#so if i'm hoping for people to consider my point and take it on board i do have to like. be civil abt it. and not passive aggressive

[icewindandboringhorror]

finally finished all of one character's entire quests/optional dialogue/questions/etc.... 100,000 words... .... aughhh

[viktortittiforov]

my god why do so many tumblr posts have to be worded so fucking self-righteously like bro i agree with you but i'm not going to interact w your post bcs honestly you sound like a condescending douchebag

[reallyromealone]

Azul x Malleus brother male reader

Fae courting

A broach

A coin

And a paperclip.

These are the things that Azul had received from (name) Draconia within the past few days, the fae wandering to him at random points and placing them in his hand wandering off, leaving the octopus merman VERY confused as he held the shiny trinket.

what was this??? What's he trying to tell him?!

"Well I don't understand the political spectrum of box beetles but I'm sure we could work out something" (name) said softly, voice joyful and absent-minded. "Perhaps we could ask my brother to assist on this" (name) offered unaware of eyes on him.

Jade and Floyd watched in the distance, following their bosses order on figuring out (name)s motives but so far they saw him tend to mushrooms and talk to insects along with chatting with his brother about fae nonsense, nothing to raise suspicion.

"A... Iron frog?"

"Silver, iron doesn't like fae" (name) said airily as he played with Azuls hand "I was informed by the trees that a confectionery has bloomed in the east..." He said to the other who raised an eyebrow "ok?"

"I wish to be invited" (name) said looking at him with a smile and Azul just stared "so?"

"Perhaps someone could invite me and tell me tales of their whimsies" (name) looked hopeful but Azul wasn't getting it "I hope you find someone to do that with" and with that (name) was alone.

"He's my paramour yet he rejected my advances for an outing" (name) said to Lilia who smiled at his nephew figure who looked confused, not understanding why his beloved would not go to a cafe with him despite not asking but instead implying that he wanted to go there with him.

And now Lilia was dealing with a pouty prince "perhaps I should ask my beloved child of the sea to play his table games... Oh I should have considered his feelings on the subjects of our engagements" (name) looked upset with himself "perhaps take him to a cafe of sorts that has board games" Lilia supplied and (name) tilted his head confused "I will seek Council with someone to assist me on this" and with that (name) was gone.

'that sweet hopeless sparrow's Lilia thought as he watched him wander off.

"Oh? Hello (name)" Vil looked at the younger Draconia brother who handed him old coins "I wish to seek in conversation with you in regards to romantic rendezvous" (name) said seriously and Vil looked very confused "my beloved paramour Azul has rejected my proposition for a romantic outing and I wish to know what would fancy him instead" Vil wanted to laugh at this situation, the fae precious in his attempts to woo a man who Vil isn't even sure knows (name) has been pursuing.

"Well perhaps we can figure something out"

"By the seven he was asking me out" Azul said stopping in his tracks as he went over the earnings from the lounge "the coins... He was asking me out"

"Oh he thinks you're dating" Ace said casually as he sipped on his drink "what?" Azul looked floored at this "he refers to you as his Paramore, you accepted Fae courting gifts after all"

Azul needed to find (name).

Vil smiled as he dressed (name) up, the fae prince pleased with the flower crown and nice clothes that weren't too restrictive "now you go tell him that you wish to see his coin collection" Vil was supportive of the other as he urged him to go find Azul.

(Name) wandered the halls blissfully as he looked for his beloved ocean born lover "(name)!" Azul called out as he briskly walked to the other "hello fair ocean treasure, I was hoping we could eng--""are you telling people were dating?" He asked getting to the poing and (name) tilted his head "why would I not speak of our courtship"

Frustrated Azul sighed "because we aren't?"

"But you accepted my gifts?"

"That was a mistake"

Azul regretted his words at the simply heartbroken expression (name) held at the word mistake, it was a mistake? But... But he accepted his courting?

(Name) was a mistake to him?

"(Name), I di-"" very well, I hope you find yourself in good health... Goodbye"

And with that (name) was gone.

Malleus was protective of his younger brother, (name) was his kin after all.

So seeing him so visibility distraught as he clutched a flower crown in his hands "I wish not to seek romantic intentions anymore..."

"But what of your courtship with the ocean born?" Malleus comforted his brother who looked tearful "he claimed our courtship was a mistake!" He cried into his hands and Malleus felt rage bubble within him at his brothers betrayal.

"He is not worthy of your affections"

"That was cruel" Rook spoke up after seeing the interaction "he was so hopelessly in love with you too... Poor little thing" he sighed with false sadness "he had plans of asking you to do things you enjoyed too, he had Vil help him and everything..."

Azul felt like shit.

He missed the clear Fae courting traditions and (name) was hurt because of it, Azul couldn't deny be felt... Romantic interest towards the horned male but in the heat of it he spoke out of his ass.

Word got around fast about the "break up" and (name) seemed absolutely miserable, Vil comforting the poor fae as Silver showed him a very small toad to cheer him up.

Azul sighed as he held a hand held glass greenhouse with tiny mushrooms in it and (prefered treat) as he walked to the trio "if you wish to know, I have not spoken of anything" (name) looked down as Silver glared at the octopus and Vil sighed but saw the gifts "Silver, could you help me with something?" Vil dragged an angry Silver away as (name) fidgeted slightly, refusing to make eye contact with the other "I can assure you, I will no longer cause mistakes for you" (name) whispered and was ready to leave when Azul stopped him "please... Just listen" (name) continued sitting and looked suspicious and sad "I was.. an ass yesterday, I was thrown off and reacted horribly... Would you please accept this courting gift?" (Name) looked at the items hesitantly as he looked at the other.

"But I'm a mistake"

"No you're not, I was being a jerk and I didn't understand why you would want to date me"

"Because you are like the ray of dawn on a winter's morn" (name) said simply as he took the small terrarium and inspected it "a death cap?" He smiled and looked at the other "You are forgiven sea born, but if you tread in those waters again I will not be able to stop my brother" he said simply and Azul shivered as he remembered (name)s brother was literally one of the most powerful mages in existence.

"And by the way" Azul said softly as he walked with a still shy (name) "your gifts were very nice"

(Name)s smile at that moment could melt the sun, so brilliant and pure "those are fae coins, you collect coins so they would be good for your collection"

[seospicybin]

REWIND.

PART I

Hyunjin x reader x Seungmin. (s,a)

Chapters: Part II

Synopsis: As a part of a research team that works on a memory-erasing machine, you work alongside the professor whom you greatly admire and a computer geek who relentlessly flirts with you. But the one that you want is the one that you can't have. (12,6k words)

Author's note: Sorry for the delay. Enjoy this one!

Memories are recordings of our past experiences and experiences can be good and bad, some are in between. There are also ones that we wish we had never experienced in the first place and whether we like it or not, they stay with us. We can only try to endure them in the hope that time will lessen the pain that memory carries.

The thing is remembering is easy. It's forgetting that's hard.

Here at KS Research Facility, forgetting is as easy as pressing the delete button. The research team has successfully built software called Memory Neurons Erasing Machine, in short, MNE-Machine.

With the existence of this machine, now anyone can erase a certain memory from their brain and live as if that memory never existed at all.

The one to thank for this technology is Professor Kim Seungmin, the youngest yet the brightest scientist of the past decade. He is the one who came up with the idea, spent two years developing that idea, initiated the project, and ultimately, led the team building the machine from scratch.

There's only one MNE-Machine in the world for now and once it has successfully passed five human tests, the board will authorize the production of this machine so eventually, anyone can easily undergo the memory erasing procedure which means there’ll be more people to help.

And what is your part in this? You're an assistant to Seungmin, you directly work with the man who invented it and help him achieve his goal. Despite your minor role, you're proud to be a part of it. Despite restocking the coffee pods in his office is one of your job desks, well… yeah, you're still proud of it.

"How much time do I have before the meeting?"

You scramble when you see Professor Seungmin come into the office. You hurriedly finish restocking the coffee pods into the drawer and crumple the empty box behind your back. You glance at your wristwatch and check the time.

"You have approximately 30 minutes," you answer with a smile.

It's not like he'll your smile, Seungmin barely speaks a full sentence to you so there's no reason he looks at you in the eyes as he speaks. He goes to his drawer, scanning through the files with his fingers flipping one file over another to finally find the one he's looking for. He takes it with him as he sits on his desk, flipping the file open and starts reading.

"Is there anything I can help you with, Professor?" You ask because despite it being your job to assist him, he rarely asks for your help unless it's urgent.

He stays quiet until he flips to another page of his file, "Get me the subject's latest psych eval!"

"Right away, Professor!" You reply, picking up the empty box and carrying it with you out of the office.

Considering that there's not much time left until the meeting, you need to get it fast for Seungmin. But you know when you're in a hurry, there's always something that slows you down in the process. Well, in your case, it's a man who dresses like he's in a rock band in his ripped jeans and oversized t-shirts, his dark hair that he keeps long is usually tied in a low, messy ponytail.

At one point, everyone just kind of gave up telling him to put his lab coat on. As long as he does his job well as a tech scientist, everyone just let him be.

However, Hwang Hyunjin can't let you be, he flirts and teases, even seduces you at any chance possible.

"Can you get off my chair?" You ask, then let out a low sigh.

He swivels the chair to face you and grins, making his eyes forming two crescent moons, "I'm making your chair much more comfortable," he simply says while patting his lap, telling you to sit on it instead.

It's only going to be a waste of time trying to tell him off so you relent, sitting on his lap and when he's about to put his arms around you, you glare at him.

Hyunjin immediately put his hands up in defeat, "Want to grab drinks after work?"

He asked you the same question every other day for a few months now and your answer remains the same.

"No," you answer without a beat, getting on your computer to search for the file Seungmin asked.

"How about dinner?" Hyunjin shoves his hand into the pocket of your lab coat, knowing you like to keep sweets in there.

"My treat," he adds while checking the other pocket.

You're clicking open a few folders as you answer, "No."

Hyunjin excitedly gasps as he pulls out something out of your pocket, a caramel. He wastes no time to unwrap it then pops the cube-shaped caramel into his mouth.

"You know you can't keep saying no to me," he says, resting his chin on your shoulder.

"No," you shortly respond.

He hisses at the way you keep rejecting him, "There'll be a day where you say yes," he confidently says.

You look away from the computer screen to look at him and say, "No."

He softly sighs then rests his chin on your other shoulder, "Let's say you already done your part playing hard to get and get to the first base already," he shamelessly says.

Hyunjin is so bold and confident, you can't deny that he's beautiful, he probably never had any problems getting any girls he wanted. Maybe that’s why he won't stop asking you out, he feels challenged to win you over too. As if you would let him have the satisfaction.

Shaking your head, you pretend that you didn't hear him say that. You click print on the file and get up from his lap, walking to the printer to wait for it to finish printing yet Hyunjin follows you there, leaning against the printer machine with his arms crossed in front of you

"The more you reject me, the more motivated I am," he says with a lopsided grin on his face.

"You sound like a serial killer," you tell him.

He bends down to get the printed file for you and hands it to you with both hands, "I'm just saying."

Without looking, you know Hyunjin is trailing behind you like a puppy with his tail wagging behind him. He then sits on the edge of your desk, grabbing the stapler for you to use.

"Go, do your job or something!" You try to send him off even though you know it's going to be a useless effort.

"I am doing my job by helping you do your job," he says with a half-smirk.

See? It's only going to waste your time trying to tell him off, it's easier to ignore him. You hurriedly tidy the files and bring them to Seungmin's office. You place three gentle knocks on the door before letting yourself in.

"Professor, I have the files you need— Ouch!" You bump into someone and you glance up to see that it's Seungmin.

His office is big, in fact, too big for someone who likes to spend most of his time in the lab yet you feel like there's no space left where you can escape his intense stare.

"Oh, God! I am so sorry," you apologize in sheer panic and quickly take off the hands unknowingly resting against his chest.

You expect him to, you know, dust himself off since your hands were touching him but instead of that, he looks at you and not just look at your face but right into your eyes for the first time in a long time. The eye contact only lasts a second until Seungmin takes the files from you.

"I'll read it on the way to the meeting room," he says.

Having no time, you hurriedly grab your things from your desk, clutching them close to your chest as you follow him from behind.

On the way to the meeting room, Seungmin spotted Hyunjin having a donut in the pantry. He stops on his track to say, "Aren't you coming?"

Hyunjin knows well enough that when Seungmin tells him to go, then he should go. In fact, Seungmin is the only one who can control Hyunjin. A part of the reason is because Seungmin personally hired him and has been taking him under his wing, you can say Hyunjin is his protégé.

He puts the half-eaten donut down and happily joins the two of you as you let him link his arm with you, walking together to the meeting room.

-

There are three main buildings in the KS Research Facility.

 A building is the main office and a health facility, B building is the biggest and also a research facility, there are several science projects on the works in there but it's mainly focused on Biochemical, led by Professor Hale and C building is where you work along with the team that works with MNE-Machine, it's the smallest building so the team get to have the building for themselves.

But as a smaller community, you have to go to the B building for meetings and such because most of the board members are there. You have to walk from and through the greenhouse, seeing all the rare plants the scientists are collecting in there on the way to get to the B building.

Today's meeting is to seek approval from the members of the board on the test subject Seungmin has carefully selected from a group of volunteers and once it's approved he can proceed with the procedure.

While the important people are busy talking about important stuff, you and Hyunjin are secretly playing tic-tac-toe in your notebook. He's twirling his pen between his fingers when you subtly nudge his elbow, signaling that it's his turn to place his O.

As Hyunjin observes the game with his tongue slightly sticking out the corner of his mouth, you notice that Professor Hale's assistant, Rina, is staring at Hyunjin.

"Your turn," he whispers at you.

You look down at your notebook and lowly mutter through your gritted teeth, "One o'clock."

It takes him a moment to get what you're saying, and then Hyunjin looks in the direction you hinted. You watch them exchange a look before Hyunjin turns his head back at you, looking unbothered. He clicks his pen to place an O and scratches down the line.

"I won," he whispers with his warm breath tickling your ear.

Noticing that the meeting has come to a final decision, you stop talking and fix your sitting position. You watch as the board members take votes on whether Seungmin can continue with the test or not and all hands are raised in favor of Seungmin.

"With all members approving the selected test subject, Professor Seungmin is allowed to continue with the procedure that will be held on the agreed upon time and place," the board leader announces.

Even in his triumphant moment, Seungmin remains calm and still, you can't remember the last time he smiled, even out of courtesy. Ha he always been like this? Honestly, you can’t remember.

"The board members will watch closely the process, before and after the test. We also demand follow-ups and thorough datas on every detail of the test," they warn once again even though it's not the first time Seungmin has run the test.

Everyone scatters around once the meeting has finished, you wait outside of the meeting room knowing that Seungmin will likely stay to chat with the other professors. Rina is still here as well, holding her tablet close to her chest and not-so-subtly staring at Hyunjin

"You should ask her out," you mutter at Hyunjin, subtly hinting the subject of the talk with your eyes.

Hyunjin doesn't even look up from his phone when he flat-out rejects the idea, "No, thank you."

"Why not? She's pretty and she's your age," you point out all of the obvious facts why he should be seducing her, not you who's a couple of years older than him and not having a shiny, healthy hair.

Hyunjin lets out a scoff, then shoves his phone into the pocket of his hoodie, "You're prettier and older," he says with a sly smile plastered on his face.

Whether he tries to compliment you or try to offend you, you feel like you need to check if there's something wrong with him. You poke his side with your pen and he yelps in pain.

"What's wrong with you?" He sharply gasps.

"You are what's wrong," you answer, poking him on the other side this time.

He laughs and leans against the wall facing you, slightly slouching so he can be on the same eye level with you. "Dating older women is hot, you know," he coyly remarks.

You give him a repulsed glare at his words, shaking your head as you look away from him.

"And you're hot so dating you would be ticking two boxes at once," he adds with his sly smile growing wider on his angular face.

Besides your actual job, you have to deal with this 5'10" man bursting with youthful charm and testosterone, you wouldn't complain if you get double paychecks for it. You aim his stomach next and poke him with your pen again, hoping a little violence would put some sense into his small head.

"One more test, huh?" Professor Hale says, patting Seungmin's shoulder as they walk out of the meeting room.

It feels like your body is accustomed to getting on your perfect posture whenever Seungmin walks into your radar, you stop moving altogether and stand up straighter.

"I'll see everyone on Friday!" Professor Hale says one last time, he also smiles at you and Hyunjin before turning to leave.

Now that the team has earned the green light, everyone is going to get busier to prepare everything. Seungmin lists the things he wants you to do as he walks back to C building and you jot down everything on your notebook. He stops by the main lab and gets Hyunjin on the job, ordering him to run a diagnostic test on the MNE-Machine, checking for any issues.

It's one of those times when you can see how passionate Seungmin is about his work.

He's the reason why you applied for the job, not only because you can work directly with him but also because you admire him, his brilliance, his work ethic, and most of all, him as a person.

There are so many things you learned from working for him for the last three years and your admiration toward him only grows bigger with time. And out of that admiration, something else grows, something that makes you excited to go to work, makes you happy at the sight of him and wanting to always be close to him.

Sensing that someone is watching him, Seungmin turns around to find you still standing there, "Don't you have things to do?"

You gulp air before asking, "Uhm.. Professor?"

He starts walking with his hands shoved inside his lab coat pockets, "Yes?"

You half jog to keep up with his wide strides, "Professor Hale said one more test and I thought we're only on our fourth test?"

You wait for his answer while quietly admiring his wide shoulders from the back while struggling to keep up with his fast walks.

All of a sudden, he turns on his feet and then he looks at you, the eye contact doesn't last longer than a second until he looks away, "Notify the test subject first and make sure they make the time for the interview tomorrow!" He orders instead of answering your question.

"Will do, Professor," you respond.

You manage to finish a few things before it's time to go home, the rest on the to-do list are meant to be done tomorrow though. As you're about to get your coat, Seungmin walks out of his office and swings his briefcase on his side.

"I'll see you tomorrow," he says without looking at you.

"Have a great—" You don't even get to finish your sentence as he disappears into the elevator.

Only a dozen people are working in the C building and there are only five people working directly with Seungmin. Professor Lee who worked together on MNE-Machine with Seungmin is being called to give lectures out of the country and taking his assistant with him, so that leaves you and Hyunjin. The rest of the employees are working maintenance on the lower level of the building, you only meet them when you either enter or leave the building.

"Are you sure you don't want to grab drinks with me?" Hyunjin asks, unlocking his car but not getting in yet.

You toss your bag onto the passenger's seat before getting inside your car. It's actually tempting to say yes, you could use it to blow some steam off to prepare you for the busy days ahead.

But you don't want to give Hyunjin the satisfaction. No, not yet.

"No," you answer with a playful smile.

Hyunjin tosses his backpack inside and comes up to your car, he bends down to look at you through your rolled-down window.

"Come on. It'll be fun," he persuades with a smile that is mischievous and seductive at once. You bet this is how he puts anyone under his spell.

You turn your head at him and smile, "You know what would be fun?"

He tips his head to the side and asks, "What?"

"Me running you over with my car," you jokingly say as you turn on the car engine.

“Ooo… feisty,” Hyunjin hisses then slowly, he steps away from your car.

That's how most of your days usually went, dealing with two men who are the opposite of each other. One gives you not enough attention and the other gives you way too much. One is cold and nonchalant, the other one is warm and attentive.

Sadly, the one that you want is the one that you can't have.

-

What is it that he likes about you? Hyunjin can quite put his finger on it.

Something about you though draws him to you, it's almost magnetic and he happens to like the push and pull of it. However, he liked you even before this dynamic formed between the two of you.

He likes that you're unlike the other girls he had met and known, you have a way of carrying yourself, you're outspoken and bold, and he can see how smart you are from the way you act, the way you talk, and even the way you think.

Under that layer of fine qualities though, you're a simple girl, gentle and a bit silly and Hyunjin likes to play with that latter part of you because he knows that even though you act like you don't like being around him, he knows that it’s actually the opposite.

One thing that Hyunjin likes the most is when you're deeply focusing on something. You look so beautiful yet so unaware of it.

"Why are you working so hard? You only get one paycheck," he whispers from behind you as you observe the interview occurring in the next room.

"Thank you for gracing us with your presence,” You sneer at him.

Hyunjin stands right behind you, his hand is rummaging inside your lab coat pocket to find something sweet in there. He finds your scrunchie instead and he uses it to tie his hair into a messy bun.

"So, what memories are we going to erase?" Hyunjin asks while rummaging through your other lab pocket. He gasps in excitement when he finds a lollipop.

"A bombing incident, he was trapped under the rubble for ten hours in complete darkness and has been dealing with severe PTSD and claustrophobia ever since," you eloquently explain, jotting down a few things in your notebook as you speak.

"That's tragic," Hyunjin comments while struggling to unwrap the lollipop.

Hyunjin takes a moment to look at the interview taking place in the next room conducted by Seungmin himself. He's asking the test subject about his worst memories and as the test subject talks about them, he triggers the brain to show where these memories are located. It's important to have a map of these memories to prevent the MNE-Machine from messing with the other memories.

"Are you ready to spend another night together?" He asks, finally succeeding in unwrapping the lollipop.

"I can tell you're into threesomes," you joke in a plain tone.

It seems like Seungmin hasn't told you about the personal matter he has to attend on Friday night and as his assistant, you’re supposed to know these kind of things before him. Hyunjin crosses his arms in front of him and tries to make what of it.

"He didn't tell you?"

You stop noting down bits from the interview, "What?"

"Professor Seungmin will be having his wedding anniversary dinner on Friday night and obviously, he can't miss it," he tells you.

From the way your eyes waver and widen, you indeed have no idea about it. You look back at your notebook but stop writing.

He leans in and mutters, "We'd likely spend the night just the two of us, isn't that exciting?"

You put your pen into your pocket and flip shut your notebook, then you get up from your chair. You turn to look at him and pull the lollipop he stole out of his mouth.

"Stop stealing my sweet!" You tell him, shoving the lollipop into your mouth next.

You leave the room looking slightly upset about something but he's sure it's not about the lollipop. However, Hyunjin is mostly focused on how you didn't hesitate to take the lollipop.

"Kinky? Checked," he mutters to himself.

There's nothing wrong with the MNE-Machine and Hyunjin understands that Seungmin wants everything to be perfect until the day of the test, but he worries too much. The MNE-Machine can only get activated by his access key so he goes to his office, knocking on his door before popping his head between the doors.

"Professor, I need the access key to uh..." he awkwardly says because it feels like he's asking his dad if he can borrow his car.

"I'll be right there," Seungmin shortly answers.

Now that he only needs to wait for Seungmin, he has time to tease you. He leans on your desk, watching your nimble fingers busy typing something on your computer with your hair draping around your face.

"Hi, the most beautiful and hardworking girl," he sweetly greets you with a bright smile on his face.

"That's half true," you say without taking your eyes away from the computer screen.

"You know I'm always telling the truth," he says once again, feeling tempted to tuck your hair so he can see your face.

"I am the only girl in the building," you point out with a raised eyebrow.

Hyunjin can't help himself anymore, he reaches for your hair, wanting to brush it to the side when Seungmin gets out of his office.

"Let's go," he says to Hyunjin while fixing his lab coat.

Hyunjin reluctantly drops his hand and offers it to you, "Come with me, dear princess?"

You chuckle at him and take his hand, letting him put your hand around his as you both walk to the main lab.

MNE-Machine resembles one big X-ray machine but the technology behind it is way more intricate than that and Hyunjin's job is to operate it. He's sitting behind the large desk with a dozen computer screens showing a lot of things all at once.

It's a quick check-up for tomorrow's test, Hyunjin gets the machine ready and swivels his chair back to let Seungmin insert his access key to run the program. Hyunjin's long fingers are dancing on the keyboard, checking everything and making sure everything is fine.

"I don't see any issues here, working just fine, Professor," Hyunjin informs, showing him the performance log on one of the computer screens.

Seungmin observes it for a while, checking things himself and Hyunjin is already used to his mistrust. After all, Seungmin is a scientist,  he only believes something when it's written in data, not someone's words.

"Everything is great," he mutters, still checking everything.

"Just like I said..." Hyunjin lowly mutters through his teeth while swiveling his chair to see you, flashing a smile at you when you're clearly not looking at him.

Seungmin then turns around to face everyone but only looks at Hyunjin as he speaks.

"The two of you can come late tomorrow but make sure to be here by four. The test will commence at 5," Seungmin says even though everyone is well aware of it because it's the only thing they've been working on for these past few days.

"And we'll take care of the rest," Hyunjin continues his words while swiveling his chair back to face the computer,

Seungmin briefly glances at Hyunjin then takes a pen out of his lab coat, "I'll stay to supervise," he says.

"Then how about your dinner, Professor?" Hyunjin asks.

"I'll take care of my personal matter myself," Seungmin coldly answers.

Those words are enough to put Hyunjin back in his place, he retreats right away and closes his mouth. His intention is not to meddle in his business but it's a wedding anniversary, it only happens once in a year and he has to wait for another year to celebrate. Maybe Seungmin can celebrate it another time but Hyunjin wouldn't be so sure the missus would be pleased to hear her husband rather stay the night up working in the lab.

And also because—

"I think you should go, Professor," you say.

The heads are turned in your direction, and you're fidgeting with the hem of your lab coat as you speak, "I mean, once you authorized the procedure... Hyunjin and I, the two of us can supervise it..." your voice gets smaller the more you talk.

It seems like a good time for Hyunjin to add his say too, he gets up from his chair to make it a formal appeal.

"We just need to wait until the machine finishes the procedure. We surely can do that for you," Hyunjin assures.

It's going to be a hard case to convince him since Seungmin has trust issues, especially with Hyunjin. Again, it's the scientist in him.

"I don't feel good leaving such great responsibility on the two of you," He says without looking at either you or him.

"There's nothing to worry about, Professor. The machine works fine and if anything happens— which I'm sure nothing is going to happen, Professor Hale is a building away and... so are the other dozen of Professors..." Hyunjin failed not to fumble on his words, he was rambling the whole time.

"What Hyunjin is trying to say is we're trained to do this and if you're worried, we'll keep you notified every hour on the progress of the procedure," you immediately add.

Hyunjin secretly gives you a thumbs-up from behind his back, thanking you for backing him up.

Seungmin looks at him, then at you, probably considering whether to finally trust his employees or not. Whatever his decision is, Hyunjin is ready to be disappointed. After a moment, Seungmin clicks his pen and puts it back into his pocket.

"I'll think about it," he concludes, leaving the main lab with the hem of his lab coat flying behind him.

Hyunjin kicks the floor to gain momentum so the chair rolls across the room and hits the other end of the table, stopping not far from you.

"I know you want to spend the night together with me," he teases you.

You scoff and look at him, "Mmh. Yeah, sure."

He takes both of your hands and holds them, "What do you want to do tomorrow night, mmh?"

Your shoulders slump as you sigh, "Should I change my mind about this?"

Hyunjin puts his hands on your shoulders and keeps your gaze on him, "How about this? Tomorrow, you come dressed nicely for me and I'll take care of the essentials," he says, slowly blinking his eyes hoping they're enough to soften you.

The stillness on your face shatters as you break into a smile, "Okay," you reply with a nod.

Hyunjin leans down to kiss your hands but you retrieve them before he can place a kiss, "Don't get too excited!"

This proves that you actually like having him around. You could have drawn boundaries and he would have respected it, but instead of that, you keep letting him in.

And Hyunjin hopes you keep on letting him in until the day you finally say yes to him.

-

With Seungmin sending you to pick up his suits at the tailor means that he has decided to go to the wedding anniversary dinner tonight.

The drive from the nearest town to the facility takes half an hour and on the way back to your car, you see a flower shop and think of getting a bouquet as a gift. You pick the nicest one knowing that Seungmin married a woman who comes from a wealthy family and their wealth funded Seungmin's project. In fact, the facility is owned by Seungmin's parents in-laws.

What do you have against all that? This is the bitter pill you have to swallow everyday for the last three years.

As you expected, Seungmin is already in his office as you can see through the glass window, reading his journal and probably working on his new project already. You put on your lab coat and then knock on his office door three times before entering his office.

"Good day, Professor," you greet.

You walk to his coat hanger, hang his suits for him, and then put his mails on his desk. You take a step back and look at him, a way to let him know that you’re at his service.

"Anything else I can do for you, Professor?"

Seungmin looks up from his journal and lays his eyes on you, staring at you like there's something wrong with you. You immediately look down, checking your appearance and you're sure that it's not the first time you wear a skirt to work so what is different about you that gets him staring?

"P-professor?" You stammer, wiping your palms down the front of your skirt.

He immediately looks away and clears his throat as he flips the next page of his journal, "Make sure the serum is ready and check in on Professor Hale uh..." he clears his throat before continuing to talk.

"What time he'll be here, " He takes another look at you before turning his chair away from you.

"Sure thing, Professor," you respond, wasting no time to get on the job.

The sight of the flower bouquet reminds you to put it in the fridge for the time being to keep it fresh, you bring it with you to the pantry, and safely tuck it between bottles of water inside the fridge. You're supposed to go to the B building to get the serum but you make a stop at the main lab, seeing Hyunjin is already busy in front of his computer.

"That's new," you say, commenting on the glasses he's wearing.

Hyunjin rolls his chair away from his desk and looks at you with a grin on his face.

"Yeah, it's uh... I can't see clearly without them," he says while sticking his finger inside the frame, showing you that it's just the frame. Hyunjin has a weird sense of humor but in a way that is adorable, not annoying.

You softly laugh and shake your head, "I have to go to the next building."

He nods and effortlessly twirls a pen between his fingers, "I'd like to come with you but he wants me to..." he shows how busy he is to get everything ready for the test.

"That's okay. I'm working faster this way anyway," you playfully say.

After running around the facility getting everything ready for the test, you knock on Seungmin's office to notify him that everything is ready. As usual, you let yourself in after the third knock and walk up to his desk, "Professor, the test subject is already on their way here," you inform.

Seungmin gets up from his chair to put on his lab coat, "Okay then I'll uh..." he looks down at his desk, cluttered with papers.

"Can you look for the—" he points at the mess on his desk.

"Want me to tidy your desk?" You offer but not moving until you get his confirmation.

"Yes."

While he's busy putting on his lab coat, you gather all the papers and put all of them into a stack, along with old files he took out from archives. You organize them into different piles and when you lift his journal, his access key slips out of it. You don't know if he notices, but you quickly squat down to get it from the floor.

Seungmin keeps a Polaroid photo in the back of his access key, you can tell from the back of it but you're curious to see who's in the photo. The safe bet would be of his wife or them together but if that's the case then why did he choose to hide it?

"Here," you hand him his access key knowing that he needs it to authorize the use of MNE-Machine.

Seungmin looks at you, then at the access key in your hand. He quickly reaches for it and as he takes it from you, his fingers brush with yours, you feel a static current, a slight electric shock that makes you retract your hand right away.

You see that he senses it too from the way his eyes widen and grow a little intense, or maybe because you caught him staring into your eyes again.

"I'll check the main lab," you excuse yourself out of his office.

The preparation continues as Professor Seungmin explains the procedure that he'll be going through and after that, he gives him an injection with the serum that will make the test subject's brain responsive to the MNE-Machine. Soon, the test subject will fall into deep sleep and he'll remain in his slumber while the MNE-Machine is working on him.

Everyone gathers in the main lab to start the test and Professor Hale is here as the representation of the board members, watching over Seungmin who works with a team of doctors to check on the test subject one last time to continue with the procedure.

You walk up to stand next to Hyunjin who also watches everything from the operator room, you quietly take his hand and put it inside your lab coat pocket.

He turns his head at you and smiles when he finds the sweet you keep in there for him. He gladly takes it out of your pocket and his eyes shimmer when he finds out what it is, a small bar of chocolate.

"Good luck for today," you mutter to him.

"Thank you," He whispers as he puts it in the back pocket of his jeans.

It's time for the final step. Seungmin takes out his access key and scans it into the computer, sending the screens light up and the system starts loading.

Hyunjin then takes the role of operating the machine, clicking on his keyboard and getting the MNE-Machine ready for Seungmin. When he's done, he backs away to let Seungmin push the authorization button. He glances at Professor Hale, seeking final approval from him.

"Go ahead, Professor," Professor Hale says, allowing him to continue.

Seungmin confidently pushes the button and MNE-Machine begins by following the map Seungmin has recorded days before and from there, it starts erasing the targeted memories from its most recent to the earliest. The procedure could take 8 to 10 hours, depending on the amount of memories programmed to be erased.

Professor Hale applauds as Seungmin successfully launches another test and comes up to him to congratulate him with a proud smile on his face and pats on his shoulder, "Congratulations!"

"Don't congratulate me yet, Professor," Seungmin sheepishly says.

"We all know your machine is a great success," Professor Hale praises, briefly glancing at you before looking back at him.

You don't want to overanalyze something that could mean nothing but a mere glance. You smile at him thinking he's just being courteous with you.

Professor Seungmin leaves to send everyone off or more like, return to B building. Now that the procedure is truly underway, you come up behind Hyunjin to give him a pat on the shoulder.

"Wow. You're working," you poke fun at him.

Hyunjin takes your hand and pulls at it, dropping his head to the back to look at you, "Do I look smart?"

"You are smart," you simply confirm with a gentle pat on his cheek.

There's no other reason why Seungmin hired him in the first place if it's not because he’s qualified for the job which includes adequate intelligence.

"And you like smart guys so what are we waiting for?" He says, pressing your palm to his cheek.

"Professor Seungmin," you tell him, seeing that he's making his way back into the main lab with his hands buried in his lab coat pockets.

You hurriedly take your hands away from Hyunjin and take a step back, you immediately get on your perfect posture as his figure enters the room.

"What's the status?" Seungmin asks.

"Everything is up and running fine," Hyunjin immediately responds.

"Vital signs?"

"Normal and stable," you respond from the other end of the desk, watching over the state of the test subject's essential body functions.

Seungmin stayed for another hour until the MNE-Machine successfully erased the first memory. He checks on everything once again to finally leave the main lab and goes to his office to get ready to leave.

You don't want to walk in on him changing his clothes so you give it a few more minutes and decide to take the flower bouquet out of the fridge before you forget. As usual, you knock three times on his door but this time, you wait until he lets you in. You knock again when he doesn't respond, afraid that he's still changing.

"Come in!" Seungmin says from inside his office.

Seungmin is tying his tie in front of the mirror when you come in, you stop right by his desk and inform him of the latest status of the test.

"Keep watching it closely while I..." his words trail off as he slides the knot up to the base of his shirt collar. He turns around and takes the suit jacket off of its hanger, swiftly putting it on. He's doing a mundane thing yet it's such a mesmerizing sight for you.

You notice the back of his collar is folded and you reach for it, reflexively fixing it for him. Now that you have crossed into his personal space, you may as well continue by helping him flatten the lapels of his suit jacket. You can feel his eyes on you as you fix on his tie and you try so hard to ignore it.

It's better to say sorry than ask for permission.

You quickly take a step back once you're done and mutter your apology, "I'm sorry."

Instead of scolding you, Seungmin takes his briefcase and coat with him, then heads to the door. You scramble to chase him out of his office and give in once you know that he's going to the main lab to check everything before he leaves.

Seungmin returns with Hyunjin and you hurriedly grab the bouquet you bought for him. You doubt he'll accept it but what's the harm in doing something nice?

Hyunjin pushes the button on the elevator and it arrives in a minute. Not giving him a chance to reject your gift, you wait until the last moment to give it to him.

"Congratulations on your wedding anniversary, Professor," you mutter as quickly as possible, handing the bouquet right into his hand.

Seungmin looks at the flowers in his hand, then looks at you, seeming like he wants to say something but refrains.

"Congratulations, Professor!" Hyunjin also congratulates him as he stands next to you.

"Have a great night!" He cheerily adds with a bright smile and enthusiastically waves his hands at him.

As the elevator doors close, you feel like letting go of something that you can't get back. It's funny that it feels like that when he's not yours in the first place.

The hand rests around your shoulder and snaps you out of your head. You turn your head to find Hyunjin slyly smiling at you.

"Ready to party?" 

-

The parent is finally out of the house and Hyunjin can throw a party in the house.

As promised, he brought a box of things that he deemed as ‘essentials’ that he's been keeping it hidden in the cabinet in the pantry.

"Okay, impress me!" You tell him, standing across the table to see what he bought for tonight.

Hyunjin puts on a cocky smile, he's confident with what he does as he places the box on top of the counter with a low thud. First, he takes out all the bags of chips and cans of soda.

One corner of your mouth curls higher than the other, seeing that he bought all of your favorite snacks. You take a bag of chips and waste no time to tear it open.

"Not the time to be impressed yet," he says to you with the cocky smile still dancing on his face.

You shrug and continue munching on potato chips as he introduces you to the other essentials.

Hyunjin takes a bottle of Tequila next and you respond with a nod of approval. He continues with another one, a tin can, and slides it in front of you.

"Mints?" You ask in utter confusion.

This time, Hyunjin gives you a shrug. He makes you open the tin can to find two rolled joints inside. He sees another smile of approval rise on your pretty face.

Hyunjin suppresses his laugh as he fishes out the last thing, he holds it in his hand and puts it in the middle of the counter.

Your eyebrow raises at the sight of a box of condoms, "This is essential?" 

Hyunjin rests both hands on top of the counter, "If you want to do it raw, I'm more than okay with it," he jokingly says.

You pick it up and observe it like you have never seen it before, reading the back of the box like it’s a foreign object to you.

"Regardless we'll have sex or not, a condom is essential," Hyunjin adds.

You snort when you notice something on the box of condoms, "Are you sure you bought the right size?"

He snatches it from you and puts it back into the box. He stares at you and says, "You have no idea what's coming to you."

You chortle at his words and uncap the bottle of alcohol, "Let's get this party started, shall we?"

He stops from you from getting the bottle of Tequila, "No, wait, wait, now is the time for you to be impressed," he says.

You tip your head to the side, "What?"

"I have Tim from security bring us pizza when he takes his shift tonight," Hyunjin announces with a pride smile.

The facility is in the countryside and ordering food is hard because it takes at least half an hour to get here, even if they are willing to go that far, the food gets cold by the time they get here.

"Now, I am impressed," you remark with a sly smile.

As a start, you both have a few shots of Tequila before mixing it with soda and drinking it from your respective mugs. The party continues in the main lab as Hyunjin has to message Seungmin on the current status. Hyunjin chooses to send a text instead of calling, afraid that he interrupt the romantic dinner.

Hyunjin glances up from his phone to find you leaning against the desk, reading something on the computer. With your lab coat off, he can see the way you are dressed for tonight. Not sure if it's because of what he asked but you indeed dressed nicely tonight. You wear a blouse and a plaid skirt, and you rarely wear a skirt to work, but the one that intrigues him is the black tights you're wearing.

Fuck leaving so little to the imagination, he likes having a lot of imagination when it comes to you. He can imagine a lot of scenarios just from seeing the way you bend against that desk.

You take a small sip of your alcohol then look over your shoulder, "Do you know why I can't open this file?"

Hyunjin immediately comes to your aid, standing behind you until his chest meets your back and maneuvering your hand that is holding the computer mouse instead of doing it himself. His head hanging next to yours to find out the problem of why you can't open the file and he discovered that it's locked.

"You need an access key to open this," he simply answers.

"You're saying Professor Seungmin is the only one who can access the file?"

He quietly gulps air before answering your question, "Yes."

You turn your head to the side to look at him and he can't keep his calm when your lips are only inches away from him.

"Can we have that joint now?" You sweetly ask with your alcohol-tinted breath brushes his lips.

He softly smiles and answers, "Of course."

Hyunjin lights up the end of the rolled joint and takes a drag, passing it to you after while letting out a long curl of white smoke out of his mouth.

"Why do you think he locked it?" You ask as you take the joint from him.

"I don't know," Hyunjin honestly answers with a shrug, "Maybe it's his new project or something."

You take a long, slow drag and pursed your lips as you exhale the smoke, filling the room with the sweet-smelling smoke.

"I found it in among the data files of previous tests," you tell him, passing the joint to him.

You turn around to face the computer again to show him where you find the locked files, "See?"

It's supposed to be a fun night and discovering what's inside that locked files isn't a part of the plan. Hyunjin needs to intervene so when you're about to take your turn to smoke, Hyunjin keeps it tugged between his teeth and rolls his chair away from you.

"Hey!" You shout in complaint.

"Puff and pass!" You remind him of the unwritten rule of smoking pot.

Hyunjin shakes his head and reclines on his chair, "Come and get it," he says, smoke escapes his mouth as he speaks.

Once you come close enough, he pulls you until you topple and have you sitting on his lap. You don't seem to mind, you get comfortable instead, resting your back on his chest and let his arms wrapped around you.

You take the smoke from his mouth and finally take your turn, "You think he'll be back soon?"

Hyunjin's forehead wrinkled at your random and sudden question, "Professor Seungmin?"

"Yeah," you answer, handing the joint back to him.

He takes it from you but keeps it between his fingers, "Uhm... I don't know. Rich people tend to take their dinner seriously, they probably have a full-course dinner, and after that... sex," Hyunjin emphasizes the last word.

He then takes a quick drag and looks the other way to exhale the smoke, "God, I hope he gets laid. Man needs to lighten up!"

He passes the joint to you even though there's not much left of it but you refuse by shaking your head. He finishes it and throws the butt into his empty can of soda.

"Don't worry. We'll have time for a foreplay or two," he jokingly says with his hand rubbing down your arm.

You laugh at that and his body shakes along to your crisp laughter. You turn your head and there it goes again, your lips merely inches away from him.

This palpable sexual tension... Hyunjin can't take it anymore yet he does nothing but keeps staring at your face.

"Are you going to keep staring and not kiss me?" You say but it seems like you're reading his thoughts out loud to him.

You take his glasses off and toss them away, "Or do I have to do it for you?" 

Your hand curves around his neck and you angle his head towards you, not hesitating to lean in first to kiss him.

Hyunjin always thought that when the two of you kiss, he imagined it would be romantic but it's not, it feels way better than that. It feels natural and familiar like he has kissed you a thousand times, like your lips belong to be kissed by his lips.

And you know what? Fuck romantic kisses.

Hyunjin wants kisses that feel right like this, tightening his hold around you and engulfing you in his warm embrace as he deepens the kiss. The more he kisses you, the more he can't stop, and worse is, you keep trying to quench his endless thirst.

The sound of his phone ringing shatters the intense moment, he keeps kissing you and mutters against your lips, "Let's pretend none of us hear it."

You chuckle and slowly pull away, "It could be Professor Seungmin," you say, then console him with a quick peck on the lips.

"Mmh... 'kay," he heavily sighs.

Hyunjin reluctantly reaches for his phone on his desk while his other arm is still wrapped around you, not letting you get off his lap. He accepts the call right away and talks on the phone, it's Tim from security telling him his pizza is here. He ends the call with another sigh.

"I have to go and get our pizza," he pouts at you.

"Then go and get our pizza," you simply resolve.

Hyunjin holds you close and allows himself to plant a kiss on your neck. He stays there for a moment with his head buried in your neck, getting himself drunk in your heavenly scent.

After a moment, he forces himself to let you go, "Guess I have to go," he says in defeat.

You take that as a cue to get up from his lap and immediately smooth down your skirt, "I'll be waiting here."

Hyunjin ties his hair into a messy bun and takes his phone with him, in case Seungmin is going to call him to ask for the current status.

"Don't go anywhere, okay?" He warns you.

You lean your hips against the desk and take a sip of your alcohol, "Okay."

Hyunjin heads to the door and then turns around by the doorway, "We'll continue the kiss when we get back."

You manage to not spit your drink and swallow it before answering, "Okay."

Impulsively, Hyunjin rushes to you and places a long peck on your lips. He then breaks into a run, not giving you time to change your mind about continuing the kiss.

-

It's going to take at least 20 minutes for Hyunjin to pick up the pizza to and fro.

As you wait for him, you're going to your desk to check on a few things, and then you see Seungmin's office and get intrigued to get in there. You're not going to steal anything, you just want to take a look around and perhaps, get a few hints on what Seungmin is working on.

You've seen the books on his shelf one too many times so you come to his desk because that's where you usually get any hints. It's either something he randomly jot down on his notebook or the journals he's studying.

Seungmin happens to have a stack of them on his desk, you're going through them one by one, only reading the front page to see what it's about and moving on to the next one. However, between those scientific journals, you find a different file. You open it to see that it's a lease statement whether he wants to continue the contract for another year or not.

The first thought that comes to your head is that maybe Seungmin bought a nice beach house as a wedding anniversary gift but why did he rent it? He's more than capable of buying a property, especially a house with only one bedroom that—

Wait, what if they've been living separately? You check the address and find that the conclusion is rather implausible. It's two hours of drive, commuting from there and here would be tiring. 

The faint sound of the elevator chimes open can be heard from his office, it seems like Hyunjin has returned from picking up the pizza. You tidy up the stack and put them back where they belong, then quietly leave his office. You can hear Hyunjin calling for your name.

You jog to meet him in the pantry, "Smells nice!"

"Where were you?" He asks, opening the fridge to get another bottle of soda.

"Bathroom," you lie since it’s easier then refill his mug with more alcohol and Hyunjin pours soda after.

It must be the effect of the recreational drug you smoked earlier that makes the pizza taste exceptionally delicious and the next thing you know, you already ate three slices of them. Hyunjin has been so quiet and it's because his mouth is full of food. He smiles at you as you catch him taking a big bite out of his pizza.

"Hyunjin eats so well!" You coo, addressing him in the third person and poking at his cheek with your index finger, treating him like a little baby to annoy him.

"Do you have any memories you want to erase?"

The question just sort of pops into your head and you are kind of curious to know his answer. You pick up another slice and alternate it with a sip of your spiked soda in between bites.

Hyunjin slows down his chewing, he puts down his pizza slice to grab his drink, and takes an earthly sip, "Maybe that one time I pissed my pants during the school field trip," he answers.

"How old were you?"

"Second grade."

You take a small bite of your pizza and ask, "What happened?"

"I got bitten by a spider," he answers.

"And how did you piss your pants?"

"Because I'm afraid of spiders," he innocently answers.

You burst into laughter and have a hard time swallowing your food after, you wash it down with your Tequila soda to help.

"But I'm not sure I wanted to erase it though," Hyunjin adds, adding more alcohol to his mug.

You give up on finishing your pizza slice and put it back in the box, "Why is that so?"

"That day, I found out I'm allergic to spider venom," he answers.

You scrunch your nose in perplexity because it's bad experiences, one after another and he chooses not to erase it,

"Why not?"

"Then I would forget that I'm allergic to it," he simply answers.

You don't get enough explanation from him so you keep looking at him with a questioning look on your face.

"What if I get bitten by a spider again and I don't have the knowledge that I'm allergic to spider venom?" Hyunjin lays out a scenario for you.

"Well, yeah..." you nod in agreement as the logic in his answer registered into your head.

"I could have died," Hyunjin dramatically adds with a squeeze on your shoulder.

"I get it, I get it," you answer, half chuckling at him.

Hyunjin takes a long sip of his drink and gasps once he swallows it all down. He leans on the counter and leaves not so much space between your faces.

"But think about it..." he says.

You nod, ready to listen to what he's about to say.

"Life would be boring if we only remember the good memories," he says.

That simple notion speaks so much and when you think Hyunjin couldn't be more profound than that, he comes with another remark.

"There wouldn't be good moments in the first place without the bad ones too."

Hyunjin lets a moment pass in silence to let those words sink into your head and you're indeed still processing them. He makes a good point that you can't add anything to that. You can't believe that Hyunjin has left you speechless.

But looking at the test subject, going through the procedure to have their bad memories erased doesn't mean that they're being cowardly. They have must thought these things through before deciding to volunteer as a test subject.

“But when you look at babies, they’re so pure and free because they come into this world with no memories. And adults are… a mess. They’re sad, depressed, and anxious and have phobias, and Professor Seungmin, he makes them all go away,” You deliver your opinion.

Hyunjin nods in agreement and that regardless of everyone’s stand on whether they want to erase their memories or not, the work all of you are doing here helps people.

-

"They're on their sixth, yes," Hyunjin speaks into the phone as Seungmin calls the office for a status check.

"Vitals?" He glances at you.

You hurriedly hover to the other end of the desk to check and give him a thumbs-up.

"Pulse rate, respiration, BP, all stable," he informs.

The call ends in the next second and Hyunjin places the handle of the phone down, he leans against the desk, panting as if he has just run a mile. It seems like you both have sobered down after munching on pizza together. You exchange a look at each other and break into a smile at the same time.

"Card game?" Hyunjin offers.

"Sure."

You can taste the imbalance of the alcohol and juice ratio you put into your mug but you need it to fuel yourself for the card game.

Hyunjin shuffles the card in his hands and splits the deck into two even stacks, he pushes one at you and draws the other closer to him.

"Whoever draws the smaller card value, loses," he explains the game rules.

You take a gulp of your drink and ask, "And when I lose...?"

He ties his hair into a ponytail and puts his hand on top of his card stack, "Whoever loses has to take a piece of their clothing off," he says with a devilish smirk that makes him more attractive.

It's obvious that Hyunjin has been wanting to play this game, the excitement is drawn on his face and somehow, it makes him more adorable, you can't help but smile.

"Are you sure you split the card evenly?" You jokingly accuse.

"You're welcome to shuffle your cards if you want," Hyunjin calmly responds, then sips his canned soda.

You laugh at how he gives you the side eyes, "When do we start?"

"Eager, are we?" Hyunjin says that it's him who's been anticipating this.

Hyunjin rubs his hands together before placing his hand on top of his deck of cards and pinches a card in between his fingers.

"Ready?" He asks.

You slide the cards down the table and intensely look at each other before turning it over, revealing the cards at the same time. A gasp escapes your mouth as your 7 of Heart card beats his 2 of spades. You prop a hand under your chin and wait for him to do his punishment as he lost this round.

It doesn't faze him, he takes his sweater off and tosses it onto the empty chair next to him. He's wearing a plain white t-shirt underneath and he rolls the short sleeves up to his shoulders, exposing the muscles on his arms.

The next round is won by Hyunjin as his 9 of hearts card beats your 6 of spades. You calmly take your blouse off and hang it on the back of your chair.

Your Jack of Diamonds forces Hyunjin to remove his t-shirt next and you didn't expect him to have a toned body considering that you always find him sitting on his chair and working in front of the computer. You try not to be obvious that you're ogling him but he catches you looking already, so...

"And you've been hiding that under your oversized clothes?" You poke fun at him.

He coyly shrugs in response to you and tidies his deck of cards, "Want to switch decks?"

It seems like a trap because your cards have been doing good and switching decks may switch your luck too.

"No. I like my cards," you refuse his offer with a smile.

He shrugs again and this time, his Jack of Clubs won against your Ace of Diamonds. He triumphantly smiles and crosses his arms watching you getting off your chair to unzip your skirt. You take a step away from the counter to shimmy the skirt down your legs. It feels wrong to be this exposed in the pantry of your workplace.

"You sure you don't want to switch?" He offers again with a lopsided grin.

It's tempting but you trust that your cards will bring you luck, you shake your head and take another card from the top of the stack.

"How about I reveal my card first?" Hyunjin daringly offers.

"Okay, sure," you coyly agree, letting him flip open his card first.

His long fingers are holding the edge of the card and at once, he turns it over, revealing a 9 of hearts. It is supposed to be easy to get a card higher than that. Oddly, you suddenly lost the confidence you had in your cards a minute ago. You put on a calm face and flip the card, not looking at it until you let go of your hand.

"Fuck!" You lowly curse at your 7 of clubs.

You let out a low sigh as you’re about to do your punishment and reach your hand to the back to unclasp your bra. You maintain eye contact with Hyunjin as you let the bra straps slide down your shoulders. In one swift moment, you take the bra off and let it join your pile of clothes on the back of your chair. You lean back and see Hyunjin smiling ear to ear.

"Christmas came early for you, huh, Hwang Hyunjin?"

It doesn't even bother him that you called him by his full name which he dislikes. He's enjoying his triumph, his tongue is slightly sticking out on the corner of his mouth as he smiles.

"I think it is," he says.

Instead of showing him your defeat, you feel motivated to win the next round. You put all of your hair to one side and lean onto the table, slapping the next card on the table.

"Want to raise the bet?" You challenge him.

One of his eyebrows raises in intrigue, "What are you proposing?"

"Whoever loses next has to take two pieces of clothing," you answer with a daring smirk.

It's a fair game since Hyunjin has only his jeans and his underwear on and so are you, with your tights and underwear.

"Let's raise the bet," Hyunjin calls to your bluff.

"I'll reveal my card first," you dare yourself even though you have no idea what card you're keeping under your hand.

"Be my guest," Hyunjin delightfully says.

You hold his gaze and flip the card, surprising yourself with a Queen of hearts. You can almost taste that sweet victory knowing that Hyunjin needs a King to beat your card. However, Hyunjin is looking nowhere near your card and you know well enough where he is looking.

You purposely lean forward on the table, presenting him a clearer view of your chest then tap your fingers on the table, "Ground control to Major Tom!" You summon his consciousness back to reality.

After a while, he finally looks away and immediately takes a sip of his can of soda to gain some sense back into his head.

"It's your turn," you remind him, propping a hand under your chin and waiting for the grand reveal.

Hyunjin clears his throat and puts his focus back on his card, he's fiddling with his card. He realizes that he's in a predicament.

He holds the card in his hand and tosses it upward, showing a Jack of Heart which means you won this round. You take a sip of your drink in celebration and victory indeed tastes so sweet.

Hyunjin reluctantly gets off his chair, he finishes his can of soda first before reaching for the waistband of his jeans. He begins by unbuckling his belt then slowly, he unzips the fly of his jeans and it's instantly loosening around his dainty waist.

"Wait, wait," you abruptly interrupt him from his stripping show.

You get off your chair and lean your side against the counter, "On a second thought... you can keep your pants on," you say.

Hyunjin looks rather flabbergasted by the turn of the event, he stands there with his jeans hanging open, "You can't do that!" He protests.

You calmly sip your drink and reply, "Oh, yes, I can."

Hyunjin rests his hands on the counter and looks at you, "You have to see!" He insists with his eyebrows furrowed.

You shake your head and pretend to not care, "Nah. I'm losing interest."

He takes a step closer at you, "Once you see, you will be interested," he boldly remarks with a cocky smirk.

You scoff and put down your empty mug, "Still not interested," you shake your head again.

Hyunjin inhales air and places his hands on each side of his waist, "You have to see!"

"No!" You refuse while half laughing.

You see Hyunjin about to take another step toward you but before he can do that, you turn to leave the pantry.

"You have to see!" He shouts as he follows you.

"No!" You shout back and immediately break into a run. 

You're squealing as he chases you but you know well enough that you will likely lose against his long legs. That doesn't stop you from running, holding your breasts with your hands as you make a turn in the direction of the staff lounge and Hyunjin catches you right as you're about to enter.

With the absence of lights, you can see the glimmer of the city lights from afar.

Hyunjin pushes you to the wall, he grabs both of your hands and pins them above your head as he presses his nose into your ear.

"I got you now," his breath feels hot in your ear.

When you tilt your head to look at him, his lips immediately capture you in a kiss, a kiss that consumes you whole and makes you feel hot all over.

He drops your hands around his neck and that way, he can freely roam your body, feeling the smoothness of your skin under his fingertips.

He puts his arms around you and draws you impossibly close while his mouth is busy lathering yours, his tongue is prying open your mouth, wanting to taste you more and more.

As much as you want to keep kissing him, you have to let go to catch some air and fill your lungs with oxygen.

Yet Hyunjin uses the opportunity to kiss you somewhere else, dragging his plush lips down the column to your neck, and from there, he starts a trail of kisses down your front.

He kneels in front of you with his fingers tugged at the elastic band of your black tights, he looks up at you and in the dark, you can see his eyes like two gleaming marbles.

Slowly, he pulls the tights down and you hear the faint whimpers escaping his mouth as he keeps pulling it down your legs.

The silence that hangs in the room only intensifies the tension, it's so quiet that you can hear your ragged breath as Hyunjin successfully takes your tights off.

He keeps looking at you with his wide, lustful eyes as his hands climb up your legs. He slowly leans in, landing a soft kiss on your inner thigh to earn a low whimper out of you.

Wanting to hear that soft whimper again, Hyunjin places another kiss on the other one, higher and closer to where you want him the most.

Just like he reads through your mind, Hyunjin drags his mouth higher and kisses your clothed core. You grab a fistful of his hair as he presses another kiss with his nose rubbing against your clothed core and then he softly inhales air.

The breath he lets out between your legs feels hot and it sets your body alight with desire yet you feel more alive in this heat.

Hyunjin opens his mouth wider and takes more of you, his wet mouth dampens the thin fabric of your underwear and all you can do is whimper at how erotic this very scene is.

Then he stuck his tongue out and starts to trace your clit through the fabric, repeatedly running his tongue in circles that it begins to pulsate under his slick tongue.

Your legs are wobbling and you can only hold onto his head and shoulder to keep you steady as he keeps his mouth buried between your legs.

Impatient to taste you, Hyunjin puts your underwear to the side and lifts your leg, putting it over his shoulder so he can dive deep into your wetness.

You keep your back close to the wall with your hands in his dark locks, tugging at it when the pleasure gets too overwhelming.

"Oh!" You gasp as Hyunjin inserts one digit inside you and not long after that, he adds another digit.

His fingers and mouth are moving in sync to give you immense pleasure, making the knot in your stomach tighten and your hands tugging harder at his hair.

Unknowingly, your hips start moving against his mouth, riding his face as you please as your hands keep his head between your legs.

"I'm close, oh, I'm close!" You breathlessly tell him with your eyes barely focused on him.

Hyunjin opens his mouth wider and runs his tongue between your folds before sucking on your clit, taking you to your high so that a loud moan falls out of your open mouth and echoes in the room.

Mischievous, Hyunjin teases you by touching your sensitive bundle of nerves, lightly circling it with only his fingertips.

"You're having fun, huh?" You look down at him and gently twist his ear as a way to get back to him.

In the dim light, you can see he's grinning at you with his face wet around the mouth from your essence. You pat his head and place his hand on the strap of your underwear.

"Help me take this off, mmh?" You seductively ask, turning around on your feet to face the wall.

Hyunjin wastes no time tugging his fingers on the waistband of your underwear and pulls the soaked underwear down, then off your legs.

You shiver as his fingers lightly graze the side of your thighs and the back of your legs. As you press the side of your face on the cold surface of the wall, Hyunjin starts placing kisses on the back of your thighs and he goes upward.

Eventually, his mouth lands on your ass cheek and he playfully bites at it, letting out a laugh knowing that you enjoy it.

"Go ahead. Bite the other one," you encourage him with a laugh.

He's going to do it with or without your permission anyway as he immediately bites the other cheek. From there, he continues his trail of kisses up to the nape of your neck.

His arms around you, touching your body and kneading on your breasts as his mouth busy planting ferocious kisses on your neck and shoulders.

It's rather sensual that he pinned your naked body against the wall when he still has his jeans on yet you can feel his member poking through the fabric and rubbing against your rear.

"Mmh..." you hum as his fingers circle your nipple.

You turn your head to the side only to let him capture your lips in a hungry kiss where his teeth almost collide with yours.

"Ouch!" You yelp as he pinches on your nipple while he smiles in satisfaction.

You turn around to face him and put your arms around him, not worrying that you'll fall when you have his arms tightly wrapped around you.

Without breaking the kiss, you maneuver his body, pushing him in the direction of the sofa until he finds himself plopping down and you let yourself sit on his lap.

You take a moment to catch a breath and look at him, seeing him this up close, in this light, hit differently. With the moonlight shining through the big window and casting a glow on his head, Hyunjin looks so ethereal.

"You're so beautiful," Hyunjin says, taking the word out of your mouth.

You smile at his praise and lean in to deliver your gratitude with a kiss, a kiss that takes things further. As your lips are busy lathering his, your hand makes its way down his body and slides it into his boxer.

You delightfully hum against his lips as you wrap your hand around his swollen member which you take out of its confine, letting his erection sprung free.

With your own eyes, you can see how impressive his size is and glance at him, "Now I know you bought the right size," you mutter with a seductive smile.

"Told you," Hyunjin says with a sexy smirk.

You sit close to his crotch, wanting to feel his cock against your cunt and wetting it with your essence while you keep stroking at it.

"I uh..." Hyunjin's words trail off as you rub his tip with your thumb.

"Yes?" You breathlessly ask.

"I have to get the uh... I have to get the condom," he stammers, almost couldn't finish the sentence as you rub his tip between your folds.

"You said you're okay doing it raw with me," you tease.

He drops his head to the back and you can see him swallow air with the way his Adam's apple bobs in his throat. He then shakes his head, "Don't think that's a good idea."

You tip your head to the side and pout, "Why not? I'm on the pill."

Hyunjin shakes his head again, he stands firm on his principle even in the trying of times. You cup his jaw and then plant a long peck on his lips.

"Go get that condom," you mutter.

He slowly opens his eyes as you pull away from the kiss, "You're not going to change your mind, right?"

You softly laugh at his words and even though you feel bad to tease him more, you can't help yourself.

"Uhm... maybe, I don't know," you jokingly say with a shrug.

He grips at your waist and pouts, his lower lip jutting out more than his upper lip. He's so adorable that you can't stop yourself from pecking his lips again.

You get off his lap and sit on the sofa, "I won't change my mind," you tell him.

Hyunjin can't shoot up from the sofa faster, sending his jeans drops and pools around his ankle, he hurriedly kicks it away, "I'll be back in a minute," he says.

-

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[catboxcoffin]

On Furniture

(Apologies for discursive definition-talk..)

I believe the label of ‘furniture’ itself, like anything that isn’t given a complete answer, to host a catbox of meanings, so I’ll list some thoughts and categorize them by factual/thematic v.s. (meta-)fictional. I am separating these categories based on the word’s two ‘origins’: [1.] the ‘in-universe’ coinage; and [2.] the first usage within the episodic structure.

Regarding/defining categories:

Factual/Thematic:

The canon, chronological storyline [1.] underneath the story’s presentation tends to connect more to the Factual—I use this term to refer to the material events upon which everything else is built (‘Prime’) because Umineko likes to play with the word ‘Truth.’ Extra-gameboard events are as close to ‘factual’ as we can hope for, as they should occur outside of the Catbox. I willfully ignore the gestures pointing otherwise, as that would completely ruin the entire game’s truth-search, but I will concede differing ‘perspectives’ as a means of obscuring, and stories told by catbox pieces to be dubious. Literal and Thematic are not oppositional here; all metaphor/hyperbole/concepts in this category are rational extensions of the in-universe ‘reality’ because they remain as such—by this I mean that they are not visualized as chairs or rabbits, but instead concepts as intuitive as love and evil that exist among the world's inhabitants. Although these themes are delicately woven into the meta-fiction, they are born from ‘reality,’ not personified from a third source or a tool within the game.

2. (Meta-)Fictional:

The story’s presentation [2.] aligns more with the subjective, fantastical elements within the story. Considering the nature of an ‘endless witch’ and voyager witches in general, the Meta-World falls into this category as well (Also... take my usage of 'Meta' lightly—I am referring to fiction-within-fiction and the common term for the worlds, not asserting that Umineko is an effective work of MetaFiction). The gameboards in their entirety cannot logically exist without Meta interference, because their planes often (arbitrarily) merge. To simplify the discussion I’m treating the layers somewhat like this: —> (Note: it would take me ages to map out a consistent meta layer system for Umineko, so bear with the simplicity)

Prime - Umineko’s ‘real’ universe. The fragment of authored message bottles and (pardon my presumption) Ange/Eva’s survival. + What can reasonably be gleaned chronologically from the following layer (2) along with flashbacks.

Gameboards and the pieces within them. Were written with an intended purpose & elements of reality. In order of importance: 1, 2 > 3, 4 > Chiru

The Meta-World 1. Where Battler and Beatrice fight & the presentation/narration of the board. Seems to seep into every other layer somehow. Hypothetically contains Yasutrice as-author

The Meta-World 2. Whatever the hell was going on with Featherine and Ange reading about MW1. Arguably any extra-catbox people (voyager&endless witches of the future) contribute to this layer.

My Factual-thematic category focuses nearly entirely on layer 1, with extrapolation from persistent themes/discussions in 2. My (Meta-)fictional category encompasses layers 2 & 3. 4 can be relevant but I largely dislike using it for theories. In other words, category 2 is everything that is non-factual, meaning mostly presentation and interpretation.

I. Factual / Thematic

The in-universe coinage of ‘furniture’ is only disclosed in Reqiuem. I find this to be an interesting choice considering the inverted ‘answer sheet’ theme of EP7; Ryukishi is handing us a short, retrospectively logical explanation, but its brevity leaves much to be interpreted.

"This body that isn't even capable of love...!! / What's...what's the point in living like that?! / This isn't a Human's life...!! / It's like being furniture!! / That's right, I'm...furniture...!!"

The term is suddenly flipped on its head. Prior, furniture was presented as unable to love because it was furniture (implied to be status-based, seemingly just an effect of inferiority). However, it’s the other way around: one is furniture because it cannot love. The condition of the body precedes & defines worth. Unlike the dramatized, bodiless nature of Beato’s fantasies, this solution is grotesque and earthly. Being physically alienated from the universe of two makes one sub-human. Yasu-Shannon-Kannon’s—I’ll use ’YSK’—mutilated organs make ‘them’ (collective, not gender-neutral) unable to form a sexual union with any of their respective partners. Shannon cannot fulfill the marital duty of motherhood or even sex with George, Kanon is literally impotent, both physically and emotionally/volitionally in his pursuit of Jessica, and Yasu is so alienated from the feminine ideal that she cannot allow herself to ‘exist’ without performing through the former two (&Beatrice). None of them are sexually ‘complete.’

Continuing the material interpretation, its application to Genji is obvious: He loyally serves Kinzo as a friend and confidant, possesses a flamboyant, flirtatious fictional counterpart, and remains unmarried with a certain sterility towards women... He is gay. Blatant subtext aside this answer also ties up some of my personal qualms with his characterization. His senseless, sociopathic dedication to the head and his successor, complete unwillingness to intervene regarding Kuwatrice, and legitimate desirelessness can at least partially be humanized by lolgayforkinzo… If anything, a possible envy of Beatrice(s) could have solidified their doom. This unrequited love makes Genji too ‘sexually incomplete.’ While not literally mutilated, there is metaphorical castration in being a sexual minority. Kinzo would never love him, and I doubt Genji even respected himself enough to wish for it. He is the other half-universe that complements YSK, and possibly the only one who could begin to understand them. Their dramatically fatalistic tendencies can be narratively justified by their banishment from (yet proximity to) the world of love. There is no purpose in ‘living’ without the single element of life.

On a simpler note, we can also reverse-engineer the label simply based on those excluded. On my first read, ‘furniture’ initially, obviously seemed to be a hyperbolic representation of servitude. Being barricaded from the rest of society by class would certainly render one ‘sub-human.’ This, however, is self-eliminating by exempting Gohda and Kumasawa from the label. My immediate conclusion then was that the basis was not physical status, but psychological servitude. KumaGoh always felt far more human to me, which I chalked up to abysmally poor writing of ShKaGenji—a belief I still hold to an extent, but have found ways to cope with. Kumasawa and Gohda are distinctly rebellious, obviously thinking little of their status as servants. They are petty, greedy individuals who fit in well with the Ushiromiyas despite their class differences. Kumasawa is a pathological slacker, and Gohda is a skirt of responsibilities, but this doesn’t make them 'bad' in any sense. They have a passion for and qualms with their employment because it is their job, not their identity. The same cannot be said for SKG, who literally embody their vocation. I could never take their little spats with Beatrice seriously because of how bizarrely complacent they were in the face of reality; to this day I get irritated with searching for satisfactory answers in EP2. Thus, ‘furniture’ can be taken to mean a lack of humanity constituted by a lack of will & individuation.

In a similar (& more personally satisfying) vein, ‘Furniture’ can represent a debt and unbreakable tie to Kinzo. ShKanon and Genji are closer than anyone to being his property, yet they obtain strange respect from him, bearing the One-winged eagle as both a brand and honor—prized possessions. The magical perspective refers to them as his ‘creations,’ which works literally with Yasu/Lion as his paternal creation and Genji-as-servant as a circumstantial creation. Genji owes Kinzo as his savior, his remaining existence eternally devoted to paying back the favor of being spared from death in the seizing of Taiwan. Serving for so long, and so absolutely, definitely degraded his sense of humanity and began to merge his identity with his master’s.

(GEN): ”......We must continue to return the favor we received from the Master...until our final moments."

YSK, on the other hand, are tied to Kinzo by blood. Even in their ignorance and physical distance, and much to their personal detriment, they cannot escape him. They merge with projections of Beatrice without even meeting him, they come to work in the mansion without knowledge of their ancestry, and they become treasured servants seemingly by coincidence. Both ShKanon and Genji have a sense of being Kinzo's above all else, to the point of being distrusted as servants by the rest of the family, an unfortunate state since neither has families of their own. I think of this as a semi-intended and enforced alienation by Kinzo, furthering their already lonely situations for the sake of dependence and loyalty (I do not find this entirely loveless, though…). This loneliness could explain the affective resignation felt by furniture, and their inability to ‘love.’ YSK’s case is cemented in youth due to special treatment both inciting bullying and cultivating a strange relationship between them and Kinzo—Kanon’s mention of shooting with Kinzo and participating in pranks tugs on a heartstring I can’t explain. I am particularly fond of this interpretation…

II. (Meta-)Fictional

There is a stupid amount of facets to furniture in the 'fictional' portion of the story, to the point where it’s difficult to speculate on a cohesive definition. 50 new characters now fall under the label, and they must be encompassed as well. Is the term simply an extension of its connotation in reality, or is it morphed by meta-context like many of the other themes? My vote? Entirely Meta.

As I did earlier, I will begin with the first usage—this time, the coinage within the episodic structure [2.]. Doing this, I found something interesting:

The first use of furniture is Self-Referential and used as a reason to not do something: Kanon not giving a real interactive greeting, or accepting sweets; Shannon not fighting off Battler’s assault. It actually takes a while for the term to be used by non-furniture, making it appear entirely self-imposed. The word is persistently used despite the discomfort and intervention by others. It’s not self-deprecation or knowledge of one’s place; it’s a rule—a rule seemingly ingrained into the fabric of their existence. This is what I assert in this section—it is.

Shannon, Kanon, and Genji to a lesser extent, are wholly pieces owned by Yasu as their author. Not in the sense that Piece-Maria or Piece-Eva are pieces—I mean literal fiction. SKG are Yasu’s characters. Their differentiation from ‘humans’ all hinges on what can be ascribed to their fictionality.

They have an unchangeable position in the world because they are born with a singular practical purpose: to facilitate the gameboards’ culprit. (The strife that appears down the line is due to the conflicting purpose of creation) They cannot obey promises, only orders. Furniture does nothing but rot with the passage of time (…due to the triumph of new truths, I presume). Furniture is a reliable ‘tool,’ aptly fitting for characters who exist to fit neatly into the logic of murders, allowed meta-sentience but not autonomy. Writing about Humans is inefficient; you must cater to their flaws and desires, bound by what they Would or Wouldn’t do. What they are shown to be like is what they are like; the room for duplicity is small in stories corroborated by the Truth of the outside world. To surpass this—to create the perfect culprit without constraints, morals, or ties to reality—one only must ensure they are embodied. Embodied, they must be, by someone who could feasibly be them, due to an intentional lack of information. The benefit of the ambiguous identity is the excusability of multiple identities and secret motives. Yasu, with the least history, is the default, practical culprit for such a scheme. It would be entirely possible for Yasu to have no motive against the family at all, and through a simple desire to write the most effective story possible, just happened to write herself as the villain (though I obviously do not believe this, based on… well… everything).

Genji is not quite ‘fictional’ in the way that I’m claiming ShKanon are, but his nature makes him the perfect culprit-tool. Little can be known regarding prime-Genji aside from his undying loyalty to Kinzo and his successor (and how this makes him starkly morally bereft). Without family or distinct loyalties aside from the aforementioned, he too becomes a motive-mystery, and can be written to feasibly facilitate and assist almost any act if dictated by the ‘Master.’ The role of Master is pretty significant regarding Genji’s utility, considering that if the boards are chronologically honest (which they must be), Kinzo is dead and Yasu is ‘the Master.’ This aggressively recontextualizes most of Genji’s references to being furniture:

(GEN): ".......I believe everything has proceeded as the Master has hoped and arranged for. ...To distrust that would exceed my role as furniture in service to the Master.”

(KAN): "...............I wonder if this means the Master's ceremony has already begun." / (GEN): "...Probably. However, that has nothing to do with furniture like us.”

Obviously, we could read this as commentary on Yasu literally carrying out the murders, but the passivity and strange sentience regarding the ceremony leads me to believe this comes from a character aware of his narrative function. He was Yasu’s original ‘piece’ in reality, remaining her greatest asset in fiction as well. His loyalty was not just feasible, but real. Like ShKanon, he functions as a limitless Queen. Unlike SK, though, he does little to ever interfere or reject his status. Although, there is that scene of him knifing the butterfly…

Before I discuss the other(s)’ fictionality, I have to preface: I will not suspend my disbelief—I do not think ShKanon was a ‘thing’ in prime. I don’t doubt the mental manifestation of Kanon as an ideal, and am even open to a Kanon ‘alter,’ but I cannot accept that YasuShannon regularly dressed up as him or that anyone knew of a Kanon (besides maybe Genji, and even that’s tenuous). I honestly don’t mind the impracticality of performing Kanon, more so the meaninglessness. Within a gameboard ruleset where absurdities being ‘technically possible’ warrants its writing as truth, why would Kanon be real? Wouldn’t that be stripping Yasu of her hilarious authorial tricks? His existence as “extra person without extra body” is the perfect tool for a game, but totally worthless in reality. It’s not unreasonable that he ‘existed’ at Jessica’s school festival as a favor, but I wouldn’t push further than that. Besides, he was 90% covered and still considered strikingly young and androgynous, which only confirms the difficulty of genderswapping in reality. Plus, most of the ‘confirmation’ of PrimeKanon exists among swaths of half-truths (i.e. Requiem stating that a whole separate kid is being summoned out of thin air and Yasu is doing magic). Don’t take this as discrediting his significance, though; Beatrice also isn’t ‘real,’ and she’s more interesting for it.

As for Shannon, she is also largely fake. Yes, the servant named ‘Shannon’ exists in Prime. That is Yasu (or, well, what was left after the Clair-trice fragmentation [Ironically enough, I do actually take this absurd plot point at face value. Because it’s interesting]). However, I truly believe that Gameboard Shannon (GS) is a fictional entity born to serve (exempting murders) the desire for conformity and traditional femininity as much as Kanon was born from loneliness and repression. Again, these facets and desires absolutely existed in reality, I just don’t see them as being sustainable, performed identities. The fact that Battler’s memories of his first love aren’t remotely jogged by GS, and the fact that such memories would make the culprit obvious, insists upon the idea that GS is an intentional construction for the sake of the story. Battler isn’t an idiot, his androgynous intellectual gf just morphed into a moeblob tradwife over 6 years…

I feel like there’s a sticking conception that either: 1. Shannon is literally mentally Beatrice le evil culprit mastermind and is just inhabiting a servant body; or 2. Shannon is completely disconnected and the evil witch is hidden in her head as a separate consciousness and possesses her and seriously fights her alternate personas. I find these neither compelling nor reasonable. As for the first, I really do not feel like labeling a character’s entire real-world existence as a facade, no matter how boring they may be. Besides, it would be quite difficult to earnestly repress your true self enough to love not one, but two other people on the side. As for the second, a split personality is meaningless and nigh impossible when within the board’s logic you can literally kill, resurrect, and swap identities at will. They’re all fiction. That’s it. They’re all Yasu’s characters. Granted, they each contain large, separate amounts of herself, but none are uniquely her. As Zepar and Furfur said, “Their soul is less than a single person.” Existent, in a sense, but not fully ensouled.

It should go without saying that I reject Prime!JessiKanon or and ShaGeorge (for the most part). I think their inclusion in the story is a mechanic to solidify just how disconnected Yasu’s desires and ‘selves’ are, and to provide ample commentary on Love. It’s entirely likely that Yasu fantasized a romantic pursuit of George to distract herself from Battler, but I have a hard time reconciling her character with that sort of activity unless, again, Shannon was a literal split identity. Besides, the love square serves to soften the absolute disingenuousness of ShKanon for being what they are—tools.

However, Shannon does have an undeniable centrality, a ‘Heart’ that the others are not afforded, including Beatrice. My answer for this is that she is the only one truly Embodied outside of the board, pushing her into a strange half-furniture, half-human category. Kinzo is said to have made her by hand without a demon and to have given her a heart. This alludes to her being a child born from flesh, not contrived by circumstance. As always, Kinzo is paralleled by Yasu, who has a similar (meta-)relationship to Shannon.

Gameboard-Shannon does not ‘exist,’ but she surely contains the most real rudiments of Prime-’Shannon.’ Though less than human, she is Named and privileged with a body the others could never have. Her higher existence can also be explained by her being the simplest to potentially ‘exist’ (no gender-bend, no blonde witch). The conflict between her narrative role as Yasu’s piece and the narrative constraints of her ties to reality affords her a special rebelliousness, manifesting as a stronger Heart. Shannon’s bindings to Prime are a hindrance from an authorial perspective, narrowing culpability, but a privilege to the piece herself, who may circumvent fate with her ‘humanity.’ This is why she always precedes Kanon, and why she wins the love duel (Yes, I think the duel was identity>love). I also believe that Yasu envied the conceptual GS (The Beatrice/Shannon clash is enough to evidence this) and that Shannon’s internal strife is a consequence of Yasu’s teetering consideration of embodying her completely—hence the “heart that can know love.” By abandoning her Self and personifying this ideal, she could pursue a love beyond Battler, but it would be a charade. Thus the ‘Shannon’ character was trapped in a dream she wasn’t allowed, with a new purpose outgrowing the old, fighting her own authorship.

“…Burning with infatuation and worried by love, being tempted constantly and eternally with a way out was truly a cruel trial.”

This could easily be read as Yasu’s conception of Shannon—her last way “out.” However, her piece is not allowed to transgress its role, or the catbox games would shatter.

Though I have agonized over it, I don’t think my thoughts here ignore the heart. To understand the nature of furniture, one must deconstruct each character and what makes them human. Metaphors & representation are crucial to Umineko and, by extension, Yasu. The motive compelling one to author iterative ‘selves’ containing neuroses invisible in reality yet contained in one body for the sake of their nature being solved is far more bittersweet than reverse-engineering a split personality because it’s the only way to make the Logick Work. Applying the sentiment of Eva-trice and the black witch, internal conflict may be made comfortable through literal bifurcation, but the mind in reality is painfully united. The possession of multitudes can justify the inability to understand or accept yourself; to love yourself. Many but one.

I consider the Golden Land’s ‘liberation’ of furniture into love & bodies of their own to be the opposite of what it seems—instead of external fabrication, the identities unite cohesively within the single mind, thus allowing them ‘each’ a body and the capacity to love.

TLDR; Furniture in the meta-perspective is the role of a character & narrative tool. Furniture in ‘reality’ is a physical, psychological, and relational condition.

[andhumanslovedstories]

Hey so your post about pain management as a bedside nurse is so important to my own nursing practice that I've considered printing it out so I can have it to hand all the time. So thanks for that. Also, how do you deal with assignments that are busy enough that pain management is harder than it should be? I'm coming up on two years as a nurse and I feel like I take it personally when I am too busy to adequately manage my patients pain. I'm also coming from a newly unionized hospital where the ratios are still horrendous (I do 1:10 on med surg) and I'm hoping once we can enforce our staffing grids it'll be better but idk I'm burning out and I love my job so much and I really respect your nursing philosophy? I guess. Sorry for the word vomit it's been a crazy shift.

I've been trying to think of how to answer this since I got it. It's just such a horrendous ratio. With ten patients a shift, that's like six minutes an hour for each in a fantasy world where there's no charting and everything is exactly where you need it to be. I feel like I don't have great insight into this because the most med surg patients I've had assigned is five. Ten patients to one nurse is just a raw deal for everyone. Like christ no wonder you feel like you're burning out! I'll give you what thoughts I have and hopefully other people can chime in if they have suggestions. But that's such a hard patient load.

When I've been super swamped, I've found that's when being really explicit about your thinking with the patient helps. Like if I have to dash into a room and then dash back out, I'll make sure the board is updated with the next medication time and that the patient knows when the medication is going to kick in. I'll also provide call light parameters. I have a lot of success telling people, "the med should be doing something by 5:30. If I haven't checked in with you by then, and the pain is unchanged or barely changed, hit your call light and we'll try the next step. Also hit your call light if you feel any sudden change, like now you're nauseated or you have a headache or the type of pain changes or something just feels very wrong. Is there anything you need before I step out of the room?"

I like to be explicit about when to call me because I think there's two directions call light usage can go wrong: someone calls all the time, or someone never calls. With someone who calls all the time, I find that telling them when I'll be back and that I want them to call me if I'm not takes away some of that anxiety that can causes some people to call frequently. Often those patients are afraid that if they aren't on the call light, they're gonna get ignored.

For the other type of patient, the one that doesn't call, I want to make explicit that it's GOOD AND NORMAL TO CALL YOUR NURSE WHEN YOU HAVE SYMPTOMS. We've all had that patient at the end of shift who goes, "btw the gnawing pain in my leg is now a 10/10" and you're like "what gnawing pain sir?? you've literally never mentioned it before now?? I don't have any meds for that lemme page super quick????" These patients can get into pain crises easily because they don't ask for help until something is unbearable. In addition to pain crisis bad, it takes a lot more time to deal with something unbearable than it does to deal with something uncomfortable.

On that note, are you spending your very limited time efficiently? To me, that actually means spend more time talking with patients, at least up front. Manage expectations, make sure people know what to expect. Having conversations with patients that are like, "You just had surgery, it's not gonna happen that we get you completely painless. We want to get you to a manageable pain level that allows you to do whatever it is you most want to do this shift." (For me on nights, that's usually sleeping at least a little, but sometimes the realistic goal you make together is that you will feel at some point better than you feel right now.) "You have this medication scheduled, and you have this one available every X hours when your pain is severe. Is there anything you know that helps you deal with pain?"

Also establish if patients want to be woken up for certain prn medications or if they're sleeping, to let them sleep. With some patients, I will advise them to get woken up for pain medication because I know that they're going to need consistent control to avoid a crisis. (Crises take so much time!)

When I'm crunched for time, I'm fond of bringing in an ice pack and being like "if it works, great, if it doesn't, just take it off, either way here it is." Sometimes I'll do the same with a warm blanket. If I know my patient needs to take pills, I'll bring a cup of water with me into the room. If there's a basic prn like melatonin or tylenol that I think they might want, I'll pull them in advance. If the patient doesn't want them, I return them next time I'm in the med room. (Obviously, don't do this with controlled substances. It's super easy to forget to return them, and not returning opioids is one of those whoopsies people get fired over.)

Decision making takes time. Walking to go get stuff takes time. I want to save the time it takes to assess if the patient needs those things and then walk off to fetch them by just having the things already. If your tightest resource is time, be liberal with resources you can spare. If you're stuck with a patient, do you have anyone you can delegate a prn med pass to? Do you know how to do the absolute minimum charting you need to? Do you have flushes and alcohol wipes and whatever other most common things you need? And since you can't hoard time, if you've got some to spare, ask yourself if there is anything you can do now that will save you time later. If you have five free minutes now and an incontinent patient, getting them up to the bathroom now can save you from taking the time for incontinence care and a bed change later on when they've also sundowned and decide they hate everything but most of all you.

So much of this answer I realize is investing as much time upfront as you can, which I realize is so hard when you are so busy. It sucks immensely that prepping takes much less time than not being prepared does when you don't always have time to prep. Plus when you invest that time to pain plan with patients and do small preventative interventions, I think it also provides some psychological comfort that helps with pain. You're letting them know you're invested and you care and you have a plan, even if you don't have all the time you'd like. That can mean better pain control, which can mean needing to spend less time in that room overall, meaning you can save six whole minutes at some point and maybe even, if we're feeling crazy, get a chance to indulge in that greatest of indulgences: just a real leisurely on-shift piss.

[cosyvelvetorchid]

Prompt: Buck and Tommy asking Maddie to be their surrogate.

I LOVED writing this one so much. I may actually add it to Ao3 as a oneshot.

I genuinely made myself cry at the end!

I hope you enjoy it! ❤️

It's funny how life works. You think you have a handle on things; that you know where things are headed, and then God, or the universe or something throws you a curveball. A big, giant, cruise ship shaped curveball, with enough power to turn your life completely upside down and give you exactly what you needed despite you having no idea you needed it.

Buck thought he would spend his whole life on the hamster wheel. The endless song and dance of dating, thinking he'd found someone he could be happy with, then they leave. And he loses enough couch.

Tommy had spent a lifetime hiding. Years of repressing who he was to protect himself. And when he finally came into his own and accepted who he was, it was too late. He'd resigned himself to the fact that he would be alone.

And then the captain of the 118 needs help and 2 people who - somehow despite having the job, the city they live in and people they know in common - had never actually met, flew into a hurricane together and everything changed.

Six months later they're sharing keys to eachothers homes.

One year and Buck is moving into Tommy's house.

And, 18 months in, when Tommy finally comes home from a month in the hospital - including 6 days in a coma where Buck thought he might actually lose the love of his life - after a helicopter crash, Buck barely makes it 5 minutes before proposing.

Two years and they're standing on Tommy's deck exchanging rings in front of everyone they love. They saw no point in waiting - they knew they wanted to spend the rest of their lives together.

Three years in and they want to take the next big step. This one, however, was the biggest. The most terrifying: a family.

They'd spoken to a couple of surrogacy agencies but something was missing. Somehow they made it all seem so clinical. A business transaction. On top of that, in their research they had come across some horror stories of surrogate parents wanting to keep the baby despite it not being genetically theirs.

They talked and talked and talked about what options they had. And then Buck had remember something Connor had said about the reason they chose him as a sperm doner - they wanted someone they knew.

The answer was quite simple really. It was asking the question that was going to be difficult.

Three years and four months in they're sat in Maddie and Chimneys living room, nerves vibrating through they're entire bodies waiting for Maddie to say something.

"What?"

"We want to know if you would consider being a surrogate for us." Buck repeated.

"I.. Buck... I.. that's..." Maddie couldn't quite process what was being asked.

"Look, you know that we've been talking to agencies and trying to find the right one and sure they seem all above board and I'm sure that we could eventually find someone to help us build our family. But then it hit me - there's nobody on earth I.. we would trust to grow and nurture our baby more than you. Maddie you're a wonderful mother and I know that if you did agree to this that he or she would be loved and cared for and protected so much while their growing." He stopped to take a big breath. "But, we know its a huge ask, and you have as much time as you need to think about-"

"Yes." Maddie interrupted.

"What?"

"What?"

"What?"

Buck, Tommy and Chimney all sat forward to look at her.

"Evan, you are the most amazing little brother anybody could ever have. And you've been through so much in your life; so much pain and trauma and, all I ever wanted for you was to be happy. And then I found out you and my stupid husband were going to fly into a hurricane and I was so scared - and mad-" She added scowling at Chimney "-but you came back and not alone." She looked at Tommy fondly. "You found someone who makes you truly happy, and I have never been more proud or happy for you." She wiped a tear from her eye.

"So, if I can do this one thing for you, to make you even happier, then of course I will do it."

Buck wiped his own tears away that had started falling somewhere around the helicopter part.

"Really?" Buck said, not quite believing it. His chin was shaking and more tears threatened.

"Are you sure?" Tommy added. Maddie leant forward reaching out for each of their hands.

"I love you both. I'm sure."

Buck practically through himself at her, enveloping her into a hug.

"Thank you Maddie. For everything. My whole life."

"Hey I wanna get in on this." Tommy interrupted, gently peeling Buck from his sister so he could hug her.

"I don't know what else to say other than thank you. So so much."

Four years and 2 months in and they get the phone call. The bag has been packed by the door for weeks, the nursery decorated for a month and 2 men, wildly in love with other, who couldn't imagine life without the others existence, were on the way to meet they're baby.

***

They chose not to tell anybody that Maddie was in labour. They knew they would get nothing but an outpouring of love, but they wanted to spend a little while - even if it was only a few hours, thanks to Howard i cant keep a damn secret Han - after the baby was born to enjoy the moment as a family. However, there was one person Buck did call.

Bobby arrived at the hospital and sat in the labor and delivery waiting area. After a few minutes, Buck turns a corner; a tiny bundle in his arms wrapped in a pale yellow blanket. Bobby immediately walked over with a smile.

"Hey cap. I wanted to introduce you to someone.. meet our daughter - Brook Maddie Kinard."

Bobby stared at Buck for a moment, not quite fully comprehending what he had heard.

"Brook that.. that was my daughters name.."

"I know." Buck smiled softly. "We wanted to name her after you, and Bobby is a gender neutral name, but having two of you might get confusing, so we chose Brook instead. Is.. is that okay?"

Bobby's eyes filled with tears as he swallowed back the emotion.

"Yeah, kid. Yeah it's okay."

[ykiwrite]

i'm not in love

[bad] description: Wednesday pays you a visit in school

"And this is how you do differential equations guys. Any questions? Do i need to explain it again?" asked the professor of your beloved subject math, sarcastically of course.

"No, no we get it" shouted the entire class collectively already ready to leave in hopes of finishing earlier than intended despite understanding close to nothing before being interrupted by a gem amongst stones.

"Yes, actually can you repeat that part where…"

At that very moment you and every single being in that room let out a disappointed and annoyed sigh. Muffling out every noise surrounding you along with your vision going dark as you rested your head between folded arms acting as a pillow. Might as well take a rest since your phone died meaning no music, no music meaning no other options left except sleep to pass the time.

The bell rang and you were pretty sure everyone right now wished to be people speeding down the hallway heading out. 

"Guys, silence please. Listen to me for a minute, this is very important which i forgot to mention. We'll finish quickly and you got your break."

His rambling, although you were detached from everything could be present up until it got quiet out of the blue. Raising your head and adjusting your vision wondering what's the reason behind the silence until you spotted the reason and made eye contact with it.

Quite impossible to miss the one and only, from head to toe wrapped in black Wednesday, your Wednesday Addams.

"I am sorry for interruption sir, i considered since the bell rang the class is over therefore i may come in."

"Well uh, yes you can but i didn't finish my lecture yet."

"Would you mind if i were to take a seat in the back of the class until it's finally over? I planned on waiting for someone from this class in front of the school but your lectures allegedly prolonged."

"Yes of course, go ahead." said the man whose voice you swore was trembling at one point as he turned around to bring a lecture to an end. "Where were we?", hand hovering above the board pointlessly moving in circles in order to remember. Great, now she even confused him which will make this even longer.

As Wednesday made her way to you, swiftly moving in between rows of desks and chairs people kept turning around once they were out of her vision. Both peripheral and the center one, it's better to play it safe.

"I see how you pay attention in class." was her first words of the day spoken to you when she sat next to your empty seat. Looking at your as well empty white notebook page you couldn't defend yourself.

"Wow, not even a hi and how are you for your beloved girlfriend?" you said faking a disappointed flat tone. "Besides, what are you doing here? I can already see 90% of people in this class won't sleep tonight because of you. I can't afford to pay for therapy bills." 

"That's entirely not my problem. The reason i visited is because Enid told me you didn't answer her text messages." 

(That definitely was not the reason but you let it slide)

"You mean your text messages? I know when you use her phone, Enid doesn't use proper grammar. It screams 'Wednesday'. Also my phone died so that's why."

"Hmmm" she muttered looking you dead in the eye as if interrogating with hope you will break and confess. "I'll take that as an excuse."

"Okay but what about the real reason you're here?" You said giving her a playful smile.

"What are you implying?"

"Just say you wanted to see me so, oh so desperately. It's normal, nothing to be ashamed of. Couples do that in case this is your first time hearing about it." You gave her a wink knowing it will make her roll eyes.

"Dude, is this your friend?" ruined the moment by a guy sitting in front of you that was quiet up until now, unfortunately.

"I mean-"

"I'm the girlfriend. Why?" 

Seeing both of your sour faces he was brave enough to push forward "Listen, i always had a thing for like goth girls so i was wondering if you're free but since you two-"

"Alright guys, class is finally over. I apologize for making you stay longer, i'll make it up to you by shortening next class. See you tomorrow and have a good day."

All of the class shuffling drowned out his attempt for a small talk as both Wednesday and you thanked whatever is lurking out there for cutting it short. Wednesday was visibly close to falling apart from that interaction and it's for the best you leave as soon as possible to prevent any unwanted injuries. Clearly on behalf of the guy.   Eventually getting through the crowd and out in open felt like a wish come true.

"Looook, it's snowing right? The first one this year" you commented eagerly while looking around the sky that's getting darker and darker by each second.

"It's just snow." looking over to your side she feels like you shapeshifted into a child in those few seconds she looked away. She wasn't familiar with this type of werewolves but there's a first time for everything.

"It's also Wednesday today! It must be a sign." you claimed.

"Sign for what?" asked Wednesday completely clueless.

"Oh you know, the "first snow" traditions." quoting with your hands.

"The first snow traditions? If it's something coming from the things you read on the internet or you and Enids highly intelligent conversations-"

"No it's not! It says you're supposed to kiss the loved one on the first snowfall of the year." Looking back to her, asking you "Really?" just above a whisper. She was still wary but how could she not trust you. It's you after all.

Taking a deep breath in she turned to you fixing your winter hat and dusting of snow that has fallen, hands naturally finding their own path down to your face as she allowed herself to relax around you. 

"This better be true" merely an inches of space between two of you. In fact, she wouldn't mind if it weren't the truth.

time skip

"You lied."

"About what are we talking about?"

"About the snow tradition. I can't believe i had to hear it from Enid and her computer that there is no concrete evidence behind the snowfall and a kiss." said Wednesday bringing up your last weeks made up fact.

"And what are you complaining about exactly?" provided no answer. You won against Wednesday, congratulations. 

notes: for the sake of the story pretend you don't attend Nevermore and Wednesday can roam around freely (also no offense for math lovers)

fun fact also: i accidentally deleted this after writing it for hours i almost deleted the app

[seaweed-water]

OKAY

i'm gonna say this final thing on anti-stereks and hope you read through this despite your hatred for the ship.

the number one reason i hear about anti-sterek is: pedophilia/grooming/statutory rape, etc.

my answer to this: when the show first aired, derek's age IN THE SCRIPT was 19 (nineteen... notice how the word 'teen' still exists in that age') by the time the timeline and derek's age got all fucked up, sterek was already set in motion and it was too late. i'm not gonna stop shipping a couple just because the showrunners fucked up.

that means a three-year age gap if stiles is 16 in the pilot. california does not have romeo and juliet laws, so you would be correct that it's technically still considered statutory rape. however, let's not pretend it's uncommon to date someone three years apart anywhere in the world. you're really telling me if you were sixteen and nineteen-year-old derek hale was barking up your tree, you'd say no??

even if it still bothers you, remember: these characters are fictional. just because people enjoy this kind of dynamic in fandom media does not mean they support it in the real world. with this kind of logic, watching silence of the lambs or that one episode of it's always sunny would make a lot of people cannibals. that's just not how art works- it reflects real life, it does not perpetuate the issue. if you disagree, you have bigger things to worry about than a popular ship from a 20-teens young adult television program.

another point anti-stereks like to bring up is they don't believe the sterek fandom was queerbaited.

please see this video and tell me this isn't queerbaiting? this isn't even the worst part of it. when the show was gaining traction, nearly every cast and crew member was on board and used sterek for marketing the show online. no, it wasn't in their official marketing campaigns, but we all know about parasocial relationships at this point and the power they have on a willing audience. this is actually a really great unbiased take on sterek that includes said receipts and it's a very enthralling video, especially on double speed.

another anti-sterek point i see is: i just don't *get* it. y'all are literally feasting on breadcrumbs.

and to that i say: and? let people ship who they wanna ship. is it really hurting anyone? like, an actual human being? no. (also, i disagree with you, because from our side we're feasting at the last fucking dinner mate lol)

in any case, just because you don't agree with something doesn't mean it should be censored. the great thing about the internet is YOU decide what you want to see. it is your responsibility to filter tags or click the X button when you don't like what you see, and it costs nothing, i mean absolutely nothing, to just... not say anything.

[moonydustx]

Love me

masterlist | requests here

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x F!Reader

Summary: a sudden breakup leaves you questioning what could have happened to Bucky, until you discover he just wanted to keep you safe.

Warnings: a little angst, drama, smut ( p in v, f receiving oral, dirty talk) A lot of tears, but with a happy ending. If I left something out, just let me know.

WC: ~ 3k

A/N: Just an excuse to write about make-up sex with Bucky. No beta, sorry for possible errors as English is not my first language. Also, I'm not used to writing smut, but I hope you like it.

Requests here!

"You need to leave." Bucky asked, without even looking you in the eye.

"What does that mean Buck, did something happen?" you tried to touch him, but Bucky dodged your hands. "What is happening?"

"This mission made me think of many things..." he sat in the kitchen chair, Alpine didn't take long to pass between his legs, waiting for a caress. "I wasn't made for this life, for this." he pointed to the small space between you two.

"Wait, what do you mean?" your voice was already trembling when trying to at least understand what was happening. "Are you breaking up with me? Buck, two days ago everything was perfect, what happened? Please, I need you to explain."

"I already told you, I just..." for a second he looked at your face. The thick tears that ran down your cheeks made him feel his own throat close. He would have a few more reasons to hate himself after that. "I can not do this anymore."

"Is this your best explanation?" you charged and he just shrugged.

The noise of your engagement ring hitting the kitchen table bothered him, but not as much as seeing you walk out the living room door without even looking back. For the first time in a while, it was his turn to allow tears to flood his face.

One month, thirteen days and a few hours.

Maybe it wasn't the healthiest thing in the world to count the dates of the last time you saw your ex, the fateful day he kicked your ass.

You wish you were one of those people that you get over easily, or at least pretend to be by posting happy pictures on social media, but that wouldn't be you.

Your type was more to isolate yourself and drown in your own sorrows, which was also not possible due to work. You had to put on your best social mask and move on, even if you still didn't believe a word Bucky had said.

"Chef, there's a visitor for you." Tyler, one of your employees, caught your eye.

Before he even speaks, you can feel him watching you. Everyone there knew something was wrong.

"How urgent?" you ask with zero atention.

"It's an avenger, so I assume this is the most urgent we've ever had at this restaurant."

The knife in your hand fell onto the board, a chill running through your body. If it was Bucky, Tyler would have told you, after all, your ex-boyfriend had already spent a lot of nights accompanying you to the restaurant. Could be news about him, maybe not good stuff.

"Annya, can you take over for me?" you asked, hearing a "Yes, chef!" by far.

Your mind ran through different scenarios, the vast majority without a happy ending, while you took off your tame and cap.

The weight on your shoulders disappeared when you saw Sam smiling, waiting for you at one of the tables. As soon as he got to his feet, you hugged him.

"I thought I wouldn't have the privilege of seeing the head chef."

"Consider yourself privileged then, because tonight promises." you settled into the chair across from him. Despite the smiles and the mild climate, something told you that there was something more. "So, you came to try the new meat."

"No, not today, but I'm still trying. I'm here to talk about Bucky."

"Did something happen?" your heart immediately sped up, all those fears coming back like a flood.

"It's all right with him." Sam reassured you, noticing your posture change at the time. "I have some information and to be honest I can't stand to see him suffer over it any longer."

"Suffer for what?"

"You, what else would it be?"

"Sam, he chose to leave me. It still hurts, but there's nothing you can do about it." you explained, seeing him nod. "But if there's anything I can help you."

"I'd rather tell you and then you choose what to do. On the last mission, some personal information was leaked. About the team, about Sarah, the boys, you."

"Exactly what about me?"

"About you and Bucky, they used that to try and coerce him, that's what made him choose to walk away from you." he handed you a cell phone.

On the screen, a photo of you and Bucky leaving the restaurant at night, another of the two of you running together, another of you in a coffee shop.

"Who got this? I-I... Are we in danger?" you looked around for suspects, for cameras trained on the two of you, but found only people engrossed in their own conversations. "Who made this?"

"It does not matter now."

"How does it not matter?"

"Bucky sorted it out and whoever it is, they won't be bothering you anymore." Shit. Sam doesn't need to say more for you to understand what resolve means. "I'm only telling you this because I know you still like him."

"It takes two to make a relationship, at the very least." you responded right away.

"Just think, wouldn't someone who did all this thinking about protecting you love you?" Sam asked and laughed when he saw your confused face. "Oh man, you two deserve each other."

"Should I talk to him?"

"Well, he's in town, no plans for the next mission. Maybe you should." Sam shrugged and got to his feet. "Now that I've taken this weight off of me, I'll let you work, but I'll be back and you better cook the best steak I've ever had."

"Order noted." you said goodbye to him with a quick hug. "Thanks Sam."

"Don't thank me, I'm just doing my part as the future best man." he winked, eliciting a laugh from you and then left.

The evening at the restaurant, despite being full, seemed to take forever to pass. Amidst the food, your head wandered over the images you'd seen, what Sam had said.

It was past midnight when you got home. You took a hot shower, somehow trying to calm your mind, but that wasn't enough. Before putting on your pajamas, you thought a little more. You couldn't miss that opportunity, even if it was to close that chapter of your life. You got dressed and headed towards Bucky's apartment.

Your legs made you walk from side to side, restless in front of the door, your mind bubbled with possible excuses for a visit during the night. You knocked a few times and got no response, but you couldn't just walk away.

The keys you still had danced between your trembling fingers before they even reached the lock. Upon opening the door, you can see Alpine look up curiously, immediately jumping off the couch and going to tangle at your feet.

"Hello for you too!" you bent down, feeling the soft white hairs by your hand.

The door behind you closed by itself, giving you only the trouble to lock it again. The small apartment seemed untouched since the last time you were there, you took off your three shoes, leaving them next to Bucky's boots, an old habit.

The same brown cushions as the Alpine ration in the same corner. Your photo still next to the TV. If you closed your eyes, you could remember the day that picture was taken, your nervous laughter being on a Ferris wheel and Bucky's arms around your waist.

You've heard Bucky before you've even seen him in full. The murmurs came from the side of the sofa, and as you feared to find him, he was lying on the floor, only a pillow and a sheet protecting his body from the cold floor. He was muttering something incomprehensible, even from a distance you could see the sweat gather on his face.

Trying to get closer without scaring him, you knelt beside where he was lying, Alpine climbed on the arm of the sofa, carefully following your every move.

"Buck?" you called him in a whisper, not having much effect. This time, you chose to touch his shoulder, shaking it slightly, the nickname involuntarily falling from your lips. "Babe?"

As if out of breath, Bucky sat up, catching all the apparently lost breath. It took a few seconds for his blue irises to meet yours, trying to assimilate what was happening.

"Am I still dreaming?" he muttered to himself, it was only when he felt your hand take his that he seemed to realize reality. "You are here?"

"Yes." you replied, settling into a sitting position.

For a few seconds, you chose to just watch him. The disheveled hair and beard had been undone for some time, a little longer than usual. Next to his military dog ​​tag, hung the ring you wore. Regret took over your body for leaving behind.

"Are you well?" his husky voice interrupted you from daydreaming about the two of you's recent past. Trying to push those thoughts away, you just shook your head and tried to do your best on your own, but you already knew him to know that wouldn't convince him.

"I should be asking that. Was I having a nightmare?"

"Yes... I couldn't sleep and in the little time I could, some demons decided to take the time to disturb me." just as you had, he smiled and just like him, you knew that all was not well. "What are you doing here?"

"Needed to see you." your hand that clung to him let go, busy pinching your own hand nervously. "I've been talking to Sam."

"I don't know what he told you, but I can guarantee..."

"Please let me speak." you cut him off, afraid he would ask you to go again. "I know about the threats, I know about everything and I wonder what your head must be like. But what I want you to understand is that I'm okay with it."

"You do not understand."

"You can help me with this. It may sound silly, but, I don't know, I can learn to defend myself, I can spend more time around you. I just don't accept that our story ends like this, for fear of something that still it didn't even happen. I want to try, I want to stay!" you had to pull yourself together after dumping everything on him.

It could just be your impression, or maybe just the street light streaming in through the window, but you could have sworn his eyes were teary.

His hands pulled yours to lock around the back of his neck. In a rush of courage, you crossed your legs over his, settling in his lap. His hands slid down your back, locking onto your waist.

"Say you don't want me, that you don't love me anymore and I'm gone." you whispered and he immediately denied it.

"They said your name, they talked about you, about us and I didn't know how to react." he closed his eyes for a moment, sighing as he felt your fingers tangle in his hair. "I don't think I've ever felt that… that fear. I thought it would be easier to walk away than stick around and let them hurt you. But shit, it hurt. It still hurts not to have you around."

"If you want, I can stay away, just ask, I understand. I just need you to be honest." His hands, previously tied around your waist, went up to your face, wiping away a few tears. "Now if I stay, we'll get through this together. Please..." your voice came out a lot lower than you expected. "Ask me to stay, tell me you still love me."

Your current self was waiting for an answer, yearning to hear those damn three words. Your now self didn't have a shred of regret. If at any time you dared to rethink what had been said, that was left behind when you felt his lips on yours.

His right hand tangled in your hair, deepening his lips on you, while the other kept you attached to him, squeezing your waist. His tongue drew the roof of your mouth, such a good and familiar feeling. God, how you missed that.

"I love you." Bucky's voice murmured, moving just a few millimeters from your lips. "I love you." he stole another kiss, this time even more intense. "I love you, every bit, every part." the kisses began to go down the back of your neck, reaching that part that shivered your entire body.

"Bucky, please."

"Let me love every piece of you, please doll." he asked, letting his tongue run up to the edge of your ear. "Fuck, let me show you that I haven't stopped loving you for a second."

"You have no idea how much I've missed you babe." you whispered, pressing your still covered intimacy against him.

Heat was starting to build up in your core, making it impossible to think. His lips pulled away from yours, only for in a single thrust, he'd jump to his feet and keep you locked in his arms. It didn't take long for you to feel your body against the soft fabric of the bed. Bucky took a little time to admire you, there again. The red eyes, the shy smile that was still there, even after so long.

"I missed you so much, here, in my bed, being all mine" his eyes asked permission to continue and a slight nod was enough for your pants and your blouse to find the bedroom floor.

His metallic hand ran over your shoulder, gently removing your bra, with each new piece of skin uncovered, you felt his lips deposit quick kisses, the urgency to be able to feel each piece of yours.

"Do not tease me." you asked when his lips touched your nipple. The tongue circling the protruding point, eliciting a timid groan from you.

"You are so sensitive, so good." the wet kisses descended towards your intimacy, touching with the lips the thin and humid fabric that prevented it from going exactly where you wanted.

You even tried to fight back, but even strangled, Bucky could hear you.

"Don't hold back, babe." he pulled the fabric off, tossing it along with the pile of clothes on the floor. Distracted lips, sliding down your thigh. "Let me hear you."

"It's dawn Buck, I don't want them to think... Fuck!" his tongue went straight to your clitoris, eliciting a muffled scream.

"What you saying." he pulled back a little, just to admire her intimacy. "All this for me?"

"It's how I missed you." Bucky dove into your intimacy, sucking your spot.

You could already feel your body about to boil. His tongue slowly circling your clit, while one of his fingers slowly entered your pussy, soon becoming two.

Sweet nothings came out of your lips, begging for something you didn't even recognize and it didn't take long for your vision to become blurred when you felt his tongue being replaced by the vibranium hand, the fingers cold as snow in contact with your clit were more than enough to reach your peak.

"Don't stop, please, please Bucky!"

"Give it to me honey, I know you want to come for me."

For a few seconds, amid an almost hoarse scream, your previously blurred vision disappeared for good. Your legs were shaking as you felt him settle between them. The lips still wet from your juice slid down your cheek, making you blink slowly.

"Still with me doll?"

"Yeah babe." you took his lips, tasting your own and giving him the freedom he needed to enter you.

He thrust slowly, Bucky's face hid in your neck as he moaned low, murmuring sweet nothings to you. So tight love. How I missed this pussy, made for me. You are mine, all mine.

The speed gradually increased, the headboard of the bed knocked insistently against the wall and you just hoped that the neighbors had a heavy sleep.

"Love, I can't hold it anymore." his hand went down to your clit, circling the most sensitive spot on your body. "I can sense that you can't either."

"Just like that Bucky, keep fucking like that." you begged, feeling the heat take over your body again.

"Come with me my angel. I can feel you tighten around me, give me one more, just one more."

The moans of both of you came out in unison and leaving you on the verge of an orgasm, it was only necessary to feel his hot liquid invade you to reach your own peak.

Bucky stayed in there for a few seconds, until he got out of you and turned you on top of him, hugging you tight and sticking his nose through your hair. Your scent was intoxicating, your body against his made him feel again that that cold apartment was home.

"You forgive me?" the hesitant tone of his voice caught your attention.

"Nothing to forgive" you settled on his chest. "Just promise never to leave me for that again?"

He gently pulled your face, making you look into his blue eyes. "I'll never, never leave you again, that's the easiest promise I've ever made in my life."

"I love you Buck."

"I love you more my angel." you snuggled into his chest and little by little your eyes grew heavy, his hands sliding on your back, in a comfortable silence.

The last thing she heard before falling asleep was an indignant tone in his voice.

"Wait, do you really want to learn how to fight?"

[evony256]

SPOILERS FOR DRDT CHAPTER 2 EPISODE 13

TW: SUICIDE

I just wanted to share my thoughts on the episode too since I've seen a lot of people do that

By the way I had to watch this like 7 hours after it was released and I have not scrolled through Tumblr yet so I might bring up stuff that have already been discussed. Also all of these notes were written down while I was watching the episode so yeah

-Levi just moved up so much on my kin list it's insane like omg…

- This was one bad day for Acevi fans, huh. I guess the Xanvid came at a price

-Whit I can now see why David told you to shut up I like you but that was bad 💀 (he was probably left affected by how David reacted in episode 12 and is either really uncomfortable or somewhat intimidated by David now)

-Nah nah nah that's definitely not Teruko's secret so I'm gonna start theorizing now. Teruko might have most of the secrets. It's not like they belong to her, but if you think back to episode 8 she said that she doesn't know which secret is hers because so many things have happened in her life. She probably said that she got the family secret because she thought that was the most likely one. Hu's secret might also be accurate to her considering the fact that, in episode 4, she told Arei that failed suicide attempts are painful, hinting at the fact that she might have tried to kill herself at some point (also backed up by the fact that, in episode 3, she says "why save my life if you're just going to ruin it afterwards?" when talking about her medical debt). The idea that she has most (if not all, but I doubt that) of the secrets might tie in with the killing game secret since it says "How could I even select what secret to be your motive?". The wording here is very ambiguous since it could be interpreted as "secrets about your life" or "secrets that are on the board", like the ones that the other cast members have, the latter being something that I bet that nobody in the fandom thought about until this episode. Anyway theory over back to saying stupid shit

-AREI ILYSM YOU ARE MAKING ME CRY YET FEEL HAPPY THAT'S WHY YOU'RE MY FAVORITEEEEE 😭😭😭

-SHE GOT NEW SPRITES TOO SHE IS SO PRETTY

-I MADE AN AUDIBLE GASP NOISE WHEN THAT CG WITH EDEN SHOWED UP HOLY SHIT!!!! I think she might have hurt or killed the girl she kissed? Unless she killed Arei, which is still a posibility, or Levi lied about his secret for Eden’s sake (idea which could contribute to the "Eden killer Levi accomplice" theory), though Charles would have also needed to lie for Eden since he had her secret. Also, if we're going with Eden remorseless murderer theory, in my opinion, it wouldn't make sense for Eden to be a remorseless killer after what Arei said about her making a mistake "that she couldn't take back" (showing that she probably felt remorse for what she did). Also also this is a good time for me to bring up the note with "Eden's motive" that Charles gave to Teruko. That note could be proof of whether or not Eden really does have the girl kisser secret and I want to mention that the note could be anything since we only have Charles' word to rely on. I really hope we get to see what it says because it's been making me more suspicious of Charles (I personally think that Charles is somewhat suspicious so I might make a post about it soon even though there isn't much proper evidence to say that he has something to do with the killing game, there's still a couple of questionable things about what he's done/said). Okay yap session number two over

-Arei moved up even more on my kin list how is that even possible…. I also love how her voice changed so much in this episode. Even in prior episodes, her voice seemed so cheerful and energetic, yet in this one, it's much calmer. Showing that she truly is feeling relieved that there are other bad people in the world like her and that she might have a chance to redeem herself if so. God damnit Mokaui (Arei's VA) did such a good job with all of her voice lines she needs to be credited more

-THE AREI CG I AM CRYING AREI YOU ARE EVERYTHING TO ME ILYSM I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE BONUS EPISODE AFTER THIS

-They're finally talking about the murder method this is a new evolution for humanity

-Monotv causally breaking the forth wall, now we can blame it on the cast that they were talking about the secrets for an entire year because they didn't watch the Chapter 2 recap

-YESSS FINALLY A MINIGAME I’VE MISSED THESE SO MUCHHHH

-Ooh so that's what the broken handles meant also that Veronika art is so pretty

-I wonder why they would want to break her neck though, it doesn't seem like it would help with the murder at all, but maybe the killer was trying to cause confusion

-This is proving a theory that I've had for a while. If Arei was hung from the ceiling of the playground, then that could be tied in with the broken lights and the movie screening room above the playground. How would they be able to get her into the playground from the movie screening room though…

-J 💀 (that's all I’ve got to say literally)

-That's a lot of very precise information Whit I can understand Veronika but why would you know all that. Care to share something with the class?

-The text animations in the debate are so unique like the question marks with Rose and the one that circles around the top of Levi’s head those look so cool. Also getting to hear a lot of characters talk in a row feels amazing. It gives them a lot of depth showing the contrast between those characters’ tones of voice.

-Also there goes my screening room theory damn

-Everyone just roasting Teruko again is the best thing out of this episode /j

-We got puppy Whit 10/10 episode

-Also THREE CGS AND TWO MINIGANES IN ONE EPISODE??? DRDTDEV YOU HAVE BEEN COOKING 🔥🔥🔥 YOU CAN STOP NOW THE KITCHEN IS ON FIRE (IN THE GOOD WAY). YOU MADE AN ENTIRE BUFFET. THIS IS AN ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT YOU CAN STOP NOW-

-Ooooo she's talking about Ace's attempted murder

-(Probably) Nico and Ace focused episode next week Nico and Ace fans are gonna be eating good

Overall, this might be my favourite episode so far. Not like I had a favourite episode before but still this was SO good

Also I just checked my Tumblr notifications why are there 50 like oh my lord 💀

[chaifootsteps]

starting to wonder if the mods are asleep or something, unless it's SC's video that made the difference - https://www.reddit.com/r/HelluvaBoss/comments/1dfzhts/stolas_being_a_shit_dad/

Plus his relationship with blitz is what started to cause the drama. Imagine you dad cheated on your mom and you didn’t understand the full situation and when your dad offers to take your mind off of drama, he brings the person he hooked up with that started all this drama in the first place (not putting the blame on blitz).

Yeah it's such a shitshow. Plus Blitz was actually taking his job seriously and wasn't flirting back, quite the opposite actually. So yeah. Pretty fucked

Though blitz during season one rarely flirted back and seemed to just tolerate Stolas more than anything.

Like, this is why Blitz is so messed up over it Stolas got feelings but it doesn’t erase all the shit he pulled and Blitz didn’t even get time to consider the situation, was just dismissed :(

My only hope is that stolas’s actions have consequences. Cause in season two his actions are softened more and some people would go Greta lengths to defend him- I get having like a favorite characters and seeing things from their point of view. But I feel like at times stolas’s actions are forgotten or expected to be forgiven because he was always “a victim”. While I won’t downplay the abuse and how bad his upbrings, it doesn’t excuse the actions we’ve seen him do in the show. Whether he’s aware of it or not. And I really hope apology tour is not just the “blitz hate train”. Though curious how Stolas thought singing at a concert with a banner that says “blitz sucks” was ever a good idea- but whatever it’s just me.

I also think he needs to realize he’s not just a victim if he REALLY wants to be an equal partner to Blitz Yes sometimes it’s one person’s fault, but it’s very obviously not this one

I for one cannot wait until Stolas has his awakening - so the fans with Stolas blinders glued to their heads have to eat crow. If it really is a "Blitz hate" train (although I think it's a broken hearts show), I'm not sure how I can watch that.

Also remember that their whole deal thing started when Blitz was in a life threatening situation. He was in no condition or position to consent properly. Even in the very beginning, he had no time to process...

Thank you thank you thank you. Blitzø didn’t bring up sex. That was Stolas. And yeah, I do think Stolas genuinely thought Blitzø was sneaking in for him and he almost certainly would be pretty horrified to know that Blitzø wasn’t fully on board with it, but Blitzø is a victim. I don’t think the relationship isnt salvageable, but it needs a looooot of work.

Everyone goes on and on about how bad blitzø is. Meanwhile, Stolas is just as shitty but more subtle about it. Regardless if he's aware of it or not.

Stolas' biggest flaw is self-centeredness. Not out of malice or selfishness, but out of pure sheltered obliviousness. Stolas never seems to notice (or care) how someone feels until some extreme emotion is shown. One can hope Stolas will learn to put the pause button on his own thoughts and learn to listen and read the room

Whatever it is, I hope it keeps coming, because it's healing to the soul.

[liampaynemysteriousdeath]

Hey, just wanted to say I and a lot of other people really appreciate the work you’re doing and follow along with everything you post, please take your time and don’t feel like no one cares! I promise we do, and we understand that your work takes time. I am looking forward to when everything becomes clearer. Sending much love, especially after today 💕💕💕💕💕

aww you're so sweet anon :) ♥

Oh wow that is nice to hear. I was honestly just gonna delete the blog the other day because I didn't see the point in posting stuff and talking to myself like a crazy person haha. I mean there are some people who are still around behind the scenes and have been around since the beginning shout out to them (you know who you are lol).

But in order for the case to move forward, more people have to join in doing research in any way shape or form because its not a simple case. There's definitely lots of layers to this case... worldwide in some ways, multiple people involved directly and indirectly.

Ive been burned out after doing this for hundreds of hours haha. So I'm taking slight breaks which coincidentally is good because there doesn't seem to be too much happening as far as new developments.

This is probably the calm before the storm. Does anyone know if there is an official court case # for liam down in argentina? I assume the court case will be televised.

I definitely will be doing more basic research, but as far as deep dive research, i will definitely not be doing it, unless someone steps up to help. ( See my requests post on pinned page for list of research deep dive topics). I'm on mobile a lot so its almost impossible for me to make a timeline of pics and vids of liams whole trip. As far as sleuthing on social media, I dont have any accounts and when I did try making one, Facebook said I was robot lol. So my research is limited in that capacity before it tells me I have to login haha.

A lot of the people I used to talk to behind the scenes have moved on, which they are free to do. But it is disheartening because liam had so many fans around the world. I remember back in the day when the Fandom would go HARD for the boys

plus other hacks like zayn in elevator and hotel camera recordings of the boys.

Im grateful theres a few tumblr accounts who want the truth. Glad there's other people on other platforms and discussion boards as well because each one adds to helping find the truth little by little.

Also friendly reminder to everyone please screenshot everything you wanna keep. Who knows who will find this blog and try to shut it down.

Not sure if you've seen the Diddy videos of him hiring private detective to come and harass people on social media speaking out, showing up to their house. Which I wouldnt put it past certain people to do so cough cough ya know who I'm talking about... considering she supposedly threatened some girl Years ago and found her mom's phone number and told her to stop posting stuff lol. She's ridiculous... and certain other tiktokers have been getting weird phone calls from British men supposedly. Luckily that didn't stop them from continuing to do research lol.

Speaking of, I hope liams parents can hire a private detective. I felt so bad for Geoff seeing him in that lobby video. He looked so lost and confused. But you can tell he is smart because he was looking around at lobby to see all the "damage" in the lobby that liam has supposedly caused. Nothing was broken, he and Paul knew something was up.

I hope any of this information is helpful to authorities and/or fans/researchers/etc. Not sure if British investigators are still in Argentina. 1ds reddit mentioned a team was sent over to aid in investigation, although i have yet to hear anything conclusive come out of it. I assume nothing has been released since it's an ongoing case...

I know there's always a possibility that certain people who are against the truth can possibly hack. (No im not saying modest mgmt ever would) just in general people can hack. This link serves as an example. for those who don't know about that blog, I definitely urge you to go over there and learn. There were some eye opening things the boys went through from over the years...

Https://stoponedirectionsmanagement.tumblr.com/post/32146809863/click-in-the-picture-to-go-to-the-tumblr

Also years ago there was a certain site I lurked on, and that site revealed there was a certain goernment agency that was lurking in the background that happened to be involved with this other celebrity indirectly. I've referenced before that a certain celebrity death years ago seems to be repeating with liams case concerning, money, llcs, and tmz. The two cases are not related, but I found it odd that they shared similarities, like for example how tmz and certain other media sites posted this person's death before they "officially died". Even timezones couldn't have accounted for it...

Also another similarity is that there were family trusts involved and shady characters around the celebrity taking advantage of the person's money and generosity as well. As well as both of the death scenes being set up by certain people around them.

I'm not gonna say the other celebrities name because that is a complicated mess. People would put me on the crazy lost if I told them what actually happened with that other celeb(s). So im gonna zip my lips on that one.

Back to research I go lol

[obsidianpen]

speaking of ai and the way that it's sort of, distinguishable from the human work... anon that works in digital advertising (if i remember correctly) pointed out that ai has a specific writing pattern and splits the “posh/overly peculiar” adjectives and words that sound unnatural. this isn't related to greyana (?) in any way, (and i'm sorry if this sounds a little out of context but i'm the anon on whose ask you responded with voldemort's character chart <33 MADE MY NEXT FEW WEEKS LITERALLY) but i just wanted to ask— since i've been reading fanfictions ever since i've gotten a phone, basically, and i've seen numerous amount of them in past couple of years that i've been reading them, but your specific style of writing is so.. i loathe that i don't know how to describe it, but it's so refreshing, somehow. because you have flawless words for everything, your sentences never seemed nonsensical or just thrown-in, and from reading your work alone i can tell that you're literate ASL. like— quality's immaculate, but at the same time i understand everything because the themes and the emotions are so brilliantly depicted, and don't even get me started on the characterisation, like i said.

and i'm so sorry if this all sounds so so confusing but 😭 what i wanted to ask is do you maybe have any advices on how you started out, how you manage to do it so well, is it all just pure practice?

since part of the reason why i mentioned AI writing at the start is because i feel like what i write can be considered as something an AI would write, because my first language isn't english so whenever i write, it often happens that i search “[word] synonym” and then i use a synonym of a word because i don't want my sentences to sound too— idk simple? like i feel like without doing that, the fanfic would sound like it's written by a 13 year old since my vocabulary's not really all that yet, but simultaneously sometimes the synonyms i use instead aren't really appropriate to be used in the context of the word that goes afterwards, sentence as a whole, etc.

all this confusing mess aside–

i really hope ur doing okay and taking care of yourself bc you're taking care of us lots these days in a way <3 (since i've seen lots of people who basically live off of reading the asks you respond to so frequently despite having loads of responsibilities in real life as well WHILE writing for us at the same time + under sm sm pressure. like. you're awesome literally idk how you do itt 😭i've never, not once seen you respond to anybody rudely no matter the question and no matter how insistent people are that you update to the point where it's overwhelming. ur literally my comfort author <//3 )

🥹 I love everything about this submission, thank you anon (though I am certain I have been rude to some people, mostly in jest, but these things happen when prodded) 🖤 and thank you for the comments about my writing, I do try really hard 😭

but in your case, since English isn’t your first language, I would say you should find a beta reader who is a native English speaker to be your proof reader, sounding board, etc! A real person to talk things through with. Much more helpful than anything AI can do, because they can help brainstorm about the plot too!!

[rjncore]

Unexpectedly Yours (Chapter 1)

You've been accustomed to living in Italy now. It's been 4 years since you first stepped foot in that country. When you got there, you thought you would just be there for your job and stroll around. It wasn't part of the plan to stay there for good. But as days passed by, you found yourself falling in love with the culture, its people – everything. And maybe, just maybe, there will be more reasons to stay in that country.

It was part of your bucket list to go to Italy to see their picturesque landmarks in person. After you graduated from university, you were eager to have a job immediately to save up money for your goal. You were able to land a job in a prestigious and established company as an architect. That's already a huge step towards the fulfillment of your goal. But little did you know that you'll be much closer to your goal than you think. One day, you were so busy making a plan for a project that was assigned to you when your boss suddenly sent you a message to visit his office.

"Good morning. I would like you to come and visit my office today. I'd like to propose something to you."

With curiosity taking over your head, you hurriedly went to his office. As soon as you arrived, your boss went straight to the point and said, "Well, our company has a branch in Italy. They need a helping hand and creative mind because of a huge project. I would like you to go there. You'll need to stay for 2 months but if the project requires you to extend, it's fine. The company will cover the expenses of your trip and stay there. I hope you consider this offer."

Hearing this, you knew that you didn't need to think it through. It was an invitation, a great opportunity that doesn't come often to anyone. "Sir, thank you for giving me this offer. I'm accepting it because I believe it's a huge opportunity not just for me but also for the company. I would like to see the scenic architecture of Italy as an architect myself."

A week has already passed, and you'll be leaving for Italy today. Your most awaited day has finally come. You're already at the airport and it's almost boarding time. It'll be a long flight so you've decided to find something to watch during the flight. You picked up your iPad and scrolled around. You saw your friends and workmates leave you good luck messages. You're normally into Netflix series, but a workmate recently recommended you something else to watch – Haikyuu. You have no idea about it so you searched, only to find out that it was about volleyball.

"Heck no, I don't even watch anime, let alone sports anime." you murmured to yourself as you browse about it. You just finished watching a romance series so you're still trying to find something else to watch. It's been an hour since the plane took off, and you're still scrolling around. You thought that it would be better to just doze off for now but you're still not sleepy. You picked up your phone instead, and opened TikTok. For some reason, the algorithm of that app is weird, at least for you. You don't even watch sports, but a video clip of a volleyball player is now in your FYP (For You page). To be honest, it wouldn't hurt to watch the clip and as someone who doesn't know anything about the sport. You thought he was just average — nothing too special. Being curious enough, you read some of the comments under the video telling that he's got great skills, and he was born to be a volleyball player. But there was also one comment that made your eyes grow wide, “He has been playing in Italy for quite a while now. Maybe that's the reason why he has improved so much.”

"Hmm, ok. I see" you mumbled to yourself. To be frank enough, that one video sparked curiosity inside you – something that you didn't expect you would feel. Maybe you suddenly became interested to know more about the sport, or because of that person you just watched a video clip of. “Yuki Ishikawa, team captain of Japan men's volleyball team plays professionally in Italy” you covered your mouth in awe, as you searched him in Google. Instead of trying to review the project that you're about to handle, you're now in a completely different world. You kept on watching his videos during the flight, and you realized that you just got yourself into something new. Maybe, volleyball isn't too boring after all.

It was a 13-hour flight and you were only able to doze off 3 hours before you landed in Italy. You're now in Milan, but it didn't fully sink into you yet as you were still feeling a bit groggy after only having slept for 3 hours. Your boss texted the location of your apartment, so you went straight there to rest and settle your things. The first 2 days in the country were your free day. It was up to you on how to spend those days to the fullest. You've come up with a plan and besides, you need to actually get used to the environment and have some time for yourself too. It's the weekend, so your plan was to visit Duomo di Milano then try some famous Italian food. You learned some basic Italian words now that you can use when socializing, especially when you are out alone. Everything is going according to your plan that day – trying out famous Italian dishes and strolling around the plaza. But then, it suddenly rained.

"Argh!" was all you can say as you scratch your head while booking a cab in your phone.

You didn't bring an umbrella but luckily, the cab arrived few minutes later. As you're on your way back to the apartment, it dawns on you that you still have to walk a bit before reaching the complex. You have no choice. The cab can't enter the complex, so you must walk in the heavy downpour. After a 15 minute ride, you finally arrived.

"Grazie!" you cheerfully said to the driver, as you made your way towards the apartment complex. As you didn't have an umbrella, all you could do was use your small, black handbag to cover your head. However, it proved useless since you are wearing a dress and now, it's all wet. You were almost at your apartment, so you tried to run with all your might, itching to change your clothes. You're also quite worried that you might get sick on your first day in the country. But then, as you were running, you bumped into someone.

"O-oh, I'm sorry and thanks too" you said, as he returns your handbag to you, because you dropped it out of hurry.

"You're welcome" he answered, his voice soft. You smiled at him sheepishly, feeling the awkwardness in the air. He's still staring at you full of gentleness yet concern as well. It was a complete silence, before he got the courage to speak up.

"Miss, do you live here? You're drenched. You should return to your place" he said as he looked away from you, rubbing the back of his neck. Lost in the moment, you find yourself staring blankly into space. You tried to avoid eye contact with him not only out of embarrassment, but also because of the fact that he's not just anyone. Same like you saw him in the internet, he's tall and his body proportion is very athlete-like. Well, he's Yuki Ishikawa.

It was another minute of silence, you couldn't respond to him immediately as you're still processing who's in front of you right now. Then again, he broke the silence.

"Miss?" he waves his hand to you, trying to get your attention back.

"Uhm y-yeah, I just arrived here. Was strolling around then it suddenly rained like this" you answered, nerves evident in your voice. He lets out a chuckle, causing you to feel warm in your cheeks even with the cold breeze brought by the rain.

"Oh, so you're new here. It's obvious. By the way, I'm Yuki Ishikawa. See you around" he then waves his hand, bidding his goodbye.

By the looks of it, it seemed like he was going to their training today. He had a hand carry bag with him. "Do they still have training today? In this heavy rain?" you mumbled to yourself, as you finally reached your apartment. As you sat down on the sofa, drying yourself with a towel, a realization hit you. His calm demeanor earlier, opposite to the strong aura he had when he's on the court, as you've seen in the videos was something that you didn't expect. The gesture was very gentleman of him, you thought to yourself. You just knew him through internet but seeing him in flesh and actually talking to you in a respectful manner, stirred something inside you. Perhaps you're already starting to get the hype for him as you murmured, "Mhm, he's nice".

Back in the parking lot, as Yuki gets inside the car and prepares to leave for training, his phone suddenly buzzes. It was an announcement from their coach, "Our training is postponed today. We'll reschedule it, when the weather gets better." Yuki lets out a huge sigh, knowing that his usual routine will be disrupted today. He has been used to training during this day of the week for a very long time now. Yet he had no other choice but to return to his apartment. The heavy downpour earlier is just a light drizzle now, so he took some time to walk back to his place. His footsteps were steady, as he was still thinking about the encounter with the woman earlier. It's nothing too special, yet his lips can't help but to form a smile. He himself was surprised with the way he talked to her. He doesn't usually behave with someone like that outside of the volleyball court. But maybe, it's time for a change.

[utilitycaster]

The wildest part about people being mad on Imogen's behalf is Imogen herself understood Keyleth's position in spite of her own wishful thinking, helps acquire the blue flowers for her, was the first to acknowledge the Changebringer's help, and the first to say "I'm sorry" to Orym losing more of his people. I'm really baffled to read these "Orym is manipulative" takes and that it was dangerous of Keyleth to validate his anger. Do you think it goes back to the god stuff, or is it just Imodna?

I think a little of column A, little of column B, little of several other things. Since I've been on the "hey could we consider that Imogen and Laudna are adult women who are responsible for their own actions" train for over a year, the specific "Imogen can be mean-spirited as well as unintentionally insensitive" train since at least this past February, and the "Orym is correct and Bor'Dor signed his own death warrant by casting Vitriolic Sphere at a group of people who were not violent towards him" train for a month, let's break it down.

There are a small handful of people in the fandom who just really hate Liam. Per a very salty rant I put into my drafts shortly after 3x63 to describe this type of person, it is a small, scattered, bizarre group of people who for no apparent reason have decided to be foaming-at-the-mouth levels of furious because, as far as I can tell, a nerdy Gen X-er dad who went to Tisch is kind of corny sometimes. Anyway nothing he does will ever sit well with them so we can ignore them forever. Moving on.

Some is Imodna; I thought the whole issue of Imogen and Laudna as agency-less infants against a cruel world would have been ameliorated by them entering a canon relationship (one currently compatible with the 2013 Pinterest board vibes of fanon no less) but it appears to have not been the case. For more on this, see this still relevant post and, while I personally haven't ever written something up, there's just, again, a complete black hole of empathy from a segment of the fandom when it comes to any of the other characters; my post from this morning about Imogen as compared to Caleb touches upon it. You know the Far Side cartoon where a guy is talking to his dog and the dog only recognizes a small handful of words? I feel this is similar, like, they see that Imogen wanted one thing and Orym and Keyleth wanted another thing that wasn't even, as you point out, terribly incompatible, and then the "well if not thing Imogen wants and not 100% deferential to her then BAD BAD BAD" attitude kicked in.

But I do think, in the end, a lot of it does come back to if not the gods exactly, the idea that the Vanguard is, unmistakably, the enemy. They are not the revolution here to usher in a new era of rule by the people. Keyleth is not here to raze Vasselheim to the ground but to have a diplomatic discussion; neither is she here to grant any leniency to the woman who attacked Vax regardless of her connection to Imogen. And she finds the idea of a world without the gods, regardless of her own personal feelings, to be one to be avoided. [sidebar: I hope we get Matt on 4SD; I am wondering, after the one-two-three punch of Hevestro, the Raven Queen, and Keyleth all placing a heavy thumb on the scale opposing the Vanguard if he did not expect the party to be as conflicted about the role of the gods and is trying to wind up an argument that I think as of last episode reached the end of its useful life.] When you couple that with Orym's positive attitude towards the gods, that explains the animosity towards him.

The undermining of Orym's position over the past few episodes has always been one of emotion. First he was not objective - as if anyone else was objective! As if any moral decision is ever 100% objective! We all have biases! What kind of early 2000s atheist forum shit are you on to claim perfect rationality that conveniently matches the ideas that apparently came to you in a godless vision? It's insane. Then it was his grief; grief makes you irrational (unless you're Imogen grieving Laudna, in which case you are objectively right at all times, even as you shout down every other suggestion, beseech Laudna's first murderer, not a month later consider the potential validity of the her second, and try to to undo her immutable past) and remember, moral decisions must be made by the rational. Then it was his impatience (nevermind that Imogen has absolutely no patience). And now it's his anger, and he's apparently been manipulating the party the whole time by...having suggestions for the group which he mentions, and openly stating what he was feeling and what he wanted, and not intuiting that Laudna reawoke Delilah with his approximately no magical ability and then encouraging her to finish a job she had started herself. Because god Rational Objective Conceptual Being forbid women do anything; it is the role of the man to protect their fragile souls from all consequences.

Even more generally I think a lot of people- not just in this fandom, though certainly within this fandom - are terrified of anger. Like, they think they like it - they say they love barbarians (though rage is its own beast and I think very different from the anger Orym and Keyleth exhibit) but most of the discussion of them tends to veer more into angst, and most players of barbarians are often exploring emotions like grief, self-pity (as Ashton says), or frustration just as much if not more so than anger. I think a lot of people perceive anger as this awful thing inside them to be controlled and denied, or alternately to only be let out for whatever they think is a sufficiently righteous cause, and instead sit in an increasingly toxic stew of simmering resentment and conflict avoidance until they begin to think this is not just normal but aspirational - anything but that awful beast they call anger. It's not new in discussions of Keyleth, and it's not limited to her and Orym; I can point to nearly every single character who has had even the slightest of outbursts - even something as mild and controlled as Orym's whispered profanity or less - and I promise you there's been pearl-clutching for every single one of them.

Anyway, you make great points! One of the things that struck me about this episode and prompted my frustration and my post earlier today is that Imogen has changed. I think she's been mulling over Liliana since her appeals to her during the Key's activation were unsuccessful; she hesitantly told Chetney when he asked in Uthodurn that yes, if Liliana's death is necessary, she understands; and I think seeing the utter devastation and pain that was inflicted on Keyleth brought it into focus. She was much more open to FCG and the coin as well. And, you know, if one had embraced Imogen's moral ambiguity in the leadup to the solstice, and the possibility that she could betray the party, instead of shouting that down? Then one could see this as a beautiful moment of growth for Imogen. One could, in fact, if one was so inclined, attribute it to her new sense of ease thanks to her circlet, or even to her nascent romantic relationship. If one, of course, had wholeheartedly embraced Imogen's past moral ambiguity and the possibility of her betrayal.