#so if u ask me questions i probably have very few answers HAHAHAHA

[plagalkey]

son of zeus & son of nike (PJO AU)

[aspiringtrashpanda]

PANDA MY LOVE! I have so many questions for you so please bear with me while I get all these emojis out of the way

💖 -> which fic is ur pride n joy?

🤩 -> what’s the most meaningful comment u have ever received?

🙌 -> what’s a line or para that ure proud of?

🤔 -> what are some words or phrases u find urself overusing?

🤷‍♀️ -> what’s a fic u didn’t expect to be popular but rly took off?

🍎 -> what’s smth u learnt while researching for a fic?

😱 -> what’s ur greatest fear as a fic writer?

🛏️ -> what’s a trope u haven’t written but want to?

🌷 -> what’s one of ur fic that isn’t as popular but u hold dear?

I am very curious 🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵

HYOOOO thank you for the ask 💕 I'm always happy to yap about my fics so I appreciate this so much! 💖 -> which fic is ur pride n joy? HM. Right out of the gate with the tricky questions. The answer changes with each new fandom I write for, as I feel my writing continues to improve, so I'd say my baby right now is The Speedrunner's Guide to Romance (Leviathan x F!Reader). Though, I have big plans for an angsty story that I think will usurp the throne 👀 🤩 -> what’s the most meaningful comment u have ever received? Any comment that points out my writing style, or the characterization of canon characters means the world to me. Of course, I love all comments because I can't believe people take time out of their day to read my trash? but the ones that hit hard are when people point out the little foreshadowing hints, or link a theme together, or just get what I'm trying to do. I think too much about a lot of my fics, so it's nice to feel seen, you know?

🙌 -> what’s a line or para that ure proud of?

Obey Me month had a lot of my best writing, I think. This is probably one of my favorites:

The days go by, Simeon silencing the intrusive thoughts ruminating inside his skull, clinging to the interior slope like a fungus festering from pious neglect. Roots were planted deep in his brain, curling around memories of his brothers’ faces as they tumbled from celestial light, shadowed tendrils tugging at their limbs and stitching up their wounds. The Devildom wove sutures of sin through once heavenly flesh, and now Simeon sees the own red of his wounds turning dark, rotten, evil.

🤔 -> what are some words or phrases u find urself overusing? HAHAHAHA ANY KISSING CLICHES 🤷‍♀️ -> what’s a fic u didn’t expect to be popular but rly took off?

I wrote a SUPER self-indulgent Steven Stone fic and it spiraled into a whole Discord server.

🍎 -> what’s smth u learnt while researching for a fic? Yo, my search history is so sus. I think the most recent fact I learned was that catfish can remember a voice from 5 years prior. 🐟

😱 -> what’s ur greatest fear as a fic writer? Starting fics that I can't finish. There are a few on my Ao3, unfortunately. Stories that I lost inspiration for and can't bring myself to continue, even though I know there's so much potential there. I like to think I've been better at it recently, but I still worry whenever I start something new.

🛏️ -> what’s a trope u haven’t written but want to?

Okay so, I have an idea for an Arranged Marriage!AU. I'm not usually a huge fan of that trope but there's something that tickles me about that trope with a certain OM character... Also anything very very angsty. I write angst often but I'm excited for my upcoming project because it is definitely darker than most of my work.

🌷 -> what’s one of ur fic that isn’t as popular but u hold dear?

One of my early Inuokko (JJK) fics - Portrait of His Sisyphus. I wrote it for an event week, and mashed up every prompt in a reincarnation sort of fic. It has art by @4laurus in every chapter, and I think it's really funky and interesting. THANKS FOR ASKING HYO 💕 Sorry for the rambles, haha.

[franeridart]

Anon said: Would you draw SukuFushi? (Sukuna x Fushiguro)

maybe? *thinking face* if I ever got an idea for it, why not. I find sukuna’s obsession with fushiguro entertaining so I don’t count fanarts for it as impossible haha

Anon said: I looked and I couldn't find if you've answered this already, so apologies if you did, but how do you draw your faces? I always struggle with face shape and yours are always super good with really expressive features! Anyway, thanks so much I love your art <3

HMMMMMMMM how do I do that indeed, the basics are honestly what you’d find on any basic tutorial about drawing a face (circle, cross in the middle of it, build the face around that - I really still can’t avoid that step and probably never will). As for the expressions, to be honest with you my way of going about them is thinking them up in emoji/kaomoji form first and then go from there. Emojis and kaomojis have to simplify expressions to the max since it’s such a simple format, right? But they’re still super expressive and convey exactly what they’re trying to say with one single glance, so using them as some kind of reference sheet has helped me a lot in figuring out what’s essential to express what I’m trying to say - still working on it though! I’m rarely satisfied with my expressions, they really do make or break a drawing don’t they............ you never stop learning, I guess!

Anon said:  Ahhhhhhh I just spent like hrs scrolling thru ur oc tag and they’re all amazing I love them so much but I keep confusing the everloving SHIT out of myself cuz I too have a child who is Leo and he’s literally so different from ur Leo lol. Anyway tho ur art is amazing and it honestly just makes me so happy so ty and hope have a good day!!

OHHHHHHHHHHHH MY LEO! It’d been forever since I’ve last drawn him, I kind of miss him............... glad you like my stuff, by the way! Especially about you liking my ocs, that means the world to me!

Anon said: hi there !!! i was wondering if i had ur permission to ur ur itafushi art in one of my edits ! i wanted to be sure before using it <3 total respect if its a no !! thankyouuuu

Sorry but I’d prefer if you didn’t do that!

Anon said:THERES A OCTOPATH TRAVELER LIGHT NOVEL AND ITS SO COOL BUT ITS ONLY IN JAPANEESE ! ;^;There's four stories with centered around pairs of characters and alfion is one of them !Idk if itll be transleted but i hope itll be cuz it sound awesome

OH I KNOW!!!!!!! I saw the art for the alfion one a while back, it looks so soft!!!! ;;;;; 8path is kinda niche as a game though, so who knows.............. let’s cross our fingers!!

Anon said:  hello, i am here to recc Skeletons by New Years Day because i think it might fit a few of your ships<3

Thanks anon now I’m emo ;;;;;

Anon said: bakubro gives the best hugs. kirishima is the only one who knows this. everyone is absolutely incredulous when the question "who gives the best hugs" goes around and kirishima answers bakugo. (bakugo thinks kirishima is the best but he benefits from kirishima bodily hugging him and he's biased)

Definitely!! He’s strong and warm after all, bet hugging him would feel the best.... the only one who shall ever know is kiri though, as I bet his hugs are only that nice when he really likes the person he’s hugging hahaha

Anon said: Hi! Just wanted to say that I absolutely love your JJK art! The colors and style are absolutely stunning.

Thank you so much!!!!!!! I feel like I’m mostly drawing for myself lately ngl hahaha so knowing you like it means a lot!!

Anon said: Hi!! This isn't a request I just really like your art! I found you from Pinterest on a kiribaku thing you drew! Your art is so cool! I wish I could draw like that!!! I'll keep looking for new art you've made :D

Aw pinterest.......................... glad you could find your way back here though!! And thank you!!

Anon said: This happened a while ago, but i wanted to say it anyway. I remember when I started watching jujutsu kaisen and I was looking for content arter finishing the first 10 episodes in less than a day and I found your first jujutsu kaisen post (it was posted that dame day) and i was like ???? One of my favorite artists got into jk at the same time than me!!! I just thought it was a neat coincedence to share! I really love your art too, you're amazing!! Happy New Year!!

It’s!!!!!!!!!!!! a pretty dang neat coincidence for me too, since it’s always nice to know at least some of my followers are still into the stuff I make hahahaha

Anon said: i think a lot abt ur art and how ive been seeing u since middle school and now im graduating highschool and we're still in the same fandoms, i hope this doesnt make u feel old but rather VERY cherished qwq

No anon this makes me feel amazing you’ve been around so long!!!!!!! I can’t believe you’re still here with my thank you so much for that!!!!!! I think I’m gonna cry a little here.......... ;;;

Anon said: Hi! I love your art so much!! 🥰 Have you read a KiriBaku fic called The Pit??

Probably not, haven’t been reading krbk fics in a while by now! I’ll add it to my for-later list, thank you so much for the rec!!

Anon said: can u believe that (sans sero) the entire bakusquad can be put into some form of punk/goth fashion? the realization was a galaxy brain moment for me. also realizing that tokoyami, kirishima, and tamaki are all varying levels of goth/emo (some more concerning than others)

Sero’s the hippie friend every punk friend group needs, he balances things out and that’s why he’s very cherished and necessary!!!!

Anon said: your bakugo drawings convinced me to finally start stretching my ears and tbh i'm extremely excited (i've had off and on thoughts of stretching my ears (again) before this so it's not as impulsive as it sounds haha)

Anon that’s so cool!!!!!!! I love gauges so much.....................glad I could give you the last push for it!!

Anon said: uhhhh, i love the style of that top left goge drawing dude!!

THANK YOU I LOVE DRAWING IN THAT STYLE THIS ASK MEANS THE UNIVERSE TO ME

Anon said: i sent the dragon!kiri and bakugo tug-of-waring over a piece of meat and honestly your response is exactly what i thought

Great minds!!!!!!! hahaha

[theunconcernedembalmer]

Toko! I was thinking of creating an ask the character blog for IDV or Genshin Impact and wanted a few tips on how to start off. Anything you can share?

ey yo my dude!! thank you so much for this question, now im lowkey tempted (again) to make a genshin ask blog sjadhlkshgkahshglsaj anyway my 1.5 cents is under the cut, yall know how much i talk here HAHAHAHAH

uhhhhhh so i guess we start with picking a character u really Vibe with tm? I KNOW THIS SOUNDS LIKE COMMON SENSE BUT LIKE ive been considering making a genshin ask blog for a while now but i never really got to it cos i couldnt really decide on a character (plus the fact that their outfits are. so intricate. is also a hmm since i try to follow details to a t) (at first i wanted to do zhongli, but i feel like to be able to muse him well u need to know the lore super super well, which i dont n im too lazy to research on that aha. n u know how much i respect characterizations, especially for such a complex character like him. i also considered xiangling for a period of time mostly for guoba but also like i have 2+1 blogs here n having one more might not be a very good idea aha) (as for aesop he was my Hyperfixation Character tm also cos i looked at his kit n went Yep i could work with this. probably)

so assuming ur not a dumbass like me n u kinda know who u wanna pick, id actually say to snoop around here for other ask blogs n kinda get a feel of the... scene? is that the word? or like u know, other blogs that u can potentially vibe with. ive run a couple of ask blogs before this current one (both that have died for different reasons) n from my experience interacting with other blogs (if theyre okay with it, i think most should be) is pretty fun. it also kinda helps get ur blog around to other ppl on other blogs so they can go Oh whats this cool shit n check u out, n its also a reason why we kinda reblog promo posts for other blogs (also cos we’re always excited when someone new comes on, its really the more the merrier. we see all :eyes:). interacting with other blogs is also an option when ur inbox is looking real roomy too

another reason why i havent exactly done a genshin blog is that idk i cant actually seem to find genshin ask blogs around (i have seen rp blogs, or those that answer asks with mostly text instead of art, but thats. not my thing since i hate my own writing aha) (i did find one aether blog some time ago, but for some reason i hardly see them around anymore??? idk man i might be wrong). its not like im trying super hard to find them ask blogs, so im sure they exist out there (hopefully?? im not sure but im being optimistic). i mean theres nothing wrong with just starting an ask blog without others around, but for me i do find a difference when i interact with other ask blogs n when i dont, n i prefer when theres others to have fun with (unfortunately i couldnt find any ask blogs to interact with in my previous fandom. i tried, but the blogs i approached seemed to go inactive shortly afterwards...) plus u get to meet friends that way too :D (i made a lot of friends via idv askblogs n its really been a joy vibing with others)

as for the idv scene. gestures around me. unfortunately there are a lot of ask blogs that arent that active anymore, but theres still some of us who are alive n kicking empty inboxes, n im sure everyone would love to see a new face around. winks at u. also there seems to be a lot more blogs popping up lately, which is really heartening to see.

then u kinda just. make ur blog? n a starting introduction post so ppl can reblog it n spread the word XD n yay u have a blog i guess??? XD

i gotta say tho. dont expect ur blog to take off immediately (especially for smaller fandoms like idv, tvbh i didnt think my blog would even get half this far when i started cos of how non existent idv tumblr seemed to be) n ur inbox will probably be looking pretty empty a lot of the time (or at least filled with some that u havent quite thought of how to reply to yet aha) (but also like empty inboxes happen pretty often, im sure most of us here have experienced this problem)

in the case of the first ask blog i ever started, it never really took off at all. ngl it was kind of demoralizing n depressing but to be fair i had picked one of the more obscure characters in the series, so obscure that many ppl in the fandom would have never heard of this character before. if u wanted to know, i took a character that only appeared in the 2nd musical of the series, who also made a very brief cameo in the manga to acknowledge his existence within that universe. thats how obscure my character was, but i went with him purely because he was my favourite character. i will say though i did enjoy it while it lasted n i learnt a lot from the experience, n i think thats whats important really.

i guess this kinda leads on (not really but let me digress) to the whole uhhhh thing where if u choose a more popular character, u get more attention. which is fine i guess? if u really vibe with the character, i mean theyre popular for a reason. n choosing a more popular fandom (like genshin) would objectively also get u more viewers n numbers. but like honestly i believe that ask blogs are meant for u to have fun with, n like trying to get popular gets tiring pretty fast (this shouldnt be like a main goal, but u know sometimes u subconsciously also want that gucci follower count n bomb ass notes or something. i used to be guilty of this until i realized it isnt worth it) especially if ur not enjoying yourself in the process. (case in point: my previous fandom was considerably larger n my blog got about 700 followers within a year or so, but it got very tiring n stressful to maintain after my interest in it died, n no one was really interacting with the blog even though i tried which kinda made it even more depressing despite the so called success n popularity of the blog)

anyway on a less serious note, theres a lot of fun stuff u can do with the ask blog, like some ask blogs have really fancy tags that i really like n try to do but also like not really HAHAHAHA. i kinda just channel what i want to see in an ask blog into my own ask blogs (good art is one, i try very hard for it to be good :,DD another is characterization, n others is just extra miscellaneous arts n stuffs like au ideas or memes. these are also somethings u could work on during ask box downtimes perhaps)

uhhh another side thing is like a posting schedule i guess? like ppl would be more likely to interact (i think) if ur blog is relatively active, n this is usually determined by the last post u made (i think XD). but like generally for blog maintenence id say try to kinda find a frequency that ur comfortable with?? cos i know my once a day posting is kinda insane if i wasnt so hyperfixated on all of this n fight the urge to dump all ur replies when u finish them XD (though ive seen some blogs do that n they do it pretty frequently so its pretty nice to know once u see their post u can spend some time going through the latest batch of posts XD) the queue function is pretty useful here even though i truthfully have never really used it, i kinda just post from my drafts really but it also helps to space out ur content to seem somewhat active especially when u dont have the time to be working on replies sometimes. i hope u know what im trying to say here aha

ANYWAY that was like my 1.5 cents cos i dont even think its worth 2 cents HAHAHAHAH these are just my thoughts from running all my blogs up till now, some that are still running n the others that have just died a natural death. i wouldnt actually delete them (theyre still around actually XD) cos theyre kinda like archives n i can look back at what i did last time. cos ngl i made some high quality stuff back then, n i dont even know how i managed to do that aldhflhdsgk. also ppl do look at archive blogs every now n then for the content thats there yknow

BUT YES anyway if u do decide to join the idv ask blogs hmu, ill be sure to give u a lil shoutout here. winks

[madmadmilk]

Like  Dark Chocolate Part 7 | Tom Holland x Reader (FINALLY)

IT’S BEEN A LONG TIME COMING, BUT WE’RE BACK IN THE GAME BABEYYY. Thank u for waiting so patiently~ it literally took like 6 months lol pls be kind ((pics not mine))

READ THE TEASER FIRST | PART 1 | PART 2| PART 3 | PART 4 | PART 5 | PART 6 | PART 7 | PART 8 | (Updates next week?)

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: You can’t help but fall into something familiar, something warm, something you deserve. He’s been waiting for you while you’ve been wondering. They say time heals all wounds, but the real question is, how much time does it take to even believe you’ve healed?

Warning: Swearing, sweating, and something like forgiveness

Word Count: 10.8K petals on the floor

Special thank you to some of my lovely BETAs: @fangirl-writer-awesomeness @laucontrerasv @spidey-waffles11 (and honestly anyone who sent asks looking for this. thank you)

-

“Same old Tom.”

Your head tilts as you look into those familiar chocolatey browns. You can see the arrow run straight through his heart. It’s the first time he’s hearing your voice say his name in a month. And it’s one of the few times you’ve let yourself say it out loud.

There’s a familiar taste that coats your mouth.

I don’t want to admit it but––

A shallow breath catches in your throat, a faint smile on your lips. You just can’t hold it back anymore, old feelings threatening to spill over.

I do miss you, Tom.

They were never really forgotten.

Just a little bit.

And well, you could never hide it from yourself.

You fight the smile on you dry lips from widening, you fight the warm flush ferociously crawling up your chest, you fight every urge in your body from jumping up to wrap yourself up and all around him.

You missed him.

And the bare sight of him is enough to drive you mad.

“It’s been a long time.”

“It has been,” you reply curtly, eating up the sight before you. He was dressed in a rush, slouchy, ruffled but smelling like a cosy detergent and sexy shampoo. The giddy smile has never left his lips.

The space between you both is maddening, easy to be made close, easy to pull further apart.

Your fingers twitch by your sides.        

Ha.

He probably can’t even remember the text he sent you–– “Blink 3 times if you miss me,” how the hell would you count how many times a person blinks? We do it all the time? When does the clock run––

But, Tom… Tom gets it. Of course he does.

1, 2, 3. 1, 2, 3.1, 2, 3.

A devilish grin stretches across his boyish face, an overwhelming excitement vibrating through him. He stood taller, shoulders hunched up as he leaned forward. It was a short victory he would hold against you and then it evenly faded into a relieved smile. The corners of his brows pull down as he lets out a soft sigh. You can hear the click of his tongue. His shoulders slump in satisfaction, and cheeks pinken as if his whole body being was saying, “thank god, thank god.”

He finally has your attention, better, at your admission.

His quiet voice confirms,

“So you have been reading the things I’ve sent you,” whispering now, “And listening?”

Haha.

You give him a blank stare, but inadvertently stretch your lips from smile to pucker to smile. You’re trying not to give him anything more than your telling blinks. You’re not going to make yourself anymore vulnerable, any more needy, any more…. generous. This was already too much.

But the silence gives him one more confirmation; tells him that you still think of him, at least enough to let him think you do. And this circular rationale reminds you of just how much of a sweet lil cavity he is.

An aching pain you can’t ignore.

He nods, wiggling his jaw while his eyes dance over your shoulders to your nose and back to your eyes,

“Good to know.”

Oh, hell.

Tom’s confidence comes and goes as he laughs to himself, only to flush in embarrassment. Neither of you can keep your composure. Both of your minds roll over all the little things he’s said in the messages and that’s more than enough to fill the remaining gap between you.

You feel like you know almost everything he’s feeling right now.

Almost, almost.

He clears his throat, scratching his head and bowing down,

“Listen, I–I really didn’t expect to see you at all. For the while. It’s just that Mal messaged me about an emergency, just saying that it was you and––“

“It was me. I sent it,” you clarify, not wanting to smear any more blame on your ill neighbor. Hadn’t she had enough? Questionably.

“I used her phone.”

“Oh,” he laughs emptily. You see his entire face sink in guilt. He scratches his head a little harder, trying to piece it together.

“She practically begged me to get your attention and she––“ he hums to your truth, “She showed it to me. I… I saw the messages she sent to you.”

Tom freezes, and drops his hand. He searches for an answer in your eyes. His blinks are slow, and the deep stare makes you all too aware.

Suddenly, you wonder if that was a breach of his privacy, if his healing should have been done alone. If you had stepped into a part of him you weren’t meant to see.

You step forward, putting your hands up.

“Sorry! Uhm, she… She let me read what she sent you, at the end… end of it all,” an uneasy chuckle falls past your lips, “She left your conversation open… and yeah, I saw a little bit. I think she was apologizing to me with it… or something like that.”

He nods, stare looking past you now, far away. He mutters under his breath,

“I’m still waiting for one too.”

And now you felt the restlessness of guilt; maybe it was a breach of trust. You squeeze your eyes tight for a second, trying to reorganize yourself, trust this and trust that. You’re getting tangled deeper into problems you were trying so hard to move past, smooth past.

The truth is all you have left.

You offer him a way out of the storm, praising softly,

“At the very least, I want to say thank you… for uhm, letting me know you were coming.”

His brows twitch into a furrow before he smiles gently, his cheek pulling.  His hands were itching to reach out, to hold you. And, honestly, if he did… you wouldn’t resist too hard. Maybe.

“Of course,” Tom confirms so lovingly. In that short phrase you can hear the tumbling of his feelings, the way he had to hold back from spilling his heart out and taking all of you in his arms, up and away from this cursed apartment.

But you both hear the echo of your own words, cast like a spell, “give me time.” So he did.

“And…. I’ll be getting out of your hair now.”

Your head tilts as you take him all in. His hair has dried, somewhere between curls and waves, the bags under his eyes are deep but the expression on his face is warm. You notice his pause, wondering if you should ask him to stay.

You can’t.

And he knows that.

Tom cracks into a laugh, rolling his head in a circle. You stand back on your heels, tension dissipating. He rocks back too, and starts to pick up his scattered jacket and hat. He puts them on quickly and you lean against the back of the couch. The apartment is quiet, save for the sound of his rustling clothes.

He heads to the door, ruffling his hair before he sticks it back under his cap. His hand is on the doorknob, cranking it slowly. He turns back to give you a dazzling smile,

“It was really, really amazing to see you again.”

You stomach flips. You can only nod and smile, as he holds your gaze. He looks down stepping out and––

“Hey! Tom?”

He looks over his shoulder expectantly, and you take the door. He’s still halfway inside your apartment, and sorely full in your heart. He raises his brow in question, stuffing his hands in his pockets as you hold the door open for him.

Here it goes.

“I… I stayed around because… I kind of wanted to see you.”

His jaw drops.

“It was nice.”

And that goddamn heart-stopping grin is burned into your memory. You could see the sunshine and hope leaking out of his pores as he smiles with an open mouth.

Ooh.

And with a boyish chuckle, he accepts.

“Thank you, Y/N,” the flushing boy turns back and retreats with a happy skip,

“I’ll see you around.”

My name.

You don’t let yourself watch him walk away for too long, and shut the door quickly. Similarly, trying to shut out the emotions welling in your chest. Warm, worn, weak.

If Mal was awake, listening, or even remotely on “your side” you could just imagine her slow clapping to that awkward exchange.

You and Tom had finally moved forward; maybe they were baby steps. Or maybe they were even something less.

Anything is better than where you were nearly a month ago.

You retreat back to the couch and sink into your spot, alone with your rambling thoughts. Are we in, or are we out? Are we back? Is there more? Are we less––?

Gah.

You laugh as you wipe your hands over your face. You pull your cheeks down and let out a garbled sigh.

It’s really annoying how much you miss the taste of chocolate.

-

☎️ “Hey, It’s Tom. Again. Uhm, alright… This…. This feels ten times MORE awkward now that I know that you actually listen to these. Haha, shit! And I’ve sounded so pathetic in every single message–– hahaha, but, uhm, thanks. Not sure what part I’m thanking you for… but… I’m just thankful for you. Hah, hope that’s okay. I really just can’t believe I got to see you. It’s really been a long while, and I… I just wasn’t sure how we were even going to meet again. And, I realized I don’t have many pictures of you and you haven’t updated ANYTHING so––– oh, oh my god. I didn't mean to sound so fucking creepy! I swear I’m not checking on you everyday or something, hahahaha. Wah! I–– well. I don’t think i’ll ever forget what you look like, and I hope you’ll let me stick around……………… ugh, I’m the worst. For fucks sake. Hm….. you…. You really did look amazing, babe. I couldn’t breathe. And maybe you look even better without me……. Ahem. Ah, yeah. Sorry this is a fucking, that I’m a fucking mess. I’ll leave you be. Yeah. I’ll-- uhm, later. Bye, Y/N. I’ve missed you too.”

-

☎️ “Hey! Hey, uhm, It’s me. Tom. Again, again. Haha. Okay, uhm, totally slipped my mind, but I’ll be at Jay and Jae’s wedding like next, next week. Harrison said you were going as his date? Yeah, no problem with that. Just– uh, yeah. Just letting you know i’ll be there too. I know Mal, is invited so, she might be around? I’m not too sure. And… shouldn’t Zendaya be back around that time? Hahaha. Yeah, i–– This is just a heads up. I…. I won’t bother you there but…. Can i say that i’m looking forward to seeing you again so soon? Because I am….. Ooooohhhh….. Okay. Yeah, sorry. I’ll see you there, or not. Bye, babe.”

-

You smooth out your dress over your legs as you sit in a stiff chair. You kick your feet next to Harrison, lost on his phone. He ignores your fidgeting.

True to Tom’s voicemails, that you did listen to the moment you got them, you were at a wedding. Together, but not exactly. Jay and Jae were distant friends of yours, closer to Tom and his group of friends more than anyone else.

So naturally, Tom was there, sitting alone and far off, since Harrison took you as his date. He kept a professional distance, you would say.

Now, Mal was meant to be here too–– but she wasn’t. She declined without giving a specific reason, but you could imagine a few. The idea of fluffy bright whites, bouncy chatter and the honest glow of fairy lights might not shine too well on her particular shade of red.

Not that she doesn’t deserve her own sparkly moment in time, but you suppose this is all too fresh. And all too soon.

You reach out to touch the flowers wrapped around the chair in front of you. Were they real? Were they fake? You occupied yourself like this, and wondered…. Should you be feeling the same way as Mal?

Your eyes dart around, following strings of lights and greenery and warm sounds. Being at weddings, whether you knew the party well enough or not, has always made you feel loved. There's a certain warmth and love and respect that just overflows and spills into your own heart. Making you nostalgic for things you’ve never felt before.

So lovely.

Your thumbs smooth over a large petal.

And a ceremony like this…. Isn’t that bad. One day…

Your eyes flicker up, immediately finding that curious cute cavity.

One day maybe.

Tom is sitting with his arms resting on his legs. He switches between looking up, waving at distant friends and checking his phone, only to put it away quickly. He’s fidgeting too– trying his hardest not to look directly back at you.

You still catch him a few times.

You lean back, obscuring yourself from his view and  line up your arm with Harrison. You lean your head on his shoulder and laugh to yourself, pressing a fist against your lips to stifle it.

“Hm?” Harrison hums, craning his neck to see your face, “What’s so funny?”

You quiet down and smile gently. Curiosity is bubbling inside you and you feel like you’re in such high spirits–– the giddy nature of weddings is infectious, after all.

Is it because you feel like you have the upper hand tonight? Because Tom is trying so hard to not stare, but is so bad at hiding it? Because you feel like nothing can go wrong from this point?

Knock on wood.

Having Harrison by your side definitely feeds you a bit of confidence, at his expense. But you don’t think of that immediately. Things are only just coming to focus for you, and you eyes are willing to see.

You squeeze Haz’s arms softly, and suggest,

“Shall we invite him over?”

The golden haired boy scoffs, cocking his head back before looking at you,

“You sure about that?”

“‘Can’t leave him looking like a chump all by himself, right?”

He smiles at your thoughtfulness, raising his eyebrows then standing up. He calls over his friend quickly without much question. Tom perks up at the call of his name, and you could see his eyes widen across the ways.

He shimmies his way over, dodging people with a easygoing smile. He stands next to Haz, nodding his head politely,

“Hey, guys.”

“Hey, come sit with us,” you offer plainly, pointing beside Harrison.

You could see Tom doing the math in his head, but he doesn’t challenge it. He smiles instead, a little wary and a little stiff but thanks you. You could hear Harrison snort in dull annoyance, making you giggle.

You’re giddy for real.

Haz is sat between you two during the wedding ceremony, but you can feel whenever either of them turn to look at you, hot stares on your cheek. You all sit and stand together, following the procession.

“Is it hot in here, or is it just me?” the taller boy teases over the tension, bumping you with his elbow. You bump him back and he continues, “I’m in the line of fire.”

“Shut up!” you whisper back to him, catching Tom’s attention.

He turns to you, only like quarter cheek, but you can see the side of his eye wrinkle and how his cheek lift in a smile. You’re left looking at the teasing image of his jaw and ear and cheek and the tangle of waves on the nape of his neck––

Bring the heat.

The ceremony ambles on, and in the lull you hear Tom joke with Haz,

“Can’t wait for the drinks, man.”

Pffft.

His face was dusted pink. He needed something to keep him cool, something to do with his hands, and it might as well take the edge off too. It really couldn’t do much harm at this point. But would it even help with his nerves?

You stop yourself from giggling again, some kind of ancient, wretched, cliche girliness crawling out from you. You’re trying to play coy, but you can’t go exposing yourself.

Is this what it’s like to be wanted? And know you’re wanted?

Feels a little nice to be on this end, you have to admit.

You pull through the rest of the service, crying as the grooms whisper their vows to one another. Honestly you could barely hear it, but the way that they cried and smiled and cheered told you everything you needed to know.

Your heart swells as they kiss and walk by, everyone throwing handfuls of petals over them. It rains pink and white, a small flurry of love.

And while you take in the loving visual, you miss the way that a certain brunette turns back to catch a glimpse of you. Through the light mist of flowers, he sees a happy tear mark down your cheek and wishes nothing more than to be by your side and wipe it away.

“Catch you in a few,” comes Harrison’s voice and parting tap on your shoulder.

“Huh?” you blink, rubbing the corners of your eyes delicately.

He smiles, tilting his head towards company calling his name. He disappears into the crowd after giving your shoulder a squeeze and Tom a sharp pat on the back.

Ah, alone at last. You roll your eyes and nod to yourself.

There’s a wave of people leaving the ceremony to walk over to the reception hall, but you end up waiting in your row with Tom. You step close to his back, peering over him to see if it would be any easier to get out. You don’t talk.

After a while of being stuck, you both dart between chairs and exit the opposite way. You feel his hand almost touch the small of your back as he urges your way through.

The touch doesn’t connect, but a part of you wish it had.

You laugh bitterly as you push through the doors that lead out. It’s more than a bit ironic that you meet again at a wedding. The place of commitment and love and attempt at eternal happiness.

It’s kind of funny actually.

You step onto the sidewalk, shivering slightly at the cool spring weather. The smell of spring and summer was strong, but your teeth still chattered.

You stand side by side as you wait to cross the street, cars zipping through. You’re too aware of the space you hold between each other. You hold your hands to your chest and look ahead to the reception hall, glittery lights and soft noise wafting through.

“That was beautiful,” Tom comments quietly.

“Wasn’t it?” you smile, brought back to those glimmering emotions. You blink the wetness away from your eyes as you face him for a moment.

I’m such a sucker.

His hair is gelled back neater than usual, though a rogue curl tries to coil at the side of his head.

For…. things………..

“Mhm,” he hums, returning your gaze warmly. Those dark browns caught a twinkle the evening glow. Your heart beats oddly, as your lips pressed together. Tom smiles then taps the back of your arm, looking ahead of you.

“Let’s cross this street now.”

And you walk behind him, following his steps while skipping in your formal shoes, watching the broad sweep of his back in a smart black jacket.

You felt safe here.

Again.

-

Tom stood by your side as you crossed the threshold of the reception hall. The clack of your shoes against the hardwood didn’t catch any new attention but it sounded so fucking loud to you.You felt his shoulders roll back, as yours did, taking in the beautiful sight. Fairy lights and flowers and white drapery, hidden and highlighted by crowds of people. Wah.

You turn your cheek softly to look at him, your lashes fluttering. He was doing the same thing, both cautious of what to do and what to say next. You can’t stand at the entrance forever.

Oh, fuck it all––

“Hey! Tom! Is that you–?” a new voice crackles into range. Said boy ducks down and hollers back to an unfamiliar crowd, stepping away from you.

“Y/N!” and that call was for you, from a blonde you could hardly call yours.

You bounce back to Harrison, quickly hooking your arms into his without thinking. You wanted cover, fast.

Tom’s presence beside you was short lived as you went separate ways to greet some familiar faces, to your frail relief. You both get swept away in the tides of people, hardly saying goodbye to one another. Hm. You look back over your shoulder to see Tom smiling back at you gently. Hmm. He nods simply, then turns away.

See you later.

You suck in your cheeks, feeling a pang of disappointment as your expectations didn’t last long. But it’s fine. It’s fine. You weren’t even counting on spending the time that you did with him. Its fine! Really!

You float between hanging out with Harrison to meeting up with some old friends. Eventually starting to be dragged away by some especially gossip-y pals, Jenn and Sam. You hold on to Harrison’s arm as they tug you away,

“Nooooooo, guys, I can’t leave him by himself!”

Haz pries your fingers off one by one, sticking his tongue out and pointing behind him,

“Don’t worry about me, I have some other chumps to hang out with.”

You tilt your head for a second to see Tom, of course, looking down. His hands are stuffed deep into his pockets, laughing to himself, a pretty smile you wish you could have ignored. There’s a little unease that you notice about him too quickly, and that’s when you bounce back up.

Ha.

“Enjoy,” you say quietly, quite literally being pulled to the bar.

Conversation blends in seamlessly, with the help of some casual alcohol and swishy dancing. You haven’t met with them in along time, catching up and dissecting updates you’ve only seen through instagram and facebook. Then that drama starting spilling out as you look deeper into your cup, seeing where it all was heading….

“So, I heard Tom and Mal officially split,” Sam starts.

“Tom and Mal? They were a thing?” Jenn gasps.

“Yeah, official-ish–– right, Y/N? You roomin’ with Mal right now, yeah?”

And you nodded, “Yeah.”

“And they’re over? Done?”

Their eyes both shone bright with excitement, nearly licking their lips for the spill. Please, oh please! Share that shit!

You hold your shakey glass to your lip, wishing you didn’t have to answer this. But under their wide eyed stares and the desire to speak some truth, you squeak,

“Yeah, something like that.”

And they assume the pitying position quickly with,

“Oh, poor Tom. I knew he’d get dumped. He’s too nice and Mal was obviously taking advantage of that––”

And,

“Oh, well, I heard that Mal was just trying to use him to get back with someone.”

“Like, Jon, right? Or was it Tobey? I don’t remember––”

“Yeah, and Tom isn’t the type to date frivolously, so he must have known––”

Their story was wrong, but not so wrong. Just enough to get you itching. Itching to set it straight  and itching about whether or not you had the authority to correct them. Like what, just save Tom’s face, and tell them that Mal got what she deserved? That could be easy. But what happens when they ask about your role in this story–– is it even yours to tell?

“They did look great together though, Tom was head over heels for that bitch.”

“How could she let him go? I mean, the girl was all over everyone all the time, but Tom was a good one.”

They looked for him in the crowd, spotting him and cooing in pity. They were being so obvious, god. And at this point, you really couldn’t help yourself. You spoke in a hushed tone,

“Hm, actually, Tom dumped Mal.”

“Huh? For real?” and “Tells us what happened!”

You pause for a second, trying not to get in too deep.

“I don’t know for sure, but Tom realized he could… be better.”

“‘Be’ better? Not ‘do’ better? What do you mean by that?” Sam pushes, leaning closer to you, stepping by your side so you could both get a view of Tom swaying with some friends.

You shrug, turning your back to Tom, “I don’t know! I just saw the aftermath. I haven’t really talked to him, or Mal. It’s been tense–– you know?”

“Yeah, we get it,” Jenn nods solemnly, but perks up to wave, “We can just ask Tom himself! Hey! Tom! Harrison!”

Gah–!

Both of them are waving and making a scene towards the pair of boys somewhere behind you. You can only hunch your shoulders to brace yourself. It’s not like you could just walk away––

And “poor” Tom didn’t even realize you were there until the last second, freezing as he stops next to you.

Huuuu.

You’re very aware of how close he is.

With no formalities, no greetings, your friends cut right to it, only directing themselves towards the darker brunette,

“So, how have you been, Tom?”

He shrugs coolly, laughing sheepishly. His eyes are a little half-lidded as he blinked,

“Just… ask what you want to ask.”

Woah.

You look at him in dull surprise, Harrison too. You notice the soft pink glow on his cheeks and how he’s supporting himself on one leg. Maybe he’s drunk?  Maybe he’s just that ready to get it over with.

Cheers.

“Sooooo, you? And… Mal?”

“Not a thing anymore,” he shrugs again, holding up his beer bottle and smiling cryptically.

Your old friends turn on the pity again.

“Awwww, but you guys were so cute together!”

You have to squint your eyes at that remark, knowing they were egging him on. Buttering up the situation, but…. Ugh. You hate these kind of exchanges. But hey, transitions are important right?

Tom tries hard not to look at you as he nods slowly, explaining only a little bit more.

“Yeah, we… just didn’t work out. We… we wanted different things.”

You could see the questions bubbling in their pretty lil heads, but they offer some kindness, some room to take a breath.

“Oh, well good on you for getting out, Tom. We’re happy for you.”

And there it goes. You laugh under your breath at their blatant flip of the coin.

Tom smiles a little warmer this time, eyes crinkling genuinely.

“Thanks, ‘appreciate it.”

“And you know,” Jenn sings, shimmying her shoulders, “If you’re looking for a new, new love. There’s plenty of candidates right here!”

She bumps your shoulder, making you fall towards him. You dance a few steps forward, clinging onto his arm to balance yourself. You scoff as you stand up straight, your hand gripping his sleeve and nearly stretched across his chest.

Oh.

He stiffens beneath your touch.

Right.

You pull back to yourself, stepping aside as he clears his throat. Your brows furrow but he continues to speak uninterrupted.

“Ahem, yeah… thanks. I’m still–– I’m figuring things out. But I’ll be sure to do it right next time.”

Next time.

And you crack a one-sided smile, pursing your lips and looking down. Haha.

Harrison gives Tom’s shoulder a hard pat, not to be forgotten.

“If you get a next time!”

Oh, that was a bit pointed. A little sharp.

Tom opens his mouth in reaction, booing. Harrison laughs wide hugging his shoulders as everyone teases. You can’t look straight at him, knowing that you would fold and join into the glee all too quickly.

He looks too pretty in this light.

“Well, we still have some rounds to make,” Haz hugs Sam, then Jenn, then you, “We’ll grab a drink with you later.”

You close your eyes in the short embrace with Harrison, recharging. He squeezes your shoulder and starts to pull Tom away. Tom was in the middle of hugging your old pals, no hard feelings.

He gets to stand before you but speaks to the group,

“Yeah, ‘nice seeing you guys.”

The one rogue curl has turned into three framing his face, his canine pokes over his lip in a warm smile, and you feel the world stop turning.

“Y/N.”

You nod, giving him a quiet goodbye, tracing the lovely expression on his face. You blink softly, calming the pinpricks in your heart.

Damn.

And before you realize it, you’re smiling.

Greaaat.

It’s getting harder to deny that he’s got you got.

Cos now....

I’m actually kind of rooting for you.

-

How great is it that wedding playlists are full of love songs, huh? Gives you lots of material to think about as you bob your head to some bops with a chilled glass of wine in hand.

“I love you” and “I need you,” those are the songs singing. And the warmth in your face? You can blame it on the bubbly.

Right.

You raise your glass with another circle of friends as you spin in a daze. You let yourself blend into the blur of company, focused on remaining present.

Present as in–– not falling too back into those chocolatey clutches. Too soon anyway.

You don’t need to spend this time thinking about Tom. You don’t need to worry about where he is or how you’ll meet again–– in the next hour? After this wedding? Next week or…

Stop!

You’re just two separate people living on this planet, and your worlds don’t need to revolve around each other. At least, not all the time.

Tom is respecting your space, and you his. You don’t know what happened during this month long break, but… you still have time to think some things through. Whatever.

You nod along with friends to the music, finding your attention drifting away as the songs switch to something slower. The spell is wearing off, clarity is coming.

“I’ll be right back,” you hum but sure they didn’t actually hear you, and head to the bathroom.

And what a surprise, he is standing outside talking on his phone.

He doesn’t see you at first, kicking his feet on the floor and spinning alone.  You tiptoe past him, and maybe that was when he notices you–– you can’t fully tell either because you’ve already made it inside.

You make no impression of it, only looking at your face in the mirror. You take out an oil-blotting sheet and press it against your forehead. You look at your reflection, and it simply stares back. Nothing new, just some lines of wear and tiredness beneath your eyes. The usual.

You exit the restroom, and he isn’t there.

Hm.

You make your way, pulled into some conversations and breaking free for another drink, waiting at the counter of the bar. Your fingers tap against the counter fidgeting not out of impatience and––

There’s a raucous eruption of laughter and rustling beside you. You turn your cheek to see none other than, that man. He’s hugging another guy as they stuff a few bills into the tip jar. He notices you this time.

Small smile, and then disappears into the crowd.

You managed to smile back as your drink came and you flit away just as quickly. There’s an incredulous laugh that edges in the back of your throat.

Hmm.

Next, you go out for some fresh air on the balcony and, huh, he’s there, too. Harrison and Tom smoke some cigars with the grooms and you quite literally smack your lips and turn a heel to the other direction.

Not the kind of air you were looking for at the moment.

You sputter a laugh in disbelief, shaking your head as you clomp your way to… wherever the hell else.

God, you weren’t even looking for him! He was just always fucking… right there. Your pace quickens and you focus on the tap of your shoes as you run away––

But there’s something else in your step.

Disappointment?

Maybe it’s weighing on you that he isn’t making any moves. Not that you want him to, but you kinda did expect him to.You see him miraculously after a month and he leaves all those begging and wanting messages and now you see him here and–– nothing.

Shit, Tom. Don’t be such a great guy.

You laugh, shaking your head, feeling your hair come undone a lil. You tuck it behind your ear as you come back to face the twinkling lights.

You’re making it hard to ignore you.

You take a deep breath, rolling your shoulders back in an attempt to relax. Sliding your way back onto the dance floor, you find friends and hold onto your waning freedom.

Dancing is the best way to get him out of your head. He’s outside, you’re in a tangle, you won’t find him here. You won’t even look for him here!

Shimmy. Sing. Shake. Grind.

Your eyes are closed to just fall in tune with the music, and maybe you’re dancing badly but that’s always alright. Just enough to get the feelings out.

In the throes of expressing yourself with your body, you fail to ignore another body coming up behind you, shushing your friends. Warm hands melt down your waist, rolling with the contours of your hips.

You yelp, jumping up and falling back into the body. You turn to see that it’s just Harrison, laughing smartly. His cheeks are flushed as he hugs your waist close to him,

“Hello there, thing.”

Thing.

“God! You scared me.” You swat at him, as you struggle against his arms to face him. You hug his own waist back easily, fingers spreading across his back. You giggle sheepishly, feeling the full weight of tiredness as you’re finally able to lean on someone.

His warm fingertips gently brush hair away from your sticky face, commenting,

“You’re look beautiful, even 3 hours into this thing.”

“That’s the alcohol speakin’, Haz.”

“No, no.Just accept it,” his eyes soften, watery blue, “I mean it.”

Oh, the pang of guilt.

“Not looking so bad yourself,” you say, patting his cheek. You could feel the beginnings of stubble beneath your hand, sending shivers down your spine.

The song slows and you collapse into a dance together, feet shuffling softly and heads leaned. You take solace on his shoulder, breathing in his manly cologne, still going strong. You can smell a feminine perfume mixed along in there somewhere too––

“So, where’s Tom now?” you callously ask.

“Why are you looking for him?”

“N-no, I’m just wondering,” you callously reply.

Harrison shallowly laughs at your obvious interest, shaking his head to hit his chin against you.

“‘Trying not to keep bumping into you, he says,” you hear a deep sigh come from deep within, “Ya’ll are so annoying.”

His bold hand pats the space right above your ass in poor punishment. You inhale deeply, words spilling,

“I don’t know what to do with… with this, honestly.”

“Spend some time with him, you’ll know.”

You frown, craning to look back at him, eventually standing straight before him, “I… don’t want to.”

“Then don’t look for him,” Haz says firmly, bluntly, clearly.

He’s giving you an empty smile, his eyes icy. And it hurts your heart, hurts you knowing that he’s still having a hard time with this too. You step back, making distance,

“I’m sorry, Harrison–– I didn’t mean to.”

“No, no, you’re alright,” his eyes close, tilting his head. His perfect hair falls with his movements, “I don’t want you to pity me, just–– just let yourself be happy, or else i can’t move on.”

Woof.

That’s the first time he’s said it out loud.

And you hear it loud and clear.

You don’t know what to say, offering him a crooked smile, eyebrows pulled. You try to give him a look that looks more like understanding rather than pity.

He chuckles, a bit more genuinely this time,

“What are we going to do with you?”

You bob your head. You’re a wreck and you know it.

“Dance?”

“I dare you to dance with Tom.”

“What?No way! I can’t do that,” you look past Harrison as he spins you. That pretty boy is standing alone against the wall somewhere far off. He’s not looking in your direction now, but you could never be sure of where his eyes were mere seconds ago.

“No!”

You want to tell Harrison that you’d rather dance with him, no one else, but that would just be twisting the knife in further. Pure cruelty.

“Come on,” Harrison hugs you from behind, swaying for a moment while he presses his cheek against yours. The grain of his stubble tickles your face as he whispers into you ear,

“There’s nothing to be worried about.”

Easy for you to say, is what comes to mind. There’s PLENTY of things to worry about–– but further burdening Harrison with your troubles is just.... Unfair, and you know it.

Fuck it all.

The song ends, and Haz lets you go with a soft spin and swivel. Your shoes tap on the hardwood, as he motions for you to go. It fills you with a little bit of confidence, if you can call it that.

You make your way, looking back to see the beautiful boy already chatting up some people nearby, his perfect smile on display. There was a little ease given back to you there. A little.

The songs get slower, and it’s harder to make it out there alone.

Your stupid eyes keep trailing back to Tom leaning against the wall, glass in hand. You suck in a breath and finally waltz yourself over to him.

At least you have the element of surprise on your side, right?

“Hey.”

“Ah! H-hey!” he’s caught off guard, pushing himself off the wall to stand tall.

You fall into place next to him, looking around as you control the pace.

“You enjoying yourself?”

You’re aware of how strange this sudden exchange must be, but you’re tired of running in place. You think Tom picks up on that too as his shoulder slumps in casual ease, able to speak loosely,

“Of course, great company and an open bar. It’s a good night.”

You break into a wry smile, wondering who and where his company was. You were out there with his best friend, who was left?

That’s a little mean, haha.

“You’re not gonna go dance?”

“No one I wanna dance with out there,” he bumps his head to the music, looking out into the sea, and back at you.

You exhale, taking a small leap,

“No one for the… past few months?”

Tom fights a grin, puffing his cheeks up as he turns to you fully. His eyes scan over your face, looking for permission to be back on that cheeky shit,

“There’s only (1) person that comes to mind.”

Mmhmm.

“––Well ,a few ones. But you’re the main one, don’t worry,” he jokes with a weak smile.

That’s enough to make you laugh though, his easy teasing. You fix the strap of your dress as you smooth out the conversation with just as much tact,

“So, how have you been otherwise, busy?”

“Yeah, a little bit, and you?”

“Not busy enough,” you laugh, maybe this wasn’t so easy. The nervous energy boiled in the pit of your stomach as you kept talking, “––with work and class and stuff. It’s been slow but i’d rather be stressed. I don’t know it’s weird, being idle.”

“No, no, I get it,” Tom points his finger as he takes a drink, maintaining eye contact, “Don’t overwork yourself though.”

“Thanks.”

And the conversation stops, not flowing to the next thing like it used to.

There should be so many things to talk about, so many things to catch up on, movies, shows, life, anything! But there were still wrinkles you had to iron out, not to be forgotten.

The silence isn’t unpleasant though, though you can credit that to being at a loud and rowdy wedding. Lots of background noise and things to avert your gaze to.

“How’s Mal?” he asks outright and suddenly.

“Doin’ better,” you reply just as earnestly, “Haven’t talked to her much though, if I’m being honest.”

“That’s good. She… really worried me last week, but we left on good terms.”

Thank god.

You face him fully this time too, “I’m glad. That’s great, Tom. I’m really happy for you.”

He puts down his glass, scratching his nose to hide his face. You can see his eyes were a little watery while his brows furrowed,

“Listen, I– I gotta clear some things up with you too. If you’ll––”

You hear the loud crackle of a microphone, eyes directed towards the mass of people rushing to the dance floor. The DJ announces it’s time for the bouquet toss, people pushing beside you asking you to come join, Hands reaching out as they pass.

Uhm, hell no.

You shake your head in rejection, it may just be superstition, but you’ll take no chances. Predictions for the future made you queasy, forever waiting for those star sign events to come true. It’s limiting, in a way. Strings of people pass by you, pulling at you and Tom to join. They smelled a little too hopeful and a little too much like alcohol.

“Come on, you’re single. Just go!”

“No thanks,” you breath.

“Why, are you taken?”

“No,” you had to reply over and over.

You held still, your stomach churning for some reason. Maybe it was just having your future ~love~ predicted and dissected by a crowd of people. You just felt rushed and hot and annoyed. These festivities were meant to be fun, harmless! But you feel too conscious about it in this state.

“Want to get out of here?” Tom offers, expertly sensing your nerves, his hand already hovering over the small of your back.

“Please.”

He takes the outside and you walk along the wall, weaving through threads of people while his hand guides you. You couldn’t look at him, embarrassed about your mini-meltdown as he leads you out into an empty hall. It led to a quiet lobby.

No one was there, the only sign of use were the half-drunken booze littered across a table. There was still plenty of room to stand and talk. You lean against a marble column and look out the window. There’s meant to be a view of the city, sparkling at night, but the glare allowed you to see your reflections. Both of you stood apart and stiff.

You hug your shoulders, thinking of just moments ago, “Pushy.”

“Sorry about that,” Tom offers, leaning against the same pillar, close. “Is this alright?”

“It’s not you,” is all you can return.

You both take the moment to try to look past your own reflections to the outside world, listening to the muffled sounds of the DJ and blurry cheering. Soon enough, you push off the column stand closer to the glass, looking out and seeing clearly.

“I have to apologize for speaking on your behalf… about Mal.”

There’s a beat of silence before he comes beside you again, searching for the same view. In the faint reflection, you see his hand reach for yours and stop, stuffing his back into his pocket. He pretends he hadn’t moved at all.

“No, no, thanks for saying something. I, uhm, I didn’t mean to put you on the spot.”

You both chuckle, looking down–– no one really knows anything. It’s contained, it’s a secret.

It’s stills something that’s only between the three of you.

And it’s all you can think about lately.

What are we now?

During this gap, you’ve spent so much time thinking about what to say, and what you would do when you get the chance to speak one on one…. But now you’re fumbling. So far, you don’t know anything about thisTom. This Tom you have seen for days, weeks, months. You don’t know what he’s being doing, how he’s doing or what he’s even thinking about–– not like before. Not like back when you could read his mind. Not like when you knew, “I’m on my way” meant “I’ll be 10 minutes late, but I’ll be there.”

There’s so little to go off of.

The boy before you wasn’t a complete stranger, but not exactly a friend either.

And you don’t know where to start with that.

You cross and uncross your arms in the dragging echo of silence.

You feel like a child, helpless. You feel like a teenager, confused. But worst of all, you felt like an adult who has no idea what the fuck to say.

It would have been comforting to know that Tom felt the same way, but you didn’t notice that. You didn’t see how his forefinger pressed into his thumb, and how he bit the inside of his cheek, navigating the same path to the truth and apology.

It would actually be a relief for someone to burst in at this moment.

But the time for peace and clarity has arrived, and you both know you shouldn’t let it go.

“I’m sorry for… kissing you the last time I saw you. The last, last time, I mean. At the party,” Tom courageously blurts, turning a frustrated red. He steps back to the column, leaning against it as he balls his hands into fists,

“That’s one the biggest… things I have to say sorry for. And… yeah, you know the rest. I just–– I know that I shouldn’t have done that. The alcohol and confusion isn’t an excuse… and yeah, it’s disgusting, I know.” He trails off, hoping that you would pick up from there. But you don’t, properly giving him time to say what he needs to,

“I–I’ve been so lost for so long, you know? Looking for someone to be with, and Mal was there. She was someone who wasn’t perfect, needed help… Someone I thought I could help. And I wanted to stick through it, but when I met you––aside from what happened between us, you taught me that I deserved better. Better than someone who wouldn’t do anything in return for all I’ve done. That that relationship isn’t… something I had to destroy myself to save,” he looks up, looking for you.

“You just… none of this is your fault and you don’t need to feel bad for any of it. For me.”

Tom laughs, shaking his head more curls and waves coming undone.

“You don’t need to be anything to me. But I’m just going to be the sap that’s still falling in love with you for a while longer.”

The laugh takes a bittersweet turn, and you can tell he wishes he were holding your hand–– anything to physically show you he means it. But you’re not sure you’re ready for that kind of direct touch just yet.

You’re just absorbing it all in. It’s been a tumultuous few months, both caught in a vicious tide. Rolling, tumbling, drowning–– and it’s not an excuse for either of you. You can’t just let things fall where they may.

“No… Tom, I have to apologize too,” you start shakily, after you hear cheers from the vibrating reception.

“For what?”

Breathe.

The past few months of getting close to Tom, getting closer and falling apart, run though your mind. And you really wonder if he thinks that you are blameless in this catastrophe.That you hadn’t seduced him or wanted him while he was promised to someone else.

That’s pretty shit of you, right?

You lick your bottom lip in a small smile, Tom always had that kind of innocence about you. The assumption that you don’t play the game, that you could never wish ill-will. He could never think that you had ever schemed against his relationship.

And you didn’t, explicitly, but….

“Tom,” you dig your heel into the ground, leaning against the window while you watch his face, “I shouldn’t have ever… tempted you–– or spent that time with you. Back then, in the beginning, you had Mal. And I walked right in between you.”

“You didn’t.”

“I did, and maybe it wasn’t forcefully or with the intention of taking you away but… it was wrong of me to even try to confuse you. It was selfish and stupid.”

And it hurt everyone involved.

Whether it started with you is up for debate, but you want this cycle of hurt to end with you. Or end with the truth.

You think of Harrison and even Mal. Maybe it’s not your fault or Tom’s fault, but it’s hard to feel blameless as you assess the damage.

“If I hadn’t gotten involved, none of this would have happened and…”

Your eyes shift left and right as you wait for his reply. Tom hangs his head, rocking for a moment before coming back up to smile,

“It’s okay.”

His words hang in the air, releasing you. And something has changed, with your confessions, something has reverted back to those glossier days. He teases,

“I’m glad you confused me.”

You scrunch your nose at your words being brought back.

Tom and Mal’s relationship was rockier than either of you knew at the start, and with your intentional slash unintentional meddling, lots of things came to light, got messy and now… you’re here.

Confused.

Far from the start, but still just as lost.

Tom’s brows raise and soften as he watches your heart on your sleeve,

“I…. I know there’s still a lot to think about but… I gotta say that I’m so happy that you’re still here talking to me.”

You have to laugh, one that you can’t swallow and pretend. You rub the corner of your eye, and muse,

“I’m not that cold, Tom.”

But you had been, and he knew he deserved it.

And while time has not swept away all the hurt, the path seemed a little bit clearer.

There were still some things you couldn’t deny.

“Hey... You know what?”

He hums in response, kicking off the column to come stand beside you again. You could see the pretty wrinkles on the side of his mouth deepen as he breathes into a smile.

You start,

“Despite this mess, I’m glad I got to know you. At all.”

His dark eyes widen as he takes it in, the future still in question. His pale hands yearns to reach out to you, and even with this new confidence he is wary of rejection. Instead he cuts through the still and get straight to it,

“What does that mean?”

You felt caught off guard at his parry, but your answer comes out all on its own.

“It means that, I’ve liked you, Tom. and––”

And?

“I don’t completely want you out of my life.”

You find yourself smiling as you tuck your chin back in embarrassment. That sounded an awful lot like you still felt That Way about him. You shut your eyes and sigh, shaking your head a little bit.

“Not completely?” he repeats, egging you on for more. He leans close to you, making his way back to your heart.

You chuckle under your breath.

“Let’s start over.”

Tom’s brows harden.

You stretch out your hand towards him, which he cautiously accepts as you put out the flames.

“As friends.”

There’s another loud round of applause that echoes through the hall. Shouts and whistles bleed out to the lobby.

“As friends,” he murmurs.

You shake firmly, avoiding his eyes as your hands fall back to your sides. You turn your cheek to face away from him and suggest,

“Let’s get back in, yeah?”

You don’t want him to see the strange, flustered, excited, happy expression drawn so obviously on your face.

“Let’s,” Tom agrees easily.

His hand smoothes over the small of your back, in a brave and bold little show of camaraderie.

Let’s start off as friends.

You smile stiffly, because you don’t want him to know that your heart is pounding like it used to.

That it would be too easy to melt back into that old mold.

Let’s just see where we go from there.

-

As with all romantic dramedies, you enter the party together with no resolution or closure to your prior conversation. And once again, you are immediately swept away into the tide.

You lose each other for a moment, following the flow of people and conversation.  But this time, you find your way back to one another, willingly.

Tom stands tall by your side, instead of cowering away, and you roll your shoulders back with inviting poise. You feel at ease and he smiles warmly.

That’s not to write off the unbelievable and undeniable tension stretching in the small gap between your shoulders. It’s TOO real.

Your hand had bumped his once, and you both jump back and fumble over hurried apologies.

“Sorry.”

“You’re good.”

And it’s back to standing still but not too still. You both manage to relax with your favorite blonde slash brunette makes his way, and stands in between. He’s throws his arms over both of you, drunken weight pulling down as he sways.

You laugh at the rumple in his collar, fixing it while berating him for still being so drunk at the end of the night. Harrison waves the hand on your side and twirls a finger in the air,

“Indulge a little.”

The celebration nears the end as the lights dim and people start making two lines by the exit, standing together holding party poppers to burst over the grooms in the grand finale. A parting gift of glitter and petals and kisses.

Tom has placed Harrison in a chair by the wall, both of you standing nearby. You both snicker  as he rubs his eyes and checks his phone, undoubtedly texting you both.

Facing forward, you hold the small device in your hands as you wait together, scraping to make small talk. Your voice startles him.

“You know, Z is coming back in a week.”

Tom’s eyes widen, looking at you with genuine surprise. He nods, looking for more,

“Oh, for real? Does she want––” His eyes dart from side to side, thinking of his next words carefully.

You finish it for him.

“She wants to see you. And uh-oh, biiiiig trouble.”

“Oh,” he pulls an exaggerated face, tugging at his collar.

“Not all bad trouble. But–– you know, it could help your case if you could help us with the move. Uhm, If I could trouble you with that.”

Tom smiles wide, his eyes crinkling near shut as he looks down. This is your arm stretched out towards him, offering a path back to where he wants to be. But it’s just a feeler, if anything at all.

“Yeah, of course, I’d love to.”

You giggle, shaking your head. No one wants to help anyone with a move, dummy. God, you don’t want to take advantage of his feelings but–– he does have a car and some apologies he wanted to make. Haha, it’s nothing malicious! You could just use the help.

“I can bring Haz and Jacob too, if that’s alright.”

“Oh, I don’t have that much shit.”

“Just Harrison then?”

Your eyes scan over him, wondering if he was worried about spending time in the same place as 3 women who were, arguably, after his throat. You really can’t blame him for looking for some protection.

You offer your sympathy with a edging smile, “Yeah, bring the drunkard with you. He’ll be a lot of help, yeah?”

You both turn back to look at him, squinting into the crowd. You laugh as he finally finds you, and offer him a little wave. You turn to Tom to see if he was waving too, but he wasn’t.

His face is close, and tilted towards you. You could see those freckles you missed so much, and the brow you’ve always wanted to tame. You could smell that faint boyish cologne that always reminded you of home––

“Oh! Here they come!” Tom interrupts, his whole face perking up animatedly. His smile is so wide and true, leaving you in a daze and you turn back to the grooms.

They make their way through the lines, dressed in white, only to be covered in glitter and streamers and petals.

You squeal in excitement, screaming congratulations as you pull the string and feel the pop in your bones. Tom is whistling and howling beside you, a cheeky hand making its way across your back.

Goosebumps prickle across your skin as you watch the new couple pass.

Hey.

They disappear into night, as the crowd collapses into one. You hear stray pops and fizzles, delayed responses but none to go to waste. The flurry of confetti is dense and never ending, feeling like a stubborn snow flurry in the early spring.

You lean into the warm palm into your back, and spin to find it’s owner.

Through falling flowers, muted music and passing bodies, you turn back to Tom.

Lovely Tom.

And he’s found you too, hair tousled just right and lips a rosy pink.

Picture perfect and sugary sweet.

“Hey, you.”

Your back is still blooming with warmth even after his hand falls away.

“Hey.”

Before the flurry ends, he’s pulled you aside to avoid the bustling of people making their exit. The dim light and soft rustling makes you feel small and lonely, yearning to be held again.

Your eyes shift towards Harrison, coming up from his seat and taking a video of the falling flowers. You blink back into your body.

Straightening yourself out, you tuck hair behind your ear, making rogue petals fall out onto the floor. You and Tom laugh, as he brushes his shoulders off and shakes his blazer.

You’re shaking off your dress as Harrison comes up, and Tom speaks low,

“Can I give you a ride home?”

Oh, the night’s not over.

You look at Haz, still in and out of his coordination and seeing that he was your ride… you agree. You walk with the pair of boys clinging to each other into the warm night and softly bump into Tom’s shoulder.

“Did you plan for this?”

He raises his brows to give you a smug smile,

“Nope, only hoped.”

You roll your eyes as you get into Harrison’s car–– Tom must have gotten a Lyft or something. Harrison surrendered his keys and quickly settled into his seat up front. He dozes off quickly, dropping his phone and making no reaction.

Tom snickers as you take a picture of the blonde sweetie, sitting back to type on your phone.

He plays some whatever late night radio music, and it’s quiet in the car but it’s not so bad. It’s comfortable.

You don’t feel the pressure to talk after all the talking you had already done.

You focus on picking off flowers that have gotten into precarious places, and rub the glitter off your skin. You seethe,

“These better be biodegradable.”

And Tom laughs, glitter and paper confetti falling out of his hair.

He takes you home on familiar dips and turn, getting back to your apartment in no time. You almost forgot about your roommate for a moment too––

He parks to the side and as you gather your things he runs out to get the door for you, making you blow up at your hair. You take the hand he offers as you step out,

“Thank you, thank you. That’ll be all.”

You start to walk to the front door, realizing Tom is following you after the car door shuts and you hear his hurried steps. You look at him, lips pressed to avoid a smile. He shrugs,

“Just want to make sure you get inside.”

You both look towards the door, only a short distance away. And reconvene with those dark browns, curious to see what could happen next.

He understands that there’s still a line, still a few things to settle. And you appreciate that–– except for the fact that your insides are buzzing to take him in, to watching something dumb or to catch up or to drink drinks or to just to have him on your couch again.

But it can’t be tonight.

You climb up a few steps, making yourself a lot taller than him, and lick your lips,

“”Thank you, Tom. Uhm, it was nice talking to you again.”

“It’s my pleasure,” he scratches the side of his neck, “This eases some of my worries.”

“You don’t have to worry,” you say softly leaning back.

“But I want to.”

You shake your head, throwing your shoulders up as you laugh,

“Stay worried then!”

Tom pouts, slapping his arms at his side in defense, and you only rub your nose.

“Thanks,” he sarcastically nods, continuing the banter. He wants to spend more time with you too, to wrap himself in that fuzzy gray blanket and tell you how much you meant and mean to him. But he rocks back on his heels, trying to get away from your sweet scent and away from the sweet licks of temptation.

Let’s not make the same mistakes twice, yeah?

“Text me when you make it back, okay? Tell Harrison to too,” you conclude, stepping on the brakes.

He smiles a little too wide at the permission you just gave him, and you only realize it a second after. Then the lines of communication were open again, that this is something you will really move forward with–– and as Tom bows his head to hide his ecstatic grin, you catch sight of a stray white petal knotted in his locks.

“Hold on!”

You reach forward instinctively, and he keeps his head lowered. You hold the side of his head with one hand, the bottom of your palm smoothing across his forehead and the other plucking the petal from a nest of gel,

“Got it.”

And he looks up then, with no warning. You hand frozen in place, and ultimately cupping his cheek. Your thumb presses against the corner of his lip, pressed in a gorgeous and heartbreaking smile.

You manage to speak, “Look, silly.”

Your hand shakes as you show him the white petal between your faces, and he defiantly looks past it and straight at you.

“You can keep that,” he whispers, making your hair stand on end.

And it’s funny because your arm lowers, and your hand slides off his burning cheek onto his chest. You smooth down his lapel and hold his gaze before you let your hand fall back to your side. You wished nothing more than to tumble forward, to collapse back into his arms. To embrace him wholly, for him to embrace you back.

To forget the stupid messes made and fall in love with the sweetness again.

“I will.”

There’s still a trust to be earned, a new recipe to follow. Proper ingredients, real sugar and in the end, it’s still gotta taste good too.

But, oh, what would wouldn't do to kiss him again.

To take a bite of that sweet chocolate.

“I’ll see you soon, Tom.”

I wonder what it would taste like now?

-

-

-

A/N: …… FINALLY. OH MY GOD. it’s been like what, 6 months? Since December? This series took a hard hit because of my birthday and holidays and tumblr banning blogs left and right. I’m glad to return to it, and fucking… END it. Thank you so much to those of you who have stuck around, remembered this series and asked for updates! This is for you.

If you can, please like, comment and reblog. I want all of those who have been waiting for this to see the end! Maybe like 2-3 more chapters left?

And i’ll let you know when i can update next. The next one won’t be as long, so maybe i can get it out in a week or two?

Track #LDC or #Like Dark Chocolate to see the updates!

Again, thank you so much and i love you guys! See you very soon.

Peace,

Madmadmilk

[unproduciblesmackdown]

um hello excuse me i just listened to that teenage dirtbag video and now i have no choice other than to ask you... what is up. that voice was lovely, the range the performer had when switching to the girl's role i?? hello??? so is this the uh... god um. dear evan hansen or the uhhhh oh my god sorry im typing as im thinking this is hell. the other one. be more chill? i have some friends into these things but never paid much attention but after that vid my inch rest is how do you say, Peaked.

it just hit me that the right word was actually 'piqued' rip me

hahahaha yeah i can tell you All About It.....see my origin story is that uh. fuckin uh right so i vaguely knew deh existed back when it was broadway-debuting at the end of 2016 and probably many of us were vaguely aware it existed, but then in the next summer (2017) i heard a cover of one of its songs and i was like “i can tell this is one of those songs that would be given way more context if i knew the plot” and by that point the wikipedia entry had a plot summary available and i got that context and even though he was fairly briefly mentioned, one of the side characters Piqued My Interest b/c i just knew like. aha that already feels like a character type i would rly latch on to. and this was in the back of my mind for a while and for like the next year i would intermittently check out another song or two or get a little bit more lore, but it wasn’t until like, fall 2018 i finally went “you know what, i am gonna dive in for Maximum Lore actually” and my motivation for doing this was cuz i wanted to find out all the info about The One Side Character lmfao, like, the “main plot” and “entire actual show” to me is just the Lore for him basically b/c that was truly my angle hahaha and my interest was further piqued b/c like i quickly went “oh so he’s secretly in love with the protagonist right, got it,” which like. was a latent vibe i got from that very first wikipedia plot summary readthrough tbh lmfao. and is True.

and then even after deciding to dig into the lore and confirming that Yes i love this character as i thought i would it took like another week or two before i ever like, Watched dear evan hansen lmfaooo and i’ve never stopped complaining about the show since ljdfs but not Not b/c the character isn’t as good as i thought (or b/c Nothing Else is good either, but. you know how it is. #canon 9_9 ) and then in the course of looking for More Content i was you know, looking at a variety of posts On Here and looking at some behind-the-scenes / bonus content type stuff on youtube and went “oh well hey the actor that plays that character i love is also a nice funny guy according to testimony and also that i like his vibe in these vids” and, fun fact as is the nature of live theatre (and it being like, oct / nov 2018 by then) he was not still the Current actor for said character but had, in fact, moved on to be more chill and Already Completed a late summer off-broadway run as the lead (and a bway run had been announced already, though im not Certain i remember the point / how i became aware of this lol).....which again, i too had Heard Of (and had once ages prior coincidentally leafed thru the book once and read a few excerpts but knew nothing abt anything beyond that).....but hilariously while i Knew he was in bmc thru some 101 research, i was like “okay i’ll move on to that in a sec” while focusing on deh for a while still b/c it was not until i happened to casually look up “okay so what does his character do in this show i’m completely unfamiliar with” that i went “oh fuck he’s the LEAD????!!!” lmaooo like i did Not realize this and that upped my urgency abt it

a very very broad description of bmc is that it’s a Fun Show coz it’s this teen scifi Magical Realism plotline classic musical comedy type of thing, a genre we all already know and love lol /j, and importantly, the music is fuckinggg Bops. very common “gateway drug” is This song. there’s an Original Broadway Cast Album all on youtube (and, somewhat confusingly im sure, an Original Cast Album, but that was an off-off-bway run, and i’m interested squarely in the off-bway and bway versions lmfao, so, and that is what one will get recommended from me (more updated versions of all the songs anyways)) and also, this is basically a tangential thought i had but circling back around to deh, My Guy (will roland as jared kleinman) does not actually get all that much singing material in the show (v different situation from be more chill) even in the song that features his character most heavily, but that song also happens to be the most fun song in deh and also a bop, and here’s an especially fun live performance to check out if u wanna, the other two dudes are not official cast members lmfao but still

and like, when all this deh-ing and enthusiastic bmc-ing (which i got into Just In Time to be following along with its broadway run, which was very fun to do) affirmed like boy i love this Actor’s Material for sure, i did a little digging into his nicher Credits, including, one fateful day in march, his tv credits, which meant i like stumbled across the fact he has this recurring role in Billions(tm) and that stumbling = immediately falling flat on my face b/c i Loved the content and we coincidentally got really into it Just In Time before the next season’s stuff started airing with him in it, and that was truly an Experience we’ve been having ever since. that’s it’s own insane tangent b/c this show is fucking Something Else but, jsyk, since i am talking about “billions” left and right and stuff, that’s the vague context for that. latched onto a character -> the actor -> the actor’s other stuff, and that [other stuff] is getting brought up around here a lot, especially billions.....we’re having fun and following our hearts with it lmao

i’m Not Great at finding a balance between “doing an elaborate lore dump when someone asks me ‘what’s X about?’ and i spend the next several hours just play by play walking them through the whole thing” and “trying to avoid doing that where i get Too In Depth and instead end up just overly glossing over it all and they’re like ‘that doesn’t give me any info :/’” but i Can and Will talk more in depth about any of this stuff b/c yeah........but between deh and bmc, i definitely like bmc more Overall and....in the specifics of it too.....and like the obcr way better......and uh Everything about it better lmfaooo but i also love the particular characters Jared and Alana, side character teens in deh, so im always about That as well..........but if u were like “hm which might i look into a little first,” i gotta say like, i like bmc better both as a matter of My Personal Taste and from a more critical standpoint of “what is the show meant to be / does it accomplish what it wants to” type stuff. even though deh is the critical darling lmfao go figure! *i* decide what’s good, actually, and as we all know, i’m correct and a genius. which, haha im joking, but i Am right and i Am not Not smart in ways lol

aaaaaaand yeah additionally like. can and will answer Any more particular questions about any of this shit b/c, it’s my shit, and you know how i roll

and p.s. glad you liked the Teenage Dirtbag it is such a good performance lol. naturally getting real into this one actor / singer’s shit means that there’s also stuff Outside [performing a particular role] which is still some sweet sweet content, such as other solo performances during a concert / cabaret stuff.....the lore is Very Rich and is V Good so it’s fun

[hotchupacabrasinmyarea]

GET TO KNOW THE BLOGGER.

can be used for RP  &&  non-RP blogs to get to know a bit about the person behind the screen

1. FIRST NAME  : cline 

2. STRANGE FACT ABOUT YOURSELF  : i can’t drink tea. it’s not that i dislike it, there’s some tea flavors that are really good! but tea...drinking it, being around it for too long (as in i can’t go into a fucking teavanna for v long)...it makes my head fuzzy and i start feeling dizzy so i have to sit down. it seems apple cider has a similar effect, but it’s worse when it’s hot. and it’s definitely not the caffeine bc i subsist on caffeine. but like i don’t know if “fresh air” helps bc my best friend dragged me to teavanna at a mall and even when i left the store and sat down on a bench it took me a WHILE to even begin feeling better. don’t know what it is! 

3. TOP THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE ON A PERSON  : i...hm. i don’t really know what i find attractive in real people? because it’s pretty all over the place. fictional characters is like... glasses, long hair, and women who can kill me

4. A FOOD YOU COULD EAT FOREVER AND NOT GET BORED OF  : i am a highly picky eater so i don’t know i actually have smth that fits this, but probably potatoes...and i have an issue where my body doesn’t like eating things after having them for a while so!! 

5. A FOOD YOU HATE  : cabbage. mushrooms. bacon. tomatoes. don’t like most steaks, either. 

6. GUILTY PLEASURE  :  i feel guilty for every pleasurable thing i do so joke’s on you but i sure love collecting pins and my father gives me shit for it!!!

7. WHAT DO YOU SLEEP IN  :  ask my partner and they will tell you--i hate shirts. so honestly? my underwear LMAO. otherwise comfy shirts and softe pants. 

8. SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS OR FLINGS  : ooc--serious relationships. ic--depends on the muse. date here is “what he thinks are flings but turn into serious relationships” honestly. 

9. IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN THE PAST AND CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOUR LIFE  ,  WOULD YOU AND WHAT WOULD IT BE  : hahahaha boi this is a question you should Never ask me. if it was something that i could Change No Matter What? then that’d be my mom dying. if it’s smth that’s dependent upon my own power then i would’ve just...idk. ig talked to her abt some stuff that i need answers to and also say goodbye properly. 

10. ARE YOU AN AFFECTIONATE PERSON  :  very!!! esp when i’ve had alcohol then i tell my friends how much i love them repeatedly 

11. A MOVIE YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN  :  barbie princess and the pauper barbie princess and the pauper barbie princess and the pau

12. FAVORITE BOOK  :  oh damn. i haven’t like, actually read a book in so long. i would probably say....dealing with dragons tho, the first book in the enchanted forest chronicles. 

13. YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO KEEP ANY ANIMAL AS A PET, WHAT DO YOU CHOOSE  : i just want a cat. and a dog. i want a POM. i know this is supposed to probs be like for exotic pets but even in a world where i can acquire one--not happening. 

14. TOP FIVE FICTIONAL SHIPS   (  IF YOU ARE AN RP BLOG  ,  YOU CAN USE YOUR OWN SHIPS AS WELL  )  : okay umm...hm. top ships rn on date are just date/yomiel, date/kite, date/anna--they’re ALL GOOD. but ough otherwise? sunshine cupcake, fluri, wrightworth, science richass, and juleezen the moon is beautiful tonight. what are half of those ships you ask? it is a mystery ;)

15. PIE OR CAKE  : hmm...i think i like more cakes than i like pies ngl

16. FAVORITE SCENT  :  pink. just. just pink. i went to bath and body works and bought p much every pink soap i could find. 

17. CELEBRITY CRUSH  :  lynda carter probably 

18. IF YOU COULD TRAVEL ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD YOU GO  : hmm...i would like to go to japan. but only if my partner is with me. 

19. INTROVERT OR EXTROVERT  :  introverted as HELL. i go thru long periods of no human interaction and i build up my energy and then expend it all at once and then i have to go home and die. 

20. DO YOU SCARE EASILY  : nnnnot really when it comes to horror. but irl? i hear a strange noise late at night or if i’m alone? a man raises his voice? i’m in fuckin fight or flight mode baybee

21. IPHONE OR ANDROID  : android bc it’s. the only type of phone i’ve had gksehgh

22. DO YOU PLAY ANY VIDEO GAMES  : yea. like so many. (gestures @ aitsf??) i like visual novels, jrpgs, and calm shit like animal crossing & story of seasons. literally like. all my current muses (and strongest in reserve muses) are from viddy games. also if i don’t answer ur messages assume i’m either playing pocket camp or sleeping. 

23. DREAM JOB  : 50s housewife. which...is very similar to what sanchan mun said HM. i would love to be an author deadass. and childhood me yells “ballerina” in my ear. but i haven’t done ballet since preschool rip...

24. WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH A MILLION DOLLARS  :  i would...buy myself and my partner a cute lil house. and some pets. and save for our singular child. and also pay for our wedding. and donate to all my friends who need it...

25. FICTIONAL CHARACTER YOU HATE  : matoba seiji? it’s on fucking sight. 

26. FANDOM THAT YOU WERE ONCE A PART OF BUT AREN’T ANY LONGER  : on god? i feel like quite a few. but there’s one in particular that’s a very cursed...VERY CURSED series and i don’t want to admit to it. 

TAGGED BY  :  sandalphon! 

TAGGING  : Y O U 

[c-kaeru]

About the your country answer them all I'm curious ÒWÓ

WOAH DUDE OKAY LMAO

1. favourite place in your country?

The mountains !! (Ski stations lgdkjslngdfdh)

2. do you prefer spending your holidays in your country or travel abroad?

Abroad ? did someone say abroad ? of course I’m in duh

3. does your country have access to sea?

Yep, sea and ocean actually :p 

4. favourite dish specific for your country?

noooooooooooo why u asking now I’m fucking hungry and I can think of a dozen of french meals right now mkdfjsgjlmfg I can’t choose man (okay Imma tell raclette this time)

5. favourite song in your native language?

Answered ! 

6. most hated song in your native language?

mmmh try anything from Jul, maybe ? I don’t know what I hate, I don’t listen to current french stuff at all

7. three words from your native language that you like the most?

God I hate this kind of question. like, When no one is aksing I can think of a lot of pretty words and now, nada. sldjqkg

(I already did this question a while back and I don’t even remember what I said lmao)

8. do you get confused with other nationalities? if so, which ones and by whom?

Well I could pass for a lot of nationalities in Europe but so far that never happens to me haha (except maybe for one time in Iceland the cashier thought we were Swedish cuz he recognised our host university sweaters)

9. which of your neighbouring countries would you like to visit most/know best?

I’m going to Italy in February, so that’s one off my bucket list…But tbh I’d like to visit them all ( I just LIVE for travelling and learning new cultures man)

10. most enjoyable swear word in your native language?

“Putain” :p

11. favourite native writer/poet?

Answered

12. what do you think about English translations of your favourite native prose/poem?

Mhhh never…really came across one ? :O

13. does your country (or family) have any specific superstitions or traditions that might seem strange to outsiders?

We’re French, so probably XD But I can’t think of a specific one right now OH YES WAIT

LA BISE (aka when we kiss on the cheeks to greet ppl) I think we’re like one of the rare countries to do it so often and between us ? I HATE IT

14. do you enjoy your country’s cinema and/or TV?

I’m gonna let this talk by itself 

(I’m so not sorry)

15. a saying, joke, or hermetic meme that only people from your country will get?

“Mais, vous savez, moi je ne crois pasqu'il y ait de bonne ou de mauvaise situation.Moi, si je devais résumer ma vie aujourd'hui avec vous,je dirais que c'est d'abord des rencontres,Des gens qui m'ont tendu la main,peut-être à un moment où je ne pouvais pas, où j'étais seul chez moi.Et c'est assez curieux de se dire que les hasards,les rencontres forgent une destinée…Parce que quand on a le goût de la chose,quand on a le goût de la chose bien faite,Le beau geste, parfois on ne trouve pas l'interlocuteur en face,je dirais, le miroir qui vous aide à avancer.Alors ce n'est pas mon cas, comme je le disais là,puisque moi au contraire, j'ai pu ;Et je dis merci à la vie, je lui dis merci,je chante la vie, je danse la vie… Je ne suis qu'amour!Et finalement, quand beaucoup de gens aujourd'hui me disent :“Mais comment fais-tu pour avoir cette humanité ?”,Eh bien je leur réponds très simplement,je leur dis que c'est ce goût de l'amour,Ce goût donc qui m'a poussé aujourd'huià entreprendre une construction mécanique,Mais demain, qui sait, peut-être simplementà me mettre au service de la communauté,à faire le don, le don de soi…”

(Again, I’m so sorry) (this is from the movie the gif is from btw)

( @gouinetteparletrop tmtc XD)

16. which stereotype about your country you hate the most and which one you somewhat agree with?

I know there’s a lot of stereotypes about us but uh…I can’t think of one now :o

17. are you interested in your country’s history?

Yes !

18. do you speak with a dialect of your native language?

Unfortunately not, most dialects are kinda dead or only spoken very rarely by very few ppl

19. do you like your country’s flag and/or emblem? what about the national anthem?

Well yeah, I have nothing against my flag hahahah and our national anthem ? boy it’s badass and bloody I love it :’) (always give me the chills)

20. which sport is The Sport in your country?

Football, unfortunately (The soccer one, not the Amercian football)

21. if you could send two things from your country into space, what would they be?

Our government, and this fucking car

22. what makes you proud about your country? what makes you ashamed?

Da food, of course, and our spirit too…and all the rest I’m not really proud of hahaha

23. which alcoholic beverage is the favoured one in your country?

Why are you asking this to me, a french person

24. what other nation is joked about most often in your country?

um…Belgium, I think XD

25. would you like to come from another place, be born in another country?

Sometimes yes, sometimes no. I still like travelling so I don’t think that would change anything and I’m so glad I wasn’t born in an English speaking country. Like SO GLAD man. Otherwise…Yes actually, I often wish I was born in a cold northern country in Scandinavia ;w;

26. does your nationality get portrayed in Hollywood/American media? what do you think about the portrayal?

HAHAHAHA OMG I think France is always represented as super Fancy, and oh. The Paris thing. don’t get me sarted on this. Apparently, France is reduced to a single city when it comes to American/foreign media X) 

27. favourite national celebrity?

Can’t think of one X)

28. does your country have a lot of lakes, mountains, rivers? do you have favourites?

Mountains man. Mountains (tho we have a quite wide range of different landscapes)

29. does your region/city have a beef with another place in your country?

I don’t think so hahaha

30. do you have people of different nationalities in your family?

Well my great grandmother (my mom’s mom’s mom XD) is Italian, but otherwise I’m like, 99.999% French :’) )

Boy thanks for asking I had so much fun with these XD

[prettywordsyouleft]

Alphabet Tag

I was tagged by @jinyoungmoans - thank you lovely!

RULES: Answer the questions in a new post and tag some blogs you would like to get to know better.

A: Age

32

B: Birthplace

New Zealand

C: Current Time

1:56pm

D: Drink You Last Had

Water

E: Easiest Person to Talk To

Probably @ongsung - Ash and I can discuss literally anything and everything with ease! 

My best friend lives with me and I would say I can talk to @this-song-thats-only-for-you with ease too... but I tend to bottle my emotions too well in person, which is frustrating for her and me. We get there in the end though XD

F: Favorite Song

My favourite song changes a lot... but probably Icarus - JJ Project. I can listen to it on repeat and never grow bored. 

G: Grossest Memory

Ahh... I’m so old and I can’t think of anything that really grosses me out (minus the thought of my leg when it was broken, that just did my head in)... but recently Octavia unfortunately had a bout of diarrhoea whilst I was out doing groceries in her crate and well, it went EVERYWHERE. Cleaning that up was fun times since she had it on her, on the bedding, on the walls. She’s talented, I guess >_< 

H: Hogwarts House

Hufflepuff. At first I was devastated, but as time goes by, I find Hufflepuff really interesting. << Same as Nik, I always wanted to be Ravenclaw but am stuck in Hufflepuff.

I: In Love

Sure, I’m in love with a bunch of idols that have no idea I exist so ... forever alone XD

J: Jealous of People

I get jealous irrationally over people ... more so due to feeling inferior? So my jealousy stems from my own self-doubt and not the real situation. It’s something I am working on improving and realising I am worth people putting their attention on me. 

I used to judge myself against my peers and why was my life different but I’m too old to care about that now and like what I have mostly.

K: Killed Someone

If The Sims count, then yes. Once I let Daehyun drown in a pool on The Sims 3 because for some reason, the stairs wouldn’t let him out. My poorly constructed pool design >_> Thank god for save points and the Reset Sim option - my Sim would have been heartbroken to lose her fiance hahaha.

L: Love at First Sight or Should I Walk By Again?

Lust at First Sight is what I believe in. Loving someone comes from connection, so they’d have to walk by a few times haha. I definitely believe that connections can happen quickly with the right people. Even so, maybe I’m old-fashioned, but I do believe love needs time... Lust can be automatic and very fulfilling until love settles in. 

M: Middle Name

Joy. 

N: Number of Siblings

1 younger brother and 1 baby sister we essentially adopted (thanks anon for pointing my error!)

O: One Wish

For my family to stop struggling this year and fulfil all their goals they’re actively seeking out.

P: Person You Called Last

The people who owned the land our horses live on... their horse had no water. (So we gave him some since no one was home)

Q: Question You are Always Asked

From family: “when do you plan to stop making those fake babies and get married and have real ones?” / “when are you going to go get pregnant?” 

From tumblr: “when are you going to stop denying Park Jinyoung?” -- I already have :)

From my sister: “can I have more internet time?”

R: Reason to Smile

My family, friends, pets, creativity, kpop/k-dramas and a few more.

S: Song You Sang Last

All Night - ASTRO cos it’s literally playing right now and I failed MJ’s note haha.

T: Time You Woke Up

7am today.

U: Underwear Colour

Blue with white stripes. Yes I checked.

V: Vacation Destination

The entire Italian peninsula, even though I’m pretty sure I’d just be eating nonstop salads the entire time. I want to see the places I invested 5 years of study into.

W: Worst Habit

Overeating. I tend to feel guilty if there’s food left behind and will eat more than my share if it’s good too. I have to be pretty mindful when eating cos I can snack and not realise I ate more than I should have. 

Also, I try to take responsibility for things even when it should be up to another person, because I’d prefer to just get it sorted and control the situation again... I’m improving on this, but now people see me as giving no fucks about them so it’s kind of annoying.

X: X-rays

I’ve had so many in my lifetime, I could fill an entire bookcase shelf easily >_<

Y: Your Favourite Food

Chocolate. What shouldn’t I be eating anymore? Sugar. Sigh. I can do gluten free, but chocolate is just... so hard to give up. My goal is to be very successful in being gluten free and then go processed sugars free. Hahahaha future Chelle is crying already. 

Jokes aside, I love Chicken Katsudon, and Sesame Chicken. Both which are my favourite dishes to make. 

Z: Zodiac Sign

The other day I learned I’m not a Gemini, but a Gemini - Cancer cusp even though everything basically calls me a Gemini. After reading THIS ARTICLE I have never felt so connected to a piece of astrology facts until now. 

I have to go pick up my sister from school now, so I just tag whoever wants to do this Xxx

[livelovelaug-h]

Harder

Warning - it's gonna seem sexual but like April fool's. LMAOOOO you'll see.

Dean x reader

A/n- This is for @butiaintgonnaloveem Tiff’s WTF*ck Challenge. My line will be in bold. My line: "Harder is not a good safe word" thanks for letting me participate!! Sorry for taking so long.

Nachzehrer- ghoul like vampire creature. (German). Also all spelling mistakes are mine.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You and the winchesters have been doing cases one after the another after the another. And the worst part is your barely getting any sleep which means everyone is pretty cranky or on edge.

"hey can we stop and get some coffee?"

"yeah already heading there"

You guys got your coffee and sat at a booth. You just didn't know what creature it was this time, they were barely any leads.

You spoke up first "so who do we interview?"

"well the reports it says "there were graves that were undug and new bodies that were put down there had half their flesh ripped off. Then three nights before that there was a girl found in a dumpster that had her hesrt ripped out." Sam says.

"then the girls family?" You asked looking at Dean.

"yep. Let's go"

You interviewed the family and you found out that the girl started hanging out with a new friend two weeks ago, that seemed like trouble her mom said so now you have to find this guy. Also the day she died she went to a party with a few friends. You spoke up to Dean

"I don't really think it's that guy though all parents say that about girls friends or boyfriends."

"well doesn't hurt to check".

"Let's split up. You and sam go talk to the friends. and ill go talk to the Sheriff's and go to the graveyard, see if you can find any clues."

"okay, be careful please." You said and Sam ans you went to go steal a car and talk to her friend carrie.

~~~

"Thanks for letting us come in" you say.

"yeah no problem. So what would you like guys like to know?"

"do you know that guy that she was hanging out with by any chance?"

"are you talking about mace? The guy she met two weeks ago?"

"yeah him. Do you know where we can reach him by any chance"

"um no he said he just moved here and we never really hit it off so I never got his phone number".

"Oh alright".

~~~~~~~

The next friend - jamie-

"do you know where we can reach the guy by any chance that she met two weeks ago?"

"no. She didn't really ever ask to text or anything. He was new to town but he seemed weird."

Ofc. She didn't have it 😐

Well after interviewing the next friends and getting no where becuz no one had his number, you all decided to met Dean at a bar.

"did you find anything at the graveyard" you asked Dean.

"nope. nada"

"ugh this case is a dead-end."

You guys were sitting on barstools; it was Sam, Dean and then you on the end. A girl came up and sat right next to you.

"hey" she said. "hey"

"strange little town ain't it?"

"yeah it is"

"there's been like a strange vampire or creature thing happening here." She says and laughs.

"yeah.... Haha" you look over towards Dean he looks just as confused. " Do you believe in Vampires?"

"uh not really but its like the only explanation for this stuff. But idk I think it might be that new guy in town"

"new guy?" Dean asked.

"yeah his name is Josh. He hung out with the girl who died but it probably was just all coincidental. I think it's her other friend Alex. He was always started drama and he was so jealous of her."

"Probably. Do you happen to know where he is?" You asked her because she was mainly focusing on you; which was strange considering dean and Sam the two hottest guys sitting there RIGHT next to her. Just then a guy walks over to her hugging her and quickly kisses her lip. Ah maybe that's why she didn't look....

"what ya guys talking about?" He asks.

"you know that new guy in town Josh? Well they I was telling them about him. Do you mind showing her where he works?" She asked him all sweetly.

"yeah sure thing sweetheart".

"I'll show u guys the other guy"

"woah i wanna go with her" dean said. you looked at Dean & then the girls face she spoke up: "it's okay she'll be fine my husband is very protective". Her husband smiled big at you.

"Okay.... Wait.." dean came over and gave you a hug and whispered in your ear. "Remember the safeword".

"yeah. I love you too dean" you said and pulled away trying not to look suspicious.

You got in the car with the guy and it was pretty awkward since you didn't know him. You started asking him questions like how did him and his wife meet etc. He was a pretty nice dude. You got to the place the guy worked at and he said he was friends with him so you guys could go through the back door. Only problem was it was very dark in the back and there was an alley next to it; since Dean wasn't there you didn't really feel well protected.

You were looking down when he was just about to open the door when you felt someone head butt you and push you into the wall. Mad your head get all fuzzy. "

"You freaking Hunters weren't supposed to find us"

"yeah well we did so-". Next thing you know your world went black.

You woke up and of course you were tied to a chair. So you started working on getting out.

You didn't even notice it until he said it.

"oh so you're gonna be awake for this feeding"

You looked down at your side and saw blood oozing out not a time because it was slowing down.. you wondered how long you been out for.

"leave me alone"

Just then his wife comes in.

"I'll be back just give us a minute. you sit tight"

HA! You mocked him. You actually caught the one Rope free from your hands and started working on the other hand. It's been about 5 minutes and you got loose. you knew he would be back soon so you ran down the long hallway of where you were. You were completely out of breath when you hide behind a wall and heard your phone ringing.

You were huffing "h-h-hello?" It was dean thank God.

"Y/n? Where have you guys been?"

"..w- wh- with - that guy-...

"what are you guys doing? are you guys....?"

Before you could answer the guy grabbed your throat. You remember you could say the safe word. He was squeezing your throat so hard

So you moaned out "harder".

it sounded like you moaned In pleasure and Dean saw red and thought you were cheating on him. He told Sam to find your location and off they went to go find you.

When they went in it was dark and empty like no one was there. But then Dean saw you tied in a chair. He felt really guilty how could he think you cheated on him? I mean those sounds just sounded so real.... Like sex.... But rn he has to focus on getting you out of there alive. How could he not remember the safe word. You guys just made it this morning.

He saw your neck and side all bloodied

"well well well back to see the rest of the show?"

"let her go"

"she's almost finished though"

Dean heard a growl behide him and turned around punching whatever was behide him. He stabbed the vampire in neck with a small wooden steak. Then the wife from earlier comes charging at Dean and the guy starts fighting with Sam. He bites Sam a little but Sam and Dean both defeat the two Nachzehrer's. Their main concern is getting you home and untied.

"Y/n hey, hey wake up". You didn't answer. Dean cut your ropes and carried you to the impale the whole time praying to Cas.

Sam started driving to the bunker and you finally opened your eyes.

"hey"

"Hey there. How ya feeling?"

"I've been better"

"yeah you scared me. I thought you cheated on me and I saw you were bleeding. Harder is not a good safe word."

"Its not. And why did you think I cheated on you?"

"well you guys were gone for awhile and then you were out a breath and then you moaned harder what am I supposed to think?"

"Hahahaha. That's cute I love you too much I wouldn't cheat on you. but I moaned it because he was squeezing my throat"

"yeah I get that now. I'm sorry I love you too. From now on our safe word is----"

"spaghetti!" You said.

"yeah okay your back to normal" dean said and gave you a kiss on the lips.

The end!!

[skzfaker]

SDNKJSD thank u! editing went extremely well and it's all done now! i think you will like it a lot :))))) or at least i hope u will! i queued it for december 24th at 11pm my time, which is EST (answering a question u asked later in the ask). you're 13 hours ahead of me rip lmao so that's noon on christmas for you. i figured that'll be a time where you're up but im also up bc im usually up decently late. glad u took naps! tis important or your health :') ehehe and thank u! i rly obviously enjoy horror fics. and actually, the evil pirates one is one of my favs. and you'll get to see it all on my masterlist when i am revealed 👀👀👀👀👀👀 there are a few fluffy fics but my Thing is definitely darker stuff PFFFF yeah i kinda messed him up </3 luckily it's a three part series in the plotline where i stole his vocal cords but he'll probably get them back. probably. oops. im a little evil to him but he's my absolute ult fav <3 i havent met ateez yet, so yeah, if i went to the concert that would be the first time! i'd let jongho know he's the Coolest for the entire concert, i'd be fully prepared to yell his name the entire time. he deserves it and yes, im in America :) EST and i've indeed made it home! ive been home since monday and it's saturday now so not even a week. i kinda miss it haha, i like having my independence and it sorta feels like high school again. but oh well, it's still nice to see the family and yes, i love swimming :) but i work at an indoor pool, i dont actually live near any beaches haha. beach guards have a lot more training and i dont know if i could ever get to their level haha. and as for knitting i am good at hats and scarves! i dont know how to make anything else so those are the two things i make. im almost done w my first scarf, very excited :) there was a period of time a few years ago where i'd Only make hats, so everyone in the family got a hat lmaooooo yes, i agree! i also generally just dont like longer hair like that. this might be a super controversial opinion but i dont like mullets 😳 there;s one (1) exception and it's hongjoong's (ateez) mullet right now, he looks like such a cool lead rock band singer! but basically all other cases im kinda like ://// eh. i think it's bc it's short in the front and then long in the back which i guess is what a mullet is, it's just not my favorite hair. tho ofc it's just hair, it grows back, it changes, whatever :) do u like them? i actually also enjoyed chan's cheeto hair lol. it's not my fav hair on him but i like shorter hair on idols so it was nice to see him like that. i think for fav looks tho, i love literally every style changbin has ever done. i definitely lean towards edgier looks lol me ulting the most Sensible and Proper Main Vocal so Changbin in district 9 was perfect for me - 🎅

ey sounds good! ...yeah i think i'll be up by noon already or maybe a bit after but AHH okay i'll be sure to read it ASAP so you can see me reblog it with a crapload of tags in real time. glad to know we're both part of the vampire club tho LOL - we can definitely talk to each other in real time.

wow. "probably". HAHAHAHA. you did say your expertise is horror - now i can see why (≧▽≦)

ohhh i hope you can go then! agh you have no idea how many times i could've met skz if only i joined stay earlier - both here and in japan. yes the regret is still eating me together with the absolute clownery that was my period of constantly saying "i'M nOt a StAy" go get your tickets!!

ah and EST is definitely something i'm used to working with. my manager actually lives within that timezone as well so i'm used to monitoring her work times (and wondering why she's still talking to me/still not asleep) d(ﾟｰﾟ@)

indoor pools are cool too! and i'm sure all the swimming is good exercise, plus you're getting paid (i assume LOL). HAHA that's another thing we have in common tho - i went through a hat-crocheting phase too. i feel like i don't know how to crocehet anymore tho...ah but good luck on the scarf!

oh yeah i'm with you - i'm not a fan of mullets either. no idea how it became a trend in kpop, but here we are. i have one exception to it too: felix, and it's mostly because of his face and the fact that his bangs are growing longer so his hair is kinda losing its mullet-ness. speaking of felix tho, it's his scalp i'm more concerned about...am i going crazy or was the only time he had his actual, natural dark hair was during predebut?

changbin does fit all his hairstyles so far tho. i can truly appreciate the bowl cut when he has it HAHAHA. i'm still a sucker for longer hair, but i can appreciate the short hairstyle more on some people.

...okay i feel like i rambled a lot in this response. you'll have to excuse me - i'm back to not blinking and there's too many holiday preparations to do (゜Д゜) hope everything's going smoother over there!!

[purplesurveys]

1211

A

Art: When was the last time you painted something? I don’t remember; maybe about a few weeks before the breakup. I haven’t really been into painting since, but now that I’m over it I should probably dabble in it again soon.

Adventure: When was the last time you really felt alive, and what were you doing? Last Sunday! Watched the Sowoozoo show with Angela and Hans. We set up a huge tent at the rooftop and had fairy lights all around and so much beer and soju and so. much. food. She and Hans ended up bringing most of the food we got home. It really felt like throwing a party with a million other people and it was SO so ridiculously fucking fun.

Allergies: What is one thing that you are allergic to? Slightly allergic to grass.

Answers: What is one question you would like an answer to? If I’ll ever have a family of my own.

Age: What has been your favorite age so far? Hmm, maybe 16. 23 has also been a blast so far; I hope it stays the same.

B

What month is your birthday? April.

Have you ever played house inside a big box? Possibly as a kid. It doesn’t stick out in my memory though.

Are you boisterous? I can, especially if I feel enthusiastic about the situation.

Have you ever dated a bad boy? Nope.

Name one thing you like that is blue: The ocean. Not being in it, but being near it at the beach. < Ooh same.

C

Cinnamon--yay or nay? Yay, I guess. As long as it’s not excessive.

Chocolate: do you love it? I like chocolate-flavored things. Chocolate bars themselves not so much.

Name one favorite type of candy. Gummy bears or worms.

Children: Name one favorite thing to do with kids while babysitting. I only ever ‘babysat’ my much younger cousins; and when I did that more than a decade ago I just enjoyed playing games and toys with them since I too had been a kid who just had to babysit them.

Carefree: Are you carefree? I know how to let go when I want to, but I think most of the time I prefer to be careful and cautious about most things.

D

When was the last time you danced like no one was watching? LOL last Sunday when I drank too much and danced to Boy With Luv, and apparently Angela got it on tape as well. I haven’t checked the video yet and probably never will.

Do you daydream? Quite a lot, yeah.

Dreams: What is one of your dreams? To learn how to cook is one, hahahaha.

What is one thing you are currently dreading? We have an event tomorrow and my team is going to have to host it, so I’ll have to go over my script tonight so that I don’t end up sputtering and stuttering.

Name something delicious. Brownies!

E

Would you ride an elephant if given the opportunity? I have before. I’d do it again but make sure it’s done in an ethical environment.

Do you live life on the edge? Nah. I mean I’m bad at saving and VERY GOOD at spending my money, but that’s probably the most reckless I’ll ever get. Playing safe might as well be my middle name.

Name something you like to eat: French fries.

Do you believe in everlasting life? No.

Name something that comes easy to you. Continued from sometime this week, idek when. Anything that has to do with my reflexes. I can respond pretty quickly.

F

Name a fragrance you like. I like fruity, summery scents, for one.

Are you a free spirit? Eh, not so much.

Are you fickle? I wouldn’t say so.

Are you hiding your feelings from someone? Nope.

Name one flavor you like. Cookies and cream.

G

Are you gentle? This is too vague for me to answer.

Are you generous? I feel like I can say that, yeah.

Name something green. Eyes can be green.

Name a famous giant. My mom was watching something recently about a wrestler named Andre the Giant. He really was. < That’s a good answer :D I’ll just borrow it lol.

Are you a girl? Yessss.

H

Are you generally a happy person? I think more so these days, yeah!

Do you honor the holiness of the day? Idk what this means but if it’s supposed to be related to religion, I don’t really practice.

Do you believe in Heaven? Not the way the Bible describes it but the idea of reuniting with my loved ones when I die is pretty comforting, if that’s what ‘heaven’ is supposed to be, if it exists.

Name one thing you are hoping for. I’d like to be able to go to concerts again soon.

Name one thing you hate. That weekends are only two days long.

I

Imagination: Write the name of one of your imaginary friends from when you were younger. Katrina. Issues: Name one magazine you subscribe to, if there is any. I never did that.

Internet: Name one website you visit often. These days, Facebook.

Itinerary: List one place you would like to visit. Malta.

Interest: Name one thing that interests you. Cooking.

J

Are you joyful? Again, I think I am generally happier these days so yeah.

When was the last time you were filled with joy? Last Thursday when I finally got the BTS Meal from McDonald’s, lollllll.

Can you jump high? As a kid, yeah. We had a childhood garter game that kind of made it a requirement for you to be good at jumping, so that served as practice for me. Idk if I’m still as good, though.

Name one girl's name that starts with a J that you like. Julia.

Name one boy's name that starts with a J that you like. Jacob.

K

Have you ever been kissed? Sure.

Have you ever feared that you would be killed? Yup.

Are you kind? I wanna think so, but idk. This is a question you’ll have to ask other people about, not for me to answer for myself.

Who is your kindred spirit? Angela.

Name one thing you liked as a kid. Chewing gum.

L

Do you love someone? My close friends.

Do you live out loud? I try to make the most out of everything life hands me and enjoy life as long as I can, if that’s what you’re asking.

Do you read food labels? Only when I’m bored and have nothing to do at the dining table. I never read it to actually know the nutritional value of what I’m eating.

Name something local that you like. Balut.

List one thing you like to do at the lake. I don’t think I’ve even been at a lake before...I’ve seen ones, but haven’t been up close.

M

Do you like...

monkeys: Sure.

music: More so these days.

musicals: I never liked them.

mansions: I mean...I guess? I love house tours so if I can get to go around a big ass mansion I feel like I’d have a good time.

miracles: Not so sure I believe in those.

N

Do you want something....

new: I’m well aware that I can be quite materialistic, so yeah I’m always wanting something new.

nice: Too vague.

neat: Vague again.

never-before-seen: As long as it doesn’t hurt anyone, sure.

nature-inspired: Idk.

O

How old are you? 23.

What is the last great opportunity you missed? Erm...my 20s? Because of Covid? if it counts lol.

Name one thing you like that's orange (besides oranges). I don’t like oranges, but I do like Hayley Williams’ Riot! era orange hair.

Are you open? In surveys I definitely am. < Agreed.

Name something odd. Can’t really think of any at the moment.

P

Are you...

patient: Too much for my own good.

perky: With the right people, yeah.

pale: Far from it. I live in a place with sunny weather all year round.

peaceful: For the most part but I can provoke people if the need be.

passionate: Not always, but sure it shows up occasionally.

Q

Do you own a...

quilt

quail

queen-size bed

quill pen

book of questions ^ I don’t have any of those things.

R

Do you like to...

run

rave

riddle

rhyme

rap: If I memorize a verse/song, then yes.

S

Are you ever...

shy

sensitive

secretive

sure

stable

T

Are you...

ticklish

trouble

tall

thankful

tactful

U

Have you ever...

ridden a unicyle

used an umbrella

visited an uncle

been undecided

played a ukelele

V

Do you own a...

violin

vehicle

violet dress

vampire cape

veil for a wedding dress

W

What is something you wish for? Longer weekends.

Wonder: When was the last time you opened your eyes in wonder? I guess this morning? When I realized it was finally the weekend and I could stay in bed and relax and sleep in if I wanted.

Name five words you like. Let’s just go with poignant, which is what I always answer. I don’t feel like thinking of four other words.

What is something you wonder? What my own place would look like.

Name someone who thinks you are worthless. I hope there isn’t anyone; but my mom did make me feel like this for a long time. Either she’s stopped it or I’ve grown completely immune to it – I can’t really tell the difference.

X

Have you ever...

played a xylophone

had an x-ray

enjoyed exercise

had excision surgery

been excluded

Y

Are you young? I think 23 is still quite young, yeah.

Are you youthful? Idk lol my stress level these days makes me feel like I’m 35.

Did you have a big yard growing up? No.

What did you do yesterday? Had what was probably my busiest day at work yet.

Do you like yams? I mean I like ube cheesecake, but that’s as far as I’ll go when it comes to yam.

Z

Zeal: What are you passionate about? My work, to an extent.

Zing: Do you like raspberry lemonade? I’ve never tried it. I think.

What's your favorite zoo animal? I don’t go to zoos.

Do you own anything from Zales? No and idk what that is.

List a name that starts with a Z. Zia.

[franeridart]

I just found your profile and I love your style so much!

AHHHHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!

Anon said:From kami's-hair-is-hard-to-doodle anon from a while back: I finally got it! Thank you so much for your advice - reading and rereading your tips kept me practicing! I'd also like to thank the Academy /orz

I’m glad it could help you at all!!!! :O Kami keeps on being a mystery to me (and Horikoshi himself ???) too so don’t get too down on yourself for it taking time haha

Anon said:Ive sent you a couple of asks before but Im just so in love with the content you produce. Like not only is your art style so cute and stuff, but the plot/story (Idk) of each post is just so original and adorable. Im just so blown away by everything you post. Thank you for sharing your art!!!! Have a good week!!

Anon said:Hi! I’m new to your blog but love your art, I think your very talented which is why I’d like to ask a question. Do you have any advice for posing? I noticed your very good at it and wondered if you have any tips. If you do answer this, Thank you!!

Firstly, thank you so much for the compliments!!! I don’t know how useful exactly any advice I could give you will be, since most of it comes from drawing a lot and watching drawings even more, but in general to pick a pose usually what I do is think of the scene as if in movement? As in, what the characters are doing, and how they’d move if I were looking at them while doing it - keeping in mind the characters personalities helps me with this a lot too. 

Take for example the confessions drawings I’ve posted a couple of days ago: it’s true that there’s no words nor movement anywhere in them, but as I drew them I had a pretty clear idea of what they were saying and how the characters would react in those situations - Jirou’s shy and easily flustered, so she’s averting her eyes, unable to keep eye contact, and closing in on herself a bit, hiding her face and so on; in the concept, Kaminari was the one who confessed, so he’s holding her hand, tentative, because he’s unsure about how she’s gonna answer (it’s all stuff that didn’t actually make it in the drawing, how he reached for her hand, how he’s gonna close his other hand around her knuckles, but in my head it was a complete scene and I just picked one frame of it all to draw). The same goes for Bakugou and Kirishima - they’re rowdier, louder, more assertive and inclined to take everything as a fight, so this time around I went for a scene in which Bakugou straight out yells his feelings at Kirishima and Kirishima answers me too (again, I had the before and after in my head too, I just picked the frame that best coveyed what I was trying to do)

As I said I’m usure about how much this might help you orz it’s just my way of doing things, and it mostly comes from the fact that I was originally a writer honestly, so thinking of a whole scene makes things easier for me #rip

Anon said:Can I say, I really like the colors for your confession pictures! :>

THANK YOU??????? H E C K ;O; 

Anon said:hi~ i just went through literally everything in your sketches tag and i just wanna say i love your art and your comics and stuff. also because i went through everything, i want to bring attention to how cool it is to see how much your style has changed! your lines seem more confident and your characters more dynamic in the last few years :D

HECK THANK YOU SO MUCH it’s always so damn nice to know people can see my stuff getting even just slightly better oh mannnnnnnnnnnnnn *sob*

Anon said:can we repost your art if we give like 100% credit

Nope, sorry, I’d prefer it if you didn’t do that

Anon said:those "confessions" must be the lewdest thing I've ever seen

why would you use that word tho

Anon said:I just wanted to tell you that I love your art and it always makes me a little happier when you post something! No matter if it's your comics or colored pics or "simple" doodles, I love all of them! (Though soft stuff is the best, hehe) I just hope you know that you're very appreciated, and I hope you only have wonderful days!

GODS THANK YOU SO MUCH I’m so so so happy I can make you a lil happier ;0; I hope you’ll have every possible wonderful day too, anon!!

Anon said:I just spent the last few hours of my Sunday going though your entire blog. It’s beautiful and I hope you know that you have ruined my life because of that beauty. God damn it.

That wasn’t the intention but I’m!!!!!!!!! glad you think so???????? sob oh my g od you all are too nice to me ;^;

Anon said:Tododeku?

It sure is a ship, isn’t it - I’ve drawn for it in the past, I most probably will again in the future! :D

Anon said:you're honestly one of my fav artists on here! i love your style it feels so unique and is so pleasing to look at (((:

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’M CRYING THANK YOU

Anon said:Your art has this unique quality about it... its really hard to describe but there’s something so dynamic and god damn pretty about your work. It’s fantastic and you inspire me to keep on creating! I hope your day is absolutely wonderful and thank you for blessing us with your art!

I’m!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so glad I can make you want to create stuff, anon!!!!!! that’s the best thing anyone can ever tell me, oh my god ;^; thank you so much !!!

Anon said:I love it when you draw cuddly bakugou!! Its wonderful!!

THAT’S!!!! super great to hear cause I could probably draw only that for the foreseeable future and not mind it one bit holy smoke

Anon said:THE HUG COMICS ARE THE BEST COMICS, I LOVE HUGS AND BAKUGOU BEING PHYSICALLY AFFECTIONATE IS SOMETHING I LOVE, A++++, WOULD RECOMMEND.

HONESTLY BAKUGOU NEEDS ALL THE HUGS AND IF I MUST BE THE ONE TO GIVE THEM ALL TO HIM THEN SO BE IT

Anon said:all ur comics are fucking delightful and make my day everytime. i ve read them all like too many times? i read each multiple times in a row and im still giddy? i love them i love u

I!!!!!!! LOVE YOU TOO???? HOLY SHIT THANK YOU

Anon said:*sigh* soft-phisical contact lover bakugou save my week. And kiri is the most wonderfull sunshine and no one cant discuss that *sit down in the floor and manly crying*

Kiri is the brightest sunshine isn’t he ;^; the sun to Bakugou’s moon, it makes me weak and I cry a lot

Anon said:I never knew I could be so weak for kiribaku omg fran what have you done to me, on that note what little things do you think theyd do to take care of each other? Like kinda lowkey stuff theyd quietly do? Ahh anyway thank you so much for all the wonderful drawings, hope everything is going well for you :)

Well, this is just the feeling I got, but I’d say they do plenty for each other quietly and softly in canon too, don’t they? Bakugou especially, pointing out to Kirishima his strength when he can’t see it for himself and always trying to find a way to cheer him up when he’s down and giving him space when he needs it, training together, studying together, worrying over one another, Kiri making sure to always know what’s up with Bakugou and following him to help him, just generally being there for each other so that if and when they need they’ll know they’ll have someone they can lean on - their relationship is really mutually supportive, isn’t it? I cry so much they make me so happy ;^; *sob*

Anon said:When season 3 comes out wouldnt it be fun if krbk fans filmed their ch.90 being animated reactions?? I think it'd be so cool/cute to see all the emotions! What do you think?

You know, I’m pretty sure that IS gonna happen? People make reaction videos for so many things! It’s nice and fun, honestly, I love it~

Anon said:I really love the way you draw spiky hair! It looks so floofy and soft.

Boi thank you!!!! Spikes are super nice to draw, though admittedly I make them less spiky then they’re probably supposed to be haha

Anon said:As someone who adores Sero Hanta And is a die hard krbk fan can I just say how much I love you? Like I was having a rough-ish day and I can’t stop smiling now because of your latest comic. Seriously, I love you and your art is everything.

I’M SO GLAD YOU LIKED THAT ONE!!!!!!!! I adore Sero if I had any better clue how to draw him I’d draw him all the time always, true story, he’s such a fave ;^;

Anon said:OMG Fran!!! I want Bakugou's name tattooed on all their faces now!! Hahahaha!

You know, one of my first krbk fanarts was Bakugou writing his name on Kirishima’s forehead, actually....................

[jimins-crooked-tooth]

Ask Game

nobody asked me any of these questions because u all h8 me but I wanted to answer them anyway so here we are (^:

1: Name: Mia (: 2: Age: 19 3: 3 Fears: spiders, people crawling and being chased in horror movies, my dog dying someday 4: 3 things I love: my dog, park jimin, Speezy Freezes 5: 4 turns on: boys listening, empathizing, learning from their ignorance, and advocating for important causes. K I N K. get u a freak like that ^^^ 6: 4 turns off: being talked over, mansplaining, greasy hair, bad smell 7: My best irl friend(s): @jaemamba, @namjoons-broken-toe, @mark-biased 8: Sexual orientation: bisexual 9: My best first date: going to my university’s football field at 1:00 in the morning with my dog, running around with him, and then driving to Speedway to get Speedy Freezes 10: How tall am I: 5′4 11: What do I miss: my best friend 12: What time was I born: i was born at 5:18 on 6/18 13: Favorite color: red 14: Do I have a crush: i fell in love with my eye doctor yesterday. does that count? 15: Favorite quote: “We are what we repeatedly do; excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” 16: Favorite place: this is hard. mt favorite destination type place is antigua, guatemala, but my favorite place to be is anywhere with my dog (: 17: Favorite food: scalloped potatoes 18: Do I use sarcasm: me??? noooo, never. 19: What am I listening to right now: dope - BTS 20: First thing I notice in new person: teeth and hair 21: Shoe size: 7 1/2 US size 22: Eye color: green 23: Hair color: brown 24: Favorite style of clothing: sweaters 25: Ever done a prank call?: when i was in, like, middle school. OH! also american airlines when they were being unhelpful little douche-dicks this summer when they lost my luggage in france ((((: 27: Meaning behind my URL: um i’m in love with jimin’s crooked tooth 28: Favorite movie: monster’s inc. 29: Favorite song: leave me lonely - ariana grande 30: Favorite band: BTS 31: How I feel right now: tired and hungry 32: Someone I love: park jimin 33: My current relationship status: i’m in an exclusive relationship with food 34: My relationship with my parents: eh 35: Favorite holiday: christmas and thanksgiving 36: Tattoos and piercing i have: i have a tattoo of mine and my brother’s hands in a pinky swear on my right side, a tattoo that says “i belong deeply to myself” on my left side, a big tattoo of athena on my left thigh, and my dog’s paw print on my right foot.  i have my ears double pierced and my nose pierced. 37: Tattoos and piercing i want: i’d love to have nipple piercings but my boobs are reeeeally big and that increases my risk of infection and irritation, so i probably wont get it done. and the next tattoo i want is a bow behind my ear 38: The reason I joined Tumblr: fandoms 39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?: i don’t think so, we just don’t talk 40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?: lololololololol no 41: Have I ever kissed the last person I texted? i would hope not 42: When did I last hold hands?: like a week ago with my best friend 43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?: it depends on if i put on makeup or not.  no makeup = 15-20 minutes, makeup = 30-40 minutes 44: Have you shaved your legs in the past three days?: i think so. i’m losing track of time so it’s hard for me to remember hahahaha. 45: Where am I right now?: at my apartment. 46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?: i don’t drink so quite honestly, i don’t know who it would be helping me 47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?: loud 48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?: no 49: Am I excited for anything?: i’m excited for to make a new character for d&d 50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?: yes(: my best friend Martin, but he lives thousands of miles away in normandy, france 51: How often do I wear a fake smile?: more often than you’d think. i’m very good at it. 52: When was the last time I hugged someone?: two days ago i hugged some family members after visiting 53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?: i would not care in the slightest lol 54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?: i don’t think so.  i usually keep trustworthy people close to me and untrustworthy people away from me. 55: What is something I disliked about today?: i accidentally slept in waaaaaaaay too late. 56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?: park jimin 57: What do I think about most?: my dog 58: What’s my strangest talent?: i have a few. i memorize license plates, i can name every color in a 64 pack of crayola crayons, and i can look good in any pair of sunglasses 59: Do I have any strange phobias?: yes. people crawling and being chased in horror movies. also, people touching and grabbing my wrists/being restrained 60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?: in front of it. 61: What was the last lie I told?: “my dog locked the door, not me.” 62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?: i’m just gonna say facetimeing because it’s kind of a mix of the two 63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?: yes and yes 64: Do I believe in magic?: no 65: Do I believe in luck?: yes 66: What's the weather like right now?: snowy snowy snowy 67: What was the last book I've read?: everything, everything 68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?: yes 69: Do I have any nicknames?: mi and higgie smalls 70: What was the worst injury I've ever had?: when i broke my arm in 7th grade.  i was playing soccer and i was the goal keeper and somebody from the opposite team kicked the ball and snapped my arm in half. 71: Do I spend money or save it?: a mix of both 72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue?: nope 73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me?: yes, a pencil 74: Favorite animal?: giraffe and puffins 75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?: watching mulan 76: What do I think is Satan’s last name?: i asked my roommate and he said “faust” so i’m gonna go with that lol 77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?: serendipity and lie 78: How can you win my heart?: food and dogs 79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?: sneezed on the beat, and the beat got sicka 80: What is my favorite word?: serendipity 81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr: @got7-markjinson, @yeoldalayhehoo 82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?: “fuck donald trump” 83: Do I have any relatives in jail?: not that i know of 84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? teleportation so i could go anywhere in the world for free! 85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? “are you happy?”  86: What is my current desktop picture? sehun lookin’ all perfect, as always (’: 87: Had sex? no 88: Bought condoms? no 89: Gotten pregnant? no 90: Failed a class? no  91: Kissed a boy? yes 92: Kissed a girl? no)))): 93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? no omg too cheesy 94: Had a job? i’ve had 4 95: Left the house without my wallet? yes 96: Bullied someone on the internet? i more-so fight with people on the internet, not bully. 97: Had sex in public? never had sex, so obviously not hahaha 98: Played on a sports team? yes! growing up, i played soccer for 7 years 99: Smoked weed? nope 100: Did drugs? nope 101: Smoked cigarettes? nope 102: Drank alcohol? i hate alcohol 103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? no 104: Been overweight? yep 105: Been underweight? nope 106: Been to a wedding? yes 107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA 5 hours? i think you mean 5 TIMES 5 hours lmaoooo 108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? YES. WHO HASN’T???? 109: Been outside my home country? yes! 3 times(: i’ve been to guatemala, mexico, and frace 110: Gotten my heart broken? eh, not really 111: Been to a professional sports game? yes 112: Broken a bone? yes! 2 113: Cut myself? no 114: Been to prom? yes, twice 115: Been in airplane? yes, soooo many times 116: Fly by helicopter? no, but i would love to do it sometime! 117: What concerts have I been to? omg there are so many. in order: taylor swift, kelly clarkson, one direction, demi lovato, bastille, lana del rey, marina and the diamonds, one direction (again), ed sheeran, the 1975, ariana grande, and then i’m going to see harry styles and niall horan this summer! 118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? yes because i’m fckin GAY 119: Learned another language? i’m studying spanish and korean 120: Wore make up? all the time lol 121: Lost my virginity before I was 18? NO BECAUSE I HAVE NEVER HAD SEX. WHY ARE THERE SO MANY QUESTIONS ABOUT SEX 122: Had oral sex? NO 123: Dyed my hair? nope 124: Voted in a presidential election? yes, just 1 125: Rode in an ambulance? no 126: Had a surgery? yes 127: Met someone famous? yes, i met lea delaria fro oitnb 128: Stalked someone on a social network? UM ALWAYS??? 129: Peed outside? yep 130: Been fishing? yep but it’s soooo borning 131: Helped with charity? yes 132: Been rejected by a crush? all the fucking time (^: 133: Broken a mirror? i dont think so 134: What do I want for birthday? for park jimin to acknowledge my existence ((((((((((((((((((((((((:

why am i such a noob????

[driftingglass]

Weird 92 Question Thing. Not Important. Just Random.

Been tagged by a lot of random people and I’m taking a brief break from writing and totally being smart about not going to sleep yet with my 5:00 AM schedule starting tomorrow...

Anyway.

THE LAST:

1. Drink: Green tea.

2. Phone call: My therapist.

3. Text: A person who honestly shouldn’t be texting me.

4. Song you listened to: Too many songs to list here. I’ve created a playlist for NaNoWriMo that’s almost one hundred songs in length, so... that monster track. Instrumental, EDM, J-pop (usually theme songs from anime shows), classical, random remixes, film/game/television show tracks...

5. Time you cried: Today. Whoops.

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: Yes.

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Um. Somewhat.

8. Been cheated on: Yep.

9. Lost someone special: Everyone has.

10. Been depressed: Hasn’t everyone at some point...? Some worse than others, of course, but this is a pretty standard question.

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Never.

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12-14: Navy blue, indigo, teal, burgundy, silver, coral. (Changes frequently).

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: I’ve made friendships this past year that have changed my life. Very humbled and kind of flabbergasted about it. Blows my mind.

16. Fallen out of love: Yes. 

17. Laughed until you cried: Not that I can remember, no.

18. Found out someone was talking about you: Sure.

19. Met somebody who changed you: Yes.

20. Found out who your friends are: Um?

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Haha, well, they’re not that list anymore, exactly.

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: I dunno, some of them?

23. Do you have any pets: My siblings have a dog and two cats. I have none. But I like those pets when I see them, most of the time.

24. Do you want to change your name: Nah.

25: What did you do for your last birthday: Maybe something mildly interesting? Can’t remember.

26. What time did you wake up: 5:00 AM.

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Talking to a friend on the phone, polishing up writing, then trying to sleep unsuccessfully.

28. Name something you cant wait for: I’m going to my first concert ever on the 25th and I could not be more excited and amazed. I honestly can’t even wrap my head around it still...

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: Huh...

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: Not sure if I’m in the mood to answer this rather loaded question. You take what you have, you learn from what happens, and you progress further into life with a mindset that’s open to changing, growing and developing from these occurrences. That’s how I’ll answer this, I guess.

31: What are you listening to right now: My NaNoWriMo playlist. But this song, specifically.

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Nah.

33. Some thing that is getting on your nerves: Selfish assholes hurting the few people who I hold close and dear. Fuck ‘em.

34: Most visited website: YouTube, HubSpot, Tumblr, AO3...

35. mole/s: *Blinks*

36: mark/s: I have a small birthmark on the bridge of my nose, scars and callouses, bare/raw spots of skin on my knuckles and thumbs, and freckles.

37: Childhood dream: Novelist, movie critic, traveling journalist, paleontologist, marine biologist, architect, graphic designer, painter, artist, screenwriter, editor, film director, cinematographer...

38: Hair color: Auburn. Reddish-brown. Whatever.

39: long or short hair: Long.

40: Do u have a crush on anyone: Nope. It happens once in a blue moon. Like, the bluest fucking moon.

41: What do you like about yourself?: Hahahaha--

42. Piercings: Nope. Not even ear piercings.

43. Blood type: I don’t remember, but this is probably something I should know...

44. Nickname: Squeakums, Dani, Buttons, Tay, Scottish Goblin (by me, :P) and Freckles.

45. Relationship status: Single! 

46. Zodiac: Uh... Gemini Sun, Leo Moon?

47. Pronouns: She | Her.

48: Favorite tv shows: Breaking Bad, Game of Thrones, Hunter x Hunter, Westworld, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood...

50. Right or left hand: I have both, thanks.

51. Surgery: Hm. Ask me another time.

52. Hair dyed in a different color: Nah. You went from asking about surgery to hair color? 

53: Sport: Tennis, crossfit, distance running, and yoga.

55. Vacation: Last amazing “vacation” was when I left the country to go to Europe. Was a worthwhile experience I’ll never forget. I want to go back.

56: Pair of trainers: Nike, yo. Wear them pretty much every day.

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: Nothing. Sometimes I forget. Ugh.

58. Drinking: Water.

59. I’m about to: Finish editing and hopefully sleep.

61: Waiting for: ...

62: Want: So. Many. Things. Wish I could actually summarize everything coherently onto one post, but... that would take way too long. 

63. Get married: Nah. I’m content.

64. Career: Too many dream careers to count, but I’m very lucky at the moment. Copywriting and content writing is the main thing at the moment.

WHICH IS BETTER:

65. Hugs or kisses: Neither? If you hug me, man, we must be inseparable friends who’ve known each other for at least two years. And if you’re kissing me, I would hope that we’re dating. If not, get the hell away, ya weirdo. I have no preference for either. I tolerate hugs from my best friends only, pretty much.

66. Lips or eyes: Eyes. Definitely. Probably the most intimate and naturally beautiful aspect of any human, in my opinion. 

67. Shorter or taller: Taller. 

68. Older or younger: Same age or a couple years older.

70. nice arms or nice stomach: I’m shallow, I guess, and too picky for my own good... athleticism is nice. But, no one should care unless it’s a health hazard. 

71: sensitive or loud: Both and neither?

72. Hook up or relationship: Relationship or nothing at all. Honestly doesn’t cross my mind unless I form some kind of attachment and general platonic understanding/relationship with the person first. Hookups have never been of interest, and never will be.

73. troublemaker or hesitant: Oh I’m such a rebel. *Turns up the volume on TV to just over twelve notches.* See? I’m being a rowdy neighbor. (... I’m turbulent as fuck, okay?)

HAVE YOU EVER:

74: Kissed a stranger: Nope. Strangers have tried to kiss me, though. Was not pleasant.

75. Lost glasses / contact lens: Nope.

76. Turned someone down: Not that I know of.

78. Sex on the first date: No.

79. Had your heart broken: Absolutely.

80. Broken someone’s heart: Yes.

81. Been arrested: Nope.

82. Cried when someone died: One time.

83. fallen for a friend: I’ve only fallen for my friends. Both relationships I’ve had started as friendships. This makes it better and so much worse at the same time.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. yourself: If I said yes, I’d be lying. It’s a process.

85. Miracles: No.

86. Love at first sight: Nope. 

87. Santa Claus: No.

OTHER:

90. current best friend name: Not gonna disclose that here.

91. Eye color: Brown.

92. favorite movie: My current favorite movies (off the top of my head) are Your Name, Whiplash and Baby Driver. This is always an almost-impossible question.

[eloarei]

As copy-pasted from that one BNHA ask meme: ALL my answers, since @oldseablues suggested I do that.  Under a cut because it’s long.

BNHA Ask Meme™ Reblog this if you want your followers to send you one of these:

~ B A S I C S ~

1: What part of the anime/manga piqued your interest? Like, what did I see that made me want to watch it? TBH I don't know! I guess it was All Might lol. I just saw that a bunch of people on my dashboard were talking about it and about him and I was like "Okay, I'll watch it." (A few people IRL had reccommended it to me before but I was like 'eh'.)

2: Did you think Midoriya would be a good protagonist in the first few chapters/episodes? Answered before. I think the gist of it was that I thought he was gonna be fine, I just didn't know if the story was gonna be any good.

3: How do you think Midoriya’s conflict with Bakugou will end? Honestly I think it'll turn out fine. I mean, I think that they'll repair their friendship (if you can even call it that). I think Izuku has to stop focusing on Bakugou and Bakugo has to start respecting Izuku. I think it'll happen just fine as they grow into themselves. I would be surprised if they didn't repair their relationship, just based on common shounen tropes.

4: What was your first reaction to Bakugou’s treatment towards Midoriya? First reaction? Hmm, let me see if I can remember. I guess I didn't think about it much because I wasn't sure he was going to be an important character. But when I realized he was... I guess I was just surprised that Izuku put up with it all that time. Of course it could be because of his lack of confidence, but I guess I see it more as him having faith in Kacchan actually being worth maintaining a friendship with, despite the bullying? He's too sweet for his own good ^^;;

5: What do you think of All-Might as a hero? Pfft, well he's great, obviously! Isn't that like... the one thing you're supposed to know when you start the series? "The sky is blue. All Might is great." He's a good guy. He does what he can and he does it well.

6: Do you think that Midoriya deserved to get OFA? Of course. He's clever and determined and passionate and kind. Who else would have been that appropriate?

7: Aside from Midoriya, which character in the series do you think has had the most character development? I'm gonna SKIP this one, since I'm still only a lowly Season 2 graduate. I haven't seen enough change in any of the characters to say.

8: Favorite unpopular character? Honestly? Mineta. I know everyone hates him, but I like him for the same reasons. Yes, he's dumb and sleazy, but I think he acts as a sort of balance, and it's good to have a character that occupies peoples' soft-hatred but isn't a villain. Not every 'good guy' is unproblematic, and I think he has the greatest capacity for growth because he's starting so low on the likeability chart. XD

9: Favorite overall character? I mean, that's an easy tie between Izuku and All Might. Obviously. If I had to pick someone else though... Tsuyu. She's precious. Or Ochaco. She's also precious. Or Iida, who is (surprise) also damn precious.

10: Do you have any OC’s? Describe them! If you don’t, create one on the spot. Create one? Yeesh. Uh. Okay, I'll port some original OCs over. Addisson: chivalrous lesbian hero, dresses like a knight. She conjures 'light-weapony' (or other items; made of light/air/whatever, they function as intended until she lets go of them. Only for melee weapons though, not projectiles unfortunately.)

~ S H I P S ~

Pink: What are your main/favorite ships? As surprises nobody: Dekumight, for sure. But side ships? Erasermic, and anything involving Ochaco. (Roughly in order: Ocha/Iida, Ocha/Bakugo, Ocha/anyone else. Oh! Never seen it before, but how about Ochaco/Gunhead?!)

Blue: Do you have any NOTPs? By principal, no. I don't do NOTPs. But if you're asking which ships I just don't really like or don't really get, the winner would have to be TodoDeku. It's very popular? but it just doesn't pique my interest at all.

Yellow: Favorite fanfiction about your OTP? Ooh man, it's only on chapter 2 ATM but @thenightisdarkandfullofbooty’s "Fettered" is really really great so far! Other than that, I don't generally recc explicit fics, but Motte-Gwappo and Jabor pretty well cornered the market with good E-rated oneshots.

Green: Any preferred rarepairs? Ahah yeah, I main a rarepair. And from what I understand, pretty much everything that doesn't include Todoroki or Bakugou is a rarepair, so... uh huh.

Purple: Do you have any works centered around your OTP? HELL YEAH. Anyone who's reading this probably knows. I've got 11 posted Dekumight fics so far, and *counts* 4? WIPs? and... uh... roughly 30+ more ideas? *sweats*

Orange: Fluff or Angst? Good lord I love both, but if you're gonna angst me, PLEASE give me a happy ending.

Red: What do you like the most about your favorite ship? Aaaaaaahhh gosh. Everything. *sighs dreamily* Did you see me the other day, comparing them to freaking Christian worship music? Gawd. They have SUCH a great dynamic, and it's one that has a lot of potential for shifting in various ways too. I guess what I really love most about them is how genuinely devoted to each other they are. Shipped or not, they really love each other! It's so wonderful. =]

Turqoise: What do you hate about your favorite ship? Alright now this is silly question. Why have an OTP if you don't just adore every fiber of their being? In the case of Dekumight, despite what I think a lot of other people would think, I don't even hate the things that make it a controversial pairing. I don't hate that Izuku is underage, and that there's a fairly massive age gap between them, and that there's a 'power imbalance' between them, because that all adds to their dynamic. It makes them very interesting. I don't wish that Izuku was older. I mean, I've written that fic, and I think they're still interesting together, but honestly, the fact that they at least met when Izuku was young is pretty important to their dynamic and-- *goes on forever and ever* ADDENDUM: One thing I do hate is that the majority of the fandom can't (or isn't interested in even trying to) see how goshdarn much sense the ship makes.

Lavender: Does your ship get a lot of hate? If so, why? Hahahaha yes. I don't pay a lot of attention to the fandom at large, but I'm fairly certain it's the most hated ship in the fandom? And it's the only ship I've ever gotten hate over! (Wonderful. Wish I'd get more. It'd be a good outlet for my blabbering haha) I understand /why/ it gets hate though. It's underage. It's frequently read as a father-son relationship. Oh, and it interferes with other popular ships, of course.

Grey: Realistically speaking, will your ship ever become canon? I guess there's a remote chance. Like, top of Mt. Everest remote. haha wouldn't that just fuck with people. Naw, look, I'm fully accepting of the fact that there are at least 5 other drastically-more-likely options, which are, in approximate order of likeliness: 1. Izuku/Ochaco, 2. Izuku/nobody, 3.Izuku/another girl, 4.Izuku/Bakugou, 5.Izuku/another guy. I give Dekumight a .01% chance haha and I think that's a liberal estimate. XD; BUT! I would be more than happy for there to be at least a throwaway line somewhere about Izuku having (or having had) a crush on All Might at some point, and I give that a very generous 5% chance of happening haha.

~ T H E O R I E S ~

Pop: Do you think the “Dabi and Shouto are brothers” theory is true? Don't know who the hell Dabi is.

Indie: Opinions on the Traitor Kaminari theory? Never heard it. Sounds implausible.

Punk: Opinions on the Traitor Kirishima theory? Never heard it. Don't like it.

Rock: What do you think of the “The doctor from Midoriya’s childhood is affiliated with the League Of Villains” theory? (in reference to this post) I mean... sure?? I didn't read the post, but I have no strong opinions on theories.

Jazz: What do you think will happen now that Eri has been saved? Honestly, I only know Eri through fanfic, so I'm gonna say, "No clue, my dude."

~ S T U D E N T S ~

11: Dekusquad or Bakusquad? Porque no los dos? But Dekusquad.

12: Most underrated student? Hagakure. That's the invisible girl, right? That's quite a power!

13: Dadmight or Dadzawa? Porque no los dos? But my ship dictates I vote Dadzawa. Honestly though, they could both BE dads; there's no one way to be a dad. All Might makes me think a little more of an uncle. Aizawa strikes me as more dad-like from my own experience, but they're both supportive in their different ways. I know, let's be contrarian and say "DadMic" =P HE'S the one that reminds me of several of my allo-dads.

14: Whose quirk do you think is the most unique? I think I said Tokoyami when I answered this before. I can't think of a better answer right now, so let's just go with that again.

15: Aside from Midoriya, who do you think has the most potential to be #1 Hero? I guess Todoroki.

16: Should Mineta be replaced by Shinsou in the hero class? Porque no los dos? If you get rid of Mineta, there's gotta be someone else for everyone to hate. Just shove another desk in there and have them both. Make them share, I dunno.

17: Favorite student(s) outside of Class 1-A? Hatsume Mei!

18: Any HCs for the entirety of Class 1-A? Headcanons for the whole class? Is that a thing? I guess I HC that they all genuinely love Izuku and are encouraged by his attitude. =]

19: Do you remember their seating arrangement by heart? lol heck no. I think I have an idea of where a few of the characters sit? But honestly, I blasted through the series once and haven't looked back on it yet, so I haven't had time for memorization.

20: Which of the students do you think has the most potential to become a villain? Gosh. Any of them could. I mean, being a villain instead of a hero is so based on circumstance. If things go wrong, any of them could go that way.

~  V I L L A I N S ~

Techno: Favorite villain? Stain. Not interested in any of the others just yet.

Classical: Eight Precepts of Death or League of Villains? what.

Metal: Which villain’s quirk would you want for yourself? I don't?

Soul: Shigaraki or Chisaki? Who?

Alternative: Most obnoxious villain? Shigaraki.

~  M I S C ~

Apple: Favorite popular HC? I haven't the slightest clue what's popular, but I'll reiterate my own personal headcanon: Izuku has or has had a huge pre-teen crush on All Might.

Strawberry: Who is your favorite pro-hero? Uh... Hmm.... Predictable answer: All Might. Less predictable answer: Best Jeanist, because his fucking outfit drives me nuts and I hate it so much I like it.

Banana: Which of the pro-heroes’ quirks fascinates you the most? Eh. I dunno. I guess I'm not really 'fascinated' by anyone's abilities. ^^; I just like them as whole characters.

Cherry: Should Endeavor die like right now Nah. He's important, even if we hate him. In fact, that might be part of why he's important. You can't love every 'protagonist'.

Pear: What was your reaction to Todoroki’s backstory? I... didn't have a strong reaction. I'm not a huge fan of Todoroki to begin with. I mean, I felt bad for him, of course, but I guess I wasn't surprised or anything, so it was like, "oh. huh. poor kid." I'm more interested in what happens next.

Kiwi: Should the BNHA girls get more spotlight/recognition? Of course! They're all great.

Pineapple: What do you like the most about BNHA, as a whole? Well, I guess what I like is the characters! That pretty usual, for any story I get involved in. But of course I love superheroes, so there's that! But I do also like the feeling of the whole story, how it's inspirational but also with a looming bleakness, you know?

Watermelon: Dub or Sub? Sub sub sub all the way. Gotta watch it in its original form, whatever that is. I LOVE their original Japanese voices. I accidentally heard a tiny snippet of it in English and I regret it haha.

Coconut: How do you think Hokiroshi is doing, in terms of the plot? Well I'm not caught up so it's a bit hard for me to say, but I think it's going well so far. I'm still interested.

Blueberry: What makes BNHA unique from all the other shonen animes/mangas out there? I'm not sure. I think it's in the small details. I mean, I'm not sure it really IS unique from other anime, any more than they're all unique from each other. TBH I feel like it actually take quite a few elements from other popular series and puts them together in an effective way.

...and that's the end!