#so im trying to remember these roles
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WATCHED C3e99 DOWNFALL PART 1 AND UHHH I HAVENT DRAWN FAN ART IN YEARS BUT THE MUSE REALLY SPOKE TO ME THIS TIME
Step 2 figure out how the Emissary actually looks
#I VOTE WE JUST CALL HIM APPLES#my sibling and I were watching together and I was like noshir STILL hasn't come in yet I bet he's in the fucking crate#and then#Apples <3#BE APPLES#I've solely been referring to the emissary as Apples in all of our conversations okay I love him#im big in love with Asha tho I am very excited to see what the rest of downfall brings us#I feel like my brain was going 7000 mph the whole episode trying to remember every scrap of lore I could remember#idk maybe more art to come I guess???#everyone thank my good buddy P who can not see this post as it will be spoiler tagged for them but they somehow unlocked my art block#by introducing a What If Ashton Draws As A Coping Mechanism AU and I went slightly feral over it <33#critical role#exu downfall#critical role campaign 3#god my tagging system has gone to shit there is so much goin on#bells hells#it's not BH but that's what all the rest of the C3 stuff is tagged with so im just gonna do that for my own searching purposes I guess#sams art#cr downfall
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i wonder if teru's gullible. i mean he seems to know that claw is bad news, but claw seems pretty straight forward about being evil. he also believed pretty quickly that reigen is claw's boss and psychic. or maybe he just goes with anything that aligns itself with his perception of the world.
#theres this hc developing in my head where since he fed off of people praising him and believed the world hierarchy that claw has been#making him believe and that had made sense to him since he was stronger than everyone else etc and since the first time he refused to#believe a claim someone made of him - mob - it had actually revealed itself to be true -- he now takes things at face value.#his enemies seem to be straight forward. and im thinking hed develop this bluntness to the world.#that and his role model being mob whos very blunt. i mean he tears down ritsu in their first meeting without much sugarcoating and i#remember during the world domination arc that he told hoshino and asahi that they were pretty useless point blank. also him confessing to#being lonely during the summer omake.#though there was that one omake where he skirts around confessing to edano about his wig and when he tells mob girls are watching him cuz#hes handsome. i guess that could be interpreted as him misunderstanding his surroundings. maybe his hair did grow out quickly because of hi#powers man idk it#was also a question during the second ova. what the fuck am i saying? i do think hed maybe try to be nice about it#when he realizes i cant just believe hes so tuned into peoples emotions after avoiding thinking about other people as above commoners for s#long. anyways this was my ted talk
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the feeling when you’re looking through your old bookmarks on ao3 and come to the realization that the hermitcraft fic you hyperfixated on when you were younger was either deleted or you didn’t bookmark it like an idiot
#I AM CURRENTLY. TRYING TO FIND IT. IF ANYONE KNOWS HOW TO FIND AO3 COMMENT HISTORY PLEASE LET ME KNOW#PLEASE HELP. IM STRUGGLING#IT WAS MADE AROUND 2018-2020ISH AND IT WAS AN AU WHERE FALSE STRESS N CLEO WERE LIKE? PRINCESSES I THINK???#IT WAS A FANTASY AU#AND I THINK THERE WAS A POINT WHERE FALSE WAS LIKE. FUCKIN. AMNESIA AND SHE BECAME THIS SORT OF ASSASSIN???#I DONT REMEMBER THAT BUT CLEARLY BUT I REMEMBER HER HAVING A HOOD N CLOAK AND NOT REMEMBERING STUFF#SHE HAD LIKE. A SLIGHTLY ANTAGONISTC ROLE UNTIL SHE RECOVERED HER MEMORIES#THERE WAS ALSO A SCENE WHERE STRESS FALSE(??) AND CLEO WERE IN A FOREST AND THEY WERE LIKE. SETTING UP CAMP#AND THEY ENDED UP MEETING THESE MAGICAL BIRDS THAT BONDED TO THEM??? I THINK???#MY MEMORY IS SHIT BUT IF THIS REMINDS YOU OF ANY HERMITCRAFT FIC DURING THE ERA OF 2018-2020 PLEASE LET ME KNOW#IM TRYING SO SO SO HARD TO FIND IT#ao3#hermitcraft#help me find this fic pls#hermitblr#good times with mar
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this show is kind of making me have a bit of a gender crisis. if i may be real
#but no matter what i know my name is jack#idk its hard to determine if im nonbinary because im nonbinary or because i despise the roles automatically assigned to me as a woman#but if i try to escape womanhood because i dont identify with its societal role am i affirming the role of women in its current place#yet i know i truly do not belong with 99% of the women that i interact with in real life regardless of their success in acting socially#acceptable as a woman. i feel a rift between me and a cis butch even if she is more traditionally masculine than i am#i do not view myself as a man but as a child before i knew of transgenderism i sobbed whenever anyone reminded me i would go through female#puberty and immediately rejected gender roles as soon as girlhood implied more to me than dancing in a glitter princess dress#do i have the right to attempt an escape from myself or should i fall into agony as my role as woman#simply so i exist as proof that women can be like me?#my deadname is extremely feminine and represents something delicate and pure and innocent.#it has disgusted me since i was a child. i remember being 8 and going by different names to try to escape it. no matter what i know my name#is the true control over myself. i dont know if i can escape the body i was born with but i do know i can destroy the labels i was given#along with it.
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I'm rewatching campaign 2 and I forgot how much I adore Bryce. They have such a comforting presence and are one of the first strangers that genuinely appreciates the M9 and treats them like a friend. They're such a "minor" npc in the overall scale of campaign 2 but I feel like they were apart of the spark that made the M9 who they are.
#anyway im trying to say thank you matthew mercer#matthew mercer#critical role#critical role campaign 2#cr campaign 2#cr bryce#critical role bryce#and they're nb!!! which makes them so much more comforting#idk im realizing theyre one of my favorites npcs#i remember how sad i was when they found out bryce went to the front lines#we never found out what happened to them i think?#MATTHEW IS BRYCE OKAY I HAVE TO KNOW#kal thoughts
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Currently thinking about the last time I met up with my college friends, and we went around the table reintroducing ourselves with names and pronouns, cus it gets like that. And every time it would come around to me, I would deflect and distract instead of answering because I hadn't actually figured it out yet. It's coming up on a year since then, I still have no idea what the answer would be
#Queer gang#it was literally this time last year cus it was the last time i went home for winter break that i saw them all#i panicked and got distracted the first time i was supposed to introduce myself despite the fact theyre the last people who would judge#but were a bunch of very easily distracted fckers so it wasnt even that noticeable that i hadnt answered at first#but then one of them realised id never actually introduced myself and i cant even remember how i changed the topic#but someone would always realise in the middle of someones story so id just redirect the attention to what we were already discussing#to buy myself time to think but i never actually came up with an answer and im stuck on a coach rn so my brain has all this time to think#and im just. its been a year since that incident its been several years since i started to think maybe my gender didnt entirely fit#but every time i try to figure it out like a puzzle like i did with my sexuality the first time i realise i dont really have an answer#its not that i feel that something else would fit better and i cant figure out why it doesnt feel right in the first place#is it because i was raised hyperfeminine despite growing up predominantly around brothers?#is it because tradition gender roles dont fit anyway when yoyre queer because so much of gender is tangled up in sexuality?#is it because im taking too much of a theoretical/whatever approach to it when i know gender is predominantly a social construct?#is it because its just not that deep and i dont care? or do i care and i just havent figured it out yet? idk
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fuck i'm actually going to end up enjoying Sevpercy huh
maybe in a picky I like them when they are in my head or when I do it kind of way
or in a time travel way because when it comes to Snape I like his teenage self a lot more than his adult self
#percy weasley#Severus Snape#Sevpercy#i remember reading a post about how snape works really well with characters that fall into a mother hen role and that is something#that i think about with Percy alot so now im kinda 👀 maybe#i just kind of assumed i didn't like it because i didn't care for alot of the fics id come across with them#so they might just fall into the same category as like TomPercy where I'm just super extra ultra picky about them#Percy accidently changing history without meaning too by getting close to snape leading to snape never telling Voldemort about the prophesy#that would be funny#because i don't think its openly known that its snape that tells him so its like#Percy had done a few things to hopefully help things and now is waiting for the time to come and its just not coming???#it's now December?? why are the Potters still alive?? not like he wants them not to be but it's like necessary isn't it for Voldemort to fa#he doesn't even know what he even did to change it#which was becoming a Lily replacement for Sev without even meaning to#this is such a weird concept like my brain is thinking Percy goes back post war maybe an accident maybe on purpose#but like its not a he's in a younger body now fic#we are talking reversed age gap here#Maybe his intention was like to go back and try to get close to the Evans (because it would be easier then getting close to the Potters)#and while he succeeds at it he ends up seeing how horrible Severus had it as a kid and now keeps giving him food and being nice to him#ooh random what if in a time travel scenario#you don't age until you reach the day you went back#Ive never seen that but it could be really neat imo#Percy just being stuck at like 25 while everyone ages around him until 2001#like imortality-lite#point is ive turned sevpercy into another 'caretaker' turned lover later in life ship because im weak to it and a little bit of a weirdo#again i blame the fact i have daddy issues and have a secret wish to be taken care of#poor Sevs just got a thing for Redheads that are nice to him
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wait actually connecting the dots was the guy telling us the fight would go well when we were half a party of first timers also the one who forgot to lb3 us like bro was a tank one of em. jffjjssn he forgor.
#the one guy who does know the fight gjdjsjsbsbsbd#no one doing trial roulette at midnight we were all here to discover it#actually the coach review im doing in my head is critical again i realised i once more forgot to hit SSS like i have to figure out a spot on#the hotbar for me to remember#ok authors notes and definitions ¹LB for Limit Break: staple of FF big ability that you get to use after certain conditions#in this case for the time spent in the fight (+other little things but mostly its about the time spent). in the context of this tale#a protective one was needed to supershield us from death. hence 'tank lb' speaking of ²Tank: one of the three key roles in a fight#alongside Healer (self explanatory) and dps (damage-per-second– hence damage dealers) the tank is solid and takes hits#so that the others dont have to. its sturdy and healthy and looks particularly yummy tovthe enemies to make tjem want to hit Just this guy#in this specific story there were Two tanks#one of them seemingly having knowledge of the specific fight we embarked on#the other likely not. neither of them activated the special limited use bug spell we needed to survive though (only they can)#and for ur curiousity dear scientual i play as damage dealer. so that i cant be the bearer of thus sort of mistake ever 👍#though granted dps also could do LB fumbles in this specific fight apparently. twas the fight disclaimers on the guides jdjfjfd#'do NOT cast dps LB UNLESS the boss himself os casting something or else he'll activate invulnerability and make it all useless'#+8second of invulnerability??? bro i just elected to not even try it even before the fight went. awry.#even tho technically my position is good for damage lb its ok given how it went i doubt anyone would mind that no one hit the lb gjdjsjsjsks#to be fair its one of these situations where its better left to the healer in case all goes wrong again#(author note damage lb does big damage. healer lb does big heal and if maxed out on its capacity can even ressurect anyone dead)#(hence. given the struggle. it was better off being theirs even outside of the odd conditions of the boss turning invulnerable)#dont think anyone used it tho#its ok.
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Sometimes I remember sense8 made a white police main character and have him help a black kid who was shot and his partner (who was racially ambitious) were against it. And then he brought kid to hospital and a black nurse said she can't help him in a rude way because idk kid was injured in gang fight and she doesn't care. And white police somehow helped kid to take help and then kid helped him to do police shit against some black group.
Then white trans girl got insulted by a terf who is also black. And her girlfriend who is also black was nothing but her extremely supportive girlfriend no other personality.
Or characters having some shared visions and see some slurs again their own community written on the wall and police characters slur was pig. And German one was nazi. While gay one was faggot and Kenyan one was n-word.
Or one Indian main character having her main storyline her being in love with German guy instead of her fiancé and it was also very tasteless to me.
Or Korean one is good at martial arts and her brother and father is evil and stole her carrier and brother made her go to jail and it's so misogynistic there in Korea.
Like American characters get very detailed and many faced storylines while poc ones get the most basic Stories based on stereotypes and 2d written side characters. .
Anyways and then I became angry out of no reason. It can be such a good show except it wasn't. It was weirdly full of copaganda and racism. And like I see no race style writing.
And then it weirdly became fantasy racism story like X-Men.
#and this is like what i remember#there was shit with kenyan character and his girlfriend who were a reporter and treated like some silly activist#because she tryed to talk how his main role model was a white man or something amd tried to bring some intersectionality to conversation#no silly all people are equal we see no race#look this is a rant i dont wrote it very carefully i can be wrong in some ways but im general it was so#written by white queers who doesn't understand racial problems style show#like trans girls storyline was mostly good even tho it had problems they were not like transmisogynistic problems
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Can we talk about how resourceful Zack is, though?
While for comic relief reasons, he's often shown as 'uncultured' or somewhat naive (in this episode, not realizing the shopkeeper was asking for a bribe, and seemingly not knowing what a bribe is), that doesn't stop him from being smart in his own way. His trick with the watches was very neat and was working really well. He was Invested
#cs zack#carmen sandiego 2019#csweekly#been trying (and failing) to put this into words for days gdi#give that dude a role to play and he'll go all in. obv duke of vermeer but also his whole 'im a scientist not a zookeeper' moment#he's actually so sweet tho. remember how he worked really hard during the duke of vermeer caper?#remember later in s2 when carmen's mad at ivy and him bc they're in prison and he thinks she doesn't want them around anymore?#i'm. what a good boy.#love that watching the eps slowly helps me appreciate each character more#i already thought he was nice but i didn't think much of him y'know?#the show itself doesn't develop him much but what we have is nice actually
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Mr Apples I love u <3
What is a pencil? How do u draw again??? I haven't done this in like..... a VERY hot minute!
#should I have done warm ups before this??? probably!#should I have done literally any studies at all to remember how angles and shapes work??? probably!#did I jump straight in and just try to relearn on the fly?? 100% yeah#I WAS A FIGURE DRAWING ARTIST AT ONE POINT GOD WHAT ARE BODIES WHAT ARE DHAPES OH GOD ITS BEEN A MINUTE#I can feel my brain kicking and screaming trying to remember how to work oh god it's almost nice tho we'll see#critical role#exu downfall#c3e99#critical role campaign 3#the emissary#apples I love u so much sweet boy full of love he's confused to be here but ready for anything#sams art#god it's been over a year since I really drew much at all#and almost longer than that for any bodies or thinking work besides exact copy bug photo studies#cr downfall#im actively doing more doodles as we speak
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. noncoherent but also thoughts
#i have such mixed feelings on the solas varric save everyone meme#bc on one hand ya that is whats going on in that dialoge but also!! its not!!#solas *is* trying to save everyone from his pov on several levels (the spirits the ancieny elves the modern people too to an extent*)#*the extent being how far he views them as people/everyone being semi dependant on his relationship with the inquisitor i believe#and he is trying this is his third fucking attempt we know of to save everyone#(which of course he will keep trying and keep trying as alone as possible he isnt named pride for no reason he doesnt have a place -#-in the dalish pantheon for no reason)#and then varric..#my god where do i even begin with varric's pov#da2 varric is EXTREMELY you cant save everyone (so why bother to try) and so very much out for himself (and those he cares about -#-bc those are *his* friends and his friends are part of his life)#but for those outside his circle? varric does not give two shits about anyone outside in da2#dai varric has learned over the past 10 years little. imo. he's learned his friends are affected by things he cannot control (hello.) but#he clings to the idea he can control things he can write their (his) story bc if he cant (and he knows he cant its why he tries so hard) -#then its been meaningless the whole time and he's back at square one#varric has learned the you have to try thing the fucking hard way and tbh he doesnt really believe it (at least not in dai)#i REALLY wanna see dav varric and what development he's had (sorry i havent read the comics and probably wont theyre hard for me to see/read#god i wish i could see what my tags are bc i dont remember where i cut several of these off fuck mobile tagging but anyways#i want tosee what direction varric has moved in - his dialogue inthe trailer is deeply interesting to me. specifically. since it does seem#to imply a real shift in his pov but im Suspicious bc while varric has always cared deeply and has been tryung very hard to keep his friends#read his#life comfortable he's really never picked any sort of side in his life varric is deeply centrist bc he benefits from not rocking the boat#(usually.)#(dai trapped him imo and hes not there to save the world by a long shot)#but dav seems to position him into an instigator role a real shake it up and point role#very interesting to me i wanna see where it goes#anyway.#im gonna take more headache meds and open indeed and blow myself up
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ik a mention rgg nerfing ttm's features when modelin sawashiro every five minutes but they really had to cause aint no way in hell would a been intimated by this bruv if they didnt
#snap chats#oh im fucked i really put 'a' instead of 'i'. whatever thats how i pronounce it we goin phonetic baby#did ou know i remember abolutely nothing about the ending of drive. i watched it while drinking two soju#DO NOT RECOMMEND by responsible#to totally contradict myself im drinkin nigori i bought . i didnt know alcohol cold frreeze and i accidentally froze it ☠️☠️☠️#iiii ALOMST knocked my cup over ohmy gd#moving on. legality to say soem BULLSHIT noowt ho#anyway n o lsien to me ttm's 38 in this movie and sawashiro's 38 in 2000. probably. i cant do math rn Or Ever point is About Same Age#this IS from drive. great movie. and this is one of his cuter/sillier roles imo so awkward comp but ill still speak#main text got me lying i was out of pocket seeing bro frame 1 anyways but it woulda been a diff vibe this route lsten to me#hes just too cute bro . bye. fymhes an antagonist hes too cte for that <- his filmography prves otherwise#gon try to start an argument with me what you gon do mate kiss me ??? enough.#i like how ttm just has A Vibe to him. Apparently. he always playin awkward mates.... back then anyway..#postman blues did him so dirty bein all 'slender-framed mates are more prone to socipathy' LKE LEAVE HIM ALONNNE#wehhh i wish they mocapped his facial expressions more accuraltey in rgg. and his teeth. his smle still cute to me..#i sound lke my mom when she talks bout lee joongi whenever i talk bout ttm ew lke bye. stop#ok im going bak to playing mincraft now bye#oh my gd when did it become 2AM literally suck my ween
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Yall,,,,,,,,,, im modding my pc copy of p4g to hell and back bc ive finished the game 3 times and homies,,,,,, some of the comments on these mods are sending me.
(On the gay romance mod) "this mod is incredibly creepy, this chara is a minor and we shouldnt be modding in dating options for them. Probably best to report this"
Bruh. One its cut content still in the game files, and just made active again. Two look me in the eyes and tell me word for word what the canon lovers romance flag is. Tell me exactly how the 16yr old protag starts dating rise. Ill wait.
#im just gonna send this out into thw wild without tags and hope no one cancels me#to any of my followers who care#its been a while since i played so i dont remember exactly why shes bawling#i think bc she decided she did wanna go back to showbiz but her movie role was replaced by a competitor#anywho she is sobbing buckets#and the protag can either hug her or stand there like a fucking clown and let her cry publically at the steak skewer place#i didnt realize thats the romance flag so i went#my protag isnt going to be an asshole so im going to comfort her and give her a hug#and then the romance flag pinged#note i was trying for yukiko or chie at the time but that cancelled that#my boy is not a two timer#but yeah our bestie that we fished out of the garbage telling us that were special to him and that he wants to hold our hand CANNOT#be worse than that#maybe after i mod all this ill finish my aa playthrough#my switch copy is just sitting there and i feel bad since a few of my mutuals love it and i feel like it too could take over my head hole#but souyo has owned my entire ass for the past 4 years so alas im gonna put another 200hrs into a 60hr game
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Was just reminded of Kingsley gaining 17 levels in six months in the reunited two-shot and there are many potential in- and out-world explanations but I'm cracking up at the concept of the Nein looking at Kingsley hurling his incredibly underleveled self at a life of piracy, said "no. We're not doing this again." and put him in adventurer's bootcamp.
#kingsley tealeaf#critical role#cr2#like im guessing leveling in bloodhunter is more like remembering his abilities than learning new ones#so hes got the potentiality for however many lucien had#and molly just discovered his as part of defending the circus or trying to do cool shit#and wasnt motivated to develop them further until he actively chose to go into danger w the nein#whereas kingsley said sign me up for mortal danger as soon as he could walk and talk#and was highly motivated to try different shit maybe based on the neins descriptions or thru experimentation#the levels in rogue are because beau did her adventure bootcamp days after hours and wanted them done asap to get back to her wife#and because veth was doing hers after putting luc to bed and woke him up with crossbow ambushes#noodle watches critical role#noodle speaks
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I love it when I jokingly call a male character a bum and the person watching the movie with me immediately brings up childhood trauma as a gotcha
#“men naturally shove the role of parenthood onto women. you remember *x* doing the same to you dont you??”#like what the hell#you will not believe what fucking movie we were watching#ty for bringing up this persons emotional abuse that we both had to deal with and trying to justify it specifically in my case because#he is male. thank you so much for that reminder.#may delete later im just miffed#shummy screaming into the void#then getting mad at me because now im pissed off...like did you not grow up in the same enviroment#i feel like i was thrown into the twilight zone what the hell was that entire interaction
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