#so if anyone has any fave Friday memes hit me up

[shamblz]

Anyone got any good Friday memes?

[aod4909]

One through thirty (if you can) for the "Hi, I'm not from the US" ask set :D ♥

Wow let me make some tea first*makes tea and sips it dramatically*here we go!damn, this took a while to write… mostly because I spent 2hours laughing at anecdotes but…

I HOPE YOU ARE PREPARED!

1. favourite place in your country? I’m honestly incapable of picking.

2. do you prefer spending your holidays in your country or travel abroad? HOLIDAYS ARE TO BE SPEND WITH FAMILY, GO TO CHURCH AND EAT YOU LITTLE SHIT! xD But what about summe-ORTHODOX CHURCH HAS THAT COVERED TOO

3. does your country have access to sea?

4. favourite dish specific for your country? most would go with souvlaki and gyros but I’ll go with most things they serve in fish taverns x)

5. favourite song in your native language? I don’t listen to Greek music like at all :| a shame really cause we have a lot of amazing musicians. I’ll go with Κάγκελα Παντού  by Πανούσης (who passed recently, may he raise hell wherever he is ♥) It’s that one song that most people know. Back on September at art exams we were hanging in the cafeteria and my friend started singing it and the entire place joined him x) or those who were over 25 and their parents’ was listening to it cause it’s old af…

6. most hated song in your native language? the majority of them? XDDDD Idk I really fucking hate everything that’s popular here… then again I pretty much hate what’s popular everywhere but whatever x)

7. three words from your native language that you like the most? ντιβανοκασέλα ειμαρμένη ταλανίζω and all the new words we keep making every day like my own word for coat racks “καμπαρντινοκαπελιέρα”

8. do you get confused with other nationalities? if so, which ones and by whom? Idk what image you get when you think greek people but let me tell you we are diverse af… Like my friend is dark skinned with black hair, deep brown eyes and busy eyebrows (prob what you would imagine) but I’m white as milk with brown hair that turns reddish/yellowish in the sun and brown eyes, my grandma has blue\purple eyes (fuck my DNA) my cousin has green eyes and light brown hair (fuck my DNA στο τετράγωνο), my other friend is a redhead… ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ What I usually hear from my people is that they were told that they don’t look “Greek enough”

9. which of your neighbouring countries would you like to visit most/know best? I’ve been to Bulgaria so far and I’d like to visit Constantinople some day. What? It’s called Istanbul these days? No, in Greece it.is.not.

10. most enjoyable swear word in your native language? You’ve heard about how spanish is amazing for swearing? Greek is too! (για να λέμε την αλήθεια σα το ελληνικό το μπινελίκι άλλο τίποτα, καθαρίζ’ η ψυχή ‘ς) And we swear a motherfucking lot… and we have great imagination too

11. favourite native writer/poet? I still feel school is too fresh and I kinda “hate” everything we studied and it’s a freaking shame… I’ll pick Ευγένιος Τριβιζάς who writes children’s books because I can still read them and enjoy them! And he made my childhood better!

12. what do you think about English translations of your favourite native prose/poem? I kinda believe that poetry can’t be translated…Like when I read Poe in greek it sounds silly to me even though the translation is pretty good… the words don’t have the same meaning, you know…But that could be just me… I mean I’m learning Polish so I can one day read the witcher books properly xD

13. does your country (or family) have any specific superstitions or traditions that might seem strange to outsiders?

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA

We celebrate name days! birthdays too but name day is more important cause the church said so. (and if your parents dared give you a name that is not a name God himself would give you, and most importantly if it isn’t the name of your grandma or grandpa (even if they already have three grandchildren named after them) bitch think again we are gonna call you Maria now! or Eleni/Yannis/Giorgos.

If someone says something like “tomorrow your parents are gonna die what will you do?” you hit the wood to avoid jinx (often the person who says it hits the wood as they say it…)

Friday the 13th is a normal day to us! It’s Tuesday the 13th that is unlucky (cause that’s when Constantinople fell)

If in a conversation two people say the same word at the same time you gotta say “touch red” and you have to touch something red… idk why….

Talismans! to protect you from the evil eye, or bring good luck. They are usually a small eye shaped thing or crosses but it can be anything that has been blessed :P I know mothers who got pens from the church that were blessed so their kid would pass the exams T________T

Now if you do get the evil eye (like if someone was looking at you and talked/thought a lot about you (good or bad) and you get a headache you pretty much call your grandma for “ξεμάτιασμα”. It’s a ritual of shorts that you put water in a small cup and cross it repeatedly while you say a prayer and put drops of olive oil in it. And the oil will either stay in drops or dissolve in the water… the person who does the whole thing starts yawning during it and they then get the headache the other person had. My uncle calls my grandma EVERY.SIGNLE.DAY. Oh and you have to learn that prayer on a specific day. Only women can learn it and they have to write it down and give it to a man to give it to the woman that wants to learn it or some shit?!?!?!?

also grandmas tend to cross you and spit (they don’t actually spit they pretend …some do spit actually) on you so nothing bad will happen to you

We also tend to spit ourselves if someone speaks of misfortune…

Did you sneeze? Someone is talking about you :^) Ask someone to tell you 3 numbers put them together and count the alphabet. The letter is the first of the name of the person who’s talking about you.

Did someone come to your house and you want him gone? No problem get some salt and sprinkle it behind them!

Is that a priest? Kiss his hand! But wait! Is he on the street?? Σκόρδα! (garlic)

Actually, say σκόρδα!! whenever something bad is said and you’re good

Are your palms itchy? Great!!! You’ll get money!

Is your nose itchy? You’ll get beaten…

Is it christmas or easter? You gotta call ALL your relatives! yes and that ninth cousin you haven’t seen since you were 5. Btw Easter is the most important holiday of the year and we celebrate it on a different day than the rest of the world cause fuck you we know better XD (idk what the actual reason is I’m not religious) oh and there’s a 40day fast before the easter binge!

There are SO MANY superstitions and traditions in this country it should be illegal!!! And everywhere you go they have more and more and more and jesus fucking christ Y____Y in villages they tend to get annoying pretty fast.

14. do you enjoy your country’s cinema and/or TV? I don’t watch tv or movies, but I know of two pretty good comedies atm.There used to be so many amazing shows that I will keep rewatching till I die!S1ngles gotta be my fave ♥ and it’s been 10 years since it ended ;__;

15. a saying, joke, or hermetic meme that only people from your country will get?that will be 90% of them? But here are some not so funny? I found…

16. which stereotype about your country you hate the most and which one you somewhat agree with?

I’ve heard that we are lazy.

Well let me tell you that my grandfather started working when he was 7years old. He was working every day, weekends too! All day and on holidays! And I’m talking hard work here, building houses. He also got mostly deaf from an accident at work and the bones on his right hand started to… idk what it is but it’s from too much work and he needs painkillers (He was never paid extra for that btw) Now he “retired” the government gives him enough money to pay bills, taxes and live for 15 days… he is 82 years old and he still works with no insurance now of course, so he can pay doctors and get through the rest of the month.My mum is a chemist. She leaves for work at 7:30 in the morning and comes back anywhere between 18:00 to 20:00 (depends how fucked up are the roads are today :^) sometimes she works on Saturdays, she is owed around 2k euros from her job and over a month in days-off and whenever she gets them they call her at home to ask her questions cause apparently nobody there knows how to do the job! Oh, she also does private math/physics/chemistry lessons to students after work so she can come home at 22:00 and then cook :^)My dad is officially unemployed (but still has to pay income taxes!!!! cause this is Greece! and shit like that make sense!) and he works with no insurance at my uncle’s store. He also often works on Saturdays.And my family is doing kinda “ok”

Then you have those fucks that sit on their chair all day long, playing Farmville and get overpaid for it, or they just steal it ;P In fact our government consist solely of such fucks!

Now guess who everyone sees and says “all greeks are like that!” I heard that we blame Germany or anyone else that isn’t us. I heard that we don’t value our money or shit.Well, there are a lot of people like that, here and everywhere. The problem is that stupid people are loud af… So you only get to hear them and their stupid opinions that they pulled out of their asses.

A small part of me was glad Trump was elected, cause now yall Americans know what it’s like :\

17. are you interested in your country’s history? yes and no? It’s been shoved down my throat so much that I need a long break before it gets interesting again… I’m mostly interested in ancient Greece.  Byzantium is the most boring shit I’ve ever had the displeasure to study and more recent history… I could be interested but boy school made it that way that whenever I hear the name Ελευθέριος Βενιζέλος I want to throw up.Plus the whole thing “our ancestors made this and that and I today should get credit for” pisses me the fuck off

18. do you speak with a dialect of your native language?  Sometimes, my mum is from the Serres(North) and if I go there I’m from Athens! but when I’m here and something slips they look at me funny like where are you from?

19. do you like your country’s flag and/or emblem? what about the national anthem? Our flag is ok I guess :P Our anthem is beautiful but I don’t like the tune… don’t tell anyone they’re gonna kill me, I lack patriotism tbh…at least compared to everyone here XD

20. which sport is The Sport in your country? Football I guess? In my house it’s basketball. sports and I never heard of each other…

21. if you could send two things from your country into space, what would they be? *cough* Τα γαμημένα σεμεδάκια της γιαγιάς που είναι πάνω στη τηλεόραση… και τη Βουλή. *cough*

22. what makes you proud about your country? what makes you ashamed?Our compassion makes me proud ♥ Like with the refuges- and when I say “we” I don’t mean the government. I mean the everyday people who barely get by themselves and will still share what little they have with those in need.

And then there isthose people. The stupid, lazy, racist, egotistical etc, pieces of shit… That tend to be all those things together at the same time

One thing that is certain in this forsaken country is that the good, hard working people, the innocent and those who follow the rules and respect everyone are those who will be cheated, taken advantage of, beaten to the ground, get punished and suffer. The heartless bastards will be given a praise and a raise.

23. which alcoholic beverage is the favoured one in your country? We have some good wine here ;) and Ouzo and my fave Tsipouro, cause it does the job and smells amazing.

24. what other nation is joked about most often in your country? Well…. everyone?? xD I’m sorry

25. would you like to come from another place, be born in another country? Sometimes… I love my country, I love the land itself, the people, our culture sometimes gets on my nerves… and it hurts me so unbelievably much how this it is treated… but it’s mine you know? Even if I often feel like I don’t really belong here… And even though I would love to live abroad I doubt I could… I would just miss us…και η πίτα της γιαγιάς με κούριερ δε λέει ρε

26. does your nationality get portrayed in Hollywood/American media? what do you think about the portrayal?

I don’t really watch many movies so I wouldn’t know what little they say about us… but like they usually get some shots of a club with people partying non-stop on an island and that is true… non-stop parties for tourists is how they stay alive :P

27. favourite national celebrity? Μαρία Σολωμού  I love that woman and her hair ♥ and her voice and face and personality ;-; She’s been my celebrity crush since I was a kid

28. does your country have a lot of lakes, mountains, rivers? do you have favourites? a lot of all of the above and no I don’t have faves, I haven’t even seen half of them.

29. does your region/city have a beef with another place in your country? Look… if you find one place in the entire country that doesn’t have a beef with someone it’s probably in Crete and that’s because they killed them.

30. do you have people of different nationalities in your family?If by family you mean close relatives, no. But if you mean it the greek way… yes quite a few… but I don’t pay attentions when my grandma tells me the family news x)

THAT WAS LONG AF. AND TOOK ME HOURS but it was fun lol If you read it congratulations! If i made mistakes… fuck you I ain’t reading it again XD