#so idk when I'll be able to work on the next part.

[morrigan-sims]

I'm so obsessed with my own characters, its unreal. The blorbo of the month is my best boy Rook, but Fallon is always in the background, lurking. And of course, I can't think about Fallon without thinking about [redacted]. (Even if they aren't mine, they are my blorbo-in-law, I guess.)

[skrunksthatwunk]

household enemy to the yyh watchthrough number one is the olympics. it's taken us a week to get two episodes into the gamemaster fight

[meganegatari]

THE WAY YOU WRITE IS JUST SO YUMMM so yeah🧍🏻‍♀️can you write something about streamer ellie <33

☆: IM SO SORRY FOR THE WAIT. definitelyyyy hasn't been...months...anyway. positive this is one of the worse things i've written, but didn't wanna leave you hanging forever! ngl it's pretty filthy..heh.

◇: 18+ pretend those twitch guideline things don't exist. remote control vibrator use, orgasm denial, sub-ish!ellie?? plot twist at the end bc i think im so funny. 1.6k wc. don't mind the layout of this idk what else to do...

You watch your girlfriend stream her game from your fluffy and comfortable spot on your shared bed—you observe how focused she was on her screen, how her skilled fingers were flying across the keyboard and mouse. It would certainly be a shame to disturb her in such a high tension moment but you think it over, running your finger over the small buttons of the sleek little remote in your hand.

"Yeah, yeah, got 'em! Look at that guys, I fuckin’ aced that!" Ellie rejoices in her victory, and gleefully boasts to her viewers, adjusting her microphone closer and leaning back in her chair.

You're glad you were far off camera, her fans didn't even know she was in a relationship—Ellie made it clear she wanted you to be separate from her hobbies, not because she wanted to keep you a secret, but because she wanted to keep you safe. And you enjoyed watching her stream from the sidelines like this, you saw how her personality captivated viewers and how much fun she really was. But you also enjoyed messing with her on the occasion. Like today.

"Can I watch tonight's stream again?" You asked her eagerly. "Yeah, why not? I'll be doing some tournaments and stuff though, so no distractions." Oops. You bit back a laugh. Ellie immediately sussed out the mischievous look on your face and she sighed, expecting the worst.

Then you showed her the box you've been hiding, "Please let's try, I won't click it too much, I promise." She stared at you for a whole minute, maybe more, before sighing and reluctantly agreeing, rubbing her hands all over her face. "God, fine. Just 'cause I love you. Damn you're evil."

Fast forward to now—the device was snugly inserted inside her pretty pussy, tested out to prove it does in fact work, and works well at that.

So off Ellie went to play her game, getting so caught up in everything she seemingly forgot about the device entirely. In between games she was talking to the viewers, reading the chat and joking back and forth. You decided it was a good enough time to click it so you pressed the button, only for a miniscule zap.

She jerked in her seat, gasping, but quickly recovered with a strategic cough. "Phew sorry guys, something got caught in my throat." You saw a bright berry blush spread across her face, and the way she fought to turn and throw a glare at you. This was going to be fun.

"Alright, the next round’s gonna start, we gotta lock in! Hopefully nothing pops up and this goes smoothly. I can taste the win already.” She put a certain warning tone to her voice in the last part of her sentence, you knew it was meant for you, but were you going to listen? Absolutely not. "Oh yeah chat fun fact, this old area of the map was inspired by ancient ruins just of—ah!" As if her body had a mind of its own, she squirmed in her seat and she clapped her hand over her mouth to stifle a moan when you hit it again, but this time you didn't turn it off right away. You kept it going for a few more seconds, to prolong the terribly delicious sensation.

She screwed her eyes shut tightly and held her breath until you turned it off, mumbling to her viewers about "having hiccups". "The game is starting now, so we really gotta get serious." Her voice had an unsteadiness to it only you could hear, she was keeping her composure rather well so far. But likely wouldn't be able to keep up the act for much longer. Even she has her limits.

As her match went on, she got quiet when she was focused, mashing the keys with a speed fast as sound. Of course, you hit it again, just a short one, causing a choked "guh" to escape from her lips and she twitched when you did so, her facade starting to crack. The effort to keep her voice stable was showing, she was huffing and struggling to get her words out clearly, they were laced with obvious irritation.

"Fuck missed the shot, dammit. Yeah I don't know, somethings up today, sorry guys...off my game." You decided to be nice to her until the game ended, not pressing it further or adjusting the intensity. She played for a little while longer before losing the match, leaning forward on the desk with her face in her hands. This was the perfect moment, so you cranked it up, increased the intensity to maximum, and held the button for the longest time yet, making her whine—a low, drawn out sound she couldn't stifle this time.

You could hear lots of messages being sent, pings in rapid succession, they were probably clipping that moment. Perverts, you thought. 

Her chest was noticeably heaving up and down, her legs spread as she rocks her front against the chair, and she kept her head lowered until you decreased the intensity but didn't turn it all the way off. Her hands were shaking, and her face was a vibrant cherry red, the screen even reflected the sparkle of a couple tears in her eyes.

“What? Oh, I'm just so sad about the loss guys, we were so close—hnn- so…so closeahh—I mean, we should've gotten that…” She trailed off, chewing on her bottom lip and tapping her fingers on the desk’s wooden surface. “Y’know what, I'll be right back.” She paused the stream, made triple sure her camera and microphone were turned off, then whipped around in her chair to face you, glaring silver daggers your way.

You just giggled innocently and turned the device off again. “What the fuck is wrong with you, this shit is not- not light on you at all.” Her voice was breaking, her pretty features contorted in a beautifully needy expression, eyebrows furrowed and eyes all watery. Nearly as wet as the mess in her pants. You feigned innocence and shrugged at her, “Well I didn't know it was that strong.” “You knew damn well.” She's fed up with your antics, but you have fun playing with her. She covers her face and leans back in the chair, the embarrassment in her voice the only thing you could hear, “Fuck you...turn it up again, wanna cum.”

You couldn't contain the laugh that burst forth from your chest, then said, “Only if you stream it.” The shock that flickered across her face was priceless, you wish you could have snapped a photo.

“What the fuck do you mean by that, nah forget it.”

“Hey, you gotta finish your stream either way, they're waiting. Would you wanna be so awful and deprive those darlings of your presence?”

You flash her a sugary smile, and she shoots you a murderous look again, before wordlessly scooting back to her setup, fanning herself briefly and readjusting her coppery hair.

Then she turns the stream back on. “Sorry guys, I had to get up for a second. Anyway, let's play one more game. I'm getting kinda tired today. Let's make this one count, lock in like never before.” She takes a deep breath, cracks her knuckles, and begins smacking away at the keyboard buttons. You're able to see the way she looks tense, on edge, anticipating your devilish interruption.

You debate whether you should torture her, but the answer quickly becomes clear. Click.

“Ah—fuck!” She sputters, and roughly slams her fist on the desk. The pleasure was hitting her with full force, she was in her own, lewd, world now. Her head is thrown back, back arched and hips stuttering, the release was about to sneak up on her.

You watch the scenario unfold, licking your lips and pressing your thighs together to deal with the pressure between them. Her unapologetic moans get louder, but for a second she snaps out of the trance to sit back upright, turn the stream off, before the peak hits her like a truck.

“Holy, fu—hah!!” With a squeal she cums, not caring about how fucking loud she was being, wanting to be selfishly absorbed in ecstasy.

She started to jolt around in her seat, the throes of overstimulation making her whimper like an animal in heat, it truly was a sight to behold. You wish you were in between her legs, lapping up her sweetness straight from the source, but in a way, just watching from the sidelines was satisfying enough. You'll clean her up afterward.

Finally you turned it off once and for all, and gazed at her, she was panting heavily, the post-orgasm glow making her rosy skin shimmer in the low light.

“Hmmm, thanks babe, that was so good…” She tried to talk, her head was in the clouds, but she looked at peace.

“You're a whore.” You chortled, and you two shared a laugh.

Although, a flurry of shrill sounds brought you both out of the fantasy. Ping, ping, ping.

Unfortunately she wasn't able to enjoy the aftermath of a mind-numbing session, because her eyes shot open and she began scrambling to find the source of the sound. Your stomach dropped as you watched her panic, her neuroticism infectious.

She looked at you, her eyes wider than saucers, nothing but fear in her voice, “I wasn't able to turn my mic off…”

What was she going to do now?

if you'd like to be tagged in my fics, click here! thank you for reading. asks, reblogs, and comments are appreciated more than you know. ♡

tags: @andersonfilms @ch6douin @aouiaa @sapphic-ovaries @astro-cat2 @paqerings @r3starttt @littlefallenangel111 @sinfulprayerss @lvlymicha @sunnsh1ine @anniee333 @pinkcwake @marsworlddd @caszzine @saturnsdrafts @ashaynep @mascdom @xysbree @liddysflyer @fortune777 @brunaedn @bunnitewsilly @mimasroom2 @deliriousrn @infiniteinquiries @thekill3randthefinalgirl @kissyslut @elliesapple

[freyaphoria]

Ateez Reactions: You want to keep your hoodie/t-shirt on (maknae line)

hyung line

tw: gaining weight mentioned, being skinny memtioned, stretch marks, hurt-comfort, kissing, insecurities!! (idk why but i can't write tw properly)

taglist: @aim-blossom @itza-meee

San

You had just finished the first month of your relationship with San, you didn't see each other often due to his work so you hadn't been physically intimate yet. Since you had been friends for a long time before becoming lovers, he knew well the things that you were confident in and those that you were not, and he always approached you with respect on these issues. He would try to cover up your shortcomings without letting you know, which is why you've never felt insecure around him before. But why do you feel like you're going to sink into the ground right now?

San was on a week-long vacation and wanted to spend his vacation with you. You are also excited to spend time with him. San had booked a room at a nice a hotel with sea view, and things happened faster than you expected and now you were under him, waiting for his next move.

You were feeling insecure because of your skinny body compared to his wide and muscular body. San was always a gym freak and loved bodybuilding. What if he doesn't like your skinny body?

His hands were touching every part of your body he could find. He never let go, as if you would disappear if he left you for even a moment. "Are you sure? If you don't stop me now, I won't be able to stop again." He asked you without looking up from his buried head in your neck. Your hands were pulling on his hair and you pulled a little hard because you were nervous. San looked up at you because he thought you wanted him to stop. "Love? Is there something wrong?" You were torn between telling him or not, but if you didn't tell him about your insecurity and he found out later, he would be sad and maybe disappointed with you; you didn't know, you were so overwhelmed right now.

"I don't want to take off my t-shirt because I'm so skinny and I'll look bad next to you, you won't like me." San looked at you for a while and laughed. But it wasn't a sarcastic laugh, it was like 'are you giving a fuck about this?'.

"You look bad next to me? Love, you are the hottest person I have ever seen and you call yourself bad? Huh?!" San pulled you closer and brought his face closer to yours. "You're so beautiful! Get that in your mind!" He started tickling you and you were squirming. "San- Sannie! Stop!-" You couldn't talk because you were laughing. He knew how to instantly lift your mood. This was a habit from your time as friends. If one of you was in a bad mood, the other would tickle them until they forgot about that thing.

"Okay okay! I give up!" He left you and you regained your breath. "Say it." "Say what?" "Say that you're beautiful or I'll tickle you again." "I am beautiful." You said, staring at him blankly for a moment before his hands moved back to your waist again. "But can I still keep my shirt on? To make me feel comfortable." "Of course, you are already so beautiful in every way." He nod his head before burying his head in your neck again and whispering into your ear the most beautiful words you've ever heard.

Mingi

It wasn't unusual for you to get close in the studio. You've done it dozens of times before at Mingi's studio. But what was different was that you were insecure about your body these days because you thought you had gained weight. Mingi never commented on your size; He wouldn't talk to you critically, except to tell you how beautiful you were and that he adored you.

But when one of your close friends talked about your weight gain in a very humorous and derogatory way, you inevitably felt bad.

While Mingi was trying to write his new solo song, you were lying on the sofa in the studio and playing on your phone because you couldn't find anything to do. You were startled when Mingi suddenly pulled his chair back and turned towards you.

"Come here." He patted his lap. You lazyly got up and sat on his lap. This was also a habit between the two of you. Whenever Mingi was stressed, he would call you to his lap, hug you, and while your scent enchanted him, new ideas would come to his mind.

Mingi's hands began to wander over your body as he hugged you tightly. He started tugging on the thick hoodie you were wearing. When his breathing deepened, you understood what he wanted. “Put your arms up kitten, help me” he grabbed the hem of your hoodie and tried to lift it up. When you stopped him by grabbing his wrists, he looked at you confused. "I don't want to take it off." When you said it hesitantly, his eyes looked worried. "Did I do something? I'm sorry? Did I make you angry? Is it because of the cake I ate yesterday without realizing it was yours? Kitten, I didn't know it was really yours." If you weren't in a bad mood you'd giggle at him. "No, of course not. It's just... I gained weight and my body is not beautiful. I don't want you to see me like this." Mingi pulled you closer to him and hugged you again while stroking your hair. "Don't be ridiculous. I don't care even if you gain weight. I love you so much that even if you weigh 500 kilos, you will still be the most beautiful woman in the world." You giggled at him. "Is it possible to weigh 500 kilos?" Mingi pulled your hoodie down. "I don't know, maybe not?" You both laughed. "Would you feel more comfortable if we didn't take off your hoodie?" You nodded at him. “Okay kitten, I got you."

Wooyoung

"Would you relax a bit?" It was the first time you and Wooyoung got this close; Yes, he was usually on you all the time, but this was different. You were in his dorm room and you were nervous because someone would break in at any moment, on top of that you were going to show him your body so openly for the first time, and he understood your nervousness. "What if someone sees it?" He was kissing you slowly. "There's no one in the dorm right now. Can you trust me for a bit?" You trusted him, and he didn't force you. At first you wanted to get closer, but then your insecurities took over and you started making excuses.

He pulled you into his lap and held your head in his hands. "Why are you nervous? If you don't want to, I can stop and we can continue our day as if it never happened." You shook your head. "I want, but..." "But what?" You avoided eye contact and started playing with the ends of your shirt. "But you know... I..." Your eyes met as he lowered his head to make eye contact with you. You took a deep breath and spoke. "I'm not happy with my body and I have stretch marks." He looked at you confused. "So? I have stretch marks too? What does this change?" You were too embarrassed to talk so you whined in his lap. He grabbed you under your arms and lifted you into the air, pulling you closer. "Look, if you worry about such small things, you'll miss the moment." His eyes were so full of love that they almost made you forget all your insecurities. "I know I just can't help it. Can I just keep my t-shirt on? Besides I'm scared that someone will come and see me. Please?" He grabbed you by your neck and gently pulled you down to his eye level and kissed you slowly on your lips. "I'm 100 percent sure no one will come, but as long as you're comfortable."

Jongho

You and Jongho hadn't gotten physically intimate enough to take your clothes off yet. You would kiss and hug each other every day, but you wouldn't go that far. Jongho wanted to wait until you were ready and not bring it up so that you don't get nervous. But today, for the first time, when you said you were ready for him, you had doubts. Jongho never made a bad comment about your body, but you still didn't feel good about him seeing your body.

When you and Jongho were lying lazyly on the couch in the living room and the topic came up with physical intimacy, you gave him the green light, Jongho couldn't wait any longer, he changed his position, laid you on your back and started kissing you slowly. Your heart was beating so fast with excitement and tension that you thought he could hear it. He was kissing you deeper than you had ever kissed before, and you thought he was holding back until now. Since only the light of the television illuminated the room, you couldn't clearly see his facial expressions; you got nervous because you didn't know if he liked you, if he was enjoying you, if he was happy... You were afraid that anxiety would start to take over and ruin the mood. So you tried to pull away as his hands moved from your chin to your waist and he slowly started removing your top. You couldn't go back too far and held his hands.

"Don't." You were still kissing, but your pace slowed down. "Hm?" He hummed you without leaving your lips. You didn't know how to tell him. "Don't take off my hoodie." Jongho finally pulled away from you and you locked eyes. But his hands went to your hair and tucked the strand from your face under your ear. "Why? How will I see and feel you then?" You could feel your ears turning red with embarrassment. You mentally thanked the lack of light in the room. "You don't need to see my body because it's not beautiful-" He interrupted you by kissing you and whining against your lips. "Don't be ridiculous." "I'm not being ridiculous, I'm telling the truth."

He picked you up and placed you on his lap. "If you're comfortable, let's keep your clothes on, hm?" You nodded your head, too embarrassed to speak. "Look at me, doll." You lifted your head and looked at him. "It doesn't matter to me, stop stressing yourself. Besides, it makes me very angry that you are so beautiful and you treat yourself unfairly." Just as you were about to open your mouth and object, he interrupted you. "We can do it any way you want, as long as you feel comfortable and safe. Shall we go to the bedroom?"

a/n: I finally completed it! Sannie's was a little long but... Anyway, I'll continue with yandere requests. Yunho is wrecking me these days, so don't be surprised if I post 50 yandere yunho at once. HE IS SO!?!?!?!???!?! You have to stop Jeong Yunho, my heart can't take it anymore.

I don't think anyone reads this a/n place lol so I'm going to ramble on around here from now on.

[oh-no-its-bird]

Celebrating my 21'st birthday by posting an obnoxious amount of

Warring States Hatake OC things !

Continuing the warring states era Hatake oc train as I try to fill up all 21 slots for the clan !!! I honestly don't know if I'll make all 21, but I'd like to at least give them all names, just to make the world feel lived in. I might ask someone else to donate an oc or two in the future to guest star in the cast, idk

But anyways !!!! In a clan who loves to adopt, it stands to reason that they ofc have people among them who weren't born Hatake.

With that said: Pyromaniac explosion enthusiast Hatake who was a failed bloodline theft anyone ???

Both Sora and Tsuki are pretty fucking horrendous towards Tetsuo, but in large part it's Tsuki leading the charge. Sora follows his lead, as he's the first friend she made in the clan. They're honestly pretty close

Meanwhile: Sora remains the biggest Haruka fan ever. Being saved from the bloodline thief camp by the woman really cemented her in her mind as her hero.

After Sora lost her arm at 12 when playing with an explosion seal she'd explicitly been told not to play with, Tsuki proposed they learn to do hand signs together.

Sora would eventually be able to figure out how to do pull off a jutsu with only one hand, but it takes a long time to get there— and even when she is there, it still takes longer than if she had 2 hands. Working with Tsuki, they can both pull off just about any jutsu as fast as any one person can. Faster, even

Top ten images taken 5 seconds before disaster...

I was gonna draw 2 more pages for this, of the actual drowning attempt, but I got tired and wanted to post this today so you get a summary of what comes next instead. (Maybe I'll finish drawing it and post it separately another day)

Tsuki and Sora bullied Tetsuo pretty relentlessly till the boys were about 13, when Tsuki took things a step too far and basically tried to drown Tetsuo. Tetsuo fought back, beating both Tsuki and Sora's asses pretty soundly— and catching Haruka's attention in the process.

Seeing Tetsuo fend off the other two made up Haruka's mind, and she declared he'd be her new heir. Which he... didn't actually want to be. Oops!

Sora was pretty effectively scared out of bullying Tetsuo any further, and Tsuki mellowed out a good amount— though he remained mischievous, but that was pretty standard for him.

The blue tint of Tetsuo's skin would fade only some months later as he grew out of his Hoshigaki traits and into his Hatake blood. This also helped to lessen teasing from the other kids, along with the whole "he's the new clan heir now" thing.

Good for him.

The next day Tetsuo is super pissy and sleep deprived while Tsuki is suspiciously smug and well rested. On the bright side, Tetsuo has officially learned his lesson and will now refuse to let Tsuki ever give anyone anything he's drawn ominous spirals on.

As adults, Tetsuo and Tsuki are... fine, honestly. They're friends, in a way. Might even be counted as close— or as close as you can be, with Tsuki.

The fact that Tsuki got himself permanantly posessed by an Uzu spiral demon on that mission gone wrong in Wave doesn't make things as complicated than you'd think. Tetsuo seems to often land himself in the position of acting as Tsuki (and often times Sora's) handler.

I had a few more things I wanted to draw, but ran out of time. I'll probably just try and draw and post it later. No Sora piercing lore, Daisuke introduction post or full Tetsuo drowning comic for you!!! (Yet)

Umm final thoughts:

Tetsuo is doomed to forever be surrounded by maniacs

Early Konoha oc art pt. [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8]

[badgalsasuke]

https://www.tumblr.com/weepingnightmarenaruto/775649233787387904/the-way-kishimoto-handles-narutos-trauma-is-so

What are your thoughts on this?

Hello anon!

Ngl this is one of my favorite ask I've ever received because it allows me to discuss something I've been meaning to for quite some time now.

Before I get into the topic that interests me the most, I'll give my observations on this:

Honestly Narutos childhood before the start of the manga needed to be explored more and Kishimoto should’ve given a bigger focus to how Naruto is because of it.

It was explored. Since chapter 1 and throughout flashbacks over the next chapters of the series, Kishimoto efficiently established and explored Naruto's childhood which explained why Naruto behaves the way he does. Kishimoto does not need to grab the readers hand and explain exhaustively so people understand Naruto's character. This manga is not hard to get to need all that.

But the way Kishimoto constantly shows how okay Naruto is with being mistreated as long as he feels they acknowledged him, is so sad. And I wish Kishimoto awknowledged how unhealthy this is.

This is where it gets interesting. It is true that Naruto isn't allowed to get angry at Konoha and is quickly resolved in the manga (although that particular paragraph was in reference to Sasuke). However, this has more to do w/ the fact that Naruto is a shonen and the power of friendship and loyalty overcomes everything, even Kishimoto himself expressed frustration at how naive the resolution of problems in shonen manga is, maybe if the series was a seinen he would've written with more nuanced about Konoha as a political and military entity that also happens to be the home of the child soldiers.

This is also part of the reason why the Kage summit arc pisses me off so much. Naruto lets himself be beat up by Karui over Sasuke, has a panick attack, rejects Gaara, gets on his knees to beg the raikage to pardon Sasuke etc. Like he should be able to emphatize with the Kumo ninjas over what happened to Killer Bee and he should value his friendship with Gaara more. Honestly Sasuke joining the akatsuki and trying to capture Killer Bee should have been a deal breaker to Naruto. And to top that off Naruto witnessing Sasuke trying to Murder Sakura should at least be one. Naruto forgiving people who mistreats him makes sense, but people mistreating the people he cares for should not be. The way Naruto treats so many of his friends over his obsession with Sasuke is so disappointing.

And this is what I wanted to tackle the most. Naruto fans do not understand Kishimoto's writing AT ALL. Idk if the op of that post is Asian or not, but it's become clear to me that Naruto fans don't know and have shown zero interest in getting to know Kishimoto's writing influences. And no, I'm not talking about Dragon Ball.

Kishimoto has shared with fans his interest in Samurai and the Edo period Japan several times, to the point the first manga he wanted to write when he was a highschooler, before he even won an award at Shonen Jump, was about Samurai but scrapped the idea because at the time mangas like Rurouni Kenshin and Blade of the Immortal came out and he felt there was no longer space for him in the highly popular sub-genre and also that he's own writing wasn't as good compared to the aforementioned works.

But that does not mean that we don't see Kishimoto's nerdy side come out in Naruto about Samurai even if it's a manga about ninjas. There's the obvious, we see during the 4th war arc an actual battle between two samurai warriors, we also know Naruto is established in a fantasy universe of feudal Japan with damyos (feudal lords) and all. The themes of honor and loyalty, quests for revenge, the overall kinship is present as well.

But for those who have read Japanese literature works from the 17th century, you would have noticed that Kishimoto borrows A LOT from them when he's writing his manga, especially for Naruto and Sasuke.

It's funny because SS and NH shippers, as well as Naruto stans who hate Sasuke and Sasuke stans who hate Naruto and even fujoshis who are used to cookie-cutter stories where seme and uke do nothing but fuck after a couple of meetings in a corporate setting or high school or whatever boring shit they like to read, use the following examples to show how toxic and unhealthy Naruto and Sasuke's relationship is, not caring about Kishimoto's literary references as usual.

Kishimoto writes a love story the way they used to be written centuries ago. He draws a lot of inspiration from at least two writers from this period Ihara Saikaku and Chikamatsu Monzaemon.

The first example is Haku and Zabuza's relationship, I'll speak about them before moving to Naruto and Sasuke to give more context on how homosexual love stories were written around the time. Although Zabuza is not a samurai but rather a ninja on the run, the relationship is clearly inspired on the wakashudo practices where an older man would take a child from ages 11-16 as his protégé to train him, feed him, give him shelter and take him as his lover until the child came of age and became a warrior at the service of the lord of the land himself. Those young boys must be of great beauty, Saikaku is constantly writing about how their beauty is what grants them the better masters over the ugly boys.

This is what Zabuza and Haku do. Zabuza takes Haku as an apprentice and they swear loyalty to each other till the death, because that's the other thing, if the circumstance presented, both master and apprentice would fight alongside each other, kill for each other and if necessary die for each other.

Many Naruto fans feel uncomfortable about the real nature of Zabuza and Haku's relationship and delude themselves into believing their relationship is actually one of father and son, lol how stupid.

Because Naruto is a shonen, we never see sexual acts being performed so Kishimoto instead shows us the attraction these characters feel for one another through suggestive dialogue and flushed faces.

Even Haku's sacrifice and Zabuza's final words are totally inspired in the works of Saikaku, where both lovers hope to meet each other in another world. Foer exambple, in one of Saikaku's stories The Boy who Sacrificed his Life in the Robes of his lover, the boy, Senjuro, who had pledged to love Sazen in this world and the next and knowing his lover was at risk of being ambushed and killed, disguises himself as Sazen sacrificing his life for him getting slashed from the back, after learning about Senjuro's death Sazen kills himself as well.

Very dramatic right? This other post also discusses briefly Haku and Zabuza and Kishimoto drawing inspiration from literary works from the Edo period [LINK]

Let's move onto Naruto and Sasuke. Is their relationship toxic and unhealthy? By today's standards it sure is. But by the standards of the 17th century is one of the greatest stories of male love ever told, I'm certain if Saikaku could read Naruto he would commend Kishimoto on his work. But this is something Naruto fans don't know and quite frankly most don't care about.

In the post you linked, OP expresses the arc that pisses them off the most (and most Naruto fans hate as well) is the Kage Summit arc where Naruto states his fierce loyalty to Sasuke no matter what, and I must laugh because if there's any arc that resembles the male love stories of the Edo period the most, it's that one.

It bothers most fans Naruto wanted to commit double suicide so he and Sasuke escape the burdens of their world and be free of them in the next one. This is a common theme in literature of 17th century Japan. Two lovers making up for their Confucian failings in this world seeking redemption in a Buddhist paradise (at the time Buddhism had made its way into Japan and it was very different from China and India's Buddhism, you can read more about it here).

Kishimoto has referenced Chikamatsu in Naruto, so he is familiar with his plays where lovers commit double suicide as the ultimate showcase of love. I believe Kishimoto felt more comfortable and had more freedom to reference Chikamatsu and not Saikaku because the former wrote heterosexual romances whereas the latter focused more in homosexual romances and Kishimoto was already walking on a fine line by this point.

These other blogs have written great posts on how Kishimoto incorporated the double suicide trope for Naruto and Sasuke [LINK], [LINK], [LINK]. So I don't think I need to delve any deeper into it, they did a great job themselves.

But this is what OP doesn't understand. Kishimoto is writing an epic, a love story for the ancient times. Sasuke doing all that and all this is kind of like a test, Naruto's devotion is being put through highs and lows and they must overcome them. It'd be good fanservice to some if Naruto would give up on Sasuke but that'd be pretty boring and writers of the Edo period would be rolling over their graves if Kishimoto did that, HA!

Another element Kishimoto borrowed from Saikaku's literary works is the willingness to commit seppuku for your loved one. We see this with Madara and Hashirama.

In Saikaku's story Nightingale in the Snow two young boys, Naiki and Dannosuke, seek to become the lovers of the samurai Tonai. When Tonai demands proof of their love for him the boys show themselves willing to commit seppuku in front of him, Tonai shocked by their devotion accepts them as lovers.

The scene is similar to Hashirama also being willing to kill himself in front of Madara per his request, hoping Madara would accept him and trust him and his clan. Madara just like Tonai, is shocked by Hashirama's actions and stops him just in time, accepting him and joining his clan with Hashirama's, just like Tonai accepted the boys.

Which leads me to Kishimoto's *actual* finale for the Naruto series, the chapter he had planned and envisioned for 15 years, chapter 698. It's also been discussed by another blog how the theme of the battle Love vs. Power and the panels are a homage to Devilman's own final battle [LINK]. But what interests me in particular about chapter 698 in relation to Saikaku's work is how mutilation of your own body has also been a common trope in Japanese male love literature as proof your devotion.

Kinda like Naruto willing to lose his arm to Sasuke hoping to finally reach his heart (and did!). Sasuke would also go on to refuse a new arm, keeping himself mutilated as a reminder of Naruto's devotion for him.

Something that surprised me at first but then it made total sense to me is the brotherly troth found in Saikaku's works. Usually when a Samurai took a young apprentice, the samurai was old as shit (40-60 years old) and the young boy would be anything between 11-17 years. But there were times when a younger man would engage in a relationship with another man close in age, (although for us in modern times a lot of them would still be considerable age-gaps).

Saikaku for example, wrote the love story between Sazen, a 28 year old and Senjuro, a 17 year old, because of their not so big age-gap, these two lovers considered each other "brothers". They formalize their relationship by having sex, considering it the consummation of their brotherly troth.

When Sazen believes Senjuro had betrayed him for another man he's heartbroken Senjuro might had broken his vows of brotherly love.

So in Edo Japan homosexual relationships between two men close in age were considered similar to that of brothers, or at least brought the men so close they would consider one another brothers. Something very important to keep in mind is that none of these men are actually blood related.

In another of Saikaku's stories They Waited Three Years to Die, Kikui the younger man, considers his lover, Uhei to be his elder brother.

It seems that in this period of time there wasn't a clear divide in the type of love a man might profess another man with whom he is in love and has sex with, and the type of love two blood-related brothers felt for each other. Again, this is not condoning incest, it's more so how they saw male-male romantic relationships as deeply intimate they rivaled the bonds of blood-related people.

I had already made a post on what I believed Kishimoto meant with his whole "more brothers than blood-brothers" deal he has going on with Naruto and Sasuke [LINK]. But now I understand where it comes from. It really has nothing to do with actual incest (or pseudo-incest or spiritual-incest or whatever the fuck antis come up with) but him drawing inspiration from centuries old literary works on homosexual relationships. After all Naruto being set in what's clearly fantasy Edo feudal Japan, it makes sense Naruto the character would have a similar view on his feelings for Sasuke.

Finally, another thing I found very interesting is how in Saikaku's works he always makes sure to let the readers know how beautiful a man (usually the bottom of the relationship) is by comparing his looks to those of a girl. For example, in his story Implicated by his Diamond Crest, Saikaku writes Tannosuke is so beautiful people thought he was a girl when he was seven years old.

So funny how Kishimoto does the same with Haku and Sasuke, such pretty beautiful boys people think they're girls.

Kishimoto is so insane, this old man really thought he could get away with all this, uh? or maybe he was hoping people would notice.

So going back to OP's post linked, what they and most Naruto fans complain about is that Kishimoto writes seeking to emulate the writing of 17th century authors rather than a 21st century one. So a lot of things that for us are toxic and unhealthy, were symbols of passion and loyalty back then and that's how Kishimoto sees them and seeks to express them in his own work. This is why it's so important to keep in mind author's intentionality when engaging with some art or media work. What is Kishimoto trying to say with his manga? what are his references, influences and inspiration? which works parallel his own? There's a reason why every creative is always telling us the media they consume and their favorite art, because we are seeing pieces of them reimagined in their own new work.

I'm really proud that I managed to make this post only considering Japanese works and not adding Western ones for direct parallels between Naruto and other pieces of literature. But this sentiment of wanting to fight alongside your loved one, killing for them and dying by their side is pretty much universal in homosexual literature, especially from the ancient times. You can also find this celebration of homosexual love in Ancient Greek and Roman literature too, Achilles and Patroclus being the most famous example.

The lyrics of Taylor Swift's song You Are In Love, fit pretty well this same sentiment those men centuries ago were trying to describe as well.

Like yeah, imagine you've been sent off war, women stayed in the city and you're left with nothing but the company of the men you're gonna fight alongside and quite possibly die alongside too. Of course you'd love them, in every way a person could possibly love another one, because those men are your brothers.

The screenshots I used for this post are from Ihara Saikaku's book The Great Mirror of Male Love.

[whipped-for-kpop-fics]

Session Three; A Lesson Learned? - L.JH ft K.SY

🎙Who; Lee Jihoon & Kwon Soonyoung (Seventeen) x reader 🎙What; smut, fwb, producer/idol Jihoon, idol Soonyoung 🎙Wordcount; 4.9k 🎙Warnings; profanity, threesome, dom jihoon, sub soonyoung, sub reader, over clothing handjob, edging, orgasm denial, oral(m), fingering mentions, voyeurism/exhibitionism, penetrative sex, protected sex, choking, auditory kink I guess?(idk if that's the right term for this), coming untouched(m), no actual m x m.

Summary; There's something about Soonyoung today that makes you want to play with him. Who cares if it's in Jihoon's studio while Soonyoung is supposed to be recording his lines.

Minors do NOT interact, which means reblogging/commenting on this story. I WILL block any account that interacts without an age indicator in the bio.

-2024 Masterlist- 🎙 In The Studio Masterlist 🎙

Part 3/? of In The Studio; a series of Jihoon fucking in his studio.

Edited: 23/12/24

You don't mind watching Jihoon work; sometimes it's even pretty interesting, but today? Not so much. Time just seems to drag on and on.

Soonyoung is currently in the booth working on his verse for the next Performance Unit song that's due for release in a couple of months. At least being able to watch him work hard in his sleeveless top and shorts gives you some very nice visuals to somewhat entertain yourself through your boredom.

It probably really does not help that before Soonyoung arrived, Jihoon had his hand in your panties doing a very good job of getting you close to a wonderful climax, and then Soonyoung turned up and caused Jihoon to quickly pull his hand to himself before the pair of you could get caught.

So now you're bored and horny from an orgasm being unfairly ripped away from you.

Jihoon notices the way you keep fidgeting, restless and still aroused. Honestly, so is he, but he has his work to focus on so he can ignore the lust simmering lowly in his veins. And he definitely doesn't fail to notice the way your darkened gaze is lingering on Soonyoung.

Something sparks in his lower stomach and reminds him of a vague fantasy he had a few months back when the pair of you had almost got caught fucking in the backseat of your car.

The thought of someone opening the door and seeing you two fucking had turned Jihoon on enough that day that he came instantly, and well, it certainly reawakened some rather exhibitionist thoughts of his own.

So really, Jihoon isn't exactly against Soonyoung seeing you two having sex; though he isn't sure how you would feel about that so he keeps it to himself for now and knows he'll probably bring it up at some point in the future.

Yet for now, there's another thought at the forefront of his mind. “Keep staring at him so much and I'll think you want to fuck him,” Jihoon murmurs lowly to you, even if Soonyoung most definitely cannot hear the conversation while he's in the recording booth.

You hadn't expected Jihoon to talk and honestly, you had been a little lost in your fantasies about going into that booth and seeing if Soonyoung's dancer stamina carries over into sex, so you jolt a little in surprise before turning your head to look at Jihoon without lifting your chin from your palm, elbow on the desk to keep you propped up.

Jihoon's tone hadn't sounded annoyed or negative in any way, just his normal, neutral voice, but you can't always be sure. Yet looking at him it's clear he's not particularly angry at the possibility of his own words being true.

“Maybe I do,” you start, causing Jihoon to slide his gaze from his computer screen and over to you with a slightly raised eyebrow at you essentially confirming his suspicions. “Got a problem with that?”

To your surprise, there's only a second of hesitation where Jihoon genuinely considers your question, and then he shakes his head a little. “No, you can fuck whoever you want.”

“Even if I want to work my way through your band?”

Jihoon doesn't hesitate to shrug this time. “So long as you come back to me and don't make shit awkward, yeah, go ahead; have fun.”

You watch him get back to his work with excitement fizzling in your chest. He's pretty much just given you a giant green light to fuck his band members and you won't lie, you've most certainly considered more than just Soonyoung in a sexual manner before.

Knowing that Jihoon won't care if you do, you're already thinking about ways to seduce each one of them into bed and turn your head back to watch Soonyoung with a whole new level of horny to your gaze.

Twenty minutes of your very thorough fantasies later, Jihoon gets up, after using the mic to tell Soonyoung he's going to the bathroom meaning it's a break time. Jihoon's gaze meets yours as he gets to his feet; there's something odd in it that you can't quite put your finger on, but honestly, you don't have the mental capacity to linger on it.

All you can think about is that you know Jihoon will sit and play the mobile game which he downloaded recently, in the bathroom for at least ten minutes before returning and getting back to work.

You can seduce Soonyoung in ten minutes; you've done a lot more with less time.

Pretty much as soon as the studio door closes securely once Jihoon is out, you're up on your feet and entering the booth.

Soonyoung smiles over at you when he hears the door open, the headphones around his neck as he repeats the line he's been working so hard on. “Oh hey,” he greets, looking back at the lyric sheet as you approach and peer around him at the sheet yourself. “This line is really kicking my ass.”

“Mm, you're getting stressed,” you confirm with a hum. “You need to relax.” You lift your hands to place on his shoulders gently so as to not make him jump and then start to dig your thumbs into the muscle in a massage. Soonyoung lets out a soft breath and melts a little under your touch.

For a few minutes, you work your hands against his muscles, gradually working from his shoulders down his back and Soonyoung lets you; he just keeps relaxing further and further under your hands with his eyes closed contently.

Up until your left hand skirts over the side of his hip and to his thigh.

Soonyoung's breath catches and his eyes fly open. “W-what're you doing?” He stammers in a whisper, head tilting down to watch the way your hand kneads at the outside of his thigh, slowly edging over to the front.

“Helping you relax, babyboy,” you reply so simply, like it's so fucking normal to ‘massage’ a friend's thigh like this.

You're so nonchalant about it that despite his nerves fizzing behind his sternum and gradually mixing with budding arousal, Soonyoung doesn't say or do anything else and lets you continue.

Not that it lasts long when your hand slides around towards his inner thigh and brushes against his very gradually hardening length. Soonyoung lets out a sound that could be an attempt at talking if it wasn't just a few vague stammered syllables.

“You okay, baby?” You ask gently and pull your hand back slightly, not wanting to push him too far. Though you don't move your hand away entirely, there's at least some breathing room between your still massaging fingers and his cock. Soonyoung makes a hum of confirmation in a higher pitch than his normal voice. “Want me to stop?” You wonder, just in case.

“What about Woozi?” He worries, flitting his eyes over his shoulder to you nervously, though they quickly return down to watch your hand.

“You know his routine as much as I do; he's going to sit there playing on his phone for at least ten minutes,” you assure and smoothly relocate around him to stand more to his side and give yourself a better view and reach.

He looks at you through his lashes shyly and blushes darker than the soft pink flush of arousal on his cheeks as you look down at his crotch and visibly see how he's getting harder with every press of your fingers into his strong thigh muscle.

“How...how long has he been gone?”

You lift your gaze to meet his own still shy one. “Not ten minutes.”

Soonyoung stares at you for a moment in careful deliberation before he licks his lips and nods a little. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

His features twist a little as your hand falls still and he lifts his head to lock his softly pleading eyes on you. “Don't stop. Please?”

“Okay, baby,” it's so easy to agree when he looks at you borderline desperately already. Not that you need much encouragement right now, anyway; just consent, and he's certainly given that.

You don't linger on his thigh anymore and move your hand over to press your palm against his length. Soonyoung whimpers and wraps one hand around your wrist for stability, already feeling so sensitive despite the fact you've done nothing to him yet.

You wonder if he's always like this or if he's just pent up and it's been a while since he's felt any touch but his own. You'd really like to find out.

“It's okay, I've got you, gonna make you feel good, okay, Soonyoungie?”

“Please,” he whispers, swallowing thickly before letting his lips stay parted as you start to move your hand against him.

You're far too invested in the little whines and pants prettily escaping Soonyoung's mouth as you grope and rub at his cock over his shorts, and he's far too caught up in the pleasure you're so easily and skilfully giving him, that neither of you notice Jihoon's return.

Honestly, Jihoon is not entirely surprised to find you in the booth and touching Soonyoung. Part of him had hoped you'd initiate something; he had tried to tell you to do as much with his eyes when he left earlier. But he knew you hadn't noticed. He's just glad you're horny enough to still do what he wants, even if not directly.

For a minute, Jihoon stands by his desk with his arms folded over his chest and watches.

Part of him has been wondering for a while if he's into watching. He knows he likes watching you touch yourself; he often has you spread your legs wide with your hand in between while he sits and watches intently with his hand wrapped around his cock. But he wasn't sure if it was just because it's you masturbating with and for him, or if he really is a voyeur.

But now he knows he's definitely a fucking voyeur. He's already half-hard in his shorts and only getting harder the longer he watches.

Jihoon knows he won't be able to keep his calm for much longer so he unfolds his arms and leans down onto his left palm while the right presses the button on the mic on his desk to pass his voice into the room.

The second Jihoon starts to speak, Soonyoung jerks violently and spins to look at the window between the booth and studio with wide, guilty eyes. “You really think you can play like this in my studio without inviting me?” Jihoon drawls darkly.

Soonyoung gulps while arousal sparks brighter in you. You know by Jihoon’s tone alone that he’s turned on and wants to fuck. And when you look at him, it's clear by his expression that he wants to play.

At least to you it is because Soonyoung clearly doesn't realise that Jihoon isn't mad.

“Guess I'll have to teach you both a lesson, huh?” Jihoon chuckles and meets your gaze directly. “On your knees, baby.”

You don't hesitate and lower to your knees with little more than a nod, more than happy to play whatever game Jihoon wants because you know he'll fuck you right when it's time. He always does.

“W-woozi-” Soonyoung stammers out, but Jihoon just raises an eyebrow at him, causing him to cut off with a thick swallow.

“If you want to see where this goes Soonyoung, put the headphones back on and do your lines. If you don't want to play with us, I suggest you leave now,” Jihoon warns firmly.

Soonyoung holds the younger's eye contact for a moment before he turns his head to look down at you where you're kneeling patiently to get this show on the road.

“You can change your mind during; neither of us will force you to stay if that happens,” you assure while putting a comforting hand on Soonyoung's thigh to squeeze gently. He naturally puts his hand over yours to show that he registers the comfort, then swallows once more and nods in understanding and agreement.

Soonyoung's hands are slightly shaky when he turns to the mic and lifts the headphones from around his neck to put back comfortably over his ears. Though he pushes the left one back a little, freeing enough of his ear on your side.

“Baby,” Jihoon prompts. When you look at him, he nods towards Soonyoung simply then sits down to get back to work without even waiting for your confirmation that you understand.

As you shuffle closer to Soonyoung he inhales sharply and drops his attention with wide eyes to watch as your hands untie his shorts. His hands are still trembling a little at his sides but he makes no attempt to stop you despite his nerves.

It's all very new to him; not sex, but this kind of sex, especially with someone else present and able to see what's happening. He's not entirely certain he's into it, but he's more than willing to try it out; especially as it means he finally gets to know what you look like on your knees for him.

“Here's what's going to happen,” Jihoon's voice echoes into the room again, making Soonyoung jump a little and glance over at Jihoon, but your hands are tugging down Soonyoung's shorts and boxers so his attention quickly returns to you. “You're going to do your lines, Soonyoung, while she sucks your dick.”

“W-what?” Soonyoung baulks while looking at Jihoon with wide eyes. “B-but I won't be-” He cuts off with a sharp moan when he suddenly feels wet heat around the very tip of his cock. He looks at you and finds your lips wrapped around his erection; barely any of his hard cock is actually in your mouth but enough that it's already driving him crazy.

“Good girl,” Jihoon hums in approval and smirks as he watches Soonyoung struggle to gather himself. Jihoon hadn't known that Soonyoung is this sensitive, but it sure is entertaining. “Lines, Soonyoung; you can't cum until you've nailed them.”

That makes Soonyoung look over in alarm as soon as the words have fully registered in his mind. “What?!”

“You need to learn your lesson. Mic.” Jihoon points to the mic, and then focuses on his computer to play the track, sending it into Soonyoung's headphones.

You decide to be nice and pull off of Soonyoung to give him at least a chance to get his lines right. He gives you a grateful look before facing the mic again, making you shuffle around to be able to still get to him when you deem him ready.

Just when Soonyoung opens his mouth to start his lines at the right point, you lean back in and abruptly slide half of his length into your mouth. A loud moan escapes Soonyoung's open mouth and his legs weaken at the sudden pleasurable touch while his eyes roll back.

Jihoon cuts off the track with a disappointed tut. “Try again,” he demands.

That's how it goes for long enough that Soonyoung is a trembling, whimpering mess; his hands on your head as he pleads you to just “please let me cum” but you don't. Jihoon hasn't given the go-ahead and honestly, you're enjoying making Soonyoung such a mess with nothing more than your mouth wrapped around him; alternating methods but still never giving him too much. You want to drag it out, need to really in order to give him a chance of getting his lines down.

But the longer you're on your knees, the worse Soonyoung gets.

“Alright, enough,” Jihoon sighs when his own arousal is too hard to ignore any longer. He's been fighting the urge to reach into his shorts and jerk himself off for at least ten minutes now.

Watching you edge Soonyoung time and time again really does a fucking lot for Jihoon.

“P-please,” Soonyoung practically sobs out when you lean back and remove your mouth from his leaking cock. He's practically throbbing he's so desperate to cum.

He truly had been so close to an orgasm on multiple occasions yet you had somehow always noticed despite him not even attempting to warn you and pulled away while he sniffled and wailed for you to come back.

“Jihoon says no.” You shrug and look over as the door opens and Jihoon steps in. There's a very obvious bulge in his shorts and he doesn't even try to hide it.

You really do love it when he's so shameless about his own arousal, it turns you on even more.

“Ji,” you call; there’s a slight pleading edge to your voice as he gets closer to you.

“I know, baby,” he coos softly and cups your jaw with one hand, letting his thumb pull on your bottom lip a little. “You've been a good girl, huh; on your knees for so long for a man who can't even control his orgasm enough to get one thing done, hm?” You pout a little; playing on it as much as your partner while Soonyoung just stares between you with glassy, wide, hope-filled eyes. “I think you've learned your lesson, right princess?”

“Mm, I have. I'll never play in your studio without you,” you confirm, even though you're pretty sure you will if the opportunity arises.

It's clear to you that Jihoon isn't genuinely annoyed by walking in on you two in any way; it's just an act. An act you really wouldn't mind repeating.

“That's my girl, up you get,” he encourages and moves his hand to offer it to you and tug you up to your feet. Then he leans right in and slots his lips against yours.

The kiss is utterly filthy from the get-go; full of tongue and soft moans from you both.

“Fuck,” Soonyoung's whisper pulls you apart to look at him. He has one hand around his throbbing cock, slowly jerking himself to the sight of the two of you making out right in front of him.

“I said you can't cum; why the fuck are you touching yourself?” Jihoon questions harshly. “Put it away.”

“W-what?” Soonyoung sputters in disbelief. “Put it away?”

“Mm; you didn't listen so you don't get to cum. Put your cock away and go sit in my chair with the headphones on that I left on the desk. Do not touch yourself either.”

“I...okay.” Soonyoung's lips protrude in a disappointed pout before he awkwardly tucks his cock away and removes the headphones from his head to put on the stand, and then he waddles out of the booth to sit at Jihoon's desk to do as told.

“Ji,” you murmur once you see Soonyoung settling the chunky noise-cancelling headphones over his ears. Jihoon hums as he turns his head to you after watching until Soonyoung falls still with his fingers holding onto the arms of the chair on either side of him. “Please?”

“Of course; you know I can never say no when you ask so nicely.” He kisses you once more then reaches for your trousers to open them and pull them down your legs as he lowers to his knees.

Obediently, you lift each leg in turn to allow him to pull the material off and fling it aside. To your surprise, Jihoon stays on his knees and slides his hands up your thighs, nudging a little until you open them enough that he can see the wet patch on the seat of your panties.

“Oh, baby, you really need me, huh?”

“Yeah, need you so much,” you confirm, knowing how much it gets Jihoon going to hear you being as shameless as he can be about what you want.

“Want my mouth, baby?” He teases while brushing his lips over your inner thigh.

“Want your cock.”

Jihoon huffs a short, low laugh and looks up at you. “My cock?” You nod, pouting down at him. “Want it that much you don't even want my mouth first?”

“Want you to fuck me.”

“Mm, what my baby wants, my baby gets,” he agrees and makes short work of removing your panties before he gets to his feet. “Face the mic.” You listen, turning to face the mic and meet Soonyoung's wide gaze. “Can you hear us, Soonyoung?”

You watch him nod as Jihoon steps up behind you, hands pushing his shorts and boxers down just enough to free his cock.

“Did he nod?” You make a noise of confirmation as Jihoon focuses on pulling a condom from his pocket to open and slide it onto his length, tossing the wrapper aside carelessly. “Good. Want him to hear what he doesn't get because he didn't learn his lesson.”

“Are you saying you would've let him fuck me if he had got his lines down?” You muse, breath catching with excitement when Jihoon grips your hip with his left hand, his right holding his cock as he gently taps your foot with his own to prompt you to spread your legs to accommodate him.

“Well, if he could get hard again after cumming in your mouth, sure.” Jihoon scoffs condescendingly. “But judging by the way he can't even hold back to get a few lines down; I doubt he'd have the fucking stamina to go again.”

“Shame.” You inhale sharply as Jihoon starts to slide his cock into your dripping hole. “Ji,”

“Yeah, fuck, I know, baby, you're so desperate to be fucked, huh?” He teases, too breathless from the friction on his needy cock to sound as mean as he wants to right now. “This pussy needs to be filled, huh?”

“With you.”

“Yeah, with me.” He jerks his hips forward; sheathing himself inside you and making you moan at suddenly being full.

It's a good thing he had been fingering you earlier and that you're so turned on and wet from everything that's happened, otherwise he would not be able to do bury himself in you like that without causing you both discomfort bordering on pain. It’s a good thing he knows your body so well.

“Fuck, you always feel so fucking good, baby,” Jihoon exhales after just admiring how your walls hug his length so fucking perfectly. He'll never get over how good you feel around him. Every time it feels like the first time all over again.

He's fucking obsessed with your pussy at this point; utterly convinced he'll never find anyone as good as you again. And honestly, the feeling is pretty mutual; nobody has ever fucked you like Lee Jihoon and you doubt anyone else ever will.

“Fuck me, Ji, come on,” you encourage in a whine while gripping his hand on your hip to pull it around your waist knowing you'll need his strong arms to keep you up once he actually gets started. As it is, your legs are already shaking just from having his cock pressing motionlessly so deep within you.

As much as Jihoon would love to draw it out purely to wind up both you and Soonyoung, who is still watching with wide eyes and hands gripping the armrests so tight his knuckles are getting paler by the minute, Jihoon is honestly not faring much better himself where control is concerned.

So he pulls back his hips after tightening his arm around your waist. He puts his right hand on your chest for extra stability, and to keep you in position, before he snaps his hips forward, forcing a high-pitched moan to tumble from your mouth and right into the microphone inches from your face.

After glancing over at Soonyoung to make sure he's paying attention, Jihoon truly does not waste time or hold back.

His hips slap against your ass so harshly with every rough thrust into your dripping pussy that your skin is starting to sting in the most delicious of ways. You're certain your ass with be red raw by the time he's done with you, and honestly, you wouldn't have it any other fucking way.

“God, baby,” Jihoon groans, leaning forward to talk lowly into your ear as his hand on your chest slides up to the bottom of your throat, applying no pressure but just resting there.

Still, it makes you squeeze down around him at the mere suggestion of him wrapping his beautiful fingers around your fucking throat and choking you as he pummels your walls with his cock. “W-want it? Wan-wanna show Soonyoung how-fuck- how pretty you sound with a hand-hand around your throat?”

You can't even attempt to respond in any way; even if his hand isn't inching up your throat and threatening to restrict your airflow, you wouldn't be able to. Jihoon's fucking you way too good. All you can do is let more filthy noises tumble from your parted lips.

All the months of sex have really given Jihoon ample time to know your body inside out, literally. So he knows what the tightening on his cock means, knows what the stuttered “ah-ah-ah”s from your open mouth means. He fucking knows you want him to choke you even if you can't say it. He knows you; knows what you like and his hand on your throat isn't new to your sessions at all.

“Good girl,” he breathes out and finally gets his hand in the right place while he slows his thrusting so he isn't jostling your body as much. He doesn't want to risk hurting you more than you like, even if his cock is throbbing and trying to urge him to keep fucking you like a mad man.

The second Jihoon's fingers start to apply pressure, you grip him tighter; both with your hand and pussy. You're so fucking close to an orgasm, you can feel it right there but this isn't quite enough for you and Jihoon knows it; knows what the gasped attempts at babbles mean as your eyes roll back despite already being closed.

Instead of letting go of you to play with your clit like he usually would, Jihoon starts to grind into you; forcing his cock to rub hard and incessantly against the most sensitive spots amongst your throbbing walls in the most intensely pleasurable way.

“Fuck!” You squeak, eyes flying wide and unintentionally meeting Soonyoung's through the glass. He looks so far gone; practically drooling from his open mouth as he stares at you intently as if he's forgotten how to blink. You're not sure if that's what sends you over or if the timing is just too perfect, but suddenly, your orgasm crashes through your body so powerfully that your legs give out and Jihoon is forced to wrap both arms around you securely as your body sags. You barely even notice; mind and body flashing with bright pleasure.

Jihoon barely lasts a few more rolls of his hips as he does his best to work you through the climax before his own hits him and he groans into your neck while he fills the condom.

Slowly, you come around from the intense orgasm with a heaving chest and ears buzzing. You can vaguely tell you're being talked to but nothing is registering yet.

It's not the first time Jihoon has fucked you to this state, and although it still always worries him a little that you get unresponsive as your mind puts itself back together, he knows how to handle it now and just focuses on carefully pulling his length from you without losing the condom.

Even though you can't hear him clearly, Jihoon still talks to you and tells you he's dealing with the condom as he awkwardly does his best to tie it off and then just tosses it to the floor gently to deal with later. He knows he'll regret throwing it to the floor later when he has to clean it up, but right now he only cares about you.

Once his shorts and boxers are back up, Jihoon adjusts his arm around you until he can manoeuvre you up into his arms bridal style. He knows he doesn't have to be that careful with you, so he doesn't feel bad about jostling your sated form as he opens the door to the booth to take you into the studio.

Though he does go back to being gentle as he lays you on the couch and pulls the blanket from the back over your lap for your modesty as Soonyoung is in the room and still watching the two of you.

“You alright?” Jihoon asks, glancing over at Soonyoung quickly so the elder knows he's being talked to. Soonyoung removes the headphones quickly. “I said; are you alright?”

“Oh, uh, ye-yeah. Is she?”

“Mm, she'll be around in a minute,” Jihoon confirms and backs away from you to face Soonyoung. “You're not hard.” He gives the taller a pointed look while putting his hands on his hips.

“I didn't touch myself!” Soonyoung defends rapidly, eyes wide and honest. “Just...”

“Came untouched?” Jihoon smirks as Soonyoung looks away embarrassed, cheeks darkening from the pleased flush from his post orgasm state. “I fucking knew you'd lose it with her moaning in your ears.”

“She sounds so good; how do you stay so calm?” Soonyoung marvels while looking at Jihoon utterly awestruck.

“Guess you need to learn some self-control, Soonyoung,” Jihoon teases with a chuckle.

“I don't think I'm very good at learning lessons,” Soonyoung admits with a sheepish smile that makes Jihoon scoff a laugh.

“I noticed. You still need to do your lines; don't think this gets you out of it for today.”

“I don't think I can go back in that booth without getting hard again.”

“Then I guess you'll have to be taught another lesson.”

“I'm never going to be able to set foot in this studio without a boner ever again.”

[mysecretlittlelibrary]

Every Inch of You

Pairing: Luke Alvez x Reader

Word Count: 2.8k

Warnings: reader is fighting demons (insecurities), very specific descrpitions of body image related insecurities- like the reader is literally picking herself apart in a mirror, hella praise, body worship, fingering, edging, multiple orgasms, creampie, cockwarming, pseudo voyeurism/exhibitionism (he fucks her in front of a mirror idk) I think that's everything

Genre: starts off pretty angsty, we transition to smut and end with fluff!

Summary: Insecurities can be quite rough on you but your boyfriend has no intentions of letting you go through it alone

***

You frown at your reflection as you stare at yourself in the mirror. Today has been a rough day. Nothing in particular happened. You went to work, you ran some errands, you did normal daily things, but for some reason you've been in such a weird mood and now you're stuck in a vortex, picking apart yourself apart in the fucking mirror. You really ought to go to the gym more often, or- stop snacking at night, have your pores always been so noticeable? Since when do you have so many stretch marks? You can't see your toes over your stomach- god that's embarrassing. You let out a long sigh as you bite back the tears stinging the back of your eyes. You hate this. It doesn't usually get this bad and the worst part is you know it's not real, you know you're not some hideous monster but it doesn't stop that nasty voice in your head from warping your perception some days and when that happens nothing you say to yourself changes it. But man does it suck, because most of the time you have all the confidence in the world, you've worked very hard on it. Days like this make it feel like you're still some lost little kid desperate to find your place in the world with no sense of self. You should just walk away. If you can't see yourself, you can't pick your appearance apart. But your feet feel glued to the floor, as if they can't remember how to move, as if it's the most impossible task you've ever been given.

"Alright that's enough. You'll lose your mind standing here." You tell yourself, shaking your head in hopes of getting out of this dreary mood. You finally step away from the mirror and head to your closet to put on some clothes post shower. You throw on a hoodie and some shorts and leave your room.

"Babe?!" You hear as you walk down the hall. Sounds like your boyfriend's back.

"Hey love, welcome home." You meet him by the door and he kisses you on the cheek.

"Hope you haven't made dinner yet beautiful because I brought take out." Luke tells you holding up the bag with an excited grin.

"Take out's good. You wanna shower first or dive straight in?" You ask him.

"Would you mind terribly if I showered first?"

"Not at all. Go ahead." You take the food from him and nod your head towards the bathroom.

"I'll be quick!" He kisses you once more and jogs down the hall. You set the food on the living room table and watch TV while waiting for Luke. You hope you're able to keep it together for the few hours you'll be spending with Luke before bed. Considering its a weekday, you don't have to keep the mask up for that long. True to his word, Luke is quick to return, maybe 15 minutes pass by the time he plops down next to you on the couch. "Alright! Let's eat!" He announces, opening the takeout bag. He hands you your food before digging into his own.

"How was work today?" You ask him.

"Fine, tedious. Was mostly doing paperwork today." He shrugs. "How was your day cupcake?"

"Work was work and then I ran some errands. No fun stories here unfortunately. How's everyone?"

"Well, Spencer was giving a guest lecture today so he wasn't around since we didn't have an actual case. Garcia was telling me about some woman that seems to have his attention at the uni though."

"Is Pen keeping tabs on Spencer at the college? He'll literally hate that when he finds out." You frown.

"That's what I told her but you know how she can be. Especially with how sometimes things- go wrong when we meet new people."

"I mean if she's just a coworker, Penelope's getting ahead of herself don't you think? He probably hasn't even made a move on her." You say.

"He hasn't. You're right but it's not like she can be stopped." Luke chuckles.

"Yeah I guess so." You hum.

"Alright, what's wrong, princess?" Luke frowns.

"What do you mean?"

"You've barely touched your food. Did you think I wasn't gonna notice you've only been picking at it? Do you not like it? Do you want to eat something else?"

"No it, it's fine, I just- I'm honestly not all that hungry I guess." You sigh.

"What do you mean you're not all that hungry? What've you eaten today?"

"A bagel for breakfast and a salad for lunch." You shrug. Luke checks the clock in your living room.

"Lunch was 8 hours ago, all you had was a bowl of rabbit food and you expect me to accept that you don't want to eat your favorite food? Come on, spill it baby what's going on with you?"

"Nothing's going on. I dunno I just- feel weird." You mutter, avoiding his gaze. Dating a profiler is so irritating sometimes, can't he just ignore your body language for once?

"Weird how?"

"We don't, have to do this. It's not a big deal babe." You mumble.

"You're not eating y/n it is absolutely a big deal."

"Luke-" you sigh.

"Don't 'Luke' me, what's going on?" He frowns.

"I'd really rather not discuss anything there's no need, seriously."

"Baby, don't shut me out. You can't shut me out. We're in this together, always. You've gotta tell me what's going on in your head." He caresses your cheek gently. You sigh, unable to justify holding out on him when he speaks so softly, with such care.

"I've just been having a bad mental day. Nothing's happened, but I, just feel uncomfortable in my body, and it's hard to deal with let alone talk about." You say, tears burning behind your eyes again.

"Baby," he says, concern contorting his features.

"It's fine, I'll get over it. Today's just been a rough one. It happens. Sometimes my insecurities flare up out of nowhere but that's life, I don't want you to worry." You shake your head.

"Do you know me at all princess?"

"What?"

"My baby, my darling, the love of my life, my reason for being, is stuck in her own head hating her body, the body I live to worship, the body I can't get enough of and you want me to simply 'not worry about it'? That ain't happening." He stands up.

"Luke." You grumble as he grabs your hands.

"No no no no, no complaining, up you go." He pulls you off the couch and lifts you into his arms.

"Ah! Luke what are you doing?" You ask, throwing your hands around his neck as he princess carries you down the hall.

"Well if that nasty little voice in your head wants to lie to you, I'll simply have to remind you myself of all the reasons ever inch of you is perfect." He says matter-of-factly.

"I do not like the sound of that." You tell him.

"And I don't like the sound of you feeling uncomfortable with yourself." Luke shrugs.

"Well that's not-" You stop yourself with a sigh, not even sure what your comeback would be. In your bedroom, Luke carefully lowers you to the ground in front of the mirror with your back facing him.

"I want to help you to see yourself the way that I do." He says softly. He kisses your neck lightly and gently lifts your gaze to meet his in the reflection. "Ask me how I see you." His fingers brush against your thighs as he speaks.

"How do you see me?" You whisper hesitantly. You're not sure you even want to know, but his lips against your throat and his hands on your skin are rather persuasive.

"You, mi amor, are the sun at the center of my universe, if ever I was asked to describe perfection I would simply describe you." Luke slides his hands up under your hoodie caressing your skin.

"Luke." Your brow furrows. This can't possibly be sexy for him, he's only touching your stomach to comfort you, he'd probably prefer it if-

"Relax baby." Luke whispers. You didn't even realize you'd sucked your stomach in against his touch unconsciously, as if you could hide from him your size. You slowly untense your muscles, cringing at the way you fill his large hands. "I'm going to take this off of you, is that alright baby?" He asks.

"Well," can you really handle looking at yourself again?

"You can say no if you want princess, but I need you to stay with me."

"I'm not going anywhere." You say.

"Physically maybe, but I can see your mind wandering off." He kisses your temple. "Don't go."

"You can take it off." You whisper. Luke tugs the hoodie over your head not a moment later, tossing it somewhere in the room, out of sight. He lets out a sigh as his eyes trail over your body through the reflection. You can still feel the heat of his gaze in the mirror and weirdly enough it feels undeserved. He looks at you like that all the time but, tonight you just can't understand what would make him look at you with such want.

"God, you're gorgeous." He sighs placing his hands on your hips again. Luke places kisses on your shoulder. "Your skin is so soft, I can never get enough of touching you, kissing you, holding you." He says. He slides his hands up your sides to cup your breasts. "So perfect, I love the weight of your tits in my hands." His thumbs stroke over your nipples and the light stimulation makes your breath catch in your throat. He twists and tugs at your nipples, enjoying the little whimpers you let out. "You make the prettiest noises when I touch you baby."

"Luke-" you whine, your head lolling against his shoulder.

"Uh uh, head up princess, you've gotta watch. Watch me touch you, worship you, and watch how your body reacts to me, see for yourself how captivating you look." Luke gently shrugs his shoulder to push your head forward. You force your eyes to focus back on your reflections in the mirror, the sight of his hands kneading your breasts with rough fingers toying with your nipples to create hardened peaks only serves to make you squirm more against him. He keeps at it until your breathing is heavy, then one hand slides down, pausing to rub your tummy, "You may not believe me but this, I love this. Growing up it meant you were eating well, taken care of. And I like to think I take good care of you. I want it to show." He says kissing your neck. "Plus it's excellent for cuddles." He winks with a smile that makes you giggle. "I like that sound even more than your little whimpers, but I'm about to get a lot more of those." Luke's hand continues down, pushing your shorts down enough for you to kick them off. His hand caresses your thigh.

"You're teasing." You pout.

"You look cute when you pout." He chuckles. "But I'll be nice." His voice drops as he slips two fingers between your folds. You arch you back against his touch as his digits toy with your cunt. Luke knows your body maybe better than you do and his hand makes quick work of bringing you to the edge. Your head tips back again, instinctively and his movements slow when he catches it. The sudden change drags your gaze to his in the mirror, a silent question in your eyes when you whine. "If you want to cum pretty girl you have to watch yourself do it."

"But-"

"No buts, keep your eyes open and on the mirror." He says stroking you faster now that your attention is back on your reflection. Again when you feel your orgasm creeping up your spine your head drifts back and again Luke slows his hand almost to a stop.

"No!" You cry out as your release slips away.

"I already told you princess, your eyes have to stay on your reflection." He says waiting for your breathing to calm slightly before his fingers work you again. This time, you manage to keep your head forward, but your eyes still slide closed from the pleasure. Unfortunately for you your boyfriend is very observant and closed eyes still break the rule, so his fingers slow again.

"Fffffffffffffuck me." You grit out, frustrated from his edging game.

"I'll keep doing this until you get it right mi amor. Keep your eyes open." He says beginning again. This time, you steel yourself. You don't think you can handle another denial. The signs of release return quickly with his hands on you and though your lids desperately want to close you keep them open even as they threaten roll back in bliss as you finally cum with a breathy moan. "That's it, so fucking stunning." Luke says as he strokes you through the aftershocks. Your legs are still shaking and your chest is still heaving when Luke lifts you again. "I'm not finished with you yet, but this next bit will be easier in the bathroom. So you have something to hold onto." He says carrying you into the bathroom. He sets you down facing the large mirror over the sink. "I'd do this in the bedroom but you won't be able to see yourself if I fuck you right up against the mirror." Luke says in your ear and the words send a shiver down your spine. "Place your hands on the mirror sweetheart. Let me show you how badly I crave every inch of you." He says with a hand stroking your ass. You lean forward enough for your warm hands to touch the cool glass. Your eyes follow Luke's in the mirror as they trail over your skin hungrily while he frees himself from his sweatpants. He wastes no time sinking into you with a groan and though he gave no warning you moan at the stretch of him filling you. The look on his face as he settles into your heat can only be described as euphoric and it's one you could never get tired of seeing on him. After a moment his eyes peel open again and catch yours in the reflection. He gives you a smirk before his hands tighten against your hips and he sets a rhythm that explains why you needed something to hold onto. His thrusts are harsh and deep and have moans spilling uncontrollably from your lips. Luke's eyes are locked on yours in the mirror as he fucks you. "God you're beautiful, perfect, you've got the- prettiest eyes that sparkle when you laugh, and look so good rolling back when I make you cum." He hums.

"Oh Luke." You moan part of that was sweet, part if it made your walls clench around his dick.

"You're perfectly soft for hugging or cuddling and it doesn't hurt that I have plenty to hold onto when I wanna fuck you stupid." Luke says and if he weren't currently doing just that you might've laughed at his words, but the moaning makes it hard. "If I could spend all my days wrapped in your arms, buried in your heat- you have no idea how quickly I'd do it." You can feel your cheeks heating up from his, mostly, sweet words, so contrasting from the way he's railing you. "God I love you so much." He groans.

"I- I love you too Luke, more than- more than you know." You pant out.

"Fuck I'm close." He grits out. One of his hands wraps around your waist and finds your clit. It doesn't take much, a few well focused circles of your sensitive bundle of nerves and you're shaking as your orgasm hits, your walls clamping down so tightly around Luke's dick it pulls his orgasm from him too. His hips stop flush against yours as hot spurts flood your inner walls. You practically slump against the bathroom counter as the waves of your release die down. You're not quite sure how he manages but Luke turns you around and lifts you in his arms again somehow without fully pulling out of you. He walks you both over to the bed and lays down with you on top of him, soft dick still buried in your heat. Luke lifts your head from his chest to get your attention.

"I love every part of you with all that I am." He says.

"Thank you. I love you too." You say softly.

"I know insecurities are no easy battle but, yours is a body the Greeks would build statues for. It pains me that you see yourself as less than idolized."

"I'll admit it's much harder to feel that way when you react like this."

"Well I'll just have to make a habit of it then." He kisses your forehead.

"I- can't say I'm opposed to that suggestion." You hum.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"And where we on food? Did your appetite come back any?" He asks, hand stroking soothingly down your back.

"Yeah but- I'm too tired to move." You mumble into his chest and he laughs.

"Don't worry I won't make you get up now. I'm sure after a nap your body will convince you to get up and eat, until then let's just lay here."

"Perfect that's exactly what I planned to do." You sigh as you snuggle closer to him. Maybe your insecurities will beat your ass every once in a while, but you smile knowing Luke will be there to fight them with you and that is more than enough for you.

***

[achilles-rage]

thirteen crows: chapter six

summary: your bar regulars come visit you at your house, begging you to let them in. then, you're visited by the masked men again.

word count: 2.6k

previous chapter

series masterlist

a/n: one again, you can choose who is who during the last part of the story, but i wrote it with the idea that buck is more eager to please, while eddie is sadistic hehe. and i'm so sorry, this was supposed to be longer (the smut was lol) but i sprained my wrist a couple years ago and it never fully healed, so typing is really painful sometimes, and lately it's been really bad. i'll try to make the next chapter longer if my wrist feels better though. enjoy<33

warnings: hints of smut, stalking, slight non-con (but reader likes it??? idk), no use of y/n, fem!reader, plus size!reader, race inclusive!reader

It’s been almost a week since you watched Isaac die in the alleyway. You’ve called in sick to work the entire week; you can hardly even get out of bed. While you hope and pray that you aren’t in danger as long as you play along with this fucked up game, the people around you are dying now. 

You went to take the trash out the day after Isaac died, it was late at night, and you almost bumped into a man in the dark back entryway of your building. The next day, he was found dead in his car. Stabbed to death. And you recognized him immediately when you saw the news.

You hadn’t noticed when he turned, thinking for a moment about following you, but choosing against it. But they did. They had been parked outside of your house for most of the day, just making sure their sweet girl was okay, when they saw the man. They knew what they had to do; they couldn’t risk anything happening to you. 

In reality, the man had stopped and turned because he thought he forgot his wallet in his girlfriend’s apartment, but then realized it was in his pocket, and turned back around and left the building. They weren’t aware of that, though. Clearly.

They start to get worried for you when you still haven’t left your apartment a week later. They’re almost sure you’re running out of food by now, and all you do is move from your bed, to your couch, and back to bed. 

You’re ignoring their messages and calls, too. You didn’t even laugh when you listened to Buck’s voicemail about a fight almost breaking out at the Thirteen Crows on football night. You usually love to hear drama like that. 

That’s why, eight days after they killed Isaac, Eddie shows up to your house with a smile and a box of donuts. Something to cheer you up, he says.

“Eddie, you have to go.” He’s only just able to see your face; your body completely behind the door as you open your door just far enough for you to stick your head out. His smile falters; this donut shop is your favourite.

“I heard about Isaac, and Tara says you’ve called in to work every day this week. Figure you could use some company.” he tries to reason, fighting the urge to push the door open and bully his way in. He can’t, though. He knows that.

“Thank you, but you really have to go.” you tell him. You try to be stern, but your voice comes out just above a whisper, and Eddie picks up on the edge in your voice. 

You can’t see him being killed too. You’re not sure why these men have attached themselves to you, or how the people around you are managing to piss them off, but you really don’t want to test them. And Eddie has a son, for god’s sake, you can’t risk anything happening to either of them.

“Why? Is everything okay?” he asks, feigning concern as he looks at you with his big brown eyes. You sigh, tears forming in your eyes as you tear your gaze from his and tilt your face to the floor. He’s so kind, and you want nothing more than to have his large arms wrapped around you right now, letting him calm you down, but you know you can’t.

“I don’t want you to die.” is all you say before you close the door abruptly. He hears the lock click, and he listens hard to hear your movements behind the door. When he doesn’t, he pulls out his phone, seeing that you’re still standing with your back pressed to the door, tears streaming down your cheeks and dripping off your chin. 

He huffs as he opens the phone app and hits Buck’s contact. He needs him here now. Their poor thing; they’ve scared you too much, and now they have to do something to get you back. To make you believe they can protect you.

He walks down the hall, just enough that you won’t be able to hear him before he explains what’s just happened to Buck, although he’s sure Buck had already heard most of the conversation from the camera.

Not even ten minutes later, Buck is walking into your building with food from your favourite takeout place. They both walk back to your door together, waiting impatiently for you to let them in. 

When Buck sees your tired face, riddled with sorrow, it’s hard for him to fight the urge to barge into your apartment and wrap his arms around you, but he restrains himself. He knows you have to let them in willingly.

“Please.” is all you say when you look between them, and they give you sheepish smiles.

“You’re not gonna get rid of us, sweetheart. We know you need someone. Please let us in.” Buck says, and Eddie’s brows raise just slightly, proud of the sincerity in his voice.

You hesitate as you look between them, their eyes big and hopeful. You know you shouldn’t; you’re half sure that they’re already on the masked men’s hit list already just by being here. But you feel like you’re going fucking insane. You want nothing more than to be close to someone right now, so after a few moments, you sigh and open the door further. 

They’re quick to move past you and into your apartment before you change your mind. They make themselves right at home in your kitchen, getting the food they brought ready, while you sit back down on your couch, too exhausted to follow them.

They sit the food in front of you when they come back in, then sandwich you between them on the couch. Their bodies are pressed up beside yours, but you hardly care right now, you’re just glad that someone is here. Finally.

“Now, you’re gonna eat, and then you’re gonna tell us why you think we’ll die because we’re here.” Eddie tells you sternly, although there’s a hint of softness in his voice that you cling to. 

You look down at the food and sigh. You don’t remember the last time you’ve eaten, so you take the food that Eddie holds out for you, feeling a little awkward as they watch you eat.

Buck picks up on your expression and grabs the remote to your tv, turning it on and letting the noise drown out the silence of your apartment. With one quick look to Eddie, both of them turn to watch the tv while you finish eating, continuing to steal glances at you every now and then.

When you’re finally finished, Buck takes your empty plate from you and sets it on your coffee table, then both men angle their bodies to face you once again.

You look straight ahead of you as they wait for you to start speaking, and then you let out a sob, closing your eyes as you lurch forward, holding your head in your hands.

They’re both quick to comfort you. Buck puts an arm around your shoulders and shushes you quietly, while Eddie’s hand goes to your thigh, rubbing a thumb across the skin not covered by your sleep shorts.

After ten or so minutes, you finally inhale a shaky breath, whispering a quick “okay” as you straighten up.

“Everyone around me is dying.” you say, unsure of what else you even can say. They furrow their brows in feigned confusion, both keeping their hands on you as they urge you to continue speaking.

“I just- I don’t want anything to happen to you. You shouldn’t be here.” They shake their heads adamantly, and Eddie is the first to speak.

“Hey, nothing is gonna happen to us. We can take care of ourselves.” he says sternly, and you turn to look up at him, chewing on your lip nervously. 

The rest of the story is on the tip of your tongue; threatening to spill now that your friends, your very large, very handsome friends, are beside you. You don’t though. You know the masked men will find out somehow.

“That’s what Isaac said. And look at him now.” you speak in a quiet voice. Tears are forming in your eyes again as you think of the sight of him, bloody and gasping in the alleyway, and nothing for you to do for him.

“We’re not Isaac. Nothing is going to happen to you. That’s a promise.” Buck says, and you want to believe him so bad. Your mind is so jumbled that you don’t realize the “what the fuck?” look Eddie gives Buck. You know that they can’t really promise that, but you can’t help but believe Buck’s words. You’re sure it’s just because you’re desperate for his words to be true, but either way, you can’t help but let out a big breath, feeling your shoulders deflate slightly.

“I’m not worried about me. I’m worried about you.” Both men raise a brow at your words. They both feel you’re about to tell them about everything, and they’re not sure if that’s good or bad. 

“If people around you are dying, why aren’t you worried about yourself?” Eddie asks, a slight edge in his voice that flies right over your head. 

You shake your head as you think about everything that’s happened to you the past couple weeks. Why couldn’t they have just killed you; gotten it over with, you think.

“I don’t know. I just- I don’t want to lose anyone else.” You whisper the last sentence, crossing your arms over your torso in a desperate attempt to calm your racing heart. Both men smirk at each other for a split second before their eyes are back on you. Their good girl; they knew you’d listen to them.

“We’re not going anywhere. We’re gonna help you through this, alright?” Buck speaks, and you nod slowly. You look up at him with the smallest hint of a smile, and he lets out a breath, elated to finally see that pretty smile he’s been so desperate to see for the last eight days.

“Yeah, who’s gonna kill us? We’re firefighters, and we wouldn’t go down easy.” Eddie tries to joke, and your smile widens. Buck almost moans at the sound of your soft laugh, a grin breaking onto his face as he makes eye contact with Eddie over your head. They’ve won.

You finally go back to work for your next shift two days later, a small smile on your face as you greet Tara. She explains the new people your boss has hired as you begin to work, and you almost feel normal for an hour or two as she tells you that the new guy is an absolute idiot, and the girl is super nice. You’re excited to meet them, although you’re sure the man will make you want to punch him, but you hope that he’s at least nice. 

You’re extremely happy when your regulars walk into the bar. It means that they haven’t been brutally murdered by two masked men, and you feel yourself becoming a little less anxious. Maybe the masked men have found a new target, you think, because the killings haven’t stopped, but the man that the police had found yesterday wasn’t anyone you knew.

Both men walk you home at the end of the night, vowing that they’ll protect you and themselves the whole way, and you let them. You know that if the masked men want to kill them, they’ll kill them regardless of if you let them walk you home, so you quickly agree to them coming with you.

It’s still dark when you wake up from a deep sleep, a hand clasped over your mouth and the familiar feeling of a cold blade at your neck. You stare up at the masks with wide eyes, trying to blink away the darkness as they shush your soft whimpers in low tones. 

“Hey, sweet girl. You miss us?” one purrs, both of them tilting their heads to the side as they take in your fearful expression.

“It’s okay, honey. You’ve been so good for us; haven’t told a soul, have you?” the smaller one speaks, and you nod quickly. They hear your muffled “no, no” under the firm hand over your mouth, and chuckle darkly.

“And nothing’s going to happen to you, sweet girl. As long as you don’t say a word to anyone about us. You got that, baby?” the larger one says, and you nod quickly when the knife is removed from your neck. 

You try not to think about the pool between your legs as they stare down your body. You know you shouldn’t feel this way about these men; they’ve killed two people you knew, and countless others, but you can’t stop staring at their broad shoulders and muscular arms. 

With one swift motion, the smaller man hands the knife to the other man and then yanks your panties down your legs, the smirk evident in his voice when he speaks.

“You like being our little toy, don’t you, sweet girl? You’re fucking soaked.” You hesitate, and when the larger man takes his hand off your mouth and leans down to inhale the scent of your skin, you nod once.

“Yes. yes.” you whimper, closing your eyes and shivering as the smaller man’s glove-covered fingers ghost up your inner thigh.

“Then, you know the drill, baby.” is the last thing you hear before your eyes are covered by what you’re sure is the same blindfold they used last time. 

They do the exact same thing as the last time they broke into your apartment; one man playing with your tits while the other licks and nips at your dripping cunt. 

You realize almost immediately, though, that the way they touch you is extremely different. While the man whose mouth attached itself to your clit last time was desperate and eager, the other laps at your cunt in a way that’s almost sadistic. His teeth ghost over your clit before he bites lightly, and if it wasn’t for the knife firmly placed between the valley of your breasts, you’re sure you’d be screaming and writhing away from him.

Similarly, the man whose mouth and hand are attached to your sensitive breasts seems to be relishing in your pleasure. As you fight back whimpers and moans, all you can hear is the man’s voice continuously asking “you like that, sweet girl? You want more?” 

When they finally leave, you’re once again left in complete darkness. Your legs are weak, and you can still feel the cold remnants of spit around your nipples, which is now making you shiver as it dries in the cool air.

As you drift off to sleep, all you can think about is how fucking good they just made you feel, and why they haven’t made you do anything for them. You want to believe their words; you want to believe that they won’t continue killing if you continue with their arrangement, so you find yourself doing so as your eyes flutter shut. 

You can’t help but think that this arrangement isn’t half bad. You feel extremely guilty as the miniscule thought trumps the stampede of fearful ones in your mind, but you can’t help it. If all they want is this, you sort of don’t mind giving it to them, even if it makes your heart race and your hands shake in fear.

next chapter

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[dogcircle-scans]

I'm really curious to know if you have officially dropped the manga. If so (and even if not obvs), I'd just like to thank you for so many amazing years of awesome translations. This manga may not be very popular in the west but I'm glad you kept bringing it for so many of us

Hey, sorry for just now seeing this even though this question was sent back in late November.

No, we haven't officially dropped the manga, and Idk if any group has picked up the series while I was gone. Emphasis on the "I" because our absence was not a consenting choice made by anyone else in this group. So if anyone harbors any kind of resentment, then do not direct it towards anyone but me. If we ever decide to officially drop the series, I'll make an official announcement on this blog. To be honest, I wasn't really gonna make much hubbub about a comeback and just post a chapter as if no time had passed. But, because I got this question and you were very nice about it. I'll give some insight.

- 🦙

The only reason I'm an active part of this fandom (any fandom now really) despite it being against my lurker nature and excessive anxiety issues is because I was encouraged to do so by a friend. If you know me from Discord, then you probably know that aside from running this blog, I'm leader of the scan group and owner of its server, I'm even an admin for the Natsume fan server which is its own separate thing.

I don't know if that sounds already sounds overwhelming, but just to scare you, I also proofread the scripts so the dialogue sounds natural and act as quality checker for each chapter. This means cleaning/redrawing sections of pages if the CLDR forgot or didn't meet the standard of quality I'm looking for. Similar with typesetting, I'll rearrange the text if I feel it could be done better. I'm also the main SFX person. When it comes to the scan server, outside of running and maintaining it, I also act as mod to make sure people aren't posting anything inappropriate or inoffensive + setting up bots and permissions.

When I was in High School and even during my early years of college, I could manage it cause I had the support and energy for it. Plus, my love for Natsume was scary intense. So when life got hard, I found that working on scans acted as a lifeline.

Then I had a messy fallout with the friend who prompted all of this, and things shifted. It didn't help that things in my personal life got really bad and more or less stayed that way for 2/3 years. And because of the association, and the guilt of falling behind, working on Natsume was no longer a stress-relieving activity. It became the source of my stress. I ran away because I was scared and overwhelmed. It wasn't healthy and it only made things worse, honestly.

But, I've been really hard on myself over this past year, and I finally reached the point of wanting to come back, but the guilt from being a deadbeat was still eating me alive. Then I got really sick at the start of this month, and I'm no lie, I'm still sick... but that gave me a lot of time to think and reevaluate all kinds of things. Because honestly? I miss working on scans and the collaborative aspect that I fell in love with because of Natsume.

And literally just this past Saturday/Sunday night, I sent a message to the group, apologizing for what I did and provided a similar explanation of why I did what I did. I trying it as just an explanation and not an excuse - I hope I was able to do that here too.

I told my group to give me several days before I actually start working on scans again, though, because it'll allow me to catch up with everything and figure out what needs to be done next, and it'll also give me more time to recover.

Thank you once again for being kind and understanding! I really appreciate it 🥹💚

[daylighted]

to, my loves !!

my first and foremost to this post is that i am honestly, truly, from the deepest depths of my heart, grateful for every single one of you. like literally every single person reading this. i recognize SO many of your names consistently in my notifs every time i post and it makes me JUST?? OVERJOYED? THAT PEOPLE LIKE MY STUFF ENOUGH TO KEEP COMING BACK FOR IT? like genuinely thank you???

i literally have been here ... for two to three months? idk. i have no track of time. but it's been barely any time at all, and has felt like it too, from how much fun i've been having and how welcomed i've felt !!! <3 there have been ... some downs LOL but mainly just ups! so many ups! and i cannot wait for 2025 to come so it can only get better!! <3

i'm gonna start off with the very first friend i ever made on here, @jasvtsc. kas, you are literally one of the sweetest people & silliest i've ever met in my LIFE. i was genuinely overjoyed to have had you follow me back in the first place, and then to click with you as easily as we did is something that is still so precious to me. every single interest i've had has somehow been something you like too, even if it felt so niche in my head, and that is so so lovely to me that someone exists out there that just??? gets it??? like i could just say "richard madden's little white streak" and you'd get it. that stuff doesn't just happen every day !!!

now ... my twin n my soul sister, @deansbeer & @titsout4jackles. actually two of the kindest people i've ever met and i am so lucky to be friends with them :( and to have met them :( it's gonna sound repetitive but to be followed by them, was honestly unreal to me. and again, it felt so natural talking to the both of you??? it's an honor to get to see your lovely little marriage, and to be able to call myself part of the unholy trinity. kari, i am convinced our brains are the same, from the ideas we make up together down to every little minute moment that we overthink. bree, you are literally like the big sister i've never had, and honestly never considered even wanting until i met you and couldn't imagine a time without you around.

my beloved @deansbite <3 sammy, i literally feel lucky every day to have gotten to meet you. you are one of the nicest people, and so funny, and so genuine, that it makes me want to be a better person every single day. you are so talented, and i love how your mind works, and it's an HONOR to get to be in your head for even a second. i love you so dearly & i'm so happy to get to have you around and to hold even an ounce of space in your mind. for real thank you for putting up with me and all of your kindness, it means more than you will ever ever know.

@divine-senses erica :( we have been friends since i was a baby! a little preteen i think! and that's so crazy that you have stuck around this long. you have seen many eras of me, a lot of them embarrassing, and i hope you stick around for next year too to see probably EVVEEENNN more embarrassing shit JDKFLSDJ BUT I SERIOUSLY LOVE YOU :( MY ALMOST BIRTHDAY TWIN :(

@deanswidow & @beausling my favorite lil married couple hehehe. I'M SO SORRY FOR ALL THE TIMES I ALMOST BREAK Y'ALL UP JUST BY EXISTING I SWEAR I'LL DO BETTER IN 2025 TRUST !!! jemmy, thank you for putting me in the spn sluts for real. like honestly so life changing to be invited and to meet everyone especially when i was TERRIFIED of it. it was such a welcoming experience and is still so, so lovely to be in there, and it's all because of the way you've cultivated the server. oct, you are literally just one of the funniest, loveliest people in the world. and every time i get a notif that you post something in there, it makes me genuinely so SO happy.

@aileenunfiltered <3 my little wine niece !!!! aileen, i love and adore you so much. you are SO CRAZY AND CHAOTIC and like every single impulsive thought i have in my head, and you DESPERATELY need to write more because you are SO SO GOOD.

@ultravi0lence14 & @ostaramoon. justyce and natasha !!! in my head you guys & me are like a lil trio idk why. literally so talented it's actually crazy. i love coming on and seeing you've posted something new because i know i'm going to eat it up every time. and you're both the sweetest people in the universe???? i desperately need to reach out more to you both because i love you SO much. i feel so lucky to get to call you guys my mooties and my friends !!!!

@jackleslvr ames <3 i'm so happy to have SO RECENTLY GOTTEN TO KNOW YOU??? IT ALREADY FEELS LIKE SO LONG. i also need to talk to you more in 2025, because you are literally the sweetest girl in the world, and getting to talk to you feels like SUCH an honor.

@figthoughts LITERALLLYYYY ONE OF MY TOP INSPIRATIONS ON HERE. and i think one of the first ppl i ever followed?? fig, every single thing you write makes me giddy & every time you have something to say about what i write i'm even more giddy. i am so excited to see what you cook up in the new year.

my honorable mentions <3 @depressionbarbie2023, literally comments on everything i write, which is so crazy bc there is a lot, and always has so much genuine kindness. you have been here since the beginning and i hold so much in my heart for it. @whyyouegg, my MISH :( you are so so so sweet. every time i see you comment on anything i write, it makes me smile because you are SO lovely. @angelblqde, emma you are so genuinely kind. thank you for 1) all the support and 2) just talking to me?? i've said it sm in this post but i mean it i never expected anyone to even WANT to when i started. some of my biggest inspirations, too, that for some reason deemed me worthy to follow @t3l3vangelism & @voidsuites & @eepwtf & @ohsc & @rubyvhs. like thank you??? omfg???? you guys are actually lovely, and so talented. IDK WHAT I DID TO EARN THE FOLLOW BUT REALLY THANK YOU FOR IT. @fallbhind, mae, you are such a sweetpea. thank you for having so much kindness to give, and i cannot wait to talk to you even more in 2025.

and also thanks to everyone for sticking with me throughout everything that happened in this last month LMAOOO. it was a lot !!!! and it means so much that every one of you still fucks w me PLEASEEE. i've been so sappy that now i can't take myself seriously BUT I MEAN EVERY WORD!!!! I'M SURE THERE'S PEOPLE I'M MISSING BUT I TRIED TO GET. EVERY PERSON I COULD. IF I FORGOT YOU I'M SO SORRY. PLEASE 4GIVE ME IN 2025.

i hope you all have the bestest new year in the world, and that i can play even the tiniest part in it in your lives. <3

happy new year !!!! <333

[jealousmartini]

Oh, nothing much, just a list of reasons why I am so excited to permashift to my ultimate 4d reality //better current reality//

∘₊ ✧───────────────────✧₊∘

— EXPERIENCING DESIRED SCENARIOS

I am a hardcore daydreamer just like my brother and sister shifters(you guys🫵🏾), and I can't wait to really live the silly imagines I always have in my head. Even if it's something relatively small, I will still get to live every second of them.

Idk if some of you guys will remember that one post where I mentioned Googlebox? But I'm mentioning it again🙄 because I scripted me, my love of my life, his sister who is my bff, my own girl bff and her boyfriend are part of the program teehee. I swear no one will ever understand how much of a comfort show Googlebox is to me and in general.

The idea of being on TV whilst watching TV and relaxing with my favourite people and eating my favourite food just makes me melt. It's such a core memory to me and idk I just love showing off how perfect my family is to everyone else

— FOOD

I can't wait for all the delicious food I'll get to eat. There will never be a single time where I have to eat something I don't like or don't want to ever again, because why should I have to? I'm mostly excited to have stuff like popeyes, McDonald's, seafood boils, those Korean and Japanese foods you see on mukbangs, loads of fruit bowls (I really do love fruit), basically everything meat/barbecue, pasta including ramen, and sweets too cus🧍🏿‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️

— NO UGLY CLOTHES ALLOWED

Never will there be a day or night where I will ever need to wear clothes that don't suit me or clothes I don't like. My closet is going to be full of the cutest and gorgeous late 90s and early 2000s skirts, shirts, bellbottoms, flares, jackets, oversized ts, shorts, belts, slippers, jewelry, panties and bras etc etc

— ALREADY COMPLETED WORK

In my better cr, I scripted that I am already miles ahead of everyone in college work (and best believe all my work is at distinction level) so I have all the time in the world to do what I want until the next brief; I also scripted the date of month that I will wake up in my better cr in is the 17th April last week so I will have only 3 days of college next week (because i go in on mondays, tuesdays, wendsays and Thursdays) and 4 weeks of freedom to myself. (I also scripted my teachers let me do my own art work in my free time in class, cus sometimes all a girl wants to do is draw their ocs🥺)

Edit :: 17th of may now!!

— CURRENTLY IN MY MOVING ERA

In better cr, I am kind of in the planning process of moving out of my house to my apartment penthouse with my friend group. I'm thinking of moving out at 18 or 19 years old since I'm 17 rn and I still want to explore my better cr house cus it's wayyyy better than this one. But even once I've moved out I'll probably keep visiting my old home where my mum and her husband lives because.

∘₊ ✧───────────────────✧₊∘

Overall, I am so excited to experience everything I have ever dreamed of. I know I deserve my freedom and peace, excitement, and joy. Being able to just do what I want when I want and always knowing that no matter what, everything is going to be okay.

Life is so amazing, and it's so worth living. I know I will manifest my desired reality in no time, and I know all of the stress, time, anxiety, and patience won't be for nothing. Life is mine to explore, and I can't wait to do so

@4ellieluv @livingmydreamlife5555 @theshifterbear @cocozydiaries

[thisgirlnamedblusy]

HEY CUTIE, WHAT'S UP?

IDK IF YOU'RE STILL TAKING REQUESTS, BUT I'M JUST GONNA THROW THIS OUT THERE ANYWAY!

Ok, sorry, I'll chill with the caps.

So, I was wondering if you could write a story where Donna and the reader were together for a while, but they broke up over some stupid misunderstanding. Like, classic drama, right?

After a year or two, Donna is STILL thinking about the reader (because how could she not? they were each other's soulmate). but she’s still hurt and has NO CLUE about the truth, so she tries to move on and dates another villager. NEWS FLASH: NO ONE CAN REPLACE THE READER!

So, she breaks up with Ms. “Not Even Close” and decides to go to the village and find the reader. But plot twist! The reader is still fuming because Donna didn’t believe her and wouldn’t even let her explain! Cue the drama! They have an epic argument, but eventually, the reader helps Donna see the truth, and Donna apologizes for being such a misunderstanding queen and blah blah blah.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THE REASON FOR THEIR FIGHT COULD BE, BUT THAT'S UP TO YOU POOKIE!

THANK YOUUUUUUUUU! XX

Yesss!!!! Thank you for you request!!! I hope you like it and sorry about the language mistakes!!!! :)))))

Misunderstanding

Pairing: Donna Beneviento x Fem! Reader

Warnings: Angst, jealousy, Donna being Donna, Donna's POV, fluff, happy ending as always :)

Word count: 8,353

Summary: She cheated on me, she can't deny it...

N/A: Sorry about the language mistakes!!! Requests are open!!! I love you all!!! :))

“Did you see how that stupid girl ran away? It was fun,” Angie said, pointing to the door.

Failure always seemed to be linked to my existence. Mistakes, disappointments were always part of life. Not even making an effort, trying to move on worked for me.

“Angie, I can't take it anymore,” I protested, sighing, wanting to cry, wanting to torment that girl, even though it wasn't her fault. “I don't know when I thought that… for once… I could forget…”

“Oh, not again,” the doll said, making her mocking tone force me to frown. “I told you that you were stupid, that you couldn't…”

“I know!” I shrieked, clenching my fists tightly. “Do you think I don't know? That I'm so crazy that I tried to fool myself and failed again? Save it, Angie, I have enough with my own conscience.”

I shook my head, running a hand over my forehead, looking at the door, where that girl ran away forever, the girl who tricked me, or rather, with whom I thought I had taken some steps forward.

Thinking that maybe that stupid girl would make me forget was stupid. Even if it hadn't been a twisted plan by Alcina to lift my spirits and that girl had been with me by chance, it would have been in vain.

“You're too hard on yourself, silly Donna,” Angie said, running away from my trembling body. “The only thing that's wrong with you is that you're not able to accept reality.”

“Cosa? What reality?” I asked in a tired tone, with many, many images torturing me in my head.

Normally torture is based on tormenting, on sending horrible memories to your mind, the worst of your life, going over and over again without rest, reminding you of your mistakes, your failures.

In my case it wasn't like that. The torture I was experiencing wasn't based on nightmares, on the memories of a life far from the village, from Mother Miranda. No, the torture the Black Gods had prepared for me was no longer based on my horrible face, on my screams of helplessness.

I wasn’t tormented by my nightmares, but by my best dreams. The screams, the crying and the pain didn’t resonate in my mind every day, every moment… The laughter, the words of love, the whispers, the wet sound of our kisses cutting through the silence of an early morning did.

My torture was a selfless smile, eyes shining with love, sincere words whispered every day in my ears.

She was my torture. Dreaming every morning of her warm body protecting mine from the cold, touching her to know she was still there, feeling her warmth next to mine, knowing that I could speak and not hear my own independent voice in response, but hers.

I didn’t want to forget, to tell myself over and over again that it was over forever, that it was the reason for my torment; a happy life, an exit to the light after so much darkness, a host of special sensations, incredible for someone like me who would never return.

My torment was to loved; my torment was starting to believe that even I had the right to be loved and I was. But it was all gone in an instant, with a stab in the heart, with disappointment and rage whispering in my mind, forcing me back to that comfortable solitude, one that I had grown accustomed to detaching myself from.

“You're still thinking about her,” Angie whispered, pointing at me with her finger, knowing how I thought, what I was imagining, what bright eyes were looking at me in the depths of my conscience. “Don't bother denying it, I know.”

“I don't deny it,” I hissed. “I haven't stopped thinking about her during all this time.”

“So what are you doing here wasting time with brainless maids? Do something,” Angie insisted, pushing me comically, destabilizing me.

“Angie, basta,” I said in a cold tone.

“Do you know what your problem is?” the puppet asked, when once again the idea of ​​regretting feeling contempt for the deception crossed my mind. “You're a coward, Donna…”

“Coward? She cheated on me,” I protested, crossing my arms, feeling my body tremble with memories, ones that told me, day after day, that all those images that tortured me would continue to be just that, torture.

“She cheated on me, she cheated on me,” Angie repeated mockingly, laughing at me.

Nobody laughs at me, nobody.

“Will you shut up?” I asked with irony, resting my hands on a table, with my head down.

“I don't want to shut up,” Angie protested, as expected. “You know where she is, the Duke has told us that her commissions are only for one person, so she is still single, what are you doing here wasting time when you should be begging for forgiveness?”

“Io!?” I shouted, pointing at myself. “I don't have to ask for forgiveness, I don't have to apologize, this was all her fault, è colpa sua!”

“Of course, and since it's her fault I have to put up with your complaints day and night,” Angie said, chasing me as I walked aimlessly through the mansion. “Things don't work like that, silly Donna.”

“Oh, certo. Then, according to you, I should crawl at her feet and beg for mercy for having let myself be deceived by that stupid villager, right?” I said, with anger darkening my hoarse voice, unused since she left.

“Do you expect her to come and apologize? How stupid,” the doll said, knowing that with me she could say those things, knowing that she was only a part of me, even if she insisted on believing that her thoughts were her own.

“Well yes, that's what she should have done, come here and apologize, beg for forgiveness, has she done it? No, do you know why? Because she did what she wanted, because she didn't love me,” I answered, with my throat sore from crying.

“Oh, yes, of course she has to come to the house of a powerful Lord to admit that she was cheating on her...” the doll joked, bowing her head. “Last time she managed to escape, but crazy Donna might not be so merciful this time…”

“Leave me alone,” I hissed, fed up with that stupid conversation, fed up with hearing my own thoughts in the irreverent doll.

“You're unbearable, Donna, why don't you dare to face your fears? Who knows, maybe there was an explanation for…” Angie said, thoughtfully.

“Taci!” I yelled furiously, kicking the floor. “The only explanation I had was that she was cheating on me, that she was planning to leave me forever…”

“Ha, that's what you think, but maybe…”

“Basta! I don't want to hear another word,” I protested again, holding my throbbing temples.

“That's because you know I'm right,” the doll mocked, showing no fear of my imminent crisis. “You love her, don't you?”

“I… Ugh, vai a cagare,” I said, spitting out my words, causing the puppet to gasp at my lack of respect.

“Donna!” Angie shrieked offended. “Don't talk to me like that, if mamma was here, she would have given you a well-deserved slap,” she said in a petulant tone.

“Mom's not here, dad's not here, everything that mattered to me is gone, do you understand? Everything I've had, everything that once made me happy has disappeared right under my nose, my parents, Claudia, (Y/N)…” I said, lowering my tone little by little, tormented again by my memories. “Don't you see? All the people I've loved are gone, they've abandoned me, they've cheated on me…”

“Well, there's no solution for that,” the doll commented, climbing onto the table so she could look me in the face. “But, (Y/N)… you haven't lost her yet, she's still alive, right?”

“Angie, I…” I sighed, letting myself fall into a chair, with my hands covering my gruesome face. “Nothing could repair the damage she did to me.”

“Your brain is the one that can't be repaired,” Angie mocked, making me want to turn her off forever. “Come on, Donna… I miss her…”

“And so do I,” I said without thinking, with all the sincerity I could manage. “She was everything to me.”

“Then stop complaining and go to the village, talk to her,” she insisted, rubbing my back in a surprisingly comforting way. “If you don't, you'll lose her forever.”

I couldn't say why it made me think, why the idea of ​​crawling in front of her started to sound good in my head. My memory made me live again those two wonderful years with her. It made me feel all those new emotions again, almost as if I had gone back in time.

(Y/N) was a simple villager, or so she liked to say. She was a villager, but she wasn't simple at all.

I met her by chance, my eye fell on her at one of Mother Miranda's masses. Like a spell, a charm that I myself wasn't prepared for, I couldn't stop from doing it. She was beautiful. Her smile was almost as addictive as her voice, like that joy I could feel on her face.

It wasn't very common to see a sincere smile in a place like this. Everything, the Gods, Mother Miranda, my siblings, even I exerted a strong darkness on all the villagers. I never asked Miranda for a second chance, I never asked her for eternal life, I was just wrong.

I was always isolated. I always liked the solitude that my parents had left me as an inheritance. I had nothing, I wanted nothing. I just wanted her back. I wanted my little Claudia back. She was the only one who didn't see me as a monster, who didn't care about the scar on my eye, the only one who was still with me after our parents lost their minds. Claudia was the only thing I wanted.

Instead, I gained undeserved immortality, powers far beyond my understanding. I became a Lords, a monster, without feelings, who would guard the village.

Miranda's trust was meaningless. I was never right in the head, I never spoke. I only knew how to make one thing: dolls. But that was more than enough to stop me from crying, to stop me wishing my sister would come back to me.

I had gained the ability to take revenge for that tormented childhood, the ability to punish all those who laughed at me.

Solitude began to be comfortable. My face stopped being flawed and became horrifying. It didn't matter how many times my heart beat desperately, screaming at me to end that isolation. I had become a ghost, a feared woman, the doll maker: Donna Beneviento.

I began to forget to ask questions, to want someone to share my existence with. Angie came to life, and became my only company. I believed that I was finally where I should be, that I had obtained a deserved reward for all my misfortunes.

I stopped being interested in love, I stopped discreetly looking at the girls in the village to give more importance to everything that Miranda ordered me to do. I didn’t lose hope, because I never had any.

Still, (Y/N) appeared, rekindling desires from adolescence, making me wonder again what it felt like to be loved.

When my lips touched hers, I knew. I saw in her eyes a sincere love, admiration mixed with desire in her gaze, one that ignored my scar. (Y/N) looked at me without fear, without disgust, she looked at me as I had imagined so many times.

I freed myself from my chains, from my fears. I let my heart explore those new feelings. Loving, feeling, kissing, making love… Everything was new to me.

She was a wonderful girl, attentive, affectionate and terribly intelligent. Her beauty was just a detail, another gift from the Gods for an unhappy and sick woman like me. She put up with me, she relieved me when the voices in my head tormented me, she understood me, she loved me… At least that's what I thought.

Two years with (Y/N) seemed enough to calm my insecurities, the nightmares that haunted me in my dreams, which disappeared with her hugs, with her whispers, with words that had long since ceased to be just words.

“Everything will be fine, Donna, everything is fine… I love you…”

Her consolations were a balm even more addictive than her kisses. Her patience, her desire to discover that terrifying lady in black were sincere.

No matter how hard I try, I’m unable to forget that night, that terrible night in which reality made me see that I never deserved it, that this gift from the Gods had been temporary, and I would have to pay the consequences.

“You're back,” I sighed, letting her lips kiss me.

(Y/N) had a life in the village and I had no right to monopolize it, although I confess that I would have liked to.

“Of course I'm back,” she said in a soft voice while I gave her a romantic spin in the air.

Seeing her appear through the door was the best feeling, dispelling my fears, thinking that she would always come back. I was just stupid.

“You're just in time for dinner,” I said amused, letting my gestures be involuntary, devouring her with small kisses while (Y/N) pretended to protest. “Tutto bene?”

“Um, as always,” she said, relaxing her expression, something that worried me. “You know, commoner things.”

“Commoner? You're not a commoner, tesoro, you're my princess…” I whispered romantically, fed up with that wonderful girl being unable to see herself the way I did.

“Oh,” she said, looking away with that same blush while I, chivalrously, picked her up in my arms. “Hey, put me down.”

 I laughed amused, kissing her one last time and obeying her request, lowering her to the floor.

“I’ve missed you,” I said, brushing her hair away from her beauty, not letting anything get between her gaze and mine. “But you’re here now…”

“I’ve only been gone for an hour, it’s not that bad,” (Y/N) said, laughing too, stealing a tender kiss from me before slowly moving away. “Well, I better take a shower. I want to be perfect for you.”

“Yes, um… can I go with you?” I asked innocently, following her with my gaze as she walked towards the hallway. “I really want to hug you under the water.”

“Mm…” she moaned, looking at me with desire, biting her lip. “Yes, well, but, but this time, I prefer to do it alone.”

Something inside me told me that this rejection wasn’t a coincidence, but I didn’t give it any importance, I just insisted.

“Why? Are you feeling sick?” I asked worriedly.

She never used to reject that kind of things. I should have realized it sooner.

“What? Oh, no, no Donna, it's just that... well, for once I feel like taking a shower alone,” explained (Y/N), with an innocent look that had the word lie drawn on it.

I nodded distrustfully, but always respecting her decisions, noticing a strange movement she made, one that seemed to check something in her pocket.

“Relax, my love, I'll be back soon, why don't you come down with me and decide what culinary delight you're going to prepare?” the girl suggested, as if wanting to avoid my inquisitive gaze, taking her hand out of her pocket.

“Oh, va bene,” I murmured with a frown as she smiled again, a forced smile.

“Don't miss me so much, my love...” (Y/N) whispered, caressing my cheek and kissing me slowly, causing a stream of cold air to flow freely between us as she separated from me.

“I can't help it,” I said with a smile but without missing the expressions on her face, the subtle trembling of her hands. “Take a shower. I'll prepare a delicious dinner for you.”

“Great,” she said, definitely moving away and walking towards the hallway, letting my gaze follow her until it couldn't do so anymore.

“Donna, Donna...” a shrill voice brought me out of my enthrallment, Angie.

The doll climbed up my body without permission, approaching my ear.

“Don't you notice something strange?” the puppet asked with a discreet whisper.

“What? No, why do you say that?” I asked, frowning and looking towards the hallway. “She seemed tired.”

“Yes, yes... tired,” Angie sighed, shaking her head. “Are you blind? The fool was hiding something.”

“Don't call her that,” I complained, lowering the doll to the floor, without taking my eye off the hallway. “I've told you a thousand times that she's not a fool.”

“Oh, yes, you're the fool,” the puppet said, crossing her arms in disinterest. “Have you seen what she had in her pocket?”

“No,” I said, looking down with the shadow of doubt beginning to cover me. “In her pocket?”

“I've seen it, I see everything,” Angie murmured, unintentionally, making me think.

“W-Well, so what if she had something in her pocket? Are you ever going to stop distrusting her?” I protested, blinking erratically.

“You distrust her, don't try to pretend, I know you,” Angie said, pointing at me unpleasantly.

“No, I don't...”  I sighed, clearing my throat. “Hey, stop... putting ideas in my head.”

“Whatever, silly Donna, let yourself be fooled,” she said mockingly, pointing with her head towards the hallway. “I'm telling you that the silly... I mean (Y/N) is hiding something.”

“And I'm telling you that she's not,” I insisted, trying to fight my jealousy, that distrust that Angie always made me see she had.

I couldn't help it. I couldn't help thinking that one day... I would lose her.

“Find out for yourself,” Angie said, pointing back to the hallway. “Do you want know what’s going to happen if you ask her to shower with you?”

“What? I-I don't understand you...”

“It's clear, silly Donna, (Y/N) was hiding something in her pocket, she's probably already hidden it so she shouldn't have any problem with you joining her,” the doll speculated, making me doubt again.

“Okay, I'll do it so you can see that you're wrong,” I finally said, walking towards the elevator.

The doubt would always torment me mercilessly. Even without Angie, I knew myself that I couldn't fight it. (Y/N) hated my jealousy and I really tried to hide it. But sometimes, especially when she left me, even for a while, it came back to my mind, to stalk me, to increase my madness.

“Oh, Donna,” (Y/N) said, already in the shower, looking at me with an elegant smile. “Do you want something?”

“No, I… are you sure you don't want me to accompany you?” I asked unintentionally, not wanting to listen to Angie, but doing so, letting my jealousy lead me to listen to that unbearable part of my conscience

“Well, now that you mention it, I could use some company,” she whispered, poking her head and making a gesture with her finger. “Get undressed and come here, my love.”

I would have preferred a rejection, an excuse, something that would have made me go back to the kitchen. But Angie was right. She said the same thing would happen, that, somehow (Y/N) was herself again and she had gotten rid of something she was hiding.

“O-On second thought, I'd rather make dinner,” I said in a dark voice.

(Y/N) shrugged, not surprised by my sudden changes of mind. After all, she was already used to dealing with my sick mind, tothe point of making me believe that she could be manipulating me.

“As you wish, my love, I won't be long,” she whispered, putting her head back in the shower while I slowly closed the door.

“I told you!” Angie shrieked, who was, of course, listening.

I shook my head with an angry growl.

“Angie, stop... giving me reasons to worry,” I hissed, walking towards the kitchen, trying to forget, to not dwell on that stupidity.

“I only make you realize,” said the doll, chasing me relentlessly down the hall. “Why don't you take a look in the room? I'm sure she's hidden it there.”

“She hasn't hidden anything, she's not hiding anything, do you understand? Lasciami estare,” I protested as I walked.

“Oh, but you do think so. You're walking towards the bedroom, Donna,” the doll mocked when I realized she was right, that my path had altered towards the dark room.

“Yes, so that... so you see that you're wrong,” I said, turning on the light and walking around the bed. “See? There's nothing here.”

“Of course there's nothing, do you think she's stupid?” Angie said, searching under the sheets, in the dresser, searching the room, next to me. “Look in her nightstand.”

“I'm not going to look in her nightstand, it's her stuff,” I said, shaking my head, glancing at the piece of furniture, which, mysteriously, had the drawer half open.

“Her stuff are yours, silly Donna, or so it should be,” Angie said as I walked slowly towards the drawer.

“No... that's not right. (Y/N) doesn't like me to think that way, she likes to have her own room,” I murmured, thinking for a second about opening the drawer, but closing it immediately. “You do nothing but torture me, Angie, behave or else...”

“You torture yourself, what does it cost you to open that damn drawer and get rid of your doubts? She doesn't have to find out,” Angie insinuated in a sing-song voice, pointing at the drawer.

I, furious, but wanting to appear firm, refused for a moment, but I couldn't bear the pressure. With a strong pull, I opened the drawer again, taking a look inside.

“You see? There's nothing...” I said triumphantly, but my smile faded when I noticed something strange, a small box that before, I was sure, wasn't there. “There's... nothing.”

“What is that?”

“Non lo so…” I murmured, gathering my courage and taking the small box, opening it to discover something that at first, almost made me cry with joy.

Inside the small box was a ring, a shiny ring. My heart was beating hard and I sat up in bed while Angie watched over my shoulder.

“A-Angie, this is…” I stammered, unable to control my excitement. “Gods, Angie…”

“Oh…” the doll sighed, jumping up and down on the bed. “Wedding, wedding, wedding…”

“(Y/N), tesoro…” I said excitedly, covering my mouth with my hands. “Amore mio…”

“See? It doesn't hurt to clear up doubts,” the doll said, holding me by the shoulders.

“Come on, let's put it away, surely (Y/N) wants this to be a surprise.”

“Yes, yes,” the doll repeated as I closed the box. “Wait, what is that?”

“Mm?” I murmured, looking where the doll was pointing, at a small, unsealed envelope, which contained a letter, a letter I should never have read. “Oh, (Y/N),” I sighed, thinking it would be a declaration of love, the fruit of a constant rehearsal that would surely explain so many times she left the house.

My love, I can't live like this anymore, my life becomes a torment when you're not by my side. I know she would never allow it, that I have to lie to her.

I thought I was braver. Day and night I think about you, about our forbidden encounters. I only have one way to show you that you are the place I want to be, that she can't stop me from loving you and that she never will again. I count the hours until you give me an answer, so that we can end our forbidden love and finally be what we really want. Marry me, let's run away from the darkness.

I love you, Ivana

My hands shook holding the note, my mind was confused, reading over and over those words that I didn't know how to interpret. My name wasn't there. There was nothing that indicated that this note was for me, because it wasn't.

“Donna, what...?” Angie asked, surely seeing me turn pale, seeing how the emotion disappeared from my face, seeing how my eye began to shine in a different way.

She was cheating on me, she had declared her love to a girl I didn't know, to someone else who wasn't me. My rational thought didn't matter at that moment. I could only imagine horrible visions of my girl in the arms of another woman, in night escapades far from me, in a hidden love, surely because of the fear she really had of me.

(Y/N) never loved me, she only pretended to do so in order to have the opportunity to escape, to live that forbidden love she had, that real love.

I wasn't furious, just paralyzed. My chest was slowly tearing as a scream crossed my heart, breaking it into a thousand pieces.

“Wow, the shower was amazing,” (Y/N) said, entering the room, still not knowing that I was there, that I had discovered her secret. “Oh, Donna, what...?”

I didn't look at her, as my breathing suddenly accelerated, as did her, seeing me with the ring and the note, she sighed with a look of terror.

“Hey! What are you doing with that?” she asked with a frown, snatching the ring from me. “Have you been rummaging through my stuff again?”

I shook my head, clenching my teeth and getting out of bed.

“You dare to accuse me?” I hissed as she put away the box and the note, with an annoyed look that made me react. “How dare you?”

“Donna, how many times have I told you not to spy on me?” she asked smugly, crossing her arms.

“You have the nerve to demand me, (Y/N)…” I hissed, approaching her, making her back off. “Don't bother pretending, I know everything.”

“What? What do you know?” she asked, holding my gaze in an almost masterful way. “That's not for you.”

“I know it's not for me!” I shrieked, letting out my rage. “You're a bitch, (Y/N), how dare you to cheat on me?”

“Donna, stop insulting me,” she said calm, too calm. “You're misinterpreting things again.”

“A ring and a love note to a certain Ivana,” I repeated with a nervous laugh. “How can you misinterpret that? You've been cheating on me… for how long?”

“The letter and the ring aren't mine, they're from a friend who…”

“Now you're lying to me?! Do you think I'm stupid!? That you can fool me!?” I shouted, echoing off the walls, cornering my girlfriend against a wall. “You've fooled me!”

“Donna, that's enough!” said (Y/N), shaking her head. “Stop talking nonsense and listen to me…”

“I don't want to listen to you! This time you're not going to take me for a fool, not like other times,” I growled, hitting the wall right next to her head. “It has your handwriting on it… it's your fucking handwriting, (Y/N)… What are you thinking? That I'm so crazy that I wouldn't notice?”

“Okay…” she sighed, making a calming gesture with her hands. “Okay, Donna, relax, there's an explanation for everything.”

“An explanation?” I asked, arching an eyebrow, shaking my head. “Of course there is, tesoro… sei una troia! You've been dating a girl on the sly! You're going to leave me for her! You were waiting for the moment, weren't you? When I wasn't aware, you'd disappear…”

“No, no honey, listen to me, you're really nervous,” (Y/N) said, putting a hand on my shoulder, one that I pushed away with a furious gasp. “Donna…”

“Don't tell me to calm down… don't you dare!” I screamed, mixing anger with tears, with the worst disappointment of my life. “I was stupid for believing that you really loved me, for believing that you didn't care about my appearance… what is she like? She's beautiful, isn't she? She doesn't have this disgusting thing on her face,” I said, pointing at my scar.

“Donna, for Gods' sake, let me explain... it's not what you think,” (Y/N) insisted, mocking me, laughing in my face. “My love, I love you, it has nothing to do with you, I have a friend who...”

“It's your fucking handwriting...” I growled, clenching my fists, holding back the urge to hurt her.

“Yes, well it's my handwriting, but Viktor has a terrible one and that's why he asked me to...” she said, increasingly nervous, scared, fearing me.

“Taci! Chiudi quella Cazzo di bocca!” I shrieked, making her back off again. “You're good at pretending, really, I really thought you loved me...”

“Donna, I love you,” the girl sighed, with tears in her eyes. “If you'd let me explain... it's all a misunderstanding.”

“I don't want to listen to you! Misunderstanding? Don't be stupid,” I hissed, with the same nervous laugh. “Misunderstanding was believing that you loved me, that you were different. But no, you're like everyone else, a cowardly rat who doesn't even dare to tell me that she's in love with someone else... Why, (Y/N)? Am I scary to you, is that it? Are you afraid that I'll kill you if I find out that you're with someone else?”

“L-Listen to me Donna, I know that I can't do anything to make you stop acting like a jealous little girl, but this time, honey, you're wrong,” she said, frowning, with an arrogance that almost made me lose my mind even more.

“Of course I'm wrong, I was wrong about you, (Y/N),” I whispered, moving away from her, passing a hand over my forehead, my whole body shaking, my heart breaking into pieces.

“You're not thinking clearly, honey, it's not you…” she sighed, trying to caress my cheek, a gesture that I avoided by slapping her hand. “Donna, please calm down, I'll bring you your medication so I can explain to you that…”

“Yes, now you intend to drug me, right? To run away with your lover and marry her… You should marry me!” I yelled, pushing her furiously.

“Donna, my love… come to your senses, please… it's not what you think,” she insisted, making me roar with rage and shake my head.

“Get out, (Y/N), get out of my house,” I growled, pointing at the door.

“What? No,” (Y/N) said, with a sad look, tears running down her cheeks. “I'm not going to leave. I want to be with you…”

“Don't touch me!” I screamed after another attempt by (Y/N) to get closer. “I don't want to even think about how many girls you've fucked while you were with me, while you said you loved me… You're a whore…”

(Y/N) gasped with a sob, succumbing to the pressure and giving me a loud slap that made my face spin.

“Gods, I'm sorry…” she said seconds later, while I calmed the itch of my wounded skin with a hand on my cheek. “Donna, forgive me, it's just that… it's that you won't let me explain to you that…”

“Fuori,” I whispered without looking at her face.

“Donna…”

“Get out! Get out! Get out of my house! Don't you dare come back, you bitch! Porca puttana! Ti odio, ti odio, ti odio, ti odio! Get out, get out of my house! Get out, get out, get out!”

“Donna…” she sobbed, shaking her head. “My love…”

“Go away…” I whispered, still trembling, approaching her and giving her a nasty push that almost made her stumble. “Get out! Go away or… or… or I'll kill you!”

She left. She left me that night, she fled from my ferocity, from my madness, she fulfilled my suspicions, and she abandoned me forever.

The rage calmed down with the sudden loneliness, with the cold of her absence. She returned for a moment to collect the evidence of her infidelity, she cried, but she didn't say anything. I didn't say anything, but I didn't cry.

It wasn't until some time had passed that I was unable to calculate that reality fell heavily on my shoulders, forcing me to fall to the floor, to scream, to cry, to break things, to shout her name over and over again.

The only thing that mattered to me, the only thing that made eternal life worth living was gone, she had cheated on me. I lamented, I protested, I cried out to the Gods to stop mocking me, but I didn't succeed.

My penance wasn’t discovering her deception, but the loneliness she left behind. She obeyed me, she didn't come back; she never came back.

The passage of time stopped making sense to me, I locked myself in even more, but I couldn't do it the way I wanted to. My hands were clumsy, unintentionally creating her favorite foods, sculpting her face on my dolls as a silent appeal to my feelings.

Yes, she would have left anyway, but at least she would pretend to love me a little more, just a little more. My life became black, dark and even more miserable. Every night I dreamed she was still with me, that her body warmed the cold of my heart, none of that had happened, but they were just lies, dreams.

Even if she didn't love me, I couldn't help but love her with all my soul, love the ghost of what was once our love. My misfortune fell on my body, on my mind. The episodes of madness became persistent, without being able to stop them, because she was no longer with me.

I spent too much time like that, so much so that it took me a while to realize that a year, 365 days, 12 months had passed without (Y/N) by my side. I cried, I screamed, I broke everything within my reach. The days were torture, the nights were even worse.

One day, someone came to see me. It wasn't her, but a young maid from the castle. According to my sister Alcina, I was even worrying Mother Miranda. Her name was Rebecca and she was... well, she was beautiful.

Little by little, those visits began to be frequent and my head made me think, it made me believe for a moment that the girl began to replace (Y/N) in my dreams. She didn't run away from me either, she wasn't afraid of me, she just stayed with me, listening to my crying.

Little by little, I began a deeper journey into my madness, trying to hold on to the idea of ​​finding in her some resemblance to (Y/N) so that I could start wanting to feel something for her. My absurd plan didn't work. That Rebecca was stupid. She didn't like to read, she didn't find my dolls fascinating.

No, she wasn't (Y/N). I don't know why I insisted on pretending that she could love me.

“My lady, you must cheer up,” the maid said, seeing that my curiosity began to wane, that I realized she wasn't (Y/N), that (Y/N) couldn't be replaced by a girl as stupid as her.

“Mm” A dry murmur was my answer, while her hand wandered through mine, without her caresses being reciprocated.

“Come on... I'm sure I can do something for you,” Rebecca insisted, looking for my gaze behind the black veil. “Come... let me help you...”

She came too close, but I didn't pay attention to her. That stupid girl always took much more than she should and her shy approaches were increasingly risky and shameless. Her hand began to wander over my leg, sneaking under my dress. I knew what she wanted, but I didn't care.

“Like this, my lady? Do you like this?” she asked while caressing me, while her hand ran over my shame without feeling any qualms or desire to stop.

I didn't say anything, I simply closed my eye. Maybe some lust wouldn't be so bad for me, maybe I could remember those nights of passion with (Y/N), imagine that it was her who touched me... I was never sane, but my madness had reached dangerous limits.

I didn't enjoy those caresses, I didn't feel anything. I didn't want to feel anything. Fortunately, the sound of the phone interrupted her intrusion, interrupted that deception she was playing on my poor heart.

“Oh, it must be Alcina,” she said, moving her hand away with a seductive smile, disappearing down the hall.

My sister's calls were common and I never gave them any importance, surely she wanted to make sure that her maid hadn't suffered my wrath.

“That stupid girl... why is she talking with Alcina again?” Angie commented, appearing by surprise.

“I don't know,” I answered indifferently, with a tired sigh.

“Aren't you curious?” the doll asked, pointing at the living room phone, which had stopped ringing. “Come on, Donna, you threw (Y/N) out for much less…”

“Don't mention her name,” I said furiously, getting up from the sofa and walking towards the phone. “Cazzo…”

“Have you done your job, Rebecca? My patience is wearing thin,” my sister's voice reached my ear as I spied on the conversation.

“No, my lady, I'm afraid your sister won't listen to reason, although today I almost got her,” the maid answered, making me frown. “It won't be long before she gets carried away, I'm irresistible.”

“Oh, I already know that… I'm convinced that Donna won't be long before she succumbs to your charms,” Alcina answered, with a smug laugh. “She needs to get better, to feel loved, you understand? And what better way to do so than some sex with a beautiful maid like you…”

I should have assumed that girl would never notice me of her own free will. Angie was right; I'm blind, completely blind. My lack of experience dealing with my feelings had made me fail twice, but it wouldn't a third time.

“Yes, my lady, I look forward to my compensation, my lady,” the girl said, hanging up the phone while I did the same.

I should never have bothered to listen to that stupid woman. I could never fall in love again. I never had the right to. A horrible eternity awaited me without her, without (Y/N), my soulmate, the only one I ever loved, and the only one I would always love.

“Well, excuse the interruption,” the maid said, returning to the living room, where I was waiting for her, ready to get rid of her false devotion. “What is it that…? Ah, help!” she suddenly shrieked, at the same time I raised my hand to make her suffer.

“Get out…” I hissed, guiding her torture, making her run away from her worst fears.

“No, no! Leave me alone!” she shrieked, running terrified out the door.

Rebecca left and my twisted mind couldn't help but rejoice. If I had to live with that memory, with (Y/N) only in my dreams, so be it.

And so, I got to where I was at that moment, rethinking the doll's words, ones that, after remembering how I had gotten to that situation, reverberated in my head.

“If you don't do anything, you'll lose her forever...”

“Oh, cazzo,” I growled, getting up from the chair and looking for my black veil, covering my face again before doing something that I really didn't want to do.

“Where are you going, silly Donna? Are you going to listen to your friend Angie?” the doll mocked, with an amused smile.

“Shut up... I'm going... I'm going to get some air,” I lied, walking out the door while the doll's laughter penetrated my ears.

Of course I knew where (Y/N) had gone, what was going on in her life. The Duke provided me with the information I needed, and the guilty pleasure of knowing that stupid Ivana didn't take her heart. She surely betrayed (Y/N), like (Y/N) did with me.

I walked with a fixed course, avoiding the terrified eyes, the curious whispers of the villagers. I had a clear objective, but with my steps it was blurred until I reached the cabin, that secluded corner where (Y/N) had lived for a damn year.

“I shouldn't have left Angie at home,” I muttered, hesitating whether to knock on the door or not, looking around, searching for an answer, something to say.

(Y/N) opened the door before I could knock and her expression, her beauty left me speechless. Her eyebrows arched and her mouth slowly opened, as if she had seen what I am, a ghost.

“Donna,” she said dryly, shaking her head and crossing her arms. “What are you doing here? How do you know where I live?”

I couldn't answer, I simply shrugged. Luckily, my expressions were hidden under the black veil. She couldn't see how my eye sparkled when I saw her again.

“Uh, I guess I underestimated you,” (Y/N) whispered, leaning over the door frame. “What do you want? I'm busy.”

Hearing those hurtful words, I turned around, nodding slowly, confirming that it had been a bad idea to go to that place, to meet my memories again.

“Oh, wait, wait,” she said, taking several steps towards me. “Um... I'm not really busy, maybe you'd like some tea,” she offered with a distrustful look.

“Va bene,” I whispered, nodding and turning on my heels, entering the small cabin under her watchful gaze.

“Sit down,” (Y/N) said, pointing to a small sofa.

I obeyed as I looked at her new life, that cold and pitiful cabin.

Why did you have to deceive me, (Y/N)? Why did you have to do it?

“Here you are,” she said after a moment of waiting, sitting far, far away from me.

“Grazie,” I whispered, slowly taking the cup.

“What have you come for?” the girl asked abruptly, hardening her expression. “I haven't heard from you for a whole year, and suddenly you show up at my house for tea, what are you up to?”

I could hear the resentment, the rage, the hatred in her voice. That should have been reason enough to leave forever, but I didn't, I couldn't do it.

“Have you come to apologize?” (Y/N) asked cockily, something that made me tremble, remembering those horrible moments.

“No, I came for you to apologize,” I said furiously, shaking my head. “I have nothing to apologize for, (Y/N), you cheated on me.”

“Oh, straight to the point...” she sighed. “What audacity, Donna, you show up at my house after having thrown me out of yours to tell me to apologize… Do you really think about what you do?”

“You cheated on me, you are the one who has to apologize,” I said, pointing at her with my finger, trembling.

“I never cheated on you! Damn it… a whole year and you are not able to understand it, right? I never cheated on you, it was just a product of your fucking jealousy and paranoia,” she protested, getting to my level.

“Are you still denying it after all this time? I think it wasn’t a good idea to come, (Y/N),” I said calmly, holding back my desire to scream. “How can you continue denying the evidence?”

“I will deny it until I die, Donna, because it's a lie. I never cheated on you, I was always loyal to you, but you didn't listen to me,” (Y/N) hissed, gaining courage to face me. “You never let me give you an explanation!”

“There is no explanation,” I said, approaching her slowly, this time, without her backing away, losing the fear. “The ring and the letter were for your whore.”

She laughed, shaking her head and crossing her arms, biting her tongue.

“It wasn't mine!” she shrieked, clenching her fists tightly. “That letter, that ring weren't mine, it wasn't for my lover, don't you understand? My friend Viktor wanted to confess to his girlfriend and asked me to hide them at home because his mother was always against his relationship with Ivana, I did him a favor, I wrote the letter because his handwriting was intelligible…”

“Mm,” I muttered ignoring her pathetic defense. “That's the best thing you've come up with in a whole year? I thought you were smarter, (Y/N).”

“I see you haven't changed at all, you're still… The same jealous crazy woman as always!” she shrieked pointing her finger at my chest. “You know what? Don't believe me, I don't care. You were always the same, Donna, jealous, impulsive… Well, you know what? Fuck you…”

“I wouldn't be jealous if you didn't give me reasons to be!” I shouted, grabbing her arm tightly. “You cheated on me!”

“I never cheated on you! I could never do something like that because I loved you, Donna, I love you!” she shrieked, breaking free from my grip. “But I'm not going to keep wasting my time to make you understand, I have, I have to learn to live without you…”

“Are you playing the victim? Do you know what I've been through all this time?” I accused, chasing her through the house.

“Do you know what I've been through? No, you don't, you only think about yourself,” she whispered.

“Bugiarda,” I said, running out of answers that didn't seem childish.

“Ugh, you're…” (Y/N) growled, clenching her hands, kicking the floor, interrupted by some strange knocks on the door. “Shit.”

“Oh, is she your lover?” I asked sarcastically.

“I'll tell you so you understand: vaffanculo,” (Y/N) hissed, pushing me with her shoulder before opening the door.

“Fanculo a te!” I shrieked, furious.

“Oh, Ivana…” she sighed, mentioning a name that set off my alarms again.

“(Y/N), it seems I'm coming at a bad time so…” that girl said, looking at me scared and turning around.

She couldn't run away, (Y/N) grabbed her arm tightly, dragging her close to me.

“No, no, no, no, no, no, come here, come closer,” (Y/N) said, putting that slut in front of me and taking her arm, stretching it out. “Look, Donna, do you see this? Does it sound familiar?”

I looked reluctantly, discovering on one of her fingers a shiny ring, identical to the one I found that night.

“M-My ring? Oh yes, Viktor must have saved up a lot to buy it,” Ivana commented, visibly terrified. “Do you like it, Lady Beneviento?”

“Oh, yes, you love it, don't you, Donna?” (Y/N) mocked.

I blinked, with different thoughts crossing my head. Everything matched, the girl's name, the boy's name, a wedding ring on her other hand... The truth fell on me like a bucket of cold water. No, she never lied to me, she never cheated on me.

It was all my fault.

“W-Well, I just came to tell you that Vik and I are having a child and I wanted to celebrate it with the person who made it possible, but I'll come back another time, okay?” Ivana said, comically fleeing from my presence, stumbling along the way.

“Yes, go, oh, and congratulations,” (Y/N) said, closing the door and letting an angry sigh escape from her lips. “You, leave too.”

“Wait, (Y/N),” I said, approaching slowly, letting a tear roll down my cheek. “Is that true? Were you telling me the truth?”

“Donna, I've never lied to you,” she said, crossing her arms, holding back a sob.

“Why didn't you tell me?” I asked in a small voice.

“Because I know how you get, Donna. Fuck, you didn’t even let me explain it to you, you kicked me out of your house without giving me the right to defend myself,” she whispered, a little calmer. “You were always the same, honey, you always doubted me and I…”

“(Y/N),” I said, kneeling on the floor, pushing the black veil away from my face, begging for mercy. “Please, I beg you to forgive me… it was a misunderstanding and…”

“A misunderstanding? It’s always a misunderstanding, Donna, you were always the same, always your… fucking jealousy… You don’t know how much it hurt me to think that you thought I had cheated on you, that you didn’t know how much I loved you, how much… I love you…”

“I’m sorry,” I murmured, lowering my head. “Gods, I'm so sorry... I just, I was scared of losing you and... (Y/N), I haven't stopped thinking about you all this time, I...”

“Me neither, but I'm tired, Donna, tired of your doubts, of your jealousy. I'd love to forgive you and continue as always, but I can't do it,” she said, pulling away and shaking her head, wiping away her tears. “Leave, Donna, please.”

She was right, I was stupid and I lost her because of me. I could have screamed, begged for forgiveness, but I saw the pain in her eyes, she could never forgive me, because I behaved like, like a monster.

I just nodded, getting up from the floor and covering my shattered face with the veil, walking towards the door.

“Gods, come here…” (Y/N) whispered, turning me around, pushing aside my veil and kissing me deeply on the lips, leaving me stuck to the ground, unable to react. “Donna, why do you have to make everything so difficult?”

“(Y/N), I…” I murmured, letting myself be carried away by the pleasure of her kisses, of that reunion that I had dreamed of so much. “I'm sorry, I'm sorry for being a sick and jealous woman who is not capable of… of loving.”

“No, no darling…” she sighed, cupping my face in her hands. “I know you can love, I really do, but it's just… Oh, my love… if only you knew how much I've missed you…”

“G-Give me another chance, I beg you, I promise I'll never doubt you again,” I pleaded, squeezing her hands tightly, making her hiss in pain. “Per favore…”

“I would like to believe you, Donna…” she whispered, freeing herself from my grip and caressing my cheek. “But… it's going to be hard for me to do so, you'll have to earn it, do you hear me?”

“What?” I asked startled, blinking in confusion. “So…? Will you come back to me?”

“Yes, my love, I could never be with anyone else but you, you're the love of my life, my soulmate… Together we'll overcome those stupid things you have in your head. I'm sure we will…” she said, kissing me again. “No more misunderstandings, okay?”

“Okay, (Y/N)…”

[savannahsdeath]

TEACHER!ELLIE WILLIAMS X STUDENT!READER

PART 1ONE

part 2two

mdni please<3

summary: you stay with your teacher - ellie because youre sure she didnt grade your exam correctly. she turns out to be easy to spend time with, even though youre her student

warnings: 18+ please!!

writers note: calling ellie 'miss williams' kinda cringes me but ig thats how it is.. before yall attack me or smthn reader is not a minor so its all legal also i imagine this is like the last grade of highschool?? i dont know what age it is in usa since im polish and yeah it would be legal for us but maybe not in america so idk😭😭

Ellie Williams was a teacher in your college, most students' favourite. She wasn't boring or too strict although she was serious about her lessons and she always made sure everyone listens. The point is, everyone wanted to listen.

You loved how passionate she is about her job. You could tell sharing her knowledge with next generations makes her proud. The rest of the students mostly liked her for her looks. She was attractive, even for you, especially when she was looking at you from under her glasses. Oh, god, her glasses... And the way she adjusts them with her slim fingers... Yes, she was definitely attractive. And pretty young, as for a teacher. But the way all of those stupid frat boys made clearly sexual comments about her was making you want to throw up.

You never missed her lessons and you were her best student. You could tell she appreciates the way you look honestly interested in her lessons. That's why you were surprised when you suddenly got a D from an assignment.

You stayed after class to talk with her about it. Something was off. You stayed the whole night to do it, with blood, sweat and tears.

You found her in her office, reading some papers. After saying simple 'good afternoon' you sat in a chair in front of her desk. She dropped the papers that turned out to be your assignment.

"I was just about to talk to you." She sternly said, not looking in your direction. "Why are you helping him?"

You had no idea what she's talking about, so you stayed quiet, letting her talk.

"You've always been so responsible - straight A's, making the presentations in time. Did he pay you? Be honest, I won't report it anywhere. Luke wouldn't do that himself."

You frowned. "I'm sorry, I don't understand. What does Luke has to do with this?"

Luke was your talking stage. You weren't interested in him but he was in you and that's it. Your opinion didn't matter. He was popular and you wanted to have good reputation so you allowed him to do... whatever.

Miss Williams showed you two papers. One was yours, the other... based on the handwriting - Luke's.

"Look at the signatures." She ordered. "How did it happen? No bullshit."

They were swapped. Luke's work, graded for a D, had your name on it.

"That's an interesting word to use for a teacher. Umm... Yeah, I don't..." You started stuttering, not knowing what to say. You often helped him out but not this time.

"Just admit you helped him and I'll give you your A. Easy as that." She finally looked up at you. Her glasses reflected the light in a way that made it hard to look her in the eyes, so you wasn't able to tell what she's thinking. Was she judging you or are you just paranoid?

"I told him to give you my assignment since he was staying in your class longer, I swear, I didn't-" You sighed. "He had to... How could he..." You continued mumbling.

"Sh, shh... I can tell it's your handwriting. I just thought you did it on purpose." She said in a reassuring voice.

"Will he have any problems? It's not a big deal, so if we could just..." You looked at her with your doe eyes, nervously biting your bottom lip. The way she was looking at you made you understand why were the other students all over her. You took a deep breath, trying to gather your mind, embarrased you even thought about her in a... romantic... way.

"Okay, my dear. Here's your well earned A." She showed you a new copy of the assignment with an A grade written at the top. You also notice her fingers slightly grazing your hand as she does so. the same fingers you used to imagine touching you in such an intimate way "Now, if it's not a big secret, why are you even worried about Luke? For him, a better grade is more important than you. But if you really like him, I may group you both together in the next presentation."

"No, I don't, it's not that..." You quickly explained. "It's just... I don't even know. He's just everywhere I go."

You could tell something was off when Miss Williams mentioned Luke. She never did speak poorly about any of your classmates, not even once - it's simply unprofessional. But, this time, she seemed irritated, perhaps even annoyed.

"I'm glad to hear that, he's no good for you. He obviously wants more than an assignment swap." She put all of the papers back into her file. Suddenly, she leaned in towards you. Not too close, but way closer than she was before. "You look nervous."

"I am." You admitted quietly. Your heart starts beating fast. She's never been this close before. You both met after classes before and she was friendly, sure, but never this... interested. She made it to the point you didn't saw her as a professor anymore, just a woman, maybe even potential... girlfriend.

"I can help you with that stress if you'd like." She says, her voice barely above a whisper.

You couldn't resist her. She leans in closer, until your faces are so close together that your breaths become one and if it wasn't for the desk, your bodies would be pressed together. The moment she touches your cheek, you can't resist anymore and kiss her back. She takes your hands and presses them against the back of her head, pulling you closer as she deepen the kiss.

You never felt this way before. This doesn't feel wrong, it's... exciting. She's exciting.

You hear a faint sound from outside. Someone trying to open the door.

Miss Williams quickly straightens up: she straightens her clothes, fixes her hair, and picks up her papers. Then, with a deep breath, she answers the knock.

"Hello... Can I help you?" She opens the door.

It's Luke, standing there with a wide smile on his face.

"Luke? What are you doing here?" Your eyes flicked from Luke to the teacher and back again, not understanding what's happening.

"I just realized I forgot my bag at class today, so I dropped by to pick it up. But I see you have company." He looks at you and gives you a subtle wink.

"Oh, don't worry. I was just giving her assignment back an A. The A she deserves." She says with a nervous laugh.

"Yeah, exactly, Luke. I know you swapped our assignments." Your eyes lingered at him for longer this time, as you saw he knows something so you tried changing the topic to more formal one.

"I... uhh... no, I didn't do that." He replies nervously, his tone and body language giving him away.

Miss Williams looks at you with an expression that conveys "I can't believe this is happening."

You continue; "Look, Miss Williams found our assignments mixed up. Mine... with your D grade on it... and yours, with my A on it."

Luke shifts uncomfortably, realizing he's been found out. "Oh... well... I guess I'll just be on my way then." He says awkwardly.

"Just take your bag and go before I change my mind and not be so nice." Your teacher said, making eye contact with you instead of him.

Luke quickly grabs his bag and scurries away.

Miss Williams sighs and closes the door. "What a little... trouble maker." She says with a smile. She walks towards you and stands in front of you, facing you directly. "I hope he didn't bother you too much." She says softly, her tone carrying a slight flirty vibe.

You smile and shake your head, even though the truth is he did.

"You should go now, I don't want your parents worrying. Visit me here from time to time though, 'kay?" She smirks, stroking your hair.

"Yes, ma'am." You reply, trying to be playful but failing in your nervousness. "I will... umm... see you at class tomorrow."

"I'll be looking forward to it." She replies, a grin on her face as she stares deep into your eyes.

As you leave, you try to remain composed, but you're melting inside.

[emptysekai]

guide to ad-free youtube for mobile via. youtube revanced

since youtube vance is no longer maintained and youtube is cracking down on adblockers here is how to download youtube revanced which has the best options for customising youtube features; including removing youtube shorts popups, sponsorship segments in videos, hiding unused buttons, bringing back dislikes, and more! [official revanced github]

this guide is for android only. sorry apple users idk how to help you. your device doesn't have to be rooted. even if it is, you should still be able to follow this guide. if you have youtube vanced installed, revanced shouldn't clash, so you don't have to uninstall it if you don't want to.

installation guide:

1. download all 3:

i. microg (this will let you log into your youtube account) [apk mirror] (scroll past description, download the latest one)

ii. revanced manager apk [github] (select the latest release, scroll to the bottom in assets, install the .apk file)

iii. latest youtube apk [apk mirror]

2. open revanced manager

3. select in this order: "patcher" -> "select an application" -> "storage" (note: if your phone asks you to let the app have storage access, say yes)

[id. two screenshots of the revanced manager app. there are red markings drawn overtop, indicating areas to select mentioned in step 3. the three spots are circled by a red square, an arrow pointing towards it, and a circle with a marked number to indicate the order at the end of each arrow. id end.]

4. select the youtube apk you downloaded

5. select patches. you can tap "recommended" or "default" or turn on/off patches you want

6. once you have selected, select: "done" -> "patch"

7. wait as it intialises youtube revanced. when it's done select "install" (note: if your phone gives you a warning that the app is blocked, select: "more details" -> "install anyway")

8. if this worked, you should have youtube revanced installed, and you can log in like normal. if this didn't work, read the next part.

(under the read more are troubleshooting solutions + other alternative apps)

issue a) if the botom right now says "open"

1. select: 3 dots on the top right -> "export apk"

2. save it

3. open whatever file browsing app you use (most phones should have a default one that comes pre-installed called something like "files" or "my files". if you don't have one, you can go to the play store and search "files" and pick one. if you aren't sure, i use "files by google")

4. find the exported file and install it (it will be called something like "youtube-revanced-versionnumber.apk")

5. if this worked, you should have youtube revanced installed, and you can log in like normal. if this didn't work, you can read the next part.

issue b) can't build or install youtube revanced with no option to export

1. something may have gone wrong with the file installation at some point, so try a clean start. to do this, uninstall:

i. revanced manager

ii. youtube revanced

iii. microg

iv. (optional) disable/uninstall the default youtube app

2. follow guide from step 1 again, hopefully it works. if it's still not working, you can try other alternatives. i've listed some in the next part of this post

alternatives:

libretube, newpipe, songtube, vuetube, astron, puretuber

i haven't used any of these personally, but i haven't seen any problems with them. let me know if there are and i'll remove it from the list.

you can also use youtube through your web browser with adblock add-ons. i'm not sure whether youtube has affected their mobile site though. with the firefox app you can use ublock origins (for ads) + youtube high definition (for general quality fixes)

[bigfatbimbo]

Hey there! @hazbinhotelmollykisser here yet again, with the promised bill rambles :)

Forgive me if the following words sound like nonsense, I'm trying lol

SO. I'll be covering the bill with a more powerful reader and sub bill because your works have changed my brain chemistry, masochist bill because I'M GOING INSANE AN I NEED TO BE SEDATED, and bill with a reader that likes to tease him (with a more powerful reader version and a just a human version) because I need to study his reactions to teasing like I'm Stanford studying like... Science + math = triangles or something.

・Bill x More powerful reader

So I actually made an entire oc for this literally as soon as I finished reading the og post, which I will refrain on ranting abt, but the idea of a reader that's more powerful than bill is fascinating to me.

Because like, he's bill so he's obviously gonna try to get under your skin, but imagine a reader that sees his attempts to annoy them and just... Like laughs? A reader that finds his attempts almost endearing? Reverting whatever bill did back to before with just a snap and maybe a passing comment about his mischief.

It would drive him mad I think, he'd be rlly annoyed and pissy about it.

Or alternatively, a reader that does get angry when he tries to annoy them, (a loud and aggressive angry or a quiet festering angry both yielding different reactions from bill) and Bill takes it as motivation to keep annoying you (and it's definitely only because he thinks it's funny and totally definitely no other reason).

(Holy shit this is already getting long)

・Sub!Bill

So obviously a brat right? Like very obviously? We all agree on that.

And this next bit will probably just be regurgitating your points because I can't stop having the same opinions as you,

I personally need to see any + every version of bill cipher getting taken down a peg. Like I need to just. Ruin his life a little. Like I need to cause him mental peril and make it up to him (but actually it's only for me) by making him beg for what he wants and not giving him anything unless he asks out loud because "well I'm not a mind reader" (more powerful reader probably IS but shhhh..)

I want him to cry and beg (as do most people who read your blog honestly)

・masochist bill

Thinking about the way that bill literally talks about going out of his way to inflict pain onto the bodies he "possesses" (? Idk if that's the word I should use) made me think. Like too much thinking too many thoughts, to the point that I at multiple points almost wrote a small drabble in my notes app about it. (I would've if I could think of any words to write down when I need them 😭)

But like he's definitely some kind masochist right?

I can't think of any scenarios for human reader he made a deal with and bill for this category but imagine with me pls, a HUMAN reader, that he made a deal with (is actively trying to manipulate), causing him PAIN somehow (directly or indirectly), and he... DOSENT MIND? because 1. He's gonna have a mental breakdown because of it probably, and 2. He dosent JUST not mind. It's like EXCITING but not normal exciting.

So basically he'd be freaking out.

And with a reader that's more powerful than him? I think it'd be clear as day. Going hand in hand with the angry reader that's more powerful than him thing above, he would absolutely get off on annoying them until they snap at him (specifically the snap at him part). And when reader notices, they're obviously gonna make fun of him because hes being pathetic lol.

I think I have run out of masochist bill words now so onto the next topic.

・tease reader (human) x bill

My main reason for bringing this up is I love the idea of the powerful bill cipher being.. Well, flustered.

Like maybe when it's triangle form bill its easier to hide for him but if it were human bill reader would be able to tell almost instantly probably.

And more opportunities to make fun of bill for being a pathetic little creature are always good :)

・tease reader (more powerful) x bill

OOWOWHEOEJEIEBSJBSISNDH I love this idea so so SO SO SOSOSOSO MUCH!!!3&:28&:9.

SO MANY MORE OPPORTUNITIES TO TEASE AND NOT GET KILLED :)

Like imagine with me, your teasing bill and he gets all "upset" and probably threatens you, you don't gotta back off, you infact can tease him even more for thinking that he can threaten you. Shheheheheheheh.

I think that's all my words, I seem to have run out.

I hope that big lump of nothing text (800-ish words 😰) was enough to make up for my sudden dissapearence after promising to talk about bill TWO WEEKS AGO

Forgive my probably dogshit spelling and grammar pls

and hope you have a good day/night/whatever!

IUAHAHSHSHSHSHHSHDHSHAHS I LOVE THINGS LIKE THIS IN MY INBOX!!!!! Because it’s like wow, you did all the work for me! 😊

Ugh, this is so good tho. I always love to hear your thoughts, you are one of my FAV anons!!!!!