#so im self quarentining lol

[arcane-strangeness]

really really funny to me that i can pass out, knock my front teeth loose and fracture my upper jaw, and nearly bite through my lip in one fall without getting squeamish or scared but the thought of throwing up terrifies me

[minghaocouture]

Welp my productivity is either gonna sky rocket the next to weeks or become non existent. Just a warning(?)

[one-abuse-survivor]

my dad ruined christmas. He started off with constantly antagonising my sister, arguing with my mum and shouting at her, and then, later when i was attempting to get a screwdriver to release my new toy car from its case (it was a mini delorean from back to the future haha so awesome!) he corners me and starts going back on a rant of how dumb i am and how im such a bad child for him. I understand i was in the wrong for repeating ‘excuse me please, excuse me’ the entire time, but i was trying to drown out his voice but also try hoping politeness will help move it along and i can be free quicker. I tried shouting to my mum saying, ‘mum, help me please come on, hes trapped me again, hellooo mum help me’ but she literally couldnt care less, even waving a hand in dismissal towards me, then he told me he was gonna hit me if i didnt start behaving, and he wuestioned what he’d done that was so horrible, that made me not speak to him anymore and act like he wasnt even living here, but i ignored him. I just had to get to my room, and i did. He did back me up further, to which i told him to f off (ik bad on my part, i wish i hadnt said it) but it ahocked him so horribly that he went to go tell my mum, and i made my immaculate escape lol. But as this hasnt happened to me since before quarentine in 2020 (when he would do this for hours at a time, for almost 2 years at that point) ive just been in a huge mental fog and obsessing over the new year and what new challenges i ‘have to overcome’ and stuff and im so scared, honestly. All this year was me pulling myself up from depression and wanting to be unalive and now im acc wanting to live and be happy, i dont know how lol. I mean, what if i screw it up and suddenly it all comes back and i give in this time? What if i dont be my best self next year and finally, finally get away from my parents? My birthdah is next week and im almost sure hes gonna ruin it, like he has the past 3. I have hope he wont, and that this years gonna be great, but i have so much dread and fear, and idk how to make those go away fully tbh

Nonnie, I'm so sorry he did this. I hope you know what your dad did to you on Christmas day and all those times before quarantine is really abusive, and your mum not caring is also abusive and neglectful. You did not deserve his insults or his threats. I don't think you were in the wrong for doing or saying any of the things you did and said in that situation—I think you did your best to de-escalate it and get yourself to safety.

When it comes to abuse, in my personal opinion, there's no wrong way to react—nothing you can do or say that means you actually caused or deserved the abuse. More often than not, we act on instinct in these situations—and not rationally—because our fight/flight/freeze/fawn response has been triggered. So please, don't be hard on yourself for the way you handled the situation. You should never have been put in that position in the first place, and it's him you should be mad at for cornering and abusing you, and not yourself for the way you reacted. All you wanted was to keep yourself safe.

I also want you to know that demanding to know what he did to make you not speak to him was really abusive of him. My mother did this too, and I just want you to know you're not alone .

I'm sorry 2021 was such a bad year, and I really hope you're proud of yourself for everything you accomplished regarding your depression, because that's huge! I also hope your birthday went well after all ❤️

Regarding dread about 2022 not being good/not being the year you finally leave, try to focus on the things you can control, nonnie. Some days, "what you can control" can look like gathering all your important documents and giving your friends your belongings (like books, toys...) little by little so you don't have to take everything with you in one go later on. Other days, it can look like getting through the day or even through the next few minutes. That's okay. It's okay if "doing your best" some days looks like surviving the day. You're still working towards getting out of there by surviving, I really hope you know that.

Sending all my support your way. You know I'm here if you need to reach out again ❤️

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

ah yeah, i think quarentine has given people some opportunity to actually just sit with the person they are, rather than be rushing around for the person they want to become. its good you got smth good out of isolation! ah thats great! hope you had fun and ur partner in crime speeds back home so you can get out more hehe.

ah yeah ty, good suggestions.

hmm good point, i was sort of putting it separate to the whole not-sexualising thing, but yeah. mmm yeah i totally agree, some of the enhypen fics/imagines *shudder* and even reading innie stuff is just a bit *icky* cos everyone still thinks of him as our agi ppang. yeah def would be good but sadly this just seems to be the world we live in. :(

ah yes the holy masterlist (not sarc) i have actually read in the rain and gladius maximus before, but ill go look for in class! oooh thats good! character development lol. hmmmm yes champagne problems was the angst to end all angst, that shit hurt. it was actually one of the first of your fics i read and i recall almost crying over the whole thing, it was so heartbreaking, i can see how it almost made you want to drop angst. good that youve allowed yourself some lee-way tho :)

hehe thats so cool. okay here we go, ill try not to be mortally offended (/hj)

cheese - yes same, i liked it but that was all there was, it wasnt a super standout track. it was rlly underwhelming for me but some of the hook is super catchy so there is Redemption (tm) in store for cheese maybe

thunderous - mmm, yeah at first i totally agreed, i think they suffer from too much good music syndrome, that all their other tracks are such fucking bops its hard to stay at that level of perfection. the choreo was beautiful tho and tbh, the track has grown on me since ive been watching all the vids abt it. its my brothers favourite track

domino - YES GODAMMIT IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE TITLE TRACK. the raps, the vocals, the vibes, the fucking domino sound in the back? i would have streamed that shit on repeat. but tbh, as good as it is, it doesnt have that sort of grandness/oomph that skz seems to like in their title tracks so i can see why they chose thunderous (tho domino would have been so good) *sigh*

ssick - yeah same, not my fave track by a long mile, the crowd cheering was a ?strange? choice and the chorus was a bit bare/empty, plus like i mentioned earlier, it was kinda funny to me for some reason but ill still play it if im playing thru the whole album

the view - ahh one of those not like other girls (/j) i honestly think its just a good party song, just a bop to play in the background when nobodys rlly paying much attention. its pretty generic pop music but catchy

sorry, i love you - hehe yeah i thought it was going to be sadder as well, but i rlly loved the fact that they all just got to sing, which almost never happens, i dont think ive heard felix sing for a long time, so i enjoyed it. wasnt rlly a standout track but i just casually like it. looking forward to the fic haha

silent cry - this song i swear, some bits are rlly good and then others are just? why?? it does sound like a dance song tho idk. definitely not one of my faves either

secret secret - YES its so good! its such a chill song and i love their vocals in it. the combination of lo-fi/fake strings backup stuff and their heavenly vocals just makes it *chefs kiss* im listening to it rn and just... its so beautiful. it gives me pumped up another day vibes ya know? like my pace is edgy get cool, this one is energetic another day i feel like. overall i love it

STAR LOST - ah thats so cool! i didnt know that! on first listen this song had a similar vibe to secret secret but then the beat came in and ahh its such a good song. i can totally imagine them putting this song to a concert footage vid, this song is so sweet.

red lights - LMAO YES ITS SO AWKWARD WHY DOES IT GO ON FOR SO LONG ah thats good! yeah good point, its quite intense hehe. but that is my fave trope and this is lowkey my favourite track on the album so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ just the combination of hyunjins and chans voices, the backing music, the lyrics ahh red lights my beloved

surfin’ - yes lmao its always a shock, i feel like they should have put gone away in between them, but its such a fun cute song, i cant get rlly mad. yeah, as an aussie i think im contractually obligated to like beaches lol. sand im not such a fan of, but my familys rlly into fishing and my brother loves bodyboarding so we stay at a beach house at least twice a year and we live like 5 mins from 3 different beaches (hehe all aussie cities are on the coast lol) so thats cool. do you like beaches?

gone away - ah gone away my beloved, i love this song sm, its just so pure and showcases their vocals and lyrics so well. yes the pitch change is very out of the blue, i feel liek they went directly from seungmins soft vocals to hans powerful ones which was an interesting choice, but hey, im not complaining

wolfgang - YES IKR ah im so happy he got to be included in that era and song. yeah its such a full on song i cant rlly listen to it if im in a quiet mood but its very motivating :)

hehe mood, i hope they do! ahhh no rest, but at least you wont have to pull a blink and wait a year for any word from the group lol. im not rlly into nct but im excited for them! ah hopefully youll be able to sneak some rest into that chaotic schedule, with enhypen (idk if u stan but yeah) squeezed into it haha

<3 w.a. 🐺

i wheezed at partner in crime, it reminded me of smth. i have a lee know fic in the drafts that i wrote 'in honor' of him (and his departure-ish). i'll tag you when i finish it, if you want. it's a rather hilarious one.

oh my god. based on my experience on the collabs i've joined before, writing explicit shit for '01 & '02 is not accepted (nct's maknaes) but with enha's hyung line '01 & '02 somehow it's okay? i do a double take every time i see fics like those i mean, technically, it's legal but still what the fuck. maybe it's just not for me at the moment. not at us venting our frustration about this. it's just something that's so accepted here that i am (in all honesty) slightly uncomfortable about. but oh well. that's kpop writerblr for you.

man i could've linked all the fics in the ask instead so you wouldn't have to go looking for them! i think i saw you like in class the other day (the fic i renamed into sharp-tongued, god it took me a while to remember the new title). describing champagne problems as an angst to end all angst is one way to put what i was feeling back in december. it just hurt to write and admit?? if that ever happened to me i would prolly cry :d

okay back to the album talk! i love how you answered with more thoughts. i love exchanges like these! i am a victim of the cheese hook and it's now one of my favorite tracks in the album. PLS, TOO MUCH GOOD MUSIC SYNDROME. that's on our self-producing kings 😌💅 also, your brother has taste! as i am typing this, domino's currently playing in my head and i realized that too, that it doesn't have that 'vibe' of a skz title track. honestly, this could be a title track of another group. ssick is starting to grown on me because i found the beats cool kdjsk not the not like other girls 😭 the view is the generic pop that i don't like but i get why a lot of people enjoy it. sorry i love you scratches a certain itch that i find myself singing the first few lines every time i remember it. i too would want to hear felix sing more!

> a mini junction on the album talk bc i got side tracked. on that topic, i want skz to switch positions at some point like i know those allrounders are capable of doing so. specifically, i want to hear seungmin rap!!!! (yk in the recent weekly idol he talked faster than changbin in a challenge and changbin is like the fastest rapper in kpop that's active atm if im not mistaken. my dandy boy has some potential and i want it UNLEASHED.)

back to album talk. silent cry is basically sad music to twerk to. secret secret is definitely one of my favorite tracks :( i loved how you compared the tracks HAJSAH i burst out laughing bc yk what, you're right! i want to make a star lost edit of skz but i simply do not have the time i want to cry. i love the song so much. ok, my dreaded track, red lights. idt i have played the track since we last talked. my friend sent me the lyrics tho and i'm itching to write a twisted au out of it. idk if you're comfortable with yandere but somewhere along those themes. the obsessive type of love that's sweet at first but turns rotten. IMAGINE IF THEY PUT GONE AWAY BETWEEN ASHJA it's like going from 50 shades to the notebook.

i was about to ask if you lived near the coast and you literally mentions it here god im so stupid. yes i LOOOOOOOOOVE beaches so much. living in an archipelago is fun :( i live in a part of the country that's more island than city so every time i want some vitamin sea it's accessible. i heard the waves in australia are great :( anYWHOOO gone away :(( every time it plays im compelled to skip it because it makes me sAD AND NOWADAYS I DONT HAVE THE TIME TO BE SAD. contrary to you, i dislike my quiet moods because i tend to overthink a lot.

i have this little analogy about how there are stays that enjoy songs the generic pop + mellow songs and then there are other stays that enjoy the noisy tracks. in my mind, it's like a perfect balance that makes me feel like all the tracks are loved in the end. just by different people.

PULL A BLINK. bro i fucking hate yg entertainment. they have the biggest kpop girl group LOCKED in their basement when they could be (and i mean this in the most business-like way not morally) milking money of the quad. they're yg's biggest hope at not being bankrupt atm so it's a damn fucking mystery to me as to how they aren't doing anything. (jk i just realized lisa solo album soon, but i still need a ot4 cb hELLO)

i stopped looking forward to the teasers. rest > kpop boys. i don't want to sound like a cult member but have you tried checking out nct? are they just not your thing? (i get it tho, that's one hard group to get into). and yes i do stan enhypen!

wow i love how long these asks are! they're like online penpals. but i also want to ask about you! how have you been lately? are you feeling okay both mentally and physically? how's the weather there? do you have anything that you want to talk about? maybe an interesting book you read? feel free to bring up anything you want to share! i'm getting conscious about talking about myself HAJHSJ

and yet another long answer B) i am sooo sorry T___T should these ask exchanges feel draining to you, feel free to stop sending them in AAAA

[molusca]

50 Questions You’ve Never Been Asked

tagged by @yuiaka ty!! <3

1. What is the color of your hairbrush?: black and red

2. Name a food you never eat?: onions. i fucking hate onions, dont put onions in my mouth unless u want me to throw up

3. Are you typically too warm or too cold?: too warm i guess

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago?: finishing my coffee and getting ready to clean the cup the demons broke in my room in the middle of the night

5. What is your favorite candy bar?: shot (that one with peanuts or something)

6. Have you ever been to a professional sports event?: nope

7. What is the last thing you said out loud?: "after i finish the milk i will put the broken glass in the box, dont worry im not stupid” to my mom bc she though i was putting glass in the normal trash

8. What is your favorite ice cream?: that blue one that honestly idk what the fuck is that flavor but im a kingdom hearts fangirl sooo. blue icecream

9. What was the last thing you had to drink?: coffee with a bit of milk bc im a baby and cant drink pure coffee

10. Do you like your wallet?: yeah, its pink and hello kitty. cute

11. What was the last thing you ate?: french fries last night

12. Did you buy any new clothes last weekend?: nah

13. The last sporting event you watched?: does haikyuu count?

14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn?: dont like popcorn

15. Who is the last person you sent a text message to?: my bf

16. Ever go camping?: nope

17. Do you take vitamins?: ive been taking vitamin d for a while

18. Do you go to church every Sunday?: i stopped going to church years ago

19. Do you have a tan?: when we arent in quarentine i usually have a bit of tan in my arms

20. Do you prefer Chinese food or pizza?: pizza!!!!!!

21. Do you drink your soda with a straw?: nope

22. What color socks do you usually wear?: i never use the same socks since the day in my last year of high school where i couldnt find the pair, so i went with a different sock in each foot and some friends noticed so i decided Well That’s My Thing Now. so when i wear socks (only when i have to get out of the house bc i hate using shoes), i wear a different one in each foot. i have some plain white ones (very very dirty) and a bunch of colored ones, so its always a mix of everything. i have some very fluffy and cute ones for winter, but winter lasts like a month here so i dont use it much lol

23. Do you ever drive above the speed limit?: i cant drive im bi

24. What terrifies you?: spiders, the things i hear in the middle of the night, someone breaking in the house (im very paranoid of this idk why)

25. Look to your left, what do you see?: my bed (a fucking mess), my calendar in the wall thats still on march, plastic weapons i like to play with, my small aquarium at the side of my bed

26. What chore do you hate?: all of them

27. What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent?: i dont think ive ever heard it? idk much about accents

28. What’s your favorite soda?: fanta orange

29. Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive-thrus?: go in the fast food, i dont have a car for drive thrus

30. Who’s the last person you talked to?: mom

31. Favorite cut of beef?: idk i just like beef

32. Last song you listened to?: love me or leave me - little mix

33. Last book you read?: i finished noite na taverna (no im not looking for the english title even if theres one) and now im reading one of conan doyle sherlock holmes stuff (too lazy to search the title too, in portuguese its vale do terror). if fanfic counts im reading tons of valdangelo lately

34. Favorite day of the week?: uhh saturday i guess

35. Can you say the alphabet backwards?: i cant even say it in normal order. no joke

36. How do you like your coffee?: with a bit of milk (something like 1/4 of milk i guess?) and three spoons of suger

37. Favorite pair of shoes?: none. i hate shoes

38. The time you normally go to sleep?: i get in bed at 9pm, when i sleep totally depends of the mood

39. The time you normally get up?: normally its 6am, but now that im not having classes i just woke up and turn off the alarm and get up when my parents leave the house to work (around 6:45am)

40. What do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets?: sunsets

41. How many blankets on your bed?: three but im only using two

42. Describe your kitchen plates: its brown

43. Do you have a favorite alcoholic beverage?: nope i hate alcohol

44. Do you play cards?: its very very rare and i dont remember the rules for anything

45. What color is your car?: i dont have a car

46. Can you change a tire?: is there a youtube tutorial for it? lol maybe if i tried

47. Your favorite province?: the fuck is a province

48. Favorite job you’ve ever had?: the only “job” i had is working in the fish lab i work and its nice and fun

49. How did you get your biggest scar?: self harm during the entire high school im not gonna elaborate on that

50. What did you do today that made someone else happy?: i woke up like an hour ago so nothing lol. usually nothing i do make other people happy anyway

im too lazy to tag but @ anyone who sees this, do it its fun

[fart-gate]

SG1

Season 2 episode 7

"MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE"

Notes by me

- A nice stroll on the moon!

- I was wrong its not the moon :\

- Daniel so matter of fact when he says things. The Confidence

- "you think it might be a booby trap?"

"..........booby?"

- Daniel said the name of the episode

- this old ass metal ball is gonna be a problem isnt it. The theme for this show is Ideas That Backfire so I feel like this is a mistake

- 2 more elements for the periodic table!

- "I think he has a crush on you"

"Uh we are recording now..."

"......oops"

Daniel your match making skills are abysmal pls stick to your day job

- the NID again?? Barf no thanks

- P4G881 is the next mission!

- daniel saying his archeologist skills are needed here with the ball and hammond saying Noted

- no glasses!Daniel

- "Jack come on....."

"DANIEL"

Scolding his little bro

- P5C353 is where the ball is from

- is it alive???

- guys you are holding a radiation infected ball with your bare hands do you WANT to die

- IMPALED 👀

- oh god right thru his shoulder

- the alarm is giving me anxiety

- the rest of them running into the room to help 😭 all my kids are in love

- "where the hell is tealc"

- they just have to watch him suffer while they try to get it out of him

- Daniel needs to stop blaming himself for everything

- quarentine! I know how you feel guys

- at least they gave him something to sit on

- the ball has little bugs in it. They look like bacteria

- OH GOOD GOD THEYRE ALL OVER JACK

- oh no not graham!!! Hes cute!!

- is tealc holding jacks hand 💕

- who cares about your quarentine !!! Graham needs help!! Hes got one foot in the grave!!! Typical that he would be allergic to the only medication that could help

- "it wont take us without a fight,sir."

"Damn right"

- junior protects tealc from the bugs

- tealc staying with him and dabbing his forehead with a cloth ❤ im fine

- "tealc, you dont have to stick around"

"Undomesticated equines could not remove me"

- tealcs first joke mark the calendar❤

- they called each other "my friend" I'm on the edge of my sanity here folks

- DAMN that was a good scream. He reached out for tealc god im having a good time

- Graham is not looking too hot! He wants to see Sam :) maybe a little in office dating will spice things up? Would love for Sam to date a co worker who she outranks

- if it cant live without oxygen then just give Jack a breather and suck all the air out of the room.

- maybe that wont work since the bugs are already in the walls and thru out the base.....dont listen to me I'm dumb

- oh we are switching it up today my dudes. 'When in doubt, blow it up' has turned into 'under no circumstances give this thing more energy' so bombs are off the table I guess :(

- Jack pls dont blame yourself. What is with you and Daniel putting everything on your own shoulders

- sam and fraiser height difference 💕💕

- Graham needs to not die pls. I would like to see more of him

- not me just realising how hairy daniels hands are

- ".....come here!"

"Who?"

"What? Anybody! just come here!"

Daniel needing someone else to confirm hes not seeing things lol

- it has intelligence! THEN LET JACK GO YA ELECTRONIC SHIT BAG

- ah ok!! We need to give it a good kick!

-it wants to talk thru Jack ! I would like to see it

- the music for this scene🔥🔥🔥

- sam holding jacks hand my brain is imploding

- he looks oddly water logged ?

- "Good morning, campers." I AM OFFICIALLY FREAKED OUT

- the bugs.....can talk

- RDAs acting 💕💞💕😭😭❤❤❤

- if only Daniel wasnt jared 19 then maybe we would have known all of this information from the writings on the ball

- "he wishes to live" THIS IS SUCH CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT FOR JACK BC OF HIS EARLIER ATTEMPTS TO KILL HIMSELF 😩😩😩💗💗💗

- P4G881 is a good idea. Let them infest an unpopulated planet

- I guess the bugs dont understand why someone would be nice to them lmao

- it worked! They let go!

- ok maybe not. Zombie!Jack

- best trope is the self destruct stopping at 1 second

- "we thought we lost you, colonel"

"wild horses, captain"

- lets never go to the planet that you sent them to ok? Okay

- ..........so is Graham still alive or no

~

Whump under the cut

Jack Oniell whump: metal spike through shoulder , pinned to wall, hanging off wall, crying, noises! , shocked by staff weapon mutliple times, infection, fever, screaming, blaming himself, worried tealc

No glasses!Daniel for less than 5 minutes 🤓

🎶listening to I Have Nothing by Whitney Housten 🎶 bc tealc is jacks bodyguard and if Jack died he would be heart broken 💔 bros for life

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

ah yeah i suppose ur right. yeah i think quarentine has had that sort of effect on a lot of people :( sorry to hear abt ur strict parents, hopefully ur friend will be able to come back soon. small outings (even with family) are still good tho, make sure ur taking care of urself toff.

youre totally right! ah yes thats good advice (/gen) ill try and use that when im in a slump ty. any music suggestions?

lol sames. even some of the stuff abt seungmin, innie etc is a little uncomfortable, like theyre grown ass men for sure, but at the same time, theyre still young, still just over being a teenager in the grand scheme of things. (on that note, i do struggle with worrying that im infantalising them, obviously theyre adults but at the same time, theyre still young. i do treat all fictional characters as my children, but i guess its different when its real people. idk. what do you think?) yeah some stans rlly need to take a chill pill, some are rlly walking the wire between 'ah theyre attractive/that look rlly suits them' and making fucking smut fics abt minors, like... they do not see a problem with that?? yeah tbh i feel like unless theyre 18 they shouldnt be put into the spotlight, weve seen what it does to peoples mental health, but modern day kpop industry is a lot like old hollywood with a lot of popular child actors -_- hopefully the big companies will learn but i agree, its unlikely

suuuuure toff haha. ill go searching for them, but idk if ill be able to find the fluff needle in the angst haystack (jkjk) yeah, fair i groan and complain but you do write angst etc rlly well, so if its what ur comfortable with, then pls continue, it is one of your strong suits, well as you write fluff aside

ah okay good! ill continue to send you essays then

THE ALBUM YES. so ive been looking forward to it for literally months, this is actually my first skz album release as a stay (since the last on was 9 months ago) i was sitting there hitting refresh on my spotify the second 6pm kst came around. (speaking of which, how did you do the release? i couldnt decide whether to watch or listen first but i ended up on listening cos there would be more material) okay: so cheese was super cool, very skz ya know? tho i almost wish theyd made domino the title track, tho obv it was a more experimental track and would have been a bit controversial (much like whistle for bp) i looooved domino and thunderous was absolutely impeccable. all the songs were amazing but standouts were- secrets, secrets which lowkey made me tear up idk why, red lights which almost killed me (it did not have to go that hard, but it did) and OT8 WOLFGANG omgggg i wasnt sure if hyunjin was going to be included in it but i was hoping and, ya know people had said hed be in there, but the further i got in, the less i was sure and then BAM hyunjin started what had been jisung's part and i just sat there grinning for about 5 minutes. surfin was absolutely adorable and gone away almost made me cry AGAIN. star lost was so touching, almost a nod to hyunjins little star? silent cry was relatable beyond anything. SSICK was funny? for some reason I was laughing while it was playing, idk the combination of added cheering and minhos aggressiveness and the totall seriousness they sung it. but i rlly enjoyed it. sorry i love you showcased their vocals like nothing else. the view is THE BOP of 2021, absolutely going to be stuck in my head for the next decade, that hook is genius. what did you think?

also did you watch their grow up performance? with all the stays and ALL THE TEARS? ;n; i feel like this is the end of an era of skz and tbh im kinda happy but also sad. super excited for their promotions but super bummed they wont get to tour. ah well

<3 w.a. 🐺

answer under the cut bc i gave an equally long answer to this already long ask HAJSH

oh yeah, abt quarantine having an effect. my friend and i talked about this earlier actually. i didn't realize the world was moving so fast until the pandemic happened. being in quarantine gave me time to think and i got to know myself more. it's just the sole good thing i got out of the isolation lmao. and abt my strict parents, ironically i got to go out today so i got to hang out with a few of my bestfriends. i had fun but my legs are a bit sore from walking. but they're a different set of friends. i'll get to hang out with the others when my getaway driver comes home in december.

hmm music recommendations for writing? depends on the plot you're writing. care to share what story you're working on and i'll try to rake my brain for a song that might match the vibe. i listen to classical / lo-fi if i don't have song inspo for a fic because lyrics sometimes distract me.

i don't think that's infantilizing tho. for me, it has something to do with my environment and the way i was raised. maybe it's the same the other way around? like this certain age (for the ones above 18 but below 20) is thirst-able for them. idk really. it's just not for me ?n? what i do NOT condone is writing smut for minors??? like get checked : D // i agree with everything with the idols being 18+ before they debut simply because it's for the best for their well-being like. how can young idols decide that this shit is the thing they want to do for life? or at least until their contracts last. idk :// it's unfortunate that it's unlikely to happen.

WELL. i have a list so you won't have to go search for them! in class (minho), in the rain (seungmin), gladius maximus (chan) and you've read five star already. and i just realized that most, if not all, of my upcoming fics are fluffs and i'm fond of all of them :D i used to focus a lot on angst because fluff disgusted the living shit out of me. i think things changed when i wrote champagne problems and hurt myself so bad i wanted to drop angst entirely. i didn't, of course, but i allowed myself to be self-indulgent now.

for the release of the album, i was on twt and watched the vid at 12 views (if i remember correctly, i watched back door at 14 so HASJH) i’m gonna talk by track so it wont be too confusing? bc i wrote this in paragraph format and it just ???? beware im very picky with tracks even if they’re my ults. so no offense if we have opposing opinions and i’m not fond of reading lyrics so these are all music wise.

cheese - oh god i hated cheese at first listen but it grew on me easily. i was singing the yeahyeahyeahyeah bit all day today :D

thunderous - i cant say that it’s my favorite title track. it felt really dry sometimes, both mv and music wise. but at the same time, it’s not that bad. the choreography carried the song tho o.O it’s so fucking cool. but like go live, another track has my heart and it’s

domino - AND YES I AGREE THAT THEY SHOULDVE MADE DOMINO TITLE TRACK UGHHHHH WHAT A WASTED FUCKING OPPORTUNITY. WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS HOW FOND I AM OF THIS SONG. it stands close to the level i love easy.

ssick - was a skip on first listen too because i found the chorus underwhelming but it grew on me? not that much but i can bear listening to it.

the view - it’s something the gen public like, hence its something i dislike. im not fond of songs that are structured like this? it’s not a bad song, just not the type of song i like. but i agree that the hook is very not catchy but it would get stuck in ur head.

sorry, i love you - it’s not as sad as i expected but i actually like it??? i can’t wait to write a fic out of it (1) HAJSHAJ it’s like a 3/5 for me. it’s angsty but chill?

silent cry - i’m pissed at this song bc it hits but sometimes it doesn’t?@?#!? but it’s starting to grow on me but definitely not my fave track.

secret secret - glad i found a secret secret enthusiast because my irls thought it was a skip?$?#@$? it gives me ikon vibes and i’m a huge fan of ikon’s discog so this was a win for me T_T +

STAR LOST - gives me bigbang song vibes and now im very sad :(( in case u didnt know, i’m a hUGE yg fan and 2ne1/bigbang introduced me to kpop so when i heard this track that gave me yg feels i just <3___<3 and it’s one of my favorite tracks anw moving on,

red lights - I WANT TO SKIP THE FIRST TEN SECONDS OF RED LIGHTS EVERY TIME IT PLAYS LIKE IT MAKES ME FEEL AWKWARD KDSJFSK but fine. i’m adding this to props and mayhem’s playlist LMAO it’s more aggressive than sexc tho. more enemies to lovers o. O

surfin’ - this coming right after red lights just wasn’t the best decision arrangement wise because how did we go from ooh sexc to aigh pARTAY. felix saying sheesh T___T it’s such a fun song i want to go to the beach ;n; do you like beaches?

gone away - i have yet to read the lyrics because i’m using this as inspo for a jeongin fic jskjash it’s not the type of ballad i like but it’s so fucking sad to listen to :’ ) the pitch change caught me off guard? still does. it’ll grow on me prolly.

wolfgang - I YELLED WHEN I HEARD HYUNJIN IN WOLFGANG. i didn’t like this song until recently. it gives me the confidence boost i need to pick myself off self-esteem crashes.

and no i haven't watched that performance and i prolly wont because i’ll cry. i’m excited for the promotions too. do you think they’ll still have a repackage?? i cant fucking believe that i just finished waiting for 12am kst for skz teasers and now i have to look forward to 12am for nct 127??@?#? NOT A SINGLE DAY OF REST FOR THIS STAYZEN