoes.”

“but with slides it’s easier because you can just slip them on. why are you so against me wearing these?”

“i’m not against them. i just don’t like them.” she says while putting her own shoes on.

“well i like them. so i’m gonna wear them.” piper smiles joyously. her mom mutters a ‘whatever’ and they leave.

~time skip~brought to you by jish and ty kissing each other’s shoulders (ik ik you could’ve read that wrong)

it’s far into the varsity girls game, aka piper’s game. she notices tyler on one of the top benches of the bleachers, but sadly tyler doesn’t notice her.

wait a sec...SADLY??

...what just happened?

there comes a time where they get a foul and piper has to shoot a free throw. of course she’s gonna make at least one of them. she always does. mostly she makes both. everyone is murmuring her name since they can’t distract the player. at least they remembers she’s a good player.

and of course ya gotta hear those dumb cheerleaders chanting. “hey you! at the free throw line. miss it, miss it!” AS LOUD AS THEY FREAKING CAN!

it’s totally rude to say that but i mean, it’s the other school.

and all piper can hear was her own voice in her head telling her how to shoot the ball. because for some reason, she would always think of the steps to shoot the perfect basket. it’s like those cliché moments in movies if you know what i’m saying.

of course she makes the first one, to her luck, getting her team another point.

by the time she shoots the second one, everybody cheers in excitement. nobody is surprised though. piper looks over to where tyler is sitting. he is clapping and seems pretty impressed.

tyler’s pov

do y’all know what’s boring? waiting for a basketball game, when you don’t have much friends to talk to.

but ever since i saw that girl make more that one three pointers and make both free throws, i started paying attention. it wasn’t as boring.

i believe her name is...pipe? wait- no. why would someone name their kid pipe? maybe it’s pie... pier?? no.. none of those are actual names. maybe...piper? that’s an actual name.

if that’s her name, it’s really pretty. but dude! she is wickedly talented at basketball! i could never. i’m quaking.

sometimes i see her in school, but she doesn’t look to be very fond of me. it seems as if she doesn’t like me or something. all the people i meet like me, well i mean they like me as a person. they all think i’m the best at basketball, when honestly, i think this piper girl is better than me.

i’ve also noticed that she’s really supportive of her team. most team members are supportive, but not like her. i think that’s really nice.

okay now i just wanna talk to her.

maybe she’ll stay for my game.

...eh probably not.

but just maybe!

oh yeah that’s right....

i’m singing the national anthem....

yay...

i really don’t know if people actually think i’m a good singer. i just came to this school like 2 weeks ago, and a lot has happened since then. first, they just let me on the basketball team for some reason. and let me remind you, that was way after tryouts were held.

and then, they just ask me to sing the national anthem. i sang like ONCE, and they were like ‘dudeee! you gotta sing for everyone. forget the instrumental track, we want you!’

seriously, i don’t get how everyone loves me all the sudden. oh except pipe. oh- i mean piper. man, i’m really bad with names. i’m still not entirely sure if that’s her actual name. anyways, the only time i saw her acknowledge me was like today, and she seemed completely offended by me. what did i do wrong, you ask? i don’t know what the heck i did wrong. i haven’t even spoken to her. i want to though. she looks pretty sick.

“tyler! come on!” the new coach (which happens to be my dad) yells. i notice that the girls’ game is almost over. my team is warming up, and i’m still on the benches! what is wrong with me...

i run over to my teammates and start warming up with them.

“bro what were you doing?”

i shrug. “just watching the game.”

“dude why? the girls are wimps!” one of them chimes in.

“no, not if one of them is a frikin’ beast at the sport. besides, they have one of the best coaches. i mean, besides my dad.” i say

“true...”

“yeah.” i said.

“but she’s not as good as you.”

i shake my head. “have you seen how many three pointers she’s made today?”

they all laugh. “yeah right man! girls don’t make three pointers!”

“gosh y’all are so sexist! she made at least 5. and that’s really good for a girl.” i say, starting to grow a bit annoyed at my mostly sexist teammates.

“oh whatever.” one says, while all of them scoff.

“tyler you’re up! go!” my dad said, as i realized that our game was just about to start. and yes, i’m singing the national anthem. not that i’m scared of singing in front of people, i’m okay with it, but i’m not the best with attention per say.

as i make it to my designated spot where the microphone is, i meet up with another dude that’s singing with me. i know he has a much deeper voice than me, so he’ll sing the low harmony. wait a sec...i already know this, we rehearsed it already.

i scan the crowd in hopes to see if piper might still be here, and to my surprise, she is in fact, still here. she’s on the very right of the bleachers, in the middle section.

it’s like she’s standing out to me, i don’t know how.

i have a higher vocal range than the average man. it just comes naturally. when the time comes, i open my mouth and the words start flowing out of my mouth to the music.

piper’s POV

we end up winning our game (hehe thanks to me). i asked my mom if i can stay for the boys game. don’t ask why. she said yes, so here i am waiting on the bleachers.

tyler joseph runs up to the mic with another dude that’s taller than him. “now will you all rise as we sing the national anthem.” the announcer says. everybody stands up, including me, and the boys start singing.

now i didn’t know that tyler could be a basketball champ, and a singer. because dang, he has a voice. this really reminds me of high school musical. he is a literal troy bolton!

and maybe you can be gabriella...

what? no! for one, i can’t sing, and two, gabriella didn’t play basketball in the movies.

ugh fine. worth a shot though.

yeah, a bad shot.

now let’s see if this guy is any good.

time skip :D

okay so yes, i can see what everybody is talking about. this dude it good as heck. man, you should have seen how much three pointer shots he got. there were a lot. seriously i need to talk to him, my mind changed. this guy sparks my interest, if you know what i mean.

right as i’m leaving the brown haired boy comes to me.

“um...can i help you?” i ask.

“are you piper?” he asks.

oh wow, how does he already know about me? do people still know who i am? did i not get kicked out of the spotlight?

“yes, and i’m assuming you’re tyler?”

“yeah, i just wanted to say good job tonight, it was pretty impressive.” he complements you.

“thanks, but i’m not nearly as good as you.” i say, and of course it’s true.

he flashes a smile at me, which is actually very charming. “thanks. but really, you should see yourself. you killed it.”

“but really, i could say the same about you.” i state, mimicking him.

“nah. anyways, it was pretty sick seeing you tonight.”

“yeah, see you later.” i say as i awkwardly walk away.

he’s nice, isn’t he?

THE END

hey guys! here i am with another post! i hope you liked it :)

and also, pls like and comment what you think!! i’d love some feedback!

[moonchildhcs]

parkjin headcanons!!

ur honestly both in awe at how ur in a relationship with each other because neither of u give urselves enough credit !!!! u r both sweethearts and visual gods

hyunjin: “wow ur so cute i cant believe ur dating me” parker: “no!! thats me @ u” god: “p l e a s e ur both cute babies and u deserve each other”

i digress

this bb is friends with some clingy ass mofos !!! like daehwi !!! ur getting the hugs u deserve and u will get no complaints from him abt ur affections either because hes just sitting their with you like o//w//o

dont believe this boys dangerous stage presence he is a softie through and through he will get you flowers and chocolates and everything you could possibly imagine !!! angel baby sweetie pie ur pumpy umpy umpkin !!!

he would absolutely love dancing with you !! he loves ur passion and drive to perform and is always willing to practice with u even when hes tired :( bb boy !! hes much nicer than chan tho lol but hes still a pretty strict teacher so expect some dramatic improvement under him

(also whenever you pull off a move properly he gives u a sweet s m o o c h so it encourages you to do even better for more opportunities to kiss ur bf)

bc hes an idol !! yall cant go out publicly for dates all the time so a typical date is yall goofing off at home, watching movies and shows on netflix, a romantic dinner if yall have the energy but generally takeout, blasting music and dancing around, etc etc he just loves being with you

but when its been a while he will absolutely take you out on cute dates!! sometimes cute elaborate picnics, sometimes a spontaneous trip around the city at night, but always without a fail fun and exciting, especially with your boyfie by ur side :^)

also initially he is SO shy with you !! like remember how shy he was around jinyoung ??? during the survival show??? multiply that by a MILLION this boy was so shy he blushed the deepest shade of red just by h*lding ur h*nd !!! he gains more confidence as the relationship progresses but pls be easy on this bb boys heart

also (wiggles eyebrows) yall can have some spicy kisses !! some intense makeout sessions !! but nothing further lol he is a SHY BOY and also very much 18 he is awkward and is not abt that life rn lol

like ur gonna be shocked at the duality because at the beginning of the relationship hes like “c-can i h*ld ur h*nd? and ur like “how did u censor that out loud” but now hes like “makeout with me” and ur like bitch WHAT but also okay lol

this boy is a solid eight inches taller than you lol if you think he wont even lightly tease you about the height difference you are wrong !! ur just chillin and hes like “hey :) hows the weather down there” and ur like “i will END you” and he blows a kiss ur direction and ur like “okay maybe not ur kinda cute. but comment on my height again and u will receive no mercy”

DUDE he is at the perfect height where he can rest his chin on ur head!! and give u forehead kisses !!!! he just loves u so much man !!! sure kissing u on the lips is great and all but kissing ur forehead?? CUTE

also so many of his shirts and hoodies disappeared and he was like ?????????? what !!! and then he saw you just DROWNING in his hoodie because he too loves oversized stuff and hes like. im fine with this (he takes photos and sets them as his home and lockscreen when they arent promoting) (this boy is GOOD at not getting caught)

dude when the Boiis found out u two were dating they LOST IT !!! interrogated then welcomed !! hyunjin was exposed by them a lot lol they exposed ALL the juicy stories and u were like :^)

dont worry tho ya girl laramie exposed u in kind so then hyunjin was like :^)

truly a bonding experience for the both of you

yall are both visual gods so sometimes u both will just. try on even the most ridiculous outfits and have a fashion show in the living room of ur technically shared apartment

yall take photos on ur phones in a super exaggerated manner in order to mimic the paparazzi and photographers and shout encouragements like “YES KING GET THAT BREAD” and “OH YES WORK IT”

willing to nerd out with you at a l l times !!!

oh my god him sleeping over when he can when hes not promoting and u waking up to him spooning u and just. big cuddle hours: activated

soft kisses before jokingly going “u have morning breath” and just the resounding GROAN before he threatens to leave u cold in the bed and ur like no wait-

hes trying to be frugal with his money as he hasnt been an idol for that long but he definitely buys you gifts from time to time when hes reminded of u

“babe i got this red panda plushie for u” (insert parkers unintelligible  shrieking here)

hes not the most jealous boyfriend actually !! he trusts you a lot and is okay with you being friends with whomever u please but sometimes he sees u fangiring over his seniors or smth and hes like >:( im a good performer too love me !!!! pls !! he just wants ur love smooch his cheeks and ull be good

also to get him flustered? peck his cheeks or (gasp) his NOSE he gets so flustered bc its so innocent but so intimate at the same time so he just gets so RED and stutters and ur just like :^) ah how the turn tables

this boy is a ROMANTIC through and through hes not old fashioned but he likes doing cheesy things like opening the door for you, giving you flowers, pulling out the chair for you, etc etc

he just wants to LOOOOOOOOOOVE you !!!!!

he doesnt go for too many pet names but babe and princess are what he leans towards !!

he practices his english on u and u practice ur korean on him (hint, ur better at korean than he is at english)

but he tries so hard and hes so cute !!! his english is so cute!! appreciate this baby pl s

him: “my hands are big so i can hold the world” u: “worm?” him: (holds ur cheeks) u: (choked) “w-worm?”

u guys r so cheesy but its so cute !! he just wants whats best for you

also you guys are no strangers to having deep and highly emotional talks because ur both very empathetic and vulnerable people

youve talked about ur insecurities and so has he!!! uve also both confronted the whole “ur not dating me because of my visuals/because im an idol right” and ur like “um?? no ur a sweetheart and a dedicated boii and performer and-” and then u go on a half hour long rant about all the things u love abt him and hes just like :’) i love you

whenever hes away for one reason or another, esp stuff like tours, he leaves a bunch of his clothes that smell like him so you wont feel as lonely !!! because the sad reality is is that on tours when hes not on stage hes practicing practicing practicing so keeping in touch is kinda hard

but he does his best !! he sends letters and text messages and voice messages and everything !! and when he can he facetimes you !!

we have ALL seen the boys instagram he will take a burst of 10000000 selfies on ur phone, plague u with the “ur icloud storage is almost full” messages, and it takes u 12239632485 years to delete them all (after making sure they are safely backed up into ur google photos)

yall are SO CUTE and take so many couple photos !!! yall are that iconic couple and u generally post these on ur super exclusive finsta but sometimes u sneak in a blurry pic of him on ur main or even a censored pic of him and ur like “do u ever just have the cutest sweetest (and hottest but hush) boyf in the world to flex on the broke bitches who hate u” and hyunjin is like BABE and ur like :^) 

lowkey sometimes u get jealous of jinyoung bc this boii loves and respects him so much and ur like “What Does He Have That I Do Not” and hyunjin is like “a successful career as an idol” and ur like “define successful” and he GASPS

jokesjokes lol yall playfully argue with each other a lot but if any of u go too far its pretty obvious bc u get quieter and he just. emotionally withdraws and u can see it in his eyes and ur both like OH NO BABE i didnt mean to hurt you im sorry !! and ull have a quick convo with multiple apologies and then ur BACK TO BUSINESS

OMG DUDE HOW YALL MET WAS SO CUTE

so basically he was out with !! the boiis at this cute coffee shop that is never crowded so its safe for them to just relax without having seven masks on lol

and the u !! come in with laramie like :( dude school SUCKS and laramie like nods her head intently like yes indeed

and this boy is struck with LOVE like ur . so cute. and tiny. and cute. and ur venting so passionately about how the education system does Not Meet The Needs of students and hes like. her passion. i love it

and u havent noticed him but oh man the boiis have and they are RUTHLESS bc hes so shy but theyre like GIVE HER UR NUMBER COWARD

and after an overwhelming amount of encouragements and some mild bullying (and laramie going to the bathroom because this dumb bitch spilled a lil bit of tea on her shorts and shes LIVID) and this boy approaches u and ur now love stricken

bc hes so CUTE !!! and its clear hes a lil nervous bc hes blushing uwuwuwuwuwuwu but he said !! he really admires ur passion and he thinks ur really cute and hes sorry if this is creepy but could i get ur number and ur like yes. pls. i love you (jokesjokes u dont profess ur love immediately but DAMN were u close to)

u and hyunjin all blushie and excited and the boiis are LOSING it and laramie comes back like “hey fellas whatd i miss-”

anyways yall are THAT power couple who love each other and are super devoted!! and have an amazing time with each other and DAMN ppl say love is dead but clearly they havent met yall

@daffodwlw read this and weep tears of love, coward

[smkkbert]

Time for a story - Working mom

“That sounds like a good offer, but I think we need to discuss the parameters of the collaboration once more,” Mr. Stagg said, leaning back in his leather chair and looking at Felicity with slightly pursed lips. “Since Queen Incorporated is in charge of the project, I think it should carry the risk of failure completely.”

Felicity bit down on her tongue. She had suspected that something like this would happen. Mr. Stagg had been working in the business for almost half a century. He had built his company, Stagg Industries, from scratch when he just been out of school and now it was one of most successful companies in the sector. The long work had earned him the reputation of being a tough cookie and Felicity guessed, since he was on the scrap heat, being a woman didn’t really play into her hands either.

Oliver had asked her if she was sure she wanted to collaborate with Stagg Industries when their CEO was like that. Felicity wanted what was best for Queen Incorporated though and that meant collaborating with Stagg Industries. If she had to bite the bullet of working with a man who hadn’t arrived in the twenty first century yet, she’d do it for the sake of her employees and the science. Besides, Felicity had never actually shied away from a challenge and she wouldn’t start now.

“You know, Mr. Stagger, I am tempted to agree to your condition because I believe in this project,” Felicity said, “but unfortunately I feel like giving into this is not the best start for our cooperation. When Queen Inc. is supposed to carry the full risk, then I don’t see why Stagg Industries should be granted equal parts of the turnover in case of success. It doesn’t seem quite fair to me. Either its fifty-fifty no matter what or we have to negotiate a deal that allows Stagg Industries to carry less of the risk but also gain less of the money we make.”

“Well, since Stagg Industries brings along broad experience in this field of-“

“-I think we both know that my father-in-law was the one who started the project this is based on. Stagg Industries only took over after he died,” Felicity interrupted him. “Your company took profit from the project Queen Consolidated had to abort because of Robert Queen’s unexpected death and the time of uncertainty that followed after. While I understand that you saw a chance there and used it and there is nothing wrong with that, I think you should take into consideration that the media will probably-“

Felicity stopped when the door to her office opened. She had told Oliver that she was having an important video call and didn’t want to be disturbed. Working from home always entailed the risk of being interrupted. The kids, especially Tommy and Millie, had their trouble accepting that when mommy worked in her office here at home, it was almost like she was in her office in the company and they couldn’t just come to her all the time. Oliver had promised her to keep an extra eye on them for the afternoon to make sure they wouldn’t disturb her.

Not bothering at all that his mom was sitting on her desk with a pack of files right in front of her, Tommy crossed the room and crawled onto Felicity’s lap.

“Just a second, Mr. Stagg,” Felicity asked.

To Felicity’s surprise and relief, Mr. Stagg nodded and leaned back in his chair once more. Felicity was definitely not ashamed of being a working mom. She loved her family and she loved her job and she had always done her best to meet the needs of both. While her family was very understanding and supportive, the business world was a lot harder. She had to fight against being labeled as just a working mom which seemed to be divided into the categories heartless businesswoman whose kids were just a status symbol and incapable mommy who only worked to prove something to herself. The fact that she had taken several months off from work in the last two years because of two pregnancies didn’t make it any easier. The world just wasn’t nice to people who didn’t want to be pigeonholed.

“What’s wrong, buddy?” Felicity asked gently and kissed Tommy’s head. “I thought daddy wanted to play with you guys.”

“Addie’s crying,” Tommy replied with a sigh. “Can I stay here?”

Felicity smiled, stroking her hand over her boy’s hair. “Mommy has to work, you know?”

“How much longer?”

“I don’t know yet,” Felicity replied honestly. “When I am finished here, I promise we play something together or we go to the playground, okay? I just have to end my phone call with Mr. Stagg and-“

“Mama!”

Felicity bit her tongue, suppressing a desperate whine. Of course, the kids had to interrupt her during this very video call of all the things she had worked on here in the last few days. She would have to consider locking herself in here when there were important phone calls or similar things. She just didn’t like the thought of shutting the kids out, no matter what she was doing.

“Hi, Millie,” Felicity said happily nonetheless, refusing to show the kids that their timing was actually quite bad. “Did you climb the stairs again?”

“Yes,” she replied with a giggle.

She walked over to her mother and brother and hugged Felicity’s leg. Smiling, Felicity moved her fingers through Millie’s dark hair. She couldn’t ask the kids to just go back downstairs. Millie could climb up the stairs, but Felicity was sure she’d fell face-forward down there if she tried going down and there was no way she’d risk that.

“Tommy, can you do mommy a favor?” Felicity asked.

“Yes,” Tommy replied, nodding his head immediately.

Felicity smiled. She knew her little boy was the best for doing mommy any favors.

“Can you please go downstairs and ask daddy to come here and get Millie?” she asked.

“Okay,” Tommy responded with a sigh.

Felicity smiled and kissed her son’s cheek once more. “Thanks, buddy, and tell daddy to give all of you ice cream, okay?”

“Okay,” Tommy replied excitedly.

While he was running out of the room, Felicity grabbed Millie and pulled her onto her lap. She kissed her little girl’s cheek before she turned back around to the computer with an apologetic smile.

“I am really sorry,” she told Mr. Stagg honestly. “My husband and I thought it was a good idea if I had an office here at home, so I could work from home and spend more time with the kids. It’s a little hard for them to understand that even if I am at home, I am working.”

Mr. Stagg nodded slowly. “I see.”

Felicity pulled her bottom lip into her mouth and bit down on it firmly. She didn’t know what exactly to make of Mr. Stagg’s face. Either he didn’t really care about the interruption, or it has just caused her the deal. Admittingly, as much as Felicity would like to close this deal, if her kids were a problem for him, she could very well live without it.

After a long and awkward moment of silence, finally Oliver hurried into the room. He had his lips pressed together, an apologetic and slightly uncomfortable expression on his face.

“Sorry,” he whispered as he came closer and took Millie from Felicity’s lap. “Come on, sweetie-pie. We go downstairs and eat ice cream.”

“Mama?” Millie asked.

“Mama has to work,” Oliver told her, carrying her out of the room. “Mommy’s coming downstairs and eat ice cream later.”

With that, he closed the door behind them. Felicity released a soundless sigh. She cleared her throat, turning back to the computer. Somehow, she had to redirect the conversation to the professional subject and get back to the thought she had just been about to state when Tommy had interrupted. She had been in a good bargaining position.

“What do you think about next Wednesday to sign the contract and discuss the future of our project?” Mr. Stagg asked, pulling his Filofax closer and puckering his lips. “I am in San Francisco to watch my grandson’s baseball game at that time and could come over to Starling for an hour or two. It would be great if your lawyers could send my lawyers the contract beforehand, so they can take a look and we get it done quickly on Wednesday.”

Felicity cleared her throat, forcing herself to smile, when she said, “Mr. Stagg, I think we still need to discuss the distribution of the turnover, positive and negative, because-“

“We share equally,” Mr. Stagg interrupted her matter-of-factly. “Stagg Industries gets the same turnovers as Queen Incorporated in case of success, so it should carry equal part of the risk as you pointed out.”

Felicity opened her mouth to reply, but didn’t know what she was supposed to say. Seconds ago, she could have sworn that Mr. Stagg would maintain his ground for a couple more hours until her head would explode and she’d give in just to end this call and get back to her kids. He had seemed to be so set on his opinion.

“I don’t know what to say,” Felicity admitted honestly.

For the first time since Felicity knew Mr. Stagg, she saw him smile. He leaned forward, folding his hands on the tabletop. He almost looked like a nice, old grandpa in this moment and not the cold businessman she had gotten to know so far.

“You maintained your ground and you made good points,” Mr. Stagg told her. “I like to work with people who know what they want and stand up for it and won’t let themselves be knocked down just because they are talking with someone with a few more decades of experience.”

Felicity nodded slowly. She had never thought about it like that. Admittedly, she loved the challenging appointments more than the others too. A success she had fought for hard was a lot more reason to celebrate than a success that had dropped into her lap. She had always thought she was the only person crazy enough to choose a challenge over relaxation. Well, she and Elle Woods.

“I have to say I am surprised,” Felicity said honestly, releasing a little chuckle. “I really thought you were going to keep negotiating with me just for the sake of it and maybe because I might have appeared to be a little unorganized.”

Mr. Stagg chuckled. “Because your kids came into your office in the middle of this video call?”

“Yeah,” Felicity replied.

“They are kids. That happens. You handled it very well,” he told her. “I have seen CEOs ignoring their kids in cases like these. People in our positions do have to be a little colder than really we are or even like to be at times, but that should never happen when our kids are around.”

Felicity smiled, nodding slightly. Mr. Stagg was right. She was behaving a lot tougher when she was at work, having this non-bullshit-attitude, at least when she was focused enough to suppress the babbling part of herself. Anyway, she doubted that she could be this kind of person in front of her children.

She remembered how, while she had been recovering from the depression during the pregnancy with Tommy, Oliver had done a video call from home. He hadn’t even changed into formal pants. He had just put on a dress shirt, a jacket and a tie and sat down at the kitchen table. When Emmy had handed him her play phone, he had taken the call. He hadn’t been able to ignore her, either.

“So, we will see each other on Wednesday,” Felicity said.

“Indeed.” Mr. Stagger nodded. Felicity was already about to hang up when he cleared his throat and added, “Mrs. Queen?”

Felicity looked up. “Yes?”

“Have you ever met your father-in-law?”

“No,” Felicity replied honestly, shaking her head. “Robert died long before Oliver and I got to know each other."

“Then I hope as one of Robert’s close business partners and as an old man you allow me to say a few words to you in private,” he asked and waited until Felicity gave him a nod before he explained, “Robert would have been really proud to know his company was in the hands of someone who knows what to do with it. When we last talked during a Christmas party the year before that boat went down, he told me that Queen Consolidated has always been a second family to him, admittedly one he knew better how to deal with. He had been worried about its future given his son hadn’t seemed to be too interested in taking over. He would be relieved, happy and proud to know that you are part of both of his families now. He would have really liked you.”

Felicity smiled, weirdly touched by his words. Oliver had told her something similar a few times already. Yet, hearing it from someone who wasn’t conventionally forced to say nice things to her was kind of making it more real and it made her happy. What person didn’t want their parents-in-law to like them?

Well, Oliver certainly didn’t want her father to like him given what he had done to her. Lucky them, Noah probably didn’t like Oliver anyway. It only proved what good of a man Oliver was in comparison to her father.

Once in a while, Felicity had wondered if Moira had liked her. Since Felicity had tried to force her into telling Oliver who Thea’s father was and Moira had done her best to keep Felicity from doing so by putting emotional pressure on her, sometimes she doubted it. If Oliver and Thea could be trusted, Moira would have welcomed her in her family and at the head of the company anyway if she was still alive. She was making Oliver happy and despite everything that she had done, she had never wanted anything more than for her children to be happy.

“Thank you,” Felicity eventually replied with a thankful smile.

Mr. Stagger nodded and ended the phone call. Felicity leaned back in her chair with a deep sigh, closing her eyes for a moment. People could say what they wanted, but Felicity loved being a working mom and she loved working from home. For today, she’d call it quits and spend the rest of the day with the kids. There was ice cream waiting for her downstairs, and Felicity felt she really deserved that now.

@just-arrowolicity @promiseyoullbepatientwithme @bytemegeekette @felicity-said-just-in-case @phanseptiic @mariel-olandag @orangeisorange @aguscha333 @whentheheavenfades @aussieforgood @emmaamelia95 @smoakingskye @seaolicity @ourwritinginvein @lightwoodhook @1022bridgetp @felicityqueenforever @leagueofolicity17 @yryssss @myhauntedblacksoul @muslimsmoak @sherlock44 @sinceriouslybea @arrowsalways @olivyflavescentdeer @olicitys-castle @ofnothingcharming @boo-ritz-radley @vaelisamaza @smoakedandcharmed @alexisa1206 @mysaudadespt2 @florence-bubbles @addictiontelly @queens-of-arrows @memcjo @hysterical-for-joshifer @oswinelevenforever @olicitylovemaking @bandanab310 @mymusiclove101 @lynslogic @scarletqueen23 @olicityshipper19 @alex-wesley @arrows-4ever @unabashedlynerdypatrol @louehmysoul @ligiapimenta @chattyyana @charlie-leau @coal000 @samcrowleys @ishippolivia @julianegomesqueen @malafle @miriam1779 @charlinert @melaux @ontheolicityship @hiddenchamb3r @myshipperlife @wrightainsley @lexi9515 @ladygreenwood @multi-fandom-crazy-fangirl @morinamel @mje-thomas @kebarr @canadianheartgirl @nannett2307 @almondblossomme @paarti12 @kathrynelizabeth89 @imdfabulous @cutearrowgirl @mrt2501 @insecureneuroticcontrolfreakk @mecha1330 @arsipaci14 @mzminx @chellemanalastas @salasvia @brandis91 @cainc3 @clarkesoverwatch @morganmiguess @pr0fessi0nal-fangurl @iamisalima @nessafra @jonhdiggle @niki-is-amazing @universed-posts @hopeful-warrior @senoritaswiftie @bellemmie @green-arrows-of-karamel @iheartarrow @olicityovereverything @oliverfel4 @navyaarsha @fandoms-breathe-life @simone4mcswarek @olicity-in-the-heart @fullychippedcreation @geemarie @eternal-olicity @everything-but-normal-cat @myarroworld @tjmartinez @pleasantfanandstudent @itsmagnoliagirl @j69confessional @scentedcolorpirate @icanica74 @felollie @javinancupil @tjmartinez98 @certainmentalityface @tatianadamaceno @ryelew @wildwillowzepplin @kath4703 @missafairy @letsplaymurde-r @lipizette @positivepiper @nuttymilkshakehologram @laksagirl @ccdimples88 @turnupthemusicandscream @pumpernickle93 @cinfos @onceuponanolicity @1106angel @jaspertown @fadinglands @morganashimi83 @mochababychristy @omglovechrissie @mariejr88-blog @thetaufactor @onceuponanolicity @speakandseethetruth @bri206 @aglasgo @thats0klaroline @geemarie @pineprincess @nerdgirljen @maudjuliette

(If you want to be tagged or untagged, just let me know. :))

[fanfic-inator795]

Lego Batman Oneshot: Thanksgiving With the Rogues

Just some cute holiday Batfam + rogues stuff I wanted to write for the occasion. Enjoy! ^v^

With how good of a chef Alfred was, having a kitchen or a dining room (or even a whole house) filled with good smells was pretty common at Wayne Manor. But today, the smells were especially delicious. And the dishes themselves looked pretty good too!

“You sure you aren’t making too much, Grandpa?” Dick asked as he leaned on the counter, taking a moment to rest (Alfred insisted on doing most of the cooking, but he still let the boy help with dishes and other small tasks). From what he could see so far, their plates would have a hard time fitting in-between all the various meats and side dishes! 

But the old butler just gave him a warm smile. “Better to have too much than too little, Master Dick.”

“Yeah, what Alfred said,” Bruce agreed as he stepped into the kitchen, dropping off the glass he had been drinking from, “And remember, Babs and Jim are coming over too, so it’s not like it’s just going to be the three of us eating.”

“Heh, yeah, I know,” Dick nodded, glancing over at the billionaire. Honestly, he had gotten so used to seeing his father in either his bat suit or his house robe, it was sort of strange to see him in something fairly casual but still nice. A light blue dress shirt with a dark blue jacket and black pants. There was most likely a tie to go with it too, but Bruce would probably put it on later. As for Dick himself, he had chosen a more festive look, putting on an orange sweater with a red and yellow leaf pattern on it. (Tis the season, after all!)

Alfred hummed, taking a moment to place a pot of stuffing back on the stove top before turning back to his masters. “You know... It really is nice to have people over for a holiday meal again, isn’t it?”

“Hmph, yeah, I guess,” Bruce shrugged, though even the usually stern Dark Knight couldn’t hide the small smile on his face. Just another not-so-bad change that came with having a real family and friends, it would seem. 

“Gosh, if this is what Thanksgiving is like here, I can’t WAIT for Christmas!” Dick explained, giving a small cheer. He could already imagine all the decorations and lights and presents and-!

“Uh, well, actually I’m Jewish so, yeahhh, don’t really have a lot of experience with Christmas,” Bruce admitted, “Or, you know, any super-happy holiday stuff, really. But uh, hey! Doesn’t mean we can’t still try to do it just for you! You know, just as long as it’s not TOO cheerful and stuff. Ugh.” He could still remember the time Clark insisted on having him over for the holidays in Smallville. Waaaaay too sappy.

The boy giggled a bit. “Heh, alright, we’ll just have a Batman-style Christmas! And a Batman-style Hanukkah too, Padre, if you want!”

“Heh, yeah, sure,” Bruce nodded, “Why not?” If it made his son happy, then maybe he could take a small break from vigilante work and do some more holiday stuff, just for a little bit.   

“...Hmmm, that’s strange...”

“Huh? What’s wrong, Grandpa?” Dick asked.

Alfred made a face as he continued to search the fridge. “I could’ve sworn that I left a pie in here yesterday. It was the last thing I made before heading to bed...”

Bruce’s eyes widened, and suddenly he seemed very interested in the random kitchen utensils hanging on the wall. “Yeah well, you know what they say, Alfred. Gotham’s a mysterious place. Full of criminals too. Mysterious and crime-ridden. Yep, that’s Gotham alright. Really, I would’ve been more surprised if your pie HADN’T disappeared. So, yeah.”

“...Uh huh,” Alfred said flatly. Sure, a mysterious, crime-ridden place with a certain bat-themed hero that liked to have midnight snacks. “Oh well, I suppose store bought will have to do. At least the rest of the meal will be homemade. Oh, but the stores are sure to be a mad house...” He’d be lucky to get home within a few hours with all the traffic and last minute shoppers. 

But before he could even move to turn off his oven, Dick hopped up, waving his hand. “Ooh! I can go get it for you, Grandpa!”

 Alfred blinked. “Are you sure, Master Dick? Really, it’s no troubl-”

“Yeah, it’s fine!” the boy wonder insisted, “Besides, I want to see if I can get a closer look at some of the parade while I’m there!” (Thank goodness the Joker’s parade with the laughing gas-filled balloons and the Prince music hadn’t discouraged Gotham City from continuing to have parades.)

Alfred still didn’t quite approve, but gave a nod anyway. “Well, alright. If you’re sure...” 

“Just don’t take too long, okay kid?” Bruce added as he handed him his platinum credit card, “We wouldn’t want you to miss dinner just cause you were out getting dessert.”

“Heh, don’t worry, dad,” Dick insisted, even giving a quick and confident salute, “I’ll be back before you can say ‘holy cranberries’!” And with that, he ran off - though he didn’t head towards the front door. He had a fast and easy way to get to Downtown Gotham - much faster than any limo or bus ride - but in order to use it, first he would need a quick change of clothes...

Soon enough, Robin was soaring through the skies on his Bird-hovercycle, flying past the skyscrapers of Gotham and grinning all the way! Dipping down a bit, he flew along the Thanksgiving parade route as well, waving at the citizens below as well as ooh-ing and aww-ing at all the balloons and floats (most of which had been imported from Cloud Coocoo Land itself, making them even more creative and visually amazing) just like the rest of them. 

Eventually though, he did have to turn onto another street, one consisting of smaller, more local shops - including one of Gotham’s best bakeries. But, just as Alfred had warned, even a smaller street was still fairly busy on a holiday. 

“Good thing this bike is pretty small,” Robin mumbled as he landed, parking his cycle between two cars. Once that was done, he hopped off and started heading towards the bakery with a skip in his step.

...Of course, with a bike as unique as a Bird-Hovercycle, it didn’t take long for certain others to take notice of it... 

There was a hum as a purple suited figure stepped out of a nearby alleyway and towards the bike. “Well well, what do you know?” he grinned, giggling as he clacked his hands together, “Looks like we won’t have to go all the way to Wayne Manor after all, huh guys? Talk about a lucky break!” His ‘friends’ cackled behind him, and with a single gesture,  they were all suddenly on the move.

And the Boy Wonder had no idea... 

“You’re in luck, it looks like this is our last one!”

“Gosh, guess I was just in time, huh?”

“Guess so!” With a smile, the cashier handed Robin the boxed-up pie, and in return the young hero tried to hand her the credit card, but it was refused. “It’s on the house! It’s the least I can do for one of our cities greatest heroes!”

Robin couldn’t help but grin at that, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. “Gee, thanks so much! ...Say, you wouldn’t happen to have some string or a ribbon or something in the back, would you?” Flying a hoverbike at nearly 100 MPH was hard enough at times, but Robin wasn’t sure if he could do it while also trying to hold onto a pie. 

“Hmm, I think we may have a delivery bag in the back that you could borrow. Let me go check.”

“Thanks!” Glancing away for a moment, Robin examined the pie. Maybe it wasn’t one of Alfred’s, but it still looked pretty yummy! Creamy pumpkin, a bit of light whipped cream, perfectly cooked crust with no burnt bits in sight - it was sure to be a great way to end their meal. “...Hmm, maybe I should pick up some ice cream too...” Pie and ice cream was a good combo, right?

“Here ya go, sweetie!” a new voice suddenly said, bringing Robin’s attention back to the counter. The cashier (wasn’t her hair in a bun instead of pigtails just a moment ago?) practically shoved the tote bag in his face, holding it by the opening of the bag itself rather than its straps. “This should work just fine, don’t ya think?” 

“Oh! Uh, yeah, s-sure! Um, thanks again, miss.”

“Oh, any time~” The cashier gave a grin (she seemed a lot more smiley now too, now that Robin thought about it), and Robin took the bag.

“Alright, well... Happy Thanksgiv-” He opened the tote bag, and- *POOF!* A cloud of gas emerged from it, completely covering his face. Robin coughed, trying to close the bag, but it was too late. He could feel himself getting sleepier and sleepier, soon falling to his knees. “N-No...” And as his senses began to fade, he could hear not one but TWO familiar laughs behind him...

“Haha! Sweet dreams, Bird Boy! Hehehe~”

()()()()()()()()

“...No no, that’s wrong...! ...I told you, the vegetables go over there...” “Oh what does it matter...?” “Okay, who’s the wise guy switched the labels on the salt and pepper shakers?!” “Hehe, guilty!” “Ugh, condiments shouldn’t be messed with, Joker!” “Oh lighten up, CK!”

“Ugh... W-wha...?”

“Hey, guys! Look, he’s wakin’ up!” he heard the cashier - no, NOT the cashier, Harley Quinn - say. He could start to hear other rogues too, murmuring in excitement.

“Well it’s about time! I was starting to think our lunch would end up going cold!” Slowly, the Boy Wonder started to open his eyes - and all he could see was a white, grinning face with red lips and bright green hair.

“Hey there, kiddo!” the Joker greeted, “How’s it going? Nothing like a nice sleeping gas-induced nap before a meal, huh?”

“J-Joker? Joker!” Almost instantly, Robin was on his feet and in a fighting position, giving his head a bit of shake to get rid of any sleepiness he might have had left before giving the clown a glare. “What am I doing here? Why did you captur-” 

The boy stopped, glancing down at himself for a moment as he realized something. Technically, he hadn’t been captured. He wasn’t in a cage or a cell. Heck, they didn’t even tie him up! He had just been able to hop right out of his chair! “...W-Why did you bring me here?” he asked, correcting himself.

The Joker gaped at him. “Silly boy, do you even need to ask? We brought you here for a holiday meal, duh! Why else?” 

Before Robin could say anymore, Joker stepped aside, allowing the rest of the scene to become clear. Just a couple feet in front of them was a long dining room table, filled to brim with not just food but also villains. 

All of their rogues from the A-list to the D-list were sitting there, with most of them having a happy and relaxed smile on their face. Some of them were already making light dinner (or rather, lunch) conversations while others were simply eyeing all the dishes, eager to start eating. There were no weapons, no traps, no stolen goods. Just a regular old Thanksgiving meal - just with a few not-so-regular side dishes included, like raw meat for Killer Croc and a couple bowls of oranges for Man-Bat.

“...Oh.” Whether it was from surprise or simply the lack of danger, Robin sat back down in his chair, and stared at them all.

“You really can’t blame us from using other means of ‘inviting’ you, kid,” Two-Face said, with several other villains nodding in agreement.

“Maybe if you and Batman actually accepted invitations that weren’t part of some criminal scheme every once in a while,” Catwoman added, “Honestly, it’s more your fault than ours.”

“So, wait... You guys just wanted to have a Thanksgiving meal with us?” Robin asked, raising an eyebrow. Sure, a lot of these guys weren’t too bad when they weren’t in the middle of a crime, but still. This was pretty surprising and strange, even for them. 

But Joker just continued to smile, giving the boy a nod. “Yyyyep!”

“...” Glancing down at all the food now, Robin gave a small scowl. “And this isn’t just a trick, just to try and poison me or something?”

“Kid, you were just unconscious. For like, an hour!” Joker told him, crossing his arms, “If we wanted to kill you, you’d be dead by now. Besides, poisoning someone is such a lame way to kill someone. It’s just so... underwhelming!” Several more villains agreed with him on that. “Trust us, everything here is completely edible! ...Well, just as long as you consider tofu turkey edible. Ozzie over there won’t let us have the real stuff.”

The Penguin gave a confirming “Wenk!” at that while his ‘guests of honor’ (a small flock of turkeys that sat around him) continued to innocently gobble and look around, safe and alive for one more year, at least.

“But... Why?” Robin asked, more curious than confused. 

Thankfully, when it came to the adorable Boy Wonder, the villains were actually a pretty patient bunch. “Yeah yeah, we know that we’d usually do something big on the holidays,” Poison Ivy began to say, “And just between you and us, some of us actually DO have some pretty big schemes in mind for Christmas and New Years that are just going to be a hoot!”

“I’ve even got something planned for Black Friday!” Calendar Man spoke up, “Which, that starts so early that it’s like still doing a crime on Thanksgiving!”

“So yeah, we’re definitely not above causing havoc and trying to destroy the holidays,” Joker said proudly, “But this year, well...” His normally manic smile softened a bit as he remembered... “Let’s just say quite a few of us have a lot to be thankful for this year, and a lot of that is (surprisingly) because of you and Batman. So, why not take a moment to celebrate it?”

“...Yeah,” Robin nodded, finally starting to smile a bit as well, “Why not?”

“Heh, well, with all that settled-” Joker turned back towards the table, “I think it’s about time we get this meal started already! Just as soon as Batman gets here, we’ll-!”

From above, they heard one of the old window break, a dark figure smashing through them. Speak of the Bat and he shall appear, it would seem.

Landing perfectly between Robin and the Joker (though only facing towards the latter) with a deep scowl on his face, Batman narrowed his eyes. “Alright, Joker, where is he? And I swear, if you’ve hurt him at all-!”

“I’m over here, Batdad!” Robin spoke up, giving a small wave.

Batman spun around. “Robin!” He quickly looked the boy over, only daring to look relived once he was sure that his son was unharmed. “Good, you’ve already untied yourself. Come on, let’s kick their butts-!”

“Not this time, my dear enemy,” Joker told him, smirking at Batman a bit while Bane brought over a second chair, placing it next to Robin. 

“You-! ...Wait, what?”

“We’ll explain it to you later,” the clown prince of crime insisted, “But for now, let’s just start eating already, before we all starve! Come on, I’ll even let you care the tofu turkey!” 

“...” The Dark Knight looked at the Joker, then at the table full of food, and then back at the Joke, giving a flat lookr. “...It’s poisoned, isn’t it-?”

“What is with you guys and poison?!” Joker snapped, scowling now, “Seriously, poisoning someone’s meal is the most BORING way to kill a person! You’re just sitting there and waiting! Where’s the fun in that?!”

“Trust me, Padre, it’s not poisoned,” Robin added, giving his father a confident smile. 

Batman hummed, his eyes still narrowed. Of course, he still wasn’t totally sure about all of this. However, he did decide to at least sit down (for now). And with that, the first ever Rogue/Hero Thanksgiving Lunch began.

In some ways, it was about as chaotic as Batman thought it would be. There were small arguments between some of the villains, dishes were being practically thrown across the table rather than simply passed (which of course led to a couple food fights, though at least the Dynamic Duo had enough battle skills to handle those), and more than a few annoying Thanksgiving themed jokes and riddles were told by Joker and Riddler respectively.

But, in other ways... It wasn’t too bad. While sitting at the long table, enjoying their food and not having to worry about being arrested or antagonized, the infamous rogues barely seemed like rogues at all. They just talked, and ate, and played around with each other. Quite a few of the villains even asked Robin how he was doing in things like school and his training (things that the young hero was very eager to talk about) as if they were his long-lost crazy aunts and uncles.

In fact... In a strange way, they really were sort of like another family to Batman. A weird, destructive, VERY quirky one (then again, he wasn’t exactly ‘normal’ himself), but a semi-family unit nonetheless. 

And hey, if the occasional bites he took from the food was any consolation, they weren’t bad cooks either. 

But as admittedly nice as it all was, it wasn’t to last. Not when there was still another Thanksgiving meal to get to. So as soon as things began to wind down and the desserts had nearly been finished off, Batman stood up from his seat.

“Alright well, this has been nice but, we probably should get going,” he said, “But uh, thanks for, you know, not trying to kill us for once.”

“Yeah!” Robin added, giving them all a cheerful smile as he jumped to his feet, “This was great! Thanks so much for the food! It’s too bad we can’t stay a bit longer, but-” He gave a small gasp, suddenly remembering. “Oh, wait! My pie! Hey, when you guys kidnapped me, did any of you see a-?”

“Wait, you mean a pumpkin pie with whipped cream on it?” Joker asked, standing up as well, “You mean that WASN’T for us to eat? Oh well, too bad!”

“What?!” In an instant, the boy looked practically heartbroken. Sniffling slightly, he glanced down at his feet, hoping that Alfred wouldn’t be too disappointed.

The Joker winced. “Oh geez, don’t cry, kiddo! I was just kidding! Here-” Reaching behind his back and pulling it out of seemingly nowhere, the clown revealed the pie, safe and uneaten.

At that, Robin immediately went from sad to happy once more. “Thanks, Mr. Joker!”

“Yeah yeah,” Joker mumbled, chuckling slightly as he handed him the dessert, “Man, someone ought to get those sad puppy-dog eyes of yours classified as weapons...” 

“Heh, tell me about it,” Batman smirked. Robin just continued to smile, holding the dessert box close to him. “...So hey, don’t think that any of this will make us think twice about chasing after any of you. Got it?”

Joker gave him a toothy grin. “Wouldn’t have it any other way, greatest enemy.”

“Cool,” the hero nodded, “So, yeah, happy Thanksgiving, Joker.”

The gesture was nice, but the clown didn’t give one in return. Instead, he raised an eyebrow. “Um, Batsy? Aren’t you forgetting something?”

“...” Batman sighed (or maybe it was more of a groan), but he still forced himself to say it. “I hate you.”

Joker’s smile, a softer one this time, quickly returned. “Hate you too, Bats. Happy Thanksgiving.”

()()()()()()()()()()

As it was to be expected, thanksgiving dinner at Wayne Manor was just as enjoyable (if not more enjoyable) as the one at the Joker’s hideout. The meal was cooked to perfection, the Gordons were enjoyable to talk to, and - as Alfred made sure to point out - the pie really was a perfect end to their meal despite it being from a store. 

At some point though, between the moving from the dining room to a more comfortable sitting area and opening of another bottle of fancy wine, Dick disappeared from the family scene.

“Hmph, usually I’m the one who disappears,” Bruce mumbled as he walked down the hall. He had excused himself to go look for the boy, though it didn’t take him long to figure out where Dick had gone, thanks to a slight breeze in one of the east halls. 

Opening the glass door, the billionaire stepped out onto the balcony. From the light of the full moon above as well as the small lights lit along the side of the manor, he could easily spot his son sitting on the edge of the railing. Had he been any other child and not a super talented kid-acrobat, Bruce would’ve been concerned. But Dick was indeed a super talented kid-acrobat, so instead he simply joined him on the edge.

Dick gave a small yawn before smiling over at him. “Hey Dad...”

“Hey kid,” Bruce nodded, “You didn’t eat too much, did you?”

“Nah, just sorta sleepy. Though the air would wake me up,” Dick explained, leaning slightly on his father as he did so. 

“Makes sense.” Using a free arm, he gently ruffled Dick’s hair before resting a hand on the boy’s shoulders. 

Smiling a bit more now, Dick closed his eyes, just for a moment. “Today was a good day... A good Thanksgiving...”

“Heh, yeah. I mean, the whole kidnapping-invite to a villain lunch was a bit of a surprise but, yeah, still pretty good.”

“Yep,” the boy nodded, yawning again, “And, and then we got to have another family meal here at the manor. A meal for our normal sides, and our superhero sides.” Considering that, not too long ago, neither of them would’ve had any family-filled holiday meals, two of them in the same day really was a nice thought. “...Hey Padre?”

“Yeah?” Dick didn’t answer right away. Instead, he moved closer, giving Bruce a tight hug before continue. “...I’m really glad that I’m able to celebrate the holidays with you, and Alfred, and everyone. Really glad...” 

“...” Slowly, Bruce returned the hug, smiling despite the slight ache in his heart.  “Yeah... Me too, mi hijo. Me too.” Maybe his parents could never share another holiday with him, but he still had the next best thing, and that was more than enough..

The two hugged for a bit longer before letting go. Once they hopped off the balcony railing, it was only then that they noticed another person had joined them outside. “I hope I’m not interrupting anything, Sirs,” Alfred began to say, “But I just wanted to let you both know that Miss Barbara and Former Commisioner Gordon were forced to leave early.”

Dick straightened up a bit at that, looking a bit more awake now. “Really? Why?”

“Well, I didn’t get all the details but, I believe it was mainly because of a recently reported incident from downtown,” Alfred continued, “Something about... Calendar Man using remote controlled shopping carts to steal products and terrorize Black Friday shoppers?” 

“...” Slowly, the Dynamic Duo turned towards each other. Bruce gave his son a bit of a look, but Dick just smiled, looking as determined as ever. And once he saw that, Bruce returned the smile. “Actually Alfred, I think we may head out and do some ‘shopping’ too.” 

“Very well,” Alfred nodded, stepping aside and silently wishing them luck, “I’ll be sure to leave out some leftovers in case either of you are hungry afterwards.”

“Thanks Grandpa!” Dick called back at him as he and Bruce ran inside, more than ready for the end of their Thanksgiving and the exciting start of their nightly superhero activities.

After all, what was a holiday in Gotham without a super villain fight?

THE END 

[mercurialsmile]

What are your top 5 notps

tHANK YOU for asking me I woke up this morning still kinda salty so like. 

These are gonna be in no particular order btw so ye! Also Ma/bill and Mab/ifica aren’t gonna be included as I already talked about why I don’t like those ships and why are they are part of my ever-growing notp list. 

1. D/rarry (Harry Potter)

Honestly? Just don’t like it. Like... that’s it. I like Dramione well enough, it was actually one of the first ships I started reading fanfiction for (as I just so happened to find a fic that sounded interesting that had it, read it, and was hooked) and I am a multi-shipper with certain characters, so by all means I should like d/rarry but I just don’t?

My theory for why I dislike this ship is easy: I find protag/antag ships kinda boring now after doing like. Everything with bill/dip. Don’t get me wrong, bill/dip and d/rarry are. Very different in numerous ways, but d/rarry reminds me of bill/dip and I already played and read about the dynamics of a protag/antag ship like this, so trying to get into d/rarry, which is similar, was boring for me. 

Also, in general, I don’t ship Harry with anyone? Like I dislike h/inny too, but that’s more of “I don’t like it, but it’s canon, and I have to deal with it so might as well just Not Care” instead of outright hating it. And though I say I would’ve preferred Harry to end up with Hermione, I don’t ship those two together either!

The only ship with Harry I kinda sorta like is Harry/Luna and even then, I see them as being something really low-key. No sexual relationship, just them being good friends and being borderline, what they would consider “romantic” once in a blue moon. And that’s it? 

Anyways, I find d/rarry boring and I feel like there isn’t anything new to the ship for me and shipping Harry w anyone sexually or in a heavily romantic way makes me kinda uncomfortable and I Don’t Like It so yeah. 

2. Amenadiel/Linda (Lucifer) 

God. Idk how many people who follow me watch Lucifer but this ship is. No. No? Nooooo?

They’re just. So awkward together. They’re kinda awkward together as friends but their awkward friendship is more kinda cute than anything. But together like... romantically? No? Pls no?

I also ship Linda with Maze like. A lot. A lot a lot. I ship Linda w Maze more than I do Chloe w Lucifer at least like. I am actively talking to the TV when I see Linda and Maze together to PLEASE KISS PLEASE YA’LL ARE SO GAY FOR EACH OTHER ITS OBV PLS KISS 

Hasn’t happened yet but. But. It could happen. I am really hoping this ain’t q*eer/baiting tho. I r r r hope so. I mean. Maze and Lucifer are both confirmed to be bi/pan basically (tho Lucifer seems to have a pref for women) so there are technically lgbt+ characters in the show already but like. But. B u t. 

Anyways. Luckily for me, it looks like Amenadiel/Linda won’t be canon at ALL and I really hope it stays that way and they stay kinda awkward friends. That’s cuter and a lot more interesting than shipping them together in my book. 

3. Hermione/Snape (Harry Potter)

Is anyone surprised this is a ship, really? I mean if you’ve been on tumblr for any length of time you’re prob sayin’ nah. Thing is, I found about this ship years before I had a tumblr and on ffnet so I was kinda. Shocked? As I didn’t realize how. Weird ships could get. 

And I can’t really say much about adult/minor ships or teacher/student whatever. I really can’t. But this is just so. Fucking random? Like. I guess bill/dip is random too.... but also i feel Hermione/Snape is even more so. 

And idk most the fics I’ve seen of this ship is just standard student/teacher shit nothing all that. Interesting I guess to me? which is if you like standard student/teacher whatever I guess but that doesn’t cut it for me.

But again. Why? Is it because Hermione is muggle-born and Snape an ex-magical na//zi? That’s.... even I wouldn’t touch that can of worms Jesus Christ. Like. I don’t get it. I don’t get it, I don’t wanna get it, and I’m gonna continue disliking it from my own corner and mind my own business ‘cause I don’t even wanna know.  

4. Kat/aang (Avatar: The Last Airbender)

Z/utara should’ve been canon

No really I grew up watching A/tla and like. It was my fav show and I. Really liked Katara and Zuko together esp as I only shipped canon ships at that time for the most part (or if I didn’t like it I’d just ignore it but not actively ship those characters with anyone else) as I was young and didn’t think you could. Ship two people who aren’t together in canon I guess. 

But then. Kat/aang happened and I went “Wtf” and “that’s not right Zuko and Katara should’ve been together wtf wtf” I felt really cheated. And so Z/utara was the first technical non-canon ship I ever had.

Another reason I dislike kat/aang is that, for me, it felt forced, and the kat/anng episodes (like cave of two lovers or whatever its called) are just. Boring. And dumb. And not that good. I felt like they ended up together bc protagonist and deuteragonist not because I felt they went well together.

Idk! I felt like Aang and Katara had a more sibling relationship together! Like she was more of an older sister to Aang than anything else! And his crush on her was more like the young boy who has a crush on his older babysitter sorta thing but obv that would never go anywhere and it’d fade. 

That’s the general vibe I got so when they got together I was. Kinda uncomfortable. Because I felt they had a sibling relationship. And I felt it kinda came out of left field, was forced, and just. Stereotypical? Boring?

I mean I still enjoy the show and it’s, again, kinda like a “well it’s canon so whatever” but I still dislike it a lot and still feel like z/utara should’ve been canon. 

5. Ma/korra

I liked Korra well enough, but lets be real, the first season had some MAJOR issues trying to include a stupid love triangle like they were adapting some shitty YA novel. And even tho the second season was kinda blah as well, the third and fourth season made up for the previous two in my book.

But... ma/korra was just. A fucking mess. I hate this ship as I hate the things is stands for. 

The girl hate between Korra and Asami, Korra being a fucking asshole to Bolin (WHO IS A SWEETIE PIE HOW COULD YOU) and just. Me sitting there. Going “Are we really doing this. Are we really. How could you write a series as amazing as a:tla and think that a short sequel series needed something as complex as a LOVE TRIANGLE. 

(and yes: proper long triangles are very hard to pull off, very complex, could be a plot in itself, and that’s why most everything fails when incorporating one as a subplot lol) 

When the love triangle popped up, I just. No. No. Mako isn’t a bad guy ‘cause he liked Asami instead of Korra. Asami isn’t a bad guy ‘cause she liked Mako back. And the narrative kinda painted both of them as being “bad” because... idk Korra didn’t get the guy? Like Christ. Please stop. Please stop characterizing Korra as a fucking asshole and some sort of girl version of a Nice Guy TM. 

And though I think Korra and Mako did get some nice moments between each other once together, and though overall their relationship, on paper minus all the other shit wasn’t like. Pure garbage or anything, I def ship Korra with Asami a hell of a lot more. And the entire love triangle bullshit just. Ruined Mako and Korra, at least in my opinion. (Bolin and Asami came from that unscathed for me). It took me quite a while to start liking Mako again ‘cause of the love triangle and same with Korra.

So I guess for ma/korra it’s less the ship itself (tho imo the ship itself isn’t that special and kinda whatever) I hate the ship for what it did to the show and what it reminds me of. If that makes any sense. 

THIS IS SUCH A LONG POST I’m sorry but. Yeah I was salty last night and had a LOT to say. 

And I have more notps for sure but I have to... remember them. I tend to kinda forget my notps as well. I don’t like them. Why remember them?

Anyways, thanks for the ask!! 

[as-be-low]

Time Has Changed Me, Chapter 11

I Long To Belong (But I Always Have To Go)

Home ties me up with discontent Since the day I first went Yearning to be back again, How will I return, and when?

Billie Marten—Ribbon Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 10

Though tranquil, Sunday was filled with small challenges, most of which included trying not to step on tiny fingers. Breakfast had hardly consisted of anything. Stanley had been quiet and unresponsive and Stella turned her nose up at the leprecorn-infested cereal and refused all but the plain toast Stan had cajoled her into accepting.

There had been no tears on Sunday, but Stanford wasn't sure the sheer malaise was much better. After eating half of the toast and leaving the rest as crumbs across her face and Stan's lap, Stella stuck out a little leg in order to climb down. Stanley wrapped an arm around her middle.

"Wait, sweetie."

"But I want to go outside."

"You're not dressed for outside, sweetie. How's about we go outside a little later 'n right now we play somethin' inside?"

"Okay." Stanley set her on her wobbly feet and she tottered off towards the living room with Stanley not far behind.

"Can we play giggle bunny?"

"...Giggle bunny?"

"Punch buggy with more laughin'." Stanley mumbled. "That only works for cars, sweetie. We'll have to play somethin' else."

Her little face puckered into a frown of concentration. "I spy?"

"That might work, sweetie, but I dunno."

"Giggle bunny spy!" She hopped as she made her proposal.

"What?" Ford couldn't stop the word from slipping out.

"We play I spy and...and...'n we giggle when we see something!" Another hop.

"This game doesn't sound sustainable."

"Shut up, Ford."

"But–"

"Giggle bunny spy. Alright pumpkin. Let's play."

"You go first, Daddy."

"No, you go first. You gotta show me how t'play, remember?"

"Oh." Stella was silent for a moment before snickering.

"Has the game started?"

"Yeah."

Stanford would never understand this "game," and resigned himself to his fate.

Giggle bunny spy soon turned into a nap in the floor for Stella after she laughed herself into a coughing fit. "Giggling is tiring work, it seems." Stanford mumbled as he stared down at the child asleep in the threshold.

"Everything's tirin' work when you're three."

"That may be true." Ford hovered in the doorway.

"You can just step over her, y'know." Step over her?

"No, it's fine."

"You're tryin' t' get out of the room 'n you're just standin' there. Just step over her." He sniffed

"I..."

"Ford. You gonna just wait for her to wake up ‘n move? Just go."

He refused.

With a groan, Stanley stood and ambled over to the pair and hunched over to lift Stella. Ford slipped past, and when he returned, he found the child once again sprawled out across the threshold.

"It's where she wanted to be." Stan shrugged. He made no motions to move her. Well, damnit. Ford lifted his foot high, and with one white-knuckled hand gripping the jamb, stretched to tiptoe over the sleeping lump.

"There. Now, was that so hard?"

Yes. "I could have stepped on her." He could have broken her tiny fingers. His heart raced at the prospect. His thoughts wandered back to his childhood, when he and Stanley had been cornered by the neighborhood bullies and gotten into a fight. He’d made a fist wrong and broken his hand and had to be taken to the hospital and gawked at. He didn’t want that for Stanley’s child. She didn’t deserve it. “I could have stepped on her.” He could have broken her fingers and ruined her hands and—

"Ford. It’s fine. Calm down." A few minutes later the child sat up, groggy and rubbing her eyes. She bumbled to her feet and crept closer to Stanley, who pulled her into his lap. She hunkered back down. "Still sleepy, sweetie pie?" She didn't reply. "Alright, sweetie. Go back to sleep." Ford watched as Stanley began to rock her from side to side, the movements slow and clearly practiced. Sure enough, Stanley's eyes began to fall heavy-lidded themselves and the two were soon sound asleep. Ford watched them for a long moment before actually moving. A pen slipped into his hand while the other slapped flat against a leather-bound book. The scene was too pristine to let it pass unnoted, and he’d yet to document their visit.

And so he sketched, taking care to hatch out the details of the napping scene across from him. There were better, more precise ways to commit it to memory, he knew, but this one brought him the most satisfaction in that moment.

His hand traced the lines of Stan’s face, which was a great deal more relaxed than he’d seen in over twenty years. He wasn’t smiling. There was just… an absence of anything, if he was honest with himself. Stanley was just asleep. No sleeping with a smile, no frown. An absence of any discernible anything. Even as children, when Stanley slept like the dead, there was a certain careless ease with which he did so. Not anymore. Even his sleep seemed to hold that standardized disinterest Stan seemed so eager to front.

And so Stanford wrote.

After many years since our last encounter, Stanley actually agreed to meet with me once again. Imagine my surprise when my long-estranged brother returned, and with a child in tow, no less! I have a small niece, and her name is Stella. I have yet to ask for her second name. I suppose I should get around to it soon, before the question becomes out-of-place. She’s quite small; Stanley says she’s three years old, yet I’d assumed she was barely two. Despite her small stature, her resemblance to Stanley is quite striking. Stanley refuses to tell me who her mother is, so I find it safe to assume that I wouldn’t know her anyway. Nonetheless, there’s something familiar in the features she doesn’t share with Stanley, or myself by extension, I suppose. Her hair is certainly curly, as would befit any Pines, but there’s also something about it I can’t quite place.

Hair aside, she and I share the distinct misfortune of having inherited the polydactyl gene, though she doesn’t seem to have noticed yet. She’s too young to understand the birth defect now, but I fear she will learn, in due time, how distinct her hands are in comparison to others. I can only hope that other children will not be as cruel to her as they were to me. Though he insists that he does not want to turn her hands into an ordeal for her to be ashamed of, I can’t help but worry that Stanley’s indifference towards the matter will cause more harm in the long run, from our personal experience. Our very first day of school was none too enjoyable with the realization that my hands were decidedly not the norm.

He hatched out the details of the little girl’s hair as she dozed.

Little Stella is certainly a charismatic child and it’s evident that Stanley loves her dearly. He’s changed a great deal from how I remember him.

Is it my fault?

Stanford’s brow furrowed.

She seems to be a content little girl, despite the circumstances. I question the normalcy of it, though I suppose I should rather appreciate her versatility than wish upon her the turmoil that such a life must surely bring. I can’t help but wonder how Stanley managed it. She seems accustomed to such a life, though not bitter or resentful about it in the least. Is it that she doesn’t know enough to feel indignant? I shouldn’t wish such on either of them. Stanley has suffered enough. It’s a wonder that he appears to have shielded his daughter from the brunt of it.

Her current interests include:

Naptime, apparently

Being held—she seems to be a very affectionate child. She must get that from Stanley

Stanley himself—she insists on remaining in his company and the depth of her affection nearly moved him to tears the day prior

Coloring and the color green

Giggling, running and playing in water—she’s quite adept at all three

And worst of all, the Leprecorn! I don’t understand what it is she sees in the horrid creature. It does nothing but play annoying music, stand in the way, and giggle. Maybe she likes it for its giggling. If that happens to be the case, perhaps a hyena would make a better companion.

Stanford left the pen in place as he stilled, the ink crawling across the page to feather into a crackling pattern as the nib lingered.

How was it possible for Stan to care for a newborn with no means, and from the backseat of a car, no less? I shudder to think of the ways in which such a situation would have compounded the inherent difficulties of childrearing. It’s astounding that Stella survived infancy. Statistically speaking, she should not have survived.

His eyes flitted back up to Stanley, catching the hint of a frown that began to curl across his features. Stanford let the ink dry into the page before flipping to the next.

It pains me to accept it, but Stanley appears to be much worse off than he was the last two times I saw him, which is saying a great deal, since he was (still) homeless the first time, and just plucked from who knows where on the other side of the portal the second. He seems worn out completely. It’s as though he’s just done with everything that arises. It’s a long ways away from the brazen and outgoing child he’d been when we were young.

His physical condition is more shocking than I anticipated. Stanley has numerous scars and injuries, though I must admit I do not know at what juncture each appeared, save for one.

His hand lingered as he hesitated over the words, inadvertently bolding them with his shaky letters.

I do not know how Stanley survived the brand.

His thoughts strayed back to an earlier journal entry, the one he’d written after sending his brother through his hellhole. Fool Fool FOOL FOOL FOOL—He’d nearly gouged through the page with the force with which he bore down on the nib. The same frenetic force had kicked Stanley against the metal that seared and bored into his skin. I killed my brother. I know I did. I killed him and he is dead. Stanley is dead because I killed him I did it myself I—

Ford remembered the page well. His eye had wept tears and blood again, and the oxidized stains crackled when he turned the pages. These two pages had blessedly stuck together, though it didn’t matter. They were still stuck well within the forefront of his mind. I never wanted to but he won’t know that because he’s DEAD and it’s entirely my fault I killed him twice I killed my brother three times—It was true. Thrice he’d killed Stanley. He’d killed his dreams when he’d shut the curtains on him and turned away. His future died along with them. He’d killed his flesh when he kicked him into the branding plate, and he’d killed and damned his existence when he sent him through the portal. He’d been so eager to condemn him for his past affronts that he stepped into the roles of both jury and executioner without a second thought. He hadn’t considered that it would actually take him from this earth until it was too late.

He’d managed to bring him back if only the husk, but it was far too late to bring his spirit back, wasn’t it? That died and withered a long time ago.

The only thing that seems to engage Stanley, other than frequent spats with me, is Stella. The child has him wrapped around her little fingers (all six!!) and I doubt he would have it any other way. I don’t know how not to instigate a fight with him, apparently, as most interactions end with at least some tension. I believe outward actions may be a better means of communication in this circumstance, though the theory remains to be tested. He seems to take offense at several smaller gestures, though with the potential aid of my own mouth.

I can only hope this will prove successful.

Stella sneezed in her sleep and woke herself in the process. Stanford raised an eyebrow, forcing back a chuckle as she sat up and searched for the culprit. She squinted at him.

“I believe we’re supposed to cover our mouths when we sneeze, Stella.”

“No.” she rubbed her eyes before settling back down. Sleepyheads, the both of them. Ford smiled. He’d let them sleep for the time being.

  Hours later, a sharp inhale of air preceded Stanley’s eyes peeling open. “Ugh.”

Stan had woken up stiff and sore, Ford could tell. He’d made that same face enough. “…You alright?”

“Yeah.” He grumbled back.

“If you need, I’ve got some—”

“I’m good.” So he wouldn’t admit to his obvious discomfort. Alright.

Stella was still sound asleep in her father’s arms as he inched his way to his feet to pace with her. Wasn’t that for children who were upset? She was asleep. What was the point?

When she finally did wake, Stella slapped a hand to her face to rub at her eye, letting out a little whine as she tried to take in her surroundings.

“Hi, sweetiepie,” Stanley cooed, in a voice so gentle it unnerved Ford. “Hi! Oh, sweetie, you’re okay.” The child had begun to whine as she turned her head from side to side. “It’s okay.” Stanley shifted her to place an onslaught of kisses to her pudgy cheek and gradually the small whimpers turned to faint giggles. She rested her head against his shoulder. “That’s more like it.”

He stood in place and rocked for a few moments before she spoke up. “C’n I go play?”

“Outside?”

“Yeah. I wanna play outside.”

Stan mulled it over. “You’ve been so quiet all day. Sure.”

“’Kay.”

“Let’s go get your coat.”

The pair wandered outside while Stanley finagled a little arm through a sleeve, his own thin jacket tossed over his shoulder. “Lucky!” Stanford heard a set of hooves lope across the porch. “Hi!”

“TOP ‘O THE MORNIN’ TO YA!”

“OHH. Oh. It… It actually does talk. Geez. Okay. Alright.” Ford heard a series of stomps and hops interspersed with laughter. He could have done without the leprecorn’s laughter. “Yeah, you two practice gallopin’. Good plan.” Stan’s voice was muffled.

Stanford let the syncopated clomping fall to the background as he turned his attention back to the stacks of paper strewn across his worktable.

By the time he looked up from his work, the sun had long since set and Stan and his daughter had been tucked away upstairs for what might have been hours.

≈

The following day, Ford waited for Stan to make his way down the stairs before stopping him in his tracks. “We should go out today to buy a baby gate.”

“The f—I don’t know what it is you’re gettin’ at, but whatever it is, it’s too early for this.”

“It’s necessary.”

“Ford, can I at least set my child down before you start throwing sh—throwing stuff at me?”

Ford relented long enough for Stanley to do just that, and watched as his brother sat his groggy daughter in the kitchen chair. She let out a whine on contact with the wood, and he promptly lifted her back up. “It’s a good investment.”

“Listen t’what you just said and think about how that makes any sense.”

“Stanley, I’m serious.”

“So’m I. We’re not gonna be here that long. What sense does it make to buy a baby gate?”

“The point still remains that it would be useful while you’re here.”

Stan paced in place for a moment, his mouth opening and closing as though he were interrupting himself. “Why are you doing this, Ford?” his voice was barely above a whisper and everything about that screamed wrong in Stanford’s ears. Stanley wasn’t supposed to sound like that. That broken, ragged tone was not supposed to leave his mouth.

Stella, who was slung over Stanley’s shoulder, looked around for a moment before giving Stanford a grin. “Hi!”

“Good morning, sweetling.” He hummed. She stuck her hand out and it took Ford a moment to realize he was probably supposed to take it. “Oh.” He offered her his hand and she strained to grab it, clamping two of his fingers in her tiny fist. Ford stared at the small digits. It earned him a coo. How sweet. She was certainly a happy baby, and for that, he was thankful.

Stanley moved to step forward, not realizing she had a grasp on Stanford, and garnered a yelp from all three parties for it. As he froze, Stella stuck her free hand out towards her uncle.

“I… You want me to carry you?” She was already in Stanley’s arms, why would she want him? Her little free hand waved in the air and he reached for her, hesitant until she slid out of Stanley’s arms and her weight dropped into his. Ford pulled her close and tried to imitate Stanley’s posture, unable to school his face into anything other than shock as she wiggled and made herself comfortable. He craned his neck to get a better look at her. “Ah, good morning?” Her warm little cheek pressed against his as she leaned in despite his efforts to inspect her face. He couldn’t bring himself to mind. “Stella, would you like to go to the store today? We could get some things.” He offered.

“Stanford!”

“Yeah.” Stella hummed, unenthused yet without her father’s outright disdain for the idea. Her hand came up to his shoulder and she balled the fabric of his shirt into her fist. He might’ve been dismayed if he’d ever cared about wrinkled fabric.

“I…” He wasn't sure what else to say. How did one hold a conversation with toddlers? “Are you...having a good morning?"

“Yeah.”

“Good. I'm glad.”

"Stella, sweetie, let's get some breakfast in you. You want some of your cereal?"

"No." She reached for Stanley all the same.

"No? But it's got Lucky on it."

"No."

"Toast? How 'bout toast?"

"I don' want any." She frowned. Stan sighed.

"Okay. Whatever. You'll pipe up when you're hungry. What about thirsty? D'you want some milk?"

She thought about it for a moment. "Okay. But only a little!“

Stanley plucked his child from Ford's arms and placed her back in the chair, ignoring her little huff as he pulled out a glass. "Here, pumpkin."

"And you?"

Stan paused. "What?"

"What'll you have?"

"I'm good."

"Stan."

"Ford." He mirrored his tone.

Ford pursed his lips. "I'll repeat. What should we have for breakfast?"

"I'm fine, Ford." Stanley mumbled, clearing his throat shortly after. That didn't sound fine. His brother eyed him. “Stop worryin’ about it.”

“Someone has to if you won’t.” he grumbled under his breath. Stanley shot him a glare and he made it a point to ignore it. "I'll try not to ruin the eggs again."

"Ford, don't bother."

"I will do exactly that." He heard Stanley force a groan from between pursed lips. "I'm assuming scrambled is fine? Because I'm afraid any more than that might be asking a bit much at this stage." He turned to look at his brother, unnerved by the way he'd contorted himself to lay his head against the table without disturbing Stella and her glass of milk. "Are...are you alright?"

"I'm fine, Ford." Stanley sighed. "It's just a headache." It sounded like an afterthought.

"Are you sure?"

"Ford."

"Right. Sorry. Maybe. Possibly. I suppose."

"Oh, sweet Moses."

Stella jerked her glass away from her face with a cough and Stanley bolted upright. "Shit, sweetie, are you okay? Please tell me you're okay." She wiped at her eye as he patted her back and it took Ford a moment to realize the egg in his hand was now the victim of his balled fist.

"You said a bad word." Her little voice was watery.

Stanley's nervous chuckle was high-pitched and wavering. "Sweet Moses, don't scare me like that. Don't drink so fast, okay?"

"I didn't!" Her small voice had a slight rasp and she struggled to clear her throat. Stanley leaned her forward as he thumped her little back. After a few moments she began to hum, her voice rattling.

“Now you’re just playin’. Feel better?”

“Yeah.” She drawled the word out.

“Good.”

Ford’s shoulders loosened as Stanley pressed a kiss to her forehead and he looked down at the egg dripping from his wrist with a scowl. “Tch. Wonderful.”

Stanley turned, poised to speak, then paused. “Oh. Egg. Gross.”

“Suffice it to say my appetite has been lost.”

“I was tellin’ you that before.”

≈

“Ford, enough with the baby gate. It’s fine.”

“Didn’t you say it only takes a second?”

“I—Oh, fuck you.”

Ford had kept at it for hours. Stan did his best to ignore him, but he was only a man. He could only put with so much before he snapped, and he refused to do that in front of Stella again. He gave in instead. He only wished he could wipe that stupid smirk off of Ford’s face as he buckled himself into the passenger seat of the Stanleymobile.

“It only takes a second.” Stanley mimicked as he finished buckling Stella into her car seat and folded himself behind the wheel.

“What?”

“Nothin’, sweetie. Don’t worry about it.”

“Okay.” She seemed uncertain as her little feet flopped to and fro in the seat.

Baby gates.

They were headed two towns over for a baby gate. What sense did that make? What did he have to do to get Ford to understand? They weren’t gonna stay for long. Coming up here was a stupid idea.

They just needed to grab the cheapest baby gate they had and run back out. That wasn’t too tall of an order.

This was Stanford Pines. Of course it was a tall order.

Once inside, Stanley grabbed a basket and plopped Stella in the seat. It’s too early for all of this. “Baby gates. C’mon.”

“Why?” Stella piped.

“The baby gate? It’s for you.” He gave her a quick peck on the nose, satisfied with her little grin. That’s my girl.

“Why?”

“Beats me.”

“Now, Stanley—Oh, wait.” Stanford stretched out an arm to still Stanley, his spare hand reaching out to point to a shelf.

“What?” Stanley’s eyes trailed upwards to follow the line of Stanford’s arm. “No. Not at all. Absolutely not.

“Stanley, be reasonable.”

“I’m perfectly reasonable. You be reasonable. No one needs 100 Toaster Pops. Put that back.” He caught Ford wincing at his daughter and glanced down. Stella’s eyes darted back and forth between the two men as she gripped the basket’s handle bar, one hand creeping towards Stanley’s. It seemed her worried little face was the only thing that convinced Ford to acquiesce.

“Fine. But bulk stores like this are an excellent opportunity to stock up on much-needed items.”

“Mmm hmm, and Toaster Pops ain’t one of ‘em.” It was with determination that Stanley pushed the basket up and down the aisles. “Really, Ford?”

“What?” This was why Ford wanted to come all the way out here? Did Ford not expect him to catch on? Jesus Christ, he was dumb, but he wasn’t that dumb.

“Really, Ford? Really?”

“What? What, Stanley? What?”

He’d caught the man in the middle of tossing something extra into his basket. “Really?”

“A multi-pack of shirts is a necessity, Stanley. You know this.” A necessity for who? Stanley just stared at him. This was all too ridiculous for words. “You know I buy shirts in multiple sets.”

“And you have those sets, Ford. You don’t need any more.” Stan grumbled. “You’re not buying this for yourself.”

Ford was silent for a moment as Stanley scowled. “And if I’m not? It that really so bad?”

“Yes. Put ‘em back.” The pair stared at each other, long and hard. Fords scowl matched Stanley’s and he cocked a brow, reaching for a nearby pack of socks. “Ford.” Stanley’s shoulders fell. Why was he doing this? It was damn near taunting.

“It’s going in the basket, Stanley.” Ford’s voice was soft but he still found it abrasive all the same. Where the hell did he get off with all of this? Ford sent him a searching look. Oh. He was trying. Was that it? Trying or not, Ford was out of line. Stan glared at him for a few moments.

“Come on. We’re not even on the right aisle for Pete’s sake.”

“Very well.” Very well. Stan was able to stop himself from mimicking Ford out loud, but only just.

“C’mon, sweetie pie.” Stella’s little hands splayed out over his as he pushed the basket. She was pouting up at him. He leaned down to place a kiss to the tip of her nose. Still frowning. He kissed her again. And again. And blew a raspberry against her forehead. There we go. “There’s that lil’ baby laugh.” He grinned, speeding the basket along. He’d find the baby gates his damn self. Maybe Ford wouldn’t be able to pick up more shit without a basket to throw it in.

He’d been wrong. Stanford went and got a basket of his own and passed by father and child as they made their way across the store. Damnit. Stanley wanted to shove the damned thing against a wall. He paused to hold Stella for a little while, after she’d grown fussy and tired of riding in the basket. He figured he’d get tired of riding backwards with nothing to look at but his ugly mug, too. The only problem now was that she refused to get back in the basket.

“Sweetie, I need you to sit here. What’s wrong?” What had gotten into her?

“No. I wanna stay with you.”

“I’m right here, pumpkin. Right here. You know that.” Stanley sighed and hefted her higher in his arms. “What’m I gonna do with you, huh?”

“No.”

“Let’s go find this gate before you get any fussier.”

“No.”

“Oh, geez.”

Ford had beaten to the children’s section. He’d propped two gates in his basket—because of course he did, when one was already overkill— and was mulling over diapers? Stanley thanked his lucky stars Stella had been easy to potty train. It had still been absolute hell, but considering his circumstances, he figured he’d gotten off easy. “Stanford, she literally doesn’t need those.” He leaned in to inspect a brightly-colored box at the bottom of the basket, underneath the gates. “Ford, put the Blebbos back. Seriously? Space Princess Magic Castle?” Ford had always loved the stupid little blocks when they were kids. Of course he’d pick up a set.

“She may like it, Stanley.” Stan pinched the bridge of his nose. And where would she play with it? For once, reading would actually save Stanley. He lurched forward to reach into Ford’s basket, ignoring the little whimper Stella gave him as he stepped away.

“Look.” He stretched an arm out to place a hand on her tummy, hoping to placate her. “Ages six and up. Choking hazard.” He watched Ford blanch.

“Shit.”

Stella whined.

“I didn’t realize. I just thought she might like to put it together, I didn’t—“

“Ford. It’s fine. It’s fine, okay? She just doesn’t need that.” Ford gave him a crumbling nod and placed the box back on the shelf. Stanley turned back to his own basket, adorned with his wet-eyed baby doing her best to reach for him. She let out a little hiccup. He wilted. “Oh, sweetie.” He pulled her into his arms and she immediately grabbed a fistful of his hair. He figured there was no putting her down now. He settled for swaying from side to side, letting her bury her wet little face in the crook of his neck. “Oh, sweetheart. It’s okay, baby. It’s okay.” Ford swooped in and transferred the contents of Stanley’s basket into his. “Oh, for fu—would you just leave it?” he hissed.

“No.”

Stanley let out a guttural groan. “Let’s just go, okay? We’ve been here too long.”

They didn’t make it three yards before Stanford stopped to look at an endcap. He was staring at more baby items. “Stanford, no.” Stan whispered, one hand rubbing smooth circles along his child’s back. “No. Just stop.” This was entirely too much. He wanted to be sick.

“What does she need?”

“She needs you to not do this, how ‘bout that?” He didn’t appreciate the glare Ford sent him.

“Stanley, be reasonable. I want to do this.”

“Yeah, but you don’t have to.” Her stuff was fine. Some of it was big enough that he didn’t have to worry if she hit a growth spurt soon. It’d be fine. He’d get away from Ford and all this stupid shit and he’d be able to start scrounging and saving up again once he paid him back, and he’d be able to get her stuff when she needed it. Right now, she was fine.

“I’ve decided it’s my duty as an uncle.”

“You don’t do these things for Isaac, I bet.”

“Isaac doesn’t—“ Isaac doesn’t need them. He dared him to say it. “Isaac isn’t here right now.”

“Stanford—“

“I only have one niece.” He only had one nephew, too, if they were gonna play this game. “And one twin.” Stan was certain he wasn’t supposed to hear that. He didn’t want to hear it. He bit down on his tongue and pushed a heavy sigh from his nose. Deep breathing never calmed him, but there was a first time for everything. “What does she need, Stan?”

Stanley shook his head, holding his lip captive between his teeth. “No.” There was no way in hell.

“Stanley. I want to do this. It’s the least I can do, all things considered.”

The least he could do was stop humiliating him in public, but Stan didn’t see that happening in the next century.

“What about socks? I didn’t see many that had mates.”

“Oh, for… She needs some of those lil’ stretchy baby pants. ‘N some jammies.” Stan grumbled. He did his best to keep his voice as soft as possible. It was either that or shout, and even he wasn’t dumb enough to want to do that in the middle of a store. His little girl looked on the verge of tears as it was. Part of him hoped that Ford didn’t hear him. Another part knew that he’d only ask again if that were the case. This shit was mortifying, why couldn’t he figure that out?

Stella began to scrub her face against his shoulder. “Look, can we speed this up, Ford? I think she wants to be here ‘bout as much as I do.” She was probably tired. She’d never had a definite naptime, but she’d usually have fallen asleep at least once by this point.

“Right. Okay.” Stan watched Ford reach into a rack of children’s clothes before he paused. “She wears a size—”

“Get 3T.” Ford’s brow wrinkled at that, but Stanley chose to ignore it. It might be too big, but she could grow into it that way. If he was gonna waste money, there was no need to waste money on something she wouldn’t be able to use as long. He began to bounce slightly with each step, pacing back and forth along the aisle. He was too busy soothing his fussy child to notice Stanford grab an oversized stuffed unicorn and shove it in the basket, underneath the second baby gate.

Of course Stanley noticed the stupid horse once they reached the cashier.

“What is this?”

Stanford pretended not to understand for a moment. Smooth. Real smooth. “It’s a stuffed animal.” He sniffed.

“Ford. Seriously? She doesn't need that thing.”

“Look at her. She loves it.”

“Her eyes are closed and she can’t see it.”

“She wants it.”

“She—You didn't even ask. She didn’t ask.” A trickle of both shame and panic ran down his spine. What if she would have asked? He would’ve had to say no. What if she didn’t ask because she knew that already? Did she understand how decidedly not well off they were? She didn’t need to grow up that fast. It’s my fault if she does.

“It's a unicorn. She likes unicorns. Of course she wants it.” Ford rolled his eyes as he held the large fabric beast up for the disinterested clerk to scan. “She should have nice things.”

Stanley’s lips curled back taut and pressed against his gums. “Are you saying I don’t think my child deserves nice things?” His voice was low and gentle, but oily black venom dripped from behind his teeth all the same. It was a disgustingly low blow. His stomach coiled and knotted like a spring. “Is that what you think?” He loved his little girl. He knew damn well that she deserved this world and a thousand more. He knew there were so many things she deserved that he couldn’t provide, and he knew there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it. He knew he was failing her as a parent. He was failing her, but he was the only parent she had, and he hated it. He hated that she was stuck with his sorry hide, and he couldn’t help the thick, heavy guilt that accompanied his joyful pride for having her. He could have strangled Stanford, then and there, if it wouldn’t have woken his daughter. He could have strangled him, and it wouldn’t have meant a thing because he was right.

“I—That’s not what I meant.” His voice was emphatic. Of course it wasn’t. As smart and well-spoken as Ford prided himself on being, that wasn’t what he meant. Sure. Stanley turned away from him and stalked out towards the parking lot. “Stanley—“

“Shut up, Ford.” He could hear the basket wheels trailing behind him, but he couldn’t bring himself to care either way.

The two fumed their way towards the Stanleymobile, and Stanley buckled Stella in while Stanford maneuvered the large boxes in around Stella. She’d woken up with a whine in the process and Stan fumed as he watched Stanford reach into one of the bags to pull out the stupid unicorn. He handed it to the disoriented child, bleary-eyed and confused by the fuzzy waste of money she couldn't even wrap her arms around. It was as big as she was. Why the fuck did he buy that thing? Part of Stan was sure Ford bought it just to piss him off. She didn’t need that thing, hadn’t even noticed or asked for it, and Stanley didn’t have the space for it. Where was he supposed to keep it? Maybe she could use it as a body pillow back there until she outgrew it or it got too worn-out to keep.

Stanley couldn’t afford these things, and Stanford knew it. All he was doing was setting a precedent that Stanley wouldn’t be able to keep up. Another entry to the list of things he couldn’t provide. It would end up being nothing but trouble.

He kept his eyes trained straight ahead on the road as Stanford mumbled out the occasional direction back into Gravity Falls.

Here, have a thing that I did.

[regiqoa]

Why Chara Is Evil and You Need To Shut The Fuck Up About Them

So recently I’ve been seeing so many videos, texts, essays and even blogs by the UT Fandom defending Chara, making some of those Character Defense Squads, saying that they’re actually good and that there’s much more to them besides how they’re portrayed in the Genocide Run and it’s honestly becoming a hassle, if not worrying. I am familiar with Tumblr’s habit of going out of its way to look deeper into things just for the sake of erasing an evil character’s traces and dark tendencies and thus turn them into a pure sweetie who did nothing wrong and it’s honestly annoying me. You guys are having sympathy for a character that’s supposed to be a PSYCHOPATH. And before you come saying “Chara is good, the player is responsible for the Genocide Run! The PLAYER is the real villain!”, the hole is a bit lower than that. Just because the player is indeed responsible for the Genocide Run doesn’t mean Chara isn’t evil. Bear with me. Let us begin then. Let’s look into the arguments people use to defend Chara as a “good” character and I will turn them around and, trust me, there’s not much you’ll be able to say to defend them after this because the logic in those arguments are HORRIBLY flawed.

“Chara was only laughing away the pain when Asgore got sick and nearly died after eating that poisoned Butterscotch pie made by them and Asriel!”

While laughing away the pain is a huge theme in Undertale (Hell, Sans does it all the time), I HIGHLY doubt they were laughing at stress. Let’s look into the VHS tape where this situation is mentioned and talked about by Asriel:

Asriel: Howdy, <Name>! Smile for the camera! Ha, this time I got YOU! I left the cap on... ON PURPOSE! Now you're smiling for noooo reason! Hee hee hee. What? Oh, yeah, I remember. When we tried to make butterscotch pie for Dad, right? The recipe asked for cups of butter... But we accidentally put in buttercups instead. Yeah! Those flowers got him really sick. I felt so bad. We made Mom really upset. I should have laughed it off, like you did... Um, anyway, where are you going with this? Huh? Turn off the camera...? OK.

So Asriel playfully tricks Chara, they start laughing and all of a sudden they just remember how they nearly killed their dad along with Asriel, right? In those circumstances and context, it means Chara remembers poisoning Asgore as a prank, something funny to laugh about, the same way purposefully leaving the lens cap on was for Asriel. So, yeah, they weren’t laughing any pain away; they were sadistically laughing at the pain Asgore was in and how probably they were rubbing their hands together while cooking up their little plan to use Asriel to destroy humanity under the guise of “freeing everyone”. This tape also really goes to show how different Asriel and Chara are, as Asriel also mentions how he felt so bad at the incident. I should also mention how Chara smiles creepily at Flowey’s distress when they make him scared of them when he realizes Chara would never hesitate to kill him if he got in their way and they are also shown smiling when we see them for the first time after killing Flowey at the end of the Genocide Run. Also, isn’t it Flowey himself who comments Chara has a "sick sense of humour”? Hell, many many Monsters comment on the protagonist’s “creepy smile” or "strange expression" throughout the Genocide Run, not to mention the =) face that appears instead of the exclamation point (!) atop the protagonist’s head before they fight a monster starting from the Waterfall area is highly associated with Chara. They’re HAPPY to be fighting the Monsters they come across and hunt, they’re happy to kill.

“Chara is clearly uncomfortable with the player the second time they do the Genocide Run”

This argument likely stems from that one line of Chara’s during their monologue if a Genocide Run is done twice:

"But you and I are not the same, are we? This SOUL resonates with a strange feeling. There is a reason you continue to recreate this world. There is a reason you continue to destroy it. You. You are wracked with a perverted sentimentality. Hmm. I cannot understand these feelings anymore."

I’d say “impatient” is the right word, not “uncomfortable”. At this rate, the player’s and Chara’s motives and desires are different. The reason the player continues to recreate and destroy the world is to satisfy their completist desire of wanting to find out every single thing there is to know about Undertale (or any game, for that matter), even if it means traversing the Genocide Run more than once, which is exactly the “perverted sentimentality” Chara is referring to and, considering how much of a real pain in the ass it is to complete it, it’s no surprise that Chara calls such an action “perverted". So they don’t understand you anymore, your desires are not the same anymore. The same is commented by Sans during his fight:

“i know your type. you’re uh, very determined, aren’t you? you’ll never give up, even if there’s uh… absolutely NO benefit to persevering whatsoever. if i can make that clear. no matter what, you’ll just keep going, not out of any desire for good or evil… but just because you think you “can”. and because you “can”… you “have to”…”

Chara on the other hand desires to go out and destroy humanity (and the Monsters, too), which brings me to my next point: The post-Genocide Pacifist Run. Chara is dead and thus lacks a physical body to do anything, so they know the only way to escape the Underground is through Frisk, the character the player controls. Have any of you ever paid attention to what Chara says after what I just put above?

"Despite this. I feel obligated to suggest. Should you choose to recreate this world once more, another path would be better suited."

Chara is suggesting the player “tries another path” and is thus manipulating them into doing the True Pacifist Run so they can go out and destroy both the Humans and the Monsters that now reign the surface.

“Chara didn’t destroy the Humans and Monsters of the surface in a post-Genocide Pacifist Run, they’re bringing justice to the player! They care about the Monsters and is thus punishing the player!”

No, it’s NOT Chara punishing the player, that’s the game itself doing this. One of Undertale’s main messages, especially the Genocide Run, is that your actions have consequences. The only thing that happens at the end of a post-Genocide Pacifist Run (or Soulless Pacifist Run) is that Chara fully possessed Frisk’s body after the player sold them their SOUL and now, with the Barrier separating the Humans from Monsters destroyed, Chara can now go out and destroy both species that live in the Surface. I mean, DAMN, Toby Fox said it himself in his Twitter when asked about the Soulless Pacifist Ending. There is absolutely NO “justice” in Chara’s side. If they were REALLY a good and pure person who loves the Monsters then, well, I’m sure they wouldn’t have to kill them just for rubbing it in the player, right?! Seriously, don’t ANY of you realise how pathetically contradictory this argument is?!

“But Chara is just a child!”

Bitch, have you ever watched two movies called “The Good Son” and “Child of Rage”? Go watch them, your argument is once again invalid. I will also mention how these two children are psychopaths. Also, the youngest arrested and condemned killers of the 20th century were brought to justice when they were both 10 and their names are Robert Thompson and Jon Venables, who kidnapped, tortured and killed 2 year-old James Bulger. So yeah, with real-life evidence, children like Chara are completely capable of being psychopathic murderers.

“Chara is the narrator of Undertale! They nicely narrate every enemy and object to you!”

No, it’s not canon. It’s never said anywhere that they are. The narrator through the ENTIRETY of Undertale is completely up to speculation. Have you ever heard of something called an “omniscient narrator”? Hell, it could be Frisk narrating stuff to you in a Neutral or Pacifist Run. It wouldn’t be that much of a stretch to say it could be the player themselves, considering the amount of 4th Wall Breaks in the game and how Flowey is aware that there’s people that watch gameplays of Undertale out there. The only pieces of narration that are clearly narrated by Chara are the ones in red in New Home in the Genocide Run (which are written in first person). This is also the very same place where Flowey talks about him to Chara the most, should I add. This argument likely exists because the narrator in question is always saying “you did <insert action here>”, in third person as if talking about someone else. Well, the same thing happens in the Genocide Run. There are TONS of entries in the Genocide Run narrated in third person.

“Papyrus is sparing you”

“You punched the dummy at full force. Feels good.”

“Glad Dummy lets you go”

“You took the Snowman Piece”

“You took the key and put it on your phone’s key-chain”

“You feel like you’re gonna have a bad time”

“You feel your sins crawling on your back”

It’s also worth noticing how darker and crueler the narrations both in first and third person get the more the Genocide Run progresses, right? It’s because the more you kill, the more you allow Chara to posses Frisk and the more they can manifest themselves.

“Chara lectures the player when the world is completely destroyed”

Yes, that is true but that still doesn’t make them good, they’re merely acknowledging the reality of the player’s actions. They sound completely cold and stoic saying those words and asking the player if they’re above consequences, which shows they’re neutral about this, not sad or bothered, not to mention it is them who destroy the world REGARDLESS of the player’s choice. I should also remind you that, right after that, the player is left with no choice but to make a literal deal with the devil (as Chara calls themselves “the demon that appears when people call its name”), giving Chara their SOUL as a deal to make them bring the world back. Chara also calls the player a “great partner” if they agree to destroy the world with them so its plausible to think that this is yet another form of manipulation.

“Chara may call themself a demon but Asriel calls himself the ‘God Of Hyperdeath!’"

Exactly. Asriel is the GOD of Hyperdeath. “Of Hyperdeath” is merely a name and a very obvious one, considering Asriel inherited his father’s trait of being terrible at naming things. However, think about this: A God is a creator or recreator, a deity, a divinity. When you look at what he says during his fight, this name makes perfect sense:

“You know, I don’t care about destroying this world anymore. After I defeat you and gain total control of the timeline, I just want to reset everything! Then we can do everything all over again!"

Asriel’s intentions are not remotely bad, even. He does not wish to harm anyone, he only wants to reset the entire timeline and redo what he and Chara did wrong, even if it means killing the protagonist to gain their Determination, for the greater good.

“Chara forgave Asriel for his betrayal!”

Dude, WHERE do people get this from?! Chara clearly DIDN’T forgive Asriel for betraying them and is clearly merciless to him at the end of the Genocide Run. They inclusively mention his betrayal when talking to the player:

“At first, I was so confused. Our plan had failed, hadn’t it?"

When Flowey is talking to Chara in New Home, they make him scared of them the moment he realizes that they would never hesitate to kill him if he got in their way, not to mention Chara is the one to make Flowey realize that his “kill or be killed” philosophy does not work, he knows Chara is much stronger than him. Hell, Chara clearly doesn’t care at all for Asriel as they, not the player, CHARA completely MUTILATES Flowey right when he reveals his true identity as Asriel after killing Asgore in one shot. Also, speaking of which, it is clearly stated on the books in the “Librarby" that the stronger the will to kill a Monster a human has, the more damage their attacks will do. One more thing worth mentioning is this parallel right here which pretty much speaks for itself:

Asriel, in the second True Lab VHS tape: Okay, <Name>, are you ready? Do your creepy face! AHHHHH!! Hee hee hee! Oh! Wait! I had the lens cap on... What!? You're not gonna do it again...? Come on, quit tricking me! Haha!

Flowey, in New Home: S-s-stop making that creepy face! This isn’t funny! You’ve got a SICK sense of humor!

The real thing that goes to show that Chara is evil is their relationship with Asriel/Flowey. Asriel was never comfortable with Chara’s plan, to the point that he cried at the thought of having to hurt or kill anyone. Flowey (who is equally evil), on the other hand, understands and even admires Chara for their murderous genocidal tendencies when he talks to them at the end of the Ruins and in New Home, not to mention Flowey only recognizes the protagonist as Chara if the player is doing the Genocide Run. It’s also worth mentioning that it was because of Chara that Flowey acquired his “kill or be killed” philosophy. Hell, Asriel even comments that Frisk and Chara are completely different from each other despite their very similar fashion choices and that he was only projecting. Hell, he’s the one who admits and recognises that Chara was never the greatest person.

Now on to something to top it all off: The Sociopath Flowey and Psychopath Chara theory. What you’re about to read now is a written adaption of a video in Portuguese explaining that Chara is a psychopath, whereas Flowey is a sociopath.

So, as you’ve probably gathered, there’s not much data about who Chara truly is but the they are just enough for us to understand their mentality and perspectives throughout the game. Chara was the first human to fall down Mount Ebott after the war that separated humans from monsters. Upon falling, they are found by Asriel, Toriel and Asgore’s biological son, and is adopted by the Dreemurr family as a family member. However, when Asgore gets awfully sick after eating a pie prepared by Chara and Asriel, Asriel feels bad about everything that happened, yet Chara LAUGHS in relation to that (I already proved your little “they were laughing away the pain” point wrong so shut the fuck up). Instead of putting “cups of butter” to make the pie, Chara uses Buttercups, poisonous golden flowers in the recipe, causing Asgore to fall horribly sick. Seeing the potency that the flowers have in Monsters, Chara starts to cook up a plan. Chara then gets terminally ill (too) and, before passing away, they ask Asriel to take them to see the golden flowers of their village in the Surface. Throughout the game, it is revealed that Chara had poisoned themself intentionally so that Asriel could absorb their SOUL and thus cross the barrier so that they could kill humans together and harvest their SOULs. So, yeah, Chara INTENTIONALLY poisons themself so that they have the chance to kill humans (which they succeed with the sole exception of Frisk that they posses depending on the ending we achieve in-game). But anyway, upon reaching the Surface, Asriel is attacked by the humans, for they have thought Asriel had attacked and killed Chara. This causes Chara’s desire to kill humans to manifest into their fusion and put it in a state of hatred but Asriel is able to resist that and let the fusion be attacked. Asriel then returns to the underground horribly wounded and both Asriel and Chara thus die. This story takes us to the story of Flowey; when Asriel died, his dust was spread across Asgore’s garden of golden flowers. Later, Alphys, doing experiments with Determination, injected the first flower that bloomed after Toriel left Asgore with Determination. The initial experiments didn’t work, which made Alphys return the flower to Asgore to be replanted in the garden. However, the flower woke up alive in the garden and thanks to Asriel’s essence from his dust in the garden, Flowey retained Asriel’s memories, but he also noticed that he din’t feel any emotions since he didn’t have a SOUL and thus was unable to feel love, joy or compassion. Those, dear readers, are all the information available about these two characters, so now let’s move on the psychological part. All of these informations affirm that both Chara and Flowey suffer from psychological problems, with Chara being a psychopath and Flowey being a sociopath. Now let’s analyse this a bit; many people assume amiss that psychopathy and sociopathy are the same but that’s wrong. Indeed, both disorders are very similar but there are a few details that set them apart so let’s see what psychopathy and sociopathy have in common, first:

Both are “antisocial personality disorders”;

Both lack empathy;

Both despise and disobey rules of social behaviour;

Both do not feel remorse or guilt;

Both are violent and hurt people;

Now that’s where things change. Differing from a sociopath, a psychopath possesses the following symptoms: The origin of their disorder is in the innate condition of their existence. According to a research made by the International Institute of Minnesota, 60% of psychopaths are psychopathic by heredity, meaning they were simply born this way. Now:

A psychopath has GREAT chances of being a nice and well-mannered person with a good professional career;

A psychopath possesses a very controlled temper and behaviour;

A psychopath is highly manipulative;

A psychopath is completely incapable of creating (real) bonds with other people;

A psychopath is generally very smart, intelligent and carefully calculates and plans their actions and risks, leaving the least amount of evidence as possible in their crimes;

Whereas a sociopath is very different. The origin of their disorder has great chances of being generated due to the environment they live in. Researches show that great part of sociopaths have become sociopathic due to their precocious institutionalisation, meaning they were NOT born this way. Now:

A sociopath has difficulty in being polite or well-mannered and generally cannot maintain themselves in a job;

A sociopath has a behaviour of loss of control that generates hate and anger;

A sociopath is impulsive and spontaneous;

A sociopath is capable of creating bonds with other people or an individual group;

A sociopath is spontaneous and thus leaves marks and evidences in their crimes;

Now it’s when we analyse how Chara and Flowey fit in those profiles, starting by Chara. Chara is a psychopath: If we analyze their story enough, we’ll see that their story is indeed based in a frenetic impulse of psychopathy. Like I said above, a psychopath is usually a well-mannered person and gets very well socially. Chara was very well-seen by the Monsters while living in the Underground, so much that they say they “filled the Underground with hope” and therefore had great capacity of interacting with others. However, when we look into the manipulation thing, Chara is an extremely manipulative character, both while living in the Underground and at the end of the Genocide Run. Their attitudes in relation to the player at the end of the Genocide Run testify that: They induce the player to erase the world and is thus manipulating them by doing exactly that. They are intelligent, they know they need you to escape to destroy and kill everyone, so they need you to do their bidding, which is exactly what happens at a potential post-Genocide Pacifist Run. The same way they manipulated Asriel: to take him to the Surface as a SOUL inside him and carry their own dead body so the humans can see and make the mistake that leads them to attack him. Chara is clearly manipulating him by doing that. Chara also does not possess sympathy or empathy for anyone; When Asgore eats the poisoned pie and gets sick, Chara sadistically laughs at what happened and thus does not feel remorse before that. Another example of Chara’s lack of empathy towards anyone is how they didn’t care for how clearly uncomfortable Asriel was with their plan, they literally have to convince him through guilt-tripping and manipulation when he’s CRYING to go along with their plan:

Asriel (fourth True Lab VHS tape): I... I don't like this idea, <Name>. Wh.. what? N-no, I'm not... ... big kids don't cry. Yeah, you're right. No! I'd never doubt you, <Name>. Never! Y... yeah! We'll be strong! We'll free everyone. I'll go get the flowers.

This tape really goes to show how Chara clearly despises weakness, chastising Asriel for being “weak" and only cares about gaining more power, not caring a thing in the world on how other people feel. Remembering that Chara does all of this calculatedly, planning everything step-by-step, the same way a psychopath would do. Now, it is said by Asriel that Chara “hated humanity” and people just assume that this somehow means that they are actually depressed and abused and jumped on Mt. Ebott as an attempt of suicide, right? Well, that’s unfortunately NOT the case. The real reason why Chara “hated humanity and felt very strongly about it” is NEVER stated out loud and Asriel even goes to say that Chara never said why they felt this way. That’s right, Chara has no reason to hate humanity, they do what they do because they want to and because they LIKE hurting and killing. Like I said above, psychopaths are born psychopaths; They just want people to die and suffer by their hands and they leave it as less evident as possible, to the point of using Frisk as a physical vessel for them to kill Monsters and they only reveal their true colors and their plan to erase the timeline at the very end of the Genocide Run. Not to mention the way they fell down Mount Ebott is a bit suspicious to me. The intro of the game shows them tripping on a vine then falling on the hole leading to the Underground so it isn’t really a stretch to say that they’ve been lying to Asriel to gain his sympathy (another form of manipulation). Now on to Flowey. Flowey is a bit more different. Yes, Flowey also has the very same destructive impulses to destroy everything and everyone, but differing from Chara, his attitudes and motives to do that are different. First off, Flowey doesn’t have that much of a good capacity to interact with other monsters, as his explosive temper and his urge to attack everything he comes across turn Flowey VERY distanced from the others. Indeed, Flowey usually resides in an place that’s excluded from the Monster society, the Ruins. Flowey also isn’t very polite, his way of speaking is very different from the others. His signature “Howdy!” is southern slang, the way country people speak, whereas Chara, should I also add, politely greets the player with “Greetings”, a very formal way of saying hello. All of Flowey’s explosive behavior and lack of control towards Frisk, especially at the beginning of the game, shows that he doesn’t calculate his attitudes or his actions and is impulsive, the same way a sociopath acts. Also differing from Chara, Flowey has and had bonds, with Papyrus and possibly many others after he found out about his power to reset, save and load and, of course, with Chara. Flowey constantly feels like he has to do Chara’s bidding and even apologises to them at one point, showing that he is capable of bonding with someone, different from a psychopath. Flowey’s acts of violence are also very clear; he doesn’t do it all in secret like Chara does, he shows it in your face that he is indeed an antagonist. Who else makes crimes leaving marks behind? A sociopath, obviously. And surely, Flowey wasn’t always a sociopath, he became one, he is what Asriel became after being manipulated by Chara, Chara made him a sociopath (if not the boredom he felt after seeing all the Underground has to offer but you get my point). Indeed, Flowey/Asriel only turns evil and sociopathic due to the manipulative influences of Chara, Chara made him this way, Chara was the starting point for Flowey to start having those attitudes of violence in the game. To sum it all up: Chara was born a psychopath, as they have no reason to hate humanity, and Flowey is a sociopath because he was manipulated by Chara as Asriel. He doesn’t do what he does because he wants to, he only wants to satisfy Chara.

Conclusion (Chara=The Player/Character Analysis): Now, it is indeed a bit difficult to explain this line of thinking. Every RPG has in its essence killing and defeating your enemies, getting stronger, winning new equipments, gaining experience to evolve in levels and going to face new challenges. But that’s different in Undertale. This game values every single character it has, from simple enemies to NPCs, killing and defeating is not a necessity. Indeed, the more you kill, the worse your (most precisely Neutral) ending becomes. It really goes to show how being stronger than everyone else doesn’t necessarily make you better than anyone else, and in Undertale, the exact opposite happens, it makes you the worse. It completely goes against the idea that the more you kill, the better you are, without caring about anyone else, without the least bit of remorse, being the very best at every cost even if it means killing everyone around you. Chara is never met in person at all in every other route of Undertale besides the Genocide Run, and that’s because every EXP and every LV you gain gives them power, thus causing them to grow stronger and mentally posses Frisk. Why do you think Chara is the embodiment of the feeling you get every time your statuses increase? Why do you think you’re supposed to name them after yourself as the player (as stated by Toby Fox himself)? That's because completing a Genocide Run would be just like completing an RPG like any other and Chara is that feeling we have inside of us every time we gain more power, when we feel nothing upon seeing people get hurt, upon seeing the news of terrible things happening in the world and feeling nothing at all. They’re that evil voice whispering “kill them, you have the power” when we’re clutching a knife in our hands just about to cause pain and suffering for those who hurt you instead of feeling empathy and learning to forgive. Have you noticed how Chara is the only character in the entire game that we don’t fight? It's because Chara, being the feeling of only wanting more power and feeling no empathy for others at all, can only be defeated by doing good to others, by forgiving, by making friends and not using or manipulating them into doing what only YOU want them to do. Chara only resurrects at the very end of the Genocide Run, when everything and everybody are truly destroyed and only for wanting more power, they tell you that your “human SOUL” and your “Determination" are what brought them back to life, meaning that, upon wanting to become more powerful, you as the player, acquired their traits. HP. ATTACK. GOLD. DEFENCE. EXP. LV. Every time time a number increases, that feeling, that's Chara. With your guidance, Chara has finally resurrected, they could have never done this without you and have finally realised why they’re back to life: power, and that’s exactly what Chara represents. As that old saying says: “Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely”. The player needs an equal, a representative in-game to represent their thirst and lust for power, their want to be the best at every cost and to kill everyone in their way if needed. Chara is a separate entity that lives in all of us, our thirst and lust for power that, if one lets it grow, can destroy worlds regardless of one’s choice, because YOU are never in control. Chara takes the game's control away from the player more and more as the Genocide Run progresses and, towards its end, more and more and more Monsters do not recognise Frisk as human anymore. That is because, as you kill, you literally strip yourself of your humanity. Is it really you in control of your actions, or your greed? Are you really the one making the rules, or your selfishness? Is there really anything more than just your ego and your futility that keeps you going? Are you leaving good things to the people around you or are you just an asshole wishing to manipulate everyone and have an easy life? Are you a true true friend or do you manipulate your friends and steal their attention, their empathy and sympathy with lies just so they can all cater to your needs and whims? In other words, you inner Chara? Soulless monster, you have no excuses to say you haven’t been warned, for when there is nothing nor nobody around you, do not complain that you did not know where you were going to.

I am open to discussions and will ignore flames.