#so it's not as if I can hope to get a good grade anyways! And the money prize is only for 110/100 marks so who cares about it going well.
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I just want to commend you artists, you writers, you game designers and cosplayers and anyone who does creative stuff out there on finding the courage to create. Many of you out there are plagued with depression, anxiety, lack of confidence, imposter syndrome and so many other worries and doubts about your ability to create. I am one such person, and though I have so many ideas and stories in my head i could explode, I lose confidence in my ideas and skill so rapidly from just holding a pen, basically nothing ever gets put on page. I'll tell myself I'm lucky if I even get a single drawing done in a year, frankly calling myself an artist is more a fraud than anything.
But you people, you creative amazing people manage to overcome that. No matter how good you think your work is or your level of skill, you draw and write and do it anyway, some of you even post it online for people to see, something I'm almost always ashamed about doing in fear of someone I know seeing it (why do u think I'm hiding here on tumblr where none of the much more talented people I know go). I've always admired yet envy you amazing people, who are passionate about art, who sit down and still make stuff after a long day of work because it makes u relax, who see art as joy than something you need to do because it's work, who would draw and create despite all the hardships and doubts and worries the world and yourself have place upon you.
The fact that you're able to get pass all that and get a sketch, a word, an idea down on a page, I think you all are so very incredibly brave. Much braver than me at least. No matter where you are on your creative journey right now, keep doing what you're doing and create. It is those that keep going that make it to success in the end. I unfortunately will not be one those people, but I hope that I can keep cheering others on instead.
#art#artists#honestly its late and i might delete this in the morning#i just wanna get this out of my head so i can sleep#artists on tumblr#i feel like if i ever get drunk this is what my rambles would be like#idk cos i dont drink#but i hope ill be an encouraging drunk more than a sad drunk#right now with half my brain begging me to sleep i feel like both#keep drawing guys#thats the long and short of it#i came out of art school learning that i could never be an artist#not because of skills or anything its bcos i just have no drive to create like others#no matter how well i did in school it was always just to get a good grade#that when i left school there were no more assignments and i never could draw like i did in school again#it was then that i realise i could draw if i had to but i could never truly be an artist who draws bcos they want to#its just something i accepted and i need to learn to move on from#anyways night rambles#im gonna delete this later#im like that snowman in Undertale#i wont be able to go where you all go but i hope youll take a piece of me with you through all your art#anyways drink lots of water stayin school fuck AI and im gonna pass out#artist on tumblr
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Guess the fuck who started their morning with a panic attack
#i call it a level 8 based on my experience#could've been worse#my dog was in pain so I panicked about tgat#she's at the vet now and i know its in good hands but i'm still anxious#she's my whole reason to live so I just hope she gets better#i'm lonely now :(#but i'm doing better too just crying a bit but I guess that's understandable#they think she had a back injury and now I'm just standing here thinking of a whole plan to get ramps on every single furniture#anyway one hell of a way to start your thursday#đ„šđȘ¶#out the window with my plans of making the school homework today#i don't care about them at all when she's far away and i'm worried as all hell#grades be fucked I can re-do a semester but not re-do my time with her#oh well thought I'd tell yall so I don't go crazy all on my own here
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when will this bloody exam be over with I want to go to uni already!! Good Lord
#[.txt]#looking over at my history course. At the monastery I'll be hosted in. At the medieval city I'll be moving to. Can it be september already.#I cannot emphasize enough how much i don't care about my final grade for this exam. 20% of it is math and my teacher was terrible#so it's not as if I can hope to get a good grade anyways! And the money prize is only for 110/100 marks so who cares about it going well.#I just want it gone and passed with a 60. Please. It's a useless exam in any case.#literally it was just made so private schools could give out the same qualifications and there has GOT to be a better way to do that.#OR. Or just have an exam at the end of each year. Why only on the last. man#tomorrow I have the essay (20%) and the day after math (another 20%) and my final interview for another 20% is on the fifth of July#and I already have a full 37/100 credits so I just need 23 points. Which between the essay and the interview I'm sure to get. let me outttt
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I love kipperlilly in that sheâs a rancid little bastard asshole and I like seeing her do weird fucked up shit because itâs INTERESTING
#kiri rambles#like YEAH she clearly had some mental issues going on but like.#she was also just a Fucking Asshole. you can be mentally ill and still be a fucking asshole independently of that#like she. tried to end the world. itâs heavily implied that she KNEW what she was getting into with Porter and SOUGHT HIM OUT. and then-#-decided to bring her friends down that path with her ultimately ending in their murders. and one refusing to be brought back like that#like yeah it was fucked up and there was definitely some manipulation happening there but she was NOT totally helpless there. there was at-#-least SOME level of intentionality in her case#and THATS why I think sheâs so interesting!! I REALLY wanna know exactly what makes her tick like that!!#like girl you willingly lead all your friends to their deaths because you wanted better grades than some kids who didnât even know you!!#thatâs fucked girl!!!#anyways I wrote this because I donât understand all the people who say Kipperlilly should have been resurrected with the other rat grinders-#-and redeemed immediately like they were. like! NO!! she was a fucking asshole and had at least a major hand in murdering her friends and-#-tried to end the world!!! being mentally ill doesnât excuse you from that even if it helps contextualize it!#anyways I hope she comes back as a little Devil next season and sheâs still a little fucking asshole. maybe she can have a longer-#-redemption over the course of senior year kinda like Aelwyn. honestly hanging out with Aelwyn might do her some good ngl#but my point is if she WERE to get redeemed it would take more than a cutscene yâknow? like thatâs a whole ARC right there#anyways. I think Iâm done#kipperlilly copperkettle#fhjy#d20 fhjy#dimension 20 fhjy#Kipperlilly fhjy#dimension 20 fantasy high#fantasy high#fantasy high junior year#dimension 20#d20#d20 fantasy high
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i currently have 46 requests in my inbox , so i'm unfortunately closing my requests for now !! i'll be opening them again once i have the numbers culled down to 30 !!
#mod laios (â
)#iyw u guys can still technically send me requests?? it just has to be thru dms#if u want it to be anonymous just tell me so like 'hey can i request this blablablah pls dont tag me i want to be anonymous'#sry TT it's the only compromise i can think of that wont clog up my pre-existing requests#anyways hi guys TT i've missed you all sm i hope im still ur favorite userbox blog /silly#i've been really really swamped with school work and blablabla mental health all that shmuck#but yes i'll be chipping away at this here and there#good news is that ive been getting really good grades lately#bad news is that getting good grades stop me from doing userboxes#i never win [head in hands] /silly
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yet again, i have put off all my homework for the last day. i feel like this week i deserve a little more forgiveness for it, though.
reasons aside, the result is the same. im locking in for an extended study session. here's hoping this one doesn't go as badly as last week's did.
#speculation nation#i did manage to finish most of my work last week. but it was still incredibly unpleasant.#and my mood today is... hm.#idk. ive put on some psychedelic rock and we are going to hope that can get me to chill out enough to focus on this damn homework.#i have my psychological testing in a few weeks and they mentioned that bringing in my transcript will likely help them#so they can see my grades that wildly oscillate between good and bad depending on the semester and how the adhd treats me#im just gonna hope it's enough.#im actually feeling rather bad lol but im locking in anyways. im here to learn for the next 9 or so hours. lol
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roblox death noise
#vigo's pancreatitis is better now btw#he's bounced back really well and i cannot overstate my relief#but the entire ordeal and vet bill broke me#*i* haven't bounced back from it#like i've already been shouldering a lot and that made me snap lmfao#so i've just been like moseying along day to day waiting for the evening so i can go back to sleep#talking takes too much energy. so does just. yk. emoting like an average ass person lmao#i feel like terrible company. idk#cant draw cant write cant exercise can barely walk my dog#and i hate it b/c it feels like i'm fishing for excuses#ive had therapists tell me i'm very self-aware and i dont mean that in a 'i got a good grade in therapy' type of way LMAO#but in the 'if i know then i know then why am i here spinning my wheels and boohooing' type of way#like despite my own bad habits i wanna consider myself a person who has at least some hope and ambition#but i've just been super like done. lmaoo#but lately i just cant. i cannot envision a future for myself. not w/ the way things are.#these are things that *should* be independent of me but aren't. so i get roped into taking care of things.#over and over and over and over again. for over 10 years LMFAO#anyway i'm just vaguely whining no advice is being requested ty : )#xangoeswah
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...
#sorry i cant shut the fuck up today. i think i just feel worse on the weekends bc i kno i shoulf b relaxing#ppl r telling me to relax. take a break. let me kno how i can help. let me kno if theres a problem. bc my behavior is apparently ya kno like#visibly somethings not right. but how tf am i supposed to relax when i have so much to do#so im stuck spiraling like dont work but also think insistently abt working. but get nothing done. its horrible#mostly rn im stressed abt all the grading i havent done and the work on my masters data i havent done#but its like. something in my head is on fire and it's burning thru all my cognitive energy. i am just trying to keep existing#how tf am i supposed to find the energy to read 45 lab reports? im like illiterate#and idk i just feel bad about coming into a new lab being so sick. i just dont like being a problem#it also does not reflect well on my future career that im being such a flake on things. like sorry if i have to work on my research#assistant data rn i might die âïž ugh. itll b fine. i just need to find a way to effectively manage my head#and i keep hearing my dads voice in my head talking abt personal responsibility but like i dont even kno how to employ that. i could suck#it up and double down on productivity but that way leads to burnout and self destruction. do i doubke down on relaxing?#i dont kno how to do that. like u would probably just have to drug me. which is y i do not partake in substances. that way also leads#to self destruction. so what am i do to? cross my fingers and pray for a fluctuation in my general mood?#hope that aliens invade and that an incoming invasion sharpens my focus onto only one single thing?#idk. but my sister is finally working on the fish i askrd her yo draw me. so i gotta think of how i wanna get it tattooed#bc shes not an art person and its an act of indulging chaos to get an imperfect image tattooed onto me#so i might have to do some things to make it make me not insane. i asked for this bc i like causing myself problems. also i was in a#slightly altered state of mind when i asked lol but i stand by it haha. anyway. idk things r just annoying and hard rn as i knew they would#b. and im good at catching myself before things get dangerous but it sucks that i feel like a ticking time bomb of destruction. ugh.#unrelated
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Hi đđ I donât have a lot to say, I just wanted to hi give you from across the room because I followed you for P3 but it turns out you and I share a ton of fandoms and I just think thatâs really super neat.
You get a good grade in fandom taste đ
WAVES HI!! thank you for the follow and message, it makes me happy to hear that you've enjoyed seeing the other media i've reblogged stuff of! P3 is definitely something i hold close to my heart, but i have lots of media i'm full of love for too! so thank you for appreciating it, i hope you enjoy your stay! đ„șđ
#lizzy askbox#GIVES U A HANDSHAKE ACROSS THE DSITANCE!!!#also sorry but i giggled a little when i read 'a good grade in fandom taste' bc it made me think of that post thats like#âim gonna get a good grade in (blank) something that is both normal to want and possible to achieveâ#ok but serious though!! i too.. am very thrilled whenever i see ppl that share interests i think it is so cool how ppl on earth-#sometimes end up having the same inch rests!!!#side note but i hope everyone enjoys the intermittent sylvain posting he comes by to my brain every other month to say hi LMAOOO#and also the SPLATOONS!! i dont rb much splat like ever cause unfortunately i cant open the tags to find art of my ocs but like#I LOVE WHEN PPL SHARE INTERESTS!!! YIPPEE!!!#also giving this time to shoutout xenoblade (esp 1) + pokemon + 3ds fire emblem + loz + a whole bunch of other things that i like#u can find them on my tags list in my bio!! if any of u also want to see other swag fanarts!!#i want to look at p3 fanwork tags again but IM STILL NOT DONE WITH RELOAD đ#<- guy who's stuck in tartarus rn and taking their chances just by existing online on the internet (TY everyone for being courteous ilysm)#anyway have a nice day!! thank you again for the ask!!! yippee!! đđđ
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its 10pm, my project is due in 14 hours, im at around 800 words out of 2k, and im abt to power through an all-nighter with a gallon cups of tea bc adrenaline is high and sleep is fucked like usual <33
#sophieâs idle chatter#SAVE ME FROM THIS HELL#THIS IS NOT WORTH 20% OF MY GRADE GNSDFM#WAILS IN PICKING ENG LANG đđ#anyway hello new followers and happy 3.8k??? đ€©#but also i now have my jing yuan fic in the works OFFICIALLY so thats fun and i love him a lot#ALSO LIVESTREAM TMRW???? RIGHT BEFORE MY PROJECTS DUE????? BAIZHU????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????#i will be crying for the next two weeks bc im on easter break after tmrw and can afford it ahah đ«¶đ«¶#anywho thats it for the life update bc i need to get back to this and just. finish it. so that i can never think abt it again.#will i come back tmrw?? will i just pass out when i get back home and wake up saturday morning???#the latter is more likely than u think :'D#but yes hehehahahoho live laugh love i hope ur all doing much better than i am and this is me wishing u all a good night đ„čđ«¶đ«¶#(bUT BAIZHU SOON BAIZHU REAL SCREECH)
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#had one of those days that was just fawking awful for no reason like just felt like garbage the entire day#looked at the syllabus and workload for the online class i start tuesday and#it is soooososososo much work. and i'm already kinda behind on work at my FULL TIME JOB so i'm like. there's no way in hell#i can get a decent grade in this class and keep my job at the same time while not wanting to die#it's an eight week class so there are like six assignments due per week and the due dates are on weekdays so it'll be so hard#to use my usual 'finish the assignment the day before it's due' strat#so i just told my parents i was like idk if i can do this y'all. and they were both okay w me potentially dropping it#so long as i take 16 week classes from here on out#so it's going to take me two extra years to graduate after it's already taken me four for a TWO YEARS ASSOCIATES DEGREE#that's on the physical and mental health issues.#but the good news is. if i do drop this class and have a break this semester then aslkfdlskdg#hyunjin birthday countdown: back on! winnable!#i'm working on the most complicated set of the countdown now hoping it doesn't make me too exhausted for the others asjflasjldg#still a bit less than halfway done#anyways. time to go to bed so i can wake up and try to function at work tomorrow#carly.txt
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My brother needs to go to therapy. He has got huge family problems. His childhood was messed up.
#i really hope he gets enough amount of sleep everyday now#he doesn't reply/engage in conversations.. don't speak much.. kind of a silent person.. but there has been times when he was all too good#with talking to someone#Does early twenties really make you feel so much? I hope and i know and i know he will get better#so many harsh things have happened to bhaiya.. i would have never tolerated it all#i would be slamming each's face#so let me write this in my tumblr's diary#his underpants were filled with stones and his shirt was ripped when he was in 4th grade by his own sisters(cousins)#They had the âprivilegesâ .. noone in family could speak against them cuz guess what their mother was a survival and a truly good person#So nothing was said to their kids#Anyways now we're good.. have many fun memories#Another time when he was in hostel in 6th grade some bad kids came in the bathroom camein bath#room & put bucket on his head and hit him hard#Horrible experiences#One time he was slapped by papa when papa and mummy was having a fight#And let me tell ya my father's palms are very big.. can be comforting but when applied with force one can break#I really hope everything gets better.. i'll try hard... Didn't expected april to be such a havoc-ing month#Please be kind 2023 to everyone#take the road less traveled by*
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oh I love feeling somewhat hopeful and excited about academia again :( I just have to get through this hellish year and then next year should be so much better. KNOCK ON WOOD.
#tbh my term is basically over i just have to write fourish essays and then do an exam#but it's so hard to get the motivation to do them i just feel so far behind after Everything that went down#and I'm sleeping ok now (KNOCK. ON. FUCKING. WOOD. ) but what happened with it fully did wreck me#and i went from actually being pretty ahead of everything i had to do to being way behinf#**behind#and btw i asked for an extension and she was like yeah I'll check and get back to you. and then never responded#and it doesn't even go toward our grade. so that essay isn't getting fucking written lol#especially when i have one due worth 80% like be serious...#<- it's worse too because the 20% assignment was due in. you'll never guess when. february. so you can guess how that went#oh and i STILL haven't gotten my shitty february essay back from that professor i emailed either!!! girl HELLO#anyway. hope u enjoyed that tour to my terrible academic life#the thing is. and i don't know if this is worse. when i actually do do the work even when it's last minute etc i do well#like if i just crack down for a day i can get a first in whatever essay. but lately i just can't do it. because of the illnesses.#but it's fiiiiine i have a month and I'll write them and they'll be good and it'll be fine. knock on wood. đ#**YEAR. not term. my term IS over. and then i have my third one next month. I'm sure you don't care about this#but i like accuracy.
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Guuuuys, I sent my application for my exchange semester!!! No idea if I'll do it, but I still kinda hope to get accepted, so I'm nervous now ahahaha
#i finished my letter of motivation last night#and i copied some parts from the one I had to write for my other exchange semester for dublin#and I actually don't hate what I wrote that much anymore#like i think my arguments are okay and i really hope they accept my transcript of records for my bachelors#because i have currently still a pretty good grade (because i havent written the thesis yet and once I've done this#my grade will plummet to the pits of hell because my prof will roast me so much I'll consider dropping out of uni lol)#but i still think it's unlikely to get into my 1st choice university#but oh well#a girl can dream#('girl (genderneutral)')#anyway#i can finally focus on work now#i am 80 hours behind lmao (help)#so i gotta get going#shut up amy
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Good fucking gods this stomach ache better mean I got that A
And I better get the grade soon cause I'm going batshit waiting for it
#for context i think some milk i opened this evening was bad and now my stomach is cramping#and I'm impatient for my final grades for my summer classes but we already knew that#i also have to be at work in oh 8 hours so let's hope the pain is gone by then#that way i can yeet old people out of their beds and get them ready for the day most effectively#i mean I'll do it even in excruciating pain#i just want to be comfy while potentially throwing out my back for my residents#also my phone decided that it wasn't going to let me swipe the word pain#it wanted to say pidgin or Odin instead so uh don't know what that means#but if he'll help great I'll add him to my pantheon why not#anyway#i needed to vent#so yeah um if a milk carton bulges out don't assume it's fine cause cartons from that store do that sometimes. it may have gone bad#or maybe it was the pancakes although mom ate twice as many as me and was fine#idk#practice good food safety#and as always#drink water you heathens
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Dare (Logan Howlett x Fem!Reader)
A/N: Hey guys. Just wanted to say thank you for all the support I got this morning. All of your comments really warmed my heart. Thank you so, so, so much. I ended up getting this done pretty fast. Went with "Dare" by Gorillaz for the title. Made me feel better to write. I like this one. Hope you do, too. Enjoy!
Summary: Logan finds out you've never been eaten out while playing a game of "Truth or Dare," and he's more than willing to change that.
Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI!!! SMUT!!! Oral (f!receiving), Fingering, softdom!Logan, pussydrunk!Logan (he does not let up, he is starving for you), older!Logan, implied aged gap (reader is in her 20s/old enough to teach at the institute), cocky!Logan, he is an absolute service dom in this, friends to lovers, mentions of mental health/self worth, fluff, some hurt to comfort, some angst, afab/fem!reader, cursing, def some grammatical errors, I think that's it.
Word Count: 4,235 wowza didn't expect that and oh my god this gif
Youâre lying on your floorâthe door to your room wide open. Everyone is out anyway. Itâs Friday night at the mansionâno one will see you like this. Studentsâ papers are scattered around you. You stare up at the ceiling, feeling choked up. It had been a bad dayâa bad week. Maybe even a bad year. You feel like youâre slipping, losing yourself.Â
Teaching the older students had become beyond challengingâpossibly because you arenât much older than them in the first place. Most days, it felt like everyone expected greatness from you, given the strength of your powers, which naturally comes with responsibility, and that can be incredibly overwhelming. It had all beenâif you were being brutally honestâan absolutely terrible time.Â
So, youâre lying on your floor, feeling numb. You stopped grading papers at least an hour ago, and simply decided to stare at the ceiling, your head spinning. You wanted to calm the noise, to take a breather. Luckily, youâre aloneâeveryone is on a mission or out given that itâs Friday night.Â
Or so you thought.Â
âWhat on Earth are you doing?â A familiar voice cuts through the silence like a knife, jarring you, and forcing you to look up. And there he is, in a white t-shirt and denim jeans, arms crossed tightly against his chest, leaning in the doorway. Logan. You want to roll your eyes at how good he looks. You want to slap yourself for thinking it in the first place.
He smirks at you, his brows furrowed playfully. You let your head fall back to the floor. âGrading papers,â you mutter. You can hear his footsteps as he walks into the room, drawing closer to you.Â
âDoesnât look like youâre grading papers to me,â he teases. You can hear the smile in his voice. âWhy arenât you out with Jean or Rogue?âÂ
He stands next to you, and you look up at him. âDidnât feel like it,â you mumble, forcing yourself to sit up. You draw your knees into your chest. You decide to turn the question around on him. âWhy arenât you out?â
He sits down next to you, stretching his long legs in front of him, his shoulder bumping against yours as he settles in. He shrugs. âSomebodyâs gotta keep an eye on you, right?â He jokes, nudging his elbow into your arm. You canât help the smile that spreads across your face. Itâs impossible to fight it when heâs next to you. Your eyes meet his, and his smile quickly turns into something elseâconcern. âYouâve been off lately.â
You swallow harshly. âDid Jean or Rogue say something?â You ask. Theyâd notice, maybe they told Logan. âDid they ask you to stay with me or something?â
But Logan shakes his head. âNo. I could just tell,â he says, worry clear in his voice. âThought Iâd hang back with you. All my idea.â He tilts his head, his jaw working, his brows furrowing again. âIs something going on?âÂ
You take a deep breath, turning away from him. Youâre suddenly overwhelmed by his presence, by his kindness and his care. He stayed home for you. âIâm okay,â you mutter, avoiding the truth.Â
âHey,â Logan whispers, tentatively reaching his hand to your knee, waiting for you to shove him away. His palm is warm against your skin, calming and stabilizing. You turn back to look at him, his brows raised incredulously. âI know thatâs not true,â he says. He has always been able to read you like a book. âWhatâs going on?â
You swallow harshly. âIâve just been having a tough time lately,â you say, distracted by the way his thumb brushes across your knee. âIâŠâ You trail off, letting your eyes fall closed. âThings are hard.â
âYou can talk about it if you want,â he says, his voice deep and steady. âIâm here.âÂ
You sniffle, struggling to keep yourself in check. âI justâŠâ you pause, looking off to the side. âEverything sucks.â You take another deep breath. âAnd the students are so hard.â You point to the piles of papers scattered around your floor. âAnd then thereâs me, and all my shit. My powers. The responsibilities we have. Iâm young, and Iâm still learning. And fuck, Logan, this all just feels so impossible sometimes. ItâŠitâŠâ You trail off, finally running out of words, out of steam.
âIt hurts.â He finishes your sentence, taking the words right out of your mouth. You turn back towards him, your eyes instantly meeting his. âIt hurts a lot.â
You nod. âYeah, exactly.â He squeezes your knee comfortingly. âYou get it,â you murmur.Â
âItâs gonna be okay,â he soothes, his hand lifting off your knee, his arm wrapping around your shoulder instead. âIâve got you.â You let yourself lean into his touch, resting your head in the crook of his neck. âLetâs take your mind off things, yeah?â
You nod against him, not wanting to move away, not wanting to separate from him. He feels so nice, so solid. âWhat did you have in mind?â You ask, hoping it doesnât involve getting up.
âWanna play a game?â He offers, turning his head to look down at you. You smile widely, almost mockingly. âWhat?â He chides. âYou think I donât know how to have fun?â
You laugh softly. âI just donât see you as a game guy, Lo,â you confess. He chuckles, and you can feel his laughter reverberating through his chest. âCan you even think of one to play?â
Loganâs still laughing, shaking his head. âWhat about truth or dare?â He ever so slightly pulls you in closer, his lips pressed against the side of your head.Â
You giggle, feeling light for the first time in a long time. âAre we in seventh grade?â You ask teasingly. You felt like a teenager, honestlyâbeing next to Logan always made you feel like a love-sick schoolgirl. But you know you and him could never be. You were younger than Loganâeveryone wasâbut you, being in your 20s, assume that Logan doesnât see you the way you see him.Â
He just shakes his head and laughs, pulling you back to reality. âTruth or dare?â He asks, ignoring your middle school comment and officially starting the game.Â
You donât want to get up, donât want to move an inch, so you answer: âTruth,â hoping it isnât anything too crazy.Â
Logan thinks for a second, his head resting on yours. âWhyâd you pick truth instead of dare?â He finally asks.Â
You roll your eyes. âBoring!â You tease. âI only picked it because I donât feel like moving.â And then you realizeâŠperhaps your answer is more revealing than you previously considered. Your heart thunders in your chest.Â
Logan hums. âAnd why donât you want to move, exactly?â Heâs onto you.Â
âYou asked your question, you got an answer,â you protest, trying to shut him down. âNo follow-up questions.â Itâs your turn now. âTruth or dare?â You ask.Â
âTruth,â he says. âBecause maybe I donât feel like moving either.â
You smile, and you can feel him looking down at you. Youâre too nervous to meet his gaze. You think for a moment, racking your brain for a question. âDid you really stay home for me, and was it all your own idea?â You finally ask. You regret the question almost immediately, fearful of the honest answer.Â
âYes,â he responds without a beat. âJean said you were staying in, and said she didnât know why, so I stayed too.â He pauses, and you can hear his steady breathing amidst the silence. âI was worried, princess.â The pet name burns a hole through your heart. âNeeded to know that you were okay.â
You can feel tears building behind your sinuses. âThank you, Lo,â you whisper. âThat means a lot.â
He presses the ghost of a kiss to the crown of your headâalmost not quite there. But you can feel it, hesitant and tentative. âItâs nothing, no need to thank me.â You finally find the courage to look up at him and find him smiling down at you. His lips part. âTruth or dare?â He asks again.Â
You can feel some sort of tension brewing, building, thick and heavy. You try to ignore it, try to brush it off. Your heart hammers in your chest. âTruth,â you pick again. âBut get a little more creative this time.â
He pauses, the gears in his head turning. And then finally: âWhyâs your heart beating so fast? Itâs loud, too.âÂ
Your eyes widen, suddenly remembering Loganâs heightened senses. He can hear everything. âUhâŠâ You trail off, not sure how to get out of this. âI-Itâs notâŠâ
He laughs. âYouâre a terrible liar. You know that?â His voice is deep and honeyed, smooth. âYou gotta answer the question, or I get to ask another.â
âThose are not the rules!â You protest, lifting your head to look at him. Heâs got that shit-eating grin on his face, the one that makes your stomach drop.Â
He tugs you into his chest again, his lips at the shell of your ear. âThen answer the question,â he whispers, his breath warm against your skin, sending a chill down your spine. Heâs so close. Too close. Your heart is only beating faster, louder now.Â
âI donât know,â you whisper. But of course, you know. Itâs all because of him. âJust anxious, I guess.â Itâs a half-truthâyouâre certainly nervous, but you canât bring yourself to tell him why.Â
âNo need to be nervous, sweetheart,â Logan coos, his thumb brushing circles into your shoulder. âItâs just me.â
Yes, exactly, you want to say. Itâs you. But you donât. You try to steady your breathing, try to calm down. âMy turn,â you force yourself to say. âTruth or dare?â
âTruth,â he says darkly. âAnd make it good.â You can hear the cockiness in his voiceâa sudden shift in his tone.Â
âWe should just call this truth or truth,â you say, mulling over a question in your mind. Itâs hard to think with him this closeâhard to breathe. You want to rile him up, to find out what makes him tickâto make him itch the way he makes you. And then it hits you: the perfect question. âWhen was the last time youâŠâ You stop yourself, suddenly too nervous to ask.Â
âWhen was the last time I what, darlinâ?â He asks, cocking his head to the side, raising his eyebrows.Â
You huff. Youâve fallen into your own trap. Thereâs no backing out now. âWhen was the last timeâŠâ You pause again, biting your lip. You close your eyes. ââŠsomebody got you off?âÂ
âBeen a while,â he says simply. Your eyes flutter open, and Logan is completely relaxed, his eyes trained on you. He isnât annoyed. Heâs unbothered, unprovoked, as if you had asked him what the weather was going to be like tomorrow. âBut it depends on how you mean. So, what do you mean?â He finishes.Â
Youâre slightly frustrated by how easy it was for him to answer. âI donât know,â you mutter, shrugging your shoulders. âWhatever the last time was.â
âFew years back, not particularly proud of it,â he huffs. âGirl took care of me in a bar. That was it.âÂ
You nod. âMustâve been nice,â you whisper, suddenly feeling a bit disheartened. You catch his drift; you know it didnât mean anything. You likely didnât know Logan at that time, having only arrived at the Institute two years ago. You know you shouldnât feel jealous, shouldnât care that he was ever with someone else, even for a fleeting moment. Youâve had boyfriends. Youâve been with other people.Â
âIt was fine. Just a blowjob.â He says it nonchalantly. âDidnât mean a thing.â You look straight ahead, waiting for him to elaborate. But he doesnât. âTruth or dare?â He finally asks.Â
âTruth.â Your fake, plastered-on smile becomes real when his eyes meet yours. Itâs just what happens when you look at him. âAnd make it interesting.â
The corner of his mouth turns up slyly, and you know he has something up his sleeve. âWhen was the last time somebody did that to you?â He asks.Â
You cock your head to the side. âWhat do you mean?â But you already know exactly what heâs asking. And you desperately do not want to give him the answer.
âGot you off, like that,â he husks. âWith their mouth.â
Fuck. âUhâŠâ You trail off. You can feel heat spreading across your chest and up your neck, your skin prickling. âNever,â you say honestly.Â
âWhat?â Loganâs voice cuts through the tension like a knife. âNever?â
Youâre suddenly embarrassed. Your skin feels tightâso do your shorts and tank top. âNever,â you repeat, looking down at your knees, still pulled in tightly to your chest. Your heart beats rapidly. âJust hasnât happened yet,â you choke out. âIâve been with people, butâŠâ
âHey,â he whispers, suddenly grabbing your chin and angling you up to face him. âItâs okay,â he soothes. âI didnât mean to make you uncomfortable, princess.â
You smile shyly, reveling in his touch. âYou didnât,â you insist honestly. âJust a little embarrassed.â
Logan shakes his head, his eyes softening. âNothing to be embarrassed about,â he assures. âYou deserve to be taken care of.â His hand slides across your jaw and cups the back of your neck. âDeserve to feel good.â
Your eyes flutter closed at his touch. âLo,â you whisper, struggling to keep your composure. Heat pools between your thighs. âTr-truth or dare.â
His forehead presses to yours. âI think weâre done with the game, pretty girl,â he rasps, the arm around your shoulder slipping down to your waist. âUnless I get to give you a dare this time.â
âWhatâs the dare?â You ask, your eyes fluttering back open. His lips are so close. Your noses touch softly.
He works his jaw, licking his lips. âLet me eat you out, pretty girl,â he pants, his chest heaving against yours. âLet me take care of you like you shouldâve been already.â He hates the idea that youâve never been touched properly, the idea that those younger guys didnât know how to treat you right. But he can fix that. He can make you feel good.
âFuck,â you curse, his breath fanning across your lips. âA-are you sure?â You ask. âI donât want you to do it just because you feel bad for me orââ âYou think thatâs what this is about?â He cuts you off, pulling you closer so that your body faces his, your thighs slotting together like puzzle pieces. âYou think I want this just because I feel bad for you?â
âWellâŠâ You search his eyes. âYes,â you say.Â
Loganâs face falls, and he shakes his head. âI want you, pretty girl,â he pants, his knee rubbing against your aching core. âWanted you this whole time.â His palm presses firmly against your back, his other hand gripping your neck tighter. He wants, no, needs you closer. âYou ruined me the second I saw you. Havenât been with anyone since then.â
âLogan,â you whisper, bringing your hands up to his neck. âI want you too. Always have,â you confess.
He smiles, his lips pressing a chaste kiss to yours. âThen let me do this for you,â he rasps, almost begging, like he needs this more than you do. âNeed to make you feel good, beautiful.â âPlease,â you breathe. âWant you so bad, Lo.â
He curses under his breath, his lips capturing yours, harder this time. This kiss is starving, all-consuming. His tongue swipes across your lower lip, and you open your mouth, inviting him inside. He lowers you down carefully, sure not to break the kiss, guiding your back to the wood floor below.Â
His thighs rest on either side of your hips as he hovers over you, bracing himself with his forearm. His free hand trails up your body, exploring your curves, hiking your shirt above your breasts. He smirks against your lips at the realization that you have no bra on.Â
âLook at you,â he mumbles, rolling a nipple under his thumb, palming your breast. âFucking perfect.â His fingertips drag to the other side, massaging you gently, taking your nipple between his thumb and forefinger and pinching softly. âCan smell you, you know,â he grunts. âKnow youâre soaking for me, darlinâ.â
His hand slides between the valley of your breasts, trailing down your stomach, until his fingertips bump into the waistband of your panties. He hesitates, looking down at you, waiting for you to change your mind, to tell him to stop. âPlease,â you beg. âNeed you, Lo.â
Logan smirks, his hand slipping under the hem of your shorts and inside your panties. âLove it when you call me that, sweetheart,â he groans. His fingertips flick your clit gently before finding your folds, feeling your arousal. âBarely even touched you,â he tuts. âAnd sheâs already crying for me.â
He prods your entrance, spreading your slick, teasing you. He bites your lips, sucking so hard he might bruiseâmight draw bloodâand you hope he does. You want proof that he was here, proof that he wants youâneeds you this badly. You moan as his fingers find your clit again, drawing a few soft circles before pulling away, his hand slipping out of your shorts.Â
You grab his biceps needily, impatiently, your nails digging into his skin. âDonât stop,â you cry out. âPlease, Logan.âÂ
He swallows your moans with another kiss, his lips trailing down to your jaw, then your neckâthat sensitive spot just under your ear. âDonât worry, pretty girl,â he soothes, biting down on your pulse point, licking the hollow of your throat. âDonât think I could stop if I tried.â He nips at your collarbone, shoving your tank top further up your chest as his lips drag down the valley of your breasts.Â
He kisses his way to your stomach, hooking his fingers into the waistband of your shorts, tugging them down your legs. His palms spread across your inner thighs, yanking them apart. He settles between them, his face just inches from your heat. He presses a chaste kiss to your clit, still all too clothed, hidden behind your panties.Â
âLo,â you whine. He breathes you in, pressing another kiss to your clit. He digs his fingers into the hem of your panties, slowly pulling them down your legs.Â
âWanna take my time with you, sweetheart,â he grunts, finally throwing your panties to the side. He spreads your legs wider, his face settling back between your thighs. You can feel his breath against your cunt, warm and teasing. âWanna take care of you.â His lips finally find your clit again, and he licks at you.Â
His tongue is soft, warm, wet. He laps at you again, harder this time, and you moan his name. âFuck,â you curse as he licks a long stripe through your folds and back up to your clit, flicking the bud. Your legs twitch, your hips backing away involuntarily at the newfound pleasure. Loganâs hands slide under your ass, yanking you back to his face.Â
âWhere do you think youâre going?â He mumbles teasingly against you, the vibration of his deep, bassy voice rocking your core. âNot letting you go until Iâm done with you, darlinâ.â
You curse under your breath as he licks another long, slow stripe through your folds before settling on your clit. His tongue draws gentle circles around the bud, and you canât hold back the loud moan that falls from your lips.Â
âYeah?â Logan husks between laps. âFeels good, pretty girl?â
âY-yes,â you stammer, looking down at Logan, his face buried against your cunt. His eyes are trained on yours, watching your every move, taking in the way youâre squirming for him. âD-didnât know it would feel this good, Lo.â
âGonna try something, okay?â He says, his eyes searching yours. You nod emphatically, bracing yourself. His lips wrap around your clit, his teeth lightly grazing the bud as he pulls it into his mouth. And then he sucks, hard. Your eyes roll into the back of your head, your back arching off the floor.
He releases the bud, and does it again, sucking harder this time. Tears brim at the corners of your eyes, pleasure coursing through your veins. âLogan!â You cry out, your nails digging into the floor below, searching for purchase. âFuck!â He laps at you soothingly, drawing tighter, faster circles around your clit.Â
âYou okay?â He coos between laps, his tongue swirling rapidly.Â
You swallow, meeting his gaze again. The sight of him between your legs, working your clit, his hair a disheveled messâitâs overwhelming. âYeah,â you heave. âMore than okay.â
He smirks against you and wraps his lips around your clit again, sucking on the bud like hard candy. His right hand slides out from under your ass, trailing up your inner thigh. Your heart thunders in your chest as his fingertips find your folds, spreading your slick, your walls clenching down around nothing.Â
âKnow you need âem, pretty girl,â Logan croons, two fingers nudging your entrance. âBeg for it.â
But heâs sucking on your clit again, making it impossible to say a word. You whimper, your legs trembling. âP-please,â you stutter, choking on air. âNeedâŠâ You trail off, your eyes fluttering closed. You swallow harshly. âNeed your fingers, Lo,â you finally manage.Â
âThatâs a good girl,â he praises, shoving two fingers deep inside you, down to his knuckles.Â
âFuck, thank you,â you whine, moaning his name as his fingers stretch you out. You suddenly feel so full, so warm, so close. He pulls out, only to plunge back in, deeper this time. Heâs lapping at you with reckless abandonâa man starved, like youâre the air he needs to breathe. Your walls flutter around him, the liquid heat in your lower belly threatening to burst.Â
âTastes so good,â Logan mumbles against you, his long, thick fingers thrusting in and out. He hits that sweet spot deep inside you with every pump. âSuch a sweet little pussy. Tastes better than I imagined.â Youâre crumbling underneath him. His words alone might push you over the edge. âNothing compares to you, you know that?â
Your walls flutter again, his fingers sinking deeper inside you. âYou like that?â Logan husks. âLike knowing how much I want you? How much I need you?â
âYes,â you groan, his fingers fucking into you, faster now. His teeth graze your clit as he pulls the bud back into his mouth and sucks roughly. âN-need you, too. Always.âÂ
âI know, pretty girl,â he soothes, scissoring inside you, dragging along your walls. He laps at you, his tongue stroking your clit. âNot going anywhere. Iâve got you.â
You curse under your breath. You can feel yourself melting, your walls contracting and releasing. âLo,â you call. âIâm so close. WannaâŠâ You trail off, unable to finish.Â
âCan feel you squeezing me, sweetheart,â he breathes. âDonât hold back. Let it happen,â he coaches, rocking into you. âWanna taste you, wanna feel you come on my fingers.â He laps at you between sentences. âCome for me. Know you can do it.â And then everything is white-hot and blazing.
Itâs earth-shatteringâbetter than anything has ever felt before. The tension snaps, heat boiling under your skin. Everything is blurry, hazy, dizzied as you let go, and let go hard. You cry out Loganâs name, your thighs shaking as waves of pleasure drag you under. Your bones are burning, scorching. Everything is on fireâoverwhelming and greedily all-consuming.Â
Loganâs pumps slow, and he carefully pulls out of you. He laves at you, his tongue pushing through your folds, milking you dry, savoring every last drop.Â
âLogan,â you whisper, your hands reaching down to his head, digging your fingers into his scalp.Â
He hums against you, unwavering as his tongue laps at your folds, tasting your release.Â
Youâre still shaking, still coming down from your high. âLogan,â you call again, and he looks up this time, lifting his face from your cunt. Your release glistens on his chin, and he licks his lips clean of you. His eyes are dark, his palms squeezing your thighs possessively.Â
âIâm not done yet, sweetheart,â he says, demand clear in his voice.Â
Your heart flutters in your chest as he climbs up your body, hovering over you again. His lips find yours. âYou taste that?â He mumbles, kissing you again, harder this time. âYou taste how sweet you are?â
âY-yes,â you answer, his hand sliding down your body, slipping between your legs, finding your overstimulated clit.Â
He pinches the bud lightly, your back arching off the ground, your breasts pressing to his all-too-clothed chest. âNeed more of you,â he husks, his hand dragging back up your body. He sits up and pulls you into his chest, taking all your weight as he hoists you up and stands. You instinctually wrap your legs around his waist.Â
He places you in the center of your bed before striding across the room, closing and locking your bedroom door. âTheyâll all be home soon,â Logan says, walking back towards you, spreading your legs and settling between your thighs. âMight have to be quiet for me, darlinâ.â
âW-what do youââ
And then his face is buried deep inside your cunt, his tongue lapping desperately at your clit. âI told you,â he rasps. âIâm not finished with you yet.â
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