#so idk what my schedule is gonna look like in the near future??? and that bugs me lol | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

greyfongschemmenti · 4 years ago

Note

Could you write a angst turned fluff for Lin x female or gender neutral reader?

Bonus points if the reader is a firebender. You don’t have to tho :)))

okay, so I’m gonna have to split this into parts because weeee boi

do I write a lot.

Fun Fact: This story was a piece I was thinking of adding to my Book 4 of See You At The Station Series. Idk If I will still use it, but I did change the Reader to a fire bender per your request. ;)

Reunion (Lin x Reader)

This is set after the whole Zaheer (within the three year gap)

“Thanks for agreeing to accompany me tonight, Cin” you gave your date a gentle smile

“If I didn’t, you would make some excuse to leave early. What of our potential investors and buyers?”

You laugh as you fix your collar while looking at the rearview mirror “It’s always about business with you.”

“Here let me help” Cinder offers and reaches over to fix the collar laying it out then flattens out the suit jacket. Your cheeks slightly blush of the close proximity. Cinder slowly looks up and meets your eyes.

You clear your throat as you straighten up “thanks”

She gives you a warm smile as she sits back into her seat and puts on her seatbelt “don’t mention it. Let’s go”

Asami was invited to attend a state dinner in Republic City as she has been coming up with plans on modernizing Republic City's Central City Station. Asami had a stroke of inspiration on the tram designs and wanted to work on the ramifications. So she couldn’t attend so you offered to go as a representative for Future Industries. Rather than attend this dinner by yourself, you decide to take Cinder. The Head of Automotive Interiors for the Satomobile. You and Cinder, a firebender, have become friends in the past six months after going through a bad breakup. You decided it would be a good idea to bring a fellow designer to talk up the next line of Satomobiles while you talked about the business.

Walking up the steps into the government building where the state dinner was being held. You smoothed down your suit jacket and let out a deep exhale. “You good?” Cinder looped her arm around yours giving your hand a gentle tap. Looking over you nodded your head “yeah, all good.” you reassured her and gave her a smile before walking the both of you toward the doors giving the guard your invitation.

“There’s president Raiko, we should introduce ourselves” Cinder looks at you and she starts walking both of you towards his direction. “Mr. President” Cinder approached and Raiko’s brows raised as he saw you giving you a big smile, “Captain y/n! So nice to see you here!” he extended his arms.

You smiled politely before gently correcting him “that’s former Captain, Sir. I no longer hold that position, remember? I’m now working along with Ms. Sato at Future Industries as partner and Head Designer.”

You and Raiko grab each other’s forearms in greeting as you give a firm shake “Right, sorry Ms. y/n, but is it okay if I call you Captain still? Despite the trouble in the city you held that position well. Wonder what happened.” He spoke as his security team covered him, keeping him safe while the perimeter was protected with RCPD’s finest. He took out his metal cigar canister taking one out.

“Uh...sure I guess although I’m not sure how the current Captain will take it” you looked around before looking back at Raiko as he is looking for a lighter “oh allow me Sir. If I may of course”

Raiko looks back at you and gives you a nod and you flick your finger, a flame coming out. An officer approaches to stop you but Raiko puts his hand up to prevent him as you continue lighting the cigar for him. “Thank you, Cap”

“Anytime, President Raiko.”

Cinder nudges you and fakes a cough giving you a cue “oh right so sorry” you apologized and turned dropping your arm down as you direct the attention to your date. “Mr. President, I would like to introduce you to Cinder, our brilliant Head of Automotive Interior of our successful satomobiles. She has been working diligently with our creative team on creating a beautiful car in the next season.”

Raiko gently shakes Cinder’s hand as she gives him a smile and respectfully bows “Mr. President, pleasure to meet you.”

“Oh no the pleasure is all mine. Are you two?” he eyes and points at the two of you. Your cheeks slightly blush “no no, sir. Purely business associates. We’re friends of course but just colleagues.” you clear your throat trying to bring down the head to your face.

“My apologizes”

“It’s okay, I understand with my arm around hers and our clothes slightly matching. I’m also from the Fire Nation.” Cinder tries explaining and you gently put your hand on her back and whisper in her ear “I think that’s good Cin.” you smile at President Raiko as he nods understanding “I don’t judge.” there’s an awkward silence before Raiko’s assistant comes up and whispers in his ear. Raiko speaks up, turning back to the both of you “Well I hope you enjoy the state dinner.”

You and Cinder bowed to the president before Cinder rubs her eyes “I blew it didn’t I?” she whispered. “Noooooo not at all.” you tried to assure her when she glares up at you and you laugh softly “it’s okay. He’s going to forget about it by the end of the night.”

A waiter with a tray of drinks comes by and you grab two glasses handing one to Cinder “Here this should take the edge off” you pass her a glass and watch as she downs it quick then grabs the one that you intended for yourself and downed it as well.

“Uh...that was for me…” you looked at Cinder then down at the two glasses in your hands

“Crap, I’m sorry”

“No worries, this isn’t my kind of drink anyways. Feeling better?” another waiter comes by and you set the two empty glasses on the passing tray. Cinder gives you a wide smile and nods “loads better. We should be meeting with these important officials on transporting vehicles for sales.” Cinder grabs your hand and tugs you along, but you stop. “Woah, how about you speak with Ambassador Zeng from the Earth Kingdom while I grab myself a drink from the bar.”

“Seeing as I took your glass back there. Fine. See you soon” Cinder gives you a smile before she heads over and approaches Ambassador Zeng.

You sigh as you near the outdoor bar unbuttoning your suit jacket as you wave a hand at the bartender, “a Pegu Club please” you order and the bartender nods as she starts pouring some gin, curaçao, lime juice, and bitters into the shaker with crushed iced. She starts giving it a good shake before pulling out a chilled cocktail glass and pouring the drink in it, finishing it off with a twisted lime and hands it to you. You gave her a nod and raised the drink in appreciation before taking a sip. Once you savored the alcohol you felt your shoulders relax.

“New haircut? Surprised to see you here”, it’s been a while since you heard that voice. It still gave you an effect as you felt the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. You inhaled before turning around and placing a smile on your face, “Chief Beifong, I’m sorry I can’t say the same. Figured I’d run into you sometime throughout the night, but it seems like you ran into me.” you calmly spoke as you took another sip from your drink.

“Pegu Club?” she eyes the glass then up at you as a little bit of your facade escapes but you try regaining it and look away. “Yes, it is” you tap on the glass.

“At least some things never change...” She looks away at the surrounding scene, before her eyes look back at you. Noticing your physical changes, for once you’re dressed in a fire nation suit and your hair once long in length has been cut short. It looks nice on you, Lin thinks. Though the thing she couldn’t stop looking at were those eyes she missed. The bright amber eyes that seem to look like glowing embers from a fire. Sometimes it brought a shiver down her spine in the way you looked at her at night.

“It’s a favorite-” your voice brings her back from her thoughts and she looks back at you.

“I know….” a sudden softness slips from her voice, causes you to look up and meet those jade eyes. It causes you to lose your breath for a second that you need to take another sip to regain some control. Pegu Club was one of your go to drinks and Lin would often order it for you at restaurants and even tried to prepare it for you at home. Home.

“It’s good to see you Lin-I mean- Chief Beifong. I should get going. I left my partner alone long enough.” you stepped forward and started walking when Lin grabbed your arm to stop you “that Fire Nation girl you gallivanted in with? You sure have a sweet spot for fire nation don’t you?” she looked at you talking under her breath.

“What are you insinuating?” you looked down at her then darted your eyes around to make sure no one was eavesdropping. Lin doing the same. “Say it”

“Don’t act daft. First Iris and now her.” Lin put an extra emphasis on the word and you arch your brow up. Lin thinks you and Cinder are together. Is she jealous?

“You don’t know what you’re talking about, Lin. Please let go.” you mutter back and Lin’s grip loosens as you smooth the sleeve and button it up. “Now, if you excuse me, Chief. I have business to attend to” you bowed your head and walked away. Lin watched you go and pinched the bridge of her nose as she cursed herself for acting like this.

-/-

After talking to various ambassadors and important officials at the dinner making influences and possible deals with the neighboring cities and nations. Cinder and you decided to leave a couple of hours early before the festivities were to end.

“If you wanted to stay, I could have left you the car and I could’ve called a cap” you smiled as you walked Cinder down the steps to the valet. “Nonsense, what fun would I have with you gone.” she nudges you and you laugh nudging her back.

“I’m glad you came. I needed a friend tonight and glad you helped with the pitches. Hopefully we’ll hear from the assistants tomorrow morning on scheduling test runs and meetings.” you talked as the valet driver handed you the keys and you opened the door for Cinder. Cinder smiles and gives you a kiss on the cheek before squeezing it “look at you opening doors for me. So cute, but I could’ve done that myself” you laugh as you rub your cheek “I know, but let me do something nice.”

Cinder rolls her eyes and gets in the car as you close the door for her and starts walking around to the driver’s side. You open the door before looking up and see Lin talking to one of her officers and she turns her head and looks at you.

You sigh and tilt your head down on the roof of the car before you run your hand through your hair, “I’ll be right back, I forgot something” you told Cinder before you stepped back and walked over toward the Chief of Police as she orders the officer back to their post, “leaving so soon?” she folds her arms as you exhale “uh.. Yeah busy morning at work” you slide your hands in your slack pockets. Lin looks over your shoulder then back at you “is that what you’re calling it?”

You roll your eyes and look away “you can just say it Lin”

“Say what?”

“That you’re jealous for starters.” you smirk a bit as Lin rolls her eyes and shrugs “I’m not.”

“Sure, so you insinuating falsely over the relationship between my colleague and I twice in one night has nothing to do with you being jealous.” you pulled your arms out and folded your arms looking at the chief of police. The night late and a sudden chill with a couple party goers starting to leave and head to the valet.

“I have work to do” Lin snarls as she drops her arms and starts to turn. You step forward and touch her arm but quickly retract it “If you want to talk, really talk. I’m going to head back to my office after dropping Cinder off”

“Cinder?” Lin pursed her lips and you sighed getting the car keys from your pocket “office”. You sternly looked at her before you turned and walked back to the car. Getting in the car and starting it up “everything okay with the Chief?” Cinder looks at you as you slowly let go of the clutch and apply equal pressure to the gas, driving out of the area “yeah, just wanted to check up on former bosses. It was nice to see the chief” you look straight down the road as you drive away from downtown. “That lady scares me. She’s so intimidating.” Cinder taps on the window then decides to roll down the window as you let out a chuckle “yeah, she can be, but once you get to know her she isn’t all that bad” you turn a street and drive down the bridge until you reached Shassa Village. “You had to live in one of the fire nation neighborhoods.” a light chuckle as you looked at the street signs. “Well do I need to remind you that I am a fire nation lady” she ends in a sing-song tone.

“Yeah, but just because you’re from the fire nation doesn’t mean you have to stay in a fire nation borough.”

Cinder shrugs and smiles “it reminds me of home. Is that a problem?”

“No, of course not” you smile back as you pull up to Cinder’s townhome “alright, here we are.” you shift the gear stick in park, “thanks for the ride and for tonight”. Cinder gets out of the car and closes the door “See you bright and early tomorrow morning” she taps your car roof then walks up the steps and opens her door to give you a wave and you wave back, driving off.

-/-

Rubbing the back of your neck as you stare at your drafting table looking over the sketches you drew in the past two hours. Drinking the glass of whiskey you’re holding then rubs your eyes. It’s been the third straight night that you’ve snuck back to your office to work. Stifling a yawn then quickly blink as you set your glass down and grab your brush and softly brush off the eraser shavings from your drafting papers and get your pencil and compass to work on the new satomobile’s curves. You were planning on presenting a new line of satomobile, a luxury line. This new car would be sleeker with curves, integration of phones into the cars into the Public Switched Telephone Network of Republic City, and a better radio system.

-/-

Lin was able to secure and made sure everyone left the area safe and sound while her men checked surrounding areas. Saikhan approached the chief “I saw the state dinner was a success.”

“It seems it had” Lin gruffed back as she watched her men work

“Were my eyes deceiving me or did I catch Cap in the night? Did you request them to help us with the security intel?” He looked at the metalbending officers packing up the squad cars before looking at the chief.

“No, former captain y/n was here as a guest. It appears Ms. Sato couldn’t make it so y/n had to come as a representative for Future Industries.”

“Some snazzy date they had” he commented and Lin glared at Saikhan “apparently they’re just colleagues” she muttered and Saikhan nodded “So you two talked?”

“We ran into each other at the bar earlier in the night”

“Did y/n want their job back? As much as I hate to admit it, they were a damn good detective and leader” he gruffed as he folded his arms.

“No, let’s head back to headquarters. I don’t want to hear a word from your wife about how late I’ve kept you. All because you wanted to gossip.” Lin dropped her arms and started walking away, thinking back to her interactions with you throughout the night. Never forgetting how you looked and worked around the room.

-/-

You looked up at the clock and noticed it was nearing 2 in the morning. “I should leave now and get some sleep on an actual bed”, you muttered to yourself as you stood up from your drafting table and walked over to your desk to grab your jacket. You turned around to look out your office window as you fixed your sleeves and collar. A part of you was upset that a certain chief of police didn’t show up, although you understood. She had a job to do tonight and she most likely had better more important things to do. You sighed then finished off the whiskey left in your glass before setting it down on your counter. As you’re cleaning up your desk you hear the door open across from you “I’m sorry Jed. I know I promised to leave sooner, but-” you shuffle some papers into your portfolio.

“If you’re going to keep Jed up this late. He should get a raise or at least buy the poor boy a coffee. He was practically asleep when I saw him”

Your eyes widened as you placed your palms on the desk and slowly looked up. Lin standing across from you. Slowly stand up straight and walk around your desk “We provide our security with the amenities. I would have to check up on that later.”

For a second there was silence between the two of you and you were unsure of what to say “I wasn’t sure you would show up...”

“Neither did I...”

#lin x reader #linbeifongxreader #linbeifong x reader #lin beifong x reader #fyrefics #fyrewriting #The Reunion

171 notes · View notes

srirachvbi · 5 years ago

Text

Kageyama and Bokuto taking their kids to practice headcanons !

request: hihi i was wondering if you can do a continuation of the bringing their kids to practice with some of the other haikyuu characters? i’d love to see it with kageyama especially but honestly you can pick anyone! thank you :)

a/n: i AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG... I have no excuses, i was too sad about haikyuu e wording but i have read threads on how to write characters on twitter and i am thriving... so n e ways i was looking for a reason to write more of these because i just... love the idea of this so tsym for requesting!! if i write more parts, i might do hoshiumi, hinata, atsumu, and... maybe oikawa? i’m a huge bokuto stan so his might be longer than kageyamas im sorry <3 and and ik that kageyama goes to italy but for the sake of i want to write other characters, i will be using the adlers oops. i will also be only doing probably two characters per post for these because i write so much for it. LMAO ALSO these are super unrealistic this would NOT be allowed during pro sports practices but for the sake of entertainment, let’s just... do it warnings: manga spoilers

Bokuto Koutarou

He had been wanting to bring Kaori to practice for a while but each time he tried to, you would be like no bitch </3

heart been broke so many times

When you told him that you had to go into work and couldn’t schedule the nanny in time, he was like “I’LL TAKE CARE OF HER!!!”

Honestly you were only against him taking her because you were still mad at him for leaving her in the high chair for a while and you came home to her crying and him just knocked out

Like... Kou, pls <3

He had brought Kaori into post game interviews before but you were always there so this would really be the first time he’d take care of her by himself for a period of time longer than an hour

He’s a good parent dw !! he had just spent the whole night thinking about the most random shit and he ended up sleeping like three hours

He was thinking about horses cause Ushijima brought them up in an interview >:0

You were still mad tho

It had been a while and he had actually shown to you that he could take care of her by himself so you were fine with him taking her to practice

He was super pumped and was practically shaking in excitement (he was texting Akaashi the whole morning asdlfjskdf)

Bokuto-san AGHASHEE!!!!! Y/N IS LETTING ME TAKE KAORI TO PRACTICE!!!!!!!!! AGHASHEE Congrats, Bokuto-san.

That conversation but every two minutes

I’m sorry Akaashi <3

He also texts the whole group chat and Hinata’s equally as excited

Kaori and Hinata were best friends !!!! She literally loved him

Like he would put her on his shoulders and they’d run around for hours

How he has so much energy goes beyond everyone but it’s fun to watch

You lectured him for half an hour about what he should do in certain situations and unlike most times, he listened really well because :(( the baby cares about Kaori

Both Kaori and him actually walked with you to the train station and saw you off before heading to practice !!

He normally drives to practice because he has a super nice car and it’s easier to drive with Kaori instead of public transportation

When they get to the gym, he goes running in with Kaori on his shoulders

“WE HAVE ARRIVEEEED!!!!!!!!”

cue Hinata cheering super loudly

Kaori’s giggling and being all cute omg i love her

She was being carried in on her dad’s shoulders so Bo lets her down and she immediately runs (read: waddles quickly) to Hinata

“Hinata-nii!!!!”

Hinata starts crying-- jk, no

He goes “Kaori-chan!” and scoops her up in his beefy arms

BEEFY HINATA BEEFY HINATA BEEFY HINATA

Sorry

She’s giggling and she like kisses his cheek and everyone’s like “so cute...” ohmyogd babies

Similar to her dad, she’s super friendly!! and a bit simple minded

It’s literally in her blood to not actually hate anyone so she gets along with EVERYONE at practice

She even makes the coach super soft omg

Atsumu’s just watching her and being like “child. want. child-- oh god, i need a kid.” cause she’s just so god damn cute

Lol atsumu having twins cause it’s a gene or smth idk biology

I barely passed bio please spare me <3

I actually got an 80 smth on my final last year don’t listen to me

Sakusa being hesitant at first to be near her but she’s actually super sweet to him!!

CAUSE LIKE HER DAD SHE’S ACTUALLY REALLY EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT AND CAN READ PEOPLE REALLY WELL

like she saw Sakusa’s face and was like “oh!! I remember what dad said!!”

Kou talks about his teammates a lot and somehow Kaori remembered him telling her about how Sakusa’s a germaphobe so she’s like

“Sir!! I washed my hands!! I’m not dirty!!” and he

He just 👁👄👁

He thinks she’s cute and treasures her now

Suddenly Kaori has a whole team of dads

it’s okay

Bokuto itching to let her play volleyball but at the same time worrying about her if she does

It’s like the angel and the devil on his shoulders

One sides like

let her pLAY!!!!! LET HER PLAY (read it as if it’s the LEt ME INNN meme)

While the other sides like

👁👄👁 (y/n) will kill me if she gets hurt and i’ll kill myself if she gets hurt and hinata will kill me if she gets hurt-

In the end he gives her a volleyball after she asks once and he’s like ‘PFFT KAORI-CHAN IF YOU INSIST’ while she’s like

dude i asked to play once and normally someone disagrees with me tf are you on, sir?

she tries to pick the ball up but it ends up being half her size and it’s just... such a cute image

Bo takes a picture of it and sends it to you!!

You reply back in seconds lol

Kou-kun ❤💖 [image.jpeg] LOOK AT HER!! FUTURE PRO (Y/N)-CHAN!! (Y/N) MY LOVE ❤💕❤💕💕❤💕❤💕 be careful letting her hold that it’s too big!! but so cute!!! have fun taro <3

He ends up taking the ball away after a bit because she can’t walk while holding it

Eventually practice has to start tho so he asks her to sit on the bench and she’s an obedient angel and does so !!

The whole time she’s like swinging her legs and watching her dad practice

It’s fun for her to see him play

Okay but like I’ve said, she’s similar to her dad

At one point at practice during a break, she stole Atsumu’s water and was running around the gym with him chasing her

He was ofc not actually chasing her cause he found it cute that she was trying to steal his stuff

Lol Sakusa being like “oh, you can’t catch up to a child? are your knees getting bad, old man?”

Atsumu’s like “bro, we’re the same age”

Sakusa ignores him

She ends up TRIPPInG AND ATSUMU’s LIke “Oh fuck”

SHE CRIES

omg Bokuto’s like “tsum tsum-- do you want to die 👁👄👁🗡” because she just got hurt because of him

Atsumu picks her up and is apologizing so god damn much

This is the first time anyone’s seen Bokuto remotely irritated

Kaori: WAAAHHHH

Atsumu: please, child... i don’t want to die today... please... shhhhhhh

He lets her down and she walks (read: waddles) over to her dad and is giving him puppy eyes omg

Bokuto stops being mad and scoops her up and he’s like “did Kao-chan get a boo boo” and she nods, sniffling

Ohmygod dad bokuto dad bokuto dad bokuto stop

suddenly I actually want kids

Shion ends up getting a first aid kit since Meian asked (woah more black jackals players except I don’t really know how to write for them??? woahhh)

Shion roasts Atsumu with Sakusa for letting her fall and suddenly Atsumu’s the bad guy

lol

By the end of practice tho Kaori’s fine !!!

She’s back to her regular happy self so cute :(

She asks Bo to call you and when you pick up she shows you her bandaid on her knee and is like “Miya-san was chasing me and I fell!!”

Suddenly Atsumu feels a cold chill and knows you found out lol

Hi this is (y/n), and you’re watching disney channel-

good luck, atsumu *stops camera*

Kageyama Tobio

sigh

He would be equally as confused as a father as Ushijima

It’s okay, he’s trying his best

You normally work from home so you guys haven’t really hired a nanny!

And if you needed someone to watch your guys’ son, Sho (which can mean to fly oho see what I did there I’m so smart), you just drop him off at your parents’ house or Miwa’s!

WAIT SHO... SHOYO... WAIT I DIDN’T EVEN DO THIS ON PURPOSE IM LITERALLY

However, today was the only time you had to go in for like the next few months and both your parents and Miwa are busy

So, you enlist in your husbands help

“Tobio... I need you to watch Sho...”

He spits out his milk “wHAT” cause like,, he’s hardly taken care of Sho by himself and normally had either his sister or you around

He doesn’t actually spit out his milk-- you’d kill him if he did because it would be a pain in the ass to clean up <3

It takes a bit of convincing being he’s really nervous about taking care of Sho!!

Okay but he’s a great dad dw it’s just he’s nervous about having another human being literally rely on him completely

You also just remind him that Romero’s a father so he won’t be completely on his own while taking care of Sho

So he somehow gets to the gym with Sho in one piece but he’s literally so stiff like bro, i need you to relax

Hoshiumi yelling “KAGEYAMA SHO!!!!!!!” and Sho (who has actually met the team like two times) goes like “HOFIUMI-SAN!!!!!”

Sho’s a bit of an energetic bby-- he’s less emotionally constipated than his dad <3

He’s... he reminded you guys of Shoyo and well, you thought it would be nice to name him after his god father

No this isn’t a kagehina post i swear i love them but this is me saying that i love their friendship sm omg stop im gonna cry 402 really just popped into my head again

Hoshiumi getting mad when he sees that Sho has actually grown even though he’s a grown ass man and the little toddler would not, in fact, be catching up that soon

“KAGEYAMA SHO HAVE YOU GROWN >:0000!!!!!”

Sir, pls... sit down

The Adlers all love Sho since they’ve come into contact with him like twice at games before

Ushijima just... doesn’t know how to interact with Sho

He just stares down at him and honestly Sho stares back up without fear

Kageyama Sho: no (0) fears

I think it’s cause his father gives a similar stare sometimes and he just... got used to it

Ushijima gives him that stare and Sho just goes SIGH this again

Jk he’s a baby

He literally looks up at Ushiwaka and gives him this cute ass grin and Ushijima’s like “oh, children are very cute.”

Thank you, Wakatoshi-kun

Romero does, in fact, give Kags some tips about fathering and ends up showing pictures of Rubens to the team (love that)

OKAY BUT LIKE OFF TOPIC FROM THE PRACTICE BUT

Sho being such a big fan of Hinata and being like “woAHHH!!! I’M NAMED AFTER HIM!!!”

Hinata rubs it in Kags face because Sho practically idolizes him

anyways

Practice starts and Sho’s just sitting on the gym floor with a volleyball in his hands cause he

Kags just giving newborn Sho a volleyball and expecting him to become acquainted

It worked

Sho’s used to holding onto volleyballs and even tries to hit it but everytime he did, he’d fall backwards onto his lil bum and would be like :(

Kageyama watching from the other side of the gym and his heart just goes AHHHHHHHHHH

He’s about to cry that is the cutest thing he’s ever seen

Sho making sure he doesn’t interrupt practice!!! and like chasing after the ball to make sure it doesn’t go onto the courts!!!

Cute babs is so good :(

He ends up tripping tho and starts to tear up and Kags is watching during practice and goes “OH GOD”

He’s literally whipping his head from Sho to his coach and has this desperate look on his face

he’s saying “JUST ONE BREAK!! JUST ONE, SIR!!” with his eyes and his coach just gives in

Kageyama going from one side of the gym to the next at insane speed

Sho: dad :((( i hwurt my knee :(((

Kags just picks him up and cradles him to his chest (he does this after making sure there’s no blood or anything-- it’s literally just a little bit red)

Kags being a good dad just... WEAK

Only like two minutes later, Sho stops sniffling and is like “!!! go back to practice daddy!!”

Kags does and he can’t focus on Sho anymore cause his coach would yell at him asldfjlsf

At the end of practice, Sho is like “dad i wanna play voweyball!!!!!!” and Kags heart just CLENCHES

He grabs his heart like that meme or smth

You call them cause you know when practice normally ends and Sho’s just talking a lot and it’s so cute

He’s super excited and you’re like !!! My CUTE CHILD !!!!

Lol you tease Kags cause he was worrying about nothing

“Maybe I’ll let you take care of him by yourself more often Tobio” “Pls, I lost ten years of my life when I saw him fall pls not yet <3″

698 notes · View notes

calpops · 4 years ago

Text

together | c.h.

@notinthesameguey said: If you're able to 👉👈What about a lazy dinner and they just talk about the wedding? Maybe they're huddled in the living room eating some pizza and they joke about wanting some pizza at their wedding and yeah

1.3k words

dates with cal masterlist

<< >>

Calum comes home late but you’re not alone, the ring on your finger keeps you company and reminds you of his promises. You don’t tire of staring at opal and silver inlaid with flecks of diamonds. It’s not just the beauty of the ring that keeps your attention but the feeling that it evokes. When the front door finally opens you turn from your perch on the couch and wave Calum over as he enters with a grin. His first instinct when he reaches you is to hold your hand, let his eyes look upon the ring and then let his lips brush the back of your hand past a smirk.

“That ring was made for you,” he says in a whisper as you pull him down onto the couch, the reality of being engaged coming down with you.

“Did you eat?” You ask, knowing how Calum’s schedule always becomes skewed when studio and rehearsal hours wear him thin. “We have left overs.”

“I could go for that,” Calum says but makes no move to get to the fridge where day old pizza lingers. Instead, he nuzzles into you and takes a moment to be with you.

Ever since the night of tears and questions of distance you’ve both gotten back on track to spending time together. No more tense moments of silence follow you, no more doubts or fears plague you during lonely nights. Simple things bring you back to normalcy. Taking an extra moment to linger with each other, spending mornings together, getting engrossed in a new book when sleepless nights ensue. Now, it’s all done with a ring on your finger and plans of a wedding in your heads.

“Let’s go together,” you suggest around a laugh when he still makes no move to get food. He whines in a low rumble at the thought of disentangling himself from your side but he complies; leftover pizza in an empty stomach too tempting to give up on completely.

After it’s heated in the oven and put on plates brought over to the couch you settle back into each other’s holds. Your legs are draped across his lap, shoulder under his arm and his free hand occasionally running through your hair. You can tell he’s tired, that a book probably won’t be read tonight, so you enjoy a lazy dinner with him and talk while you can.

“I told my parents today,” Calum says and you know he’s referring to the engagement. You had kept it between yourselves for a week, wanting to spend some alone time as fiancé’s without anyone else in the mix. “My mum squealed. She actually squealed over the phone, I think Duke’s ears hurt after.”

You laugh, head tossed back into the cushions as you imagine his mom animatedly squealing through the phone. Calum’s sister Mali and Ashton already knew, had helped pick out the ring on your finger, helped to plan the day that became a second chance.

“And your dad?”

“He couldn’t believe it at first. Then I think it hit him fully and he realized it’s you and it all made sense after that.”

You go flush at his comment. His family’s love and support means worlds and worlds to you. You remember how nervous you were the first time you met them, but then how easy it was as soon as they were near. Mali had taken to you the moment you met, his mother had hugged you like you were family without question and his father held pride and happiness in his eyes as Calum introduced you as his.

“Do you think Mali would be in the wedding?” You wonder, hoping she might be your maid of honor, knowing you want her with you and that Calum would too.

“I think if she’s not you won’t have a groom to marry because she’ll kill me,” Calum laughed but turned serious around another bite of his slice of pizza.

“A groom,” you repeat in a wondrous sigh. Calum smirks. “I can’t believe you’re gonna be my groom. I don’t think I’ve ever even seen you in a full fledged tux before.”

Calum’s smirk only deepens and his tone goes playful, “should it be blue or orange? How many ruffles?”

Your eyebrows shoot up but you wave him off. “Well that would be stupid. Then we’d be matching.”

He laughs and goes on a tirade asking you if he’d marry you in this or that. You always nod, say yes, and eventually tell him you’d marry him no matter what.

“Do we have anymore?” Calum asks, gesturing to the empty plate. “That pizza is so good, I would marry it,” he exclaims and it’s so easy for both of you to speak of marriage now it feels freeing and light. Before it was a topic to tiptoe around, to mention only late at night when the stars and moon disguised the future.

“Not if you marry me first,” you shoot back and point up at the counter where a few slices remain.

He grins, pats your legs before getting up to grab the last of it and settle back down with you.

“We should have it at the wedding,” he comments before a bite and just the word wedding is enough to excite you. His eagerness to mention it, to plan it even in small jests and jokes makes you realize how much he wants this and how much you want him.

“At the reception,” you say seriously and he turns to give you a curious gaze. “Nothing’s better than a party, some drinks and then pizza.”

“I knew I was marrying you for a reason. We could have it at the engagement party too.”

“Engagement party?” You question, completely unaware and feeling stuck in left field at the mention.

“You really think our friends will let us get engaged and not have some sort of party?” Calum rebuts lightly. “Ashton was planning one before I even picked out the ring.”

Calum finishes his last bite and leans back into the plush cushions of the couch, arms seeking you out to pull you against his chest. “I suppose that would be okay,” you muse, typically not one for making a spectacle. “But nothing too big or fancy, okay?”

Calum’s eyes dart from you to the ceiling and back again. “I’ll talk to him.”

“Just close friends?” You ask and bite your lip. “And family if they can come.”

“Your parents?” Calum questions timidly.

Your parents aren’t a subject you bring up much or much of presence in your life. They’ve never met Calum and to some it might be strange you’re engaged without your parents knowing your fiancé. But they’ve never worked that way. You’ve never been close and sometimes the distance hurts but you’ve had Calum and his family to make it feel better.

“Maybe…” you muse and lose yourself in thought for a moment. “Maybe we should invite them to dinner with just us first? That might be easier.”

“Whatever you want,” Calum replies and you believe his sincerity. “I’ll be right there with you,” he soothes as if he can feel the anxiety beating inside you. “We’ll get through it. Dinner, the party. And then we’ll be married.”

“Oh,” you smile. “It’s that simple? Why don’t we just elope?”

Calum shrugs. “I would if you wanted,” he says and rubs his hand up and down your arm. “Though it’d be a shame if no one else got to see how beautiful you’ll be in white.”

You blush. Still amazed he can elicit such reactions from you. “And you in your bright orange ruffled tux.”

He laughs and so do you. It doesn’t matter if you elope, if a crowd of hundreds gather, if you wear white and he wears orange. All that matters is you’ll be together.

<< >>

If you’d like to be added to my tag list, just let me know!

Tagged: @rosecolouredash @irwinkitten @golden-hood @who-do-you-love-5sos @caswinchester2000 @wildflowergrae @empathycth @cuddlemcalx @malumsmermaid @babylon-corgis @outerspaceisbetterthannothing @mariellelovescupcakes @xhaileyreneex @goth5sos @gosh-im-short @feliznavidaddycal @loveroflrh @findingliam-o @flowerthug @g-l-pierce @talkfastromance4 @cashtonasfuck @sc0ttish-wildfl0wer @wastedheartcth @calumscalm @notinthesameguey @lukesfuckingbeard @myloverboyash @treatallwithkindness @haikucal @wiildflower-xxx @calum-uncrowned @egyptiangoldhood @drarryetcetera @another-lonely-heart @megz1985 @idk-harry @dinosaursandsocks @wildflower-cth @idontneedanyone @everyscarisahealingplace @myfavfanficsever @stormrider505 @karajaynetoday @333-xx @calumshpod @calumsphile @calumrose @justhereforcalum @grreatgooglymoogly @calumance @mantlereid @hemmingslftv

#Calum hood blurbs #Calum hood imagines #5sos blurbs #5sos imagines #Calum hood x you #Calum hood x reader #5sos x you #5sos x reader #cal!dates #Calum hood fluff #5sos fluff #cal!engagement

134 notes · View notes

violetnotez · 5 years ago

Text

Class 1-A During Quarantine

This is just pure crack because I’m really hating social distancing rn

———————————

Alrightie so just imagine UA getting shut down and all of Class 1-A has to tolerate each other 24/7 non stop because their stuck together in the dorms

Idk if this would really happen or they would just be sent home but JUST IMAGINE KAY

All hell breaks loose at the news-

Some (Mina, Uraraka, Kirishima) are trying to optimistic about the whole thing (“At least we won’t be getting sick!” “It’ll be fun to hang out more and get to know each other better!”)

Some take it a little harder

Bakugo is flipping is SHIT because there is no way he is going to be around all these extras for who knows how long

There are two types of freak outs at the news that school is going to be having a slight break for a while-

All of Dekusquad is practically sobbing- no school?!? Will we get set back?!? What about hero training!!?

Immediately starts planning study and training sessions

All of Bakusquad is FLIPPING THEIR SHIT-NO SCHOOL HECK YEAH

Kaminari, Kirishima, and Mina are just pumping their fists in their air and screaming “YEAH!”

But they get SOOOOOO depressed when Aizawa says they’d have to do video lessons and that school would still be in session-at some point

Shoto really thinks this is all a hoax and has crazy conspiracy theories concocted about the whole thing

Will tell everyone and anyone who will listen

He will sit in his room surrounded by papers and his laptop on full brightness in the dark as he tracks the stats and pieces his theory together

Tsuyu and Uraraka takes this SOOO seriously

Sweet babies don’t wanna get sick!

Washes their hands, socially distances themselves

If you run out of any type of essentials-soap,tissues, etc-they got you covered tho they are more than happy to share

Iida takes it WAY TOO GODDAMN SERIOSULY

You would think he’s preparing for World War 3

He tries to ration out crap that really doesn’t need to be

What a shocker when you go to the bathroom and see that each individual square of toilet paper is stacked up near the toilet and not on the roll

The adjacent “Take only a few!” Sign makes you roll your eyes big time

Pretty much everyone in Class 1-A ignores Iidas annoying preaching about “social disntancing” and “washing your hands” and look to Momo for help

She is very educated about the whole thing and researches her crap all the time, giving everyone accurate tips and statistics about the disease

Kinda of the mama bear through all of it-also completely open to sharing, or if your feeling kinda anxious about the situation she is happy to sit and talk with you to ease your mind

Kirishima as well-he is a big softie and would do anything for his friends! If your feeling scared, this rock boy has got you!!! He’ll try his best to make you feel better

Kaminari and Sero are the biggest crackheads-they don’t see this as a pandemic but as an excuse to turn into hermits and play videogames all day

Their sleep schedules are JACKED

You once found Kamianri eating “dinner” at 5 o��clock in the morning

Honestly scared for those two-itll be past midnight and their rooms will be completely dark except for the lights of the TV screen coming from cracks under their doors and loud gun noises

Sato makes BOMB food though- all of the Class is eating nice and proper because of him

Also takes extra special measures to make sure he doesn’t spread any germs, so it’s honestly safer than regular food

Jiro is jamming to music the whole time-she is not saying hi to anyone, if you wanna say hi to her that’s chill, but she’s is not coming out of her room

Toru swears on her FUCKING LIFE she is going to die-but honestly nobody can see her and accidentally touch her so she’s okay, but she overrracts BIG TIME

Everyone knows where she is at because there is always a floating can of Lysol

Oh my god keep your doors locked because Mineta is going to use this time to try out every nasty perverted trick in the book

He’s lonely and horny what do u expect

Will sneak into rooms, try and set up cameras-really wierd stuff

Even Kaminari told him to chill out because his plans were getting kinda nasty

Bakugo-ohhh this BOI IS FUMING

Will wanna kick Corona in the face

He is SICK of everyone talking about it

His freak outs are hilarious- “WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERES NO TOILET PAPER?!? WHY THE HELL IS EVERYONE WANTING TOILET PAPER?!? IF U RUN OUT JUST USE GODDAMN PAPER TOWELS!!!!”

Bakugo calm your tits

Izuku is the smartest one about it-uses his time to study, prepare for future exams, and keep his body in tip top shape

Calls his Mom like every other day along with Shoto and Kirishima

The ones getting calls from their families is Bakugo and Kaminari

Everyone knows Bakugo is on the phone with his mother is when he starts screaming “Old hag!” And yelling a lot more

Kaminari gets kinda embarrassed because his family always wants to FaceTime and everytime a girl enters the screen they flip their shit and start asking really loudly if their dating

Pray for Aizawa tho

His nerves are gonna be wrecked because he’s gonna be so worried about the class

He knows exactly which kids are gonna freak out about it so he makes sure to always drop by and tell the class that if they needed to talk he was more than willing to listen

Oh but the moment Skyping lessons becomes a thing-he is going to literally wanna rip his hair out the chaotic mess that is his class is going to destroy his patience

———————————-

Hope this made some of you guys feel a little better and pls-STAY SAFE AND HEALTHY!!! ☺️

(RULES | MASTERLIST| REQUESTS CLOSED)

499 notes · View notes

forgottenpasta · 6 years ago

Text

Baby, You’re Bad | 01

Summary: A drunken, pre-debut mistake comes back to haunt Yoongi when years later you turn up pregnant from the sperm he donated when he was a broke, underground rapper. idol!au, pregnant!reader.

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Eventual Smut

Pairings: Yoongi x Reader, Taehyung x Reader

Word count: 9.5k

Warnings: overuse of the word sperm lol; graphic depiction of artificial insemination; this is an asshole!Yoongi au; Suga when he was Gloss; use of real-life instances for plot purposes; idk some people might not like that.

“Are you ready, Miss___?

No. Yes. No.

Maybe the fertility medication they had you on was making you illogically sentimental, but you felt like bawling your eyes out.

The thin pen-shaped catheter in the doctor’s gloved hands epitomized everything you’d ever wanted. Third time’s the charm, they say. God, you hoped so.

You nodded a little too vigorously. “Yes, please.”

The kind nurse who’d been assigned to you since the beginning of your treatment chuckled from beside the ultrasound machine. If the doctor was amused at your enthusiasm, she didn’t let it show. She bent her head between your stirruped legs.

You were beyond any kind of embarrassment now, no stranger to a doctor tinkering with your vagina to get you pregnant. This was your third IUI. If you could, you’d shout it from the rooftops. If climbing the Everest and planting a flag at the summit that said “I want a fucking child!” got you pregnant, you would. If could just blast off to space—

“This might feel a little uncomfortable.”, the doctor, Kim Yeri, warned, adjusting the speculum wedged down there.

“I know.”

The nurse gave you an encouraging smile and a thumbs-up as she mouthed “Fighting!”. Feebly, you smiled back. In a moment of weakness, you’d spilled all your world woes to her when you’d come for the initial check-up. After two previous failed Intra Uterine Insemination attempts at two different clinics, you had been feeling like the most barren woman on the planet, despite the doctors assuring you that it wasn’t your uterus that was the problem, but “you know sometimes these things just don’t work, it’s all luck and probability.”

Your bank balance wasn’t surviving on luck and probability though, it was suffering. Your money wasted on absolutely nothing, nada, nothing coming out of your vagina in the next nine months except more periods. You’d started to hate the sight of your own blood, associating with it the feeling of disappointment at your empty womb.

You twitched slightly as the catheter entered you, willing yourself to not clench your pelvic muscles as the doctor had instructed.

Ever since you could remember, you had wanted to be a mother. You absolutely adored children, lived for them. Literally. Your job as a children’s fiction writer wasn’t something that just happened, you had decided what you wanted to be during the summer vacation of junior year in high school, when all your aunts would leave you with their children as they went off golfing. That’s when you discovered that you had a special talent with mini people. You could spin intricate, sometimes nonsensical stories that put them in a trance and into a deep sleep in record time. Stories about princesses who turned into pirates, a little mouse’s adventures on other planets, a talking pebble who wanted to be a diamond and so much more. Kids loved you, even days old infants seemed to like being in your presence (their mothers’ words not yours).

But as much as you couldn’t even dream about being anything else, writing children’s stories was hardly as lucrative as being a doctor or a lawyer. You did good enough for yourself but your job couldn’t support repeated attempts at artificially induced pregnancy.

As the catheter breached your cervix, you closed your eyes and relaxed back into the examination chair. This was it. If it didn’t work out this time, you didn’t know what you’d do.

Try the traditional method like everyone else.

Internally, you snorted at the thought. One side effect of wanting your own child in your mid to late twenties, no potential partner ever saw eye to eye with you. Men didn’t want to be saddled down with a child this early. Your own pickiness with partners could also be blamed. You weren’t into men who weren’t good with children. One of your ex-boyfriends once scolded a 11-year-old kid for loitering around his new bike, checking it out. The next day you’d dumped him via text.

Suffice it to say, at twenty-seven you were painfully single and the prospects of a serious relationship in your near future looked as microscopic as the sperm being currently inserted inside you.

Looking down your hospital gown-clad body, you noted the transparent tube pumping “washed” cryopreserved and thawed semen into you. The clinic where you’d went for your first IUI had explained the procedure. The preserved donor sperm was “washed” off any impurities and chemicals to ensure maximum sperm count per mL.

As the cloudy liquid travelled down the tube, you briefly wondered about it’s origins. When you were filling the form for donor specificities, Dr. Kim had presented you with the options of having sperm that could result in potential desired characteristics for your child. Such as a donor with green eyes or dimples or tall height or even a specific race. The whole talk had left a weird taste in your mouth and you had quickly dismissed it, writing only ‘healthy’ on the form. This wasn’t a pre-order and you’d love your child no matter how they turned out.

Now, you let your mind wander off to the unknown person who’s child you would potentially (hopefully) bear. What were they doing right now? What did they look like? Did they have any idea they were likely about to have a biological child out there? You shook your head, anonymous donors sold their semen for money, they probably already had many children out there from women like you or infertile couples. You could never understand how a parent was comfortable knowing there was a child out there who would never know them, but you weren’t about to criticise someone you were directly profiting off of.

“All done.” Dr. Kim smiled as she sat up straight, slowly pulling the tube out of you and placing it on the tray the nurse held out.

“Do you think this might be it?” There was a slight wobble in your words.

Damn hormonal drugs.

Dr. Kim gave you the signature neutral yet evasive and unintentionally condescending smile all doctors seemed to master when their patients asked hopeful questions with no right answers.

“If everything goes well from here on out, I can’t imagine why this shouldn’t be it. You have to take care of yourself and keep us informed about any changes in your body. I’m scheduling a check-up in two weeks. But you can take an at-home pregnancy test before that if you miss your period and feel like you might be pregnant.”, she explained, pulling out the speculum as well.

You stayed put, knowing from previous experience that keeping your pelvis horizontal for a few minutes was recommended after insemination.

“Okay, thank you, Dr. Kim.” You smiled your gratitude at the cheerful nurse too.

“Good luck, Miss __. I’ll see you soon, hopefully with good news.”

Afterward, when you slowly made your way to your car in the clinic’s parking lot, you couldn’t help but caress your stomach. A tender, optimistic gesture. This had to be it. Having a child of your own was everything you’d ever wanted, the dream of being a mother one of the goals you had always been steadfast on. A dream which might finally be coming true.

~•~•~

“What a nightmare.”

Yoongi’s hushed words seemed loud in the silent SUV. A complete contrast to the din and clamour outside. The car was inching at a snail’s pace, wading through a mob of fans gathered outside Charles De Gaulle. After landing, their private jet had taxied close to the VIP exit and they had left feeling like this might be a rare hassle-free entry into another country. But somehow, someone had been tipped about the cars they were leaving in and a horde of fans had greeted them as soon as they merged into the main exit outside the airport.

“Shut up, they’re endearing.”, Taehyung griped, peering out the window when some armys started doing fanchants. “A little cringy, yeah, but cute.”

A loud thud against Yoongi’s side of the car made Taehyung and Hoseok flinch, snapping their gazes towards their hyung. In the push and pull outside, someone had toppled against Yoongi’s car door.

The rapper cursed under his breath, immediately switching to an expression of indifference when phone cameras flashed too close, making him squint. He had thrown his face mask in his handbag and shoved it in the trunk and now he regretted it. The damn car didn’t even have tinted windows. Their jet lagged, irritated faces were going to be headlines in a matter of minutes.

Ahead of them, the SUV Jeongguk, Namjoon, Seokjin and Jimin were in wasn’t faring any better, a swarm of fans surrounding it like bees to honey.

Yoongi turned away from the window so they couldn’t read his mouth. “Cute, my ass. Where the fuck is the airport security? Someone’s gonna get hurt out there.”

As if on cue, three blue cars with the words Gendarmerie and flashing sirens atop haul in on the side road in a queue, the officers jumping out to contain the mob. As the fans start to disperse under harshly shouted commands, one girl pressed her hand to Yoongi’s window, gawking down at him with tears in her eyes, showing no signs of moving.

Yoongi gave her a small smile, reaching up to align his palm with hers through the glass. Cameras flash wildly as he observed the girl hyperventilate. Soon enough the officers clad in dark blue manage to push back the crowd and the cars surge forward. The girl’s hand slipped away from the window and the rapper didn’t look back as he sighed deeply, leaning his head back against the headrest.

Their motorcade sped down the freeway in a line, heading to the Peninsula, Paris.

His phone buzzed once in his pocket, but Yoongi didn’t care to check it, didn’t even open his eyes.

“You shouldn’t nap right now, hyung. You’ll feel more tired when we leave for the magazine shoot as soon as we reach the hotel.”, Hoseok advised, not looking up from his own phone.

“I don’t care. I’ll nap at the shoot too, they can take my photos with my eyes fucking closed. Nobody told them to schedule the shoot as soon we step foot in Paris.”

“Our management did.”, Taehyung supplied helpfully.

Yoongi snorted. “Of course they did. When do they ever let us breathe.”

Their manager in the front seat cleared his throat. “I’ll be sure to relay that to the higher ups.”

“Thanks.”, Yoongi replied dryly.

When they reach their hotel, the SUVs parked in the basement. Their keycards were quickly handed to them as they bypassed the front reception, to the private elevators straight to their rooms. Two master suites with connecting doors, four bedrooms in total. As usual, they Rock Paper Scissor it and Yoongi got to room with Namjoon. And as usual the lucky maknae won, sauntering to his room with a smug grin on his face.

“You have half an hour to freshen up, we have to reach the magazine’s studio at 3 sharp.”, Sejin informed after them.

Namjoon sprawled on the king sized bed when Yoongi called dibs on the shower, shucking his clothes haphazardly and placing his phone on the ornate bedside cabinet.

His mind was blissfully blank when he stepped inside the walk-in shower, the control panel allowing him to set the perfect temperature and pressure. Because this was routine, getting to the hotel just to jet off somewhere else, his mind was on autopilot, his body long since adapted to the requirements of someone always on the move. Although he complained and grouched, he knew he wouldn’t change a thing. Couldn’t. This was what kept them at the top.

He was out of the shower in five minutes, toweling his hair dry as he stepped inside the room naked. Namjoon didn’t even blink at him, they had been living together for the better part of a decade now, they’d seen all there was to see of each other.

The leader stretched out his long limbs languidly, getting up sluggishly to head to the en-suite. “Your phone’s been buzzing.”

Yoongi wrapped the towel around his waist, snatching up his phone to rove a cursory glance over the notifications. He was about to throw his phone atop the bed, dismissing the vague emails, when something stops him short. He peers down at the sender’s address.

Ajeevan Fertility & Gyne Centre.

What?

He unlocks his phone, thoroughly confused. This was his personal phone and he only got personal emails on it.

When the email expanded to full screen, he realised something. It wasn’t send to his current email address, but the one he used to use pre-debut, the one he’d made in high school. The one which fell into disuse after they had to change all their contact information due to privacy reasons. He didn’t even remember it syncing up through all his phone changes over the years, he never got notifications from it anymore. And sure enough, the last email of import send to him on this address was from five years ago. The spam folder was full though.

He opened the weird email again, finally deeming to read it. It was succinct, to the point.

Dear donor,

Thank you for your donation dated 2011/03/09. It has been successfully utilised to make our client’s parenthood dreams come true. You are eligible for another donation, please contact us if interested.

Regards

Sperm Bank Office

Ajeevan Fertility & Gyne Centre

**This is an automated message, please do not reply.**

Yoongi’s eyes burned a hole where the phone displayed the date. 2011/03/09. His eighteenth birthday. He took in a shuddering breath.

No no no no no.

Without conscious thought, he plopped down on the bed, his knees going weak. His heart beat spiked to triathlon levels. Putting the phone face down on the table, he rested his elbows on his towel draped thighs, head in his hands.

He had to think. But there was nothing but static in his jumbled brain, which was still trying to catch up to the implications of the email.

They made a mistake. They must have. I refunded the money. I told them I didn’t want it used.

But the date.

“You’re still not dressed. It’s almost time.”

Yoongi almost had a heart attack at Namjoon’s abrupt voice. “Fuck, dude. Why are you sneaking up on me?”

Namjoon’s frowned. He took out a pair of jeans from his bag, pulling them on as he eyed the other rapper. “I’ve been out here for a few minutes. What’s got you so lost?”

Yoongi didn’t answer. He wasn’t lost, he was on the verge of a full blown panic attack at even the minuscule possibility of a stupid teenage mistake coming full circle to end his life as he knows it.

“Hyung.” Namjoon came forward, now genuinely worried, jeans riding low on his shirtless torso. “What is wrong? Are you okay?”

Yoongi had only told one person about the time when he’d hit rock bottom in his life. Namjoon was not him.

“Can you get Jin hyung for me, Namjoon-ah?”, he asked, his words clear and coherent despite the chaos inside his mind.

The leader didn’t question it, just got up to do as asked, plucking out a shirt along the way.

A few minutes later, Jin poked his head inside, immediately entering and closing door at Yoongi’s pensive countenance. He raised a brow at the younger.

Yoongi held out his phone.

Jin took it, seating himself on the bed as well.

A few beats passed.

Jin exploded. “What the hell?! Yoongi?! Is this saying what I think it’s saying?!”

Yoongi ran a tired hand down his face. “ I gave them their money back. Explicitly told them I wanted my sperm thrown in the trash.” The anger which had been slowly simmering, now bubbles to the surface. “What the fuck is this, hyung? I don’t even recognise the name of the clinic. What the fuck did they do with it?”

Jin bit his lip, confused. “What was the name of the place you donated to?”

“I don’t even remember, but it definitely wasn’t that. I should have known they were shady as fuck when they refused to return my sample.”

Jin was surprised. “Yeah, that should have raised several red flags, Yoongi.”

“I was eighteen.”, Yoongi growled. “I was stupid as fuck. Shit, I agreed to donate sperm because my bank balance was riding the negatives, what does that tell you?”

“That you were desperate.”, Jin shrugged.

“Yes but not knowingly-having-a-kid-out-in-the-world desperate!”, Yoongi was freaking out. “I realised I didn’t have the moral consonance to have a kid I didn’t know and have estranged parents I despised at the same time. It was a stupid drunken whim, which I regretted the minute after and it has been one of the most shameful moments of my life since.”

“Wait.”, Jin scowled. “You were drunk when you donated and they let you?”

Yoongi sniffed. “I was tipsy, yeah. I needed liquid courage to go through with it.”

“That isn’t just red flags, Yoongi, thats red blaring fucking sirens. What kinda third rate, illicit place did you donate to?”

There was a knock on the door before Taehyung pushed it open. Behind him, the rest of the members looked ready to leave.

Sejin also came into view, frowning at Yoongi.

“Why aren’t you dressed?”

Jin and Yoongi exchanged a glance. Here goes fucking nothing.

~•~•~

“What a fucking liar.”

Yoongi’s glazed eyes drifted over to his roommate, Jaehyun.

“Who?”

He didn’t particularly want to know, but if he didn’t give Jaehyun some sort of verbal response he would likely keep pestering him about “liars who lied about lying”.

The blonde man took a deep inhale from his cigarette, blowing the smoke towards Yoongi. “That lying rat, Hyungwon. Did you see him strut in here decked head to toe in designer shit I can’t even pronounce the name of.”

Slowly, Yoongi turned around on his barstool, scanning the packed club with lazy eyes. He spotted Hyungwon among a gaggle of scantily clad girls feeling up his biceps.

Yoongi squinted. “Hyungwon? Wasn’t he asking you to set up a gig for him last month?”

“Asking? No, the bastard was begging.”, Jaehyun sneered. “Said he didn’t even have enough for his next meal. Now, look at him. The lying fucker.”

Yoongi chuckled. “Don’t tell me you actually took pity on him.”

“He was pretty fucking convincing.” Jaehyung signaled for two shots, stubbing out his cigarette in the ashtray atop the bar. “I even introduced him to our underground regulars, told them to give him a chance.”

“Is he any good?”

Jaehyun snorted. “Raps like a bubblegum pop princess.”

Laughing, Yoongi glanced back at the man in question, doing a double-take when he saw Hyungwon making his way towards them. “Ah shit. He’s coming here.”

Jaehyun blanched. “Hide me, quick.”

Too late.

“Hey, guys!”

Hyungwon hopped on the empty stool beside Yoongi, ordering a whiskey on the rocks, before turning towards the two men. “How have you been doing, Jay-T?” He wiggled his eyebrows a little. “And you, Gloss?”

Yoongi threw up in his mouth a little.

Jaehyun groaned. “I told you not to call me that if I’m not on stage.”

Hyungwon grinned.

Yoongi perused his attire. A gaudy jacket with square prints made up of the letter F, leather jeans that didn’t look like it came from a discount store where Yoongi got his from, ugly spiky sneakers with red soles. Although the outfit was hideous, he did seem to appear loaded all of a sudden. Usually, Yoongi wasn’t one to pry, but this bastard made him uncomfortable so he guessed he could return the favour.

“Weren’t you broke last month? Did you rob a bank or something?”

Hyungwon smirked. “Nothing that extreme. I just happened to get lucky overnight.”

“So you won a couple games of poker, then?”, Jaehyun questioned.

“Nah. Not that kind of luck.”

Both Yoongi and Jaehyun stared at him expectantly. The smug fucker just laughed.

“I paid off all my back rent, plus two months advance. Got presents for my three girlfriends and made the first deposit on my Royal Enfield.”

“You wanna rub it in?” Jaehyun scowled, his middle finger saluting him as he picked up his shot and downed it.

“Jaehyun helped set up your first gig.” Yoongi guilt-tripped. Normally he wouldn’t care about some random fucker’s get-rich-quick schemes but these were desperate circumstances. “You owe him.”

The bartender brought Hyungwon’s drink. He paid for it in cash, noticing for the first time that Yoongi was neither drinking nor smoking. “Ah, why don’t you just admit it out loud? You need money. Can’t even afford a drink, can you?”

Yoongi flushed, squirming in his seat.

Hyungwon raised a brow, feigning surprise. “Aren’t you one of the best underground rappers out there? The next big star?”, he snickered. “Dreams not quite panning out?”

“Shut up, loser.”, Jaehyun snapped. “He’s got a big audition coming up in a few months. When he gets in, we’ll see who’s laughing.”

“With what company? SM, YG?”

Jaehyun grit his teeth to stop himself from strangling the man. “Bighit.”

“Never even heard of it.”

Yoongi cut in, not liking the two men talking about him as if he wasn’t there. “Not your concern. Just tell us how you made so much in a month.”

Hyungwon took a small sip of the whiskey, swallowing leisurely. He eyed the two men down as if they didn’t quite hold up to whatever judgments he was imparting in his mind. “It doesn’t matter anyway, you both are a bunch of pussies.

Jaehyun, infamous for his short temper, bristled. “What the fuck did you say, you cumstain?”

Yoongi held his arm, halting him before he stood up.

If they had put up with the asshole for so long, he was going to damn well make sure they got something out of it. Besides, he NEEDED to know how to get some quick cash. Jaehyun wasn’t aware of the extent of Yoongi’s destitution. What little money he made doing odd jobs and occasional gigs went to school fees and rent, whatever was leftover, if anything, went towards his music. Pretty soon even his daily diet of ramen was gonna go out of his budget.

“What do you mean a bunch of pussies? Are you selling your organs or something?”, Yoongi pressed.

Hyungwon snorted. “Close enough.”

Okay. Yoongi wasn’t that desperate. “What the fuck, dude!”

Jaehyun’s eyes went wide and sorrowful. A complete 180 from his ire two minutes ago. “Bro. You don’t have to do that, there are always other options. Selling your body isn’t the answer. Let me set up something for you, spare your kidneys, please—

“Shut up.” Hyungwon scowled. “I’m not selling my internal organs.”

Yoongi was confused. “What are you selling then?”

Hyungwon took an unconcerned sip. “My sperm.”

Yoongi was shocked into silence, while Jaehyun scrunched up his face like he’d just tasted the sourest lemon. “That’s equally as fucked up.”

“It’s not. It’s just cum.”, Hyungwon defended. “I’m getting paid handsomely to cum in a plastic cup. If that’s not the easiest money, I don’t know what is.”

“Yeah and that cum is probably in some middle-aged woman’s oven, baking your fucking babies.”

Hyungwon shrugged, not in the least bit concerned. “They’re not mine. Biologically maybe, but I got nothing to do with them apart from that. I’m not an idiot, I read all the terms and clauses. Legally, I’m not gonna be a father until I fuck a baby into someone.”

Jaehyun shook his head, not convinced. “That’s still fucked up.”

“Whatever.” Hyungwon rolled his eyes, finishing his drink. “As I said, a bunch of fucking pussies.”

Yoongi was in deep thought as he listened to the two argue intently. He ran a hand through his hair, sighing out his opinion, “That’s gonna be on your head forever, always at the back of your mind. That you’ve got kids out there who don’t even know you exist.”

“They’re not my kids.”, Hyungwon reiterated, done with the conversation as he spotted a busty bottle blonde leaning across the bar seductively. “Now if you pussies are done, I gotta go dole out my thousand dollar cum for free tonight. Charity turns me on.”

Jaehyun watched him approach the blonde with a grimace. “What a sleazy asshole.”

“He is.”, Yoongi agreed. “But I hadn’t ever thought you could make so much selling semen.”

“I don’t think the government recognised sperm banks offer so much. He must be going to some back alley place.”

Yoongi hummed. “Must be.”

A month after the encounter with Hyungwon at the club, Yoongi had never felt more downtrodden in his life. If he had sinned in his previous life, karma was working overtime. His pity party had been going on for a week now. Right from when he’d been kicked out of his apartment for nonpayment of three months’ rent, to when he’d turned up at his usual hangout with the underground scene just to find out his upcoming gigs had been given to a new rapper he hadn’t even heard the name of, to his bank calling him for payment of pending bills, to here. In a line with the homeless for some free food at a soup kitchen and shelter.

When he’d left home to chase his dreams, he’d never imagined that the road would be easy. He’d been prepared for ups and downs. But these weren’t just downs, these were never ending canyons that seemed to stretch on forever. He’d long since sold the music equipment he’d bought with his hard earned money to pay for school. With graduation so close, he hadn’t wanted to be expelled on top of being homeless. Jaehyun had offered to pay either his rent or tuition but Yoongi knew the guy was barely hanging on by a thread himself. He couldn’t ask for money from someone who barely had any to spare.

He heaved a sigh when the line finally moved. The woman in front of him, who looked like she’d been on crack for decades, gave him a glare for the impatient noise. He wanted to flip her off. He hadn’t eaten anything since lunch yesterday when the kind acquaintance who’s sofa he’d been crashing on had offered him a sandwich. Moreover, in about half an hour he had an interview with a pizzeria for a delivery guy position. He didn’t wanna pass out in front of his potential employers, his ticket out of homelessness. But if this line didn’t hurry up, he’d have to forego a meal, he didn’t want to be late.

Which was exactly what happened. Twenty minutes and the line barely moved a few feet, the bored volunteers taking their time serving the cold soup and stale bread.

After a few more minutes Yoongi cursed, his old wristwatch told him it was 3:56 pm. If he didn’t hightail it out of there he could kiss the job goodbye.

Fuck it.

Breaking the line, he sprinted out. The pizzeria was just two blocks away, he could make it in time if he ran. He didn’t have the money to catch a taxi anyway. And if he jaywalked a little, he could even have a few minutes to spare to change into the button down in his backpack. It was just a delivery position, but for him everything depended on it. He wanted to make a good impression.

And jaywalked he did. Right into the bumper of a speeding car.

The first few seconds, the lights were knocked out of him. When he came to, he did a mental survey of his body as he lay there on the pavement, a crowd forming around him. He didn’t feel any wetness, no blood then. Not a lot of excruciating pain either. Could it be that his stupidity had been spared or was he in hell already?

The murmurs of the crowd registered. A kind elderly man’s voice spoke somewhere above him. “Young man, are you okay? The ambulance is on its way. We don’t wanna touch you in case anything’s broken.”

Ambulance.

A sudden electricity zinged through his body, and Yoongi sat up, flinching when his shoulder screamed. There’s the pain.

“No ambulance.”, he grit out. He couldn’t have medical bills on top of everything right now.

As he reached up to push back the hair in his eyes, his watch gleamed. 4:09pm.

His shoulders sagged in defeat.

That night he sat with Jaehyun in his former apartment, drinking cheap soju his friend had scrapped together for him somehow. He’d told himself he deserved it after the day he’d had. Hell, the week he’d had. But somewhere inside him was a feeling of self loathing for wasting precious seconds not actively seeking to remedy his situation and stop relying on others.

Jaehyun had picked him up that afternoon when he’d refused any medical help. So now his arm was in a makeshift sling, painkillers and alcohol doing the job doctors were supposed to. He was pretty sure he’d torn a ligament or something. He didn’t know, he slept through all his biology classes.

On top of it all, it was his birthday tomorrow. He was turning 18, a legal adult. Not that it mattered, he’d been on his own since 15. Why did his life feel like it was ending when it had barely just begun?

“What if I do it?”, he hypothesised out of the blue. “Its gonna be quick and I just need to forget afterwards.”

Jaehyun frowned. “What are you talking about, my man?”

“Sperm donation.”

Jaehyun choked on his drink. “Yoongi! No, what the fuck!”

“Why not?”, Yoongi asked, his mind working overtime to justify something he’d never thought he’d need to. It was a given. “Its not like anybody would know. Well apart from you and me.”

“That’s not the point. You wanna have kids so young?”

Yoongi scowled into his glass. “I’m not the one who’s going to be having them.”

“Look, man. I think its just the alcohol talking—

“I’m not drunk.”

“—but I’m not gonna stop you if you think this is the only way out. Just know that you’re gonna regret it later.”

“Later.”, Yoongi muttered softly. “How I wish it’d be later already.”

Later that night, he dialed Hyungwon.

~•~•~

“Jaehyun was right. I regretted it the second the hangover dissipated. That was one of the worst days of my life, not counting the string of shit shows preceding it. I rushed back to the place as soon as I could. I returned the money, I hadn’t even taken it out of the envelope. They said the sample couldn’t be returned to me, but they’ll make sure it was out of the system.”

“Well, they lied.”, Sejin deadpanned, eyes narrowed as if figuring out a thousand ways around this situation already.

The rest of the boys, barring Seokjin, stared at Yoongi in awe. They sat around him on the living room couches, while he stood by the window, gazing at the Parisian skyline.

A far cry from the broken pavement, busted in windows and dilapidated buildings, the landscape of his late teens.

The boys had known the rapper had struggled a lot before joining bighit, but for it to be laid out in so much detail. A new respect for him shone in their eyes.

When Yoongi turned to face them, he was surprised to see no judgment on their faces, but he shouldn’t have been.

“So,”, Jin straightened up, clapping his hands. “Let’s lay this down, shall we? Yoongi donated sperm to a shady place in 2011, but returned the money and demanded it not be used. Since this sperm bank was likely illegal in the first place, they didn’t care to actually go through with his request. Then it somehow ended up in the fertility clinic he got the mail from. Which leads us to now, according to the mail, someone is probably pregnant with Yoongi’s child.”

“No, don’t say that.”, Yoongi shook his head, refusing to come to the obvious conclusion. “Don’t even imply it. I don’t have a kid out there but I do want all traces of my sperm out of any kind of bank.”

Namjoon peered at Yoongi with sympathy. “Hyung, they’re saying you’re eligible for another donation. Your previous sample was used already. According to my guesstimates, there’s 50% chance the woman they put it in, is pregnant.”

“Fuck your guesstimates.”

Jeongguk scratched his head. “But it’s been years since Hyung was 18. How is it getting used just now?”

Sejin answered him, not glancing up from his phone. “Google says preserved sperm can be used for upto 20 years after donation.”

Yoongi cursed.

Jeongguk was still confused, brows scrunched. “How? Won’t the baby be—“

“Don’t say it.”, Yoongi groaned.

“—20 years old then?”

A slap to the back of the youngest’s head sounded. Yoongi didn’t look to see who’d done the public service.

“What are you going to do, hyung?”, Jimin asked worriedly. “You could just let it be. Ignorance is bliss and all.”

Taehyung gasped in outrage. “How can you even suggest such a thing, Jimin? It’s his kid we’re talking about! He could be a parent!”

Yoongi growled. “Don’t say that.”

But Taehyung wasn’t finished with his sermon. “Even if there’s a minuscule chance of this actually being true, it’s his duty to care and provide for his offspring. Even if he or she is unwanted.”

Yoongi gazed at the darkening sky for divine intervention.

“Hold your horses, Taehyung-ah.”, Sejin stood up. “I messaged the magazine studio about a reschedule. The photoshoot will be before the concert tomorrow.”

No one said a word, everyone too preoccupied to be focusing on trifling things like photoshoots.

“As for this problem.”, Sejin continued, giving Yoongi a reassuring look. “Let me handle it. I’ll run a check on the place you mentioned and the fertility clinic. We can’t publicly sue anyone because one, donating to an illegal place would incriminate Yoongi as well and two, we can’t afford to have a word of this get out. But an anonymous tip to the police should do the job.”

“What about...”, Taehyung trailed off, not knowing how to mention the person who might be carrying Yoongi’s child.

“I’ll pull some strings, find out who it is. First, we need to know if they’re pregnant or not. We’ll go from there.”

Yoongi sighed, nodding. He supposed he could only hope and pray now.

~•~•~

“I can’t believe it. All your hopes and prayers came true. I’m so happy for you, noona.”

Taeyong gushed as he arranged his Staedtler coloured pencils on your desk, lining them on the upper edge of his sketch book perfectly. The illustrator was obsessive about having all his stationary in perfectly designated places before drawing.

“It still feels like a dream. When the doctor confirmed it yesterday, I almost passed out.”, you grinned, lovingly flipping through your manuscripts to the scenes you wanted illustrated.

Your friend turned to face you with a pout, his ethereal face glowing from the sunlight streaming through your windows. “You should have taken me with you, noona. I don’t like that you went alone.”

“It’s alright, Ty.”, you addressed him with the nickname he loved so much. On cue, his cheeks flushed adorably. “I was fine, just jittery with excitement.”

Taeyong grinned, mischief in his eyes. His boyish youthfulness struck you and not for the first time you thought about basing a playful character on him. He was a college student, an art major. You hired him because you loved his whimsical sketching style and his watercolour realism. Also, because you didn’t have the money or the patience to get more “professional” artists. From your previous experience, they often turned their noses at any extra input from the author. Taeyong, on the other hand, loved to have you by his side as he set about bringing your characters to life.

Most importantly, you hired him because he was kind of your muse, though you never let him know that. He teased you enough as it is.

“I will let you off the hook if you declare me his or her godfather.”

And you loved to tease him back.

“You’re 19 years old, you’re a kid yourself, Ty.” You giggled as he flew off into an outraged rant.

“Noona, I’ve told you a hundred times, I’m not a kid! You’re not that much older than me, I don’t know why you gotta put on motherly airs already. It’s been a day since you found out you’re pregnant. Pump the breaks. And don’t you dare try to experiment your parenting skills on me, I’m warning you—“

The ringing of your phone from your bedside table cut him off. You stretched to reach for it, still guffawing lightly at your friend.

It was an unknown number. You picked it up.

“Hello.”

A man’s voice answered you. “Hello, is this __?”

“Speaking.”

“Good afternoon, Miss.__. I’m Park Beomgyu from Tangent Publications. You might have heard of us. We are a graphic novel and manhwa publishing company, but we’re starting to venture into children’s fiction as well. Your work has caught our attention and we’d like to partner up with you for your next project. That is, if you’re interested.”

You stared wide eyed at Taeyong, who was starting to look worried at your dumbstruck expression.

Work had never come to your doorstep. You’d always had to go chasing for it.

“Miss, are you there?”

“Y-yes! I’m here. And yes, I accept.”

The man chuckled. “Not so fast, Miss. Let’s discuss it first. If you’re free tomorrow morning, can I set up a meeting with our editor at 10 am?”

You spoke before he could properly finish. “Yeah, totally. I’m free. Just let me know the address.”

“I’ll message it. Looking forward to meeting you.”

“Yeah, same here.”, you said lamely as he hung up, your heart beating crazily in your chest.

“Who was it?”, Taeyong questioned, coming to sit beside you.

You launched yourself at him with a squeal.

~•~•~

You weren’t surprised when the address led you to Gangnam’s busiest area, office buildings and corporate suits abound. Though you did feel nervous in your light blue tea-length chequered dress. You didn’t own any suits or even pencil skirts, always feeling a little insecure with figure-hugging attire.

You had done your research last night, having never heard of Tangent Publications before. Sprawled on your couch with your all-time favourite animation, Finding Nemo playing on your tv in the background, you had set up your laptop on a cushion. Not perching it on your stomach like you usually did, paranoid about harmful rays reaching your baby.

You were surprised at the search results. As the man on the phone mentioned, they did only publish manhwas and even webtoons, but these were about idols. Their most widely sold comics being about BTS’ concept storylines.

A little further digging revealed that the company was partially owned by Bighit entertainment and STIC investments, which also had stakes in the entertainment sector.

What mattered to you was that they were successful, which looking at their net profit, they were and they had good editors, which your searches confirmed.

You were feeling extremely lucky and happy that they chose you for their next venture. At the right time too, the first installment in your new series was almost done.

The friendly receptionist greeted you with a smile, immediately telling you the right floor when you gave her your name. You checked your appearance in the elevator mirror, making sure there was no food stuck in your teeth or wrinkle in your dress.

You alighted on the eighth floor, where another lady at the front pointed you to the right door. You knocked at exactly 10 am, feeling satisfied at your timing.

The heavy oak door opened, startling you. You thought someone would call you in.

A tall man in glasses smiled at you, opening the door wide. You stepped in as he introduced himself.

“Good morning,__-ssi. My name is Sejin.”

“Oh, good morning.” Not the editor google mentioned, but of course, there would be others in a big publishing company. “Are you one of the editors?”

Sejin closed the door, motioning you to the seat in front of his desk, answering you only when you both had sat down. “Yeah.”

You smiled. “Thank you so much for offering me this opportunity. I’m so flattered you chose me for your first foray into children’s literature.”

“Your work speaks for you, __-ssi. You’re incredibly talented.”, Sejin praised, leaning forward to set his elbows on the table and interlace his fingers. You interpreted the body language easily, he was all business.

“We’d like to offer you a 5 book deal. A complete series if you will. You can negotiate for more if you feel like 5 won’t be enough. We will leave the story’s concept, art and every other creative decision to you, except of course the editing and research help you’d require. As well as get you the illustrator of your choice.”

“I already have an illustrator, I’d like to retain him.”, you interjected though everything he said left you reeling. Was this a daydream?

Sejin nodded. “No problem. As a starting point, we’d like to offer you 100 million won per book, negotiable down the line and not including sales profits.”

Your jaw dropped. “Is this a prank?” You turned in your chair, looking for cameras. “Am I being pranked? If so, I don’t appreciate it.”

Sejin gave you a calm smile. “No, ma’am. You are not being pranked. You heard me correctly. 100 million won per book, not including profits.”

You laughed. A disbelieving sound. “I’m sorry but either you don’t know how to do business or you’re really sure these books are gonna sell like hot cakes. And although I do think I’m really good at what I do, children’s literature is no fantasy or science fiction. It doesn’t have a fanbase readership to buoy every new installment that comes out. I have learned this the hard way.”

“You didn’t have us before. With the right marketing, anything can sell well.”, he simply replied, dismissing your concerns.

“Okay.”, you took a deep breath, a sudden pressure on your shoulders, something nagging at your brain you were too preoccupied to figure out. “I’d like to see the contract first.”

“Sure.” Sejin produced a thick document from the desk drawer, flipping through it as he casually spoke. “You can take it home, mull it over, take your time coming to a decision. You’re pregnant, so I wouldn’t like to keep you here for long.”

You froze, blood leaving your face.

“What did you say?”, you whispered.

Calmly, Sejin looked up from the papers, briefly glancing behind you before meeting your eyes. He didn’t repeat himself, showing absolutely no reaction.

Goosebumps raised on your arms, your voice fearful as you asked, “How did you know that I’m having a baby?”

“Because it’s mine.”

Jumping out of the chair in fright, you spun around.

A stunningly attractive and familiar face was leaning against the closed door. You hadn’t even heard anyone come in.

Glancing back at Sejin, who’d stood up as well, you slowly extricated yourself from the tangle of chair legs, moving to the middle of the room to have direct access to the door, but the newcomer was blocking your exit.

Sejin approached him, whispering something you couldn’t hear. The man nodded, not breaking the critical gaze with which he regarded you.

He let Sejin leave, locking the door behind him.

“Is there a reason why I’m alone in a room with you? I will bring this whole building down with my screams if you don’t unlock that door and step away from it right now!”, you threatened.

He rolled his eyes. “The room’s soundproof.”

“You—”, you paused your scathing diatribe before it had even begun, cogs whirring, memory catching up. “You’re Min Yoongi.”

“Congratulations.”

Bewilderment swamped you. What the hell was going on? “What do you want from me?

“Absolutely nothing.” Yoongi ambled towards you with indolent grace, his eyes never leaving your befuddled ones. “You have something of mine, unwillingly given.”

“I have never even met you before. I don’t even like your music.”

Maybe that add-on wasn’t necessary, but you were feeling caged and on the defensive.

Yoongi pursed his lips, his censorious gaze roving up and down your form. “Yeah, we don’t make music for the likes of you.”

You bristled. What the heck did that mean? You didn’t want to ask. “Thanks for sparing me. I still don’t see how I could possibly have anything of yours.”

“You’re pregnant and it’s mine.”

“I’m pregnant, yes, but what’s yours?”

Yoongi scowled. “You’re gonna make me say it, huh?”

“Say what?”

“I’m the father. You’re carrying..”, he seemed reluctant to continue but did, scowl deepening. “..my child.”

You faked a laugh, amused but more concerned for the unhinged man in front of you. “No, I’m not. Maybe you have amnesia or something, this is the first time I’m seeing you in person. Usually, your tetchy self only greets me from magazines and subway ads.”

“Don’t try to sound smart.__. You don’t.”, he parried. “The thing with artificial insemination is that the lonely women who get it, often don’t know who’s baby they’re carrying.”

For the second time, you tensed with trepidation. They had entirely too personal information on you. It didn’t make any sense, none of what he was saying did. “Why do you know that?”

You glared at him when he smirked.

“Ran a background check on you. Single, 27-year-old, children’s fiction writer, who’s been trying for pregnancy at different clinics for a year now. Bank balance is at an all-time low, the previous publisher isn’t picking up any of your new work. A string of failed relationships behind you because of your desire to have a child so early. Most of the time you hang around some college-aged kid who also does artwork for you, apart from that you don’t have many close friends. You stay at—”

“Shut up!”, you fumed, feeling really violated. The nerve of this man. He didn’t look the slightest bit bothered with his words. “You’re a celebrity, aren’t you? Don’t you guys scream privacy at every unsolicited photo, every personal detail revealed to the public? Your hypocrisy is alarming.”

“I will let you know one thing. Guilt is not an emotion I feel. The two situations aren’t even remotely comparable.” He stepped closer, his all-black attire striking against the white of the room. He looked like an irritated bat who’d been disturbed from his hibernation.

“Don’t interrupt me.”, he commanded. “I had to know what type of person my sperm had been,” he coughed, gaze drifting away for a second. “..used on.”

“Your...?”, you trailed off, still not connecting the dots. What he was implying was preposterous, it couldn’t possibly be that.

It was exactly that.

His voice was dispassionate when he explained, his countenance inscrutable, he was a master at masking every emotion. “A sample of my semen which was sent for regular health checkups was misplaced by a lab technician, accidentally labeled for donation to a sperm bank. I got to know about it when your fertility clinic sent me an email.”

You swallowed harshly. “They put it in me?”

Yoongi scrunched his nose. “Unfortunately.”

Did he have to sound so repulsed? You stepped back, only speaking when you’d somewhat processed your predicament.

You gave him a sympathetic frown. Best to go with understanding, you didn’t want a confrontation. It was a delicate situation which, if you wanted to weasel out of, you’d need some tact.

“That is unfortunate. I’m sure you must feel very frustrated. But I signed very hefty paperwork, before going in for treatment. And it said that the donor would have no legal right over the child, unless there’s a mutual agreement. I’m sorry but I have no obligation towards you and this is my child only.”

Yoongi’s gaze flickered to the hand you placed on your belly. He bit the inside of his cheek and you had the sneaking suspicion he didn’t give a flying fuck what your obligations were.

“I’m going to make myself very clear ___. I don’t want your apology. The people responsible for this mess are paying for it, don’t worry. But if you think that I’m gonna roll over politely and let you scamper off with what’s mine, you have another thing coming.”

Your blood boiled and you hurled towards him. He didn’t show any surprise when you poked his hoodie-clad chest angrily.

Fuck tact.

“I didn’t ask for this, you asshole. I’ve been waiting for this moment my entire fucking life and no dickwipe with a huge ego just because he can spit some words is gonna fuck it up for me.”

Yoongi blinked. “You swear too much for a children’s author, no wonder your sales are tanking.”

“Shut the fuck up!” You dug the pointer finger deeper in his chest.

He winced, clasping your wrist. “Okay, is this the right time to tell you that I was gonna suggest an abortion in exchange for the book deal?”

Panic swamped you, anger disappearing for a huge dose of terror. You clutched the fabric covering your tummy, a clawing need to run and protect your baby blanketing you. No one was going to take him or her away from you, not when you’d toiled your last penny and pinned your every hope on this baby.

“Hey.” Suddenly Yoongi crowded you, gently grasping your shoulders. “Hey, breathe please.”

His words made you aware of your lungs screaming for air, short, staccato breaths making you lightheaded.

“Breathe in for me.”, he guided and you obeyed, looking into his worried eyes to ground yourself. “And breathe out. Again. Just like that. You’re alright.”

A hand at your back guided you to the chair you’d previously occupied and you flopped down on it gratefully. Yoongi hunched over you, roving his searching eyes over your face for more signs of panic.

“I was joking. Partially.”, he bit his bottom lip, and strangely you found the action alluring. “I knew someone who worked so hard to reach this point, wouldn’t even entertain the notion.”

You glowered at him, annoyance dimming for surprise when you noted how close he was, his hands resting on the arms of the chair. He didn’t seem to notice it though.

“It’s very highhanded of you to even think about such a thing. No amount of money can replace a life.”

His eyes softened, the first genuine smile from him peeking through. If you didn’t know how much of an asshole he was, you’d think he was the most beautiful man you’d ever seen.

“You’d be surprised how many people would disagree.”

“I’m sure you would.”

He nodded, having no problem admitting it. “Can you blame me? I’m at the peak of my career right now, this has all the makings of my fall from grace. Besides, I didn’t want children, ever.”

“Didn’t?”, you questioned his use of past tense.

He shrugged, straightening up and letting you relax a little from his heady presence. “You gotta roll with the punches.”

You hadn’t unclasped your hand from your dress, the fabric covering your stomach wrinkling horribly. “What is that supposed to mean?”

You dreaded it, but what he said wasn’t unexpected.

“I want shared custody.”

Never.

“No.” You brought down the hammer.

“Yes.”

“No.”

“I’m not gonna be an absent father, __”

“That’s alright.”, you threw back, absolutely done with this conversation. “You don’t have to be any kind of father.”

Slowly, so gracefully you didn’t even notice it at first, Yoongi hunched back over you, now impossibly closer. You leaned back as far as possible but you could tell two things, that his cologne was expensive and it smelled delicious as fuck.

“Then who’s gonna be the father?”, he asked quietly. You gulped.

“I- the- I mean no one. Single moms do just fine.” And because he started to move off of you and you were secretly a glutton for punishment, as well as for men who smelled mouth-watering, you added, “My future husband...”

You trailed off at the tick in his jaw.

He raised a brow. “How fucking cute. Too bad your domestic dreams are never coming true,__. What’s mine is mine. No other man is going to be the father of my child. Over my fucking dead body.”

You almost said, “then perish”, but he stood up, grasping your upper arm to help you up as well. He was incredibly gentle with you, a stark contrast to the verbal barbs he inflicted every time he opened his mouth.

For example:

“We’re also going to have to get a DNA test done.”

Before you could implode in his face, he interlocked your fingers with his, tenderly releasing your death grip on your dress. His other hand came up to push a strand of your hair behind your ear and hook your chin up.

You were blindsided. Rage and fluttering heart palpitations a weird combo.

“Don’t lose a fuse over it now. I think you’ve got enough on your mind already. Go home, sleep it off, we’ll talk when you’re feeling more level headed.”

It really shouldn’t have surprised you that he’d turn this into some sort of reverse psychology “I’m only looking out for you” situation, making you the unreasonable one for feeling, very justifiably, enraged at his imperiousness.

But you did really want to sleep it off, your newly changing body demanded you recharge from this draining encounter already. You sagged in his arms, letting him support you.

Yoongi smirked at your body’s compliance and you wanted to slap it off.

“How did you get here? Did you drive?”

You shook your head. “Took the subway, then walked.”

Yoongi peered at the heels on your feet, irritation flaring on his face. “For someone so adamant on having a baby, you’re already putting your health on the line, huh?”

There he fucking goes again.

“It’s none of your business.”, you said curtly.

He raised a challenging brow. “The baby you’re carrying is my business.”

His high handedness knew no bounds.

He pulled out his phone. “I’m going to call a driver to take you home.”

“No need.”

“It wasn’t a question.”

You grit your teeth, biting your tongue as he led you to the door. Just a few more seconds in his presence, then TO FREEDOM.

He opened the door.

And three men tumbled inside on top of each other, the momentum making them fall on the floor in a heap.

You winced.

“What the fuck?!”, Yoongi growled, his resting death scowl back with a vengeance. “Were you three fuckheads eavesdropping?”

The men immediately stood up, fixing their clothing. The one at the bottom of the heap winced when the one above him used him as support.

You recognised all of them. His bandmates. Although you weren’t their fan, you were still a little starstruck. The cameras didn’t do their faces justice. You shrunk behind Yoongi, a little intimidated at so much testosterone surrounding you. Prime specimen of the male species too. If you weren’t already pregnant, your ovaries would be tingling with primordial urges.

Then they all spoke at the same time.

“You wouldn’t let us come with you!” Taehyung.

“It’s all Taehyung’s doing hyung, we just wanted to make sure he didn’t get in any trouble.” Jeongguk.

“We?! What the fuck, don’t include me in your schemes. You guys dragged me here!” Jimin.

Yoongi pinched the bridge of his nose and you prepared for another of his already infamous searing rebukes. You wanted popcorn to watch these three guys get thoroughly chastened.

Taehyung just held up his hand, stopping the elder even before he began. “Calm down, hyung. We’re not here for you.”

Your jaw dropped. He shut Yoongi up with a hand. You wanted to worship at this guy’s shrine.

Then he peered around Yoongi to look at you, giving you a shy smile. “Hello,__. I’m Taehyung.”

Wow, Yoongi and his bandmates were night and day. This guy reminded you of Winnie The Pooh while Yoongi was Cruella de Vil personified.

When you didn’t say anything, Taehyung frowned with worry, turning accusing eyes at Yoongi.

“Hyung, you upset her.”

Yes, he did, Pooh.

Yoongi raised an unconcerned brow. “And? Why the fuck are you here again?”

“Would you stop with the swearing, there’s a child in the room.”, Taehyung reprimanded and your worshipful impulses grew.

Jeongguk scowled.

Jimin nudged him. “Not you, idiot.”

Taehyung came towards you with a placating smile, likely sensing the damage Yoongi had done. “I can drop you home. There’s a really good gelato shop a block from here. If you want we can stop there. Ice cream fixes everything.”

You nodded immediately, letting your guardian angel lead you out of the room with a hand at your back.

You didn’t spare Yoongi’s disbelieving face another look.

A/n: Taehyung will make a more proper appearace in the next chapter. Do let me know what you thougt, feeback keeps me writing.

#bts smut #bts imagines #bts fic #yoongi smut #taehyung smut #yoongi angst #taehyung angst #pregnant reader #young x pregnant reader #taehyung x pregnant reader #sperm donation #baby you're bad #Indian readers did you get the shoutouts?#back from hiatus #writing is a little rusty

4K notes · View notes

moonraccoon-exe · 5 years ago

Note

Hi, Connie. I know it's been a while since you did any headcanons and idk if you still do them, but I'm curious of your opinion. I realize the wall is one giant quarantine bubble, but the people are still free to do as the please inside it. How do you think each of the chocobros would handle an Insomnia-wide quarantine like what's going on in most of the world right now? What if one of them got sick (assuming a FFXV equivalent of COVID-19?) How would Regis, as King, take care of his people?

PS: Aparently the Keep Reading line is having some troubles. May appear right under the question (how did it get THERE?) or nowhere at all lol pls forgive tumblr he trying.

HEEEEEEEEEELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It’s definitely been a while since I did any headcanons, but that’s because school has kept me busy like crazy, and when I have spare time, I put it into my two big fanfics going on (I don’t want people to wait too much!) but I’ll definitely keep doing these, every single one of them, until I finish, even if it takes me years and years <3

The ask prompts are one of my favorite things in the world so of course I’ll keep them going!

HOH

YOUR PROMPT IS SUPER INTERESTING!!!!! AYYYYY, let’s see what this raccoonie brain has there!!

FFXV Insomnia in a quarantine

First things first, the government

Regis, as King:

Regis is going all the way into making sure EVERYONE can stay home.

Regis is going to ask the other countries to lend Lucis money. As in. M I L L I O N S.

“Your Majesty, you ARE aware we’re nowhere half to repaying that debt in a near future?”

“THIS IS A LITERAL PLAGUE WITH NO CURE YET THAT’S KILLING DOZENS SOME OF WHICH THEIR FAMILIES CAN’T SAY GOODBYE TO AND YOU W O R RY A B O UT T HE E C O NO M Y ¿¿¿? ?!??”

Regis has brain and, most importantly, humanity. He’s definitely going to put the country in debt for the next 15 kings is that helps people right now.

Mostly because he’s aware it’s no one’s fault.

Regis is announcing what he’s going to do to keep people safe publicly:

The next three months of any loans are forgiven. Mortgage, rent, water, electricity, and all the public services will be free for the next three months. If you own any debts, be it a house or a little clock, you don’t have to pay on the next 3 months, and instead that amount will be divided into future months in small amounts so it’s recovered in the medium or long run. No one needs to spend one gil in any of the basics, don’t worry about that, it’s covered, government’s got you, SO PLEASE STAY HOME.

Regis is aware that some people can’t stay home because what little they earn is what they spend in basic food; Regis is going to spend lots of the money he burrowed in them.

Regis is going to pay as well to teachers and artists for online classes and entertainment, because he’s aware of the mental/emotional distress people can be in after certain time indoors.

Regis is going to put most the money in the medical and cleaning services.

Regis is going to keep online and phone polls for people to fill in particular cases (I still need to go out because I need to go look after my mother each friday, I still need to go out because I need to go get medicines each certain time at this district) so the Citadel’s intel know best what to do.

Regis is going to make sure to have teams sanitizing public transport and places everyday.

Regis is a no-game man, dammit.

((Regis is the reason Insomnia only needed three months before being free))

Makes sure the media broadcasts not only the death cases, but also and most importantly the healed cases. Not gonna let the media get stupid with this for money or paranoia, no sir

Noctis, as prince

DID YOU THINK HE WAS JUST GOING TO MOP, THIS IS THE PRINCE

(Remember the game tells us he was a damn good prince as in politically? what a bean <3)

Noct was taken more off guard; Regis acted immediately like a (good) madman, Noctis still needed a bit to process it

Noct is who comes up with some ideas that Regis puts into action (the phone/online polls, the online classes, for example)

Noct too manages some of the intel going on during quarentine to see how the city is progressing and how else they can help.

Noctis is in charge of the interviews along the...health minister (?) everyday, while Regis stays at work and intel.

Noctis makes sure to do a livestream each certain days to greet the people, answer questions, or just have a bit of fun, and to remind them to stay home and to keep the spirits up. We know Noct would rather rot in boredome in his sofa because Sleepy Boy, but he knows the effect he has on his people, so he does the livestreams for them; to keep them entertained, informed, and simply to keep them sane.

Noctis came up with the idea of making an app/text service for those that suffer of domestic violence; “staying home” sounds easy to him because he has a huge house and a good family, but he’s aware that not do everyone.

(Putting a keep reading here)

Noctis

Sleeps it away lmao

Honestly Noct doesn’t have much troubles with the whole “stay home” thing. He likes home. He LOVES staying home. LET HIM STAY EVEN AFTER QUARENTINE IS OVER.

Noct has videogames and his bed. You don’t need to tell him twice to stay home.

Noct sleeps most of the day.

Noct decides to not shower everyday.

The only trouble Noct goes through is that his room starts getting super messy everyday and Ignis isn’t going to appear to help him out.

Noctis spends his time doing homework and mumbling about how “teachers didn’t use to give us this much homework until quarentine, this is just their excuse goddammit fuck this shit”

I feel you Noct

Besides that, videogames, trash food, and sleeping.

It’s 9 pm, he’s in pajamas. That he hasn’t taken off in three days.

It’s 6 am and Noct is out of bed. He hasn’t slept since 2 am.

What is this guy’s sleep schedule.

Despite the careless and carefree attitude, Noct still worries. He still has to stay the most informed, as the prince, of the international and national situation, and it sometimes gets stressful.

When Noct sees numbers grow and a gloomy future, he gets stressed but won’t say it; that careless attitude is his way of coping. Like pretending it’s not true.

Noct worries about the poor, too, and the low and working class. He too came up with more ideas along with Regis to keep them safe too and not force them to work while the middle and upper classes stay indoors like it’s not the big deal.

Noct thinks a lot about Prompto. He knows he doesn’t need to go out too much, but he also knows how much of a terribly, horribly emotional distress Prom is in when staying at his house for too long.

Noct takes up on video-phoning Prom, everyday. His best boy can’t be sad, stressed, or messed up, and he’s going to keep him sane and cheer him up everyday.

Noct may or may have not ended up inviting Prompto to spend quarentine at the Citadel with him. He hadn’t finished saying it when Prom was already at the Citadel’s door asking to be sanitized before going in.

If he got sick, everyone around him would be more scared than him LMAO

“OHNOTHEPRINCEISILLHE’SGOINGTODIEIAMNOTREADYFORTHISNOOOOOOOOO”

Noct: so can I skip online school like this?

He’d be looked after with almost paranoia, there’s only two of the Lucis Caelum alive and honestly losing the heir and only one that can have kids at this point to the virus woulnd’t be very epic on history books

Noct IS worried, just pretending he’s not.

Noct is going to avoid Regis LIKE A PRO. He’s going to ask to live somewhere else, will ask to sanitize his room and keep it locked, will ask that Regis gets nowhere near ANY of his belongings. Basically, Noct is going CRAZY over avoiding Regis...so Regis doesn’t catch it :’’(

What a pure bean

Even if Regis tries visiting him, and even if the whole place is sanitized and like a little bubble away of the rest of the world, Noct will still not want him to come inside.

Honestly, this is going to make Regis really, deeply sad and maybe even hurt. He wants to stay positive, but he keeps thinking of what if Noct dies to it, and not only dies, he’d also die without having held him for a last time or seen him.

They meet through the window. They phone each other and just touch through the closed window... :’) </3

Noct knows he may be over protecting Regis, but he’s honestly not going to have it any other way. He has way more than enough watching his old man grow old too fast from the Ring to run the risk of giving him this stupid virus. If he has to make his old man sad in order to keep him healthy, SO BE IT.

Ignis

He’s fine.

He’s just so cool with this.

“Ah, of course. A plague. It was our turn, as was expected.”

...w...what are you talking about, Ignis.

He’s barely impressed.

Master of following instructions, they told Ignis to stay home and THAT he did.

The store? The neighbor? Just an inch outside his main door? NO. THAT’S NOT INDOORS.

It’s not that he’s paranoid, he’s just not bothered by the idea fo not going out and he knows that the more he stays home the faster this will pass that he just. Stays in, sometimes not even looking out the window for a day or two.

Ignis still phones Noct each two days to remind him his room is messy do something because I won’t, or do nothing, the cockroaches will help you with the crumbs and leftovers in a day more.

Ignis isn’t bored. He still has home office and paperwork to do, the poor, young, miserable thing.

In his spare time he likes doing stuff he likes, as he normally didn’t have the time to do.

Ignis is making sure to call the other chocobros to make sure they’re ok. He’s particularly attentive to Prompto.

Boy is having video calls with Gladio because Best Friends.

Ignis attempts to do as your raccoonie; will try to finish two-week worth of his paperwork in one or two days t o have the rest of the time free LMAO

(I hope, unlike me, he’s succeeding at that)

Ignis worries mostly about others and the outside Lucis. He takes up on the advantage of being bros with the prince to suggest something, that Noct can suggest to Regis to make it better for as many people as possible.

If he got sick, he’d attend hospital and not go out until he’s 100% okay AND spent 2 weeks with no fall back into it.

He’d thank the doctors and nurses like every five minutes honestly. Iggy appreciates they’re doing such high risk job, keeps admiring them. Dammit.

He would accept no visits. Is it the prince? tell him to FUCK OFF.

Mostly the throne family Ignis won’t dare visit even after he’s healed.

“IGNIS IT’S OK YOU’VE BEEN FINE FOR A MONTH”

“TALK TO ME WHEN QUARENTINE IS OVER AND/OR THERE IS A VACCINE, GET THE FUCK OFF MY FRONT YARD”

Ignis is not overly worried about the illness. He has stupidly strong defenses and can see himself getting out of this. He worries just what’s normal but keeps spirits up with all the numbers of healed cases.

Go Iggy!

Gladio

Surprisingly, he’s taking this really well.

Gladio’s sort of more scared than the rest at the news; he was so prepared for physical enemies, the idea of an abstract, non-physical one suddenly sweeps him off his feet.

But he handles it well. So long he doesn’t watch the news.

Gladio won’t listen or read the news on the virus; he’s aware of it, he’ll take care and be careful, but he won’t read or hear numbers or updates, he’ll just live this out until it’s over.

Gladio takes his mind off it with indoor exercising, lots of it.

Gladio’s job was mostly physical, so he takes on the advantage that he has nearly no chances of home office to do stuff he likes; mostly, this nerd will drown in history documentaries on KupoTube, will watch the equivalent of Disney and Dreamwork movies, will read like the world is ending, and will take up on online courses.

He likes crafts. Okay? Leave him alone and let him give his baby steps into watercolor painting.

Gladio is video calling Noctis. To force him to exercise LMAO

“OY, NOCT, THIS IS PRE-RECORDED, DO YOU THINK I’M AN IDIOT? COME BACK HERE TO YOUR COMPUTER OR IT’LL BE WORSE”

Gladio is holding back a Desperate-To-Go-Out Iris.

She’s not irresponsible, she just HATES INDOORS LET ME GO OUT IT’LL BE JUST AROUND THE BLOCK

Gladio’s not letting Jared go ANYWHERE

“SOMETHING HAPPENS TO YOU AND I DIE, YOU STAY HERE, I’LL GO BUY GROCERIES AND DON’T YOU DARE GET ANYWHERE NEAR ME AFTER I’M BACK UNTIL I’VE SHOWERED”

Gladdy it’s ok :’)

A bit paranoid when it comes to others, though will still be a bit paranoid about himself.

Gladio is mostly calm about it; just a few times every now and then he’s stressed and a bit too troubled for an easy sleep.

Video calls Iggy every day because Best Friends.

Iggy keeps him sane, the baby :’(

Honestly, Gladio also makes sure that Ignis is ok. Ignis is always looking after all other three, but Gladio is who’s most aware of looking after Ignis. Ignis won’t say it, but he’s probably feeling very lonely after a month indoors, as his family won’t pay much attention to him. Gladio’s making sure to keep him happy, distracted, and in good spirits, and in company.

If he got sick, he’d probably have a very bad emotional time at first.

Gladio would cry and think nearly for sure that he’s dead already.

Not like in drama, he would seriously get sad and be very, very scared :’(

Same than Noct, he wouldn’t let Clarus near him or any of his belongings, nor Jared. Not Iris either, of course, but he worries more for the older men.

Gladio would probably not do very well emotionally in hospital. He’d spend there the necessary time, but then he would probably like most to be in an apartment for himself if available or in his room without letting anyone near.

Gladio will keep thinking of the chances to live or die, of how scary the idea of a virus with no cure is, will get really gloomy and negative on it.

His family try to provide emotional support, but every time they call Gladio just drowns himself in ideas like what their family would do if he died and it just makes him sadder

The doctors and Iggy are what keep his spirits up, to be honest.

The sadness lasts the first days. AFter that, Gladio’s going to handle the ilness like a DAMN WARRIOR

“YOU INJECT THAT THING, DOC, BRING IT ON”

A new treatment and the consequences are unsure? BRING IT ON.

Whatever it is, Gladio’s HEAD IN FOR IT

Baby boy just needed some time to process it. After that he’s just taking it so lightheartedly, even the doctors get cheered up at his bright attitude towards it.

“You’ve progressed on a 1%”

“HELL YEAH ONE PERCENT!!!!!!!!!!! :D”

What a beautiful boy omg

Prompto

This one is the chocobro that REALLY gets hit by quarentine.

Prompto’s not hyperactive, he can stay indoors if they ask him to...the problem is his house.

Prompto gets easily anxious staying at home for too long. He spent his childhood locked away in there, isolated. No parents, no friends, nothing. He stayed locked away in what was the toughest moments of his life. He doesn’t hate indoors, he hates indoors at his house. It brings all of that back.

Prompto’s trying to keep all the lights on to make it less like in his childhood; gets easily guilty remembering the huge debt the King put himself into so he doesn’t have to pay for electricity and now he’s wasting it.

Prompto gets easily anxious around food nowadays. Remembers it was staying indoors doing but eat what got him so fat and lonely.

(Prommy it’s ok, fat is not bad :(( this poor angel )

Honestly Prompto’s so busy emotionally stressing over being indoors at his house that the pandemic in the world isn’t even super concerning, it’s just as if there was a storm outside; he knows it’s bad and that not everyone can stay safe from it, but he’s just worried in his own situation at home.

His parents get to stay indoors with him for home office, which is as good as it is bad.

For some reason it’s not so comforting because it makes Prompto think of how absent they used to me. For some reason, it also IS comforting because unlike his childhood, at least they’re there now.

Prompto tries to make the best out of this and tries bonding with them when they’re not busy.

It actually works <3 They don’t get overly emotional or anything but they get to spend some good time together, watch movies, talk more, etc.

It helps Prom with the food issue that Dad does the cooking this time.

Good as his parents are with him during quarentine, it’s home, like the physical place what keeps gnawing at his emotional health.

Prom is going to try EVERYTHING to keep himself distracted.

Iggy phones him constantly, which helps a lot. Noct videocalls him everyday, which really keeps him up.

Prom is taking BUNCHES of online courses and classes, bECAUSE THIS BOY LOVES DOING AND LEARNING STUFF

Week 6 of quareantine, Prompto has made his own jacket out of kitchen towels. It’s...actually impressive.

If he got sick, he too would be paranoid.

More than sad, Prompto would be openly scared and nervous.

EXTRA

The chocobros as a Four:

They’re having online video parties and meetings.

The four got a pizza each. They’re video meeting, and pretending it’s the same pizza lol

“YOU ATE THE LAST SLICE HOW DARE YOU, I TOLD YOU I WANTED IT!!! >:’‘(”

The guys are showing their quarentine achievements to each other.

“Look, I’ve let my feet nails long because I don’t need shoes anymore and I shaped them like I’m a dragon haha”

“Oi look, I learned a new trick with my yo-yo”

“Look how GREASY my hair is right now haha. what do you mean if I’m attending the national interview later like this, of course I am”

The chocobros are sending each other online courses that they think the others or one of them will like

They’re having one of those online movie in different computers together.

Also multiplayer games because they can.

Ignis wins every time.

The chocobros are playing a 4-members Squad mode in Battle Royale games. Noct and Prom are okay. Ignis is the Pro. Gladio is the bait.

Iris:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Cor:

Cor is surprisingly calm about this.

Cor is spending his time meditating.

Cor has barely any paperwork, as his work is mostly physical, so he gets a lot of time free with Regis’ politics for a proper literally-no-need-to-go-out politics. Meditation that is.

Cor is phoning Prompto each now and then, too.

Prompto would answer happily that he’s fine and with no virus. Cor finally once tells him he’s not asking if he’s ok about the virus. Prom needed no more explanation and just said he was ok, if a little sad.

Cor is working out at home.

Cor is getting bored.

Cor is reading, watching series, or meditating, or cooking just for the sake of it.

Cor just has one problem. He’s a workaholic. You give him no work, this man starts slowly having a meltdown and descent into the abyss of madness. He needs to die of stress, how else do you expect him to live?

The first weeks were fine. After the first few weeks Cor starts getting anxious about needing work to do.

Cor you stupid thing

Cor is starting to get distracted in meditation because he keeps getting anxious about working in something.

Cor starts phoning Regis.

“Do you have any paperwork for me now?”

This is every two days.

Regis COULD have given him something. Regis doesn’t. Cor needs to learn to know how to be AT PEACE FOR FUCKING ONCE.

Cor is making paperwork up to work on lol

Cor was diagnosed with the virus. They put the virus in quarentine for its safety.

#ffxv #chocobros #ffxv headcanons #final fantasy xv imagine #coonanswers #coonheadcanons #AYE BOY THIS WAS NICE TO ANSWER #hopefully i can nail some more around these times <3 #I'm really trying to turbo do my homework...not working so far but im trying lol #noctis #ignis #gladio #regis #prompto #cor

106 notes · View notes

spiritarcticclawsw · 4 years ago

Photo

Hiiiieeee it's my birthday, and idk what to post, so have a bunch of pics 'n stuff hahaha. Some of 'em is just art I and pics I like and some I took today because we drove around lol. UwU . Birthday thoughts My life’s changed. A lot. If you’ll notice, my insta posts/YouTube/social media posting has been a lot more sporadic. I’m not giving up on what I want. But I know now I was trying to do something I didn’t have the skill to do yet. I was trying so hard to push myself when I’m not there yet. . I’m taking it easy, for now. Life’s tough, and I shouldn’t make it tougher by overworking and stressing myself to keep a schedule I can’t even make. I know in the end my life will work out, because I’ve looked into the past to see my life weave together in such a wondrous and magnificent way to bring me here. I have good ideas, I make good art and in time I’ll get those ideas out. But right now I need to focus on bettering myself and taking life one day at a time. Focusing on what I’m doing here and now. . It's gonna be tough to force myself to do more than scroll through tiktok all day and look for motivation, but I will. I'll do it all at my own pace, there's enough time. Even though the world seems like it's crashing down around me there's enough time. And I'm so excited for it. . If I'm being real over the last year I've watched every plan I thought I had for myself disintegrate in the best way possible. I'm not scared of the future anymore. I thought I wanted one thing and one thing only. And now I know there are a million things I want. A million dreams keeping me awake. I am so so so thankful for all my friends, @skith.gael , @ukulelelily , @_soggy_bagel_ , @mother_mothh , @guacamoleatnight , @anxietymemes999 , and a bunch of online friends from the @queerchristianfamilyvalues discord for taking this wild ride with me. . I know it's a lot, I'm a lot, but I hope what I can give to you in the near future makes it worth the wait. We'll get there, we are getting there. . We're almost there. . And thank you to all of you for following me. It's a bit tough to wrap my head around the idea that 300 people saw my work, liked it, and followed. (at Lakemont, Georgia) https://www.instagram.com/p/CMNwZ9QpGEA/?igshid=1hu4y0lcgqo86

2 notes · View notes

heartfucksmouth · 4 years ago

Text

is life really this chaotic for everyone or is it really just the fuckin path I chose to be born into?

I think I know the answer and I just choose to pretend I dont.

hey tumblr. its Wednesday. I have a lot of phone calls to make again because my medical shit can never go smoothly. still havent heard about an MRI, so I guess I'll be calling tomorrow after therapy. have to schedule an eye exam too bc uuhhhh my right eye is getting really fucked up and I'm a little freaked out.

I scheduled my blood draw for the HEDGE study. that's kind of weird.

oh and I have a new car now. yeah. it's my nana's and it's a long story and I dont like to talk about it bc I dont enjoy "taking handouts" or receiving 'gifts' of this nature bc I dont think I'm deserving of it, even though her and my parents all agreed I should have it bc it's in better shape than my car and has better features for my comfort and I'm probably never going to be able to afford a new car again when they all die haha, idk. what's good is my insurance wont change much bc it's only one year newer than my car but has a bunch less miles on it. sigh, yeah talking about it literally makes me want to throw up bc I literally feel like I dont deserve it hahahahha this is awful to experience and um the future feels like it's starting to not exist again as much as I want it to.

anyways, my friends dog got attacked again by an unleashed dog for the second time in two months while she was "walking" it down a road in her neighborhood. I say walking bc the dog was walking but she uses an electric wheelchair for distances. I'm really fucking upset by this situation bc both times no one would help her or her dog. So my friend's dog was still on leash scared and defending herself and had turned and bit the unleashed dog on the chest bc the unleashed dog had jumped on her back. the owner of the unleashed dog actually came over and started BEATING my friend's dog with a stick and then the owner's sister joined in, screaming at my friend to get HER dog off their dog. when the dogs finally separate, they screamed at my friend for letting her dog hurt their dog.

hello.

hello. hello? HELLO?!

do any smart dog owners exist anymore? do any smart people exist anymore?

you berate a motherfucking woman in a wheelchair who is walking her damn leashed dog down a public road bc your shit ass cant CLOSE YOUR GATE or train your dog with commands?! bruh.

I will throw so many hands. I will grow more hands JUST to throw them at your face. fuck you, you dont deserve that fucking dog.

thankfully my friend's dog is okay. we video chatted and she looked much better after a bath and was in good spirits. better than the last time this happened.

anyways.... other stuff happened, like the baby bunnies that zaiyah found are still safe and growing. they should be big enough in 3 weeks to leave the nest, I guess. she is obsessed and wants to be their mom and it almost breaks my heart. she watches the nest every chance she gets.

its baby snapper season as well, I guess, which seems off to me but I'll double check. we found one and helped it make its journey towards the pond. it buried itself in the mud right near the edge which is a good hiding spot, I'd say. there were geese and other creatures hanging around. hope it has a nice and long life ahead.

this post is already all over the place so I'm just gonna end it here. I feel very exasperated about life overall and I'd like to just. not.

#personal #violence tw #animal abuse tw #just in case idk #sorry i forgot tags at first my head is spinnnninnnnn #long post

1 note · View note

vio1315 · 4 years ago

Text

Mmmm aa, life update I guess

So I quit my job. Last day is on the 24th cuz I wanted to stick around for them for the rest of the holiday season

A lot has basically gone on and I forget how much I have or haven’t said about it, but basically the issue of being shortstaffed is too great

I want less hours because I physically and mentally can’t be doing near full time for this long, but it’s just not possible

I think I mentioned before but we are having the busiest Christmas season, I’d say busier than last year, but two of our registers are broken and one is considered too close to the line to use for social distancing, so we only have 5 operational registers and that’s when we even have enough staff to run those. The wait time in line is like an hour and a half consistently this last week and def for each weekend, employment is like a revolving door because despite being very difficult because of all this we only pay like 10 an hour when businesses next to us do 13-15 an hour

And this is because (likely) while it is a stingy place we also lose thousands of dollars a month (likely tens of thousands) to blatant theft, and we only have 1 loss prevention worker and he’s heavily restricted in what he can do (though he works extremely hard so they better treat him well)

And everything is such a mess, we don’t even have anymore bags, basically We were out of normal bags first, and we just ran out of our super large ones, meaning all that’s left for the foreseeable future is bags meant for 1-2 shirts or similar small items

This is not an uncommon occurrence

We sometimes are out of vital things like that for a month or more

One of the CSS who quit and went to a grocery that pays 15 an hour said they are properly staffed and they don’t get near as busy as us and when they ran out of bags everyone was shocked because it never happens there

And honestly I can handle all this, but not at full time. I can’t do full time work, I can not

People at my work do not understand this it seems

My manager wanted to encourage me because when I tried to express the guilt I feel about not doing enough, as in, not coming in as much as I’m needed, she only said I never seem disabled/handicapped at all because my work is so good etc

But that’s not at all the point. It’s not that I feel this is making my work worse (though it is a little in terms of I’m less patient/kind than I want to be) but that when I go home I am basically paralyzed. I am too tired to even play videogames after I work a shift, I just do nothing. It’s only on days off I can get anything done, and even then I can’t if I have had a bunch of 8 hour shifts prior. I want some semblance of living and working on personal things again.

And last year I did their near 40 hour shifts (which this year I was scheduled for 40 hours on a week actually) because I could say ‘it will be over in January and my hours will go down’ and it did a little bit, but this year I can’t say that. We are so understaffed my hours will never go down.

When I said I was quitting they asked what they could do to change my mind, and I gave them the number of hours I was gonna seek out elsewhere, and still I was scheduled 6 and 8 hours over that in the following weeks

They simply can’t do what I need

And even then I considered staying all the way up to like a week ago when I started having intensive nervous breaks during work which I was able to hold out on until I got home and just had all kinds of mental trouble. My nerves are so frayed I can physically feel it, like in a literal way

And my last job I ignored this type of stuff until when I finally lost that job I couldn’t look for work for /8 months/. I can’t push myself that far again

And yet the guilt I feel is extreme. I have had grief and anguish at even just seeing my manager flash a sad face for like 1 second at hearing I was indeed leaving, I was like nearly crying at my station. Knowing that I am directly making things harder for others and letting them down is so extremely hurtful to me, and I even really had enjoyed being at a point where I’m very skilled in my work, but somehow it’s not enough. I just don’t get any satisfaction from it, none of the things I like feel impactful at all anymore, but small annoyances suddenly feel much bigger. And I am definitely less kind and patient towards customers than I used to be.

Retail is where I learned how to have considerably more empathy, it’s where I learned to talk to people, it’s where I learned to stop feeling like everyone was watching me for any little mistake to use against me. It’s where I learned to trust people to just see me as some random person and enjoy our brief exchange and know we would both forget it. And so reaching a point where I don’t show my customers much care or kindness or feel good very often about helping them to me is kinda significant, and I don’t want to go down that path

So that’s an update. Idk where I’m going next, I just hope a smaller store or something. I am gonna wait a week or two, already cleared with my parents they’re okay with it, and then see if I can get in somewhere for the hours I want. Idk what it’s gonna be like when it’s finally done. I know that usually after stuff like this it feels worse for awhile as you don’t have to hold it together anymore, so we’ll see how it is I guess I don’t even have to write these updates, I just like to, idk. It’s more info than anyone needs but like it’s there

#Vio's Personal #There are other life things going in too but #I can’t write that in public spaces #Nothing serious just kinda people being mean irl to my loved ones

1 note · View note

jewels3000 · 5 years ago

Text

Catfish (part 2)

Part 1

Summary: The whole losers gang finally graduates and they all decide to go to the same college together. Eddie is dreading finding out who his roommate will be, and he is both relieved and horrified when he finds out its the trashmouth himself. With one final attempt to get Richie to clean up their doorm room, he hopes onto tinder and starts swiping. Warnings: swearing Pairings: Reddie, Stenbrough (?), Benverly (?)

(a/n): hi this chapter is slightly better but trust me the next chapter is where it’ll get juicy (maybe the one after that idk yet).

This is a series based on @richietoaster 's post about a tweet that I found both humorous and genius at the same time.

If you want to be in the tag list for this series send me an ask or dm me :)

The plane ride was pretty hectic, to say the least. Eddie was taking a nap, pressed between the window and Richie. Richie wouldn't stop pestering Stan, asking him about the different kinds of birds that could fly as high as they were. "Richie stop asking, I already told you that we're not gonna see any birds were on a plane," Stan nearly screamed after patiently waiting for Richie to stop asking essentially the same question over and over again. Richie was currently bent in an awkward position, his lanky legs pressed up against his torso. Ben had offered his pillow for him to use as a barrier between the two body parts, but Richie had simply shook his head, "Eddie will let me use his" "I most certainly will not" Eddie mumbled, half asleep. Drool dribbled slightly down Eddie's chin, Richie sarcastically muttering something along the lines of "real charming, Eds." Eddie shook his head slightly, pressing his face against the window more. 'He looks so calm', Richie thought, 'calmer than he usually is, at least.' For some reason, he couldn't shake the thought of Eddie and his hyperactivity, arguably one of the most attractive things about him. "Asides from his ass" Richie whispered breathlessly. "What?" Stan asked, turning his slightly to look over at him. "Nothing" Richie shook his head, trying to dismiss the thought.

When they finally landed, Richie gently rubbed Eddies back, trying to coax him out of his sleep. When that didn't work, he resorted to yelling into Eddie's ear. "WE'RE GOING DOWN EDS" Richie screamed, jolting back when Eddie's head shot up, looking around frantically. When he noticed the plane was nearly empty, he shoved Richie back. "Fuck you asshole, I almost had an asthma attack!" "False, my dear Watson," Richie said in his classic English accent "for I would have saved you." He held up Eddie's inhaler; Richie constantly carried around an extra one. 'Just in case' he told himself when he first got the inhaler. Richie and Eddie were the only two of the losers on the plane, Richie insisting they go ahead without him. "Where is everyone?" Eddie asked, looking around at the very few people still lingering off the plane. "I don't know, but we should probably start leaving before they fly back to Derry and we have to spend another uneventful year in the same uneventful town."

And on that note, they scurried off the plane, Eddie nearly forgetting his pillow until Richie pointed it out. They met up with the rest of the losers at a cafe inside the airport, everyone looking tired and on the brink of passing out. Richie was the only one who looked semi-awake, bouncing around after drinking two coffees. "I told you he couldn't handle his coffee," Eddie mumbled after Mike had let Richie order whatever he wanted. "He's a grown young man," Mike had protested "let him order two damn coffees."

They now realized what a mistake that was. Richie was dragging a tired Eddie, going out of his way to try and force them to get matching sweaters that had "Los Angeles" written on the fronts. "We live here now, Richie. Who wears hoodies with the city they live in on the front?"

They got the sweatshirts.

Richie would not stop talking. Everywhere he dragged Eddie he had to stop and point out the obvious, as if Eddie was a six-year-old. "Look, Eddie, that mug has a bear on it!" "Look, Eddie, that hoodie looks like ours but its blue!" "Look, Eddie, they have Disneyland flyers over here!"

The losers were over it.

Hurry up and just profess your undying love for him They all collectively thought. It was painstakingly obvious to everyone (except the main two) that they were both crushing on each other. Hard.

They had a week until college would start, just enough time for everyone to settle into their doorm rooms and maybe get to know their future roommates. There was talk of going to Disneyland (mostly by Richie and Mike) but the other losers were unsure if they would have enough time to go. "Maybe when we all have a day without classes," Bill assured, but everyone knew it was really unlikely. Most of the losers were hella broke, not even having enough money of their own to pay tuition. Stan said he could help pay for people's tickets, and mostly everyone refused. "It's ok" "don't worry about it" "We'll find money somewhere" everyone mumbled. Richie simply blurted "ok sounds good."

They eventually left the airport, hailing down multiple taxies to take them to their shared college. Richie was riding with Eddie (obviously) and Mike. Beverly, Bill, Stan, and Ben went in a separate car. Mike sat in the front, trying to give Eddie and Richie more room in the back (to be honest he was convinced they were dating behind everyone's backs). Eventually, they arrived at their on-campus dorms. Each room came equipped with one joint bedroom and two beds. Some had three, but those rooms also came with one single, separate bathroom. The kitchen and showers were located near the student lounge (each floor came with one). Bathrooms were littered throughout the whole building, there being at least three of them on each floor. It was evident this was a fairly big college, and everyone (except Stan) was shocked. "What did you expect," Stan quipped "its California."

The losers made their way to the main building, heading to the main office to look for where their dorms were. Upon entering the building, they weren't surprised to see a line going out the door. They patiently waited (Richie was coming down from his caffeine high and Eddie knew he would crash soon), while playing a long game of 'I-Spy.' A couple of hours passed and everyone was getting antsy, Richie hanging off Eddie's shoulder to keep himself standing. Beverly was in the middle of her turn when they finally got the front. Ben excitedly gave the staff member his papers as the receptionist tried to make idle chat. It was clear, though, that both members of the quaint conversation were tired and the staff member hurried to print out his information. The receptionist paper-clipped all of his papers together and handed them to him, sending him on his way. The group of friends all did the same, re-grouping outside to compare schedules and dorm numbers. They were all in the same building (surprisingly), but not on the same floor. Mike and Bill were on the 3rd floor, Bev on the 1st, while Richie, Eddie, Stan, and Ben were all nestled together on the 5th. Everyone went their separate ways to meet their roommates, Eddie and Richie being the only two to go down the same hallway. Eddie dragged Richie down the hall, scanning both their papers. Eddie quickly realized they were in the same room, deciding to take advantage of Richie's caffeine crash and take the bigger half of the room. He hauled Richie over to his twin-sized bed and tossed him on. He quietly shook his head, deciding not to make a fuss over the work he did to drag him into the room. He tiptoed out the door and made his way down to the first floor. He knocked on Bill's door, having written down everyone's dorm numbers on a clean piece of paper. Bill offered to hold Eddie and Richie's luggage for them while Eddie carried Richie to their shared room, and Eddie had gratefully accepted. Bill handed off their luggage and Eddie was quickly on his way back up to the 5th floor.

Upon entering, however, he immediately noticed the absence of Richie. The bed was empty, as was the whole room. Eddie was about to turn around and call Mike (Eddie called Mike for everything), but he was grabbed from behind, his legs dangling in the air as his attacker picked him up. A shriek left Eddie's mouth, a large hand shooting up to cover it. "You'll alarm everyone, shut up!" His attacker muttered, Eddie quickly noticing the black nail polish and raspy voice. Richie.

Tag list: @drzmrnmrnd

19 notes · View notes

bigskydreaming · 6 years ago

Text

In the best (personal) news I have had in oh, over a year, FINALLY got the results of the MRI back and it is NOT a tumor lurking in my nonexistent jaw joint area and causing all my Issues, as my doctor was worried about from the latest CT scans. Which, like. Yeah. I don’t really have the words for how grateful I am to hear that because like, hahahaha I was getting super tired of my rock bottoms introducing themselves to new rock bottoms, you know???

So I am currently buzzing and high on that news, life in general, and y’know, sleep deprivation, cuz ngl, it was definitely not fun hearing I should know by Monday whether or not like, I have cancer, only for that to be dragged out until freaking Friday. Hahaha what is sleep, I have had like, five hours all week maybe? Needless to say I am super behind again on work, rent, insurance and all that fun stuff BUT as long as I can say “but I don’t have cancer!” at the end of each of those things, like....yeah I’m gonna milk the fuck out of that qualifier for energy, as long as I possibly can lololol.

Did talk to my insurance ppl today though and I’ve got at least until Tuesday to pay my premiums, so got a couple more days of breathing room there. Can’t get it extended past that though because my doctor’s already gonna be calling in preauthorization requests for like, the actual surgery and stuff as early as Monday and I reeeeeally don’t want ‘okay but this dude hasn’t even paid up yet’ being a factor at all in whether or not they approve my 25K surgery.

Fingers crossed that my good luck continues to hold, as there’s a possibility this might all get dealt with once and for all, a lot sooner than I’d hoped for?? Like, cuz of the MRI she was able to get a clear view of exactly what the problem is, the inflammation around the joint and actual erosion of the bone, etc, which cut out a lot of the other steps we were preparing to take to isolate the exact issue before moving forward. It also apparently lit a hell of a fire under their asses cuz they were able to see not just that the joint is totally wrecked (which we’ve known for like, nine months now, wasn’t news), but just how badly eroded my jawbone is at like....the other point of the jaw that holds it at least somewhat connected to my skull still even though the joint itself is nonexistent? Idk not explaining that right because again, sleep deprived like whoa.

ANYWAY. Point is my doctor was like, so basically because of the constant damage being done in that area every time you open your mouth at all, you’re fracturing it further and its only hanging on by the barest sliver at this point - which, DUH, is exactly what I’ve been telling all these doctors it felt like, for over a year BUT I DIGRESS - so she’s all, yeah, we need to move this along as fast as possible because if you erode that area much more like, she doesn’t even know what that’ll look like in practice cuz she’s never actually had to deal with a case that bad, but reading between the lines it sounds like I would just not be able to close my mouth shut at all after that point, which....lol bye bye basic eating and talking? Idk. So its super fun being the worst case of this particular issue she’s ever seen personally haha yay me (but at least I don’t have cancer!)

So. Still putting it in the win column.

But yeah, so she found another surgeon that does potentially take insurance for the actual surgery costs, if we can get my insurance to approve it, and in the meanwhile now I gotta set up appointments at this OTHER imaging place for another more specific CT scan to measure how big the prosthetic will need to be, and they don’t take insurance there at all so that’s gonna be $600 no matter what. BUT, this new surgeon has a bunch of premade prosthetics they keep on site and so there’s a possibility they might be able to fit me with a premade prosthetic that’s already the right dimension instead of having to order a custom made one. And if I can get the surgery approved by my insurance and they find a premade that works, the surgery can be set up in as little as three weeks (which omg holy shit is that a light at the end of the tunnel, IT JUST FUCKING MIGHT BE crap I totally jinxed it didnt I fuck). If they can’t find a premade that works though it’ll still be the 4-6 months to make a custom one so, boooooo, we’re really hoping that doesn’t happen, cuz, again. I do not know precisely what several months of not being able to swing my jaw shut at all even lopsidedly and thus no eating or talking....like lmao what would that even look like how do you not like, starve in that case? Idk. So....super duper hoping that we can find a premade and get the surgery scheduled quicklikearabbit and not have to wait several more months and risk just eroding whatever it is that’s still up there in that general vicinity that’s left to erode, idk, like I said what are words right now even.

YEAH. SO. That’s my status update for those who’ve been messaging and checking in and whatnot, like, y’all are rockstars and I fucking adore you and am so grateful. I am now going to go sleep the sleep of the dead because hahahahahaha ow light is actually physically painful at the moment, I just came to sit up straight at my desk and I’m honestly feeling so attacked right now.

Then its back to work for me but also I might have some fic updates??? lol. Cuz of people who’ve donated and made non-imposing requests or suggestions for things I could write and thus mitigate my OMG I Do Not Deserve Your Generosity ulcers of doom. That I’ve been writing off and on but mostly just off this last week in particular where I unfortunately did a lot of like, staring at the wall watching paint dry except not really cuz they weren’t freshly painted or whatever, look you get what I mean probably.

Right. So. Assuming any of this makes sense to anyone and I’m not actually just stringing together nonsense series of words here at this point, still likely to be scarce for a few days to a week. Gonna leave my paypal link again, cuz I mean, yeah. I’m way more sick of posting it than anyone could possibly be of seeing my post it lolol, trust me, but hopefully there is a point now in the near(ish) future where I will once again be able to work productively and non-chronic-painfully again and thus not be in desperate need of the kindness of strangers 24/7. That would be so awesome omgwtfbbqicanteven. You don’t even know.

But also! At least I don’t have cancer. So. I actually have a bizarre amount of energy at the moment despite being two seconds away from faceplanting into my keyboard from exhaustion. Look I dont even get how that works either. I’m nuanced okay.

I feel like there was something to write here like in conclusion or in summation or tl;dr but also fuck it, I think I literally just heard my last remaining synapse fire in my brain I gtg ttyl byyyyyyyyyyyye.

https://paypal.me/bigskydreaming?locale.x=en_US

#i do the words so good #like omg look how good i do all the words

147 notes · View notes

queerlyglittering · 5 years ago

Text

LETTER BOY UPDATE

ok! This is long overdue lmao. but until the other day I was feeling a bit mopey and sad and also just generally tired and didn’t wanna talk about it BUT THEN E X T R E M E L Y LONG POST AHEAD

so lemme see where I last left off re: Letter Boy.... ok so like, to recap: there for a while we’d barely been talking. He didn’t have time to write to me most of the time, and then half the time when we did write to each other our letters kept getting lost in the mail, etc etc. I know I’d been like pretty obsessive over the whole letter-writing thing for a while so I thought I’d been pushing him away and like at one point I wrote him a goodbye letter? Like I was really out here like “I’m so sorry for bothering you so much, I’ll leave you alone now” like what sort of passive-aggressive bitchy monster lmao. And then eventually I was like nah fuck that, that’s not ok and I’m not leaving things like that, so I wrote him an apology and we kinda got back to talking a bit. And then he finally wrote me back! And his letter was deeply personal and emotional and I cried! He came out as ace! He told me he loved me! The absolute drama of it all! (Which it turns out, at that point he didn’t mean it in terms of like, romantic love, just like... he really cared about me as a person and was glad that he felt comfortable to write about his experiences re: being ace to me and it was sort of cathartic. BUT THEN!) So I wrote back almost immediately, telling him that I loved him too and that he was valid and shit lmao. That was all back in late May/early June I think... tbh I don’t remember what happened over the summer, lemme go back and reread our messages? b/c I know neither of us has physically written to the other since then. Ok so we messaged a bit about potentially meeting up at a Pride festival, either there in Houston or up in Dallas, but the timing just generally didn’t work out in our favor for either event, so we wound up not going. And then we kinda sporadically messaged each other here and there, usually when he was stressed with school or I was stressed with work, etc, but we barely talked off and on for a couple months. Then I started my current job, and my sleep cycle got outta whack for a few weeks, and that’s when things started to get interesting again lmao

ok so sometime near the end of August, he had like a minor depressive episode or something in the middle of the night and messaged me at like 4 am saying he felt “gross and sad” and I slept through that because it was Saturday but I wound up waking up at like 6:30 out of habit from getting up for work, and I ended up calling him and we talked for a while and I vented about some stuff in my life too and then we both went back to sleep lmao. And after that things got a little more active in terms of communication; like y’all know me, I’m a Needy Bitch, so of course I wound up messaging him like once every couple days or so whenever I started to miss him and needed Attention. Like it kinda started with a tarot reading I got, just a standard past/present/future 3-card reading, but she pulled the Lovers for my present, so I mean.... and basically she said something about there being a person in my life whom I had feelings for, and who reciprocated those feelings, but there was a communications disconnect, and the relationship was getting to a point where it could begin to go stale, and that we shouldn’t block ourselves off from progress. After that reading I reached out and messaged him again, and we ended up literally speaking every day for a week. Like I think I’d made a post about that on here about not messaging him for the 8th day in a row and thought I was exaggerating but then I went back and counted and IT ACTUALLY WAS THE 8TH DAY, WOW AUDREY, YOU’RE OFFICIALLY ANNOYING. So I tried to get better about leaving him alone lmao but I started messaging him a bunch of stuff about my singing, because my old community had a brief resurgence in September. and he said he wanted to sing something with me someday and I’m 🥰🥰

So then at one point I had mentioned coming down to Houston for the weekend of the SFA/Sam Houston State game (which was last weekend, 10/5-6) with my friend, and ditching the game to hang out with him instead. I kinda let the subject drop for a couple weeks because at that point it was almost a month out and I wasn’t 100% sure I was gonna be able to go so I didn’t want to get both our hopes up. But then work started being really shitty and dicking me around about my schedule change that was supposed to have happened once I got out of training, and my home life wasn’t gr8 either, so I kinda latched onto that weekend trip as like a bright spot, or something to hope for. Something to keep me going. And he’d basically forgotten about it, which is fine, except I wound up springing it back on him at the last minute lmao. But then my friend who I was supposed to go with (because I can’t drive so she was gonna drive us down there) was like ‘nah I’m not going to the game, I have no money for tickets.’ So I was like well shit, there goes my happy thing. And I talked to her about it and basically begged her to just go down to Houston for the weekend anyway, I’d get us a hotel and everything, because I needed this. So she was like ‘alright, look at hotels.’ But then HER friend got very sick, like in-the-hospital having-mysterious-seizures sick, and she went to go stay with her in the hospital for a few days because the girl’s husband was being a dick about it (it turned out to just be an infection from a contact lens that got stuck in her eye and like melted??? idk. but it was BAD AND SCARY). But that was like Wednesday-Friday of the week we were supposed to go to Houston on that weekend and I wasn’t sure she’d be up to going. So I asked last minute if she still wanted to go or if I should cancel the hotel (not realizing that it was too late to cancel it anyway lmao RIP) and she said ‘ok sure but I wanna bring my kid, since I’ve been away from her for 3 whole days.’ I was like that’s fine, I already thought you were gonna bring her lol. So we wound up going down there on Saturday but we left a bit later than we’d meant to, and by the time we got to town, Letter Boy was already at work. So I missed him that day. The three of us (me, friend & kiddo) wound up swimming in the hotel pool and then ordering Chinese takeout for dinner so that was pretty fun.

Then the next day, Sunday! Letter Boy called as we were checking out of the hotel to try and figure out what the plan was, where we could meet up, etc. We decided to meet at the mall nearby, since it was an easy landmark for all parties, and we could find each other pretty easily there. He took me (and my friend and her kid, though apparently that wasn’t the plan, and he would’ve preferred to spend time with just me; she even gave me the option to not have the two of them meet us at the restaurant and I decided not to take it because i was a nervous anxious coward lmao) out to lunch at this Korean place in town, where he loves to eat. We played a few rounds of a card game and talked and ate and it was great fun. Then he had to bail and go to work, and we had an interesting goodbye because I’d been out here trying to respect his personal space and all because from what he’d said in his coming-out letter, it sounded very much like he was touch-averse - but then he hugged me goodbye? and kept coming back for more hugs?! like “one more? ok just one more? and one more?” like nonstop for a good five minutes lmao. I was a bit confused but I loved it (my primary love language is physical touch; hugs are my kryptonite. And he gives AMAZING hugs. like I may have even actually dreamed about his hugs before I ever got to experience one, but that’s whole other post lol). Anyway so after that my friend and I went to hang out at her brother’s in-laws’ place because they lived in the area lol. Letter Boy had asked me to message him once I got there, so I did. I told him I wished I could’ve spent more time with him one-on-one, and he said “well if you’re still in town maybe you can sneak away when I get my break later” So I basically said hell yes, just tell me where to meet you, lol. We wound up meeting up at Starbucks and getting coffee and continuing to talk and hang out for the half hour of his break, and he really didn’t want to leave when it was time for him to go. Like he actually contemplated kidnapping me and bringing me to work with him lmao. If my ride hadn’t already been on her way, I would’ve gone with him in a heartbeat. I didn’t want to leave either. And he told me he loved me again! 🥰🥰🥰 It was sappy and sweet and just aghhhh <3

So that was a week ago today! And there’s been some interesting developments since then too. Starting off with that Sunday night when I got home, I’d had too much coffee (starbucks messed up my order and had to remake it so I ended up drinking both lmao, big mistake). So I was over-caffeinated and v emotional and couldn’t sleep so I started writing out all my anxious confused feelings in letter form, and wound up just linking Letter Boy to the Google Doc I’d been writing in. This was at almost 2 AM. Apparently I woke him up and he read it and replied to me over messenger and basically we talked about how like. when he first said he loved me in the letter, he didn’t necessarily mean it in a romantic context but it was definitely more than just platonic and he wasn’t sure how to quantify that. But now that we’d met in person, and got to spend some actual time together, he felt a little differently and that he was “not 100% sure but WAAAY more than 50% sure” that he loved me romantically, because partially because he’s ace, he’s just kinda unsure about romantic relationships in general and he’s reluctant to commit to them because the sex thing always becomes an issue. I reassured him that I completely understand and respect his orientation and would never ask him to change that aspect of himself or do anything that would make him uncomfortable, and he seemed immensely relieved. At this point I’m honestly not even sure how much of his feelings are genuinely for/about me, and how much of them are just some sort of general euphoria at having someone basically validate his orientation and his existence, because he’d spent so long being mocked and tormented by friends and lovers alike, and basically just feeling broken and worthless. And I completely understand that reaction. I’m not even sure I care if that’s all this is, if it comes down to it; I’m happy to be here to love and support him and make sure he never feels less than whole and valid again, no matter my context in his life. I just want him to be happy. I’d love to be the one who makes him happy, but if ultimately that is not my part in his life, then so be it. I’m at peace with it.

Anyway so that was Sunday night, we talked a little bit on Monday and Tuesday and then like,, nothing at all for a few days? And so of course my immediate instinct is that I came on too strong and pushed him away, just because he doesn’t want to talk to me every day?? so I got all mopey and sad and weird, because I thought I’d scared him off and lost him and idk. Also I was in a funk b/c my hormones are being wacky this week; I don’t really get periods per se with my IUD, but sometimes I’ll get phantom cramps and/or mood swings, etc. but this past week i’ve been spotting and cramping AND moody af, so that’s been fun. So I’d been all weird and sad and shit, and thinking he didn’t want to talk to me = he didn’t want me, and I was so paranoid and afraid because I still think this whole thing is too good to be true and I can’t trust it. I know it’s silly and far too early to be serious and it’ll never last and probably won’t end well. I know that it’s fun and easy and idealistic and won’t stand up to reality or practicality, when it eventually has to face them. So I’ve been bracing myself for that ending ever since it began. And I know three days isn’t very long, but after having a whole conversation about how we love each other, and how we love each other, it felt like an eternity. BUT THEN!!!!!!!!!

So ok, we did talk briefly on Friday, in passing. but it was a very short little conversation; the only major thing to come out of it was a further confirmation that yes, he’s serious about coming up here to see me. BUT THEN Saturday night (10/12), he got home from seeing Eric Andre perform live, and he was hanging out with his sister and drinking and generally being a goof, and he messaged me! UPDATE: It’s now sunday 10/20 and I’m still writing this. idk it’s been a lot, everything else in my life has been rough lately, idk. im not feeling as positively about this as i was before, but i’ll keep writing the update. I’ve written too much

SO! Anyway. he came home from the comedy show thing, and he was hanging out with his sister watching some Japanese reality show and drinking, and he messaged me out of the blue. Funny thing I’ve noticed is that he doesn’t generally reach out to me first and he’s not too expressive generally but whenever he’s intoxicated in some way, be it alcohol or pot or even benadryl, he gets really effusively, gushily mushy and sweet. So on this occasion he was drunk, or at least tipsy, and that means he was being extra affectionate and dumb lmao. He started out telling me about his night and then hit me with the “I wish you were heeeerrrrreeeeeeee” lol. And he said something about how one day when he graduates, we should get a place together, where we can “be non-binary and own our dreams” (the second time he’s mentioned possibly being nonbinary to me - or possibly third time, he said something in passing about being confused about gender roles, in a context that implied ‘in relation to himself.’ meanwhile I haven’t actually said anything at all to him about me being nonbinary, he just kinda assumed b/c i have a rly butch-y looking haircut rn lmao. but like.. he ain’t wrong tho 😂 so that’s a conversation that we need to actually have sometime.) He was like “it’s sorta romantic that you live up there and I live down here and we’re so far apart and we have to just kinda pine after each other basically” and i was like oh good, I’m not the only one pining lmao. But then he asked me to come with him when he moves to Japan to teach English there, sometime after he finishes his degree. Which like, I wish I could go with him, and I know that if we’re still talking at that point/especially if we actually get together, it’s gonna be hard to be that far away from him and I’m gonna miss him. But it’s just eminently not practical. I don’t have any college degree and I don’t speak a lick of Japanese, there’s no way I can teach English with him; and there aren’t many other jobs there for Americans. And he won’t be making enough to support both of us on a teacher’s salary, i know that much. So that’s where I start to get a bit disillusioned. Like I know it was just a drunk suggestion out of a desperation to not be apart anymore, and despite the fact that a drunk mouth often speaks sober thoughts, I know better than to assume that either of those offers to live together were any kind of a promise, and I have no intention to hold him to either of them. But in the moment I very much got my hopes up and I let myself get really excited and I regret that now lmao because like I knew even then that it wasn’t real. and now i’m just sorta disappointed because I’ve had to confront the fact that he’s very much a daydreamer and I, for all my delusional fantasizing, am at heart more practical than that. I don’t like to hope for things that I know can’t happen, because it’s just setting myself up for future devastation. And he just wants to hope and wish for everything, and maybe some of it will come true and maybe some of it won’t, and he just sort of seems unbothered by either outcome. For all my hopeless romanticism and my overemotional nature, I can’t bring myself to do that, to hope without expectation. I don’t know how. it’s so antithetical to my understanding of the world. And it just serves to highlight another of the many ways in which we are almost complete opposites - which isn’t a bad thing! but it can make some things harder. like handling distance, or hoping for the future, or just communication in general.

but anyway! back to drunken happiness lmao. he started saying really sappy shit like how he wants to be there for me when I’m feeling down, and he wants to have big dumb fights with me just so he can make it up to me with a big grand gesture like flowers or edible arrangements or something. and then he wrote me a drunken limerick and it was actually surprisingly good and really cute lmao. and he said he wanted to cuddle me. and then we got into a mini-fight over which one of us was cuter lmao. and he called me queen and said that he just wants to like. make me food and take care of me and stuff lol. and that he doesn’t even HAVE a type but somehow I am exactly his type? which is still fucking me up, that’s the sweetest shit i’ve ever heard. (because i know what he means, he’s dated around quite a bit with different types and genders of people and stuff because he didn’t really know how to handle his asexuality and of course the myth is that you just haven’t found the right person yet, so he just kept trying and feeling broken and then here I am, the first person he’s found to be accepting and understanding of that part of him, and still want him and care for him and be all lovey-dovey and shit with him, and he just wants me to be happy in return.) meanwhile I of course have several types, including different types for girls and guys etc, but he’s hitting all my boxes - tall, handsome in a kind of adorkable way, smart, funny, sarcastic, sweet, patient, sensitive, similar tastes in media and similar political alignments, queer. plus he’s just cute as fuck. like out of my league cute lmao but again, that’s exactly my type OTL so like I told him that, and that I just wanna like. hold him and be with him and help him be successful in whatever he wants in life. and he freaked out and was like ugh you should just come here rn i’ll hide you under my bed if i have to and i was like i wish i could :( and he was like THAT’S NOT GOOD ENOUGH AUDREY COME HERE and i was like OK IM LEAVING ON FOOT SEE U IN 3 DAYS and it was funny. and we flung a bunch of heart emojis at each other. and then he made a passing reference to his mood swings and i kinda ended up ignoring it because i sent a message at the same time but in my head i was like boy have you even MET me, 1. the swings have always been my favorite piece of playground equipment, 2. i’ve got mood swings down to a fine art, and 3. i’m more worried about whether you can handle mine. i’m pretty sure i can take yours in stride lmao. and then there was more talk of cuddling, and HE STARTED HEART REACTING ALL MY MESSAGES and i’m just like WTF STOP IT THAT IS THE CUTEST SHIT <3333 and then he sent me a dollar by accident? and I sent him the “i love you bitch, i ain’t never gonna stop loving you bitch” vine lmao

and apparently this whole time he was still sitting around with his sister? lmao because he said she told him she approved of me after i sent that vine 😂 and she apparently likes my hair! which is good lol (reminder I need to post some pics of it on here, I posted selfies to fb but i don’t think i’ve posted on here yet). his sister is also bi lmao and seems cool in general (and also from what i’ve seen creeping her fb, she’s REALLY GORGEOUS, like it runs in the family, these fuckers should be models, it’s ridiculous really) so having her approval is v nice. like at least one member of his family approves of me! now to work on the rest 😂😂 and then he was talking about he was gonna get high also (despite being already drunk) and i was joking with him about bogarting the weed and he was like “when we live together I’ll share my weed with you” lmao but he said it with such certainty, like it was just a given. not an if, but a when. which threw me for enough of a loop. But then he started in on this fantasy scenario where like it’s late at night and we can’t sleep so he makes me sushi by hand, and we feed each other with our chopsticks (he was impressed that I already knew how to use them lmao) and we sit on the couch arm in arm watching reruns of cheers and laughing way too loudly and fall asleep in each other’s arms as the sun comes up outside but we don’t have anything to do the next day so it’s ok. and it was the sweetest most romantic shit I’ve literally ever heard in my LIFE, like it sounds like actual heaven and i was crying happy tears at this point lmao. just 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 like in that moment i felt so fucking loved i couldn’t even speak and y’all know i’m never speechless, i literally can’t fucking shut up most of the time lmao. and like at that point his phone was dying so he went to plug it in and go to bed and I did the same because it was like 2:30 in the morning but i was just giddy with affection and couldn’t sleep.

anyway so the next day (sunday) i had a party thing to go to that was really fun but i’m socially awkward so i texted him a lot as a crutch. and then the next day (monday) he had given me “permission to bug the crap out of him” so i messaged him a lot throughout my work day because it was an unusually crappy day anyway. and the day after that (tuesday) we messaged about the democratic debates and stuff. and then i kinda tried to give him some space, because i felt like i was smothering him, and i made it all the way to friday evening before i caved in and messaged him again. like i don’t wanna bother him by messaging him every day, i know he’s busy. whenever he doesn’t actively have class, he’s got homework or he’s working (which usually means he’s driving and can’t talk). but i’m like so addicted to the affection i get from him, it’s bad. my anxiety just keeps building and getting worse if i try to avoid messaging him and I don’t make it very far before i end up giving in and messaging him for a hit of that good ol’ dopamine. so we ended up catching each other up on the events of the latter part of our week, and talking about sushi preferences. and he apparently has never had eel?? like that was probably the 2nd or 3rd thing i tried lmao 😂 but then to be fair I had a boyfriend at the time who was very interested in making sure i tried new things, and who had been stationed briefly in japan so he knew a lot about sushi and wanted to show off. anyway Letter Boy is like me, he prefers salmon by a wide margin. and we talked about how he’d tried squid and did not enjoy it, and that turned into a mini battle to see who could post the weirdest squid-themed gif lmao. and then i sent him the playlist but he still hasn’t listened to it yet I don’t think. but he also wants me to write him a poem lmao so that’s something i should start working on i guess. but idk i’m not feeling it rn but that’s not his fault.

and then today happened and i had another incident with my mother and her narcissistic bullshit and i was feeling like shit so i reached out to my best friend to kinda get some validation that i’m not actually the narcissistic one (which felt shitty and manipulative, like if i have to ask i’m probably at least a LITTLE narcissistic. but then again if i actually was narcissistic i guess i wouldn’t even have that doubt? like i would just be certain that i wasn’t and not second-guess it because i wouldn’t care? and like making their victims believe that THEY are the narcissistic ones and the abuser isn’t, is a classic hallmark of gaslighting and narcissistic abuse? but i still felt like shit about it idk). And I also reached out to Letter Boy because while I love my best friend more than words can say, like she’s my sister-from-another-mother, Letter Boy has kind of become my comfort person. like i always used to write letters to him whenever I was going through a rough spot, as a distraction. and usually I’ll message him whenever I’m starting to feel anxious or sad, but lately it’s gotten to where I’ll start to feel anxious and sad whenever I don’t message him regularly. like i’ve said, it’s getting bad and i’m worried about it. like that’s not a good sign of a healthy relationship. and it’s nice to have some positivity in my life, especially given all the negative shit i’m constantly surrounded by. but that doesn’t mean this relationship is healthy or good for either of us. so that’s yet another thing on my list of shit that’s making me anxious lol. but anyway he tried to be supportive when i told him about what i’m dealing with in re: my mother, and encouraged me to get out, but he just seemed kinda generally lost. like he didn’t know how to deal with it. and if that’s because he’s been fortunate enough that in his life, that kind of behaviour is not something he’s experienced, then I’m happy for him. but he said some stuff about not really believing in labels, but specifically in regards to mental health issues? which like. that’s all fine and good in terms of gender and sexuality, but with mental health, that’s a medical issue. you kind of have to have names for things in that context so that you can treat them. and i get that he was kinda trying to be encouraging to me, to not let my mother make me think of myself as a narcissist, and to not feel so shitty about myself in terms of like my depression and anxiety and stuff. but it just felt like it was sort of coming from a place of very neurotypical privilege and misunderstanding, and it was sort of unintentionally invalidating. and then he brought up the idea of us living together again, once he graduates, but he said it in a slightly more realistic way which i should have been happier with but that only wound up disappointing me. he said “maybe when i graduate we can get a place...” instead of like his certainty from earlier. and i said i wish, and he said that he wishes too and we should both hope for it and maybe it’ll happen. and i’m just like... hope is a dangerous thing for my emotional health, i don’t want to hope for something that isn’t going to happen. and he basically said that i need to learn to hope without expectation, and set small goals as baby steps toward that bigger dream, and i’m just like. i don’t understand but thank you lmao. and that’s where we left off this evening. and i’ve been crying, about shit with my mom and my life in general and worrying about all this bullshit with letter boy and how like a week ago we were blissfully happy with each other and now things are feeling increasingly less certain and i have this burning feeling in the back of my mind that he’s not gonna actually show up for the Syrup Festival in 3 weeks - which again, i’ve pinned all my hopes to, it’s the light at the end of my newest tunnel. and i’m so nervous because i want to show him everything and let him get a feel for where i live (and why i feel trapped here lmao) and yet at the same time i don’t know how to handle it because i don’t think he’ll feel the same way about it as i do. and i’m still not sure he’ll even come. because despite him telling me repeatedly that he wants to come, i can’t help but feel that either something will come between us within that time, or he’ll just end up having to work, or something, and he won’t actually come. i’m so terrified he won’t want to come. I’m terrified i’m pushing him away. because this whole thing, ever since we started writing letters, has felt mostly one-sided, like i’m out here sharing everything with him and flinging my love and attention at him, and getting scraps in return, just enough to keep me coming back for more. and i don’t know if he’s stringing me along or if he’s serious. he is a bit flighty. I don’t want him to fly away. but i don’t want to hold him down, either.

i don’t know.

#personal #letter boy #letter boy update #long post #ignore me #so anyway that's like.... the last 6 months almost lmao #all the ups and the downs #this has been over a week in the writing and i'm sorry #i got lazy with updating the dates throughout the post

1 note · View note