#so ig they can be whatever u want idc anymore

[jeffbytes]

himbo blonde TV star X fat nobody from england 🇺🇸🌴🇬🇧 hollywood's next dramatic headline

shit chatting and WIPs under cut (i really liked the sketch 🤷‍♂️)

naw but ive been wanting to draw anthro Bolt and dog Jeff for ages 💛 idk why i went all out on this, i didnt even like how the flat colour looked in comparison to the sketch ohhhh thats probably why huh. ok

classic Jeff move - make no proper art for actual months i think, drop one banger that's not anything i actually planned to make, then dip again for a few months byeeee

[fortunatefool]

Not to date myself but sometimes in the middle of a crisis u get to hear Pursuit of Happiness (Nightmare) by Kid Cudi featuring MGMT and Ratatat, Steve Aoki Remix and feel joy for the first time in a week and a half

[chiistarri]

i hate change id rather die

[avianyuh]

masterlist

***this masterlist took forever because I had to scroll through SIX YEARS worth of work. this is the most updated masterlist on my page so use this one if you need navigation :) ***

Who I write for:

-BTS💣

-NCT🟢 (mainly anyone that was apart of NCT 2018, but if you want WayV, I can do that!)

-Seventeen💎

-EXO❌⭕️

-Enhypen -

-Monsta X 🫡 (but I'm emotionally scarred from Wonho so idk...)

UPDATE 02/28/2024: girlies i have nothing to say about ATEEZ anymore, it's just not gonna happen so I took them out of the ML😥sorry. BUT, I will now be adding *some* second gen groups because the fics are LACKING. I already said in the past I would write for SHINee and I stand by that! I just don't have much to write for them atm. Does anyone want a BF!Minho? idk...Who wants SUJU? Well, it doesn't matter cuz I do😁 I will also add Jaejoong from TVXQ/JYJ, not the whole group for TVXQ cuz I'm really only familiar with him and Junsu. I will also start up again with EXO so keep a look out if you like those fics. Anyways, this was just a PSA I wanted to make.

UPDATE 08/2024: FUCK SUJU, no I'm just kidding but....I'm not writing for them lol. Also, I don't see Shinee happening either. HOWEVER, I am thinking of adding Enhypen to my list of groups I write for! I have only written one fic (specifically a Jungwon fic), I'm currently writing something else for Enhypen.

< >

🔍navigation help🔎

-If a group is crossed out it means I no longer write for them

-Please don't be afraid to request something. idc if it's anon or not. if you want something written, just send in a request :) it will encourage me to get to whatever group someone requested faster. as long as they're mentioned above, I'll write for them (only because I like to be familiar with the members so I can write accurate depictions of them)

< >

📢Upcoming Works🆕

🗓️ Boring chapter 6 (November 4-6th)

🗓️seventeen as boyfriend headcanon (November)

BTS:

BTS reactions:

🌱requested; bts reaction to you having diabetes and not taking care of yourself

🌱requested; namjoon taking care of his chronically ill girlfriend

🌱requested;BTS getting jealous over crush giving more attention to Yeontan or Bam

🌱requested; Giving BTS flower crowns

🌱requested: BTS accusing reader of leaking sensitive info

BTS HEADCANONS

🌱requested; BTS helping S/O with finals

🌱requested;BTS misses crush on tour but is too shy to confess

🌱request; BTS gets jealous and confesses to crush

🌱request; BTS comforts S/O who starts flunking exams

🌱request: BTS Suga, Taehyung, Jungkook and their pets

🌱requested: BTS as your brother

BTS AS BOYFRIENDS:

🌱Hoseok/JHope

🌱Yoongi/Suga

🌱Namjoon/RM

🌱Jimin

🌱Jungkook

One Shots;

🌱Dinner Date, Jeon Jungkook

🌱Time Off; Jung Hoseok

Fics;

🌱Boring | Min Yoongi Chapters; TWO THREE FOUR FIVE SIX

NCT: *in the process of finding new picture*

NCT headcanons;

🌱a soft day with nct part one (johnny through jungwoo)

🌱a soft day with nct part two (lucas through jisung)

🌱nct as boyfriends (johnny through jungwoo)

🌱nct as boyfriens (lucas through jisung)

🌱christmas with nct (johnny through ten)

🌱requested; how nct would confess to their crush (johnny through jungwoo)

NCT reactions:

🌱nct u reaction to meeting your parents

🌱requested; nct reaction to someone touching you inappropriately (johnny through mark)

🌱requested: NCT reaction to you asking to move in together

nct reaction to you thinking you're fat: 🌱yuta

🌱jaehyun 🌱mark

🌱taeyong 🌱johnny

🌱requested;NCT 127 commenting on GFs IG post

Individual member posts;

🌱dating jaehyun

🌱requested; dating mark

🌱requested; dating haechan

🌱requested; dating johnny

🌱dating lucas

🌱dating taeyong

🌱dating yuta

🌱requested; soft dom! winwin

🌱haechan request; idol reader

NCT MLTs;

🌱requested; NCT 127 MLT break up with current GF for their crush

🌱requested; NCT 127 give their ex a second chance

One Shots;

🌱making time;mark lee

🌱tattoos; Yuta Nakamoto

🌱'I'll Call You; Jaehyun' [part one] [part two] [part three] [part four]

🌱requested; Taeyong fic

🌱requested; Taeyong fic 2

🌱requested;NCT 127 group one shot

🌱deadline;Mark Lee

SEVENTEEN:

SEVENTEEN AS BOYFRIENDS:

🌱The8/Minghao

🌱Hoshi/Soonyoung

🌱Jeonghan

🌱S.Coups/Seungcheol

🌱Wonwoo

🌱Mingyu

EXO:

EXO headcanons;

🌱Oh Sehun as a boyfriend

🌱Baekhyun as a boyfriend

🌱a soft day with EXO (hyung line)

🌱a soft day with EXO (maknae line)

One Shots;

🌱insecure; Kai

🌱baekhyun request

🌱requested;baekhyun missing his ex

ENHYPEN:

Fanfics;

🌱Too Late; Yang Jungwon

🌱 Irresponsible | Lee Heeseung

MONSTA X:

MONSTA X AS BOYFRIENDS:

🌱Changkyun/I.M

SOLOISTS

Kim Jaejoong:

🌱Thank You For Waiting

Midnight Thoughts

*basically random posts where I share my thoughts about kpop and other things I find interesting.

September 2024

*PAST WORKS/GROUPS I DON'T WRITE FOR ANYMORE*

DAY6:

Day6 headcanons;

day6 as boyfriends

One Shots;

'I Love You'-Jae Version

'I Love You'- Young K

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

GOT7

GOT7 as boyfriends

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TWICE:

TWICE one shots

Requested: A Trip With Jeongyeon

BLACKPINK:

BlackPink headcanons;

Jennie As Your Best Friend

*NON KPOP RELATED/MY OWN ORIGINAL CHARACTERS;

Root Beer Float

[fairybaby777]

hey! It’s 💒 anon

i have a question lol

do you ever feel weird u manifested stuff into your life ? ( like yes yes ik we’ve always been manifesting ) like sometimes I wanna go back when I didn’t know anything about this stuff up j cuz everyone around me doesn’t consciously know it ?

like I can always manifest not knowing about it anymore yk but I felt like at sometimes this “ god complex “ shit is so messed up and definitely messed me up do u not realize that everyone around u contributes to you knowing about the law for example r, without your parents being comfortable you wouldn’t have the resources to access this info . at a point whenever I was mad at someone for whatever shit I was like in my head “ idc I can manifest this person dying if I want “ 💀💀 like WTAF was wrong w me , like definitely different ways of taking “ you are god “ use this wisely fr people like nah fr work on your self concept anyways the way to do that is whenever u think of sc j affirm “ my self concept is the best , it’s perfect “ or smth along those lines and boom . anyways don’t be like dah . Obviously people may have diff opinions maybe even completely disagree but yuh g o y o u ig this was all over the place omgg ok bye igtg .

~ 💒 anon

omg hi !!! yeah i kinda wonder what my thinking was like before learning about the law bc i forgot hahah. but idk sometimes i do miss the mystery of life and the unpredictability of it all. it can also sometimes feel isolating and strange knowing that everyone is you pushed out and everything is just an illusion. i find myself caring less about some things bc i know nothing matters and i have the power to change it — like for example my uni presentation today i was like eh im getting 95% anyway so who cares. ive personally never gone down the route of thinking i could manifest this person to die 💀 but each to their own ig . anyway, hope youre well !!!

[isabelisfun]

drag race commentary

i love denali sm

i mean i think elliott should’ve been in the bottom too-

i started thinking elliott was cute but she’s getting on my nerves again

ok tamisha i don’t think u really gotta make something out of kandy saying symone is her biggest competition

kandy’s makeup is so bad today i can’t i’m so sorry 😭

i really don’t care ab this fight like i like tamisha but i don’t think either of them are really in the right anyways new day in the werk room

lala is so cute

now who tf came up with this mini challenge-

no but plz fire the intern that came up with this because this is so strange

yayy it’s ball week! i love the ball

ooh this is olivia’s week with all of her little bags

i feel like elliott is not being very nice but they’re not showing it to paint kandy in a bad light

i’m obsessed with rosé and i’m not ashamed to admit it

aww utica is so sweet the way she’s helping lala is adorable

I DONT UNDERSTAND WHAT LALA IS SAYING BUT IM LIVING

no but i love mik. so much. an icon and she’s so nice to everyone

LALAS CONFESSIONALS ARE SO ENTERTAINING

AAH DORA THE EXPLORER WE LOVE HER

omg i love tamisha putting on a ball my favorite thing about this cast is seeing how much fun they have together

rupaul stfu ab the saboteur no one cares anymore

the way roop keeps having a heart attack over the littlest things it’s not that funny babe

mik is so cool

there hasn’t been enough denali and olivia this episode

who’s gonna tell joey what a lipstick lesbian is because i don’t think she understands the meaning

this coach promo i-

LMAO KANDY AND JOEY

it’s so important that they’re addressing blm

michelle with curly hair is my favorite thing

NICOLEEE I LOVE HER I NEVER WANT HER TO LEAVE THE PANEL

ok first category: denali’s look is cute she looks good, joey’s isn’t much but she looks good ig, lala’s look isn’t great but her beat looks great, elliott’s looks a little cheap but it’s pretty, tamisha’s is funny, symone’s is definitely something, i’m obsessed with olivias i love hot girls in boxing looks, mik’s is gooood, rosé looks stunning, tina’s is also good, kandy’s is fun she a magician up in here, utica’s is super good

category 2: denali looks super hot, joey’s is...boring, ok side note but these coach bags are so random like they don’t even match chile 😭, lala’s look itself is a little boring but she looks really good bald, elliott’s is fine whatever, i do love all these queens in suits i love a woman in a suit what can i say, tamisha's looks good, symone’s is cool, olivia looks like really good she looks hott, mik’s is STUNNING god she’s so beautiful, rosé’s is fun, tina is giving me very much bob the drag queen, kandy’s is like basic but also kinda hot, utica’s is good but i kinda expect more from her idk

category 3: denali looks good yet again, joey’s is not great but like she really does look good in a wig, LALA’S AAAAH THIS IS SENDING ME OH MY GOD IM GONNA CRY SHES SELLING IT THO AND I LOVE HER FOR IT, elliott’s look is fine i like the jacket but underneath is only mediocre, tamisha’s is cute she looks good, symone’s look itself isn’t great but she styled it well, olivia’s is super cute it’s very chromatica, mik’s is super cool and i’m obsessed with the mullet, rosé’s is also really good like it’s definitely a full vision, tina’s is uh very boring, kandy’s isn’t great but her hair is really cute, utica’s is really good and her makeup is also gorgeous

safe queens aren’t surprising at all

CARSON THEY WERE ALL BAG PUNS DID U MISS THAT ITS NOT POISON IVY I-

plz i love nicole sm

i disagree i think tamisha’s looks were good

i mean i agree with michelle ab tamisha’s beat being a little rough but i do not think she’s gonna like being told to ask the younger girls for advice

mik is so freaking talented

mik and rosé getting the PRAISE THEY DESERVE

woah utica’s fits her really well i didn’t even notice that but it’s really well constructed

i like joey cuz she is truly so stupid and i love that

lala’s look was iconic honestly idc

MIK WINNING AS SHE SHOULD YAYY WE LOVE TO SEE IT IM SO HAPPY

joey gurl- what are u doing

ok yah lala was like a lot better in that

but honestly that wasn’t a great lip sync song like-

i mean like joey was cute but i’m not crying or anything

[verannaca]

f2

Major Frozen 2 Spoilers Below!

You’d never be able to tell by reading this that I’m a whole-ass adult, AND a writer :’)

HERE’S SOME THOUGHT BLURBS

• Vuelie smacked with nostalgia holy sHIT • Pretty snowflakes proves this movie is Frozen • BABY ANNA • "wait, what?" • baby anna with attitude • snuggles • iduna/ERW has an amazing voice?? • "you'll be drowned" foreshadowing?? • Elsa freezes the railing and just awkwardly leaves it?? a queen • ANNNAAA • Anna and Olaf • Olaf being poetic?? • poor sweet anna isnt lonely anymore :') • SOOMMEE THINGS NEVER CHANGE this was catchy as heck • "holding on tight to you" that kristanna twirl SENT ME • "irredeemable monster" "greatest mistake of your life" "WOULDNT EVEN KISS YOU" • AURORA • Kristoff getting prepared to spend a LONG time in that room, if u know what im saying ;;;))) • bedtime snuggles and it's now canon that EA call each other "Darling" • anna representing women who drool n snore, and elsas a FUCKING MOUTH BREATHER • elsa's grumpy face >:(      (she’s so cute what the heck) • INTO THE UNKNOOOWWNNNN ft aurora • uh oh kingdom's in danger again THANKSELSA • KA helping the citizens as a true Queen and King would (sPOILERS) • "youve been hearing this voice and u didnt think to tell me" the offence is beautiful • elsa's pouty hesitation before she tells anna what happened • ELSA'S FACE the entire time KA & Olaf plan to go with her on the adventure, she was NOT having any of it • olaf being annoying for x minutes straight • anna ready to get dicked up on a sleigh ride even tho her sis is sleeping 5 feet away from her lmao MOOD • "crazy? you didnt say i was crazy - you think im c R A Z Y?" HER FACE SENT ME • kristoff bumbling everything RIP • aurora is back • elsa runs in heels through rocky land and somehow doesnt break her ankles, 10/10 (i mean anna did the same but it’s expected of her lmao) • olaf being annoying pt2 (sorry, he’s cute ig) • anna getting mad at the mist • anna walking towards the cliff to view the dam and looking like an autumn goddess • sven is a terrible wingman • "WE WILL DIE" good job kristoff • elsa not caring about anna's worry • olaf had a song here i think?? • WIND • elsa looks good when messy idc idc • "THAT'S MY SISTER" that's an outtake line from Frozen!!!! • surprise statues • anna rips a sword out of ice with her bare hands n no one thinks anything of it • northuldra ppl • honeymaren eyefucking elsa (we see u) • olaf's funniest scene lmao • "one with power, and one powerless" ANNAS FACE OF OFFENCE HAHAHAHA IT'S OKAY BB YOU HAVE THE POWER OF LOVE • "oh, anna" oh mattias, we feel u • fire spirit • ANNA COUGHING • BRUNNIIIIIII • bruni & elsa head tilts • "they're all looking at us, arent they" yes elsa because ur talking to a fucking salamander • anna gets mad cuz elsa gets mad cuz anna ran into fire cuz elsa ran into fire • iduna was northuldra (neat) • vuelie but different??? • kristoff made a friend!! • insecure anna + a mutual lacking communication = :( • a sad failed proposal • A SHIPWRECK¿? • this is v dark for disney holy shi • the horror in elsa's voice "what were they doing in the dark sea?!" • they watch their parent's final moments • the horror in iduna's voice "the waves are too high" • this is a kid's movie, yes? • elsa flees, anna follows • THE GUILT ohmygosh poor elsa :( • anna tries v hard, but i can only imagine her own agony??? she's tryna take care of elsa but who's taking care of anna?? :(((( • elsa becomes manipulative?? JUST EXPLAIN THAT IT'S DANGEROUS AND REQUIRES MAGIC • elsa does the thing • anna and olaf are v angry (same) • anna loses her cloak & shows her beautiful jacket?? thank u anna • DARK SEA • elsa battles the ocean that swallowed her parents • Nokk tries to drown her?? dragging her through the water by her hand was INTENSE • i know she doesnt get cold n thats fine but damn homegirl must REALLY workout at home (the shoulders prove it) but she swam for how long and didn't lose energy??? • SHOW YOURSELF I CRIED • the ice was so beautiful and she looked so free n happy, loose hair n no shoes • the song was amazing holy heck • IDUNA WAS THE SIREN, I CALLED IT, HELLO THANK U • elsa's literally like "ok boomer" at her grandfather who's an ass • she goes too far into ahtohallen • inappropriate but ohmygod the ice detail on her skin when she was freezing was crazy??? her hair got whiter n all that BUT THE SNOWFLAKES ON HER SKIN, that was unbelievable • surprise surprise old white guy in power kills innocent poc • elsa freezes like anna did, cuz anna was frozen and elsa is frozen 2 (heh) • back to the cave with anna and olaf • anna knows what has to be done to set things right because she’s the hero and always has to make the painful sacrifices • anna sets off to do whats right but OLAF • rip olaf • anna sits in the cold ALL FUCKING NIGHT DID ANYONE ELSE NOTICE THAT, I AM NOT OKAY • the next right thing B R O K E me. kbell captures such agony so beautifully ohmygod, it was incredible. easily the best song in the franchise. • "SO I'LL WALK THROUGH THIS NIGHT, stumbling blindly towards the light" her voice • anna finds her courage to leave the cave • "when it's clear that everything will NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN" CAN YOU HEAR ME SOBBING AT THE ABSOLUTE ANGUISH IN HER VOICE • this woman has lost everything and SHES STILL GOING, YES ANNA, GO • giants!!! • anna mimicking the behaviour she was against for most of the movie • "I'M HERE, WHAT DO YOU NEED?" this is so important • no questions asked, this is what's happening, kristoff is the real mvp • mattias lets anna destroy the dam • anna becomes suicidal?????? girl stop i- • the dam falls • ANNA ALMOST FALLS- • wait mattias has her • and kristoff has her!! • and she looks ready to keep crying now that the adrenalin is gone • ELSA THAWS but does she REALLY do the right thing??? idk i think she should've let the wave destroy whatever was in its path, otherwise whats the point? wouldve had better symbolism • the Northuldra people are free and happy but poor anna is still sad :( idk why people were saying she got over elsas death too quickly when homegirl was never gonna smile again • "i'm sorry i left you behind. i was just so desperate to protect her." • "it's okay. my love is not fragile." • anna tries to continue on, imagine what was going through her head AHHH • wait there she is • e l s a • on a horse • anna slides down the cliffside, elsa slides off that horse in a v godly manner • ANNA REPRESENTS WOMEN WHO UGLY CRY, THANK U ANNA • elsa is lowkey emotionless but honestly do we expect anything else from her by this point? (no shade hahahaha) • "a bridge has two sides, and mother has two daughters" yes thank u for making anna important • so is elsa a ghost now orrrr • WHO CARES, KRISTANNA PROPOSAL • we were v robbed of that kiss tho • anna's squeal of pure joy when asked • sven representing all of us • "do u wanna build a snowman" bitch it's been like 16 years, ur a bit late but OKAY • olaf is back • GROUP HUG • honeymaren wants elsa to stay "because it's where she belongs" ;;;;)))))) • elsa realises anna would be a better queen • QUEEN ANNA • Q U E E N  A N N A • YESSSSSS • we're robbed of the coronation but that's fine ig • kristoff in fancy clothes??? • "i prefer you in leather anyway" so anna is a top, nice to know • olaf's comment on kristoff probably not being able to "last an hour" ;;;))))) not if annas a top LMAO STOP • mattias found his person, congrats • anna is the people's queen • a statue is revealed, baby iduna is v cute • elsa is in the forest with bruni n everyone else • friday is gamenight • elsa rides off into the sunset i guess?? • THE END • oh and olaf has an ending scene • "elsa DEAD" • "olaf DEAD" • "anna cries" • everyone cries

okay thanks for reading lmao bye

[vergilboyfriend]

You should do all of them questions and 90 is true

I love you!!!!

1. Favorite instrument?

I work at a music store u can’t just ask me this. When my coworkers play it’s the saxophone or the flute, when the boys in the repair shop are testing repairs and they harmonize with each other or try to outplay one another it’s the bassoon or the trombone or whatever they’re fixing at the moment. When I hear 🎺 give his lesson on Wednesday afternoons it’s the trumpet, and when I think about middle school it’s the clarinet, the flute, the French horn. When I hear the nutcracker pas des deux is the oboe and when I hear edith piaf l’accordeoniste it’s the remarkable human voice. Really my favorite instrument is all of them, it just depends.

2. Favorite fic trope? Mutual pining 🥺

3. Sport you played for the longest amount of time? LMAO I wasn’t a sporty kid but I did ballet

4. Shoe size? 10-11

5. Most recent (good) dream? Uhh I had a dream last night about my coworker 🎹 it wasn’t bad though I can’t really remember what it was about

6. Last person in your DMs? smugg

7. Can you do a handstand? Nooo nooo lmaoo nooooo

8. Unpopular food opinion I don’t like oranges or red meat

9. Conspiracy you believe in? There’s some kind of weird weather dome in my hometown around the military base that makes most storms pass around us

10. Is your hair its natural color/style? Most of it is I dyed the bottom layer of my hair tho so it’s blonde rn

11. state a useless fact all that’s coming to mind is outright lies rn hold on. The inventor of pringles is buried in a pringles can that’s so fucking nasty omg

12. most interesting gossip you’ve heard? Idk I don’t really care for gossip uhhhh have u heard tho rin dippindogs is a huge gay hah she uhh she like men AND women lmao gaaay gaaaay

13. Middle name? Carolyn

14. Sexuality? Bisexual

15. Amount of sleep you got last night? Idk actually I think like 9-10 hrs tho I slept in until 11

16. Opinion on ice cream cake? Tasty!!!

17. Opinion on (cup)cake frosting? It’s depends buttercream is usually too sweet for me in large amounts so I prefer whipped cream frosting

18. Last board game you played? Idk??? We played hunt a killer tho last Thursday me n my family I guess that counts kinda

19. Project you want to start? I need ideas first baby

20. Project you’re working on right now? HAHAHAHAHAHA

21. TV show you’re watching? nothing rn I just rewatch bojack a lot if I watch anything

22. Last movie you watched? Lego batman I think

23. Ever left anon hate? Not legit hate

24. Ever left anon love? Yes all the time. Sometimes to strangers it’s my favorite thing to do

25. Best Disney movie? The princess and the frog

26. Best Pixar movie? Soul or Up I can’t decide

27. Best Star Wars? Um. Empire strikes back

28. Last thing you consumed? Fuit gumy

29. NoTP? Idk I don’t really hate ships unless they’re gross like pedophilic gross

30. story behind your (nick)name? When I was a fetus my great grandfather had a dream that my name should be Carolyn Marie but my parents were huge dweebs so they named me Marina after the actress of Deanna Troi in Star Trek. Idk about my nickname ive just always been Rina/Rin as long as I can remember

31. ice cream order? Lately it’s lemon sorbetto I know it’s SO high in sugar but I love it

32. describe your blog in <5 words I love you

33. how many blogs do you follow? 436

34. Describe your voice it depends usually I sound like a sick child but my customer service voice is really pleasant

35. Describe your smile it’s cute :)

36. What is the place you live known for? LMAOOO LMAO we have a military base nearby and like. I could go on abt that one but also like. There’s a lot of gang violence and a lot of the other consequences of poverty. People from the cities around us see us as “””ghetto””” or violent but it’s just. It’s more than that it’s always more than that. And idk what else there’s nothing really particularly special about this town except that we’re all here and not anywhere else

37. What is the place you’re originally from known for? (if they’re different)

38. pronouns? she/any idc

39. Languages you speak? English

40. first friend you made through tumblr? Idk. I probably don’t talk to them anymore :(

41. Person on tumblr you know in real life? my brother

42. First dog breed you think of shih tzu I have 2 next to me rn

43. room wall color? Purble!!!! The paint color is called grape juice that’s why I picked it!!!

44. Song that’s stuck in your head right now? It’s tricky to rock a rhyme to rock a rhyme that’s right on time it’s trickyyyyy

45. Favorite number? 5, 34

46. Color you associate with your name? Red

47. Favorite jolly rancher flavor?watermelon

48. Pets? 2 dogs rocket and groot and 4 cats loki danni who r from the same litter and we raised from kittens, miss kitty who we adopted from a shelter after my boy blue moon passed away and ben (his real name is Kylo Ren thanks to my mom but I refuse to call him that) he is my little baby and he has 7 toes on his front paws

49. Collections? Hot wheels

50. Character outside of your fandom you’d marry? Girl what lmaooo idk

51. Character outside of your fandom you’d kill? That’s mean :(

52. Have you met any celebrities? NO thank god id have to kill on sight

53. Favorite time period in history? Itslian Renaissance & Romantic Era

54. What time is it right now? 2:35 am oops

55. History or future? Future but like . A good one. Or prehistory

56. Space or ocean? Space

57. Fears? Abandonment

58. Command + v and post. It’s this list of questions u don’t want that

59. Favorite season? Spring

60. Describe your aesthetic. Messy just a mess, neon and old buildings and things, antiques, countryside if there weren’t so many trump pence flags still lmaoo give uppp give up, nature just al of nature and space and places humans can’t touch and places they used to touch but can’t anymore

61. MBTI? Infp but I haven’t taken it in a few years

62. What’s your relationship with your family like? Normal.

63. “Biggest fan” in your tumblr activity? I’m in mobile hold on acc to tumblr it’s akky

64. Favorite musical? Sweeney todd

65. Comfort book? Idk how to read 💔💔💔 wuthering heights tho

66. Comfort movie? Whisper of the heart

67. OTP? Girl idk

68. BroTP? Joey and Tristan yugioh

69. AUs or canon compliant? Canon ig idk

70. Opinion on the person who’s sending the ask? It’s an anon!! But I love them

71. FMK + 3 characters anon didnt leave any characters and I was going to say something very bad but I won’t

72. Dream date? I’ve wanted to do this for a while but ideally it would be after we’d been together a while maybe even engaged or whatever, I wanna go to like a Home Depot or a furniture store and pretend to be married and looking for house paints and furniture and plan what our home is going to look like I wanna do that so bad. But idk for a first/early relationship date i really want to go to the zilker botanical garden it’s one of my favorite places, we could also go to the natural gardener which is a plant nursery in Austin I really love it there too and it’s not that far from zilker.

73. Relationship status? Single

74. Ever dyed your hair? Do you plan to? Yes and perhaps. Maybe

75. Dream job/career? Idk anymore I used to have big girl goals and I haven’t had any in a while. But when I was younger I wanted to be a game warden

76. Favorite band/singer? Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky

77. Something that makes you soft/that you find adorable? My cats

78. The first thing you would do if you won the lottery? Buy a house

79. Are you superstitious? Yes

80. Character you project onto? Shizuku tsukishima

81. Fictional character you’ve had a crush on? Vergil devil may cry. Forever husband

82. Celebrity crush? LMAO

83. Person on here you’d date? my mutuals

84. Person on here you’d marry? 🥺 my mutuals

85. Person on here you’d throw into the void? Smugg

86. Other social media you have? I’ve got a photography insta that I barely use and a Twitter that’s just nintendo switch screenies that’s it

87. Finish the sentence: Due to personal reasons, ___________i will be passing away

88. Bad habit? I find it rlly hard to say no or like to say when and why I’m upset I don’t feel like for the latter I don’t feel like I should bring something that’s upsetting me up because I know I’ll get over it on my own and I don’t really trust myself to be upset about rational things. Idk I’m working on it

89. Three things you like about yourself? I’m hot, I’m kind, I’m resilient

90. Ily and you deserve the world I love you!!!!! YOU deserve it too!!!

[sorvns]

daringhq i love youuuuuuuuuuuu.. step back y’all im bouta come thru with the superior intro sorry ya obvs cant relate!! jk jk wassup lads im urayai ( or ya can call me uri for short idc ), im 18, she/her, and from bumfuck nowhere usa! y’all already know a hoe cant write an intro but im here anyway so what goes on?

basic details

park jimin, cismale, he/him. — you know soren byeon, don’t you? he’s the twenty-one year old junior who’s studying kinesiology and living in thayer hall. they used to be addie’s party buddy, but now they have been ignoring the fact that she’s gone and have focused on moving forward instead of grieving.

birthday? april 1st. why? lifes a joke!

full sleeve on his right arm that ends in a rose covering his hand with a chest piece currently in progress

ears and nose pierced but he doesnt always rock the nose

emotionally stable? no. financially stable? also no.

loves the finer things in life but can barely afford the free breadsticks at olive garden no tea no shade just fax

hes a snake who loves that 5 finger discount!

selfish but also too invested in people he cares for

impatient af like.. chile

middle child ya he was dealt only the best cards in life

loves space and conspiracy theories #wow so original rite..

gets rlly obsessive over projects hes def a perfectionist

plays soccer, hockey, and baseball and is here on an athletic scholarship

bisexual / bitter / bilingual 

ADAMANT — stubborn as shiiitttttt like fr.. once he sets his mind on sumn and believes hes completely right cant be wrong then theres no changin his mind! at all! even if he realizes later that he was wrong he’d rather lower himself into the grave than admit it. he’ll also argue with you til the ends of the earth until the bitch literally dont have vocal chords anymore!

CONFIDENT — i aint consider him the bellwether for no reason. he always carries himself with confidence which he gets from wearin nice clothes and accessories plus always bein well groomed ig? like his hair is always done, not a speck of dirt on his shoes, that type of shit. even when his hairs messy it was done that way he would never go outside lookin like a wreck!

IMPETUOUS — this bitch reckless af! he does things to benefit himself and only himself most of the time without taking into consideration other peoples feelings or how it might impact them. thats not to say that he doesnt regret it after but lbr he normally? doesnt? see: selfish. hes just tryna get ahead tryna get that coin tryna get him sum gucci slides!

PETULANT — sulky, bad-tempered, etc is soren thru and thru! and he aint afraid to take everyone down with him either. hes def the type to stir up drama ngl but he’ll back it up too and he aint afraid to throw hands! hes been in his fair share of fights and tbh now that hes twenty-one and his ass is allowed in bars y’all been knew hes been in more than one bar fight with tons to come!

background rundown

soren grew up in a middle class family with an older brother and younger sister in boston where his mom was a bank teller and his dad was a professor at boston u.

he has two nephews and a niece who are all children of his older brother and he rlly loves them more than ANYTHING!

he has a super strained relationship with his father.. he was hardly around when the kids were growing up and he was verbally abusive to everyone in the household besides sorens younger sister.

on the other side he has a great relationship with his mom who loves to paint and always encouraged the kids to pick up something creative as well. her husband didnt agree tho and made her quit in order to focus solely on her job and bein a housewife. 

as they got older the fights started becoming worse and worse until they finally decided to divorce when soren was fifteen. by that point tho everything that his father said was ingrained in his head so he continued livin his life tryna please him.

he was def more interested in art like his mother but he pushed that desire aside to excel in athletics instead. he was really into hockey and soccer in particular so he became the best he could at both of them until he graduated and was offered numerous sports scholarships.

thats how he ended up at audeo university majoring in kinesiology which is the study of the mechanics of body movements. 

its also where he fully started his life of partying, drugs, alcohol, and sex using all of them as coping mechanisms to fill the void.

hes the type of person who loves affection, loves bein the center of attention, and thats a recipe for disaster especially when it comes to actual committed relationships. 

because of the stress in his life he mostly started doin cocaine to keep his energy up when he hadnt had any sleep and was runnin on zero but he does experiment with many others. that one is just his drug of choice ig.

because of his hectic schedule he doesnt have time for a job which means money is.. scarce so he started takin money from peeps in order for him to send them nudes or wtvr they wanted thru snapchat for extra money but SHUT this is one of his secrets so not everyone can know lmao!

but the truth of the matter is that while he loves playin soccer and sports in general he just.. doesnt really want to anymore and he doesnt want his world to revolve around it. he wants to move to paris and become an artist but he also still has that deep-rooted need to impress his father and prove him wrong so fuq him ig!

other shit

i dont have like a set list of plots cause i suck but i’m truly down for whatever!! throw anything at me and i’ll most likely fill it! i’m especially into angst but i’d love some ride or dies, party buddies, adventure buddies, someone who goes out to bars with him and does some drunk karaoke, fwb.. literally anything! this bitch loves to plot but shes also bad at it lmao so just smash that heart if you want me to hit ya up or feel free to come to me instead!!

[wakatshi]

yes omg tell me all abt them!!! im here for the tea 💏💏 also we should go drinking together one day <333 dress up real cute and get fucked on cocktails 💔💔 what's your fav cocktail??? mine's honestly purple rain!!! also it looks pretty so that's a plus... did you guys go and see the sunrise? my friends are the exact same wanting to see it ahaha i have no doubt we'll be getting up early when we go on holidayyy!

also i dreamt i was with someone who i can only assume was an irl tooru </33 fuck im a new level of whipped this is so bad AKSJBA... but u n wakatoshi.... his literal rant abt how much he loves u... 🦋🦋🦋 get married already 🙄😒 u guys are too cute <3 oh but as long as u invite me to the wedding ofc 🐕‍🦺

UHHH OK SO i’m going out with this french guy on tuesday……… he’s here with work he’s such a grandpa just how i love my men 😍 he doesn’t have social media but i feel like he’s lying and i don’t trust him </3 he’s nice we’re gonna drink smth BUT he said he doesn’t know what he wants yet so idk i’ll see idc that much anymore i just want free drinks atp! and the other guy omg we met on tinder but,,,,, we don’t talk constantly he keeps replying to my stories every single day and trying to talk to me ik u’re obsessed with me boy stawp it❤️ and this other guy but idc abt him he’s my backup plan ig LMFAOSNND

call me basic or whatever but i love a good hugo.. i like it sweeter tho. i had 5 this weekend.. and and mojito/bellini. ok and aperol spritz if it’s not too bitter i hate bitter drinks ew BUT I’VE NEVER HAD PURPLE RAIN ): looks rlly cool tho omg i’ll try it next time for u pretty <333333 if u can’t have him irl at least u can dream of him 💔💔💔 i WISHHHHH when i dream of wakatoshi he always holds me in his arms i feel so safe ): i literally love anon so so so much if u see this i’m in love with u

[unrrrreliable]

06.01.2022

wow happy new year time fucking flies.

starting off by saying that turning was really wierd. actually lemme start by telling a little bit about my birthday

so on dec 1st at around 23:00 i started getting reeeally anxious lol. sitting on my bed, everyone asleep, restlessly checking the clock and couting the minutes. then the time finally came. 00:00. december 2nd 2021. 18 fucking years old. ik im making this really dramatic but idk, in my head it really wasnt a regular birthday (duh bc it isnt anyway im just writing this not to sound dumb) anyways. felt really wierd, 8teen playing on repeat ofc, finally not underage anymore? not that i was specifically waiting for this but idk felt really free ig. wierd sensation. anyways at like 1:30 i go to sleep and wake up at 7:30. thursday morning, dont have english class, yay 45 more min to do shit. come to school at 9:00, a girl in my class (with whom i never talk to) asks me if its my birthday, i say it is. she and her friend say happy birthday, actually a nice way to start it. now that i think about it she found it out bc she saw a friend of mines story (ill get to that later). i got to class, a bunch of classmates say happy birthday, teacher also does, everything is fine. then two classmates (girls) come in with a biscuit and a candle and start singing happy birthday lol. that was really sweet. break was eh, pretending to answer a bunch of happy birthday messages on my phone, in class. nothing special. but i mean i cant really complain. 

12:30, lunch time, i had organized to meet up with t, a and s. regular friend group - my only one -, actually we dont really meet up that often but yk its better than nothing.  (btw t and s are girls, a is a dude). i meet up with the girls and we wait for a who goes to another school. after a good 15min of writing him, calling him, he finally answers my friends phone call and says he cant come bc he busy. i pretended it was nothing but tbh i was really fucking hurt lol. i guess u can understand why, like he didnt even answer MY messages. like i get hes kinda wierd n shit but bro cmon u couldve at least answered. but whatever we go to mcdonalds n shit. kinda akward conversations but its fine. the most akward thing is that we all knew they were like the only ppl i could go out with, as in the only group of friends ig? but tbh that doesnt reeeaallly bother me.

fast forward to like 4pm, im at home playing the piano, have a small discussion with my mom bc i was rude to her - long story short, she really wanted to organize my birthday party but idk why that made me feel like an idiot so i said i would do it myself. she then told me that was one of the only things that sorta gave her pleasure, the feeling that she still has some kind of utility in the house now that my brother and i are growing up. when i said that i realized how much of a dick i had been. i apologize, she doesnt accept it (rightfully so) and i leave the house, say im going to the conservatory. i meet fernanda and we go buy some booze, just for the fun of it. it was really funny when the cashier looked at my id and was like “oh its today?? happy birthday!”. fernanda gave me a cheap terranova ripped jeans jacked which i think is horrible but idc. like at all. im just so grateful that she was there yk. ill get to that later on. so yeah my brother and mom got more mad than me for the jacket i got (bc it was ugly and probably cost like 5 francs) but again, i really didnt give a fuck. anyways it was nice meeting up with her. tbh i think shes my only real friend. i never told her that.

oh yeah small parenthesis but before meeting up w f i went to the therapist lol. not that it played a big role but yk just for the record.

so here is when it gets to the absolute fucking worst part. god even thinking avbout it makes me wanna fucking cry lol. idk if im being dramatic but idk so here you go:

theres this other best friend, which not is just a friend: maria. i call her marussia because she likes it, and idk it has some personality. so we met in prima, classmates. she had just arrived form ukraine and spoke very little italian, so me kinda relating to her i decided to befriend her, also bc she really seemed like a nice person. not that she isnt, well acc she isnt perfect but whatever. funny enough she was actually the one that first started a conversation. so yeah we built up a really good friendship, we used to have this whatsapp groupchat with 3 other ppl, with which we dont really talk a lot anymore. so the pandemic came but we still kept in touch, the summer, no more quarantine, we used to go out like all the time bc nobody was going anywhere lol. so yeah summer was ok, we were good friends n shit. fast forward to november 2021.

im gonna make another part cause this is too fucking long

[cheezybiouwiou]

archived from that secret q account.

ghosty boiyou are my world, and no matter how shitty the world gets i can't imagine one without youJuly 14, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boiyou are a part of me, and i know whatever happens, you always will beJuly 14, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boii love you, but the more we're apart and the less i see you, the more i remember all the painJuly 14, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boiwhatever you say, what your family does, it affects me, and when im with you it will always be like that. i dont know if i can cope, and im breaking inside because i love you, but i know you've hurt me so much and i dont know what to feelJuly 14, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boisome part of me wonders if its too late. you broke me. you hurt me so bad, and ive forgiven you so many times for things youve done that you dont even know you haveJuly 14, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boii cant help but feel you dont love me anymoreJuly 14, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boii cant help but feel you dont careJuly 14, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boingl it kinda hurts me that you care so much about him? i know not in a loving way, but like you caring so much about him makes me feel like you care less about me, idk maybe im just jealous and selfishJuly 14, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boii dont want to read anything on this acc bc it will just bring up old pain. nd tbh if anyone found this there would be a lot of painJune 26, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boilmao so i just found out the reason i'm suspended is bc my boyfriend ratted my mum out to his parents and my best friend ratted me out to him mum and the teachers and then my mum went ape shit and then they all pretended they didnt?May 5, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boireally fucking hurtApril 15, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boiand u have the nerve??? u cant remember me or anythin and uve been in such a bad place what since december?? thats 5 fuckin months man that ive been workin my ass off to support u nd help u get through so u dont fuckin die and this is what i get back? honestly im not mad im just really really hurtApril 15, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boiiodk now that u throwing this shit abck at me its like u blamin me? like boy u were so much worse than me already u were one of the ppl who dragged me into a darker place but i stuck w u bc i loved nd cared nd now ur saying it my fault that u cut and that ur more depressed? bitch i try fuckin hard for u man and this is what i get back? u say i dont care that u alwasy comfort me when i work my ass off to get through to u and help u, when u just then reject me anyways - and proceed to say i dont try and that you want the help?? if you want the help then fuckin accept it ive tried so hard for u man?? vbut u dont see it do uApril 15, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boiyou dont actiually want to be with me do you?March 3, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boiyou make me happy but im sad atm bc i dont wahnt you to dieeeeee nad i just want to be happy and you to be happyMarch 3, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boiyou make me so happy but i know i dont do that for you. my own insecurities mean that whenever any1 jokes abt anything i take it as real,, im insecure abt everytihng so every joke from everyone hurts me,. i care too much abt what ypu thinkMarch 3, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boii dont know do you want me??March 3, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boilitearlly no one caresFebruary 23, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boino one wants me haha!February 23, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boiha im so unwantedFebruary 23, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boiim not funn yim not smart im not useful im not talented im notmusical iumd fucjkign rpirdjbialedgesd im not a figood friend im nbot wirty i cant do anyithng im depresy wtihotutht e humoisr im eneddy im annoying i dongt get it im a fuckifng burden wso why are yioui still here whenvrber you see these things inothe rpsoelpe you hate htem gfor it wahyt fucking makles m efidferntFebruary 21, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boioyu literally dislike ebverything abtou me tyour jsut blind i dont get tiFebruary 21, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boiim evenrwyihtg you hate abtout this worldFebruary 21, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boihs ill never be fuckign fgoos enoughFebruary 21, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boiha lmao u didnt see me crying uwuFebruary 8, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boiu ran awya from meFebruary 8, 2019 ·Comment 3 · Like ghosty boihehe im terrified of losing you for a different reason now but ig it doesnt matter bc u dont wannt me anywasyuFebruary 8, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boii love you so much i just wnat to help i dont i can tlose youFebruary 2, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boihow can oyu say you dont feel and say you love me? i know you feel, you just try not toFebruary 2, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boii dont want you to hurt me but yousoFebruary 2, 2019 ·Comment 1 · Like ghosty boiyou lie to me. you dont call it lying but it isFebruary 2, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boiwonder what it's like to be okayFebruary 2, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boii can't carry this anymoreFebruary 2, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boiyin and yang, happiness always comes with sadness. if you have one you have to have the other. whats the point in feeling and living at all because even if you achieve happiness you will always have sadness. it is always htereFebruary 2, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boione day of warmth isnt worth a year of coldFebruary 2, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boihappinesss is fleetingFebruary 2, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boiwhy am i always the one who hads to repaireFebruary 1, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boii wihs oi culd he good enoguhFebruary 1, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boiic ared about you but all you do is hurt meFebruary 1, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boiyou just use me i dont understand i thought we were friendsFebruary 1, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boievent eh ppl eho care about me thinj uim worhtless, useless, dumb, stupid, weird, fucking djsfhalkdjfhreesstardsedJanuary 29, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boiwhy do you keep reminding me of my insecuriteS? i think everyone does. i shoulf tlak to you about it, but i d onnt want to make you walk on eggshelslsJanuary 29, 2019 ·Comment 1 · Like ghosty boiwer both yknow you cousdl do so m uch better htan meJanuary 29, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boii see it in your eeys, i sese the dissapointment, the 'what the fuck', youer crazy, ur weird, ur rude, ur pathetic, why can yt you be normlak, youe fake, you re not ogod enogumJanuary 29, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boiur gonna brkea up with me one dya becaues liets be real inm not oging to do it but you wilwl get sick of me you jsut put up with me atm ur blifnefd by emptions - despite that you can still see im fuvkignJanuary 29, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boiim just not finny or smart or nice or anyinthig gim jstu not good enoguh nd ikjwo i never will neJanuary 29, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boiill never be good enough icoulndt even last a dayJanuary 29, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boilmfao i m actually fucking discusintgnJanuary 29, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boii knwo im just annoying, no one realyt wants me aorundJanuary 29, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boiim getting sicjk of peoplke using meJanuary 29, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boii will never be good enough, i will never be good aerat anythingJanuary 28, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boiim fugcking sfisdudcisigng im such asuhit firend i dont know anyithng i dony care abt eanyone arenough i dont remmebe ran ythonig im never good enouhgJanuary 28, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boidespite how i present muself i dont feelsihlike a girl i jhate hit it hahtkljeshrkljsdfxklsjg bJanuary 28, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boiyou will never be able to see past being sad that im not talking, see that there may be a real reasoon, because you will be too self absorbed to even realise that im not okayJanuary 27, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boithing is though if i dont help you you you will get all sad and upset (despite ignoring me) and wont even give me the chance to give a reason why, beacuse the reason is im struggling atm as well and need support myself but youre too stubborn to get your head out of your ass and realise that i need help toJanuary 27, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boiyou always ignore me its pissing me off you just use me for when you need me and thats itJanuary 27, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boii dont think ill ever be good enoughJanuary 24, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boimonths. it took monthsJanuary 24, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boior is that just an excuse?January 24, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boiits so goddamn sad how you always pull away, but now isnt the time to mention itJanuary 24, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boii feel like you dont actally want me around idk it just hruts when you distance urself rom meJanuary 24, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boino one really truyts meJanuary 24, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boino one caresJanuary 24, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boisighsJanuary 24, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boiyou try and hel[p fuckignf ocus on yourself i want you to live ghoddamnihntJanuary 21, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boiwhats tyhe point in all this imf im judt going to lose you anyayJanuary 21, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boii want to be better, and seperately i just want them to be happy nd idc howJanuary 16, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boii never actually help lmao they were there for me yesterday when i was falling appart but i cant even help when they are sad or downJanuary 16, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boisighs now im wondering if im not good enoughJanuary 16, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boii wish i could be enough, but i know i never will be. i know its not personal and i am not upset as such by it, i can accept it. i just am upset for them because i want to someone, something to be enoughJanuary 16, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boii dont even know whats real anymore i cant tell what happened, what i thought happened, what was a dream, what i was hallucinating, what was flashbacks, what i wish had happened i cant even trust myself so how can i trust anyone elseJanuary 16, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boiim so done. im so tired with trying im so tired with everythingJanuary 16, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boiim so sadJanuary 16, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boii got down bc of ehta they did but that didnt change anythgin they got fuvkin down otooJanuary 3, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boii never helpJanuary 3, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boiim nfuckin uselessJanuary 3, 2019 ·Comment  · Like

[i-rant-here-alot-blog]

i wrote this for you. i was going to send it on our 1 year but.

good morning my sweet boy. i’m writing this over the next few months, so by the time you read this we’ll either be at 8 months or a year. we just passed 4 months but it feels like so much more. the past few months have gone by way too fast but kinda in a good way.

i remember our 1 month we were still pretty awkward and were getting to know each other a little bit more. i remember being so confused on how i was so happy from just a few words from one persons mouth.

Our 2 months i knew more about you and was becoming more attached to you. at first that was kinda scary because i didn’t want to lose you so soon. you became one of the people i trusted most.

our 3 months you had a special place in my heart that nobody else could take. i knew then i wasn’t going to lose you anytime soon. You made me feel something that i never really felt with anyone else.

our 4 months just happened. I don’t really know what to say. you are perfect. 110% in my eyes. I’ve fallen deeper and deeper in love you each day we have been together. the way your eyes glow when we’re together, the way you smile, the way you laugh, the way you exist. its all perfect.

our 5 months was a few days ago. there has been some ups and downs but we got through them. we’ve both been pretty busy and making plans has been rough but hey we still saw each other and started having sleepovers again which is amazing. I missed sleeping next to you so much. every time i go home after we hang out or when you go home i miss u more and more. its kinda weird but only because i never really missed someone this much after just seeing them. you’ve been so so helpful with everything. my mood has been kinda wack and you’ve made me feel better a lot. i’m still really glad u came and helped w/ my room. it meant a lot to me.

Our 6 months just went by and everything you do just makes me happy. i have never wanted a future more with someone as much as i have wanted one with you. laying down in bed with you just cuddling or sleeping in your arms or next to you. making mac and cheese in the kitchen or sitting on the couch joking around. i love it all. and i love you. i couldn’t ask for a more perfect person to be with. you’re the best. you’ve let me cry into your chest and haven’t judged me for it. you make it all better.

we hit 7 months a few days ago ahhhhh. i’m so happy we got so far. i love you to death and i was so scared to lose you at first but now i’m pretty certain i’ve got you for a while :) i was gonna write this the day of our 7 months mark or whatever because you slept over the night before and were at my house shortly in the morning but i decided not to because you were awake first and i didn’t wanna wake u up but anyway. 7 months man. 7 months with the boy i love the most out of everyone. 7 months with my best friend. it’s unbelievable. it seems like just 3 or 4 months ago it was your birthday party and we were cuddling in the camper. it’s been so long holy moly. you’ve kept me running a lot lately with some stuff that’s happened at school with alyvia and me breaking down a few times and making some mistakes. i know i can be annoying and sometimes i’m a little much but some reason you’re deciding to deal with it. which i don’t mind like at all please stay. i’ll get weird sometimes and i’ll yell or i’ll get upset and it may seem like i’m getting upset with you but i’m honestly probably just stressed with something and i never ever mean to take anything out on you. i’d never do that to you on purpose. anyway, i’ll let this be till next month. i love you lots babes.

i don’t know how else to start these paragraphs anymore because i think i keep starting them the same lol so hey today we hit 8 months. it went by so so fast. you’ve made everyday a lot better and have been able to make me smile when i never wanted to. i feel like i’m repeating the same thing over and over but idc. i fucking love you. you really helped me out in the past month with moving and keeping me positive or at least trying to. and helping me and my mom actually find a place to live. you’ll never know how grateful i am for you. i really don’t know what i would do if we hadn’t started dating. you mean the world and more to me and i’d give everything to keep you forever. i can’t imagine myself living a life without you in it. you really are my best friend and more.

our 9 months would have been in 2 days. you decided it was best for us to break up. i really don’t agree because as busy as you were you still made me feel like a prince and i still felt like you loved me. you say you dragged me through everything but i willingly went through all of it. i loved seeing how you preformed and hearing how much you loved your cast. it made me happy to see you so happy. as much as i know it isn’t my fault i still feel like i was a bit problematic and that is part of it. i was a very needy boyfriend and never gave you much space. thinking about how i will probably never be able to hold your hand again or kiss you or call you mine drives a knife through my heart. i loved you with every inch of my heart. i dont really know if the feeling was mutual, but you said you’d always love me when we split so ig it was. you still mean the world to me and you still are the only person i’ll ever want. nobody will make me as happy as you did

i’m in a lot of fucking pain from this. you made me so fucking happy and then you just left. my heart feels like it’s been torn out of my chest. the feelings i have for you are so strong i dont want to let us go. our relationship meant so much to me. i can’t stop crying. i wanted us to last so bad and you promised it’d be me and you till time ended and i believed it because i really thought we loved each other enough to make it. the fact that this entire thing went to waste hurts. i was so excited to send this to you and now i can’t because you aren’t even mine. i made a slideshow. i ordered us distance bracelets for when you’d go off for a bit. i was really excited for our future. now it all feels dead to me. i do want to be your best friend still but it hurts so bad.

[slienceispowerful]

A really bad decision

It’s Econs paper today. I am absolutely not ready. Whether it’s Geog or maths or anything else, coz I know I will get the Us... what’s the point of me taking exams right?

MYE.

GP U/S?

Bio U

Geog U

Econs -skip-

Maths (?) p1 was really bad

Looking at my pathetic grades, I’m afraid of getting that U....

I’m basically so so screwed for Mid Year Exams.

Sometimes I just ask myself, other than creating dramas what good can I do?

Useless piece of shyt. Dream on. With the current state of mind. I can assure myself, I won’t be able to get in.

Wanna go university? Dream on.

And honestly I really hate myself for dreaming about the past. Letting the past affect me so fucking much.

Why was I so god damn evil? If my purpose was to leave him. Then just do it in a quiet way.

Now that I feel him happy, honestly I dun feel good. Like he can move on so easily but there’s me... what the hell(?)

Seeing James tgt with him just don’t feel good at all. I dun like the presence of James. Yet he did nothing wrong. How ironically I am... they are like reminders of my failed friendships.

Sometimes it’s just that I wonder was I ever so mean to other people? Did I do anything wrong to James ? Why others always choose me above everyone else.

To the extent, I am actually afraid if someone were to notice me LOL it’s like can u dun notice me? I’d be fine.

I got to know aug around the same time as he knew James. At one point in time, I was pretty sure he priortised me above him.

Then when James heard him bringing me to the place, he was lowkey salty.

He always insult me. He purposely exclude me out. He say he doenst trust me. He made me feel really really bad about myself. He does a lot of stupid nonsense that shows we aren’t actually friends.

With all the red flags that James ain’t my Friend all along, I choose to ignore it. I chose to amplify the good things he has done. How stupid bitchhhhhhh

So that’s prolly when Aug chooses to ignore me, I got real mad about it. Haha at the point in time, I can’t stand being rejected and outcasted again. Anyone can ignore and outcast me, Nor him. Not the guy I like, Nor the guy I was so damn fucking close to.

That’s why I tried so fucking hard.

Xin Yun ignore me and regard my existence as non present after few months of close online interactions? James decided to outcast me for some reasons or another? The Peggy clique decided to ignore me(?) James’s friends basically. I have no idea why Ethan ignore me too, then the rest just basically don’t regard my presence even when I sat with them. It’s like I was so invincible. I won’t forget the day after VIA. I thought it was just me overthinking, so I decided to join them for lunch. James didn’t even care about me. So do Nerin.(Lol nerin even remove me from her private ig) It’s just me being outcasted. I was thinking if I saw James alone, I would be talking to him. Like I hate the idea of seeing anyone alone. Then what he do? Oh he tried to include me by asking one qns “eh look at this? U might need to consider losing weight” and went back to his friends.

Just like I saw aug alone in class for first time, I asked him to join us. Never did I knew I would be rejected

Well so fuck you James. I shld have known... those days of being ‘friends’ were Long gone. In your eyes, I’m nothing. But I dun actually give a fuck. But hell? Who would have knew your existence actually affect the guy I like opinion of me.

Then

*BAMN*

Just one trigger.

One impact.

One post.

That’s it.

I went hella crazy.

The moment the one that cherish me the most had me outcast me. That’s it.

I HATE THE IDEA OF PPL IGNORING ME.

I tried so hard to be a good human being. After James’s friends. After Ethan, I tried not to be so annoying. I tried not to try-so-hard. I tried to be a decent person. But none works, I was probably not being myself.

I’m sorry Aug.

I’m sorry that you became a victim of my story plot. After all this shyt? Plus u. Makes the whole lot of story hella worse. I had everything bottle up, and with that last tiny little bit. I needed to outcast someone. Idc who it was . But as Long as its someone I care about ignoring me. Yeah :/

Tbh I dun really care, if SY clique exclude me. Coz my happiness don’t depend on people anymore. I get to decide who’s gonna stay in my life. I select people. People not gonna have a say in telling me what to do. I choose people in life. So the rest can simply fuck off.

U wanna bitch behind me? That’s where you belong. Behind my back bitch.

I hate you James. I hate you honestly. For putting me through all these. And i hate myself for placing such great importance on you. For allowing whatever you said affect me. Demoroalise Me Ans I felt nothing most of the time.

There’s first time, ain’t gonna be second time.

I’m quite sympathetic to aug, like he has to bear all my nonsense and accumulation of shyt from previous people... To be frank, I wanna be the one that reject people. That’s why I cut off that friendship. Like one as a representitve of whole.

The things Aug did was forgivable. But I couldn’t forgive myself. Anyways I wasn’t meant to be kind. So it’s like whatever.

Grades matter most. People come and go. Those who stay, stay. The rest just fuck off. I have enough ppl in life. I can be happy on my own.

Oops did I mention? I feel really bad to Aug 😂

I think I might have breach the trust between us. Wells.... I wanna fuck him and give him my virginity also HHAHAH WTF?

So I decided to say sorry lor. I feel the need to apologise. And taking it out on him. The one I loved and the one I liked. Okay no love, because as much as I like that body of his. I can’t imagine myself being his girlfriend. Just no. But fuckinh him? Yes.

Omg like how could u like someone and not wanting to be in relationship with that person. But also thanks to him, I learn so much more about myself.

26th June 2018 0753

[babymyharry]

92 truths

i was tagged by @adashofniallandasprinkleoflunacy & @fairylightsstyles !! love u binches 💘✨

Rules: Once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. At the end, you choose 25 people to tag! (lol yikes i’m a loser on here so idk abt that)

THE LAST… 
1. Drink: to be real with u i don’t drink much and when i do it’s at high school parties but i did try a lemon drop when i was in europe last summer and my cousin sneaked me in to a club & it was pretty above average 🤔 but ig the last “drink” was a coke w coconut (idk either??) vodka and that was a wild night lmao

2. Phone call: my (kinda) mans?

3. Text message: my friend chris

4. Song you listened to: wild thoughts 😛😛

5. Time you cried: uhm i think it was wednesday it was v dramatic

HAVE YOU EVER… 
6. Dated someone twice: this dude in middle school lmao we dated for like a hot minute in 6th grade and then rekindled our love on the class trip in eighth grade aw young love

7. Been cheated on: yeah:/

8. Kissed someone and regretted it: truth or dare games fuckin suck

9. Lost someone special: my grandma was my best friend and i didn’t talk to anyone for a solid month when she passed

10. Been depressed: when i had anorexia but that was a pretty long time ago so :)

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: nah blackout drunk doesn’t sound appealing

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLORS: 
12. lilac

13. forest green

14. gold

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… 
15. Made new friends: yes lmao i dropped so many friends last year so i had to make more AND my groupchat homies that i luv dearly

16. Fallen out of love: yes

17. Laughed until you cried: i surround myself with good vibes so yes many times

18. Found out someone was talking about you: oh my god rumors spread faster than wildfire at my school yes

19. Met someone who changed you: changed me? i guess they made me a better person but idk about changing me

20. Found out who your true friends are: my friend group collapsed last year and i figured out who was still around after that

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: who uses facebook anymore

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: i deleted my facebook like freshmen year so ?¿

23. Do you have any pets: oh my god 3 dogs and 2 cats it’s like a zoo of fluff at my house

24. Do you want to change your name: nah i’m cool

25. What did you do for your last birthday: my friend max threw me a surprise party and it got wayyyy too lit to be honest

26. What time did you wake up: today i woke up at 6 to see the sunrise bc my kinda mans has a balcony in his room with a good ass view for that

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: sleeping lmao i’m a grandma

28. Name something you cannot wait for: my shawn concert!!!

29. When was the last time you saw your mother: tonight when she exposed me so i’m currently not speaking w her lmao

30. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: maybe if my parents could be home more, they’re not really around much sometimes and that kinda sucks

31. What are you listening to right now: this weird ass netflix movie that my little cousin is forcing me to watch bc nash grier is in it kill me now

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: my friend abigail’s dad’s name is tom and lemme tell u he’s lowkey a dilf 🤔👀

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: this netflix movie it’s so cringe

34. Most visited website: snapchat i think??

35. Elementary: worst 8 years of my life

36. High School: finally almost done

37. College/university: im going lmao

38. Hair colour: blonde

39. Long or short hair: my hair was down to my butt and i just chopped it all off (yes, i pulled a harry styles) to my shoulders to donate and i honestly really like it short!!

40. Do you have a crush on someone: :-)

41. What do you like about yourself: i think i’m a pretty nice and chill person like i’m totally bragging here but i was voted funniest and nicest junior this year for the yearbook and like :D that’s just a nice feeling and it was validated !!

42. Piercings: technically two on both ears and when i was 15 i let my boyfriend’s (now ex boyfriend lol) older brother’s friend pierce my nose bc i wanted to piss my dad off but i don’t wear anything in it anymore so

43. Blood type: o negative actually!!

44. Nickname: a looootttt of my friends call me aj (like more than my actual name) and then some just call me manda but yeah aj is the most nickname outa those so

45. Relationship status: i’m a fuckboy man idk what’s going on

46. Zodiac sign: cancer

47. Pronouns: she/her

48. Favourite TV show: criminal minds omgggg how do you become a screen writer bc i have some dope ideas for that show lemme tell you

49. Tattoos: none but i wanna get some!!

50. Right or left hand: righty

FIRST… 
51. Surgery: spinal fusion man it succckkkeedd

52. Piercing: ears

54. Sport: i started ballet when i was 3 idk if that counts but

55. Vacation: my aunt and uncle’s lake house in montana

56. Pair of trainers: they were these cute little adidas there’s sooo many pics of me in those

57. Eating: that di… plz excuse me lmfao but nah i’m actually eating watermelon :-)

58. Drinking: water 💦

59. I’m about to: jump off a building bc i was exposed tonight by my very own parents 👍🏼

60. Listening to: now me and my little cousin are watching captain america (only bc i saw andrea’s post and decided to try it idk why i trust trash but im)

61. Waiting for: my trust issues to choke

62. Want: mozzarella sticks idk

63. Get married: yeah one day

64. Career: something in film so like cinematography or directing or just something creative like that 😋

YOUR TYPE… 
65. Hugs or kisses: depends on who it is ya feel

66. Lips or eyes: eyes definitely

67. Shorter or taller: well like.. boys fs taller but girls idc ?¿

68. Older or younger: older bc immaturity is a turn off

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: not to make everything about harold but he’s just got the perf body to me like toned arms and a soft tummy.. yes please

71. Sensitive or loud: i mean they gotta be both in certain situations but overall i guess loud

72. Hook up or relationship: i’m a fucking mess i have trust issues AND commitment issues so like.. both make death appealing

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker fs

HAVE YOU EVER… 
74. Kissed a stranger? again, truth or dare games suck

75. Drank hard liquor? once but it was at this rich white boy’s house and i deadass felt like he snuck it from his grandpa’s stash to get it and i was like ?¿ 🌚

76. Lost glasses contact/lenses: i don’t wear them so

77. Turned someone down: i curve like 90% of the dudes hitting me up like boys are just annoying tbh

78. Sex on first date: i mean my virginal self would not kno but i have made out with a couple guys at parties or whatever so

79. Broken someone’s heart: yes and i’m not sorry lmao

80. Had your heart broken: it’s awful man yeah

81. Been arrested: totally came close one time bc ig someone called the cops on the party i was at and police showed up and my freshmen ass ran so fast bitch i was usain bolt deadass

82. Cried when someone died: oh yeah

83. Fallen for a friend: i mean it was mutual but unfortunately

DO YOU BELIEVE IN
84. Yourself: i do

85. Miracles: i think some crazy things can happen that make ppl value that particular thing a lot more but idk about miracles

86. Love at first sight: lust at first sight* bc u cant be in love with someone’s outer appearance without knowing what they’re like as a person

87. Santa Claus: a very small part of me

88. Kiss on the first date: why not

89. Angels: definitely

OTHER… 
90. Current best friend’s name: kelsey

91. Eye colour: blue

92. Favourite movie: the devil wears prada always 🗣

imma tag @ihearthemcallingxx @stylessemantics @honeyskins @moonchildstyles @hardliquorhaz @nips-and-tats @iloveyouhaz @inwhichitrytowritesomething @jadexthirlwalls @tiostyles (idk if any of u have already done this omg sry)

[justafastfoodknight]

i hope that by starting this post i’ll want to keep writing.. bcz rn i’m not too into it, but i know i have to.

well we got our new manager last week and it’s been alright.. she’s cool.. a little too into customer service and shit but whatever... she says she has a lot of plans to fix our store so we’ll see.

but speaking of that... i’m ready to change jobs again. it’s been like two years and I want to do something around people my age and shit. not sure what, but i’m gonna list some options maybe tomorrow. (i’m really hoping at some movie theater!!!!! :’))

been getting really fed up with my manager at the café who i was cool with. since one of the cooks recently had a baby he went on paternity leave for a week and the manager has been staying to close. he rips at me sometimes and like teases me about shit and it’s not enough for me to be so mad and tell him to blatantly fuck off, but when I ask him something simple and something that I really need answered he’ll just be like why do you wanna know? who is it about? it’s the who, what, where, when q’s all the fucking time.. it’s like dude I WANNA KNOW BUT U DON’T NEED TO. and also like I have no shame (as every girl shouldn’t) to let my hairs grow from my armpits and stuff and one time i was reaching for something and he saw and commented on it. it wasn’t like he was utterly disgusted, but more like why haven’t u shaved? and now he constantly teases me about it. and it’s like whatever but today i was like in a fuck u mood and he came at me with the same shit so i was like “fuck off i don’t need to fucking shave, it’s my body and i’ll do what i want. i don’t fucking belong to you and even if i did you don’t have the right to police my armpits and shit. you don’t shave so why should i?” and then the stupid shit reply of “because i’m a man i don’t need too” holy crap I now have no fucking patience to fight about something as simple in concept as this, to him. so I just told him to shut up and i walked away. he takes it like a joke and shit but like that’s the very beginning of feminism 101 and stupid men can BARELY handle hair still jesus christ it irks the fuck outta me. so yeah i’ve been bickering with him a lot and tbh having a shitty time there now. 

the other day i got off of work about 20 mins before my second job so i just decided to sit down and wait it out. this dude at work that got hired recently named Freddy was on break and just decided to sit with me. at first I thought he was like 16 because he’s on the shorter side, but also has a huge baby face... turns out we’re the same age. he’d always work night shifts so i’d only say wassup or small talk and shit but never really knew much about him and visa versa. so he sat down and we just started talking.. like straight up and it wasn’t awkward. we started asking shit about each other and turns out he’s Guatemalan too... which explains his height lol. but yeah we talked out how he came here from there and how he’s in the process of bringing his whole family here and how he works two jobs and all this other stuff. then, as boys do, he asks me if i have a boyfriend. preface to this... i think or at least have a hunch that he has a crush on me because he looks at me a lot and laughs at the shit i say which is entirely stupid or just not funny. I tell him that i don’t. he then asks why and i say because i don’t need one/don’t want one. at this point i can tell that he’s a good listener and i’m the sucker ass bitch who has a big mouth and talks when anyone even shows the slightest interest so i keep talking.. I go on a rant, a real one, about my shitty habits. I tell him all about me on Tinder and my trust issues and not even feeling like anyone would like me in real life, and so on. Mind you, that I wasn’t fishing for compliments ok.. yeah I think this dude is cute, but not a crush really. I just wanted to tell the truth and kind of explain to someone to see if i could get a different perspective. I asked him if he was seeing anyone and he said no, but that it was ok because between two jobs and school, he didn’t think he could handle one. He then told me that I seemed like a cool person and that I wasn’t ugly (god it sounds awful as i type this, cheesy af) and I said thanks kind of and that I was kind of in the process of bettering myself and feeling more comfortable with me (which is true) and yeah. The dude is really nice and easy to talk to and it made me happy, because he actually listened. This was all in the span of 20 mins and then I had to leave. I haven’t talked to him like that since, but I really wanna hang out with him at some point.

now that we’re on the subject of dudes... here’s another one for ya. I’m not sure if i’ve mentioned the dude i matched with on Tinder, but yeah.. We’d been talking for maybe a week straight and then it kind of got boring and he wasn’t really saying anything for me to reply back to so I just didn’t. Then a couple days later he sends me a ‘what’s up?’ message. so i tell him what i’m up to, in detail to see if i can maybe start a convo and i ask him too and he gives me a really short answer and nothing to really go off of.. so i don’t reply again. and prior to this, on new years I was feeling lonely OK, and i told him we should have gone and watched a movie together, but i was sick as a dog by the time he replied and i was like it’s cool some other time. then he told me to let him know when i was free again like next week so i said i would.. but then after that i was like lol nah i don’t really wanna hang out, i’d rather be alone. but i know my bitch ass will start to feel lonely like in a week and do the same shit again. so i’ve been posting movie things on IG and he follows me on there so he sees that i’ve been free and going out. so tonight I went to go see Moonlight and it’s midnight when he sends me a message reading : “Hey so I know you’re not trying to talk to me anymore but I don’t want to give up on talking to you, you’re really cool and I wanna watch movies with you :) I sound pathetic but idc.” I don’t even know how to respond. Part of me wants to say like yeah let’s hang out and get this whole first bf thing over with and catch up on not being a virgin anymore and getting accustomed to being with someone but that’s like almost... not what i wanna do? part of it is fear, i’m not gonna lie. I’ve got major body/self confidence issues and shit but I also love being alone and watching movies alone and just being by my damn self. As much as i say i want someone to do those things with me, it’s like I’m not in the mood to prance around a new person acting a certain way because we only just met. I want to just be myself and not fuck it up. i’m angry at myself for being so analytical about this simple concept but it’s like who tf do i even talk to about this with? I’m starting to think I should get a therapist.

in other news.. I went to go get Pho with Kim the other day when it was raining :;’) (i love hot soup and cold weather!! and we talked about maybe doing a Galentines thing and going to go see The Notebook at the theater I’ve been dying to go to!! and we’re also planning on Dragcon again this year and she keeps telling me that her other friend really wants us to all get together and meet so we can have a sort of squad and that makes me really happy!! 

I also asked Melissa if she’d like to go see Lost In Translation on the 11th apart of a valentine’s day thing and they’ll have kareoke and drinks and a photo booth and she said yea!! so before she leaves I’ll get to see a depressing ass movie on the big screen :’)

I should probaby do an update on TA, huh? well nothing has really happened. I got the hint that his gf was in town dud to him barely talking to me and i was right. they went out and did a bunch of shit in LA nd posted all of it on social media and it was kind of like aaaalright then. I mean it bums me out because he shut me out but then when she leaves he starts talking again ya know. idk i’m not gonna make it a thing to hang out with him anytime soon.

I have a long three straight days of working double shifts so i’ll be burned out soon enough, but i’m glad i got this all off of my chest.

now sashay, away.