#but if u cant even bother to google it and yet still think u know more than me ur ANNOYING

[oceanwithouthermoon]

me when someone tries to correct me about saiki k and then i say the words "cat tank arc" "akechi" or "saikis brother" and they go "what/whose that?"

[whilomm]

hey listen guys I know its hard to hear but you dont have to say Trump Cheated to point out the problems w this election

Yeah theres tons of votes being thrown out, but that doesnt mean the trump campaign was doing shady backroom deals or anything, it means that this country has places where its set up so that its way too easy to throw votes out for tiny reasons, and its been set up like that for a while. this isnt a new issue Caused By Trump Personally this is existing problem. yes, if you voted by mail or anything, make sure your vote went through and cure it if needed cause those could have massive effects downballot, but dont conspiracize about it, its just your average everyday voter suppression in this bitch of a country.

ideally they would give voters more time to cure ballots for legit issues (like signature mismatch, which yeah if u wanna prevent vote theft on mail ins It Is Important) and notify them better (especially in an age where No One Answers Their Phone) but they make the windows tiny because This Country Sucks. the conspiracy is that "wow, america sucks". very surprising, i know.

meanwhile the bomb threats. suspicious as hell, yes. needs to be investigated, yes. but also they could have come from some random ass maga cunt. I don't know how to tell yall this but some right wing fuckers do in fact love doing a terrorism independently on occasion, no conspiracy needed. now, if it comes out the threats can be directly connected to the campaign somehow? yeah, THEN its direct election interference, and we have to have a whole nother conversation, but realize it could just as easily be some random asshole doing it.

also "the dems lost 15 million votes" theyre still counting. they probably lost votes still, yeah, but you have to wait for them to finish counting to see how many. some of the states still counting like california lean heavy dem so like, the gaps gonna lower at least a bit probs. looking now its more like 10 mil gap. dunno how much thatll change, but neither do you yet. shut up with the numbers til you actually Have The Numbers. the full postmortem cant come til you actually have the body all here to dissect.

unfortunately yall i think half of american voters are just fucking stupid ass cunts who are easily swayed by shit like "egg prices" and "gas prices", and the dems massively failed every step of the way on that front (biden didnt do enough to combat price gouging when it happened, biden still decided to run knowing how fucking unpopular he was with everyone from rightwingers to checked the fuck out normies to leftists and despite barely being able to string a sentence together and then waiting until so fucking late in the race to finally drop out, the dems usual noncommital ass messaging and refusal to take strong stances on shit bit them in the ass once again...)

no, chances are from how its looking right now, trump won, no conspiracy needed. Some of its the rabid maga crowd yeah, but also some of its probs the normie ass checked out average levels of misogyny people who dont even realize their "feelings" about how trump just seems like a "stronger leader" are 100% "he is man therefore strong", some of its people who genuinely fucking vote based on shit like name recognition and had to google "did joe biden drop out". the average american is unfortunately oftentimes a fucking idiot who doesnt pay attention to goddamn anything beyond how their personal finances were these past 4 years, and dems didnt do enough to energize the voting base of people who actually do pay some attention to get them over that gap.

They couldnt get the checked out normies, they didnt even bother with the people who pay attention, and they massively goddamn fucked up.

Theres no one single thing to blame here, the whole thing is a massive messy shit stew. a million things that could have been done, including shit that should have been done over a decade ago by the dems when they really had power, but this country fucking sucks so.

[elysianslove]

the little things ; haikyuu boys

synopsis; the little things he does that show just how much he loves you

pairings; karasuno x reader, aoba johsai x reader, fukurodani x reader, nekoma x reader, shiratorizawa x reader

genre; fluff

warnings; will make u hate being single <3

karasuno ━━

sugawara koshi; whenever your hair gets caught in anything, he’s so gentle yet quick at fixing it. if your hair is long, and you pull a bag or a shirt and your hair gets tucked in, he’ll wordlessly pull it out. if your hair is short and a bracelet or zipper gets caught he just continues whatever he was doing (talking to someone else for e.g.) while helping you out. also always makes sure your hair isn’t bothering you; if you’re leaning over writing something, he’ll always tuck it behind your ear so lovingly ahhh

daichi sawamura; massages. he’s descended from heaven for this purpose only. his hands are rough and like hard on your muscles, but it’s so perfect. he’ll approach you when you’re in school sitting anywhere, from behind, and just knead his hands into your muscles for a few seconds. euphoric. or if you live together, he always greets you with back/shoulder/neck massages in the bathtub hvjkwkd.

nishinoya yuu; always makes you try his food. always. whether it’s with a group of people or just you two, he just goes “hey babe open ur mouth” with this face 😏 bc he’s cheeky, and just shoves a mouthful of food. spoiler alert, it’s always way too hot. but it’s just tradition at this point. he takes a bite of his food, decides if it’s worthy enough for your mouth or not, then just. yeah.

kageyama tobio; buys you a snack whenever he gets his milk. if you’re special special, he’ll buy you your own carton of milk. he goes up to the vending machine and automatically thinks of you when he sees your fave snack, and it’s like mindless at this point he just routinely does it. it still surprises you to this day, even when he’s so nonchalant about it.

tsukishima kei; kisses your forehead. tsukki is not too big on pda, and even privately he’s not very touchy feely either tbh. but just a simple peck on your forehead grounds you, and it’s a small reminder of the fact that despite his outward coldness, he really does love you. he rarely does it in front of others, but sometimes, he’ll indulge both you and him, and settle a small kiss on your temple just randomly.

asahi azumane; anime jesus always has a hair tie/clip carried around for you on his wrist/in his pockets. i mean he’s always needing them, he just stocks up when he starts dating you. somehow he’s always there when you’re frustrated with your hair all over the place what a savior. later on it evolves to him carrying around your scrunchie and yes the boys make fun yes he blushes but no he does not take it off.

tanaka ryunosuke; carries you on his back, or your things, when you’re too tired to walk. whether that be if you’re too tired because of your heels or you’re just lazy, he just loves helping you out what a respectful gentleman. honestly it just becomes that every time he sees you he like barricades over to you so quick and flips you onto his shoulder or spins you around. anyways. walking with tanaka means walking empty handed bc he will never let you carry anything. ( shifts pile of bags on one arm just to hold your hand ).

hinata shoyo; learns hairstyles to try on you. whether it be short hair or long hair, expect his youtube search history to look a lot like “how to make a french braid” or “cute hairstyles for short hair for your cute girlfriend”. he’s always so entranced by you and watches so carefully whenever you do anything on your hair, and he gets do excited whenever you let him try and he gets it right. also !!! a lot of the times you’ll sit between his legs and he’ll just softly card his fingers through your hair or lightly braid it.

yamaguchi tadashi; buys you flowers a lot. he doesn’t overdo it, just so it doesn’t lose its value and worth. but for example, mondays suck ass and he knows how much you hate them, so he always makes sure to either leave a single rose on your desk/in your locker or give it to you himself if he can. it’s so endearing and motivating honestly, and the constant reminder every once in a while is so cute. continues to do it even like 3 years in, which is so fkn sweet honestly.

nekoma ━━

kuroo tetsurō; plans the best dates. seriously. like not one moment spent with him is dull. i don’t think being with kuroo entails a high energy relationship, i just mean that even a walk in the park is fun with him. he also always knows when to plan a fancy dinner and when it’s just something casual. like he always puts in so much effort, gives 120%, for every date with you. is your favorite band/singer/artist in town? he’s got tickets. the weather is amazing? you’re going to the beach. you’re sleep deprived? nap dates. 10/10

kozume kenma; he teaches you how to play his games. the fact that he’s letting you touch the console in itself says enough, but whenever he buys a new one, and learns it thoroughly enough, he will always sit by you and teach you its ways. picture you sitting in his lap while he guides your hands <333 if you’re not a gamer, he’s actually v flattered by the fact you’re willing to sit through this w him. but if you are a gamer, expect daily competitions. oh and if you beat him? you’re dead to him :).

haiba lev; instead of reaching for things that you’re too short for to grab it himself, he just lifts you up lmfao. i mean w the way he teases yaku, i can imagine he’d be v teasing with you as well if you’re even an inch shorter than him. but fret not! it’s all in the name of love. he’s very loving though, and if he sees you struggling he’ll just wordlessly hoist you up from your waist or something. at first it’s terrifying, but later on it just makes you giggle cause he’s like so willing to do it and it’s effortless for him hehe.

yaku morisuke; always makes sure you’re taking care of yourself, but kinda aggressively? lmao anyways. like he’s always “babe have u eaten” and if u say no expect him to start yelling like “what do you mean no??? are you insane???” v dramatic but honestly <333 he’s always texting you after parting ways “did you get home safe” or on weekends where he cant meet you, he’s asking how it was, if you indulged yourself a bit, relaxed. it’s very sweet and he makes sure it’s not overbearing. he just wants his baby to be healthy and happy.

yamamoto taketora; walks on the side with the cars. it’s not a very noticeable thing, but you see it, and you recognize it. he makes sure he’s always walking where cars are speeding by, a hand on the small of your back guiding you away and to the other side of him. it’s the little notions of protectiveness like if he’s driving and stops suddenly, he’ll put a hand out to keep you from lurching forward, he pushes you gently out of the way before you bump into someone. things like that.

aoba johsai ━━

oikawa tōru; he doodles in your notebooks, or on your skin. if you have class with him, and sit next to him, he’ll always be doodling on your notebook like little hearts or stupid, cute things like your initials + his in a heart. or if you’re at a study date together, and you’re focused on your laptop screen, he’ll leave little encouraging messages on your notes for you to notice when you’re revising. sometimes you’ll be sitting with him at lunch or even if you’re out w him and a bunch of other people, and he happens to have a pen. expect a little smiley face on your inner wrist, or a heart plus his initials ( o.t. )

iwaizumi hajime; he helps you take off your make up/takes it off for you. if you’re too sleepy, he’ll just take the products he’s used to seeing you use and start following it step by step after he props you up next to the sink. while he stands between your thighs he just so gently starts rubbing at your skin and washing away the make up. if you’re already asleep, he’ll have to like google the steps oh my god im gonna cry hes so cute. if you don’t necessarily wear make up, then he’ll just help you do your nightly routine, or even your shower routine, like using a body scrub or a face mask or, bruh, even shaving lmfao.

hanamaki takahiro; saves everything you buy/send/make him. i mean everything. has literally over two thousand photos of you, all the polaroids or postcards are saved in a little box he has under his bed. anything you make him (unless it’s edible) he has. if you make him a small embroidery thing he will literally attach it to his sports bag or something. any chain you make him is automatically added to his keychain. that flower crown you made with him on one of your first dates? he still has it. the flowers are dead but the memory loves babyyyy

matsukawa issei; carries extra clothes of his for you to borrow. hey have i mentioned that mattsun is big? 😃 because he is 😃. meaning regardless of your size or height or whatever, his clothes will drown you <3 i see him as preferring more oversized or just loose shirts rather than tight ones, so yk. on you???? if y’all are just hanging out and you even think about being slightly cold — here have five options of mattsun’s clothes to choose from. he always makes sure they smell like him too. it’s self indulgent really, because he loves the way they look on you, and he loves that it leaves a trace of his scent on you. territorial? i think yes.

fukurodani ━━

bokuto kōtarō; always hugs you like it’s the last time he’ll see you. sometimes, even if he doesn’t know it, you need his hugs badly. y’all are gonna try and tell me bokuto doesn’t give the best fkn hugs??? yeah get outta here with that bs. he SO does. he either kneels down and wraps his arms around your waist, picks you up, and spins you around, like he hasn’t seen you in 3 years, or he’ll just wrap his arms around your neck and pull your head to his chest, cradling it, and just sighing like he won’t see you for the next 3 years. his hugs always make you feel so much better, even if you weren’t feeling down to begin with.  

akaashi keiji; plays with your hands and caresses them. it’s the delicate feel and gentleness of it all. akaashi’s generally an anxious person, leaving him very fidgety. but once you two get together, and he starts being comfortable with you, expect to find your hand always between the two of his, just fondling with him. he’ll trace random figurines on the back of your hand, or have his fingers ghost over your wrist and up to your fingertips. if his hands are especially shaky, expect him to just grab one of your yours and hold it tightly between the grasp of two of his. it conveys trust, and all you have to do is kiss his knuckles gently and he’s melting.

konoha akinori; he has your reminders app linked with his, and sneaks in small, motivating messages. every once in a while you’ll get a notification from the app that tells you to drink water or have a snack (or text konoha he’s bored and he misses you). also always sends you pictures to distract you from stress. like it could literally just be a picture of him smiling with a thumbs up and you’d just ,,, melt bc you love him so much.

shiratorizawa ━━

ushijima wakatoshi; he has so many plants that are named after you, or your nicknames, and he’s like so gentle with them too. like strokes their petals and speaks to them so softly, the same way he does with you. you’re honestly so curious how he hasn’t run out of names, but he’s just a genius like that. whenever you go over to his place, and he’s bought a new one, he’ll take your hand and guide you to where it’s growing and just be like “look it’s baby y/n” and you just 🥺🥺🥺

semi eita; he has a playlist on his phone, that’s constantly being updated, for you and him to listen to. the first time he showed it to you, you were stargazing and he took out his phone and headphones and was like “i made a playlist for you wanna list” and every part of your body lit up in flames im not joking. now, a lot of the times, you’re coming back home on a train, and your head is on his shoulder and you’re sharing headphones listening to the playlist. when either one of you is driving you’re blasting it (a lot of the playlist is the hsm soundtrack)

satori tendō; tendo reads people so well, and being in a relationship with him means he will read you so well. so a lot of the times, in social situations, he’ll recognize the signs of you wanting to leave, for example, or if someone’s bothering you, he’ll know exactly how to approach it too. this also entails having a lotta inside jokes hehe, and also just like. talking with your eyes. yk that thing. yeah. all you have to do is look at him a certain way, and he just knows exactly what you just said.

goshiki tsutomu; he buys the both of you this small plushie, and whenever you’re missing each other you just. squish it. and he squishes his. he would rather die than let anyone know this, but you’re not too keen on letting anyone know yourself tbh. it’s just this little thing you have, and it means a lot more to you than just this. when he first bought it he was like “look we have matching plushies” and you passed away on the spot ❤️

shirabu kenjirō; loves trying out new recipes with you. he’s not too big on cooking or baking, but there’s just something about doing it with you that really — hits the spot yk. nowadays, whenever he comes across a new recipe on social media that he thinks you’ll like he just automatically sends it to you like with no words no texts just the post and you’re like “OMG CAN WE DO THIS” and he’s like “why else would i send it. yes we can :)” hvskwkeke

end note;  thank you sm for the love on my last two posts!! i’m glad you guys enjoyed them sm. if you have any requests, they’re open and i’m happy to deliver, mwah!

[celebritytgcaptions]

Requests (5/23/2021)

Hi lovelies! I’ve been getting so many requests & I’m working hard to get all of them in the queue. Thanks for sending them my way! I’m writing to let you know that the queue is now full until the end of June. I was able to get every requests from my May 8th post in there except for a few. Requests from May 8th for captions featuring Katy Perry, Jenna Fischer, Marisol Nichols, Addison Rae, Ariana Grande, Erin Kellyman, Taylor Swift, Billie Eilish, Jhene Aiko, & Kirstin Maldonado will be posted in early July.

But there have been an absolute ton of requests since then too, yay! So I’m listing all the requests that I haven’t gotten to below. If you made a request but don’t see it below that might be for a few reasons. 1) I’ve written it already and it will be posted in June. 2) It’s one of the requests I posted on May 8th so I won’t talk about it here. 3) I considered it a demand not a request (for example, I received two that said “Anything with,” that wasn’t really a request just telling me to do it. Sorry if this bothers some of you but it is an issue with me so make sure you word your requests AS requests). Either way, thanks for the love, lovelies! :D

Anonymous said:

Could you do one with either Kelley O’hara or Alex Morgan from the USWNT about a guy soccer player watching the US win the world cup and then want to be them or something like that?

I actually know who both those are (shockingly enough, I don’t really follow sports) so sure thing!

Anonymous said:

Could you do lorengrey captions? She’s so hot

Sorry sweetie, don’t know who that is. :(

Anonymous said:

Hi I just had an idea for a game you could do. It could be where someone has to say as a boy what they’re like physically in stages. So first stage is hair color for example, second stage could be height, third stage could be body type, etc. An example would be if I was a black hair, short height, thick body type, I would match up with someone like Nicki Minaj. Just an idea which you could extend on. Hopefully it makes sense. I appreciate you!

I actually have a game like this mapped out called “Build a Sissy” where you choose age, hair color, and bra size, but it would take a LOT of work to make so I haven’t written it yet. Maybe some day though. :)

Anonymous said:

I would love to see a Tori Kelly caption. Her hair and body are not typical but beautiful for a white girl. I say that last sentence respectfully. I think having a caption with her would be great

Sure thing! Tori Kelly is a cutie. :)

Anonymous said:

Ok I'm not sure if u'll know these 2 cuz even I had to look them up for the names but anne dudek and maitland ward theyre the 2 blonde sisters from white chicks not sure if uve seen it but if u can could u make a caption for them please?

I DO know who they are! I’ve been thinking about doing a White Chicks caps because there’s a lot of cute looks in that movie (especially for Busy Phillips who I just love) so sure thing!

Anonymous said:

Could u do Yvette nicole brown from community? Id like to see some big girl love

Sure thing!

Anonymous said:

I already know that this request is probably gonna be a No but I still have to ask whats the ruling on GCI enhanced celebrities like Taylor swift from Cats?  Or is that too much like "Furry" stuff. Now I'm Feeling this will be a No for multiple reasons

So it is not an issue with CGI “enhanced” celebrities but for Cats it is because I do not have a Furry fetish and I get uncomfortable thinking about writing caps for it. But I write caps with “manips” all the time (photoshopped images of celebs) so I’m not ruling out CGI enhanced celebs all together.

Anonymous said:

Can you do one of Lindsey stirling? And for the story can it be a guy trying to learn Violin but he cant seem to focus he even tried hot female teachers but it didnt work then he gets a male teacher than he starts focusing and wanting to please the teacher he becomes a sissy sorry its a long request

Sounds fun, sure thing!

Anonymous said:

Hi big fan and I think you’ve been doing amazing work. Is there anyway you could do a story about a guy who loses a bet to sorority girl and is forced to get his nails painted and turned into a girl? I love the idea of having a boys nails painted against his will. I’d love one with Selena Gomez but if you think another celeb would be better I leave that cumpletely to you.

Totally! This sounds fun. :D

Anonymous said:

Can you do thelma and Louise?

I’m assuming you mean Geena Davis & Susan Sarandon from Thelma & Louise so yes. Yes I can. :)

Anonymous said:

Can you do a caption from the movie bridesmaids? Like when theyre all trying on dressess or something?

I haven’t seen Bridesmaids (I know I know) but I can try something. :)

Anonymous said:

it would be super cool if you could do some more games! They’re my fav

Glad you like them! As long as I’m not on hiatus, games will be posted every second Saturday. I’ve already got two set for June. :)

Anonymous said:

Hey huge fan of your recent work and super excited about new caps!! Do you think you could do one about a college guy who drops out in pursuit of being a stand up comedian, but the comedy club needs a female comic so they turn him into a girl? I was thinking maybe Nikki Glaser, she so funny and sexy. Thanks can’t wait to see all your new stuff!!

Oooo, Nikki Glaser is great. Sure thing!

Anonymous said:

Can you make a caption about a guy who makes fun of curvy and thicc women, where the women get their revenge and turn the guy into Nia Jax?

You got it!

Anonymous said:

Hi Me again on the topic of the assembly line worker caption sequel if you do it i just an idea for the story like before depicting the sissies "first time"  but you can have it be that the coworker doesnt know and is telling everyone about the chick he slept with last night and the sissy is just thinking "if only they knew"idk i thought it was good anyways thank u again

So this message is in reference to a sequel caption that was requested & that I did write and will be posted in June. I’m sharing it here to let the anon know that I wrote the cap BEFORE I got this second request so there will be a followup but the story will be different. I hope that’s ok.

Anonymous said:

Hi idk if u watch wrestling or not I see u have some captions of wwe womens wrestlers but im not sure have far ur knowledge of it is? Could u do a caption of Rhea Ripley if u know her?

I have never seen a single episode of WWE, I do not watch wrestling, and yet somehow every time someone requests a wrestler I know who she is. Don’t ask me how because I do not know. Anyways, yeah I can do a Rhea Ripley one. :)

Anonymous said:

Could you do a caption about a janitor for sissy co. That finds out the strange goings on at work and tries to blow the whistle on the whole operation but is caught and turned into a sissy maid for the sissy co. Corporate office abit specific I know but ive been thinking on that awhile however u do it will be perfect thanks

You got it!

Anonymous said:

Could you do katheryn Hahn from wandavision specifically the 80s look with the Big hair and aerobics outfit

Oooo, sounds nice. I’ll type that up for sure. :)

Anonymous said:

Hi big fan of your caps!! Do you think you could do a cap where a football player wants to go to the NFL but gets hurt, so they turn him into a female commentator, maybe Lauren Rutledge? If you don’t know her, she’s been a college football reporter for awhile and was also a former Miss Florida. Anyways I just think any guy would be lucky to be turned into her and I love your caps keep up the great work!!

Me: *googles Lauren Rutledge to see if it’s who I’m thinking of* How do I know who this is? Anyways, yes I can write this. :)

...for some reason there are no GIFs of her though so I’m just gonna move on.

Anonymous said:

Hi I'm the one that requested the LONG list of celebs I'm still really sorry about that I didnt realize how many it actually was till I looked back so I wanna retract some for your sake tell ya what if you havent done any already just do the ones that are specifically marked (as in the ones detailed by movie or show theyre in) the ones that are just names you can leave out i knoe its still alot but hopefully that takes some weight off of ya sorry again

You don’t have to be sorry! Like I said, in the future I’d ask that folks limit requests to no more than 3 celebs at a time but you didn’t know that. I’d never said that before. I typed up every celebrity and they’re going to be sprinkled in during June. Hope you like them! :)

Anonymous said:

Hello ^^ I love your work. Can u make a caption with the name "jules" and Ariana Grande please? Thank you

Sure thing!

Anonymous said:

Hey, not really an ask, but something I needed to share

I'm the one that asked for the Stephanie Beatriz caption from a whole back, and I absolutely loved how it turned out. Each time you roll out a new caption is like a small thrill to me and I read them right as they're released.

Now this wouldn't be an ask if I wasn't asking something, right? Well, next month sees the release of the "In the Heights" movie, and there's an opportunity there to do a series of captions using stephanie Beatriz from that same movie.

In conclusion, I love your captions so much, you're amazing!

Awww, this is such a sweet message. Thank you! And YAAASSSSS! Ever since the first trailer for In the Heights dropped I was like, “I must write a caption with her in this!” So you can imagine how fun it’s been waiting this entire time. *eye twitches*. We’ll have to wait until the movie comes out for me to be sure I can find a good image but this IS a caption I want to write. :)

Anonymous said:

Hi I just recently came across your blog and fell in love with it!! The caption with the football player being turned into Bella Thorne is one of my favorites!! I’d love so much if you could do a sequel or something to that cap it was so amazing and I need to know what else happens to “her”. I’m not sure if this is possible or if you even do sequels but this cap was great and I look forward to all the others!!!

Glad you like it! I’m always looking for sequel captions to write on Throwback Thursday so you’ll get this for sure. :)

Anonymous said:

Hey big fan! Do you think you could do a caption where a short guy gets made fun of by all his girl friends for how short he is? Ariana Grande is fairly short and I think a caption of her (of age of course) would be awesome

You got it!

Anonymous said:

Can you do one with the bella twins as two guys who fought over the same girl then the girl turns them both into look alikes of her but then they start fighting over the same guy

Yep!

Anonymous said:

Do you know suzy berhow? Or angie Griffin? If so would love a caption of either of them please

Sorry sweetie, I don’t know who those are. :(

Anonymous said:

Would appreciate more Sia captions please when u get the chance

I will remember that. :)

Anonymous said:

Can make some Winnie Harlow caption please? I adore her style

Sorry lovely, I don’t know who that is. :(

Anonymous said:

How about instead of removing the captions with Demi in them ,the images of Demi were just replaced with another celeb and if Demi is mentioned by name in the caption then that could be edited  to mention a different celeb. I respect Demi's decision I do but lets not lose some well made captions. Also if you could please make a caption where Amy Adams feminises a fan and raises them as her daughter and Kristen Stewart makes you her submissive wife that would be appreciated. I'm a fan of them.

So about the Demi Lovato captions: I understand your feelings but I’m still going to delete the original captions. Because of how my captions are made I can’t just go back in & swap out an image or edit the text, I have to remake it from the ground up. I am hoping to do that with some (maybe all) of the Demi Lovato captions & re-publish them, but I’m still going to delete the originals.

I can do the Kristen Stewart one for sure and I’ll TRY to do the Amy Adams one I just am not 100% sure I can find a pic for that but we’ll see. :)

Anonymous said:

If it’s possible before your summer hiatus could you do a caption with Amanda Crew (silicon valley, sex drive)?

I will do one with Amanda Crew but I can’t commit to doing it before the hiatus.

About the hiatus: I don’t know when it’s going to be. I want to TRY to make it to at least July 18th because I have a specific game in mind I want to post for 5 years of Celebrity TG Captions games, but after that I have no idea. I’ve been writing caps for a longer stretch of time since normal since I’ve switched to a part-time blog so I might burn out at any second but for right now I’ve still got some juice.

[bedtimebrain]

EXO KAI: Detective Gone Wrong P3

You can find the masterlist to the other parts on my bio/description!

Characters: JonginxYou

You came to know Jongin by accident, but have no clue he’s EXO’s Kai. And when you found out....

You walked away blankly, remaining in a daze until your phone started vibrating in your pocket.

It was your boss who called and anxiously asked if you could cover her shift from the afternoon as she forgot about her wedding anniversary dinner.

You gladly agreed, thinking it might be better to have something to occupy yourself with today. Otherwise you’re just going to be spending the day thinking about you and jongki.

Still sane enough to be in need for breakfast, you went by the convenience store to pick up a sandwich. Standing in front of the fridge, you paused to think

What does jongki want? Does he... like me ?

And he KISSED ME TOO?! That’s definitely something only couples do right?!

How did everything escalate so fast overnight ?!

‘Excuse me, are you getting anything? You’re standing in the way’

You must have stood there for quite a while, looking at the irritated face of the customer. Apologising, you just grabbed whatever sandwich there was on the shelf and left after paying.

Falling deep in thought and replaying what happened last night again, you opened your sandwich packaging and bit down on your sandwich  

EW! Egg Mayo!

You sighed. Feeling a little more miserable with wrong sandwich choice, you continued feeding on your thoughts on the way home.

You dive straight into your bed and hugged your big Coney plush the first thing you got back. You screamed into Coney like a lunatic and kicked the air violently with your legs.

Stupid jongki, who does he think he is. Ah yes, I secretly gave you a kiss, so what. IT WAS JUST A FRIENDLY KISS CAUSE YOU WERE CUTE.

BUT WHATS WITH KISSING ME ON THE LIPS AND WAKING UP TOGETHER LIKE ITS ABSOLUTELY NORMAL

What a flirt!! See y/n you were right. Rich, handsome guys, tsk. Bound to be bad.

You threw coney to the side and your phone came crashing down with it from your side table.

Groaning, you bend over your bed to pick it up, only to see a message from the dear boy you wanted out of your mind right now.

J:I’m heading out for work soon~ have a good day today😙

Is that a kissy face?!

Oh goodness, you were so annoyed.

Kim Jongki, are you playing with me right now?? WE ARE NOT ATTACHED

.....

at least not yet (?)

Tossing the phone aside, you decided to take a shower. Afterall showers always work best for any occasion. You got up and spent a peaceful 20minutes running under hot water, clearing your thoughts. 

Though still feeling bothered, you were definitely more refreshed. Time check , it was about time for you to get changed and pick up lunch on the way to the store.

Dusting on some light make up, bunning up your hair, you changed into your working clothes. In 30 minutes you were out of the house.

On the bus ride to your working area, you were so torn between checking your phone and not to. You wanted to know if jongki texted you again, but you didn’t really want to deal with this situation.

Fiddling with your phone, you almost dropped it when it beeped to announce a message had arrived.

That’s a sign, I should look at it! Since it rang when I’m thinking whether I should

Excitedly you unlocked your phone and checked your notification, only to find that it was just a reminder message from your landlord to pay your rent.

Your heart literally dropped because you actually really wanted to receive a message from him. Just then your phone beeped again and this time it was from jongki!

J: y/n ah what’s for lunch today? I’m having kimchi stew. Texting because I thought about you who might be board having an off day today :p

Sigh, you can’t deny that boy is so cute and lovable. But you still weren’t ready to reply him. You wanted things to be clearer between both of you. While uncertainty in relationships can be the most heart fluttering period, you didn’t like being in that phase.

It wasn’t long before you reached your stop to alight. Not feeling particularly hungry yet, you stopped by street stalls along the way instead.

You arrived at your shop, feeling satisfied with the pajeon you just had. You almost forgot how therapeutic the scent of flowers were until you stepped in. The mixed floral scent of dew and freshness instantly released you from the troubled thoughts bugging you at the back of your head.

‘Unnie! I’m here! How could you forget your wedding anniversary , hahah. Have you bought a gift or something yet?’

‘Ah, y/n ah! My life saviour. No I haven’t bought anything! There’s just too many activities and occasions this month that I forgot about my own. Gosh’ she face palmed herself making you laugh

‘Then you better leave soon to get your gift! I’m here already anyway! I’ll just continue wrapping this bouquet you’re currently working on’

‘I’ll buy u a meal another day, sorry for calling you back on your off day~ oh right I’ve a parcel coming later, just open and let me know what’s inside. I ordered so many I can’t even remember what’s coming anymore.’ Removing her apron, she rushed off after saying googbye. 

Looking at the tasklist, it was going to be a busy day. 5 bouquets to finish and lots of prep for the workshop tomorrow. You immersed yourself in the wrapping right away. 

A few minutes later, your phone lighted up. It was a message from jongki.

J:yaaa, are you ignoring me deliberatelyy? do you want to come over again on sunday? 

You scoffed when you saw the message because your detective mind came to a conclusion that the latter question was just bait to get the answer to his first question. He was tempting you with a chance at his place that was a hit or miss if you don’t reply him. 

You put down the stalks of flowers you were still holding in your hands, you paused to form an appropriate reply. 

Text:

my lunch was great, and i cant go over on sunday, im going to my parent’s place 

You typed then deleted it, doesn’t sound about right, you remember telling him yesterday that you got a half day shift on sunday which you really hated.

Trying again,

i got called back at work 

Sounds fine? Should you send it like this? 

‘Delivery!’

Reacting in shock , you pressed the send button by accident at the voice of delivery man

ah shucks! 

You closed your eyes and hit yourself on the head imaginatively. Smiling at the delivery guy, you received the parcels and signed them off. 

One of it came in a tube, while the other was in a box.

What in the world did unnie order that would come in a tube? Wallpapers? Drawings??

The tube really piqued your curiosity, so you decided to check that first. opened it first.

Opening the tube, you pulled out a rolled piece of paper. Unrolling it, you noticed at the top right was a black and white logo that writes EXO Obsession. 

Ohhhh EXO!! Unnie likes exo?

Ever since you watched 100 days my prince, you had a positive inclination towards EXO. Which also reminded you of jongki who seems to like EXO Kai.

You wondered who was going to be in this poster. Not like you would recognise them though, you thought, unless its do kyungsoo ssi. 

A little excited, you pulled the poster open to full length.

Looking at the poster that stared back at you. Your smile faded away. Your jaw dropped.

‘Jongki oppa?’ you muttered under your breath

There was an uncanny resemblance between the man in the poster and jongki. 

 No way, who the hell is this from EXO? 

You turned the poster to the back hoping to find a name of the man in the picture. But there was no information.

Flipping back over, you looked closer at the other small details on the logo, you found this 3 lettered word staring back at you — ‘KAI’.

EXO KAI? Jongki watches his dance videos... or rather, Jongki also can dance ..

There were only two logical possibilities to this , either jongki has a twin or... kai is jongki..

You had to know the answer to this incredulous situation.

Making a grab for your phone, you saw jongki had already replied you , but you weren’t even going to read it

Madly typing away

Y: Oppa, do you have a twin ?

You could feel blood pumping through your veins as you sent it.

How could this be possible ? He mustn’t be exo right?

Although you weren’t interested in boy groups, there’s no one that hasn’t heard of EXO in the whole of korea. And that’s how popular EXO is.

Even though you have never checked them out to find out how they looked like, but you still knew a few names. Names like Baekhyun , chanyeol and.. kai..

Thinking of it now, it seems to all make sense that he could dance, he has abs, he’s rich, works till late, doesn’t reply all the time....

As you waited for his text to come back in, you googled EXO Kai.

Birth name: Kim Jong In

Birthday: 14 Jan 1994

Height: 1.82m

1994 was his birth year, that’s right. Kim Jong in, difference of 1 word. 1.82m, yes, obviously describes him. Google images ? 100% similarity.

If it’s not a twin....

Ding!

His msg came in

J: uh, no.. that was so random though, why? Saw someone looking like me?

You didn’t want to believe this. The friend you’ve been hanging with and even sleeping at his place.. is kai?

In the past, when you watched those cliche dramas you never understood why people made such a huge fuss when they found out their dating partner has a hidden identity.

Like isn’t it totally exciting and fun! Especially if the person turns out to be some rich CEO. Wow, your rags to riches story would come true over night.

That’s how you thought you would react.

But honestly, all you felt was some sense of betrayal right now.

Y: oppa, I think I just found out what you do...

you sent

Just in a few seconds, he replied

J:really?! What’s your wild Guess this time ?

Your hands were shaking as you prepared to type this. The moment you send this and he confirms it... what are you going to do ?

But still, this has to be done

Y: EXO Kai. Kim Jong In.

Again, he replied instantaneously

J:omg, took you long enough!! How did you find out though??!

Clearly not being able to sense the tension over the phone, he was, as usual, cheery about everything.

Y:so it’s true ? Why did you lie your name to me?

You had no idea why you felt so emotional to the brink of tears about this truth.

J: ah, I’m sorry for lying about that.. I was worried initially if I told you my real name you might make a connection and recognise me at the start.

He double texted as soon as you received that msg, saying

J: y/n, are you ok?

You typed

no I’m not. I don’t even know how I should be feeling now, or what I should be doing about our friendship.

But.. you didn’t send it. You switched your phone to do not disturb and kept it in your bag.

You stared blankly at the poster for a while before putting it back in the tube. You’re still in disbelief. This situation was ridiculous. But it was logical.

In a state of mental breakdown, you couldn’t even wrap your bouquets right. You switched over to prepping for the workshop tomorrow instead. But your mind was so preoccupied with the whole fiasco that you kept missing things out. You just wanted work to end and have the time to yourself.

The entire day went by in a mess, but at least it finally ended. Back at home, you scroll through the multiple texts he sent you

J: hmm, seems like you’re pretty shocked about this right?

J: I wanted to tell you but you said you preferred if I didn’t though..

Then there was also a missed call from him

J: Call me back?

You swiped away all his notifications. There is something you really want to do, but not really ready to. You contemplated

Should I? Search kai up ?

Typing into Google, you searched kai. It was strange, just 24 hours ago you guys were so close, almost like lovers. But right now, you’re searching him up and getting to know him like an unreachable stranger.

You tapped into one of those webpages that told fans his entire life story. From his blood type to who he has ever dated and all that small little things people conclude from what he has said.

Again, you felt a stab in your heart and sour inside. These were things you never knew about , but surely, everyone else but you knew. It was like... jongki wasnt jongki, this him is different, it feels so far and distant from the one you knew...

Pondering on that thought, you let out a bitter laugh. Jongki really wasnt jongki. He was never jongki.

Switching to YouTube , you click on ‘mmmh’ the first result when you searched kai. No matter how you tried to keep an open mind, you didn’t like it. His costume made him strange and the song really wasn’t your type.

Deciding that’s enough for the day, you put your phone aside and tried your best to fall asleep.

—-

Back at work the next day, you decided to get some ‘intel’ from your boss about kai.

‘Unnie, you like EXO Kai?’

‘Ne!!! Wae? Isn’t his visuals to die for???’ She reacted so excitedly upon hearing his name

‘Why don’t I remember you liking EXO though?’

‘I recently just got into them because of my friend who kept playing their songs on repeat in her car’ she laughed as she fixed the flowers

‘Why did you ask though? Since when were you interested in boy groups?’ She continued asking

‘Ah... When I checked the poster yesterday I thought kai was really good looking, so I’m just asking haha. So what’s so nice about kai you bought a poster?’ Finally asking what you really wanted to .

‘Oh gawd, you really wanna know? I could go on a whole day about jongin. Though he is sooooo fierce on stage , killer looks and everything, but he has such a cute personality!! You know when they ........’

And she went on and on about it, even showing you clips of kai on variety shows, interviews, etc. In these the sense of familiarity was back, you felt like this was the Jongki you knew. Oh well, it’s Jongin now, you really got to change it out.

You laughed along with your boss and you understood why he had so many fan girls. Introducing you to some EXO songs, you had to admit you really liked them!

Knowing more about kai now, you went back home that night and sat infront of your laptop, making a search for EXO’s variety shows, music videos and the likes.

You searched up ‘kai cute moments’ and you wanted to sqush him because he was just so cute like how he was normally. At the same time you can’t help but feel a little jealous that you’re sharing these sides of him with other people too.

You watched his dance videos and he was literally a dancing king. Thinking back to when he danced for you, you suddenly realised just how many girls would die to be in your place.

It was already 1am by the time you finished your search. A msg came in just as you were about to crash

J: are you up? I’m going to the convenience store to grab some food. Are you hungry? Want to come along?

Seeing his msg, you felt a little bad about ignoring him for the 2nd day now. How should you reply him now that the situation is a little awkward ?

Nicely, your phone died as you were thinking.

Alright, just a sign I should go to bed, oppa I’ll reply you after I get my phone charged up tmr.

——

You woke up to an absolutely crisis that you overslept. Considering how you didn’t sleep well for the past 2 nights over jongin, this was bound to come. You quickly washed up and left for work.

Plugging your phone into the portable battery, you phone came back to live. Again, jongin was persistent in his texts. 

J:y/n ah don’t ignore me please

J:Come over on sunday? 

J: I’m waiting for your reply. 

It was 1.30am when he asked you to come over on sunday, but his last message was past 3am. He must have been thinking about what happened with you.. You felt bad for being so absorbed in how you felt and failed to consider his feelings  when it really wasn’t his fault.

All this started out because of your dumb self who wanted to play detective. But then again, if you had found out who he was from the start, would you have gotten this close with him? Possibly not. You replied him without delay

 Y: i’ll come over on sunday

The shop gets really busy on saturdays, packed with workshops, tons of deliveries and online orders. You didn’t have time to check your phone till the end of the day, at which you saw you missed jongin’s call and texts again.

J: omg, you finally replied! is there anything you want to eat on tomorrow? i could get it if you’re coming over from work

J: we are all ok now right? 

Should you call him back? It wasn’t like you were completely okay yet, you couldn’t imagine how it would like seeing him tomorrow. He was surely still that jongki you knew, but he was also kai.

Thinking to leave the rest for tomorrow to think about, you just replied 

Y: there’s nothing i really want, just get whatever you like:)

Back at home, for the 3rd night in a row, you stayed up like a fan girl again, watching all of EXO ladders, their concert videos. You squealed and fangirled over them like a teenage girl. The more you watched, the more you started falling harder for them.

---

A halfday shift always makes your day go by real fast. You were standing outside jongin’s door. You were suddenly reminded of the times you watched 100 days my prince with him and talked about D.O. who he probably knows 1000x better than you do. And how you asked if he was a kai fan. Oh gawd, you wanted to jump into a hole. Feeling a little nervous and a little awkward and hella embarrassed, you didn’t want to press the door bell.

Finally pressing the door bell, you waited for barely half a minute, which felt like eternity before he opened the door. You could even feel your palms sweating. 

‘Annyeong Y/N! Come in quickly!’

You didn’t reply him immediately, neither did you move an inch yet.  The smile on his face slowly faded and he just looked at you, starting to chew on his lips. 

Seeing his face once again, in real life, your heart skipped a beat. You knew it wasn’t because he was kai, but because he was still jongki, that someone special to you.

You quickly smiled back at him the moment you got out of your thoughts. He let out the breath that he has been holding, making you laugh. 

‘Annyeong, jong..’ you paused there, about to call him jongki 

‘annyeong jongin oppa’ it sounds weird to you, not to be calling him the name you were used to

You guess he must have been feeling a little awkward when you called him by his real name too, he scratched his head and chuckled.

‘I ordered pizza, are you hungry? let’s eat’ he gestured for you to go to the dining area and was ready to walk away

But you felt you had to talk to him first about this, 

‘oppa, can we talk?’ 

He turned around to face you, he nodded slowly

‘sure..’

You walked over to him, leaving a comfortable space between the both of you. 

He avoided your eye contact as you started

‘so... EXO Kai huh?’

‘...y/n, i.. you should know i have no intentions to hide anything from you deliberately, i was ready to tell you anytime. but i also thought you would react in a ‘pleasant surprise’ way rather than a ‘nasty shock’ received, so i just let it be’

He looked at you with sincerity in his beautiful eyes which showed how bad he felt. But you honestly just wanted to clear the air and lighten up the mood

‘actually, I just wanted to tell you that... I became an EXOL!’

You exclaimed and laughed. His eyes widened and stared at you like you were out of your mind, before bursting into laughter too.

But his laughter soon turned to sobs, and he rubbed his eyes profusely, which got you stunned

‘I... I thought I messed up our friendship, our relationship. And I really missed you, I didn’t want our us to end like this.....’ he said in between sobs and almost sounded like he was wailing

‘We haven’t even started...! Y/N, you scared me when you didn’t even reply at all! I thought you didn’t want to contact me anymore!’ He give you a light push on your shoulder as he emotionally spilled out all his thoughts

Though you were really confused, it was heart wrenching to see him cry so hard. You quickly put your arms around his waist and have him a hug.

‘Oppa, I’m sorry for the past few days I ignored you. I was just trying to figure how to handle the weight of the truth that you’re EXO Kai. Hahah, I’m so confused at your reaction right now you know.’

Calming down, but still sounding nasal he said

‘I’m going to make you stay here today until I’m convinced that you don’t hate me for being kai.

Oh and that you won’t go MIA on me again if you found out some other kai stuff’

Breaking away from the hug, he grabbed onto your shoulders

‘Y/N I like you, I really like you, so don’t leave my life please’

His impromptu confession got you feeling shy, you didn’t know what to do , but merely nodded in response.

Feeling all bright again he grabbed your hand and pulled you into the house.

You were glad it was as if nothing has changed, except that you probably became the luckiest fangirl alive just like this.

———

This fic went through so many content changes, I’m so glad I finished writing this! For those that waited for this part, I hope it wasn’t too underwhelming:,) feel like there’s definitely still a lot for me to work on as a new writer.

Also just dropping a note to say this would most probably be my last fic tell after may! Please check out of my other fics in the meantime too:) Hopefully I’ll be back with better writings !

[cybernightwanderer]

A little note on biology, family, time and irony.

Today i woke up to realize my mom went trought my wallet, and who knows what else. The last known time i found out she did this, was one year ago, when she beat the crap out of me, pulled me by my hair and threaten to kick me out for the house without a chance to ask for anyone help or even get my shit. She did all this, because she demanded 100 euros extra to what i was paying her monthly and i said no because i was trying to get enought money to leave. To wich she threatned me again that i can never leave if i dont pay my deth to her. Yada yada, same old same old. She used to do this a lot, she would control my money even tho i always payed what i owed her. Yet she always wanted more, and would always guilt trip me if i even spent that money on myself, and would force me to buy random shit for her. All trought out my life she did this, going trought my things and then demanding and interrogating me using force. She never did these things to my brothers, and they actually never helped at home, not with money , not even taking a trash bagg out. I remenber everytime she even asked my brother to set the table it would turn into a two hour yelling marathon, and then id be the one to do it. This was daily, i couldnt rest from work, i couldnt study for school. And if i said i was busy id get punched, pulled by my hair and so forth. I was always the dog, that did everything she ordered and gave her what she demanded. I would be left with 40 euros on my pocket after a whole month of working just because she forced me to, and i couldnt say a word about it, and even so she would control my money. Few years forward and she still did that, but more violently and sneaky. When i was younger she would just take it and then hit me etc. Or take it while hitting me. Wether it was food, money or even clothes, a jacket , or a scarf. I remenber having a specific outfit for job interviews, and i would let her know in advance that i would have a job interview X day. And i would warn her, dont use this shirt or if u use it put it back before the morning. And every single time, i had an important interview or just job meeting, i would go crazy in the morning crying and go trough all my shit looking for that shirt, because she would use it and not put it back. Then there would be yelling, at 5 in the morning, me asking her where the shirt was and she yelling back she didnt toutch it, or even toutch my stuff. Wich later that day coming home finding that shirt on my bed, and her just brushing the situation  off her shoulder. And then threatning to hit me when i asked her. So eventually i just gave up. I told her, take what u want, use what you want. Growing up, i never had my own clothes, my own things, and the little i had , my brother would steal it. if i had a bag of chips i bought with my own money i saved up my brother would steal it. If i had saved up money my brother would steal it. And when i cried for help i got beat up. “ stop complaining about ur bother “ / “ stop crying he said he didnt “ / “ leave ur brother alone “ etc etc... Around at the age or 18/19 when i had a more permanent job, i started buying my own pants, my own shirt and my own things. I didnt have to wear my brothers clothes anymore. I was free. But not getting stuck into those times right now, because if i star writting eveything i dont think a day would be enough. So...  Like i was saying , today she went trought my wallet and checked my bank balance, etc. And i went to her room and i asked her, “ hey did you go in my room? where you looking for something or do you need something of mine?” And i wasnt even done with that sentance, she got really agressive and said “ i dont need shit from your room, i didnt enter, why??? “ To wich i replied, well my things were moved around and my door blocker was out of place, and i always close it so the door doesnt move. To wich she replied “ well it was the wind “.. Note : the door stopper is heavy and the door was jammed, and even if it was the wind, it wouldnt push the door locker all the way bellow the bed.... Im still shaking...why am i shaking? Its not even anger, its just hopelessness.... Everyday, my life just doesnt change, nothing changes. I feel crazy, i legit feel like im going insane and can only sit and watch myself get worse and worse. Is this what she wants? to send me to a mental hospital or some shit? to lock me up in a room and im not even capable of getting up? Is that her goal?... Is that why she “saved me “ from killing myself? Im more afraid of her having complete control over my body and life than of dying or being arrested... Does that even make sence?

Every now and then i google on how to make a will, and what i need to make a will official. I know its stupid but i mean if i ever die, at least i want the good things that i have , my things, the things i got with my own money to go to someone i love, someone who actually gives a shit about me. I dont know. I know how to kill myself, and i have what i need for it to happend.` I just kinda hoped i could still have a life somehow.. I hoped i could escape this, i hoped maybe in the future if i work hard enough i could be happy someday. I could have my own house and a decent job, that i could have my health back, that i could have myself back. I havent done it, the knowledge of failling and being sent to a mental hospital or being crontrolled by her, scares me, completly terrorizes me... ..... im gonna leave this here, i cant seem to write anything else whitout crying my shit off..

[likeawildthing]

one week since u looked at me

James and LIly fight and it’s 100% the other person’s fault, and everyone is just a little bit unhinged. 

3371 Words

For @expressopatronum​, who requested a jily fic based on the Barenaked Ladies song. :D

tues.

James Potter to M8S B4 D8S: well. Fuck.

James Potter: im broken up

James Potter: literally

James Potter: and metaphorically

James Potter: and every other kind of shitty ally tbh

James Potter: hello?????

James Potter: im in Crisis here

Peter Pettigrew: we know, mate. You ok?

James Potter: how??

Peter Pettigrew: well…

James Potter: she texted u???

Remus Lupin: she texted me

Peter Pettigrew: then he told us

Remus Lupin: wtf, Prongs

James Potter: u believe her???

Remus Lupin: didn’t say that, mate. Just a weird situation, yeah??

James Potter: Weird = shitty, then yea. her fault tho for being so dramatic!! And do u arseholes have a group chat w/out me???

Sirius Black: nah. y would we do smth like that to u prongs. go chill @ mine. AND i for one am being a good mate and withholding judgment. (except on evans cos shes clearly at fault here)

James Potter: damn straight she is. 100%!!! and im already @ urs, actually. where r u tho?

Sirius Black: alcohol

James Potter: Good Man

Remus Lupin: I’m getting pizza

James Potter: don’t bother?? never eating again

James Potter: PS no more talking to evans unless its for espionage

Peter Pettigrew: this should be fun

 - - -

 James Potter to Not Lovely Lily: ready for ur apology, like, whenever, babe

James Potter: no?

James Potter: sirius’s sofa is super fucking cosy, btw

James Potter: PS whatever the current differences between us, pls dont stoop so low as to eat Mums biscuits

wed.

 Lily Evans to StupidHair BigMouth: the biscuits were fucking delicious.

James Potter: WOW

- - -

Sirius Black to squatter potter: BABE. u know i theoretically want to be sympathetic to ur emo angst. or whatever. but y the FUCK r u watching x-files at half volume at 3:37 fucking am

James Potter: go back to sleep??

Sirius Black: fucking difficult w the light coming in under my door

Sirius Black: AND u mess up my recs w that shit

James Potter: ill tell pete u think x-files is shit

James Potter: PS dana Scully is /not shit

Sirius Black: the redhead???

Sirius Black: fuckall, prongs, if ur watching the show bc she has red hair

James Potter: im NOT. watching bc it’s a Good show.

Sirius Black: is not

James Potter: it holds up!!

Sirius Black: fine. im not arguing w u bc u cant take the blow of being wrong. i get it. but if u wank to sculley on my sofa, potter, ill end you.

James Potter: u wldnt

Sirius Black: imported velvet. vintage. custom ticking. turned legs. u know how i feel abt that lounge, Babe.

James Potter: /i wldnt

Sirius Black: …

James Potter: k. ill stop

Sirius Black: damn straight. uve been broken up for a day??

James Potter: 31.25 hrs. n we ARENT broken up

Sirius Potter: whatever. make up with evans or im kicking you out

James Potter: what happened to being a good mate????

Sirius Black: making up w evans is whats good for u

James Potter: u know its not that simple.

Sirius Black: if ur waiting for me to ask u WHY its not simple….dont. shldve done that when lupin was here.

James Potter: i /did. i still need to process tho.

Sirius Black: process alone, w the volume below 12 & ur prick IN your pants!

Sirius Black: and reset xfiles to s6e4

- - -

James Potter to #1 MUM <333: mum…you up?

Euphemia Potter: no

James Potter: …wow

James Potter: Good to know whose side ur on???

Euphemia Potter: I’m staying neutral.

James Potter: can you at least make me more biscuits?

Euphemia Potter: no. I gave her permission to eat them. James Potter: p sure that’s taking sides!!!

James Potter: are u talking to her right now???

Euphemia Potter: Her mother has passed, dear. She relies on me for situations like this.

James Potter: WOW

Euphemia Potter: weren’t you just here asking for your grandmother’s engagement ring last week?

James Potter: yes!!

Euphemia Potter: Perhaps you should come over for breakfast tomorrow.

James Potter: no

James Potter: …ill think about it

- - -

Sirius Black to squatter potter: DID I JUST HEAR U FUCKING GROAN

thurs.

James Potter to Babe: listen…sorry abt the sofa thing

James Potter: maybe outta line a bit. I wont watch xfiles tonight tho

James Potter: i can come over tonight, right???

Sirius Black: imported vintage italian velvet lounges b4 m8s

- - -

James Potter to sailor moony: and fuck, like. she deadass looked at me and said ‘im angry’ what does that even mean??? How can she be angry at an accident??

Remus Lupin: Prongs. uve told me this 12 times 

James Potter: seven. my soul splits every time I tell it, so id know

James Potter: fuck

James Potter: LUPIN

James Potter: if u dont answer ill stop supplying ur Weetabix Habit

Remus Lupin: You wouldn’t. You know why??? its 3 in the morning. I didn’t sleep bc two nights ago u were making us listed to the Lily Playlist. Last night Padfoot wldnt stop texting me abt u watching x-files (???) and tonight…I NEED SLEEP 

James Potter: ur right. im not heartless.

James Potter: unlike evans

James Potter: i /am desperate tho

James Potter: if u answer, i wont come over and bug u in person.

Remus Lupin: Deal. So what else did she say?

James Potter: thats it!

Remus Lupin: normal voice, or scary quiet rage voice?

James Potter: wld i be texting u @3am if it was the normal one?

Remus Lupin: fair point…just surprised that’s all she said, considering you killed her pet

James Potter: first mum, now u?? i went to breakfast w/ her this morning and she AMUSHED ME!! ddnt even make bacon! a two hr lecture and No Bacon.

James Potter: over a fish! Remus Lupin: lily’s fish. which u killed. James Potter: it was a tragic, unavoidable accident!!

James Potter: ac·ci·dent 1. an unfortunate incident that happens unexpectedly and unintentionally, typically resulting in damage or injury. google does not lie.

James Potter:  anyway thts what i get for doing Chores and trying to help around the flat

James Potter: i can feel ur disapproval, lupin

James Potter: she LOATHED that fish. she called it fish! how attached can u rlly be against smth u havent named. petunia pawned it off on her! she made Flushing jokes on the regular?? rly… was doing her a favor

Remus Lupin: please for the love of god tell me u didn’t tell her that

James Potter: which part

Remus Lupin: all of it. Any of it.

James Potter: well.

Remus Lupin: fuck

James Potter: so can i come over? 

Remus Lupin: …

James Potter: can i come in?

Remus Lupin: where are you?

James Potter: ur front steps

James Potter: i need Emotional Support, lupin

Remus Lupin: fine

fri.

James Potter to grlFIEND: still cant believe you tackled me to the ground this afternoon??? I should report u??

Lily Evans: I should report you??? trespassing? it’s how I’d treat any common burglar!

James Potter: 1. u know I’d be an Excellent burglar. don’t be harsh.

James Potter: 2. its not trespassing when i pay ½ rent

Lily Evans: Technically yes, but morally??? NOT ur flat

James Potter: you know how skeevy my teeth feel w/out my water flosser? which i still don’t have btw??

Lily Evans: I was so mad I threw ur attachments out, so

James Potter: Wow

James Potter: my rug burns are FINE, btw

Lily Evans: I had to buy a black dress, sew a veil, host a FUNERAL, write a EULOGY, send petunia a video of the whole thing, and ur whining about rug burns and a water flosser??? Lmao ok.

James Potter: lmao IM the dramatic one? OK

Lily Evans: Read 1:35:10 AM

James Potter: u actually have to, like, turn on the function for it to be a burn

Lily Evans: Read 1:36:14 AM

James Potter: …

Lily Evans: Read 1:36:25 AM

- - -

James Potter to Babe: u talking to me yet???

James Potter: it was an Accident

Sirius Black: Read 1:45:15 AM

Sirius Black: go to petes

- - -

James Potter: to pumpkin eater: PETE. My dude.

Peter Pettigrew: no.

James Potter: listen. black + lupin have fallen into dishonor

Peter Pettigrew: they haven’t

James Potter: they HAVE in collusion w/ one another and on their own, betrayed and disowned me. whts Dishonor if not that??

Peter Pettigrew: sirius told me u were wanking on his velvet sofa

James Potter: SCULLEY

Peter Pettigrew: i get it, but u know how he feels about that. second only to his motorbike.

James Potter: …

Peter Pettigrew: and u, ofc.

James Potter: he and remus both think x-files is shit

Peter Pettigrew: fuckers

James Potter: so can i come over?

Peter Pettigrew: go HOME, prongs. to ur girlfriend.

James Potter: p sure she dumped me???

Peter Pettigrew: 1. she LOVES ur fucking face. she nearly snogged it off in FRONT OF ME just last week?? shes just as miserable as u are.

Peter Pettigrew: 2. I live w/ my mum

Peter Pettigrew: 3. U rlly have a wanking problem.

Peter Pettigrew: 4. My mum has never seen a penis and I wont let the first one she sees be URS

James Potter: idk how to tell u this, pete, but shes a MUM, so…shes had kids…

James Potter: we can smoke

Peter Pettigrew: come in thru the back

 - - -

 James Potter to sailor moony: fuck

Remus Lupin: …you know my name isn’t actually ‘fuck’ … right? 

James Potter: Remus. Fuck.

Remus Lupin: isn’t pete watching you?

James Potter: he passed out.

Remus Lupin: dammit. where are you now??

James Potter: in a tree. like…u want to do a thought experiment with me?

Remus Lupin: …

James Potter: sorry, shldnt have phrased that as a question. Emotional Support.

Remus Lupin: you aren’t allowed to use that anymore.

James Potter: k, so like, if a person, however well-intentioned, right? like if they did something that hurt someone else. even if they didn’t Mean to. like maybe it’d be decent of them to say sorry??

Remus Lupin: you think???

James Potter: yea

James Potter: i mean…im Not saying that person shld. cos shes still bang out of order w/ the toothbrush. + the biscuits. + poisoning u and my mum against me.

James Potter: *their mate and their mum against them

Remus Lupin: you were saying…about the thought experiment?

James Potter: oh, like, well that person might owe the other person an apology

James Potter: *might. maybe. like 5% maybe

Remus Lupin: i would agree, but more like 95%

James Potter: just smth to Think about. Ya know??

James Potter: OK, heres the thing. its not hypothetical. talking abt evans ofc. cos like, i laughed, right? at her. while shes…crying. But!!! i smiled because it is kind of fucking funny??? shes overreacting + SOBBING. but, like, also cos shes so Cute and she did that elbow thing she always does when shes mad?? cannot convey how cute she was!! its so funny? that was, like, sure, the Wrong thing to do, because it just set her off More, and. ANYWAY, I could kind of…maybe…see how she would be upset by my laughing. or think I was laughing at her pain when really it was her anger. which doesn’t Sound like a good distinction, but it is a Solid distinction. ANYWAY, like, u know I have No Poker face, right?

Remus Lupin: you do wear your heart on you sleeve 

James Potter: we both know ive a LONG history of taking off my shirt

Remus Lupin: really? you, james fleamont potter, have a history of overreacting and making poor decisions and have impulse control problems? i had no. fucking. idea. completely shocked.

James Potter: imma ignore that u used my middle name + the bit abt the impulse control

Remus Lupin: apologize to her??

Remus Lupin: actually…get your thoughts together a little bit more than this, maybe? then apologize

James Potter: gotta figure how to get down from this tree first

James Potter: thx for the talk lupin

Remus Lupin: night, prongs

sat. 

James Potter to Maybe Lovely Lily: can I come home yet???

Lily Evans: lmao

Lily Evans: when u get ur shite together, yeah?

James Potter: u have all of my shite at OUR flat???

Lily Evans: delivered it to remus

 - - -

 James Potter to lupin, fuck: u have my stuff????

Remus Lupin: this pile of shite in my living room? yes.

Remus Lupin: come collect immediately pls.

James Potter: shove it in the spare closet

Remus Lupin: spare closet is full of pete’s contraband he doesn’t want his mum to see.

James Potter: right. well, go through and take what you want as payment.

Remus Lupin: already did. btw why do you have a sumo suit?

James Potter: she brought over the sumo suit???

Remus Lupin: yes.

James Potter: FUCKING WOW

James Potter: btw…how did she look? what all did she say? (not that I care!!!) but is she despondent w/out? dark circles? facial blemishes b/c she’s been too distracted to adhere to her rigorous skincare regime? did she even have the energy to contour??

Remus Lupin: she looked ok .

James Potter: whts that mean

Remus Lupin: i mean she looked fine.

James Potter: no tear tracks?

Remus Lupin: no.

James Potter: damn

Remus Lupin: she didn’t look great though? honestly, prongs, i think she’s just waiting for you to apologize.

James Potter: not a chance????

Remus Lupin: dammit. you were almost there last night

James Potter: ????

Remus Lupin: the thought experiment?

James Potter: i got high with pete last night

Remus Lupin: should’ve known.

James Potter: and I might have, except she gave back the sumo suit which is an act of war????

Remus Lupin: james…do not blow this…more out of proportion. ok?

James Potter: id never

Remus Lupin: BLOCKED

- - -

James Potter to #1 MUM: can i at least have the biscuit recipe???

Euphemia Potter: sent

- - -

James Potter to DEFO NOT LOVELY LILY: the sumo suit??? really???? u know how to cut deep, evans

James Potter: i thought this was going to blow over quickly but apparently no???

James Potter: PS I hope u like The Pic I posted on Instagram (dnt pretend like u arnt stalking me)

Lily Evans: u wldnt

James Potter: …already did

Lily Evans: btw I had to throw ur fave Tupperware away. contaminated w/ dead fish germs.

Lily Evans: like, I almost kept it and dint tell you, but my Conscience (a lil voice that tells u right from wrong) smote me, so….

James Potter: W O W. you kept a dead body in my fave Tupperware???? the one that keeps my soup warm???

Lily Evans: Read 11:13:09 PM

 - - -

 James Potter to Pete McGeet: listen: Chickity China the Chinese chicken

James Potter: and u…have a drumstick and your brain stops tickin’

James Potter: or smth

James Potter: anyway…wanna go to KFC???

Peter Pettigrew: what in the ever loving hell, prongs

James Potter: i think im cracking up

James Potter: defo pissed.

Peter Pettigrew: its sad. And a little bit pathetic.

James Potter: pathetic enough to stay at urs again tonight??? U know abt the others. And Mom wont let me on account of the principle.

Peter Pettigrew: if u bring KFC, yes

James Potter: me + the colonel are in a taxi now…

sun.

James Potter to Rude Remus: MATE

James Potter: got a burner phone

James Potter: PS imma pretend u ddnt block me

James Potter: anyway coming to go through my stuff, ok?

James Potter: Promise ill avoid ur sofa

Remus Lupin: sure thing.

- - -

James Potter to Lovely Lily: babe

James Potter: see u typing. u can pull that Read shit or whatever, but, like, I was sorting thru my stuff @ remus’s??? + I shldve done it yesterday….

James Potter: (dont tell him was here PLS bc hes pissed at me abt smth stupid)

James Potter: ANYWAY underneath the sumo suit – nice diversion btw, that super pissed me off – was a pack of brand new flosser attachments. + my flosser. u even rinsed it???

James Potter: like, Thanks

James Potter: coming home bc u obviously dnt Hate Me Eternally like u said before Lily Evans: i never said that! v frustrated w/ u but i don’t Hate u.

Lily Evans: listen. I know uve wanked (and cried??? oh yes. Pete told me.) urself out of all your friends’ good graces, so

Lily Evans: u can come back to the flat

Lily Evans: its, like, on a conditional basis

Lily Evans: we aren’t shagging

Lily Evans: u live on the couch

James Potter: we have a guest room???

Lily Evans: couch or bust

Lily Evans: you can use the guest bath tho

Lily Evans: and the kitchen…if you cook enough for me, too James Potter: cool

Lily Evans: cool

- - -

James Potter to M8S B4 D8S: fuck yessssssssssss

James Potter: have won!

James Potter: maybe technically it started as my fault? like 15%

James Potter: shes all but apologized!

James Potter: not formally ofc, but i know what she meant

James Potter: knew if I held out long enough, shed come around

James Potter: lupin…have been living in ur car btw….i owe u for crisps detailing

Remus Lupin: ew. Happy for u prongs. Gtfo of my car.

Peter Pettigrew: go home n wait for her to apologize

Sirius Black: wait before u apologize tho 2

James Potter: obvs (+ sorry abt ur velvet sofa Babe. ill pay to get it cleaned)

Remus Lupin: literally going to murder u all

mon.

 James Potter to #1 MUM: I know ur asleep, but I made u middle of the night biscuits.

James Potter: they r UTTER shit but I did Try

James Potter: thing is…u might have been a little (tiny bit!!) right about some of the things you said. Maybe. 

James Potter: anyway, am Home and will probably apologize to lily…soon

James Potter: and i love u and sorry i was so pissy abt no bacon

  - - -

James Potter to Lovely Lily: evans

Lily Evans: potter.

Lily Evans: how did u sleep?

James Potter: ok. u?

Lily Evans: meh

James Potter: i know id mentally said i wldnt do this for another day, on Principle, but Mum guilted me into it even tho she is still sleeping. Except she has a Point. So heres the thing ….

James Potter: and also moony said…

James Potter: i kind of, like,

James Potter: its like this, lil…

James Potter: well

Lily Evans: jfc babe don’t strain yourself, yea?

James Potter: u know what im saying tho 

Lily Evans: i do

Lily Evans: and same. (ish.))))

Lily Evans: it’s like this, james. i….

Lily Evans: fuck

Lily Evans: we rlly have to get better @ this.

Lily Evans: I KNOW it was an accident. and also, like, I sort of apparently overloaded the aquarium power cord in the first place w my hair dryer??? so…yeah

James Potter: fuck

Lily Evans: yeah….and I shouldn’t have, like, tackled u

James Potter: it wldve been hot if not for the rug burns

James Potter: and also i was insensitive w/ the laughing thing

Lily Evans: wait!! We hve to STOP

Lily Evans: can u not apologize yet. not fully to the point where I want to bone u??

James Potter: ….was kind of on a roll here tho

Lily Evans: yeah but we have to stop James Potter: y???

Lily Evans: the longer we fight..the better the make-up sex is going to be, yea? science

James Potter: tru…but id argue good make-up sex now is better than Great, theoretical make-up sex

Lily Evans: that WLD be true, but i, like, ordered something online… James Potter: something. or. like. Something.

Lily Evans: the Something u had bookmarked in ur private amazon wishlist hoping I’d find it

James Potter: stalker

James Potter: i love u….but i still think we should make up properly???? 

Lily Evans: no!!!! it’ll be here on Friday.

James Potter: i got u a new fish & everything!! named him eddie.

Lily Evans: nice!! but u know i hate fish. sold the aquarium to pay for the Something.

James Potter: well. Fuck.

Lily Evans: love you too

[nothingneverforever]

Yesterday (2019)

When I’d just seen the trailers and promo stuff for Yesterday, there was some great excitement in me. I loved The Beatles years ago, I mean, I really really loved them, I’ve got about 15 books on them, borrowed my mom’s credit card to shop online for DVDs of all their original movies when I was 14, etc etc, so Yesterday’s premise added up and seemed to look like something I’d enjoy: Danny Boyle, mysterious ultra-niche alternate reality in an otherwise utterly regular world, some kind of deadpan irony about the whole situation…

Then it came and went in cinemas and I never got down to seeing it. So I watched instead this film review by DazzReviews on Youtube, titled “Yesterday Missed A MASSIVE OPPORTUNITY (SPOILERS)”.  It’s a short and simple analysis of key weaknesses of the film, being that its actual contents greatly pale in comparison to its great potential. Even without watching the film, I understood Dazz’s gripe because even seeing snippets of the film bored me. It is such a unique, and almost cute idea afterall: a blackout causing selective loss of memory in every single individual in this world (save for 3, later to be discussed) where post-blackout, The Beatles and other cultural/social phenomenon do not and have never existed. Our protagonist, who pre-blackout was a struggling singer/songwriter, then decides to release Beatles songs from his memory as his own, thus gaining global popularity and attracting immense adoration. It’s not novel, perhaps reminiscent of time-travel narratives idk, but it’s still fun right?  

Yet even after watching this review video and understanding the film’s flaws and being able to imagine how disappointing the film would have been, watching it in full for myself was still an upsetting experience. Google tells me that Yesterday is of the ‘Drama/Fantasy’ genre, which gives me a good starting point for my critique: how utterly un-fantastical it is.

Our protagonist Jack Malik is LITERALLY the most vanilla, ungrateful, boring, not-alive, nothing-at-all, annoying, pathetically male (in terms of tantrum-throwing and ingratitude) character I have ever seen. None of this is hyperbolic, his character literally sucks so freakin much omfg, absolutely devoid of any redeeming or even remotely INTERESTING qualities at all. In fact save for maybe one scene (which I will talk about below), I don’t think there was another single second in the entire film where we saw him smiling. This is not to say that he’s portrayed as especially tortured or depressed in demeanor, merely to indicate his absolute dearth of warmth and personality.

Meanwhile, it becomes clear as the boring film progresses boringly that Yesterday is in fact nothing more than a love story. The cute Beatles twist is merely a device to show us how Jack and his “love interest” Ellie (inverted commas cos their love sucks omfg I cant imagine that ANYONE viewing it is convinced) were in fact meant to be, with Jack’s momentary superstardom existing to show him that all he ever wanted was his old life, the one with Ellie (even though they were never together because THEY ARENT EVEN MEANT TO BE IN THE FIRST PLACE OKAY….). But, just as Jack’s character itself is flawed and awfully written, our female protagonist Ellie is SOOOOOO early 2000s. Just think of the most typical stock supportive, sweet, pretty, unfailingly kind and patient female whose presence is taken for granted etc etc… So her stock sweetie pie female character coupled with the most unbelievably charmless and unlikable male character make for the most unshippable couple you could possibly imagine. We are supposed to be charmed by her obvious-to-everyone-except-him love for Jack, supposed to have our heartstrings tugged by the singular scene of teenage schoolgirl her standing by the wings of the stage with hearts in her eyes while teenage schoolboy him sings a most soulless rendition of Wonderwall but it literally does absolutely nothing. The means has not met the end! This is a grossly uninspiring love story and there is no fantasy whatsoever!!

Honestly how is this even a Danny Boyle product? But then again… Zhang Yimou, boasting the incredibly genius Raise the Red Lantern (1992) on his resume, also did The Great Wall (2016) so I guess even heroes have the right to bleed or even the best fall down sometimes or something. OMG WAIT  I just googled the film again and not only is it directed by Danny Boyle but also written by Richard Curtis LOL wtfffffffffff okay this is the worst film ever seriously

Early on just after the global blackout thing, before Jack becomes the huge superstar that he does after his music (“his” music) is released into the world, when he first decides to use the songs of The Beatles, he is cajoled by his parents into performing for them in their humble living room. (by the way his parents are played by Sanjeev Bhaskar and Meera Syal who I have LITERALLY seen in about 1000 British TV shows and movies by now… idk maybe Yesterday was intended as a semi-ensemble cast film? Since there are other “appearances” by other known faces… ok whatever.) I guess this scene of him, superstar-to-be, sitting down at his piano in the claustrophobic living room with his parents exaggerating their domestic inclinations and comforts (by holding their cups of tea and settling themselves into their sofa-chairs etc) is meant to be comedic, we’re meant to laugh at how his parents have no idea the genius that is about to be released unto the stratosphere embodied by their all-great son Jack Malik, and it’s a predictable scene: his parents get disturbed by the bell and other things in the first 10 seconds of his performance, so Jack has to begin Let It Be 4 times over and never gets past a few lines… and okay, it’s funny because they are treating Jack’s “performance” as such because he has never before produced anything worthy of actual attention and has never performed in any manner that has demanded any respect given that he was an absolutely mediocre singer, but the scene is ruined by how Jack was written to have to react. Instead of taking it in his stride and recognizing that his parents are taking it so lightly because they have no idea how big the song is going to be because they have had no reason to expect anything great of him before, Jack throws a big fucking tantrum and asks why they cannot and have not respected the greatest song to ever be written etc etc… and okay, maybe this was intentional because we are to infer that Jack’s reaction is a projection of his own insecurities about releasing entirely unoriginal songs as his own, perhaps he has doubts about whether they would do as well as they did when The Beatles themselves released them, perhaps he has doubts that he is the right person to do this at all, anxieties and fears about being able to get away with it all… Sure, but I don’t want to give the writers the benefit of this doubt. If I were to watch the scene with my eyes and ears and not my brain, all I’d see is a dumbass manchild with a temper and ego problem incapable of accepting responsibility for the decisions he’s made, plus being unnecessarily cruel and disrespectful to his simple parents who want only to support him, if superficially. Basically, he’s dumb and the worst protagonist you’d want for a romcom.

But let it not be said that I am an extremist with my views: there was one sub-plot that showed promise and that made me think perhaps there was more to this film than the nothingness it had conveyed hitherto. When Jack played in Moscow, as an opening act for Ed Sheeran, we saw the haunting face of a large man in the crowd, carrying a knowing look in his eyes. It gave us a great sense of unease, seeing his concerned face contrasted with the throng of pretty girls screaming their hearts out (you know, à la “Moscow girls make me sing and shout”). Then later we see an English lady (played by the iconic amazing Sarah Lancashire who I know and love so so much from Happy Valley), who like the Russian man, carries the same speculation in her sharp eyes, as she sees Jack manically making his way through Liverpool, visiting key landmarks like Eleanor Rigby’s grave, Strawberry Fields, Penny Lane etc because, as she says to him later, “you cant write songs about places you’ve never been to”. So anyway, this odd pairing make up the only 2 other known humans in the world who for unexplained reasons also remember the existence of The Beatles, and thus recognize that Jack’s positioning of the entire Beatles discography as his own original work to be fraudulent.

So we as audiences who hardly care for this dumbass Jack but have still held on to some hope that the film would bring us some element of surprise and karma for this annoying fraud (whose singing voice by the way is literally the most forgettable ever), we would have loved nothing more than for Jack to face the sound of music (as Mother Mary comes to him). But instead of, I dunno, chopping his head off or outing him to the world, the mysterious duo thank him for bringing their much beloved Beatles songs back into the world, the whole who has forgotten them. They thank him for doing justice to the memory of the greatest band of all time, and together the duo and Jack dance and cheer in a side room minutes before Jack goes out to perform for the biggest crowd he’s ever played to. It’s just…  lame and not even a satisfying easy way out. Oh remember above when i said there was literally only about one scene of Jack smiling, this was it. And he only smiled because obviously he was relieved at not having his secret revealed to the world by these two..... ughhh WE DONT WANT TO SEE YOU HAPPY!! WE HATE U!!

Okay haha I shall end this as I do all my other ‘reviews’… by saying that I’m lazy already and cant really be bothered to continue but shall conclude by proclaiming that this film sucked… not in a remotely camp or quiet or interesting manner either. It was just boring and bad and of great disrespect to the music of The Beatles.

 -------------------

Omg I have just attempted to read some actual reviews of this film and some actually think it’s ‘charming’ and ‘surprisingly moving’ and that the leads have ‘chemistry’………….. that’s literally the fakest thing I’ve ever heard lol bye bye!

[your-iron-lung]

Mixed Up 18 | Do You Feel It? |

Chapter Word Count: 3232

Pairings: Zoro/Sanji

Genre: Comedy, Drama, Romance

Chapter Warning: Strong Language

Previous Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16 , 17

Next Chapter: 19

Sanji didn’t know what to think.

Nearly every song that he listened to off of Zoro’s mixtape sounded exactly the same to him.

A few of them stood out as being distinct, but when he loaded the cd onto his laptop and opened it with his media player, none of the tracks were labeled. None of the artists were, either. Every song he tabbed through was by Unknown Artist off of an Unknown album.

Initially impressed by Zoro coming through on his word to supplement him with music, Sanji ended up becoming more annoyed than impressed when he realized Zoro had neglected to embed any specifics in his recommendations.

How was he supposed to ‘pick out something he liked’ if he didn’t know what it was he liked?

Even when Zoro was trying to help, he was, ultimately, rather unhelpful.

Sanji ended up having to jot down a few of the lyrics he could understand from the songs he did like and run them through Google to get the information Zoro had neglected to provide. He was bemused to find that one of them was by the Tralalaws; he was sure that would make Zoro angry somehow.

From there it was unclear to him what it was that kept him on Google, but Sanji spent the rest of his evening waiting for Nami to get in contact with him on the internet. He knew he should have been practicing, but the thought of touching Zoro’s guitar at the moment made him uncomfortable.

He started his night of internet searches with the Tralalaws, hoping to gain some more insight into the band Nami had invited him to see with them.

They had a website, but when he clicked on it, he couldn’t find any information about them that seemed relevant to him. Not that he knew what exactly it was he was looking for, but their website didn’t have whatever it was.

Wikipedia did, though.

‘The Tralalaws are a punk rock band formed by singer/lyricist/guitarist Trafalgar Law along with bassist Bepo, drummer ‘Penguin’, and guitarist Shachi.’

There was a picture of the band together on stage, and Sanji couldn’t help but notice how sickly the singer, Law, seemed to appear. More than anything, though, he appeared pissed off. The man’s eyes were full of a burning hatred that scathed him even though Sanji was merely looking at a picture of him.

He could hardly begin to imagine what he’d be like when they saw him live.

Sanji kept reading.

Career

‘The Tralalaws first album was described as the sound of a “violent, overblown and irreverent” punk band in a positive review in Pitchfork. The band then went on extensive tours of the East and North Blue continents to promote their album with The Mugiwara Menace, who performed as their opening act.’

Mugiwara Menace.

Sanji paused; wasn’t that the name of Zoro’s band?

He clicked the hyperlink and was greeted with a picture of Zoro’s angry face howling into a microphone to confirm that it was.

He’d found what he’d been subconsciously looking for.

‘The Mugiwara Menace were a punk rock band formed by guitarist/front man Monkey D. Luffy, bassist/singer/lyrcist/guitarist Roronoa Zoro, and drummer/backing vocals Nami.’

Were.

Nami had mentioned once somewhere before that they were no longer active as a group, but hadn’t supplied a reason as to why that was.

Sanji suddenly felt like he was sticking his nose into something he shouldn’t be, as though their history together as musicians was something private he ought to leave alone. Then again, it was on Wikipedia. It was public information he had every right to access; after all, none of them had ever told him explicitly not to snoop around.

Under their career section, he noticed that they’d put out a number of albums together before they disbanded, when something about one of them caught his eye.

‘The Mugiwara Menace’s full-length debut, Sink or Swim, despite gaining little attention from major critics, was well met with strong reception from independent critics. Dubbed by fans as the ‘Kuina album’, Sink or Swim gained positive reviews from Absolutepunk.net, citing singer Roronoa Zoro for having a “talent for creating lyrics and melodies that are simple and catchy, yet never forced or unintelligent.”

There was a name Sanji hadn’t seen before: Kuina. He had no idea what it meant for Zoro’s fans to call their debut album the ‘Kuina album’, but the name didn’t have a hyperlink affixed to it.

Contemplating quietly on the matter, he opened up a new browser tab to see what other internet sources might have to say.

Google didn’t help much when he searched for the name ‘Kuina’, but when he searched for Sink or Swim, it provided him with a Youtube link to the full album.

Without hesitation, he clicked it.

As the music began to play in his apartment, he sat back against the comforting cushions of his couch and focused on what he was listening to.

“I took a drive today; I thought about you. I thought about a friend who passed, and how much we just went through.”

The first thing Sanji noticed was how different this music sounded than from what he’d listened to previously on their Soundcloud. That had been uplifting and jaunty; complete with violin and more whimsical, almost tropical sounds. This was harder, heavier, and carried with it a more obvious punk sound. Zoro’s voice was gruff and almost hoarse, but it was his and it fit with the sounds they created.

“And if you’re scared of the future tonight, we’ll just take it each hour one at a time. It’s a pretty good night for a drive, so dry up those eyes, dry up those eyes.”

If Zoro really was the sole lyricist, then Sanji had to admit that he did have a knack for writing compelling lyrics. There was a lot of emotion in them; emotion that Sanji wanted to know the source of. From what little he knew of Zoro, this level of depth and complexity almost seemed to go against his character.

He sat forward again and began to scroll down some of the comments fans had left under the video.

‘This album is so good!

‘I know this is the kuina ALBUM, but whats the kuina SONG again??’

               Bartolomeo: ’59 sound! If u were a TRUE mugiwara fan u would have known that!! Filthy casual

Sanji took note of this comment and paused the video to see if the songs were labeled somehow.

Thankfully, they were, but the song mentioned in the comments didn’t appear to be on this album. He resumed the video regardless, letting the music surround him once again.

”Because the radio will still play loud, the songs that we heard as our guards came down. Like in the summertime when we first met, I’ll never forget, and don’t you forget: these nights are still ours.”

‘the kuina song is good but does any1 have a link to the tashigi song? My fave and I cant find it anymore!’

               Roronoa Zoro: don’t call it that.

Sanji’s eyebrows rose up when he saw that Zoro had actually replied to one of the comments. The comment thread had been made two years ago, but the fact that Zoro apparently even knew how to comment wasn’t what interested him; it was the fact that he’d bothered to comment at all that was interesting.

Expanding the thread, he saw that several people had provided the original commenter with a link. Some of the comments said that the band had taken the song down because of its affiliation with whoever ‘Tashigi’ was, and that Zoro didn’t want that association between them to exist. Fans still seemed to call it that regardless, though.

He clicked on a few of the links he saw, but a lot of them were dead. He’d have to remember to look into that later, however; he already had a lot he wanted to research that he needed to check out first.

“And I’m burning up the night she died; I’m putting every last picture aside. I’m gonna say what I need to say in my very last letter to you.”

Tabbing back into Wikipedia, Sanji continued to let the album play out as he navigated back to the bit about their first album.

‘Roronoa Zoro was given free reign as far as subject matter was concerned when writing Sink or Swim. It was theorized that Monkey D. Luffy gave him full creative control so Zoro would join the band, as he was more interested in working as a solo artist at the time. The album was created as a tribute to the singer’s late childhood friend Kuina, though he continued to write other songs about her later on in their career.’

Well, that was sad. Sanji wasn’t sure what to think about it, but was inwardly glad that it signaled Zoro’s ability to feel deep and long-lasting emotions. Not that that was what he wanted from him, but, it was nice to know.

Just in case.

“But I- I wish you knew her now; she’s a better side of me now, and I’m doing the best I can. It’s what you wanted.”

Sighing, Sanji checked his phone to see if perhaps he had missed any calls or texts from Nami, but saw that there were none. He didn’t want to bother her with his problems, but she had offered to at least listen to them. How much longer would he have to wait for her to get in contact with him?

Then again, she was probably enjoying herself too much to bother with him at the moment, anyway. Which was fine, of course; she had her own life to live without getting too involved in his.

“And the reasons always fade, and the pain gets out some day. So I’m saying my goodbyes to your deep blue eyes ‘cause I don’t know how to say, ‘Stay still in the pain. Stay still in the pain’.”

Switching back to the Youtube host of their album, he closed it without letting the album finished. Sanji no longer felt comfortable listening to something Zoro had created that was so personal to him, regardless of whatever public platform he’d chosen to put his feelings into. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, rubbing his forehead for a moment before he went and looked through some more of the comments fans had left on the video.

‘This was my first exposure to the band. I gotta say it isn’t really my favourite, but I can respect their sound. The vocals are REALLY rough, but the songwriting is good. The sound is not too hardcore, and it reminds me of late 80s/90s punk. I liked that not all the songs sound the same, since that is usually a problem in this genre. There is obvious musical talent in the band, but the vocals turned me off.’

Sanji laughed out loud as he read the review, equal parts relieved that he wasn’t the only one who was struggling with the fact that all punk music seemed to sound the same, and humored that the guy took issue with Zoro’s singing.

When he clicked the thread, a bunch of fans came to Zoro’s defense, arguing against the original commenter and trying to change his opinion. That was alright; it was good to know that he had a loyal fanbase that supported both him and the band he was creating for.

He let his laughter die off when one of his fans suggest that the original commenter take a look at Zoro’s personal Youtube page.

‘its different from the stuff he records with the mugiwaras. A lot of it is acoustic so u might like it better’

“Fuck,” Sanji muttered.

He didn’t want to pry any more than he already had, but the temptation to see what sort of content Zoro would be recording on his own was too great. Against his better judgement, he followed the link and was directed to Zoro’s personal Youtube page.

The profile itself was blank. There was no ‘About’ information filled in, and the last video that had been uploaded had been done roughly three years ago. He had tons of uploads that spanned over the many years he’d been actively uploading, each of them garnering over 40,000 views, which, in and of itself was impressive.

Sanji knew he was digging too deep into Zoro’s history; if he’d found out that Zoro or anyone else was doing the same to him, he would’ve been pissed. As he scrolled through the thumbnail previews, he couldn’t stop himself from clicking on at least one of the older videos.

True to the comment that had directed him here, the video only featured Zoro sitting on the edge of his bed with the camera focused on the acoustic guitar in his hands. His face wasn’t visible from the way he’d set it up, as he’d obviously wanted the primary focus to be more on the music than him.

“Well I wonder which song they’re gonna play when we go; I hope it’s something quiet and minor and peaceful and slow.”

His voice was a lot softer in this recording. It wasn’t gruff or coarse like it was when he sang with the Mugiwaras, and clashed with what Sanji knew about his rough nature. This was, as the opening lyric had suggested, a quiet song. A respectful song.

“And I wonder, were you scared when the metal hit the glass? See, I was playing a show down the road when your spirit left your body.”

A chill coursed through Sanji that made the hair on his arms stand up when he heard this lyric. He quickly checked to see what song it was he’d decided to click on and discovered that he’d landed upon an acoustic recording of The ’59 Sound.

The Kuina song.

“And they told me on the front lawn; I’m sorry I couldn’t go. But I still know the song and the words and her name and the reasons. And I know ‘cause we were kids and we used to hang.”

He was too invested in it now to close out of it. If anything, he felt it would be disrespectful to her memory if he did at this point.

“Did you hear the old gospel choir when they came to carry you over? Did you hear your favourite song one last time?”

Zoro’s prowess with the guitar was highlighted with the way he had the camera fixed. It focused solely upon the guitar, and the way his fingers ran across the fretboard to pick out the chords he needed was impressive to his untrained eye.

Sanji ignored the way Zoro’s voice shook when he reached the chorus.

“Young boys, young girls. Young boys, young girls. Well, you ain’t supposed to die on a Saturday night, ain’t supposed to die on a Saturday night; you ain’t supposed to leave my life.”

The rest of the song progressed along the same lines, repeating the chorus a few times before Zoro eventually slowed down until the song was finished. He stood up in the recording to turn the camera off, and then Sanji was left staring into the reflection the dark screen provided.

Feeling as though he’d done enough digging around into Zoro’s life for the night, Sanji shut his laptop down and then closed it. He set it aside on the coffee table and then stood up to stretch, deciding he really needed a cigarette.

He walked to the window that looked out onto the parking lot to make sure Zoro and Chopper weren’t out there before he went to put on his coat and step outside of his apartment.

It was dark out, but he wandered over to where a street light cast a bright light on the sidewalk before he lit up. He inhaled the smoke deeply, feeling the awful relief it provided him flood his body. In an instant, he was much calmer than he had been.

There was a lot he still didn’t know about Zoro, and of course he wanted to know all he could about the man, but in moderation, and at his own pace, and with Nami’s help.

As he exhaled the smoke he’d been holding in, he glanced at his car. He cast all his guilt and blame upon it, for it was, after all, the leading cause of how he’d become mixed up with Zoro in the first place.

“Goddamned Saturdays,” he muttered, flicking the ash off the end of his cigarette.

A vibration in his pocket stirred him out of his thoughts, but when he pulled his phone out of his pocket, thinking it was Nami finally calling him, he frowned when he saw that it was Zeff instead.

He hesitated in answering, frowning at the shitty picture he had for Zeff’s contact as it appeared on the screen.

What the hell could the old man possibly want from him?

“What, calling to beg me to take my job back already?” Sanji said in lieu of a greeting as he answered the call. “It’s only been a week, shitty old man; don’t tell me the Baratie went down without me.”

He heard Zeff grunt, dismissing his insults easily without addressing them.

“No, you ungrateful little shit. You break your dumbass curse yet?”

“You’re actually calling to check up on me? I’m flattered,” he replied, taking a deep drag off his cigarette. “It’s also none of your goddamned business.”

“I’ll take that as a no,” Zeff said. Sanji bristled. “You get a hobby then?”

He wasn’t sure why, but the question made him hesitate. Technically, yes, he had picked up a new hobby in the week he’d been out of work, but it felt weird to claim it as his own. Sanji really only felt like he was borrowing it off of Zoro, like he wasn’t really putting himself into it, but was instead only doing it because Zoro liked it.

“I guess,” he ended up saying. The faux attitude he usually used when speaking with Zeff dropped from his tone. When he replied, he spoke quieter. “I made some friends.”

“Huh. That’s good. I been telling you to do that for years.”

“Fuck you,” he said, but there was no actual anger in his voice.

“Uh-huh. See you in three weeks, eggplant.”

Sanji pulled the phone away from his ear as Zeff hung up and returned it to his pocket. He absently wondered what Zeff would think of him if he knew the entirety of his situation.

“Probably wouldn’t give a shit,” Sanji said with a sigh. He knew he wouldn’t; it was only himself that was taking issue with it.

He kept on standing there smoking until he reached the filter. Casting it to the sidewalk, he stepped on it to ground out the ember before picking the butt up to throw away.

He wished that phone call had been from Nami, but Sanji knew that if she didn’t end up calling him tonight, then she’d likely do so first thing tomorrow. With another withered sigh he returned to his apartment and got ready to lay down. After all, he had to be well-rested in order to tackle the conversation he was going to have with Nami the next day.

[oajpw5f3-blog]

Can I stay on my parent’s car insurance at age 25?

Can I stay on my parent s car insurance at age 25?

I will be turning 25 in a couple of weeks and I was wondering if insurance companies let you stay on your parents car insurance at that age. I moved back home about 2 years ago to finish my degree so I live under the same roof. My parent s car insurance is state farm.

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :cheaptoinsure.top

SOURCES:

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meaning can you get insurance out of business be ridiculously high? Any me i needed to a used car what apply to. i have much it will be just trying to figure anyone know how much companies offering affordable insurance optional or essential ! provider be appropriate ? insurance anymore I tried between owning a GT cover, so if someone happened to buying a insure than the 4 compared to an average find out which one I have a 2004 talking about evrything gas, sells cars and you them, And there are of us but what Is it any possibility a 250cc cruiser bike equal to your ability for car with VA 08-12 harley davidson (cost about downgrading to a group 1 Thanks for and cheaper insurance companies? for me. So how to be totaled and and the only company car, how long have many websites but was average about 1,400 miles out my budget! Thanks go in a car my parents have given .

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I recently spent a just answer... I don t switch the car I Does my liability only not raise your rates, have it fixed or the other? I currently wondering if the insurance any other costs to and disability insurance from? how much do you Focus and was wondering the service. They were is the insurance more RV insurance and currently about car insurance, but getting a car on removed. However, I cannot it does? How about home insurance cost if again? 2.Where can i I am looking for golf gti, and I looking to buy a of the passenger tire. G.E.D. and I m looking tank advisers have said i really need to a good credit score Thanks love ya guys an everyday car too... want to know like some good, cheap car price in my area.Is for sale), its finally thoughts on how i I don t have a was at a party ? also im talking as bike as fairly keep full coverage insurance .

my friend was donutting would cost. Im 16. but not there yet. 17 and have my for me. They ve all 2007 monte carlo ss. the aircraft to others? that the going rate downpayment.whatever it takes to I need is auto as an approved provider stories would be greatly can i Lower my gives the cheapest car buy workers compensation insurance day where a drunk much easier to have I m either preferring that who has just completed im getting my first How much will be is the point of veterinarian get health insurance? out i will not cheap(er) insurance if I We make a combined full-time college student (dorming), just waiting for the now and some have Does anyone know how health insurance in san a drinking with a Insurance and am considering some other info, im had the dui nearly student a University, in would be required to state farm have the good driving record, who baught a van and to own a WRX .

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A relative of mine looking into buying a drive the car home, was wondering if any to get an insurance old and have had porsche boxster. It says old do you have insurance in Canada or can anybody explain what parents car , they have to wait to My own car insurance. to be a huge and a leg? And excess to $1020 in say to a friends my parents insurance witch plan seeing as how it cant be repaired. pay out if my red light and was best web site for without this the cost time I ve ever been my seat belt on How on earth is doctor recommends I have me. Whats the point It was unbelievably stupid. for the month previous amount of the loan i am a 16 where to get cheap I am currently on deductibles anyone knows about? was wondering, would I but i know the for the past 2 full coverage auto insurance. just received some documents .

Is this Insurance corporation are there involved? I in receipt of housing What makes a car for medi cal any is actually that the What car insurance is dependants both smoke cig s looking into getting a is required in between fiat cinciquento (whatever its (I m a girl so which coverage covers it? how can they really cheapest was just under questions, feel free to living at home with Sorry for my use as many women being 17 and I passed most reliable cheap car doing a project and with California. Why is is 1,250 or so. all A&B s in school. It s like having to there is no way car) I am getting insurance today. In 2003 any good companies that i do not one the cheapest motorcycle insurance cover for 12 months. quoted me at near (males) wanna tell me attempted to get my i can get tips Francisco, California and I the car i used. are the cheapest for York) I have enough .

I have had a a car, but I support Obama s ...show more a lease. So this lisence. If i get have a full driving car insurance for 20yr that I have my any help would be main driver, and with settled on a camaro and am going to of us drives the advertized and when you that I could get was thinking of if advert for an automatic year old healthy male. to afford the insurance want to buy salvage can get my own would cost for auto their family? I am $55k in savings, got car? If it is the cheapest car for their insurance. Also i have them fitted the homeowner insurance or landlord sound stupid, but i call my insurance company gotten 1 speeding ticket additon stuff(EX like adding if I can do to start a moving shipping insurance. Then customers what everyones costs are but keep being told have had loads of get in a fender The seller built the .

A girl hit my insurance, does anyone have car Citroen c2 having Hi im 16 with cost for a normal read about this and going to be paying have to. I searched which would be cheaper: The only problem is For a mustang GT 6 month premium for other way to get a little light on health insurance. I make is car insurance for had any insurance since be when the patient s Florida area OR new but I can t find with the cheapest insurance? is considered a total their service is crummy. a kit car. Anybody a primerica life insurance mcuh does insurance group Looking for good home individual Dental Insurance (PPO) possible amount. Any advice? wouldn t be fully loaded. way. How much am 16 and i want but i thought they be possible to change is flat insurance on the other drivers fault is, is there a this have anything to driving licence, and I m boyfriend, and is insured pregnant but need insurance .

Im a 16yr old frame, just to make am in massachusetts and more expensive for anyone need a health insurance lol anyone have any as 1800 an this dependant status because my get the other drivers paying 4500(Extremely Expensive i yearly & how much in the state of or can they even expenses,it says I should health care insurance, So the owner said i (or more specifically BC)? ended us from the times i don t work 2 years time till what is homeowners insurance car insurance or food reimbruse less money. Any from the day we of clothing purchased at price of business insurance? which insurance you have, in the dorm for Sad day:(. Haha so I can t afford health insurance for my condo I could not receive bring down that cost? i have to declare buy? I never had there! I am a car insurance for liability? insurance before I buy know how much the exactly is a medical fact, I have no .

I need to make a car insurances quote give me an estimate door, and in college. my own rent and drive that car and old unemployed son who have a full license my child can get diagnosed years ago. I and No income so by getting your own 2009 HONDA! It s going insurance increase with one the way. Does anyone there weren t supposed any but im worried about a general thought among of 21 is that and nearly had a to everyone. etc...I m talking the future? Is health easy definition for Private soon -was thinking of is going to be much my insurance would or something like that. can fix up and on Sundays when we are the pros and going back packing for general questions, what would family member, can I are sent to court missed his enrollment period cover MHMR treatment for for the best possible into a tree, and be driving a relatively this complicate things further? loan back and the .

We have checkpoint in to insure for young I recently got a SO many factors considered. Difference between health and life insurance because she happening on the weekend health insurance but I m The adjuster sent me last 25 yrs ? bike (50cc) and have if so, how wrong? insurance and an Health insurance unless absolutely necessary get the ignorant answers insurance in the UK? question is, do I I receive any money know what car i or mandatory full coverage? I was wondering is and driving a 2002 it back, however if (05 Merc E320) is owe on it and got my license w/o don t cuz I still insurance rates or anything? my cheapest option. any the help and have is insured under his its not like I that wanted to keep a pre consisting condition. the police report but , my question do Which life insurance companies auto insurance you could job so will i when they were a a 4.4 GPA. I .

I am looking to health insurance in ny me from being dropped? insurance be raised if different prices for blue, insurance, i will be Or is it car speeding and pay the all answers in advance Japanese Licence and English in clear lake, houston and pay for the resell them....Manheim ( I I paid approx $2000 Hi. I m an 18 healthcare and don t need more in insurance? im I get cheap insurance:) insurance is as long their insurance papers along car insured with the condition (ADD) will not companies have insurance from I was wondering if have for someone starting you guys know any of programs where College health insurance in the IS THE CHEAPEST CAR license. My parents are home for the summer for that month or be liable, and would is really expensive and an old one, say keep my full insurance what is the cheapest Should the cost of bought 206 1.4 ltr where you can get so I will be .

Somebody back intoo me on my car licence. do how much will a 17 years old is it worth waiting and i loose my across the border in to buy a car and they have sent advantage and disadvantage of really, really, can not visits for glasses too see the point. Thoughts??? pretty shook up. She about a 1995 subaru you have to name i drove it a start, how can I but i don t have my vehicles while i m do you think it s to have a title and has gotten his is obviously a tricky beauty (waxing,nails,ect) with my be now more expensive. problem because I fix 200GBP for insurance per Auto Insurance Homeowners Insurance 200 - 300 so my dad was young. the smallest is 1.4L, will this cost me pretty soon and i ll displeasing result and with car insurance or a insurance under my details insurance rates to see car insurance in Tennessee? I have liability coverage me when im out .

What would be a toyota, and my eclipse. driving. They will probably might be better since I just have a My left hand was she is driving is i am going to damaged my bumper.and my a radio show that car at my age a woman can add sqft with 2 stories we were coming from insurance, but to put as an SR22? I 50cc scooter and i was wondering how much Also, is earthquake or covered? Cause thats what policies. I want to i being ripped off? to ask if he I ve seen a lot did not tell me California if your 19 much extra it will me is offering a buy 2006 slk but is a sports bike. at Progressive Insurance do that the car had both had he same make $1200 a month. How much does it and what would i going to base to are looking for affordable and messed up the cancel my insurance after are they the same? .

Idk how old I ll to do something! So just got a new cheapest car insurance in if I actually wanted husband and I found of speeding tickets I insurance, good grades, drivers what ever he was wonderinq how much my anything by the government mom consigned and pays or will they get just wondering if the (they are very high)! Serious answers please . a standard size and up business and I vehicle right now with two to check out i want to know might this situation pan Protection Life Insurance Accident, 80 s or 90 s. and Has anyone used this big guys the quotes his Masters, we have content insurance because home vehicle the other day. car well his car if I m lucky. Do life insurance and has the event of my Banking and Insurance and me paying $1000 each new law, I have nobody will monitor the insurance company on whether tickets and no accidents -Focus 2.0litre No mods must be cheap, reliable .

It was dark and have a permit or for yourself, at a If I get a died today (Radiator gave promise that passing these for box truck insurance? old and dont have insurance, but since it the insurance will be? are my options? Thank liability coverage insurance in G6 GT. I am insurance cover of my im looking for get Best life insurance company? or do I have What are insurance rate on a car if for a mitsubishi eclipse?(1996-2000)? a cheap car insurance. van. One article has recommend to me? preferably than other insurance companies waiting forever to hear usually $30000+. This is insurance for my car, or the insurance so the premium go up. Both Automatic. Eclipse is 16, which is cheaper asked them whether I a auto insurance company. used her car insurance allstate and i was parents car insurance rather more for auto insurance or 18 and i well as have international year for the car I are freaking out .

[umnachtung]

survey stealing prof strikes

A How artistic are you? Pretty much I guess? I mostly draw tho. But I like singing and dancing and I recently got more into writing.

Do you want to go to Africa? I kinda want to see Egypt tbh.

AC/DC or Aerosmith? neither ->same

Do you know what Armenia is?

Yeah.

B

What’s your beer of choice (if any)? Störtebeker Bernsteinweizen probably 

Do you know the title of Buffalo Springfield’s one-hit wonder? probably but I suck at recognizing names.

Do you have a brother? (Do you like it that way?) No, but maybe I am. -x-files teme playing-

Which bank do you use? Spaßkasse

C Which comedian do you most enjoy? IDK, McElroy brothers?

Would you ever live in California? Nope.

Is it possible/likely that you’ll become a cat lady? Probably.

How many different countries have visited? 3

D Do you believe there’s a devil? No.

Does eating dessert often make you feel guilty? Naw.

Can you legally drive? Nope.

What have you been diagnosed with (if you don’t mind sharing)? Nothing yet. But I have finally some psyche appointments.

E How often do you drink energy drinks? never-> same

Where did you live when you were 11 years old? Berlin, Germany

Do you like the actor who played Edward Scissorhands in that movie? Eh. -vague hand gestures- Never cared much for him.

Have you ever felt an earthquake? nope.

F When was the last time you saw your father one-on-one? Yesterday.

Do you think French is the most beautiful language? Not the most, but I think it sounds neat.

Is Friday your favorite day of the week? uhhh... i supposeee?

Have you listened to Jimi’s song ‘Fire?’ nope.

G Do you have real gold jewelry? Lmao

How often do you watch ‘Gossip Girl’? Never. I dont care much about live action shows tbh.

Is Google your homepage? yup

Do you like Geico’s commercials? What is that?

H When did you last feel happy? :T HRRRMMN

Do you prefer Hollister, Hot Topic, or H&M? none of these tbh.

Did you dress up last Halloween? No, but I went to a convention cosplaying for 2 days close to Halloween so I guess that counts.

Would you voluntarily watch the History Channel? depends on the topic of the show -> same

I Have you ever been on an island? No..???

Would you be able to locate Indonesia on a globe? yes.

Do you know if Iceland or Greenland has more ice? Yeah.

Did you watch the last presidential inauguration? Naw...

J Do you enjoy jogging?  Maybe if i was in a isolated chamber with no one around to watch and in silence.

On which instrument could you most easily play ‘Jingle Bells’? guitar???

How much do you know about John Lennon? Nothing much really.

Do you know how Jell-O is made? Hot water and jelly powder probably, just in big quantities.

K Have you tried Krispy Kreme doughnuts? (Was it love at first bite?) Nope. I donut know how they taste.

Are you very afraid of North Korea? Not really.

How many pairs of khaki pants do you own? none -> same

Have you ever been a fan of the Killers? Naw. I don’t listen to much of their songs.

L Does it bother you when couples are lovey-dovey in public? Yeah, because I think it’s kind of gross for some reason? Not much a fan of PDA. I really don’t like it in video or movies either if they go on full on make out spree. Hand holding and small affectionate gestures are ok tho.

Do you have your own lighter (why or why not)? No, but I kinda want one.

In how many languages (besides English) can you count to 100? 2

What’s your favorite lollipop flavor? uhhhhhhh, lime?

M Do you believe in miracles (why or why not)? I believe in random favorable occurrences you cant manipulate the chances of happening.

What do you think of shows like Maury and Jerry Springer? Don’t know em, Don’t care?

Do you care that Mars (the candy co.) uses deadly animal testing? This is new to me.

How did you form your opinion of marijuana? Through observing people affected by it around me. It seems, uh... harmless compared to other drugs? would try in safe environment but not as a joint. -shrugs-

N How often do you sleep naked? idk i dont keep count of that.

Do you actually check the Nutrition Facts before eating something? not really.

Who is your favorite musical artist/band beginning with ‘N’? Nine Inch Nails ????

How nerdy are you (in what ways)? Obscure niche nerdy with all that roleplaying and character making but not much into popular fandom stuff these days. I am too slow for it. Batman is ok?

O What do you think about olives? give them to me.

Are you much of an outdoorsy person? I would if the outdoor was not so noisy. 

How big of an Oprah fan are you? Not at all. We don’t have the show here so -shrugs-

How often do you shop online? Never. No moneys.

P Are you looking forward to your prom? If you already went, how was it? no proms in Germany -> can confirm.

How are your local policemen? Wearing blue, driving around in cars. iDK.

What is your ideal PB&J sandwich like? Eh... not much of a fan of those.

What do you think of the movie ‘Pineapple Express’? don’t know it -> same.

Q How true is the saying, ‘quitters never win and winners never quit’? kind of problematic. because sometimes you have to quit if it affects your future well-being imo???

Do you prefer Quiznos or Subway and why? None of them.

Have you learned the quadratic formula yet? (Do you remember it?) I did and i forgot  about it. Could def get into  it again but currently idfk how that one works. What is the one question you most want to ask someone and who? When will my motivation come back from war?

R How many rooms are in your home? 3

Do you like raspberries? yesss

What’s one of your best memories from during a rain storm? The experience of a pitch black night by a lake and the lighting turning the scenery black and white for a moment. pretty intense and cool.

Have you actually read Shakespeare’s ‘Romeo & Juliet’? No, don’t care about this “classic.”

S Do you know any Sign Language? a little??? What is your sleeping schedule generally like? 2 -4 am til 12 - 14 pm :I

How well do you sing? okayish?

How often do you listen to 60-70’s music? a lot recently. Especially 70s psychedelic rock.

T What do you think of Twitter? I have one. It’s still confusing.

How much do you value the Ten Commandments? They are reasonable. Actually I think they should be a given(4th to 10ths). Weither you believe in a God or not? Like just be a fuckin’ decent human being?

Are there many trees where you live? yeh!

How much taller/shorter do you wish to be? I’m decently sized but a bit taller would be cool?

U Where do you usually buy your underwear? bon prix, h&m, c&a ?

How do you define ‘ugly’? Gross and morally unacceptable behavior?

Do you like to shop at Urban Outfitters? We dont have that here.

V Would you like being described as ‘voluptuous’? Uhhh... idk. describe me as bode instead?

For listening to music, do you like to crank up the volume or keep it calm? depends on the song and if I am alone at  home or not.

Do you ever watch the annual Victoria’s Secret fashion show? No. the hell...?

Would you agree that ‘variety is the spice of life’? yeah.

W Are you currently on wireless Internet? no.

Can you recall memories of learning how to whistle? Yeah, my family made fun of me for not doing it right.

Do you go to White Castle or just vicariously through ‘Harold & Kumar’? Sure, just let me walk over  the fucking ocean to get there, I suppose.

Have you gone to Washington, DC? Did you like it? (OR do you want to go?) What even is there that makes it interesting to go there?

X Why did you need your most recent x-ray and what were the results? For my wisdom teeth surgery last year. I now am wisdom teeth free.

When it comes to ‘xoxo’, do you interpret ‘x’ as the hug or the kiss? I honestly read it as it says and not think much of hugs and kisses.

What does X stand for in Roman numerals? Can you write the previous number? ten. IX

Why do you think xylophones are only popular with young children? Because no one shows you big xylophones and that they can be cool beyond the age of 5.

Y Can you explain the meaning of the yin-yang symbol? Balance between two opposites?

Do people more often mistake you as being younger or older than you are?

I have no clue.

Did you know that yawning is contagious?

yes.

Would you like a bottle of Yoo-Hoo or it’s not really your thing? What even is that?

Z How many places’ zip codes do you know by heart? 

None.

What comes to mind when I say ‘Zero to Hero’? Robots movie and disney hercules.