#so i've been wondering about it since
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Something I've been asked a couple of times is "What is your first memory?" And personally I don't have an answer to that question. I have no idea what my first memory is, or even what that really means. So I'm curious
If you vote yes, I'm very curious to hear what your memory is, if you're comfortable with sharing it of course. And if you vote at all please reblog for a bigger sample size! Thank you! :)
#it's something i previously heard about only in fiction#and assumed it was made up#but then i got asked irl and the person was surprised when i didn't know#so i've been wondering about it since#poll#polls#memories
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the lovers, reversed
(aka I'm still freaking out about Jou)
#art#ride kamens#i am about to go off on wild speculation so excuse me in advance#I HAVEN'T PLAYED THE EVENT YET so this could all be just absolutely nothing but i gotta get it out#(still debating if i wanna save the event for after i finish part 2 or not...)#this is my last chance to throw wacky theories out there okay#i've just. been thinking a lot about the riders the characters are based on and how they relate to their different classes#like the choices seemed SO random when they were first revealed but they do mostly make sense when you think about it#to the point where i actually do feel like i should've been able to call ooo for ambition. damnit.#however i did always feel like jou was a bit of an outlier and now i'm wondering if that's gonna be like...a thing#idk man just the fact that he's gonna have a special double card and bond henshin with taiten is nuts to me#especially since we're clearly on the verge of SOMETHING happening with soun and uryuu#what does it mean. WHAT DOES IT MEAN#what does this mean for the future of tower emblem#and it hasn't escaped me that there is no class associated with evolution (YET)#and thinking about who jou is based on i'm just like#(waves hands) YOU KNOW?!#(plus i'm still like WHAT DOES THIS MEAN FOR RUI AND HAYATE but that's a separate thing)#i'm gonna try and take my time and not rush through part 2 but i also am SO impatient#i gotta knooooow#given the way my predictions tend to go though i'm either 100% accidentally right about the dumbest thing#or jou is fine but leon fucking dies or something and i'm gonna throw my phone into a lake#HAVE FUN GUYS I GUESS
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Almost
#zutara#atla#zuko#avatar the last airbender#katara#zutara fanart#Wip#First page of three is done!!!#Won't be sharing until I have the whole thing but I'm. So. Close!!!!!!!#It's been ages since I started this project omg#But it's worth it#Hopefully I'll get the chance to finish it tomorrow... Won't be making any promises tho#I've missed you guys and I can't wait to share this with you#Anyways I know it's ZK month (and all the content has been WONDERFUL so far) but I won't be participating. Sorry about that.#Working with prompts is such an amazing creative exercise but I know myself good enough to be certain that I'll never get past the first...#... prompt without coming up with seven different AUs and I can't deal with more of those right now lol#Like I've got this Blue Spirit! Katara and Painted Lady! Zuko AU on the works since last week or so. And more lore for the og BS/PL spirits#And also this S3 canon divergence AU... And another one... And another one...#And I need to work on them at my own rhythm otherwise I'll go nuts#So uh#Yeah#Love u all and I hope I'll get to share this one soon (if only to start on yet another comic. I've got ideas for two of them. Yay)#Dema out#(Sorry for the rambling I'm just anxious)#(Don't know why but I stopped caring a long time ago)
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boinga. boinga. boinga. boinga.
bonus heby weapon man:
#gopher art#tf2 medic#tf2 heavy#heavymedic#red oktoberfest#team fortress 2#he is watching. respectfully.#spice ish#just adding that tag to be safe#been a while since I've done 2d animation#and ive never 2d animated any mercs yet. so this is the first of that#ive been going down memory lane a lot today and I wonder what 17 yr old gopher would have thought about my art now#i think they'd be fuckin embarrassed (because people are looking at this) but envious (because I've improved since then)#sentimental shit aside: medic likes to flaunt his assets. we know this. burly beast exists for a reason. and its to flaunt the assets#gopher - 1 firealpaca - 0
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walking through lucanis' mind prison. the tam lin of it all
#his mind keeps changing forms and you just have to show him you won't let go of him#it doesn't even really matter what you say to him just that you're consistently there to say it. your voice is a comfort. im in pain#I'm having so many feelings about like... rook can't be here. because of all things in the world rook means 'safe'. what if I exploded#what if I just shattered into a thousand pieces and was swept away by the wind actually#'it's better that I stay here than risk losing you' is such pitch perfect trauma logic. freeze logic specifically#on some level he seems to think he keeps rook safe like. existentially. by staying here#it's heartbreaking child magical thinking that makes me wonder like. has he basically been in a place like this inside#ever since his parents died? before that? the ossuary is just new set dressing the underlying logic is OLD. and very very sad to me#'I keep everyone safe by staying here'#(and then the perfect hilarity of having an actual demon be like 'ROOK. YOU TALK TO HIM HE NEVER LISTENS TO ME'#tfw your inner demon gets worried enough to stage an intervention and get you therapy whether you want it or not lmao)#dragon age#dragon age spoilers#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age: the veilguard#rook x lucanis#lucanis dellamorte#rookanis#rye staying mostly in gentle professional mode for this one b/c this is literally his training#('I may not be batting a hundred at being a person but I DO know how to deal with fade shenanigans! not to worry I've got you')#except in that last part with the illario mind ghost where he roundaboutly admits 'I need you I don't know how to do this without you'#in rye speak that is very big it's like. third base of his soul or something. we do not ask for things for ourselves in this house#(because we already know we will not receive anyway so that sounds both humiliating and ultimately pointless. no thank you!)#and yet. the things we'll admit for love#the feeling that some of the things varric did for rye immediately post-exile rye is paying forward with lucanis now. don't look at me
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Bts of the boy EP visuals via lamajamakeup
#those lost ladygunn party pics reminded me I was literally seconds from posting these unseens back in August when 5sos posted a studio vid#and thus this got frantically stuck in the drafts and completely forgotten about 😂😭#the original post has since been deleted so I've just linked the account from which they originated 🤓#luke hemmings#boy ep#5sos#5 seconds of summer#instagram#other ig#andrea vargas 2024#kh4f post#i wonder what i was about to tag this with lmao#all i had so far was 'i cannot express to you '#what was i unable to express 👀#and now i never will 🥺#anyways these pics (and this man) are ridiculously pretty#i welcome any and all unseens of the trenchcoat fit tbqh#also i just looked at my drafts for the first time in idk how long and there is crazy stuff in there that i really need to work on freeing
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super disorganized sketch page because i do what i want
#my art#not sure if i wanna tag these... hrm#i wonder if alt text shows up in search results.... shudders#well anyway. i wanna ramble about these!!#for willy mafton: i've been working on designing more of the human cast. mainly all the big name important ones#it's been a slow process + a little challenging but i like getting the chance to practice drawing faces! :]#in regards to His design specifically.. it's very much based off of his movie apperance#but with a reference to that Classic sprite thrown in#bc i thought making him a little cartoony and inhuman would fit him :] but idk im not an expert on his character or anything#about the rabbit lady: i forgot how i had that idea initially but it ended up looking so fucking cool tbh#im always a fan of making her design less of a feminine eye candy type of design and more of a Spooky Murderer type >:3c#it also gave me the idea to try making some similar designs for the glams...#but if i do that im not gonna be giving them that vintage rubber mask look... since they're meant to be super flashy and high tech looking#so i was thinking they could have faces with more of a silicone texture.. and that have a style based more off of their in game art work :]#so they'd be like giant dolls with weird moving faces rather than having a vintage animatronic look#also that van in the bottom middle is 100% a homage to a specific user i wont be mentioning but iykyk HFJZJFJF#ANYWAY the 🌞🌜 stuff: dont be weird about it please HFJZJG#im aware that these tags are very easy to ignore but like. genuinely pls dont be weird about them#dont romanticize it. its not meant to be ''y/ndere'' or anything like that#its actually a bit personal to me so like... interpret it as you like but be aware its not meant to be a happy or positive thing#anyway i think thats all i have to say... i've been trying to branch out a tiny bit regarding the things i draw#it's always nice to challenge yourself even if its tough... especially if its tough!!#i mainly draw just for my own sake but i hope ppl see something they like here#these tags got so fucking long oops... i'll stop now JFKZJFKSJGKSJG
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Ben coming back to the cabin to see yet another cannibalistic ritual
#🐇#yellowjackets#again with the cannibalistic blue balls I see how you guys are playing the game at least I know it's gonna happen#poor javi it should have been travis let's be real he provides nothing#loved the misty on mari violence also#and we were all right about jackie's necklace! our girl's keeping the group together even still#also I know I'm literally the only one on the jackie antler queen train and while I don't think it's true rather than just funsies#it's making me wonder if this is more of a fae situation going on? it's been a looooooong time since I read about all of this stuff but now#after jackie's death and the baby's death and what happened to Ben this week it's kinda making me suspicious#like is the antler queen supposed to represent the unseelie queen? is it the unseelie queen? idk I'll have to look into this to see if it#fits. I'm leaning more towards that now than wendigo psychosis#also hilarious because I did say that portals was insanely jackie coded so we're coming full circle#also I've said I'm suspicious of walter but how the fuck is that dude so rich?? I'm onto his ass he is not to be trusted
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listen hear me out—
what if eow takes place after the original loz?
#I've been rotating this in my head since I finished the game#and while yes there isn't one correct option and I can honestly see it fitting in a few different places#think about it#eow's hyrule kingdom feels quite small and intimate#almost as if it's just taking shape#maybe after rebuilding?#and the original LoZ is quite apocalyptic but they do start rebuiling in AoL#so it'd makes sense that it'd keep on rebuilding after that#and it makes sense to me that it'd be after oot bc of volvagia#bc that's an ECHO of volvagia#and that couldn't exist before volvagia himself existed right?#same with Downfall Timeline Ganon™️#(wonder whatever happened to that guy)#anyways idk if I'm making sense but do you guys see my vision????#I'd love to hear other people's thoughts on this btw. like whether you agree or if you have different thoughts I'd love to hear them bc I#I think this is all really interesting 🥺#just be kind if someone doesn't have the same opinion you do thank you 🫶#echoes of wisdom#eow spoilers#kinda?#nothing that's not in the trailer really but better safe than sorry#legend of zelda
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I run beneath the winter's icy skies while taking care to note the lovely scene so often it becomes a common sight and has no more enchantment for my eyes. Wrapped up within the veils of dull routine, to heaven's joy's I've given up the right. Yet when it seems my inattention bars my eyes from noting miracles unseen I stop to take a glimpse into the night and lose my breath to find the stars So bright
#fictionadventurer poetry#poetry#starfall#oh look another poem about winter stars#what a surprise#well look#i was outside last night#rushing inside because it was stupid cold#had been thinking about how taking note of the night sky to fight the dismalness means that it doesn't really hit the same anymore#but frankly at that moment i wasn't thinking about it at all#and then i happened to look up and it was like i'd been hit by a freight train#so bright#the stars looked about four times larger than usual#close enough to touch#it absolutely stopped my heart#and i had no right to it#absolutely no right#to be given such beauty when i'd let myself be numbed by mundane concerns#it needed a poem#i've wanted to write a curtal sonnet#and it turned out that ending spondee seemed the only way to capture that heart-stopping instant of being crushed by wonder#(wikipedia claims that since hopkins no one has used the form seriously)#(usually it's in poems explicating the form)#(this is inaccurate because 'the seventh raven' has an entire pov in curtal sonnets)#(but the form still deserves more serious consideration)#anyway here you go i've done my due diligence as a hopkins fan
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@keferon OKAY BUT LISTEN YEAH I would loved if it was just fun ehehehe and sassy flirting with the demon no one sees pfffht, literally summoned a demon just to flirt with, and I guess it could have been going for a long time, just little strips with their funny adventures and then plot can go to the fact that he wants to give him a body and Shockwave would agree or that they just stay the way they are and just hang out like this together (Alo I remember that you wanted to put Ratchet (I keep writing Ratched instead of Ratchet buuuh) and Drift in it as another demon and their summoner thing whghweghgwe but I like how you made two separate stories for them that happen at the same time, okay I am actually PRETTY MUCH invested in this story, I like a lot how it goes and gets tangled and how mixes up with idw ideas and other stuff a lot)
BUT NOW that you changed it that way, you made a few more things that reader might be interested a lot in, like that promise he made and you mentioning that he will regret it, how their relationship progressively develops, plus the fact that Blurr was a frivolous slob gifted with dark magic AND how the tables turn upside dow and he get consequences for what he did in the most unpredictable way for him and how he surely changes in his behaviour, getting more and more concerned about his promise and maybe truly loving someone for the first time in his life and wanting to change something. And then figuring out that that same demon actually was a person before, someone he knew, someone respectable, kind, shiny, absolut sun of a person, who died (I am still on my knees waiting to know how exactly he died...) miserably to the point that he absolutely can't stand his life as a demon and NOT EVEN being able to kill himself!!! And Blurr was a pupil in his school, he saw him, he gifted him an ability to make his magic work for him, gave the freedom to live among everyone to all who was poisoned with this dark magic. OH WAITA HGSDHAG the thing that beastformers can't walk among transformers and the fact that dark spellers also could not, and how these events happen at a close times, OKAY so dark spellers got their kind of freedom thanks to Senator Shockwave (OH MY GOD what if Orion can see Shockwave and will recognise him right away COUGH) BUT I am wondering if beastformers will get some kind of an official declaration or some kind of school to be educated in and I wonder if Deadlock/Drift (I think after leaving he will change his name from the last episode...) will volunteer to be a teacher t be something more, or he will just end up with Ratchet wandering around the world, or maybe there will be a whole damn revolution where all monoformers and beastformers leaded by Drift go against the system, and maybe these events happen at the same time as a Senator Shockwave fighting for the rights of gifted... Okay I'm getting carried a little bit ahsghag excuse me... OH I GOT carried away A LOT I wanted to get back to the point that Blurr, now figuring out the past of Shocwave, dealing with all the events, dealing with what he has done and find a way to free them, at the same time STILL having adventures and fun since I'm sure he can be a good mood lifter to moody Shockwave and even see him in a really good mood since he is... well, not just a demon made of hatred but the wonderful kind of person in his previous life... (okay being carried away but what if Orion might declare the freedom to beastformers (AJHGAJHSDJAH OH MY GOD I IMAGINED JAZZ AS A PANDA HAVING A ROMAN WITH PROWL AND PROWL NOT KNOWING ABOUT IT OKAY SORRY) after seeing what it lead to after Senator Shockwave. And maybe Ratchet will be able to get his sign back freely after revolution will be successful or he will be forever blind just to be free and safe with his husband OKAY LISTEN I think it is obvious that I really like the thing you do....
#I mean I will repeat one hundred more time that fanfics are really hard for me to read... I just can't concentrate on that for a long time#if they are not VERY good.. usually it is much easier for me to read real books#So I know little about characters slowly reading idw and I can't just jump on plenty of fics and just look at them from afar#But such little comic... yeah#the characters in them are understandable for me you put emotion in them and growth that I can easily read on and just observing things#also it is much easier for me to see a ready pictures to jump on something to animate and it goes so smoothly that I still wonder how you d#it and I am absolutely not okay about this fact pfffht#Aaaaah why am I saying all that... where from I started and where I was leading to...#I THINK I JUST WILL SAY AGAIN THAT I LIKE THIS AU WHEEEEEEEZE#Also rewatched your tags under First Aid and... I forgot the name *cough* you can see how good I am with names VORTEZ! Fixed ehfghasghagfe#And yeah ahsghdgahg... I can't read such fics. I like when I see that characters can stand for themselves and it isn't an abuse....#I mean it is okay to show the hell they go through BUT only if from both sides#I didn't read ShockBlurr fics but from what I've been hearing from you both... I wouldn't like it#So I'm happy I come across your version of them and I LIKE IT#And I LIKE the First Aid pair with Vortex if I see a good version of them#I mean in idw he is *muah* put him in a blender but I don't see a good way of using his perks and First Aid's perks good together#They both are maniacs PFFFFHT so yeah... fics disappoint me and I barely read them even if to get better at understanding characters#So I'm happy about what you do since I am very slow at getting into stories like transformers even if I like it
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hello gemcyt fellas how we doing. just.... slipping my scar design right here......
#gemcyt#hermitblr#trafficblr#gtws#gtwscar#goodtimeswithscar#I AM SO PROUD OF THIS#glad to finally give him colors... he's been on my sketchbook since january#you have no idea how many times i've drawn this little fella. in different fits even!#obsessed#hopefully i'll get to my other designs soon (the fits. one other gem... and FUSION)#my art#i spent like 8 hours on this. just take it.#YES sl references AND hotguy references what about it#oh. and there's a reason for his gem being on the nape of his neck. wonder if anyone can figure it out
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I’m a trans man that recently got diagnosed with hyper mobile eds, so now seeing Steve makes me extra happy, because cool disabled ftm rep. Thanks for making the radical dude bro, he’s funky.
same disability (waving hand emoji)
Always extremely fulfilling to know my work makes people happy in some small way, it means a lot. Thank you for sharing with me
#I dont talk about having eds cause its not specifically really relevant to my work#been diagnosed with it since 17. woag 10 years next april...#anyways. yeah idk I like the blog to be about my art and I'm used to people asking me a LOT of questions about EDS or disability or canes#just a lot of stuff unrelated to my art. I'm happy to talk about it but I don't want it to be the focus of my blog!#So I've p much chosen to mostly just. not talk about it. even though I'm literally fine talking about it#it's just rarely relevant and no one needs to know LOL#but. I also know that EDS can feel very lonely#and that it's really nice to know other people out there have it#so. hi anon you're not alone#also just in case. literally don't feel bad about anything in the tags here LOL#mostly just like 'please people do not start sending me asks about whether or not you should go to the doctor'#or asks about ableist family members#or venting about pain...#just a lot of invasive and boundary crossing asks the more I talk about it hahahah#but I don't mind sharing at all.#sorry I think I lost the plot on this one#good luck on your journey. starting to accomodate yourself does wonders#and really just extremely happy my work could reach you in this way#sending you love#asks#anon
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To those of you wondering (aka no one), I finished both The Vampire Armand and Merrick and I have a lot of thoughts and feels. I'm skipping Blood and Gold for now to go directly to Blackwood Farm (I'll read B&G later), but first I'm going to read something else, just to take a break.
TVA thoughts: man, Armand is messed up. And extremely compelling. But so messed up. As always, the theme of faith crisis, which seriously reaches new heights with these bitchy vampires, is not something I can fully immerse myself in, but it was fascinating to see his numerous metamorphosis. I liked how he bridges Western and Eastern Christianisme, especially through art. Now I'm thinking that if Rolin Jones makes him originally Muslim in the show, that could expand even more the conversation on how faith, and especially Abrahamic faith, has been in conversation for thousands of years and could be such a rich, diverse and spiritual, intellectual and artistic theme. I can already imagine some fascinating discussions comparing (not in a superior way but in a complementary way) coming from Muslim faith to Roman Catholic faith, the way book!Armand talks about the richness of his life in Kiev Rus despite the poverty and ascetism, and the richness of his life in Venecia despite the luxury and abundance.
As for Benamin and Sybille... I don't have much thoughts about them. Sybille is one of those female characters AR seemingly favors, not so much human as a nymph or a dryad, "perfectly splendid". And Benji is a caricature of an Arab child. Nuance? 401 not found.
Merrick thoughts: David for the love if everything, shut. The. Fuck. Up. Holy moly. I like David, I do, but damn the entire recollection of his history with Merrick was looooooong. I'm here to see Louis haunted by Claudia and haunting Lestat's coma, not how hard you're pining for the kid you practically raised! Also. ALSO. You're just going to leave that whole thing with the Olmec or possibly another more ancient Mesoamerican civilisation without ever giving us more? That was the most interesting part of it all! The vodoo history, the connection between Louisiana and Caribbean vodoo and old Native South-American religions! More about this, less about Merrick's perfect breasts, I am begging you. (It is at this point that the reader of this post realises OP is 100% definitely ace and more interested in books and witchcraft than breasts and whether a 70yo man can still get it up - also, hey, Anne Rice's vampires are practically asexual and their lust and pleasure is mostly derivated from blood, with some notable exceptions like Armand and Marius, and a love relationship between two vampires is then based on romantic love and blood sharing, so can I hear a hell yeah for some ace representation or are we still conflating eroticism with sex)
Another thing I kept thinking about throughout the book is how Louis is perceived by his fellow vampires. Since basically the second book, since we've lost his own POV, everybody who's ever said anything about him (so Lestat, Armand and David) have insisted on two points: how very weak and meek Louis is, and also how irresistible, beautiful and charming. Granted, I've known Louis first through his portrayal on the show (hi Jacob you're so fiiiiiiine), and then through his own narration in the first book, but I've never had the impression that he was weak. Beautiful and seductive, yes. Weak? I see a human man going through tragedies and still enduring, going through vampiric transformation and then suffering for decades the loss of his humanity, struggling with reconciliating both sides of himself, but mostly I see a vampire who rebuilt himself after losing everything without sacrificing his sense of self. I see Louis as very strong actually (up to the point where resilience breaks, because resilience cannot be sustained on a long term, but that's another debate). He knows who he is, and don't you know how hard that is? He doesn't cling to faith or pride. He knows he's doomed, he knows he's monstrous, he knows there's nothing he can do to change that, and instead of railing against his fate, he goes on about his undead life. He gets his books and he reads them, he surrounds himself with literature and what little comforts he thinks in his shattered self-esteem he deserves (his ragged sweaters and soft trousers); let's not lie to ourselves tho, Louis doesn't like himself, or more exactly he doesn't care about his corporeal body - what matters to him is his mind, and once again, this author is extremely ace and also very aro and very nonbinary, so Louis to me is very much ace and agender coded, though really not aro, because his love for Lestat (and sometimes his fondness, shall we say, for Armand) is the only thing that can rouse him up from his literary slumber.
...
Oh, man, I have a lot to say about Louis, for how little he appears in the books so far. Still have BF, BC and the PL trilogy to devour. So I guess you can say, for as much as Lestat is occupying my entire brain, very much like him, my favorite is Louis? Yeah, that tracks. Melancholy, quiet, dark-haired green-eyed monster with more humanity than humans, preferring his solitude and the company of books to anyone else, hopelessly and helplessly devoted to one person, expert in brooding and grieving, literature specialist, not very attached to his physical self. Yeah. I'm not surprised.
#rapha talks#rapha reads#anne rice#the vampire chronicles#the vampire armand#merrick#vc books#armand de romanus#david talbot#louis de pointe du lac#lestat de lioncourt#books#literature#book review#wow that got long#wasn't expecting to write that much i just wanted to write a couple of lines about each book so i could move on to the next#but apparently i have a lot to say about louis in particular#i mean - vampires have been making me extremely verbose since i was 12#so no wonder *the* vampire books of the last half-century are making me go insane#anyway - i'm going to read a couple of fanfics i've noticed maybe finish watching the bear s3 clear my mind a bit#and then i'll dive right back in with blackwood farm#by the way i totally encourage fic recs and also discussions of my thoughts (how flawed and incomplete my perceptions of these characters?)#(obviously over 40 years of existence and adoration of these books so much has been said and written and i would love to discuss it with#people who have read and studied and loved these books in much more depth than i)
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#I know this is gonna come across as a bit pathetic#but I was already feeling a bit untethered today#wondering if I actually have a purpose here#ever since I came back to tumblr after my 4 month break I've felt very alone here#it feels a bit like everyone moved on without me#and I dunno i guess I hoped I'd be able to dive right back in again and just start engaging and enjoying it#but honestly I have been plagued with anxiety and intrusive thoughts about not being wanted#and the last thing I needed was some asshole anon#I'm already wondering if people are finding my event annoying#like maybe i should just shut up and quit#but I really fucking like doing this stuff I just wish I didn't feel so isolated#I'm being stupid i know#you should never trust how you feel about yourself after 9pm#but bleurgh its a horrible feeling#shut up saz
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webcomic-era/current masumii redesign (she also just needed to be slightly simplified lol)
i was going to draw takoshi next to her but i'm tired and redrew his face like 20 times bc it wasn't looking right so. i'll draw him tomorrow-
#yet again ignoring my 3 serious wips bc i wanted to draw something else lol#it's ok theyre actually are happy and thriving here unlike the backstory versions#so i can draw them. as a treat :]#also these are technically the main versions of them cjhbvcjv#i've just been thinking about their backstory(s)/past since uh. june. so for 6 months straight#i am so obsessed! :]#shook wips#oc shiz#masumii (oc)#also if you're wondering why her shirt sleeves are a different color than the shirt collar#it's because she has two shirts on; the black one completely covers her neck (it's blocked by her hair here) and is long sleeved#and the white one is a sleeveless button-up#it's funny bc the original version of the design had this too but at that point i hadn't really established that she didn't like to have he#neck showing so. it kinda just worked out lmao#anyways im probabaly gonna sleep now lol
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