#so it's not as if I can hope to get a good grade anyways! And the money prize is only for 110/100 marks so who cares about it going well.
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you were sitting on the bed with different papers and textbooks spread around you, trying hard to solve this equation that you didn't even feel matt entering the room.
he smiled at the sight of you biting your lip a habit you do when focused that only him noticed
from earth to y/n do you copy
you slightly flinched not expecting someone to interrupt your deep thought
sorry didn't notice you're here
are you stuck in this equation? need some help?
nah I'll figure it out
though you were trying to hide the absolute stress you felt, wanting to assure your boyfriend that you're fine. but he saw the way you've been locking yourself in your shared bedroom to cram your lessons, and how you kept unconsciously biting your nails.
cause as you mentioned to him earlier this week your exams are soon and you're scared of not getting good grades, so he wanted to make sure you're relaxed and not stressed.
i got you someone to help you study
you realized that all that time he was hiding something behind his back, so you might've already guessed who that study partner was.
matt pulled his hand out from behind his back to give you his small plushy mr. wrinkelton. so you excitedly took the stuffed dog and hugged it, feeling the weigh lift off your chest.
thank you babe you smiled softly to him.
you can do it baby i trust you his voice low yet comforting.
you felt grateful knowing that as long as he's by your side you'll always be okay no matter what happened. everything will be okay.
a/n:it's my first time posting a fic so hope you like it + english isn't my first language! so sorry it there's any mistakes, anyway love y'all 🤍 (and thank you @strnilolover for helping you are the best 💐)
devider by: @bernardsbendystraws
@shadowthesim 🪄
#matthew sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#matt sturniolo#chris sturniolo#nick sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#mathew sturniolo#nicholas sturniolo#matt sturniolo fluff#sturniolo blurb#fanfic#matt sturniolo x reader#matt girl
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I just want to commend you artists, you writers, you game designers and cosplayers and anyone who does creative stuff out there on finding the courage to create. Many of you out there are plagued with depression, anxiety, lack of confidence, imposter syndrome and so many other worries and doubts about your ability to create. I am one such person, and though I have so many ideas and stories in my head i could explode, I lose confidence in my ideas and skill so rapidly from just holding a pen, basically nothing ever gets put on page. I'll tell myself I'm lucky if I even get a single drawing done in a year, frankly calling myself an artist is more a fraud than anything.
But you people, you creative amazing people manage to overcome that. No matter how good you think your work is or your level of skill, you draw and write and do it anyway, some of you even post it online for people to see, something I'm almost always ashamed about doing in fear of someone I know seeing it (why do u think I'm hiding here on tumblr where none of the much more talented people I know go). I've always admired yet envy you amazing people, who are passionate about art, who sit down and still make stuff after a long day of work because it makes u relax, who see art as joy than something you need to do because it's work, who would draw and create despite all the hardships and doubts and worries the world and yourself have place upon you.
The fact that you're able to get pass all that and get a sketch, a word, an idea down on a page, I think you all are so very incredibly brave. Much braver than me at least. No matter where you are on your creative journey right now, keep doing what you're doing and create. It is those that keep going that make it to success in the end. I unfortunately will not be one those people, but I hope that I can keep cheering others on instead.
#art#artists#honestly its late and i might delete this in the morning#i just wanna get this out of my head so i can sleep#artists on tumblr#i feel like if i ever get drunk this is what my rambles would be like#idk cos i dont drink#but i hope ill be an encouraging drunk more than a sad drunk#right now with half my brain begging me to sleep i feel like both#keep drawing guys#thats the long and short of it#i came out of art school learning that i could never be an artist#not because of skills or anything its bcos i just have no drive to create like others#no matter how well i did in school it was always just to get a good grade#that when i left school there were no more assignments and i never could draw like i did in school again#it was then that i realise i could draw if i had to but i could never truly be an artist who draws bcos they want to#its just something i accepted and i need to learn to move on from#anyways night rambles#im gonna delete this later#im like that snowman in Undertale#i wont be able to go where you all go but i hope youll take a piece of me with you through all your art#anyways drink lots of water stayin school fuck AI and im gonna pass out#artist on tumblr
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Guess the fuck who started their morning with a panic attack
#i call it a level 8 based on my experience#could've been worse#my dog was in pain so I panicked about tgat#she's at the vet now and i know its in good hands but i'm still anxious#she's my whole reason to live so I just hope she gets better#i'm lonely now :(#but i'm doing better too just crying a bit but I guess that's understandable#they think she had a back injury and now I'm just standing here thinking of a whole plan to get ramps on every single furniture#anyway one hell of a way to start your thursday#🥨🪶#out the window with my plans of making the school homework today#i don't care about them at all when she's far away and i'm worried as all hell#grades be fucked I can re-do a semester but not re-do my time with her#oh well thought I'd tell yall so I don't go crazy all on my own here
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🫠
#suddenly getting a c feels so terrible#like failing an exam once used to#i used to be happy about such grades once now it just feels like failure#i guess i can never go back to that#wow way to ruin my day#and i'm aware its dramatic and there are worse things and many would be happy to pass#old me wouldn't relate#but on the other hand i want to strive for the best grades#i just truly wish that i can go this whole semester without getting a c 🥺 for once ok maybe one is acceptable but not 2 or 3 c's#i only want b's and a lot of a's 🥺#also this made me realize this is absolutely not! the field of study i want to write my bachelor thesis in#i always write the worst papers in this area of my studies 😭#the 3rd c i got on a paper in this area well at least for one i got a b overall because of my otherwise good contributions#but it's just not my thing idk what it is my papers might just lack depth i still need to look at the feedback tho even though i don't wann#anyways i have to study for an exam tomorrow i need it to go well i don't want to be disapointed#at least it only counts 40% and we have another exam to do better on in case it doesn't go as planned#but i really hope for an a or at least a b to not put me in a bad position for the 2nd exam 🤞🤞#at the end of the day i should remind myself that i'm lucky to be in a position where that i get to worry about such tiny things#instead of real problems
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when will this bloody exam be over with I want to go to uni already!! Good Lord
#[.txt]#looking over at my history course. At the monastery I'll be hosted in. At the medieval city I'll be moving to. Can it be september already.#I cannot emphasize enough how much i don't care about my final grade for this exam. 20% of it is math and my teacher was terrible#so it's not as if I can hope to get a good grade anyways! And the money prize is only for 110/100 marks so who cares about it going well.#I just want it gone and passed with a 60. Please. It's a useless exam in any case.#literally it was just made so private schools could give out the same qualifications and there has GOT to be a better way to do that.#OR. Or just have an exam at the end of each year. Why only on the last. man#tomorrow I have the essay (20%) and the day after math (another 20%) and my final interview for another 20% is on the fifth of July#and I already have a full 37/100 credits so I just need 23 points. Which between the essay and the interview I'm sure to get. let me outttt
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I love kipperlilly in that she’s a rancid little bastard asshole and I like seeing her do weird fucked up shit because it’s INTERESTING
#kiri rambles#like YEAH she clearly had some mental issues going on but like.#she was also just a Fucking Asshole. you can be mentally ill and still be a fucking asshole independently of that#like she. tried to end the world. it’s heavily implied that she KNEW what she was getting into with Porter and SOUGHT HIM OUT. and then-#-decided to bring her friends down that path with her ultimately ending in their murders. and one refusing to be brought back like that#like yeah it was fucked up and there was definitely some manipulation happening there but she was NOT totally helpless there. there was at-#-least SOME level of intentionality in her case#and THATS why I think she’s so interesting!! I REALLY wanna know exactly what makes her tick like that!!#like girl you willingly lead all your friends to their deaths because you wanted better grades than some kids who didn’t even know you!!#that’s fucked girl!!!#anyways I wrote this because I don’t understand all the people who say Kipperlilly should have been resurrected with the other rat grinders-#-and redeemed immediately like they were. like! NO!! she was a fucking asshole and had at least a major hand in murdering her friends and-#-tried to end the world!!! being mentally ill doesn’t excuse you from that even if it helps contextualize it!#anyways I hope she comes back as a little Devil next season and she’s still a little fucking asshole. maybe she can have a longer-#-redemption over the course of senior year kinda like Aelwyn. honestly hanging out with Aelwyn might do her some good ngl#but my point is if she WERE to get redeemed it would take more than a cutscene y’know? like that’s a whole ARC right there#anyways. I think I’m done#kipperlilly copperkettle#fhjy#d20 fhjy#dimension 20 fhjy#Kipperlilly fhjy#dimension 20 fantasy high#fantasy high#fantasy high junior year#dimension 20#d20#d20 fantasy high
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i currently have 46 requests in my inbox , so i'm unfortunately closing my requests for now !! i'll be opening them again once i have the numbers culled down to 30 !!
#mod laios (★)#iyw u guys can still technically send me requests?? it just has to be thru dms#if u want it to be anonymous just tell me so like 'hey can i request this blablablah pls dont tag me i want to be anonymous'#sry TT it's the only compromise i can think of that wont clog up my pre-existing requests#anyways hi guys TT i've missed you all sm i hope im still ur favorite userbox blog /silly#i've been really really swamped with school work and blablabla mental health all that shmuck#but yes i'll be chipping away at this here and there#good news is that ive been getting really good grades lately#bad news is that getting good grades stop me from doing userboxes#i never win [head in hands] /silly
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yet again, i have put off all my homework for the last day. i feel like this week i deserve a little more forgiveness for it, though.
reasons aside, the result is the same. im locking in for an extended study session. here's hoping this one doesn't go as badly as last week's did.
#speculation nation#i did manage to finish most of my work last week. but it was still incredibly unpleasant.#and my mood today is... hm.#idk. ive put on some psychedelic rock and we are going to hope that can get me to chill out enough to focus on this damn homework.#i have my psychological testing in a few weeks and they mentioned that bringing in my transcript will likely help them#so they can see my grades that wildly oscillate between good and bad depending on the semester and how the adhd treats me#im just gonna hope it's enough.#im actually feeling rather bad lol but im locking in anyways. im here to learn for the next 9 or so hours. lol
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roblox death noise
#vigo's pancreatitis is better now btw#he's bounced back really well and i cannot overstate my relief#but the entire ordeal and vet bill broke me#*i* haven't bounced back from it#like i've already been shouldering a lot and that made me snap lmfao#so i've just been like moseying along day to day waiting for the evening so i can go back to sleep#talking takes too much energy. so does just. yk. emoting like an average ass person lmao#i feel like terrible company. idk#cant draw cant write cant exercise can barely walk my dog#and i hate it b/c it feels like i'm fishing for excuses#ive had therapists tell me i'm very self-aware and i dont mean that in a 'i got a good grade in therapy' type of way LMAO#but in the 'if i know then i know then why am i here spinning my wheels and boohooing' type of way#like despite my own bad habits i wanna consider myself a person who has at least some hope and ambition#but i've just been super like done. lmaoo#but lately i just cant. i cannot envision a future for myself. not w/ the way things are.#these are things that *should* be independent of me but aren't. so i get roped into taking care of things.#over and over and over and over again. for over 10 years LMFAO#anyway i'm just vaguely whining no advice is being requested ty : )#xangoeswah
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...
#sorry i cant shut the fuck up today. i think i just feel worse on the weekends bc i kno i shoulf b relaxing#ppl r telling me to relax. take a break. let me kno how i can help. let me kno if theres a problem. bc my behavior is apparently ya kno like#visibly somethings not right. but how tf am i supposed to relax when i have so much to do#so im stuck spiraling like dont work but also think insistently abt working. but get nothing done. its horrible#mostly rn im stressed abt all the grading i havent done and the work on my masters data i havent done#but its like. something in my head is on fire and it's burning thru all my cognitive energy. i am just trying to keep existing#how tf am i supposed to find the energy to read 45 lab reports? im like illiterate#and idk i just feel bad about coming into a new lab being so sick. i just dont like being a problem#it also does not reflect well on my future career that im being such a flake on things. like sorry if i have to work on my research#assistant data rn i might die ✌️ ugh. itll b fine. i just need to find a way to effectively manage my head#and i keep hearing my dads voice in my head talking abt personal responsibility but like i dont even kno how to employ that. i could suck#it up and double down on productivity but that way leads to burnout and self destruction. do i doubke down on relaxing?#i dont kno how to do that. like u would probably just have to drug me. which is y i do not partake in substances. that way also leads#to self destruction. so what am i do to? cross my fingers and pray for a fluctuation in my general mood?#hope that aliens invade and that an incoming invasion sharpens my focus onto only one single thing?#idk. but my sister is finally working on the fish i askrd her yo draw me. so i gotta think of how i wanna get it tattooed#bc shes not an art person and its an act of indulging chaos to get an imperfect image tattooed onto me#so i might have to do some things to make it make me not insane. i asked for this bc i like causing myself problems. also i was in a#slightly altered state of mind when i asked lol but i stand by it haha. anyway. idk things r just annoying and hard rn as i knew they would#b. and im good at catching myself before things get dangerous but it sucks that i feel like a ticking time bomb of destruction. ugh.#unrelated
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Hi 👉👈 I don’t have a lot to say, I just wanted to hi give you from across the room because I followed you for P3 but it turns out you and I share a ton of fandoms and I just think that’s really super neat.
You get a good grade in fandom taste 💖
WAVES HI!! thank you for the follow and message, it makes me happy to hear that you've enjoyed seeing the other media i've reblogged stuff of! P3 is definitely something i hold close to my heart, but i have lots of media i'm full of love for too! so thank you for appreciating it, i hope you enjoy your stay! 🥺💙
#lizzy askbox#GIVES U A HANDSHAKE ACROSS THE DSITANCE!!!#also sorry but i giggled a little when i read 'a good grade in fandom taste' bc it made me think of that post thats like#“im gonna get a good grade in (blank) something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve”#ok but serious though!! i too.. am very thrilled whenever i see ppl that share interests i think it is so cool how ppl on earth-#sometimes end up having the same inch rests!!!#side note but i hope everyone enjoys the intermittent sylvain posting he comes by to my brain every other month to say hi LMAOOO#and also the SPLATOONS!! i dont rb much splat like ever cause unfortunately i cant open the tags to find art of my ocs but like#I LOVE WHEN PPL SHARE INTERESTS!!! YIPPEE!!!#also giving this time to shoutout xenoblade (esp 1) + pokemon + 3ds fire emblem + loz + a whole bunch of other things that i like#u can find them on my tags list in my bio!! if any of u also want to see other swag fanarts!!#i want to look at p3 fanwork tags again but IM STILL NOT DONE WITH RELOAD 😭#<- guy who's stuck in tartarus rn and taking their chances just by existing online on the internet (TY everyone for being courteous ilysm)#anyway have a nice day!! thank you again for the ask!!! yippee!! 🙌🙌🙌
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its 10pm, my project is due in 14 hours, im at around 800 words out of 2k, and im abt to power through an all-nighter with a gallon cups of tea bc adrenaline is high and sleep is fucked like usual <33
#sophie’s idle chatter#SAVE ME FROM THIS HELL#THIS IS NOT WORTH 20% OF MY GRADE GNSDFM#WAILS IN PICKING ENG LANG 😭😭#anyway hello new followers and happy 3.8k??? 🤩#but also i now have my jing yuan fic in the works OFFICIALLY so thats fun and i love him a lot#ALSO LIVESTREAM TMRW???? RIGHT BEFORE MY PROJECTS DUE????? BAIZHU????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????#i will be crying for the next two weeks bc im on easter break after tmrw and can afford it ahah 🫶🫶#anywho thats it for the life update bc i need to get back to this and just. finish it. so that i can never think abt it again.#will i come back tmrw?? will i just pass out when i get back home and wake up saturday morning???#the latter is more likely than u think :'D#but yes hehehahahoho live laugh love i hope ur all doing much better than i am and this is me wishing u all a good night 🥹🫶🫶#(bUT BAIZHU SOON BAIZHU REAL SCREECH)
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#had one of those days that was just fawking awful for no reason like just felt like garbage the entire day#looked at the syllabus and workload for the online class i start tuesday and#it is soooososososo much work. and i'm already kinda behind on work at my FULL TIME JOB so i'm like. there's no way in hell#i can get a decent grade in this class and keep my job at the same time while not wanting to die#it's an eight week class so there are like six assignments due per week and the due dates are on weekdays so it'll be so hard#to use my usual 'finish the assignment the day before it's due' strat#so i just told my parents i was like idk if i can do this y'all. and they were both okay w me potentially dropping it#so long as i take 16 week classes from here on out#so it's going to take me two extra years to graduate after it's already taken me four for a TWO YEARS ASSOCIATES DEGREE#that's on the physical and mental health issues.#but the good news is. if i do drop this class and have a break this semester then aslkfdlskdg#hyunjin birthday countdown: back on! winnable!#i'm working on the most complicated set of the countdown now hoping it doesn't make me too exhausted for the others asjflasjldg#still a bit less than halfway done#anyways. time to go to bed so i can wake up and try to function at work tomorrow#carly.txt
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My brother needs to go to therapy. He has got huge family problems. His childhood was messed up.
#i really hope he gets enough amount of sleep everyday now#he doesn't reply/engage in conversations.. don't speak much.. kind of a silent person.. but there has been times when he was all too good#with talking to someone#Does early twenties really make you feel so much? I hope and i know and i know he will get better#so many harsh things have happened to bhaiya.. i would have never tolerated it all#i would be slamming each's face#so let me write this in my tumblr's diary#his underpants were filled with stones and his shirt was ripped when he was in 4th grade by his own sisters(cousins)#They had the “privileges” .. noone in family could speak against them cuz guess what their mother was a survival and a truly good person#So nothing was said to their kids#Anyways now we're good.. have many fun memories#Another time when he was in hostel in 6th grade some bad kids came in the bathroom camein bath#room & put bucket on his head and hit him hard#Horrible experiences#One time he was slapped by papa when papa and mummy was having a fight#And let me tell ya my father's palms are very big.. can be comforting but when applied with force one can break#I really hope everything gets better.. i'll try hard... Didn't expected april to be such a havoc-ing month#Please be kind 2023 to everyone#take the road less traveled by*
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oh I love feeling somewhat hopeful and excited about academia again :( I just have to get through this hellish year and then next year should be so much better. KNOCK ON WOOD.
#tbh my term is basically over i just have to write fourish essays and then do an exam#but it's so hard to get the motivation to do them i just feel so far behind after Everything that went down#and I'm sleeping ok now (KNOCK. ON. FUCKING. WOOD. ) but what happened with it fully did wreck me#and i went from actually being pretty ahead of everything i had to do to being way behinf#**behind#and btw i asked for an extension and she was like yeah I'll check and get back to you. and then never responded#and it doesn't even go toward our grade. so that essay isn't getting fucking written lol#especially when i have one due worth 80% like be serious...#<- it's worse too because the 20% assignment was due in. you'll never guess when. february. so you can guess how that went#oh and i STILL haven't gotten my shitty february essay back from that professor i emailed either!!! girl HELLO#anyway. hope u enjoyed that tour to my terrible academic life#the thing is. and i don't know if this is worse. when i actually do do the work even when it's last minute etc i do well#like if i just crack down for a day i can get a first in whatever essay. but lately i just can't do it. because of the illnesses.#but it's fiiiiine i have a month and I'll write them and they'll be good and it'll be fine. knock on wood. 😐#**YEAR. not term. my term IS over. and then i have my third one next month. I'm sure you don't care about this#but i like accuracy.
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Guuuuys, I sent my application for my exchange semester!!! No idea if I'll do it, but I still kinda hope to get accepted, so I'm nervous now ahahaha
#i finished my letter of motivation last night#and i copied some parts from the one I had to write for my other exchange semester for dublin#and I actually don't hate what I wrote that much anymore#like i think my arguments are okay and i really hope they accept my transcript of records for my bachelors#because i have currently still a pretty good grade (because i havent written the thesis yet and once I've done this#my grade will plummet to the pits of hell because my prof will roast me so much I'll consider dropping out of uni lol)#but i still think it's unlikely to get into my 1st choice university#but oh well#a girl can dream#('girl (genderneutral)')#anyway#i can finally focus on work now#i am 80 hours behind lmao (help)#so i gotta get going#shut up amy
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