#so it ended up being done on my phone like all my other art LOL

[silvrash-797]

I wanted to participate in @thepinklink's dtiys challenge, but I don't really have a style, so it was more of a 'draw this AT ALL' challenge 😅

Anyway, here's my submission!

And, of course, Plink's beautiful original!

My noodle dragons might be a tad bit bigger than hers, but they're present and that's what matters!

Congrats on 300 followers, Mama!🫂❤️🫂❤️

[thelov3lybookworm]

Are You Flirting?

modern!au

Summary: Who's the cute guy she was talking about last night?

•○●⛦●○•

Word Count: 4863

Warnings: flirty lucien, shy reader but shes like 'yknow what fuck shyness lets flirt back' lmaoo

A/n: yall i need you to know. the reader is based on me. shes literally me. i crochet too if yal didnt know hehe. this was so fun to write like it felt like wring my own story except this shit never happened irl lol.

idk ill stop rambling now 😂

ANYWAYS, ENJOYYY 🥹

p.s: id say the credit for this idea goes to my bestie boo @berryzxx because she put me on the song that i used as inspo for tis fic and also bullying me into writing for that song. ily lots pooks 🤭

(based on an indian song 👀)

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

The moment Y/n got the text from her college best friend Feyre, Y/n knew having picked up crocheting as a hobby was the best thing she could ever have done.

Exaggerating aside, she was excited when Feyre asked her if she wanted to reconnect after two years of not talking, and Y/n said yes without hesitation.

They hadn’t talked much, only ever interacting with each other’s instagram posts and stories. Feyre was too busy most of the time painting and opening her own gallery to display her art, taking commissions sometimes and travelling with her fiance.

And even though Y/n had wanted to stay in touch, being an upcoming writer, she did not get too much time to talk as she was busy writing all the time, and when she wasn’t, she was lying in bed wondering why she was in a slump.

Hence, she had picked up crocheting as a new hobby and made some pretty cute tops, imagining herself wearing them to a beach or somewhere pretty. She had been thinking of going somewhere as a vacation to clear her mind.

Which was why when Feyre suggested flying to some beach island her fiance owned for a little getaway with friends, Y/n could not contain her excitement.

Now as she stood in the middle of her bedroom, trying to pick between the two outfits in her hand, wondering which one to wear, she wished she had a boyfriend. Or a husband. Or something. She had always been an indecisive person, and at moments such as this, she wished someone could help her pick her outfits.

Feyre was probably on her way and here Y/n stood, wondering which one to wear and which one to put in her bag to wear the next day.

Ughh fuck me.

Finally, she settled on a pastel pink cardigan and a white halter top with a white bell bottom jeans. She wanted to make a good impression on Feyre’s new friends and decided that the safer option was better. She could wear the other one after she got more comfortable with them.

She had never even met Feyre’s fiance. The two had met and gotten engaged after Y/n and Feyre drifted apart, but Y/n had congratulated her friend on her insta post, so surely that counted as something?

Now that reminder had her reconsidering. Was going vacationing with people she did not know really the best idea?

I mean, what if one of them is a serial killer? What if one of them is suicidal and kills us all-

Maybe she should just cancel.

She was eyeing her phone, genuinely wondering if she should go, when the screen lit up and Feyre’s name flashed across the screen, the soft lilting sound of Y/n’s ringtone filling the air.

So it was decided. Y/n was going.

Y/n answered the call while simultaneously shouldering her bag. "Hello?"

Feyre’s excited voice screeched in her ear from the other end. "Y/n! I’m under your apartment now. Are you ready?"

Instantly, her mood became better and Y/n wondered why she ever considered refusing to go in the first place. Even if she was a stranger to Feyre’s friends, she still had Feyre. She was sure it wouldn’t be as awkward as she was expecting it to be.

Straightening, she glanced around her room for a final time before nodding to herself, confirming that she was not forgetting anything. "Yes, babe. As ready as I’ll ever be. I’m coming down."

Feyre squealed, and Y/n could hear chuckles from the background at her friend’s antics. "I can't wait!"

With that, Y/n ended the call and walked out of her apartment, closing the door behind her, focusing on the jingle of her keychain and not on the nervousness running through her veins.

Soon, as she walked out of the elevator on the ground floor, she spied two dark cars waiting outside. It made her hurry. The moment she exited, she spied her friend leaving the car, grinning.

Feyre ran the short distance to Y/n, throwing all her body weight onto her friend, making Y/n giggle.

"Calm down Fey! I’m not going anywhere."

Feyre pulled away with a wide grin, shaking her head, then grabbed Y/n’s hand and dragged her back to the car she had exited.

"We're a total of ten people, five in that car-" she pointed to the one standing behind the one she had exited- "and five of us in this one." Y/n nodded, trying to calm her nerves.

Feyre then got in, leaving Y/n to get in the back. Feyre’s fiance was sitting in the driver’s seat, black aviation glasses perched on his nose. He offered Y/n a warm smile and a wave before Feyre piped up.

"Y/n, this is my fiance Rhysand. That is Azriel, Rhys’s foster brother and his girlfriend, Gwyneth."

Y/n dipped her head in a polite nod to the couple sharing the back seat with her, but Gwyneth had no qualms about hugging Y/n. Y/n was surprised to say the least by the sudden affectionate action, but she returned it nonetheless with a wide grin.

"Nice to meet you all."

"Everyone, this is my best friend from university, as well as my then roommate, Y/n."

Azriel gave her a tiny smile, his loving gaze returning to his girlfriend not a moment later.

It made Y/n want to go aww, because if that was not pure love right there, then Y/n did not know what was. It made her long to have someone of her own.

Rhys started the car, and the first ten minutes passed in comfortable silence. And then Feyre spoke.

"So, Y/n. Please tell me you’re seeing someone."

Y/n sighed. "You would’ve been the first person to know had I been."

Feyre twisted to glare at Y/n.

"What?"

"Why are you still single?"

"Haven’t found the one yet."

Feyre contemplated for a moment, then grinned. "You know, I’ve got a friend-"

"Not again Feyre!" Y/n turned to Gwyneth. "You know, she would send me on dates with these random dudes every day-"

"Not every day!"

Y/n glared at her friend in jest. "Only because I bullied you to leave me alone."

Feyre sighed dramatically, then plopped back into her seat. "You’re mean."

Gwyn snickered. "Why did you not end up with any of them then?"

Y/n shook her head solemnly. "They were all either too arrogant or ugly."

That made everyone laugh, and finally, Azriel spoke up. "And how did you find so many guys, Feyre?"

Y/n perked up. "I want to know too! I always wondered if she went to asylums to get me a worse specimen than the last."

"Oh my god Y/n, they were just guys from our university and the neighbouring ones."

Y/n smiled. It was fun being around her friend again. It felt like the never stopped talking, picking up from where they left off.

"You know, we’ve got three single people in the other car."

Y/n dropped her head in her palm, and Gwyn cackled.

"Come on Y/n, they’re not that bad. One of them is a guy, but the other two are women. You can experiment if that’s what you want. Maybe that’s the reason you never connected with any guys I set you up with."

Y/n made a crying face and leaned her head against Gwyn, who continued to vibrate with silent laughter. "God help me."

Eventually, Feyre dropped the topic, ending up talking about random nonsense after that. Azriel also chimed in sometimes, but mostly it was either Feyre and Rhysand talking and Gwyn and Y/n laughing and giving unwanted commentary.

They had to take two helicopters to the island, which had Y/n wondering just how big of a jackpot Feyre had gotten engaged to. The ride to the beach home from the helipad after was again two cars.

While boarding the helicopter, Y/n had spied the other friends of Feyre and Rhysand getting out of their car, but she had averted her gaze when the redheaded man had turned to look, hoping she didn’t seem like a creep while she had been trying to take a look at their faces.

The ride to the beach house, as they called it, was silent because Y/n, Gwyn and Feyre dozed off for most of it, already tired after so much travelling. And before they knew it, the midday sun shone through the windows of the car as it finally stopped in the gated compound of a mansion that looked straight out of architectural digest.

Y/n could not stop gaping at it as she got out of the car, then turned to hold the door open for Gwyn.

"It’s so big and beautiful." Gwyn commented, her eyes too fixed on the two story structure. Y/n shot her a knowing look.

"I know right? Only seen stuff like this in the movies."

The two shared a giggle before Azriel joined them on their side and the trio followed Rhysand and Feyre to the main doors.

Rhysand had just climbed the top step when the doors opened, two ladies with long black hair cascading down their backs standing behind them, and Y/n decided that they were twins.

"Nuala, Cerridwen." Rhysand nodded at them with a smile, then turned to the people standing behind him when the twins left.

"I think it’s best if we freshen up and rest for some time before dinner."

The tall guy who had been driving the other car sighed dramatically, burying his head in Nesta’s shoulder. "Thank god, I am tired."

Nesta rolled her eyes, then smiled at Y/n. Being Feyre’s roommate, Y/n had met Nesta on multiple occasions and admired the woman a lot. Nesta, too, had always looked after Y/n like a sister when the three would go out to dinner.

"Y/n. How are you?"

Y/n dipped her head, then stepped forward and pulled Nesta into a hug. "I’m good. Your fiance?"

Nesta nodded, glancing at the hulk of a man. "This is Cassian. Cass, this is-"

"Y/n, heard a lot ‘bout ya." He grinned, extending his hand for a shake.

Y/n smiled at him, then turned back to Nesta and Feyre as the latter began speaking. "Y/n, this is Elain, my other sister. Mor, Rhysand’s cousin, and Lucien, my friend."

After everyone had been introduced, all of them retreated to their rooms. It seemed like they had these outings a lot, because the way everyone was so familiar with the layout of the house would have been uncanny had this been their first time here.

Except for Lucien. He seemed a little hesitant, lingering back with Y/n as everyone else left. But then Feyre directed the two to the upper floor, where two guest rooms were waiting for them.

The rooms were next to each other, so Y/n and Lucien were together till the very last moment. It gave Y/n a lot of time to admire the man’s attractiveness through stolen glances, and she wished it did not for she was not able to control the movement of her jaw that kept unhinging every chance it got at the sheer beauty of him.

Gosh, if he is the guy Feyre wants to set me up with, I am truly going to be blessed.

As the two finally reached the top step, Lucien glanced at Y/n.

"First time here?"

"Yup. In fact, I’m seeing Fey for the first time since we finished uni."

His brows rose. "Damn. How long has it been?"

She shrugged noncommittally. "Around two years. What about you? Your first time too?"

He nodded, then paused at the first door to meet her eyes when he answered. "I’ve recently started getting along with her family." he thought for a moment, then leaned closer, as if letting her in on a secret. "I was actually the friend of her previous boyfriend, but none of them liked him and so they didn’t trust me much either. But now they’re moving on and so am I."

Y/n did not know how to respond to that, trying to wrap her mind around how anyone could be mad at someone who seemed as nice as Lucien. But he spared her the struggle.

"That’s a nice cardigan. Where’d you get it from?" His eyes travelled down her body, his gaze appreciative as it landed on the pastel crocheted garment. "Maybe I could get a similar one. We can match."

Y/n blinked at him, then ducked her head, futilely trying to hide her blush.

"Um, I made it myself."

He remained silent for a moment, prompting her to meet his gaze once again.

"You’re kidding."

She blinked again. "Why would I?"

He huffed out a laugh, leaning back against the doorframe. "So, you’re telling me you’re pretty and talented?"

Y/n could not move if she wanted to. She could not think. She could not do anything but stare at him.

This man, one who looked like he belonged on the cover of vogue, was telling her she was pretty?

God help me.

She looked around, flustered by the tiny smile blooming on his face, cocky but also knowing. He knew the effect he had on her and the damned man was enjoying it too much.

"Well, I will let you rest now. After all, you need to get some energy back for later tonight."

If those words had come from anyone else, Y/n would have wondered if they were saying she looked tired and like shit, but coming from him, the words were nothing but caring, if a touch flirtatious.

Wait, was that an innuendo?

She did not have time to dwell on that part much before he stepped aside, swiping his arm toward the door behind him. "Take a look at both rooms, then pick one you want. I will wait."

Y/n dipped her head, trying not to blush even more when he opened the door for her and leaned back, letting her pass.

She was much too flustered to even look around the room, let alone see if she liked it or wanted the other room, so she just mumbled to him that she will stay in this one, that he could take the other room.

Y/n knew he was about to ask her if she was sure, but whatever he saw in her face had him nodding, stepping back out of the room, tugging the door close with him as he went.

"See you soon, sweetheart." His parting words were heavy with the same knowing lilt he had a few minutes back when he had been flirting with her. It made Y/n’s cheeks heat up, and she turned to the bed, plopping down and burying her face in the plush pillows.

He was flirting with me.

Maybe… Feyre was right about him. Maybe I should give him a chance.

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

After a light lunch and a few hours of rest, everyone had simultaneously gathered in the living room as if summoned by a silent command. Y/n had tried to sleep, and had accomplished the feat, but at the cost of tossing and turning every five minutes for an hour, her mind refusing to let her wind down and repeatedly playing the memories of Lucien flirting.

At least, she thought he was flirting. Y/n hoped she was not making a fool of herself for thinking that he was flirting while he simply was being kind.

She had gotten all of two hours of sleep before she shoved the covers off of her and decided to take a shower to freshen up, then she had proceeded to don a flowy sundress and walked downstairs. The hallways were empty, the only sign that she was not alone being the twins in the kitchen. They offered Y/n a smile before introducing themselves, then asked her if she needed anything.

Y/n had thought about it, then shook her head, telling them she just wanted to get some water. They graciously handed her a glass of it, despite her protests, and then they left her to her own devices.

She had just been sipping on it while staring at the sun setting when footsteps behind her let her know she was no longer alone, and she turned to look at Morrigan and Elain, who had walked down together. They offered her a smile, then sat along with her at the counter in swivelling chairs, the quiet comfortable and peaceful.

That was, before Cassian decided to grace them with his presence.

"Are Feyre and Rhys still not here?"

Y/n blinked, tearing her eyes away from the now violet horizon, barely any sliver of light visible, and gave him a smile. "Not yet."

He gagged. "They’re probably doing nasty stuff."

Nesta walked in with Gwyn and Azriel behind her, her eyebrows high.

"Like you don’t fuck."

He glared at Nesta. "Can you be a little more crass? I am trying to make new friends here."

Y/n hid her smile behind her cup, but considering it was a clear glass, she did not think it would work very well.

"So Y/n, what do you do during free time?"

Y/n set her now empty cup aside, turning all her attention to Cassian, who was done bickering with his fiance.

"I do crocheting while listening to podcasts, or I read when I just want to wind down. I also write."

He nodded appreciatively. "So you’re a creative person, huh."

"And she has a very pretty smile too."

Y/n felt her cheeks heating up already when she heard Lucien’s voice, but when she finally comprehended what he had said, she wondered if she’d just melt off.

God. Please, help me.

She tried not to meet his eyes, because even knowing him for barely a few hours, she knew he’d give her a knowing smirk, his eyes bright.

Cassian chuckled, and Y/n could feel everyone’s eyes on her.

Fuck.

Thankfully, Feyre and Rhysand finally arrived and took the attention away from her, and she felt like she could finally breathe again.

The couple asked what everyone wanted for dinner, bickering around for a few moments while Lucien, Elain, Azriel and Y/n watched.

Before long, Mor announced she was craving some barbecue, and when no one argued further, Rhys told everyone to gather on the back porch that faced the beach while he got the things out. When Y/n offered to help along with Feyre and Gwyn, Rhysand just told them to sit back and relax.

And then he dragged the other men with him.

Guess they won’t be getting any relaxing time.

The night passed almost too quickly to be natural, and Y/n already felt like she’d known these people for her whole life. Nesta and Gwyn refused to let anyone else talk to her because they were too busy asking her of all the books she’d read and inquiring whether she was planning on publishing.

Y/n could see Feyre pouting in the corner, but eventually Mor engaged her in a conversation, so Y/n’s guilt at not being able to give her friend enough time subsided.

When Nesta and Gwyn finally got distracted, Y/n leaned back, taking in the cool air when her neck prickled. Looking around, she met the gaze of Lucien from over the glowing barbeque, her cheeks flushing even when he hadn’t said or done anything. But he continued to look at her, the slightest tilt to those inviting lips.

Smug bastard.

When everything was cooked, Rhys called everyone to the outdoor dining table, the wood rich but warm, homey.

Y/n found two seats next to Gwyn, who beckoned her over. She smiled and had just settled down next to her new friend when she realised someone was sitting down next to her on the empty seat.

And it was not Feyre.

Mismatched eyes found her surprised gaze, and Lucien grinned at her.

"Lucien! That was my seat!"

He held eye contact with Y/n for a long moment before turning to a fuming Feyre. "Well, you can sit on my lap, darlin’. But I am already too comfortable in this seat to move."

Feyre huffed, the perfect picture of annoyance. But Y/n could see the glint in her eyes that told her that Feyre was having way too much fun right now watching Y/n blush.

When Feyre turned away to pout at her grinning fiance, Lucien leaned close to Y/n. "Or maybe, you can sit on my lap and I can give this seat to Feyre?"

Y/n turned away, trying to hide the warm flush on her skin at that. "I think Feyre will find herself another seat."

He chuckled quietly but let the topic go after that.

In the end, Feyre sat at the seat on the right of the head seat of the table, next to Lucien. Rhysand sat at the head, opposite Azriel, who occupied the seat on the other side of Gwyn, refusing to leave her side.

Everyone started to serve themselves, but just as Y/n was contemplating what to get, Lucien leaned past her, his scent enveloping her along with his warmth, and grabbed some grilled chicken.

"Try this, it’s good." With that, he put a few pieces on her plate, then continued to serve himself. He seemed so nonchalant, so careless as if he hadn’t just set Y/n’s heart on fire.

Like he wasn’t the reason she could not think straight.

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

Y/n did not know how the days passed so quickly. Agreed, it was a four day getaway, and yet it felt like barely any time passed and it was already the day they had to return home.

If she had to be honest, she did not want to leave the bed. Her limbs felt like they were tied down, heavy metal placed on top to stop her from moving. She felt so tired, as if her body was trying to stay here just a little longer, and maybe being tired would get her to stay.

Which was the reason why she forced herself to push off the covers and set her legs on the cold, wood floor and traipsed sleepily towards the window to check if she had missed the sunrise again. She had been wanting to watch it since they all arrived, but every day for the past three days, she had slept away without a care.

She’d had to set an additional alarm to wake up earlier.

The sky outside was dark, almost blue. But she knew dawn wasn’t far off.

She hurried to freshen up, then walked down the stairs to get herself a glass of water.

After she had acquired her drink, she stepped out and settled down on the two seater swing on the back porch, under her own room’s balcony. The air was chilly, but not enough to have her want to get up and bring a shawl or something to keep herself warm.

She also felt really lazy as she began sipping on her water slowly.

Gosh, I love water.

She refrained from drinking anything that was not water or milk.

She was also lactose intolerant, but, who really cares about that.

Y/n had just leaned back, wrapping both her hands around her cup when she heard movement behind her. But she let herself relax, knowing it probably was Lucien.

That was one of the many things she’d learned about him in the past days.

He always woke up at dawn. He apparently then did some light gym when he could before breakfast, to keep himself in that drool worthy body.

His words, not mine.

Okay… Maybe mine.

And maybe, just maybe, Y/n had wanted to witness her first ever sunrise, had wanted to wake up earlier even though she disliked being up early just so she could spend some extra time with him.

Maybe.

It didn’t take him long to settle down beside her, his own cup of steaming beverage in hand. It looked like green tea to Y/n, who’d had experience with making it for her father nearly every day.

"Good morning." His voice was rough, the sleep evident in it.

Don’t blush, don't blush. He’s just said good morning.

She blushed. Just a little. "Morning."

"Sleep well?"

Y/n nodded, watching him from her peripherals as the swing dipped slightly with his added weight.

"Still sleepy though. First time I woke up by myself to watch the sunrise." She paused for a moment, glancing at him. His lips were curled to one side as he stared out over the beach, his gaze fixated to the horizon. She shrugged. "Usually it’s by my family dragging me and bullying me into waking up early."

He huffed out a chuckle, but after that let silence settle between them.

The air was so peaceful, it brought a sense of calm over Y/n.

Maybe she could get used to this.

The two sat and watched as the sun rose, so slowly but also too fast. Y/n wished to enjoy this time forever, wanted to continue taking in the soft orange and pink hues that painted the sky as the glowing ball of fire rose higher in the sky. Wanted to bask in the presence that nestled into the pillows next to her, wanted to ink the sound of his soft breathing permanently into her existence.

It was over too soon, and even though Y/n savoured every second of it, she could not help but feel a sense of longing the moment Lucien straightened. She did not want to let go of this moment just yet.

He seemed to think so too.

Just when she thought he’d get up and walk back inside, he turned his head to stare at her.

"So, who’s the cute guy you were talking about last night with Fey?"

Y/n’s lips quirked up, a sudden burst of boldness spurring her on. But she paused as she thought back to Feyre’s words the previous night.

"Do you like him?"

"I don’t know what you’re talking about."

"Oh please, I see the way you blush when he’s near. I see the way he follows you around like a lost puppy. I am not naive, sweet pea."

Y/n sighed. "I guess he’s cute."

Feyre squealed. "You need to go on a date with him."

If Y/n gave him the truthful answer, would she be making a fool of herself? Would she be doing herself the biggest favour ever? Did he even like her that way?

Finally, she decided that if she never tried, she might regret it later.

Feeling her gaze on him, she turned, knowing he waited for her answer. He sported a cheeky grin, eyes half lidded, as if he was more relaxed than he’d ever been.

She leaned in conspiratorially.

"You."

His grin faded, and he sat up straighter.

"What?"

"You’re the cute guy we were talking about."

He blinked, and Y/n did her best to hide her smug smile at the way his ears darkened with colour.

"Are you joking or flirting?" he mumbled, brows furrowed.

Oh, so he can flirt, but can’t take the flirting?

She told herself to remember that tidbit for later.

Y/n could not help it then. She let loose the smirk that broke out of her, and leaned closer still, so close that she could feel his breath on her face, so close that she knew that if she were to inhale, his lingering cologne from the previous day would take over every one of her senses.

Maintaining eye contact, she whispered.

"Flirting."

He did not move anything except for his eyes as she stood, his gaze following her like a physical caress. Just before she turned the corner out of his eyesight, she glanced back at him.

And winked.

She watched as a disbelieving grin formed on his lips, and then decided that was enough flirting for a year at least and ascended the stairs back to her room.

Feyre will lose her mind.

As soon as she closed the door behind her, she no longer felt that burst of confidence that came out of nowhere. Suddenly, she was a blushing mess as she shoved her face into the pillows and tried to calm her racing heart.

Her phone pinged then.

Feyre: ‘Lucien just texted me asking for your number. Is it okay if I give it?’

Y/n bit her lip to keep away the flustered smile. Just as she told Feyre to give it to him, she texted back.

Feyre: ‘Is there something I need to know? Why are you up so early anyway?’

Y/n decided that was enough. Feyre could wait.

Who’s the cute guy?

You.

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

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Lucien Vanserra Taglist: @mirandasidefics @fell-in-luvs @tele86

[pjsk-headcanons]

HI ITS GLOBE ANON...SHINONOMES AHHHH (apologies for dying lol kind of wanted to get more art sided stuff done (i didnt))

shinonomes: distant

-basically, it was around middle school ena time when akito had that little line between "real" and "fake" start to blur

-ena knew he hated soccer but couldn't bring herself to say it to him. felt really guilty about it because after a while, she couldn't even look him in the eyes

-mental state was already pretty bad because of this, and then she got "the talk" from her teacher and then her dad confronted her too. she ended up throwing her art supplies out

-akito found out why she was having such a hard time, but he was already so deep into the spiral that the only thing he could do was avoid her

-they ended up just falling apart. they're so distant that they don't see each other at all. no phone numbers, just occasional notes on a counter. no birthday gifts

-can you tell they are my favourites (they are the ones on my display profile....hhhh)

summer festival, rekindled flames - post 1st anni

character boost: ena (focus), haruka, airi, akito, stage miku

-SUMMER FESTIVAL HAHAHA. pretty sure ena is not gonna have a good time. fashion and all

- ena didn't call akito to get her more comfortable shoes this time, who knew if she did what would happen next

-stage miku canonically likes food, like alot, so she is looking around with ena and admiring food

-airi and haruka meet in this one :D airi is preforming a small stand-up play, haruka is preforming a solo show

-akito simply admires the shows. ena sees him once and freaks out

-some enairi (platonic??) bonding maybe. a little bit of shinonome sibling backstory reveal

animal care? kamiyama clubfest! - post 2nd anni

character boost: rui (focus), akito, ena, nene, theater len

-literally what it sounds like i mean. reads i. mean text. i mean looks like i mea

-kamiyama is having a lil festival where clubs hold a lil stand for people to try out something related to the club so people join!!!

-since this is pre-3rd anni, the list goes like this

akito "helps out at various sports clubs"

ena doesn't have one. you gotta be kidding me

nene has film

rui has greening (for anyone who doesn't know, its like making more environmentally friendly stuff)

-rui gets kicked out of hosting the stand (everyone fears he will do something funny) and decides to look around

-animal care happens. seperate timing but this is probably where we learn akito's cynophobia

-meets ena (wanted to look around), akito, and nene seperately. theater len almost gets caught in open looking at a short film but nene gets him to hide right before akito pops up

-silly event, with some sibling mentions

blurry snapshots from that yesteryear - pre 4th anni

character boost: akito (focus), ena, an, minori, city MEIKO

-i love the word yesteryear. it doesn't even make sense (according to the oxford dictionary) in this occasion but i had to use it at some point ok

-akito goes to weekend garage and meets minori and an. minori mentions there being a live concert for stage○•showtime (yapping about how cool shizuku is)

-thinks huh. maybe i should go watch

-thinks for a bit too long in front of the two. an knows its normal behaviour and minori freaks out, talks to city MEIKO

-MEIKO says to keep an eye on him. if its that worrying

-day of preformance. minori fangirling and akito *DROPS FULL SHINONOMES FLASHBACK*

-ena spots him. oh no!!! gotta scram

-event story ends with ena coming home and her spotting a lil gift on the counter. she smiles a bit at it

sibling trust ranks are next + the asks in that one ask from a long time ago (sorry again. school sucks but there is a break soon so more content hopefully)

AAÀAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA have a great day mod!

🌐 anon

[eijirousbestie]

YOUR ART MAJOR STORY WAS FIRE!! IM AN ART MAJOR AND WE HAD TO DO DETAILED PORTRAITS THIS MORNING AS AN ACTIVITY OVER THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND ALL I COULD THINK ABOUT WAS YOUR STORY 😭😭😭😭 anyway i had the vision of Y/N doing a portrait of bakugou for her class ❤️❤️❤️❤️

AHH THANK YOU SM hearing someone thought abt my story in their day to day life is actually insane so thank you for reading!! Love to see a fellow art major around here🤝🏽I hope this story is to your liking i tried my best😭<33

“Can I draw you?”

this is kinda long (I got too into it lol)

pulling at the heartstrings a bit here

he’s a willing participant???

unorganized dishes

golden hour

* * *

Being an art student had its perks. For one thing you didn’t have “real” homework like other classes and you could spend majority of your time creating something new. In other cases, being an art student was dreadful, and today proved that to be true.

Walking into class and setting your bag down, you sit at your easel and scroll on your phone as your professor waits for other students to trickle in before he takes attendance. The sound of a chair scooting can be heard as your professor makes his presence known and calls role. He finishes and places his clipboard down, clapping his hands together with enthusiasm.

“Good morning guys! First things first, I just wanted to say you all did a great job at critique this past Tuesday. I was very impressed with the outcome of all your pieces. Now for those of you who have checked the class schedule, you’ll know we have our Portrait 1 assignment due at the end of next week. I’ll give further instructions and we’ll go ahead and get started on those today.�� He grabs a stack of papers, assuming to be said detailed instructions for your next assignment. As soon as he hands you a copy, you skim through the premise of what you’re going to be doing.

Portrait 1 Assignment

1. Pick a subject you will be referencing to for your portrait. (No you cannot use a reference online. It has to be someone you can poke).

2. Arrange a time outside of class to meet with your subject to begin your sketch.

3. Pick a feature of your subject to enhance in your final drawing. You can add color, darken line weight or distort the feature you chose, but the rest of the portrait should be in the style of a sketch.

This drawing should be done on an 18x24 sheet of paper from your sketchbook and no smaller.

You internally cringe at the thought of having to snatch someone from campus to sit with you for hours just so you can draw them. You instantly begin to think of people you know who you can draw. You take your phone out and begin typing up a message to a friend of yours, asking when they’re free. Much to your dismay, they inform you that they have work directly after class all this week and won’t be able to help. You understand, but now you’ve got yourself stuck and you absolutely refuse to ask a stranger. For the remainder of the period, all you can do is mindlessly write a list of names and the pros and cons of their potential availability.

* * *

Sitting in the living room after getting back to the dorms, you rest after having no success trying to recruit anyone to be your reference. The dorms are practically empty as everyone is out doing something. Working, training, shopping. Everything you don’t do. Essentially losing hope for the day, you resort to lounging on the couch. Cozy pajamas nearly lulling you to sleep. However before you can slip into the best nap of your life, clanging from the kitchen startles you awake. Whispered curses soon follow, ultimately giving away who caused the noise. Getting up from your oh so comfy spot, you make your way to the kitchen to investigate. Peeking a head in the doorway, you see a rather frazzled Bakugou picking up pots and pans that had fallen to the floor.

Looking at his bent form, you speak up. “You aight?” He picks up the last pot and places it on the counter before responding, fully facing you.

“I’m good. My bad if I woke you.” You give a shrug and lean your hip on the doorframe, arms crossed over your chest.

“Nah you’re fine. Wasn’t fully knocked out anyway. What were you doing in here?”

“Reorganizing. For whatever reason, idiots around here can’t understand that stacking dishes causes shit to fall. Just proved my point too.” His eyes fall on the various pans on the counter he was in the process of arranging. You give a chuckle and move to help put them away.

“Say it louder for the people in the back.”

“Yeah well apparently they ‘don’t respond well to yelling.’ Whatever the fuck that means.” He nags as you both place each dish in their respective places.

“Gotta give em a glare or side eye to get the message across,” you joke.

“Shit only goes so far. But if looks could kill everybody here would be on their deathbed.”

“Jesus man, gruesome much?” You let out a heartier chuckle, actually entertained by his empty threats.

“S’called being self-aware.” He leans against the now empty counter and folds his arms across his chest. A silly thought crosses your mind. A glimpse of hope even. You decide to pursue it.

“Speaking of looks,” you start off tentatively, “I could really use yours if you’ll let me.”

He gives you a half-curious look, left eyebrow slightly raised as he side eyes you. “The hell’s that mean?”

You’re not sure whether it’s the desperation talking or the fact that you’re half asleep, but you immediately hit him with your dilemma.

“Well… can I draw you?” It seems like minutes that go by before he responds with a sharp click of his tongue.

“Lay off the drugs huh? Shit’s got you talkin outta your ass.”

“Bakugou please! I need a reference for an assignment and I’d really appreciate if you’d let me draw you. It won’t take long I swear I’m fast!” Your hands are clasped together as you ask for his cooperation.

“The hell’d you wanna draw me for? Plenty other people you could ask.”

You don’t have it in your heart to mention nobody else was available to help you. It’d be like blatantly telling him he was the last option and you don’t want to potentially upset him by saying that. It’s not necessarily true either, you just didn’t think he would be up for it in the first place so you didn’t want to bother him. He was your saving grace really, never the last option.

“Well you’ve got great eyes. And perfect eyebrows too. So it’s kinda hard not to want to draw you. But seriously, if you’ll let me, I’ll do my very best to capture the best parts of you. Please?” If you hadn’t known any better, you could’ve sworn you saw his hands clutch the counter in a death grip. He’s quiet for a moment. Two moments. Then he shakes his head in disbelief and his eyes sweep to look at anything else but you.

“Fine. Just don’t make me look like shit got me?” A light look of embarrassment covers his face. It’s endearing.

“I promise.” You smile a wide grin, relief relaxing your shoulders. “You mind if we get started tonight? I’m kinda behind as it is.”

He gives a nod and a hum in response. You tell him to stay put as you grab your sketchbook. He takes a seat on the couch and watches the slow sunset. It’s golden hour and the living room is filled with warm oranges and yellows as the sun is close to calling it a day. You come back, supplies in hand and before you can put your things down, you catch Bakugou as he gazes out of the window, the setting sun casting onto his face. With his hand propped under his chin, he looks ethereal. His red eyes now a vermilion as the rays reflect on them. It highlights his jawline, casting shadows that make the edges prominent. His hair aglow in the light, tufts of blonde now appearing marigold. You don’t realize how silly you must look staring at him until his eyes flicker to your frozen form. His gravelly voice pulling you out of your thoughts.

“Got your stuff?” He doesn’t move from his spot as he asks. You gather your bearings and nod.

“Yeah uh I got everything I need. We can start now if you’re ready?” You walk over to the couch where he sits, setting up your easel right in front of him.

“Mmh go ahead. Is there a certain way you wanna do this or?”

“No no what you’re doing now is fine. It’s actually better if you’re comfortable. We might be here a while, but let me know when you need a break.” He gives a nod of approval and you’re off, hands sketching and eyes darting back and forth between easel and subject. Soft scratching noises from graphite on paper filled the silence. By this point you were detailing the features of his hand holding up his face. Neat nail beds and cleanly trimmed. Bruised and scarred knuckles from countless hours of training. A strong neck that connected to an even stronger jaw, probably chiseled by the gods themselves.

You’d be lying to yourself if you thought drawing him would be a chore. It was actually enjoyable. There was no need for trivial conversation. Just you sitting there, drawing him as he let you. Him trusting you to capture his very being with only a pencil. It was a beautiful experience and you couldn’t be more grateful that you both were a part of it.

[robotsrawesome64]

ohhh please can you do cod match up for me?? i'm female, german, 27, aquarius and work as an artist and project manager at an agency specialised in classical music. at work i'm very organized, detail oriented and efficient, but in private i like to slow things down. i guess you could say i have two personalities: at work i like getting things done and have no problem arguing with people, but in private i literally hate calling the doctor's office lol.

it's very hard for me to take my brain off work and usually only achieve that by getting engrossed in a show or painting. i like cooking, not so much baking. my hobbies are reading, going for walks (how very german of me), playing with my cat. i can be very funny, but i am more introverted and a very good listener. my love language is acts of service.

my cod favourites are price, ghost and könig, but at the moment i'm leaning more towards könig.

thank you very much and lots of kisses 😍

and I AGREE::: (shorter and sweet ones now SORRYYt_t Cue some HCs/drabbley things:)

 @/fairypurgatory on pin & @/jolvelyn on twt [art]

W: Intimidating newer man in your house O God, dark if you think about it (sprinkle sprinkle glitter sparkles on the war criminal), abrupt end

◈ Okay. Neighbour. Neighbour König. (AARRURURURURURU GET MARRIED GET MARRIED GET- GET--)

◈ After many sweet-talkings outside your respective doors, y'all had a date due at your place. If you cooked for him- omigod. Social expectations be damned, the clear thought and skill behind it… When he looked back up at you, eyes boring into yours, you were half worried you'd bought a serial killer home? (Which I mean, technically yes, don't ask too much about his job history-) But no, his ridiculously intense, maliciously-coded gaze was that one of determined enrapturement. ◈ It was an amusing juxtaposition to see him meet your cat. Tough guy, tryna be smooth, leaning on the side of the doorframe.. Before his intense focus was interrupted by something fluffy and he hit his head and almost cried. He's not the best with animals, but after enough visits they become casually inseparable, and a key part of the cuddle pile. If your cat wasn't spoiled already they were now. Hey, the pair of you aren't half bad at taking care of something.

◈ Doubly fell in love with you when he saw you popping off at work. He got called in for something important you left at home, god forbid, but of course he had your back, emergency key and all. He knows all too well the importance of things needing to go to plan. But forgive him if he just stared in awe like a motherfucker seeing you go off on someone.

◈ Oh, don't you worry. When your teeth are clenching looking down at your practice's phone number for that long overdue appointment- it's right there, just a click away,- König will snatch it from you. Mixed feelings, perhaps his confidence a little infantilizing, but… it's like a vice is undoubtedly unclamped as he waddles away with the dreaded compressed waiting room music (as if it was a totally normal thing to do). He'd confirm any details prior bending over behind you, rubbing your shoulder and cooing in your ear about it. Because of course you can do it, darling, but he's always there~…

◈ Takes great smug pride in a)taking care of you, if that's something you want- and b)being with you. Uh, yeah, the badass work-focused bigshot is his? And putty in his arms? That's right. So proud of showing you off to others at any possible convenience. 'Tries' to be subtle about it. Keyword 'tries'.

◈ He needs a break too. Proudly, toxic-masculinely denies any interest at first, but would ultimately happily waste away binging something with you. Colours and shapes reflecting off the TV onto his narrow, goofy lil' glasses, eyebrows slightly furrowed in focus as he guillibly complains about some ragebait. Uses you as a human weighted blanket laid on him, supporting your back with his chest.

◈ König's a prevalent yapper during whatever you do together. He plans as much as you'll allow, whisking you off for dinners, lunches- all expenses paid (or halfsies). Or elaborate hiking trails he insists you join him on, though sometimes he likes to choose the ones with tricky bits as an excuse to help or carry you.

[ihateapbiology]

begin again

(yes from the Taylor swift song but not completely lol)

part 3 to the exs to lovers- part two

You and Julien had both been texting the rest of the day and decided on a restaurant you both had always loved. It served burgers, shakes etc the works. You threw on a pair of mom jeans and a light sweater avoiding looking in the mirror because you knew you’d second guess yourself. You were going on a date with Julien. With your Julien. The thought felt too good to be true like some idealistic dream that would soon be bashed to pieces. What if you guys were completely different people now? What if she was still mad about you leaving and she just did this to get back at you? What if she realized she was too good for you? You took a deep breath in and grabbed your phone to see if she was close. She was. You heard a knock and opened the door to see her smiling face.

“Hey gorgeous” she smiles.

“Hey yourself” you pull her into a hug.

You all head to her car and she turns on some music from some artist you had never heard of before. You laugh.

“what’s funny huh?” She asks you with a smile.

“You and your pretentious music” you tease- you actually loved her music taste but liked to give her a hard time about it.

“Pretentious? Says you” she laughs “remind me where you went to school again.”

“Just a small liberal arts law school around Boston” you joke. The banter felt so right, so natural, so you guys. You all chat about recent artists you guys had been listening to, you ask Julien about different celebrities she had met an and if they were actually good people. It’s perfect.

You pull up to the diner and you take a seat. “God I missed this place” you mention.

“Yeah I’ve been a couple times but it’s not the same without you” she says.

“Well I haven’t been here in 3 years so I’m ready to eat.”

You both order a milkshake and a salad and some other sides.

“Oh god this shake is not as good as I remember it” you giggle clutching your stomach and pushing your chocolate shake away.

She laughs “here have some of mine.”

You dip your straw into hers trying hard to ignore just how “couple-y” the action was. Your faces just inches apart you swore you could smell the mint of her toothpaste.

“So…in Boston did you date anyone? I know you said you aren’t seeing anyone now but did you ever.”

“Uh super casually I went on like a couple dates with these two girls but both of them just weren’t really my type. No bad blood or anything” you shrug- they were nice and pleasant but you didn’t feel a spark with them. “I think I was just…also not really in the place for a relationship.”

“That’s nice sometimes casual is the best” she remarks “are you ready for a relationship now do you think.”

You think wanting to be fully honest and then nod. “With the right person 100% yes” you give her a cheeky pointed glance. “What about you? You ready to retire from the rockstar life and settle down.”

She rolls her eyes “oh yeah you know me different girl every night.”

You laugh “wow such a womanizer.”

“But in all seriously you know with The Tour being done and me being in a good place I can say I am in a good place for one” she says.

“That reminds me you gotta tell me about touring!!” You exclaim. As she happily speaks about it you feel her hand getting closer and closer to your hand. You know this move from the early days of your relationship. You softly move your pinky to touch hers and you hear her briefly stutter before continuing on.

“Oh was that a stutter Baker?” You tease.

“yeah yeah yeah” she rolls her eyes and continues speaking.

The night is perfect, you argue for who should pay, she wins somehow being more stubborn than you.

As you walk out you guys are fully holding hands now.

“I don’t want this night to end” you say softly.

“Let’s walk a bit yeah?” She smiles.

Her hand grips yours like she’s afraid that you’ll get away from her, your steps fall into rhythm. “God I did miss Tennessee in the spring” you say leaning your head down to rest by hers.

“Yeah I bet you missed actually having a spring instead of just a second winter” she jokes. “Hey by the way when is that date for your graduation?” “Mmm sometime in May I forget the exact date.”

“Let me know ok? You been studying for the BAR?” She grins.

“Oh god yeah don’t remind me.” You bury your face into her shoulder.

You walk for about 30 min more and then she drives you back to your current place.

“tonight was perfect” you smile.

“Thank you for being with me” her big brown eyes look so deeply into yours.

“You free tomorrow or the next day? I don’t wanna be clingy” you laugh.

“I’m free the day after tmrw but I’ll definitely call you tmrw” she explains.

You both stare at eachother smiling like fools.

You feel gentle tattooed hands cup your face softly trying to pull you down to her.

It’s a soft peck, chaste but full of love. You both pull away and giggle like idiots.

“Goodnight Y/N text me tonight” she bashfully says.

“Text me when you get home drive safe.”

You close the door and close your eyes. That girl would be the death of you.

[lemonsrosesandlavender]

Writer Interview Tag

Thanks for the tags, @darkurgetrash and @kimberbohwrites <3 I really enjoyed reading yours! I tag… hmmm, who hasn’t done it yet? @dutifullylazybread @commander-krios and @redroomroaving ? (And consider this a free tag if you want it!)

When did you start writing?

I honestly couldn’t say when my very first act of creative writing was, I feel like I’ve been writing on and off my whole life (barring like 5 years from 16-21). When I was 8 or 9 is the first I really remember though. I kept a diary religiously at that time (yes, it’s hilarious), and also attempted several stories that went nowhere, including a glorious portal fantasy about two children who are isekai’d into a kingdom of cats and have to face off against an evil cat stealing wizard. As you can tell, I love cats, lmao. And I have always loved portal fantasies and isekai. A through-line all the way to Planar Tears!

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?

Oooh. Well, there are very few genres I *wouldn’t* read, and I’ve only written so much, so I suppose most genres currently sit in this pile for me? I can’t really see myself writing original sci-fi, despite loving it as a genre, because I think it really lives or dies on having an excellent concept more than a lot of other forms of fiction. Short of being struck with a lightning bolt of inspiration, I think I’d lack purpose. But I love, love, love science fiction. Isaac Asimov, Philip K Dick, N.K. Jemisin, Octavia Butler, John Wyndham, Marge Piercy, Ted Chiang… all of these SF authors’ stories have a place in my heart.

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?

No-one has yet compared me to anyone. I often realise that I’m going a little too Austen in my work, and gently push myself to modernise - but I guess that speaks to the fact that whilst I admire her, I don’t want to exactly emulate her? I love the way she gently teases her characters, the way she makes clear the contrast between what they believe and what’s actually true without being cruel. But I don’t want to write a pastiche.

On the other end of the spectrum, I recently re-read My Year of Rest and Relaxation and was reminded of how much I love Otessa Moshfegh’s cold, somewhat brutal cataloguing of the world around her character; her sparse but vivid imagery (casting aside a pair of shoes like “dead crows”) and her unlikeable but extremely readable MC. I should read more of her work!

Basically, I love to read and have a wide spectrum of influences, but I’m not aiming to emulate any single one of them. I would say my writing swings between archaic and more efficient depending on whether I’ve read classic or modern literature most recently, because I love both.

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

I have many. On my phone anywhere - especially the commute - and at home on a laptop, either sat at our dining table (we live in a rental flat in an expensive city, a proper desk would be a luxury), or on the sofa with my girlfriend and flatmate sometimes contributing "suggestions" lol. If I'm in a writing phase, which I have been for a year - every space is a writing space.

What's your most effective way to muster up a muse?

Hmmm. I am rarely in a completely creatively fallow period - unless I'm just straight up obsessed with a game/TV show/the gym, in which case I'm busy having a good time in other ways - but I'm not always in the writing zone. I like textile crafts and sewing, and art hobbies generally. I guess that is to say, if the writing muse is not present, I rarely miss it; I'm probably thinking about something else.

(Barring the times when my mental health is fucked, but even then, I'm probably throwing myself really hard into a hobby as a distraction. I'm an all or nothing person). When I'm struggling with writer's block on say, a chapter of a long fic, it's usually because it's not quite headed in the right direction, and I need to backtrack, take stock of where my characters are emotionally, and try again in a different direction. Honestly... I know it's advised against by some, but sometimes I just have to sit down and make myself write just to figure out what's wrong. Just do it, and rip it up later if you have to. (**put it in a separate doc in case you can use it elsewhere. you probably wrote it for a reason. DO NOT TILT OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH AND DELETE YOUR SHIT, NO MATTER HOW FRUSTRATING).

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?

Number one is “coming to terms with making mistakes in your vocation, and recognising that you are more than your talent at it.” It’s the reason that draws me to Rolan in the first place, because it mirrors my own life experiences very closely. I was somewhat picked on and harassed in school (shit that many of us have experienced) and built my whole personality around being smart and having my life planned out as a shield against it. I was going to do [thing], I was really good at it, and it was all clear. Not to mention I loved this subject. So when I got into a prestigious university my life was sorted, right? Except... all of the hideous self-esteem issues and perfectionism I'd been papering over came crashing down all at once, and I was in an incredibly unforgiving environment, in a very male-dominated subject where other (male) students would literally be like huh, isn't it weird more women don't study this subject? Why do YOU think that is? I felt like I was worthless, stupid and useless, and that I stuck out like a sore thumb - and I was carrying the weight of every woman who wanted to do my subject and was afraid they weren't good enough. My life plans crumbled before my eyes, and I was severely depressed, alongside other health issues - which my uni did not give two fucks about, at all.

Which is to say, I draw many parallels between my own arc and Rolan's - being an outsider, the precarity of having your own talent validated only to have your entire future rest on it, and being vulnerable to really shitty messaging about how hard I should be working and how it was obviously my fault if I wasn't succeeding already, when they were one of the best universities around. And then I realised I was writing similar experiences with Catrin and SW Tav - discovering, and appreciating, that you're more than this one crutch you cling to, this singular skill that you desperately need to hold you above the maelstrom of life. And I promise that, like Rolan, this has a happy ending - I personally took some years out after battling through undergrad, faced my demons, and returned to the subject that I loved as a far more well-rounded person, better equipped to deal with failure. I'm not perfect, and I never will be. I'm neurotic and perfectionistic and all the rest. And that's probably why I keep writing, and exploring this theme - to remind myself that I want to avoid that trap, and to deal with the ways I feel when I'm in it. I was gonna write about kink here too, but I think this is enough, lol.

What is your reason for writing?

Joy. I love exercising my creative drive. And I love re-reading what I've written!

Obsession. These fuckers, these plot points, occupy every spare inch of brain and will not stop until I vent them.

Learning. Honing my skills is a frustration and a pleasure.

Connection. I'm so, so grateful to have people who read and care about my work. It means the world.

Horny. Um. Yeah. I have no further explanation for this one lmao. Except. Fantasies are amazing, but then writing them down makes them even better because now you're really thinking about the specifics and those specifics come to mind more easily next time you're [REDACTED. CABBAGE STOP. ENOUGH!!!]

Is there any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating?

I can’t pick just one! A balanced diet of comments is the best ;)

I joke but - I love them all. Shouting about the plot? You're invested, and I'm grateful. "Additional kudos" twenty chapters in? You've stuck with me this far, and I'm grateful. I guess if I had to pick a few:

1. Strong emotional responses. Kicking my feet/biting my keyboard/stressed/blushing/screaming - whatever fits the mood of the scene. I’m so happy my writing evoked strong feelings. That’s a good chunk of the point, right?

2. Writing analysis. Picking out individual lines or highlighting certain aspects - characterisation, dramatic tension, etc. The day someone said that I "had a knack for showing character in a single action" and then provided examples, I nearly exploded. Augh. I particularly love comments on my OCs because they're especially precious to me. My own brain children, and you LIKE them? heaven for reader. heaven for reader for 1000 years.

3. “I should be sleeping but instead I read this” AND I AM KISSING YOU. That’s all.

4. Just straight up compliments. "I love this" thank you I'm crying. ahhhhhhh. Cute lil kudos graphics (you know who you are). I'm over the moon you enjoy my work. <3

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

Well, I know for certain that a large swathe of my readers perceive me as “the one who writes good subby Rolan porn” and frankly? I love that reputation. If nobody appreciated the SFW elements of my work, I might feel differently, because thoughtful storytelling is also really important to me - but I feel seen in that regard too, so I can delight in knowing my writing has a distinctive flavour. Kinky chilli ice cream, spicy and sweet.

I would also love to hope my readers think of me fondly when they get the next long fic email, and are excited to continue the story. Oh, and I hope my readers enjoy chatting in my comment section, because I do. All I can aim for is to be the friendly author who "rites gud". Fingers crossed I meet that bar :)

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

You know what? I might not have said this once upon a time, but I actually think I’m pretty decent at plotting. I think I wind various threads together quite well, and with purpose.

I think I’m pretty good at observing character too. I hope. I’ve written so much Rolan that he’s really taken on a life of his own, but I do often rewatch his cutscenes (I know, such a chore 😉) and think I have a good sense for him. I also think that although Catrin started out difficult to write, I developed a very distinct character for her too, which I’m glad about.

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely for yourself, or a mix of both?

90% of what I’m writing is for me. I want it to be the best it can be, for me; I want it to cover the themes I care about. I want to tell the story in my head. Before BG3, I wrote for a teeny tiny fandom, inaugurating its fandom tag, and that inoculated me a little against writing for stats because well, thirty kudos felt like an INCREDIBLE achievement in that fandom.

Also, I want to write my kinky filth and not dilute it. That means actively CHOOSING not to worry about whether people are put off, because they absolutely, certainly will be in cases.

However, I do also care about my readers; I love comments and I want to give them the best story I can. I really enjoy my NSFW prompts; since my tumblr connections know the baseline of what I’m into, they can throw out AMAZING ideas that I love writing and am deeply grateful for. I’ve also definitely pushed harder on fics and oneshots because I knew a particular commenter or mutual was super excited for them ❤️ (shout out to my piss kink cheerleader lol, and everyone who has kindly - or ferally - expressed interest in my longfics).

How do you feel about your own writing?

Mostly very good! I do struggle with writer’s block sometimes, but my particular combination of perfectionism and obstinacy means I don’t tend to publish my work until I’m happy with it. I can see imperfections in my work, especially my past work, but I do genuinely enjoy the process of learning even if it frustrates me sometimes. I really enjoy re-reading what I’ve written later, because by the time it gets out there into the world, I’ve always beaten it into something I’m proud of.

I can't deny that I do, occasionally, get bitten by the little green monster though. Seeing someone else's Rolan writing get called "the best" or whatever has me nursing a tiny stab of pain. And I know it's valid - I'm not *the* best writer of all time, I'm just writing my reasonably-good stories out here, but I can't deny that small oof. (I'm tipsy so you're getting rather honest Cabbage tonight). I'm also very aware that I get many wonderful comments and treasure them, so I just accept my limitations a bit and try not to think too much about other peoples' writing that is along similar lines to my own. You're all writing beautiful stuff and I support you, but I will go NUTS if I spend my life reading closely-related fic. (If I have read your fic, know I fought my inner demons to do it, lol). Idk. I write what I want to write, as well as I can, and I'm grateful that people want to read it. Seriously. You have no idea how much every bookmark and subscription and lovely comment mean to me <3 And all I can do is my best to master this lovely art form and carve out from the marble an approximation of what I see in my head.

[bluebeads-art]

your art is so amazing !!! i adored the 3d printed stuff (as someone who has had to design myself 3d printed merch before because i don't usually have much access to the merch in my fandom lol), it's so good?? and all your coloring is beautiful <3

all this to say it might not seem like i reblog much but rest assured all the stuff i liked (or didn't) went into my queue a few times over hehehe. i LOVE your art it's amazing <3

wishing you luck with the identity and health stuff, even if it doesn't get better i hope you find happiness within it 🫡

gah this got away from me sorry for the ramble

aaaaaaa I saw this message in a notification on my phone, said "I'll read that when I actually have time to reply," then the notification got dismissed somehow and if there's no notification prompt to remind me of something, it no longer exists to me. It's been a month I'm so sorry ^^;;

Thank you so much! I wish it was easier to convert more of my stuff to be 3D printable, but my usual modeling style is not watertight in the slightest and disregards gravity entirely. 😆 3D modeling has always been really cool to me because there's so many different workflows depending on what you're trying to make. Keeps things from getting stale!

Speaking of differences, I feel like people don't tend to mention my coloring. :0 I think my line art usually steals the show, heh. I used to be a lot more conscious about color theory and shading when I was younger, but these days there's no thoughts, only vibes 😂

Ok the line, "even if it doesn't get better i hope you find happiness within it" hit me unexpectedly hard (in a good way). Any nice messages I get always means a ton to me, but while I don't seem to be able to articulate why at the moment, I think that line will stick with me for much longer than usual. Thank you so much ♥

---

Speaking more generally (this message just gave me a good excuse to talk, heh)- spoilers; the artist in my brain refuses to die. So after, like, a literal year of not touching it, I've started working again on a 3D modeling project that I started in 2021 that has been haunting me ever since. Been trying to redesign a robot OC of mine Rayner, and I'm really particular about wanting his joints to work in a physical space instead of bending the rules artistically. I'm Really bad at designing complex hard surface objects in flat 2D though. However, there's a reason artists tell you not to character design in 3D, and that's because it's slow, it's easy to lose design cohesion, and most importantly it just sucks, awful workflow. But I am Doing it. And while I was super stuck for years and almost developed a friggin phobia of the project, I am now Doing It. And it's actually working out this time. The 3D model itself is MILES from being done, but the design almost is, and while that's a boring end result for other people, it represents a huge milestone and accomplishment for me in many ways.

I've been drawing a little bit lately too! But I feel my social media hiatus has given me a healthier relationship with posting? Like I have a few doodles that I could either post now or post soon, but I don't feel the same pressure to anymore? Where even if I never post them, I think I'm fine with that. I've always thought I made art for myself, but that's not exactly true because I was also making art for the sake of sharing. And while I don't think there's anything wrong with that, I think being able to separate the two and be content with simply just creating is healthy. Also I'm still not as active on social media in general anymore which is probably healthier as well LOL.

So I'll prrrobably start posting again soon-ish now that I've broken this blog's posting silence? Not sure how to wrap this monologue up. My physical health problems are going to keep on probleming, but in terms of artistic fulfillment I've been in a much better place this past month, and that's a huge yeehaw from me 👍

[hartshorn-and-isinglass]

Doing A Great Job at Being Normal at Concerts

(Hi! I AM A GIANT DORK.)

Okay, so first of all... that concert was amazeballs. Keyboard Blorbo always selects music for these recitals so thoughtfully, and this selection of French music swung on a pendulum from refined courtly delight to thrilling dynamism. Keyboard Blorbo also gave themselves an entire chunk of solo pieces in the middle, which I ain't mad about at all. You wouldn't expect dance-based numbers to have you holding your breath in suspense but they enjoy letting the notes sizzle for a bit sometimes, just long enough to fuck with your mind. And I love listening to their resident soprano every time she has an opportunity to perform; she absolutely brought down the freakin' house with the last number.

Senpai brought a helluva fiery edge to this concert. Holy dang. (If I was ever hoping to be more normal about going to see them play, that definitely wasn't in the cards this time. Hnnnnnngggg.) They almost sounded like they had a different instrument under their chin. I think the acoustics in the space were just different enough from the last two venues to enhance the darker and more energetic sound they were putting out there.

Speaking of which, the venue this time was a very cool and very spacious art gallery; I was so mad I dropped the ball on my prep time again and we arrived with only ten minutes to spare (at least we got excellent seats this time, but we had to find them immediately once we arrived). I was so pumped to check out the artwork after the concert, but then at the very end Spouse pulled out his phone and showed me that the program had run over and we were going to have only the thinnest sliver of time to talk to Les Blorbeaux so we had to start stalking Keyboard Blorbo now, LOL.

And if you were wondering what the "Revolutionary treat" was... it was cake (shoulda seen that coming, honestly... was massively overthinking this one). With gilded roses on one side, and a guillotine on the other. I love Keyboard Blorbo's sense of humor.

Which is why it just kills me a little...

Whether it was just bad timing given *gestures vaguely* or just that they are an even more hardcore introvert than I was anticipating, they uh... did not let me get too many words in when I finally managed to flag them down post-concert. Soooo, yeah, didn't really get a chance to tell them, y'know, that their music left an impression on me when I was young and has helped save my sanity for the past two years. I-

I'll be fine.

I'm just a little disappointed.

Not every artist is going to be as gracious or indulgent as J. or Senpai. I know, I know. I've been extraordinarily lucky twice, and it wasn't going to happen every time. I'll get over it.

The other members of the ensemble definitely recognize me now, LOL. I did get to say hi to and thank a bunch of them, which I am glad for, while we were working our way through the crowd towards Senpai--who had made a beeline for the dessert table but was currently engaged in a lively and extensive conversation with someone else. I know this is fucking New York and you're expected to just kinda Kool-Aid Man your way into a conversation if it's urgent but I am not wired to do that, I just can't bear it. So with like four minutes to spare we swooped in the moment they were done, I said hello, got to squeeze in one question, and finally--finally!--introduced myself by name. They were confused--I think they really had assumed that I must have introduced myself before and they had simply forgotten my name. They then warned me that they were terrible at names and I'm thinking to myself--ayo, no offense but even if you're like, super-faceblind, how many alt-girl groupies have you accumulated over the years that I have no hope of sticking out in your memory sdfghjks. To be fair, I know I'm definitely not the only one, but still...

Their hand was so soft and warm. Mine was cold as ice and still pretty beat-up from all that lapidary work. I... uh... if I think about that contrast for too long my limbic system kicks my prefrontal cortex out of the driver's seat and takes the wheel. But uh... they apparently do not shake people's hands very often. They looked so confused by the gesture and they held my hand so gently, rotating it from its side-facing orientation to back-of-hand-facing-up, like they were taking my hand to dance and I'm like... uh... what...? ??? What just happened here? God bless this awkward mess.

The question I had, incidentally, led to a tangent about how their E string was being unreliable during the performance, and if someone were to write a concert review, they would probably complain that they sounded scratchy on the high notes. (Cue my cute-aggression activated.) Honestly, it wasn't that bad and the worst of it just kinda added to the vibes in that last piece. I wasn't gonna complain here about it, LOL.

It killed me that we couldn't linger, but they shooed us off telling us to enjoy our dinner, and we had to gay-walk our asses to the other side of downtown to make our reservation at the nice restaurant. It was a very nice meal. Few Italian restaurants in the US do Northern Italian cuisine, so when we do find one it brings back fond memories of our honeymoon in Tuscany and Emilia-Romagna.

So really, overall a grand time, just with some awkwardness and also-

I promise I'll get over it soon. Just give me a moment.

[k-n-e-o]

Nct Dream as high school students

This has been in my drafts for years! I’ve just reread it now and I think it’s pretty decent to post lol.

This is also mildly based off of my own highschool experience (which it’s now been years since I’ve graduated so obviously not current experience lol)

Disclaimer: this doesn’t have mark in it because he wasn’t back in nct dream at the time of writing, so I had it in my head that he already graduated and is in college

—————-

[ Renjun ]

This is used a lot but it fits him so well

He’s our little artist

Loved art class

Helps the drama kids make the props and costumes

Made a chair once for an art project, absolutely hated it (this was taken from something a friend of mine had to do once lol)

He was covered in black, red, yellow, and blue wood stain for weeks

He also smelled like saw dust for a while too

I think he’s the only one that would make and bring his lunch just because he doesn’t want to have to deal with the other idiots at the school during lunch

Him and the boys stay in the art room at lunch, it’s quieter

I want to say he’s the only one in the group that actually studies

But knowing this group of boys,

None of them are getting anything done lol

[ Jeno ]

We all know this boy is the jock of the group.

He’s also one of the responsible ones

Being the driver of the dreams carpool to school everyday

He also uses the schools fitness centre (basically a weight room and stuff)

Gets his lunch money stolen by Haechan all the time so he now brings double so he’s not asking Jaemin to steal stuff from the cafeteria

Track and field boy

Probably beats his own records every year

Also probably does football with Jaemin (spoiler?)

A goofball in all his classes, especially the ones he shares with Jaemin

Leaves little smiley faces on his friends work when they aren’t looking.

[ Haechan ]

I’m sorry but he’s a theatre boy

Auditions for all of the plays

Leaves his I.D card on the stage all the damn time

So he can’t sign out a computer when he needs one

Ends up using his phone instead and sometimes gets in trouble for it

He’s known all around the school even if people don’t actually know him they know of him

Every teacher knows him too

And they only roll their eyes when he’s loud and goofy in class

I won’t lie he probably doesn’t know any of the names of people in his class so he has to ask whenever he’s paired up with them for projects even though he’s been going to school with them for years already (how can you tell I was the person who people forgot lol)

But they can’t be mad at him for long when he’s got them bent over in laughter a few seconds later

[ Jaemin ]

In culinary arts, so he gets free food sometimes

Especially when he works in the cafeteria at lunch

Sometimes if jeno doesn’t have lunch money Jaemin will sneak some fries out for him

Also on the football team

(I don’t know why I see him doing this but I do so fight me)

Forgets his water bottle all the damn time so had to do push-ups whenever any of the football coaches catch him

Heart breaker of the century

Has girls (and some guys) staring at him and stalking his social media

Taking bio and chem at the same time

Quickly regrets that choice he made lol

Spends his spares annoying Renjun in art

Ends up painting his arm or hand and gets scolded by the art teacher

Friends with almost all of his teachers

Yes like Haechan he’s also that kid who the teachers know instantly by name and who they tell their other classes funny stories about

Probably almost blew up the chemistry lab with Haechan once

Now Haechan and him aren’t allowed to touch any of the lab equipment

Works out with jeno but sometimes slacks off

Makes jeno stop by the local coffee shop every morning on the dreamies way to school

[ Chenle ]

I don’t know why but I struggled so much with Chenles

It’s weird

He’s probably a band student who uses the piano in the room as often as he can.

He goes into the band room in the morning when jeno and Jaemin have early football practice and he goes when he has a spare

And when he’s still there after the school he plays the piano

I mean, he probably has like three pianos at home

But there’s something about the giant nearly empty room

And just playing the piano just to play

He’s a simple boy with simple desires

You can expect this boy will try out for the basketball team

And if he’s not with his friends or at a piano in the band room

He’ll probably be in the gym shooting hoops

Hate hate hates doing homework

He’s the main reason why Jisung gets nothing done too lol

Also if the dreamies aren’t “studying” at a cafe you can bet they are at Chenles house

And the only reason is because his house is the only one that can fit all six of them comfortably

Sometimes mark joins too, for old times sake

[ Jisung ]

You can fight me on this but this boy would be in the poetry slam club

He’s that quite cute boy who everyone glances at through out the meeting

Never used his locker

Instead he puts all his stuff in Chenles locker because, and I quote

“It’s easier”

Goes to all the sports games cause Chenle drags him there

Attempts to study

But we all not that ain’t happening

Gets really stressed during exam season

Probably eats one to many instant ramen packages

(He found Chenles secret stash)

Probably doesn’t skip class

Although he tried it once with Haechan but decided it wasn’t his thing

Eats lunch with the others at a near by food place every Friday as an end of the week treat

Is late to his afternoon class because they lost track of time

He’s the one always asking for a pencil or a pen

Probably tried out for the soccer team

And obviously got in

Kinda disappointed that the soccer season is short tho

But works hard none the less

Always forgetting his water bottle

Works on his writing when he has a moment of free time in class

Probably the kind to leave little love notes in his crushes locker

I don’t think he’s a huge party person

But he gets invited to a lot of them

Always complains about his student I.D photo 

But it’s not as bad as he says it is

Hands in assignments late because he keeps forgetting to do them

[innerslumber]

So...I've started drawing again. It's rough as all hell but the last few months while sick with pneumonia, I was stuck on my couch a lot and trying to sleep upright. Most nights it was unsuccessful and my brain was too scrambled to read or write, so I'd doodle.

During my teenage and college years, I wrote and drew a fair bit. Went to a ton of anime conventions and haunted the artists alley. But then school, work, family, LIFE just kept coming at me and then 20+ years went by with no creative outlet.

It didn't help that I've had people in my life that constantly discouraged it. That writing and drawing was frivolous and a waste of time. And as the years went by, the harder it was to think I could do it again. It was just easier to tell myself I got more important things to do.

But by some weird happenstance, I fell back into fandom a few years ago and picked up writing again. Now, I am the first person to say that my writing isn't like...earth shatteringly good or anything of that caliber. But that wasn't the point. I just wanted to create again and have fun with my new friends. I write at a glacial pace but at the end of the day, it feels nice to do it again when the inspiration strikes.

Art feels...different. It's incredibly intimidating lol. I know SO MANY INCREDIBLE artists and I've watched them apply themselves for years and I just...I don't know lol. The imposter syndrome is wicked hard. I could never call myself an artist, especially after such a long hiatus.

But a friend recently reminded me that art can literally be a doodle on a post-it note. I don't have to compare myself to others and undermine myself, too scared to even start. And the other day, another friend said I never have to post anything if I don't want to. As long as I'm happy and having fun, that's the whole point.

Creating anything, by word or art, can be so hard. So time consuming. But I'm going to keep trying at both. Right now I'm still figuring things out, especially because I'm trying to make art digitally and I've only done that a few times.

Life is still incredibly busy and hard...and I've been conditioned for years that to enjoy myself was being selfish. Having my abusive husband scream at me that I was a "bad mom and a bad wife" for having a writing hobby and that my online friends and I were "trash" for writing about "men fucking each other" was really demoralizing. I'd wait until when everyone was asleep to write on my phone in the dark. But at the end, I still ended up deleting and leaving behind so much because of his vitriol.

But that isn't my reality anymore. If I have time, I can write when I want to. I can draw when I want to. I don't have to look over my shoulder that I'll get caught doing something that isn't anything to be punished over.

And my art is all over the place but that's okay! I'm experimenting and trying new things. There isn't any high stakes. And I can allow myself to just enjoy it. Maybe I might even post it lol!

[starlightsearches]

Valentine's tag game 💗

thanks for the tags @theold-ultraviolence and @waywardrose, and happy valentines day loves!!

The most painful love crush/disappointment in life?

I've never cared that much about romantic relationships, so definitely the most painful disappointments have been from friendships breaking down. I had a very close friend for more than 10 years, and the end of that friendship was so incredibly hard on me, although I'm much better now :0)

What was your first real date like/what do you imagine your first real date like?

I went to prom my Sophmore year of high school with a boy I had maybe said 10 words to total before he asked me to prom. "Promposals" were really big at my school at the time, and I had to have a friend ask him if he actually was asking me to prom because the way he did it was kind of convoluted. The actual date wasn't so bad, although we did find a dirty diaper on the dance floor???

What would be the most awkward situation for you on a date/has happened to you while dating?

I had a friend who asked me on a date and I was pressured to go, but I did not want to. It ended up being a group date with a mutual friend of ours (the one who pressured me to say yes) and her boyfriend.

Like an hour before we were supposed to go on the date, the boy who asked me called me up and said that nobody could get into contact with our mutual friend and asked if I had heard from her. After like an hour she finally picked up her phone and did not get what the big deal was that she made us an hour late and also did not answer any of her texts or calls. We went to this art museum exhibition, but because we were so late it was super crowded and we could hardly get around. I was sick to my stomach the entire time and counting down the minutes until I could go home.

In the end we went back to his place to watch Spirited Away and my friend and her boyfriend fell asleep on his floor. We didn't finish more than like half of the movie before he asked me if I just wanted to go home.

What was your first kiss like/what do you imagine your first kiss to be like?

I'm part of the never-been-kissed club, but at this point it's gonna be something silly and casual with a friend ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Do you have any sexual quirks that others would find strange/is there anything you would never do when it comes to sex?

lol my friends and I all took the BDSM quiz and they were all surprised that I scored so high on bondage, so that's one. Voyeurism is hot to me, too.

And I'm really not into pet play. Collars and leashes are cool, but that's about where I tap out.

Kinkiest thing you've done/could do with a partner?

Literally a straight man's dream because I'm super in to anal. I'm also gonna steal Irma's answer and say using a double-ended dildo 👀

The most romantic thing ever?

hmmmmmmmm, i don't know. just having somebody who wants to be around me :0)

Tagging: whoever wants to join!

[inquisitorius-sin-bin]

✨What's a fic you've posted you wish you could breathe life into again and have people talking about it? (or simply a fic you wish got more credit)

💫what is your favorite kind of comment/feedback?

🎀give yourself a compliment about your own writing

🕯️how do you think engaging with each other through tumblr, twitter, comments, kudos, creates healthy fandom experiences? How do you deal with that if you're not a social person/experience social anxiety?

💌share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

Ohh bless thank you for this ask

I put so much work into Blowing Cover and it is super unpopular compared to all my other works. I really liked the character too and kind of thought they might be fun to bring back for another one shot (I mean, given the ending, they have a ton of one-shot potential).

But. The kinks/tags involved are certainly a bit edgier so I can see it getting less hits. I'm already writing for a very niche group, then this hits an even smaller category within that group. Ohh well. I enjoyed making it, at least.

As for feedback! Uh, your kind, lol. I love that you put so much time into selecting the lines that really stand out to you. That blows me away. It's like the best kind of annotations ❤️ and it helps me tailor what I do, I'm still learning what gets folk's hearts fluttering!

That said, literally just a like on a Tumblr post or a message or a keyboard smash also has the capacity to melt my heart. I've received PMs that I gush over for days and reread 1000x over. Back in the old old days of my elder fics, I got fan art and I still have them saved on a special folder on my phone. I drink out of mugs someone created of my OC's Fay and Tsiri. Just knowing people read and enjoyed it is great.

(And I'm one of those weird folks who also welcome criticism too, actually. I want to be better. I want to write good good fics that get people coming to the table and screaming for more. I want to know what you like and hate. What I could improve about my style for clarity. What was so cringey it made your skin crawl. I aim to please.)

Compliment?

I am almost done writing a fic longer than Return of the King that's literally all I'm going to be talking about for weeks. I hope it's good, lol.

In regards to engagement, in my experience I've created numerous connections with people all across the world from different experiences and backgrounds just through fandom culture. That's healthy for cultivating a good, open-minded worldview. Those connections give me so much joy and energy and help inspire me to create! When I get home, I can't wait to work on my projects, and I really want to finish something so that I can giddily hide behind my computer screen and hope you all see and enjoy it.

But beyond that, human connection is very important to me. I like seeing your personal ramblings about how y'alls days are going, your jobs, your day-to-day stuff. The people behind the blogs. And I like that on the internet, there isn't a huge expectation of availability like there is in person. I myself have a great deal of social anxiety, but online, I can choose when I have enough energy to reach out or start a conversation or message back, or when that reserve just isn't in me.

If you're really anxious, know that I still see you and am happy even if you just follow and lurk, even if I just get a kudos or a like and then you disappear. I know what I share is quite salacious and not everyone wants to have that on their blog, believe me lol. Being seen is also gratifying. If you ever have the energy for a word of an ecouragement, that means the world to me! But if not, be not afraid. I do not hate you for liking my posts.

Aaaaand for WIP stuff-

Nice try, you can't fish out more deets about the end of Ride or Die/Fly or Fall than I have already shared lol. I CANNOT spoil anything at this point. But I will say this: I feel more strongly about the theme and the arc for Volume 2 than I did for Volume 1. I have a more concrete plan overall than I did the first go round. And the message is kind of something I'm already working towards at the very end of this work, so they should flow together quite cohesively.

[icarus-suraki]

Classic, owl, skeleton for the spoopy asks :D

Spoopy ask game ooooooh~

Classic: What’s your favorite classic spooky movie? I could get really pedantic here like "But what do we consider a 'classic' and what is a 'spooky' movie? Indeed, what is a 'movie'?" But I'm not gonna.

I'm gonna go way back to a true classic: The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari from 1920.

The German Expressionism turned up to 11, the irrational and disproportional sets, the establishment of a buncha tropes, the influence it had and still has, the visual elements, the twist ending, Conrad Veidt in a black leotard and a lot of eye makeup…!

I like a lot of spooky movies, some more spooky than others, and I could just sit here and list them, but Dr. Caligari is just so iconic and influential in so many ways.

The art museum here had a showing some years ago accompanied by a live string quartet and I desperately wish I could have gone. Alas!

Owl: What creature would you have as a familiar? This is tough! I mean, I can always fall back on the classics: cat, crow, raven, owl.

Whatever, I'm kind of basic: cat. But it would be interesting to have a hairless cat. I worked with a guy who once said that I seemed like the kind of person who'd have a hairless cat. Maybe he's right. My hairless cat familiar and me, practicing experimental chaos magic in a minimalist house all done in black and white. That's the dream.

Now, speaking of, I did have a dream about a skinny black-and-white cat (more black than white, but he had white toes) named Honk who I saw in the bay window of an old bookstore next to a sign that read "Honk is not for sale!" So if I ever find Honk (who will be adoptable, I'm sure, but not for sale), maybe he's my familiar?

Skeleton: What never fails to send a shiver down your spine?

A lack of context!!!!!!!!

Let me explain: the less context or explanation there is around an image, a sound, a video, &c, the creepier or stranger it is (to me).

This is why I get disappointed partway through basically, um, every analog horror series or internet horror creation: sooner or later, there's too much context and/or too much explanation and it destroys the mystery. It puts too much of a frame around the concept. It solidifies it. And it immediately defangs it.

Once there was all this lore that evolved around The Backrooms, they immediately stopped being interesting to me. Do I like that The Backrooms are this collaborative storytelling project? Absolutely. And I enjoy some of the things people have made in that whole concept. But they've ceased to be as eerie to me because there's all these explanations now.

One of my favorite(?) examples of no-context-horror is from just before the US-made version of The Ring came out, the "cursed video" was posted online--and it was just the cursed video. There was no context, just a series of unnerving and (seemingly) disconnected images. (It was 2002 and I remember watching it on my friend's desktop in her dorm room. We were all scaring each other with it. If you had a cell phone, you'd call your friend's dorm number right after she'd seen it lol.)

And, yes, a lot of the images are gross or disgusting unto themselves--twitching severed fingers in a box is gross. But not knowing how everything connected together made even benign images like a plain wooden chair all the more horrifying. As in, if the images will go as far as a finger jammed onto a nail, the implications of the plain wooden chair are even more horrifying.

But then you see the whole movie and it's like seriously? That's it? It was a real letdown for me. The suggestions were scarier than the facts.

And, honestly, anything that you do show can't be as horrifying as what might be shown. I don't even mean Cloverfield-style where you don't really see the monster but you know a monster is there. I mean leaving the whole thing open-ended enough that the benign becomes the terrifying. Why are weird sounds in the dark scary? Because you don't know what's out there; you can only imagine it. Or worse, you can only half-imagine it.

I think The Blair Witch Project (1999) just about managed this because they never showed the witch. You got no satisfying explanation. That made it scarier (to say nothing about the "is it real or isn't it?" marketing, as Cannibal Holocaust did back in the 70s).

Nowadays, it feels like all the found footage stuff explains too much. It's like the creators think of something for the backstory so therefore they must include it in the main plot. No, don't do that. Stop that. You have to hold some things back.

Same thing with most modern "real ghost videos." It's Too Much.

Back in the early 2000s on YouTube there were actually decent "real ghost videos" that had no context, no explanation. Some of my favorites were compilations of ghost videos and photographs from Japanese horror/ghost televsion shows--I remember the photos giving me the absolute creeps in particular. And it was because I had very little context. The language and culture barriers made everything scarier--to say nothing of the time distance, since most of the clips I was watching were from the early-mid 90s. So it was all low-quality VHS tapes and film cameras, which made it just that much harder to really parse out what you were seeing. And then when you see it, you will shit bricks.

And I think this lack of explanation is what makes Tool's video for "Sober" by Fred Stuhr so fucking disturbing. Humans like narrative and explanation right? And, yes, there's some kind of narrative here but it doesn't entirely align. There seems to be a story here but it's not clear. At one point, this human-like figure the camera has been following opens up a pipe and there's raw meat flowing through it. What does it mean? What's going on? Why is this happening? We want an explanation, in part because the raw meat is distressing unto itself, but we get nothing, which makes it more distressing than just gross-out images. (The video always reminds me vaguely of Kafka's writing, and he understood this too. See: The Trial and The Penal Colony.)

I could talk about this for hours because I really think "showing the monster" is both the escape hatch or the release valve of horror but it's also the weak point of horror. Stephen King loves to show the monster eventually in his books and I don't usually find his books all that horrifying. But Revival actually almost got me because of the creepy visions the main character experiences and the whole "Mother is behind the paper sky" line. There's not much explanation in the plot/text about this, but it's not totally unexplained. But I can tell you, the first time I hit it in the book it actually got me. And that's rare.

I think that lack of context is very hard in the, well, context of a narrative. I mean, narrative demands context. Narrative is context. So the things that get me are the rare things without much of that: the cursed video from The Ring, music videos (like "Sober"), certain kinds of visual art (Francis Bacon's early work, especially), butoh dance, early internet stories and some urban legends, ghost videos/photos that don't try too hard… Lose the context, gain the fear.

(I think this is why I like the smeared, almost-but-not-quite look of older AI art, like Midjourney v3. It's in that other uncanny valley: it should be recognizable and yet it isn't entirely right.)

Oh my gaw this went on longer than it should haaaaave...

[quietwingsinthesky]

Question: cringe culture is 100% dead, but I'm curious what you'd pick as your most embarrassing fandom, past or present? I know some people consider supernatural to be a guilty pleasure but honestly there's some other fandoms that I'm way more embarrassed to still like

Generally, I’m not really embarrassed about any of the stuff I’ve been into. If I liked it, clearly it brought me joy at the time and that’s what matters. You know, how would I be the person I am today if I didn’t play Undertale or even if I didn’t read every creepypasta I could get my hands on as a kid? That plus my memory problems means no cringe for me lol. But I guess I could talk about a few.

MLP was back when the show was still airing — I want to say 3rd or 4th season? — and I just dove into the fandom because ‘woah guys did you know that people write stories about the ponies? That there are infinite amount of stories to read?’ Which, you know, ups and downs, you got your Keepers of Discord but you’ve also got your Cupcakes. (Though, to be honest, the fact that I had a reading of Cupcakes bookmarked on my computer to listen to to help me fall asleep? probably explains uhm. Some Stuff About Me.) Honestly, wouldn’t trade my time with MLP for anything, and I still love the show and a lot of fanworks dearly. I rewatch Lullaby for a Princess every few weeks, I reread Something Sweet To Bite every Halloween, and when I can’t sleep, I still find myself going to ObabScribbler or TheLostNarrator’s YouTube channels to find fic readings to calm my brain down.

Dream SMP is… more complicated. Obviously, if you know anything about it, you know all the shit that came out. I won’t get into that here because that’s not really a part of my experience? Just sort of a gross thing that overshadows it all, even though I was out of the fandom before any of that stuff was known. I actually got into it to bond with my little sister, she loved that stuff, and damn it all, but I got unironically sucked in by just the fantastic work that came out of a fandom surrounding a minecraft roleplay server lol. They aren’t wrong about the art that got made for those YouTubers, it’s all stunningly good. And it’s how I found Sad-ist’s animations on YouTube. Still subscribed to them, their work is always beautiful to watch, the old Dream SMP stuff and the new stuff. And I liked bonding with my sister over the bonkers minecraft lore. The end of that hyperfixation was when Technoblade died. Got too real, all of a sudden, too close to home, and I peaced out hard. It was good, though, while I was there. I liked having something to talk to my sister about.

Uhhhh okay out of that downer ending let’s talk about Sherlock. Yes hi hello original superwholock-er here, despite only seeing the first two seasons of doctor who but IT COUNTS. I can’t even be mad at past me for liking Sherlock because I probably wouldn’t be as close to my friends as I am if we hadn’t all been watching s3-4 live. And dunking hard on s4. I was never a johnlock conspiracy person, so that helps. There was the time my friend read us outloud some Johnlock mpreg ass birth fanfic in math class. That was… an experience. I give this a “I can’t plug my phone in without being haunted by his voice”/10

And finally, back to serious town, Harry Potter. I don’t even have anything good to say here, really. The whole “mourning something important to my childhood” phase is long over, the damage continues to be done, and. And nothing. I just don’t want to see it anymore. It’s not shame or cringe, I guess, it’s more like… disappointment. Not at myself, because fuck it, dude, I was a kid, I knew everything there was to know about the books, I waited for the mail when I turned eleven, I wrote “Hogwarts is my Home” on the inside of my closet like a ward to keep me safe. The first thing I ever read about being trans was a damn Harry Potter fic, one of the first podfics I ever made, too, though I was too chicken to post it. So what’s left except disappointment, even the anger long gone because it just keeps happening. I just don’t want to see it anymore.

Anyway, uhhhhm. Hope that suffices as an answer lol, I rambled on way too long.

[yourlocalmintgelato]

Hello again! So I’m both a bit nervous and excited since this is the first time I’m truly posting art online (Or on Tumblr anyway)

But, the good news I guess is that I made my own Hantengu clone OC! (I might change his name in the future)

His name is currently Yamai. It may not be correct but from what I translated it it was either Disease or sick child (Sick child from Yamai-Ji)

((before the translator changed it anyway))

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A little backstory I guess:

(Btw a lot of headcanons for this?)

When Hantengu was a human child he often got sick due to his weak immune system and had to go to the hospital pretty often. His parents didn't think he'd survive since they were poor and couldn't afford his medicine, but he was somehow able to make a full recovery after a year or two.

Hantengu’s long stay in the hospital was also when he started to steal and lie a lot more. (For example, he would steal the medical supplies the doctors used on him and lied that it wasn't him who did it.)

After he got out of the hospital he would continue to commit crimes, lie, and steal. Once he got to his older years, however, his immune system started to fail him again like it did in his childhood and he started to become deathly ill. Luckily that was the time when Muzan showed up and saved him from being executed for his crimes and so he’s no longer sick.

…Unfortunately for one of his clones, they became the sickness/sick clone and now have to deal with all the illnesses Hantengu had when he was human. (He may not look like he’s super sick but he feels it.)

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((The photo quality is poor since I drew it on another device and took the picture on my phone. Also, I did a poor attempt at drawing the Kanji on his tongue lol.)) *Don't repost or steal any of my artwork, please. I don't care if you credit I don't want anyone to post my art on websites or pages I'm not on. Sorry if it came off as rude, but still.*

Yamai as the sickness clone appears to be super tired with his eyes always half open. He will often be far away from the group as he doesn't want to bother them and get them sick. (Although the other clones are demons too.)

(Yamai walks and moves super slowly and so he often seems to be weaker than the other clones or an easy target but, ends up tricking his opponents/enemy by dodging their attacks and quickly hitting them. He's also a bit thinner than the other clones.)

Yamai’s weapons of choice are needles which are filled with powerful medicines and poisons. It's random so you don't know what you'll get so you could either be lucky or unlucky when you fight him.

He also coughs a lot and there's a chance he could get his opponent sick just by being near them and or coughing. (And since he has many illnesses him getting you sick would probably be deadly… His breath smells super bad too so that wouldn't be too pleasant either.)

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Facts About Him:

-He gets very nervous around women and will not attack them if he finds them attractive.

-His favorite clone other than himself is Aizestu since he gives him pity and comforts him.

-He’s really good at victim-blaming and makes his opponents feel bad and give up fighting him.

-Although he mostly wears orange his favorite color is violet. (Or blue) ((Also orange in Japan represents good health I believe so I thought that would be funny.))

-His clothing is based on clothing/kimonos children in Japan would wear in the 1800/1900s and is pretty childish.

-Like Aizestu he is very mentally weak.

-He doesn't like wearing shoes since he finds them uncomfortable and will complain if he's forced to wear them.

-He has more purple veins on his body to show his sickness? Idk.

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I apologize if the writing was cringy or poorly done. I hope you all enjoy it nonetheless!

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