#so it makes sense that he would change parts of it to make him seem like more of a heroic victim of fate

[bookwormjust]

Subtle change of your scent (established relationship with Azriel, the start of your pregnancy)

After a long, exhausting day of shopping with Feyre, you were curled up on the couch at home, reading a book. The warmth of the fire crackled softly in the hearth, the rhythmic flipping of pages creating a comforting ambiance. You sighed, feeling the contentment of finally being home. Feyre had insisted on spoiling everyone for Solstice, and the day had been filled with laughter, joy, and plenty of gifts. Now, it was time to relax.

Azriel had been out with his brothers, enjoying some time together after a long week of missions. You hadn’t heard him come in, so when the front door softly closed, you didn’t immediately look up, absorbed in your book.

But Azriel, as always, noticed everything. He stepped into the room, his shadows slipping silently into the corners, but it was the change in the air that stopped him in his tracks. His steps faltered as he paused, his sharp senses picking up something new, something that made his heart skip a beat.

Your scent—it was different. The familiar notes of it, the one he had known for so long and was so intimately connected with, had shifted. It was still you, still the essence that made you *you*, but there was something more now. A new depth, a richness to it. And underneath it all, something faint but undeniable—his scent, mixed with yours, and a new, blossoming presence.

Azriel’s breath caught in his throat as realization slammed into him. His eyes, usually so composed and guarded, widened, disbelief and hope warring within them. He stood frozen for a moment, the world around him fading as everything zeroed in on this one fact.

You were pregnant.

Your eyes lifted from the book when you sensed him standing there, the quiet intensity of his presence pulling your attention. His gaze locked onto yours, his expression unreadable at first. But then his wings trembled slightly, and you saw something flicker in his eyes—something raw, vulnerable, and utterly overwhelmed.

“Az?” you asked softly, setting the book down, confused by the way he was staring at you as if he had never seen you before.

Azriel didn’t answer right away. Instead, he moved toward you in slow, deliberate steps, kneeling in front of you on the couch. His large hands, always so steady and sure, reached out to gently grasp your own. He stared at you for a long moment, his breath uneven, his eyes searching yours as if trying to confirm what he was feeling.

“You…” His voice was hoarse, barely above a whisper. “Your scent… it’s changed.”

You blinked, a wave of understanding suddenly dawning on you as the words settled in. Your heart raced as you processed what he meant. You had suspected for a while—small changes, subtle signs—but to hear it like this, to see the way Azriel was reacting…

“I—” you started, but your voice cracked as emotion welled up in your chest. You squeezed his hands, your own shaking slightly. “I think… I think I’m pregnant.”

Azriel’s breath hitched, and his hands instinctively moved to rest on your stomach, even though it was too early for any visible change. His eyes, normally so shadowed and controlled, filled with tears that he couldn’t hold back. His entire body seemed to tremble with the weight of what he was feeling, as if the realization had hit him like a tidal wave.

“You’re pregnant,” he whispered, his voice filled with awe and disbelief, as if saying it out loud would make it real. Tears spilled down his cheeks, and before you could say another word, he wrapped you in his arms, burying his face in your neck.

“I can feel it,” he murmured against your skin, his voice thick with emotion. “I can feel them… our child… part of you, part of me.”

You felt a tear slide down your own cheek as you held him close, feeling the way his entire body shook with the intensity of his emotions. Azriel, who had always been so strong, so in control, was now trembling in your arms, overwhelmed by the news that you were carrying his child.

He pulled back slightly to cup your face in his hands, his thumbs gently brushing away your tears. “You’re carrying our baby,” he whispered again, his eyes full of wonder, as if he couldn’t quite believe it.

You nodded, smiling through the tears. “Yes, Az,” you whispered back. “We’re going to have a baby.”

Azriel let out a soft, broken laugh, his wings curling around you protectively as if he could shield you and your child from the world. He kissed you deeply, tenderly, as though trying to pour every ounce of love he felt into that single moment.

When he pulled back, his face was still wet with tears, but there was a smile—a real, unguarded smile—that lit up his entire face.

“I love you,” he whispered, pressing his forehead against yours. “I love you so much. I didn’t know… I didn’t know I could feel this much.”

You smiled through your tears, your hands resting over his on your stomach. “I love you too, Azriel.”

And in that moment, wrapped in his wings and his love, you knew that this was the beginning of something beautiful. Azriel, who had always been your strength and protector, now had a new role—a father. And the joy and love that filled the room was almost overwhelming, as the two of you shared the quiet wonder of knowing that soon, you would become a family.

[hoshifighting]

telepathic sex with minghao

check the part 1 (kinktober bonus) to understand it!

WARNINGS: +18, smut, soulmates plot, oral (f. receiving), mentions of body fluids (cum/precum), penetrative sex, destiny, spiritualist!hao

the whole day, all you could think about was sinking into your bed, pressing play on that guided meditation, and slipping back into that space, hoping—no, needing—to find him there again. sure, you’d see him tomorrow, standing behind the counter like nothing’s changed, with that little smirk in his eyes, but there was something different about being there with him, in that other place, in that thick, buzzing energy that seemed to heighten everything.

so, the second you were home, you didn’t waste time. you showered quickly, barely towel-drying yourself before collapsing on the bed, setting up the meditation, and letting yourself sink back down into that state. this time, it happened faster. almost as soon as you closed your eyes, you felt that shift, like you were slipping through a veil into something thicker, warmer, buzzing with that same familiar pulse.

you blinked, adjusting to the light, and there he was, standing right in front of you. minghao was circling around you, fingers snapping in little bursts, moving in a rhythmic way that felt like it was clearing something from the air.

you frowned, still not totally awake in this space. “what are you doing?”

he smirked, not even pausing his movements. “clearing your energy,” he said simply, finishing the circle around your head before moving closer, his fingers brushing just near the center of your chest. his touch didn’t land, not exactly, but you felt it like a ripple moving outward, settling low in your stomach, grounding you here, in this place.

then, there was this pull—right at your chest, like a magnetic tug right at your heart, making you stumble forward. minghao was there to catch you, his arms wrapping around you like he was expecting it, holding you steady as you found your balance.

“breathe,” he murmured, close enough that you could feel his words against your cheek. “get used to the energy here. just… let it in.”

you inhaled slowly, feeling the warmth of his bare chest against yours, solid and grounding. sparks prickled along your skin, tingling and hot, like electricity, and the second you noticed it, your body reacted, a shiver that never left the back of your neck, nipples hardening, the little body haird raising.

minghao’s fingers tightened around your waist, almost as if he could feel the shift in you, the way your pulse was quickening, the way warmth was spreading lower, pooling between your legs. you felt it, that slick heat building, and it was almost surreal, feeling every sensation doubled, heightened by the energy surrounding you, by the intensity of his presence so close.

“good,” he whispered, his lips brushing the shell of your ear. “you’re relaxing into it. just… let go.”

you felt yourself growing wetter right in the middle of your legs, hot, dripping honey, that shone in that strange light, making minghao shiver with you, his mouth watered with saliva.

time kind of blipped, like the whole scene shifted in a flash, and the next thing you knew, you were laid out, floating on… nothing, really. but whatever it was, it felt firm, like some invisible force was holding your back. your back arched, body practically begging for that sensation building between your legs that only grew stronger.

and then you looked down. minghao was right there, right between your legs, mouth open, lips wet as he took you in, like he’d been waiting for this moment just as much as you had. his eyes locked onto yours, before his head dipped down, lips sucking softly at first, then harder, deeper.

you felt yourself growing hotter, your whole body buzzing, glowing even. you could sense your aura shifting, heating up, turning redder, and minghao’s eyes would flick up, watching the effect he had on you—and ur aura. he was savoring you, every drop, licking every spot you didn’t even know was that sensitive. and with every slurp, every glide of his tongue, you felt yourself slipping deeper, melting into this strange feeling.

it was unreal—like nothing you’d ever felt before. you’d had orgasms before, sure, but this? this was like the sensation turned up to ten times over, every nerve lit up, every cell buzzing. you felt like you were dissolving in minghao’s mouth, pulsing around his tongue as he drank you in. it was wet—insanely wet, slick and thick, dripping all over his lips, down your thighs, leaving this glossy shine in that strange, pulsing light around you two. you could feel it, this heady slickness pooling, spreading everywhere his mouth had touched.

minghao slowly pulled back, looking up at you with this soft, almost smug smile, his mouth glistening. he reached up, brushing his thumb gently across your cheek, his eyes warm and knowing. it was like he was looking at something precious, something he’d put his whole energy into just for the pleasure of seeing you fall apart. his hand cradled your face, thumb brushing your cheek, and his eyes held this glint, like he knew exactly what he’d done to you.

you barely managed to catch your breath, still riding out those last waves, when the words just spilled out: “hao… i need more,” you whispered. “please… please, i need you to—”

but he shook his head, soft smile still in place. “that,” he murmured, gaze steady and a bit sad, “i can’t give you here.”

your face fell, your fingers gripping his arm, heart pounding. “but… why not?” you pleaded, looking up at him, trying to fight against the drowsy haze still clouding your mind. “minghao, please… don’t make me wait, i need this.”

his smile softened as he watched you, and you could feel him almost giving in, but instead he just reached out, placing one warm, steady hand right on your forehead. “shhh…,” he murmured, pressing down gently. “rest. i’ll be back.”

the second his fingers touched your forehead, before you could protest, everything around you faded out, slipping into a deep, effortless sleep.

— // one week later // —

you tried to ignore it. really, really tried.

it’d been a week, and somehow, every time you walked past that cafeteria—no matter how hard you tried to ignore it—something happened. it started small. one day, you were just passing by, not even thinking about going in, when your graduation ring slipped right off your finger, clinking to the ground right in front of the door like it had a mind of its own. a little weird, but whatever, you shrugged it off.

but then, the next day, you were walking by again, heels clicking on the sidewalk, when out of nowhere your heel got snagged on the edge of a manhole cover, yanking you back so hard you nearly fell flat on your face, right outside that same door. annoying, but maybe just another accident.

after that, things started getting… weirder. the day after that, someone bumped into you so hard your shoulder was still sore the next morning. and it happened right there, outside the café. you’d started feeling a little paranoid.

tonight felt different. the café was closed, dark, the chairs stacked up inside, lights off, and the sidewalk empty as you passed. finally, maybe a night without something weird happening, you thought, shoulders relaxing a little. you were almost past the entrance when you felt it—a strong gust of wind, like it came out of nowhere. it rushed around you, tugging at your coat, your hair flying everywhere, like some invisible force was grabbing hold of you, trying to get your attention.

you cursed under your breath, struggling to keep your coat shut, fumbling as the wind seemed to push you backward, straight toward the door. just as you were about to fight your way through, you heard the soft creak of a door, and looked up to see… minghao. standing in the doorway, one eyebrow raised, looking right at you with that same knowing look, like he’d been waiting for this.

“fighting the universe, hmm?” he said, smirking as he leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed. the wind finally calmed, like it was giving you both a break, letting you take him in under the streetlight glow.

you could only stare, breath caught in your throat. “i… i wasn’t coming in,” you said, almost defensively, not sure if you were trying to convince him or yourself.

he just chuckled, that soft, rich sound you’d missed more than you realized. “yeah? funny. ‘cause the universe seems pretty set on bringing you here.” he stepped closer.

your heart raced as he reached out, his fingers brushing your hand, grounding you, like he knew exactly what you needed without you saying a word. “you can try to avoid it all you want,” he said softly, his thumb grazing over your knuckles. “but we’re going to find each other, no matter what. again and again.”

again and again.

it was like he was speaking straight to something buried deep in you, a part you hadn’t even known was there until now.

you swallowed, trying to find your footing, even though the world was spinning just from his hand on yours. “i… i wasn’t avoiding you,” you said firmly. but even you could hear how flimsy that sounded.

minghao just smiled sad, “then why haven’t i seen you?” he asked, no judgment in his voice. “not here. not… anywhere else.”

you didn’t have a good answer, but you felt your chest tighten, “i just… i didn’t know if… if it was real. or if i’d made it all up.” your words tumbled out, like you were finally admitting what you hadn’t even let yourself think abou.

he stepped closer, closing the last bit of space between you two, his hand shifting from your knuckles to cradle your face, his thumb tracing slow, soothing circles against your cheek. “you didn’t make it up,” he murmured, “it’s as real as it gets.”

his gaze softened, his fingers brushing your hair back. “i don’t know how, or why. but i know i’ve been looking for you—forever, it feels like. and now that i’ve found you…” he trailed off, his eyes locked on yours, like he was letting you see every piece of him, like he’d let you see right into his soul if you wanted.

your heart hammered in your chest, all the little moments of the past week flooding back, every strange pull, every little “accident” pulling you right here, right to him. it hit you, in this strange, wild way—you couldn’t escape it. didn’t want to.

“so, what now?” you whispered, but you knew he heard it, felt it. his hand still held your face, and he leaned in, close enough that you could feel his breath against your skin.

“now?” he echoed, his mouth quirking up just a little, playful but with that serious, steady gaze that made you feel like you were the only thing in his world. “now you let me in.” his lips brushed against yours, a kiss that felt like it reached through every barrier, like it pulled every lost piece of you back together.

it was wild—surreal, even. just a week ago, he was the barista, the one who knew your coffee order without you even having to say it, that little corner of comfort in your day. now you were spread out on his bed, legs wide open, every nerve in your body sparking like you were on the edge of some electric storm, and it was all because of him.

a vase on his dresser toppled, crashing to the floor in sync with your moans, and you barely even registered the sound. some incense he must’ve lit earlier was smoking heavy in the room, but there was something different about it now, like it was reacting to you two, the energy so intense that even the air around you couldn’t keep still. it smelled rich, earthy, mixed with the heat of both your bodies, wrapping around you, thick and heady.

“minghao—” his name slipped out of your mouth like a confession, your voice hoarse, desperate, and probably louder than you meant it. you couldn’t even guess how loud it was because all you could feel was him, pressing into you, deep and raw.

raw—you’d never done it raw with anyone before, but somehow, with him, it wasn’t even a question. you trusted him, in this immediate, soul-deep way that didn’t make sense but felt like the most natural thing in the world. it was like your body and soul both knew, this is it. no second-guessing, no holding back.

he had you on the edge, his forehead pressed against yours, and somehow, it made you want to just… talk, let it all out, every thought spinning in your head.

“hao…” you gasped, fingers digging into his back, “why does it feel like this, like… like i’ve known you my whole damn life?” you arched your back, letting out this squeal when he went deeper.

“maybe you have, babe… maybe we’ve done this a hundred times in a hundred different lives.” it hit you deep, settling somewhere in your chest.

“shut up,” you half-laughed, but there was a lump in your throat, a part of you that wanted to believe every word. “this—this is insane, you know that, right?”

he just grinned, that slow, knowing smile, his hand moving down your thigh, fingers pressing into your skin. “insane? you saying you don’t want it?”

“no, that’s not what i’m sayin’,” you shot back, rolling your eyes but unable to stop the little smile creeping in as he rolls his hips in a circle. “just… this is so… so fast. it’s like… i dunno… like we skipped the whole ‘getting to know each other’ part.”

“maybe we already know everything we need to,” he murmured, and he dipped his head down, pressing a soft kiss to your collarbone. “maybe we’re just… remembering—fuck! you feel it too, right? this…” he gestured by thrusting into you harder than before, making you melt, you knew what he meant.

you bit your lip, trying to hold back a moan as he rolled his hips, hitting that spot that had you practically seeing stars. “fuck… yeah, i feel it… but i don’t even know what it is. feels like i’m in some fever dream.” you managed, breath catching.

“s’not a dream, sweetheart,” he muttered, leaning down to press his mouth against yours, his words vibrating through your lips. “you’re right here, with me. and i’m not goin’ anywhere. i feel it. can’t explain it, and i don’t care if it don’t make sense to anyone else.”

you swallowed, searching his eyes, and all you could see was honesty, that raw openness that felt like it was melting every wall you’d built around yourself. “then… don’t stop. don’t… don’t let go, okay?”

“wasn’t plannin’ on it,” he smiled, licking your lips before dipping the pink muscle inside your mouth.

[euthymiya]

You believe in soulmates. Alhaitham does not. It’s not as though he loves you any less for his beliefs, but he certainly doesn’t entertain your baseless theories.

You’re determined to change his mind.

“What would you do if we never met?” You ask, staring up at him with your cheek pressed against his chest.

He glances down at you, sighing as he shakes his head. Here we go, he thinks silently. “I probably wouldn’t do anything, considering I wouldn’t know you existed.”

“You wouldn’t be sad?” You frown.

“How can I be sad about something that I don’t know exists?”

“Well, you could know of me,” you insist, “just because you don’t know me doesn’t mean you don’t know I exist.”

“In that case, I probably would not do anything,” he snorts. You don’t like that answer, glaring up at him as he adds, “I wouldn’t know what I’m missing if we never met.”

“You’re a real romantic, has anyone ever told you that?” You grumble. There’s a vibration of his chuckle through his chest, right under your cheek in a soft, rhythmic feeling that you’re so used to, you think it might be familiar from another life.

Over the course of the Akademiya’s years, there have been two prominent theories that have been debunked about soulmates:

1. The law of conservation of mass-energy states that matter and energy cannot be created or destroyed—but only transformed. When a person dies, their body decomposes, breaking down into atoms that return to the earth, air, and water. These atoms then get recycled by nature, eventually becoming part of other living organisms, thus reincarnating from their previous life forms. It is possible, then, that two individuals could fundamentally be linked to reincarnate together from the same set of atoms in every lifetime.

It was later debunked by a scholar named Lamiya. Atoms themselves don’t retain information about where they’ve been or what they’ve been part of. They are interchangeable at a fundamental level, which means there is no difference between an atom in a human and a rock.

2. The heart and brain generate electromagnetic fields that extend outward from the body, with the heart’s field reaching several feet. Studies suggest these fields may be sensed by others nearby, subtly shaping feelings of comfort, attraction, and connection. It is possible that certain individuals’ frequencies may naturally align, creating a sense of harmony between electromagnetic fields, thus indicating that two individuals are naturally connected and could be labeled soulmates.

This theory was later disproven by a scholar named Dharmakirti. While human bodies do generate electromagnetic fields, there is no evidence that these fields influence interpersonal attractions or emotional resonance. Fields produced by the heart and brain are exceptionally weak and rapidly diminish with distance, making it unlikely they could be sensed or create harmony between individuals in measurable ways.

They fascinate you enough that Alhaitham pulls strings to allow you access to the archived files, but it doesn’t go unnoticed by you how he scrunches his nose in distaste as he sifts through them himself.

Soulmates have no plausible evidence of existing, he argues.

Lots of things have no plausible evidence, yet they exist, you always argue back.

You like to think despite all the differences, you and Alhaitham are soulmates—that some form of you, outside of your physical bodies, exists for each other and each other alone.

You think it must be the case when your eyes seem to find his in a crowd without even trying. What are the odds that in a sea of people, they always happen to come across his by chance? And what other explanation would there be for the way he always seems to just know you’re staring at him while he sleeps every morning, waking up not too long after your eyes fall on his face in admiration? And how else would you rationalize the fact that you could tell his presence apart from anyone. You’re certain that if two bodies were standing behind you from a distance, your heart would know which one belonged to him.

Soulmates, you argue. That has to be the answer.

“I think we were always meant to meet,” you murmur quietly, tracing a finger along the pale skin of his chest. “Don’t you?”

“We’ve shared numerous classes together and have offices within within the same hall,” he states blandly, “I think the chances of not meeting would be rather improbable.”

“Or maybe,” you huff, “we were always meant to meet because we’re soulmates.”

“I think that theory has been sufficiently disproven—”

“You never know! We believe in the divine even if we’ve never seen them, haven’t we? Who’s to say Celestia aren’t fake—”

“The Archons have spoken of them multiple times, and The Gods, in fact, do exist for us to see, so I think we can trust—”

“Maybe Celestia decide soulmates,” you reason, raising a pointed brow at him, “how will you disprove that? There’s no evidence that they haven’t, and you can’t collect much evidence about them, so I think it’s safe to say that it’s possible.”

“But then it’s equally as safe to say it’s not possible by that logic, as well,” he says smugly.

“Fine,” you huff, glowering up at him through puffed cheeks, “I guess you’re just too stubborn to convince.”

“I’m not stubborn,” he argues (which he does quite stubbornly, you want to say), “I apply logic and reasoning to my theories. Which is why they are hardly disproven.”

“Do you at least think we’d be soulmates in another world if they did exist?” You ask hopefully.

He looks like he wants to argue about the likelihood of another world existing altogether—it irritates you enough that it pulls a frown on your face before you grumble a quiet forget it, shuffling out of his arms and turning away to face your back at him.

He chuckles, shaking his head. Something fond blooms in his chest, like a fresh padisarah in May.

“If,” he emphasizes as his arms wrap around you from behind, pulling you flush against his chest once more, “if in another world we existed where soulmates were real, then yes. I do think it would be you and I.”

“Really?” You ask quietly.

“Yes,” he whispers. Suddenly, he sounds rather sure about a theory he never even believed in the first place.

“I wonder what we’re doing in that other world,” you hum thoughtfully.

He sighs, bringing the blanket back up to cover both of your bodies and mumbles, “I would hope we’d be sleeping at a reasonable hour before a work day.”

—————

Stay tuned for them being soulmates after all in another world *wink wink* ;)

[diodellet]

try wishing for it: magical girl au (scarabia x gn!reader)

inspired by @ceruleancattail's magical girl au and @yan-lorkai's yandere genie fic. note: i also imagine scarabia's mascot form to look like this. title is ripped from tohma's magical girl eudaemonics. content warnings: -yandere (if you squint, since scarabia's taking the role of kyubey in this fic. references of manipulation and general moral grayness.) -fic uses "magical girl" but means it in a gender-neutral sense (reader is referred to with they/them pronouns) word count: 2.7k words

Being a magical girl means gaining the power to do virtually anything you can dream of.

The first time you defeat a wraith, you stare in awe at your hands, breathing heavily from sheer excitement rather than exertion. With one final roar, the beast falls to the ground, before dissolving into black smoke.

“Woah, you did it! You really took it down!” Kalim barrels into you, gushing praise after praise. “See, Jamil? I told you they were going to be powerful!” 

Jamil is more mindful of you, instead floating over to land on your other shoulder. “Nice job.”

“You’re a natural!” Kalim’s bouncing with joy in your palm, waving his little stubby arms. “You probably won’t even need to use your three wishes!”

Right, there was that. In the case that you were against an overwhelmingly powerful foe, you could draw on your familiars’ magic—a ‘wish,’ they called it.

“Don’t jinx them, Kalim.”

“...What happens if I asked for more wishes?”

“It doesn’t work like that.” The stitches of Jamil’s plush smile don’t change, but there’s a note of something foreboding in his words. “Though, you don’t seem like the type to squander them. Don’t worry about it too much.” Despite their cartoonish appearance, your familiars’ words and warnings carried a grave weight

Your gaze drifts to the slain wraith. All that remains is the tarnished metal collar that hung around its neck, until it too crumbles into dust.

There’s something hauntingly beautiful in that faint shimmer of gold as it gets blown away by the wind.

Being a magical girl means toting around two innocuous round plushies of your familiars to class.

With your new double life, you get two new companions following you around. It means bearing Kalim’s excited chattering as you take notes, dealing with Jamil’s snide teasing as your classmates point out your new bag charms.

What you don’t expect is to see the two of them sitting in your living room the next morning, clad in your school’s uniform.

“Good mor—oof!” Your book bag collides with Kalim’s chest and you use the momentum to drag him and Jamil by the elbow out of your house, ignoring your dad’s concerned calls with a loud “I’m heading out!”

You didn’t get the memo that being able to transform was part of their repertoire as magical familiars, but you should’ve expected this. Between Kalim’s thousand-kilowatt smile and Jamil’s calculating gaze, you very much prefer them as small round plushies.

(It’s strange that your schoolmates and teachers don’t question the two new additions to the class, but you appreciate that your cover wasn’t blown with this curveball. You suspect it might have to do with the red glow in Jamil’s eyes. You decide to question them at the end of the class day.)

“It’d be better if one of you stayed as a plushie.”

“Then that means it would be Jamil since he’s better at keeping attention off of us.”

“By that logic, they’re talking about you, Kalim.” Is it you or is that a hint of a smile on Jamil’s lips?

“Oh.” Kalim’s expression falls into a pout. “But I like attending classes with you!”

He probably wouldn’t like it as much during exams week. “I wouldn’t be able to keep a low profile if people noticed you…guys following me around.”

“Aw, I guess so…Thanks for treating us to ice cream, though!”

You offer to buy them another one, just to make their one and only day at school special. You start heading towards another freezer, there’s a special lottery on these soda popsicles.

Jamil’s attention turns toward the counter. He’d been eyeing the person at the cashier. “Wait, something seems—” 

And that’s all the warning he can give before a group of wraiths crashes through the convenience store wall. Ending up in a sprawled mess of tangled limbs was not ideal. It’s settled, you definitely preferred them in their plushie forms.

Being a magical girl means getting woken up by Kalim in the middle of the night to patrol the city.

As a hand-sized plush ball, he’s already pretty strong. But under the cover of night, he can shed his disguise and drag accompany you around to see you deliver justice to evildoers. 

Your drowsiness fades away as you leap from rooftop to rooftop, dispatching fledgeling wraiths hiding in narrow alleyways, stopping drunken confrontations, watching over lone pedestrians traversing through seedier parts of the city.

“There’s another one, it’s a low-ranking wraith!”

“I’ve got it!” Magic gathers around your weapon, bathing it in golden light as you swing and cleave the monster into two.

It didn’t even get a fighting chance to writhe or fight back. All it can do is dissipate into nothing.

Which is for the best.

“That was so quick!” Kalim bounds over to you as your weapon fades out of view. “You’re getting better and better at fighting!”

“Well, you did say it was a weak one…” You tug at the collar of your outfit. His praise feels like staring into the glare of the sun, straight on. “I’m probably not that much better than those other magical girls before me.”

“Still! It doesn’t make you any less amazing—Are you hurt anywhere?” Kalim starts looking you over for any injuries that he might have missed.

Too close. “Not a scratch. Come on, let’s head home.”

Though you should’ve expected things would go sideways at some point, that the night would bring untold horrors instead of passing peacefully. In a mix of your carelessness and Kalim’s overexcitement, an avian-like wraith appears and catches you both offguard, talons closing around his midsection and carrying him into the sky, each powerful beat of its wings taking him farther and farther away from you.

Adrenaline surges through you and the asphalt of the sidewalk cracks underneath your soles as you leap to the sky in pursuit. “Kalim!” Just before you can close the distance, he screams at you to get back, making you falter. A long shadow whips through the air—a prehensile tail of sorts—preventing you from approaching. 

Switching tactics, you aim for its wings. Better to bring it to the ground.

(Miraculously, Kalim got the cue to turn into his plushie form to avoid getting caught in the crossfire. You manage to catch him before the both of you crash. Though, Kalim’s awed gushing was probably going to give you a sunburn.)

Being a magical girl means Jamil takes your healthcare into his own hands, sometimes.

“It’s the sleep deprivation.”

“No, it’s not.” A coughing fit strikes you at that moment, betraying the extent of your sickness.

“It’s because you’re overexerting yourself with your ‘nightly escapades.’”

“Fine—so what if I am? Isn’t that what I’m supposed to do? To protect helpless people day and night?”

“Obviously, not at the cost of your own wellbeing!”

You didn’t think you would ever end up in this kind of situation, being yelled at by a floating plush ball while confined to your bed of messy blankets and used tissues.

The angry heat in your face is making your headache worse, makes you see gray for a moment before you could fire back.

“...I’m sorry,” you spit without an ounce of penance.

Jamil sighs. “Well. There’s no use in pressing the matter any further.” Just before he disappears, he tells you to get some rest.

Easier said than done.

The minutes inch by agonizingly slow. Your room is so silent, magnifying the buzz of your own thoughts. Up until this point, your life became a whirlwind of academics, extracurriculars, and fighting evil monsters. But at this moment of standstill, you can’t help but come to the realization that he was right. With your rashness, you basically incapacitated yourself. Sure, your familiars were also capable magic users. Sure, they could hold off wraiths from doing any major damage, but the thought that this entire situation could have been avoided, that this was entirely your fault—

A tear slips down your cheek, then more and more, until you’re quietly sobbing, frustrated, into your palms.

The mattress of your bed dips with the added weight of another person. “Mom—”

Jamil shushes you. “Drink this first.” You hear the rustle of plastic—did he go to the pharmacy?—and feel him press two tablets into your hand. As you swallow them, he hands you a glass of water. His other hand rests against your sweat-covered back, thumb rubbing soothing circles into your skin. 

(It is a stark contrast to his rough words from earlier.)

“I thought you…” They probably had other magical fighters to watch over, didn’t they?

It’s probably the fever messing with your senses, but there’s an uncharacteristic softness in Jamil’s voice. “Shh. No more of that, now.”

“...then why?” Were you really the only one?

“Just focus on getting better.” 

“But—”

“Your mom’s making soup for dinner, she will come to check on you in an hour. I’ll stay with you until then. Rest.” 

His words are not enough to placate your worries fully, but there’s a soft glow of red in his irises that makes you acquiesce and close your eyes, all while clutching onto Jamil’s wrist.

Being a magical girl means thinking up new ways to explain your many conversations “to yourself.”

Your parents are easy, it’s just the angst of youth. But your siblings are a little more difficult to convince. In addition to your moments of listlessness, they can hear your frantic back and forth pacing and the thump of you throwing your plushies against the paper-thin walls of your room. It can only mean one thing—

“Get out! I’m not having romance issues!” You slam the door behind your sibling’s cackles.

Your familiars remain still, seated on your bed until the sound of footsteps is sufficiently out of earshot.

“Are you really seeing someone?” Kalim pipes up.

“No!” You bury your face into your hands. “I—How would I have the time for that?”

“Besides,” Jamil chimes in, “we’re the only ones who’ve been accompanying them. Unless—”

Your body moves of its own accord, snatching Jamil with both hands and giving him a threatening squeeze, an unspoken ‘don’t you dare finish that sentence’ left hanging in mid-air.

When he stays quiet, your death grip lightens up. Just a little bit. A heavy exhale leaves your frame. “Look, for all that we’ve gone through—”

(A part of you is hesitant to admit it but, having gained them as new companions made your journey as a magical girl feel less daunting. You felt safe knowing that you could rely on them to watch your back, in spite of the close calls you’ve had. 

As for whether or not you’d started looking at them differently, well, you’d need more time to think on it. There. End of conversation.)

“I guess… I’m glad I met you. The both of you,” you finished lamely.

The silence that followed was deafening. For once, you’d wished their plushie forms could emote more instead of giving you that placid smile. 

With a pop! and shower of golden sparks, Kalim’s arms close around you in a tight hug. A bright grin splitting his cheeks. “I’m happy we’re friends too!”

“Stop squeezing me!” Jamil grits out.

Being a magical girl means double checking your word choice, especially for any quips and retorts.

The first time you transformed, you commented offhandedly about your footwear and Jamil made a little adjustment to your attire. 

With a snap of his fingers, a golden bangle clasps around your ankle. Lightweight, no doubt it would look beautiful when the light hits it at the right angle, but—

A frown pulls at your lips.

“Would you like another one? Just for some…symmetry,” Jamil suggests. 

You decide better against responding to that. 

“Think of it as a gift from me and Kalim.”

Was this something they bestowed to every magical fighter they took under their wing? “...Some gift this is.”

“Relax, you still have three wishes left. I won’t trick you into wasting them.”

Well, that diminished most of your initial doubt. “How can I be sure of that?” you question.

Jamil’s head tilts to the side, appraising you with an eerily-observant gaze. “All you have to do is ask. Anything that your heart desires, anything your mind can conceive.” 

You don’t like how his eyes are trained on you, making you feel small. You pick at an imaginary speck of dirt on your top, straighten out the already-impeccable fabric.

A thick silence falls over the both of you.

“...Will you—will you both ask me if I’m sure, before granting my wish?” It’s such a stupid thing to worry about, to fuss over the intricacies of your arrangement as Magical Girl and Familiar.

“Of course.” Jamil gives you a smile. “Shall we head to where Kalim is?”

“Yeah.” Your weapon appears in your hand with a flash of gold. “Let’s destroy that wraith’s nest.”

(More than desires you want fulfilled, there are anxieties you want quelled, fears you want silenced. Miracles to the myriad of unfortunate catastrophes that plagued your home—the flawed world that you lived in. So what if you contained untold power at your fingertips? You were only one person tasked with the protection of hundreds. At the peak of your distress—in the midst of sirens and flashing lights—you call for Jamil and utter your first wish through choked sobs.)

Being a magical girl means not relying on your powers, sometimes.

The trapped kitten gives another pitiful wail, thrashing against your grip as you clamber down the tree. In holding onto it tightly, you earn a set of angry-red scratch marks along the backs of your hands before reaching solid ground. The kitten bounds away with a final hiss.

“Why didn’t you transform?” Kalim asks.

You shrug, running a finger over one of the scratches. “I guess it’s ’cause I didn’t wanna mess up the outfit.”

“What do you mean?”

Bashful, your gaze ducks to your shoes, worn from years of use but sturdily hanging on. “It’s just, lately, the wraiths have been getting more and more powerful. And I…” Feel weak? Pressured? Alright, maybe you were still hung up over leaving a little crater at a major intersection, but it was either that or letting the ursine wraith lay waste to the nearby shopping center. There wasn’t any time to dwell on those shortcomings.

(But your mind liked to circle back to it. Was there any more you could do? Why couldn’t you do more?)

They warned you about this, that at some point, you would end up facing more destructive wraiths. That you would have to choose among innocents.

He takes your injured hands. “You can always make a wish.” Kalim’s healing magic washes over you, cool and gentle, like a stream of water. You watch the scratches slowly close up until they become nothing more than a set of faint white lines. “That’s what me and Jamil are for.”

“That’s true…”

“Anything you want.” Kalim repeats. “I’ll make it happen.”

It’s those simple words— and the sight of him cradling your hands in his palms—that grant you the courage to speak your next words, your second wish.

Being a magical girl means weighing your soul against the lives of people, friends and strangers alike.

“Come on, you have to get up.” Tears are streaming down Kalim’s cheeks, his hands hover by your prone and bloodied form, unsure of which wounds to heal.

Wearily, you gaze cranes upwards as if every bit of movement caused pain throughout your body.

Jamil has witnessed this scenario a thousand times. He keeps a stoic face. “Are you just going to let them destroy everything?”

“...I can’t let them…”

“You’re hurting yourself! Jamil, you have to do something!”

“It’s not my choice to make.”

When in the face of an unstoppable threat—a horde of chimeran wraiths that will lay waste to your home, will you make that final third wish and trust in them?

Jamil knows how you’ll answer. Rather than using them as quick and easy schemes, your first two wishes were—in some way—made for the good of others around you. For someone who won’t even know or care about that small bit of kindness. At the core of every human is a desperate self-preservation instinct that pushes them to make a final wish. And like clockwork, you will follow like the rest of the magical girls that they created. It’s a strategy that has benefited him and Kalim. And he has been fervently waiting for this moment, for a powerful one like you to—

“I’m...not giving up…!”

Or not? 

His lips curl into a smile. “Then give them hell.”

They can wait this out. Compared to their infinite lifespan, your emotional fortitude was only a drop in the ocean.

a/n: aaaa thanks @jessamine-rose for betaing this fic with ur fresh eyes. this au rlly gave me brainworms of the feral variety, i think i liked leaving most of the details ambiguous and free to interpretation, but i might come up with a separate author's note post about worldbuilding bits i couldnt fit in? eh we'll see! i hope yall enjoyed reading this! tagging some jamilnatics: @viperwhispered @twstgo @just-a-little-silly @mama-m1na @crystallizsch @sillystr1ngs (lmk if you wanna join the taglist for jamil writing in the replies)

[aquaticmercy]

Waste a Moment / Part 10

Summary : Bucky had always kept his distance, but seeing you get hurt on a mission changed everything. For the first time, he has a chance to start over with you.

Pairing : Bucky Barnes x avenger!reader (she/her) 

Warnings/tags : Mentions of food. Cursing. Memory loss. Head injury. Reader used to work in a museum.

Requested by :  @remoony

Word count : 2.7k

Note : Thank you so much for all the love you all are giving this series! Enjoy!

Series Masterlist

“Give me Something I Want”

Wednesday.

In the days that followed Yelena’s ultimatum, Bucky felt a strange, quiet storm churning beneath the life he’d finally allowed himself. 

For the first time in years, he felt a sense of warmth, of peace—something he’d only dreamed about, something that had always felt out of reach. 

He had you. And he could feel the calmness like he hadn't felt before every time you looked at him, every time your hand slipped into his, every time you said his name with a kind of gentle joy he’d thought he’d never deserve.

Even after that little bicker on Monday night, you had found your rhythm again, choosing to trust him instead.

He’d spent so many nights alone, haunted by the weight of his own memories, terrified of what he was capable of, of who he had been. 

But you… you made him feel like he was worth saving. 

But even as he kissed your hair and let himself sink into the couch cushions, he could feel Yelena’s judgement hanging over him like a ghost. The truth clawed at him, the bitter memories whispering reminders of the damage it could do if found out, if you knew the version of him that had once pushed you away, that had built walls so high he didn’t know how to tear them down, could you still look at him with that same kind stare? Would you pull away, realising that you’d only seen a sliver of the man he’d been, that the rest was buried in regrets and choices he wasn’t proud of?

His mind flashed back to that moment with Yelena, her voice leaving him exposed, vulnerable. Her words echoed in his head, haunting him. 

But she didn’t understand— she couldn’t possibly. Because you now looked at him with love and adoration. He wasn’t ready to lose that, to lose you.

Thursday.

The next morning, he found himself watching you as you slept, the barest light tracing your features. His heart twisted in a strange, painful mix of love and fear. 

He would carry the burden of his past alone, if it meant he could keep the life he’d found in you. 

He kissed your forehead, his lips as light as a feather, making a silent promise to himself: he would protect you from the pieces of himself that might hurt you, no matter what it cost him. And if Yelena tried to break that fragile peace, he’d deal with her when the time came. But for now, he’d stay right here, holding onto this one thing that finally felt real.

As he lay beside you, he repeated it in his mind like a vow: She will never know.

Friday.  

The mission briefing room pulsed with red lights and bright screens, though everyone else seemed blind to it. 

Maybe you just weren’t used to it yet.

Around you, the team was busy with logistics, preoccupied with tactical details, terrain-view maps, and contingency plans. 

You felt Bucky shift beside you. He was always a watchful presence beside you, like a human shield. Across the table sat Sam, Clint, and Yelena, their expressions locked in concentration. Bucky, however, had hardly looked up. His gaze remained trained on the table, his fist clenched in a way that made the way that made your heart flip.

Sam lifted his eyes to meet yours. “You’re ready for this,” he said, his tone firm. “Your specialisation on ancient artefacts makes you the only one who can get close enough without setting off every alarm in the place.” He gestured to the screen, where a high-definition image of a weapon gleamed with an eerie allure—a golden blade encrusted in cryptic symbols, the metal gleaming as if alive, exuding a faint glow that seemed neither earthly nor entirely comprehensible to the human mind.

“Our intel says it’s magical,” Sam continued— he had consulted with Strange, and he didn't even seem too sure. “Or at the very least, powerful enough to be a real threat if it falls into the wrong hands. We need you to get in there, identify it, and secure it before anyone else does. Clint and Yelena will be on backup. They’ll be ready to extract you the second something goes wrong.”

You nodded, feeling the familiar buzz of adrenaline flooding your veins— one you couldn't tie to a memory. This was the kind of mission you’d trained for, the kind that made you a candidate for the Avengers in the first place.

Then you felt it—a small but telling movement. Bucky’s hand had moved, his fingers curling tighter into a fist, the hum of machine coiling around his metal arm. A worry flashed in the back of his eyes that held the barely-contained force of a storm. His eyes were locked on the photograph of the weapon, his entire body straightening as if bracing against a blow.

He finally spoke. “No.”

The single word shattered the room. The others fell silent, every gaze snapping toward him, the low hum of conversation extinguished as if a candle had been snuffed out. His tone was final. 

You blinked, thrown off by the bluntness he exuded.

What?

The single word spiked confusion, breaking through your focus. Bucky was rarely vocal when he was around the entire team— but  he was never like this. His expression was hard now, carved with an intensity that seemed almost primal, as though he could see the danger you’d face from a mile away.

Sam’s brows drew together. “What?” he started, his voice calm but tinged with caution. He had the terrain intel for you, every dip of the landscape, But Bucky’s objection was a territory none of them had mapped.

As you looked up, Bucky’s eyes were fixed on you now, as if he were silently urging you to see what he did—to feel the risk that he alone seemed to sense.

His jaw clenched so tight it looked like he might crack a tooth. When he finally met Sam’s demanding stare, there was a flicker of vulnerability, an urgency that softened his hard edges. 

“She’s not ready,” he said, in a rumble so low that a chill ran down your spine. “We haven’t covered everything yet. There’s more we need to work through.”

Clint leaned forward. The look on his face was half a challenge, half a curiosity. “Bucky, you were the first to tell us she’s ahead of schedule. Hand-to-hand, stealth—you said it yourself, she’s exceeded every target.” His voice was level, but a hint of irritation crept up his throat.

Sure, Clint might not have as much of a … hands on approach as Bucky did, but he oversaw your training, too.

And he knew you were ready,

Bucky shook his head. It was his human hand that flexed into a fist this time, the knuckles turning white. 

“I want more time,” he muttered, more to himself than to anyone else. “The mission should be postponed. That’s all I’m asking.”

Bucky radiator of the fear he was struggling to mask. 

“I trust your judgement, Bucky,” Sam’s arms crossed over his chest, his brow furrowing. "But she’s proven that she’s capable. She’s kicking my sorry ass week in week out and you know she’s ready.”

“I just want more time,” He repeated in a rasp, his eyes darkening. 

Time. 

That was all he wanted. 

All he ever wanted with you.

More time, to fix every weak spot, to be sure you were shielded against every possible threat. More time to prepare you for the dangers you couldn’t yet see. More time to hold you in his arms before anything— this mission or Yelena— took you away from him.

But time was slipping away. 

Sam looked over at you, assessing, maybe even waiting to see what you thought. You’d been eerily quiet, a mixture of awe and nerves keeping you planted to your chair. This was your first mission briefing after getting back into training, after all. You hadn’t learned the cadence of these discussions yet, hadn’t learned the proper flow of conversation.

“One week wouldn't hurt,” you murmured, your voice steady, though a knot twisted in your chest. 

Bucky’s breath hitched as the words one week left your lips, echoing in his mind like a warning. The phrase cut through him, pulling him back to Yelena’s voice, low and sharp as she’d said it to him just days before: One week, Barnes. You have one week to tell her everything or I will.

He glanced across the table, his eyes landing on Yelena. Her stare was unrelenting, almost predatory. The corners of her mouth quivered in a faint, insincere smile, and her eyes locked onto his with a dark promise, a reminder of the ultimatum she had made—an ultimatum that only had two days left on the clock.

Bucky felt a dread gnawing at him, knowing that both clocks were now ticking down faster than he could stop it.

Sam glanced between the two of you. This time. His eyes were kinder, more understanding.

“Fine,” he conceded. “But only for a week. After that…” He gave a smile that reassured your confidence. “It’s yours.”

Relief surged through Bucky, though he buried it beneath a mask of calm indifference.

As the meeting wrapped up, everyone began to leave the room. As you stood to leave, you caught a look from Yelena, her face shadowed by a faint trace of sadness. She lingered by the door, though she said nothing. 

You looked down, an unexpected pang of guilt tugging at your heartstrings. You assumed that Yelena was disappointed in you, in delaying the mission.

You hadn’t meant to slow anyone down. You had trained relentlessly, preparing for a moment like this, but Bucky’s resistance had meant something to you. 

You had grown to trust him more than anyone in your fragile existence. If he said no, he must’ve had a reason.

—

When you were finally alone with Bucky back at your apartment, a tension thrummed between you. You turned to him, crossing your arms, unable to hold back the frustration and confusion threatening to bubble over. 

“I was ready for that mission,” you said. “I am ready.”

He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. You could see the struggle in his eyes, a potion of protectiveness and love. “It’s… not that simple,” he replied reluctantly. His cheek ones flexed, and for a moment, he looked at you with a vulnerability that made you weak.

“Not that simple?” you echoed, pressing an explanation out of him. “I agreed to a week because you were worried, not because I thought I wasn’t ready. You’re always so… protective, but I need you to trust me.”

He nodded, his human hand reaching out to touch your arm, comforting himself through the contact. His thumb traced gentle circles. “I do,” He hesitated, the admission heavy on his tongue. “I need you here. Just… a little longer.”

The honesty in his words softened your frustration. His hand tightened on you, his voice dropping to a raw, vulnerable whisper. “I can’t lose you. Not again.”

The words hit you hard, and for a moment, you stood there and shared his worries. You lifted a hand to his cheek, feeling the roughness of stubble under your fingers, his eyes flickering closed.

“Bucky,” you whispered, gently pulling him closer. Your arms slid around his neck, and you felt him relax almost instantly. A quiet sigh slipped from his lips as you ran your fingers through his hair.

“I’m here,” you murmured, your voice soft as your lips brushed over his cheek. “But sooner or later, you’ll have to let go.”

Bucky’s metal arm slid around your waist, his forehead pressing gently against yours. He held you like he was memorising every detail, the sound of every breath you took. 

Then his mouth found yours in a kiss that carried everything he couldn’t put into words. His hands moved up your back, tracing slow, warm circles that left a trail of heat along your spine. You felt his fingers graze your skin, slipping beneath the hem of your shirt, his touch sending shivers through you as he pulled you closer, pressing you against the marble counter.

Each kiss, each touch, was a confession, an apology, a plea. Still, you felt the distance he kept, a part of himself he still couldn’t share.

When he finally pulled back, his forehead rested on yours. His breaths were uneven, his gaze heavy-lidded with something that looked awfully a lot like grief. 

“I will,” he promised, his voice growing thin. “I just need more time.”

You nodded, brushing your thumb along his cheek, meeting his gaze with warmth, understanding. “One week,” you whispered back, a soft smile lifting your lips. You leaned in, kissing him again, your touch lingering, giving him the reassurance he so desperately needed

When you said it, your voice was soft, filled with warmth and reassurance. But in his mind, the words twisted, dragging him back to the way Yelena had said them—sharp and unforgiving.

One week.

Your tone was gentle, a promise. Hers had been relentless and ruthless, a threat. He couldn’t shake it, the way she had cut into him, a grim countdown echoing in his mind no matter how hard he tried to focus on you.

You sighed, breathing in his scent, wondering what he was thinking about.

Could you really blame him? Of course he cared. Of course he was worried. 

The last time you’d been sent on a mission, you came back with four years of your life wiped clean, whole chapters of memory erased like pages torn from a book. 

You didn't voice it, but you often found yourself wondering about those lost fragments of your life, the memories that had slipped through your fingers. What were they? Who have you been? 

Bucky had never given you straight answers. All he ever said was that before all this, he was your friend. But there was something in his eyes that suggested more. 

You wondered sometimes,  if the two of you had been more than friends before… Had you been lovers, too, the way you were now?

It was easy to imagine it, the way his body curved so naturally onto yours.

But he wouldn’t tell you, and his reluctance left you with an aching sense of being incomplete. 

Sometimes you wondered if losing all that time hurt him more than it hurt you.

Maybe the thought of reliving them, of watching you live without the memories you both carefully curated together, hurt him too much. 

And even if Bucky were to tell you everything—the names of places you’d been, the details of nights spent together, the whispers you might have shared—it would still be just that: information. Facts without feelings. 

No context behind what you did and why you did it. 

In that moment, his body leaned into yours as if he could delay time, press pause, keep the world at bay for just a little longer. 

But deep down, he knew this was temporary. 

He knew Yelena wouldn’t wait forever. Two days, maybe less, and everything he feared would come crashing in.

Even if he managed to talk her out of it, he had a week until you had to go on the mission.

—

Later that night, Bucky sat in the dim glow of his phone, eyes fixed on the unsent message he’d typed to Yelena.  

Can we talk?

He was planning to convince her, to beg her if he had to, anything to stop her from telling you the truth. At the very least, he wanted her to hold off for a little longer.

He had an excuse now—the mission. The argument was already forming in his head. “She’s going on a mission in a week,” he’d tell her. “Do you really want her distracted by all of this?” 

It was a flimsy shield to hide behind, but maybe it would buy him time. Maybe he could just keep buying time.

Because for you, he’d pay anything.

With a weary sigh, he deleted the message. 

Tomorrow, he thought, I’ll talk to Yelena in person, face to face. Maybe if she saw how much this meant to him, she’d hold her silence a little longer. Maybe she’d understand.

But as Bucky’s screen went dark, your phone buzzed in the other room.

You glanced down at your phone, surprised to see a message from Happy:

Hey! Had my assistant compile all the security footage of you from the last three years at the compound. You’re welcome to come by and watch it whenever you’re ready.

-to be continued…

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[lazy-sixteen]

Daniil why would you say that???

Watching Pathologic (classic HD) while on break from suffering in Pathologic 2, and it really struck me how different the first meeting with the Bachelor was in each game.

Pathologic 1, well, only a screenshot can do it justice,

(Yes . . . far be it from me to call myself a person of mystical inclinations. However, when I look at you, I get the feeling that nature is playing jokes on us. It is as if both the left and right hand have clutched the head to realize for the first time they are two parts of a single whole.

>Why?

>I get that feeling too. Does that mean that we are alike?)

That's like the first thing he says to the Haruspex, and while yeah everybody in Pathologic talks like that to a degree, even in game, in character that's a wild thing for Dankovsky specifically to say.

We just spent an entire playthrough as this guy mocking and/or having breakdowns over the existence of the supernatural - especially precognition. And in strolls this 6'2 resting murder-face dude with half-a-medical degree, widely thought to be a serial killer (kinda true), and Dankovsky's like,

"BTW, my heart is telling me we're kinda two halves of the same whole.😊❤️"

Absolutely hilarious. Even funnier is that the Haruspex, grumpy at baseline and currently having the worst day of his life (so far), can agree with him. Great first impression all around!

Then over in Pathologic 2, the Bachelor is high-key fumbling, like fumbling so hard you can get an achievement for it.

Carpetbagger - Remind a colleague of the Hippocratic Oath -- and fail

Not to meme on the guy (who is of course, multi-faceted and at his core deeply altruistic even if he often seems to have trouble expressing that on an individual basis), but initial Pathologic 2 Bachelorencounter is Daniel at his most prickly prick.

He gets Artemy's name wrong (possibly on purpose and definitely twice),

condescendingly demands the Haruspex be his errand boy,

basically calls himself the smartest person in a room of 2,

and can accidentally imply that he left a couple of orphan children to die because he doesn't treat mutts (he actually refused to treat the orphans' dogs).

Yikes - no wonder Artmey spends the first couple of Days taking cheap shots at the guy.

I mean in both Haruspex routes eventually he ends up very friendly with the Bachelor, which makes senses on a thematic level given the some of the Haruspex's major themes/ideals are connection and community. You could say their first meeting was changed to be funnier ("Vorakh") or more in character for the expected tension between two people under a lot of stress who can both be difficult to get along with at baseline

However, what about if we look at it from a meta-narrative level?

While you can play Pathologic 1 as either the Bachelor or the Haruspex on your initial run, it's pretty common knowledge who you are supposed to play first.

"Daniil Danokovsky's Fun Steppe Vacation was just the tutorial for Artemy Burakh's Tormentous Nightmare" - HBomberguy in Pathologic is Genius and Here's Why

This means that the player in Pathologic 1 has already been introduced to Daniil - even if Artmey hasn't - and the game reflects that! You the player know the Bachelor, you've been him, and you probably got really attached after keeping him alive for 12 horrible, horrible days.

Even though you know he can be a bit sanctimonious and dismissive, the player knows he's rational and compassionate and thus already used the evidence at hand to figure out Artemy hasn't killed anybody!

Of course one of the first things you (the player) would want to do as the new protagonist is check on your former avatar, and the game rewards you for it! Talking with the Bachelor on Day 1 as Artemy can raise your reputation - which is super critical. It might be the increase that keeps you from getting hunted in the streets or starving as shops refuse to sell food. What a great first (Second?) impression!!

Daniil's unprompted "hey are we soulmates or is it just me?" line is funny, but meta-narratively it is also true. They are the player's first two avatars, taking turns being puppeted by the same you as protagonists through the same overall story to two opposing conclusions. They are (your) right and left hand. You've played Dankovsky, (you) know this and having previously been the protagonist this new Dankovsky seems to subliminally know this too.

Meanwhile over in Pathologic 2, the only route is the Haruspex - disregarding the Marble Nest (worst day of Dankovsky's life [so far, ad infintuum]) which has enough time fuckery going on that I shall disregard it for this analysis - you can only be Artemy Burakh.

Either under the assumption that the player of Pathologic 2 hasn't played Pathologic 1 or that they've played all of Pathologic 1 including Changeling' Route's extended murder hide and seek between Dankovsky and Burakh, We (the player and Artemy) don't know Daniil when we meet him in Pathologic 2 as anything but the broken man we saw in the depressing into.

Is he our friend this time? Is he our enemy? Whatever he is, he's certainly a sanctimonious prick.

(Today's tragedy won't be the last. I was blessed with a naturally high intelligence, and my observations indicate that a very deadly visitor has come to this god-forsaken town. That's all I can say for now.

>...I don't like you, Bachelor Whatever.)

In Pathologic 2, both the player and Artmey meet Daniil Dankovsky at at his worst, and slowly work-up from there because both of us are meeting, getting to know, and building a relationship with him for the first time.

This is actually parallel to how you first meet the Haruspex in Pathologic 1 as the Bachelor!

If you are playing in the intended order, both the player and Daniil don't know anything about Artmey besides the serial killer rumors, and likewise you meet him at his worst - (in prison and later he murders a young woman to get Daniil the infected heart he needs to try and develop a vaccine). Much like we see the worst of Daniil's classism, arrogance, and inability to connect beyond quid pro quo (hehe, latin) in our Patho2 intro; in Patho1 we initially only see Artemy's standoffishness, brutality, and stubbornness.

Interestingly, following Daniil's themes/ideals of transcendence and rationality we (the player and Daniil) don't actually end up connecting much with Artmey on the Bachelor's route. The player is influenced by the puppet, and why would Dr. Daniil Dankovsky - whose route is plagued by betrayal, manipulation, and the difficulty of connecting to even people who do selflessly care for him (like Eva) - make friends with a violent, possibly dangerous guy who practices a sort of medicine Dankovsky doesn't believe in?

(I couldn't find a good screenshot for this, but mentally insert a picture of Artemy doing a roadside dissection)

Basically if Daniil is the player's protagonist he won't reach out, because in-character why would he?

If Artemy is the player's protagonist, Daniil will try to be friends in Patho1 (because of the player's previous actions affecting both avatars) or in Patho2 Artmey will eventually connect with him because that's in-character for him.

Overall, I suppose this means that Danii's instant and uncharacteristic buddy-buddy attitude with Artemy on the Haruspex route Patho1 is completely justified from a meta-textually narrative, as is his horrific fumbling in Patho2.

And it is also very, very funny.

[burningcheese-merchant]

Yes,more please!

More Yandere Beast stuff? At your service, three short headcanons for each one

SHADOW MILK

Has one specific Pure Vanilla puppet that he treasures and never brings any harm to. It's the most well-crafted and detailed one of all. He calls it his Mini Silly-Vanilly and he makes it and the puppet he also made of himself kiss and do NSFW things

Tries to be A Bro™️ and help his fellow yanderes win over their respective loves. He eggs them on when they feel like ranting and raving about their love lives (or maybe he just likes gossip and drama idk), helps mastermind courting plans, gives romantic advice of dubious quality, solicited and not (mostly not). His help gets mixed reactions. Tough crowd :/

Already planned their wedding way in advance, but keeps making changes because he's always hit with new inspiration (making them playfully chase each other all the way up the stairs of the Spire of Truth and Deceit, and publicly executing their enemies in increasingly ridiculous ways are staying put, though)

ETERNAL SUGAR

Got Shadow Milk to make her a Hollyberry body pillow. It's nice, but she ended up tired of it really quickly. She wants the real Hollyberry to snuggle and squeeze and use as a pillow. (She still uses the body pillow though)

Would very much like to steal Holly's dresses and wear them herself, even if they might not fit. Would also like a lock or two of her hair to put in a necklace, or make into a bracelet, or weave into the strings of her harp (wtf lol)

Has mastered dozens of love songs on her harp, both written and composed by others and by she herself, all to be played and sung to Holly. A significant portion of them are very dark and unsettling, but she either doesn't notice or doesn't care

MYSTIC FLOUR

Once thought of the concept of playing "strip Go" (like strip poker, just with Go) with Dark Cacao. No one has ever seen her turn so red before. She immediately barricaded herself in her room and did not come out for almost a whole week

Keeps replaying that moment where he was beaten and on his knees and she was caressing his cheek, tempting him to look up and into her eyes, in her mind over and over and over and over and over and over again. It has practically tattooed itself to the insides of her eyelids. She can't make it stop nor does she want to

Ends up wandering along the exact same path through the mountains that Cacao took while he was lost and alone whenever she leaves the Ivory Pagoda. Some deranged part of her insists that she might find him again if she keeps looking, and the other, equally deranged parts of her seem to agree...

BURNING SPICE

Absolutely fucking loses his shit if and when any of the Wild Spices speak ill of Golden Cheese at all. He can roast her all he wants, but the second anyone else tries, he 180s to "KEEP MY WIFE'S NAME OUT YO FUCKIN MOUTH" mode

Is so out of his goddamn mind that he's already attuned himself to both Golden's aura and her scent, so he can literally track her and hunt her down like a ravenous animal no matter where she goes. He is a predator in the truest sense of the word

Also often fantasizes about marrying Golden, like how Milk wants to marry Vanilla. But what he thinks the most about is the wedding night... and the night after that, too. And the night after that. Every night is going to be their wedding night, once he gets his hands on her... Every single fucking night

SILENT SALT

Keeps trying to write White Lily letters and poems detailing his feelings. They keep coming out wrong (aka they are extremely long and rambling, not to mention fucking weird and creepy), so he keeps throwing them away and starting over repeatedly

Has considered learning magic to impress Lily, but can't get the hang of it. (Has also tried to brew a love potion for her, but can't get the hang of that, either)

He never takes that helmet off, but his stare is nevertheless so damn pointed and downright oppressive that Lily can sense whenever he's watching her, even if he's dozens of feet away and she can't even spot where he is. He comes out when she asks him to, at least...

[lets-play-our-game]

Old Spidey, New City

I just came to my senses

Peter looked around groggily, taking in his surroundings. He was laying supine on a flat rooftop, several other building towering over him, the sight of huge digital billboards flashing brightly, incomprehensively, around him..

He had hit the ground, - Roof? - hard, and while the city around him was blindingly bright, he was sure it had been daylight he had seen before passing out. Either way, it was a dark sky that shone above him now, with just as many stars as he was use to (which was close to none on a good night)

In fact, he wasn’t even sure the spell had worked, it still looked like his city, but Strange wouldn’t have left him unconscious on a rooftop. They were both assholes, but not that kind. Not “cast a spell but fuck off before the other person realised it didn’t work” kind of asshole. Peter certainly wouldn’t have hurt him if it hadn’t, Strange had been upfront about the chances.

Must have worked then.

I live in another dimension

Fuck! It worked.

At least, the jump did. Time and research would show if this was the right universe. Had to make sure there wasn’t already a Peter Parker in this one, that mutants existed and he wouldn’t be dissected the first chance the government got, that superhero was still a job he could avoid signing up for..

Regardless, he was out of the old one, and his family would be safe.

Just, without him.

Peter stood and released a deep breath.

Fear is nonexistent

There was nothing he could do now, just hope the doctor could carry out the rest of the plan. He’d done his part.

Peter pulled his mask down over his face, whatever emotions he was showing gone from view, grabbed his small pack from where it had landed, and stepped to the edge of the roof.

*thwip*

Suit up and swing through the city

He swung high, avoiding lit windows and people out of their balconies. He was tired. So, bone dead tired and a fight was the last thing he was itching for. He knew a few good spots to crash in his old city, but who knew if they existed here.

As spiderman swung, he slowly became aware of the differences between the two cities. The ads were different for one, and what few brands recognised seemed to have picked different colours. Coke-a-cola had radioactive-orange packaging. He was not looking forward to a neon christmas, if that was a thing here.

Police lights were still red and blue, but the siren was different. That was hardly a surprise.

The biggest difference, and he almost fell out of the sky when he finally noticed it, was all the cars drove on the wrong side of the road.

“What the fuck..” He perched on the side of a building and watched the traffic, letting his camo take hold and blending in with the concrete he gripped to.

He shook himself free after a few minutes and swung on.

He was so fucking tired.

Annihilate, I’m wide awake Be very afraid

He found a rooftop that even in this universe didn’t have stairwell access, internal or external, which was perfect. He threw down his small bag, which contained little more than a change of civilian clothes, a few snack bars and a one or two mementos, onto the dirty concrete.

I’m in my own world give me space

Exhausted, he lay down, the bag as a make-shift pillow, and stared up at the sky, letting the noises of his new city, his new life, surround him.

Tomorrow, he might go looking for a better bed, food, a job maybe, hopefully a shower

Tonight - he just needed to get some fucking sleep.

I’m in my own universe give me space..

[fatgirlonadate-blog]

21 Days - Day 15

Something inside of Xavier has shifted. You can’t quite define it or give it a name, but you can sense it, see it in every glance and feel it in every touch. He is not the same man he was yesterday.

What a difference a day can make.

The change isn't anything obvious—most things haven't changed at all. He is as shy and sweet and earnest as he has always been. He still blushes when you touch him, he still pouts when you tease him, and he is still playful and warm.

But the shadow behind his eyes, the hint of sadness in his smile, is disappearing. There is a growing certainty in him that was not there before, as if he has made a choice -some choice- and it has freed him in a way that seems to extend beyond just his secrets.

It's absurd, but you can't shake the thought that he chose you yesterday—that, somehow, you were always a choice he had to make. You don’t even know what the alternative might have been, but now, when he looks at you, the affection in his eyes feels complete, as if it’s here to stay.

Maybe his fevered promise not to leave again was truly meant for you after all. But that only raises more questions—had he been planning to leave you? And when did he leave the first time?

If you were the choice, then what was the other option?

He has remained tight lipped about this particular detail - unwilling to share any part of it. Other small secrets about his past have trickled out in fragments over the past 24 hours—never fully explained and always a little vague, but still unmistakably genuine. He’s trying to open up, and you’re trying your best not to push him. The rest will come later, you tell yourself.

In the meantime, you have a much more immediate issue to deal with.

There is no other way to put it - Xavier has become adorably, maddeningly clingy. He hasn’t let you stray more than an arm’s length since yesterday, and if he weren't so infuriatingly old fashioned, you're pretty sure he'd have slept with his cock buried deep inside you last night. Instead, he’d settled for holding you close, your back pressed firmly to his chest, with his hand resting possessively between your thighs.

It’s not exactly a bad thing; in fact, you love him even more like this. Every time he teleports to your side instead of walking, you can’t help but laugh, as if the seconds saved are simply too precious for him to waste. You marvel at the confidence in his touch now, the way he explored your body this morning like he owns it. And you fall even deeper for him every time he willingly gives you some crumb of information about who he really is.

You're savoring every moment with him and wish you could pause time and stay like this, just the two of you, forever. But you have a plan today - one that he cannot be a part of because it would spoil the surprise.

"Xavier," You whisper, trying to pull away from his insistent kisses, "I really do have to go soon. I have to check in with Jenna. In person this time. You know how she feels about being kept waiting."

Xavier acts as if he didn’t hear you, keeping you pinned firmly against the front door. His lips find a sensitive spot on your neck, biting gently before soothing it with a warm flick of his tongue. By now, he’s already delayed you at least ten minutes with those distracting, lingering kisses—reminders of just how skilled he is with his mouth.

"Xavier," you say more firmly.

He huffs as he pulls back just far enough for his blue eyes to lock onto yours, and the pout in them is nearly enough to break you.

"Why are you calling me that?" He asks, his forehead dropping to yours as he holds you to him, his nose rubbing against yours.

"What?"

"You usually call me Xav now. Or bunny."

A soft laugh escapes your lips at his confused, slightly pouty tone. "Xavier… Xav, I really need to—"

"But...," He protests, ducking his head to nuzzle his face in the crook of your neck again. "Let's go together. We're partners. I go where you go."

"It's supposed to be 24-hour surveillance, Xav. You know we both can't go. We already agreed on this yesterday."

"Yesterday was yesterday. Can't we make a new agreement today?"

The whine in his voice is killing you, but you really do want to surprise him. This birthday needs to be special; he deserves to feel special.

"Not this time, Xav."

Xavier's mouth trails down to your neck, each kiss sending a spark through you as his hands tighten around your waist, pulling you firmly against him. You have to bite your bottom lip to keep from moaning as you feel the insistent press of his hardness against you, even through the layers of clothing.

"Are you sure you don’t want to reconsider?" he murmurs, his voice a low, promising whisper.

His mouth is pure temptation against your skin, making it hard to remember why you need to leave. But there will be time for this later—hopefully endless time, forever, if you have anything to say about it.

"Bunny, please." You breathe out, threading your fingers through his hair to gently tug his greedy lips away from your skin. "I have to get going. I'm going to be late."

Xavier pulls back and fixes you with the saddest puppy dog eyes that have ever existed. "I can't believe you'd actually...leave me alone in this house."

"I'll make it up to you when I get home, I promise. And I won't be gone long."

Xavier sighs and nods as his arms tighten around your waist. He lets out a defeated groan, and mumbles, "How long?"

"It's just a few hours. I'll be back before you know it." You smile gently at the boyish sulk that has spread across his face as he continues to mope and press small kisses along your jaw.

Finally he gives in and lets out a heavy sigh that fans out along your skin. “Alright,” he grumbles, releasing his hold on your waist and taking a step back.

The small bit of distance clears your head just enough, and you shake it slightly, trying to dispel the lingering desire coursing through you. God, this man has you so wrapped around his finger that you can barely think straight.

You flash him a quick smile and turn to open the door, but pause, throwing him a puzzled look as he moves to follow you.

"Xav, you know you can’t come with me, right?" you say, a mix of amusement and exasperation in your voice.

He nods, pulling the door open and gesturing for you to go ahead, slipping an arm around your waist as he guides you through. "I know," he says with a grin. "I’m just escorting you to the station. I’m allowed to do that, aren’t I?"

It’s hard to believe that the man who used to vanish for days, even though he was just next door, now can’t imagine being apart from you for more than a few hours. It’s a clinginess you’re not used to—not from him, not from anyone—but oddly, it doesn’t bother you. There’s something deeply comforting about being wanted this much, and you can’t help but hope it never changes.

"I’ll miss you," you say, rising on your tiptoes to press a kiss to Xavier’s cheek as your train pulls into the station. "And try not to blow up the house while I’m gone, alright?"

He looks like he wants to argue, his hand tightening around yours, but then his eyes soften, and he gives you a gentle smile, slipping into his practiced, fake-husband role. “Come back soon, Mrs. Shen. Stay safe.”

He’s an exceptionally good fake husband. So convincing, in fact, that the word itself—fake—irritates you as it echoes in your mind on the train ride into the city. Your marriage to him is fake, yet with each passing day, it feels more real. The thought of it ending… It's almost unthinkable.

As soon as you step off the train and into the city, your plan for the day begins to unravel. The check-in with Jenna is mercifully brief, but her urgency to wrap up this mission leaves you tense and uneasy as you navigate sidewalks that are already too slick for comfort.

Snow in October is a rarity in Linkon, but here it is—thick, heavy flakes falling from the sky, dusting the sidewalks in a thin layer of white. It’s beautiful, but bitterly cold, and you're not dressed nearly warm enough for it.

You shiver as you wander from shop to shop, collecting things for Xavier’s birthday. A surprise party had crossed your mind, but inviting a bunch of fellow hunters to your covert mission apartment didn’t exactly scream discreet. So instead, you’ve opted for something simpler—something you hope he’ll love, even if it has the potential to set the place on fire.

But if it makes him happy? It just might be worth the risk.

The cake ingredients were easy enough to acquire, but the decorations were trickier, the items scattered throughout the city, rather than all together in one single shop. By the time you finish collecting everything for the perfect birthday cake, you're freezing and damp with snow. 

The warmth of the nearby cafe and the promise of something sweet was impossible to resist, and you sigh with relief as you dump your shopping bags onto a table and strip off your cold, damp jacket. A steaming cup of hot chocolate and three macarons later, your phone buzzes in your purse. You dig through the clutter of your wallet and keys to find your phone. It vibrates in your hand again as you pick it up and the screen glows with a notification:

(4) Voice Messages from Xavier

Xavier: Is it snowing there?

Xavier: We ran out of vinegar. Can you get some on your way home?

Xavier: Are you on your way back yet?

Xavier: Are you talking to someone outside right now?

You try not to smile at your phone like an idiot, but you fail as warmth floods through you at the sound of his voice. It’s amazing how a handful of words can make you feel so secure. There's something foreign but comforting about having someone care for you like this - someone waiting for you to get home. It's been a long time since you've had such a simple luxury, and you hadn't realized how much you've missed it.

You: I have to stop and pick up a few more things. But I'll be home soon.

Xavier: What do you want for dinner?

You're contemplating the least disastrous option as footsteps approach your table, and you glance up just in time to see a familiar face.

"Fancy meeting you here, miss bodyguard. There are easier ways to find me, you know. You don't have to stalk me." Rafayel smirks.

He slides into the chair across from you, meeting your wide-eyed gaze as he casually plucks a green macaron from your plate and takes a bite.

Has he always looked like that? you wonder as he flashes you a playful, disarming smile.

Seeing Rafayel is like looking at a masterpiece—he’s almost too perfect, so striking it’s hard to believe he’s real. You thought you’d grown used to his looks ages ago, that you had built up a certain immunity to it. But a few weeks apart have undone that, leaving you vulnerable to his effortless charm again.

Xavier is undeniably handsome, but Rafayel—even dressed simply in a sweater and dark pants—is goddamned majestic.

"Raf! Hey! Uh, what...what are you doing here?" You manage, surprised.

He's wearing his signature look of lazy amusement. His inky purple hair is slightly damp from snow, and he runs a hand through it as he takes another bite of your dessert.

"What do you mean? I come here all of the time. Shouldn't I be asking you that question? You're supposed to be locked away somewhere trying to catch a bad guy, yeah?"

"Oh, shut up. I haven't been locked away; the mission is just taking a while. I came into town today for a mission update." You say, and wave toward your bags, "and some shopping."

His eyes flick toward your bags, narrowing on the pastel letters spelling 'Happy Birthday' across the card that's peeking out.

"Mission update, hm? Interesting," he drawls as he pops the remaining bit of macaron in his mouth. "I'm surprised you escaped your tower, your highness. You haven't really bothered to respond to my texts for the past week. I was starting to think you'd been captured or that you got possessed by Wanderers or something."

"Uh," you stammer, quickly sliding another bag over the one he's eyeing, shifting awkwardly in your chair. "Sorry about that. I’ve just been... really busy."

Though his tone is playful, there's a hint of hurt beneath it that tugs at your heart, just as it always does. He’d deny it until he was blue in the face, but you know he can’t stand feeling ignored—and it sucks to know you're the reason for it this time.

He shrugs and leans back, draping his arms across the back of his chair as he casually crosses an ankle over his knee. "Yeah, yeah, I know. Secret missions and saving the world and whatever. Same as always."

The tired sound of resignation in his voice makes your smile falter, and you can only guess at what's really going on behind those galaxy eyes of his.

After countless late-night phone calls, you used to wonder if there might be something real between you and Rafayel. He was a flirt—that much had been clear from the start—and you’d brushed off his advances, wary of reading too much into them. But sometimes, when it was just the two of you, when the flirting grew a little more heated or the light touches became bolder and hungrier, you were almost certain there was something more. That he felt it, too.

But he never took it further, and the moment would fade as if it had never happened at all.

It doesn’t matter now, you remind yourself, tearing your gaze away to stare out the window. The sky has darkened, snow falling steadily against the glass, and your train will be leaving soon. Whatever might have been between you is just a memory now—one you are scared to dwell on any longer.

"We'll catch up when my mission is over, okay?" You swear, rushing the words as you stand up and shove your jacket on, reaching for the bags on the floor. "I'll come over, you can tell me all about your newest exhibit, and we'll make fun of Thomas together. I pinky promise."

"What?" His eyes widen, and he quickly stands, reaching out to still your hand as you go for another bag. "You’re leaving already? You just got here."

"Raf—" You sigh, guilt gnawing at you for more than one reason. Xavier is waiting. "I really do have to go. My train leaves soon."

His grip tightens around your wrist, his warm hand almost scorching hot as he stares at you with a rare flash of desperation in his eyes. It makes him look vulnerable for just a fraction of a moment, and something inside you tightens, torn between the urge to ease the ache you've caused in him and the need to put distance between yourself and old feelings you’d rather not think about.

"Let me walk you to your stop then," he says, his tone light and easy, but he's still holding your hand prisoner. His suggestion isn’t really a suggestion—it’s more of a demand.

"Fine," You say, rolling your eyes dramatically even as a smile forces its way onto your face. "But make yourself useful. Help me carry this stuff."

Rafayel grins and lets go of your wrist, bending to scoop up most of the bags. "Jeez, these are pretty heavy. I better get some kind of awesome reward for all of this labor."

A chill wind and swirling snowflakes greet you as you step out of the café, making you mutter a curse under your breath. If you’d known it was going to snow, you’d have worn a real coat.

"I hate snow," you grumble as you fall into step beside him.

"What do you mean?" he grins, bumping your hip with his. "Snow is like magic. Look around!" 

He gestures to the snow-dusted trees and buildings blanketed in white. "Each flake is unique, perfect in its own way, turning everything ordinary into something miraculous, if only for a moment. And...it also looks really pretty in your hair."

His enthusiasm is infectious, and his words make you feel warm despite the chill wind cutting through the thin material of your jacket. Maybe you don’t actually hate snow after all.

The walk to the station goes by in a blur as you catch up on the last two weeks: gossiping neighbors, Thomas, how cold the city is this year, his new exhibition, your boring surveillance work—keeping it light and casual.

It almost feels like nothing has changed—the two of you chatting, him cracking jokes and teasing you to get a reaction, and the way your stomach flutters every time he brushes against you. He doesn’t do that by accident; you're sure of it.

A pang of longing hits as you realize just how much you’ve missed this. Despite how he gets under your skin like no one else, his friendship means more than you’d ever care to admit. 

Yes, he drives you crazy, and your feelings for him are confusing—but he’s always had this way of making the world seem brighter, lighter, and somehow more beautiful than you could ever see it on your own.

"It's so cold. I’m frozen solid," you declare, setting your bags down on the bench outside the train station. You’re about ten minutes early, and the air is only getting colder. Your fingers sting with the chill, and you blow on them in a vain attempt to warm up.

Rafayel sets the rest of the bags beside yours with a chuckle, shaking his head, "You're right, it is cold. Too cold for my delicate hands." He pouts, his brows knitting together as he exaggerates a shiver and opens his arms wide. “Hold me.”

"Raf..." You laugh, amused and exasperated.

"Come on, cutie. Don't you know how body heat works?" He quirks a brow, stepping toward you. "You wouldn't let me freeze to death, would you?"

His smile is dazzling, effortlessly charming, and completely irresistible—the kind that melts your resolve into a mushy mess. It’s the sort of smile that can't be refused.

You reluctantly return his smile, already mostly deaf to the alarm bells ringing in your ears, and step into his embrace. “Okay, okay. Just for a little while.”

Rafayel laughs, a warm sound rumbling through his chest as he wraps one arm tightly around you, pulling you close. With his other hand, he tucks a lock of hair behind your ear, his cold fingers brushing gently over your cheek and neck. The sharp, clean scent of him—citrus and sea salt—fills your senses as you lean into him, soaking in his warmth.

The alarm in the back of your mind grows louder, more frantic, the closer you get. Yet the soft thrum of his heartbeat, syncing with yours, drowns it out, and the warmth of his breath against your skin is enough to silence the knot of warning you feel in your stomach. The familiar scent that clings to him wraps around you like a shield, blocking out even the smallest of doubts.

"Hold still," he says softly, his fingers threading through your hair as he gently combs it out. "You've got snowflakes in your hair."

A sarcastic remark hovers on the tip of your tongue—of course you have snowflakes in your hair, he does too, it's snowing—but the warmth in his eyes as he strokes your hair holds you silent. His fingers are gentle as he carefully smooths your hair back even as more snowflakes continue to fall, and he leans even closer to see his task clearly in the dim evening light.

Your cheeks flush as he moves closer, leaning into you, and a familiar warmth builds inside of you, making it hard to breathe evenly. You turn your head away from his hand, but he frowns and gently cups your cheek, tilting your face up to his.

"Hey," he scolds gently, "I'm not done. Don't move."

But his hand doesn’t return to your hair. Instead, he gently caresses your reddening cheek, a soft smile spreading across his face. "You're being pretty shy," he murmurs.

And you are. No sarcastic remarks or witty comebacks come to mind, not with the way he’s pressed against you, the softness of his touch on your cheek, and with his face so close to yours. The only sound you can make is a quiet hum that doesn't mean anything at all.

His eyes roam from your cheek to your ears and down to your neck, and he slides his hand along the same path. "Hmm. Your cheeks, and your ears, and even your neck...are all so cold. Do you want me to help warm you up?"

It’s not just warmth in his eyes anymore; it’s heat, and your stomach flips as he drops the tone of his voice to a low purr. The feel of his warm breath against the side of your neck makes your pulse quicken and your own breath catches in your throat.

"Is it working?" He whispers, his lips brushing against your skin as he speaks.

You nod, barely breathing, as the heat that has built inside of you threatens to ignite into a blaze, your body trembling as you press against him.

“What about here?” Rafayel asks, shifting to the other side of your neck. His warm breath caresses your cool skin before he nuzzles close, trailing slow, lingering kisses from your ear to your neck.

He’s never kissed you before; of that, you’re certain. Yet somehow, in this moment, it’s as if you’re reliving a memory. His warmth, his scent, his touch, the way his body presses against yours—it feels natural, achingly familiar, as if you’ve known it all along. You could lose yourself here, drown in the sensation, and never surface again.

You’re trembling, but not from the cold, as Rafayel pulls back, his hands gently cupping your face. “You’re so quiet,” he says, his voice laced with curiosity. “I haven't the slightest idea of what’s going on in that head of yours. Have my awesome heating skills truly rendered you speechless?”

All you can manage is a shaky laugh, more like a breathless gasp, unable to form a single coherent word as a wave of déjà vu hits you, overwhelming and intense.

"Looking at my bodyguard..." He pauses, a teasing smile tugging at his lips. "I can't tell if she's happy right now..." Leaning in, he brushes a soft kiss against the corner of your lips, then locks eyes with you. "Or maybe she's not?"

You stare, wide-eyed, unable to break free from the grip of the dizzying familiarity of this all— frozen in place by how deeply, unexplainably right it all feels.

"Raf, I..." You trail off, lost for words, unsure of what you're trying to express, but knowing you have to say something. Anything. That you can't do this with him, or that you need more of him. Or that, sometimes, two things can be true.

Before you can untangle your thoughts or find the words to express your conflicted feelings, he silences you with a kiss. It’s gentle at first, tentative—his lips brushing softly against yours. Then the kiss deepens, his mouth pressing to yours with an intensity that feels raw, as if the longing comes from the depths of his soul.

You’re drowning now, clinging to him as if he’s your anchor amid the waves of emotion and memory crashing over you. For a moment, time and space collapse, and it feels like this has always been your life, as if this is just one second in a lifetime spent with him like this.

But the brush of his tongue against yours snaps you back to reality, and you tense in his arms, your hand moving to the back of his neck to gently pull him away.

"What?" he whispers, breaking the kiss as he rests his forehead against yours. "Do you want me to stop?"

His voice sounds so tender and hopeful that it breaks your heart a little, and your stomach twists with guilt as you lean away from his embrace.

In another life, you’d beg him to keep going. In another universe, you’d be his completely—mind, body, and soul. You can feel the way his heart calls your name.

But not this life; not in this universe. In all of the world, there is only one call your heart answers to, and it is Xavier's.

“Raf,” you whisper, your voice soft and aching, “I’m so sorry, but—”

"I know what you're going to say," Raf cuts you off before you even finish, hurt replacing the warmth in his eyes, "Sooo you don't have to say it."

He drops his hands from your face and steps back, and the cold wind that cuts through you is nothing compared to the burning ache flaring to life in your chest.

He runs a hand through his hair, shaking loose a few snowflakes, and lets out a bitter laugh. “I guess things with the ‘fake’ husband aren’t so fake anymore, yeah?”

"I love him," you admit, the words escaping before you can stop them, leaving you stunned. You’d never said it out loud before, never dared to voice what you felt. But now it’s out, and there's no taking it back.

Rafayel laughs again, a choked sound that gets stuck in his throat, and looks up at the sky as if searching for an answer there. After a moment, he groans softly before his eyes return to yours, "Oh, that intense, huh?"

You nod, silent, unwilling to say anything more for fear of deepening the hurt in his eyes. The few feet of space between you feel insurmountable, and you itch to close the distance, to reach out and comfort him somehow.

Rafayel sighs, his hand motioning toward the empty air, as if Xavier were standing here, too. "Is he... is he better than me?"

"No, Raf," You groan, the ache in your heart burning even brighter, "He's not better. It's just...different. I can't explain it."

Rafayel looks away again, his lips pressing together in a tight line, before turning back to you with an uncharacteristic seriousness in his eyes. "Just...promise you won't forget about me, okay?"

Tears sting your cheeks, and the hurt, desperate sound of his plea is all the proof you need to understand that a broken heart can keep breaking.

"Oh, Raf, I could never forget about you," you promise, stepping closer. You reach for his arm just as the train pulls into the station, the loudspeaker announcing its arrival.

"I won’t," you swear, ignoring the blaring sound. "Never."

He steps back from your outstretched fingers, and his voice and eyes harden as he replies, "You will. You always do."

The train stops, passengers streaming past, and you open your mouth, trying to reassure him—but no words come. A wave of uncertainty hits as his cryptic words echo in your mind, and you fail to make sense of them.

The option to reach for him, to pull him close and comfort him, is stolen from you as he turns around and starts walking back in the direction you came.

"Get on the train," he calls over his shoulder, "Don't keep Romeo waiting."

You hesitate, your fist clenching as your heart and mind fight for control. Watching him walk away feels like losing a part of yourself, though you can't quite understand why.

You board the train with tears in your eyes, and search through your purse for your phone. You send a quick message to Xavier to let him know you'll be there soon, and try to collect the pieces of your heart as the train speeds toward home.

Xavier chose you yesterday. And today, you chose him.

This star isn't going anywhere. 

[crystalizedcryolite]

While waiting for me to finally finish the next chapter..

DESIGN ANALYSIS FOR MY VIGILANTE AU >:D

As always, let's start in rainbow order! But first things first; all CG members have matching eyes, in one way or another! Red has yellow eyes, Orange has green eyes, Yellow has orange eyes, Green has blue eyes, and Blue has red eyes!! I might change things depending on how it looks, though.

Anyway, Red!!

I'll admit, I'm definitely giving him a design upgrade, but let's talk about this one.

Ah, the classic yellow bandanna. How could I leave it out? It's iconic!

His hair is definitely the wildest out of everyone's. A lot of black and grey in his design, too, which makes the yellow bits and the light-up shoes REALLY stand out.

The yellow matches his eyes and bandanna, and is reminiscent of that media trope with seeing yellow eyes peek from the darkness. The mask is, of course, to hide his face. Red didn't really seem like the guy to wear a visor like Green, or cover his entire face like Blue, so he gets that mask! Might change that, who knows.

His outfit looks thrown together with not that amount of effort. Very casual, as Green pointed out. Before Orange, he was the latest addition to the team, which can mean he can be a bit inexperienced. Wanted to convey that somehow!

Light-up shoes, oh, light-up shoes... who doesn't love them? Green certainly doesn't, but Red disagrees!

Next one!

Orange/Sketch

Now, I didn't draw their vigilante outfit yet, but I added the description of it to give an idea!

I wanted her hair to give a very anime-protagonist feel, if that made sense? Not sure if I got that right but it works for me! And hey! Freckles!

Working clothes: His pants are covered in paint to give an artist-like feel. (I should know. I paint a lot and some of my clothes did NOT survive the process.) As for the top and apron, I wanted it to feel like an actual café worker's uniform without it being a basic starbucks rip-off.

Vigilante outfit: VERY reminiscent of outfits animated characters would wear in scenes where they're doing some graffiti on the streets. That was my main inspiration behind the design.

Also in dark colors. They have to blend into the darkness and stuff!

The pouch mentioned was for practical sake; as is something I like to do when thinking of designs. And it helps with the artistic urge to draw at any time, regardless of what the situation is.

Not much to say about Orange's design, besides the fact that I wanted to give it a very protagonist-y vibe.

Yellow/Y

The second design is more or less his actual vigilante outfit, buuuut yeah!

Curly hair -despite my inability to draw it- and Yellow has been a favorite hc of mine!

His outfit is somewhat inspired by steampunk? Not exactly, but I DID have steampunk in mind while making it! The pilot's jacket was the best change yet.

Someone on a03 has told me that he looks like Alan, somehow! I'm not sure if I see it, so does anyone else see it? It would be a funny coincidence if so!

Green/Songbird

His hair is my favorite part of my Green design so I HAD to keep it! The classic headphones are there with a gamer-ish colour scheme.

VERY hip-hop and streetdance inspired! His visor is a reference to the sunglasses Orange gave him in the "More Faces" short, rather than his sunglasses in the Influencer Arc.

His clothes are a reference to the clothes I see my sister wear for her own dance training, and I love streetwear in general, so its a perfect fit! The necklace is just for show, though. Nothing practical about that, but it does look cool! Plus, it's a notion to his powers! His outfit is practical, but still shows off somehow, just like Green!

My vigilante!Green is the most experienced in the group, so I wanted him to look that way, somehow? And he definitely looks the most professional! I think!

Blue/The Witch

The second member to join the vigilante team!

I HAD to give her a hat. The witch's hat is a must. Practical? Not exactly. Cool? Yes, indeed.

The mask is my favorite part. A direct reference to the "Faces" short, AND a good way for Blue to, ahem, mask her identity (hehe a pun)

The sweater and coat combination seems strange, but it looks a little like a modern witch outfit? Trenchcoats definitely give a vigilante vibe in a way, and Yellow already had one, so Blue gets a belt and a sweater to go with it!

Blue definitely needed a bag for her potions. She can't just make them on the spot!- well, she can, but it would still be a hassle! She'd be the most practical when it comes to her clothing for vigilantism, after Yellow.

Purple/Aeolus!

Obviously, the cloak is a reference to elytra. The green hairtie, the bag and the cloak buckle is a reference to their mother, Orchid. You can see the vines on the bag strap, the flowers on the bag and buckle, and the leaf-shape on the hairtie.

There's also a lot of green on them, wink wink ;3

To hide their identity, they cover a majority of their face with the cloak hood!

It was hard to balance the colors, but I'm happy with the results! This one is simple compared to the others, but its still cool nonetheless!

Purple was meant to have ripped jeans but my drawing ability to low, so... sorry, Purple.

AAAAND THAT'S ALL! Sorry if this seemed boring or disappointing, or whatnot. I tried my best!

[justhereforsomethingnice]

Eldritch Danny thoughts

I want to delve deeper into the eldritch Danny because I fricking love the concept and you will never be able to change my mind.

What is the most eldritch our human minds can make up? How would people conceptualize an eldritch Danny and how would Danny’s mind evolve (I’m sure jazz has a field day with that one) to deal with the changes of his incomprehensible powers? I love to throw in space obsession and that the powers of ghosts evolve along with their obsession to suit their needs.

So will Danny take over the entire sky, with the entire world just looking into a biblically accurate angel, with teeth that could also be hands, or maybe eyes? You don’t know. Or will it be like a void with your brain tricking you into thinking that that should not be possible. There is a hole, a black hole, or maybe just a void, or is it just a black sheet of paper? You don’t know, your brain does not have the processing capacity needed nor the senses to truly conclude that.

Does reality shatter when he appears? Or does it just move out of the way when Danny appears? Does he just seem to have always been a part of that reality even though you’re also sure he wasn’t here a second ago?

Will the people get eldritch madness from looking at him by glimpsing into the mind and inner workings of a being that should never be available to the human mind? Do they forever leave a part of themselves behind or is Danny kind enough (naturally) to limit himself into the limits of human comprehension?

There is so much fun to be had with eldritch creatures and I absolutely love them! Just the thought of us being this insignificant part of the universe while others watch dispassionately like ecologists do to great tits and mice. Just like billionaires do to their underpaid workers. Watching, able to help, but to them, you’re nothing. They have the power to traverse universes where you are just one of many, a fun puzzle piece to hang up on the wall to maybe glance at once a year. Are you really real to them? Will Danny keep this humanity because of his past and upbringing? Will he just become dispassionate because well, he basically ascended?

[transient-winds]

HI YES HELLO I’M ALIVE and the yapping is back (it never left)!!

Just when the summer bbq is concluding. 🥹

Uhh looking back at this post, it’s highkey a sako character analysis post in disguise. Spoilers Ahead for Wind Breaker Chapters 160 & 161! (as promised with doodles)

This last panel with everyone toasting to each other feels like the end to the Summer BBQ event, at least to me. *shakes and wails off into the corner*

So many friendships being strengthened, healing/healed and being made in this one event is making my heart do somersaults. GAHHH!! I would’ve loved if we stayed in this wholesome moment a little longer if it is the last but oh well at least these recent two chapters have given me two things to brainrot about for a while. 🤧

Sako Kota and his relationships

Hooray!! We finally get to see the (much needed) closure of HiraSako’s *gestures wildly* everything, in that moment my spirit synced up with Inugami. 

I’m sure it doesn’t take a genius to point out Sako had an unhealthy dependency towards Hiragi from when they were kids up ‘til the Shishitoren arc. On the surface level, Sako’s reasons for getting back at him may seem very immature and they are but I also see where it stemmed from. Hiragi was essentially the first to take a chance on him when he was at his lowest and gave him a chance to better himself.   Hiragi to him was the pinnacle of strength and security, his guiding light (Chapter 15). He likely thought that even when things change, he would always be by his side because with him, he’s safe—with him, he’s strong. Stronger than he was before, someone who wouldn’t let bullies trample over him.

So when the latter told him he was following Ume and that he should follow his own path, which is normally very inspiring, Sako took it as abandonment. In his eyes, his pillar of strength was no longer holding up the weight of his (Hiragi’s) own roof but rather someone else’s (Umemiya’s’) and he was left in the ruins (dramatic ass analogy I know but it works).

“If Hiragi had been the source of his strength, then if he beats Hiragi that means he’s reclaiming that strength as his own right?” was what probably went through his head when he started picking fights and joined Shishitoren.

His reliance on Hiragi was still there but now it was twisted and he likely started hating himself for having been content with remaining a follower. If you asked my personal thoughts about this, I would say it was unfair. Not just for Hiragi bearing the weight of his unreasonable expectations, but also for Sako himself whose helplessness as a child manifested into the ugly beast that is emotional dependency. 

Deep down, he was still the same hurt child who couldn’t fight back against his bullies and needed someone to support him. When that support came and fell through, he thought defeating Hiragi was his way of proving to himself that he can stand on his own without relying on others. The point when things finally climaxed (aka the Hiragi vs Sako fight) was the moment when Sako had begun letting go of his heart demons. Turns out he just needed to have a talk or two with Hiragi. Communication and respect are the keys to any healthy relationship after all, even if said communication is thru fists but they are delinquents so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. 

With that tangent on Sako’s previous ideologies out of the way, another thing I noticed in his official apology was that he called Inugami “kohai” and also like other things he said, but mainly that part. Maybe I’m reading into it or im late to the party, but me thinks he was somewhat of recluse in Shishitoren. Like sure, he wouldn’t be outright hostile but he wouldn’t be actively making friends either.

When Inugami first appeared and was very comfortable talking to him, it made me think “ah this is Sako’s new bestie when he came to Shishitoren, it’s good someone was there for him while he was gunning for Hiragi”.  But with this new context, in my head it makes sense if he only joined because he wanted revenge so he likely wouldn’t have reached out if he was so fixated on his goals. And with the whole uh pre-Shishitoren arc Choji and Togame thing going around, yeah I wouldn’t also be eager to make be friendly with them too. But somewhere along the way he got attached to them, he just didn’t realized it at the time.

After Bofurin bulldozes in with their life changing fists and kicks, Sako leaving wouldn’t have been a hard decision for him to make since (1) he’s got presumably no friends and (2) he wants to wallow in self pity alone for a good long while. Then comes crashing in sweet boy Inugami and honestly? I don’t blame Sako for spilling his entire backstory on the guy. I mean look at his face!! 

He’s Sako’s emotional support dog. 

Anyways, in my heart I’d like to believe Inugami was the second person to reach out to him. Offering him another chance to lean on support and start anew on learning to be okay with accepting a hand or two but not to the extreme. Trusting others and letting people in again, but also learning to trust in himself too.

And so far, things are going pretty well for him. Found family within Shishitoren, got someone who’s unafraid to keep him in check and repaired his relationship with Hiragi & his other childhood friends! Throwing all the confetti and sweets for him <3

HOO-WEE THAT WAS SO FUCKING LONG 😭😭 

I wanted to add more to this latter half of this discussion but the Sako-brainrot took over, so i’ll just briefly cover my thoughts on Sakura’s progress.

Two words: SAKURA’S GROWTH! 

HE IS BLOOMING IN THE SUMMER HEAT OF JULY, HE’S RADIANT AND HIS SKINS GLOWING AS HE SMILES, IM SMOTHERING HIM IN A PILE OF FLOWER BOUQUETS -*ahem*

Sakura really has come a really long way from the person he was 4 months ago and it’s a real tear-jerker. Even if he didn’t say it to their faces directly, he called his class his friends and he hangs out with the others (their allies) on his own whenever he has the time. Sakura’s getting comfortable with all of them and I cannot believe that after 160+ chapters this is the first canonical mention of the “stray cat” analogy. His first year and he already won the hearts of so many people, deserved really 🙌. 

Honorable mentions:

The Kanuma and Suo reunion I’ve been waiting for 👏👏. But it’s not enough,, so I’m gonna post a doodle of their mini interaction to satisfy my craving for enemies to friends and/or lovers suonuma 🏃🏃

!!Togame and Choji apologizing to Kaji!! I almost forgot Choji completely trashed him and other Furin students on his way to the school.  

This panel is my everything, it’s so sweet like y’ALL I’M HERE THINKING ABOUT WHO KNOWS HOW LONG YANAGIDA AND MATSUMOTO HAVEN’T SEEN AND TALKED TO THEIR CUTE KOHAI WHO FOLLOWED HIRAGI AROUND LIKE A DUCKLING. IM UGGHHH- *stumbles to the ground and wails pathetically*

Sugi? Sweet boy, what are you contemplating about 👀? If you asked me, I hope it’s about Sakura AND/OR will be relevant to the next arc of the series because my body is simultaneously ready and not ready for new antagonists.

—

Once again singing my praises to Nii-sensei, his team and the official english translation staff. My head is constantly in a spin for these characters and their interactions with one another. And thank y’all for being patient with me for this post and for reading til the end.

[grapejuicestyless]

OBX 4 RANT(contains spoilers)

Thoughts on Season 4 Ending:

Honestly, me personally, I think I always knew that eventually one of the Pogues would end up dying, but I always thought it would be more towards the end(season 5ish) so that at least the main cast would get to finish out the show. But I can’t say I’m shocked that JJ was killed off this season.

JJ was my favorite character obviously, and I think he definitely deserved a happy ending as much, if not more, than the other Pogues, but also, I think by killing off the comic relief and such a beloved character, it leaves so much room for plot development and other character arcs that weren't there previously.

Kiara's season is long overdue as well as Cleos. But more than that, I think that as amazing as the Jiara plot was, it held back Kiaras character. If you compare Season 3-4 Kiara to season 1-2 Kiara, shes gotten a lot less tough than previously. and while recognizing that the Pogues have gone through a lot and that can change a character, it seems like she was the only one to go through this change, especially after her and JJ got together.(Season 1/2 Kiara would have ended Ruthie tbh.)

Kiara is also one of my favorite characters, and I cannot wait to see how she navigates season 5.

Thoughts on Riara:

While I think both Rafe and Kiara are good characters, the show has progressed too far to have the characters end up together. I love a good enemies to lovers, but theres too much history, especially with JJ gone now, to put them together.

For starters, Kiara loved JJ, and they all just lost him. Season 5 will probably pick up right where they left off(assuming there is no time jump.) and all the Pogues will be grieving and trying to avenge their best friend. So, it doesn't make sense for Kiara to run straight into Rafe Camerons arms, especially when everyone knew that JJ did not like him or trust him, so it would probably feel like a betrayal to JJ to get with Rafe.

More than that, the actress has expressed her dislike for the ship, so it would not be surprising if it never even gets mentioned.

However, I do think the Pogues, especially Kiara, are going to have an intense breakdown over JJ that only Rafe will be able to help with. I would love to see Kiara and the other Pogues be able to lean on Rafe and use him as guidance to get revenge for JJ and also figure out their emotions that Rafe has dealt with for 4 seasons now. I would also love to see Rafe lean on the Pogues for guidance as part of his character arc without replacing JJ.

Thoughts on the actors:

As someone who had watched the show from day one, I find it so crazy at how people have turned a FICTIONAL CHARACTERS DEATH, into something so much bigger. JJ Maybank was a comfort character to me as well, and I definitely cried and was upset by the ending, but I think ultimately that's a good thing.

The fact that Rudy was able to bring to life a character so well that people are making petitions to get him back should say something about how insanely talented this cast is, but instead, all I've seen is people tearing down Rudy and Madison.

What went down between the actors is not confirmed. Just because a gossip account "confirms" something, doesn't mean it's true. Do I think it's sad that such close friends can't interact in public anymore? Yes. But it's weird to theorize over it, especially because this is someone's life, these are real people.

All the hate towards the actors is just crazy to me because if you truly cared about these people and wanted them to “find each other” again, you wouldn’t be bringing up the things that are the rumored reasons why they don’t talk in public anymore.

More than that, the hate to both of their girlfriends is just as insane. I see it happen to every attractive celebrity. The hate for Elaine, as someone who doesn’t really follow the actors personal lives, seems so forced and unwarranted. People make up rumors and act like it’s the truth without any real proof that it’s real. Same thing with Madisons girlfriend. It all just seems so unreasonable to blame people that have nothing to do with the writing of the script for how the season ended.

Truly, I hope both Madison and Rudy have very successful and long careers after Outer Banks not only in spite of all the people who are claiming that they can’t act(which is crazy because they literally made so many people cry and so many fans want their characters together because of how well they portrayed their characters) and that they will be nothing, but also because they are genuinely some of the most talented young actors today.

Thoughts on JJ’s return:

It’s been said by some people who work on Outer banks and write/produce the show that they could see Rudy coming back in season 5. Whether that be through a revival or through flashbacks, it’s been said that Rudy is open to coming back if it is possible.

For me personally, even though I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to have him back and have him get his happy ending, I think it would ruin the entire plot of the last season to bring him back. I think it would be nice to see the actor come back through flashbacks or other things, and I also see that as the most plausible scenario in which JJ would appear in season 5. But unfortunately, because of all the press and statements made about the show, I do not think JJ will be coming back.

Final thoughts/theories:

Did they bury JJ in Morocco?: Yes and No. I think that initially, it could have been JJ the Pogues buried, however, I think that after seeing all the backlash on them having JJ be randomly buried so far away from everyone else and making his worst fear, being alone, come true, they might change who got buried.

Keep in mind, Pope shot someone and killed them. It’s totally possible since we didn’t explicitly see who got buried that the writers could make it to be that they buried the man Pope killed instead of JJ. Or, that maybe if it was JJ, the grave is temporary until they can bring him back to the Outer Banks.

Will Luke have a redemption after JJ’s death?: Maybe. I think it’s possible to see the Pogues coming to Luke as part of their “revenge” for JJ, but once Luke finds out about JJ’s death, he will tell the Pogues what he was trying to tell JJ before he ran off. I don’t necessarily think he will have a “redemption” and at this point, the damage has already been done and he’s already permanently hurt JJ and theres no way to fix it. But, I could see him unintentionally telling the Pogues something that could help them.

What will happen to Pope?: I think two things are possible. I think they could send him away to the Military/jail, which will result in a breakout mission similar to what we saw in season 2 with John B and JJ in jail, or, we could see him hiding out until he gets his name pardoned by Shoupe. At this point, I’m not sure what will happen with him because so much has happened to the Pogues in such a short amount of time that his storyline could really go in any direction.

What about the baby?: I think at the end of OBX, we will get to see each of the Pogues doing what they dreamed of while still being together. Kiara will be saving turtles, Pope will end up in some kind of schooling, John B and Sarah will have the baby. Etc.

I could see them naming the baby JJ, and I think that makes the most sense to do. As for the theory that the whole show is just John B and Sarah telling their kid about JJ and the Pogues, as cute as that would be, it feels predictable and in a way, ruins the show for me. I feel like it would feel similar to the ending of how I met your mother(iykyk…) and I feel like it wouldn’t be the most satisfying ending to the show.

I don’t know if we will ever see the baby, or if we will just find out if the name will be JJ or not, who knows, but either way, it would be amazing to see each of the Pogues finally be able to settle down and get what they want.

I could also see the Pogues deciding to stick together and have that be what they all want after JJ’s death and honoring him by saving the property, but again, like Popes storyline, the ending could go either way I feel.

Anyways, those are just my thoughts/opinions on the new season of OBX. Any hate towards the actors will not be tolerated <333

[hexlenx]

HIHIH OKAYOKAY I GOT TWO MORE REQUESTS FOR NOW IF THAT'S FINE HIHI!!! Starting with first. Same setting with reader being a cold badass lady in the army. Now make it so our lovely count vronsky sees the reader covered in (enemy)blood/on the field if that makes sense, possibly in a snowy setting. No pressure though, i completely understand if you're not comfortable with writing about blood and stuff like that!! Thankyousomuchforthefirstononceagain

A/N: OMG I FEEL LIKE WE'RE MAKING A SERIES TOGETHER XJDNSNSN! Thank you so much for giving me a lot of your ideas, it's so good and I'm glad you trust me with making it come true through writing! I'm gonna add a idea in between so I hope you don't mind. I am completely comfortable with blood and anything gore! I'm a little dark romance kinnie so it's fine! And you're welcome!

A LITTLE BLOOD IN ROMANCE — alexei vronsky

Part two of Point your Sword at me.

note: I do not own count vronsky 'cuz I would be too lucky to have this man in my life. And it's a little short

warnings!: gore, blood, violence!

__________________

The cries and groans of the soldiers in the battle could be heard all around the snowy field. There was an ambush led by the enemy in one of the country's borders. Luckily, you were there to lead your soldiers in the sudden battle, but unluckily for you, you were outnumbered.

You were trying to push the enemy forces out of the border's as there was a small village close to it. You didn't want anymore innocents to die. No matter how cold blooded you were in battle, people who have no part in the war do not deserve such an end.

A loud cry made you pause in your fight as you looked at the direction where that source came from. It was a small male child crying for his mother who got murdered in cold blood right in front of him. It made you angry, disgusted towards the enemy, and disappointed in yourself for letting such thing happen to a child in such a young age. You promised yourself that if you had a chance to change that for one's child's life, you would do so in a heartbeat.

And when that moment came, you didn't.

And that made you see red.

Vronsky was running as fast as he could as he rode his horse, Frou-Frou, towards the battle you were in. Not even bothering to grab a coat for the cold winter. He might not admit it to many people but he was worried about your safety. He knew you could take care of yourself, you were a general for god's sake! But he couldn't help it.

Yelling out an order to the cadets behind him he began speeding up as he heard the battle from a distance, it made his adrenaline go higher. His mind running into negative outlooks as he didn't seem to notice the lack of battle around him the moment he arrived on the location.

The moment he saw you, everything went silent.

Snowflakes dropping down in the air around the both of you that if it weren't for the setting in hand, it would have been romantic.

There wasn't a single battle around you, only multiple mutilated bodies from the cuts of your sword and the bullets of your gun. The battle was done and all that stood there was you.

You breathing heavily as you stood over the middle where you just fought probably a fourth of the enemy's forces. Sweat as well as blood mixing on your skin and clothes. You looked like you just came back from a battle, which you did.

A blank look was on your face as you continued to stare down at the place where the mother-son duo had died. During your battle, the child had died next to his mother when you were focused on killing the men around you. If you weren't blinded by anger earlier, now you were blinded by pure bloodlust.

Vronsky hurriedly ran towards you, his hands hold your arms as he checked over your form, trying to see if there were any wounds on you. There wasn't any sign of a wound on the cuts of your uniform which made him sigh in relief, but paused as he realized you killed all these men alone.

An a familiar ache appeared on his abdomen but he chose to ignore it as it is not the time. Ignoring all the blood on you he immediately put you in his embrace.

This made you snap out of your daze as tears prickled in your eyes but you didn't let it fall. He was warm, very warm and it gave you a sense of security. This made you unconsciously snuggle more into his form.

Vronsky held you delicately as if he didn't want to break you, while this may irritate you if it were someone else. For some reason, when it was him, you let it happen. You were growing soft on him or perhaps you were already soft towards him since the beginning.

"Let go of me, I'm covered in blood." You muttered towards him as he only hummed before responding.

"A little blood wouldn't hurt if I get to hold you like this."

[fallenhunnyapple]

Hell is Forever and Heaven is a Lie

Here's Part 1 of the Sinner!Adam AU RP ⚠️Disclaimer⚠️ We started this RP in February very soon after we got into Adamsapple so our grasp of the characters then and our HCs and stuff were not what they are now, so there's gonna be some inconsistencies and maybe behaviors that we no longer attribute to them. So just something to keep in mind if things Change over the course of the posts. Lucifer and Charlie are written by Me Adam (and briefly later Niffty and Husk) are written by @fallenguitarhero

~~~~~~~~~~rp start~~~~~~~~~~~

When Charlie called him over in a panic, Lucifer was instantly there by her side. Adam. Having Adam in Hell as a sinner was, well. It was a whole disaster. It made sense? He was far from Noble and his soul was still human, though he lacked the element of free will. But it certainly didn't sit well with him. Especially since he was near his daughter. His precious little girl who he had dared to hurt before. He still wished he had taken him out back then, but now it seemed that it wouldn't have mattered since he was right there in Hell again.

Charlie, his kind caring and sweet daughter, had convinced him to help in such a drastic way. Anything to help her, and this was part of Anything. He knew she always had Hell's best interest at heart, whether they deserved it or not. But it was true that if he could have Adam under control, that would endanger her Much less than if he was allowed to exist within the Hotel without him.

With a sigh and a glance back at the one is question, Lucifer faced his daughter with a gentle smile. "Okay. I'll do it."

There was obvious relief on Charlie's expression as she hugged him. "Thanks Dad! I guess now I'll just. Have to tell him. Yeah, that'll be easy... Haha..."

Her tone was obviously nervous but she pulled away from the hug and took a few steps towards Adam before clearing her throat. "Heeeey, so. Adam. You can Stay here, we're all about second chances! But, uh. All of Hell will probably be after you and well.... We don't want that to fuck us over. Sooo there is Ooone little itty bitty condition. And! It's for your safety too! You'll be killed if you're not under some sort of... Protection. And my dad, Lucifer, has agreed toooo... Make a deal with you to keep the rest of Hell from trying to kill you and destroy the Hotel! Yaaaaaay."

---- Adam was not happy.

He'd had time to calm down from his initial panic and rage. The situation still fucking sucked but now he was actually taking stock of his surroundings and thinking through his options.

He fucking hated being ignored by Lucifer and his little bitch of a daughter but at the very least it gave him the space he needed to think things through. Adam wandered through the rebuilt lobby and poked at the decorations- ugh, why was hell so red? What a lame color. Adam liked blue better.

So. Clearly, something had been done to his wings so that he couldn't just fly up and open the portal between heaven and hell. Adam also felt disoriented and off balance, as though his center of gravity had changed.

Speaking of change...

Adam caught a glimpse of his reflection in a decorative mirror and went very still. His hand rose to touch one of his new horns and he winced when his claws scraped the surface and agitated the swiftly growing headache that was pounding behind his eyes. He'd assumed that the familiar weight was because of his helmet but these- Adam tugged hard, wanting to tear it out at the root, but all that happened was his headache getting worse. Yeah. That was real.

"What the fuck." Adam swiftly crossed the rest of the room and grabbed the mirror. His eyes darted rapidly back and forth as he took in the changes to his head and face; the new horns and the stupid ears and-

Adam yelped and spun around with a hand clutching his chest.

"Fuck! You scared the crap outta me, don't do that." Adam completely disregarded that Charlie had in no way snuck up on him. He still listened to her, his eyebrows climbing with each word.new

"Let me stop you right there," Adam cut her off mid 'yaaay' with a dismissive flick of his hand. "I don't need protection and I definitely don't need it from him. Are you forgetting who I am? I'm the Adam, bitch! I kill more sinners in one day than fentanyl does in a year!" Adam's voice pitched high and mocking; "Youw pwecious daddy ovew dewe," His voice dropped to its usual rough tone, "can eat a whole bag of dicks."

----

Charlie hadn't really registered what Adam was up to but she didn't expect to startle him. But of course he didn't seem to care. She knew this wouldn't be easy but she still deflated a bit. Yeah, Adam was an asshole, she knew that. And she didn't think he would be willing or accepting of the things she had to say. She took in a deep breath through her nose and tried again.

"Look, I know this isn't... ideal. For any of us. But you're here now! In Hell! And uh. I don't think yooou really get your position here. I-I know you're 'the Adam' but that paints a target on your back, you know?" Truthfully, she didn't know if Adam still retained his strength as an angel which would, admittedly make him at least partially able to handle himself, but in Hell? There would be no shortage of people aiming for him and if they worked together it would absolutely raze this place to the ground after they had just rebuilt it.

"Don't talk about my dad that way." A demonic edge laced her tone. She had low patience for Adam, but she was trying. But no one disrespected her dad.

Lucifer stepped in, placing a hand gently in front of her. "Let me handle this Char-char." He didn't like seeing Charlie agitated and he knew her kind and patient speech wasn't going to get through to a piece of shit like Adam.

"Listen here, fuckhead. I know you think you're still the same you were before you got fucking Skewered a million times. But uh, how do I put this nicely. You're fucking nothing now, Bitch. You're in my world now and none of your Angelic bullshit even works here. Go ahead and fucking try it."

"Dad!" She didn't want to encourage a fight. Maybe... Maybe this tactic would work? But she was still so worried, her stomach tied in knots. She knew her dad could handle Adam, but she didn't like to see this kind of confrontation all the same.

---

She really didn't know when to quit, huh? And here he thought that radio prick liked the sound of his own voice, sheesh!

When he'd first seen her all those months ago in the embassy, Adam had been glad that she looked nothing like Lilith. All he saw when he looked at her was Lucifer and it had made her so much easier to hate. Fun to mess with, too. She fell for all the tricks that the old cuckmaster had always been a little too wily for.

But now? He wished she was enough like her old man to know when to call it quits. This stubborness was all Lilith, definitely. Lucifer had at least known he'd lost all those years ago when he got banished.

Well, he had known. Charlie changed that, didn't she? Adam didn't know how that made him feel.

Adam rolled his eyes and scoffed. As Charlie tried to explain his 'position' (on top like always, duh!) he mocked her with nonsensical high-pitched 'blahblahblahs', his hand making yapping motions the whole time. When she finally finished, he stuck out his tongue with a 'bleh.'

Oh, wait. Things were getting fun now. Adam's eyes narrowed and his smug smirk widened into a full grin.

"Or what?" It took only the barest flicker of movement for his eyes to snap to Lucifer. "Aww, here comes daddy to the rescue-"

Adam's shocked face was priceless. It took him a bit to recapture his bravado and puff back up. His useless wings fluffed up to make him look bigger than he already was compared to the devil.

He immediately turned away, his side facing the pair so he could still watch them, and struck a pose by pointing at a piece of particularly ugly decoration.

Nothing happened.

"Uhhhh!" Adam shook his hand as if it was a broken tool. "One second, gimme one second, this has never happened before-" He peered at his finger the way an idiot like him might peer down the barrel of a gun that wasn't firing. "What the fuck did you do to me!?"

Because it had to be their fault.

----

Charlie's eyes had narrowed at the mocking but she didn't expect him to have any respect for her anyway. Still, it was frustrating to be mocked like that. It pissed her off when demons dismissed her and it did now too. But it seemed something her dad said had definitely caused Adam to drop his bravado.

She had her hand clasped on her dad's shoulder, apprehensive. She didn't doubt when Lucifer said Adam didn't have his angelic powers anymore, but that didn't mean she didn't tense up when he tried. It was a relief that nothing happened and she let out a nervous breath.

Lucifer on the other hand just stood, both hands resting on his cane with a smug and even amused expression. "Having... Trouble there?" His tone was as mocking as his expression. He wanted Adam to feel Small. Height didn't mean Shit, especially when the power gap between them had only Widened. He took a couple steps forward, and chuckled. "Oh, we didn't do anything. Guess actions have Consequences, huh? Never had to experience those, did you?"

----

Adam slowly looked back to Lucifer and Charlie. There was something different in his expression, a look in his eyes that hadn't been there before. Even when he had fought Lucifer, he'd been defiant until the end- until he'd been stabbed in the back by that little gremlin.

Adam had never really been afraid before. Startled, yes. A little rattled? Of course. But there had never been a time in his life that he'd been truly frightened. Now, though, Lucifer's smile felt more like the bared fangs of a predator then the smug grin that Adam usually wanted to punch off his face.

Adam drew in a breath and got his shit together. This didn't really mean anything. He was still Adam. Heaven wouldn't abandon him like this.

He caught a glimpse of his reflection from the corner of his eye.

"FUCK!" Adam snatched something small and kitschy and threw it at the mirror. The shattered glass distorted his reflection and made him feel even worse. He hunched his back and mantled his wings around himself, full on ready to throw something somewhere between a temper tantrum and a nervous break down.

"This can't be happening. I'm the first fucking man! I've-" His voice cracked and he grabbed at his horns to confirm to himself they were still there, "I've never done anything to deserve this! I'm not some sinner piece of crap- I belong in heaven, not here. Not with you freaks!"

----

Lucifer took a step back to avoid any glass shards from the broken mirror and sighed. He knew immediately that at the very least Vaggie would come to check. Maybe that obnoxious radio asshole too. No, that wouldn't do.

"Hey, Charlie. I'm gonna take him elsewhere until the deal is done. Come up with some cover story for what happened to the Mirror and we'll be back when I got it." His tone was stern and serious and

Charlie nodded slowly. "Right...." She had been startled by it but she heard footsteps from upstairs now and it sunk in that this was actually a Bad situation to have the others see. "Right! Okay! I got it! Uhm, I can. I can figure it out... Just, be careful Dad."

"Don't worry, I can handle this." He gave Charlie a gentle smile before walking up to Adam and grabbing him by the collar. No time to be a bitch with an existential crisis.

It was not a moment too soon when Vaggie appeared at the veranda of the second floor and looked over to railing to Charlie and the glass scattered on the floor.

"Charlie! Are you okay? What happened?"

"Oh, uh. Just got a little too... Excited and ended up knocking some things over that cracked the mirror. Haha, clumsy me-!"

~~

Now they were Literally in Lucifer's house. It hadn't been properly lived in for a while, but it was clean enough to handle this mess. He unceremoniously tossed Adam at the couch in the living room and sat in the nearby matching armchair.

"Done having your fit?"

----

Adam was too consumed by his angst to notice that Lucifer was approaching. It was only when he was scruffed that he properly tuned back into the situation at hand.

"Huh?" Adam blinked dumbly. He had just enough time to register what was happening before he was thrown into a couch. Instead of trying to dodge, Adam chose to just use the remaining momentum to climb onto the couch and flop face first onto it.

"Yes." Adam answered snippily after a few seconds. "I'm now having a heart attack instead."

----

Well at least he wasn't having a tantrum. Did the sudden change of scenery knock him out of it? Hopefully. He didn't like dealing with this manchild at the best of times. Though it was gratifying knowing how pathetic and weak he was now. And Adam had seen it for himself too. "Oh, good. Let me know when you're done with that and we can..." he sighed. "Have a real conversation."

He said that but he was restless and he still didn't like Adam so instead of being an adult and having any kind of patience, he picked up a rubber duck from the nearby pile and tossed it at Adam.

----

Adam grunted. He didn't want to talk to Lucifer either. In fact, maybe if he ignored him long enough Lucifer would go away.

The duck squeaked as it bounced off of Adam and into the back of couch and then fell back on Adam's back between his wings. Why have you betrayed it like this, father?

Adam grunted.

"Bruh," Adam lifted his head and squinted at Lucifer. He looked terrible. His face was mostly unchanged from when he'd been an angel, but for the rectangular pupils and sheep-like ears. But the bags under his eyes and unkempt appearance had been joined by bloodshot eyes and red lines on his face from the couch. "Did you just throw a rubber duck at me? Have some respect for the dying, asshole."

----

Adam, the guy who's pride almost rivaled his own at times, was feeling sorry for himself as he lay on his couch. Lucifer couldn't help but find the humor in this and let out a single chuckle. He almost felt bad for the duck though. At least Adam didn't try to break it or something.

"You're already dead twice over asshole, you're not dying again. At least not so easily. You see sinners are resilient. And that's what you are now. Get it?"

----

"Mm." Adam propped himself up on his elbows. Maybe someone would have expected him to throw another fit or attack Lucifer... but he'd figured out that this wasn't the sort of situation he could brute force his way out of.

"Is it because I died in hell?" Adam looked at Lucifer with an uncharacteristically serious expression. Then, he said something that he hadn't even realized had been bothering him; "None of my girls came back. Just me."

He rolled the rubber duck off his back and into his hand with his wing. Instead of crushing it or throwing it, he just held it.

"Angels don't become sinners but," It sounded like he was pulling teeth just to admit he wasn't perfect. "I have a human soul."

So it wasn't his fault. It was the fucking... radiation or something that hell had.

"Okay. Got it. I'm a sinner for now or whatever." Adam looked at the duck instead of Lucifer. "This blows, man."

---- This was probably the calmest Lucifer had ever seen Adam. All his bravado was gone and he seemed... Small. Like Lucifer had wanted. Good. He didn't have sympathy for him, he didn't care about his problems. He crossed his legs and leaned to one side of the arm chair, propping his chin up with a hand.

"Look, I'm gonna be real with you. This is a first. Angels dying is new to us, and, well, a human soul getting a second afterlife is also new. You've done enough shit this time to get stuck down here with the rest of us and pretty sure you're not going anywhere now. So you might as well get used to it."

And he was absolutely Watching Adam's hands like a hawk. He was being gentle with the duck and that kept him from getting more on his bad side at least.

---- All Adam heard was Lucifer admitting that this had never happened before. He latched onto that one crumb of hope like it was the only thing he had because, well, it was.

"You're right!" Adam shot up with all the energy he lacked just moments before. "This is some kind of freak accident! And that means nobody knows I'm down here, they all think I'm dead!"

Adam looked to Lucifer with manic eyes.

"I have to report to the embassy. If I tell someone I'm alive then I can go back to where I belong." Trying to appeal to Lucifer, he kept ranting; "That's the best option for all of us, right? You don't want me here anymore then I do."

----

Lucifer rolled his eyes. Of course Adam was all gungho about this now. Of course, he wouldn't let that happen. Did Heaven even have a new Ambassador for Hell now that Adam was dead? Had they even bothered to figure that out? He had no faith in Heaven so he doubted it.

"You're not an Angel anymore, Adam."

The words were cold, spoken coldly. And the accompanying gaze held none of the usual jovial playfulness. He had One goal right now and if Adam thought he had any other choice, it would make it even more difficult.

----

Maybe it was the directness of the words or the cold manner in which they were spoken that did it but either way, Adam listened. His wings slumped.

The reality of the situation was finally starting to sink in. He didn't want to accept it but he wasn't so stupid he'd keep beating his head against a brick wall. Above all else, Adam was motivated by his own self-interest and his survival came first and foremost in this situation.

But first, a little bit of self-pity was called for.

"I'm fucked." Adam dropped his head into his hands. "I'm soooo fucked."

----

It seemed the seriousness of the situation was finally sinking in. Good. Lucifer stood up from his chair and strode up to Adam. His expression was still serious, but not quite as harsh as before.

"Yeah, you are. Heaven ain't taking you back and Hell, well, most of Hell would love to string you up and watch you struggle through whatever depraved shit they could come up with."

And now the more familiar playfulness was returning. "That's why you should've listened more closely to Charlie. She had a solution for you. One that would, more or less, keep Hell from ripping you to pieces over and over for Eternity."

----

Adam could have argued with that first point but he knew Lucifer was right about the rest. He would never get out of hell if he was pounced on by the first sicko with an agenda the second he left this mansion.

He… honestly wasn't too familiar with what that depraved shit could be. The most 'depraved' thing he had seen in his long life had been some of the Angel Dust porn one of his exorcists had found and brought to heaven. He'd wanted to let her keep it but Sera had gotten all tense about contraband and made him confiscate it. He'd given her the real sick shit to destroy and hid the rest under his mattress. The exorcist had been stoked when he told her.

She'd died while the shield was up. Adam wished he killed that radio prick when he had the chance.

"Yeah, I heard her." Adam sank back against the couch. "A deal with you…" His melancholy expression twisted into sardonic anger. "Because that ended real well for Eve, right? Do you really think I'm that stupid?"

----

Lucifer stepped around to the back of the couch and leaned over it, chin in hand again. "Tell me, what other choice do you think you have?" Adam could protest and be pissed about his non-option, but that didn't change the fact that it was a non-option.

Charlie wanted to protect Adam, give him a chance. Lucifer loved his baby girl but she sure had some weird morals and ideas. And he had already vowed to do anything that helped her with them. His own feelings were always going to be secondary to this. And that was the only reason he had to corner Adam and force him to make the deal. Letting him out without it and at the risk of getting his ass got by any sinner or demon out there wasn't an option for him either.

----

Adam did not like Lucifer being behind him. He twisted awkwardly and painfully to make sure that he wasn't too vulnerable in front of the devil. He was a little jumpy about having his back turned to people now and especially to the most hated being in creation.

"I could die." It's obvious from his facial expression that Adam doesn't consider that an option. He chews on that for a bit. Death or Lucifer, huh? At least until he can find a way back to heaven…

"So if I make a deal with you, you'll protect me from the demons." Adam leaned back. "What do you get out of it?"

----

Lucifer hummed, knowing that Adam wasn't actually considering that. Not Adam, he was going to inflict his existence on people for as long as he possibly could. That was one thing he was sure about. But when the question came back to him he waved his hand a bit dismissively.

"Well, mostly I'm doing this for Charlie. But in terms of, I guess, formalities, it'd be… 'I lend you my protection so no one will harm you so long as you're in hell or else they'll have to deal with Me, and you know how powerful I am, and in exchange you behave for the people at the Hotel and I get your soul.' Something like that."

----

Adam blanched.

"My soul!?" Of course Heaven's poster boy wasn't taking that well. He looked like he was on the edge of deciding to try his chances in a mad dash for the embassy. He was so distressed that he only barely picked up on the implicit threat of Lucifer's power. "You want me to sell my soul to you!? You're the fucking devil!"

----

"Yeah, no shit I'm the fucking Devil. That's exactly why I'm your best bet is this shithole. No one is gonna fuck with me. Or whoever is under my care." He was getting exasperated, and his patience was already Paper thin.

"You don't know shit about this place. All your angelic powers are gone cuz you're not a fucking Angel anymore. You don't even know what you can do as a sinner yet. And that means you're more vulnerable than you've ever been in your entire existence. Your soul? It ain't going back up, that's for sure. You're already here. Hell is forever, I think Charlie told me you said. So either you spend that forever with the best fucking security anyone in this place could possibly get, or you spend forever getting passed around and fucked and killed by randos."

----

Yikes. Someone was grouchy. Adam personally thought Lucifer didn't have the right to act all pissy about this. Adam was the one who got stabbed to death by a psycho! And now he was stripped of his halo and forced to rely on his oldest enemy for survival.

And maybe Adam would have still decided to try to fight if he hadn't already learned his powers were gone. If he hadn't already spent a half hour hopping around like an idiot trying to take flight with clipped wings.

That was another thing. Adam didn't know if Lucifer already knew this but… Well, it was a helluva lot harder to escape angry sinners without his wings. It wasn't like he'd been doing much cardio in heaven.

He was fucked over either way. But at least Lucifer was offering him some say in how he was getting fucked over. A chance to set terms or whatever. And quite frankly Adam didn't relish the idea of being literally fucked by randos. They'd do worse to him, he was sure, not only in the name of revenge but also whatever sick shit these freaks got off on.

"Fine." He bit out through grit teeth. "I'll do it. I'll make a fucking deal with you and play nice for your kid and all her little friends." He leaned closer to Lucifer. "Happy? You've finally dragged all three of us down here with you."

----

"Oh, yes. Very." Lucifer grinned. Fucking FINALLY. While his mind was now very quickly wandering onto Other ways to complete the set, he knew he needed to get the contract done Before all that. Man it'd been a while since he'd drawn up any sort of contract. He'd been more than out of the game for what felt like eons.

But he snapped his fingers and a golden scroll manifested, a bright red pen with it, filled with a red ink that matched the rest of the writing on the scroll. "You can read it, but I don't think you have the patience~ But I am a man of my word. No secret clauses or anything like that. Just what we've already verbally agreed on, but on paper."

----

Adam gave Lucifer a deadpan look.

"Yeah, I'm sure there's nothing weird hidden in the fucking fine print. Do you even know the shit they say about you up there, man?" Still, that didn't go entirely against what he knew of Lucifer. In all of their dealings during his tenure as ambassador to hell, Lucifer had been for the most part honest and straightforward. Adam had always assumed it was because Lucifer didn't like the sinners anymore then he did.

He squinted at the scroll. It wasn't that long and yet he couldn't make himself focus on it for more than a quick skim through. He tried. But after everything he'd been through in such a short amount of time, his hands were shaking with nervous energy and the words just wouldn't stick in his head. It was too short for Lucifer to have hidden anything, right?

… Right.

Adam took the pen and tried to will his hand to stop shaking. He felt sick. No matter what anyone might say about his character, Adam had always been loyal to heaven and to the angels. This was a betrayal that left even someone as self-centered as him grappling with the unfamiliar feeling of guilt.

He'd hated Vaggie so much for betraying them - for betraying him - and yet he was now doing something far worse. A deal with the most hated being in creation.

"… I'm gonna sign it." Adam closed his eyes and tried to focus on breathing. "I just need a second."

----

"I'm sure I can guess." Lucifer didn't like Heaven and had no doubt they spoke hatefully of him if ever he did come up. Probably mostly lies, honestly. He stood up and walked back around the couch to stand in front of Adam, waiting. Oh, he was sure it wouldn't be easy.

"Yeah, sure, take your time. I got all day." Well, since things were winding down a bit, maybe he could try being at least a little bit of a host. "Hungry? Thirsty? I can get you something."

----

Adam's feathers ruffled up. He cracked open one eye and gave Lucifer a dirty look.

"If I even think about food I'm gonna blow chunks all over your ugly carpeting." Adam half-threatened, half-warned. "Check back in after I've finished committing the ultimate sin, 'kay?"

----

Lucifer held his hands up is a dismissive manner. "Okay, okay fine. No food, got it." He walked back to the chair he sat in earlier and sank down, eyes still trained on Adam.

Until he felt his phone go off and saw a text from Charlie. Aw, his wonderful daughter was checking in on him! His demeanor drastically and obviously changed to being much more chipper and happy as he texted back. Just a little update that they'd come to an agreement and now he was just waiting for him to sign the contract! They wouldn't immediately head back to the hotel though. He wanted Charlie to have enough time to prep things after all! At least that was the reason he was giving her.

----

It was a relief when Lucifer finally found something else to stare at. Adam watched him long enough to see his sudden change in demeanor- the ex-angel looked away with a scowl. Was he texting a girlfriend or something? Adam wouldn't be surprised if someone like Lucifer had already moved on from Lilith.

Driven by his own petty need to at least make this less of a pleasant memory for future Lucifer, Adam took his chance to sign the contract while the devil was distracted. He made sure that his handwriting was sloppy and ugly too. He even considered dropping the pen in the couch cushions before deciding to drop it on the floor by his feet instead.

"Done." Adam watched the contract instead of the devil. He sort of expected it to burst into flames so he made sure to lean back as far as he could without hurting his wings. "What now?"

---End Part 1---

[discordiansamba]

for the first time in years, zuko returns home.

he sort of had before, when he was still lee. but although the villa on ember island was filled with fond memories, it wasn't home- and he hadn't been himself, either. uncle times it so that they arrive at the royal capital in the middle of the night, and literally steal into the palace like thieves. zuko can understand the logic behind it. uncle wanted to wait before he officially announced his and lu ten's return.

he wanted to give them time to get used to palace life again.

(...he also probably wanted to keep an eye on zuko's sleepwalking. since that was apparently a thing he had been doing for awhile now.)

"i feel like i'm the one invading the fire nation," jin playfully teases.

it makes him crack a smile. truthfully, he's been nervous ever since he spotted the caldera in the horizon. everything suddenly feels so real to him, in a way it hadn't until now. he was going home. he was going to be a prince of the fire nation again- not the crown prince, now that lu ten was back. but still a prince.

and jin was here with him.

he can tell from the way she grips his arm that she's nervous too. he can't blame her. her life is about to turn upside-down, the same way his had... well. several times, actually. when mom disappeared. the agni kai. finding the avatar. being declared a traitor. waking up as lee. he's getting kind of tired of it.

"you'll do fine," zuko promises her, "-i'm out of practice too."

then he crinkles his nose and admits. actually. i was never very good at it to begin with. maybe i should join those etiquette lessons uncle is arranging for you. jin makes a nervous giggle, and zuko finally works up the nerve to actually. you know. enter the palace. everyone else had already- and he means everyone, since the avatar's group had also accompanied them back to the caldera.

(...he wasn't getting rid of them, was he?)

the first thing he notices is that the portraits are gone.

uncle has had them taken down, he learns. not all of them- only from sozin onward. it didn't seem appropriate to celebrate the accomplishments of their forefathers. zuko can't argue with that. he's also keenly reminded that his father sits locked away in the capital prison. aang didn't kill him. he just took away his firebending.

...he wonders if his father knew what azula had done to him.

he doesn't feel the sense of homecoming he thought he would. he puts it from his mind- he's changed a lot these past few years. maybe that's all it is. he'd always imagined this moment going differently- returning home with the avatar in chains, to reclaim his position as his father's heir. now the avatar was... kind of his friend, maybe. and he wasn't anyone's heir anymore.

...he was okay with that, actually.

it's late, so they're guided to their chambers. jin looks awed when she steps into hers- he can't blame her. he remembers the way lee felt. he tells her goodnight- and she doesn't let him leave without a kiss. he's beet red as the servant shows him to his old quarters... which is helpful, since he doesn't know where they are anymore.

stupid patchwork memory.

he all but collapses into bed. part of him wants to stay up. he's worried about the sleepwalking. he settles for asking the servant to lock the door, and then passes out-

-and wakes up the next morning sitting in front of the door, like he'd tried to leave and failed.

well. fuck.

zuko's in the courtyard. he's got swords.

sokka is instantly worried. like. for a lot of reason. chief among them because before the whole... brainwashing thing, zuko's dedicated mission in life was hunting down and capturing the avatar. he hadn't shown any inclination to pick it back up after he'd gotten un-brainwashed, but...

"sokka," zuko doesn't even turn to look at him, "-i know you're there."

sokka stays still. he's bluffing. he's perfectly hidden in the bushes.

zuko points a sword in his general direction and tells him to get out of the bushes. okay. maybe he does know where he was. the not-looking but knowing where he is thing reminds him a little of toph, but zuko is apparently half blind. maybe that shouldn't be a surprise.

"okay, you caught me," sokka stands up, "-but the real question is... what are you doing?"

zuko just gives him a bland look. he's practicing, what does it look like? turns out his dao were in the jasmine dragon this whole time. it's been two years since he touched them. he's gotten rusty. he can't really firebend at the moment, so he figured now was a good time to pick them back up.

you know, sokka says. not to boast, but while you were off serving tea, he'd studied the blade himself. zuko rolls his eyes. yeah, i heard. you learned from piandao. something about losing your comet sword during the invasion and pleading with aang to search the ocean for it for you?

"first off," sokka says, "-it was a space sword. second off-"

he draws said sword. the pleading paid off. why don't we spar a little? swordbender to swordbender.

zuko briefly looks like he's thinking about killing him again. sokka doesn't mind. it's good for his recovery. then zuko just shrugs. sure. i could use the practice. you weren't the only one to study with piandao, though.

sokka readies himself. he's not worried. zuko hasn't picked up a sword in two years. how good could he be?

the answer? very.

okay. now he thinks he can understand how he'd broke aang out of pohuai stronghold with just swords. sokka sits up, and he swears zuko smirks as he sheathes his swords- but he also offers him a hand. sokka hauls himself up with it, dusting off the back of his pants. huh. guess that's why lan-wei wanted to convince you you were useless at swordplay.

"yeah, probably," zuko says, "-he wanted me to think i was defenseless. i'm pretty sure if you put dao in lee's hands, he wouldn't even be able to use them."

he looks at zuko. he asks what that's like, to have his own skills stolen from him like that. he shakes his head. he couldn't tell you. lee didn't even know what he was capable of. there's nothing to miss if you don't even know it's gone.

and that? that's scary.

"...i guess i should thank you," zuko says after a moment, "-for not just leaving me like that."

sokka shrugs it off. no problem. you weren't their friend or anything, but they couldn't just leave you like that. at the same time... he thinks lee had become their friend, at the end there. those last few days at the ember island villa felt like they'd roped a new friend into their little group. maybe it's why they'd all gone along with katara's crazy idea to let lee choose.

he missed him, just a little.

ah well. guess he'd have to just make do with zuko.