#so its kinda difficult to work on shit from like. several months ago | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sithisreadingcorner · 1 year ago

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Hi Sithi, how are you ? I'm Sab :) 🦆 You did a reading few years ago which was pretty accurate (omg time flies 😭😭) so I'm here today to ask you if I may have one please. My dob is still 11/10/1995. I don't have a particular question however I'm seeking a guidance regarding my upcoming year if you don't mind. Thank you for it and I do wish you a nice day 👀👁️

Hello Sab and welcome back! Thank you im good, I hope the same for you as well Time really flies huh?! Im so glad that the reading was helpful back then, I do remember it. One of the first ones on the blog. You know what is funny... I get lawyers, especially those who are just about to finish studies/start their career, literally all the time. An almost disproportionate amount. Maybe it's my fate to help budding lawyers along the way 😂

Although you technically sent this for September, since your birthday is coming up soon I thought I would make this more detailed than usual as an early gift 🥰

queen of swords. deconsecration wheel of fortune. death (sowing) XIII. DEATH "Death is the card of becoming. It signifies an imminent and difficult transition – the conclusion of one phase of life and the beginning of another. Inevitably, something gets lost during the transformation, but something else will rise and take its place." IDIOT: "Permanently reduce your intelligence by 1d4+1. You can draw one additional card beyond your declared draws." [Practice the art of persuasion. Enjoy rigorous intellectual discourse.] RHETORIC

Based on the cards, what I think is that you are kinda at a point in life right now where you are more or less satisfied with how things are going, or at least you are complacent about it. Not everything is going the best way it could, but your place either feels comfortable, or you feel like it would be too much work to get them in order, so you just kinda let them be as they are. You are in a maintenance mode, basically. And this is generally speaking completely okay, you don't have to do literally the most every day of every month. But it would be really good for you right now to "tighten the ship" so to speak.

There will be some really big changes coming into your future, that I interpret as immensely positive, but they are also quite drastic and you can only really take advantage of them if you are prepared for them beforehand. I think several areas of your life could benefit from a more organized approach, but that is probably a lot to change at once and it's my understanding that the area where this would benefit you the most is at work (though I'm not completely sure, so if you feel like this resonates differently you are probably right). Let me say an example. I don't know if THIS WILL happen but I feel like it's at least a realistic example of the kind of thing that MAY happen. Your boss is considering promoting someone at work to an extremely advantageous position, and they are thinking between you and another person, trying to decide. You would be the preferred candidate, and you WOULD be great for this position in theory, but your boss would like you to demonstrate that you have the organizational skills for such a leadership position as well. They dont tell you that though directly, they just kinda keep an eye on you, and you are just kinda coasting by at work at this moment, just straight up bing chilling. And to be honest, if you got the position today, you wouldn't be prepared for it either. So the other person gets promoted, and you will probably never even know that you were considered. But if you got your shit together a little, even if it's not perfect, your boss could see that you are trying and improving, and would eventually choose you.

Now, mind, I still want you to have a healthy relationship with your job situation, and get enough rest, and so on. What you need to do, is work smarter, not harder. Try to get your things in order, and make them more efficient. Change your routine today, and you will have plenty of time to get used to it and grow from it. The only thing that there is to it is that you gotta sow those seeds today so that you can enjoy the harvest at a later time. I don't think I can say anything more specific than that, but I will say one thing. The changes, though they will be drastic, what they will NOT be, is sudden. I think that the signs are gonna be there well beforehand, even if subtle. So keep your eyes peeled, pay attention to details, and especially to those things that people hint at but don't say. The information you gain will be quite helpful to you later. 👀

september readings (7 of 8)

tips? 💗

#tarot #txt #alleymans tarot #deck of many things #physiologus of attic fantoms

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moririki · 3 years ago

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⤷ A BLOODSTAINED CONFESSION

RENGOKU KYOJURO X READER -> 3.6K you patch up your fellow hashira after the hardest fight of your lives

REQUEST -> ✰ CONTAINS -> MUGEN TRAIN SPOILERS like before the cut and everything, mentions of blood + gore, so kinda angsty but definitely a fluffy ass ending, reader is a hashira but it's left ambiguous as to what element you are👍, i watched the movie two months ago so my recollection of dialogue and plot may be *slightly* off, near-death experience, idk how to write combat so i just... didn’t, reader lowkey thirsts over rengoku's back muscles and shit because why tf not, idk how injuries work aaaa MORI'S THOUGHTS -> rengoku my beloved,,, he deserves the world,, i think i should have made this less angsty im SORRY (i rlly heard "extra fluffy" and it just went 👩🏻➡️ straight through my head huh) also i bet you guys missed me and my late-ass posting <3 but here i am!! for now!! yeahhhh!! i feel like the writing in this got a little repetitive so i apologise for that

APPARENTLY, THE DESTRUCTION OF AN ENTIRE TRAIN wasn't enough to end this mission. even with one lower six demon defeated, another much stronger one had replaced it. the arrival of akaza was a significant turning point in the battle, and one that you cursed yourself for missing.

you should have known that this mission would he more dangerous than expected when both you and rengoku had been deployed to the train, alongside three rookies. you should have known better than to let rengoku convince you to stay back and help evacuate rather than let him handle it alone.

he had been so full of confidence- squeezing your hand firmly before rushing off, leaving you feeling slightly lightheaded from the brief contact of his warm palm. you should have wished him luck, told him to be careful, anything, but he was gone before you had the chance.

you made quick work of evacuating the passengers of the derailed train, making sure that they were all confirmed to be outside of the carriages before entrusting their safety to zenitsu and nezuko. it was around when you had carried out the last passenger that you felt the ground rumble beneath your feet, coming from the other side of the embankment that you were currently placed at.

before you gave yourself time to really think things through, you were shouting instructions to the pair of demon slayers and dashing off towards the source of the noise, hand readily placed on your sword. that was the direction that rengoku ran is all that went through your mind.

the scene that you found yourself facing did little to quell your fears. you reached two bodies first, recognising them as the hapless figures of inosuke and tanjiro. from a glance you could see the extent of their injuries, with the latter laying on the ground barely conscious. the boar-headed one could only stare at the fight happening several metres away, his shoulders slumped in defeat and swords hanging by his sides.

“there’s no opening,” he only whispered, barely audible. that much was true. even you had difficulty keeping up with the movements of rengoku and the demon that he was fighting. the fact that it had already been several minutes and that there was no clear advantage concerned you, and you unsheathed your sword.

“you two stay put, and learn what it means to be a hashira, alright?” you tried offering a brilliant smile, much like you had seen the flame hashira do so many times, but you hoped that yours didn't fall flat. from the slight relief shown on tanjiro’s worn face, though, you took that as a good sign.

without wasting another second, you rushed towards rengoku and the demon, assessing their movements. inosuke wasn’t joking when he said there wasn’t any opening, their movements equally matched. you took the chance and struck when rengoku managed to get the demon to stumble back. bringing your sword down in a vertical strike, you severed one of its arms, before taking a cursory glance back at rengoku to make sure that he was alright.

your wound did little to hinder the demon, as it simply chuckled before regrowing its limb.

“oh? another hashira? don’t tell me you think that this is a fair match,” the demon sneered as you held your sword in front of you, still nervously eyeing the blood that was beginning to drip at rengoku’s feet. it amazed you as to how he was still standing, let alone also ready to keep fighting, but you weren’t going to stop him with that amount of determination in his eyes.

“i wouldn’t say that you appearing after we had to fight an entire train was fair either, but here we are,” you glared at the demon, adjusting the grip on your sword.

“think you can hold on a little longer?” you asked rengoku, still facing the demon.

“always.” you could picture the steadfast smile on his face, lending you his strength whenever you needed it. you took a deep breath, starting your total concentration breathing and launching off of your foot, propelling yourself forwards.

you heard rengoku's footsteps right behind you, dependable as ever. when you swung your sword and sliced through, you knew that the flame hashira was there to follow through with a co-ordinated attack.

despite your best efforts, the upper six demon lived up to its status and provided to be more than a challenge for even both you and rengoku fighting him simultaneously. in fact, akaza had even managed to gain the upper hand a few times, leaving you with a cracked rib that was making it more difficult to focus and control your breathing.

but you and rengoku's big break arrived in the form of a rising sun that leeched itself into your surroundings. the glow was nothing but welcomed by you, though your demon opponent let fear flicker across its face for the first time this night as it turned foot and fled. the invisible adrenaline-fuelled strings that held you up snapped, and you felt the strength from your body sap, too spent to gove chase to akaza.

the bitter taste of defeat crushed you, numbing your senses as you barely heard the cries of tanjiro as he yelled at the retreating figure of akaza. you turned to your fellow yashira, eyes widening and senses returning as you took in the way he had slumped to the floor, head bowed as he kneeled.

"no, don't you dare," you mumbled, dropping to your knees too in front of him. panic gave your limbs a new purpose as your hands stretched out in front of you, seeking out the warmth rengoku still emitted even when mortally wounded.

the most pressing matter was the dark stain of blood that gave his uniform an unnatural sheen that was still spreading. you pressed a hand to the source of it, a large gash across his stomach that was much too deep for your liking. your other hand came to rest on his face, tilting his head up to look at you for any sort of good sign to cling onto.

"you better stay alive!" your voice was shrill, harsher than you wanted it to be, but those were factors you could hardly control more than the blood oozing from rengoku's stomach. you could see how unfocused his eyes were, and how heavy his head was when only being propped up by the waning strength in your hand. your own injuries had been forgotten, cast aside in favour for you to fear for the flame hashira's life.

and still, despite everything, the man still smiled. the blood covering half his face did little to mar its radiance. rengoku raised a shaking, bloody hand of his own, letting it fall heavy against your own as you felt your hold begin to slip.

"you're hurt too, you know." his words were more of a shaky exhale, though you heard it all the same. you felt a smile slip onto yours too as rengoku proved to still be so vigilant in the wellbeing of others.

"you don't need to remind me, shut up and save your energy," you whispered back. you didn't trust yourself to speak any louder in fear of your voice cracking.

"but.. i have to tell you something." the insistence in his eyes was back, burning into you so mich that you couldn't help but lean closer, trying to ease his burden of being audible.

"quit talking like you're dying." you were practically whispering into his ear, close enough to feel the rasp of his breath as he laughed, holding your hand tighter. his other hand came up to your own face, rough thumb brushing against the skin underneath your eye, wiping away a tear you never realised had tracked its way there.

"let me bandage you up." your voice may not have shook, but your hands definitely did as you disentangled them from rengoku's hold, urging him to put pressure on his wound while your fingers found purchase on the hem of your uniform and ripped off a strip of it. it was barely enough to cover his injury but you managed to wrap the severed cloth around his middle a few times, tying it tight and hoping that it was enough to stop the bleeding.

"just.. stay with me until backup comes, alright? you've got tell me something once we get out of here, remember?" rengoku nodded into your palm, smiling at your words as his eyelids fluttered shut. but you were close enough to still feel that he was warm, to feel the slight rise and fall of his chest as he managed to still breathe, and that gave you some comfort.

minutes felt like hours when you had to talk to fill the gap. whether it was to give rengoku something that tethered him to this mortal realm, or a way for you to distract yourself from your own pain, you onew that you would both have to tough it out a little longer, just until the others arrived.

"you know, i've always admired you." you were surprised at both his words and how clear rengoku's voice sounded. your grip on his hand tightened a little, and you leaned towards him so that your forehead pressed against his.

"this is hardly the time to say something like that, kyojuro." you tried not to laugh, the pain of your ribs starting to edge back in as the adrenaline left your body as the sun soaked your bodies.

"i just wanted you to know." you would have responded to the man if it weren't for the shouts that became all too clear. help was here, and everything was going to be okay now.

you didn't want to let rengoku out of your sight, but many insistent hands prised his body from your grip, and with barely the strength to speak there was little that you could do about it except succumb to the pain of your wounds and finally fall unconscious.

recovery was never an aspect of fighting that you looked forward to. when you finally came to, there were a few gripping moments of panic when you asked a nurse if rengoku was here, if he was alive. you had been assured that he was before the pain and medication kicked in again for a fitful sleep as your body healed.

but no matter how you were pressed back into bed, into the constraints of sleep, you never really felt like you were at rest. your mind was still racing to places your body couldn't as it pieced together the events just before you got hospitalised.

when you could finally get up without keeling over, you were stumboing your way through the hallways as stealthily as possible, leaning on walls for support and peering into rooms as you walked past, in search of your fellow hashira. your cards of luck had lined up when you stumbled upon his sleeping figure less than three rooms down from yours.

he looked a lot cleaner, still donning a serene smile even when unconscious and you felt the panic gripping your body loosen its hold. the throb of your most likely broken ribs was enough of an edge to keep you awake, and you made your way over to rengoku's bedside.

there was a convenient chair placed next to him, and you tried not to grunt in pain as you sat down in it. rengoku didn't even stir at your approach, and you resigned yourself to sitting there, studying his figure and resisting the urge to check whether he was actually breathing or not. if you focused enough, you saw the subtlest rise and fall of his chest, just enough to qualm your fears.

your concentration was broken as you heard the sliding door open again, and the hesitant voice of a nurse breaking your intense silence.

"ah, i'm sorry to interrupt but i need to change rengoku's bandages." to prove her point, the nurse raised her arm to emphasise the strips of fabric held by them. you stood up hastily, sending a cursory glance back at the still-sleeping form of rengoku.

like all matters regarding the flame hashira, you found your mouth and body working a little faster than your brain.

"it's alright, i can change them for you. i'm sure that you have plenty of other patients to tend to." the nurse nodded, though she still looked hesitant to hand you the bandages. you gave her a reassuring smile, stretching out your hand to take them. "i've had plenty of experience with this, don't worry."

the nurse appeared relieved, giving you a quick thanks before exiting and letting the door click shut behind her.

you turned your attention back to rengoku's sleeping figure only to watch him crack a single amber eye open and give you an almost sheepish smile. you couldn't help the flooding sensation of relief that drenched your bones, and you returned his gesture.

"i'm glad to see that you're alright." rengoku's eyes never left yours, and you felt yourself grow hot underneath his gaze.

"glad to see you too." you offered a hand, helping rengoku shuffle further up the bed with minimal effort on your side. despite the bandages covering a large expanse of his upper body, his grip on your hand was still stable and you bit back the fond smile threatening to bloom on your face.

luckily for you, rengoku seemed to get the message that he needed to get shirtless without you asking him, which saved you a whole lot of embarrassment. you weren't confident in your ability to look him in the eye and ask him to strip without blushing, though you did exactly that as your eyes raked over his bare skin.

littered with scars and covering taut muscle, it was hard not to let your eyes wander down his form. from the look on rengoku's face, he looked well aware of the effect that he had on you and fixing you with a practically imperceptible smirk. you were quick to ask him to turn around, and he obliged as quickly as someone with broken and bruised bones could manage.

his back was the same story, with broad shoulders and defined shoulderblades that had muscle twitching without you touching it. you sucked in a breath, way too audible for your liking, and tried not to let your hand stretch out to run your fingers down the expanse of his back. you were here to help treat him, not indulge in some fantasy of yours.

your mindset snapped back to professionalism as you grabbed hold of the fresh bandages, opting to put them on after you removed the old ones. while there was no sign of infection, you still grimaced at the bloody sight of rengoku's major wound. you tried not to show how much it had upset you, both now and in the moment, and your attention turned to your slightly trembling fingers.

you were careful to avoid where his skin was obviously discoloured from bruising, not wanting to cause him any unnecessary pain. he was warm to the touch, enough to invite you in with some false sense of confort before burning you alive. the way his back muscles jumped at your touch did little to help your concentration, but you shouldered on.

your mingld escaped you, insisting on recounting those painful minutes where rengoku was vpeeding out on the battlefield. there was a particular focus on his insistence to tell you something, and you bit your lip. surely, he would ask you at some point from now.

"how are your ribs?" rengoku's voice cut through the silence, its rasping edge acting as evidence of hiw soundly he had been sleeping earlier. while it wasn't the question you wanted him to ask you, you were never one to turn down conversation. especially from him.

"worry about yourself, kyojuro. i'm fine." your appliance of the fresh bandage meant that you would now have to be stood in front of him, a development that had your face flaming from the close proximity. silence set in, and all that distracted you from the rise and fall of his stomach was his breath tickling the sensitive skin of your neck. your eyes flickered towards the ceiling, relying on your hands to guide yourself instead.

you dared to glance down and saw rengoku’s eyes fixed on your face already. there was something about his softened features and the look in his eyes that had you scrambling to stare at the blank ceiling again. as much as you would like to retreat at every first sign if danger or confrontation, you knew that you woukd have to talk to him soon, whether it was you or him who brought up the conversation topic from that day.

taking a deep breath, you perched yourself on the edge of rengoku's bed, still maintaining a professional amount of distance from him. still close enough to spot how his smile brightens when you choose to stay. you glanced down at your fingers, twisting knots into themselves as they were placed in your lap. you almost cursed and placed them underneath you to stop that, but instead you fixed your gaze on the flame hashira's ever-present smile.

"do you remember when you said you had to tell me something? right after akaza?" rengoku straightened up a little, nodding. you gave a cursory glance to the bandages safely wrapped around him, and winced as you remembered how much blood had left him that day.

as if he could tell what you were thinking, rengoku reached forward and took your hand in his. you sucked in a breath at the sensation of his calloused hands, wincing as your ribs ached in protest. you couldn’t bring yourself to break his stare as your fingers intertwined, and rengoku brought you slightly closer to him. the tension was palpable, and you squeezed his hand in an attempt to alleviate some of it.

“what did you want to tell me, kyojuro?” you were still closing the distance between the two of you, voice barely above a whisper because there was no need to talk any louder for him to hear you. everything about him drew you closer, and the thought of pulling away never crossed your mind. you finally stopped, inches away, staring at him expectantly.

“well, there was a chance that i was going to die that day, so i was going to be selfish and tell you that i love you."

it amazed you how he could say that with such confidence when that statement had effectively swept you off of your feet. you were well aware that you looked more than caught off guard- your eyes had widened, and your mouth probably hung open from shock. that was nothing to stop rengoku’s words, though. if anything, it only encouraged him to keep going.

"and when i said that i admire you, i meant it. i admire your strength and how willing you are to help others. i admire you when it's sunset and you're laughing and i admire the way your hands feel, especially here." he guided your hand to his face, letting it cradle his cheek as he rested his own hand at your wrist, not willing to let go. you were sinking into the warmth of his body, letting his borrowed strength keep you upright.

“and most of all, i admire you because i find your beauty striking in everything that you do.” you were silent as rengoku’s eyes searched your own, watching as his lips split as he laughed. “you’re crying again.” you raised your other hand to your cheekbone, feeling the liquid there that began its trek down the planes of your face. you wiped them away with the back of your hand, keeping yourself anchored to rengoku as you curled your fingers around his own.

you felt so light that you could float away, and you couldn’t help but laugh and grin as you fully processed the confession of the man lying underneath you. tears still rolled down your cheeks, and you couldn’t help the bittersweet pang as you remembered exactly why he was here recovering.

“you really scared me back there, you know?”

“it wasn’t my intention.” you laughed through your sniffle, feeling his warm hand trace patterns on the back of yours. you shuffled forwards and, as best as your shared injuries allowed it, you gave rengoku a hug. while your arms were around his neck, his rested squarely on your lower back, and it was better than anything else you could imagine.

you pulled away, relinquishing the comfort of his arms in favour of looking him in the eye as you prepared what to say next. admittedly, it was a lot easier when you knew how the other person felt about you.

“you know i admire you too, rengoku, and i love you. so much.” joy rewrote itself within his eyes, and they almost glowed with how intense his emotions were after you uttered those words.

“you do?”

your yes came out as a barely audible breath before you were being snagged forwards by him again. you practically crashed against his lips, but you welcomed the sensation, pulling yourself closer to him and settling on his lap.

you sighed into the searing kiss, only truly appreciating his warmth now as you felt it spread through you. you kissed him back intensely, ignoring the dull ache of your ribs to chase the addictive feeling that you only got around him.

around the person who loved you back.

take a look at the menu - ,, ⛩ ·˚ ༘ ꒱

#moririki‧₊˚✩彡.🧺#100 followers event!‧₊˚✩彡.📦#x reader #demon slayer #kny #kimetsu no yaiba #rengoku x reader #rengoku kyojuro x reader #rengoku fluff #rengoku kyojuro fluff #demon slayer fluff #demon slayer imagines #rengoku imagines #rengoku kyojuro imagine #rengoku #rengoku kyojuro #fluff‧₊˚✩彡.🕯#event‧₊˚✩彡.📦

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bonny-kookoo · 4 years ago

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Lavender Love (JJK x Reader) 💐💜🔞

🦋 Pairing: Florist!Jeon Jungkook x Mute!Reader

🦋 Genre: Florist!AU, Fluff, Strangers to Lovers AU, smut

• Selective mutism : a severe anxiety disorder where a person is unable to speak in certain social situations, such as with classmates at school or to relatives they do not see very often. It usually starts during childhood and, if left untreated, can persist into adulthood.

🦋 Warnings: mentions of past trauma (no mentions of what exactly), anxiety attack, it’s not romanticized in this so it’s no ‘hero in shining armor knows what to do’ kinda thing, mentions of vomiting and overall just a very uncomfortable situation, Jungkook is actually kinda lost, mutual pining, awkward reader, very very VERY soft smut, like Jesus Christ it’s so sweet, mentions of therapy, hopeless romantic kook, he researched so much just so he can help :(, protective Kook!

🦋 Summary: words only hurt people around you, so when you meet this kind florist while picking up your friends order, you swear to yourself to never speak a word to him. He however, seems to have different plans.

(Again, I want to point out that anxiety attacks are a real thing, and hardly ever ‘just pass’. If you’re uncomfortable with these things, please skip this fic as it is a major part of the story. Everyone experiences these things differently, things depicted in this are personal experiences. If you think you have problems like this, please seek professional help. You’re not broken, you maybe just need a little hand to guide you back on track. Stay safe everyone 💕)

This is a oneshot! If you have any asks, Ideas, or drabble requests for this universe, throw them my way!

You don't remember the last word you spoke to a stranger.

It's probably hidden somewhere, and you'd find it if you really searched for it, however, you didn't really crave to be remembered about what happened afterwards. It didn't matter these days anyways.

You don't remember your school days.

Again, these memories are there, you know it. Yet you've turned them around like a picture hanging on a wall, neatly framing an incident that scarred you to the point of seemingly no return. It didn't matter these days anyways.

You pull your facemask a bit as you waited at the red light, folded paper in your hand, which was hidden in the front pocket of your sweater. People around you didn't really look at you, not caring, and you favored it greatly. You felt your fingers get clammy however, the closer you got to the corner store. Hopefully Miss Jung was there; she knew your mother, and didn't really mention your habit of silence much. Hopefully.

But the closer you got, the more you felt your skin grow cold.

That was not miss Jung.

You desperately wanted to text Yoongi, telling him that you couldn't pick up his order, but he was sick, he needed someone to do it, and you knew you could do it- you had to start somewhere. Your therapist had praised you last month so greatly, telling you how good you were getting at conversing, even if it was just through text or post it notes- it was more than you did a few years ago. But your feet slowed down, hands beginning to shake. You stood against the wall near the entrance, evening out your breathing as you tried to ground yourself again.

You could do this.

Entering the store, familiar bell ringing, you felt a bit more calm as the scent of the various flowers filled your nose. You'd often stayed under the counter when Miss Jung had been working when you were young, her presence calming to you as she didn't care about your 'issues' as others had called it. She always let you make flower crowns and tiny rings, showing you what every one of them meant, uncaring that you never answered her. She always said your smile was enough.

"Hello! How can I help you?" He asked in a friendly manner. His voice was melodic, probably nice to listen to whenever he talked away, making you slightly jealous. Your own was weak, fragile from lack of use. He smiled at you as you hesitantly walked forwards, unfolding the note Yoongi had written and placing it down in front of him, making him pick it up, reading it. "Oh? Lazy gramps can't pick them up himself?" He chuckled, and you wanted to disagree, yet you stopped the thought while it formed. "Ah, I'll get them for you, but are you sure you can carry them all yourself? There's multiple boxes, and eh-" He began, grinning before picking at his skin on his jaw. "-not to be mean but you're kinda short." He said, and your eyes widened. You shook your head, and he leaned his to the side. "No? No what?" He asked, and you began to grow uncomfortable. Your gaze shifted towards the note, pointing towards it, then at yourself, before you nodded. "I eh.." He trailed off, before he smiled encouragingly. "Ah, you're shy? Don't be, I don't bite!" He playfully said, and you could feel the tears prick at the backs of your eyes.

It was unfair really. You wished you could be more open, tell him all you wanted to say, be just as confident as he was being- yet here you were, confusing the guy to no ends just because you couldn't open your mouth. It was pathetic, really, and before you knew you felt the tears gather. You were growing frustrated, hands growing clammy as you tightened them into fists, breathing becoming uneven as you desperately tried to calm yourself. "Ah- you're okay? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-" He tried, hand on your shoulder not helping one bit. He was now confused, maybe even scared, and it was your fault. Why were you being so difficult? Why couldn't you just tell him like every other normal person could? Oh yeah, because you weren't. You were absolutely fucked up, useless for society, not even able to work a proper job-

"Y/N?" The voice sounded dull, as if someone held their hands over your ears, the rushing of your own blood drowning out everything else as your hands and feet became rigid, frozen in place by the overflow of oxygen. "Jungkook dear, please give her space- Y/N sweetheart, can you hear me?" You knew she was talking, but her voice wasn't reaching you at all as the tears fell, sobs wrenching your gut to the point of feeling sick. "Oh sweetheart, come on, quick-" She hurried, unnoticed by you helping your locked body outside through the backdoor with Jungkooks help, who had a worried look on his face as he watched the scene unfold. "Jungkook dear, can you get me a bucket real quick?" He nodded, dashing off to clumsily get a small water bucket, cursing as he knocks down several others, glad that there wasn't another costumer. He got back just in time for Miss Jung to manage to hold the purple plastic container underneath your face as your body shook, bringing back up whatever you'd eaten in its absolute frenzy. "Shh, its okay.." She hummed, before addressing the boy again. "Can you cut some lavender please? A branch should be enough." She asked, as he nodded again, eyes barely leaving your figure. Was that his fault? What did he do wrong? "Jungkook." Miss Jung said to knock him back to reality, as he nodded, walking towards the several flowers as he took out the gardening scissors from his apron, cutting two small branches instead of one for good measure.

When he walked back outside the backdoor, you'd already laid on your side, Miss Jung carefully running her hand over your back as you seemed to still have issues breathing properly, sobs still present as you choked on air. He wordlessly gave his boss what she'd asked for, as he watched her rub the flowers between her hands, the scent filling your nose slowly. It helped after a moment, slowly calming your senses back down, exchanging your now returning sense of hearing and vision with a raging headache. "I'm so sorry I-" He began, but miss Jung sent him a look, shaking her head. She'd just managed to bring you back, she didn't need to throw you back into the circle again.

"Jungkook, can you go help the costumers please?" She asked as she heard the bell, and he hesitantly nodded, before returning.

Well, this ended well.

The next day, Yoongi had you by his side as he stepped inside the flower shop. "Hel- Ah! You!" Jungkook exclaimed, making you shrink in on yourself, readying yourself for whatever he had to say. Yoongi however, voice raspy from his cold, cut him off.

"Yah you idiot, can you ever just do what you're told?" He exclaimed, as Jungkook scratched the back of his neck, fluffy hair falling a bit to the side from the movement. "You got my shit?" He asked, and you gently pulled at his sleeve, a sign that he should at least stop cursing. "Sorry." He mumbled down to you as Jungkook watched the silent exchange with interest. Yoongi coughed, snapping the younger boy back to his senses as he walked to the back, coming back with two boxes. "Thanks." Yoongi simply answered, holding both boxes even though he could see the question in your eyes. You both got ready to leave, as Jungkook stopped you.

"Wait!" He said, rummaging around underneath the counter before he pulled out a tiny envelope, wrapped with a purple ribbon, holding it out to you. "As uhm.. a sorry. For yesterday. I didn't know." He offered, and you took it, nodding. So now he knew. Great. He simply waved, as Yoongi bumped you with his elbow, signaling you to go.

In the car, the older boy suddenly sniffed. "Did he pack the wrong flowers or why does it smell so much like lavender?" He asked, and you shrugged, before remembering the gift. Opening the ribbon, you found a small sheer bag, dried seeds of lavender inside, as well as a note.

'Miss Jung said, writing is easier. So if I didn't screw up yesterday, text me? :) '

"That fucker!" Yoongi laughed before coughing again, making you smile a bit. What exactly was that supposed to mean?

It meant exactly what he said. He genuinely started to reach out to you after you'd texted him your number, sending you random pictures of bouquets he did during the day, of scenery he encountered on his way to or off work, memes, or simply asking you how your day was. He slowly found out more and more about you, never really asking why you didn't speak- because the more he began to unravel your personality, the less he cared about that. He found out that you liked sports, you played in a soccer team, and worked as an online tech support from home. He thought of it as absolutely the coolest thing ever, even asking to see a game of yours if you'd let him.

Which had led to this moment.

Jungkook was sitting down, several girls side-eyeing him as they wondered why he was there. His dark attire and several piercings, as well as the ink painting his arm that he'd exposed due to the heat as he'd rolled up the sleeves of his sweater completely covering up the fact that he actually worked with delicate things such as tiny flowers, able to make the best flower crowns of all time. He denied their request to sit with them, texting you instead that he was there, and where he sat. He watched as you read his message before looking up, finding him as he grinned, waving. You meekly waved back, shy smile on your lips as he heard the whispers from his side. He gave them a look to shut them up, before leaning forward, eager to see you in action.

He was mesmerized as he saw you run, every step you took seemingly perfectly timed and placed. You were the shortest one out of your team, but that did not put you at a disadvantage at all it seemed; you ducked under another player trying to push you almost expertly, making him jump up and push his fist into the air in victory as you scored.

When you were done with your game, he'd already walked down the stairs, meeting you as you smiled at his figure, a bit taken aback by his choice of clothing. He always made sure to cover up his tattoos in the flowershop, Miss Jung not too fond of him scaring away costumers who had a more traditional view on things. He held up his hand before lowering it a bit for you to properly hit it in a high five, internally beaming at the fact that you'd slowly grown more comfortable with him. He carried your bag for you, shaking away his stray strands of hair that had fallen into his face from the slight wind. "Ah, here." He remembered, giving you your facemask back, remembering that you always liked to wear it so people thought you were maybe sick and just didn't talk because of that. But after months with him; you didn't need it anymore. So you simply took it from him, putting it into your pocket. His eyes widened a bit but he smiled afterwards, actually growing a bit shy.

And he almost tripped over his own feet as he felt your tiny hand grab his to hold.

"Oh Y/N! Jungkook is already changing. He said you're both going on a date?" Miss Jung winked at you, making you look down shyly, fingers pulling at the hem of your skirt a bit as you nodded. He'd asked you out a few days ago, immediately replying that you could also just stay at his or your place, and that you didn't have to go out. You'd thanked him for it, and you both decided to simply get a shit ton of junk food to take home to his place, planning on watching a short movie and maybe playing some video games after. "I'm happy. He's a good guy, but don't tell him I said that, his ego is too inflated already, that poor boy!" She hummed, as Jungkook whined from behind her.

"Yah, my ego isn't inflated at all, what are you saying?!" He said while pouting, making you chuckle a but under your breath. He smiled, walking up to you as he waved at miss Jung. "Thanks for closing the shop, we'll be on our way then!" He exclaimed, and she just nodded, smile genuine on her lips.

"So!" He said, stretching his arms above his head before he took your hand, walking across the street with you as he led you both to a fast food place close by. "I thought about The Cat Returns tonight?" He asked, and you nodded, happy with his choice. Against the stigma floating around him judged by his attire and collections of tattoos and piercings, Jungkook was actually a huge fan of Studio Ghibli and everything romantic. He was a bit cheesy, but you'd grown to appreciate it- maybe even love it. The more you both conversed and spend time together, the closer you felt yourself getting with him- without forcing yourself to. It just came natural with him, the hand holding not making you feel weird or as if people were staring, his jacket around your shoulders never feeling heavy. Being close to him was comforting, hearing his voice was soothing, being with him was.. like your personal stack of lavender, always ready to calm your nerves.

So when you were walking to his place, apartment still a bit foreign to you since you'd only visited him a handful of times, you didn't feel any pressure. You simply took off your shoes, immediately greeting his two pet rabbits in his living room, crouching down to pet them. "I feel like you only love me for my pets." He explained playfully scandalized, making you grin as you continued to run your hand over the soft fur.

"Alright!" He'd exclaimed as everything was set on the table, his arms on the back of his couch. "Will you stay with them or actually sit down with me? I'm getting lonely." He whined, and you rolled your eyes before you skipped to the couch, stumbling a bit as he chuckled, catching you as you almost fell onto his lap. "Easy there tiger, and here I thought you wanted to take things slow." He laughed, voice low as he turned on the movie, very aware of the blush coating your cheeks.

It started to cover his own soon as well however, as you slowly but surely started to cuddle up to him.

A kiss was what started it. One, then two, and the third deepened the feeling of want. You thought you'd feel pressured, hesitant, shy, or maybe even scared- but you didn't. This was Jungkook. And Jungkook was your safe place.

"Wait.." He hesitantly said, eyes almost shut in a way as if he was hurt, holding your shoulders as he looked at you. "I- I'm sorry, I don't know what came over myself there.." He chuckled, shifting a bit as he suddenly pulled on his sweater to hide his growing erection. He'd never been ashamed of it in the past, but now, it seemed out of place. It felt as if it made him look like he couldn't wait, as if he was impatient, or taking advantage of the situation. You simply took the receipt of the food, turning it around as you clicked the ballpoint pen on his table, writing.

'It's okay. I want to.'

His eyes widened as he got more serious. "You don't have to. I can totally wait." He said, a gentle smile on his lips as he watched you write another line.

'There's no one I'd rather go this far with.'

His heart began to beat heavier, if that made sense. It felt as if every beat was suddenly more meaningful, louder, more present than ever, as he watched you write.

'I'm yours.'

You gently laid the pen down, now looking at him as he smiled, kissing your lips again deeply as the thunderstorm outside raged on, lightning brightening the room for a second as he couldn't seem to stop kissing you. "Thank you." He hummed, before diving in again. "Thank you." He said again, before made you sit on his lap, straddling him as he chuckled in bliss. "I promise I'll take good care of you." He vowed as you'd closed your eyes, simply giving yourself to him as his hands held you safely. "Now, and forever." He whispered, before he stood up, strong arms underneath your bottom as he carried you out of the living room, into his dark bedroom that only occasionally lit up from the lightning outside. The rain hit the window harshly, yet he didn't seem to hear it at all as he let you fall on the mattress back first, chuckling as he almost fell on top of you, making you giggle.

The sound prominent in his ears as he swore he could've cried.

"You sound so beautiful." He hummed against your neck, his words never wiping the smile off of your face as he moved you to lay down properly, clothes slowly loosing purpose as every item slowly met the floor with a soft thud. He praised every curve, every flaw you saw in yourself as he closed his eyes in pure bliss, no need for visual confirmation to know that you were perfect to him. For the first time in forever you felt free, completely safe and guarded as he moved above you, silent gasps and sighs the only thing present as he stood up for a moment, having to search for a condom before he met you on the bed again, giggling like school kids caught doing mischief as he struggled to open the package, making you laugh at him.

He decided he loved that sound.

If someone was to ask him what he thought your voice sounded like, his first reply would genuinely be that he did not care. It wasn't mandatory in what you both had, he'd learned that over the months and months he'd spent with you. Words surely made communication a bit simpler, but he didn't need them to show you his love and adoration for you. It proved his worth way better than words ever could.

Wrapping the safety over his length he kissed you again, seemingly hooked on the simple gesture as he held himself with one hand, the other one guiding him into you, slowly, as to not make it hurt.

He'd never hurt you.

He didn't rush, there was no need to. This wasn't about reaching a goal, a high, or any end of some sorts. He simply relished in being close to you, in the huge amount of trust you gave him willingly, naturally. He felt honored, as cheesy as it sounded, he felt as if there was no bigger achievement in his life than knowing that you gave yourself into his arms simply because you cherished him just as much as he did you. He held you tightly against him as he slowly moved, pace slow and almost lazy as you slightly squirmed and reached around his shoulders, holding him close as well, both of you existing, nothing more.

Maybe it was the fact that it was you, maybe it was the high of his own happiness in knowing that he held your heart, but he soon felt himself grow sensitive, hand reaching between your bodies to roll your pear between his inked fingers, making you mewl underneath him.

He decided he loved that sound as well.

Your back arched as you came undone underneath him, clenching center helping his own release to happen shortly after. He gasped out, catching his breath as he rested his forehead against yours, suddenly laughing as if he was drunk. And he kind of was; drunk on the realization that this had indeed happened, that he actually was here, holding you, having you all for himself. He slipped out of you after a moment, pulling the condom off of himself as he tied it and threw it into the bin close to his bed, before slipping underneath his blankets, holding you close, sighing in gentle comfort as no words were spoken. Until you moved a bit, lips close to his ear, as you whispered.

"I love you."

And he decided, he loved that sound most of them all.

#bts imagine #bts fanfic #bts fic #bts smut #jungkook imagine #bts #bts jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkook #bts reactions

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werevulvi · 4 years ago

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Would you like to explain the nordic model of prostitution? Like what is it, why you dislike it and how it compares to the australian?

Uh, this is a big question, and it was a while ago I read up on those two models. So I had to sit with it for a moment before conjuring up a reply. I don’t know exactly what kinda info you wanted here, so I’ll just overwhelm you with everything I’ve got! Which... isn’t all that much, all things considered. I really don’t have any sorta energy to start digging for sources of it now or anytime soon, but I can ramble on a bit about my past findings and the conclusions that they led me to:

First off, what those models of prostitution are: are essentially sex industry laws that regulate buying and selling of any kinds of sexual services. They're what decide whether it's legal or not to sell/buy and to what extent you can legally do what, in regards to brothels, porn, being your own boss, etc. America has a completely different system of such laws, detached from both the Nordic and the Australian, which is probably one of the most dangerous such systems of laws, for the prostitutes. Although I'm not like SUPER familiar with its exact laws and regulations, I pretty sure it's illegal to sell sex there, which makes it very risky for those who do. In the Nordic model it's legal to sell (but with quite some caveats which I will shortly get into) but illegal to buy. In the Australian model it's legal to sell AND buy, but with safety restrictions regulating the how and to what extent.

Secondly, some highly relevant background info about me: Some years ago, I was actually interested in becoming a sex worker myself, because well, my trauma sought a new, exciting thrill... However, I wanted to do it as legally and safely as I could possibly manage. I also wanted to sell physical sex acts, not just sell foot pics on the internet. So basically I did a ton of research on how to be legal full service prostitute in my country, and to my sheer frustration, found that the Nordic model has so many flaws and contradictions in it that there's no way I could possibly sell sex without running into some serious trouble.

Although PLEASE keep in mind that I'm no longer interested in making prostitution my career!

But also to prove my point (before having even made it yet): even IF I'd still consider becoming a sex worker, I would feel safer doing that in the Netherlands, or possibly even in (certain parts of) America, and most definitely in Australia, than I would in Sweden. Of course it's good if the shitty Nordic model prevents me from starting up such a business, but if that's the only focus here, then you're completely missing a very important, in fact crucial, point: The reason it prevents me from doing so is not because it makes sex work seem more unappealing than it already is, but because the laws around it are unnecessarily FUCKED. That is the literal law putting me in danger, possibly even more so than the john's would, which is a huge failure on part of the government. The government's job should be to protect, not kick and step on people who are already fucking lying down, for daring to lie down to begin with, which the vast majorty of whom did not choose to.

Now, let's get into the issues with the Nordic model that I stumbled into during my research:

1. Although it's technically legal to sell sex, it's illegal to do it at your own home, the client's home, hotels, outdoors, literally any imaginable physical location. Which means prostitutes run a risk of facing eviction and getting arrested for the location (which is every location) they perform their services.

2. You have to pay taxes for the money you earn, like any other "job." However, the catch here is that the only way you can to do this is if you apply for starting your own business as a sex worker, which you're not technically allowed to do (???) by applying for something called an "F kassa" which is basically a form of private company financial set up (very Sweden specific, bureaucratic bullshit) which is the "lowest" and most difficult form of it to work with. Basically by that system, you have to manually calculate your taxes by yourself every month, which has a VERY high risk of fucking it up accidentally, which gets you at a very high liability for accidental fraud. It's also an extremely mentally taxing (sorry for the bad pun) way to pay taxes, unless you're a mathematician. Due to this, most Swedish sex workers do not pay their taxes, which you can probably imagine how living under that kinda stress could do to a person.

3. Because buying sex is still illegal under the Nordic model, prostitutes still have to stay quiet if something bad happens with a client, because giving up clients to the cops hurts their business, as well as increasing the risk of the cops finding more of their clients to bust, and fewer john's wanna go to a prostitute who is not trustworthy.

4. Trafficking is still happening a lot, even in Sweden. But problem is that because any and all such activity is strictly illegal, including brothels and the like, they hide underground and are not found out about until after having done severe damage for many decades... if at all. Pimps etc in Sweden are extremely skilled at keeping their business secret because duh obviously?! Hidden trafficking gets discovered all the time, but they get better at hiding, thus harder to discover.

5. There were a ton more issues I stumbled into, but these were the most concerning ones that really leaped out at me. Other issues includes: not being able to get safety stuff like condoms covered financially unless you go through hell and high water to record for every little rubber you buy and use and what exactly it costed, etc, but even then it's still pretty much impossible in practice. Not allowed to keep your income on a bank account because of the legal issues of where those money come from. The extremely high risk of keeping contact with clients without getting caught, whether you use a phone, e-mail, snailmail, etc.

Conclusions: In my opinion, the Nordic model only makes shit a hell of a lot worse, in an attempt to protect sex workers. But the result is that it only forces people to go underground and hide from the law to protect their business, which goes for both trafficking as well as individual prostitutes with their own businesses. It tries, but fails hard.

Basically, the law says you have to abide by things that are not actually possible to abide by in actual practice. I wrecked my head for months trying to figure out how to be a law-abiding prostitute, but to no avail. It made me not just frustrated for myself, but also worried about sex workers in my country, whether they're trafficked or otherwise forced, or choosing to do it on their own volition. The Nordic model makes sex work dangerous, not only because of the clients possible (or likely) abuse the sex workers might face, but because of the law itself. And that's where I personally think the law has gone very, very wrong. It should protect sex workers, not punish them further and putting them in even more danger.

(Also, although my knowledge of the Nordic model is very Sweden specific, I got the impression that it's flaws are quite similar in other Nordic countries, aside from a few details here and there.)

The Australian model, I have far less knowledge about. I basically just watched a few youtube videos about it and skimmed through maybe half an article, buuuut... what little I heard of it seems to do a far better job at both protecting individual sex workers who work for themselves, AND reducing trafficking, which really spoke to me. Yes, the Australian model allows far more, but that is not at all necessarily bad or dangerous. It allows the shit (trafficking) to float up to the surface much more easily, makes pimps far more careless with their businesses (ie easier to bust them) and can offer a far better safety net for those who (more or less) choose to do it on their own volition. But what exactly is and isn't allowed in that model, I'm admittedly unsure. But a lot of stuff pertaining to prostitution there has been de-criminalised, NOT legalised, and that's a very important point to keep in mind.

But also, I understand that the Australian model cannot possibly be "perfect" by any means. It's probably more so that I understand the Nordic model to be so horrific that whatever the Australian model does differently pretty much cannot possibly be worse. That's how badly I think of the Nordic model. It seriously angers me to the bone, how horrible it is. And thus, I can't help but getting very wrapped up in my emotions about it when I hear radfems praising the Nordic model, when all it does is brushing the inconvenient dust under the carpet, while the Australian model has already done quite some impressive actual cleaning, in the few years that have passed since they de-criminalised prostitution stuff.

The actual real life outcome should matter more than how nice the model looks like in theory. Sweden offers an absolutely terrible living situation for sex workers of any kind in actual practice, despite having such a "nice" system that's "meant" to make it safer for sex workers and reduce trafficking, which it absolutely does not do. Australia literally proved their "more allowing" system actually works in practice to improve the safety for sex workers and to reduce trafficking, despite it looks morally corrupt and too allowing in theory, and that's what matters to me. The outcome. The lives.

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callsignbaphomet · 4 years ago

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Ok, so, originally this was gonna just be a million fuckin questions, and it'll prooooobably turn into one of those question chains from several months ago. BUT to start I think I can do just like, three. First, tell me ALL about the area in Norway where Jelani was growin up, absolutely anything and everything you can think of about it. Secondly, tell me ALL about babby Jelani! Again just anything and everything you can think of! Lastly, how exactly do those magic weapons work? :o Like, once they're made can anyone grab them? Can he only have one at a time? Stuff like that! Basically just use this as a chance to talk about all those things! :3

❤️❤️❤️

So Jelani was born and raised near what is known as Hammerfest today (woohoo subarctic climate!). Honestly he’s been everywhere and just about seen everything but nothing compares to when he was growing up in that area and watching the Aurora Borealis with family and friends in a comfortable silence while just taking it all in, ya know? Being born in 870 CE meant there was no light pollution so every night the sky always lit up and the stars were so shiny and there were millions and millions of them which was absolutely insane to see and had a lot of significance because of his mom’s culture and their relationship to the stars.

They were close to the coast so there was a lot of fishing and sailing. He was also partial to that area because it was close to the sea and close enough to the mountains where it felt like a happy in between. He’s not a fan of being too far from some source of water. That place was perfect as he could see all kinds of sea dwelling animals like whales and seals, squids though he’s not a fan, he’s kind of scared of squid especially the really big ones he saw every once in a while. He especially liked puffins as a kid since he thought they were kinda silly. Inland he saw his fair share of reindeer, foxes, bears, wolves and otters which he completely fell in love with and still loves as an adult. Show him pictures or videos of otters and he’ll melt, if he sees one irl he’ll practically die from the amount of cute. There were also the more supernatural creatures though he mostly grew up around a lot of werewolves.

Oh! And sure, he’s not a big fan of the sun but even he has to admit that the midnight sun is pretty impressive and beautiful in its own right. It was gorgeous to see it and he did enjoy walking around in the middle of the night and still see the sun out.

Also, despite the location, he was exposed to a lot of different people as the village was flagged as a safe area which saw a ton of traders and all were welcome regardless of who you were or if you were human or non-human. He saw everything and interacted with all sorts of people from the local Sámi People, Middle Eastern, Asian and even other African people. And after his mom found out her family were still alive and well they’d also visit each other when they could. Honestly, his upbringing was kinda fairy tale like.

______________________________________________________________

qasdxcfgbhn well, Jela as a little kid was always hanging around his parents, grandparents and especially his brother. Since Loke’s 13 years older than him Loke often watched him and played with him a lot, he wasn’t even asked to he just did it because baby brother. Like the instant Lo first saw him it was like love at first sight type of shit. He learned to speak clearly very early on which surprised everyone at how clear and structured his speech was for a kid so young and then they learned he was a very fast learner and really smart and was always curious and asking tons of questions.

Even since he was little he really loved animals so he was always seen chasing after them or somehow petting them and playing with them. Learned to ride and care for horses pretty fast and when he got his own it was like fireworks went off in his head. Even in present day he sees a horse and it’s like instant childhood memories flooding him. Btw his first horse was a mare he named Dagny, just like his ball python in modern times lol, it was a Fjord with a grey coat and a two tone mane and he loved her to bits. Aside from that there was the family dog named River because she loved to swim. He also liked cats but they didn’t have a cat because Loke was scared of them and Sanaa (for different reasons related to another creature) wasn’t fond of them. They don’t hate cats but they’d rather just keep ‘em at arm’s length.

Then teen Jelani who was...I don’t wanna use the word difficult because he wasn’t but let’s just say different for lack of a better word. It was around this time that he was realizing he wasn’t like his family and it actually hurt ‘im a lot. Especially since his mom was an arcane berserker and it was like a huge deal so they all thought he was gonna be one too. So in come the feelings of alienation and the doubts and the semi angst and the moodiness. He was never disrespectful to anyone but he was often moody and often felt down. Around this time he was also learning he had some unique abilities of his own that no one else had and since no one else had them he learned to control them but not without incidents. Not to mention that since he was very little he could see and hear and talk to things that no one else could really see. Some were friendly and others weren’t. Mix in the regular hormonal shit teenagers go through during puberty and it made for a bit of a mess. This kind of “weakened” him and his old self (which he nor anyone else knew of) was starting to rear in and it was kind of scary. He was actually fluctuating between his old personality which was chaotic af and his present self and both seemed to clash a lot. Once this started happening the migraine attacks and the nosebleeds began as well as the sleep paralysis, night terrors, insomnia and the nyctophobia and they all seemed to hit him really hard and suddenly. So all of that mixed in made the ages of 13 through 17 really, really fucking messy.

But family and friends were with him through it all and at 17 and a half he chilled out and learned to control himself and managed to suppress his old self. He’d learned to use and handle his abilities responsibly, still felt a little out of place but his family was sure to always let ‘im know they loved him no matter what and his grandfather especially let him know that his differences weren’t a bad thing and that they made ‘im special. By 18 he was back to his cheerful old self though sometimes he still felt bad about being different but didn’t let it get him down. However, he now had to cope with migraine attacks, night terrors, nyctophobia, random nosebleeds, insomnia and sleep paralysis which he still has even in present day.

______________________________________________________________

Okay so berserkers are non-humans that have the ability to summon powerful weapons and very sturdy armor from nothing thin air. The armor can take a beating but if they get targeted by a barrage of attacks the armor can break and they’d have to summon the armor again but there’s a cool down of about half an hour so it’s better to hang on to the armor even if broken or get your ass to safety. The weapons don’t break though. Oh and if an armor broke and they summon it again it’ll show up as good as new. Berserkers can summon up to two different weapons so which ones they summon depends on the person’s taste and comfort level.

These weapons can be summoned and dematerialized at will and have no cool down. Anyone can grab them if the berserker it belongs to doesn’t mind though why would a berserker use another one’s weapon unless they wanna be offensive and kill ‘em with their own weapon? It’s not offensive, more like yikes.

Now, since Jelani isn’t a berserker he managed to figure out a way to mimic berserkers’ ability to summon a weapon from thin air though unlike grown up berserkers he isn’t limited to just two types of weapons. For example Loke is able to summon a two headed axe and a bow, nothing more nothing less. Jelani can summon whatever he wants as he can manipulate the shape. His mom’s tribe are partial to glaives so he mainly uses a glaive. His weapons however are made of an unknown material that’s insanely hard and impossible to even crack. His weapons can’t be wielded by anyone other than himself bc as soon as someone else touches them they dematrerialize. It also looks weird, like it’s so dark it swallows all light and no light bounces off of it. He can’t summon armor though so that’s where the blacksmith comes in. His uncle Jørgen made his look like his dad’s and his mom’s.

#theonedayking #reply #Jelani tag #oc things #Oracle Corp #Oracle Corp tag

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soliitvde · 4 years ago

Text

𝐉𝐀𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐑 '𝐉𝐀𝐂𝐊' 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐄 𝐈𝐈 -- how do we forgive ourselves for all the things we did not become ?

( casey deidrick / cis man / he and him ). introducing jasper ’ jack ’ stoneshire, the host for the allegiant . they’ll be thirty two years old , and arrived at hartly eight months ago. they work as a farmer, and you’ll always see a sickle around wherever he is

𝚆𝙰𝙺𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝚄𝙿 𝚃𝙾 𝙰𝚂𝙷 𝙰𝙽𝙳 𝙳𝚄𝚂𝚃

full name : jasper alistair stoneshire ii

nicknames : jack

age : thirty - two

gender / pronouns : cis man / he/him

date of birth : september 12th

location of birth : stoneshire manor , england

past residence : new york city , new york

current residence : hartly , arrived eight months ago

past occupation : gallery director

current occupation : farmer

family : paola vazques ( wife ) , leila stoneshire ( daughter ) , jasper stoneshire i ( father ) , moira stoneshire ( mother )

aesthetics :

playlist : radioactive - imagine dragons

character inspiration :

𝙸 𝚆𝙸𝙿𝙴 𝙼𝚈 𝙱𝚁𝙾𝚆 𝙰𝙽𝙳 𝙸 𝚂𝚆𝙴𝙰𝚃 𝙼𝚈 𝚁𝚄𝚂𝚃

born premature , lungs underdeveloped , heart even more so . no - one thought he would survive . maximum , seven days , the doctors had said . and for seven days , his parents cradled him in his arms , wept and cried and got ready to say their goodbyes . but by some miracle , seven days came and went , then a month , then a year . and he was up and about , wrecking havoc with crayons on his grandmother’s wallpaper , splashing his parents in the bath . he was alive . and his name was jasper . but that was his father’s name too . and it became far too difficult for him to say ( had a bit of a lisp , when he was younger ) and readily settled for jack . little jack of stoneshire .

his parents , both from long lines of aristocrats , who never had to worry about money for a single day in their lives , were quick to feed him with a silver spoon ( blind to what the ritzy , glitzy glam of aristocracy did to them -- one , dependent on alcohol , the other seeing another multiple men ) and jack was quick to adapt to it . did fairly well in the dangerous land of the rich . traversed through mountains of galas , weathered small - talk with vacuous patricians . and he did it all without even breaking a sweat . this was what he was meant to do after all .

the years pass quickly and jack begins to find himself , a little lost . the years had left him worse for wear . the arrogance that was gifted to him by his name and class ultimately became his ruination . failed relationships , failed friendships . his hubristic nature had left him all alone . even ties with his parents were severed , they , and everything they came with , had raised a wolf . and that wolf had devoured them and everything they had .

in an attempt to create a new start , a new him , jack crossed seas , climbed ( metaphorical ) mountains and found himself in the u.s of a . having been just shy of nineteen and sheltered from all the true injustices of the world , his new reality was a sucker - punch to the face . he spent that night crying on a park bench in central park . but , after a great long night of reflection and a hot - dog form around the corner , he came to his senses and decided that yes , he was going to do this all by himself .

he got a job at a pizzeria two blocks down , studied art history at nyu , graduated , one - hundred and seventh from his class and got his first ‘real’ job as a gallery associate , at a museum of a famous-ish local artist . he progressed through the ranks , eventually becoming gallery director at the museum of modern art .

when he was twenty - six , he met the love of his life , got married two years later and had a kid the next year ! then of course , it happened . he reached out to his parents immediately , because they had a private jet and stoneshire manor was very very isolated from everything else -- but ( because of his arrogance and his pride and his adamant desire on maintaining his independence ) he had left it too late , the borders had closed . they were stuck . him , his pregnant wife and their three year old daughter , stuck in one of the busiest and most populated cities in the world .

* trigger warning : pregnancy loss * they tried their best to survive , hiding out , never staying in one place for more than a few days and the days blend into the next and they’ve all lost track of time but their unborn child was growing , his wife was weakening , any day now , he would think to himself . any day now , their new baby was going to enter this cruel and merciless world . they found another family , the husband was a midwife and the wife was a doctor , together they delivered their baby . but their little baby never made a sound and was still . and lifeless . they had lost him . * end trigger warning *

it had taken such a toll on him and his wife , they had named him bobby last minute , after his wife’s favourite singer -- bob dylan . but it took a far larger toll on his wife . and his wife , who was cursed to always feel everything intensely , was consumed with such deep grief . * trigger warning : self - harm / suicide * and so , one night , while jack was asleep , while their daughter little leila was asleep , she ventured out . not knowing what was there , just knowing she wasn’t coming back . he hadn’t seen her since . and he’s always blamed himself for it . * end trigger warning *

a year passes , though he’s not sure , maybe it was just a month or a week , or maybe it had been two years , but somehow him and his daughter make it through . some days its just silence between them , just the sound of their feet against gravel , some days they manage to laugh , they tell jokes and reminisce about that one that mom farted in an elevator . and it was good , it was enough .

but jack made a mistake . they had stumbled upon. a park and little leila , who barely remembers what a playground looked like , let alone what it felt like to be a kid , broke free from her father’s hand and rushed to the monkey bars . * trigger warning : death * and jack , was overcome with empathy and joy , it was the first time that he had seen his daughter truly happy . and the last . leila had ventured past his blind spot and jack was too slow to react . a grotesque creature , with almost snapped necks , a quiet growling and hollow eye - sockets stood over his daughter . eyeing her like a lion would stalk a deer . all he heard was a scream . and jack , carrying only a makeshift spear . tried his best to defend his daughter . but it was too late . splattered with blood and dotted with bites - marks . all that he could give her , was the mercy of a swift death . * end trigger warning *

tired , hungry and with barely any will to live , jack somehow found hartly . as though it was fate’s party trick , to leave him all alone , carrying the a guilt that was consuming him form the inside out .

𝙸'𝙼 𝙱𝚁𝙴𝙰𝚃𝙷𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙸𝙽 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙲𝙷𝙴𝙼𝙸𝙲𝙰𝙻𝚂

very chill , very calming , hates fights , hates arguments , always plays the peace keeper , tends to keep his emotions bottled - up , doesn’t let his anger out a lot . the only thing that really gets him worked up is constant mention of his past -- he feels really guilty about it so he pushes it to the very back of his mind and its only when other people that he may have told brings it up then he’ll go hulk - smash on a nearby wall

he’s a diligent worker , kinda keeps to himself . doesn’t like to establish any new connections cause he knows how easy they are to loose . very quiet , very shy and timid , gets flustered / embarrassed quite easily .

oh man , okay , he sometimes says really deep / profound / thought - provoking shit at the wrong times . like he’d whip out some quote from othello while he’s washing the dishes or something . it’s just a thing he does . it’s like a reflex for him . it’s like some sort of evolutionary leftover from his old , dark academia , posh - boy life .

𝚃𝙷𝙸𝚂 𝙸𝚂 𝙸𝚃 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙰𝙿𝙾𝙲𝙰𝙻𝚈𝙿𝚂𝙴

maybe the family they stumbled upon and helped deliver their baby ??

some new hartly acquaintances that can actually stand him ??

a prospective loooove interest ? ?? ?? ? though this would probably take a while

a connections from his old life ?? a co - worker ?? an old - school mate ??? his best friend ???? parents of his daughter’s friends ???

maybe he has a housemate at hartlys ??

farmer friendsss !!!

his confidant ???

someone he had found before hartly ??? and they found hartly together maybe ???

and lots lots more !!! i’m up for brainstorming !!!!

#miseriaintro

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hurt-care · 6 years ago

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I've had an idea rolling around in my head about an archaeologist, typically one who works in the desert in Egypt, who has a crazy terrible allergies that make going in and out of dusty/moldy tombs a nightmare. I don't know if that's anything you might want to write about, but I don't have the talent and I love your work, so I thought I'd put it forward in case it did something for you!

Okay, so this one immediately sparked my imagination! It isn’t exactly what you described but hopefully close enough! Enjoy

The jingle of a cell phone ring broke through the cloud of white noise coming from the air purifier and the AC unit. Thom rolled over and reached for the phone, almost knocking it off the bedside table as he fumbled sleepily.

He squinted at the display and toggled the slider to answer.

“Mhm? Hello?”

“I'm out front. It's ten past.”

Thom sat up with a start and blinked at the clock across the room.

“Oh fuck. I'm sorry Asha, I overslept. Give me a few and I'll be right down.”

He kicked off the sheets and tore through his closet in the small flat for a fresh pair of khakis and a thin linen shirt. He splashed some water on his face and ate a banana quickly while he refilled his water bottle and searched for his baseball cap. Thankfully, his backpack was still stocked from the previous day of work, so he slung it over his shoulder, grabbed his keys, and raced down the two flights of stairs out into the busy Luxor street.

Though it was barely seven, the sun was already blazingly hot. Asha sat, idling her motorcycle and chatting with a street vendor.

“Sorry, sorry,” Thom said as he approached.

“Doctor Rutledge is gonna kill us,” she said, pushing her helmet back down and handing the spare one to Thom. “Let's go.”

Thom sided onto the bike, put on the heavy face-shielded helmet, and took hold of Asha's waist. The bike roared to life and they sped off towards the dig site.

He'd first met Asha two months ago when he'd come to Egypt for his practical experience under the tutelage of renowned Egyptologist, Doctor Emila Rutledge. Asha was a daughter of Luxor, born and raised in the city and her knowledge of its winding streets and the surrounding archeological sights had proved very useful. She was a local assistant on the dig, helping with some of the more tedious sorting and packing of artifacts. And her motorbike was a much faster way to reach the desert than taking a bus and then walking.

They turned down a street leading out of the city and towards the Theban Necropolisdig site. The bike slowed as they turned down the side road and came to a halt where the road turned to sand.

They tugged off their helmets, the sweat dripping down their faces drying instantly in the arid climate. With Asha pushing the bike, they walked the last bit down the sandy path to the tents that marked the research areas.

Thom blinked in the dry air and rubbed at his left eye, turning it a little pink. As they ducked under the canopy of the first tent, he cleared his throat and took a deep swig of his water bottle.

“Sorry, sorry,” he said, capping the bottle and putting it back in his pack. “It's my fault. I didn't set a proper alarm.”

Doctor Rutledge looked up from her table of equipment and glared at him.

“There's limited time out here during the storm season,” she warned him. “Don't waste it being late.”

March and April in the desert meant sandstorms and sometimes they struck unexpectedly, plunging the camp into a fog of dust and undoing weeks of excavation work. Thankfully, none had hit the site thus far in the season.

Thom set down his things and turned to his work, Asha at his side, cataloguing a tray of rocks that had eroded off a nearby statue.

“You alright?” she asked, looking at him critically. “Your eyes are kinda pink.”

He blinked and rubbed at his left one again. They did feel a bit gritty.

“Still half asleep,” he said. “Didn't have time for coffee.”

She laughed.

“You'll have to suffer until break then.”

Thom nodded and made a mark in his notebook about one of the artifacts. He rubbed the back of his hand to his nose distractedly, pawing away an itch.

In the distance, the air was growing murky and dim as a far-off storm kicked up sand into the air, turning the sky an unworldly red.

His throat felt drier than usual out in the heat of the open desert. Putting his notebook down, he reached again for his water bottle.

“You sure you're fine?” Asha asked suspiciously. “Your eyes look awful.”

Thom pushed his water bottle cap shut and opened his mouth to answer her, but he was distracted by a sudden, very urgent itch. He wrinkled his nose and turned away, cupping his hands to his face.

Hurh-TSGHT!

“Blessings to you,” she offered.

Thom sniffled and wiped at his nose. He could feel the familiar burning of an allergic reaction growing in his respiratory system and suddenly his stomach sank. In the haste of his departure that morning, he'd neglected to take his allergy medication.

He'd always been someone who struggled with allergies, to everything from cats to pollen to mold and dust. His youth had been full of inhalers on the sidelines of the soccer pitch, extra allergy pills packed for sleepovers, and his own air purifier for his college dorm room. Adulthood had not improved things as much as he'd hoped. He'd expected that the dry air of Egypt would be a relief to his hayfever, but he'd been warned about dust-storm season and the large amounts of pollen and mold and dust kicked up by the strong winds. The local pharmacy had put out a display of face masks only a week prior.

“Oh shit,” he groaned, digging through his backpack. Maybe he had some spare pills stowed away.

“What?” Asha asked.

“Ugh, my allergies,” he said, sniffling again. “I forgot my medicine this morning.”

“Wow, you really did fuck up the start of your day,” she teased. “You have allergies? Bad ones?”

“Yes, bad ones,” he said, reaching to the bottom of an outside pocket and feeling his rescue inhaler. At least that was some relief. “Bad enough to need a prescription daily.”

“And it's storm season,” she said. “The worst for that.”

“I've been told,” he said miserably. He could feel his eyes beginning to water and he ran his tongue along the top of his mouth and back towards his throat, trying to settle an itch.

Hhrr-TSGHHT!

He sneezed roughly into his shoulder.

“Well,” he said, pulling a bandanna out of his pack. “This might help a little.”

He tied the triangle of cloth over his nose and mouth, tucking the excess into the top of his shirt.

“Very mysterious,” Asha teased. “My work partner, Zorro.”

Thom went back to his notes, but concentrating was extremely difficult. He wrinkled his nose under the bandanna and tried to focus on his work, but the itching was too strong.

Hehh-ehh-GSHTT!

A damp spot blossomed on the bandanna under his nose.

He clamped a hand over the fabric and pinched his nose, turning away from Asha.

NghT! Hehh...eh-TSGHT! Tsh'GXHT!

Three rapid stifles tumbled forward, held in by his fingers.

Tsgh! Ehh-TSGH!

“Wow,” Asha said, watching. “You were not kidding.”

“No,” he said miserably, letting go of his nose. “This is pretty mild, actually. Usually I...I..hehhh...heh-TSGHT!”

He sneezed once again into the bandanna and tugged it free from his face, using it as a proper handkerchief.

“I'll ask around to see if anyone else has some medicine,” Asha offered. “Sit down a minute.”

He sunk into a camp chair with the bandanna over his nose.

Hehh-ehhhh-GSHTT!

By the time she returned, his breath was growing wheezy and his eyes were swollen. He coughed hoarsely into his fist and swallowed hard.

“No luck,” she said.

“What going on over here?”

Doctor Rutledge was standing behind them, looking expectantly at them both.

“Thom is having an allergic reaction, Doctor,” Asha explained. “I was looking around to see if anyone had any medication.”

“And?”

“No one does,” she said. “I'm sorry, Thom.”

“That's okay,” he croaked. “I just need a minute. I—heh-SGHHT!”

He sneezed thickly into the bandana and pinched his nose before giving it a sharp blow.

“It's storm season, Thom,” Doctor Rutledge said. “The longer you're out here, the worse it'll get.”

Ehhh-GSXHTT!

He was starting to feel the strain in his lungs and he fished in his bag, curling his fingers around his rescue inhaler just in case.

“I think you should go back home, Thom,” Doctor Rutledge said. “It looks like the winds are headed this way.”

He could barely see her through his watering eyes.

“Are you sure, doctor? I could go work in one of those more covered tents across the way.”

“No, that isn't necessary. Asha, will you get him home?”

“Yes, I'll do that.”

Doctor Rutledge turned to head back to her work as Thom launched into another fit.

Ehh-tsxSHTT! Ngh'GSHT!

Thom curled in on himself, sneezing rapidly.

Tsgh-GSHT Tsh'GHT! TXGHT!

He blew his nose hard into bandana and surfaced from the fit with a wheezy gasp.

“Hold on,” he croaked, raising the inhaler. “I need this first.”

He took a puff and breathed in the medication, holding it in as long as he could before he started to cough and exhaled nosily.

Asha sighed sympathetically and held out her water bottle. He took a deep swig from it and thanked her.

“Let's go before you get worse,” she said.

They returned to the motorcycle, going slowly along the path because of Thom's swollen eyes. He shoved the helmet over his leaky face and climbed on the bike behind Asha.

The ride back into Luxor was a blur of exhausted sniffling and two very unpleasant sneezes inside the helmet before they pulled up in front of Thom's apartment.

“C'mon,” Asha said gently, taking his arm and leading him inside. He started to climb the two flights of stairs but on the first landing he was forced to pause as another fit took over, wrenching him forward with several forceful sneezes that tore out of him rapid-fire.

Hurhhh-TSGHHH! Ngh-TSGHHT! Hehh....ehh-TSCHHH!

They staggered up the next flight and into Thom's flat. He swallowed two of his prescription pills from the medicine cabinet before slouching down into his sofa and taking another puff of his inhaler.

“I thought leaving England would be the end of all this mess,” he said miserably.

“Oh no, we've got all our own special allergens here too. Storm season is infamous. I'm sure you've been told.”

“I have,” he said. “I probably would still be a bit of mess with my prescription, but I can't believe I managed to forgot taking it at all!”

“I guess we'll see,” Asha said. “There's two months of this dust. Maybe invest in a mask. Lots of people wear them this time of year.”

Eh-TSCHH!

Asha shoved a box of tissues across the coffee table towards Thom.

“And maybe invest in a few more of those too. Sounds like you might need them.”

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holocene-days · 5 years ago

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hey jemma, would really love some tips about how you've been figuring yourself out, would love to get to that place but difficult to know where to start

ahh hi!

i should probably preface this by saying that this has been a hella long process that’s taken place over the past 2 years.

a lot of this post is gonna be me talking about my experiences bc i’m not really good at the whole second person advice thing. so i hope this is helpful in some way!! also lol sorry this got really long, i just had lots of thoughts

*tw mention of eating disorders, nothing too in depth but just like talk about anorexia and such things*

i kinda started this journey in fall of 2017 when i realized i had lost myself and was struggling severely with an eating disorder and went to see the therapist at my uni who specializes in eating disorders. she diagnosed me with anorexia which was like a major wake up call and i was like jfc who am i what am i doing to myself how did i get this way. i had lost over 20 pounds and was completely focused on how i looked and i felt so out of control of my life and my desires and ambitions that i coped with it through controlling my weight and how i looked. long story short, saw this therapist through fall of 2017 and at the beginning of december had a breakthrough, which was when i said “i don’t want to be thin, i want the things i think being thin will get me”, thus the start of my recovery began.

i then spent 8 months of 2018 studying abroad in london and traveling around europe and met the most amazing people and had some of the best experiences of my life (shout out to my girls matilde @timobeechalamet and megan @blxckisthecolor) and because i was so focused on traveling and school i didn’t really have any sense of self, which actually was quite beneficial because i was trying to recover from this traumatic thing and the distraction of travel and school were very helpful.

went back to the states in dec and graduated from uni this may. spent my last semester focused on myself and finishing my degree and spending lots of time with my friends. and here’s where i really started to work on myself.

i’ve always had lots of anxiety around school and perfection (which is why i initially started seeing a therapist 4 years ago) and it took me a lil while but i’ve realized that i don’t feel these kinds of pressures anymore because i’m out of this environment which was stifling and stressful, i’m able to be myself more. which brings us up to the present day where i now feel like i have the time and comfortable environment to enjoy myself and explore new things.

1. focus on your passions. what do you love? what do you love to do? are there classes you can take to learn more? books you can read? my big love is acting so i got a degree in it and then went to LA this summer for a month and a half to go to a film acting school and through that program learned SO much about what i want from myself as an artist. i watch lots of movies and series. find way to incorporate what you love into your daily life. take just 30 minutes for it and just focus on it. i find that keeping a tag on here of things that inspire me artistically can be really helpful bc if i’m ever feeling uninspired or stuck i can go back and look through the posts and get mentally back on track with my passion.

2. writing. i’ve been keeping a journal since i was about 15. i don’t really make diary entries in it but i love lists and making lists about concepts or themes or aesthetics. i recently made a list of all of my favorite meals this way in case i don’t know what to make, i have a basis to go back to of things i know my body loves. some nights i just come up with an idea and i take out my journal and just write and don’t edit myself. just keep the ideas going. no detail is too small. it’s just really nice to have a place with all my thoughts and ideas and feelings. writing is really cathartic for me.

3. bullet journaling. my bullet journal is separate from my other journal and in it i keep my month and mind in check. i draw out each month and write down thoughts and goals of things i want to do for the month. i have pages about the law of attraction and new things i want to try and quotes about acting and being an artist. it’s such a great way for me to customize my life in a sense and have a book of my current life and thoughts to refer to.

4. your space. i am that girl who always has clothes on her bedroom floor, and everything is typically very messy. but that shit stresses me out so much. and so in an effort to try to have more peace in my life, i’m trying to do better about it. literally yesterday i deep cleaned and redecorated half of my bedroom and put in a bookshelf from my dad’s office and put lots of plants and books on it and wow it really transformed my room. it was SUCH a simple thing that took like an hour but really changed the whole vibe of my room. your room is you lil home in ur apartment or house and it needs to be your happy, chill space where you feel comfortable. putting in effort in your room seriously changes so much about your mental attitude. i’m trying to get in the habit of making my bed each morning and it’s been v helpful!!

5. ya body. i think taking care of your body is so incredibly important in your self discovery journey because it affects how your brain works and your outlook on yourself and the greater world. bc of my ed my sense of body has been real fucked for so long (i’m talking like 10 years :))))) ). here’s how i got to a better place with it 1. lots of therapy lol. 2. reminding myself that my body is a living, breathing animal that requires food to function and movement to feel good. breaking the idea of movement (i.e. working out) away from the idea of being skinny has been hard but intensely helpful and effective in the way i view my body. i focus on movement. not working out, not burning calories. things like walking, biking, dancing, ice skating are all physical activities i really enjoy that don’t feel like working out. food is a whole other beast. i totally still struggle with food sometimes but it’s getting better. i’ve been focusing a lot on intuitive eating over the past couple months (these posts by @heavyweightheart have been so incredibly helpful in teaching me about this) and that food list i made a few days ago is also really helpful. my advice would be eat what feels good to your body and makes you have energy and feel good. stay active in your life and move in ways that also feel good. the more i take care of my body, the better my mind feels and the more in touch with myself i am.

6. back off instagram. that shit is... not great. i mean, it def has its moments (and memes) but overall i just feel like insta is a place where people post photos of their “perfect life moments” and want their friends to validate it. and then there’s all those influencers on there and so many insta stories and it’s just really overwhelming. if you really like instagram and don’t feel like it’s anxiety inducing then def keep it! but also know that it’s okay to step back from it for a lil bit. it really helped me to feel more present and not continuously compare myself to others and feel a need to post if a cool thing happened. it’s been nice to be more private and keep things for myself.

7. patience. remembering that things take time and what you want is achievable you just have to keep goings. try new things. change your approach, allow yourself to fail. learn from the failure and do better next time.

8. kindness. towards yourself and others. really putting in the effort to be kind to people in your everyday life makes SUCH a difference and really brightens their day and yours as well. putting out good vibes brings back good vibes, which then allows you to feel better about yourself and more in tune with others around you.

i’m going to stop this here bc this is so fucking long at this point lol i’m so sorry for that but i hope some of this was helpful pls let me know!!

#tw: eating disorder #ask

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synaps · 6 years ago

Text

I did not see this 5 years ago, though apparently I did

Hi there! So, in the light of the recent Ao no Exorcist chapters and Katou having a solid grasp on her timeline after all, my brain shocked itself enough to produce some serotonin and I decided I’m gonna diverge from my own principles and post this. Brain producing serotonin should be encouraged. Buckle up, everyone bothering to read: this timeline breakdown/fan theory emerged in 2012, when a bored AnE-fan pieced together a few of the plot reveals we’re starting to see now.

Spoiler warning for The End of the Beginning! Though strictly speaking they’re a timeline framework I developed in order to write TEotB, which means they’re gonna drop very soon via the flashback! So it probably isn’t as mind-blowing as it was to me... BUT I DON’T CARE I’ve been waiting 6 years for the content we’re getting right now, 6 years I’ve been on the edge of my seat for this misfit clone dork to finally tell his story and AAAAAH

This is basically a full-body search of the Kyoto arc chapters, 'cause that was the only bit of the past we had back when I started writing. To this day that’s the part of the manga I have the best grasp on. x’D But all those hours paid off, good gods they paid off! This is long. Bear with me, ‘kay? Old-time AnE-fans remember that it was commonly thought the twins were born on Blue Night, much due to the anime: Kyoto Arc said it wasn’t. If you looked carefully, you could figure out that Blue Night was in fact the time of the twins’ conception, not their birth. Though to be absolutely sure, I plotted out the timeline three times and dug up records from a weather station in Kyoto to see if there would have been snow at that time of year in the early to mid 90′s because that’s how goddamn obsessed I am. And if you did figure out that the twins were conceived on Blue Night, you were inevitably sucked into an even more obsessive downward spiral into crazy fan madness because that meant Fujimoto Shiro was sent to steal Kurikara to “kill some kids” before those kids existed even on an embryonic stage.

My original estimate was that the stage had taken 24 years to set up, based on the info in Kyoto Arc, but with Mephisto’s recent director’s cut of how he ghost wrote history that number bumps up to 36 years or potentially even longer.

For reference, the timeline I put together for TEotB plus the fresh dates from the flashback arc: 1977: Mephisto pressures Shiro into promising him a free wish because extorting a kid that’s struggling for his life is an ok move 1984: Satan fails possession for the first time because whoa so many limbs at once 1989: the Myou Dha is struck by disease 1993: Satan figures out how to properly possess someone, that’s Rin’s unrelenting never-give-up attitude right there 1994: after a nine year learning curve on just staying in a body Satan has three PhD’s and ditches school after one year of education - guess possessing a body really is a difficult thing to pull off huh 1995: Shiro unwillingly becoming the caretaker of orphans: part I 1996: not yet confirmed but Saburota’s first meeting with Lucifer/Asylum is probably now Also 1996: Satan returns to Section 13 with a reclamation claim on that crap body they sold him 1996-1997 (somewhere around New Year’s, I estimate): Shiro, who was an Upper First Class exorcist at the time, cures Myou Dha and oh is that a sword in your pocket or are you just happy to return to your boss after a successful mission? 1997 (probably mid-to-late March): Blue Night sucked for everyone, but at least Shiro and Tatsuma got promotions - yay 1997: Shiro unwillingly becoming the caretaker of orphans: part II 2003: when you’re a cursed, massacred and financially broke sect like Myou Dha, there’s few options but to join the Order of the True Cross to stay afloat 2005: Saburota recruits Mamushi to spy by raising suspicions against Mephisto ‘cause really, that ain’t hard 2013: a giant pile of shit appears in Kyoto and unleashes destruction on its surroundings and for once it isn’t Mephisto

The manga and the timeline are pretty self-explanatory so what I wanna stress here is what happened 24 years ago, in 1989, ‘cause that’s something Katou hasn’t touched upon yet and it’s really fun except for those involved. In 1989, a disease starts plaguing Myou Dha and the symptoms are identical to what you get from exposure to the miasma from the Impure King’s Eyes. It seems to be a very local problem, as we don’t hear of any epidemic in the rest of Kyoto. Did the seal on the Right Eye spring a leak? Nope. Because the Eye wasn’t there.

We haven’t seen the shrivelled up bit of IK cause any trouble - not saying it couldn’t, but it seemed like that one hadn’t been active much for the past 150 years and it had been constantly monitored by the High Priest. I cross-referenced with the dates given in the new flashbacks but the outbreak doesn’t coincide with any boost of demonic activity related to Satan’s progress. So? The disease in Kyoto is its own separate disaster, and it’s most likely engineered. Let’s work our way back from the present to see how Mephisto set up this stage~ Mephisto knew of Saburota’s plan to unleash IK, and was all cool with that ‘cause hey, good opportunity to test Rin’s flame, build some team spirit, power up Bon, etc. For that reason he decided to move the Right Eye from his own keep to Myou Dha’s: if Saburota had been able to steal both of them from True Cross he wouldn’t have needed the pit stop at the Kyoto Office. He would have revived IK straight away, and even Mephisto couldn’t have motivated sending a bunch of kids into that chaos. So, move the Eye to a secret strategic location in Kyoto and force Saburota into jumping through a couple of extra hoops to get it. The Eye was moved in 2003 or thereabouts: this coincides with Myou Dha joining the Order, and makes perfect sense. The relic has ties to their sect, and it’s kinda fair to give them something back since Meph indefinitely borrowed their main relic, and now that they’re part of the Order and all - yada yada, smoke screens. Mephisto gave them the relic to set Saburota up, but not until he had the means to also give Saburota a trail to follow. Our fav Uncle Goat approached Mamushi, his student, in 2005 and recruited her to get the Right Eye. He probably thought he was cleverly working around Mephisto’s attempt to prevent theft, but if we think about it: who gave Saburota the opportunity to manipulate her in the first place? It is much easier to get your hands on an impressionable young Myou Dha kid if the Myou Dha kids attend the school where Saburota teaches. But why would they? When their families are very competent exorcists on their own and they’re used to keeping to themselves and...

Keeping to yourself is only an option so long as you can survive by yourself, and from 1989 on Myou Dha couldn’t. But Granpa Suguro, being as stubborn as he is, has refused any modern/outside help for 7 bloody years. This disease is weird for several reasons. Its localised spread, for one; its similarity with the Eye mashou when there is no Eye present; the way it vanishes and is never heard of again after Shiro’s visit; the suspiciously good timing. We now know Mephisto is aware of the future to a certain extent - we saw that confirmed when he set Shiro up with that promise. That was the last doubt removed from my theory about the Kyoto disease, so here we are. Satan hadn’t even manifested with a consciousness yet but Mephisto had his sights on Kurikara and Myou Dha’s cooperation in 1989. He is a man of sophistication, so he takes the “if the mountain won’t come to Muhammad, Muhammad must come to the mountain“ approach: he used the Eyes to orchestrate an outbreak that would force the sect to reach out to True Cross - the biggest, most knowledgeable exorcist organisation around - for aid. Because the alternative would be to smash in there and outright steal the sword and nobody would send their kids to your organisation after that. But it didn‘t work. Granpa Suguro refused to follow script and so the years went by, Satan gained consciousness, grew intelligent, grew bored, oops there goes the Asylum ceiling, jfc Suguro how many more have to die before you just play along like a good boy...? In the end Mephisto had to deploy Plan B: screw it, theft it is. If Muhammad won’t go to the goddamn mountain I’m gonna drop the mountain right on Muhammad’s stubborn head.

Of course this means fucking things up for Shiro, ‘cause that’s just how these things go when you’re running a tight deadline getting the Antichrist(s) a birthday present. Also it’s fun.

This frame says everything, really. xD Come now, how would you expect these people to trust you, and develop a friendly attitude to the Order, if you barge in there on your black-ops mission like a humanoid battleship, grab their relic and ditch the scene? Bad PR, very bad PR. Buuut if you’re injured enough that you can’t make that immediate escape, and you just happen to know how to cure this very specific disease that never flares up again, which you can contract from only 2 items in the world, of which both are owned by the snake-tongued sass ball you are enslaved by work for...? What a fortunate coincidence, what a golden opportunity to create some debt gratitude and-

Nevermind...

I headcanon that if Granpa Suguro hadn’t died on Blue Night, Mephisto would have set him on fire personally for being such a roadblock to his plans. After Blue Night Myou Dha was decimated, bankrupt, thought by the population to be cursed - what is a poor sect to do? Who could possibly help? Oh wait wasn‘t there some guy a while back, y’know, that exorcist dude who came crashing in and saved the lives of our families and friends? He seemed to know what he was doing, think we could ask him? So the take-away from this is If not for that disease, if not for Mephisto’s misinformation and Shiro’s break-in, Myou Dha would never have joined True Cross. The Right Eye would never have been kept in Kyoto, there had been no Myou Dha kids at the Academy for Saburota to recruit, and the cram school kids would never have been in Kyoto to fight the Impure King. And also that Mephisto is a fabulous bastard and a pure joy to write! ☆

#ao no exorcist #ao no exorcist fandom #timeline #timeline theory #long post #Mephisto Pheles #Fujimoto Shiro #Myou Dha #Kyoto arc

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sanpatron · 6 years ago

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Saint’s Seven Redux: Part 1

Deep within the Fibonacci Ward on one of its higher levels stood a casino; one that looked as grand and marvelous as many of the ritzier ones you could find on the Vegas strip. Despite the fact this building lacked a resort like its real life counterparts, or the Golden Dawn here in Spirale, it still stood as a sort of bastion of glamour and luxury, of vice and splendor. A place where anyone in this city could potentially become a winner and reap their winnings, but at the same time fail oh so spectacularly and lose it all.

But despite the grandeur of it all there were much more sinister dealings at play here. Cheating, botched games, debts, misery, murder, loans. One could enter this building thinking they might have a chance to strike it big and soon leave hours later with their whole life in shambles. Many have been left to ruin because of their time spent in this building, so much so that it’s become quite the hotbed of rumors in regards to the alleged ‘higher management’ this casino works for. Nevertheless many people do not heed the warnings of such talk and soon find themselves in the same sort of misery that’s befallen other people. If you wish the encounter high-risk gambling in its truest nature then there really was no better place to visit. As the proverb goes ‘the house always wins’, especially when it’s enforced.

Yet despite everything none of this particularly mattered to the 3rd Street Saints.

The Boss has been biding his time for quite a while now; gathering whatever resources necessary and acquiring as much information as possible to plan out this attack. He’s had these bastards in his sights ever since they fucked him and that other weirdo over months ago. Hasn’t forgiven them since. But revenge wasn’t the only thing on the Boss’s mind currently. What really fascinated him about this casino were the various rumors in regards to an apparent mob connection. ‘So there are others here.’ he would initially think. It certainly made the goal of taking over this city a much harder one, but in the same vein it felt far more exciting now.

Whoever this apparent higher management was were definitely hard to track down. Maybe they’ll make themselves known once this whole job is over with. Who knows? He was more than looking forward to dealing with them in the future. But for now all that mattered was the acquisition of this establishment by any means necessary.

From the intel that was gathered it seemed as if there was a low number of patrons in the casino currently. Excellent. The fewer citizens they needed to deal with the better. Gave the Saints much more room to really go all out on their enemies. With everything now set in place it was time to move out. A portion of the gang would stay behind as there was an obvious need to have people here to look after their territory. The rest would ride towards the casino in various cars and trucks while the higher ups would find themselves in a limo the Boss had rented for the night. What better of a way to make an entrance then by coming in with style.

Even if tonight wasn’t one of their more particularly busier evenings there was still quite a number of people within the casino. Slots, blackjack, poker, you name it. Any and all forms of gambling resided within this building. The variety helped the people running this joint make quite the profit, not to mention it definitely wet their customers’ appetites into taking part in much more lucrative games with drastically higher stakes. It was a strategy that had helped them make a vast fortune here in Spirale, and it was all going to be toppled down in one night.

Out in the streets of Fibonacci the usual sounds one could hear throughout the ward were immediately drowned out by a limousine hurdling down towards the casino, music blasting from the inside of the vehicle. Several other vehicles followed alongside it almost as if this was a motorcade of some sort. Eventually they all arrived outside of the casino, the limousine pulling up right by the entrance. Stepping outside of the limo were a handful of people, some who may be recognizable to anyone who might have caught a glimpse of a certain weapons store robbery months ago.

Each one of them seemed to be carrying a handful of weapons; rifles, pistols, shotguns, knives, anything to prepare themselves for what was to occur. And as the group from the limousine made their way inside of the building a large number of people clad in purple followed behind them, some staying out by the entrance for what could only be assumed as a means to keep an eye on anyone who may try to enter or leave.

As soon as they were inside of the casino a member of security immediately spotted them and began making his way towards the large crowd. Yet before the poor bastard even had a chance to utter a single word or even make any kind of move, the smallest member of the group from the limousine used the umbrella she carried on her person to stab him repeatedly in the abdomen. Several dozen or so of the people clad in purple stayed behind to deal with anyone else in security, the rest heading into what would be described as the main part of the building which hosted all these casino games.

The largest of the limousine group, a man dressed in a fine suit and wearing what looked to be a high-tech mask that resembled an oni, quickly took the rifle strapped to his back and began firing it into the air in order to gather everyone’s attention. And just like that people were already screaming and trying their damn hardest to duck under any piece of furniture they could find out of fear of getting shot. As this went on security began frantically trying to get a hold of backup with no such luck. Seemed as if any means to communicate with people in other parts of the building or outside of it had been cut off. A panic had soon settled in; various members of staff trying to figure out who exactly were these guys. Did they have any relation to the two madmen who shot up the place months ago? No, couldn’t be. This was far more organized than that spur of the moment massacre.

It had to be a gang. But why target this place? Opportunity? A grudge? Could practically be anything. However, the reason really didn’t matter at the end of the day. These people had had the gall, no, the audacity to break into this building and act like they could do whatever the hell they wanted. That was not going to slide with any of the members of staff on board. They would do what they can to slaughter these fools and remind everyone what kind of power they held here.

Sadly that was not going to happen.

" Evening, people! Hope you’re all doing well tonight. ” says the large man in the oni mask, who at this point was thought to be the one in charge. “ Just wanted to quickly apologize for ruining any of the fun you might’ve been having. We kinda have some business that needs to be taken care of with the people running the joint here. Figured it’d be best to get it outta the way now rather than later. ” As he says this he makes his way towards one of the many tables littered about the area, climbing on top of it to use as a makeshift stage.

“ Now just so we’re clear none of you are involved with this little matter at all. So I figured it’d be best to ask y’all to leave the place and forget all about this. ” His tone now turns to one of sarcastic empathy despite his voice being modulated. “ I know, it must suck real bad to quit in the middle of that win streak you’re having. But I promise you all you’ll be compensated on your way out! Might not be a whole lot of Dust, sure, but I think it’s safe t’ say that with the money you’re receiving and the promise of not being caught in the middle of a shoot out you’re getting a pretty good fuckin’ deal right now. ”

Anyone with half a brain could realize how good this was. If they didn’t then that was their own damn fault, but the man in charge knew how people were. He knew what would sound good to them. A bit of money and their lives intact? In this situation that was basically a jackpot. Bit by bit people would make their way towards the front entrance, the people clad in purple compensating them for their time before shooing them off and making sure they wouldn’t say shit.

In truth there was bound to be a few dozen or so who would speak to authorities, but by the time any formal investigation would be made there wouldn’t be a trace of evidence to prove what exactly they witnessed.

With all patrons of this casino now having left it was time to actually get this show on the road. “ I think it’s pretty obvious what we intend to do here. You guys are smart, right? I’m sure one of you already went and tattled to whoever the fuck is running the place. Soooo let’s just get to it, huh? ” As he says this more and more of the ‘staff’ begins to enter from other parts of the building. Unfortunately they can’t make due with any outside help, but to them this seems to be enough. “ Oh fuck, where are my manners. Forgot to introduce myself! So, hi. I’m the Boss of the 3rd Street Saints. Pretty sure you might’ve heard of the gang and I here and there, yeah? I’ve heard a lot about you guys too. A whole lot of real interesting shit. ”

It’s difficult to tell with the mask on but there’s a clear sense that the Boss is smiling behind it. If anything the mask acts as a means to represent that given its design. “ I know you assholes are working for an even bigger set of assholes somewhere in this city. Don’t know who the hell they are just yet but I’m hoping t’ meet them sometime soon. Maybe they can take this as an open invitation for just that. ” As he lets out a laugh the rest of the casino’s ‘staff’ begins to draw weapons on the Boss and the Saints surrounding him. Just like his last encounter with them they were all armed to the teeth. How exciting.

Now if only the Boss knew what kind of chain reaction would be caused by this one act of defiance.

There was nothing more to say. Nothing more to do other than let the carnage start. And so with that the Boss gestures to his Saints to begin the fight, shouting out “ LEEEEEEEET’S GET IT ON! ” before racing over to a slot machine and ripping the device out of its place, using that monster strength of his to throw it at the opposition. He uses the confusion over his improvised weapon to begin firing away at much of the security personnel, ducking and weaving behind cover as he slowly makes his way to where he assumes the office of the man in charge here is.

@liketorchwork, @rooksassassin, @trggrhppy, @maxequerade, @harliquinn, @parasmol

#Isola Drabble ⚜

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literupture · 6 years ago

Text

Like On TV

Another fic about my Titan and The Drifter!

Summary: Vallory’s best friend Karyna has never met The Drifter.

Rating: M, for language and mild sexual content.

Ship: The Drifter x Female Guardian

Cross-posted on Fanfiction and Ao3.

"Enjoy."

"Thanks."

The sweet scent of fried gyoza and soy sauce wafted through the air as Vallory handed over glimmer to the cashier. The small girl behind the counter at the Tower's ramen stand attempted to give the Awoken Titan her change, but Vallory shook her head. "Keep it."

The cashier's eyes lit up. She looked like she had wanted to decline since it was quite a large amount of cash leftover, but instead she muttered a "thank you". Val smiled in response, glad for the fact that the restaurant owner let the employees keep any tips.

Carefully, she lifted the warm plate of dumplings and a bottle of soda from the service counter. Vallory looked beyond the customers at the nearby tables and bar stools and decided she wanted to sit up on the balcony. Most people didn't want to make the climb, but the view and the solitude was worth it.

She strode over to the staircase and began to climb. Normally, it wasn't hard for her to balance her meal, but this time the round dipping bowl containing the sauce was filled to the brim. It didn't help that there were several flights of stairs to the top. She took slow, calculated steps, glancing at the plate every now and then to make sure she hadn't spilled any.

At the top level, she let out a satisfied exhale--no liquid had escaped the container. Her bright yellow irises scanned the terrace; the only soul present was a gray pigeon searching for crumbs under a table.

She set down her food and drink on a table against the wall, far from the pigeon. Vallory didn't care for the City's pigeons, but her best friend, Karyna, had taken a liking to them. It made eating up here with her friend a bit of a pain since some of the birds were bold, and Val was certain that that was another reason why most of the patrons preferred the seating on the lower level.

The metal chair screeched as she pulled it out. Vallory moved to sit down, her eyes fixed on the still-steaming plate of gyoza.

"Val! Hi!"

Startled by the shrill voice, Vallory almost missed the chair. "Geez, Ryna. How the fuck did you get up here without me noticing?"

Before her stood a giggling girl in burnt-orange Warlock robes. The girl was short and slim, but her robes billowed out around her, giving her figure some volume. Her tanned skin was golden-brown under the string of decorative lights hanging overhead and brown hair framed her marked face in uneven chunks. In one of her gloved hands was a nearly-full plastic water bottle.

"Sorry," Karyna grinned. "Maybe I'm just that good. Or maybe you were too focused on your food, as usual. Or maybe I followed you and waited for you to pull out the chair before running up the stairs. Who knows. I could probably put a Hunter to shame, if I really tried."

Vallory couldn't help but smile at her energetic friend. Karyna could strike a conversation with just about anyone, but Val often struggled to break the ice. Words always tumbled out of Karyna, and Val somewhat adored how she could speak her mind so easily. Except...

"Oh no." Karyna sunk down into the chair opposite from the Titan, concern clear on her face. "Was that too cocky of me? I didn't mean for it to be. I was hanging out with some of the fledgling Hunters earlier, and they really like to show off. Like, everything was a competition to them. It was challenging to keep up with the constant one-upping."

Val raised an eyebrow, but offered a sympathetic smile. Though her friend was talkative, she often backtracked or apologized. It was good that she was mindful of other people's feelings, although it could be a bit much.

"You're good, Karyna. Don't worry." Vallory plucked a pair of chopsticks from the container on the table, but gestured to the clear bottle in front of the Warlock. "Since I'm sure that's not alcohol, is that water?"

The question seemed to pull Karyna from her despair; she sat upright and grabbed the plastic cylinder. "Yep!"

"No tea for you today?" Vallory asked, gingerly dipping a dumpling in sauce before popping it in her mouth. She took a moment to savor her food; the dumpling wrapper was slightly crispy but just soft enough that it nearly melted in her mouth, and its pork filling was juicy and packed with flavor. City food rarely disappointed her; she found it beneficial to frequent many different restaurants, even though she was a good cook herself.

"Nope, no tea for now," Karyna beamed, her hazel eyes alight with excitement. "I'm trying this new thing."

"And what would that be?"

"A spit-take!"

"A... what?" Vallory's eyebrows furrowed. "If I didn't know any better, I'd guess you were trying to pronounce the name of a mushroom," she paused, "I'd say 'a tasty mushroom', but there aren't many food items that aren't tasty, in my experience."

Karyna rolled her eyes at Vallory. The Titan simply continued eating.

"You know, a 'spit-take'." Val said nothing, only gave Karyna a curious glance while shoveling food into her mouth. "It's when one person says something shocking while another person is taking a drink, so the one drinking ends up spitting out their drink. Like on TV."

"Oh. I see. I think," Val said, contemplating Karyna's explanation as she chewed.

The young Warlock let out a frustrated sigh. "Sometimes I forget that you don't really watch... well, much of anything, really."

When Val opened her mouth to speak, Karyna cut her off with a wave of her hand. "Yeah, yeah, 'except for the stuff you make me watch'," she mocked, in her best impression of her friend.

She wasn't too keen on most of the movies and shows that her best friend showed her, but she enjoyed hanging out with her. In truth, Val liked a few of the things that they watched together. Whether she really remembered the titles or any of the names of the characters was another thing.

"Here, I'll give you an example. Say something shocking, something that would surprise me. And I promise I won't spit on your food."

Vallory was about to decline, but Karyna had already twisted the cap off her water bottle. She sighed as her friend tipped back the water into her mouth.

"Uh..."

Karyna looked expectantly at Val. But, this was her best friend--what could she say that she didn't already know?

"Cayde and I slept together, once."

The Warlock girl swallowed her water. "I knew that already."

"Really? How?" Val inquired, a confused expression on her face. "We hadn't told anyone. Well, I hadn't, until just now."

"Okay, I didn't exactly know. I just had a hunch. It was something I assumed, since you guys were close, and since you're rather proud of your promiscuity... I figured it was bound to happen." Karyna glanced over to see Val nodding slowly. "Wait, it was just once though? You guys weren't just friends-with-benefits or something?"

Vallory popped the last two dumplings into her mouth and chewed, and Karyna fidgeted impatiently. "Yeah. Just once. Entirely by accident, honestly. Cayde and I were close, but it was never anything more than good friends between us. At some point early on in our friendship, I considered trying to bang him, but he wouldn't let anything develop between us," she paused, taking a sip of her soda. "Not that he wasn't attracted. I think he had a lot of uh, feelings. For someone else. Whether it was stuff from the past or someone who was still alive, he never let on."

A look of sadness passed on Karyna's face. Val felt a pang of grief in her chest; this was probably the most she'd talked about the deceased Hunter Vanguard since they laid him to rest less than two weeks ago. She hated seeing her normally bubbly friend have anything but happiness and optimism on her face.

Finally, Karyna said, "You were never one for romance beyond the bedroom."

Val inclined her head in confirmation, then took another gulp of her drink. "Right. So I backed off. But one night, I think during the Solstice of Heroes, we both got absolutely shit-faced. We both drank our asses off for a whole day, and eventually crashed back at his place. We both blacked out, but when I woke up I was completely naked in his bed."

Whatever sadness that Karyna felt was replaced by laughter. "Oh man, I bet that was awkward!"

"Actually, not really. We just kinda looked at each other, laughed, Cayde said something snarky, and we moved on."

Karyna gazed at Vallory fondly. "That does sound like something you two would do, I suppose."

They shared a moment of warm silence that Val realized she couldn't share with anyone else. Perks of having a best friend.

"Anyway," Karyna spoke, breaking the silence. She took the bottle back into her hands. "That wasn't shocking enough."

"Alright," Vallory exhaled. She welcomed changing the subject, at least. The task at hand, however, was a difficult one.

She watched Karyna, who was eyeing her in anticipation, take more water into her mouth.

The two of them went through a cycle of Vallory attempting to say something incredulous, followed by Karyna failing to be surprised. Minutes passed; Karyna downed two thirds of her water already, and Val had gone through so many remarks that she was sure she'd have to start making stuff up.

"This is getting absurd."

"Ugh." Karyna, who had been sitting on top of the table for a while now, hopped down. "We'll work on it later. Maybe after you've had time to think, you'll have some sudden revelation or forgotten secret to share with me. Just make sure I have water at the ready." She swished the remainder of the water in the bottle at Val.

Vallory picked up her empty plate and half-full soda and stood up. "Sure," she replied, then walked over to the trash can and tossed the plate in. "What now?"

"I was gonna ask you the same."

They both sighed.

"Oh," Karyna started. "I got a weird message from like, almost a month ago? I think? Did you ever get one of those?"

"'Weird message'? Like, 'weird' how?"

"It was a message telling me to meet someone here, in a corner at the tower. Nearby here, actually," Locks of her hair spun as she craned her neck to look around.

"Wait--are you serious?" The look on Val's face turned from surprise to amusement as she realized to whom Karyna was referring. "You haven't met him yet?"

"Err... you have?"

"Well, yeah. I figured a lot of people had."

"I didn't really wanna go alone," Karyna said sheepishly.

"Well, let's go, then," Vallory decided, and walked toward the staircase.

"What, like, right now? But..."

"It'll be fine, trust me."

Vallory was already halfway down the stairs when Karyna muttered a reluctant "alright".

Karyna caught up to the Titan as she was passing the ramen shop. Val had only slowed her pace to give a slight wave to the cashier. "How far is this, exactly?"

"Just around the corner, actually." Val made a sharp left turn after the ramen shop. Before them was a gate, mostly closed; it was lifted roughly two and a half feet from the ground. An eerie pale green light emanated from the gap. Karyna stood behind her, unease clear on her face.

"I'm going in," Val said, crouching near the gate's opening. She ducked through, a motion that was becoming familiar to her.

On the other side stood a man in a long, dark green coat. Short black hair poked out of the bandanna tied around his forehead. His hands were clad in black gauntlets, and he gestured with them as he conversed with a small hunter. His blue eyes met Val's, and he gave her a slight nod, acknowledging her presence.

Karyna popped up beside her and clutched Val's arm firmly. For the shy girl, passing through the gate was an ocean and Val was safe, dry land.

Upon seeing the newcomers, the man in the coat became noticeably uninterested with his current conversation. "We can talk more later," he said, flashing the hunter a smile and patting his shoulder. The hunter seemed to get the idea; he sighed and moved past Vallory and out of the room.

"Well now," the man drawled, "A pretty lady with another gal wrapped 'round her arm."

"Hey, Drifter."

The man known as The Drifter flashed Vallory a toothy grin. "Hey, sister."

"This is Karyna. Friend of mine. She's a little late on the invitation."

"Nothin' wrong with that," he winked. "Name's Drifter."

Karyna looked from The Drifter to Val, then back to The Drifter. Val wore a smirk as she stared him down. "Uh, hi," she muttered.

"Can barely see ya back there. C'mon, I don't bite," he grinned. "'less you want me to, that is."

Karyna took a deep breath and mustered up her courage. "Okay," she said, and stepped forward. "What was that message about?"

The Drifter told the Warlock all about the operation he was running, "Gambit", he'd called it. Vallory peppered in a few comments since she was already familiar with The Drifter and his Gambit. Karyna was thankful for her friend's presence in the conversation, but she was wary of how comfortable Val was with this whole set up.

"Don't be a stranger," The Drifter called out after the two women as they left.

"Well, isn't he a charming fellow," Karyna said once they left The Drifter's corner. She twisted the cap off her water bottle and lifted it to her lips.

"I want him to rearrange my guts."

At that, Karyna spewed water from her mouth. She coughed and choked, and Val crossed her arms and had an amused expression on her face. The Warlock managed to sputter out a questioning "what" between coughs. After a few more moments of Karyna violently coughing, Val downed more of her soda and suggested that Karyna drink the water to clear her throat.

Karyna's coughing became less frequent. "What the hell, Val?" she stammered.

"What?" Val replied. "I don't know what's confusing about that." She paused, then offered, "I want to jump his bones."

Karyna glared at her. "I got that," she snapped. "I just didn't expect it, is all."

"For what it's worth, I think you nailed the spit-take."

#fanfiction #destiny #destiny 2 #the drifter #the drifter x oc #the drifter x female guardian #oc #drifter #my writing #destiny fanfiction

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kivaember · 6 years ago

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Obligatory Mass Effect Crossover

(I just. wanted. to worldbuild ffxiv into mass effect setting. ok tbh this is mostly FFXIV IN SPAAAACE but y’know. whatevs. i regret nothing!)

Dalamud always looked so ominous.

It was an artificial satellite the size of a small moon, glaring red and menacingly trailing after Menpina around Hydaelyn. ‘Menphina’s Loyal Hound’, it had been called when they as a civilisation were young and ignorant, before they realised that it was a weapon of mass destruction contained within an artificial shell. The aether around it was always warped, prone to unstable flares and splutters, to the point where they had a whole institution dedicated to predicting and mapping those flare ups to warn incoming and outgoing star vessels so they weren’t reduced to superheated atoms.

It was a relic of a very ancient, reckless past – a relic that was still very much in use. Due to the way it was, ah, constructed, only a select percentage of the population could ever work on it. Only 0.01% of Hydaelyn’s population won the genetic lottery to withstand the Elder Primal’s influences slumbering within that ancient relic, and an even smaller percentage of that actually had the skill, intellect and will to be charged with its day to day running. Dalamud was, despite being a weapon of mass destruction, Hydaelyn’s only source of infinite energy.

One of those very very very lucky few in charge of such an important, vital relic… was Aza.

---

“-ing naked when the snow falls around me! Drifting closer to the edge but She won’t have me!”

Aza hummed along to the song blasting through his helmet, idly tapping along the flickering Allagan display. The live support in the control room was still down, but considering that shit was over ten thousand years old and fine tuned for heavily genetically modified Allagan, it was never all that reliable. After an unfortunately incident a century ago where some poor sod asphyxiated to death, it was now mandatory to do maintenance work like you were ready to be spaced within the next thirty seconds.

“Wake up in sweat, full of regret, try to forget, these memories, lurking beneath, lost in a dream…”

The display flickered, and Aza frowned a little when the same error cropped up for the fifth time since his shift started. It was a minor thing – a miniscule percentage rise in temperature and aether harvesting, but it was really strange. There were no solar flares or weird space shit happening for aether levels to spike, so why…

“Unchosen paths, a broken path, forespoken wr- CHIRP. CHIRP. INCOMING CALL FROM FORWARD STATION: H A L O N E.”

“Damn it, just before the best part,” Aza muttered, sending a pulse of aether to the linkpearl insistently chirping in his ear, “Yeah, whaddya want?”

“Aza,” a very pleasantly familiar voice purred, “Is that any way to greet your partner?”

“Well, if it isn’t handsome!” Aza laughed, his mood buoying as he quickly adjusted the little error flashing across the Allagan display. It resolved itself and Dalamud stopped overproducing aether. He leaned on the console and made himself comfortable, his tail lifting in pleasure, “I thought you weren’t back from New Ishgard until the end of the year? Not that I'm complaining. I missed you, gorgeous.”

“And I missed you too, love," Aymeric returned with such warmth is made Aza's heart want to burst into glittery confetti, even if the crappy reception distorted his partner's voice. Seriously, it was good to hear his voice again! The Comm Buoys were still absolute dog wank between Ishgard's newest colony and Hydaelyn, so he greedily drank up every crackly word from his linkpearl, "I returned early as Haurchefant seemed to be handling its administrative and military duties well enough on his own despite the complaints of his ‘conduct’. He was performing well above the standard, to be honest.”

“Whaaat?" Aza gasped in utter outrage, "Who’s complaining about Haurchefant? He’s an absolute sweetheart!”

“Yes, he’s also pure and ‘best boy’, whatever that means,” Aza could practically feel Aymeric's eyeroll, “Unfortunately, his appointment to a rather prestigious position has ruffled more than a few feathers in the House of Lords-”

“Is this because he’s a gay bastard?” Aza harrumphed, “Have they forgotten that their stupid Prime Minister is also a gay bastard? There’re even photos of you being one all over the Aethernet," he adopted a sly, teasing tone, "I really like the drunken one. Y’know, the one where you’re caught groping my ass during that horrible dinner party?”

“Oh Gods, I almost forgot about that,” Aymeric groaned, sounding like he was in physical pain, “Mobbed by journalists for weeks after that, demanding to know all sorts of obscene details…”

“Yeah, I remember you having to do evasive manoeuvres every time you had to go outside. Funny as shit,” Aza sniggered and swept a bit of dust off the Allagan keyboard, taking care not to accidentally input anything. These things were unpredictable. As they were created to interface directly to an Allagan’s brain implant they tended to get confused if you rubbed your grubby hands all over them without keeping a tight lid on your ambient aether.

“So, what’re you doing on the forward station? I thought you would’ve been keen to go straight home?”

“Dalamud is being a little testy today, it seems,” Aymeric said, sounding slightly sulky, “We’re held here until it either calms, or travels to the other side of Hydaelyn, before we can board the landing shuttle.”

“And, of course, you decided to abuse your World Leader privileges to talk to your lonely boyfriend via the control room's comms?”

“I may as well cash in on some sort of privileges for all the torture my government puts me through.”

Aza laughed, pushing up from the console when that annoyingly, persistent little error flickered up again. It was beginning to worry him now. Dalamud was old as shit, so it was believable that program breaking bugs could start developing in the highly complicated system. Even after several thousand years of study, the only explanation magitek engineers and aetherochemical scientists had for how it worked was a shrug and ‘Primal Magic’?

A lot of unexplainable things were chalked up to ‘Primal Magic’… or the ‘Mothercrystal’.

Aza had to spend approximately seven years in Val University to even scratch the surface of how to work the damn console. He knew enough to identify minor errors like these, and to divert major disasters like the venting systems failing, or one of the Meracydian dragons somehow breaking free of their prisons and running amok. The last one was always the hardest – he always felt extreme pity for them, but the law was firm: if they weren’t in stasis, they had to be culled due to the danger they presented to the workers and Dalamud itself. If even one managed to rouse the Elder Primal, they were fucked. End of.

But those were easy issues to deal with, well within his power, no matter how mentally or emotionally draining. But if he was asked to really get into the technicalities… he was clueless. Dalamud was a work of art that was incomprehensible to anyone not Allagan – which was everyone, nowadays. Most he could do was try and mitigate the damage by engaging its thrusters and hoping to fuck he launched it far away enough that the resulting implosion wouldn’t totally wipe out all life in the solar system.

“Aza? You still there? It's quiet.”

"Oh, sorry," Aza gave a small shake of his head to clear the sudden cobwebs, "I was thinking."

"About...?" Aymeric asked with an amused lilt to his voice.

"About..." Aza looked at the glow of the display with a small frown, hearing and feeling the whole structure around him groan and shudder. An ancient prison that held equally ancient prisoners in eternal torment. It was kind of sick they were still using this thing, really. He was struck with an odd, fleeting urge to force it into the sun - which he quickly discarded, because that would just break the Elder Primal free, who was unfortunately sun-proof (is that the word?) and able to survive in the vacuum of space. Still, he just didn't like the fact he was standing one floor above an entire hold crammed with Meracydians contorted into tiny stasis capsules, kept on the very cusp of consciousness in burning pain, to fuel the Elder Primal's existence. There wasn't anything they could safely do about it unless they broke themselves free, but it still felt all... wrong and made him feel kinda bad, more so today.

"Just thinking how horrible Dalamud is," he said honestly, because he could never really lie to Aymeric, even if his partner was hoping for some light, easy banter, "About a month ago one of the locks on a Meracydian's stasis capsule broke and opened up. I always thought it were adults in there, y'know? But it wasn't. It was some dragon pup, just squirming in that stasis goo shit, all... deformed and in pain. I got rid of it like I was meant to, I mean, it was kinder to, right? But, it's still... the... I don't know..." he trailed off.

Aymeric was quiet for a long moment, then; "...how many consecutive days have you worked?"

"I don't know," Aza said, and he felt mildly alarmed at that. He should know how many days he worked. He was meant to track that shit strictly, "Uh, seventy?"

"Long shifts too?"

"Twelve hours, yeah," Or thirteen? It was difficult to tell the time passing here sometimes.

"Is your superior still Y'shtola?" Aymeric asked, but he didn't wait for confirmation, "I saw her not too long ago on the station. I'll speak to her and have you placed on a mental wellness break starting today."

"What- no, Aym, c'mon, it's not that bad," Aza groaned, but... well, maybe his partner had a point? He had been sulking on here because he felt lonely and bored without Aymeric around, and everyone else was busy helping colonisation efforts beyond the solar system, adventuring and shit, while Aza was stuck in Horrible Space Prison. Only a certain type of person could really work here - it wasn't just the very rare gift of the Echo being a necessity, it was having the iron will to endure the strained, screeching edge to the surrounding aether as millions of lives existed in perpetual, pitiful agony all around you, it was enduring that almost sick, corrosive heaviness the Elder Primal exuded even in sleep. It was just... being able to endure. There was always a very real, dangerous risk succumbing to the Elder Primal's influence, Echo or not, if your will faltered for even a moment. While you wouldn't reach the mindless, slavish devotion most Indoctrinated people would, you were still at risk of developing violent paranoia, hallucinations and suicidal depression. Needless to say, Dalamud had a very high 'on the job' death statistic.

It did mean you had a lot of paid sick days. You were allowed to just take breaks whenever you felt you needed them, since it was proven space and time away from the Elder Primal's influence lessened its effects dramatically. But the whole thing still sucked.

"You've lost track of your days, and you're sounding a little off," Aymeric said in that no-nonsense tone of his which meant Aza had already lost, "Quite frankly, I'm amazed it hasn't been picked up on yet. How long until your shift ends?"

"Uh, I have... two more hours?"

"One hour."

"Uh-?"

"I'll speak to you later, love," Aymeric said, "I need to hunt down Y'shtola."

"Aym-" Click. "Arrrgh, c'mon...!"

---

There was something unexplainably good about having your feet firmly on Terra Firma again.

Dalamud’s Caretakers tended to live on Forward Station Halone until they took a mental wellness break. Sometimes this could be months, or even years in particularly resilient individuals, for Aza it was six months since he last set foot on it, when he said goodbye to Aymeric at the shuttle station and not expecting to see him again for another year.

That was an unexplainably good thing too, having Aymeric back.

“New Ishgard is a cold planet,” Aymeric murmured, his large, firm hands gently kneading up and down along his back. He had insisted, even though he must be tired from his long voyage, and Aza was very glad he hadn’t rejected the massage. He could just feel all the tension that had accumulated from those six months on Fucked Up Moon Prison just melting away beneath Aymeric’s gentle touch. He never wanted those hands to leave again, “It can reach -32C on a regular business, requiring specialised survival gear to range outside of the settlements, but it has rich deposit of industrial minerals and ice that we can exploit. Haurchefant is very optimistic about its prospects, despite the, ah, harsh environment.”

“Mm…” Aza could almost imagine it. The needle-sharp smell of snow, the biting cold wind, the ice crunching beneath your boots… “Ice for… nearby stations?”

“That’s right. It will be a source of reliable water if we decide to range further,” Aymeric’s hands paused at the small of his back, and… ah, a gentle press of lips between his shoulder blades. Aza arched to the touch with a low, happy purr, “Do you want to visit it?”

“Mm, yeah,” Aza mumbled, “I wanna see it.”

It wouldn’t happen. Dalamud’s Caretakers were actively discouraged from leaving the immediate Solar System, but there was always that glimmer of hope. If, maybe, they got a large influx of prospective hopefuls, so it wasn’t just ten of them, endlessly cycling in and out and battling the encroaching pressure of the Elder Primal. When Aza had learned he had the Echo, he had been so happy, thinking he could be placed on the Exploratory Team, ready to help colonists in potential First Contact scenarios if need be and acting as force protection.

But he didn’t. Bluebird got that. He was shuffled off to Dalamud’s Caretakers when his Echo scores ranked the highest they’d seen in well over a millennium. It had broken his heart. You couldn’t exactly say no to it.

“One day,” Aymeric murmured against his shoulder, “You’ll see it. You’ll see all the colonies we’ve made. You will not be at Dalamud forever, love.”

“Feels like I’ll be there forever,” he mumbled against the pillow.

Aymeric bit him, gently, but he got the message. He huffed out a sigh that slowly transitioned into a low groan when his partner’s hands started kneading along his tense back again. He melted beneath his touch, and those dim, gloomy thoughts faded a little more into the background. Aymeric was right, he wouldn’t be at Dalamud forever. There was a strict retirement age of forty.

Three more years. He could manage that.

---

Approximately thirty-three million malms away, a tiny, insignificant ice moon in orbit to Rhalgr, the Red Planet, began to shudder.

Dalamud, as distant as it was, registered a spike of unknown energy within the solar system. Automatic systems began to warm up from millennia of disuse at the perceived potential threat, the ancient, complicated machine churning through dusty old programming to decide its proper course of action. The ice moon continued to shudder with such force that its surface began to crack, and Dalamud slotted the unknown event into its targeting solutions.

This was at 2300hrs, 16 04 102018. Last logged event was approximately 10000 years ago, when a cataclysmic tectonic event shifted the entirety of Hydaelyn’s surface. Dalamud was then placed into passive-mode when X A N D E C O N T R O L T O W E R went offline and no further commands were offered. Dalamud scanned for X A N D E C O N T R O L T O W E R and received no response. No response. No response.

At 0001hrs, 17 04 102018, the ice moon violently broke apart. The alien energy spiked. Dalamud calculated and considered. Scanning anomaly. Scanning… scanning… scanning…

0010hrs, 17 04 102018, unknown alien object emerged from ice moon. Energy spikes further.

0012hrs, 17 04 102018, multiple unknown alien objects arrive into solar systems at lightspeed. Alien energy signature violently dispersed. Unknown alien objects were U N R E C O G N I S E D, therefore default to last logged behaviour when confronted with unrecognised intrusion: A G G R E S S I V E P O S T U R E.

Weapon systems were sluggish with disuse. Dalamud increased aetherical input. Elder Primal’s consciousness rose by 0.2%. Within acceptable parameters.

0014hrs, 17 04 102018, targeting solutions complete. Alien objects still U N R E C O G N I S E D, still initiating A G G R E S S I V E P O S T U R E, conclusion is D E S T R U C T I O N O F I N T R U D E R S.

W E A P O N S Y S T E M A H K M O R N R E A D I E D.

T A R G E T S A C Q U I R E D.

A H K M O R N I N I T I A T E D.

F I R I N G.

---

Dalamud, a weapon of mass destruction, built at the pinnacle of the Allagan Empire in anticipation to assist them in dominating their immediate solar system, directed a controlled Ahk Morn through the vacuum of space toward the intruders. In a blink of an eye, it travelled multiple lightyears and speared through the collected fleet of alien ships that had leapt from the unknown, alien object with devastating effect.

It was a very bombastic First Contact with the Citadel Council.

#ffxiv #fanfic #warrior of light #aymeric de borel #mass effect crossover wooooo #i regret nothing #it's mostly worldbuilding so probs boring #oops

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aurimeanswind · 6 years ago

Text

Back Again—Sunday Chats—7/8/18

Welcome Back!

It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these, and I wanted to open up with a bit of a litany of excuses as to why that is! I know when you’re just on the outside looking in its hard to know exactly why I haven’t been posting these or asking questions, or really anything on Sundays. It’s a combination of things.

First of all, the last two Sundays I have not been home to write up Sunday Chats. Three weeks ago I was in Cuba! Well, technically I was at Key West, the day before I’d go to Cuba, on a cruise ship. Most importantly, the only internet access I had was through the data on my cell phone, and so I couldn’t really post Sunday Chats. In theory, I could solicit questions via my phone, I could write it up offline, and then go on and post it when I’d get home the following Wednesday, but I really didn’t want to because it was honestly a genuine vacation for me. I wanted to kind of check out and try and not be online so much. Of course, I failed a little bit in this regard, I was checking Twitter ravenously any time I had an internet connection, because I have a problem. For the most part, when I was off on my cruise with my mom and my brothers three weeks ago, I was without an internet connection, and it was a little nice, but also a little stressful.

The week before that, it was E3! We were living in the Microsoft/Bethesda press conferences! I was going to write something that day but honestly between the post shows and just consuming E3 I honestly did not have time. I’ve done like, reaction write ups in the past, but I was a bit more down to live in the moment this go around.

Then I was in San Francisco! It was the day after Kinda Funny Prom, which was lovely, we’ll get to that in a bit, but that Sunday I was seeing a movie with Barrett Courtney, my sweet boy, and was just exhausted after KFP and everything then. I had stayed up way too late the night before talking games and eating pizza. I had a great time, but I was still pretty checked out.

The Sunday between those two, I was completely exhausted. Honestly? I’m still exhausted. The best thing, I think, to alleviate my normal “post-con depression” type thing I get after a Kinda Funny Live event and seeing all my friends is taking another, separate vacation just beforehand. I had barely enough time to stay at home and just sit on my couch and play video games before suddenly being whisked off to San Francisco. So getting home, I am just so happy to be home, to be sleeping in my pitch-black room on my comfy foam mattress. To lay on my couch and play whatever video game I want (which mostly has been Tales of Vesperia... again) and just... relax. Ya know what I mean? I just want to relax. I’m a solitary person. I’ve talked many a-time before on here, but I just love to be alone a lot. And I just want to be alone sometimes, especially after several back-to-back socially exhausting experiences.

And that’s a big part about why I’ve been so crappy about doing Sunday Chats consistently. Even before this last month of vacations I’ve been very touch and go about SC. Now that I have fully transitioned into being a full time employee, I work a lot more than my body is used to, even if I am four months into my new role at my job. It’s a lot for me. And I’m barely keeping up with my IP work of being an editor there. And that’s, I think, more important, because I am making decisions and a team is relying on me for that.

I essentially circle around two days off a week, Wednesday and Sunday, and so I work Thursday-Friday-Saturday, plus I have the podcast on Friday nights. Without getting too into the details, Saturdays at my job take quite a toll. Like, a lot on me, so just making it to Sunday, I’ve genuinely forgotten completely about Sunday Chats because I am sleeping in and resting and just trying to get my bearings. I know it’s not much of an excuse, but I’m hoping to turn Sundays into equally as productive days as they are relaxing. It’s just about finding that balance.

As per usual, my trip to San Francisco was motivational in some ways, so I feel inspired to continue to work harder and do more now that I’m home, and hopefully that can last me until PAX West in a couple months.

But that’s generally where the status of Sunday Chats is. As a big update, while not going into effect quite yet (maybe not even for months) but Sunday Chats will soon transition to be a full feature on IrrationalPassions.com. I think it’s a natural transition and it makes sense. It’ll still be available and accessible to all, but I want to play around with some format ideas I have, and I think it makes sense to be there since it is, predominantly, about video games, as it always kind of was. I want to have these heartfelt chats there, because I think as the “editor-in-chief” of the site, it helps build a rapport with the audience of that site which seems to grow every month.

Now that’s all done, let’s get to the editorial!

My Feelings and Emotions in San Francisco

I like this title because it’s just all about the feels. As many frequent Sunday Chats readers would know, depression is just slowly becoming one and the same with me. Like two amorphous blobs just close enough to each other that they become one. Like slime enemies from Dungeons & Dragons that just jell together on spiritual and self-hatred-like level.

So I’ve been through a rough like... 2018 to be honest. And so being in a place where I was just genuinely surrounded by affection and good vibes was really, really moving for me. I put out a twitter thread about the feeling which I think encapsulates most of what I’d want to say, and you can read that here.

But a big thing is how being in SF has proven to be a huge opportunity for me in the past: a time to “schmooze” as some people say, and talk to people, make connections, market yourself, or just meet as many people as you can and spread “the brand” as much as possible. And honestly, I just wasn’t here for that this year. I’ve gotten to a very, maybe even regressive place in my life, where I’d rather not get out there and try and be at the center of things and meet as many folks as possible. There were certainly several folks I had never met before that I wanted to meet, but for the most part I spent that time focusing on more intimate interactions with specific people.

A lot of this manifested in folks I’ve admired for a great long while, and that’s the fellows at OK Beast. I got to have a real heart to heart with Ian Preschel, someone I just haven’t been as close to for whatever dozen reasons that usually amount to time, and understand him better as a person. I got to have an emotional moment with Moises, someone I admire so goddamn much and for some reason keeps saying I’m the reason he started writing. I got to spitball ideas with Alex Van Aken, my fellow Alex-in-Arms, and share the wonders of running a business Slack with Blessing. They’re people I just genuinely look up to and inspire me legitimately every day, and I’m excited and hopeful to collaborate with them in the future. I have nothing but love for all of them, including Brandon, wherever he is out there.

I got to spend a ton of time with Barrett and Alyssa, my hosts, and Jacob Bryant who was also rooming with me at their place. They’re just family to me. Enough said.

I got to spend a huge chunk of time with Nicole Humphrey and Cameron Abbott, two very special friends to me, and for reasons I’d rather not put on blast here, it was very important to me that this time was worked into my trip, and I’m so glad it was.

Those dense, meaningful interactions are what I live for. It’s literally why I started the show Get Acquainted (new episodes coming soon I promise!) and they were the highlights of the weekend. I won’t list them all here, but suffice to say on a personal level this trip was very important to me, rather than on a “business level” which it has been for me in the past.

Thank you all for being open to wasting your time with me, I’ll be forever grateful.

ONTO GAMES.

What’s On Tap

Hollow Knight

I HAVEN’T TALKED ABOUT THIS GAME ON SUNDAY CHATS AT ALL YET AND IT’S INCREDIBLE OMG.

I love this game.

Final game time was 42h and 7m, and all of it was excellent. Well... Not all of it, there were a couple very frustrating bosses. But most of it was excellent.

One of the best Metroidvanias ever made. Symphony of the Night, Super Metroid, Ori and the Blind Forest, Hollow Knight, and Metroid Prime are the best of the genre full stop. It sits proudly in that number.

Don’t think. Play it.

Unless you really don’t like hard games, because it’s very difficult, but crazy rewarding!

Ys VIII

I just got this pretty recently and am only about four or so hours in, and so far it’s just a wonderful delight.

Compared to the demo I played a great many months ago on PS4, the Switch version does take quite the graphical hit, especially if you have a hangup about anti-aliasing. There are a LOT of jaggies to be seen here

BUT, I think performance wise it’s still very solid. Some hitches here and there, but during combat it’s generally smooth, and that’s what’s most important.

Very good. Recommended.

Captain Spirit

Honestly, there is too much to say here. Don’t hesitate, go play this. I do not care if you’re like Jurge Cruz (social media editor at IP) and are dead inside and don’t like Captain Spirit. It’s free. Go play it.

Nuff. Said.

More thoughts coming soon.

Questions

Remember you can tweet me your questions by looking for my tweet with #SundayChats in it on Sunday afternoons, and you can be a part of this write up! Much love to everyone who always shows up (I’m looking at you Brandon Gann! <3)!

Goddammit Tyler you keep asking me wrestling shit and you know I hate wrestling...

Uhh...

What if I just showed up and was Noctis?

Originally posted by ffxvcaps

A great many things! Event wise, I’m very excited about PAX West. Assuming I can still make it, which I should be able to, it’ll be a blast.

Plus there are new shows and new things coming from IP soon that I am just hyped for.

But let’s be honest with each other? Okay? Let’s all be real here?

Motherfucking Tales of Vesperia Definitive Edition.

‘Nuff said.

My favorite Romantic Comedy of All Time just so happens to also be my favorite movie of all time, Silver Linings Playbook.

It is, in my humble opinion, a perfect film. It is the only movie I have watched over 10 times.

It’s very important to me, and while it may seem dumb to many of you, it told me that even fucked up bad people like me can find love in both themselves and others. And I really needed to hear that when that movie found its way to me in 2013.

Good LORD am I the WORST to ask about this. Well, first, Jamie. It was a goddamn pleasure meeting you at prom.

I mean, look at us:

I was very drunk and I’m so sorry.

But on a real level, a few things.

First, I did this horrible thing where I wrote everyday for almost three years straight and that was just a self-made torture and I have to keep myself in shape motivationally speaking or else I’ll have to do that again. And that sounds torturous. But as far as building strong habits I think that did help a lot. I mean, Sunday Chats is a direct by product of that, and I think generally people seem to like SC.

Second, I spend a lot of my brain energy trying not to worry about shit I have zero control over. If I misread a text and think someone hates me for whatever reason, which I do pretty much on a daily basis, I’m either going to text them back and ask, or do nothing, and if I’ve decided to do nothing, then I don’t get to be upset about it. If someone is doing some wack shit, I’m either gonna keep talking to them, or nah. Just do it, and everything else, well there is nothing you can do about it. Usually. But my depressed-adled and crazy-ass garbage brain still spends many an hour worrying about things I have no control over. But I’ll say this, as I’ve gotten older, I’ve gotten better at it. Skill comes with time and age.

Third, I think finding someone on relatively equal footing as you but maybe doing something better or more interesting or just simply different than you can really be motivational. It’s easy to get demotivated by someone else’s success, but words I try and hold onto every goddamn day are “someone else’s success does not equate to your failure”.

I hope that helps!

I have not had a lot this year, unfortunately. Avengers was great? I looooved Ant Man and the Wasp! Adored it. Just saw it yesterday (on Sunday, actually!) and it was phenomenal.

But outside of that I don’t have much. It’s crazy to say that in a year where a new JK Rowling Harry Potter movie is coming out, but Johnny Depp is in that movie and he is fucking human trash and for some reason WB is letting him just waltz around like he hasn’t done horrific things.

But anyway, I’d very much like to see Fireworks, from the same folks what made Your Name, but the dub wasn’t playing anytime I could see it this past weekend. :(

Maybe if it goes up on streaming soon (which I’m hopeful it will) I can see it.

Outside of that, I got nothing.

As someone who actively dislikes breakfast and most breakfast food, this is tricky for me to answer. I know your whole breakfast fetish Quin, so I won’t shit on you here, but I guess it’d just be a simple bagel (everything bagel. or poppy seed, depending on my mood) or maybe pancakes/waffles.

My thing is waffles/pancakes aren’t breakfast food, they’re anytime food. Or 1am food.

I have traveled a lot yes, but it’s been to a lot of the same places over and over again unfortunately. Not that that’s necessarily bad, but it’s been a lot of SF, Boston, etc, etc.

Having just gone to Cuba, I finally have a passport! So it’s time.

It’s time Japan. I’m coming to you.

And hopefully Ireland too. But those trips will likely have to wait a bit and be very far from one another.

ISLAND BOY!

Well, that is a nightmare scenario for me, because I’d definitely die very quickly. BUT. If I had to choose.

First up would be Bentley from Sly Cooper, because he is a big needy nerd like me and would want to get the hell out of there ASAP just as much as I do, and he could make like, a series of small helicopters out of coconuts or some shit.

SECONDLY.... Hrmm.... harder choice.

There is a really great joke here about choosing Fi from Skyward Sword because maybe she could just DOUSE our way to a better situation, heaven knows...

But I’m mostly above that.

I’d say Cappy from Mairo Odyssey just because I just looked at my Cappy hat and it’d be fun to just capture turtles and crabs and stuff on the island. Not Bentley, he’d consider that an invasion of privacy.

I don’t know if YOU should get Detroit, but I absolutely love it. I’d say read Logan Wilkinson’s excellent review of the game, available here:

http://irrationalpassions.com/detroit-become-human-review/

He liked one relationship in that game a lot more than I did, but generally we’re on the same page with it. I love the game, and if Heavy Rain did anything for you then I think Detroit is better in just about every way.

I’ll say this: it’s not like 2018 has been BANGERs for me, but after 2017, where two of my new favorite games EVER came out (Breath of the Wild and Persona 5) it’s just so impossible to follow that up. That being said, I’m medium to high excited about MANY games this fall: Spyro, Tomb Raider, Valkyria Chronicles, AC Odyssey, Life is Strange S2, Code Vein, Darksiders 3, and Smash Bros. That’s a whole lot in just three short months to eat up like some yummy yummy candy.

So while I think he first half of 2018 has been pretty great, mostly because of Hollow Knight, but also Ni No Kuni 2, Celeste, Yakuza 6, and Moonlighter, its still been good. It’s been a big one for me to reconnect with my indie darlings. And that’s big for me.

I hope that helps!

Checklist

It’s been a while eh?

Well here are some recs!

“The Short But Chilling ‘Captain Spirit’ Weaponizes Empathy Against You” - Patrick Klepek - Waypoint.

I have barely read this but everything about it jives with me. Another one to check out only after you’ve played Captain Spirit, which I assume all of you are going to do, because it’s free, and because I asked you so nicely to do so.

The Music of Persona 4 Golden - Blessing Adeoye - OKBeast.com

I mean, it’s about arguably the best video game soundtrack of all time, from one of the best music-takers in games, that just so happens to be on my favorite video game of all time. What do you want? Go watch.

OK Beast Podcast Episode 100 - OKBeast.com

I’ve found myself far more into OKBP since they merged OKB and PPR into one show. Here is their 100th episode, where they decided to rank the best 100 video games ever. For some reason.

Like, what if on Ep 400 of IPP we ranked the top 400 video games of all time? Fuck that.

Love those boys.

That’s it. That’s all she wrote. Or rather, that’s all I wrote. Sorry this posted Monday, I hadn’t checked my work schedule for a minute and then I saw at like, 8:30pm I had to open today and that means I have to wake up at 6am and I figured I should be responsible and get a full night’s sleep. Still didn’t fall asleep until about 10:30am, but I wrote some of this last night.

I’m rambling.

I love you all.

Do me a favor though?

Keep it real.

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godzillamendoza · 7 years ago

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Leaving Behind 2017 - Relationships are haaaarrrrdddd

So much to some people’s surprise I’m sure, I’ve been with a couple girls this past year. Like real ones, not those ones that holographically project themselves over prostitutes that you can install in your ceiling. (does anyone get that joke? No one saw that movie but me, right?) Ah jeez.

Gotta learn to quit automatically deflecting with humor when something stressful comes up. Gahh! This is a healing/learning experience.

Okay, so context is important. I know all of this is stuff from before 2017, but it leads into how this year went so its important to cover: in 2015 I had my first girlfriend, whom I shall not refer to by name. She and I dated on and off for about 5 months and it was the first real relationship I had been in. We started dating after I told her no 2 times. The third time she asked me to be her boyfriend, her friend was there and they sort of pressured me into it so I just went with it. Then I had my first kiss with a crowd of her friends standing around me, watching to make sure I followed through on the day after. The majority of our conversations were through text or skype, even though we went to the same school. She was just too busy to ever hang out with me outside of school. She was often jealous of me talking to other girls, she mocked me constantly and called all my hobbies “nerd shit” and rolled her eyes at me when I said I didn’t want to smoke weed with her. Then she told me she’d be hanging out with a guy named Patrick at her house after she met him over snapchat. I was obviously a little worried about it and she told me I was being controlling and needed to back off, so I did. Then a week later I tracked down Patrick and confronted him, asking why she was suddenly so cold and distant. He bragged to me about how good of a time they had together and how she complained about me constantly. He said the sentence “she’ll be mine by the end of the week.” Being cheated on by your first girlfriend in addition to some emotional abuse and being kept at a distance constantly... well all of it is like a perfect storm of PROBLEMS that you’ll have to deal with later. We broke up after I told her that I knew what they did, though it was like 2 weeks later because I was naive and forgiving at first. She’s dated around 5-7 people since that venture ended 2 years ago, so clearly she learned a lot from it. She also offered to go out with my again while she was dating another guy, which caused me to... well let’s just say I wrote a very long, very mean spirited message that I don’t regret.

Naturally, after all that, my self esteem was subterranean. I had a lot of image problems due to her comments on my appearance. I had severe trust issues with... well pretty much everyone. I had problems liking myself and I just needed outlets to focus on while I was lost. So I started making more videos on comic book stuff. While I was dating this girl I made a short video essay/editorial thing on my thoughts for casting Spider-Man in the Marvel cinematic universe. She was quick to dismiss it, but I felt like it was the first thing on YT that I was truly proud of and I wanted to make more. After we broke up I did that video about Spider-Man videogames you might have seen once or twice. It currently has over 400 THOUSAND views. I owe it to this girl I suppose, she made me so miserable that I accidentally became a z-list internet celebrity to take my mind off being miserable. It didn’t exactly fix my emotional issues, but it was a coping method that was better than becoming a meth addict or something.

--so on to 2017. This was the year where I started dating again. Obviously I would still have a lot of baggage after that first girl and everything that happened with her. I met a rather mousy girl in high school who I’ll refer to as... uh... how about Sandra? That’s extremely far off from her real name. Sandra. Well anyway, I met Sandra in high school and we kinda became friends. I wasn’t all that attracted to her physically. I’m still not. She’s not ugly, nor is it a shallowness thing, she’s just not really my type. I’m not the guy to just “take whatever I can get.” So it was a difficult decision when she told me how utterly heartbroken she was when she had no date to prom. I figured it would give me a good excuse to go to the prom and I would be making someone else happy, so I took her. And from that point forward she became rather infatuated with me and I made the hideous mistake of “just going with it” so I didn’t hurt her feelings. I tried my damnedest to find things to like about her as a girlfriend, but we were really a pretty bad fit. Plus, we had this sort of non-commital and strange relationship where we didn’t consider ourselves a couple, but still ended up holding hands or hanging out outside of school a lot. Sandra had never dated anyone before and I was a trainwreck because of the girl from 2015, so it was this stilted and halfhearted attempt at romance.

She wrote me a letter once, confessing her feelings about me and the way she thought of me at night. She was too nervous to give it to me in person, and had a mutual friend deliver the note. It was full of grammatical and spelling errors, and her handwriting lacked something to be desired. I was both honored... and slightly put off by it. She was 18 years old, with her own car and a paying job, but her methods of going after this relationship reminded me of the silly things I did in 5th grade. I guess that’s when I realized that I couldn’t keep leading her on and that it wasn’t really meant to be. I was looking for something a little more serious and age appropriate, but she still couldn’t handle something like that and I didn’t really feel for her how she felt for me. So I... just couldn’t figure out what to tell her. I ended up using graduation as a means to distance myself. We were moving off to different colleges with different goals and ambitions. I felt guilt for a long time for just brushing her off without saying anything beyond “I’m not really at a good place for a relationship right now, mentally.” Which was the truth, but I felt like I could have said more. We’ll put a pin in the story of Sandra for the time being, because it has a more clear resolution later.

Shortly before graduation, I received a piece of fan art on twitter that was truly special. It was probably one of the most accurate and detailed pictures of me anyone had ever drawn. Whoever did it clearly spent a lot of time staring at my old mug to make it happen and I was really impressed with it. I showed it to my classmates to not-so-humbly brag about my following online (come on, I had to be excited about something SOMETIMES, its not like I did it more than that one time). Then to my surprise I saw that there was a particularly pretty girl in the profile picture of the person that sent me this piece of fan art. I think my female audience is kind of small, so I was really happy to see one of them sending fan art and kind words. Plus I thought she was cute.

I sent her a DM on twitter saying that I thought it was really cool and probably one of my favorite pieces of fan art ever, she responded and we just kind of started talking from there. The more I learned about her, the more I liked her. We had a SCARY amount of things in common. Like, favorite comics, movies, books. We shared a similar sense of humor, we had the same extremely jaded reaction to fictional violence and laughed while looking at covers of “Crossed” together. We even took the same type of antidepressant medication. I fell for her really quickly, probably in the first 15 minutes of what would be a 9 hour conversation. Of course our mutual insomnia kept us from caring about sleep and we just kept talking and sharing stories and pictures of cosplay. I felt like I had never felt before. For the sake of protecting her identity, let’s say her name is uh... Lila. Sure, some of you internet detectives might be able to find out her real name, but I ask you... please don’t harass her or ask her about any of this. Respect her privacy, respect her decisions, and respect her in general.

So, Lila and I made an amazing match it seemed. She made me feel... like I had been found after being lost again. Part of me resigned to this notion that I’d never meet a girl who I had things in common with. Maybe I’d live my life with my interests and dreams being silly to the women I spent my time with, or worse, boring. Lila treated me like the things that I did and talked about were interesting. She thought I was cool. It helped undo a lot of self loathing just talking to her for that first 3 days. I was walking with a spring in my step at school for the final few days, I was singing in my choir class instead of just lip syncing, I was acting like I didn’t care what anyone thought of me, because at least she thought I was interesting, and that was all I needed. In a way, just meeting her was what I needed to get over a lot of pain, and I’ll always be thankful for her giving that to me. We didn’t have to be in a relationship, I just needed the validation of knowing girls like her existed. She stayed up until 4 Am with me on school nights, talking with me through text or skype helping me stay awake to finish studying for my geography test. We spent hours just talking about our lives and what we thought of the world. We shared our experiences battling depression. Eventually she told me that I made her happy when nothing else could and I said the same. In almost a week it felt like we knew each other for a life-time. So at 3 AM one night I asked her to be my girlfriend and she said yes. The problem with that was... she lived in a different country.

I never really considered that part until after it was too late. Long distance relationships have always seemed like a huge gamble to me, but I was willing to risk it for Lila. And for about a month, it was working REALLY well. We would watch movies together on skype, share ideas for cosplays, and just chat until the sun came up every night. She even helped me bake apology cupcakes for my mom at 5 AM after I carved a spider logo into the kitchen table on accident. I was feeling freaked out because I felt genuinely happy for the first time in two years and I was just waiting for some anvil to fall on me and everything to be ruined. But the distance and our age became a problem. We were both at the very end of high school, just about to go to college and unsure of where life would go. She mentioned that she was thinking about traveling abroad to go to college. I had a conversation about it with my mom and BOY did she take it far immediately. “Ask her to go to your college! She could move in with us! We have the room now! You could drive her to school every day and eventually get your own place and get married and have kids and blah blah blah blah...”

My mother was just excited. She’s also been going through relationship problems too in the last year, and was just living vicariously through me. My mom wanted something to be stable and long lasting and fun, but she didn’t realize that it was too early to ask Lila for these things... and I... like a complete idiot... asked Lila if she wanted to go to college with me and live in America with me. I pretty much asked her to move in with me after knowing her for 6 weeks. She still had a lot to learn about me, and vice versa. We were worlds apart and it would have been a huge step if she only lived down the street, let alone in a different country. I shouldn’t have asked, and I ESPECIALLY, shouldn’t have asked more than once. I still feel like an idiot for it to this day and it was nearly 6 months ago. Then things started getting worse, mostly due to my previous relationships bleeding into my actions.

The girl I dated in 2015 cheated on me because I was so hesitant to be physically intimate with her. That creates a lot of doubt and shame, so I started asking Lila how she felt about that sort of thing if we were to meet in person one day. She became uncomfortable with the subject and I very awkwardly tried to steer the conversation away from it. Then a message meant for someone else accidentally got sent to her without context that SEVERELY damaged the situation. When being asked about the price of something by a friend, I sent back a number, which went to Lila and without context “... about 8.50″ looks VERY... weird? Maybe even kinda threatening if you misconstrue it the right way? I looked like the biggest creep/moron! So I tanked that 4 AM conversation pretty hard, and then listened to some very, very poor advice from a friend who said “just try to be casual with her about that stuff.” Because of my internal fears of her being bored with me if things didn’t get hot and heavy now and then, I started awkwardly making more casual references and jokes regarding sex over the following two days. It made her uncomfortable, and she kept quiet about it, so I kept doing it until I just couldn’t anymore. I had to tell her that I didn’t like it either and that I was doing it because I was worried she’d end up getting tired of a relationship where it wasn’t a factor. I held her to the same standards as the girl from 2015, and it was unfair. She wouldn’t cheat on me if I didn’t bring up intimacy constantly, and I was stupid for thinking she might. I won’t make excuses, but I will say why I did that. And I know I learned from it and won’t do that ever again. That made things a little more tense and over time, we started having other issues as well.

Lila made an off handed reference to some passage of her diary she wrote about me in the last few days we talked. The thing she said concerned me, as it didn’t sound positive at all. I pressed her on it because I was worried it was just several pages of her listing off the things she hated about me. Eventually she broke and read it off, and it was just several pages of her listing off the things she hated about me. She disliked my dress sense and hated my clothes, she thought the way I ate food was stupid looking(???) she felt weird about dating me for my RACE, because apparently she didn’t talk to many white guys except me. She spent hours of her personal time writing about superficial things about me that she didn’t like, and thus my self image problem had returned and I didn’t wear button up shirts for 4 months. I asked her if there was anything she DID like about me, and after a long time of struggling to find something to say, she said she liked my sense of humor and that I was nice to her. Which are... kinda general reasons to like someone? Like, non-specific and sort of forced. Then over the next few weeks she started insulting me a lot more. She developed a habit of casually calling me a... derogatory term for homosexual... (not sure what twitter’s policy is on cussing and slurs, currently so I don’t want to say it) and saying hurtful things randomly. I figured it was time to accept that the honeymoon phase was over and that she didn’t like me nearly as much as she initially thought. She didn’t like me nearly as much as I liked her. Then the final straw happened.

Being in a relationship with someone so far away can be stressful, because your ability to speak to them is entirely dependent on the use of the internet and all its various outlets. If she were to just decide one day she didn’t like using Facebook messenger anymore and delete it, I wouldn’t be able to speak with Lila through it unless I used something else. So when she casually deleted messenger one day, I just... couldn’t hear from her anymore. She never told me she was going to do it, so all of my messages to her on the first day went to no one. I decided to give her some space and assumed she just didn’t feel like talking. By day 5 I was a nervous wreck and assumed she died and had no idea where she was or what happened to her. I was losing sleep over it, my friend was checking police reports in her area, I messaged her on twitter asking if she was okay. I got no response and felt so scared. Eventually, my friend Damian messaged her on twitter myself and she responded in a few short hours, just saying she forgot to tell me about it and resumed talking to me on twitter like nothing happened. All that worry and anxiety turned to anger really quickly, because she was either trying to break up with me in an indirect way by ignoring me, or she was just being inconsiderate and actually forgot to tell me our main means of communication was going away for no specific reason. I didn’t resent her, but I was upset.

This caused me to think long and hard about the relationship and how it was doing after those short few months. We both made mistakes. I got way ahead of myself and was asking about very serious steps way too early, I let my distrust of people guide my decision to act like someone I wasn’t to keep her interest because of past experiences, and she undermined a lot of my self confidence and said some very toxic things. I wasn’t quite ready for a long distance relationship and I was still hung up on bad things from my past. She hadn’t dated anyone before and wasn’t really ready to commit, nor did she have much interest in it. We agreed that going back to being friends was better, before we started to hate each other. And of course, we talked less and less in the following weeks until not at all. We haven’t spoken in a few months now, and looking back I’m not proud of my actions or hers. I think in another life, another time, after we both did a lot of growing up, we might have made a really great team. As I said before, I’m still very thankful to have met her. I think just meeting her gave me a lot of hope and confidence that even she couldn’t really ever take away. I know now that I have a chance at meeting someone who doesn’t look at me like an alien. I know now that I can’t be distrustful and hold everyone to the same standard as people. I know now that if I were to try dating again, there are a lot of bad choices that I’d avoid (definitely wouldn’t be so damn clingy, ew). And I know now that the girl from 2015 isn’t the only girl on Earth who will be interested in me, I just have to look for another one. As for “Sandra,” I texted her midway through this last semester telling her that I felt guilty about the way things quietly drifted off, and we met up a few weeks before thanksgiving break. That night we tried one more time, going to a restaurant with no open seats and a 2 hour waiting time. She said she wasn’t hungry and we went back to her place where she had no food so I remained starving for that night. Her parents weren’t home, and we... spent the rest of the night looking at vacation photos on her phone. It was clear that the magic just wasn’t there, and I told her before I left that I appreciated her giving me the opportunity to tell her that it just wasn’t meant to be. She had no interest in the things I liked, and while I could see that she tried to like those things too, her heart wasn’t in it. So we ended things amicably like we should have months before. I was proud with how I handled it, and I felt as if though I was finally an adult when it came to my relationships.

I don’t need another person to like me in order to validate my existence. I don’t need to have everyone in the world think I’m awesome. I don’t need to rely on someone constantly to maintain my self confidence and my image. I don’t need to date someone to avoid feeling lonely, because you can be just as lonely in a relationship as you are out of one. I don’t need to say and do things untrue to myself to keep someone interested in me, because if they lost interest when I act like myself, they aren’t worth my time. I don’t need to date someone to feel complete. I don’t need to date someone just because I don’t want to hurt their feelings by turning them down. If you’re feeling alone lately and having a hard time getting into a relationship, just remember you don’t need any of that. There’s always someone out there for you, and your interests don’t make you completely alone, even if it feels like there’s no one else in the world that shares them. Being into “nerd shit” doesn’t guarantee that you can’t find someone to love and care about, and even if someone loves the same stuff as you, it might not work out anyway and that’s perfectly fine. Just remember that the only person you need to believe in you is you and no one else can fix you but you. Try to find someone after you have all that stuff sorted out or you’ll just end up getting hurt again.

In all reality, I don’t need a girlfriend at all, but I’d still like one because the company is nice. There’s a girl out there for me, and I’m going to avoid the mistakes I’ve made in the past, and I’m going to leave behind the baggage and tragedies that lie behind me. Who knows, maybe going into 2018, I’ll get to meet her. Let’s hope so.

#relationships #story

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