#so if i do then i gotta make them butch bc i said so

[squarerooto]

I'm gonna fire my butchification beam at pom just you guys wait

[gettinontopic]

This is so transphobic like what the hell is this

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[Image Id: A large addition to a tumblr poat reading "Also if I'm going to be honest, passing as a man is also just easier than passing as a woman. The rules to being a man and passing as a man are much more lenient than being a woman or passing as a woman. Trans women have to worry about shit like "I need to wear an outfit that distracts people from the fact I have an adams apple, and not allow people to see that I have shoulders, and learn makeup and basically become a voice actor and etc. and maybe I won't be called a man today" (and if you pass too well and the wrong cis guy feels guilty about being attracted to you, you get murdered meanwhile if you're a trans guy and you wanna pass as a man, you gotta like have short hair and hide or remove your boobs and at this point you can already just go to the grocery store and most people will see you as a man. Once you get facial hair and a deeper voice, most people will just see you as some guy. Like I don't understand why transmascs insist on this idea that they could never really pass. Like the idea that trans man who passes is almost far-fetched. Weird as hell." End Id]

Lets upack this shall we?

1."Passing as a man is easier than passing as a woman"

No it's not. The rules to being a man and passing as a men as strict as lots of rules for women. Have you ever seen a cis guys who fails to pass? They're called names, theyre physically beat, and theyre often ostracized from their cis peers just as fast as any trans person. Cis boys cant even pass half the time by the rules they made. Quit fucking lying about men just magically having it so easy.

Your experiences as passing as a man aren't universal and if you've never passed as one what makes you think it's fucking easy?

Also god forbid you're a black man, or a black man who is into something deemed feminine. Shit I've seen guys call black men women for wearing a damn hair bonnet.

Oh not to mention I'm only a man to transphobes when they can call me a "dangerous black man" only to switch back to tryibg to detransition me by saying "you can just be a masc girl!"

2.Adams apple

While you have to hide yours, I have to wear shit that distracts people that I *don't* have one. Cause, and I know this is wild, if they expect you not to have one for being a women, what do they expect me to have for being a man? Hmm? And if you're a man who's adams apple never came in? I've seen them called girls to. Shit I've heard a guy called not manly for missing his, and he was still in puberty!!

3.Shoulders

While you have to hide you shoulders, I have to do whatever I can to have the.. small shoulders on men? maybe if youre in a "non manly" field like music or art, but I do gym work. I better look likeit regardless of the disability that effacts my muscles growth and development or I am called maam by every guy there. Which sucks btw.

4. Makeup and voice acting:

Trans men also are regularly advised to wear makeup that masculinizes them and do voice training. thats some of our oldest passing tips. thats litterally never been unique to trans women. what the FUCK kinda of implications are you trying to put out here?

5. Murder:

Hey did you know cis guys will murder trans men bc they were attracted to them and then found out they werent "real men" and then kill them. shit cis women also kill us if they find out they were attracted to us and we aren't their ideal man anymore. do u know how men who hear im butch and into women behave?

Fuck right the fuck off trying to tokenize the murder lf trans women while throwing trans men murders in the "that doesn't happen" bin.

6. How many times have we said short hair and no boobs dont fucking automatically gets us gendered correcly!! We have voices that have to be trained, we have muscles were expected to build,and some men even watch the way you walk to guess if you have a dick or not.

Listen to any trans men. any of us for five minutes. those things do not making an easily passing trans man fuck you for lying about our experiences as not a trans man.

7. "You gotta like have short hair or remove your boobs"

Untrue! just Untrue. we also have to preform the rules of manhood really well. ive seen beareded transmen clocked for like so many different other reasons and you wouldn't listen to those men if it would save all trans people lives forever. cis men constantly dig at other men presentation to keep each other in line. Its a regular for them.

Also: not all of want to pass with those features. I deserve to have long hair and not bind and still pass as a man and you suck for defining everything around passing.

8. I don't know why you insist on this idea that trans women never really pass without obscene work (when ive met trans women that admit they have it easy by throwing on a dress and wearing her hair down) and that all trans men who have ascess to transition magically do pass (When multiple of us transitioning have said we dont)

If we can't talk about the ones who don't pass then you kinda can just sweep away the idea we don't face discrimination or danger and that's getting us killed actually.

None of us have said we can all never really pass any who say they can't are usually speaking on their own experiences. Because you want us all to pass so bad you don't care that we don't, and that it gets us backlash and hurt.

Also, if you ever read this, kiss my black ass and go reevaluate what makes you think you should speak on experiences that aint yours as if you're the one with the Hard Cold Facts.

[hotluncheddie]

How do you feel about chubby female Steve (steddie)? I love a good female Steve/Eddie fic 🥰

see, well, i do also love - simply bc i love people having fun. but i haven't really read much female steddie tbh tbh

i do, however, have a lifelong dream of calling a beautiful butch woman daddy

so i will be imparting this dream onto Eddie, and making it come true, as a treat.

so please imagine a lovely, fat, strong, beautiful, butch Stevie Harrington (with pretty long hair and an undercut) and manic pixie goblin girl Eddie Munson (covered in tattoos with a silly little curly mullet) <3

I also saw a very cute video on Instagram of a lesbian couple and one was not feeling good about how her stomach looked asking ‘why does it do that’ and her gf just said bc you’re hot, and you’re healing. And I think that that’s very steddie tbh tbh

-

Stevie and Eddie are coming back from the lake, sun kisses and sleepy from their day. Stevie in a blue bikini with one of her muscle shirts over the top, sunglasses on and hair whipping in the wind, thick thighs spread across the drivers seat. Eddie pulled on a pair of shorts over her skinny legs, but her belly has gotta a little chubbier lately, causing a roll to sit just above where the waistband sits at her belly button. She squishes it, grumbling and huffing, ‘why does it do that? It’s. Is it supposed to do that?’

Stevie looks over, confused, but her face softens as she looks back at the road. ‘It looks like that because you’re a hot girl.’ She says, smiling. Then reaches over and strokes the skin softly with her hand, head swivelling to glance between Eddie and the road. ‘And healing girls have it.’ She says softly, tenderly, pressing her fingers in and pinching just to make Eddie gasp.

They’ve been trying to work with her recently accepted ADHD, which means building some better techniques to make sure Eddie remembers to eat throughout the day. She had to stop tattooing a client because she got dizzy from only drinking ice coffee and not eating for like 14 hours. Her and Stevie is had a conversation about it, Eddie embarrassed and frustrated, Stevie understanding and pragmatic. She eats much more regularly now, thanks to the reminders and meal prepping, which obviously means she’s gained a little weight. but also means she has more energy and it’s improved her work and ability to interact with the clients.

Doesn’t mean Eddie’s used to it yet though.

Eddie bites her lip, pulling Stevie’s hand between her own and kissing across her knuckles, kissing the rings Eddie found for her at flea markets and sucking her thumb into her mouth just because she can. And because it makes Stevie’s eyes go dark.

Eddie pulls the digit out with a soft pop, sighing ‘I guess.’ to end the conversation - her heart much too full to handle. She grabs the tape box from the back and shoves Dio in and turning it up, head banging until she’s breathless. Stevie glancing over as much as she can, smiling again.

They stop at a drive through on the way back, Eddie squirming and breathing heavy as she feeds Stevie fries and passes her nuggets dipped in sauce so she can keep driving them home. Stevie ignoring her, licking both their fingers clean and driving one handed to suck on her soda straw, belly getting visibly bloated, making Eddie’s mouth fill with spit. She’s so capable and amazing and eddie has to hold back a whimper when Stevie grips her thigh, leaning over slightly to bite at the fries before any ketchup falls. Her soft belly lapping against the seatbelt and silver chain glinting in the setting sun.

‘Let’s get you out of your head, yeah?’ Steve says sweetly once they’re home and unpacked, the day weighing heavy on their bones but not enough for sleep to take them yet, no, there’s fun to be had first, Eddie can see it in the glint of Stevie’s brown eyes.

Eddie pulls greedily at the ties on her bikini, letting it fall away revealing the soft round swells of Stevie’s boobs, sitting low and big across her chest. Eddie groans, cupping them in her hands and squeezing, skin spilling between her fingers.

Eddie lays back on the pillows of their old second hand couch, Stevie towering over her, thighs either side of Eddie’s head. She can’t see Stevie’s face unless she bends forward but the sight of soft underbelly and under boob has Eddie groaning, wetness spreading between her legs. She leans up and kisses over Stevie’s bush, turning her head to nuzzle and bite and the soft inner skin of her thigh, moaning and Stevie shifts and Eddie feels the muscle move under her mouth. Tanned and beautiful, with moles scattered like constellations and a sensitive sort of power to everything she does. Eddie fucking loves her.

Stevie grips her curls, pulling her face back down and leaning at arm on the couch armrest. ‘Be good for me sweet thing. Can you do that?’ She asks, voice calm and low and Eddie feels that deep black water spill into her brain. Sinking hot and wet and wanting.

‘Yeah.’ She says, breathy and high and Stevie smirks as she lets her hips drop. Eddie’s face buried deep in her warm folds. She groans, leaping and sucking and Stevie is everywhere, covering her mouth and nose and Eddie relishes in the white noise static of the thighs squeezed against her ears.

Loosing breath but not wanting to stop Eddie whines when Stevie lifts, looking down at her with sweet condescension, ‘breath for me baby.’ She purrs so Eddie does, gulping greedily. Stevie sits back down and Eddie resumes working over the clit, sucking and flicking with her tongue, lifting one hand to squeeze at her ass while the other searches to bury fingers in her hole.

Stevie rises again, panting with pleasure. Eddie stops to breathe but doesn’t stop pumping her fingers, watching Stevie’s eyes roll. ‘So good for me baby.’ She moans and Eddie preens, desperate to get her there, to taste her again. ‘Daddy.’ She whines, floating and greedy and Stevie moans again, head thrown back and hand reaching to grip Eddie’s curls as she sinks back down, belly folding and thighs clenching and Eddie throbs.

And then when Stevie is flush and beautiful post orgasm, sitting on the sofa to recover, and Eddie is basking in the wetness on her face, and the hand stroking slowly up her leg, she’s sigh out another soft little ‘Daddy’ in contentment, shoving her cold toes under the bit of warm belly that rests on Stevie’s thighs.

And then Stevie will scoop her up, leading them to the bathroom with fresh towels and Eddie’s favourite dildo. With plans to fill her and clean her and leave bruising marks all over her girlfriend’s pretty new belly. A perfect end to a perfect day.

-

<|:3c

Gonna tag: @scoops-aboy86 @cheesedoctor @chickensinrainboots @whimsicalwadewinstonwilson but I know this isn’t usual steddie so idk sorry if this isn’t ur thing

[genderstarbucks]

" Usually I ignore hate like this but this is so fucking funny to me

Nowhere in my bio does it say I'm a woman you dumbass LMFAO, it says I'm female, which is different than a woman

Saying I'm just gay and trans does not explain the entirety of my experience, I can use whatever fucking labels I want to describe myself whether you like it or not you wet sock

"That's not real it's made up", yeah all words are you fucking idiot

The fact that you would stone people based on an identity that literally doesn't affect your tiny brain at all says a lot about you

YOU'RE the one who's disrespecting the trans people who have died to transphobia by caring so much about the fact that this is how I experience my transness

I think they'd be proud of the fact that me and so many others are reclaiming slurs that have been used against us

Have you ever even heard of cistrans people? Probably not considering your brain implodes at the thought of male lesbians

Also where the fuck are the "fetishes" in my bio you're speaking of? Those are just my dating preferences fuckface, what? Are you mad that you don't fit those preferences? You're just mad you can't be with me because I'm so great

You are actually so fucking stupid it's funny, you think I actually care about your opinion?

Mspec gays, lesbians and straights will and have always existed, no matter what your tiny brain thinks

Lesboys and turigirls still exist too you idiot

Oh boo hoo a butch lesbian is calling themselves a lesboy, and you're getting offended over that? That's really fucking pathetic

Gay and trans people died for my and other weird queer people's rights, and the rights for us to identify however we want

R you rlly gonna support xenogenders but not other niche queer identities? Stupid ass

Nobody ever said all lesbians like men or that lesbians have to like men, lesbians only like men if they're attracted to men while also calling themselves a lesbian you dumbass

Irl literally nobody cares if you identify as an mspec gay or lesboy, it's people like you who keep pulling this stupid discourse back up WHEN LITERALLY NOBODY CARES

It's not affecting you assfuck

I'm pro stoning people who are like you, specifically with big boulders "

" Have you ever even heard of cistrans people? Probably not considering your brain implodes at the thought of male lesbians " neither of those exist take your meds,

"R you rlly gonna support xenogenders but not other niche queer identities? Stupid ass" yeah lol :3

" Nobody ever said all lesbians like men or that lesbians have to like men, lesbians only like men if they're attracted to men while also calling themselves a lesbian you dumbass" so theyre not lesbian got it ^_^

" It's not affecting you assfuck " have you ever thought about maybe the ideology that lesbians can like men is literally what gets most of them raped

anyway all the swearing from ur post makes me giggle bc youre actually so mad, maybe ask mommy to change your diaper or something

" Also where the fuck are the "fetishes" in my bio you're speaking of? Those are just my dating preferences fuckface, what? Are you mad that you don't fit those preferences? You're just mad you can't be with me because I'm so great " im actually so happy i dont fit those bc i dont date 500lbs people LMAOO maybe try listening to other people than your divorced mom who got beaten by all her past partners who says "youre so beautiful" because all shes doing is lying to you, it would b better for you to know now that ur double chin aint doing any good for you. you just gotta know youre really below average before someone tells you and you end up killing yourself over it

" Saying I'm just gay and trans does not explain the entirety of my experience, I can use whatever fucking labels I want to describe myself whether you like it or not you wet sock " how about you use the labels the term "delusional, obese, and extremely ugly"

I literally do not care

[madamefist]

HOLY SHIT!!! A lot of things happened in this chapter!!! Where do I start?!

1- Esmérelda is a b@#&!

2- Buttercup lost her powers TWICE!

3- Mike is bi! YAY! xD

4- Drama between the sisters! :(

5- Esmérelda is a bitch!!!

6- Him and Esmérelda are aware that Brick doesn't get affected by Esmé's influence!!! 😱

7- Poor Buttercup! My heart broke for her in this chapter! 😢

8- Butch is the best boyfriend Buttercup could ever asked for! 😭

9- ESMÉRELDA IS A BITCH!

10- Brick can see the future??! 😦

11- The Blues finally made up! YAY! xD

12- Blossom finally told her sisters about her heart attacks. I'm glad.

13- Brick started to put two to two together, but he's still not making a move!!! C'mon, Brick! Do something!!!

14- ESMÉRELDA IS A FUCKING BITCH!!!!

Phew! I think that's everything! xD You really know how to write villains, Madamefist! First, Melvin, now Esmé. Seriously, I'm starting to hate her more than Melvin. The Reds didn't get a lot of focus, but I was glad that Blossom told Brick about what the Professor said to her. My heart also broke when her sister ganged on her when Esmé accused her. It was really hard to read. :(

But I can't but just noticed Brick's new "ability" if you will call it that. He now can dream about the future? Can foresee the future? Similar to Him? Hmmmm... it's quite interesting, I have to say.

But man, the ending, with Him appearing and telling Esmé to kill Buttercup... I'm both scared and excited for the next chapter! This chapter was worth the wait for sure. But I do hope you update within a month, I really want to know what will happen next!!!

You take care now. 😄

Okay.. 1 - Yes, you are correct 😂 2 - Poor BC 😭 3 - Yay Mike 💖💜💙 4 - I think we need to refer to number 1 for this one.. I didn't enjoy writing them being horrible to each other I gotta admit! 5 - Yes, that is very true 6 - Yes - they know stuff Brick doesn't - wouldn't that annoy him! 7 - She's going through it.. You wait till the next chapter 🫠😬 8 - 😬😬😬 9 - STILL VERY TRUE. 10 - 🤔🤔🤔 11 - Yay blues 💙 12 - About time really..! 13 - He needs to trust his gut more doesn't he... 14 - YESSSSSSSSSSSS 😆 Thank you so much! I don't know what it says about me as a person being able to pull off writing evil well, but I'm gunna take it as a compliment either way 😏🤣 The reds will take centre stage soon - I worry about my fics being tooooo red sometimes. They are my favourites to write, but I do love the greens - struggle with the blues (but that doesn't mean I don't love them) - but gave myself a little personal goal to try & write them better/more in my Choices/Prophecy fics. I'll do my very best to get chapter 8 up within the month 🫶

[monumentalslutt]

no i cant contain my anger so i’m just gonna angry rant duck u for being a lil switching up faggot i cant believe u just threw away all dem years of friendship, fuck dat cripple butch for being a fuckinf cunt and making me a pussy bitch and stupid butch for even having kids no i hate jade so much why did she gotta do all that to me o didn’t ask to be her fuckingn kid and fuck everyone who let some disabled crazy lady have a baby why the fuck did ppl think that was gonna be a good idea ???? now i gotta deal w the fuckin mess and effect of it cunt literally i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again they should’ve made that bitch abort me, i wouldn’t be complaining and fuck my dad and fuck his girlfriend just because they always do what’s best for the two of them and not me, my whole fuckint life would be different if we never moved, id graduate fuckin highschool my ex would still be my friend i’d still be close w everyone actually no i change my mind i’m glad we moved bcs LOOK at all the mfs that switch up as soon as they don’t gotta see u everyday fuck dat blonde bitch i used to be friends w fuck all dem other blonde bitches fucj geniunely everyone that turned out to be a complete fuckinf cunt anyways just a little reminder once i’m no longer feeling angry these thoughts will go away i do not mean anything i just get too angry sometimes

[macgregorhoughton]

yo if you wanna you should release your full sequel wishlist king I wanna hear ur ideas

thank you so much for asking?!??! omg yes here it is:

(it is pretty messy and unorganised sorry about that)

I want it to start in London. I wanna see Lily, Frank and MacGregor (and Proxima) during their daily routine that is also undoubtedly extremely weird. I have a post or two queued up about some specifics so look out for that. Like I just need to see them looking kinda out of place but like extremely happy to be together. And of course like I said: I need them to live together. If they don’t live together I’m gonna be genuinely mad. I need to get throuple vibes from the minute it starts alright.

I want a scene like in Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid where the three of them (maybe with proxima) get a fancy portrait taken together bc they’re also a family of three 🥺

And just for me: There’s a scene in BCatSK where they jump off a cliff together into a river after arguing about whether or not they should and I want a scene like that with MacGregor and Frank (except they wouldn’t hold onto a gun belt together but would hold hands. Actually I have this whole scene worked out in my head lmao)

I want more scenes with MacGregor and Proxima but again, queued posts coming up! I just really want them to be buddies. That was already important to me for the first one and it needs to continue.

Okay I know this is my third mention now but listen. LISTEN: the sequence in BCatSK where the throuple goes to new york and just has FUN and looks at all the new technologies kinda remade. Mainly the siblings showing Frank all the new things like movies and just modern society. Just a sequence of them having the time of their life, together.

MacGregor saying “No offense, but I will never get on a boat steered by Frank ever again” and then a hard cut to him sitting on a boat. He got one of those jokes in the first one, he deserves a second one.

I would like a scene of Frank protecting MacGregor against like his homophobic uncle or sth. Like they’re just walking around London and run into him and as soon as MacGregor says “Uncle?” the kill bill sirens go off in Frank’s head and he just scares the shit out of that man defending MacGregor (who is like. extremely into that)

FLASHBACK I want a Houghtons flashback so badddd. I want to see them as kids!!!

MacGregor gets a nickname

MacGregor teaching Frank some fancy dance so he can impress Lily and then at the event, after dancing with Lily, Frank dances with MacGregor too (I’m sorry, I watched Sherlock Holmes game of shadows 100 times that is all I can think about) Actually I might just write that fic tbh.

More about the Society of Explorers and Adventurers. idc how they’re gonna be involved. Antagonists, allies, whatever, I just need to see that lore expanding.

I know they’re done with that storyline now but I am still obsessed with Aguirre and the whole backstory there. Like I would genuinely still love to see more bc there is SO much more there that I wish I could see. But I know that’s not gonna be brought up again.

Physical 👏 intimacy 👏 I want all the hand holding and head/cheek kisses. I want them sitting way too close on a couch or on a boat. I want them to hug and just. show their love.

Another innuendo scene. There should be one in each movie.

Frank takes off his shirt and both Houghton siblings have an identical thirsty look on their faces.

Honestly??? Just the siblings being in sync in general. And just sibling scenes. We got so much in the first movie already and they should not roll it back for the second one, they gotta really lean into it even more.

MacGregor still having some trauma left over from how his family treated him after coming out and Frank and Lily helping him with it. Like maybe his middle name is his uncle’s name or sth and he hates that and Frank doesn’t understand why he’d monogram all his stuff with an initial that’s such a painful reminder and he helps him work through that.

The three of them going to the same tailor together. Idk it just seems like a potentially fun idea. SHOULD have been in the first one already tho.

Frank having a hard time adjusting to the whole not being immortal thing. The potential for jokes is fucking endless.

I do not want them to get separated. I don’t want any “Lily and Frank go here and MacGregor is like organising from there” shit or anything like that. No “MacGregor has his own adventure as a subplot”, nothing that exceeds what the first movie had with his brief submarine abduction. My happiness depends on the trio.

Protect 👏 MacGregor 👏 from 👏 the 👏 sun 👏

Frank’s mom. I wanna know about frank’s mom. I know she’s long dead but y’know. Maybe they could go to africa, maybe that’s where she was from too and they could deal with how colonialism is ruining the continent. Maybe sth personally connected to Frank’s family/mom that white colonisers treat like it’s theirs and are real disrespectful about (since it would be a pretty old thing).

Honestly if they just let Dwayne, Emily and Jack do their usual thing, improvising half their jokes and having fun on set I don’t see what could go wrong.

That’s it for now. Might make a second post when I have more ideas. @ disney feel free to get inspired.

[bre-meister]

absolutely adore the way you write the greens! so buttercup and butch and just domestic bliss? just any fluff is fine!

first, I’d like to apologize for long this took, and then I’d like to apologize for how long this is...she got a little out of hand but I hope you like it!

                                                   Family Trips

Butch was happy. Quite frankly, he couldn’t recall a time in the last few years that he hadn’t been happy, but today he was especially happy. 

Buttercup had offhandedly mentioned needing some basic things for around the house when they had been cleaning up after dinner one night and he knew their four year old could use a new pair of shoes - God knows that kid went through sneakers like a maniac but Butch supposed between his superpowers and being his son that it wasn’t that surprising. So, he had suggested that they take advantage of the upcoming weekend and spend a day downtown. Both adults agreed that now would probably be the best time to get some much-needed shopping done considering the recent drop in monster attacks that usually came with the changing of seasons. 

So, when Saturday rolled around Butch woke in a good mood knowing that this would be a day specifically for spending time with his family. His mood got even better when Bruce was well mannered at breakfast. Despite being very obviously excited for a day out, the boy was showing none of his usual signs of misbehavior even going as far as to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ when Buttercup asked him what he wanted for breakfast. 

The car ride to the mall was also uneventful in the best of ways. Bruce sat in his car seat with no objections and talked candidly about all the fun things he would do when he stayed the night at his cousin’s later that day. Butch made a mental note as he drove that a stop at the candy store would probably be in order before they dropped Bruce off at Brick and Blossom’s.

“Mamma?” Bruce ended his excited rant to ask his mother a question,

“What’s up, green bean?” Butch smiled at the nickname his wife had for their son.

“Can I get a dinosaur so I can take it with me and I can play with Bryce?”

“I know for a fact that Bryce had tons of dinosaurs you guys could play with tonight. I’m sure Bryce wouldn’t mind sharing.”

Butch could see Bryce’s face form a small scowl from a quick look in the rearview mirror. 

“Ya but, I don’t have any to play with at home either.”

“Well buddy,” Butch interjected, “you would if hadn’t broken yours.”

Bruce deflated at the memory of why he no longer had any dinosaur toys.

“Here’s the deal.” Buttercup turned in her seat slightly until she could look Bruce in the face, “If you behave, maybe Daddy and I will let you pick out a new dinosaur.”

Bruce immediately perked up at the possibility of a new toy,

“Really?”

“Only if you behave the whole time.”  At that, Buttercup reached to tug playfully on one of Bruce’s legs.

The little boy pulled back and roared, throwing his arms up. Butch could only assume that he was pretending to be a dinosaur. He let out a chuckle as Buttercup continued their little game until Butch found a parking spot.

“Ok mister dinosaur,” Butch opened the passenger side door and helped Bruce out of his seat, “remember the deal.”

Bruce smiled up at his father, “Behave!”

Butch chuckled before holding his hand out for Bruce to hold onto as they crossed the parking lot and entered the typically crowded mall.

For his credit, Bruce sat patiently as a store clerk fitted him for new sneakers - green of course. He politely gave his input on what dress his Mamma looked prettiest in for her interview with his aunties the next week. He even ate his lunch in the food court without making any more of a mess one would expect from a four-year-old.

After lunch, the small family had just two more things from their list to pick up. Thankfully, the sheets and towels that Buttercup preferred were found in the same store.

“Mamma,” Bruce tugged on Buttercup’s hand as they made their way inside the homeware shop, “can I ride in the cart?”

Buttercup looked at the lines of grey shopping carts that Bruce was currently pointing at.

“Are you going to stay in the cart the whole time?”

The little boy nodded his affirmation so Butch made his way over to snag one, ruffling Bruce’s hair as he went.

Butch knew when he suggested this family day at the mall that Bruce would most probably be tired by the end and he could tell his original instinct when, instead of floating up into the seat himself, Bruce lifted his arms up to Butch. He made a show of lifting the boy into the little plastic seat upfront - even without his powers, it would take minimal effort considering that Bruce was a little small for his age - causing the four-year-old to giggle.

“You’re silly Daddy.”

“Am I? Or are you just really heavy?”

“Am not! Mamma, am I heavy?”

Buttercup chuckled at her two boy’s antics,

“No baby, but Daddy is.”

Butch scoffed, placing a hand over his heart in mock indignation and hurt. Buttercup turned her head slightly but didn’t stop pushing the cart towards where she knew the sheets would be. Bruce laughed at his parents' familiar back and forth.

“That’s pure muscle you're talking about, woman! Heavy my ass.” Butch said once he caught back up.

Buttercup gave him a look. Bruce tended to repeat words he learned from his Dad and, more often than not, it would lead to a scolding for her from her older sister. He mouthed a sorry towards her but they both knew he wasn’t. Personally Butch thought those lectures were kind of funny considering that, before they got together, Brick cursed like a sailor. His older brother would still let something slip every now and again - it never quite ended well for the redhead when that happened.

Bruce seemed to have not noticed Butch’s own slip up though, 

“I’m gonna have mus-cels just like you Daddy!” Butch could tell that, sometimes, Bruce was bothered by his small size. He always tried his best to encourage him when that happened,

“Of course buddy! You’ll get there in time, just like me.”

Buttercup made a beeline straight to the collection of black sheets, stopping in front of the vast choices to decide which ones to purchase. Butch never put in his two sense on these kinds of things. If it were up to him they'd probably be sleeping on the scratchiest sheets in existence - just something to cover the mattress. He’d learned in the years they’d been together though that his wife had skin more sensitive to these kinds of things than him so he usually just let her get whatever she wanted and when he had to pick, he’d just go with whatever was softest.

They'd been standing in silence for a few moments until Bruce spoke up,

“How much longer Mamma?”

“Not much longer green bean. I just need to figure out which one of these is least likely to tear.” Buttercup pushed and pulled the cart in front of her slightly in an attempt to calm Bruce.

“I feel like we just bought sheets.” She said exasperatedly.

“Probably because we did. Ya know, we wouldn’t have to keep buying them if someone would just stop ripping them.” Butch lowered his voice to a level he knew only BC would be able to hear, Bruce not having learned how to train his superhearing to that extent yet.

Buttercup blushed at the implications of the sentence. She looked away from all the sheets for a moment to sneak a glance at Bruce who looked to be on the verge of a twitching episode brought on by his annoyance at all the sheets - a quirk he inherited from his dad. One look at the kid told both his parents that he would need a nap before heading over to the red’s place.

“Hey, the towels are just around the corner. Would you mind - ?”

“Don’t worry, I got you.” Butch didn’t need her to explain to know what her goal here was, they knew each other better than anyone. If they split up they could get out of here faster which meant Bruce could get his nap faster. 

He also knew that no matter how tired he was Bruce would insist on getting his Dinosaur. Butch supposed he earned it - his behavior today had been wonderful aside from currently but who could really blame him?

By the time he found what he considered to be the fluffiest towels available - green, gotta stick with the theme - Buttercup had apparently decided which sheets would put up the most fight against her superstrength. He met back up with her and Bruce in the line for the register upfront, the latter of which was almost jumping out of his seat at this point.

Deciding to avoid disaster before it struck, Butch placed the new set of towels in the cart and gathered the squirming child into his arms. Bruce seemed to settle down once he was no longer confined to the shopping cart.

Looking ahead of him at the long line for checkout Butch made an executive decision.

“Hey,” he turned towards his wife, “I’m gonna take the little man to the toy store and get him his reward.”

“Dinosaur?” Bruce perked up immediately.

Buttercup shot Butch a thankful look before turning to address their little boy,

“Well you held up your end of the deal, it’s only fair we hold up ours. But you still have to behave for the rest of the trip, got it?”

Bruce shook his head eagerly, giggling as his Momma tickled his stomach. 

Butch made to set the boy down so he could walk but was stopped by Bruce’s protest,

“No Daddy.” He tugged on Butch’s sleeve slightly to let him know that he wanted to be carried. 

Usually, he would insist that Bruce walk, he was a big boy after all but Butch knew he would probably be pushing his luck. Butch was a brave man but even brave men did not want to handle superpowered tantrums in a crowded place. 

Placing the boy back on his hip, Butch was reminded of when Bruce was smaller and he’d carry him around more often. His kid was already four now - time really flew by. 

Bruce layed his head down on Butch’s shoulder and, for a minute, Butch thought the boy had fallen asleep due to how quiet he was. He was proven wrong though as soon as the toy store came into view. Bruce immediately began to squirm in his father’s hold - a sign he wanted to be put down. Butch complied but kept a firm grip on the child to avoid a superpowered accident. 

Butch noticed that Bruce seemed to take careful consideration as to which toy he wanted. Eventually, he had narrowed his choices down to either a green and blue-winged dinosaur and a purple t-rex. Bruce looked up to his dad with the biggest puppy dog eyes he could muster and, although Butch had a weakness in anything involving his kid, he had prepared himself for this. He schooled his features into what he hoped conveyed sternness.

“One.” He held up a finger to emphasize.

Bruce sighed deeply and Butch tried to hide his chuckle at the blatant show of disappointment. The child stared at the two plastic toys in his hand before ultimately deciding.

“I want the pterodactyl!” Bruce held up his prize to his dad’s face.

“Are you sure?”

“Mhmm, I’m sure Daddy.”

Butch’s superhearing picked up on a few older women swooning over the apparent cuteness of their current scene. 

“Look at how cute they are.”

“Men with babies are just adorable.”

Bruce must have picked up on them because he turned to the end of the aisle and assured the two women that he was most definitely not a baby.

Butch made to apologize on behalf of this kid but the women waved him off,

“Of course, how silly of us. You’ve got quite a brilliant young man on your hands there.”

“Oh,” Butch answered back, “you have no idea.”

The two women laughed. They made a few more comments before leaving, mostly about how handsome Bruce was and how he looked the spitting image of his father - Butch had to agree with both. 

Father and son made their way to the front of the store to pay for the toy.”

“What’s this again, a triceratops?” Butch knew that he was wrong. He lifted the toy towards his face and made a show of examining it just to get a laugh out of his kid. The question was also used to distract the once again noticeably tired child as they waited in line.

“No Daddy,” Bruce sounded exasperated and Butch couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face, “It’s a pterodactyl.” 

“Hmm. You should make sure to show Uncle brick when you see him today ok? I don’t think he knows his dinosaurs very well.” 

Bruce perked up at the idea of teaching his super-smart uncle something new. Butch knew he was being a little shit but he couldn’t help it. Brick wouldn’t correct the little boy but he knew he would be practically dying to give the boy a lecture as to why ‘pterodactyls’ aren’t a real dinosaur and how the proper name was pteranodon (look, Butch was a smart cookie too he just didn’t flaunt it the same way as his brother).

After paying and handing the toy back off to Bruce, Butch checked his phone to see a message from his wife to meet her back at the car.

Bruce once again motioned that he didn’t want to walk. This time Butch placed the kid on his shoulders and Bruce sat contentedly, one hand gripping onto his hair to keep himself steady. One the walk to the car Bruce used his free hand to make his new dinosaur fly, squawking noises Butcha assumed were supposed to be dinosaur sounds occasionally escaped from his mouth.

When they finally made it to where they had parked, Butch saw Buttercup leaning against the car with the various bags they had accumulated over the day sitting on the ground around her feet. He raised an eyebrow at her.

“You have the keys, genius.”  

Despite her rude comment, Buttercup placed a kiss on Butch’s cheek as she haled Bruce off of his shoulders. Bruce happily settled into his mother’s arms, eyes drooping, and head resting on her shoulder. Butch unlocked the doors as Buttercup made her was around the car.

“Are you tired, green bean?”

Butch heard Bruce mumble his dissent and he imagined that the boy was shaking his head although he couldn’t actually see from where he was placing the bags in the back of the car.

Walking back around to the driver's side door Butch could see his wife place a kiss on their son’s head. Bruce responded with another squawk and Butch couldn’t help but smile at the sight of his wife laughing so candidly with their son, happiness exuding from both of them.

The car ride home was just long enough to lull Bruce off to sleep. Buttercup made sure to be gentle as she brought the sleeping child inside the house and up to his room. When he woke he’d be upset that he had indeed succumbed to the nap that he so obviously needed - preferring to have rather gotten to his cousin's house early so he could show off his new dinosaur.

Pulling the covers back Buttercup layed Bruce down in the small bed and carefully tucked the covers around his little body. Bruce shifted, turning from his back to his side and hugging his new toy closer. Buttercup moved his bangs out of his face.

“He’s gonna need a haircut soon,” Buttercup said in a form of acknowledgment of her husband having entered the room. Her voice was low so as to not wake the sleeping child.

Butch hummed, moving away from the door frame where he had been standing and closer to the bed. 

“You need one too.” Butch ran a hand through his hair. She was right. He tended to keep the sides short but the hair on the top of his head was beginning to curl in front of his eyes. 

“I brought all the bags in.” He mimicked her volume level.

“And I suppose that's all you did?” Buttercup said, referring to his habit of bringing in groceries but leaving them on the counter instead of putting them in their right place.

Butch just shrugged,

“ I wanted to come check in on you two. I’ll put everything away later.”

Buttercup turned her head away from him but not fast enough to hide the small smile that tugged at her lips. Looking back down at their son she placed a kiss on his chubby cheeks before standing up from the bed. Butch opens his arms and Buttercup gladly accepts the affection.

“He’s getting so big.” she sighed.

“I know. Thank you for giving him to me. I never thought I’d ever have...anything like this, I -”

“Stop it.” Buttercup sternly interrupted him. “It doesn't matter what you may or may not have done in the past, it’s exactly that - the past. I love you, ok? So much. So does Bruce. That little boy adores you, Butch; you say he’s a Mamma’s boy, but all I see is that he wants to be just like his Daddy. Don’t ever say anything like that again.” By the end of her scolding Buttercup was holding Butch’s face in her hands. Butch leaned in and kissed her.

When they broke apart, Butch looked back over to Bruce who was still sleeping peacefully, hair having fallen back into his face.

“We should have another one.” the words slipped from his mouth before he could stop them,

It was something they'd been considering lately - having another kid. Butch wanted to. Secretly, he was hoping they’d have a little girl. He could see it now; she’d look just like her Mamma and he’d spoil her senseless. Bruce would be a great big brother.

“I want that.”

“What?” he was confused.

“Whatever world you’re thinking up in your head where we’re all happy and loved and Bruce gets a sibling, I want it.” Buttercup was smiling so wide Butch couldn’t help but mirror her. 

“How did you…?”

“You say it all the time, we know each other better than anyone; sometimes better than we know ourselves.”

Butch didn’t think his smile could get any larger but as he stood there with his loving, beautiful wife in his arms and his son sleeping peacefully and contently just a few steps away, he couldn’t help it. His smile was so wide and so bright and yet, Butch knew that it still couldn’t convey just how happy he was, how lucky he was, how...loved he was in this life that he never thought he’d be able to live.

[renaerys]

PPG One-Shot: Shook (Brick/Blossom)

{{Original posting unfortunately deleted. Reposted here.}}

Summary: When Butch and Buttercup’s fighting goes a bit too far, Blossom takes it upon herself to intervene. Reds.

xxx

Brick woke up with pinprick pain in his temples this morning, a sure indicator that today was going to be a bad day.

His headache only progressed throughout the day, and by the end of sixth period AP European History, he was fantasizing about how good Marie Antoinette and Louis XVI had it with that guillotine. Quick, painless, and blissful freedom from the squabbling peasants who would never have let them off easy anyway.

“Dude, you’re doing it again.”

Brick could feel his brother’s big, blue eyes on the back of his head as he unloaded his books at his locker. “What.”

“The resting serial killer face.”

Brick glanced at his reflection in the small mirror he had affixed to his locker door. Tired, red eyes stared back at him, mouth in a harsh, thin line, and his trademark red cap backwards over his red hair. His bangs were getting a little long.

He slammed the locker door. “Maybe take the hint.”

Boomer, unlike most of the plebeians at Townsville High School, didn’t cower in fear at his brother’s bloody glare. He smiled and threw a letter-jacket-clad arm over Brick’s shoulders. “Lighten up, man. It’s Friday! Julie’s party is tonight, remember?”

Shit, Brick had forgotten. He vaguely remembered agreeing to go to that.

“Someone say party?” Wes Goingon, a guy so pale he looked like he’d been bleached at birth, approached them hand in hand with his girlfriend, Kim Chan.

Kim smiled brightly at Brick. “Oh yeah, Julie’s! You guys are going, right?”

Boomer dragged Brick into step with their friends, and he was too tired to resist. “For sure.”

Brick sighed. “I don’t know, I’ve got a migraine. I might sit this one out.”

“No way, you gotta come!” Wes said. “It’s not a party without you.”

Kim nudged Brick affectionately. “He’s right, but if you’re not feeling well, you should stay home. I noticed you were kind of quiet today.”

“Shh, Kim, don’t give him a way out. Everybody’s gonna be there,” Boomer said. “It’s the last party before Fall Break!”

Fall Break, yes, that was an appealing prospect. A whole week off from school to do what he wanted without having to deal with all the bullshit of high school daily life. Brick didn’t hate it as much as he’d thought he would. Even with his reputation as a Rowdyruff Boy following him, there had been some brave souls who’d given him and his brothers a chance to be normal seventeen-year-old boys, something he hadn’t had back in Citiesville before transferring. Even if many were wary of him, there were a few like Wes and Kim who were so used to sharing the halls with Supers that they barely noticed the difference.

The four of them were approaching the west exit when Brick came across the last person he wanted to see. His migraine flared at the mere sight of her and the suspicion in her gaze that was as ubiquitous as her red hair ribbon whenever they unfortunately crossed paths.

“Hey Blossom!” Kim said, bounding over.

“Hi Kim,” Blossom said, bypassing her to approach Brick, but it turned out it wasn’t him she was looking for. “Boomer, I’m glad I ran into you. Have you seen my sister anywhere?”

Brick watched her talking to his brother like he wasn’t standing right there and felt his blood pressure begin to rise. No matter how much time he spent breathing the same air as this girl, he couldn’t get past his dislike of her. They were no longer arch enemies looking to grind each other into the ground, their childhood enmity mostly behind them now that they were older and more interested in living their lives in peace. But even so, Brick had never had any desire to befriend Blossom or her Super sisters, Bubbles and Buttercup.

Still, she didn’t have to ignore him so obviously. She was always doing petty crap like that. So juvenile.

Boomer, of course, had no such qualms about mingling with Townsville’s resident heroes. Brick wasn’t sure how it had happened, but somehow Boomer had befriended Bubbles, played sports with Buttercup, and was even on amicable terms with Blossom.

“Which one?” Boomer asked, running a hand through his short, blond hair like he was thinking about how it looked in front of her.

The fuck, Brick thought.

“Bubbles. She was supposed to meet me after class, but she’s not answering her phone.”

“No, sorry. I haven’t seen her since lunch.”

Blossom tugged on her long, red ponytail, something she did whenever she was troubled by something. Brick hated that he knew this about her.

“Oh, all right. Well, if you hear from her, can you let me know?”

“Sure thing.”

Her rosy gaze finally flickered to Brick, and she matched his frown. He told himself to ignore her and her unwarranted suspicion of him—it wasn’t like they were twelve anymore and he was going to rob a convenience store, for fuck’s sake—but he also was not about to look away first.

“Brick,” she said curtly, but she might as well have told him to go jump in a lake.

“Blossom,” he said just as clipped. And, just because he knew how annoyingly hyper-alert she got when they were around each other, he let his eyes flicker briefly over her figure, today clad in casual capris and a sleeveless top.

Just his luck that one of the hottest girls in school had such a frustrating personality.

Of course, she noticed him briefly checking her out and crossed her arms. Her pretty eyes narrowed, and the air around them charged. Boomer noticed her subtly spiking energy levels and shrank back instinctively. Brick held his ground, wondering if she’d tell him off. He kind of hoped she would if only to distract him from his pounding headache.

Wes and Kim, oblivious to the electrifying tension, were still talking about Blossom’s missing sister.

Or rather, sisters plural.

“Yeah, I think I saw them leave together. They were in kind of a hurry,” Wes said.

“Really? Since when are Butch and Buttercup so chummy?” Kim asked.

At the mention of his trigger-happy brother, Brick tore his gaze from Blossom. “What about Butch?”

Blossom also forgot her rising annoyance and focused on Wes. “What are you talking about? They left together?”

Wes looked between Brick and Blossom, and it was his turn to shrink. Friends or not, being on the receiving end of both Reds’ glares at the same time was enough to make a guy quail. “Uh, yeah, like I saw them both dash out after sixth period��”

“Together?” Blossom demanded.

“Kind of?” Wes put his hands up like he was trying to placate a pair of wild animals. “More like he dragged her out? I mean, not violently or something!”

Blossom paled, and Brick rolled his eyes. It didn’t take a genius to figure out what had happened. Butch couldn’t seem to go a full week without fighting the only person on the planet dumb enough to rise to his challenge every time. Mostly, Brick didn’t care what his brother did as long as it didn’t blow back on Boomer and him, and for the most part Butch behaved. But lately, he’d been hitting the gym twice a day and even pestering Brick for spars more often than usual. As if fighting Buttercup wasn’t enough of a challenge for him already.

“Oh, so they probably went to fight. Hey, maybe Bubbles is with them?” Boomer said.

Blossom was still white as a sheet. “They can’t fight right now. She’s in no condition.”

Brick was about to tell her to calm down, she was overreacting about every goddamned little thing as usual, but Blossom dashed off in a flash of pink before he could get a word in. Kim was knocked over with the force of it, and Boomer was forced to catch her when she bumped into Wes and they both almost went down.

“Jeez, what was that about?!” Kim griped.

“You okay?” Boomer asked.

Brick scowled deeply. What was she thinking using her powers in school? Of all people, Blossom would never. What had crawled up her ass today? He had half a mind to find out.

“Come on, Boomer,” he said.

“Wait, where are we going?”

But Brick dashed off in a blinding blaze of red in much the same fashion as Blossom before him, knocking all three of them down in his haste to catch up to her.

xxx

Buttercup heaved and spat blood. The Chemical X in her system was sluggish as it depleted so much faster than usual, and she felt Butch’s punches like a ton of bricks. He came in fast and hard again, and this time Buttercup dodged the brunt of his punch and sent him spinning away.

“C’mon, BC! Enough of this cat and mouse crap,” Butch taunted. “Fight me! Unless you’re too much of a pussy.”

“Fuck you,” Buttercup spat.

Trash talk had always been a part of their clashes, and normally it added to the fire she felt beneath her skin at the prospect of handing him his ass. But their last fight had been particularly brutal just a few days ago, and while Buttercup would never admit weakness, she was not fully recovered from it.

Should’ve listened to Blossom and taken that X supplement…

Buttercup silenced that traitorous thought. She didn’t need help. She was the toughest fighter for a reason. A little roughhousing didn’t merit all that coddling. Then again, she hadn’t expected Butch to be raring to go again so soon.

“Guys, really! I think you should just call it quits for today!” Bubbles said, hovering close but not close enough to get in between them. She was not suicidal.

Butch glanced at her askance. “Hey, no one asked you, Blondie. I don’t mind an audience, but this is between me ’n your sister, so be a good girl and mind your own fucking business.”

Buttercup seethed. “Don’t talk to her like that!”

“Oh, yeah? What’re you gonna do about it?”

The taunt was transparent, but Buttercup fell for it all the same. She always fell for it, her body screaming to meet his blow for blow even if her mind knew better. It had always been that way with Butch, supernatural. He’d been created to destroy her, and even now that they were older and grown out of that artificial good versus evil bullshit, sometimes she felt like he really was out to obliterate her. She lived for that challenge, that push to the limits of fear and fatality, knowing in her bones that no one could get her as close to the edge as Butch could.

And so, reckless in pursuit of that special high only he could give her, Buttercup rocketed toward him, her fists crackling green with power. Butch caught her fists in his, and their power exploded between them.

Buttercup was invincible for all of a half second, and then came the pain. She was blown back with such force that she went flying and landed hard in the parking lot of the Shankaplex movie theater, totaling two cars and ripping a crater open in the asphalt. Her body ached, and when she opened her eyes, she saw double.

“Buttercup!” Bubbles screamed.

But it wasn’t Bubbles who pulled her out of that crater. Butch’s rough hands had her by the collar of her shirt, and he lifted her like a rag doll. His arms smoked where Buttercup’s power had burned him, but his X was healing him fast, and pain had never bothered him anyway.

“Tsk tsk, taking a nap? Am I boring you that much?”

Buttercup could feel that he was about to throw her, and she made a grab for his wrists, only to find that her hands were bruised and cut, and her palms were slick with her own blood. Chemical X was barely healing her at all anymore. A brief flicker of panic petrified her, and Butch smelled it like a shark scenting blood in the water.

“Guess it’s time to finish you off,” he said, grinning.

But he never got the chance, because Bubbles swooped in and tackled him into a movie poster display at full power. Buttercup fell to her knees, coughing and shaking in pain, but her thoughts were only of Bubbles. That inkling of panic she’d felt before blossomed into full-on fear for her baby sister. Bubbles was no match for Butch, not when he was raring to go like this.

As if to prove her fears true, Bubbles went crashing into the asphalt next to Buttercup seconds later, having taken one of Butch’s punishing punches to the stomach dead on. Buttercup stared at her fallen sister and shook with rage.

“What the fuck, Butch! You leave her out of this!” Buttercup screamed at him.

Butch cracked his neck. A horrible gash on his face where Bubbles had injured him sealed before Buttercup’s eyes as the X in his system came to his aid.

“I’m okay,” Bubbles said, sitting up and clutching her stomach. “Just a little winded…”

“Hey, she threw the first punch. Don’t be jealous, BC. You know you’re my main squeeze.” He grinned salaciously at her.

Excruciatingly, Buttercup forced herself to get up. Her limbs were on fire. Logically, she knew she could not take Butch in her state. She had no idea how he had recovered faster than her—fucking teenage boy hormones—but he was in top form and she couldn’t hope to face him fairly like this. Fear faded to fury at her own shortcomings. They were supposed to be equals, but nothing she threw at him could bring him down today.

Still, Buttercup had never forfeited a fight, and she wasn’t about to start now.

“Buttercup, no! You can’t fight him like this! Let me—”

“Shut up, Bubbles,” Buttercup hissed. No way was she going to let Bubbles clean up her mess. Butch was and always would be her problem. She wasn’t going to let him near her sister.

Butch laughed. “That’s more like it. Now, where were we? Oh yeah, here!”

He shot off again, and Buttercup braced herself for a world of pain. If she could just tire him out enough to call it quits, that would be enough without having to forfeit, surely.

A blinding blast of pink energy intercepted Butch before he could ram Buttercup, and she was blown back into Bubble’s arms before she could eat concrete again. When she came to, she saw Blossom’s long ponytail fluttering past her waist, her bare arms sparking with raw, pink power and a deep crag in the concrete leading from her to where Butch now kneeled, smoking and breathing heavily.

Manic jade looked up at Blossom, and despite herself, Buttercup shuddered at the sight. He was good and pissed off now. “And then there were three, huh? I’m in high demand today.”

Blossom ignored him. “Buttercup, are you okay?”

Buttercup’s ire flared again. “I’m fine. What’re you doing here?”

Blossom shot her a glare over her shoulder. “Cleaning up your mess, as usual. What were you thinking fighting him in your state? You know you’re not recovered.”

Pride told Buttercup to defy her imperious sister, but shame and guilt knowing Blossom was right held her back. But it wasn’t like she’d had a choice! When Butch got it in his head that he wanted a fight, there was no stopping him. Before Buttercup got a chance to snap back at Blossom, they were interrupted again.

“What the fuck is this?” Brick landed next to Butch.

Butch rolled his eyes and got to his feet. “Nothing. This is between me and Buttercup.”

Brick’s creepy eyes scanned the ruined parking lot and the few civilians who had poked their heads out of the movie theater to gape at the Supers like fish out of water. “You, Buttercup, and the Mayor’s office when I have to make a case to the city not to fine us for all this property damage.”

An admiring whistle drew everyone’s attention to Boomer hovering a short ways away surveying the damage. “Damn, Butch. You got something against Frozen 2?”

Sure enough, the new kids’ movie advertisement poster was totally destroyed thanks to the explosive fight.

“Huh?” Butch said.

“Enough,” Blossom said. “Brick, take your brother home. He’s done enough damage for one day.”

Brick glared at her, and Buttercup braced herself for the spat she knew was coming.

“We’re not finished here,” Butch said before Brick could get into it with Blossom. “So why don’t you march that fine ass back to chess club or whatever the hell you do after school?”

Brick turned his glare on Butch, and Buttercup felt its departure like the cruel summer sun dipping behind the clouds.

Bubbles gasped. “No! Buttercup, you can’t fight him anymore! I told you this was a bad idea!”

Blossom somehow looked even more incensed. “You came here willingly? I rushed over here thinking Butch had forced you into a fight. Buttercup, what were you thinking?”

“I was thinking this has nothing to do with you,” Buttercup said petulantly.

“You’re bleeding.”

“I’m fine.”

“You’re not fine.” Blossom growled in frustration. “Why is it always a fight with you? You know what, I don’t care. We’ll talk about this later. Bubbles, take her home.”

Bubbles moved to do that, but one look from Buttercup stayed her hand. No way, no fucking way was Buttercup going to let her big sister swoop in and embarrass her like this. Butch would never let her live it down.

“Hey! Are you deaf? I said this is between me and Buttercup. I’m not gonna tell you again, Blossom.”

Butch bared his teeth, and Buttercup felt her skin crawl. He was seriously not done yet, and a very small part of her began to feel the fear creeping back in. She was not in any condition to fight him, she knew that, but he was in no condition to stop.

“Butch,” Brick warned.

But Butch smacked his hand away. His whole body sparked with green energy, ready to snap. Despite herself, Buttercup swallowed hard.

“Fine,” Blossom said. “You want a fight? I’ll give you the fight of your life.”

Buttercup gaped open-mouthed at her sister, not sure if she’d heard right. Blossom never fought unless all other avenues were exhausted, and she certainly never fought Butch. Even Brick looked momentarily stunned at her challenge.

Butch was quicker to recover and burst out laughing. “Good one! Now seriously, get the hell outta my way.”

Blossom didn’t budge. “No.”

All traces of humor left Butch as he regarded her, and then he glanced at Brick. “Hey, I’m not gonna tell you again. I’m not here for you, so move.”

Blossom was busy removing her pearl studs and bracelet. When she held them out, Buttercup was still too stunned to do anything but accept them without protest.

“This won’t take long,” Blossom said, tightening her ponytail.

“Brick,” Boomer said warily, landing next to his brother.

Brick bristled. “Forget this. I’ll fight you, you fucking masochist.”

“No way bro,” Butch said, stepping forward. “Ladies first. She wants me, can’t you tell?”

Blossom actually laughed, stunning Buttercup for the second time in as many minutes. “Honestly, Buttercup, how do you take this boy seriously?”

Buttercup wanted to be mad, but Butch’s reaction was so sudden and so visceral that it gave her whiplash. He began to shake as his power leaked out of him and clogged the air like noxious fumes. That little, emasculating laugh got him more worked up than any number of Buttercup’s punches had today.

“Hey.” Buttercup reached for Blossom and they locked gazes. She shivered at the cold look in her sister’s eyes. It was one she had not often seen, but one she knew better than to question. The instinct to shrink back was so overwhelming that Buttercup felt her stomach turn, and it was not even directed at her.

She remembered a fight many, many years ago when Princess Morbucks had pushed Blossom too far in her pursuit of power. It was the first time Buttercup had ever seen that remorseless look in her sister’s eyes, and she would never forget it.

Butch was no longer grinning. “I’m gonna enjoy putting you in your place.”

Blossom cocked her head. She was still smiling that eerie, cold smile. “I’m waiting.”

That did it. Before anyone could blink, Butch was coming straight for her, fists blazing.

xxx

“Oh shit!” Boomer flew up to join Bubbles, Buttercup, and Brick in the air as they watched Blossom and Butch collide in a conflagration of pink and green. Butch’s punches, delivered hard and swift enough to break the sound barrier, carried like thunder. “Should we, like, do something?!”

Brick was eerily silent next to him as he followed the fight with a calculating eye. “If he hits her, she’s done for.”

“Like hell,” Buttercup spat. “She’s strong. You should know.”

“Wait, I thought you were the one who was against this?” Boomer asked.

Buttercup grimaced, but she stubbornly refused to let on how much pain she was in. Now that Boomer got a good look at her, she really looked trashed. Jesus, had Butch really done that to her?

“Doesn’t mean I don’t know my sister. She can take him.”

“Except she can’t,” Brick said, watching as Butch fired a green energy beam at Blossom that sent her careening high into the clouds. “I know her too. She’s a glass cannon.”

Blossom’s pink streak came flying in faster than Boomer had ever seen her fly, and Butch was waiting for her with a welcome punch that connected with her ribs. But Blossom swerved with his force and rammed her elbow mercilessly against the back of his neck. Her blunt force was so great that he went cashing into the woods beyond the Shankaplex, where he landed with a monstrous crack. Blossom waited for him to reemerge, a hand pressed to her side but otherwise masking her pain.

Bubbles gasped, and Buttercup shot Brick a scathing grin. “You were saying?”

Brick’s eyes were glued to Blossom. “Butch hits like a freight train. She won’t be able to absorb his punches indefinitely.”

Buttercup laughed, but in her injured state, it came out more like a wheeze. “Dude, you don’t know this Blossom.”

Brick glanced at her askance, and Boomer wondered. What did that mean?

“That tickled!” Butch shouted as he came flying back ready to go again. “Do it again!”

Blossom was silent as she waited for him to come to her. He came in hot, but this time she didn’t let his punch connect. More elegantly than Boomer thought her capable of, Blossom avoided him entirely, grabbed his hair, and kneed him in the stomach.

Boomer gasped—gasped, because holy hell—as Butch hacked up a lung and clutched his stomach. “I think she broke some ribs!” Chemical X or no, that one really had to hurt.

Blossom put some distance between Butch and herself and took a deep breath.

“Incoming!” Bubbles dashed away with Buttercup, and Boomer shoved Brick out of the path of danger just in time to avoid getting caught up in Blossom’s powerful ice breath.

Butch didn’t even try to avoid it, and soon he was covered in a layer of thick ice. Not one to be restrained, however, his eyes glowed red and his eye beams burst through the ice. Blossom avoided the laser that wasn’t really aiming at her anyway and came in from behind to catch him unawares.

Unfortunately, Butch was not bothered by the ice and burst out of it just as Blossom came in close. He managed to grab her ponytail and reel her in like a fish. The punch he landed on her jaw sent her spinning, and she hit a billboard advertising pet food right through Talking Dog’s face.

“Ha!!! Take that!” Butch dashed after her, and Boomer watched as Blossom peeled herself off the destroyed billboard and narrowly avoided a second pummeling. Butch hit the billboard and knocked the whole structure over like a falling domino. It was only Bubbles’ timely intervention that kept it from crashing on top of a Cooper’s Market.

Pink and green sped around each other as Butch chased Blossom. He fired his eye beams and his green energy beams in the hopes of hitting her at a distance, but she was quick and extremely precise in her movements in a way Boomer knew he himself was not, and Butch was even less coordinated than him. It was like watching Brick, he realized. Brick was so in control of his body, of every single minute movement he made, that it didn’t matter that he wasn’t physically as strong as Butch or as fast as Boomer. There was no surprising him or tripping him up, and Blossom was no different.

But did Butch know that?

“Stop running! I thought you were gonna give me the fight of my life, what happened? You scared?” Butch taunted as he tried to catch Blossom.

She was stony-faced as she avoided his grabs and his eye beams alike, but made no effort to return fire or respond.

“That’s risky,” Brick muttered.

“What’s risky?” Boomer asked.

“She’s trying to tire him out, hoping he’ll burn up all his X. But Butch has more reserves than you or me. His stamina’s even better than Buttercup’s.”

“That’s not what she’s doing,” Bubbles said.

Brick shot her a withering look like he couldn’t believe she dared to contradict him. “Oh, really?” he said sarcastically.

Bubbles didn’t even flinch. “Really.”

Brick scoffed and returned his attention to the fight.

“What’s the matter, Blossom! Get over here and fight me!”

Butch threw another punch that she artfully avoided. Pissed off, he shot at her with his eye beams, but Blossom swerved and struck him with the heel of her hand under the jaw. His eye beams went awry.

“Shit!” Buttercup said.

Brick was paying closer attention than Boomer, however, and intercepted the stray eye beams before they could strike anyone. His jacket sleeve smoked and sizzled where a new hole had opened up.

“Tch,” he said.

Butch shook himself out like a wet dog. He was bleeding from his mouth and his eyes were dilated, but he was still fighting fit. If he was wearing out, he was hiding it well. Boomer glanced at Bubbles.

“So what is Blossom doing?”

Bubbles looked more concerned than grim as she watched. “She’s feeling him out.”

“She’s making him mad,” Buttercup said.

Boomer winced. That didn’t sound like a good idea facing Butch. The guy was an unstoppable force when he was mad.

“But why—”

Crack!

Boomer whipped around just in time to see that Butch had finally landed another hit on Blossom and sent her flying out of control. She clutched her side as he sped after her, no longer laughing or taunting; he just wanted to finish her off now, it seemed. Beside Boomer, Brick sucked in an audible breath as he watched.

Butch wound up a punch. Blossom wasn’t moving to avoid. Boomer lost his mind.

“Watch out!” he screamed at her, unable to help himself.

Buttercup and Brick looked at Boomer like he’d grown another head. Butch caught up to Blossom, but just as his punch connected, she grabbed his wrist, spun gracefully behind him, and unleashed her eye beams at point blank range on the back of his neck.

Even Brick winced at that one.

“Fuck yeah!!” Buttercup shouted. “How’s that taste, Butch!”

Butch staggered in the air, his hands clutching his smoking neck. They came away bloody. Boomer didn’t miss the filthy look he shot Blossom.

“Forfeit,” Blossom called to him. “You can’t win.”

“Fuck you,” Butch spat. “I was going easy on you. No more.”

With a crackle of energy, Butch’s signature shield materialized around him. And then, he was after her again.

xxx

That’s it. She’s done, Brick thought to himself.

As soon as Butch brought out his shield, there was little and less to be done about it aside from waiting him out. Even Brick had trouble against him when he donned what was essentially impenetrable armor.

It was kind of a shame, really. She’d surprised him in this fight. Brick couldn’t recall her taking hits so well when they’d clashed in the past. Granted, that was years ago, but still.

He glanced at her sisters. They were still watching the fight, but they didn’t seem particularly deterred. Brick narrowed his eyes, and he considered.

Could she really…?

“Hiding behind your shield? How predictable,” Blossom taunted him, something Brick had rarely known her to do.

“I predict you’re about to eat shit!” Butch hurtled after her, but she danced ever out of reach.

His shield was truly something. It molded roughly to the shape of him, extending with his punches and folding with his blocks. It was a drain on his X reserves, but it was his best and only real defense.

Blossom couldn’t know this, though. Blossom had never fought Butch. But then, she was fast learning him with every punch, every dodge, every overreaction to her baiting.

Despite himself, Brick’s attention was fully arrested as he watched them. Even his migraine had subsided to a dull ache as he ignored it in favor of following the fight.

Blossom got in a good punch, but Butch’s shield was truly impenetrable, and all she got for her efforts was a crackle of jade sparks and a hurt fist. She immediately pulled back.

“That shield is so strong!” Bubbles said.

Buttercup grunted. Blossom didn’t try to hit Butch again, but he did his level best to strike her.

“Hey, is this what they call playing hard to get?” Butch sneered as he lobbed another punch at Blossom.

“I’m right here, Butch. Come and get me,” she taunted again.

What the hell is she playing at?

The Blossom Brick knew was not one to joke and jab, but the more she did it, the more riled up Butch got. She couldn’t possibly be trying to make him mad. That was suicidal for anyone who wasn’t Brick himself. And that shield…

“C’mon and give us a hug!” Butch sped after her, his only goal to grab her and crush her under the force of his shield. Sloppy and uncoordinated, but if he managed to grab her, that would be the end of it.

“What the—?!” Boomer sputtered.

Brick barely had time to be shocked as Blossom stopped her flight and spread her arms as if to hug Butch like he wanted. Brick was moving before he could process it, a command on the tip of his tongue, because no matter how much he despised Blossom, he couldn’t very well let his brother literally kill her.

Butch grabbed her before Brick could reach them, and Blossom flexed as she braced herself, her pink power manifesting like a second skin as Butch wrapped his meaty arms around her smaller frame with every intention of snapping her in half. Buttercup shouted something, but Brick couldn’t hear her over the racing wind in his ears as he tore after them, and then—

“F-F-Fuck!” Butch groaned.

His shield, his whole body was engulfed in preternatural ice as Blossom hugged him tight enough to break. Her arms were covered in ice that would not shatter no mater how much Butch struggled. He tried to fire off his eye beams, but she had ducked her head under his chin, safe from his fire. Impossibly, his green shield began to collapse as the ice and Blossom herself crushed him like a soda can.

They crash landed well away from the Shankaplex and any civilians just by the edge of the forest. Brick swooped down after them, the others not far behind. When he landed, he found Butch face down eating dirt and covered in chunks of ice, his shield completely dissipated, as Blossom towered over him. She had his wrists in her hands and her boot on the back of his head, grinding him further into the ground. Ice coated her arms like armor, and there was no mercy in her eyes.

“B-Blossom, babe, c’mon,” Butch said in what was meant to be a playful tone, but came out sounding like a whimper.

Blossom leaned down over him. “Call me babe again.” She drove her heel harder into the side of his head, sinking him deeper into the earth.

Butch struggled against her. He fired green energy beams from his palms, but Blossom pulled harder on his arms and sent them harmlessly awry.

“Let me be perfectly clear, Butch. You’re going to leave my sister alone for the rest of the month while you both recover.” She peered at him over her knee until his green eye swiveled to see her. “Tell me you understand.”

He grinned, and his teeth were a red ruin. “I don’t take orders from you—ah fuck!”

Blossom yanked his left arm back and dislocated it with a severe pop. She twisted the other one behind his back and hauled him up by his hair. “You do now.”

Her eyes glowed red, her hair was a windswept mess, and she had Butch—Butch, the fiercest fighter—on his fucking knees under her absolute control, and it was single-handedly the most beautiful sight Brick had ever seen in his life. It was perfect, and she was…

For a mad moment, he imagined her pinning him on his knees, her hand fisting his hair, exerting that control he had always pursued but never from her, until this moment.

“Brick, shouldn’t you…?” Boomer said.

Realizing she and Butch had an audience, Blossom looked up and locked eyes with Brick, and he shivered.

Oh hell.

“Hey, I like you on your knees,” Buttercup said, approaching Butch and Blossom. “Definitely your best angle.”

Butch spit blood and a piece of broken tooth. Nonetheless, he managed a smirk for her. “Next time, just ask.”

Blossom shoved him back into the dirt, and he promptly shut up.

Boomer sighed and floated over. “C’mon, dude. Let’s get you home.”

“I got it,” Butch complained, but he struggled to get to his feet.

“You seriously don’t. Can you even stand? Jesus.”

“Blossom!” Bubbles hugged her sister, who winced at the pressure.

“Bubbles, not so tight! I’m a little sore.” She smiled and brushed her bangs out of her eyes.

“You were amazing!”

Blossom grinned. “I know.”

“Serves you right, moron,” Buttercup said to Butch. “You’ll be pissing sitting down for a week.”

Boomer snorted as he looped Butch’s arm over his shoulder. “You got that right.”

“Ha ha, hilarious. Fuck you both,” Butch groused. His eyes flickered to Blossom, guarded.

“Brick? You coming?” Boomer asked.

Brick rubbed his mouth. He felt woozy. Bubbles shot him a curious look that he chose not to dwell on. “Take that idiot home. Make sure he doesn’t bleed all over the place.”

“Uh, right… What’re you gonna do?”

“I’m right behind you.”

His brothers flew off—or rather, Boomer flew and Butch dangled precariously from his shoulder. Finally, Brick turned his attention to Blossom.

“Blossom,” he said, his voice tight.

She looked up at him. “Brick.”

He swallowed, the image of her dominating Butch while she looked at him burned into his mind’s eye. So that was never going away… “Butch is my problem. Next time, you leave him to me.”

She regarded him, and so slowly he may have imagined it had he not been hyper-focused on her every movement, her lips curled in little smirk. “There’s not going to be a next time.”

In that moment, Brick had never felt so bewildered and so attracted to another person in his entire life. It was over all too soon as she showed him her back and spoke to her sisters. They were heading home. Like a fucking idiot, he just stood there, mind blown.

Did that really just happen?

Oh god, she was talking to him again. He blinked and tried to focus.

“What?” he said, fucking idiot that he was.

“The repairs. Look, I know you would rather chew glass than be around me, but you know the Mayor appreciates an in-person explanation and apology for this kind of damage. Are you coming, or do I have to tell him once again that you couldn’t be bothered?”

“No, I’m coming. I’ll talk to the Mayor with you.”

She peered at him like she didn’t quite recognize him. “All right… Thanks.”

xxx

That evening, after all was said and done and Boomer was showered and ready to go to Julie’s party, he gave Brick one more chance to come along instead of languor at home with a passed out Butch. The guy was out cold and would likely remain so for the next day after the beating Blossom had dealt him.

“You sure you don’t wanna come?” he asked.

Brick was lounging on the living room sofa where he had his nose in a Kurt Vonnegut novel. “No.”

“Everyone’s gonna be there, you know.”

“Great.” Ignore.

Boomer shrugged. “Wes and Kim, Mike, Robin, Bubbles, Harry, the Floyjoydson Twins.”

Brick grunted noncommittally.

Boomer adjusted his jacket and pretended not to watch Brick like a hawk. “Blossom too.”

Pause.

Brick’s gaze flickered over the top of his book to catch Boomer’s eye. “This isn’t some themed shit like that last one, is it?”

“Nope. Just friends, drinking games, the usual. But if your migraine’s still bugging you, I’d get you wanting to go to bed early—”

“I’ll go for an hour.” Brick closed his book and got up off the sofa.

“Cool. Cool cool cool…” It took every ounce of self control Boomer had in him not to smile at his brother’s expense.

Brick when to change his shirt, and Boomer pulled out his phone and texted Bubbles.

[Boomer: I think you’re right. He’s finally seen the light.]

[Bubbles: I told you! Did you see the way he was staring at her??? Shook.]

Boomer laughed.

“What’s so funny?” Brick asked as he reemerged in a button down shirt. Had he brushed his hair? Christ, he’d actually brushed his hair.

Shooketh.

Boomer grinned. “Nothing, man. Just looking forward to a fun night.”

“Whatever.”

They headed out, and Boomer trailed his brother’s red streak.

Something told him it would be a very fun night.

[thewritingstar]

Prompt list 5 number 19 “gosh YoURE so cute” for Greens!! Doesnt matter to me if Butch is calling BC cute or if BC is calling Butch cute. Go ham girl! Thank you!

I rewrote this thing like five times and im shit at kissing scenes but heres some greens fluff and teasing! Enjoy :) 

Requests and asks always open! 

---

Another explosion echoed through the city as the group of monsters spit out mixtures of acid and fire. It was like a giant game of cat and mouse and right now the puffs and ruffs were the smallest mice you’ve ever seen. 

It had been a while since Buttercup felt this small but it also filled her with a sense of adrenaline she secretly craved. 

These monsters had heighten senses and they figured out that direct contact was not going to work so they had to use surprise attacks, Buttercups least favorite thing to do. She wanted to just fly at top speed through their stomachs and get on with it but due to her sisters orders, she was now pressing her back to a wall to keep out of sight. 

She was infidelity more of a to go action gal. Usually she wouldn’t hesitate to fly directly into harms way but over the years, a hundreds of Blossoms scoldings, she had eased back and had even formed her own line of strategy. 

Silent was what she needed to be and as she was holding her breath, she almost let out a scream as a figure surprised her to her right. The figure emerged from the shadow with hands up to avoid the green death rays that were seconds away from blasting his ass outta town. 

A feeling of calm washed over her as he came closer and she was thankful he had found her. 

“Hey.” He talked at the normal speaking level but that wasn’t what was needed now. 

“Butch!” She scolded quietly as she covered his mouth with her hand as they heard a monster stomp by. This wasn’t the time. 

The heard the massive steps pass and she lowered her hand, thinking of a plan of attack to ensure the safety of the town once again. 

“Sorry babe, didn't mean to startle you.” He leaned against the wall with a smirk and she kept on her pout trying not the let him affect her. 

“S’fine, just shut up.” She peaked her head around the corner and saw that nothing was there. Now she could follow it and blast it from behind. “We have to run after it, we can’t use our powers, too loud.” She said to him behind but he had already started to cross the street and she huffed before running after him. 

There was about three of these things in the city and she knew that the reds and blues were in the same predicament, but she wanted to be the first one to finish just in case back up was needed. 

They slipped down an alley and pressed their backs against it. She heard the footstep coming closer and held her breath as it passed by again. Almost there. 

She turned to look at Butch who was already staring at her. And she knew that look. His eyes were soft and slightly hooded and he wore a small smile that only she got to see. They weren’t even dating, yet, but she knew that if she didn’t stop him now a make out session would be happening at the worst possible time. 

Okay maybe they were dating, or whatever. But she didn’t need her sisters to know right now, it just-wasn’t time. She was also just mad that he looked incredibly adorable right about now. Not the time!

“Stop.” She hissed and he only quirked an eyebrow up. 

“Stop what?” Fucking tease. 

She blew on her bangs and narrowed her eye to glare but he was unfazed. “Staring at me.” 

“Why.”

She wanted to punch him. Now was not the time. 

“You know why!” She whispered yelled and he took a step forward before holding his hand above her head and leaning down so that their noses almost touched. 

“I don’t think I do but I would love to hear your reason.” His breath grazed her lips and he was so close to her that she knew her face was heating up. 

“Now really isn’t the time.” Her voice shrank lower and lower and he leaned impossibly closer. 

“Time for what?” He replied with a deadly tone. 

She almost hated how much he could stir her up. The looks and the teasing. Even at age 20, he made her feel like some stupid school girl who just had the biggest crush on someone, and she did but that wasn’t the point. The point was, he shouldn’t be able to make her feel this way even with just a single glance, it was unfair even if she enjoyed it. 

He made her feel important, like his eyes were only set on her. 

She thought to herself and looked around. Its not like she wouldn’t save the day anyways and plus, the monster just got here and Blossom said to keep it quiet until they were ready to strike. She wasn’t ready and he smelled like a mixture of smoke and pine and a little bit of sweat, which was gross but in the moment, it was her favorite. 

“Fuck you.” She spat before grabbing his collar and pressing her lips to his. She felt his lips turn to a smirk as he pressed back hard. 

She loved feeling his lips on her. Soft and rough at the same time. Usually it was a fight for dominance but in this case it was suppose to be quick and simple, her least favorite. She preferred the long adoring kisses that left them both breathless and wanting more. The silent kisses that held so much emotion that words couldn’t explain. Contrary to their personal attitudes, they liked to take their time with one another, savoring the moments. 

But wild kissing in the middle of a battle with a crazy monster and an adrenaline rush would have to do, plus its not like she didn’t enjoy the company. 

He used his free hand to slip behind her back and tug her closer and she took the opportunity to throw her hands around his neck. She bit his lips gently and the sound he made was like a symphony that she wanted to play on repeat. 

They pulled away for air, small gasps leaving their mouths as his forehead rested against hers. 

“Gosh you’re so fucking cute.” He said as he kissed her again, this time harder but quicker and popped right off of her. “And although I love you feeling me up babe, we got a monsters ass to kick so imma have to ask you to keep the hands off the merchandise until check out.” He winked and she was left with wide eyes as he looked around the corner. 

“Hey you’re the one!” She began to shout but he silenced her with a quick kiss that made her head fuzzy and heartbeat quicken.Typical school girl.  

“Careful love, you don’t want the monster to hear.” He laughed as her cheeks puffed and her face turned a deep shade of red. “Ohh shes mad.” Another laugh. 

“I fucking show you cute.” She pushed past him and stomped along before locating the monster. “Fucking cute my ass.” He heard her say to herself and he was thoroughly amused. 

In a flash she was gone and he followed as the finally caught up to the monster and took it down from behind. Even with her pout, she blasted through the creature, spilling its guts all over the windows and cars before landing on the other side and getting out of the way before it crushed her. 

She walked up to him who had received the splash zone of the guts and was coated in a disgusting green fluid. She wiped her face with her forearm before stalking up to him. “That fucking cute enough?” She said with with a hand on her hip. 

She stood with the same nasty green fluid dripping off from her and dirt smearing her face. Butch looked her up and down before taking her and pulling her to his chest like he did in the alley way. 

He scooped up a chunk of what was probably the monsters flesh and threw it to the ground letting it splash over their shoes. 

“Disgusting actually.” He spoke and she rolled her eyes as she pressed her palms flat against his chest and lightly pushed away, turning on her heel. 

She didn’t get far as she was pulled by the wrist and next thing she knew, he was dipping her like she was a dancer, surrounded by guts, goo and a fowl smell from the decaying monster. 

Her face was redder than Him himself and she never knew he could be this, dare she say suave? One of her legs was hiked off the ground as her arms clung to his neck and my gosh was she suddenly feeling flustered than ever before.

 She thanked her lucky stars that none of her sisters or the other ruffs were around to see this. She also made a mental note to kick his ass later for doing this stupid shit in public, no matter how charming it was. 

“But like I said before doll.” He brought her face close to his. “You’ve so fucking cute.”

“Cute.” She pouted and he rolled his eyes in a joking way. 

“My apologizes.” She smirked. “You are fucking gorgeous, bad ass, sexy-” Now it was his turn t be silenced as she pulled him in for a passionate kiss that left him weak in the knees. Ha take that. 

Their kiss was fast and eager and really gross as she was sure that his mouth had that sick goop on it but she couldn’t care. Right now all she could focus on was the man holding her close who made her feel gorgeous, bad ass sexy and some how, cute. 

Maybe she didn’t mind being called cute, as long as it was from him. 

---

Greens, greens, greens. gotta love them. Hope you enjoyed! 

[bronanlynch]

hamlet, much ado, CORIOLANUS, henry the fifth (guess which one I had to c&p)

tbh I assumed u were just really really excited abt coriolanus which like. valid and mood

HAMLET: Do you have any specific/creative ideas on staging a production of Hamlet?

oh boy do I........ ok first of all I would def borrow some of the set/lighting stuff from the production that I saw a few months ago (the one with ruth negga as hamlet) bc there was a lot of really really cool stuff w doors and silhouettes that I thought was super effective. also extremely a fan of having hamlet played by a woman or a transmasc actor bc like. ok. I don’t think trans!hamlet was necessarily what that production was going for but that’s how it came across to me, a transmasc person like. I’ve seen hamlet played by women in a way that felt like hamlet’s a woman in that version, regardless of how much or little they change the script/pronouns. the ruth negga version was like. oh. hamlet is trans and also even if that wasn’t what they were going for it’s still the only portrayal of a transmasc character that’s ever resonated with me personally. not to get into gender stuff but I very rarely feel like I recognize myself in fictional depictions of trans people but something abt this specific hamlet just. really vibed w me y’know? something about the mannerisms and the costuming and the way his depression isn’t specifically abt his gender stuff but that sure doesn’t help (all the layers of being referred to/referring to himself as unmanly, talking abt hating femininity contrasted w how much this version of hamlet clearly cared abt ophelia+gertrude, another reason for everyone to disapprove of his relationship, etc)

anyway tl;dr my ideal production would make hamlet trans, also I’ve been kinda vaguely considering what the costuming might look like if u set it further back in history like. more like the time that the sources shakespeare was working on were from bc then I could use the stuff I learned for my dissertation abt early medieval clothing for something

also I hate how every single production I’ve ever seen has done ophelia’s ~madness so I wanna do a version where she’s playing the same game hamlet is of like. pretending to ~go mad~ so that ppl won’t see her as a threat except it doesn’t work bc there’s a moment when she’s like. giving out the flowers and too much of her anger comes through at claudius. when she leaves the stage for the last time claudius gestures for one of his guards to follow her out with the implication that he’s having her killed (later, when gertrude comes back to say that she’s dead, so does that guard and claudius nods like. yeah good job u did the thing). also laertes tries to follow ophelia when she leaves but claudius stops him, I don’t understand why you wouldn’t play it like that he can’t just let her go like that

also also if hamlet doesn’t die in horatio’s arms what’s even the point, from a narrative perspective as well as a homoeroticism perspective. also in general horatio needs to be present throughout and like. important? bc too many production neglect horatio but like. he’s the one who makes ppl care abt hamlet anyway I’m gonna stop now before I go into an entire essay

wait no that reminds me of the actual academic essay I did write abt generational conflict in hamlet and why u gotta cast the parent generation as like. obviously older than hamlet’s generation in order to get that across. also bc lots of productions cast hamlet & gertrude closer in age than hamlet & ophelia which. hmmmm. don’t love that

MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING: Go off about the best female character.

beatrice muchado is a strong contender but also everyone already loves her so I have less to say that hasn’t already been said, I would be tempted to say viola twelfthnight if I weren’t so firmly on team viola/cesario is trans, I love ophelia a lot but I hate the ~madness scenes, most of my favorite women in shakespeare productions I’ve seen have been women playing male roles like please I would love to talk abt the all-female julius caesar where brutus was a butch lesbian, or like. gwendoline christie as titania in midsummer except titania and oberon’s roles were swapped (which I have mixed feelings about bc the oberon/nick bottom stuff is played as a joke which like. to be fair that’s how titania/bottom is usually done and I know the joke isn’t actually just ‘haha they’re gay’ it’s abt the weird magic shit and the fact that puck and titania are messing with them but. y’know. the experience of being in an audience laughing at two dudes kissing did not make me personally feel great. however I fucking loved pretty much everything else about the production so it balances out to still being the best midsummer I’ve ever seen and also one of the best plays I’ve ever seen full stop)

also best is such a vague and subjective thing like. Idk I love a lot of them for different reasons, y’know? I do think beatrice and maybe juliet are the ones I would say are the best written, gertrude is a close third bc it really depends on how she’s played in any given production but one of my favorite parts of hamlet is in the last scene when she drinks the poison if it’s framed as her knowing exactly what’s going on and daring claudius to stop her and admit his own guilt

CORIOLANUS: Which gay pairing has the most evidence? (Conversely, which pairing do you wish had evidence?)

cesario/viola+orsino is canon send tweet. but really like. usually the cross-dressing heroine changes back into women’s clothing at the end to restore heteronormativity or whatever and I know that viola does say “hey I’m gonna go change” but never actually does and orsino still calls them cesario after that in one of his very last lines so like. I’m just sayin

 brutus and cassius’s deaths are basically the same as romeo and juliet’s, and are therefore also a pyramus and thisbe retelling, in this essay I will

HENRY V: What is the best monologue/soliloquy? in general I’m not that into king lear but edmund’s “now gods, stand up for bastards” monologue is extremely good and sexy, somewhere there’s a recording of riz ahmed doing it that’s just. chef’s kiss

as a hamlet stan my favorite hamlet soliloquy is his first one, the one that starts with “oh that this too too sullied flesh would melt,” and ends with “but break my heart for I must hold my tongue” which not to be a basic bitch but that’s one of my favorite lines in anything ever

also antony’s funeral speech for caesar gets me (almost) every goddamn time. the one singular exception to this was the shakespeare in the park production a few years ago where they were trying to do shallow modern political commentary that really didn’t work and actively undermined the themes of the play

[gettin-bi-bi-bi]

1- So I know gender + sexuality is a very complicated thing but I was wondering if you could clear up some things. This is mainly about appearance(aesthetic attraction) and gender identity. So I know that there are a lot of cis masc wlw. And I’m just wondering if a lot of wlw aesthetic attraction differs from their other attraction. Cause a masc wlw might pass as male, yet other wlw are attracted to them. And people will say “that’s bc they still have female parts” but not all wlw

2 have female parts(if they were trans). And I understand that people can have a preference(like only liking vaginas) but not all trans wlw have penises so you can’t say that you’re not attracted to trans bc you can’t tell. I think I’m confused bc I’ve seen masc wlw get hit on by gay men for their male appearance, yet wlw are also attracted to them despite almost passing as a male. But those that argue they still have female parts have a preference then and wouldn’t date a trans wlw w/ a penis?

3 sorry if this is all over the place. I mean no offense, I’m just genuinely confused a bit. I know that labels aren’t strict boxes but I don’t really understand how this works. This is also assuming stereotypical gender appearance but I’m aware that not all people look stereotypically like their gender(ie: femme wlw and masc mlm). But if genitalia doesn’t matter and neither does gender appearance(trans wlw w/ penis or masc wlw or both), then the its just their label that means someone is wlw?

I gotta admit this made me laugh a little because it reads like sublime Bisexual Confusion along the lines of “why do people even care about their partner’s gender when gender is something so arbitrary and can’t even be accurately perceived through looks, aesthetics and anatomy???”

anyway…. I’ll try to make sense of this and hopefully you’ll be satisfied with it.

First of all, you are right with pretty much everything you said. You should, however, try not to treat transphobic/TERF arguments like they’re ~logical~ at all. Anyone who argues that “these body parts are what make a person a man/woman” is coming from a transphobic and cisnormative standpoint. They are wrong, so you shouldn’t place any value on what these people have to say about gender. Genitals say nothing about someone’s gender and using “gential preference” as a reason for transphobia is not only illogical but also just shitty.

You’re also right that there are masc women who might get mistaken for a guy. There’s also femme men who get mistaken to be woman. I don’t remember which comedian it was but there was this bit where he talks about making out with a cute gay guy and then realising he was actually making out with a butch lesbian who thought he was a butch lesbian, too. [If anyone knows what I’m talking about, please let me know so I can put a link to it.]

No matter how masc (or femme or adrogynous) someone ~looks~ that alone doesn’t make them the gender that they are. Gender is something internal that has more to do with how you feel within yourself and less how you dress/present yourself. Interestingly enough I’ve heard of stories where lesbians were falling for a “man” only for “him” to eventually come out as a trans woman. Gender really is so much more complicated and weird and unpredictable in a way than language can convey.

Now, if you want to know what “wlw” or other labels really ~mean~ in the context of “what the fuck even is gender?” well... you’re right that it’s confusing. That’s why sexuality labels rarely have clear cut lines between them. That’s why labels often don’t fit perfectly and you shouldn’t expect them to. Because language is limited. Essentially “wlw” translates to “woman who loves women” but every wlw is an individual so there is not ~one~ way to be a wlw and only ~one~ type of women you can be attracted to when you’re a wlw. Some wlw like masc presenting women, others don’t. It’s a matter of taste. Not to mention that some wlw are also bi or pan and are attracted to more genders than just women. That’s what I meant with the Bisexual Confusion above. I often find myself remembering that there’s actually monosexual people on this earth and it’s a total mindfuck because... how dare my perception of the world not be a universal one? /s

I.... I honestly struggle to give you a more meaningful reply. You essentially question the relevance of gender as a construct as a whole and that’s valid and not incorrect. But the consequence is obviously to also question the relevance of sexuality labels, which you do. You can try to dismantle all of that and argue that none of it even matters and it’s all just arbitrary and made up and labels are useless. But then again we also live in a world where gender does matter. It does shape our lives. It’s like money is made up and paper bills have no material worth, yet it still dictates our lives. Capitalism is still there; and knowing that gender cannot accurately be perceived by looking at someone doesn’t save you from living in a gendered society.

Sorry... I’m talking myself into a corner here and don’t know how to get out of it. I hope this helps you ~at all~. If not, maybe Max has time to add something or you can send in a new message and rephrase your question. Right now, I don’t know what else to say.

Maddie

[shaydixons]

wlw survey results

thank you so much to everyone who participated in mine and @aliciqvikander ’s survey! we ended up getting 221 responses. below is a breakdown of each question.

disclaimer: there were a couple of responses that we considered to be disrespectful or homophobic that we decided to delete from the survey pool. the idea of this survey was to gauge the feelings & opinions of wlw skam fans regarding lgbt representation in the show; it was made with wlw fans in mind, and there were some skam fans who decided to take the survey and give disrespectful/homophobic answers, which was not the point of the survey.

part 1: demographics

what is your sexuality?

the most common were lesbians (83 people)  and bisexuals (74 people), followed by 22 pan people and 17 questioning, only 4 straight people (whose answers we didn’t delete bc they weren’t disrespectful). there were also several people who identified as gay (4), queer (2), sapphic (2), asexual (5), or other sexualities (lesbian ace, demisexual pansexual, biromantic with a preference towards women, panromantic ace, biromantic asexual)

what is your gender?

the most common answers were female/woman/girl/cis girl, with many nb people (19), as well as several questioning people (5), and just 2 men.

what is your age?

the most common answer was 17-19 (90), with many 20-24 year olds (62) and 14-16 year olds (51), as well as 9 25-30 year olds and 7 people over 30, and just 2 under 14.

where are you from?

there were people from all over who took the survey, but the most common answers were the US, Sweden, France, UK, Brazil, Finland, and Norway.

when did you start watching Skam?

the most common answer by far was season 3 (155), followed by season 4 (32), then season 1 (23), then season 2 (10).

part 2: opinions

what is your favorite season?

the most common answer was season 3 (141), then season 1 (65), then season 4 (10) and just 2 people favored season 2.

what fandoms are you a part of?

the most common answer to this was obviously tumblr (212) seeing as we posted the survey on tumblr. Other popular answers were twitter (34) and instagram (42), other than that we have some sprinkled answers such as discord, jodel and facebook. Plus some people who said they were not really active in any fandom.

who are your top 3 characters?

the most favored characters in order are Sana (158), Isak (117), Eva (104), Even (94), Noora (59), Vilde (53), Jonas (33), Chris (16), Elias (14), Yousef (8), a tie between Magnus and Mahdi (5), Eskild (3), 2 people wanted to specify that they liked season 1 Noora, and one vote for Dr. Skrulle! (specifically: that fierce school nurse lady whose name i don't remember but she's really cool”) Nobody picked Wilhelm.

who is your favorite canon ship?

the most picked ship was evak (166), after that we have yousana (44) and then joneva (6). four people also replied that they dont really care for any ship and there was one vote for noorhelm (although it’s worth noting that the one vote came from one of the only two men who took the survey). not one person chose vagnus.

[edit: the person who chose noorhelm messaged me to tell me that they clicked noorhelm by mistake and meant to choose yousana!]

who are your favorite non-canon ships?

The most common answers were Nooreva (170), Evilde (156), Evana (58) and Sanoora (39). Other popular ones were Noorvilde (31), Johdi (26), Noorevilde (24), Joora (15), Chrisana and Chrilde both had 10, Mohnstad had 8, Sana x Vilde had 7, Jonas x PChris and Mikael x Jonas both had 4, and there were other assorted ships including Vilde x Some hipster girl that could have been introduced in her season (3), Vilde x The soft butch lesbian she would have dated in her season (1), Isak x PChris (2), Elias/Eskild (2), Eva/Iben (1), Noora/Mari (1), Adam x Mutta (1), Vilde x Ingrid (1)

What is Vilde’s sexuality?

this was one of the most unified questions with a total of 204 out of 221 saying shes a lesbian! the other answers were bi (13) and pan (4)

What is Noora’s sexuality?

the most common answer was lesbian (110), followed by bisexual (61), then straight (29), then pan (18). i think it’s worth noting that we saw a pattern that bisexual was often put by bisexuals and pansexual was also put by a lot of pansexuals, so maybe people just see themselves in Noora.

What’s Eva’s sexuality?

This question was, as Vilde’s, very unified with 209 out of 220 answering bisexual then there were 6 people who answered pan, 4 people who answered straight, and 1 who answered lesbian.

What is Sana’s sexuality?

this one was pretty split! the most common answer was bi (104), followed by straight (81), then pan (28), then lesbian (2).

What is Chris’s sexuality?

this one was also pretty split! the most common answer is pan (117), followed by straight (65), then bi (22), then lesbian (11)

Opinion on queerbaiting & Vilde?

the overwhelmingly popular opinion is that queerbaiting did happen. 109 people said there was explicit queerbaiting, 81 people said they originally meant to make Vilde a lesbian then decided not to, only 3 people said there was no queerbaiting, and there were also an array of answers, most of which say queerbaiting did happen. (“I'm super torn bc I feel Vilde is a lesbian but she doesn't realize it yet. Like I believe she would figure it out in college (and I think her dating Magnus is important in her self discovery) and ugh I wish we could get an epilogue of some sort with her a canon lesbian. Unfortunately if that doesn't happen, I feel like it is queerbaiting.”) (“julie treats lesbians like were a fucking joke”) (“i will be on my deathbed telling everyone that vilde lien hellerud was a lesbian and showing them my powerpoint on all the signs throughout the seasons but honestly idk if they really meant for her to be gay or not. she is in my heart tho.”)

opinion on noorhelm?

the most popular answer by far was “wilhelm is an abuser who can rot in hell and Noora deserved better” (161). 27 people say they were a bad couple, 13 people say they were okay but not as bad as people say, ZERO people said they were cute, there were also an array of write-in answers, mostly negative. (“Some parts of their relationships were good, the rest - pure trash on wilhelm's part”)  (“classic romance novel damage, gaslighting & emotional manipulation”)  (“I swear to christ, WillHELL does not deserve Noora - only Eva does, duh - and their whole relationship didn't make any sense from a character point of view! Also I hate that they had to take this beautiful, strong woman's season and make it about a guy! An emotional ABUSER at that!! Like whyyyyy???????????”) (“DICKHELM NEEDS TO JUST GET OUT. PRISON. SOMEWHERE SECLUDED. NO ONE DESERVES TO LAY THEIR EYES ON HIM. i hate him with a passion i swear to fucking god I HAD TO MOTIVATE MYSELF TO WATCH S2 and i was in complete pain whenever dickhelm was on screen i hate him and NOORA IS A LIPSTICK LESBIAN DONT TELL ME OTHERWISE SHE DESERVES BETTER”)

opinion on nooreva?

this one was pretty evenly split! the most popular answer is that they were set up as a couple (85), followed by they would be a cute couple but they were platonic in canon (80), followed by they were in love in canon (54), and only 2 people said they were just friends.

what do you think of the skam fandom?

most people think it’s fine as far as fandoms go (126), then it was a tie between a great fandom and mostly demonic, each with 47.

for wlw: could you relate to vilde’s behavior?

i’ll be honest with you guys, we probably should have made this a write-in question rather than multiple choice because the results were not very conclusive. 75 lesbians could see themselves in her, 64 bisexuals could see themselves in her, 13 pansexuals could see themselves in her, and 30 people said no.

part 3: long-answer questions

why do you think julie didn’t want to include wlw in the show?

the consensus was that either she’s lesbophobic, the show is written with straight people in mind, or she wanted to but ended up not finding the time to write it in. every answer was wonderful and i wish we could include them all, but here are a couple ones that i like:

bc she's a classic lesbophobic piece of shit and believes wlw can't exist except for punchlines and ridicule

probably because she thought it wouldn't sell as well as an mlm couple. i mean you gotta please those straight girls

She Is Bad at Writing and forgets wtf she is doing and hates logically developing characters

"we did one storyline about exploring sexuality so that's all we need! anything else would be overkill :)))" and also trying to appeal/relate to straight teenage girls. also noora should have been a lesbian but julie used her as a self insert character. also just generally media doesn't take wlw seriously our perceive our relationships/feelings as legitimate

cause she's a typical straight girl who thinks wlw are icky/she's actually a closeted lesbian who hasn't realised yet

are you disappointed with the lgbt representation in skam? please elaborate.

the consensus is that isak, even, and eskild are all wonderful and they’re great for what they are, which is 2 white gays and 1 white pan boy. it would have been great to have some diversity, especially by adding a wlw, specifically vilde or eva. here are a few i like:

For a show that was originally made for teenage girls and to accurately represent them its unbelievable they didnt include a single wlw character. Evak was nice but in s4 turned into complete fanservice and they lost a lot of the development they made in s3. WHERE ARE THE LESBIANS JULIE

definitely like dude evak was cute and all, and powerful and moving, and I was infinitely glad that was represented onscreen. but on the other hand—that wasn't me? and for a show that claimed to be so progressive, it seemed to mock the concept of bi girls and lesbians at every single turn. fuck, when i think about how noora's response to vilde's er du lesbisk question I still get so pissed

lol yeah julie andem treats lesbian existence as a literal joke and yet she still gets all this praise for the great lgbt rep on her show because of isak and even (and s3 was good but in s4 they didn't even feel like they're own characters anymore just a couple with all these weird nods to evak fans)

Yes, in a show meant for teenage girls the only LGBT representation was with a gay boy and a pan boy, and that's because straight girls love to fetishize and obsess over gay boys for some reason. The fact that Julie only wrote about LGBT boys indicates to me that she is writing the show not for all teenage girls, but for the straight teenage girls that she used to be.

yessss. how can we have three mlm but no wlw??? its like whooo we have a canon pan guy, but if i remember correctly he never actually says the word? and eskild is obviously written as gay, but im pretty sure we see eva and vilde kiss more times than we see eskild kiss a guy, and still they're both supposed to be straight?? and like eva, noora and vilde all have so many characteristics of lesbians/bi girls, yet NONE of them turned out to be wlw in canon?? thats so fucking unrealistic!! in my whole friend circle of about 15 girls, there's maybe three who identify as 100% straight, and multiple who have come out as bi or pan, so how come skam has none?

what did you think of season 4?

the general consensus is that it was rushed and messy, that wilhelm ruined it, and that sana was sidelined in her own season. there were a few people who said they liked it, and some pros that were written were that iman was wonderful, the balloon squad was great, the los losers scene, and that they liked yousana. here are a few great ones:

horribly written, with subtle racism and islamophobia to boot. sana deserved so much better. also, bringing back william and p-chris was so unnecessary. they were making progress with noora realizing that william never loved her and was an abuser, and then it's like they backtracked on all of that just for...what purpose? completely unnecessary. noora, vilde, and eva don't need any men in their lives, and any tying of loose ends of their stories in season 4 should have been about that.

pandering to women who fetishize evak/queer male relationships!!! also some major other bullshit!!! (why is william back wtf, why is p chris still around, why tf are evak living together theyre children, vilde needed season 6 to #come #out though so im not too mad)

I think it suffered from weak writing more than anything else. The story totally stalled out at the hiatus and Julie seemed to be unable to get it going again and then found herself without enough time to tell the whole story. She is saved as usual by the strength of her characters-- I think she's great at character building but very over-rated as a storyteller.

(this one is really long but i thought it was eloquent and great)

HAHAHAHA where to start. It’s almost my least favorite season, nearly tied with S2, though my burning hatred of William edges out. But I will say that from a writing perspective, as much as I despise Noorhelm, their relationship kept S2 anchored and prevented the season from losing focus too often. I do think S2 was messier and more bloated than S1 and S3, but it still feels like a more cohesive narrative than S4, which was so sloppy that I can’t believe the same person wrote something as tight as S3. The criticisms seem almost endless and I’ll probably forget something but here are a few off the top of my head: -TERRIBLE SEASON FOR GIRL SQUAD. This is what really surprised me about S4. It was the last chance to enjoy them as a friendship unit and most of the season they were unbearable. I’m not saying they had to have a perfect friendship, I was expecting some conflict and I was fine with that but it was almost all unpleasant moments with no good moments to balance them out. Sana having to apologize for everything but the rest of the girls never apologizing for their ignorance or hurtfulness. Eva and Chris doing nothing but partying most of the time. Vilde being an annoying caricature. Noora … I’ll get to Noora. The los losers clip is a good moment in itself but doesn’t make sense in the larger context, there are several plot holes, and we never ever hear the girls talk about their issues afterwards. -Noora was overused at the expense of the other girls, including Sana, and I couldn’t even enjoy her and Sana’s relationship because I felt like it wasn’t there to explore their friendship, but to give an excuse for Noorhelm to rise again and to get Noora involved in the stupid Sana/Yousef/Noora triangle. I loved Noora but it felt like all the other girls were unfavorably compared to her, like of course Noora got to be Sana’s ally and Vilde/Chris/Eva were just off being drunk and terrible somewhere. It got ridiculous in episode 9 when we started getting texts about Noora’s living situation, of course it’s Noora who Sana’s mom thinks is beautiful with her red lipstick, of course it was Noora who gets to give Sana detailed advice in Maghrib and the other girls have less to contribute. There were a few moments with Chris, maybe. But we got better material from Vilde, Chris, and Eva in the last episode than we’d gotten all season. -Sana taking a backseat to Noorhelm drama at the climax of her own season, enough said. -Even’s plotline being dropped … after what was widely considered a respectful portrayal of mental illness in S3, Julie hugely messed up with Even in S4. Yeah, it was Sana’s season, but maybe don’t introduce a character’s suicide attempt if you’re not going to address it properly? The utter shittiness of having a mentally ill character who says he’s tired of people trying to tell him how he feels, and never letting him give his own side of the story, only hearing it from other people. -A fight that makes no sense, a love triangle that makes no sense, characters not talking to each other just to prolong the drama, characters acting OOC, characters acting like the worst versions of themselves.   -Bad pacing, subplots being juggled and dropped and picked up and abandoned at whim, so much filler and wasted time. I've seen people say Sana was out of focus because Julie had to wrap up loose ends but like, she didn't? She spent time on bullshit no one cared about and ignored actual dangling plot threads. Why are we spending so much time on racist Pepsi Max girls and what's up with Noora and Yousef or Noora and William when we could be addressing Vilde's mysterious home life, giving Chris depth other than funny fat girl, getting into this Even sad backstory that Julie chose to introduce in Sana's season, exploring why Elias got so drunk he could barely stand... the list goes on? Not to mention, you know, focusing on SANA. I’m going to stop now because I’ll be here all day, lol. The thing is, as messed-up as this season is, I’d still rather have this than nothing, sadly, because Iman is wonderful and I enjoyed seeing her show off her acting chops. I wish she could have had a better season but I’m happy such an awesome human being got to be so visible; even if the season was disappointing, Iman being in the public eye meant a lot to Muslim girls around the world. And I’ll always be thankful to Julie for Evak, because their relationship was one aspect of canon that was consistently well-handled. Their story resonated with me and meant a lot to me. I just wish everything else in the show was treated with as much care as the Evak romance, and that S4 was as carefully and thoughtfully written as S3.

CONCLUSION: wlw skam fans were disappointed in the lack of representation, as well as the last season of the show. evak was great, but it would have meant the world to many of us to make one of the female characters not straight, especially after all of the queerbaiting. the VAST majority of people think that vilde was a lesbian, which is very telling. also wlw love sana and hate wilhelm.

bonus: some of my favorite nicknames for william: willdevil, willdick, woldemort, willhellfuck, willfickle, willhellanusfuckingdickface, also @cosa-fea who called him a “sinewy man toe”

thank you all SO MUCH for taking the survey and for giving such wonderful answers. i’m glad we can all agree on some things, like william being terrible and vilde being a lesbian.

[spikycharlotte]

:0 all of them

y’all better strap in

four jews in a room bitching / what’s your favorite stereotype for your religion?

haha i don’t really identify with one in particular? so i’m not sure.

a tight-knit family / who do you consider family?

i for sure believe “blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.” while i do have family members whom i do love and am proud to call family, i don’t think the question is calling for that.

my best friends are like family to me, and i’d do anything for them. i also have a mentor/teacher, and he and his wife are like second parents to me.

love is blind / what makes a healthy relationship?

C O M M U N I C A T I O N ! ! ! you should NEVER be lying to your s/o!! and if your s/o does something you’re not comfortable with/makes you upset, TELL THEM! you shouldn’t be stewing, but also don’t enter the conversation angry and accusatory. and on the flip side, if your s/o comes to you with something you did, LISTEN TO THEM. apologize and explain yourself, even if it was just a misunderstanding! avoid becoming defensive. 

the thrill of first love / what’s something you’d kill for?

answered here!

marvin at the psychiatrist / do you ever feel like no one is listening to you when you talk?

i used to feel this way all the time, but i’ve recently become comfortable with saying, “excuse me, i was speaking” when i’m spoken over. also i find myself in lots of leadership positions in my day-to-day, so i’m pretty good at making myself heard.

my father’s a homo / could you/would you want to be president?

the idea (a loud, genderqueer, butch lesbian with the conscience to do the best for others) sounds great, but i’m not the person that fits that description to be president. i’m infj, so i’ve got the teacher personality, and that’s what i want to do!

everyone tells jason to see a psychiatrist / do people nag you consistently about something? if so, what?

this is such a #relatableteen answer but my room is a goddamn mess and my mom nags me on the daily to clean it (something i never do)

this had better come to a stop / what’s something people do that infuriates you?

i talked about this a little bit, but when people come to me with relationship issues and the issue could resolved so easily if instead of coming to me and telling me, they just went to their s/o. a problem cannot be resolved through outside sources.

i’m breaking down / what makes you crazy/pushes you over the edge?

answered here!

please come to our house / what was the last thing you did to help someone?

ummm to fit with the “therapy” theme of this the other night i helped a friend when she needed to vent about some crappy home things. 

jason’s therapy / what’s the worst advice you’ve ever been given?

i resent this question being with this song!!! i think mendel’s “feel alright” advice (while flawed) at its core is actually kind of pure and good! of course the way he gives it is bad (ignore your problems!)

but worst advice i’ve ever been given was i asked a friend towards the beginning of my last relationship if i should continue it and she said i should, and it ended much later and i was very unhappy throughout most of it. so that was pretty shitty. (i now have a very wonderful girlfriend who is currently having me answer all of these questions :-))

a marriage proposal / how would you want to be proposed to?

actually something very similar to how mendel does it! something private and lowkey, and just having someone word vomit their love for me sounds very cute and endearing.

however i always thought of myself as the one who would propose, so there’s that

a tight-knit family (reprise) / are you satisfied with what you have in life, or do you want more?

well as a student in high school it’s kind of hard to be satisfied, because there’s so much i want to do but i can’t as my student-ness prevents me from doing so.

but considering my place in life, i think i am quite happy!! i have a great gf, great friends, and i’m kind of excited for this school year!

trina’s song / what’s the worst interaction you’ve had with the opposite gender?

every interaction i’ve ever had with a male human being ever in my life. i could go on and on. but one that comes to mind is how one time a dude went on this huge rant during a teacher’s lecture about freud’s psychosexual theories about how homosexuality is an unnatural choice, all while continuing to glance at me to make sure he got his desired reaction

march of the falsettos / who’s the most immature person you know, and why?

um i know plenty, but the worst are some of my younger very intelligent female friends who are more focused on their boyfriends than their academics, which while i love and support them infuriate me to no end.

trina’s song (reprise) / have you ever settled for something better than you’d expected, but not as good as you’d hoped?

while this worked out for trina, as she soon would realize that mendel would be as good as she hoped, settling for less than you hope is never a good thing. 

i’ve always thought this, so i can’t really think of any examples

the chess game / what’s the most petty thing you’ve ever done?

perfect question for this song, op. 

i’ve done a lot of petty things in my life, bc i think everyone does. very recently though a girl was annoying the hell out of me trying to get me to tell her the answers for our summer hw and i gave her the entirely wrong answers.

making a home / how different are you in public than in private?

my personality is very much the same, but i’m obviously more in public. i don’t swear as much. and in private i talk to myself and sing loudly all the time which doesn’t make much sense to do in public

the games i play / do you ever wish you were doing more than you currently are?

constantly. i’m in high school so my options are grossly limited. i’m super excited to go to college and begin my teaching career. i just really want to help people!!

marvin hits trina / have you ever hated someone for being happy?

before i was in a better place like i am now, i really resented my best friend for getting a boyfriend for a while. but now i’m fine and very happy for the both of them.

i never wanted to love you / have you ever liked something you knew was bad? have you stopped?

um in middle school i liked sup/erwhol/ock despite the problematicness of them all (the other two more so than d/octor w/ho), if that’s what this means.

father to son / what is your relationship with your parents?

i love my mom a lot, she’s great. she had me in high school, and my bio dad split when he found out i existed, so i’ve never met him, but i also have no interest in doing so. i love my (step) dad a lot, but our relationship is kind of strained bc i don’t think he fully understands my being gay (even though he’s not rude or anything about it)

falsettoland/about time / do you use labels?

i actually quite like labels ? i like legitimizing my identity by finding out that other people feel the same way, and therefore have worked to put a name to it.

that’s also why i kind of like the femme/butch scale even though it was initially a joke, bc it acknowledges that not every lesbian is lipstick OR stone butch, and idk i kinda like it. but i do hate when nonlesbians ,,,,,, use it ,,,,,,, to describe lesbians,,,,, bc,,, it’s not for them…..

year of the child / when was the last time everything was about you?

idk prob my birthday parties… i don’t like being the perfect center of attention, i feel uncomfortable

miracle of judaism / what’s the last significant decision you had to make?

oh geez idk. i don’t make a lot of those… i can’t think of one right now.

the baseball game / do you play/like sports? which ones?

i do not like them really… i like badminton tho… that’s more of an activity and not a sport though

a day in falsettoland / what’s your daily routine like? 

during the summer, i wake up and fart around on the internet, unless i have somewhere to be. all the while texting maggie all day

everyone hates his parents / what was the last thing your parents did that pissed you off?

my mom is a really bad backseat driver. like swearing and anger is her brand of backseat driving. so it makes me super anxious and angry hearing someone constantly bitch while i’m trying to drive

what more can i say? / are you in love? have you ever been in love? what is it like? 

answered here! 

something bad is happening / do you get frustrated when you don’t know something?

yes i do. its a problem, especially as i’m on academic team

more racquetball / are you a sore loser/winner?

yes yes yes. mariokart comes to mind in particular. if i lose it was lagging or too many items were unfairly sent my way, or if i win everyone else sucks and i’m the best

holding to the ground / how do you react when things don’t go as planned?

i’m not the best. i’m a huge control freak, so when things don’t work out perfectly i freak out

days like this / are you an optimist, a pessimist, or a realist?

i think i’m like an.. optimistic realist? like i’m a realist, but with that i’m more likely to say “the worst case scenario is this, so at least that’s not happening”

canceling the bar mitzvah / how do you react under pressure?

i get stressed, but i also get my work done, so good and bad

unlikely lovers / do you have any friends who are extremely different from you?

yeah, a lot actually! i have one friend who listens to hard core rock stuff and has a bunch of piercings and has never listened to a musical in her life and i also have friends super into gymnastics and cheerleading and stuff. i love my friends!!

another miracle of judaism / if you could have anything right now, what would it be?

maggie, next to me

something bad is happening (reprise) / have you ever had to deliver some really bad news? how did it go? 

i had to explain to someone the oak/great comet drama, which was not fun. but i don’t think i’ve ever had to break super terrible bad news, especially not like what charlotte had to tell her best friend

you gotta die sometime / are you afraid of dying/death?

i don’t know…? the idea of nothingness is for sure daunting

jason’s bar mitzvah / what was the last big event you attended?

the other day i went to the first practice of the year for academic team! theres a lot of us and we had pizza and played and whatnot

falsettoland (reprise) / what do you want your legacy to be?

i just want people to remember me as someone who did their best to help others

[puukkolesbo]

hey friend I came here from ao3, hmu with your hc about how gay viktoriya is (also is viktoriya a super extra lesbian? tell me about how she was pining for yuuri after the banquet pls and thank you)

hello friend!! yes, yes lets talk about how gay viktoriya is - i’m planning on writing her pov from the sochi GFP to approximately where words and intention ended next, (hopefully before this week ends!) so fleshing out these headcanons is good!

i’m putting this under the cut bc i have this tendency to get carried awayseriously, boy did this get long

first thing we have to establish: viktoriya nikiforova is gay. super gay. 

gayest of them all, probably.

(chris will fight anyone who says this, claiming that the title of gayest of them all is obviously his)

(it’s okay, they can share. it’s not like they are fighting in the same category anyways)

but yeah. viktoriya is super gay. i mean, she was a gender non conforming baby butch in the making when she was sixteen! yeah she grew her hair out (bc thinning hair & those annoying bald patches run in her fam, and she knew that if she wanted to have long and luxurious locks, she had to do it before thirty) but that absolutely did not make her any less butch. like. give me viktoriya nikiforova is suits and ties and button-ups and asdfghjkl she’s the poster girl of rich and preppy butches every time she steps out of the front door, okay

(at home she’s a messy butch™, with her hair sticking up everywhere & just. lounging around in sweatpants and mens’ t-shirts. that, as i mentioned on ao3 already, yuuri steals and stretches w her boobs bc “we all can’t have been blessed with a-cup, vitya!”)

also she will def stick to the short hair after she and yuuri cut their hair that night in st. petersburg! yuuri might grow hers to the bisexual haircut, but viktoriya sticks to the shorter styles. maybe a nice undercut at some point hmmmm?

.........returning to chris. he and viktoriya are best buds! (gay buds? guds? bays?) 

they probably ended up as each other’s accidental beards at some point: like when chris was around eighteen or nineteen and viktoriya was a little over twenty. neither of them was dating anyone chris met his mysterious bf/fiance/husband a few years after that & they were often seen together in public outside competitions and they tagged each other on pictures on insta etc. and ppl made heteronormative conclusions. they thought it was the most hilarious thing when they realised what ppl thought&probs played along for a while before like. some interviewer asked them directly about their relationship & viktoriya just deadpanned “we’re both gay, dude” and chris nodded seriously and said with the most solemn expression and tone possible, “super gay, dude”

chris and viktoriya definitely have the ‘who is gayer?’ fight on regular basis & they often try to out-gay each other. they also are each other’s go-to ppl when they have problems in their love lives.

this means that chris was the one who suffered the most after the banquet. bc, yes, of course viktoriya is also a super extra lesbian™

(and. lets face it. drunken katsuki yuuri not only break dancing and ballroom dancing, but also pole dancing and dry humping you?? u don’t even have to be a super extra lesbian to fall in love then and there. u just gotta have, like, common sense)

but yeah!! viktoriya was a pining mess after the banquet. 

she had been depressed and lost: all inspiration gone, competing in a sport where no one offered her real challenge anymore. she was pretty much competing against herself, getting her thrill from surprising the audience. except that no one was surprised by anything she did anymore - - so she had no idea what to do, how to get out of that place

until. katsuki yuuri happens

this adorable and totally hot girl gets drunk and shows viktoriya how to have fun again, and viktoriya is smitten

the girl also asks viktoriya to be her coach, but she’s shitfaced, so viktoriya doesn’t take her seriously. (but she does start thinking. thinking about her options, what else could she do besides skating. coaching surely is an option)

then the banquet ends and the girl disappears, and viktoriya is forced back to the unsatisfying reality of competing

she keeps hoping to see yuuri again - (keeps complaining about yuuri’s absence from the competitions to chris. and to yakov. and mila. and yuri. and georgi. pretty much anyone who has ears and comes close to her) - keeps wishing to have that carefree feeling from the banquet again, keeps holding on to this small, stupid hope that it wasn’t just the alcohol speaking when yuuri asked her to be her coach, that she’ll call her or text her and ask again - -

but yuuri goes completely off-radar after flopping the japanese nationals & viktoriya is left to choreographing routines for next season

and if she projects a little when creating the story, well, “best art comes from real experiences, yakov!”

until. katsuki yuuri happens again

the video of her skating to stay close to me of all things goes viral, and viktoriya is sure that yes, good, this girl has to be her extra™ gay soulmate, bc instead of calling or texting she’s doing this super romantic skating mating dance thing

and viktoriya drops everything after the most dramatic goodbyes ever (seriously that scene w viktor and yakov is Gold. that whispered ‘dasvidaniya’???? the most extra thing ever & i need it in all au’s) like the super extra lesbian she is

...and then she greets yuuri completely naked and winks at her for good measure (and finally wins that ‘gayest of them all’ title to herself bc how is chris going to out-gay that??)

AND now i rly have to stop before i start writing the fic here and now, on this answer. hopefully this ridiculous ramble was to your liking even tho i definitely lost the point few times there haha

[cerealmonster15]

if red vs blue characters went to Hogwarts witch houses do you think they`d be in?

i gotta say i’m fighting the urge to throw the entire bgc into hufflepuff bc lbrit’s the perfect house for ~misfits~ [im p sure in one of the hufflepuff descriptions they literally say theyll take you if you dont fit anywhere else]

a refresher of traits from the wiki-

Gryffindor: bravery, daring, nerve, and chivalry

Hufflepuff: hard work, dedication, patience, loyalty, and fair play

Ravenclaw: intelligence, knowledge, and wit

Slytherin: ambition, cunning and resourcefulness

the wiki also said gryffindors tended to be buds with hufflepuffs and ravenclaws were with slytehrins so u could totally put the reds in gryf/huff vs the blues in raven/slyth lmfao [both bc colors and personalities]

i’m only gonna stick with the bgc for now so lessee:

Red Team:

Sarge- Gryffindor, probably, with his  “brave/bold/daring” traits. mr macho action man lmfao. he probably could also fit in slytherin for his intense ambition for BEATING THE BLUES

Grif- tbh i feel like he’d be a good slytherin because of the lengths he goes to get out of work. he seems like he’s pretty cunningish and resourceful when he wants to be. i could also see him being a ravenclaw sheerly by like, finding “loophole” answers to the dorm door’s questionscould also be hufflepuff if the hat felt the others didn’t work for him/”plz put me in hufflepuff they live near the kitchen”

Simmons- ravenclaw or hufflepuff. he seems to be pretty booksmart and probably does riddles and puzzles for fun. he’d probably either be really good or really bad at the door riddles. hufflepuff works too bc he does seem to work pretty hard and is loyal(ish??) to his team (???) (simmons confuses me sometimes) (hes got that superiority complex so i shrug)

Donut- my biased hufflepuff heart really wants him in hufflepuff, and tbh i do think he’d fit really well in there, but i also think he’d make a really good gryffindor. hes pretty down to do whatever and really likes action and adventure. he took down freckles and threw grenades at tex robots, but also is a friendly dude  who loves his pals (”CANT YOU SEE YOURE TEARING THIS FAMILY APART-”) and just. my baby. gryffinpuff :’)

Lopez- please put lopez in slytherin lmfao, or maybe ravenclaw? super early on, back when lopez was like, ride or die for red team and loved them as his creators, he woulda fit more in gryffindor or hufflepuff, but now im feelin the other two a bit more. hes definitely a skilled dude and very full of snarky wit (tho in the last few seasons he stood by his team when they had to fight so shrug)slytherin probs first but ravenclaw or gryffindor would work for him too

Blue Team:

Church- I see alpha more as slytherin and epsilon(i said bgc but shhh) as a little more gryffindor. kinda hard to explain with him tbh but. i FEEL it.

Tucker- hes another one i cant pin too well lmfao. I feel like he could be a Gryffindor, esp with the chorus arc shaping him up to be a LEADER. love my son and his character development. Slytherin is mostly bc of his stupid schemes to get ladies to date him ;p but maybe also again, chorus attack plans and ideas and stuff were sometimes pretty crafty? i cant really decide if his recent behavior would be more gryffindor or slytherin (slytherin turned griffindor?) but like. i could also totally see hufflepuff tucker Just Because. hes like, sitting there trying to argue with the hat like “no fuckin way put me in something cooler” but the hat sees Great  Things for you young boy. into hufflepuff you goit grows on him

Caboose- hufflepuff first bc of his loyalty to his friends and his willingness to befriend anyone (does that count as patience)(like it must take the most patient person in the world to be bffs with church). he works hard to help his friends and i just think that’s perfect for him. he arguably might also fit in ravenclaw (he has good ideas sometimes and definitely thinks outside the box) (he and grif probably come up with the more creative door riddle answers) and possibly gryffindor (hes the TRUE WARRIOR and led his own team so?? idk lmfao)

Tex- Slytherin. I feel like the quote “No, scheming looks different. That’s definitely plotting,” says it all. I love her

Kaikaina/Sister- hufflepuff or gryffindor. she seems pretty go with the flow but also ready to stick to what she puts her mind to. she seems like she’d be a good leader and would be a kickass loyal friend

Captain Butch Flowers™- probably slytherin considering all those season 14 antics we got to see with him and vic behind the scenes. hes a sneaky man and definitely could pull the wool over everyone’s eyesgranted, i could also see him as a hufflepuff. aside from the whole Secret Director Stuff, he does seem like a pretty genuine and good dude who cares about his men (”i wasnt planning on having any of my men get killed! that would just be bad leadership :)”) and is all about them gettin their “mission” done and working well together or whatever. hes good for morale lmfao. slytherpuff

Sheila bc why not- i feel like slytherin would work for her. shes smart and sneaky and sarcastic and Good at Things. idk man i just think it Works for her

Other:

Doc- hufflepuff bc hes Bad at everything. hes one of the ones in there because he doesnt fit into the other houses, but also seems like a hardworking/patient dude at times, doesnt get into team rivalry and just wants people to get along without violence (usually)

Bonus O’malley: either a slytherin bc of all his evil schemes, or that kid that wants to be a “slytherin villain” but gets put in hufflepuff immediately lmfao

Bonus Wyoming: Slytherin, also. a sneaky bounty hunter with the time travel/cloning manipulation stuff? he was a pretty formidable foe at the time so i’d say he’d do well here

i was gonna say i fear people will be mad at me for sorting people wrong but like. i couldnt even pick just one house for a n y o n e so