#so im genuinely not lying or playing dumb

[evermoredeluxe]

Do you ever reblog anyone else? I always see people post stuff and an hour later you post the same thing. That’s not fair to always take other people’s ideas.

wait what im not trying to steal anyone’s content. i usually come on here, say what i want, scroll specific blogs, and then go away because sometimes my dash can be alkjhdgshs

anyway, if you think i posted something that is a copy, im happy to rb that person’s post. send it to me bestie!!!

[c0ffeejelly1]

When you call him your husband

Multiple character headcannons

Authors note: IM SORRYYYY I GOT LAZYYY but it’s only bc I’m writing a smutty fic rn which will be out when I decide for it to be out. So take these crumbs and be thankful.

Warnings: None. Just infatuated boys ig…

It was your typical Sunday movie night, a comforting routine before the reality of work awaited you both the next day.

You and your boyfriend had a tradition of keeping the night lively, so why not indulge in your favorite takeout?

“Hey babe? Where should we order from?” you called out from your cozy spot on the couch.

He peeked out from the cabinet, taking a moment to think before he replied,

“I’m easy; you know what I like.” He walked over, setting down two wine glasses.

“You wanna drink wine? It better not have alcohol, I’ve got work tomorrow y’know?”

He rolled his eyes playfully as he settled next to you.

“I’m not that childish…”

“Right, right. Anyway, quiet now; I’m ordering Chinese.”

He waited patiently, the sound of your phone ringing filling the space as he focused on pouring wine for both of you.

“Oh, and can I get the…”

His thoughts drifted until you gently poked him, signaling for his order. He quickly chimed in, and you continued,

“Ah..yeah, Sorry about that. My husband would like the special fried rice, no peas, please. That’s it, thank you! Bye!”

The type to not even realise it

You wore that familiar mischievous grin, the one that always hinted at your scheming, but when you glanced at your boyfriend, he seemed completely unfazed.

Instead, he was busy scrolling through movie options, casually asking for your thoughts.

..is he deaf or something?

You had even stressed the "husband" part, and this was his response?

You would be lying if you said you didn’t feel disappointed, and sort of offended!

With a scoff, you leaned back on the couch, arms wrapped around your legs.

This caused him to look at you.

“Baby, you alright?”

“Peachy.” you replied, though you were anything but.

How could he not have picked up on what you said? You had made it so clear, and now he was unintentionally ruining your plans.

You let out a heavy sigh, making sure he heard it.

“…what did I do now?”

“Oh nothing..”

The truth was, that was exactly why you felt upset—because he had done nothing. No reaction whatsoever.

But maybe it was just a misunderstanding; perhaps he hadn’t heard you.

Maybe you just needed to rephrase it.

“I heard this movie was good, you wanna watch it?”

“Sure, I’d love to, hubby.”

he reaches his arm out pulling you closer to him.

“Cool, I’ve actually had it on my mind for quite some time”

Okay this is just stupid.

There was NO way he hadn’t noticed your earlier comment.

It was painfully obvious, and it felt cringeworthy that he missed it. Maybe he was just playing dumb.

“Babe.”

“Yeah?”

“Can you repeat what I said like 2 seconds ago?”

“Um, okay..you said, ‘sure I’d love to, hubby’…” He blinked at you, clearly confused. “why do I need to repeat that?”

“Oh, just curious. Can you say the last word of that sentence?”

“Hubby?”

Suddenly, it clicked for him, and you could see the blush creeping onto his cheeks.

“Oohh…”

“Yeah, oh.”

“Y-you called me your husband, huh?”

“Yep, I did.”

“That’s cute, but I’m still your boyfriend, baby.”

Why do you bother yourself with such a slow man?

characters: SERIZAWA, akashi, murasakibara, kuroko, giyuu, rengoku, nendou, kageyama, iwaizumi, akaashi, ushijima, geto, nanami, BEELZEBUB, belphegor, barbatos, TODOROKI, iida (anyone you like)

The type to stare at you confused

The frick you just call him?

He’s genuinely very confused and making it painfully obvious with the look he’s giving you.

“Who the hell you calling husband?”

Why did you just call him your husband?

He’s not your husband.

He’s not anyone’s husband!

He’s not even married!

At least, not yet… wait, are you actually thinking of proposing to him?! The very idea sends a jolt of panic through him.

He can’t let you take the lead on that!

Sure, ordering food might feel like a proposal in some bizarre universe, but if you were to pop the question instead of him, it would be a blow to his manhood , and he needs that manhood intact!

“I’m not your husband.” He insists.

“I didn’t say you were my husband”

Girl y’know damn well

“Y-yes you did! I just heard you say it!” His voice rises slightly, a hint of desperation creeping in as he tries to make sense of the situation.

“Maybe it was the wind..” you say with a casual shrug, lifting the wine glass from the table and taking a sip, as if the whole conversation is nothing more than a lighthearted joke.

He shoots you a glare, his brows furrowing in annoyance. “Stop messing with me.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about…” you reply, feigning innocence, but the playful smirk on your lips gives you away.

“Oh, you know exactly what I mean! Y-you, I—ugh.”

“Look, it was just a slip of the tongue,” you say, trying to diffuse the tension, but the glimmer of mischief in your eyes suggests you’re enjoying this far too much.

“A slip of the tongue? You just casually referred to me as your husband. That’s not something you just slip into conversation.”

“Maybe I was just testing the waters,” you tease, leaning back into the couch, your expression playful yet challenging.

“Woman, you better watch it before I test yours”

“What does that even mean?”

“You wanna find out?”

You find out in the end yippee.

characters: dimple, midorima, AOMINE, SANEMI, aren, saiki, tsukishima, UKAI, kuroo, suna, toji, megumi, lucifer, satan, solomon, BAKUGO (anyone you like)

The type to be REALLY giddy about it

Honestly, he could have made an effort to contain his excitement a bit. But like a puppy with its tail wagging in pure joy he’s just so incredibly thrilled to hear you refer to him as your husband.

The way his eyes light up at the sound of those words is almost infectious, and you can’t help but smile at his enthusiasm.

“Baby..” he start, his voice a mix of eagerness and anticipation.

He’s completely lost in the moment, no longer focused on choosing a movie; that thought has faded to the background, overshadowed by the warmth of your connection.

“Yeah?”

“Say it again.”

His request is almost a whisper, but the intensity behind it is palpable.

He’s practically glowing, leaning in closer, invading your personal space with an eagerness; the way he looked at you, with those wide, adoring eyes that make your heart flutter.

“…say what again?" you tease, a playful smirk dancing on your lips.

You know exactly what he wants, but you can’t resist the urge to draw it out a little longer.

“Y’know..come on, say it baby, please?”

His voice is laced with a mix of desperation and delight, and you can see the way his cheeks flush with excitement.

It’s as if the very idea of being called your husband fills him with a joy that he can hardly contain.

You take a moment, letting the silence stretch between you, enjoying the way he leaned in even closer, his breath warm against your skin.

Eventually, you relent, your heart swelling with affection.

“You mean me calling you my husband?”

“God, I love the sound of that,” he breathes, his smile widening as he pulls you into a tight embrace burning his face in between your neck inhaling your scent.

“You should call me that all the time baby..”

“Y’know… I could if we got married.”

Stop putting ideas in this man’s head.

characters: kise, RENGOKU (YES TWICE.), tengen, TORITSUKA, eren, connie, jean, reiner, nishinoya, oikawa, BOKUTO, tendou, atsumu, gojo, asmodeus, DIAVOLO, ITTO (anyone you like)

The type to break. Like he’s not moving anymore..

Pause.

What did you just say?

The words hang in the air, heavy with unspoken implications.

“Huh?”

His mind is practically overloading at the moment, trying to process what exactly you had uttered from your mouth.

It’s as if time has momentarily frozen, and he’s caught in a loop, replaying your statement over and over.

Is his brain playing tricks on him? Surely, he heard you right, didn’t he?

The weight of the moment presses down on him, and he can’t shake the feeling that something monumental has just been said.

Is it just him, or is the temperature rising in this room?

The air feels thick, almost suffocating, and beads of sweat begin to form on his brow.

Is he coming down with something?

Why is he feeling so flushed, his cheeks burning as if he’s just sprinted a mile?

“You…” he stammers, searching for the right words, but they elude him.

“Babe?”

Silence hangs in the air, a palpable tension that seems to stretch on indefinitely.

“…Baby?”

Still, no answer. The worry in your voice deepens, in response to his silence.

“Dude, are you alright?” You inquire again, giving him a gentle shake, hoping to break through the fog that seems to envelop him.

He doesn’t even glance your way, lost in his own thoughts, wrapped up in a world of his own.

You can’t help but feel a twinge of concern—did calling him your husband really trigger all of this?

“Tomorrow.”

“The hell you talking about?”

“We’re getting getting married tomorrow.”

“..what.”

He’s lost all sense of time because of you.

characters: reigen, kagami, kaidou, armin, REINER (YESS AGAIN.), hinata, osamu, CHOSO, yuji, MAMMON, leviathan, izuku, denki, tamaki, childe (anyone you like)

[obsessivestar]

'What If It's All A RomCom?' - a Ted Nivison x Reader (smut)

{{-Another smut chapter folks, this one is gRAPHIC IM SORRY or maybe I'm not sorry idk. Anyways, go read Chapter 9 before this one if you want the full context. Otherwise, enjoy again lmao.-}}

//General Warnings: 18+ Fanfic (ESP THIS ONE NO MINORS GO AWAY RN), Reader is implied to be afab and under 5'5

Chapter Warnings: HUGE DOM TED, Reader receiving and giving, humiliation, he smacks u wit it LOL, mix of degradation and praise, gettin' it from the back hhh graphic smut\\

Word count: 5.9k FUCK IM SORRY

☆▪︎▪︎▪︎Taglist!▪︎▪︎▪︎☆

@k-k0129 & @callsign-scully

☆▪︎Love ya to death!▪︎☆

Chapter 10: You're Pathetic

I keep my hands on my doorknob as I turn towards Ted, who's leaning against my closed closet door, still wearing the formal fit he had kept on all day. I can feel my heartbeat pick up in my chest, trying to steady my breathing so I didn't look too excited. "Y'know, I watched Tanner walk right into his room earlier.." I give Ted a small little smile, moving away from my door slowly. I don't know why, but I felt nervous. Genuinely nervous.

"Yeah? Waitin' for everyone to turn in?.." Ted grins at me, slipping one of his hands into his pocket. He's standing at the entire other side of the room, yet I feel like he could pounce on me whenever he wants.

"I just wanted to make sure you wouldn't use the same excuse 3 times in a row.." I let out a quiet chuckle, crossing my arms in front of me. I could see how heavily I was breathing with how much my chest was visibly rising and falling; I was trying to hide it. "So...why are you in here this time?"

Ted doesn't answer right away. He steps away from my closet door, slipping his other hand into his pocket as he steadily approaches me. "Because you want me to be." He answers, a mischievous chuckle leaving him. "Because...you've been starin' at me all day, and I know why.."

"I have not been staring all day..", I scoff defensively, turning my head away from him momentarily. I tried to appear relaxed, but my stomach was welling up anxiously, making me shift my crossed arms a bit.

"Maybe not all day, but I've been payin' attention.." Ted purrs and continues to step towards me, keeping his dark eyes fixed on me. I try to take a step back but I'm stopped by my heel slightly pressing against the baseboard of my wall. I didn't realize I was so close to it already.

"Have you?.." My voice becomes softer, quieter; with a hint of sarcasm to mask my nerves.

"Oh, I have. I've been watching you closely today.." Ted hums, sneakily moving even closer. "I saw where your eyes went when I stepped out, I saw the way you closed your legs on that sofa, I saw you look at my lips again when I had you up on the kitchen counter and I know you were checking me out when you thought I wasn't looking.."

At this point, Ted is about 4 feet away from me. Any closer and he could touch me. I've nearly backed myself up against the wall, a gentle blush along my cheeks. Besides Ted's talking, it's so quiet. Sometimes if you listen well enough, you can hear little things coming from everyone's room, like Joe's watching TikTok's or the sound of Dan's keyboard, but not tonight. It's dead quiet. "I have no idea what you're talking about, Ted.." I speak out carefully, focusing on my words so I don't stutter them out. I could feel my body shivering, tightening my crossed arms to keep myself grounded.

"Uh-uh. You're not lying your way out of this one, princess.." Ted grins at me, taking yet another careful step towards me. "I know what's goin' on in that pretty little head of yours.." I watch as his hand reaches out to finally touch me, his hand moving under my chin to hold it up slightly. I keep my eyes locked on him, my smile faltering a little. God, he's so much taller than me. He towers over me, absolutely towers over me. It makes me feel small. "You can play dumb all you want, but you're nervous as fuck. I can see it." Ted chuckles at me, lightly gliding his tongue along the ends of his top teeth.

"I'm not nervous.." I reply softly, giving him a flirty smile and loosening my arms to let them rest at my sides.

"You're lying to me, (Y/N)..."

"Oh, I'm lying now?"

"Mhmm."

"What makes you think I'm lying?"

"Because your hands are shaking.."

I can practically feel my heart drop in my chest, a heavy blush spreading along my face when he calls my bluff. My eyes widen a little and I can't think of a single excuse or comeback. Next thing I know, he grabs me by my shoulders and pins me up against the wall behind me, a grunt escaping me from the gentle but firm collision. He's so strong. He moves me so easily.

"E-Easy.." I stammer and try to move my hands to hold onto Ted's arms, but he moves faster than me. He grabs both of my wrists and pins them up above my head, a gasp leaving me in response. I never perceived Ted to be such a dominant guy, but he wears it...rather nicely.

"This is what you wanted, yeah?" Ted grins mischievously at me. "Missed being beneath me?.."

"Fuck off.." I purr back with a mocking grin, raising my chin up at him. "You're the one that snuck into my room. Again. You're obsessed with me, Teddy.."

"I'm obsessed with you?" Ted repeats, raising his eyebrows at me before pausing. He let's out a curious hum, his eyes scanning my face. I feel my body tense up when he leans in closer to connect our lips in a gentle, longing kiss. I hear a raspy moan leave Ted's throat in the kiss, pressing his thumbs into the palm of my hands to caress them somewhat.

"You might be right about that.." Ted purrs against my lips, trailing kisses slow along the side of my jaw. "But I think you're obsessed with me, too.."

X▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎X

I try to move my hands to touch him, but his grip is too strong for me to do anything back to him. I just have to take whatever he's doing to me, listen to whatever he's saying to me. I close my eyes, trying to steady my breathing. "In fact, I know you're obsessed with me.." Ted hums, his low voice rumbling in my ear. "I know you still think about that first night, how I touched you...tasted you..." Ted leaves gentle kisses along my skin with every pause, practically locking my whole body against this wall. I could feel my inner thighs getting warm again, causing me to close them a little. "I know you think about my voice ringing in your ear...I know you like how tall I am, how I tower over you, yeah? Ringin' any bells, you little cunt?" He mocks me, lightly nipping at my ear with a snicker. I open my eyes. It hits me. He's repeating everything I told Joe at the stairs yesterday. He heard us. He heard me.

"Y' f-fuckin' kidding me.." I manage to whisper out with a shaky breath, closing my eyes once more when Ted chuckles lowly into my ear.

"'Fraid not, princess. Surprised you didn't say more about me. Sounded like you wanted to.." Ted's hands slowly move down my pinned hands, his body language telling me to stay still. I keep my wrists up against the wall as his hands smooth their way down to my shoulders, slowing along the sides of my breasts before gripping my waist to keep my body close. As his warm touch explores my body, I can't help but move my hands down to rest them on his shoulders, letting out a shaky breath.

"Y'know what I keep thinking about?.." Ted whispers into my ear, one of his hands staying on my waist while the other steadily moves further down my body. He pulls his face away from my neck to look down, his free hand working to unbutton my pants. "How nice you felt to push into...that first time.." He purrs with a mischievous grin, moving a bit of my pants aside to sneak his hand into them, feeling his fingers press against my clothed bud; he knew exactly where it was. I let out a shy gasp, meeting his dark gaze, my grip on his shoulders tightening a little. "Right after I played with this little thing..." Ted speaks again, moving his fingers in a slow, circular motion against my panties. "I grabbed your waist and slid riiiight in, so easily...you remember that?.."

The little movements he's making against my sensitive nerve makes my body shiver once more. I close my eyes and turn my head with a shaky moan, only to feel his hand move away from my waist to grab my jaw, turning me to him once more. "No no no, look at me. I'm talkin' to you.." Ted scolds me, shaking his head a little. "I asked you a question, didn't I?" His fingers move a little to the side, slowly pulling my panties aside to slip between my folds. This was driving me crazy. Just a few words and some carefully placed kisses were enough to make me wet for him again. How he makes me weak so quickly...

"I-I remember.." I whisper with a little nod, a few shaky breaths leaving me. As his fingers continued to tease inside my sensitive folds, I could feel my core begin to react like it was purring, aching for him once more. I could almost, almost feel him inside me again. I'm so warm...

Ted rewards my answer by moving his fingers up my slit to my sensitive bud, his fingers moving in an unbearably slow circle. "Theo.." A quiet moan leaves me and I lean my head back. His touch makes me crazy, I can feel my mind slipping, my judgment being clouded with nothing but pure arousal for Ted. I can still feel his heated gaze on me. He's watching me squirm, I know he is. He's enjoying this.

"There she is...Fuck, I love my name in your voice.." He chuckles lowly at me, almost mockingly so. "You're so fucking cute, I..." He leans his way back down to my neck as he continues to touch me, latching onto my skin with a dark hum. I feel his teeth and his tongue tighten against the skin, a gasp leaving me in response. He's--He's giving me a hickey. Fuck.

I turn my head, catching our figures in a standing mirror. His body against mine, his head in my neck, his hand in my pants...It was a visual I thought I'd only dream about. It made me desire him more. I could feel my legs shaking like crazy, like they were about to give out. He has me right where he wants me, and fuck, I want him too. I need him.

I turn away from the mirror and glance down at him, my hands moving down from his shoulders to smooth along his clothed body. "E-Enough, please, I..." I whimper to him, taking his tie into my hands to pull on it a little. Ted pulls away from my neck, a pleased hum leaving him.

"Mmm, you don't really want me to stop, do you?.." Ted asks with a low purr, his finger circling my clit a little faster. My body shivers once more, my chest beginning to rise and fall at a quicker pace.

"F-Fuck no, don't you dare stop.." I moan with a shaky chuckle, looking at his tie in my grasp. "I-I just--fffuck...I-I want to move. My legs, I-I feel like--mmfhh--I'm about to fall.." Every couple words are interrupted by a needy moan, biting the corner of my lower lip when I finally manage to complete the sentence.

"Aww, you gonna lose your balance?.." Ted laughs a little at me, moving his finger back and forth along my clit. "Mm? Your legs gettin' a little shaky on me? You that desperate?" He knows exactly how to touch me, and it's making me lose it. I lean my head back, close my eyes and let go of his tie as I moan out, a whimper escaping me as I grip his loose buttoned shirt. I try to close my legs the best I can, but his hand is in the way.

"Say you want me, and I'll move you.." Ted speaks it like a command, a confident smile permanent etched along his lips at how helpess I was in front of him. "Tell me you want me..."

I couldn't fight it even if I want to.

"I want you..." I whine a little with a slight pout. "God I want you, okay? I can--I can still feel you, I need you.."

"Look at me."

"Ted please, I.."

"Look...at me."

A shaky breath leaves me as I open my eyes, meeting his dark gaze with a shy little frown. He looks so sure of himself, so confident and in control. I'm the complete opposite, all because of what he does to me.

"I...I.." With his eyes so intensely on me, I find it hard to speak clearly. He raised his brows at me, as if to say 'go on', but I'm borderline speechless. Anytime I feel I have the ability to speak, he moves his fingers and I gasp or moan instead. This is maddening. It's just three words. "I-I...w...want you.." I'm finally able to muster them up, keeping my gaze on him as I whimper for him. I see his eyes darken with desire and he laughs at me again.

"Oh, that's pathetic.." Ted shakes his head a little, finally removing his hand from my pants to grab my waist with both hands. "Three simple words, and that's how you let them out? That's real pathetic.."

"J-Just take me on the fucking bed already.." I curse at him with a glare, giving his shirt a good tug. I was getting fed up with the teasing, I needed him, bad. That little lash out made Ted's eyes flare at me a little, a grin spreading along his face.

"Ooh, that's better.."

I feel his hands move under me to swiftly lift me up into the air, making me wrap my legs around his waist. I instinctively move my oej hands to his shoulders, a surprising gasp leaving me. It was so easy for him to pick me up. I know we had talked about it before, but my weight was nothing to him. My god.... With his hands holding me up from my ass, he pushes his body against mine and kisses my lips passionately. I quickly kiss him back and wrap my arms around his neck, an excited moan leaving me when he turns us away from the wall to start moving to my bed, grasping and picking at the fabric of his shirt. He nearly slams me down onto the edge of the bed, keeping his hips against mine as he works at removing my shirt first, once again throwing it somewhere in the room. My hands move up into his hair and my nails glide along his scalp, tightening me legs around his hips when he moans into the kiss. I feel him press more against me and my god, he's so hard.

I break away from the kiss to breath, giving him time to move my legs so he could slip my pants down, tugging my panties down with them. He was so hungry for me, I could see it in his eyes. All of that teasing and flirting had been affecting him just as much. He's just as desperate for me. It makes me even more excited for him. I try to sit up to work at removing his clothes, undoing his tie first before he'd stop me, making me lay down again with a grunt.

"No no, not yet, I'm fuckin' hungry first and you're gonna let me eat..." He growls at me, adjusting his loose tie around his neck before latching onto my neck once more, still standing by the edge of the bed as he trails kisses down my naked body, worshipping me like the first night. He eventually has to sit down on his knees to get between my legs. I run my fingers along my upper thighs as his lips move along my breasts and down my stomach, forcing my legs open to feed once more.

Just like before, he's all over me. His tongue can slide into my entrance and taste everything he had teased out of me, pulling me more to the edge of the bed so it was harder for either of us to move. His tongue moved smoothly between my soaked folds, his cold glasses occasionally touching my lower belly once he'd move up to bring attention to my sensitive bud. I watch as he closes his eyes and loses himself deep between my thighs, moaning and panting like it's his drug. Fuck, he's going to condition me to need this every tine.

I don't last as long as I did the first night. I don't even have the chance to warn him, becoming a moaning and whining mess when I finish from his tongue flicking along my warm clit over and over until I reached down and pulled at his hair, hearing him chuckle lowly against me.

"I love making you a fucking mess." He shakes his head, leaving little kisses along my inner thighs. "You get so fucking wet after I eat you out, you know that?" He stands back up and presses two of his fingers against my entrance, toying with it before pushing them into me. The feeling of him moving inside of me was so nice, but not as satisfying as his cock would be. He's once again smiling down at me as he begins to pump his fingers inside of me, his free hand in his pocket once again. "You came faster this time. Am I too much, princess? Is it getting worse? Aww, look at you down there. A fucking mess, aren't you?" He begins mocking me again as I moan for more, moving my knees up a little to try and get him to angle his fingers better. Fuck, he wasn't deep enough. His cock could go deeper.

"T-Teddy, I need more.." I moan softly, trying to push myself against Ted's fingers. His dirty words were dancing around in my head. I was becoming completely his, losing all sense of individuality. Every word and every sound he made just tightened the leash around my neck.

"Mm? These can only go so deep, princess.." Ted hums at me, slowly moving his fingers out of me. "More of what, hmm? Use your words, what do you want from me?.."

I let out a quiet huff, feeling my body shiver when he once again uses his soaked fingers to tease my sensitive clit. The slight overstimulation made my body jolt a little, making it harder to get my words out.

"D-Don't make me say it..." I pouted at him, holding my upper body up by my elbows. Ted starts laughing at me again, shaking his head a little.

"You gonna go shy on me again? You know better than that, right?.." Ted grins at me, spreading his fingers inside my slit to spread my soaked folds. "Wanna use that little mouth for somethin' else then? Hmm?.." Ted moves his hand away from my core to gently grab my chin. I can feel my essence along his fingers, making me shiver a little. His voice was gentle and almost comforting, but the way he was touching me was humiliating. Still holding my chin, Ted makes me sit up at the edge of the bed, looking me over as he moves his fingers to my lips. I open my mouth for him and keep my gaze on him, the unique taste of my essence and Ted's fingers touching my tongue. This may sound odd, but I had never tasted myself before. I can see why Ted gets so lost between my legs, it was sweet. Savory...

"You are so...fucking cute.." Ted purrs at me, watching me suck on his fingers with dark, piercing eyes. "Oooh, I like you like this..."

My eyes glance down to his belt, my breathing picking up in excitement as I reach for it, quickly working at getting it unbuckled. I half-expected Ted to stop me, but he looks just as eager for his pants to be off. The sound of the metal buckle loosening was only making me more aroused, panting as I slid the full belt off of him.

"You are so fucking eager for it, eh?.." Ted chuckles at me, slowly removing his fingers from my mouth to help me remove his pants. "You're so impatient. Easy, baby..." I certainly was impatient, I wasn't afraid to show it. I tugged his boxers down, moving my head back a little when his length suddenly springs out in front of me. Ted laughs at me again, trailing his tongue along his top teeth. Whenever he laughs at me, I feel like he's tightening the collar around my neck even more. He laughs at me like I'm a little pet that's entertaining him. Warm, but sarcastic.

"Is it intimidating? Mm?.." Ted hums with a devious grin, moving his other hand to slink into my hair. I lean a little into his hand with a content sigh, feeling him begin to massage my scalp. At this point, I had truly lost myself, falling deep into my arousal for Ted. I carefully bring his tip to my lips and open my mouth to allow him inside. Ted physically shudders as move my head forward, feeling his shaft slide along my tongue.

"A-Ah, fuck.." Ted let's out a shaky moan, taking a fistful of my hair into his hands once I tighten my lips around him and begin moving my head back and forth. Even with him wrapped in my mouth like this, he was still completely in control of me. His girth was pulsing inside my mouth, a moan leaving me as his tip continuously rubs passed my tonsils. I close my eyes for a moment to focus on my movements, smirking a little when I begin to hear a symphony of panting and moaning from Ted.

"Oh my god, (Y/N)--f-fuck.." He chuckles weakly, giving my hair a nice tug to pull me in closer. I gag a little against him, pulling back briefly to steady myself. God, his size was almost too much for me. "Easy, girl. Easy.." Ted purrs with a little chuckle, moving his grip to the back of my head to pull me in close once more, allowing me to take my time. I moan as his tip touches passed my tonsils again, slowly moving my head back and forth once more. Once I found a smooth rhythm, I was able to adjust to his length and take him in a little deeper, massaging his shaft with my lips and curling my tongue underneath. I began to feel his hips moving against my head, pushing his cock deeper down my throat with every thrust. He keeps a fistful of my hair in his hand, gazing down at me as he fucks my face freely.

"There you go, there you fucking go, yeahhh..." He moans darkly, panting with every thrust he deals. "You look so pretty, baby. I like you with your mouth stuffed--oh god, yes--fucking stuffed like this. Just like this.."

I roll my eyes back and moan against his thick shaft, my own entrance throbbing everytime he slips down my throat. His filthy words will be ringing in my ears for a long while, I'm sure of it. I'll dream of it. I'll beg for it.

I feel his length twitch in my mouth and a shaky, almost nervous sounding moan leaves Ted. For a moment, I expect he's going to finish inside my mouth, but he pulls his length out instead, stifling another moan as his body shudders. He breathes heavily as he gazes down at me, moving his hand from my hair to caress my face again, his thumb rubbing my cheek somewhat roughly.

"Fucking hell...you're a little slut for this, hm?.." Ted chuckles at me mockingly, moving his shaft up to my face to rub his tip against my cheek. A weak moan leaves me, closing my eyes to catch my breath as he rubs himself on me. It was so dehumanizing, but holy fuck, I didn't care. I was so horny for him. Everything he did made it worse. "Yeah, look at you...look at you.." He whispers to himself, resting his length on top of my face with a curious hum. "Is this what you've been thinking about? Hm? You got what you wanted?.." I close one of my eyes when he rests his shaft on my face, opening my mouth somewhat to stick my tongue out at him. He let's out a dark chuckle, lightly smacking his tip along my tongue a few times. "God, you're a little whore, eh? I put on some nice clothes, smack you around a little bit and you'll do whatever I want.."

"Pretty much..." I purr back at him, flicking my tongue against his tip. A pleased hum leaves him at he slips his length away, moving his hands to my chin to guide me to stand up. He keeps his dark gaze on me, glancing down at my lips with another dark chuckle before pulling me into a deep kiss, his hand moving down to wrap itself around my throat. I return the passionate kiss with a needy moan, moving my hands up to unbutton some of the buttons of his shirt. He slips his tongue into the kiss, a growly moan leaving him. My whole body feels hot, my thighs feel tense and I know my core is aching for him, aching for all of him. When he breaks the kiss to speak again, my heart begins to beat out of my chest.

"Turn around for me.."

I feel his grip around my throat tighten a little alongside the command and he's smiling mischievously at me. His pupils are so large with arousal, his eyes mind as well be pitch black. I'm surprised his glasses were still on, but I understood why. He wanted to see everything clearly this time. Last time was spontaneous and passionate. Tonight, everything's deliberate. Calculated. He wants to savour it all. Savour me. Enjoy me, so I do as he says. He let's go of my throat so I can turn around, feeling him hold my waist with one hand and grab the back of my head with the other. He carefully bends me over the bed, making sure we're both positioned comfortably. It's a relatively tall mattress, so my legs can stay on the ground, for now. I can hear his deep breathes over my anxious panting, his warm hand leaving my head to smoothing down my bare back. His free hand leaves my waist and I feel his tip press up against my soaking wet entrance. The anticipation is unbearable. This. This is what I had been waiting for all day. All. Fucking. Day.

The moment I feel him push into me was like I was my soul was ascending out of my body. His length fit inside my entrance like it was always meant to be there. All night I could feel it aching for him, I could feel where it was supposed to be. It was a sensation I had never experienced before, with anyone I had ever been with. With Ted, it's not just that I wanted him, my body needed him, craved him. I couldn't think straight now even if I wanted to, I was in his hands. I let out a long, satisfied moan as he pushes into me completely, leaning my head back a little. I hear him chuckle behind me, his hand moving to hold my waist again. "Oh I know, baby. I know..." Ted purrs, using his other hand to rub my lower back. "I've needed this too. Fuck, I've needed this.."

Ted doesn't start out as gentle as he did the first night. No, he begins working at me immediately. I feel his hips smack against my ass as he thrusts into me, pulling me into his movements by my waist. He's using me like I don't even matter, but I wouldn't have it any other way, not tonight. I keep my head leaned back so he can hear my needy moans for him, my mouth completely hung open. Once again, I don't give a fuck if anyone hears us. He's fucking me like I'm the only girl in the world, I needed it.

"You are so fucking good, princess. Such a fucking good princess..." Ted growls at me as he fucks me roughly, reaching further up to grab my shoulder, moving closer to make his thrusts harder. This was already better than the first night. Something about slapping his shaft on me had made him even wilder, more feral. This was more than I could've hoped for. If every fuck was going to be like this, I'm following him home. I don't give a fuck. This is everything.

"Teddy! Teddy, oh my g--Te-Ted--Teddyyyy" It's nearly impossible to get any other word out that isn't his name. I'm as careful with my volume as I can be. I'm a mess, an absolute mess for this man and I want him to know it. Ted doesn't even have the energy to laugh at me, he's just as lost in this as I am. He keeps smacking his hips roughly against mine, over and over, not once losing the pace or the rhythm. He was practically throbbing inside me, I could feel it. So thick, so deep. I had no way of grabbing him or turning myself around. I had to take it. I wanted to take it. Even when my legs began to shake once again, I kept still for him, letting him hear my desperate cries for him. Just him.

"You really are--ughh--fucking made for me, little cunt..." He groans out, taking both sides of my waist into his hands to pull me in harder and harder. My whole body was surging with pleasure, all I could do was close my eyes and cry for him. It was hard to even understand what I was saying at this rate. I'd cry out his name, I'd moan for his cock, I'd beg for him to move faster. He'd reward my dirty words with a grunt, a spank, a hard thrust, any and all for me. We both became borderline unintelligible, occasionally hearing a growly "Take it. Take it, bitch. You fucking take it." from Ted until I began to feel it all begin to build up in my stomach. My cries become more desperate, his moans becomes louder, his cock massages my sensitive walls and slams into my sensitive core over and over until it all comes undone.

"I'm cumming! I'mcummingi'mcummingi'mcummingi'mcumming!..."

I whimper and whine out for him to hear as I feel my entire body burst with intense pleasure, feeling his hand quickly come up and grab a fistful of my hair to tug it back again. I feel his body lean down against mine, grinding and thrusting against me to make my release even stronger. He wanted to hear everything, he wanted to feel me tighten around him and cry his name. Fuck, did he get it. He got it all. Everything he ever wanted, he could have it.

He slows down his thrusts to allow me to come down from my high, grinding against me like a desperate animal as I moan weakly. It feels like my brain is dancing around consciousness and I realize...he hasn't even finished yet.

"B-Baby, fuck, I'm...I need--I need you. I need more..." He moans against my skin, carefully pulling out of me so he could push me more onto the bed. I'm too weak to try and fight him on this, not that I even wanted to, but fuck was I sore.

"Theo, fuck.." I whimper weakly, my half-open eyes watching as he crawls on top of me. Before I have any time to think, he slips inside my sensitive core again, letting his desperation be known with a relieved moan. "M-My name, f-fuck. My name, again, please...I..." Ted whispers as he begins to fuck me again. I don't have the energy nor the desire to resist, regardless of how sore I am. He's throbbing inside me, fucking me desperately. I wrap my arms and legs around his body and moan out his name for him, our heavy breathing mixing together. He stuffs his face into my neck. Every quick thrust from him sets my body on fire, a slight spark of pain mixing in with the pleasure everytime his hips smack into mine. All the adrenaline was slowly coming down, but Ted wouldn't last much longer, I could feel it. He was moaning so sweetly into my ear, rubbing his sweaty body against mine as his thrusts became more desperate. I moved one of my hands up to run my fingers through his thick hair, caressing the back of his head as I whimper his name. "Theo, Theo, Ohh Theo, yes, yes.."

With just a few more sloppy thrusts, I feel his thick warmth enter me, his body shivering against mine as he empties himself inside me. I close my eyes at the familiar sensation, tightening my legs around him as he grinds the rest out. I'm so full of euphoria and exhaustion, among other things. "Fuuuuuck.." Ted whispers into my ear, slowly pulling out of me with a shaky groan. He pulls away from my neck to look at me, but my exhaustion is hitting me so strongly, I can barely keep my eyes open. Ted chuckles at me weekly, planting a gentle kiss on my lips before moving off of me somewhat.

X▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪��▪︎▪︎X

I lay flat on the bed with my eyes clothes, breathing heavily in an attempt to catch my breath. At first, I thought Ted was leaving, sitting up a little to see if I could spot him. I didn't see or hear anything at first, frowning to myself. Did he leave?...

When I suddenly feel the bed sheets underneath me move, I turn around to see Ted was trying to take the comforter off. I laugh weakly, sitting up a bit to help him toss it off before moving under the loose sheet.

"I was...worried for a second.." I admit in a gentle tone, moving aside so Ted could slip in next to me.

"Worried? 'Bout what?" Ted asks with a curious hum, slipping his white shirt and tie off of his body completely before laying on his side. "Thought I left?"

"Mhmmm.." I hum quietly with a nod, shifting closer to him. "A little bit.."

Ted gives me a warm smile, making sure we were both comfortable under the loose sheet before wrapping his strong bare arms around me, pulling me in close to his chest.

"Nuh-Uh. I'm stayin'..." He whispers to me, one of his hands moving to caress and massage the back of my head. "I'm stayin'. I'm stayin'..."

I feel my exhaustion get the best of me and I close my eyes, a weak smile spread along my lips at his words. My hands are comfortably in front of my body, content to be nuzzled up against Ted's chest for the night.

Another Night ends in Ted's arms.

I'm happy.

__________________________________Chapter 1 || Chapter 2 || Chapter 3 || Chapter 4 || Chapter 5 || Chapter 6 (smut) || Chapter 7 || Chapter 8 || Chapter 9 || Chapter 11 || Chapter 12 || Chapter 13 || Chapter 14 (smut) || Chapter 15 ||

[luvyeni]

just saw the thing you wrote for hook up!felix and that gave me an idea

could you write smth where lix and the reader are basically together (not officially but they only fuck with each other and everyone knows) and one night at a party, after they had a little fight, the reader is messing around flirting w other guys in front of felix so obviously he gets full of it and takes her somewhere else and they fight about it but with a very sexual tension in the air so things get veeery smutty and rough

i would appreciate it sm! love your work <3

NOT TOGETHER (YOU'RE MINE) ; LEE FELIX

pairings. hookup!felix x fem!reader

wc. 0.7k

warnings. fingering, ass slapping, doggystyle, unprotected sex, marking,

i hope you like it !

after a fight with felix before a party, you decide to piss him off with

—

"i told you not to worry about her , we aren't hooking up , i told you." you both walked up the steps of the party chan was throwing. "oh really ? why the fuck is she telling people that then felix im not stupid." you scoffed. "she's lying , besides why are you so jealous , we aren't together." he knocked on the door, you genuinely thought he was joking , since he was the one who lead you to believe you were.

"are you serious?" he was about to say something , when the door opened. "how's my favorite couple!" chan didn't notice the tension. "got it." you said , walking into the house. "what's going on with you guys?" he turned to felix. "nothing hyung, you know how she is , she's your sister." he made his way into the house.

he tried to follow after you , but you had already grabbed a drink , making your way out of the kitchen , walking past him. "are you serious?" he sighed , but you showed him no attention , going to dance with some friends.

you were dancing when someone came up behind you. "you look good." you turned recognizing the voice. "hi yeonjun , how are you?" you smiled. "i'm good , im good." his eyes were traveling down your figure , biting his lip. "why haven't you called me in a while?" he said. "busy." yeah busy with felix. "are you to busy to dance with me?" he asked ,you turned back to felix who was watching the scene play out in front of him. "no im not." you turned back to him.

felix was seeing red , biting the inside of his cheek , watching you dance too close to yeonjun. you two were whispering stuff in each other ear , laughing , and yeonjun's hands was dangerously close to your ass. "what's going on with you two?" han stood next to felix. "nothing." he cluthed his glass tightly , "nothing at all." he left the boy standing there , making his way over to you.

"＿ , can i speak to you." he stood right in front of you. "i'll go get you another drink." yeonjun walked away , and felix grabbed your hand , pulling you away. "felix ! let me go." you shrieked , but he annoyed you , dragging you up the stairs to the bathroom , closing the door behind you.

"what the hell is wrong with you?" he said. "what do you mean?" he rolled his eyes , you were playing stupid. "don't play dumb , letting him touch you like that knowing- knowing what?" you stopped him. "that we're together? you made that clear we aren't so why are you so upset." you said , he huffed.

"exactly , so im gonna go back and dance." you went to reach for the door , but he spoke up. "you're acting like a bitch." you stopped turning around, your hand going straight across his face. "fuck you." you opened the door , but he slammed it , caging you in between him and the door. "you're not leaving out so stop it." you turned to face him ,you opened your mouth to say something , but his head came up to your throat.

"you done , you done actually like a brat?" you squirmed , but he grabbed your hip , stopping you from moving. "let me go." he squeezed tighter , you whimpered , he noticed , smirking. "is that what's wrong , you just need to be fucked." you scoffed. "that's you." your hand travelled to his pants , squeezing his cock. "how about you go fuck that girl , and let me get back to yeonjun." he had enough , smashing his lips into yours , pulling away , making his way to your neck.

"you're mine , i guess you haven't fully gotten that." he bit down , making you moan. "fu..fuck felix." he sucked a bunch of marks on your neck. his hand came up to your boob , squeezing it , before his hand , slipped into your pants , cupping your heat. "look at you , all fucking wet." he pushed your panties to the side , rubbing your clit. "fe..felix , please." you whined. "please touch me." he pushed two fingers into your hole.

"look at you clenching around me , you sure you want to go back out with yeonjun?" you shook your head , your head was against the door , as he fucked into your cunt. "clenching around my fingers like a slut , you're gonna cum?" you nodded frantically. "p..please let me cum." he pulled his fingers out , you whimpered at the loss. "no , please ,please." he smirked watching you beg.

"you're not cumming unless it's on my cock." he turned your body around , pushing you against the sink , pulling your pants down to your ankle , snacking your ass. "felix!" you yelped. "be quiet, im gonna fuck you." he slapped your ass again , unbuckling his pants , pushing his pants down , along with his underwear.

he pulled his cock out , slapping it against your ass. "i want to hear you scream." he lined his cock up with your aching hole. "want them to hear." he pushed into you , your mouth opening in a oh shape , as he seethed himself all the way inside you. "so fucking tight." he pulled out of you , slamming back in. "fe..felix , so so full."

he pushed your head down , as he fucked into you. "that's it -shit- take my cock , only i can fuck you like this , you think yeonjun or anyone else can fuck you like i can , make you cum the way i do." he grabbed your hair , pulling you against him. "fucking answer me!" he tugged at your hair. "no..no one can." you moaned out as he let you hair go , the only thing keeping your upperbody up was the sink as he roughly fucked into you.

"that's right , no one can -fuck- this pussy is mine , you understand?" you nodded , "sh..shit felix , im gonna cum!" you screamed. "shit- me too , hold it." he fucked into you faster , slapping your ass as he chased his high. "oh my god ! fe..felix i can't, i can't hold it." he reached down in front of you rubbing circles on your clit.

"shit, im gonna cum too, gonna let me cum inside you, keep in for the whole party." you were on the edge. "yes..please let me cum." tears running down your eyes. "shit , im cumming , go ahead and cum princess." your legs shook , as you came , clenching around him hard. "fuck!" he thrusted into your almost limp body , filling you up with his cum. "fuck take it." he stilled himself inside you , leaning down to kiss your shoulders , leaving a little mark there. "fuck , you felt so good." he pulled out of you , moving your panties back in place. "don't waste it." he said.

you guys got dressed against , but he didn't let you go , instead he pulled you into another makeout session , pulling away for air , his forehead pressed against yours.

"you're mines."

©️LUVYENI

[elsfairy]

Sevika comforting her kid after a break up. Or Sevika comforting the kid when they climb into bed with her. \\\>~<///

wait, this is actually adorable???? i will try my hardest <3 i feel like this is so longggggg. Sorry it's late, i fell asleep and i just feel like this is so.. idk rushed???? i hope you like it tho <3

• Sevika is very, very protective of her daughter. Maybe a little too much, but she hates to see her upset or hurt. It's a very motherly instinct.

• She was aware that Sevika cared about her emotions, her feelings and everything about her. Yet sometimes she felt like she just didn't want to worry her. Worrying the Brute was something she always did.

• At first, it was easy to avoid talking about why she was so quiet. To avoid the tension, the hurt. It was so easy. Sevika just assumed she was okay, because she was smiling. Sure she could master the fake smile a lot, but she just didn't want her mother to worry.

• "Hey" Sevika frowns, patting her head gently. "You sure you're okay? You've barely eaten your food"

• "Yeah, I'm just tired"

• She never bought it. But she understood that her daughter had boundaries and wanted her space so she would leave it. She didn't want to make her angry or upset her even more. The little tinker in the back of her head still going off on knowing she was lying.

• It was a stupid mistake, such a stupid mistake to bring up if her girlfriend was coming over to do their homework together. It was so dumb but Sevika genuinely adored that someone loved her daughter.

• Frankly, she didn't except her daughter to blow up over such a question. She had Sevika's temper when she was mad. So it was a little startling. As much as she wanted to go after her, she knew she needed her space. Even if broke her heart.

• Thankfully, she's not the type to break anything.

• When the home was silent, that's when Sevika worries even more. Her daughter was a crier, and a loud one at that. So the silence is heart wrenching.

• It's surprising how clean her daughters room always was when her anger came out. Nothing was touched, nothing was ruined. She just sat there, on her bed silent.

• "She broke up with me"

• Of course she's confused. They were fine when she saw them together last week. They were happy, laughing and just glad to be with each other. So yes, Sevika had no idea what to say for a few minutes.

• "Hey look at me, Honey"

• She's not closed off when it comes to her daughter. If she needs someone to listen, Sevika is right there. If she needs a hug, Sevika is right there. If she needs anything, Sevika is right there.

• She would always lay her head in Sevika's lap, sniffling and having her hair played with. It's something that the Brute always did when she was younger, and it just became a habit. One her daughter loved.

• "I know you don't want to talk about it but⎯" She pauses, thinking of her question a little better. "what happened? you were fine last week. Did something happen? did she hurt you?"

• "No, she didn't hurt me... i think she just didn't love me as much as i thought.. or as much as i loved her.. don't go chasing after her to shout at her"

• "Hey, i might be an asshole sometimes but that doesn't mean im going to go and shout at someone. Especially if that someone is someone you care about. It's alright, i got you. I know you're hurting but it's alright, im right here"

• Sevika would hold her when she cried. As much as she didn't like her daugher crying her poor heart out, she knew she needed to get it out and she would be there with her. Rocking her back and forth slowly.

• "Found one of those stupid movies you really liked a few years ago, do you want to watch one, and actually eat the rest of your dinner?"

• Movie nights don't happen when her daughter is upset. Playing board games is what she enjoyed more and Sevika couldn't say no to her. Or sometimes reading, the Brute will gladly read of her many books to her daughter. To calm her down.

• That girl was her world. Her own flesh and blood. She hated to see her so upset, but she knew she would be okay. Just baby steps.

• She didn't like talking about it much, so instead she would mumble out random jokes while Sevika braided her hair. Sometimes they didn't have to talk, just doing something together was more than enough comfort.

• Hot chocolate. Always have the hot chocolate on standby. That was her daughters favourite comfort drink.

• Honestly? Sevika is building a blanket fort with her daughter if it means she's thinking about something else. Taking her mind off of what was upsetting her was the best idea and she would try her hardest.

• "I love you Honey"

[creativebrainrot]

open journal entry

just writing about Brain Garbage i had to deal with today.

descriptions of abuse at the hands of my dickhead father. (not to be confused with My Dad who is a sweetheart that I would fight god for.)

TLDR: I am incapable of assuming that anyone who acts like they care about me or enjoys my company Actually Means It because I had Basic Human Social Ques weaponized against me for my first 16 years alive. I am currently incapable of believing that anyone genuinely cares when they're nice to me: They're ACTUALLY doing it out of pity/civility/jsut because they're a nice person/etc and Not because I am a friend that they care about. I am also incapable of assuming that anyone that enjoys my company considers me special in any regard.

like I still have to fight off dumb ass thoughts that if I disappeared tomorrow, no one would care. There's also the stupid little loopholes my brain will find like "even if they DID care, its because youre their friend and they "Should Care" and not because they, on their own, considered you, individually, special." because minds are, infact, Stupid, and Overrated. :)

im working on it.

i have literally no self perception what so ever. that's only slightly hyperbolic. If someone doesn't tell me what they think of me, my default is to assume that they like me in that moment. The second anyone stops talking to me for awhile, I assume it's because they're bored of me. That it's because they no longer like me. They'll be back in a week or two, or they'll be gone forever.

I know why this is my default of course. i've been isolated, for 21 years, in the middle of no where, with no friends- let alone real friends who care, until last December. my abuser. who would, when I was 13 and younger- actually he never stopped being like this. I stopped playing the game instead. He'd act "normal" (loving, listening to me, joking with me, caring about me, being a father,) for a week. then he'd reset. he'd be right back to acting cold, distant, like I was an annoyance, a nuisance. Unwanted. I would have no indication of this beforehand (thats how this bullshit worked, if id known, it wouldnt have been abuse.) He ambushed me with being fed up of me, wanting to play and talk with my father, like a child WOULD want, all the time. it was always either very insidious words he could pass off as an "accident" or him "misspeaking" or legitimately, straight up, brushing me off. his autistic, loving child, who took that shit VERY personally, every time. I wanted, and i needed, routine. I still need routine to be happy. I know for a fact he used that against me when he lived with us. There was another thing he'd do to me. I'd read all the social ques he set up, and understand all the things he said, but when I later assumed I'd known right, he would flip around and say he never said that. he never meant that. and always imply that I was stupid for thinking I'd understood his Exact Words correctly. obviously, this was more abuse, and he was just lying. because he could. to trip me up. to make me doubt myself. it resulted in me never listening to a fucking word he said. Aswell as the lingering issues of me, still assuming, that I cannot read people. That people who act like they enjoy my company are simply being civil. Or that they do enjoy my company, but it wont last. They'll get bored of me eventually and then I'll never hear from them again. Or i'll hear from them again a week or two later. I know it's all nonsense- That it's all just, residual effects from my abusive childhood. That I'll unlearn it eventually.

But I cannot put into words how frustrating it is to be having an okay or fine time and then be blindsided by how desperate and lonely I was trained to be by a manipulative piece of shit who never loved me. Lied to my fucking face- his goddamn child, every day of my life while he was in it.

To be blindsided by how insecure I was made to be. The self-hatred I feel for things that are not my fault is so goddamn, suffocating. It's not my fault I'm desperate for attention; I was deprived of genuine love and attention for 20 fucking years. Sure I had my dad that whole time but one parent cant, and shouldnt be expected, to make up for an abusive parent. My dad is the reason I'm even alive right now. He's the only reason I never acted on any of my suicidal thoughts. But he couldn't fix the abuse that piece of shit inflicted on us both. It's not my fault I feel worthless and unwanted; I spent the first two decade of my life being told through implications that I WAS a nuisance and unwanted and worthless. It's not my fault I'm so fucking lonely when he chose somewhere in the middle of nowhere with no my age around, with no school nearby I could walk to- somewhere with only military families that would leave in a few months or retired people who dont fucking want to talk to anyone else and sure as hell dont make for good friends for my queer gen z ass. Let alone that we're in the south, and I am nonbinary.

None of it is my fault. I want to unlearn it.

I just want to believe that i am special to someone. You don't know how tired I am of the voices in my mind telling me that I will never be wanted, or loved, or needed, or missed when I'm not around.

How tired I am of being genuinely incapable of believing that I have any value to anyone alive, unable to believe that anyone would care if I was gone tomorrow.

I am exhausted. I am so tired, of believing that I am unwanted, that I am pathetic, that I am worthless, that I will never be remembered when I'm not in the room or around.

I just want to unlearn it all and move on with my life.

Very slowly, I am.

There's brighter days ahead. I've held onto hope for so long it's starting to hurt. I want it to be over and done with already- all of it. The move out of this wretched house that always felt like a prison, unlearning these nasty lies that were implanted in my mind to make me vulnerable to more abuse, the poverty, which is also the result of residual abusive actions. I can't tell you how many times my dad saved that idiot from making us homeless.

I know that these nasty lies are just that; lies. I know that I'll get a chance to truly feel like my friends and loved ones care. I know that I'll be able to put all this behind me someday soon and never look back.

in the meantime I am so sick of the thoughts in my mind rendering me incapable of believing that my friends genuinely like me. So tired of it actually hurting, to even think of letting myself believe that they care. Every single last time I let myself believe that someone cared, I got hurt. But that "someone" was the same person, every time. The people in my life now, are not that man. Infact they've been kinder to me and shown more care for me than he ever genuinely did in the 21 years I had with him in my life. That's not even remotely hyperbolic.

idk man, brain shit is annoying and bullshit and BOY do I want my mind to shut the fuck up again and let me live.

[yuyu-bi]

i just finished my second watch through and i can say w my whole heart that oliver was lying completely when he said he hated felix in the end lmaoo you don’t drink someone’s bathwater from the drain and come back from that hating them im so sorry-

i guess it *could* be understandable if it was like a longer period of time but six months??? be for real now 💀

like i actually wonder at what point did he decide to kill felix bc it def seemed like it was like a ‘if i can’t have you no one can’ situation that was v much impulsive in nature after being cast away and also bc it’s insane how like this all happened in a single day lmao i thought the party was a separate day 😭 also the fact that felix still showed concern for oliver getting sick after literally saying that being around him makes his blood run cold 💀 this is how ik he’s just a decent guy dealing w a weirdo lmao i’m so used to rich ppl in movies being so vapid and vindictive but he honestly isn’t? compared to the rest of the family lol idk maybe i’m dumb and blinded by jacob elordi but i really wasn’t getting that? like yeah he’s used to ppl doing stuff for him in return for him giving them stuff but lmao i actually think he just genuinely liked oliver? or whatever persona he was putting on at least but he was overall just a nice dude? lmao he didn’t deserve to die like that 😭 i saw somewhere someone saying he essentially had some sort of savior complex when it came to poor people but like that’s probs the only negative thing about him? he’s was literally manic pixie dream boy for most of the movie lmao

idk someone said it was like a crime of passion but i highly doubt that lmao he like brought drugs to put in the drink like??? i will say i don’t think he thought it all the way through how much felix dying would devastate the family 💀 bc why my dude just set on wearing his clothes to bed just hours after he died 💀 such a good chara ugh

i still think it’s insane that he lied about everything in his background just for felix 💀 like i get giving white lies here and then but actually lying about your whole family 💀💀 that scene will stay w me for a while bc that’s actually completely embarrassing but im actually more interested in why he would lie about his family when they seem completely normal? like i get being a black sheep in the family and everything but bruh what a wild thing to lie about your parents being drug addicts 😭

also absolutely need more of a look into oliver’s and farleigh’s dynamic because….was actually probably more interesting than his w felix tbh also didn’t realize farleigh was in the movie from that start? also their scene tho 😵‍💫 need more of that yeah ALSO why was he the only one to survive lmao bc ik his ass came back once he heard oliver got the estate there’s no way 💀💀 im insanely curious how that went down if at all

what an insane long con to play oh my god 😭😭 i mean i don’t think it was ongoing all that time but bruh the moment the dad died it was back to work 💀 evil completely evil bruh i love it

[maxthesillyy]

i bet everything i own that if i push the look button max is gonna say smth quirky and funny— wait no. we cant look at anything… UNCOMMON DE WIN

nope nvm she looked at thefucking santa hat NEVERMIND. and the table sign… and. a bunch else. okay…..

still soso cuirous bout rhe polaroids

literally just watched safi tell her to pull the trigger and is still absolutely fine with her.. okay

LORETTA!!!!!!<3

OH SHIT YAY i was hoping wed get a “max fucks up timelines” moment :3

loretta y r u like rhis… freak<3

the talk to the future/past thing is so much cooler now considering

not even an animation for the “change his grade” thing??

SORRY PLANT I JUST DIDNT WANNA RISK GWEN FIGURING OUT I WAS THERE

gwen hates max in my play through so much 😭

oh straight up? nice

“whyd u do it” “IT WAS HARD AND I DONT REGRET IT”

safi…. safi im so curious

MAYA MENTION MAYA MENTION MAYA MENTION

amberprice vibes? parallels i guess?

so clearly the call was safi learning the book was cancelled

max never fucking stops 😭😭

people who want to romance gwen r projecting themselves WAY too much into maxs place,,, maybe its just me but this is like. exhausted parent and rebellious teenager 4 lack of better words

NO RECORDS OF ALDERMAN??? this is so cool

oh hey firewalk poster in gwens office

stop mentioning explosive shit ur scaring me

THE RINGING IS SO ANNOYINGGGGRGEFFEFEF

oh???????? timeline fuckery???????? i dont think shes lying she looks way too chill.

“everyone seems to have a different opinion of Maya” I AM FED UP WITH THE RACHEL PARALLELS!!!!!!!!!! WHERE IS THIS GOING 💥💥💥💥💥

“because she (safi) trusts you. and i (yasmin) trust you.” staring staring staring. something something ‘pull the trigger.’

I DONT WANNNA TALK TO VINH OH MY GO

me and all the homies (except ky) HATE VINH

AMANDA JUMPSCARE HOLY SHIT like that genuinely startled me. just seeing her stand in the corner like that LMFAO

MAYAS WAS A STUDENT?????????? I TAKE BACK EVERY AMBERPRICE STATEMENT MY BAD MY BAD

im trying so hard to care about the npc sideplotlines. would be easier if i could engage in the conversation.

STOP BEING FLIRTY I DO NOT CONSENT‼️‼️

OH! DIAMOND AND MOSES.. or just diamond?

the audios weird again

the chapters feel so much longer… but that may just be bc i dont know what to expect next unlike previous games.

oh. damn. i liked lucas,, idk whether to trust vinh but. idk.

hell yea not cashing in on the favor he owes me

safis like a force of nature when shes angry. this reminds me of no one.

ugh i guess i dont totally hate vinh

HELP MAX I WAS JUST ABOUT SAY— not another pedo teacher please 🙏

wow <3 love this photo of lucass family. definitely not a pitch black screen for some reason.

OF COURSE THATS WHERE THE FUCKING THING TO PROGRESS THE STORY WAS

OH SHIR HES A THEIF

i like that DE has more achievements other than the collectibles

SAFI TIME

these chapters are SO LONG

“safi, hey!” said too casually

dude im scared of safi now

WHATS GOING ON?! IM SCARED!!! /reference

maxs number 1 talent is pissing off pretty women

MAX PRE DE POST HELL WEEK LORE

THE CHLOE SHIT IS GONNA MAKE ME GO INSANE. WDYM U WERE ALONE FOR SO LONG. WDYM CHLOE IS PROBABLY PARTYING. WHAT DO YOU MEAN CHLOE WOULD PICK UP FOR YOU BUT IT ISNT HER JOB TO YAKE CARE OF YOU. YOURE GOING THROUGH HORRIBLE TRAUMATIC SHIR LITERALLY CALL HER

UGHGSGEGFFRGGEGGEGGRGFFAHHHHHHH

OH WAIT LETS FUCKING GO— max makes a parallel comment on lucas and jefferson i knew it was real

“heh…. thats the reaction im expecting at this point……” max shouldve been a teen on 2020 tiktok

ARO DIAMOND????? 😻😻😻😻😻😻😻

i cant play this all night when does this chapter end?

so were calling polaroid max alternate max

safi vague vent posting LMFAO

max messing up timelines 😻

lowkey getting annoyed amanda’s One reaction to anything sad max says is “LOL EMO i refuse to respond seriously” it’s nitpicky

also the audio is weird again,,, WAY too loud music rn

“bitch shut ur dumb eyes!” same vibes as when someone tries to do the “be mean to friend jokingly and everyone finds it funny” way too early on in the friendship. clearly max doesnt think so tho so.

this reminds me of that one moment in the tlou dlc

this is not fun,,,,,,,,,, classic LIS dance scene tho! cant live without it

AYYYYY LETS THRASH SHAKABRAH MOMENT

ugh that wasnt fun but it was kinda cute + necessary LIS dance scene + max is happier now

PH THE BG MUSIC IS GOOD NOW?????? HOLY SHIT ITS LIKE. BTS LEVELS OF GOOD

oh yay amandas finally giving max a normal response

“why are you so nice to me?” MAX GUILT AND TRAUMA MAX GUILT AND TRAUMA

“shit,,, im doing it again” LITERALLY WHAT AMANDA. WHAT. LITERALLY WHAT.

“my therapist says i latch onto people too quickly…” SHUT UPPPPP FUCK OFF

okay sorry i officially dont like amanda. reminds me of way too many annoying people i know

“please dont vs that would be hot” 😕😕😕😕😕

when max acts cringy its okay bc its max but when AMANDA ACTS LIKE A NICE GUY ITS SO ANNOYING

I LITERALLY SAID SHE ISNR MY TYPE AND ITS A FRIEND THING STOP SHOVING HER AT ME— AT LEAST VINH IS RELATED TO THE PLOT.

“heh… i guess i just have a thing for emotionally unavailable women” FUCK OFFF I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WERE ALL ABOUT BOUNDARIES

“but dw you didnt feel the same way and i respect that” CLEARLY NOT???

okay the gwen is hot joke is actually kinda funny

whateva whateva idec

i wanted to like amanda so much but i CANT

oh hey trauma and guilt again 😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻

max was so excited to see safi too </3

MAX STOP FLIRTING WITH PEOPLE I DO NOT CONSENT /joke

“safi was obsessed with you” SAFI LORE GO ON PLEASE

anybody else waiting for More rachel mentions

stop making me not hate you vinh… this chapter has reversed me— like vinh hate amanda now

WHY ARE WE SMASHING OR PASSING STOP IT STOP IT IM TOO AROACE I DONT LIKE THIS GAME STOPPPPPPP

say safi so i can say smash

“my students are off limits” THANK GOD i was so scared they were gonna be dumb tbh

VINH BACK OFF NOW— BEAR SPRAY GO

OH FUCK OFF IM NOT KISSING HIM— NOT NOW OF ALL TIMES

“dont take this the wrong way—“ TAKE IT. TAKE IT THE WRONG WAY

please tell me were at the end please please please

YEAH I AM ROMANTICALLY DISENTANGLED THANKS FOR NOTICING— although thats. an odd achievement. but i can support an achievement that encourages you to not gaf about romance for two seconds.

SCARY TF

max canNOT get a break

close the door damn

WHAT RHE SHIT

WHATS GOING ON?!?!? IM SCARED!!!!! /ref

THEY WENT INTO THE DARK ROOM??? FUCK OFF

kitty!

OH HEY I REMEMBER— THE HOUSE BREAK INS THEY MENTIONED EVERY OTHER MINUTE

WHAT RHE FUCK WHAT RHE TUCK EHAT THE FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

THATS SAFI IM CALLING IT— JK I DONT ACTUALLY KNOW? NO SHOT THATS ACTUALLY MAX?

THIS IS COOL AS FUCK DUDE

OH WAIT OR? MAYA? EITHER WAY THIS IS NOT MAX SHES ACTING WEIRD AF

NOT MAX THAT IS NOT MAX

OH MY GOD LITERALLY WHO ARE YOU

JESUS CHRISTTT

THATS WHAT??? CHLOE CALLED HER????????? SUPERMAX??????

OKAY SO. WHATEVER. WE WERE RIGHT. BUT NO NEED FOR HER TO HAVE CALLED HER SUPERMAX

WHAT RHE FUCK EVER

so!!!! that was fun!!!!!!!! ill collect my thoughts!!!!!! soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CHAT I AM SO EXCITED AND DREADFUL

[dr4cking]

Tutor

draco malfoy x reader | smut | fluff

"miss y/n, this is getting horrible, you have been failed at my class so many times, your grades isnt doing better, now all i can do is to suggest you by getting a tutor" professor slughorn sighed handing y/n her last test disappointedly.

"im sorry professor, i promise i will try harder and get better" y/n took her paper and going back to her seat.

"im sure you're a great student, you just need some help. uhm- mr. malfoy? do you mind tutoring your classmate here, miss y/n? its only you who is the bestest in my class" the professor asked to one of the best students, the famous draco malfoy, y/n gulped and waiting nervously for his answer. she had this little crush on him since they always had classes together and she's in the same house as him, but they were not exactly 'close'.

"oh i dont mind, professor. its my pleasure" draco answers politely, taking a look at y/n making the girl look down and blush, a smile appeared to his face. little did she know, he has a big crush on the lovely girl who seemed clueless about all the hints he gave her almost everyday.

professor slughorn just nodded and dismissed the class, everyone packed their things and left, y/n look at draco who's already staring at her with a genuine smile plastered in his face, motioning her to follow him. she feels like her heart jumped out of the place, she follows him behind as draco walking them to his room.

as they arrived in draco's room, y/n admires the design, it was elegant and neat. typical rich slytherins room.

"it looks nice" y/n said opening the conversation.

"thanks, put my hardest work to make it look the best. here, take a seat beside me" draco patting the side of his couch, there's a small table in front of the couch.

y/n took a seat beside him, and placing her books to the table, the tension was so awkward that she wished she was a talkative person.

draco started the lesson, y/n learned faster from the way draco explained it than in the class, but she would be lying if she said she hasnt lost her focuses a few times to studying draco's face, he's just so beautiful. she thinks he didnt noticed, but he did, he just keep it to himself.

after hours studying, y/n feels like her head will going to explode in a minute, she decided to take a break.

"god can we take a break, draco? this is so stressing, why cant i just be smart like you, dont get me wrong you're a great tutor but im just too dumb" y/n protested, massaging her head and rubbing her face in frustration.

"oh y/n dont say that! we can take a break of course, but to make you feel better, i promise you, you're doing so great now, you've improved a lot, im so proud of you" draco said cheering her up, his hand goes to tucked her hair behind her ear reassuring her.

y/n look up to draco, giving him a sweet shy smile and her cheeks turns red as draco keeps complimented her, before they know it they were leaning into each other and their lips met, the kisses were soft and lovely, draco cupped her cheeks caressing it gently while y/n wrapped her arms around the back of his neck pulling him closer tugging at his hair deepening the kisses making both of them let out a small moans.

as the kisses turn into a full makeout and got heated, draco lays her down gently on the couch placing soft wet kisses on her neck, sucking on it, marking her causing her to let out a soft moan, he placed one of his hand on her thigh rubbing small circles until his hand got higher, he pulled away.

"do you wanna take this further, love? we can stop now if you dont want to" draco asked and y/n shakes her head no and put his hand back to her inner thigh.

"no draco please keep going i want you, i need this" draco groans and he continues rubbing her clit from her panties feeling the wetness that already make a spot on her panties, soft whines escaped her lips as draco keep teasing her clit, he pushes her panties aside and insert one finger inside her making y/n let out a constant squeal and she covered her mouth quickly, her eyes rolled back at the pleasure.

y/n's moans were muffled by her hand, draco cant help but getting harder by looking at her expression, he still cant believe he finally got the girl he always adored like this, he added another fingers into her cunt, curling them inside her making the girl squirmed under his touch.

"dont cover your mouth, let me hear your beautiful voice, show me how good i make you feel, love" draco said as he takes her hand off of her mouth and intertwining their hands instead with his free hand while his fingers still working their way in and out of her tight hole getting faster each time, he stares at her in awe, how gorgeous she looks right now, mouth hung open, eyes rolled back in pleasure and all because of him, he feels butterflies filling his stomach.

"yes- yes draco, oh god.. you make me feel so good" draco go down to her pussy, pulling off her panties, putting her thighs on his shoulder and positioning his face in front of her glistening cunt and started to eat her out making y/n a moaning mess, he let out a moan too at the taste of her, getting addicted to it, he can even eat her out for all day if she let him.

"do you like the way my tongue plays with your pretty pussy, love? mhmm you taste so fucking delicious baby" draco keeps sucking on her clit, its like he was making out with it, his tongue going in and out of her hole his fingers going with the same pace as his tongue.

"ah- yes draco i love it, oh- please im so close" y/n keep moaning uncontrollably while her hand grasping tightly onto his hair.

"yes baby, let it out, cum on my tongue, let me taste you, darling" draco wants nothing more than to pleasure her right now, making this moment unforgettable for both of them, and within seconds y/n screams his name and cumming hard on his mouth, laying breathlessly still steadying her breath after her intense orgasm.

draco pulled away and y/n blushing madly looking at his face, his mouth covered in her juices, he smiles proudly at her, sucking his fingers clean, and hovered over her, reconnecting their lips, y/n hummed at the taste of herself on his tongue. draco started to unbuttoned her shirt, taking her bra off too and throw them to somewhere, he hungrily kissing her breasts, playing with her nipples causing y/n to get wetter while her hands working on his belt and taking his pants off, his erected dick slapped up to his lower stomach, she took it in her tiny hand and stroking it massaging the tip, making him groans.

"god.. you're so beautiful y/n.." y/n mumbles a quick 'thankyou' at the compliment getting impatient, wanting nothing more than to be taken by the blonde guy.

"draco, please, i need you so bad" she cant take it anymore, she wanted to feel him, wrapping him inside her tightly, she whimpers at the feel of his hard dick rested on her thigh.

"your wish is my command, princess" draco lining up his dick on her cunt, rubbing his tip up and down on her clit lubricate it before slowly pushing in, they both moaning each other names out loud at the sensation, both of their heads thrown back and eyes screwed shut in pleasure, y/n wrapped her legs on his waist pulling him deeper, draco paused a moment as he was fully inside her, letting her adjust to his size.

"you can move draco, god you're so big" y/n dug her nails onto his back as he slowly made a move, pulling out until its just his tip inside and slamming it back again, making y/n bites her bottom lip.

draco started to pick up his pace, pushing her legs to her chest making more access as he continues to thrust in and out deeper and faster inside her, he put his hands next to the side of her face to support his weight, y/n runs her hands on his chest, scratching it, her breasts bouncing up and down under him.

"merlin, you're so tight baby feels so good, fuck- how can someone feels this good-" draco said as he kissed her lips, his lips trembling against hers, he bites softly on her bottom lip to hold his scream as he feels her walls clenching around him, squeezing him tighter.

"oh my god- draco, right there, holy-" y/n cant even finishes her words as she screams louder when draco keeps hitting her spot, going deeper and faster each time, bringing her to her high.

"baby, are you close?" y/n nodded at his question, cant even answer him as she was too focused as the coil started to tighten in her stomach.

"good baby, cause i cant hold it much longer, now cum love, cum for me" draco rubbed a circle on her clit, his thrusts getting sloppier, y/n screamed his name out loud seeing the stars as she finally hit her orgasm, harder than the first one and draco cant help at the feeling of her walls clenching really hard around him after her high, he spilled his thick cum inside her, painting her walls white non stop, making both of them groans, his vision going blurry, he collapsed on top of y/n, burying his face on her hair, running out of breath, their bodies started to shake.

"fuck y/n that was amazing, you are too good for me, love" draco kiss her lips again as he finished, he pulls out gently, but before he can stand up he falls to her side, both of them laughs.

"look at what you did to me, y/n" draco laughed as he slowly standing up to get the towel and clean her up.

"if this is how the tutoring ends, i wouldnt mind doing it again" y/n said, smirking to him confidently as draco helped her up to his bed, giving her a cheeky grin.

[raayllum]

I cannot even explain how Terry the Earthblood bf of freaking ELF HARVESTER CLAUDIA is making the shipper in me go feral. There are so many interesting ways this could go

Like, first there’s the somewhat typical but still deliciously angst worthy scenarios where:

Terry Doesn’t Know

1) and genuinely likes Claudia and thinks she likes him too except Claudia approached him on purpose and is USING him (but also she is deep in denial at the fact that she has somehow ended up Actually Liking Him, which she cannot accept for multiple reasons, mostly because she can’t get over her remaining pride and prejudice towards elves, because she can’t choose him over her dad and she knows it too so what’s the point, and because she doesn’t want to think about how Badly Things Will End when he learns about everything she has done)

Terry Doesn’t Know

2) and genuinely likes Claudia, and she genuinely LIKES HIM and she didn’t want to get him involved but she couldn’t bear to leave him either, so she’s lying her mage ass off about everything, but she is visibly torn and paranoid, she doesn’t want to leave him, but she doesn’t know how to protect him, she doesn’t want him to find out What She Has Done, but she can’t stop being daddy’s little girl either - she has to pick a side but she can’t so she’s trying to have her cake and eat it too

Bonus Messed Up Points for both scenarios if Claudia does like him but she still can’t quite see elves as ‘people’ and confesses to her dad that she sort of thinks of him more as an ‘exotic pet’ - hence why she has no moral hang ups on deceiving him and using him. But she still wants him to like her back, so she doesn’t want him to Find Out.

Then it gets interesting:

Terry Knows

-and he is a completely and utterly Willing Accomplice because of some personal grudge against Xadia (they have been portrayed as a little too noble so far, like no one really mentions anything terrible they did behind the whole purge an ethnic minority thing which was mentioned maybe three times. So I would appreciate something to paint them in darker tones. Earthblood Elf massacre? Maybe Terry was adopted by humans? Is half human? Either way, Xadia is going down.) Claudia is completely taken by this cheerful traitor and the feeling is mutual. He’s happy to assist in Claudia’s dedication to human take over and he thinks she’s the cutest little tyrant he has ever met. High in shock factor. Super messed up. Also kinda cute.

We have the slightly more nuanced:

Terry Knows

-and Claudia thinks he /doesn’t/. She thinks he’s totally in the dark, and either she’s using him from the start (and won’t admit to herself she’s grown to like him) or has genuinely liked him from the start, but either way, she’s lying to him about everything and he still just. Goes along with it. Just because he Likes Her That Much (some yandere vibes). And he doesn’t tell her that he knows because he knows she doesn’t want to have that conversation. And he is waiting for her to trust him enough to tell her himself. Again, super messed up. Also kinda cute. Also ship makes more sense if they both have extremely skewed morals for their loved ones.

But. But my favourite one is this.

Terry Knows

- and Claudia thinks he doesn’t. Because Terry is the one who approached HER first. On Purpose. Yes. THE ELF BF IS A DOUBLE AGENT. And that is why he Knows everything Claudia is up to but plays dumb and just goes along with whatever lie she says or whatever shady request she makes, that is why he plays the silly, blindly devoted boyfriend, all so he can put himself in a position that’s close enough to her to Stop Her. And even better? He’d rather die than admit it, but Terry-the-double-agent can’t help but Like Her A Little. Even as he’s preparing to betray her. Claudia is cute and silly and pretty and he’s still steeling himself to put an end to her, if that’s what it will take to stop her. And Claudia (whether she started out using him and grew to like him or she liked him immediately as he started out using her) is just the same, she Can’t Help But Like Him even though it’s stupid, even as she thinks about how she’ll still have to betray Terry eventually for her father’s sake. They both look at each other with smiles and lies and die a little inside as they think about how they will inevitably have to Get Rid of the other to reach their goals. Either one of them Turns or they both Burn. IT IS ALLLL THE ANGST.

So I’m gonna disagree on the Xadia is never portrayed as bad because

Assassins are literally coming to unjustly kill the king and his innocent child in 1x03 even once Runaan (who I love, bc I love all the characters) knows the egg wasn’t destroyed

Everything about Sol Regem

The Ghosting Spell that is portrayed as horribly unfair and presumptive in every case we’ve seen it used in that Callum directly calls out as decidedly horrific and unfair

The Light spell that Amaya and Viren both suffer for basically no reason

and much more

Claudia also doesn’t want humans to necessarily take over! Viren has wanted to reclaim Xadia for a while, but Claudia has never said anything similar, and given the way Aaravos has treated all his pawns thus far, I don’t think he currently cares for humanity anymore than he cares for elves. Claudia wants to keep her family (rn her and Viren together) as much as possible, and given how Terry met Viren - no new clothes or cover up or anything - I’d say he’d have to know, and Claudia wouldn’t be with someone who wasn’t going to help her in that regard.

I don’t think Terry is going to be a traitor to Xadia, but I’ve long figured and written about elves who would be okay with dark magic and if anything embrace it, because they’re particularly potent walking spell parts and it’s very convenient. Using their own blood / hair / nails, chopping off and regrowing their fingers, etc etc. So maybe that’ll be him, offering up antler shavings too while he’s at it.

I think Claudia just using Terry is unlikely (because it wouldn’t add much to her arc / character and he’s also trans which - yeah does factor in for me as an NB) but I do think they can have some interesting conversations around personhood and agency and I’m here for all of it. I feel like he could be something that helps her perspective change (depending on his possibly going further into the ‘maybe people as spell parts isn’t great’) so I’m super curious about that.

Claudia may have taken an elven solider from the battlefield, but the boot looks more human to me, so she’s not canonically an elf harvester. Yet, anyway

[randombubblegum]

Don’t worry, I’ll also (anonymously) admit to liking some of PFTW. NEVER high hopes, King of the clouds is so good though

high hopes wasnt even BAD until the fucking thing got played every 15 minutes on every station in every store INESCAPABLY. now i genuinely want to rip that song apart w my bare hands. but ill always love dying in LA. sorry but i will. even the line about your past on the pavement below you/death in a tarot card KNOWING ITS ABOUT PANIC makes me *ripping up couch cushions like a dog* RRGGH

i like old fashioned and roarin 20s (minus the dumb blunt lyric -_-) SOOOO much…. maybe it was just bc of he summer i was living when it dropped? i was having so much fun with my friends and i just. ugh. rooftop pools in la. cocktails and concerts. summer and youth and everything perfect. nostalgic and fun and beautiful for the moment it was so like ofc i think of it fondly. like the whole album is basically the same song but if i said i hated it id be lying!!! and im not gonna lie for clout on tumblr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[sukirichi]

HEY SUKI! im the 💳 anon fidkgskaia i actually sent ask a few times after i asked you about the gojo fic but i forgot to out the card emoji at the end LMAO BUT i hope you're doing great!

I just read dusk til dawn and i am hurt????? its depressing dijdhakahbaakia. BUT BUT BUT I ABSOLUTELY LOVEEEEEEEE HOW YOU WROTE Y/N???? i love female lead like that bcs i am that kind of woman and our wrath after being hurt constantly is just 🙏😇 pray for yourself lmao or should i say suna and iris should pray harder? Fidkkahaka

NO BECAUSE I WANT TO BEAT THEM SO BAD?????? its so annoying how iris had the audacity to say the crown prince wants her to be pregnant to like miss????? thats my husband??? you're so stupid wtf 😂

but the fact that iris had an inkling about how y/n might know about their forbidden relationship and suna deny it just shows that suna is just equally stupid as her fkifksbaoaokab irisuna = stupid dumb ass couple 😍

you certainly made a great job on writing this story(and your other story too) because the anger and sadness i felt when i read is just... 💀

I LOVE KITA SO MUCH 😭 i hope we get to see y/n interact with kita soon. and the smut scene between suna and iris before the wedding is so hot 💔 it breaks my heart bcs its not y/n but still you make them look hot.

but iris is not a royalty.. right? i mean princess maiko said that she is just someone who grew up in the castle but she isnt a royalty. hmmm

i like y/n and oikawa's interaction in chapter 5!! makes me happy that she is enjoying her hunt with him!! and the last scene 💀💀💀 its too early for iris to be dead lmao y/n is just playing 😍 so true queen

and i cant wait to see what will suna say to her odudmahsiska and i hope y/n just strikes some mean words back at him or something bcs the chat on his phone with iris is disgusting 😭 poor y/n

BUT i remember he said that he would absolutely would fall for y/n if iris wasnt in the picture.... and the fact that he doesnt mind about spending his life with y/n gives me hope... BUT y/n's happiness are much more important!

ok this is getting too ling i shall stop. i cant wait for the next update hehehe love you suki.

- 💳

anon, hello!!

and aww thank you so much, i’m happy to hear you enjoy dtd and love the YN! tbh, when i first pictured how dtd would go, i always imagined her as someone who was loving and kind but eventually had to turn insensitive and maybe even cruel but like there will be moments where you can tell that she’s still a good person yknow?

oh iris didn’t say that suna wanted to get her pregnant 👀 she’s married to kiyoomi, and to make it seem like they had a happy marriage, she was lying about how she and kiyoomi are “trying” and they want to have a kid so bad but also she was provoking YN 😭

also WHOA i made iris and suna look hot??? that’s a compliment thank you! and YEAH i can’t wait for kita and yn interactions too, they’re gonna be my favorite non biological siblings duo here <33 and yeah, princess iris is not royalty nor did she come from a noble family. she’s an itachiyama citizen by birth but became a refugee in inarizaki when she was a little girl, so she grew up more with inarizaki’s culture and customs. her background will remain a mystery for now, but it’s safe to assume iris is the most odd one out of everyone in the royal family.

I LOVE OIKAWA AND YN INTERACTIONS. oikawa finds entertainment in people’s misery and somehow makes any situation enjoyable for him, with the exception of his marriage because he’s always in a sour mood around maiko. and i agree, sending a dick pic to iris was horrible like it even made me feel soooo uncomfortable and disgusted 💀

and yes, yes! suna does like the idea of spending a lifetime with us. he genuinely enjoys our company and like us as a person, and if only he hadn’t met iris first, he would’ve fallen head over heels for us. suna can be saying some mean things but we’re actually his type 😌

i love you too, anon, thank you so much for reading dtd and taking the time to send me your thoughts about it! i appreciate it a lot <33

[9tzuyu]

dissolve (rewrite)

natasha x reader

note: this was just a huge vent fic idk. these type of fics seem to be the only thing im okay at writing. mistakes are mine as always. but i did proofread, yay!

if you want to read the original (as awful as it is) you can read it here!

wanrings: this heavily revolves around eating disorders.

i’m not tagging anyone because the content isn’t really the lightest to read.

words are used everyday, everywhere – whether to describe something or someone. there’s thousands upon thousands of them.

so you were having a hard time figuring out why you were struggling so much to justify your feelings through the basis of words. it was unnerving, draining and very annoying. your emotions should be simple, right? you were either sad or happy, angry or scared. but there was something more, something unexplainable. saying you felt alone only scratched the surface of the wave of emotion that took over. it was excruciatingly painful, far worse than any physical pain you ever had to endure. and for some reason it seemed to come crashing down at night while natasha slept peacefully. you weren't exactly sure how to express your emotions to the extent you felt them. how else was anyone supposed to understand your pain? they couldn't, not unless they could somehow shift into your body and feel your emotions themselves. but that was merely impossible as such powers do not exist. so you were inevitably stuck with words foreign to your lips. over the years you were deemed unsafe, a hazard, "an accident waiting to happen" you recall one doctor say. everyone’s eyes were on you at all times, monitoring every little movement you made. it was suffocating and at times doing more damage than good.

as an adult now you learned how freeing it could be without the fear of gaining weight or eating a bowl full of rainbow marshmallow cereal. your worth was not defined by your weight.

(at least that's what you believed prior to any relapses.) everything was going well in your life. you were a college graduate working as a psychiatric nurse and you had found love, something your teenage self could only dream of. natasha was by your side through everything. and really, the only downfall in the relationship was that she had to travel a lot for her job. but you were secure enough in your relationship not to worry or decide to call things off. in the end natasha always made up for it when she came back, so you couldn't complain too much. things were going well for you, really, they were. until they weren't. (and you didn't know why.) it happened out of nowhere. work was a little more stressful than usual, but it was nothing you couldn't handle. natasha had been away for three months, only stopping by a few times to check in on you. but again, your wife being away for so long wasn't anything new or worrisome. the two of you had followed the routine of her leaving and coming back more than a thousand times; yet somewhere along the way you lost yourself. food became less of a priority, your hunger decreased drastically, and within the first month you'd lost thirteen pounds. it truly was an accident, slipping into a full blown relapse was never part of the plan. but thirteen pounds lighter you wanted more, to feel small again. you didn't have an answer as to why you became so attached to your eating disorder, but it didn't seem like it would be letting go any time soon. the rate at which you were going natasha would most definitely be able to see a difference; not only on your weight, but in the person you once were. she'd ask what happened and why it happened, poking and prodding for an answer, but you didn't have one. so here you stood in the kitchen of your shared home, a cup of sliced fruit in one hand and your cell phone in the other. you poured the fruit into the bottom of a blender along with a spoonful of yogurt and half a cup of soy milk. another half cup of ice followed suit. while the fruit blended, you shamelessly scrolled through your instagram. there was nothing interesting going on in other people's lives, you didn't even know why you had social media in the first place. it was dumb, and quite frankly you didn't give a shit whether or not sharon went to the beach. the sound of your blender coming to a halt brought your attention back to the real world. you poured your smoothie into your water bottle. the green liquid would be your breakfast and lunch for the day - dinner was still up for debate. a soft sigh left your lips. work was beginning to feel more like a chore and less of something you enjoyed. you were quickly growing tired of it. nonetheless, you grabbed your keys and rushed out of the door.

you thought about the irony of working as a psychiatric nurse with an undealt eating disorder telling teenagers how to deal with their own issues. you felt hypocritical to say the least, especially given that all the nasty side effects were starting to make themselves known.

your hair was beginning to thin, small clumps of it already starting to fall out when you tugged a little too hard. bruises could be seen scattered left and right on your body, and you were cold. god you were cold. your fingernails were tinted blue, warmth seemingly too far out of reach. you looked ill, and it didn't go unnoticed by your coworkers.

a few hours into your shift you found yourself sitting behind the nurses station filling out paperwork. lunch had passed and when your coworker, steve, asked if you were going to eat something you lied straight through your teeth, telling him you'd grab something when the patients were eating dinner.

but steve rogers could read you like an open book. he knew you were lying because he already knew what was going on. the signs of an eating disorder were quite obvious when you were a licensed therapist. and despite your futile attempts at hiding it, everyone could tell something wasn't right.

steve played it by ear for weeks until he contacted natasha, but by then you'd already lost a considerable amount of weight. as soon as she heard the news, natasha booked the next flight home. unfortunately for her though, there was only one flight and she would have to wait two and a half weeks before being able to leave.

you didn't know it, but those were the longest two and a half weeks natasha ever had to wait.

– patients were having group therapy, so you could tune them out - not that you should, but it was hard to focus when the only two things you could think about were food and your weight.

the need to lose weight sounded so stereotypical for someone with an eating disorder, but honestly it wasn't about that. it was never about wanting to be thin. you genuinely didn't know why this was happening. the only thing you noticed was how rewarding it felt seeing the number go down, as if for you were good for becoming less. it was addictive. and it didn't help that you based your entire worth on how much you could lose.

the next time you stood up from behind the nurses station steve met you in the the cafeteria. while the patients ate you took occasional sips from your smoothie. the bottle was still full of its contents from the morning. you had completely forgotten to drink it during the day, but you didn't seem to mind it that much.

the surprise touch of steve's hand on your shoulder startled you.

i am gross, you thought. do not do that.

steve caught onto the slight flinch your body produced as a reflex, but he didn't say anything about it.

"you can leave early, boss said so."

he laughed as he saw confusion plaster your face.

"what? no!"

"go home, seriously. we have this handled. you know tony doesn't like being told no."

you bit your lip, puzzled by the sudden request. most people wouldn't mind being sent home early, but all it did for you was give you a level of anxiety reserved for food.

what you didn't know was that natasha was home waiting for your arrival. she came back just short of an hour after you left for work.

while you were gone natasha made a few thorough rounds in the house looking for key signs of your eating disorder. there was bound to be evidence given that you didn't know she was home.

unsurprisingly, natasha found a glass scale beside the counter of the bathroom floor along with empty bottles of laxatives in the trashcan. the food in the fridge had been expired a few days past their date, giving her the indication that you weren't eating as much as you should be. her concern grew even more when she found your food journal on your nightstand. flipping the pages, natasha could see that throughout the moths she'd been gone your calorie intake had decreased significantly.

guilt began to gnaw at the back of her throat.

during the few days natasha stopped by, she hadn't noticed anything wrong with you. but then again she knew most people with eating disorders were very good at hiding them up until the point they were discovered. three days wasn't near enough time for her to catch onto your tricks, not when her mind was still focused on her job.

natasha always listened intently whenever you would talk about your eating disorder, the first time being six months into the relationship on a date you felt like you had ruined.

but talking about it was much different than experiencing it with you, natasha had never done that before up until now. she read nearly every article there was about anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorder and ednos. sometimes when you were asleep she would watch documentaries on the disorder, always making sure to keep her volume at a low level.

the videos that hurt her the most were the ones teenagers struggling with the simple task of eating food.

(although natasha knew it wasn't that simple.)

it hurt because she knew that was you at some point in time.

upon your arrival, natasha cooked dinner. she wanted to hold onto the one sliver of hope that steve was wrong - that he was just overreacting - but she knew in her heart he was right about his assumption. however, dinner would only confirm what natasha so desperately wanted to deny.

when you walked through the door you were greeted with the overwhelming scent of food. you cringed at the thought of having to eat, but as soon as you looked up to see the redhead who'd been gone for so long your frown was washed away. a wide smile overtook your face and you rushed to jump into natasha's arms.

"i missed you so much," you whispered. "i thought you'd be gone for another few weeks?"

natasha's arms found their way around your waist as your legs wrapped around hers. "what? i can't come home early to surprise my wife?" you giggled in the crook of her neck. she smiled feeling the vibrations against her skin, happy to know that you'd missed her just as much as she missed you.

she sat you down, back facing you, she tended to the food. "you've lost weight," she commented, not missing the sharp inhale of your breath.

"how was work, nat?"

she nodded to herself. yeah, she didn't expect you to be so open on the first try.

"it was fine. dinner's ready, i made your favorite!" natasha threw a smile in your direction as she carried the plates over to the table. she had hoped to see your face light up the way it used to, but seeing the panicked look in your eyes further confirmed your relapse.

if nothing else, natasha wanted you to have a meal before she brought up the conversation.

"great... i love it, thank you nat!" your attempt at being enthusiastic failed miserably and you knew by the look she gave you, she already knew what was going on.

but throughout the meal, and despite the shakiness of your hand as it gripped the metal fork, natasha didn't say anything.

you weren't really sure which was worse; being confronted or knowing the both of you knew what the other was thinking and still not addressing it.

natasha's meal was good, you couldn't lie about that, but each bite you chewed caused the tightening in your chest to constrict further.

now you couldn't be good. or worthy. or deserving.

nat took away your plate when you were halfway through. she knew your limits, and she didn't want to push you too much out of your comfort zone.

"go change, i'll wash our dishes. meet you on the couch?"

you did as you were told, taking as long as you could to do so. except this time was different. you didn't glance in the mirror like you usually did, you chose to fully take in your figure.

what you saw was not what you expected to see. for the first time in months you saw a version of yourself that wasn't twisted and turned to be something you didn't know was real or not.

your skin was dry, hair thinned out beyond your belief, eyes sunken and dark underneath. the revelation gave you an odd feeling – was once again something unexplainable, unjustifiable by words.

good.

that was how you were supposed to feel, right? after all of this time, after the many pounds of protection and warmth lost, you were supposed to feel good.

but you didn't. and you never would.

there was something so surreal about the realization of your own destruction. you were aware now, which meant you had to either take responsibility or choose to lose everything you worked so hard for.

"y/n?"

your wife's voice snapped you out of your gaze and you scrambled to pile your dirty clothes and rush out of the bedroom.

as you made your way into the living room you could feel the intensity of natasha's gaze. any other time you would not mind her green eyes looking at you, but this time around you felt like you were in trouble.

she patted the empty spot next to her, to which you reluctantly joined. but even after everything you still tried to play it cool.

"what's up? is everything okay?"

she gave a low chuckle, "you tell me."

"what do you mean?"

"oh i think you know what i mean."

natasha’s reply was met with the loudest silence you ever had to sit through.

she bit her lip, "you know i got a call from steve a few weeks ago. he's concerned about you, and from what he's told me so am i."

you were quick to respond, automatically knowing what steve’s phone call was about. "i'm fine. so what if i've lost a couple of pounds? that doesn't automatically mean that im relapsing, natasha."

your quick snap reminded natasha that this kind of confrontation was like walking on eggshells.

she tilted her head, licking her lips. "i'm here with you, always." nat put a hand to the side of your face, gently rubbing her thumb at the top of your cheekbone. "i'm here."

it seemed pointless now to try and say anything because your secret was already out.

your mind began racing back and forth.

you wanted to keep what you knew best and natasha understood that. even by reading your body language she knew what you were debating.

"you know, to keep it you have to give it away." your eyes darted to meet hers. "mhm. you can still have that piece of you. mourn it, grieve it, do whatever you need to do to move onto a stage where it doesn't hurt you. and from there you can help other people, share your experience, let yourself heal by helping others."

she paused, “we all have choices. some of those choices are taken from you while others leave you with only one option.”

although what she said seemed to resonate with you, there was one thing still holding you back.

"i just want to be good."

natasha hummed. you had explained it to her in the past, though your words were jumbled together as you tried to describe it.

"you can be good in other ways. you're allowed to live a life outside of the barriers your eating disorder puts in the way."

you swallowed the lump in the back of your throat. "i don't even know how it got to this point. in january i enjoyed ihop and dennys. in february i could have oatmeal and bananas, sometimes half of a sandwhich if i was feeling brave. now it’s march and i only eat one or two things a day. the idea of having a full meal makes me want to cry. and i just- i don't know how to stop."

natasha wouldn't show it, but your words cut through her heart like a knife. her mind wandered briefly to all the teenagers in the documentaries she'd watched, hoping you weren't too far gone into your eating disorder to ever come back. those cases scared her the most.

"you've got my complete support. you've tackled this before, maybe this time you can beat it? i know its easier to abuse your body instead of growing comfortable in it, but i think you’ve got this. i know you do."

"what about your work?" your question caused natasha to frown. "you think i wouldn't set my job aside for you?" you shrugged, it's not like you felt like you were worth being taken care of anyway.

natasha grew hesitant to tell you her news, but did it anyway because she’d rather you hate her than see you dead. "i've already made some appointments for you. the first one is tomorrow morning."

"i figured you would natasha. it's okay."

you spaced yourself out the rest of the day. each time you made the executive decision to recover, whether that be a genuine recovery or not, the process never failed to remind you that even trying to recover from an eating disorder felt like mourning the loss of a friend who was never good for you in the first place.

[oldbaton]

to be honest, since the 20th anniversary of kingdom hearts is this week i've been thinking about like. WHY is this game still going. because like it shouldn't. i think what keeps people going with what is objectively the dumbest thing in the history of video games is how genuinely sincere the series is. like if one series has done anything to create more barriers to entry its kingdom hearts. beyond its bonkers premise: the plot is unintelligible 50% of the time, the names of the games make is difficult to understand what the game exactly is until you play it, THE FUCKiNG MOBILE GAME IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT AND CANNON, and like the list goes on. But i think the series is so earnest it is genuinely disarming. tbh ive seen few video games series inspire as deep affection for the characters as kingdom hearts has and i think that is why we love this dumb stupid idiot thing. i would go so far as to say i havent seen a major long running series have the same heart that kh has. and also i would be lying if im not always waiting on pins and needles for the next "riku they put bugs in him"/"did someone say the door to darkness"/goofy death scene . it's. just so damn loveable.

and the score goes off.

[shartlord420]

Okay sorry but i gotta rant,your analysis really made me think i will leave you alone

(Your writing is very good btw)

So thats literally how i felt his actual motive were, it was just genuine pent up frustation he most likely kept inside for years

But that year, his life spiraled completely out of control ; he had to change locantion,probably had break up with his former gf (assuming he had one) and all of that just to be treated poorly PLUS a freaking god give him a power he couldnt even bear

So, with all frustation, loneliness and misery he probably felt like he needed to have control over something or someone again, and in that case it was Mayumi (im not sure thats her name im sorry) but it could be anyone, he would just invent some other excuse to get himself out of that mess

Okay im done, just needed to get this out of my brain

LITERALLY!!!!!!!!!

also imo i doubt he had a girlfriend i personally think he was lying sorry adachi but, i just, either it was the most shallow and meaningless short lived relationship in the world or it doesnt really mix with his primary issue which is that......... he doesnt prioritize forming and nurturing relationships in his life because thats how he was raised.

adding a readmore yet again because YET AGAIN i have "cant shut up" disorder

i just cant imagine him, especially before things crashed and burned (and especially when headcanoning him as comphet lol), going out of his way to date. dialogue with him just feels very like. transparent about the fact that he likes the surface level idea of having a girlfriend (someone who cooks and cleans for him and reflects well on him socially? fantastic, thanks) but finds the actual idea. like. tiresome. (gestures at his "marriage is where happiness goes to die" thing)

i just dont buy it, adachi......... i dont think your ex girlfriend is real..... that entire conversation just screamed "uhhh, yeah, im totally into girls! i had a girlfriend once. she was [checks smudged writing on hands] pretty and cooked for me. like, so attractive, trust me. dont look into this"

BUT EITHER WAY

yeah. no, he had very clear motivations without the incel thing. like???

atlus: okay so this character has immense pent up rage at the world, is desperate and impulsive and at a point in his life where he feels like he doesnt really have anything to lose (cough until he realizes he does with the dojima family cough) but man for what reason could we say he killed this woman?

atlus:

atlus: he wanted to fuck her!!!!!! :D

ATLUS IT WAS ALREADY ALL RIGHT THERE. HE DIDNT NEED A MOTIVE HE ALREADY HHHHAD ONE

and also. all the things he said to mayumi and saki feel very... like. are those things he genuinely felt/thought?

or were those hurtful things that other people circulated as rumors that adachi would have both heard and would have known would be extremely likely to piss them off and therefore work as a caveat for justification of him tormenting them- because, i mean, he was just asking a few innocent questions! theyre the ones who started the aggression.

its poking the bear!!! same with SAYING all of this to yosuke, who very blatantly had feelings for saki, adachi is PHENOMENALLY skilled at knowing exactly what to say to make people want to punch him and he does so REGULARLY because he finds it funny.

gestures at his interactions with dojima!!! gestures at the scene in arena ultimax where he gets pissed off at the cop and so he intentionally provokes the man with what he know will piss him off!!!! hes calculated!!! he KNOWS what hes doing. he plays dumb. hes just a dick because its funny!!! why would this be any different?

okay im done ranting (for now lol)

everytime i finish rambling i look back and go "oops! wasnt supposed to be THIS long"

[cupidhaos]

just how much i love you

pairing: hong jisoo x gn reader

word count: 3.2k

genre: fluff, slice of life, established relationship, non idol au

summary: you recall each time you realized just how much joshua loved you and decide to return the favor

warnings: mentions of illness

song rec: better | jeremy passion

a/n: YOOO im a day late i meant to post this yesterday for shuas bday but then it completely slipped my mind and i forgot that time was a thing and i was like CRAP so then i was like u know what ill post it tmrw bc i mean its technically still his bday and hes a from america so it still counts anyways enjoy this tooth rotting fluff 

you already knew that joshua meant the world to you - yet there are just some certain moments that come to mind when you think back on it.

one of the first moments that you thought of was when he was playing the guitar.

“whatcha writing down there?” you ask curiously as you leaned over joshua’s shoulder, trying to take a peek at whatever he was scribbling down on his journal. as you rest your chin on his shoulder, you wrap another arm around his neck. a silent chuckle leaves joshua’s lips as he slowly closes the book - pushing it off to the side “nothing that you need to know of just yet”

pouting, a whine leaves your lips as you shake his shoulders back and forth “aw c’mon shuaaa - you’ve been sitting here all day playing your guitar and you won’t even let me know what you’re doing”

he moves to the side a little so that he was able to get a good look of your face. setting his guitar down on the table in front of him, he motions for you to sit down with him. once he realizes you won’t budge as long as that pout on your lips was there, he stands up to wrap an arm around your waist - pulling you over the couch as you loudly yelped in surprise.

joshua places you onto his lap as he sits back down. securely wrapping his arms around your waist as he looks up at you with large, apologetic eyes “i’m sorry - were you getting lonely without me?” he teases.

all you could do was scoff in response which joshua just laughs at. its quiet for a second before he speaks up again “i can’t let you see it just yet. it’s a surprise”

“can i at least have a hint?”

he smiles at your question, reaching over to grab his guitar that he left on the table. he places it on your lap, leading your hands to hold onto it with his own. you were glad he wasn’t able to see the blush that covers your cheeks as he guided your hands to the guitar chords.

leaning over your shoulder to look at your hands, you can feel his hot breath graze your neck, which causes goosebumps to spread through your body “place your finger right here on this chord, and just strum lightly - exactly like that”

after teaching you a couple more chords, he pulls his hands away from yours, causing a wave of disappointment to wash over you. turning to look up at him, you give him a curious look “what was that for?”

he just shrugs as he moves himself towards the end of the couch, a sly smile on his face the entire times. opening up his notebook, he starts skimming through the pages “just chords for the song that i’m writing”

“song?”

“mhm - for you”

your face immediately turns red at his response “what?! you’re writing me a song?! why!”

he gives you a look of genuine confusion “do i need any other reason asides from the fact that i love you? anyways - it’s not ready yet so you’re just gonna have to wait” was all he said before getting up and leaving.

“wait! you can’t just say that and leave!” you call out after him as he laughs.

“i just did!”

that was the first time you had realized just how much joshua loved you.

“y/n… whats that in your jacket?”

you freeze from where you stood in the tiny apartment that the two of you shared. it was raining outside, and you were drenched from head to toe. joshua gives you a questionable look as he crosses his arms, cocking up one of his eyebrows.

you slowly look up as you clutch your jacket to your chest, a dumb look on your face “my jacket? theres nothing in it other than me, myself and i” you reply back. his eyes squint towards you as you try your best to avoid his gaze “you sure?”

as you open your mouth to respond, you were cut off with a bark coming from inside of your jacket. moments later, a small puppy pops up from your jacket - wiggling its way out of your arms and jumping onto the floor. a sheepish look covers your face as you lean down to pick up the puppy “okay maybe i was lying”

joshua doesn’t even look shock at the news, only a tired sigh coming from his lips “i thought you were going to get groceries”

you kick your shoes off and you hold the puppy closer to your chest “i know i said that but! look at him shua! isn’t he so cute!” you ask him as you walk towards your boyfriend. he looks down towards you and the dog in your arms as he chuckles “you know that you can’t just pick up stray dogs and bring them home right?”

your shoulders slump at his reply, a pout forming on your lips “i mean i know that… but he was all alone in the rain and he looked so sad… i couldn’t just leave him there!”

he nods in understanding, wrapping his arms around your waist to pull you closer “i know you had good intentions - but have you ever considered that our little friend has an owner already?”

turning towards the side, you pull the dog in closer “well they just left him outside all alone in the rain they’re obviously not a good owner” you say under your breath.

joshua points towards the dogs neck “isn’t that a collar? have you checked if they belonged to someone?”

“no… but!”

“we can’t just steal someone else’s dog - they may be upset right now”

a sigh leavings your lips as you lean forward to rest your head on your boyfriend’s shoulder “i know… but he’s just so cute!”

“i know he is, but he isn’t our dog. how about this - after we return him lets go to the shelter and see if we can get our own?”

you gasp loudly as you quickly turn to look up at him, eyes wide and filled with hope “really! do you mean it!”

joshua nods, a soft smile on his face “of course - but we still have to return him first okay?”

you nod your head quickly, noticing the fond smile that joshua aims towards you “what? what is it?”

all he does is shake his head, brushing off the question “nothing, you just look really cute right now” is what he tells you - quickly causing your face to heat up. he places a hand on your forehead as he leans in close, causing your breath to hitch.

“you feel warm - lets go change your clothes before we go back out. we wouldn’t want you getting sick do we?” he tells you as he pulls you on your head, dragging you towards your bedroom. you just nod shyly in response to his question as he laughs quietly at your reaction.

that was the second time you had realized just how much joshua loved you.

“joshua stay back! i don’t want you to catch -” you suddenly stop your sentence as you felt a sneeze coming up. quickly burying your face into your elbow, you let out a loud sneeze. joshua shakes his head at you as he pushes you back down onto the bed “shh, just let me take care of you”

feeling weak, you’re unable to even fight back “you’re always taking care of me though - it’s my fault that i got sick in  the first place…”

joshua nods his head in agreement despite the offended scoff that leaves your lips “it is in fact your fault. i told you to dress warmly and bring an umbrella, and what did you do?”

“i didn’t dress warmly…”

“what else?”

“or bring an umbrella when it rained…”

he hums in acknowledgment as you places a wet towel on your forehead “i would say i told you so, but i think that you’ve learned your lesson”

a small frown appears on your face as joshua continued to scold you. you open your mouth to say something, but felt a pang in your head, causing a look of discomfort to now show on your face. a flash of worry appears on joshua’s features as you groan in pain “take it easy okay? don’t push yourself” he tells you as he hands you some medicine.

you place in the medicine in your mouth as you reach for the water, joshua’s already one step ahead of you. he brings the water up to your lips before you can even protest, helping you drink. once he pulls the cup away, you frown immediately “you don’t need to take care of me - you’ll get sick too”

he just shrugs at your comment though as he places the cup back down “i’m your boyfriend - why wouldn’t i take care of you?”

you’re about to retort back before he cuts you off with a quick kiss on the lips. you gasp loudly as you look at him in horror “joshua!”

joshua just laughs at your reaction “you can pay me back when i get sick by taking care of me. besides - if i wasn’t here to take care of you who would be?”

you’re unable to think of a response as joshua wraps his arms around you to pull you in for a hug “don’t worry y/n - i’ll always be there to take care of you” he reassures, causing your shoulders to relax.

a week later, joshua catches your cold.

“i told you that this would happen.” you scold him as you bring a spoon of soup up to his lips. he just smiles cheekily at you as he sits warm in bed “i told you you’ll be paying me back. but you don’t need to take care of me either - i was just joking really”

a light laugh leaves your lips at his comment. you place the bowl down and turn to look at him, grabbing his face with your hands “and like you said - i’ll always be there to take care of you too”

his face turned from surprised to one filled with adoration quickly as he gives you a toothy smile “then we’ll be taking care of eachother until we’re old and wrinkly”

that was the third time you had realized just how much joshua loved you.

“did you make these cookies yourself y/n?” seungcheol asks as him and jeonghan take a bit out of the cookies that you just baked. you nod your head excitedly as you await for their responses “i did! what do you think?”

before anyone could say anything, jeonghan opens his mouth to spit out the cookie “what did you even put in this? poison?”

you frown at his comment as you turn to look at seungcheol “they can’t be that bad!” you retort, but the look of disgust on seungcheol’s face tells you otherwise. he places the bitten cookie back down as he looks at you with wariness “why is it… so salty…”

“what are you even talking -” you start off as you grab a cookie from the cooling rack, but you stop yourself once you take a bite - a bitter taste of salt filling up your mouth. you quickly spit it back out as you now understand what your friends meant “why is it so salty!”

jeonghan shakes his head at you as he picks up one of the cookies to inspect it “maybe you put in the wrong ingredient when you were making it?” this comment makes you gasp as you come to realize your mistake.

“i think i mixed up the salt and the sugar!”

both of your friends give you looks of pity as you drop your head into your hands “this is horrible how am i supposed to give them to joshua now! i spent the last three hours for nothing!” you groan. seungcheol claps his hands together as he thinks of an idea “i know! lets throw them away before he gets home! then he’ll never know of your failure!”

raising your head from your hands, you give seungcheol a deadly glare which causes him to freeze in his chair “was it necessary to say it like that”

before any other ideas are thrown, the sound of the front door opening is heard - causing the three of you to panic.

“i’m home!” a familiar voice calls out, and before any of you were able to even touch the cookies - joshua has already entered the kitchen “oh! seungcheol! jeonghan! what are you two doing here?”

“well you see, y/n here wanted us to try her oh so amazing and delicious cookies that she’s worked so hard on” jeonghan explains, a devilish look in his eyes. seungcheol sighs once he realizes what jeonghan was planning and joshua just looks surprised.

he turns to you with a curious look on his face, glancing back down at the cookies on the cooling rack “you made cookies y/n?” he questions and all you can do was nod sadly “i was planning on surprising you with them when you came home but -”

“y/n spent hours working on these wonderful cookies just for you shua - why don’t you try some?” jeonghan presses on to which joshua nods. you glare at jeonghan who just gives you mischievous look back. as joshua reaches over and grabs a cookie, panic settles inside of you,

“look you really don’t have to -”

“these are great!”

you pause from where you stood and jeonghan and seungcheol both have the same confused look on their faces as you. joshua gives you a genuine smile as he takes another bite out of the cookie in his hand.

“they’re - wait what did you say?”

he nods as he continues to eat it - no sign of hesitation or lie on his face “you did great on them baby! thank you for the cookies” he tells you, leaning over to place a kiss on your forehead. you just stand there confused as he ultimately finishes up the cookie before grabbing another one.

jeonghan and seungcheol share a look with each other before turning back to joshua.

“you really think they’re good?” seungcheol asks warily which joshua nods in response to “of course i do - anything that y/n makes from scratch is good”

you felt your heart flutter at his response as you just stare up at him with wide eyes. jeonghan stares at joshua intently as he watches him eat another cookie “don’t you think theres anything off about it? maybe it tastes a little - salty?”

joshua pauses from eating the cookie and you hold your breath as you wait for his response. he just shakes his head though as he continues to eat the rest of the cookie “hm, its a little bit salty - but i still like it anyways”

as he finishes off the salt cookie, he excuses himself and tells you that hes going to go change first and be right back. you nod in response and the three of you wait until he finally leaves the kitchen. once you realize hes out of range, all three of you turn towards the cooling rack - each shoving a piece of cookie in your mouths.

as if on cue, you all spit the cookie back out. seungcheol grabs a napkin and tries to wipe the taste out of his mouth “either joshua’s a really good liar and was trying to get back at hannie - or theres something off about his tastebuds.”

jeonghan nods in agreement as he throws away the leftover cookie that he had onto a paper towel “i have no idea how he was able to eat three of those biohazards without even flinching”.

“its literally a salt cookie what is wrong with him” seungcheol questions as he grabs a glass of water for him and jeonghan. as jeonghan reaches to take the glass of water from seungcheol’s hand, he shakes his head. 

“theres no way he actually found that edible - he must’ve just lied so he wouldn’t hurt y/n’s feelings”

you just stare at the cookies in shock as you realized that joshua ate your cookies no matter how gross and salty it tasted - just because you made them. a soft smile slowly appears on your face as you recall watching him eat the cookies you made - going as far as complimenting and thanking you for them.

that was the fourth time you had realized just how much joshua loved you.

“guys shh!” someone says as joshua enters into his apartment that he shared with you. his eyebrows furrow together in confusion as he takes off his shoes and his coat.

“y/n? you there?” he calls out as he realizes just how dark the apartment was. he waits for you to answer and immediately fills up with worry once he doesn’t hear your reply. he’s about to take his phone out to call you, but is stopped once the lights suddenly turn on.

he covers his eyes as he tries to adjust to the brightness as loud pops suddenly filled his ears. moving his hands from his eyes, he is then met face to face with you holding a birthday cake along with the rest of his friends. confetti falls onto him as more party poppers were released.

“happy birthday joshua!”

his eyes widen in shock once he realizes what was going on. a wide smile covers his face as he looks behind you to see his friends holding confetti poppers as well as a large banner saying ‘happy birthday shua!’ on it. looking around, he realizes the rest of the apartment was decorated as well. he then looks at the cake you were holding in your hands.

“did you do this all for me?” joshua asks you in disbelief. you nod your head as you smile back at him “of course i did! why wouldn’t i?”

joshua just shakes his head though, the smile never leaving his face “i totally forgot it was even my birthday today”

his friends just laugh at his reply as one of them points towards you “you should thank y/n! they were the one to plan all of this!” he looks back at you as you turn your head away from him sheepishly “did you really plan all of this for me?”

you nod your head shyly as you feel his gaze now on you “i mean… yeah… it’s really not that big of deal…”

somehow, the smile on his joshua’s face grew ten times bigger. he leans down and gives you kiss on the top of your head “thank you y/n, it truly means the world to me”

shaking your head though, you look at him with a soft smile on your face “i just wanted to show you just how much i loved you since you do it to me all the time” you reply back, causing joshua to laugh in response.

“you don’t have to do anything - i already know how much you love me.”

m.list