#so it turns out I���ve been procrastinating on that

[wriothesleybear]

Bet

~summary: You and your boyfriend make a spicy bet with one another.

~warnings: smut, fem!reader, x wriothesley.

~a/n: Have this while I procrastinate on requests and drafts. I will get to them eventually, I promise🥺❤️

You shake and twitch as Wrio removes his hand from between your legs. It's hard for you to count how long it's been since you've started your bet. "Wow. Good girl for not coming again." You look at him through bleary eyes. He moves his hands to your tear-stained cheeks. "And how long has that been? You've been keeping count right? After all, we need to know in order to decide who won the bet." "Fou-fourty fi-ve minutes-s" you barely choke out. "Hm, it's actually been fourty-seven minutes but I don't blame you for being off. It's probably been hard to given your hard concentration on trying not to cum." He smirks at you. "Shall we continue? We only have four more minutes until I lose this bet and I don't really want to lose. I know you'll break and cum within those four minutes." His comment causes your mind to clear a bit, becoming determined once again to win the bet. "No way. I'm gonna win and I'll get the reward." You playfully glare at him. He laughs. "We'll see about that." His hands find their way under the back of your thighs, pushing them to your chest. "I've been holding back a bit just so you felt like you were winning, but I know what always makes you come no matter what." Shit. You try to keep a determined face but he noticed you falter, smirking. He teases his cockhead on your pussy, slowly moving it back and forth between your folds. He then moves his cock to prod at your entrance, only inserting his cockhead. He thrusts a couple of times before fully inserting himself. The fullness of his cock feels amazing to you while the tightness of your cunt wraps perfectly around him, making him close his eyes and sigh. He begins his pace, thrusting slowly but picking up pace as he remembers the amount of time he has left to make you cum. You bite your lip, staring at the ceiling, trying to focus on something else in order to distract yourself from the blissful pounding of your boyfriend's thick cock. Little did you know, he notices your plan. He leans over you, holding your legs over his shoulders and squished against your chest, pressing you into the mattress. You curse under your breath. "Now where do you think your focus is going. It shouldn't be anywhere else other than on how deep my cock is inside you. Focus on how it pounds your cervix, inching you closer and closer to the edge." He says as he gives more deep thrusts and grinds against your clit. You don't know how long you'll be able to last if he continues like this. Your fingernails dig in his shoulders as you tighten around his cock, making him curse. Watching you writhe and squirm under him with tears falling down your cheeks made him want to just ruin you. He continues to pound into you, making the bed squeak and scrape against the floorboards. "Come on. Cum." He says against your neck, leaving kisses and bites along it. "Fuck, Wrio." He laughs against your neck. You feel the tightness in your lower belly about to burst, until suddenly. Ding. Ding. Ding. You both pause as the bell goes off, signaling that time was up and notifying you as the winner. You smirk and push him off of you, turning you both over so you were on top of him. "I win." you say excitedly. Wrio's stunned for a sec but catches himself. He sighs and chuckles. "Damn. I was so close to making you lose too. Well, a bet's a bet. You win. Now what was your reward again?" he teases. "My reward is your punishment." "Very well then. Let's begin, shall we?"

[astrogurujimayanksblog]

Horoscope Today: September 16, 2024

Aries (Chu, Che, Cho, La, Li, Lu, Le, Lo, A)

Today, despite a hectic day, your health will remain in good condition. You will also have enough money and peace of mind. A better understanding with your life partner will bring happiness, peace, and prosperity into your life. Wait for a new relationship for happiness. Work conditions will seem to turn in your favor. You know how to give yourself time, and today you may have plenty of free time. You might play a game or go to the gym in your spare time. Suspicion cast upon your life partner today may negatively impact your married life in the coming days.

Taurus (I, U, E, O, Va, Vi, Vu, Ve, Vo)

Today, avoid fatty and fried foods to keep yourself healthy and fit. A creditor may come to your door asking for a loan, and paying them back might cause financial strain. It is advised to avoid taking on new debts. Domestic problems may arise, so think carefully before speaking. It is an ideal time for a marriage proposal, as your love may transform into a lifelong partnership. Your mind may not focus on office work today, and you might be caught in confusion, preventing concentration. In your free time, consider reading spiritual books, which might resolve some of your troubles. Today, you might get emotional after realizing the deeper aspects of your married life.

Gemini (Ka, Ki, Ku, Gha, Nga, Cha, Ke, Ko, Ha)

Today, you need to be more cautious about your health, especially if you have blood pressure issues. A new financial agreement will be finalized, and money will come your way. Apart from decorating your home, pay attention to your children's needs, as children bring joy and enthusiasm to the house. Enjoy life to the fullest while spending time with your beloved. You may hear some good news at the office today. While talking to your family, something you say may upset them, and it could take some time to resolve the issue. You will feel that your life partner has never been better.

Cancer (Hee, Hoo, He, Ho, Da, Dee, Doo, De, Do)

Today, avoid letting unwanted thoughts take over your mind. Try to remain calm and stress-free, which will increase your mental strength. This is not a very profitable day, so keep an eye on your expenses and avoid spending excessively. Someone you trust might not be telling you the whole truth. Your ability to persuade others will prove effective in solving upcoming difficulties. Use your expertise to resolve professional matters smoothly. It’s important to complete tasks on time so you can make time for yourself. If you procrastinate, you won’t be able to find time for yourself. Your married life has never been more colorful than today.

Leo (Ma, Mi, Moo, Me, Mo, Ta, Tee, Tu, Te)

Today is a very good day health-wise, and your cheerful nature will boost your confidence. Financial problems have stifled your creative thinking. If you participate in social events and gatherings, you might expand your circle of friends. You may be missing someone special today, making your smile feel incomplete. You will find success in completing many small but important tasks that have been pending for a long time. If you are traveling, remember to carry all necessary documents. Interference from neighbors may cause trouble in your married life, but the strong bond between you and your spouse will be hard to break.

Virgo (To, Pa, Pee, Poo, Sha, Na, Tha, Pe, Po)

Today, you will have an abundance of energy, but the workload might make you irritable. You may receive financial gains due to your children, which will bring you immense happiness. Young people may seek advice on school projects. Whether it’s office politics or a dispute, the situation seems to be in your favor. You may plan to indulge in your favorite activities today, but work overload might prevent it. Your spouse may surprise you today, bringing you joy.

Libra (Ra, Ri, Ru, Re, Ro, Ta, Ti, Tu, Te)

Your confidence will grow today. You may take your family members on an outing, which might require significant spending. Your friends may make the evening enjoyable by planning something special. If you do not give enough time to your beloved, they may get upset. Focus on work and avoid emotional discussions. Some Libra students may waste their time watching movies on laptops or TV. Today will be a beautiful romantic day, but you may face some health concerns.

Scorpio (To, Na, Ni, Nu, Ne, No, Ya, Yi, Yu)

Today, participating in sports and outdoor activities will help you regain lost energy. You may take a significant step today to strengthen your business, and a close associate may provide financial support. Your spouse’s negligence may increase the distance between you two, so spend quality time together to revive sweet memories. Romantic plans might be sidetracked by your partner’s health issues. Your focus on work may be diminished due to a family issue, and business owners should keep an eye on their partners, as they may cause financial losses. Miscommunication with loved ones could lead to unnecessary conflicts, so be mindful of your words.

Sagittarius (Ye, Yo, Bha, Bhi, Bhu, Dha, Pha, Dha, Bhe)

Creative work will bring you peace today. You may find yourself spending money on several things, so it’s essential to create a good budget plan. A distant relative may contact you today. Your work will be appreciated in the office. You might spend your free time today watching a web series on your mobile phone.

Capricorn (Bho, Ja, Ji, Khi, Khu, Khe, Kho, Ga, Gi)

If you do not rest enough today, you will feel overly tired and may need extra relaxation. You might gain financial support from your maternal side, possibly from an uncle or grandfather. Your thirst for knowledge will help you make new friends. A small disappointment in love will not be able to discourage you. Work conditions seem to be turning in your favor. Don't hesitate to give advice when asked for; you'll be praised for it. Today, you might see a side of your spouse that you may not like.

Aquarius (Gu, Ge, Go, Sa, Si, Su, Se, So, Da)

Today, focus on physical well-being, especially gaining mental strength through meditation and yoga. Before leaving the house, seek blessings from elders, as this may lead to financial gains. It’s a good time to take your parents into confidence regarding your new projects. Your partner’s love for you is deep and real, and today will reaffirm that. It’s a great day for outstanding performance and important tasks.

Pisces (Di, Du, Tha, Jha, Jna, De, Do, Cha, Chi)

Outdoor activities and sports should be part of today’s entertainment. Some people may have to spend money on real estate-related matters. Most of your time will be spent with friends and family. If you want to make your lover your life partner, today might be a good time to have that conversation. However, make sure you understand their feelings first. A day filled with stress may lead to disagreements with close ones. Indulging in good food, fragrance, and joy will make the day special with your spouse.

[dietcherrycolaghostgirl]

🎀 Life update split into little paragraphs (10) to make it easier to read 🎀

I am doing really well, barely eaten over the past week, yesterday I had to eat normally to pretend to my mum that I’m fine and I purged a lot thankfully (I’m getting pretty good at it now) and today I had low cal fibre bars to push down anything that’s left over.

Then I had a chew and spit binge, because I need to pretend I actually ate stuff so yeah I had to do some cooking but I’m actually still doing good because other than the low cal fibre bars I haven’t actually eaten anything else.

I have the rest of today then 3 more days to fast and maybe chew and spit some more but I also have a lot of studying I need to do because I have a deadline on Monday then another on Wednesday. Man, this whole ed thing makes you have to plan things and I’m so disorganised and I’m super bad for procrastinating.

The one bad thing is I picked my skin pretty badly yesterday so it’s all red and blotchy and bad but it’s ok I can deal with it, I will buy a face mask later.

Right now I’m gonna clean the entire house (get my steps up) then go get my face mask, then come back and do some work. My grandparents are also supposed to be dropping food here but I have no idea when, I also need to work out what I’m gonna do with it. Tomorrow I’ll get up at 4am to study because I find that works well. I need to stop having so much black tea and coffee because it’s making my teeth yellow too.

Sorry that’s a lot of updates in one go but I’ve been drowning in brain fog recently, for obvious reasons.

Feelings:

I can feel and see my ribs and hip bones and my shoulders are bony and my legs look thinner and I weigh the same as I did at like 14 before puberty so I’m pretty happy about it.

I hAte that I had to eat yesterday but it’s a small sacrifice if I consider that if I was found out I’d be forced into recovery. I’m annoyed at myself for eating four 78 kcal birthday cake fibre bars today but that’s 312 kcals that will go straight through me and later I will do 6000 steps which is 300 kcals to make up for it and an extra workout later this evening. Also since I won’t eat for the next three days the fibre will be necessary, especially to get rid of yesterday’s leftovers (bread hurts to purge ok) I mean that’s not much considering extreme hunger, it could have been a lot worse (it almost was hence the zero kcal chew and spit ‘binge’), besides it’s probably good to have a metabolism day to speed up the weight loss :)

I’m proud of myself because I normally binge when I’m with my mum but I turned down some of her suggestions (like getting fries) and I didn’t overeat (by a normal person standard) and while it hurt my stomach so bad because it’s probably smaller by now, it meant I wasn’t suspected and I’m ok now to ⭐️ve for 3 days. Though I do wish I had lied and said I already ate lunch, I didn’t think of lying at the time but it’s ok I’ll remember next time.

Sorry for rambling but thank you for reading this far and I’ll keep ⭐️ving and updating and all that good stuff. Love ya byeeeee 💖💖🎀

[mulliongod]

Haven’t posted in a few days, I started a new job and I’m procrastinating on writing.

I ve been thinking of the plot for my story, turns out making a compelling first chapter and scene is pretty difficult. So far I’m taking a page from Makoto Shinkai and Tolkien and using description and world building to set my scene, which is pretty cool since it helps dictate the mood of my main character as well as the pacing of the scene.

My story is based on an old show called Robotech, I wanted to rewrite it in a way that young adult audiences may like better. I’ll talk about that more when I have more to say.

Keep writing and I’ll update soon (probably)

Here’s some art just because 😋

[tennessoui]

Okay holy SHIT I just read through your Remedial Mechanics AU and I can’t believe I haven’t read it before, it’s actually so hilarious. Please share any snippets or ideas or random headcanons you have for that AU floating around?

i imagine that they finally sleep together at almost the end of the lesson plan and it's because obi-wan is procrastinating doing his final essay/project when it's the easiest goddamn thing in the entire galaxy obi-wan i've seen you take on sith lords and jerry-rig an sos signal from spare parts on board a dead ship.

and obi-wan (insolence fully out and in high spirits from how perfectly easy it is to fuck with his padawan) shrugs and turns up the volume on the holonet tv and says he'll get to it later, master.

and master skywalker just. falls to his knees and begs him to just fucking. please just do it.

and when obi-wan hesitates, anakin scoots forward, thinking his winning. and obi-wan opens his knees on instinct and then anakin is between his knees and they're both suddenly breathing hard

and obi-wan reaches up and shakily brushes anakin's hair back and he (completely out of the character he's been playing) says, "padawan...."

and anakin blinks and says "master, please," in a totally different but very realized context.

(fade to black cause they start fucking right then and there)

and then the next day, it's time to hand in final projects and obi-wan doesn't have his because he spent all night sleeping with anakin in multiple different positions

and a snotty nosed lil brat is like 'wait a second master skywalker, obi-wan didn't turn HIS in!'

and obi-wan is like ''ve already discussed that with master skywalker. he understands that i was very.....busy last night and will need another day.'

(anakin's face is bright red)

'after all, master anakin knows the importance of not extending oneself too far. i'll need extra looking after to make sure all the points in this lesson have really been....hammered in.' ibi-wan continues blasely, as if he's not making sexual overtures right in front of a group of younglings.

(anakin wonders if anyone's ever tried to spank the insolence out of obi-wan. he decides it doesn't matter. he's the chosen one and he defeated a sith lord. he can do the impossible.)

[99liners]

What do you think of each zodiac signs as a virgo?

Btw I love the fact there is so much to learn from this blog.I must say your blog is so interesting uwu😗

as a virgo? oh, boy.

♈ Aries: i have like two friends who are aries and i feel like they are nonchalant. not cold but nonchalant; driven but not so enthusiastic. their fiery nature is more on the cooler scale. you know, daenerys' dead dragon who used to breath inferno not fire after being turned by the white walkers. yeah, that dragon.

♉ Taurus: i am afraid i have not interacted much with taurus people to have an opinion.

♊ Gemini: ah my longest internet friend is a gemini and we have been together so much. i feel like geminis can become irrationally obsessed with something that they dearly love but they also are very logical towards other aspects about their lives; especially about their career. you know, the key is in the balance.

♋ Cancer: omg... why am i being made to do this. i know cancers are like the mother of the zodiac and they are like sweet people but i had the worst experience ever. i had these two people in my life for a short period, they both were cancers and B O Y so self-obsessed, so ignorant of others' feelings and there was this superiority complex in the mix too. i know, they don't represent all the cancers out there but i personally had a traumatic experience.

♌ Leo: ... my ex was a leo. another superiority complex filled, self-obsessed character. again, i know he does not represent the leo energy solely. i myself am a leo rising but he was the epitome of an asshole. thought way too highly of himself, the type who thinks everyone owes him shit. i don't think i have any other leo friends. my circle is really small lol.

♍ Virgo: i am a virgo, my brother is a virgo, my best friend is a virgo, namjoon and jk are virgos. i swear i'm not biased lol. i've had bad experience with a virgo too and she was very sheltered, refused to open her eyes to the way of the world. i feel like virgos get this bad reputation as the perfectionist kind and like super obsessed individuals but it's not true. think of it in terms of namjoon and jeongguk. they are completely different individuals. namjoon is chill, jeongguk is a bit of perfectionist. namjoon is clumsy, messy whereas jeongguk takes cleanliness very seriously. i am more jeongguk but yeah, the stereotypes are dumb. in my personal experience, virgos are high intellectual individuals who are willing to stay open-minded to whatever it is that you bring to them. a bit of people pleasers, suffers from feeling neglected. major attachment issues, tries to see the good in everyone. more often than not gets cut off from a party because they like to stay lowkey. definitely not the life of the party but by themselves, they are hilarious people.

♎ Libra: libras are so friendly, so nice and bubbly. i am not saying this cause jimin is my bias but i have this senior who is a libra and she is such a sweetheart. she can be lazy sometimes and procrastinates a lot but she is hardworking and is now pursuing her PhD on applied physics in one of the top colleges of the country. definitely not the bragging type. you won't even be able to tell that she is such an intelligent person because she is so goofy. she is also very chill, i have never seen her taking too much stress or freak out. they seem the type to have everything under control. they value their ethics a lot. likes to travel, photography is also something they enjoy. enjoys a lowkey life.

♏ Scorpius: oh boy, my younger brother (i have two older brothers, i am the maknae) is a scorpio and my older brother's girlfriend is a scorpio too. career wise, my brother is an advocate and my brother's girlfriend has a PhD on chemistry so, they are really driven individuals. as much as i know my brother, i feel like scorpios are very impulsive. like if they like xyz one day then they are very driven to achieve it or acquire it but then on other days they lose their interest. they are also very passionate but their love language is tough love. they can be rude, harsh, feel neglected if not given attention but are fairly protective over their family.

♐ Sagittarius: my ex from high school was a sagittarius. if you tell something to a sagittarius, they will never tell another soul. they value the trust you put in them. adversely, they get blinded sometimes by their own issues. "oh xyz got hurt in an accident? but look my moisturizer bottle is finished!" i have seen this behaviour time and again with sagittarius people bruh. waiting for the angry saggs in my ask box, lol. moving on, they are fairly intelligent beings but not as driven. if they like something, they pursue their interests but they are not impulsive, they don't have that level of passion. (i know this friend duo, they both are sagittarius and the guy has a crush on the girl and the girl is so oblivious that it is laughable whereas the guy would not propose and admit his feelings cause he is too afraid of rejection. it has been six years. i have given up.)

♑ Capricornus: a very close friend from school is a capricorn. he is a ONCE and his bias is jeongyeon. idk why i revealed that but it felt relevant lmao. they are caring, a bit judgmental, soft-hearted people. they have this whole hard exterior but then you see them dancing to TT making those cute faces and doing aegyo. they are the epitome of hard on the outside but soft on the inside.

♒ Aquarius: my cousin is an Aquarius and we have been close since we were kids. more driven by their brains than their hearts. she is a med student so obviously, intelligent people. doesnt like to travel as much, wants to but when it comes to you know getting out of the house, they get so lazy about it. jack of all trades, master of none. has a variety of interests but not the energy to pursue them.

♓ Pisces: i am afraid i have not interacted much with pisces people to have an opinion.

[olivia-anderson-fanfic]

Satisfied, Part 24

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~~~

She groaned when she felt someone shake her shoulder, nuzzling her face further into her pillow. Did she notice that her ‘pillow’ was far harder than usual? Maybe. Did she care? No.

“Encore cinq minutes, Maman,” she murmured.

“Marinette, please,” Red Robin pleaded. “I need to use the bathroom.”

“Sucks.”

The vigilante cursed and she tried her hardest not to grin. She waited a few more seconds to sell it before pulling away.

“Kidding, kidding.”

He gave her one tiny grin before running to the bathroom. She could hear the sound of people scuffling until, eventually, Robin was pushed out.

She shouldn’t laugh. Really shouldn’t. Everyone’s first hangover is easily the worst one, and he hadn’t exactly made it easy on himself the night before by gradually getting into it. But...

She wheezed, a hand coming up to cover her mouth in a fruitless attempt to stifle it.

His face reddened. “What?”

“You look like you got run over or something!”

He huffed and sat on the counter. “I feel like I got run over.”

She grinned and pushed herself to her feet. She dusted herself off and looked around.

Red Hood was easily the best off, puttering around the kitchen with interest. When he saw Robin come out he gave a cheeky grin and handed over a grocery bag. “Here, use this.”

The kid clearly didn’t know what it was for, because he nodded and put it over his head.

Marinette sighed and plucked it off of him. “No. It’s to throw up in,” she informed him.

He blinked a few times and then nodded again.

Her eyes fell on Nightwing. He looked stressed as he typed on his phone. He himself was drinking from a glass of raw eggs with a bitter look on his face.

She supposed she’d be looking bitter, too, if she was drinking raw eggs.

She shook her head with a sigh and walked to the kitchen and started whipping up a hangover cure. “You guys are vigilantes, how can you not deal with a little headache?”

“I’ll kill you,” Robin hissed.

“Oh, like you tried to kill Red Robin?”

His eyes widened. “Who told you about that?”

“You did. Last night.”

Poor Robin. He rested his head in his hands. “How much did I admit to?”

“You only got a few rounds in, so not as much as you could have,” she promised.

She combined her ginger, tangerine extract, and brown sugar, then handed them out to everyone.

After a few seconds of thought, she replaced the glass in Nightwing’s hand. She was pretty sure that the raw egg thing was a myth. He didn’t even notice, too focused on his phone.

Red Hood beamed as he took it. “Not the best, but I do like the taste better,” he said cheerfully.

“How are you... okay? You drank the most! You were blackout drunk!”

He grinned and ruffled her hair. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

“Yes! That’s why I asked!”

Red Robin finally came out, his hair wet. The moment Robin heard the door open he pushed past his brother to get back inside.

She grinned. “I guess he’s too good to puke in a bag like the rest of us?”

Red Robin grinned. “Probably.” She handed over the concoction, but he just shrugged. “It’s fine, I took a shower, I feel better.”

Marinette huffed. “I’d hope so. You smell like my soap.”

He gave a small shrug. “I figured I’d look like the responsible one instead of smelling like alcohol.”

“Oh. Smart.”

He winked. “I’d like to think so.”

The receiver clicked in her ear and she saw all the bats reach up to cover their own with pained expressions. Nightwing looked even more pale than normal. The temptation to turn on her own to see how guilty she should feel about them getting chewed out was almost too hard to manage.

Red Hood came up behind her and slung himself on top of her like a backpack, pressing his cheek to hers. “Thanks for the cookiiiiieees,” he cooed.

She almost pushed him off before she noticed something. She could almost make out the words Batman was saying. She rolled her eyes as if annoyed, but leaned into him.

“-- VE YOU LET ROBIN DRINK. HE’S A KID. LET ALONE YOU TOLD ME YOU WERE GOING TO GO ON PATROL, NOT A WORD ABOUT HOW YOU WERE GOING TO HANG OUT AT MARINETTE’S HOUSE. AND YOU RED HOOD, YOU --”

She winced slightly and pulled away. Marinette thought for a minute about how to help. “You should actually be able to get the cookies before you thank me, huh?”

He grinned. “I mean, I stole a few from the freezer, but I’d love a completed one.”

She rolled her eyes a bit but went to work.

Red Robin watched over her shoulder with a frown on his face. “You don’t fill the whole way?”

She shook her head as she carefully twisted on the top. “The filling would overflow.”

“That doesn’t sound so bad.”

“For taste? It’s great, but not so much for looks.”

He snickered. “Looks don’t matter here.”

“Obviously. Have you seen your outfits?”

His smile dropped and he crossed his arms over his chest. “What’s wrong with them?”

Marinette glanced at his face to make sure he wasn’t joking. And he wasn’t. Oh, wow, they don’t know. She was saved, yet again, by Red Hood coming over.

“Shoo! She’s making cookies! Don’t distract her by making her list every flaw of our outfits! She’s a designer, we’d die before she finished!”

She grinned and piped frosting for a little while until Robin stumbled out of the bathroom.

“I threw up blood.”

“Okay, but how much?” Said Red Hood.

Marinette rolled her eyes and gave him a small shove. “You’ll scare him.” She turned and gave him a small smile. “It means you drank a little bit more than you should have, but as long as it wasn’t too much you’ll be fine.”

“How much is too much? I thought any blood is too much!”

She sighed. “You’d know if it was too much. Relax.” She handed him a cookie.

Red Hood looked offended. “Why’d he get first cookie?”

“‘Cause he’s suffering and you’ve already eaten a few shells.”

He gave a shrug. Fair enough.

Nightwing finally stood, groaning as he walked over. “Great. At least it’s mostly over. We need to head home before Bats gets even more upset.”

She nodded and gave them a Tupperware each (she had a feeling that if she put all of them in the same one Red Hood would eat them all). She wasn’t finished, but she only had a few more cookies to make, and she’d like to give them to someone else.

Nightwing and Red Robin were the first to leave, giving small waves over their shoulders as they disappeared around the side of her building.

Red Hood wrapped her in a hug. “Spar soon?” He whispered.

She smiled and hugged back. “Give me, I don’t know, a week.”

He pulled back and pressed a kiss to the top of her head before jumping out the window.

And so it was only her and Robin. She raised her eyebrows slightly as she watched him shuffle his fee uncomfortably, unsure if he was going to say anything if she didn’t make him spit it out.

She opened her mouth after a bit in irritation, but he chose that moment to speak up: “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have drank last night. I used you for alcohol, that was wrong.”

She blinked. Where was the prick that had nearly gotten them both killed in his anger? He didn’t apologize for that but he was apologizing for drinking underage? What?

“I’m not... supposed to drink.”

“Whaaaat? I couldn’t tell,” she said with a weak smile.

He only gave a small frown in response.

She sighed and rested her hand on his shoulder. “Hey, it’s fine. I don’t mind. Just be more careful about it while you’re figuring out your limits, okay?”

He looked skeptical for a second, before nodding. With that, he left.

She watched him leave with a small frown.

The worst part of cleaning wasn’t the germs, or the exhaustion afterward. It was the monotony that left you with nothing but your own thoughts. And she didn’t like where hers were going.

She’d been rude to Chloe. Right after she’d found out the girl had actually done something very nice for her. She was literally attempting to help make sure her wound was okay and Marinette had insulted her to her face.

And Robin... hadn’t actually been all that awful. He’d actually been rather pleasant to be around, he clearly was enjoying himself and his laugh had been infectious the night before.

Her grip tightened on her mop as she closed her eyes. Had she been wrong about them?

~~~

Glad to know I’m not the only one using this fic to procrastinate

~

Also I am here to tell you all that you need better sleep schedules. You reply at all hours of the day. SLEEP.

~

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<3

[crazy-loca-blog]

Hello, hello! This week, we are going on a little:

Home Tour!

Notes: Answer the following with pictures (dialogue from your characters is optional!). Collages are highly encouraged if you want to answer a question with multiple pictures because tumblr mobile only allows 10 total pics. Otherwise, tumblr on a desktop lets you add multiple pictures (non-beta)!

For both:

What does the outside of the home look like? (Front/back yard, garden, pool, etc)

Living room and home office (if any)?

Kitchen and dining room?

Bedrooms? (Master, guest, others)

Other rooms?

Do you own your dream home? If not, what does that dream home look like?

What is your favorite room to spend time in with each other?

Masterlist

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

Ethan: Why does this feel like we're doing MTV Cribs?

Casey: What's that?

Ethan: You have to be kidding me... every kid and teenager on the nation watched that show in the late 90's.

Casey: Ethan... you do remember that I'm 10 years younger than you, don't you? Also, I can't imagine you as the type of teenager who would watch MTV.

Ethan: I didn't watch it... my girlfriend did.

*The doorbell rings*

Casey: That explains a lot... Bree is here!

Casey: Hey, Bree! Welcome to our home!

Bree: Hey guys... wow, this home is impressive! Can you tell me more about it?

Ethan: We got this place shortly before getting married. We agreed that we wanted to have a new beginning at a new place, so we moved in here right after the wedding.

Casey: We got this two-story duplex because it had everything we were looking for: plenty of space with a beautiful view, a nice kitchen, and enough rooms for his dad and my brother to stay here with us when they come to visit.

Ethan: It's also close to Edenbrook, which is important for us if there is an emergency and we are needed at the hospital.

Casey: And even though this wasn't something that we were looking for, there are three outside areas that are exclusive to us and that we fell in love with: a terrace that I´ve been in charge of renewing because it was a mess, a secluded patio and the rooftop and its pool, which is Ethan's favorite place.

Ethan: Swimming after a long day of work helps me clear my mind. The fact that the pool also has a view of Boston Common makes this place very impressive, too.

Casey: True... most of the time I go to the pool with him, but I can't swim, it freaks me out, so he's definitely the one who makes the most of it.

Ethan: I've tried to teach you...

Casey: And we always get distracted... you should stick to teaching medicine, Dr. Ramsey *smirks*

Casey: Then we have the living room. It is so big that decorating it was a nightmare... but we love the result. By the way, have you seen the paintings? Both were a gift from Evelyn, our patient in the diagnostics team.

Ethan: We don't use it a lot when it's only the two of us here, but it is the area we use the most when friends and family come to visit.

Bree: I can imagine a lot of people in this place and still having room for plenty more...

Casey: Me too! It's so sad that we weren't allowed to have a housewarming party here.

Ethan: If it's anything like the party you had during your intern year, maybe it's for the best...

Casey: Hey! How do you know about it? You literally *imitating Ethan* "had to decline my inivtation"...

Ethan: Is that you imitating me? I love you, but that was awful... of course I knew it because I could hear every nurse talking about it the next day... how did you manage to have all those people there?

Casey: I have no idea... but it was epic...

Ethan: One of the areas where we paid especial attention while looking for a home was the kitchen. We both enjoy cooking together, so we needed it to be comfortable enough for both of us. The fact that the dining room is right next to it is very practical, too.

Casey: And he was very specific about something...

Ethan: You're going to tease me forever with that...

Bree: I remember Casey telling that Ethan can't make pancakes...

Ethan: This is embarrassing... and pointless... *rolls his eyes*

Casey: This gorgeous man who happens to be my husband, had a dishwasher that he used even before I moved in to his old place... only because he hates doing the dishes...

*Bree and Casey laugh in unison*

Casey: Trust me, the water bill has dropped a lot since I moved in with you...

Ethan: I wouldn't be so sure... we don't use it in the dishwasher, but we take long showers...

Casey: Ethan! *begins to blush*

Ethan: I think I've just won this round, sweetheart *smirks*

Casey: This is the area of the house where we spend most of our time... because... uh... *blushes furiously*

Ethan: It's funny to see you blushing... I'm sure that Bree knows exactly what married couples do in a bedroom... *smirks*

Bree: Of course I do... you sleep... a lot... after those exhausting shifts, that's exactly what I'd do... *smiles*

Casey: We enjoy the view, too... anyway, the bedroom has three areas... there is of course, the area where we... sleep... then there is our bathroom where we take long showers... *winks at Ethan*

Ethan: ...and then there is what I call "Casey's chaos area"... or the closet. And it's only fair to say that yeah, I may hate doing the dishes, but she's the worst when having to fold her clothes... so Bree, don't even try to open her closet's door...

Bree: Okay, I won't *chuckles*

Casey: Lucky me for having a husband who offers as tribute to fold my clothes

Ethan: As lucky as I am for having a wife who volunteers to do the dishes...

*They stare at each other for a long, long time... Bree wonders if they forgot that she is right there with them*

Ethan: One of the things we agreed we wouldn't have when we were looking for a place was a home office, because we didn't want to bring the work home.

Casey: So we decided to make a change and we turned the office into a small living room for us to read, to watch TV... basically, a place to get cozy. And yeah, it became my favorite room in the house.

Ethan: Of course, the original plan of not having a home office failed. So we ended up building a small office, very secluded, that we avoid like the plague. We only use it as a very last resource.

Bree: Guys, I love the amount of books you have... they're almost in every single room of the house!

Ethan: Trust me, we didn't realize how many books we had until we moved to this place.

Casey: We don't watch much TV, but we both are heavy readers. Of course, the medical books are a must.

Ethan: And we finally have two guest rooms. They both look exactly the same, and one of them is for my dad and the other one is for Oliver, Casey's brother.

Casey: We love having them at our place, you know? We all four have this little family and we have a great relationship. So the main reason behind the guest rooms is us wanting them to visit more often.

Bree: Guys, your house is impressive... but I need to know... is this your dream home?

Ethan: It's perfect for this moment of our lives.

Casey: Exactly. We both love this place and we can't see ourselves living anywhere else... but we've been talking about the possibility of expanding our family in the future...

Ethan: It's a secret though, we haven't told anyone but you about it... *they smile at each other*

Bree: Really? That's great news, congratulations, guys! I feel honored!

Ethan: And the problem is that we both grew up in houses, so we don't know if a penthouse and a kid are compatible.

Casey: Exactly... but going back to your question, for me, this is more than I ever dreamed of. None of us grew up surrounded by luxuries, and I personally never had expensive stuff before coming to Boston, so this is definitely something that I'm not used to, and I don't think I ever will. But I think I'm speaking for both of us here, we're more than grateful for all of this.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

A/N: If you can read this post, then it means my Internet came back to life and that you have a lot of patience lol. Thanks a lot @jamespotterthefirst for sending these questions and contributing to my weekly procrastination quote. Loved it!

[meimae]

I assume not, but I'd like to ask if you ever go back to a novel after you have read some other stuff. Perhaps I'm weak willed but paying attention to so many things are rather difficult. Going through them so slowly is unsatisfying thus I'd mine words first, then read another one the same way, after that going back to the previous one to mine sentences, paying attention to grammar etc etc. Do you think it's better to do them at once or seperately?

Hello! As someone who likes intensive reading and is obsessed with looking up and learning every single word, this interesting question speaks to me, so thanks!

As of the moment, I haven't gone back to reread anything yet (except for some manga and a couple of books I read in English years ago which doesn't count for this question), although I do plan on doing that far into the future just to see if there are improvements in overall comprehension and ease in reading.

I do however switch reading materials a lot when I find something too difficult (looking up multiple words in a sentence continuously for several paragraphs). I'll later then go back to it if I feel like I've mined enough words to tackle it again.

Right now, the "hard level" book for me is 1Q84, because although I read it in English and have context for what's going on, there's just so many words to look up that I feel like reading it too early would do it injustice. After mining a couple of hundred words, I usually go back and check the first few paragraphs again. There's always some improvement, but I have yet to hit that perfect balance of reading continuously enough and looking up words occasionally to not get bored.

I get how overwhelming it is to look at a page where you don't know like 40-60% of the words/grammar. Do not force yourself to read anything so far beyond your level of comprehension because that's the perfect recipe for a burnout.

I never did this with English books in Japanese, I' ve turned into my worst nightmare - a serial starter and reading procrastinator help, but I literally have 4 books, 5 VNs, and a ton of manga that I have been shuffling around and reading when I'm in the mood for them. A lot of them are interesting, but are either too hard or too long or easy that it puts me to sleep or have topics that puts me off, so its hard for me to stick to one thing at a time. Occasionally though, when something does grab my attention, even if it's above my level I never put it down for like a week or however long til I finish which feels great! So always try to find something that interests you first and foremost. It's easier to get comfortable with ambiguity that way.

You can always try VNs with its one sentence at a time feature. Its great because you only have to look and concentrate on so little at a time, so it makes reading less overwhelming which enables you to read for longer periods given that you've been consistent at doing so.

Anyway, don't be afraid to switch to easier material when reading! You might think it's useless because you know most of the words, but even reading easy material is practice and helps cement what you already know. I have a book review coming out soon regarding this so stick around!

Also, and this is not for everybody, I like hoarding keeping a large backlog of words to learn that I have encountered in previous material, usually from novels and VNs, labelled accordingly in their own subdeck. For example, I have all the words I have mined from the visual novel Island in a subdeck that I've been slowly reviewing alongside a few other VNs. A lot of them have pictures, and most of them have word audio from Forvo, and even sentence audio if I bothered recording, so I always have some context even though it's been a few months since I've read it. Knowing that after I review everything necessary in those decks would mean that I can go back one day to Island and have close to full comprehension gives me enough motivation to review them. The words being a good chunk of N1+ words is a bonus. So yes, I read and mine at the same and I keep my precious them to review at 20 new cards a day.

If you want a gauge of what level a book would be and how many new words you will encounter based on your existing Anki decks try jpdb.io . Rating difficulty is both word frequency and opinion based so take it with a grain of salt, but its a great resource to look into to find your next read. Also look into vndb.org for VNs. You can always filter by all time ratings or by your own preferences, too.

Other than that, TheMoeWay Discord, a Japanese language immersion learning community, holds reading clubs for novels, visual novels, and manga every month. They have both beginner and intermediate picks that anyone can read, and if those are not your cup of tea, there are a bunch of other recommendations that people share in different channels. August is about to start, so this is the perfect time to join in on the fun!

A bit of a word vomit, but hopefully something here helps you!

[cupcakes-and-pain]

Do you still remember your spy ocs? How about 6 or 26 for any of them? If you don't want to, then maybe 16 for Ethan?

Okay first of all, I often have a hard time distinguishing between procrastination and executive disfunction, but one of them owes me pretty much my entire last two weeks because I have hardly gotten anything done.

Secondly, my spy OCs are very dear to my heart and I love them so much. I wish more people would ask about them but it makes sense that they don’t. I mostly make and reblog pet whump and/or conditioned whumpees, so my followers expect pet whump/conditioned whumpees. But yeah, anyway, don’t hesitate to ask about them.

I’m going to do Anton and Dyri because why not.

TW: for fictional police brutality mentions, stab wounds, cuts (both that are and are not related to weapons),

6. What is something that never fails to make them feel sick?

Anton is a fairly resilient guy. There’s not much that could make him sick. Only truly terrible smells, like spoiled milk and feces. And his only redemptive quality, he can’t stand children being injured. Like 11 and under. He can excuse children in poverty. He can turn a blind eye to starvation or gaslighting or other horrible things happening to kids. But parents physically abusing their children, police brutality against kids, little ones getting into any kind of physical danger? That stuff makes him sick to his stomach.

What makes Dyri feel sick is that Anton and others like him can excuse physical danger happening to 12 year olds and up or emotional damage happening to all ages.

26. Have they ever been seriously injured?

Anton hasn’t gotten hurt much in his life, but there was this one time where he had to go supervise a field mission. It was supposed to be a simple job, just stop an “angry, idiotic mob” who were protesting harsh working conditions and go home. Well, the protesters knew that the company was going to try and stop them and do they brought knives in case they had to defend themselves. Anton got one in deep in the thigh after giving the okay to start tackling protesters. The cut didn’t get infected but it took a while to recover. He deserved it though.

Dyri had also gotten badly hurt plenty times. It’s something to be expected when you’re a spy and work in close proximity to Anton and Tim. But vis worst injury actually happened when ve were a teen. Ve were running from the police after stealing a few items from a grocery store. Ve hopped this one particular fence many times, but on this particular evening, ve was tired, hungry, and not paying enough attention to where vis feet were. Ve was able to get over the fence but got a gash on vis leg and landed wrong. The police hated going into that neighborhood and figured it wasn’t worth it for a petty thief. Eden was able to run out and bring Dyri inside, but vis legs were both pretty messed up for a while.

16. Is there anyone who makes them feel inferior?

Yes. Many heroes have done it to him, either intentionally or accidentally. Most notable example was the time when he was told he wasn’t skilled enough yet to fight this one supervillain, did it anyway, and got the whole anger blow up thing. (And he didn’t even learn his lesson because he still allows himself to feel inferior)

[hatari-translations]

CYBER - Barnaefni (Children’s TV) - transcript/translation

This was requested months ago, and I promised it soon, and I’m very sorry. The reason it took so long is that this was very hard to transcribe and I don’t have a clue what most of it is on about, and I ended up kind of giving up halfway through and putting it aside originally, and have tried a couple times since with not much more success. I finally went and picked it up again long enough to come up with something, but really this is just total incoherent nonsense that I'm wildly guessing at and I have no idea what I'm talking about. Cyber will be the death of me, please start publishing your lyrics somewhere accessible, preferably with footnotes on all your incomprehensible slang that I am too square for.

Content warning for... juxstaposition of drugs, alcohol and genital references with children's cartoon characters?

Icelandic transcript (attempted)

Hvítir strákar á ströndinni Furða fylgir þeim Fórnum börnunum(?), brjótum bein Gull í gröfinni

Lean(?) mér út að keðjureykja þegar ég set í eina bleika Ég er með svo mikinn sporðdrekapersónuleika Dark mystery, Hello Kitty og frontið þarf að feika því ég er afleit, aðalskapið alltaf bla, viltu leika? Keyri full og klessi á kitty kidda á dag(?), ekki heita því ég heiti því þú heitir þann sama(?) og ég meika ekki

Því ég þekki BMC og neita skjóli fólki að leita Fer í Smáratívolí með bleika e-pillu og raybar Bar-Barnatíminn undan fréttunum, klám og koddaslagur, hvít hár undir rasskinnum í vaskinum æla og Svampur Sveins á tungunum í lungunum Bræla, bara litur á flöskunum (?) kassanum, dreif töskunum frá Gucci, gimme more buxum Britney gefur áritun ef þú ferð úr nærbuxum Leikum saman, slugsum, er (?) uppi í tækinu, botninn úr, hendur upp, ég er á barnaefninu

Píka-píka-píka-píka-píka-píka-Pikachu Pikachu-chu-chu-chu, Pikachu Píka-píka-píka-píka-píka-píka-Pikachu Pikachu-chu, Pikachu, Pikachu Píka-píka-píka-píka-píka-píka-Pikachu Pikachu, pi-pi-pi-pi, chu

Romm í kókómjólk, vodki (?) landi Svala í hjali í sturtunni, freyðivín á plastandi bala Mér er drullusama um flest nema hvernig ég er í framan en (?) með gallana mína Mína-mína-mína-mína-mína-mína-Mína Mús Mína-mína-mína-mína-mína-mína-Mína Mús Mína-mína-mína-mína-mína-mína-Mína Mús

(?) kjöltur (?) (?) Toy Story Þú ert Viddi, ég er Bósi Ljósár Ljóst hár, (?) ég get ekkert nema rimlaveggir og umbúið rúm Búið vín, umbúið vín Er ég orðin Er ég orðin fantasíaknattspyrna(?)?

Mína? Mína-mína-mína-mína-mína-mína-Mína Mús (Pikachu) Mína-mína-Mína Mús (Pikachu) Mína-mína-Mína Mús (Pikachu) Mína-mína-Mína Mús

Hvítir strákar á ströndinni Furða fylgir þeim Fórnum börnunum(?), brjótum bein Gull í gröfinni

Hvítir strákar á ströndinni Furða fylgir þeim Fórnum börnunum(?), brjótum bein Gull í gröfinni

Hvítir strákar á ströndinni Furða fylgir þeim Fórnum börnunum(?), brjótum bein Gull í gröfinni

Hvítir strákar á ströndinni Furða fylgir þeim Fórnum börnunum(?), brjótum bein Gull í gröfinni

Transcription notes

welp there was an attempt

English translation

White boys on the beach Confusion comes with them Sacrifice the children(?), break bones Gold in the grave

Lean out to chain smoke as I down a pink one I've got such a Scorpio personality Dark mystery, Hello Kitty and need to fake the front because I'm hopeless, main mood is always blah, want to play? Drive drunk and crash into a kitty(?), not hot because I swear you're named the same thing(?) I can't stand

Because I know BMC and refuse to seek shelter for people Go to Smáratívolí with a pink MDMA pill and a ray bar(?) Bar-the children's hour before the news, porn and pillowfights, white hair under buttcheeks vomit in the sink and Spongebob Squarepants on the tongues(?) in the lungs Haze, only color on the bottles (?) the box, distribute the Gucci bags, gimme more pants Britney will give her autograph if you take off your underwear Let's play together, procrastinate, I'm (?) up in the machine, bottom out, hands up, I'm on children's TV

Pussy-pussy-pussy-pussy-pussy-pussy-Pikachu Pikachu-chu-chu-chu, Pikachu Pussy-pussy-pussy-pussy-pussy-pussy-Pikachu Pikachu-chu, Pikachu, Pikachu Pussy-pussy-pussy-pussy-pussy-pussy-Pikachu Pikachu, pi-pi-pi-pi, chu

Rum in chocolate milk, vodka (?) moonshine Svala babbling in the shower, sparkling wine in a plastic tub I don't give a shit about most things except what my face looks like but (?) with my flaws My-my-my-my-my-my-Minnie Mouse My-my-my-my-my-my-Minnie Mouse (My-my-my-my-my-my-Minnie Mouse)

(?) laps (?) (?) Toy Story You are Woody, I'm Buzz Lightyear Blond hair, (?) I can't do anything except barred walls and a bed that's been made Wine is done, wine's been made Have I become Have I become fantasy football(?)?

Mine? My-my-my-my-my-my-Minnie Mouse (Pikachu) My-my-Minnie Mouse (Pikachu) My-my-Minnie Mouse (Pikachu) My-my-Minnie Mouse

White boys on the beach Confusion comes with them Sacrifice the children(?), break bones Gold in the grave

White boys on the beach Confusion comes with them Sacrifice the children(?), break bones Gold in the grave

White boys on the beach Confusion comes with them Sacrifice the children(?), break bones Gold in the grave

White boys on the beach Confusion comes with them Sacrifice the children(?), break bones Gold in the grave

Translation notes

The title of the song, "Barnaefni", literally means "Children's Stuff" but specifically refers to children's TV.

Again, I reemphasize that half of the transcript is probably wildly incorrect, which would also render a lot of the translation as nonsense.

There is some wordplay in here, though. First, we have "ekki heita, því ég heiti því þú heitir", a sequence of words that is definitely there and is playing on some combination of the fact "heita" can either mean "hot", "swear" (as in "I swear that..."), or "to be named". The context both before and after it is confusing me and doesn't make all that much sense so I can't confidently translate exactly what each one is meant to refer to, but the wordplay is definitely there.

I don't know what a "ray bar" is and maybe I've misheard something and oh my god Cyber please I am dying, but it goes "ray bar-bar-barnaefni", with the "bar"s leading into "barnaefni".

The bit about Spongebob says "á tungunum í lungunum", literally "on the tongues in the lungs", an internal rhyme. I figured maybe the Icelandic Spongebob dub had translated the name of where he lives so that "á tungunum" would just refer to the place (we have a lot of place names involving tongues), but from a brief look at Icelandic Wikipedia that doesn't seem to be the case? I don't know, I've never watched Spongebob.

The word "píka" is the common Icelandic word for a vagina, so they're saying that and then turning it into "Pikachu" at the end. Meanwhile, "mína" is the singular feminine and plural masculine accusative form of the possessive pronoun "my", and "Mína Mús" is the Icelandic name of Minnie Mouse. Obviously both of these puns don't work in English at all, and if the lyrics were being written in English they'd probably be doing something like "pussy-pussy-pussy-pussy-pussy-pussy-pussycat" and "mini-mini-Minnie Mouse".

I cannot believe I wrote the sentence "Have I become fantasy football" and genuinely just do not know if it's correct or not or what on earth else it could be. Cyberrrrr

[rogersbabyyy]

can i get some morning sex with roger??

i have been waiting for this

(also i’m really sorry, this turned into an actual blurb?? i should be working on enemies with benefits but procrastination is a thing that exists uwu)

mediocre-ly written soft giggly sex with roger below the cut my friends

Your somewhat rather much too reliable body clock that usually awoke you seconds before the shrill ringing of Roger’s bloody alarm (the deceitful thing was situated ever so peacefully on his nightstand) was what caused you jolt awake on Sunday morning. A swooping rush of adrenaline felt as if it was intertwining your heart, which was pumping erratically at the thought of your boyfriend having to leave again. Waking him was the last thing you wanted to do, his features delicate and unusually soft, the frown lines that appeared during arguments with Brian nowhere to be seen. Lips parted slightly, soft snores escaping from his slightly upturned nose, he looked almost like a child.

“Rog. Rog, baby. Time to get up.”

You were greeted with a slurred mumble of unintelligible words, his arms reaching blindly for your body so he could pull you into his chest.

“Can’t understand you, babe.”

“Day off,” he murmured into your shoulder, sighing. “Finished the album yesterday, remember?”

The lingering amounts of adrenaline in your bloodstream dispersed as you relaxed into his arms.

“Oh, thank Christ.”

“What, didn’t want me to leave?” You heard the smile in his voice, his sleep slowly wearing away. “Aw, lovie.”

“Haven’t spent time with you properly in ages.” Twisting around in his hold to face him, you pouted.

“Missed you, angel. Trust me, I’d much rather be here with you than recordin’ with those bloody menaces.” He pressed a quick, lazy kiss against your lips and you smiled up at him. As his arms circled your waist to pull you closer toward him, you found a familiar bulge poking at the front of your leg.

“Morning wood?” Glancing innocently up at him, you let your hand rest on the prominent outline of his cock visible even through his satin boxers. 

“Mhm, had a dream ‘bout you.” He rolled on top of you in a swift, practiced motion, his legs tangling between yours, as the butterfly kisses he placed all over your face turned you into a giggling mess. 

“And what was I doing in this dream?” You managed to say between badly suppressed chuckles.

“Well,” he began, a cheeky grin blooming, “you were underneath me, jus’ like this.”

“Mmm?”

“And I was fuckin’ you, nice and slow.”

“Y-Yeah?”

“Yeah, love, you were takin’ me so well, too. ‘Twas just slow, lazy, but felt so good.”

“Sounds nice,” You murmured, running a fingertip across the elastic waistband of his boxers. 

“Gonna fuck you just like that, yeah? Got all day, if we want it.” Lips grazing your ear as he spoke, his fingers raked down your thighs to tug down your knickers (you usually just slept in them and one of his shirts that was much too big for you). 

“Need you, been so long,” you whimpered.

“I know, angel. Been so patient with me, ‘ve missed that pretty cunt…”

He discarded your underwear somewhere across the room, before fumbling with his own, the material getting caught on his ankles.

“Shit!”

You couldn’t help but laugh as Roger rolled onto his back, kicking his legs frantically to rid himself of the constraint, finally catching the fabric in one hand and throwing it with a bit too much force onto the floor. 

He resumed his position on top of you, cock slapping his tummy, a carefully arranged frown on his face to express his “distaste” at your laughter. 

“Idiot.” You snickered.

“Love you too.” 

The head of his cock unintentionally nudged your entrance as he made himself comfortable, making you shiver as you draped your arms over his shoulders.

“Sensitive?”

You nodded. “Go slow, s’been a minute.”

“’Course.”

Taking the base of his cock in one hand, he carefully pushed into you, your slick folds parting in order to easily accommodate his generous girth and length. You’d missed having him inside you, feeling the fullness of him right in your belly, along with which always came an incredible sort of warmth that you could never quite explain to him. You’d missed the throbbing vein that run down the left of his cock, the almost unnoticeable curve in his shaft. You’d missed him.

Roger let out a guttural groan as bottomed out, his hips flush against yours.

“Alright?”

“S’lovely.” You craned your neck to kiss the underside of his jaw gently, staccato moans escaping your throat as Roger buried his face in your neck and drew back his hips

His pace was slow, almost lazy, true to his dream. He brushed away tendrils of hair that covered your eyes, his fingertips dancing across your cheek.

“So tight,” he sighed, “really haven’t been takin’ care of you, have I? What sort of boyfriend am I?”

“Silly,” you moaned, the friction of him inside you making it difficult for you to form coherent sentences. “I still love you, s’okay.” 

“O-Oh!” He angled his pelvis in such a way that he nudged a particularly soft spot inside you, that had you gripping the sheets desperately with one hand while you subconsciously spread your legs further apart.

“Tha’s it, yeah?” His voice was a low hum against your neck, his fingers reaching down to find your swollen clitoris.

“Mhm, Rog, fuck!”

“Christ, you’re beautiful. Fuckin’ beautiful, s-shit-”

His speed increased a little, the hand that wasn’t on your clit finding your own, intertwining his fingers with yours. 

“You’re close, can feel you, o-oh-” 

He wasn’t wrong. The pressure in your pelvis was becoming almost unbearable, the direct opposite of some sort of horrible pain, and yet it was almost as hard to deal with. You came with a soft cry, gasping his name, eyes fluttering shut as your slick walls spasmed around his cock. Your orgasm was enough to trigger his own, and you felt the warmth of his seed coat your cunt, his voice choking around your name. 

He went to pull out, but you stopped him, a firm hand on his shoulder.

“Stay,” you whispered, “just want… just want you. Inside. For a while.” 

“Fine by me.”

[patrice-bergerons]

I always figured you picked the name Alex in honor of Sir Alex Ferguson, but kebap is a far superior reason.

i am procrastinating packing so i might as well give the full run down on why alex is the perfect name for me because i thought SO HARD about it at the time.

For one, yes it is the perfect homage to my football teams.  Sir Alex at United and Alex de Souza who is a much beloved former player at Fenerbahce.

It’s also inspired by what is probably my favorite Leonard Cohen song Alexandra Leaving which is also apparently the single song i listened to the most since I got Spotify.  It’s sad it’s lovely and it’s right up my alley.

Even though I kinda felt that my full name would be Alexander even when i picked it, I was identifying as nb at the time and I wanted a name that was unisex.  This also helped because I wanted a name I could use in social media, but my family sees my Facebook so I could be like l o l alex is totally a girl’s name too (this was like 5 years ago) (and i told them i decided to go by it because these damned americans couldn’t pronounce my given name, which, that was a much easier fight to have than the turns out you dont have a daughter conversation, especially at the time) (we are a transphobic ass country okay)

and then there is my favorite kebap of all time, the best kebap of all time, iskender.  See, the Turkish version of Alexander is Iskender, which is a male first name that people actually have.  But, it’s also the name of a kebap and it’s incredibly hard to get it right but when you do it is heaven in your mouth.  It is transcendent.  There is nothing like it.  It originated from a city called Bursa, which is where my dad grew up in and where he went to med school and I considered moving to Bursa just for the iskender because no one makes it quite as well as they do.

And my favorite iskender place in Istanbul?  A branch of a chain called Kebapci Iskender Iskenderogullari ve Evlatlari which translates to Kebap shop of Iskender, son of Iskender, and Sons.  Because they were founded in Bursa 150 years ago by a guy named Iskender who invented this kebap and when the republic came and they had to choose a last name they chose “Son of Iskender” (i.e. Iskenderoglu) and they have all been fanatical about making good iskender ever since.  It’s almost a religion as it should be.

[justwritingscibbles]

Shared PaperWork

Fic Request:  Can I request a fic where Schneep finds his S/O passed out at her desk because she stayed up all night doing paperwork that he procrastinated on? 

Henrik had been overwhelmed with paperwork for the past few days. No matter how many hours he labored through them, the pile didn’t seem to diminish in size. But if it wasn’t paperwork, it was work in general. Long days that turned into long nights without him even consuming an energy bar.  He was practically turning into Robbie. He probably looked like the Undead, no doubt smelled that way too.  Was that why you didn’t come to bed that night?  Henrik wasn’t surprised you came to bed at the same time he did. He wasn’t the only one drowning in work. But waking the next morning to find your side of the bed empty and cold, bristled a few concerned cords.  The Doctor rolled out of bed and went searching for you. The house was eerily quiet without the two of you going through your morning routine before work.  It was one of those rare times when the two of you had a day off at the same time. And you both agreed that what was needed, was an entire day of sleep. Resting together then trying to force their fatigued bodies into society. Both of you just weren’t in the mood to deal with more people.  The problem was that you weren’t in bed to do that with. 

It was the last door Henrik opened, and he was shocked that he didn’t come here at first. You were always here. Slaving over papers and documents.  And by the state of your outfit, which was not a comfortable pair of pajamas; Dr. Schneeplestein guessed you had been here all night. No doubt lost track of time within the thousands of words you had to read.  Henrik smiled gently and entered the room. His hand gently touching your shoulder and squeezing softly.  “Honey? Thiz isn’t good for your back.” He teased. Leaning down to press a kiss against your cheek.  You had fallen asleep at your desk, head turned so you rested your cheek on the folder you were scribbling on. The pen was still in your hand, loosely grasped between your fingers.  “Overdue paperwork isn’t good for you either.” You mumbled drowsily. Lifting your head from the desk and rubbing your jaw. Thankfully you didn’t drool all over the papers, but the hard wooden surface didn’t do you any favors.  “I thought you had finished your load at work,” Schneep inquired. Picking up the paper that you had fallen asleep on.  His eyes crinkled a little, he forgot to grab his glasses before searching for you, and the small writing was a little difficult to read. But his lips curled in a smile as he realized whose paperwork you had slumbered on. 

“Darling, you didn’t need too.” Henrik chuckled as he kissed the top of your head.  “You have been putting it off for ages, Henrik. You were never going to get it done.” You said with a touch of disappointment in your voice. But you were too tired to scold him right now. And Henrik only shook his head and gathered up the documents to place in a neat file.  “I vas planning on doing it this afternoon. After I caught up on rest.” He said, only slightly defensive. You rolled your eyes at him as he carried the pile over to his desk across the room.  “Planning has been a very lacking activity with you. Whenever you plan something, it never gets done. Just like that broken branch out the back. You planned to have Jackieboy come over and help you get rid of it. And yet it has been there all month.” You kept teasing him, even as he returned and took your hand. Pulling you to your feet so he could wrap his arms around your waist and laugh at your words.  “Alvight, alvight, I see your point, (y/n). But there is one plan I’m looking forward too.” He smiled and you tilted your head.  “What’s that?”  “Sleep.” He said, the word breaking off into a massive yawn that looked like it almost broke his jaw.  You chuckled as Henrik rubbed his eyes and tugged gently on your hand.  “Come now, love. Ve have some much needed vest to catch up on.” You happily trailed after him. Your feet dragging across the ground as you walked.  It felt good to collapse on the bed. The blankets were so soft and the mattress felt like heaven.  Even though you were still wearing last nights clothes, Henrik didn’t have the energy to try and convince you to change. Instead, he crashed down onto the bed and instantly reached for you. His hands snagging your waist and sliding you across the bed till you were both blissfully under the blankets and holding one another.  “I decree no moving till late afternoon.” You mumble against his chest. But you didn’t get an answer. As soon as his eyes closed, Henrik fell deep into sleep. And you were quick to follow. Snuggling against his chest and Henrik tightened his hold, even in his slumber he felt the need to hold you. 

[stonesabre]

More Than the Truth - Ch. 1: Brother’s Blood, Father’s Shadow

I really don’t know what to say here other than thank you. This is the first thing ‘ve published in nearly two years. I’ve been procrastinating for so long, but even after all this time, I’m still inspired by the amazing experience I’ve had with this fandom. I hope you all enjoy my contribution to the ever expanding library of Stan Twins feels.

Warnings/Tags: Domestic Violence, Mild Torture, Blood, Intense Self-Hatred

Also read on AO3

He was in trouble again, and it was his fault like always.

The regret and self-hatred might have been painful, if the bat he received to his ribcage hadn’t been ten times more so. He was restrained by two men, holding him by each of his arms. He could do nothing but scream, nearly tearing his throat doing so. Gasping for air felt like sucking needles into his lungs.

The scarcely lit chamber obscured the view of the man facing away from him, leaning over the trunk of a black ‘64 El Camino. Anyone seeing him for the first time could guess he was a mob boss. He had the look of an underworld aristocrat, wearing only an unbuttoned red shirt and a speedo, and holding an empty whiskey bottle.

The man holding the bat stood directly over him, sneering at him through his tar-stained beard, but he looked no less satisfied as he cupped the bat in his hand like he was ready to hit a homerun.

“If you were a skinnier guy, this’d be over quicker,” He taunted sadistically.

The bat crashed into him again. Another blood-curdling scream filled the rusted garage. He squirmed to break free from the hands burrowing into his arms like lion claws.

The bat struck him again. And again. The vicious grip on each of his arms felt like hooks dragging across his skin. He couldn’t escape. The pain kept coming in a bludgeoning barrage. They were gonna beat him to death. Fuck, he was gonna die!

“Enough!” The man leaning on the car suddenly intervened, stepping forward and blocking the bat mid-swing. The butcher hesitated to surrender it, displeasure evident in his expression for having his fun interrupted, but he held his tongue.

“I don’t want him dead. Not yet.” He released the bat. After the boss whispered something in his ear, the butcher left the garage, but not before flashing a foreboding grin at their victim. The chamber grew quiet upon his departure. Stan breathed in the fumes of dried oil, gritting his teeth and trying not to pass out from the pain. The only sound accompanying him was the feint rhythm of someone flipping through a stack of dollars in the corner of the garage.

“How much?” The boss, a man simply referred to as Father, called to the person in the corner.

“Got about eleven hundred dollars in this bag,” the voice that responded was that of a crude, southern accented woman. “I’m not sure who’s the dumber motherfucker here. This guy for bein’ so damn ambitious, or you for lettin’ it slip under your nose for this long.”

The woman said this in jest, but Father‘s silence betrayed his displeasure. He took a swaggered step forward and stopped just in front of his captive. He towered over the beaten specimen in all his tyrannical splendor, the slits of evening sunlight breaking into the garage and shining on his balding scalp, extravagant tattoos snaking up his arms, legs, chest, and other concealed parts. Yet when he kneeled down to see his victim up close, his essence somehow changed from imposing to downright terrifying.

“You lied to me. You know that right?”

For an ordeal this painful, the most terrifying part of it for Stan was the moment the man sneering down at him finally addressed him. He was chilled by a sense of fear in that moment... or maybe it was shame. Regardless, he dared not look up to meet Father’s eyes, instead keeping his gaze near the empty glass bottle in his hand.

“Gonna tell me why you did it, Andy? That really your name or did’y lie about that too?”

‘Andy.’ It was characteristic of a mob boss to make a scene out of some lackey’s insubordination. The fact that Stan still managed to keep any secrets at this juncture was so maliciously ironic, it was almost funny.

He was called “8-ball” by most of his partners in crime. Father was the only man who called him Andy. An outsider might hear it and think it was the boss’s pet name for him. Stan always got the sense his use of the name was supposed to be in confidence - a symbol of their bond. Of course, Stan saw to it that trust became a pile of ash.

His first instinct was to do what he was good at - conjure up some tall tale to get him out of this mess. But he was scared to say anything. They would beat him again if they smelled any whiff of another lie. Instead he was overcome with an urge to beg forgiveness.

“I never meant to hurt you.”

It was the first time Stan spoke in that garage, and his words were met with a whiskey bottle shattering against his face. His body impacted the harsh, cold floor of the garage as he screamed, his vision suddenly racked and bleary. He clenched his eyes shut and grit his teeth, trying to endure the shock of his suddenly ringing ears and throbbing migraine. Every inch of him, inside and out, was crying in pain. Each attempt to pick himself back up sent agony cascading through his limbs.

“Nobody likes being lied to Andy!" Father kneeled down and seethed, practically spitting on him. "It hurts when the people I care about... LIE TO ME!” 

He continued his futile attempt to pick himself back up, pushing a groan through his racked lungs, but it turned into a pained grunt as Father clawed at his mullet and pulled him up by the roots of his hair. He forced Stan to meet his glare. Father breathed through his nose in an attempt to recompose himself, but to the man trapped in his clutches, he resembled a beast snarling at its prey.

Men like Stan came to fear the eyes of retribution. It had arrived in a shade of pale, demented blue, like diamonds etched into blood-stained marble.

“I understand you’re in a bit of pain. It’ll be over soon.”

The quiet fury of his voice was chilling, in contrast with his aggressive hold on him. Yet Stan didn’t miss the tone of regret dripping from it. He seemed hesitant to say it.

His hand moved to Stan’s chin, scraping the blood dripping from his brow down past the corner of his lips. Father rubbed his thumb against his soul patch with a darkly intimate gentleness. For a moment he turned away from Stan, giving a far off glance to El Camino.

“I’m sorry.”

The words slipped past Stan’s lips before he could stop them. He was not a man of integrity. It was not beneath him to beg for his life. But he wasn’t heartless. This man was just another in a long list of people he’d let down. With every moment that passed, it slowly dawned on him that he would be the last person on that list.

“You’re sorry...”

The words penetrated his veil of reservation for a brief moment. His lips curled in the way he’s only seen accompanying a certain kind of anger. The taking-out-the-trash kind of anger that Stan was so familiar with.

“Yeah, well... me too,” was his surprisingly sincere response.

Father stood and took a step back. “I’m glad we both understand the reason why I have to send you to an early grave. Unfortunately, I can’t bring myself to see through your sentence myself. It’s too painful for me. So these boys will have to do it in my stead.” He pointed to the two men standing by him. Stan felt him arms being jostled and locked in place once again.

“There’s a comfortable place in the trunk he can sleep tonight. Tomorrow, you’ll take him on a one way trip to the desert and drop him off there. Heat stroke, starvation, snake bites - all good ways to die.”

A breath of intense dread cracked through his teeth. His head sank in his despair, as he descended into a whimpering, trembling pile of cowardice. Shit, he really was gonna die... fuck!

Just the sound of the thought in his head was downright pathetic. He was almost disgusted by the utterly broken, sniveling mess he’d been reduced to.

I’m not impressed.

He’d lost all of his options. His attempt to beg forgiveness had failed. There were too many men around to make any attempt to escape. If he chose to fight his way out, they would surely kill him on the spot.

Yet that seemed preferable to perishing alone, beaten and hollowed off the side of a desert highway.

Get up!

There was a certain feeling men like him were familiar with. It manifested when a man was left at the end of his rope - a gambler’s adrenaline.

Fight back! You’re no damn coward!

He wasn’t sure if the voice in his head was his own or... someone else’s, but it was a conscience that always came through in the most dire moments and beat him into shape.

He was taken back to the ring. His sights were instantly locked on the person in the corner across from him. He couldn’t quite make out his opponent in the dark chamber, but he was menacing nonetheless. He could have mistaken him for some blood-thirsty animal. But the most terrifying creature was not the one before him. It was the one behind him, just outside of his own corner. It was a ghost hanging back in the shadows, warning him that if he didn’t learn to fight back, the world would eat him alive.

The ghost was always biding in a nebulous corner of his mind, ready to throw him back in the match when the world knocked him down. Hearing the cacophony declaring his defeat, he would breathe in the dust around the dark ring, and it would be like breathing in the heat of the sun. He would keep up the fight, his blood boiling with new energy.

The two lackeys holding him down didn’t expect the sudden thrashing about. He broke free almost effortlessly and swung his arm back, crashing his elbow below the belt of one of the aggressors. Without missing a beat, he hooked his arm around and landed his fist straight across the other man’s jaw with a nasty upper cut. Father turned back just in time to see both men go down.

He turned his sights back to Father, new fire burning in his eyes. Staring upon his captive’s newfound strength, It was the first time the mob boss showed any signs of genuine shock.

“You want to kill me after everything we’ve been through! You’re gonna have to do it right here and now, you psychotic fuck!” Stan’s defiant roar thundered through the garage.

Fighting back would surely get him killed, but it was better to go out with a bang than with a whimper. He charged at him with a ferocious wail, pulling his arm back and going for the knockout...

His fist impacted with a gruesome crunch. The crash that followed was even more violent. His victim took down the wooden table behind him on his way down.

“Grunkle Stan!”

The scream was followed by a deafening, eerie silence. He came to realize he was... home. Stained carpet, worn couch and all. There was no outside danger, despite his bucked stance and the rawness of his nerves.

He was ready to unwind, vaguely realizing the present threat had passed, but he recognized the voice that cried out. It was a girl’s voice. Something troubled him about the sound of it.

The next thing he heard was footsteps, moving hastily and erratically. A boy in a hat ran past him towards the man that had fallen, nearly tripping over himself on his way.

His eyes went to the man on the floor next to a broken table, its shattered edges tainted red. The man’s face was turned over, but he noticed the glasses fallen by his side. The cracked spectacles on the floor was a hauntingly familiar image. He could never forget who this man was. He was Stanford Pines. The man trapped between dimensions. The author of the journals. His own twin brother.

“Great Uncle Ford!” The boy cried as he made it to Ford’s side. “Oh no...” he started to panic when his eyes did not open, “No no no no no no!”

The boy’s apparent distress was alarming, but it helped him remember who he was. The boy was his nephew, Dipper. He was back home, in the Mystery Shack, with his family. But it didn’t make sense. Where had he gone? Why couldn’t he remember what led to this moment? And... fuck, his hand hurt! Why did it feel like he just punched a brick wall?

Why was Ford on... the...

Stan looked at his hand, then back to the man on the ground, and put the pieces together. He did this.

“Why would you do that!” Dipper stood up and screamed at him, on the verge of tears. “Why would you hurt him like that!”

Stan recoiled back, looking around at the havoc he apparently caused. The girl - his niece, Mabel - could not move. She was hiding her face in the arms of another - a large, youthful man in a dark green shirt. It was Soos. His expression was bewildered and frankly horrified, but it paled in comparison to the girl holding onto him. She was frozen completely. The poor girl was in shock.

“I... I don’t...”

There’s was an innate horror within the emotion of anger. The redness of the feeling was blinding. In the heat of the moment he couldn’t see the pain he brought to the people closest to him.

But when Ford pushed himself over, a husky groan erupting from his throat and eyes opening halfway, Stan could only see the blood upon his face. It was like seeing his own red madness, latching onto his victim like a parasite.

No... no, not again... NOT AGAIN!

He held his own hands before him, knuckles tipped with his brother’s blood, and trembled.

“I’m sor...”

It felt monumental to say, beneath the weight of every wrong he’d done to him. He lost his breath before he could finish two words.

He walked back, reaching out until his hand touched the doorframe leading out of the room. As he reached the stairs, every tortured breath came faster and faster until he was hyperventilating. He moved his legs faster with each step, reaching the top before anyone could even think to chase after him. He didn’t think he could move so fast in his age, but as he hit a fever pitch of complete emotional disfunction, the walls of the hallway were flying past him in a blur.

He broke through the door of his room and his adrenaline had drained as fast as it manifested. He started to fall over, but he caught himself on the wall to his right. Damn he was tired.

He recovered a bit to close the door behind him. He was alone again. He glanced around his room, the only sound accompanying him were his own burning, tired breaths.

Some people had a way of making their rooms reflect who they are as a person. His room was just as dark, messy, and confused as he was. Quality, business tycoon-esque portraits and tacky 70s memorabilia adorned the walls and shelves.

He came to rest on the creaky bed. The closed door was a vague shadow on the wall across from him. His eyes laid upon his hands again, large and calloused as they were empty and wanting. The trembling still persisted, growing more violent. They were almost uncontrollable now. He laid them against his knees to keep them still. He breathed in... and exhaled.

“Grunkle Stan!”

 His breath hitched in his throat. The cries of his niece still rang and rolled inside his skull, screaming his name with more fear and anguish than he’d ever heard in her voice. The images of the disturbing events just moments prior became a whirlwind in his head.

"Why would you do that!?”

His nephew was boiling with rage. It was obvious in just how fiercely he directed it at him. Meek, nerdy little Dipper wouldn’t have even raised his voice at tough, old, brass-fisted Stan if his anger wasn’t something fierce, but the boy appeared on the verge of drawing blood. He could only imagine seeing himself from the boy’s prospective, how monstrous he must have looked striking his own brother, and how much courage it must have taken to face him afterwards.

Mabel... she couldn’t even look at him. She hid her face away in Soos’s arms, and said nothing. The poor girl had to be terrified, by what he did, by Dipper’s boiling anger, and by Ford lying on the floor, bleeding from the forehead. From where she stood, it seemed her normally fun-loving, compassionate, supportive family were suddenly at each other’s throats. It was all too devastating for her innocent heart.

The blood on his hand was only a feint smudge in the dark room. Yet it seared his skin like magma. It burned his knuckles and cascaded through the spaces between his fingers. It wouldn’t let him forget whose fault this was.

He rubbed his brow, wishing for his racing nerves to stop. He was too old for this much stress. But the visceral images of his nephew’s anger, his niece’s fear, and his brother’s blood would not leave his mind. It was like some demented circus, playing the latest train wreck on repeat.

He pushed his hands to his eyes. His breath began to escape from him again. The silence in the room was broken by his own suppressed sob. The regret he was feeling, it was the same as the one he felt the night he slept in his own car, when he was no longer welcome home in Glass Shard Beach. It was the same as the day a mob boss held him hostage in a Texas garage. It was the same as the night after his brother disappeared behind the portal in the basement. At first the feeling crept, but it had a way of constricting around him like a desert snake. He could have thought he was choking, the way air was moving through him, yet he couldn’t actually breathe.

A tortured wail suddenly erupted from his throat. He tried to hold it back, but screaming was all he could do to keep from suffocating. Someone could have heard him from anywhere in the shack, had he not buried his face in his hands. He was deathly terrified of this particular pain. His heart was old and tired, plagued by the torment of self-hatred. In moments like these, it seemed like the beating muscle in his chest could burst under the weight of his sins. It frightened him how merciful the idea was.

The dam had broken and tears were trickling through his hands. He spent that night like he did those other loathsome nights. Alone, knowing he had shown the people he supposedly cared about who he really was. He spent... all his life lying to himself that he wasn’t that person. He couldn’t be an abuser.

Why couldn’t he stop hurting the people he cared about? Why did he fuck everything up? Was it so hard for a conman to just be good to his family?

No... he could never be good enough for them. His entire life was just an ongoing con. Ford was wise. He saw through him because he knew the truth from the beginning.

The life of a con artist could only come from a rotted heart. There were so many lies, years upon years of them, each one built on the last. But a house of cards was easy to topple. Time was the only thing anyone needed to grow wise to his antics, and with each passing day, his family further unraveled themselves from his web of lies. They were starting to see what was behind the curtain. Beneath the jovial facade he’d built over the years, he was a dangerous, violent man. He was a criminal.

You were right.

It was the last thought that would follow him into his sleep.

You were right about me, Father.

[wonderalwaysland]

...

I have this confession to make, that I still measure myself based on how much I’ve accomplished. I don’t do or think about it every day and I know it’s wrong to do so and it harms me but I can’t help but do so sometimes. It comes out unexpectedly and hurts actually. And rn I feel like crying, I’m hurting ig. Maybe it happens when my life goes a bit not the way I wanted to or just when I’m feeling emotional, but we always have emotions tho. 

I have several reasons in mind as to why I’m feeling like this. One of them that I don’t draw enough. I can’t help but procrastinate and spend time in the phone doing various things. Another reason is I still haven’t got the job and I want to go to drawing classes somewhere, but admission time is soon to be closed and I have no money to pay for it, and my parents are already tough with money, yeah sometimes I feel useless to them (I don’t want to b;ame them but they disregard my accomplishments pretty often, I used to say it’s fine and I’m used to it, but now I see that it actually hurts as hell, and ig I still have this feeling of being useless or idk how to describe it. They would say to me that I my worl is not hard enough that I can do better, and I know I could maybe if I deemed it as worthy. But if I find sth not worth spending my efforts on I wouldn’t be going out of my way to do it the best I can. So if we consider it from the point of view that I wasted my efforts to do it at all I’ve out some work, right? And they  tell that I’m ungrateful sometimes and have no sense of responsibility, u know everybody has to be f*cking ReSponSible and do their freaking duties and it’s nothing to be praised for.) It has always been so irritating to me and has often caused us to have this falling outs. Now I just keep my thoughts to myself and go my own way or trying to at least. I admit that my parents are right to some extent but why should they always cause us these negative emotions, not only they do this to us(Imean my siblings and me) first of all they are doing this to themselves too. I mean I can survive the fact that they see me as someone irresponsible and childish yet expect sth cool and great from me.But it’s their expectations that are failed not  mine when the results aren’t so great. And as such they rarely tell that they love us or that they are glad that we are born or anything. It feels like they gave birth to us only because it was their f*cking duty and to have their desires fulfilled through us( I mean my mum always complained that grandma didn’t take her to any extracurricular activities and that she couldn’t get the major she wanted and etc, so now she does all these things she wanted grandma had done to her. BUt obviously it’s just an excuse for her to not do what she wants to(and I’ve no idea what she wants to do now already, seems like she doesn’t understand it either or just doesn;t see us worthy talking to us about that cuz we are her kids) as she thinks that u can do sth only if u have a talent and still she insists that we work hard(esp my sis whose major is medicine rn), I wonder where her logic lies sometimes. ANyway it’s obvious she runs from her ownself.

Yeah all this turned into my complaining about my parents. BUt I’m healing and I hope one day they’ll see things in different light, for now I don;t want to waste myself trying to persuade about things they don;t quite want to listen, esp coming from me, their child who doesn’t have much experience in life and therefore has no right to teach them how to live and sometimes even state her opinion. Yeah it f*cking hurts. 

But I better concentrate on myself. I love myself now even tho I can;t help but be a bit disappointed in myself, but I’m working on it and building my better self bit by bit. I’m weak but I want to be strong, I’m coward but I want to be brave, I’m lazy but I want to be more productive, I;m timid but I want to be confident. I feel that I;ve had a considerable progress and now I feel much better and more positive about life in general, not just daydreaming anymore.And I’ll keep going even if the steps are tiny it’s still worth it and I have a whole life ahead so I gotta enjoy it and do my thang. Amen

p.s. Loves and hugs to my future and past self I’ll always love u the most, no matter what <3 xoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxxoxoxxoxoxxoxoxxoxxoxoxoo