#so it doesn't just sit in my drafts
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I will leave my mark.
#prue halliwell#multiep#charmed#charmededit#shannen doherty#ugh this didn't turn out like I wanted#so sorry#mine#the colouring is meant to be ghost like cause she's no longer with us#kinda like an angel#just don't think it comes across#also this has been sitting in my drafts for 2 months#debating whether to post it as it just doesn't do justice#it sucks :(
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the summer after finishing university in New York, Marinette gets invited to a camping trip with Alya and Nino and his best friend. which, honestly, is for the best. at least she has more time than the four years she's already had to figure out how to reach out to her one-time superhero partner, with whom she fell out of touch after the reveal.
only, it's Adrien Agreste waiting for them on the meeting point, beaming so hard at her that it's blatantly obvious they know each other well. in her panic, what is Marinette supposed to tell Alya and Nino to protect their identites, if not that they used to date?
(fake exes AU x there was only one tent)
#miraculous ladybug#writing prompt#ladynoir#adrinette#if you thought fake-dating was ridiculous enough get ready for: fake exes!!#Adrien is sunshine. his lady!! he's so happy to see her again!!! but also she did kind of ghost him for years is she mad at him?#Marinette is dying inside. maybe this would be easier if she ever fell out of love with Chat Noir and not just dated for sport during her B#Alya doesn't understand how could her best friend hide a relationship all throughout highschool but she wants to know all about it!#Nino's pretty sure Adrien is still in love with Nette which makes everything so much more complicated. couldn't they just stargaze in peace#I'm clearly having a lot of thoughts about it but I also do not think this is getting written unfortunately#poor boy sitting in my drafts for a year now. someone liberate him!!
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Zomiku takes a selfie
#vocaloid#hatsune miku#kagamine rin#blood#gore#fanart#okay so i actually drew this MONTHS ago but its just been sitting in my drafts this whole time#i didnt post it before cuz i wasnt satisfied with it but like. i know at this point im not gonna do anymore work on it. so why not post it#and my only issue with it was that miku doesn't look zombie enough. oh well!
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— SMALLVILLE, “Reaper” (1.17) & “Tempest” (2.01)
#this one's been sitting in my drafts for a while oops#smallville#smallvilleedit#svedit#lana lang#lex luthor#lexana#martha kent#jonathan kent#sv 1x17#sv 2x01#dcmultiverse#my gifs#the parallels... the similarities... they're both so terribly lonely and more than anything else they just wanted to have a Real Family#actually come to think of it that's probably the main reason why lexmas just absolutely destroys me#because it proves that THEY COULD'VE FOUND THAT HAPPY FAMILY IN EACH OTHER like the potential was RIGHT THERE—#but noooope the writers just wanted to make them both suffer endlessly instead#(seriously though wtf did lana ever do to deserve such a shitty ending in s8? why couldn't they just let her leave the show HAPPY for once?)#anyway I love them both so so much#and the fact that they're a little envious of the kents' seemingly perfect family doesn't make them bad people#it just makes them human
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~
#delete later#another journal entry 📝 for the void#i have not been sleeping well for the past 2 wks 😵💫 i always wake up like clockwork after 5-6 hrs which feels like not nearly enough#i feel like i've done everything there is to do (consistent exercise + consistent sleep times + earplugs + weighted blanket + no caffeine)#last night i took melatonin too but no... same problem staying asleep 😭#ahh whatever. i'm just frustrated that it has to be this way :(#anyways in an act of spite i reread like the 4 wips that have been sitting in my drafts from the past few weeks#i think something that will never cease to surprise me about writing is that more effort/time doesn't necessarily translate to better#results; i suppose that's the case with all kinds of art but#it does feel somewhat unintuitive. one of my fav professors in uni said to not dismiss those 'lightning in a bottle' moments (in art) as#blind luck... but to instead analyze the circumstances and iterate on recreating them. and i think one of my artist friends who i deeply#respect said something similar (wrt artistic rituals/setup). i have too many thoughts on writing and on my own creative processes and#weaknesses to fit into any number of tags here. :') that said...#*shakes ch2 draft* after everything i did and all the hours i spent WHY are you still so bad?!!! D: i am baffled and frustrated.#and why do i prefer this other [redacted] draft which i hammered out with utterly no regard towards the quality??#anyways. back to the drawing board i guess T.T
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want to be here....... want to write & interact & shove byan at everyone........ but sitting down to put words together... actually typing things out... is not what my brain wants to do
#thinking is bad rn. doing smth that requires me to connect thoughts & gives my mind room to wander? not good. ends badly.#but also just the act of sitting down to type is. meh.#is this writer's block or is it depression? or worse is it both#lbr it's probably both.#god I'm ready to slam my head thru a wall#sorry for all the complaining y'all. shit just sucks so bad rn lmao...#I'm all '!!!!!!' at the idea of doing things around here & I keep thinking about doing stuff#brain just doesn't cooperate & I get frustrated before I can even pull my drafts open ajcgkshj#thank u once again for all ur patience w me...... I'm amazed that more people haven't unfollowed at this point tbh#but I appreciate all of u who haven't sfm 🥺💜#I'll get my shit together to some extent eventually. hopefully.#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don’t @ me.
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but I swear, when I'm ready I'll fly us out of here
#original characters#oc posting#oc tag#artists on tumblr#altair solomon#nagi almstedt#<- tagging my ocs as if they're actual characters#(doesn't post for a month) (when I do it's just ocs) (no one claps everyone goes home)#july's been rough y'all#(this year's been rough LOL)#but i've had this sitting unfinished in my drafts since may so#anyway. obsessed with this song#(taps my ocs) these babies can fit so many songs I can daydream with about them#tumblr compresses the heck out of this urghghg
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I think sonic has to be aro like come on. COME ON. sonic never sticks around in one place. not even for tails, and tails is his little brother. his pride and joy. and he still runs off to explore the world. sonic is the wind. he's freedom incarnate. the wind blows past everyone the same, and stops for no one. no one will ever be more important to sonic than freedom and adventure. and no one will want to live that kind of life with him. even if they did, he'd rather take his own path! his path is for him to carve. to go where he pleases without having to stop and ask.
and this doesn't mean that he doesn't care about his friends. of course he does. he'll always come back, always be there when he's needed. his compassion is free to give to everyone who needs it. but he's adrift in the wind, always on the run. always more to see more to explore wherever the wind takes him.
this hedgehog is so fucking aromantic it genuinely genuinely blows my mind that people can see him as anything but. I do not understand it. I cannot understand it. he's aro.
#I typed this up for the first aro swag poll and let it sit in my drafts im so right abt this#aro sonic is sooooo important to me. hes my special little guy. it's not exactly canon but it's not-not canon either#all in the subtext. the coding. hard to say if it's intentional or just marketing. but it's there#espeon cries#sighs. people r entitled to their own interpretations ig. but that doesn't stop them from being wrong#analysis
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What Does Your Blood Taste Like?
Strawberry Milkshake
Your blood tastes like a strawberry milkshake, the sweet blend of ice cream, milk, and strawberries. Prominent flavours: sugar, fruit, and a pleasant cold.
Tagged byStolen from: @question-marked (♡) and... somebody else, I don't remember. Tagging: Whoever would like to do it?
#🌈 || dashboard games#🌈 || memes#I did this a while back but Holly reminded me just now it was sitting in my drafts#This is so funny because she's a waitress who makes milkshakes at the diner#And also because her blood doesn't taste like that. At ALL#It's more rotting fish/frog blood than sweet strawberry milkshake asdfghjkl#It is cold though so at least that part is true#Also I'M FINALLY ON HOLIDAY#I HAVE TWO WEEKS OFF 😭#I have cleaning planned but that's it regarding chores so tons of time to play catch up after working all summer and winter#So yeah <3
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a boye whom'st loves to attack paper balls
#cats#nhgnhmmm.. yommy... paper favorite food#(I do not actually let him eat paper)#ALSO I'm still working on doing the poll adventure thing I've just had a lot going on. as usual. It's actually harder than#I initially thought to regularly find time to do a quick ms paint sketch and a small writing blurb#it's like even though it doesn't take extremely long it's still one of those things that is hard to carve out a little portion of the day#to do if your day is set up in a way not conducive to portion carving#BUT .. at least I have posted many drafts#as usual.. my style of like.. post nothing for 3 weeks then randomly post 25 things at once#NO idea why my brain works that way. it just does. it's easier#even though I know it's worse in terms of like. social media#the algorithms in most places prefer consistent steady uploads over time. not jarringly wavering between absence and hyper presence#then absence again. but .. alas...#Good to clear out a few drafts once in a while anyway. And I do really want to get back to scullptures and costumes. I stopped as much for#a while due to the pandemic (can't go to the bins anymore to get new supplies for costumes and stuff) as well as my worsened#health things/lack of energy and also my chest injury (so repetitive movements with my arms such as sitting in the same#position sculpting for 4 hours or changing clothes multiple times in quick succession etc. could flare it up) but obviously#none of those things are going to get better any time soon. so I should probably just try to do it here and there anyway. It's still not#safe to go to the bins. still having muscle problems. still low energy. But I could make it work maybe. I just feel bad having gotten out#of the habit when it is really fun stuff that I enjoy. Some things just get more difficult for me over time#But even like 3 sculptures and 10 costumes a year is better than 0 of any of those things. So. eh#I'm also just trying to clear out pictures still. My spring cleaning (which I do at the start of every new year instead of actual spring)#was kind of delayed this year due to me feeling sick and everything so even late into april I'm still working on the side at like orgnazing#all of the files on my computer. deleting things and backing up whatever I want to keep. clearing out photos.#editing and drafting (and maybe one day posting) old stuff form a while ago. etc. etc.#So any progress is good progress. I suppose.#ANYWAY.... a son... he gets very excited everytime he hears anyone anywhere crinkle up a piece of paper
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so i finally went through my drafts
#i swear to god this took years#actually it literally did#i had stuff in my drafts from oct of last year#literally just art sitting there that i was too overwhelmed to tag#think i figured out a system that actually works for now though#might mean stuff sometimes spends a little while untagged#but that'll be okay#as long as it doesn't just rot in my drafts#ryo rambles#man i'm so normal
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I need you all to know that I have been struggling to write a singular chapter of Inheritance for the last like month and I am just now actually making progress 💀
#atlas speaks#it's not the next chapter. but the one after that#there's a post sitting in my drafts explaining. why. its taken so long. bc it did take me this long to realize why i was struggling with it#and the reason is so silly and stupid lmao#but i refuse to post that draft for fear of spoilers. for the like ten people who actually read it lol#but i did want to make light of it bc i think it's so silly#it is the sole reason we've caught up with my backlog of pre-written chapters#without getting into specifics. really it's just cause i feel so bad for Maya lmao. and it's not even like a particularly wild chapter.#but despite how calm things actually seem on the surface. i know things she doesn't and the dramatic irony is killing me#everytime something seemingly innocuous happens i am sitting there with my head in my hands like 'oh my god she does not deserve this'#it's literally so ridiculous
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Runaway Turned Thief, His First Horse, and its Consequences.
Cole's first horse after the razing of his hometown is a dark bay no-spot appaloosa mare. She's built for long distance riding, and bursts of extreme speed for outrunning trouble. While she can go quite aways, there is definitely a lack of stamina in maintaining a sprint in comparison to a fully committed race horse.
He steals her from two drug mulers who had been camping out in the wilderness. This is where he ends up with most of his supplies that he keeps with him 'til Deadlock, including a second revolver to go with his first, a analog hunting rifle that he uses extensively for hunting and self-sustenance, and dressing knives. (Before then, he had a bed roll that was on its way out, carried in a ragged pack, a multi-tool, a foldable knife, and a water bladder; one extra set of clothes. Having a horse allowed him to pack greater inventory, travel further, and carry more quality of life items such as a wire set to cook over fires, rope, etc. Etc. In the case of meeting @/quick-drawn, she also allowed him to pack game to bring back home.)
He is on the verge of becoming 12, having left the orphanages some months prior (having been inducted into the system at 11 and spending time being tossed around for about 6-8 months). The whole debacle is a bit of a shit show with him waiting for the dark of night, pressed flat to the ground on his stomach amidst the cover of large rock and sage bush rooting between the crevices. He is, at this point, learning to be a little more clever with his thefts, scoping out the individuals, the layout of the camp (but fails at this time to consider escape plans, terrain.)
Sky turns indigo, then a void of black fractured by the salt-scatter of stars. Fire's died out to embers and the men retire to their tents. Cole scrapes himself up to his feet, scurries down the path tied between hasty and careful and rifles through their supplies like a shambling animal that's wandered someplace it don't belong. He ransacks ammunitions, the aforementioned firearms, some cans of food and a flask engorged with gin, amongst an assortment of other things; gathers and piles them up in the saddle bags on the Appaloosa.
Men start rousing as he's on the tail end of packing - the one stirring with a need to take a piss - and the little heist becomes a smash-and-grab operation where he's cutting the reins with a knife and blasting down the mountainside as they start yelling and searching for their firearms.
Later on, when it's deemably safe and he's lost them, he rummages through her saddle bags and finds papers reading Honeysuckle and his face scrunches up sour. Amber-brown eyes dart up from crinkled black print to the dark pits of the horse's. "Y'don't seem like a Honeysuckle."
He doesn't know why, but the name Maria falls off his tongue much easier. Fits her features more, he thinks. (It is, absolutely, a lapse back into his religious roots. Finding the name like a prayer, which he utters in both thanks and apology. Most of all, the significance just falls down to lyrics of Plastic Jesus: Goin' 90 I ain't scary, 'cos I got the Virgin Mary assurin' me I won't go to hell.)
She's a playful mare, likes to 'sneak up' on him while he's turned away despite the very obvious noise of her shoes hitting the ground. Likes to nuzzle her head into his neck, or knock into his back, set his hat off-kilter. Loves hoofing at creek/river/brook water - though that's a learned habit when he decided to splash at her on a non-eventful, idyllic day at a lakeside shore. Steady girl - he'll call her lady, sometimes. There are days where he'll share a beer with her, too.
He is somewhere in the throes of 13 when he unfortunately re-crosses paths with his victims. It's serendipity on their end, an accidental run-in out in the wilderness near an ol' gutted hunting lodge. The owners recognize Honeysuckle and they sneak up on him like he'd done with them, except instead of running off with a horse and materials, they put a gun to him and have him flag up his hands. They don't know what to do with him (there's an additional man to the original duo) and they murmur amongst themselves in Spanish after beating him to the ground and tying him up; they converse like this thinking the boy can't understand.
There's not a lot going for them to toss him towards a lawman; not a lot of pretty coin for a petty thief, not in these days where the economy and infrastructure's been starved out to a post-war drought. One of them suggests killing him out back. There's nothing really stopping them, and they could re-collect their stolen goods and continue on their way. They'd lost money because of the kid's stunt, lost out on 50% of what they could mule with only 1 horse instead of two.
Third man finally says, Sell him. Some place beyond the border where English is just a rumored language spoken only on tv sets. Labor camps need more hands. Sold men are cheaper than the free ones. He gets his reckoning, we make-up our money and then some.
In English, they tell him that in ancient times the law would have his hands severed from the wrists for theft and they knot up the binds on his hands aggressively tight to prove the point.
And then they'd travelled South, days piling into days. The ribbed rope would gnaw the skin raw, chafing towards bone like it's trying to eat him alive, and the entire thing leaves his wrists risking sepsis and scars; bloody, mangled.
they're stopped by in some post-war abandoned location along the way to rest that's filled with rusty tools and broken beer bottles. Some sort of logging warehouse. Cole finds a shitty piece of glass on a countertop and palms it; clenches his hands around it even when it threatens to nip cuts and draw blood. The men get ready for bed. Cole starts sawing at rope fibers. One of the men check up on him while he's just about free - the binds snapping loose as he realizes something isn't quite right.
Cole doesn't know where the guns are; his hands are in too much pain to aim straight anyway. First man goes down with Cole tackling him right into exposed pipes, gritty sawblades. Commotion brings the other two out: one tries to grab him from behind, while the other moves to sling a punch to the gut. Cole kicks wildly, butts his head into the nose of the man who's got hands on him. He's dropped to the floor. His knees ache from impact but it's his wrists that are screaming and he chokes out a strangled noise of pain, blearily grabbing at a slaughtered beer bottle that he's landed right next to.
Man in front of him's had enough, is going for his gun when Cole launches up into him with the bottle in hand. The serated glass punctures cheek flesh, into an eye socket. Man screams. Cole reels the glass back and keeps jamming it back down - and his face is soaked by the gore of it. The screams stop coming, and there's a thick hand that gloves around his shoulder. By some blind, desperate instinct, his other hand has found the handle of the dead man's gun when he is swung around with a fist cracking into his jaw. The glass bottle crashes into the floor. A gunshot spears the air. A third body cripples to the floor, blood guttering from the stomach. He spits on them, staggering to his feet: hablo español, hijo de puta - ir a la mierda.
He shambles out from the building, doused in blood, brain matter, and tries to put on a brave face, but he starts breaking down and ends up mumbling in a sort of low-key hysterics to maria "im sorry, im sorry, im sorry" -- doesn't know what he's apologizing for, that he stole her, that he killed her previous owners, that he's alive. Between the adrenaline and everything crashing in all at once, it's the first time he's reduced to tears since the times before the war.
Exhausted, he falls asleep outside. Leaves the men as is and weakly cuts their horses free (too tired by it all, he doesn't think to search their pockets for money, to rifle through saddle bags before releasing their mounts.) It's a mistake, because the news will later search for the horse owners, talk about a bloody horror scene found in the stomach of a logging complex. But, until then, the next few days are of travel, trying to find a main road while his wrists are pounding hellfire.
He ends up stumbling into a gas station in the middle of bumfuck nowhere looking like road kill. The attendant is startled right out of his seat as Cole walks up to him and shoves forward a fistful of ruddy-colored bills.
His voice rattles like pennies in a rusted gutter; tinny, scraping. He croaks, "I got some money for a band-aid and some rubbin' alcohol."
Man thinks this kid's been in a motor vehicle collision, says, "Kid you're going to need a lot more than just a band-aid" as he unlatches the medical kit from the wall. He seats Cole down on a plastic foldable chair, patches him up free-of-charge to the best of his ability the way a gas station attendant can offer. Man adds in a pair of gloves to make sure the gauze don't shift around too much. Man asks questions.
Where's your parents? What happened?
Cole says war got them. That he got into an accident.
Man tries to have Cole clean up in the bathroom, says there's snacks waiting outside while he phones for the police. Cole washes up, peels off his clothes for the last set he's got, and pockets the medical supplies the man had been using. He walks off, leaving the bathroom -- just does not come back inside -- and hitches back onto Maria and starts to ride off before anyone can come.
He leaves a few crumpled dollar bills on the sink.
#Hc: youth#hc: head up in the clouds;;#Hc: history#this too has been sitting in my drafts for a fat ass minute n only like 2 ppl know the contents of it SHKDHDIA#Tldr; cole's first horse after the war's named maria and he grows up with her til deadlock#she is a long-range mare with good sprint but it's a sprint not meant to be maintained for too long#impish personality - playful - likes to sneak up behind him despite not being very sneaky#He stole her; the owners find him - it does not bode well#He has rope burn scars on his wrist that he hides with gloves for the majority of his youth#Just because they're so damn noticeable and he's not in the business of entertaining the nosey and concerned#These days he doesn't really care due to the fact that he's mottled all over -- forgets that they're there for the most part#The memory of all this is also very far away for him tbh - like he's basically forgotten abt it unless u say smthing that just Unlocks it#This is also the cause of a few lines w a thread w quick drawn:#(You stagger out of this matted in blood and flesh and feel like Death's fucked up little butcher and#you have never wanted it to rain more in your life.#God did not answer this prayer.)
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my god why do so many tumblr posts have to be worded so fucking self-righteously like bro i agree with you but i'm not going to interact w your post bcs honestly you sound like a condescending douchebag
#i understand a lot of ppl are angry but like idk sit on it maybe if you want your post to have any effect beyond just venting your emotions#like i once started making a very angry post about (usually) usamericans being unabashedly ignorant abt my country#which is something that makes me v angry bcs the dismissive us centric colonial attitude is so fucking apparent in that#but i left it unfinished and put it in my drafts and i am hoping to reword it someday so it's less pissy and then post it#bcs lbr yeah posting an angry rant will make me feel better sure#but is it going to achieve anything? no#this is like legit proven. people do not respond well when they are corrected with an antagonistic attitude#they won't want to agree with you even if they actually do think you have a point bcs it makes them defensive. that's just#a fact lmfao#so if i'm hoping for people to consider my point and take it on board i do have to like. be civil abt it. and not passive aggressive#yeah it sucks sometimes bc i want to be angry and let people know i'm angry! but it also doesn't work that way it really doesn't#this goes for trans and queer stuff too so often 🥲#neptalks
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Hey so I think everyone needs a reminder on how to interact with people:
It's fine to "spam like" a person if you're just going through their stuff during the day you find said creator. If they're a popular tumblr user I doubt they'll notice if you spam their notifications after the fact cause they probably have them off anyway.
However, I am not a big tumblr user, I keep my notifications on and check here when I see them so I tend to notice the same person spamming me. This is about those of us that check notifications cause we be small and want to see the interactions.
If you're going through someones posts and you're constantly on their notifications for 11 days straight because you keep unliking and reliking their content, that's fucking creepy.
I don't mind the spam likes if it's literally just one maybe two days of someone seeing my content and liking it. (Especially the Ben 10 or Young Justice posts).
But like 11 days? That's too fucking much for me to see you in my notifications when I haven't posted much, if anything, during that time frame. Especially when it's been stuff that was already liked prior. I don't have enough Ben 10 posts that you haven't seen in one or two goddamn days. You don't need 11 days to stifle through all my Ben 10 content.
Like constantly spamming my notifications won't get me to answer your long ass ask faster, in fact it made me put it off even longer. Originally it was cause it was so long I needed to answer on my laptop so I could read it as I responded. But I also kept getting busy and forgetting to respond. So I'll take responsibility for not answering it, doesn't mean it's okay to spam like my shit for almost 2 weeks because I didn't answer you.
In fact said person even chatted me about it the other day and I explained why it took so long. (Although they apologized for it being long over asking why it took so long.) Then they proceeded to spam like content they already liked again.
Spamming won't get a creator to notice you, they'll just straight up fucking block you.
#vent#the ask has been sitting in my drafts for 2 weeks btw#like I wanted to give it the respect it deserved but fuck that when the person doesn't respect me#spam liking doesn't get a creator to notice you#if you send me long asks please be patient or DM me on it and I'll be happy to provide why I haven't answered it yet#I'm also currently sick at the moment and have been for the last couple of days so this is fun to deal with#tumblr etiquette#proper tumblr etiquette#it's always cool seeing the same people in my notifications but for two weeks yeah that's a no from me#you can spam like just don't be creepy about it#I stopped venting on here years ago but had to say something about it#it's one thing if someone was going through the Albedo tag to like my posts#but said posts that were liked were nowhere near each other in the tag or my profile#you can't post about tumblr etiquette on your blog yet go around and do this shit
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reading old fics i wrote in 2021 and really seeing that this one i was trying to write was SO Hannigram-Without-It-Being-Hannigram . ...... . serial killer who is an artist meets a cannibal who also owns dogs . victims are bad people. they have mutual friends and eventually when they get together the serial killer has nightmares of eating his partner.
#of course i didn't get very far & majority of it lives in my drafts but still .#i didn't know about Hannibal then or really until This Year when i watched it in February(?)#anyway i decided to go see how the old fics i had that had pieces up were doing since i abandoned that website for ao3#<- the chapters are short & are really Nothing. i can barely write at 21 so at 19 i could write absolutely nothing#it is so funny to see that though. if only my 19 year old self could see my current obsessions#chatterboychattergirl#do i mention that they first meet @ an art museum? each one thinking they're going to kill the other basically?#the more i think about it the more it seems so au-ed Hannigram it makes me want to sit outside and cook myself in the sun#artist killer is very put together and proper whereas cannibal is just some punk guy#<- Will is NOT punk but it's in My blood so i gotta find something for him . anyway.#edit: actually the serial killer kills for “fun” & the cannibal eats people because he doesn't want to eat animals & would rather eat human#<- because “they deserve to rot and die! to be eaten!”
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