#so if I wish to explore Eliot’s psychology and past relationships then perhaps I will

[taylitruther]

thinking about a rough idea of a fic based on my time as a resident assistant in a college dorm and how we taught interpersonal skills, so there was a whole module type thing on healthy vs unhealthy vs unsafe relationships

thinking about how a story exists somewhere that follows Eliot along the backside of that, from an unsafe relationship based on survival and obedience with Damien to an unhealthy one based on codependency and unbalanced loyalty with Nate to a healthy relationship based on trust and respect with Parker and Hardison

about how going from Damien to Nate is jarring, and in the end he’s still not really able to look back on it with much objectivity because after Damien anything was good anything was better, and he doesn’t want to look too closely at what they were doing and when they were doing it. he doesn’t want to think about how much power he gave a provenly dangerous drunk man over him and his actions and his choices both and in and out of the bedroom

and of course he’s happy with Hardison and Parker but there will always be a broken piece of him that craves the hurt that came from Damien, the instability that came with Nate, because Eliot doesn’t always believe he deserves good things for himself

because good or bad relationships change and sculpt and mold you, and sometimes the hands doing it leave fingerprints in funny places