#so ironically i tried to put that feeling on paper
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gmalaart · 10 months ago
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lack of artistic identity
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retrosabers · 24 days ago
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𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬.
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FICMAS DAY ONE- MISTLETOE
logan howlett x fem!reader
summary: marie is determined to get logan to kiss you under the mistletoe
contains: cute holiday fluff, marie and bobby being little shits, established relationship, swearing, teasing
word count: 1.8k
a/n: this was not supposed to be almost 2k words but i have a very bad habit of getting carried away when it comes to logan so…let’s hope i can actually commit to writing all these holiday blurbs! in the meantime, enjoy some wolvie sweetness <3
!! divider by @strangergraphics !!
FICMAS MASTERLIST
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holidays at the x-mansion meant a few things.
helping put up the largest christmas tree you’ve ever seen, and decorating it from head to toe. each student and professor responsible for placing their favorite ornament on a branch.
spending your weekends cozying up by the fireplace with hot cocoa and your colleagues. basking in the warmth that had nothing to do with the glowing embers, but the company seated around you.
and last, but most importantly, less kids. since a fair amount of them returned home to spend time with their families, that meant fewer heads to keep track off, and less stress on your plate.
but of course, things could never be that easy.
the ones who remained, usually the older students, always tried their luck to see just how much they could get away with, under the guise of “being in the christmas spirit.”
last year it was the snowball fight that somehow made its way into the foyer. the year before that there was a wrapping paper prank that covered all four walls of the professor’s office with obnoxiously printed gift wrap.
both of which were unnecessary messes that irked logan big time. and yet, this year’s ordeal got under his skin in a way that was unparalleled to those prior.
and it’s all your fault, really. well, sort of.
somehow an innocent comment made in passing about always wanting to be kissed under mistletoe turned into a personal mission for marie. she was determined to help make your dream come true, and while the kindness of it all is incredibly sweet and heartwarming, she’s starting to get a little carried away.
logan liked the young girl. he really, truly did.
but if her and bobby didn’t stop this little charade, he was going to lose his mind.
all damn day the pair of teens were following him around every corner. whispering and giggling under their breath, forgetting that he could hear them from a distance away. he knows exactly what they’re up to, judging by the faux leaf decoration marie is doing a very poor job of hiding behind her back.
they’re trying to play matchmaker.
it’s something that would be the slightest bit endearing if he wasn’t already involved.
that’s what made the situation ironic. funny even. watching them scramble around to place the mistletoe whenever you and logan were in the same room. thinking they were single handedly going to be responsible for a love match that was already underway and had been for months.
you weren’t purposely keeping your relationship a secret. you just didn’t feel like it needed to be divulged to the team just yet. anyone with eyes however, could clearly see there was something going on between you and the wolverine.
hence the two young mutants trying their hand at playing cupid.
“you can’t keep barking at them all day,” you scold logan, who was shooting the iceman a warning glare over his shoulder. the blonde looks like a deer caught in headlights as he darts down the hall. “they’re just being kids.”
“gettin’ on my goddamn nerves is what they’re doing,” your boyfriend grumbles. his hard expression melts a bit when you affectionately card your fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck.
“i think it’s sweet.”
logan scoffs with a roll of his eyes, but it's clear he’s mostly messing around. he’s got a soft spot for the kids whether he wants to admit it or not, and he most definitely has a soft spot for you, which he’ll scream loud and proud. his eyelids flutter shut at the soothing scrape of your nails against his scalp.
“i’m waiting for you to starting purring one of these days,” you tease him in a low whisper. logan opens one eye, unimpressed. still, there’s a faint tug on the corner of his lips.
“whatever,” he retorts weakly, relishing in the peaceful moment. knowing you don’t get many of those around here, his hand stays snug against the small of your back, hoping he can keep you anchored for just a little while longer.
as much as you want to stay like this all day, both of you have things that need to be taken care of. logan deflates slightly when you pull away, hands ghosting around your torso before limply falling at his sides.
“duty calls,” you groan, as you look down at your watch to check the time. your next class started in five minutes, and you’d be setting a bad example as the teacher if you were late. “i’ll find you after?”
logan nods, debating on whether or not he should do what he’s thinking. you’ve shown affection around the mansion before, but with bobby and marie sneaking around, he didn’t want to give them a front row seat, especially considering no one really knew you were together yet. the last thing he needs is those two running amuck telling everyone his business.
although logan would be a liar if he said he could go without your kisses. because he couldn’t. not by a long shot, regardless of the circumstance.
just as he’s about to lean in, a loud noise sounds from the hallway. you exchange glances for a split second, protective instincts kicking in before you rush out of the room in a panic.
in a flash, you’re standing in the mansion’s entryway, logan with his claws out and you with your fists up ready to face danger. except there wasn’t anything alarming to be found. not a knocked over vase. not so much as a fly in the wall.
“what the hell was that?” you breathe, surveying the hall for any sign of what could’ve caused a ruckus.
“probably those damn kids again,” logan huffs exasperated, giving the room another once over before his claws retract.
you can’t stop the bark of laughter that makes its way out of you. logan looks back at you confused, but with a hint of a smile on his face.
“i’m sorry,” you snort, covering your mouth at the sound. “it’s just, you sound like such an old man right now.”
unamused, logan offers a blank stare, though you know there’s no real irritation behind it.
“i’m not sure who’s worse,” your boyfriend groans as he makes his way back toward the living room. “you, or the kids.”
“you know you love me,” you joke, following close behind. logan hums sarcastically, but deep down he knows it’s the complete and utter truth. he doesn’t have to say it out loud for you to know, and somehow his coyness about the subject manages to make you even more smitten.
your heart flutters from that notion, in addition to catching a glimpse of the mistletoe that’s now mysteriously pinned above the corridor.
it definitely wasn’t there two seconds ago.
a quick flick of your head back and forth to double check and make sure there wasn’t any prying eyes. bobby and marie weren’t very good at hiding, so when you’re not met with a chorus of stifled giggles, you know you’re in the clear.
a smug grin accompanies the airy call of logan’s name.
the man gives a sideways peek over his shoulder before spinning around completely, eyeing you with tender curiosity.
you stand in the doorway, teetering back and forth on your heels, and nod your head up in the direction of the ever dreaded mistletoe. an innocent flush on your cheeks that signals to him just how giddy you are over something so small.
and as much as logan can’t stand the cliche-ness of it all, he has no choice but to oblige.
because who would he be, if he didn’t do everything in his power to keep you this happy?
with faux annoyance, he stomps over to you, dragging his feet across the floor for dramatic effect. it only adds to your amusement, the sound of your laughter the most delightful noise he wishes he could bottle up and keep forever. when his large hands find their familiar place wrapped around you, any facade of indifference crumbles.
“m’gonna get those little shits if they’re lurking,” logan mutters playfully, your lips mere inches apart with how closely he leans in.
“just shut up and kiss me already howlett,” you whisper in protest, and that little hint of bossiness is all logan needs to surge forward and close the gap.
it felt exactly like something out of those cheesy christmas romance movies, but in the best way possible. the scent of vanilla and pine occupies your senses as logan’s lips move in tandem against yours. delicate and slowly, an always dizzying contrast to the brooding and rugged exterior of the wolverine. you melt like putty into his touch, arms encircling the back of his neck naturally.
there’s something sweet and syrupy that logan feels between his ribs when you shuffle around onto the tips of your toes to deepen the kiss even more. to find a way to get even closer, an impossible feat that physics won’t ever allow but you try anyway.
the only thing that could ever pull you away from this bliss, was the need to come back for air.
the sight of you, blushed and breathless, was always sure to make him swell with pride. in true hallmark fashion, a piece of hair falls in front of your face, and logan tucks it behind your ear without second thought.
“that live up to the hype?” logan teases, raising a brow up towards the ceiling, that sly smirk of his making you flush even more.
“maybe,” you quip back, pretending to mull things over in your mind before ultimately nodding your head enthusiastically.
and even when logan can sense the presence of bobby and marie looming nearby, he doesn’t fly off the handle with a string of swear words like he wants to. he can’t bring himself to rain on your parade just yet. though he should’ve known you’d beat him to the punch.
“they’re standing in the hall aren’t they?” you grumble against his lips, a hint of annoyance lacing your otherwise cheery tone.
“yup,” logan pops the last letter, shifting to give the pair a look that screams “i’m giving you a five minute head start before you get an earful.” they cartoonishly scamper off, the sound of bounding footsteps up the staircase filling the room.
you pinch the bridge of your nose, the bubble of this perfect moment popping at the thought of what the rest of your day was going to entail now that the mansion’s biggest blabbermouths caught you kissing.
“we’ve got about 10 minutes before the entire state of new york knows our business.”
logan’s laugh rumbles against you, sending delightful vibrations throughout your body. even with the irritation that pricks at the both of you, there’s an underlying sense of content that can’t be ignored.
“i say it was worth it.”
“yeah?” you whisper, eyes searching logan’s for some sign of jest or sarcasm. surprisingly, they’re full of sincerity, and it only adds to the warm and fuzzy feeling spreading across your skin.
“yeah,” he hums, gingerly cradling your face as he presses your lips together once more.
later, after you scold marie for being a meddler, you’ll be sure to thank her for helping give you one of the most memorable kisses in your entire life.
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thanks for reading! <3
!! if you would like to be tagged in the rest of the ficmas blurbs, please send me an inbox message or leave a comment !!
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monzamash · 7 months ago
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my side of the sofa — lando norris
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rating – mature (language, sexual references) requested for✨monzamusings✨ inspired by the kooks' sofa song – and i kinda want to continue this lil story... lmk what you think x
lando was the andy to your april, the tom to your zendaya – on paper there was no logical reason why your dynamic worked, polar opposites in almost every way. he was sunshine personified, wildly charming and devilishly handsome. he was the kind of guy who wore his heart on his sleeve, staunchly loyal with a smile brighter than the stars he swore you hung in the night sky.
in contrast, you walked on the darker side of life; a little mysterious, quietly confident and self assured but humble, generous and effortlessly beautiful but to some, you were intimidating – always kind and caring but scary until those impenetrable walls that had been iron clad from birth started to come down.
somehow lando norris had achieved what most thought was impossible.
it started small with knowing smiles and inside jokes – my god, you had jokes for days! and he laughed at every single one, without fail. wild curls thrown back and smile lines crinkled together, creating a jigsaw you desperately wanted to piece together. you loved in his dry british sense of humour – dark, macabre jokes sprinkled with tasteful sarcasm that he saved just for you. on paper, you couldn’t make sense of it, how your heart felt safe with someone so different to you.
“you know that giving a guy a key to your apartment means things are getting serious right? like, way more serious than a stupid label…”
lando stood in your kitchen, patiently brewing you a cup of tea – strong and dark with the tiniest dash of milk, just the way you liked it, while you scrounged around in the cupboards for the shortbread you bought on a whim just in case you had visitors, though rare it did happen from time to time. why the fuck did I put them up there, you muttered under your breath. lando placed down the teaspoon he’d been drumming on your countertop and came to your rescue, his warm hand resting on you lower back as he reached up beside your head and plucked the shortbread from the top shelf with ease.
“short arse.”
“prick.” you quipped back, snatching the delicious snack from his hand and skipping away.
“and to answer your question – no, i don’t think giving you a key means anything but being smart because it saves me having to come all the way down here to unlock the door for you... because you're here allll the time,” your drawling tone earned a pinch to the ribs as you launched onto the sofa, lando following closely behind.
“i’m here all the time because you call me, miss ‘i’m scared of the dark and need a big, strong man to look after me’,” lando mocked in a high pitched voice, causing you to scoff into the hot cup of tea nestled in your hands.
“big feels generous…”
a shocked expression swept across lando’s face – eyebrows raised as he playfully brushed off your burn, “ooh does it now?” his attitude turning cocky in the blink of an eye.
“i don’t think that’s how you felt last week in monaco – just saying,” he shrugged before taking an exaggerative sip from his mug, your eyes suspiciously narrowed but the smile itching the corners of your mouth threatened to give you away.
“admit it.”
"no way!”
“come oooon, admit that i’m big or i’m not watching vanderpump with you.”
lando quickly grabbed the remote control from the coffee table in the midst of his ultimatum and held it above his messy head of curls as you carelessly shuffled into his tracksuit-clad lap, determined to take back what belonged to you.
“don’t you dare threaten me, norris – i have so much dirt on you so you do not want to push me…” you couldn't be serious if you tried.
"all the dirt you have on me includes you, my sweet girl so do your worst,” he taunted with a whisper, his smug smile making your eyes roll.
he had no idea who he was dealing with.
“three words; facetime in singapore… or maybe you need me to re-jog your memory?” lando’s face dropped in disbelief, dragging his bottom lip between his two front teeth at the memory but as he peered into your playful eyes, a dubious scoff puffed from his mouth.
"pfft, you wouldn’t do it…”
“oh baby,” you mocked, hands pressed to his tight chest as you settled into his lap, eliciting a groan when you looked down at him, “try me and find out..”
lando's eyes fluttered shut for a millisecond as his head lulled back in defeat, placing the remote on your side of the sofa, “you win.”
“i always win.”
lando softly hummed, tilting his head with a smirk, “nah ‘cause after all that, who’s side of the sofa are you on?” the proud smile lit up his handsome face and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes at how goofy and beautiful he looked admiring his handy work.
“so you see, i win. and maybe you can too.”
“oh, i’m definitely winning.” you leaned in with a smile and pressed a firm kiss to his perfect lips, melting into his touch. the one thing you knew for sure was that you could kiss him all day, every day, maybe for the rest of your life.
lando was the first to come up for air, eyes blurry and heart shaped while you took a couple more seconds to return to the real world, begrudgingly opening them to see the sweetest human being staring right back. the sigh he exhaled was so deep that it reverberated through your bones, worrying you a little until his hands brushed down your sides and the smile etched on his face remained.
“why are you being such a chicken about us being together?”
“i’m not being a chicken, i’m just being realistic,” you whispered, desperately wanting to change the subject, “... your eyes look really pretty.”
lando chuckled, “i know they are so why don’t you want to wake up to them every morning and tell me that, huh? because i wanna do that.”
“tell yourself that you have pretty eyes?”
it was lando’s turn to eye roll and plant a soft smack to your backside, “such a smartarse.”
“you love it.”
“yeah i do and i love you sooooo…” lando nudged gently, searching for an answer that would ease his fear of losing you.
“soooo…” you mimicked but quickly shied away from his intense gaze, “i’m in love with you too, you dumbarse but we’re weird and so different to one another and i feel like people aren't going to understand us and ruin everything... what do you think?”
you hadn't even realised that you'd started chewing through the black varnish on your nails until lando gently grasped your wrist and laced his fingers with yours. he sighed and kissed the back of your hand – the pause in conversation gave him time to gather his thoughts while the circles he drew into your palm with the pad of his thumb calmed your racing mind.
lando answered hundreds of questions every day but he was struggling to think of a time when his response to a question held this much meaning. actions meant everything to you, and he couldn't wait to hold your hand in public and not be afraid of getting caught sneaking kisses in the paddock when the two of you were meant to be working, but words were a good place to start.
“what i think is that we love each other, yeah? and what i know is that i don't give a shit what other people think because you're fucking hot and i love being weird with you, my scary little angel of death,” he teased, tickling your sides until tears ran down your cheeks and you succumbed to his embrace, face buried in his neck.
“i love being weird with you too.”
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shout out to mar (@percervall) for the prompt! more writing...
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papaya-twinks · 5 months ago
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just an assistant - l.n
Warnings: Angst, swearing, sexism, degradation (I’m in a silly mood), sex (not between y/n and lando)
Pairing: Lando Norris x fem!reader
A/N - y’all are fucking feral Jesus 😍😍😍😍
Where to start, where to start?
Lando had a lavish house, but along with that, it was big, and had a lot of expensive furniture. “Y/N, don’t just stand there,” Lando rolled his eyes, sitting onto the sofa as he watched you look round nervously, your teeth nipping at your lower lip as you stood awkwardly in the centre of the living room. 
“Y/N, it’s a damn list,” Lando grumbled, flicking the piece of paper in your hand, “they work downstairs. Start with my room,”. His room. You’d be going to his room, a place that was usually kept for privacy, and he’d asked you to go there. 
Youd be lying if you said you didn’t find Lando attractive. Of course you did. He was heavenly, with his chocolate brown mass of curls, his emerald green eyes which sometimes changed to icy blue or deep brown, his slightly pouty pink lips and his rosy cheeks. But to you - he was just a celebrity crush.
Because to you, even though you knew Lando up close and personal, the chances of Lando falling for you were below even possible. But that was in your eyes. His bedroom was lavish, messy, but expensive and good anyways, his bed messy but tucked away with some signs of neatness.
You’d start on the bed. You tried to push the thoughts out your kind as you moved the hoodies and shirts off his bed, feeling oddly warm at holding Lando’s clothing. This was where he slept. Where’d he lay, and sleep, and who knows? He could sleep shirtless for all you knew, maybe even naked, and-
No!!
You couldn’t be having these thoughts about your boss. You weren’t like that. You tidied up the bed, fluffing the pillow (where he’d put his pretty curls), before collecting all the clothes, some dirty hoodies, which you placed in a wash basket to take downstairs. You’d always wondered how Lando managed to afford a new outfit for every race and just how much money he had for clothing.
So why miss out on the opportunity to take a little peek? Just to see a bit of it. And great. A walk in closet. You stepped inside, eyes wide at the masses of clothes, some thrown away, some untouched shirts and ironed items hung up neatly, ranges of shoes across little bars, from polished, clean black dress shoes, to dirty trainers which had originally been white at one point.
Surprisingly.
“Very productive, Y/N,” a voice said behind you, making you jump, turning round to see Lando standing behind you, your eyes wide as he stood there, arms crossed over his chest. “Seriously, I’m gonna need to think of some sort of punishment if you keep slacking off,”. Your eyes widened at his words, immediately shaking your head.
“No, I’m sorry, I just got distracted, and-,” you were cut off by Lando, his voice firm and stern. “You keep doing it, Y/N,” he said coldly, his eyes travelling up and down your body. “And seriously? Another minidress?” you watched as he rolled his eyes, scoffing at your outfit as you pushed your legs together, moving them together in embarrassment.
“Just…try and dress like an assistant and not some…stripper, god,” he muttered under your breath, the words not going unnoticed as you flushed. You thought you’d looked pretty. Not to look like…what Lando had said. The words hurt, use, but you brushed it off. Sometimes, Lando was a dick.
“And make fucking dinner whilst you’re at it,”. Suddenly, the wage he was paying you didn’t seem to be enough, and you’d have much rather had your shorter hours with McLaren. “Okay,” you mumbled, eyes on the floor as you walked out of the walk-in closet, eyes on the room round you, before moving to carry on cleaning.
Dinner would be made afterwards.
What you certainly did not expect to see, in your drawer, was the pack of condoms, or the lace panties on top of them. Right. Of course Lando had some girl over, you couldn’t blame him. And you certainly had no right to feel possessive, in any way. The rest of the night went by quietly, your mouth kept shut as you served Lando the dinner you made, eating your own an hour later after you finished cleaning up.
You heard the front door slam, some time during the night, around 10pm, when you were lying in bed. You didn’t make anything of it, Lando had probably gone to a party. Your eyes flickered open at shuffling around outside, a small ‘thump’, against your door making you jump. Maybe Lando had been drunk and walked into it.
A frustrated scowl crossed your face at the sound of a feminine giggle and Lando’s mumble of ‘shush, princess’. He just had to make out with his new little toy against your door, huh? Perfect. The sound of skin against skin echoed from the room opposite yours, the woman not even trying till quieten her lewd moans.
Surely he’s not that big, you thought, he can’t possibly be that good at sex to make her make those sounds. You tried to cover your ears, Lando’s groans spurring something inside of you, as you pushed it down inside of you, your hand on your ears, when suddenly, a single word made your eyes widen.
Well, not a word, a name. Your name. Y/N. That was your name. “Y/N, fuck,” Lando growled, an indignant shriek leaving the girls lips followed by a groan and a muffled snort. “Who the fuck is Y/N?” the girl shrieked, her voice annoyingly high. “Wait, please-,” Lando started, his voice muffled through the walls as you listened.
“You don’t even know my name!” the girl snapped. She was right. Lando didn’t know her name. He just needed someone to get off with, and she happened to be a little pretty. Lando groaned as the file stormed out, making no effort to stay quiet.
All Lando could do was hope the slam of the door hadn’t awoken you - let alone the moans, and you hadn’t heard your name on his lips as went to the bathroom to…deal with what had happened.
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nininikki · 11 months ago
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divorced-ish — n. kento
content warnings: ex-husband!nanami, delusional!nanami (he’s cute tho)
author’s note: sigh i need him
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ex-husband!nanami who just couldn’t stay away from you if he tried
ex-husband!nanami who you’d originally separated from on account of his work seeming to hold more priority over you, and then your newborn daughter.
ex-husband!nanami who still keeps a photo of you and the baby on his desk at his job (which, ironically, was the thing that ultimately led to his marriage failing). when asked by his nosey secretary why he still kept the photo, he only responded, “it’s my family. why wouldn’t i?”
ex-husband!nanami who had yet to actually finalize the divorce. but really, it wasn’t his fault. he just hadn’t gotten around to sending the papers over (or having them printed up at all), what with all those crazy shifts at work. oh, well, it didn’t matter. he would do it at some point.
ex-husband!nanami who had left you virtually everything in the not-so-finalized-divorce. the four bedroom, four bathroom house, your diamond 6 carat engagement ring, your wedding china, the aston martin db9 he had gifted you for your birthday, the park avenue apartment, the country house in monaco—all of it.
ex-husband!nanami who you had never been able to turn down whenever he stayed over just a little later after dropping the baby back off with you. the two of you would sit on the couch and catch up over a glass of wine. then one glass turned to two, then two to three. and for a minute it would almost feel as if you were still married.
nanami never ended up leaving until the late hours of the night. by which point you began to wonder where he’d gotten all the free time he couldn’t seem to find when you were actually married.
ex-husband!nanami who internally scoffed whenever you mentioned going on a date with another man.
“do you think you could watch her on saturday? i’ve got a date i really don’t wanna miss.” you’d asked at the tail end of an already too long (thirty minute) phone call.
nanami breathed a recognizable, pensive sigh on the other end, chewing through what he’d earlier told you was tempura, but considering how long it was taking him to answer, it may as well have been your nerves.
“you know i will, but, uh,” you heard him swallow. “a date?”
although your ex-husband didn’t exactly sound like he was joking, you couldn’t help the giggle that vibrated through your body. glancing at the clock on your nightstand that read eight-thirty and the baby sleeping soundly in the crib next to your bed, you propped the house phone between your ear and shoulder. what was the harm in killing another thirty minutes?
“yes, kento, a date. his name is scott. he’s an art dealer. i think you’d like him.”
“does scott know you’re still married?”
“separated,” you corrected him. “and no, he doesn’t. do you tell every woman who asks you out that you’re married?”
nanami hesitated for a second before answering, “yes, i do.”
ex-husband!nanami who came to your house with flowers and a store bought pumpkin pie for thanksgiving. more than you’d like to admit, you liked having him around for the holidays. he was so good with the baby, and so attentive to everything else. cleaning up all the leftovers and stray baby toys as the night came to an end.
it was nearing ten o’clock when he had successfully put the baby to sleep, and then came down to help you tidy up the downstairs. “y’know you didn’t have to buy a pie, right?” you told him after you’d discovered it hidden amongst the array of leftover pots and aluminum pans. “i know it’s your favorite. i’d have made you some.”
nanami brought his task at hand (loading the dishwasher) to a stiff halt and joined you at the island countertop. “but hey,” you added, tearing the lid off the pie. “we could see if it’s as good as the real thing.”
your ex-husband, usually the most well-spoken man you knew, could only stiffly nod in your direction while you retrieved a pair of shiny silver forks, still in the drawer they’d always been in. “and i got some whipped cream if you want.” you added as you gave him a fork, now taken aback by his sudden lack of speech. seriously, he hadn’t spoken this little since the year leading up to your separation.
what you didn’t know was that nanami couldn’t speak if he wanted to. he needed this. the three of you hadn’t had a real holiday together since last halloween, and even that was admittedly very bleak. “i miss you,” nanami blurted.
and he did. he missed your desserts for every holiday—savory pumpkin pie for thanksgiving, sweet apple pie for christmas, strawberry eclairs for valentine’s day. he missed opening his eyes every morning to the sight of your face smushed into a pillow, or a bit of drool gathering at the corner of your mouth. he missed coming home from work to the sight of you and the baby sound asleep on the couch. he missed being your husband, and even more knowing you were his wife.
ex-husband!nanami who spent the night fucking his ex-wife into the couch as though they were still married. wrapping you in his strong arms, while murmuring promises of change and betterment. “i’ll never go to work again, swear,” he said, shuddering between deep thrusts. “please just take me back, baby.”
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munsonfamilyband · 6 days ago
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Okay my recent obsession is just how Weird the rest of Hawkins must think the whole group is, but ESPECIALLY Steve. Steve is weird even in their group and he has no idea. (I also had a realization that his behavior feels so odd because he acts like he’s from the northeast not the midwest. I don’t know how to put this into words but if you’re an american from the NE you get it)
But like, here are some examples of this that I love:
Every time Steve reveals something from his childhood and who ever he is talking to feels themselves aging from the pure trauma of hearing these things
Like he will tell “funny” (read: traumatic) stories from his childhood about like falling off his bike and absolutely destroying his knees, and he dragged his bike home while his knees are dripping blood, and then he couldn’t find the bandaids so he taped paper towels to his knees. He thinks this is funny because he remembers seeing how silly he looked with big bunches of paper towel on his knees. His audience is horrified by the fact that he didn’t even mention finding his parents for help, he automatically did it himself.
He will also talk about the weird beliefs he had or didn’t have like he didn’t have a tooth fairy so when a kid came into kindergarten and showed everyone the coin he got from the tooth fairy Steve cried hard enough to need to go lay down with the nurse because he thought a monster stole the kid’s tooth. He thought something similar about Santa.
He will surprise people with the random things he does or doesn’t know how to do. He blew everyone’s minds when he just knew how to best get blood out of clothes (Nancy had thought he was lying when he told her he could save her clothes in 83). But then they get really sad about why he knows this.
Steve does know how to get most stains out of fabrics and he knows a decent amount about cooking. He doesn’t know how to iron clothes. He knows how to wash dishes or clothes by hand but using the machines ended badly too many times. (He flooded his kitchen with bubbles the first time he tried to use the dishwasher, and he ruined multiple shirts in the washer).
He watched Robin put a shirt in the bathroom before a shower and she explained it was to get the wrinkles out and that changed his life.
I also think he and Eddie met multiple times as kids but they don’t realize it for a while because when Steve talks about the interactions with Eddie a lot of the time he talks about it like the other boy was making fun of him. Eventually he shares a specific enough story that Eddie realizes that the boy with the gap in his teeth who kept leaving things on Steve’s chair at daycare was him. And then Eddie has to explain that he wasn’t bullying him, he thought Steve was pretty and wanted to be his friend.
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whorediaries-09 · 9 months ago
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I’ve been thinking alotttt about rivals! Remy where him and r have been hooking up but the r starts gaining feelings for rem and distants herself but rem is just like “what the hell?” And then they like admit their feelings when rem corners her one day curious😩
i'm sorry this took so long, but i hope you like this!!
friends;
pairing- remus lupin x reader warning(s)- cigarettes, alludes to sex, hurt/comfort. (let me know if i should add more) a/n- academic rivals to lovers is so precious to me you don't understand.
little train
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' girl, I'm not with it, I'm way too far gone i'm not ready, eyes heavy now,'
'i can't believe i've to work with your pathetic ass,' he rolled his eyes, running his fingers through his hair. your eyes wandered over to the burn marks on them, probably from all the joints he smoked. you could hear his friends laughing behind his back. even peter, the quietest and the most tolerable of the lot, was laughing. you scowled, tilting your head to meet his eyes,
'i don't remember you saying that last night. you said i've a perfect ass. maybe you have a problem of short term memory loss?' in an instant, you saw his cheeks reddening and eyes widening comically when he registered your words. his hand slapped upon your mouth, trying to shut you up.
he received a flying paper ball on his head. he turned his head around to find sirius waving his index finger at him
'not in class, moony.' he said, as peter tried not to laugh. he was measuring the ingredients written on the blackboard.
'hello my lovely students!' slughorn's overly cheery voice rang throughout the classroom. the class sang him a dull good morning. it was winter after all, most of the students wanted nothing but to snuggle up in bed within the folds of their cozy blankets drinking hot chocolate. the only energetic person was sirius, and he sang,
'good morning sluggy!' slughorn knitted his eyebrows together at the nickname but didn't say anything.
'good morning, mr. black. i see you've preferred to follow the rules for once and sit on the desk assigned to you.' sirius shrugged his shoulders, batting his eyelashes.
'you and i, we're the best matchmakers, mr. slughorn. we're a team,' what he meant, the saints knew. perhaps that would be taking a step too far, because by the slight smirk on slughorn's face, he knew what sirius meant.
'mr. black, i prefer the student and professor dynamics between us better,' he replied, scratching his eyebrow with his fingernail. sirius groaned mockingly.
'okay class, settle down. we're making amortentia today.' raising your hand, you questioned,
'the love potion?'
'yes, exactly the love potion. of course no magic is as powerful to be able to imitate real love. however, it does create a powerful infatuation, with the person who gave it to the drinker. the scent varies based on what the person likes. it's a very complicated potion to make, but anyone who makes the perf-'
his speech was interrupted by a famished lily evans who was as red as her hair and a grinning james potter. her tie was loose, dangling off her collar and his hair was ruffled. lily's usually nicely ironed uniform was full of wrinkles.
'oh wow! head boy and head girl late to class!' slughorn scowled. by the look on his face, however, he was regretting his choice to let the ever infatuated james potter and the stubborn lily evans sit together.
'just sit down the both of you!' he scolded and they entered the classroom, lily's bag almost spilling parchment and ink bottles. slughorn coughed and continued,
'so as i was saying, who ever makes the perfect love potion gets-' he put his hand into his pocket, pulling out a little bottle full of a clear liquid. '-this. can anyone tell me what this is?'
'felix felicis.' sirius said. further words conversation wasn't recorded by your mind when remus bent down, whispering in your ear,
'do you think they hooked up?' you eyes widened as you looked at him. your eyes unconsciously travelled down to his chapped lips. the taste still remained on your tongue.
'do you like- actually think before speaking? james potter and lily evans hooking up! lily would rather die, he hates the guy.' remus shrugged his shoulder, a small smirk on his lips.
'i mean, look at us, we hate each other but the other day you wouldn't let me stop eating you out-'
'oh please shut up! just get the fucking ingredients!' he smiled, as you try to hide your face with you hair, suddenly very intrigued by your book.
'okay madam,' he said, mock saluting.
*-
after a lot of banter and distractions you ended up with a potion which only looked seconds away from an explosion. there was certainly no 'mother of pearl' sheen or any rising steam in a characteristic spiral. even pearl dust couldn't save the disaster of a potion.
'oh god why did i have to work with you!' you gripped your hair with your fingers, almost pulling them off as you sat down on the chair, chewing on your lip.
'my grades will go down!' you snapped. he turned around, a wince on his face.
'so will mine. this shit is team work and if your grades go down, so will mine.' he stated. you rolled your eyes as he sat down beside you, his palm on your shoulder, giving it a slight squeeze.
'i shouldn't be comforting my academic rival but guess if you low, i go lower.' your ears perked up at the term. 'academic rival.' he didn't even consider you a friend. that's all you were to him, an academic rival, a benchmark to cross, a quick fuck when he was tired. you gulped slowly. suddenly, your throat felt very dry. you stared into his eyes, trying to decipher something, but trust god to give remus lupin the most dead eyes known to mankind.
'ohhh! we have a winner!' slughorn's voice pulled you from your thoughts. your head snapped to the source of commotion, expecting to find lily to be the winner- but it was sirius.
'mr. black, this felix felicis is yours,' he threw a charming grin to all the flushed young ladies and lads as his fingers wrapped around the little bottle. most of the girls and boys almost swooned at his antics, and some could be found a few seconds from fainting when he winked.
'get it padfoot!' james cheered. lily disapprovingly hit james' head with her book. james scowled.
'i want everybody to come and tell me what they smell in here. let's start with mr. black,' he smiled, staring at the eager faces of the young ladies and lads who surrounded him as if he was a trophy.
'i smell petrol, rain and my favorite tea. i can also smell..uh cherry flavored shampoo, and my cologne.' it was nothing very interesting. neither of them used cherry shampoo. and it wasn't just a flying rumor that sirius black rode a motorcycle.
'ah, good, good.' slughorn praised, patting his back. his eyes wandered about in the room before they stopped at your direction.
'okay yes, now you,' he said, instructing you to smell the potion. internally you called him an old cow. externally you smiled, a little more than actually required, and too fake to be a real smile. no comments were passed when you walked up to the front of the classroom, smelling the potion.
'ah- so i smell parchment, ink, coffee, vanilla....cigarettes and dark chocolate.' you stumbled upon your words when you found remus looking at you intently. you tried to ignore the burning gaze and how the blood rushed into your cheeks. slughorn coughed slightly,
'okay, now next student!' he clapped his hands together, trying to cut through the sudden tension in the room. you moved away from the smoking cauldron, walking towards your chair. sitting down, you pondered.
cigarettes? damn you, you hated cigarettes! you'd been reluctant to try one for the first time, but trust remus to roll you the perfect blunt and manipulate you to try it in the best way possible. you remembered coughing up the smoke onto his face.
dark chocolate? sure you enjoyed it here and there but it wasn't certainly something you loved. you wanted to rip out your hair.
the realization had been lingering upon your head from the last few weeks, but you didn't want to act upon it. a lot of people mistake lust for love. you were a teenager high on hormones, hooking up with remus lupin, your biggest academic rival- of course you were bound to mistake lust for life.
perhaps the heated kisses within the shadows of dark nights, the way his hands lingered upon your body, making you feel alive as he touched you down to your core, the heat crawling under your skin, dizzying your mind, the way he begged to touch you, to feel you meant more than just lust. perhaps it was closeted love. but it didn't mean good news. having a crush was fine, but falling for remus john lupin was bad news. it meant heartbreak, a new rumor for the nosy students of hogwarts.
so you did the best thing that came in your mind to maintain your feelings and keep your heart in control. it wouldn't be very effective, considering remus was your partner in potions for the year, but you'd try your best. no hooking up, just necessary conversations. all you had to do was ignore him. the less you saw him, the better.
*-
remus looked up to your face, his sweaty strands of hair sticking onto his forehead. his calloused hands gripped your waist as he thrust his hips upwards. you bent down, brushing his lips against yours. you held down his hands, pinning them above his head. he tried to crane his neck to kiss your lips, but you didn't allow him holding his hands tighter.
slowly, torturously slow you started rotating your hips. he arched his back, moaning your name, his fingers trying to grasp the fabric of the head board.
'god, you feel so fucking good,' he moaned. you smirked, your tongue swiping over your teeth.
'i know,'
suddenly, his face started to distort, and he started laughing at you. weird, that is not how you remembered that night. he was jerking you, before everything went hazy and your vision started blackening and you saw a tunnel of light. you tried to grasp onto the light, escaping the booming sound of his laughter.
it was a fucking dream. you rubbed your eyes, pushing your face into the pillow, silencing your scream, so as to not wake up the others. you hated how pathetic it made you feel. how did it happen?
within the spills of ink on parchment paper and a constant comparison, how could have your feelings changed like this. perhaps you thought of him too much. you were supposed to ignore him. in the typical sense you were, but your mind or heart wasn't ready to go.
you were standing on the edge of a fucking knife, wondering if remus lupin even considered you to be a friend. you hated yourself for falling for him. it wasn't supposed to be more than sex, a quick relief from the constant shambles of your lives, yet here you were, in the middle of the night thinking of the one you were supposed to hate.
slipping your feet into the cozy bunny slippers, you grabbed your thickest jumper. you couldn't sleep, so you might as well take a walk. james and lily were on duty, but you were sure they weren't being as responsible as they were supposed to be.
*-
it was cold. the snow that settled on the grounds was thick and milky white. the cold wind bit your skin, prickling it with goosebumps. you felt a lump in your throat thicken, and your eyes burn. you felt your heart drop. you blamed yourself for the situation you were in. it was your fault, utterly. you weren't supposed to fall for him.
even the stars couldn't calm you down with their serene rays. you dropped your head into your palms, letting the tears fall down your cheeks, sobbing silently.
'talking a walk alone at night now are we?' a voice quietly creeped up behind your back. you wiped your cheeks quickly, mentally preparing yourself to being caught by a prefect and getting your house points deducted. when you turned around, however, you were met with the amber eyes of the one you'd been thinking about. your tongue was tied in knots as you watched him drop james' invisibility cloak on the floor and walk towards you. you backed away, until your back hit the wall and there was nowhere to go.
'r-remus-' he raised an eyebrow, capturing you against the wall, his hand pressed against the wall. he leaned down, his finger crawling under your jaw and tilting your head to meet his burning amber like gaze.
'have you been crying?' he asked. you stared at him, tongue twisted in knots. but you knew it was no use lying to him. he could read you like a book.
'yes,' you nodded. he tilted an eyebrow.
'why?'
'why does it fucking matter remus? leave me alone- i'm not even your fucking friend.'
'then what are we? you've been ignoring me for the past few days, and now you're running away when i've finally got you alone.'
'nice try, lupin. you don't give a shit, so just let me go.'
'oh so you're going to decide whether i give a shit about you or not? what if i tell you i do?'
'you won't mean it.'
'i will. i've never lied to you,' he said. there was a bitter sadness in his eyes. you could see the darkness in his gaze, and even if he naturally had dead eyes, you could see a tiny ray of warmth in his gaze.
'please.' he said, letting you go. 'just tell me what's wrong. tell me what i've done. tell me how i can fix it. just...please don't ignore me.' he begged. slowly gulping, you pondered whether it was the correct moment to speak out your heart. perhaps it wasn't, but he could right through the lies. and while you had a lot of explanations hidden in your head, you could only whisper one line,
'i'm in love with you, remus,' he stared at you intently, letting your words hang before he could act upon them. you expected screaming, cussing...laughter. you didn't expect a soft gaze as he smiled at you. he slipped his finger under you jaw, tilting your head.
'i don't think you ignore the one's you're in love with,' you screwed your eyes shut, biting your lip. the blood warmly travelled to your cheeks,
'you don't feel the same, i was scared.'
'and how exactly do you know that?' you opened your eyes, to find him staring at you in utter glee.
'i've been yours before you touched me. all it took was spilled ink on my essay, sweetheart.'
********************************
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oddinary4bts · 5 months ago
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Chasing Cars | ch 12.5 (jjk)
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☆summary: when your brother goes to study on a semester abroad, your life collides with his best friend Jeon Jungkook, who's coincidentally your roommate. Will you survive the collision, or will you crumble into dust?
☆pairings: brother's best friend!Jungkook x younger sister!female reader
☆rating: 18+ (minors DNI, some chapters contain mature content)
☆genre: forbidden love?au, college!au, slice of life!au, smut, angst (as usual a lot of it), fluff
☆warnings: curses, alcohol, depression, panic attacks, unaliving attempt (ish, last scene of the drabble, do not read if it's triggering for you). basically jungkook's summer and he's severely depressed and almost proceeds to end it
☆word count: 4.6k
☆a/n: okay so this is an extremely tough one to read. the triggering scene is the last of the drabble, and I put a warning before it if you want to skip it! and if you ever need to talk, know that I'm here for you <3. I really relate to Jungkook's pain in this one, and I feel like I did not transcribe it well to paper, but I want you guys to have the drabble today so here it is :') hope you guys still enjoy even though it hurts like a bitch
☆series masterpost
☆☆☆☆☆
If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Chasing Cars, Snow Patrol
☆☆☆☆☆
Jungkook counts his heartbeats. 
One, two…
Three.
He wonders if his heart will stop beating altogether. If the screaming in his head will mute, if the burning in his lungs will soothe away. 
Everything hurts, and it’s all his fault.
It’s always his fault.
His right leg bounces up and down, and all he hears is you telling him it’s over. Over and over again. 
If only he’d never made that promise to Gabrielle…
Nausea rushes in next, the taste of bile heavy on his tongue. The screaming intensifies, ripping his soul to shreds.
He lost you. He fucking lost you.
Not that he ever had you to begin with.
Tears threaten to fall, his vision blurring, but he blinks them away. He’s sitting outside on a park bench, the cool evening wind a caress on his features, yet he feels like he’s been dunked in an iceberg. He’s too cold, and his leg just keeps on bouncing up and down, up and down, up and down.
And his heart breaks and breaks, the screaming doesn’t falter, doesn’t quiet down.
He’s going to be sick. He barely drank yet he’s going to be sick. He doesn’t even dare close his eyes - all he can picture when he does so is you, and it breaks and breaks until he lets out a pained sound, hiding his face in his hands.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he curses, and he rubs his face, rubs his eyes, tries to chase the tears on your cheeks away from his memory.
But you don’t falter - you only become clearer. 
He lost you.
He should have told you he loved you before he left for Paris. Should have held you for a little longer - how could he have been so stupid?
The last time he kissed you… right next to the door. He barely remembers it. He should have known to commit it to memory. It’s already fading - the screaming overtakes the sound of your voice.
A tear slips free, and he dries it away. Like hell he’ll allow himself to cry when it’s all his fault. 
He was trying. He was trying to do what you wanted, and it backfired in his face. Regrets burn brighter than the sun. And now he’ll have to learn how to live without you when he barely had you to begin with. 
He straightens, sitting back against the bench. The leaves rustle in the wind, the moon shines on and on. Around him, it’s like the world hasn’t stopped. But it’s stopped for him - he collided with a wall at eighty miles per hour.
Can the screaming fucking stop?
He runs a hand through his hair, toys with his lip piercings, and then he gets up, hiding his hands in the pockets of his pants as he starts walking.
He’s lost. He’s lost in the city of love - how ironic.
He wants to scream, wants to punch a wall, wants to break down. 
He wants to fly home and hold you close and never let go.
But he has to let you go. Has to let you fly. Your decision makes sense - even if it wasn’t for Gabrielle, Jungkook knows it never could have worked. He knew it on Valentine’s Day when he couldn’t resist but kiss you after wanting you for so, so long. He knew it the moment you melted against him, tasting sweeter than anything he’d ever tasted.
Like poison, disguised to strike when he’d be defenceless.
And as he walks the streets of Paris aimlessly, Jungkook wonders if he’ll make it out alive.
It takes him an hour and a half to realize he’s just been roaming, slowly but surely getting lost. With no clue how to retrace his steps, Jungkook leans against the wall, eyeing a rat running on the other side of the street. He tries to breathe, but his lungs are crushed under the weight of what just happened, and all he can think to do is grab his phone to call for help.
To call for help, to call for the one person that caused it all. 
Gabrielle stops in front of him some time later, rolling down the window of her car. In another world, Jungkook would have teased her for driving a Porsche, for flaunting her money like that, but all he can do is open the door and crash in the passenger side.
“JK?” Gabrielle lets out.
He’s crying. He starts crying, and it’s weak and pathetic, and Gabrielle doesn’t say anything before driving away. 
The tears recede. They recede before they get to their destination, and Jungkook is relieved when he sees that it’s not the Air Bnb. That it’s some kind of fancy apartment complex, and he follows behind Gabrielle as she leads him up the stairs and to her apartment. She unlocks the door, throwing him a concerned look, and he waits until they’re inside before talking.
Before voicing the pain in his heart.
“It’s your fault.”
Gabrielle gulps. “Do you want to sit down?”
“It’s your fucking fault,” is all Jungkook manages to repeat.
There’s a silence, and Gabrielle kicks off her shoes before heading towards the couch. Jungkook doesn’t register the luxurious apartment as he follows her in - it’s like the edges of his vision are red, and all he sees is the one thing that made him lose you.
“What happened?” Gabrielle asks as he sits.
“She ended things with me.” Jungkook rubs his face. “Because you kissed me yesterday.”
New tears slip free, and Jungkook hates them. Hates the weight that they bear on his heart, on his shoulders.
“Who ended things with you?”
Jungkook leans back against the couch, shutting his eyes. And then you’re everywhere, and he sees Valentine’s Day. He sees your sparkly eyes in New York, he remembers how you used to hold him.
You’ll never hold him again.
“OC.”
Gabrielle sighs. “Putain, Jungkook. You lied about her.”
“I didn’t have a choice,” Jungkook whispers, unable to put the blame on you. “She asked me not to tell anyone, and then Tae was on Facetime with her yesterday and she saw us kissing and she ended things, and I won’t even be able to give her the gift I got for her.”
“Jungkook,” Gabrielle says, voice gentle and soothing, and Jungkook only then realizes that he can’t fucking breathe.
He’s hyperventilating. Everything burns and he can’t breathe - maybe you truly were the oxygen in his lungs.
“Deep breaths,” Gabrielle tells him. “Breathe with me.”
Jungkook feels his entire body freezing up, locking up. As if the thought of living without you is the predator, and he is just the prey. But he breathes with Gabrielle, feels the wave of the panic pass until he’s drained, his hands shaking slightly.
“Tell her, Jungkook,” Gabrielle says then. “Tell her everything. I don’t care if she knows.”
“I love her so much,” he confesses, and he’s crying again.
Gabrielle slides closer to him, and she rubs his back as he cries. It’s not as comforting as it should be - in the end, he still lost you. And Gabrielle doesn’t understand that he can’t tell you. That, even if he did, he still lost you. Because you never wanted Taehyung to know. 
That won’t change. 
It’s not like he can tell you anyway. Because what would Taehyung think, if you were willing to tell your brother? Jungkook would need to tell Taehyung about Gabrielle’s secret too, and he can’t do that to her.
Not when they were all they had growing up.
“You tell her,” Gabrielle repeats. “S’il-te-plait, Jungkook. Don’t lose her for me. Ça ne vaut pas la peine.”
What she doesn’t understand is, he’s already lost you. And he didn’t even deserve you anyway, not when he always fucks everything up. If it wasn’t for Gabrielle yesterday, he would have found a way to fuck it all up by himself.
No matter how much it hurts, Jungkook knows that you’re better off without him.
*****
Jungkook rereads the letter he’s written. He’s surprised he managed to keep paper free of the tears that have been rolling down his cheeks.
They’ve been staining his sheets instead, as he cries and chases your scent on his pillow.
He’s painfully aware that you’ve been sleeping in his room. The carefully made bed and the neatly folded t-shirt that you left on the night table are clear indications of it. And though Jungkook hadn’t planned on going home for the summer, the second he saw his room, he knew he had to go.
He can’t be near you. Not right now, when every single one of his breaths cut like shards of glass. So he decided to go home for the summer, to face the wrath of his family because at least that is familiar, that is something he can deal with…
He clenches his jaw hard, blinking away the sudden onset of tears. It recedes without leaving the confines of his eyes, and he manages to finish rereading the letter. 
He glances at the jewellery box on his night table next, and he dares to imagine what would have happened if you hadn’t broken up. He imagines your smile, your teasing when you’d realize he got you a gift. A cheesy one at that, but the second he’d seen it, he’d just known he had to get it for you. So he’d bought it while everyone was distracted by something else, hiding it deep in his pocket like you’d been hiding deep in his heart. So he imagines giving it to you again and again, your gentle laugh and light blush invading his thoughts. You kiss him to thank him, and he goes weak in the knees, because when doesn’t he go weak in the knees for you?
But life had other plans for you and him than the simple act of giving you a gift. Indeed, life decided distance was meant for you and him, and though he believes he might die from it, Jungkook just wants to respect your decision.
He gets up from his bed, knowing that he’ll never be able to leave the letter and the gift in your room if he doesn’t do it now. So he folds the letter, puts it in the envelope on which he already wrote your name, and then he goes to the door of his room. 
Taehyung and Ariane left to do some quick groceries ten minutes ago, yet Jungkook still makes sure the apartment is silent before actually stepping out of his room, heading down the hallway towards yours. And though it aches and burns and stabs and pains, he pushes the door open.
Your room is unchanged. He can almost picture the two of you tangling in your bed during the power outage, but he ignores the memories - they haven’t been doing him any good after all. He gently puts the jewellery box and the letter on the bed, and then he takes a step back. Stops in the door frame, eyes your room once again. He takes it all in, inhales the lingering scent of your perfume - the vanilla one that he was obsessed with - and then he closes the door on you, on his story with you.
It aches so fiercely that he tumbles back, almost falls, and then he heads to his room, to hide his face in his sheets hoping that the pain might finally recede.
It doesn’t. Especially not when Ariane and Taehyung come back, laughing together, reminding Jungkook that not everyone is breaking. It’s only him, and he assumes you too, though he tries not to think about that too much, because the guilt would eat him alive.
The guilt does eat him alive when he hears you coming home from work later, when he wakes from troubled sleep. He hadn’t meant to fall asleep, but then he hears your voice, and he remembers when you were whispering against his skin in the dead of night.
He doesn’t let himself break again. Instead, he packs his duffel bag, and then lies on his bed again. If only so that he can listen to you a little more before saying goodbye.
Jungkook startles at the sound of a knock on his door. He sits up, heart beating wildly in his chest as he dares imagine it’s you. But it’s not - it’s Taehyung, and they exchange a long look before Taehyung speaks.
“You hungry?”
“Not really,” Jungkook immediately replies.
Taehyung slightly frowns, glancing at the duffel bag, but he doesn’t say anything. He softly shuts the door behind himself to head back to the kitchen, and Jungkook sits there, the beginning of a panic attack starting to squeeze his lungs.
He hadn’t had panic attacks since he was in high school, but it seems that losing you has ignited them again, and he’s had a couple of them over the last few days. But he tries to remember to breathe, to not let it get to his head, and though it takes a moment, he eventually calms down.
He has to go. Has to leave before the panic truly seizes him and he dies.
He’s up and out of his room a second later, and though he knew he was going to see you, he freezes in the kitchen’s doorway. He just looks at you - you look tired, exhausted, and your eyes are just as haunted as his.
He doesn’t know what he says. Just tries to commit you to memory - your eyes, your hair, the way he feels naked and seen when you look at him. He commits your lips to memory too, and tries to compose a song with your voice in his head, something to listen to when  he’ll be gone. 
And then he turns his back on you to go put his shoes on. He hears Taehyung follow him more than he sees him, yet Taehyung remains silent until Jungkook is outside, the fresh evening air a soothing balm for the new panic rising in his heart.
“Are you okay?” Taehyung asks.
It’s not the first time Taehyung has asked since Jungkook lost you, but the answer doesn’t change. “Yeah, all good,” Jungkook lies, turning to face Taehyung.
Taehyung seems fully unconvinced. “You know, if you need to talk, you can talk to me, right?”
Jungkook almost wants to laugh, because that’s the last thing he can do.
“Thanks,” he says. “I appreciate.”
There’s an awkward silence, and Taehyung sighs. “I don’t know what happened with you and Gaby, but JK, please don’t let that fuck you up like this.”
“I’m okay,” Jungkook insists, pain and anger seeping in his voice. “I just want to go home.”
Jungkook is too much of a coward to hold Taehyung’s gaze, and his eyes drop to a spot on the ground between them.
“Well in that case, drive safe,” Taehyung says. “And text me when you get there.”
Jungkook nods curtly. “Will do.”
It looks like Taehyung wants to say something else. Especially as he glances inside, but Jungkook doesn’t wait. He turns around, walks down the stairs, and heads to where his car is parked. Taehyung doesn’t call his name, but Jungkook feels the weight of his gaze on his back.
And though part of him wants to, he doesn’t look back.
*****
Jungkook has always hated his father’s office. He’s never liked visiting JJS pharmaceuticals, and it hasn’t changed now that he’s a full-grown adult who should be indifferent to corporate buildings and tailor-made suits and the formality of his dad’s luxurious office. Yet, he’s still intimidated, still feels like he shouldn’t be here…
But this office will be his one day, now that he’s accepted to take over the company because Junghyun chose to start his own.
The office stands at the top of a skyscraper, offering a beautiful view of Manhattan, yet Jungkook doesn’t like it. He feels too far from the people down in the street, barely visible from such a height that he’s not even sure if they’re real or not. Like he’s disconnected - no wonder all the money and power have gotten to his father’s head.
Jungkook looks over his shoulder as the door of the office opens. To his surprise, it’s his mother walking in, and she dismisses her bodyguard as she heads towards him.
“Jungkook,” she greets him in that cold way she’s always reserved for him. 
He nods, turning to face the city again. “Mother.”
“I’m glad you have come to your senses.”
They were at the conference press earlier. Jungkook still feels like his eyes are burning from all the flashing lights, and his face still hurts from the fake smile he tried to keep on for the family image’s sake.
“I’m sorry?” he lets out.
“Though we are proud of Junghyun for his decision to start his own company, we’ve been worried about you taking over JJS,” she continues, entirely ignoring Jungkook.
He clenches his jaw, choosing to remain silent this time around.
“But then again, I think you just needed to have your eyes opened by that girl,” she adds. “What was her name again?” 
Jungkook’s heart feels like it’s been thrown in acid at the reminder of you, but he still refuses to answer.
“Nothing strengthens a man more than heartbreak,” his mother finishes. “Right?”
He takes a deep breath, knowing that he’s expected to answer this. “I guess so.”
His mother surveys him with that cold look of hers, slightly shaking her head. “We warned you about her, Jungkook.”
“What you said had nothing to do with why we broke up,” Jungkook spits. “Stop fucking bringing it up all the time.”
His mother’s gaze barely widens at the curse, and Jungkook hates that she’s so used to being disappointed in him that she doesn’t even say anything.
“In time you will see that I am right,” she says. “That… girl was just out to take advantage of you. It’s good that she’s out of the picture now.”
Jungkook’s heart breaks, like it’s been breaking since Paris. Like it’s been breaking every time you cross his mind. He never thought he could hurt so much - hell, he hasn’t slept or eaten properly since he came back to New York, surviving off of coffee and Buldak noodles. 
“If you ever say one more thing about her,” Jungkook seethes through his teeth, “I’m pulling out of the contract. JJS can go to fucking hell for all I care.”
He storms away. He doesn’t want to know what his mother has to say, just knows that he needs air and a glass of water before he collapses, the weight of his broken heart so heavy that he thinks it puts the weight of the universe to shame.
He truly has been breaking, shattering, crumbling to the ground. He never thought love could hurt so bad, but what is this pain if not the proof that he truly, fully loved you?
That night, Jungkook forces himself to eat a real meal. And though it tastes like ash, he reckons one day it might be able to overcome the taste of heartbreak that’s been lingering since he lost you.
***** (tw s**cide attempt-ish in this last scene, so please do not read if that is triggering for you)
Jungkook is drunk. He’s drunk and the city lies at his feet, the breeze fresh high up here. It plays in his hair, and he imagines it’s you instead. He imagines it’s your fingers, and that he can reach for you, if he dares to.
He takes a step closer to the edge, unsteady on his feet. Perhaps it’s the call of the emptiness in front of him - it’s so similar to the emptiness that has been his constant since he came back to New York and had that press conference. His mind is empty - there’s a hole where his emotions should be.
He’s a void. An empty husk, and two steps forward and he won’t have to deal with anything anymore. Won’t have to deal with his father calling him worthless - but hey, at least he’s talking to him again. Won’t have to deal with his mother calling him a disappointment, to deal with his brother ignoring his calls. 
Won’t have to deal with the guilt of losing you.
He’s alone, and lonely, and guilty and everything in between. It’s fucking eating him alive.
Jungkook takes a swig of the wine bottle in his hand, and then takes another step forward. He’s not allowed to be on this part of the roof - he had to climb over a fence to get here, and he still hears the sounds of the party in the distance. But he’s out of sight, and Lisa hasn’t come looking for him yet.
He’s on the edge of the roof. All it would take is a strong gust of wind, and he’d finally be free. But he doesn’t take another step forward. Not yet. Not when he remembers you - your smile is soothing the pain in his chest, and he holds on to it, if only for a moment.
His phone starts ringing, and Jungkook startles, dropping the bottle of wine. It slips off the edge of the roof, and Jungkook watches it as it falls and falls, and then explodes when it hits the pavement. It’s gore, his brain pictures himself there instead, and he takes a step back.
Jungkook grabs his phone. It’s Lisa calling, but for a moment, he lets himself imagine it’s you. He almost believes it - he’d pick up, and you’d tell him that you miss him, and he’d admit he almost texted you every day since returning to New York. But it’s not you - in this universe, you don’t even talk at all anymore.
“Hey,” he says when he finally picks up.
“Where are you?” Lisa asks.
He looks around. “Just on the roof.”
There’s a silence as Lisa moves away from the music on her side of the line. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah.”
She doesn’t believe him. He knows she doesn’t, especially when she says, “Don’t move, okay? I’ll come find you.”
Jungkook nods. “Mmh.”
“But you have to tell me where you are,” she adds. “Do you think you can do that?”
“I’m on the roof,” Jungkook repeats, his tone flatter than the flatline that’s been echoing in his head since he lost you.
“Yes.” He thinks he hears her gulp, and then her voice is filled with panic. “Where are you exactly?”
“Ah,” Jungkook lets out. “There’s a fence on the roof. Climbed over that.”
“Jungkook…” Lisa trails off. “I’ll be right there in a moment, okay? Just wait for me.”
He makes a noncommittal sound, and just keeps looking at the shattered bottle down in the street. He has half a thought that it could have killed someone as it fell, yet he can’t bring himself to care. Not when a dark corner of his heart wishes it was him instead.
“Please stay on the line,” Lisa adds.
Jungkook doesn’t answer. Just listens to Lisa’s breathing as she makes her way to him. And then he hears the shuffle of her feet behind him, and he hangs his phone up, putting it back in his pocket.
“Hey,” Lisa says behind him. “Do you think you could step away from the edge of the roof?”
Jungkook shrugs. “What’s the point?”
“Please, Jungkook,” Lisa lets out. 
He barely recognizes her voice through the panic it holds, and he glances at her over his shoulder.
“What’s the fucking point, Liz?”
“Just step away from the edge of the roof and then we can talk, okay?” she says.
He clenches his jaw. “I don’t know.”
“Please,” Lisa says again. “I just want us to sit here and talk.”
Jungkook turns, and he sways. His heart lurches in his chest - for a moment, he thinks he’ll fall. But then he steadies himself, and he walks away from the edge of the roof, sitting next to where Lisa is standing.
She’s crying. He notices she’s crying and that, more than anything, breaks the dam inside of him.
“Holy fuck, Liz,” he lets out, and the tears finally break free.
Lisa sits next to him, pulling him in her chest as he cries, sobs racking through him. The pain is sharp as ever, a knife stabbing through his chest repeatedly. Everything hits him all at once - his family’s hate, his inability to control his own future, you… 
Yet the thing that hurts the most is the fact he lost you. Because he would have been able to live a life in hell if it’d been a life next to you but now…
Now he just feels lost.
“What’s going on with you?” Lisa asks through the tears that stains her own cheeks.
Jungkook lets out a bitter chuckle. “Everything. Everything’s wrong.”
“What happened?” 
Jungkook takes a deep breath, and then he confesses his love for you. Because it always goes back to you, and he wishes you were here with him instead.
“I was in love with OC,” he says. “You were right. But I lost her, and my family hates me, and I’m going to have to work for my dad and I just feel like life is so shitty. I’m so tired, Liz, you have no idea.”
“Jungkook…” she whispers, and her arms tighten around him, like she’s trying to hold his pieces together. “I am so sorry. And I know no words can truly help, but you are not alone.”
“I can’t even speak to Tae anymore because I’m convinced he’ll hate me,” Jungkook adds, and he wipes his cheeks dry. “Fuck.”
“You have me,” she whispers.
He hates it. He wishes she wasn’t there - some part of him wishes she hadn’t stopped him. Because he knows she has feelings for him, it’s always been obvious, and he’s only going to hurt her, too.
“I really loved OC…” he confesses.
“I know.” She runs a soothing hand on his back. “What happened?”
Jungkook tells her about Paris, keeping Gabrielle’s secret a secret, as he’s done his entire life. It makes him look even worse, he’s aware of it - how can he justify cheating on you without saying the full truth?
Simple - he can’t. Yet Lisa doesn’t call him an asshole. Doesn’t seem to judge him at all. No, she listens to him all night, clearly relieved that he’s not trying to jump off the roof anymore. And when she tells him she’ll help him find a therapist, Jungkook agrees. He agrees, because he’s tired of hating himself so much. He’s tired of everything, but maybe it’s time he tries to make it better.
If only so that he can live long enough to see you again. Because he wants to see you again. Wants to hear your voice again, wants to make sure you’re okay, better than he is. He likes to think you are - you have your friends and your family, and he knows they wouldn’t let you down.
By the time the sun rises, the flow of words that have been cascading from his mouth slows down, leaving him empty, yet it’s not the same. The void isn’t as dark anymore, like maybe there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. 
And though maybe he’ll break her heart one day by not being able to offer more than platonic friendship, Jungkook knows he’ll forever be thankful that Lisa stopped him from committing the irreparable. 
Read chapter 12 here!
☆☆☆☆☆
yeah so... I know it doesn't justify what he did, and the kiss with gabrielle but... my babie is broken and he needs a big big hug (and a lot of therapy so thank you Lisa for suggesting it). Feel free to talk to me if you need it <3
All rights reserved to @/oddinary4bts, 2024. Do not copy, repost or translate.
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freyaphoria · 4 months ago
Text
Run Away Together (Part II)
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a/n: It's me again! I apologize for making you wait months for the second part of this. First of all, this is the continuation of the first part I wrote, the main story. Since everything got so mixed, I feel the need to state it again. This story is the continuation of the fic where reader and hwa tried to escape and joong shot reader in the leg. I will start writing the second part of Passion to Punishment. And I would like to thank my babe, @matzrionette , for her contributions♡ PLEASE READ THE FIC SHE WROTE, I READ IT THREE TIMES EVERY DAY
tw: yan!hongjoong, poor hwa:( , blood, violence, bone fracture, failed escape attempt, punishment, swearing, knife, gun, killing, being shot, fever, painkiller use, body bruise, bone breaking with an iron rod, fainting, slightly gore, manipulation, hurt comfort(HAJDMDJ sorry), I had so much fun writing Jongho's parts, Yunho is at the crime scene AGAIN, kinda seongjoong
wc: 6.5k
taglist: @aim-blossom
Yan!Matz masterlist
<- previous part
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Hongjoong, with his hands covered in blood from bandaging his new doll, opened the basement door, locked the two of them inside, and went upstairs. He had to do it; he had to hurt them. The tension in the air was palpable as he ascended the creaky wooden stairs, each step echoing the weight of his decision. Hongjoong's mind raced with conflicting emotions. He knew that to protect you, protect Seonghwa, drastic measures were necessary, even if it meant compromising his own morals. The blood on his hands was a stark reminder of the lengths he was willing to go to keep you here. As he reached the top of the stairs, he know that the consequences of his actions would haunt him for a long time to come.
Seonghwa’s attempt to escape after months, and your somehow convincing him, was an indication that Hongjoong’s plans were going well. Did Seonghwa breaking his rules make him unhappy? Yes, it did cause him a measure of displeasure. However, at this moment, what truly mattered was not Hongjoong’s feelings. After all, in the grand scheme of things, he would ultimately get what he desired; he had the power to make Seonghwa worship him once again. That was not what mattered right now.
After stepping out of the shower, Hongjoong meticulously put on his new clothes, carefully combed, and dried his growing hair. This grooming routine ensured he looked exceedingly neat, normal, and entirely harmless. His youthful yet captivating appearance was a highly effective tool in gaining the trust of his unsuspecting victims. People were drawn to his neat, his warm smile, the soft and gentle tone of his voice, the light that sparkled in his eyes, the professional gestures he employed while speaking, and the seamless harmony of the words he chose. Just like Seonghwa did...
If he lingered at home any longer, he would be late, so he quickly got ready and packed his belongings into a backpack. The weather had gotten colder compared to two hours ago when he had shot one of his victims and dragged the other inside, and he was angry with himself for not wearing his jacket and putting it in his bag. After quickly getting into his car and starting it, he turned on the heater and took out the paper from the glove compartment. He knew where he was going, but he still wanted to check. He saw photos of a man in the file. In the first photo on his profile, the old man's wrinkled eyes were full of life and shone with a light that was unexpected from his age. Hongjoong took pleasure in very few things as much as he took pleasure in making lively people lose their zest for life.
When he reviewed the file again and reached the last page, he suddenly hit his forehead with his hand in frustration. He was supposed to inform someone before leaving the house, but it had completely slipped his mind. He quickly went to the contacts on his phone, scrolling through the list, and was just about to find the name of the person he needed to inform when the phone rang. The unexpected call interrupted his search, and he hesitated for a moment before answering. When he saw who was calling, he realized he was indeed late, and the person on the other end of the line was likely angry with him.
“Why the fuck are you late?”
“How the fuck are you talking to your hyung like that?” Hongjoong fastened his seatbelt and put the files back in the glove compartment.
"Hyung my ass. I’m freezing here, hurry up or I’ll screw you the first moment I see you.”
“Shut up, I’m in the car, I’m coming"
“Hurry up, asshole.” All he wanted was a little respect, but he was looking for it in the wrong place. Respect was currently in the basement, probably calming down his new little lover. Hongjoong drove the car out of the parking lot and hit the road.
︶꒦︶꒷︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶꒷꒦‧ ₊˚・
You had started to come to your senses. Hongjoong, the most considerate person in the world, had taken the bullet out of your leg without any anesthetic and stitched it up, causing you to pass out from the pain. But being extremely considerate, he had given you a choice: “Pick your own punishment, either I take that bullet out without any drugs, or I don’t take it out and it stays there.” You were going to choose the second option at first, but because living with a constantly bleeding wound that nearly exposed your bone and getting infected in this dusty basement would be impossible, you chose the first option.
And oh, when he inserted a big tweezer into your leg to remove the bullet, the pain was so intense that you wished you would die from the infection. The searing agony felt like it would never end. Maybe you didn't realize he hurt you so much on purpose, but the last thing you remember is Seonghwa holding your hand tightly, his grip firm and unwavering. His eyes were swollen and red from crying, tears streaming down his face as he whispered words of comfort, trying to keep you conscious and hopeful. The room around you seemed to blur, but Seonghwa's presence was the only thing that kept you grounded in those harrowing moments. Still, Seonghwa wasn’t very successful and you left yourself in the darkness of your mind.
"Angel! You're awake!" As Seonghwa crawled towards you, you tried to sit up from where you were lying. The constant pain in your leg and the cold spreading throughout your body made you jump and shiver suddenly. "Wait, don't get up suddenly." When you looked at him, you saw that his legs were bruised and swollen. It looked like the bruises on his skin were about to burst and bleed, as if he had been hit by something very hard. "H-Hwa? What happened to you?" your voice came out very hoarse, all that shouting and gasping in pain had dried your throat. Despite feeling freezing cold, the warmth coming from within you made you uncomfortable and you started to shiver. "Don't worry, I'm fine, but you have a fever. We need to bring it down." Seonghwa placed his hand on your sweaty forehead to check your temperature. His hands were trembling, and if you looked closely, you could also see his lips trembling.
"Is he still here?" you asked in a low and nervous voice, your eyes darting around the dark basement as if expecting him to appear any second. He shook his head slowly, his expression a mix of relief and concern. "He left about half an hour ago," he replied, his voice steady as he tried to stay calm and not alarm you.
He dragged himself on the ground again, his movements slow and labored, trying to reach the bathroom in the basement. You watched him with growing anxiety, the silence between you heavy with unspoken questions. "What did he do to your legs?" you asked, your voice barely above a whisper, but he didn't answer. Instead, he wet a tissue and came back to you, his face pale and etched with pain.
"Hwa, did he break your legs?" you asked again, your voice trembling as you tried to understand the extent of his injuries. He looked at you with haunted eyes, the silence stretching on, making your heart pound even harder.
When the wet and cold tissue touched your forehead, you shivered and wanted to pull back, but Seonghwa held your head with one hand, preventing you from retreating. “It doesn’t matter. We need to lower your fever first.” As he moved the napkin from your face to your neck, you flinched more and tried to move forward to escape, but your injured leg hit Seonghwa’s probably broken leg. A deep, pain-filled groan came from Seonghwa, and he tried to hold his leg. “Seonghwa! I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to do that.” While Seonghwa continued to writhe in pain, he nodded at you and tried to smile as much as the pain allowed. “It-it’s okay. It-it will pass soon- Agh….” “We need to wrap your leg, there must be a cloth here, right?” When Seonghwa saw you moving, he grabbed your shoulder and tried to lay you back down. “I’ll take care of it, you worry about yourself. Your fever is too high.” He could never be convinced. Once he set his mind on something, he would definitely do it, and if he didn’t want to do something, he would never do it, so you didn’t argue with him further.
Seonghwa managed to lower your fever a bit and found a painkiller from the depths of the basement; its expiration date had passed by 3 months, and normally you shouldn’t take it, but it was a mild herbal medicine, and you really needed it. To see if you would be okay after taking it, Seonghwa tried it himself first and, not seeing any side effects, gave it to you as well. And surprisingly, it worked. Seonghwa hid these medicines in one of the most cluttered parts of the basement in case such an event happened again. As your pain eased, your fatigue fully surfaced, and you let yourself fall asleep. Seeing that you fell asleep willingly without passing out, Seonghwa felt a bit relieved. As he saw your fever dropping and the bleeding from your wound stopping, he remembered he needed to treat himself.
His leg was extremely swollen and constantly aching, a persistent pain that seemed to get worse with each passing moment. The pain was so intense that it made him feel dizzy and lightheaded, as if the world around him was spinning, and the painkiller he took didn’t work for him. He thought about taking another one but didn’t, in case you needed it again since it worked for you. Hongjoong had probably broken both of his legs with an iron rod, right below the calf.
He couldn't stand on both of his legs; previously, he had hit his leg with an iron rod because he had tried to escape, but at that time, he could still stand a little. This time, it was impossible. It must have been definitely broken. The sharp pain was spreading from his ankle to his thighs, and from there to his entire body, becoming unbearable. It felt as if his entire body was broken, with pain everywhere. Every part of him hurt with each heartbeat and blood pump, making it impossible for him to stay still. The pain was making him dizzy, and his vision was starting to darken. If he didn't pull himself together, he would faint, and if he woke up only to find that Hongjoong's anger hadn't subsided and he attacked her again, he wouldn't be able to protect her while unconscious. But why was he protecting her in the first place? Was it because he felt guilty? Because he had given Hongjoong the idea to kidnap her? Maybe Hongjoong should have killed her right there.
He needed to pull himself together; he was sweating profusely, even in this cold basement. Crawling was excruciating, as if his leg was being sanded with sandpaper and his skin was being set on fire. Nevertheless, he had to wash his face. He had to do something, or he would lose himself. He pulled himself forward using his arms towards the sink. His arms also hurt; Hongjoong had hit his arm when he raised it to defend himself, but at least it wasn't broken. Compared to the pain in his leg, the pain in his arm was nothing. But the most painful thing was breaking Hongjoong's trust.
He shouldn't have done it, yes, he had gone too far. He had ruined Hongjoong's trust in 5 minutes and didn't know if Hongjoong would trust him the same way again. But freedom had seemed very tempting. It meant he still wasn't a completely obedient toy to him, he needed more shaping. He noted to himself that when Hongjoong returned home, he would need to fall at his feet, apologize hundreds of times, and beg for his forgiveness.
He gave a sigh of relief when he reached the sink with tears streaming down his face from the pain. It had taken him about 5 minutes to get there from your side, even though it would normally take a regular person 10 seconds. If you suddenly called him, he couldn't come immediately, so he had to finish it quickly and return to your side. He lifted himself using the strength from his arms, each muscle straining with effort, and bent over the sink. He tried not to put any weight on his feet, which throbbed with a dull, persistent pain. When he quickly washed his face with the cold water, the sensation momentarily jolting him awake, he let himself fall back to the ground and groaned in pain. He balled up a piece of toilet paper, wet it under the faucet, and, leaning heavily against the door frame, placed it on his ankle as a makeshift cold compress. He looked over at you sleeping calmly on the other side of the basement, your breathing steady and peaceful. He wished so much that he could sleep like you right now, to escape his pain and find some semblance of rest… Maybe he could sleep. His head was spinning, and the floor wasn't stable, it felt like he was on a roller coaster. As his head and eyelids grew heavier, his body began to relax. The pain hadn't gone away, it was still there, but at least he wasn't thinking about it right now. He would sleep, even if Hongjoong came here and took you, he would sleep, he needed it so much. The cold wetness of the wet paper ball on his leg had calmed him, and he let himself fall asleep.
︶꒦︶꒷︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶꒷꒦‧ ₊˚・
"If you keep complaining about the weather a little more, Jongho, I'll throw you out of the car and you'll walk the whole way. I even turned on the heater for you, what more do you want?" Jongho shoved his hands into his pockets and glared at Hongjoong while shivering. "You accepted this gig, dragged me along, and now you're saying you'll throw me out of the car?" Jongho snapped angrily in one go. "You also chose to team up with me, you could have told Yunho, and he would have changed it. So stop whining." After Hongjoong's harsh response, the younger one sighed, sank into his seat, and started watching the road through the car window.
They weren't a good team, they constantly bickered and argued over the smallest things, but they still got their work done and left no evidence behind. "We're here, wake up, princess." Hongjoong said with a mocking tone as soon as they arrived. Jongho, who had been in a light sleep, immediately woke up and punched Hongjoong in the arm. "I'm not that little mouse you took into your home, don't call me that again, bastard." If they didn't have a job to do, they would probably have fought each other, but they knew if they didn't get the job done on time, Yunho would nag them. "Move, don't dawdle." Hongjoong got out of the car and looked at the ultra-luxurious villa adorned with lights. 'Same scenario again...' he thought to himself
They had paid a large amount to kill that old man to Hongjoong and Jongho, and now the reason was understood. Another rich businessman, another money-related murder. "How do these bastards have so much money?" Jongho stuck his head out of the car and looked at the mansion, which was almost invisible from the lights. "They don't sit at home jerking off like you, they work." Hongjoong spoke as he opened his trunk and took out his equipment. "What am I doing right now? Do you see my dick out or am I on the job?" Jongho also joined Hongjoong and started rummaging through his bag.
The mansion was four stories tall and very wide, built in a new architecture, and the ornamental shrubs in its garden looked recently pruned. As Yunho had said, surprisingly, only two security guards were protecting this huge house, and they didn't seem to be paying much attention to their surroundings. They could easily be killed. Hongjoong put on his special gloves and mask, took his gun and spare bullets. Normally, he wouldn't go on a mission with so little equipment, but Yunho had told them that even a few bullets would suffice, and they trusted him. He and his team had never made a mistake.
After dressing, Jongho threw his bag into the car and closed the car door. Outside, the only sound other than the wind was the two security guards talking as if they were discussing something very important. Both guards were taller than them but very distracted. Even though Hongjoong’s car wasn't very far away, the gurads still hadn't noticed them. With Hongjoong's signal, the two of them advanced from the side of the car to the front yard, towards the guards. Jongho usually preferred to use a knife; he was very good in close combat. Hongjoong was also good, but Jongho was much stronger than him.
They continued to approach silently. Since the house lights illuminated the entire path, there was nowhere to hide or camouflage; they had to be quick and attack as soon as they approached. Using the garden wall as cover, they got closer and were now very close to the guards. Jongho wondered how such careless people could be guards, but it worked in his favor. Thanks to that, he would complete his mission and receive a large amount of money he had never received before.
The guards were about three meters in front of them. In this silence, Jongho and Hongjoong could hear all their conversations, even their breathing. They had prepared themselves to kill them instantly. If Yunho was wrong and there were more guards, they didn't know what they would do.
Jongho stepped in front of Hongjoong and took his long and large knife in his left hand; he waited for Hongjoong's signal.
Hongjoong pulled the trigger of his suppressor-equipped gun, ensuring he held it properly with both hands for maximum stability. The suppressor wouldn't completely block the sound of the shot, but it would significantly muffle it. Since they were in an open area and the distance between the entrance and the house was far, it could prevent those inside the house from hearing the noise.
The two of them made eye contact, their gazes locking in silent communication. Hongjoong raised his eyebrows, a clear gesture indicating that he was waiting for approval from Jongho. Understanding the unspoken question, Jongho blinked in confirmation. With a steady hand, Hongjoong pulled his left hand away from the gun, making sure Jongho could see his every move. He showed three fingers to Jongho, signaling a countdown. Then, he lowered one finger, then two, and then one. And as Jongho grabbed the neck of the man with his back turned and stabbed him with the knife, Hongjoong simultaneously shot the man facing the knife-wounded man in the forehead. It had taken no more than 3 seconds for both to die, and as they had predicted, no other guards came from anywhere else. It was a very quiet job; everything had happened in an instant.
Now they had left the man on the ground with blood gushing from his neck and the other man whose brains were scattered all over the road and entered the garden to proceed towards their main goal, towards the mansion.
︶꒦︶꒷︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶꒷꒦‧ ₊˚・
Suddenly, you were jolted awake by a sharp, piercing pain. As your consciousness slowly returned, you realized that your leg was bleeding from the area where it had been stitched up. It seemed that during your sleep, you must have made a wrong move, causing the stitches to tear open. The pain was so intense and overwhelming that for a brief moment, you completely forgot where you were and what was happening around you. The room seemed to blur as your mind struggled to catch up with the sudden burst of agony.
"Hwa..." You called out weakly to him, but got no response. The place where you were lying was stained and damp with the mixture of blood and the wet cloth that Hwa had used to bring down your fever. Your wound was definitely going to get infected. You tried to see Seonghwa in the darkness of the basement but it was nearly impossible. The reflection of the moonlight from the small window only illuminated the area in front of you. At least you knew he wasn't nearby.
"Hwa, are you here?" you called out, raising your voice slightly. The tension in your tone was unmistakable, filled with worry and fear. Seonghwa would never leave you alone after a punishment, especially not when you were suffering from a fever and bleeding. It was so unlike him. As the blood from your leg ran down your thighs once more, you felt a sharp pang of pain. Your vision blurred slightly, and you realized just how parched you were. The thirst crept up on you, making your mouth feel dry and your throat scratchy. You needed water, but more than that, you needed Seonghwa by your side to reassure you that everything would be okay.
The only continuous water source in the basement was the water from the sink, and there was no problem with drinking it. Besides, even if there was an issue, you had to drink it. Your mouth was very dry, and your lips were cracked.
You didn't want to try standing up; it would hurt too much. The idea of enduring another layer of pain on top of the already unbearable one was simply inconceivable. So, instead, you gathered all the strength you could muster and began to drag yourself towards the sink, relying heavily on your good leg and the support of your arms. As you slowly inched your way forward, you were startled by the sight of a silhouette leaning on the bathroom door. Your heart immediately started to beat rapidly, pounding in your chest, and you were gripped by a sudden sense of panic, not knowing what to do next. In your frantic state, you attempted to crawl back in the opposite direction, desperate to escape whatever danger the shadow might represent. But then, a low, agonized familiar groan emanated from the shadow, causing you to pause in your tracks. The sound was filled with such pain that it made you stop crawling.
"Seonghwa? Is that you?" you called out, your voice trembling with worry. When the shadow made a sound as if confirming, you quickly crawled towards him, your heart pounding in your chest. As you got closer, you could finally make out his features. He was drenched in sweat, and his eyes seemed glazed over, indicating that he wasn't fully conscious. His body started to writhe and moan in place, and you quickly realized that his condition was far worse than your own.
You reached out and touched his forehead, feeling the intense heat radiating from his skin. He had a fever, and it was burning through him even in this cold basement. You pulled back slightly, your eyes scanning down to his legs. The sight made your stomach churn. If you had to describe it in one word, it would be 'terrible'. His legs were completely messed up. Despite the poor visibility in the darkness, you could distinguish light from dark, and Seonghwa’s legs were an ominous, deep shade. They were swollen and purple up to his kneecaps, but 'purple' didn't quite capture it—they were almost black. "Seonghwa! Why didn’t you wake me up? Your legs are so bad!" you exclaimed in a panic.
You knew you had to help him. The condition of his legs was alarming, and you weren't sure if a person could die from such severe bone fractures, but he looked like he was on the brink. It was clear that Hongjoong must have hit the same spot over and over, pulverizing his bones into a gruesome state. Seonghwa's suffering was evident, and you couldn't let him endure it alone.
"Ugh… it hurts…” he groaned softly, feeling the intense pain radiate through his body. “I know it hurts. Wait,” you responded, your voice filled with concern. You stood up very nervously, taking great care not to open any more stitches that had barely begun to heal. And you did it! You managed to balance yourself by putting your strength into your good foot.
With determination, you wet a few cloths in the sink and leaned over to run them over his face, just like he had done for you before. The soothing touch of the wet cloths seemed to provide a small comfort in the midst of the chaos.
Suddenly, the door swung open with a loud bang, and the clatter of metal filled the room. Startled, you lost your balance and fell to the ground. Even though the impact sent sharp waves of pain through your body, you chose not to make a sound out of fear. The last thing you wanted to do was draw attention to yourself and face the devil who was now approaching.
He came right at you with an air of menace. As he suddenly turned on the lights, the harsh brightness illuminated his dangerous face. His expression was constantly grinning, as if everything was so funny, a stark contrast to the terror and pain you were experiencing. The sinister amusement in his eyes made your blood run cold.
“Where were we?” Hongjoong's voice sounded sarcastic and amused, the tone of someone who finds great entertainment in the suffering of others. Seonghwa’s eyes snapped open as soon as he heard his voice. It was like he had just woken up from a nightmare, except the nightmare was about to begin now, in real life, with no escape. “Don’t come any closer, can’t you see our condition? We’re already in a bad situation. What more do you want?” Your voice was trapped in fear, trembling and barely audible. You were wondering if he could hear you because your voice was so quiet, almost a whisper.
He took slow, deliberate steps in front of you, his eyes never leaving your trembling form. As he approached, towering over you, you felt the weight of his gaze. You were pinned to the ground, feeling utterly tiny and insignificant under his scrutiny. The sight of you, bloody and scared, with helplessness written all over your face, made his heart race with a mix of excitement and something darker. Seeing you in such a vulnerable state stirred something deep inside him, an insatiable desire that making him want more.
Seonghwa, with a sudden burst of energy, lunged forward, using all his strength to drag himself to Hongjoong’s feet. His movements were frantic, and it was clear that he still wasn't in his right mind. Hongjoong, on the other hand, was brimming with excitement. Hongjoong knew exactly what Seonghwa was going to do.
Hwa, what are you doin-” You were cut off when Seonghwa threw himself at Hongjoong’s feet, desperation evident in every movement. “I-I beg you, f-forgive me. I didn’t do it on purpose- agh! I didn’t do it on purpose. P-please love me again. I’ll do a-anything!” The basement was eerily silent except for Seonghwa’s pitiful pleading. Hongjoong watched him without uttering a single word, his expression unreadable. “Why would I forgive you? Who would love naughty little bunnies like you? After all, you betrayed me.” Seonghwa started to cry harder at Hongjoong’s cold, cutting words. You were on the verge of tears too, the discomfort and tension of the situation weighing heavily on you. You wanted to tell him to shut up and go back to his old place, but you were too scared to intervene.
“No, I’m not! I’m not naughty! I didn’t mean to act like that!” Seonghwa’s voice was choked with emotion, his tears flowing freely. Hongjoong watched his masterpiece with a sense of twisted satisfaction. His first love, with his legs broken, threw himself at his feet and begged for forgiveness while his new toy, with her burst stitches, watched what was happening in fear and helplessness. The wiev was of unparalleled beauty. If he hadn’t left his phone upstairs, he would have definitely taken a photo to preserve this view forever. Hongjoong felt a surge of power and control, basking in the pain and fear that radiated from both of you. The basement, usually a place of darkness and dread, became a stage for his cruel artistry, a tableau of suffering and submission.
“But you acted like that.” He finished his sentence with a smile by kicking Seonghwa in the chest. When Seonghwa’s breath hitched and he fell back, you backed away from Hongjoong in panic. Neither of you could muster the courage to speak. Only the sound of his painful, ragged breathing filled the room. Hongjoong looked down at Seonghwa’s ankles. They were broken, but it wasn’t anything that wouldn’t heal in a few weeks. Despite his injuries, it was almost endearing how Seonghwa continued to beg for forgiveness in such a weakened state. When Hongjoong shifted his gaze to you, he noticed that your leg was bleeding again. If he went any further, it would be hard for both of you to heal, so he decided it was enough for now. “Since I’m such an understanding person, I’ll end your punishment here. But you’ll be staying here for the next few days.” You were relieved that he wouldn’t hurt you any further. But you both needed proper first aid right now. “We can’t stay like this. H-Hwa is in a bad condition. Can’t you help him?” Your voice trembled as Seonghwa flinched when he heard his name as he writhed on the ground. The fact that you were thinking of him warmed his aching heart a little. Hongjoong looked at Seonghwa again and smiled that annoying smile of his. “You should have thought of that before you ran away together.”
You thought he would at least help Seonghwa. After all, Seonghwa had asked for forgiveness from him and had been with Hongjoong for a long time. But he hadn’t. He would leave him like this, he would leave you like this. You shouted and cursed after him as he left the basement; you didn’t know where you found this confidence but you were very angry with him. Interestingly enough, he didn’t turn around and do anything to you after you insulted him. He just locked the door and went upstairs.
︶꒦︶꒷︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶꒷꒦‧ ₊˚・
As it was 5 am, the exhaustion of the whole day had settled on him like a heavy blanket. All he wanted was to take another shower to wash away the day's fatigue and then fall into a deep, dreamless sleep. Normally, he couldn’t sleep without Seonghwa by his side, but tonight he was so tired that he knew he had to sleep, no matter what. He didn’t even have the energy to dry his hair after stepping out of the shower with wet hair clinging to his face and neck. Instead, he just threw himself on the bed with a towel wrapped loosely around his waist and his hair still dripping wet. He was probably going to get sick from it, but he didn’t care right now. All he could think about was closing his eyes and escaping into the oblivion of sleep.
He couldn’t sleep. Despite his best efforts to find a comfortable position, he tossed and turned in bed for what seemed like hours. The chill in the air only made things worse, seeping through only the damp towel tied around his waist and about to be opened and causing him to shiver. The cold weather, combined with the lingering dampness of his towel, was a miserable combination that left him feeling even more cold. He had to wrap himself in something. Something warm. Something warm to take away the cold in his heart and body...
He got up with a stumbling motion, slowly put on some clothes, and started walking down the stairs. The sky was gradually lightening at dawn, casting a soft glow over everything, and the fresh morning air was filling the house through the open windows. He quietly opened the basement door, careful not to make any noise. He could see who was where with the light of the new sunlight seeping through the window. You were both sleeping where he had left you last, Seonghwa lying on the floor and you sitting with your backs against the wall. Sleeping would be the wrong word to describe your state. You were more like unconscious.
Hongjoong picked up his favorite toy, trying not to wake or hurting his toy. Although he was short compared to most men, he had a strength that was unexpected from his appearance; he was very strong, so he was able to easily lift his favorite. He returned to the basement door, casting one final glance at his other toy. Without locking it, he quietly closed the door and ascended the stairs. As he gently laid his toy on the bed, he heard a groan of pain.
“Shh, go back to sleep, my prince. I’m here.” Seonghwa’s eyes widened as he locked eyes with Hongjoong, feeling a rush of emotions. He loved him for that. No matter how much Hongjoong hurt him, he would always take care of Seonghwa and show him love. Hongjoong couldn’t stay mad at him for long. Even though he was still running away, he was still in Hongjoong’s bed right now. “I’ll wrap your legs, wait here,” Hongjoong said softly. When he returned with the first aid kit and went to Seonghwa’s side, he saw him looking at him with admiration and a disturbing level of affection. “What?” Hongjoong asked as he unwrapped the new bandage pack in his hands, trying to ignore the intensity in Seonghwa's eyes.
“I love you,” Seonghwa whispered. He loved him very much. Or maybe he thought he did; sometimes, he didn’t know. The lines were blurred. Hongjoong broke him so well, yet he couldn't help but feel an overwhelming sense of attachment. It was a complicated, twisted love, but it was all they had. Hongjoong broke him so well.
“It'll be over soon, don't worry. Just keep your legs straight.”
Seonghwa didn’t take offense that Hongjoong didn’t tell him he loved him back. He knew Hongjoong loved him too.
“Ugh Joongie, it hurts so much." Seonghwa squirmed in discomfort as he felt the tight bandage wrapped securely around his legs, which were throbbing with sharp pain. “Shh shh, I know. Be a good little bunny for me, and don't squirm.” Hongjoong's soothing yet firm voice made Seonghwa suddenly go still. He didn't want to disappoint him even more with his actions. "That's a good boy. I'll give you painkillers as a reward." Hongjoong's words were filled with a mixture of comfort and authority. Seonghwa's eyes met Hongjoong's, filled with a silent plea for relief, and he nodded weakly.
After Hongjoong finished wrapping Seonghwa’s legs tightly to ensure they were properly supported, he gave him a strong painkiller and laid down on the bed next to Seonghwa. He was enveloped in the warmth he so desperately needed, and the soothing heat radiating from Seonghwa’s weakened body served as a balm for Hongjoong’s cold heart and chilled body.
He closed his eyes, thinking that he could finally get some much-needed sleep by holding him tightly in his arms without hurting him too much. The warmth and comfort he felt were almost enough to lull him into a peaceful slumber. Just as he was about to drift off to sleep, he suddenly heard the annoying ringing of his phone. The sound was jarring in the quiet room, and he opened his eyes again, startled by the sudden noise, he noticed Seonghwa jump slightly in his arms. He gently reassured Seonghwa, whispering softly that nothing was wrong and that he should continue sleeping. With a sigh, he carefully reached for his phone to see who was calling, hoping it wasn't something urgent that would further disrupt their rest.
Jeong Yunho.
It was strange that he was calling at this hour, and if he was calling after the mission, it usually meant there was a problem with the mission. He sighed in annoyance and picked up the phone.
“What’s wrong?”
“Hyung, you need to come here immediately.”
The voice on the other end of the phone was anxious. It was hard to see Yunho anxious; he was always so sure of what he was doing and relaxed. Something was definitely wrong.
Hongjoong cursed at him when the phone abruptly hung up on him. Yunho always liked to make people curious and leave them hanging. As Hongjoong got out of bed and started getting dressed, he caught sight of Seonghwa’s anxious eyes. “Is someone in trouble again or are the police going to raid our house?” He could speak more comfortably now that the pain had subsided a little. “I don't know, he didn't say. Also, don’t bother your beautiful brain with such things. I’ll be back in a few hours. Make sure our princess doesn’t escape from the basement in the meantime. Otherwise, I won’t forgive you this time, Park Seonghwa. So, keep an eye on her and don't let your guard down again.”
It was absolutely impossible for someone upstairs with broken legs to check if someone in the basement had escaped, so Hongjoong carefully picked him up again before leaving the house and took him down to the basement. Although Seonghwa felt a deep sadness to leave the comfort of his bed and the warmth of Hongjoong’s arms, he was happy and relieved that he would now be able to keep an eye on you. Leaving the two of you in the brightly lit basement once more, Hongjoong made a mental note to get Seonghwa a pair of crutches on his way home. He then grabbed the bag containing his weapons and equipment, ensuring everything he needed was inside, and headed back to his car with a sense of urgency.
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I wanna feedback juseyo♡ I wanna feedback please♡ I wanna feedback çebal♡
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genderless-naper · 3 months ago
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hard worker
trafalgar law x gf!reader
sfw! lil drabble, wc: 900
↳ requested! lowercase intended!
being just as dedicated as your boyfriend is with work often times leaves you forgetting to take care of yourself, so law tends to keep an eye out to help you when you need it
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law would be the first to understand how addicting it can be to be fully submerged in your work. he saw a reflection of himself when he saw you on the other end of the room working your way through books and to-do lists. additionally, he also knew how annoying it was to be interrupted during moments when you’re fully locked in on work. he knew all these feelings too well.
yet he can never help himself from trying to get you to stop.
seeing your messy hair and tired eyes pulls on his heart strings. he admired your dedication, but a small part of him hated it because he had to see you suffer from it. arguably the worst part would be how you never admitted it.
law stood from his desk to approach yours. the sound of the heel of his boot would echo with every board he stepped on. you decide to look up once you hear the heel-thumps stop in front of your desk. you flashed a tired smile at your lover then resumed your attention back to your work.
law cleared his throat to alert you that he wanted the same attention which was being occupied by papers. you look up and respond with a simple hum waiting for what he has to say. now he was put on the spot, but he didn’t quite understand how to form the words that could express his thoughts.
he quickly blurted out without much thought, “just stop it.”
you tilt your head slightly in confusion, “did i do something wrong law? i was just doing my w-“
law slowly shook his head while looking unsure of what to say next, “nothing is wrong. i think you should just stop with your work for tonight. you know.. take a break.”
you couldn’t help but to laugh. you figured law telling you this was some sort of comedic relief. it was ironic hearing such a thing from someone whose first horrible habit was his work ethics, and second would be his caffeine consumption because of his work ethics.
regardless, you waved him off and continued your work, “i’ll go whenever i finish this final task. i’ll be quick.”
law crossed his arms unsatisfied with your response, “just finish it tomorrow y/n-ya”
you shook your head immediately. it was noticeable that your attention was slipping back to your work. he observed you as you yawned, rubbed your eyes, heard your stomach growl, and saw you shivering.
he knew you were to busy to take care of yourself, so he would have to do it for you.
he went to your shared quarters to get you your favorite sweatshirt. then he made his way to the kitchen to fix you something light before bed. he made his way back to the shared research space.
he pulled your chair away from the desk which earned a suspicious glare from you. he tried to soften his tone knowing it was the best way to get you to listen to what he has to say, “you need to wear this. you’re freezing baby.”
law helps you wear your sweatshirt even though you protest heavily against it. you repeatedly stated how you just want to finish your last task, and how he was getting in the way. he was not giving in to your demands anytime soon.
he hands you a plate of food and a glass of milk, “you need to eat something as well.”
you look at the contents of the plate. you slightly laughed as you examine the pb&j sandwich with a few cookies on the plate, “seriously law?” you couldn’t tell if he was making a joke out of this or not.
his stance said otherwise. his tried his best to keep his demeanor, but he couldn’t help to feel quite embarrassed because of your sudden laughs. he mumbled as he kept his gaze focused on the ground, “it was either that or cereal y/n..”
a slight red crept up his face. you knew the poor man in front of you just wanted you to be taken care of.
after much consideration you decide to eat the “meal” presented to you. you watched as his whole demeanor changed to satisfied. if you looked any closer you could see a faint smile ghosting his lips. as you make your way through the food you see law starting the clear your desk in an orderly fashion. he made sure to put all your materials on one side of the desk in an organized respectful way, “it’ll all be ready for you tomorrow, so theres no need to continue your work.”
you hummed as you continued eating. after finishing and resting the plate you look back to the tattooed man, “if i’m taking a break then so are you.”
law immediately shook his head, “i have a lot of work to finish y/n.”
you rolled your eyes dramatically, “you’re such a hypocrite!” you made your way to his desk to give it the same organizational treatment as he gave your things. it was only fair he followed the rules he was imposing on you.
you ignored the responses from the man as you grab his arm to pull him out the office. being that you two barely take care of yourselves while you work meant having to look out for each other. you both couldn’t be more thankful for each other since you both fulfilled each others needs so well.
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monicaeidolith · 5 months ago
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it's been 8 years and she's still down bad for her neighbor (who wouldn't)
and so there she is: Step 3 Athena! 🌙✨
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Step 1 & Step 2 here
(Infos about Athena in every steps except 4 below if you're interested)
(watch out it's long.)
Step 1 -
At 10, Athena is a very curious girl, somewhat nosey and a bit clumsy (main reason why she often has bandages). She likes puzzles, creepy stuff and drawing (but nothing that serious about that hobby yet). While she isn't very shy, she's still uneasy around people she doesn't know and moving to a new town isn't helping. She has trouble accepting changes, and this whole situation is a way too big change.
Athena is very close to her mom during step 1. Unfortunately for her, she doesn't really look like her that much and she's kind of bothered by that, especially because the person she obviously looks like, her "dad", isn't there. Not having a dad isn't really a huge problem for her, but Athena fears a little bit people's opinion on that subject: "Is it weird that I don't have a dad...?".
She's feeling sad and scared about moving out, as she has to get used to a completely different world (in her eyes). "At least I have my mom", she thinks. But if moving in Golden Grove was scary at first, meeting Qiu and Tamarack was a huge help for Athena to feel included.
She thinks Qiu, aka "Autumn", is funny but also a huge show-off, haha. She LOVES to tease Qiu. But Athena's also genuinely worried about Qiu sometimes, because that kid is a huge people-pleaser.
When it comes to Tamarack, man... Athena totally puts this girl on a pedestal. She thinks Tamarack is amazing and pretty. And should Tamarack say anything positive about Athena, you can be certain the latter will go crazy internally. At 10, Athena doesn't realize she actually has a huge crush on Tamarack yet, though.
Step 2 -
At 14, Athena became a sort of troublemaker, she barely cares about rules. She's not mean but she grew to be more blunt and direct than she was as a 10-year-old, this and her current appearance make her seem unapproachable. However she kept her soft side, a side that she ironically doesn't even keep that much hidden but that you still have to deserve. If at 10 she would often have bandages because of her clumsiness, at 14, it's mostly because she's reckless. Some things that remained are her love for puzzles, creepy stuff and drawing, in fact, she started to get interested in visual arts.
In fact, the tough side of her personality grew when her first group friends with Qiu and Tamarack slowly fell apart. She couldn't do anything to prevent that from happening, so she felt like she had to toughen up. But to be honest, she's becoming tired of being the sole link between them, she's barely trying to now. Maybe Qiu and Tamarack won't become friends again. She has to accept it... but maybe Athena still has troubles accepting changes, no matter how old she is, after all.
Despite all that, Athena still treats both of them nicely. She still teases Qiu whenever she can (watch out Athena, the teasing could backfire on you). Her worries about them are still present too, but for different reasons than in step 1. Even 4 years later, Athena still retrieve Qiu's lost papers because they would NOT do it themselves. No matter what, Autumn remains her dear friend and the feeling is mutual.
Tamarack, aka "Tam", is her best friend! ... and the girl she has a crush on, Athena realized it now. Athena doesn't know if Tam feels the same way or not, though. Athena still thinks Tamarack is the most amazing and most talented person out there, she wishes Tam could see it too. She's highly worried about Tamarack potentially leaving Golden Grove at any moment but she tries to hide it from Tamarack. "Tam probably has enough of people walking on eggshells with her", she thinks. Athena dislikes Tamarack's parents for not only never being there for their daughter but also for making her situation so uncertain, only for their own interests (in her eyes).
Another feeling started to grow: jealousy. Athena will feel jealous of anyone who seems a bit too close to Tamarack. Does she think she's no match for Tamarack? Yes. Does that stop her from being jealous? No. She knows she has no right to be, Tamarack is a wonderful girl, it's impossible not to like her, but she can't help it.
Athena grew to be even more bothered by her lack of resemblance with her mother. Some times before turning 14, she started to dye her hair cranberry, just like her mom's hair color (let's say Opal didn't really like to see that her daughter started dyeing her hair at her young age, reaction Athena didn't appreciate, all she wanted was to look like her mom, what's the problem?). Ironically, while Athena wishes so hard to look like her mom, her relationship with her became somewhat strained. As if resembling a completely unknown guy wasn't enough. Living his best life nowhere to be found, uh? Resentment is the word here. Never towards her mom, even if their relationship is not that good at this point, but towards this guy who gave her his physical traits she never wanted and started to despise.
At least she became used to live in Golden Grove.
Step 3 -
At 18, Athena is not the rough troublemaker that she was at 14 anymore. Now she's more like a silly prankster, seemingly always up to something more stupid than before, although she remains reckless and blunt (but less on purpose and more out of habit). Of course, her interest in visual arts remained intact. Her liking for creepy stuff turned into a huge love for horror and its aesthetic.
Her relationship with her mom is getting better than it was 4 years ago. Athena grew out of the resentment she had for her "dad" during step 2 and learned to accept she may not look that much like her mom, but that it doesn't cancel the fact she's Opal's daughter no matter how she looks. Plus "some bits of [Opal] did end up in [her]" after all, right?
Athena's relationship with Autumn is what you could describe as "siblings by hearts", Athena does consider them as the sibling she never had.
Athena and Tamarack are still officially "besties for life", but little do they know that they both ended up falling in love with each other, plain and simple.
Her jealousy and resentment did tone down, but when she thinks back to her 14-year-old self, she feels bad, so bad. For being jealous of Tamarack's friends, for being resentful of a random donor and basically making many things about herself. "Man, I was such a prick. And for what?".
If when she was 14, Athena felt like she was no match for Tamarack because she put Tam on a pedestal, at 18, she now thinks she's simply not good enough as a person for Tamarack. She kind of "accepted" that if Tamarack only wants to be friends, then it's fine, she cannot force Tam to love her back. It's silly to think someone like her could be extra-special in Tam's heart anyway (girl if you knew.), it's nice enough to be her best friend.
Between step 2 and 3, Athena managed to put a label on herself: she's lesbian.
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deanssluvr · 5 months ago
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MAKE ME FAITHFUL
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pairing: joost klein x fem!reader
summary: joost always makes valentines so special for you every year, but this time he was stressed and busy. so now it’s your turn to make his day just a bit better.
word count: 2.5k
warnings: MDNI. SMUT. RPF. handjob. oral (m! receiving). needy/sub!joost. slightly proofread.
a/n: back to writing smut because it's a minute lol. seen a few people write about this and have been dying to do it myself. hope you guys enjoy it. <3
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Although Valentine’s Day was one of your favorite holidays, it felt less special this time than others. Joost, your boyfriend of four years, has always tried to make the day memorable. From his attempts at home-cooked dinners to taking you to local spots he knows you’d enjoy, he has always made this day special for you. But now you were in your kitchen, alone, ordering yourself dinner. 
You weren’t mad about him missing today. Your boyfriend’s job has its ups and downs, like being busy on Valentines. He’d been gone since you woke up. It was quite early when you opened your eyes and the sun was peering in through the window, beckoning for you to start your morning. You moved from under your covers and felt the cold air blow over your skin. Shivering slightly, you pick up your phone looking at the notifications.
i’m really sorry liefje (love) I couldn’t be here today. got a lot of stuff to do before the tour. I left something in the living room for you. hope you like it. 
You smiled warmly at the message. You got out of bed, the rug shielding your feet from the cold floor. You walked over to your closet slipped into some slippers and threw on one of Joost’s jackets. Stepping out into the living room, a familiar smell was in the air and it put a smile on your face. Looking on the coffee table you saw a bag of breakfast from your favorite restaurant, an assortment of your favorite flowers neatly sitting in a beautiful vase, and a small, pink stuffed bear leaning against it. You walked over to it, grazing your fingers over the flowers. They were your favorite and he only got them for you on special occasions, like today. Picking one up, you noticed there was a small note attached to it. You opened the small paper. On it read an apology from your boyfriend. Although he couldn’t be here, he still wanted your day to be special.
And now it was roughly nine o’clock at night and still no sign of him. You were starting to think you’d fall asleep before you saw him. After successfully ordering your food, you walked into the living room and sat down on the couch. Your phone vibrated in your hand and you looked at it with some sort of anticipation, hoping that it was him saying that he was on his way or almost home. But the feeling left quickly as you see it was just an Instagram notification. You groaned and laid back on the couch, your head resting on the armrest. The silence of the house wasn’t helping to ease your mind but managed to make it worse. Your thoughts were starting to conflict with each other as the idea of being mad at him started to become more acquainted with the front of your mind. Choosing to break the silence, you picked up the remote that sat on the coffee table and turned on the TV. 
Soon your food had arrived and it was now ten o’clock. Though the hours were passing rather quickly, the idea of seeing Joost before you went to sleep kept your mind awake. The random romcom you had turned on was also helping. Ironically the movie took place on Valentine’s Day. It was one of your favorite movies to watch on this holiday, but this time felt sour. As embarrassing as it felt to admit, watching a fictional couple spend the day together unlike you made you feel worse. Like a small jab to your heart. But you watched the movie anyway as it was beloved to you. You had finished your food a little over halfway through the movie. You gathered all of your trash and made your way to the kitchen where you dumped it all. You leaned on the counter, phone in your hand. You opened his contact and your finger hovered over the call button. Every minute that passed made you worry more and more and his lack of communication was making it worse. But you hesitate anyway because he could still be busy, maybe his phone died, or he left it somewhere. 
Your thoughts were interrupted by the sound of your front door being unlocked. You walked around the counter and watched in anticipation as the door was pushed open. You feel the negative thoughts and worries wash away as he walks in. He walked in as if in a haze. His head was pointing to the floor and he walked with heavy footsteps. He hadn’t noticed you until he was only a few feet away from you. His eyes were quick to find yours. He smiled lovingly and you watched as his body visibly relaxed. He gently cupped your cheeks with his hands, his eyes scanning your face as if seeing you anew. You raised one of your hands to cover his, your warmth contrasting with the coolness of his fingers. He softly pulled you into a kiss. It was sweet the way his lips danced with yours. Your hands rested on his hips and your fingers played with the hem of the soft fabric. He pulled away first with a pained expression.
“I’m so so sorry schat (baby). I really wanted to be here with you today.” His hands were still settled on both sides of your face and his thumb rubbed softly against your cheek. “Please forgive me. I promise I’m gonna make it up to you.” 
You shook your head, “It’s okay. I know how busy you get.” you give him a reassuring smile. “Plus the gift you left for me this morning makes up for it.” 
He let out a breath of relief, “I’m happy you liked it.” 
He was still tense and you could tell. An idea quickly pops into your head to help him relax. Once again the distance closed between you two, but you initiated it. This time there was something different and he noticed. The way your lips hungrily latched onto his. He melted into you completely, letting you take control. Your hands slipped under his shirt, feeling the cold, bare skin beneath. The warmth of your fingers against him sent shivers down his spine. Your kisses trailed from his lips to his cheek and down his neck. He hummed in response. 
“I think it’s time that I gave you my gift.” You spoke, your voice barely above a whisper. Your warm breath against his ear sent goosebumps across his skin. The bulge in his pants became more apparent as he lightly rutted against your thigh letting you know how desperately he craved for you. Normally he could hold himself together, especially in front of you. But after the long day he’s had, he doesn’t have the strength to. His brain was too fogged and all he could make of it was how painfully hard he was. He wanted to tell you how much he wanted to feel you, hear your pretty moans in his ear. But words couldn’t form in his mouth, only pathetic whimpers would breeze past his lips. So instead you get to see him like this. Breathing heavily against your skin, quietly begging for your touch. He looked at you through dazed eyes and you could’ve melted right there. Instead, you took one of his hands in yours and walked him into the living room. 
You pressed a hand to his chest, pushing him to sit on the couch. You sunk to your knees, and he pulled his shirt off and threw it somewhere on the floor. He instinctively spreads his legs allowing you to come closer. Your hands ran over his thighs and came up to his belt buckle. He watched as your hands worked his pants and pulled them down. Once they were at his ankles, you looked over at his boxers. His cock was begging to be freed from his boxers. Your hands came to rub on his thighs again and you felt how tense he still was. 
“Baby you can relax. Let me care of you.” You cooed and he let out a hesitant breath. He was having trouble relaxing. It was because he was so pent up and you could tell. You moved your hands up his thighs and over his bulge. His breath hitched as he felt the warmth of your hand. You slowly moved it, palming him through his boxers. His cock twitched under your hand. A quiet moan escaped his lips as he leaned his head back on the couch. His hips bucked up because he needed more friction. He quickly looked at you with a slightly panicked expression. As if he was scared you stopped because he moved. And even under the dim light of the room, you swear you could see him mouth the words ‘sorry’. You placed one of your hands on his thigh, your thumb running soft circles into the skin. Silently reassuring him.
You decided you’d tortured him enough and hooked your fingers into the waistline of his boxers. He lifts his hips giving you space to pull them down. You watched as his cock sprung from the tight material. It was slightly red with precum leaking from it, leaving a small, sticky spot on his stomach where it rests. You spit on your hand before wrapping it around the base. His breath hitched. You began to move your hand at an agonizingly slow pace. Breathy moans fell from his lips. You brought your lips down to his thigh, kissing and biting the soft skin. Your kisses trailed to the skin near the base of his cock. Your cheek brushed softly against him sending a shiver down his spine. You planted kisses along the vein that led to his tip. The noises he made slowly became louder and louder the closer to you became. 
“fuck schat (baby). p-please please…” he knew what he wanted but words were failing him. His brain was clouded by pleasure, and the only clear thought he had was you. 
“Please what?” You tilted your head to the side. Your voice was soft, faux innocence laced in your tone. He hesitated before he spoke and tried to regain his thoughts so he could form a coherent sentence.
“I need you. I need to feel more of you,” he begged. His eyes met yours and were glossed over. You never get to see him like this. So needy and desperate. He looked so pretty in these moments you thought to yourself. “Please.”
You didn’t waste any more time before you took him into your mouth, taking in only his tip first. He melted at the sensation, a low groan emitting from his lips. You took in a few more inches and he was quickly losing what was left of his composure. His lip was bleeding from hard he was biting to quiet the noises he was making. It was when you started to hum that a moan slipped out. You thought your name sounded so sweet when it rolled off his tongue in moments like this. His hand was quick to find its way into your hair. He was trying to guide you the way he wanted and take control. But you weren’t having it, so you grabbed his wrist and set his hand back on the couch. Although you didn’t say anything, he still understood. It was a strain not to touch you. He needs to feel something, to ground himself. One hand was gripping the plush fabric of the couch and the other rested on his stomach.
You took in as much of him as you could and used your hand to get what you couldn’t. He watched as his cock disappeared into your mouth. He could’ve came right there at the sight. You brought your head back up just to sink down again. The noises that were coming from him were borderline pornographic. Moans mixed with your name. As you picked up the pace, tears started to form in the corners of his eyes. They fell the closer he got. He was so lost in pleasure. Everything he was thinking about earlier, whatever he was feeling was gone and long forgotten. All he could think about or feel was you and how good he felt because of you.
Quiet pleas started to pour from his mouth as he was getting closer. He couldn’t even form a coherent sentence to let you know he was close. But as if you could read his mind, you knew. You quickened your pace again and your hand was matching your speed. He wanted this. He needed this. He needed to get lost in your touch.  A string of moans mixed with your name was all that could be heard from. You took him fully into your mouth and that was enough to send him over the edge. His hips bucked up into your mouth, pushing himself further into your throat. The world felt as though it stopped spinning as he reached the edge. It struck his body like electricity, and he swore he could see stars. You felt his cock pulsing as you tried to stop yourself from gagging and you felt his cum go down your throat. You let him ride out his high before he pulled himself from your mouth. 
He sat back down on the couch, and saw him finally relax. You looked at him with a smile on your face. He gave you a tired smile in return. You stood up and placed a kiss on his forehead. Your hands found their way into his and you gently pulled him, gesturing him to stand up. He did so and you helped him pull his boxers and pants up. You guided him to your bedroom where you told him to sit.
“I’m going to run a shower for you. Okay?” He nodded tiredly. You placed a small kiss on his lips before disappearing into the bathroom to run some water. When it felt warm enough you walked back out to where he was sitting. He was still in the same spot and was fidgeting with the fabric of his jeans. You brought your hand up to his cheek and your thumb rubbed gently. He leaned into your touch. Taking his hands into yours, you lead him into the bathroom where you both stripped out of your clothes. He followed you in the bathroom where you both get undressed. He immediately stepped inside the shower, letting the warm water run over his body. You were quick to help him get clean and he just leaned into you. He was so exhausted now and you just wanted to get him to bed as quickly as possible. Once you were both finished, you both got dressed and went back into your bedroom. You were first to get into bed and he quickly followed suit. He snuggled close into you, his head resting on your chest. You brought your hand up to run your fingers through his hair.
“Ik hou van jou (i love you),” he mumbled. You can tell he was fighting to stay awake at this point.
“I love you too.” you kissed his forehead before dozing off.
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emilykaldwen · 4 months ago
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FFWAD 24 - Sins of the Father by @selfproclaimedunicorn
For my first foray into this yearly celebration with @renegadeguild, I picked the brilliant and fantastic story, Sins of the Father by @selfproclaimedunicorn. Misa has taken the fantastic AU premise 'What if Daemon Targaryen and Rhea Royce had kids?' and has run with it in the most delicious and satisfying way. The story isn't complete, but the first 'arc' has a good stopping point at a whopping 160k words, which made for the chonkiest book you could imagine.
This was the twelth book I've bound (both fic and rebinds of old favorites) and I tried several new techniques for it including rounding and backing the spine. I also stretched my legs in the formatting department and went all in with the interior. That meant ordering some special springhill paper to do these fantastic maps for the endpages. Full details behind the cut!
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Typesetting: Normally I've kept my settings pretty minimal as I got used to the ins and outs of InDesign (during this, I did purchase Affinity Publisher and might end up moving to that, but I'm finally getting the hang of ID and you can pry it from my cold hands). I really wanted to mimic some of the interior of Fire & Blood for this, so I hunted down the fonts used and took an image of the decorative banner you see on the sides to use for the chapter openers. I also wanted to include timelines and family trees in true historically inspired fantasy tradition.
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The family tree was created based off of the author's spreadsheet in Google Drawing, which I found to be the easiest thing to use when it comes to creating chaotic family trees like this (In the past I'd used lucid chart for a printable version, but google worked better here).
the timeline is honestly my favorite thing and I learned how to use tables in ID for the first time. I'm incredibly pleased with it. The formatting is based upon the line of kings in the source. The timeline covers the events of the first arc as printed in this particular story.
The chapter openers are some of my favorite! As the children are proud to be House Royce, I wanted to reflect that. The runes you see behind the Chapter number and title are the Floki font and name the character whose the POV for each chapter.
Since there's plenty of High Valyrian spoken and the author doesn't include the translations within narrative, it was the perfect moment to set up footnotes. I'll absolutely be doing this for my own story when I bind it!
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Rounding and Backing: So this was a total adventure, but I really wanted the old book feel. I made the mistake of pressing the book for too long and lost a lot of the swell in the spine to round but it worked out AND I managed to back it a little bit. Since I wasn't doing cord tapes for the spine (this was a version of the three piece bradel), I had to troubleshoot. I ended up cutting strips of the leather cord I bought from michaels and laminating those pieces together and placing them on the oxford hollow on the spine (given how thick the book is, I wanted to give it as much structural strength as possible). The 'leather' covering you see is actually the craft leather (polyester) from Dollar Tree and it's pretty awesome but definitely has difficulties staying put with glue. I followed the normal procedure and slathered both sides up and used twine to compress the bookcloth along those leather pieces. there's a little gaping in some places which I think would help if I'm able to properly apply backing paper to the polyester.
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HTV do's and don'ts: Hi! don't be me and forget to apply your teflon sheets before applying the HTV because then you fuck with the polyester but it's not too bad. The other pro-tip is to gently apply the iron to the cover so it's warm before applying the HTV so it can start to stick. I had to apply the front cover in three pieces and do the title twice. Also, it's really difficult to apply HTV to a rounded spine so I'll have to figure out how to set up the spine and cover before applying (since there's a certain amount of stretching the bookcloth over the spine). The spine might end up having to be regular adhesive vinyl for that. Also, it's stupidly hard to find metallic HTV in bronze.
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Front matter and final thoughts: The bronze dragon was a lucky find through an extensive google search, and the runes surrounding it are 'we remember with fire and blood', a combination of House Royce and House Targaryen's words. Seems fitting four Yorick, Ella, and Aemon! The copyright page is mimicked off the source's style, including the AO3 information, the creative commons and fair use information, the guild stamp, a QR code to the AO3 page, and my own press stamp! The summary is pulled from AO3 as well.
All in all, I made this book twice and I loved it and learned so much every time.
I'm so happy with this project and I'm so excited to do the next arc! Thank you so much for sharing your wonderful story, Misa!
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justporo · 1 year ago
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A Night of Staying In
After all the doom and gloom in other writing I really needed some cutesy fluff to feel myself again - and also to give Astarion and Tav a break.
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Summary: So have Tav and Astarion just enjoying a cozy night in - also Astarion gets a carrot hurled at his face.
Pairing: Astarion/GN!Tav Warnings: Mention of sex, a carrot gets thrown and then murdered Wordcount: 2,2k
Delicious smells of slowly cooking meats and vegetables, spices and a forgotten mint tea were wafting through the kitchen of your cozy little townhouse.
You were bustling around the well-equipped kitchen. The apron you were wearing was full of stains and its pockets full of cooking utensils – even a half-full spoon absent-mindedly tugged away in one of them. It was slowly leaking through the linen with something on it that looked like blood – but was simply a tomatoey sauce. Your hair was messily put up in a bun, but several strands of hair had fallen out of it and you looked only so far from a mental breakdown.
At the kitchen table Astarion was sitting with a lantern, bowing over an embroidery project. He had the very bright lantern you’d gifted him specifically for this purpose directly next to him, but he was still squinting at his work and holding it so close his nose was almost touching the fabric. He looked a lot less demented than you but still very absent-minded.
Fabrics and threads were strewn all about the wooden table. Different needles were glinting everywhere on it too. One could only hope that those would be remembered at some point – preferably before someone stuck them in their fingers.
Next to him were also laying some loose papers, a feather and an ink pot with lots of writing that was then crossed out again and also some small little doodles on the corners – one for whatever reason happened to be a goose with a knife in its beak.
You had several pots on the iron stove and something about to go in the oven as well. Critically you were moving around between all of these things, clattering with copper pot lids, jars of ingredients and spoons to try the food (always in the same pattern: grabbing a new spoon, trying something, putting the spoon in the dish bowl full of dirty water – then having to grab a new spoon). You had some potatoes boiling and in another pot you had been cooking a mixture of vegetables and beef for quite some time. You wanted to recreate a recipe of cottage pie that you had once tried many years ago in a tavern and had kept reappearing in your dreams. And now you finally had the kitchen and the tools to try and cook it yourself!
But it seemed impossible to get it right, this already being your fourth attempt this week. The vampire had already been moaning that you had basically force-fed him the meal because you had no way of eating that much pie on your own. It was not, that the finished pies hadn’t tasted well, but they just weren’t like you remembered. But you started to think that it might be your memory that was tricking you and not your cooking skills.
You went to try the pie filling again after adding some more spices and dash more red wine (directly from your goblet because you didn’t seem to remember where you put the bottle).
As soon as the spoonful hit your tongue you knew you had done it – finally.
You shrieked and immediately heard another shriek behind you in reply. You turned around to Astarion with glee and saw how the vampire was staring at you angrily and shaking his hand. It didn’t take a genius to figure out your sudden excitement had caused him to stab himself with his needle.
“Darling, can you maybe not scream like a dying goblin, I was concentrating!”, he hissed at you. Your joy evaporated at his flare of anger – so you turned around again, grabbed a left over half of carrot and threw it at Astarion – and maybe a bit more forceful than would have been necessary.
But he was still a rogue and dodged the vegetable easily. It flew against one of the cabinets and then to the ground. There it stayed until Scratch came into the kitchen, drawn there by the sudden noises. The dog sniffed at the piece of vegetable, then grabbed it and went off again.
“Oh really, are we at the ‘I throw stuff at my lover’ point of our relationship now, love?”, Astarion replied to your responsive outburst of anger with a raised eyebrow. “Am I going to have to sleep on the sofa next?”, he continued sassily.
Your hand itched to grab more produce – there were some potatoes still laying around and they made for excellent improvised throwing weapons. But you saw the smirk that played around the vampire’s lips. So you settled for a verbal rebuttal.
“Don’t be such a prick and you can keep sleeping inside”, you said and flipped him off. Then you turned around again to your cooking and grabbed – yet another – spoon and scooped up some of the filling. The vampire mumbled something under his breath about he wouldn’t have to be a prick if you didn’t make him prick himself.
“Oh, that would be so gracious of you, my dear lady, if I was still allowed in your shining presence”, Astarion then said loudly as you were busy with the pots. The tone still very sassy but you heard the playfulness in it now and knew he was now only teasing.
You went over to him, with one hand under the spoon full of hot goodness that immediately started dripping and burning your hand. You winced but kept going.
“Here, try this – I think I got it now”, you said as you stood in front of Astarion who had put down his needlework for the time being. He threw you a pained look: “Love, if you keep feeding me this I think I might actually start to get a pot belly.”
You snorted at him and eyed what you could see of his upper body. “Pretty sure, you will never have to worry about this kind of thing. Now. Try. It”, you answered and insistingly came closer with the spoon.
Astarion sighed, gave you another suffering look and then let himself be fed. His doubtful expression quickly changed to what you interpreted as pleasantly surprised.
“Alright, I take everything back, that was well worth the scream of enlightenment, my sweet. That tastes wonderful”, the vampire said and grinned at you.
“See, wasn’t so hard, was it”, you said and gave him a quick peck on the lips as you could see his face changing to annoyance once more at your petty remark.
You threw the spoon in the dish bowl and rubbed your hands on your apron and started to get everything ready for the final step of the recipe. Meanwhile you said to Astarion: “So, darling, could you write down the following: one and a half cups of red wine and three instead of two sprigs of thyme and just loads of black pepper.”
“Of course, my darling chef”, Astarion replied cheerfully and grabbed the feather and papers laying next to him to write it down. “Any other changes?”
“No, this will be it”, you responded and happily clapped your hands before you put your filling in a cast iron pan, mashed and seasoned the potatoes and then put them down as the topping of your pie. The final touch was some hearty cheese sprinkled on top. Then you put it all in the oven.
In the meantime, you heard the feather scratching over the paper.
“What are you doing, Astarion?”, you asked as you took off the oven mitts from pushing the pan in to cook.
“Just putting the recipe in clean writing for you, my heart”, the vampire replied as he kept looking through older versions and notes on the papers. Brows furrowed as he was concentrating on it.
“That’s sweet, love, thank you”, you said to him but he didn’t reply and probably hadn’t even noticed. Of course – if you said something actually nice you fell on deaf ears.
So you decided to thank him with another gesture. You grabbed another goblet to pour your vampire a cup of wine but as you looked around to find the opened bottle you saw that it had been next to Astarion with an already filled cup all along.
You gave up and sat down across the table with your own cup of wine as Astarion finished up writing. You put one leg up on the bench and hugged it to your chest, head on top of the knee and watched the pale elf.
“Here you go, my sweet”, the vampire exclaimed cheerfully after a few more moments and handed you the finished recipe that was now written cleanly in his neat and beautiful handwriting. ‘Tav’s specialty cottage pie’ stood atop the page and next to it was a little doodle of some steaming hot pie.
You smiled broadly at Astarion: “Thank you, darling.” Then you shortly leaned on the table, almost climbing over it to give him a kiss while carefully trying to avoid the needles.
“Do you sometimes wonder how we ended up like this?”, you softly asked him after you had read through the finished recipe.
“Like what?”
“Well, like this – all domestic. I’m cooking, you’re embroidering, we’re bickering like an old married couple, drinking wine and just enjoying a cozy night in instead of wreaking havoc somewhere out there”, you said and waved vaguely in the direction of the city beyond the walls of your home. Then you took another sip of wine.
“Let’s be honest with ourselves, we’ve been bickering like that from the moment we met”, Astarion answered and looked at you sternly. You shrugged in agreement.
“As for the rest – well, are you enjoying the way we spend our nights like this sometimes? Because if you’re bored-“
“No no, I’m enjoying this an awful lot. It’s just – this is somehow the most unlike turn of events don’t you think? Like, I sometimes can’t believe we actually ended up in the version where we’ll live happily ever after”, you said and cradled your face in your hand not currently holding a cup of wine.
At your words a warm and adoring smile crept onto Astarion’s face.
“Are you though?”, you asked then.
“Hm?”
“Are you enjoying these kinds of nights?”, you asked Astarion again and lifted your head up to look straight at him.
The vampire looked at you, smile still playing around his lips: “Well, my love, after two hundred years full of godsdamned shit I am enjoying this sort of mundanity quite a lot. And I enjoy it even more because I get to spend it with you. I might even enjoy doing the dishes with you later on – unless you don’t splash me like last time.”
You smiled at him too now, broadly – feeling incredibly lucky that you had indeed taken all the right turns that had led you here, to this: sitting at this kitchen table with the love of your life, talking about doing the dishes.
“But if we ever get bored, my sweet, I have quite a lot of ideas on how to spice things up”, Astarion continued afterwards. The smile morphed into a lewd smirk and his red eyes sparkled mischievously: “For example, I could dramatically throw everything on this table to the ground, rip all your clothes off and have my way with you on this table until you forget your own name.”
His voice had suddenly become deep and smooth like dark molten chocolate. You bit your bottom lip as the mental image of his words set in and you just stared into his eyes point blank. Astarion still looked at you, not breaking eye contact, and his teasing smirk only growing.
“Nah”, you made after some more moments, “not tonight. My cottage pie would burn.” Your tone was matter-of-fact and you drank some more of your wine while still looking into the vampire’s eyes.
Then you both broke down laughing. So much so that you had to wipe tears from your eyes by the end and Astarion had his face buried in one of his hands while silent fits of laughter still shook through him.
“Alright”, he said and bit his lip, one of his fangs showing adorably as if he was a cat, “I’ll write it down for another date night then.” You broke out laughing again.
Until you could actually smell your food burning. With an “oh shit” you jumped up and pulled the pan out of the oven – you had saved it just in time.
You got out some plates and forks, and put some generous servings onto them. As you turned around your gaze fell onto the table full of Astarion’s embroidery supplies. Astarion saw your look, then waved it off, dismissing it.
He grabbed one of the filled plates from you and grabbed your then free hand to lead you to the living room. Scratch was there laying on his designated blanket, chewing on his favourite ball. Some telltale orange spots telling the tale of the fallen carrot.
You settled down on your sofa with your food – you swinging your legs over Astarion’s and getting cozy.
And this is where you stayed: eating until you felt like your belly might burst, joking until you were crying again, talking until you got so tired you almost drifted off into dreaming right then and there. And when you had went to bed: holding each other until you woke up in the other’s arms again.
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desideriumwriter · 6 months ago
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hi how are you!! i was wondering if you could write a fred x ravenclaw!reader (fem) where they’ve been beat friends since the beginning and they’re already in a relationship but it’s just fred and the reader are reminiscing about life and stuff and it’s just pure fluff? if not that’s ok :))
I’m doing alright! I’ve got a few trips planned for the next few weeks so I’m trying to finish as much stuff as I can. Anyways, ty for the request! This was a cute one to write, who doesn’t love some causal fluff with fred???
I Can See Me in Your Eyes
wc: 1,728 | navi | f.w. masterlist
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The summer visits to the Burrow were always comforting. It was a warm and windy evening. Fred had his head in your lap as your back was laid against the broom shed in the back garden. You were raking your hands through his hair.
“Your hairs’ gotten so long.” You thought out loud, brushing away the strands that had been blown in front of his face.
“My mum wants me to cut it soon. She’s never been a fan of long hair.” Fred said as he reached up to tuck a piece of hair behind your ear, copying your actions.
“Are you going to?” You asked, mindlessly playing with his hair.
“I suppose I should, it’ll give mum some temporary relief.”
“Temporary?”
“Well, I don’t know how she’ll feel about me and George opening up our own joke shop.” He began to fiddle his thumbs. “Especially with the money Harry won and gave to us.”
Fred and George had been saving up for over a year now. They planned on opening their own store, selling their homemade fireworks and trick candies. They had already made a good amount selling their products over the summer.
But when Harry gave them the money he won from the tournament, it put them ten times closer to their goal. You remember their look on faces once they entered your booth on the express.
The twins both dropped down into the seat across from you, eyebrows slightly knit together and mouths ajar. George was holding a bag in his hands, Fred was staring it down, you heard whatever was inside it clink when he sat down.
“What’s in there?” You sat up straight, a bit confused and concerned due to their faces.
“A thousand galleons.” Fred said, he sounded like he didn’t even believe it.
George still had an iron grip on the money bag, clutching down on it as if it would run away if he let go.
“She’s never been a hundred percent supportive of what me and him do.” He frowned, you removed one of your hands from his hair and held Fred’s hand.
“I think she’ll love it when she sees how successful you two will be.” You reassured him, Molly was always so keen on wanting them to get jobs in the Ministry.
“Bigger than Zonkos.” He let out a breathy laugh, now playing with your fingers.
“Better than Zonkos.” You added.
“Always outsmarting me. It’s summer, you know? I thought you only did that during classes.”
“I don’t outsmart you.” You laughed in disbelief, giving him a playful shove.
“You always know what to do though. You’re always correcting my mistakes, like in Divination in our third year.”
Fred did have a tendency to get things wrong, usually because he was too busy looking at you instead of paying attention to instructions.
“I don’t understand. How’d you get that for yours?” Fred’s eyes darted between your paper to his, comparing your answers.
“Your chart is upside down.” You gave him a pitiful smile as you slid his paper the correct way. The blush creeping in on his face was painfully obvious.
You let him cheat off you for the rest of the year.
He could never remember the dates that went along with the zodiac signs in your fourth-year astrology class you had together.
“No, look,” You said as you pointed to your textbook, “Aries is March 21st to April 19th, that makes you an Aries.”
“Oh, I think I've got it now.” He nodded, “So that makes you a…” It took him a few tries to get your sign right without looking at his textbook.
“Well, it was a tough class, and it was third year. I made mistakes too.” Fred hummed in response, moving his hand up to play with the hem of your shirt.
“This is a pretty color on you. It’s nice to see what you look like in a color other than blue.” He rubbed two fingers between the thin fabric.
“You say everything is pretty on me.” You murmured.
“Cause it is!”
“You’re just saying that because I’m your girlfriend.”
“Exactly,” He reached his hand up, tapping your nose, “what’s so bad about that?”
“Nothing.” You shrugged, smiling at him and admiring how the sun was casting a golden glow on his freckled skin, you stared at his lips.
He noticed.
“Want a kiss?” He gave a knowing smile, causing you to grin, a sudden shyness creeping up on you.
It was silly how he could still make you feel as giddy and flustered as you were when he took you as his date to the Yule Ball.
“Wow, you look…stunning. I’m speechless.”
“Thank you. You do too.” You said shyly, looking down.
“I’m serious, you look bloody gorgeous.” He ran a hand down your arm, you were grinning so hard your face was already starting to hurt.
The compliments didn’t end there, he gave you as many as he could throughout the night.
“You’re staring awfully hard.” You teasingly pointed out, Fred already knew he was, he just didn’t care. You were breathtaking.
“I’m not staring, I'm admiring, sweetheart.” This earned a flustered giggle out of you, not knowing how to react to the pet name.
Fred lifted his head up slightly, making it easier for his lips to meet yours, embracing in an awkwardly positioned but sweet kiss.
You pulled back and tilted your head to get a better look at his face. His eyes were closed and squinty due to the glare of the sun. But he was smiling, opening his eyes as much as he could to look at you.
“The sun in your hair makes you look like an angel.” He admired, you just scoffed and shook your head.
“I’m serious! It makes it look like you’ve got this halo around you.”
Fred had always been creative with his compliments, even if he had to explain them.
“Your smile is like…fireworks.” Fred said, words slightly slurred, he had snuck maybe one too many glasses of his mum's elderflower wine.
“What?” You giggled out, removing your glass from your lips.
“Your smile, it's bright and big and warm, like how fireworks are…does that make sense?”
“Yeah…wait no, wait no I get it, no..I think it does?”
“You’re a sap.” You happily sighed, leaning back against the shed.
“You’re too serious.” He sat up from his spot, now both face to face and still gleaming at you.
“I’ll leave all the bad joke making and pranks to you.” You teased as you played with the collar of his button up.
“My jokes aren’t bad!” He gaped, looking at you in mock hurt.
“Maybe they aren’t all bad, maybe poorly timed.” You hummed, cupping his face with one hand, loving how pretty he looked with the setting sun shining through his hair.
Still, you weren’t wrong about what you said. Freds jokes were always quite funny, just some were said at the wrong time.
“That was my first kiss.” You blurted out after you pulled away from each other, lips still parted.
“I could tell.” Fred teased, he meant it jokingly, but began to panic once he saw your face falter a bit with sadness.
“I’m kidding! I’m kidding!” He unraveled, “I’m sorry! That was an awful joke!” bringing his hands up to cup your face apologetically.
“So judgy.” He shook his head slightly, a playful glint in his eyes.
“Too judgy?”
“Barely, I’ve been scorned all my life, I think I can handle the heat.” He scoffed; he was right. He was a troublemaker ever since he could crawl. George and him being partners in crime since birth, their mum constantly tried to set them straight.
After departing the train and from the twins, you watched as they both gave each other looks, making small comments to each other.
“The school works quickly with their letters.” George retorted just before they began to walk up to their mum. Who was standing impatiently, hands on her hips and a furious scowl on her face.
“Dungbombs set off in the common room? Fireworks on the train?” She shouted as she shifted her eyes between the two boys. “Are you two dense? Were the amount of howlers sent not shameful enough?”
You’d lost count over how many howlers she sent within the single school year. By the time the fifth one arrived during lunch one day, they didn’t bother to snatch it and leave the hall. They just sat and ate as the letter reprimanded them.
“You know,” Fred said through bites of turkey, “even in writing she can’t tell which one of us is which.” He shook his head, amused. It earned a few good laughs and chuckles from the students around him, from then on, Molly's howlers sent to them just became free entertainment, to them and everyone around them.
“But I may need a present for that little comment you made about my badly timed jokes.” He drew out his lips into a dramatic pout, tapping a finger onto them.
If this was anyone else, you would’ve cringed. However, this was your boyfriend, and you were allowed to act cheesy with him. Instead, you just let out a breathy laugh and rolled your eyes before pulling him into a kiss.
This one was a bit more passionate, a bit messier, a bit more breathtaking.
As soon as you pulled back for some air, a small pebble came flying out of nowhere, hitting Fred in the side of the head. He groaned out and held a hand over where it hit, grimacing in pain. Before you could ask if he was okay, there was shouting coming from the same direction from the pebble that hit him.
You both turned towards the noise, it led back to George, who was standing near the entrance to the garden.
“Oi! Let the poor girl breathe and come help with dinner!” He shouted at Fred.
You accidentally let a laugh slip; Fred looked at you. You slapped a hand over your mouth, still giggling.
“I'm gonna kill him.“ Fred huffed and tried to keep back his smile.
“You're not gonna kill him.“ You let out a breathy chuckle, rolling your eyes.
“Yeah? Watch me.” He grinned and gave you a peck on the cheek before he shot up, beginning to sprint at George.
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thank you for reading! tell me what you thought! <3
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ctrlhope · 6 months ago
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I need a Spider Jimin in my life. I have a fear of them and had a giant one in my room, I couldn't kill it or move it, so I just stared at it, hyperventilating and crying. Couldn't look away because if I did, where would it have gone! In the end, my roommate got it after I called for them.
I need Jimin to tell them to leave my space alone or for me not to see them 😔
NOOOOO!!! I used to be so scared of spiders too <//3 like once there was a spider in my room and i stg i looked like i was working in a meth lab with the gear i put on to grab it and take it outside AJHBJSB like had a hoodie tied tight around my head, my old lab safety goggles on, gloves, and a face mask armed with cup and paper in hand. I don't know what i thought it was gonna do to me bro 😭😭 now they don't scare me (i'm now the designated spider-taker-outsider lol) but it must've not been fun at all for you :(((( i'm glad your roomate was there to help you out!! Little spider jimin blurb under the cut to help you cope with the trauma 😔😔
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— Dangerous Predator
wc: 1.7k
genre: fluff, hybrid au, soft yandere
content: soft yandere!jimin, hybrid!jimin, spider!jimin, fem!reader, manipulation, kisses, jimin is a good actor, and he’s really sweet <\\3 -> the pitfalls of silk drabble
18+ -> minors / blank blogs dni
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Oh god. Oh god what is that– that thing?! 
If your eyes were a second slower, they would’ve missed it. If your reaction speed was just a feather more hesitant you would’ve never noticed the massive creeping brown arachnid skittering across your floor. Legs longer than you’ve ever seen, a massive thorax sticking high in the air making it look all the more menacing, as if it was actually threatening you. As if it had its sights set on you.
The yelp that tears through your throat makes its way out faster than you can stop it, your body jumping high as it tries to scramble on the kitchen counter– plant itself high off the ground, away from where the predator lurks. Ready to do… do whatever it was thinking of doing… yeah. 
Okay, maybe you don’t exactly know what its plans were, but they can’t be any good! Not when it was moving towards your foot like, like that! When your boyfriend is nowhere to be seen, hiding away, sulking in the basement, pretending the food you're cooking doesn’t smell as amazing as it does. 
Sure, you can handle the small spiders– the little ones that appear as no more than dark spots in the corners you can’t see. The ones that cohabitate peacefully, giving you your space and keeping theirs. Two lives nearby yet never crossing paths. But the big ones, the big ones are a struggle no matter how hard you try to adapt. Especially when they move so close to you, disrupting the peaceful environment you’ve created. 
Jimin normally handles this, is normally the expert on dealing with 8-legged creatures you’d rather not share your domain with. But right now, he’s nowhere to be found. A disagreement only a few hours ago putting a halt on all communication with him. Rather feeling the urge to  stew in your own feelings.
But now, right this very second, you could not give less of a shit about the petty argument. Can’t even remember the cause of it in the first place. The only thing you do know is the rush of adrenaline through your veins, the way your eyes lock onto the predators on the floor. The way it takes slow steps in your direction, moving ever so slowly to where you sit pressed on the kitchen counter, lettuce in hand– the perfect defence. 
If you truly believed what Jimin told you about his ability to talk to spiders, if you thought any deeper about them then you do right now– you would think that it’s actually mocking you in the way it steps. Each slow, careful movement as it keeps its eyes locked on yours deliberate and teasing. 
Fucking prick. 
“Jimin!” Your voice calls before you can stop it, another yelp leaving your lips as you helplessly toss your leaf of lettuce at the mighty beast, completely and utterly missing. It’s almost ironic, really, that the biggest spider of all is the only one that can save you at this moment. 
No more than a second passes before you hear his legs bounding up the stairs, scurrying as fast as he can to meet you. To see what the problem may be. Faux nerves taking over his being as he hears the fear in your tone, calling for him. Wanting him above anybody else. 
He wants to laugh once the scene in the kitchen comes into frame. He really does. He almost feels bad for it, honestly, but you just look so cute as you try to struggle away, eyes not leaving the arachnid below. 
But he’s supposed to be your knight in shining armour. He can coo over how adorable his mate is later. 
“Pretty? What happened?” He asks in a hurry, concern buried deep in his tone as he quickly approaches your shaking form. Arm reaching out, gently taking one of your hands in his own. He brings it to his face, using your palm to cup his cheek as he presses a gentle kiss into the surface, gaze burning with worry over your tied expressions. 
You wish you could say you were soothed, that his presence alone brought peace to your quivering heart but it couldn't. Now that the predator was out of your vision, blocked by the very man you called for, you couldn’t be more alarmed. Your body twisting against him, head trying to poke past him to see the beast still lingering nearby. 
“Min! Min there’s a spider! You have, it’s going to eat me!” You shout, pointing over his shoulder with the other hand. How could he not see how urgent this is! This is a matter between life and death!
The gentle annoyance that finds its way into his veins is quickly washed away, discarded into his brain for later. The only mention of it being the quiet narrow of his eyes, ever so slight that no one would notice it. How could you still be concerned over a little spider when he is right in front of you, saving you? 
Did you forget that he is a predator, too? He can’t believe he’s jealous of a spider right now. 
Mmm, but he knows how humans can be. When they get all scared like this they can’t help themselves but to clamp up, frozen out in fear. One of the reasons he never wanted to be the cause of it. The misfortune that bespoke your mind every waking minute. No, he wanted to be the sunshine on a beautiful day, a field of flowers to dance in. Maybe even a handsome prince on a horse, ready to carry you away. 
So that is exactly what he’ll be. 
Soft eyes looking up into your own, half lidded and dangerous with affection, “Well that just won’t do, will it?” He pouts, lower lip jutted out in a cute expression that can’t help but take your breath away. Mince your mind in half, one side still focusing on the obvious threat while the other causes your heart to pound. Causes a fluttering to erupt from deep within. 
Your pretty boyfriend spins on his heels, placing his hands on his hips and puffing out his chest in a manner that can only be described as the cutest thing you’ve ever seen. His cheeks blown out in much the same way, forcing your brain to think about nothing else other than kissing him.
“Now listen here!” He tuts, admonishing the spider. Somehow, he even seems to make glaring cute. “You better leave my pretty mate alone! This is my territory so unless you wanna mess with me, I suggest you leave.” He huffs, yet can’t hide the playful undertone in his words, only half serious. 
You know he probably isn’t taking you seriously. Can never truly understand your fear of the same arthropod you're dating. And you know the spider probably doesn’t even understand a single thing going on– but at the same time you can’t help the battering of butterflies in your stomach at his words. That he’s going these lengths to make you feel protected and safe. 
“She doesn’t like you around here, and she’s the most important in the world to me. So, if you don’t leave right now and tell all of your friends you're not welcome around here, I'll have no choice but to do it for you.” The spider takes a hesitant step back, suddenly lowering its body closer to the floor, almost as if…
Shit. Maybe he really can talk to spiders. 
“Get out.” And with those final words, the spider quickly turns around and scurries out of the kitchen and into the yard, practically waving a white flag all the way. Your eyes widen in shock, mouth hanging open as your legs drop against the counter walls. Fanning either side of Jimin in his embrace. 
A cute smile is on his lips as he turns around– the cocky, proud kind that you normally roll your eyes at. But this time you can’t help but stare at him in shock, blush dusting your cheeks. Even as he leans closer, planting a gentle kiss against your lips as a reward for himself.
“There.” He smiles, hands coming to rest against your thighs. Any thoughts of dinner completely abandoned. He’ll just order take out once he has you in the nest. “All better.” 
“How– you, you!” You hesitate against the sound of his adorable giggle, his hands pulling you closer to his body. Legs wrapping around his waist on instinct. 
“Mhmm, they won’t come around here anymore. I promise, baby.” He hums, lifting you as if you were nothing more than a stuffed animal clinging against his body. “What do we say when your handsome mate helps you out?” 
Your eyes narrow into a glare at his teasing, but you can’t help wrapping further around him. Pulling him close as he ensnares you further into utter devotion. Becoming your safety net against all things scary in the world. 
“Thank you.” You grumble quietly, a gentle peck against his too-soft lips given as a token of your appreciation in that moment. Stopping yourself before you melt into the feeling of his fangs pressed against your lips. “I appreciate it Min…” 
As you’re finally able to hide your face away in his neck– snuggling against his skin and blocking your vision from any other scary things that might exist in the world, you completely miss the way Jimin tosses a small pile of bugs near the window. The same window that was left open just a crack too wide. The same window that he allowed a spider to crawl inside.
The same spider he may have made a deal with.
He hates when you’re mad at him. Hates it more than anything else when you take away the single thing he craves most– you. So could you really, really blame him for hatching a little plan? One he knew would send you into his arms. Make up for your whole little argument in a second. 
Never, ever wants to be the cause for your fear. But every once and awhile it can serve a purpose, he supposes. Especially when it gets him out of the dog house. Gets you nestled into his web, watching movies for the night. Curled in his embrace, gentle words and soothing hands warming you. 
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