#so im gonna lose the FUCKING build
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im gonna fucking cry
#for the first time EVER i decided to save my sims game while playing bc i finished something and my game was starting to glitch#and i didnt want to lose this build bc i FINALLY had something i liked#and. guess what fucking happened.#my game froze.#so im gonna lose the FUCKING build#luce plays viddy games
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Thinks about my next series again... I drew the icon for it!
I'm planning to have it launched within a year! I'm hoping for summer 2025. I want to make a prelaunch page before Time and Time Again ends so people can subscribe if they're interested, but I'm worried the series return would be too early...
#SORRY HAHAHA REPOSTING IMMEDIATELY#i. it. IM SORRY okay the.#i had 'im not interested in the comic' as an option but it immediately made me feel bad#DONT FEEL BAD IF YOU PICKED IT i put it there#i just realized its not really a helpful metric to me at all!#im making the comic either way!#so i just want to gague interest. disinterest doesnt do much for me. you can come and go as you please!#just wanting to retain readers as much as possible but without losing them due to taking too long#ahhhh the balance of marketing. a beautiful beast she is.#anyways yeah hoping to launch like about as tta is ending#or like at LEAST a prelaunch page by then#im also not intending for the prelaunch page to be like. announced...#moreso just a link i append on art for the series!#just so when a drawing of zagan gets 500 notes#people who are interested in what hes from can. see that...#anyways. sorry i haven't been posting work is wild im going 70+ hours a week again i am so tired#not much time to draw non work stuff#im hanging on by a thread of having multiple projects i can bounce between again#and sometimes thats this one! so heres the results of some mental health work variety#we were legion#polls#sorry for the instant repost. in my defense. i am exhausted.#i can not wait until im making a different comic that i can do a fucking. normal ass schedule with#where im not every week gasping for breath in some kind of bad at swimming metaphor.#anyways if youre not interested dont tell me. it doesnt matter to me. no offense but i just dont wanna hear it.#i want to make the comic and my audience as much as i love you all is not going to have any control over what i do with my art#im gonna make this comic if i only get it done on weekends after getting home from the fuckin movie theater#i am not working for webtoon again wnd im not forcing myself into the dirt for comics again#but im also never gonna stop making them. just need to build a healthier relationship!#FUCK I MADE IT A ONE DAY POLL.
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regressing to my worst teenage traits but also being in one of the best places w my mental health at the same time is insane. like insane insane. whats fucking going on.
#2am still awake long shower hungry asf not depressed avoidant ASF#i know why all these things but jesus its a trip#im serious if i dont get to write tomorrow im going to blow this building up#and im NOT gonna be able to write tomorrow bc we have fuckass guests coming over#meaning my ma will lose her shit at me for 8 hours then the house will be loud as all fuck for another 6#whatever. im not even cranky guys im so chill and doing awesome#maybe i can go to the library if its open and wr- wait i forgot where i was posting this nvm#if my mate doesnt end up hosting nye ill also be blowing the building up and kms#i need to get the fuck out of this house for a night im deadly serious
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Added new decorations to my desk area
#so the story behind the printed 2nie is that i had 30 cents in my account and a colored print out cost 24 cents#yeah i got ripped off but i was about to lose that money entirely so#megop lunchables on my walls#im moving this with me when i get married#this shit is gonna be framed and put in the living room#did i tell you about my brand new plan? im gonna go look for my future spouse in a gunpla hobby store#its perfect. i show them pictures of my builds. they call me a stupid fuck. i offer to buy them materials. and then we marry
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Last arcane episode ever..... here we fucking go....
#50 MINUTES YEAAAAHHH!! IM SO GLAD THEY HAVE BEEN GETTING LONGER THERE WAS NO WAY!!!#the last drop no..... YEEEEEEEEEEES EKKO!!!!!! OH MY GOOOOOD YEEEEEEEES always a dance with you OOOOOOOOHHHHH she even has the same hair 😭#is she gonna build the new zaun for isha.... like vander wanted for vi and powder.... 😭😭😭 with ekko 😭😭😭#watching jinx kill herself over and over is something else that was so funny.... im sorry but ajdkansk#WHATS WITH THOSE CUTS WHATS GOING ON.... WDYM WE ARE MEANT TO LOSE THIS FIGHT??? IN THE FUTURE HE SAW RIGHT???#OH ITS THAT GIRL VI IS CARRYING OMG BUT SHE IS LOOKING FOR JINX!!! NOOO SHE FUCKING DIEEED AMBESSA IS A BEAST!!! DID THEY GET CAIT???#VANDER NOOOO OOOH ITS VIKTOR TOO!!ITS OOOOOOVER maddie being there still..... a consensual workplace relationship... cait....#LORIS!!!! VIIIIIIIIIIIII caitlyn looks so good..... and vi too.... but did they run out of armors.... the guy who left his family DIED TOO!!#caitlyn that was so hot.... they got her.... MADDIE!!!! WHAT THE FUUUUUUCK I THOUGHT THAT WOULD NOT EEEEEVER HAPPEN!!! AK WITH HER OWN GUN!#OH MY GOD MEL!!! MADDIE EXECUTED FOR HER CRIMES!!!! i know people are cheering!!! JINX ON HER BLIMP!!! the egg was a distraction.....#jayce be ready for your divorce.... THE HALO!!! THE VOICE!!! his voiced softened when he said to see you omg... SEVIKA NOOOOOOOOO#cait and mel joining forces to maximize their joint (literal) slay against ambessa.... and vi and jinx vs vander.... cruel#beef squashed..... no way she died????? omg... we havent seen caits left side.... and she was bleeding.... one fear. VIKTOR IS SO TALL!!!#how does it feel to look up jayce.... also jinx saying they are always together 🥺🥺 they are flying again.... omg jinx looks so scared...#OH NOOOOOO SEE CAIT HURT HER EYEE viktor saying they want better lives but emotion clashes with reason after a season of just that.... omg#series thesis.... this is actually so meta if i may say so.... vander and silco.... jinx and vi and the rocket... cait and ambessa....#and finally jayce saving viktor.... and jayce searching for the arcane after he was saved as a kid.... all of it..... ALL OF IT....#THE BOY SAVIOR!!!! VIKTOR IS BACK!!!! HE WANTS HIS PARTNER BACK OMG#YES THE MAGE IS VIKTOR!!!! OH MY GOOOD!!! ONLY YOU CAN SHOW ME THIS! CAITVI FUCKED ON SCREEN AND SOMEHOW THIS IS GAYER!!!#JAYCE!!! YOU ARE ALRIGHT!!! EKKO MADE THAT WITH AN INVERSION OF JAYCES RUNE!! OF COURSE!!! THE WTO MEN AND THE ANOMALY!!!#they are literally adam and steve... VI OMG!!!! SHE CANT TAKE IT NOOOOOO JINX AND VANDER!!!! NOOOO EKKO ALONEEEE NOOOO#SEVIKA COUNCIL MEMBER!!! CAIT GAVE HER HER SEAT!!! AND SINGED AND HIS DAUGHTER!!! MEL WHAT THE HELL!!! BACK TO NOXUS???#caitlyn seeing that jinx escaped through the air ducts... yeah..... she is on that blimp#can you believe we ended arcane with two happy lesbians..... like everything went to hell jayce and viktor saved it and disappeared....#through it all one thing remained.. two lesbians in love <3 can we get an applause for two lesbians in love.... they made a band about this#(love of lesbian)#talking tag#watching arcane#watching arcane season 2#you know towards the end the characters looked a lot more like normal 3d animated... idk how to explain it
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they are recounting the votes tomorrow... I swear if vitézy wins..💀 crazy how its up to dumb peoples votes..
NOOO OH MY GOD PLEASE. I CANT FUCKING GO THROUGH THIS AGAIN. the fucking physical reaction my body went through when i read this made me understand what "összeszorult a szíve" really means
edit apparently they're only counting the invalid votes which is only 25,000 but given that the difference between them was THREE HUNDRED VOTES.... oh god. ohhh.my god. at least they'll count those quickly.
#karigeri will stay winning or I'm literally blowing up this entire building. please for fucks sake please#AND I WONT EVEN BE IN BUDAPEST TOMORROW SO I'LL BE ALL ON MY OWN. WAITING FOR VITÉZY TO LOSE#i got mail!#please im gonna DIEEEE
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my 2 favorite tops dont fit me anymore i think i might cry
#shut up sender#gonna talk about weight and stuff in the tags so this is your warning#ive been gaining weight on T and like body image wise it's been fucking with me but the clothes thing is making me lose it#dude i cant just buy 2 new 60€ button downs whenever i want#i spent such a long time building up my personal wardrobe and for what. nothing fits me anymore.#im slowly reverting back into the hoodie 24/7 look i had in high school i hate it i hate it i hate it#and like on top of that i also feel guilty for wanting to lose the extra weight#because like to my brain thats obviously just me being a self-hating fat person which is worse than killing puppies#im supposed to be more confident than that. i get good grades in therapy why cant i be doing great about myself all the time.#but noooo sender always has to be sad about something. look at this guy. nothings ever good enough for it.#so yeah that might have something to do with why ive been feeling like shit lately huh
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discord had a free nitro trial so i immediately snagged it - and i got a free genshin redeem code ... and i updated it JUST yesterday. amazing
#update on my goal to grab yelan - i forgot my pity is so fucking low (my last history page was already showing shenhe HELP)#I GOTTA BUILD THE PITY UP FUFCKFUCXFKUXUFX#AND IM ON 5050 SO UHHHH AHHAAAAAA#but i actually dont mind if i lose 5050 BECAUSE i hope its diluc WHY DONT I HAVE DILUC YET ACTUALLY CAN WE TALK ABOUT THAT#if i have jean i need diluc OKAY#and 5050 loss could be used to grab. focalor maybe#by the way i am not gonna check the fontain archon quest im just grinding for fun so dont expect me infodumping or smth...#🍀 jil plays genshin
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i think i accidentally paraglided myself into an end-game quest of totk this is me accidentally falling off a roof into the ganon fight while trying to see how high i could climb in botw all over again. i havent even done the start of game quests yet or gotten any of the sages KFJDSJKGH
#i was like#im gonna see if i can use this wing thing to get into that cloud over there there's islands in there i wanna see#and then i botched that and got yeeted off the island without my flight contraption but somehow managed to stamina potion my way in#and then when i landed i was like#i cant see shit here#fuck it#blooms arent helping either i obviously havent done something i needed to do before coming here#like when i hot air ballooned into the water temple island but couldnt do the quest because i needed to tell sidon where a water bridge was#and i had no idea where that was so i was like fuck it i'll fly myself up#but anyway i was on the island in the storm and was like fuck it im just gonna jump off and go do other quests then no point being here#and then i just HAPPENED to jump off the island right into the hidden shrine#so i did the shrine#and then i was looking around and there was a goddess statue and i had enough orbs so i was like yeah sure i'll get another heart#and then i saw the doors#and i hit open without really thinking#and i just HAPPENED TO NOW HAVE EXACTLY THE RIGHT AMOUNT OF HEARTS TO OPEN IT#I DIDNT THINK IT WOULD ACTUALLY OPEN WHEN I SAW IT WAS ONE OF THOSE HEART DOORS I WAS LIKE FUCK IM GONNA LOSE MY HP#BUT I LIVED AND IT OPENED BECAUSE I HAD THE EXACT AMOUNT BECAUSE I JUST GOT ANOTHER HEART#and now im at the factory building what i accidentally read was an end game mecha#i have ONE battery charge thing#i havent even gotten more of the charges#i barely even made it to the location#im KJHFDKSJHGJ#debating if i make this or go do other stuff rn#i got one of the legs but#FHJGHFDLKHJ
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...
#ya kno those days where its like. nothings wrong but if anything changes unexpectedly i will lose#my fucking mind. the threads holding me back from having a total freakout meltdown are old and frayed#my brain needs to shut thr fuck up is what im saying#ive got thr hysteria wah >:-[#i swear to christ. if i have to fucking drive to the other uni tomorrow#me via emails should i pick things up tomorrow? should i dedicate my fucking weekend to making sure things work right and then roll that#straight into 2weeks of watering schedule hell? is that i thing i should do?#i mean at least there wouldnt b ppl there bc spring break but ay the bitterness. im full of black bile#i hate it here. and i cant stop#im being so dramatic. jesus christ. i fucked up my timesheet from like a month ago and have to fill out a sheet to fix it. it just makes#me want to lay on the floor and wail like a toddler. its fucking hard enough to get my brain to fill out my timesheets. and i just streight#up dont fill out reimbursement sheets bc idk money stuff is so upsetting for me to think abt i would rather just take the loss#just so i dont have to think abt it. how much money have i lost in that way? best not to think abt it#my fucking time sheets r a lie anyway. i used to do like 10hr days 6days a week while a part time employee after i got my masters#bc it took them like 6months to hire me and itd like wtf else am i gonna do with my time#and that is how u build resentment. no one makes me do these things. its just how it has to be according to the fucking annoying rules in#my brain. terrible and irrational and annoying. i just wanna leave#and i do have to fucking drive tomorrow. cool cool cool#and i have to wait for my boss to approve comments so i can submit this paper and idk how long yhstll take or when itll happen#bc she was doing field work until apparently 9pm yesterday idk whats happening but im supposed to meet with her tomorrow#but i dont wanna. like whats the point. i can find things to do and meeting just makes me feel bad bc im just tired and sick of this#and shes so nice and enthusiastic and i just cant match thst energy anymore. she texted me last week at like 8pm to ask how i was#and i was like ??? what do u want from me? what did i fuck up that made it obvious im not ok?#and she said she was just interested in how i was so i was like ok im fine. no elaborate bc like what do u want from me? i dont understand#but idk shes got a lot to deal with bc she moved schools this semester so her life is probably infinitly more stressful than mine rn#im just laying in a field of burnout and i wanna leave but i have to wait at least 4-5 months#whatever i need to get a bunch of materials together for an undergrad bc i said id give her advice abt reaching out for a masters#bleh im tired and sad. its probably in part hormones bc my body hates me rip#whatever. itll b fine. one more project to check off the list#unrelated
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Winter has begun.
And it. Is. Angery
#when winter officially started on Dec 21 it was still warm#but as soon as we hit the reset button....#COLD#ICE#EVERYONE IS FUCKING STUPID AGAIN (my mom was doing routine grocery shopping while all hell broke lose*)#*she's a true hero#idk if anyone watches nationwide news but like#the south is getting hit by BAD winter weather lol#pray for your Poor brothers and sisters down south. we really in for it#at least I'm in a building with better insulation... and more food#if im gonna freeze. at least im with my family lol#its been spitting ice slush sonce 2AM#oh! My mom helped me find a way to keep my CPU from hitting 90°C#the fan is on the bottom of the laptop and like... it gets blocked by the desk and I really don't want to replace it#i need to check the fans for dust when I get the tools#theres like. an exhaust on the top... but like... it only offs so much heat#i needed airflow under the laptop#weeeeeeee
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potential tmi but im so fucking tired of pissing backyard hose strength cold water out of my asshole and getting little surprise radio wave ear pulses every 30 seconds just give me my goddamn medicine that i have a refill for ON FILE and AVAILABLE. like my pharmacy fully requested another one too when it wouldn’t show up. bro why are you telling me that the motherfucker who prescribed me this medication for THREE YEARS can’t fill it because some gp i saw literally one time for a physical TWO YEARS AGO wrote a script too what the hell man. this has literally never been a problem in any of the MULTIPLE TIMED i have asked for refills and renewals since then. i dont even know who you are ive never talked to you before in my life. if youre his nurse you should have my fucking information in front of you! if youre responding to me! to see what i’m talking about! or just let me talk to my fucking doctor im so tired of being in pain
#i have an appointment in like 5 hours but im OVER IT#ITS BEEN MONTHS IVE BEEN TRYING TO FIX THIS FOR MONTHS#i know youre supposed to be friendly with nurses but i swear im about to fucking fight i am asking you for HELP#‘help me please i take this to walk and not be in constant pain’ ‘no sorry :)’#im gonna lose my shit you are UNIQUELY QUALIFIED TO FIX THIS YOU HAVE THE MOTHER FUCKING AUTHORITY#like i know this is how the system works and has been working but it’s getting to me really hard rn#the straw that breaks you and all that#and like im fine. okay? it’s whatever. i’ll live. i’ve been suffering but i’ll live. some people fucking cant and what happens to them#it’s like all the rage ive been building up about the people who brush off my mom’s health is finally overflowing#because its been years of watching her go through bullshit after bullshit#and now it’s better but goddamn if it’s still not fixed#time to take a nap i guess and hope i dont sleep too long#fatigue do also be a symptom and it shows. unfortunately so is insomnia but we dont need to think about that too hard right now#fuckingggg zap zap zap goes the brain#fwoom fwoom fwoom goes the nerves#whoosh whoosh whoosh goes the pain in your shoulder#clap clap clap goes luigi#i need another one to drop so fucking bad#better yet the whole system can go and NOBODY HAS TO GET HURT OR DIE ANYMORE#PEOPLE CAN GET FUCKING HEALTHCARE
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#loving and losing is the hardest thing i ever had to do in my life#it was such a complicated relationship but FUCK were the good times FUCKING GREAT#i cant believe i EVER wanted to fall in love lol stewpid girl#AND I WAS REPULSED BY HIM WHEN WE MET#fuck this is crazy crazy difficult#i CANNOT WAIT to be happier without him#he was gonna be an english teacher while you were gonna be a professional#i just cant wait to be over thisssssssssss#i learned soooooo many valuable things from meeting him thats the thing#like this whole aman saga has been extremely character building#if i ever date again im gonna do it so differently#every relationship is complicated#i never ever said fuck you or i hate you or youre ugly or i wish you died#it was worth saving#the distance and his upbringing really came out#trust me our issues were much less worse than other couples#i bought him this criterion bluray#he doesnt watch movies anymore either hes seeing someone else or is depressed as shit#i feel like if he was seeing someone else they would watch movies together? OVERTHINKING ALERT#ofc the IDIOT unfollowed me#when this semester ends#im going to do SOMETHING#IF I WAS ABLE TO HAVE SUCH A GREAT CONNECTION WITH HIM THEN I AM CAPABLE OF CONNECTION YAYYY#if i had a time machine my life would be fucking perfect#yeah yeah he has flaws dont we all!#this current misanthrope thing i have going fucking sucks#THBT
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I’m not okay I’m not okay I’m not okay
#rings of power spoilers#this EP#DOOMED TO DIE GOD DAMNIT#GOD DAMN YOU#SCREAMING CRYI G THROWING UPPPPP#im gonna throw bricks#I’m gonna tear down a building with my own bare hands#it was so good but FUCK#disclaimer this is not a red-flag type post I am actually okay#I’m just LOSING IT over this gd episode
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i am Sufferign
#why do i have an ant infestation on top of the roach infestation on top of the buildinh flooding on top of the broken laundry room on top o-#im gonna lose it#i cannoT figure out where the ants r coming from for the life of me#and the traps and poisons arent working and neither r the traditional methods / home remedy options#i keep finding them iN MY BED#im gonna scream#if i have to wake up to ants on my body one more time i s2g im gonna lose my entire shit#AGDHSHSB#this building is hell#i so badly want to leave#but cannot afford to#and its almost impossible to make management actually do pest control#and even if they did i'd have to take my dog to a motel for 48 hours and i cant afford that either#fuck. my. entire. lifE.
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our neighbors are from fucking hell they've been pouring oil down their drains and got the whole 2nd floor flooded and destroyed the laundry room below them so now we have to go to the laundromat and its over $5 for a single load just to wash....
#i have never hated anyone more than i hate them#they cant control their dog and lets it piss all over the hallway and break everything outside#their daughter literally has not showered since they moved in like a year ago and it makes the entire building smell like a corpse#they flood their apartment constantly and just push the water into the hallway and down the stairs and refuse to clean it up#oh and the dog they cant control constantly charges at ours and then they get mad at us when we tell them to control it#our dog has never disliked Anyone but hates that dog because they literally do not give a fuck about it#they keep it crated 24/7 except when they take it out to piss in the hallway and shit in the alley (which they also dont clean up)#like they need to get out theyre dead ass ruining the homes of 12 other families with their bullshit and im fucking sick of it#idk how you want to live but you share this space with 50 other people grow the fuck up and do the bare fucking minimum#so we dont have to be homeless again because you destroyed our building#liam gets personal#liam gets venting#tw venting#im just#so angry#all the work weve done to keep a roof over our heads and its quite literally falling apart because of one singular family#im gonna mclose it if they dont get evicted#“oh liam no one should lose their home!” theyre not gonna have a place soon here anyway if the building gets condemned#this place is one wall scratch away from being bulldozed bc the owner sunk way too much money into it just for it to have to be fixed again#and im not exaggerating. our other neighbor scratched her wall when she was being moved into another unit and they threatened to evict her#and all of us. but this shit across the hall can continue???????????????? make it make sense
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