#so idk buy i think about it quite a bit lately

[luvyeni]

SECURITY CAMERA ,, 한지성

pairings ‎⸝⸝⸝ perv!jisung x fem!reader wc. 2.1k+

genre. smut

𓄷 includes ... sub jisung, perversions, unprotected sex, oral ( m. receiving ), public sex , overstimulation, idk man jisung is weird , but like so is reader.

request. han jisung smut🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

「 authors note 𖹭 」 not my favorite but i hope you like it.

❪ masterlist! ❫

jisung hated his job as the cashier at the cafe; he didn't like how he had to interact with people all day; the teenagers who order drinks that took 10 minutes to make, the older people complaining to him about princes he has no control in , the small children who don't need coffee in the first place — he hated it, but someone needed to pay his bills.

that was until you walked into the cafe a few months ago , looking for a job which you got; and his life from then on his shifts got ten times better — not only did he get a promotion to manager , which not only gave him a good pay raise , but he got to move to the back where he no longer had to interact with the outside population.

not only that , but you also made his shifts much better, he liked to watch you through the screen, and the way you interacted so sweetly with the customers, even the horrid ones. not to mention you were always so nice to him , even when you were having a bad day, you still would come to the back and have a conversation with him before returning back to the front , where he would watch you some more — and some days if he was lucky, he'd get a peek of your panties when you would bend over to get a cup or to pick up dropped change on the floor.

he still remembered the last time he jerked off in that back room; watching you, he felt so disgusting afterwards , you weren't even doing anything, it was late at night and you were cleaning up the cafe with a coworker and he was going over the books in the back , he so happened to look at the camera , it was a warm day and you wearing a tank top, one that showed off your boobs and a mini skirt that was too short , he could've dress coded you but he didn't get paid enough and he didn't want you to see him as a loser — but if you caught him doing he did you'd probably think he was anyway.

you were just so pretty and he was thinking with his cock; and before he knew it he was palming himself , cumming in his pants , heavily breathing as the post nut clarity hit him. he quickly locked up the back , wishing you and the other worker there a good night as he ran out the door , covering himself , eyes to the ground in shame.

he couldn't look at you for a week; not only did he feel guilty, but because he wanted to do it again; and it wasn't that long until he did it again, and then again— until he no longer felt guilty about doing it , he couldn't stop himself , he needed to do it , not a shift went by where he didn't touch himself watching you through the cameras.

“i don't know, i think he's pretty weird.” your coworker said , it was a 15 minutes to closing , so you were wiping down the tables. “who?” you asked, you were never one to gossip but it was a slow night , not many people buying coffee at 9 pm and you were bored. “jisung.” your other female coworker said. “he stays back there constantly , and when he does come out it's just to grab a coffee and stare at yns boobs , it's creepy.” she said. “what , my boobs?” you questioned. “he's never looked at my boobs.” you said. “has he?”

“of course you'd like the creepy manager.” your male coworker said. “i don't think he's creepy , he's just a bit anti-social, it's quite cute.” you smiled , your friends rolled their eyes. “leave him alone , he's nothing but kind to everyone , he lets you come in even though you obviously haven't passed a drug alcohol test since even before you were the legal age , and you; he spends 30 extra minutes each week to put in your hours because you're too lazy to do it yourself , he even puts in hours that you're late just so you won't take a pay cut.” you defended the boy.

“look at you defending him , what you got a little crush on him?” you scoffed , rolling your eyes. “i don't have to like him to know he's not a bad person , or a creep.” you said , walking away to finish cleaning the tables.

“we're leaving , are you coming or are you gonna wait for your boyfriend?” they stopped as they walked out the door. “shut up.” you rolled your eyes. “i guess that means she's waiting , let's go.” they exited the store , you walked over locking the door.

you began to count the money from the counter , humming the music that was playing from the speakers — then you heard it , your name coming from the back. “huh?” you turned down the speaker , thinking you misheard , but you heard it again , this time much louder. you put the money down , following the noise; until you got to the manager's office. “y-yn.”

you put your ear to the door; he wasn't just saying your name, he was moaning your name. “jisung?” you pushed the door open , your eyes widened at the scene. “yn.” his eyes widened at the shock as you watched the boy desperately try to pull his pants up. “what are you doing?” you asked ,even though you knew what he was doing , you literally caught him with his cock in his hand , you looked at the computer then back to him. “were you watching me while doing that?”

his first thought was to beg for your forgiveness , and that's what he did. “y-yn i'm so sorry , i didn't mean to — you didn't mean to jerk off while watching me , what? wipe tables.” you interrupted , the boy lowered his head. “you felt comfortable doing this , have you done this before?” he didn't say anything but it answered your question. “you have.” you said. “im sorry.”

“that's all you have to say? im sorry.” you scoffed. “i defended you when they called you a creep , turns out you are one.” he felt a pit in his stomach , he felt guilty , he really did , but he was also still really fucking hard. “sh-shit.” he cursed , feeling his cock twitching in unbuttoned slacks. “i really should report you for this.” his eyes widened. “calm down i won't turn you in perv.” you closed the door , behind you.

“i-m not a pervert.” you scoffed. “really? normal people don't jerk off to their coworkers.” he kept his head low even as you approached him. “how long have you been doing this?” he shrugged. “ a-a few weeks after you came,” he admitted. “so instead of asking me out with the chance of maybe fucking me , you watch me through the camera while jerking off?” you smirked. “i would've fucked you, all you had to do was ask.”

you put your hands on the arms of the chair , caging him in , your boobs right in front of his face. “see you can't even look at me now, but you can see my tits can't you , guess they were right about you constantly staring at them.” he bit his lip. “touch them.” he finally looked at you. “wh-what?” he stuttered. “do it.” he brought his hands up to your boobs , squeezing them , you bit your lip containing a moan. “feel good?” he shook his head. “s-soft.”

you stood up , lifting you shirt over your head. “pulling your pants down.” he was frozen. “do it now or i'll call HR on your ass.” he quickly got up , his pants falling to his ankles. “sit.” he obeyed , you got down on your knees , your face directly in front of his cock. “wh-what are you doing?” he asked , not like he wanted to stop you. “doing what you obviously wanted me to do.”

you pulled his cock from his underwear, it stood tall in front of your face , his tip a purplish red from his previous endeavors, leaking with pre cum. “look at you , so hard i guess you didn't get to cum.” you kissed his tip. “no fuck.” he sighed. “d-didn’t get the chance.” he moaned as your mouth closed around his length , slowly making your way down his shaft. “oh fuck your mouth feels so good.”

he felt like he was dreaming; you were supposed to hate him , you were supposed to think he was gross — but here you were gagging on his cock in the same room you caught him in. “oh fuck im cum.” he moaned , gripping the arms of the chair. “pl-please let me cum.”

he whined as you pulled away. “why should i?” you stroked his member , slowly teasing him , he couldn't cum like this. “didn't you cum enough by perving on me for the past few months?” he whimpered. “pl-please let me cum.” he begged. “please i-i’m sorry.” you sped up your movements , he moaned loudly. “you wanna cum? cum all over my tits , since you like them so much?” he nodded. “pl-please I'm gonna cum.” his brain was fuzzy. “fuck im cumming!”

he let out a loud moan as he came , covering your upper body in his seed , as you kept going. “fu-fuck , i came.” he moaned , but you didn't stop. “yn fuck I came.” he let out a huff of air as you let him go. “you came so much.” you brought your fingers with his cum on it to your mouth. “you taste good too.” he groaned , his cock twitching once again. “i want you to fuck me.” you stood up , pulling your panties down your legs , leaving your skirt on. “if you get to use me only fair if I use you?”

you climbed into his lap , his cock now hard again standing tall. “pl-please use me.” you cursed as you lowered yourself on his cock. “fu-fuck.” you sat down on him. “yo-you feel good.” he moaned. “so-so tight.” you began to move your hips , holding his shoulders. “y-yn please go faster.” he moaned. “pl-please.”

“fuck you want me to use you?” you began to bounce on his cock. “treat you like a toy?” he nodded dumbly, his eyes rolling to the back of his head. “fuck use me , please use me.” you scoffed. “fucking perv , i bet you thought about this everytime you jerked off back here.” he moaned. “you did , think about me fucking you like this?”

jisung was going crazy; his head was spinning as you were milking him for everything he had. “you're gonna cum?” you pulled him from his daze , there were tears wielding in his eyes from pleasure. “cum for me.” you kissed behind his ear. “be a good boy and cum for me.” that set him off and he came , he threw his head back slamming his hand on the desk next to him as you continued to bounce on his cock.

“y-yn.” he moaned. “yn please i can't cum again.” he was spent, you grabbed his chubby tear stained cheeks. “you can , cum for me again.” he let out a whimper like moan as he came for the third time. “sh-shit i can't go again.” he said. “fuck im gonna cum.” you cursed , as you came , you kissed his needy lips , he chased your lips as you pulled away , making you smile. “cute.”

“well i still thinks he's a little weird.” your coworker said. “regardless if he did ask you out on a date.” you rolled your eyes. “what does he even do back there all day?” you smirked to yourself , before turning back to your coworkers with a serious face. “he does his job , now leave him alone and get back to work.” you ordered , and they shrugged going back to what they were supposed to be doing— you turned around right at the camera , winking.

yeah he was a pervert , but he was your pervert.

©LUVYENI

[the-boy-meets-evil]

you're mine | c.sc

you thought you had finally gotten the upper hand on seungcheol. you were wrong. pairing: idol!seungcheol x fem!reader genre: idol!au | smut, pwp rating: explicit | minors DNI warnings: this is mostly just smut so take that how you will, reader is kinda bratty, scoups is possessive, slight dom undertones (? idk i don't usually write this), swearing, kissing, biting, marking, restraints, sensory deprivation (blindfold), fingering, brief mention of a hand job, slight nipple play, use of a pet name (baby, pretty girl), oral sex (f. receiving), vaginal penetration, protected sex, i think that's it but let me know if i missed anything word count: ~3.5k

a/n: idk what to say, this kind of got away from me lol. credit/blame to @seungkwansphd for putting the idea in my head and scoups for whatever bullshit he was on in macao. it was supposed to be a drabble and this isn't what i'd normally write so go easy on me. unbeta'd and mostly unedited. thank you to my baby @playmetheclassics / @classicscreations for the last minute banner and divider!

You’ve never been much of a brat with anyone else. It just isn’t something that crossed your mind. Why would you want to rile someone up on purpose? Why would you want to get under their skin just to see their response? Why would you want to do the opposite of what they asked? So no, it hasn’t crossed your mind.

Until Seungcheol. 

Until you met the man that made you want to cause problems. The man that made you discover a lot of things you didn’t know about yourself. The man that had you from the moment he told you that he was going to go easy on you. You didn’t realize then, but you were fucked. Talk about being in over your head. 

He really did start easy, in hindsight. And he let you get away with things you didn’t even realize. Thought you had the upper hand, actually. How many ways can one person be wrong? You don’t have the answer beyond knowing it’s a lot. 

You love the moments that Seungcheol lets you think you’re in control. You know now that’s all it is. Pretend. He’s always the one actually pulling the strings. And you’re always the one trying to press his buttons, press your luck, gain some ground. 

Today’s test? You want to mark him up. You want to leave your claim on him, but you know you can’t make it obvious. Don’t feel like you can push his buttons quite that hard. So even though you want to mark up his neck, you settle for his chest. You keep telling him that it’s getting too big anyway. Just who is he trying to impress?

Seungcheol is lying in your bed, one arm tucked behind his head and eyes closed. You know he’s not asleep, though, know he’s just enjoying a minute of peace before he has to leave and return to the chaos. And you know now is the best time because he really does have to go soon. It’s the best time to be able to get him and win, even if just for a moment, because there’s a lot of things he’ll do. A lot of things you still haven’t learned. But he’ll never be late. Never miss a schedule or leave his members waiting. 

So you adjust your position under the premise of stretching, not really sure if he buys the act but also not really caring. You push yourself up and quickly swing a leg over his thighs, feel them clench under you quickly as you’re settling on top of them.

“And just who are you working out for?” you challenge, quirking an eyebrow.

“I don’t hear you complaining,” is his only answer as he opens his eyes to look up at you. 

“Maybe I don’t want everyone else to see how good you look,” you pout.

“Maybe you should behave yourself then,” he retorts and you huff.

“I’m pretty sure you prefer it when I don’t,” you say.

You lean forward to kiss him before he can answer, lips meeting softly as his hands move up your thighs to grip your hips. He’s anchoring you to him and you know he’s mentally counting how much time he actually has. But you don’t want to give him that chance, don’t want to give up the tiny bit of control this position and the element of surprise have given you. You get the smallest bit of satisfaction when you break the kiss and he follows your lips. It’s not the time to get distracted, though, not now. So you kiss down his neck, suck just enough to earn a hiss out of him without it being enough to leave a mark. Not there at least. 

When you get to his chest, the muscles in his thighs tighten again. On purpose, you think, to distract you. It’s hard to ignore too, especially when his hands grip your hips harder. When you can tell he’s trying to throw you off.

“Baby,” he whines and you know that whine, know that it’s designed to distract.

All you do is hum against his chest as you continue to kiss across it and down his stomach. His moans are low, the kind that really get to you. The kind where you know he’s enjoying himself even if he’s not fully in control. You kiss back up to his chest and can feel his breaths as you go.

“What are you going to do now, baby?” he asks. You hear the confidence in his voice. The confidence that usually makes you stutter.

Not today, though. You suddenly suck the skin of his chest into your mouth. Seunghcheol hisses in the most satisfying way at the combination of pleasure and pain. His fingers dig into your skin where they hold you in place, making you hum into his skin. It just makes you keep going, managing to suck two marks into his skin before his alarm goes off. 

Without needing to be told, you slide off of him and allow him to get out of the bed. You know he doesn’t want to leave, but you know he’ll be back. Know that he’s got to keep to his schedule or he won’t be able to come over at all. After he’s pulled his shirt back on and gathered his things, he comes to stand in front of where you’re sitting at the edge of the bed. His kiss is soft, at odds with yours from moments ago.

“Listen carefully,” he whispers into your ear in that low voice. “I expect you to be waiting in bed when I text you that I’m headed back.”

“Is that so?” you challenge.

“Yes, pretty girl,” he says.

“And if I’m not?” you press.

“You’ll find out,” he answers.

That alone sends a shiver down your spine. You always want him to come back, never feel like you’ve had quite enough, but this is something even more. You’re looking forward to it. 

The text comes a little later than you’re expecting saying that he’s on his way back over. And it comes without an apology for the lateness (though Jeonghan had texted you earlier to let you know things were running long). No, this text just comes with a reminder that expects you to be waiting for him in bed. He’ll let himself in.

It gives you too good of a chance, one you don’t want to pass up. He’s expecting you to listen, especially after you marked him earlier. But you’ve been waiting for this. And you’re not going to listen. 

Ten minutes later, you hear the key turn in the lock and you sit further back into the couch wearing only one of his t-shirts he’s left behind and underwear. Maybe you’ll get to see a little of his control slipping. 

His eyes are on you the second he’s through the door, narrowing at the open defiance. Seungcheol is serious as he regards you sitting there. It’s like he’s waiting for you to break first and confident you will. It makes you fidget a little in your seat, which seems to be enough for him.

“I asked you to be waiting in bed,” he says.

“I know,” you respond without missing a beat. “I guess I’m not so good at following directions.”

“And what do you think I should do?” He’s more so asking himself the question than you.

“Whatever you want,” you answer anyway. He raises an eyebrow.

“Careful what you ask for, pretty girl,” he warns. 

“I think I can handle it.” It comes out just as bold as you mean for it to.

“We’ll see about that,” he says without missing a beat. “Follow me.”

Every part of you wants to protest, wants to keep pushing him further to see what happens. But your curiosity is also piqued and you really want to see what it is that he’s planning now. That must be why you let the intrusive thought win and follow him back into your bedroom where you find him already reaching into the drawer of your nightstand. The same drawer that he filled so you were always ready.

“Are you going to behave now and get on the bed like I asked?” Seungcheol asks with his back still to you.

“I’m not sure,” you say and smirk at the way it makes him turn around.

“Oh you’re not?” he asks. 

“What’s in it for me if I start listening? Who’s going to rile you up?” you fire back at him.

“You like seeing me riled up,” he notes.

“Of course I do,” you offer.

He closes the space between you in a matter of steps and crushes his lips against yours to prevent another retort. The surprise gives way to desire as you wind your arms around his neck. You’re not even that surprised when he grabs you and lifts you up to deposit you onto the bed, despite the gasp that falls from your lips. He puts a knee between your legs and kisses you hard again before he breaks the kiss to pull off your shirt. You reach to remove your underwear and he stops your hands.

“Leave those,” he says before getting off the bed.

His back is to you again as he looks for something in the drawer. You have to squeeze your legs together when he turns back to you with silk scarves in his hands. But then he’s silently asking your permission before attaching each wrist to the headboard and you’re nodding even as you’re squirming. It’s not until you realize he’s still got something in his hands that you remember he promised you’d find out what happens when you don’t listen.

“What’s that for, Cheol?” you ask as he straddles your lap.

“I told you that you’d find out,” he answers and leans forward so his lips are nearly on your ear. “You don’t get to see what I’m doing. Just remember the word to use if it’s too much.”

That makes you swallow hard. You’ve talked about sensory deprivation and explored it a little, but you’ve never been blindfolded from the start. And part of you thinks that he’s going to leave this on you the entire time. A reminder of who’s actually calling the shots. He’s still gentle when he secures it behind your head, so careful that he doesn’t get any of your hair caught. You blink your eyes when it’s in place without it making much of a difference. You’re not totally blinded, but you might as well be. You can barely make out a shadow.

The next thing you’re aware of is Seungcheol’s lips against your neck, carefully trailing kisses that make you want to press into him. His thumb brushes across your nipple and you whimper, earning a chuckle out of him. Not being able to see is making everything feel a lot bigger. Just making it feel a lot more. There’s no knowing where his hands or mouth will be next and it’s turning you on. Making you want everything all at once.

Seunghcheol drags your nipple between his teeth and you arch into him, careful not to pull too hard against the restraints. The hand he runs down your side as he continues to tease your nipple should tickle, would under any other circumstances. It doesn’t this time, though. 

“Are you going to listen to me next time?” he murmurs against your skin.

“I don’t know,” you manage between a moan. Your nipples are so sensitive.

“What was that?” he asks before he returns to kissing along the underside of your breast while his hand massages the other.

“I said I don’t know,” you repeat, fighting against the answer he wants.

“I guess the blindfold stays on,” he muses. 

With that, he works his way down your stomach, leaving a trail of kisses mixed with goosebumps from the warmth of his breath. Part of you wants to anticipate his moves and you open your legs, just slightly. He chuckles so quietly that you think usually you wouldn’t hear it. Except now everything sounds louder. You feel him remove his lips from your body, feel the bed shift from him moving somehow, and then feel his lips make contact with your skin again. But he’s kissing down from your knee, completely avoiding the place you want him the most. Even your moans and squirming do nothing to make him move on from kissing along your calf.

“Please baby,” you beg. 

“Please what?” he asks, smirk clear in his voice. 

“I need you,” you answer.

“Do you?” is all he asks 

“Yes, Seungcheol, please,” you whine.

“Are you going to listen next time?” he wonders. He runs a finger up your inner thigh, stopping just shy of the material separating you from what you need most.

“Cheol,” you plead.

“Are you?” he repeats. This time he moves your underwear to the side and runs a single finger between your folds. It’s over entirely too fast. “So wet.” 

“Fuck, yes Cheol, whatever you want, I just fucking need you,” you beg again. 

His answer comes in the form of pulling your underwear down swiftly, leaving you naked before him. He runs his finger along your folds again, collecting some of the wetness there. You’re so hyper aware of him that you’re moaning from the barest touch, moaning when you feel his fingers pull away again. But then you feel him move around you and he licks into you without warning, spreading your folds with his fingers to get his tongue deeper.

“Fuck, baby, fuuuuck,” you yell. 

You want to have your hands in his stupid blond hair, the hair he knew was going to drive you crazy. Want to hold his face between your thighs. So you lightly squeeze your thighs together instead and he moans into your cunt. It’s annoying, actually, how good he’s always been at going down on you because just the thought of it makes you agree to damn near anything. 

Everything just feels that much more intense. Usually you love the sight of Seungcheol between your legs. Love to watch the way his head moves, love to see the way his hair falls, love the way the muscles move. Still do. But damn there’s something about not knowing what’s coming that’s making it that much hotter. 

Seconds later his mouth moves up your clit and your back arches into his mouth again. He follows it by sliding a finger inside you and you really think you see stars. Hearing the way he moans into you along with the way his fingers move is almost too much. You don’t need to see anything, he’s setting your entire body on fire. When he slides a second finger in and hooks them to hit you just right, you scream out again. 

He pulls his mouth away. “Oh, do you like that?”

“Fuuuuu- oh my god Cheol, yes yes,” you manage.

“Who fucks you the best, baby?” Seungcheol asks. “Hm? Who does this pussy belong to?” 

It’s honestly into cocky territory and you don’t care. Didn’t realize it was this much of a turn on for him to be possessive over you like this. Didn’t realize how much you wanted to be his, even if it’s confined to these four walls. 

“I’m waiting,” he says, stilling his fingers inside you.

“It’s yours, Cheol, I’m yours,” you whimper.

His fingers start moving again and he doesn’t answer until you feel his mouth on yours, taste yourself on his tongue. He’s catching every moan with his mouth, pushing you to let go, urging you forward. Part of you wants to pull away, knows that he must feel you clenching around his fingers, but doesn’t move his lips from yours. Catches the screams you want to let loose and guides you as you come around his fingers.

Your breathing is still coming back to normal as you feel Seungcheol untying your wrists, massaging each one as he does so. The last thing he does is remove the scarf covering your eyes and you blink even at the low light in the bedroom. His gaze is soft but confident. He knows how hard he just made you come, yet still wants to make sure you’re okay.

“Can we do that again some time?” you wonder and he chuckles.

“I guess it wasn’t a punishment,” he notes.

“Oh no, I’ve definitely learned my lesson,” you tease and he rolls his eyes but there’s nothing behind it.

“Hm,” is all he says.

He’s sitting up on the bed next to you, one hand lightly stroking his cock. You’re not sure when he took off his clothes but just getting you off clearly turned him on. Without even thinking about it, you’re moving to straddle his thighs. His eyes watch you intently as you spit into your hand and move his aside. Your strokes are slow and he lets his head fall back, eyes closing. It’s not often that he lets you set the pace like this, so you’re going to enjoy it while you can. When you run your thumb over the tip, you watch the way the muscles in his stomach contract. And you know his patience is wearing out.

“Enough,” he says and reaches over to the nightstand for a condom. He’s ripping it open with his teeth and then rolling it on the next second.

Seungcheol reaches out to pull you toward him and you realize he’s not planning on moving. No, he’s planning on you riding him. Which is fine by you since you already went this long without being able to see him. You try to lower yourself down slowly because he’s big and as many times as you’ve fucked him, you’re still never quite ready. But he has other plans and pulls you down in one motion.

“Fuck,” you draw out.

“I don’t wanna wait anymore,” he says in that low voice that shoots straight to your core. 

You’re not sure which of you moves first with his hands guiding you as you fuck yourself on him. One of his hands slides up your back and into your hair, pulling it so you arch into him. The new angle has a string of words mixed with moans flying out of your mouth. And it makes it easier for him to pull your nipple between his teeth again. Except this time he doesn’t focus on your nipple. This time he moves to the skin at the side of your breast, sucking hard. Much harder than you sucked earlier. Definitely hard enough to leave a mark. Fucker.

That thought flies out when he snaps his hips into you suddenly, quickening the pace and angling so he’s hitting exactly where you need him too. Each thrust stretches you out and brings you closer to another orgasm. You don’t even register that you’re sensitive from the first. Seungcheol pulls at your hair again and focuses on your exposed neck, a constant contrast of pain and pleasure. He kisses up and down the base before he lands at your pulse point right below your jaw. 

“Cheol fuck,” you yell as he sucks another mark into your skin. Another mark reminding you that you’re his. 

“Are you close, baby?” he asks when he finishes marking you. “Gonna come for me again?”

“Yes, fuck, yes, I’m so close,” you whine out. 

Seungcheol removes his hand from your hair to put both hands on your hips, anchoring you in place while he takes over thrusting into you. You know he must be close too with the way his brow furrows and the way he stutters.

“Fuck baby, come for me, I want to feel you come,” he urges.

It’s all you need and you’re releasing again, a string of fucks leaving your lips as he comes right after you. You try to carefully move through his release before collapsing down on his lap with him still inside you. You lean your head forward onto his shoulder to try and steady your breaths. He kisses lightly along your shoulder, hands trailing absently across your skin.

You like every version of Seungcheol, but you think this version, in the immediate aftermath of fucking him, might be your favorite. The contrast of how soft his touches are does things to your heart that you’re not entirely sure you want to admit. Not to yourself at least.

After another long moment, you gently pull yourself off him and flop back onto your side of the bed. You feel, rather than see, him get off the bed and assume he’s walking off to the bathroom. When he returns with a washcloth a minute later, you’re running your fingers absently along the mark you’re sure he left below your jaw.

“Just in case you forget,” he says before he runs the wet cloth along your skin.

“Forget what?” you question.

“That you’re my girl,” he says. “You can try to be cute and mark my chest or be friends with my members like Jeonghan. But you’re mine.”

“Yes sir,” you say and appreciate the way his eyes darken. Maybe he’s not done with you for the night yet. 

thank you for reading, let me know your thoughts <3

[sanjisboyfie]

one piece smau: dating sabo edition

liked by sabosbf, kokoala, and 10k others

[name]sblondie: this is exactly why im always late to work

tagged: sabosbf and d.dragon

sabosbf: DONT TAG YOUR BOSS????? HES GONNA FUCKING KILL ME??????

-> kokoala: LMFAOAOOA

-> sabosbf: i'm fuckin scared what is going on koala

d.dragon: This is hardly an acceptable reason to be late to work, Sabo.

-> [name]sblondie: boohoo just say youre sad and single

-> divaiva: SABO you're so dead.

freeluffy: cuddling is worth it

[liked by d.dragon, kokoala, and 200 others]

-> kokoeala: just heard dragon-san gasp in his office hold on u might be saved

-> [name]sblondie: thankgodthankgodthankgod

-> freeluffy: huh?

liked by [name]sblondie, divaiva, and 18k others

sabosbf: he's urethral guys idk

tagged: [name]sblondie

[name]sblondie: i think you're urethral too baby

-> sabosbf: i love u i knew u would get my humor

-> [name]sblondie: of course i would my love <333

portgasace: no fucking way u two are real

dni_nami: something is telling me theres something wrong with the caption, but lemme not

-> sabosbf: what's wrong with it :0?

-> dni_nami: ....

divaiva: u two are the cutest (please change that caption, i'm telling you this out of the kindess of my heart)

[liked by kokoala, portgasace, and 140 others]

-> [name]sblondie: my boyfriends caption is perfectly fine

liked by [name]sblondie, sabosbf, and 19k others

portgasace: barfed in my mouth i hate them

tagged: [name]sblondie and sabosbf

[name]sblondie: be nice to ur brother in law damn

-> freeluffy: [NAME] IS OUR BROTHER IN LAW NOW !?!?!?!?

-> [name]sblondie: future* brother in law my bad

-> freeluffy: booooo :(

sabosbf: yeah i hate u too ace, the only rzn u ever go out w us is so u can leech off our wallets

-> portgasace: thats a fuckign lie asshole

-> sabosbf: BROKE ASS

[liked by [name]sblondie, freeluffy, and 100 others]

boahancock: luffy's brother and luffy's brothers boyfriend are so cute <3

-> [name]sblondie: damn she don't even know our names

-> portgasace: professional luffy dickrider (for some rzn)

kokoala: my favorite gays <3333

-> [name]sblondie: ?????

-> sabosbf: thank u koala ;)

-> [name]sblondie: ???????

liked by sabosbf, portgasace, and 20k others

[name]sblondie: guys do u think he loves spiderman more than me

tagged: sabosbf

sabosbf: if peter parker hit my line, im sorry

-> [name]sblondie: ????????

sabosbf: his theme song is my ringtone for u so i guess it connects?

-> [name]sblondie: YOU GUESS???

-> sabosbf: that just means ur my spiderman baby >///<

-> [name]sblondie: DONT TRY TWISTING THIS IN A COMPLIMENTARY WAY U JUS CONFIRMED THAT IM UR SECOND CHOICE

kokoala: spiderman >>>> any other man

-> sabosbf: u get me koala ughhh

portgasace: good taste [name], gooooddd tasteee

-> sabosbf: hehe

-> [name]sblondie: WHAT THE FUCK????????? STOP FLIRTING WITH OTHER MEN RIGHT NOW???

liked by [name]sblondie, divaiva, and 16k others

sabosbf: got jumpscared by this pic in my cameraroll pls someone buy this guy brown contacts

tagged: [name]sblondie

[name]sblondie: me looking at u when u wake up 🧿🧿

-> sabosbf: its ok babe jus please maybe think about blinking a little bit longer

kokoala: cannot hold a conversation with him without feeling like hes thinking about murdering me

-> portgasace: what i said

divaiva: nooo you'd ruin his natural beauty :<

-> [name]sblondie: thank u iva <3

-> [name]sblondie: YOU JUST VENMOED ME 40 BUCKS WITH THE MSG "listen to [name]" ???

-> sabosbf: LMFOAOA babe don't actually buy contacts i love ur eyes theyre pretty :3

d.dragon: They are quite terrifying.

[liked by kokoala, divaiva, and 90 others]

liked by sabosbf, kokoala, and 19k others

[name]sblondie: boyfriend appreciation post because even though hes got a weird sense of humor, hes still mine (...i guess)

tagged: sabosbf

sabosbf: HEHEHE he loves meeeeee

sabosbf: ok why that ugly ass photo of me as the second one what the hell is wrong w u u just hate me

sabosbf: I LOVE U SABO, LOVE UUU

-> [name]sblondie: love u too handosme (...i guess)

-> sabosbf: STOP WITH THE I GUESS i'd choose u over peter parker anyday baby pleaseee

portgasace: not [name] picking up on me and luffy's appetite too

[liked by kokoala, [name]sblondie, and 100 others]

-> freeluffy: bigger appetite is the best appetite !

sabosbf's story

RESTRAIN ME??? MY SEXY BOYFRIEDN IN MENSWEAR HOLY SHIT IM CREAMINNNNGGGG

[name]sblondie replied to your story: u shouldve told me sooner, i'll wear them more often now just for u babe ;)

[nebulousbrainsoup]

Hard hours are open ? ? If I may ~ ?

Thinking about boxer San cuz honestly the bouncy mv and the whole scene of San and wooyoung in the underground boxing ring made me dizzy 🫣🫣 really want that man to ruin me for me,, maybe as a lucky charm or a good luck quickie (maybe with a dash of wooyoung on the side 🤭😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫)

Idk your very recent mingi fic/ask is making me feel things lol

oh you absolutely may, my dear. that whole entire scene???? had me thinking Thots(tm) from the moment I saw it and I... mm. yeah for SURE I'm with you on this one.

18+ under the cut ; minors/ageless dni

buy me a ko-fi?

tags/warnings: gn!reader, woo's a lil jealous, lil bit of public sex, voyeurism, sorta poly, woo's a creep (affectionate), pet names (baby, my little charm), mentions of masturbation, unprotected sex (boo)

Because the thing about San—about nearly everyone in that dingy, sweat-filled basement, is that they do their best work when their blood's already pumping. Even when the place is nearly empty, only the fighters and their select entourages milling about, the residual energy is palpable. Wooyoung is not immune to it, as much as he may turn up his pretty nose at your pre-match antics. You think he does it more for his own pride than anything, trying to put himself above the fighters he manages, to maintain some degree of separation. Both you and San can see straight through that façade, and it's quite a laugh for the both of you each time he "accidentally" stumbles upon you. Each time, you're met with exasperation, and each time, once you're both sated, you fall into a fit of giggles over it.

Neither of you are stupid. You can see the way Wooyoung's eyes drag over the taut muscles of San's back and ass as he rails you against the wall under the stairs. San catches lingering stares when he's got you bent over the bathroom sink, his friend's eyes glued to where his cock is disappearing into you. You both have caught him glancing back at you in their dingy van's rearview, and San has his own little secret tucked away, having caught your name falling from Wooyoung's lips late at night. It's kind of fun to see how long he'll keep it up, so you bide your time, waiting until he comes to you. Until then, San has you, anywhere and everywhere he can.

At first, the whole "C'mon, baby, it's like a quick little testosterone boost" bit was just that, an excuse to get you under or over or on him (as if he needed one), but after the first match you couldn't make became San's first loss, you became his good luck charm. They'd shown up at your place before the next match, their blacked out van sticking out like a sore thumb, and both practically begged you never to miss a match again. Who were you to say no to their cute little pouts? Time was tight that night, you having gotten off work with just enough time to make it to the match yourself, so San had yanked you into the back and taken you then and there.

You were distantly aware of Wooyoung's wandering eyes, catching his gaze in the mirror once or twice for fractions of a second before he had to pay attention to the road again. Each time, you found yourself clenching around San's cock, a lazy smile spreading across your lips as his moans grew louder, hips snapping more roughly against your own. Your moans pitched up with the rough-handling, and your eyes snapped back to San's face, finding him smirking down at you.

Within seconds, he had also glanced up to the front of the van, smirk breaking into a grin as he moaned lowly into your ear. "He's eating this up," he muttered, leaning down to suck a mark into your skin. "Might wreck us; he's too busy jerking himself off up there."

Your walls fluttered around him as you felt the coil in your gut tightening, a heady "Sannie!" leaving you.

He hummed, pressing a chaste kiss to your lips, this time speaking loud enough for your companion to hear. "I know, baby, I'm almost there, can you just hold out a few more minutes for me? You know how much more it helps when my little charm cums with me."

The soft moan you let out pitched up violently as the van jerked to a stop, the sudden change in momentum driving San deep into you, his cockhead slamming against your sweet spot. You saw stars as you came unraveled, staring unseeingly up at the ceiling of the van. Wooyoung's voice and the shifting of San's hips brought you back down to reality, the latter muttering in his pout, "I was so close, dammit."

"Too bad, we're here. Put your fucking pants back on and take your frustration out in the ring," you heard Wooyoung mumble, the engine dying a second later. "I'm going in to stall. You have five minutes, tops."

San sighed as the driver's side door shut, his head hanging just slightly. Leaning down, he pressed a kiss to your forehead before moving to your lips, muffling your whines of overstimulation as he slid his still-hard cock from you.

"Not gonna use your five minutes?" you prodded, sitting up with him to straighten yourself out.

He shook his head. "And leave you with more of a mess to clean up? I've already got my lucky charm taken care of."

"Such a gentleman."

He grinned, leaning over to press a kiss to your cheek. "I'd rather save it for a victory lap anyway. Especially if you can get Woo to join us."

You raised an eyebrow, grinning mischievously as you buttoned your pants back up. "I'll see what I can do."

taglists (open): permanent: @justhere4kpop @tastymintchocolate @.soul-jae ateez: @pyeonghongrie-main @thatonenoona special: @jaehunnyy (come get ur mans baby)

© June 2023 nebulousbrainsoup | all rights reserved. do not copy, repost or translate my work

[devastatinglygreen]

Okay so now do what you think will happen after Colin finds out about Lady Whistledown. 🙏

so i sat on this for a little bit because i didn't really know how to answer it but i was chatting with @gleefullypolin, while totally not talking about polin nonstop, no. talking very normally i assure you.

i'm going to put the rest under the cut because it might have spoilers or speculation that people don't want to see:

alright so we know when colin finds out about LW, right? and we know they have a fight. a big one. obviously.

i think colin has to have a regression of his character. he's only been vulnerable around one person so far this season. penelope. and he loves and adores her and she's going betray (hello eros and psyche!) his trust.

there is no love without trust.

there's something very interesting we noticed while chatting about colin and his bro friends. they've been there each time he makes a choice about penelope.

the first ball, he chooses her over them after they're like, "the featherington girl? why concern yourself with her?" but then he tries to take it somewhere private and she checks him hard and cracked his armor. she was not impressed with that version of him and he knew it.

and he definitely will when he learns she's LW if he wasn't aware before

when he's not near them, he chooses her without thinking about it, he runs out after her at a ball when gossip about them is pretty much being said to their faces. even at the first brothel scene, he tells them he's late but then we see him at the market waiting for penelope. this man is a fake and a liar and we see him, we know what he's about. nerd.

in episode 3, he's with them at the balloon thing and they're messing with him about helping penelope and he's so dumb because he's like "i'm done with all of that. it's good to back" all cocky and lame like he wasn't just eating the same cupcake thing she did and staring at her. i was a dramatic teenage girl who once had a crush on a guy who i only saw at lunch and never knew his name and even i wasn't down that bad. good lord. embarrassing.

not really i love it, i love him so much

but he picks penelope over them again when he runs off to save her from the big mean hot air balloon.

we see them again in episode 4, at the library while he watches penelope through a mirror. because that's definitely not crying, screaming, throwing up behavior. they invite him out. for revelry. regency bro speak for possible syphilis and liver disease, it's fine.

he can't get down with his ladies of choice because he's knee deep in wishing he was balls deep in penelope instead. he stares at a wall. they manage to make us feel bad for a man sitting in a brothel. amazing.

we see them at mondrich's. they're talking about girls they probably didn't actually sleep with. oh sure, totally buy that you had access to a woman for 6 months straight. you bet, my guy, totally believable. colin is unhappy. he's like don't you ever want to have a feeling? they're like, no, i just feel the syphilis. it burns, bridgerton. we need antibiotics.

antibiotics won't be a thing for like another 100 years give or take good luck i guess

but he stays and drinks. he's picked penelope but he can't have penelope at this moment. he's in bed laying there waiting to sleep. or die. idk. he's a bridgerton, they're dramatic.

he sees them one last time in episode 4. they stop him. they're dicks. rude to will on top of it? pls. they invite him out and he says no. he's picked penelope once more but he doesn't say anything but "excuse me" and pushes through. they don't push back. they're like, fine. more chronic liver failure and fake stories for us, bro.

he finds penelope. causes a huge social upset that no one pays attention to because he's too busy ragging on debling for having the audacity to leave penelope for years. which is fair. colin would never.

chases penelope. catches her. not quite balls deep but knuckles deep at minimum, let's be real.

which, i am very sorry for this being this long at this point, is why i think we could see his "friends" again before the end. he's going to go through something world shaking and they're always there when he's making a choice but i think what's important to note is that he always makes the right one, he always picks penelope. i think he's not fully dropped that armor and it's easy to slip back into someone pretending not to care, especially when you're hurting. he's got to reject the man society wants him to be and, essentially, be the man penelope needs him to be. she's his purpose.

eta: colin loves to be penelope's hero. i think he's going to feel that pull over whatever else is going on.

i'm just saying it's a mirror of how penelope needs to reconcile how she's both penelope and lady whistledown. they both need to come to terms with who they want to be moving forward. symbolism or some shit.

or i'm totally wrong and all those words above mean nothing. either way i got to avoid folding laundry. time well spent if you ask me.

[izvmimi]

cw: minors dni!!! THIS IS A REPOST. deku interrupts you at work cuz he’s horny, also tbh this is radiologist!reader lmao, pseudo-domestic violence, car sex, questionable depiction of a medical professional. also i got inspired from a tiktok but i lost the tiktok so idk.

the high-pitched buzz of your phone vibrating on paper disrupts your focus, but to be quite honest, it’s a mental break you’ve needed after trying to figure out a case for the past twenty minutes. flipping it over, you can see a text from izuku on the screen, and you quickly unlock the phone.

i’ll be there in three minutes, can you slip away for a bit?

your eyes widen. it is a little past lunchtime, and as the thought crosses your mind your stomach growls. rising up quickly, you draft your report and call out to your attending who is glued to their own screen in the dark room that you’re taking lunch. she murmurs something in agreement under her breath.

it’s very bright outside in contrast to the reading room, but you make a quick way out to the driveway where patients are unloaded to see where izuku’s parked. he could probably walk (or jump) here but that attracts too much attention, so whenever he does surprise you at work, he shows up in the old SUV you refuse to give up despite the fact that he makes well enough money to upgrade you.

you grin as you see him, running up to the lowered passenger window. he grins as he sees you too - he didn’t work today, so he’s dressed down, although he looks upsettingly good in his simple white spandex t-shirt.

“what’d you bring me?” you say quickly, before even opening the door.

izuku raises his eyebrows.

“myself.” he’s still smiling but you frown and your stomach growls again.

“yourself?” you pout but then you get annoyed. he’s been home all day and you’re starving and he usually brings food if he can and thus food is all you can think of right now, even if you are always glad to see him.

“how long do you have?” he asks, tentatively as he starts the car but doesn’t drive off yet. “i missed you… and you’re coming home late again tonight…”

his hand rests on your knee and by the way he caresses it you can sort of tell already what he wants-

“not long enough if that’s what you’re thinking of,”  you pout. maybe you’re a little bit of a brat, but more childish anger wells up within you.

“you really didn’t bring any food?” you lament.

he chuckles, and drives off as you stare outside the window. it’s only when he makes a right turn off into the parking garage and not onto the main road that you start to wonder what’s going on.

“izuku?”

“indulge me a little bit?” he asks. the car continues to turn up and up and up until you’re basically on the rooftop. blood is starting to rush to your temples.

you turn to him, irritated this time.

“i’m not going to fuck you on my lunch break????”

he laughs then gives you a glance out of the corner of his eye.

“you’re absolutely sure you’re not?”

“izuku!”

“okay how about i do the fucking?” he jokes.

your heart is racing.

“i’m going to punch you and get out of this car if you keep messing with me like this,” your voice is sharp and shrill, and he laughs even harder.

“you’re so cute when you’re upset,” he teases. car now parked in the furthest corner, but uncovered so that it’s bright and the view of the city is the highest from your vantage point, he stops the vehicle and turns to you, pointing to his cheek.

“do it, baby. punch right here, as hard as you can.”

you grimace.

“i’ll do it for real.”

his green eyes gleam and he leans in. “go ahead. i’m giving you permission, sweetheart.”

it’s a small space, but your arm does find a way to draw back and you threaten it. he grins even wider now.

“if you punch me i’ll buy you dinner for real. we’ll have a feast, actually, whatever you want, okay? i dropped the ball. i am a terrible boyfriend, right? i deserve it.”

you hate when he starts like this because he will keep on egging you on, so reluctantly you draw back further and punch him in the face.

he barely moves from the impact and pouts.

“could be better,” he sighs. he takes your wrist before you can draw it back; it really wasn’t a hard punch, but you wanted him to shut up and now your hand stings a little. he can tell with the wince in your face, and kisses your wrist, eyes still focused on you.

your face warms. the close contact always does to you; he knows you too well.

“s-should we really?” you think out loud as he inches closer. he leans back for a moment and watches you carefully. he’s done bothering you at this point you can tell from the suddenly slightly more pensive look in your eyes.

“okay, you’re right that i missed you and didn’t think, just got in the car, so i’m sorry about that,” he murmurs. biting his lip, he rubs your hand in his lap.

a few moments pass, and you give in. you sigh and kiss him on the cheek.

“i missed you, too.”

you ponder for a moment long, and then kiss him on the lips.

who cares if it’s midday and you’re on the clock?

izuku knows what you’re thinking the moment your lips meet his, and his tongue is in your mouth instantly. in a practiced and thus fluid motion, he pulls the seat back while pulling you on top of him as you climb over the car console. your mouths connect and disconnect and his hand unravels your scrub top tucked into your pants and moves upwards to cup a breast. the kiss deepens and you moan into his mouth as his fingers toy with a pebbled nipple. your bodies start to rock together, and you forget that there’s a medical mystery you haven’t yet solved and you’re hungry and tired and still have 8 hours of work left, but regardless, you let yourself sink into your pro hero partner’s arms. he kisses your face and your neck, sucking gently down to the space between your breasts. you raise your hips, and the hard cock that’s been poking between your legs as you straddle him makes an appearance.

will you have time to clean up afterwards?

either way, you sink down onto his cock and soon your car is moving violently as izuku thrusts up and down and up and down and you throw it right back at him.

you can hear him moan as his fingers tighten around your hips but you’re still much, much louder. the sun is beating down and there’s even more heat in the car as you become sweatier through loosened clothing. izuku fills your appetite in another way, you have to admit.

always.

—

“did you change your scrubs?” your attending asks as you rush back to your desk nearly an hour later.

you stumble a bit as you barrel past, and thank the heavens that reading rooms are always dark.

“yeah, i spilled some soup so went to the call room and changed.”

“oh, that sucks. hey, i took over that draft for you. good job on that case, you were on the right track.”

“ah, yes.”

your stomach is still growling, but you have excellent dinner plans to look forward to at 8.

and maybe you’ll be fed again, a different way.

[bibiwrld]

Nerdy loser Anakin Skywalker!— Turned Bad Boy!

Pairing: Nerdy loser Anakin! x Black fem oc!

Author’s note: I honestly thought this was a cute and funny idea. Kinda short, but I’m thinking of a part 2, idk.

Bad boy! Bad boy!

Whatcha gonna do?

Can’t run away from ‘em

💋!

They weren’t girlfriend and boyfriend, that’s what they agreed on until Sydnee was ready and he was fine with that. Anakin thought what they had was special and he wouldn’t want to ruin it, but he couldn’t help but feel a little jealous when he’d see Sydnee talking to other guys around campus. They didn’t look like Anakin, they looked cooler— wearing fashionable and darker clothes, messy dark hair, piercings, always had a cigarette between their lips and they spoke with such vulgars words.

Was that allowed? Talking to other people?

Even if he wanted to, Anakin couldn’t, no other girl caught his eyes quite like Sydnee did. She was the only one for him.

He paced his living room with his phone to his ear, listening to it ring. “Pick up, pick up—”

“Anakin, it’s late, this better be some type of emergency.” Obi-Wan, his older brother, groaned.

“I-it is!” Anakin interjected, standing in place. “I met a girl.” His voice now a little more hushed.

Obi-Wan almost choked. “A girl?!”

“Don’t sound so shocked.” He said with rolled eyes. “I just need..a–a little advice.”

“I’m your older brother, that’s what I’m here for.”

“Do you think girls like edgy bad boys?” He plopped down on his couch.

“Some girls do, yeah. Girls think they’re cooler, more attractive, assertive. They like laid back guys, very nonchalant, guys who just don’t give a shit, y’know?”

Anakin was none of those things.

“I should just fake it, huh?” He adjusted his glasses.

“What’s the worst that could happen?” Little did Obi-Wan know what he told his younger brother, was the worst advice ever.

Right after that phone call, Anakin went on a shopping spree. Buying a new wardrobe that consisted of dark tees with cool graphics, dark long sleeved shirts and baggy jeans. He also stopped at Target and bought black and blue hair dye, fake piercings and contact lenses.

He stood in front of his mirror, listening to the audiobook of The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath, with a patch of blue in his hair.

He couldn’t believe he was going through with this. He looked at himself in the mirror, trying to shake off the uneasy feeling.

His arms grew tired as he dabbed a section of his hair with a hair dye brush coated in black hair dye. He prayed this came out good, finally putting a clear plastic cap on his head.

💋

“I was thinking of hitting up this club tomorrow night, I heard they got male strippers.” Lilian slowly scrolled on her phone giggling.

“Wait for real?” Chloe leaned all the way into Lilian trying to look at her phone. “Oh my God, they’re hot.”

Sydnee didn’t really care to look, she had other things to worry about, like where Anakin was. He didn’t send a good morning text like he usually does every morning, as he’s always up before her, she hasn’t seen him around campus and it usually doesn’t take long for her to see him walking around.

“What’s your problem, Sydnee?” June asked with obvious attitude, chewing her gum obnoxiously as her nails clicked against her phone.

Sydnee doesn’t know why she still hung around this girl, she was so rude and annoying. “I’m just wondering where Anakin is, that’s all.”

“Now that you mention it, I didn’t see him in Physics today.” Chloe rested her chin into her palm, suddenly thinking about Anakin.

“Seriously girl?” June scoffed. “You’re still hung up on that guy? It was one thing to fuck him, but to actually give a shit about him is crazy.”

Sydnee’s fist balled up, slowly turning her head towards the obnoxious snob. Before Sydnee or Chloe could say something in defense of Anakin, Lilian cut them off.

“Is that..is that Anakin?” Her tone was a mix of surprised and a bit of disbelief.

Sydnee quickly turned around, searching the busy cafeteria for the boy with glasses, but she didn’t see him at all. She squinted, then noticed a tall guy in an army green tee, baggy ash jeans, grey converse and black, messy hair, sluggishly walking over to them.

She could only stare in awe, her eyes just following him as he got closer. She noticed he had on black eye shadow, messily smeared on his lids.

He dropped his bag on the floor, sitting beside Sydnee. “Hey doll face.” He removed the cigarette from his lips, giving her a quick peck on the cheek.

“Doll face?” Sydnee silently muttered to herself. He’s never talked like that, ever.

“Sup girls?” He nodded to the 3 girls.

“Uh..hey?” Lilian rose a brow.

“What’s with the look?” Chloe asked.

He focused hard on every word, trying not to stutter.

“Can’t a guy express himself?” He snapped, slouching and spreading his legs.

“I think he looks better this way.” June gave small nods.

Of course she did.

Sydnee rolled her eyes at June, then brought her attention back to Anakin. She reached her hand out to fix his hair . “You have bed head, Ani—”

He corrected her, moving his head so she couldn’t touch it. “Anakin and that’s just how my hair is.”

“Well Anakin, you missed Physics class.” She narrowed her eyes at him, taken back by his actions. “And you didn’t text me, I was worried.” Her voice softened, a pout on her lips.

He took a small drag from his cigarette. “Woke up late.” It took everything in him not to choke.

“You never wake up late.” Her brows furrowed.

“Are you wearing eye makeup?” Chloe leaned over, examining him.

His voice was a bit shaky, trying to maintain that dominant tone. “No…?”

“Okay, liar.” Lilian chuckled.

Sydnee looked him over and over again, noticing every detail about him. She didn’t hate the look, but she was a bit confused.

“What’s with the cigarette? You don’t even smoke cigarettes.” Sydnee felt like she was losing her mind. “And your hair…did you dye this yourself? And when did you get all these piercings?”

Anakin shrugged. “I’ve found myself, y’know?”

Sydnee knew something was up, but she didn’t know what. “Where are your glasses?”

“Don’t need em.” Smoke escaped his pink lips.

“Can you stop with the smoking? We’re indoors.” She screwed up her face.

“Whatever.” He took the cigarette from his lips, smushing it at the heel of shoe, then flicked it off somewhere.

June then jumped in. “Why don’t you stop complaining and appreciate that your boy toy looks hot?”

That was it.

Sydnee grabbed her bag and abruptly stood up. “Go fuck each other.” Looking June and Anakin in the eyes before storming off.

Anakin internally panicked, this wasn’t going how he planned it was.

“What’s her deal?” June screwed up her face.

“You obviously don’t know what the deal is because there is no fucking deal.” He spat before grabbing his bag to chase after Sydnee.

Sydnee hustled down the hall, stepping harshly with arched brows.

“Sydnee!” His voice called out. “Sydnee!”

She rolled her eyes and stopped walking, leaning against the wall with crossed arms. “What is it, Anakin?”

“Y-you’re mad.” He frowned, standing in front of her.

“Well duh.”

“I-I’m sorry.” He breathed out. “I thought you’d like m-me..like this.”

“I don’t hate how you look, but the way you’re acting, why would I like that?” She looked away.

“B-Because I saw you talking t-to guys…that l-looked like this.” He breathed out. “I-I thought i-if I–uh— if I looked and acted like them, maybe you’d l-like me more.” He hung his head low.

Her arms gradually unfolded at his confession. “Anakin, what?”

“I-I know, it’s sooo em-embarrassing.” He groaned. “I-I hate cigarettes!” He then tugged off one of the fake earrings. “Th-these aren’t even real!”

Sydnee couldn’t help but laugh. “You’re too cute, Anakin.” She cupped his face, bringing it down to hers.

“Call me Ani, plea-please, I like it when you call m-me that.” He nuzzled his face into her hands.

She couldn’t help but smile. “Don’t ever change yourself, I like you just as you are.” She brought her lips to his, tasting the cigarette he smoked, but she didn’t care.

His hands found her waist, bringing her in closer.

The smacking of their lips were the only things heard in the empty halls. She softly tugged on his bottom lip, making him moan out.

“So cute.” She muttered before pulling away. “You do look really hot though.”

“Really?” He beamed.

“Yeah.” She bit her lip. “How about we go back to your place and fuck with your little bad boy cosplay on, hm?”

He covered his mouth in excitement. “Oh my God, y-you’re so insanely a-attractive.”

She giggled, holding his hand. “Come on, bad boy Anakin.”

💋

[alaskan-wallflower]

Do you got any Ponyboy headcanons you’d like to share? ✨

Ooh sure’ (sorry this is so late 😭)

His favorite kind of meat is fish. He will literally eat an entire boat full of them because he loves them so much

He used to be a very picky eater as a kid and then Darry started making him eat other foods when their parents died and Pony just grew out of it

He spent his entire 14th birthday crying in his room. He was absolutely inconsolable. Soda and Darry made him a cake but it wasn’t the same as his parents

He’s only been to jail once for beating someone up after Johnny and Dally die

I don’t really have LGBT headcanons for the gang but he is kind of a bi-con

He has a preference for girls tho

He never eats breakfast on school days because he feels bad for “wasting food” so he just spends the entire day hungry (he gets made fun of for it during school)

He has jumped people with Dally but felt super bad after

He writes down his dreams for the future in his journal and doesn’t know Soda snoops through his diary lmao-

Most of it is just poetry but sometimes it’ll be stuff like “I wish I could afford a copy of ‘insert book’” and sodden my boom-he finds that book on his nightstand the next day (Soda buys it for him)

He gets a job at a diner because Johnny worked there and got jumped, so he takes up a job too in order to help keep Johnny safe

Hes a favorite of the customers because he’s genuinely kind of charming when he wants to be

Him and Johnny gossip about the shitty customers tho like he’s so two faced at work lmao

He also gets a part time job working at the library and recommends all sorts of books to newcomers

He also helps people out with homework sometimes if he knows them (like if they’re school friends)

Hes not as quiet as he thinks he is-he can strike up a conversation with just about anyone. He just doesn’t like to.

Soda teaches him pretty privileges (Pony ends up being a pretty boy I know it)

He has a bit of a southern drawl and it comes out when he’s nervous or upset

After the book he starts yelling back a lot more

Him and Soda never fight and when they do it’s over the stupidest shit like Pepsi or Coke being better but they’ll actually start fighting and won’t talk for hours

He had a girlfriend (canon) and she when broke up with him. He was a wreck for weeks

Him and Darry start watching football together and the two are OBNOXIOUS

They will scream and cuss at the TV when their team is losing

He starts working out too with Darry but he overdid it and had to be dragged out by Darry in the end

He actually has really nice legs from doing track

Darry successfully gets him off cigarettes and onto Nicotine gum but it took almost four years to do so

He breaks his streaks really easily though and will absolutely beat himself up about it because he doesn’t want his brothers to be disappointed in him

He has pretty bad PTSD after the church and is afraid of fire for quite some time after (coincidentally not his own lighter fire tho)

I feel like he would take up unhealthy habits to exhibit control because he feels like his life is falling apart and he needs something in his control (idk what exactly it would be but y’know)

He has a hard time ordering at restaurants because he tends to be self conscious about what he’s ordering. He knows he has a humongous appetite and is mortified by it

His brothers used to tease him for it until he just broke down in tears after they went too far. They felt AWFUL

he gets really and seasonal allergies. Catch him in spring and his nose is a faucet.

He LOVES animals and will feed the strays with Johnny. Especially after he died, Ponybwould try to find homes for the animals that could be kept as pets and those that couldn’t be tried to release into the wild

He has rehabilitated a number of animals-squirrels, birds, a kitten once…

Darry is so over it

He cries at music. He’s more emotional than he lets on. He has big feelings just like Sodapop but doesn’t let them out like his brother does

He gets REALLY ticked off when people ask if his real name is Ponyboy. Especially after his parents death because he feels like they’re making fun of his dad for naming him as such.

He loves Italian food

He isn’t touchy with anyone in public because “he wants to look tuff 😡”

But in private you can’t get him off you. Good luck trying.

He LOVES catching fireflies

He cries at Bambi

[samcarpentersgirlfriend]

could you possibly do wes asking reader on an actual date after gaining a crush from reader from the fake dating :)?

sure, thank you for requesting!! ♡

MAKE IT REAL || WES HICKS X READER ⋆⭒˚｡⋆

summary: above

word count: 931

warnings: g!n reader, use of y/n (tried to keep it to a minimum) maybe an abrupt ending? idk I didn’t really know how to wrap it up sorry :((

y/n: sorry I’m late!!

y/n: I’ll be there in five minutes I promise

That was eleven minutes ago.

Wes sighs as he reads over the message for what feels like the thousandth time, each passing second only serving to make his shaky nerves even worse. Hell, he feels like the anticipation is going to kill him slowly - well, either that or he’s gonna throw up all over the table.

Wes really hopes it isn’t the latter.

When he’d asked you last night if you wanted to meet up at your usual diner - the one the two of you had frequented when discussing the ins and outs of your fake relationship, he thought he’d be fine. It was casual enough, right? He’d buy you your favourite milkshake and then tell you straight up how head over heels he was for you and hope that you wouldn’t laugh in his face. No, that was unfair, you were too damn kind and downright perfect to laugh at Wes like that, but his point still stands. The last thing he wants is to totally embarrass himself and make you uncomfortable in the process.

When you’d first asked him to be your fake boyfriend, he’d laughed in your face - quite literally. Because there was no way in hell you were being serious; fake dating was a trope reserved for shitty romcoms alone. But when he saw the look on your face and how much it would mean to you, Wes caved. And then he really fell.

Because how could he not, when you called him yours in front of all of your friends, an arm around his waist pulling him close? How could his heart not skip a beat when you’d run into his arms after class, your body pressed to his with your sweet scent leaving him completely reeling? And overtime, it became natural - second nature. He’d grab your hand in the hallway without even thinking about it, and the pet names slipped easily from his lips. It was easy to forget sometimes that everything was for show, that it was all a façade. But it was real to the rest of the world, and honestly? It felt more than real to Wes.

So it wasn’t long before you took over his mind completely, thoughts of your blinding smile and stupid jokes keeping him awake at night. It was pathetic really, how much you made Wes want. Want something real.

It was driving him crazy, and so, despite his better judgement, he was finally going to do something about it.

Just as he contemplates sending another text, the telltale chime of the bell above the door has him whipping his head around so fast that it’s a miracle he doesn’t get whiplash. You look beautiful as always, but that barely counts as a surprise anymore.

You don’t even need to look around for Wes, he notices, as you make you way to the booth the two of you always sit at.

“Hey, sorry I kept you waiting” you say sheepishly, sliding into the seat across from Wes. “Aw, you got my favourite!” You smile when you notices the tall milkshake on the table in front of you. “Here, I’ll pay you ba-

“Nah, I’ve got it, don’t worry about it.” Wes assures you as casually as he can muster. The anticipation is killing him, and he doesn’t know how much longer he can wait anymore.

“So, um, I actually asked you to come here for a reason.” He admits, gauging your expression for your reaction.

“Wait, so you don’t just want to hang out with me for the hell of it? Ouch.” You tease, and Wes can’t help but smile despite himself.

“You know what I meant. Anyway,” he begins again, “I wanted to talk to you about our… fake relationship.”

You immediately perk up. “You need me to be your partner for hire this time? I think I can work with that.”

Your positive reaction serves to give Wes that bit more confidence. “Not exactly. But you know, I really did have fun. Pretending to date you, I mean.”

“Me too.” You respond, a smile playing on your lips and an unmistakable warmth in your eyes.

“Good. I’m glad. So,” Wes says, drawing out the word as you take a long sip of your drink, “I was thinking that maybe we could do it again. But… for real, this time?”

You instantly look up, your expression unreadable even to Wes. He can’t stop now though, so he carries on speaking. “I wasn’t going to say anything because you’re my best friend and I don’t wanna make things awkward. But… I can’t stop thinking about you, Y/N. I’ve tried. But you just keep coming back.” Wes laughs, but it’s more out of nervousness that out of humour. “Point is, I really like you. A lot. So maybe, you know, if you feel the same way, we could try being more than just friends?”

You open your mouth to speak, but you close it again before you can. You’re silent for a painstakingly long few moments, and it’s driving Wes insane to the point that banging his head on the table would be less painful.

Finally, you speak.

“Really?” You breathe hesitantly, like you can hardly believe him. Like he’s the one out of your league.

“Yeah! I mean, if you want to, obviously.”

“Hell yeah I want to.” The grin on your face is blinding, and one that’s reflected by Wes completely.“I thought you’d never ask.”

[scaratastic]

My love.

in which how male genshin characters shows their love to you. ( might contain some grammatical error or even spelling mistakes idk i don't proofread cus we die like real men /j )

fluff

Kaeya

many people said that he's most likely to cheat on his s/o when in fact, it is quite impossible for him to do that.

man certainly has abandonment issues after losing both of his dads and his brother. sorry

i personally view him as the type to show you how much he loves you both by actions and words but slightly more to words (?) .

like he'd tease you about how beautiful you look, how gorgeous you truly are etc during times when he just feels like it but there's also time where he just wants to feel your body against his own, arms securing your body while inhaling your scent as you both cuddled before heading off to dreamland.

he'd certainly tease you during random times which will make you get all flustered. this man is full of surprises.

even if he's the type to always joke around and tease you nonstop, he'll always make sure that you know just how much he loves and cherish your existence in his life!

Diluc

he's the type of guy who'd buy you random gifts or give you some flowers that has special meanings behind it.

dinner dates or any type of dates that you prefer. yes, he loves to spoil you.

list all the things that you want, he'll get them for you. even if it is impossible, he'll find a way.

"if you're happy, then i am happy."

he gives everything to you. his love, his trust, himself, literally everything.

he might be a man of a few words and very awkward during the early stage of your relationship but he'll warm up later.

waking up in the morning with him cuddling you hehe

i can actually see him being a bit clingy here, specially when he overworked himself for the past few days. he'll definitely not let you go even if you squirmed and whined, reminding him that he has to wake up or he'll be late for work.

overall a very caring, kind, polite and a bit clingy type of lover. so take care of him please 🙏

Bennett

he would collect any pretty items on his adventures and give them to you as a suprise.

definitely brags about how you are literally so amazing and the best human to ever exist in teyvat to everyone.

"[Name] is just so amazing ! They can fight, they can cook, they can clean—" and so, the list of him praising you goes on.

adventures with him as a date. although he swore that the route that he chose for the both of you to walk through was literally clear a few hours ago, why there's so many monster there now ?

poor boy thinks that it's because of his bad luck. but hey, atleast he got the chance to admire your fighting skills while getting ready to brag about this cool moment of you to katheryne and his friends.

he's just smitten over you okay

Razor

he's clingy.

you can't blame him though, sometimes you just get so busy that you don't have time to visit him in Wolvendom.

he knows your scent and probably recognised the sound of your footsteps so whenever you came to visit, he's already waiting for you on the entrance of Wolvendom.

would escort you to a safe place before asking you to sit as he lays down with his head on top of your leg and buried his face to your stomach.

silently asks you to play with his hair because it's comforting.

okay but just imagine you both in that position beneath a tree, and then you read or tell him a story.

he would grow curious about it and asks questions from time to time. oh, and his reactions are priceless.

like he'd gasp, gets excited when the character from the story that you told him was about to have a good ending and probably huffs and groan when the story did not go well.

picnincs with him mhm. feed him and he's all red. would probably return the favor to you.

Albedo

he probably doesn't allow you to visit him when he's in dragonspine too much because he's worried about you.

but when you do visit him though, he'd ask you to sit down on the chair he provided while lending youb a hot drink to warm yourself up.

this little visit would often turn into study dates. when he sees you curiously observed his movements, he would ask you to come to him as he lends you his notes and explains to you what is his goal and so on.

yes, he won't just leave his job for you. but he'll talk and try to start a conversation with you just so you won't feel lonely and such. what do you expect from a workaholic anyw

would make some things that he thinks you'd like from alchemy and gives it to you.

"it reminds me of you.. so please, take it."

Venti

a date in the tavern.

him flirting like crazy with you as you turned red and shamelessly flirt back. Diluc often kicks your drunk ass and your boyfriend out of the tavern because of this though.

if your're not the type to enjoy alcohol or doesn't like the idea of getting drunk with your boyfriend in the tavern as a date though, then don't worry ! this lil boyfriend of yours got it covered.

would probably try and convince you to sneak out and join him stargaze.

while you're both stargazing, he'd summon his lyre and plays with it while humming a soft tune that'll make the night much more comfortable and enjoyable.

you both would play around like kids afterwards, making some of the monsters notice your presence but venti would take care of them though ;)

during random times, he would just stare and admire you silently.

"have anyone told you that you look absolutely gorgeous ?"

throws random compliments during the most random time. like he'd literally say "you're very pretty you know." after you clear out a hilichurl camp and ofc you'd go like "what"

he's unpredictable. much like kaeya, he is full of surprises. so be prepared of whatever plan that he has in his mind.

njdndjdndjd i still have no scara and no primos i'm about to cry, but anyw should i do this for other characters as well ?

[sneakertin]

auughhhrh. i think i have adhd but. maybe i don't. idk. i don't wanna self diagnose but at this point im torn between thinking "there's no fucking way i don't have it" and "but what if i don't". getting a diagnosis is Impossibly difficult and stressful and expensive and we barely have any even remotely working medication where i live so it's not really an option for now. but if i do have it then that means there's an explanation for everything that's wrong with me and it all has a reason and it's not something I'm personally responsible for. but if i don't then that means that im just a lazy stupid nobody with no ambitions. which would be very sad but goddamn there are way too many symptoms to even consider myself being neurotypical. for some reason i feel like it's getting worse and worse everyday but that's probably because i just started uni and there's a lot of change in my life and i haven't been getting enough sleep lately cus i physically can't fall asleep before midnight or sometimes even later but i have to wake up at six. and also because there's a thing that constantly stresses me out at all times(calculus) that i feel like i genuinely can't do anything about even if i try really hard. but i just constantly feel like I'm not in control of my own brain. focusing is so damn hard and even when i do focus i loose it very quickly and end up just bouncing back and forward trying to keep my mind in one place. when i try to read something for homework it feels like my eyes just don't wanna look at the screen and i have to force them not to look away. every couple of minutes or less my thoughts drift away and i only notice it afterwards. when i try to sit down and watch a calculus lecture in hopes of understanding this little personal hell of mine i feel soooo frustrated it almost feels like physical pain and i just turn it off after two minutes. i can't do anything and i don't want to. every task feels like there's a weight on my shoulders. I'm so irresponsible. i keep ignoring or putting off stuff that i need to do and someday the consequences will catch up to me. i don't wanna study. i just wanna do only the stuff that i like all the time. i wanna waste money and go to pretty cafes and buy snacks and be on the internet and watch my fav shows and read fanfiction and read books and analyse literature and watch movies and cry because of them and watch video essays and sometimes cook and clean and draw and draw and draw all the time. which is so embarrassing because im so privileged. i have the chance to get education and yet i feel like I'm not grateful enough and i feel so guilty for being so lazy all the time. im not saying that i wanna drop out, no. but the situation is that I'm not studying what i wanted rn but I'm gonna transfer to where i want at the end of the semester but that means i have to study all these subjects that i despise and don't understand at all and somehow not get expelled till january.

ok, so, i started writing this when i was a bit overstimulated but now that i have written my thoughts down i feel like things are fine now and i feel better. urghh. i don't even know if should post this now. that's so embarrassing, why am i so dramatic.

anyway. but i do fuck up things in my life very often because i put off things that i don't wanna do. when i had my extremely important school exams that would determine whether i get into uni or not, i barely even studied for them. i only did like a day/half a day of active studying for each subject. i kept procrastinating even when that fucking exam that some people have mental breakdowns over was due to be the next day. i did get into uni, but not into the course that I wanted, because my exam results were not quite enough. but that wasn't really a problem because i could've easily transferred to where i want at the very start of the semester, but. i kept putting it off and it turned out you can only do that during the first two weeks and now I'm in the situation that I've described earlier. and don't even get me started on the shitshow that happened when i was in driving school. and it was all entirely my fault. and school in general have always been difficult for me but in school i could get away with not doing anything cus im not stupid, and i even had good grades. but that doesn't work in uni cus in uni they don't teach you anything, you learn everything yourself, and i quite literally can't study. adhd medication sounds like a dream, honestly. you take a pill and suddenly you can function like a normal person and work for hours and even enjoy it. how fucking cool is that.

so ehmm. i don't really have anything to say, just wanted to write. something. don't mind me, really :)

wait, no. i just remembered why i wrote all this. so, I'm kind of addicted to tiktok, which is my greatest curse and i accidentally got into fucking "studytok" and now my fyp is filled with happy american uni students studying for 12 hours straight and talking about obscure studying techniques with weird names and all of that is just. so. from another realm from me, honestly. how do they do that. am i even the same species as them

[haruniki]

hii :] can i request aa power x sleepy reader

like

reader is tired and out of energy most of the time and just dozes off at random times :]

thank you if you do this request! no pressure!

hello!! thank you for requesting! I apologize for this being late, im at school so idk if this will send properly lol, pls enjoy! I apologize if it is ooc and if it's too short, still learning how to write both Power and Kobeni

Power with a sleepy partner <3

Power thoroughly believes that the stuff called coffee will solve it

If you are also apart of the division, Power forces Aki to make/buy coffee for her to give to you. Won't drink any of it herself as she doesn't like the way it taste but she's always bringing it to you

If you don't drink coffee, she'll try to find some way to keep you

If need a quick nap, Power offers her chest or lap as a pillow

When you do that, Power brags about it to Denji

"Early today (y/n) used my lap as a pillow! They were sleeping so soundly and the your loud mouth ruined it by asking Aki that stupid question"

Likes to play your hair while you sleep

Sometimes you might wake up with knots in your hair as Power trues to braid strands of hair but doesn't seem to understand how quite yet

The first time you fell asleep, Power thought you died or something. She was talking about how Meowy did a cute thing earlier that morning and then you face first into her, asleep.

You woke up to Power yelling about how she accidentally killed you by boring you to death

After explaining the situation, she konda understands, not fully but a little bit.

She now just kinda lets you fall asleep wherever. Though she does prefer if it's not during a mission, Power would hate to see you die by a devil for falling asleep

Power enjoys days off where you can both stay in and sleep in the same bed, especially since Meowy can join in with your naps.

And despite her knowing it's a little creepy, Power loves watching you sleep. She might not admit it, but she thinks you truly are pretty when your asleep. From the way your eyelashes lightly flutter in your sleep to the calm rhythm of your breathing. She likes it and wants to spend more time like this together.

[astralfuchs]

Given how “unique” a Miku concert would be I’m surprised Crypton themselves didn’t send some team members or equipment personally to make sure things are set up right bc other than some performers that might hide their face/wear disguises idk how many usual concert locations have something prepped for “holo” projections compared to Japan and their Vtuber boom (although I’d rather buy a plushie from a booth but hopefully at least the theatres would have good sound quality)

Sucks for any workers scrambling and getting hate/hope it doesn’t affect the sales of any other indie ppl performing their concerts

The weird thing is it worked before. I went to miku Expo 2018 in cologne and 2020 in Berlin. Both times it was an actual hologram concert with the same band as magical Mirai. Neither of these two locations had a concert like this before, I'm pretty sure. All of the equipment must've been toured around with thew Miku Expo crew. Going against advertising and expectations (basically all of these concerts, and like all of them in recent years were holographic) without notifying buyers beforehand and also not even afterwards when people keep asking is, to put it lightly, customer unfriendly at best and a scam at worst.

I arrived a bit late in 2018 since I only had standard so I don't know how it was there, but in 2020 people went around giving out free stickers and badges, or general stuff they got from other miku events. One of them seemed to be a huge meiko fan so when she gifted me something I gave her the meiko badge I got from the random gacha button bags. Stuff like that really made it feel like a community coming together, so reading that giving out badges, stickers, etc. wasn't allowed this year, even for people who specifically got an okay from cfm and also got their stuff stolen from is surreal.

I had vip in 2020 and as far as I know everyone got their vip merchandise, which doesn't seem to be the case this year, which makes no sense because you would know how many people at this location have the vip ticket. Another thing I read is that vip ticket holders were supposed to be let in earlier for merchandise and the concert hall but it didn't happen, which also worked flawlessly before in my experience.

Merchandise being not enough for everyone is sadly not new, I was in line for it in 2018 and when I was three people away the store people shouted they were all sold out, which was very much a bummer but I thankfully bought the penlight and t-shirt beforehand in the online store so it wasn't too bad for me and as I said I was quite late to the so definitely in the latter half of the people that got in. Still should've been more but I would chalk it up to being the first concert in Europe and them not having expected such a huge crowd maybe. How this is still the case 6 years later and in America where there were concerts way before 2018 is beyond me.

I don't know if this is because of crunchyroll (it probably is tho) but I can't say cfm is innocent either since they partnered with them and it's their job to ensure everything is up to standard, which clearly didn't happen.

For me, I was really happy to hear there was going to be a Europe one again, especially since I really loved it, it is such a magical experience so the last year's being online only made me super sad since it isn't the same in the slightest, but seeing it's also partnered with crunchyroll I decided against it. It's because I loved it so much that it really saddens me to see what is currently going on (also probably why I wrote so much, very sorry). Miku Expo is one of the best, magical and insane events you can go to as a vocaloid/piaproloid fan and I wish for all fans, people who've been in the Fandom longer and already have been to Miku Expo, and newer fans that didn't have the chance yet, to have that same experience but this is not it. This being someone's first miku expo experience is just a sad thing to think about considering what a massive downgrade the experience is. I hope there will be official statements soon and that the people who are currently experiencing it still have a good time.

[legendary-defender-of-fandoms]

Pros of seeing Beetlejuice by myself either before or after seeing it with my family:

My sister in particular hates seeing stuff live with me because I get too invested. Idk if I clap & cheer too loud, or whisper too much about the stuff I like as the show is going on, or if it’s just a Me Being Her Annoying Little Sister thing, but it always feels like her agreeing to be seen in public with me is a huge sacrifice on her part. If I see the show by myself, I can have one Core Memory of enjoying the production without worrying about embarrassing her.

My brother’s being a bit of a sad sack right now, and God knows how long his moping will last (long, stupid story not worth recounting). Hopefully he’ll be better by June, but I’m not holding my breath. Again, seeing the show by myself means I’ll have one memory of it being just me & the Bug Man (and a few hundred strangers).

My relationship with my dad is . . . complicated. He said yes to seeing the show, but I think it’s because he had nothing else going on that night. He doesn’t have the ambition to reach out & ask others if they want to hang out, and I got tired of always initiating. And it might be kind of awkward watching Charles & Lydia go through THEIR complicated relationship while my dad is right there.

Our seats for the show aren’t the best in the house. We’re way in the back next to the sound booth. Good shot of center stage, I’m sure we’ll see everything that happens. But I wish I’d bought the tickets sooner so I could be in one of the Audience Interaction Zones. If I’m gonna be the only weirdo saying “AWWWWWW” while the rest of the audience is laughing at Beetlejuice’s abandonment issues, I want to be HEARD, God damnit!

Stinky lonely pansexual bug man make brain go brrrrr.

Cons of seeing Beetlejuice by myself either before or after seeing it with my family:

Money. I think tickets are a little over $100 a pop. I make enough money to make it fine to spend almost $500 on tickets to see a show with 3 others, and I can definitely swing an extra ticket to see it by myself. It’s more the principle of the thing. Is it WORTH spending an extra $100 to see the same show twice? (The part of my brain that’s hyperfixating on Beetlejuice is screaming “HELL FUCKING YEAH!!!”, but the practical side of my brain is annoying & whispering “you have bills to pay, your cats need to go to the vet, what if you lose your job even though you have crazy stupid job security”)

Availability. If I decide to see the show by myself, I have to decide NOW because tickets went crazy fast (or maybe they went super slow but were available for ages & I didn’t know because I just got bit by the BeetleBug last month). I was lucky to find four seats together for the show I’m already booked for. Finding one seat by myself won’t be quite as hard, but they might be gone by June.

My family will judge me. Not really a con, more of a fact of life. They already judge me for the rest of my “personality quirks” (aka my problems that they’re already aware of). Does it really matter if they have yet another reason to give me the side-eye at holiday gatherings or complain about me to friends, coworkers, and the rest of the family? I can think of at least one company of performers who would say life is WAY too short to deny myself simple pleasures.

Pathetic as it is, I DO have a life. Sort of. I don’t want to be dead on my feet at work or when I’m supposed to be taking care of my niece, and I don’t have the time to spare for the matinee. Or maybe I do - I probably won’t know until it’s too late to get my ticket.

I have no idea how long this brain rot is going to last. It’s burning hot & bright right now, but it could burn itself out before I see the show in person. It seems unlikely, but there’s still a risk.

[penpaperandbooks]

Sketching Life

25/10/2023, 7:13 PM

Dear Diary,

The lights on the street just flickered on, quite late at seven in the evening, but I'm glad they did. A few days back they didn't at all. A lot happened this week, but I'm glad it did because... drumroll, please... I have my own place now! :))

Funded partly by my parents, of course, but I am going to pay them back, even if they won't hear anything of it. They're staying over for a few days but Renu has college starting soon so they're leaving quickly.

It is a bit daunting, you know? I mean, the only time I've 'lived alone' was... never, now that I think about it. To be responsible for myself, and make sure I am taken care of -- that's a tall order, no? haha

Putting aside all my fears and whatnot -- I always feel that, don't I? Every time I do something new? -- I'm excited to have my own little safe space, a place where I don't need to think of what to put up on my wall or get confirmation from all of them before buying something.

Just thinking of all the stuff I could do, oh, it's so exciting! The kitchen is so cute and gets a ton of sunlight, so I'm going to put some small plants up there, maybe some creepers, perhaps a peace lily, I've still not decided.

And the 'living room' -- it's just a small sectioning from the dining hall -- a painting from Renu, and to its side a tall bookshelf, with hooks for catching the fairy lights I'll put on it. I don't think I need a TV, but a projector screen would be enough.

And my room -- that's nothing big, a small desk just for storage (as if I use the desk), a bed (idk I'm still thinking about that) but get this -- the window is hugeee so I'm going to get some lightweight curtains, hang them on and make the windows the swinging open type, not the rolling ones.

makes for easy access, y'know?

25/10/2023, 8:42 PM

Dear Diary,

Sorry about that lapse in communication. I am convinced you are sending some kind of signal to her every time I write because she just called me, and I knew she was grinning because I could see her from my bedroom!

Oh gosh, look at me kicking my feet as I write this. She saw me too and we had a quiet little glance cuz Renu was in the room with me. I love them all very much but I just cannot wait until I can come home to her and her alone and not Ma or Pa going, "Hey, Urmila was waiting for you but you told me you were going to be late, so she left..."

I know, they're sooo sweet and caring, but for once I want to come home to Urmila on the couch, or opening the door for me, music playing in the background or a book laying upside down on the small table.

For once, I want to throw my bag on the floor and jump into her arms, soft lighting washing over us as we lay on the couch in silence, just taking in each other's warmth.

Sometimes I think Urmila would be better off with someone who can reciprocate her feelings with the same intensity that she gives me, but when I told her this the look she had made me realize--

wait, this is too embarrassing to write, god.

it made me realize, y'know, that she really does kinda, y'know... love me? idkkk its too late to be kicking my feet like this!

So, yeah, that is the sketch of my life, one with Urmila in it and warm lighting, winding across the various spines of books and a projector showing a movie, the noise of our own little home drowning out the questioning, doubting voices in my head.

--Sanju

[eddiediaaz]

i feel like typing some feels idk. ignore this lol it's probably not interesting at all. so last night i dreamed that i was going through/decluttering everything in my childhood bedroom. a few nights ago i also dreamt that i was redecorating that same childhood bedroom. this morning i woke up feeling really sad and nostalgic because it's something i never got to actually do.

when i was 17, in 2010 right after high school, i left that childhood house where i lived with my mom, younger sister, and (ex) step father. i moved in with my beloved grandparents for my first year of college. i don't remember the moving at all actually, only the last conversation i had with him the night before (where he said he loved me and would always think of me as his daughter and that i was welcome back anytime). all i remember is that i packed some things i wanted with me there (my grandparents live almost 2 hours away from my hometown). my mom and sister remained there for a few months until my mom was finally able to buy a house for us (we were living in his house since 1998).

my ex step father was/is (idek anymore) an alcoholic and he was very abusive, mostly verbally, and mostly towards me. mostly because i was (still am) fat. he bullied me my entire childhood because i was a fat kid. it was quite horrible at times, like stopping him from going to kill my dad with his hunting guns while barefoot outside in the rain at 13 years old. like him throwing an axe in my computer screen (a big fat one from the late 00s lol) because my teenage self didn't want to do the dishes right away (my sister and i handwashed the dishes every single day, he of course never did). like him putting my school book for homework in my bowl of ice cream (dessert that he bought!) and getting it all dirty and wet (i don't remember how i explained that at school yikes). stuff like that. he never got physical towards us at least. but it was always verbal abuse and mind games like that. i'm so glad my sister avoided a lot of that (she wasn't fat), but i know it must have been so difficult for her too to live in that household. and for my mom as well, who was working so hard for us. she was a victim too. she worked night and evening shifts for a bit, so there are a few things she didn't witness. things i will never tell her cause she already carries such heavy guilt about "putting us in that situation" (her words). i didn't know at the time, but now we've had some talks about it and i know she was severely depressed and on multiple meds. she had no money because my dad ruined her credit when they were still together. anyway that's a whole ass other story lol

so yeah when i was in my senior year i knew i had to think of an escape plan. when college applications time came around, i applied to a school near where my grandparents live and moved there. i had to, for my mental health. that was hands down one the best year of my life and i am so grateful to them. also grateful my mom was able to get me a cheap used car (a 2000 pontiac sunfire, iykyk) so i could be more independent as i reached adulthood. when my mom and sister moved to my mom's house, they packed some of my things, like a few plushies and some clothes, but that's about it. we were supposed to go back there and pack our other belongings. we were welcomed there. my ex step dad didn't hate us. he knew he made mistakes, he knew his disease (the alcoholism) was what drove us away. he wasn't a bad man when he was sober, but as time went on under his roof, he was only sober when he was working. i moved back in with my mom and sister after that first year away and we stayed there for 2 years until my sister and i moved in together for 3 years when i was in film school.

anyway yeah. i feel weird today. i am mourning all the toys and clothes and books and trinkets and memories i never got to keep because i left so fast and never went back like i was supposed to. even some vhs tapes of my sister and i as kids remained there when my mom left not long after me and it saddens me. we were always supposed to go back for our things because it ended "amicably" (in his mind, i guess), but we never had the nerves and courage to go back. i have regrets about that now, but at least that dream was a bit healing. and at least i had an "escape plan". many people don't so i'm glad i did.

i know there are much worse things in life than not having much physical things left from your childhood. i know that. people lose their homes all the time. but i'm still sad about it i guess. even if it's been close to 15 years.