#so i'm going to grit my teeth through whatever scenes we have to suffer through with her for the rest of the show

[whatwooshkai]

20 please!!

The weight of the world seems to have settled on the other rescue bot's shoulders.

Something's bothering Heatwave, it's been bothering him every since all four of them met, and now it's bothering everyone, especially Chase. After the Incident, the police bot can't seem to get his mind off whatever it is Heatwave's got eating at him.

And Blades. He's always had this kind of heaviness, but after the Incident, he's just gotten heavier. He's got this far away look in his optics, like he's watching bots that aren't them, and always reliving memories instead of staying in the present moment.

In short, it's depressing. They have their moments, yeah, but the vibe around here is so bad even the humans have started to pick up on it.

What the rescue bots need, Boulder decides, is an intervention.

So they whip up several of everyone's favorite flavor of high grade and gets them all blackout drunk.

Boulder had graciously decided to stay sober to keep an optic on everyone, and that is proving to be a better and better decision by the moment as this is not going well in the slightest.

Well, it's not going badly. This is pretty much the usual for a night like this, actually. But the Burns are reacting badly.

They'd started out playing poker, and now Boulder isn't even sure what the game is, just that they, Chase and Heatwave are absolutely losing.

"Boulder," the Chief hisses through gritted teeth, "it is midnight. What is going on?"

"'M GOIN' ALL IN!" Chase slurs, shoving his meager pile of chips forward. One of his arms is wrapped tight around Heatwave, who started uncontrollably sobbing two bottles in and hasn't stopped since.

Blades has almost every single chip in their set, stacked in high, neat piles that cover a large swatch of table in front of him. He gives Chase an unimpressed glare, then pushes one of the smaller piles forward.

Boulder's basically done playing anyways, so they push their chips towards Chase, who absorbs them into his pile without hesitation.

Blades rolls his optics exaggeratedly. "Don't extend their suffering."

Ignoring him, Boulder leans down to the Chief. "I thought it might help them relax," they admit, tapping his hands against their thighs. "We used to do it in the academy."

The Chief raises an eyebrow. "Is it helping?"

"Tomorrow will tell," Boulder says, patting their thighs again. "Now I'm not so sure."

"What, Heatwave usually doesn't cry this much?"

"No, that's uh, pretty par for the course, actually." Boulder chews on their lip. "They're just not talking like I thought they would."

Both Boulder and the Chief look to the other Burns kids, still on the lift, watching the scene with a mix of abject horror and fascination.

"What, lots of deep and in depth conversations going on usually?" Kade pipes up. "'Oh, guys,'" he poorly imitates Heatwave, "'even though I'm a total jackass and insufferable to be around, I love you guys, I really do-"

"Not so much like that," Boulder mutters, tuning him out. "It's less of a tangible thing, for lack of a better work. Field talk, kind of. Everything's so muddled right now it's like they're speaking in a different- oh."

Boulder blinks as realization hits them. Of course they can't understand any of the talking that's happening, they're not drunk.

Reaching for a bottle, some of the tension leaves their frame. "I'm just not drunk enough to listen," they hum, about to throw it back, when the Chief places his hands on their calf.

"Stay sober, please?" he asks. "I'd rather at least one of my rescue bots not be inebriated if something happens."

An uncharacteristic beat of anger flashes through Boulder, and it's enough to cause the other three to look over in surprise. Your rescue bots? they want to demand. They're my rescue bots, as I am theirs. These are things I may never hear if I don't hear them now. I can't stay in the dark forever. If they need me I need to be able to know what to do-

They put down the bottle. "You're right," Boulder says, offering a smile that doesn't quite reach their optics. "Someone has to be responsible here."

--------------

Even that night, with the other three pressed so close Boulder can feel their fields in their frame, Boulder can't understand it.

--------------

The next morning, Blades is looking at Heatwave strangely, and Chase is brimming with frustration. And Boulder doesn't understand.

Somehow, they think they've made it all worse.

[lovecolibri]

I have a suspicion/fear the show is going to try and push the idea that m*ria is the "hero" and she is "instrumental" and "important" in getting Malex back together because she "sacrificed her own happiness" and broke it off with Michael for Alex’s sake, and Alex and Michael will both have to thank her for helping them get together, and maybe stay away for awhile to protect her “delicate” feelings.

So, in case people forget, I have some reminders about the kind of “friend” m*ria is, which is going under the cut because this is more salty than I usually get so, enter at your own risk and all that.

First, before we get into the Michael and Alex of it all, we are told m*ria loved Rosa like family and went to her grave all the time, but when Rosa came back from the dead m*ria was...nowhere to be found. And I get her being pissed at Liz and the Pod Squad and wanting nothing to do with them. But none of that should have kept her from visiting with Rosa who is back from the dead after a decade. If she was truly a “good friend” and Rosa was truly “her family too” she could have made it work while still making her feelings clear to Liz. Now, on the the Michael and Alex portion of the salt show!

m*ria only broke it off with Michael after SHE decided for him that someone else could "make Michael happier". And this only came up after Michael spent a lot of time and effort, but never quite performed "boyfriend" correctly enough for her. She knew that Alex felt hopeful about Michael, but she never considered for a moment that maybe Alex could make Michael happier than her, until she decided that Michael didn't make HER happy. She is the one with the "psychic" senses which makes it all worse because she could sense how both of them felt but ignored it because she wanted a toy that she had never been interested in before, until she learned it might be someone else's. And only after she played with it and found it lacking did she decide she didn't want it anymore. She didn't “sacrifice her happiness” and "let Michael go" because she thought someone else could make him "happier". She dumped him because he was difficult, and challenged her, and she didn't want to deal with it anymore.

Part of the issue too, is that they wanted to have m*luca be the fun, funny, banter couple but that doesn't work when one character is fresh from horrific trauma and has a deep history of abandonment and abuse that the other character either refuses to acknowledge, or puts the blame on the first character by making snide comments about their history or the way the smell. (The choice to have her comment about the way Michael smells will never not send me into a rage. Like yes, let’s pick on the guy who was a homeless teen without consistent access to a shower, and now does outdoor manual labor. Way to endear m*ria as a character right off the bat ���)

The Malex banter works not only because Tyler and Vlamis are actually friends and have great chemistry, but also because Alex and Michael know each other. They understand (at least in part) what the other has suffered. And even then, their banter doesn't always land because they haven't figured out the right way to navigate their pain and trauma responses with each other- they haven't been in the same place long enough to. But their banter come from a place of love and understanding, where as with m*ria it always seemed to come from a place of superiority. 

Because every time m*ria mentions anything about Michael it's usually with an air of vague disgust and, when it comes to her “feelings” for him, shame. She never gives any indication that she even LIKES him as a person and not just a sex object/someone to boss around and prop her up. She calls him names (Uuuuugh, he’s such a “Chad” says the woman who is literally a psychic and should be able to pick up on Michael’s screaming internal pain from losing his mother and his brother Max, and Noah, the man he thought of as a brother and trusted to look after his sister), and refuses to entertain the idea that he may have valid reasons for making the choices he does, and goes crying to Alex until he does the heavy lifting for her. She never looks softly at him, she’s always looking down at him or looking calculating. 

So whyyyy did she even go after him? Why, if not to just prove that she could? Why, if not to prop herself up because Michael is an absolute mess inside (which, as mentioned above, her psychic senses would have told her), and willing to bend over backwards for any scrap of attention? Like, I am genuinely confused about why she was so hell bent on throwing herself at Michael in 2x01 when he was so clearly going through something and she’s had nothing but disdain for his behavior and previously made him promise he wouldn’t tell anyone that they slept together, but now she’s patting the seat next to her as he stumbles drunkenly into a funeral? While she’s sitting right near Alex? You know, the man she promised that nothing would happen again with Michael now that she knew HE was Alex’s museum guy that Alex was feeling hopeful about? 

And then her whole thing about not saying they are together, but making Michael promise not to kiss anyone else?? It just give me big “you don’t dump me, I dump you!” vibes. Like she could not handle scruffy, town drunk, “sex in a truck, smells like a river, never introduce him to your mamma” Michael Guerin NOT falling all over himself for her, so she pushed and pushed until she got what she wanted and once she had him, she could not care less about him as an actual person.

Also, let’s not forget she spent the season flaunting her pursuit of Michael and their relationship together in Alex's face, and went so far as to make Alex not only watch Michael have sex with her, but be a participant in her and the love of his life having sex (even if Alex didn’t physically have p/v sex with her, or they never touched each other’s bits, he was still involved). And she did it as a way to prove that Michael would pick her over Alex. She is a woman Alex has no sexual feelings for, which she knows, and they have known each other since childhood and are basically family. There is no reason she should want to have Alex around when she is having sex, or want to be around him having sex. You know, like how Isobel recoils when hearing about Michael or Max’s sex life, or the way Max does not want to hear about Isobel or Michael’s sex lives? Despite having no idea if they are actually related or not? Or the way Michael makes jokes about their sex lives or his own as a false sense of oversharing so they don’t probe or notice that he’s hiding something by not actually telling them anything about Alex, the love of his life? There isn’t really a way to read that scene except as a manipulation by m*ria to get something she had no right to (Alex), and to take what Alex wanted, just because she could.

And I am going to stick this here since I’m already talking about 2x06 and this will save me from making a separate post. It wasn't about the story or the character's journeys, it was written so carina could tick off  checkboxes like one for a "love triangle" but spicy because the dude in the middle is bi, a checkbox for "homage" to the OG show, but in a way that honored nothing about the OG story or characters, a checkbox for “threesome on national tv where the woman was the one in control”, but with no regard to the character's backstories (”every time I touched a woman I was trying to disappear” anyone?), or trauma histories. 

There’s a reason the post 2x06 interview wasn’t with Tyler or even Vlaims. Because that scene wasn’t about Alex and it wasn’t about Michael, it was about giving the female character the control in a sexy situation for “feminist” reasons and so c*rina could get a threesome on tv for woke points. It didn’t matter to her that Alex is gay, or injured, or that he and Michael are both deeply traumatized and their trauma responses involve them not standing up for themselves when they are uncomfortable or think they might upset someone. It didn’t matter. because it wasn’t about them at all. It was about m*ria getting to call the shots and be in control. But you can’t be applauded for giving one character agency if you take that agency from others. In framing m*ria as initiating the threesome to give her the agency, took it away from Alex, and from Michael. You also have the issue with m*ria being given the agency in breaking up with Michael and having Michael argue against it, because he can’t really chose Alex over m*ria if she isn’t a choice. And you also have Michael taking back that agency and deciding he isn’t ready to start things with Alex, but by having them not talk to each other about it, it takes away Alex’s chance to make a real choice to go after Forrest, since again, he can’t really chose if he doesn’t know Michael is an option.

And finally, if you think after Alex was the one reminding Liz to be a better friend to m*ria, hung out with Mimi, helped put up fliers and went on long drive to follow up some random lead on Mimi being missing even though m*ria was currently screwing the love of his life with zero remorse or apology and kept dragging him into it to flaunt it in his face, and then got stabbed for all his trouble and manipulated while injured and unable to leave into a questionable sexual situation, while the only “support” m*ria has provided is to tell Alex home can be a person before preceding to date said person in front of Alex, knowing he’s still in love with Michael, that ALEX is the one that needs to be a better friend to HER? That there is any scenario where he needs to step up and be better for her?! Then I don't know what to tell you.

[ruiyuki]

"Vanitas": The Name and Legacy

Vanitas declares early on that his motive for using the Book of Vanitas to save vampires of the Red Moon is to take "revenge against the Vampire of the Blue Moon". But some of his actions, reactions and expressions seem to contradict a conventional interpretation of "revenge". Seeing how MochiJun is a master of conveying things through facial expressions, nondescript panels, and double meanings, here's my stab at trying to figure out a bit of Vanitas' complexity and his (??hidden??) motives.

⚠️⚠️⚠️ MANGA SPOILERS, obv ⚠️⚠️⚠️

Also this analysis is really long. ‼Continuation in reblogs.‼

For the sake of minimizing confusion I'm going to refer to our!Vanitas as "Vani", Vampire of the Blue Moon (VotBM) as "Luna", and the name "Vanitas"/"Vanitas of the Blue Moon" as a title in this analysis.

0. "Revenge" against the VotBM

Now, what kicked me into this train of thought initially was watching the scene where Vani announces his revenge plot to all during the Bal Masque. Ofc Bones is doing quite a good job with the anime (I can honestly forgive them for leaving out some scenes knowing budget constraints and that this was probably produced during COVID; it's just more reason to get viewers to read the manga) but there are still some subtle nuances that MochiJun puts in her work that don't get translated into the adaptation. So I revisited Memoire 7 and something just didn't sit right upon looking at that scene retrospectively – which I'll get to that in a bit – but first let me recap what is my interpretation of Vani's proclamation:

The origin story we were told at the start of the series illustrates that vampires are typically born under the Red Moon, except for the one born under the Blue Moon. VotBM, given the moniker "Vanitas of the Blue Moon" by others at the time, is said to have created the Book of Vanitas capable of manipulating the World Formulas in order to curse all the RM vampires that casted them out of vampire society. Cursing the RM vampires = turning them into curse-bearers inflicted with malnomen.

Vani's "revenge" against the VotBM is to use their name "Vanitas" and the Book to cure all RM vampires of their curses and malnomen. In that sense, Vani saving the vampires is directly opposing the vow to curse all RM vampires as told in the VotBM origin story.

Vani's revenge claim seems pretty straight forward. There is nothing of the sort as to claiming he will turn the vampires into humans, or rewrite their existence into something they are not, etc. It is literally just "I will heal you from your sickness out of spite towards the thing that wants you to suffer". His feral revenge proclamation on top of the chandelier lines up with his feral "I will save you no matter what, using whatever method I choose" at the end of Memoire 1 as Noé points out:

So here's the thing that felt a little out of place upon my rereading of Memoire 7:

This panel. Idk about you but as a long time reader of Pandora Hearts, imo one thing that makes MochiJun such a talented artist and great storyteller of plot twists and angst is how she depicts emotions in facial expressions – it is very subtle with a certain finesse. With the above panel, Vani's expression doesn't necessarily look like "anger" or "vengeance" to me. Rather (and it took me a while to place it actually, flipping back and forth between newer and older chapters) his expression looks... melancholic? Melancholy with sense of conviction.

It's noteworthy that MochiJun has made an intentional choice to emphasize Vani gripping his closed fist and his distant stare here, so it has to be important. So, what could Vani be thinking of in this moment? And why?

I. Vani's hidden expressions and feelings towards Luna

To (attempt to) figure out what might be going through Vani's mind in this moment, let's take a look at some moments we've seen Vani making different expressions and when he's thinking back to the VotBM – or really, his time with Luna. Vani claims he hates vampires, but there are obvious exceptions (Jeanne, Noé). What's interesting though is that, despite claiming to hate the VotBM, I don't think he hates Luna. He may hate the being that Luna is but I don't think he hates Luna as a person.

We can see the difference between his hatred and active desire to kill Moreau, as well as his completely blank, no-remorse kinda expression toward the Chasseur's cross in the Catacombes arc vs the above panel after his revenge proclamation:

Also contrast the above chandelier expression to Vani's empty look of distain in Dante's flashback when they first meet:

I would say none of these Vani expressions look very similar to the chandelier one — the empty or blank stares are missing a sense of resolve and the teeth-gritting smirk lacks any bit of sadness felt in the scene. Now, when do we ever see Vani make another expression of what I would call melancholy?

Ughghgh these panels break my heart every time bc there is such a sense of sadness, it's distant but palpable and it is t r a g i c... but I digress.

We have no way of knowing what Vani is thinking in these panels but I have a few ideas:

Vani thinks back to something Luna said about how one should use the Book of Vanitas when Noé says using the Book's power to cure curse-bearers is "overwhelmingly right". What Luna said? Who knows, but it may be along the same lines of "despite its power" and "doing the right thing".

Vani realizes the reason Misha wants Noé to drink his blood is bc Misha doesn't remember what happened That Day. He repeats "... I see." twice as if he's reaffirming to himself that he's the only one left that remembers what happened. If Misha did remember, there would be another person to share the memory but Misha doesn't and Vani is alone in the world in that sense.

If we are to assume that this is what's going through Vani's mind in these moments, then we have to ask why? Vani thinking back to his time with Misha and Luna elicits this sadness (possibly likely?) bc Vani did truly enjoy his time with them and didn't actually hate Luna. In his own flashbacks of Luna teaching he and Misha about malnomen (first being Malnomen Prèdateur in the Catacombes arc, second of Chloé's Malnomen Millie) and the flashback of "love" during the Gevaudan Arc, we see that Vani may be grumpy or indifferent while being with Luna, but he is still attentively listening and comfortable enough around them for them to hug him:

Ofc, we can't forget that Vani, in his fever and poison-induced delirium, even mumbles to himself ".. didn't actually hate... I didn't... Lou..—" while recovering in the cabin with Jeanne. Given that just before this he asks "Is that what you really want? Truly?" in response to Jeanne saying "This time for sure, I'll kill the beast", perhaps we can even posit that Vani didn't actually hate Luna and didn't actually want to kill them? (I have another theory on what could have happened on That Day but let's get through this one first *wheeze*).

So let's summarize:

Vani claims he will cure RM vampires of their malnomen as revenge toward the VotBM, who is said to have created the Book of Vanitas to curse RM vampires that made them an outcast.

Curing RM vampires of malnomen = revenge since it is directly opposing using the Book to inflict curses

But Vani shows a look of sadness mixed with conviction that contradicts what would be thought of when claiming "revenge", which could possibly be him thinking back to his time with Luna, whom he did not actually hate and possibly did not want to kill but had to anyway.

So here's my theory: the reason why Vani has assumed the name "Vanitas" and is on a quest to cure RM vampires of their malnomen with the Book of Vanitas is to "rewrite" the reputation behind the name Vanitas of the Blue Moon.

... And I will continue explaining this in the reblogs ⤵️⤵️⤵️ bc holy fuck this meta is so long I have reached the image limit per post asjfklgs

[nothing-but-dreamy]

ON THE EDGE ~ Pt. 4

Characters: Gavin Reed x fem!Reader; Connor; Hank Anderson;

Warnings: cursing

Words: 2668

Gavin was far away from being 'happy'. But he listened interested in what yn had to say in the briefing. He was impressed how much she had found out within … one day. She had a bunch of files, several papers and she also had prepared a report for each one of them with the important details. If Gavin had a good day, he could do just the half of it. If any.

"So, our guy is Joseph 'The Joker'.", she stopped as she saw Gavin trying to suppress the laughter behind his hand, "Come on, Gavin. Laugh. Or otherwise you will explode.", she said amused.

"That is the stupidest name on earth.", Gavin said chuckling.

Yn watched her partner who was looking so much better when he was grinning, "Yes, that's why I suggest we should call the whole case 'JoJo'.", just as she had said it, Gavin laughed out loud, crying with tears.

Gavin’s amusement was contagious and yn joined him while she pinched the bridge of his nose.

Even Hank started to rumble with laughter, "Yeah, we should take this name. It won't get any better, I guess. Where can we find this guy?"

"Maybe in a circus with clowns?", Gavin suggested still grinning.

Yn chuckled but shook her head to get back on track, "Actually, he deals in Liberty park.

*

Twenty minutes later, all four were sitting in the 'Liberty Park Café' for 'observation'. For normal people, it wasn't that easy to detect a dealer. But for three cops and an android, it shouldn't be that hard. At least, they could disguise their work with some coffee and snacks. Mostly, coffee.

The group took a table near a window to have the park in sight. It was snowing again and therefore, too cold to be outside for too long. Because they had no picture of Joseph, they had to rely on their observation skills.

"Could this be our guy?", Connor asked and pointed at a guy with long hair and a beard. He stood underneath a tree with his hands buried in the pockets of his long coat.

Yn took a grape of the fruit salad and threw it into her mouth before she looked at the guy. It was the third guy Connor had found suspicious, "Well…", yn started, considering the possibility but then, a woman appeared and walked straight to the guy. She hugged and kissed him before they wandered off with linked arms.

Gavin looked annoyed at Connor with crossed arms, "Wow, tin can, you're the best Investigator ever."

“It’s not that I could detect drugs from this distance.”, Connor defended himself.

“Then, I don’t see why you’re even here.”

“Because yn asked me-”

“You asked him?”, Gavin asked exasperatedly and looked at her with a dark expression.

She raised her hands in surrender, “He’s Hank’s partner so, of course, he’s on board. I’m sure he will play a good role in this case.”, she said and once again, she noticed Gavin’s mood. He was on the edge of the next outburst.

Luckily, Hank was this time the one who spotted the next suitable candidate for their suspect and stopped Gavin to say whatever he wanted next, “I guess, this could be our guy.”

The other three of the group looked at a guy in his twenties. He wore some pair of jeans with holes, a t-shirt of an old grunge rock band and a black, well-worn, leather jacket. His long, blonde, greasy looking hair was tied to a ponytail. He leant casually against a street lamp as if he was waiting for someone and at the same time as if he would have all the time in the world.

“It could be JoJo.”, yn said with a slow nod. His appearance coincided with the few details she had found in the statements. The hair, height and surprisingly, the t-shirt were the same.

“It could be just another guy waiting for a hooker.”, Gavin grunted. In his eyes, nothing of this was worth his time.

“Hey, JoJo!”, a guy on a bicycle called out and waved as he passed the grunge guy.

All three pairs of eyes were landing on Gavin who rolled with his eyes, “Oh, please! That can’t be true.”, he said and wiped over his face with his hand.

"So, that's our guy, then.", Connor said with a pleased smile. He was a big fan of having a clear suspect.

The group observed JoJo for a while. Hank ordered new coffee and as their cups were refilled, several people had passed JoJo. Some were just greeting him. Some had talked with him, maybe buying drugs, “Couldn’t we just arrest him?”, Connor asked.

“We could but if yn’s theory is right, he could lead us to his boss.”, Hank explained.

"He has a type.", yn said suddenly.

"A type? A type of what?", Connor asked confused. Somehow, he had the feeling that whenever he was learning one new thing there were two other things coming his way, like these human comments.

Yn looked at Connor with a grin, "A type of woman. He ignores the blondes. But he looks after the brunette."

"No!", Gavin called out and looked serious at yn. His brows were knitted together and yn saw his eyes sparkling darkly. There he was again: her all too protective partner… or at least, he tried to be that.

Her smirk grew bigger, "It's a good idea, I think."

Gavin gritted his teeth, "And I say, no!"

"What is going on?", Connor asked Hank low while he watched the exchange between yn and Gavin.

"I'm not really sure…", Hank answered.

Before Hank could speak out his assumption, Gavin was faster to explain, "She wants to meet him.", he said coldly.

"What?", Connor asked surprised and looked at yn.

"It's the best chance we have. I'll go over to him, flirt a bit and bug him. Then, we will get him and his boss. We will have a chance to get the whole circus. It won't take me more than ten minutes.", yn said smirking, leant back in her seat with crossed arms and watched Gavin almost exploding in front of her eyes.

"And my answer is no!", he called out, which caused the other guests to look at the small group.

Yn looked challenging at Gavin, "Good that I haven't asked you for permission."

"Then, I will go with you.", Gavin demanded, thinking of himself as smart.

Yn’s eyes grew big. She looked at her partner with a confused expression, "Are you nuts? How shall I flirt with him when you're around?", she said and gestured to him and his appearance.

Gavin saw something in her eyes, in the way she was looking at him. Not sure if he was right, if she was giving him a compliment in some way or not. Was it possible that she could see him in a certain way?

"I can go with her.", Connor offered and broke Gavin’s train of thought and the connection he had with yn.

"You?", Gavin asked spitefully and sizesing up the android.

"Yes... I could act as her servant android. Even now, there are still androids out there who are serving humans. It would be no big deal.", Connor explained.

Yn was already hooked, "Best idea!I told you he will play a role in this case. So, we have a plan. Tomorrow, we will bug this fucker."

*

“Gavin, no!”, yn called out. Again and again, Gavin wished he had listened to her instead of being hard headed to stop the crazy guy on his own. Once again, Gavin suffered through the events of the last case in his dream. And once again, he heard the shots from the guy. Then, he shot the guy on his own just to find yn lying on the ground bleeding. Gavin ran over to her, turned her around and tried to wake her up but she was already unconscious. He knelt next to her, pressing his hand on her bleeding wounds to stop the blood until the ambulance was coming. He even drove to the hospital to stay by her side.

Two long hours, he was waiting til the doctor came to him, telling Gavin that she was alright and would be okay. Gavin even waited til he could visit her in the room a few hours later. Slowly, and with shaking knees, Gavin went to her room, opened the door and slipped carefully in.

Gavin’s blood was running cold because of the scene in front of him. Next to yn’s bed sat Connor, holding her hand in his with intertwined fingers. Yn was already awake, looking at the android with a love filled glance. Connor looked from yn at Gavin and back at yn, “Look who’s there. Gavin came to see you.”, Connor said softly.

“Gavin? Who’s Gavin?”, she said without even looking up…

It was three o’clock in the morning and Gavin started up from the dream, from the nightmare, with a racing heart. Once again, he was soaked with sweat. He raked his fingers through his wet hair and without a second thought, he stood up to go into his bathroom. He splashed cold water into his face several times. As he looked up into the mirror, he saw a pale guy with dark shadows under his eyes. Gavin grabbed a bottle of shampoo and threw it violently into the shower, “This god damn, fucking android!”, he yelled out. Within a few days, Connor had been able to get closer to yn. Gavin feared this android would be even able to win her over. Maybe Gavin should gather all his courage to speak with her as long as there was time or otherwise, the android could snatch her from under his nose. But how should he do that without risking their friendship?

*

Yn rummaged through her bag with clothes. She already wore some leather boots, a tight fitting and low cut, black jeans and searched for the blood red tank top. She had made her hair and she even had put makeup on with too much mascara and eyeliner for the most dramatic look. Yn found the tank top and donned it over her head. As she pulled it down, a movement in the mirror caught her attention, "Voyeurism, huh? That's a crime.", she said, smirking.

Gavin closed slowly up to her with his hands stuffed into his front pockets of his jacket, "I know. We worked on some of these cases. Listen-", he said softly, collecting all his courage and searching for the right words.

"I know what you want to say and yes, I will be careful. Connor is by my side. You and Hank on the other side of the street by the café. Nothing will happen. This is easy. You don't have to worry this much.", yn said reassuringly while she donned her leather jacket over the top. The outfit would be a bit too cold for the weather but she wanted to flirt with the suspect and so, she had to show off some skin. She even pulled down the top some more so that her décolleté got more visible.

Gavin’s eyes fell on that view which caused his mind to go blank for a moment. All in all, she was very distracting, dressed up like this and he had difficulties to focus back on what he actually wanted, "Uhm… I… It's just... There's something I have to tell-", he tried insecurely, not sure if this was a good idea at all. If Gavin would go this way there was no going back and he knew that.

The door of the locker room opened once again and Hank took the decision away from Gavin, "Yn, Fowler wants to see you.", the Lieutenant said and left again.

"Coming!”, yn called out as a response and stowed away her bag and stuff before she turned back to Gavin, “Get ready. We will leave soon.", she said with a soft pat on his chest and a smile on her lips.

Gavin looked after her. He huffed out, annoyed about himself as the door opened once again. Yn’s head appeared in the door, "Oh, and, by the way, this shirt you wear? It looks very good. The color suits your eyes.", she said, winked at him and left again. Gavin smiled softly and felt his cheeks getting warmer. He was sure that she had no idea what she was doing to him but he enjoyed these small moments. They were all he got.

*

Then, it was showtime. Hank and Gavin stood across the walkway at a bar table with two cups of coffee to go as a disguise to be able to watch the scene. JoJo was already there, leaning at the same street lamp like the day before. Now and then, he greeted someone. Then, Gavin watched yn coming down the way, still in some distance. She said something to Connor that let the android chuckle. Connor looked down at yn with a huge smile and as she looked up at him, her smile was matching the android’s one. Pain shot through Gavin as he got reminded of his dream from the night before. It was a horrible nightmare with an end that never happened like this but his mind was determined to let him suffer even more. As if it wouldn’t be enough to get reminded of yn being shot all the time. No, now the android had to be in his dreams, as well.

“It’s good that Connor kept his LED ring.”

“W-what?”, Gavin asked. Hank had pulled him out of his thoughts and this time, Gavin was thankful for the old man to be there, even if he would never admit that loudly.

Hank nodded into the direction of Connor and yn, they almost had reached JoJo, “I mean without the LED ring, Connor would look more like her handsome boyfriend than her servant.”, Hank said amused.

Gavin observed the two and wasn’t happy what he saw. Connor was dressed completely in black and with his height he looked like a bodyguard. The way they interacted told that they seemed to be very close to each other. Gavin was looking forward to the end of this bullshit, his nerves were already blank but the case just had started. It would last a bit longer til everything would fall back to normal again without Connor and Hank being around them all the time.

Then, yn passed JoJo and as she had expected, the dealer was looking after her. Much to her delight, he even whistled after her as she swayed her hips a bit more provokingly. Yn stopped and turned around. JoJo was confident, very confident, he smirked at her and wasn’t impressed by Connor as he stepped a bit forward. Yn gave him a sign to stay where he was before she walked over to JoJo with a flirty smirk on her lips.

The longer she was talking to the dealer, the more Gavin became nervous. It got on his nerves to see JoJo coming closer to yn step by step. She was laughing about whatever he said. She leant forward to be closer to him whenever she could. And Connor just stood there, observing the scene, looking out for her - as planned.

Hank noticed that Gavin was annoyed by the scene. Since yn had began to talk with JoJo, Gavin had started to torture his empty cardboard cup. He was drumming on the lid and scratching on the material the longer the whole scene lasted.

As JoJo touched yn on her hip while he leant forward to whisper something into her ear, Gavin squashed the cardboard cup completely with his knuckles turning white.

"You know, Reed, that's the reason why you couldn't do Connor's job.", Hank said and pointed at Gavin's hand.

"Shut the fuck up.", Gavin muttered angrily and just relaxed as yn and Connor left the scene finally.

[nameless-shrimp]

HANGING BY A MOMENT || SATORU GOJO

You and Satoru Gojo were the strongest together; some even said you both were the most powerful duo. However, after the incident that happened, it was questioned whether you were the most strongest with your mindset.

Pairing: Satoru Gojo x F!Reader

Type: One-shot

Warnings: Mentions of suicide/implied suicide, depression, heavy angst with character death, swearing, and grammar errors.

Notes: Because I like to hurt my heart a lot. This is pretty bad, not gonna lie, so I'm sorry if it's terrible.

The thing about Satoru Gojo was that he was the strongest.

It was shown through the cursed techniques that he portrayed. Whenever there was a small cry for help, he could sense the weaknesses of the curses and was able to be exorcised within a matter of seconds to minutes, or maybe, less than an hour. He was too good for the jujutsu world.

However, beneath all of the powers that he was able to show off, what was the most strongest of all is his love for you. And—it really did start after you were assigned to train with him at first, when he was a second-year and you were the first-year.

Both of you battled through everything together; you both became the most powerful duo. Cocky smirks and cheeky grins were shown after each curse was exorcised and you were there for him throughout his own mental battles as well, whilst he did the same for you.

But as time went on, it suddenly began to worsen for you, and you weren’t sure if it was due to the stressful order of the higher ups or maybe, it was because of the horrendous scenes that you were forced to witness every single time you walked out the door for a mission.

With your husband at your side, Satoru always found his way to be there for you.

Satoru knew about your sudden depression that hit you so hard, almost as if a tidal wave had swept your voice away and every night, he heard you cry about having to risk your life on a daily basis. He couldn’t bring himself to go to work most days, leaving Nanami the work to pick up after him, and Satoru knew you were a priority, but the innocents around the world were just as important too.

However, whenever you broke down crying, wanting the mental pain to stop, Satoru could only hold onto you and give you soft kisses on your neck, forehead, hands—anywhere. He wanted you to calm down, to be safe, to be trusted, and to be happy.

“I love you,” Satoru whispered close to your ears, holding you close to his chest, not minding the tears that were dripping onto his bare chest. He sighed, clutching onto you tightly. “I love you; you’re not alone. You’re going to get through this. You’re the strongest person I know, baby, you’ll manage.”

“I know,” your voice croaked, and his heart felt as if he was losing its pieces. He couldn’t stand seeing you in so much mental pain.

As time progressed, you avoided going to the sessions with the students, and they all relied on Satoru to pick up the pace with everyone. He couldn’t blame you though, you didn’t love the life you had as a jujutsu sorcerer, and Satoru kept up a happy face in front of his students. Sometimes, taking them out to dinner and annoying Nanami helped get him through the day, but most nights, you were underneath the covers, frightened by the past trauma that soared through your head.

The nights were endless, but Satoru remained by your side. With every pull to his chest and kiss to the forehead, it eased your breakdowns a little bit more. Satoru couldn’t blame you for acting the way you did. The sight of blood, murder, indescribable and unforgivable crimes of assault were all over the streets as a jujutsu sorcerer; this wasn’t something you had asked for and you simply wanted it to stop—to make it all fucking stop.

“The life you have now isn’t for you, you don’t have to walk this path anymore if you don’t want it,” Satoru explained to you one night, where your breath was heaving against his chest and you stared at the minimal ceiling above you. “Nanami quit. He couldn’t take this shit anymore either, so you can do the same.”

“And what about you?” You questioned, trailing your fingers along his.

He smiled at you, comfort growing within the blue aura gaze of his eyes. “I love you. I’m supporting you with whatever you wanna do, especially if it’s best for you.”

And—well, that lasted for one night.

The higher ups had assigned you a mission, despite the fact that you avoided the majority of your sessions with the students and that you declined most of the missions you received. While Satoru was out in Tokyo with his first-years, you laid in your bed, covers pulled up to your neck as you read the message that was sent to you by Principal Yaga. It turned out that there was a special grade curse that was inhabiting a college campus and it needed an immediate exorcision.

You have taken out multiple special grade curses; most of the time it was with Satoru, especially when you both were still students at Jujutsu Tech, and you knew that this would’ve been a breeze. However, you haven’t trained in about two months; you knew that you were rusty, you knew that your mind was lost in its own shadows and your thoughts wandered to different directions. It wasn’t the best bet for you to go fight this special grade curse on your own, but—for some reason, a part of you decided to take control.

The moment you left the house, you contacted Satoru that you would be out on an important mission, and despite the multiple times he tried to call you, you declined every one of them. The higher ups had their ways, and you always ignored what they said, not minding their conservative viewpoints to slash your own opinions of them; they had their own despicable tasks, and perhaps, this was one of the missions that you’d be falling in for their act.

It didn’t take long until you realized you were next to burning buildings and the bodies of innocent students were laid out in front of you. It was a breeze fooling around with the special-grade curse, and it had that cocky grin on its face every time it tried to make a move on you, but with every swift dodge, it only caught itself in its own tangled web.

However, you felt your movements to be fast and sturdy, though it was all hollow. Nothing but emptiness was washing over you as you only kept your arms crossed while dodging every physical attack that the curse tried to unleash on you. Their techniques were weak, as you always thought, and you never could stop yourself from laughing because you knew you sounded like your husband.

A part of you wanted it all to vanish and have this come to an end. And with one glance of the burning buildings around you as you bent down to look at the decaying bodies that were surrounding your presence, you felt a strong surge of power growing within you.

Before you knew it, you decided to flash a smile, and finally make it all come to an end.

-

“Sat—”

“Don’t.”

“Satoru!”

“Don’t fucking get in my way.”

Yaga attempted to get in the way of Satoru, who was stopping him from coming into the building. With an unpleasant look on his face, Yaga grabbed ahold of Satoru, ignoring the fact that Satoru did not use Infinity, and then pushed him against the wall, making eye contact with the white-haired man whose eyes hid beneath the blindfold.

Yaga didn’t admit it, but he knew it.

Satoru’s eyes were pooled with sorrow underneath his blindfold, and maybe, like one of these situations, Satoru was thankful to have worn a blindfold every day for his life. At least no one could see how much suffering he was going through; one moment he felt his heartbeat stop its pace, and another, it continued to beat rapidly, such as when Yaga caught him off guard and now his back was against the wall.

“Is it true?” Satoru gritted his teeth, placing his hands on the grip of Yaga’s. “Fucking tell me if it’s true.”

“Satoru…” Yaga’s voice lowered and he looked away, not wanting to admit the news of his wife’s death right in front of him. He closed his eyes and scrunched up his nose in displeasure.

With that expression, Satoru got his answer. He pursed his lips, unsure if he should cry or let out a frustrated scream, but he did neither. Instead, he tightened his lips in a thin line, holding back a choke, and then asked, “how did… what happened…”

“Satoru,” Yaga sighed, lowering his grasp on the man and then he placed his arm down, finally letting Satoru go from his grip. “You don’t need to—”

“Like hell,” Satoru interrupted angrily. “Tell me what the hell happened.”

“We don’t know,” Yaga cautiously spoke at the mourning man in front of him.

“How the fuck do you not know?! You’re telling me nobody knows how my wife di—”

“The higher ups assigned her a mission for a special grade,” Yaga explained, turning his gaze away from Satoru. Clearly, not even Yaga, himself, wanted to talk about such depressing matters. “Y/N agreed to it immediately. The curse was exorcised, but her life was taken in the process of it.”

“No fucking way,” Satoru quipped, stomping on his foot. “She’s not that stupid. She wouldn’t allow herself to die so easily to a special grade. We went through so much shit together. And you’re telling me her life was taken away from it?”

“Sato—”

“You’re just messing with me, aren’t you?”

“Satoru…”

“God,” Satoru grunted, placing his palms on his warm forehead. There were too many emotions running through his mind; perhaps anger had gotten in a fight with sadness, and now both of these mixed emotions were the process of his thoughts. Nonetheless, he was drowning himself, and he wasn’t sure of where to actually process the news he was receiving in order to get to shore. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, you’re not serious, are you?”

Yaga remained silent, unsure of how to properly help the grieving man.

Without another word, Yaga stepped aside, allowing the entrance for the front door to be wide open. Unsure of what Yaga’s thoughts were processing, Satoru didn’t hesitate to push the doors open aggressively as the man he just walked past just kept his head down, not wanting to pester Satoru any further with his actions.

The audible footsteps was enough to make the atmosphere of the room go shallow. And once the door was open to the infirmary, the sight of your corpse was enough for him to stand there. It was impossible to have you look so beautiful despite your figure to be in a pale hue and your eyes were closed. His legs were frozen and he felt his fingers twitch, and without hesitation, he looked down, not minding the people in the room that had their eyes on him, contemplating on the actions he was going to do.

People knew Satoru as the strongest. That’s what everyone saw him as, the balance for everything, and despite the man that he was, Satoru consistently remained high and mighty but still protected those that weren’t as powerful as him. He really was the strongest.

But with a loud, piercing scream that escaped his lips and echoed throughout the hallways—for Satoru to be the strongest, it seemed that it wasn’t the case anymore.

-

The rumors spread very quickly.

With how powerful you were, and Principal Yaga was there to witness how much potential you portrayed and that you were able to outmatch Satoru in your matches with him when you were both students, it didn’t take long for theories to pop up. And with every speculation wavering in the air, Satoru wasn’t sure if his own students and faculty were trying to destroy him more than he already was or if they were suffering through your death just as much as he was.

Satoru could even hear Yuji’s words, with his face stuffed with his lunch, Yuji barely spoke out, “do you think L/N-sensei did it on purpose…? Maybe she allowed herself to di—”

A smack on his face was audible and it seemed like Nobara scolded him for bringing you up with Satoru’s presence around.

The words were exhausting; Satoru couldn’t bear with the rumors and speculations of your sudden death. It wasn’t easing the sudden sharp pain that his heart would get at the sight of your favorite pastry at the bakery or the lollipops he’d avoid eating due to the fact that they were your favorite flavor. He couldn’t take it anymore, and it was gnawing him deep down underneath his flushed skin.

“Gojo-sensei?”

He heard Yuji’s words, and his students were staring at him, keeping his head down on the table with his fists clenched. Satoru couldn’t be angry with his students. They were just as unhappy about the situation as he was, but there was no lie in the air when Satoru knew that he was grieving the most from your sudden loss.

Satoru didn’t say a word. He got up from the table next to his first-years and then left to go to another room—he wasn’t sure where he was going; anywhere but there, or really, anywhere to get to you, somehow.

He ignored the waves of the other faculty members and Satoru kept his gaze down, wondering if you’d scold him for just leaving the kids behind without a single word or—or—or the sound of your voice; the soothing, so comforting, and gentle voice you had whenever he felt mellow and down on himself. He could practically hear you speak to him with his own ears, suggesting to go out for ice cream or that you were there for him whenever he needed to speak out his own mind.

Satoru’s hands ticked as he turned the knob of the door in front of him and was invited with dust falling onto his face. He fought back a sneeze and then waved the particles away, and he invited himself to your own office. He remembered you called it your little ‘getaway’ from the other faculty members and the students, and the only person that was really allowed to be in this room was Satoru.

Satoru sat down on the chair, not minding the dust, and his eyes gazed upon on the brown wooden frame of your marriage day. His heart felt warm, but it didn’t take long for it to fall into its empty space again, and he clenched his fists, feeling so incomplete and confused.

It had been three months since you died.

Satoru listened to everyone’s rumors; maybe you did decide to let yourself die easily to a curse, but he knew you from the bottom of his heart—or so he thought. You knew you wouldn’t go that route and you’d give it your all; he felt confused, too confused, and with the kick of his feet, he placed his feet on your old desk and then tilted his head down.

“Sorry sweetie,” he muttered quietly. “I know you didn’t like it when I put my feet on your desk.”

Satoru laid his head back, staring up at the blank ceiling. He wasn’t sure of why you decided to take on a dangerous mission after you had avoided keeping in contact with the school for so long, and he wasn’t aware that you’d go on such a mission without his assistance or at least, you left without any thought into it. He knew you, he could’ve sworn he did, and Satoru remembered the nights that you’d cry in his chest about the nightmares you’d get or that you were tired of the endless battles and you were tired—just tired—you were so fucking tired and mentally drained of the chaos you had to endure as a jujutsu sorcerer.

Part of Satoru couldn’t blame you for what you did. The life you both shared was exhausting, but he continued to remain by your side no matter what happened. With every curse exorcised and that accomplished grin on your face, he fell in love with your capabilities and your strength as well as who you were as a person; at least, he knew you were someone he wasn’t ever going to lose from his heart.

Satoru wanted to scream again, but instead he didn’t.

He trailed his gaze to his feet that were still on your abandoned desk, still lost in confusion for your actions. But he knew that sitting around and wondering about the ‘what ifs’ wasn’t going to do anything for him. Perhaps you did let yourself get taken away so soon—maybe you did decide to choose suicide, or maybe that special-grade was stronger than you thought—than he thought.

Regardless, sitting around and wondering about what actually happened wasn’t going to bring you back. What happened had happened; you died, and it was that. Though, it was hard to grasp, of course it was, Satoru loved you tremendously and losing his other half had struck his heartstrings to the point where they had snapped.

Satoru sighed, not wanting to get stuck in the lost void any longer.

He looked at the emptiness of your desk, all that laid was the framed wedding photo and a black pen that had its cap off.

Satoru smiled, staring at his shoes as he came to realize that he still had his feet on your desk. Quickly, he kicked them off and then looked back at the wedding photo that was on your desk.

“My feet are off your desk now, honey,” Satoru kept a smile on his lips.

He knew you hated it when he kept his feet on your desk.