#so it is so frustrating. when sega just dont acknowledge his struggles with it at all ITS HIS FATAL FLAW. HIS WHOLE THING. bites kills maim

[heliianth]

i care! indulge in the urge

okay, i'm going to try being as brief as possible

the... disappointing "fast friends forever" bio got me thinking about shadows messy but effective character arc leading up to 06 and how the nature of it is like a recipe to get people bothered about the whole "shadow's motivations have to do with maria's wish and nothing else" thing. and i do have commentary on that and how it plays into how no one agrees on fucking anything except segas characterization being bad. but i guess i want to commentate more on Why everyone agrees on his arc being important to the point of being mad that it gets ignored, despite like a majority of it happening in shth05 which is extremely unpopular among shadow fans for supposedly being like the first omen of impending character degradation, i guess

i see a lot of sentiments by people, especially in context with how shadow is written nowadays, asserting that there's more nuance to shadow's arrogant attitude than it seems, usually with the conclusion that it's born out of some insecurity and that he's trying to compensate for something, which i suppose is a natural conclusion when it comes to why someone would act the way he does

i've personally gone on record saying that this character trait is the fundamental flaw making communicating and connecting with others on any meaningful level extremely difficult for him, because he others himself as wholly unique and unable to be understood: if he's above, then he's alone (i'm using present tense here because it's the appropriate way to talk about this sort of thing, but ill get to that later). i do think this is a character trait he has or had at some point but no one ever seems to identify what this insecurity is with any sort of confidence beyond headcanons, and thats what i want to talk about real quick

yeah yeah, i said i was gonna be brief but theres a readmore. whatever.

shadow is a character who is intimately concerned with his place in the world and how he affects it. it's appropriate for a character who was artificially created in a test tube to worry about his purpose of creation, and that artificiality lent to a sense of non-autonomy. in sa2, shadow is constantly relying on others to tell him what his identity, and thus purpose, is. it's a huge nuance that i don't see brought up enough that he remains totally dedicated to blowing up earth despite it being implied that he begins developing doubts both through the lyrics of rhythm & balance (white jungle):

(it's a popular interpretation that the person talking to shadow here is supposed to be maria, considering he hallucinates her voice multiple times during sa2. i personally think it also ties into his newfound and unwanted care for rouge—that he is dismissing maria who is reminding him of her wish for revenge because it's making him feel too conflicted with the mission of white jungle. which is to save rouge from the bomb)

and because he reflects on an encounter with maria during which he questions his purpose and creation directly afterwards, telling her that he wonders if going down to earth will yield answers. which lets the audience know pretty directly that he's starting to ask these questions again. but it doesnt do anything because shadow doesn't have an identity outside of what others want from him yet.

(i suppose i should mention that this aspect of his character is also conveyed through his japanese dialogue specifically using boku 僕 but i feel like that's been covered to death and i don't know enough about japanese)

obviously, when he finds out that his memories were fucked with and maria's wish was different, he immediately switches sides without a second thought. his "last words" are even a reference to what she wanted from him, and the trailer to the final story mentions wishes as well ("are wishes eternal?" iirc), so it's clearly a huge part of shadow and the themes of sa2 as a whole.

i think this can be extrapolated a little bit into the idea that shadow is someone who is deeply terrified of annihilation. appropriate for an immortal who was artificially created to serve a greater purpose. this is, at least imo, central to his character and the reason why he's so adverse to autonomy—it leaves room to be annihilated. if he's a tool for another person, then he will always exist as an extension of someone else.

this character trait persists in later games after they resurrect him from the dead, often coming up in the form of him trying to recover his memories. it's kind of a no-brainer for an amnesiac character to seek answers about their past but it continually reoccurs with shadow to the point of making him come across as obsessive. though this could be read as both heroes and shth05 retreading the same ground (and that is probably the case LOL) i think it's understandable considering a) he got genuinely no closure in heroes b) apparently he eventually remembers maria's death and it effects him enough to dwell on it, indicating that its still a source of trauma, c) it's pretty expected for a dude who doesn't know how to form his own identity

the reason i mentioned shth05 and its reputation among shadow fans is because its the game where this trait is actually addressed in a way i feel is meaningful and it's where lots of people get the idea that shadow has grown away from relying on maria's wish to make decisions. the game features multiple different factions essentially ordering shadow what to do, all resulting in him making some definitive conclusion about his purpose, creation, and identity. he doesn't really make a single decision for himself beyond trying to recover the past (which is just as much a search for external direction as doing whatever someone says) in this game and it's completely in character because he's never really... done that. before. even his inclusion in team dark was rouge's decision. he talks big shit in this game about nobody telling him what to do but, like, actions speak louder than words do, man. someone should tell him that.

obviously we know the conclusion and its notable that the canonical ending of the game is vague in what route shadow took and any single choice always conflicts with dialogue, indicating that he didn't follow any route and that his decision to move on from his past was made after actually spending time not being a vessel for someone else's desires

i want to note that its really cool that the shadow android and the black arms hivemind stuff can be read as kind of a representation of annihilation—that shadow isn't unique, hes just another face in an identical crowd, not notable in any significant way. it's also worth pointing out that both of these situations land him under direct control of another person (eggman and black doom respectively) and that despite his lack of autonomy he takes issue with the androids and the black arms probably because he feels like he wouldn't be able to differentiate himself among a whole army. i have a suspicion that if he was approached individually and treated like he was special for being chosen to do a task, he would be much more compliant. which actually is kind of what happens in the dark routes when black doom retraumatizes him with images of the ark.

so uh. conclusion? shadow has learned how to be a person and sometimes acts like an arrogant cunt because he still hasn't unlearned his fear of annihilation, which requires making himself unique and unignorable. and we all know how much shadow bulldozes right over shit when he thinks its necessary.

i admit i dont know how to end this succinctly. its just interesting that shth05 is regarded as one of shadow's worst outings when its, like, the only game that really addresses what i would consider The Root Fundamental Flaw™ that is the source of all his other flaws in any meaningful way. it wouldve benefitted pretty heavily from a more cohesive story, yeah, and to say the execution left something to be desired would be an understatement. but it's centrality to shadow and who he is by the end of his arc (06) and how he should be written now is kind of unignorable and thats manifested in all of the (rightful) outrage over sega not allowing him to separate motivation from maria anymore. Despite the flack shth05 gets for mischaracterization

didnt quite intend for this to come across as defending shth05 as vehemently as it does, but. well. its just something i noticed! and i had lots to say!