#so its at least 200 times
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My YouTube Recap 2024
#prince's talk tag#i dont use spotify so this is my version of spotify wrapped#also first year in a bit where a p.rs.k song ISNT in my top five#might be surprising to you guys but ive been sooooo obsessed with Science this year it couldn't be any other song#i should note that most of the songs in my top 100 are covers or existing songs#just sung by cover artists i like#i don't listen to a lot of albums which is why my album list is kinda lacking oops lolol#and yea the music i like tends to be upbeat and fun tho not always (looking at writing on the wall)#lolol speaking of that song love how the cover got to top 5 but the actual song is number 21 on my list#fun fact about issey i got a notification last month that I was top .04 listeners for September#so when i got that i knew that artist would be in my top 5 this year lolol#oh dont let the 134 listens fo science fool you i also listened via official music video so was split between two videos#so its at least 200 times
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me when someone tries to correct me about saiki k and then i say the words "cat tank arc" "akechi" or "saikis brother" and they go "what/whose that?"
#no u dont have to know everything about it to like it#but if u cant even bother to google it and yet still think u know more than me ur ANNOYING#like please at least have the decency to open a page or episode before being passive aggressive to me#i have literally given people time stamps and page numbers and they still think its wrong because they just know it 😭#i spend so much time reading this manga and fact checking and fact checking and fact checking#only to be told by 200 tiktok users named skibidi42069 or saikiknumberonefan that its all wrong#because they prophesied it or something#ive genuinely never seen a show as misunderstood as saiki k#saiki k#the disastrous life of saiki k.#tdlosk#meows post
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Eclipse Federation animatic but it's Out of Touch Thursday as well. Hehe
#my art#lifesteal smp#lifesteal#lifesteal fanart#mcyt#princezam#itzsubz#vitalasy#eclipse federation#this took like a week and was timed specifically so i could post it on thursday#also its my first animatic!!! it was very hard i did not expect using so many layers#like over 200 at least
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Malleus club??? Ruggie with glasses??? And Jack's dream too (rip another SSR chance)???
Twst beginning the beginning of each month with a nuclear bomb as per usual... thank you
edit: I sorry for being redundant, I was just waking up when I posted this lol
#twisted wonderland#malleus draconia#ruggie bucchi#jack howl#at least its all mid month#so i can enjoy for an while having only 200 playlists#but also glad malleus' playlist is finished AND WAITING FOR ITS TIME TO SHINE#cherry's mumbling about twst#twst spoilers#twst jp spoilers
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Ok fuck it you know something I've never really quite understood about part of the Leftist vs Liberals debate on voting.
So so so many people act like its either-or. Like you're either dedicating your entire life to voting and promoting politicians and phone banking or whatever, or you're a True Rebel waiting for The Uprising to Come and Solve Everything.
But like. In my experience. Me voting is just me kinda go 'which person seems kinda good? Which one at least sucks the least? ok lemme go vote.' and then its anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour tops of my life. And I still have plenty of time to do Stuff and participate in Conversations about Other Important Things. And also you can admit and acknowledge and understand that the system As Is kinda sorta really sucks ass, but also still admit and acknowledge and understand that at this current point in time we are still living in the suckass system and do something to alleviate the suckass At Least A Little while also working to bolster/create/advocate for Other Systems.
I guess just like. it's not a black or white thing. Between 'top 500 volunteers for a specific politician/voting office/etc' and 'absolutely positively not voting at all' there is a gray area called 'vote and then just do other stuff'.
#out of queue#ani rambles#ani rant#now hang on its time to acknowledge my Privilege(TM)#the first few times I ever voted for anything I was in college and the student center was a voting center#so asides from waiting in a long (~30 minute tops bc early vote) line to get in I didn't have to do a big drive or anything#and at my house there's a voting center thats a like 5 minute drive from my place or a 10 minute drive depending on what election it is#and im ablebodied and have a open (read: jobless) schedule so I can Just Go for the most part#i live in a City so there's probs lots of voting centers at churches and libraries and all across town too#but like. some people act like people saying Hey Go Vote Plz are screaming like#'if you don't donate 200 dollars and 4+ weeks of your time to canvassing and calling and volunteering you are RUINING AMERICA'#when at least from what I've seen its just like. 'can you maybe go fill in a bubble on a Scantron so people like me don't Die Faster.'#also there's early voting and mail-in voting and all that jazz like yeah the current system makes it harder to vote but theres still W AYS#you don't gotta pull up at 6am on Election Day Tuesday yknow?#if i get blasted for this remember as I was: happy and rambling at 3am about greenhouses and solarpunk stuff#plz be nice i beg k bye
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This is going to sound unexpectedly specific compared to my usual vague-as-fuck questions. Context being: I want money, I cannot commit to doing commissions at the moment and drawing is my only marketable skill.
If you were to buy a character "adopt" - premade design for your use, art by me and no rights retained except to like merchandising that original art - would it be a significant factor in either a positive or negative direction if the art were originally done digitally vs traditionally?
Likewise, if you were to buy a traditionally-drawn adopt, would the inclusion of the original paper-and-ink drawing be a significant benefit to you that you would consider paying more than just "base" price for?
Third, regardless of medium, would you want "scratch" papers where I did the brainstorming before the final concept was finished - this wouldn't be at any extra cost i just wonder.
Fourth, would you prefer a "flat" sale or an auction? (I like buying things at auction-style sales, and it means you might get a cheaper price than i'd normally list whatever it is for, but I am given to understand that my preferences vary from the norm pretty significantly lol) .
Fifth, would TF or at lesat mecha designs be more interesting than non-TF ones or would more general "can use this as any oc for anything" type characters be more appealing?
Ah - sixth and last, do regular ocs appeal more or less than kink/fetish-oriented ocs like "suspiciously wide-hipped lady who just so happens to have a mouth in her crotch" or stuff in that vein lol? I'm not sure I can stop myself from coming up with at least one erotic as fuck design because that's just how my brain works, but it's good to know if i should try and focus on that or leave it be and just focus on concepts that seem interesting enough to get a shape out of.
#i know this is specific. please understand i want to eat good food again.#i am not in Serious Financial Worry i simply cannot afford takeout again. my dad is going to give me money when he gets around to it but#that might be any time between now and the end of the month#and about 80% of the money in my bank account is tapped for rx payments the second i get to the pharmacy so i cant spend basically anything#if you guys respond it'd be a big help#also if anyone is interested - first design im working on is a cordyceps-possessed archer elf lady.#and im thinking to list it for around $40-50 US and +$10 and shipping for the paper version#i get a good deal on shipping these days at least. i should be able to ship overseas for like $15-20 US and not $60 or whatever#eta. LOL. LMAO EVEN. ummmm im probably going to want $200 minimum for this archer design. theres three and a half full color illustrations#here. i detailed LACE. FIVE TIMES. INCLUDING A DIAGRAM#i spent eight hours i want like at least my old rates lol#its a cool ass design though. so its worth it. trust me <- biased#my mailing list as usual gets first pick of stuff like this#so if you want to see it go sign up for that and then come message me and ill forward you a copy of the email i sent htem#if they snap it up im not selling it publicly.
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I NEED ADVICE SO BAD RN FR PLS
#ok so met this guy in a club it was all very beautiful etc felt nothing even tho i knew i rly did then woke up and my heart Hurt and i went#home and my heart hurt and he said it hurt for him too and he wants to see me soon and so on when he hugged me goodbye his eyes were glazed#yk the vibe anyway seeing him would cost at least 200 quid in total . at Least#and he said he might see me in early jan if he can make time around exams but he will def see me soonish and like#idk what the timeline on that is like if he cant come early jan then when and what will happen and etc#and anyway i can hypothetically see him tmrw but again expensive etc etc#and then if it goes well hed see me in early jan . or i could just wait for him to come here but he said he might be able to#like the word Might does not inspire 100% confidence anyway idk whether to see him or not but have to decide Fast bc my friend is coming#1 jan and so i def have to be back b4 then#all trains are cancelled btw thats why it costs so much like half the cost is just transportation To The Place Ill Leave The Uk From#i havent decided whether by train or airport or#...BUT IDK ITS EXPENSIVE AND . AND DDJDJAND ITS A GUY LIKE WHY AM I SPENDING SM TIME AND MONEY ON A GUY ITS A 15+ HR JOURNEY BY TRAIN#but also i am going slightly insane and will i regret it if i dont#idk#anyway any advice thanks ♡♡♡
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On a scale from one to YOU HAVE TO DRIVE TO THE LOCAL STATE PARK TO USE A FREE PUBLIC SHOWER BC UR HOT WATER HEATER did not actually break, and is under warranty, but the ELECTRICAL LINE TO IT SHORTED AND WILL BE EXPENSIVE TO FIX, HOW POOR ARE YOU
So yeah how was y'all's weekend?
#eljin talks#happy fucking holidays to me i guess#though to be fair the camp showers are exceedingly nice and clean and handicap accessible#its like a really ghetto osen#crisp winter air the sounds of nature and nice steaming water#i am sure the fact i find the bathroom spiders cute helps the positive outlook haha#the other upside is that this campground is literally closer to the house than the grocery store#just little 200 year old run down probably haunted farm house things#last time i took a shower in the house there was a draft coming from INSIDE the tub where the caulk line broke! so thats... bad#oh also i found out yesterday i had accidentally lowered the airpressure in my toom so much due to the houses fan placements#that i actually had given my self high altitude sickness#so now i know its REALLY IMPORTANT to be sure the ac is at least on fan mode in their for circulation#and to just not turn it off bc i am too lazy to empty the dehumidifier tank >>#fun fact if no matter how much you drink or run the humidifier you mouth srill feels tingly and painfully dry#do NOT install ceiling fans right between air vents to attick rooms you will create a human sized vacuum chamber#we did not put the ceiling fan there we were just stupid enough to use attick room as living space insteas of storage.#also if every time you go to pee its easier to breath? PROBABLY YHE AIR WUALITY IN YOUR ROOM GO FIGURE HUH#in my defense my brain was literally not getting enough oxygen
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SHES DONE!!!!!!!!
im so happy look at it!!!!!! i finished draining and dirting this monument this is so much work culminating im so happy oh my GOSH!!!!!
#minecraft#minecraft build#its gearing up to be#BUT LOOOK#dragon's discussions#grandrath#IM SO HAPPY#i will start stone bricking mossing and prismarining tomorrow to make it look extra pretty#and then its outer ring layout time#potentially with aqueduct bases in the middle#and then oh boy and then#its silverpeak renovation time >:)#because im not spending another 200 hours on this for at least a little whiel
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The real question is...why is this girl occupying my thoughts...
Why does tumblr have a 30 tag limit
#and NOT in a good way#.evature#not in a crush way either#she acts like we're best buddies#but we never hang out just the two of us#she always just asks: whos out today! and then ME FOR SOME REASON ALWAYS RESPONDS WITH: me!#like: me to me: DONT TELL HER THAT#😀#i hung out with her today w this other girlfriend and i felt so small#it wasnt intentional#but i felt like i couldnt b myself in a way where i was hesitating when i should speak abd i was like oh i havent spoken at all in the last#5 mins and maybe thats a sign that smth is up with me!#and my relationship to these ppl!#and its not the firzt time ive felt uneasy ab this girl#she acts like she knows me so well and it annoys me because she doesnt and im frustrated that shes frisnds w all my friends so i cant rlly#confide in them!!!!#🙂🙂🙂🙂#she has this idea that im still doing psych ajd its like; girl ive corrected you 200 times ab that#whatever#i am majorijg in whatever u think i am 🙄#and then on top of that#today i mentioned that i dont go near a shopping centre bc my ex works there#and she was like#oh yeah when i saw him he was nice ajd i told my mum ab what he did to you and she was like i knew it#WHICH IS CRAZY BC I NEVER CONFIDED IN HER AB ANYTHING???#at least i dont remember!! at all!!!!!#and i dont think i wouldve!#bc i would remember!#so a) what does SHE think happened. b) how did she find out or get this idea ab what happened 💀#its making me feel a bit uncomfortable bc that single sentence CONFIRMS to me at least that she 100% probablt talks ab me behind my back
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I might be starting the process to get a disabled parking placard tomorrow!!!
#im so excited#at school i try to park as close as possible but its still like an additional 200-300 feet#anywhere else is at least 700 feet away from the door#so i am so tired and symptomatic by the time i even get to the doors#im hoping having a parking placard will help me manage my fatigue#disabled#disability#chronic illness#dysautonomia#inappropriate sinus tachycardia#disabled parking#disability accomodations
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trying to determine which parts of my relationship with sex are asexuality, which are trauma, and which are autism is like trying to have a conversation with three people talking loudly and all at once
#just to be clear: asexuality as a result of trauma or neurodivergency is still asexuality. full stop no debate.#anyway because i love oversharing on tumblr dot com: feeling very sex repulsed on this day#i was joking with some guy about fighting each other (specifically said ''you ever fight a girl over 200 lbs? id break your ribs'')#and like three different people said something like ''well that would probably turn him on''#and. listen. i get it. that was a joke response to my joke threat#but what i felt in that moment and still feel now requires nothing short of academic study to understand#first of all: how dare they make me feel embarrassed in a social setting when i was doing so well.#secondly: why the fuck would me making a threat make them instantly think of sex#thirdly: how fucked up is my body image that i hear that and immediately think they're all out of their minds#i like fat women. i am personally attracted to fat women. not (usually) sexually but i do think they are very nice to look at#so why is it so hard for me to accept that someone else could find me attractive as well !#i think about being in a situation where a relationship and/or sex is a real possibility and i flinch like its going to hurt me#but why???? where is this aversion coming from !!!!! i am a hopeless romantic i daydream about romance all the time#so whats the deal here. is it subconscious bc of my asexuality and i associate romance with sex?#is it because of my autism where i associate romance with touch and am afraid i am too unempathetic to have a chance?#or (most likely) is it just because im so fucking scared of trusting someone that even the thought makes me nauseous#did this all crop up from a throwaway sex joke? yes#but people don't make sex jokes to me. people don't even pretend to allude to me being cute#this same group of people said a few weeks ago ''at least you're pretty''#which. is not the case!!!!!!! people do not say those things to me because they don't want to even slightly entertain that idea !!!!!!!#and i am extremely tired of having my life upended because of this#i have always been treated like i was ugly and teased about it and i FINALLY have managed to be okay with not being attractive#and now that im okay with it: NOW is when the pretty jokes start. im fucking angry about it actually#i can't be both. i cannot think of myself in terms that abstract. i am one or the other#and this leads me to believe that people think i COULD be pretty. but the catalyst is that i am fat and therefore cannot be attractive#which just makes me more angry!!!!!!!!!!!#how can i be completely indifferent to sex and attraction without seeming juvenile. i don't care so so much#but every time that sort of thing happens i feel like im 13 again and the hot jock is talking to me#i need to be put down. something's wrong with this one (me)#i realize i can't stop people from making sex or appearance jokes but god i wish i fucking could
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Its real strange when Americans especially (meaning politicians, less citizens but them too sometimes) say socialism doesn't work because how the hell would you even know. Half the shit American politcians describe as socialism isn't socialism, and often they treat those things like the sky will fall if they're implemented (like healthcare. Ignore Canada right above you. Lie about how our system works by telling people you need to wait years to see Drs about life threatening issues when you only get waitlisted for specialists and not for years either, it's generally a few months. Not ideal but not what American politicians say either. Ignore every other country with universal healthcare better than Canada's, which is everyone's, because there's no need to even lie about those after making the country above you look bad for not charging 80K to look at a band-aid, which is somehow an improvement to waitlists like the poor won't just die instead of seeing a dr).
Not to mention the US has invaded so many countries with politics farther left then theirs just to install right wing terrorists and then get mad when some of those terrorists they straight up funded do a 9/11 to them like they have slaughtered thousands to "spread democracy" by overthrowing democratically elected leaders all over the world for being "too socialist" or communist so how do you know socialism doesn't work? If it doesn't it's because America specifically has never allowed it to, like you can't invade every single country that does things mildly different, completely destroy them, and then say "see socialism doesn't work!" like you had nothing to do with the collapse of that system???? It's literally the meme of Eric Andre shooting that guy and being like "how come socialism didn't work!" like they didn't just shoot socialism in the face in cold blood. And also capitalism doesn't need to work at all in any way, efficient or not, for everyone to defend it to the hilt so like ok who cares if socialism works if you don't care that capitalism doesn't and you defend it anyway? Clearly "works" isn't a prerequisite to using that system so that's not even an argument worth bringing up at that point.
#winters ramblings#every time i hear Americans say this but mostly politicians im like ok stop invading EVERYONE#and MAYBE socialism will work like it seems to JUST FINE in denmark!! granted its not a FULLY socialized system theyre still capitalist#obviously. but like you cant i avde everyone and their dog because you hate socialism destroy all their shit and blame SOCIALISM for it#like NO that was american military meddling not anything to do with ANY political system beyond americas like ???#also if other countries have A Thing probably it isnt killing that country. like canadas healthcare DOES suck#its literally the WORST socialized healthcare system in the world like actually. so americans aremt wrong that our system sucks#but NOT FUCKING LIKE THEIRS at least we can GET cancer treatments here no meth cooking needed#our system sucks because not ENOUGH is covered not because NOTHING should be covered#and we should all be at the mercy of 6 healthcare amd insurance companies making money off people dying#still how the fuck can you say socialism does or doesnt do ANYTHING when no one knows what it looks like#in a TON of countries BECAUSE of american meddling they ignore when they shriek about Venezuela#MAYBE if america didnt FUCK EVERYONE AROUND socialism would be just as flawed as capitalism!!#which is allowed to be ALL KINDS OF FUCKED AND FLAWED and no one even CARES but socialism does A ;#*A Bad and suddenly we need to throw it the fuck out. capitalism can employ CHILD SWEAT SHOPS and thats fine#but socialism doesnt work 200% perfect 80 000% of the time and nope it doesnt work lets go back#to using LITERAL SLAVES from prisons thats not a problem worth invading a country about i guess!!
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ok so, Funny numbers time.
I have 164 pjo fics on my ao3 which I think are almost entirely written during 2020, that's all I wrote that year except for I think 5 fics. Adding up the word count of all my pjo series... because they aren't all in the same series god I hate past phantom. It adds up to 154,483 words. But my wordcount for 2020 was 252,720 words. I do not understand the discrepancy but WHATEVER.
so I have 164 pjo fics, im not adding those all together individually but I'm gonna go off of the 154k words for this post.
I have 163 jrwi fics. And the wordcount of my jrwi series? 662,401 words. That's like 4 times the pjo series. Which I think is very, very interesting. Because they both have the same amount of fics pretty much.
#also jerwee sweep on my archive#itll soon be my top fandom <333333#but yeah take these statistics as you will#I think they are very very interesting#growth maybe? Idk#Ive also been working on this series for longer#and most of the fics of the other series r like#200 words at most#bc I was having a hard time writing in 2020#so I lowered my required wordcount to 500#rn a fic has to be at least 1000 words for me to post on archive#but now I do not think I could even write a complete one under that wordcount lol#I have a lot of words to say#so there was a difference in my writing style as well and#like the way I wrote#so It makes sense#I just think its interesting#rambling#phever dreams with phantom#liveblogs writing
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FUCK I forgot bout the upcoming collab gacha to ensekai o<-< I only have 18k crystals to my name NOOOOOOOO
#aria rants#orz... thank you akito for reminding me to stay strong... ngl i was coping for most of his events banner jokingly saying:#akito wouldnt want me pulling for this card (cuz it was a perm). i know akito would prefer that i stay strong!#and boooooyyyy im honestly so glad that i did stayed strong in not using up what lil crystals i have to my name cuz#the collab gacha is 5 events away. i only have 5 events to saveat least a hundred pulls o<-< i wouldve preferred if it was 200 tho#cuz of Wretched colopale changing the spark prices i will forever be mad about that. either way augh. ack. i nnneeddd crystal#time to calculate how much i can get during those 5 events and i also gotta try to get in t5k for the 1k crystals now. i have to.#for the collab emu card... or even the toya card. or saki. tbh i love all the cards in that collab so i dont mind getting anyone#i could just buy the outfit to emu or akito depending on who i get. i just reeeeaaallly want at least one card. its a dire need that i#unfortunately forgot about MAN! im even willing to sacrifice going for the world link cards for that one. i need the collab cards
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I was meeting a client at a famous museum’s lounge for lunch (fancy, I know) and had an hour to kill afterwards so I joined the first random docent tour I could find. The woman who took us around was a great-grandmother from the Bronx “back when that was nothing to brag about” and she was doing a talk on alternative mediums within art.
What I thought that meant: telling us about unique sculpture materials and paint mixtures.
What that actually meant: an 84yo woman gingerly holding a beautifully beaded and embroidered dress (apparently from Ukraine and at least 200 years old) and, with tears in her eyes, showing how each individual thread was spun by hand and weaved into place on a cottage floor loom, with bright blue silk embroidery thread and hand-blown beads intricately piercing the work of other labor for days upon days, as the labor of a dozen talented people came together to make something so beautiful for a village girl’s wedding day.
What it also meant: in 1948, a young girl lived in a cramped tenement-like third floor apartment in Manhattan, with a father who had just joined them after not having been allowed to escape through Poland with his pregnant wife nine years earlier. She sits in her father’s lap and watches with wide, quiet eyes as her mother’s deft hands fly across fabric with bright blue silk thread (echoing hands from over a century years earlier). Thread that her mother had salvaged from white embroidery scraps at the tailor’s shop where she worked and spent the last few days carefully dying in the kitchen sink and drying on the roof.
The dress is in the traditional Hungarian fashion and is folded across her mother’s lap: her mother doesn’t had a pattern, but she doesn’t need one to make her daughter’s dress for the fifth grade dance. The dress would end up differing significantly from the pure white, petticoated first communion dresses worn by her daughter’s majority-Catholic classmates, but the young girl would love it all the more for its uniqueness and bright blue thread.
And now, that same young girl (and maybe also the villager from 19th century Ukraine) stands in front of us, trying not to clutch the old fabric too hard as her voice shakes with the emotion of all the love and humanity that is poured into the labor of art. The village girl and the girl in the Bronx were very different people: different centuries, different religions, different ages, and different continents. But the love in the stitches and beads on their dresses was the same. And she tells us that when we look at the labor of art, we don’t just see the work to create that piece - we see the labor of our own creations and the creations of others for us, and the value in something so seemingly frivolous.
But, maybe more importantly, she says that we only admire this piece in a museum because it happened to survive the love of the wearer and those who owned it afterwards, but there have been quite literally billions of small, quiet works of art in billions of small, quiet homes all over the world, for millennia. That your grandmother’s quilt is used as a picnic blanket just as Van Gogh’s works hung in his poor friends’ hallways. That your father’s hand-painted model plane sets are displayed in your parents’ livingroom as Grecian vases are displayed in museums. That your older sister’s engineering drawings in a steady, fine-lined hand are akin to Da Vinci’s scribbles of flying machines.
I don’t think there’s any dramatic conclusions to be drawn from these thoughts - they’ve been echoed by thousands of other people across the centuries. However, if you ever feel bad for spending all of your time sewing, knitting, drawing, building lego sets, or whatever else - especially if you feel like you have to somehow monetize or show off your work online to justify your labor - please know that there’s an 84yo museum docent in the Bronx who would cry simply at the thought of you spending so much effort to quietly create something that’s beautiful to you.
#shut up e#long post#Saturday thoughts#this has been in my drafts for a week haha#also this is the heart of why AI art feels so wrong#forget the discussion of copyright and theft etc - even if models were only trained on public domain they would still feel very wrong#because they’re not art. art is the labor of creation#even commercial art and art commissioned by the popes and kings of history: there is humanity in the labor of it#unrelated: I did not know living in the Bronx was now something to brag about. How the fuck do y’all New Yorkers afford this city???
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