#so if people ever like. wanna “joke” troll in my anons

[smiggles]

[yumiis]

headcannons for getting drunk with tgc?

like how high their tolerance to alcohol is,

what they usually have,

and stuff similar?

ignore my 'ideas' if you dont wanna do them <3

🫧 anon

absolutely!! i love making hcs like this (i also won't be including larry bc he isn't of legal age to drink :P)

｡ﾟﾟ･｡･ﾟﾟ｡ ﾟ。 drunk ; tgc boys

　 ﾟ･｡･ﾟ

genre/type: fluff/humor, headcanons

read below!

ISAAC;

absolute unbeatable tolerance. insane tolerance. dude can take 6 shots of everclear and still walk a straight line.

you've only seen isaac blackout ONCE, and it was complete accident. you hadn't seen isaac drinking that much, but he was actually borderline drunk. he asked you in a pretty sober sounding voice, "how many drinks have i had? should i stop?" you say, "i've only seen you take like 2 shots. drink some more!"

horrible move. he blacked out and also woke up with the world's worst hangover.

ever since then though, his tolerance, like i said, is rock solid.

he likes the classic drinks, so i'd say he likes a good screwdriver.

super clingy and COCKY when he's drunk.

drowning you in kisses and hugs, and he goes, "babe, i'm soooo hot. i'm soooo hot and sexy.."

"sure you are."

your two options are to kill his ego or boost it, but it kills you too much to deflate his ego.

"how cocky was i last night?"

"yeah."

TANNER;

moderately normal tolerance, maybe a TINY bit lower than the average person in their mid-20's.

like, if we're measuring in shots of vodka again, like 4 1/2 shots he'd be gone. not black out gone, but "i'm gonna talk about every celebrity i could probably pull" gone.

he's such a YAPPER when he's drunk dude.

will probably do the trend of writing fake band names to try and make you laugh

he's dancing around to loud ass music in the kitchen, invites you to dance with him, he immediately starts shoving himself against you

he won't shut up about how much he loves you

he's definitely got his head in your lap and he's making you play with his hair and listen to him talk

however you have to stop him talking at a certain point, because he'll just start having a crisis and making himself sad.

he's never blacked out, but he has terrible hangovers.

favorite drink? he strikes me as a daiquiri kinda guy. he'd love them.

but if it's more casual drinking at home, he's happy with some soju.

NICK;

literally AVERAGE tolerance.

about 2-3 shots of vodka has him tipsy, 4-6 has him drunk, and don't give him more than 8, he might start drunkenly making an album.

he's not a clear liquor guy, he prefers browns like brandy or scotch.

there is almost ALWAYS a bottle of whiskey in the fridge for nick, he never runs out.

he drinks regularly, but he doesn't HEAVILY drink on those nights.

he's super sleepy when he's drunk. he could literally fall asleep anywhere if given the opportunity

he could be laying on the floor to "stretch his back" he's asleep 10 minutes later

you have to carry this dude to bed (and if you can't do it alone, isaac helps you)

like i said he prefers drinking brown liquors, so i think he'd maybe like a tequila sunrise or just straight whiskey

BLAKE;

"i have a ROCK SOLID tolerance!" dead in 3 shots. don't listen to him lie to you

every time you and the guys go out for dinner at like chilis or something, blake orders a margarita and everyone sighs in unison

the margarita gets him on the verge of drunk. just a little past tipsy.

he can HARDLY casually drink with anyone because his tolerance is just THAT bad

you constantly pick at him for it but he's just accepted it at this point

he's so SILLY when he's drunk man

cracking jokes that do NOT land at all and are not funny unless he's talking to a bunch of drunk people

"so the.. uh.. what? yeah.. uh.."

he suddenly forgets english

he can barely formulate a SINGLE sentence and he's basically speaking in mumbles

he's like speaking in fancy or speaking in riddles like a troll under the bridge or some shit

you have to baby him while he's drunk or he won't know what the hell is going on

i think he honestly.. just likes whatever he can get his hands on.

[mrs-monaghan]

Jkk probably feel the need to defend V's behavior lately, because if they don't then they're left questioning his loyalty to Jm regarding Jk. The day V tells Jk he likes him the most or that he likes him to his face, then what? When V did that in front of Jk and said all of that to Jm, even causing Jm to tell him to stop when he kept telling him he liked him, it was written off as soulmates, besties, even with people trying to defend Jk, saying it was wrong if he's dating Jm. If V was willing to tell Jm he likes him and not be joking and later on say he likes Jm the most right in front of Jk, then what would stop V from flipping the script and doing it to Jk now, since they seem closer lately?

I don't think V would do that tho, because it is Jm he likes the most, not Jk & Jk wouldn't ever let V do something like to that Jm, but if Mr. Unpredictable ever did tho, I'm betting it wouldn't be written off as besties/soulmates, like it was with Vmin. We had Jk saying from a friend & Jm's actual panic waiting for what V was gonna say to him, then Jm looking at Jk after V said that to him & Jin's side eye & Suga yelling to break the tension. They all knew & braced for impact lol. He's not a horrible person, he loves Jikook, but he's unpredictable & enjoys trolling & kinda does before he thinks. Example, Going live from Jk's house without asking permission. If Jikook are dating, I imagine that didn't sit right with Jm & calling out people for saying it was wrong, cause they don't want to admit they themselves know its wrong, isn't okay. You may think its right, doesn't mean someone else does & no one has a right to say you can't feel its wrong. Jm is very patient with V cause he loves him & V just told Jm he loves him openly on IG just 4 mons ago, so I think Vmin are fine, but there are limits & patience can wear thin, even when it comes to besties.

what would stop V from flipping the script and doing it to JK now, since they seem closer lately?

Who's side are u on anon?

I love this video sm!! God Bless the person on twitter who made it 😂😂😂

No, but really, anon you have to watch how u say things. We live in a world where Tkkrs sent death threats to V pretending to be Jkkrs so they can make us look bad. We have them using Jimin as their PPs so they can lure people into the cult. So I am very cautious, alright? Let's be careful about how we word things so I don't side eye u 🤭🤭

Just because we don't see Jikook out and about like we used to, don't mean Tkk are now closer than Jkk. U know what, I wanna talk about this. The vermin can yell till the cows come home but we only have 2 legit instances of them being spotted together. 2. TWO instances. Bowling

And the musical

The end.

Every other instance has been made up and doesn't exist. The snowboarding which later turned into ice skating??? The way that story kept changing? And the fact that JK who hates the cold was ice skating without gloves and that's how a fan spotted him? 🤡🤡🤡🤡

Then we have the TT ontop of that one hotel. Where they supposedly spent the night together

Never mind that other members were present too and a certain girl group was also staying there. ☕

Speaking of the TT (that was for work) I have never seen anyone bring this up so I will. When this TT got posted I was trying so hard to figure out what or who I was looking at.

It was hard. Alright? Go to the comment section and see Trashkookers complain how they wish the video was clearer. The fact that I needed to check the tags to know who was dancing 🤭🤭 And so when this happened my Jikook brain couldn't help but wonder; editor - JK did he do this on purpose? Would he have edited the TT the same way if he had done it with Jimin? With Hobi? Was this him denying the cult content? We know he don't like them. 🤷🏽‍♀️ Food for thought. 🤔

Moving on swiftly....

Back to your ask my darling anon. I'm sorry your one sentence sent me into a tangent. 🙏🏽 I pretty much agree with everything u said. I will clip Jimin looking at JK during that Vmin moment so we can all enjoy it together.

Notice how Jimin didn't say "I like you the most too?" Is it because there's another person at that table that he likes the most? 👀 But the kicker is when Jimin looks at JK immediately after saying that. Immediately. Gee, I wonder why. 🤭

You know what this moment reminds me of? Bon voyage season 4 episode 6.

Jimin says he wants to sleep in the tent WHILE LOOKING AT JK. JK tells him to go ahead. No one else, just JK

Jimin repeats again *while still looking at JK* that him and Suga were gonna sleep in the tent. And JK nods.

👁👃🏽👁

This reads to me like Jimin was asking for permission here. He gets it the first time but once again feels the need to reiterate; babe, I will be in the tent with Suga. 🤭🤭

But like i said before. We don't talk about Yoonmin 🤫🤫🤫

[patchofhope]

pspssp let me hear about ur rewrites

Ok in honor of it being 413 im gonna actually sit down and share some of my personal changes that will be made to Homestuck Lore. One day I'll actually do an ENTIRE rewrite (because rewriting things, as in ACTUALLY writing them, makes me so goddamn happy u don’t even know) but heres some of the major changes. (Apologies for any grammar mistakes, my brains on full zoomies mode)

There are more than two fuschia bloods at a time, and traditionally, they're supposed to duke it out by a certain age to decide who becomes the heir(ess), but by the point the story takes place, it's more or less accepted that a lot of fuschia bloods just… don't want to do that? So they don’t. some hide out as anons, some just don't bother to turn up. The reason Fef's the heiress is bcus she basically turned off every fuschia blood in the area from fighting bcus of how sweet she is (and probably unintentionally stopping a couple assassination attempts in the process). It also helps since Gl'bgolyb is around, but that’s besides the point.

Vriska finally gets to be 'literal child in a really shitty situation with horrible influences doing what she thinks is right but is proved wrong later on and learns from her mistakes' instead of just 'hurr hurr vriska bad' bcus seriously I hate the way her character was handled

Gamzee is no longer just a haha funnie clown troll who go crazy and instead his mental wellbeing is taken seriously because it pisses me off endlessly that him 'snapping' is treated with the same amount of 'respect' as a serial killer in a shitty horror movie. No. Actual mental decline and recovery for you because attention to detail (even if it does nothing but make me, and maybe a few others, happy) is one of my beloveds.

I'm probably gonna change up the entire genetics for trolls too since the 'genetic behaviour' stuff that’s in canon just… That is Wrong and I shouldn’t have to explain why. Also just because I wanna throw in more spice to break up the monotony of grey, and actually paying attention to their biology instead of treating it like a joke is one way to do that. (seriously, what animals do you know are just. Grey. Like just one shade of grey with no features.) And bcus I get WAY into the actual internal biology of any species I make/touch to the point where I literally plot out how their organs rest in their body.

The dancestors actually get the respect they deserve as individual characters, instead of being walking stereotypes.

The carapacians get ACTUAL LOVE because HOOHOO INSECTOID PEOPLE??? ILL GLADLY WORK WITH THAT!!!

Midnight Crew + Felt get a better story (still time shenanigans, but I'll actually keep a fucking timeline of events, because it always loses me). Oh, and each one gets a proper personality instead of 4 of the Felt feeling like the same character copy pasted. (Its unfair. You will not do that to my squishes)

The kids get complete reworks, and along with it comes NEW potential points of conflict. And also Genderfluid!June who realizes it p early on because, while I may dislike HS2 greatly, June is… beloved to me. But I still love og John. So why not have both?

I will love each and every character in this goddamned webbed comic because the creator sure as fuck didn't. Stories for everyone. Everyone gets a resolution of some sort. EVEN DAVE. ESPECIALLY DAVE.

THE SPRITES WONT BE FORGOTTEN THE SECOND THEY STOP BEING USEFUL???? SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT.

And finally, because thinking of so many things at once causes space brain, the world will actually be built. Because above biology and character interactions, the thing I love most is fleshing out the areas around them. No more 'Lands getting mentioned once and not being relevant ever again'. Every single land will be visited at least once. It's a long enough story, there's plenty of time. (this mostly means a lot more time spent on the Troll's session, because I genuinely wanted to know what they were all up to before the meteor.) Theres a whole bunch more, but I can't just sit here and keep writing this forever so, I'm cutting it shorter than I want to. (infodumping go brrrr)

[lawusstuffs]

Lol i think you're going through that phase of your blog where you get many fun asks and questions about your AUs, but then some people gradually start losing their scruples and start asking weird shit like date advice, face reveal (when you probably should never be pressured to do one unless you want to show your face or something and it's even weirder if anons do it), and all kinds of things that have nothing to do with your blog's intent, so just a kind reminder that it's okay to not respond to an inappropriate ask if you ever get one in the future, it's common for that sort of stuff to happen.

I actually talked about this cause i got me alot of inappropriate asks that i just delete (because some makes me feel guilty for not answering it/feel really uncomfortable to answer it) xdd

I asked to tone it down a bit, of course. Though there's still some that would probably do it as a troll or something. Not that i mind-

But i honestly don't mind the scuffed things hence why i got me some scuffed blogs section and stuff. There are also some things that i find uninteresting/don't want to answer that I'll just ignore/delete.

There's also asks that i tend to keep because i wanna make something about it.. Or basically just unsure if i should answer or nah xd

If i got another face reveal stuff I'd just joke about it.. Depends on my mood.. x"d

Might put a shrek pic on it cause that's pretty accurate- but please don't start spamming my asks with face reveals after i posted this x""""d

But thank you, my lil' fwippie *hugs* for telling these to me. I feel alot safer with my lil' fwippies saying these kind of things to me.. ^^

[kaypeace21]

can you maybe stop telling people what they ship and what they don’t ship.. i swear you’re so fucking stubborn. and if you wanna defend mike so damn much then do it cause i bet more then half your followers hate him. it’s the way you clearly don’t see how many bylers hate mike and love will do you SEE the problem here??

This is the 5th anon message (in 1 day) you sent me.and you’re not stubborn? I’m not the one who has sent 5 anon messages in a row? Why don’t you just chill out and ignore me. You’re this pissed cause I said your hate to Max was unjustified. I kindly pointed out max didn’t make El spy on Mike - like you claimed . El spied on mike in s2 - before she even met Max. Then you got infuriated that I pointed out that all the flaws you claimed were about the elmax friendship were actually just flaws with mileven. Some of you hate on Max just cause you saw her as a hindrance to Mileven. Then in the second message you got pissed and brought up byler (which I didn’t even bring up in the first post!) Cause you just ... wanted to fight about byler despite totally being a byler shipper? Specifically said if mike was actually gay and dated el before he realized he’d be “an ass”. And if el and mike were confused about thinking they loved eachother when they didn’t “they’d be the worst characters ever.” Then brought up Will being bad cause he called El stupid (which was projection cause right after that he called himself stupid 4x). 3rd message went on a tangent about how much better and nicer mileven shippers are and that you ship both byler and mileven. And 4th message just go on about how Will was horrible to El, and max did horrible things in s3 , and that bylers hate on mike all the time , and elmax sucks. And now this. Yes you totally ship byler and aren’t just a mileven who got pissed that my 1st comment criticized your ship . So then in the second message brought up byler randomly to try and critique it. And just got pissy when called out as pretending to be a byler shipper and not getting the answers you wanted 😂 you can ship mileven. I’m not stopping you .

Also , I’ve constantly defended mike. And called out bylers for the hating him in the past. I literally defended mike when you claimed him being gay and dating el before hand would make him “awful”. You clearly don’t follow me and probably just believe all the lies mileven shippers say about me on twitter 🙄 . I’ve even told other bylers that the way Mike treated El was worse than Will. At least mike apologized to Will. Mike never apologized for lying- to El. And I still said that mike hate is unjustified countless times (cause he’s a kid)! Kids make mistakes! And especially cause I explained Mike saying (In the garage) “ it’s not my fault you don’t like girls “ was projecting his own gay feelings on to Will. Similar to how Will (in the garage) saying El was “stupid” was projecting his own feelings - why Will called himself “stupid” (4x at castle byers) after their fight in the garage and this comment about El. But you get angry at the concept of byler / projection so... that won’t help.

Past comments:

Part 1 (their first Max message/my response ) part 2 (second message/ my response ) part 3 (comments 3-4) . In this annoying ass saga 😂

Now please - move on . I only didn’t block you to prove how unhinged milevens get when you don’t block them . Look how angry you’ve gotten . This bylers is why you have block milevens -they just don’t give up and get angrier and angrier 😅

 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Update: 6th message

I said for you to leave me alone. Not mike. How was that not clear? Also he’s a fictional character- what are you talking about?Oh my god .😅 You can do whatever you want on your own blog-just stop spamming me.

Mileven fan base (who are predominantly straight) use homophobic talking points and slurs to discredit byler / queer st fans . Many of us have gotten messages calling us the f and d word. Then milevens constantly private message bylers ,minding their own business, and call bylers “stupid” or “delusional “ ( or straight up sending de*th t#reats) . ( When these bylers are in their own tags -minding their own business- and don’t cross tag mileven at all ) . Bylers rarely go on to mileven posts that gush about mileven and then make jokes about how horrible the ship is and how delusional it’s shippers are (in said mileven post). Milevens do that all the time - they’ll go to a random byler post , only tagged byler , and make such comments about the byler ship/shippers . They also personally insult people for shipping byler and not mileven. Like me. Many mileven anons sent me messages making fun of my autism cause I shipped byler and said I’m not allowed to talk about byler /analyze the show cause I’m autistic and incapable of providing anything meaningful to the fandom because of my autism(all while hypocrically saying it’s ableist for anyone to think El isn’t ready to date yet). And bylers have the audacity... to in turn!!! Not like your ship and critique the issues with the (fictional) pairing using canon evidence in the show . And rarely send any direct messages/personal attacks to people who ship mileven . We criticize a ship - milevens directly message and attack the opposing shippers . There’s a difference between saying In the byler tag “mileven (the ship) is bad” or even an offensive blanket statement like “mileven shippers are blank” vs a person directly messaging a random individual who ships mileven and saying “you’re stupid for shipping mileven.bla bla.” A lot of the mileven fandom doesn’t seem to know the obvious difference when playing the victim. 🙄

And now you say byler is shipped just cause it’s “2 hot boys.” Which is yet another anti byler/pro mileven talking point.  You don’t ship byler (you’re just a mileven troll -move on) . Also-Ew - they’re kids. I’m an adult lesbian who actually likes well developed relationships - especially if lgbt. That’s all. And I’ve already criticized other bylers for some of their questionable heteronormative behavior and creepy fetishistic behavior of the characters/actors.  Also Bylers usually like El -more than milevens like Will. We don’t like mileven cause we see it’s bad for El’s character development and mental health. We care about El and think getting to know the real world and herself is better than rushing into a relationship (before she’s actually ready). But, y’all hate Will over a few comments he’s made. And I’ve seen milevens say they want Will d*ad or even say they wish he never came back from the upsidedown. And that’s just cause you’re threatened he’ll ruin mileven. Ya’ll are projecting . YOU EVEN SAID bylers make you not like Will as much- in a diff message. But go off.   (And leaaaave me alone ). Blocked you cause you have no self control to do it yourself .😂

[swanimagines]

2019

Wanted to make a post to mark the end of this year. This is the last day when there’s still 2019 all around the world. If I made this post tomorrow, there would already be 2020 someplace in the world - and I’d feel like a fool to post this then :D

It’s the 30th of December and the time is 4:37pm here as I write this post. And this is a short summary of my year.

This year has been horrible in my personal life. I tried so hard to make this year good - maybe it was too much. 

Good things: I got my guinea pigs, I kicked my butt and apologized to one of my ex-friends for being so horrible to her. I didn’t expect her to forgive me or us to be friends again - but it happened and it’s like there was no time in between at all, as we laugh and joke just like before our fight. I moved into my “own” apartment. I watched all the MCU movies + X-Men movies + The Maze Runner movies (and I liked them all). 

Bad things: My fave nurse stayed on maternity leave in October and won’t come back till next autumn, she had her daughter just before Christmas. Two of my guinea pigs nearly died. I also had to give two of my babies away because of bloody fights (and I miss them every day :c I hope and believe they’re well though ♥).

---

ABOUT THE TUMBLR/BLOG!!

Honestly, this blog has been the best thing this year. I’ve felt so loved, I’ve felt like I matter, like I have a place to go when everything else feels like shit. I’ve felt joy when people whose blogs I have been following for years have followed me back, people have commented on my fics, spread my blog around, sent me nice messages and even made me gifts for Christmas. For the first time ever, I really feel I did something right when I decided to step into the world of imagines again - I’ve had many public blogs in Tumblr from regular Tumblr to photography Tumblr, from gaming Tumblr to art Tumblr. But none has ever been like this, like people interact with me and tell me they love my blog. My first two imagine blogs fell because I didn’t get any requests + my motivation died with the lack of requests, but when I did my DBH imagine Tumblr, I somehow knew that it’s what I wanna do. Even when I changed blogs along the way. 

I’m astonished and on the verge of tears at the same time, because a year ago, I wouldn’t have believed that so many people would follow me, request such beautiful things to me and tell me they like what I do. Trolls come and go regularly here too, but they rarely move me anymore, I don’t even think answering them anymore, I’m just blocking them and forget about them. That was very difficult for me a year ago but now I’m able to brush it off just like that.

Also, my friends M and N have been A HUGE support for me this year. They deserve every good thing in the world for bearing with me for this year. ♥ And they will get the best thing in the world (food) when I get to meet them!

Some people who have been part of my Tumblr year in some way and made it amazing:

@myriadimagines​

- Literally a goddess with staying in character. I don’t know how she does it but I vividly remember stepping into Sam’s blog for the first time a few years ago and admiring her ever since. + Sam’s super sweet!!! ♥ I love her comments. ALSOOOO I read her Jerome gift fic like 10 times a day at one point XD

@lotsoffandomimagines​

- Ace is super hard-working with their blog!! I love their blog and I enjoy seeing their work in my dash + Ace is super sweet too!! ♥ I remember how good it made me feel when Ace reblogged my wanted: requests post when my inbox was empty because they wanted to help. Also I was watching a movie when they published my gift and I was red and giggly for the rest of the movie XD Loved it ♥

@arthurofthebook​ 

- I’ve really enjoyed talking with you ♥ + Your comments on my fics always get a big smile on my face c:

@tessaisalbright​ 

- When you started to chat with me, you were the sorcerer anon! Remember? :D But now you’ve been there with your username and we chat sometimes and I always enjoy talking with you ♥

@kpopgirlbtssvt​ 

- I’ll always remember you as the person who requests a reader who’s sweet & innocent :D But your comments have brought a smile to my face + you’re always super understanding if I tell you that I won’t be able to do a request in the way you requested it/I suggest a tweak.

@oneofakindimagines​​ 

- I had accidentally unfollowed her at the start of this year(?), but fortunately I noticed my mistake! We’ve been talking sometimes with Molly and seeing her posts on my dash somehow gives me a warm feeling. Also I loved loved loved her moodboard gift for me.

@carolinesbookworld​​ 

- Caroline is a complete sweetheart I just wanna run up to and hug. Someone give me a private plane so I could fly over there or a teleporting skill. ♥

@arcadias-hell​​

- Zanyyyyy!!! ♥ She’s amazing. I’m not arguing about it with anyone. She’s amazing. (Also I’d need that plane/teleporting skill with her too)

@iknowmyvalue-fics​​ 

- Aaahhh she made me kick my own butt to request something XD The most terrifying thing in the world tbh (no don’t get it wrong, Ella is not scary, she’s amazing). + Ella pulls her fics from the magic suitcase of impossible things. Could someone teach me to write like that?

@connerkennt​ 

- Enna’s d e s c r i p t i o n s. I could go hours with talking about them, they’re a masterpiece on their own and I remember when I first came to Enna’s blog, I was reading her fics and my friend asked that did I get a heart attack or something because my eyes were wide and mouth open XD Haha, I guess the descriptions took me by surprise. + That Steve x reader gift made me feel like I’m really kissing someone! :D

@multifandomwriter121​​

- Aaaaahhhh their requests have been really inspiring + their comments get me to smile every time!!! + They feel nice too as I’ve chatted a bit with them!

(Btw they write too, go check that blog out)

Thank you for everyone for sticking with me this year, for liking, reblogging and commenting on my works and showing me love - I do this mainly because of you and the best feeling ever is when someone tells me they liked what I wrote. If I did this just for myself, I’d keep these behind closed doors and not showing these to anyone but I love the thought of making people happy with publishing these and it just gives me more energy and inspiration when I get comments. I hope you’ve liked what I’ve created this year and I hope you’ll stay here with me in the future too.

Here’s to 2020, be a good year!

[cblgblog]

Anyway, hate Hayley, she's a b***ch, you can defend her all you want but that doesn't change the things she said in the past, people were rude to Emily especially her and idiot Evans and their "fans", glad it's over for them in the MCU so hopefully we can try to have her in the MCU without their negativity and I hope fans start to respect her as an actress and person.

Lol, anyway, you’re a moron, and not because you like Sharon or EVC.. The only people who have actually disrespected EVC are other fans. You talk about respect, but call another actress a bitch...why? Because she ended up with more screen time than Sharon? How about you not be a moron, and blame people who actually have control over the franchise, like Feige, the Russos, the writers... 

Because she was mean to EVC? Show me. Show me where Hayley Atwell ever said a word against EVC as an actress or a person. And no, joking comments about Sharon Carter don’t count, because they are not, in fact, the same person.  Where’s the part where Hayley said publicly that EVC was garbage? It doesn’t exist, because the most she ever did was to say she didn’t like Staron. Her fans are a different matter, for sure, but she can’t control them, just like EVC can’t control people like you. 

You wanna blame fans? Cool, blame the fans. Chris and Hayley have no control over what their fans say. I like EVC as Sharon and as an actress in some other things, just don’t like Staron. There are a lot of people like that. If other people have been rude to EVC for stupid ship reasons, and yes, they have, that has nothing to do with the actors. Put your hate where it belongs.

Also....you are telling me this...why? I’ve got a Steggy picture as the header on my blog, so obviously I’m not gonna agree with you, so like...what’s your point? To troll? To  bitch about actors instead of idiots on the Internet? 

Hey, at least Chris, Hayley, and other actors put themselves out there, for dumbasses like you to hate on. You’re on Tumblr, already hiding behind a screen, and you can’t even come off anon to do your whining? Either get enough of a spine to stand behind your words, or don’t bother.

EVC deserves better fans than a spineless moron who thinks that calling another actress a bitch, and being so half-assed about it that you can’t even do it off of anon, is actually accomplishing anything, or “defending her.”

[migleefulmoments]

Love how they prove they stalk this blog by adopting the terminology you use to try to insult us. Is anything this posse of morons do or say their own independent thinking? What isn’t parroted verbatim repeats of what ajw says are usually hilarious vapid attempts at insults.

I have noticed a few of my words tossed into their rotation, LOL. 

I don’t see a lot of independent thinking. In the fandom itself, I see a lot of parroted phrasing using the talking points created by the Board of Directors and specifically ajw. They like to get stuck on a pointless trope and they just can’t let it go. Right now they won’t stop talking about Darren’s mom going to an awards show. We will hear about that until the wedding throws them into a tizzy and changes the talking points. 

As for the insults....oh lord. They are something else. This new thing where they all gang up to viscously attack anons is interesting. I find it so 4th-grade clique-or like bees protecting their hive-they all run over and attack the person who is making their friend SAD. They can’t make a valid argument, so they just viciously attack without any actual critical evaluation or intelligent comeback-just like those 4th graders. They resort to calling anons homophobes, criticize reading skills or typos -which is literally the most disingenuous attack ever as their leader is the queen of the typo. They rant and rave about how blind we are to the PR narrative and claim they themselves are so clever they see right through it. They belittle us for “wasting our time” posting comments when they themselves spend all day doing the same thing. It’s a distraction technique. Calling anons “Mia Stans” seems to be their idea of a “fuck you”. The thing is, nobody is trying to be a Mia Stan. I know there are a few, I see their comments on Twitter and Instagram, but I have yet to see an ask on a CC blog from someone who is blindly obsessed over MIa’s greatness. People are supporting Darren and his chosen love.

Mostly, the CCers’ insults serve to distract from reality but more and more they  dole out silly insults which project their own fears and failings. This gem from yesterday is a perfect specimen to examine: 

“M looked absolutely stunning last night. Just like she did for the Emmys and Golden Globes!! Hate her for no reason but you can’t deny the truth.”

Here we have an anon who is engaging them. in a tiny bit of trolling. Anon isn’t  rude, isn’t aggressive, and��isn’t lying- Mia always looks amazing. 

cassie1022 answered:

Nonnie, you’re entitled to your opinion. I’m entitled to mine. She was an absolute train wreck last night. If my opinion offends you, STAY THE FUCK OFF MY BLOG.

So we start off with an insult to Mia and a rude AGGRESSIVE response 

chrisdarebashfulsmiles”Check your sight anon. She looked better in some occasions in the past. And I can agree about the gg, the dress was OK but she seemed high. And believe me we have plenty of reasons to despise her and in them there’s no jealousy. 

Do you wanna Stan her? Do whatever you want but don’t come here reading if you don’t wanna see something that upset you.

Here we have several of their favorite comebacks; insult anon; denigrate Mia by calling her high. Then we come to our projection: we have plenty of reasons to despise her and in them there’s no jealousy. Nope, no jealousy here, nope, never. Next the “Stan” accusation and she ends by claiming the anon is upset when in fact it is Cassie and herself who are very clearly upset. 

ajw720

Oh Nonnie, I have tried to be good and not comment too much on her style, and I agree, she was fine at the Emmy’s and GG.  But she managed to top her previous worst RC look (ACS premiere) with that $15,000 mess on the CCs.  It looked like cheap lingerie with a skirt attached.

ajw always has to join in the fun-i’ve joked in the past that she is contractually obligated to comment on every anon/ask response in the CC fandom. She starts out with “nonnie” which is just a passive aggressive “sweetie”. She then goes right in- after “trying to be good”- and lets loose with the insults about Mia’s style, the dress, and the expense. Nobody is jealous here.  

And while I don’t love the original dress, it is far superior to that thing she wore.

You can continue to love her, keep deluding yourself that what they have is healthy and she is a good person, the truth, someday, will be revealed and you will feel foolish. I just hope that day is sooner because D deserves his freedom.  

She continues by calling her a Stan without using the word. Then we come to the second projection:  the truth, someday, will be revealed and you will feel foolish.  

flowersintheattic254

Interesting that the shirt under it makes it classier and no surprise she removed. Although if I’m honest to me it looks like corset with some bedsheets and pillow cases attached.

She stuck with pure misogynistic attacks on Mia’s style and dress. She insinuated she is classless, maybe even slutty with her word choice. 

stillgoingstrongforeternity

@flowersintheattic254 to be completely honest, the shirt under was added for the picture (not sure if it’s a promotional one for the designer or if it’s an editorial one, maybe @ajw720 can tell us where she found that), she didn’t remove it. Tbh I like this editorial better than the original. But the original dress is exactly how she wore it at the event :)

Stillgoingstrong kept it to mostly to facts.  

ajw720

Well if it was just added for the picture they should have kept it. Either way it’s pretty hideous. Mommy beard should have done better to represent her label.

@souly did send me the link to the dress for sale without the top part.

Truly you’d think if you had TWO purposes, enable your lazy princess in her drive to be famous and promote the brand for which you are president, you’d do much better than this.

And to think they posted m’s latest fashion train wreck the VW website.

Imagine spending that much money for this absolute mess.

ajw comes back and attacks Mia, Mia’s mom and the price of the dress again. Nope no jealousy here. It seems obvious but I need to say it: Clearly someone who designed the dress liked it and the person who approves the designs liked it and the person who published it in the magazine (with the shirt underneath) liked it and Mia liked it. Everyone is entitled to like or not like fashion but going on an outright rant about the failings of Mia, her mom and Vera Wang as well as the price is uncalled for and says way more about author of the comment than the designer of the dress. Also, because I’m being petty, I need to remind ajw that she momsplained that Darren’s parents participated in a “stunt” after the Emmy’s because a parent’s love for their child is endless. Same would be true of MIa’s mom, no?  

Anonymous asked:Knowing what M posts on her SM I don’t know how mama Criss puts up with her. If she’s anything like my mother.

Mama C/riss deals with her because D is one of the most important people in the world to her and she will do anything for her son, just like most moms.  And that sadly involved M.  

Anonymous asked:

If Darren’s parents know mia is fake gf they wouldn’t want to be near her. They have no reason to. There’s no way that contract includes them. Then why are they hanging out with her?

ajw720 answered:

Really anon?  Really?  These are his PARENTS, the two people who support him more than anyone aside from C.  Of course they are going to do ANYTHING to protect him. and right now apparently she needs to be integrated into every aspect of his life.  One (of many) things that has lacked is a close bond with his parents, so they are trying to rehabilitate this just like with so many other things.

Never underestimate the love a parent has for a child.  

cassie1022

Oh, please, keep these ridiculous messages coming. They are honestly giving me life right now. Anon, did you SEE the expression on his mother’s face in those pap pics? That’s not the look of someone happy with the situation. Love that M had to play nice and act the part of a somewhat decent human being since his parents were there. No kicks of love with steel toed combat boots that day.

chrisdarebashfulsmiles

I’m starting to make popcorn anon: your s*** is entertaining. What I find amazing is that maybe you also waste time in thinking all of this

As an actual parent, I can promise you that making nice with my son’s abuser would not be ONE of the things I did out of love. That is an asinine statement. 

[winchester-with-wings]

Late Night Chivalry

Peter Parker x Reader

🕷🕸 Anon Commissioned on May 15th :  A fluff Peter ParkerxReader 1.5k words. Sumthin like Peter and you been really good friends (you know his secret) and he ends up savin you from gettin mugged as you’re walkin home from hangin out with him earlier that night and he comforts you cuz of how scared you were and just him bein the little sweetie pie he normally is. Take as much liberty as you want, I just want sweet and savory feelins after intense action. I’ll donate on kofi, knows it’s me from the signature -🕷🕸

Word Count: 2400ish. Anon paid for only 1.5k but the story wanted to be longer :) That’s on me and I’m happy with the result :)

Trigger Warning: harassment, potential assault, mugging, language

Mobile Masterlist / Ko-Fi (anything helps to pay the bills <3)

Wanna commission a fic like this? Click here!

Between binge-watching Netflix and a few video game sessions, you and Peter still managed to work on a school project. Just like any other Saturday night for you nerds.

It’s past midnight when your eyes finally feel heavy with exhaustion. Peter catches you dozing once or twice, your legs tangled in his blankets on the bottom bunk of his bunk bed.

“I should go,” you say, rolling off the bed and nearly falling to the floor. Peter chuckles and groans. He hangs from the top bunk, his feet hooked on the rails so that he can dangle upside down while he watches you collect your things, stuffing textbooks and papers into your bag with no regard.

“You sure you don’t want to stay here tonight? I’ll give you the top bunk” he offers.

“As nice as that sounds, Pete, I gotta get home. Mom and I are making pancakes tomorrow morning. You know how important that is to her…”

“Yeah,” Peter shrugs with a frown well aware of your current home situation. He cared for you mom as much as his own Aunt May. You had grown up living in the same building as Peter ever since he came to live with his Aunt May. After your parents’ divorce, you and your mom had had to move; both he and May had felt the loss of their friends and neighbors.

“Still...I wish you didn’t have to go.” Peter starts climbing along the wall and up to the ceiling. He does it so casually around you now that you’d known his secret for a year or so now. He starts dangling from the ceiling. His apparent desire to stall your retreat has you taking a seat and munching on some cheetos. “Hey, remember when your mom and May would let us have sleepovers?”

“Yeah, and remember how they stopped letting us do that when we were each other’s first kiss. You really think they’ll let us have a sleepover as teenagers? What with having gone through puberty?” you roll your eyes. Your mention of your shared first kiss carried no awkwardness with it.

“Yeah. Puberty was pretty rough on you too, huh?” Peter teases and you throw a cheeto at him. He catches it in his mouth and chews. You can’t imagine how he manages to chew and swallow while upside down. “I’m kidding. You know what I think of you.” Your blush is faint and barely noticeable. Having grown up together, the two of you had entertained the notion of dating once or twice. The timing was never really right and luckily it hadn’t affected your friendship. “I just worry about you. That’s why I don’t want you to go. I don’t like that you live so far away now.”

“I know, but that’s how it is now, Petey. Mom couldn’t keep the apartment when Dad left. We had to move away.” You roll up the bag of cheetos and set it aside. Shirking on your backpack, you look like you’re ready to leave. You tug on Peter’s shirt to make him drop from the ceiling; you didn’t tug hard...like it’s not like you yanked him from the ceiling...it was more like a tug on a rope to signal your descent...he knew what you meant.

“Then maybe we shouldn’t be doing these late nights anymore,” he suggested, straightening out his clothes and hair.

“If you don’t want me hanging around anymore, Peter, just say so,” you tease, always only half joking.

“No! That’s not it at all! I just don’t like the idea of you walking home alone.”

“Don’t worry. I have pepper spray. Dad gave it to me...before I went on my first date.” You tap Peter on the nose. He sighs.

“Oh, I thought you were going to say that’s what he gave you before he left.”

“Well that’s just sad and mean. No, he got me a new cell phone that day.”

“Ouch.” Peter slings his arms around your shoulders. Talking to him about your dad, someone who’d decided to leave with little regard for yourself or your mother, wasn’t such a heavy burden with Peter. You could tell him anything and he’d understand the serious undertone at the same time as he’d try to make things better. That’s one of the things you loved about him. “Just promise me, you’ll be safe and use that new cell phone to call me when you get home?”

“Of course! The new place is just three blocks away from the train station.”

Peter slips his feet into a pair of sneakers. “Okay...just let me walk you out, at least.”

Peter probably went out on a nightly patrol as Spider-man when you left. You didn’t think much of it. You didn’t worry for him as much as he’d seemed worried for you. But why should he worry? You’d grown up in this city--granted you’re in a new neighborhood but hey! Spider-man had made it a safer neighborhood, right?

The train ride was short and uneventful. You weren’t the only one there. Maybe a few older teens, a nurse on her way home, an old lady with a paper grocery bag (at this time of night? Sure why not?). You kept to yourself--obviously--and thought nothing of your short commute home until you were off the train.

You assume the four men at the stop are waiting to board the train you’ve just exited. You give it no passing thought. But when you start heading down the street, away from the platform, the muffled sound of their voices alerts you to the fact that they never did board the train. You hope they’re heading somewhere else but what are the chances?

“Hey, baby!” one of them calls out. You ignore them, pretend you have headphones in and you can’t hear them.

“Hey sweet thing! Hold up!” another one of them shouts. You can’t pretend you didn’t hear that. They say so themselves. You bring your backpack in front of you, opening the pockets to search for your house keys. The pepper spray is a keychain. Why didn’t you walk home with this already in hand? Because you were delusional to think you’d be safe after midnight in Queens? As your fingers curl around the key ring, you hear the heavy footsteps rushing towards you.

“Hey babe, why not answering us? You got somewhere better to be?”

They start to circle you, even as you press forward.

“Leave me alone,” you protest in an even voice, despite the fear and adrenaline rushing through you.

“Nah, you can’t just walk away. You just got off the train right? You gotta pay the toll.”

“What are you? Freaking trolls that live under a bridge? Leave me alone!” You stand up for yourself, shoving past one of the men and brandishing your pepper spray. They curse at you, lunge for you and grab at your backpack. You hold onto it out of instinct. The only thing worth anything in there is just your wallet. Why are you fighting for it? Defiance in the face of weakness, that’s why.

They get too close to you, overpowering you, one of them holding you back while the other two wrassle away your backpack. You yank your arm free just for a moment and aim your pepper spray at the closest man.

“Ah!! SHIT!” he yells, letting go of your bag. His friends are startled enough to loosen their hold on you and your belongings. You grab them and run. Just one more block! You tell yourself and your pounding heart.

“Get back here bitch!” one of them shouts. A quick glance over your shoulder and you think you see the glint of light bouncing off a blade.

“Hey! That’s no way to talk to a lady!” someone else shouts.

You’re stomach sinks--both with relief and fear.

Someone’s coming to help you.

But you know that voice.

You hide behind a bus shelter and finally turn around to look for your assailants. Right away, the whimpering man whose face is red and streaked with tears...he’s taken care of. His hands are still covering his face as he tries to relieve the pain. Instead, Spider-man’s webbing covers his face and hands, effectively gluing them together.

Spider-man swings in and rams into the same guy, knocking him off balance and into a wall. The other two, they turn to face the brave teenaged Avenger.

“You’re far from your turf, bugboy!” one of them growls as he lunges for Spider-man. He jumps out of the way and onto the side of a building. He shoots twice from wrists. The man is knocked off balance by his near miss and Spider-man is able to stick one foot and one hand to the ground.

“This is my neighborhood too. I can’t have you going around and mugging people!” Spider-man...Peter...jumps off the side of the building and lands a few feet from the third assailant. He stands up at his full height with his shoulders tall and chest out. “And I definitely can’t have you attacking my friends.”

Contrary to his usual style, Peter runs at the man straight on.

“No! He’s got a knife!” you shout. It doesn’t seem to register or matter to him. Peter is stronger than he looks. He tries to punch the guy but he blocks it and tries to restrain him with his webbing. But the mugger uses his knife in his other hand to cut the webbing and break free.

“Spider-freak!” The man shouts as he swipes at Peter. Peter jumps back, seemingly avoiding the blade. But you see his hand rush to his abdomen. He’s hurt! And he’s distracted enough that the mugger lands a few punches to lay Peter out on the floor. “Spider-man? You’re just a loser kid. Now get out of here!”

“No,” Peter groans, struggling to get up. The mugger sets his sights on you. You’re frozen, unsure of whether to run to Peter or to run for safety.

“Peter,” you whisper, too quiet for anyone else to hear.

“Karen! Taser web! High voltage!” Peter shouts and his suit responds. Peter extends his left arm and his webshooters let loose. The taser web fires in two strands and hits your would-be attacker in the back. The man loses his voice as he tries to cry out at the pain of voltage surging through him. He convulses and drops to the ground. Another release of his normal webbing and the mugger’s is stuck to the pavement.

Peter collapses too.

You’re supporting Spider-man’s weight as you take him home with you. He’s keeping his hand on his side and you’re concerned at even the slightest sight of blood.

“Peter, you idiot. Why did you do that?” you hiss, tears are running down your cheeks despite your best effort to keep calm.

“Idiot? Didn’t I save you?”

“Yeah, but...now you’re hurt! How did you even know?”

Despite his condition, the two of you are quiet as you enter your apartment building and head for your front door. Your mom is working a night shift. She’ll be home soon, just in time for breakfast.

“Um...I was following you...obviously. Like I said, I was worried about you,” Peter admits as you bring him inside and towards your bedroom.

You urge him to sit on your bed. You try to make him lie down so you can look at his wound.

“Stop fussing, Nurse Y/N. I’m fine. I’ll heal.” He even says this just as he uses some of his webbing as a bandage. You jab at his shoulder.

“Of course I won’t stop fussing! You scared me half to death! I was so worried about you getting hurt, Pete!” Your body is tensing up, the adrenaline in your veins dying off and bringing you back to the verge of exhaustion. Your knees feel like they’re about to give up but you feel like you can only muster enough strength to scold your friend for risking his life.

Peter pulls off his mask and taps his chest to loosen his suit; it pools around his waist where he’s sitting. You can see the bruises beginning to form on his cheek and stomach, and again the large gash in his side from the knife currently bandaged with spiderwebs.

He tugs on your hand and makes you sit on your bed beside him.

“Are you alright? Are you sure?” he asks you. You nod but it only takes another second before you start hyperventilating and shaking. “Oh geez,” he sighs and wraps his arms around you. “Don’t worry. I’m here for you.”

“The way they came after me...and then…” you gasp, “then you showed up and I was so scared for you. Peter...I know you’re Spider-man. I know you can take care of yourself but I don’t see you that way, Pete! You’re my friend and all I could see was my friend putting himself in danger for me. I was…” you tremble…”I was...scared,” you admit. Curling into his bare chest and he holds onto you even tighter. He hums and shushes you.

“It’s okay. I’m here for you. I’ll always protect you. I’ll always follow you like a creep, I promise,” his comment elicits a small chuckle from you both. He tries to lay you down but you cling to him. Eventually, you release him, allowing him to strip out of his spider-suit and into a pair of gym shorts and a t-shirt he’s likely left behind in the past.

“Please don’t leave me,” you whimper as he climbs back onto the bed with you and opens his arms again. “Don’t leave me. Don’t be like him.” Peter’s chest fills with a sharp intake of breath. He’s solid and stable, enveloping you in his warmth and comfort.

“Never. I’ll never leave you. I’ll always be there. As your friendly neighborhood Spider-man and as your best friend.” Peter kisses the top of your head. “I’ll make sure nothing ever happens to you.”

A moment of silence passes as you relax and your tears of shock dry on your cheeks.

“Will you stay with me tonight?” Peter’s arms encircle you even more, cuddling you.

“Of course.”

Your mother comes home tired and ready to crawl into bed, but not before she has pancakes with you.

She peeks into your room and sees Peter sleeping next to you. She doesn’t say anything.

She naps on the couch until you wake up on your own and when only you come out of your room she asks, “Will Peter be joining us?”

She doesn’t say much more, doesn’t question his presence at the dining table as he stuffs his mouth with chocolate chip pancakes. She knows he’ll always be here for you. That’s all she could’ve ever hoped for.

Commissions and Donations are appreciated!

Tags: @faithtrustandpixiedust95  @thinkwritexpress-official @talesoftheimpala  @autoblocked  @book-loving--anime-chick  @overlyobsethed  @bookworm4ever99  @whoopxd  @geeksareunique @therealcap  @potterwolf16  @frankie2902  @officialcaptain-marvel

[jjeehoon]

wanna one as your fanboys

requested by my fav woojin stan anon lol

have a gif of your man btw lol

a reverse au where instead of them being your idols, you’re being their idols. 

a/n: i did some editing on minhyun’s bc this man ain’t quiet,,, he’s literally the loudest out of nu’est smh  

jisung:

MEMES. Jisung would be the one fan who’d be turning you into a living meme. Even if you already were a living meme, he’d make you into an even funnier one. Plenty of screenshots of your cute derp faces would be sent to his friends often as reactions, due to the fact that he couldn’t react to their messages in real life. Sometimes, if he were ever feeling especially hilarious, he’d message you on Instagram with a meme he made of you captioned, “notice me unnie/oppa, please!” You’d view his profile when you were looking through your incredibly filled DMs, and you’d laugh loudly at the sight of his clearly male feed. If he met you in real life, he’d spend his time making you laugh with puns and funny faces the entire time, since it was short lived and he wanted to do anything to make it last. 

sungwoon:

Sungwoon admired you so, s o much, and no one could blame him, because he believed you were perfect. You were the juniors of his buddies, Kai and Taemin, and at one point, he was jealous that they were under the same company as you were. “So, like, when is your CEO gonna let me into the building to let me see (y/n) - I mean, your group members?” He’d ask them every once in a while. Sungwoon would also be singing along to your parts in your latest hit single while he was with his group of friends as if it weren’t obvious enough that he liked you. Once they finally obliged to him meeting you, his ears would heat up once he saw you, like they typically did when he was embarrassed. You would probably also hear some small voice cracks every now and then while talking to him, but probably because he was tired and flustered, which didn’t exactly click in his agenda. Oh well - you called him adorably handsome, and that’s all that matters.

minhyun:

There were two sides to his fanboy, the fanboy where he’d be smiling to himself when he hears your name on the streets or something, and the fanboy where he’s jumping around the house and happily screaming your new song. Neighbours of his wouldn’t be surprised when they hear his loud voice on the other side of the wall. Minhyun also seems like someone who enjoys making covers of your songs. He was pleased to think that your songs, your angelic voice matched with his light and thin tone extremely well. People who followed him were also your fans and they enjoyed his covers when he occasionally posted them, but the most important thing here is that they literally begged Minhyun to do a (y/n) selca day thing because they thought the two of you looked great together. After crying to himself, ranting to Dongho about it (”they’re like me to you, bro, they aren’t gonna let me live”), and disagreeing with his followers for the longest time, he would post it. And, not gonna be lying here, they were right - the amount of visual in that relationship would be incredible.

seongwoo:

Similarly to Jisung, he’d express his love through memes and other funny things. He’d probably be the type who has a spam account on Instagram where he posts crack videos that he made of you and photos of you making hearts captioned, “have I ever mentioned how much I f u c k i n g love (y/n) because I LOVE (Y/N) SO MUCH”. Probably also in the comments section of your music videos with the most original comments, including jokes and gags without forgetting to mention how great you looked and how wonderful you sounded. Seongwoo would never hesitate to start jamming out to your songs if they ever came on in public, hitting some of the dance moves smoothly while shopping for clothes. He’d draw some attention to the other shoppers, and he’d be hoping the slightest bit that you were there watching him dance as well.

jaehwan:

I don’t know why (lol), but Jaehwan seems like a proud member of stan twitter. Sometimes, he’d be really soft and post acoustic covers of your songs which would cause an uproar in the fandom. He’d smirk once he saw the amount of reposts there were on Twitter itself, as well as seeing his covers on Instagram and Tumblr. Other times, he’d be shitposting just as much as Seongwoo would be. Heck, Jaehwan and Seongwoo would probably be partners in crime, making the dankest memes possible and making other users vote for which meme is better. Jaehwan’s probably also the type to ship himself with you, saying things like, “look at that. Just look at it, Ong, (y/n) and I would be the ultimate visual couple. Ultimate visual, vocal, flute playing couple. No, shut up, I don’t care if (y/n) plays the clarinet. Our children would inherit our talent and beauty and they’d be fucking legends just like (y/n) was.” 

daniel:

As we all know, Daniel loves dancing to Signal, so he loves dancing to your songs as well. Like his husband #ongnielisscience Seongwoo, hearing any of your big hits in public means a celebratory dancing spree, no matter what he was doing at the time. At the vet for his cats? He’d be doing the hand movements in the waiting room. Just woke up from a coma? Playing your music gets him back into daily routine immediately. Preparing dinner with his family? He’d be shuffling down the counter to the upbeat melody. Asides from that, he would seems like the type of person to think about your ideal type every once in a while - he thought about how he would make a good boyfriend to you. Of course, he was smart enough to keep his daydreaming to himself; that is, until he meets you in person and just falls for you even harder.

jihoon:

I can honestly imagine Jihoon being your classmate while you’re an idol. He’d admire you from afar while you were with your close friends, he would feel jealous once someone else came over to talk to you about your popularity. He looked up to you greatly and quietly listened to your music both in his free time and, often times, during class. If he was feeling rather ambitious that day, he’d casually start talking to you about your music and your group members if the solo game wasn’t the the thing for you. “Ah, yeah, you know your friend, (group member name i literally can’t think of a name on the spot)?” He’d ask while trying his hardest not to freak out over the fact that he was talking to a celebrity, his idol, to be much more specific. “Yeah. What, do you like them? Wanna meet them someday?” You replied jokingly. He chortled at your statement, mainly because they weren’t the one he liked, but you were.

woojin:

Super big throwback to his cover of BoA’s Only One, there would be low quality footage of Woojin dancing to your song jokingly. Once that circulated around, he’d be an embarrassed mess thinking about how you could’ve been watching the video at that moment. Spoiler alert: you were, and you thought it was absolutely adorable. You even reposted it with the caption “thank you, my fans, for such great content” or some shit and Woojin would be bawling his eyes out like, “I’ve won, but at what cost?” (uh jokes aside,,,) He would upload a proper dance cover and blow literally everyone away, including you. His smooth dancing and his ability to hit every move with precision made you question yourself on your dancing skills. (ok but i’m sure you’d be a great dancer <33) When you reposted that cover of his, he would bawl again, but this time, he shed some happy tears instead. 

jinyoung:

From the looks of his Kyulkyung fanboy days, Jinyoung seems like someone who’d defend their idols to a certain extent. If he encounters a troll among your Instagram feed, he’d definitely call them out with a bit of insult, and it’d be brought to your attention. He probably also runs a fan account where he posts photos of you and captions them with cheesy love quotes; not to the point where it’s Seongwoo or Jaehwan-level shit posting, but a regular fanpage that posts fan taken photos as well as performances on music shows and, sometimes, fancams. He’d be thrilled to hear that you and/or your group were coming to his town, but once someone brought it up, he’d act all shy and deny any notions of wanting to meet you. However, on his breaks, he’d go and see you in person, his heart beating quickly when he saw you - all while being the shy boy he was. 

also, you’d probably be like, “aw, your head is so smoL I’M CRYIN” and he’d fall over tbh

daehwi:

Daehwi would be the type of fan who would have a fanpage for you, much like his best friend Jinyoung. He’d be the main source of all the girlfriend/boyfriend!(y/n) aus because he honestly thinks that those are the absolute cutest, and he’d make them just as fluffy as possible while trying his best to be accurate at the same time. If you were in a group, he would make compilations of basically anything you were known for, whether it be your evil maknae schemes or your lovely singing parts. If he ever went to a fan sign, he’d be a smiling the mess the whole time once it was his turn to meet you. “Ah, I was so excited to meet you,” he would tell you, his natural overflowing aegyo making you feel all bubbly inside as you have a nice casual conversation with him. You probably ended your meeting with a hug from him as you told him, “come to our next fanmeet,” and he probably melted into a pile of gush inside. 

guanlin:

Guanlin would be the quiet yet ambitious fan of yours. Much like Minhyun, he wouldn’t shove his love for you in everyone’s faces, but he���d be much more obvious with those close to him. “(y/n)’s really soft in this performance? Jihoon hyung, look at how wonderful (y/n)’s rapping is. Seonho, look, (y/n)’s just as cute as you are.” Every once in a while, he’d go and binge watch your funny videos, giving himself a huge laugh (which may or may not scare his hyungs). Just like any other of his idols, Guanlin looks up to you greatly. You inspired him to do better at his own talents, and if you were to ever find out about this, you’d be amazed on how fast his improvement rate was. Needless to say, he had a little celebrity crush on you for a lot of reasons, from your lovely personality to your fans to your charismatic presence on stage. 

peep euiwoong - i mean

hit my inbox up y’all!! and here is my masterlist!! + sorry if this was a bit shitty lol

[accio-transcript]

Mod R: Hello, welcome to the oneshot accio-shitpost podcast. I’m Mod R, otherwise known as Roxie, and my pronouns are she/her, thank you very much. And you are?

Mod H: And I’m Mod H, otherwise known as LH, and my pronouns are they/them.

Mod R: Um, so, we’re going to be asking some of your questions!

Mod H: We’re going to be answering some of their questions. We’ll also ask them!

Mod R: They’re fresh off the…question mill, being made by our lovely question workers, in the question mill.

Mod H: In the question mines.

Mod R: theshieldswordandcrown.tumblr.com says ‘If y’all’ – nice Texan shit there – [in bad American accent] ‘If y’all could go to any magical school, which one would it be? Doesn't have to be in the HP universe, either.’ So I don’t know about any other universes apart from the Harry Potter universe that has magical schools, apart from the Worst Witch, which I doubt you know about!

Mod H: Yeah, I’ve got an even more obscure one, but I’m not even gonna mention-

Mod R: Tell me, tell me.

Mod H: Okay, so, do you know Anthony Horowitz? The horror writer?

Mod R: Yes.

Mod H: Well he wrote a horror, erm, couple of horror books for kids about a magic school called Groosham Grange, where basically all of the kids were fucked up. But to actually answer the question, I guess it’d have to be Hogwarts.

Mod R: Hogwarts. Like, I wanna be, like, special, and think of another magical school-

Mod H: But honestly…

Mod R: Are there any other magical schools?

Mod H: No…

Mod R: Um…the Bureau of Balance.

Mod H: Good one.

Mod R: Um, do they teach? I guess they do, don’t they.

Mod H: I mean, Angus learned magic there.

Mod R: From Taako.

Mod H: So it’s like a magic school because of that.

Mod R: Yeah…the Bureau of Balance is from the McElroy brother and father’s The Adventure Zone.

Mod H: Which, check it out if you haven’t.

Mod R: Check it out. It’s good. You’ll like it.

Mod H: Check it out if you like magical fantasy stuff that starts out totally silly and ends up giving you emotions.

Mod H: Anonymous said, ‘Five questions for your 100k thingy. 1) how do you come up with your clever post ideas like how its not fair 2) um... 3) lemme think 4) I... 5) yeah, I’ve only got one question.. never mind.’

Mod R: Yeah, so this is, it reads as bad as it sounds.

Mod H: Yeah. Sorry, anon.

Mod R: No offense anon, I’m sure you’re lovely.

Mod H: But to actually answer your question…

Mod R: Um…

Mod H: Straight off the dome.

Mod R: Straight off the dome-piece. One hundred percent.

Mod H: There are two methods – one of them is ‘oh no I haven’t filled up the queue, um, um, let’s make a post about…lamp’.

Mod R: Yeah, yeah. Like sometimes if you look through the posts, um-

Mod H: You can totally see a thought process.

Mod R: Yeah yeah, so like there was one about a unicycle and a Segway straight after each other in the batch that just came out.

Mod H: Two about Godzilla, recently, as well. I had Godzilla on the brain.

Mod R: Yeah, yeah, sometimes we reorder them so it doesn’t look like…but it’s totally obvious. If it’s from within twenty four hours it’s probably from the same.

Mod H: The other method is that…when we phone call each other, we just brainstorm.

Mod R: Yeah yeah yeah, and here’s one, I’m not sure if you do this anymore, um, but, I certainly used to do this and whenever I make posts now it’s um, I go to the Harry Potter wiki.

Mod H: Yeah.

Mod R: And like, I haven’t done this for a while.

Mod H: I used to do that too, yeah.

Mod R: Because Cursed Child and we didn’t want any spoilers.

Mod H: Heh. I knew the spoilers. I’m trash.

Mod R: You knew the spoilers.

Mod H: You didn’t.

Mod R: And we just used to click ‘random page’, and whatever – okay, here’s the bad bit about this. There’s a page for every day of the year.

Mod H: Everything.

Mod R: Every day of the year in – like, you say ‘did anything happen on January 21st in the Harry Potter universe?’ You can look it up!

Mod H: I don’t know but we can check!

Mod R: We can check!

Mod H: The third method we use to make shitposts, of course, is asking someone else. Shoutout to Mod K, who gives me-

Mod R: Yeah, that’s fucking true.

Mod R: Okay. Next question is from anythingcanonwillbeshipped.tumblr.com, who appropriately asks, ‘Drarry, Scorbus, both, or neither??’ And-

Mod H: Well, there’s an obvious answer to this.

Mod R: There’s an obvious answer to this. Scorbus. One hundred percent Scorbus.

Mod H: Scorbus.

Mod R: Like, no offense to all you Drarry shippers, it’s – okay right, I’ve never been a Drarry shipper.

Mod H: Me neither.

Mod R: Despite – despite some of our posts.

Mod H: We have made jokes about it.

Mod R: I do think that Draco Malfoy might have had a crush on Harry for a while.

Mod H: It’s totally a viable thing, like it would be interesting to see a well-developed dynamic between them.

Mod R: Yeah, yeah. There’s some good fics out there about that, but I’m just not about them being in a relationship.

Mod H: Yeah, personally.

Mod R: Until at least they’re adults.

Mod H: Yeah.

Mod R: And by then, they’re both married. Which is fine, you can still ship them, but like –

Mod H: The Cursed Child versions of them, it’d be particularly interesting to see them together.

Mod R: Yeah. I was about to say, the closest I’ve ever come to shipping Drarry – and I did ship it a lil bit.

Mod H: A lil bit.

Mod R: Is when I watched the Cursed Child. And you, most people listening to it probably haven’t watched it.

Mod H: Yeah, uh, we’ve been quite lucky to have the privilege of seeing Cursed Child-

Mod R: Yeah, because we’re both local to London. Not, we’re not really, I mean you’re – you live very far away-

Mod H: You’re more local.

Mod R: I live kinda far away. daq – as in d-a-q – litterqueen.tumblr.com, no dashes, says ‘#accio100k firstly, congrats!!!’ Thank you!’ :D secondly, combine the color of the t-shirt you are wearing and the name of the last food you ate and WALLA, reveal your unique spell!’ Okay so…mine’s…blue and I last ate – I had pizza, so I’ve got blue pizza, blueizza.

Mod H: Bleetza.

Mod R: I’m gonna say blueizza, because I’m not a fucking scrub.

Mod H: My shirt’s dark blue, like I guess navy, yeah, so navy chips.

Mod R: Nips.

Mod H: Oh God. Nips!

Mod R: It’s nips.

Mod H: Okay. Anonymous asked ‘time is an illusion that man made up to understand the fourth dimension’.

Mod R: More of a statement than a – but this is something I like to talk about. I know a little bit about physics, I dropped physics in GCSE but I’ve still remained very interested in it, and I still read up on it, I’ve read a lot of books about physics…er, I know this sounds like I’m bigging myself up but I’m really not, I’m kinda trash.

Mod H: But you know a bit-

Mod R: People say a lot, time isn’t real, humans made up time. That’s strictly not true. Time is a measurable thing, and we made up the measurements for it, and we’re like ‘oh half past four’ – half past four is made up, that’s not real.

Mod H: Yeah.

Mod R: Time itself is a real dimension that plays into the universe. If time didn’t exist, nothing would happen. That’s how-that’s how it works. Time is just the way we describe things happening in an order.

Mod H: It’s sort of like time is a thing, but our measurements of time is an illusion.

Mod R: Yeah yeah, like people could say space is fake. That’s not true. One metre is fake, we made that up, but like space is definitely real and the distance between me and, like, the bed in front of me might be a metre, and that’s fake, but it’s still in front of me, like it still exists.

Mod H: Yeah. It’s still that distance away, no matter how much-

Mod R: Same for time. So thank you for giving me this. Time is an illusion that man made up, to understand the fourth dimension, is closer to the truth but not quite. Anonymous asks ‘How old are y’all’ [in fake American accent] ‘How old are y’all and what do you do. Are yoi students?’ There’s an upside down question mark there-

Mod H: We are Yuri on Ice students.

Mod R: We’re not.

Mod H: We’re not students or Yuri on Ice.

Mod R: It’s spelled y-o-i, it’s a typo apparently. Are you students? I’m…technically on a gap year I might go to uni in a year or so. You’re not a student anymore.

Mod H: I’m not a student anymore.

Mod R: You’re in the in-between place between getting a job and going to uni.

Mod H: Yeah. I am unemployed!

Mod R: I’m between coming out from education to either going to further education or a job, or both. So we’re both sorta floating right now.

Mod H: Yeah, we’re sort of in a transitional phase.

Mod R: Ha ha ha. donutmesswithme.tumblr.com-

Mod H: Good name.

Mod R: Good name. Says ‘How was your day?’ Eh, it was okay.

Mod H: You had a hot dog. It was a good day.

Mod R: Okay, yeah, I had a hot dog, that was good. Good day-a good day.

Mod H: Gourmet hot dog, good day.

Mod R: pantless-wonder.tumblr.com, shout out to you, says ‘Thoughts on My Immortal (the original fanfic, people behind it, web series, and unrelated YouTube videos claiming to be the authors)?’ So, first of all, the original fanfiction, I have not read the entire way though.

Mod H: I have read the entirety of it, ‘cos I went through a very bad Harry Potter fanfiction phase when I was younger.

Mod R: Do you believe-are you one who believes that it’s fake, that it’s a troll fic, or do you think it’s real?

Mod H: I believe it’s a particularly well-crafted troll fic.

Mod R: Really. I’m not sure? Okay, I think the biggest-okay, right, I was so sure that it was real because fanfiction used to definitely be like that, back when they used the word ‘lemon’, you know.

Mod H: Back in those days. I remember those days.

Mod R: It used to be like that! And I know kids who could’ve written that.

Mod H: I could’ve written that.

Mod R: Strange kids, yeah. What ticks off for me, and makes me think-and I’ve talked about this a lot of time, that it’s a troll fic-

Mod H: Yeah I think we’ve had this discussion.

Mod R: We’ve had this conversation a lot. Yeah. At one point, she accidentally calls Tom Riddle Tom Bombadil?

Mod H: Yeah, there’s no way-

Mod R: And here’s the thing, here’s the thing. Right. That’s not a typo, and autocorrect didn’t exist back then, okay. Tom Bombadil was a very minor character in the book The Lord of the Rings, not the movie, the books. Like, the fact that she would know such a character, like, implies-cos she said she didn’t even read the Harry Potter books and just watched the movies, she would not have read Lord of the Rings if she had not read Harry Potter.

Mod H: She would not know who Tom Bombadil-I mean, I think for me, like a lot of the language is ridiculous and over the top, and a lot of the supposed spelling errors are so-

Mod R: Like, okay, there’s a couple of thing that are like, could definitely be real but probably aren’t with the context of Tom Bombadil, like, such as, ‘I ate my Count Chocula with blood’.

Mod H: Yeah.

Mod R: And that’s the thing that like, some emo scene kid in 200-whatever would have said, but like I think that she was just very ahead of her time in terms of like staging a fic.

Mod H: Yeah, I mean, in a lot of ways My Immortal was very much the prototype on which all previous-all later trollfics even were based.

Mod R: Yeah.

Mod H: Like, it became…

Mod R: It’s like the proto-trollfic.

Mod H: Basically. And one thing that I really like in myself is how well they really characterised that behind-the-scenes narrative going on, with like the friend and writing the character based on their friend out and then back in.

Mod R: Yeah.

Mod H: And then when the fic got ‘hacked’, and suddenly everything was all preppy because some troll had hacked them on the internet. And the way the grammar broke down as well after the supposed proofreader stopped doing it.

Mod R: But of course you’d just like delete the prep fics, wouldn’t you, if you hacked it back.

Mod H: Yeah, you wouldn’t like keep it. I mean, the whole thing’s gone now. But there’s archives. You can find it.

Mod R: Yeah, you’ll find it. Webseries. Have you seen the webseries?

Mod H: I haven’t seen it. I know it exists, but-

Mod R: Being someone involved in webseries, hint hint nudge nudge, check out the Uncanny Upshurs on youtube.com, but erm I’ve watched that with the creator of the Uncanny Upshurs, well, the co-creator, with Ingrid Nixie Greep herself, and I very much enjoyed it.

Mod H: The legend.

Mod R: I haven’t seen season two, so don’t spoil that for me. But I really liked it! It was very bare bones special effects. What they did was, when they had a wand fight near the end of it, um, when they like cast a spell, they would do like star effects, like the shape of like a star, and it’d make like a crack noise, and it was really nice because it was like stylised. The, er, unrelated YouTube videos claiming to be authors…you’ve sent me one I haven’t watched.

Mod H: I, yeah, I found one.

Mod R: That claims to be.

Mod H: It wasn’t that, it was that…the girls behind it were supposedly called Willow and Tara, and there was something with two girls saying they, like, ‘New Years 2007, but I don’t know why you celebrate New Years cos we’re all gonna die anyway’. And the fact that they had the same names as the supposed authors of My Immortal was like…people were wondering whether those were the same people.

Mod R: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Mod H: As for people coming out later saying that they authored My Immortal-

Mod R: Unless JK Rowling comes out and says it, I’m not-

Mod H: Same.

Mod R: Until Jo says it.

Mod H: But like all of them are probably riding on the popularity of the fic.

Mod R: shitlordanakin.tumblr.com says ‘How did you feel the first time you saw a post of yours screenshotted on HP instagram accounts?’ We didn’t. We don’t use Instagram.

Mod H: No, neither of us actually do.

Mod R: And I’ve never seen any of our posts on Facebook. We’ve seen them on Buzzfeed?

Mod H: I’ve seen…I’ve seen a few of them on Facebook.

Mod R: I might have seen a couple now…

Mod H: Some of my friends linked me to them.

Mod R: But like, what happened usually is our friends that know about us send us screenshots before we see them. We’re fine with it, because, as long as they source us – usually, if we find someone who isn’t sourcing us we talk to them, and we’re like ‘hey, can you do that’, but like if they’re not sourcing us, we’ve made so many posts that we forget which ones are ours.

Mod H: And a couple of people have even come to us like ‘I want to set up an Instagram with and use your stuff, is that okay’ and like, it’s fine!

Mod R: And we talk to them, and we’re like, yeah, it’s cool. They had more followers than us then.

Mod H: That was good.

Mod R: But they weren’t just posting our stuff, so, it was original content as well. And Instagram, I think, is a whole different ballgame to tumblr.

Mod H: Yeah. I don’t understand it.

Mod R: Neither do I.

Mod H: lunaloveboook says-

Mod R: Aw, that’s a good-three ‘o’s, by the way.

Mod H: lunaloveboook. ‘For the podcast: 1)How did it started? 2) And I really loved when Something Big And Bad happened and you put all your efforts in reassuring people’

Mod R: So that’s one question and a statement, and-I’m gonna answer the question first, and then talk about the statement.

Mod H: Ok. Do you wanna tell this story, cos? You kinda instigated it.

Mod R: Yeah, so, I was just sending like bad Harry Potter jokes to LH.

Mod H: This happens sometimes.

Mod R: I remember walking from my school to Subway and back, to get a Subway-

Mod H: She was just sending me all these jokes, and I was replying with some.

Mod R: Yeah yeah, and we were like ‘we can make this into a blog’, and then we decided to post ten a day, we posted a few off the bat, made a tag – back then we tagged everything with ‘dank memes’ and stuff as well, so, to get to the target-

Mod H: We really didn’t know what we were doing.

Mod R: We didn’t know what we were talking-to try and get to the biggest audience.

Mod H: Yeah.

Mod R: Nowadays, since we don’t need any help with that, we just tag with the characters involved and hope there’s some fans looking through the tags maybe.

Mod H: Yeah. Cos I mean we tag the most obscure-and we tag like full names as well, that’s obviously not, like nobody’s gonna be-

Mod R: Like, if we make a post about Draco Malfoy, then somebody might-

Mod H: But like nobody’s going to be tracking Xenophilius Lovegood – or like not a lot of people. But like ones who aren’t usually referred to by their full name, like Pomona Sprout, we tag her as that.

Mod R: Oh fuck, I didn’t even know that was her name.

Mod H: There you go.

Mod R: ‘And I really loved when Something Big And Bad happened and you put all your efforts in reassuring people’

Mod H: Thank you!

Mod R: For those of you who don’t know, this is referring to the [cough]election last year.

Mod H: [cough]America.

Mod R: Yeah, um, of a country that we’re not – that I’ve been to, a bunch of times.

Mod H: I haven’t.

Mod R: You want to go there, because you want – I’ve actually been to the theme park.

Mod H: I wanna go to Disneyland.

Mod R: Which I am incredibly privileged to have been to. Thank you? I mean like, we felt like it just wasn’t the time for jokes, you know, instead we…what happened was, Donald Trump got elected, and we were like, this is a bit crass to post jokes today, because people are going-and people sent us messages like ‘you’re overreacting’ and maybe we were a bit, but, there are a lot of people who are genuinely afraid.

Mod H: And we basically had a conversation about it that morning and we said, we’re gonna keep posting regular content but we’re also just gonna say, you know, our askbox is open. And a few asks started trickling in so we started answering, and a whole lot of asks started trickling in.

Mod R: Because we answered hundreds that day.

Mod H: Yeah, I mean, I remember having to give up at one point because my hands were cramping because I’d been typing that hard?

Mod R: Yeah, and-like, I don’t wanna big myself up. We feel like what we did anybody in our shoes would have done. Like, this isn’t something that I feel proud of – I mean, I’m proud that I’m a good enough person to have done it-

Mod H: It’s not like a huge-

Mod R: I don’t wanna be, like, praised for it, you know, like anyone in our shoes would have done this. But thank you for the question.

Mod H: And thank you for the compliment.

Mod R: wizardingviolet asks-

Mod H: It’s a good question.

Mod R: ‘Do you ship any LGBT pairing or headcanon that isn't one of the "classics" ? (like Wolfstar, Drarry and’…how do you say ‘Deamus’? Day-mus?

Mod H: Dee-mus, I go for.

Mod R: Like, Dean and Seamus, Day-mus, Dee-mus…um-

Mod H: Well, there’s an obvious answer to this one, that we both have immediately.

Mod R: Luna Lovegood and Ginny Weasley.

Mod H: Luna and Ginny.

Mod R: Luna and Ginny!

Mod H: Luna and Ginny.

Mod R: Ginny and Luna!

Mod H: Linny-Linny.

Mod R: Guna?

Mod H: I just made that up by accident but that’s the ship name now! Other than that, probably-

Mod R: Headcanons though. I have a bunch of trans headcanons.

Mod H: Oh yeah, yeah.

Mod R: Like, I like to see Luna as a trans girl but that’s only because I relate to her a lot – I don’t like necessarily think there’s any evidence for that. Not that you need evidence to believe, but like there’s no other reason for me to believe that other than I really identify with her.

Mod H: That makes sense, though.

Mod R: But like we all do that. Neville’s bi, as far as I’m concerned.

Mod H: Oh my gosh, that’s really cute.

Mod R: Neville’s bi, and like he had a crush on Harry for the first three years.

Mod H: I’ve now decided that Neville’s in like a weird polyamorous relationship with Dean and Seamus.

Mod R: Someone said, ‘RONALD WEASLEY. HOW DARE YOU STEAL THAT CAR! YOUR FATHER IS NOW FACING AN INQUIRY AT WORK, AND IT IS ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT! IF YOU DO SO MUCH AS PUT ANOTHER TOE OUT OF LINE, YOU WILL BE SENT STRAIGHT. HOME Oh, and accio-shitpost, dear, congratulations on reaching 100k followers. Your father and I are so proud!’

Mod H: Thank you, Molly Weasley.

Mod R: Thank you, mam! Mam!

Mod H: We didn’t know that any-

Mod R: Does this mean that we’re in a relationship with Luna Lovegood, because I’m okay with that.

Mod H: We didn’t know that any fictional characters from the Harry Potter universe were following our blog, but like-

Mod R: Nice. It’s good to hear that my mother, Molly Weasley, is a real person.

Mod H: It’s good to hear from you guys!

Mod H: Okay. briarrosebydayaurorabynight asks 'What inspired you to start the shitposting? Besides Harry Potter obviously.'

Mod R: Um.

Mod H: Honestly?

Mod R: Memes.

Mod H: Yeah, we just sort of started.

Mod R: We’ve sort of answered when we started and what caused us to start, but like what inspires us? Like, just honestly those big other shitpost accounts. Like, I’m not sure if we knew about others at the time but um, like just-shower-thoughts is a famous one that everybody sees. Um. Anonymous says ‘Have any of you ever been in love?’

Mod H: NO.

Mod R: ‘Also one of you must be gay, so who is it?’ Ok so, why must one of us be gay, and also how did you know that?

Mod H: I mean, like every other post we make is about how Ginny and Luna should be together.

Mod R: That’s true. But like, you believe that and you’re not even gay.

Mod H: I mean. Full disclosure.

Mod R: You’re also not straight.

Mod H: I am super aromantic, so like…I think that lets them know which one of us is gay here.

Mod R: I’m…a lesbian.

Mod H: But erm. Speaking for me, I’ve never had the romos.

Mod R: No. Um, I’ve been in love multiple times.

Mod H: You’re a big old softie.

Mod R: Yeah. Uh, I have a-well, I’m polyamorous and I have just like a bunch of girlfriends. Just a bunch. I’ve been in love multiple times and it sure is a trip!

Mod H: Anonymous asked, ‘How do you keep your shit posts fresh and steaming and avoid posting stale ones?’

Mod R: We don’t.

Mod H: We really don’t.

Mod R: Is the answer, we just don’t.

Mod H: We’ve definitely, by this point, repeated ourselves a couple of times.

Mod R: Right ok, there’s definitely a post we’ve done at least three times, and that is ‘I can’t believe that the reward for beating the dragon in Goblet of Fire is a screaming egg’. We’ve done that one like three times!

Mod H: But erm, to actually answer the question, there are a few times that we like, go back and-because we think we’ve made this post before, and we find that we have made this exact same post before. Word-for-word.

Mod R: Also, um, usually.

Mod H: So that’s embarrassing.

Mod R: I’m not afraid to admit that it’s you usually making shitposts these days.

Mod H: Yeah.

Mod R: And I usually deal with like asks and stuff instead.

Mod H: I mean, we both do make shitposts, and we both do answer asks.

Mod R: Yeah.

Mod H: But like, primarily those are-

Mod R: Um, yeah, and what we often do it, I’ll look through the shitposts you make, and I’ll like edit them. You can-there was this one a long time ago that-

Mod H: Oh, that one’s a classic example of that happening.

Mod R: There was one that was like ‘Ron: You’re a girl right Hermione’ and Hermione was like ‘No, I’m a lizard Ronald’ and then LH had put like ‘she turned into a lizard and scuttled away’

Mod H: Yeah.

Mod R: And I was like, that’s like, there’s a funny gag in there but the way you put it-

Mod H: Yeah, and I posted that thinking ‘there’s something funnier in here but I just can’t unlock it’?

Mod R: Yeah, so before it posted, when it was in the queue, I edited it to say like ‘No Ronald I’m a Weasley [she meant lizard]’ and then ‘blinks sideways’. Like, because like that’s what lizards do, and that’s way funnier!

Mod H: Some of the posts come out of conversations we’ve had and I’ve worded them, that’s-

Mod R: Pretty much.

Mod H: There’s my counter-example. Like, you’ve come up with an idea when we’ve been talking-

Mod R: Like I often, we’re often just talking about Harry Potter, and then you’ll be like ‘oh shit that’s good’ and then type that down.

Mod H: Yeah, and I put it into words, and actually make it into a post, so-

Mod R: Yeah, it really is a teamwork thing.

Mod H: Yeah, it’s a team effort! Moreso than we think it is, sometimes, I think.

Mod R: whimsicalfangirlthings said, ‘How do you like your macaroni and cheese?’ Like, together.

Mod H: Cooked.

Mod R: Like, cooked.

Mod H: In a microwave, usually.

Mod R: Like, no offense whimsicalfangirlthings.tumblr.com, are there many ways to have macaroni and cheese?

Mod H: If there are, I don’t know them.

Mod R: Like, in my mouth, that’s where I like to have…I really like-Mac and cheese is maybe one of my favourite pastas. Anonymous asks, ‘How many apples does Draco eat a day?’ I don’t fucking know!

Mod H: What-what kind of?

Mod R: I know that’s a reference to like, the gif where he’s eating the apple.

Mod H: Yeah.

Mod R: I don’t know! What does that mean, like-ok, I. Here’s, you want a funny answer? Sixty nine. There you go. Jesus Christ.

Mod H: Is that a funny answer?

Mod R: ig-ign…

Mod H: ignativs-weasley, that’s Ignatius spelled with a v instead of a u, dash Weasley-

Mod R: .tumblr.com

Mod H: Says ‘Hey! Ignativs here. I was wondering, why 1965? Your bio, I mean? Thanks. #accio100k’

Mod R: Um.

Mod H: This is-this is a long-held secret. It’s not really a secret!

Mod R: Nah, people have worked it out before.

Mod H: Many people have worked it out.

Mod R: People have asked us this, people have sent in ‘oh, I get it’, um, it’s when JK Rowling was born. Which is a bit-a bit of a nod, just to like say actually, actually we’re JK Rowling. Which is not true, we’re not actually.

Mod H: We’re-we’re not.

Mod R: ‘Which Harry Potter character(s) would you most like to have a slumber party with?’

Mod H: I mean, I think it’d be really fun to have a slumber party with Dumbledore?

Mod R: Yes, my man!

Mod H: But that would go places.

Mod R: That’d go places.

Mod H: That’d go weird places, and probably end up in death.

Mod R: The places it’d go would be like, like Voldemort Cave.

Mod H: But uh, I wouldn’t like to have a slumber party with but I’d like to have a drink with Aberforth. That’d be quite fun.

Mod R: Well no ‘cos-he’d end up fucking a goat at the slumber party. I always said Ah-ber-forth, by the way.

Mod H: Ah-ber-forth, Ay-ber-forth, I go back and forth. Eyyyyyyy.

Mod R: Eyyyyyyyy. Um, Slughorn, by the way.

Mod H: Slughorn! Slughorn-

Mod R: Because like, he does such good midnight parties!

Mod H: Let’s just have a professor party! Snape leaves, get McGonagall in here-

Mod R: Snape’s dead.

Mod H: Yeah, Snape’s dead, get McGonagall in here-

Mod R: No, I’m too scared of McGonagall.

Mod H: Ah, I think-

Mod R: I’m too scared and sexually intimidated by Minerva McGonagall.

Mod H: Ok, fair, fair. Flitwick! Flitwick would be a riot.

Mod R: Luna, by the way.

Mod H: Luna, yeah.

Mod R: And the Weasley twins.

Mod H: The Weasleys. Just all of them.

Mod R: All of them…apart from Percy, that wanker.

Mod H: I didn’t-what’s a Percy?

Mod R: Yeah, who’s Percy?

Mod H: Apologies to all Per-

Mod R: [gasp] Arthur Weasley! Because we’re Muggles, he’d love-

Mod H: That’d be really cute!

Mod R: [high voice] ‘What the fuck’s a lightbulb?’

Mod H: Let’s have a slumber party with Dobby.

Mod R: No, that’d be shit. Have you seen the one time Harry’s been asleep, and Dobby’s been there? It was Chamber of Secrets, and it was awful.

Mod H. nuevojesus-blog said, ‘What is your favourite HP book and film?’

Mod R: You go yours, I’m not sure about mine.

Mod H: Mine would be Order of the Phoenix for book, and Prisoner of Azkaban for film.

Mod R: Prisoner of Azkaban definitely for film, um, despite the fact that it misses out some of the important details, it’s definitely one of the better directed in my opinion.

Mod H: Well, I think it was definitely the last one before the books were getting far too long to adapt.

Mod R: Yeah. No offense, but the first three movies are the best.

Mod H: Yeah, the first-well, I mean, it’s-they’re different types of movies.

Mod R: And the last two are both far too long and too short, simultaneously.

Mod H: Yeah, I get what you mean by that.

Mod R: Like they put in too much stuff that they don’t need in, and they keep out too much stuff that they do need in, like a proper goodbye to the Dursleys wasn’t in. But Harry and Hermione dancing while Ron fucked off was in there.

Mod H: Yeah, like, they really left out some things that they should have had in and put in a lot of things that weren’t necessary?

Mod R: Which might be to do with the way that-I feel like the directors changed over?

Mod H: The directors did change from the first three to-

Mod R: Really. ordinarylittleme.tumblr.com asked ‘Who are you guys, also what made you decide to make this blog?’ So we’ve also sort of answered one of these, so, ‘who are you guys’, we’ve also again sort of answered. ‘What made you decide to make this blog?’ Um, for once, I had one of my wild ideas. The relationship that we have is very much-you’ll be asleep at like, to be fair at like eleven pm, okay? I used to phone LH up in the middle of the night saying ‘I’ve got this brilliant idea!’ And then every time, of course, they’d be like ‘no, that’s an awful idea.’

Mod H: To be fair, you haven’t heard some of the ideas!

Mod R: Yeah, they’re pretty bad. But this time, I was like ‘you know those jokes that we’ve been sending each other today, the Harry Potter jokes, why don’t we do a blog? Like, we could get popular!’

Mod H: And I, of course, being the practical one, I was like ‘no, that’s a terrible idea, we should never do that’

Mod R: I don’t think you were like that though, I feel like for most of the things you were like ‘uuuuh maybe’. But I think for this one you were like ‘actually, that sounds like a cool idea!’

Mod H: Well, I’m always more reluctant about a lot of these things.

Mod R: Yeah, that’s true.

Mod H: Like, I’ll admit that. Then, we just sort of did it. Like, we saved the url, after a little bit of haggling over what exactly that would be – I think whatever is our blog description, I think ‘Mischief managed’, mischief something, I can’t remember what it is, like that was gonna be the url for a bit, but then we decided on accio-shitpost, which was a good move.

Mod R: Right.

Mod H: Shitpost managed, that was what-that was what we were gonna-

Mod R: It was gonna be that for a while.

Mod H: I think that was my suggestion, and yours was accio-shitpost, and we went with accio-shitpost. So we compromised on that, and I think that was the better idea. Then, you know, we spent about a day setting up the theme.

Mod R: Yeah.

Mod H: And then we made it live! We just went for it! And the rest, as they say, is history.

Mod R: drearncatcher37.tumblr.com, that’s ‘dreamcatcher’ with an rn as people often do-

Mod H: So it’s like drearncatcher, technically.

Mod R: Yeah, says, ‘I have a question for the podcast. Why.’

Mod H: Good question.

Mod R: Yeah, yeah, that’s a good question.

Mod H: Good question.

Mod R: Because we’ve got nothing better to do, and we-okay, that’s a lie, we have so many things better to do, we honestly do. Anonymous said, ‘(You're my favorite blog)’ in brackets, thank-

Mod H: Thank you.

Mod R: sciencekilledmypurrmaids.tumblr.com said-

Mod H: ‘CHEESE?’

Mod R: Cheese. Um, I wanna interpret this as ‘What’s your favourite cheese?’, so – what’s your favourite cheese?

Mod H: I don’t-I don’t have a favourite cheese, I’m not a cheese connoisseur-

Mod R: I like all cheeses.

Mod H: I mostly just have cheddar cheese.

Mod R: Yeah, I mostly just have cheddar cheese.

Mod H: Or like Lancashire cheeses.

Mod R: Oh, yeah, ‘cos you’re from Lanc!

Mod H: I’m from Lancs.

Mod R: You’re a Lancer.

Mod H: That’s not-that’s not what we call it. Also fun fact! Lancashire/Yorkshire is where Neville Longbottom is supposed to be from.

Mod R: Really?

Mod H: Yeah, cos-

Mod R: He’s got-he’s got a northern accent in the movie, doesn’t he?

Mod H: In his hilariously abusive childhood, as well, he mentions getting dropped off Blackpool Pier, so-

Mod R: And of course…Harry mentions…train stations that I’ve been to.

Mod H: I still think that’s so ridiculously redundant, having to go all the way down to King’s Cross and then all the way back up to Scotland.

Mod R: Yeah, like-why don’t you just fucking Floo Powder it, you know?

Mod H: What if you already live in Scotland?

Mod R: Yeah, what does Minerva do?

Mod H: I mean, I assume Minerva just kind of stays there.

Mod R: Yeah.

Mod H: Although I think that is at least partially based on the childhood assumptions that teachers live at school. But in Hogwarts’ case it might actually be true! Anonymous asks, ‘'Tbh I legit expected you guys to be a shitpost account where literally nothing makes sense and it's the most ridiculous thing ever but half the things you post make Sense and ????'

Mod R: Yeah, um-the reason behind this is that anybody – and people have literally made robots to do this – can be like ‘the Marauders Map but it has a big dick’, and like-

Mod H: And we do make posts sometimes like that, that’re just like words and nonsense, but-

Mod R: But like, it loses its charm pretty quickly.

Mod H: Yeah, I-I think part of the reason we’ve had as much staying power as we’ve had is because we don’t actually make-

Mod R: We’re not actually shitposts.

Mod H: We make jokes, we make observations, like some of our posts…

Mod R: It’s observational humour.

Mod H: But some of our posts are just like, things we wanna talk about.

Mod R: What if Dobby had a big dick, you know.

Mod H: And sadposts. I-I do get a lot of joy out of making sadposts, I think most if not all of them have been mine.

Mod R: Yeah, we drain the happiness out of people.

Mod H: I-I enjoy this. I enjoy your suffering. I’m sorry.

Mod R: fangirlsneedmorebooks.tumblr.com says, 'What would you do if you were confronted by a hippogriff/dragon combo?' Poo myself.

Mod H: Probably die.

Mod R: Yeah, like, die. I’m not a wizard, I’m a muggle.

Mod H: Probably get killed by it.

Mod R: Yeah, I would die. fictionale934.tumblr.com said, 'When did you start this blog?'

Mod H: July the 6th.

Mod R: We started with my first post, ‘I name you after the two bravest men who tried to eat me, Aragog Student Loans’

Mod H: That’s still-I’m so glad we picked that one for the first one.

Mod R: And then your first one, which is my favourite one of yours ever.

Mod H: ‘Ah yes. Werewolf Werewolf and his boyfriend, Dog.’

Mod R: 'Other than this blog, what's the biggest way HP has impacted you all?', asks ronweasleywrites.tumblr.com.

Mod H: That’s an interesting question, actually.

Mod R: And also I’m gonna-I’m gonna have a bit of a segue here, people seem to think a lot of people run this blog?

Mod H: Yeah! They seem to think either there’s a lot of people-

Mod R: There’s two and a half.

Mod H: Or like one person. There’s two of us, who are the main-Mod K, who is a friend of mine, who I know in real life, and Roxie only knows from the internet-you’ve met, you’ve met once.

Mod R: The moniker ‘Mod K’ has always pissed me off, because we chose Mod R and Mod H because H and R-so like my first name begins with R, Roxie, and your last name which we’re not gonna say begins with H.

Mod H: Yeah.

Mod R: And also I’m in Ravenclaw, you’re in Hufflepuff. There isn’t a house that begins with a K!

Mod H: I think-that’s, that’s part of the rationale, though, because she’s not a main mod, she doesn’t get a main mod name.

Mod R: That’s true.

Mod H: She’s also a Slytherin, fyi.

Mod R: Is she?

Mod H: Yeah.

Mod R: Well, that makes sense.

Mod H: But um, what’s the biggest way HP has impacted us?

Mod R: Um.

Mod H: You have a good one for this, so I’ll let you go first.

Mod R: So, um, I’m autistic, a lot of you know this. I’m very very involved with autism advocacy and autism rights. I never really found many characters to relate to as a child? And, upon rereading Order of the Phoenix for the first time as an adult-because usually I just read my favourite ones, and Order of the Phoenix isn’t really my favourite book, and it’s quite long, and I’ve got a really bad attention span, so I never get through it. But this one time, I was reading it, and I got to the bit where Luna was first introduced, and just the way she was described was very similar to my experiences as an autistic teenage girl, and I just started crying and crying because for the first time I’ve seen a character who was like me. And I’ve met other people who’ve said the exact same thing about when they saw Luna in Harry Potter. And I think that’s the way it’s impacted me the most apart from, like, my wallet.

Mod H: Yeah.

Mod R: Like, I’ve bought a lot of Harry Potter merch.

Mod H: For me, I think, one of the biggest ways Harry Potter impacted me was-when I first came to secondary school…because I am a very nerdy, introverted person, I don’t really-I’m not good at like talking to people and making friends and stuff, and…I can’t remember exactly how it happened, but it definitely helped me bond with Megan. I’ve been friends with her for like ten years plus, now, and that was one of the things that we definitely built our friendship on, being a couple of dorks who really liked Harry Potter a lot, so like that’s a nice thing it’s done for me. sadie-bug82, that’s sadie dash bug 82, asks ‘What’s your favourite book and how many times have you read it?’

Mod R: Fuck if I know.

Mod H: I mean, is this like Harry Potter book?

Mod R: I don’t think it’s Harry Potter book.

Mod H: Or book forever?

Mod R: I’ve definitely listened to – because again, I’ve got a bad attention span – I’ve definitely listened to the audiobook of Philosopher’s Stone, which isn’t my favourite book, like a dozen times maybe. And my favourite book would probably be Prisoner of Azkaban, which I’ve listened to maybe five or six separate times.

Mod H: What about your favourite non-HP book?

Mod R: Fuck if I know, though. I really like Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, but I haven’t read that in years.

Mod H: I mean, for me, as I’ve already said, Order of the Phoenix is my favourite Harry Potter book. My favourite non-Harry Potter book?

Mod R: The Book Thief.

Mod H: The Book Thief, by Markus Zusak.

Mod R: I knew that one!

Mod H: We talked about it the other day. If you have the time, and access to a copy-

Mod R: Don’t watch the movie.

Mod H: Don’t watch the movie. The movie’s not a good adaptation. Go read the book, because it’s amazing and it changed my life, I swear to God.

Mod R: ‘I have so many questions’ says – what, what?

Mod H: takes-one-to-no-one-cares, with dashes between each word.

Mod R: Ah, right. I get it, I get it. Takes one to no one cares, that’s clever. 'I have so many questions! I'd love to know how y'all’ [in American accent] ‘I’d love to know how y’all met! J’

Mod H: How-how did we meet?

Mod R: Um…

Mod H: Let’s…

Mod R: We’re actually at the place we met.

Mod H: Yeah, this is…

Mod R: Four year anniversary.

Mod H: Four year anniversary, high five.

[High five noise.]

Mod H: We met…in this place, and for those of you who are-

Mod R: I don’t really wanna say what it is, because it’s like a bit personal.

Mod H: Yeah, but for those of you who are not listening in at the window right now, it’s like an event that we went to a couple of times.

Mod R: Yeah, it’s like-it’s not like a convention or anything, it’s nothing embarrassing, it’s just a bit personal.

Mod H: Yeah, we’d just rather not go into it.

Mod R: We met, because, um, a girl who I’d met the year before, who I was in a relationship with for a year, she’d just broken up with me, because she didn’t feel it was right, and I was like ‘yeah that’s fair’, but I was still very sad about it, you know, and I saw somebody with a Homestuck t-shirt across the room.

Mod H: And that person…was Albert Einstein. Funnily enough that was actually the second time that had happened within like ten minutes, cos – this is the way I tell the story – I was just kinda hanging round waiting for the thing we were at to start and two girls came over to me like ‘hey, I like your t-shirt’, you know, ‘is that a Homestuck thing?’ and we got chatting, and that wasn’t Roxie, and then another couple came along and that was Roxie, and we have been talking ever since, basically.

Mod R: We had a pun-off.

Mod H: We had a pun-off, that cemented our relationship. I have a vivid memory of sitting in a restaurant with my family, texting you bad puns under the table.

Mod R: 'Hope I'm not being annoying & clogging up your asks' You're not, anonymous. 'But what are your opinions on the drama of OoTP with Molly and Sirius duking it out on 'Who is the Less Problematic Replacement Parent for Harry?' Got those receipts. ‘I'm personally on Team Molly Needs To Chill, but my friends are on Team Sirius Is Literally A Criminal Who Thinks Harry Is James.' Okay so, the criminal bit isn’t so bad because, by definition, Molly is also a criminal.

Mod H: Also like Sirius was imprisoned for a crime he literally did not commit, like we know this as a fact.

Mod R: Molly is married to somebody who was infiltrating the government. That’s a fact. And she has children who are infiltrating the government-

Mod H: She was also, herself, involved in a resistance movement against the government, like, they’re criminals the same.

Mod R: And like even before Deathly Hallows this is the case.

Mod H: Yeah, yeah.

Mod R: But the issue is Sirius does think Harry is James. The problem with their relationship is both Harry and Sirius are using each other as a replacement for James.

Mod H: Yeah, absolutely. And like in that situation, Sirius cannot encourage Harry to be like James. Sirius shouldn’t encourage Harry to be reckless, because he in some-because he is in some genuinely dangerous situations.

Mod R: And don’t get me wrong-not only, when we’re saying James we don’t just mean Dad James, as a replacement for Dad James, we mean as a replacement of the cool lad James that Harry would have wanted to be friends with.

Mod H: Because like-

Mod R: However, right, Harry is using Molly as a replacement for Lily, or James, like gender doesn’t matter I guess-

Mod H: Generally parents.

Mod R: Here’s the thing – Molly isn’t using Harry as a replacement for a dead child or Percy or anything, even though Percy does leave, she’s just a mum, and she feels-she has a profound motherhood for Harry.

Mod H: I mean, I think my personal opinion lies somewhere between the two because like-

Mod R: Oh sure.

Mod H: All of the things we’ve said, but in the context of that specific scene, Molly was withholding information from Harry that was relevant to him, and it’s not like that’s ever been a problem in Harry’s past before, am I right?

Mod R: And Molly’s done some shitty things before to Hermione, in er Goblet of Fire-

Mod H: Personally I really like that scene, just for showing like the depth of Molly.

Mod R: Everyone sins, yeah, she’s a very deeply written character.

Mod H: None of these people are perfect, like her heart’s in the right place, she’s just sometimes overprotective.

Mod R: And same for Sirius! But-

Mod H: The other way.

Mod R: Even that, but-he’s missing out on this context of Harry’s life, and Molly said this, like this obviously isn’t Sirius’ fault but, and the ways she said it kind of implied that it was, but Molly saw the later years of Harry’s life. Sirius was introduced very late into Harry’s life.

Mod H: Sirius has known Harry for two years at this point, Molly’s known him since basically the start of when we first see him, at age 11.

Mod R: Like, as far as the wizarding world is concerned, yeah.

Mod H: And that does make a difference, and that’s not Sirius’ fault obviously.

Mod R: And of course Sirius has technically known Harry longer, but it’s not the same.

Mod H: I also think the problem, as well, is that Sirius is still in that mindset he was in when he was like twenty one. Because he’s lost all of these years to Azkaban and he basically comes out and there’s James 2.0. So naturally he goes back to the way he was acting.

Mod R: Like he comes out and there’s this kid who looks exactly like the boy who died, his best friend who died, and probably the man he loved who died. Give me that story instead of Snape loving Lily, by the way, give me that!

Mod H: JK Rowling! But yeah.

Mod R: Yeah.

Mod H: But thanks for that question, anon, because that was really interesting to talk about.

Mod R: Now, here’s a question responding to one of our posts, anonymous asked, ‘But was there anything specifically saying Voldemort /wasn't/ wearing a party hat?’ Uh…

Mod H: Technically no.

Mod R: There probably is actually.

Mod H: Yeah. ‘The light glimmered off his shiny bald head’.

Mod R: Yeah, exactly, lines like that, and also he can’t wear it under Quirrell’s turban.

Mod H: Oh. What if Quirrell was wearing a party hat, like at Christmas?

Mod R: Well it wouldn’t be a party hat, it’d be a Christmas hat.

Mod H: Okay. Like, Dumbledore’s birthday party-

Mod R: Also, bringing in some very very-

Mod H: Oh, here we go.

Mod R: Minute lore of Harry Potter – they don’t have Christmas cracker crowns in the wizarding world-

Mod H: That’s true, that’s true.

Mod R: They have regular hats that come out of crackers. And actual mice and stuff, and explosions.

Mod H: But they could’ve-I really wish they’d brought that in the movies, to be honest.

Mod R: Oh, fuuuuuuuck.

Mod H: That scene would’ve been so good.

Mod R: So goooood! antifacistmutsuki says, 'what are yall hogwarts and ilvermorny houses and wands' Hogwarts are Ravenclaw.

Mod H: And Hufflepuff.

Mod R: And Ilvermorny, fuck off I don’t care.

Mod H: I remember I got the Hufflepuff of Ilvermorny.

Mod R: I was like-I was really interested and then I saw the name and was like, I don’t care anymore. Thunderbird, that’s what I remember.

Mod H: I can’t remember my wand. I think mine was laurel?

Mod R: kimpossibleandme said 'Can I become a mod on here?' No. Sorry. We don’t take admissions. We don’t take submissions-we don’t even take submissions, you can’t be a moderator.

Mod H: We’ve made it a policy from the start that we only post posts that we make ourselves, or sometimes that our close personal friends do. It’s not really-it’s not anything against you.

Mod R: And when we say close personal friends, we’re not even saying favouritism, it’s like someone’s come up to us and said ‘hey, here’s a thing’ and then we’re like ‘can I use that as a shitpost’.

Mod H: Yeah, often that is the case, or like we’re talking about it or something like that.

Mod R: So no, you can’t be a mod on here. Sorry. Uh. Anonymous said, ‘I like my gilrs’ not girls, gilrs ‘how I like my Dumbledore. Headmasters.' Okay! Let’s leave.

Mod H: Let’s leave.

Mod R: I didn’t need to know that. Um, ihazgiantcheezburga.tumblr.com, that’s haz with a z, cheez c-h-e-e-z, b-u-r-g-a, ‘Draco Malfoy was a Mary Sue.’ No he wasn’t.

Mod H: No, not really.

Mod R: That’s like, done.

Mod H: Not at all, actually.

Mod R: Here’s your Harry Potter advice segment! ‘Draco Malfoy was a Mary Sue’ No, he wasn’t.

Mod H: No.

Mod R: He had many character flaws. He was incredibly rich…Harry Potter was a Mary Sue, absolutely.

Mod H: I mean, the concept of a Mary Sue-

Mod R: Is bullshit, it was just misogyny, wasn’t it. It was just, here’s a female character that I don’t like because she’s got so many-

Mod H: Well, no.

Mod R: People say that about Rey from Star Wars, and what they mean is that she’s as good at the Force as Luke was.

Mod H: The-the original meaning of Mary Sue though was a fanfic character who was impossibly perfect and probably dating Captain Kirk, or whatever.

Mod R: Me too.

Mod H: And that slowly just sort of became a character who I think is too perfect regardless fo anything-

Mod R: Well, Harry is a bit too perfect, he’s got a lot of character-

Mod H: He’s got a lot of flaws, like-

Mod R: He’s got a lot of those things that people in fanfics give them, like you don’t even need to give Harry an immense fortune for your, like, Bastard King fic, because he’s already got that, you know, he’s already got-

Mod H: Where he’s a secret Pureblood king, well…

Mod R: pixycaterino says, ‘Have y’all’ [bad American accent] ‘Have yall ever cosplayed? oh anD WHAT ARE YOUR WANDS’ We can’t do the wands one. I don’t know!

Mod H: We…yeah.

Mod R: Like, everyone’s like ‘what are your wands’, it’s not a question like ‘what’s your MBTI type’ or ‘what house are you in’.

Mod H: ‘What sign are you.’

Mod R: Or like ‘What’s your God Tier’ in Homestuck, or like what Pokemon Go team you’re on. It’s not like that, it’s like what piece of fucking wood do you use to cast magic, oh wait you don’t because you’re not a fucking wizard and you don’t have one of those. Like, Houses are sorted into-like, I’m sorry, I’m really sorry to whoever asked this, I’m not angry at you, I promise. But like people ask this question, and I don’t get it because there isn’t any like basis – there might be, like, subtext but there is no basis like personality and intellectual traits on what kind of wand you get. There isn’t houses-so like, if you’re very loyal, chances are you’re a Hufflepuff, if you’re very friendly, you’re loyal, you stick true to your friends, you’re probably a Hufflepuff.

Mod H: Yeah.

Mod R: If you’re very brave, you’re courageous, you like justice a lot then you’re probably a Gryffindor. If you think things through, and you might not be smart but you’re like, you spend a lot of time thinking about things-

Mod H: Not like intellectual but you’re like wise, logical.

Mod R: Yeah, like you think things through, or you place a lot of emphasis on waiting things out then you’re probably a Ravenclaw, and if you’re ambitious, and like maybe you put the team before the person, then maybe you’re a Slytherin, you know.

Mod H: Yeah.

Mod R: But for wands it’s just like ‘oh like I’m good at Transfiguration’.

Mod H: Like me and my friend both did the wand test, and we got almost identical results because we’re about the same height, age…

Mod R: Yeah, exactly.

Mod H: Physical appearance…it is pretty much a randomly generated thing, it’s not like deeply based. Like you could argue that the Hogwarts house quiz is based on actual stuff, but-

Mod R: I’m sure there’s some subtext to what wands characters get, like red wood means something in-

Mod H: Well are in characters, but the thing is like if you use the Pottermore-

Mod R: In the movies, in the movies, Dumbledore-uh, Voldemort’s looks like its bone. And of course that’s because he’s a deadly character, he’s very spooky, but like I don’t have that, I’m not an important character in the Harry Potter universe.

Mod H: Yeah, that’s the movie characters.

Mod R: I don’t have an arc.

Mod H: Like, the Pottermore wand test is just-

Mod R: How tall are you, what hand do you use, how many fingers do you have on your right foot.

Mod H: What?

Mod R: Yeah.

Mod H: As to the other, ‘have y’all ever cosplayed’…

Mod R: Yeah.

Mod H: Yes. We have.

Mod R: I’ve cosplayed as…I mean, I wore Ravenclaw robes last time I went to a convention. Other than that, I’ve cosplayed Chell from Portal, Roxie Lalonde…who have you cosplayed?

Mod H: I’ve cosplayed Jane Crocker from Homestuck.

Mod R: That was by accident, wasn’t it?

Mod H: No, I did it deliberately once. Booker DeWitt from Bioshock-

Mod R: That was good.

Mod H: And Doctor Linksano from Atop the Fourth Wall, which-

Mod R: Yeah, well that’s awful, that’s awful.

Mod H: For anyone in our audience who knows what that is…

Mod R: Hit me up.

Mod H: Hit me up. Cos, guys. Guys.

Mod R: brighterthantherain said 'I'd love to see some the MBTI types as x posts' Well, here’s the thing. No?

Mod H: No.

Mod R: Like, I’m sorry, we don’t mean to be rude.

Mod H: That takes a lot of work, that’s the only thing as well.

Mod R: If we sound rude, we’re just trying to be funny, and honestly we’re sorry if we offend people. Um, but like, it takes a lot of work-I don’t really understand all of the MTBI types.

Mod H: No.

Mod R: And also people are more likely to call you out for that kind of thing?

Mod H: Yeah.

Mod R: People will be like ‘oh you don’t understand the MBTI things’ like no I don’t! I didn’t major in Psychology!

Mod H: Like, that would take a lot of time and effort and dedication just for one post, which we don’t currently have, or-and we definitely don’t have the motivation to do all that research.

Mod R: ‘Surprise beautiful person!’ says anonymous. ‘Once you get this, you must put it into at least 8 people’s asks (anonymously) who deserve it. If you break the chain, nothing bad will happen, but it’s nice to know that someone thinks you’re beautiful inside and out. Help spread anon love, not hate! Love you. <3’ Thank you! We appreciate these-we never pass them on.

Mod H: We don’t pass them on.

Mod R: I never pass on these.

Mod H: Yeah, my days of passing on stuff like this are long gone.

Mod R: I’ve never done them.

Mod H: I did a while back.

Mod R: Nuh uh. Um, this is an interesting question, anonymous said – and they’re asking this as if we’re some like, we’re the figurehead of Harry Potter, which is really nice.

Mod H: Like we have any say in it.

Mod R: We’re JK Rowling. Anonymous said, ‘Idk if you can answer this but, can exist a three headed dog's patronus?’ Yes, probably.

Mod H: Probably.

Mod R: Somebody-I read on the wiki somewhere that somebody I know historically had a giant as their patronus.

Mod H: Yeah.

Mod R: So like, a three headed dog isn’t that unlikely. Like, wolves can be. A werewolf can be.

Mod H: Like, a three headed dog is a creature in the Harry Potter universe.

Mod R: Anonymous said, ‘are you a feminist?’ Actually, I hate women. I fucking hate them. No, we’re feminists, yeah.

Mod H: Yeah, I-I think we’d identify that way.

Mod R: Pretty much. If anything I wouldn’t want-the only reason I wouldn’t want to identify as the label ‘feminist’ is because we have some views so far left wing that even feminists often disagree with them. And that’s a particular thing, like because I’m a trans woman, there’s a whole huge sect of feminists – and I’m not generalising – there is a huge group of feminists who exclude trans women called trans exclusionary feminists, there’s a bunch of transmisogynistic feminists who think trans women don’t deserve a place in feminism or anywhere belonging to women. Which is one of the only reasons we wouldn’t want to label ourselves feminists. But if someone was like ‘oh feminism’s about this, like, only these kind of people can be feminists’, I’d be like, ‘I’m a feminist and that’s wrong.’ Like I use that label sparingly, but when I need it. And I don’t not use it because I’m embarrassed, because I tote my beliefs strongly.

Mod H: Yeah.

Mod R: freaki, with an I as in f-r-e-a-k-i, freakithechaos said ‘uh.. hello! *waves awkwardly*’ That’s cute. ‘uhm.. I'm not sure if this was discussed already but, why doesn't Umbridge love McGonagall? I mean, Umbridge LOVES cats and McGonagall's animagus is a cat ... so she basically IS a cat, isn't she? o.o’

Mod H: I mean, that’s not quite how that works.

Mod R: That’s not really how that works.

Mod H: I mean, cos Umbridge represents all McGonagall hates-

Mod R: Because Umbridge isn’t just a furry!

Mod H: And vice versa.

Mod R: McGonagall’s meant to be Umbridge’s foil, she was portrayed as that.

Mod H: Or, well, the other way round, because Umbridge was introduced later, but you know.

Mod R: Well, like, I mean, as the villain.

Mod H: Yeah, I know what you mean.

Mod R: Like, Dumbledore is not Umbridge’s foil – I think narratively, that’s one of the reasons they get Dumbledore out of the picture?

Mod H: Umbridge is basically evil mirrorverse McGonagall, like-

Mod R: Yeah, yeah.

Mod H: McGonagall gone completely wrong.

Mod R: And this is literally true in the Cursed Child, like, Cursed Child spoilers coming up here.

Mod H: That is quite interesting.

Mod R: In Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, Minerva McGonagall is the headmistress of Hogwarts, but in – again, spoilers coming up so like skip forward – but in the alternate universe, Umbridge is the headmistress, and she is, like, she has very little regard for but great interest in Scorpius, whilst the opposite is true for McGonagall, where she actually goes out of her way to not be interested in order to maintain Albus and Scorpius’ relationship, mainly because she’s seen generations of Potters falling in love and not getting their way. Um, anonymous said, ‘I always see yall’ [American accent] ‘using ur powers of being a popular blog with lots of followers’ I always do that with y’all, by the way, I’m not just doing that for a random reason, ‘and high visibility for good. thanks A+ keep up the good work’

Mod H: Thank you!

Mod R: Thank you, we really appreciate it.

Mod H: We were a bit iffy at first, about like starting to post more politics and signal boosts and donations and stuff, initially at least, but we basically decided that we’ve got a lot of followers, we can’t really not. We’ve got an obligation to, in this political climate.

Mod R: Another thing is – we get a lot of questions like this a lot, and we don’t answer them, and it’s not because we don’t like them. We love them.

Mod H: Yeah. They fuel us!

Mod R: Yeah. One, we don’t want to tote how great people we are. It’s quite narcissistic to be like-cos we get plenty of people who are like ‘fuck you’ as well.

Mod H: Yeah.

Mod R: Like, it’s not often, but there are people, but like whatever, you’re you, I don’t care. But like one, we don’t want to clog it up with that. Two, we want to keep relatively interesting asks being put out, compared to like ‘ah you’re great!’ ‘ah you’re great!’, again which is a bit narcissistic.

Mod H: Usually, the asks we answer are like admin-related, like we’re introducing a new tag or whatever, or interesting questions, or occasionally like funny things that pique our interest.

Mod R: Yeah, and um the third reason is, um, we like looking at them!

Mod H: Yeah!

Mod R: Like, our inbox doesn’t fill that fast, we don’t get dozens of asks a day, we get a couple-

Mod H: We get a fair amount a week, I’d say.

Mod R: We get five a week at least.

Mod H: Yeah, about that, on average.

Mod R: But-but when stuff happens, we get dozens.

Mod H: Yeah, when we ask for asks or when it’s obvious that we’re answering them we get quite a few.

Mod R: Yeah, yeah, so like we like seeing them! So when we refresh our inbox, if there’s nothing new in there, we get to see that one again and that’s nice. 'Someday,' says anonymous, 'I would like to know who's ran this blog and their personal tumblrs.' Too bad.

Mod H: We’re telling you nothing about us!

Mod R: I might eventually reveal mine, Mod H is not so keen.

Mod H: I don’t really wanna reveal my personal tumblr just cos, like-some people who follow me can probably guess because I make it quite obvious on my personal. But there’s about like five people I actually know on there.

Mod R: Mine’s pretty easy to work out, if you’ve got all the clues, which-all the clues are on the blog, if you go back far enough and look through all the tags…

Mod H: I think if you specifically went sleuthing through the blog to find out who we were, you probably could find that, with a bit of-

Mod R: And probably like, our close friends as well, from the beginning.

Mod H: Yeah, like our close friends and people we know.

Mod R: Luckily, a lot of the first posts – this wasn’t an intentional effort, but we’ve reblogged them in events and stuff, ‘hey look here’s our first post’ and we’ve washed out all the original reblogs which would have been to ours and our friend’s blogs, to promote the blog. Anonymous said ‘ALEXANDER HAMILTON!’ I don’t understand that.

Mod H: I probably made-I’m the one who’s seen Hamilton – well not seen it, I’ve listened to it.

Mod R: You’re going to see it.

Mod H: I’m going to see it!

Mod R: Lucky shit.

Mod H: I’m quite excited about that! I got really lucky with that.

Mod R: Okay, so, anonymous said ‘They do. It’s called Hogsmeade.’ So, like, I’m sure this was a response to a post, but here’s the thing – we don’t know what post this was a response to because we make ten a day.

Mod H: And by the time your ask has come in, it’s like a day later at least.

Mod R: From context of another ask, I think it’s–did we have a Starbucks, that Starbucks hasn’t opened a-

Mod H: Possibly. It might have been something along those lines, I can’t remember. I know that is a specific one, but I can’t remember what it was.

Mod R: Because someone asked us another one about magical instant coffee. Shout out to you, authoraiya. 'Which ships do u ship? like either canon or noncanon xx' Uh, all of them.

Mod H: Well, not all of them.

Mod R: Scorbus, sort of, but like also I don’t like shipping kids. Like I wish that they would-

Mod H: In a very-

Mod R: Have gotten together. I wish that Credence would have gotten a boyfriend. Because I think he was coded gay in Fantastic Beasts.

Mod H: I mean for me, erm, I don’t really ship generally. I ship Wolfstar kind of, Scorbus kind of-

Mod R: Wolfstar-well, I think I ship Wolfstar, a lot.

Mod H: Ginny and Luna.

Mod R: So that’s all the asks that we got, and a couple more.

Mod H: And a few more that we found from the archive.

Mod R: I’m gonna, just like the McElroys, I’m gonna leave you with another ask. Anonymous says, ‘What’s with y’all and micropigs though?’

Mod H: And with that, we’re out.

[imreszekeres]

for the anon that wanted all 100

1. Name- Ash! 2. Age- 18 3. City that you live in- fear, usually 4. What do most people not know about you?- nothing really, i compulsively release useless information about myself 5. What do most people know you for?- being fat and annoying 6. Hobbies- makeup, youtubers, sleeping, writing, drawing 7. What are your passions?- writing 8. What do you search for in a significant other?- i really Really need to be understood, and someone who is patient is nice too 7. What are you most proud of?- I hav gone to State and gotten within the top 10% in my Journalism competitions, which puts me in the top .08% of all high school students in my state. :-) im good for some things 8. When was the last time you had a significant conversation with someone you love?- every day when I talk to @pizzasteveofficial <3 all our conversations are significant 2 me 9. Have you ever collected anything? What was it?- I collect my tears in a jar and store them, then shower in them every night 10. List 10 things off of your bucket list.- I want to get married in the snow, have a daughter, get a Heartagram tattoo (at least one lol), write a successful book, and.. idk what else :0 11. What was the last thing you learned?- jesus I dont know, you learn sth new every day! hard to remember 12. How many relationships have you been in?- um.. 7 I think i feel like im forgetting one tho. I wont name them obvi but i think im forgetting one? i feel like ive been in 8 oh well 13. Turn ons- validation 14. Turn offs- being alive 15. Favorite food- frozen yogurt! I like the vanilla or white chocolate flavor with looots of toppings 16. Favorite drink- Coke 17. What is the best birthday gift you have ever received?- i dont really know! I dont remember a lot of my birthdays for trauma reasons so  18. Are you optimistic or pessimistic?- pessimistic by far lol 19. Do you sleep during class?- its happened a handful of times, I try not to bc I HATE missing work its annoying 20. What is the most expensive thing you own?- myself?? jk its my laptop 21. What is the cheapest yet most useful thing you own?- a 1 dollar ELF blending brush. yall those things are bomb please go buy some! 22. How many times a day on average do you check your phone?- that number does not exist holy shit  23. Text or call?- TEXT BLEASE I HAVE SUCH BAD HEARING 24. Opinion on long distance?- it can work! ive done it a lot of times. distance has never been whats broken a relationship for me, not directly anyway 25. What is your definition of success?- success is when you’re happy. you do not have many worries, not the kind that keep you awake at night or make your tummy sick anyway. You have people that love you and, if you died, you’d be remembered as a good bean 26. Favorite song?- right now im really diggin “Hate (I Really Dont Like You)” by the plain white Ts 27. Favorite artist?- HIM!!!!!!!!!!!! <3 28. Celebrity crush/crushes?- Ville Valo ALWAYS lmao hes my god 29. When was the last time you read for fun?- like last month 30. Favorite flower?- roses 31. What is the best gift you could receive right now?- a plane ticket to Connecticut and like 1000 dollars 32. Any guilty pleasures?- pop... music... BUT LIKE THE GOOD KIND U FEEL? I DONT LIKE STUFF FROM THE LAST 2 OR 3 YEARs...  33. What is one thing you would like to change about yourself?- my weight, and that sounds so shallow but it. is taking a toll on me. 34. What do you search for in a friend?- someone who is like me! 35. How many times have you said "I love you" in the past month?- not enough 36. Where did you last go other than your room/home?- school.. 37. Why do bad things happen to good people?- because life isnt fair 38. In your opinion, what hurts more? Being left out or being stabbed in the eye?- what the fuck being stabbed in the eye have you ever been stabbed in the fucking eye? because i havent and i can already tell you that if my friends were talking without me and then someone stabbed me in the fuCKING EYE I WOULD BE JUST A LITTLE BIT MORE PREOCCUPIED WITH BEING STABBED IN THE E Y E  39. How many green shirts do you own?- none lol 40. Do you like anime?- sure! I dont watch it rn but i dont watch anything rn, haha 41. What do you invest the most time in?- sleeping,, 42. What was the name of the last book you read?- Rebecca :3 very gud book 43. What's the difference between loving and liking someone?- when ur main squeeze gets a hair cut and u still wanna suck their dingus u love em, thats it sorry i dont make the rules 44. Where are you most productive?- i dont.. know what this is asking lol I’m most protective over my romantic partners. As much as I’d love to say im most protective over Sarah, nothing compares to how “troll guarding his treasure” i am w/my loves.......... *eyes @my crush* 45. List 3 things you enjoy doing with friends.- talking shit abt rude ppl, playing vidya gaem, and talking abt life 46. List 3 things you enjoy doing alone.- watching makeup tutorials, watching lets plays, and thinking about everything and anything 47. Do you believe world peace will ever exist?- absolutely not. theres too many people on the earth to achieve that 48. Do you have any allergies?- Not to anything specific but i get them really often seasonally. i get them pretty much every time the weather changes :( 49. When was the last time you cussed at someone?- i mean.. every day of my life so like 50. What was the last promise you made?- idek dude 51. What was your last dream about?- IT WAS SO WEIRD IT WAS ABOUT MY CRUSH’S MOM? I DREAMT THAT SHE WAS A DEMON WHO STORED HER EGGS IN LITTLE PORCELAIN JARS AND THAT MY CRUSH HAD AN EAR INFECTION AND WE WERE IN A SNOWY VILLAGE IDK DONT ASK ME its weird bc my crushs mom is so sweet... 52. If you won a trip to Hawaii and you could take 5 people with you, who would those 5 people be?- i would literally only take Sarah bc i hate everyone 53. How many countries have you visited?- ive never been outside the US 54. What is your favorite medium of art? (Music, dance, painting, etc.)- writing :-) 56. When was the last time somebody complimented you?- those nice anons i got yesterday/the other day! 56. If you switched bodies with someone, how would you recognize yourself?- what do u even mean? youd know bc youd be like THIS ISNT MY BODY 57. Do you consider yourself mature?- kind of, yes 58. How many days in your life do you think you have wasted on tumblr?- too fuckin many 59. What is your favorite quote?- “Worship Satan!” -Ville Valo (no but rly any HIM lyric is my favorite quote, theyre so beautiful,,,) 60. If you started a new religion and you had to create 3 rules or commandments for your new followers to live by, what would those 3 rules be?- dont hurt ppl unless they hurt u, dont touch ppl unless they want u to, and respect gender/sexuality 61. What is your greatest accomplishment?- going 2 state! 62. Do you believe in the death penalty?- yeah i actually think it should b used more lol, kill all rapists and p*dophiles :-) 63. What are your goals for life?- i just wanna b happy, man 64. What do you think your soulmate is doing right now?- being a fucking idiot, probably 65. If you could live anywhere, where would you live? The place can be in an imaginary, fantasy, or the real world.- CALIFORNIA LMAO IM SUCH A SUCKER FOR CALIFORNIA AND I NEVER EVEN BEEN THERE 66. What were you like in 2013?- awful but also really sweet... then again i wasnt TECHNICALLY the host so lol  67. Do you have a job?- no :( i cant drive 68. Tell us a story about your childhood best friend.- she was an abusive bitch who took out her parents hating her on me the end 69. If you could change one thing about society, what would it be?- i would make discrimination a way more serious crime than it is taken for rn. ppl who discriminate should b put in jail 70. How many all-nighters have you pulled before?- just one when i had to install the sims and it took 6 years 71. Is tumblr your favorite website? If not, then what is your favorite website?- my fave website is youtube 72. What is the craziest thing you would do for a million dollars?- suck a dick, i guess 73. Does money equal happiness?- not all the time but it sure can 74. How many times have you experienced true happiness in your lifetime?- never, i dont think 75. How many times have you experienced true sadness in your lifetime?- too many times 76. What is the funniest joke you have ever been told?- you know that joke abt the blind man at the beginning of Crazy Rap? yeah thats fucking HILARIOUS  77. When was the last time you looked at the news?- this morn :0 78. If you could say one thing to the world, what would you say?- im gay 79. What is your favorite animal?- RACCOONS!!!!!!!!!!!! 80. If you could earn a million dollars by pretending to be dead for 3 years, would you do it?- i mean sure lmao nobody would b upset about it so 81. What is one thing that everyone is bad at?- being a human. 82. What time do you normally sleep? How many hours of sleep do you usually get?- i usually go to bed at 10 and get like 6 or 7 hours 83. Does age necessarily equal maturity?- not at all! 84. What is your favorite clothing store?- hot topic lol 85. In the winter- beanies or gloves?- gloves b 86. Would you rather have wings or a fish tail?- wings?? why would i want a fish tail 87. If you had the power to erase one person from the world so that nobody remembered him or her except you, would you do it?- absofuckinglutely.  88. What do you fear the most?- being like my rapist. thats a little too deep than i like to go but im being honest, thats literally my biggest fear Ever 89. How many digits of pi can you recite?- 3.14 lmfao i hate math 90. If you could travel back to one year and relive it again, which year would it be?- 2004. I would stop it before it happened. :-( 91. Describe yourself in one word.- stupid 92. Describe your last victory.- i woke up today w/o killin meself 93. What is the weirdest thing you have ever seen?- bendytoots cucumberpitch’s face 94. What is something you will never forget?- prom.. something rly nice happened 95. Would you rather forget all of the past or remember everything in vivid detail?- forget everything. please 96. Have you ever broken a bone before?- nope! 97. Is it harder to love or to hate somebody?- probably harder to love them lol 98. Coffee or tea?- coffer 99. What are some little things that you do that have changed your life in a positive way?- I dont overdose on a constant basis in a BPD-fueled rage any more so thats good 100. How many hours have you spend on tumblr today?- probably 1 or 2?