#so i'm an idiot and just realized i put this on my main blog -_-

[starfall-dream]

reupload from my main blog

Here's my original post on the main three, but this post will be expanding on it more. Feel free to send in any ideas you have surrounding the au.

Also, I've gotten some asks regarding Tav in the au, and while I'm not interested in including tav, I want to know your thoughts on Durge and how the interact with reader, so please send those in.

Kethric (platonic yandere):

Kethric is really fascinating to me because, unlike the other two who I think are driven by the idea power in relation to you, Kethric is driven by the past. He regrets not protecting Isobel, he regrets a lot of his past.

I think when he meets you in moonrise it's not a immediate "omg you're a image of my daughter who died and now hates me", it's more of a "wow this human is very clearly out of their depth, why are they leading this group of idiots?" It's more of a strange facination rather than an immediate connection. I don't even think he gets people to watch you and your group of ruffians, he just kinda keeps watch of you through word of mouth.

How, as mentioned here, his obsession does grow the more he views you asa a surrogate child. He sees how weak you are, how hopeless, but despite that all you still put on a brave face. It's almost commendable in a way, you're smart and courageous but also a mess. It reminds him of Isobel when she was a child, so full of wonder and awe, but weak and dependent on him. He craves that, someone depending on him, and he starts to want that from you.

As time goes on, your companions recognize Kethrics less than normal behavior, and plan on using you as bait to infiltrate moonrise. You're apprehensive at first, but you come to realize that Kethric poses no harm to you, and by extension neither does anyone in moonrise. Kethric revels in the attention you provide him, of course, not really knowing that you're playing into these feelings for your own gain. He places you in Isobel's old room, attempting to be as gentle as possible with you, trying to mimic the his past with his daughter.

He doesn't see you as Isobel, he sees you as another child, a redo. You're a chance to right his wrongs, and maybe at some point you warm up to him, you smile to him as he recounts you stories of his past, you laugh with him, giving him a rare moment of peace.

But of course, all good things come to an end, and eventually you're rescued by your companions, your wrapped away from him, and all the warmth and welcome he felt is gone, and he's forced to acknowledge the fact of the matter. You don't belong here, in Moonrise with him and Faerun as a whole. You're lost, and maybe, his death will serve as a way of you finding your way home.

Gortash (Platonic or Romantic, you decide):

I view Gortash as a mixture of Kethric and Orin. He's sadistic and mean, but also understanding and protective. He doesn't care for you and your companions circumstances, he has a goal and he will do everything in his power to achieve that goal. And I think, at least in the beginning, he views you as a way of achieving that goal.

You make a deal with Gortash, though in reality he doesn't plan on keeping strong on that deal, he views it more as a test of strength, a test of will. Are you as strong and powerful and your companions claim, or are you ultimately just a fable. It's fascinating really, watching you through his Steel Watchers, struggling and tired. He sees that you are drained, and he's willing to abuse that. He'll twist every little last drop of determination out of you until you can no longer fight.

The moment when Gortash's feelings change is when he realizes your position. You're from another world, whatever that means, but it makes sense. You did not exist before this very moment, there was not a trace of you before now. You seem clueless about this world, bumbling about like a child. So you're either insane or you're telling the truth, and a part of him wants to consider it.

A part of him, small but present, recognizes a piece of himself in you. You're terrified, fighting to survive, working with anyone who will help you. You're alone in this world, just like he him, and a part of him sympathizes with you. However, a large part of him sees your potential.

If you just had more drive, more strive, you could be something powerful, achieve something great, and you could do that with him. You and him together could achieve great things, and maybe if you just had the motivation, his ideas could become a reality.

Gortash hates the more sympathetic side of himself, because it's weakness, and to an extension you are a weakness. You represent a part of himself before he became strong and great and powerful, and he's constantly teetering on the edge of wanting to foster those peaceful ideals within you, and fill you with a power that rivals his own.

Orin (Platonic or Romantic, you decide):

Orin is the definition of sadistic, and most, if not all her thoughts about you are defined by that. She hates any sort of peaceful feeling she has about you, like Gortash she views it as weakness.

I think a lot of the way she feels about you would depend on Durge and how they view you, but since you're taking on the role of Tav, it's most likely that Durge is dead, but I'm just putting the idea on the table.

I like the idea of Orin idealizing her relationship with you. If she's romantic, she views all her crazy and violent actions towards you as the ultimate sign of love. She kills in your name, not understanding why you hate her declarations. Orin is insane, so in a romantic and platonic relationship, she'll switch between loving you and hating every aspect of you.

In a platonic relationship, she'll view you as an extension of her, a protege as sorts. It doesn't matter really what you want, if you agree to this or not, she can sense the strength within you, and that she has the ability to foster it. She'll try and get you to see the strength Bhaal, even if your a brick wall when it comes to it.

I think Orin wants companionship, despite what you might believe. She wants to relate to somebody, she wants someone to relate to her. It's pathetic, she knows, but you're a blank slate, so it's easy to plant ideas into your head in hopes that they sprout.

---

A/n: Please talk about bg3 with me, also sorry for the spelling errors.

[questioningwriter]

(This is one of those moments where I hate myself. It was supposed to be a freaking!!! One-Shot!!!!! One!! Freaking!!! Chapter!!!!!!! And now I have to do a part 3!!!!! How do do this to myself?)

(First post on the new blog. If I were smart, I would have tagged all of my old followers in this one, so they saw it.

… unfortunately, I'm not smart.)

Edit: Fixed the links!

Hostage Pt. 2

TW: Mentions of suicide, drugging, kidnapping

Part 1

"-burn in hell, you bastard." Supervillain said as the world went up in flames.

Supervillains last words played over and over again in Superhero's head. He couldn't erase it. He hadn't thought Supervillain would actually kill himself.

"Superhero?" Superhero turned to see one of the cleanup crew walking toward him. "I think you should see this."

Superhero followed the other man as he led the crime fighter into the destroyed building. "From your description of events, we were able to figure out where Supervillain was standing at the time of the explosion. And, well-" The worker gestured to a spot of completely untouched concrete. "He was right here."

There's no body. The words rang in Superhero's mind as he realized he implications. "Supervillain is still alive." He managed. "We need to assemble a team to find him and bring him to justice."

"Understood, sir." One of the other hero's raced over. "Where do we start?"

"In the most obvious place." Superhero stood. "His main base."

Hero was exhausted. He'd pulled the nightshift to watch over the hostage, and all he wanted to do was go home.

And then he walked into his office to see that, in his absence, Villain had gouged into his wrists in an attempt to get free.

"God fucking dammit." Hero muttered, walking over. "You fucking idiot."

Villain glared at him. "I bet you'd do worse to yourself to escape me."

Hero shrugged. Villain wasn't wrong. "Still." He grabbed the Villain's arm as he uncuffed one wrist. "I promised Superhero you'd be uninjured-"

A shift in the air behind them, then a knife was pressing to their throat. "Let him go, and put your hands in the air." Supervillain growled in Hero's ear.

Hero dd as he was told. Villain sat up, wincing as the cuff around his other wrist shifted, agitating the wound. "That hurts like a bitch." Villain growled. Grabbing the keys from where Hero had dropped them on the floor, he unlocked the other cuff around his wrist. The cuffs fell to the ground as Villain stood. "Thanks for coming to get me, baby." He teased.

"Of course, sweetheart." Supervillain purred. "Be a dear, and get those cuffs for me? I have a feeling we're going to need insurance."

Villain did as he was asked. "Can we take a vacation?" Villain asked, striding over to the desk. Judging by the angle of Supervillain's head in Hero's prereferral, he was checking out Villain's ass. "Given Superhero's renewed obsession with you, I think we deserve one."

"You're not wrong." Supervillain mused. "How about Cuba?"

"I want to go to Hawaii." Villain looked up from the note he was writing. "Which one do I put?"

Supervillain considered. "The one in the country. Manor house."

Villain wrote something down as Supervillain cuffed Hero's wrists behind him.

"We good to go?" Villain made to walk back over, but wobbled dangerously.

"Yeah." Supervillain fished around in his pocket for something. "Just give me a second."

A damp cloth was pressed to Hero's face, accompanied by the familiar sweet scent of chloroform. Hero thrashed against the criminal's hold, before forced to inhale, and passed out.

~

Superhero and the rest of the hero's were tearing through one of Supervillain's bases when they get the alert of a break-in at HQ. Racing back, they encountered a... bit of a problem.

"Hero's gone!" Other Hero cried, bursting into where Superhero stood in Hero's office. "We searched the whole building..." Other hero trailed off as their superior didn't react. "Is everything okay?"

Superhero didn't answer. He was too focused on the note in his hands.

Missing something? If no, ignore this. If yes, then meet us at the location below to collect what you lost by midnight tomorrow! See you there, super-douche! -Supervillain and Villain

On the paper was an string of numbers. Coordinates.

Superhero looked up at Other Hero. "Get everyone to meeting room 3." He snarled. "Supervillain kidnapped Hero."

[layzeal]

i think your plea to keep 'shit' out of the main tag is worthwhile, but i don't think most people will understand what it means. to each person, the unacceptable looks slightly different. something that you consider to be drama-causing and shit-stirring to another person, esp a younger person, it isn't, or might even be the opposite. esp when it comes to generational and interpretation differences in language and perceived tone. then it's a big game of 'but what'd i do? i didn't mean it' because people really do stir shit about the most banal things, how could the poster have known they would meet the Number One Discourse Creator on their simple non-confrontational post? or it could be a different game of 'so what, there's no rules against starting a controversial conversation' and they're also right. we can't honestly dictate who does what in the main tag - so long as it's on topic, who actually has the authority to decide what's 'shit' and what's worthy of being seen? you don't have to respond to this btw, i just felt hopelessness at your post. if only!

you know, you're right!! i agree with you! i've just now realized my post would likely make people with like, anxiety disorders or ocd very hesitant to post in the main tag. my intention isn't at all to police what should or shouldn't go there, but for people to think twice before posting something like "ugh x character/ship is so bad and annoying 🙄 here's my bad faith interpretation of why anyone would ever like them and if you do you're ugly and stupid" or "x character/ship is actually the only good thing in this and anyone with anyone bad to say about them is an idiot who never learned how to read" which is a very specific type of discourse bait that, while perfectly fine to post in their own blog, putting it in the main tag for everyone to see? it'll just drive people away from it

but ofc not every post that feels uncharitable or too charitable for a character/pairing is going to be discourse bait, this is fandom and everyone should share their opinion, and posting in the main tag means finding more people that you can talk to about that! it's nuanced and ofc what i consider discourse bait isn't going to be the same another person does, and it's just something we'll have to learn to live with

but that's just all i'm asking for. a little bit more care and consideration, not even for my sake (i don't check the tag that much anyway and cab just block people), but for the sake of the new people arriving who will struggle to get notes on their art and writing if interested parties will have to scroll through rage-baiting hot takes every 5 posts you know?

[mellohi-does-syscourse]

I actually really appreciate this response lol, very kind, didn't come off as rude (I got a lot of Reblogs that were just plain calling me an idiot and stuff-)

That answer was made pretty quickly, so I didn't exactly put a lot of thought into it! I realize I wasn't exactly kind, or entirely right, I just wanted to get an answer out! When it comes down to it, I'm not "anti Endo". I wouldn't feel comfortable saying I'm against an entire group of people I know barely anything about, especially about something going on in their brain! I put "endos dni" on my main blogs mainly because, while there's definitely kind people who I've agreed with and had good conversations with who happen to be endos, there's bad apples (like any community!) and I have had particularly bad experiences with them, out of a lot of other communities!

So, I'd just rather they kept their opinions about endos away from me, in the kindest way possible! Ill like posts by endos and I don't care if endos follow me, I just don't like that kind of discourse on my posts, because it usually brings those bad apples, and then it's a whole other can of worms

I don't really doubt that endos exist, because brains are really weird, I just try to make my blogs a safe space for me and that means keeping away people who I know could make me anxious, or put me in some more stressful situations, even if it might come off as rude to some, or misinformed

And thanks for the articles!! And for the corrections, just wanted to clear the air ^^

(also, system spaces that I prefer interacting with are the ones with people with experiences I can relate to, trauma wise and being disordered wise. With most endos, I don't have that ability to relate! At least, not as much)

Hello! Sorry to be a bother, I came from your art acc. So I wanna ask what's a pro endo/endo? I saw your dni list and I want to make sure I know what it is so I don't disregard any boundaries. Sorry again if the question might be bothersome

Oh no worries dude! Uhhh endos short for endogenic systems, aka people who think you can be a system (have DID or OSDD) without any trauma, which, isn't correct according to like, 99% of research done about systems and how they work. So, ya know, medical misinformation isn't cool, and pretending to be a system isn't either

[munson-blurbs]

Hi! Just found your blog and saw you were looking for ideas.

A best friends to lovers trope that gets super smutty 🥵? I'm a sucker for it

- @eddiesprincess86

Eeep I love this trope, too!

Warnings: so much smut (18+ only minors DNI!!!!), oral (f receiving), fingering, handjob, piv, protected sex, language, pet names, angst

WC: 3.5k

A/N: getting requests seriously makes my whole day. Please keep them coming (no pun intended) <3

--

It was the silliest action that had you falling for your best friend. Almost ridiculous, really. He was driving you home from work a few months ago, like he did every Thursday when you worked the closing shift. He’d browse the library for the new fantasy releases until you clocked out.

“I’m ready to go!” you announced, exhaustion evident in your voice.

“Your chariot awaits,” Eddie says as he walks you to his van. There’s a group of teenage boys smoking outside, leering at you, but they leave you alone when they spot Eddie by your side.

“Can I hire you to be my bodyguard?” you tease, opening the van door. The smell of stale cigarettes, weed, and Eddie’s cologne hits you as you climb in. He closes the door behind you.

“Depends. What’s my salary?” he jokes right back, turning the key in the ignition.

You pretend to consider this seriously. “Hmm,” you ponder, tapping your finger to your chin. “If you’ll be my bodyguard, I won’t tell anyone that you secretly love Grease and have a massive crush on Olivia Newton-John.”

“First of all,” he starts, keeping his eyes trained on the road as he lectures you, “everyone loves Olivia Newton-John. And second, you’re supposed to be keeping that to yourself, anyway. My salary needs to be something in addition to keeping your big mouth shut.”

You’re about to threaten to spill the beans all over the morning announcements when a sports car zooms around the van, cutting Eddie off and then slamming on the breaks as a sudden curve materializes. 

“Holy shit!” Eddie curses loudly and swerves onto the shoulder.

And that’s when he does it.

He puts his arm out in front of you, even though you’re wearing a seatbelt. His calloused hand grips your bicep as he multitasks keeping you and the vehicle safe. 

“I am so sorry,” he apologizes, even though what happened clearly wasn’t his fault. “Are you okay?”

“I-I’m fine, Eds,” you croak, heart beating out of your chest for multiple reasons. “Just shaken up.”

“You sure? No bumps or bruises?” Concern seeps into his face as the adrenaline dies down. He uses his thumb to move your chin to him so he can get a better look.

“Positive. W-what about you?” you ask, realizing that he wasn’t buckled in. 

He rubs his side and winces. “Got thrown into the gear shift. Gonna leave a nasty bruise, I bet.” 

“Don’t worry, I’ll tell everyone you got it fighting a bear,” you attempt to crack a joke, hoping to get him to smile. He’s too deep in thought to process it.

“I thought--I was scared you got hurt,” he blurts out. “Never would’ve forgiven myself if something happened to you.” He massages the back of his neck, hair sticking to his skin where he’s started to sweat.

“Eddie, I’m okay. And if something did happen, it would’ve been that idiot’s fault,” you gesture to the empty road where the other driver cut you off, “not yours.” And maybe it’s because you’re too rattled to think straight, or maybe because it just seems right, but you grab his hand and squeeze it tight. “Take a breath. Wanna stay over at my place so you don’t have to drive all the way home? You can crash on the couch.” Or in my bed, you think, but you don’t dare say.

He nods and slowly pulls back onto the main road.

~

Eddie’s feelings towards you were much more of a slow burn, but they most certainly were strong.

He was in denial about it at first, forcing himself to look away from the swing of your hips, tearing his gaze from your lips as you sang along to whatever played on the radio. He tried to feign annoyance when you interrupted him at Hellfire to tell him about your college acceptance but couldn’t bring himself to do it, wrapping you in a hug and spinning you while the rest of the club looked on in bemusement. The fact that he thought about you all the time, wanted you to wear his Dio vest proudly, imagining throwing his arm over your shoulder and kissing you softly during your weekly movie nights--those were normal, right? Just regular thoughts a guy has about a girl.

And there were more sexual thoughts, but those were just par for the course. Every man fantasizes about undressing his female best friend, reaching his hand around your waist to pull you closer, pressing rough kisses into your neck, across your chest, down your stomach, until he reaches your...right?

Okay, maybe not so normal.

But he can’t hide his feelings one night about two weeks after the near-accident when you call to cancel on movie night.

“Sorry, Eds. Can we reschedule for tomorrow?” you apologize as you apply mascara to your lower lashes.

“Everything okay?” he asks, tucking the phone under his ear as he flicks on his lighter and smokes a cigarette. It’s a bad habit, and he’s trying to quit, but when something upsets him, it’s his go-to vice.

“Yeah. I have a date tonight,” you confess. It’s with the barista at the coffee shop you frequent. The guy isn’t really your type; a bit too sure of himself and too flirtatious with everyone, but you’re desperate for anything to get you over this silly little crush on Eddie.

“Oh.” There’s disappointment in his voice. “Yeah, okay. Have fun, but not too much fun,” he tries to tease but can’t manage to get the joke across.

“Don’t be too sad. I know it was your night to pick the movie, but you can pick it two weeks in row,” you offer.

“Do you need a ride?” he asks, thinking that maybe he can talk you out of the date if he can talk to you beforehand. He just needs to figure out what to say.

“Nah, I’m good. He’s gonna pick me up at my house,” you reply while trying to figure out what to wear. “Purple shirt or yellow shirt?”

“Huh?”

“Should I wear a purple shirt or a yellow shirt?” you repeat to clarify.

You look good in either, but the yellow really makes your eyes sparkle, Eddie wants to say, but only says, “uh, yellow.”

“Thanks!” you chirp. “Okay, gotta finish getting ready. You’re the best, Eds. I appreciate you understanding.”

He understands, all right. He understands that he needs to get you off of his mind before he drives over to your place and tells you how he really feels.

He grabs a single beer from the kitchen, then doubles back and takes out the whole six-pack. It’s your favorite, he’d bought it just for movie night tonight, but now he’s just going to drink them all himself. Fuck it.

~

The phone wakes him the next morning, a bleating sound in his throbbing head. “H-hello?” he grumbles, wiping the sleep from his eyes.

“Did I wake you?” he perks up slightly at the sound of your voice, grimacing as his joints crack. “It’s almost noon. What are you, 16?”

“If I was 16, I would have a killer hangover from just a six-pack,” he says without thinking.

“You drank a whole six-pack? By yourself?” you hiss. “Is this what happens when I’m not around to babysit you?”

“Guess so.”

“Well, I was hoping we could make our Saturday evening movie night into a Sunday afternoon movie day?” you ask hopefully. “I can bring some greasy food for that hangover, you old man.”

Eddie wants nothing more than to snuggle with you on the couch, eating fries and watching movies half-asleep. But he can’t allow himself that luxury anymore. You’re going to be someone else’s, if you aren’t already.

“Nah, I just wanna sleep off this hangover,” he replies finally. You feel the disappointment sink into your stomach. “I’ll talk to you soon.” There’s a soft click and the line goes dead.

“Ookay,” you say to no one in particular. Eddie had never hid from you when he was hungover; in fact, he was usually the one calling you to bring him aspirin because he never kept any at his place. You try not to overthink it, but there was definitely something weird going on with Eddie.

~

You’d been looking forward to your Thursday shift so that you could talk to Eddie about what had happened earlier that week, but he never showed. You called your home voicemail from the library phone, but the automated response announced “zero new messages.”

You’d take the bus here like you usually did, but you really didn’t feel comfortable waiting at the bus stop alone at 9 PM. Luckily, your coworker offered you a ride home.

“You live on Archer Street, right?” she asks as she exits the parking lot in her sedan.

“Yeah,” you respond softly. “Actually, could you take me to Forest Hills Trailer Park?” When Wayne had moved into an apartment with a new girlfriend, he let Eddie continue to live in the trailer. “Already took over the whole damn place,” he’d gruffly said.

Your co-worker arches her eyebrow. “That where your boyfriend lives?” 

“He’s just a friend.” Maybe he wasn’t even that anymore.

She laughs, eyes crinkling at the corners, like you’d just told a hilarious joke. “Whatever you say.”

~

You bang on the trailer door loud enough to wake the dead. You’re sure that Eddie’s neighbors don’t appreciate it, and one even shouts shut the fuck up out his window, but you couldn’t care less.

“Eddie Munson, you’d better have a really good excuse for bailing on me tonight!” you call out angrily, still pounding on the door. A light goes out in his bedroom. “I saw that!”

The door flies open. Eddie’s standing there in plaid pajama pants and an old Corroded Coffin t-shirt. 

“Eddie, what the fuck?” You push your way into the trailer, not eager to annoy any other neighbors. “You didn’t pick me up from work! I had to bum a ride like an asshole.”

“Sorry,” he shrugs, but he certainly doesn’t seem it. “Figured your new boyfriend would be there.”

“Why does everyone keep assuming I have a boyfriend?” you hiss to yourself.

“Because of that date you went on? When you ditched me?” Eddie remarks snidely.

“At least I called to let you know I wouldn’t be there!” you retort. “And that guy isn’t my boyfriend. The date sucked, he was insufferable, and I would’ve told you all this if you picked me up from work!”

“Maybe you can get a car then.” He crosses his arms over his chest, refusing to make eye contact with you.

“Oh, great idea,” you roll your eyes, voice dripping with sarcasm. “I’ll just have my rich parents buy me that new Benz I’ve been wanting.”

“Sounds good to me.” Eddie opens the trailer door and waits for you to leave.

“Y’know what? Fuck you,” you spit venomously. “I miss one movie night and this is how you treat me? Like you haven’t missed any for one of your shows, or to pick up an extra shift?”

“‘S not the same,” he mutters. “I didn’t do it for someone else.”

You laugh. “So I’m never supposed to meet anyone? Just you and me watching movies, never going on dates or getting married or having kids?” You take a deep breath. “Or do you get to do that, while I just sit around at your beck and call?”

Eddie sighs. “You done?”

“Yeah, sure. Here’s a parting gift,” you flip him the bird and start to leave, but he grabs your wrist and pulls you back.

“You’re right,” he starts, shuffling his feet. “But if I’m being unfair, then you’re being oblivious.” He walks towards you, repositioning his hand so it’s holding yours. “Why do you think I got so upset that you missed movie night?”

“Because you’re a giant man baby?” you say meanly, trying to pull away.

“Maybe,” Eddie offers a small chuckle. “or maybe it’s because I didn’t want you going on a date with some other guy.”

Some other guy. Other. “You mean a guy that isn’t you,” you state flatly. “Except you won’t ask me on a date, so I’ll just say single forever then.”

He raises an eyebrow. “Did you want me to take you on a date?” He smiles, which you mistake for him laughing at you.

“Forget it. I thought we could have an actual adult conversation, but--silly me--I forgot that Eddie Munson doesn’t solve problems; only makes them and runs away.”

Eddie takes a deep breath, puffing out his cheeks. “Low blow there, sweetheart,” he murmurs. “Makin’ it real hard for me to ask you out.”

“Don’t do me any favors,” you shoot back. “And don’t call me sweetheart. I’m not your fuckin’ sweetheart.”

He clicks his tongue behind his teeth. “Favors, huh? You think me asking you out is a favor? Let me tell you, then, why this isn’t me doing you a favor,” he growls. “Y’see, I’ve been wanting to be with you for a long time. Be with you in every sense of the word.” His eyes assess you hungrily. 

“Never allowed myself to do anything past imagining because I didn’t think you felt the same way. But I also couldn’t picture you being with someone else, so when you were, my brain, like, imploded.”

You chew your bottom lip nervously. “So, what did you imagine?”

“Heh. Well, I imagined taking you to that Italian restaurant you keep talking about, drinking some wine, you wearing lookin’ stunning as always.” He’s uncomfortable talking about his feelings, you can see that, but you’re not letting him off easy. Not after he left you stranded at work.

“And then I’d drive you home, walk you to your door, maybe hold your hand or somethin’,” he mutters, pink flooding his cheeks, “and then give you a kiss good night.”

You offer a small smile. “Am I supposed to believe that your fantasies end with a little good-night kiss?” you tease gently, flirtatiously, leaning in closer to him. The scent of cigarette smoke clings to his body, and you realize he was probably chain smoking from the stress.

“You really wanna know?”

You nod. “You could tell me, or...” you swallow, “you could show me.”

With that, Eddie hoists you up, kicking the trailer door shut with his foot. He’s kissing you passionately, your tongues intertwining. His hands squeeze your ass as you work yours through his hair. He moans into your mouth and places you on the counter. He stations himself between your legs, pressing himself against your crotch.

After another long kiss, he pulls away, much to your chagrin. “Did I get my point across?”

You shake your head. “I’m still unsure about your intentions. Need you to be more upfront.” Gathering all your courage, you lift your shirt above your head, exposing your lacy pink bra. “Like that.”

“Holy shit,” Eddie breathes. “Okay. Okay, now I’ll--” he fumbles a bit but removes his own shirt. You take your finger and trace his happy trail to where his boxers peek out above his jeans.

“My turn.” You start to unclasp your bra when he stops you.

“Please, let me,” he begs, eyes widening. “Please.” He reaches behind you to take it off, and you shiver at the intimacy. Your bra drops to the ground and he immediately takes one of your nipples in his mouth, sucking on it and groaning your name. You throw your head back, nearly smacking it on a cupboard.

“Eds,” you whimper, “can we go to your room?” You scoot down off the counter but he doesn’t let your feet touch the ground. 

“Wanna hold you.” He feels like he has to remind himself to breathe, because every thought in his head is just you. He carries you to his bed, laying you down and climbing over so he’s straddling you.

“God, I could just stare at your tits forever,” he says finally. “Thought about ‘em so many times, sweetheart.” His head snaps up. “Wait, can I call you that now?”

You giggle. “Yes, Eddie. You can call me whatever you want, as long as you keep touching me.”

“Good.” He’s relieved; he loves his little pet names for you. He grabs your hips to lift them, unbuttoning your jeans and sliding them down your legs. Your panties are nothing fancy, just a pair of white cotton bikini underwear, but he takes in the sight like you’re a work of art. To him, you are.

Eddie is so stiff, his erection pressing into your thigh. It hurts you, so you know it must be killing him. You loosen his pajama strings and he visibly relaxes from the relief. He can’t get his pants off fast enough, nearly falling off the bed trying.

“We have all night,” you murmur into his neck, kissing and sucking and biting, leaving behind a tiny trail of red bruises as evidence of your presence.

“I’m in no rush, baby. Just wanna touch you all over. Dunno where to start,” he says sheepishly. It’s both sexy and sweet how overwhelmed he is.

“How about you start here,” you suggest mischievously, pressing his hand to you clothed pussy, “and I’ll start here.” You spit into your palm and take his cock out of his pale blue boxers, and he groans.

“O-Okay,” he stutters, falling over his words as he tries to concentrate on rubbing your clit while you pump him. “S’wet for me, Y/N. Barely even touched you.”

“That’s what you do to me,” you whine as he moves his thumb in circles. A bead of precum forms at the top of his dick, and you sit up to lick it off, sending a jolt of electricity through his body.

“C-Can’t tease me like th-that.”

You shrug. “Fine. Won’t touch you at all, then.” You lay back down as he pouts. “We’ll see who caves first.”

Refusing to back down from a challenge, Eddie physically rips your panties down the middle. You don’t even have time to be shocked before he’s plunging his tongue into you.

“Taste even better than in my fantasies,” he moans into you, and you immediately lose your own bet, grabbing a fistful of his hair as he eats you out.

“Eddie,” you buck your hips into him, allowing his tongue to enter you further, “gonna cum,” you choke out before climaxing on his face. 

He licks a stripe over your soaked hole and looks over at you, then his nightstand. “Grab a condom,” he instructs you, then, with a sneer, “or did you go on the pill for your little date?”

“N-no. Just want you, Eddie.” You hand him a foil packet as he tears it open and rolls it over his length.

“All for me, huh?” He pushes himself halfway, eyes meeting yours to ensure you’re comfortable. When you give him a nod and a whimper, he slowly thrusts inside you. The heat of pleasure washes over you, spreading through your tummy.

You need him deeper, so you wrap your legs around his neck. “Holy fuckin’ shit,” he exhales. “Baby, you’re gonna make me cum right now, I swear. Fuck.”

“Do it,” you urge him, half-daring and half-begging. You want to make him feel good, better than anyone’s ever made him feel.

He pumps harder and harder, hitting your g-spot each time until another orgasm courses through your body. You tighten around his cock and he knows his own release is imminent. 

“This is all for you, Y/N. All for you, baby girl,” he punctuates it with a final thrust before cumming, hard.

You lay on his bed, panting. Between the intensity of the orgasm and the person who gave it to you, you’re barely able to catch your breath.

Eddie’s low voice snaps you out of your stupor. “So, uh, we just did that.” He rubs the back of his neck and looks at you with his doe eyes.

“Yeah, we sure did,” you confirm awkwardly. Where did this leave you? Your friendship? Did you just shake hands and part ways? Act like nothing happened?

“I’m not gonna lie,” he starts slowly, “I’m glad we did. But, um, I wanted to wait until after our date. Didn’t want you to think this was just a hook-up or anything.”

Your ears burn, feeling like he could read your thoughts. “You’re really gonna take me out on a date?” It comes out with a little squeal, but you’re too fucked out to care.

Eddie laughs a kind, sweet laugh. “Of course. Want you to be my girl. I don’t want to do life without you, sweetheart.”

“Tell me the time and place, and I’ll be there. But first,” you say, rolling over to stand up, “I owe you a movie night.”

[brainrotmeta]

lol

@occamshipper decided to flood me with responses instead of responding back. So I'll reply here. Mostly I want to talk about the way he argues as opposed to debunking him in general. He's basically a walking, talking fallacy.

occamshipper @brainrotmeta Congratulations. Your entire post was a display of complete lack of reading comprehension and an inevitable test of how many of your followers are equally illiterate that you couldn't differentiate my talk about CBS-WB coproduction of Winchesters from Jared getting his own spinoff. And the rest is you just making whiny emotional appeals so. Go off, I guess? Wave that Stupid Flag with pride!

In my last post with him, I actually addressed a lot of the claims he made. Mostly I focused on his claim that Jared got a prequel deal because he threw a tantrum at CBS. There's no proof of this at all. Instead of dealing the lack of poof, he decided to say I'm stupid and move on.

That's not how you make an argument or even have reasonable discussion.

It's also what people often end up resorting to when they know they've 'lost'. Aaron/Occamshipper does this to me a lot. When they don't have anything against my points, he calls me dumb. When he does have a point against mine, he's generally more reasonable and can refrain from calling me an idiot.

occamshipper @brainrotmeta like jesus christ it takes a special kind of dumb to try (and generally fail) to break that paragraph apart to nitpick and argue it (badly), realize I was talking about SPN, then come to the conclusion I was talking about JARED getting his spinoff, and then expect me to argue with [checks notes] your inability to read or follow the discussion? Yeah, no, Independence has nothing to do with that. Re-read the first paragraph, but slowly, before arguing w/it.

And he does. Aaron just makes up a reality that doesn't exist. He was talking about Jared. I'd say this is a form of gaslighting, but it's so incompetent and divorced from reality, that I sometimes wonder.

occamshipper @brainrotmeta You literally put the brainrot in your username, I can't explain what a perfect dunning-kreuger specimen you are, that you always enter a debate so woefully underequipped you can't even deduce which property I'm talking about about the shared production rights? And go off into looney tunes land connecting "Jared's tantrum got him his own spinoff"? What in the genuine fuck is your data processing disorder.

It's interesting here that Aaron can't even point to where I'm woefully underequipped. He doesn't point to any of my allegedly poor reasoning. It's also really funny he's denying that he implied the loon tunes logic of "Jared's tantrum got him his own spin-off," when that's exactly what he implied here:

And after all, Jared's tantrum whined its way into CBS getting breakout rights (without IP rights, just Jared Rights) to The Winchesters production, so if Jared Wants More Than Just Walker, they can... profit off that in SPN anyway??? while running Zorro??

(x)

Which, to be fair, might not be what he's implying. Who the hell exactly knows. It's incoherent.

occamshipper I AM DECEASED BRAINROT CAN'T TOLERATE THAT I WON'T SHARE HER INABILITY TO READ TO MY BLOG OPENLY AND CAN'T STAND BEING TAGGED POINTING OUT THAT HER ENTIRE ARGUMENT IS BASED ON FUNDAMENTALLY MISREADING EVERYTHING *BEFORE* ARGUING WITH SHIT SHE MISUNDERSTOOD, HELP

I can't tolerate that Aaron won't share my inability to read his blog openly? What does that mean. I can't stand being tagged in ways pointing out my argument is based on a fundamental misreading? Where?

occamshipper @brainrotmeta EXCELLENT WORK

Thank you. :) (/joking btw)

occamshipper What a genuinely dishonest coward it takes to try to block or remove those.

I posted on my main as opposed to my side blog, deleted it on my main blog after reblogging on brainrotmeta. I'm not sure how that accounts for blocking or removing? But this might just be on tumblr, which is a hot mess.

occamshipper RIIIIP lmaooo brainrot is actively hiding if I reply directly under her blog pointing out she literally made a whole assed post based on her inability to read. Like she misread it. Misunderstood it. Then argued with her own misunderstanding.

I did no such thing. I will say I had you blocked on main but I unblocked you for now. I think blocking on main can affect sideblogs, but it hasn't been consistent with me tbh.

occamshipper 10/10, can't do that when I reply under my own blog, @brainrotmeta

I'm just posting this to show I'm posting all of Aaron's responses.

occamshipper The living embodiment of dunning-kreuger, folks. I'm not going to subject you to spamming your dashboards with her arguing with her own inability to read, but I deeply invite you to look at @brainrotmeta's reblog, then laugh, and laugh, because of how bad she misread/misunderstood literally everything.

I think it's funny that he's accusing me of hiding from him, but is deciding not to reblog my points against him. If I'm so easy to argue against, why not do so? If I'm unworthy of your attention, why spam me with these responses?

occamshipper I'm just gonna. Chucklebomb the fuck out of these notes, thank you again for bringing comedy into my life, @brainrotmeta, with you once again illustrating you can't even track what property is being referenced in a given paragraph while trying to argue who said what about what spinoff oh my fuck holy shit.

It's also interesting he's deflecting from my major point. We've been having a back and forth on twitter about how the issues he's talking about aren't about Jared or a J2 competition with each other and then turns around not much later and makes a post about how much of manbaby Jared is and declares to the world that Jensen is way ahead of Jared in prequel development. That is attacking Jared and the premise of your Jensen is way ahead of Jared hot takes is based on competition.

They might have made more responses since I posted this, idk.

[thebreakfastgenie]

I watched AfterMASH 1.03

These are my thoughts.

Note: the pilot is 1 hour and appears to count as 1.01 and 1.02.

I watched this a little while ago but it took me until now to post because of the sheer rage. Ken Levine and David Isaacs wrote this one. MASH alumni (former head writers) who I generally respect. They wrote some of my favorite episodes of MASH.

I'm going to fucking kill them.

Let me address everything else first, then we'll get to why.

First, I really hope Mulcahy starts getting some real storylines soon. The annoying paperwork gag isn't much to work with, though seeing him spending time with patients was nice. I did like the administrator guy whose name I already forgot again realizing Francis isn't such a doormat after all.

I continue to really like the resident, which I wasn't expecting! He's well-meaning but kind of an idiot and he can learn a lot from Potter and even from Klinger. I love that they have a good relationship.

The Nazi patient storyline... boy. I'm not sure what to make of it. Ken Levine is Jewish, and I suspect David Isaacs is too, but wikipedia doesn't say (Ken has mentioned his Judaism many times on his blog). So that does change my perspective on the choice to do that storyline at all. It's not necessarily wrong it just feels a bit weird to watch.

Now onto Klinger and why I'm going to commit a double homicide. I loved seeing Klinger do favors for a patient just because, and the implication that it's a regular thing. The patient turning out to be racist was a punch that felt very classically MASH. And Max standing up for Soon Lee was excellent and I loved seeing her reaction, Rosalind Chao is seriously so talented. But that's somehow supposed to resolve the main conflict that I'm so pissed about and it really doesn't. Soon Lee wanting to bring her family over is a great storyline. There is a lot of potential there, especially with Max wanting to help her but not really being in a position to do it. But Max telling Soon Lee she can't get a job?? Not my Max Klinger!!

I was prepared to let this go, because I thought maybe Max's family had some sort of thing about striving to be financially stable enough that the women didn't have to work and how that dream, however misguided, could be important to am immigrant family. But then he went on to say none of the women in his family ever worked.

Excuse you me??? His poor, immigrant family in Toledo????? Max's age is a little fuzzy but he was probably born during the Great Depression. Hello??? There is simply no way in hell the Klinger women were homemakers. I don't believe it. So any acceptance I had toward Max's period-typical sexism just evaporated.

And then on top of that he tells Potter maybe marrying Soon Lee was a mistake and looks at that secretary?? After everything they've been through?? I could accept some version of expressing doubt in himself, but the way the scene plays, that he's just ready to throw in the towel?? Absolutely not. Disrespectful garbage.

The Levine & Isaacs dialogue is good. Klinger's line about putting on a dress again is so-so characterization but I thought it sounded snappy. Just makes it extra frustrating that the storyline is so damn bad.

References to other MASH characters: none

[fishstickfeind]

(Tw vent)

A blog that I once followed asked me to delete something, and I was like, "yeah when [x] happens."

Then, when I forgot to delete it, I was blocked. Their url is kachowbish or something like that. I was a minor cars fan at the time. I loved reblogging their cars content...

I refollowed on my sideblog only to be blocked, again.

I realized how much of an idiot I am and I just really want to feel ashamed of myself rather than happy.

*cries in idiot*

I realize also how much I hate myself. I want to cry... man I'm a big idiot...

To kachowbish, who blocked me: I hope you solved that mean anon problem.

-Dizzy, 10/24/22

Hey, woah, ease up on yourself! Now, I don’t know what the post was about that they asked you to delete, but I can see both sides being ‘in the right’ here. I think this is a very situational thing, truthfully! It’s why I have tags for my nsfw posts and such.

Like let’s say for example someone came up to me and asked me to stop posting about simping over cars because it made them uncomfortable, I completely understand and respect their boundaries by all means, but simping over cars is a big part of me and a main reason of why I made this blog to begin with, so I probably wouldn’t stop simping over them, but just add a tag they could block or such. I entirely respect their comfort zone and understand it, and I will make ways to accommodate it best I can especially if it’s someone I might care about, but I’m not going to stop doing such things.

Now like I said, this is a very situational thing, I don’t know what happened so I can’t really give much weight on the situation here, but I am sorry that happened, I can imagine it stings being blocked by someone who might’ve put stuff out that you enjoyed.

You aren’t an idiot! We all have are moments but that doesn’t make you dumb or mean you should shame yourself! Things happen, and life in a form is just a big story about learning about things that happen and how to handle it! It’s okay to cry and get you’re feelins out, but by all means you are no idiot!! You’re an incredible person, truly!

[pilmik]

No better way to start a writing blog than by writing something completely self indulgent lmao college students this might hit too close to home but in my defense the new sem started and I'm. Mess

Gen: angst ig???some fluff? hurt/comfort? Quite literally just me writing what I want to hear

CW: insecurities, negative thoughts

Wakatoshi loves volleyball

Everyone knows this

Ever since he was little, he's lived and breathed for the sport

There's nothing better to him than the feeling of the ball hitting his hand, the adrenaline rush of a scored point, the satisfaction of a game well won

He didn't get this far on enjoyment alone though

As his s/o, you know this better than anyone, save for his coaches and teammates of course

You know the effort he's put in, you know that for every second he shines on the court in front he's spent hours practicing alone or with his teammates

And he shines on the court

Watching him play will never fail to make your heart stutter and your lungs feel like they're not getting enough air

After being with him as long as you have, you know enough about volleyball to know that Wakatoshi is something special

His speed, his strength, his reliability

No matter how many times you see that spike, the sound of the ball hitting the floor stays deafening

Wakatoshi was made to play Volleyball. It's an objective fact. Sometimes you think that the sport loves him just as much as he loves it

Sometimes, you get so jealous you could scream

one of the perks of being the volleyball captain's s/o is that you always get the best seats

You watch front row as your boyfriend leads his team to victory, and he always leads them to victory.

You watch, time and time again, as he scores the match point, that sharp wham of the ball hitting the court that sings triumph

Wakatoshi isn't the most expressive person. When his team wins a game, most people would write off his impassive face as nonchalance or as vanity, thinking maybe he's won so many times it doesn't feel like anything for him anymore

But you know him. You know that if you look hard enough at the end of a game, you can see a gleam in his eyes. A gleam that somehow means both satisfaction and hunger

Because while at the end of every game means victory, the end of every game also means the start of a new one, a new challenge, a new opportunity to be on the court. He loves every second of it

You know you're probably the worst person on the world for feeling this way about someone you love, but every time you see that gleam in his eyes, any pride and happiness you feel on his behalf is stained with resentment and an envy so bitter it stays on your tongue for days

You've never had that gleam in your eyes. You've never loved something so entirely, so completely as Wakatoshi loves volleyball

You honestly doubt you ever will

It's not like you're talentless or you don't have hobbies, you have the things you're good at and you have the things you like to do but it's not the same

You want so desperately to know what he feels like, to be doing something and to think, I could do this for the rest of my life and die happy

on your worst days, you wonder why he stays by your side at all

You watch him play, surrounded by his court and his team (no the court or the team, his.) And you wonder what he could get from you that he couldn't get from the sting of the ball on his palm, or the squeak of his shoes on hardwood

He's brilliant, wherever he goes be burns so brightly you swear he leaves scorch marks. What could a forest fire possibly want from a candle?

You watch them play a game against some college team, they win straight sets and Wakatoshi dominated the court, scoring a majority of the points. you're quiet on your way home, and he asks if you were bored by the game

You immediately tell him no, because on most days you love seeing him play, and you try and explain how you feel

He doesn't understand what you're talking about, obviously

Contrary to what most people think, your boyfriend isn't stupid or dense. He has trouble understanding different social cues and conceptualizing some of the more complicated emotions other people feel, but he's not an idiot

But these specific insecurities are something he's never had to face. For him, it's been volleyball since the start. His earliest memories are of his father in the yard, tossing a blue and yellow ball into the air while he sits on the engawa, chubby hands holding tight to a pink vabo-chan plush

It doesn't make sense to him, if you don't have anything like that, then all you need to do is find something you're good at, correct? Then you'll be happy

He tells you this, in his usual matter-of-fact way. (you can imagine how that went)

He doesn't understand why your eyes go glassy, or why you tell him you'll be fine walking by yourself for the rest of the way

But he does understand that he's made you upset, and he knows that he never wants to look into your eyes and see tears that he's put there

As he walks back to his dorm, he's wracking his brain trying to make sense of how you told him you felt, and what he said in response

He's still thinking as he enters the doorway, ignoring Tendou's greeting as he neatly removes his runners and puts them away

This, of course, alerts his redheaded friend, knowing Wakatoshi was taught to mind his manners

He leaves whatever he was doing to see him at the entrance, taking in his pinched expression. He knows that Wakatoshi walks you home after every game, and it doesn't take a genius to connect the dots

He quickly presses the pad of his thumb between Wakatoshi's furrowed eyebrows, smoothing the lines there

"trouble in paradise, Wakatoshi-kun? You can't keep frowning like that you know, you'll get wrinkles! Everyone already thinks you're an old man"

Wakatoshi trusts his best friend, even if he teases him constantly. Besides you, Tendou is his main confidant

He explains what happened much like someone would explain a mission report, in perfect unbiased detail. He tell him what you said, how he thought and responded and your reaction. Tendou is always patient with him, giving him his full attention.

After he finishes his story, his friend sits on his haunches in the middle of the hallway for a few minutes, pointer finger to his chin, head cocked and eyes to the ceiling, hmmmmmming thoughtfully

Wakatoshi waits at the entrance of their dorm room until Tendou snaps his eyes away from the ceiling and onto him

"Wakatoshi kun, I'm going to need you to imagine something for me"

His eyebrows pinch together again, but he nods

"Imagine you never played volleyball, you're exactly the same in every way, except your dad never showed you so you never learned how to play. Try and imagine who you'd be"

Wakatoshi tries his best to imagine, he replaces the blue and yellow ball in his memory with a red one, the bouncy kind they sell in bins at the grocery store. He replaces vabo-chan with some kind of stuffed animal wearing a bow

He thinks about school, about going straight home after class is over, and going to the gym only on weekends

He finds he's skipping parts of his life in large gaps, empty spaces he doesn't know what to do with, his future completely blank. It's terrifying.

Tendou must see the dawning horror on his face because he jumps up quickly with a flourish, clapping his hands together once to draw Wakatoshi out of his daydream

Tendou looks at him, smiling and says "y/n-chan doesn't have their volleyball. Most people aren't as lucky as you, finding your volleyball so early Wakatoshi-kun. Some people never find their's at all"

He stands at the entrance quietly for awhile after Tendou returns to his room, thinking about how scary it felt to imagine, even for a few minutes, his life full of the blanks that his sport filled

He wonders how it would be like to have those blanks empty all the time, with not even a clue how to complete them

Swallowing his pride, Wakatoshi realizes he wouldn't be able to live like that. Wouldn't be able to go forward into such unknowable territory, under such impossible odds

He thinks about you waking up every day, seeing your life full of blanks, and still pushing forwards despite it

He doesn't get much sleep that night.

You wake up in the morning to Wakatoshi's text ringtone

7:10am Toshi <3: Call in sick for first period.

7:10am Toshi <3: I am going to pick you up at 8.

7:13am Toshi <3: I will bring you breakfast.

7:27am Toshi <3: Wear a light jacket, it's chilly.

The half of you that's still hurt over yesterday wants to tell him to shove breakfast up his ass, but then you realise something

You stare at your phone, deeply confused

Doesn't he have volleyball practice before school?

You get ready quickly, and sure enough, when you walk out of your door at exactly 8:00, Wakatoshi is there.

He's wearing his tracksuit and runners, and he hands you a paper bag from the conbini. There's an apple, a bag of grapes and onigiri. In his other hand he's holding a warm drink, written on the lid is your favourite, exactly how you like it

"I am taking you to the park."

You tilt your head up at him, confused

"don't you have volleyball practice?"

"I'm skipping. We are going to feed the ducks."

The idea of Ushijima Wakatoshi skipping volleyball practice stuns you into silence, and you simply follow his lead to the direction of the park, you walking and him doing some sort of ridiculous exercise thing that looks like it'd make you puke

When you get there, you're happy to find that your usual bench is empty.

Wakatoshi pulls a water bottle out of his ridiculously-deep men's tracksuit pockets while you take the bunch of grapes out of the bag, neatly dividing it in half. You decide to take the big half of the grape bunch for once, because he was being a jerk yesterday and you deserve to feed the ducks more than he does. You give him his half and you both start feeding the ducks in silence

After awhile, he decides to speak

"Tendou made me imagine something yesterday"

You turn to face him, but he's still looking at the ducks

"he told me to imagine my life if I'd never played volleyball"

He frowns

"he said to imagine everything about me was the same, except I never started playing. I found that it was difficult"

"there were many things I found I couldn't fill in, both in my life and in myself"

"but the worst part was imagining the future. I couldn't imagine a single thing to put in it"

"I wouldn't be able to live like that. To live every day and see blank spaces and uncertainties. It sounds terrible"

He pauses for a moment and you're like :/ wow king thanks for the pep talk

But he takes a deep breath and he continues

"I think, for a person to face that uncertainty and keep pushing forward, they would have to be exceptional"

Your head snaps to look at him so fast you almost get whiplash

Exceptional

There's a word that you've never used to describe yourself

"I think, that if I knew someone like that, I would tell them that they are strong in a way that I doubt I will ever be"

He finally turns to look at you, and you try your best to see him through the tears distorting your vision

"after awhile of thinking, I finally thought of something that I could put in that blank future. Would you like to know what it was?"

You just nod, not trusting your words. His big hands gently engulf your own and for a moment you're absolutely certain Ushijima Wakatoshi will be the death of you

"if I didn't have Volleyball, if I didn't have a single clue of what I could do with my future, if I still had you by my side, I think I would be alright"

One hit K.O.

He keeps going though, as if he didn't just kill you

"if you would have me, I'd like to be in your blank future. For as long as it takes for you to find your volleyball, I'll be there. If it's months or years or decades,"

"if decades pass and you never find your volleyball, I would still like to stay by your side. Maybe your volleyball is looking for volleyball?"

His face contorts in consideration of the idea, and you can't help but laugh wetly, your tears soaking into his jacket as you bury your face into his arm

He presses a soft kiss to your head

"I apologize for what I said last night. I didn't understand"

You only shake your head

You two sit in companionable silence for a little longer so you can eat your breakfast, then you both walk to second period hand in hand

It's only in the boredom of your math class that you realize the gravity of what your boyfriend had said to you in the park

11:08 you: Tendou

11:08 you: was I tripping

11:08 you: or did Wakatoshi /propose/ to me in the park today

Tendou is typing......

A/N: I've never posted this kind of stuff before so comments would really be appreciated! Like if there's something I could do to make my stuff easier to read or whatever I wanna hear it! Even if it's mean I promise I'll only cry a little

[tinyboxxtink]

"Not My Yacht" *Chapter 1?*

So this is interesting:

So "Not My Yacht" was my very first fic. Like, I'm talking VERY VERY first.

So when I started asking around about ideas for a new series, a few of my lovelies went through my one shots and this story and "Doodling" got some good votes.

So, I decided to include the one shot and just added to it for a POTENTIAL new series. We'll see how this chapter goes over.

Also I'll be including Rita Calhoun in this for the FIRST time ever, so I may need assistance from @storiesofsvu to get her voice right. I did my best here. I'll be honest I've never really watched her, just that one where that guy blackmailed her or something.

Also Also, if it wasn't obvious enough this is obviously the beginning of the SVU episode "Her Negations".

I don't want to give anything away because I haven't even really thought that far, but I'm 95% sure this is going to turn in a William Lewis situation fic. So...pretty dark. I'm just warning you NOW.

Tag List

@madamsnape921

@lolliepopsicle

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@milkshqke

@wanniiieeee

@word-scribbless

@gibbs274

@sassyada

@aprildecker-blog

@bookishfanfic

@stars-in-the-skies-world

@stars-trash-18

@omgsuperstarg

@objection-argumentative

And yes, the results are in. There is a part 2!

You breathed in the salty air of the sea of the sunny South Hampton shore; It was a beautiful day for a yacht party.

You walked along the pier as you got closer to your boss’s boat: The Crime Wave. Her husband’s idea of a funny name she claimed as she had invited people from the office to this soiree. You were lucky to even get an invite, just being the assistant to the owner of the law firm. “Who else is going to help me dodge boring conversations with men who just wanted a "free ride” on the bosses boat?“ She had teased you; or at least you hoped she was kidding.

You really wanted to just relax and mingle among the elite lawyers of NYC, seeing as you wanted to be one of them someday.

You saw your boss, Rita Calhoun waving you down as you reached the dock space.

"Ah! There you are, for a minute I thought I’d have to mix my own drinks!” She laughed with a wink. You laugh nervously, unable to discern if she was kidding.

“Calm down sweetie, I’m a big girl. Besides, I like to make them myself, strong,” she laughed again, patting your shoulder. Crap had your face looked that panicked? Keep it cool!

“Go ahead, enjoy yourself. I’ll be here, making sure none of those damn punks tries to sneak on here for free booze,” she scoffed, nodding to a group of highly dressed teens playing chicken on the shoreline.

You nodded with a half laugh, stepping onto the yacht. It was a decent size, a second level deck and a very spacious main level. Not a lot of people had arrived yet, so you decided to pick a spot on the yachts back bench area before all the seating was taken. You began removing your over clothes revealing your swimming wear when you hear Rita greet someone else.

“Ah, Barba. You know we have flare guns on board,”

You turn to see the ADA of New York, Rafael Barba. He’s dressed in a windbreaker and what could be either a dark red or salmon polo. You realize Mrs. Calhoun is referring to the almost neon yellow color of the windbreaker, and you can’t help but giggle. It must have been way too loud because they both turn to you which caused you to immediately shut up and go back to undressing and laying out your towel, but ever so slightly still honed in on the conversation.

“You can never be too careful Rita, who knows how many enemies I’ve made in this town; someone might throw me over,” he smirked.

“And anyone here could make it look like a very convincing accident….even my aspiring protege over there,” Rita nods over to you, knowing full well what you were doing.

Barba turned and looked at you, your body frozen in mid towel thrust. You didn’t know whether to throw it over yourself or just run off the boat right there.

“I know it’s an awful jacket dear, you don’t have to keep staring at him.” She called over to you. God why did she have to be so….her.

“Jesus Rita give the girl a break, or did you invite her just to torture her on unbillable hours?” Barba scoffed with a half smile, walking over to you.

“Is it really worth the minimum wage to put up with her?” He asked.

“Mmm…it’s more for the experience, honestly.” You replied surprisingly smoothly.

“Oh….well I mean I could give you the experience without–” He started but was interrupted by your boss’s loud exclaiming.

“Yeah I’ll BET you’d give her experience Barba! Stop hitting on my intern and mingle with the adults.”

If you could dig a hole straight through the boat into the ocean you would do it right then and there.

“…..Without THAT.” He rolled his eyes, lightly flipping her the bird behind his back. You see her respond with a laugh then turns her attention back to the guests boarding.

“She’s probably been drinking since she got on the boat, yeah?” He asked you.

“I…I don’t know I just got here….” You managed to squeak out as your towel strayed from your hands. Barba grabbed it and helped you reposition it on the bench.

“Kinda windy for a yacht party, but Rita will take any chance to celebrate anything remotely resembling a boost to her ego. Am I right?” He chuckled, before sitting down on your towel.

“Just to keep it from blowing away, do you mind?” He asked, gesturing for you to join him. You nodded a boisterous “NO”, plopping next to him on the bench.

“I’m Rafael Barba,” he extended his hand to you, which you took and shook gently, praying to God he didn’t notice you were literally shaking. You had probably had the biggest crush on him since you started working with Mrs. Calhoun, he was constantly in her office challenging her with warrants and favors.

“Oh yeah I know,” you blurted out, mentally facepalming immediately.

“I see….” He raised an eyebrow. “And you are….?”

You were about to answer when his phone went off. He answered it putting one finger up and mouthing the words “one second.”

“Barba. Yeah….what? Seriously, Olivia? On a Sunday?!” He groaned into his phone with an exaggerated eye roll. He raised his hand and ran it over his face begrudgingly as he talked.

“Yeah….alright, fine. Yeah I’ll be there, give me an hour. I’m in the Hamptons. Because it’s my day off, Liv! Do you think I lock myself in my office over the weekends like a vampire in a coffin? Yeah…I’m sorry, I just…” He glanced at you.

“I was enjoying my Sunday.” He gave you a small sad smile.

“Yeah. Ok. See you soon.” He hung up the phone with an exasperated sigh.

“I’m sorry, I gotta go back to the city. Don’t let Rita push you around too much, okay?” He chuckled, rubbing the top of your head like a puppy. You felt your face scrunch up in annoyance, seriously? He thought of you as a kid?!

He obviously noticed, and quickly held out his hand again very sternly.

“Sorry, future counselor.” He said in an overly serious tone, and you couldn’t stop yourself from giggling. Again. Like an idiot.

Relieved he had fixed his faux paux, he gave you one last beautiful Barba grin as he jogged over to Rita and told her something before nodding to you once again, then walked off the boat and disappearing down the pier.

Your boss sauntered over to you, a shit eating grin across her face.

“Well Cinderella, you sure kept that cool.” She gestured for your phone beside you.

“Be sure to tell him your name this time,” she winked, handing it back to you. You glanced down at it as she walked away; she had added a number to your contacts.

“BHole Barba.” You laughed out loud. Nice. Maybe she wasn’t such a horrible boss after all….

--------------

By Monday you still hadn’t had the balls to text Rafael Barba. You had just stared at the number in your phone, imagining all the possibilities contacting him would lead to. You may have gotten so far as planning your summer wedding in the Hamptons, but nobody needed to know that.

But you had chickened out and left it alone, and now you were sitting at your desk typing up a memo for Rita when you saw him come waltzing through the door.

“Ah, Cinderella!” He smiled at you.

“Hey…” Your mind went blank, you couldn’t think of words. Wait, had he already given you a nickname?

“Cinderella?” You blinked in confusion.

“Well I never caught your name-- But I guess I shouldn’t even push it, you’ve clearly moved on and I must seem like a creep,” His train of thought proceeded out loud as he realized you hadn’t taken his number and here he was still flirting with you. Rita had given it to you, he had seen her type it in your phone. Obviously you weren’t interested, why was he pushing this?

“What? NO!” You said a little louder than you intended, actually a lot louder than you intended. You slapped your hand over your mouth after your little outburst, but to you relief he was still smiling.

“Oh? Well I suppose that’s good…” He was obviously fishing for your excuse as to why you had waited until he popped back in your face to talk to him.

“No, I um--” You racked your brain for an excuse that wasn’t “I was busy planning our lives together”.

“I….couldn’t think of something interesting to say,” You finally admitted with a pitiful sigh. You were not a good liar, and under pressure, forget about it.

Again, he still smiled-- but this time he laughed along with it.

“I mean, ‘Hello’ is always an option,” He chuckled. “Or...your name?”

“Oh!” Idiot. You hadn’t even given him your name, how was he supposed to fall madly in love with you without a name?

“Y/N,” You stuck your hand out awkwardly, Was this a ‘shake hands’ moment? Hadn’t you already met before? You stared at your hand as you moved it slightly back and forth, arguing with yourself whether or not this was necessary. Luckily, Rafael settled the argument by taking your hand and shaking it firmly.

His hands were so soft, his long fingers enveloped yours in them. You lost yourself in the moment, and before you knew it he was making an uncomfortable cough, snapping you back to reality. You dropped his hand and snapped yours back into your body like a zip cord, your face in a horrified stare.

“Oh God, I’m so sorry, that was so weird. I’m weird. I’m--”

“Well I don’t know what you were so worried about Cinderella, you’re clearly a chatterbox,” He gave you a tongued smile, referring to the word vomit you just couldn’t help spill all over him.

“Oh yeah, I’m a total word machine,” You laughed nervously. A word machine? What the fuck was that?

“...Word machine. Right,” He nodded in amusement. “Well word machine, would you mind shooting some words to my phone, or do you just enjoy this face to face thing?”

“With that face? Definitely the latter. But you can have my number anyway,” You typed a quick message and sent it to his number. Damn that was smooth! How did you do that?

Rafael made an impressed face with your line, but when he opened his phone his brows furrowed.

“Hit?” He gave you a curious look as he read the text out loud.

“Fuck it was supposed to be ‘hi’-- stupid autocorrect,” You muttered angrily. Yeah, that was more like you.

“Oh yes, the dreaded autocorrect,” He nodded while saving your number. “Turning fucks into ducks since 2011,”

“Oh I didn’t have a phone in 7th grade but I’ll take your word for it,” You laughed, but stopped when his face twisted into a mix of horror and discomfort when he realized how young you actually were.

Dammit. Why...why would you do this?

“....Right, is Rita in?” He quickly shoved his phone back in his pocket and headed into Rita’s office before you could answer.

“...Idiot!” You yelled at yourself as your hands went over your face and your face planted into your desk.

Well, that was nice while it lasted. All 2.5 seconds of it.

-----------------

“Well Barba, about time,” Rita smirked as Rafael abruptly burst into her office trying to get away from you. “Done flirting with the intern are we?”

“Shut up,” He rolled his eyes, though his face was a deep shade of red.

“Oh no, what happened? Did your dentures fall out in front of her?” She smirked.

“I’m younger than you!!” He scoffed.

“Yeah but I’m not the one trying to boff a 25 year old,” She smirked harder, making Rafael angrier.

“Can I just get the warrant I came here for, Rita?” He huffed.

“Oooh, struck a nerve there, did I?” Rita chuckled as she grabbed some papers from her desk and started to hand them to him. “Barba, for the record I’m really not judging you. If I were 20 years younger, I’d hit it too,”

“Excuse me?”

“I had a lot of ‘cats’ in college,” She winked.

“Wow,” Rafael held up his hands. “Rita, we really don’t need to be that personal.”

“Fine, but all I’m saying is if you like the girl, don’t let a stupid thing like age deter you. Don’t tell her I said this, but she’s actually very competent and organized. I would almost prefer her not to graduate, unless she'd come work for me. She’s going to be a hell of a lawyer,” She gestured outside to your desk.

Rafael looked at the ground as he mulled over what she was saying, a small smile crawled across his lips as she complimented your potential.

“I’ll take that under advisement, Mrs. Calhoun,” He nodded as he walked towards the door with the papers in his hand, a huge smile across his face now.

He walked out to find you cursing at yourself and whimpering in embarrassment at your desk. When you heard the door shut you snapped to attention and stared at him, shocked he hadn't sprinted out of the office like Usain Bolt. Even more shocking was that Cheshire cat grin now upon his face.

“I-I’m sorry, I totally meant I was--” You tried doing math trying to make yourself reasonably older.

“It’s fine,” He chuckled as he put a hand over your counting fingers. You blushed at the touch of his skin on yours again, but quickly shoved your hands under the desk nervously as you tried not to look him square in the eye. His eyes were so gorgeous you were positive staring straight into them would actually get you pregnant.

“So does Rita ever unchain you from this desk?” He smirked as he was now very aware and very amused at how nervous he made you. He may be old, but clearly he’s still got it.

“Oh yeah, if I ask very nicely she let’s me--” You tried to think of something witty, but it wasn’t coming with him staring at you with those eyes. “....Yes,” You wanted to put your hands over your face but you didn’t want it to be a ‘thing’.

“Well, maybe if you’re an extra good girl she’ll let you off your leash early tonight,” He winked.

“....Am I a dog or a toddler in that situation?” You were genuinely asking, but Rafael clearly realized how insulting that must have seemed.

“Oh no no no, I just, shit,” He tried to backtrack but if he was being totally honest, you made him nervous. Maybe he didn’t have ‘it’ as much as he thought.

You noticed he was the one blushing now, oh my god were you making him nervous? QUICK, BE SMOOTH. BE SMOOTHER THAN YOU’VE EVER BEEN IN YOUR LIFE.

“Are you asking me out, counselor?” You did your best “sultry “voice with a bat of your eyes. Were you batting them too much? What was too much? Oh god you’ve done it for too long now. STOP BATTING.

“...I don’t know, guess you’ll have to wait for me to text you, future counselor,” He was impressed by the line, and decided to bow out before either of you made idiots of yourselves again. He gave you a wink and sauntered out of the office.

Great. Now he’ll probably make you wait two days for a--

*BEEP*

Your phone went off in your desk. You pulled it out to see a text message:

BHOLE BARBA: Dinner? Tonight?

You really needed to change his contact name. But that wasn’t the point right now. He just asked you out. Rafael Barba just asked you out. You stared at in your hands, unsure of what to do. Then you realized you couldn’t do this again, you couldn’t just sit there and imagine things, this required an immediate response.

You nervously typed a reply and hit SEND:

Sire ;)

“DAMMIT!!!” You cursed your autocorrect. You instantly sent another text.

Sure***

Before you could lecture yourself again, your phone beeped again:

BHOLE BARBA: Play

Play? What did that--

BHOLE: Okay** ;)

You typed the word ‘okay’ into your text reply bubble, ‘play’ came up in the autocorrect word list.

He was joking with you. He was flirting with you. RAFAEL BARBA WAS FLIRTING WITH YOU.

This work day could not end fast enough.

[broimjustagirl]

My Rant About Siege and Storm (Spoilers)

(Re-posts/re-blogs are allowed)

*please don't hurt me, I promise I am actually a decent and kind person in real life*

DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU HAVE NOT FINISHED READING 'SIEGE AND STORM'. CONTROVERSIAL OPINIONS INCLUDED, NOT INTENDED TO HURT ANYONE, DO NOT HATE IF YOU DO NOT AGREE WITH ME. THESE ARE JUST PERSONAL OPINIONS. (Book 2 of the Shadow and Bone Trilogy) If you do, do not blame me for spoiling the book. If you have only watched the TV show, you might want to skip this as well, anyways, *cough*, let me begin!

FIRST OF ALL; the beginning from around the start to page 300-ish was literally so boring. Except for Nikolai of course, Nikolai is king. Also, I am not anti-Malina, but come on, some of the scenes made me cringe so hard. You got to admit, some of the Malina scenes were cringy and unoriginal.

Also, why was Mal so insecure about his relationship with Alina? Why doesn't he trust Alina enough to know that she would never cheat on him with Nikolai? (though if I were her, I would 100% choose Nikolai, not gonna lie) Mal obviously feels threatened by Nikolai (why wouldn't he? Not to hate on him) even though Mal and Nikolai's alter persona Sturmhond were literally friends. Mal obviously doesn't trust Alina, which to me is a red flag.

ANOTHER RED FLAG (in my opinion, don't hate) was the fact that he started drinking SO BADLY and STARTED SEEING ZOYA, though I have to admit that he and Alina weren't really a thing at that point, but still.

Alina has also really started to annoy me, starting at the point when she threatened Zoya. Yes, Zoya was rude to her, but why don't you believe Zoya when she said that she lost LITERAL FAMILY because of the Darkling. Why did Alina question her? She could see that Zoya was about to cry, but still decided to throw her off. I sided with Mal when he said that Alina was threatening Zoya and SHE LIKED IT. THE FRICK ALINA?

Alina is powerful, and a great main character, but she's starting to be arrogant. Seriously. (I know I was pretty arrogant as a kid, hell, I thought I was smart when I was 9 because I knew what the word 'vital' meant) But it was obvious that Zoya was super hurt, and though Alina did regret some things she said, why didn't she feel a lot empathy for her, even if Zoya was rude to me, I wouldn't continue to threaten her to leave the only home she has left. Losing family is super painful, and though I'm rude sometimes, I would never be rude someone who had just lost an aunt and a niece in a betrayal of someone she trusted (AKA the toxic Darkling, I LIKED YOU, BUT YOU CROSSED THE LINE DUDE)

Anyway, after those 300 boring pages of the Darkling teleporting like a superhero and being a legit stalker (Except for Nikolai, I love you Nikolai) THE DARKLING FREAKING ATTACKS THE LITTLE PALACE (Yes, I read spoilers about this. Yes, I was still surprised. Yes, I feel the same as when I read the Hunger Games for the first time, it's that painful)

BUT THE THING THAT ANNOYED ME THE MOST WAS WHEN ALINA WAS ALL LIKE:

'oooh Mal, i love you so much, i've always loved, *kiss here*, *kiss your jawline like a weirdo*, i kiss this, i kiss that. i've loved you forever'

AND THEN SHE'S LIKE:

'ooh darkling, let me kiss you and play with your hair, yasssssss. you're my king aleksander.' (WAIT A MINUTE, I'M CONTINUING TO READ THAT PAGE BECAUSE I PUT IT DOWN AFTER SHE KISSED THE DARKLING TO CALM MYSELF, AND WHAT THE FRICK IS HAPPENING. WHY IS THIS BOOK SO CONFUSING)

BUT DAVID HELPING GENYA WAS SO FREAKING SWEET. GENYA IS A LITERAL QUEEN.

I guess I have a problem with literally hating every single main character (Except Percy Jackson, perhaps I'm biased because PJO was the first fandom I was ever part of) like Katniss (She's a little negative and pessimistic no offense) and many protagonists from lesser-known novels. BUT ALINA, YOU GET ON MY NERVES. No offense once again. I can't name all the times she annoyed me, but trust me, there are lots.

AND YES, I STARTED GASPING WHEN NIKOLAI AND ZOYA HAD THEIR FIRST INTERACTION. YES, I KNOW ABOUT ZOYALAI EVEN THOUGH I HAVEN'T EVEN READ RULE OF WOLVES YET. I haven't even read up to the part where Zoyalai is canon, but I've read enough of Nikolai's Grishaverse Fandom Page to know that Zoyalai is literally perfect. Come one, sort of a reckless little idiot and a stern-minded ambitious queen, PERFECT MATCH. OH MY GODS, I'M FANGIRLING OVER A THING I HAVEN'T EVEN READ THAT MUCH OF.

I think Zoya was saying something and Nikolai said something to her during a war meeting and IT WAS SO EXCITING FOR ME EVEN THOUGH THAT WAS THE ONLY INTERACTION THEY HAVE. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

But whenever the Grishaverse fandom mentions how toxic the Darkling is (I've just realized after reading Siege and Storm and watching the SAB TV show) they're just like:

'Mal is boring and has no personality'. GURL, THAT'S TRUE AT SOME POINTS, MAL INFURIATES ME MOST OF THE TIME, I did ship Darklina at some point, but come on, it's still pretty toxic, but it was good for a short-term relationship, but long-term....eh, nope. I've come to the point where I have to accept the fact that everyone has different opinions, so if you ship Darklina, ship it. But also realize that the Darkling was super toxic, especially when he killed the innocent people of Novokribirsk. Otherwise, I'll read some Darklina wattpad fan-fics on Wattpad. It's nice to be neutral.

Anyways, I've suddenly realized that people are getting bored of my rant because this is so freaking long, thank you for baring with me. I await the toxic and hate comments for my controversial opinions

Countess of Cats

Inferni - OUT!

[pinespittinink]

Hi! I love your blog! This is for the OC ask game (my writeblr is @italiangothicwriteblr by the way)

I'll do my favorite human disaster, Enrico Accursio, for this, because I'm just getting to the part of the story where he shows up and I love him.

I apologize in advance, I am going to ramble. (I'll put the rest of it under read more so I don't clog your ask box)

So, Enrico started off having a really good life. He had a tight-knit group of friends, married one of the smartest, most attractive men in the country- life was great!

His friend Leandro becomes Imperatore (king) of their continent, Circi, and their whole group of five moves to the palace with him. Enrico's husband Niccolo is Leandro's second in command, and for a decade the squad runs the country pretty well and everyone is having a really good time.

Until Enrico accidentally started a war.

So, one day Enrico got left in charge at the palace while Leandro, Niccolo and their friend Giuseppe went on a day trip to handle something in another town. This was a gigantic mistake.

Enrico has absolutely no filter, and it is really easy to get him to tell you anything you want to know if you catch him off guard.

An enemy commander sent in one of his friends to get some information out of him while everyone else was away, and it worked like a charm.

Before Enrico even really understands what he did, armies are storming the gates, and he runs away.

In the aftermath, Leandro is deposed and murdered, Niccolo and Giuseppe escape to the country, and Enrico's best friend Arnoldo is executed by the new king.

The new king only took over half the continent, and decides he wants Enrico to rule the other half (he broke it, he bought it.)

Enrico spends the first two years of his reign having booze for breakfast and running the country into the ground because of how guilty he feels.

Eventually, Niccolo and Giuseppe show back up, and realize that he didn't betray them on purpose like they'd thought, and that he's hurting too.

The next few decades are better, and the saddest part is that the whole thing is just a prologue to the main story of the WIP.

Oooh, so much, don’t apologize at all! 😊 I love some good backstory set up~ political plot is really hard for me so I’ve got a lot of respect for people who do it.

There are two ocs from my high fantasy Solene’s Verse who I think would get along with Enrico and sympathize with him especially; Eaves and Carmine. Eaves is working class guy doing his best to take care of his siblings and his found family-- good-natured, humble, very staunch and resolute. He’d be more the person to try to buoy Enrico up to help him get his shit together. Carmine meanwhile is royalty from a different kingdom, very socially savvy and incredibly courteous. He’d be Super Alarmed! by everything happening ahaha but he’d also be very concerned and doing what he could to help Enrico out and try to make him feel better :((

Titus, the leading man in my new fantasy wip, In the Deep of the Trees, would think he’s an idiot. He’s very able when it comes to maneuvering court, and he would be disgusted that Enrico is loose-lipped enough to cause such a travesty fhjdklss

👑 follower celebration! 👑

[clamityganon]

girl where is my live blogging. where are your thoughts on trc. I've been promised such things dude I NEED IT PLS DON'T FORGET ABOUT ME

AH FUCK I FORGOT ABOUT IT I ALREADY READ THE DREAM THEIVES AND BLUE LILY LILY BLUE I'M STILL WAITING ON THE RAVEN KING FROM MY LIBRARY

i guess i'll just add in my thoughts under the cut? yeah i'll do that

also i don't know when i got this ask because sometimes tumblr puts my inbox in through a wringer and i get things a lot later than i should. hopefully you find this?

dream thieves

RONANRONANRONANRONAN

i loved his POV. what an angsty dude. what a spectacular thought about the taste of gasoline being summery and sexy.

my favorite so far man it was very nice development for ronan and it was a great look into his brain

the book was nice and fast which sometimes made me a bit confused but it held my attentio

kavinsky's... well, he's kavinsky.

i hated him a lot but since we were kinda made to hate him i appreciated how he was written

the gray man was awesome

i hated him and then i hated him more for trying to get with blue's mom but then i realized he was a cool guy and now i love him a bunch

THE KINKS SOUNDTRACK!! i love the kinks

ALSO I LOVE GANSEY TOO HE'S SO CHILL i'd love to talk with him about old welsh kings and drive around in that shitty camaro

however this book did sort of instill some hatred for adam in me because all throughout the book his point of view was unbelievably whiny

i wasn't a big fan of him in this book especially since i liked him quite a bit in TRB

gansey and adam's little trip out to D.C was a little out-of-place to me personally, but i did like how gansey's whole family cared about adam in their own rich-people way

i know we're supposed to ship adam and ronan but gansey and adam were so gay together i couldn't help but ship them instead

annnnd blue was blue

i like her and i love how her outfits are described but i think more can be done with her, y'know? she's technically the main character but i feel like stiefvater threw her aside in favor of the boys

also her sudden "i like gansey now" emotions were confusing as FUCK throughout this arc. it didn't really make sense to me when she and adam were making moves in the first book

blue and noah have such a great friendship though i really love them together! when they went to monmouth and kissed it was everything they were so so so cute

all in all, it gets a solid 8/10 as a book because of everything we saw through ronan's eyes. his back must ache like a bitch from carrying the plotline

blue lily, lily blue

maura you goddamn idiot. you fucking idiot

i thought she was kidnapped but no? she decides to suddenly up-and-leave to look for a man who left her 18 years ago at the exact same time her daughter's entering her senior year and when another perfectly good man shows interest in her

her note wasn't even specific? nobody knew where she was, nobody had any means to contact her...

hurrah, they found her in the end with blue's dad. was i supposed to be happy for her while her family and friends were worried sick about finding her?

fuck you maura sargent, you irresponsible, rash, fool. fuck you

the "finding maura" plot left me feeling disgruntled and frustrated the entire time but i'm gonna stop talking about it before i put my fist through a wall

adam was a lot better in this book! i forgave him for being annoying because we were finally shown why he was so irritable in the last book

ALSO HIM CONFRONTING HIS FATHER!!! GOOD JOB!!!

blue was blue yet again. i keep saying this like it's a bad thing but do know that i like her all well. the scene on the boat was pretty great, with her jumping in and orla shamelessly flirting with everyone.

but blue and gansey were so weird. one second she's saying she finds him irritable and the next she's trying to kiss him? make up your mind! or don't! just don't confuse him or the readers any more!

persephone, persephone, persephone. i really liked her and they just snipped her off :// i'm glad she got along with adam and helped him out before she died though!

the gray man's employer was forgettable and just plain fucking annoying. i really wish ronan had been able to kill him. what a cowardly, weak man. i expected more from him but in the end he was disappointing.

his wife was a girlboss though and while i hated her i respected the grind she went through to get to the caves.

her waking up the sleeper while ignoring neeve's instructions is probably going to be of significance in the next book but i think it's a pretty wonky ending. not really looking forward to her or neeve's return.

[laurenlovesotome]

Hey there! This question reminds me of a post I did a little ways back on favorite characters. For me, it's really hard to choose a specific character that I love the most because I love many aspects of many different guys (^_^*)

Below is the collage I made of my top nine favorite characters, pretty much in the order of how much I love them (even though I still can't pick a favorite).

Victor - I love Victor for many reasons, one being that he is literally 110% my type. I love tall, muscular guys with dark hair and blue eyes, and he completely fits the bill. Victor is cool, refined, sarcastic, and rich - basically the total package lol. I also like that while he constantly teases even puts MC down at times, you can tell he truly cares about her through his actions. Every time I read anything with Victor, I'm always left wanting more, and that's the beauty of Mr. Love. Also, brownie points because he can cook.

Nobunaga - Nobunaga was the first otome route I ever read. That's right - ever. After reading his, I was absolutely hooked and the rest is history. I still love him dearly to this day, not just because I find his character attractive and love his cute, goofy, headstrong personality and seductiveness, but also because of the nostalgia I get when I think of him. It's like a first boyfriend - you never truly forget them, and you compare all the others to them. Nobunaga will always have a special place in my heart for this reason.

Kiro - Kiro is literally the cutest, sweetest thing in existence and I love him so much. If I were to date a guy in real life from any of my otome games, it would probably come down to either Kiro or Victor. I love Kiro because while he may appear to be a cute lil cinnamon bun on the outside, he also has a decent amount of mystery and bad-assery (is that a word or did I just invent that) up his sleeve (*cough cough* hacker Kiro anyone?). Every time I read his scenes, I find myself grinning like an absolute idiot at my phone screen. Kiro always knows how to cheer MC (and me!) up, and is pretty dorky and funny but also super soft and romantic. Ultimate boyfriend material right here. I'd do anything to be his Miss Chips.

Lancelot - Nobunaga was my first route in Ikémen Sengoku, and Lance was my first route in Ikémen Revolution. Again, definitely some nostalgia feelings and undying loyalty here because of it. I also like Lance because it was slow-building. I'm a huge sucker for tropes where MC and main guy don't get along at first, and might even hate each other, but then grow to realize that they love one another deep down. Lancelot's route was filled of so much passion and desire for me, and I absolutely loved unraveling the mystery of who he is and what he wants to do to Cradle. Straight up otome-style Beauty and the Beast. Honestly writing this is making me want to replay him again hehe (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)

Le Comte de Saint-Germain - While I haven't played Le Comte yet for obvious reasons (give him at least his jp route soon Cybird, I'm begging you), I love Le Comte's look and the fact he practically oozes power. I love guys who can take control, and Le Comte is the epitome of that in Ikevamp. He has money, he has a royal title, he owns the mansion, and he's a pureblood vampire... what more could you ask for? Ideally, Saint-Germain would turn me into a vampire and we'd spend the rest of our days time traveling across the world.

Mitsuhide - Misunderstood, mysterious, and absolutely stunning- all words that describe Mitsuhide. I love the fact that while he comes off as a sneaky, backstabbing prick, you come to realize later on that that might not be the case. I am not prepared for when his route comes out in eng - that's all I have to say. #mysnek <3

Arthur - Arthur fits my type of guy (i.e. same description as Victor). His blue eyes are absolutely stunning, and his mole is soooo cute *squeals*. I love the fact that he's a lady's man and comes off as super flirty, and my fingers are crossed that his route is the next one to be released in eng since that's the pattern that was followed for jp. I need him ASAP.

Gavin - Gavin lowkey reminds me of this guy I was obsessed with in high school. Popular, boy next door, sweet, and protective. It's probably why I also love him so much. That, and the fact he's a cop hehe - gotta love a man in uniform. Also, Gavin has my favorite superpower out of all the guys. If you know me, you know if I could have any power it would be flight, and so a date with Gavin swaying mid-air underneath the stars sounds pretty. freaking. awesome.

Leonardo - Ah, Leonardo. The very last of my top nine. I love Leonardo because he oozes charisma and confidence - total alpha male. Also, he is super sweet to MC, making his route enjoyable to read for the hopeless romantic in me. I love Italian (I'm minoring in it) so it's a definite bonus for me that he'll throw in some Italian words and phrases here and there. Also, Cara Mia is like the cutest pet name ever - gentlemen, take notes. He is also my first route in Ikémen Vampire (are you seeing a pattern here with first routes because I definitely am???).

BONUS: Amon - Almost every one tells me I'm mentally insane for loving Amon and honestly I probably am. I love his wild, untamed look (I mean- that hair, c'mon). I also am a sucker for misunderstood villain types, so if they did end up giving him even just a short route with a redemption trope, I would loooove it with my entire soul and being. Also, MAGIC. (shameless plug: my Amon fan account blog @inlovewithlordamon)

[amrita-gsk]

Okay, okay, so I watched Fade to Black the other day and I kept thinking "Wow, that one IchiRuki blog I followed recently was righter than rain. They're gott damn fools in love." And then I watched Hell Verse and I'm like, "He went back into Hell for her (and Renji n Uryuu, but the focus was on Rukia so like, whatever, right?). He's a gott damn fool in love." It's so obvious that's is nearly painful, lmao

Sorry for the super late reply but I hadn’t checked my asks, I’M REALLY SORRY!!! But never late than never, right? 

You are most certainly right, it’s physically painful to watch just how obvious their relationship is and even though the movies aren’t considered canon (although FtB is half canon due to how much Kubo invested himself on it) it does leave you thinking just why Pierrot always made so much emphasis on them. People like to argue and say it was because Rukia is the co-protagonist and that’s why she is shown to have so much importance to Ichigo, but in my opinion they could have highlighted Rukia‘s general relevance to the series without it holding such a sentimental value for him… however I can’t say they came up with it out of nowhere because they only took what already existed in the manga, deepened it and centered around it to make a whole movie out of it. Also, what was said by Kubo, Masakazu Morita and Fumiko Orikasa during the promotion campaign for the movie raised a lot the expectations regarding the nature of their relationship, I’ll quote some:

INCLUDED IN THE FADE TO BLACK MOVIE GUIDE

(Morita and Orikasa were interviewed regarding their experience while working in the movie. I shall refer to the interviewer as Q… for question, yes, I’m that simple. There were also some titles for some questions, which I will keep along the questions. )

Q: What were your thoughts when you first heard the third movie will be a story centering around Ichigo and Rukia?

Moritan: Compared to the first two movies, when I read the scenario I felt that it was a very strong story. I thought that it was a story that would revolutionize the “origin” of Bleach, with the meeting of Ichigo and Rukia as its main focus.

Oririn: I was surprised by the catchphrase “sayonara Rukia”. Director Abe told me that “something is going to happen to Rukia” so I felt insecure (laugh). But then I saw that the scene from the first episode was going to be in the movie and understood that because the TV animation of Bleach exists, this movie was able to exist as well. It is because of this that I think this movie may reach deep into the hearts of the people that has supported us up until now.

Q: To convey things that can’t be seen… Parting from this theme, what does this movie strongly aims to express? 

Oririn: The movie tries to show something that can’t simply be seen with your eyes. I think that if I were to put it in words, I’d call it “bond”, but even then something deep inside our hearts might disagree. I feel the movie theme is so delicate that it cannot be explained just by words.Moritan: Because we’re practically done with recording this third movie, I feel very strongly about the “bond” there is with Rukia and beyond that, the connection between their souls. We reenacted Ichigo and Rukia’s meeting in the first episode from four years ago. Since then, through all of our journey and until now, as Ichigo and as myself as well, there were a lot of times when we came to become used to our mutual relationship. Then, a shocking meeting was drawn again and Ichigo as well as myself, were reminded of how important Rukia’s existence is. We were able to question it again. I think this series is becoming like that.

Oririn: I know that Ichigo cared about Rukia but I never thought it was something this deep, so it was a bit unexpected. Right now it seems appropriate to call it “history” because thanks to the things of the past we are able to have today, which is connecting to the future. I feel very strongly that Ichigo and Rukia’s relationship isn’t something that was built in the blink of an eye but rather it’s something that’s still being built up.

Q: It’s quite complicated, isn’t it?

Moritan: For me, I feel that the theme this time, “bond”, shows that the connection between souls is thicker than blood, but if I were to say that’s everything there’s to it then it would feel wrong and that won’t do. The first movie theme was “protect”, the second was “believe” and I took those words inside and buried them deep within me while performing. But this time it wasn’t enough to just use the word “bond”. Even if you were to say “I really love you” to your loved one, you still wouldn’t be able to tell them how much you really love them. My feelings are exactly like that right now. But even if “bond” couldn’t describe it, saying “super bond” sounds weird (laugh).

Q: Let’s pick up on what Orikasa-san said.

Moritan: There are a lot of things packed inside that emotion. And inside of it, choosing just one won’t show you the way. I wish to leave it to everyone’s own impression to see and feel just how deep that feeling is.

Oririn: That’s right, we’ll leave it to every fan that watches the movie, to decide with their own thoughts and feelings if the story is really that deep or not.

Q: Is Ichigo and Rukia’s confrontation an important point?

Oririn: It’s their first confrontation, but this time Rukia isn’t herself and doesn’t have any memories so I just went along with it without giving it much thought.

Moritan: It was difficult for me. Ichigo could never attack Rukia, you know. So it was really hard to fight her. It was very hard for Ichigo to see Rukia’s altered form.

The Recording Process

Q: How was the recording?

Moritan: Back when we did the first movie it was also our first time so we got really worked up about it, but because this is the third time, the recording became stylish and refined without any meaningless acts. The whole recording was made so it could be observed from behind, so we could concentrate only in performing and it was very fun. I was able to perform Ichigo’s core essence without any distracting thoughts. However it was my first time having to shout “Rukia!” so much.

Oririn: I’m usually the one that keeps calling “Ichigo!”, right? (laugh)

Moritan: I actually discovered a new way to perform and wistfully cry out “Rukia”.

Q: Speaking of performance, we heard that Ichigo’s voice is being renewed?

Moritan: That’s right. I changed my voice this time. It’s the fifth year and the third movie after all (laugh).

Oririn: Is that so? (laugh)

Moritan: Actually, Ichigo’s voice has changed numerous times up until now. I think you’ll notice that his current voice is really different if you watch the first episode again. I’m leaving behind my turning point and letting Ichigo grow. The Ichigo of this moment is like going back to the first Ichigo as I performed raising my voice a bit. What’s more, I usually talk monotonously and as if I was uninterested but this time I attempted to more or less give more intonation to it so the words themselves would express on their own. Actually, and I’m not trying to show off, but when I was practicing at home this voice for Ichigo was naturally born. When I stopped to wonder why, I realized just how much Rukia’s existence is able to move your heart. So this voice came out naturally from myself and I felt that if I performed with it as it was, my own heart would also be easily touched. So then I was able to act with this voice during the recording.

Q: As a result, did the Sound Supervisor give you an OK?

Moritan: I did it secretly without asking permission. I got scolded and were given an NG (no good) so I was worried. However, because the voice intonation was congruent, Ichigo’s change in emotions was tangible in the story.

Q: Then, did Orikasa-san make any changes as well? 

Oririn: Even though the movie was special, I didn’t make any changes. I’ve been entrusted to perform Rukia in the TV anime version until now, so I’m always striving to express Rukia’s feelings one by one. It wasn’t any different for the movie. Only during her time in Inuzuri, the young Rukia who lived together with the twins had a different personality than the Rukia after her meeting with Ichigo. I think that she became cooler. During the flashback scenes, I performed while keeping in mind that she would express her emotions differently during those times.

Q: Did you make any good memories during the recording?

Oririn: During the scene when Rukia’s memories about Ichigo are returning I was asked to insert an improvisation of a warm word that symbolizes her, but because Rukia only used to say insults, I couldn’t come up with anything (laugh).

Moritan: Everyone tried very hard to think of something, but at the end all we could come up with was “tawake” (idiot). It was troublesome. I said, “I don’t remember ever being told warm words!” then everyone burst into laughter.

Oririn: The whole cast and staff were laughing hard, and come to think about it, even Kubo-sensei who had come by was laughing as well. Looking at his smiling face I could really feel his trust in us. It left a very good feeling.

Moritan: Even though he was busy, he kept looking after us for the whole two days of recording. His presence gave us strength and assured our hearts.

Message

Q: To finish, do you have a message for the fans?

Oririn: This time around the movie is about “a feeling that can’t be described by words” (laugh). What the characters hold inside their hearts couldn’t be expressed by a single word, it doesn’t have a shape and it can’t be seen but they’re connected at their very core… I strongly think that rather than watching, I wish everyone will be able to feel it.

Moritan: I hope for the fans to think about the importance of calling out someone’s name. This time, Ichigo is calling out Rukia, Renji, Byakuya and other people’s names but no one calls out his name. Even though he calls out no one answers him, so now I know how sad it is having no one to call your name. A name isn’t only something for you to call other people, but for other people to call you as well, that’s what I’m trying to say. I wish for everyone to watch the movie and understand how important it is. And after finishing watching the movie, I wish everyone will call out the name of the person they love.

…Those were Morita and Fumiko’s opinions on it (there’s more, but this is already long as it is) now, here’s what Kubo had to say about it:

INSIDE THE PAMPHLET GIVEN OUT DURING FTB’S PREMIERE

Kubo: The third movie is a special work for BLEACH. It’s different from the usual element of the other movies and it’s a story in which BLEACH’s origin is closely drawn. I’m hoping for this story to remain, even if just a little, inside the heart of a lot of people.

INSIDE THE MOVIE GUIDE

Q: Like in the previous work, we heard you were involved in this year’s movie since the early stage. 

K: I think it all started around March when Director Abe and the movie staff came to me. Back then, Director Abe wanted a “back to the beginning” theme and wished for the main characters, Ichigo and Rukia, to be the focus of the story. On top of that, he wanted to portray something that linked back to the first chapter of Bleach, it’s original appearance… I was very happy to know that the movie was heading in that direction and said “that’s good, let’s go with that!” And from then on I joined in the production and put together the story and the setting after discussing it with everyone. 

Q: We heard the scenario was completed after a lot of hardships?

K: The theme of the story was something I could agree with, but there were still some parts that made me worry up until the end. The speech in the last scene especially, I discussed it and decided it with the director at the recording studio (laugh). 

To tell you the truth there are still bits I wanted to develop but if I did that who knows how long the film would be (laughs).

(I’ll make a pause here because in case anyone is wondering, he’s referring to Ichigo’s speech at the end, the one that goes: 

“If death isn’t really the end, then that time we met might not have been the first. We might have been connected from long before that. I’m not really sure, but I think maybe once a bond is formed, it never disappears. If that’s the case, even if we forget everything, we’ll be connected again somewhere in the future.”

Soooo… yep, he personally worked on it.)

Q: Even the subtitle was given from you?

K: Ever since the second movie the subtitle was brought up by me. Since the moment I heard Rukia would lose her memory the image that her memories of Ichigo and the Gotei 13 would disappear came into my mind. After that, the meaning of “disappearing into black” became the subtitle “fade to black”.

Q: You even came up with the japanese subtitle “Calling Out Your Name”.

K: After coming up with the english subtitle “fade to black” they asked me to come up with a japanese one (laugh). So after carefully digesting the scenario I searched for some scenes that could hold the key words that I could use and found in the plot that someone calling someone else’s name was a strong expression that “even though no one else remembers you I do” and I found out it had an important meaning behind it, especially regarding this story where Ichigo keeps calling Rukia’s name. So that’s how I came up with the subtitle “calling out your name”.

Q: Please tell us, in your opinion, what’s the highlight of this movie?

K: Regarding the fights it’s not Ichigo vs. the Gotei 13, but Ichigo vs. Rukia. In the first scenario there wasn’t a “last boss” yet and someone raised the question about it. And we thought that since Ichigo forgot about Rukia, “we want to see Ichigo and Rukia!” We started planning after that. In this fight there’s actually a scene that links back to the first chapter of the manga and in my opinion I feel it’s the most important scene in the movie. It links with what the director said about going “back to the beginning”.

Q: As you were involved in this movie, were there any bits you drew thinking about going “back to the beginning”?

K: I didn’t come up with the idea of using the scene where Rukia gives her power to Ichigo like in the very first chapter, so going back to that scene in the movie made a strong impression in me and I felt that it was very interesting. On top of that, because of this story I was able to recognize once again that Ichigo and Rukia’s relationship is something special.

Q: What do you think about the bond those two have with each other?

K: It’s not friendship but it’s not an amorous feeling either. Regarding these two, I don’t think there is other relationship like theirs in other works where despite standing in a very close position with each other it is not romance (laughs). But in this year’s movie there is a scene where Ichigo says Rukia is his “precious nakama” and I think that explains their relationship well.

Q: You watched the movie at a private screening, but what sort of feelings did you have about it?

K: I had fun (laughs), because it’s my own work it feels completed but on the hand it means that you can’t create anything stronger than that. In some parts while I was drawing I would think “would this sort of situation really happen?”, but even so I was the one who thought and came up with the plot so even it amazes me it doesn’t feel “new”. Even if I as the original author was involved, the drawings are done by other people and the voices are done by the voice actors, so when the movie is completed I always savor the feeling of surprise. “They should move like this”, “their voices are like that”, I always give feedback with a lot of emotion and excitement, and I’m always looking forward to that.

Q: What bits do you want everyone to focus on?

K: The relationship between Ichigo and Rukia. The change in their feelings.

And there you have it. I won’t add anything about Hellverse because they centered more around the action aspect of it during the promotion so that’s it. I did find curious the fact that Kokuto decided to use Rukia to bait Ichigo to attack him… although I could always just go with “she’s the only female of the group, Ichigo has a savior complex, yadda yadda yadda…” but they could have also just kept Yuzu longer in hell to motivate him. There’s also the fact that once he defeats him he basically forgets about Uryuu and Renji as he’s too occupied talking to Rukia… I WONDER WHY *shrugs*. The thing with Fade to Black is that Kubo was deeply involved in its production and as I quoted above from what he said back when it first got released he actually said that he came up with the plot himself and that it was his work, and I think it speaks tons about what actually is the nature of their relationship when you watch this movie and you get that speech at the end (besides everything that happens in between, including Ichigo’s built-in Rukia radar), and then the author of the original work comes and tells you he worked on it himself.

IchiRuki is painful in the sense that it’s so right, so harmonious, so obvious, so perfectly written and executed, but it got served wrong at the end. But yes, their relationship is the maximum expression of love there is on earth and I think I don’t speak only for myself when I say they’re the goal.

[oc-challenges]

Not a hate anon but I'm curious if you knew the other secret blog was Maddie's, and you knew her main blog was hers, but you must have publicly seen her making the crossovers at least and some requests with both blogs. How did you miss this?

I scroll and I stare. I often do not read. Especially when I am tired, and when I am feeling bad. It also took me probably like a year to connect ocfanhub with codenamekryptonite. I think I first noticed when they made a request from both their accounts in my birthday giveaway, which frustrated me but I felt stupid for being frustrated with it bc I did not understand how or why it was a big deal at the time.

So the answers?

A. I knew Maddie was codenamekryptonite but it also took me quite a while to notice that codenamekryptonite was ocfanhub bc I wasn’t actually told of that part. I just knew they had made a separate blog for their original story that they wanted to put under pseudonym.

B. I don’t believe in using mental illnesses as an excuse but it is a simple truth that when I am feeling particularly anxious or depressed I scroll through social media or watch things without actually processing.

C. I also have a psychical illness that messes with my functions and so they do not work properly sometimes, most notable to this situation making my eyes droopy and therefore everything blurry but I am an idiot who refuses to rest and stay off the internet even if I cannot read things.

D. I am an idiot. Truly. I notice very little, and I connect very little. This is my own fault, as I said “fuck my potential, I am too tired for this.”

Also, I felt that if I were to say anything, I was betraying a friend. It took me too long to realize that I was not being treated like a friend in return and that I was hurting other people by shielding my “friend”. I am truly sorry, but I am trying to learn and be better. I refuse to allow such a thing and betrayal to ruin something I enjoy. — Ali